#and I’m made to feel like I’m being selfish and manipulative just because I want to be able to talk to my friend a little more often

[mrsbarnesblog]

i am not the only one who saw that, right?

masterlist

summary: your friends find out that you secretly dating their enemy, but their opinion might completely change when they see Rafe from another point of view

words count: 2.2k

warnings: secret relationship, pogue!reader, attempted assault, mention of blood, soft and protective Rafe

a/n: inbox is open for requests💘

“You cannot be dating Rafe fucking Cameron, Y/N!” John B exclaimed, burying his hands in his hair and walking all around the place. 

“No, seriously, this is not a good idea.” Sarah looked at you, giving out a nervous laugh. 

You were currently surrounded by your friends, who were all practically yelling at you after they accidentally saw a message from Rafe on your phone. You were one of the pogues; you never hanged out around the kooks, but somehow, when you were visiting Sarah a few months ago, you got into a random conversation with Rafe, and since that moment, the connection between you two has only gotten stronger. 

It was an instant click and as much as you both tried to deny the spark, it was there. As you started going out, secretly from everyone, of course, you decided to keep it private until the right time. 

“Alright, guys, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I knew that this would be your reaction. It just happened, okay?” You rubbed the bridge of your nose, already feeling a headache from the tense situation. All of your friends were standing on the opposite side of you and it felt like they were just attacking you. 

“What were you thinking? You know that he hates people like us, like you. We are pogues, Y/N. How the hell did that even happen?” Kiara was standing with her hands on her hips, as her piercing eyes were studying you. You felt awful looking at Pope, who was the one who always supported you, but he just shook his head and stepped away. 

“I don’t know. It just happened. We talked once when Sarah left, then I accidentally met him a few times in town, and then he texted me. He’s not bad when you know him closer.” You sighed. “Look, I know Rafe was a lot of trouble for us. He did bad things; I know that. But he’s not like that; he’s sweet and caring, and he has never shown any sign of being disrespectful towards me. I just can’t deny my feelings for him.”

“Honey, Rafe is not a good person. He doesn’t care about anything or anyone; he’s evil, selfish and manipulative.” Sarah stepped closer to you, touching your hand. “He’ll play with you, hurt your feelings and just throw you away.”

“And he probably just wants to get into your pants.” JJ grumbled, also taking a defensive position. 

“I haven't even slept with him yet, JJ!” You desperately snapped at him. It felt ridiculous, like all of them turned against you at the same time. Sure, Rafe wasn’t the sweetest person to them before, but they didn’t even give you a chance to say something in your defense. “And you’re wrong too, Sarah. All of Rafe’s actions were just to get people’s attention and appreciation. All it took for me to get on his soft side was to just listen to him and give him some affection. Other people didn’t care enough, including you and your father. He needs someone who he can trust and open up to because he’s hurt.” 

“No, Y/N. If you think that he loves you, then he just got into your head. My brother doesn’t love anyone. It will end badly; I just know that.” 

Tears gathered in your eyes, and a lump in your throat made it difficult to say anything back, so you just stupidly stayed there. You had no strength to fight with all five of them at the same time. You turned around, silently getting back in the car, even though your head was filled with doubt and dark thoughts because of their words. 

For the next few days, it was tough for all of you. You and the rest of the group were still close, and even though they were completely against your relationship, you still met and hung out. The pit in your heart was still there, no matter how hard you tried to act nonchalant and not let their words get into your head. 

Rafe noticed the change in your behavior—that you were upset with something—but he didn’t put any pressure on you and allowed you to decide for yourself when you wanted to open up. 

Pogues decided to go to some party on the cut near the beach and as much as you tried to refuse, Sarah and Kiara managed to drag you there. You all rarely went to such places, preferring to hang out in your little circle, but apparently everyone wanted to clear their heads and saw it as the best opportunity. 

It was pretty fun with a bunch of people you did not know, some music, and drinks, and you mostly hung out with your friends. Though quickly it got overwhelming and made you want to go home or at least go outside of the house to get some fresh air. As you left your friends and wanted out from the backyard to a part of the beach, you didn’t notice the guy who had been eyeing you the whole evening. 

He came out of nowhere from your back, his arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You yelled at the sudden and unwanted touch, and your heart seemed to drop into your stomach when you realised that it wasn’t just a joke from JJ, who liked to scare you. You started wiggling in his hands to get free, but he was fighting you back, dragging you up when you fell to your knees on the ground. 

It was such a mess trying to scratch and punch him that you almost did not notice his hand coming into contact with your face several times. You screamed again, this time loud enough, until you saw JJ running towards you. The guy behind you pushed you away as soon as he saw someone, and you fell to the ground with a loud huff. 

“That fucking bastard!” JJ was right near you, helping you to get up as tears streamed down your face. He tried to comfort you, checking your body for any injuries, but you pushed his hands away, wrapping your own around yourself in a defensive way.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” You heard Kiara, along with your other friends, calling your name. “What the hell happened?”

“H-he attacked me.” You sniffed, trying to catch your breath and, with shaking hands, reaching to the pocket of your jeans shorts to get out your phone. All of them looked at each other, questioning your actions, until you pressed someone’s contact button and put the phone to your ear. “Can y-you pick me up, p-please?” You sniffed again, now trembling from the adrenaline. 

“Baby? Are you crying? Where are you?” You heard your boyfriend’s concerned voice through the phone, feeling how JJ tensed beside you. 

“I’m on the cut. Near the beach. There’s a party and... Please, Rafe.” 

“I’m coming, angel. Just wait for me, ‘kay?” You heard the sound of the car engine at the other end of the line. Rafe didn’t ask any more questions, and as soon as you mumbled quiet 'mhm’ he ended the call. 

You all heard him before you saw him. The sound of the tires drifting through the sandy street was loud, drawing attention to the expensive car that was unusual to see at this part of the island. 

Rafe didn’t bother to properly park, turn off the engine or even close the door when he saw you sitting on some old chaise lounge, with his sister and Kie trying to talk to you and your other friends arguing nearby. 

The girls stepped away from you as soon as they saw Rafe running towards you with a furious expression on his face and ready to deal with anyone who made you cry. It looked like he didn’t even care about the pogues, with whom he always had to get into arguments; he was fully focused on your shivering form.

“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” He squatted down in front of you, and you started sobbing again. Your hands immediately found their place around his neck, and, before he could even properly look at your face, you pulled him closer to get some sense of comfort from his warmth and smell. Rafe hugged you back, soothingly rubbing your back. His eyes shot towards your friends, who were watching in awe at the interaction. “Which one of you did that?”

“It’s not us, you idiot. Some guy jumped her when she walked outside.” Sarah said, rolling her eyes at her brother. “JJ heard screaming, and when we walked outside, he ran away.” Rafe pulled away, finally taking in your appearance.

Your knees were covered in dried blood mixed with the sand. He gently took your hands to see the palms scratched from you trying to catch yourself before hitting the ground. Rafe’s eyes were burning with fury, showing his side that he rarely revealed in front of you. His hand reached to move your hair from your face, noticing a red, now already turning purplish, bruise covering the side of your cheek.

“Holy shit, sweetheart.” He softly brushed his fingertips along your cheek and you leaned into the touch, closing your eyes. Your bottom lip started quivering and you bit inside your cheek to calm yourself down. “Sh-h im here, okay? You’re safe. Did you see him? What did he look like? Just tell me and I’ll deal with it.” He almost begged, but you only shook your head. JJ suddenly stepped closer, slightly hesitating to actually normally communicate with his longtime enemy,  but he thought that it was the least that he could do for you.

As much as he hated The Kooks King, JJ knew that Rafe was the best option to find the guy who hurt you. 

“Tall, with dark and curly hair. Never seen him before, probably someone new on the island, but I’ll recognize him.” They looked at each other for a moment, and Rafe just simply nodded, turning his attention back to you. 

“I’ll find him, ‘kay? I promise I will.” He gently took both of your hands in his, bringing them to his lips to place a soft kiss on your knuckles. “We should go now. I need to take care of your knees and that bruise, baby. You don’t mind going to Tanneyhill, yeah?”

“Thank you, Rafe.” You whispered, slightly bending forward to ask for a kiss. Rafe smiled at you, his thumbs gently swiped the leftovers of the tears under your eyes, and then he kissed you on your forehead, nose, and gently pecked your lips. 

Your heart flattered at his soft touches and for a second, it felt like you two were in your own little bubble. Rafe's eyes shimmered slightly in the moonlight, and the way he looked at you, soft and caring, made you want to kiss him again and again. You suddenly snapped out of the trance, looking back at your friends, who all had different levels of shock and uncertainty written on their faces. 

“C’mon, pretty girl.” Rafe stood up, lifting you in bridal style without an effort, carefully not to hurt your bleeding knees. He almost walked away, but then sighed, turning back to look at his sister. “You coming home with us or somethin’?”

“Um, no, I’ll be with John B. It seems like I would be third wheeling with you anyway.” She shrugged, not being able to keep a smile when you two met with your eyes. 

Rafe then looked at JJ, thinking his words over. “I appreciate it, Maybank.” 

They exchanged a tight nod, both slightly shocked that for the first time ever, they communicated without biting each other's heads off. You leaned closer to Rafe, comfortably nestling in his protective hands, and looked at your friends, who were still too shocked to say anything. 

“I’ll see you guys later, okay? 

Everyone agreed, saying goodbye to you and asking you to text them when you get there safely. They saw how Rafe made sure to slowly put you into the passenger seat, then circled the car and drove away. An awkward silence fell around them, everyone at a loss for words. 

“Okay, so I am not the only one who saw that, right?” Pope spoke first, looking around the place as if he were trying to find something. “Rafe freaking Cameron just was acting cute and didn’t threaten to do something to us?” His own body physically shrugged at the word ‘cute’.

“I don’t know, dude. We all just probably drank something and it’s messing with our heads.” 

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[euhla]

LIE : sunday x reader

yandere!sunday, manipulation, gaslight, kinda penacony spoilers, obsessive, power imbalance (reader is sunday’s servant), pet names. this is my first attempt for yandere :”

The sound of footsteps getting closer, as well as you feeling like your death is getting closer. Petrified? Beaming? You don't even know what you are feeling right now.

Trapped in a dark and gloomy room, you can't do anything except face the man in front of you— Sunday, The benevolent and self-disciplined head of the Oak Family.

“My dear, why are you running away from me?” The voice that used to command called you. Like a servant who always serves him, you happily accept his call.

“I’m afraid that i don’t understand what you mean, My Lord.” He wasn't satisfied with your answer, but still give you his signature smile.

One of his hand was on your shoulder as if that was where it was supposed to be. “Is this what I get after I put my trust in you?”

The trust of the head of the Oak family feels fake and like there is a hidden meaning. “Did your mouth stop working after helping the IPC escape?” Aventurine.. You wonder how he is now.

“He won't be able to help you.” One of his hand was still on your shoulder, while the other was holding a few strands of your hair. “No one can help you now.”

“It's not that I'm being selfish, Dear. I just don't want your fate to be the same as my beloved sister's.” The look on his face became sad, and for some reason it made you feel devastated. “You know how important she is to me, right? the only family I have.”

Lie, lie, lie, lie.. You tried to repeat the words like a mantra in your mind. It's all lies, no one locks up and restricts their younger sibling's movements because of affection.

“Perhaps, you think i’m lying?” His always correct guesses make you even more convinced that he can read your mind.

Staring in horror, you observed the movement of Sunday's hand now stroking your head. “No, i—“

“—can you imagine how scared I was when I found out the bullet hit her neck?” Stop it— “And now she has to cover it up.”

“Paparazzi and crazy fans who don't know their limits always terrorize my beloved sister. I did it all for a reason.”

Sunday's gloved hands felt cold as soon as he pulled you into his arms. His grip tightened. "I don't want to lose anyone who’s precious to me again.”

“I will forgive you if you continue to stay by my side,” he whispered. You can only be silent and accept his affection.

“After all, you’re my servant. You’re mine.”

[yankpop]

Yandere BTS: You want to become an idol - Hyung Line

DISCLAIMER: This is a FICTION work only made for entertainment purposes that includes yandere/dark. I do not support or encourage any type of abusive behaviour. 

Check more: Masterlist.

Female reader

WARNINGS: Toxic/Unhealthy Relations; Emotional manipulation. 

AN: Hope you guys like it 💖 Let me know!

--

Jin

The table is awfully quiet, only the sounds of the plates and the cutlery being heard as you and Jin eat dinner in complete silence. 

You don’t dare to pronounce a single word, too intimidated by Jin’s cold aura.

He hasn’t even properly looked at you ever since you happily revealed to him that you got casted  in the street by a random lady to become a trainee. 

When he starts eating dessert, that’s when you finally build the courage to talk. 

“Jin, I really want to try this.” your voice is barely above a whisper, but it’s still heard by Jin, who flashes you an icy glance. 

“And I really don’t want you to. That simple.” he shortly says, his attention back to the food.

The uncomfortable knot in your stomach tightens, you’re not used to fighting back Jin. He’s the one who usually makes all the decisions and you obediently follow him, trusting his judgment. 

