#and I’m frustrated bc I wish he just stayed not talking to me

[surayazayad]

Everyone shut UP I’m so unwell ab my own blorbo

[lemonlover1110]

Hello! I hope you are doing well 😌 you are my fav writer and I just wanted to to throw out this crazy brainrot request to u bc I am SICK over it

So Florence nightingale syndrome right? Toji is like a professional boxer or whatever something athletic bc he's a fucking beast and he gets hurt, like his leg or something, and you become his at home occupational therapist. So you're like taking care of him and he's getting feelings for you while also being a stubborn ass bc u push him constantly so he can get better. and he's super hesitant to accept his feelings bc he's a Playboy of course.

I'm just picturing this one scene where you're helping him up and he's leaning on you and he says something like "are you sure you can handle me princess?" Idk I'm insane I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭

Pairing: boxer!Toji Fushiguro x f!caregiver!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, frustrated Toji, Florence nightingale syndrome, Toji has an injured leg and is a little bitch for a bit

*This was so fun to work on and now I'm having thinking a little too hard about boxer toji (I'm ovulating) sofjsof enjoy!

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Toji never really thought he’d be dependent on someone, yet now he can’t even take a shower standing up. After an unlucky boxing match, Toji ended up in a cast and crutches. That’s what he gets for not listening to his son who told him it was around time to retire.

“I’m not a fucking skeleton, I’m good in my field. I can do this for a couple more years.” How he wishes he could swallow his fucking words. He thought that after getting the cast off he’d go back to normal, and he’d have no issue with mobility. He shouldn’t have an issue moving his fucking leg again, he’s been moving it for more than thirty years, why should three months of not moving it change much?

Apparently he can’t do anything, which is why he has someone with him all day every day, helping him so he can get better. Toji’s main issue? He gets frustrated when someone tries to help him. 

“Be careful, it’s hot.” You smile at him as you put his dinner in front of him. He has a scowl on his face as you set it down in front of him. He tried to help make dinner but he couldn’t stand for too long. He’s mad, but not at you. He could never be mad at you. 

Toji wasn’t necessarily fond of you when you started working with him; he hates being dependent on someone else, and he knew that he would have to depend on you for pretty much everything. You try to help him though, and he should be more appreciative of you because of it, but in reality he feels like a fucking baby. He’s grown to like you though… A little too much for his liking. 

You leave him to eat, going to wash the dishes since he can’t do the task yet. Perhaps his own bowl and spoon, but not everything that needs to be cleaned. You watch him from the counter, watching his refusal to pick up the spoon and eat the soup you made him. Earlier he was so prideful, telling you that he would help you every step of the way during dinner, and he couldn’t even finish one third of it. You were proud of him regardless.

“It’s really good, Toji! The potatoes you helped peel really added a touch to it.” You’ve gotten close enough to be on a first name basis. You see each other every day, you stay in the same house, of course you’re close enough to talk to each other so casually. It doesn’t mean you should though. You’ve always managed to keep a very professional relationship with patients, but there’s just something about him that makes it hard for you to be normal around him.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking kid.” He says, pushing the bowl of soup away. He’s not hungry anymore. Toji stands up, his hands holding on to the table to support himself before grabbing his crutches. 

“Toji, if you’re not eating it, can you try to bring it over to me, please?” You ask. You know the soup has cooled down, if he spills it, he’ll be fine.

“If you want it, pick it up yourself.” Toji is clearly mad. You don’t take it to heart though, because you know it’s with himself and not you. 

“How about we go to the park tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a nice day out.” You talk to Toji who tries to watch a documentary. He’s not all that interested in what he put on, caring more about what you have to say. He might not show it, and he tries to deny it, but he has the biggest soft spot for you. “We can also get some ice cream, if you’re in the mood!”

“Hey… I’m sorry about earlier. I was just—” It’s hard to get an apology out of him, but sometimes he knows he’s in the wrong and he feels the need to apologize. He doesn’t want you to be mad at him, even though you’re clearly not upset with him. You’re so understanding and patient with him, he feels like he doesn’t deserve that.

“You’re fine, Toji.” You reassure him with a smile, your hand going over his balled up fist. You feel your heart skip a beat as you touch him. You’ve crossed the line past a professional relationship, and you should set some boundaries within yourself– But his other hand goes on top of your own before he brings it up, softly kissing your knuckles. It’s hard to set boundaries when he feels the same way.

“I’m tired.” He tells you, and you stand up to help him get up. Toji usually denies your help, but this time, he has no problem accepting it. You just want the best for him, and there’s some things that he can’t do completely alone. He has to take baby steps. He’s using you for support, and he’s scared that he’s too heavy for you. He asks you, “Are you sure, princess? Can you handle me? I know I’m pretty big.”

“You’re fine. I can handle you.” You reassure him, and you begin to walk to his bedroom. His room was previously on the second floor, but ever since his injury, he’s moved his bedroom to the first floor. You get him to his bedroom, helping him on the bed. You smile at him before saying, “Let me grab your crutches. You left them in the living room, right?”

Before you can walk away, he grabs your sleeve. Toji’s slowly realizing that he can’t fight off the feelings that consume him when you help him, and he’s usually not a fan of them. Toji’s been tied down once before, he certainly doesn’t want that again. But with you, it’s different. He doesn’t mind the idea.

“Will you lay down with me?” He asks, and you suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. You shouldn’t. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand before he prompts himself up to kiss the corner of your mouth.

“Toji, you know this isn’t something I can do.” You tell him as he looks lovingly into your eyes. “I’m here to help you get better.”

“You can help me get better by laying down next to me.” Toji responds. You grab the hand that so lovingly touches your cheek and kiss it, before bringing your lips down to meet his momentarily. He swears he hears fireworks when your lips meet, even after you pull away.

He’s most definitely in love with you.

“I’ll go get your crutches. Good night, Toji.”

[thehighladywrites]

The Airhead Chronicles

…and the surprise

pairing: cassian x bimbo reader, inner circle x reader, nesta

summary: Not being able to avoid his family anymore, cassian brings you to meet them, despite the new bond. You all get along great and someone particular catches your eye👀 does the night end as amazingly as it began, though?

warnings: tragic backstory, reader’s mysterious aura is finally explained, i’m so sorry but i’ll have to villainize Nesta in this but I love her and will make a fluff fic with her soon

amara’s note: i’m sorry this took a while, life was kinda hectic but it’s all good now. This is quite a short bc i’m trying to build up some angst…

part one part two part three

“Wha- Rhysie? What are you doing here?” Confusion washed over you as Rhys appeared, equally bewildered.

“This is mine and Feyre’s home, we live here, y/n. What brings you here?”

Your puzzled expression deepened. This wasn't adding up. You were supposed to meet Cassian's friends. Maybe you'd gotten the wrong house.

“I’m visiting my mate's friends. Look, I even baked a cake! Doesn’t it look so tasty?” You held up the cake as you flashed him your usual smile as he nodded absentmindedly.

“You two know each other?” Cassian's raised eyebrows reflected his confusion.

“Cassie, this is Rhys. He’s the friend I’ve been telling you about. You know, the one that helped me move and who I work for.” You introduced Cassian to Rhysand, unaware they'd been friends for half a millennium.

“Y/n, why don't you come inside? Feyre and Nyx are here too. I know they’d be thrilled to meet you,” Rhysand suggested, maintaining eye contact with Cassian, whose expression remained unreadable.

“Oh, I wish we could stay, but we have to like go. Gonna meet my handsome man’s friends, and just between us, they’re like super important people, so I need to prepare myself. But you might now them since you’re high lord.” You leaned in, whispering lowly.

Cassian squeezed your hands reassuringly. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Go ahead and say hi, I’ll just talk to Rhys for a second.”

With a smile, you kissed his cheek and skipped inside to greet with your dear friend Feyre and favorite little guy, Nyx.

Cassians pov:

“You want to tell me how the hell you know her?” Cassian struggled to process the revelation. The idea of you and Rhys already knowing each other left him in disbelief. He couldn't fathom how he was being vexed by your super amazing friend, only to find out he was Cassian's friend too.

“Listen, I didn’t know you were mated or anything. I’ve known her since we were faelings.” Rhysand raised his hands, signaling that he harbored no ill intentions towards you and hadn't done anything wrong.

Cassian backed away, hands on his hips, strolling to the drink cabinet. He grabbed two cups, plopping down on the sofa and ruffling his wings in a mix of frustration and contemplation.

“Rhysie, I’m not going to eat you up, unless you want me to. Come sit down and just talk to me.” Cassian huffed, a hint of amusement in his expression as he noticed Rhysand practically glued behind his desk. With a roll of his eyes, Rhys rounded the table and settled down next to his friend.

They sat in silence, downing their third glass of Rhysand's expensive scotch. A nod from Rhys indicated he was ready to explain everything, and he met Cassian's gaze as he began.

“Alright, so when me and my sister were younger, my father made us switch from our private education in Velaris to Hewn City. The bastard claimed he wanted us to toughen up a bit. It was pure evil if you ask me.” A disgusted expression crossed Rhys's face as he recalled the horrors the new educators put him and his sister through in an attempt to toughen them up. The treatment was truly horrible for all the children there.

“There, I met Y/n and her sisters. They were downright horrendous towards her, and so were her parents because she wasn’t learning as quickly as us. She was also highly sought after due to her beauty and kindness, something her sisters envied. Her father is the Master of Coin, so they're loaded, and they had us do classes together. All the masters' children had classes together, separate from the other children of the city, to showcase how higher educated we were, in my father’s words.”

Rhys sighed, taking a sip of his drink before continuing, “Me and Selene befriended her, and you should’ve seen how jealous her sisters were. As heir, I had a lot of ladies interested in my title, and her sisters were among them. So they spread lies, telling everyone how I was bedding her as mere teenagers when, in reality, I was teaching her the work our educator couldn’t be bothered to teach her. After the rumors spread, her parents pulled her out of school to stay at home and learn her place in the court—how to talk to suitors, how to dress and act in front others with higher titles. She was raised like some sort of prized horse, ready to be sold. It was disgusting, the number of times her parents tried to marry her off for the sake of a title. Every time they tried, I intervened.” He smirked at the memory of your parents angry faces as the high lords son interrupted yet another proposal.

Cassian was shocked, slowly taking in the information as he nuged Rhys to continue.

“So, what happened when you became high lord? Did she stay in the city or did she move?”

“After I became High Lord, I finally banned forced marriages and made it punishable. Her parents suddenly found no need for her, so they told her that she either found someone appropriate herself and convinced me it was love, or they would’ve gotten rid of her.”

Cassian's jaw tightened, his fist instinctively knuckling up. He was seriously one second away from flying there and taking matters into his own hands.

“So I told her parents that she was marrying a well-off lord in the Day Court and that she’d be well taken care of, not that they really cared.”

“And, before you jump to conclusions, yes, I did ask her if I should take care of them for her, but she's not keen on the idea. She's way more merciful than I am. Y/n actually asked me to keep my father as the Master of Coin and, believe it or not, she told me not to kill them. According to her, it's better to let them live and witness her thriving one day. Quite the plot twist, no?” Rhysand smiled at your words, thankful that he had a friend to help him survive back in the city.

His smile faded as he remembered the 49 years he spent away from his family friends and city.

“I got her a house in Aetherian Crest, and she has lived there ever since, even during Amarantha’s reign. The only ones who know she exists are Feyre and, well, Nyx too, but he isn’t old enough to understand that.”

A shared laugh echoed through the room at the mention of Nyx, the thought of the little one adding a touch of warmth to the heavy conversation.

Cassian, still perplexed, glanced between Rhysand and the glass in his hand. He couldn't quite grasp what you worked on and the role you played in his life.

“She says to work for you. What exactly does she do, and why did you have her swear to secrecy with that bargain tattoo?” Cassian's irritation grew as he contemplated the idea of you engaging in something so dangerous that it required an irreversible oath.

Rhysand took a deep breath, sensing Cassian's increasing irritation.

“Y/n handles delicate matters, specializing in extracting information from people. Her bubbly personality and openness make it easy for others to confide in her. Y/n oversees a team, playing a crucial role in our court. She chooses to stay hidden because she doesn’t want the weight of our responsibilities. The intel she gathers is extremely essential; I pass it on to Azriel, who acts based on her information. You know those thrilling missions you love so much? Many are based on her information. She is absolutely irreplaceable and knows everything about every court. I made her swear the same oath that you all have sworn for the protection of Velaris.”

Cassian was stunned, yet it all made perfect sense. It dawned on him that he had shared his childhood and spilled secrets to you in just a few weeks. It had taken him centuries to truly open up to the inner circle, and here you were, extracting information within a matter of days. You were so smooth; he hadn't even noticed it happening. Your ability to weave into his life seamlessly left him both amazed and, oddly, more enamored with you.

It would be insulting to express surprise. Cassian had a hunch that you were doing something extraordinary; he just didn't know the specifics. Now that he had the full picture, he felt an overwhelming sense of pride and admiration, realizing that you were even more remarkable than he had initially thought, if that was even possible.

“What? You thought we only had boring study sessions together? Me and Selene taught her how to spy, just the basics of listening for information; the rest is all her.” Rhysand snorted, raising an amused brow at Cassian while taking a sip of his drink.

Cassian sat back, absorbing the revelation. A mix of awe and admiration colored his expression.

“Damn,” he breathed, his eyes fixed on Rhysand. “I didn't know all this about her. Rhys, I'm proud of her. More than I thought possible. Fuck, I’m falling even harder for her, if that's even possible.”

Rhysand chuckled at Cassian's reaction and clapped him on the shoulder. “Congratulations on the bond, brother. You'll find you fall for her in ways you never imagined. It's normal when you're bonded, trust me. The other day, Feyre showed me a new move she had practiced and I fell even harder.”

With a shared laugh, Rhysand and Cassian returned to the gathering, joining you and the others for dinner. The weight of revelations lingered but was set aside for the warmth of camaraderie, good company, and a meal shared among friends.

—

As he explained that the friends you had come to see were Rhysand and the rest of the Inner Circle, a blush crept onto your cheeks. The realization hit you – you had interacted with them so casually, forgetting for a moment that they were the most significant figures in the Night Court. But they were so nice to you, so did it really matter that you talked about ideal sex positions with the girls?

Seated at the dinner table, everyone enjoyed the meal together. You found yourself leaning into Cassian, the atmosphere around the table filled with laughter, shared stories, and the comforting feeling of being among friends.

Azriel had been sneaking glances at you, not really making much conversation, but occasionally cracked a dry joke or expressed his opinion on topics when asked. He found you interesting, not anything scandalous, he just knew there was more to you, his spymaster instincts picking up a mysterious vibe from you.

Amren just looked at you from head to to, nodding with a tiny movement, one you almost missed, and kept to herself the entire dinner, disappearing the second the food was gone.

Elain had been the most welcoming and openly discussed similar interests with you. She seemed to bond with you the most, appreciating your shared interests. You found her adorable and had complimented everything from her dress and hair to the flowers she planted on the table.

Later, in the sitting room, you and Cassian settled on the sofa, and Elain sat across the room. Eager to chat with her, you sauntered over, sitting extremely close.

Leaning in, you began, “Elain, I find you really, really cute. You remind me of a deer; I love them, they’re so adorable. And i heard tou killed the king of hybern. You’re soo brave!! ” Your words hung in the air, creating a bit of a nervous atmosphere, but Elain let out a small giggle at the proximity and the compliment.

“Ohh, thanks. You’re very pretty too. I like the bows in your hair. And it was nothing really, just protected my sisters.”

Your eyes widened at her cute stutter and the way she squirmed. Gods, she was sooo cute you thought you were gonna die!! You so desperately wanted to be friends with her.

You smiled at her one last time, leaving her with a pounding heart and a nervous smile. You skipped happily back to Cassian who looked mighty amused, ready to enjoy the rest of the evening with his mate.

—

Later during the evening, your arms wrapped around his massive bicep. Leaning your head on it, the warmth of the meal making you sleepy, you scooted closer to Cassian, placing both of your legs on one of his thighs as you rested on his arm.

In that moment, safety, warmth, and reassurance radiates from your mate.

“Cassie, I wanna sleep. M'soooo tired,” you mumbled against his warm skin. His rich laughter rumbled through his body, making you smile like a fool.

Holy fuck, you were so in love with him.

“It’s okay, baby. Do you want me to fly us back to your home or do you want to sleep in my old room?”

You perked up at the thought of seeing his old bedroom, filled with everything that defined him.

