#and I’m gonna stay up till 5 am just so I can see her texts and ignore them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theasstour · 4 years ago

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𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟐𝟔.𝟑𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭

A/N: As you’re all aware, the Philippines was hit by a category 5-equivalent super typhoon two weeks ago. The typhoon is the world’s strongest storm this year and has brought with it unimaginable destruction. Here’s a link to #RescuePH where you can read more about what’s happening in the Philippines right now. There are also donation links there! If you don’t have the means to donate – which is very understandable - here’s a link to a video to watch on YouTube where all ad revenue goes to those affected by the typhoon! I have learned so much about Filipino culture these last few months writing ST as well as gotten to know some incredible Filipinos along the way, and the news of the typhoon has rocked me to my core. If you feel like, you can play the video in the background while you’re reading this massive chapter! Enjoy the final chapter 🧡💛 I love you all so much!

Sunday, 9 August

“It’s a beautiful day out,” Y/N’s mother said as she looked out over Porthminster Beach, leaning her head back a little and letting a salty breeze rustle up her grey hair. “Shame we’re spending it in the shade.”

Y/N glanced up at the roof overhead that offered rescue in the sweltering summer sun. Though she loved the sun as well and wanted to spend as much time in it as possible before summer ended soon, she knew that this chat would have her sweating enough without them sitting out of the shade the Porthminster Beach Café provided. Y/N looked down at her iced lemon tea, inhaling slowly as to calm herself. All day yesterday, Y/N had been too anxious to do anything but stay in her room and think about today. While in the lighthouse the day before yesterday, Y/N had sent her mother a text message asking if the two of them could talk without her father or Dominic being present. She knew her mother would’ve told them by now where she was and what she was doing, but she appreciated the fact that she had listened to Y/N’s request and not brought them.

“Didn’t get to go to a proper beach this summer,” Mrs McKay went on, eyes on the sea and where the waves crashed softly against shore. “The family could’ve gone someplace nice, would’ve been good for us.”

Y/N didn’t say anything.

“Think we all just need a break. Go somewhere to forget about everything and reflect on our lives.”

Y/N still kept her mouth shut, knowing that she had to choose her words carefully so that her mother would fully understand.

“Do you remember when we went to that beach in Florida and you saw that sting ray?” Mrs McKay chuckled a little to herself.

“And I screamed for help ‘cause it scared me.”

Mrs McKay laughed some more at the memory, studying the beach some more. “That was truly something else. Not something you’d normally do.”

Y/N didn’t know what to say to that.

“Don’t you miss those days? When everything was simple?” Mrs McKay seemed to be completely lost in her own head and memories, thinking back to a time she had clearly glorified.

“I don’t…” Y/N trailed off, furrowing her brows. “I don’t think everything was that simple back then, or now, for that matter.”

“What do you mean?” Mrs McKay asked. “Don’t you think the family would benefit from taking some time off and just relax like we did back then?”

“It’s…” Y/N glanced at her iced tea. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know if it would’ve been a good idea for the family to reconnect again?”

“I don’t know.”

“How can you not? We need to talk about everything that’s happened these past few months. And especially what happened two days ago, because your father and I agree, Y/N, that was very irresponsible of you, throwing yourself out of a moving vehicle like that.”

“I know it was, I’m aware,” she said. “But in that moment, and I think you know this deep down, that was the only solution. You wouldn’t have stopped to let me out.”

Mrs McKay sighed. “We should definitely think about that holiday I just suggested, it’d be nice.”

Y/N bit her bottom lip, studying her mother for a moment before she spoke for the first time in a few minutes. “I don’t… I don’t think it would be, Mum.”

“What do you mean?”

“It wouldn be nice to go on that holiday.”

Mrs McKay finally looked at her daughter, eyes following her outline slowly with a slight tilt to her head as if she was trying to assess what was best to say in this sort of situation. “The beach is always nice.”

“I wasn’t referring to the beach. I was referring to family time.”

Mrs McKay nodded her head slowly, bringing her glass of water up to her lips to take a slow sip.

“I think… I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for a while now. I think you’ve known it would happen as well.”

Her mother didn’t answer.

“I just… I just want to talk about everything and what’s gonna happen going forward. I don’t want there to be anything left unsaid after this.”

Mrs McKay kept her eyes on the table and nodded again. “Alright. What did you want to talk about?”

“Well… a lot, really.”

“Better start then.”

Y/N swallowed thickly, taking a quick sip of her iced tea before she turned her attention back on her mother, reaching for the ball of courage she had gathered from thinking about and getting ready for this the past two days. “I think ever since I was born, you’ve put pressure on me to live the kind of life you couldn’t when you were younger. When you got me, you saw possibility to make something right that you yourself hadn’t been able to.-”

“-That’s not true.”

“Let me finish. I think, until you got me, you were lonely. Dad wasn’t exactly a fucking dream-“

“-Watch your language.-“

“-And you didn’t really have any friends, so the second I was born, you finally had someone. You could do whatever you wanted with me. Or at least, that’s what you thought,” Y/N said. “You projected this image onto me of what you thought the perfect daughter, the perfect woman, would be, and ‘cause I was terrified of letting you and Dad down, I went along.”

“You’d never do that.”

“But I have. And I will.”

Mrs McKay furrowed her brows, but before she was able to say anything else – though she’d talk over people if she so had to, Y/N knew.

“I’ve been so conflicted, mum.” Y/N heard her own voice break, and it wasn’t till then that she realised that she was close to tears. The lines between Mrs McKay’s brows deepened at the sound. “Part of me hates you.”

Mrs McKay’s face fell at that.

“It hates you so much. It hates you for the days you told me you noticed I’d lost weight and how beautiful I now looked, it hates you for never being interested to listen to me talk about what I’m passionate about, it hates you for belittling said passions and making me feel stupid for having ambitions.”

“Y/N-“

“-It hates you for making me feel conflicted when I first followed my dreams, ‘cause I didn’t know if I was supposed to follow my own or the ones you’d laid out for me just to please you momentarily. Hates you for the trauma you caused me. For the countless hours spent in front of a mirror pointing out my flaws, and taking a really long time to realise that said flaws aren’t that. For hearing your voice in my head when I make a mistake, telling me how I should’ve known better.”

Now it was Mrs McKay’s turn to be stunned to silence, just watching Y/N with a steel face, refusing to show any sign of emotion.

“But…” Y/N dug her nails into her palms, telling herself that she could cry when she got back to the Inn, but not now. “But the other part of me, one that I hate most of all, still loves you.”

Mrs McKay’s lip was a thin line and Y/N recognised that face. That face appeared when her mother was unsure of how to feel about something, but by the looks of the slight tremor in her cheeks, Y/N knew her words had gotten through.

Y/N sobbed, hoping no one around them could hear and that no one she knew were around to witness this. “It loves you ‘cause you’re my mum. You brought me into this world, and you’ve stuck by me. You made me feel loved when I was younger, and I used to look up to you. You used to be my role model.”

Mrs McKay looked away.

“That part makes me feel so horrible, ‘cause how can you love someone who brought you so much self-loathing and misery? How is that possible?” Y/N was quick to wipe away the tear on her cheek. “But I do. I can’t erase that or you from my memory. Part of me is going to miss you after this.”

Mrs McKay met Y/N’s eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t want you to contact me again. None of you. Not you, not Dad, not Dominic.”

Mrs McKay looked absolutely dumbfounded. “I beg your pardon?”

“You three brought me so much torment I don’t want you in my life anymore.”

“Y/N, you’re being ridiculous-“

“-If you want to contact me or meet me, you have to ask me via text message if I am okay with that. If I say yes, that only makes it a one-time thing, we are not going to stay in contact after it. If I say no, don’t try to persuade me, manipulate me, or make me feel bad about it. I’m pushing you out of my life for a reason.”

“Try to think rationally for once-“

“-If you do not respect this and come after me again, I’ll file a restraining order against you, Dad, and Dominic. Won’t look too good on Dad’s record now, will it?”

Mrs McKay just sat there staring again.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Mrs McKay didn’t react.

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

Y/N nodded then, picking up her iced tea and hoping her mum didn’t see how her hand was trembling slightly.

“You don’t want any contact with your family? The people who are supposed to love you unconditionally-“

“-You might love me, but it’s not in a way that’ll help me grow. Which is what love is all about. St Ives and the people I’ve met here, those are my family. This is home now.”

Mrs McKay took a few moments to think before she said, with a voice so ice cold it made Y/N’s hair stand on end, “You can’t choose your family. You’re put into this world- you’re placed somewhere, where you belong.”

“No. Family and belonging are not synonymous. You are my birth family, but I can choose who I consider to be in my closest circle, the people that mean the most to me,” Y/N said. “You are not that.”

A short silence stretched out between them before Mrs McKay said, “What about your father’s business? The one he inherited from his father, your grandfather.”

“What about it?” Y/N asked. “You never even bothered to tell me what it is.”

“Oh, it’s got something to do with electronic pins. You know those you have in your phone?”

Y/N just looked at her mother.

“I’ve never bothered to ask much, Y/N, it hasn’t ever been very interesting to me.”

“Maybe it would’ve been to me if you’d just let me in on it from the start instead of assuming I was too dim to take on the role as CEO.”

Mrs McKay’s eyes narrowed as if she was about to protest, but she must’ve realised her daughter was speaking the truth because she did not object.

“Can’t Dad just let someone else be CEO? Someone who is actually good at their job instead of giving the job away to Dominic?”

“Dom is qualified for the role.”

“Sure, but he’s also a fucking arsehole.”

Mrs McKay winced at Y/N’s words.

“Mum, you never even wanted me to know what Dad was doing. Let alone want me to take over for him. It’s never been a problem before that I won’t take over after him, dunno why it would be now.”

Mrs McKay just looked at Y/N, their conversation on replay in her head it seemed because she was conflicted. For the longest time, they just stared at one another and realised what this meant. Y/N had been ready for this conversation for a while now, even though she hadn’t realised how badly it needed to be had till this very second. Mrs McKay, nor the other two that had come here, had truly known how Y/N felt before last night. What Y/N had said along with her actions must have spoken volumes. But this, Y/N was aware, took the cake. She was telling her mother, a person who had given up next to everything for Y/N in a sense, to never contact her again unless she had to. It had to sting, and Y/N knew that she would miss her mother sometimes. Those moments when they’d laugh at something together or those early years where Y/N remembered idolising her mum. She’d miss that. But she would also be so much happier without her in her life.

“Well,” Mrs McKay said, voice trembling. “I should be heading back to your dad. He won’t be too happy about the news.”

“Mum, you can leave him.”

The pitiful smile that graced Mrs McKay’s face after that made Y/N cringe. “I won’t.”

Y/N nodded, watching as her mother got up from her seat. She did as well, giving her mother a small smile to offer some peace, to tell her that it would all be okay. At least in Y/N’s world. Y/N could tell that her mother hesitated at first, but once she stepped forward with her arms spread wide, Y/N walked straight into her embrace. They hugged each other tighter than they had ever hugged before, savouring this last, this peaceful moment that they had together.

“Goodbye, Y/N,” her mum said, rubbing her daughter’s back.

“Bye, Mum.”

They stepped away from one another and her mother smiled at her again. Y/N swore she could see tears welling up in her mother’s eyes, but she chose not to point it out, fully aware that she was about to cry herself. Mrs McKay drank the rest of her water, looked one last time into Y/N’s eyes, and then walked past her, down the stairs, and out of sight.

Monday, 10 August

The teapot was empty and all the biscuits were gone, meaning that Florence, Camila, and Barb were leaving The Roaming Crab Inn. The five of them had been knitting for hours now, and though Y/N had finished her project a while ago, she wanted to spend some more time with the knitting ladies before doing what she had to do. Florence folded the jumper she was working on and Barb hummed some sort of melody while Camila talked everyone’s ears off.

“I’m telling you,” Camila said, putting away her glasses. “The sleeves on this dress are way too big.”

“No, they’re not.” Bessie got up from her seat and walked over to Camila, taking the baby doll lemon dress out of Camila’s hands. Lowering her glasses onto the tip of her nose, she took a closer look. “How many were you supposed to cast off?”

“Three.”

“But then this is correct, isn’t it?”

“I suppose,” Camila sighed, taking hold of the dress when Bessie gave it back to her.

“Besides, your granddaughter won’t notice if you did the sleeves wrong.”

Camila looked right up at Bessie with narrowed eyes. “So, you admit I made a mistake?”

“No, I just pointed out that if you did, your granddaughter would hardly see it.” Bessie turned back around to go sit down in her chair, meeting Y/N’s eyes and making a grimace as to say that whatever Camila had just knitted, couldn’t have been correct. She sat back down again as Y/N gathered all the cups and the biscuit tray, carrying it all back inside to the kitchen where she put it in the dishwasher.

“Bye, darling,” Barb smiled as she walked past the kitchen. “Your cardigan’s looking wonderful.”

“Thank you, Barbara. See ya,” Y/N smiled, walking upstairs to put on her green woollen jumper. It was getting rather cold out as evening approached, and though Y/N had just finished knitting her summer project, it wasn’t hers to wear. Looking out the window, she saw the glass with a bouquet of dead flowers still standing in her windowsill. She didn’t have the heart to throw it away since doing so would be like binning the last piece of this summer she still had left. Forcing herself to look away, Y/N blinked away the stinging in her eyes as she started walking back down the stairs and the back garden.

All the other ladies had gone, meaning that it was just Y/N and Bessie left. Bessie still sat knitting, smiling at Y/N as she stepped outside.

“Want me to make another brew?” Y/N asked, adjusting her white summer dress under her oversized jumper.

“No, me lover, that’s quite alright. Thank you, though.”

Y/N smiled, sitting back down in her seat and picking up the cardigan. She was picking at some threads that were poking out, some of the many flaws in her first ever knitting project, when Bessie put her vest down and glanced over at her. Y/N looked back at her, raising her eyebrows ever so slightly.

“Is something the matter?” Y/N asked.

“You tell me.”

Y/N huffed, looking back down at her cardigan. “Depends what you’re referring to, I guess.”

Bessie sighed a bit, putting the vest on the table before them. “You haven’t spoken about that chat you had with your mum yesterday.”

Y/N inhaled slowly. “It was a lot to process.”

“We got time.”

Looking up at the older woman again, Y/N was greeted with one of Bessie’s signature warm smiles.

“I told her that I don’t want her, Dad, or Dominic to ever contact me again. She got a bit defensive, but she agreed not to contact me unless necessary.”

Bessie nodded her head slowly. “Do you think she’ll keep that promise?”

“She will, I’m less certain about Dad and Dom.”

Bessie huffed, leaning back against the back of her chair. “That’s men for you, never listen to what a woman has to say.”

“The right ones do.”

Bessie laughed, making Y/N smile a little. “Talking from experience, are you?”

Y/N hoped Bessie couldn’t see her cheeks heat up, but she was sure she noticed, hearing the older woman chuckle heartily before silence settled over them once again.

“You know,” Bessie started, knitting her vest again. “When I was younger, I drew the conclusion that family isn’t always blood and who you’ve spent the most time with. No, family is who makes you feel at home, who makes you feel safe, and loved.”

Y/N looked over at Bessie, biting her bottom lip as it threatened to wobble again.

“Family is who you make it. You don’t owe your parents anything. They might’ve brought you into this world, but they didn’t give you life, you did that yourself. When you decided to leave them, when you came here, when you applied for your UCAT, when you met Harry and everyone else. That’s life. You chose life.”

Y/N couldn’t help her smile, her sight getting blurrier with each passing second, but she didn’t really care just then.

“I’m so proud of you for doing that. It takes a lot of courage to follow your dreams, especially when the environment around you tells you that said dreams aren’t worth it,” Bessie said. “But, you have to remember this, they always are. Every dream is worth it. It’s okay to feel sad after making the right decision.”

A sob escaped Y/N’s lips and Bessie looked up at once, putting the vest away to focus her attention on Y/N who was now full on crying. She hadn’t known how much she needed to hear those words till Bessie finally said them. Holding onto Bessie’s hand for dear life, Y/N looked into the innkeeper’s eyes, trying to smile again, but she couldn’t.

“Bessie, thank you,” Y/N said between sobs. “Truly, thank you so much.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N. I love you; I love how far you’ve come.”

Y/N brought a hand up to her mouth, stopping a loud sob from coming out from between her lips. “I don’t know what to do now,” she said once she had calmed down a little. “I don’t know where to go, what to do, how I’m gonna handle University when the time comes. Like, I’ll be 26 by that time and everyone who’s starting will be almost ten years younger than me. It feels like everyone’s sprinted this marathon since forever, and I’ve fallen over and struggled to get up so many times that I’ve fallen behind. I don’t know how I’m gonna get back into the race, you know? I can’t win.”

Bessie pondered over Y/N’s words, watching her intently as she wiped more tears away from her face. “You can still win, Y/N. And even if you don’t win, you still did everything you could, and that’s just as good as winning, is it not?”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders, looking down at her and Bessie’s joined hands.

“Life doesn’t wait for you. It doesn’t force you to do anything, it just drags you along on a journey and it’s your responsibility to do what you want with your time on earth. You are still so young, you have so much time to do whatever you wanna do. If you lost your youth to controlling parents, abuse, a partner you thought truly loved you but didn’t, if you lost your youth to mental illness, your life isn’t over. There’s no deadline for anything like that in life. If you wanna go to uni now, five-none years after everyone else you know went to uni, then that’s what you’re gonna do. Who says you have to be a certain age, or at a certain stage in your life, or be satisfied with how you look, act, feel, before doing something that ultimately will make you happy? That will make your life worth living? No, life isn’t gonna wait for you to catch up, no one will, but it’s gonna give you opportunities to right your wrongs, to do what will bring you happiness. There’s no deadline, you still have time.”

Y/N met Bessie’s eyes again and the older woman smiled at her, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

“All the time in the world,” Bessie said.

“I just don’t know what to do. I just… this feels like home, but after everything that happened last Friday, I’m not sure people want me here.”

“Oh, we do,” Bessie said firmly. “People might not have been happy with you, but they won’t love you any less. This is still your home, Y/N.”

Y/N smiled.

“We are your family now, Y/N. If you need a mum, I’ll be your bloody mum.”

Y/N laughed, leaning forward and bringing Bessie into a hug. Out of everything she had done in the last few days, this was definitely a moment Y/N thought she would cherish forever. This entire summer, Bessie had stood by her. No matter what, Bessie had been beside Y/N, ready to help whenever she needed guidance, and Y/N was unsure if she had ever met someone so willing to love as Bessie. She clung a little tighter onto Bessie, feeling another tear roll down her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, darling,” Bessie said, a smile in her voice. “Now, all you need to do is revise for the UCAT and give that cardigan to its rightful owner, eh?”

Y/N therefore took the cardigan with her up to her room and sat down by her desk. Though she was sure Harry was home, she was unsure if she’d have the courage to actually knock on the door and give it to him. It’d be better if she just left it there for him, though she knew that would also just look very weird. After everything, she had to face Harry, she was just unsure of how it was all going to play out. It took her a while to find the right words, and once she was done with her final draft letter, she put it on the desk beside the pile of disqualified letters, getting up to find her things and get ready for the trip to the lighthouse. With her stomach hurting from nerves, she put the cardigan in the tote bag, struggling to fit it as she reached for the desk, picking up the letter and shoving it into the tote bag.

With her tote bag on her shoulder, she started on her walk to the lighthouse. She had no idea what Harry would say when she showed up, if he would even allow her to enter his cottage at all. The three days that had passed since the end of summer party felt like ten years each, time had never moved slower. Y/N had waited for this moment for a while now. She had tried to gather the courage she would need for this. But, she kept telling herself this, if she managed to meet her mum and confront her about everything and told her, her dad, and Dominic to stay away from her, then she could walk to Clodgy Point and hand Harry a bloody cardigan. How hard could it be?

However, with each step she took that led her closer to the lighthouse, Y/N felt almost just as anxious, if not worse, than when she walked to meet her mother. There was something about facing Harry after everything that made her mouth dry up. She had absolutely no idea if he would want to see her again after everything, if he could even bear the sight of her after all she put his family and loved ones through. Not only had her father showed up to Jessa’s farm, but Harry had also been violently slammed against his own car and gone into hypo not long after. The mess that had been last Friday had made them both go through emotions neither thought would be possible to endure at once and during one single evening. She wondered if Harry knew she had been to the lighthouse and done the weather reports that night and the following morning.

Walking along Fore Street, Y/N gazed into the shops on either side of the pedestrian street, taking in life in St Ives as she didn’t know what would happen after today. She was originally set to check out of the Inn that morning, August 10th, but Bessie told her it would be alright if she wanted to leave by train later that day. Y/N didn’t know yet where she wanted to go or how far that would be, but all she knew was that she had to be in Plymouth on September 10th to take the UCAT. Besides that, her future looked to be very blurry. It all depended on what happened when she arrived at the lighthouse.

But as she strolled up the hill to Clodgy Point, she didn’t see Harry’s yellow van. Though this was weird at first, she tried to tell herself that he was still home. There hadn’t been a single time that summer when she’d shown up to Harry’s cottage and he hadn’t been there. He was always there.

Knocking on the door though, left Y/N standing there in silence for a single minute, the wild wind, seagulls, and sun overhead the only things keeping her company. She knew it was none of her business looking through the windows into his cottage, but she had to know if he was just ignoring her or if he really wasn’t there. She walked to the side of the house, looking in through the window just beside his bed, the one placed right beside the dining table. The place was empty. Sighing, she walked back over to the door and took her tote bag off her shoulder. She placed it in front of the door, hoping the wind wouldn’t blow it away, and then she got up and walked back the way she came.

It had been stupid to go there in the first place. Of course he wouldn’t be completely by himself after the hypo he had just a few days ago. His family and loved ones would most likely not allow him to be anywhere out of sight till they knew he was alright. Y/N refused to let her eyes start to sting again even though she could feel it coming on. The last few days she had been crying more than she ever had before. She never used to be a big crier, but something about being in St Ives and something about everything, the atmosphere and everyone in this town made her feel much more than before. It made her feel. It made her want.

Returning to the Inn, it was getting much darker out and Cornwall would soon be embraced once again by night. Y/N tried to look for Bessie inside, but the older woman must’ve gone home for a bit because she was nowhere to be seen. Y/N walked back up the steps and to her room, rummaging through her purse for her keys for what could be the last time. It seemed to take more time than usual and she groaned at herself, finding it harder to look for anything when it was so dark everywhere. The dim lighting of the stairs made her stop for a second. Taking a second to just narrow her eyes and get a closer look, Y/N was suddenly able to make out what it was she was seeing.

Bluebells, sea pinks, and hedgerow cranesbills laid neatly right before the door to her room. And though it looked almost just like the bouquets he had made her earlier, this one was almost entirely purple and made out of bellflowers. Y/N reached for it, picking it up and bringing it closer to her face, running her fingers over the soft petals gently as she felt her heart begin to pick up speed. It was as she smelled the flowers that she realised what this meant. Her eyes shot up and she just stared straight ahead at her door as she started breathing fast. He had been here. Harry had stopped by while she was walking to the lighthouse, dropping off the bouquet.

There was no time for hesitation as Y/N shot up into a standing position, running downstairs just as Bessie came back to the Inn.

“Oh! Hello, dear-“

“-Harry’s been here?” Y/N panted, standing in the doorway with the bouquet still in her hand.

Bessie’s eyes fell to the colourful flowers before she met Y/N’s eyes again. “He has.”

“When? Was it long ago?”

“Can’t remember, my darling, I just remember seeing his yellow car outside and there he was.” Bessie tutted softly. “It’s about to fall to pieces, that car of his.”

“You didn’t talk to him?”

A small smile spread out over Bessie’s lips as if she understood exactly what was going on. “I did.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows impatiently. “And?!”

“He asked where you were.”

Y/N waved her hands frantically to get Bessie to tell her what she’d told him in return.

“Told him you’d gone to the lighthouse to find him.”

Y/N ran a hand over her face, inhaling hugely. “Alright. Okay. Deep breaths.”

Bessie watched the younger woman with amusement, cocking her head a little to the side as a knowing smile spread out over her face.

“I… I need to leave. I need to go,” Y/N said. “If he shows up again, tell him I’ll wait.” She ran over to the other side of the street as the sky overhead was a slight darkening blue, tinges of purple and pink along the horizon. She stopped as she got a glimpse of the lighthouse, finally seeing the light. A light that would guide her where she needed to be. And with that, Y/N set off. By Porthminster beach, through Fore Street, flying past slow walkers, running straight for Clodgy lighthouse. She felt the bouquet fall apart, leaving flowers along her path through St Ives in a desperate attempt to get to Harry. To get where she needed and where she was supposed to be.

Though it had been a trek walking up the stone path before, Y/N ran up it with ease this time around. She could see the lighthouse blinking its distinct pattern, could make out some light within the cottage along with the yellow van. A breath left her and her heart began to soar, that shred of hope that had been born from seeing the bouquet in the hotel blossomed. Out of breath and probably very sweaty, Y/N knocked on the door of the cottage. However, like last time, no one opened. So, Y/N tried again, but same luck this time around. She walked out onto the moors and squinted her eyes, trying to look about to see if she could make out Harry’s figure.

“Harry!” she shouted, whipping her head around in different directions to see where he was. “Harry!” She ran beyond the cottage, trying to make out anything, anything at all, against the flat moors. “Where are you?!”

“Y/N!”

It came from overhead. As if an angel was flying just high enough for the wind to carry some of his voice, but low enough so that Y/N could hear him clearly. Turning around, Y/N was sure she was seeing just that, an angel. Harry was standing on the gallery deck of the lighthouse, looking down at her. At the sight of him, Y/N felt an intense tingle go through her entire body. It was an overwhelming sort of happiness, unlike anything she’d ever felt before, and it surrounded her, made the air around her static with anticipation and adoration. The sky behind him was darkening so she couldn’t make out his face, but she would be able to do just that soon enough.

Smiling to herself, she ran for the door. She pulled it open and let it slam behind her as she ran up the steps. Past the office, past the bedroom, past everything, till she made it to the very top. Panting and thighs burning, she opened the door on the topmost floor. The ladder to the bell room stood to her right, but she turned left and walked out onto the gallery deck where she’d seen Harry.

There he stood, right under the blinking light. He was looking at her with his lips slightly parted, hair as unkempt as usual, and a look of relief and shock on his face. They were left there just staring at each other for a little while, neither of them able to voice what they had been thinking about for the last three days. Everything from her jumping out of the car to get him, to helping him with his hypo, to doing the weather report, to talking to her mum, and the cardigan. The cardigan. Y/N was ashamed of how long it had taken her to notice it, she blamed the darkening sky above them.

Harry was wearing the colourful square cardigan she had knitted him and placed in front of his door. The one she had put there not even an hour earlier along with her note. Biting her lips together, she let her eyes wander his body. She took in the Elton John tee shirt he was wearing and the loose light washed denim jeans along with his black Vans. But her eyes lingered on what he was holding in his hand. Her heart skipped a beat and her breath halted. Their eyes met again, and Harry’s jaw was now working, trying to find the right words as he so rarely did.

“What’s that?” she asked him in a small voice, gesturing at his hand.

He looked down at it before looking up at her again, holding it up for her to see. A book. And not just any book. Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf. Her favourite book by her favourite author. The one she had been reading to him in the field beside the lighthouse all summer. Her eyes began to sting again and she wondered once again how many times she would find herself crying in the span of just a couple of days.

“I, uhm…” He looked at it, opening it on the page where he rested his finger. “I just got to this bit right here- I mean, the whole book is rather confusing ‘cause of the whole stream of consciousness thing going on, but…” He pointed a finger at the line he’d been reading. “This right here made sense. Very much.”

The light from the lighthouse continued to shine its pattern across the coast before and around them, making some of Harry temporarily light up. It just strengthened her argument from before, that he was an angel.

“’Nothing is so strange when one is in love,’” Harry said.

“’As the complete indifference of other people,’” Y/N finished and Harry looked up at once, taken aback by her interruption but not at all offended.

He nodded his head slowly. “Yeah.” A few moments passed before he said, with such a soft voice it felt like a caress against Y/N’s skin, “I dunno what’s really going on in that book, to be fair, but… but I understood that. That line made sense.”

“It’s not the best book to start off on if you’re getting into Woolf’s work.”

“Yeah, alright, but I had to, didn’t I?”

“Did you?”

“Yeah, ‘cause it’s your favourite. It-“ He stopped himself, swallowing thickly as he shut the book again and kept eye contact with her. “It was a piece of you. I…” He inhaled slowly. “I didn’t know when I’d see you next- if I ever would again, and… Mrs Dalloway and Woolf just… It reminded me of you. It was a piece of you.”

Y/N wanted to walk closer to him.

“It was all those moments spent out in the field listening to you read it out loud, or just watching you while you did so. I…” He shrugged. “I might not know what’s going on in the book, but I don’t really give a fuck ‘cause if reading it will somehow bring me back to that and back to you, then I’ll bloody well do it.”

Her eyes fell to the book, biting her lips together before glancing up into his eyes again.

“I just wanted a moment. Whatever moment. A single moment with you. I’ve been so… so desperate these last few days,” he said, letting go of a small, but shaky breath. “I just wanted to be. Wanted to be with you. In whatever form, whatever I could get. Just be. Just exist in a place, in a memory, where I was in your presence.”

“Harry-“

“-And if you’re here to say goodbye… I just need this one. This moment. I just need to take it in. I just need to live with you for some seconds.”

Her lips fell apart even more and she furrowed her brow slightly. “Did you not read the letter I left with the cardigan?”

Harry pulled the book up again, tapping his finger against something resting between the cover and the first page. Was he using it as a bookmark?

“So, you read it?”

“’I’ve been knitting this all summer, it looked more like something that would fit you than me. The colours reminded me of you and how you made me feel. Love, Y/N.’”

Ignoring the fact that he had memorised the letter, she groaned slightly, scratching at her neck as she kept her eyes on the letter.

“Well… then I put one of the draft letters with the cardigan.”

Harry frowned.

“I didn’t know what I wanted to say to you, I wrote like 500 draft letters before I actually landed on something like ‘I’ll be at the Inn, please come see me’, but it doesn’t seem like I put that one in there.”

“No,” he said quickly. “You didn’t.”

“But then I saw the bouquet outside my door and Bessie said you’d dropped by. And since we hadn’t talked in days, I didn’t know what you thought of me and everything that had happened.”

“Grace told me. Dax, too.”

She just looked at him.

“Gracie told me you arrived with blood on your elbow and knee, that you helped wake me up, and Dax…” Harry sighed. “Well, he said he knew there was something going on, but he realised that, though we had been faking it, he knew then, just by watching you fuss over me and run for the lighthouse, that you actually cared about me. And he knows me well enough to just see it plainly on me that I have feelings for you, too.”

Y/N didn’t really know what to say. It was true. She cared about him. So very much. But she hadn’t thought about how it would look to Grace and Dax who had, mere hours before, heard that Harry and Y/N’s relationship had been a lie since the start.

“I… Y/N, I wanted to come to the Inn. I’ve wanted to see you ever since Friday, but Jessa wouldn’t let me out of sight and told me to rest for at least a day. And then, on Sunday, I went to the Inn but Bessie said you were out. So… I tried again today, but I wanted to make sure you knew I’d been by in case you were out again, so I left the bouquet.” His eyes fell to her hand, a small smile on his lips. “With bellflowers.”

When Y/N looked down onto her hand again where there had once been a beautiful bouquet. She remembered how she had felt flower upon flower split from between her fingers as she ran for the lighthouse, they were strewn along the path up to the lighthouse now. There was only a single one left in her hand. A bellflower.

“And I made you that cardigan,” Y/N said, looking up at him again. “It’s not perfect. There some faults here and there, a few holes, it’s a bit fucked-“

“-I don’t care,” Harry blurted out. “I like that it’s a bit fucked. I like when you can see the progress, when you can tell that someone’s struggled, but it’s turned out alright. I love it.”

Y/N couldn’t help her smile. She looked down at the flower in her hand, feeling herself clutch it a little tighter, not wanting to let it go.