This time, you’re risking into unknown territory all for  a mere desire to be a trainee. 

“I just want to try it, maybe I could like it, you know?” you tentatively try.

Jin’s hand flexes hard around the fork, before he pushes the plate away.  

“We had a plan, Y/N, didn’t we? I'll work and make the money while you take care of the house.” he sharply reminds you. You open your mouth to say something but Jin notices it and puts his index finger in front of his lips, indicating you to stay silent. 

“We are going to get married. We are going to have kids and you are going to stay home to take care of them. This is what we agreed on, isn’t it? And now you want to change our perfect plans because of a selfish whim of yours.” he says, livid with cold anger as he crosses his arms in his chest.

“If I wanted to be with someone who’s unreliable, then I’d be with another girl. I’m dating you cause I thought I could trust you. Maybe I was wrong.” his eyes send daggers your way and you bite your lip, suddenly feeling guilty for almost ruining your future plans together.

Jin often talked about them with so much love and passion that you couldn’t stop yourself from agreeing with whatever he said. And now you can’t break his dreams because of something that may not work.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you weakly nod.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll back down from it.” 

Words never sounded so good to Jin.  

Suga

You excitedly watch as Yoongi opens the box. You want him to be the first person to find out that you got casted by one of the Big 3 for a 6-month trainee contract. 

But you clearly weren’t expecting his face to turn completely sour, the realization hitting him as his eyes run over the written contract.

He pushes the papers away, giving you a serious look.

“What’s this shit? Are you really considering going through with this? Without even talking to me?” he throws, raising his eyebrows. 

“Hum? W-What do you mean?” you confusedly stutter and then stop, too intimidated by the strict gaze Yoongi gives you.

He stands up and starts pacing around the living room.

“Then you thought completely wrong. Fuck, what did I tell you about making decisions on your own? Stop using your brain and leave the important stuff up to me since you obviously don’t know anything about this.” he furiously snaps, giving you an angry look that makes you shrink back into the couch. 

He grabs back the contract papers and gives them a quick verification. 

“At least you didn’t sign it. You’re not completely dumb, after all.” he sighs. “Where’s your phone?”

You raise your head, confusedly looking at him. Yoongi loses his patience and snaps his fingers in front of your face. 

“Your phone, now!” the small shake he gives you is enough to wake you from your lethargy and you immediately hand him your phone.

He practically snatches it from your hold, dialing the number he finds on the contract papers.

“Hello? This is Yoongi, Y/N’s boyfriend. Yes, about the trainee thing…,” Yoongi pauses, giving you a dirty look, “... actually she’s unable to do so because of some personal incompatibilities. Sorry for wasting your time. Bye.”

He hangs up the call before the other person can even reply. You can’t even utter a single word from how embarrassed you are.

You hold out your hand to receive your phone back but Yoongi ignores you and puts the device in his back pocket.

“Since you pulled so much trouble, you don’t deserve to have your phone back until you start behaving accordingly.” 

J-Hope

Hoseok forces back a witty smile as he tries to console you. It does create a bit of a turmoil in his heart to see you so shaken up, practically traumatized, but it’s all for a good cause.

He puts his hand on top of yours, faking a concerned expression, like a good boyfriend would. 

“And you’re sure you found it in the manager’s bag?” he asks again, like he was trying to understand it. 

You shakily nod, a shiver making your body tremble. 

“I- Yes, I’m sure of it. My lost panties were literally in his bag.” you sniff, shaking your head.

“I just can’t believe my manager would steal my panties! God, Hoseok, I really thought he was a good person, he never acted weird around me or anything so I don’t understand why..” You trail off, too shaken up to continue as Hoseok involves your shoulders with his arm. 

“That’s really awful. Disgusting. And…” he strategically pauses, waiting for you to ask him.

A second later you look at him, taking in his worried expression.

“What is it, Hoseok ?” 

He shrugs off his shoulders, pretending to be confused.

“I just… I mean, who tells you that he’s going to stop there, you know. He’s the manager while you’re just a trainee. Who knows if he doesn’t get bold with his actions and instead of just stealing panties he doesn't… you know.” 

Hoseok is clever enough to not finish the sentence, leaving the implicit meaning of his words hanging in the air.

Needless to say that you quickly drop the idea of pursuing an idol career. 

RM

“Again.” 

Your heart drops at the sound of that word. You’re sick and tired of it. Your muscles are completely sore, the white top you’re wearing drenched in sweat.

The result of practicing the exact same choreography for hours and hours to no end. 

“But I did everything right this time!” you try to argue only to be shut down by your boyfriend, who gives you a stern look.

“No, that’s what you think. I’ve been training and performing for years so trust me when I say this is far from perfect. No one will debut you if you keep up this poor excuse of dancing.”

The words are crude and they hit you in the wrong spot. 

Tears start rising to your eyes and your shoulders slump forward with defeat. 

Namjoon notices the impact of his words, his expression immediately softening as he comes forwards to embrace you. 

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that, you know that. It’s just…. you asked me to help you practice and no matter how demanding you think i’m being right now, the truth is I’m nothing compared to professional choreographers level. They are going to be even more strict.” he tries explaining, offering you a bottle of water.

Drinking a greedy sip of water, you feel your whole body in fire, unable to do anything else. 

It’s too much for you. You can’t do it.

“Namjoon… don’t think I want to do this anymore.” you slowly whisper, your face falling into your hands in defeat. “I can’t be an idol.”

“It’s okay, babe. It’s fine, really. Hey, look at me.” he gently grasps your hands away from your face, and you look at him with a miserably sad expression.

“Everyone has their own calling in life and maybe being an idol isn’t for you. It’s for the best, I’m sure of it.” 

His words do little to console you and he still hugs you, even with your sweaty clothes. 

Hiding his face in the crook of your neck, Namjoon hides a relieved sigh.

He was never gonna allow you to become an idol and now that you rejected an idol career, he was off the hook. 

-> Maknae Line

[worldofkuro]

idk if it sounds selfish but i need more comfort in my life rn, so i wanna ask for help.

if it's not really a big deal, i wanna see some comfort between alastor and reader when they were teens. maybe after he already told her that he wants to marry her, and something made her feel insecure and bad about herself. so she called Marie and ask Alastor to come, so she could lie down in his arms and listen him telling her that he loves her anyway.

or any other plots because I'll be okay with everything if it's fluff. thank you.

Of course dearest, anything for you to feel better. For those who will notice it, their last sentence is from the song “ Follow You” by Bring me the Horizon. I love this song and I thought it was pretty fitting. So here ,my dear, this scenario isn’t very long but I hope it will make you feel better. 

Follow You

You were coming back from school, trying to contain your tears. 

You had told Alice about Alastor’s wedding proposal and she was excited for you but some other girls heard you and made fun of you. How could a man see you desirable enough to be his wife? Most of the time, you didn’t care about their vile words, but you didn’t know why, today it was hurtful. Of course, Alice had taken your side immediately swearing at them like a sailor.

You didn’t greet your parents as you went immediately into your bedroom, hiding yourself under the blankets. You couldn’t even look at yourself in the mirror. Were you even worth being Alastor’s wife? He would always say you were “endearingly stupid”, did it mean he saw you as a stupid girl? Was he manipulating you?

Were you worth being special to someone’s heart?

You jerked your head up as you heard a knock on your window. You wiped your eyes and saw Alastor, his fist against the glass, staring at you. You opened the window quickly, scared he would fall.

“ Alastor, what are you doing here?”

“ I heard my mother talking with yours through the telephone, saying you didn’t feel well, so I came to check on you.” he entered your room, looking at you. You saw his eyes stopped at your tearied one. You tried to look away but he gripped your face, making sure he could watch your expression. “ Who?”

“ What..?”

“ Who made you cry?” he said with a gentle smile but his eyes had a dark glint.

“ No one.. It’s just… Am I worth it , Alastor?”

You gasped as Alastor forced you to lay on your bed, pushing something soft in your arms. Looking down on it you almost cried some more as you saw Eamon staring back at you. You squeezed it against your chest as Alastor laid next to you, observing your face.

“ Dearest, you’re just like a jewel. Being desired by people and those who can't have you are jealous. You are like a fresh breeze in summer, so short and yet so welcomed. You are much more than how you perceive yourself.”

“ But.. I feel like I’m going to be a useless wife…”

“ Hah! You, my dear, a useless wife? You could be doing nothing at home, as long as you are waiting for me, I would feel the happiest. But why would you think that? You have always been to my side, always accepted me. Why would I choose someone else to be next to me for my entire life? How could I look at anyone else now that my eyes have seen you?”

“ Alastor.. Do you love me…?”

He looked perplexed but wrapped his arms around your body, staring at your eyes without blinking.

“ I don’t know what love is about. But if loving you is wanting to devour you all, to protect you, you have your attention on me all the time, then I guess.. that I love you. But please, dearest, remember that even though I adore you, more than anything, my love is tainted with darkness. No matter how much I’m obsessed with you, I’ll drag you down to hell with me. I'm telling you, you're all I need, I promise you, you're all I see. I’ll never leave.” he stared at you, waiting for your answer.

“ I’ll follow you.’ you breathed, staring at his chocolate eyes. “So dig two graves because when you die, I swear I'll be leaving by your side. So you can drag me through hell, I’ll follow you.” you smiled sweetly at him as he beamed at your words, his cheeks flushed. He squeezed you against his body, Eamon between the both of you. 

You would always be together, the both of you. Alastor would always be by your side, like a curse, clawing at you to keep you from leaving, even if you would never think such a thing.

Your love was twisted, tainted in dark obsession but it was perfect for the both of you. Maybe people wouldn’t consider it as love, but you knew deep inside, Alastor would always chase after you if you were to run away. If you were to run away because of your feelings, your fears, everything, the only person who would chase you would be Alastor. And you knew he would never stop.

He would follow you.

[veras1ne]

✮“Delicate.”

I had SO much fun writing this fic!! I’m so sorry it was delayed a little, there were some time constrictions and I’d much rather give you guys a late fic than a rushed and poorly written one. Anyways, Enjoy!! I can’t wait to see yall on the 31st 🦢 🫧

✰Pairing´ˎ˗📀: Anakin Skywalker x AFAB!Bimbo!Reader

✰ ‧₊˚ Summary 🦢: Anakin was out on a mission, leaving you home alone and an opportunity to hit the town. Nightclubs and dancing sounded perfect until he finds his way back home early.

✰ ;➛ WARNINGS🫧: THIS IS AN 18+ SMUT FANFIC. I am NOT responsible for the media you read and consume! Your warnings are the following: Smut, PIV, Fingering, Cum-Stuffing, Anakin being a master manipulator, Slutshaming, Degrading, Use of She/Her, Mentions of Breeding/Pregnancy, squirting, but no explicit mention of it! Try not to blink.

The sound of your dress zipping up and the spritzing of your favorite perfume filled your ears with excitement. Anakin was planned to be away on a trip for several nights, allowing you to sneak away with your closest friends for a night on the town, going to some of the sweetest clubs in your finest clothing. This would be the perfect chance for you to let loose without being kept on a tight leash by him. You could drink, dance, and enjoy yourself to your heart's content.

Tonight, you were finally free to do all that you wanted. You wanted to be selfish and get dirty and nasty with your friends. Of course you were allowed to go out, but statistics forbid you to be able to wear your tightest skirts and tops that were downright inappropriate for you to wear anywhere else. Personally, you had seen nothing wrong with your choice of clothing, especially when you got dressed just right, knowing that the explicit clothing wouldn’t matter in the first place as your lover would be right there in the event of anything happening.

The tightness made your waist look amazing, and the thin fabric hugged your curves perfectly. In Anakin’s mind, your clothes left little to the imagination—so little, in fact, that he believed he should be the only one to see you wearing the fabric you loved so much. He believed that he should be the only one to take advantage of you and ravage your mind, body, and soul.

He believed he should be the only one to see every nook and cranny of your body—the one that was specially made for his hands. To him, you were a toy, something he could take whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted. No matter where he went, whether it was his bed or yours or the bar across town, you would always be available to him.

You were his property that he owned, and you loved it. He loved that he was the only thing you thought about, that every being in your soul belonged to him, and that your whole life was centered around being him. It pleased him endlessly when his presence seemed to be the only thing to bring happiness and contentment into your everyday existence.

You relished in the knowledge that he knew every inch of your body; everything you did was because of him. His touch was what caused you to cry out of pleasure. He held you, kissed you, touched you, pleasured you, and told you how much he loved you. His missions were an opportunity for you to get wild without his knowledge, to let out a primal energy that wasn't regularly seen in you while under his every beck and call.

You had loved to be under Ani’s watchful eyes, but to live somewhat of a secret second life was something that made you feel sexy and powerful. Sure, others saw you as naive and just a pretty face, but you simply loved it. You loved dressing pretty in pink and always sipping on smooth champagne. In Anakin’s words, you were “ditzy.” And he liked it. It felt good to have you wrapped tightly around his finger.

You were just too good for him. He loved having you completely at his mercy, giving him whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it. You were a gift that no man or god could give him. The way you met was almost immediately revealing to your character: him being assigned to nearly babysit you while you traveled with your father throughout the galaxy, accompanying your father as the face of his campaign for his politics.

