#and I’m not going anywhere near wattpad

[displayheartcode]

someone pointed out that between nanowrimo (ai shills) and pitchwars (gone with the entire writing twitter ecosystem), the whole community aspect of being a fiction writer is vanishing online

[sunnybunnyy2]

Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Right

Daryl Dixon x platonic!reader

Negan Smith x daughter!reader

WORD COUNT: 4.0k

TIME: season 7

Warnings: imprisonment, talk of rapists(briefly), talk of murder, mentions of Abe’s and Glenn’s deaths, arguments, mentions of saviours, mentions of what transpired in season six and seven, spoiler warning and bad writing.

CHAPTER 2 of the Dark Cell series

Series Masterlist Official Masterlist

This is long awaited! I'm sorry that this has taken so long but I have been making fanfics on Wattpad recently and if you are a fellow fanfic writer you understand how much unnecessary time it takes to come up with ideas and lines to make your character come to life. Thank you all for being so patient with me! Also, requests are open, and I will be redoing my master list, so look out for that. I have been influenced so yes, this is going to become a series so stay tuned! Now that I finished this part I have more motivation to actually write for this! I’d you want to be tagged in the series let me know! Thank you so much for reading<3

(if there is third person slip ups I’m sorry, I’m just so used to writing in third person :( )

The exchanges took place every night at around 1 a.m., and it had for the past seven days.

You would arrive carrying a plate or bowl of whatever leftover food you had managed to swipe from the kitchen or some dinner from the meals you would share with Negan. 

You had aimed to make the food before you went down so that it was still hot but it was risky as, there was a large chance that one of Negan's men would notice and alert your father, which would raise suspicion. 

The food consisted of Sandwiches, chicken, pasta, fish, soup and wraps. 

You wished you could do it more often, but you knew that it would largely increase the chances of you getting caught. 

You knew your punishment wouldn't be anywhere near how severe Daryl's would be. You also knew that as much as you pleaded your father would allow his pawns to have their fun in harming the long-haired man. You weren't quite sure why your father's men were so willing to starve and beat a man senseless to appear strong. Men and their egos you supposed. 

Your father could preach all he wanted about how he would do anything for his daughter, how he would move mountains to appease you. How he would kill anyone who dared to disrespect you (he had) but yet he couldn't try and be a better man. He couldn't put his rage and grieve the wicked world had caused him and help people instead of torturing broken people and turning people who wanted to survive into heartless killers. Turn them into him. 

You couldn't say you hated your father. You never could. But that certainly didn't mean you agreed with half the things he did. 

You could tell he cared what you thought of him. You were the last thing he had of your mother, but that didn't mean he listened to you when you expressed your opinion. 

You and your father were close before all of this happened, well before you found out about his affair. After that day you hated everything about him. Even when your mother got sick and he stood by her, did everything for her. You weren't sure if it was because of how guilty he felt for betraying her or because he loved her. 

Normally you would insist on it being the first but now she was at a loss. 

Since your mother's demise, your once childish but thoughtful father had turned into a power-hungry greedy man. At first you gave him the benefit of the doubt. He was grieving and was trying to find a way to cope with the loss of the woman he loved but it was as though he was forgetting that his daughter had lost her mother.

He wanted to make you happy, so he gifted you the biggest room in the sanctuary and allowed you to purchase whatever you desired without working, though you often helped with the growing crops in the back of the sanctuary. Your father never really liked the idea of her around the fence but he backed down after a heated argument between you. He did send some of his men to keep an eye on you, he tried to be discreet but his men were less than. 

You always made sure to bring a large glass of tap water from your room down to his cell, wanting to at least make sure he didn't die of dehydration. 

You knew that his physical health wasn't as bad as it was before but you knew that his mental health was still declining. He had been locked in the tiny cell for weeks on end, the only sound filling his ears was the constant lyrics of the song 'East Street'. 

The bags under his eyes were proof enough of the lack of sleep he had been receiving. The way his eyes could barely focus on one thing when you would bring him his meals was another important factor in your conclusion. 

Since your visits had become more frequent he had uttered his name quietly into the comfortable silence that had filled the cell as he hastily inhaled what was in front of him. It was so quiet that you had barely heard him, but once you realized that it wasn't your imagination you smiled softly to yourself before muttering your name as well. 

In your mind, you were friends. You knew his name, he knew yours, you would bring him food, he would be thankful and you were both the highlight of each other's day. 

Daryl- because he wasn't rapidly dropping weight as he had been before from his lack of food, which in turn kept his brain running so he could coax his thoughts into coming up with a plan to escape his captivity. Plus your company wasn't so bad he reckoned.

You- because you got to meet another survivor from a rivalling group, you had heard your father angrily ranting to his soldiers about how this mysterious group had taken out one of his many posts and killed everyone in it. 

You were shocked at how brutal this group could be but you knew that your father could be even more heartless and it was proven when a week later whispers were passed along through the sanctuary that your father had partaken in another one of his lineups and had bashed in two members of Daryl's groups heads in with Lucille. 

You knew that Daryl's group had killed countless people, saviours but at least their families and friends didn't have to see it, as apparently the people from the outpost were killed while they slept. It was a very cowardly way to kill but it was better in a way, they didn't see it coming. 

You clutched the tray of food which consisted of a slice of ham from a pig the saviours had recently slaughtered as a way to celebrate the new community they had under their control, standing with the other few that they had taken over. With a side of carrots that you had picked herself to give him some energy. 

Then finally a generous helping of mashed potatoes to fill him up, as you knew that a small sandwich was going to get him through the day. Well, you guessed it was two, as Dwight had made sure to feed him a dog food sandwich every other day to keep him going. A dark pork gravy from the brand Bisto (clubhouse is better but whatever) that was covering a large portion of the potatoes. Your father did always say that you made it taste even better when you made it.

Your eyes peeked around the sharp corner to make sure Arat was on her way to her break that she always made sure to hide, always quick on her feet to head to her room to get several strong minutes of shut-eye. 

Your eyes caught sight of Arat quietly creeping her way further and further away from Daryl's new home. You waited a couple of minutes until you were sure she was in her room, possibly already captivated by sleep. You placed one foot in front of the other as you too, crept down the hallway, the fear of getting caught burning fear into her veins.

You balanced the tray on one hand as you reached into your left pocket, to pull out the cell key that you had stolen from Laura, well it wasn't quite stealing, she had dropped it and hadn't even noticed. You could still remember her confused face when she caught you on the ground after catching you mid-grab. You smiled at her and played it off as if you were tying your shoe, which she bought as she shot you a smile and continued on with her ranting. 

You turned the key clockwise into the rusting metal, smiling in satisfaction when the lock clicked quietly as a sign that it was now unlocked.

The creak that was loudly pulled from the door as it was opened left you cringing as you quickly shuffled into the room, closing the door until there was only a fragment of it for a little bit of light but it wasn't large enough to draw suspicion towards your meetings. 

You could already see Daryl gazing up at you as you pulled the door closed, before lowering yourself to the floor, holding your hands out as a sign for him to take the plate which he did. He had loosened up a large amount since you had started being him food a week ago. 

He was still stand-offish and didn't like to talk about his group which you didn't blame him for, you were with the enemy, you were his daughter. You weren't sure if he knew of your status at the sanctuary but if he did, it didn't come from you. It had already taken a great amount of effort to gain his trust and you wouldn't want it broken just because of who your father was. 

If he brought it up, you would talk to him about it, but for now, you didn't want to risk losing one of the only people that didn't just suck up to you because they wanted more points or because they were scared to face your father's wrath if they hurt your feelings. 

"Hey, sorry I was late, Arat took longer than usual to hit the deck." You quickly explained as expected the food in a curious glint in his eyes. "It's ham. Sorry, I didn't know if you liked it but they just killed a pig and me and my-... I had some for dinner earlier, it was good... and there's potatoes obviously, there's some cheese in them too with carrots and gravy." His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you in question just as he had been since you had almost slipped up. "Don't worry, it's not poisoned well... at least I hope it isn't because I ate the same thing but I guess we'll find out."

He let a harsh breath out of his nose that sounded similar to a laugh before he picked up the metal fork before shoving a large bite of potatoes in his mouth, a barely audible groan fell from his lips as he continued to inhale the food, not even bothering to use the knife that you had brought to cut the meat, opting to just pick it up with his hands. 

If it was anyone else you would find the wild eating disgusting, but you understood. He was being starved as a torture method to force him into submission. You had seen this countless times, but nearly all had caved within the first few days. It was shocking to you how strong he was. If it had been you... you weren't sure how long you could last if you were in the same position. 

From how wild he was eating you could only assume today wasn't the day he got fed from Dwight. 

You assumed you did well with the amount of food you had given him. 

You kept your eyes trained on the opened part of the door to make sure the coast was clear still. Normally this side of the sanctuary was almost always deserted, but since Daryl as been held here, you had noticed a lot of working people wanted to catch a glimpse of one of the Alexandrians who had killed numerous soldiers. You weren't sure if was from fear or awe. 

"Why are you doing this." He asked as he looked up from his half-eaten plate of food, to examine you while you spoke as if to see if you would lie to him. 

"I don't like how he's handing this. I mean... what your group did was wrong. Really wrong. But what he's doing to you isn't right. No one should have to deal with this. I mean other than rapists, pedophiles, or child killers. I mean murder is really bad but there are some ways to excuse it, like self-defence but I mean the worlds over. People kill each other every day to survive. Don't make it right but it makes sense. You did what you thought you had to, to 'save' your group." You ranted slightly as you looked down.

"So you're doing this because I deserve better?" Daryl asked with a quiet snort as though he couldn't fathom the thought of someone actually thinking he was a decent guy. 

"Everyone deserves better in some way. But no, some people just need a little help sometimes. You do, so I'm trying to help you." You said as watched him proceed with eating.

He looked up at you after he took yet another bite of his food. "I ain't need no help." He dismissed with a huff as he finished the last of his food.

"Obviously you do. Everybody does. You're no exception." You disagreed as he watched for any signs of Arat possibly returning earlier than usual.

"So why ya helping me? I'm sure the big man has more bitchs." He all but growled as he thought about your father causing your face to drop slightly as he kept your eyes away from him, in hopes of him not being able to see your full life story from just the shine in your eyes. Daryl looked like the type to be able to, you thought.

"He has some other... people in cells-" You were cut off by Daryl as he let out a dangerous scoff that should have had you scared. You were in a closed space with someone who wanted your father dead, I mean sure he didn't know that you and the man he hated most shared the same blood but it didn't matter. You were a Smith and that would never change. No matter how much you hoped and prayed that your father would suddenly turn a new leaf, it never seemed to happen. So at some point, you just saved your previously wasted breath. 

"Ya mean prisoners?" He spoke sharply, his words not a question but a statement, showcasing how enraged he truly was with her father. 

"Yeah...prisoners. There is some down here, yes. But they deserve it." You said while shaking your head as you thought about the awful people that were locked down here.

"Ain't nobody deserve this shit." He said with his whole chest as his eyes scanned your face with a mixture of hate and disgust at your words. You couldn't blame him though, he was locked in a cell and you had just said that the people locked in them deserved it. 

"They're awful people. Rapists, child killers, people who kill without reason-"

"I ain't no rapist and I ain't no child killers. Me and my people had every righ-"

"Nobody has a right to take someone's life. Who made us god? When did we get to choose who got to live and who got to die?" You argued as you furrowed your brows at the man's words.

"How bout' ya tell yer buddy that? He killed my friends." He raised his voice louder than necessary which earned him a dirty look from you as you peeked out of the sliver of the door that shined light into the cell and once you were sure no one was coming with guns raised you turned back to face him. 

"You killed dozens of his men while they were sleeping. You do realize that, right? I'm not saying what he did was right either, but you're lucky he didn't kill more of your people." You ranted slightly as you looked at him in confusion, he was so stuck in his own misery that he wasn't thinking about how other people were affected by his and his group's actions. 

"Lucky? He bashed my friend's heads in." He said angrily but it was quiet. As if trying to scare you into submission but you didn't back down.

"And I'm sorry for your friends. I really am. But you couldn't have thought that your group could get away with slaughtering- and it was a slaughtering,  his men and get away scot-free. You killed his soldiers. He takes that shit as a personal attack. So when I say I'm surprised he didn't kill more of you I mean it." 

"One of my friends' wives was pregnant' ya think she deserved ta see that? Now tha' kid's gonna grow up without a father."

"Of course not. That's awful and I'm so sorry...but some of the men and women you slaughtered had kids. Wives. Parents. They had people who loved them too. One of the men, Mike, had a pregnant wife at one of the other outposts. She was eight months and gave birth to her baby girl two days after he died. Alone. And a woman, Mel, just got married to the man she loved, they were trying for a baby... He killed himself last week. Hung himself in his room all alone." You paused for a moment to see if he was going to speak up but when he didn't, you continued.

"An-and a woman named Willow had a baby at another outpost. Now that baby has to grow up without a mother. Another man named Carlos was an only child and had to work for points to provide for his parents. They're old and can't do it themselves. Now they're barely eating and are so depressed that their health is deteriorating, we're not sure how long they have left. So I'm sorry that your friends lost people they cared about but you didn't just get your group hurt with your guy's actions. You guys ruined so many lives that night." 

You finished your rant as you shook your head, looking up at him only to see him looking down at his hands, his overgrown hair hung low to cover his eyes, masking his true reaction.

"I'm not trying to say that your friends' deaths don't matter but you can't just go around acting like you didn't kill people either. Like everyone else's pain doesn't matter to not feel guilty. But it does." You said quietly before deciding you had spent long enough in the stuffy cell. You reached over, grabbing the plate from in front of him before pulling yourself to your feet. You waited for him to speak again but he didn't bother and once you turned around he noticed that he hadn't moved from his place. 

"Good night." You shook your head before he pulled the creaky door open a little more so the gap was large enough to fit your body through, closing it until you felt the metal clank quietly against metal. 

You pulled out the key and shoved it into the lock, twisting it quickly before you heard quiet footsteps walking down the hallway from where Arat had left from. It seemed like you had left at the perfect time, you supposed.

You quietly but hastily quickened your pace until you were at the same corner you had looked over from around fifteen minutes prior. 

You watched as Arat ran a hand over her short black and bleached blonde hair as she let out a yawn, swaying on her feet slightly from the over-tiredness she was experiencing, which was probably in full swing by the shortness of her sleep. 

You let out a quiet sigh of relief before you quietly made your way in the direction of her room, the plate held tightly in your grasp as you walked past the mostly deserted sanctuary, sending a small smile to some of the saviours on watch duty. Most sent one back your way, while others seemed annoyed at the fact that they had duty at all, leaving them too aggravated to bother.

You were about to turn the handle of your door when you heard a voice stop you.

"Baby? What are you doin' up? It's late." Your father's voice stopped you in your tracks. A part of you wanted to run into your room and pretend that you had been sleepwalking but you knew your father knew you better than that and could almost always tell when you were fake sleeping. It was an odd talent if you were to be frank. So you turned around with a smile and spoke.

"I couldn't sleep. Decided to take a walk." You lied.

"With an empty plate of food?" He asked with raised eyebrows a sarcastic smirk on his face.

"...I got hungry on the way. Just heated up some leftovers from dinner. Didn't know that was a crime, Dad." You huffed in an attempt to sound believable.

"It's late. You could have woken me up. I would have walked with you." He said as he studied you. 

"Seriously, dad? Literal armed guards are crawling the place. I think I'm okay walking to the kitchen. Plus you barely sleep as it is." You rolled your eyes at his mindset.

"I always have time for you, hunny... so who's the boy? Or girl. I don't discriminate. Hell, ya could be in love with a goddamn pumpkin and I would still approve. Maybe a little weirded out but hey, we all have our kinks." He smirked but his nose scrunched up slightly as he realized he was talking to his daughter and not one of his henchmen. 

"Oh, wow, you figured it out. His name is Donteatmyseedsplease. I didn't want to keep it from you but I don't think you would approve. I'm so very glad I have your support, father dearest." You said in an overly happy voice even your eyes rolled with almost every word you spoke. You turned back to your door and turned ten knob, not going in as though to not give your father the opportunity to join you.

"You'll have to bring him over for dinner sometime we'll have squash." 

"That wasn't funny Dad." 

"Damn, you know how to wound a man's ego. Good girl, I taught you well." He said in a proud tone.

"I'm exhausted. Can we talk tomorrow? I wanted to talk to you about something actually..." You spoke as you pushed your door open even wider than it had been and started to make her way into your large room.

"That's never good." He groaned before he leaned over to land a kiss atop your head. "I'll see you tomorrow, baby. I'm busy but I always have time for you." He pulled away and sent a smile your way which you returned before closing the door and leaning against it. A sigh of relief left your lips as you realized you were in the clear.

TAG LIST: @cult-of-norman @book-place @ilovespiderpeople @kazunish @mysouleaten

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[skzhocomments]

The Pearls On Your Neck (Hyunjin // Lee Know x OC)- Part One

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Part Two

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Part One

chapter word count: 7.2k words

Pearl's POV

It's the third period, and I’m still stuck next to Minho. The day couldn’t have dragged on more. I was so excited about the new term, however, it seems that the universe enjoys playing tricks on me. Minho has got to be the most stupidly good-looking person I know, but also one of the biggest asses I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Not only am I stuck next to him, but the lecture is also brain-numbingly boring; I swear my brain is going to turn into liquid and drip out my nose. The lecturer's monotone voice seems to go straight through me, or in one ear and out the other. I wonder if he has a wife or kids and if they hate his voice the same way I do. I’ve had him for 2 years now, and I hoped I wouldn’t have him for another but it seems like I’ve run out of luck or just have bad karma from something I’ve done in a past life.

Fuck this.

How am I going to learn anything when I’ve got the most annoying person on earth besides me and the lecturer can’t seem to do his job right? It’s ridiculous, and I can feel myself becoming more irritated by the second.

I’ve been staring out the window for hours on end. It's such a nice day outside and I can’t help but wish to be out there laying on the aromatic, lush green field enjoying the miraculous, vibrant blue sky and blazing sun. Maybe even have a picnic, either way, it doesn’t matter; anywhere besides here would be better. But I am here, absent-mindedly clicking my pen repetitively, and it seems to have had an effect on Minho as he turns to face me with the biggest frown I’ve ever seen.

“Shut the fuck up,” he scolds snatching the pen out of my hand and slamming it on the table in front of us, “are you going to be this annoying for the rest of the term? Or are you doing this on purpose to annoy me?”

This fucking twat.

I scoff at him. Does he seriously think everything is about him? I can feel my blood boiling at how unfortunate it was to be seated together. Out of everyone it had to be this stupid boy. Does he think the world revolves around him? I roll my eyes. How obnoxious can he get?

“Don’t you know it’s rude to snatch,” I say as I snatch back my pen from under his hand, “would have thought you were raised in a barn with manners like yours, and no. Not everything is about you as much as you’d like to think it is. Diabolical prick.” I say and turn back to face the window.

“Okay princess, get off your high horse, don’t act all high and mighty.” I snap my head back to face him and I can practically see the steam coming out of his ears.

And I can feel the heat radiating from me, “I’m not a princess, don’t call me that!” I start clicking the pen again to get a rise out of him, he did it first so why can’t I do it back?

“God, you're so infuriating!” Minho says as he drops his head back and slips further into his chair, and his leg grazes mine.

“Don’t touch me.” I say as I push his leg harshly away from mine, it hits the metal table leg and he hisses in pain, “and stop speaking. Oh my god, you're going to give me a headache!” I rub my temples because honestly, I can feel a headache coming on.

If he was going to say anything, he definitely couldn’t now, because the lunch bell has rung and I’m not going to stay near him a second longer, so I quickly grab my book and pen, shoving them into my bag. Not caring if my book gets creased, I need to find Cynthia. I promised her coffee.

~

“Oh my God, hi!” Cynthia almost threw me to the ground, jumping on me from excitement. “It’s so good to see you! I’ve missed you soooo much!”

“Didn’t I see you at my house, like, yesterday?” I roll my eyes. She has always been this dramatic, but that’s what I love the most about her, and it might just be the reason why I think she’s my best friend.

“That’s different! I wasn’t there to see you.”she chuckles nudging my elbow.

“Seeing you all laughs and smiles, that must mean that you got what you wanted?” I chuckle as well, watching as she excitedly squeaks like a kid.

“You know I did! Seungmin is so good in bed, he-”

“Ew. Please- just no.” I wave my hand around trying to stop her from talking further, to no avail. “No details.”

“made me cum 3 times! I swear to God, this boy-”

Cynthia has always had the biggest mouth, and once she’s started speaking, she just can’t stop herself. That’s what was good about her, on one hand, you knew she was honest at all times, but on the other… let’s just say she never thought before speaking and would always say things she shouldn't, which sometimes got us in awkward situations.

However, her heart is made of gold, and I love her a lot. Enough to get over her sometimes being a pain in the neck.

“Cynthia, girl, I love you, but hearing how my brother fucks was not on my list of `Things I care about and/or want to know`, so please, keep it to yourself!” I whine, covering my ears with my hands.

“Don’t be such a baby!” she pouts. “It’s obvious we’re gonna have sex since we’ve been dating for-”

“8 months. I know. The whole university knows. Hell, even the barista probably knows! You’re so loud!” I let out a small wail and watch her cheeks grow red.

“Shit, is it that bad?” she laughs, clearly embarrassed about being called out.

“It’s the worst.” I joke. “I told you off about that big mouth of yours before, didn’t I?”

“Well, your brother loves my big mouth, for reference.”

“Bleah, enough about Seungmin. I wanna know how my best friend is doing, not how my brother’s girlfriend is doing.” I hug her side, as we walk into the small cafe near our university.

This is a cosy place we both love and adore, with wooden tables randomly scattered throughout the small room. It's old and probably the same age as our university, but the chipped traffic purple paint just adds to the character of the place, along with the funky orange plastic chairs. No, it doesn’t really match, but it doesn’t matter. Behind the counter is a rack of ridiculous mugs with patterns that if I look at them too long I might go cross-eyed, and on the counter are delicious cakes and pastries. The wooden floor is smooth, as it was redone the first year I started university, and my favourite part of the cafe has to be the big brick fireplace with a ridiculous zebra print rug in front of it. You could always see stressed out students working their asses off on their laptops to finish whichever assignments they’ve received, drinks half finished in front of them.

Cynthia and I never came here to study, though. We simply enjoyed the coffee.

And the barista.

But that’s another story.

“Ahhh, if only he was older!” Cynthia nudges my elbow as we both watch the barista - Felix, I found out from the name tag on his plaided shirt - skilfully draw a heart in my cappuccino. “He’d be a perfect match for you!”

“Stop saying bullshit, girl! What would he think if he heard you?” I laugh a bit, thanking all Gods above that the barista is far enough to not be able to hear our shameless whispering.

“It’s true though! He’s so cute. Wouldn’t you go on a date with him, if he were, let’s say, Minho’s age?”

“Ugh. Please don’t say that name around me, I’m gonna get triggered. And no- for the record, I don’t care that much for relationships or dates at this moment.”

“Here are your drinks! Let me know if I can bring you anything else.” Felix interrupts our conversation and smiles sweetly, carrying a tray with our two coffees and two pieces of strawberry cheesecake to a table more secluded - mine and Cynthia’s usual spot, which even he memorized with how religiously we’ve been visiting this place.

As we both sit there I look at the cake, the one that Felix placed down, and quickly realise it’s not what I ordered. I let out a long exasperated huff. I didn’t need this after the day I’ve had, so I get up and walk over to the counter.

“Felix?” I ask sweetly, just because I’ve had a bad day doesn’t mean I should make his day miserable as well - and it also might be the fact that he’s so addictively sweet that he might give me a toothache; my heart would break if I ever upset him.

“Yeah?” he questions and looks up through his long and thick dark lashes, then his brown eyes trail down to the slice of cheesecake in my hand, “Is everything okay?” I could see the exact moment he realised what was going on as his eyes widened and his hand slapped over his mouth.

I try to hold back a laugh at his reaction, “I think you might have mixed up my order.” I say as I slide my cheesecake on the countertop.

“I’m so sorry, Pearl… I’ll fix it right away.”

I shrug light-heartedly and giggle at his stumbled words, “Felix, it’s fine these things happen.” I try to reassure him.

He nodded and scurried to the tiramisu. I watch as he cuts it while getting the chance to check him out, looking at his long blonde hair half tied up while two strands at the front dangle loosely basically covering his eyes, and the cute black apron adorned on his small waist covering his blue jeans, I think back to what Cynthia said, and I find myself agreeing.

He’s definitely my type, and yes, I would in fact definitely go on a date with him if he wasn’t in his last year of college; 18 is a bit too young for me, I’d feel like a cougar with her toyboy. I’d also look like one. Felix is a total sweetheart and wouldn’t hurt a fly. I’d definitely corrupt him.

Nope!

Never going to happen!

I shouldn’t think so deeply about this, as it’s not an option for me anyway. I’m happily single and listening to Cynthia’s relationship is enough for me to decide that I want to grow old gracefully without kids, and a husband. That way I’ll ensure I don’t go grey early due to the stress - or at least before my time. I won’t be lonely, no, I’ll have a couple of cats, maybe even a dog.

God I can’t wait to retire and I haven’t even started working a full-time job, but thinking about living in a cute cottage with a big garden, maybe even a river going through it, surrounded by cats is definitely the way I want to live and die.

He brings over the slice and a chunk of tiramisu that is way too big, but who am I to complain? I can definitely tackle this piece.

“Pearl, I’m sorry.” He said placing the plate gently into my hands looking very distressed.

I can’t help but feel bad for the poor boy, “Why’d you look so stressed? Had a bad customer earlier?”

He nods, and lets out a big breath, “Exactly that.”

“Don’t worry!” I said with a smile, “I'm not going to shout at ya just because you got it wrong.” I finish my sentence and turn to go back but decide at the last second to tease the boy a bit more. “Or am I?” I wink, before returning to my seat, leaving behind me a very flustered Felix.

When I arrive at the table, Cynthia's eyes are burning holes through me the whole time I’m trying to get comfy in my seat. Firstly, how fucking rude! Secondly, if she wants to say something, she can, “So why are you so triggered about Minho?” I regret thinking that, so deeply.

I throw my head back and sigh, “Oh for fuck sake, can we please not talk about him? I just want to eat my tiramisu in peace” I say, as I throw my hands up in the air.

Cynthia chuckles at me, “God he really got your knickers in a twist this time… common, share. Sharing is caring.” she sings.

I just stare at her for a while thinking if my brain can possibly handle talking about him without spontaneously combusting, “Fine!” I nearly shout and quickly look around embarrassed about how loud that came out, “I just thought I’d escape from his grabby little hands this term, but oh no that didn’t happen! I’ve been seated next to him! Cynthia, I’ve been seated next to him! I swear I must have killed a saint in my past life because the universe is persistent in sodomising me!”

“Or maybe Mercure is in Retrograde!”

“Exactly that!” I fold my arms across my chest and scoff loudly.

“I was obviously joking. You're so dramatic! Minho isn’t even that bad!”

“Yeah, and you're not me.” I bite back but there's no venom to my words.

Cynthia laughs at me as if my problem is the smallest thing in the world, like the universe hasn’t put it’s middle finger up at me, “You know… you and Minho would really-”

My phone rang, cutting Cynthia off and stopping the ridiculous statement from falling out of her mouth, and I can’t be happier.

Literally saved by the bell.

I answer it without looking, which I’m quick to regret. “Yes?”

“Oh, honey!”

Fuck, it's my mum.

“Hi Mum”

“Just quickly, I don’t have long to stay on the phone, we're all having dinner tonight.”

“I have plans.” I respond fast, hoping to get out of the surely uncomfortable situation that was to come. Family dinners are torture.

“8 P.M! Be there, and wear a dress!”

“But Mum-” I start, but get cut off by the sound of dead line on the other side of the phone.

“What’s with the long face?” Cynthia chuckles seeing my dejected figure.

“She always does this shit, I swear!” I complain loudly, grabbing the hot cappuccino from the table and taking a small sip.

“Who, your mum?” she chuckles again, taking a bite of the strawberry cheesecake - I never understood why she likes that sweet mess. Tiramisu is so much better.

“Yes, yes, she wants me to come to dinner. She didn’t even care that I have plans!”

“Do you?” Cynthia raises an eyebrow.

“No, but that’s not the point, Cynth!” I retort. “And you know that cute little date you were supposed to have with Seungmin?”

“Yes, what about it?” she asks in an almost offended tone.

“Boom! Cancelled! Family dinner!” I wave my hands around me dramatically and watch Cynthia’s face drop.

“No way!!! We were supposed to go to the Steak House tonight!” She whines, before noticing a call on her phone “Oop, it’s him!” she squeaks.

“See for yourself,” I respond unimpressed, watching how Cynthia’s usual smiling expression turns into a big frown, as Seungmin probably informs her of the change of plans tonight.

“Fuck, I hate your parents.” she angrily mutters while taking a big sip of her drink, getting a milk moustache which looks comically good on her.

“That makes two of us.” I roll my eyes and we both continue complaining for the rest of the afternoon.

~

8 PM finally rolls around as I’m stumbling, trying to walk in the ankle-length blue pencil dress I decided to wear tonight. It’s a nice dress, very modest but it also shows off my curves delightfully. A beautiful white pearl necklace adorns my throat and matching earrings dangle from my ears, they match the embellished pearls on the dress. The heels are rubbing the back of my feet and are making it even harder to walk down the stairs without the tight dress strangling my legs, the heels are white pointed-toe with a pearl strap dangling around my ankle and a pretty white silk bow at the back.

Going down the grand, bespoke stairs carpeted in a beautiful cream of our house, that face opposite the entrance of the house I walk into the large living room, where the table is nicely put together for 7 people.

Who…?

I wonder, but before I manage to even think about who might be coming for this dinner that’s so important, that mum asked both me and Seungmin to join, she rushes into the room.

“Pearl, the guests are here, come, let’s welcome them! Your Father is already outside!”

“And who might these guests be?” I raise an eyebrow at her.

“You’ll see! Your Father and I have arranged something for you!” Mum smiles brightly while we both rush to the front door to see a fancy looking black Aston Martin roll around the artisanal fountain in our front garden.

The driver quickly gets out and hurries to the back of the car, helping a middle-aged lady that aged gracefully get out.

Oh hell no.

No way.

I hope for a brief second that I’m seeing wrong, that this woman isn’t who I think she is, but when the other car door opens and Minho gets out with a smug smirk on his dumb face, all hope is lost.

“Hye-Jin!” Mum almost shouts, embracing the woman—Minho’s mum—who shares the same excitement to see her.

No fucking way. These sneaky cunts.

I see Minho coming my way dressed in a navy blue tweed three-piece suit white shirt, matching blue tie and trench coat with a big bouquet of bright red roses in his hands, and as he stops in front of me, his smirk changes into a stupidly sweet smile, and I watch as he extends his hand, wrist adorned with a stupidly expensive watch and he hands me the roses.

We fucking match, great!

I want to strangle him with that stupid tie.

“You are very beautiful tonight, Pearl. Blue looks amazing on you, and all the pearls, as expected,” he says, his words and demeanour contradicting each other. It feels more like he is mocking me, rather than complimenting me.

“Oh, my, Minho, what a gentleman!” mum exclaims happily, as they exchange pleasantries.

“What the fuck are you doing in my house?” I whisper furiously and equally just as shocked as I am fuming, walking next to Minho, arms brushing because of the whispering distance, our parents walking towards the dinner table a safe distance away from us.

“I don’t fucking know. Something about a business deal, apparently?” he returns my attitude as we make our way to our seats - directly in front of each other.

Great.

~

“The food was exquisite!” Minho’s mother exclaims happily, her husband agreeing with her while plates are being carried away.

“It’s so nice to have dinner like this, isn’t it, dear?” my mum touches father’s arm gently, looking fondly around the table as me, Seungmin and Minho awkwardly smile at each other.

“Indeed it is. We will soon get used to having these dinners more often, so that’s a relief!” Father chuckles, making me raise an eyebrow.

“Oh, yes! It seems the kids are also getting along well.” Minho’s father replies, taking a sip of the red wine.

“It’s only natural, since they go to the same university. So… it’s about time we let them know of our plans, don’t you think?” my dad chuckles and raises his glass, as if preparing to give a toast.

“Plans?” Minho asks, curiosity in his tone, as he also drinks a bit of wine.

“You’re a fine gentleman, Minho,” my dad starts, before being briefly interrupted by the twat’s father.

I almost laugh. Fine gentleman my ass.

“And Pearl is such a beautiful young lady.” his dad smiles, and I smack Minho’s leg under the table, making him throw me a death glare.

I look into Minho's eyes, hoping to convey that I don’t like where this is going, but instead of seeming to understand, he just hits my leg back, hard. So hard, it’s difficult to keep a straight face and not wince in pain and curse him right then and there.

“We decided… a union between our families would be extremely beneficial. And what better way to do it than marriage? Since both you and Minho are single-”

“No!” I reply a bit too loud for my liking, but desperate times call for desperate measures. “I… I’ve got a boyfriend!”

It’s a poor excuse, I know it is, and I don’t even know how I’m supposed to keep the lie going, especially with Seungmin side-eyeing me to oblivion.

“Oh, is that so?” Minho’s father frowns.

“Y-Yes.” I stutter, feeling Minho’s glare on me.

“But you never told us, Pearl.” Mum frowns as well, disappointed in my answer.

“I think we should just relax and see where this is going.” My father waves his hands around like what I just said was nothing, the twat’s dad agreeing.

I’m speechless. What the fuck?

“After all, we haven’t even met the individual, nor did we approve of any relationship, so… I say the arrangement is still on.”

“But dad-”

“And you can come to dinner with your boyfriend on Saturday, and your mother and I will decide then and there if he even raises to half the potential Minho has.” he cuts me off, the asshole in front of me smirking again like the dumbass he is and poking my leg.

~

Fuck I’m screwed.

How am I going to magically find a boyfriend before Saturday?

I let myself fall dramatically on the bed after taking off the uncomfortable dress and grab my phone, dialling Cynthia’s number.

I look around my room while waiting for her to pick up and I see old photos of us and all my family together. When Seungmin and I were young, did they know they were going to force their daughter into an unwanted marriage then?

“Cynth!” I basically scream when I hear rustling in my ear.

“Pearl? How was the dinner?” She sounded extremely tired.

“Did you just… did I just wake you up? Anyway, that doesn’t matter, I’m getting forced to marry Minho!”

“WHAT? The Lee Minho?” She coughs, “Wait, let me drink some water.”

I roll over onto my stomach, “No, someone else called Minho… Don't be stupid! Obviously, it's Lee Minho!” I roll my eyes, as I scold the girl for her stupidity.