“Do you…” Harry trailed off, watching her as she met his eyes again. “No, forget it.”

“No, what?”

“It’s stupid, really-“

“-Nothing’s ever stupid, Harry, what’s on your mind?”

“Well…” He shrugged his shoulders, looking down at the bellflower in her hands. “Do you remember when we were on the beach and we talked about your favourite books and started to discuss whether or not destiny is real?”

There was no hesitation before Y/N nodded, remembering every single moment of this past summer in vivid detail.

“You said you believe balance and energy, that you get what you deserve based on what you’ve done, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And I believe that the universe brings us someplace or something ‘cause it’s already got this perfectly sculptured plan for us, where we’re supposed to end up.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve thought about that conversation these past few days, ‘cause…” He thought for a few seconds, finding his words. “I think we got what we deserved.”

Y/N frowned. “What do you mean?”

“We lied to everyone. We lied to people we love, to ourselves, and… the universe didn’t want us to lie. It didn’t want us to fake it.”

She tightened her hold on the bellflower, more wind blowing past them where they stood at the top of the lighthouse, the lamp shining its familiar sequence above them.

“Y/N, we’ve done it all wrong. We got what we deserved ‘cause we didn’t do it right.”

“What are you saying?”

“Our theories? You with your energy and balance and me with destiny? It’s all connected, don’t you understand?”

She just looked at him, too awestruck to think clearly.

“You’re right, we did the universe wrong so it got back at us by having our worlds fall apart around us last Friday. And destiny… well, we met and we did it wrong.”

“Then what would’ve been the right way?”

“To never have initiated the fake relationship at all. We should never have done it.”

A small pang of hurt erupted in Y/N’s chest and she furrowed her brows slightly. “Then we wouldn’t have really met each other, though.”

“But we would’ve. I ran into you; I shouldn’t have asked you to be my fake girlfriend. If I had just asked you out…” Harry let out a breathy chuckle. “Who the fuck am I kidding? I wouldn’t have done that; I was way too nervous around you then.”

Y/N felt her cheeks heat up and she hoped Harry couldn’t tell how flustered she was.

“It was wrong of us to do it.”

“It wasn’t.”

“But it was, Y/N,” Harry said. “’Cause… it was never fake. Not really. We pretended to be a couple, but… it was never fake, not for me. My feelings for you, they’re not, and have never been, fake or a lie.” He took a small step forward, lips parted for a moment before he spoke again. “Every time I’ve touched you, or done something affectionate, or acted like someone who might be in love with you, it’s because I was. I am.”

A breath left her lips and her heart beat out of her chest, a rush of ecstasy flowing through her veins so quickly it made her dizzy with happiness.

“I’m in love with you. I… I’m so immeasurably in love with you, Y/N, that every moment without you, or any moment when I don’t have you close to some capacity, is insignificant. Woolf is right about that. Everything is much more important, I feel so much more than I did before you, all my senses are heightened, but I feel the most for you. It’s been like that for a while now.”

Y/N walked over to him, eyes on his before she looked down at the bellflower between them. “I didn’t…” She bit her lip for a second. “I didn’t really know what love was till I came to St Ives. I knew what it was to kind of love someone, I know that… to some degree I love my mum. I cared about Dominic, and I even loved Dad when I was little.” She glanced up again. “But I’ve never felt love like this. I’ve never been on the receiving end, never loved as much as I’ve done this summer. I feel so full of it. You know when you fill a bucket or a glass or anything with water, and the second it pours over the brim, the water envelopes it? That’s how this summer has felt.”

Harry smiled a little, his right dimple showing.

“You showed me what it means to love and be loved in return, that is what we’re put on this planet to do. What is life if you’re not loved and you don’t love?”

He just looked at her, eyes tracing her face and taking in each one of her features.

“It was never fake, Harry. Never.” The smile on his face disappeared and a shaky breath slipped from between his lips. “I’ve been falling in love with you all summer. I didn’t even realise how hard and fast it had happened till you kissed me at Porthgwidden Beach,” she said. “Even… Even if you kissed me just for show.”

Harry closed his eyes and shook his head quickly before he looked at her again, not sure if he’d heard her correctly. “What?”

“You kissed me-“ She stopped herself, tilting her head at him. “You kissed me to show off that we were a couple… right?”

“No, I didn’t,” he said. “Didn’t you hear what I just said? Everything I’ve ever done has never been for show. Nothing was a lie. I wanted to kiss you at Porthgwidden. I had wanted to kiss you for a while.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Y/N, I always want to kiss you,” Harry admitted. “Always.”

She couldn’t help her slight smile. “Nothing was for show?”

“Nothing.”

“Everything was real?”

He looked down, finger tracing the petals of the bellflower in her hand. “We’re real, flower. Our feelings are real.”

“Then… if you always want to kiss me,” Y/N said, voice low and filled with purpose. He looked up at her quickly. “Why aren’t you kissing me right now?”

Another breath left Harry’s lips and he ended up just staring at her. The entire summer flashed before them as their eyes drifted from each other’s eyes to their lips and back up again. Them running into one another, going to Grace’s birthday, the kamayan on the beach, and everything that followed. Her reading to him in the grass, looking up every now and again to catch him watching her, a tinge of pink on his cheekbones as he looked away, doing his best to hide his smile which in turn made it impossible for Y/N to hide hers. Everything passed between them in those seconds where Y/N waited for him to kiss her. It was a whole summer of miscommunication, wrong-doings, and making up for mistakes, everything had come to this.

Harry raised his hand, slowly sliding his thumb over her cheek before he settled his fingers at the nape of her neck. They leaned into one another, resting their foreheads together and for a little moment, they just stood there. She let him hold onto her as she moved to slide her hands up his back, still holding onto the bellflower. Y/N glanced upward, the lamp of the lighthouse turning on. Seeing the light, she felt peace run through her. This was exactly where she was supposed to be.

Looking back at Harry, her eyes lingered on his lips before she met his eyes again. With that, he leaned in, and pressed his lips softly against hers. The light overhead turned on again and Y/N knew, without a shadow of a doubt, this was home. The taste of Harry’s lips, his hands on her neck and hips, his breath against her cheek; just having him in her presence, that was where she belonged.

They detached their lips for a short second, eyes meeting. “You’re staying?” he asked.

“I’m staying,” she answered. “If you want me to.”

There was a slight pause where they just looked at one another. She saw a smile form on Harry’s lips before he leaned in again, kissing her more fiercely. She felt his smile against her lips, making her smile back, unable to help herself. Harry tried to widen their lips so his tongue could trace hers, but their smiles were too wide, and their teeth ended up sliding against one another, making Y/N laugh and Harry giggle. They opened their eyes again, just looking at one another and smiling until they calmed down, kissing one another again.

This time, Harry managed to open their mouths in unison, tongues gliding against one another, and they were finally able to taste one another again. Nothing else mattered as they drew out the kiss, letting the heavenly rush that was going through their bodies in that moment take over completely. They were buzzing with electricity, shining like a star where they stood joined together. Y/N was sure that the lamp inside the lighthouse could go out, and her and Harry would light up the entire world and guide everyone who needed help, home.

She slung her arm around his neck, the hand clutching the bellflower rested on his shoulder and they deepened the kiss. It was the happiest moment of her life, standing there, at the top of the lighthouse, with Harry. There would be nothing like this ever. Everything had led to this. It was as Harry had said, everything else was so much more colourful now, but so insignificant in comparison to him, to this. How had she ever thought she’d live a life without him in it?

“You can spend the night,” Harry said once they had regained their breaths. “We don’t have to do anything; I just want you to stay here with me.”

She smiled at him, letting go of a breathy chuckle. “I’ll stay the night.”

He smiled back, kissing her temple. “I just want you as close as possible.”

She turned her face and pressed her lips against his again, closing her eyes and melting into him again. He gripped her face gently, pulling her to him and moaning softly against her, his wet lips making a hot shiver run up her spine that absolutely no one but Harry had been able to conjure. An early autumnal wind blew past them and though it was a cold breeze, Y/N felt herself radiate warmth. They giggled against one another when they realised they had completely forgotten where they were, the plans from earlier about going downstairs.

Harry took Y/N’s hand and the two walked back down the stairs, Harry carrying Mrs Dalloway and Y/N the bellflower. Once they reached the cottage, Y/N walked straight over to the kitchen and found a small glass she could put the flower in, and once it was filled with some water, she put it on the dining table, smiling a little at it. Harry walked over and sat down in the windowsill Y/N had spent countless hours studying for her UCAT, he watched her as she marvelled at the bellflower, studying it in the dim light of the cottage.

“What’ve you been up to the past few days?” Harry asked as Y/N sat down by the dining table.

“Been knitting that,” she said, nodding in the direction of the cardigan Harry was still wearing. “And I had a chat with Mum.”

Harry paused for a few seconds, letting the words Y/N had just uttered sink in. “You… You talked?”

“Yeah.”

“Did your parents and-“ Harry made a grimace as if saying the name made him ill. “Dominic show up unannounced again?”

Y/N tried not to smile. “No, I asked Mum to meet me.”

“Oh.” Harry nodded his head some, letting the words sink in. “Alright.”

“I just wanted to make it very clear that I don’t want anything to do with them again. Told her that if they came close to me or tried to meet me without letting me know and talking to me beforehand, I’ll file a restraining order or summat like that. I dunno how to do it or if the situation is, like, qualified for one-“

“-Jo will help. They work for a law firm; they’ll know what to do.”

“I’d appreciate that very much.” She sighed. “If Jo and the rest of St Ives will ever truly forgive what we did.”

Harry’s eyes fell to his hands in his lap, letting some silence settle between them before he said, “Yeah, Jessa wasn’t impressed.”

There had not been a moment prior to this when Y/N had felt angrier and more ashamed of herself. Out of everyone she had met in her life up until that point, and probably forever, Jessa was one of the most accepting and kindest people she had ever met. The fact that she had not only disappointed Jessa but also hurt her, made Y/N so thoroughly sad that it was hard not to scream out in anger.

“Did she…” Y/N trailed off, gesturing with her hands as Harry looked up at her again. “Did she talk to you about everything when you stayed at the farm with them that day after your hypo?”

Harry shook his head. “No. She barely spent any time with me, just told Grace to keep me company while she tended to the farm. She didn’t want to let me be alone, though. She can be mad at me, but she still can’t be that mad, you know what I mean?” Harry chuckled some. “Got the biggest heart out of anyone I know, Jessa does.”

Y/N smiled a little at that. “She had to know you’d be alright.”

“I heard you went up to the lighthouse to do the weather reports.”

She bit her lips together, remembering that night in vivid detail.

“Thank you,” he said. “Thank you so much for that.”

“You couldn’t do them, and someone had to.”

Harry chuckled. “You’re making it sound like it was dreadful.”

“It was!” He laughed even more at her exclamation. “I was proper freaking out!”

“But you did an amazing job! Everything you’ve written down is correct and I can guess then that your report was as well.”

She smiled. “I hope so.”

Harry smiled back, getting up to take the cardigan off and put it on a hanger by his dresser.

“Who did it after I left? I went back to the Inn after the 9am one.”

“Dax told me you were at the lighthouse and when he got your text saying you’d be leaving, he told me, I called Trinity House, and another lighthouse keeper off-duty came and stepped in for the day.”

“Okay, good,” Y/N said. “I was scared I just left it in the hands of no one, but I didn’t know what to do.”

“You did plenty. Thank you, genuinely.” Harry looked at the clock on the wall, letting go of a long sigh before he walked over to the lamp by his sofa, turning it off.

“I…” Y/N said, cracking the knuckle of her thumb as nervousness suddenly flooded her. She had thought about this a fair amount since the party last Friday and she felt like it had to be addressed. “The piano piece you played at the end of summer party,” Y/N started, making Harry look over at her. “It was beautiful.”

“You mean your song?”

Y/N felt lightheaded at him addressing it like that.

“It kinda just came to me throughout the summer. The first bit was just us laying in the grass and as it picks up you can kinda tell how much you begin to mean to me,” he explained. “It’s nostalgic, it’s what I was going for anyway. You don’t really know if you should be happy or sad, ‘cause the memories make you feel both at the same time.” He walked over to the foyer and locked the front door, turning the lights off, closing the door leading out there, separating them from the entrance. “Played it for Grace a couple of times and I was gonna play it for you, but… well, then everything went to shit, didn’t it?”

Y/N let out a small chuckle, looking down at her hands. “Yeah, everything fell apart all at once.”

“It did,” he agreed, turning a lamp on top of his dresser off. “But we made it, didn’t we?”

She smiled at that.

Harry paused for few seconds, looking out through the major window at the far-end wall where he had just been seated, furrowing his brows as he thought. It was as if he had just remembered something, biting his lips together as his eyes fell to the floor again. Not knowing what was on his mind, Y/N kept her mouth shut.

“I… I can’t remember much from last Friday,” he confessed, looking back up through the window. “It’s not even a blur, it’s just… it’s not there.”

Y/N just looked at him.

“Usually what happens when my blood sugar’s low. I get dizzy, start to sweat and I shake, and I’ll be very irritable, the slightest thing will tick me off.” Harry walked over to the dining table, sitting down next to Y/N. “And, if I go into a hypo, I won’t remember the hypo, or most of the moments leading up to it. I’ll just slowly jolt out of it and realise what’s happening.”

She nodded, eyes falling to his hands that were folded together on the table before him.

“I remember your family arriving and I remember being scared out of my bloody mind when I realised what was going on- when you and Bessie fucked out of the barn. I knew something was up. I kind of had a hunch as to what it was, but… I didn’t want to believe it. It couldn’t be happening, it just couldn’t.”

She wanted to reach for his hand.

“I didn’t even know who they were, you hadn’t shown me any pictures of them, so I couldn’t tell from just looking at them, but I knew. An old married pair and that… that ruddy tosser – don’t even wanna say his name – came out of that car, and I just knew. I couldn’t let you go with them.”

“I’m sorry-“

“-No,” Harry stopped her. “No, I get why you did. Didn’t wanna cause a scene, and all that.”

She nodded. “Thought it’d be better if I went, didn’t want to fight with them in front of everyone.”

Harry looked up at her. “You fought with them?”

“Not a physical fight.”

“A man can only dream.”

She laughed.

“You should’ve levelled He Who Must Not Be Named while you still had the chance.”

She grinned at him. “When I become a dentist and he’s my patient, I’ll pull all his teeth out without any anaesthetics. How ‘bout that?”

Harry smiled back. “That’ll be a right laugh.”

She giggled, looking down at his hands again.

“What happened in the car then? You had an argument?”

Biting at her bottom lip, Y/N thought about the entire car incident before looking up into Harry’s eyes again. “I told them I wouldn’t come back to Hampshire, that I wouldn’t move in with Dominic, that-“

“-They wanted you to move in with that grotesque git?!” Harry sounded flabbergasted.

She smiled a little again. “Yes, well, Mum and Dad don’t really care what I think as long as it looks good, you know.”

Harry nodded, motioning for her to continue on explaining.

“And then I told them I was doing a UCAT exam. None of them believed it or wanted me to take it, and that’s when Gracie called,” Y/N explained. “I asked Dad to stop the car so I could go back, but he wouldn’t let me out. I kind of realised that nothing would stop him. So, when I felt him stepping on the break before he was about to turn, I told them not to follow me, and I jumped out of the car.”

Harry stared at her, mouth hanging open, blinking multiple times as if he was picturing the entire thing unfold. “You…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “You jumped out of their car?”

“To get to you, yeah.”

A small breath left his lips and he continued to just look, a sort of appreciation on his face that made Y/N warm with pleasure. Again, she felt an urge to reach for his hand and hold onto him, to check if he was okay. Reliving those memories in her head and talking about them, made her also revisit the feelings of dread at the news of Harry’s hypo. Just wanting to get to him, just wanting to see he was alright.

“You’re bloody mad,” he said, a breathy chuckle following his utterance. “Brilliant, but out-of-your-mind mad at the same time.”

Y/N laughed again, smiling at Harry. “Did you feel the hypo coming on?”

“Yeah,” Harry answered, scratching at his jaw as his eyes fell on the dark field beyond the window beside the kitchen table. “Yeah, I usually feel them. This time around there was so much happening all at once, I didn’t really feel it till it happened. I’m usually very good at regulating my blood sugar, not had a shock like that in years.”

She leaned her elbows on the table, taking a grip of her upper arms as she watched him talk.

“I used to not want to take my insulin pens out in front of people after we had a meal out or stuff like that, it used to make me feel very vulnerable. I used to feel exposed, as if I was showing people a secret of mine that I didn’t want them in on. It was the same when I was overweight, I didn’t wear revealing or tight-fitted clothes ‘cause I didn’t want people to think I was bigger, you know what I mean? The better I could hide it from everyone else, the easier I could hide it from myself. So, I had a few hypos when I was younger.”

Two lines appeared between his brows as he thought, Y/N wanted to reach over and stroke them away.

“I think I was just so used to hiding parts of myself – big parts – that made it almost instinctive, hiding the fact that I was diabetic. I thought there was something wrong with me at first, ‘cause this would change my entire life, you know?” He let out a chuckle. “But then I went to this event thingy where I met other kids with diabetes, and I realised that it was much more common than I’d ever thought before. Not only that, but it had been stupid of me to ever hide it, to be ashamed of it. When you’re a kid, all you want is to fit in. You don’t wanna stick out or give anyone a reason to pick on you in any way. All the bullying before had really made an impact, I never wanted to experience it again, you know?” He sighed. “Some people will bully you for anything, especially those things you cannot help.”

Y/N furrowed her brows as she listened to him.

“But I was surrounded by people who made me realise that life is too short to be embarrassed, especially about things you cannot change. People who judge others for what they choose to do with their lives, are often the ones who still struggle to know who they are themselves, constantly critiquing others for their quirks and wrong-doings as if it’ll erase their own.”

Y/N smiled a little, nodding her head. “Yeah, my thighs have always been bigger,” she said. “I used to hate them ‘cause Mum would point them out and tell me I’d be wise to lose weight, but-“ Y/N shrugged. “-I like the way they jiggle when I walk, and though thigh chafing is an absolute pain, I still find them cute. It took me some time to realise that, of course. Especially when the environment around me keeps telling me they are. But I couldn’t care less, to be fair. Though it doesn’t feel like it at times, there are far more important things in life than an insignificant opinion. Big thighs save lives, do they not?”

The frown on Harry’s face has evaporated as Y/N spoke, a soft smile left in its wake. “Too right.”

Y/N smiled back.

“I love your thighs. They just-“ Harry made to reach for them, but stopped himself. Y/N laughed at him as he blinked himself out of some sort of trance.

“They what?”

“They’re pretty.”

Y/N felt her cheeks heat up instantly. No one had ever said that. That they liked her thighs. It only made those butterflies inside Y/N’s tummy flutter their wings even more wildly, not knowing how to properly act around Harry anymore.

“I was about to say something that would be a bit inappropriate,” Harry mumbled.

“What?”

“No, I can’t say. It’ll ruin the mood.”

“Nothing will ever ruin the mood, Harry.”

“Fine,” Harry hissed, inhaling quickly. “I just wanted to say that I really like the feel of them against my cheeks. They’re so soft. So… so soft.”

Her entire body went hot at that, because not only did it take her off guard, but she instantly remembered the feeling of his slight scruff against the inside of her thighs. Just thinking about it made her all dizzy with a need to feel it again. It all came sneaking up on her so suddenly that she was left biting her bottom lip, just looking at Harry as she clambered for things to say.

“See!” Harry exclaimed, chuckling. “Ruined the mood!”

“It just took me by surprise!”

“Right,” he laughed, getting up from the chair.

“I’m sorry for turning the lights out, it’s 9pm and I usually go to bed then. Gotta be up in about five hours.”

“Of course,” Y/N said, getting up. “We’ll… I’ll let you go to bed.”

“You’re not coming to bed?”

She just stared at him for a few moments. “I didn’t want to assume.”

“Assume,” Harry said, walking towards the bathroom.

Y/N laughed, following after him.

The two brushed their teeth together, Y/N using the toothbrush she had used the times before when she’d been there. Turns out, Harry had never thrown it out in case they would find themselves in this position multiple times. They took their time as Y/N ended up laughing at Harry, toothpaste dribbling down his chin. He told her that always happened and Y/N thought this was odd as Harry had a fairly big mouth.

Once again, he lent her a tee shirt. This time around, she only slept in that and her knickers, not really caring that Harry saw her in them as he’d seen her naked before. Harry only wore his boxers, putting on his sleep mask as Y/N picked up Mrs Dalloway where Harry had put it on the bed. Getting under the covers, she opened it on the page where he’d left off, smiling a bit to herself as she read a few passages. With a window open and most of the lights turned out except for the lamp on the nightstand, Harry got into bed with a grunt, pulling the covers over him. He glanced over at her, studying her face as she read, how her eyes flickered from word to word, line to line, paragraph to paragraph.

“Creep,” she mumbled, and Harry chuckled a little, getting into a comfortable position on his side so he could watch her.

“Read to me?” he asked, voice hoarse with on-coming sleep and Y/N found it so endearing and the question so familiar that a tingling sensation ran from her toes all the way up to the hair roots at the top of her head.

And so she did as he asked. She read from Mrs Dalloway, so softly and carefully that she almost lulled herself off to sleep. However, Harry was clinging to consciousness all he could. He would almost drift off but come back with a jolt, eyes wide open as if he tried to fight sleep, watching her lazily and intently, not daring to take his eyes off of her in case she wouldn’t be there when he opened them again. But it was only so much he could do, and, in the end, soft snores emitted from her companion, and Y/N put the book away, turning off the last light before joining Harry under the sheets.

It took her a while to fall asleep as well. She was just left staring at Harry, not really believing that this was all real. After everything that had happened these last few days, this almost seemed like a “too good to be true” ending and Y/N was nervous. She was content just being close to Harry like this, this was where she’d always wanted to be, but there was still a lot that needed to be addressed. The two of them had to talk about what would happen next, she needed to talk to everyone else, and she had to continue revising for the UCAT because it was now under a month till she was supposed to take the exam. The many thoughts and uncertain future kept her up like it had the last few nights, and Y/N wondered when she’d get a good night’s sleep.

She jolted awake some hours later, blinking up at the ceiling as Harry got up on his elbow and reached for his phone, turning the alarm off. Y/N watched as he sat up, rubbing his hands over his face to wake himself up a bit. She knew he couldn’t turn the lights on as it would ruin his night vision which he needed when he was out looking at the Stevenson Screen, so her eyes followed him as he got up from the bed and walked over to put the same outfit on that he’d worn before; his denim shorts and a pink tee shirt over it. He glanced over at Y/N, part of him must’ve realised she was awake.

“Alright?” he asked, voice hoarse from sleep and it made Y/N wake up even more. The sound of it made her all hot.

She nodded her head. “Your alarm clock just woke me up.”

“Yeah, I could tell,” Harry said, smiling a bit. “You jumped a bit.”

She smiled back as Harry gave her a small nod, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb before he walked out of the cottage and toward the lighthouse.

She wasn’t able to fall back asleep, however. She laid awake, looking up at the ceiling overhead and thinking too many thoughts all at once, her head feeling heavier than it had that entire night. It felt like she hadn’t slept at all, yet also had the deepest sleep of her life. After all, she had been with Harry this entire time, the two of them had talked everything out, they were okay, she should’ve had an amazing night sleep. But there was something that nagged at the back of her mind, something she had not been able to stop thinking about since Harry had said it just before they went to sleep.

“I really like the feel of them against my cheeks. They’re so soft. So… so soft.”

Her thighs. Soft. He liked the feel of them against him, around his face, as his head was between her legs. And then Y/N realised why her night had been so confusing and why it had been hard to fall asleep in the first place. Her body hadn’t forgotten those words. It had reacted to them while her brain had been wistfully unaware, letting it create an ache along her skin that only Harry could do something about. Taking a deep breath, Y/N closed her eyes, willing herself to fall asleep again.

Her mind immediately travelled back to the times before when Harry had tasted her. Whenever they had the chance to get intimate, he had always insisted on going down on her, like it was a privilege to, like he needed to. Y/N supposed it made sense, as he had told her how much he enjoyed getting his partner off, that knowing he was getting them off got him off. Seeing how hungry he truly was to make someone squirm and cry out his name, Y/N was always astounded by how true he had been to his word. He loved it. And something about that made Y/N’s entire body heat up. She found it so hot that he would do just about anything for someone else if it meant he’d help them over the edge.

Y/N’s eyes opened again, and she turned so her face was hidden in the pillow, screaming into it at how pathetic she was being. A thought had struck her, because she was sure that if she didn’t get rid of this ache now, it’d be even harder for her to fall back asleep afterward. Laying back down on her back, her eyes found the ceiling again and she rested a hand at the very bottom of her tummy. Harry wouldn’t be back for some time still, if she was quick she’d be done by the time he got back. And if she wasn’t quick and didn’t finish, she’d just excuse herself to the bathroom and finish everything quietly in there. Yes, that was a good plan.

Lifting the band of her knickers, Y/N reached down, hoisting her legs up slightly so it’d be easier for her to access all of herself. She ran a finger from her clit and down to her hole, not surprised to find wetness pooling there already. She smeared it out over herself; flicking her fingers over her bud, down to her hole again, making sure each part of her was covered in it. Continuing on like this until she basically found her core aching with a need for her to finish, Y/N started focusing entirely on her bud.

She thought of Harry. Thought of how he had looked while he ate her out from behind, his green eyes peering over at her as he looked over her shoulder at him. And then next came an image of Harry laying on his back in the bed in the lighthouse bedroom, eyes shut tight and mouth in an O-shape, forehead creasing as Y/N sat down on him, taking him into her. A low and long rumble emitted from him, vibrating through her, and Y/N gasped. He was sweaty, needy, and so incredibly hot where he laid under her, completely at her disposal, that it made the room spin around her. It all happened so quickly and it was so easy for her to almost reach a peak that she found herself inhaling sharply, letting go of a moan she had not meant to let pass her lips.

And it had been the worst possible moment for her to moan as well, because the door into the cottage opened and Harry stepped inside. Y/N stopped herself immediately, laying back down as if nothing had happened. However, by the way Harry quickly closed the door and locked it, looking over at her, she was sure he must’ve either heard or seen something. None of them spoke for a moment as they just looked at one another, at a loss for words. Y/N’s entire body felt like it was burning, but this time it was from embarrassment and not from want. If someone could transport her into an alternate dimension where she had chosen not to masturbate in Harry’s cottage while he was out doing the weather report, that would’ve been nice.

Harry’s mouth opened and closed again as he took his shoes off, still not stepping further into the cottage than the foyer. The silence was deafening, and Y/N wanted to scream. Couldn’t he just say something? He already knew partly what she had been doing according to how pink and flabbergasted he was, the least he could do was say something. Y/N didn’t mind him hearing or seeing her. In fact, she quite liked the idea. But she hadn’t intended to make Harry uncomfortable or make him not want to come back to bed.

“Uhm…” Harry said, clearing his throat as he scratched at the back of his neck. “Do you… I can…” He let his arm fall to his side. “I’ll go sleep in the lighthouse if you want some-“

“-No,” Y/N interrupted him. “I’m sorry, you weren’t supposed… I didn’t mean…” But she, like Harry, didn’t really know what to say. What was the right thing to say in a situation like this?

“I’ll step outside if you want to finish.”

“No, I-“ Y/N couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. This whole thing was so awkward and could’ve been so easily prevented. “-It’s fine. You can come back here to bed if you want to sleep next to me.”

Harry chuckled. “Don’t think there’s anywhere I’d rather be, to be honest.”

Y/N bit her lips together, wiping her fingers on her thigh before she positioned herself on her side again. She watched as Harry too his tee shirt off, biting the inside of his cheek as he thought for a few seconds. He didn’t look at her as he asked, “Did you finish, then?”

Y/N felt like she was on fire again, looking away from Harry as he unbuckled his denim shorts. “No, but it’s-“

“-Would you let me give it a try?”

She blinked, meeting his eyes. “Pardon?”

“Let me try to make you finish.” He got into bed with her, not taking his eyes off of her. “Please?”

A chill went up her spine and her centre began to ache painfully again. Not knowing what she was doing till she was doing it, Y/N nodded. Harry removed the covers from over her and Y/N got cold at once, but the sight of Harry’s eyes travelling down her body made her forget about the lack of the duvet at once. He leaned in, kissing her lips softly. It was a lazy sort of kiss, their mouths opening up for one another slowly and their tongues tangling, their lips getting wet and small whimpers emitted from their mouths as the make out session was dragged out. Suddenly, Harry started kissing down her jaw and neck, over her breasts that were covered in his tee shirt and down her body.

“What were you thinking about while you were getting off?” Harry asked, crawling further down the bed until his face rested just above the place she needed him. She was still on her side, Harry resting his head on her right thigh while she was holding up her left one as not to rest it on his head, she’d suffocate him for sure.

“You,” she answered simply, and Harry groaned against her skin, vibrating through her entire body, and especially her clit that was already sensitive from Y/N’s earlier try.

Harry hooked his fingers around the hem of her underwear, moving his head as to get it off, but he didn’t move it past her knees.

“Don’t move these,” he said, gesturing at her underwear. “Want to feel your thighs tight around me.”

“When you were under me, that first time we had sex,” she continued to explain.

“Hmm,” Harry hummed, kissing her folds that were now exposed to him. Y/N bit her bottom lip, looking down at him where he was almost hidden between her legs. “Liked that?”

“Love it when you’re needy.”

Harry kissed her again, making Y/N gasp slightly. “Then you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve thought about you, too.”

She froze a bit, looking down at him.

“Gotten off to the thought of you. A bit of a sad wank after we shagged in the car. Bloody fucking hell,” Harry said, sounding breathless. “When you wrapped your hand around my throat… so fucking hot.”

Harry didn’t wait for Y/N to say anything however because he ran his tongue over her and she immediately moaned, her left leg shaking as the impact rocked through her. Harry buried himself there between her legs, drawing out his licks over her until he focused solely on her clit. He sucked and Y/N’s eyes fluttered close. It hadn’t been far from climax when she had tried to get herself off earlier, it was embarrassing how quickly she would come now. However, as Harry continued to suck on her and make noises as if he was enjoying himself immensely, having the meal of his life, Y/N didn’t quite care. She was losing her mind as it was, feeling Harry’s tongue and mouth on her again, a sensation she had missed.

She felt Harry’s scruff against her skin and though it tickled some, she welcomed this feeling. She couldn’t come up with a number high enough if she were to say how many times she had thought about being in this position with Harry again. Before Harry, Dominic hadn’t bothered going down on Y/N much, and this hunger of Harry’s, his desire to make her come and scream while she did, was in such drastic contrast that it was almost laughable. Harry would not rest till he knew she had had a mind-blowing orgasm, while Dom had never even asked her if she finished. She often had to do the job herself with him, but with Harry, he was the one doing that for her.

“Oh, God,” she moaned as Harry wrapped his lips around her bud again, sucking her deliciously.

She reached down, taking Harry’s hair in her hands, and biting her lips as she let out another moan. He was working hard on making this one an orgasm to remember, she could feel it. As an electric shock ran through her, making her gasp for breath, her left leg fell onto Harry’s face. About to lift it again, she heard a sound of contentment from down there. Harry liked it. He liked the feeling of her thighs around him, suffocating him almost. Another thrill ran through Y/N at the thought.

“Harry,” she gasped, her grip on his hair tightening, he hummed against her in response.

She clung to him, the feeling of fire hot tension in her core was starting to reach that point where it’d burst, and Y/N was making more and more noise the nearer it drew. Harry held onto her, slipping two fingers into her while he continued to eat her out, looking up every now and again to look at her. At the feeling of his fingers, Y/N gasped again, crying out his name as hot pleasure erupted from her core and all throughout her body, making every cell aware of what was soon to happen.

“Couldn’t sleep just now,” Harry admitted between licks and sucks. “After our chat, all I kept thinking about was the taste of your sweet cunt and your thighs around me as I eat you out.”