He became enamored by your innocent beauty and decided he wanted you to be his. You didn’t realize it, but he began to court you, solidifying his belief that you were rather bubble-headed, not that he minded in the slightest way.

He watched you giggle uncontrollably during a joke, hearing him chuckle when you cried out in disgust when you accidentally stepped in a liquid that had taken form on the floor. He had found you absolutely delicious, and his obsession had gotten the best of him. His lust had grown more intense, taking over any sense of logic and reasoning. He would come home after long missions and find you waiting for him, begging for him to touch you, kiss you, and fuck you. Your soft body begged to be touched, but Anakin couldn’t bring himself to give in.

As much as he desired you in the moment, his job had taken priority, and he had to be away from you until now. He hadn’t told you of his return, wishing to surprise you and see your pretty face filled with delight as his boots echoed down the hallway to your door, clacking upon arrival. Although it had only been a few days, to him, it felt like weeks away from your beautiful body, which fit right with his. He had missed you, and he wanted to prove you right.

As you smoothed out your top in the mirror, the jiggling of your front door’s knob caught your attention. Anakin’s voice calling out your name brought a smile to your face, making you rush out into the living room, heels clicking as you ran. The sight that greeted you, however, made your heart leap in your chest.

The man that stood before you was handsome in his Jedi robes. His eyes twinkled with mischief as he smiled down at you, a slight smirk on his lips. Anakin was clearly excited to see you, his arms open, expecting a hug. “Hi Baby! You’re home!” you almost screamed, joyously, running into his muscular arms.

You wrapped your own around his broad back and pulled him closer to you, pressing your nose into his neck and inhaling his smell of fresh soap and pine trees. “I didn’t know you were coming. I missed you so much, baby!” You exclaimed happily, kissing the side of his jawline before pulling away and admiring his strong build.

His face contorted in confusion as he looked at you, seeing you in your pink outfit fixed with your primmed and perfect hair and your finest heels. “What are you wearing, honey? I didn’t think you knew I was coming home.” You smiled at him blankly, not understanding his words. “I was about to go out with some girls from the club downtown; that’s okay, right?" He nodded slowly, trying to comprehend where you got the idea that you could go outside looking like that. “Of course that’s alright,” his voice trailed off as he entered your kitchen. “But I know you aren’t going out dressed like that." You tilted your head, confused. “Like that? What’s wrong with this?” “I should be the only one seeing you dressed like that. Your tits are halfway spilling out of your top; I wouldn’t even be surprised if other men tried to look at you the way only I do," he snapped at you, frustrated that you were trying to question his authority.

You rolled your eyes at his reaction, turning around and beginning to walk to your bedroom. “Oh really? Well, I guess maybe you should change the way you look at me if you hate it so much.” You scoffed as you walked past him, heading to your closet. “Besides, if you hate what I’m wearing so badly, why don’t you come and take it off?" You turned around with a devilish smirk on your face, wanting to see his reaction.

You never expected such a fierce and passionate response. A growl escaped his throat as he stomped towards you, slamming you up against the wall and pinning you there with ease. He pushed you against the wall roughly, ravanging your neck and placing wet, open kisses on your exposed skin. He nibbled on your collarbone, sucking lightly, causing you to moan and shiver. “I could rip your clothes right off," his low voice whispered into your ear, his lips close enough to yours for you to feel his hot breath. “Of course you’d love that, wouldn’t you?" He chuckled darkly as he released his grip on your shoulders and placed his forehead on yours.

The sight of Anakin’s eyes staring straight into yours made you forget all about the situation, instead focusing on the sensation of his hot breath fanning across your skin, his hand coming up to your face, and forcing eye contact between the two of you. “I've waited too long for you, Ani. My fingers couldn’t fuck me like you can. I need you so bad.” Your breathing was labored and unstable, with his hands harshly grabbing your wrists as he pinned you to your shared bed, which had grown so cold on his side.

He leaned down and kissed you passionately, his tongue brushing against your lip before slipping inside, exploring the depths of your mouth. His hands made short work of your miniskirt, and completely demolishing your beautiful designer top.

You were completely lost in him as he devoured you, his fingers tugging your hair slightly as he continued to press you against the bed, your hips bucking and rubbing against the fabric of his pants, the thin cotton of your pants creating friction on your clit that you so elegantly craved.

You moaned loudly into his mouth, his hands still holding your wrists above your head as his mouth roamed over your body, leaving a trail of hickeys all over your neck, chest, and stomach.

His right hand came down to your pussy, pushing your pants to the side as he reveled in your wet genitalia, your pre-cum acting as a lube for his thick and dry fingers, pushing their way into your hole, scissoring them against your walls, and loosening your tight muscles that pulsed against his flesh. You groaned louder than ever as his skilled fingers moved in and out of your slick and swollen entrance, his mouth moving to your breast, nibbling and licking.

A few minutes later, your eyes were closed, and tears streamed down your cheeks as pleasure rocked through you relentlessly.

A low grunt fell from your lips as Anakin removed his fingers from your pussy, placing a kiss on your clit as he replaced his fingers with his erect cock that prodded your tight hole. “I need you inside me, Ani. My pussy has been so empty; missed you so much.” Your encouragement was the final push for him, with his head pushing into your tiny slit.

He was careful at first, making sure to enter slowly and deeply, feeling how good it felt to finally be inside you, a scream ripping itself from your throat, your nails scratching at the sheets beneath your body as you writhed and trembled underneath him. “You’re so tight, my dove. I can’t get enough of you. So beautiful.” He spoke softly, his voice strained with effort, and his eyes focused solely on your swollen opening as he thrust in and out of your body, your back arching against the mattress as he took your sweet pussy apart, splitting you on his dick.

His cock rubbed against your sensitive walls, hitting every part of your insides as he fucked you hard and fast. “I should’ve known you were so desperate for me the moment I came through the door. I could practically smell your desperation like a dog; guess I’m fucking you like a bitch though, aren’t I?” You whined as you gripped tightly to the sheets beneath you. His movements became faster and harder, hitting your most sensitive spot, his hands leaving your body and taking refuge tangled in your hair, pulling it as you let out a pleasured screech.

Your entire body shook violently with each stroke of his cock, gripping the sheet beneath you. His voice deepened as he increased the tempo of his thrusts. “Such a slut, you know that? Your pussy is so deep, she’s swallowing me whole. I missed her so bad and the way she clenched around my fat cock," he roared out, his orgasm rising as you came undone, your juices spurting as you gushed around him, clawing at his back and seemingly drawing blood. "Anakin," you sobbed as he pumped his cock faster, his hips stuttering as he came hard, his seed flooding deep inside you.

With an animalistic growl, he collapsed on top of you. His heavy breathing and harsh heartbeat filled your ears, his large body covering your smaller frame. “Once a slut, always a slut, but at least you’re mine," he muttered hoarsely, nuzzling into the crook of your neck, breathing deeply in your scent, a smile stretching across his face as he placed a wet kiss on your jawline, thrusting into you one last time, pushing his cum deep inside of you.

“Maybe I should get you pregnant, breed you like a little bitch, and let everybody know that this pussy belongs to me."

[justkending]

Mr. & Mrs. Hunt (Chapter 4/7)

Mini-Series Summary: Two of the most stubborn people in the group partnered together for an undercover mission are also the two people with the most hatred for each other, so what could go wrong? Or is it, what COULDN’T go wrong?…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger Reader

Word Count: 3900+

A/N Note: Only a few more chapters to go (I think, but we're both lost on how long this series will be.) Thank you guys for reading and as always, thank you for the love and support!

____________

Chapter 4:

Y/N's POV

It wasn’t him. It was 100% me. I did this to myself. I built a wall so quickly around him because I didn’t want to like the man behind my misery. 

My teammates knew enough about my backstory to think they had an idea of my reason for joining SHIELD: helping the little guy because, at one point, you were the little guy—the manipulated guy—the one who no one saved, so you had to save yourself—and now anyone else who can���t do it for themselves. 

Yet, there were so many other things I kept for myself, and things files couldn’t tell you. No files existed of them, and I’m glad because I didn’t want the pity. 

James Buchanan Barnes was the reason behind my abuse. Not personally, but my abuser was obsessed with his accomplishments under the German and Russian terrorist organizations and wanted to make a female, more skilled, discrete, and sleeker version of the Winter Soldier. 

Who fucking didn’t, right? God, every goddamn evil bastard on this godforsaken shit show of a planet wants to remake something that was a once in a lifetime kind of thing and crack more than a few eggs to get to that point. Selfish asshole…

Being constantly compared to him and then beaten for not hitting the unreachable mark of the man I was ‘of no comparison to’ after years of trying to hit that standard, and then being asked to be on a team with him? A lot of emotions hit me like a train when I got that news. 

Will I amount to being the trained spy and agent I am for Shield with him by my side? Will he make me look like a completely pointless addition to the team? After five years of already working with the Avengers and then learning who the Winter Solider was? Steve’s best friend and probably the only person he could relate to in their journey? All the way to having to work with him… The change-up was instantaneous, where I would have begged for baby steps. 

Then again, when has the world made it easy for me?

So yes. I was an ass and kept him further than arm's length away to stay safe from learning that he was a good guy when I wasn’t ready to like him yet. I had a lot of trauma I never thought I’d have to work through with the infamous man himself, and that irritation and annoyance just continued when he finally matched my energy, and we never strayed from that relationship until… now.

And here he was, genuinely asking what HE did wrong when I was the reason for our enemies’ plot line. 

“Bucky, I don’t think I can talk about this right now,” I breathed out slowly, feeling the tears prick in my eyes.

It had been a minute since I cried and felt this vulnerable, and I couldn’t seem to stop it. I think subconsciously, I didn’t want to stop it, but my mind was begging my body to hold out until he was out of the room. 

“Y/N, if I did something to you, I didn’t realize-” 

“You wouldn’t have known,” I whisper, not trusting my voice to stay steady, but also not wanting to put anymore of the blame on him from here on out. 

He wasn’t a bad guy.

He had proved himself time and time again to be a really good guy. Even when he broke and decided he hated me back, he still had his moments when he put it aside and showed chivalry. I admired him for it even when I ignored the admiration. 

Makes it hard to fully hate a guy who made sure ladies weren’t opening any doors for themselves. Or a man who remembered Morgan’s birthday and bought her an ice cream cake before stealing Steve’s shield to sled down a hill her dad told her not to. Or a man you treat like absolute shit 99% of the time, and he still checks on you when you have nightmares, and he grabs water and an ice pack and helps you even out your breathing before waiting for you to go back to sleep. 

I didn’t ask him for the help, and he never mentioned the handful of times he fell into the routine of soothing me back to sleep. Never brought it up, never made me feel like I owed him, and never hinted at remembering such kindness. 

But now?

“You wouldn’t have known why it started this way to begin with. And you likely won’t,” I sigh, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth before turning around; a lot more put together, even if it was just a mask I had learned to put on most of my life. 

“I don’t understand,” Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at my disposition. 

“I don’t expect you to, but maybe we should go to sleep and talk about it later. It’s getting late, and you have to go to your ‘job’ tomorrow,” I say with hand quotes. “We have to keep the ruse going.” 

“A few hours of sleep doesn’t affect me,” Bucky shook his head, and I could see him itching to put his hands back on me, but he held back. “Please. I need to know what the hell I did.” 

“Again, Bucky,” I say sternly this time, all emotion I’m struggling to keep at bay shoved down. “You are not at fault, and tomorrow I’ll talk to you, but for now, I need to sleep on it.”

He read my face for lies, and I kept it neutral. I wasn’t going to break here. Now was not the time. I needed space to think about how I was going to approach this after so long of avoiding it and being put on the spot wasn’t going to work for me. 

“Ok,” he said, softer than I think I ever heard him talk. His eyes were soft and sensitive, and I didn’t know how I felt about it…

He turned and walked out of my room, gently shutting the door behind him and turning off the overhead light he had originally flashed on. 

I didn’t instantly head straight to bed. I stared at the doorway in the dark, seeing the faint silhouette of the barrier between us. He was still on the other side, and I could hear his heart rate higher than normal.

This was affecting him more than I thought it would. Why was he so worried about what I thought of him? He didn’t seem bothered by my disinterest in the past. Or at least I didn’t figure he did. 

____________________

When I woke up, Bucky was already gone. His truck, normally in the driveway, was missing, and I knew he had taken off for our mission report. 

Thankful, I took the time to make my coffee, sit on the front porch, and watch the neighborhood take on its morning routine. 

People were on runs with their family dogs, moms were doing their morning walks with strollers, some neighbors were out already tending to their gardens, and everything suburban seemed to be on track. 

Towards the end of my cup, I notice Ms. Bauer coming back from her jog she must have taken earlier than the others. 

“Oh, hello, neighbor!” she shouted when she spotted me, uniformly checking our house like her head was on a swivel if she heard a pen drop in it. 

Still in her jog, she sashayed over to my lawn, and I mumbled, “Here we go,” smiling at her as she followed the sidewalk to our steps. 

