#and I’ll be like “ooooooh yes! that’s INTERESTING! let’s explore that!”

[goatsandgangsters]

Top 5 grishaverse ships

hahaha oh man, my one (1) juggernaut ship and then my fleet of little rarepairs! 

Darklina

Darkolai

Dominikolai 

Kazolai

Zoyalina 

Ask me my “TOP 5/TOP 10” anything!

[trashyswitch]

Golden Freddy's Tickly Torment

Cassidy (Golden Freddy) remembers something from her childhood that proves super useful on William. She also finds out some body & Ghost connections and some bodily functions that William now lacks.

This fanfic has implied torture. But, there is a secret that makes the torture a little easier for the reader to handle.

This fanfic prompt was suggested by @trashylever on Tumblr. Link

I hope you enjoy!

Golden Freddy was sitting with William in the closet that he had been locked in for a decade now. Throughout all those years...William suffered at the hands of Golden Freddy. The Golden bear counterpart of Springtrap had been possessed by one of the victims of William’s kill streak: Cassidy. And Cassidy was determined to make William suffer for as many years as she can, so William regrets every second he took killing those innocent kids. While Charlie was looking after all the ghosts and protecting them from the hands of William, Cassidy was busy driving William insane in as many ways as she could…

Right now, Cassidy was doing what she normally did: taking his ear off, and talking some more into the separated ear. She kept on rambling and rambling and rambling...There was never a second of quiet. The only time Cassidy would take a break was to allow William the chance to not drown her out. By the time she stopped talking, William had turned the rambling into mumbling.

But then...it went silent…

Too silent…

...waaaay too-

“Oh yeah! I remember one time I was going to my friend’s house for a play date-”

Aaaaand there it was again. And again...and a-fucking-gain.

“And she wanted me to give her the game boy! But I didn’t wanna stop playing the game! So she decided to tickle me until I let go of it. I managed to last 10 minutes straight before I finally let go! Isn’t that amazing?!” She told him.

“Ugh…” He mumbled.

“I’ll take that as a big, fat, definite yes.” She started poking his arm.

William was about to smack her across the face. That would easily shut her up. It certainly did the trick when-

“Saaay, speaking of tickle-tickle-tickling, were you tickled as a kid?” She asked.

……….Wait what?

“No. Why would I be?” William lied.

“Everyone gets tickled at least once, William. How often were you ever tickled? How ticklish even are you? Did your Mom tickle you? Or your Dad? Or did both of your parent’s tickle you? Did you have an older brother or sister? DId they tickle you? Were you able to fight back? Or did you just take it like a strong boy?” Cassidy kept asking question after question.

William began to grow uncomfortable with what they were talking about now. Everytime she said the word...It gave him butterflies in his stomach. It made him wanna cower. It made him wanna...smile from pure embarrassment.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost...OH! WAIT!” Cassidy joked. “But seriously, you looked scared…” Cassidy admitted. “Are you scared of how long you’ll have to endure this evil, insanity test? Or are you scared the tiiiiickle monster’s gonna getcha?” Cassidy teased.

Oh no...Not that word again...and don’t bring the tickle monster into this…

“Do you know that a tickle monster creeps in this very room?” Cassidy teased, possessing Freddy to move herself onto the Golden animatronic’s kneecaps. Then, Cassidy’s ghost zoomed out of Golden Freddy’s mouth with a big smile on her face. “Did you know this tickle monster is waiting? Waiting for the peeeerrrfect time to strike~! Watching...Observing your every move...Waiting for the day it can slip out of the hiding spot and tickle you until you’re a tomato red blob of giggles!” Cassidy teased.

William was mentally dying at this point. The teasing was killing him suuuper slowly. He knew the tickle monster wasn’t really a thing. He knew the tickle monster was really Cassidy. He knew that really well. And yet...The fact that we was sitting with one of the most vengeful ghosts on the face of the earth, legitimately scared him. With how much she’s been doing already, it’ll be impossible to predict just where she was going with this...

But then William realized something: he can’t actually be tickled! He’s no longer connected to his human body, and animatronics don’t have nerves! So it should make sense!

...Right?

“IIIII wonder...where are the sources of this evil killer’s ticklish spots?” She asked casually. “You gonna tell me? Or do I have to tickle you myself to find out?” She asked evilly.