Y/N moaned in response, dizzy with approaching bliss.

The wet sucking sounds of Harry’s lips as well as his fingers now, almost echoed throughout the room. Something that before would’ve disgusted her previous partner, but something that made her current partner, and herself, highly aroused. She pulled at his hair as he sucked on her again, picking up the pace of his fingers, and making it hard for Y/N not to cry out yet again. She felt it then. Just there. A little bit out of reach.

“Come on, baby,” Harry said against her, voice husky. “Come loud and nice for me now.”

Y/N gasped again, Harry’s words taking her off guard. However, it didn’t take long after that. He wrapped his lips around her and sucked more forcefully this time around, making the world around Y/N shatter completely. She gasped and moaned and cried out Harry’s name as she came. Fires licking at each of her organs, making it hard for her to breathe as Harry got out from between her thighs. He got up instantly to get her something to clean up with, not letting her do it himself. As she calmed down, biting her lips as Harry laid down next to her, she saw the small start of a grin. Before she could ask what he was thinking about, Harry spoke.

“I’ve been running low on vitamin P these last few days.”

Y/N was silent for a moment before she understood, then she just looked at him. Of course. “Don’t say it.”

“Vitamin pussy.”

Y/N brought her hands up to her face to hide it from view as they both laughed. It had been such a stupid joke after such a serious and hot moment spent together that neither of them could help themselves. It was exactly what Y/N had expected from Harry and she loved it, even though it was the stupidest joke she had ever heard. Harry’s phone went off, and Y/N wondered if it was 6am already, though that wouldn’t make sense as it at just been 3. Harry sat up, looking at his phone and bringing it up to the sensor on his upper arm, clicking his tongue.

“Seems eating you out didn’t work to get my blood sugar up, it’s still low.”

Y/N laughed again, feeling a pain in her ribs as she looked up at Harry.

“I’ll go eat something ‘cause your cunt’s clearly not sweet enough, and I’ll be back for cuddles-“

“-Hey!”

“I can’t cuddle now, my blood sugar-“

“-Thought you said earlier that my cunt’s sweet.”

Harry grinned down at her, kissing her forehead. “Can’t imagine myself living without the taste of you.” And then he got up, walking over to his kitchen to make himself a toast.

Next time she woke was a little after nine when Harry returned to the cottage after another report, trying to be as quiet as possible as he made a quick brew of coffee. She opened her eyes slowly and just watched him, finding herself smiling at the sight of him standing there in the pale morning sun. He wandered over to the sofa once he had his cup, flicking through the newspaper before him and taking his time before he had to start on a new day around the Clodgy grounds. Y/N let him sit there by himself for a while, understanding that he just needed to properly wake up and relax after a night of reporting and working.

Once he was done with his coffee and closed the newspaper before him, Harry glanced over at Y/N, stopping a little when he saw her already looking at him.

“Morning,” he said, voice still a bit groggy with sleep as he hadn’t talked much still. He cleared his throat. “I, uhm…” He looked at the coffee cup, mouth open as he tried to figure out what he wanted to say. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t.”

“Oh.” He nodded, eyes landing on her again, giving her a small smile before he picked up the coffee mug and walked over to the dishwasher with it. “You want some coffee?”

“I’m good, thanks, though.”

“No problem.”

She continued to just watch him, the tiniest of smiles on her face. Harry walked about the kitchen, looking through his fridge before he rummaged through the bowl of fruit on the counter. It seemed he was busying himself as he tried to find the right words to say, stopping a few times when he thought he had it, but then starting up his hunt again.

“How’d you sleep then?”

Y/N’s smile widened, still feeling Harry’s stubble where it had been between her thighs only hours beforehand. “Great, and you?”

Harry glanced over at her, smiling as well now. “Been a while since I’ve slept that well, to be honest.”

She giggled, sitting up in bed. She noticed his eyes flickered to her chest where she was sure her nipples were visible through her shirt. His cheeks flared and he looked away before meeting her eyes again. “Same here.”

His cheeks got redder and he couldn’t help his little smile. “Right.”

She smiled, stretching where she sat in the bed. “I feel like I need a shower. Might pop by the Inn-“

“-No, you can-“ Harry didn’t finish that sentence, instead he gestured at the bathroom with a little nod, biting his lips together. “I’ll… I’ll go outside and do some chores.”

Y/N nodded, getting up from the bed. “If you’re sure.”

“You don’t even have to ask, Y/N.”

That sent a shiver up her spine and her smile widened. “I still want to make sure. You never know when you’re stepping over a line or summat.”

“Not here, never here.”

It was incredible how much Harry made her feel at once. His words made her warm with adoration, but they also made her want to run over to him and rip his clothes off. She just wanted to be close to him, to physically touch him all over again. It had been so long since she’d felt his skin, kissed him, even though it had only been last night, and she longed for it all again. She missed being close to him, missed feeling him take over each one of her senses. The feeling of him being all around her, paralysing her and making her feel full of nothing but peace and love. Was there anything that felt better than that? Than not being able to do anything anywhere completely with someone because you were so in love with them it consumed you? Wasn’t the feeling of someone you were utterly, truly in love with feeling the same way about you, wanting to be with you like you wanted to be with them? How lucky hadn’t they been to have found each other and fallen at the same time.

Y/N walked over to the bathroom, watching Harry where he was stood by the foyer. She hadn’t expected to blurt it out like she did. In fact, in retrospect, she wasn’t sorry she had suggested it, but she knew that it had taken both her and Harry off guard. However, it wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t opened her mouth either. Something they both would have regretted.

“Do you wanna come?”

Harry blinked a few times as if he was certain he hadn’t heard her right.

“In the shower?”

His mouth fell open slightly and he continued to just look at her, for a second looking like he thought she was taking the piss.

“If you’re busy you don’t have to, but the offers there-“

“-Y-You want me to come-“ Harry stopped himself, furrowing his brows. “You want me to come in the shower with you?”

“Yeah, unless you’re busy. I know-“

“-No, I…” Harry inhaled slowly. “No, I want to. I’ll come.”

Y/N smiled at him, opening the bathroom door as butterflies swarmed around in her stomach. It had been a while since she’d seen him naked, and even that had been in the dark of the bedroom in the lighthouse. Now, in the pale morning light, she’d get to see all of him. And he’d get to see all of her; chunky thighs, cellulite, and the mole on the inside of her right thigh. She didn’t mind him seeing her naked.

Y/N stepped inside, looking at the shower and the small window at the top of the wall, letting some natural sunlight stream into the bathroom. Harry followed after her, closing the door after him and standing there behind her, watching her as she studied the pale yellow sunbeams make it through the window. Slowly, she turned around, looking over her shoulder at Harry and keeping eye contact till they stood face to face. He was still watching her, studying her face and her body, taking his time and clearly trying not to make her feel uncomfortable at him taking her in like this. Reaching for the hem of Harry’s tee shirt, she brought it over her head and let it fall to the floor beside her, feeling an undeniable heat pull towards the bottom of her tummy as Harry’s eyes fell to her exposed breasts. He was paying so close attention to her as if just being here with her, getting a chance to look at her like this, was the greatest privilege one could ask for. Y/N’s body felt hot under his stare and she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, feeling a sort of powerful only Harry was able to make erupt inside her.

He tugged his own tee shirt over his head, letting it fall not far from where she’d placed hers, his broad and tanned chest exposed to her one more time. Like he had done to her, she took her time studying him. She took in the hair travelling from his navel to below his underwear, his outlined pecks and the soft tummy underneath them. Seeing him like that, glowing in the light of the sun, had something inside her scream with anticipation. Though nothing was set in stone to happen, she could still feel an instant intense electricity forming in the air between them.

Y/N reached for her knickers and Harry’s lips parted, inhaling sharply as if he’d just been brought back from an extraordinary trance. She pulled them down, revealing herself completely to him and the breath Harry had let enter his body just seconds before, left his lips in a shaky exhale once she stood upright again. His eyes moved over her, finally able to see all of her and in the light of day. Y/N’s heart beat hard inside her chest, looking at Harry look at her, feeling every emotion she held for him all at once. Once their eyes met, she let hers fall to his usual denim shorts, then meet his eyes again.

He understood right away, reaching for the button and the zipper, taking both his shorts and boxers off in one go. Y/N tried not to get visibly excited at the sight, but she could already see the hint of arousal on Harry, something that made the heat inside her own body intensify. Their eyes met again, and though she would’ve usually seen a slight blush across Harry’s cheeks, it wasn’t there just then. No, he seemed confident enough, ready enough, content enough not to feel embarrassed about anything.

She took a single step back before turning around, drawing the frosted shower door aside so she could step inside. Turning on the water, Y/N squealed a little as cold water came pouring down over her at first, taking a huge step to the other side of the shower so the water wouldn’t hit her. She was now standing in the open doorway into the shower, looking out at Harry who was smiling, chuckling some to herself at her instant reaction to the water. She wrinkled her nose at him before reaching her hand out, feeling at the water to see if it was a comfortable enough temperature now. When it was, she walked back over, standing under the shower head as she felt footsteps behind her on the shower floor, then the door sliding shut.

She turned around when she was fully wet, looking over at Harry as he just stood there, watching her intently. Biting her lip, she stepped aside, letting him slide past her and into the stream of the shower. She took his place, watching Harry now as he let the water run over him, a content sigh leaving his lips as if this was something he had really needed. Standing there, she wanted to reach forward and touch him. His back muscles, plump arse, and the scar on the back of his thigh. It wasn’t big, but it looked to have happened a long time ago. Maybe when he was little, having fallen off his bike or done something stupid kids often did while playing.

Harry picked up the shampoo bottle, letting her slide past him again to shampoo her hair. She waited for him to hand it over to her, but instead of putting the bottle back in her hand, Harry opened the shampoo and then put the bottle on the small sill beside the window. The small of fresh papaya wafted through the air, and a second later, she felt fingers in her hair and a hot sensation ran down her spine, resting at her core but heating up her entire body. She closed her eyes, letting the feeling of Harry take over each one of her senses. Humming contentedly, she let Harry massage her scalp, feeling herself relax completely for the first time in a long while. He pressed against her backside, not at all shy now that she felt him against her bum, harder than he had been when they undressed before one another. She felt like falling to the floor, the intensity of anything but the moment right now dissipating completely.

Something soft was pressed against her shoulder, then a bit further up towards her neck. Harry’s tender kisses sent shocks of great pleasure throughout her body, making it once again hard to remain standing. She suddenly heard some coughing and a small “ew”, and when she turned around, Harry was grimacing.

“Shampoo,” he explained, making Y/N laugh.

“You didn’t have to lick the shampoo.”

“It’s all over you now, innit?” he said, making both of them laugh again. “Was trying to be proper romantic, but fucked myself over with that one.”

“Nah, I liked it.”

“That I ate shampoo?”

She laughed. “Well, you didn’t eat it. At least not on purpose.”

He chuckled. “Real papaya tastes better than shampoo papaya. I’m a survivor of the papaya shampoo-“

“-Oh, don’t be dramatic.” She turned around, smiling over at him. “It was brave of you to go through all that for a shoulder kiss.”

“I’d go through a lot more than just eating shampoo to give you another shoulder kiss.”

Y/N laughed, getting the conditioner. She was about to put some in her hand when Harry took it from her. He shook his head, and she pretended to roll her eyes, even though she actually thoroughly enjoyed how much he wanted to take care of her. He ran his hands through her hair, making sure not to let any conditioner touch her scalp. While doing this, he planted more kisses along her jaw, even daring to kiss her neck and jawline, now not at all intimidated by the shampoo. There was simply no way not to smile and feel her entire body buzz with adoration as Harry did this.

When he stopped, he put his hands under the stream to get all the shampoo and conditioner off. Though she usually let the shampoo and conditioner stay in her hair a bit, she let it be this time around. Stepping under the stream from the shower head, she closed her eyes and rinsed her hair thoroughly. She ran her hands through her hair, closing her eyes. She knew Harry was watching her and she loved that he was. The steam from the shower along with Harry’s not-so-subtly studying every single part of her naked body, made her hotter than she’d been in a while.

It happened so suddenly it made her gasp. Once she opened her eyes to look at him again, her hair free of shampoo and conditioner, Harry took the step toward her. He grabbed the back of her neck and brought her to him, kissing her fiercely. Though it had startled her at first, she melted into the kiss right away. Though they had kissed only last night, it still felt like an eternity ago, and she had missed him like this. She missed kissing him and knowing that it would lead somewhere fantastic, just like last night’s kiss had felt. Maybe that one had been even more intense than this one because it held the promise of a future, but this kiss felt very similar. This one was purposeful. They both knew there was a future now, but they had no idea where it’d go, only that in this very moment, no matter what, they wanted to spend this one moment with each other. And they wanted to take great advantage of that.

Harry pressed her against the wall, moaning into her as she gripped his back, bringing her closer to him. She tilted his head and kissed him harder, something that had a short breath leaving his nose, a slight twitch against Y/N’s core and lower belly.

“Open up for me,” she whispered against him and he did as she said without hesitation. Their tongues found one another instantly and fantastic bliss ran through Y/N’s body to the point where she completely forgot where she was. The kisses grew more frantic, wetter, deeper. She pulled away at one point, taking a grip of his hair, tilting his head so it’d fit better against hers, before she kissed him again. Harry smiled against her lips at that, getting harder against her as she took control of him, making him listen to her and what she wanted. The mere fact that this was turning him on turned Y/N on, and she continued to take the dominant role. Something both of them loved.

She lifted her leg and Harry took a grip of her knee, bringing it up to his hip. He instantly leaned more into her, his erection against her centre, making her grip on his hair tighten. Slowly, making a tingle of excitement run through her veins, Harry grinded against her. She couldn’t help her moan, begging him to do it again as she squeezed his shoulder. He did, letting a small whimper pass from his lips and into her mouth, desperate for an actual feel of her. Y/N adjusted her hips some, making it so that when Harry grinded against her hungrily the third time, a shot of pleasure erupted from her clit.

“Oh, my God,” she said, having missed the effect Harry had on her body like this.

He kissed along her neck, sucking lightly at the tip of her jaw. “You’re so hot.”

She smiled, closing her eyes as Harry kissed her collarbone. “It’s all you, you make me act like this.”

Harry stopped right above her heart, kissing her breast. “Don’t give me that sort of credit.”

She giggled. “Then what should I say?”

Harry kissed along her neck again, a thrill of ecstasy shooting straight for the spot between Y/N’s legs. “I’m not one to tell you, am I?”

Y/N bit her bottom lip, looking down at Harry and waiting for him to reach her shoulder before she uttered, “No, you’re not.”

She could tell Harry loved that, gripping her knee harder as he rested his forehead against hers. “Are you wet for me like I’m hard for you?”

She cocked her head to the side. “Why don’t you find out?”

Harry bit his bottom lip at that, she could feel his heart beating hard against his chest and against hers. She swore they beat to the same rhythm. He reached down between them, making sure to hold their eye contact as he reached for her centre, eyes hooded with lust. Once his middle and ring finger came into contact with her wetness, he let out a strangled moan. He slid his fingers over her, pushing them slowly into her and out again, making the ache of her core hurt with need. The teasing would surely kill her at one point.

“Fucking hell, Y/N,” he mumbled. “You feel so good. So fucking good.”

“Taste me.”

Harry’s eyebrows raised ever so slightly, her commands making every single hair on his body stand on end in excitement. Running his fingers over her again, he pushed them into her once more, pulling them out to circle her clit. She moaned, not able to help herself, and the sound of her pleasure brought Harry his, moaning along with her. He brought his fingers up, placing them inside his mouth and keeping eye contact with Y/N as he wrapped his lips around his fingers, sucking off her juices. Finding this so hot her entire body began to ache for him, Y/N brought him to her again, kissing him hard. Once again, they lost themselves in each other’s lips, tongues, and the taste. Y/N assumed she was tasting herself on him, but it soon disappeared as the kiss deepened, becoming hungrier than any of the other kisses.

“Get a condom,” she said at last, and in his haste to do just that, Harry almost slipped on the slippery shower floor. Y/N laughed, holding onto her stomach as Harry’s life flashed before his eyes, getting out of the shower to rummage through his bathroom drawer for his condoms. He was back not long after, shielding his covered-up cock from the water as he made his way over to her, putting the lube on the windowsill.

“Think my near death is funny, do you?”

“Hilarious.”

Harry laughed at that, pressing his forehead against hers again as he got a hold of her leg, bringing it up to his hip again.

Harry’s other hand ran from her collarbone, over her chest, and down to her centre, looking into her eyes the entire time. He helped angle her right, licking his lips before meeting her eyes again, resting his forehead once again against hers. They looked down as Harry positioned himself at her opening, Y/N averting her eyes after a little while just so she could look at him when they joined together again. He glanced up at her again as well, holding onto his shaft till most of him was inside her, then gripping her hips hard. They both moaned, unable to say another word as a heavenly feeling swept over them.

A gentleness, vulnerability, warmth lingered there between them as Harry moved in and out of her at a slow pace, it was a sort of feeling that one couldn’t properly speak of, it was too powerful for that. What transpired between them as Harry pounded into her, made her arch her back, was so much more than anything that had ever existed before this. There was an emotion yet to be described, yet to be given a word, that they created as they stood there in that shower, the lazy sunbeams shining in on them and the hot shower pouring down Harry’s back. Y/N hummed in contentment as Harry’s hips met hers, loving the feeling of him there, colliding with her once again.

“Fuck,” Harry mumbled, keeping his eyes on Y/N at all times. He brought her knee further up his hips, making it easier for him to fuck her right, and while doing that, spreading her wider for him as well. At this, she moaned loudly, digging her nails into the skin of his back. With that, Harry picked up the pace a little more, their wet bodies colliding in a rough yet delicious rhythm that had the both of them gasping for breath.

Y/N felt something inside her core, something that was tensing up and making it harder for her to concentrate on much else besides the heat of it and Harry in front of her. Harry continued to rock into her, their bodies crashing hard and loud. The sound of flesh against flesh, their rapid breathing, and the occasional moan was their entire universe in those blissful minutes.

His grip on her tightened, and Y/N couldn’t help herself, letting go of a loud cry of Harry’s name, the quick strokes bringing her closer to her orgasm dangerously fast. She gripped the hair at the nape of his neck, making Harry moan loudly against her, the sort that had him gasping afterwards.

Y/N wondered how she had ever thought that Harry’s feelings for her hadn’t been genuine. She wondered how she had not seen it sooner. Not only how Harry felt for her, but how she felt for him as well. It had taken her so long just to realise that the reason why she was so protective of him, why she wanted to be near him, and why she always felt like her breath got clogged somewhere in her throat when she saw him, was because she was falling in love with him. It had crept up on her so slowly, so powerfully, that she hadn’t realised it till it was too late. But regardless, Y/N was sure that even if she had recognised that she was falling in love with Harry while it was actually happening versus how she realised after it had all happened, she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. She was where she was supposed to be. Where the kindness she had sent out into the universe had brought her; where destiny had always envisioned her. With Harry. In St Ives.

She leaned forward, softly biting onto his bottom lip and it was like seeing his pupils dilate.

“Fuck me,” he mumbled, making Y/N grin.

She arched her back, the tenseness in her core tightening. The edges of her vision blurred as she watched Harry. As they came together, as they looked into each other’s eyes, Y/N knew that nothing would be better than this. She felt Harry everywhere. Felt him, smelled him, tasted him, heard him. He was everywhere all at once, and it was exactly as Y/N wanted it. She wanted him to leave more pieces of himself inside her, feel him shape her into a better version of herself, help her along the path to becoming the person she was supposed to be. There was a piece of him in each one of her molecules, and though she was sure this was an aspect of her life that would never truly dissipate, she knew Harry would always be with her. Wherever she went, whoever she was with, he had helped her on her way to discover herself, and for that she would always be grateful.

They kissed one another one more time, Y/N moaning against him as he thrust into her, this one rougher than all the ones before. Breaking away, they looked into each other’s eyes as she dug her nails into his scalp and shoulder. She came. The tenseness in her core erupted and she felt the effect like an earthquake all over her body. She was gasping, moaning, and looking into his eyes as pure bliss washed over her. The leg Harry was holding shook and it was a wonder the other one hadn’t given out from under her. She held onto him as she came down, smiling at him as if she couldn’t believe they’d just done that.

Y/N wrapped an arm around Harry’s shoulders, holding onto him as he pounded into her, the veins in his neck popping out. She knew he was close, saw it and felt it. As his pace picked up some more, though she was still incredibly sensitive, Y/N felt a familiar burn herself. This had never happened before, she usually needed some time to gather herself and to not be as sensitive down there before she could go for a round two, but something about today was different. She gasped as Harry hit a particular spot and he looked into her eyes, refusing to keep them close as he had that last minute.

“Harry,” she moaned, making him grab her boob, squeezing it seductively.

Suddenly, there was a sound coming from outside. The two of them had been too caught up in one another and their little moment that they hadn’t heard the approaching car. Though Y/N quickly realised what was happening, Harry continued to fuck her, oblivious until a car door closed with a bang outside in the courtyard. He removed his face from where he had rested his forehead against hers, trying to peek out of the foggy window.

“Dax,” Harry said. “Think the rest as well.”

“Everyone’s here?!” Y/N hissed. “Everyone’s outside?!”

“Looks like it,” Harry said, turning back to her. “Just-“ He put one hand over her mouth. “Be quiet.”

“I’m not the one that needs to be quiet,” she said against his palm, but her voice was muffled by him covering her mouth. “You’re loud.”

“I’m not bloody loud, what’re you talking about?” Harry furrowed his brows.

Y/N chuckled. “Who cares? Just get a move on so we can go out there.”

Harry smiled and pressed his forehead against hers again, gripping her thigh harder as he began to make as small and quick movements as possible, trying not to make any noise. His pace, his flow, felt heavenly. Her eyes fluttered shut, digging her nails into Harry’s back. By the looks of it, this exact angle and tempo was doing it for Harry as well. He looked at her as he neared his climax, doing as Y/N said and trying to keep his mouth shut and moans to a minimum. She could tell he was struggling, and she squeezed his shoulder in encouragement as he continued to barely make any noise.

“Harry?!” Dax called from the front door, walking into the cottage. More footsteps sounded behind him and Harry stopped abruptly, looking over at the door through the blurry glass of the shower door. “Mate, where are you?”

Harry and Y/N looked at one another, eyes wide as they listened for more movement outside.

“Found him, Dax, Jo?” Fatima called from outside, her footsteps along with, what Y/N could only assume, Amir and Ellie nearing the cottage.

“No, he’s not here,” Jo answered.

“Where the fuck could he have gone? Not like he’s supposed to be anywhere else, is it?” Dax asked no one in particular. “He wasn’t in the lighthouse either?”

“No, but he just did his 9am,” Amir answered.

“What the fuck, then,” Dax said. The door into the bathroom burst open and Y/N tried not to scream. Harry pressed his body against Y/N’s so Dax wouldn’t see any of her. “Haz-“ Everything was disturbingly silent for a single second before Dax realised what he must be looking at. “OH!”

“A bit preoccupied at the moment, Dax!” Harry shouted out at his best mate where he still stood in the bathroom doorway.

“Right! Sorry!” Dax slammed the bathroom door shut. Harry and Y/N looked at one another, both giggling and doing their best not to be heard by the others outside. “We’ll just fuck off outside then!”

There was a slight silence outside in the cottage till Ellie finally asked, “What’s going on?”

“Harry and Y/N,” Dax explained. “They’re in the shower.”

“What?!” exclaimed Fatima.

“In the shower, or in the shower shower?” Amir asked, it sounded like he was wiggling his eyebrows along with his question.

“Mate. No,” Jo said.

“Would you lot mind buggering off for a bit?!” Harry shouted, making a flurry of footsteps move hastily towards the front door. They could all be heard outside, chatting excitedly and fast. Harry rolled his eyes and sighed, making Y/N laugh.

“Right,” Harry said, bringing her leg higher up as to get better access. She gasped. “Where were we?”

She bit her lips, grinning at him. Harry started at the same pace as before, fucking her quickly and with small movements as not to be heard, not sure how well the sound of their wet bodies slamming together would carry. Y/N reached for the lube, making Harry let out a small breath as if he had completely forgotten about it, but appreciated that Y/N had. Once again, she had to angle herself so best to access his bum, and when she did, she slid her fingers slowly into him.

“Fuck,” Harry hissed.

He continued with his small and quick movements as to make it easier for Y/N to keep her fingers in. She curled them slightly upward, watching as Harry’s eyes fluttered shut.

“Y/N,” he moaned, voice trembling slightly. She kept her fingers like that, feeling that, with each of Harry’s movements, he ignited the fire inside, making her heat up all over again. Harry’s whimpers got more frequent and desperate, not fully knowing what to do with himself as his orgasm got closer and closer.

“Come on, baby,” she mumbled, and that was all it took. Her calling him that. Finally, Harry was brought towards climax. He came looking into Y/N’s eyes, everyone and everything else completely forgotten as he filled the condom, moaning her name and gripping her body harder. She had felt the oncoming second orgasm herself, and though she hadn’t thought Harry would’ve noticed her like that, he had.

“I can go down on you,” he offered, pulling himself out of her. “We can-“

“-No,” Y/N laughed. “They’re waiting for you.”

“For us,” Harry corrected her, getting up as he had hunched down, ready to make her come a second time. “They’re waiting for us.”

Y/N smiled at him, stroking his cheek as he stood before her. He leaned in, kissing her softly on the lips as they relished in the last of their moment together.

“I’ll make it up to you later,” he said against her lips, making Y/N’s tummy, which was already filled with butterflies, tickle with anticipation.

“I’ll just wash up.”

“Alright, I’ll wait.”

Harry dried himself off as quickly as possible, running out into the living room to get a new pair of boxers and jeans along with Y/N’s dress and jumper. He put on his underwear and jeans, then picked up the tee shirt Y/N had been wearing the bed the night before, making a note to sniff it in front of Y/N just so he could watch her laugh at him. She got dressed as well, suddenly filled with dread for what was waiting for them outside. Once in the foyer, Harry pulled her closer, kissing her one more time, smiling against her. She giggled, kissing him again before they both turned to the door and walked outside.

Everyone was sat on the grass beside the lighthouse, not too close to the cliff, but close enough so that the wind was rather harsh. As Harry and Y/N approached, Fatima looked over her shoulder, smiling at them before she alerted the others, making them all stand up. Y/N felt a tenseness in her chest, terrified of what would happen the second they started chatting. She hadn’t forgotten the look of hurt on Dax’s face, or how hurt Fatima had been, or how Jo looked between Harry and Y/N, refusing to believe what they were saying was true.

“To what do we owe the pleasure?” Harry asked once they were close enough to talk.

Amir’s eyes fell on Y/N, giving her a smile before he looked at Harry. Jo opened their mouth, crossing their arms over their chest. “Think you got some explaining to do. Both of you.”

Harry looked at Y/N who glanced back at him, but she quickly stared at the others, feeling her hands go all clammy.

“Well,” Harry started, scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s… it’s probably what you think.”

“What’s that?” asked Dax.

“I’m in love with Y/N,” Harry said, as if it was the simplest and most profound fact of the world. “And she’s in love with me.”

Dax looked between them, studying each of their faces. “Alright,” he said, pausing for two seconds. “Why bother lying, then?”

“That’s… That’s not a lie.”

“I didn’t mean lie about that, why did you have to lie about being a couple when you were on your way to become one in the first place?”

Harry furrowed his brows. “It’s not that simple, though. We didn’t know we’d end up caring for one another like that when we first met.”

“Dax,” Fatima said, raising her eyebrows at him. “I know you’re hurt Harry lied to you-“

“-Nah, I’m not hurt. I’m fuming.”

Harry let out a huff. “Thought you were over it, mate.”

“But I’m not.” Dax looked Harry dead in the eyes. “Look, I’m happy for you. Genuinely, I am. You more than anyone else deserve to find love, especially when that someone you fall in love with is Y/N, yeah? But…” Dax trailed off, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m still hurt that my best friend lied to me. I tell you everything, Haz.”

“I wanted to tell you, Dax. Really.”

“But?”

“But you love to gossip, mate! You’re just like your mum!”

“I wouldn’t have told people about this, Harry.”

Harry sighed. “Listen, be mad, yeah? Take your time to be mad. I’m sorry.” He looked at all his other friends as well. Amir, Fatima, Jo, Ellie. “I’m sorry for lying about this. It was a stupid thing to lie about, but I was desperate and before either of us really knew what was going on, we were just fake dating.”

Ellie nodded along, smiling a little at both Y/N and Harry’s wet hairs. “But you’re not fake dating anymore… right?”

Harry smiled as well, looking at Y/N. “No.”

“Aww, you two!” Fatima exclaimed.

“We haven’t discussed it yet, she told me yesterday that she won’t leave St Ives, so…” Harry shrugged, holding up his hand to stop Fatima, Amir, Ellie and Jo from celebrating. “It’s not official.”

“But you fancy each other, yeah?” Amir grinned. “That’s enough, innit?”

“So it’s really not fake this time?” Dax asked, looking at Harry as he spoke. “You’re genuinely in love?”

“Mate,” Harry said, a red colour crossing his cheekbones. “You just saw us shagging in the shower.”

Jo howled with laughter and Ellie giggled, looking over at Fatima who was having trouble holding Amir up as he was pretending to faint from shock. Even Dax had trouble not laughing at that, a single chuckle escaping his lips as he studied Y/N and Harry who were both flustered, hair still a mess from just having gotten out of the shower. Harry took a step closer to Y/N, nudging her with his hips. Once their eyes met, Y/N was taken back to their shared moment in the shower, blushing furiously again.

“Alright,” Dax said, smiling at them. “I guess I was just offended.”

“Don’t make this about yourself, bruv,” Amir said, walking over to stand between Y/N and Harry, flinging his arms over their shoulders. “Everything’s back to normal, innit?”

“Well, a new normal,” Harry pointed out. “We still have to figure out a lot of things.”

“Ah, well, that’ll come easy,” Amir smiled. “Bottom line, for us, nothing’s really gonna change. We always thought you were together, and now you’re actually together.”

Y/N looked over at Fatima who shrugged, clearly agreeing with her cousin.

Amir patted them each on the shoulder, grinning from ear to ear. “We came here to check if Harry was alright. Haven’t heard from you in a couple of days, mate.”

“No, I’ve…” Harry’s eyes flickered over to Y/N before he met Amir’s eyes again. “Been a bit… well, sad.”

“That’s okay,” Amir said. “You feeling better now?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry smiled, looking at Y/N again. “Loads.”

“Wicked.” Amir gave Harry a pat on the back. “Pub, anyone?”

“It’s not even noon,” Fatima said, raising her eyebrows at Amir.

“Who cares? Everyone’s about to go back to their everyday lives, think we should just spend a day doing nothing in particular, don’t you?” Amir looked around the ground with his mouth agape in anticipation.

“Actually,” Harry said, looking apologetically at Amir. “Y/N and I gotta go to the farm real quick.”

Amir’s face fell. “Why?”

“We just need to talk to Jessa, Gracie, lolo, and uncle Timmy. You know…” Harry motioned with his arms before him. “About what Y/N and I did.”

“Ahh!” Amir gave Harry’s back a pat, nodding his head. “Yeah, alright.”

Y/N’s heart fell again. She hadn’t even thought of that. They would have to face Jessa and Grace as well, and apologise for what they had done. Y/N wouldn’t be mad at Jessa if she didn’t forgive her or Harry for this. After all, they had lied to her all summer, not thinking that they’d end up actually falling in love with one another in the end.

“You’ll pop by later, then? Balcony?” Dax asked, Harry nodding as an answer that they would. “Wicked! See you in an hour or summat then.”

Y/N and Harry watched as the others made their way over to Dax’s car, Amir jumping onto Jo’s back and Ellie laughing her ass off when Jo almost face-planted from the unexpected impact. Harry walked over to Y/N, raising his eyebrows slowly as if to ask

Hadn’t been there since everything had happened. This was where her family had shown up and where Dominic had dragged Harry to the ground. The thought made her sick. Her family had all been here and she had let them treat Harry like that. Taking a deep breath, Y/N just looked at the farm, feeling as if she should just turn back around and walk away from it all. She didn’t deserve to be close to Jessa, or Grace, or lolo-

“Flower?”