“Yes, please! Your old bedroom sounds super cool. Can't wait to see it. And, you know, maybe I could blow you or something?” you said, mundane, as if you were discussing the weather or the latest book you read

Honestly, like, who even cares if anyone hears you talking? It's totally okay to wanna please your mate, right? Ugh, people and their silly fucking rules, it was driving you crazy. If you wanna announce to the world that Cassian fucks you like there’s no tomorrow, then you totally should, no questions asked!

Giggles and laughs filled the room at your crude comment, everyone a bit tipsy after several bottles of wine were shared between you.

—

Cassian's strong and sturdy body carried you on his back as he gave you a piggyback ride through the house, providing a private tour before reaching his designated room in Rhysand's massive estate.

With your boobs pressed softly against his back, you tightened your arms around him, excitedly expressing your dirty wishes for what you wanted to do together.

His arousal was evident as his pants tightened around his cock.

His heart craved to cherish you eternally, eager to bring you joy in every way possible. In this short time, Cassian found himself wholeheartedly falling for you. Filled with a urgency, he yearned to share just how much you meant to him and the extraordinary lengths he'd go, wrapped in those three words and eight letters.

But life wasn’t a fairytale, especially his.

His body froze in shock as he swung open the door, completely taken aback by the unexpected sight of his old lover standing in the middle of his room. Her hands fidgeted nervously before a palpable wave of hatred emanated from her eyes as she shifted her gaze towards you, intensifying the unexpected and shocking nature of her visit.

You, still on top if Cassian, missed the tension in the air as he locked eyes with his old lover. The atmosphere crackled with unresolved emotions.

Cassian, with you still on his back, shifted uncomfortably, trying to gauge the situation.

He took a deep breath, attempting to regain control of the unexpected encounter. “Nesta,” he said her name with a forced calmness that couldn't hide the turmoil beneath the surface. “What are you doing here?”

Nesta's lips curled into a bitter smile, and her gaze never wavered. “I heard you found someone new. Thought I'd see what kind of female you thought could replace me.”

Your heart raced, realizing the depth of the history between them. The room felt charged with a mixture of tension and heartache.

“Cassie, who is she?”

You hopped down, stepping back, a rush of emotions hitting you as you witnessed a scene too familiar. Many before had desired to take you to bed but had never chosen commitment, leaving you with a lingering sense of being used and discarded.

In that moment, you couldn't help but feel the weight of past disappointments. Praying to every god, you desperately hoped this wasn't another painful chapter repeating itself.

Cassian wouldn’t do that to you. He wouldn’t fuck you and toss you aside for a past flame, right?

You were utterly convinced that he couldn’t change that quickly.

So why did doubt and fear take root in you?

And why did his hand tense and curl in when you tried to touch it?

🏷️ taglist: @just-a-social-casualty-1 @wallacewillow0773638 @dominika20hella10black @pinksmellslikelove @hellsenthero @val-writesstuff @paasrin

[madockisser]

I just finished Elfhame series and came across your tumblr and your post about "Cardan just wanting love" and your analysis was enjoyable to read.

However, after finishing books 1, 2, and 3, I get the feeling that Cardan isn’t... faithful to Jude. Fae are very poly, and Cardan was/is definitely a thot, and Jude's insecurities over that never go away.

Do you believe Cardan is monogamous after The Wicked King?

Will cardan stay loyal to jude? / cardans views of faith / his love for jude

😭😭no hate to anon but i can’t ever picture cardan NOT being faithful to jude. Also anon did you read “how the king of elfhame learned to hate stories”

btw I’ve made posts like this before(regarding his faith) and they dive into other aspects of why i think he was faithful: this one!!!

he singled jude out from the very beginning during palace school, he fell for jude WHILE he was with nicasia, for so many reasons.

he at first found her infuriating and frustrating for her advantages that she had and he didn’t, despite being raised on the idea that humans were garbage.

then he fell for her determination and audacity, her cunning and strength. even as jude made him look weak, he wanted her and only her.

Meanwhile, cardan hates ass-kissers, which is nicasia, and the rest of the court. He hates that courtiers will allow him to slap and use them, all while going home to people that actually loved them. This is stated in his novella.

Cardan is brought up on the idea that he is a prince that has nothing, that he is worthless despite his title, and he hates it. And that’s how the people treat him, adored and petted on for short times (mostly for favor), but ultimately abandoned and unloved.

Yes, cardan has had lovers, as seen in tcp, in twk, but never after the beggining of the wicked king when he’s shot at. of course courtiers drape themselves on him, but he is aware that they do not love him and that he does not love them, he has only grown not to lash out at them, at which i imagine was based on the fact that he was no longer under balekins suffrance (his beatings) and because he now had jude (even if they weren’t really allies at this point, he still craves Jude’s favor and acts accordingly, as seen as when he gives Taryn his army bc he thinks she’s jude, as seen as him trying time and time again to gain her favor in twk)

Because he wants jude to trust him. Even in the first book, even BEFORE the first book, in his novella, cardan WANTS jude to admire him. he wants jude to see him as he wishes to be seen, princely and powerful, i will attach a pic below from his novella:

(Honestly this pic ALONE pretty much seals the deal for me that he wouldn’t so much as look at another, let alone cheat on jude)

now, onto monogamy and fae standards:

Cardan has shown a clear dislike for many fae standards and cultures.

He sees humans differently from others, he sees life as precious and as something to hold onto, (I’m talking about his morals and his unwillingness to kill even someone that another faerie would consider beneath him), he is unlike his brothers in the power-hungry sense, he likes taking the easy way out, and he craves true love above all.

Jude’s monologue once said that faeries view lovemaking as a sport, as a game. But cardan also said that he never saw love as a game. And he cannot lie.

Add on: bro LITERALLY called jude his GOD. and he cannot lie… so why would he ever have anyone else? exactly!

Another thing, his view of human culture. We know he read Alice in wonderland. We also know that to humans, exchanging rings is commonly our wedding/marital tradition. It it not a fae tradition, for a bride and groom to give each other rings.

Cardan went out of his way to learn about Jude’s culture when proposing to her, and he also stole her ring very early on in the wicked king, so i can imagine that he was planning to propose for a while. To make her his queen.

It is also human culture to remain loyal and monogamous.

Then, when she left during the exile. he was devastated, and begged her to come home in letters that his mother did not send.

In twk, cardan learns, slowly but surely, how to be good. How to be a good king, a good person. For Jude. He learns that he doesn’t have to resort to drinking himself sick to avoid all the misery he endures, but to overcome those miseries and become a good man. and he does it partly for jude and also of course-for himself.

Cardan never knew he could be good, he could be loved. But jude taught him that. (If that isn’t enough to think that he wouldn’t remain monogamous then damn)

Then of COURSE there’s the fact that jude is human. there aren’t many unglamoured humans in elfhame, and obviously Jude’s body is different from a faerie. i like to think that cardan has a specific attraction to Jude’s human body, rather than the same old faerie bodies he’s seen. (I get it king)

LASTLY, i just want to remind us all of how cardan reacted when he found nicasia (of whom he was in a royal relationship with, like him and Jude) with Locke. the photos from his novella are below:

He views nicasias little fling with Locke as excruciating, as a horrible painful betrayal, and he trusted her not to hurt him. (Similar to him and jude, how they trust each other by the end of it, not to hurt one another)

and also, i highlighted “pretend” because although it is faerie standard to be poly in many relationships, cardan STILL is pained by her actions and his dignity and heart are both in shreds. he will pretend to love her after, if the opportunity arises and nicasia doesn’t love him, if it turns out to be just a fling, but he would still be pained by being with her.

if that is how cardan feels about being with lovers, about jude being poly or him being poly, why would he go and inflict that on jude?? he wouldn’t. what him and jude have is much more real than what he and nicasia had because it wasn’t built on obligation (and also the idea that nicasia was going to eventually murder him and steal his throne)

Moral of the story, cardan would not be with other lovers for these reasons: he loves her and he loves to be loved by her, he has learned human cultures to make himself a better husband for her and he follows those traditions, he is heavily distrustful and he dislikes courtiers. also him and jude are MARRIED ROYALTY, at which they are bound by the throne and the land to be together or whatever

anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk! it shocks me that anyone would think that he would be with others, even if it is faerie culture, cardan is absolutely DEVOTED to that woman (i understand you king)

add on: also ofc jude is scared to get her heart hurt, she guards her heart the ENTIRE series until the end w cardan- and she’s sad when she sees him w nicasia when she asks cardan to get w her in twk. also he’s smoking hot and the king so yeah i would be thinking abt his sex life too lol. also- bro doesn’t even consider the thought that she thinks he may have been w another lover (in qon when they are about to bang) like he is so madly in love w her and she doesn’t even see it, they’re so cute! ALSO cardan has finally found love w jude so it doesn’t make sense for him to go and seek out another, especially since he’s distrusting and hates boot lickers lol

sorry for being so dead on here, I’m from the US so i was saving this last week for rotting my brain on TikTok for the last few days !! I’m working on more asks and ily 🫶 also feel free to add anything i probably missed!! This was messy and lmk if there are any typos!! ok bye

[ahundredtimesover]

Title: Please Love Me Drabble Bonus (10) - I want this so much.

WC: 12,663

Tags/Warnings: foul language; alcohol consumption; talks of pregnancy, explicit sexual content (kissing, dirty talk, fingering, breast play, overstimulation, oral (m & female receiving), straddling, unprotected penetrative sex), lots of fluff; Seven JK (18+)

Series Masterlist

A/N: Hi. I’m on a break from my indefinite break. Seven JK was a burst of inspiration (so were his WeLives bc dreamy househusband alert!) and PLM!JK definitely has reasons to f*ck his wife seven days a week. So please enjoy this fluff piece because it’s happening!💕

“Babe, is the curling iron still on?”

Your husband calls out from the walk-in closet behind you, and you yell out your yes as you place the item in question on the dresser, ruffling your hair up a bit and styling it as you wish. 

You're so immersed in trying to figure out what look you want to go for that you don’t immediately notice Jungkook standing next to you, iron in hand as he curls the edges of his smooth locks. When your eyes flit to him, you’re momentarily hypnotized, your movements stopping for a few seconds before you’re able to regain your bearings and decide on a loose bun to match the low-back satin dress you have on. 

“You okay there, babe?” Jungkook asks as he picks up on your silence, with you seemingly avoiding looking at him. 

You nod in response and he smirks, feeling like he knows what’s got you acting like this. He’s known for a while that he affects you in a certain way; your trip to Busan not long ago reinforced that, given the way your body reacted to everything he did at your command. But still, knowing that he makes you flustered even with clothes on gives him that boost of confidence and that air of cockiness that he knows you adore. 

“Are you sure?” He asks again, turning to look at you while you keep your eyes on the mirror.

You finally face him and release a deep sigh. “You look really good,” you admit, your cute little frown melting all the knots in his body. 

“Why do you make it sound like it’s a bad thing?” He chuckles, flashing you that boyish smile that he also knows drives you wild. 

“Because…” you start, your arms crossed now to establish some distance. “I’m gonna have to control myself around you and behave but that’s hard when you look… like that.”

“Who says you have to control yourself and behave? You’re my wife and you have my permission to keep your hands on me any time and you know, misbehave or something,” he cheekily responds, his smug face making you want to smack his chest and pull his hair out of lust and frustration. 

“We’ll be in public, Kook!”

“Tae booked a private club, though.”

You frown at his teasing but it only urges your husband to tease even more. 

“They also have private rooms so when you absolutely cannot help yourself, we can always get one and maybe I’ll let you put on a show for me. Or I can do that, it depends if you still have yourself together by then.”

“Kook! You’re not helping,” you pout, and much as he wants to keep going, he also just wants to wrap his arms around you and that’s what he does, pulling you close and softly smiling at you. 

“I’m kidding. Sort of,” he chuckles. “But we can also just skip the party and stay in, you know? I’ll keep my clothes on until you take them off me, or until you ask me to, just like last time,” he smirks now. “And we can just do whatever we want. You won’t have to worry about controlling yourself or anything.”

“Tempting, but we did promise Taehyung that we’d come tonight,” you say, wrapping your arm around his neck while you fix the strands of his hair, knowing the style he wants to go for. “Opening an art gallery is kind of a big deal. And I am a featured artist in his collection so we absolutely have to be there.”

“I know,” Jungkook says. “I won’t hear the end of it if we skip it. But at least I’ve got a reason to swap the business wear for something different. And you know, fluster my wife because of it, make her speechless and tell me I look good.”

“Ah, is that what you expected to happen,” you arch an eyebrow, feeling called out because that’s definitely what happened. 

He’s always been a little cocky but he’s amped it up recently and you’re not complaining; he has all the reasons to be. You know he knows that you love it when he is. 

“Well, I actually expected you to be on my lap right now, marking me all over and moaning out curses,” he chuckles, his laughter increasing in volume as your face distorts in feigned annoyance once more. “But I guess the outfit isn’t sexy enough.”

“Now you’re just pushing it,” you playfully smack his chest. “You don’t even wear tight clothes like this. You always said they made you feel stuffy.”

Pulling away to fully absorb Jungkook’s look, you smack yourself internally for even attempting to take him all in, only because of all the scenarios playing in your head right now. And he’s right, being on his lap and claiming him as you cuss out your pleasure is what you would be doing if you weren’t running late. But you are, and acting out all your desires would have to wait. 

“Well, since I married you, Mrs. Jeon, I’ve become quite the observant man,” he boasts. “I pick up on what turns you on and I use it to my advantage. You loved it when I had the sleeves of my white shirt rolled up and this is just the tight fit version of it.” 

Much as you want to kiss him right now, you can’t help but soften at his words. He is observant, especially when it comes to things you like about him. You remember how he’d started buying colored and patterned tops after your honeymoon years ago because you said you liked them on him. Recently, you notice that he’s been wearing jeans for his casual wear a lot more now, and how he’s kept his hair the specific length that you once said you loved on him. 

His best friends say that Jungkook was always just content on his monochromatic sweats and hoodies because they’re comfortable and don’t require much thinking when he decides to put them on, and so knowing that he keeps you in mind when he dresses up is quite sweet, especially knowing that he doesn’t really care what people say unless it’s you. And if you show that it’s something you like, Jungkook will definitely keep doing it to make you happy. 

“And the leather pants?” You ask.

“Jimin suggested it, said it fits more with a plain white shirt than jeans for a club. Do you like it?” He wonders, looking anxious, as if there’s anything he wears that you don’t like. Maybe except for this one university shirt that has holes on them that he still wears. 

“Of course I do, hun,” you say, wrapping your arms around his waist now. “You look like the sexiest, most beautiful man alive but I also don’t mind if you just wore whatever you wanted. You’ll look gorgeous either way.”

“Well, some people dress for themselves, and some people also don’t mind, like me. I’ll wear anything that’s comfortable, as long as it makes my wife happy.”

“But this outfit makes me horny though.”

Jungkook smirks before licking his lips, and right when you think he’s gonna kiss your mouth as he leans forward, he goes for your neck instead, sucking a bit of flesh before he trails upwards with soft pecks towards your ear.

“That’s better,” he whispers, sending shivers all over you that he definitely feels, earning you a teasing chuckle. 

He turns to face you and sees the desire in your eyes, and he knows you’d both break eventually but still, he states, “I don’t wanna mess your lipstick, baby.”

“I don’t care,” you moan, feeling the wetness pool between your thighs now, and your words prompt Jungkook to crash his mouth against yours to taste the lust that’s expressed all over your body. 

He tastes of mint cherry and yearning and smells of deep vanilla and ecstasy. His hands trail down to your ass that he ardently squeezes while yours travel towards his hair, the soft pulls eliciting moans from him, as your hips meet his thrusts the same way that your tongue battles against his, desperate and impassioned, your beings melding into one. 

Time feels frozen as it’s just you and him. Until your phone starts ringing, incessantly, and it registers to you that it might be Nari, who you’d promised to pick up on the way to the club. 

You pull away, telling your husband that you both have to go. 

“Well, at least your lipstick’s not completely messed up,” he hums.

“Yeah, but my underwear is,” you groan, and it���s your pout and scurry towards your closet that lets Jungkook know that you’re serious. Your little make out session did turn you on and if it wasn’t for a disruption, maybe you would be on his lap right now just as he expected - more like dreamed. 

“I take it back,” he states, walking towards the bathroom where you now are. “I think the outfit’s sexy enough, don’t you think?”