Wiliam sighed. “You can’t tickle me.” William told her.

“Oh I can’t? Well:” Cassidy possessed Golden Freddy again and flopped the Freddy Fazbear body right onto Springtrap’s.

“AAH! CASSIDY!” William shouted.

She ignored him and started scratching at his ribs with the golden animatronic’s fat, shiny fingers. William’s eyes just about bulged out of his skull as the butterflies in his stomach increased ten fold. “C-CASS-”

“Yeeeeeessss?” Cassidy moved the Golden Freddy thumbs into the pockets of the springlock suit and dug deeply into the hips.

OH NO! SHE COULD ACTUALLY TICKLE HIM! TALK ABOUT UNLUCKY! NOW SHE WAS GONNA USE IT AGAINST HIM! NOOOOO!

William wiggled around as much as he could from under Golden Freddy. He tried to prevent himself from laughing by holding his breath. He even unpossessed the springtrap suit to try and prevent the ticklishness from getting to him. But it still tickled like a son of a gun! Only now, William was wiggling around in ghost form and holding his hip while doubling over.

“Ooooooh! Interesting!” She reacted as she moved veeeery slowly up the ribs.

William desperately tried to tell her to not go there, due to just how ticklish it was when he was alive. But Cassidy ignored his begging words and moved closer and closer to his special little breaking point.

But as Cassidy was reaching a bad spot, William realized something horrific:

With William not possessing the springlock’s limbs, CASSIDY WAS ABLE TO MOVE THEM AROUND AS SHE PLEASED! WITH NO RESISTANCE WHATSOEVER!

“NO! NOOO! CASSY PLEASE!” William pleaded and reached his ghost arms out. “Sorry Mr. Afton…” She smirked with the look of pure devilish evil in her eyes… “But I’m not Cassidy anymore…”

It was then that Cassidy’s hand grabbed William’s hand and lifted the arm out of the way of the vulnerable spot.

“LEHEHET MEHEHEHE GOHOHOHO!” William shrieked as he anticipated ticklish fingers in his terrible armpits.

But...nothing.

Just...Nothing.

William was scared to open his eyes…

He accidentally let out a little chuckle. “C-Cass...what-”

[Let’s see how much pain you can stand.] The Golden Freddy’s voice declared…

then, Cassidy touched down on both armpits and dug deep into them. Every crevasse, every wire, every steel bit in the armpit...was touched and tickled for at least 5 minutes each.

“NOOOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” William finally let out his true, strongest belly laugh he had ever mustered. And it did NOT sound like that fake little fluffy laugh William used while with Cassidy.

This laugh was HEAVY. This laugh was DEEP. This laugh was ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL. It sounded slightly like pathological laughter! It even sounded slightly joker-ish at certain points! It was all over the place too! It was like he had 10 different laughs he was switching to every 8 seconds or so! It was surprising and strangely satisfying.

“STAHAHAHAHAHAP STAHAHAP IHIHIHI’M GOHOHOHONNA DIHIHIHIHIE!” William begged.

Cassidy giggled. “Oh you silly goose! You’re already dead!” Cassidy joked.

All of the memories of people tickling him and reacting to his laugh and ticklish spots came flooding back into his head all at once. From Henry tickling him many times to get his glasses back, to his wife tickling him during her playful moods, to even Michael tickling him as a 9 year old! Would you believe that Henry’s wife even had a chance to tickle the poor guy? Yyyyup! She did, and she never did stop reminding him of it.

Cassidy moved her hands down to the middle to lower ribs to lessen his crazy laughter. William’s laughter turned calmer, and surprisingly adorable rather than concerning. “There! Now you sound a little less insane.” Cassidy told him.

William ignored her and only thanked the lord above for giving him a break.

But the break only lasted a few seconds before Cassidy explored down to his stomach and belly button.

William squeaked and really quickly possessed the animatronic body to move Cassidy off him. But with the tickling weakening him dramatically, he couldn’t do nearly as much as he thought he would be able to do. Cassidy settled for a compromise by laying partly on the springtrap’s side, and partly on the floor. With this decided, Cassidy decided to still attack his tummy.