“How?”

“No, no, no, Cynthia, that's not even the biggest part of my problem! The problem is that I said I have a boyfriend and how the fuck am I going to find a boyfriend for Saturday?” I change my position on the bed and sit up leaning my body on the headboard.

Cynthia giggles, “Why did you say that?”

“I panicked!” I practically scream.

She hums and then speaks again, “Just use The Pearls On Your Neck.”

I laugh, “Ha-ha, very funny! To what, strangle him to get out of this arranged marriage?!”

Although I’ve got to say that’s a very good idea.

She nearly screams with laughter, “No silly girl, it’s like a rent a boyfriend app my other stupidly rich friend uses it all the time for her family dinners. It has the same name as you, so it’s easy to remember!”

I pull the phone away from my ear as I can hear aggressive typing and Cynthia’s nails smacking the screen, “There, I just sent it to you! Can I go back to sleep now?”

My phone pings, and I click on the app. 5 stars, looks reliable and the men in the app preview look good, maybe this will work for me.

I press download.

I wait for what seems like forever, you’d think living in such a big house I’d have amazing wifi, but seems not.

I try to set up an account, but the app is confusing as hell.

I stare at the screen for a bit, trying to find the “Sign up” button, and after a while, I finally reach the Personal Data info.

Nickname:

Hmm, what should I add here? Is ‘Pearl’ okay? Or should I maybe go with a fake name?

Nah, what point is there to it? I think, as I type in my first name and shrug.

I’m not going to add a profile pic anyway, so why does it matter?

I put in my location and pick the first person I see, not paying attention to his profile picture, and click on the small ‘Send a message’ bubble next to his name.

Hyunjin sounds pretty. I haven’t heard this name before.

I gather my courage and after a few minutes of writing, deleting, writing and deleting again and again, I finally manage to write him something.

Pearl:

Hello.

Wow, Pearl, could you be more interesting? I roll my eyes at the bland message that took me such a long time to write, and I take a mental note to start texting people more.

I am missing this skill, and it shows.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥 :

Hello! How are you?

Pearl:

Good, thank you. So how do I go about this renting thing? God, I feel so cheap saying that.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Haha it’s fine :).

When are you looking to rent for?

Pearl:

This Saturday. I’ve got a family dinner and I told them I have a boyfriend… but that doesn’t matter, I’ll tell you more about it another day because we’ll have to meet up before so I can get you some clothes and tell you deets.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Yep, I’m free then :)

When would you like to meet up before?

Is there anything you’d like me to wear to our first meet?

I look at the screen, flustered with myself that I’m actually doing this.

How can he be so chill about it?

This is the most obscene thing I’ve ever done apart from interacting with Minho.

Pearl:

Um, no. Just wear whatever you're most comfortable in.

And what about Thursday? 12:30? At Harrods?

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Sounds good to me!

Pearl:

Um, so… how do I pay you?

Sorry, this is so awkward, I’ve never done this before. Ha-ha.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

You don’t have to worry, you’re doing great. :)

To confirm our date a £15 non-refundable deposit is required. Please put your full name as the reference. Please let me know once this has been transferred and it will confirm our date!

Once the payment is received please send me your full name and phone number and I will put our date in my diary!

My bank details are

Mr Hwang Hyunjin

Sort code: 25-03-18

Account number: 23242526

The £15 deposit will be deducted from your payment on the day of our date unless you would like to roll your deposit over to secure all future bookings!

If you would like to cancel our date, a 24hrs notice is required, if your appointment is cancelled under 24hrs your deposit will be lost and a new one will be required if you wish to re-book.

Thank you,

Hyunjin :)

I close the app quickly and smash his banking details into my banking app to quickly transfer. Gosh I’ve never been so desperate in my whole life, but what could go wrong? He seems so professional.

I’m almost surprised and I can't help but wonder how old he is, being this professional, and how many dates he's gone on. I check the bank details for the umpteenth time making sure it’s definitely right.

Pearl:

I’ve sent the deposit, um can I book you all day Saturday just to go over stuff?

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Yes of course and our date has been confirmed!

I can’t wait!

What's your favourite type of flower?

Why does he want to know that?

Pearl:

I don’t know, why?

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Don’t worry about it.

Do you want to spend some time getting to know each other before our first date?

Pearl:

Um no, it's alright, we can get to know each other better Thursday.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Okay, I can’t wait to see you then at 12:30.

Pearl:

Okay, see you then.

I sit up on my bed and feel like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I can finally breathe.

God, this man is good at wording shit. I just hope he’s as good in real life as he is online.

I need to tell Cynthia about this at university tomorrow and try to avoid Minho, the biggest inconvenience in my life, like the plague but that's going to be hard sitting next to him.

I should probably look at Hyunjin’s profile more but that can wait till tomorrow when I see Cynthia, she’ll want to see what he looks like anyway. Yeah, it can wait.

~

“Look who’s here! Slept well, princess?” Minho smirks on his chair, his back balancing on his seat, while his legs are shamelessly stretched out on mine. The gesture bothers me to no end, not because he’s dirtying my chair, but because let’s be real: Lee Minho would never have dirty shoes. You could probably lick the soles of his feet and they’d be cleaner than the whole university, perhaps even than my room, even though I dislike admitting anything positive about this prick.

His presence alone bothers me.

“No, Minho, I slept like shit, if you care that much. Get your feet off my fucking chair, you prick.”

“My, my is that how a daddy's girl should talk?” he raises both his eyebrows at me, making however no attempt to move.

Seeing the audacity of this asshole, I take my small square Valentino bag from my shoulder and smack his feet with it, making him wince in pain.

“I’m not a daddy’s girl, and that’s payback for last night, you twat.” I say through clenched teeth and stare daggers at him, and oh, if only looks could kill.

“What did I do to you last night, huh? Did I give it to you that good? Make it hard for you to walk today? Aww does it hurt?” he asks in a way too loud voice and smirks, making everyone around us turn to watch in surprise at the implication of his words.

This fucking…

At least he took his feet off my seat.

“Stop spewing bullshit. Did you know what our parents were planning?” I question him harshly, implying that he did know.

But he’s quick to defend this misinformation, “Fuck, no, you think I’d ever want to get married to a girl like you?!” He said, giving me a look of disgust.

I gasp at his cringing face, quite offended. I don’t see anything wrong with me, “Uhm, excuse me?! What is that supposed to mean?”

His lips turn into a displeased frown, “What, is it not obvious what a spoiled princess you are? Or are you actually that ignorant?”

I sit down annoyed and scoff. He doesn’t know anything about me, but he seems to have assumed everything I do. I’m pretty sure breathing next to him would send him off on a tantrum.

“Look, Minho, I don’t give a shit what you think about me.” I say unbothered, “You don’t want to get married to me?! Neither do I, it goes both ways, knob-head.” I pull out a small, pink, sparkly compact mirror and my lip tint from the bag and start reapplying a thick layer of the nude shade.

“Glad we’re on the same page, then.” he shrugs. “What’s that thing about you having a boyfriend, anyway?”

“It’s none of your business,” I reply without even glancing at Minho. He’s annoyed me way too much for his own good with the ‘girl like you’ remark.

“It is, if we’re gonna get married.” he shrugs again, making me roll my eyes.

I almost paint lipstick over my face from laughing, is he really that delusional? “But we are not.” I finally look away from the mirror and stare right at him.

“Unless you give our parents a good enough reason, yes we are.”

“How are you so okay with it, anyway, mister ‘I don’t wanna get married to a spoiled princess’?” I wave my arms around, imitating him.

“It’s not that I’m okay with it. I just know better than to go against them or to put myself between them and their damn company. Don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” I sigh.

“It didn’t look like it yesterday night. You don’t say shit like that in front of your dad’s business partners. Shows exactly how selfish you are.”

“Selfish? Selfish? For not wanting to get married out of my parent’s convenience? For a damn business? Is that what selfish looks like to you?” The more I speak, the wider my eyes open.

“No, but it was dumb and selfish to say it right then and there, with us at the same table as you. You should’ve waited until we left at least. It put your parents in a really awkward light, not gonna lie.” He spat. “ inconsiderate arsehole” he tuts.

“No, Minho, what was dumb and selfish was for our parents to put us in that situation. You can be a goody two shoes all you want, but I refuse to be a pawn on my parent’s chess table.”

“Aren’t we all pawns on each other’s tables, anyway? Especially in our world. Why does it matter that you’re on your parents?” he shrugs, his lips turning into a straight line.

“Well, for starters, they didn’t expect Seungmin to marry a random rich girl for the well-being of the company.”

“I’m not a random rich guy, princess. You should know.” He inches his face closer to mine, making me unintentionally blush.

God, how I hate this guy.

I must just be startled, that’s all.

“How could you lie so adamantly at the dinner table, Pearl?” He ridicules me, whispering right in my ear, seemingly aware of the effect he is having on me. Do the goosebumps on my arm give it away?

“I wasn’t lying, Minho.” I turn my head and look straight at him.

“Oh yeah?” He mocks me.

“Yea! As I said, I have a boyfriend, so I won’t get married to you. Should I spell it out?” I raise my eyebrows.

“Then what’s his name?” he asks with a smirk, laying back down on his seat, watching me with amusement in his eyes.

“Hyunjin.” I blurt out in a low tone that comes out more like a whisper.

“You really aren’t lying?” he asks, still unconvinced.

“Of course, I’m not lying. Who lies about stuff like that?” I roll my eyes, avoiding looking at him more. The last thing I’d want is for him to notice that I’m insincere.

“Good luck on Saturday, then.” he shrugs and turns his attention to a game on his phone, as if to pretend I’m not there anymore.

Before I get a chance to reply, the professor walks into the room and another boring ass lecture starts.

~

“Why so sour?” Cynthia hands me an iced coffee she probably just got from the cafe.

“Thanks,” I reply, taking a big deserved sip. “It’s fucking Minho.”

“Fucking Minho? He looks like he fucks well-” she starts, before I playfully slap the back of her head, making her rub the spot I hit and pout.

“Hey! Are looks all there is to it for you? Is that why you’re dating my brother?” I ask annoyed.

“Of course not! Okay, okay, tell me what happened, I give up.” she nudges me.

“He’s such a dick! Ugh, it’s like he’s not bothered at all by this whole marriage thing!”

“Maybe he wants to get married to you? You’re rich, good-looking, hot…”

“Nah, he basically told me he sees me as a spoiled brat and hates the idea of marrying me. He just wants to respect his parents’ wishes.” I take another sip of the drink while Cynthia takes in all the information I just gave her.

“Pfft.” she chuckles. “Spoiled rotten brat? The Lee Minho says that? He must not notice how similar you two are.”

“Similar? Girl, in what world?” I look at her with disgust, but before hearing a dumb answer from her, I decide to change the topic and let her know of my sudden burst of confidence last night. “By the way, I downloaded that app you told me about. The pearl one.”

“No way! Pearls on Your Neck?! Is it for real?!” She squealed.

“You sent it to me before even checking if it’s legit?” I scoff. “Whatever, it is, and I’m having a date on Thursday.”

Cynthia basically jumped me, grabbing my clutch off my shoulder and nicking me with her sharp, white, stiletto nails in the process, “What the fuck are you doing! Ouch! You could of broken skin!” I say rubbing my shoulder, she could have drawn blood!

“Oh shut up, it didn’t hurt,” she brushed me off, completely ignoring my superficial wound and rummaging through my bag, “where’s your bloody phone?”

“It’s in my pocket, idiot.” I say reaching into my jean pocket and waving my phone in her face.

“Show me your rental boyfriend now!” She demands, trying to grab my phone like a child.

This girl is a health and safety issue.

I roll my eyes at her immature behaviour, “God sake Cynthia! Calm the fuck down! Let's sit down first,” I say motioning towards an old wooden bench near the university field.

I finally get to sit down from walking all the way from class, I finally get to enjoy this break. It’s peaceful here without Minho, who is my own personal thorn in my side.

I take a big sip of my iced coffee and sigh contently, it’s sugary and sweet. It tastes so good, it's like it's dancing on my taste buds. I feel like Ratatouille in that one scene when he eats cheese and strawberry at the same time.

“So?” It was peaceful until I got reminded about the other thorn in my side whom I actually like.

I side-eye the girl and I didn't even realise she was so close to me, “yes, Cynthia?”

She clicks her tongue, “Pearl, you're hopless! What were we talking about a second ago?!” she analyses my baffled face and huffs, “ Does your rental boyfriend ring any bells?” She says, sarcasm laced in her voice.

“Oh yeah!”

She tuts disapprovingly, “Sometimes I wonder how you’ve survived this long,”andsnatches my phone out of my hands. “Give me that” She looks at me a second longer and raises a threatening hand, “Useless girl.”

I can’t help but laugh at her, “His name is Hyunjin… I don’t really remember what he looks like, I kinda panicked and picked the first profile I saw” I shrug halfheartedly.

She opens my phone and locates the app, scrolling through until she finds him, or that's what I assume since she yawps so loudly, making me jump, “Pearl, are you serious? How could you not remember what he looks like?” She says shoving my phone in my face.

Shit, yeah how could I forget what he looks like?

He looks like a model. Four pictures are attached to his profile, his hair is long and blonde; it just tickles his shoulders and in one of the pictures it reaches his collarbones. His eyebrows are thick and well-maintained; any girl would kill for those eyebrows. Thick lips and a sharp jawline as well… is this man even real?

“Cynthia! I think I’ve been scammed!” I cry, putting my iced coffee on the gravel floor, “He can’t be real… like he can’t be on this app, right?”

I look again at the pictures, I look at his long neck and proportionate head on top of a broad pair of shoulders. He looks tall, really tall, not too skinny either but not too muscular.

Cynthia lets out a hearty laugh, “I don't think you’ve been scammed, look here,” she points to a tick beside his name, “It says all profiles are checked for legitimacy.”

I’m never one to be speechless and that is saying something. How…why is he on an app like that?

“Pearl, what's he like? Did you stay up all night messaging?” She is far too eager for my liking.

“You know he’s not actually my boyfriend, right?”

She’s still staring at my phone in her hand, “So… you're saying you don’t know anything about him?” She says tilting her head.

I nod, “Well he asked if I wanted to get to know each other better, but I just said that we can do that Thursday when we go to pick out his clothes for the dinner and stuff.”

“How many times do I have to repeat myself today? You. Are. Useless.” she spoke, poking me in the forehead.

“What was I supposed to do?” I bark trying to defend my corner.

“Um… try to get to know the guy, obviously.” she rolls her eyes at me, “You never know, maybe he’ll turn into your real boyfriend… omg you two would have such good-looking kids, not as good-looking as mine and Seungmin’s though.” She’s really ahead of herself.

“Fucking hell do you want to arrange my second marriage?” I snatch my phone from her hand, “Cynth, don’t get too ahead of yourself, it’s his job. Obviously, he can’t actually date clients. That would be illogical, there's probably some ‘how to be a rental boyfriend rule book’ they have to follow.”

“Pff, whatever you say… there’s no point not to try though?” She says smiling and nudging me in the ribs.

“It seems like you've completely forgotten who you're talking to, am I even your best friend?” I look at her seriously, “What’s my end-of-life goal?”

I watch her as she raises her hand to her temple and starts massaging it, “Oh yeah how could I forget that my best friend wants to be a lonely old hag surrounded by feral creatures and die alone.”

“Cats are not feral creatures” I defend bringing my hands up to quote her, “They are amazing companions, unlike children and husbands. I can already see a few grey hairs you’ve gained from being with Seungmin” I tease.

“Really?!”

“Obviously not.” I deadpan.

“But Pearl, I don't want my best friend to grow old without children, don't you want to take our kids on cute play dates?”

“I can bring my cat to play with your child, if it’s anything like you it will be feral enough to maybe… even communicate with it!” I laugh at my own joke.

“Whatever” she mumbles.

I look around and see couples sat on the field together and I can’t lie and say it doesn’t look nice. I can’t lie and say I don't want someone to have love me for me, but unconditional love is hard to find in this day and age, it’s not that it's impossible. It’s just something that’s so rare to find, you're probably going to get struck by lightning before you find it. I can understand that couples can have quarrels, but I can’t deal with that conflict. I mean, I can barely take it from Minho and I absolutely despise him. I don’t want to imagine fighting with someone I love. Love drives people crazy and I do not want to be one of them people.

Cats would never hurt me or make me wonder and I'm untroubled with the little life I envision for myself when I'm old. Hyunjin may be undeniably attractive but it would never work, hell, I've never even met him. I don't even know what he’s like, he could be another conceited, vain, narcissistic, prick like Minho. I shudder at the thought.

It’s definitely time to go home, I meet Hyunjin tomorrow and I need my beauty sleep.

“Cynth, I need to go home, will you please help me get ready tomorrow?” I say sweetly and batting my eyelashes at her.

She jumps up excitedly, “Of course I will! You know I love that stuff! You're going to be my own personal Barbie doll tomorrow!” She sings.

I internally sigh knowing what I have gotten myself into.

Once I get home I get changed into my pink stripey PJs and throw myself into my bed, and fall asleep thinking about tomorrow.

---

Part Two

[gogogodzilla]

𝙹𝚊𝚗𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝟻, 𝟸𝟶𝟹𝟸, 𝙰𝙼 𝟶𝟽:𝟹𝟻:𝟶𝟺

Summary: You and Gavin find much-needed respite in a dingy diner masterlist ✩ ao3 ✩ wattpad ✩ previous chapter ✩ next chapter ✩

The hum of the car’s engine is the only thing that cuts through the silence, both you and Gavin entangled in your thoughts. The sun slowly rises above the horizon, bathing everything in an early morning light. You glance out the window, watching as the city begins to awaken. 

Gavin’s gaze shifts from the road to you and then back again. He clears his throat and you spare a glance in his direction. “Y’know, we have some time before we need to be at Cyberlife,” he says, and you could’ve sworn there was a nervous jilt in his tone. “How about we grab some breakfast? I know a diner around here that makes a mean stack of pancakes,” he suggests as he looks at you. 

You meet his gaze, surprised. “Breakfast? Now?” 

“Cyberlife isn’t going anywhere, sweetheart. Besides, I doubt anyone you’d wanna talk to is going to be in the office this early,” he mentions. 

You consider his suggestion, and your stomach rumbles in response, reminding you of your meager breakfast consisting of only coffee. 

“Alright, Reed. Breakfast it is,” you agree. You can’t help the grin that forces its way onto your features. 

He takes a left at the next intersection and pulls up to a quaint diner you’ve seen thousands of times on your way to the precinct. The parking lot is littered with various cars and the stray police cruiser. 

Gavin leads the way into the diner, and you inhale deeply as you enter. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and sizzling bacon fills the air, and your stomach rumbles in response. 

Inside, the diner is cozy and feels like it’s been around longer than you’ve been alive. Red vinyl booths line the walls and a long counter with bar stools spaced evenly a part greets you as soon as you enter. A sign near the door directs you to seat yourself, and Gavin leads you to a booth in the corner. You slide into the booth and Gavin follows, sliding in across from you. He hands you a menu, and you eagerly take in your options. 

A young waitress with a pretty smile approaches your booth with a grin. “Officer Reed, long time no see,” she teases as she pulls out her notepad. 

Gavin shrugs, a hint of a smile gracing his features. “Been a bit busy lately, you know how it is,” he answers. 

“Well, we miss you in the mornings,” she says softly. There’s something more behind her gaze that you can’t quite place, and Gavin shifts in his seat. His gaze flicks to you for a moment before returning to the waitress. 

He clears his throat, “We’ll just have two coffees to start.” 

The waitress’s eyes shift between the two of you before she nods. Her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. 

“Coming right up,” she says before walking away. 

You can’t tear your gaze away from Gavin, and a flicker of something indescribable stirs in your chest. Gavin’s attention shifts back to you, and a grin spreads on his face as he catches the look on your face. 

“It’s rude to stare, sweetheart,” he teases, calling back to your first meeting. 

You force yourself to look away and instead take in the scenery, which isn’t much. The sounds of clinking cutlery and hushed conversations fill your ears. A few officers linger at the counter, sipping their coffees and talking amongst themselves. You attempt to place some of their faces, but your mind is elsewhere. 

“I didn’t know you were so popular with waitresses,” you mention, attempting to appear nonchalant before meeting Gavin’s eyes. 

He laughs— a gentle chuckle that makes your stomach do backflips. His lips quirk up into a grin, “Jealous?” 

You narrow your eyes, “Hardly. I’m just surprised someone is so eager to be in your presence.” 

The waitress returns with your coffee, and as she sets the steaming mugs down she keeps her attention planted firmly on Gavin. “Ready to order?” she asks as she takes out her notepad once again. 

You jump in before Gavin can answer. “I’ll have the pancakes with a side of home fries, please,” you request as you hold out the menu for her to take. 

The waitress gives you a tight-lipped smile as she meets your eye for the first time since you’ve arrived, and she takes your menu. 

“I’ll have the same,” Gavin adds as he holds out his menu as well. She nods and gives Gavin one last lingering look before heading toward the kitchen.  

You sipped your coffee as a comfortable silence drifted over the two of you. Gavin’s eyes land on you once again, and you raise a brow. 

“So, what’s your story?” 

You tilt your head to the side, “My story?” 

He rolls his eyes, “We’ve been working together for, what, two months now, and I hardly know anything about you.”

You pause for a moment, trying to parse through your memories for anything of interest. 

“Well, I’m an only child, my mom’s a realtor, my dad’s an accountant—“

“No, no, no, sweetheart. That’s boring, tell me something good,” Gavin cuts you off. 

You scoff, “Something good? Like what?” 

He’s quiet for a moment as he attempts to think of something. Early morning sunlight drifts through the window next to you, bathing the two of you in a soft glow. The sunlight catches the angles of his face, highlighting the stubble beginning to form and softening the usual sharpness that lingered over his features. He almost looks relaxed. 

Finally, Gavin speaks up. “What made you want to work at Cyberlife?” 

You cringe, “Nope, ask me something else.” 

Gavin rolls his eyes, “That’s literally the most basic question I could ask.” 

You sigh as your cheeks heat up as the real reason your fascination with androids developed crosses your mind. 

“I was interested in human behavior during my college years, and I applied that interest to androids when they became more popular. I eventually ended up writing my thesis on how androids could be successfully integrated into the field of psychology, focusing on forensic psychology. I was lucky that my supervisor recommended me for the position at Cyberlife, and now here I am.” 

“That’s how you came to work at Cyberlife, not why,” Gavin notes as he takes a sip of his coffee. 

In truth, you had a fascination with Elijah Kamski during your early 20s, and your interest in androids developed a bit later.

You shrug, “I wanted to get away from home, I guess. All my life, I’ve been defined by my parent’s accomplishments. Just once, I wanted something to be mine.” 

Gavin nods, “I joined the force for the same reasons. It’s hard living in someone else’s shadow.” 

“So, you didn’t become an officer because you wanted to help people?” you tease. 

Gavin snorts and his retort is cut off by the arrival of your food. The waitress sets down your plates and looks between the two of you.

“Is there anything else I can get you?” Her question is mostly pointed toward Gavin, but you don’t mind. 

“Nope, we’re all set. Thanks,” Gavin answers, but his attention is already drawn back to you. 

A few minutes of comfortable silence pass as you dig into your breakfast. Gavin’s right— the pancakes are amazing. 

You set your fork down and look at Gavin. “Can I ask you something?” 

He raises his brows but nods for you to continue. 

“Why did you talk to me the first night we met? Curiosity? To make fun of me?”

Gavin sets down his fork and leans back in his seat. “I was mostly curious what someone like you was doing in a place like that,” he says, grinning a little as he answers. 

“You mean someone who looked like a fish out of water?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “You were… pretty. Plus, you were dressed better than most of the folks in there.” 

Your heart fluttered in your chest, and you tried to ignore the heat creeping up your cheeks at his compliment. 

You look down at your coffee, fighting a grin. 

 “I’m glad we met that night, even if it resulted in a hangover.” 

Gavin laughs, a deep, infectious sound that you want to hear over and over again. He leans back against the booth, his eyes crinkling in the corners. 

“Same here, sweetheart.”

[cricket-reader]

His Everything

Masterlist | A03 | Wattpad | Recommendations | Inbox

Summary: Peter freaks out when you don’t answer his calls. He finds you handcuffed to a chair as Spider-Man. You tell him things afterwards, making Peter question how good of a boyfriend he really is.

Warnings: language, torture, kidnapping, mentions of death, crying

Word Count: 1480

Prompt: "It's not as bad as it looks.” Handcuffs | Swelling | Flinch

A/N: Day 5 of June of Doom by @juneofdoom (Set after NWH but no spoilers)

Your wrists throbbed within the unforgiving grip of the handcuffs, their weight a constant reminder of your vulnerability. The swelling around your wrists made every movement an agonizing ordeal. As you tugged against the restraints, a muffled whimper escaped your lips.

You had been taken whilst on a walk. While you wished you could have been more prepared or maybe wished you had seen it coming, nothing could change the fact that it was so sudden. Unlike in the books you had read, you didn’t have any sort of premonition that warned you against going out for that walk. There were no warning signs or red flags blatantly obvious. It had happened without any sort of warning. One moment you were casually strolling through the streets of New York, next you were being knocked unconscious by a man wearing all black in the middle of the day.

How someone didn’t see the spectacle go down baffled you. Perhaps they did see it; they just didn’t get involved. That was a thing you learned in your psychology class: the bystander effect. Only now were you fully realising how shitty it was.

So there you were, sitting in a damp, musty cell with no hope of rescue. You hoped that maybe your boyfriend would notice your absence and call the police once he couldn’t get ahold of you. But you knew he’d probably think that you were just busy or didn’t want to talk. He knew that school got tough sometimes, so he never blamed you if you couldn’t talk to him. Hence it would probably take a long time for anyone to find you.

You flinched as the door opened, wishing that the ground would swallow you whole. You didn’t want to die, not with Peter waiting for you at his house. He was such a good person and he didn’t deserve to worry about some nobody like you as you knew he would. Sometimes he was too good for his own good. Something you didn’t know the full weight of quite yet.

“I hear you’re close to Spider-Man,” the captor said, an ugly sneer on his face.

Brows furrowed, you replied, “I’ve never even met him once. He has never saved me or anything.”

“You’re lying.”

“I swear I’m not lying!”

“Bullshit.”

You tried to press yourself further into your chair when he approached you. Your gut was turning and breaths were short. Who is this crazy man and what does he want with you?

Your head is snapped to the side as the back of his hand makes contact with your face. Two marks on your face start bleeding where his bulky rings had hit you. “You better start talking.”

“I don’t know anything, I swear!”

He scoffed as he geared up for a punch. His fist hit you near your right rib cage. You doubled over and groaned. He had a mean swing. Those stupid rings weren’t helping any.

He grabbed you by the hair and yanked your head back up. You cried out, hoping maybe someone would hear you. His fist began driving itself to your body, anywhere he could reach. Your screams and cries did nothing to make him stop, if anything, it only made the twisted man continue his relentless abuse.

Just when you were sure that you could take no more, the glass window to the room shattered. You screamed, and you weren’t sure if it was from the terror or from the last blow he delivered to your stomach.

In an instant, white webs were flown across the room. Guards and your tormentor were wrapped up in the all too familiar spidery substance you had seen on the news. In all your years, you never thought you’d be able to meet a superhero. You just wish it was on better terms.

Spider-Man rushed to your aid, calling out your name in an anguished voice that sounded a bit familiar. Your head drooped, exhaustion tearing you down. You could hear Spider-Man talking to you, telling you everything was going to be okay. You saw him reach for the phone, presumably to call for help.

You grabbed his wrist, not caring that the handcuffs were digging further into your skin. With a weak voice, you muttered, “no ambulance, just take me to the hospital.”

You saw his big white eyes narrow. “I can’t afford an ambulance. Hell, I’ll barely afford the medical bill,” you chucked at your own expense, stopping immediately because it hurt too bad. “If you don’t want to bring me call my boyfriend. He’ll pick me up.”

The hero’s eyes widened again and he rapidly shook his head. “No, no, I can get you to the hospital.”

He searched the man’s pockets, trying to find a key for those pesky handcuffs. He was unsuccessful. Sighing, he decided he’d just have to break them. There was no time to waste. You could be seriously hurt.

When the handcuffs were removed from your wrists, you practically cried out in joy. You rubbed your swollen wrists, wincing at how tender whey were.

“Let’s get you outta here, yeah?” Spider-Man muttered as he helped you up. You limped alongside him down the stairs to the street.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” You had asked him. He seemed so familiar. His eyes widened.

“You’ve uh… probably seen me before, y’know… as Spider-Man,” he stumbled over his words. You almost laughed at how he tried to make his voice sound deeper. It was adorable. It reminded you of something that Peter would do.

You gasped, “Peter!”

Spider-Man’s head whipped towards you. “I have to tell him I’m okay, that’s my boyfriend. He might be worried about me.”

“We can call him when you get to the hospital okay?” Spider-Man gently told her as they got in a cab that he had hailed down. Peter told him to drive to the nearest hospital as fast as he could.

“Okay, sure… I’m sure he probably hasn’t noticed anyway. Y’know I was goin’ over to his apartment to surprise him. He’s been workin’ so hard on school and I jus’ wanted to make him feel better. He’s been so stressed lately.” You pouted. “Now I s’pose he’s gonna be even more stressed.”

Tears came to your eyes. You wished you could say it was all from the pain, but a part of you knew that you were sad that your boyfriend would only have more on his plate with you in the hospital.

“Y‘know what… maybe I shouldn’t call him. I don’ wanna burden him any more than he already is.”

Underneath the mask, Peter was crying. He couldn’t respond to you. He knew that you’d pick up on the wobble of his voice if he tried. How could you think such things? You were the most important thing in his life. More important than his classes, more important than his Spider-Man duties. You were his everything.

How could his everything think that she was a burden? It pained his heart to know that you thought that way.

Clearing his throat, he said “I think you should tell him. He’s probably worried out of his mind right now.” He wasn’t wrong. Peter was scared shitless. You never opened up like this to strangers and your head was lolling onto his shoulder.

“C’mon, stay with me, baby. Don’t do this to me!” He pleaded. He couldn’t let someone else leave him. He couldn’t watch another important person in his life die. He didn’t want you to join the list of loved ones he had lost.

Peter didn’t even care that you or the cab driver knew he was crying now. He had every right to cry when the girl he loved was falling into unconsciousness.

“C’mon, baby. Be strong for me, yeah? I know you can do it. You’re so strong.”

Those were the last words you were able to hear before you blacked out.

Upon waking up, you saw your red-eyed boyfriend hunched over in a nearby seat. “Peter?” Your voice came out groggy and dry, but it got his attention. He cried out your name as he ran to your side. Tears were falling from his eyes as he held your hand and called for the nurse.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay, Peter. It's not as bad as it looks. I’m fine really.”

Truthfully you didn’t feel much pain, but that was probably the drugs they had you hooked up on.

“Please don’t leave me, please. I love you too much. Please don’t leave,” he pleaded, like a broken record. You knew your boyfriend had abandonment issues, but you’d never really seen them as bad as in that moment. “It’s okay, Peter. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re my everything you know that?”

You just nodded and rubbed your thumb over his hand. “I know, baby. I know.”

[nriacc]

I Wanna Be Yours | NRIACC: Alex’s Ending |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

Written by @imagine-that-100​​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 25.2k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Hey besties! I can’t believe this is it. We actually got to the end! Thank you so so so much for sticking with me whilst I got this fic out, I am truly so so happy that people are still reading almost 2 years after I posted the first part. It really is mindblowing to me. I’ve got a few people I need to thank, dot for helping me plan a lot of the fic and for helping write chap 8, @murderousginger​ and @sunsetinmyvein​ for editing for me. A really really big thank you is going to @red---moon​ and @alovesreading​, I genuinely don’t think this fic would have ever got finished if I didn’t have you two for me to mindlessly rant to about it and giving me ideas and keeping me motivated (Red also gave me the idea for the arielle stuff back on the AM tour and A gave me the idea of the whole pauline storyline so you can blame them for that loolllll love you both). To the rest of you, the ones who have been reading for a longgg time, you deserve a medal, your asks and reactions have really kept me going so thank you so so so much, and if you’ve recently had a binge I really hope you enjoyed the rollercoaster of a fic. NRIACC really feels like my baby and I’m never going to write a mashup of worlds like this again, so thank you all so so much for reading and enjoying it. I'll be forever grateful for the love you’ve shown it. Now, I’ve kept you waiting long enough, I really hope you enjoy Wheels and her man's happy ending. Love you lots and enjoy x

Please let me know | Here | who’s ending you’re all choosing! (It’s all anonymous)

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

~*~*~*~ June 2020 ~*~*~*~

That night Alex came to get you was a turning point for you. You found this new way of living extremely less difficult with your best friend by your side.

When he got to your flat that night, he held you whilst you cried and he didn’t let you go until your tears dried up and he got you smiling again. You're sure it was the relief to be back in his arms that made you get more upset when he arrived.

It must have been the silent longing for him for those 3 months alone that had you not wanting to let go of him. It was a miracle you released him so he could help you pack up a few of your things to take to Alex’s house with you.

Your best friend assured you that you could both come back and grab more of your stuff at a later date but he wanted to get you back to his house so you could be comfortable. And that night he remembers you clutching him so tightly when he practically carried you into his bedroom and you held him even in your sleep.

That was the only night you slept in his bed, but you did have a lot of quiet cuddles every day where you just held him close and didn’t let him go. The only time you left him alone was when you both went to bed and even then Alex was sure that you weren’t having an easy time trying to sleep.

At the start you were quieter and you didn’t smile anywhere near as much as Alex was used to. You spent a lot of time sleeping or just lying in bed staring into space and it worried Alex so much, he ended up doing what you once did to him. He made you go on a walk with him.

Your best friend wouldn’t tell you where you were going and he found it amusing as you tried your best to pry it out of him but he refused. But your afternoon out in the boiling sun turned out to be one of your favourite days this year.

Alex took the both of you into his local shop so you could both get a meal deal and a few snacks and treats before he walked you to a specific spot in his local park. And he was right in thinking you’d love it. Your face lit up when you saw the huge cherry blossom tree and the both of you had your impromptu picnic underneath it before spending the next few hours there.

You finally got your smile back that day and Alex was so thankful to see it. And since he had seen a slow but steady improvement in you every day.

The morning after your picnic, Alex came downstairs to find you sitting at the dining room table and you were drawing again. Nothing had ever warmed his heart more, and he didn’t want to distract you at all so all he did was quickly go to the kitchen and make you a cup of coffee.

When he brought it to you, he placed a kiss on the back of your head and he sat down beside you and watched you work. He was so enamoured by you, he could have carried on watching you for hours, but instead he went and made the both of you a nice breakfast.