You enter the private club that Taehyung booked for the party and spot less familiar faces than the official opening of the art gallery earlier in the week. Given, tonight is specifically for the fashion and entertainment crowd, a strategic decision for him who wants to attract patrons other than the usual from the art and business fields. It’s a good way to make use of his family’s connections, and it’s also another means of exposing your work to a different audience. 

It’s why Taehyung’s been excited to introduce you to the guests, making sure you meet all of them, as he goes around the space to greet them. You don’t mind, really. He has a great eye and a unique way of expressing and selling his art, and as he matches it to his target market, you find yourself learning from him, too. He even got one of them to commission you for a piece, someone who doesn’t mind waiting in line, given that you’ve been pacing your work due to health reasons. 

Taehyung finally states that he now wants to get on with the actual party, so he heads to the bar to order some shots while you walk towards the table where your husband and all your friends are. You take the seat next to Jungkook who promptly looks at you with a cheeky smile on his face. 

“Babe, why are you sitting there?”

“Where else would I sit?” You ask, sipping from a glass of water. 

Jungkook spreads his arms and nods towards his lap, causing you to burst in laughter, although he doesn’t seem to find it all that funny. 

“I won’t sit on your lap, honey,” you giggle. “I can do that at home.”

“Our friends won’t mind,” he huffs. 

“I would,” you respond. 

“He just wants to make a statement,” Jimin chimes in. “We can’t count how many girls have walked up to him asking if the seat - I mean, his lap - is taken. Why he’s even manspreading, we don’t know.”

You laugh along with your friends as you turn to your husband, as if asking him why he’s doing exactly that.

“I always had the image of men in leather pants sitting like this,” Jungkook answers. “I guess it fits the vibe.”

“Well, if you keep doing that, more women are gonna try their luck. And I can’t really blame them,” you say, moving your seat closer to him because suddenly, the idea of people hitting on your husband makes you just a little bit uneasy. 

“And they’ll keep getting rejected. I don’t know why they think that line would work,” Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“Why did you think it would work on me?” 

“Let’s just say, you have a track record,” he smirks at you. “And don’t think I’ve forgotten how just kissing me affected you earlier. Oh baby, you have it bad for me,” he whispers now.

You’d be annoyed at him if he wasn’t right, but of course he is. It’s the boyish charm and effortless sexiness that get you all the time, and that’s on top of all the other things that make him an amazing husband and lover. 

His wiggling eyebrows let you know that he’s teasing, and your scrunched nose tells him you’re enjoying it. 

But even then, he pulls you close and softly kisses your cheek. “And I’ve got it bad for you, too, baby. I’ll do whatever you want tonight, just tell me.”

“What about a message and cuddles?” You release a deep breath. “Meeting the guests tired me a bit.”

“Then I’ll do that. We can have a bath together and sleep in, too. Does that sound good?”

You nod in response, smiling at the thought that despite your incessant teasing, you and Jungkook could edge each other with your flirting but also wouldn’t mind if one of you decides for something soft and wholesome instead. It’s not so much self-control as it is the way your relationship has come to work - sure, sex is always good; you’d push each other’s buttons for fun or even as foreplay, but pillow talk while your limbs are entangled under the sheets are just as amazing. You’ve learned that every intimate moment with him is special as it happens; you could only hope it’s an aspect of your marriage that won’t ever change. 

Your moment is disrupted when Taehyung arrives with a server and a tray of shots, with him insisting that each person has to take one. You give in even if you hadn’t planned on drinking at all, but when you say that’s all you’ll have for the rest of the night, none of your friends question you. They know you and Jungkook are actively trying to get pregnant, and consuming alcohol does affect that, so they let you be. Jungkook orders a glass of juice right after though, but you don’t question him, even if you’d expected that he’d go for another round or at least a bottle of beer. 

As the host that he is, Taehyung urges everyone to get on the dance floor, the alcohol now kicking in after the rest of your friends downed more shots. 

“We’re good here,” Jungkook says. “You tired my wife a little over there.”

“Nah, we all know you’re the only one who can do that,” Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows, his lack of filter causing you and your husband to just laugh.

“I’m okay, Kook,” you say, reaching out your hand for him to take. “I’d be silly not to dance with you looking like this. Plus, didn’t you want to make a statement that you’re taken or something?” You laugh. 

“I do, actually,” he smirks, leading you to the dance floor where your friends have gathered. “But I’d also be silly not to dance with you looking like this,” he continues, running his hand down your bare back until it sits right on your ass. He squeezes it a little before holding you by the waist, swaying them in tandem with your hips as you dance to the music. 

You’ve got your hands around his neck and your eyes locked on his, his smile turning more sultry as the seconds tick by. You feel him grind against you and you welcome the friction, as you find yourself lost in the sounds and the weight of his stare. 

“Nothing like a song about fucking everyday to get us in the mood, huh,” he whispers in your ear, his fingers gripping your dress to control himself.

“Good thing we’re married and can do that, then,” you whisper back. “But that would also be incredibly tiring.”

Jungkook laughs. Much as he knows it’s something that his amazing stamina would allow him to do, he also knows that’s too much for you. But he’d never complain. Anything with you is enough; being with you is enough. Falling asleep with you is all that he wants, even during that rare time when he was upset. He’s learned that when it comes to you, no distance is farther than when he’s not next to you; he’d take any pain on either of your ends, as long as he has you by his side. 

He’s overcome with emotion at the thought, so he doesn’t control himself when the urge to kiss you takes over him and you let him, capturing his lips for something gentle and languid. He feels you smile against him and he does the same, knowing that amidst the lust and intense yearning, the softness will remain. It’s why he pulls away first and envelopes you in a hug, finding purchase in your neck as he calms his raising heart and hardening cock that were caused by your impassioned movements. 

He hears you giggle as you hug him tight and his heart softens now, savoring that sound even more because he was without it for weeks at one point. He’s also learned that days without your laugh and your smile are the hardest; he knows he’ll be lost in this world without them. 

You pull away now and kiss his cheek this time, and you feel him smile again at the action. With all his cheekiness, Jungkook is everything that is love at his core. He gives and takes as he should, and it may seem odd that such thoughts are what’s swirling in your mind as you’re both dancing together at a club with people making out and grinding against each other around you, but you’ve come to learn that regardless of happening outside or inside of you, he’s the only one you want to share your little world with. 

He takes your hand and leads you back to your table where your friends gather shortly after. He orders coffee while you settle for tea, knowing you’d be too tired to make one before you sleep. It’s more laughter and dancing in your seats for another hour or so before you and Jungkook decide to head home as guests start to leave as well. 

You didn’t expect to be out until 2AM but you kept thinking that one day, you’ll be too old for this; one day, you’ll have kids to care for that you won’t have much time for nights out with your friends. You savor what you’re able to as a young married couple before children get in the picture, and as you watch Jungkook in the driver seat with his tattooed arm on the steering wheel, humming to the music while saying that he had a great time, you assume that he thinks the same way.

“Yeah, tonight was fun,” you muse. “We let go of ourselves a little bit and that was nice.”

“It was. You had your hands on me for most of the night so that was good,” he teases. 

“I had to make a statement myself. Don’t think I didn’t see those two women who kept eyeing you and constantly passing by our table,” you huff. 

“I didn’t even notice,” he hums. “I was too busy looking at you. But was that really it? You were just letting them know that I’m your man and they have no chance?”

“Of course not,” you giggle, taking his free hand and kissing it. “This look is really doing something to me. Maybe I’ll start asking you to wear this at home or something.”

Jungkook laughs at your words, his head briefly rolling back before he turns to you with his scrunched nose. “I wouldn’t mind that, actually.”

There’s a moment of silence, with you caressing his hand that’s found its place on your bare thigh, before you comment that he didn’t drink much tonight, knowing that their trio of best friends enjoy their alcohol when they’re out to party.

“I could’ve driven us back home, you know?” You say. “We haven’t gone out like this in a while so it would’ve been okay if you drank.”

“Yeah but… we’re trying to get pregnant and the doctor said that alcohol consumption affects sperm health, too,” he responds, his eyes looking soft as he glances at you. “I don’t want you to be the only one cutting back on things because we’re doing this together. I mean, that cup of coffee back there was only my second one of the day. I’ve been trying to limit myself to just two a day as well since I know you’re drinking less, and I survived the week.”

“Honey…” you say, your heart melting at the thought of him making sure that you’re not doing this all on your own. 

This is just the trying phase, and if he’s committed to the pregnancy this early on, you can just imagine how present and supportive he’ll be when you do get pregnant. He’ll make sure you’re not the only one making sacrifices, and he’ll make sure to give you as much comfort and support as possible. 

“And also, I’m gonna have to change my lifestyle eventually for, you know, when we have our child,” he continues. “I can’t be going out, drinking, and then driving because who knows what could happen? Plus, I don’t wanna kiss our baby with alcohol breath when I get home. And I—”

“Kook, you can still do the things you used to do even when we have a child,” you interrupt. “I mean, you can still party and drink and—”

“I can’t be reckless, though, and that’s what I was for a long time,” he counters. “I was also pretty selfish and always wanted things my way. Being with you changed that and yeah, parenthood will change me, but I should at least be good enough to begin with.”

“And you are, honey; more than enough, actually. I mean, we’ve been to the doctor twice and you already took what she said to heart,” you assure him. “I just know you’re gonna be great, okay? And this is my unfiltered mind speaking but I’m kinda excited to get pregnant because of how sweet and loving and… hot you’re gonna be when you take care of me.”

It’s that laugh again, his playful and endearing laughter that triggers the butterflies in your stomach. Jungkook’s eyes sparkle under the dim streetlights that you pass by, and the way he looks at you makes you feel like everything good is at your reach while it’s just the two of you in your own world. 

“I’m excited for you to get pregnant because of how loving and needy and strong and fucking sexy you’re gonna be,” he says, earning him a chuckle. “But all that aside, I just want you to know that you have me. I’m obviously here for the actual baby-making but also for the massages and cravings and morning sickness and swollen everything, okay? I promise.”

“You are such a dream, Jeon Jungkook,” you giggle as you gaze at him lovingly. “I’d live through a thousand lifetimes just so I can have this one where I married you.”

He’s left speechless now, as he softly smiles and leans over at the stoplight for a gentle kiss on your lips. You think it’s enough for him to say all the things he can’t, and you kiss him back, a little more deeply, to say the things you still don’t have words for.

The rest of the ride back home is quiet, save for Jungkook’s humming along to the songs on his playlist. You’re both giggling over something silly that happened earlier by the time you’re walking back to the apartment, and taking advantage of the late hours and the empty elevators, your husband softly kisses your neck with his arms wrapped around your waist all the way to your floor. You sigh in relief; his lips are as good as his hands when it comes to relieving your tiredness. 

There were some issues you encountered in your project at the firm that you had to manage, on top of helping Taehyung with his art gallery launch. Teaching the kids is not really stressful, but handling classes of 10 children each has its own challenges. You know your body and you’re perfectly fine, which is why you didn’t mind staying up late with your friends tonight. You’d missed out on a few nights out because you opted to rest, but tonight was too important to pass up on. But still, it left you just a tiny bit exhausted and you can’t wait for your warm bath and cuddles with Jungkook. 

You pause on the idea once your phone beeps and a notification pops up. Suddenly your heart is racing, and you’re left standing in the middle of your living room as Jungkook turns off the lights and says that he’ll massage you as you both take your bath. 

Seeing you unmoving when he expected you to be walking up the stairs, he asks if everything’s okay.

“Yeah, it’s just…” you say, turning to him with a small smile on your face. “I just got notified. My, uh, my tracker says I ovulate in a few days so, uh… My fertile window starts now.”

It takes a few seconds for Jungkook to process the information and once it clicks, he walks towards you and mirrors your smile. 

Dr. Han explained in detail how things go, and Jungkook remembers that in non-technical words, having sex during your fertile window is the best way to get pregnant, and since everything is an estimate and no means of tracking can be entirely accurate, what he he really took from that session is that having sex everyday increases your chance of conceiving. The thought turns his soft smile into a smirk, and with his eyes boring into yours, he repeats your words.

“Your window starts now,” he says, earning him a nod. “I’m fertile, too,” he adds. 

You chuckle at his statement. “I know, Kook. Of course you are,” you playfully roll your eyes. 

But his gaze doesn’t falter, as he cups your cheek and takes you in.

“Do you think the bath and massage can wait?” He asks, his voice suddenly low.

“They can,” you respond, feeling your throat drying up.

“You’re not too tired?”

“Not anymore,” you answer, melting into his touch, especially as his breath starts to quicken.

“Good,” he breathes out, his mouth so close to yours. 

Your noses touch before you feel his lips, soft yet wanting at the thought of being able to make love to you tonight, knowing there’s a chance that it could result in a baby that you’ve both been wanting. You grant him the entrance that he seeks, and he’s quick to explore as your tongue melds with his. He’s intentional, with both his hands cradling your face, wanting to say so much with this kiss. You return it just as eagerly, and your hands do what they’ve been wanting to since earlier in the night - they slide down his clothed chest, and then his torso, until they reach his crotch where you palm his hardening dick, letting him know that you want this just as much. 

He moves to place open-mouth kisses down your neck, and you moan when he sucks that sensitive part of yours at the same time that you squeeze his length, earning you a groan that sends shivers down your spine.

“Can I claim my seat now,” you tease, wanting nothing more than to ride him until you lose your breath, knowing just how much pleasure that position gives you both. 

“Fuck yes, babe,” he growls, kissing you again as he starts walking back, letting you guide him towards the couch that’s experienced its fair share of your lovemaking.    

He pulls away to settle on his seat, his eyes not moving away from you as he asks you to undress yourself, leaving you in nothing but your silk thong.

With his legs spread slightly wide, the leather material hugging his thick, meaty thighs, and his arms laid over the back of the couch, you can’t help but moan at the sight. Your seat looks pretty comfortable, even more so when he unzips his trousers to reveal his hardened length, big and veiny for you to slide against and down on. 

He’s coaxing you, as he touches himself to get you to come closer, knowing just how much this turns you on. You surprise him, though, when you get on your knees instead and take his cock from his hand, as if showing him that you can do it better. And of course you do; your touch electrifies him, it makes him weak and pliant, it makes him give in to whatever you want. He’s a generally impatient guy, but when it comes to you, he forces himself to have self-control, to wait, to let you take your time, only because he knows how satisfying it is once you give him what he craves. 

A few gentle and teasing strokes later, you take him in your mouth and you surprise him again, as you dive in and take him deep right away, unlike your usual gradual descent that’s every bit torturous and euphoric. He’s caught off guard but it’s what causes him to obscenely moan, prompting you to do the same, the vibrations sending him close to the edge. But you keep going, bopping your head up and down as you try to fit him in your mouth, and Jungkook has to gather all his strength to not falter this quickly. There’s so many other ways he wants to feel you.

Knowing he’ll come soon if you don’t stop, he cups your cheek to get your attention. The loving way you look at him is a contrast to how ruined he feels, and just as he thinks you’d chase his finger with your mouth and suck it as well, you kiss his hand instead, tracing your lips up to his tattooed arm and it’s moments like this that make him feel alive. He’s always loved chasing a high, living for the thrill and the unexpected that pushes him to try different things, and he’s somehow found that when making love to you. You could look at him shyly, reverently, or sultrily; you can lick your lips or say vulgar things or giggle sweetly - he won’t know what he’ll get, but he’ll lose his mind either way. 

Wanting to satiate his need, he finally pulls you to sit on his lap, capturing your mouth in his that leaves no room for either of you to breathe. Flushed against his clothed chest, you wrap your arms around his neck to try to take in as much of him as you can. You grind against his throbbing cock, and the friction isn’t enough, as you raise yourself to slide down on him, and your joint moans fill the room.

It starts slow but you eventually pick up the pace, and it prompts him to remove his trousers that are now definitely limiting his movements. Once he’s free, he focuses on what he can give. Jungkook pulls you down as he pushes inside of you, the quick and erratic thrusts sending you in a whole other dimension. You’re meeting his movements, your pants turning into squeals as you feel him so deep inside you, hitting the edges of your physical being. 

You lose it when he grips your ass to keep you in place and then captures your breast in his mouth for him to suck. You feel the pleasure all over your body; it’s overwhelming and all-consuming - you feel him everywhere, and it’s exactly how you want to be made love to. 

It’s the succeeding thrusts and the bite of the sensitive part of your neck that has you mewling and arching your back in intense pleasure and you feel like you’ve lost sense for a moment, as if you’re suspended with how deep and rough he’d gone. It’s almost numbing, as you continue to grind against him as you try to catch your breath but despite the overstimulation, you can’t get enough of it, of him. You came hard but you want more. 