This caused squeaks and squeals to leave William’s mouth. Then, wouldn’t you believe, giggle-filled laughter quickly filled the closet room. “Ooooooh! A whole new set of laughter! I wonder which one’s your real laughter…” Cassidy poked into the equivalent of William’s belly button…

William screeched and covered up the springtrap mouth. “MM MM! NOWAY!” He warned.

“No way? More like no way you’re getting out of this! So you minus well accept your fate.” Cassidy told him.

William whined as he wiggled around and kicked the empty air.

“Ooooh! Should I be going for those kicking feet of yours?” She asked.

OH NO…

He shook his head.

“Or perhaps I should go for your neck~” She asked.

William looked down and whimpered. His feet were way too ticklish, but his neck was the most embarrassing ticklish spot out of all of them! It made him all blushy, made him giggle and snort, and if he were a cat, he would most definitely purr. Even as a human, it made him dissolve into a puddle of giggles and titters.

Cassidy brought her hands towards the neck and wiggled them eagerly. “Kitchy kitchy kooo~” She teased.

William quickly decided to unpossess the animatronic suit. As much as he appreciated the feeling of moving the physical limbs around, William knew he’d need to move around and wiggle more the moment his neck was tickled even the slightest. So, he did just that and covered his ghost mouth.

“Oooooh! I see the murderer decided to finally come out of his shell! What a nice surprise!” Cassidy teased. It was then that she finally touched down onto his neck.

William squealed and rolled left and right as he floated in the air. His ghost had curled into the fetal position and his laughter was another octave higher. It sounded more like squeaky giggles rather than actual laughter. William definitely had a large variety of laughter that came with the man. No wonder everyone wanted to tickle him! They wanted to slightly gamble their trust away to see what type of laughter they could get out of William that day!

It didn’t take long for William to start snorting and covering up his mouth. Even Cassidy had to admit: He was kinda cute like this. Not love kinda cute, but definitely toddler kinda cute. He had that sort of vibe to him when he was tickled.

Cass actually had to remind herself for a second that William was a child killer and a manipulator. It was the strangest thing.

William’s laughter had begun to sound tiring. He sounded too mentally tired to really keep laughing, even though his body was forcing him to.

So, Cass enjoyed it for a few minutes. She found it interesting that William could be left in such a weak state through such a silly strategy. But, it worked and that’s all that mattered to Cassidy.

The animatronic slowed its fingers down and removed them from William’s neck. William breathed heavily and deeply to try and calm down. Though, Cassidy found this strange. His lungs should be a different scenario thanks to his ghost form and possessed state. William being able to be tickled and touched made sense. But lung capacity as a ghost? That didn’t make sense at all.

Was William faking it?

Cassidy decided to try something out to answer her question. She moved her fingers to William’s armpits and smirked. If he was really this tired, his laughter will be breathy, whiny, and weak.

Cassidy touched down-

“OHOHOHOHOHO NOHOHOHOHOHO! CAHAHAHAHASS COHOHOHOME OHOHOHOHON!” William screamed.

There’s your answer! He was definitely faking!

“Such a liar. You weren’t really getting tired...You were just trying to get me to sympathize with you and stop!” Cass called him out. “Now quit being a lying baby and act like a man!” Cassidy dug her fingers deeper into William’s armpit.

William SCREAMED and completely lost all his composure at this point. He couldn’t hide anything with his tickles being this strong! It was like trying to hide a huge, bright flamingo in the middle of a bedroom. EVERYONE’S EYES WILL GRAVITATE TOWARDS IT!

“There we go! Look at you being so brave and strong! Doesn’t it feel good?” Cassidy asked.

William shook his head.

“Is this really too much for you to handle? Would you like me to stop?” She asked.

“PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE! STAHAHAHAHAHA!” William’s laughter was all over the place and not even close to going silent.

It was this observation that fully confirmed Cassidy’s suspicions:

William has no lung capacity anymore.

“Hmmm…” Cassidy thought for a moment and stopped her fingers. William’s laughter lessened dramatically as he breathed...rather calmly for being tickled for potentially hours. Being in the closet meant that they both had no clue what time it was or how far along the years had gone.

William, with his newfound strength, pushed Cassidy off him. He was angry that Cassidy had brought him down to such a ‘weak’ state. How dared she make him laugh like that! How dare she figure out his tricks! And how dare she tickle him beyond the average human limits! It was a good thing he didn’t really have much lung capacity anymore! Or else he would be passed out cold from all the loss of oxygen.