And since then, you always started your morning that way. You finally got your spark back and you started to feel so much better in yourself, and you owed that all to Alex.

Days were happier and somehow easier for you in this weird time of self isolation but when you snuggled into your best friend's arms every night whilst you watched a film on the settee, you knew you’d be okay. You’d always be okay as long as Alex was there to comfort you.

~*~*~*~

Since you actually got inspired to be creative again, you and Alex ventured back to your flat to grab a few of your painting and drawing stuff and you’ve been feeling more like your old self again. And now a few weeks have passed, you’ve almost run out of room with how much stuff you’ve been making, you’re definitely going to have to make a trip back to your flat to leave some stuff there so Alex can have his house back.

Not that you intend to leave because you really don’t. You don’t want to be anywhere else than by your best friend's side.

You think that in the last few weeks, you and Alex have been closer than you ever have been, in a platonic way anyway. Although, your feelings towards him really aren’t all that platonic anymore.

There had been a lot of flirty banter between the two of you since you started living together, and each time it happened it left you with the feeling of butterflies in your stomach and your cheeks heating up. You always tried to bite your cheek to stop yourself from smiling like a fucking idiot when he flirts with you.

It sometimes makes it difficult if you’re cuddling on the settee under the same blanket because all you want to do is hide under it and grin like a lunatic. But you can’t because you don’t want him to know just how much he affects you.

And the only reason you didn’t want to put it all out in the open was because you were worried about what Alex would think. You weren’t sure if he was flirting with you because that's just how the two of you act around each other or because he is actively flirting.

So you’d kept your feelings to yourself for a while in hopes that you’d get some sort of sign. But last night when you got in the bed in his guest room instead of creeping into Alex’s like you so desperately want to, you decided you’d tell your best friend at some point the next day.

The both of you had let yourselves lose your brief moments in time together because you didn’t communicate properly. And you’re grown up enough now not to let that happen again. So you decided in bed that you were going to tell your best friend about your feelings for him.

And when you woke up this morning, knowing that at some point today you were going to tell him made you feel lighter somehow. Yes you’re nervous, but if worse comes to worst and he actually doesn’t like you that way anymore at least you’ve told your truth. And you’ll live the rest of your life knowing you did give it one last shot.

The hardest part of today has been not knowing when to bring it up, because you can’t really just say it out of the blue. It didn’t feel right. You didn’t want it to be an ‘i need to talk to you moment’, you wanted it to be an anxious free and healthy reveal of something instead of causing him to get anxious and possibly awkward with you.

But it looks like you might have to resort to that, because no conversation has taken any of that direction today. Alex has been reading for most of the day and you decided to paint some more as the both of you listened to music. Nothing sparked that sort of conversation though even over dinner so you just tried to stay calm and positive about it.

Now it’s the evening though and both of you got so wrapped up in your little words that you’d missed tea and it was too late for you to cook. So, you ordered yourselves a take out so you could chill out whilst you watched Glastonbury reruns, as the festival was obviously cancelled this year.

You watched Adele’s the night before and you both really enjoyed that. And now, after you both finished your food, you’re sitting next to each other as you polish off a bottle of wine between you, all while singing along and having a blast.

You’d just finished watching David Bowie's set from 2000 and you’d been waiting for Ed Sheeran’s headline set to start, and when it did you were both enthralled.

You have your legs over Alex’s lap and you're both resting your heads back against the settee aimlessly watching Ed’s magic that he makes on guitar. And your heart is warm by the way Alex's hand keeps running soothingly up and down your legs.

Ed has just finished his medley of songs and it’s so fucking amazing to you how he does all of what he does on a guitar and his loop pedals.

“God, he’s so amazing.” You say as your shiver slightly hearing the applause. “I’ve got proper goosebumps watching him.”

“Not you again with the goosebumps.” Alex chuckles a little and shakes his head.

“Look at my arms.” You smile and show him your arm which like you said, your skin is raised and full of goosebumps.

“You need to get a grip.” Alex smiles playfully and shoves your arm back.

You fake a frown and tell your best friend in half a giggle, “Don’t be nasty. I was like that for both of your sets.”

“Mmmm,” Alex thinks about it for a moment but ultimately he shakes his head, “Don’t believe you.”

“Well you know what Alex, I couldn’t just interrupt your set by running on stage to show you.” You laugh and you love the way he grins back at you. You also add, “And if they put your full one on from 2013 on iPlayer I would show you, but no BBC are dickheads.”

“Yeah, well,” Your best friend chuckles but defends, “I can't really say much, they have given us a pretty good platform in the past.”

“You're allowed to slag people off in private Alex, who am I gunna tell?” You grin, paying attention to only his bright eyes and his goofy smile.

Your best friend laughs, “Alright, alright.”

The both of you start watching the performance again and Ed’s just started singing Photograph which is one of your favourites. You both listen for a while but when it gets to the chorus you shiver again hearing everyone in the crowd sing the lyrics back to him.

And you can’t stop the question from leaving your lips to the man next to you who knows exactly what it’s like.

“Is there any way to describe that feeling?” You have to ask, because you remember being astounded hearing the crowd singing back to Alex at his Glastonbury. “Or is it as magical as it looks?”

You tilt your head to the side to look at him. Alex takes a deep breath as he thinks back to it and you watch him patiently as he finds his words.

“It's the best experience ever.” Alex looks at you and tells you honestly, “Nothing like it and I don’t think anything could ever beat it.”

You smile at that and it warms your heart.

“I’m so proud of you.” You quietly say, grabbing his hand that lay unmoving on your thigh

“Only just now?” Alex teases, lacing your fingers together.

You playfully glare at him then and nudge him, correcting him, “You know I’ve always been proud of you.”

Alex tries to hide his smile but he fails miserably and nods, “Yeah, I do.”

Instead of paying attention to the TV, you look at each other with smiles on your faces and you end up watching each other like that for a short while.

But then the both of you feel it. That pull between you again. The one that’s been happening every night you’ve been cuddled together. Or when the both of you are cooking together. Or go out on walks together. There’s always that spark and that pull between you, but this time you can’t ignore it.

You're both just listening to the music in the background and enjoying your view of the others resting on the settee looking into beautiful eyes.

You close your eyes and release a breath which Alex watches you do. He can’t help but think it’s like you’re mentally preparing yourself for something.

Your eyes open back up and you bite your lip for a second before almost whispering “Can I kiss you?”

That isn’t what Alex was expecting you to say at all. But he doesn’t hesitate like the first time you’d ever asked him that question, instead he just nods and watches you closely.

You pick your head up from the settee and slowly move towards him before you attach your lips to his. Despite your lips tingling the second they touch his, you know that this is just something to test the waters for a few seconds.

You can tell Alex isn’t really putting himself forward for it which you understand. He wants to see how you'd react to it.

The kiss starts slow as you really don't want to rush it at all. You aren’t after what you were last year. You’re so far past the need for him in just that sense. You just want to see if there truly is still a connection between you.

You need to know if it’s just your mind playing tricks on you or if it’s actually real feelings towards him. And from the way your heart is rapidly beating in your chest, you can tell they are genuine feelings.

Alex kisses you back with as much enthusiasm as you give, but he makes a conscious effort not to pull you to him when he’s wanting more. He needs you to direct this, for his own clarity.

And he’s thankful you are doing, because you cup the side of his face and pull him closer to you as you deepen the kiss. You feel like you’re trying to get all of your emotions out in this kiss, like you’re trying to tell him something without actually telling him.

And Alex definitely is reciprocating. After a few minutes, both of your breathing becomes laboured. You’re both so into it that it shocks you when Alex pulls away, both of you breathing hard and hearts beating rapidly.

Alex’s brain is going haywire, he’s surprised you can’t hear it screaming at him. But his biggest insecurity is the first thing that comes out of his mouth.

Your best friend runs a hand through his hair as he looks like he’s fighting with his own mind when he looks into your eyes and says quietly, “I can’t do this if you’re gunna go back to him.

You shake your head, your chest sinking at the mere thought that Alex would even think that. But at the same time you understand, so you don’t hesitate to assure him.

“I don’t want him like that,” You promise him, as you really haven’t thought about Matty like that for a long time. “He’s just my best friend.”

Alex looks stressed as he reminds you, “I’m just your best friend.”

“No,” You state simply, “You’re not.”

And he hasn’t been for a long time. There’s always been that ache in your chest that has you wanting something more with Alex. And you wish you could let him feel exactly what you’re feeling to show him.

Your best friend is clearly shocked and he almost looks like he’s trying to wake himself up from a dream. He can’t believe his ears or believe that you just kissed him again.

“I can’t do this if it’s only a one night thing either. Don’t get me wrong, last time was amazing but we shouldn’t have done it. It just made me more attached.” Alex rambles on, getting all of his thoughts and feelings out into the open. “I don’t want you as some now and again girl. That’s not what you are to me.”

“I like you Al. A lot.” You cup his face to try and ground him to the moment and you smile as you spill your truth, “Like you hurt to think about. And even after everything I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your best friend loses his breath when he hears you say that. And he can’t help but repeat what he thinks he heard you say, “You like me?”

“Yeah.” You nod.

Alex looks like he wants to cry when he quietly asks you, “You like me how I like you?”

“I’m fairly certain that I love you Alex.” You grin, putting it all out there for him.

Some mixture of relief and shock floods Alex’s whole system then and you see it hit him. He holds his breath for a few seconds and he has to close his eyes and he’s holding your hand so tightly, you don’t even think he’s aware he has a hold of you.

When you see those beautiful brown eyes of his again a second later, you see him try and fail to find his words as emotions run through him. But then you see his lips turn up into a smile and he begins to stutter, “I- I, wow. I l-“

And you know what he’s about to say but you quickly put your finger over his lips to stop him.

“If you're about to say it because I just have, please don’t. Save it until you mean it, until you really want to say it.” You smile, but it’s like you’ve just got everything off your chest, you feel free saying them out loud, “I just can’t hold it anymore, I’m sick of hiding it now.”

Alex chuckles and you’re sure his eyes are getting a little watery but you can’t tell if it’s just pure and utter joy and elation that’s making him look like that. He takes another few deep breaths and it’s as if his throat has choked up and he’s trying not to cry.

You realise that’s exactly the case when he quietly asks you with a strained voice, “Me? Are you sure?”

You grin and nod, “It's always been you, Alex.”

You briefly see your best friends smile before your lips are brought down to meet it. Both of you can’t really stop smiling as you kiss each other, which is funny and cute all at the same time. You feel like you could burst with the happiness that you’re feeling, but the fact that Alex is kissing you like you could disappear at any moment, makes you think that he might not be fully believing it's happening.

The past is clearly playing on his mind, because when you pull away from the sweet kiss he lets those final insecurities out.

“How can you possibly want something with me after everything I’ve said and done?” He asks you after you pull away.

He’s still emotional, you can see it and hear it in his voice and you want nothing more than to ease his worries. You’ll do everything in your power to show him just how serious you are though, and you’ll happily spend the rest of your life doing it if he wants the same.

“A relationship is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. And I’m not ready to give up on you Al.” You smile as you gently stroke his cheek, “I won’t ever give up on you if you won’t give up on me.”

Alex smiles at that, and he moves his head to the side to kiss your palm before he says a quiet, “Never.” and that has you melting.

“This is it for me.” You promise him, “If you want this, I’m all in. I’m all yours. I’m going to marry you one day.”

Your smile is practically lighting up the whole room for Alex. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen you so happy and he can’t believe that he’s the cause of it. Alex smiles and chuckles in disbelief, he’s still not fully sure he’s not dreaming. But he just has to ask you one last time, “Are you sure you want this?”

“More than anything.” You nod, giving him the briefest kiss before you tell him again, “I love you.”

Alex grins at that but then he brings his hands up to hide his face and he whispers, “I think I’m going to cry.”

You chuckle, “Don’t cry.” as you pull his hands down so you can see his handsome face again, but when you do you see there’s actual tears in his eyes. “Darling don't cry…” but then he closes his eyes so you can’t see so you tell him, “Shakespeare, look at me.”

When he opens his gorgeous eyes again, you see that they have fully teared up now which makes you want to cry too. “No, stop with the tears, you’ll get me going.”

“All I’ve wanted for so long was to hear you say that you love me.” Alex’s voice cracks at the end of that and he barely gets out, “And you just said it.”

You nod, “Yeah, I did,”

He must tune back into your surroundings for a second because he then gestures towards the TV and laughs as he shakes his head, “And Ed fucking Sheeran is on in the background.”

You giggle at this, nodding as you realise that the end of him playing Nancy Mulligan is on in the background. This really isn’t how you imagined this moment playing out at all, but you’re so happy, you don't really care.

You just laugh, confirming, “Ed Sheeran’s on in the background.”

Alex reaches forwards and holds your face then, both hands cupping your cheeks and he gently strokes them with his thumbs as he tries to take in the moment properly. “Can you say it again?” He asks quietly as a tear falls, “Please.”

You have the biggest grin on your face as you tell him, “I love you, Alex.”

His whole face lights up with the sweetest and most innocent smile then. One that’s overcome with so much adoration and joy, it warms your soul. And when you see him go to say it back, you stop him, “I-“

“No,” You put your finger over his lips, “Don’t tell me today.”

He frowns at you a little then, “But I lo-”

You stop him again, already knowing he wants to say it back and in your heart you know he probably wants to scream it at you, but you want him to tell you when he can’t hold it back any longer, like you’ve been like today. You nod as you smile, “I know, but don’t tell me today. Tell me when you desperately want to tell me.”

“I’m desperate now.” Alex laughs a little, feeling his chest burst with the emotions you’re telling him he’s not allowed to get out just yet.

“I know, but please tell me on a day when it overwhelms you so much it hurts not to tell me.” You ask him, in hopes that he could do it. You explain, “That’s how I’ve been feeling for days. I had to tell you today.”

“You’ve wanted to tell me all day and you’ve waited till now? Christ Angel, it’s almost midnight.” He laughs, and his grin is so big that you’re trying your best to take a mental picture of how gorgeous he looks right now. He strokes your cheek as he asks, “What games are you playing?”

“Absolutely none,” You laugh, “I just love you and I needed to tell you.”

Alex giggles at that, still not fully believing he’s wide awake and this is real life. He’s so beyond happy, he really doesn’t have the words to tell you, especially if you won’t let him say it back just yet.

So your best friend does the one thing that he knows that after what’s just been said, you won’t deny him. He pleads with the biggest smile on his face, “Kiss me?”

You chuckle before you ask, “Thought I was the one that asks that?”

“If you’re mine, you don’t need to ask anymore, Angel.” Alex grins.

“I’m all yours, Shakespeare.” You promise him before you kiss him again.

This kiss feels like it seals the deal. It’s your confirmation that you’re his and he’s yours and your heart is bursting with all the love you have for him and the elation you’re feeling that he wants to give you another go.

You’re feeling euphoric and you know from the way Alex is pouring his heart into this kiss that he is too. He’s still holding your face so that you couldn’t even escape it if you tried, you know he needs this just as much as you.

You’re unsure if you’re only kissing for a few minutes, or if ten end up passing. All you know is that you’re so in love with your best friend, who has quite possibly just become your boyfriend, that you never really wanted it to end. And just when you thought it was about to, Alex bites your bottom lip and brings you back in for another one because he really can’t let you go just yet.

It makes you shiver like it has done every time he’s ever done it, but you knew that was another little nod back to the first time he’d ever done it. You’re thankful he’s always remembered how much you love it and you fully intend to let him kiss you and bite your lip whenever he wants from now on.

Even when your kiss did come to an end, the moment didn’t.

Foreheads resting against each other whilst both of you let your grins free. Your noses playfully nudging the others back and forth in cute eskimo kisses has you quietly giggling, and you keep whispering to your best friend that you love him.

It’s certainly the best night of Alex’s life, and he can’t wait until you let him say it back to you because he is dying to. He loves you so much. And he’s let that love slowly consume him again every moment you’ve had together since that night he came back to you. And he never ever wants to let you go again.

Even when you finally put each other down, you cuddle yourself right into him and Alex holds you tightly and every few seconds he’s kissing your head. Both of you are only half listening to the end of the 2017 Glastonbury set now because you’re just too focused on the mutual love you have for one another and how it feels like it could pour out of your chests.

But one song does grab both of your attention, and it’s when Alex takes your hand as he hears you humming along to the tune of Ed singing, ‘Now I have met an Angel in person, and she looks perfect, I don’t deserve it but she looks perfect tonight.’ that Alex lets out a short laugh.

You look up at your best friend as he sighs as he gestures to the TV, “That’s gunna be our wedding song now and we’ll be the most basic couple on earth.”

That makes you burst out laughing despite it now probably being true. It’s a stunning song and it says Angel in it, and now it’ll always remind you of tonight. But you’re just grinning like a fool because he’s practically said that he wants to marry you.

You lean up to kiss him again and you whisper against his lips, “I love you Shakespeare.” and he hums the words back to you as he kisses you which has your heart melting.

You love each other with so much of your hearts that none is left to protest.

~*~*~*~

Much to Alex’s dismay, you’ve still not let him tell you that he loves you yet and it’s almost been a week. It’s on the tip of his tongue and you seem to know every time he’s about to say tell you and you stop him from doing so. The only time he’s managed to get it out without you stopping him is when you’re asleep and he has half a mind to wake you up just to tell you.

But he gets why you want him to wait to say it. He remembers that tragic day after the night he got drunk years ago where he just needed to tell you that he loved you so he could try and fix things between you. He couldn’t get the words off his tongue like you couldn’t the night you told him, but thankfully the context was extremely different this time.

And Alex has no intentions to fuck things up between you ever again. The morning after you told him you loved him, you both talked a little bit and you decided there and then that you were official. You’re finally his girlfriend, and Alex is so beyond happy he can call his angel his own.

Truthfully, neither of you have ever been happier despite the fact you’re in the middle of a pandemic. The days together and finally getting to be how you’ve desperately wanted to be with each other really make everything better. You have each other now and you’re never going back to how it was before.

It was always going to be impossible for the two of you to just be best friends. There’s always been something more. And now you get to experience and live whatever that something more brings you both, and Alex will forever be thankful that you made the move to tell him you loved him.

Each day since, you’ve been so happy. He loves seeing you smiling and being all bright eyed and creative. It’s one of the things he really loves about you, and he can’t wait to tell you each and every way he loves you when you finally let him say it back.

Alex woke up alone this morning, which isn’t an issue but it’s the first time since you got back together that you haven’t had a lie in with him. But your best friend, now boyfriend, knows you’re an early riser and he can’t have you tucked away in bed all the time like he wants.

He’s just glad he woke up a little earlier sometimes and got to cuddle you whilst you were still half asleep.

Alex doesn’t have to worry at all as he knows you’ve not gone too far because he can hear the music you're playing downstairs. So because he’s that much of a simp and can’t spend a long time without you these days, he quickly gets himself washed and dressed before he comes downstairs.

The instant he sees you, there’s a smile on his face and it just gets bigger as he sees you dancing to the riff of the song you have on as you cook. When you finish singing the chorus, Alex watches as you dance to the instrumental part of the song and when the drums kick back in you start jumping around having a really good time.

He can’t stop himself from watching you and grinning. But just before the song kicks back in, Alex makes his presence known and he says over the music, “Morning Angel.”

You spin around to see him leaning against the wall with a grin on his face, clearly having a great time watching you. But then the lyrics come back and you point at him and start singing the song to him, “You look so cool, standing there.”

You walk towards him quickly, the smile sticking on your face now as you hook your finger into his belt loops and pull him towards you, “With your baggy jeans,” and you run your hands up through his hair, “And silky hair.”

Both of you grinning at each other, you wrap both your arms around his neck and carry on singing, “We can live for nothing baby, I don't care. Lose me like the ocean, feel the motion.”

And you make him move to the beat of the music as you sing the chorus to him at the top of your lungs after you give him a quick kiss, “I’ll be the sea honey, always always, and you’ll be the tide.”

You’re giggling like fools in love when you carry on dancing as you sing the outro. And when Heather stops singing, you pull your man down by his hair and you kiss him sweetly.

You can’t stop the smiles on your faces but being unable to stop smiling as you kiss each other really isn’t unknown between you anymore. It’s all you’ve been doing this past week.

After The Tide by Pale Waves finishes, Alex is smiling down at you as he asks, “What’s got you all happy?”

“I woke up next to you.” Your eyes are bright as you keep him close and tell him about your day so far, “The sun is shining. I'm feeling creative, I’ve already finished one poem and painting this morning. The day is good.”

Alex kisses you again then and he hums against your lips before he pulls away to say, “Let go of me so I can see the painting?”

You smile and do as you’re asked. You let him go and go back over to the hob so you can finish making the both of you breakfast as you tell him, “It's on the easel by the back door.”

After a few minutes, you feel his arms wrap around you from behind as you plate up both of your Full English’s for your brunch.

“My girlfriend is so talented it injures me.” Alex says as he leans around you to kiss your temple.

Whilst you think he’s very cute to say you’re talented, you decide to tease him for saying it injures him, “Maybe you and your fragile masculinity should write another album then.”

Alex’s jaw drops a little which makes your facade break. You giggle and lean back into him, “I’m joking, I’m joking.”

“Next year maybe.” Alex tells you after kissing his way up from your shoulder to your neck, “Focus on everything usthis year.”

You hum in agreement, and you turn in his arms as you tell him, “Sounds like a great idea.” and you quickly kiss him before you pat his chest, “Come on, let's eat.”

Brunch was delicious, as your cooking always is and both of you sat at the dining room table whilst you ate. The both of you chatted about the morbid news that the world is experiencing and the latest Covid figures that the government has released and you both wonder how the fuck the world is going to get out of the state that its in for a while.

But, the two of you are no help to anyone. You’re just hoping that Charlie is still doing okay as he is still on the frontline with all of this. It reminds you that you need to call Y/B/F today and actually have a proper lengthy conversation so you can make sure she’s alright.

When you get up from the table to put the plates in the dishwasher (you wouldn’t let Alex do it), your boyfriend finds himself longingly looking at the leather bound diary that contains all of your secrets. It reminds him of just how much he would love to read any poem of yours. He really hopes you’ll let him one day, even if it's years from now when you’re married and going grey, he really hopes you’ll let him.

Curiosity gets the better of Alex and he nods at your diary when you come back into the room, “Did you say you wrote a poem this morning?”

“I did.” You smile brightly at him, the sun hitting your face from the window making your skin have a golden tint to it. You look stunning.

Alex hums acknowledging what you told him, he grins when you walk around the table and sit on his lap instead of your chair. Stealing a quick kiss from you makes Alex smile and he also pushes his luck the tiniest bit, asking cheekily as he slides your poetry diary closer to the both of you, “Can I finally read some of these?”

You chuckle at the way he pouts at you, the silent plea on his face is quite amusing. But what is even funnier to you is his reaction to what you say next.  

“You can read them all.” You nod, “But just bare in mind that’s like two decades worth of my feelings.”

Your boyfriend’s jaw falls and his eyes go wide. It clearly takes a second to register because the next thing you know, his eyebrows are furrowed slightly and he asks, “Wait, what?”

“What?” You giggle, finding it quite amusing how shocked he is.

Alex picks up your poem diary properly now and holds it in front of you and asks seriously, “I can read this?”

“I don’t have anything to hide from you anymore.” You nod, confirming he can if he’d like to. And to ease your now clearly anxious boyfriend, your fingers gently play with the hair on the back of his neck, “You’ve been asking since we were teenagers, I think you’ve waited a sufficient amount of time.”

Alex is entirely lost for words. This book that he has seen for the past decade of his life has plagued him as he has been desperate at different moments in time to see what you’ve been scribbling down onto the pages of it. And to finally hear that he can read it without consequence is a real shock to his system.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You nod.

Alex looks at the leather diary then like he’s never opened a book in his life and he doesn’t know what to do with it. His hesitance makes you smile, but you think for your own sanity if he does want to read it, which you know he does, you need to do something for yourself.

“Before you do.” You get your best friend's attention again and you ask, “Can you please read and process them when I’m not here? I’d rather you take it all in and then you can ask questions afterwards if you have any.”

Alex questions, “Not all sunshines and rainbows then?” and his heart sinks a little as he’s sure of the answer you’re about to give.

“Has my life been all sunshine and rainbows, Al?” You raise an eyebrow but try to keep the mood light.  

“No,” Your boyfriend shakes his head and takes a deep breath before admitting, “And I’ve not helped with that, I’m sure.”

“Don’t beat yourself up Al.” You tell him, giving him a small smile and you gently stroke his cheek as you tell him, “I love you now because I’ve been through everything you’re about to read.”

Once it’s established that Alex does in fact want to read it, you send off a few texts and when you get responses, you grab a few things before you get yourself ready to head out. And once you’re at the door, you tell Alex what your plan for your day is, “I’m going to go for a long walk, meet up with Adam for a socially distanced chat at the park and then have a nice long talk with Y/B/F whilst you read, okay?”

Alex wraps his arms around your waist and he hides himself into your neck and he kisses it once before offering, “You can stay here if you want? I’ll go out.”

“And you lose my poetry book? Absolutely not.” You giggle a little and you give his hair a little tug so you can give him a kiss. “It’s a nice day, I wanna get out anyway so it kills two birds with one stone.”

“I love you so much.” You kiss him longingly and lovingly, “I’ll see you later.”

“I-” And your best friend tries again.

But you quickly silence him with another kiss and tell him, “Don’t say it until after you’ve read my poems.”

Alex looks hopeful when he asks, “I can say it after?”

“Yeah, I think I've made you wait long enough for that now too.” You grin, loving how excited he is at the thought of saying that he loves you. But you jokingly big yourself up, “Besides, I have a feeling that you’ll be desperate to say it. I have a way with words.”

Alex chuckles at that, but before he lets you go he raises his little finger to you and asks, “Afterwards?”

You smile and hook your little finger around his in a pinky promise, confirming, “Afterwards.”

~*~*~*~

The way Alex’s heart is beating as he paces in front of the settee, which your poetry diary is currently lay on, is frankly concerning considering all of his nerves are being caused by what a pen has written on paper. It’s been 15 minutes since you’ve gone out and Alex hasn’t yet found the courage to open it.

But he realises that he needs to just bite the bullet. He’s been asking to read your poems for so long, he doesn’t want to back out of this now. Alex wants to know the ins and outs of your mind, and this is the closest he’ll ever get to that. So after a few deep breaths, he forces himself to sit down and unwrap the leather diary and he opens it on the first page.

Alex smiles seeing that it's not only your words in this book, you have doodles in there too. Stunning ones, just like all your drawings but these are quirkier and on this page he knows they must be from a long time ago.

On the first page he sees your full name written down, your telephone number which has clearly been updated the few times it’s needed to be. And then you have a bigger note that reads:

If lost: Please call the above number and claim your £5000 reward.

It makes Alex relax a bit reading that because that’s a very you thing to do. He knows that if this book went missing you’d probably pay double that to get it back. And after a deep breath, your boyfriend turns the page to start reading properly and he finds it easier than expected, for now anyway.

After reading a few of your earliest ones, Alex spots the small way you’ve coded out your poems. The date is the first thing at the top of the page, but then in the top right hand corner, you have initials of who the poem is about.

The few he’s read he knows from the initials that there are some about your Mum. Other heartfelt and longing ones about your Dad that almost have Alex tearing up.

There are happy ones too, some that don’t necessarily have initials because they aren’t about anyone in general, they are just about how you’re feeling.

Even reading these from back when you were in high school and college, Alex knows that you’re amazing at what you write in this book. And if your writing was this good when you were half your current age, he knows you must be even better now.

Once Alex figured out your code, he decided that he wants to respect your privacy a little more, so instead of reading everything you’ve written, he searches for his own initials. And your boyfriend stops when he sees the first A.T. in the right corner of your book. Alex sees that you’ve dated it late July 2002 and then he goes on to read:

Thank you for making me

feel things I thought I

never could

It’s short and simple, but Alex knows already that you must have been talking about the night you first slept together then. It sort of hits him all over again just how deeply you clearly felt about the milestone in your lives as he never expected to read you thanking him for it.

Alex flips a few more pages until he stops when he sees a polaroid of you and all the 1975 boys in a swimming pool. You’re all grinning like idiots and he can see that you’ve all signed the bottom of it which is a very you thing to ask all of them to do. But he smiles when he reads the poem on the page the picture is in between.

It’s about him, and about how there’s a trace of him on your neck that you’re getting teased for, but you’re saying it’s all worth it because it’s your reminder of what's waiting for you back home. When Alex looks at the picture again, he can see the faint bruise that he remembers sucking on your neck in Matt’s bedroom all those years ago at that house party. It makes him smile, seeing you look like you did back when you first got together, as you don’t look that much different now. You’re still as beautiful as ever but you’ve matured and grown into your beauty. And you have tattoos now too.

There were a few poems about Alex from that summer, that he finds himself smiling as he reads. But the first one with A.T. in the corner that knocks that smile from his face is one that hits him square in the chest.

Is my timing wrong

or am I just that hard to love?

Maybe I’m just

not good enough.

You thinking that you’re not good enough injures Alex’s soul, because it was never that. Alex was just a moron who got caught up in another girl who was actually in front of him for that whole summer who gave him attention and he never should have done it. He should have waited for you to come back home. He wishes he did.

Alex can’t help but think that this will probably be the easiest one of the heart aching ones that you’ve written about him. And the fact this already has made his heart sink probably isn’t the best sign.

Your poems move on to being about Peter after that and they stay that way for a lot of pages. Alex flicks through them, not really paying too much attention to anything you write about your first boyfriend, but when Alex sees M.H.he pauses.

Nothing is wasted.

Things happen for a reason.

A kiss should be simple,

but the taste of you on

my lips that night (searing)

a beautiful complication

Simple? Then why does

my heart long for you

when I’m locked to him.

Alex quickly recognises that you must have written that when you kissed Matty whilst you were still going out with Peter. And at the same time Alex realises he can’t put himself through reading the poems you’ve written about Matty, whilst it’s beautiful, he knows he can’t do it. He promises himself this will be the last one.

The next Alex finds with his own initials on it is dated a few days after your 21st birthday. And this one was about how sweet you thought it was that he kissed you. After that, there’s endless pages that are about Matty and there are somany.

Whilst Alex is searching for his next one, he comes across a photobooth strip of pictures where you and Matty are kissing each others cheeks before finally kissing each other properly in the final photo tucked into one of the poems about him, but Alex has to skips over your words about your ex.

The next A.T. is dated early November 2007, so Alex knows that this is bound to be when you were on tour with him. And Alex knows it must be because from the context of the poem he knows that this must be about the night you finally slept together again.

Supernova

Boy you are a wild thing,

a supernova, a rush of

blood, burning desire.

(Angels could never)

You light up everything

you touch & set my

body electric.

Me and you?

Hearts true,

skin brand new.

Alex reads this one over and over again. He selfishly knows why he repeats the poem, because he knows that when he turns the page it’s going to turn nasty. Because he was so beyond nasty to you back then.

It’s still one of the biggest regrets of his life, leading both you and Alexa on. He should have never done that to either of you, but especially you. He was so stupid to disregard you like you were nothing and it will always be a splinter in Alex’s soul that he’ll never be able to get out. Just like the way the guilt is always slowly eating away at him but he buries it down these days. But reading your poems that follow make that guilt wash over him all over again.

When he turns the page, he finds it dated it dated early December 2007 which Alex knows is after you left the Favourite Worst Nightmare tour after what he did and he takes a deep breath before he reads the poem you’ve titled Betrayal:

You don’t understand

how a piece of you exists

within me. It hides convert,

burrowed in my centre.

My love, my love, my love,

I have learned to romance

ghosts with you: Men who

are all fucking talk and

zero substance. I have

learned a heart can be

feint, untouchable - even

when gripped in a fist.

I have learned you are

not mine but I have

always been yours.

Ours.

I don't understand why

I can’t kill the piece of you

that makes my heart shake.

I don’t understand how

you can look for more in her

when I have cracked open

my ribcage for you.

It makes Alex tear up, and so do the ones afterwards. There’s at least ten from December 2007 and they all progressively hurt more and more as Alex reads them. But he knows you felt so much worse than he does whilst he’s reading them and on some level he knows that he has to read them all because he deserves to feel the pain after he caused you so much more in the past.

Nothing truly gets him like the last one from that month though. You wrote this one after Christmas, the first christmas he remembers you not being at home for, and his one is called Devastation and it hits him even harder.

You are with me

in dreams sweat-soaked

and electric.

You are the reason

for this ache,

this heart burst open.

When I think of you,

the knife twists and

youyouyou,

you cripple me

even still.

You are beyond forgetting.

You are ingrained in

my blood.

What I don’t understand

is why I still care?

I am a car crash when

it comes to love:

Even when my head hits

the dashboard, I spit out

my teeth and

ask if you’re

okay.

It makes him feel sick, especially reading the end of it. The mention of a car crash wounds him as he knows what pain you went through years after you wrote this on paper what a car accident would do to you. And the fact he made you feel as if you were going through something that you later would find out to be the worst pain of your life, makes him start crying.

He’s not entirely sure how long his head rests in his hands and he cries about the way he once made you feel. Your best friend knows it’s a long while and he forces himself to read all of the sad ones before he lets himself move on.

He deserves to feel every once of your pain that he put you through. And Alex really doesn’t know how you managed to forgive him time and time again.

When he finally gets back to grips and he’s not crying anymore, Alex flicks through again, there’s a few more about Matty before they move on to being about Kyle for a while. There’s the occasional one about your friends and there's a platonic one about Alex dated in 2009 about distance and about how you send each other books.

After that a few more crop up about him that show how worried you are about him that were from 2010, after his split with Alexa and he came to stay with you. And there’s more about Matty afterwards. In fact, Matty takes up the majority of the next fifty pages which makes sense considering you were with him for so long.

The poems got Alex emotional again when it reached the year you had your accident and when you split up with Matty. Alex expects there to be a lot in there about the accident, but considering what happened with Matty, he realises that pain combined with the accident merged into one, so he still doesn’t read the ones with Matty’s initials in the corner.

One of them, though, doesn’t have any initials on it. And it’s the simplest poem but it hits Alex square in the chest.

I keep wondering

how sad do I have to be

for someone to stop insisting

everything is going to be fine?

Maybe it hits him because Alex thinks of himself as that someone who kept reassuring you at that point in your life. Despite you not putting any initials it really does seem like it could be about him.

Your poems stay about Matty for a while then, and he sees the dates move to when the AM tour started. At the beginning of that year there were a few more about Matty, probably how you felt betrayed by him going after Alex’s exes but he again skips over them until he finds his initials again. And he smiles when he does.