You kiss him as you come down from your high and he takes you in, moaning as your mouths meet again. It’s different this time, though - the kiss is desperate, it feels like; there’s the usual passion but a different kind of yearning, of eagerness. Devotion, too, it seems - towards you, towards the future child you’ll have, towards the family you’ll build - as he caresses your back, his hands gliding on your skin before clutching onto you, as if he’ll lose you if he doesn’t.

“I love you,” he mumbles against your neck, repeating it like a chant that devotees do to a being they revere. “I love you, fuck baby. I love all of you.”

“I love you, Kook, so much,” you pant, hugging him loosely, as it’s the only thing you have energy to do at this moment. 

His arms are wrapped around your waist and he leans to kiss you there, his mouth seemingly unable to separate from any part of you. 

You meet his eyes and you just know that you mirror the way he’s fondly looking at you. Jungkook boops your nose before he gently lays you on the couch, his eyes unmoving from your form as he kneels before you to remove his shirt, his perfectly-crafted torso making you salivate even more. 

Spreading your legs, he dives in your cunt, licking your lips before he sucks your clit. You still haven’t recovered from earlier but you don’t mind. You’re still somewhat in a daze, and everything Jungkook does is both mind blowing and calming, intense yet numbing. Your leg starts to shake so he stops but you don’t complain. Just like him it seems, you want this drawn out. 

“I want you inside me, baby,” you moan. “I want… I want to feel you all over me again. Please,” you beg. “I need you.”

The way you plead does things to him, so he lays by your side, slides inside you from behind, and takes you into his hold. With your body shifted and your legs raised, he cups your breast and sucks on your neck, as if cradling you while making you feel all of him - his mouth, his dick, his fingers… He’s thrusting against you so hard that you’re screaming in pleasure, asking him not to stop, and moaning out his name. You lose control of your limbs and you feel like your body now has a mind of its own but his kiss grounds you, and you hold onto him tightly for anchor as he does the same with you. 

You come again - another hard crash - and he follows soon after, abrupt and drawn out that he feels like he’s suspended as well. He stays inside you, wanting to make sure that nothing of him is wasted. 

You’re both panting from tiredness, your damp foreheads against each other, and it’s nothing but your warm breaths and slick bodies that you feel. You can’t really feel anything else, and that warm bath sounds good right about now.

Jungkook seems to read your mind, as he pulls away first and grabs your clothes. He reaches out his hand that you take, and he holds you close to him as you both walk up the stairs and into your bathroom. 

You both don’t say much; the smiles and the soft kisses on the cheek seem to say enough. Maybe you’re just both really spent, but Jungkook exerting all that effort on you does not stop him from drawing your bath, sitting opposite you, and then massaging your feet and calves. He asks you to sit in between his legs right after so he can massage your shoulders, too, and the sigh you let out tells him you’re satisfied with his as well. 

“That good, baby?” He still asks, and you lazily smile at him and nod.

“You might fall asleep here,” he chuckles, pulling you closer to him so he can nuzzle your neck. 

“I wouldn’t mind that, as long as you sleep here with me,” you hum.

“Our tub is big but it isn’t that big,” he laughs again. “Come on, I’ll wash us up.”

You follow him and head to the shower where he promptly rinses the suds off your hair and your body. He’s gentle and thorough; charming, too, as his boyish smiles appear again when he sees you look satisfied. He helps you dress up before you both head to your room, your soft linens feeling like clouds after all that you did. 

Jungkook goes under the covers and lays his head on your chest like he often does. Tired as you are, you don’t want to sleep yet, needing to have this moment with him first. 

He’s rarely quiet, so when he is, you know something’s on his mind. You comb your fingers through his hair to calm him down; massaging him like this is also your way of letting him know that can say whatever he wants, and express whatever he wants.

“Do you think we did it?” He finally asks, sounding soft and unsure. “Do you think that was it?”

With his hand caressing your belly, you feel his anxiousness and his desire.

“I don’t know, honey,” you reply. “These things are never accurate. I’m just glad my cycle’s finally regular so at least I can better estimate when I’m due to ovulate and we can work from there. Maybe we did it. Maybe we didn’t. We won't know until I show symptoms and I take a test. And that’s weeks from now.”

The silence isn’t uncomfortable despite what seems to be a million things running through his mind. You’ve wanted this for so long but you’ve learned to be patient, to be trusting, to be accepting of whatever happens. You’d like to think that for all that you went through and for all the good that you’ve done in this life, the universe will grant you this wish. But you don’t want to think too much of how much you want it. You’re scared to be disappointed; more importantly, you’re scared to disappoint him.

“I want this so much,” he says, his voice low and desperate. “I… I knew I did but I didn’t know just how much until the other month when… when we had a false alarm.”

You recall that day. It was some time after you’d come back from Busan, the conversations from that trip perhaps clouding your mind, the excitement overtaking you that you’d thought you could be pregnant despite the minimal signs. 

But you took the test anyway. It was negative, and Jungkook hugged you and said it was okay. You’d only gone to the doctor once that time, and you were both still adjusting and making changes in your respective lifestyles. He didn’t seem upset; he comforted you, cradled you that night, and made love to you softly as he whispered how perfect you are, and how much he loves you. 

“I… I didn’t want to show it but it made me sad that it didn’t happen then,” he continues. “And I guess it hit me exactly how much I wanted it. To be able to create someone who’s half of the person I love the most and half of me… that’s amazing, right? I just suddenly couldn’t wait to give all my love to that child; I couldn’t wait for us to be gifted that.”

You’re unable to form words as you listen to him. It takes you back to the time when he didn’t want to have children yet, content with just the both of you and your little adventures and time alone. Jungkook wanted you all to himself, and he wanted him to be the only one you focused on. He’d hated himself for being selfish, but you suppose you both needed to have that time for each other - to learn, to love, to fight, to forgive, to trust, and then to love even harder, even braver, even kinder. 

“It’ll happen, Kook,” is all you can say. “One day, it will. I’d like to believe that it’s meant for us, just as you and I were meant for each other after all these years.”

“I don’t want to think that I wasted so much of our time just because I wanted it to be just us,” he admits. “But sometimes, that fills my mind. What if we had tried earlier?”

“Do you think that helps? Thinking of the what if’s?”

“I know it doesn’t,” he responds. “But I guess the fear pushes me somehow, you know? I could be living a different life where I don’t have all this, and so I want to make sure that I take care of all that I have now - you, this marriage, this home. It’s ironic that I’ve always wanted to live my life without fear, only to realize now that fears could be good, too, that having something you’re afraid of means you’re actually living, because then, something’s good enough to lose.”

“And that something is so good that you can’t not have it,” you add. 

He looks up at you with an assuring smile, knowing that you feel what he’s feeling, that you understand what’s bothering him. 

“I worry, too,” you continue. “I knew when I’d fallen in love with you that I wanted a family, to have a child that bears both of us, you know? Someone who can receive the overflowing love I have for you. And not having that scares me.”

With your words, Jungkook shifts himself to face you, cradling you in his arms and kissing your forehead.

“You see what you did right there?” You ask him.

“What?”

“I tell you I’m scared, and the first thing you do is hold me,” you say, feeling the emotions overtake you. “We’re each other’s fears. I’m afraid to lose you. I worry when you’re in pain or stressed or confused or unwell. And I know it’s the same with you. But we’re each other’s shields, too. We protect each other, we gain strength from each other. That’s how we’ll get through this. That’s how we’ll get through anything. I’ll hold you when you’re scared and you’ll take me in your arms just the same. The fears are bearable that way.”

“They are,” he whispers, kissing you deeply. “We’re all we need, baby. You’re all I need.”

With your entangled limbs under the covers, you and Jungkook breathe each other in. 

“I don’t know if we were successful tonight,” you hum, slowly succumbing to sleep. “We can always try again tomorrow.”

“And the day after. And the day after that. And then after that,” he responds, his cheeky smile making a sleepy appearance. “We can try everyday. We’ll make it happen; we’ll hold each other again if it doesn’t.”

“We will,” you answer. “We always will.”

Jungkook kisses your nose then your forehead, but it’s his pecks on your cheek that fully wake you up from an incredible slumber. It felt long and it was exactly what you needed after a night of partying and fucking your gorgeous husband, who happens to be smiling sweetly at you right now with his doe-eyes and semi-mussed hair.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” he giggles. “I was wondering when you were gonna wake up.”

“What time is it?” You grumble, stretching your limbs and feeling the tension slightly dissipate. 

“Almost 1.”

“Seriously?” You gasp. “I’ve never woken up this late.”

“I know. I was kinda getting worried,” he chuckles. “But then again, we did sleep around 4:30 AM so it’s fine.”

“What did you do to me, honey,” you laugh now.

“Well, you know, the usual,” he teases. “And I’m not done with you yet. I promised you days of this.”

He sneaks his hand in between your thighs and presses lightly against your cunt, earning him a low moan. 

“Hmm, you did,” you hum. “But I’d really love a hug right now.”

With your outstretched arms, Jungkook melts into your hold, burying his face into your neck like he loves to do. You smell of peony and vanilla; you feel soft and comfortable and every beautiful thing in the world. He’d live right here if he could. 

But it’s the middle of the day and you’ve already missed your morning medication.

“I love this but babe, you need to eat so you can take your medicine,” he says, pulling away now. “I bought us some lunch so can you please wash up already?”

“Fine, Mr.,” you playfully roll your eyes. “I’ll be down in a bit. I’ll see you there.”

You walk into the kitchen with Jungkook humming to a song and shaking his hips while he transfers the stew from the pot into a big bowl. He places that on the dining table before taking the heated rice from the microwave. Dressed in sweatpants and a tank top under a loose zip-up hoodie that lets his shoulder tattoos peek out - a weakness of yours, you’ve learned - he looks like the perfect husband who’s sexy in every way. 

You’ve noticed these past weeks how he’s been more keen on getting chores done. You’ve always divided the tasks but recently, he’s taking more initiative - planning meals, listing grocery items, and scheduling laundry day. Those are things you think about on a daily basis because managing a household is tough work; you can’t help but think that he’s started taking some of the load from you, perhaps in preparation for when you get pregnant, and especially when a little one joins your family. 

The thought makes you smile. It’s why when he tells you that the food’s ready and pulls out your chair, you sit on his lap instead, wrapping your arms around his neck and tucking your face in there as well. 

“Thank you, Kook,” you huff. “It smells good.”

“It does. Too bad I didn’t cook it,” he chuckles, returning your hug.

“I know. You don’t have the patience for that.”

He tickles you in response but you just hug him more tightly.

“Hey, I know I turn you on when I’m being a dreamy househusband, but the food will get cold,” he says, turning to face you now, a rare sight indeed since he’s often the hard-headed and pouty one. “Let us eat this first, and then I can eat you out after. Deal?”

You bite his cheek in feigned annoyance before you move to your chair, taking in the dish in front of you. 

“What time did you buy this?” You ask, realizing only after the first spoonful just how hungry you are, reminding you of a certain physical activity you both did just hours ago.

“Hmm, around 10,” he answers. “I was up at 8 and was gonna drink milk only to find out that we don’t have any. So I went to the supermarket and got eggs and a few other things, too. Then I passed by the restaurant on the way home.”

“Dreamy househusband indeed,” you wink at him. “But how were you up that early after last night?”

“Taehyung, that annoying child,” Jungkook groans. “He kept calling and texting so I just picked up. He woke up early and couldn’t find his engagement ring for Ailee, and he doesn’t know if he lost it or if he proposed to her but he doesn’t remember anything because he was so drunk. And she was called for an emergency at work so he couldn't find out. He also doesn’t wanna ask her himself so I said I’d ask her if my best friend did anything stupid and well, yeah, he did propose; she just doesn’t know that he doesn’t remember.”

You’re cracking up by the end of your husband’s narration and you feel for the man. “Oh, poor Taehyung. What a terrible way to go about asking someone to marry them.”

“Well, I never actually asked you, did I?” Jungkook says. 

“Well, you kinda didn’t want to, did you?” you shoot back, earning you an adorable frown. 

Appeasing him, you take his hand and kiss it. “It doesn’t matter. We said I do, you kissed me for a millisecond, and then here we are!”

“Baby!” He groans again. “Why are you bringing up the wedding kiss, AKA the most embarrassing kiss of my life?”

“Because so-called loverboy Jungkook kissed his bride for a millisecond, that’s why,” you laugh. 

“I did make up for it, though,” he reminds you. “And I still do. I mean, you can’t seem to get enough of my kisses now.”

“You’re getting cockier and cockier by the year, honey,” you tease. “Even if, yes, you are absolutely correct. I can’t imagine living without your kisses.”

“Good. Because these lips can’t imagine not kissing you,” he smirks, and all you can do is cover your face in laughter and slight embarrassment, but he scrunches his nose as he watches you lose it, and your heart softens again. 

He could be cheeky as much as he wants; deep down, he’ll always be that gentleman who loves making you laugh and smile. 

You both finish your meal then you take your medicine. You insist on doing the dishes this time and it doesn’t take long. You’re full from eating so you return to your seat next to Jungkook where you both video call with Taehyung and the rest of your friends as he presents his predicament.

“Just be honest with her,” you advise. “Honesty and communication are incredibly important in a marriage, Tae. Take it from me. Who knows? Maybe she doesn’t remember how it happened, either.”

“And then you can just propose to her again,” Jungkook suggests. “Seriously, dude. Being honest is probably one of the hardest things to do, but it’s freeing more than anything when you share things with your partner. It just sucks that you have to share your stupidity but yeah, she’s crazy about you so I’m sure she’ll still want to marry you.”

Taehyung rants again but decides that listening to the only married couple in your friend group is his best course of action, so he says he will and will keep everyone posted. 

Wanting to have your only caffeine intake for the day, you walk towards the counter to boil water for your tea and then walk back to Jungkook. You lean on the edge of the table as you watch him remain seated and mirror your smile. You think about what he said earlier about being honest. You’re also reminded of your conversation last night and how open and vulnerable he was. You recall the moments where he’s trusted you and followed your lead. You think back at the instances where you were the same. You’ve both come such a long way, and the thought sparks a certain kind of desire in you, something that he sees.

He reaches out his hand and you take it. He guides you to his lap where you comfortably sit, aligning your clothed cunt to his cock, anticipating the friction and what would come out of it. You kiss each other deeply, both your hands mapping each other out. He pulls down your nightgown; you unzip his jacket and sneak your hands underneath his top. He’s smooth and taut and absolutely perfect; his hardened nipples tell you that he’s just as turned on as you are. 

Rocking against his hips, he decides that he absolutely needs to taste you, so Jungkook nudges you and guides you to the table where you lay, your legs spread out to show him the view that he craves. 

His tongue is warm against your folds. He presses it against your clit before twirling it around, knowing exactly how you want this to go. You like it slow at first, with kisses on the sides and underneath your thighs where you’re sensitive, before wanting it fast, rough, and desperate, as Jungkook sucks and nibbles and locks your thighs in his arms, pulling you closer to the edge so he can bury his face in between them where he also would like to live if he could. 

It’s like he’s been starved as he leaves no inch untouched. Your legs are shaking now, your body begging for release and he feels it; he feels the tension in your limbs and hears your hypnotizing moans. These make him want you to wrap around him so he can feel your warmth, too, so he can be sucked into your velvet walls and drown in your essence. 

He pulls away then undresses himself and then you, leaving you both heaving and bare, desperate for more of your scent and your kisses and your touch and your sounds. He strokes himself a little before pulling you closer again, this time for his cock to slide inside your wet entrance, and the moan that escapes him is obscene yet full of want and yearning. 

With your legs suspended in air, he thrusts into you - slow at first, teasing even, as he draws it out before going rough and deep, sending shockwaves all over his body with how well you’re taking him, and how hard you’re letting him go as you ask for more and more and more.

His hands explore your bare torso - hands fondling your swell breasts, fingers pinching your pert nipples, and palms gripping your waist to keep you steady. You kiss each other for most of it all, adding to your pleasure but also tempering it, as your mouths capture your moans and the curses you both let out. 

“So good, baby,” you groan, your deep, sultry voice still surprising him after all this time. “You fit me so, so well.”

“I’m made for you, baby,” he growls, assaulting your neck with nibbles that have you ascending even more. “Fuck, you’re so perfect for me.”