Cassidy smiled and sat in silence for a few minutes as she processed the ticklish laughter. Then, she clicked a button on the Golden Freddy suit and giggled as recordings of William’s laughter and giggles filled the room.

Oh no she didn’t…

She recorded ALL OF IT?!

William growled and tackled his golden counterpart to the ground.

“HOW DARE YOU-” William yelped and lowered his face as his belly button was poked and tickled.

“Nice try, Mr. Will…but you should know something very important:” Cassidy’s voice changed to the animatronic’s voice...and the animatronic’s eyes glowed as she began to say the words:

[I always get the last laugh…]

The last thing William heard was a deep chuckle...

Does this fact about William (No lung capacity = no need for breaks) make the torment a little easier to handle? Let me know! I'm trying to find ways to not really go down the road of tickle torture unless it's fully justified.

[quinintheclouds]

Thoughts on Putting Others First: SvS Redux as they come to me

AN HOUR LONG?!?!?! Y E S THANK YOU

I am LOVING this opening art style. The way it shows all the things Thomas could say and shuts them each down, the silliness tying in perfectly to the video game setting, the way we could SO STRONGLY empathize with Thomas despite him not saying anything. Well done!

“Eff friends, Patton!” Patton and I made the exact same gasp and noise at the same time in reaction to that dsjfhljdhg

Lookit Thomas’ lil vest awww <3

ROMAN WITH THE PUNS I LOVE IT APPRECIATE HIM

rhymes

rhymes

they’re rhyming is this gonna be

A SONG!!!

(Logan off somewhere watching all of this: “You guys are doing a RAP? Without ME? .....Unacceptable”)

Seriously poor Logan being left out BOTH TIMES despite clearly having excellent points on the matter

But I’m loving this Patton/Roman dynamic being explored in this way. They have a lotta similarities but the differences are really standing OUT so far and I like it! Also it looks like Roman isn’t gonna just shut up and do whatever Patton says out of fear that he’s a bad person/bad for Thomas this time. I’m glad they’re both getting a chance to talk cause they aren’t exactly taken seriously a lot of the time.

RETURN OF THE BLINDFOLD METAPHOR followed by Roman saying “in Patton’s defense...” so they like, KNOW what Deceit meant about the blindfold? Were they playing dumb? Or do they just suddenly get it now that it’s coming from Thomas?

Ok this Feral Cat Story of Roman’s is too specific for me to dismiss and now I’m convinced either Remus brought a shitton of cats home one day and they just flooded their house/rooms, or Patton brought home a bunch of cats out of love and didn’t realize he couldn’t take care of em...either way that’s an adorable anecdote

The car jump line that Patton took literally is just making me miss Logan even more :(

I’m glad they’re giving context to the relationship between Thomas and Mary Lee & Lee! A lot of fander questions and opinions circled back to “well it depends how close they were” so it was smart of them to fill us in.

“those baby-makin’ catholics”

6:45 Patton has clearly thought through a lot of possible outcomes to talking to Lee and Mary Lee before going to the wedding... he never brought them up, even when Roman did and then Deceit did. But he’s bringing up points no one had addressed, and I think that’s a great way to put more intensity to Patton’s apology to Thomas for lying back in SvS pt 1. He hid a lot more than he let on. Man, how much guilt is this poor man feeling right now? :(

“Talking about it could have been harmful” I’m very intrigued by the parallels between Patton wanting to keep things from Thomas’ friends to protect their feelings in this episode and SvS, and Deceit disguised as Patton in CLBG trying to get Thomas to... keep things from his friend to protect their feelings...

WOAH “But was it worth it? I don’t--” “No.” Thomas cutting Roman off with that much certainty DAMN Thomas REGRETS going to the wedding HARD and also is agreeing with Roman finally??

Patton: “sometimes you can make all the good choices, and still not get the good ending.” Thomas: “I’m not even sure there was a good ending to get.” Roman: “Mmmm, I’m pretty sure there was.” There is so much to unpack here oh my gosh.

WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT??? DAMN THOMAS CAME FOR PATTON WHAT ON EARTH??? Patton: “I think we can all agree that you are a good fellow.” Thomas: Can we? ALL? Agree on that?” Patton: *sputtering noises*

Poor Patton... I mean they’re right but gosh I feel for him. He wants so badly for Thomas to be a good person and he realizes now how strict and unyielding he’s been, and wants to not do that but doesn’t know how to be more lenient without sacrificing integrity cause that’s his JOB and he doesn’t know how to do it better aaaa this is such a mood

MUSIC IS THERE ANOTHER SONG COMING?

Return of the bagel. Except this time it’s Roman guessing/wanting the bagel and Patton being like “what? no?”

ok not a song but video game style is back!!

“ugh you’re such a dad” I love it

Patton just made more puns and Roman omg “Like, you’re SUCH a dad that like it’s too much to handle sometimes”

I am loving this whole scene jdfhjadshg Patton ily and I relate

Thomas and Roman teaching Patton how to come up with imaginary scenarios skjfklsjdfh

Sondheim wrecking Leslie Odom Jr is such a hilarious visual

Ok all three of them are peak dumbass and I’m so here for it (like they’re smart and all but they’re peak dumbass)

Daaaamn Patton is letting out so much this episode. Like he’s been holding back but wowie. R: “Just like how you didn’t HAVE to give him a hotdog” P: *sucks air through his teeth* “I feel like you kinda do though?” YES PLEASE let’s discuss the concept of obligation in morality again!!! Where’s Logan when you need him? Or Deceit even? (I feel like D’s gonna show up later but I wanna hear Logan’s thoughts this time too)

Patton: You can disagree! But... it’d kinda be wrong?

LOGAN POPUP! Ok fine if he isn’t in the ep at least he pops up in a lil dialogue box on screen. Also he popped up to support Patton... neat!

“It’s just me, Logan. I’ve taken this form because I didn’t want to be too...invasive.” POOR LOGAN NO YOU’RE NOT INVADING ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE HERE! Also Roman getting scared by the popup while Patton just waves happily like he always does upon seeing Logan aww

Okay I am getting serious DOPAMINE from Logan talking. Like, he’s spittin’ FACTS. Something about the way he talks is so interesting and soothing and makes me so excited to LEARN. Roman mockingly mouthing ‘behoove’ had me snort though XD

LOGAN AND I WERE IN UNISON HELL YEAH! Patton was all like ooh you’re sharing your lil factoids! And Logan and I at the same time corrected, “Facts,” and proceeded to state the definition of factoids (we worded it differently but yeah as usual Logan is on my wavelength)

Logan’s sprite getting so disappointed at Thomas’ interruption joke jgdkjghks he looks so DONE

OML I LOVE LOGAN’S DIALOGUE BOX TALKING TOO FAST FOR THEM TO READ THIS IS SO ACCURATE

Oof Thomas finally feeling like he GETS it and Patton being like yeah but not if you’re doing it bc you want to feel  good tho... (also that’s the same argument Deceit made in SvS pt1??? I’m confused by Patton/Deceit’s functions lately and I’m very invested)

Oh ok Thomas just brought up that very point haha

“we all agreed the right thing to do was go to the wedding” um are u sure about that

“I was wrong” PATTON CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?? I know Logan has the reputation of not being able to admit when he’s wrong (which isn’t true -- he doesn’t like to but he has done so countless times...well not literally countless but you understand my meaning), but Patton rarely is in a situation where he has to, so this is jarring in a hopefully good way. Istg if this is Deceit disguised as Patton again I’ll be so disappointed... I feel like the writers wouldn’t do that though

Patton: says smth deceit said. Roman: and you...agree? Patton: Definitely! I mean uh maybe? (WHAT IS HAPPENING INSIDE PATTON’S HEAD RN SO MUCH TURMOIL)

Roman: “I’m not an expert in the... moral medium” Thomas:  “Go ahead Roman, we wanna hear what you have to say.”  Patton: *halfhearted gestures and noises for roman to go ahead* jashfjdh he’s trying so hard

AWWWW they’re validating Roman so much I love it

“whomstsoever” ok I take it back roman’s not valid

I adore Logan’s popup fun facts, and him giving definitions for Roman’s vocabulary reminds me how much the two of them love writing and poetry and language aaaa

Patton trying not to be harsh is somehow 10x harsher than he normally is

oh wow that got real.