There are a few cute ones about the two of you getting closer again, some that suggest you want to see if you can be happy with him but with nerves because of what happened last time. They are really cute, ones that Alex wishes he could reread over and over again, but his favourite happens to have something else alongside it.

Alex opens that page and a polaroid falls out of it, one that he hasn’t seen in years but he remembers taking it. The picture of your silhouette as you sit on the decking above some American lake, and the sky is full of colour. Yellows, oranges, and reds all blurring into a stunning sunset, with the reflection of it on the water but you’re at the centre of it.

Seeing that the poem is the one that you wrote when you were sitting in his arms makes Alex’s heart beat faster, and this is definitely his favourite when he reads it.

Back To Life

This is the truth:

You touched me and the

universe fell back into place.

With you I feel infinity and

I wonder how many lives,

galaxies and red-hot nights

will live in our shared bloodstream.

Because it all boils down to

this sweet boy:

You have brought me

back to life.

It really hits him hard that one, and all of the ones after that ooze that you’re falling in love again. And knowing what happens makes Alex’s heart ache, he really could have had you be his back on tour if he’d have just asked you. If the both of you had just been direct like you were last week, you could have been together for 6 years.

Alex guesses that is at least one blessing of growing up. You all learn from your mistakes in an effort not to make the same ones again, and he’s so thankful he can finally call you his.

If he’s remembering the dates correctly, Alex reads another one that is from when you both came back home from the AM tour that is about him.

I learned to love

the most important parts of me,

because you did.

All my fear, anxieties,

quirks, and insecurities.

I overcame the struggle

because you held out

your hand and

offered to walk with me.

Whilst that warms his heart, the ones of heartbreak come next. Ones where you said that you let him go because you couldn’t be selfish to make him stay for you. Others of longing and the pain at him being so far away again and it makes Alex regret that move to LA in 2014 even more than he already did.

Reading the ones about both him and Matty make your constant heartache back in 2016 a bit easier to understand. He can tell from the way you write that you’re so confused by what you’re feeling for two different people and how overwhelming those emotions were for you. Alex starts crying at some of them because of how broken you sound in them. It made him wish he never put you through the stupid triangle.

Then the poems reflected on your 30th birthday party and the ones about him hurt him a fucking lot to read. Again, he deserves to feel that pain. It’s another of his biggest regrets to this day that he’d said that about you and used your virginity as some badge of honour. So when he reads about you actually forgiving him, he cries again in relief.

But then it gets to 2017 and something else trapped in the pages falls onto Alex’s lap. A letter.

One that just reads ‘Y/N’ on the front of it in someone's handwriting that he doesn’t quite recognise, but he knows he’s seen it before. But then it clicks after he thinks why you keep a letter in your most prized possessions, it’s important to you and important enough that you wouldn’t want to lose it. And it’s then he realises it must be the letter that Matty gave you, the one that ended up with you sleeping with your other best friend again.

For years it’s plagued Alex on what could be written in that letter - the one that's now in his hands - that made you rush to Matty and sleep with him again. It kept him up at night thinking about it in the days after you told him what happened.

He wants to know, he really does and when it clicked what it was there was no doubt in Alex’s mind that he was going to open it and read it. But when it comes to him even opening the envelope, he can’t do it.

Alex can’t bring himself to betray your trust like that. It’s unbelievable enough that you’ve even let him open your poetry diary, he can’t just open something that you’ve kept private for so long.

He trusts you enough with what you’d told him in the past and what you said last week that Matty is just your best friend. You will have had your reasons for why you got with him back then and he’s sure this letter in his hands would make him understand. But that can stay between you and Matty. Alex makes his peace with that there and then as he tucks the letter back into the pages of your diary before he starts searching for his initials again.

The 2018 poems begin and the months where you and Alex got together again the time it almost led to a proper relationship have your boyfriend really happy to read. Your writing is astounding and how you convey your feelings through your words is insane.

But Alex knows he’s about to fuck up and hurt you again. And when he reaches the poem where he does, it upsets him again.

In another life

I swallowed every reprieve

and instead

offered you a mouthful

of loathing.

Just not in this one

As he’s been reading all of the ones after this about how hurt you were after he called you what he did and you decided you didn’t want to be with him anymore. Again, entirely fair and he deserves to feel like this as he reads the following ones that also cover that heartbreak.

He reads the other ones that cover 2018, not many more are about him other than one about you meeting accidentally in your spot at the park that day.

The poem you write about your one night stand in January 2019 is amazing. You write about sex like it’s electricity and he can feel the ghost of what happened in his veins as he reads.

He wishes that you were ready for a relationship back then because he would have asked you if you wanted to settle down. It would have saved him the waste of time that was the rest of 2019 for him anyway, and he could have been with someone who actually appreciated him for the person he is instead of being used like he was. Another regret of his will always be that he foolishly didn’t believe what you said about his ex and that he hurt you with that.

The poems that start with the beginning of 2020 are beautiful and happy, but the ones that come after march are bitter in comparison. Your poems turn lonely and sad and it’s so blatantly clear to see that you weren’t doing too well. As Alex reads he can see tear stains on the old battered book that holds your emotions just as clearly as your words.

He too is balling his eyes out reading how broken you feel and he wishes you phoned him sooner than you did. He promises himself that he will never ever let you feel as upset as you clearly were for those few months and he will make sure he does that for the rest of his life.

Alex notices the dates get even more recent now. One a day after he picks you up and it's as if a light had been switched back on and you found your happiness again. And then he reads ones that slowly hint that you’re falling back in love and you say that it’s been dormant for a while but it's always been there. It makes your boyfriend emotional as his heart feels like it could burst. But then he reads ones that have been written this last week, where each of them have that A.T. in the corner and your boyfriend can’t stop crying.

21/06/20

Those little moments,

with my head on your chest

and your fingertips

drawing circles

on the base of my neck.

They are the tiny moments

you are more than my home;

you are my entire world.

~~~

22/06/20

If I were to build a house

I’d have your arms as the walls

Your eyes as the windows

Your smile as the front door

Your heart as the fireplace

And your soul as my light

And in this house

I’d place my faith

Knowing I’d finally

Found a home

~~~

23/06/20

My pen could write

for a thousand people

but it never smiles about them

the way it does for you.

I love you Alexander Turner,

my Shakespeare,

my Darling.

So much.

And then the pages go blank. You wrote that you loved him this morning and even though you’ve said it a hundred times this past week it still doesn’t seem real.

Alex closes the book and puts it down before he just lets himself cry. He’s so overwhelmed with everything that you’ve written that all of his emotions are blended into one and he just sits and cries.

The only thing Alex can make sense of is that It seemed like you both caught feelings for each other even harder at different paces. You caught them immediately whereas Alex noticed them properly about a year later and he made messy life decisions after that.

And after that you’ve been missing each other until you finally got brought together now. Alex is so beyond thankful that he has you now and he will never ever take that for granted.

He’s unsure how long he sat there reading, and now crying, but it’s long enough that you’ve made it back home. Alex hears the front door open and you’re humming as you walk through the door.

Hearing your small, “I’m home.” somehow makes him even more upset, but he can’t not get up because he needs you back in his arms now. As Alex turns the corner, you’re taking your AirPods out and putting your keys on the side and he tears up more just looking at you.

You didn’t even notice your boyfriend was coming up to you until the second before his arms wrapped around you and he gave you the biggest hug he ever has. It’s a lovely embrace that has you smiling, but it quickly turns worrying when you feel his shaky breathing and you realise he’s crying.

Just as you’re about to ask if he’s okay, you hear his choked up voice tell you, “I love you so so much, Y/N.” as he hugs you tightly.

“Alex,” Your arms wrap around him, instantly worried he’s had some bad news whilst you’ve been out. “What's wrong?”

You feel him shake his head as he cries into your neck and he just holds you tighter and “Nothing, I just love you.”

“I love you too, Al.” You promise him, giving him a big squeeze and you run your hand up and down his back trying to comfort him and coax him into telling you what's wrong.

You’re a little worried about him when he just cries for a minute in your neck before you start worrying that something bad actually has happened and he’s not telling you, “Alex come on, what's happened? What’s wrong?”

“I just read everything and I-” He chokes up when he pulls out of your hug briefly for him to wipe the tears from his face as he stumbles over his words, “I don’t know Angel. I’m overwhelmed and I-” He has watery eyes and you can tell just how much he means what he’s saying when he continues, “I just love you so much Angel… I’m so sorry I hurt you for so long.”

“Al, don't apologise.” You shake your head, and reach up to wipe his tears away, “I’m fine, I’m okay.”

“I just love you a lot. I'm so, so, so beyond sorry I put you through all that.” There’s no stopping his tears yet, and he looks broken when he cries in a choked voice, “You must hate me, I'm so, so, so sorry.”

“Alex no,” You promise him, “It's okay.”

He sounds broken when he says, “I don’t understand how can you love me when I made you feel like that?”

“Do you remember what that really clever man once said?” You ask him as you wipe his tears and he sniffles, shaking his head slightly to answer your question.

“‘The course of true love never did run smooth’, Al.” You quote A Midsummer Night’s Dream at him, before you go on to say, “I love you more now because of it all… You know I love you, you’ve just read how much I do. Please tell me you made it to the end.”

Alex nods, confirming he did, but he sniffles, “I don’t deserve it.”

“If you made it to the end then you’ve read how much I love you.” You smile at him, and the small smile he gives you back warms your heart. You really want him to believe you.

“We deserve to be happy, Shakespeare.” You wipe away the fresh tears that spill down his cheeks as you tell him softly, “It’s time to let it all go. It’s me and you against the world now.”

“Are you sure you want that?” It almost breaks your heart when you hear him ask that. “Want me?”

You nod, promising him, “I’ve never been more sure about anything.”

Tears of relief seem to flood his eyes then and he smiles at you as he savours the feeling of you gently brushing his cheeks as you look up at him with such a loving smile.

He wraps himself up into the biggest hug again and as you lean your head against his, he says, “I love you so much Y/N Y/L/N.”

You smile as you whisper into his ear, “And I love you too Alex Turner.”

~*~*~*~ Mid July 2020 ~*~*~*~

“Curly, hey!” You smile as you answer your phone.

You just quickly ran to the kitchen to grab your phone when you heard it ringing but you were pleasantly surprised to see your best friend's contact name on the screen.  

“Wheels! Sweetheart!” Matty’s chipper voice comes from down the phone. “How are you? What you up to?”

“I’m good, thank you.” You tell him as you make your way back to  “And I’m currently doing another box painting for the next gallery. For whenever the world gets back to normal anyway.”

“Hopefully we will get there soon,” You can hear Matty’s smile when he adds, “And oooo, what’s this one of?”

You smile as you look at your artwork. This one was just a scene you conjured up from your imagination and it turned out pretty well if you do say so yourself, “This one is a foggy forest with mountains in the back.”

“Nice one, can’t wait to see it.” Matty says and you know he’s being entirely genuine.

However, today is about him, not you.

“You’re too cute, but anyway, I can tell you over the phone properly now.” You’re grinning like a fool as you say, “I’m so fucking proud of you Matty… Notes is fucking amazing.”

Notes On A Conditional Form came out today and you’ve already had your first run through of listening to it since Alex went out earlier as you painted. It’s so different to their other albums but still has that 1975 magic that makes the songs theirs. And you’re so incredibly proud of them all.

“Thank you Sweetheart,” You can practically hear his grin, “And whilst I’ve got you, Notes was actually the reason I was calling.”

“Oh?” You smile hearing that.

“We’re doing the twitter listening party later on at seven and I wondered if you’re not busy if you wanted to come to the studio to listen with me and George?” Matty asks, and before you can get a word in, your best friend starts giving his reasons, “I just don’t want you on your own when you’re being sensible anyway so having you around for a bit isn’t going to break any rules in our mind nor should it in yours. You shouldn’t be locked down alone anyway.”

“Matty,” You start, “Thank you for the offer but I’m not on my own anymore.”

“Who you with?”

“Alex…” You trail off, really not knowing how Matty was going to take it.

You’ve sort of just kept what’s gone on between you and Alex the past month between the two of you. You hadn’t even told Adam you were giving it another try with Alex yet, you just told him when you socially distanced met up with him the day your boyfriend was reading your poetry books that you were staying at his house, not that you were back together.

“Ah, right.” Matty thinks about it for a second before hesitantly asking, “I’m guessing in more ways than one?”

You feel fucking awful, like you should have had this conversation in person and not over the phone, so you immediately say, “I’m sorry Matty, I-”

“No, no Wheels, please don’t apologise.” Matty is quick to interrupt you, “I was just asking because I didn't want to presume. I just want you to be happy.”

“That’s all I want for you too, Matty. I swear.” You promise, because you do just want him happy.

There’s nothing you want more than for him to find the girl of his dreams who can put up with his excitable ways and for someone who loves him just as much as you once did. He deserves the world and there will always be a part of you that loves him, but you’re both so much better off as best friends it's clear for you both to see now.

“Yeah, I know.” You can hear his smile and that is still present when he excitedly hints, “I’ve got news on that actually.”

“Ooo what?”

“I’ve started speaking to someone.” Matty informs you and you can hear his grin down the phone.

You gasp, completely thrilled for him, “Really?”

“Yeah.” He confirms, sounding really chuffed for himself.  

“Would I know her?” Is your polite way of asking if she’s famous.

“You might.” Matty chuckles before answering, “You heard of FKA Twigs?”

“You’re kidding.” Your jaw drops and you have to pinch your nose wondering how the fuck Matty, your beautifully idiotic now skinhead Matty Healy has somehow managed to take FKA Twigs off the market. “How the fuck have you managed that Matty? She pole dances!”

“I know.” Matty laughs down the phone, clearly finding your shock funny. “I don’t know either Wheels, but it’s going really well. I was actually gunna tell you later on if you were coming round.”

You can’t stop smiling at how bloody happy he sounds, you coo down the phone, “Matty, I’m so happy for you.”

“I’m happy for you too.” Matty tells you sincerely, and your heart melts a bit when he adds, “You know I’m always here if you need me, right Sweetheart?”

“Of course I do, Curly.” You nod, wrapping an arm around yourself in an attempt to simulate one of his. You’ve missed your Matty hugs these past four months. You remind him, “I’m always a phone call away too. You know that.”

“I do.” Matty confirms which makes you smile.

You really need lockdown to fuck off so you can go and hug your friends. You will certainly never take their presence for granted ever again.

“Who knows about you and Al by the way? Does Hann know?” Matty can’t help but wonder.

“No we’ve not told anyone, we've just kept it to ourselves for the time being.” You explain, “But it’s not a secret, tell who you want. I’ll phone Adam after I’ve finished on the phone with you though.”

He chuckles mischievously, “Amazing, Twitter will have a field day.”

“Just like they did when they found out you shaved your head again.” You pointedly accuse because you’re still not happy with him.

The bastard got rid of the mohawk and left a fucking rat tail on his head, and after copious amounts of bullying from you, he finally got rid of that too. But now he just looks like a prison inmate and you need him to commit to growing his hair back.

“So other than the both of us being happy, do you have any gossip? Personal or industry will satisfy my boredom.” You ask, changing the topic of conversation so he hopefully forgets his plan to out your relationship to twitter.  

Matty laughs then, but he can’t help but say, “Alex should be satisfying your boredom.”

“Oh he is,” You grin, knowing exactly what your best friend meant by that, “But I’ve gotta have a break sometimes, Curly.”

The sex you and Alex were currently having was very very nice to say the least. Lockdown was a blessing in that sense, between painting, watching shit tv, talking to each other and your friends left a lot of time for the two of you to get up to no good. And it’s needless to say, you’ve been left very satisfied.

But you can’t help but tease Matty, “Might watch a few more videos of your girlfriend pole dancing if you don’t give me some gossip.”

“Let me think.” Your best friend says quickly which makes you chuckle, but then he tells you the worst thing imaginable, “Oh yeah, so something devastating news for you actually… Catfish and the Bottlemen are no more.”

Your eyes go wide, and you gasp, “What?!”

You can imagine Matty nodding as he confirms, “They are splitting up.”

“No.” You say back in utter disbelief.

You don;t even hear the front door open, you're so in shock. All you can hear is Matty trying not to laugh as he says, “Yeah, sorry Wheels but it’s true.”

With your hand over your mouth, still in utter disbelief you ask, “But why?” like you’re a child who’s having a sulk at your toy being taken away.

“I’ve got no idea. Seems there’s been a few disagreements and shit’s hit the fan.” Matty tells you, “Apparently, they will be doing their confirmed tour dates and then that's it.”

“I’m in pain.” You're frozen to your spot, looking like your world just crumbled down as you exaggerate to Matty, “Immense pain.”

Whilst your best friend chuckles down the phone, Alex walks through the door with all of the food shopping bags on his arms, and he asks slightly concerned, “What’s wrong with you? You look like you’re about to throw up.”

As your boyfriend kisses you on top of your head, you repeat what Matty just told you, “Catfish and the Bottlemen are splitting up.”

“Yeah.” Alex nods like it’s not news to him before he turns and heads towards the kitchen.

You jump out of your seat and follow him, almost shouting, “You knew?!”

“I thought you did.” Alex says over his shoulder as he puts all the bags down in the corner of the room by the cupboards.  

Matty is laughing down the phone as you say in complete disbelief, “I can’t believe you knew and you didn’t tell me.”

“Don’t cry Angel, they weren’t that good.” Alex chuckles before he starts opening cupboards and the fridge to put the food shopping away.  

You jump up and sit on the kitchen island before saying, “I’m surrounded by rats.” and Matty again laughs as your boyfriend chuckles.

“Matty’s on the phone then?” Alex asks, and when you nod, you pull your phone from your ear and put him on speaker. Your boyfriend tells your best friend, “Brave of you to tell her that mate. How are you?”

“I know and good thank you, hope you are too.” Matty’s voice rings out of your phone speakers.  

But you smirk and add, “Oh he’s fucking amazing with his new pole dancing girlfriend.”

“Who?” Alex turns to look at you with a surprised look.

You grin knowing he’ll be shocked when you tell him, “FKA Twigs.”

“You’re kidding?” Alex’s jaw drops exactly like yours did.

You can’t help but laugh, “That’s what I said!”

“Okay it’s getting a bit rude now and you’s can call her Tahliah,” Matty tells you and you bite your lip to stop from laughing. Matty adds though, “By the way Al… Break Wheels’ heart and I’ll punch your lights out and get George to do the same.”

“Noted.” Alex chuckles, having absolutely no intention to ever hurt you again. Changing the topic, “Speaking of notes, we’re listening to it later, right?”

“We are indeed.” You nod confirming for your boyfriend.

“Excited to hear what you think.” Matty says pleasantly, but then he feels the need to remind, “Please both of you remember I wrote it a fucking while ago.”

You chuckle at that because you know he means that songs about you are on there. But you already knew that. You were in the music video to one of them after all. But you’re excited to tweet along later as you both listen to it properly.  

“Don’t worry, it's all good.” Alex chuckles, really not caring if you’re not upset by it.

Matty is entitled to write about his own experience just as much as he is.  

You leave Alex to put the shopping away after the three of you chat for a little bit. You and Matty could chat for days and you probably chat for another half an hour about anything that pops into either of your heads. But then Matty remembers something that will shock you to your very soul.

“Oh fuck.” Matty says randomly as you were gossiping.

“What?”

“I forgot to tell you something…” Matty trails off.

If you were on facetime with him, you expect you’d see the hint of a grin coming onto his lips as you can tell by the way he said that. You’re sure of it.

Which is why you question, “Is it gossip?”

“It is.” Matty confirms, before correcting slightly, “Personal gossip.”

Oh, fuck yes. The best kind… Especially when it’s not about you.

You’re grinning, “Spill, now.”

“Are you sat down?” Matty asks, “You might want to be.”

“Oh fuck,” You immediately feel guilty for getting excited and not realising something could be wrong, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah everything’s grand,” Matty thankfully eases your worries, but he still leaves you anxious as he says, “Just need you to be sitting for this.”

“Okay… You’re scaring me now. What?”

“It’s George…” He trails off again.

But you prompt him to continue, your heart beating a little faster wondering what the gossip could be, “What about him?”

Matty tells you, “He texted me earlier saying he’d managed to shag the girl he’s been after for a while.”

And just like that your hopes and dreams of George all crumble away.

You pout at that, and you sound a little grumpy as you say, “Well he’s not just shagged me so that’s a lie.”

“You wish.” Matty laughs, expecting to hear nothing else.

He can’t help but find your disappointment funny. But he knew he needed to be the one to tell you, because you’d need the news to sink in first and you’d be too polite for your own good if George told you himself.

As Matty is thinking all of this, you realise you really can’t be upset. You’ve got your man now and you’re very veryhappy with him. Maybe you’re just mourning what could have been and the jokes that can’t happen anymore.

Sighing, you brave the pain, “Come on spill... Who is it? Is she pretty? Do we know her?”

“Oh, you know her alright.” You can hear Matty’s grin.

“Do not say Alexa Chung.” You state bluntly, the idea not funny in the slightest to you.  

Matty cackles at that, but he assures you, “No, you’re safe don’t worry.”

“Who’s he fucking Matty?” You urge him to tell you.  

“Charli XCX.”

Your jaw falls open for the second time today, and you gasp, “No.”

“I promise you.” Matty confirms, but now you’re truly shell shocked and you’re left speechless. So much so that after a minute, your best friend makes sure you’re still there, “Wheels?”

Lucky fucking bitch.

You say as you stare into the void, “I’m deeply unwell.”

“I knew you would be.” Matty chuckles to himself as he can picture the shock on your face so clearly.

You whine, “She’s so fucking fit.”

“I know.” Matty agrees.

But you’re still thinking out loud as you complain, “They must have the hottest, switchiest sex.”

Matty cackles loudly at the pain in your voice. “I’m going to tell him you said that.”

Ignoring that comment, you carry on rambling about this fake heartbreak, “I half feel like he’s cheated on me because he’s not told me.”

Matty quite rightly asks, “Have you told him about Alex?”

“No, so I don’t have a leg to stand on but still I’m in pain right now.” You winge.

“Knew you would be.” Matty chuckles, “We’re all off the market now, Wheels. The shop has closed.”

You nod as if he can see you, but you then go on to the more pressing point, “We need to find Ross someone, stat.”

Matty agrees, “I might set him up a Raya account.”  

“Do it, the man needs to get laid.” You approve, then joke, “If I wasn’t spoken for, I would.”

“Please expect the bro code, Wheels.” You can almost hear Matty’s frown.  

“I’m not your bro.” You state, half offended he would call you that.

Matty chuckles, “You’re my best friend, you are.”

And just as you’re about to argue that you’re had sex with him before so you’re not his bro, Matty swears, “Oh fuck.”

You’re worried for a split second, “What?”

“I’m late for my Zoom meeting with Jamie,” Matty panics a little, but nothings wrong so you take a breath of relief as your best friend apologises, “Sorry Wheels, I completely forgot and he’s ringing me.”

You just chuckle, “Ever the professional.”

“Sorry Sweetheart.”

“It’s alright.” You smile, “Speak to you soon, love you lots Curly.”

“Love you too, bye Wheels.” Matty quickly bids you farewell.

“Bye.” You say back and when the call ends you stand yourself up.

It’s almost too much news to take in. You have to take a breath as you wonder back to the kitchen where you can hear your boyfriend starting to cook.

After you put your phone on charge, you walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist.

“Al.” You mumble as you hug his back.

“Yes Angel?”

“Don’t suppose you’ve ever thought about a foursome?” You ask, unable to stop yourself.

Alex chuckles, “With Matty and Twigs, no.”

You laugh a little too as that was definitely not who you were meaning. You correct him, “No, with George and his new girl.”

“Who’s his new girl?” Alex asks absentmindedly, no matter the answer he’s not going to change his mind.

You still can’t believe George has managed to land the stunning woman, “Charli XCX.”

Alex turns towards you at this point, looking just as shocked as you, “You’re kidding?”

“Nope.” You confirm it’s true.

“Christ,” Alex chuckles, “The pandemic has done the rounds for bringing couples together, hasn't it?”

“I know, I know.” You nod, and go back to having a silent moment with him, once again hugging his back whilst he cooks.  

But after a minute, you ask again, “So… the foursome?”

Alex snorts, before telling you, “Get out of my kitchen, woman.”

~*~*~*~ 30th November 2020 ~*~*~*~

“I don’t think we’re ever going to find one, Angel.” Alex sighs as you both get in the car after another disappointing house viewing.

You try to keep both of your hopes up by assuring, “We will.” as you do your seatbelt and get comfy as Alex starts the car.

Your boyfriend just looks visibly deflated though, which is how you’re currently feeling too but you’re trying not to let it get you down. The both of you decided that you wanted to find a home together, because you wanted to build a life together that was your own.

Originally it was Alex’s idea, because he didn’t want to refer to it as your flat or his house, he wanted it to be both of yours together. He wanted to restart with you and you were certainly up for it. You’re really not attached to your flat in London at all, and you’ve been living with Alex since June so you’re certainly up for it.

But the current search hasn’t been going too well.

“Each one has so many cons and it’s infuriating.” Alex huffs as he waits for the car to de-mist. He turns to you and holds up each of fingers for the cons, “Either no studio space or no music room space. It's either all dark and dingy and needs too much doing to it.”

“I understand Al,” You nod, getting what he means entirely, “Nowhere has felt like a home.”

He runs a hand through his once again prince charming hair, but he looks at you and sighs, “We couldn't raise a family in any of the ones they’ve shown us.”

The both of you have talked about your futures a lot recently and the prospect of starting a family has been talked about. Neither of you want anything right now, but the option being left open is certainly something you’re happy with.

You just continue to tell your boyfriend, “We will find somewhere.” as you grab his hand and lace your fingers together.

Alex gives your hand a squeeze and he kisses the back of it before sounding slightly upset as he admits, “I’m losing hope and that's really sad.”

You give him a sad smile hearing that but you do understand. You’ve not liked any yet either and it does get the both of you down. But you just try to stay optimistic but also realistic. It really isn’t the end of the world.

“Well we have the viewing later today and if that goes shit, how about we just put a hold on moving?” You suggest, “We’re not moving because we desperately have too, we’re just doing it for better convenience for the both of us.”

Alex looks like he’s about to argue, but you get to him first and say, “It’s really not that much of an issue me going to the flat to sort the paintings out. I can survive a bit longer.”

“I know, but I also want to make a home with you like we talked about.” Alex sounds so defeated and you just make him lean across the car to hug you for a few seconds.

“Home for me is where you are.” You tell him as you kiss his cheek, “So I’m perfectly fine in the house for a bit longer, Al. I’m in no rush... Let's just see how later goes and if we get a good feeling about it we can see.”

Alex nods and lets you go, grabbing your hand again as he nods, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I always am.” You chuckle and squeeze his hand, “You never know, the one later is a little further out of the city. More room there. And if you want to, I don't mind not being in London, we can go back home and look up there.”

Alex smiles at that idea, but he outs himself for not being able to wait around for anything, “I just can’t wait to build a life with you any longer. Need everything now.”

You grin at him and lean over to steal a kiss as you tell him, “I love you, Mr Impatient.”

“Love you too, Angel.” Alex mumbles against your lips as he kisses you back.

~*~*~*~

“So this one has most of the things you were asking for.” Your estate agent Anna tells you as the three of you walk up the drive of the gorgeous looking house.

“Lots of natural light, which I know you wanted for your art studio, Y/N. There's another decent sized room that could easily be turned into a home studio for you, Alex. It’s a little bigger than you wanted, but more space is never a bad thing.” She goes on to tell you as she gets the keys to the house out. “It's a four bed, two bathroom. Master has an ensuite, and there's an open plan kitchen and dining area. And the lounge is fairly big with a fireplace. There's also a pretty much brand new conservatory on the back and a big garden too.”

“Well it certainly sounds good.” You smile as she starts unlocking the doors, “Looks it too from the outside.”

The drive can easily fit a few cars on there which is nice, and there's a tree that currently has no leaves in the corner too. The outside of the house looks huge, somewhere that you would dream of living when you were a teenager and never imagining it would be possible for you to have. You just hope inside lives up to the outside.

Anna smiles at you both, and she says, “Fingers crossed this is the one for you both, I have a good feeling,”

“Let's hope it’s a good one.” Alex nods as she opens the front door.

Anna gives you the tour around and you must admit the more things you see of this house, the more you can see the potential in it. This is one of the few that you’re actually letting yourself get excited about.

The room Anna thought about as your art studio is perfect, there's enough natural light so you could paint in there and there's enough room to store your paintings and all your supplies too. There’s nothing you don’t like about it.

And Alex seems to like the room that she envisioned as his studio. You could already picture his guitars on the walls, a drum kit in there, a keyboard, there was enough room for everything.

The lounge is fucking huge, bigger than the two of you need but it’s cosy and if theres a future where the two of you ever decide to expand your family the house certainly accommodates to it. The joint kitchen and dining room is astounding too, you wouldn't change a thing in there, you love all the units and so does Alex.

Upstairs is just as good. All the bedrooms and the bathroom are beautiful and the only thing you would change about them would be giving them some colour on the bare white walls. You can certainly picture yourself and Alex in the master bedroom too. The whole house is stunning and the both of you get that excited feeling in your stomach as you look around.

Anna lets you wonder around by yourselves for a little bit where you get the relief of knowing that the other person has a good feeling about this house too. And as you come back downstairs, you realise you’ve not looked outside yet or been in the conservatory.

“Do we get to the back garden through the conservatory, Anna?” You ask, looking back to her setting her iPad down on the kitchen island.

“Yes there is a door in there and there's a door in the utility room too, but feel free to go out that way, the key should be in the door.” She smiles.

Both of you think that the conservatory has the potential to be very cosy, and there’s no neighbours facing this way either, the garden just seems to be surrounded by trees so it gives the garden some privacy which the both of you like.

“Lets go check outside.” You suggest as you slip your coat back on, and Alex follows you out.

It's a nice big garden. Big enough for your friends to come over for a BBQ in the summer, or if your family did expand a swingset, trampoline, or a pool could easily be put up and little ones could still run around it freely.

Even though most of the trees have currently lost their leaves due to the time of year, you still feel like this is a lovely place. Lots of light gets into the garden and you know even when all the leaves come back it won't feel suffocating. You really love this house and Alex agrees with you when you say it as you head back inside with him.

“What did you think?” Anna asks as she steps into the conservatory to meet you.

You nod, “It’s lovely.” and Alex nods agreeing with you.

“It really is, especially in spring and summer.” Anna smiles, and she looks out of the window and nonchalantly adds, “That cherry blossom tree makes the garden look beautiful.”

Instantly you and Alex look at each other like you’ve missed something. Because you’re certain you would have seen a cherry blossom tree outside if there was one.

It’s Alex that questions it, “Pardon?”

“That tree at the end of the garden,” Anna points to the big tree with no leaves at the very end of the garden, “It's a cherry blossom… When it's spring it blooms and looks stunning. I’ll find the pictures for you.”

You and Alex look at each other then as the estate agent looks through her iPad and both of you share the same look. The both of you entirely full of hope and you're sure the warm feeling must have hit his chest like it just did yours.

“There you go,” Anna hands her device over to you which shows an image of the back garden with all the trees in bloom.

But there’s a huge stunning cherry blossom tree in the centre of it, and it looks stunning. It looks like the one you painted on the big canvas that Alex secretly bought at your gallery.

Anna adds, “It’s the same as the small one out the front.” and she swipes on her screen which shows a smaller cherry blossom which is clearly the tree on the drive that had lost its leaves.

Both you and Alex look at each other again, this time with smiles tugging on both of your lips and you just know. If this isn’t a sign, you don’t know what is.

In reality, the both of you know that there is no need to look around again because you’ve both fallen completely in love with the house. The cherry blossoms have just confirmed it for you.

Regardless though, just to confirm it, you take another look around all the rooms as if you don’t know that you both want this house. And when you meet Anna at the front door, Alex grabs your hand and you smile at each other before your boyfriend says, “We would like to make an offer please.”

~*~*~*~ 7th April 2021 ~*~*~*~

“Hey!” You smile brightly as you open the door to your cousin and his girlfriend, “Come in, come in.”

“God, I'm so glad to see you Carly.” You say as you pull her into a hug, “I’ve missed you loads.”

“I’ve missed you too.” She says as she hugs you back.

As Alex greets your cousin, you tell her when you pull out of the hug and admire her long hair, “Gosh, every time I see your hair I wish mine was still as long.”

“It’s growing back.” She grins as she twists a strand of your hair.

You chuckle, “Yeah, just not fast enough.”

At that point the both of you turn to the two men. And you can’t help the massive grin that comes to your face when you look at Adam.

“Bro,” You grin as you hug your cousin, “It’s good to see you.

“And you B,” He tells you as he gives you a tight squeeze, “Missed you loads.”

“I know, these lockdowns need to fuck off.” You let him go as he says, “Really hoping that was the last one.”

From January to March this year, there was another lockdown in the UK. One that was a blessing and curse. A curse because the country was suffering from high Covid rates again, but a blessing because in those 3 months you had got the keys to yours and Alex’s house and you finished making it your own.

“I think it will be,” Adam is clearly hoping that was the end of another bout of self isolation too, “Don't think the country will survive another.”

You nod, agreeing, “Can’t wait to get back to normal.”

Adam hums in agreement and then he looks around the hall and around what he can see of your new home and says, “The house is stunning.”

“Ahh thank you.” You smile, the pride washing over you when you take a look around yourself.

Carly asks the both of you, “Did you get everything finished during the lockdown?”

“Yeah, we did.” Alex nods, and he grins at the memories of the both of you covered in paint in domestic bliss.  

Getting this house with you was certainly one of the best ideas he’d ever had and he would change nothing about it for the world. And on the rainy days recently, Alex had loved cuddling up with you in the conservatory where you would read aloud for the both of you as he was playing with the ends of your hair and his eyes would flick between you and the cherry blossom tree that had started to bloom at the bottom of your garden.

“Come on,” You link Carly's arm and say, “We’ll give you the tour.”

You take them round your home and you find yourself really proud to show it off. You’ve made it your own and every room that you walk into, you feel that pride that you felt each time you finished decorating a room during lockdown as you show them your home.

Once you’ve given the tour, you all walk into the kitchen so you can make them a drink. It’s so nice to have them around, you’ve really missed everyone again over the lockdown, you just can’t wait for things to go back to normal now.

And you’re really excited for your little housewarming party in a month's time. You can’t wait to have all your friends back together.

“It's gorgeous B.” Adam smiles as you hand him his cup of tea.

You grin, “Thank you.” as you take your seat next to Alex.

“Was talking about Alex's studio but sure the rest is nice.” Adam teases you.

But you just shake your head and tell him, “You’re a little shit.” as Carly nudges him for you.