Your cries of yes urge him further and he quickens his pace, knowing from your sounds that you’re close and his erratic thrusting says that so is he. With your chest heaving and your arms weakening from supporting your weight, you crash hard, and your elbows buckle from the intensity but he catches you, his arms cradling you before he lays your back on the table while he tries to reach his peak. 

You recover, propping one arm on the surface and the other, pulling him close to you. 

“Come for me, baby,” you whisper, licking the shell of his ear right after. “Want you to fill me up so good. Please.”

You meet his thrusts and then clench around him. It’s what does it for him, as he releases a long groan that almost makes you come another time. Your pants match his and he hugs you tightly before kissing your neck. 

He’s sweating and unsurprisingly so, but it makes him look even hotter, with the softness in his eyes turning into determination in seconds. He bites your lip before licking your mouth. 

“I’m not done with you yet,” he smirks. “Gotta cover all bases and take you from every angle, baby.” Pulling away, he releases you from his hold. “Will you turn around for me? We’ve got the rest of the day for this.”

You’re left speechless at his words but you’re eager and pliant as you’re under his spell. You turn around as he asks and the feel of his tongue on your cunt overstimulates yet electrifies you. There’s no other way you want to spend your Saturday. You know your Sunday and every day after that will be the same. But Jungkook is an amazing lover, and you know that after all the roughness, he’ll hold you gently, pepper you with soft kisses, and tell you how much he loves you so you won’t ever forget. 

It’s weeks later when you pick up the phone and make a call.

“Hey, babe,” Jungkook’s sweet voice greets you on the other end of the line. “I’m heading to McDonald’s. The meal served on the plane was so little and I’m still hungry. Do you want anything?”

“Just, uh, just fries,” you mumble, as you pace back and forth in your living room. 

“That’s all?” He asks, knowing that you always want that with a sundae. “Do you want me to get something from somewhere else?”

“No, I’ve had dinner, Kook,” you say. “But uh, do you think you can pass by the pharmacy? I… I need a pregnancy test.”

You can hear a pin drop with the silence from both your ends. But it could also probably just be your mind going blank as you vocalize the words, a request that holds with it so much as you try to think of what will happen after the result comes out. 

“Baby…” Jungkook manages to mumble.

“I didn’t realize that my period’s been late a few days,” you explain. “But the cramps have been bearable and I didn’t think much of the nausea but, maybe… I mean, there’s a chance that—”

You only ramble when you’re nervous and Jungkook can feel your anxiety even through the phone. 

“Baby,” he interrupts you. “It’s okay. Are you feeling any pain right now?”

“No… I just… Come home soon, please. I… I need to be with you.”

“I’ll be home soon. I love you.”

He drops the call and makes his order through the window, then he asks Mr. Yu to head to the nearby pharmacy where Jungkook runs to the counter for the pregnancy test and then asks his chauffeur to quickly but safely drive to you. He wants nothing more than to be with you right now and calm your nerves, and while his mind is going haywire at the thought of a possible pregnancy, he knows he needs to be the strong one; he needs to be the one to keep you both grounded, even if another false alarm will crush both your hearts.

The time is ticking by too slowly and he opts to send you messages instead, updating you of where he is and how much longer it’ll take for him to get to you, hoping that this could at least help while you wait for him to arrive. 

Back in your loft, you continue pacing around the living room. You’d been too busy with work to take note of your tracker, which is why you hadn’t realized until today that your period is late. Jungkook’s been in Japan since Thursday and took a late afternoon flight this Monday so he can get home to you right away. You know he’s worried; even with his calm voice, you know deep down he’s just as anxious as you are. You appreciate that he’s holding the fort for both of you; he probably could tell from your rambling that you’re a little out of sorts, and for good reason. 

Since deciding on actively trying to get pregnant, there’s been an air of tension about the topic even if it’s something you both openly talk about. Perhaps it’s wanting it so much that the chance of not achieving it is a heartbreaking thought. 

You remind yourself, however, that you had a go at it not long ago; you’ve been following Dr. Han’s recommendations of cutting back on things as well so the hopeful part of you thinks that there’s a big chance it could happen. Every part of you wishes it’s happy tears tonight and not sad ones. 

Your door unlocks and you stand from the couch, meeting Jungkook, who places the food on the nearby flat surface, and hugging him tightly.

“I missed you,” he hums against your hair. “You don’t have to be scared, okay? I’m with you. We’re doing this together, and whatever happens, we’ll hold each other. We promised, remember?”

“I remember,” you mumble. Facing him, you say you’ll take the test in the guest bathroom. “We’ll wait and check together, honey. I love you, whatever happens.”

“I love you, whatever happens.”  

You exit the bathroom and find him seated on the bed, his coat removed and his tie loosened. His hair is a little mussed, perhaps from constantly combing through it as a way to ease his nerves. You sit on his lap - your safe place - and hug him again, letting your joint breaths remind you that you share the anticipation and the fear and the excitement with him.

Your alarm beeps to signal that the waiting time is over, and he pulls you close for a deep kiss before you stand up, and you drown in his taste and his scent, knowing that you’ll need all forms of his comfort tonight. 

Walking together, you stand by the counter and stare at the stick that’s been turned over. He’s hugging you from behind and you pull his arms tighter around you. With a deep breath, you turn the test over again to face you, and the way that he buries his face in your neck while he whispers I love you in your ears is what makes your tears fall.

Two lines signifying your hopes and dreams of a family that you’ll love with all your imperfect heart. 

“We’re having a little one, babe,” he huffs. “We… We’re gonna be parents.”

You finally face him, your tears uncontrollable now, and all you can do is nod. 

“Yes,” you whisper. “We… we’re—”

His chest buries your cries, as you’re unable to form words at the gift that you’ve been given. His strong arms cradle you against him and it’s all you really need - just his love, for you, for the child you’ll have, for the family you’ll build. 

Jungkook kisses your forehead before kneeling down to face your belly that’s started to nurture your baby. 

“I can’t wait to meet you, little one,” he whispers. “You’re gonna be so, so loved. Mommy and Daddy will make sure of that.”

There’s so much emotion, as you watch Jungkook sweetly smile at what’s now housing the most important being in this world right now. His glassy doe-eyes, small sniffles, and the way he caresses you give you a glimpse of how he’ll probably be starting now. He already looks at you with so much love and you can just imagine how much more affectionate he’d be with that little human growing inside you. He’ll be giving and showing love to two now; there’s something incredibly special about that. 

The low grumble of your stomach breaks the moment, however, but your joint laughter is welcomed, as he nuzzles your torso and kisses it in places before standing up to face you again.

“I know you said you just wanted fries but I got you that chicken and mozzarella sandwich you like and strawberry McFlurry, too,” he says, wiping away your tears. “I thought that if it was negative, you’d want to eat your sadness away, and if it was positive, you’d be so happy you’d want to eat more. It could also be that you’re just really hungry.”

“That’s a fair assessment,” you giggle. “But I had early dinner and I think the anxiety got to me. Thank you, honey. You already know what I need before I even say it.”

“I'm a certified dream husband and a dad-in-training,” he winks, making your heart soar. “But also… is it okay to feed our child… grease?”

You pinch his cheeks adoringly. “Just this once, I guess. And then it’s all healthy stuff for me starting tomorrow.”

“You mean for us,” he corrects. 

“For us,” you nod.

You both eat your unhealthy comfort food, with baby talk dominating throughout dinner, such as what you’ll name them, how you’ll tell your family and friends, and how the home setup is gonna be like. You both decide on waiting until this weekend for the announcement, wanting to go to the doctor first and just savoring this moment between the both of you. You’ll eventually transform Jungkook’s office space in your room to a nursery and contact Hoseok to look for houses that you’ll move into after you give birth. 

Jungkook asks you to have a shower with him, admitting that he feels quite clingy given the news. You don’t mind at all, especially when he hugs you from behind under the warm water and caresses your stomach again while he languidly kisses your lips.

He makes love to you once you’re in bed. 

It’s different from what you’d both done during your “baby-making week,” as he liked to call it, when he took you on different surfaces and on different angles all over your apartment. You’d even done it in the car in your building’s basement parking because he wanted to “cover all bases,” although you know he just wanted an excuse because that reckless part of him just liked the thrill of fucking you in a not-so-private space. You loved every bit of that week though, and even the days that followed, where despite his late nights, early mornings, and business trips, he made sure to express his love in different ways. 

But tonight, he takes it slow and simple, as he gently yet purposefully pushes into you while he looks into your eyes with so much adoration. He intertwines his fingers with yours, filling all your spaces, and cups your cheek while he whispers words of love and praise. 

It’s a gradual buildup and perhaps it’s why your orgasm is drawn out as well. It’s a different kind of pleasure, as you feel suspended in air while being pulled down before the acceleration comes when he sucks your breast, as if you’re orgasming again while coming down from it. But it’s Jungkook - some days he’s rough and teasing; sometimes he’s gentle and serious. 

Everyday it’s love though. Whatever form or pace it is, it’s the only love you want to know.

It’s tough keeping news as big as your pregnancy from your family and friends, but you and Jungkook wanted to consult with the doctor first so you can answer their questions because you know that there’ll be many of them, including when you’re due. It’s why you canceled dinner with the girls that Wednesday and why you passed up on lunch with your siblings that Friday. 

You made it to Saturday, where you and Jungkook offered to host your monthly hangouts with all your friends in your apartment and then casually said over dinner that you’re pregnant. It was silent for a good minute before they burst into screams. 

Nari and Jimin cried, which you didn’t expect. Taehyung burst into an opera-like song to express his emotions, Yeji was taking a video of the chaos, and Minhyuk was the only sane one who hugged you tightly and said that your child will be so lucky to have a set of crazy and loving uncles and aunties who will spoil them to no end.

It’s Sunday now, and it just so happens that your and Jungkook’s grandparents are in town to attend a gala this week. 

Enjoying your lunch in the indoor dining hall of your parents’ estate, the scene is a common one - lavish dishes on the table that Seokjin chows down while little  Seungjun sits on his lap, Soojin announcing that she scored 3 goals in their recent soccer game and that her twin brother Sunghoon placed first in their school’s poetry-writing contest, big boy Jihoon feeding his little sister, and the rest of the adults talking to each other from across the table, leaving the room abuzz with laughter and squeals. 

Your grandfather asks everyone to quiet down, wanting to hear how everyone’s doing, even if he’s really just looking at you and Jungkook.

“And how about both of you, my dear?” He asks. “How have things been since your visit to Busan?”

“We’ve been well,” you reply, immediately taking Jungkook’s hand. You don’t really have a plan of how you’ll tell everyone; just like how things have always been, you just want it simple. The news is a big deal, but you don’t want anything grand when it comes to announcing it. “We’re both busy with work but we’ve been making time for each other.”

“And your health?” Your grandmother asks. 

“Back to normal. The new medication has been good so I think I’m all clear,” you smile. 

“That’s wonderful,” your grandfather replies, pausing a bit, perhaps to let you continue should there be more you want to say.

You can tell he’s trying to control himself from asking something else; it’s not lost on you that your grandparents have been very vocal about their desire for you and Jungkook to have a child, considering that, in their words, they “don’t have much time left on earth.” You feel for them. This union was a dream and you hadn’t realized until the car ride this morning just how much a child would mean to them. 

Your grandfather turns to Seoyeon, ready to ask her this time but you get ahead of him.

“Actually, I’m not really back to normal,” you say, earning you worried looks from everyone. “I actually… Uh, you see. I… We—”

“We’re pregnant,” Jungkook finishes for you. You nudge him at the sudden announcement but he just chuckles. “You were rambling.”

“I…” You turn to look at your family who are all wide-eyed, perhaps still processing the words - except for the kids, of course, who are all still munching on their food, with Soojin asking why everyone is so quiet.

“Jungkook and I are expecting,” you say now, more calmly and more certain. “I’m due in the summer and we’re really excited. And nervous. But we can’t wait to meet our little one soon. And—”

The emotions overflow at this moment - both your parents and siblings are all teary-eyed, expressing their joy and excitement in so many ways. Your mother walks to you for a tight hug, and your father does the same to Jungkook until you’re hugging each member of both of your families - with your grandparents taking most of the time - including the kids who just follow what the adults are doing. 

Soojin squeals when you explain in kid language what’s happening, prompting her to hug your belly then remarking that you look the same.

“Your Auntie’s belly will grow big soon,” Jungkook says, rubbing your stomach. “Can I ask all of you to take care of her with me?” He asks the little ones now, kneeling in front of them and mirroring their adorable smiles. 

“Yes, Uncle Kookie!” They say in unison, prompting you to kneel alongside him and hugging each of the kids.

Their kisses are long and sweet. They’re much older now so they feel more responsibility when it comes to you and the baby, so they ask a lot of questions like how big they are right now, what they’re eating, and how they’ll come out of your belly. You answer each question, trying to explain as simply as you can with all the patience in the world.

Jungkook watches you, knowing that this - and all the times that you’re with them - is just a peek of how you’ll be as a mother. And he can’t wait to witness and experience all that with you. There’s so much to be excited about; he knows every moment now is precious and one you both will have to savor.

You return to your seat once everyone’s recovered, even if your mother is still crying and your grandparents still have glassy eyes.

“I know it took a while,” you say. “But Kook and I just wanted to make sure that we were having this child for our own reasons. And well, considering how we started, we wanted to enjoy ourselves first and not feel like we’re missing out on things.”

“And that’s alright, sweetheart,” Jungkook’s grandmother assures you. “We’re just glad that this happened on your own terms this time.”

“It did,” Jungkook answers. “We had a lot of growing up to do but uh, that won’t stop. I… I’ll still need help.”

“You have us,” Junghyun says now. “Min-jun, Seokjin, and I will do the big brother thing and guide you, Kook. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Seoyeon winks at you to say that you have her, Yeri, and Mina as well. You and Jungkook have such amazing people to guide you and that you look up to; you can’t wait to get to know yourself and each other in this aspect as well. 

The rest of the afternoon is spent with your parents and grandparents talking to you and Jungkook, expressing their joy and hope that everything will all be okay. Your siblings pull you both aside to talk about the next steps from parenting sessions, prenatal yoga, house hunting, and everything in between. They make it all exciting, knowing that the worries will come and go, and you appreciate them all for that. 

Later that night, you lay in bed while Jungkook stays by your side, propped up with one arm while his hand caresses your stomach once more, something he’s been doing every night before you both sleep. 

“Today was good,” you say, as you place your hand over his, caressing the fingers that wander around your bare skin. “It somehow reminded me of that lunch when they proposed this marriage and now look where we are. We’ve come such a long way, Kook. I’m glad we can finally share the joy with them.” 

Jungkook responds with a hum, his eyes glued to your stomach, traces of deep thoughts in them.

“What are you thinking about, honey?” You ask, cupping his cheek. He closes his eyes briefly to savor your touch.

“Just… everything, I guess,” he huffs. “Everyone said so many things. My brother even sent me a long text that I still have to respond to. But I was thinking about the kids. They’re still a rowdy bunch but they’re so good to each other, babe. They’re so good to people. And they have such affection towards their parents. I… I want that for our child. I want them to be good to others, to be loving to others. I want them to love us.”

“Honey, they will,” you smile, “because we’re raising them. You have such a big heart, Kook. I just know that’ll be enough to make them kind and loving people.”

“I just… I just want to be a good dad,” he admits, revealing another layer of his vulnerability. “I want them to have fun with me, to trust that I’ll protect them always. I want to be someone they’ll be proud of; I want them to be happy that I’m their father. I want to do right by them, by you.”

“I bet as they grow up, they’ll want to do the same with you. That’s how loved they’ll feel,” you say, turning to your side so you can face him and he can focus only on you. “You’re already doing amazing, honey. They’ll feel how much you love them by how much you love me. And you love me so beautifully. That makes all the difference.” 

“Thank you for making me so happy,” he responds after a beat of silence, his heartfelt words piercing through you. “I didn’t think I could feel more for you than I already do.”

“Me, too,” you smile, kissing him deeply. “We’re gonna be okay. Things will start to change but I want you to know that I’ll love you through it all, okay?”

“And I’ll love you through it all just the same,” he kisses your forehead now. 

With you cradled in Jungkook’s arms as you listen to his steadying heartbeat and soft snores, you know that however hard this journey is gonna be, he’ll hold you no matter what, and you’ll be strong for each other through it all.