“How are you doing today, Bethanne?” I grin standing from my patio chair and going down the steps to meet her at the bottom of the flight. “Is there a run club I didn’t know about? You’re the 10th person I’ve seen getting a head start on their steps for the day.” 

She laughed and waved a hand at me before taking an earbud out, pausing her music on her watch, and placing her hands on her hips as she looked up at me. 

“There is actually a mommy and me walking club on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Depending on the weather, of course, but who knows,” she grinned up at me. “Maybe you can be joining it sooner than you thought.”

“Maybe not as soon as you think,” I laughed, holding my mug tighter with both hands so I wouldn’t strangle her instead and leaning on the banister. “We wanted at least a year in the house by ourselves before we add another set of feet to the chaos,” I scrunch my nose and add, “but I’m excited for the day Beau and I have a mini-version of us running around here.” 

“Speaking of Beau,” she grins, looking to the driveway. “Where is he today? He’s usually home with you most of the time, right?”

“Oh, it was time for him to get back to work. He took off for a few weeks to get moved in and spend time with me before we had to get back to the real world,” I answer as planned. 

“That’s right. I think I remember you guys talking about that at the first block party,” she nodded, watching me carefully for slip-ups. “Can you believe it’s only been two weeks of you guys here? I feel like you two have been a part of the community for at least a year.” 

“You’re sweet,” I gush convincingly and look out to the neighborhood for effect. “You guys have really taken us in as your family, and you don’t know how much I appreciate it. We appreciate it,” I correct and look off in the distance like I’m thinking of my sweet, doting husband when, in reality, I was thinking of the day this mission was over and I could carry on with my normal life. “I don’t think I’ve mentioned this. Beau isn’t one to really talk about it, but his family life wasn’t the best. They’ve practically been strangers since he turned 18.” 

“Oh, is that so?” she inched up, feeding on the new (fake) information. 

I nod. “When we started dating, my family took him in as his own- well, I only had my dad around for most of my life, but they got along really well. He passed three years ago,” I give a tight-lipped look as I look down at my feet in sadness. “They developed a bond, which wasn’t hard considering who my dad was. He was the best, though we might be biased in thinking that. Taught Beau how to do a lot of things dads are supposed to teach their sons. Well,” I sniffle for added effect. “Anyway, we’re kinda on our own now. No extended family we’re close with, and with my dad’s passing, it’s really just us. So when I say we’re grateful for y’all’s hospitality, I mean it.”

She seemed to buy it, as much as an undercover convict could, and smiled kindly up at me before placing a hand on my arm. 

“Of course, sweetheart. We’re just lucky you two are some of the good ones. You’d be surprised who’s come in and hasn’t made the cut. Lawns in disarray, unfriendly attitudes, and you know the list,” she winks and rolls her shoulders back before stretching in her spot. “Speaking of being lovely neighbors, how would you and Beau feel about a dinner at our house? Reggie and I have been talking about having you over for quite some time now, and I think we can finally host.” Before I could ask, she stopped me and explained. “Kitchen renovation. It was and still is a pain in my ass, but it should be doable for a small dinner.”

“That sounds lovely,” I beam as much as I could act. It was the perfect next step, and the bait had been taken, but a part of me wanted to settle things with Bucky in our personal dispute before we put on our masks for the two main perpetrators. “Let me check with him and see what his schedule will look like now. He’s getting some new orders today, and some things are changing in the company. We’ll know more tonight. But we will for sure make it work.” 

___________

After Bethanne told me some useless neighborhood gossip, she excused herself, and I went back inside to get ready for the day and consider how I would approach Bucky on our issue. 

I knew it was time to be truthful, even if I dreaded it. Bucky had proven time and time again that he wasn’t the enemy, and I needed to deal with my issues. I was tired of wasting energy on hatred and anger, and these last two weeks proved that Bucky wasn’t the one who should have been receiving the blunt force end of my trauma. 

I had until four in the evening to come up with an idea of how I wanted to go about it, but I had stress cleaned instead and couldn’t come up with a non-terrifying way to approach this life-changing conversation.

Finally, I found it best we get dinner in the town over (as not to have any peaking eyes or eavesdropping ears as we dive into my life story I hadn’t indulged to near anyone before), and I would talk to Bucky there. However, plans changed when Bucky came home. 

From my spot in the kitchen, I heard him shout in his domesticated voice across the street, “No, that sounds perfect! We’d love to!” The door opened just as he finished his sentence, and his voice became clearer. 

I moved around the island and slowly walked toward the door to get a view of who he was talking to, and I noticed Bethanne at her mailbox waving to Bucky. 

I furrowed my eyebrows at the obvious commitment he put us in, and after he waved back, he shut the door behind him, looking at me, and dropped the act quickly. 

“What did you just agree to?” I asked, nodding my head behind him. 

He looked me up and down, and I almost forgot I had picked a new, semi-fancier sundress for our “surprise anniversary dinner” (at least the front I was trying to put on for getting out of town without too much suspicion).

(Make whatever color you please or change it in your mind if you want! I'm choosing to pick it as a darker red.)

“You look nice,” he says as his eyes trail back up to my own, and I swear I see him take a gulp. 

“What did you agree to?” I asked again, focused more on what he had decided for us regarding Bethanne. 

His previous shocked face faded away, and he rolled his eyes slightly before throwing his work bag to the side.

“Bethanne invited us to dinner. I said yes because we need to build a relationship with them,” he replied stoically, as if my question was dumb and pointless. 

I just stared at him and let my “personal vendetta” look rest on my face. He studied me and had the decency to shrink ever so slightly. 

“What?”

“What happened to discussing things first?” I said in an eerily calm voice. 

“I didn’t think accepting dinner at a home we’ve been trying to get inside of for the last two weeks is something we’d have to discuss.” And now he straightens up, throwing his empty arms to the side. 

A few seconds later, I yelled, “You dipshit!” in a muffled grunt, keeping my voice down as much as I could handle and balling my fists in anger. 

His eyebrows shoot up and he huffs with his chest puffed out as he marches to me. I see the intent in his eyes, and I start walking away towards the opposite room closest, needing a minute not to lose my shit, and if I have to look into his stupid azure eyes like he wants to read everything passing through my mind, I’ll break.

“Don’t walk away from me,” he growls, and I shoot him a look over my shoulder as I shift my pace and head down the hallway to the bedrooms. “Y/N, stop being a stubborn ass and-”

“Unless you want a heel thrown at your head, and you’re welcome for being civil about this, I suggest you leave me alone,” I shout behind me, turn sharply to the left, and go to my room. 

“I don’t even know what THIS is! You looked at me like you wanted to kill me when I walked in, and I haven’t even talked to you today besides updates about work,” he said just as I slammed the door in his face. “Oh, real mature. Shut the door like an adolescent. Wait, I forgot. You are one…” He mumbles the last part and I hear him lean on the door.

Instantly, I whip the door open, and he doesn’t have time to predict his next move. He falls flat on his back on the wood floors of my room, only padded by a thin oriental rug I made Tony buy me. 

He’s winded from the fall and clutches his chest as I bend down next to him and say, “I said. Leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone.” I stare at him for a second, solidifying my threat. I stand to walk out and only give him a glance as I pass the doorway. 

_____________

Bucky’s POV:

I left her the fuck alone. 

I may have been royally pissed (that is a blatant ass understatement), but something about the look in Y/N’s eyes told me not to push unless I wanted to wake up with my head no longer attached to my body. 

I was too scared to leave her room in fear I’d run into her when she wasn’t ready and risk taking the chances of the guillotine earlier, so I sat on her bed and tried to rack my brain to where I slipped up to cause whatever the hell I walked in to…

I knew almost instantly and realized what a stupid, simple mistake it was. Bethanne asking me to dinner set her off, I knew. But her comment about talking with each other before making decisions told me my mistake. 

Something happened I didn’t know of, and I may have just fucked whatever it was up. As for what it is? No goddamn clue. But using context clues and just basic reading of the body language, Y/N had already made a plan, and I threw it out the window, likely.

I heard footsteps before I could think further, and Y/N appeared in the doorway, taking a deep breath. She would have convinced me she was going to be civil if it wasn’t for her history, but I was excited to see which lane she chose. 

“One thing before I bite my tongue,” she says in almost a whisper, like she’s trying to keep her frustrations at bay. “You make me want to shave my head like Britney Spears in 2007 75% of the time. This moment was almost a tipping point for that kind of outcome..” She lets out a long breath like she passed the test of keeping it together. 

Surprisingly a lot more tame than I was expecting. 

“Glad you got that out of your system. Now, please tell me what the hell happened?” I asked, keeping my guard up in case she resorted to her typical insults and fury. 

“Oh, now you want to communicate,” she mocks and walks to the bed, harshly sitting next to me but leaving a copious amount of space between us. 

I let it slide because I know she’s fighting bigger demons, like the urge to insult me, until I personally dig my own grave and say goodbye to my cruel reality. 

“Bethanne was goading us,” she answers, thankfully getting right to the point. “Something about her proposition seemed off, and I wanted to clear some things up with you before we jumped on the offer.”

I nodded my head, seeing that my instantaneous reply wasn’t thought out. That was on me, yes, but she also reacted extremely dramatically, expressing an odd feeling about the interaction instead of hard proof. 

“What did she ask, and what was off about it?” I question, trying to stay mission based because something seemed off still.

“It wasn’t what it was but how she was asking. Something in her tone and the way she was looking at our house and me. Like she was trying to take in detail after detail up close. Checking for cracks in the foundation,” she answers and turns to me just slightly. “She also said her kitchen was under renovation, and something felt off about it.” 

“The vibes about our neighbor getting a kitchen renovation made you knock the wind out of me when you opened your door?” I said before I could think, but I didn’t budge, my furrowed eyebrows aimed at her. 

She matches my glare and turns her body fully to me. 

“It seemed like an excuse,” she answers slowly. 

“To what? Host a dinner? That’s kind of the opposite effect. Who would want to host a dinner when you have kitchen renovations? It means they trust us if they’re willing to let us see a house that’s not perfect like the front they put on.” 

‘That’s what you get from it, but I think they just planted a little seed of their own.” 

“What do you even mean?”

“Kitchen Reno? That’s an excuse to say, ‘Oh, Charlotte, I can’t cook the chicken pot pie I was going to make for you two because our new oven hasn’t been delivered and installed yet. You know? Because we have the kitchen under renovation? I completely forgot,’” She acted in a convincing Bethanne impersonation and then quickly turned back to serious. 

“You got that from a kitchen reno comment?” I deadpanned after a minute. 

“I got that from understanding women masterminds who know how to manipulate a situation. I am that woman, so I think I can read them pretty well,” she says confidently back. 

Touché.

“And what if you’re wrong?” Her bitchface grew at my question. 

“First off, I’m not. Second off, even if I was wrong, we are supposed to consult each other about accepting invitations into the house of our suspect enemies,” she ran a hand through her hair, which I notice now looks styled differently. Did she curl it or have it blown out? And yes, I know what a blowout is. I have women friends and coworkers.

Yeah… I was in the wrong here, and that’s on me. I wasn’t thinking. I also had a long day snooping around for more information about this whole operation, but it isn’t necessarily an excuse… It’s not like  I haven’t worked on a case like this in the past. I mean, minus being fictitiously married to a coworker. 

“I’m sorry,” I say, and she gives me a weird look. “What?”

“I wasn’t expecting an apology,” she says, standing slowly and straightening her dress. 

“I know when to accept I made a mistake,” I shrug and stand as well. 

She studies my face like there's a retort that’s going to follow, but I just stare at her silently, communicating that I’m set on my apology. 

“Ok…” she drags out, watching me as she steps toward the door. “Well, I guess we need to get ready for tonight. Considering we have dinner. With our neighbors. And we need to set up bugs if possible.”

“Guess so,” I nod, crossing my arms. 

She stops suddenly and looks at me with a look of realization. “You’re in my room.” She steps to the side, leaving room for me to leave, and avoids eye contact. 

She’s still acting weird, but I need to change and get my head in the game for tonight, so I walk out with a subtle head nod as I leave.

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @death-unbecomes-you @mythos-writes​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​  @srrymydood​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @xa-dia​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @redhairedfeistynerd​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @morganclaire4​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @connie326​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @captain-asguard​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @mollygetssherlockcoffee​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @livstilinski @basicallylool​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @starryeyeseunbyul​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

My Lovelies Forever:

@natura1phenomenon​ @lauravicente​ @kakakatey​ @traceyaudette​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​ @sandlee44​ @thorne93​ @thefaithfulwriter1​ @essie1876​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @capsiclehan​  @xostephanie​ @averyrogers83​ @awesomenursingstudent​ @gh0stgurl​ @cs-please​ @jjlevin​ @rainbowkisses31​ @deannotmoose​ @their-bibliophile​ @kitkatd7​ @willowbleedsonpaper​ @mariaenchanted​ @snffbeebee​ @couldabeenamermaid​ @rebekahdawkins​​ @alyispunk​​ @billyseye @hallecarey1​​

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker​ @charmedbysarge​ @jbarness​ @bellamy-barnes​ @katiaw2​ @aikeia​ @stopjustlovethemcu​ @enchantedbarnes

Mr. & Mrs. Hunt Series:

@jackiehollanderr @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @theroyalmanatee @wintrsoldrluvr @alexakeyloveloki @learisa @bxckybxrnes24 @lillianacristina @selella @heletsmelovehim

[enderisin]

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

LONG RANT ABOUT EPIC!CALYPSO AHEAD

Calypso is extremely fascinating to me, because although she’s one of the characters I sympathize the most with and I strongly enjoy reading about her, if she were a real person I’m afraid she would likely end up with a one-way ticket to hell.