All of you chat for a while and you have a really good catch up. You talk of how lockdown treated you all, about how you really hope life will get back to normal soon. You laugh about your funny lockdown stories over lunch and you can’t remember the last time you’ve had so much fun.

Well actually, you can remember the last time. It was in November when you finally got to hang out with all of your favourite people once again back up in your old flat, and Y/B/F and Charlie were back living together as the fact you all now had a vaccine on the horizon made the future look a whole lot brighter.

You felt like your family was whole again. Your Monkeys and your 1975 boys and your best friends all in one place. It felt like a birthday party, you were so happy.

Of course, you still got the flirty banter from George which Alex didn’t mind about, but what made your boyfriend giggle was when Charli started flirting with you too and you all but crumbled at it. Matty was still a terror and the banter between you was still exactly the same, he bullied you for anything and everything and you did the same to him.

That day you took it easy on him though because his girlfriend FKA Twigs aka Taliah had joined the party, but you did tell him that you were really happy he was happy in a moment you had when you joined him for some fresh air when he went out on your old fire escape to smoke. You really hoped for the best for him as he’d been with her for a while by that point and it was easy for you to see he was in love with her.

It was such a good day, and you’re remembering it fondly in an anecdote before you and Alex clear all the plates and make your cousin and his beautiful girlfriend another brew. Once you both return and all of you wonder into your lounge, you notice that the couple take each other's hands and seem to silently communicate with each other before smiling and looking back towards you.

“We’ve got to tell you something.” Carly smiles at the both of you and she grabs Adam’s hand making the statement even more suspenseful.

“Oh?” You smile, feeling like you know what this could be.

You and Y/B/F bet back on that day in November that in the next 6 months Adam would propose to Carly. And Alex knew about this bet too so you both glanced at each other subtly thinking that this really could be it, which makes you hold your breath with a nervous eagerness to hear what they have to say.

But then you’re shocked to your very soul.

“We're having a baby.” Adam grins at you.

Your eyes go wide with excitement, but you lose your words as you look between them, “You’re… you’re…”

“Yeah.” Carly nods, understanding your speechlessness.

“Oh my,” You trail off, immediately tearing up as you and Alex both stand up to hug the parents to be. Both of you say at the same time, “Congratulations.”

Adam makes a beeline for you, which you find really cute because you were going to go for Carly first. But you embrace your cousin so tight and you really don’t want to let him go.

You can hear Alex congratulating Carly whilst you and Adam just silently hug each other as you try not to sob down his ear. You think the hug says a lot more than you ever could.

You love the man in your arms like he’s your brother and you’ve so beyond happy for him. He deserves nothing but happiness and this is going to be the happiest thing to ever happen in your family.

“You’re going to be a Dad.” You cry happy tears as you squeeze him in the tightest hug you ever have, “I’m so happy for you Ads.”

“Thank you B.” Your cousin sounds a little choked up too.

You think about just how amazing he’s going to be with a baby and you can’t help but repeat yourself in a little chuckle of disbelief, “I can’t believe you’re going to be a Dad.”

Adam laughs, “Neither can I.”

“I’m going to spoil baby Hann rotten.” You promise him, already formulating a plan for everything you’re going to do for this child.

“Oh, I have no doubt.” Adam chuckles before you give each other another big squeeze and you let go to see he’s just as teary eyed as you.

You smile and wipe away his tears for him but you don’t bother to do your own because as soon as you look at Carly the waterworks start again. She’s tearing up a bit too as you trap her in a long hug.

“I'm so beyond happy for you, Carly.” You tell her and she thanks you as Alex tells Adam how elated he is for him.

You and Carly hug each other for a while too, probably too long but it feels like the both of you need it. And you’re giggling in each other's arms for a few minutes as you talk about how happy you are for them both and you promise her too that you will spoil her child rotten.

When you finally let go of her, you all sit back down but you’re far more invested in this conversation than you have been with anyone ever before.

Alex asks Carly with a bright smile, “How far are you?”

“Twelve weeks.” She grins.

“Who knows?” You have to ask, because you need to silently scream about this to someone after they have gone.

“Just the parents and now you two.” Adam tells you, “Had to come and tell my sister before the rest of them.”

Once again, the love and pride you feel for them being in your family and now making their own hits you square in your chest. You’re so overjoyed for them. You can’t wait to phone your Aunt as soon as Adam leaves.

“You’re gunna be a proper Auntie.” Adam grins and that makes your heart burst and tears threaten to come to your eyes again.

Alex pulls you into a little side hug as he laughs as he tells your cousin, “You’re going to have her sobbing.”

“I saw your eyes well up Turner, it’s not all on her.” Adam outs him which makes you giggle a little as Alex’s hug brings you some comfort.

“Are you going to find out if it's a little boy or girl?” You have to ask them.

And Carly excitedly tells you, “No, we’re going to wait.”

“I’m so so happy for you.” Is the one thing you keep repeating.

After talking and congratulating them for another 5 minutes, Adam nudges Carly with an excited look on his face and says, “We better go and tell the others.”

“Who are you telling today?” You have to ask so you don’t blab about it to someone you’re not meant to.

“The boys.” Adam grins, “Can’t not tell them.”

You chuckle a little as you think about it, “You’re going to make Matty cry.”

“What an early birthday present for him, ey?” Carly grins as she gets up to hug you, “But we’re telling him last because he will tell the others before we get a chance to.”

Alex laughs hearing that, “Probably a good idea.” as he pulls Adam into a hug.

“Yeah I know my big mouthed best mate well.” Adam laughs, hugging your boyfriend goodbye.

As you hug Carly, you promise her, “Your little one is going to get so spoiled.”

“I know.” You can hear her smile.

And when you pull away from the hug, you look down towards her stomach and you say directly to baby Hann, “I promise I'll give you all the chocolate you want. I’ll be the best Auntie ever.”

Carly giggles at that and when you look back up at her, she assures you, “You will be.”

“I love you,” You have to hug her again after that, “You’re going to be the best Mum in the world and thank you so much for making my little brother happy and giving him his own family.”

“We love you.” Carly tears up hearing you say that and she gives you a tight squeeze before she pulls back and puts a hand on her stomach and says, “And we can’t wait to meet this little one. He’s going to love you just as much as we do.”

“If you need anything please let me know.” You offer, “Anything, honestly.”

“Well, we might rope you into painting some animals or something in the nursery.” Adam grins as he moves so he can hug you now.

“Just say the word, I’ll bring everything, I’ll do anything.” You offer up your services, as it would be an honour to do for them. You can already picture the room that they would use in their house, it will be so cute.

“You’re going to be the best Dad.” You tell Adam as you squeeze him tightly.

“Don’t make me cry any more.” Adam laughs, “It’s been an emotional few months.”

“I bet.” You giggle before you tell him sincerely, “I love you so much Bro.”

Adam squeezes you tightly, “I love you too B.”

After the couple leave, you and Alex have a silent scream together, entirely buzzing that the family is going to be extended. Alex can’t help but feel like it's his brother that’s having a baby too, he feels just as happy as when all the other Monkeys told him that they were expecting.

But this hitting you so hard as it's your actual family has him feeling the joy even more intensely, and Alex fully intends to marry you one day so Adam is his actual family now too. Both of you know it’s the lives of being an only child that makes it feel even more special, but you’ve never felt so happy for someone before.

“Auntie Y/N/N and Uncle Alex, ey?” Alex brings you out of your thoughts. “Great ring to it.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” You grin and you get a little emotional again.

But that happens for the rest of the day. When you phone your Aunt up, you get in your feelings about hoping that you’ll be as good of an auntie as her to baby Hann and both of you just cry on the phone to each other for a long while as you wait for the others to find out.

You cry when each of the boys phone you after they have been told. It’s unsurprising they started with Ross as he is the most calm and collected of them all. And then they went to George and then Matty and by the time Matty found out it was about 6pm.

Instead of phoning you like he was going to, Matty drove to yours and Alex’s house in the rain so he could get excited with you both in person. And the three of you really did. You were planning gifts for them, Matty had a few ideas of things he wanted to commission you to paint for them (things you will absolutely not be charging for).

The other boys came round later in the evening too to join you and you all had the best time. You did phone Adam and Carly to come back too but they were driving up to Sheffield so they could tell Y/B/F and Charlie before going back to Manchester to tell more of your family.

All of you toast to Adam, Carly, and Baby Hann and the cutest family in the world that they will be. And with how much everyone in your house adores that couple, you know you’re all going to be the happiest family. You have no doubt at all.

~*~*~*~ 11th June 2021 ~*~*~*~

“Do you fancy a road trip?” You question your boyfriend as he stops playing his guitar. You walk into his music room and stand behind him as he’s on his stool to hug him from behind and you pre-warn him, “It’s a long one.”

Alex asks you curiously as he stops playing, “Where to?”

“Well it’s this place right, and someone wrote a song about it.” You try and fail to hold your grin as you answer him without actually answering him, “But it’s going to take us more than a forty-five minute drive to get there but not quite a seven hour flight.”

Alex puts his guitar down hearing and twists around on his stool. You see a surprised yet pleased look on his face, but his smile is bright when he wraps his arms around your waist and asks, “You wanna go back home?”

“Yeah,” You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck as you smile. “I need to go to my old house. My tenants are moving out so I need to decorate and get it back on the market.”

Your boyfriend's smile gets so much bigger hearing that and he excitedly grins, “So we’re going back to 505?”

“Yes.” You giggle loving the grin on his face, “About a week's trip if you’re willing to help me decorate?”

Alex leans forward to kiss you sweetly before nodding, “Course I will.” because there isn’t a chance he would miss going back to where it all started.

“Amazing.” You grin and because you’re a fool and you’re completely and hopelessly in love with the man in front of him, you quickly sit on his lap and shout over to your Amazon speaker, “Echo, play 505 by Arctic Monkeys.”  

And Alex chuckles as the song begins to play before he pulls you into a kiss.

~*~*~*~

Walking into your old home after your tenants handed you the keys back was a little strange. Obviously the place had been gutted and it was back at its barebones, almost exactly how you left it years ago.

Alex joined you at the front door after the family drove away and he held your hand as you unlocked the house and stepped inside. It’s been years since you actually had to come back into this house, and it’s a little eerie being back.

Memories of your childhood and teenage years flood back to you, both happy and sad ones as you both walk around the lounge, dining room, and kitchen. This home ultimately just makes you miss your Dad though, that's the overall feeling when you first walk in.

The memories of you and your friends chilling out in the lounge or kitchen come back to you and make you smile as you wonder back around the rooms that used to be the only home you knew. You find yourself getting really nostalgic as you walk around.

You only have very few memories of your Dad, but the ones you remember of him playing with you when you were a child, you tell Alex as you pass the spots in your old home that they happened in. Alex smiles and asks you questions about him and you answer all of them. You love that he wants to know more about him and what he was like.

Alex was always one of the few friends that always had asked what your Dad was like and that was something you appreciated because you didn’t want to bury his memory like your Mum usually does. So you tell him anecdotes that you either remember yourself or that you’ve been told about as you explore the hold house.

The stories were more family based whilst you were down the stairs, but as soon as you go up the stairs and you open the door to your old bedroom, you go silent. With Alex only a step behind you, the wave of nostalgia really hits you. For the briefest second, when you opened the door you could picture it as your bedroom again.

The old box TV constantly on the music channel in the corner, the low bed, your drawings pinned to your wall, your fairy lights hanging around your window, sheets upon sheets of poetry you printed off for free at school littering your floor. As you step into the room, you can practically picture everything clear as day.

Something feels lighter about being in the room now than it did the last time you were in it. You remember not wanting to be in this house so badly when you left it in 2008, but now it feels less bitter and it only brings back the good memories.

Memories must be flooding back to Alex too, because as you look around Alex watches you as he leans against your door frame and he smiles as he quietly says, “Where it all began, hey?”

Your cheeks go hot hearing that and you try not to grin like an idiot. The memories of that night really hit you hard as you're standing in this room and it's unsurprising when you get a little flustered and have to look away from him.

“How long after did you write the song?” You have to ask as you sit on the edge of the bed frame that the family had left behind.

“God,” Alex chuckles, “It was in the drafts for a while.”

Your boyfriend walks into the room and sits down on the floor in front of you then, looking up at you as he recalls, “I think some of it straight after… But it was mostly when I started thinking about you again when we became really close friends that it got all horny.”

“Teenage you was something else.” You giggle.

“Was just thinking back to us in here every time I saw you and my mind went straight down the gutter.” Alex owns up to it. “Rarely stopped thinking about you Angel.”

You smile hearing your nickname being said in the room he first said it in. But you can’t help but point that out, “You called me that for the first time in here.”

“Almost in the exact same positions, just swapped.” Alex grins, remembering it fondly.

You hum in amusement, “Yeah, didn’t take me giving you head to call it me this time.”

“God,” Alex groans a little, playfully saying, “That was the best night of my life.”

“Not exactly what I recall you saying last weekend, but sure, we will go with the night we lost our virginities.” You laugh a little then as Alex gets to his knees to shuffle forward to kiss you and shut you up.

He kisses you like you’ve both got all the time in the world, which you guess you do. Your fingers lace into his hair which if styled differently, he could probably look like he did back when the both of you lost your virginities.

Alex playfully bites your bottom lip to pull you into another kiss when you went to pull away from him, but you indulge him for a little longer. You try your best not to smile and ruin the moment but it gets a little difficult because you’re so happy.

Your heart feels like it could burst out of your chest with how much you love the man that’s kissing you. You just know he’s it for you, your everything, and the fact you're in the room where it all started has you a little emotional.

When you eventually pull away, you lean your forehead against his just to savour the moment with him.

After a silent minute, it’s Alex who asks as he pulls back and looks around the blank room,  “So where do you want to start?”

“Trip to B&Q and get the beige and white paints for all the rooms and we paint the days away?” You think out loud.

Alex nods approving of your plan and he smiles as he sits back on the floor.

“Sorry it’s a little boring.” You apologise in advance.

You know this won’t be as much fun as you both decorating your house because you’re basically taking the house's character away to let whoever ends up moving in to have a blank canvas to make their own. It will be a lot of boring white, grey, and beige painting of walls for the both of you.

But Alex shakes his head and assures you, “Nothing’s boring with you.”

That makes your heart ache with the love that you have for him again. And instead of saying it for the millionth time today, you show him in your own special way.

You smile as you tap your collarbone and you adore the way that your boyfriend’s face lights up completely. Alex’s own heart swells seeing you tap the words he once wrote you that have proudly displayed on your body and whilst he wants to tell you that he loves you verbally again, he settles for smiling back at you and tapping his own collarbone.

~*~*~*~ June 24th 2021 ~*~*~*~

Today you’ve given yourself the afternoon off painting 505 because it’s your birthday tomorrow and Y/B/F asked if you’d come round and see her which you and Alex currently are doing.

You’ve made plans to go out with them both for your birthday tomorrow and you’d had a great catch up with them. But you and Alex are currently in your old bedroom boxing up the last of your things to move down to your new home.

Both you and your boyfriend were left to do this after your best friend and her fiancé asked if you wouldn’t mind. Of course with not living with her at all anymore, you said it was fine and going through your stuff really wasn’t a hardship. It felt like you were going through your old memories with each thing that you picked up.

Alex is of course being a gem and helping you. And he’s currently taking all of your old books from your shelves and boxing them up for you as you collect the last of your shit from the drawers under your desk.

You’ve been going through things for about half an hour now, and you’ve already filled 3 boxes of stuff when Alex asks, “You’ve never read this have you?”

And when you turn to see which book he means, you immediately know he’s right. You never ended up reading that book he gave you.

It was the book he hand delivered to you that day you were packing to go back over to your Aunt and Uncles for their wedding. The same day Matty came around a little after him and they both made you try your dress on for them, and you remember just thanking Alex for the book and putting it straight on your shelf where you clearly forgot to pick it back up and read it.

“No, I guess we sent that many to each other I never got around to that one. I'm sorry.” You apologise as you walk over to him.

“It’s okay…”Alex smiles, genuinely not minding as it was only an old poetry book at the end of the day. Lot of memories in this book.”

“How'd you mean?” You ask.

Alex taps the book a few times before he reveals, “This was sort of the final nail in the coffin for me and Alexa.”

Of all things, you really weren’t expecting Alex to say that.

“What?” You ask a little dumbfounded.

Alex sighs like he’s finally just got something off his chest, “Yeah.” And you see that he then checks a page near the back of the book and reads over whatever it is before he smiles slightly and closes it again.

Still confused about why a book Alex ended up giving to you helped end his relationship with his ex, you end up needing to get clarity, “I thought that yours and Alexa’s schedules-”

“It was that.” Alex jumps in, confirming your right, “But when she came back to the flat in New York when we were on the break before we properly split, just after we were talking things out she found that book and she read the quote in the back that I annotated about a month after we started on the break of sorts.”

“I don’t remember you telling me about a break.” You say honestly, because you just remember how heart wrenched he was about the split.

“I didn’t want to tell you.” Alex tells you honestly, “I didn’t tell anyone, until now I guess.”

“I loved her but I wasn’t in love with her anymore and this proved it.” Alex shakes the book in his hand, not looking sad about anything, maybe just a little nostalgic which you understand.

But you can’t say you’re not curious when Alex explains, “She wasn’t angry or upset with what she saw, probably the reason why we’re still on alright terms because we’d been growing apart for a while before that anyway… But yeah, she read that and she was moving her stuff the same afternoon, and the day after I was on the phone to you telling you I was coming home.”

It seems a lot to process as you’ve not heard about any of this before now. But you have to know what’s been lying dormant on your shelf all these years.

“What did you write?” You ask curiously.

Alex hands you the book, his finger holding the page open for you, “Read it.”

And when you open it, you really weren’t expecting what you found.

~~~

“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self-respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be. I love her and that’s the beginning and end of everything.”

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

This is how I feel about you Angel, always and forever. AT x

~~~

“You're an idiot.” You shake your head as you read the quote and his writing over and over again.

Alex knows he is. The month that he and Alexa went on their break he had been leaning on your friendship so much more and just from that month and every other part of your history, it made him realise his huge mistake.

And reading that poetry book that he found in particular which was all about love, it made him think so much of what he had felt for you in the past and what never really went away, and not what he was feeling for Alexa anymore. It was when he knew he needed to call it off for good.

Alexa just happened to pick up the book to see if it was hers but when she opened it and saw that at the back, they both knew it was time. Time to separate and go back home and for him to deal with his real feelings.

Alex doesn’t expect it, but when you look back up at him he sees that you’re a little teary eyed when you say, “You could have saved us a lot of time if you told me I needed to read this back when you handed it to me.”

Your heart feels like it's swelling and aching with longing in your chest as you tell your boyfriend, “This is the shit I dreamed of happening to me when I was younger.”

Alex pulls you into a hug, and you hold him tightly still not fully believing that has been on your shelf for the past decade and you’d not once touched it.

Your boyfriend makes you chuckle when he playfully says, “I think it’s your fault you didn’t read it sooner, if I'm honest.”

Knowing he’s only joking, you chuckle as you say earnestly, “I really wish I had done now.” and you hold him impossibly closer.

“It's always been you Y/N/N,” Alex tells you, and he kisses your temple before he admits, “Just took me a long while to realise it.”

You genuinely have to take a few minutes in his arms to process it, and when you eventually do, you look up at the love of your life and tell him once again, “I love you, Shakespeare.”

“I love you so much more, Angel.” Your boyfriend smiles before he leans down and kisses you sweetly.

Just as you’re about to let each other go and get back to your separate jobs, a voice shouting the both of you stops you.

“You two best not be shagging in the baby's future room!” You hear Y/B/F yell but it makes you and Alex stop dead.

You’re frozen in your spot for a solid few seconds just looking at your boyfriend as you both process the words you just heard. You have to ask him, “Did she just?”

“She did.” Alex answers immediately and he looks to your old bedroom door.

Both of you walk towards it and immediately walk back into the lounge seeing Y/B/F and Charlie sitting there with grins on their faces. You don’t have to ask because you know from the look on her face that she said that on purpose and that she is pregnant.

But you don’t blame Alex for wanting the confirmation, “Are you?”

Both of them nod before saying, “We’re pregnant.”

The way you dive for Y/B/F would be funny to her if she wasn’t already getting teary. The hug she receives is the best and biggest you’ve probably ever given each other but how can you not when your best friend since you were 3 years old has just told you that she’s expecting her own baby.

This is again another thing you really weren’t expecting to happen today and the mascara running down your cheeks is enough proof of that. You sit and cry with your best friend for a solid five minutes as you get information out of her.

“You can’t tell anyone yet, it's too early, but I missed my period and only just realised.” She tells you as you wipe each other's tears away, “Charlie got us in with his friend for a quick scan after the test came back positive… I’m ten weeks.”

Tears are freely running down your face when you ask, “When did you find out?”

“Yesterday.” She tells you, “I was going to phone you, but then Charlie phoned his friend and got us the appointment for yesterday afternoon just to make sure everything was fine because I didn’t know and I’ve had a few drinks this past month.”

“And everythings okay?” You have to know before she continues explaining.

“Yeah, everything's fine.” Y/B/F nods, getting emotional again as she confirms, “We’re all fine and healthy. ”

Your best friend grabs your hand as she continues, “And then I was going to tell you to come last night but you’d already texted asking if you could come today and I wanted to tell you both in person.”

She looks at Alex then and you look at him for the first time since you found out and it makes you more emotional when you see he’s all teary eyed for her. You can see the love he has for her plain as day on his features and you feel like you probably look the exact same. This is just as important to you as finding out Adam is having a baby.

You get a little nostalgic, thinking back to the days when you used to think about this moment in your futures, and you ask your best friend, “Remember when we always thought we’d both find out if one of us was pregnant when we’re with each other?”

“I was telling Charlie.” She laughs nodding, and looks at her fiance who looks just as emotional as the rest of you.

“She said you’d be pissed she wasn’t with you when she did the test.” The nurse tells you with a little laugh.

“Not angry, don't worry.” You chuckle and wipe away your tears, “Just very very happy.”

And after you give your best friend a kiss on her cheek you get up to give Alex a moment with her whilst you open your arms up to her fiance.

“Charlie, give me a hug please.” And he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you tightly.

You hug and talk for a little while as you tell him how happy you are for the both of them. And of course you cry a little, but for you and Charlie that’s standard. That’s how your friendship began and you don’t plan on changing anything about that.

And then you think about what brought him into your life and you can’t believe that it was almost 8 years ago now.

“Don’t shout at me for saying it, but I really never thought I would say it and actually mean it,” And you’re entirely honest when you say, “But I’ve never been so happy that car crash happened.”

And you do actually mean it. You’d go through it all again if it meant everyone in your life would be as happy as they are right now.

“Shut up, you idiot.” Y/B/F scorns you straight away but you don’t care. But she does make you smile when she says, “I would have found him anyway... It was fate we would meet. I have no doubt about it.”

“I do too.” You laugh a little, having no doubt about it. But then you look at your best friend and really look at her and how happy she is and tears spring to your eyes again. You can’t help but tell her, “God, I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” She pulls you in for another big hug and you wish you could stay in it forever.

You truly love this woman more than any other on the planet. Yes, you always call George your soulmate but in reality it’s this woman in your arms that has got you through every part of your life. And you’ll love her forever for being there for you as much as she has.

You can’t wait for her to have this baby and eventually marry Charlie who is the person that makes her the happiest in the world… Wait, the wedding.

“And before the wedding,” You shake your head and look down at her stomach and tap it gently, gently scorning the baby, “You’re ruining the hen party I’ve planned out, young one.”

They are due to get married in 2 months time. After all the push backs they have had because of the pandemic, you know they won't postpone again, but this means you definitely can’t be doing the things you’ve planned for the hen party. But you guess you’ll let your unborn niece or nephew off just this once.

Charlie, Alex, and Y/B/F laugh hearing you say that and you chuckle a little too as your best friend promises you, “We will go all out as soon as they arrive, I promise… Two drinks and I'll be plastered then after not drinking for so long.”

After an afternoon full of crying and telling each other you love each other a million times, your best friend hugs tightly as you’re saying goodbye to each other and whispers, “Happy early birthday present.”

You grin as you try your best not to burst into more tears, you’re so happy, “Best birthday ever.”

~*~*~*~ July 6th 2021 ~*~*~*~

For the last month with only a few days off for your birthday, you’ve been finishing up 505 and you must admit, for days you couldn’t wait to be done. Decorating was tiring but also really fun when you have your best friend who’s also your boyfriend at your side helping you out.

Alex made everything fun. Whether that just be his playful nature or keeping you motivated with the amazing playlist he put together to keep you going it always did the trick. His flirting was also encouraging, even if sometimes it ended up hindering your progress.

For example, when you both got to decorating your old bedroom, the flirting was off the charts. Your cheeks were hot all day and it got no better when you ended up having a small fight with the paints that ended up with both of your clothes coming off and paint ended up everywhere. On your legs, on your arms, on your face, and other places that the both of you found comical when you had to wash it off each other in the shower.

The way each of you could tell where your hands had been was the funniest part of it and it made your cheeks heat up as you could practically still feel his touch all over you with the visual reminder helping the memories come back.

And whilst that was a fun day, the rest of the days all seemed to blur into one long and boring project. You just wanted to add more colour to everything but you knew you couldn’t for the sake of the new tenants.

But today is the day. You’ve finally finished painting the entire house.

Everything looks clean and brand new and you’re so fucking thankful its all done. And you can tell Alex is too.

You lean back into your boyfriend as he wraps his arms around your waist and hugs you from behind. Smiling at the trail of kisses he presses onto your shoulder and up your neck, you praise the both of you, “We finally finished.”

“I think we should celebrate.” Alex says as he leaves a teasing kiss on your neck.

“We can’t shag again, Al.” You shake your head, knowing that you really can’t.

Yes the time in your old bedroom was fun, but you’re decorating for it to be someone else's home. You can’t defile it before you put it back up to rent out.

He laughs into your ear which makes you chuckle too, but you feel him shake his head, “No, look outside… The weather is stunning. Let's go get some food from the shop and a bottle of something and let's go to the park. We can’t stay in here, the paint fumes will kill us off.”

You smile knowing that ‘go to the park’ means go to your spot. And you think it’s a good idea.

“Get a taxi back to the flat later then?” You crane your neck so you can look back at him.

“Yeah,” Alex nods, “It's going to be a stunning evening. Let's grab a blanket and some wine and food and let's just stay in the park.”

You’re grinning like an idiot, “Yeah, good idea.”

And the both of you are sitting under your cherry blossom tree within an hour of leaving 505. The air is warm and you end up having a picnic of sorts to start off with.

Both of you got a lot of food from the shop before coming here and you both indulged in all the food you chose. You put the blanket down underneath the tree that is still looking glorious and such a vibrant pink in today's sunlight, and after the picnic you and Alex lay there for a while just relaxing and listening to music.

When you were packing up the last of your stuff at Y/B/F and Charlie’s the other day, you picked up Persuasion to reread and you brought that with you to finish off too. Alex had his own book he was reading so the both of you read peacefully for a long while.

Eventually the two of you needed more light as the sun kept shifting, so the both of you moved to the bench after a little while. And you lay down across it with your head resting on Alex’s thigh as you both continue to read.

Absent-mindedly, you end up holding each other's hand when you get immersed into your novels as Alex’s hand hangs across the back of the bench and you’re ever so slightly reaching up and keep interlacing your fingers with his. It’s peaceful and it's beautiful and you wouldn’t change anything about it and neither would your boyfriend.

The peace is only disturbed if either of you speak up, which isn’t all that often, but when you reread the letter in the book you just get the urge to want to read it out loud so your boyfriend can hear the beautiful words that are on the page as well, “Al, listen to this-”

“What's it about first?” Alex has to ask, needing even just a little bit of context so he can appreciate what you clearly think is good enough for you to want to tell him out loud.

“You’ve not read Persuasion? Austen?” You look up at him and ask curiously, thinking he would have definitely read this one in his time.

But you're left a little surprised when he shakes his head, “No.”

“You want me to tell you?” You ask and Alex smiles and nods prompting you to continue. You explain to him, “Long story short, she was persuaded not to marry this man nearly a decade ago and now he’s just written this to her and it's everything.”

“Okay go on,” Alex prompts you, and Alex listens and watches as you read it for him.

“I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed.” You trail off a little before the end of the letter Frederick writes to Anne.

You look up into Alex’s eyes and ask, “How beautiful is that? Austen was a fucking genius.”

Alex is already smiling down at you, but he nods, “She really was.”

You talk about it for a little bit before going back to the books again. But silently the both of you think over the line ‘I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it’ a little bit more because you find it so relatable in so many different ways.

But being here with Alex by your side now, you wouldn’t change anything about your own story for the world. You’re the happiest you’ve ever been here with your boyfriend and you love him so much you can sometimes barely find the words to describe how he makes you feel.

The amount of times over the past year you’ve stared at the page in your poetry diary for a good ten minutes wondering where on earth to start writing about how you feel about Alex is something you’ve lost count of. At this point, he is just an extension of yourself. You love him so much that your heart aches in the best way for him all the time.

Even as you spend your day with him doing nothing but reading out here, in your spot in the park, it’s not a waste of a day. And that’s because he’s by your side. You adore spending time with him no matter what you’re doing.  

You end up finishing your book and sitting up beside Alex where you rest your head on his shoulder and look out across the stunning view of Sheffield. It really is a gorgeous place that you grew up in. You miss being here all the time but you’re happy that you always have the excuse to come back up here to see your best friend and to come back to this spot which means the world to you.

Alex ends up putting his book down not long after you and the both of you watch the world go by as the sun slowly starts descending making the sky change colours with it. As it does, Alex starts playing with the jewellery you have on which isn’t all that different from what your quiet moments in your own home end up like.

But this time, your boyfriend smiles as he twists your Death Ramps ring on your little finger with one hand and he hooks his finger into the bracelet he bought you which has the Only Ones Who Know lyrics engraved onto it. Alex sounds really happy as he says, “I’m really happy you still wear these, you know?”

“Well,” You respond playfully, “The person who gave them me means a lot to me.”

Alex smiles and plays along, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nod in confirmation, your smile never leaving your lips.

“Sounds like a great guy.” Alex tries not to grin but fails.

“He is.” You confirm for him, “The best I could ask for really... My boyfriend and everything now.”

“Lucky man.” Alex smiles.

You him like you’re not so sure but only because you want to say, “Not as lucky as me.”

The small facade ends when Alex leans in to kiss you, and you kiss him back enjoying the cute moment between you. It’s short and sweet, but it serves the purpose despite the both of you grinning like fools in love through the entire kiss.

“I love you so much.” Alex tells you as he looks into your eyes.

“I love you too, Darling.” You smile, not having called him that nickname in a short while.

“Thank god,” Alex sighs in relief, and you’re about to ask why the playfulness until he continues and it all becomes clear. Despite the big cheesy grin on his face, you know that he isn’t joking when he asks, “Because I really wanted to ask if you’d marry me?”

And then Alex lifts a boxed ring up from beside him and offers it to you, his smile never once wavering.

Yours becomes a million times bigger, as the fact he has a ring in his hand means he’s been planning this for God only knows how long, and the moment was perfect. You don’t waste another second before giving him your answer.

“I’d love to marry you.” You nod, your heart beating erratically in your chest.

“Thank god.” Alex chuckles and before he lets you lean forward and kiss him, he grabs your left hand and he quickly takes the ring out of the box before sliding it onto your finger.

As soon as it’s on, you kiss Alex like your life depends on it. Everything you’re feeling right now is poured into the kiss and it is just pure joy and complete love and adoration for the man you now get to one day marry.

You love him with the whole of your heart and you truly want nothing more than to be his officially. Because you always have been his, one way or another.

You kiss each other until you have no breath left and until you can’t keep the smile off your face as you’re too desperate to tell him you love him over and over again. Alex doesn’t hesitate to keep telling you either.

But once the both of you process the moment enough to tell each other something other than your love for one another, Alex lifts your hand up which is now home to your engagement ring and he asks, “Do you like it?”

You look at it properly now, and it’s just like what you’d always dreamed of sitting on your ring finger. Taking it in and seeing just how happy your fiance is has you telling him, “It’s beautiful.”

Truthfully, you don’t think you’ll ever forget how big Alex’s grin gets as he simply says, “Had to match you.”

And you’re unsure how your heart doesn’t burst there and then. The ache of too much love for the person who’s been your best friend for so many years whilst simultaneously being so much more really overcomes you.

You almost want to scorn him when he gets in there before you to say again, “I love you so much, Angel.”

“I love you so much more Shakespeare.” You giggle, “I can’t wait to marry you.”

Alex nods, chuckling to himself as he reiterates those words back to you before he cups your face and pulls you into another kiss of a lifetime.

Austen really got it right. Your heart is more Alex’s than your own at this point. You’ve been through it all together and despite everything, he’s here by your side and you love him with everything you have.

You’re his Angel. He’s your Shakespeare.

Each other’s everything from the very start.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Thank you so so much to everyone who has stuck with me as I’ve been writing this fic. It really means a lot and I really hope you enjoyed the story and Wheels and Alex’s ending! Their story doesn’t really stop here… I mentioned a surprise that you’d all shout at me about and the surprise is that a small part of Alex and Wheels ending has been posted on my main account since before I ever posted the first part of NRIACC (told you you’d shout at me lol)… That little oneshot All Of You is a little extra part of their ending that I hope you can read/reread now and enjoy a little more. Can also catch Wheels and Alex’s ending continuing from a distance in Chicken Shop Date and they will appear in Part 5 of it when it eventually comes out (it’ll be faster than this fic I promise).

Anyway, just want to again say a huge thank you for sticking with my mental story and I really really hope you enjoyed the ending x

Note: I picked a few poems out for Wheels poems (wish i could have said i wrote them all but I'm not that good). I wrote the one that was about Matty. My friend @drinkurkombucha​ wrote the poems that have titles above them, and the others I found on Instagram. Full credit to the writers of those ones, a few were by courtney peppernell others were found on the lovequotes instagram page.

Taglist: @psychkunox​​​​​​​ @sofiaaraee​​​​​​​ @thewheeler​​ @cold-hands-cold-eyesss​​​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo​​​​​​​ @vroboat​​​​​​​ @hoodskillerqueen​​​​​​ @woahhealy​​​​​​​ @emmaheg1005 @belledawnidk​​​​​​​ @elen-alambil​​​​​​​ @megann-duff​​​ @alexsvacuumcleaner​​​​​​​ @bshelley322​​​​​​​ @g0thwat3rr​​​​​​​ @cassieinnit​​​​​​​ @ohmyolympusssywp​​ @filling-thevoid​​​​​​ @xqueenkt​​​​​​​ @indierock4ever @amturners​​​​​​​ @alovesreading​​​​​​​​

[amhrosina]

Two Ghosts Part 1A (Frank Castle x OC)

Series Masterlist - Read Premise, Warnings, etc. here!