Series Masterlist

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[incogrio]

ch.yj - i'll be your waiter today, sir

pairing: yeonjun x gn! reader, established relationship

genre: fluff, SMUT!

synopsis: you're a waiter at a restaurant and your bf yeonjun comes to visit you. activities ensue.

warnings: bj, general smut warnings, switch! yj, not very well written smut, nothing too crazy

w/c: 1k+

an: first smut... hope y'all like it bc i liked writing it! feel free to jork it to this fanfic, love y'all LOL i have nothing else to say <333

COMMENTS/FEEDBACK GREATLY APPRECIATED!!

your feet were killing you and your breath wafting back from your mask is making you wish you could quit your job and run away. your boyfriend, yeonjun would’ve supported you, but you couldn’t find it in you to rely on him like that. you muster up the courage to crack your neck and stretch out your foot for a moment, before getting back to work. just as you look up, you see your co-worker, oscar, welcoming in someone with a black baseball cap similar to your uniform’s, and a mask. he was tall, and looked a lot like yeonjun. you tilted your head as your eyes followed the two men to a little table in the corner, and finally you could see his face. wait a minute, that is yeonjun! what is your idol boyfriend doing visiting your job? you have no one else to serve as of now, and you thought of just watching your pretty boy, before you realized that your co-worker, oscar, was throwing himself at your boyfriend. 

“brother eughh,” you mumbled to yourself, watching yeonjun scootching away from oscar’s hand on his bicep and awkwardly coughing. yeonjun eyed around the restaurant, eyes yearning for the sight of your familiar body. 

when he finally finds you, he darts his wide eyes to your coworker as he takes his order, “help me!” he pleads with only his eyes. 

you smirk at him from behind your mask, your eyes crinkling ever so slightly. yeonjun almost melts at the sight. his little smile behind his mask falls when you shrug and take a lollipop from behind the counter, popping it into your mouth and looking away in faux obliviousness. 

to be honest, all yeonjun could think about was your lips. how they glistened with saliva and melted lollipop, the light from the windows making their gloss even shiner. how he’d love to force you onto your knees after teasing him like this, force his cock into your mouth and watch your lips suck on something meaningful. he’d grab your face harshly, fingers digging into the back of your head as he- 

“all right sir, your drinks will be out in just a second.” oh. right. 

yeonjun nods and as soon as oscar has left his vicinity, you walk up to him. he rolls his eyes at you, turning his back to you in faux anger. 

“thanks for your help back there, y/n.” he says angrily. if he wasn’t your yeonjun, you would’ve actually been worried. well,  a flash of worry washed over you as he used your real name, not one of the pet names he grew to love. 

you pouted, “aww, not baby or angel? you must be really hurt!” you baby him. it’s something you’ve both grown to love. him being the oldest in his idol group leaves him with lots of friends, but not much room to be babied. with you, however, he melts into a copy of huening kai. you can see his cheek pull up into a small from the angle you have on the back of his mask. 

he stays stubborn, and you grow frustrated. “yeonjun-ahhhh!!! you’re so stubborn!!” you whine out, stomping your foot lightly. 

he turns back to your, mask stretching to accomodate his jaw dropping. “aish! you talk to all your customers like that?” 

you look around, making sure no one can see you two, “only the ones i’m in love with,” you reply cheekily. yeonjun smiles, reaching up and slowly pulling his mask down as you lean closer to his lips. your gaze never leaves his plump lips, his staring into your eyes lovingly. he reaches a hand up, taking off your cap and placing it on the table before cupping your cheek. your lips slot together like two tetris blocks made for one another. he swipes his tongue across your lip, tasting the sweet cherry lollipop that had graced your mouth behind hand. he moans softly against you, before you hear footsteps behind you. 

you go to pull away as you hear oscar behind you, “y/n?” he asks, confused. yeonjun does let you pull away, smiling against your lips as you hit his chest softly, getting in a few more sucks on your plump lips before finally freeing you. you don’t face oscar, only bowing your head to look at the wood graining on the table as heat engulfs your face. 

“so… those are our specials!” you say, turning on your heel and walking away. 

once again, you’ve left your boyfriend with a hard-on and dreaming of your lips. 

soon after, yeonjun is fed his food from a newly silent oscar. after he finishes his meal, he leaves oscar a hefty tip and makes his way up to your little podium. 

“i’ll be waiting in the car, yeah?” he says softly. you find it endearing that he tries to not embarass you further. he reaches his hand to stroke the back of yours with his thumb, a silent apology, but not without a cheeky smile hehind his mask. you nod. he mutters, “love you,” before heading out the door. 

the rest of your shift is undeniably awkward. oscar is angry you’ve “stolen” his man, and you can’t stop thinking of the idol whos madly in love with you waiting in his fancy car. when the clock striked ten pm, you couldn’t have bolted outside faster. you walked up to yeonjuns black nissan gt-r, peering inside to find him softly palming his erection through his sweatpants, looking at pictures of you. you giggle to yourself. 

you go to the side where he is sitting and softly knock, causing him to jump and try to hide his previous actions. when he sees your familiar face, his shoulders slump out of relief.

“you’re being so mean today!” he whines as he opens his door.

“am i?” you mutter, climbing to kneel in front of his feet. he closes the door, looking down at you with a smirk. you press a kiss to the side of his knee. 

slowly, you kiss higher and higher, before sliding past yeonjuns erection to his other leg. he rolls his eyes, he tapped his foot before grabbing your jaw in one hand. 

“brat.” he says through his teeth, lips his hips up and pulling his sweatpants and boxers down with one hand. he wraps his hand around his cock, tilting it forward and directing you to open your mouth with a thumb flicking your lip. 

you smile, “won’t you beg me first?” you ask, fluttering your eyelashes at him.

he grumbles, pulling your face closer to his cock, and biting his lips when you refuse. 

“fine. please, please suck my cock baby.” he begs monotonely.

“thats the best you can do?” you ask, replacing his hand on his cock but remaining still.

“for fucks- please baby! it’d make me so happy, i promise.” as he spoke, he fell deeper into the submissive boy you loved to play with. “you wanna make me happy, yeah? please, angel, suck your baby’s cock,” he whines out, voice cracking and blown out eyes tearing up. you silently open his mouth and take his tip between your lips. your tongue flicks against his opening, picking up his precum and he moans lewdly, bucking his hips softly. “oh, fuck, yeah, just like that. soooooo good for me baby,” he groans in a high pitched tone as he throws his head back, arm reaching up to clutch the headrest. you looked up for a moment, taking in his sensual form and finally, you take a deep breath and force his entire dick into your mouth and throat. he is rendered silent at this, tongue almost hanging out of his mouth as he merely let out a soft breath. your nose just barely grazes his taut stomach. 

you moan against him, forcing him to reach to the center console with his freehand to dig his fingers into. “oh god… your mouth was made for my cock, wasn’t it? made just for me, only me.” he takes a few deep breaths as you begin to bob your head up and down, slobbering messily on his huge cock. “god… so fucking good,” he whines.

you keep going, faster and sucking harder as you feel him lose all sense of self. he begins to buck his hips into your mouth wildly. he ruins your rhythm countless times, but you can’t find it in you to tell him to stop.

“perfect fucking fleshlight… yeah, thats all you are,” he says mostly to himself kicking his feet forward onto the acceleration for more control. thank god the car is in park since he pushes his entire weight onto the pedals as he lifts his hips up and off the seat. you moan loudly, his balls slapping your chin lightly as his dick reaches new depths in your throat. “cumming! gonna- gonna fill your pretty mouth… you’ll swallow it all, i know you will…” he trails off deliriously, smiling to himself as his neck pulses from its pressure into the back of the seat. he moans devilishly as his dick convulses, shooting load after load into your mouth.

yeonjun only finds it in him to sit down and let you breathe once you let out a pitiful whine, tapping his thigh in a sign for help. when you’re freed from his cock, you finally are able to take a huge breath as slobber falls from your open lips. he leans forward onto his knees, staring down at you as if challenging you. you close your mouth and swallow all his dna whilst looking in his eyes, to which he smiles and kisses you softly as a reward.

“come,” he mutters, helping you up and into your spot as passenger. he reaches for the napkins in the glove box, cleaning his cock with a tissue before folding it over, cleaning your pretty face with the clean side. 

“did i do good?” you ask, slightly insecurely as he pulls his pants back onto his hips. you always wondered what the sex felt like for him, and despite how much he craved you, you never understood how insatiable he was for your touch, and your touch only. 

“did you-“ he chuckles, “baby, i’m gonna fuck you so hard when we get home. maybe then you’ll get how you make me feel.” 

[kenlvry]

angry confessions

c; getting into an argument abt something then saying “why u care” and yhhhh, angry confessions speak for itself, aged up 16-17 kenny kyle and stan

kenny mccormick

kenny wasn’t really fazed when something bloody happened, having died millions of time before, he got used to it. but when he saw you and some girl fighting he almost yelled stop loudly tryna be the main character, he let the fight happened bc he knew you hated it when someone pulls you away from a fight, it made it seem like you lost.

after the fight that you won you were frustrated and walked away home bc school alr ended, kenny ran to you and yelled at you “ what the fuck y/n?? you know how fucking dangerous that was?? you looked so fucked up” he said while holding a first aid kit, you couldnt care less how you look, “ y/n! are you even listening?? y/n” he said and walked infront of you, 

“fuck kenny what?, can i not get into a fight? idgaf how i look, she asked for it” “are you hearing yourself rn?? what if you fractured something?? cmon sit down so i can check” he touched your arm “don’t touch me” you said sternly, he let go and you walked away, he wasn’t going to let you go like that so he grabbed your arm again “omg kenny why the fuck do you care so much?! why do you care if i got into a fight!?” “ because i like you dumbass!” your eyes widen and so does kenny “w-what...” you said “ now let me treat you, cmon” he said checking you hands while blushing ,

after that it got somewhat awkard but you two def act more close than ever

stan marsh

you were hanging out with a boy, not just any other boy but a boy that was known as the most violent kid at school, people said the boy always got into fights, smokes behind the school and disrespects teachers. but there you were talking and laughing with him, it made stans heart twist, after you were done talking to the boy stan went over and talked to you to warn you abt him.

“yo y/n why were you talking to him js now?” you looked at stan then at the boy, “who him?” you looked over to the boy and stan nodded “because... hes my friend? plus i have him for my science partner so we were talking abt when to meet up” you said smiling and walking away “hold on, yk who he is right?? stay away from him, he’s dangerous!” stan said pulling your arm “cmon stan stop over reacting he’s sweet, he even promised to buy me lunch!” you said pulling away from him, “still! im going to talk to mr garrison abt this, i’ll ask so you and me are on the same team” he said and walked away, now youre the one pulling his arm

“the fuck? dont, its none of your business” he was so shocked at how defensive you got over the kid “its too! what if you got hurt,infact i’ll make sure for future projects that requires two people us two are already on one” he tried walking away again, “stan! dont butt in! let me be, hes not as dangerous as people potray him!” you said slightly raising your voice “ i’m not risking it.” he said crossing his arms also raising his voice slightly “ why the fuck do you care??! you never cared before!” you yelled looking angry “because i love you y/n! bc i care for you! how have you not realize it by now geez!” he yelled back, you sat there shocked with a slight tint of pink on your cheeks he coughed a little breaking the tension “ now cmon, you wanna change partners or not” he looked away refusing to make eye contact, you nodded. 

the whole time you two were working on the project you two blushed and smiled literally acted like you two never met

kyle broflovski

although you looked like a very untroubled person, you also had problems you wished would go away. so often times you and some other kids would smoke at the back of the school before school starts, its a way for you to release stress before school starts.

everyone kinda knew, the way you smelt when school starts it was too obvious,not to kyle i guess.. people didnt tell him bc they thought he knew! you thought he knew too tbh, but he thought it was from your dad or someone in your family, he believes your not one to get into that shit

school started and you scrapped your cig bud on the wall and threw it in a bin that was prepared by one the kid who smoked, as much as he smoked he cared for the environment too yk even though he's literally ruining it by smoking .when you came in the smell was strong, kenny smiled knowing what you did before school "smells strong y/n, things got tough huh?" he smiled while laughing a little "atp y/ns lung is gonna be all black like her heart" cartman added "is your dad okay y/n? he shouldn't smoke infront of his kids" kyle tried chiming in which made all five of you stop in your tracks. you looked at each other in confusion

"kyle, y/n dad isnt even alive" and kyle eyes was widen, he never asked bc he thought your dad was messed up and didn't wanna triger you. "wait then why does y/n smell like smoke" "bc she the one that smokes dumbass" kyles eye widen even more. with a little brother who used to vape and a bestfriend who drinked he was scared you'd be addicted too so he asked to talk to you separately.

"the fuck y/n?? smoking is so bad for you, you have to stop right now!" kyle got mad "ugh its none of your business,you literally used to smoke and how come you've only find out now?" you said rolling your eyes "thats not important! that shit can fuck up your lungs," "okay dad" you laughed a little and he got mad, he reach for your pockets and took away the packet of cigarettes you had "what the fuck kyle give them back, a teachers gonna see!" "no! not until you say you're gonna quit and start going to school with us from now on" he held the packet of cigarette high so you couldn't reach em

"why do you care?! why do you care if my lungs go all black and fade away? thats my problem!" "because i like you!" he said bringing the pack down and sighed "i like you y/n and I'm scared i might loose you so please, stop doing this" you blushed at the sudden confession

you didn't entirely quit, it was hard quitting something you always did as a routine so kyle would allow you only two times a week and gradually move from there<3

[byechristopher]

can you make a pt.2 of “i want more” but like the middle of it….idk maybe chris asking his brothers advices about what to do and ugly crying, writing the letter….just an idea bc i’m mesmerized with this fic and you writing

I Want More. [0.2]

– CHRIS STURNIOLO ANGST & FLUFF.

PART ONE.

Author's note: thank you so much for the request, love! I loooove the idea that you gave me so, here you go, Chris' side to the story. Do not copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and w33d, little bit of angst. But that's pretty much it.

Playlist:

"Chris. I think we need to stop this thing between us."

I freeze. What?

I am pretty sure I look like a crazy man, because my eyes are wide open and I completely freeze. I can't quite understand what is going on inside my head, or my body, but something makes me feel like throwing up.

"What? Why?" I whisper and I wish I never asked that question.

"I don't feel like doing it anymore, sorry. It's for the better." she is cold as ice, I see her standing up, searching for her clothes. There's nothing I can possibly say that won't sound utterly insane. So I just watch her.

She is stiff and quick, she looks like she wants to be out of my house immediately. As soon as possible. I watch her leave.

It is the first time that I watch her leave and I can feel my chest becoming empty all of a sudden. I quickly put on my sweatpants and I run down the stairs, chasing after her but by the time I reach the door, she is already in the car.

Fucking hell.

A few days have passed since that incident and they have been the worst days of my life, I think.

It's only 10PM but I try to get some sleep, I don't want to stay awake for too long, because my thoughts will go wild again. But as soon as I close my eyes, I can feel my chest hurting, a knot in the stomach, a lump in my throat. It feels horrible. So horrible that I tell Nick.

"You know it's because of what happened with that friend of yours, right?" he emphasizes the word "friend", rolling his eyes sarcastically.

"Nick, I'm fucking telling you.. actual pain. Cut the bullshit!" I am so frustrated.

He shrugs and widens his eyes, practically face-palming his face, "Chris, you're in love with the girl, just admit it and shut the fuck up so we can all go to sleep!" he groans.

"Fucking hell, Nick. I shouldn't have told you anything!" my fist meets the table but Nick is unfazed. He knows my anger issues appear when I am feeling like this.

"Chris, I'm being serious. You're denying it so much that your body started to react to it. This is an actual thing that happens. And no matter what I tell you, you won't listen to me." his voice is calmer now and I know he's being serious, "so grow a pair and just tell her already!" he yells and turns to the other side, covering himself with a blanket.

"You've been really fucking helpful, Nick, thanks!" I scoff, closing the door behind me and then going back to my room.

This cannot be the case. Nick is just being an ass. But why does my chest hurt again now that I think of her?

I don't know how long it's been but I've been drinking. I don't know why, I'm not this type of person but, well, happens to the best of us. I try to find my lighter, grabbing the blunt I rolled just a few minutes ago, and heading outside so that I can smoke in peace.

I am outside of her house and I don't know how or why, but it feels right. I feel the need to cry, God, I am such a pussy. I call her. The moment I hear her voice, some tears escape my eyes. I cannot understand.

She comes outside and we start talking, with every word we say, my chest hurts even more.

".. that's not how friends with benefits are, Chris." there's not a way I can actually reply to her because she's right. That's not what friends do, but fuck, I'm scared.

I chew on my bottom lip nervously, "I don't know how to do this. I thought you liked how things were."