She looked at Harry who was watching her with big eyes.

“You alright?”

“No. Not really, no.”

Harry nodded slightly. “Yeah, it’s… I mean, it’s gonna be alright. I know it is. But Jessa… Blimey, I hate disappointing Jessa.”

“Has she given you a hard time before for disappointing her?”

“Yeah, and it was just as you can expected it to,” Harry chuckled. “She would give me the cold shoulder and make me feel bad till I finally gave in and apologised.”

“Oh, my word, Harry, we should’ve done this sooner-“

“-We weren’t on speaking terms then, were we?” Harry reasoned. “We have spent days trying to talk, and now we have. We’ve always needed to do this together. Don’t think it would’ve been completely alright till you came with to apologise as well, Jessa wouldn’t think so.”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, I-“

“-Harry?”

They both turned to look at Jessa as she walked out of the hen house, lolo’s straw hat on her head and walking slowly, as if she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing.

“Y/N?”

Hearing Jessa say her name was surreal, especially after everything. She didn’t sound mad; she didn’t sound disappointed. In fact, she just sounded confused, as if the sight before her was the most peculiar yet familiar thing in the world. Not wanting to postpone this any longer, Y/N started walking towards the farm, Harry following close behind her. As they walked through the gate, Jessa stopped walking, holding onto her basket filled with eggs as she watched them move to her. The door to the main house opened, Grace and lolo along with Tim stood there, eyes on Harry and Y/N as they stopped in front of Jessa. They were sure the others could hear them, Grace even walked a little closer as if she wanted to run to Harry and Y/N, but stopped herself as she noticed they were directing all their attention at Jessa.

“How are you feeling?” Jessa asked Harry, eyes scanning him from head to toe. “Not had any other hypo situations?”

“No,” Harry answered quickly. “No, I’ve been alright.”

Jessa nodded, eyes falling on Y/N. “They’ve gone back to Hampshire?”

Jessa didn’t have to say who she was talking about for Y/N to understand completely. The chat she had with Jessa Tuesday the week before still fresh in her mind. Y/N nodded as an answer to Jessa’s question. “They left a few days ago.”

“Good,” Jessa answered curtly. “Didn’t like them. Quite rude of them to just show up to a party like that unannounced.”

“Yeah, they’ve never much considered other people’s feelings.”

A small smile flickered over Jessa’s lips. “No, I could tell.”

Y/N smiled back a little, looking up to meet Harry’s eyes. She could tell he was about to speak, but she beat him to it, whipping her head in Jessa’s direction again. “We’re so sorry.” She glanced at Grace, lolo, and Tim as well. “So sorry.”

Harry looked away from Y/N at the others. “It’s all my fault.”

“Harry-“

“-No, Y/N, it is.” Harry let out a huge sigh, meeting Jessa’s eyes. “I’m sorry, nanay. I’ve always told you everything. Always. But you were fussing so much about how I was lonely at Clodgy, something I wasn’t. I was perfectly okay up there by myself, I like my own company. Ever since Emilia… well, I like being alone. But… But…” Harry stopped, growing red in the cheeks. “You know… I thought if I pretended to have a girlfriend, you’d get off my back a bit.” He let out a chuckle. “I should’ve known better, though. You just want what’s best for me, so you want to know every detail of everything.”

Jessa was eerily silent, not moving an inch.

“And I know it was a fucking daft move, alright? Well out of line for me to lie about something like that, a-and… and…” Harry looked down at Y/N. “And especially stupid of me to drag Y/N into it. She had no idea what she did when she went along to pretend to be my girlfriend on Fore Street that day.”

“Hang on,” Grace said, frowning. “We met Y/N on Fore Street.”

“Yeah, that was the first time I met Y/N myself.”

“That same day?” Tim asked.

“Yes.”

“And you just asked someone to me your fake girlfriend to further your lie?” Tim still sounded confused. Y/N’s palms were getting clammy.

“Y-Yes.” Harry nodded his head. “It’s entirely my fault.”

“Harry, no.” Y/N looked up at him. “I helped.”

“It wasn’t your idea, was it?”

Y/N was about to protest, said that it didn’t matter, but Harry went on.

“I went to the Inn to tell Y/N not to worry about this fake relationship of ours, ‘cause… I couldn’t keep it from you, Jessa. I couldn’t lie to you like that.” Harry sighed again. “But you had already told everyone, so we would’ve looked well stupid to just tell everyone that we lied, it wasn’t true, we weren’t a couple.”

“As opposed to everyone finding out at the party last Friday that it had been fake all this time?” Jessa asked, making both Harry and Y/N shut up.

A small silence stretched out then, when the only sound they heard was the wind blowing through the trees around them and the hens in the hen house. Y/N looked around at everyone before her, trying to see all of their reactions. No one spoke for what felt like a century, and it was hard to see what any of them thoughts because panic was starting to rise within Y/N. Did they all hate her? No one was saying anything, did they really detest her? What her and Harry had done, they’d never forgive them, would they? Y/N felt lightheaded, sure that she had never been anticipating an answer from someone as much as she was anticipating these people before her.

Suddenly, Jessa took a small step forward, her head cocked and eyes flicking between Y/N and Harry. She looked thoughtful, though no anger could be detected on her face.

“You know,” Jessa started, clutching the egg basket a little closer to her. “I never once doubted you two weren’t an item. Not once.”

Harry’s cheeks got redder, eyes falling to the ground.

“But I don’t think that’s something to be embarrassed about, Harry,” Jessa said, voice very soft all of a sudden and Y/N felt like crying. “I could tell there was something between you two that I hadn’t seen between you and Emilia, Harry. After Emilia left,” Jessa said, looking at Y/N now. “Harry was very sad at first, but I had never seen him as happy as that time after all that mourning. He was so, so happy. Just as he deserved. Wasn’t easy, losing his father… or my husband, like that.”

Y/N nodded, understanding that it must’ve been a grief unlike anything anyone would ever have the capability to explain.

“But the second you came into his life - when you arrived in St Ives, to be more specific, ‘cause you were kind of there while Harry lied about having a girlfriend – but when you came into his life… something in him shifted. He was still happy, still himself, but it comes easier to him now to articulate himself. To find his words. He had huge trouble with that before. Always had. Words, new beginnings, new opportunities, it’s all come easier to him since you came into his life. And that-“ Jessa pointed her finger at Harry’s chest as she met his eyes again. “-That is why I’m not mad now.”

Harry blinked.

“Whatever is going on between you two, it’s not fake. If you’re saying that, if you’ve ever said that or believed that, you’ve lied to yourselves, not to anyone else,” Jessa said. “Yes, you’ve lied to us about being in a relationship. Yes, it was a tragic thing to do.”

Harry winced at her words, nodding his head. Y/N knew she must’ve had the same reaction, but she didn’t know or care what she looked like just then. All she cared about was Jessa, Grace, lolo, and Tim.

“But,” Jessa continued. “I would’ve been mad if you two weren’t in love at all. I’m disappointed it took you two this long to admit it, but I guess that’s what happens when you’re both as oblivious as each other.” She let out a sigh. “You’re forgiven.” She met Y/N’s eyes, smiling. “Both of you.”

Y/N bit her lip as it started to tremble, everything she had felt these last few minutes finally leaving her. Relief and peace finally flooded through her veins.

“I meant what I said that day, Y/N,” Jessa said, taking Y/N’s hand with her free one. “You are loved unconditionally here, with us.”

Y/N nodded her head, squeezing Jessa’s hand.

“Right,” Jessa grinned, looking up at Harry. “Free for a cuppa, my lovelies?”

“No, uhm…” Harry ran a hand through his hair, smiling down at Jessa. “We’re going to the pub with the gang. Getting a quick pint in before summer ends.”

“How nice,” Jessa said. “You two will pop by tomorrow then?”

“Yes,” Y/N answered, and Jessa’s smile widened. The older woman took a few steps toward Y/N, wrapping her arm around her in a hug. Y/N hugged her back, forcing back the tears she felt pressing on.

“We’ll see you then,” Jessa said, going in to hug Harry next.

“See you!” Grace grinned as she ran over, arms outstretched for Y/N. Y/N giggled, hoping no one heard her strangled sob. She bent down, hugging Grace to her, closing her eyes as Grace’s hold on Y/N tightened. Lolo and Tim came over as well, both smiling at Y/N and giving her hugs, patting and stroking her back, as if they both knew how much she needed it. Harry and Y/N said the last few goodbyes to their family before they walked over to Harry’s van, sitting back there in silence.

Harry suddenly turned to look at Y/N, leaning over to take her face in his hands so roughly and unexpectedly that Y/N squealed. He kissed her firmly on the lips, leaving small pecks all over her face as a grin erupted across his lips. Y/N laughed, holding onto his wrists and closing her eyes until he stopped. All the way to The Balcony Bar and Kitchen, Harry held onto Y/N’s hand, clutching onto it between changing gears, never once letting go voluntarily. Y/N thought this was quite funny, but she didn’t say this. She appreciated how he wanted to stay close to her all he could, whenever he could, just as he had said last night at 3am.

The Balcony Bar and Kitchen was an old pub, but at the far end of the pub, the entire wall facing the beach was made out of tall windows. Y/N could make out their little gang sitting at one of the tables, talking merrily amongst themselves as her and Harry strolled up to the bar.

“What do you fancy?” Harry asked her, standing so close that their sides were flush against one another. Y/N suddenly wanted to be back in the Clodgy cottage again so Harry could make up for before, as he had promised her he would once they were back there later. A chill went up her spine and she smiled, loving the fact that she could stand there and imagine a future, no matter how near or far away it was, where Harry was present.

“Whatever you’re having,” Y/N said simply.

“Sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Really sure?”

“Really, really sure, in fact.”

Harry chuckled, ordering two pints from the bartender who had come up to them just then.

“Y/N.”

Once again, Y/N felt like she could’ve done without hearing that voice again. She thought she would’ve heard it for the last time at the end of summer party, but she guessed she hadn’t been that lucky. Looking to her right, she saw Emilia standing there. Harry tensed to her left, watching as the bartender made them their pints.

“Could we have a chat?” Emilia asked, taking Y/N completely off guard. It took her a few tries to get the correct words out, but Y/N managed to utter a quick, “Yeah,” to which Emilia smiled gratefully.

“I’ll take these to our table,” Harry said to Y/N, giving Emilia a smile before he walked back over to their little group by the window.

Emilia inhaled slowly, looking down at the bar counter before she met Y/N’s eyes again. “It’s been a weird summer, hasn’t it?”

Y/N was still not sure what was going on or why Emilia was trying to make small talk. If she wanted to say something to Y/N, then she should just say it right away. Y/N had people she’d rather be with.

Emilia must’ve sensed Y/N’s confusion at what was going on, so she sighed and turned to look at Y/N fully. “I just wanna talk about everything. I could tell there was a bit of tension between us at the end of summer party.”

Y/N rested her elbow on the counter beside her. “Yeah, there was.”

“I just wanted to talk that out, ‘cause I don’t know what you think, but it’s a bit stupid to have gotten off on the wrong foot like this when we barely know each other, isn’t it?”

Y/N took a moment to study Emilia, trying to decipher if the words she had just spoken were genuine. “Yeah.”

“I came back from Munich and found out that Harry had a girlfriend, and I was delighted. He-“

“-You were?” Y/N asked.

“Yes, of course,” Emilia answered. “Harry deserves to be happy.”

Y/N tried not to let it show on her face that she was shocked by this news. “He does.”

“I was told he had a girlfriend, and the second we met, I just felt like you didn’t like me.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Was a bit hard to when you used the power you know you have over Harry to show me that you still have the ability to make him do anything you want. And I think you got the idea that I ‘didn’t like you’ when I told Harry I felt uncomfortable with this, and he stopped giving you attention.”

Emilia fell quiet.

“Am I right?”

“You don’t know what happened between us, Harry and I.”

“I do, in fact. Harry’s told me.”

Emilia’s mouth was a thin line now. “Alright. My boyfriend of one year back in Munich broke up with me and I was sad about it. It was wrong of me to seek comfort in Harry, I’m sorry.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows some. “So… my theory’s correct? You wanted to know that you still exerted some dominance over Harry, even after all those years, and have him crawl back to you so you’d feel… what, better about yourself after being broken up with? Did you want someone to make you feel better?”

“I’m aware it was wrong of me, okay-“

“-No, I don’t think you get how fucking disgusting that is.”

Emilia turned silent again, blinking at Y/N.

“You didn’t even talk to him after you left. His dad died and his girlfriend broke up with him, he was left completely broken ‘cause of you, but he’s too good to say any of this to your face,” Y/N said, taking a small step forward.

“I left because of my mental health.”

“And that’s valid, but you should also know that by doing that, you left a hole in Harry that it took a while for him to fill up himself. You don’t get to walk in and out of someone’s life whenever it suits you, especially when they’re doing so much better now than they ever did with you there.”

Emilia looked away.

“It might feel like it, but you’re not the only person in the world that possesses feelings. We all do. The way you keep treating others and neglecting the fact that your actions will stay with them forever, is a dangerous sort of ignorance that I suggest you do something about.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I don’t want to. I’ve heard enough from everyone else.” Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not my decision to make, but in my opinion, you should think twice before you try and make a place for yourself in Harry’s life again. His friends and family don’t really have a great picture of you any longer.”

Emilia sighed, meeting Y/N’s eyes again. “You know, I get where you’re coming from.”

It was Y/N’s turn to be silent now.

“You want to protect Harry, make sure nothing happens to him, and I know I hurt him bad, so naturally you don’t want me in his life. But, as you said, that’s his call,” Emilia said. “I shouldn’t have gone after Harry when I came back from Munich, it was stupid of me, especially considering how happy he looked with you. Granted, it was all fake, but I know Harry and I could tell he fancied the pants off you.”

Y/N gave Emilia a small smile, trying to make some sort of peace.

“I won’t stand in the way of you two.”

“I appreciate that. I’m sure Harry does as well.”

Emilia nodded, giving Y/N a smile.

“Y/N!” Fatima called from where she sat with all the others. When Y/N looked in their direction, she simply could not help her smile. They were all chatting amongst themselves, laughing at something, and Fatima and Harry were looking her way, beckoning her over.

“Hope you have a good day, Emilia,” Y/N said-

“You too, Y/N.”

And with that, Y/N walked back over to her friends. Harry wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing her to him where he stood at the edge of the table, everyone else perched on bar stools around the tall table. Fatima clinked her glass against Y/N’s, Jo grinned in Y/N’s direction, while Ellie, Amir and Dax were in an animated discussion about something Y/N didn’t catch. Harry leaned down, pressing a small peck to Y/N’s temple, and the grin that spread out across Y/N’s smile almost hurt. A sort of restless anticipation mingled with such utter contentment that it was hard for her to think she’d ever lived, breathed, loved, anywhere but right there in St Ives.

Thursday, 10 September

The universe would always balance itself out, Y/N McKay was aware of this. She was aware that if she had faith and believed everything happens for a reason, it would make the tough times of her life easier to mentally handle. If she did good, the universe would work to give back to her in some other form. And now, after a summer randomly spent in Cornwall, she had found it in herself to believe in destiny as well.

She believed that there was a place where she belonged. People she was supposed to meet, and places she was supposed to see. These people, places, and feelings would help you along the road to self-realisation. They would shape her and make everything make sense, would make all the suffering and the struggles she had faced up until then worth it in a way. Each one of the people Y/N had met in St Ives had had that effect on her. They had made her realise things about herself and her life that she would never have figured out without them. She took that summer with her for the rest of her life; letting the sun beams of St Ives shine through in her smile, the goodness of the locals reflect in her own acts of kindness, the calming feeling of walking along the sand of Porthminster Beach show in her warmness and relaxing effect on the people around her.

Y/N had no idea when she walked out of the door of the building in Bethnal Green, London that September 10th that the summer she had just experienced would play that big of a role in shaping the continuation of her entire life. She had no idea that she would receive top marks on her UCAT she took in Bethnal Green, the following day. Nor that she would attend University of Plymouth for the next six years, graduating with a degree in Dentistry. And she had no idea that, even after all those years, she’d still be with the lighthouse keeper of St Ives. Only now that she was done with University, she moved back to her hometown, to her family, friends, and boyfriend, and would live there for the rest of her life.

No, Y/N didn’t know any of that as she walked out after her UCAT on the second Thursday of September that year. She chose not to think too much about her future at that time, realising that whatever would be, would be, and there was nothing she could change about that now.

Harry, who had driven her to London that day, was stood by his car not too far away, looking down at his phone as he replied to a text. She was sure no one had ever stood by their car like this, with no other agenda than to wait for her before this. Then again, Harry would always do stuff like this as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him, expecting nothing in return. Which had come as a shock to Y/N at first, but once she realised she was doing the same thing for the people she loved as well, she understood.

The UCAT had been awful, at least at first. The questions were difficult, she had to rack her brain properly for most of them, and she could swear she had heard someone crying at one point. She had to put a hand on her own cheek to check for tears, scared that it had been her. But then, during the chaos of everything, she remembered what Harry had said to her when they woke up in the Clodgy cottage that same morning, “It’s a beautiful day to do beautiful things,” and her nerves calmed themselves considerably. Because he was right. It was a beautiful day and she would do beautiful things. The thought of getting out of there and to Harry again was enough motivation to get her through the rest of the UCAT.

Upon hearing some footsteps, Harry looked in the direction of where they were coming. He instantly shoved his phone back down into the pockets of his denim jeans, smiling at Y/N as she approached him.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve got a good feeling,” she admitted, walking over to where he was standing. “But I don’t want to get my hopes up. I get the results back in 24 hours.”

Harry huffed, sliding his thumb reassuringly over her cheek. “You know what I think?”

“Think I already do.”

“You’ll do amazing, the results will be exactly as you dreamed they’d be, and life will be ama-“

“-Amazing,” Y/N finished, making Harry chuckle. “You’ve said that word a lot this last month.”

“Can you blame me?” Harry asked, resting his hand at the back of her neck, bringing her to him so he could plant a kiss to her forehead. “Everything’s been amazing this last month. So I therefore believe that the UCAT results will reflect that.”

Y/N giggled again, walking over to the other side of Harry’s van and getting in. The two of them got comfortable and Harry started driving back to St Ives. Y/N knew how much Harry hated London, and especially the traffic there. He had made it very clear when they had entered the capital that he couldn’t stand Londoners, something that made Y/N giggle. She never saw him have proper road rage, this was the first time she’d ever truly seen it, and it has been more entertaining than she had thought.

He was no better on their way out of the city, hissing curse words under his breath as he honked at reckless drivers or pedestrians that crossed the street without any regard for oncoming traffic. Y/N knew that no matter what, she could not end up attending a University in London, because Harry would not survive the trips to and from the capital.

It was a long drive back to St Ives and she fell asleep once they were out of London and Harry didn’t wake her. He knew she had been stressing the last few weeks to revise and get everything ready for the UCAT, and now that everything was over, he must’ve thought she deserved a small break from it all, some time to relax. When Y/N woke up in St Ives a few hours later, she smiled a little to herself, looking down at the tote bag by her feet that she had filled with books. She had been ready to read out loud to Harry, but she had simply not had the energy this time around.

“Alright?” Harry asked, smiling over at Y/N as he drove up the hill to Clodgy Lighthouse. He took her hand, kissing her palm softly.

“Just dead tired,” Y/N answered, yawning slightly. “I might take a nap once we’re back.”

“Or you can wake up.”

She blinked, looking over at Harry who was smiling a little to himself. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll show you,” Harry said, grinning now as he killed the engine.

Not really knowing what he had planned, Y/N was apprehensive at first. She saw Harry walk over to the field beside the cottage, not really caring to know what he was doing. She was too tired for that. Next, she rubbed her eyes and took her seatbelt off, climbing out of the van to join him. Harry ran for the lighthouse and Y/N followed, smiling at his eagerness to wake her up. The sun was shining brightly above them, not a single cloud in sight, and even though it was September, it was fairly warm out despite the wind.

Harry showed the way up the lighthouse, grinning back at her every once in a while. And though Y/N wanted to ask him what he was up to this time around, she didn’t bother. She knew he’d be cryptic or leave her hanging, neither option seemed very appealing now that she was slightly irritable because of her lack of sleep. Harry opened the door out onto the gallery deck, letting Y/N wander out first. She raised her eyebrows some but did as she supposed he wanted her to. Walking out onto the deck, the wind hit her hard across the face. If you stood directly facing it, it was impossible to open your eyes completely. She could see what Harry meant by this being a method to wake up some.

“Please,” Harry said. “Go along.”

Y/N furrowed her brows, but walked further onto the deck, even though she was sure Harry would’ve fit perfectly fine next to where she had originally standing.

“I’ll owe you my life if you just go along for a minute or two, yeah?”

Y/N’s frown deepened as she looked at him. “What?”

“I don’t usually do this,” Harry grinned. “I mean, I never do this. I’ve never done this before. But, you see…” He walked closer to her, taking her face in his hands. “My mum and my sister think I’ve got a girlfriend and I don’t.”

Y/N’s heart instantly melted, and she felt herself grinning right back at him.

“I was wondering, if it’s not too much to ask, of course, if you’d like to be my girlfriend? My real, proper girlfriend.”

She laughed, shaking her head at him before taking a grip of his shirt and bringing him closer. Though she didn’t know why Harry needed to do this at the top of the lighthouse, right under the light that guided sailors home, she didn’t mind. This felt right. This felt like them. This was them. It was real, it felt silly, unexpected, and a little odd, but that was what it felt like being with Harry.

She looked up into his eyes, grinning from ear to ear. “I’ll be your real, proper girlfriend.”

Harry let out a breath of relief and grinned down at her, bringing her closer to him and planting a misplaced kiss onto her lips. They both giggled against one another. It hadn’t struck Y/N until now that they hadn’t made it official like this. Too much had been on her mind, she hadn’t allowed much else besides the UCAT to take up her time prior to this moment, but how that it had finally happened, Y/N felt just as relieved as Harry looked to be. She was glad that Harry had waited until now, after the UCAT, to ask, and she was also very glad to see how eager he had been to ask her.

Harry pulled away, detaching a hand from where it had rested at her neck, and held out a bellflower that he had picked outside the cottage. Reaching forward, he placed the bellflower behind Y/N’s ear, smiling to himself as he looked at it, the smile widening as he met her eyes. Y/N felt like she could burst with happiness in that very moment, probably lighting up all the oceans of the world with how much she was radiating.

“My bell room,” Harry said, touching the bellflower resting by her ear before he brought her in for another kiss.

A HUGE thank you to my amazing and beautiful beta readers! Couldn’t have written ST without them! 🌊 @aileenacoustic 🌊 @bopbopstyles 🌊 @fromyourstrulyh 🌊 @harrys-shrooms 🌊 @honeydearly 🌊 @sunflowers-styles 🌊 @watermelonsuger 🌊 @withallthelove-a 🌊

And so it’s over 😭 Thank you thank you thank you! From the bottom of my heart, thank you to each one of you who have been reading, reblogging, come to chat, or sent any sort of love ST’s way the last few months! There is something so liberating and beautiful about creating a world in which you feel peace, and then find that others find that same peace, that same sense of belonging, within the same world as you 💖 Each one of you remind me of why I continue to share my writing on here! Thank you for making writing, Tumblr, and fic fun! You all have my heart 💘 I LOVE YOU 💞💞

As for next fic project, as I’ve gotten quite a few questions about that already !! I’m gonna take a break from writing! Maybe a month, maybe two, dunno! I’ll still be writing some deleted scenes from ST and posting onto my Patreon, but as for a full 10+ chaptered fic, which is what I want to write next, I don’t know! But, as always, I’ll be tagging my posts with new fic tags and planning whenever I get an idea !!!! So keep an eye out lmao !!!!

Besides that, here are two songs I imagine would be playing if the end credits to ST was rolling right now 🐚 You can find the rest of the ST playlist here!

As ST!Harry said, I love you immeasurably, and as Jessa said, you’ll always have a home and a place you belong, here, in the ST universe 🌊

Your bestie, Nora ✨✨

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#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #1dff #I'M SO SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD #BUT ALSO CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR WHAT YOU LOT THINK!!!!

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the-fiction-witch · 4 years ago

Text

NSFW 100 Paul

1. What's the dirtiest thought you've ever had about a total stranger? About a stranger? Ohh I don't know? Maybe that time I thought about having sex with that girl with the huge boobs in the bus but that was years ago.

2. Do you prefer sex at night, in the morning, mid-afternoon, or NOW? I like morning sex, theses something sweet and cuddly about it

3. What's your favourite way to be seduced? It's gonna sound weird but like pet me, like run your hands down my arm, or my neck, or stoke my chest or my hips or something just literally touch me and I uhhh I am good.

4. What's the dirtiest fantasy you've had at work? At work? What are we counting as work? Because I don't really think about much other then music.

5. How would you dominate your boss sexually if given the chance? Who are we classing as my boss? Our manager? Ooohh noo no no thank you.

6. What do you do when you get horny in public? Just kinda... Untuck my shirt and use it to cover my pants. And usually notify my girlfriend to uhh help with that.

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom? No! Have you been in a men's public bathroom. I don't even wanna go in there unless I absolutely have to and even then if I can't just piss in a bush, there usually three blow jobs, a murder, a drug deal and someone with horrific diahrea... I don't wanna step food in there.

8. What's the weirdest thing you've thought about while touching yourself? I don't know I don't really think all that much, I thought about a cup of tea once but to be fair I did just want one when I was finished so...

9. What's the strangest prop you've used to get yourself off? ...... A shower head. Look we have an old rickety shower okay! And when the water comes out the whole head like moves and stuff we had to put an elastic band around it so it actually stayed on the wall it moved around so much and, one night after me and y/n has been, kissing a little in the early dating stages I kinda just held it to my shaft and ... You can imagine what happened

10. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused? Yes! The first time y/n came over in this little blue dress she had always worn fairly high neck dresses and such but uhh this was a uhh well low cut and I saw cleavage and boobs and I uhh yeah I got very very hard.

11. Who gave you your first orgasm? I did! We technically my pillow did, same night after y/n had gone home I uhh yeah kinda just wrapped my legs around the pillow thinking about her and next thing I knew I was cumming. That was an eventful day.

12. Do you remember what that first orgasm felt like? Not at all. All I remember was that it hit like a tone if bricks and I had to bite the pillow so I didn't scream

13. Have you ever had sex with someone whose name you never knew? Not sex. I've got a blow job from someone I didn't know the name off but that was before me and y/n where dating.

14. What's your favourite thing about a quickie?

Hearing her trying to be quiet it's so adorable and cute.

15. What the most sexually daring thing you've ever done?

Sex onna bus! Yeah we where heading home to my flat one night after a gig and we where sat at the back of the bus all alone and I pulled her on my lap and we uhh yeah we had sex.

16. Have you ever fantasized about fucking one of your teachers? No I have not. That's a weird thing to do.

17. Do you ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks? Nope. I do not have the time or the thought capacity

18. And then imagine, in dirty detail, what it would be like to fuck them? Nope. You know who I imagine does thought. John.

19. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Yes.... George. John dared us! I got him back I made him show is cock at a gig.

20. What inspires you to make the first move? Ummm Im not sure, usual just the thought comes into my head we have been sitting her a while or kissing a while or whatever so my hands just kinda take that as there sign to uhh do something already.

21. In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed? To pleasure your lover.

22. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend because you just couldn't help yourself? No! I saw the other boys do it and saw how it ruined everything, I love y/n far to much to ever hurt her like that.

23. Have you ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush? No!

24. Do you have a go-to masturbation fantasy? Y/n climbing out my shower wrapped up in her little towel, dripping wet, coming into my bedroom putting my shirt on and nothing else and getting all cosy in my bed and maybe playing with herself a little... But I'm usually done by then

25. What kind of porn turns you on? I don't mind some of the magazines, not the ones where there like fully naked I like the little linguee and long shirts kinda magazines

26. Have you ever had sex with your eyes closed? Many times, not on purpose I just get overexcited and shut my eyes

27. Have you ever blindfolded or handcuffed your partner? No, but... If y/n would like to I have no issue with that.

28. Does naughty talk get you aroused?

Yes... 29. Are you sure about that, my dirty little forest nymph of a sex god?

Never sure my sexy babydoll

30. What's the dirtiest thing someone's ever said to you during sex?

I don't know honestly she doesn't talk all that much

31. Have you ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing?

No!

32. Have you ever watched another couple have sex with their permission?

No! What is with the pervy questions!

33. How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their "third"?

No thank you I have a beautiful girlfriend and I am very content with her

34. What's the most flattering thing someone's said about your naked body?

So beautiful, so sexy, I want you inside me now!

Yeah we both went a little nuts that day

35. When's the last time you had a vivid sex dream?

Like three weeks ago, I don't sex dream all that much maybe were having to much sex to make me horny in my dreams?

36. What do you think an orgy would be like?

Hot, sweaty and gross, no thank you

37. Have you ever propositioned a total stranger?

A couple of times usually egged on by john, but the most that ever came out of it was a blow job

38. What does your ideal one-night stand look like?

A nice sexy time, maybe a spoony cuddle, a cup of tea and then off home

39. How long does it take you to get yourself off, on average?

Myself about twenty minutes but I don't usually count when I'm with y/n

40. What's the weirdest thing that turns you on?

Seeing her in my clothes... That does things to me that I can't explain but it's so hot! My shirts, my boxers, ummm she looks so good!

41. Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member?

I guess y/n counts before we where together as she was one of my best friends

42. Have you ever woken up humping your pillow?

Yes. Many times.

43. When's the last time you orgasmed in your sleep?

Years ago. I don't do that anymore now I just wait till I see y/n luckily she usually right in bed with me

44. What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you while hooking up?

John walked in on us during a uhh delicate time, as I was literally about to fucking cum! And now he knows to fucking knock!

45. Do you like touching yourself in front of the people you sleep with?

Many times y/n likes to watch me sometimes, and she likes to call me up and listen to me while I listen to her

46. What's the dirtiest text you've ever sent or received?

Well she once handed me a note that said "My house tonight parents are out x p.s being by favorite toy please xxx" ummm just thinking about it makes me hard.

47. Do you prefer professional or amateur porn?

Amateur!

48. What's your favourite blowjob technique?

Uhhhh suck I guess I don't know if you have it in your mouth I'm happy

49. If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

I think I am... Submissive. Just a little bit, maybe a lot

50. Is there anything you won't do in bed?

Anything with anal can fuck off on me or her

51. What's your dirtiest sexual fantasy?

Y/n coming in the room in my shirt pulling me around by my tie, tieing me to the bed and ummmm letting her do whatever she wants to me and I'd be bad just so she'd spank me.

52. How many people have you slept with?

Uhhh I think two. Maybe three? But I think two.

53. Where's the weirdest place you've had sex?

On john's apartments kitchen counter, he and the other guys went out to get take out for dinner and uhh we may have had sex on his counter top... Sorry John.

54. What's your favourite part of Y/n's body?

Her boobs. Or her hips I like both

55. Have you ever had anal sex?

Yes and it can fuck the hell off! I do not get what guys love about it so much it was had for me bad for her, the only time it was tolerable was when it was me! Ohh... I don't think I should have said that.

56. If you could choose what Y/n was wearing right now, what would you choose?

My blue boxer shorts and my red button down... Ummm with half the buttons undone

57. Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched?

My chest, I like when she pets me there.

58. If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Our bed of course?

59. When did you first had sex?

Ohh it was a terrible night, bent her over a bench in the park, the boys could hear us it was a weird time and I didn't enjoy much of it at all as I really liked y/n and this was just some pub girl named alice then but after it I got some courage and asked y/n out and we've been happy ever since

60. What's the best sex you've ever had?

The first time we did it in my apartment, we could be loud, we could take as long as we wanted, we could be kinky, we didn't have any worries and it was amazing!!