Now, most people in the fandom agree that she’s far from a good person. However, I do not believe she is evil incarnate, nor is she an innocent victim of her circumstances.

Now, Calypso has known one thing all her life:

She is alone.

Let me make this clear.

She is completely alone. For hundreds of years, she’s never had a conversation. Never had someone to help her. Never laughed with somebody. Never had someone smile at her. She’s never even made eye contact with anyone.

So, when someone washes up on her shore, she’s ecstatic.

This changes everything.

It’s every single one of her dreams wrapped up into one person.

After what is most likely days of fantasizing about her future life and caring for the unconscious man, he wakes up.

And says he’s married and threatens her life.

Of course, she could let him go.

But this is also her only chance.

She has no idea if she’ll ever see another person again.

Let that sink in.

She’s a goddess.

She’s immortal.

She could be alone for the rest of eternity until time itself ends.

Of course she's desperate for him to stay.

Now, is any of that an excuse for what she did? Of course not.

But in letting him go, she would be sacrificing her happiness for all of eternity.

I’ll leave it up to the reader to decide what you personally would choose in that situation.

Now, fast forward seven years. In epic specifically, we have no idea how she treated him.

She could have kept him in a cage, or she could have given him everything he’s ever wanted and we would have no idea.

However, we do know two very important things that we learn from Love in paradise.

1. Odysseus is not happy and actively begs to go home.

2. Calypso is doing everything in her power to keep him there.

Even in the ending part of love in paradise where Odysseus is on the cliff (which I personally believe is when we truly see things from Odysseus’s perspective, but that’s a discussion for another time), Calypso is calmly trying to get him to stay.

And how does she do that?

By literally and figuratively taking the place of everyone he’s ever loved in his life.

Now, this is a horrific thing to try and do. Hopefully I don’t need to explain why knowingly isolating someone and using their trauma as a tool to get them to love you is not a good thing.

But I personally believe Calypso thought she was doing the right thing.

Why? Because from her perspective, she loves him. She is his support system.

In other words, she and her love is the paradise he needs to come back to.

And if she has to play dirty to get him to come back, so be it.

in Not sorry for loving you, many are confused on whether or not calypso is genuinely apologizing or simply manipulating him.

I believe it’s both.

She likely feels some level of guilt for what she put odysseus through. She knows that she is selfish. But from her perspective, she had no other choice if she wanted to keep her sanity intact.

And maybe some part of her doesn’t want to face the consequences of her actions no matter how fair she knows they are.

So in the same breath as her apology, she throws out a last ditch effort to guilt him into staying.

She tells her tale. She pours her heart out. She gives him everything she has.

But it’s not enough.

In the same song, Odysseus says he loves her, “But not in the way [she] wants him too.”

This interests me greatly. After all, just one song ago he was clearly unhappy being with her. Is he lying? Did Calypso somehow get him to love her in just one song? Is he being manipulated?

I personally believe he’s telling the truth.

He does love her.

But instead of taking the obvious interpretation of the line that he only loves her platonically, I believe this means he loves her because she is all he has.

He’s lonely, and he hasn’t seen his wife in nearly 20 years. If he completely avoided calypso, he would be just like she was before he came.

Alone.

So if Odysseus began to feel something besides hatred when he looked at his captor, is he really to blame?

Does prometheus occasionally to look forward to the eagle’s visits, for it means that for a brief moment he is not abandoned?

I guess you could call it Stockholm syndrome, what I’m describing.

But Odysseus did not have such words to describe the way he felt.

He only knew that as Calypso’s tears mixed with the ocean he was about to sail on, he forced aside the part of him that wished to dry them.

[vrisrezis]

Yuta better than me if geto grabbed my hands like that I would fold so quick

Anyways more Yan! Geto x reader I’m very deranged

Normal Yan stuff but there’s a lot of like worship and treating reader like a god ,, slight nsfw geto is very subby in this! this gets into getou cult territory and again treating reader like his god but this is still a weird college au

Yan! Geto who starts becoming more and more obsessive as the years go by

Yan! Geto who gets more and more jealous, don’t be surprised when more people around you end up dying!

And while on the topic, if you manage to piss him off you’ll find their corpses in your house yourself!

Thankfully, he is very forgiving and it’s very hard to make him upset!

Yan! Geto who only truly gets pissed off at you if you are deliberately ignoring him, and no, it’s not in his head. He knows you’re ignoring him. He will make you regret doing that.

Yan! Geto who, despite how jealous he gets, would never kill any of your friends or any family because he understands how important those things are. He will make sure you know how he feels though.

Yan! Geto who would slaughter so many people if it meant you’d no longer suffer or be sad

Yan! Geto who regrets forcing you to see those rotting corpses when he was mad at you, because he’s worked long and hard to keep you away from that side of him, because it made you scared and upset and he doesn’t want to be the cause of your fear.

And so he never does it again, even when he gets angry!

Yan! Geto who does everything for you because he wants to make a good impact on your life, he needs to mean something. Even if it’s nothing much, it’s okay.

Yan! Geto who’s easy to use. He’s very susceptible to being manipulated, just say the word, you don’t even have to be nice about it! He is merely your servant, you are simply his god.

Yan! Geto who tries to make you laugh a lot, typically it works cause he’s funny but it never fails to make him blush.

Yan! Geto who has to stop himself from drooling at you in class.

Yan! Geto who has to stop himself from palming his clothed cock in gym class, watching you play football with satoru, nanami, and a bunch of other kids.

Yan! Geto who cannot play sports with you cause he ends up doing terribly whenever you’re playing, his knees buckle everytime.

Yan! Geto who worships the ground you walk on and worships the very air you breathe

Yan! Geto who is so intensely in love he calls you his god.

And as such he needs to serve his god in anyway he can

Yan! Geto who believes you are god but are far too humble about it, so he constantly does things to make you realize you have all the power in the world at your fingertips, even if you don’t realize it

Yan! Geto who’s heart practically explodes when you tell him to start finding other friends, you don’t want him to be lonely! You must really love him! But don’t fret darling, for you are the only one that cures loneliness and he could never get sick of you!

But once you become set on it, he manages to find a whole group of friends! Friends he’s gained the respect of, friends he has power over. He wouldn’t even say they’re friends, more like family. He of course, wants you a part of that, so he hands the power where it belongs, to you, a god. His god.

Yan! Geto hopes you’re grateful for the new family! He understands none of them are good enough for your graces, but he hopes you’ll give even them a chance. He spent so much time with them after all, and they’re lovely people! He knows that doesn’t mean much, coming from him. He’s far from lovely and so are these people when in comparison to you.

Yan! Geto will never let you go, for as selfish and as undeserving he is, he cannot let you leave his life. He understands it’s not fair to you, but selfishly he doesn’t care enough. He berates himself for it constantly, and doesn’t blame you when you do the same (he in fact gets off to it so please be mean to him)

Yan! Geto who becomes to convinced you’re a deity, he offers anything to you. While these can be things like food, candy, clothes, adorable stuffed animals and fun video games and even expensive pc’s, he eventually no longer feels guilt about mangled corpses showing up at your door, because he is convinced you want some sort of sacrifice, an offering for him not being good enough for you. He hopes this will suffice, please keep him around a little longer!

Yan! Geto will listen if you tell him to stop though, your wish is his command, after all. He exists to merely serve you.

Yan! Geto who worships you because of who you are. You’ve given him everything, you’ve given him life itself. He didn’t know what living felt like before he met you.

Yan! Geto who worships you for everything you’ve done for him. Every small kind gesture, even as simple as giving him a polite smile or holding open the door, sets his heart ablaze and has his body on fire. He yearns for you, and yet, he’s so aware that he’s not enough. No one is, quite frankly. But still… he’s the closest thing to being good enough, right?

Yan! Geto who could actually cum if you compliment him.

Yan! Geto who knows he should ask before being so clingy with you but he simply cannot help himself. You guys are a couple right? Even if you are so much more than him, you wouldn’t mind him suddenly grabbing your hand, would you?

Yan! Geto who thinks of you fucking him in the shower. He hears shower sex isn’t as pleasant as the movies make it seem, but he knows you could make anything pure bliss.

Yan! Geto is nothing but a toy to be used at your disposal, but he understands if you don’t want others to know what you do to him. After all, you must be so embarrassed of him. He’s done so many things considered to be down horrifically bad.

Yan! Geto who sees how much these lowly beings make you miserable. So he ends them. Not just them. He becomes convinced most people in the world only exist as not only a inconvenience but also to make you suffer, so he deals with them accordingly.

Yan! Geto who cannot stand the sight of people thinking they have the right to talk to you. They are nothing but the dirt beneath your shoe.

Yan! Geto who tells you everything he’s ever done has been for you. And he isn’t lying!

Yan! Geto is willing to strip himself of his humanity, his dignity, all for you to love him. But even then, while he hopes for you to, he doesn’t ask for it. He knows it’s wishful thinking. He wants your approval. Your smile, your laugh. He wants you to be pleased with him. He wants your heart, your mind and your body. He wants you to bare your entire soul to him, he wants you to be completely unburdened. He will do anything to achieve that.

[roachspeaks]

QUEEN .....!!! ; Seeing that your request was open, I came here immediately, can I request Michael, Fredy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Bo, Vincent, charles lee ray and Lester. With s/o who have high sex, and are always spoiled by s/O 🥺will always do anything and obey their wishes so then s/o can have sex.

You can think I'm a pervert, you can also ignore my strange request. I really like your story everything is so perfect. Don't forget to take care of your health ❤ and drink lots of water so you don't get dehydrated. Have a good day

Omg I just saw this!! I almost missed it 😭😭😭. But omg ofc. Sorry this took so long(I’m not even sure how long it took tbh) as a bonus for me almost missing your request I included some kinks and aftercare hc’s. <3

Slashers with a s/o with a high sex drive

Warnings: nsfw(obvi), descriptions of sex, some ooc(I think😅), gender neutral terms,

Michael Myers(any)

At first he doesn’t understand the appeal of sex. He spent his entire teenage years in a mental institution. Didn’t have much time to explore his own body or desires. But after much begging(and him coming to the conclusion it means a lot to you) he decides to try it. What could go wrong right? Remember how I said he didn’t get to go trough his basic teenage hormone faze? You’ve made him hyper sexual. Of course he’s gonna be selfish with it, and you will get little to no control. But he’s come to the realization he likes sex. You better bet he’s rough with it too. He’s definitely a pain/masochism kinda guy. You offer to integrate blood or knives in the mix?(even if its fake) He’s into it. Again with the roughness, choking, degrading(this man doesn’t even need words to be degrading). He’s defo the type to fuck you until you cry. Aftercare isn’t really his strong suit. If you pass out or can’t walk to the bathroom yourself he’ll clean you up(he ain’t a condom man, ain’t got no patience). Of course if you comment on it he’ll deny it.

Freddy Krueger

My personal feeling about this man are mixed. He’s definitely a torture kinda guy. Like either denying your orgasm over and over. Edging you until you can’t think. Or making you cum over and over until the same result. His sex drive is also exponentially high so your made for each other. His whole dream power has definitely been used to make you have wet dreams. Even to just manipulate you Into wanting sex. A bondage guy. I can see it. He’d enjoy the thrill of you not being able to do anything as he tortures you. Aftercare isn’t great with him either. He’ll wipe you down and let you cuddle him(because any physical contact is physical contact enough for him).

Bo Sinclair

It has been established that Bo is no amateur. He’s a sex guy. When he discovers your high sex drive he’s thrilled. Counters, bedrooms, showers, public bathrooms, nowhere is safe. He’s into just about everything you can think of but some that stick out, oral(receiving mostly), roughness in general, you being loud, PRAISE. He will never admit it, to his dying breath. But this man lives for your praise and your sounds. It lets him know that he’s making you feel good. He may act like a self centred asshole(and sometimes he is) but he’s also always looking out for your pleasure. After care with him is surprisingly adequate. He knows he can be rough. And after sex he’ll run you a hot bath and join you(if you’d prefer that of course). He’ll let you sleep on top of him and the next day he’ll make you food.

Vincent Sinclair

He’s the KING of giving oral. Loves making you feel good more than anything. Also a massive vouyer(enjoys watching you touch yourself). He has tunnels in the walls for a reason. And my man can multitask. You can be horny, whining and begging for him to ruin you, and he can use one hand to do just that while he uses the other to do his sketches.(I headcannon he’s ambidextrous). He’s definitely the type to lick his fingers after you cum for him. Like he does it so casually. Aftercare with this man is HEAVEN. He’s so touch deprived you can count on cuddles and showers of kisses(and literal showers too). A worrier. Will ask over and over if he was too rough. And he can be ROUGH. Like face red with tears of pleasure, legs numb. Especially if you decided to be bratty with him.