What the fuck am I even saying? I just keep messing up. But what she says next, messes me up.

"I want more", "grow a pair", "I want nothing to do with you".

Nick's words reappear in my head and I want to fucking run away. Instead, once again, I do what I do best. I suck it in and I fuck up, "so is this the end?" even the words feel heavy on me.

"I suppose so. Yes." I nod, my jaw is clenched and I can feel my heart breaking again. I turn around quickly, about to leave, because I can't keep my tears in place anymore. I hear the door shut behind me and I burst.

I turn around, walking towards her door again, drunk, high and ugly crying like a little boy. How embarrassing it would be if she ever saw me like this.

I don't remember how, but apparently I went home at some point, because I wake up in my own room. I immediately run downstairs to find Nick and Matt in the kitchen.

"I need help." I clear my throat.

"No shit." Nick rolls his eyes and Matt laughs.

"No, seriously. I need help. I went to her house yesterday. Drunk. And crying." Matt turns around to face me and so does Nick. They did not expect that, neither did I.

"Oh wow. You're actually in love." Matt continues to sip on his juice, and Nick slaps his hand over his mouth dramatically, "don't say that word, Matt! He'll go crazy." Nick says and I sigh.

"No, you're good. Because you two are right. And she's right. She confronted me, told me to grow a pair." I let my head fall on the hard surface of the table, forehead pressed against the wood. My brothers are both looking at me.

"Yeah, it was about time." Matt agrees and I would normally punch him, but I'm just a mess now.

"What do I do?" I groan.

"Go to her house again", "call her, duh", "send her flowers", "buy her chocolate?", "oh my God, plan a romantic date!".

The list of suggestions was long, needless to say, but it still just.. wasn't right. Then an idea came up and I stood up abruptly.

"Wait, I know!" not wanting to lose the creativity or the courage, I quickly run to them, giving them both a kiss on the cheek (which made us all cringe, but it's fine), and then quite literally run to my room.

I am outside of her house again; I've already knocked on the door, pushed the envelope underneath the door and this is the most nervous I've been in my whole life. I can't believe I just did that.

I can hear shuffling behind the door and I almost want to leave – almost. I don't. But I feel the stupid tears in my eyes again. What if she doesn't want this anymore? What if she just never opens the door? What if she hates me already? What if–

The door opens and she cries, and I'm crying. But she opened the door, does that mean–

Stop overthinking.

"I can't lose you. I promise, I will try for you. I will do anything for you." I whisper and I mean it, I'm hugging her so tightly.

"I love you, Chris."

Wow, it feels good. To hear someone say they love you and mean it.

"I am in love with you too."

Fucking hell. That feels just as good. To love someone and be able to let them know.

"Your handwriting still sucks."

I laugh, "fuck off."

Sorry, I didn't have time to proof-read, so, sorry if I have any typos. Pft. I was excited to upload it.

@loveesiren promised to tag you, queen. 🤍

[celestie0]

Idk if this is weird to ask but can you tell more about your situationship?😭 I’m curious since it inspired the story idkkk

nooo not weird at all haha, i had plans to share more ab it once i was done w kickoff but i dont really mind sharing a bit now (will literally always take up any chance to talk ab it it’s an impulse i cannot resist)

basically i met this guy like halfway through my freshman year of college at a frat event, it was a bit different from kickoff dynamic in that we started hooking up pretty soon after that, just a casual thing, but then the pandemic hit and so he went back home to live w his grandpa/family in new york (i live in cali) once campus shut down and stuff. obviously we couldn’t hook up anymore LMFAO but we still talked a lot and i think it was during this time of just talking to one another that i really started to catch massive feelings for him :”)

i went through some bad anxiety during covid, struggling a lot w my career and if i still wanted to pursue the things i thought i wanted (i think a lot of college students went through this w the pandooski) but he would always be there for me and would stay on facetime calls w me if i was struggling to study, he’d cheer me up w pics of his tibetan dogs lol, just reallyyy sweet ugh when we were long distance i rly saw a side of him i didn’t before and i think that’s what made me fall for him

i confessed to him first, similar to reader in kickoff, n told him we could do long distance until he moved back here. but then he hit me with the “i’m sorry, i can’t date you, i’ve got commitment issues”. in his case, he had a long-term girlfriend in high school for four years who he also was dating into college (before he met me), but he found out she had been cheating on him for a long time w not just one but multiple of his friends 😭 so..he said he has really bad trust issues, and that he really wanted to try to date me, but he just felt like he couldn’t

i was really hurt, obviously, but i think in hindsight maybe it was a responsible decision on his part to not throw me into a mess of a relationship w him, one he knew he wasn’t ready for. but at the time, i just thought that it was bc i wasn’t good enough to change his mind. anyways, he asked if we could still talk and be friends, and i said sure bc i didn’t really want to lose him. i figured i could just wait for him (and i told him that i would)

yeahhh well the waiting was way more fucking painful than i thought. he flew to cali once to visit me when flights were sort of resuming, which is just fucking insane because you’ll fly to see me but you won’t date me 😭, and i told him that it’d be the last time he ever sees me! and it was :”) maybe it was an impulsive decision by me, but idk. yknow when you get stuck in a limbo for what feels like forever that you make a decision just for the sake of making one (it was such a short amt of time in reality, but it felt like forever) he made a comment to me in our last conversation about how he really wished he didn’t have to be someone i had to wait on to change, and that really fuckin stuck w me lmao i cried so hard the drive home from the airport. i think all the “what-ifs” kinda sunk in at that moment

ch7 of kickoff was basically me trying to get inside the head of the guy from my situationship, and see what it’s like to have fears hold you back from wanting to experience something for yourself, something that could be beautiful if you would just give it a chance. i felt like if i wrote it from that angle, i’d have more understanding of my situationship (i dont have commitment issues myself, tbh i’ve never rlly understood the concept. like, i’ve been fucked over by ppl in my life too but i’m never one to punish the next person for it. dealing w my situationship was really hard because of this, i would get really frustrated, but writing ch7 from gojo’s character’s perspective made situationship guy’s feelings make more sense to me, i think, there was a sense of closure in that)

but anyways, i was in love w him for sure. like, possibly infatuated. there was a time where we got into a big argument about something and i think i legit i cried myself into a fever 💀 it was all so crazy and powerful, the feelings, i’ve been involved w n dated other guys since but of course none of it really compares. idk, i guess there are just some people that can make you feel that way, there’s really no use in understanding why.

this sounds so sappy, lmaoo i swear i truly am “over” him in that i hardly think of him that much anymore, n tbh i don’t think of him specifically all that much while i’m writing kickoff, but there are moments where i can’t help but bring those feelings into the story.

there’s a line in ch8, near the end of the bed scene, where reader has a thought like

“You feel so safe with him, and yet you also feel scared, because you like him so much that you would let him ruin you if he wanted to.”

yeah. that’s basically how i felt about him.

[jaemmphilia]

★𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕞𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥★ || kim j.mn

★ summary: the moment suho has been dreading for the past five years has finally come. he has absolutely no idea how to handle it.

★ pairing: dad!suho x dad!reader

★ warnings and rating (16+): suho is stressed bc his boys are growing up, he loves his boys a lot, he cries a little, like two cuss words, gays in love :'((

★ word count: 815

★ binnie's thoughts: i've been feeling super frustrated lately, so here's some soft domestic fluff for you all

★ requested?: yes, by @jaehyuncocksleeve

★ disclaimer: this fic in absolutely NO WAY represents suho as a person. this is simply a work of fiction for entertainment purposes, so enjoy!

© triplejracha, 2023. please do not copy to any other platform.

Today’s the day. The day that every parent dreads, from the moment their kid turns that special age. The day their precious little bean goes to big-kid school. Suho wishes it would never come. Alas, he can’t just stop his boys from growing up, so he’s gotta suck it up, your words.

The day his twin boys, Daesik and Dalyun turned five, he knew their first day of first grade was nearing close. Every time he would go to the grocery store there would be displays screaming, “Get ready to go back to school!” at him. He would glare at the happy children on the displays, his mind going back to the reminder that Daesik and Dalyun needed to get their school supplies before it was too late.

It was almost too late when the twins got their school supplies. [Name] had told Junmyeon at least thirty times a day that he needed to look over the supplies list and take the boys to the store so they can pick out what kind of supplies they want. 

[Name] sits Junmyeon down after dinner one night, staring down at his husband with a scowl. The twins were in bed, and [Name] tucked them in after a bedtime story. Junmyeon wishes the couch would swallow him up and turn into a stale fry that’s been tucked between the cushions for months now. [Name] gives the male a look that tells Junmyeon to start explaining why the hell their boys’ first day of school is in two days and they still do not have any supplies.

“I can explain, love,” Junmyeon starts, shrinking deeper into the couch as [Name]’s piercing pools of [EC] narrow at him. If looks could kill, [Name] would be wanted for the murder of his husband. “I meant to take them a week ago.”

“And you didn’t, why?” [Name]’s voice is sharp, and the man isn’t even yelling. He’s talking normally but his tone tells Junmyeon that [Name] is angry. 

“It’s a funny story, really,” Junmyeon chuckles nervously, but [Name] isn’t laughing, which is a bad sign. His husband doesn’t get angry often, but when he does, you might want to watch out. 

“Junmyeon, does it look like I’m in the mood for a funny story? I want an explanation, and I want one now.”

Junmyeon breaks, finally, tears forming at the corners of his eyes, “Fine! I confess, damn it! I didn’t take them because I don’t want them to go to school!” Junmyeon covers his face with his hands, letting the tears fall freely.

[Name]’s body and face soften at his husband's confession. Now that Junmyeon told him the truth, [Name]’s chest rumbles with light chuckles. [Name] takes a seat next to Junmyeon and he tugs his sulking husband close to his body.

“Junnie, look at me,” [Name] says, lightly shaking his husband's slightly bigger body, “I’m not mad anymore now that you actually explained what was going on. It’s not like you to stall until the last minute.”

“I know, love. I’m really sorry, but the thought of my precious little beans growing up scares me to no end.” Junmyeon says, allowing [Name] to wipe the salty tears from his cheeks.

“I understand, but this is something we have to do. You want them to get a proper education so they can be successful, don’t you?” [Name] asks softly, his slim fingers pushing Junmyeon’s wild baby hairs away from his face.

“Of course I do, I want them to grow up and be happy. But I also want them to stay little forever.” Junmyeon sniffles, looking at his husband with the cutest pout on his handsome face.

“I don’t want them to grow up either, but it’s just part of life, darling,” [Name] says, chuckling softly at his pouty husband, “They’re only five right now, Junnie. They have lots of growing to do.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just love them so much.” Junmyeon sighs, his chest clenching with heavy amounts of love for his twins. 

“They love you too, trust me. They keep asking me when Daddy is going to take them shopping for school supplies. Dalyun is hoping to find a Bluey backpack.” [Name] laughs, Junmyeon joining in.

“I’ll take them tomorrow, promise. Will you be joining us, love?” Junmyeon asks, his hand slipping into [Name]’s and bringing it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on top of his hand. 

“Sure, I’ll go. It takes two to parent those two little monsters.” [Name] says with a cheeky smile.

“How dare you call my little beans monsters! They’re little angels!” Junmyeon gasps, offended. [Name] just laughs some more and stands up.

“Sure, sure. Let’s get ready for bed. We have a few busy days ahead of us.” 

“Yes, we do. I may not be prepared, but I’m happy.”

“That’s all that matters, dear.”

[kowwpow]

ik I don’t normally talk abt stuff like this, but it’s been really weighing me down a lot. This is a major vent(rlly bad and prob rlly triggering) and I’m talking to no one in particular, just in general. I would encourage ppl not to say anything abt it or just not read it at all bc I’m mostly just typing what I cannot say out loud.

Okay, so the presidential election is this year. Yeah, I’ve heard abt project 2025 😐 I’ve read about it. And I want to scream. How has trump managed to make something that infinitely worse than Kosa(imo)

because holy fuck, I know this is not what I should be focusing on and it’s low-key selfish, but reversing women’s rights?! I’m not 100% sure what that entails, but I’ve seen a screenshot of the actual legitimate document saying that the only “valid family” is with a working husband and a stay-at-home wife.

Do you not understand how frustrating it is to have the ability to do whatever you want with your life dangled in front of you for your entire life, and be told you could be whoever you want to be, just for it to very possibly be ripped away from you right as you get close to adulthood.

Everything about this is so horrendous?!

I already wished I lived anywhere but the us, but it’s so much worse now.

If Trump becomes president again, and if this project gets put into place, would I even be able to leave the country??! Would I be allowed to live in another country, or would I be forced to stay here, miserable.

like, in all seriousness, completely 100% genuine right now. I might actually just kill myself if and when I get to adulthood if this happens, and if I am forced into a life I don’t want. I’m already suicidal, and the thought that I won’t get to experience life as I told I would be able to would absolutely crush me and would probably be the final straw tbh.

It feels like I’m being toyed with, why are some(<- important, i know good Christians) Christians so fucking entitled and cruel and just horrible. This is going to drive people AWAY from your religion, it’s going to make people hate it! Why does trump think he gets to shove all of his beliefs onto everyone else and force everyone to comply. I don’t want to be a stay at home mom, hell, I don’t think I want to be a mom, period!!

I thought we stepped away from all the toxic stuff before lgbt and women’s rights. But no, apparently not.

I am actually raging and crying over this, you cannot do this to me! Or anyone! It’s not fair!!

I hate this place, I don’t want to be here anymore, genuinely :(

likely will take this down later, but I desperately needed to get this off my chest bc idk if I can trust my dad enough to talk abt it. Bc my family is super religious and I’m guessing my dad is a trump supporter. God, I hope not.

[55sturn]

(im the person who sent the anon abt needing advice so im so sorry if this is long) but im soooo sick guys, the guy I’ve been talking to for a few months is lowkey a known player and i knew that before talking to him but i thought i could change him 😣 (im dumb omg) but everything started out so great with him and lately its just been so downhill :( when we hang out he’s so affectionate and wants me with him constantly but when we’re not together he’s so nonchalant and dry. idk how to feel bc he flips a switch constantly. when we’re hanging out we literally do things couples would do, but then i won’t hear from him for hours when we’re apart. i stayed at this man’s house for 4 days straight (he begged me to) and the second i got home, i didn’t hear from him until the next day :( like guys idk ive had a talk with him before about what he wants and he gives me the whole “i usually don’t do relationships but I genuinely like you and i wanna try for you” thing but idk it’s like he’s saying things to keep me around yk? this man literally has a POLAROID PIC OF ME IN HIS PHONE CASE 🙃 and then has the audacity to ghost for hours like chat what is going on!! he takes me to parties with him on our uni campus and introduces me as “his girl” to everyone like ???? is he only doing this so no one shows interest in me?? like is it an ego thing omg. am i insane??! i really like him but idk it’s like his communication and vibe are so off if we’re not in each others presence:(

i’m gonna relay a message that @sturnsdarling said to me,

“ if you have to try and figure out where a guys head at and solve riddles to know if he likes you or not, he doesn’t like you. i know it’s so brutal to hear but i love you too much to let you jump through hoops of confusion just to get a guy that doesn’t deserve you in the first place. no answer means no, a confusing answer means no and riddles and walking over eggs shells means no. the right person won’t make you complete valiant quests to be with them, this isn’t the hobbit and anyone who makes you feel confused lot the point of exhaustion is NOT your person. “

he may actually like you, but he likes the attention more than anything. i’m dealing with the same shit right now and it’s frustrating because you may think that he genuinely likes you, and it’s gonna hurt to hear this but he enjoys the thrill of chasing you and you chasing him more than the idea of actually being together, essentially he’s stringing you along because the idea of having someone who’s there regardless is enticing to him. you can either have that rough and frustrating “what are we?” conversation and you can tell him that his actions are hurting you and hope that it will change things. i’m so sorry you’re dealing with this and i wish guys were more transparent, but they’re not and they suck. you deserve someone who wants to be with you publicly and without making you jump through all these hoops and question everything.

[lqfiles]

GIRL, i don’t have twitter anymore, twitter is out of air here in brasil, AND OMG THATS SO FRUSTRATING (btw i randomly appeared that day, and i still dk why it came back, but now is out of air again😭) but anyways, how are you?? you are not skipping meals right? hope u’re doing great (and drinking water) !!