Pairing: Frank Castle x Original Female Character

Rating: Mature

Read it on: AO3, Wattpad // Follow me on: Instagram

Previous: Prologue // Next: Part 1B - Always an Angel

(1A) - Chemtrails

Violence is a nasty business. Lucia learned this fact rather quickly after everything went down, and the learning curve was a bitch. For example, one of the first things she learned was that knives are great weapons if you know how to use them, but if you don’t have the upper body strength to defend yourself, anyone bigger than you should be brought down using a larger (or more powerful) weapon. The scar that stretched from her elbow to her shoulder taught her that one.

She also learned that guns are only as useful as you make them. She learned this when a 9-millimeter was leveled at her head by a person that clearly didn’t want to be anywhere near the weapon he was holding. That was the first time she shot someone, but it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Finally, one of the most important things she learned, and this was actually the first thing she ever learned regarding the world of violence, was to empty the clip into whoever she was shooting at. Frank had taught her that one, though he hadn’t meant to teach Lucia anything at all about his world. It was a slip-up that would ultimately end up saving her life, though Frank wouldn’t ever hear about it.

Lucia shook the thoughts from her head, returning to the man in front of her, slumped forward and bleeding all over the khaki-colored pants he wore. Blood and sweat coated his skin, but she found it hard to feel sympathetic for his swollen, black and blue face as he spit on her shoes in disgust. She rolled her eyes. The endeavor had already taken too long, and he hadn’t given her any real information yet. She didn’t let the thoughts in that told her it might’ve been a waste of an evening.

“I don’t think you heard me correctly, Reginald.” Lucia fiddled with the knife in her hands, running the edge of it along the pad of her finger – not hard enough to cut, but dramatic enough to remind the man what she’d do to him if he didn’t start talking soon. “Tell me where they are, and I’ll consider letting you go.”

He eyed the blade with his one good eye, scanning the hilt of it before grimacing. She rested her chin on her fist, smiling at his disgust. Impatience curled in her gut, but she knew not to let him see it on her face.

“I already told you,” he spat, baring his teeth, “They don’t tell me anything. I’m just a lackey! Bottom of the food chain!”

“Hmm,” Lucia leaned forward, resting her hands on either side of Reginald so that she was face to face with him. “The problem is that I don’t believe you. And I’m growing impatient. The longer we sit here, the less useful you are to me. Do you want to know what will happen when I lose what little patience I have left, Reginald? I bet you don’t, but I’ll tell you anyway.” 

She pulled her pistol out of the holster tied around her thigh and clicked the safety off. Aiming it directly at Reginald’s forehead, she tilted her head and cocked the gun. Reginald furiously shook his head, eyes widening.

“N-no, wait.” He tugged at the ropes around his wrists, a fruitless endeavor that amused Lucia greatly. Frank had taught her how to tie those knots. They wouldn’t be coming untied anytime soon. 

“You’ve got about fifteen seconds before I pull the trigger, Reggie. I’d start talking if I were you.”

Reginald was visibly shaking, whimpering every time Lucia shifted her weight. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” he yelped, shaking his head. “I don’t know anything! I swear!”

“Seven seconds, Reginald.”

“WAIT!” A single bead of sweat slid down his cheek, mimicking a tear. “You don’t understand. They’ll kill me if I say anything!”

“Three, two, on-”

“Okay! Okay, relax! I’ll tell you!” 

Lucia tilted her head, waiting for an explanation. Reginald sagged in his chair, relieved.

Lucia sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes. “You’ll die either way if you don’t start talking.”

“There’s a warehouse.” He started, eyeing the gun still aimed at his forehead. “It’s by a loading dock off the Hudson. Only a guard or two. I’m not supposed to say anything-” Lucia’s finger twitched toward the trigger, causing Reginald to speak faster, “But the boss keeps a lot of important shit there!”

“Like what?” Lucia tilted her head, this time in curiosity. 

“Like documents! A paper trail! They’re importing some black market level shit through the loading dock. Like…people.”

This didn’t surprise Lucia, but it wasn’t the information she was looking for. If anything, she could just pass the information along to Matt. 

Lucia raised an eyebrow. “And I’m just supposed to believe that you’re telling me the truth?”

“Did you forget that you’re holding a gun to my head?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “Why would I lie?”

“You just told me they’d kill you if you told me anything.” She shrugged. “If I were you, I’d lie.” 

“So I’m a dead man, either way, it seems.” He groaned, trying again to pull his wrists free from their binding. 

“Maybe not.” Lucia lowered the gun slightly, aiming at Reginald’s thigh. “Will any of the documents lead me to Frank Castle’s killer?” 

And there it was. The real reason Lucia was doing all of this. The real reason Lucia was doing anything these days. It was a gamble, revealing her true motive to a known enemy, but her patience had begun mirroring a thin layer of ice. That is to say, take one wrong step and suddenly you’re under freezing water, struggling to find the surface. 

Reginald must have seen the conflict in her face, because he suddenly and inexplicably began to laugh. It began as a low chuckle, building more and more until he was cackling in her face. Hatred seethed deep in her chest, and it took all the discipline she could muster to not raise the gun to his head and pull the trigger.

“You’re the bitch we used to draw Castle out, aren’t you? You’re Lucia?”

Lucia involuntarily bared her teeth at him. What little composure she had left was slipping through her fingers quickly. Matt’s words echoed in her brain. 

It wasn’t your fault, Lucia.

“Shut the fuck up.” She finally grunted, raising the gun to his head again. 

“It worked so well. Did you hear how he didn’t fight back? Not even when the knife started slicing into him. All because of you.”

“I’m going to kill you-”

Reginald’s laugh cut her off, spurring an anger so white-hot and raw that Lucia could barely keep the gun pointed straight at him. Her body shook with rage at his words, even though she knew what he was saying was true.

“You’re trying to, what, avenge him?” Reginald snorted. “The anger, the rage, the...violence. None of it will make you feel any better. At the end of the day, he’s still gone and you’re still alone.”

The gun went off before she could fully comprehend what she was doing. Again. Again. Again. Reginald’s body jerked with every additional shot before finally sagging in the chair, lifeless and horribly disfigured. The bullet holes dripped with blood, soaking the fabric of his shirt in a deep crimson. Lucia watched it drip to the floor, breathing heavily. Her ears rang with the echo of the gunshots. 

It wasn’t the first man she’d killed, and it wouldn’t be the last, but it was the first time she’d ever lost control like that. She backed away from the body, hurling herself across the room. The gun, still warm in her hands, clattered to the floor. She’d just killed someone at the sheer mention of Frank’s name. Was this really the path she was on?

A siren, probably miles away but still noticeable, prodded Lucia out of her head, urging her to hurry. She stuffed the gun in her waistband again and turned to leave. When she got to the door, she paused and looked back at Reginald’s body for a brief moment. She didn’t know him, nor did she care to learn much about him before he became her mark, but she knew he probably had someone somewhere that would miss him. Most people did, even if they were inexplicably tied to the mob.

The ones who love us will miss us.

Matt’s words, spoken in a hushed whisper at Frank’s funeral, echoed in her head again. Yes, she thought, the ones who love him do miss him.

-

The sky was tinged a pale pink as dawn made its way across Manhattan. Lucia watched as the neighborhood around her came to life - grates being thrown open, doors being unlocked, people everywhere, commuting. The world, it seemed, was hellbent on continuing.

Lucia sighed, annoyed that the interrogation had taken so much of her night away from her. She’d have to wait until later that night to seek out the warehouse Reginald had mentioned. It wasn’t a huge lead, but she had done more for less information before. 

The idea of heading home to her empty apartment, knowing she wouldn’t find sleep for hours, was unbearable. Lucia had always been a night owl, sleeping in intervals throughout the day and working at night, but sleep had been eluding her more and more lately. Even if she could convince her body to rest, she couldn’t shut her brain off, and the last thing she wanted to do was go home and stare at her ceiling for three hours.

She turned left and headed in the opposite direction of her apartment, opting to visit the diner instead. She wasn’t hungry, but they had heat and decent coffee and wouldn’t kick her out after sipping on coffee for a couple hours.

The waitress behind the counter threw up her hand in a wave when Lucia stepped through the door. The place was nearly deserted, only occupied by a couple of fellow regulars, one of whom grunted in Lucia’s direction as she passed by him. It was the only greeting she’d ever gotten from him, but she didn’t mind.

“Hey, Stan.” She mumbled in response, heading for the familiar red and white booth in the back corner. 

She slid into the seat and dug through her backpack, searching for the phone she rarely turned on these days. Her eyes snagged on the book she couldn’t bear to part with just yet: an old, tattered copy of the play, Hamlet. She considered pulling it out, opening it for the first time since Frank had left her, and then shook the thought from her head. She was fond of it, yes, but it physically pained her to think about it for too long.

Kayla, the waitress, appeared with a fresh cup of coffee moments later.

“You doin’ alright?” She smiled warmly, placing the coffee in front of Lucia.

“I’m fine.” Lucia returned with a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes.

“Anything else I can get you besides the coffee? It’s still considered Tuesday in the register, so the pancakes are ha-”

“Half off, yeah.” Lucia finished for her, nodding. “Just the coffee for now, I think.”

“I always forget you used to work nights.” Kayla said, awkwardly shuffling the menus in her hands. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Kayla.”

Lucia genuinely appreciated Kayla’s attempts at being friendly with her. She always asked how Lucia was doing in a way that told Lucia she really meant it and wanted to know. But Lucia didn’t have the energy she once had to maintain friendships. She’d lost contact with her college friends right around the time that she’d dropped out, right around the time that she lost Frank. Lucia couldn’t really blame them either. She wouldn’t want to be friends with her either.

The only real friend she still had was Matt, though she’d been avoiding him lately too. He called all the time to check on her, and it was driving her crazy. Hence, the phone that remained off most of the time. The same phone that was currently rebooting after a week-long stint at the bottom of her backpack. 

Almost as soon as the phone screen lit up, she wanted to turn it off again. Rolling her eyes, she scrolled through the twelve missed call notifications from Matt. Speak of the devil. 

Ha!

She almost cracked a smile at her pun, and then, instead, frowned deeply when she realized the only person she wanted to tell it to was dead. Mood completely soured, she opened the news app and began scrolling through the various stories about the happenings of New York, sipping her coffee every once in a while and thanking Kayla when she came by to refill the cup. 

It would’ve been a perfectly fine morning if she hadn’t heard the unmistakable sound of a cane tapping along the tile behind her. She groaned before he could make himself known, laying her forehead on the table in a dramatic fashion. Matt chuckled, sliding into the booth opposite hers. It felt odd to see anyone besides Frank sitting in the booth opposite hers, but she didn’t mention this out loud.

“Good to see you too, Lucia.”

Lucia resisted the urge to comment on his ability, or lack thereof, to see anything. She leaned back, taking in his appearance for the first time in weeks. He was in a suit, clearly on his way to work, dawning his infamous red glasses.

“You look dreadful.” He stated simply, before turning to face a smiling Kayla.

“You can’t even see!” Lucia pointed out incredulously, throwing her arms out in indignation. 

Kayla gave her a funny look and Lucia inwardly cringed at her outburst. Matt didn’t seem to notice Lucia had even spoken.

“Um,” Kayla giggled like a school girl, apparently incapable of resisting Matt’s natural charm, “Can I get you anything? If it’s on Lucia’s check, I can get you some pancakes half-off. Her ticket was started before the register reset for the day, so technically she’s a Tuesday customer, even though it’s Wednesday!”

Kayla continued to overshare Lucia’s predicament with Matt, who nodded along politely, even though he was clearly unhappy to hear that Lucia had been there for hours before his arrival. 

“Anyways,” Kayla finished, sighing, “Pancakes?”

“I’ll take some to go, Kayla.” Matt smiled, turning to face Lucia, “Foggy likes them, you know?”

Kayla nodded, furiously scribbling on her notepad. “Lucia? You want anything besides the coffee?”

Lucia silently cursed Kayla for being born, though that wasn’t really her fault, either. 

“No than-” She started, before being cut off by Matt.

“She’ll take some, too. Won’t you, Lucia?” He stressed her name through clenched teeth.

Lucia sighed. “Sure. Thanks, Kayla.”

Kayla headed back to the counter, still blushing from her interaction with Matt. Lucia watched her go until, at last, she forced herself to face Matt again.

“How’d you know I was here?” She asked, fiddling with her fingers on the table.

“Lucky guess.” Matt shrugged. 

“No, really.” Lucia tried again, leaning her head on her hands.

“I’m being serious.” He responded. “I didn’t plan this.”

In actuality, Matt really hadn’t planned this. Sure, he knew he needed to check on Lucia, but he hadn’t planned on it being at 7 o’clock in the morning on his way to work. He had been walking by when he overheard Kayla and one of the cooks talking about Lucia over a cigarette. Both were perplexed at Lucia’s sudden resignation from the diner and her insistence on spending hours in a specific booth in said diner. Matt hadn’t hesitated to turn on his heels and walk through the front door as soon as he heard Lucia’s name.

“Sure.” Lucia rolled her eyes again. “Twelve missed calls, Matt? What are you, my mother?” 

Matt cracked a smile. Frank had once referred to him as the “mother hen” of Hell’s Kitchen, and the tone of Lucia’s voice as she questioned him reminded him dearly of Frank. 

“If you answered your phone, you’d have zero missed calls.” Matt pointed out, crossing his fingers together and resting them on the table, matter-of-factly. 

“If you got the fucking hint,” Lucia muttered furiously, “You’d know I don’t want to talk to you.”

Matt nodded, as if she hadn’t just gravely insulted him to his face. His ability to remain calm in situations like this one was the most frustrating part of being his friend. 

“So you’re doing okay, then?” He tilted his head, daring her to lie to him. “No nightmares? Nothing keeping you up at night? No nightly activities around the neighborhood?”

Lucia steeled herself before answering. She knew Matt’s party trick, and wanted nothing to do with it.

“I’m fine.” She crossed her arms and looked away. She knew she probably looked like a moody teenager next to Matt, but she didn’t care. What she did on her own time was her business. 

“Yeah? Then why do you smell like gunpowder? I know you’ve got a gun in your bag. What were you doing before you came here, Lucia? Why do you smell like blood?”

“Seems like you’ve got it all figured out.” Lucia spat, angrily gathering her things.

Stop, Lucia. Sit back down. 

He was right, of course, but Lucia wasn’t going to admit that to him. Truthfully, she was terrified of how he’d react when he inevitably found out she was killing people to get closer to Frank’s killer. As much as she hated his overbearing presence, she also didn’t like to think about what her life would look like without him in it. She’d be truly alone, and that just wasn’t something she was capable of considering.

“I’m just trying to help, Luc.” Matt tried again, furrowing his brow.

He’s your friend. He was Frank’s friend, too. He’s worried about you.

“Don’t call me that.” Lucia warned, heart clenching at the nickname she used to adore. “I don’t need your help and I don’t want it.”

If you do this, he’ll hate you. You’ll be alone again. Is that what you want?

She threw down a twenty on the table, admittedly too much for two stacks of pancakes and a coffee, but she didn’t care. 

“Lucia, just stop for a second. Please-”

“Leave me alone, Matt.”

You’re alone again, Lucia. And this time, it’s definitely your fault.

She turned on her heels and stomped directly past Kayla, who was reluctantly approaching Lucia’s table with a timid look on her face. Clearly, the argument had left the security of the booth and had begun impeding on the other customer’s breakfasts. 

By the time she stepped onto the sidewalk, her anger had shifted from full blown rage to a small, easily maintained ember. That marked the second time she’d lost her temper in less than six hours. She didn’t even have the energy to be angry anymore. If she was honest with herself, she didn’t have the energy to feel much of anything these days. 

Grumpy and thoroughly exhausted, Lucia headed back toward her apartment, where she would undoubtedly spend the next few hours dissociating before finally drifting to sleep. She needed the rest, anyways, because as soon as it was dark enough, she was heading to the loading docks to find the warehouse Reginald had mentioned.

Her eyes snagged on movement in a building’s glossy windows as she trudged home. She halted, blinking once, twice, at the once familiar person staring back. Hollowed out cheeks, dark under eyes, and limp hair were all side effects of her nightly activities, but she’d never seen that dead look in her eyes before. Was this a side effect of rotting? Would she ever find her old self again? Did she want to, if Frank wouldn’t be there to hold her?

The city continued bustling around her. The world continued spinning. People continued living. Somewhere, lives were being brought into the world and lives were being taken, people were hired and fired, people got married and divorced, planes took off and planes landed. Signs of life were everywhere, even if you weren’t looking for them. Lucia glanced up. Chemtrails littered the sky, but she struggled to find the plane that made them. 

Next: Part 1B - Always an Angel

Series Tag List:

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Frank Tag List (Let me know if you want to be removed from being tagged in this series!):

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[prettyboykatsuki]

heyy, i just wanted to ask if you’d be okay with your works being translated and put into a wattpad book? i’m going to start a bnha book in spanish (bcs we spanish bnha fans are starving for good content) w translations of tumblr ffs, and i love ur work so just wanted to know if you’d be interested!

this is very kind but i will have to politely decline! i do not want my work anywhere near wattpad unfortunately

[your-divine-ribs]

I’m With the Band Part 7

Words: 3.3k

I love writing Bondy in this story, he’s such a sweetheart 🧡 And if you’ve read this story before on Wattpad I’m changing up the name of Arabella’s friends!

I’m With the Band Masterlist Main Masterlist

But I don't see Johnny later. Not all day or all evening either, and by 11pm I'm flagging, my eyes bleary and scratchy after the previous night's indulgences. I moodily and reluctantly take myself off to bed.

My phone buzzes with a call on the nightstand just as I'm drifting off to sleep. I groggily reach for it, checking the caller ID through half-closed eyes. It's Portia, my best friend and partner in crime from back home.

"Be-lla!" She calls out in a loud song-song voice as I answer the call. I can hear the deep thud of music, noisy background chatter and clinking glasses down the line.

"Hey P," I pause to stifle a yawn. "How are you?"

"Good, good! Whatcha doing babe? It sounds a bit quiet on your end."

I sigh, hoisting myself up into a sitting position, leaning back against the headboard. "I'm in bed actually."

Portia’s shrill voice almost deafens me and I have to move the phone away from my ear. "In bed? It's Saturday night for gods sake. What's wrong with you? Are you sick?" Then her voice thankfully drops lower. "Or have you got company? That's it isn't it? You've bloody gone and pulled already haven't you?"

"No, I'm alone," I say glumly. "Where are you?"

But I don't really need to ask. Saturday nights are always the same. Cocktails and champagne at our favourite bars on King's Road. Designer dresses and killer heels. Drunken dancing and flirting with hot guys, and then there would usually be a house party to attend. Now here I am, alone and in my night attire, ready to call it a night and it's not even anywhere near midnight.

I listen enviously whilst Portia launches into telling me about the new shoes she purchased shopping that afternoon and her plans for the rest of the night. Eventually she tails off. "Are you even listening to me? You've not fallen asleep have you?"

"Of course I'm listening. I'm just grumpy and fed up, that's all. I'm stuck here in the arse-end of Wales whilst you're in London living it up. It's not fair!"

"I feel so sorry for you!" Portia commiserates. "But it can't be all bad. What about your cousin? Isn't he fun? What's his name again, Barry?"

"Larry!" I correct her, giggling at her mistake. "Oh for fuck's sake, he's a nightmare! You remember me telling you about how him and his mate used to bully me? Well they're still friends now. And Larry's still intent on making my life hell!"

There's a pause on the end of the line, then, "Oh, sounds awful babe... errr hold on... Dominic's here..." I can hear voices, then my friend laughs. "Dominic's asking if there's going to be a party at yours since your parents are away. See... everyone's missing you."

"It sounds like they're missing my parties, not me!" I huff. "Anyway, let me tell you about Larry's mate's band... there's this gorgeous..."

"Hold on Bella... Tamara’s just bought me a shot of tequila..."

There's another pause and I can hear lots of raucous laughter down the line before Portia comes back on, still giggling.

"Are you listening P? I want to tell you about..."

"Sorry babe! It's so loud in here I can barely hear you! I'll call you tomorrow, yeah? Bye, love you!"

And before I even have a chance to say goodbye the phone goes dead. I angrily throw it down on the bed. Even my best friend's too busy having fun to talk to me now. I feel sulky and unwanted.

Then the text messages start up. Word's obviously got around that my parents are away and everyone wants to know if I'm throwing one of my legendary parties. When I tell them that I'm away I don't get even one reply to ask how I am. I never realised how shallow and selfish my friends were. It's like all they care about is themselves. I'd never dream of acting that way...

I get out of bed, my tiredness now fallen away, and crack open the door. The house seems quiet and as I walk past Larry's room I place an ear to the door and I don't hear a sound.

I tread carefully down the stairs so as not to wake my aunt and uncle, then pad quietly through to the kitchen. I'm not even sure what I've come down for. There's a vague grumbling in my gut but it's late and I really shouldn't be snacking at this time. I grab a glass from the cupboard and run the cold tap.

"Hey Bells! Whatcha doing?" Larry's voice suddenly booms from behind me, making me jump. I practically drop the glass in the sink.

I whirl around, mouth open, heart beating wildly in shock. "God Larry, you about gave me a heart attack!"

Larry chuckles with a lopsided kind of grin and I can immediately tell that he's pissed as he sways where he's standing, leaning out a hand on the counter to steady himself. Has the whole world been out having fun apart from me?

I narrow my eyes at him. "I thought you were at band practice with the lads. Have you been to the pub without inviting me?"

"Just 'ad a few celebratory beers, that's all!"

My curiosity is piqued. "So... what's there to celebrate then?"

Larry opens his mouth to speak but he doesn't get chance. I hear Johnny's voice just a second before he comes into view, stepping into the kitchen beside Larry.

"We've only gone and got ourselves a set at Reading and Leeds this summer haven't we?" He says, grinning widely.

At the sight of Johnny I feel a little flurry of excitement in my belly and I self-consciously start raking a hand through my hair and adjusting the over-sized band t-shirt that I'm wearing. I'd have worn some prettier nightwear if I'd been expecting to run into him in the kitchen.

"Oh... that's... that's errr... great," I say uncertainly, wondering what all the fuss is about.

Festivals have never really appealed to me. All that sleeping in tents, wading through mud, using filthy port-a-loos and not having a shower for days on end? No thanks!

"You'll be coming along won't you? Larry says you're around all summer? It's on at the end of the tour." Johnny's eager face raises a huge smile on mine, and all of a sudden the thought of roughing it for a few days seems a lot more agreeable.

"Yes! Definitely! Count me in!" I enthuse.

"Well... I'm off to bed!" Larry suddenly announces, paying no heed to the fact that he'll be leaving me and Johnny alone in the kitchen, and we both laugh as he misjudges his step and clumsily ricochets off the kitchen door frame as he stumbles through.

"Reminds me of someone else last night!" Johnny teases.

"I was a little more graceful than that!" I reply, smirking at him.

"Oh aye," he chuckles. "A regular little ballerina." Then his eyes go to my knee where there's a small graze from my tumble outside the club last night. "Your drunken injuries say otherwise!"

"And how's your knees?" I refer to his daring leap out the window and his clumsy landing on the balcony.

"I can't believe you talked me into doing that!"

He shakes his head in exasperation and I do the same.

"Err... excuse me. As I remember it you needed little encouragement!"

He shrugs with a flippant smile but doesn't say anything so I turn back to the sink, finally pouring out the glass of water I'd been meaning to when I got interrupted before. I wonder if Johnny will head off up to bed, but as I turn back and lean against the kitchen cabinet, sipping my drink, I find him still lingering. He looks a little unsure, like he wants to say something but he's trying to decide how to say it. Maybe he's thinking about our little chat in the garden this morning. I don't want things to be awkward between us.

"So... how was band practice?" I say conversationally, boosting myself up on to the kitchen counter so I'm sitting there facing him, my legs hanging down.

He seems to light up instantly at the mention of the band. "Good... really good. You know I definitely think I made the right decision joining this band. I've not known the guys for that long but they're like best mates to me already."

"Hmm... Larry said you were all really close," I sigh, my thoughts going to my own friends and their apparent dismissal of me. Out of sight out of mind.

I only let my smile slip for a second but that's enough for Johnny to notice. He really is attentive. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I'm fine!" I reply in the perkiest voice that I can muster, but Johnny looks unconvinced.

He leans back against the cabinet, arms folded, eyes fixed on me. "Come on lass, you're not fooling anyone. I saw that look. What's wrong?"

I lean forward slightly, arms braced at my sides, swinging my legs as a distraction whilst I consider whether to confide in him. I want to keep things light, flirtatious. The last thing I want is for him to be fed up whilst I drone on about my own problems. Guys hate that sort of thing. Or maybe that's just the guys I'm used to spending time with.

"You know what they say," Johnny continues. "A problem shared and all that..."

He looks at me intently and I look back, chewing my bottom lip, trying to think up a way to turn the conversation away from me, but then who else have I got to talk to? Portia would rather be knocking back shots and partying than listening to my woes. New York is five hours behind and knowing my parents' workaholic natures they'll more than likely still be busy, not that they're great listeners anyway.

"My friends are all ignoring me!" I blurt out, and now I've started talking I can't stop. It all comes out about Portia hanging up on me, my other so-called friends using me, and the fact that they only want to know me when there's something in it for them. When I start moaning about my parents hardly acknowledging my existence I know that I've gone too far. I sound like a spoiled brat and I hate it.

I tail off, looking down. "Shit, I'm sorry. You don't wanna hear all of this..."

"Hey..." Johnny says softly, stepping over so that he's standing right in front of me. To my surprise he places two fingers under my chin, gently tilting my face up to look at him. "It's okay, I don't mind you talking to me you know. That's rough about your mum and dad. You can't choose family but you can choose your friends. Maybe it'll be a good thing you getting away for a while."

Gosh he's so sweet, looking at me sympathetically with those warm blue eyes and that infectious smile. And more importantly he actually seems interested in me and not just what he can get from me. It's certainly refreshing.

All of a sudden he steps away across the kitchen, and I'm dismayed for a moment until he stops and turns around with a warm grin on his face. "I know exactly what's needed here!"

"What're you up to?" I'm puzzled and watch as he opens up the freezer and starts rifling through the items in the drawers.

"A-ha! Yes! Here we go!" He sounds triumphant, delving in and producing a large tub which he proudly holds aloft.

"Johnny, what are you doing?" I'm completely bewildered now but can't help laughing at the huge smirk on his face, like he's just had the best idea of his life.

He doesn't answer at first but crosses over to a drawer, opening it and grabbing a spoon. Only then does he step back over to me, brandishing what I realise is the biggest tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

"Ice cream?" I laugh as he places it down on the counter beside me, peeling off the lid and sticking the spoon in. "So ice cream is the answer to all of my problems then, is it?"

"Well? This is what they do in rom-coms isn't it? Eat it straight from the tub when they're feelin' sad!"

"But I don't have a broken heart!" I giggle.

"Doesn't matter," he replies. "It's made you smile hasn't it? That's all that counts!"

It's true. My grin is ridiculously wide now, my bad mood dissipating by the second as he lifts up the spoon, laden with ice cream, and starts moving it towards my mouth. "Open wide!"

I do as instructed, watching as the spoon slowly gets closer... and then just as I lean in he snatches it away, opening his own mouth wide and taking the ice cream for himself. "Mmmm, that's so good!"

"You git!" I cry out. "Give me some! It's chocolate fudge brownie, my favourite!"

"Oh it is, is it?" He chuckles, digging the spoon in again. "Well I'd better get you a really big spoonful then."

I should have guessed that he was up to something by the mischievous glint in his eye, but I sit there waiting, mouth agape as the spoon gets nearer and nearer again...

"You want it?" He grins, moving the spoon back slightly.

"Uh-huh..."

"You sure? You don't look very hungry!" He teases.

"For gods sake give it to me!" I cry.

And he does. He thrusts the spoon forward quickly, purposefully aiming just to the side of my mouth, the ice cream smearing all over my cheek.

I yelp in surprise, raising up a hand to feel the cold stickiness dripping off my face.

"Johnny!" I cry out, but I'm laughing too. I can't help it. His eyes are crinkled with mirth, a loud guffaw bursting from him as he looks at me sitting there, dripping with the chocolatey dessert. It's trickling down my neck now, a syrupy trail making its way down to the neck of my t-shirt.

"You should... see... your face!" He manages in between fits of laughter.

That's it! I'm not letting him get away with this. I don't have a spoon but that doesn't deter me. I delve my fingers right into the tub, scooping up a handful. Johnny doesn't notice. He's bent over double, still laughing at me.

"You want some more, hey?"

As I speak I'm already leaning forward, moving my hand towards his face.

"Yes!" I let out a cheer of satisfaction as Johnny raises his head at the exact moment I aim for him, swiping a chocolatey smear all over his left cheek, nose and mouth. He stops still long enough for me to also spread it over his chin and other cheek for good measure, wiping the excess off on his shirt.

He's covered in the gooey mess, blinking it out of his eyes, shaking his head, still smiling.

"You've done it now!" He threatens playfully.

"Oh no you don't!" I grab for the tub, moving it behind my back and out of his reach, but that doesn't deter him. He moves nearer, reaching around me with both arms, the action making my legs part as he pushes closer.

He's pressed right up against me now, my t-shirt bunched up around my thighs, his hands groping for the tub but not quite managing to reach it. I move it even further back, enjoying the sensation of his body against mine.

"You're not getting it!" I taunt, leaning my body back too, causing him to lean against me even more.

His head's close to my neck, and he turns his head. "Well I guess I'm just gonna have to kiss ya then!"

I go to protest as his chocolate smothered face moves closer. I'll be covered...

Fuck it!

It's a small price to pay for another taste of those lips, even sweeter now with their chocolate coating. I close my eyes as Johnny's lips press against mine, his tongue running over my bottom lip.

"Mmm... you taste good..." he breathes into my mouth before I cut him off with my tongue, nudging it against his, deepening the kiss.

His hands go to my hips, fingers grasping me needily, and I respond by hooking my fingers into the belt loops of his jeans, pulling him closer. We're both lost in each other for a moment until Johnny pulls away slightly, his eyes simmering, that lazy smile I'm growing to love playing on his lips.

"You're absolutely covered love, maybe you need some help cleaning it off..."

He dips his head down, lips brushing my neck, and I tip my head back to give him better access. His tongue licks a slow stripe up my neck, the sensation sending a shiver through me. Now I'm really wishing I'd worn something skimpier. Who knows where the ice cream could have ended up?

There's a spot just below my ear that drives me crazy and Johnny finds it easily, a tiny moan escaping me as he sucks and nips at my skin. A warm glow starts to spread low in my body, and I slide myself across the counter, pressing myself into Johnny as my fingers move to his belt. Within seconds I've got it unbuckled and my hands stray to the buttons that fasten his jeans.

"Woah... slow down! We can't do this now."

Johnny's voice is gentle but firm, and as he speaks he pulls away, both hands reaching for mine, stopping me. He's probably right. The risk factor is an undeniable turn on, but the thought of my aunt and uncle actually catching me, covered in ice cream, getting fucked on their kitchen worktop is definitely not.

"Come to my room then... c'mon, no one'll hear you. I can sneak you in."

I give him my most tempting smile, the one most lads can't resist, but Johnny's not most lads. He sighs, clearly frustrated, not giving in.

"Look Arabella... I know you're... keen..." he raises his eyebrows awkwardly... "but what's the rush? Can't we like... get to know each other a little better?"

This can't be happening. Johnny... playing hard to get. It's an unfamiliar concept to me with lads, but then Johnny's not my usual type of prey like those from back home in London. I'm used to the wild party-animal types, the sort that are so desperate for a shag that I can wrap them around my little finger and get them to do anything for the privilege.

I try to swallow down my disappointment, managing a little smile, hopping down from the counter. "There's no rush... I just like you that's all," I mumble.

"And I like you too."

He answers quickly, like he's worried he's offended me, which surprisingly he hasn't. I know he's not simply making excuses, he's just being nice, a gentleman, and I'm not used to it.

I go to turn away, not wanting to push it and seem desperate. "Anyway, I am pretty tired I guess... and I've got to clean off all this bloody ice cream before I go to bed!"

"Night love," he says, but as I do turn to leave he reaches out and catches my hand, bringing me to a stop.

I turn to face him and he's looking at me fondly. "I meant it. I do really like you, ya know."

He drags me gently towards him, leaning down to plant a small, sweet kiss on my lips before letting me go.

I walk away, trying to maintain an air of calm even though my insides are teaming with butterflies.

"Night Johnny," I call quietly as I go, not looking back.

[the-melancholy-heart]

WIP intro

Devil & Dove

Genre: mystery, romance, crime, mafia (to some extent, maybe???)

Plot summary: The city of Beladair comes alive at night when the monsters wake up...

Kit West is an aspiring author who's been sent to one of the most beautiful cities in the world to ghost write a novel for a famous author. She always knew Beladair to be dangerous, but Kit finds herself deeper into the darkness of the city than she expected, especially when she becomes entangled with a criminal organisation called the Beautiful Devils and finds herself drawn to their enigmatic and troubled leader.

In a world of money, blood and power, Kit must scramble to survive with not just her life intact, but her heart.

My whole thing for the past year or so has been writing wattpad books inspired by specific trends of books (picture a stereotypical wattpad book in your head… I tried to emulate that), which took me way out of my comfort zone and also led to me completing my first ever book, The Alpha And His Mate. Even though the book isn’t good and mostly exists as a joke, I learnt a lot from the experience and had an amazing time writing about ridiculous plots; I even ended up creating OCs that I truly love, and I’m proud to have a few thousand reads on Wattpad.

So now, after months of working on very serious writer projects on Google docs and hitting a block where nothing ever seems to go anywhere, I have decided to return to what I know is tried and trusted: the ultimate wattpad novel.

This time I decided to go for a mafia/crime romance because that’s even further out of my comfort zone- way way way out of my comfort zone- and something I’ve never seriously considered before.

In true me fashion though, I couldn’t stay basic and have now begun writing a duology on wattpad that mixes romance with mystery, crime and a lot of politics, and created my own fictional city to set it in because I love worldbuilding and not even writing non-sff will stop me.

It’ll be interesting to see how much traction it gains once it’s published. Originally, The Alpha And His Mate was an experiment to see how popular a book could get, and it proved that you could get a lot of reads from a pretty average wattpad book (in the sense that the plot is a near copy of a hundred other books smashed together). I’ll probably post updates for myself more than anyone else to keep track since I didn’t have any records of the previous one.

Anyway, I truly care about these characters and plot now so I’ll have to see if they get the same love as Alpha Jax and Persephone.