Lester Sinclair

Much like Vincent he is also a worrier. But the whole time. Unlike Vince he can’t multitask as simply. But k GUARANTEE the moment you mention how your feeling he has dropped everything and is ready to please you. He’s like a puppy staring at you, waiting for instruction. Once he gets an idea of what you want he’s getting straight to work. He’s defo a chest guy. Don’t matter if you have boobs or not. He will watch for any reaction that you make, any spots on your body that warrant specific sounds or bodily reactions from you when he touches them. After a while he knows your body better then you do. He can be rough if you want him to but prefers to be gentle and thorough. He’s also an aftercare-aholic. Will hold you and smother you until you have to physically push him away(but why would you need to am I right?).

Jason Voorhees

As MANY people have stated, his feelings about sex are mixed. It was something the camp leaders who let him die participated in, and that was bad. But it was also something you clearly valued and you weren’t bad. You are the love of us life. Once he gets over the idea of it being sinful, he can RAIL. Like you can’t expect me to believe a guy his size doesn’t pound hard. When he sees your reactions to him for the first time he’s concerned. But when he learns it’s because he’s making you feel good he needs to hear and feel it again. Definitely more of a vanilla guy, but he’s good at it. Aftercare is amazing. His momma always taught him to treat his partner right. He’ll even take time off from hunting down the intruders of the camp to cuddle you and hold you close. He’s not small. That can be agreed on. That’s also something he knows. So he wants you to be okay. Besides, you come first. Always.

Omg Jesus. I hope this is okay or what you wanted. I didn’t do Charles specifically because I don’t know like ANYTHING abt him. I hope this doesn’t sound rushed or anything. Thanks for reading, take care loves<3

[dumbdolphin333]

So I decided to dip my toes into the Apple White drama (because I got hit in the head with a basketball like 3 times like 2 days ago so I’m pretty sure I got the common sense knocked out of me)

This is by no means a hot take, it’s quite literally such a basic opinion that you’ve seen like 5 times already. But I want to be included 🥺👉👈

Apple was manipulated since birth basically. Her trauma makes her terrified of uncertainty. Finding comfort in her destiny, preparing for it since such a young age- it’s understandable that she’d be horrified at Raven’s decision not to sign. (Also being told that she’d die go poof if Raven didn’t sign… that’s fucking scary).

However Apple was still a massive bitch to Raven. She knows that Raven doesn’t want to be evil. She knows that a terrible fate awaits Raven. And she actively pushes Raven to make the choice to go through that. To go against her nature, to hurt her friends, and to suffer for something that she was forced to do. That’s selfish. Apple acts selfishly.

But something I find interesting is that her motivations aren’t selfish. She doesn’t want her friends to suffer. To an extent, she believes that signing the storybook is better for raven. She believes that not signing will cause suffering and death for everyone. So in her mind, Raven is selfish. All Apple wants is for her friends to live good lives- and Raven wants to take that away? Oh, how selfish!

Except that’s Apple’s fear talking. Ever After is better because Raven didn’t sign. People can choose how to live their lives. Apple is just so wrapped up in her trauma that she can’t accept that. She can’t accept that things aren’t how she was taught, that what she found solace in and dedicated her life to isn’t true.

So really I think it boils down to the discussion of intent vs. actions. Apple made selfish decisions. Her decisions are absolutely influenced by trauma and manipulation, but they are her’s. Denying her any agency over what she did is pointless. And it also undermines her character development. She was meant to break out of those selfish decisions. And if those aren’t her decisions- then how did she even grow? And even though she thought that her decisions selfless, they weren’t. Which is why Apple is so goddamn interesting.

I think that at heart, Apple is a good person. But factoring her fear, trauma, and flaws she made selfish decisions. She made harmful decisions. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I honestly feel that Apple White lovers love her because she has a desire to protect those she loves. And Apple White haters hate her because she’s selfish, despite not even knowing it.

So yeah, that’s my two cents. Hope I did her character justice in my regurgitation of everyone else’s opinions analysis of her.

[physalian]

Creating Tragic Backstories Through Agency

This is absolutely a biased-as-hell post and not a rule of thumb for what you should do. This is me taking an opportunity to gush about my favorite method of designing backstories, which happen to end up tragic, and they’re something I’d like to see more of in fiction.

The thing that I want to see more of is, well, “tragedy”. Not necessarily the ‘terrible, awful, no good, very bad time’ aspect, but the ‘doom’ of one’s fate being sealed. Tragedy didn’t always mean a bad thing, just like doom didn’t. They meant an outcome that was inevitable, which usually happens to be a bad one.

So when I’m thinking about what TB I want to give a character, my very first thought is this: What single seemingly small choice did this character make that led them to this moment after snowballing out of control?

I like happenstance backstories as much as the next guy—little Orphan Annie an orphan by circumstance and not her own doing—but what I find equally if not more compelling is the character who is tragic because of their own choices. But instead of that choice killing them, it’s the genesis of the character they come to be.

Once again. This is not a rule. It’s just fascinating.

I wrote a character, princely type, and his tragic backstory contained a lot of awful shit. He was my therapy character and I put him through hell to make myself feel better, hence why that sci-fi WIP all over my posts remains unpublished. Half of his tragedy was out of his control: Mother, the queen, died suspiciously in childbirth with her only heir and his dad, queen consort, both never expected to have to do this without her and hates and blames his son for her death.

But the other half all began with a single choice. I had another character kind of like a warped Aladdin. This kid, his age, played on MC’s desperate need for a friend of any kind. Kid shows up, commits a crime against MC punishable by death, and MC breaks protocol (at like, 7 years old) and very publicly denounces the death sentence of another 7 year old. Kid takes this pardon and absolutely runs with it, manipulating what MC thinks is a genuine friendship into an extremely abusive power play all to get the throne, and MC can’t do shit about it.

The point was that it was MC’s humanity and compassion, and how that was taken advantage of, that was the foundation of his tragedy. This one choice, to spare the other kid’s life because it was the right thing to do, completely ruins MC’s life and snowballs into so many other tragedies as he grows up.

I’m all for the dead parent cliche, don’t get me wrong, but there’s something about a hero grappling with the consequences of their life unraveling because of one seemingly small choice, or a choice with seemingly only one good option. There’s something about a hero knowing that they are on this path because of decisions they made, and having to reckon with asking themselves if they would do it all again if given the chance. There’s just something about a hero blaming themselves for their circumstances, focusing on that one small act, when the big picture really can’t possibly all rest on their shoulders.

This is a very specific personality and backstory and is hardly applicable to every story you could tell, there’s just something about the agency of the tragedy that gets to me.

It doesn’t have to be necessarily big, either. Tragic characters like the divorced dad who’s divorced because he’s the one that cheated. The squad leader who made one bad call and got the rookie killed in action.

Choices that these characters would make, because it’s who they are fundamentally, over and over and over again even knowing what future was in store, whether that’s a selfless trait or a selfish one—the dad who still cheats because he’s got weak willpower, the squad leader who would still put the needs of the many first, the mission first.

This tends to work for characters who’ve had time to grow up and truly marinate in the repercussions of their actions. Kids who blame themselves get told by everyone around them trying to cheer them up that it couldn’t possibly have been their fault. An adult who’s had time to reflect and think and brood has cemented the idea that it’s their fault, in some capacity, and nothing is going to change their mind.

Perfect, poster boy example: Zuko.

Now I can’t speak for him and I don’t think the answer ever came in canon, but he fits that balance of “tragedy by circumstance” vs “tragedy by choice” perfectly.

Zuko’s circumstances being that though he’s the elder child, his sister is the ambitious prodigy and his dad is a power-hungry narcissist, whose machinations lead to Zuko’s mom murdering the current firelord so he can get the throne, which leads to her disappearance, which leads to Zuko having very little support systems, which leads to an incredibly fraught childhood.

Zuko’s choice, though, is the one everyone knows: To stand up for those soldiers at the war meeting, and to not fight his father in the Agni Kai. He probably knew at the Agni Kai that refusing to fight would define the rest of his life, however long it lasted, but I bet you he had no idea what would befall him at that meeting. It’s just who he is as a person, and I think he would do it all again, because to not would be a betrayal of his character.

Aang, too, his impulsive choice to run away during the storm wasn’t done knowing that he’d then survive the air nomad genocide (at least in the original). He was just angry and afraid and wanted some alone time that circumstances demanded came at the absolute worst/best moment possible. Aang would be tragic already being the last of his kind but being forced from the fight, like if he was knocked out or ordered to leave, wouldn’t hit the same. That he did it unknowingly just gives him so much more depth.

—

There is absolutely nothing wrong with TBs that are only tragedy by circumstance and you can get depth from other means. Orphan Annie isn’t any less valid because she had no control over her fate. Dead parents aren’t any less debilitating if they die in a house fire via gas leak, freak accident.

I just think one extra layer of depth and agency can propel a character that much higher.

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/765691014325452800/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7656128619764121

Hi Rain!

So here is how I see it (mostly my subjective speculations of course)

BSH had this troublemaker free spirit in his hands. On one hand, he knew what a huge and unique potential Tae had (as visual, character, artistry etc) so he couldn’t leave him out. But on the other hand, he knew that Tae would be the hardest to control. So what to do? He made sure to control him through the people Tae cares (his bandmates), treat him as an afterthought to beat his self confidence, make him feel like he is not needed but try to use him for your gain with the amount you want and all that manipulate games…

Tae shouldn’t be too front to shadow others but also intriguing enough to draw new audiences (it is well known and accepted that DNA was the breakthrough, a first step to worldwide success and guess who mostly caught new audiences eyes first?) so Tae has been a double edged sword since the beginning. His unique qualities and free spirit is what draw the audience but also make him difficult to control. Do you remember Tae’s birthday live when he was spoiling his songs and when staff reacted to that he said "what can company do? Fire me?" That was the self confidence that BSH was afraid of but well… :)

Imo, at the beginning, other guys tried to keep him under control but then they also (probably) realized all those control attempts were suffocating Tae and they were losing him anyway (hence his leaving attempts in 2018 and sugar’s letter to him and jk). I always think that Suga (especially) kept saying either 7 or 0 for the fans but also a message to company that they are all or nothing. Especially things changed when JK clearly stand on his side, imo, that changed the balance a LOT.

Once they (or most of them) backed him, BSH didn’t have much in his hands but manipulate him from outside… And because of his very good communication skils, that also didn’t work that well, imo. Because I remember many instances that can ended any idol’s career didn’t work on Tae at all (his smoking pictures, friend zoning fans from the get go, that airport scene when he reacted to stalker and lastly suing that woman with JK etc etc) He was seen as a disobedient rebel all along anyway, so in a way, this image saved him and bite BSH in the ass.

And Tae has been very smart in solo period, creating his own connections, making friends with important people in SK entertainment business as well as international brands (I think he didn’t have enough time to work on international part but I am sure he will after ms) he focused on entertainment shows to present himself directly to the audience as Kim Taehyung and it mostly worked. He is in the military and still on the news. And this Hybe situation is a mess and I know there is a manipulation operation on him to make him the bad guy but I don’t think it works. Any sane person can see that he has been a victim of the company and he stood his ground grounds.

Hi anon!

Sorry for having you wait for a reply for a couple of days (weird week, I wasn’t in the right headspace.. I’m fine now 😊). I’m gonna leave your thoughts here and just add my own, I think we find some overlap there.

I feel Bang Pd is a selfish and quite possibly an actual narcissistic person (though ofcourse it’s hard to diagnose). The way he inserts himself in footage, the way he uses members achievements to prop up himself, the abuse I think his artists go through. I think he’s ruthless. What you often see with narcissists, is how they will hate someone who takes away their sense of importance. I think, by Tae being Tae even at a young age, that’s what happened. I think Tae’s freespiritness and the way he carried him and just attracts attention might’ve irked Bang Pd early on. Him not having known Tae’s name for a year, to me feels like he wanted to make Tae feel small. The decision to have him be a hidden member, also made Tae feel small. I think he listened to his advisors and knew from a business perspective Tae is valuable, but he needed to mold him into someone he could just use. He probably wasn’t open about it, and he was probably even able to argue why he needed things to be the way they were, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see some personal dislike there at all. It’s total speculation from my side, but I think Tae played to Bang Pd’s insecurities just by being himself… and that’s why Tae never got the full spotlight. It can’t be his lack of talent, it can’t be his personality, it can’t be his working ethics.. so yeah.. I’m putting my money on it being unfair.