LQFILES, remember i said that things happened...like weeks ago on twitter...(when twitter was still alive here 🕊) SO OKAY, there was this guy i had a little crush on school bc like, he was attractive, but i didn’t know if he wanted me, SO my friend called me and him to her bday party, and ykw? WE KISSED, i was like SO HAPPY, but then i just discovered he is an asshole, but whatever, i just wanted to kiss him, nothing more than this.

GURL JAEHYUN IS GOING TO ENLIST BYE, i’m a military’s wife now🕊

tmi abt my life, my phone broke, so i just have an old one until my phone gets fixed, tomorrow i have a bday party to go, and on 12th october i have 2 parties to go, and one of them is a halloween party so as expected, i’m already freaking out abt what costume i’ll use (i think i should go as jennifer from that movie “jennifer’s body”, lmk if u have any ideas for costumes), well exams are near and i’m ripping my hair out of stress and anxiety (i should study, but what can i do if people invite me to parties, like it’s not my fault that people invite me) and i think these are the highlights from my life...

but tell me now the highlights from your life these days/months...<3

— xoxo, 🧸

I STILL CANT BELIEVE THEY TOOK MY BRAZILIAN QUEEN FROM ME 😭😭😭 i was already wondering why you never replied but no i see, i hope they bring it back, we need the brasilians back..

HSJDHSJDHSJDH BROOOO WHY DID MY JAW DROP 😭😭😭😭 THIS IS SO FANFIC CODED up until the part where you found out he is asshole 😑 but HSJDHSJDJSK omgg yall kissed i know you probably felt giddy as hell, so nothing happened after that right? how did you find out he was an asshole 👀 I WISH MY CRUSH LIFE WAS THIS EVENTFUL BUT IT ISNT EXCEPT FOR THAT I GOT CONFIRMED IT IS A ONE SIDED CRUSH 😭😭💔💔

i refuse to believe jaehyun is being taken. they need to find someone else. he needs to STAY. i don’t care.

your life is so eventful i wish i was you 😭 i was literally talking with my friend the other day about how it would be fun to have a halloween party but i can’t because of strict parties, you on the other hand are living LIFE… but i don’t have good costume ideas unfortunately,i think the one you’re going for is already good enough tho!!! i’m happy to see you enjoying yourself tho, i hope you’re phone gets fixed as well as that your exams go well for you :3 i’ll do some prayers for you!! MAKE SURE TO STILL STUDY!!!

AAAAHH ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HEARD THE DRINKING WATER CATCHPHRASE 💔💔😭😭 i missed you plss.. i’ve been eating well and drinking well too, and broshsjddjfj let me send you a rundown of my crush lore in your inbox, WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS DEVASTATED….. hope you’ve been well tho :P <333

[bookinit02]

HI ME AGAIN . Glad you appreciate the asks because here's another. I just finished the posted script, and I'll be moving on to the fic soon! There were SO MANY THINGS I loved outside of just the Byler (which I will no doubt scream about via Ao3 once I get to the fic version of those moments), and I started to write them down but only once I got to episode five, so unfortunately I forgot most of them. However here's a few anyway:

All the scenes with El, Lucas, and Max were SO SWEET. Them working together to save and hide her, them talking about love, just—ALL OF. I love that trio in general and the focus on them in the script is great ❤️

Argyle and Will's talk was so sweet :( I especially love the added dimension you gave Argyle in that scene, outside of just "comic relief stoner dude" (and the plants!!! he named the plants after all his friends!!! so SWEET)

That cut from Jonathan incredulously asking Nancy "What? You and Steve just spend all your time—" to Dustin yelling "Fuck!" in frustration was HILARIOUS and I can ABSOLUTELY picture that happening on TV

Robin and Vickie!!! Yes!!! The lesbians are winning!!!!! I almost wish Vickie HAD stayed to see who it was/Steve had just come out before she left bc them meeting would have been... both sweet and hilarious.

Okay I was going to wait to freak out about the Byler-specific stuff because it'll be the main focus of the fic but like. I can't bro. Mike not even HESITATING to jump in after Will? The relief of them finally revealing their secrets and comforting each other (and then the frustration of Mike telling Will his Vecna-vision of Will's corpse is "nothing" IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT CONVO like I get the reasoning but CHRIST dude)? Mike just casually revealing he self-sacrificially jumped into the quarry once before and proceeding to not elaborate AT ALL? And the LETTERS oh my god. When/if ever those get revealed to Will I am going to LOSE IT.

Whoops this got long again - last point. Overall I just... absolutely love this script? All the dialogue and the actions feels so in-character, like I can actually envision it all being said in the show—ESPECIALLY Erica's lines, you have her little middle school snark down PAT.

Okay I am done screaming . For now. Much love ❤️

hi!! sorry it’s taken me so long to answer this, it took me a while to get back in the comment-answering mood😭💗

i’m glad you’re enjoying the elumax plot! they’re very very special to me and i enjoy writing them very much :)

argyle!! i personally love scenes where the “comic relief” character is given unexpected depth, so i was really excited to explore that with him. that moment specifically was inspired by a really great s5 fic (can’t remember the name right now, unfortunately—if anyone knows, please feel free to leave it in the comments!) where argyle brings pizza rolls to the hospital for max and lucas. it was such a sweet moment in that fic, and i really admire how the author treated his character. i wanted to emulate that, at least a little bit!

you are the ONLY PERSON that commented on that moment, thank you so much😭😭😭💗 i was proud of it. feels very much like something the show would do (if they were allowed to say fuck more often!)

ROVICKIEEE💗💗💗 dw she will definitely meet steve eventually!

glad you liked all the byler :) it’s been a couple fics in the making!

thank you so much for the comment, i get really really excited when people comment on my scripts🥹🫶🏻 and yes, erica!! love her to bits :)

[whats-wild-to-you]

could u maybe write one where they break up bc she thinks he doesnt love her and he thought its bc she was jealous of other girls. they stay “friends” and she says i hate you one night when shes drunk. angsty with confrontation and fluffy ending plz thanku

I hope it’s as angsty and fluffy as you wanted it to be😉🫶

__________________________________________

You remained in bed, pretending to be asleep while Jay walked in and out of your shared bedroom. It was barely beginning to dawn outside but he was already dressed. You listened in as he went to the kitchen to prepare his smoothie.

“I made you a smoothie too.” He said, poking his head inside the bedroom one last time.

“Mmhh…”

“I’ll be off then. See you later.”

Frustrated, you pushed the covers off you, sighing. No ‘I love you’, no kiss either. And it’s been like this for a while. You were seeing the signs clearly now but didn’t want to believe them. Jay had been so eager to win you over since the first time you two met. He was parading you around, bragging about his girlfriend. Not anymore. You didn’t even know when the last time was you did something romantic. Jay had been too busy lately, spreading himself thin. Naturally you understood when he cancelled plans or was too exhausted to do something on the weekends. But it wasn’t just that. Whenever he had free time, he spent it with his friends at the gym.

And on top of that there was no one you could talk about it with. Your friends were Jay’s friends, and you just assumed they would side with him.

“How’s your schedule looking next week?” You asked the next day in bed before he fell asleep.

“Full. I’m also shooting a music video.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“No reason. Go to sleep, you have to get up early in the morning.”

Without protest, he turned to his side and fell immediately asleep.

The aforementioned music video was released two weeks later. You watched it not knowing what to expect. In the end you wished you hadn’t.

Jay’s words rang in your ears. You had asked him to not have female models in his music videos anymore since it made you uncomfortable. Jay agreed right away, saying he’d never do something that would upset you.

Unfortunately, he only kept his promise for a while.

“We should break up.” You said one day casually, while watching tv.

“You’re right. It would be best if we broke up.” Jay nodded in agreement. You had no comeback, your brain stopped working.

What? He’s okay with it?

“I’d like us to stay friends, though.” He added barely above a whisper.

“We can do that.”

Despite agreeing to part ways amicably and stay friends without avoiding each other, you had a hard time adjusting. You barely saw Jay and even considered the possibility of him avoiding you on purpose.

“This won’t do! I have to talk to someone.”

You knew Kiseok was Jay’s best, and oldest, friend. Surely the two have talked about you and surely Kiseok wouldn’t avoid you like Jay did.

“Hey! Am I interrupting?”

“No, I came here to record something but I’m not feeling it tonight.”

“Can we talk? About Jay?”

“Aah. Are you already regretting the breakup?”

“I thought I would be okay but I’m not, and I thought Jay would suffer but he seems fine.”

In a different neighborhood in Seoul, Jay had the exact same idea when he called Hyukwoo to chat with him.

“Are you not busy, hyung?”

Jay shook his head, sighing deeply.

“Do you miss her a lot?”

“I never wanted to break up with her, and only agreed to it because I thought she had a hard time watching me interact with all those female models in my music videos. But now I’m not so sure that’s the reason she wanted to break up.”

“Kiseok, did he ever mention to you that he’s not in love with me anymore?”

“Why do you think that?”

“He wasn’t as affectionate as before. Maybe that’s why he agreed so quickly to the breakup.”

Kiseok shrugged, he was just as clueless as Hyukwoo who was listening to Jay’s rants.

A few weeks went by in which you didn’t see Jay at all. But then your phone reminded you of what day it was. Junwon’s birthday. You had promised him you would come. And you were pretty sure Jay would be there too.

Wanting to look your best, you picked out a dress Jay liked on you, did your hair and applied makeup generously. Who knew? Some of Junwon’s friends could be there too and you thought about impressing them to get Jay jealous.

Your plan backfired as soon as you arrived at the party. There were a lot of women invited and naturally they were all sitting next to Jay. He didn’t even register you were there. Awkwardly, you sat alone at a table, sipping on your drink. You were not a good drinker but tonight you felt like getting drunk.

At some point Kiseok sat down next to you, subtly trying to take the bottle of soju away from you. You pushed his arms away, ranting about how shameless Jay was to gather all these women around him. An idea came to mind when you saw one of Junwon’s friends looking at you from across the room.

Determined to get Jay’s attention, you walked over to him and introduced yourself. He offered to buy you a drink and you nodded, following him to the bar.

You were paying no attention to Jay, but noticed that the room had gone silent. The man next to you looked around, noticing the change in the atmosphere.

“Maybe we should go someplace else.” He suggested, putting his hand on the small of your back. But before he could lead you away from the crowd, an arm wrapped around your waist, dragging you away from him.

“Jay! What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Let go!”

“You’re going nowhere with her! Just walk away, dude.” He said to the guy instead, completely ignoring you.

“I said let go of me!” But instead of removing his arm, Jay grabbed your hand and dragged you away from the guy. Outside, the fresh air hit your nostrils and intensified the headache the alcohol had already caused.

“What is wrong with you? We broke up, remember? You have no right to tell me who I should hang out with!”

“Trust me, you don’t want to be with his guy. He’s no good.”

“Well, you might be wrong like I was wrong about you as well.”

“What’s your problem?” He yelled at me.

“You. You are my problem. I hate you. You broke my heart!” You watched as Jay scoffed at your accusations.

“I broke your heart. What about you? Have you not broken mine? It was you after all who suggested the break up. I only brought it up because I saw the signs!”

“We both know you don’t love me. You didn’t love me anymore. I don’t know why you couldn’t muster up the courage to demand a break up first so I did it instead. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t have broken up with you!”

“Wait. So you’re telling me you didn’t break up with me because you were jealous?” Jay asked slowly as you both looked genuinely confused. Finally, realization hit him and he lead you to his car, got behind the wheel and drove off.

“Where are we going.” Jay remained silent and drove back to the apartment you shared not too long ago. The apartment he willingly moved out of. The password on the door was still the same.

As the door unlocked you felt your heart flutter.

“Sit.” Jay said as he went to the kitchen to make some coffee.

You both needed to be sober for this conversation. After handing you a cup of steaming coffee, he sat down next to you, looking at you deep in your eyes.

“Was it not you who said that we should break up?”

“Yes.” You said in a small voice.

“Why did you do it? Why did you say it if you didn’t mean it?”

“I already told you I thought you didn’t love me anymore. The way you were behaving, not as affectionate as before. I’m not stupid you know!”

“I’m so sorry!” Jay finally said. “I didn’t want you to think I don’t love you anymore. I tried to keep my distance because I felt that I was hurting you with my actions.”

“Well, you promised me you wouldn’t hire female models for for music videos anymore and you didn’t really keep that promise, did you?”

“What I do professionally does not reflect how I feel about you!” He tried to argue but you shook your head energetically.

“You don’t love me, you don’t respect me if you ca-” Suddenly you stopped talking, realizing how petty you sounded. “I understand your work and what it entails, I don’t want to dictate what you should do but you have to consider my feelings too and also what others think about me. If people see that you keep being a playboy, it makes me look stupid!”

“It’s just a public image, babe. I’m not like this with you!”

“I know that but nobody else does, I feel stupid sometimes when people look at me, I can see the pity in their eyes.”

“I’ve already stopped caring what people think of me a long time ago, I suggest you do the same. You would be much happier.”

The way you smiled softly, looking up at him, melted his heart.

“So we really didn’t have a good enough reason to break up after all.”

“I guess not.”

“What are we doing now?” You asked, a hopeful smile dancing around your lips, hopeful that Jay would get your clue.

“I guess we make up!” He said, inching closer to you, before his lips touched yours.

[fierce-little-miana]

(1/3) hii im the anon from before, thank u for the answer, i don’t mind the length at all!! the games being old/some never translated officially and a lot of weird possible bits about Chizuru’s life before the shinsengumi being ignored bc “otome mcs are blank slates, it’s not that deep” means it’s rare for ppl to try and analyze chizuru’s mental state and I think it’s such a shame like I’m aware that they could have done so much more with chizuru’s oni nature and sword skills (kinda infuriating lol) but I love her as a narrator and I think she’s an interesting character overall, she’s babygirl❤️. Kodo is inconsistent but he always has an agenda for taking care of Chizuru (especially bad in Saito’s and in Sannan’s route)

Hello again anon,

Sorry for the delay in my answer. I was very happy to receive this ask but a gap in internet connexion and some personal issues prevented me from answering it sooner.

To continue on Chizuru being emotionally isolated, yes Chizuru never thinking about getting married is what brought to my attention that something was wrong in the way she saw her own future. If all the lies Kodo fed her had been true, the most likely outcome for her life should have been to marry a man (either an assistant of her father he would have adopted, or another doctor or someone of similar social standing). I am not saying Chizuru should have been eager to get married. But, as a 16 years old girl, she should have started seriously considering it. Because it was an extremely likely scenario for how her life was going to play out.

Yet there is nothing, no dread at the idea of marrying someone, no eagerness, no annoyance at the prospect of having the same life for the rest of her life… Nothing. As if the idea had never even occurred to her. And since she did not have any other plan to replace this one we are left with what? Her staying with her father forever? How was she supposed to live if anything happened to him? It is as if she did not have any life, any future, outside of him. Something was very wrong there.

More than Chizuru's sword skills, on which I already gave my opinion when commenting on the movies (basically I am fine with Chizuru's strength not being her fighting skills and find her reluctance to enter a sword fight despite having some skills to be a perfectly valid character trait but I wished she was showed ready to use it in specific situations, in which she is defending people, more often), it is her relationship with her oni nature that frustrate me the most. Chizuru is not human, period. And she is so very not human, that she is even less human than some other oni and that makes her extra special even to oni. This discovery should be earth shattering for her, especially considering how human she is in the other sense of the word. And it is not really explored. It is explored a bit, like when her and Souji bound on their newfound 'monstrosity', but not enough to my taste. I wish Hakuouki dived into this way more than it did.

Considering what you are saying, I am sad to not have an access to Sannan' route (though I am still hoping for a Switch release of the newest translated games). Worst case scenario I will try finding it on youtube or something like this.

I am pretty sure Kodo said he was "wrong to let Chizuru have any freedom at all" in the movie. Death to Kodo! Death!!!!!!

You talk about her finding punishment (or punishing behaviors) normal and the things is I am not even sure that at first Chizuru recognized some behaviors as punishment. They are just normal behaviors to find in normal relationship. Nothing to see there. And that is why I say again: DEATH TO KODO!

Your "I can't believe he thought about my feelings 🥺" has me like 😭😂 because this is exactly how I read this scene and it is infuriating from an outside POV. This man is doing the bare minimum, THE BARE MINIMUM, and Chizuru is like "has anyone being that kind to me before?". I want to shake everyone inside the Shinsengumi, including Chizuru, like an old grandma who is not getting her way at the local farmers market.

I think Chizuru actually has a lot of potential for development as a character, besides some inconsistencies that are linked to the fact that she must fit several different 'routes', and I am very happy that we are taking time to discuss her.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!