61. What's your favourite position?

I like to be ridden. But what boy doesn't?

62. Have you ever been caught having sex?

Yes, many times, john, my dad, her mum, all of my band, we get caught alot

63. Do you watch porn? I look at magazines

64. What kind of porn do you watch?

Magazines

65. How often do you masturbate?

Before y/n and I where dating actually even we where dating, before we became sexual in our relationship, twice a day at least now... I don't I literally haven't for over a month y/n takes care of me now

66. Name a sex position you'd like to try?

I wanna try reverse cowgirl so badly!!

67. Do you prefer to give or receive?

Give! I like hearing her gasp and moan for me

68. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes! It was fun I wanna go again but it's really really cold.

69. What's the most sex you've had in a day?

Ten I believe is the record.

70. Are you loud or quiet during sex?

Loud, we are not a quiet couple

71. Have you ever tried using food during foreplay?

Yes! We used honey my god it was so sticky never again!

72. What's the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone?

Personality, the boobs.

73. Would you say you have any fetishes?

I like to be spanked. And tied up.

74. When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go?

She has tied me up, and she spanked me sometimes, and... We may have done anal on me but that's it

75. What's your favourite toy?

Either the shower head or... Y/ns little spanking paddle she keeps at mine

76. Do you ever read erotic fiction?

No, but that sounds fun

77. Have you joined the mile high club?

No but I shall one day I vow to do so!

78. Do you think you could take off Y/n underwear with no hands?

I know I can I have done it many times I use my teeth and my tongue

79. Would you say you're kinky?

I don't think I am that kinky but y/n is and I just allow her to do whatever she wants to me

80. Do you enjoy shower sex?

Yes!! It's so good, so warm, and wet and the shower is good too, plus we get to use the shower head on each other fucking hell she sqeauls!

81. Where's the weirdest place you've ever masturbated?

Under the table at the school library, I couldn't stop thinking about y/n and yeah I uhh did that

82. Do you like to be spanked?

Yes... but only when I've been a bad boy

83. Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex?

Once, the first time, I imagined she was y/n

84. If y/n caught you masturbating, would you stop or would you finish?

I would do whatever she asked me too but I know she'd likely wanna watch me finish for her

85. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush?

Not really, y/n was pretty normal a crush so no.

86. Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex?

I have cried many times,

87. Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex?

I like it but it tends to make me louder and more needy

88. Do you like to kiss during sex?

Very much, the more kisses the better

89. Do you get tired after sex?

I do, usually I cuddle up to y/n and give her a kiss and we fall asleep in each other's arms

90. How many positions do you think you've tried?

Uhh not all that many four I would say as a guess

91. What's the longest you've ever gone without sex

I guess about a week, if we are not counting before time

92. How high is your sex drive?

Medium, y/n has a higher drive then I do

93. What's a surefire way to turn you on?

Rub your hand across my neck as we kiss and all the way down till your rubbing my cock, fuck it makes me hard!

94. Sex with lights on or lights off?

On! I wanna see what's going on

95. Do you like dirty talk?

I like when she calls me a bad boy, especially if she is also rubbing on my cock or spanking me at the same time the dirty talk adds to it

96. Do you prefer one night stands or longer-term sexual partners?

Long term

97. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom?

Bottom!

98.Rough or romantic?

Romantic

99. Quickie or marathon session?

Marathon! I wanna go for hours and hours!

100. What's the best thing about our sex life?

Awww, that we have complete faith in one another I don't worry about you while I'm gone and you know you don't have to worry about me, so when we get together again I get to have my perfectly smutty girly that I love ever so much, that and it's fun when the boys ask where I get my brusies from and I get to say there hikis from my sexy girlfriend, even if they are in usually places.

52 notes · View notes

jarofstyles · 4 years ago

Text

Level Up IV

A/N: Hi!! We’re coming up on the end, there’s one more part of this series left! but don’t be discouraged... We have something very special plan for them, something about college 👀 Hope you enjoy! - n + d

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pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

warnings: none really, just fluff 🥺🥺

word count: 8.9k

Y/N and Harry’s relationship was wonderful. Since making things official a month ago, the two of them had spent a lot of time together and though not many people knew about them being a couple, they made sure they formed a bond that went beyond what other people thought. Y/N was constantly over at Harry’s house and to her surprise, her mother was okay with it. Of course, she would have wanted to see the two of them together in person herself, but she had met Harry before. She knew that whenever they were ready to properly come over for dinner they would. It was Y/N who was more afraid of meeting his family. He said that they’d love her, but she could tell that they were protective of him. They would have to meet sooner or later, especially with prom coming up.

Harry’s home was often empty, his sister off doing her own thing at college while his mom and dad were usually gone working. He didn’t mind it though, it just meant he could be with Y/N more. She would come over after school and they would study, play games, and now that it was warm outside they could go in his pool. But now that it was prom season and they’d been seeing each other for a good four months and dating for a month, he felt like he needed to step up his game. Harry knew that prom was something that was important to her. For a while, he was stumped on how to ask her but he figured the best way was to be sincere. He was just a smitten kitten, half in love with her if not in love already, and he was doing his best to be a good boyfriend to her.

Tonight, he decided to take her to the movies, but Harry had a whole private prom proposal ready, hidden in the back of his truck. It wasn’t traditional, but it was something that he knew she would like. It was romantic. He was still shy in a general sense but Y/N had truly opened him up and out of his shell.

‘Babe, you coming?’

Y/N was excited to go on an actual date with Harry. They had usually just kept to hanging out at his house and sleepovers, they’d never really gone out. So of course, Y/N let herself get all dressed up. Not too much, but enough for wherever he was taking her. She had told her mom she wouldn’t be home tonight so that she didn’t expect her and looked down at her phone to see that Harry had shot her a text.

‘Yes baby, I’m on my way! Be there in less than 5! 💓’

Those were the perks of living so close to your boyfriend's house. With a little bit of a nervous step, Y/N walked towards Harry’s house and paused when she saw him leaning against the door all expectantly.

“Hi!” She giggled and walked towards him, admiring his outfit and how he had actually gotten dressed up too. “Aw, babe, you look so handsome!” Y/N smiled, wrapping her arms around him before leaning up for a kiss.

“Hi.” Harry smiled widely, taking in her looks. She was beautiful. Every time. I took his damn breath away and he couldn’t believe that she wanted to be his. The kiss made his stomach flutter even now. Who would have guessed that nerdy little Harry would be dating the most sought after woman in school? He surely didn’t. He had wanted her to be his for forever and yet here she was. He wanted to keep her. She seemed to be on board. “I’m glad you think so.” He had put on a flannel shirt and skinny jeans that Y/N had bought for him, trying to look decent. He had his glasses off and contacts in for the time since he got them, but his hair was still a bit of a floppy mess. She had begged him to play with it sometime and he would definitely let her. He didn’t know what to do with it. “Are you ready? Can just put your bag up in my room and we can go.” She had stuff here, like sleep stuff and a toothbrush but Harry was considering asking her if she wanted a drawer or a spot in his closet. That was probably the next step.

Y/N pulled away and admired him for a little, moving her hands up to fix his hair only a little bit before pressing another kiss to his lips. “You always look handsome... but you also look nice when you dress up” She said, nodding at him as he said to go put her things in his room. She followed him back inside and ran up the stairs to put her bag down on his bed before running back down and grabbing his hand, “Come on! Let’s go!” Y/N giggled, patiently waiting for him to lock the door before they made their way to his car. It was nice to see him like this. He seemed a lot more confident and even though he wasn’t dressed like he usually was, he seemed to feel completely comfortable. He didn’t really look like he did at school, Y/N could recognize that curly mop of hair anywhere, but people probably wouldn’t.

Harry double checked that the promposal shit was hidden away from view under the back seat again, just to be sure. Y/N was going to be happy with it, he felt. He loved making her smile and while he hadn’t planned on going to any prom, he was happy to if he meant Y/N would be there and be that happy little self. It meant a lot to her, apparently.

“Someone’s excited.” He chuckled, holding her hand tightly as she slipped to the car. He had taken her on a few dates but this one was definitely the most nerve wracking for him. The movie would be a comedy so she would be in a good mood. Hopefully in an even better one with his surprise for her.

“Yeah! Course I am.” Y/N smiled, “like going on proper dates, though I like our nights in too.” She said and shrugged, honestly it was just nice to get to spend time with Harry whenever she could. Y/N was starting to fall for him and quite hard. No one had ever been so attentive and gentle with her as he was, it was always okay to be soft with him and baby him. It made her feel needed and wanted. “Plus, I like showing you off when I can.” Y/N said and squeezed his hand a bit. He never thought of himself as someone she would want to show off and it was a shame because she happily held his hand at school and made sure to kiss him when she could. It was important to her that he knew how special he was. “Are you excited?” She asked curiously, admiring him as he drove. Y/N was already feeling so giddy just seeing him like this. Without his glasses he seemed so... so different. You wouldn’t look at him like this and think he was the nerdy guy from school.

“I am, baby. I like seein’ you excited.” Harry was just happy to spend time with her and observe her. She was fun just to watch and enjoy how she lit up entire rooms with her voice and smile. “Showin’ me off? How? M’just one of them normal teenage boys to the rest of the world. For some reason you see me as an amazing thing.”

“Like walking around with you and holding your hand and kissing on you so everyone knows your mine...” Y/N explained, “not just a normal teenage boy to me... you’re the most amazing one.” She was damn near close to telling him she loved him but she was holding out for the perfect moment. At school, Y/N was never ashamed to walk around confidently with Harry but Harry seemed a little bit more shy. It made sense though, not many were nice to him. In public he seemed to let go more, feel more at ease and sometimes was bold enough to pull her in for a kiss if she was lucky. “I’m happy to be around you. I really like that you aren’t... embarrassed. I know we’re still workin’ on it. I’m just... I dunno. It feels really nice to just be able to have someone be proud of you.” She was proud to be around him and that was amazing.

“I know you don’t exactly get what I mean. That’s alright. I’m really proud of being out with you too. I guess it’s still that bit of trauma, in a sense. Always worried someone is gonna make fun of you for being with me. I know you don’t care. I do, though. Makes me so angry to even think of someone bein’ mean.” He huffed to himself, that wasn’t at all something he liked. “But I really like when you do that stuff. I mean the kissing on me and stuff. I know you know that m’possessive over you, a bit. That side of me doesn’t usually come out unless we’re... y’know.” He blushed. When they were fooling around. “But, I like that people know we’re together when we go out.”

He was right, they were working on it and it was going to take a bit of time until he felt fully comfortable and wasn’t afraid anymore. “I know baby...” Y/N sighed, rubbing over his knuckles. “Just gotta make it through till graduation yeah? People won’t care about that kind of stuff in college... we won’t have to worry about that anymore.” The two of them were both tip toeing around the idea of going to the same school. It was very likely that they’d both go to Princeton or Harvard. Maybe even Yale. Regardless, Ivy League. Y/N already said she wanted to go where ever he was going because it didn’t matter. It really didn’t. “Yeah, I know.” Y/N giggled when he mentioned how possessive he got when they got intimate. It was cute to her hoe he got so embarrassed, especially with the things he often said to her when they were in that state. After seeing that dominant side of him come out for the first time a few weeks ago when he told her to come and sit on his face, Y/N hadn’t been able to look at him the same. That’s all she could think about.

Harry was happy because of the fact it had been pretty clear to both of them that they wanted to stay together. A lot of kids in school knew they’d break up with their lovers after graduation but Harry was fairly confident they’d end up making the same decision on schools. It wouldn’t be necessary. They’d just... figure. All out together.

“I think I’ll be a lot more comfortable in college. It’s like a fresh start.” He thought. And Y/N would be there and it would be the best possible scenario. He wanted her to be as close as possible. It was so rare that he had found someone he clicked so positively with. So rare, it was magical.

They pulled up to the theater and Harry held her hand as they made their way up, paying for the tickets before they went to get snacks. “Okay... popcorn and what else, angel?” He spoke softly, rubbing his thumb over the top of her hand. He knew she loved salty and buttery popcorn and the theater was the best for that.

Y/N stayed close to Harry, leaning on his arm a bit whenever they stood in line. “Can we get the sour watermelon things too? And you pick what chocolate candy you want... do you want to share an icee?” Harry was really good with asking for things and ordering them which might come as a surprise to most, but she let him do most of the talking because it just felt more comfortable for her to have it that way. To think that this could become more of a regular thing for them in college, where they wouldn’t have to think about anyone but themselves and make friends that wanted to hang out with the two of them. It would be so refreshing actually to just be free. They were mostly independent already, their parents were surprisingly okay with it. Y/N wondered if he would want to live with her.

Once they got all their stuff, Y/N helped him carry the lighter stuff into the theater and followed him wherever he decided to sit. She didn’t realize it was one of those fancy theaters where the seats reclined and you had to pick where you sat when you bought the tickets... but it was cool.

“C’mon then.” He teased as she looked around. He had chosen the back, near the middle. No particular reason besides if they wanted to kiss, no one would be watching. It was a bit of an emptier theater because it was more expensive and he only saw 2 other couples so he felt more relaxed. He placed the snacks down and lifted up one of the arms of the recliners so there wasn’t very much separating them before he sat down again, bringing them back to his lap. She had gotten the right idea by setting up next to him and leaning her head on his shoulder while sneaking some popcorn. A chuckle left him as he transferred the bucket closer to her, leaning back against the seat.“Good?”

Y/N felt comfortable with their set up, it was almost as good as it was at his house, but it felt new and special. She liked that they were out of the house and doing something fun because Harry didn’t seem to go out much anyway. If going out on dates with her was his excuse to go out, they could go whenever. She looked up at him with a smile and let out a little hum, still chewing her popcorn so she took a few pieces and went to feed him too. There would be a few minutes before the movie started so they could get all cozy and comfortable and chat for a bit in the mean time.

“You picked a good spot.” Y/N mumbled softly, taking a sip of the icee before looking down at their array of snacks. “Any reason I’m particular?” She asked curiously, genuinely wondering why he chose the back. Part of her knew it was because they wouldn’t be seen if they wanted to do stuff, but then again there were cameras in the theater.

“Cause... don’t know. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to kiss at all. People do that stuff at the movies, yeah?” Harry was teasing her, but also genuinely didn’t know. He was hoping that he could get a smooch or two. “I also just didn’t feel like I needed to look over my shoulder the whole time.” It was a force of habit. He was always picked on from behind and part of him still worried about the chances of someone coming from behind and splashing a Soda over his head or some shit. “Don’t worry about it though, we’re good.” He snuggled into the seat more and felt himself relax a bit more. It was odd because Y/N just had that odd and easy effect, making her feel a lot more at ease than he ever had. “Should have chosen a scary movie so you’d cuddle on me more but, want us in a good mood.”

Y/N smiled and let out a little giggle, nodding her head. “Just teasing... course I want to kiss and stuff.” She reminded him and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips that now tasted like blue raspberry and buttered popcorn. She couldn’t be too mad at that either. Whatever made him more comfortable was alright with her at the end of the day. Maybe she just never realized just how much the bullying had affected the smaller parts of his life. She felt like she needed to pay attention to these things more, she never wanted to put him in an uncomfortable situation. “No! I’ll still cuddle you tight, I promise.” Y/N said with a pout. She hated scary movies, she could never sleep right after them and though she would have Harry with her the whole night, she wouldn’t be okay all the other nights. “Like watching them only if I know what happens the whole time...” Y/N blushed, it was her anxiety kicking in.

“You’re a nut.” Harry snickered. His little angel. Seriously? This is how she was? He was in love. So silly, but so cute all at the same time. The movie began and he could feel her settle next to him with her soft mouth against his arm while she took a break from popcorn. Little chuckles leaving her every so often. He was hyper aware of every touch and every movement she made. It was his own personal heaven. Harry moved his arm to hang over her shoulder and played with her hair as it played, feeling relaxed. This was how college would be. He could take her on dates and feel excited and proud and not like he had to hide. No one would know he was a nerd. They’d have a unbiased opinion.

---------------

The movie was good, but Y/N was definitely still paying attention to Harry. Y/N wanted to stay aware of how he was feeling, listening to his heart beat as a constant but also feeling how relaxed his muscles seemed to be. It made her feel nice knowing her was comfortable with her, because whenever they were at school he was much more tense. At one point, Y/N turned her head to look up at him just to admire him as he focused and let out little breathy laughs at the scenes of the movie. She loved his little dimple that wasn’t leaving his face, he was in a happy and goofy mood and that was certainly her favorite. Her baby.

Y/N leaned up and pressed a kiss to his jawline, rested her head on his shoulder again as she moved the snacks off to the side so they could properly cuddle. Her hand went up the side of his flannel, not suggesting anything, but simply resting it there out of comfort.

Harry loved when she touched him like this. So simple but I timiate in the sense that no one else would or could do that. No one would ever touch him the way he liked besides Y/N. He turned his head to kiss her temple, humming happily before settling back in. Her bare shoulder gave him more access so he trailed his fingers around the area and happily got a feel of her skin while he let her relax with him. The movie was alright but mostly he enjoyed being around his Y/N. His girl. Letting her sit with him and give the attention she craved, while being cuddled and able to hold her was his dream. All while they had been able to eat buttery popcorn.

“D’ya think that we’ll be able to go on more dates when we leave this town? Even better ones?” He spoke his thoughts into her hair.

“Mhm.... lots.” Y/N mumbled softly, “Can do whatever we want, yeah? All kinds of dates... surprise ones, planned ones...” She felt like the two of them would be really good at keeping up with dates. The whole part of keeping a relationship health was to never stop dating. To go out and to kiss and to cuddle and have sex. Make time for each other to make each other feels special. That’s what it’s all about. She had big plans for them. An apartment for just the two of them, maybe even a pet? A wonderful group of friends, spots that they could go to and call their own? That was the dream for her, to move away from here and make a new life for the two of them that would be bigger and better. Everyone said nothing really matters in highschool. “I’m really happy I met you...” Y/N mumbled softly, knowing that technically they met a long time ago, but she was glad she got to meet this version of him. The grown version of him that she took care of and... loved.

“Yeah?” Harry smiled, leaning down to kiss her nose. “Me too. Can’t wait to get out of this town with you.” It had been unspoken that they would go together but it was more often now than before that they’d act like this. That they’d get to work with one another and move out, start a life together. To some it was probably a lot and probably something that they wouldn’t be down for. It was probably doubtful for a lot of them as well. But he knew that they could make it. He had no doubts whatsoever. He wanted to work on it with her. He was surprised when she turned in the chair to kiss him fully on the mouth but recovered quickly, hand on her waist to stabilize her. As much as he wanted her all the way in his lap, he knew he had to wait until later. He felt needy for touches and wanted so badly to get her closer.

Y/N didn’t really care about the movie now that she was having a sweet moment with her man. The kiss was maybe a bit of a surprise to him, but she knew he would melt right into it the second he realized what was happening. She smiled against his mouth as he started to relax, cupping his jaw to keep him in place. It was slow and sweet, definitely had a little bit of passion behind it but she didn’t want to work him up at the movie theater. That wouldn’t be very nice. So, she let him take control of the kiss and slowly herself down a bit, following his actions and humming against this lips. The movie would be over soon. She never wanted to push him to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with and she knew he likely wanted to wait till a special night till she took his virginity. They had done just about everything else at this point so it was all up to him.

Harry loved kissing. Y/N was incredible and he could do it for hours and hours if given the chance. Her mouth was plush and warm and a little sticky from the icee and tasted sweet, making for an incredible canvas to kiss. Harry licked into her mouth a little bit, shifting their bodies so it was more comfortable to kiss. It felt incredible. Especially with how she was so accommodating when it came to Harry and his nerves. They’d done a bit of everything. Dry sex, oral, hands. Harry had a few things he really wanted to try, but he would bring them up later. His hand slipped under her dress a little bit. Not too far up, but enough to caress her thighs. They were delicious thighs, to be fair. He kissed on them a lot.

Okay, so they were fully making out in the movie theater.

Y/N couldn’t say she minded, especially with how enthusiastic Harry seemed and how his hand so easily slipped up her dress to caress her thigh. She didn’t expect this from him but then again, he wasn’t the one who initiated the kiss. The hand that was cupping his jaw moved down to his neck, allowing the tips of her fingers to toy with his hair just a little bit. Y/N knew if they didn’t stop soon she would get too worked up and then she certainly wouldn’t let him leave without also feeling her pain. She hesitantly pulled away from his lips, feeling him chase after her lips but she hid her face in his neck and let out a whine.

“Gotta stop before I get too excited...” Y/N mumbled against his skin, letting out a shaky breath.

She saw him a few days ago and they hung out at his and played some games and then they sort of just played around with one another and held hands. It was sort of a lazy day. The two of them were horny buggers though, so a few days seemed like a lot.

“Sorry.” Harry wasn’t sorry though. He liked getting her excited. The fact that he ever could was a marvel to him but he liked it a lot. Especially because she was so eager all the time and let him play around with her. Spread her legs and let him go to town. “Just like lovin’ on you, baby.” His voice was a bit deeper when he spoke like that. Harry didn’t want to stop, but he would because she needed that. They couldn’t fuck in the movies. At least, not this time. They could probably get away with it at a lower class one if they really wanted to. Hmmm. The remainder of the movie though, he kept his hand on her waist and would periodically kiss her cheek or nose or temple. Barely paying attention to the screen, mostly on her.

She surely couldn’t focus now. It was a shame really, because Harry paid money for them to watch this movie and she was enjoying it. Of course, now all she wanted was to continue on kissing him and making a mess of him because he deserved it for being such a good boyfriend to her. With her past boyfriends, Y/N was never this eager to please. Y/N never wanted to kiss and lick and suck every part of someone as badly as she wanted to with Harry. Maybe it was because he was so sweet and responsive, or maybe it was because he didn’t quite understand just how sexy he was. Regardless, he made her go crazy with desire. Once the movie was finally over, Y/N let out a breath of relief. She got up and took all the snacks that they didn’t finish into her free hand so Harry could take the trash. She was itching to get back home. To strip out of these clothes and get all cozy under his covers and talk more except this time they’d be naked.

“We’ve got one more place to go.” Harry smiled mischievously. Oh, Y/N wasn’t going to want to miss it. It wasn’t going to be as grand or as showy, in fact it was more of the place and act of itself that would be the gesture, but he knew that she would like it. And the way it was presented. She looked confused but Harry wasn’t going to give. Helping her in the car he just shrugged and jogged around to the front, trying not to seem as nervous as he was as he drove to the lookout point. His parents had found it when they were younger and it overlooked the whole city. No one ever really went up there because it was up a dirt road, but Harry knew it all too well. It was a special spot for him. Y/N was confused when he said they had another spot to go to. She was a little huffy because she was horny, but she complied and got in the car, keeping an eye out for where he was taking her.

“I’m not gonna murder you.” Harry teased again as they began up the dirt road. “I wanted to show you something.”

Y/N’s head snapped back to look at him, furrowing her brows at him jokingly. “That’s exactly what a murderer would say.” She teased, letting out a laugh so he knew she was joking. The dirt road seemed to lead to nowhere, but Harry was confidently driving up there so he clearly knew where they were going. Once they reached the top Y/N gasped, realizing just what he was showing her. It was their whole little city. Home sweet home. The place where they met and... fell in love? Was it okay for her to say that? She wasn’t sure but she was confident in her feelings. Now more than ever.

Harry was terrified but also confident. A strange mix but Y/N always made him feel a plethora of things. It wasn’t at all difficult to comprehend why. He knew that she would say yes. But the even slight prospect of his asking not being good enough was the scary part. He wanted to provide for her. To be a good partner for her. Yes, he was well aware of the fact that it was so incredibly early on for them to dream of such things but he wanted to be with her forever. His perfect girl.

“Wait right there.” He opened the door and jogged our to her side, opening the door for her. He had backed the truck up so the back would be facing the view and they’d be able to overlook it. Knowing her well enough, he knew that this would mean far more than a poster and balloons and all her ‘friends’ being involved. She would cherish the intimacy of it. He had set up in the trunk of the car in a mess of blankets and pillows. He also had those battery operated string lights he used a remote to turn on for her. It illuminated the back and inside was a little basket with treats, and a special question she would see when she opened it. “Uh... surprise?”

Y/N melted at the sweet sentiment, her hands rested over her heart as she admired the beautiful set up. Harry had planned this all for her, he’d never done this with anyone else. It made her feel far more special knowing that this was also the first time anyone had ever done something like this for her. A moment the two of them could share as a first and hopefully the first of many.

“Baby...” She let out a happy sigh, turning to look at him again. He looked so nervous, so worried that maybe she wouldn’t like it. How could she not? Y/N took his hands into hers and cupped his cheeks, getting up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. “It’s beautiful...” She whispered to him with a smile, wrapping her arms around his waist. “You really out did yourself, hmm?” She giggled, patting his side a bit. “Honestly Harry, this is so sweet....” Y/N couldn’t believe just how much she had lucked out. No one ever gave him a chance and maybe it was selfish of her to be thankful that they didn’t. She was glad that she was the one he got to experience all of these things with.

“Good. I was a little worried it would be a bit much or not enough. I dunno.” Harry said shyly. Still, he had thought of it all in his own and the place and everyone. He had won, hadn’t he? “We’re gonna hang out here for as long as you want and then go back to my place. I’ve got some treats for you.” His nerves were a wreck, helping her in the back of the truck before climbing in himself and settling next to her. “here, you choose first.”

The basket was a pink one made to look like a watermelon, seeing as it was her favorite. The inside had tons of snacks but on top it said a simple ‘prom?�� with a receipt to the online place she had so badly wanted a strawberry dress from. It was glittery and pink and had glitter strawberries and a sweetheart neckline, but it was $500. He used money he had stashed away and easily paid for it. It hadn’t come in time but it was the thought that counted, he thinks.

Y/N giggled when he placed her up in the back, getting comfortable among the pillows and blankets. However, the note caught her eye before she could really say anything and she looked blankly at it as if she had just misread it but—

“Really?” She asked with hopeful eyes, looking up at him with the brightest smile. “Yes! Oh my god! Yes!” Y/N nodded her head and practically climbed on top of him to attack his face with kisses. She didn’t know about the dress or about the snacks or anything yet, she was already over the moon at what her boyfriend had set up for her. It was perfect in every way. She pecked his lips a few times until she felt him push her back slowly before nodding at the basket. Confused, Y/N turned and reached to bring the basket closer to them, picking up the envelope with the order form for the dress. “No— Harry, you—” She looked at him with wide eyes. “Harry! That dress is like... crazy expensive you—” Y/N was at a loss for words. She didn’t know how she felt about him spending so much on her, especially because they were still in highschool.

He was quiet when she read it, heard pounding. But then, he was attacked by her and kissed all over, knocking the breath out of him slightly and still managing to laugh.

She had reacted far better than Harry had imagined! He was quiet when she read it, heart pounding. But then, he was attacked by her and kissed all over, knocking the breath out of him slightly and still managing to laugh. She was giving him the best thing ever, a yes and all the loving he wanted. He had actually done it right!

“But I adore you.” He said softly. “I don’t get my big money until m’21, but like.... I think you deserve it. You deserve to be able to be spoiled like this and given all the things you want.” He pecked her mouth a few times even with the pout she had at him spending so much money. “Went on and on about how amazing the dress was and how badly you wanted it and I wanted to do that for you. You don’t have to wear it to prom, it can just be a normal dress for you but I wanted to offer it to you.” He murmured softly, stroking his thumb over her cheekbone.

“I know but—” Y/N huffed, accepting the few pecks that he placed against her lips. “Thank you.” Y/N said nonetheless, deciding she just needed to accept it because that dress wasn’t going back. He wouldn’t let her, of course, but she knew once she put it on she’d be thankful he got it.

“I adore you.” She hummed season she leaned into his touch. The two of them had yet to really share their ‘I love yous’ so their expressions of adoration was what they settled with. “I really appreciate all of this, H... and just... everything you do for me, you’re so sweet... never let me forget how you feel and I never want to.” He tried so hard for her, always tried to make her the happiest girl alive, constantly praised her and even pushed his boundaries of comfort for her. “And I know I said it before but... you look really nice. Not that you don’t look nice everyday but... you look so good.”

“Thank you.” Harry blushed slightly as he felt her look him over. Still, he was caught off guard by how loving and sweet she truly could be. He loved being able to impress her. “You always look incredible. I think you’ll kill me prom night.” His smiled softened. “I.... never planned on going. It never felt right until you came along and genuinely wanted to be with me. Each bit of it made so much more sense as it went on. I knew we had to make it a good night for us both. But look more in there. I got snacks. Seriously.” He lightened the mood knowing there were a plethora of treats in there. Her favorites. White cheddar popcorn and chocolate covered pretzels, more sour watermelon sugar gummies, the works. “I have my laptop and... I have movies downloaded so you can choose one. Or we can sit and just look at our town and like… kiss. I never object to that.”

“You know we won’t end up watching that movie.” Y/N chuckled, staying put in his lap as she went to open some snacks for them to eat. “We graduate in just a few months...” Y/N let out a sigh, pushing her hair back behind her shoulders. “Have you um... have you thought about where you’re going to go in the fall?” She knew that the two of them had discussed it previously, but the undertone was much more different now. She handed him the bag of popcorn for him to take some while she went to bust open the sour gummies, trying to distract herself from the answer he was going to give. Y/N had a few ideas for college in her mind and obviously if they didn’t have to separate that would be ideal. She didn’t want to make him feel like she was choosing a school just because of him, but she was. “Cause like... I um... I don’t know if I could be away from you for long.” She said shyly, feeling heat rush to her cheeks. Maybe for some people it could feel a bit odd, but she had just gotten with him! She wanted to be with him all the time.

“Yeah? You want to be close?” Harry smiled. Good. He didn’t want to seem too clingy but he wanted to be around her 24/7 as well. They’d just gotten together and they got on so perfectly, it would be nearly criminal to separate them now! “Where were you thinking of going?” He stroked a bit of hair out of her face. “I was waiting a bit to see where you were headed before I made a sound decision. I didn’t want to seem clingy but I want to be at least in a place where we can be together. Same area.” Ideally same town and college and they could just... live it up together. Truly. “I do want to live off of campus wherever I go so.... if you aren’t going to where I am or want to... you can always just stay with me. Or whatever you want. I dunno.” He felt shy asking her about thar or implying she moved in with him when they didn’t even know options yet.

“Yeah?” Y/N raised her brows at his preposition, “cause, I was thinking... yeah that’d be nice.” She smiled at him so hard her cheeks hurt. “I know we said it was between Princeton and Yale... and I dunno, Princeton seems nice... it’s a cute town. Sure New Jersey isn’t great but.. at least it’s close to a beach and two major cities.” She wanted an adventure in college, but nothing would be complete without Harry in her book. Now that she had life with him she didn’t want to imagine it without. High school sweethearts often didn’t last but she could see herself with Harry for the long haul. “Have a fresh start... just, enjoy my life and have fun.” Y/N could already see them moving into a cute little apartment, maybe getting a pet?

“I know that a lot of people say like... don’t make sacrifices for a high school romance but it feels like so much more. I don’t think I would be upset or have it viewed as a sacrifice if it meant I get to be happy, finally.” Harry admitted. Y/N meant so much to him. He understood the ways that people got and how they would underestimate the fact that he was pretty positive he had met his soul mate but he was going to do this with her. “Yeah... I think that, we should see what our options are. I have offers for both so I just... I dunno. I want to be near tou.” He spoke softly. “It’ll feel like a real fresh start. Just us. Feel like adults and figure it out on our own. It’ll be good, I think. None of the nervousness we both have around here. It’s just us and we can make our lives what we actually want.”

Y/N couldn’t help but feel excitement bubble up at the thought of them being free. No more petty high school drama, no more waiting till the perfect time to see each other. The two of them, under one roof, sharing a bed together, completely and utterly in love.