Now I think all members have had their own issues that they had to deal with. The music industry is an environment that I think causes hurt in many different ways (body image issues, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, mental abuse, physical abuse, forced substance abuse, lack of medical care, homophobia, closeting, forced plastic surgery, and the list goes on and on). I’m not saying all members went to any of these things, but I also think it’s naive to think only Tae has suffered from the hands of the company… and I just wanted to shine a light on that as well. We don’t know what goes on behind doors and we cannot know all the different waya the members have suffered. We ofcourse focus on Tae and Jk, but Tae and Jk are just a part of BTS and it’s absolutely realistic in my eyes that they as a band had to have all of their backs at some point. I think for instance that a lot of Jk’s care and concern towards Jm comes from Jk knowing when Jm has it tough (a different kind of tough, but tough nonetheless). I think they all know how tough Namjoon had it and they made attempts to, if only momentarily, lighten the load for him. I do think at one point they decided it’s 7 or nothing.. and imo that moment was probably heightened at the 2018 talks. I don’t think it was just Tae and Jk who were considering leaving, but probably several of them on different levels of seriousness. I do think there was a whole different level of concern and doubt present with Tae and Jk. For them signing on again meant having to keep hiding for the length of their new contract. That’s not an easy thing to sign on for, but them loving what they do (performing) and wanting a long career, knowing the other members have their backs must’ve made up their minds for them.

I’ve seen discussion on the other members having let the company abuse and neglect Tae, and I was saddened by that. Because, it goes against what Tae himself does. He signed on again for the members. I think that statement to some maybe doesn’t carry the weight it should. Imo it doesn’t mean that Tae signed on because he felt he owed it to them. Had he not genuinely felt they have his back and has he himself felt they leave him at the mercy of the company.. he would have left them. Because even though he has no say in some things, I do believe the power to resign lies with him and I think him capable of making good decisions for himself. I think the members make Tae feel like it’s worth it. I think they build him up, they comfort him, they value him, they make him feel like he belongs. That’s what they all do for each other.

As to Tae and Jk, I think most likely they suffered in equal but different ways. Not only would they be affected by what the other goes through, but both of them have had to hide and do things to keep hidden. Both of them have felt the same pressure and, though in different ways, Jk has also been used by the company. We talk about Tae being a free spirit, but I think Jk is also one. Jk isn’t able to fully Jk as much as Tae isn’t able to fully Tae. Jk’s music might’ve been pushed by the company in ways that Tae will never be, but his achievements have been taken and used for Bang Pd’s benefit. They talk about him as if he’s their creation. Jk’s insecurities about why people love him, don’t just come from nowhere. He’s been made to believe he has to fit a mold. I think the members all flocked around them, because they actually know and love them both and because they recognize (all of them, because they themselves are in it too) how wrong the company is.

I think the company’s main goal and interest lies in BTS as a group. I think these solo projects have been hugely used to keep fandom interest up (as has Taennie, as has Ays) and they fully want to collect every last drop of money they can before BTS goes on hiatus or whatever form they take on after reunion. They probably already suspect which members will sign on individually and which won’t.. which might explain the different levels of company push.

I probably went all kind of ways here (always fun to see my adhd reflected in my writing 🙈). There’s so much more to say, because it’s not a simple situation at all. There’s probably things at play none of us can even imagine.

[vulpisnocturna]

Yn wants to break up with Itachi bc she fell out of love?How'd he react? I'm sure he'd heartbroken

Anon!!! Hasn’t Itachi suffered enough?? 🥺🥺

I’m doing it, but I’m making it a yandere because y/n made a mistake and there’s no way you’re falling out of love with this man, nuh uh. And also because bro is still an Uchiha. If he falls in love with you, sorry, it’s for life

Warnings: Uchiha ex (speaks for itself), yandere-ish Itachi (toxic ex, stalkerish, manipulative tactics, possessiveness)

- At first, Itachi would listen calmly and passively to what you have to say. His face is completely blank, but inside, it feels as though his ribcage is breaking apart and his lungs cannot fill with air. He can’t understand why. Did he do something wrong? Have you finally realised how undeserving he was of your love? Is he so selfish that his mind is already working through what you’re saying to find a counter argument?

-When you are finished, you are sobbing, and Itachi feels a heavy lump in his throat. He doesn’t know what to say. What to do. The pain in his chest is too strong. After all, he keeps losing people. And he thought you’d be the one to stay. You’d promised you would.

-‘Say something’ you manage to say, and Itachi swallows, exhaling softly. His eyes sting, but he refuses to cry. No, he won’t try to guilt trip you with emotions. That’s not his style.

-‘I am sorry I hurt you. I am sorry I was unable to make you happy’ he says, voice strained but calm. Inside Itachi, there’s a storm brewing. He hates this. Hates feeling as though you hate him. Hates feeling like he’s being replaced. Hates that you want to leave. Hates that your love was fickle in the end.

-‘You made me the happiest’ you sniffle, and he shakes his head softly, his tightened lips the only sign of disappointment he has let through his stony façade.

-‘If I had, we would not be having this conversation right now. Goodbye, my love’ he says the last sentence heavily, picking up his things and leaving. You had told him you did not know why you felt as though you loved him, but you weren’t in love with him anymore. But Itachi’s not just going to give up on the one he loves so easily.

-You two belong together, he knows it, deep inside his heart. And if you still love him, he only has to make sure to rekindle the feelings you had at the start. To Itachi, this is a mission. And he never fails his missions.

-He leaves you alone for the time being. He stays in the shadows, follows you around, sees how you’re doing. Inside, he’s seething every time you smile at someone that’s not him. At the same time, he feels guilty. He should really let you go. But those feelings soon fade when he remembers how happy you were with him. If you said he had made you “the happiest” then Itachi’s going to do even more than that

-When you start to see another man, Itachi puts him under a genjutsu and makes him avoid you. It hurts him to see you sad and disappointed, but it’s for the best. He could never give you what Itachi could anyway. He could never hope to protect you or love you as much as he does

-Oh no, your car broke down. Itachi happens to be passing by and fixes it for you. No, of course he’s not angry or resentful about what happened. He just wants you to be happy. No, he’s alright, don’t worry about him. He just hopes you’re doing better.

-You’re so glad Itachi is so mature. You still feel really sad and miserable without his warmth around you, and seeing that he’s not trying to get you back and wishes you happiness without him leaves a little hole in your heart. You wonder why part of you wanted him to be angry and try to get you back. You wonder if you made the right choice

-Itachi is carefully going to concoct the perfect scenarios to show you that he can always be there for you. That you need him, somehow. It feels wrong to do, but if it’s for your love, he’s determined to do anything he can to win you back. And the sad eyes you seem to have when you think no one is looking let him know that he’s in the right. That you were happier with him

-He happens to bump into you from time to time. Not enough to make you suspicious, but enough to keep himself on your mind. Every relationship you start to have with someone else turns out badly. They don’t do enough, they don’t understand you, they don’t fully know you. And you begin to wonder if maybe Itachi was the right person. If you made a colossal mistake (you have, y/n, go back to him)

-Itachi finds you at his doorstep one evening, your teeth chewing the corner of your bottom lip, your eyes sad. He wonders if he should have just accepted your decision. Wonders if he can truly make you happy again

-But then, you hug him, burying your face into his chest, and the world is set to rights again. Yes. This is exactly what you need. Itachi comforts you, soothing your back with warm caresses, kissing the top of your head, basking in the faint scent of your perfume and shampoo. He hates seeing you cry. He’s never letting this happen again. Never letting you be in a situation where you might fall out of love

-‘I made a mistake- Itachi, I- I think I still love you. I don’t know what to do’ you say, and Itachi strokes your hair, his heart slowly being pieced back together by your words

-‘Shh. I love you l. I will always love you. What do you want to do, my love?’

-‘I want to get back with you’

[babybemydownfall]

things that shimmer in the dark Part VI: Feyre Because I couldn't go past the snowy forest, and angry Feyre lying on top of Rhys.

“You want to kiss me,” he murmured, amusement dancing in his violet eyes. “I do not.” But he was right. My rage was rapidly giving way to another fiery, roiling, all-consuming feeling. I fought it, so frustrated that my body would betray me at a time like this, and the last sparks roared out of me: I actually growled at him. And then his expression changed, and I felt every single inch of his cock as it hardened between my thighs.

Read on AO3 or beneath the cut. Thank you for the love. I hope you enjoy this chapter too. <3

II

I had forgotten a lot of things lately. That I was strong; that I could burn and become darkness and grow claws. I had forgotten to fight the Attor, just as I had the Weaver. I had forgotten to fight for myself.

I could not deny Rhys was right about that.

But I had also forgotten who he was. The last two days had disorientated me. His beautiful mouth all over my body; the starlight in his eyes that burned only for me. The flirtatious notes he wrote as I tried to light that damned candle in the snow: Life is better when you’re around.

He had let me in, shown me his sweet, sexy side - which I had fallen for as swiftly and helplessly as a raindrop plummeting from the sky. But I had lost sight of the rest of him. He was still High Lord of the Night Court. He was still cunning. He would still manipulate those around him to get what he wanted.

Even me.

And I would not be a pawn. Not for him; not for anyone.

His body was hot and hard beneath me as I winnowed and tackled him to the forest floor. My face was inches from his. His warm breath caressed my lips: it smelt of kissing him and of nothing in particular and of the memory of his head between my legs. How different this scenario might have been had I not been so furious with him.

“Don’t ever use me as bait again,” I snarled, barely registering the talons that curled from my fingers into his shoulders. In the past he had made me angry on purpose, to get me to feel something - but this was different. This rage inside me was a direct result of his actions. His selfish deception. This rage hurt.

“Why didn’t you tell me your plan? I would have willingly helped you. I am not some trophy for you to use to further your own agenda.”

His gaze suddenly turned cold, as if he could hear the words clawing at the back of my throat: like Tamlin.

“I am not-”

But I was not finished. “You said I could be a weapon,” I spoke over him, my voice icy. I straightened my arms, pushing myself up above him. “Teach me to become one. Or I am done.”

He looked up at me for a long moment. I was panting; he didn’t breathe at all. And then his whole being softened, and he sighed. “Fair enough. I’m sorry, Feyre.”

I felt his hands come up to my hips and wondered how often he’d said those words. But there was still anger coursing through me; my edges were still raw and exposed. I stared down at him, at the snow in his stupid hair and his ridiculously handsome face and the way his fucking delicious mouth twisted into a smirk.

“You want to kiss me,” he murmured, amusement dancing in his violet eyes.

“I do not.”

But he was right. My rage was rapidly giving way to another fiery, roiling, all-consuming feeling. I fought it, so frustrated that my body would betray me at a time like this, and the last sparks roared out of me: I actually growled at him.

And then his expression changed, and I felt every single inch of his cock as it hardened between my thighs.

“Rhysand! I’m trying to be angry with you.”

“I can’t help it.”

Neither could I - I shifted on him and we both groaned. My breasts tightened; my red lacy underwear became soaked in an instant. I knew Rhys sensed both of these things. His fingertips dug into my flesh as he slowly ground me against the rock-solid length of him; my talons receded as my head fell forwards, the end of my braid landing on his face. He bit it and tugged, pulling painfully on my scalp, making me moan.

“You winnowed,” he said a moment later, and it was so unexpected I looked up at him. His eyes were dark, full of lust and awe. “You have so much power, Feyre darling. So much. I can’t wait to see what you can do with it.”

It seemed that turned him on. I knew the feeling. Seeing him yesterday, standing in my father’s house for the first time, even with his power dimmed - he was otherworldly. Extraordinary. God-like.

I had melted with desire then - just as I was melting right now.

We had unconsciously started to move together, a gentle, unhurried rhythm. I could already feel the orgasm building deep in my core, exquisite pleasure radiating through my body each time my clit rubbed so firmly against his cock.

“Shouldn’t you follow Azriel?” I asked with the small remaining part of my brain that was still functional. “Interrogate the Attor with him?” It had barely been ten minutes since the Shadowsinger had departed and now here Rhys and I were, writhing on each other in the snow.

“Yes,” he admitted, “I should. But Az can handle things for a while.”

He magically unfastened the front of my jacket. The cold air through my shirt made my nipples harden even further. When his big hands came up to hold my breasts, to squeeze them and brush his thumbs over the sensitive peaks, I cried out and jerked against him as a fresh wave of arousal crashed over me.

“Feyre,” he groaned, and kept touching me as I leaned down to kiss him, our mouths open, our tongues clashing. My hands were still on his shoulders; I slid one into his raven hair, dragging my nails, pulling the silken strands as he had pulled mine. He bucked his hips and hissed against my teeth.

“Do you want to do this here?” he asked, breathing hard.

“Shield us.”

I kissed him again; spread my knees wider, wanting more connection, more friction. When I got it, we both moaned.

“I have,” Rhys said, his lips moving on mine as I refused to let us part. “But there might still be danger.”

There was a wild animal inside me this morning and it growled again.

“I don’t care.”

And then he was sitting up and I was straddling his lap, and his kisses became even more voracious as he held my ass and moved me against him faster, both of us seeking more, seeking relief from this agonising, exquisite torture.

“I want… need… to be… inside you,” he said in the moments our mouths weren’t connected.

But I was so, so close already. “Just wait.”

I felt him still for the briefest second as he realised what was about to happen; then he was kissing me even harder, his tongue deep in my mouth, and his calloused palm slid beneath my shirt, up along my side to my bare breast. He gripped and kneaded, and rolled my nipple between his fingers. His other hand slipped between my legs from behind, pressing firmly over my entrance, rubbing there, adding even more sensation. Stars flickered behind my eyelids; I ground helplessly on his cock, each push on my clit making me throb harder, bringing me so near to release I could almost… almost… touch it…

He pulled away from our kiss suddenly and ducked his head, sucking my other nipple into his mouth through my shirt, biting it - and I came. So, so hard, still thrusting against him, riding the endless waves, drawing it out for as long as possible. My sounds were guttural and loud; if we hadn’t been shielded, I had no doubt I would have scared the birds from the trees.   