Only time will tell…

[dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice]

To the Shadows that Cry Witch /// Chapter 11

Hello!! I know it's been less than a month, but it feels like I haven't posted a chapter in forever! As much as I've enjoyed this small hiatus, it's definitely given me the motivation to start writing again. Now, as for the first chapter of Part 2, Chapter 11 includes an introduction of one of my own OCs, who's name you will find out below and I can't wait for you to meet him! Enjoy! <3

Summary: Magic was real, but it came at a price. So when two girls end up in the one place they never thought they could reach, strange things began to happen. Good or bad? That's up to them to find out.

Tags: Kíli x oc/reader - Fíli x oc (POV to be written soon) - Thorin's company x ocs/reader (platonic) - fluff - angst - EXTREME slow burn - crack - Bagginshield

Word Count: 2355

Warnings: Mentions of Minor and Major Injuries from last chapter.

Taglist - comment or message to be added!

PLEASE START FROM THE BEGINNING IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY OK LOVE U

Want some background music? Check out my Soundtrack Playlist!

Now available on Wattpad and AO3 (please let me know if links aren't working)

< Part 1 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12 >

PART 2: Chapter 11 -

Unfortunate Beginnings

Anodyne (Definition): Capable of soothing or easing pain. (Figuratively) soothing or relaxing. (Adjective / Origin: Derived from the Greek/Latin word anṓdynos/ an·​o·​dyne ˈa-nə-ˌdīn)

Hobbiton, The Shire – T.A. Sunday 25th September 2939 of the Third Age (1339 in Shire-reckoning)

The moment Bilbo’s footsteps faded away, Kay was immediately upon me as she whipped around in her chair and I could see the question she had wanted to ask earlier burn in her eyes.

“Why’d you ask for his name?” she practically blurted out.

“Because we don’t know him.” I stated. Kay’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“But we do? Don’t we?”

“From the book and movies, yes,” I began explaining, “But we don’t actually know him, we just know of him. Plus if we called him by his name without asking for it first, I’m pretty sure he would be given enough heebie jeebies to throw us out. Then we would really have no place to go.”

Kay nodded slowly in agreement, before responding. “I mean, we do know of other places to stay.”

“But, would we actually get there alive, let alone know how to get there?” I questioned rhetorically.

Kay slumped back in her chair disappointedly with a groan at the obvious truth. We were raised and conditioned to live in a – somewhat – sheltered society. We hadn’t had a single lesson in life on how to survive out in the uncharted wild, apart from the occasional Bear Grylls show that I couldn’t remember anything from, except that thing where you drink your own urine, but I would honestly die on the first day of thirst than go anywhere near my piss. Soon Kay pulled me out of my spiralling thoughts as she pushed herself out her chair and I twisted my head to watch as she passed me.

“Oi.” I said, reaching out to prod at her arm. “Bilbo said to stay put.”

“He also said help yourself to tea.” She fired back as she made her way to the kitchen. “And I have two working ankles.”

It was now my turn to slump back in my own chair with a huff. A bit bored, I stretched my legs towards the fireplace in an attempt to warm my feet as I listened to Kay’s footsteps as she pottered around. You couldn’t let her be too sure of herself whilst she walked around with a knocked head after all. The clinks of ceramics became clearer as she wandered back through, balancing everything on the ornate wooden tray in her hands. She plopped it onto the small table that sat in between our armchairs before settling herself back into her chair.

Swatting my outstretched legs away from the fire whilst muttering something about my lack of fire safety, she passed me my cup of steaming tea, before picking up her own. Facing towards the open window, where the sun and many sounds of the morning wandered through, her expressions shifted as thoughts floated around in her head.

“Where do you suppose he’s gone?” She pondered as her eyes wandered about.

“Some sort of healer maybe?” I suggested, taking a sip of tea. “He did seem to panic over our whole ‘We’re severely injured!’ ordeal at the end of breakfast.”

“Huh, maybe.”

We sat in a peaceful silence for a bit as we waited for Bilbo’s return. Though whilst I stared at the crackling fire, an unwanted thought came to mind.

“Wait, so.. how are we gonna repay him in this condition?” I said worriedly. Kay joined me in staring at the fire as she tried to think of something. “I just don’t want to be kicked out for not being able to do anything meaningful.” I added.

“Eugh, you’re right.” Kay replied with a slight panic in her eye as she looked away from the flames at me. She took a moment as she thought of her next words. “Though I’ve read the hobbit enough times to know he’s surely not like that. We’ll explain that whilst we’re healing, we’ll start with smaller things, then the better we get, the bigger tasks we take on.”

I took a deep breath as I nodded, drinking more tea to distract myself from overthinking.

Moments passed before the second stretch of silence was interrupted. The muffled sounds of voices getting closer to the front door increased, one voice sounding familiar but frantic, whilst the other one unfamiliar and annoyed. We both leant over our armchairs to fixate on the circular door as it swung open, and we both watched as a now tussled up Bilbo quickly ushered in another hobbit. This other hobbit looked as if he had been dragged out of bed then through a bush backwards by his pointy ears as he stumbled in with bleary eyes. Poor guy was nodding almost subconsciously at the words that were pouring out of Bilbo’s mouth as he rubbed at his eyes in an attempt to be rid of his tiredness. He slipped off the coat that was already askew on his shoulders, before haphazardly patting down his unsightly bedhead of mousy brown hair as he turned away from his now hung up coat to follow Bilbo deeper into the house.

“Now Master Baggins,” The stranger managed out whilst stifling another yawn. “Let us see what caused you to wake me up at the crack of dawn, on a Sunday might I add.”

“Yes, yes, through here.” Bilbo said almost dismissively as he strode up to where we were sitting, beckoning the other hobbit over. I spotted the relief on his face as he saw that we hadn’t really moved at all from where he had left us. As for the second hobbit, his tiredness was snatched away from him in an instant as his half lidded eyes landed on us, and he almost stumbled back in shock at the sight of us, his hand clutched over his heart.

“By Yavanna! Where in Middle Earth did they come from?!” He cried as his wide chestnut eyes scoured over our appearance. We recoiled slightly at his outcry, eyeing each other concerned. Surely we didn’t look that bad?

“Fell straight from the top of the hill, they did.” Bilbo began explaining, , (Ok, maybe we did look that bad) stuffing his hands in his pockets as he swung back and forth on his heels. The other hobbit faced him with a gaping mouth at Bilbo’s casualness, before turning towards us.

“And you’re still alive?!?” he gasped incredulously. I shrugged whilst Kay gestured at herself with a ‘guess so!’ look on her face. He faced back to Bilbo, “And what in Yavanna’s name made you make the decision to bring two unknown big folk into your home???”

“That’s what I was saying!” Kay muttered to herself, though the two hobbits were too busy squabbling to notice.

“They mean no harm to any of us. No weapons or anything malevolent in their packs. From what they’ve told me, they simply got lost in the woods and never found the way out.” Bilbo stated, his tone indicating that this was his final decision. “And they’ve given no reason for me to have them leave. Nothing but impeccable manners.”

We both eyed each other confusedly at Bilbo’s sudden defensiveness, then all three of us watched as the second hobbit’s mouth bobbed open and shut, unable to form the words. Bilbo looked between him and us for a moment before letting out a frustrated sigh. Gesturing towards us with a firm hand, he glared at the unnamed hobbit expectantly. Looking rather panicked for a second, Mr No-Name brought his eyes back on us. He then straightened up, nervously digging his thumbs into his belt loops as he began to speak.

“I errrr – Good morning.” He managed out and we both smiled politely as he spoke, which seemed to relax him slightly. “I’m Erard Noakesburrow, Hobbiton’s doctor, and uh – my good friend Bilbo here, told me that you both had quite the night!. And he’s certainly not exaggerating, from what I can see.” He said whilst mostly eyeing the bruises and cuts that were scattered around on the both of us.

“You’re not wrong.” I replied jokingly. “I’m pretty sure everything’s broken.”

Erard huffed a light laugh at my half-joke, giving us both a weak smile back that emphasised the freckles dotted on his face. Luckily he seemed to be calming down from his original panic.

“Right,” He said, lightly patting his legs to rid of the rest of his nerves. He turned back to Bilbo who was looking back expectantly. “I guess I’ll go and get what I need to examine them both. Then we can go on about the healing process.” He explained. “I take it they need a place to rest?” He asked Bilbo.

“There’s no need!” Exclaimed Bilbo, causing Erard to blink at him in surprise. “They’ll be.. staying here.”

Erard eyed us both slightly, then back at Bilbo.

“Allllright then, if you insist Master Baggins! Saves me the hassle!” He said as he turned towards the door. “I’ll go get my stuff.”

Kay and I both looked at each other questionably at Bilbo’s insistence. He was a hobbit, and I’ve read many times that hobbits do love having guests, but surely he wouldn’t be this eager to let two strangers he just met (officially) this morning?

We watched as Bilbo waved Erard out the door, nodding at whatever the doctor was saying as he walked away, before pushing it shut and heading back over to us. Bilbo went to say something, but I quickly interrupted as to not forget what I wanted to say.

“Are you sure you want us here?” I questioned. Bilbo blinked at me in confusion. “I mean, you don’t actually know us and you seem very sure about letting us stay.”

“Well I – I’m not too sure, actually.” He said uncertainly. “It’s true that I don’t know you both, in fact the only thing I know are your names.” He uttered half a word, before quickly changing course,” But you should know! Us hobbits truly love having guests – and to send you away, seeing the state you both are in, it would be very cruel to do so!” He finished with a nervous laugh.

My eyes drifted to the ground as my thoughts darted around to try and guess what Bilbo would have said, but the answers were too far out of reach right now, so I simply nodded at him. He gave a strained smile before disappearing off into the kitchen, muttering something about another kettle of tea. Kay and I instantly had a silent conversation, the both of us mouthing questions and gesturing our confusion at each other. It was somewhat unusual for Bilbo to let us stay and despite our uncertainty, it wasn’t like we were complaining.

Finally, Erard had returned with his bag. Placing it on the floor near us, he knelt down to take out what he needed and placed it on the table next to the fresh tea Bilbo had brought in. I leant forward to take a look at what he had. Most of it looked like traditional doctors equipment. I identified a stethoscope, but I’m not a doctor, so everything else I couldn’t put a name to.

“Okay, why don’t we start with what you know.” He said.

Just like we had done with Bilbo over the dining table, we listed off everything we knew. With each injury, we watched as Erard’s face became more and more concerned, and by the time we had finished, he was quite pale.

“I.. – I’ve got to say,” he huffed, his cheeks puffing out as he took a deep inhale. “It’s a miracle that you’re both here.”

Everyone had grim looks on their faces as he said this, reality setting in as Kay and I both realised how lucky we were to survive (and land in Middle Earth of course).

As respectfully as he could, Erard gently examined my ribcage, lightly pressing his small fingers down to identify which areas were broken. As for Kay, no torch lights were available in this dimension, so he used his finger for her eyes to follow to check on her head injury, confirming that she indeed had a concussion, but to add to our growing list of luck, it was only minor. Like he did with me, he used his fingers to see where Kay had injured her back as well. Standing back up, he brushed off his trousers and retrieved a book from his bag. He asked to borrow a quill and ink, which Bilbo quickly rushed off to get. He spoke as we waited.

“From what I have examined from the both of you, it’s not looking good.” He said a bit solemnly and we looked up at him with worried faces. “Though, it’s not the most terrible, either.” At this point Bilbo had walked back in and wordlessly handed him the quill and small bottle of ink. Erard thanked him with a nod and began writing in his book as he spoke again. “Everything I’ve observed will heal on its own, though it will take a while. Bed rest with short spurts of gentle exercise will ensure that you stay healthy. You – ” he pointed the quill at me, “ – will need a sling for that wrist of yours, but your ribs and ankle should heal as long as you’re gentle with those areas. And you – ” the quill darted in Kay’s direction, “don’t lift anything heavy for a while, otherwise you’ll worsen the strain on your spine.”

The two of us nodded obediently at his words and he snapped his book shut, satisfied. After repacking his bag, he beckoned Bilbo over to the front door for a private conversation. We carried on drinking our teas as we tried to tune in to the unintelligible murmuring going on down the hallway. Eventually the front door opened and we both leant over our chairs again to call out our thanks and wave goodbye. Erard raised his hand in response as he slipped on his coat, sending a warm smile in our direction before he turned. Giving Bilbo a nod – most likely to do with what they conversed about privately – he picked up his bag and stepped out, leaving Bilbo to push the door shut behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed meeting Erard! I'm going to create a character sheet of him soon, so look out for that <3

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< Part 1 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12 >

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[guitars-and-kaleidoscope-eyes]

In My Life

Authors Note:

I got this idea from a fanfiction written on Wattpad by KGL1404 titled The Beatles Short Stories. One of the short stories on there was also titled In My Life, and I thought it would be cute to do a Paul spin on the story, so here it is!

Also, I’m still working on Here Today!

December 8th, 1981

Paul's POV:

I can’t believe it’s already been a year since my best friend, John, died. All of 1981 has felt like a blur. I can still remember hearing the news that John had been shot in New York. I couldn’t believe what I’d heard. In fact, I couldn’t accept it at all. John had been my best mate. Ever since we were teenagers, we had written songs together until The Beatles had broken up. And then some nut case had to go and blow all of those memories away.

Just thinking about all of this brought tears to my eyes. I collapsed back into my pillow on my bed and began sobbing. I pulled the covers over my head and cried harder into my pillow.

I know it feels silly for me, a grown man with a wife and children, to be crying like a child. But I just can’t contain it. And afterall, why shouldn’t I cry? The kids are all at school, and Linda’s seen me at both my best and worst. Nobody is here to judge me, nobody needs me to stay strong at this very moment.

“Why’d you have to go, John?”

…

Suddenly, I wasn’t crying anymore. In fact, I wasn’t even in bed anymore. I was standing in a small backyard. The air was hot and I felt very warm in my flannel pajamas. Suddenly I saw a small boy run outside a back door attached to a house dragging a smaller lad by his hand. I realized, quite shocked, that boy was me dragging my little brother mike!

“Paul?” I called out, feeling rather strange that I was calling to myself.

But he, or rather, I, didn’t hear me yelling. Instead, he kept dragging Mike.

“Paul?” I tried again. I ran to him and grabbed his shoulder, but he didn’t even notice that. I realized that he couldn’t see or hear or feel me at all. I felt like Scrooge when he saw his past self by the ghost of Christmas past.

“Come on Mike!” My younger self called to Mike. I looked to what he was pointing at, and realized that it was a lime pool that had filled with water. My eyes widened to realize what was about to happen when my younger self began to move a large wooden plank across the pool.

When Mike and I were lads, a lime pool near our house had filled with water from a rainstorm. The first thing dad told us when we made our little discovery, was to not go anywhere near it. So of course, when mum went to work and dad went to the shops, Mike and I made it to go exploring. But our exploration didn’t go as planned when…

Whoosh!

My younger self and Mike fell off the plank we were walking across and fell into the lime pit. Without thinking, I ran to their aid and grabbed ahold of their hands, but then remembered that they didn’t know I was there and my attempt to help would be useless. The two began to paddle like dogs until Mike grabbed the side of the pool and tried to grab young me as well, but my younger self couldn’t reach him. After enough crying out however, I soon saw a figure running to their aid, my dad!

Shocked to see my dad alive and well again, I almost said something, but he yelled before I could say anything, “Paul and Mike McCartney! How many times did I tell you boys not to go near that lime pit, and you still did?”

I watched as my dad dragged us two wet lads out of the pool and into the house to give us, as I remembered it, the spanking of a lifetime. I tried to run after them, but dad closed the back door before I could reach it.

Now I wasn’t even in the old backyard anymore. I was back in my old room. It took me a moment to get familiar with my new surroundings, but when I did, I smiled to myself at how everything was as I remembered it. My bookshelf filled with all of my old favorite books, my small bed with the bedsheets just as I remembered them. And my guitar was sitting in the corner of my room. I walked over to it and rubbed the strings with my finger tips. It's still just as I remembered it.

I smiled to myself and stretched out onto the bed, breathing in the scent. But I was brought out of my trance just a moment later when my door flung open and I saw my younger self again. Only I wasn't a little boy anymore. Now I look at how I was when I was fourteen. I sat up and on the edge of the bed and chuckled at myself. I used to be quite fat, to the point that Mike used to call me “fatty”.

My younger self closed the bedroom door quietly and stood against it, shaking and white as a sheet. I was confused for a moment, until I read the calendar on my wall. It was October 1956. The month mum died.

I watched as my younger self ran to the bed and climbed into it, hiding his face into his pillow and beginning to cry, just like I had this morning back home. My younger self pulled the blankets over himself and whispered, “Why’d you have to go, Mum? Why?”

Without even giving it a second thought, I put my hand on my younger self's back and began to rub it. I knew well enough that he couldn’t feel it, but I couldn’t help but hurt for the poor lad who’d just lost his mum.

He turned his head to the side of his pillow, tears streaking his chubby cheeks. Again, I went to give some comfort and attempted to wipe his cheeks, but then remembered that it wouldn’t do anything.

I watched as the little lad cried himself to sleep. I watched him for a moment, then, feeling a bit embarrassed by the gesture, kissed the top of his head gently.

Closing my eyes to do so, when I opened them again, I was in a completely different place.

Now it looked like a church hall. What does this have to do with anything?

“I saw your performance, you were pretty good.” I heard someone say, but I didn’t see anyone around. I turned around, but didn’t see anyone. I looked in the same corner I could have sworn I looked in before, and saw none other, but John Lennon!

“Aw, isn’t that sweet? Now what do you want?” He asked my now fifteen year old self.

“John! John, it's me! It’s Paul!” I yelled.

“Well I thought you may have sounded a bit out of tune. Can I see your guitar for a moment?” They continued, not even seeing me.

“John!” I tried again, but the figures ignored me again as my young self began to tune John’s guitar. After that, he played Seven Flight Rock for John, which as I remembered, was the most nerve-racking I’d ever felt. My younger self looked up at John for a response, but the strangest thing happened. Suddenly, everything seemed to pause. John and I were not moving, his old bandmates weren’t moving, everything looked like statues in a wax museum.

“John? Are you alright?” I called, panic beginning to set in, thinking I’d never get out of this bizarre cycle of memories.

“John? Can you hear me? John!”

Tears were starting to fall down my cheeks and I tried to run to me and John, but no matter how fast I moved my legs, they kept moving away from me, like tunnel vision.

“No! John!” I cried as vision turned to black. I fell down to the ground and curled into myself.

“John, please don’t leave me again!” I sobbed, “Please!”

The ground I was laying on now felt different. It felt like grass. And the air felt warm. The surroundings didn’t affect my sobbing at all though. Not until I felt a warm hand rubbing my back and I heard someone talking to me.

“Paul?”

“Go away!” I cried, not wanting to be bothered or embarrassed more than I already was.

“Hate to break it to you lad, but I don’t think you’re gonna be wanting me to leave ya right now.”

“W-what?” I asked.

Someone was trying to pick me up now. I felt I was leaning against someone. There was a warm breeze blowing against my cheeks and someone was rubbing my back and petting my hair. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times until my vision returned to normal.

“Alive are ya lad?” I heard someone laugh with a bit of wit.

I looked up to see none other than John Winston Lennon there. He looked the way he did in ‘74. Long curly hair, round glasses, and all!

“John!” I said in surprise.

“That’s my name!” He smiled cheekily. “Nice to know you haven't completely lost it yet, Macca!”

I looked at my surroundings. We looked like we were sitting in a field somewhere. The grass was the greenest I had ever seen and the sky was a clear blue with the sun beginning to set in the distance.

“Am I dead?” I asked him, as he began to wipe my tears clumsily in a very John-like manner.

“Well, maybe I spoke too soon.” He grinned again.

“What?” I asked, actually beginning to think I had died and this was Heaven or maybe some inbetween place.

“No, you’re not dead. Nice to know my little Paulie hasn’t changed too much!” He said.

“So, what is this?” I asked, sitting up a bit more so I wasn’t entirely leaning against John, but he still was keeping an arm around my back, helping me feel still in touch with reality.

“I’m not really sure. You’re still back home asleep in bed, but you’re also here.” He smirked.

“So I’m dreaming?” I asked.

“You could say that.” He said, “All of this is real, but there’s still nothing to get hung about.”

I chuckled at that. He was still cheeky John.

“John, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Paul.” He smiled.

“I’m sorry I never got to tell you how much you meant to me. I’m sorry for everytime we fought, I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye, I’m sorry you died!” I said, trying to hold down the tears.

“Hey,” He said with a smile, “You didn’t know! You can’t be sorry for something like that!”

“But I never got to tell you how much you meant to me!” I said, “John, you’re my best mate. I never told you how special those times writing with you were. They were some of my best memories. I love you so much!”

John pulled me into a tight hug. “I love you too, Paul!”

John held me against him and stroked my back and played with my hair for a while. The sun setting in the distance was now going completely down as I began to get very sleepy.

“Go to sleep Paul. We’ll meet again someday.”

…

“Paul?”

I opened my eyes to find myself lying in my own bed back home again. I looked out the window near the bed to see the sun was almost completely down. Just like in the dream. Yes! That’s right! I had a dream that I saw myself and John again!

“Paul?” I heard a soft feminine voice ask. I looked up to see Linda was sitting with me again. She was holding my hand and stroking my hair.

“Linda? I asked, sitting up in bed.

“Yes Paul, it’s me. Do you feel ok? You slept completely through the day.” She said,

I threw my arms around her and hugged her.

“Oh Linda, I love you so much!” I cried, probably taking her by surprise.

“Paul, are you alright?” She tried again.

“Linda, I had the most wonderful dream! I saw John again! I was able to hug him again and tell him how much I love him!”

“Oh, Paul, I’m so glad.” She smiled.

The two of us held each other for maybe three more minutes. I never felt so good in my life. John was safe. And I had been able to tell him how much I loved him. I knew I would never stop missing him, but a huge weight of grief had just been lifted from my shoulders. And that would be enough for now.

[oceanparkmall]

Mall Ghosts | Chapter 1

table of contents patreon wattpad

~ 2.2k words

.

The year was 2002.

I had just turned eighteen. My parents bought the newest iPod for my birthday instead of the cell phone that I had specifically asked for. So I dyed my afro electric teal in protest, but they didn’t care. My kid brother joked that my hair finally matched my name – Aqua.

None of my friends really got to see my so-called rebellious transformation because I lived two cities over and I didn’t have a car to drive yet. 

I begged my mom to let me apply for a modeling gig at the shopping complex where half the senior class hung out, but she said that there was nothing wrong with the mall just off the highway near our house. Her argument was that it was closer to where we lived, on the way to her job, and just as good as the mall across town.

She was right up until the last point. 

Ocean Park Mall was the site where someone managed to rob an entire store. Whoever it was never got caught. Somehow they pulled it off without tripping any alarms. An entire department just completely cleared out. How does that even happen? 

The scandal was big enough to hit the local news. It was a miracle that the mall didn’t get shut down. Still, a whole bunch of businesses packed up and left. Only a handful were left standing. 

Nowadays, it seemed like the only things Ocean Park was good for was escaping the summer heat or grabbing a bite to eat in the 2.5 out of 5 stars food court. Every now and then Ocean Park would hold special events. Things like pop idol meet and greets, book signings, niche culture conventions, and that runway show that my mom signed me up for.

“Aqua Simone Moore,” Mom huffed as she drove me to Ocean Park for my first fitting, “wipe that gloom-and-doom look off your face. You always look so unsatisfied and I cannot for the life of me figure out what is wrong with you.”

I didn’t answer. All I did was slump some more in my seat, which I knew she hated.

Mom narrowed her eyes at me – as if that would do anything – and finally sighed. 

“Aqua, you know your father and I try to give you and your brothers everything that we can.”

But nothing that I ask for, I thought to myself. Just because she and Dad substituted one thing for something else didn’t mean I had to like it. 

Not in a million years would I ever say this to her because that would get me in a world of trouble. Mom would go home and tell Dad and before I knew it, I would be listening to a thousand lectures about how I’m not grateful enough and how they don’t know how I got this way.

Nevermind that I made perfect grades, stayed out of trouble, and almost never asked to go anywhere cool – but who cares when I’m not grateful and looking content whenever they choose to give me alternatives to the things that actually mean a lot to me.

I could have explained to my mom for the umpteenth time why it was important for me to have a cell phone to start keeping up with my friends over the summer before we all went away to college the next year. Or that the reason that I needed to land gigs at Arrow Crest Mall was for similar reasons.

I wanted to be near my friends. I wanted to spend time with them before this part of our lives was all over and we were flung across the country to different campuses. It wasn’t too much to ask for, right?

Apparently it was. 

“Thanks, Mom,” I said when she dropped me off. I tried to put on my best I-promise-that-I’m-one-hundred-percent-grateful smile right before she drove off. 

From the outside, Ocean Park Mall looked like your average shopping complex. Not the kind of place where businesses came to get robbed. But the moment you walked inside, it became clear that Ocean Park was well on its way to becoming a dead mall.

I looked around and sighed.

The first thing I noticed was the outdated paint job from the eighties. My eyes scanned the giant palms that were thoughtfully arranged to give the space a comfortably populated feeling. I followed their trunks up to the vast atrium ceiling. I suspected that the pyramid design usually let in a lot of natural light, but today it was raining. It made the already lonely space feel more like an indoor graveyard.

I wandered over to one of the central fountains and took a seat on the ledge. The sound of rushing water did little to soothe my nerves.

If I had a cell phone right now, I could see if anyone was willing to meet up.

I grumbled the thought aloud, but the truth was, I wasn’t so sure if any of my friends would come all the way out here just to hang with me.

Judging from the conversations I had on my home landline last night, all of my friends had some excuse as to why they couldn’t make it this week.

Work.

Babysitting.

No gas money.

They all seemed pretty legit, but I probably could have gotten one of them to say yes if I pushed hard enough. 

But who wants to work that hard to convince their friends to want to go out their way? I felt like I was good enough to be worth the inconvenience. At least, I did before going into each of those conversations.

I wrapped my arms around my bare shoulders and did my best to not look as pitiful as I felt. After glancing around to make sure that no one was looking, I bowed my head and let my anxiety consume me.

There was a strong chance that I knew some of the kids that hung out at Ocean Park. Some of them probably even worked here. I used to attend the middle school in this area before my parents enrolled me in the charter school on the other side of town. 

I hadn’t kept in touch with anyone since I left. I wasn’t the only one from that feeder school who didn’t opt to go to the nearest high school. From what I gathered, transfer kids like me were considered stuck up. As if I had a choice in where my parents decided to send me to school. 

I prayed that no one recognized me. Maybe I would be lucky and no one from my old school would cross my path. 

But that was very hopeful thinking.

“Aqua?”

My head lifted automatically without even realizing that my worst fear had already come to pass. I hadn’t even been here for five minutes before someone recognized me. 

“Uh, yeah?” I said without thinking twice. The last thing I needed was someone thinking there was something wrong with me.

“Whoa, it really is you. Your hair was black in the headshots you sent, so I wasn’t sure.”

I stood up, realizing that I was talking to one of the designers. When it came to these small business boutiques, it was very important to get to know your designer as best as one could. This person had sort of shaggy, dirty blond hair with a natural redness to her cheeks and lips. When she smiled, I was hit with a wave of breath mints.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you wait,” I said, jutting out my hand to shake the designer’s. She was about four inches shorter than me. I wasn’t that tall for a model – only five feet, seven inches. 

“Nice to meet you…” I said, shaking her hand sincerely but not knowing how to address her.

“It’s Elliot!” She said brightly. Then craned her neck a bit and added, “Wow. You have really great bone structure. Your pictures are awesome, but they don’t do you justice.”

I gave her a genuine thank you and couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Everyone says that when they meet me.”

Elliot let go of my hand. “Well, it’s true! I’m excited to work with you. And don’t worry about being late. I’m totally early. You can come with me now if you don’t mind helping me open up?”

Most of the mall stores weren’t open yet and I wasn’t about to hang out in an empty food court, so I agreed to tag along. Plus, I already felt comfortable around Elliot. I was curious to learn more about her point of view as a designer. 

As it turned out, she hadn’t had her store up for very long. She said that she was just starting out in the business and renting out a space in Ocean Park was the best decision financially.

“I mean, I know this place is supposed to be haunted or whatever. But I just don’t have that many options, you know what I mean?”

I was doing just fine listening to her until she said the word haunted.

Elliot must have seen the look on my face because she snorted and said, “C’mon, Aqua. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard the rumors? What with that store getting robbed and no one having a single clue who did it or how they even pulled it off? Everyone’s saying it was probably a ghost.”

Based on her tone, I’m guessing that no one actually believed this rumor. Not even her.

I did my best to laugh along with Elliot as I helped her unlock the padlock to the store and pull back the gates. While Elliot was lifting the metal curtain, I noticed someone coming around the corner.

This person wasn’t wearing shoes.

Or a shirt for that matter. Just a pair of dark denims.

I blinked, trying not to stare. But that was impossible.

A guy with dark shoulder-length hair walked past us. He was close enough to me that his shoulder swept some of my teal curls to the side. He seemed pretty damn confident for someone walking around shirtless inside a shopping mall, but there was a shadow hanging about him as well. As if he barely registered that he was walking so close to us.

“Morning, Sean,” Elliot said in a voice that suggested this wasn’t the first time this had happened. 

The six-foot dark cloud of a boy had already passed by us, but he stopped sort of abruptly and looked over his shoulder.

His eyes scanned us once, lingering on me just a hair longer. As if he was trying to figure out who the hell I was.

“Uh, yeah. Good morning.” His brows came together in the faintest degree of frustration. “Um…”

“Elliot!” The shop owner chimed, clearly finding Sean’s spaced-out reaction quite endearing. Then she clapped me on the back and said, “And this is Aqua. She’s going to be working my looks in the runway show next month.”

Sean blinked a couple of times. I wondered if he had even heard of a fashion show before. That’s how clueless he looked.

“Right.” Sean’s eyes had finally cleared in understanding. “See you then, I guess. Um… Elliot.”

Elliot snapped her fingers and shot Sean a wink. “Yeah you will!”

The muscles in Sean’s face eased a bit. It wasn’t quite a smile, but it was something pretty close.

“And... Aqua.” 

I don’t know if he did this purposely, but Sean turned slightly at the waist when he said my name so that his chest was facing me.

“See you around.”

He almost made it sound like a question. 

I honestly can’t remember what I said. Probably just “yeah.” Nothing memorable, witty or cute, that was for sure.

When the guy had left, I asked, “Who was that and why did you make him talk to us?”

Elliot gave a heartfelt chuckle as she flicked on the lights to her shop.

“That was Sean Mori. Sorry, but I absolutely could not help myself. He’s hilarious and adorable and I had a sneaking suspicion that meeting you would get him to say something other than, ‘Uh hey.’”

For a second, Elliot embodied Sean’s particular flavor of spacey-hot-mess when she imitated him. Then the designer broke character and flashed me a sly grin. “Turns out I was right.”

I scoffed as I followed Elliot to the checkout counter and leaned on the corner while she set up the register.

“Please. He didn’t even smile. He was totally checked out with both of us.”

Elliot snickered and shook her head, but she didn’t try to prove me wrong. 

“What is up with that guy anyway?” I said, thinking back to Sean’s lean muscle definition. He wasn’t a Greek god or anything, but… I liked what I saw. “I mean, who were we talking to just now?” 

“Well, Aqua, if the rumors about this place are true,” Elliot closed the register and sighed, “then you just met our resident ghost buster.”

[skzhocomments]

The Rising Empress (Bang Chan) - Chapter 9 - Yearning for More

General Masterlist

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 8 | Chapter 10

Taglist: @vxllxnsworld

---

Chapter 9 - Yearning for More

Chapter word count: 3.2k words

The next morning, Aristia wakes up surprisingly well rested, despite Chan’s arm lying heavily on top of her waist. Her body is facing his, and she notices that he is still sleeping soundly, so she opts to stay unmoving instead of getting out of bed.

She watches his naked chest moving up and down with each of his breaths, and she observes his relaxed expression. He’s normally stressed, and besides last night when they slept together, she’s never seen him look so at ease.

Thinking about it, sleeping with him was not as scary as she thought it would be. She’s always been taught to fear her first night, but it was entirely different to what she expected. Chris, whom she thought to be a stern man initially, has proved to be gentle and caring, attentive of her needs. He made her feel good, and he focused on her first, and only then on himself.

She continues watching his sleeping figure and thinks over their conversation last night, how they’ve opened up to each other, and what led to them sleeping together.

“Chris, you can trust me, but… can I trust you?” She whispers, feeling uncertain.

It might be irrational to feel this way, but she hoped so much he would come rescue her from her father.

The gullible thought brings a soft chuckle to her lips. She now knows that after all, she is the only one who can save herself, and the fact that he didn’t come in time made her not trust him at all.

Despite spending the night together, she still can’t bring herself to even begin to rely on him and believe his intentions or feelings are genuine.

She starts moving her right hand to softly caress Chan’s left side of the face, and he begins stirring slightly, his brows furrowing.

He squeezes the skin on her waist a little under the blanket and lazily opens his eyes.

“Hey.” Aristia smiles.

“Good morning.” He returns her smile and alternates between closing his eyes and opening them again, unaware of her inner turmoil.

“Did you sleep well?” She continues in a whisper, not wanting to let out any loud noises as he just woke up.

“Surprisingly so.” He chuckles slightly. “Why is your face so red?”

It appears that her thoughts about last night provoked this unsightly burning in her cheeks, giving her away, so the first thing she does is try to hide it. She turns on her back and covers her cheeks with her hands, beginning to smile uncontrollably.

Chris laughs at her reaction, but decides not to press any further, and stands up instead, covering himself with a robe near the bed.

“So, what are your plans today?”

“Hmm, what day is it?” She sits up, looking around the bed to find her own lingerie. She grimaces at the thought of having to go back to her rooms dressed like last night.

“Friday. What, was the sex that good you forgot what day it was?” Chris laughs slightly, making Aristia blush even more.

“Chris! You can’t say that!” She scolds with a gasp.

“Why not?”

“It’s too… vulgar! Ugh! Wait, did you say Friday?”

“Mhm.”

“Shit! I have to meet Seungmin at 12.” She hastily gets out of bed and grabs her panties and bra from the floor.

“Is that not vulgar?” He laughs.

“This is serious! What time is it? Where is the bathroom? God, I have to go and change as well!”

“You’re an Empress, Aristia. You don’t have to hurry anywhere. People are meant to wait for you however much.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but he already hates my guts. If I’m also late-”

“Hey.” He places his hands on her shoulders, making her stay still. “Seungmin is one of your subordinates. He can wait. Besides, it’s still quite early, so take it easy and let’s have breakfast first.” He says, pointing to the clock on the wall behind him.