“I’d love that...” She breathed out with a small smile. “Just, yeah... let me know what you’re thinking, I don’t mind either or I also just wanna be with you.” Y/N let out a hum towards the end, cupping the side of his neck and letting her thumb brush against his jawline. “Thank you for tonight... for the movie, for this... it’s... it’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” Y/N cooed, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. It was a sweet gesture, but she could see from the look on his face that he was expecting a proper kiss.

“Of course. I care about you so much.” Harry licked over his lip. All he wanted was her. Maybe it was the die hard romantic in him but he wanted her and to be happy with one another. That’s his goal. “Can we lay down for a bit? I just... I have to tell you something.” He felt his stomach roll in nerves because he wasn’t sure exactly what she would think about this but he was hopeful. So hopeful. “I was just... thinking a lot lately. About you. How much you mean to me.” He reaches over and brushed s but of her hair to the side. “How much I really, really like you. And I didn’t know if I was rushing this or not but it’s been a bit and I really think I can see us together for a long time.” He let out a shaky breath. “Is that something you see too? Like... we aren’t just chatting shit about going to the same places? You genuinely want to be with me right?” Ther was a bit of nervousness to his voice. “I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s still hard to believe that you’re mine and that you want to be with me. It’s amazing that you like me.”

“No, no... Harry...” Y/N frowned, moving her body closer to his the second she felt the hint of nervousness. “Of course I’m serious about us. I would never lead you on like that.” She said and attempted to soothe him, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his nose. “I know you still get nervous about these things and I’ll always be there to reassure you that I feel the way you do...” She spoke softly, “just wish there was more I could do for you to never have to wonder.” Y/N took a moment to think, watching his eyes carefully. She had been seeing him for a few months now, things were getting prettying serious and she didn’t see them ending anytime soon. She didn’t want to be the first to drop the L bomb, but it was practically on the tip of her tongue. “I want to be with you... for as long as you’ll have me.” Y/N smiled, feeling heat spread across her cheeks. “I love your goofy smile and the random fun facts you tell me everyday. I love the way you say my name when you’re annoyed with me. I love how you always know what I’m in the mood to eat. I love just about everything about you.”

“Okay... good.” Harry murmured, feeling his body settle with the nerves. He had been worried himself, that she wouldn’t want to do it for real but truly, she did. She was amazing. “I’m really glad that you feel that way cause... I dunno, I would be scared if you didn’t want that too.” He whispered. “I feel so much for you. So strongly. You’re just... incredible, Y/N. All I’ve ever wanted. My crush was so big and went on for so long, and now you’re here and you’ve made me gain so much confidence...” He swallowed, feeling hot around the collar. “Is it too early to say that I think m’falling in love with you? That I do?” He let it sit in the air for a moment. “I don’t truly know what love is yet. But I feel like.... the way I’ve been feeling and what I feel around you is what it would be. You don’t have to say it back if you don’t feel it or a thing but I was just... wanting to ask. To tell you.” He stuttered.

The smile that spread across Y/N’s face gave it all away. She couldn’t contain her happiness. She knew for a fact she had never felt this way about anyone in her life, knew that after getting to know him this school year and properly getting to know him these past few months, she could safely say she was falling for him. She felt like she had fallen already and she wasn’t afraid to say it.

“I’ve definitely fallen for you... I feel like I have. You make me so happy and I’m so proud to be with you and show you off and there isn’t a moment that passes where I don’t think about you or how you are.” She said softly, “always want to be around you, always want to kiss you and make you smile... fuck— and if anyone ever tries to say anything negative about you I’ll rip them a knew one I swear it!” Y/N couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the end, overwhelmed with happiness. “I love you, Harry. I really do.”

“Yeah?” Harry felt his heart swell with happiness. Fuck. He was so happy. She loved him too? She wanted him? It was exactly what he had always dreamed of. He gently pulled her towards him and kissed her. It wasn’t a hot kiss, but passionate. He was passionate about her. About them. He wanted her to feel and understand just how much he adored her. Because he did, so fuckinf much. He needed her. Wanted to make sure she was aware of the fact he would do anything for them. “I love you too, baby. So much.” He peppered kisses all around her face, smiling when she began to giggle. His thin fingers wrapped over her waist and he nuzzled his nose against hers like a puppy before pecking her lips again..“So it’s real then. You love me and I love you... and we’re gonna be together forever?” He hummed, happy to feel her rub her nose back against his. “M’gonna make sure I do everything in my power to keep this. Keep you.”

“Forever and ever.” Y/N hummed back, rubbing her nose against his once again before nuzzling her face into his neck. She pressed a few kisses to the soft skin and let out a happy sigh. Yes, forever is a big word when you’re in highschool, she knew that. Some could argue that they didn’t know what it meant to be in a proper relationship, it had only been a bit. However, she knew that she had to stay true to her feelings and take things day by day with Harry. She could genuinely see a future with him and she didn’t see why it was such a big deal. Sometimes highschool sweethearts really are meant to be, Y/N felt like their chances were pretty good.

“I’m so excited. For prom, for college, for us.” Y/N mumbled against his skin, “it’s going to be so fun. Can just be us two..” She was lucky that they lived so close to each other, she wouldn’t know what to do if they couldn’t see each other as often as they did.

It was. It was going to be amazing and he would make sure they both had that new fresh start. A chance to make new friends. A chance to be who they truly wanted and didn’t have to worry about anything else wirh.

“I can’t wait to just be alone with you. Have you stay with me.” Harry brushes some hair away from her and tried to keep her clear. He liked to groom her in that sense, with love. Keep her comfortable. “You’re stayin’ over Tonight, right? Oh wait, yeah.. You dropped off your bag.” He didn’t want to go to sleep without her but he could feel her getting sleepy. “Guess we can head on home then? and bring your prom prize up to my room to snack on tomorrow, hm?” He questioned. “Did y’want to go to the mall with me tomorrow? I preordered the new game at the store. Can get you the pretzel nuggets you like.”

“Mhm...” Y/N hummed, letting out a happy sigh against him. “I’m a minute!” She didn’t exactly want to let go just yet, she was so comfortable and this moment was far too perfect and peaceful. She’d remember this spot forever, the place where he asked her to prom and told her he loved her. With a few whines of disapproval, Y/N pulled back from him and helped Harry clean up the back of the truck so that they could place everything in the back and head home. The two of them practically functioned like a married off couple, they liked staying in and doing mundane things. It was exciting to Y/N though, she had the love of her life with her after all.

“Wait, we didn’t even get any pictures from tonight.” Y/N pouted, looking up at him with a pout. “Hold this!” She giggled, handing him the basket and the prom note so she could take a photo and keep the memory with her forever.

“Oh! Okay?” Harry laughed as she took the photos. “I didn’t think about that. I just knew that you wouldn’t want the huge prom promposal with the balloons and marching band and stuff.” She wasn’t shy but that amount of attention would make her uncomfortable and he knew that. But a sentimental piece would be much more meaningful. He wanted that bit of it all. He let her take as many as she wanted before letting her hold the basket and her beaming smile as he took them of her. It ended with him kissing her lips over and over again. “Love you so much, Y/N. My girl.” He sighed happily against her mouth. “Dunno what I would do without you.” And he knew he wouldn’t ever find out.

“I love you more!” She told him and gave him a few more kisses before climbing in the car excitedly. Y/N was ready to get to his house so they could change and get all cozy and kiss some more. She liked the way their relationship never put pressure into doing things that seemed unnatural. They always went at their pace regardless of what people said, besides, what they did was their business.

While on the ride home Y/N smiles at the photos she took. Harry was genuinely so cute and he looked extremely attractive today, she decided to make a little post as all the other girls did for their promposals. She settled on a picture of him with the basket, then a picture of them kissing.

‘couldn’t say no to an offer this sweet 🥺 love you baby💓’

Her phone practically blew up afterwards too. It made her laugh a little because she got so many questions asking who it was as if it wasn’t clear who it was. Harry. Her sweet angel boy.

Harry was happy as he drove home. The radio was on low and the windows opened a bit, Y/N leaning her head against his arm and their hands held. Driving with one hand was easy but she was being so cute, singing softly to the music and tracing his knuckles that he just wanted to kiss the hell out of her. She loved him. This creature, with her softness and vulnerability she showed him? Loved him. It was a given that he loved her but even more right now, he was so utterly shocked and happy about the fact that his affection was so swiftly returned.

He loved her.

She loved him.

Wow.

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A/N: We love these too so much omg... so yes, we have one more part planned, meet the parents, prom... very eventful. Can anyone guess what else we have for these two? could it be another series perhaps 👀 - n + d

let us know what you think!

masterlist

#writing #Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry angst #nerdy harry #nerdy!harry #jarofstyles #harry writing

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lovesgonnabe · 4 years ago

Text

Love Is Worth It - Episode II: The Talk

Characters: Chris Evans x Maya Alonso-Evans (Black OFC)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, cursing, slight Implied smut

Word Count: 2928

Summary: What happens when a dad has to have a tough conversation with a 5 year old about something he may never experience?

Point of View: Chris Evans

Authors Note: It has been a while since I’ve written so please bear with my rustiness, and there’s slight edits so there may be errors. RIP Chadwick Boseman.

Disclaimer: This is about to be super dramatic and very fluffy. Also italicized is a flashback.

Taglist: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss if you would like to join the taglist message me.

Please leave a note and tell me what you think!

I Just Don’t Understand...

As I walk into the house i was having a hard time processing what had just happened on the other side of the door and having a screaming child, barking dog and the anxiety monster on my back isn’t helping.

And I swore I put the heater on but the house was cold and empty.

“Delilah give daddy a minute sweetheart” I told my crying baby girl.

She cried as loud as she could as I sat her down on the couch with a now whimpering Dodger at her feet

As I paced trying to think, the commotion around me was crippling, I just couldn’t endure the pain my entire body was in, I was in a state of powerlessness.

I’m always prepared especially for moments like these, but at the amount my ability to think was out of the window when I realized i was not mentally prepared for this. Doing the next best thing I called in reinforcements.

the phone rang four times before he picked up “Chris this better be damn important and why is my niece screaming like she’s dying?” Austin said on the other line.

I sighed running my hands through my hair “It’s Maya, she just got arrested in driveway and I don’t know what to do an- quiet down sweetheart, it’ll be alright.” I said.

I sat down on the couch laid Dede on my chest as I tried my best to calm her down, and keep myself together.

“Hold on, What do you mean arrested, what did she do.” Austin asked in shock now giving me his full attention.

Who is Austin you may ask?

Well he is our attorney...

Who also happens to be a prosecutor for the Southern District of New York...

Oh and did mention he’s Maya’s older brother.

Of course I told him everything I knew and then some.

I thanked the heavens when I turned on Frozen and Delilah calmed down to a sniffle, i started to feel like I had some control of the situation.

“That’s some bullshit man, ok listen I’ve gotta make some calls, don’t go to the station, don’t call for her or pick up any calls from the police station, just let me handle it and I’ll text you when it’s taken care of got it?” Austin said

I sighed “Alright we can do that” Austin chuckles “look I know that feeling of being helpless right now, and it’s all gonna be alright, she’s gonna back home tonight, so just relax, this is just something we sadly have to go through, I’ll be over this weekend to check on her” I nodded like he could see me and we hung up.

I took a deep breath and rubbed Delilah’s back and a few tears escaping from my eyes as looked at Elsa save Anna at the end of frozen. I wiped my face because I had to stay strong for my baby girl and I looked down at her.

“Hey Lilah how about some pizza for dinner tonight?” I asked her, nodding her head she wiped her nose mumbling that she was gonna take a bath.

She reminded more and more of her mom everyday from her big brown eyes to her high cheeks and button nose she was becoming just like the woman love.

When she got up all I could think about was when Maya was pregnant with Delilah.

—————

Maya laid on the bed rubbing her belly looking at me with an annoyed look on her face.

“Chris I’m being serious there is going be a day when we are going to have to face the reality that we will have to talk about race relations with our little peanut” Maya said.

I chuckle as i walking out of our connected bathroom leaning against the doorframe looking in adoration of her infatuation with her little belly.

“Babe I understand that trust me I’ve read more how to raise a multiracial baby books than I can count” I said. She looks at me I’m like I’m crazy and rolls her eyes.

“Maya I’m joking but don’t you think its a bit early to having these conversation the baby isn't even here yet babe.” I sighed

Shaking her head she gets up from the bed “well that was a terrible joke Chris and it's never too early to think ahead especially since, I may not always be around so you have to be one to be prepared.” She said.

She steps in front of the vanity mirror in our room stripping the red satin body hugging dress she wore from our dinner date tonight. I know what she was doing but I couldn’t focus on how beautiful her glow was because of how morbid she was acting.

Walking to her from the door frame, I got up behind her and wrapped my arms around her softly rubbing her belly. “Don’t say that, we are going to be together till infinity you better believe that.” I placed my chin on her shoulder and kissed her check.

She whispered sadly “Chris I do believe that, It’s just statics show that black women are 3x more likely to die in childbirth than white women, I just want you to be prepared” I groaned.

She reminds me that deathening fact at least once a week but I keep my cool stood up straight and grabbed her hands, placing them on her belly while intertwining them with mine.

We caught each other's gaze in the mirror, her pregnancy glow makes me want to make sure she keeps popping out babies. The way her skin glistened under our dimmed lights and how soft she felt under my touch to her sweet smell Lavender, this woman was my world.

“Look I refuse to leave that hospital without you ok. Maya I don’t know what I’d do if I were to lose you” I softly respond

“Now repeat after me we are going to have a beautiful, healthy, happy baby girl and we are leaving that hospital together.” I say as we held an intense gaze through the mirror in front of us.

She chuckles “I still think our little peanut will be a boy but I guess we’ll find out in a few days” I let out a gut busting laugh. “Whatever you say my love” I kiss her shoulder then the sweet spot behind her ear

I whispered in her ear “maybe we can start you know practicing for that baby boy right now?”

I stand, slowly pushing her back down bending her in front of the vanity with her hands on the chair, I move my hands to her hip and sent a smack to her ass.

She sucked her teeth “Don’t think you’re slick we aren’t done with this conversation” she moans as I gently rub her clit. I chuckled and got to work.

———————

I concluded that without her no matter how much we’ve prepared there is no way I was ready to handle situations like these especially alone.

By the time the pizza gets here I’ve emptied the groceries from Maya’s car, feed Dodger and changed the movie.

When I came into the kitchen Delilah was on her little step stool gabbing the plates then the cheese and utensils.

I raised an eyebrow very confused as to when my little girl was becoming a big girl.

“When did you become so independent Dede” I said give each of us two slices

She gave me a said smile and said “I just watch mommy do it.” She shrugged

We walk in to the living room and I started Princess and the Frog or Delilah’s favorite movie.

We sat in silence for a bit and then sniffling again she asked “daddy why did they take mommy today”

This is the talk I’ve been dreading it was something Maya and I agreed we’d give her when she was 10 and we’d give it together.

When we talk about it all Maya would say was “you will know what to say when the time comes at least that’s what my mom says”

Yet all I could do was look at those big brown eyes and hesitate, i paused the movie, grabbed her hand and just went off the cuff with what came from the heart.

I sigh “look at our hands do you see any difference?”

She nodded “yeah mommy says she dark chocolate, you’re white chocolate and I’m a cute Caramel, we are all different but we all love the same”

I laugh, it would be like my wife to be teaching me while she wasn’t here.

We put our plates down and scooted closer to each other still holding hands.

I hesitate again “the thing is sweetheart there are some but not all people in this world and a lot of them are white chocolate like me and they don’t like that mommy is dark chocolate so they do mean things to them like what happened today.” She nodded with her processing the information face.

“Ok daddy but why aren’t more white chocolate people like you, mommy didn’t do anything we just got ice cream.” She asked still somewhat confused with the entire situation.

My little peanut is one of the smartest cookies I know and I forget sometimes that she is still only 5. It pains me to see that she even with how bright she is she is still too young to fully comprehend the severity of the situation.

“That I don’t know but I do know that mommy’s gonna be ok and that no matter what I love you and mommy more than anything In the world” I said with a reassuring smile.

“One more question since I-I am Caramel and not white chocolate like you would that happen to me” she asked.

This is the dreaded question as a father you don’t want to see your kids in pain you want them happy but the reality is that the one thing I’ve learned with being with Maya is that being black in a white America isn’t easy.

Running my hand through my hair the wrapped my arm around her “It may happen Lilah but mommy and I will do everything in our power to make sure you are ready for those moments, but right now just worry about being a kid and we’ll take care of the rest.” She nodded and I kissed her forehead.

We continued our movie session and sat in silence until the end of the movie when Delilah wanted to watch Moana.

It was midnight on school night but I decided that Delilah wasn’t going to school tomorrow and I let my assistant know to relay the message that I was not coming to set tomorrow. So I turned on the next movie.

Half-way through I got a text from Austin

------------------------------------------------------

11/25/2020 12:49am

Austin: Hey bro just got off the phone with the Boston PD precinct Maya’s at she’ll be released in about one hour and she good go

Chris: Thank You, I’m on my way.

------------------------------------------------------

I wanted to cheer so loud but Dede and Dodger were asleep, so I called my parents to drop Delilah off which my mom agreed happily.

After dropping Dede off at my parents who I am still shocked were still awake this late, I headed to the precinct, my body was shaking with nerves. When I got there I parked and rushed inside.

When the front desk lady began speak I cut her off “I’m here for Maya Alonso-Evans” she looked at me like she was gonna scream with excitement but I guess my face said it all.

She escorted me to the back “Chief Demilio will see you now” my hands were sweaty I knocked and heard a come in.

Walking into the office there she sat with dry tear stains on her face, looking disheveled, she ran to me and threw her hands around me as she started to cry some more.

“its gonna alright baby I’m here” I whispered and hugged her back tightly.

“Hello Mr. Evans thank you for joining us we are just wrapping up here, would you like to take a seat” the weird looking man behind the mahogany desk asked.

I ushered her back to her previous seat and I stood behind her placing my jacket on her shoulder as I rub them softly “no I’m good with standing” I say with a menacing face.

He clears his throat and looks at us awkwardly “ok then, on the behalf of Boston PD we would like to give our sincerest apologies for the inconvenience of this mix up and the officers will be dealt with accordingly.” I raised an eyebrow at his shortness and at the sorry ass apology we were getting.

“Ok so what is going to happen to these officers then?” I ask with my hands still on Maya’s shoulders trying to keep both of us calm.

He smirks “one will be put on administrative leave for the next month and the other indefinitely until we can get this all sorted” he says to us show us the file.

Maya sighs an exasperated sigh looking as if she could pass out right there.

I speak up “that’s it the are getting a paid vacation?” I asked highly confused at this situation.

“The board thinks due to the incidents in this case that this is best punishment we can give them, we know your upset Mr. Evans but you must look at the circumstances” he says talking down to me as my breathing began to pick up.

I chuckled “the only circumstances I see was my wife being falsely accused for a crime that she didn't commit and being arrested in front our 5 year old daughter wh-“ Maya put her hand up cutting me off speaking for the first time since I got there.

Placing her hand on top of mine “It’s ok Chris I just wanna go home” she got up grabbed my keys out of my hand and without another word walked out and I followed right behind her shaking my head.

She got her things they took before they booked her and we headed to the car, I opened the door for her she quietly thanked me and we started our journey home.

The first 10 minutes was a comfortable silence then I decided to break it.

I grabbed her hand and kissed it “honey you alright?” I know it was an awful question to ask but something had to be said.

She shrugged her shoulders “I am just exhausted right now all I want is food, maybe some sex and a good cuddle with Delilah, did you leave her with your parents” she ask now checking her phone.

I nodded “Dede asked me if what happen to you would happen to her” we were now at a red light and looked at each other.

Maya groaned and rubbed her forehead “what did you say?” She looked at me again

I let out a heavy breathe “I just told her it could happen and that we’d deal with it when she got a little older and that not all people are like the men from today.” I started tapping the steering wheel with my left hand, I was nervous.

she let out a relieved sigh “Ok that works” was all she said and I looked at her confused.

She chuckled “What? You did your best among the circumstances. Isn’t that what the police chief said back there” she rolled her eyes and I laughed at her sly remark.

“There goes my baby. Have you heard from Austin yet?” I ask turning on our street.

Then she laughed “yeah he called me while I was in a holding cell to let me know when I’d be let out.. You know his frat brother is the attorney general of Massachusetts” I chuckled and pulled to the driveway.

Once I parked, I got out and opened her door and she asked me to carry her in, she wrapped her legs around my waist and I walked us into our home.

With her looking at me as I focused on getting us both up the stairs she starts kissing me all over my face “Hey I know you wish you could’ve done more babe but you did what’s most important and that be a father to our beautiful daughter.” She said as we reached our room.

I dropped her on our California King and stood between her legs rubbing her thighs.

She sat up rubbing the hair on the back of my neck “You are the rock to my roll you make me feel safe and today you protected me the best you could, I love you papi remember that” she softly kissed my lips.

Her lips tasted like sin and strawberry lip balm. Her back felt like velvet as I ran my hands up her warm body and into her hair pulling on it softly. As our kiss deepened, her embrace felt like home to me and I would not know what I’d do if had loss her tonight.

I whispered back “I love you to the moon and back my love”

Many people do not agree with our relationship and don’t understand why I’d choose Maya over all the other women I could be with. But this was my choice to make and I wouldn't change a thing. However, for those who disagree with me.

Fuck Them!

#chris evans x black ofc #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x poc!reader #black reader #chris evans fanfiction #poc reader

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maryb121813 · 3 years ago

Text

Not the only one

Chapter 5

Once she calmed down, Lucifer sat her down in one of the many chairs in the room.

“Satan, can you please get Ellie a cup of tea?” he asked.

Satan just gave a quick nod as he turned and left the room.

Ellie rubbed her eyes with the sleave of her blazer, Lucifer gentle grabbed her wrist and pulled it away from her face.

“You’re going to rub your eyes raw if you continue to do that.” he released her wrist and just watched her with sorrow and anger in his eyes.

Ellie hung her head and waited for him to lecture her, but they just sat in silence.

“What are you thinking little one?” he asked.

She gave him a confused look, “Aren’t you going to tell me ‘I told you so’ since I didn’t listen to you or anyone else when I gave Mammon a chance?” she questioned.

He gave her a chuckle. “You were blinded by love and were a stubborn mule to listen to anyone. And you were to pure hearted to see the bad in us demons.”

“But you’re not all bad. You’re sitting here with me, consoling me and Satan is getting me tea with the possibility of bringing me a cat shaped cookie too.” she giggled.

Lucifer softly smiled at his little human. He placed his hand on the top of her head and gently patted her. He watched how Ellie’s cheeks turned a cute shade of rose. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead, “I’ll always be there for you, Ellie.” he whispered to her.

Ellie’s hands went up and covered her burning cheeks, he stood up and adjusted his blazer and started to leave.

“Where are you going Lucifer?” she asked.

He turned back to her, “I’m going to look for Diavolo.” was all he said before he walked out of the room.

Once he was gone, Satan walked in with her tea and the accurately predicted cat cookie. He pulled a chair up in front on her and sat facing her.

“Thank you, Satan.” she said before she took a sip of her tea.

“My pleasure, Ellie. I hate seeing you like that.” he said with a sad smile.

“I know and thank you for your concern.”

“I’m going to stay with you for the rest on the school day so he doesn’t bother you and I know that once he sees you alone, he will want to explain himself and I know you don’t need to see or hear from him.” he said with determination.

“What about your classes? You still have at least four classes left.”

“It’s fine, I'm not like my brothers who’ll fall behind by skipping a day.” he waved her off.

She sighed, “Okay, if you say so,” she knew that once he got the idea in his head, he wasn’t going to back down from it. Just like his many failed attempts to prank Lucifer.

When she finished her tea and cookies, Satan escorted her to the cafeteria for lunch. There they met up with the others except Lucifer and Mammon. When she sat at the table, Beel passed her one of his made-up trays of food.

“Eat as much as you want, whatever you don’t eat I'll finish it.” he said.

She giggled, “Of course Beel and thank you.”

As she ate, the guys were getting details from Satan about what happened last class period. Before he even sat a word, he’d look to her and silently made sure it was okay to tell them. She gave some nods but most of them were shakes. She still didn’t want them to kill either over her, a human who was going to be gone in a month.

She almost choked on some food when her D.D.D. went off in her pocket. She pulled it out and there was a message from Mammon. She ignored it and turned it on silent. She returned it to her pocket and continued to eat.

“Want some dessert?” asked Belphie. He held out a caramel shadow tart.

“Yes, please. I need this after everything that’s been going on.” she eagerly took the tart, pushing the tray of leftover food to Beel, who gladly dug into and slowly ate the sweet tart.

They spent the rest of lunch talking about the upcoming exams and plans that involved going to the Demon Lord’s castle and spending another night with Ellie.

She had to decline that offer, she needed sleep and those five will not help with that. They accepted that she wanted to be alone and a few of them had a malicious look in their eyes. She didn’t ask what they were going to do, she left it be and she knew they will tell her tomorrow what they’ve done to their brother on her behalf.

Truth be told, it warmed her heart to know that these guys care for her so much and deeply.

Satan kept to his word and stayed with her the rest of the school day. When school ended, she parted with the brothers and started her walk to the castle. She looked up at the eternal night sky, the stars sparkled like polished jewels. She thoughts kept going back to Mammon and how she should’ve known that something was going on when he stopped texting and calling her. She knew it was going to take time for her heart to heal and move on from the greedy demon and she was looking forward to the journey of self-healing, especially with the guys.

Barbatos had the door to the castle already opened and greeted her, “Welcome home, Ellie. I hope your day was wonderful.” Her body flinched; it didn’t go unnoticed by the ever-aware demon butler. “I take it by that reaction, it wasn’t a good day.”

“In the beginning it wasn’t, but it ended on an okay note.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked sincerely.

“No. I’m just gonna go to my room and take a bubble bath and maybe read a book Satan lent me. I’ll take my leave, excuse me.” she said as she walked away from the mischievous demon.

Barbatos watched Ellie take to the stairs, skipping the first step and repeating the pattern till she was out of sight. He pinched his chin in between his thumb and curled forefinger. He pulled his D.D.D. out and sent a quick message to his master. Once he put that away, he went to his room. He needed to see for himself what happened to his little devil flower.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ellie sat in a massive clawed bathtub, it was almost filled to the brim with hot water and bubbles. On top of the bubbles were crushed lavender and chrysanthemums to help her relax and release tension. She has soft music playing in the background, to help ease her mind.

Ellie felt her body relax, her eyes slowly closed as the music and aroma took over her senses and mind. When she opened her eyes again, Diavolo stood at the end of the tub, where her feet rested on the rim. She gave a yelp, covering her most intimate places with her hands and bubbles.

“Lord Diavolo? What are you doing in here?” she shrieked.

He didn’t say a word as he discarded his red jacket and rolled up his long sleeves. He reached in the tun and pulled the stopper, draining some of the water before putting it back in the drain. She was still covered by some water and bubbles and her arms still covered her breasts. She watched him go to the sink and choose a purple bottle of lotion and materialized a stool with his magic and place in near her feet.

“Diavolo?”

He squeezed a small amount of lotion in his big hand, placing the bottle on the tiled floor, with his empty hand her pulled one of her feet to him and started massaging it gently at first, but slowly started working her pressure points.

He didn’t speak the whole time he worked on her one foot. Part of her wanted to melt and another part was wondering where was Barbatos? He would normally try to stop him from doing almost any kind of manual labor that wasn’t dignified for a king.

When he felt he massaged her foot good enough, he put it back in the tub and moved his stool to the other side of the tub and started massaging her other foot.

She watched his face as he pampered her, his expression looked like he was lost in thought, trying to piece together whatever trains of thought that was running around in his princely head.

She was so absorbed in the massage that she started to fall asleep.

“I’m sorry, Ellie.” he finally spoke, shaking the sleepiness from her mind.

She sat quietly waiting for him to continue what he wanted to say.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know any of this was happening or else I wouldn’t have rushed to bring you here. I didn’t want you to get hurt over his betrayal. I should’ve spoken to Lucifer about bringing you here and what his thoughts were.” he spoke softly,

“Don’t be sorry. If you hadn’t brought me here, I would still be the fool, unaware of his cheating. Blissfully waiting for him to answer any of my calls or text messages. I should be thanking you, Lord Diavolo.”

He looked at her in awe, most human women he’s read about would be in bed crying and cutting or styling their hair, but Ellie’s here going about her day like any other, with a couple crying fits, but that’s normal for someone in her situation and she was taking a bath, which he just realized he interrupted. He’s cheeks turned flushed with embarrassment and quickly picked up his coat.

“I am so sorry for walking on you in the bath. I was just so immersed in my thoughts of comforting you that I didn’t notice that you were undressed.” he quickly bowed to her before turning and leaving the suite.

Ellie sat in the tub confused, he didn’t notice I was naked? How deep in thought was he???

She shook her head and got out of the tub, wrapping herself in a warm fluffy towel. She sat on her bed and retrieved her D.D.D. from her blazer pocket, that she laid on the bed.

She was stunned to see many messages and calls from the guys and she didn’t hear any of. Then she remembered she silenced it after getting a message from Mammon. She laid back in bed and read messages from them, skipping Mammon’s of course, Once she replied to everyone, she slowly started to drift off to sleep.

A hand caressed her cheek, causing her to stir. She slowly opened her eyes. Her vision was blurry but she could make up a figure sitting on her bed. She wanted to bolt upright, but she was so tired that she closed her eyes falling back to sleep.

to be continued.

@raeraekubs

#swd mammon #swd obey me #mammon avatar of greed #cheating

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emu-lumberjack · 4 years ago

Text

Don’t Answer the Phone Tired pt. 2

It’s the next day and Damian has gotten even less sleep, thankfully he’s not too tired after a some surprise news shocks him awake.

———————————-

Hey guys here’s the sequel everyone was super excited for. I really hope y'all like it, I definitely wrote it tired, but it should be coherent.

Read part 1 here

Read part 3 here

Read part 4 here

Read part 5 here

He really needed coffee, especially after dealing with his brothers after they found out about Marinette. The youngest Wayne was up till four yelling at them to lay off, among more colorful terms, everyone time they called. He would’ve just ignored them but he knew that ignoring them would just wind up with him getting a surprise visit sooner than later. The fresh Parisian air felt good against his face as he stood on his balcony.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair!” Marinette's voice called from the street.

“Only if the prince is willing to protect me from my aggravating brothers!” He cracked a smile as he shouted back.

“Alas I cannot do that, but would my damsel take this as a reward?” She held up a purple travel mug and a bag filled with a croissant.

“I think I could take that deal. I’ll be down in a few minutes.” He ran inside to grab his bag and throw on some day clothes before meeting Marinette.

“Have I mentioned you’re the best girlfriend? Because you’re the best girlfriend.” Damian said walking up to Marinette.

“You could stand to mention it more.” The bluenette replied handing him his promised coffee and croissant. He gulped down the coffee barely taking a breath until Marinette laughed and said, “Slow down there, you won't have any time to savor any of it.”

“If you want to stay up late dealing with my brothers, please be my guest but if not,” He gestured with his cup, “I’m gonna drink as fast as I want to.” Marinette nodded to that.

“Was it that bad last night after you left?”

“By bad do you mean each one of was trying to call me every five minutes out of ‘concern’ for my health or to check to make sure I hadn’t kidnapped you.” Marinette laughed again. “Anyway if I didn’t talk to them at all they probably would’ve hopped on the first flight they could to see what’s going on.” They stopped at the light, when Damian turned to look at Marinette he noticed she was avoiding his gaze. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about my brothers. Would you Angel?”

“Well, I might have gotten a text from Aurore to keep you away from school because three older guys had come and were asking around for you. One of them was half asleep and she couldn’t figure out how he was functional.”

Damian paled, after a moment he said “And why then are we going to school, I personally want to get as far away from them as possible.”

“She sent me a follow up saying to get there as fast as possible. Lila told her lie in front of the wrong person and, well I’ll show you the video.” Marinette handed her phone to Damian who hit play on the video that was up.