I had barely finished coming when Rhys drew me urgently back to the present, kissing his way up my throat, his hands sliding between us to undo his pants. I didn’t know how I would get out of mine without extricating myself from his lap, which I was loathe to do. But then he was sucking on my earlobe and murmuring: “Do you trust me?”

My answer was instantaneous: “Yes.”

We both looked down and watched as his fingernail became a gleaming black talon, and he sliced through the seam of my leather trousers as easily as if they were made of cobwebs. He lightly ran the sharp point over the red lace beneath, tracing over my swollen nerves, making me tremble and cry out; then the talon vanished and he pushed the material aside and sank his finger deep inside me.

Our eyes met again and suddenly the world ceased to exist. We were surrounded by nothing but darkness and stars. I didn’t know if it was all in my mind or if Rhys had thrown out his power around us, but I didn’t care. Especially as he moved his finger in and out of me several times; then raised my hips and sunk me down onto his cock instead.

The fullness was… everything. As was the look on his face: his eyes hooded, cheeks flushed, mouth half open. I smiled at him, because he was beautiful, and when he smiled back it made my heart ache. 

And then we began to move together once again, him driving up into me as I rode him. He leaned back on his arms, giving himself leverage to fuck me harder, deeper; I grew wetter around him, drenching my underwear and his. I unfastened the buttons of my shirt and let it fall open, showing him my breasts, and the way they bounced up and down. If the air was frigid I no longer noticed; I was flushed and warmed, by his body and the burning heat of his gaze.

The darkness pressed closer. Stars floated around us, specks of light so bright I thought I might be able to touch them. But my hands were busy: touching myself - my bare breasts and stomach; my clit, gently, because it was still tender - and him. I wished he was naked too, wished I could see his gorgeous tanned skin, his incredible muscles. But I felt them anyway, beneath his jacket and shirt; felt his huge, powerful thighs behind me, beneath his pants.

Leaning back like this made his cock brush against the front wall of my vagina; against the spot there that he, and only he, had discovered. And just like when he played with my nipples, it sent my desire spiralling upwards, filling me with liquid, golden sweetness.

Rhys was so tense, watching my every movement so intently, that I knew he was close. I willed my talons back and they appeared easily. I held myself up with one arm while my other hand trailed down my neck, between my breasts, scratching red lines into my pale skin. I had known the effect it would have on him, seeing me use my power; seeing me with claws. He was nothing but a feral beast, underneath it all - as was I, it seemed.

But I hadn’t realised how good it would feel for me. The sensation was part pain, part ticklish. It made me shiver. Made me clench around him.

And it made him come.

His pounding was frantic, at the end; his eyes fell shut and his head tipped back, and he roared into the night as he spilled himself inside me.

I followed. It was easy, with him. The easiest thing in the entire universe.

He sat forward and wrapped me in his arms, his face buried in my neck, his chest heaving against mine as he struggled for air. I held onto him too, my only point of contact in this celestial place. The only thing stopping me floating away entirely.

“Oh Feyre,” he sighed eventually. He kissed my jaw, my mouth, before gazing into my eyes once again. His were soft and lovely. The side of him that no one else would ever see. “When you become a weapon… you will be truly formidable. I would hate to be your enemy.”

I squeezed him with my internal muscles and smiled as he groaned. “So teach me then - or else I might turn on you.”

He laughed, a low sound which I felt all the way through my body, my soul. I had been too distracted by everything else to think about the bond between us this time, but it was still there - as strong and solid as ever. I stroked it and Rhys squeezed me more tightly to him, as if to say: Yes. You are mine.

“I will try and teach you,” he said softly. “But I can’t guarantee this won’t happen every time.”

I brushed my nose against his, humming contentedly in the back of my throat. “I don’t see that as a problem.”

We kissed with smiling lips before we reluctantly parted. He cleaned us and helped me up, where we both rearranged and refastened our clothes. I mentioned the slice he had cut in my trousers and he grinned and repaired it by magic. We were still standing in starlit sky, although I could feel the forest floor firmly beneath my feet.

“Oh, this,” he said, noticing me looking around. “My power surged and I had to let some of it out.”

“I like it.”

I held out my fingers, talon-free once more, and a tiny blue star danced along them.

“There are many kinds of darkness,” Rhys said quietly. “The darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful.”

I closed my eyes and pictured each as he spoke.

“There is the darkness of assassins… and the darkness of lovers. It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be, needs it to be. It is not wholly bad or good.”

This darkness felt good. In a world unfamiliar to me now, below the Wall, it felt safe. A creature like the Attor would never be able to take me from here.

From Rhys.

I inhaled deeply, and realised I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done such a thing. Breathed easily.

I felt his hands take mine. “I am sorry Feyre. For earlier. I was wrong to use you like that. It won’t happen again.”

I looked at him, blinking in the sudden daylight, and knew I had already forgiven him. The sounds of the forest crept back in; a light snowfall had started. Everything was as it had been before - and yet it wasn’t. I knew now that I could reach my power; that I would be able to use it, to wield it. I knew I was being hunted, and that made me more determined to succeed.

But above all, I knew with certainty, for the very first time, that I would heal. I would forever have a scar, a big one, right across my heart - but I would heal and I would be happy again. With time. With Rhys.

I took another deep breath. Even without the darkness, it was easier than it had been in months. “Can we post the letter to the Queens and go home?”

“Home?”

“To Velaris.” He swallowed; his fingers squeezed mine. “I need to write a letter of my own. To tell Tamlin I am never going back.”

II

[joys-of-everyday]

On the fifty shades of morally grey

So quick thoughts on how MXTX writes morally grey.

Sorry, I mean, excessively long meta post on how MXTX writes morally grey. Light spoilers for all three books.

A gazillion caveats to begin with. Firstly, I don’t want to argue about whether character x is morally good, bad, grey, pink or whatever. In my books, arguing about whether someone is or is not morally grey is like arguing whether a colour is green, blue, teal, or turquoise – we’re arguing definitions. To add to that, I’m not saying that concepts like ‘this person is overall good’ doesn’t exist, but I would posit that a morally unquestionable person does not exist. Secondly, I also don’t want to pass moral judgements on any of the characters. That’s for a different post. I strictly want to focus on the storytelling techniques that make the reader think ‘hang on a second, are they good or bad?’. Thirdly, this whole post is mainly based on How Arcane Writes MORAL AMBIGUITY (9 Methods, 4 Rules) - YouTube. Great video, great channel (no knowledge of Arcane required). Would recommend if you are interested in story writing techniques!

1) The information gap and the poor narrator

Best example is Shen Jiu from SVSSS. We barely know anything about Shen Jiu. Almost everything we know is from SQQ’s notoriously unreliable perspective, so we’re left to fill in the gaps ourselves. Depending on exactly how those gaps are filled, you can get two completely different people. E.g. Did he have designs of NYY, or was he just ridiculously misunderstood? Who knows! We’re never told. Even if we were told, we should doubt it because it’s SQQ telling us.

2) 4D characterisation

Schnee’s video goes into this in more details, but this is where you build two narratives on top of one another. Best example is Jin Guangyao from MDZS. Is he an underdog who did what he could out of his situation and tried his best to be a better person working for the good of the common people? Or is he a selfish, manipulative, ambitious snake who at every stage pretends to be good in order to win the favour of those around him? The point is that both narratives make sense in the story. There are moments that lean more one way or another, but you can never quite pin him down completely.

3) Moments of weakness

Best example is Xie Lian from TGCF. On the whole, XL is a wonderful human being who you 100% want to root for. Except… there was that one time he made a mistake. He let his hurt and pain overcome him; he became hurtful himself. The point here is to add in just a few ‘moments’ which fundamentally impacts how the rest of the world perceives them from that point forwards. They are forever trying to redeem themselves, forever weighed down by what is a tiny proportion of their life. The underlying question is ‘is a moment of weakness a moral failure?’

Another good example is Qi Rong from TGCF. On the whole, he’s a piece of s***. But then there are moments when he’s a genuinely good father to Guzi, and that’s confusing.

4) Well-intentioned idiot

Trying to do the right thing and absolutely failing. Best example is Wei Wuxian from MDZS. His intentions are always good. There are extremely few moments where he is selfish or overly cruel. He is always fighting for justice, always self-sacrificing, always kind. And yet the outcome of his actions is pretty bad. The underlying question is ‘should you judge a person based on their intent, or on the consequences of their actions?’

(btw the name of the method is from schnee’s video. No shade on WWX. He is very smart… well, unless it comes to LWJ’s feelings.)

5) Excuses

Yes, they’re bad. But we feel sorry for them! Almost everyone fits into this boat, because doesn’t MXTX love trauma dumping? As one example, let’s look at Jiang Cheng from MDZS. JC’s behaviour towards WWX is pretty bad on its own. But given the context of his childhood being compared to him, of having his self-esteem brutally crushed by both parents? Knowing how much he’s done and sacrificed for him, how much he truly cared for him as family? It hits different.

A small point: ‘excuses aren’t enough’ we say a lot (and I agree, to an extent). But compare, for example, Jin Guangshan vs Xue Yang. JGS seems to be a power-hungry asshole for absolutely no reason. On the other hand, put XY in different circumstances and we feel like he might have been a better person. Just as food for thought, there was a Japanese monk Honen (1133-1212) who said: ‘The good person can reach the Pure Land, so of course the evil person can as well’. The point being that the people who struggle with anger and hate because of their circumstances are most in need of salvation.

6) World building and presenting hard questions

What is acceptable sacrifice in war?

Is it okay to make a super dangerous weapon for the sake of deterrence?

How much personal responsibility does someone hold for a lifetime of circumstances pushing them towards a morally questionable path?

What are the responsibilities of a leader – to do what is right, or to do what is best for their people?

The world of MDZS is imperfect. It’s full of horrors and disasters, as well as a mob of outsiders all trying to impart their opinions despite knowing little about the situation. An imperfect world presents unanswerable questions. We see the characters struggle with these questions, come to decisions, and make mistakes, all naturally arising within the complex world that’s been presented. 

TGCF does this most explicitly. We literally have Kemo and Pei Xiu arguing about the ethics of war and XL concluding that it’s a Hard Question. In fact, every backstory of every Heavenly Official presents a new Hard Question. I don’t know if I like this method over the more subtle style of MDZS, but I have Thoughts about the storytelling styles of both (long story short, I love them both for different reasons).

7) Worlds are colliding

A slightly complicated method that takes a huge amount of set up. To summarise, set up two arcs that we the reader both feel invested in. Then set up a point where the ‘good’ outcome of one is the ‘bad’ outcome of another. For MDZS, we have 1) JC and WWX’s brotherhood arc. 2) WWX standing up for justice arc. They’re both merrily developing all the way through the conflict with the Wens… right until the moment WWX has to make a choice: stand up for justice and leave JC behind, or to fulfil his promises to JC and turn a blind eye to the injustices against the Wens. The decision is a lose-lose scenario because of the way these arcs have been set up.

8) Spectrums, Spectrums, we love Spectrums

Gongyi Xiao is a cinnamon roll. As is Wen Ning and Quan Yizhen. Meanwhile, the Old Palace Master? Literally no redeeming qualities. Wen Chao? Absolute scum. Then there’s everyone lying somewhere in between. We like Lan Wangji more than JC (I think that seems to be the case for most people?) but we certainly like JC more than JGS. Having a spectrum of morality is important because it gives us reference points to contrast and compare. It also emphasises the moral greyness of everything, because sure, Mu Qing isn’t a noodle like Shi Qingxuan, but is he worse than White No Face?

9) Spectrums aren’t enough – adding depth

Almost all of WWX’s moral ambiguity comes from the fact he has hard decisions to make. And for each of these decisions, the outcome is murky. He developed a new technique to fight against the Wens, but at what cost later down the line? He defended the Wens and gave them a few years of life, but was it worth it?

Compare with JGY. JGY does a lot of good. He also does a lot of bad. The magnitude of both lists is ridiculous. Sure, you wouldn’t usually find someone who’s killed most of their family members in any way likable, but how often do you come across someone who literally ended a war?

So one way of creating moral ambiguity is to make each decision difficult, but another way to go about it is to just… make them do loads of things. Like loads of things. Good things, bad things, all the in between things. Judging each thing is not that hard, but then trying to judge the overall person based on it is extremely difficult.

10) Pulling from the real world

Often, moral questions in fiction is hard because (surprise, surprise) moral questions are just hard full stop. Idk enough Chinese history and culture to accurately pin down all of MXTX’s references, but things like stupid misunderstands leading to conflict, poverty and inequality, less than ideal family situations, the horrors of war… these are all things that happen irl. No matter how fantastical the setting, grounding moral conflicts in reality makes us feel more emotional and invested.

Anyway, I hope that was an enjoyable rundown! This is an imperfect list, so comments, criticisms, suggestions greatly appreciated!