It’s a little bit after 9.

“Fine.” Her shoulders relax the moment she sees the time. “Where is your bathroom?”

“Right there.” He points to a door on the opposite side of the room, and with a short nod, she heads towards it.

Peeing stings a bit, and she feels a little sore, but she’s once more grateful that Chris was gentle with her, because what she’s feeling is nothing compared to what she’s read in the anatomy books.

When she’s back in the room, a clothes rack with multiple of her dresses is already there, and Chris rummages through them, seemingly paying close attention to each and every one of them.

“Still no corsets?” He asks when he sees her approaching.

“No. I’m honestly not sure I’ll ever go back to them. These dresses are way more comfortable.” She chuckles.

“Who knows, maybe you’ll create a new trend among the noble ladies.”

“I doubt it. Women must wear corsets, otherwise they look unsightly. Corsets help achieve that perfect silhouette I’m lacking, but I just… it hurts to wear them, since they’re pressing on the scars.” She explains, her voice faltering near the end, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Chris.

“You don’t need a corset to look beautiful. Your silhouette is perfect to me.” He shrugs. “Can you turn around?”

She nods and follows his request, quite glad for it as her cheeks are turning red again, and once her back is turned to him, he removes her hair in order to look at the wounds.

“These look so much better.” He says, and she simply nods. “Still painful?”

“No, only if I touch them too roughly.”

“Good.” He presses a soft kiss to her back, making her eyes go wide. She doesn’t know why he’s acting this way all of a sudden, but it makes her heart beat a bit faster inside her ribcage.

Once he’s done examining the scars and showing affection, he playfully slaps her ass and chuckles at her gasp.

“Chris!” She frowns as he continues laughing.

“I like this one.” He points to one of the dresses on the rack, a white silk regency dress with tulip sleeves, and then goes to the bathroom as well.

Aristia looks at the dress Chris picked. It’s a beautiful and delicate dress, and she puts it on with ease. Then, she goes next to the bed and grabs her crown from the nightstand. She vaguely remembers taking it off and placing it there carefully before getting into bed.

She examines it under the sun rays coming from the large windows, and the gold glistens back. She heads in front of a mirror and places the crown on her head, and for the first time ever since her wedding when she earned the right to wear it, she doesn’t feel its weight pressing down on her.

The crown is comfortable, it fits her just right, and she looks… she looks just as an Empress should. She’s gracious and elegant.

When Chris returns to the room, he sees her admiring herself in the mirror and his cheeks burn.

“I’m back, beautiful.” He smiles and approaches her, pressing a short kiss on her cheek, making her giggle.

“Aren’t you going to get dressed?” She points at his night robe.

“I should, since our food should get here in… 5 minutes?” He laughs but makes no attempt to move away from Aristia.

Instead, he places his hands on her waist and looks at how both of them look in the mirror. He is taller, so he’s visible even if she is in front of him. They look like a good pair, Chris notices, and he really likes how the Empire’s crown seems to fit her.

Aristia doesn’t fail to notice how good they look either, but her heart once again pangs at the sight of Chris, who, even without a crown, looks like an Emperor. His aura itself emanates dominance and sovereignty, and she almost shudders, but the crown she wears reminds her that they share a throne, and she is his equal.

Only in name, she remembers cruelly, and that strong feeling of longing washes down on her again. She yearns to be as powerful as him, to be a true Empress.

He is unaware of her inner turmoil as he leans down and presses a kiss on her neck, right behind her ear, and she shudders briefly, before leaning her head on the side as well, allowing him more access to kiss her whole neck, which he begins doing with slow, deliberate movements.

Aristia closes her eyes and focuses on the way his lips feel against her neck, and before she knows it, Chris spins her around and kisses her lips hastily, and thus begins a war between the two, fought with muffled moans and roaming hands, until a knock on the door pulls them out of their trance.

“Your Majesty, may we enter?” A male voice on the other side of the door alerts the two that breakfast is ready to be served.

“One minute!” Chris answers and begins moving around the room, opening his drawers and pulling out some comfortable clothes he’s going to cover up with his large golden robe anyway.

Just as commanded, his butler enters the room one minute later, followed by a bunch of maids that are pushing all sorts of carts. They begin decorating the large table in Chan’s room, filling up the vases with freshly cut flowers and arranging their plates.

By the time Aristia sits down at the table, her cheeks are bright red, and she feels arousal pooling down at her core. She involuntarily clenches her legs together and holds her breath, hoping it will calm her down.

“Prince Felix asked if he may take breakfast with you.” The butler bows, and with a nod of Chris’ head, he sends one of the maids to summon the prince.

“Brother! Sister!” Felix enters the room happily a few moments later, a large smile adorning his beautiful face. He is truly happy to see the two finally getting along, and he sits down and admires how lovestruck they both look.

They begin talking and spend a pleasant time together serving breakfast, and when they’re done eating, Aristia excuses herself just in time for the meeting with Seungmin.

~

Her chest is filled with anxiety as she opens the doors to her study and notices that Seungmin is already there, despite her coming 20 minutes earlier. He seems immersed in a book and doesn’t notice her presence at first, but once he does, he stands up and bows shortly, in a merely superficial way.

“Good afternoon.” She says, and he smiles briefly, before his lips return to a tight, straight line.

“So, let’s cut to the chase. Jisung and I found the issue, so let’s hear your answer.” He says, barely allowing Aristia enough time to sit down.

“Well, with the invention of golden paints, it’s quite easy to make cheap tin look like precious golden coins, isn’t it?”

Seungmin nods.

“Then… I can only assume the issue of our economy plummeting occurred because of counterfeit coins.” She replies after a few seconds, her eyes stuck on his expression.

Truth was, she figured it out on the first day. But their whole deal wasn’t simply figuring it out. She also had to find a solution to the problem, but as far as solutions go… she couldn’t come up with anything good enough, she believes.

“I’m impressed.” Seungmin says, and there’s not an ounce of mockery on his face. He seems genuinely fascinated that the Empress found the right answer on her own in just a few days. “Which books have you read to figure it out?”

Aristia starts listing all the book titles she remembers that have passed through her hands the past week, and with each title, Seungmin’s eyes grow wider.

“You’ve read a lot.” He comments, finding it hard to conceal his excitement. “Congratulations, you passed. We can begin our lessons-”

“I… didn’t, though...?” She tilts her head. “I have yet to tell you of a solution to this issue…”

“Have you also found a solution, then?!” He asks, this time with an excited, genuine smile. “Jisung and I are still thinking about it.”

“I’ve thought of many things, but… I don’t see how any of them would work practically.” She frowns.

“Let’s start there, then. What have you thought of?”

“Coins are… difficult to work with, for the lack of a better word. They are heavy, hard to store and carry around, and gold is a scarce resource that will eventually run out if we keep mining it.”

Seungmin listens with interest.

“I was thinking, uhm… when one of my maids brought me the newspaper the other day, an idea came to mind. What if… it sounds crazy, but hear me out. What if we stopped using coins, and used paper instead?”

“That’s…” Seungmim shakes his head, a frown overcoming his usually composed face. “How would that even work?”

“We could hire an artist and a craftsman to develop and engrave an official design of the Empire… maybe using the Emperor’s face, and other relevant symbols, then use a printing press… each piece of paper would also have a serial number to somehow identify it, and if we’d set up different places around the country that would develop these banknotes, we’d be able to tell where the counterfeit money comes from, based on what number they are using on their papers, should anyone try and print fake money.”

“Your Highness, it’s an interesting idea but… you do realise that this would mean… changing the whole economic system, right?”

“… That’s why I’m unsure if this is any good… it might be too difficult to implement.”

“Besides, how would we convince the people? Paper? Paper has no value! People won’t be willing to give up on using golden coins and adapt paper.”

“They would, if the Empire stopped trading using coins. We’d replace everyone’s gold with the value in paper money during a period of time, and then refuse to accept golden coins for any transaction involving the Palace.”

“I’m not sure about this, Your Highness… I have to consider it a bit more and discuss it with Jisung.”

Aristia nods.

“I hope you can understand the postponement of today’s lesson, then.”

“Oh, are you going to talk about this with him now?” Her eyes grow wide.

“Yes, it’s certainly something we haven’t thought of.”

“Then… May I join?”

Seungmin looks at her for a few moments, hesitating, but eventually decides to agree. One more brain wouldn’t hurt, and Aristia’s already proved that she has more than enough.

As they begin walking out of her office guarded by Changbin who has to follow her everywhere as her personal guard, Aristia realises she recognises the way, and frowns a bit.

Why are they heading towards the Emperor’s office?

Not that she doesn’t want to see Chris again, she just didn’t expect it so soon after they just parted ways less than one hour ago.

As Lee Know announces their presence, Chris seems as taken aback as her.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Seungmin says as he sits down comfortably on one of the sofas around the table next to Jisung.

Aristia looks between the two sofas, and while there would technically be enough space for her to sit comfortably next to Jisung and Seungmin, she decides to sit next to Chris instead.

She rearranges her skirt and sits down, and as she does so, Chris slips an arm around her waist, making both their advisors widen their eyes, with Jisung almost gasping.

“What brings you here?” Chris asks Aristia with a gentle smile, and she involuntarily raises a hand and tugs her hair behind her ear.

“We decided to pay you a visit.” She jokes, and Chris starts chuckling. Jisung’s mouth falls open even more, moment when Seungmin nudges him with his elbow.

“A very pleasant surprise.” Chris answers. “How did Seungmin’s test go, did you pass?”

“I think so.” She smiles.

“We actually came because the Empress had a pretty interesting idea that might just work.” Seungmin interjects, making Chris turn his eyes from his wife to his advisor.

He starts pitching in the idea of paper money to Chris and Jisung, who listen closely, and Aristia intervenes whenever some more details would come to mind. After all, this idea’s been brewing in her head for the past couple of days, so she knows the most about it, but she is also pleasantly surprised to notice that Seungmin also adds a couple of his own thoughts into the mix, with more concrete plans and even with naming specific people that could execute the orders of engraving, printing and distributing the paper money.

“Did you truly come up with this?” Chris asks Aristia with a bewildered look on his face when Seungmin finishes. “All by yourself?”

“Yeah. I mean, Seungmin made me think some stuff over, but… yes. I thought of it after reading and realising how easily available paper is, compared to gold.”

“That could work…” Chris nods his head, thinking it over. “What do you say, Jisung?”

“I… wow, I don’t even know. Not only could it work, but it’s actually… brilliant.” Jisung replies, his eyes still wide, as they’ve been during the whole of Seungmin’s speech. “Your Highness might just be a genius.”

“Oh, please.” Aristia waves her right hand in the air dismissively with a slight tint on her cheeks. She’s never enjoyed flattery.

“I’m serious. It’s a great idea, however…”

“What?” Chris asks.

“I’m not sure how the people will react to it, though.”

“I also fear repercussions from the people…” Seungmin chimes in.

“Come up with a plan and we’ll see.” Chris instructs, and both the advisors stand up and bow shortly before leaving the room in a rush.

Unsure of what to do, Aristia stands up as well, but Chris appears to have other plans, as he grabs her hand and pulls her onto him, causing her to fall on the sofa on top of him.

“Chris!” She gasps in shock at the sudden action, flustered by their proximity.

“What?” He asks amused, moving his left hand on the back of her thigh and collecting the fabric of her skirt to get his hand under it.

“Here?” She asks, becoming even more flustered. “What if someone barges in?”

“Who will dare to?” He chuckles, more amusement on his face, noticing her flustered expression.

He finally succeeds in placing his hand on her naked thigh and is quick to raise it until he gets to her bum, giving it a light squeeze.

“You’re impossible.” She chuckles, placing her hand on his and taking it away from her, as she stands up and rearranges her clothes.

Chris sits up with an amused expression, manspreading on the sofa and resting an arm lazily against the backrest, and as if on cue, Felix hastily opens the door, a big smile across his face.

“Brother, I- Oh! Sister is here too!” He greets them gleefully with a short bow.

“Fine, you win.” Chris smirks, looking straight into Aristia’s eyes.

“What did I tell you?” She revealed her teeth in a proud grin, with an eyebrow raised, as if challenging him.

“You won? What did you win?” Felix approaches them.

“It’s nothing.” Aristia clarifies.

“Just a little game we’ve been playing.” Chris continues smirking like the cat who got the cream, and Felix’s confusion only grows.

“It’s seriously nothing, Lix.” Aristia insists again, laughing uncomfortably.

“If you say so. I’m happy to see you two getting along better!”

“We’ve always gotten along well.” Chris shrugs.

“Yeah, sure.” Aristia rolls her eyes playfully. “Anyway, I have to go. There’s something to discuss with the butler regarding the gathering on Sunday.”

“Oh, right! You have that tea party with the court ladies, don’t you?” Felix asks excitedly, to which Aristia simply nods with a brief smile. She then bows to the two royals and makes her way out of the room.

Whatever Felix wanted from Chan, she didn’t get to hear.

~

Chapter 8 | Chapter 10

[justanotherwriterchick]

2. A duel to remember

Chapter 2 of Living a Hogwarts Legacy. Part 1 here, Wattpad here

Hogwarts Legacy fanfic (mostly) following the storyline, Sebastian x MC

It was a special experience to wake up in the Slytherin dormitory for the first time. The sun was shining onto the lake, creating gorgeous reflections of water dancing around the room. It was quiet and peaceful. Tobias slowly opened his eyes. It had been a long time since he had been able to sleep without nightmares, but last night he was sound asleep. If this was a harbinger of his experiences at Hogwarts, it was going to be good. Everyone else seemed to have left the dorm already, probably to hang out in the common room for a bit. With a soft groan Tobias got up, throwing his legs off the bed. Time to start the day. He threw on the house clothes he was given yesterday, and took a quick look in the mirror to check his auburn hair. Deciding it was fine, he grabbed his mother’s wand from his nightstand and made his way to the common room.

It looked a lot different from last night. It still had the green tinge and the leather sofas, but it was less gloomy. The walls were decorated with paintings of famous Slytherins and tapestries. To the back of the room were enormous windows that allowed the viewer to look directly into the lake. A few first years stood in front of them, peering into the lake. Tobias wondered what they were looking for. As he approached the windows, he noticed another fifth year leaning against the windowsill. “Judging by the chatter coming from the room, you must be the new fifth year.” The boy was looking in Tobias’ direction, but it was clear he couldn’t actually see him. “Guilty,” replied Tobias. “I guess the whispering won’t stop anytime soon, will it?” The boy let out a laugh. “I wouldn’t count on it. I’m Ominis, by the way. Ominis Gaunt.” “Nice to meet you, I’m Tobias Sweetleaf.” “So Tobias, you certainly had a memorable arrival…” “I do like to make an entrance,” Tobias answered, with a small grin. “Might as well make my mark right away.” “Well,” Ominis chuckled, “You are definitely in the right house. Let me know if I can be of any help as you navigate your first days here. Though I doubt you need it.” “Thanks Ominis, I appreciate that. And actually, I do have a question… What are those first years near the window looking for?” Tobias squinted, trying to find out what it was they were looking at. Ominis let out a laugh. “They are looking for mermaids,” he answered, lowering his voice a little. “No one has ever spotted any from here though, but don’t tell them. It’ll ruin the fun.” “I’ll be sure to tell them I saw one last night.” Tobias smirked. “I should get going, I need to eat before class, but it was nice meeting you, Ominis.” “Likewise. Don’t be a stranger.” Ominis gave Tobias a small smile and a nod, before making his way out of the common room.

After having breakfast in the Great Hall with some other Slytherins, Tobias made his way to the Charms classroom. The classroom had two rows of desks at each side, facing each other, with at the end of the room a desk. A blackboard flanked the left of the teacher’s desk and to the left of it was a small shelf with books and trinkets. A flamboyant man with a grey beard in purple robes beckoned the students into the classroom. “Come in, come in!” His eyes were twinkling with enthusiasm. “Find a seat please. First lesson of the year, are you excited?” The professor waited patiently for his students to sit down. Tobias entered the classroom last, looking around for familiar faces. Sebastian was seated to the far left already, Ominis next to him. Sebastian gave Tobias an apologetic look, no space was left anywhere near them. “You can sit here!” A warm voice grabbed Tobias’ attention. A Gyffindor girl with dark curls was waving at him. A bit relieved, he nodded and took the place next to her. “I’m Natsai Onai, but you can call me Natty.” Natty smiled warmly at him. “I know how hard it can be to attend Hogwarts so late.” “Thanks, I’m Tobias.” Tobias put his book on the table. “Oh, you won’t be needing them,” Natty remarked. “Professor Ronan does not like teaching by books.” “That’s right, Natty!” Professor Ronen exclaimed. “Books are great and all, but the best way to learn is by playing. So, my lovely students, today we are going to play a game. But first, a spell.” The professor took out his wand, pointing it at the books on Tobias’ table. “Accio!” Slowly, the book started to levitate, hovering through the air towards professor Ronen. “This, my students, is the summoning charm. Try to see the object clearly in your mind before summoning. You go ahead, choose something small.” Tobias turns to Natty. “Have you tried this before?” Natty chuckled. “Maybe I practiced a few times. Try getting your book back.” Tobias nodded. “No problem. Accio!” He flicked his wand and pictured his book clearly in his head. With an unexpected force, it hurled towards him, landing on his desk with a loud, but controlled thump. “Great! Great! Well done, mister Sweetleaf. You have quite the force, don’t you?” cheered Professor Ronen, with an excited clap of his hands. “Now, now. Time for a game. Follow me.”

The class followed Professor Ronen outside, onto the flying class lawn. There, a large platform appeared, with six large boulders: thee red and three blue. The platform was marked with different colours, that each represented an amount of points. “We are going to play… Summoners Court.” Professor Ronen made a grand gesture towards the setup. “Use Accio to summon the boulders, trying to get the most points. Remember! The closer the boulder, the more points. But watch out… Don’t drop the boulder off the platform.” He chuckled, eyes twinkling. “Miss Onai, would you do the honours? And, let’s see. Mister Sweetleaf!” Natty jumped onto the platform, turning towards Sebastian. “Ready to lose?” she winked. “You wish.” Tobias followed her, grinning. “Good luck.” Round 1 “Accio!” Natty’s boulder landed perfectly in the last stroke of the platform. “That’s 50 points for me.” Tobias raised an eyebrow, but then his face turns serious with concentration. “Accio!” “50 points for Tobias as well,” commented Professor Ronen. Round 2 Natty brushed up her sleeves a bit and casts their newly-learned spell again. The boulder lands in the 30 area. “Fuck.” “Accio!” Tobias’ boulder rolled up to him, landing on 20 points. “This is going to be a close call, isn’t it?” “That’s 80 for Natty, 70 for Tobias.” Professor Ronen’s eyes started glimmering even more. “Final round!” Round 3 Natty took a deep breath, steadying herself and pointing her wand. “Accio!” Her boulder started rolling, and for a minute it looked like it was going to stop at 50. “Yes, yes,” she mumbled. It balanced on the edge of the playing field, debating whether to fall or not. Natty held her breath for a second. Until the ball rolled over the edge, into the dewy grass. She groaned. “My turn.” Tobias stepped forward, concentrating on his boulder. “Accio!” It started moving rather slowly towards him. Then it steadied, landing on the 50 points. “Yes!” He punched the air in victory. Professor Ronen clapped. “Congratulations, mister Sweetleaf. You’ve won. 10 points to Slytherin!”

Natty shrugged. “Can’t be the best forever. Good game.” She offered Tobias her hand, who accepted it with a little bow. “Good game indeed. We’ll have a rematch soon.” Tobias jumped off the platform, followed by Natty, making their way towards the other students. Natty joined her Gryffindor friends, Tobias was pretty sure he had overheard the names Cressida and Garreth, but that was as much as he knew about them. Before getting the chance to speak to anyone, Professor Ronen cleared his throat. “Well, students, that’s it for today’s lesson. Feel welcome to try the game anytime.” Professor Ronen folded his hands. “And mister Sweetleaf? I have some extra assignments for you to catch up. I will sent you an owl with more information. And remember, make learning fun.” Tobias frowned. Extra assignments? Hopefully not too much…  But he nodded at Professor Ronen. “Of course, professor. Thanks for the lesson.”

The sound of bells filled the castle as a sign the second lessons were about to start. Tobias made his way to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom and was greeted by to students that seemed to be dueling each other. “Stupefy!” Sebastian shot a jet of red light towards his opponent. Tobias recognized the redhaired boy from his previous class: Leander Prewett. The two continued shooting spells at each other. “Is that all you’ve got?” Sebastian taunted. “Bombarda!” An electrifying explosion filled the classroom. The large dragon skeleton hanging from the ceiling started shaking, and with a loud crack, it started making its way down. Leander covered his head. “Levioso!” A stern voice filled the room, and the dragon skeleton hovered in the air, inches away from Leander’s head. On the opposite side of the room from Tobias, a small, old lady appeared. She looked worn and exceptionally done with the situation. “Perhaps you’d be good enough to blast each other to pieces in your own time. I get new students every year, but I only have one Hebridean Black skull.” With a flick of her wand, the skeleton floated back to its original place. With slow steps, the professor made her way down the stairs from her balcony. “Today we will review a spell that has saved me from death at the hands of Dark Wizards more times than I care to remember: Levioso.” Leander scoffed. “Levioso? A levitation charm?” “Levioso!” Before Leander could properly finish his sentence, he was already halfway through the air. “A surprised opponent is a weak opponent. Care to defend yourself, mister Prewett? No?” The professor squinted her eyes a bit, but then softly returned Leander to his feet. Sebastian snickered. “One thing I’ve learned as an Unspeakable is the value of simplicity. Especially in battle. Let’s practice what we’ve just learned.” In the half hour that followed, the professor – Professor Hecat, as Tobias learned – carefully explained the details of the levitation charm, allowing the students to practice on a feather. “Now, let’s try something bigger. The best way to learn is by dueling. Let’s start with you two.” She gestured at Tobias and Sebastian. “Duelists, take your marks.” Sebastian smirked, slowly brushing against Tobias’ arm as he walked past. “Time for a proper Hogwarts welcome.” “I want a fair duel. Only Stupefy, Levioso and Protego.” Professor Hecat drew her wand. The floor below Tobias started trembling. Slowly, he was lifted up, as beneath him a long dueling podium appeared. He steadied himself, bending slightly forward, his wand at the ready. Professor Hecat’s voice was loud and clear as she announced the start of the duel.

“Levioso!” Tobias shot forward, but Sebastian was too quick, managing to dodge. Sebastian steadied himself. “Stupefy!” “Protego!” Tobias grumbled as he blocked Sebastian’s spell. “Levioso! Stupefy!” The combination of spells was enough to hurl Sebastian in the air and flng him backwards. Sebastion was laying on the ground, but he wasn’t about to give up. “Levioso!” Tobias felt himself getting lifted in the air, Sebastian diving underneath him. “Stupefy!” A blunt force pushed Tobias forward, landing on the edge of the podium. He took a deep breath and took a sharp turn around. “Stupefy! Levioso!”He swung his wand as he was getting up. Another Stupefy going Sebastian’s way. Sebastian tried dodging, but he was too late. On the last hit, he landed on his back. His wand hit the floor, softly rolling away. Within a few steps Tobias was leaning over him. Quickly Sebastian got to his feet, but Tobias was too close and his wand was too far. The tip of Tobias’ wand was touching his throat and he could feel Tobias’ warm breath on his face. He felt his cheeks flush. “Beginner’s luck,” he uttered, composing himself. One corner of his mouth curled up. “If that’s what helps you sleep at night…” Tobias replied amused, lowering his wand. “If only all of my students were this adept.” Professor Hecat waved her wand, making the duel podium disappear. “Good job, points to Slytherin. Class dismissed.”

Tobias was smoothening his robe as Sebastian approached him. “Not bad, you give as good as you get,” Sebastian remarked with smirk. “Everyone will be talking about it. I take it this was not your first duel.” Tobias gave Sebastian a slight smile. “I may have had some practice before. But you didn’t go easy on me.” Sebastian let out a chuckle. “Would you like me to?” “On the contrary. I quite enjoyed that.” For a moment, their eyes locked. Tobias averted his gaze as Sebastian cleared his throat. “You know, you might be a perfect fit for a certain exclusive, unsanctioned dueling organisation.” His dark eyes shimmered mischievously. “Sometimes you have to break the rules a bit, right?” “Exclusive and unsanctioned?” Tobias gave Sebastian a cheeky grin, trying to ignore the pumping in his chest. “Count me in.”

[the-red-mafia]

The Recovery

The crew anxiously flies around the galaxy, searching for something. Or rather...someone. Also available on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/TheRedMafia Next Update: [Updated] Word Count: 1887

???

Thorn anxiously stared at the computer screen, waiting. They fidgeted with a pen they had found and continuously took it apart and rebuilt it. Mad stood near the control panel. It clicked on its keyboard, seemingly activating some sort of radar. Velvet was asleep on the Madbay’s bed. The teen had been up all night on watch so Mad forced them to at least rest for a few hours in the Madbay. It wasn’t long before she had fallen asleep, despite her stubbornness to the idea in the first place. Solana sat on one of the Umbrella’s chairs with their laptop. He scrolled through a news web page before groaning. She closed the device and set it down on the chair next to her. 

“Anything?” Mad asked, turning to face the elf. Solana shook their head, sighing. Mad’s screen displayed a nervous smile. 

“It’s ok, we’ll find them,” The robot said. Thorn threw his hands in the air, causing the pen to clatter to the ground. 

“This is pointless!” Ae shouted, “We’re never going to find them!”

“That’s not true,” Mad replied calmly, “It’s just taking a bit…longer than we expected.”

“It’s been a week!”

“Thorn, I know you don’t know us. But trust me when I say that we're not going to stop looking for them. Maroon’s our teammate and friend and we’re not leaving them behind.”

“They’re probably dead!” Thorn snapped. It took a shaky breath and looked towards the floor. A few tears fell to the floor and Thorn quickly wiped their face. After a few seconds, Solana shook his head.

“Doubtful,” Solana said

“Wait, what do you mean ‘doubtful’?” Thorn looked up at Solana as they stood to stretch.

“They mean that Unor wouldn’t kill them. He’s a scientist, he’d prefer to study them,” Mad replied while still scanning the radar system.

“And by study, I assume you mean torture?” A voice from behind the trio said. Velvet stepped into the fluorescent lights that illuminated the Umbrella’s cockpit. Her dyed red hair seemed to have been barely brushed and pinned out of her face and her uniform looked as if it hadn’t been changed in a week. With the bags forming under the teens eyes, it was no wonder Mad had forced them to bed.

“As always your timing is impeccable, Velvet,” Solana said sarcastically, once again seated and resting their eyes.

“What do you mean ‘torture’?!” Thorn’s anxiety was now coming through in their voice. Velvet rolled her eyes at Thorn. 

“I mean torture, frūx. It means exactly what you think,” they mumbled, plopping down next to Solana, “To be honest, death would be more pleasant.”

“Velvet, stop,” Mad commanded, “Also, didn’t I tell you to sleep for a few hours? It’s only been 3.”

“Exactly, a few is three.”

“Three or more.”

“We don't have time for more,” The assassin said, crossing their arms, “It’s only a matter of time until he gets what he wants.”

“And what’s that?” Thorn asked, narrowing his eyes at Velvet. 

“Who’s to say?” Velvet replied, shrugging, “Most likely he’s trying to find the source of Maroon’s powers to recreate it. That way he can give himself the powers to add to his arsenal.”

“What’s his name?” Velvet raised an eyebrow.

“Unor Bolton?” 

“I fucking hate him.” Velvet let out a strained chuckle.

“You’re not the only one.”

“Velvet, are you sure Maroon isn’t at any facility you know of?” Mad asked, turning back to face the screen once more. 

“Like I fucking told you twenty times already,” Velvet snapped, glaring at the robot, “Unor’s not stupid. He knows I’m here. He wouldn’t hide them anywhere I know unless it's a trap. He’s probably counting on us showing up to one of the secret bases, which is what we’re not going to do.”

“But what if it’s not a trap? What if Maroon is actually there and we’re wasting time trying to outsmart him?” Thorn asked. Velvet sent a glare toward the crowned teenager. 

“I think I know his tactics a bit more than you, frūx.” 

“I have a name, you know.”

“I don’t care, you know.” Solana elbowed the assassin in the arm. 

“Enough, Velvet,” the elf muttered. Velvet rolled their eyes as Mad let out a sigh. 

“Have we heard anything from Zaeor?” The robot asked. Velvet shook her head. 

“Nope, but he’s searching just as much as we are.”

“Some god he is,” Thorn mumbled, “Ailuj would’ve found Maroon by now.” Velvet stood up quickly, drawing Kil-layye Mo’ore and pinning Thorn against the wall. 

“You better watch yourself, ‘Thorn’,” Velvet growled, placing the cold metal on the teen’s neck. 

“Velvet!” Mad yelled. Solana also stood up, grabbing the sword from Velvet and placing herself in between the two teenagers. 

“Fighting is helping no one,” the elf muttered, “If we’re going to find Maroon we’re going to have to do it as a team.”

“Yeah, we can. But them?” Velvet pointed at Thorn, “I don’t trust them one fucking bit.” 

“Right back at you, bitch,” Thorn muttered, sending a glare towards Velvet.

“Enough!” Mad called out, “Solana is right. Velvet, it doesn’t matter if you trust Thorn right now. We’re going to need all the help we can get to save Maroon. I know you’re suspicious of him, but we don’t exactly have a choice here.”

“We don’t need aer fucking help,” Velvet stated, crossing their arms, “But fine, whatever. It’s not like I’m the leader or anything.” Thorn let out a strained chuckle. 

“They’re your leader? No wonder Maroon got kidnapped.” Solana quickly grabbed Velvet’s arms as the teen jumped to attack Thorn once more. The elf pinned her arms to her sides, keeping her in place. Mad sighed.

“Thorn, I understand that you’re suspicious of us, I get it. But like I told Velvet, we all have to work together to find Maroon. We can’t keep fighting like this.” Thorn looked at the robot before sighing. 

“Alright, point taken.” 

“Solana, let go of me,” Velvet hissed. 

“Are you going to stop acting like a child?” The elf asked. Velvet glared at them. 

“I’ll take that as a no.” Suddenly, a loud ding echoed through the room, causing everyone to jump a little. Mad turned around and began clicking buttons on the keyboard. After a few seconds, the droid let out a series of victorious beeps. 

“What is it?” Solana asked. Mad turned around to face the group, a giant smile on their T.V. screen.

“Maroon’s homing beacon just activated. We’ve found them.”

The Umbrella was filled with an anxious silence as they approached Maroon’s location. Velvet fastened the oxygen mask to her face before turning and handing one to Thorn. 

“Thanks,” Thorn mumbled. Velvet nodded and turned back around, handing the last mask to Solana. 

“With this planet’s low oxygen atmosphere, we have no idea what we’re walking into,” the assassin began coldly, “We need to stay laser-focused, no matter what we see. There’s a high chance this is a trap. We have about 20 minutes of air in our tanks, so conserve it. We’ll leave in 18, no matter what. Clear?”

“Clear,” Mad and Solana repeated back. Thorn just nodded. The team looked out the window as the Umbrella lowered towards the dusty, orange soil. As they approached, a giant wall-like shadow appeared in the distance. It looked like pure white marble ruins, standing about 10 feet tall. When they got closer, they saw that colorful fungus and huge mushrooms surrounded the area. Chanterelle mushrooms grew as tall as redwood trees in between various pieces of debris. It soon became clear that these were no ancient ruins. No, these were the ruins of a ship. Velvet’s eyes widened. 

“Mihi deus,” they breathed. Mad turned to them. 

“What is it?”

“That’s Unor’s main ship. See those arches? They’re inspired by ancient Roman architecture; you can find them on any of Unor’s ships. These ones are specifically designed to mimic drawings of Olympus, so he put them on the biggest ship in his fleet.”

“And those mushrooms are Maroon’s,” Thorn mumbled, “I’d recognize them anywhere.” Mad looked out at the wreckage as its screen went blank. 

“...What happened?”

Solana and Thorn jumped over a large piece of wreckage, using the lowered gravitational pull to their advantage. Solana’s feet softly landed on a marble floor, shortly followed by Thorn. Various mushrooms and fungi lined the empty walls, slightly swaying in the nonexistent wind. The ceiling of this section had been ripped clean off and currently sat about 10 meters away. The once white floor was now covered in various shades of crimson, orange, and light brown. What was once a pristine corridor was now a mushroom manor, sending a chill down Solana’s spine. That’s when they noticed it: a body, lying in the corner of the corridor with mushrooms growing out of its skull. Thorn’s heart skipped a beat as they stared at it. This body was clearly dead, and had been for a while. 

“Is that…” Thorn stuttered out, pointing a shaking finger towards the lump of flesh. Solana’s eyes widened and he quickly ran over to the body. The elf moved a few of the mushrooms before letting out a relieved sigh. 

“It’s not them,” she said, turning back towards Thorn.

“Thank gods.”

“Come on, let’s follow this hallway.” The pair carefully proceeded forward, stepping over mushroom gore as they went. There was so much anxiety in the air, it was almost suffocating. Solana and Thorn remained silent for multiple minutes until the hallway ended in a closed sliding door. It was glass, and the two humanoids could see a thin, long body curled up at the base of a tall, tree-like mushroom. The body had multiple bleeding cuts at various parts of their body, and the blood had stained the nearby mushrooms crimson. It was faint, but the duo could see their chest rising and falling. The face was impossible to see, but Thorn gasped when they saw the messy split red and black hair covering it. 

“Maroon!” Thorn screamed, attempting to open the door. The body didn’t stir, and the door remained shut tight. “Thorn, move. I’ll knock down the door,” Solana yelled. Thorn obliged and the elf ran forward. They kicked the door and it swung open, almost shattering the glass. Thorn ran forward and slid onto the ground next to Maroon’s body. They slowly tilted their head upwards with tears running down their face. Maroon was unconscious and there were multiple cuts on various parts of their body. A giant gash above their left eye was releasing a steady stream of crimson blood onto Thorn’s hand. Maroon was dressed in a white pair of pants and shirt but blood was splattered all over it, with one giant pool forming near the left side of their abdomen. Solana quickly ran next to it and knelt down. 

“Shit,” he muttered, “That’s a lot of blood.” Thorn choked back a sob. Solana quickly put the backpack she was holding onto the ground and began digging around. After a few moments they pulled out another oxygen mask and wasted no time attaching it onto Maroon. 

“Velvet, Mad, come in,” Solana muttered, raising their hand to their ear and activating their comms microphone, “We found them.”