The forms of Grayson, Todd and Drake half asleep leaning on Jason. A voice came from off screen saying,

“Girl I can’t believe Tim’s not taking you to the Wayne Gala.” Alya, Damian thought. She was beginning to walk into frame with someone else. He knew who she was before she spoke.

“I know right. It’s just why would he invite someone else!” There in all her demonic glory stood Lila Rossi, not yet realising who she was walking next to.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but are you talking about Tim Drake? Adopted son of Bruce Wayne?” Grayson asked innocently. Damian knew that voice, it was the same one he used when he was going to demolish someone. “Well yeah. He’s her boyfriend, who are you anyway? Why do you care?” Alya was immediately there to be Lila’s guard dog.

“Well my name is Richard Grayson-Wayne. Tim’s brother and Bruce's son. I care because unless he’s as good at keeping secrets as Damian is, which he’s not, then he isn’t dating this girl.” Alya paled, the camera zoomed in on Lila’s face. She looked like she was about to be sick

“Huh? I heard my name.” Drake, who was in a rare moment of lucidness, looked at Dick.

“Are you pulling a Damian and secretly dating a girl in France?” Todd still Drake’s support was glaring at Lila.

“What?! Are you kidding me? No!” Drake looked like he was just hit with a cement slab.

“What are you talking about obviously you’re dating Lila! Stop Lying! I bet you're not even the real Tim Drake.” Alya was shouting now drawing crowds from around the courtyard. Drake looked at Grayson confused.

“She does realize that we can sue her if she’s really telling these types of lies right? Like she can’t be doing that.” Tim stood in front of Dick and turned his back to the paled liar and fuming reporter

“Oh leave Lila alone!” Alya came towards Drake and shoved him into Grayson.

“That does it.” Todd who had moved off to the side started walking towards the brunette rolling up his sleeves. Grayson and Todd recovered quickly, and moved to hold Todd back.

“We should get there before Todd kills them.” He said calmly before handing the phone back to Marinette. “Otherwise we won’t be able to take her down ourselves.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

In no time the duo were walking up the steps of Françoise Dupont where the sounds of shouts could be heard. The scene they entered was somehow more chaotic then the one Aurore had sent in the video. Todd was hanging upside down, the rope leading up around the handrails on the second floor then back down to a corner of the courtyard. Drake was on the bench snoring softly with his head almost touching the floor. Dick was on the phone, presumably with some lawyers. The entire bottom courtyard of the school was littered with papers and balloons were strewn about. Lila was nowhere to be seen.

“It looks like they’ve taken care of the situation, and they haven’t spotted us yet so I’m just gonna…” Damian began.

“There he is! Demonspawn, finally I thought you’d never get here.” Jason interrupted. He had spun around and caught sight of Damian and Marinette walking in. Dick turned around at the sound of Jason’s voice before saying “Yeah Duke I’ll have to call you back, but we need to sort this Lila stuff out.” He put his phone away before walking over to a corner of the building where he took out his knife and slashed a piece of rope. Jason came crashing down.

“A little warning next time Dick.” Jason said brushing off some dust that had settled on his tan leather jacket. Each one of them were dressed in their civilian clothing. Dick had on a pair of blue jeans with a grey t-shirt paired with some black sneakers. Jason was wearing his usual jeans, t-shirt, and leather jacket combo. Drake was in some weird form of pajama and day clothes mixing a graphic T-shirt and red flannel with grey sweatpants and slippers.

“Now I know that we have to be dreaming. Demonspawn is actually wearing a sweatshirt. I don’t even think Alfred could get him to do that.” Damian had run out once he heard Marinette’s voice that morning so he had just thrown on a pair of pants, a shirt and a sweatshirt barely thinking about it. He had become relaxed in Paris.

“What the hell are you guys doing here.” Damian’s face was quickly beginning to match a tomato in color and he was backing out of the entryway.

“Well obviously we had to come and see you, and meet your girlfriend.” Dick who had walked over to Marinette grabbed her hand and shook it. “My name’s Dick, the grumbling menace over there is Jason. The one currently passed out is Tim, nice to meet you, uh”

“Marinette.” She supplied. “I also have to thank you for taking care of a certain person, I’ve been trying to figure out how to get rid of her for a year.”

“Oh it was no problem at all, especially after she claimed she was dating Tim.” Damian quickly interrupted the two with a few well placed coughs. “I don’t mean to cut this short Grayson but we have to be getting to class.”

“Oh don’t worry. Bruce already called you out for the day, and Marinette I’m sure you can miss one day of school.” Jason said walking up behind Marinette.

“As much as I’d love to, I have two tests today. I’ll be happy to meet up with you afterwards though.” Damian’s eyes widened as the words sunk in and he realized what that meant for him.

“Please don’t leave me alone with them.” He looked at Marinette pleadingly.

“You’re gonna have to tell us how you got him to say please, it took Alfred a month to do that.” Jason remarked.

“Maybe another time, now I’ve gotta get to class.” She gave one look at Damian and there was laughter in her eyes.

“I hate you.” He said.

“No you don’t.” She called back, disappearing around the corner.

“So how bout we wake up Timmy and go get breakfast. I for one am famished.” Jason came up and put a hand on Damians shoulder.

“Ya know that doesn’t sound so bad Jason. Then Damian can tell us all about Paris, and the people he’s met.” Dick stood in front of Damians glare gleefully looking at Jason.

“I will kill you both and Father will never be able to find your bodies.”

“Yeah but then Marinette will be disappointed. For some reason she gives off the ‘thou shall not kill’ vibe.” Grayson said. “Now how are we gonna wake Tim up.”

“Oh I’ll take care of it.” Damian said grabbing his Ice filled water bottle.

Tag List:

@ur-average-reader @kristycocopop @k-laconia-bug1 @smolplantmum @dast218 @pirats-pizzacanninibles @acoursedprophetwithasmothie @g-arya @loysydark @mewwitch @itsemeanne @hauntedstudent99 @clumsy-owl-4178

#Maribat #Damianette #damienette #marinette x damian #marinette dupain-cheng #Lila salt #alya salt

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crescentsteel · 4 years ago

Text

Just Friends - Part 5

plot: fubu set up with Kuroo as a university student, model fem reader warnings: a bit angsty I guess? word count: 5100

A/N: - Thank you so much for those who reblogged every...freaking...chapter I- - Special thanks to @cherryonigiri for the shoutout last week. ur too kind :( - I’ve been writing every single night since Chapter 1, and I can feel the burnout coming. So it might (MIGHT) take longer to finish the next one. - Should I do a taglist or sumthin? I remember someone asking before but didn’t go through it cause I don’t think a lot are interested lol

Part 4 | Part 6 | m.list

“We got the shots. Thanks everyone!” The creative director, Mitsuki, wraps up the shoot. ‘Thank God,’ you thought. You head to the dressing room and change into your own clothes.

Mitsuki goes to you after you change. You’ve worked with her several times since she’s well-known in the industry. You like her because he’s approachable and is easy to work with. You often share nonwork-related conversation during shoots.

“You look dreadful. What happened to you?”

She just had to remind you that you barely slept. You were tossing and turning trying to not think about last night’s events. You only had two hours of sleep and you exist right now only because of caffeine. Although, your eyes sting and you can feel a headache coming. Still, you’re thankful for today’s work. Because of it, you’re preoccupied with something else other than him.

“Rough night.” You answer lifelessly.

“Oooh, do tell,” she looks at you meaningfully, hoping for any juicy story you might be holding. Unfortunately for her, it’s not something you’re ready to share with anyone.

“Next time, Mitsuki.” You give her an apologetic smile and go to your car.

Once on the driver’s seat, you check your phone for any text message. No new messages. Disappointment hits you. You don’t know what you’re expecting exactly, but you just want to hear from him. He’d pester you when you don’t want him to, but now that you do, he doesn’t.

You throw your head back at your seat. Kuroo has definitely screwed you beyond his bed. This is so unlike you.

If you need something, you get it yourself. That’s how you are and what you should be doing. You can no longer ignore your feelings and expect them to go away. You doubt you’ll be sleeping with him again anyways, given your current state.

You’ve never had this set-up with anyone else but you’re pretty sure that not one party should develop any romantic feelings. You need to let him know that you are confused and you’re misinterpreting his actions recently. You don’t know how things will turn out, but at least you’ll get some clarity as to what you two are. Rattling your brains out won’t give you an answer, talking to him would. He’ll probably figure out what you feel for him even if you don’t spell it out.

You’ve never confessed to anyone, you’ve always been on the receiving end. To be honest, you don’t want to. But to hell with your pride if you can’t function properly because of it.

With your mind made up, you send him a message.

‘Hey. Wanna meet tonight? I need to tell you something.’

–

He arrives at the bar where you first met. That’s where you told him to be. He goes to the counter and is deciding what he’ll have before you show up.

He went a little earlier than what you said in your text. He’s doing nothing anyways and he couldn’t stay still. You made it seem important. Maybe it was about last night.

When you let him in your place, he was really pleased. He thought you could continue where you left off. You were tense back on the rooftop, but he considered it was because of the open space. But when it was only the two of you, you were more flustered. It was so cute actually. You’re always so feisty in and out of bed, but last night you looked timid and vulnerable even more than you did when he went to your university.

Since when were you so threatened by him? There’s no need to be. It’s not like you like him or somethin.

As if. He’s already lucky enough to be banging you, he won’t kid himself into thinking you like him.

…

But what if you do? On the slight chance that that’s what you’re gonna tell him, how should he respond? He hasn’t really thought of it. You’re always so guarded and seem like you’re in only for the fun as well. That was the case until you’ve been spending a lot of time without actually fucking. You slowly filled him in the gaps of who you are as a person and boy, does he like you a lot. Even Kenma does, to the point that Kenma’s been hinting that you two should date. He usually dismisses it as you and him are only ‘good’ friends. Although he’s positive that Kenma’s not buying that shit. Kenma probably knows what’s going between you two.

Also, you’re the only girl he’s shagged exclusively for this long. Usually, this set-up is good for him only for a month or two tops. It’s been more or less 6 months already with you, but it’s never boring, sex or not. He’s always looking forward to seeing you. He likes it when you always have a quick-witted counter to his provocation. He finds it adorable when you let him take care of you. Your face when you blush is just too fucking precious. It warms him up when he sees you genuinely smiling. He won’t mind at all if you continue like this longer.

Ah shit.

“Glass of whiskey,” he tells the bartender. He immediately drinks the liquor, the burn on his throat soothing the riot going on on his head.

It sounded like he’s way past just liking you. He takes another sip at his own frustration. He shouldn’t be thinking this hard. It was just a what-if situation anyway. You probably don’t like him that way, and now he’s upset at the conclusion he came up with.

It’s bad to have feelings for you. First, he doesn’t know how you feel about him. If he lets you know that he does, you might cut him off from the ‘benefits’ of your friendship. Your chemistry in bed is too good to let go. Second, let’s say you do like him, is he really sure of what he’s feeling? Isn’t it just because you’ve been so physically intimate for so long that he’s mixing it up as something remotely close to love? He doesn’t want a half-baked relationship if you both decide to take things seriously.

“Need some company?”

A pretty blonde girl sits beside him. Pretty, but nowhere near as pretty as you are. He checks his phone for the time and if there’s any message from you.

45 minutes till your said meet up time. He takes his drink and ushers the blondie to a standing table. The conversation he shares with her is casual, at first at least. After a few minutes, she’s already batting her eyes at him and bites her lip every now and then. Her touch on his arms lingers when she playfully slaps his biceps.

All too easy. He’s not even trying.

Since the opportunity is here, guess he’ll go for it. He’s definitely not sleeping with this blondie, but a 'lil playtime before you arrive won’t hurt. Maybe that would clear up the confusion in his head.

Alright, blondie. Whatever she’s rambling about, time to shut up. He grabs her shoulders and goes for her lips. She pulls him closer by putting her arms around his neck. She lets out a soft moan in the kiss.

A few seconds, but still nothing. He has to try harder. He grabs her ass to feel her more, to excite himself, to get rid of unwanted thoughts on his head. He closed his eyes shut and focused on the body that he’s holding at this moment.

‘Congratulations, Kuroo.’

Scenes from last night rushed in his head. Your smile. Your lips against his. The warmth of your body succumbed to him.

He can’t do this.

He harshly pulls himself away from the girl. He tastes something vile in his throat that doesn’t resemble anything close to the whiskey he’s having. It’s horrible. He’s disgusted with himself. All he could think about is you. It doesn’t feel right with someone else. It should be you he’s holding.

He thought himself smart, but right now he’s one hundred percent sure that he’s being a fucking idiot. How could he think that this nobody of a lady can take you off his mind? How dare he touch someone else right before meeting you?

“What’s wrong?” She whines while her eyes are pleading for him to continue. He smiles sourly.

“Sorry, but I’m actually with someone.” The blondie’s face got all scrunched up.

“Douchebag,” she mutters as she walks away. And that he is, a total douchebag.

He goes back to the counter and orders himself another round. Looks like he needs to tell you something as well.

–

You came just a tad bit early. You managed to take a nap, but you woke up before the alarm set off. You’re still restless, but you feel a bit better than this morning. You decided to meet Kuroo at the bar where you first met. Weird place to talk, but you don’t wanna come off as too serious about it. You want it to be as casual as possible, as casual as confessing could be. Where could be more casual than the place where you first hooked up?

You can’t decide if that was genius of you or plain moronic, but you go with it anyway.

You’ve already pep talked yourself while driving. You know the words to say. You’ve rehearsed them in your head. You’re ready.

Right when you enter the bar, you start feeling queasy. Can you really do this? You go to the restroom to clear your head. If you go to your car, you might just back off and go home.

You look at yourself in the mirror. There’s no alcohol in your system but you’re flushed already.

“Oops, sorry.” It’s a drunk girl who’s now giggling at her clumsiness. She stops when she looks at your face. “Oh deaaaar, you look like you’ve had tsu many. Yer so red. You okaaay?” She seems really concerned, but you can’t help but be amused. She’s slurring way too much. She worries for a stranger getting too drunk when she, herself, has probably had too many already.

You snigger. “Yes, I am. Are you?” You throw back the concern she just gave you. She cackles at your question. “I donut know. Am I?” It’s contagious. Being anxious about your plans tonight, you’re more susceptible to humor. A second later and you’re laughing as well.

“Um. Thank you,” you smile at her. She just eased up your nerves without even knowing it. You exit the comfort room.

You try to find a comfortable place to seat yourself when you see Kuroo talking with a blonde girl. He doesn’t look interested at all, but you notice her touching him flirtatiously. You don’t do anything. Why should you? That’s up to Kuroo. Any moment now and he should be shoving her away. He’s meeting you after all.

You keep watching and waiting, until he puts his drink on the table and does the complete opposite of what you’re expecting. Your feet stay planted on the ground as everything unfolds right before your eyes, everything getting worse as seconds tick by. They’re basically clinging onto each other with her arms around him and his hands on her waist, all while engaged in intense lip-locking. He looks really into it. His hands travel down to the girl’s butt, and that’s about it for you.

You turn on your heels and make your way to the door. You feel like actually throwing up. Not only that, you’re suffocating as well. The neon lights make you dizzy. The music makes your ears ring. Every damn thing about this place hurts.

“Watch it!” you hear someone say, but you ignore it. You’ve been bumping into people while you scamper your way to the exit. You don’t care. You need to get out of here fast. You can’t stand it.

The exit is just a foot away. You extend your hand at the doorknob and hurl your body to make it outside. The fresh air was piercing against your lungs, reminding you how much of a reality was the scene you just witnessed. The relief you’re expecting and longing for doesn’t come.

Sadly, you can’t just stand there while people are passing you by as they enter the place. You need to go.

Each step you take is heavy. Each step vibrates through your whole body. You couldn’t process anything. The only thing you know is you want to go home. You want to be alone. You want to scream.

“Y.n.?”

Perfect. Just perfect. The flood of emotions surge through you when you see Kenma. What’s he even doing here?

“Have you seen Kuroo?” He says something after but you can only make out certain words.

Keys. Meet. Okay.

You want to speak but your throat hurts. You can feel your whole body shaking at how hard you’re trying to keep it together.

“What did you s-s-s…” You can’t finish your sentence. You bite your lip so hard that you taste blood. That would be better than you breaking down in public. Still, you can already feel tears in the corners of your eyes. One more word and you’ll probably lose it.

Kenma moves closer to you, studying your face. You try to hide it, but you know that anyone with two functional eyes can see that you’re in pain. He looks around, eyeing for a place where you can talk in private.

“Did you bring your car?” You only nod once. You don’t need to say anything for him to follow the direction you’re heading at. You keep your breaths short for you fear that an impeding sob might escape.

You both get in the back seat.

When the doors shut, you throw your head back to the seat.

“Y.n., what happened?” You face him with blurred vision from the tears you held. He’s never been expressive, so when you see intense worry on his face, you crumble.

You cover your mouth with trembling hands to tone down your screeching sobs. You weren’t aware that you could get hurt this much. The scene you just witnessed keeps replaying in your head. It hurts. It hurts. You want it to stop, but it doesn't.

You feel a hand patting your head. It was oddly comforting.

“I fell for him,” your voice strained from how hard you cried. You don’t want to get into the details of how last night was enchanting for you, how he made you feel things no else had. How special he made you feel. You even thought that there was a chance that he sees you more than the ‘friend’ you are.

Kenma’s expression remains the same. He must’ve known already. Were you that obvious? Were you so easy to read? If he knows, does Kuroo know too?

He stays silent, waiting for what comes after what you just said.

“I saw him with someone else inside.”

“Maybe it’s just someone he knows.”

Someone he knows, huh? Wasn’t that how you two started? There at that bar, cocktail in your hand, his lips on your neck. Tonight isn’t any different, except it was not you he’s holding.

“You should talk to him, y.n. I think he feels the same to you.” An empty laugh erupts from you. It was bitter and pathetic. Like you.

“You were right before. We aren’t just friends. We are fuck buddies above all. That’s why he likes me. I’m a convenient lay for him.”

Another wave of sadness comes. You feel the warm streaks of liquid in your cheeks again. You let it trickle down your face.

That’s how much of a real relationship you can get from Kuroo. Pretense of friends while letting yourselves get off to each other. At the end of the day, you weren’t his and he wasn’t yours to keep. You could easily replace each other. Let someone else warm your beds.

All this time, you haven’t slept with anyone else. You’re satisfied with just him. You thought it was an unspoken agreement that it would only be you two. Even if casual, you thought it was exclusive. But that might not be the case. Tonight was proof that you could easily be replaced. Or worse, you could just be one of them.

Now you have another emotion added to your tray of feelings. You’re furious. He could’ve at least told you that you were having sex with other women. You saw him as a friend. If he was decent enough, he should’ve at least told you that and let you decide if you still want to keep your arrangement.

Being friends with benefits sucks big time. You shouldn’t have done this. You were confident that you could handle it. Obviously, you thought wrong. Falling stupidly in love with Kuroo is downright deplorable.

“Go back inside y.n. It might not be what you think it is.”

“I was going to confess tonight, you know. I was the one who asked him to meet. Only to find him canoodling with some bimbo while groping her ass. Tell me Kenma, is it not what it is?”

You see Kenma squirm on his seat. “What the heck is he doing?” He whispers while his eyes dart to the bar you just came from.

You sniff and wipe your face with the hem of your shirt. “Screw him,” you say.

Kenma presses his lips together, as if trying to hold back something he wants to say. You didn’t want to, but you figure it out anyways.

“But I already did, didn’t I?”

Kenma smiles apologetically. “Sorry.”

“Do you want me to hit Kuroo and stuff?” he adds.

You imagine Kenma throwing Kuroo’s PS4 at him, which makes you giggle. You’d be willing to pay big time to see that happen.

“Thanks, Kenma. You didn’t have to be here, but you are.”

You’ve never had too many friends from your upbringing. Sure you hang out with people, and there were really fun times. But no one was there when you felt lonely. You got used to it. You didn’t know that it was this relieving to have someone just actually be there.

“But please, no matter what. Never tell him you saw me.”

“But what if he asks?”

“I was never here.”

He nods.

“Will you be okay?”

“Somehow... You should go, Kenma. I’ve kept you long enough.”

You both exit your car at the same time. Before you move to the driver’s seat, you call Kenma.

“I’d appreciate it if you accidentally hit him with a controller.” You put air quotes on ‘accidentally’. “Maybe twice or thrice. I’ll replace it when it breaks,” you add. Kenma grins the widest you’ve seen him do.

“You’re funny, y.n. Kuroo is dumb.”

You smile faintly. “Thanks, Kenma. Really.”

–

It’s been months since you’ve left Japan. Now you’re back. You have mixed feelings as you find yourself in the familiar airport terminal. You look at the gate across you. That was exactly where you exited before, with your eyes swollen and your heart broken.

You left because it was too much for you. You realized how spoiled you were in life, always getting what you wanted. You didn’t have any relationship you could call authentic, but in the same way, you had nothing to lose. No friendship fights, no drifting aparts, nothing. So when you fell for someone who wasn’t yours to keep, it tore you in ways you weren’t cognizant of.

You cut him out after that certain night in the bar. You blocked his number, his social media accounts, and warned the staff in your condo to not let anyone visit. You were scared that if he reached out, you would yield to him. Because despite the misery he brought, you missed him. But you wouldn’t allow yourself to do that. You wouldn’t continue to be his play thing while sinking deeper into that hell hole of loving him.

That’s why you had to leave. But before you did, you gave in one last time to your wretched feelings. You unblocked his number and texted him.

“What I really wanted to tell you the other night was I’m leaving. Want to meet before my flight?”

You didn’t know what you wanted back then. Parting sex or for him to stop you?

It didn’t matter though. Since he did not show up, much less even replied.

For some reason, you felt like letting Kenma know that you were leaving. He was there when you were broken, and in a way, he's your friend too. You leave him a brief goodbye message and never let Kuroo know the details of your disappearance.

Then you boarded the plane with crushed hopes and a shattered ego.

That time, you’ve never been more grateful that you came from a privileged family. You left your studies behind and flew to the U.S. There, you continued your modeling career. You began taking it seriously. You were no longer picky - big or small project, you accepted it.

You came back because several Japanese brands wanted you as their model. You obliged of course. You liked being busy and you believe you’re good at what you do.

Your phone reminder about tonight’s event goes off, speaking of which. The shoe brand you worked with in the US is launching their line in Japan. They just made you their official Japanese brand ambassador.

No rest for you. Just how you wanted it.

–

The MSBY members line up when they arrive at the place. Media immediately catches up with cameras all over them.

“Hey hey heeeeey!” Bokuto yells eagerly to the photographers.

Atsumu is doing his signature fist in the air pose before he serves.

Hinata is smiling ear to ear with his hand on his head, not knowing how to pose for the media. Sakusa, on the other hand, has his hands on his pockets with no expression on his face.

Kuroo might have made a wrong decision in letting Sakusa be the fourth person to attend. He should’ve chosen someone more camera-friendly from their roster. Oh well. What’s done is done. What’s important is he got to sign a deal with the brand to sponsor MSBY.

When he graduated, he immediately got accepted at the Japanese Volleyball Association, Sports Promotion Division. It’s just as he wanted, to make use of his education and still be involved with the sport that he loves.

Part of tonight’s job is going around and greeting the Marketing staff of the brand. He engages in small talk and thanks them for the opportunity. The event is simple, nothing too fancy. It’s a bit dull for his taste, probably because the shoe line is all-encompassing - lifestyle, sports, formal wear. Hence, the lack of a specific theme.

After the obligatory chatters, he goes back to where he left the guys, but finds not one of them there. Damn it.

One thing he likes about his job is he got to reconnect with several people from his high school who are now part of the Japanese pro teams. The drawback is that sometimes he has to handle them, especially at events like this. He knows Bokuto and Hinata all too well, so he knows how to manage the two. However, with Miya and Kiyoomi in the fray, it’s a different ball game. Knowing how chaotic the four can get, he picks up the pace.

‘For Christ’s sake, they better not be fucking around.’ He says in his head while his eyes search for any of the four.

Unknown to Kuroo, Atsumu is strolling around the area with Sakusa after the photographers had their fill of them. He suddenly stops and fixates his gaze on something that catches his interest. “Omi-kun. Imma introduce myself to that chick over there. Couldja not tell Kuroo-san?”

Sakusa looks at the direction Atsumu’s looking at. When he sees the subject of interest, he scowls. He’s already sure that Atsumu’s about to make a move on the girl he just eyed. “Don’t. Technically, we’re at work.”

It falls on deaf ears. Atsumu waves nonchalantly as he walks away from him. He’s gonna get that hot chick’s number and no one’s stopping him.

“Miya-san! We were looking for you.” Hinata suddenly appears. Atsumu doesn’t notice him approaching because his attention is on the girl.

“Yeah, Tsum-tsum. Where did you go?” Atsumu glares at Bokuto. “Don’t call me that in public!” he says angrily in hushed tones. He looks around to see if anyone heard, then lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Oh look. There’s a cute lady!” Hinata says with excitement. Bokuto’s eyes go after where Hinata is looking at. “Woah! Let’s go greet her?” Bokuto asks Hinata enthusiastically. Hinata nods with the same eagerness.

Atsumu grits his teeth. “What the hell?! I saw her first!”

“So? We can all say hi.” Bokuto retorts innocently. Atsumu wants to snap at Bokuto’s lack of ability to take a hint. “Let’s go, Hinata!” Hinata and Bokuto march towards the girl. Atsumu walks briskly to catch up to the two.

“There’s no way you two are going before me” he says while getting a step ahead of them.

Sakusa looks at the three dunces who’s now hogging the poor girl. Even at a distance, he can hear their voices. He already knows that Kuroo will be smacking them if he sees them, including him, despite not being involved in their ruckus. He should pacify them before they do something more embarrassing.

He goes to where they are and grabs Bokuto’s shoulder. “Hey. Cut it out.”

“Oh, btw. This is Omi-kun. You should see him warm up. His wrists are so cool! But freaky.”

Sakusa’s eye twitches. It’s not his intention to be introduced, and the way Bokuto did it is not to his liking.

He looks at the girl who looks like she’s just putting up with them. “You’re bothering her.” He says, reprimanding.

Atsumu feels a firm grip on his shoulders. Must be Sakusa on his grill instead since he couldn’t faze Bokuto. Atsumu’s temper is seething at how he’s persistently getting cockblocked tonight. “Fuck off, Omi-kun.” he hisses under his breath.

“Excuse me?”

Atsumu freezes when he recognizes the voice. He slowly looks at who the voice came from, hoping that he was wrong. Very unfortunately for Atsumu, he was dead on. He stands up straight and looks somewhere else. The other three notices how he suddenly stops talking. When they look at him, they see Kuroo instead, his eyes in crescent slits and a sinister smile creeping on his face. They stop muddling around and stand up straight at the same time, joining Atsumu like a bunch of middle schoolers being discplined.

“Come on now, boys.” Kuroo says with hidden threat on his voice. He’s never putting these four in the same campaign again. He’s the same age as them, but he feels like he’s losing his youth when he’s working with these four oafs. He has to always step it up or else they’re all going to get in trouble. He sighs.

He turns to the girl.

“I’m so sorry about th-”

He blinks a few times to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. But he can’t be wrong. He can never mistake you as someone else. Everything about you is etched in his brain.

His eyes roam all over you, letting himself be captivated by you again - your alluring eyes, your soft lips, your breasts that fit just right in his hands, your legs that wrapped around his back when you felt too good.

It really is you in the flesh. You, who suddenly vanished and left him hanging right when he realized that he wanted more than what your friendship offered.

He had no idea what happened. That night when you said you were going to meet him, you did not show up. Not a text or call to let him know why, even the days after. But he let it slide. He thought maybe it was just your usual disappearing act. You did disappear though. For good.

A lot of times, he still thinks about a particular day. He stayed up all night drinking and playing games and when he woke up, he saw one text from you. He’s never been that excited just from one text. At last, you decided to show up again. His excitement quickly turned to panic when he read it.

“…I’m leaving. Wanna meet before my flight?”

A text that was sent hours earlier when he was still out of it. What if he woke up earlier? What if he read your text and met with you? What difference would that have made?

Until now, it’s still on his mind how he frantically pressed his phone keys and called you back as many times as he could, only to get a “cannot be reached” prompt every time. He tried searching for you but he couldn’t. Your social media accounts were all gone. Since he did not know anyone in your life, there was no one to ask. He thought you both had a chance, but in a snap, you were gone from his life.

It stung more than he wanted to admit. He eventually gave up. He wouldn't be able to find someone who doesn’t want to be found. Yet, you’re here, in front of him. Just a few steps and he can hold you.

Seeing you still as beautiful as he remembers, brings a familiar tug in his chest that he’s not sure he likes.

“Kuroo, if you wanted to say hi too, just say so.” Bokuto complains, noticing how he’s ogling at you as well. He notices how the other three are frowning at him as well.

He scoffs. These boys have no fucking clue that what he had in mind was more than meagerly saying hi.

“Yea, yea. My bad.” He puts his hands mid-air and pins a phony smile on his face. He turns to you and puts his hands on his pockets.

“Sorry about them.” You open your mouth to say something but your gaze drifts to the four Jackals who are looking at both of you. Instead, you smile politely and bow. What a fake-ass personality.

He’s at work and there shouldn’t be any monkey business, but he can’t resist the urge. He’s not having this polite facade you’re pulling right now. He hasn’t seen you in months. He needs to see the real you. He moves closer. You falter and take one step back. Too bad for you, his strides are longer. Just one step and you’re already within his grasp. Finally. He tucks your hair behind your ear, his touch lingering on your jaw.

“How’re you, kitten?” He says a bit too loud than he wanted.

Your eyes become wide as saucers with crimson specks dusting your cheeks. He takes delight at the sight. You look exactly as you did on that rooftop.

Part 4 | Part 6 | m.list

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fanfiction #kuroo testuro #kuroo x reader #Kuroo Tetsurou #kuroo x you #kuroo tetsuro angst #kuroo #kuroo x female reader #kuroo angst

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starrynite7114 · 4 years ago

Text

Everything is you: fights

A/N: Good afternoon everyone! Wanted to share this lovely update with you all before I go to bed. I have class in 5 hours and work in 7 hours. Yes, I am insane, but I still wanted to give you all of this as it has been sitting on my google docs. Work has me going crazy along with school, please bare with me. I’m excited for this short as this delves further into their background!

Enjoy! All of you are just so kind to me, I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but I love you all so much!

everything is you

Word count: 7028

Warnings: Angst, Fluffy

Masterlist

tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @carlaangel86 : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @thewarriorprincessxo : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespasta : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life : @onmyspookysblock : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle : @mrs-losa : @1-800-imagines : @phoenixhalliwell : @lady-pswrld : @dazzledamazon : @getyourcrayoncas : @fvckthisbxtchup : @lukealvxz : @scuzmunkie : @lilac-tea-time : @danie1432 : @cocotheclown : @soaronmywings : @my-rosegold-soul : @buttercup812 : @un-poetryy : @angelreyesgirl : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @vicmackeybullshxt : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer : @khyharah : @strawberrywritings : @cherry-icetea : @fuzzy-jellyfish : @losolvidad0s : @brownsugarcoffy : @courtrae89 : @prdsdjarin : @blessedboo : @marvelmaree : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead : @thesandbeneathmytoes : @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind : @maddie-georges : @pearlkitten33 : @aquamento : @incorrect-mcdanno : @that-chick212 : @imanerdychubbyqueen : @60shannon : @deeandbobbymcgee : @rebel-without-cause-x

Angel and Alena had plenty of fights throughout the years.

But the first fight they had, Angel always teased her how dumb it was. And he also stated it was more jealousy than anything.

Angel was able to drive during his senior year of high school, which made everything so much easier. He got a beat up car but he didn’t care, it got him from point a time point b.

“Angel, I’ll just take my umbrella.” Alena argued when he dropped her off. He was playing hooky today, but he still dropped Alena and EZ off. It wasn’t raining yet, but it was predicted later today.

“No, I told you I’m gonna come pick you up. They said it won’t rain till four, so you’re good. I’ll be here to pick you up at 3.” Angel ruffled her hair while EZ waited outside with Carla.

“Okay,” she grabbed her bag and before she could leave, Angel stopped her. “What’s up?”

“Happy birthday, I’ll see you later.”

Alena beamed up at him and said thank you before slipping out of his car. Her crush was ridiculous and she had to push it away. Angel would never be interested, he bad Monica.

“Happy birthday best friend!” Carla greeted her, wrapping her into an embrace.

“Look at that blush, did Angel kiss you?” EZ teased.

Carla, Alena and EZ were the three musketeers. They shared things with one another especially after Carla came into their group. And since they did, EZ knew about her horrible crush on his brother.

“Shut up.” Alena pushed him.

They made their way to homeroom which Alena and Carla had together.

Alena couldn’t wait till the end of the day. Angel promised to give her her birthday present at the end of the day. She didn’t care what it was, everything Angel gave her was something she cherished.

Her mother also had a big dinner planned.

Her father wasn’t home, he was in Korea, but she didn’t mind. A celebration usually meant her father got drunk and those situations were not fun.

Alena pulled her jacket closer together as she walked home from school. It was four and Angel never showed up.

EZ had baseball practice, which she sure was canceled. Carla went home early since she had a dentist appointment. Instead, Alena walked home alone, in the pouring rain.

She knew she should have taken her umbrella.

Now, she was going to be sick and that was never fun.

When she made it home, her mother scolded her endlessly about how she shouldn’t have left her umbrella in Angel’s car. It wasn’t like Angel to not text her if he wasn’t going to be able to make it.

But two hours later and after the scolding stopped, Angel was apologizing profusely, telling her was on his way to her house. He was with Monica and the time passed, he didn’t even notice that it was as late as it was.

She didn’t want to see him though. She felt irrational for being upset, for being jealous since Angel forgot her on her special day, but she was hardly irrational and she had the right to be mad, even for just a day.

‘It’s okay. We finished dinner and I have homework, you don’t have to come.’

She took off her glasses, placing it on her bedside drawer. She already finished all her work during school in anticipation for her birthday celebration. She still had fun with her mother and brother. Felipe, Marisol and EZ came by to have some cake, but otherwise, Alena went to her room to do homework, even though it was all done.

Angel

‘Come on cielo, I’m sorry. I’m almost there.’

She sighed, replying quickly.

‘It’s okay, I’m going to sleep. Good night.’

Alena closed her eyes, hugging her pillow letting sleep takeover.

Angel sighed, parking his car in front of his home. It was midnight and he lied, telling his parents he had an extra shift at the grocery store. But he didn’t. He also didn’t tell his parents that he skipped school to fuck around with Monica.

He fell asleep after they had sex and the next thing he knew, it was eight in the evening and he missed Alena’s dinner, he didn’t pick her up.

Walking in the house, he was startled when the light turned on. He looked over and it was EZ.

“The fuck are you doing sitting in the dark?” Angel covered his eyes since EZ shone the lamp on him.

“Did you know Alena walked home in the rain?” EZ wasn’t holding back. He got it, Angel had a girlfriend, but it was Alena’s birthday.

“I don’t need this shit right now. I fucked up, my bad. I’ll make it up to her.” Angel brushed it off. It was the only thought that was keeping him from knocking on Alena’s window.

“You know how easy she gets sick, you should have just left her umbrella with her.” EZ stood up for where he was sitting, shaking his head.

Angel opened his mouth to say something, but EZ’s next words surprised him.

“Bryan said he’ll take Alena to school now. It’ll just be you, me and Carla.”

“Why?” It was the only thing Angel could muster to say.

EZ shrugged. “He said Alena requested for him to bring her to school.”

Alena couldn’t be upset for him for long, he was confident at that.

But Alena was upset at him.

The most irritating part, she spoke to him, was very pleasant, but she didn’t let him back in. It was like back to the beginning for them.

This went on for about a month and by Thanksgiving he was back in Alena’s good graces.

But just before winter break, it all fell apart again.

Alena held the Tupperware of cookies she made for Angel and his teammates. They were very nice to her and she always tried to bring them some homemade pastries to lighten up their spirits after practice.

It was five in the afternoon which meant practice was done. The boys should be showered and ready to go. She waited by the end of the field, where she usually waited for Angel. She saw them by the entrance of the field and just waited by the end since they looked like they were having a bit of fun with Angel.

“I’m glad your shadow is back Angel, she makes good ass baked goods.” One of his teammates teased him.

“Yeah, if only she mixed it with some kush, we would be golden.”

Angel shook his head at his teammates, laughing along.

“Thought you would want her to stay away from you, didn’t you say you were getting annoyed by her constantly following you around?”

Alena froze when she heard that.

There’s no way.

“Yeah, but you know, my mom wants me to look after her. Once I graduate, she’ll be out of my hair.” Angel didn’t mean that, sort of. There were times Alena annoyed him, especially when he wanted to be alone with his friends and Monica, but those thoughts faded rather quickly. “She’ll be Ezekiel’s problem then.”

“Just leave her stranded again, maybe she’ll stop talking to you then.”

“Or you know, you can tell her that you’ll never have feelings for her, especially when you have a beauty like Monica.”

Angel frowned at that, but he just laughed along with them.

Popularity was a bitch.

Alena couldn’t stop the tears that fell from her eyes. She turned and she ran into one of Angel’s teammates, Rico.

“Hey, Alena, what are you doing here?” He saw the tears in her eyes. “Are you crying?”

“Yeah, sorry allergies.” Alena quickly wiped them and smiled up at him.

He wasn’t stupid, he was right behind Alena hearing everything Angel and his other teammates said.

“Alena.” Rico sighed.

“Sorry, can you just give this to Angel and the guys? I don’t want it to go to waste. Thank you. Have a good break.” Alena smiled at him again and walked away quickly.

She was thankful her brother waited for her, especially since they were headed to LA to spend winter break there. When she got inside the comforts of her brother’s car, the tears fell freely then.

“Lena? What’s wrong?” Bryan frowned.

“Nothing, sorry. Can we please leave?”

Bryan wanted to argue, but he didn’t want Alena to be worked up.

Everything changed from there.

Angel attempted to contact her throughout the winter break.

No answer.

EZ didn’t even have an answer for him.

Then he didn’t see her at school.

No matter how hard he tried to make their paths cross, it never happened.

Football season had him busy along with the senior activities with his friends and Monica. Next thing he knew, he was graduating and headed for college.

But something was missing.

On the day of graduation, he and Monica broke up, since she was going to Cal State L.A. and Alena’s absence took a toll on their relationship. Monica was never bitter, but even she noticed Angel wasn’t the same after Alena disappeared on him.

Angel wasn’t even sure why he didn’t think of this sooner, but Angel found himself outside of Alena’s window. He peered inside and saw Alena moving around in her room. The window was opened since her parents didn’t believe in turning the AC on until nine in the evening.

He climbed through the window, startling Alena.

“Angel, what are you doing here?”

“You wouldn’t talk to me, so here I am.” Angel knew what happened. Rico made sure he knew that he fucked up and broke Alena’s heart. Seeing her now, he didn’t realize just how much he missed her.

“My mom said she spoke to your mom. You are relieved of your duties.” Alena managed to smile, something she perfected while her father criticized her, to try and better her. Through hurtful words, she managed to smile and persevere, it’s what kept her sane. “If I was such a burden to you, all you had to do was tell me, I wouldn’t have held it against you because at least I heard it from you.”

Angel remembered that talk. It was part of the reason he didn’t try to pursue Alena when she was at home. Her father was home much more often and his mother advised him to give her time as Alena was under the impression he spoke to her out of obligation.

Angel sighed. “Fuck, I missed you.” He was drinking her in, realizing he hasn’t been in the same room as her since that day before winter break last year.

“What?” Alena looked up at Angel. She missed him too, but she didn’t want to tell him that.

“I missed you, Alena. You haven’t spoken to me in six months.” Angel took a step towards her, but she backed away. He didn’t want to frighten her, so he didn’t move and stayed in place.

“Yes, and that’s what you wanted. I’m no longer burdening you with taking care of me.” Alena continued to pack like what she was doing prior to Angel coming in.

“What are you doing?” He noticed the clothes all over her bed then.

“I’m packing.”

“Why?” He slightly panicked but tried his best to not show it.

“My brother and I are going to Korea with my mom for the summer.” Alena didn’t have to explain anything to him, but she didn’t want to be rude.

“What? How long will you be gone?”

“2 months.”

“You’re coming back right?”

“I don’t see why that would matter to you?”

“How the fuck can you even say that to me?”

“Look, I told you, you’ve been relieved from your duties. You don’t have to apologize or do anything to make it up to me, we’re good.” She smiled at him. “We had a good few years even though you befriended at your mother’s behest. Thank you for being my friend.”

Angel wanted to shake her, he was frustrated to say the least.

“Are you kidding? Alena, I fucking get it, what I said was fucked up, but I didn’t mean it. I was an asshole, but you know you’re my friend and I didn’t befriend you for my mom.” He was certain it wouldn’t even make a dent with Alena.

“Can you leave? I don’t want my father to come in and catch you.”

“You got me fucked up if you think we’re done.”

Alena didn’t say anything and just watched Angel leave through her window. It was endearing that he was trying now, but she made up her mind.

===============

Angel was outside sitting down at their porch, waiting for the Kim’s to come back. He heard the door open, but kept his eyes at their house, he felt that if he even looked away once, she would appear and he would miss her.

To say he’s been antsy the past two months would be an understatement. Ezekiel spoke to her through some messaging app. But otherwise, he mostly saw his mother speaking to her mother from time to time.

He tried messaging her, but she literally ignored his messages.

“You doing okay son?” He heard his father ask.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m good pops.” Angel looked over at his father quickly before looking back to the house again.

“They’re supposed to have dinner at our place tonight Angel, you can see her then.” Watching Angel going through the motions have been painful for Marisol and Felipe. It was okay when she was ignoring him, but he could still see her. This? This was different. Angel worked at the carniceria often to keep himself distracted. Angel was slated to start practice soon at UCSD, after getting a scholarship to play football.

“I just want to make sure they arrived safely.” Angel replied, not going to be dissuaded regarding waiting for her.

Felipe smiled. His son was in love and he wasn’t even aware of it yet. “Okay, well, your mother needs you to run to the store once they arrive.”

“Sure thing pops.”

Felipe patted his back before going inside. Angel saw Bryan’s car pull up in front of their house then. He immediately stood up and made his way over. He watched as Michelle and Bryan exited the car. He waited for one of the back passenger doors to open but they didn’t.

“Reyes, you’re up early.”

It was nine in the morning and a Saturday. He usually wasn’t up till noon.

“Yeah, worked out this morning.” A lie. “How was your trip?”

“Good, too fucking hot, but what’s new.” Bryan chuckled.

“Angel, my favorite Reyes!”

Angel chuckled, making his way over to Michelle, giving her a hug.

She placed her hands on his cheeks, pinching both of them. “Look at you! Too skinny, your mom and I have to fatten you up.”

Angel laughed at that. She definitely missed her.

“Where’s Alena?”

Michelle pursed her lips while Bryan kept quiet as he took their stuff out.

“Is she coming later?” He was getting nervous. They were looking anywhere but him.

“My sister didn’t tell you I’m guessing.” Bryan shut his trunk. “My sister moved to San Diego with our father. She switched schools and is going to attend the private school my father has been asking her to attend.”

Angel laughed. “Quit playing, is she in the back seat?”

“Just go inside umma.” Bryan walked over to Angel, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Listen, my mom doesn’t know you and Alena fell out, well at least the extent of it, but I do. I get it, you’re a high school football star who had to look cool in front of his friends. My sister doesn’t need that in her life. She’s very unsure of her place already and the last thing she needs is someone who pretends to be her savior when he’s not. My sister isn’t as fragile as you think. Thank you for taking care of my sister, but you’re good now.” Bryan picked up their luggage and turned to Angel one last time. “Stay away from my sister.”

Angel watched as Bryan brought their stuff inside. This wasn’t possible. Alena wouldn’t leave him like this. It’s always been them. He didn’t give a fuck if they were young, but they valued their friendship. He fucked up, he knew that, but she had to give him a chance to make it up to her.

He stood by his word, they weren’t done.

Far from it.

When he finally broke Ezekiel down, he went to her school after his class. He waited anxiously to see her. He hasn’t seen her for four months. He even brought her favorite Starbucks drink since it was hot. He heard her laugh before he saw her.

When he looked up, he saw Alena and she was with a guy. He was at least his height, of asian descent. He had his arm around her, playfully teasing her. He saw that familiar blush on her cheeks and he felt his heart clench.

His Alena had a boyfriend.

Alena looked up and saw Angel. Her smile dropped and she stepped away from Nick.

“Hey, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She could see how tense Angel’s shoulder looked.

“Sure, same cafe?”

“Yes.” She smiled up at him.

Nick hugged her and she hugged him back. Once he was out of sight, she made her way to Angel.

“So what, you replaced me now?” Angel immediately spat out, not able to control himself.

“What?” She tilted her head in confusion.

Angel groaned. “Don’t do that, I can’t be mad at you when you’re looking cute.” He held the drink out. “Here, I got your favorite with soy milk.”

“Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.” Alena took the drink.

“I know, but I wanted to.” He looked around and whistled. “Nice school.”

“Yeah, it is.” She looked down at her shoes, holding her drink. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.” Angel shoved his hands in his pocket. “Can we talk?”

“Um, I have swimming practice.”

“I can wait for you, I finished my last class two hours ago.”

Alena was hesitant and Angel could see that.

“Alena, please, I just want to speak to you.” Angel pleaded. “I miss you.”

“Okay.”

Alena came out of her practice, her coach stepping out with her. Angel stood up from where he was sitting outside the pool area. He noticed how close Alena was with her coach. He remembered that he’s been helping Alena out since she was twelve. Her father had it set out for her that she could swim for the Olympic team. Alena has won a few competitions statewide and nationwide, but he knew Alena didn’t want to do it.

It made her antsy.

“Angel, nice to see you again!” Coach Henderson waved at him.

“You too coach!” Angel waved.

Alena smiled and thanked him, walking over to Angel.

“Is your dad in town?”

“No, he’s in Korea for the next five months. My brother is staying with me.” She explained. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Are you hungry? Let’s go eat.” Angel offered as they walked towards the entrance of the school.

“I’m not really hungry.” She was famished, but the last thing she wanted to do was spend time with Angel. There was no point on continuing, she knew Angel was making the effort cause he felt bad.

“Come on Alena, I’m trying here. I know you’re upset, but I really do want to be here for you.” Angel didn’t know what he could do to appease Alena. She moved out of Santo Padre to technically get away from him, but he ended up moving to San Diego.

“You don’t have to try. I’m no longer following you around, you have other people to busy your time with. Please just leave me alone.”

“Not going to happen.”

“Listen, you left me alone for almost a year, let’s not break that streak.”

“Alena, please, what do I have to do to get back in your good graces?”

“Nothing, we’re fine Angel. You’re scot free.”

Angel shook his head. “No, we’re not fine. You can’t even look at me.”

“Alena.” Angel and Alena looked over at the entrance of the school and found Bryan there. Alena quickly walked over to her brother, who was staring down at Angel.

“Thought I told you to stay away Reyes.” Bryan offered his hand to Alena and she gave her backpack to him.

“You can go fuck yourself Bryan.”

Bryan chuckled and looked over at his younger sister. “Told you he would come looking for you.”

“It’s fine, he’ll stop.”

Bryan shook his head. His baby sister could be so naive.

For the next two months, Angel came to see Alena after school and waited for her after practice. She would be polite and talk to him, but she never stayed with him for longer than fifteen minutes. Angel didn’t want to force her and went with whatever she offered him. On her birthday, he brought her a Red Velvet cupcake, which was her favorite.

===============

“Oh, I got you something else too.” Angel took a bag from his backpack, handing it to Alena.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Yeah, you always tell me that, yet I never listen.”

Alena smiled, looking down at the bag in her hands. She took out the paper and reached inside the bag. Pulling out the contents, she gave him a questioning look.

“Just open it cielo.” He urged.

Alena opened the box and was happily surprised at what was inside. It was a jewelry box. It was pale blue, a smooth wooden texture.

“I made it, figured you need a jewelry box to keep all those charms Nick gets you.” Angel couldn’t help the disdain in his voice. But every week, Alena had a different charm on her bracelet from Nicholas. It was annoying.

“I do need a jewelry box, thank you Angel.” She was in awe, inspecting every crevice. “This is beautiful, you didn’t have to do this.”

“Yeah, I made it. I found it while my mom was thrift shopping, figured I could restore it.” Angel shrugged, slightly nervous, not knowing if Alena would like his gift.

“Thanks Angel.” Alena’s eyes softened and Angel was so relieved. That smile on her face made his heart beat faster and he felt so relieved.

“Is Nick your boyfriend?”

Angel’s question surprised Alena and she placed the jewelry box back inside the box.

“No, he’s just my friend.” Alena stood up, their fifteen minutes were up.

“Cielo, it’s your birthday, can I at least take you out? I know Bryan is working late and your mom is in Korea.”

“No, it’s okay, I would just like to go home.” Alena put her backpack on. “Thank you again Angel. We’re more than even now. You made it up for my birthday last year. We’re good.”

She began to walk away, but Angel followed after her.

“The fuck you mean we’re good?” He softly grabbed her arm, turning her to face him. “You think doing this out of guilt? Alena, it’s your birthday, I’ve been trying to make it up to you not only because I feel guilty, I miss my friend.”

“We were never friends.”

Alena’s words wounded Angel and he let go of her arm. That’s all it took. Alena walked away and was happy to not hear any footsteps after her. She was relieved to see Nick outside, waiting for her with a bouquet of flowers.

“Hey, happy birthday.” Nick greeted her, offering the bouquet to her. “I had Mr. Choi drive me here after violin practice.” He looked beyond Alena and saw Angel was making their way towards them. “Your friend is coming.”

“He isn’t my friend. Let’s go.” Nick opened the door, Alena slipped in and he slipped in behind her. Alena watched as Angel stopped by the entrance of the school, the hurt and anger evident on his face.

He would give up on her now. He had to.

===============

That was a month ago and Alena hasn’t seen Angel since. No text messages, no calls, no emails, nothing. She was relieved since she didn’t want to keep seeing him. It wasn’t that she hated Angel, she just didn’t want to be hurt by him again.

She was texting Carla about their plans this weekend since she was coming over for the weekend. She was so excited to do something with Carla since she felt as if she hadn't seen her for quite some time.

There was no swimming practice for a month since Coach Henderson was out of the country. It worked out for her since she just wanted a break. Her father has extended his stay in Korea and she honestly couldn’t be more happier.

“I think I’m gonna get some yogurt and some chicken for dinner.” Alena smiled to herself, liking her plan for the night. Bryan was working later again, so she figured she could cook something up for him while enjoying her chicken.

“Talking to yourself mi cielo?”

She heard him, she did, but she continued to walk pretending she didn’t. They were done. Angel wasn’t supposed to come back.

“You can keep walking and I’ll just follow. You know I don’t mind talking while you walk silently.”

Alena looked at her phone and knew that Nick was at violin practice. She did not like this one bit. Okay, maybe she did. The butterflies in her stomach were going wild knowing Angel was here. But she had to remain strong. She couldn’t exactly be with Angel.

Her father arranged for her to marry Nick.

It was the reason she went to Korea during the summer.

She was thankful Nick was kind, so it wouldn’t be difficult to marry him.

She wanted to argue with her father, say she would never marry Nick.

But she would never marry Angel.

She still had time to meet someone, but at times, it was better to accept your fate.

“Come on cielo, you can’t ignore me forever.” Angel followed after her.

Her words hurt him and he was mad for about two weeks, but midterms were a bitch so he focused on that, leaving Alena to her own devices. Maybe she’ll learn to appreciate him more.

Alena didn’t reply and continued to walk to her favorite Korean fried chicken place. She walked in the restaurant and Angel stayed behind, placing a cigarette stick on his mouth to relieve his stress. He didn’t know what to do with Alena, she usually spoke to him by now, but it’s been almost a year.

When Alena walked back out, Angel threw the cigarette butt down and walked after her.

“How was your birthday dinner with Nicholas?” Angel hated that guy. He looked so fucking boring.

Alena chose to not reply, deciding to skip on the yogurt. Angel didn’t know where her father lived and she preferred to keep it that way. She stopped walking and turned to face Angel.

He stopped, making sure he didn’t bump into her.

“Look, I told you, we’re not friends. You don’t have to come see me. If I see you during the holidays, cool, but otherwise, let’s just keep our distance.” Alena glared at Angel when this obnoxious smirk appeared on his face.

“I’m not leaving you alone. And we are friends, best friends even. I get why you’re upset, and I’m sorry. Just let me back in Alena.” Angel hated this distance between them. Alena was his best friend even though she considered Carla hers.

Alena wasn’t sure what to say to Angel. She wanted to talk to him and she could tell he was sorry, but she knew remaining friends with him would be hard on her. She was slated to marry in five years when she was twenty-one years old. Getting out of this arrangement did not seem to be a possibility and again, Nick was kind and they got on well.

“I’m getting married, Angel and I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to continue talking out of respect for my fiance.”

“Excuse me what?” Angel wasn’t sure if he heard her correctly, but there was no mistaking that. She was getting married? To fucking who?

“You heard me, I’m not going to repeat what I just said. But again, we weren’t friends, let’s just keep it the way it is. We can be civil, but it’s best for us to keep it this way.” Alena watched as Angel’s face fell. It hurt her and she wanted to reach out to him, to embrace him, but she refrained. He was the one person who understood her and was always there for her. Now, he would be a distant memory. “Goodbye Angel.”

She turned around to walk away, but his voice stopped her.

“To who?”

“I’m engaged to Nick.”

Angel sat on that for two days. Then he came to a conclusion that he couldn’t let her father control her life in that way.

So he came back and pestered her till finally just before her Thanksgiving break, Alena broke down and let Angel back in.

“I don’t understand why won’t you just leave me alone.” She made her way down the street towards Angel’s car.

Angel took her backpack from her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “There’s no option where I leave you alone, so, better get used to it.”

But Angel wasn’t always the perpetrator when they fought.

The first time Alena upset Angel it was due to Nick. She was twenty-two and Angel was twenty-five. He hasn’t forgotten about it, to this day, he still teased her about it, which now he understood why she hid the fact he was her ophthalmologist.

Angel has been waiting for Alena since they had plans for dinner that night. He knew it was going to be a late dinner since she had class till seven. Coco was seated beside him, awaiting Alena’s arrival too.

Alena failed to mention that Nick was dropping her off, on his bike, the one thing Alena wouldn’t do with Angel. He’s been trying to convince her to ride along with him on his bike, especially since his hermano was more confident with his riding now. But Alena always declined. He wasn’t exactly sure why, but he knew Angel was going to be pissed.

Which was why he, Riz and Creeper had a bet going around. He chose that Angel would be pissed and refused to talk to Alena. Riz believed Angel would just let it slide, especially since it seemed Angel’s bond with Alena was far deeper than some childish shit as riding a motorcycle. Creeper chose the option of Angel would at least punch Nick since everyone knew of his temper and protectiveness over Alena.

They heard a motorcycle coming, but it never made its way inside. Coco looked at Angel as they both stood up. They walked over outside the gate and found a motorcycle coming down the pathway. It wasn’t a Mayan, that was for sure, the rev of the motorcycle sounded different. The motorcycle stopped right before the gate, the rider got off the bike, helping his companion off as well.

The rider helped their companion with their helmet and Coco immediately grabbed Angel, knowing his brother isn’t going to be happy.

They watched as the rider took off his helmet and it was Nick. Alena laughed, covering her mouth and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Thank you for the ride.” She beamed up at him.

“I’ve always wanted to see Santo Padre.” Nick shrugged. “It’s not so bad, just a little warm.”

“It can get cold during the winter.”

“I’m sure it can.” He chuckled, the nervousness he felt all day came back. Placing his helmet on his bike, he stuffed his pockets inside his jacket. “Thanks for helping me with Physics.”

“Yeah, not a problem.” She waved it off.

“Alena,” Nick and Alena looked at one another before they both laughed. “You’re making me nervous.”

“What? Nervous why?” Alena looked over to the clubhouse gate and no one was there, thank god, since she didn’t want Angel to see her being brought by a motorcycle. He always pestered her about riding with him, but she never could. Being that close to Angel was painful.

“Fuck, listen, I didn’t expect for this to happen, but the more time we spend together, the more I find myself falling for you.” Nick looked into Alena’s eyes, her glasses made her eyes more doe eyed. “I know we were engaged at the behest of our parents, but I like you Alena, I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Coco and Angel came out of the yard again, wondering what was taking Alena so long. Coco wished they stayed by the clubhouse now. They watched as Nick leaned down and kissed Alena.

Angel felt his heart clench as he watched Alena let Nick kiss her. He turned around, leaving Coco by the gate. First of all, Alena actually rides with this motherfucker and second, she let him miss her? The fuck was that.

“Alena.” Coco called out.

Alena pulled away and looked like a deer caught in headlights. Nick bit his lip and chuckled, waving a hello to Coco. He nodded his head back and waited for Alena to come walk over to him.

“Um,” Alena bit her lower lip and sighed. “I’m so sorry Nick.”

“It’s okay,” Nick looked down, not surprised by her rejection. “I’ll wait for you.”

“Nick,” Alena began.

“No, I know, but Angel doesn’t know what he has and I doubt he’ll confess to you. He’s not the only person in this world, you have to eventually let someone in.” Nick kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you next week.”

Alena smiled and nodded her head. She walked over to Coco, who had this shit eating grin.

“I would like to thank you for winning me forty dollars Hermana.” Coco chuckled. “Also, heads up, Angel’s pissed.”

“Was I late? Did I miss a call?” She looked at her cell phone and it was nine in the evening. She told him she was going to be late and text him that she was on his way around eight.

“No, more like you brought a boy.”

Alena’s eyebrows furrowed at that. “What’s wrong with that?”

They made it to the group outside the clubhouse, hanging around the bonfire. Angel was nowhere to be seen.

“Hello,” Alena waved at everyone. “Where’s Angel?”

“Dorm.” Creeper replied.

Alena went inside the clubhouse and quickly greeted Hank, Taza and Bishop along with Gilly who was manning the bar. She made her way to the back and found Angel just watching television in his dorm. When he saw her he immediately looked away and she closed the door behind her.

“Hey Angel,” she greeted him cautiously.

“I really don’t want to talk right now Alena.”

The tone of his voice made her frown and nervous. Angel has never been upset at her before.

“Why are you mad at me?” Alena took a step towards him and Angel held his hand up.

“Leave Alena, I don’t want to see or talk to you.” Angel refused to look at her because he knew he would break if he did.

“Okay, sorry.” She didn’t want to push Angel. It was his first time being upset at her and the last thing she wanted to do was upset him further. She didn’t think he would hurt her, but she never pushed when other people were upset at her. They most likely had every right to be upset at her.

Alena walked out and she tried to not cry. She hated crying, it made her feel weak and fragile, like how everyone saw her.

“Princesa, where are you going?” Bishop questioned as she walked by them.

“Going home! My mom called, you know her.” The way she was able to mask her emotions, she was proud of herself. She waved at them and exited the clubhouse.

Making her way to Coco, she quickly said goodbye and he frowned. He called after her but Alena already made her way out of the clubhouse gate. Angel came out of the clubhouse in a hurry, realizing his mistake as soon as she walked out of his room. He heard how deflated she sounded and his heart couldn’t take that.

He was being irrational and jealous. Never in his life had he seen Alena kiss someone else besides him and he wanted to fucking keep it that way. Alena told him she wanted to have a child for him one day and she may have been wasted, but ever since then, he knew she would be his eventually.

“What the fuck did you do?” Coco had stood up then, with plans to go after Alena, but Angel’s appearance halted his moves.

“Shut up.” Angel walked past Coco and right out of the gate. He walked to the front of the yard and could not find Alena. “Fuck!”

Angel ran back inside and got on his motorcycle, driving quickly out of the yard. Alena’s mom wasn’t home and Bryan was in Los Angeles, where would Alena go? And she couldn’t have walked that quickly.

Driving down towards her mother’s new house, he found Alena walking, trying her best to walk fast since her mother’s home was about a fifteen minute walk from the scrapyard.

He parked at the side of the road and got off, jogging after her.

“Cielo,” he called out.

Alena stopped walking and turned around. “Hey,” she wiped her face and smiled at him. “What are you doing?” Her tears were always so painful for Angel. He hated to see her cry.

Angel wasn’t exactly sure why, but he cupped her face and kissed her, surprising Alena as well. She closed her eyes and returned his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Eventually, Angel pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers, both trying to catch their breath. Alena kept her eyes closed as Angel opened his, watching as she took a deep breath. Angel kissed her again and Alena immediately responded.

She didn’t feel this with Nick. The butterflies, the breathtaking aspect of it, the way her leg lifted just like Princess Diaries, only Angel did this for her.

“I want you,” Angel said against her lips.

“Me too, but I’m hungry.”

Angel laughed. “Come on cielo, I’ll make you some food then I can eat what I want.”

“Angel!”

PRESENT DAY

Angel took the mail out of the mailbox, balancing the mail in his hand with the flowers and chocolate he got Alena. He was currently in the doghouse since Angel upset Alena about his insistence that she stopped working with Victor. While he was being unreasonable, he just didn’t fucking like Victor.

Opening the door, he found Cruz sound asleep on the couch, his head on Alena’s lap. Placing the mail, flowers and chocolate down, he picked up Cruz and placed him on his bed. He came back out and picked up Alena, placing her on their bed. His favorite thing to come home to was finding Alena and Cruz asleep. Just knowing he got to come home to them after a hard day, that was all he wanted.

He placed the flowers inside a vase and the chocolate in the fridge. He picked up the mail to sort them out and one stuck out to him. It looked like an invitation with his and Alena’s name on it.

Curiously, he opened it and he just had to let out a cackle.

“This motherfucker is getting married.” The invitation was for Nick’s wedding. Angel wouldn’t say he was still worried about Alena’s childhood friend, but he felt that he was the one that got away for Alena. Though Alena never returned his advances except the one time he kissed her, Angel was still worried.

And to know he was her ophthalmologist? It made it worse for him. He felt like if he made the wrong move, Nick would sweep in.

It was irrational, but he had his insecurities too. He just tried to remain confident because if he didn’t, he would lose his mind. Making his way to their bedroom, he couldn’t resist waking up Alena.

He placed the invitation on the bed and crawled over to Alena, shaking her awake.

“Cielo,” he softly called out.

Alena turned towards him, opened her eyes and yawned. “Hi, I’m still mad at you.”

“I know baby, and I’m sorry.” Angel kissed the back of her hand as he laid down next to her. “I love you.”

“Don’t try to be cute.” She smiled, teasing him.

“I told you, I’m sexy not cute.” Angel kissed her. “So, we got something in the mail.”

“Yeah? What is it?” She closed her eyes, hoping Angel would let her sleep some more.

“Nick sent us an invite to his wedding.” Angel waited for her reaction and he definitely didn’t get it.

“Okay, with Shelby?” Alena opened her eyes, looking at Angel and awaiting a reply.

“Yes, how’d you know?”

Alena shrugged. “They’ve been on and off for years. Glad they finally decided to tie the knot.”

“Alena, wake up, do you not care?” Angel knew the questioned seemed idiotic, but he was curious.

“No, do you?” She closed her eyes again. “Babe, Nick is an old friend and that’s that. We can attend his wedding if you want to, but otherwise, no skin off my back.”

“Alena,”

“Ssh,” Alena cut him off, placing her hand on his lips. “Cud-cud time.” It was what Cruz said whenever he wanted to cuddle, which was something Alena picked up.

Angel laughed and wrapped his arms around Alena, her breathing evened out quite quickly.

He’s had his fair share of fights with Alena, he was just happy it was never too bad that she fully walked away. She almost did, but he would never give up on her.

She was everything to him.

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