I know I’ve said this but I love logan’s insertions... but I do wish he got to say them out loud like earlier :/ Pausing to read them is less fun than hearing him talk.

oh wow that got real part 2

I want. So badly. To jump into this video and debate Patton on the nature of morality and what “the right thing is.” Roman you’re not being dumb, you’re bringing up excellent points and you’re valid again.

Oh no Patton... empathy is not morality... please please address that there are people who can’t experience empathy and choose to be moral and good

THE  TROLLEY PROBLEM HERE! WE! GO!

Logan’s popups bc he doesn’t want to “be too invasive” and making them optional to read hurts my heart :( He knows Patton, Roman, and Thomas aren’t reading any of it but he doesn’t want to be too much so he stays silent. Why?? Logan it’s okay! Why is this a thing now but not in the last 2 episodes? What happened to Logan :(

OOOOOOH Patton didn’t flip the switch :o Interesting! Daaaamn he’s arguing to let 5 people die rather than flip the switch so only one dies

LOGAN’S TEXTBOX WAS SO BIG AND FAST IT KNOCKED PATTON OVER I CANNOT BREATHE hang on I gotta read it

HE’S TALKING ABOUT DEONTOLOGY YES LOGAN THANK YOU FOR TELLING PATTON WHAT I PHYSICALLY CANNOT please tell me you’ll talk about utilitarianism and moral particularism next

Okay he used consequentialism but it’s close enough to utilitarianism that the outcome is the same. (Do you get it? Do you like my joke about how the outcome is most important? When we’re talking about-- oh you got it already? Good, moving on.)

DID ROMAN JUST FJCKING KILL LOGAN

“I’m okay, figment of your imagination, so.” Okay so CAN the Sides get hurt or can’t they?? Cause Patton clearly got bonked, roman got hit in the eye with paper and said ow, but logan got hit in the head with a throwing star and had his teeth ripped out and he was totally fine?

 Thomas is being so HONEST with himself so early in the episode, wow this is refreshing and I’m hype

AW YAY Patton called textbox Logan in to help with philosophy yay :’)

Logan: “Pity seems to be at the center of your idea of ‘putting good into the world’” first, Logan doing a voice impression of Nietzsche is GOLD, and second.... I wish they’d let him finish cause I was waiting for a “but” cause Logan siding with Nietzsche on this one feels... wrong? Like I could see Dee bringing it up or Logan using it in an argument only to continue with a contradicting philosophy but Logan equating empathy to pity... idk I thought he’d grown more than to think that :/ Actually I don’t think he ever saw it that way. It feels out of character but I’m guessing he had more to say to debunk that.

HOLY SHIT PATTON SKIPPED ALL THE REST OF LOGAN’S DIALOGUE AND YEETED HIM OFF THE SCREEN bruh he may have been right and he should’ve gotten to say it >:(

ROMAN ISTG DO NOT TRY AND MAKE THIS YOUR FAULT

I SAID DON’T

GODDAMMIT

sjfkdjgjsh okay aww Thomas good job, Patton too. Thank god they’re being nice to him

Patton is having a breakdown holy heckity about time

damn Patton is freaking HARSH

“I have a difference in opinion on this one, Patton” Thomas: *relieved sigh whisper* “ohhh thank you, Logan” YES APPRECIATE THE BOY YES YES I LOVE HIM why are they looking around like he isn’t making sense?

LOGAN YES! CALL HIM OUT! LET THOMAS VALUE HIMSELF AND PUT HIMSELF FIRST SOMETIMES! “Every point you’ve made in today’s discussion has contradicted that sentiment.” I love you but also you sound a lil like deceit... very lawyer-y and feels calculated like he’s been keeping notes for this purpose... I want deceit and logan to debate already damn it. Maybe it’s just that Logan’s inflections feel reminiscent of Deceit to show...something?

Ok can I just say that Logan gets so much rep for his strictness or high standards but he’s been SO GOOD about that lately and him teaching about the importance of leisure and self-care and freedom in your life and self-esteem and valuing yourself like you do with others... not even just this  video -- he’s been like this in the last few as well and these recent episodes remind me of early Logan (esp My Negative Emotions)  and that makes my heart so so happy.

Continuation of the above, compare this to how Logan acted in Why Bed? with regards to Roman. Roman advocated for leisure time and following dreams, while Logan had a schedule that optimized productivity and health. Now he’s taking a similar stance to Roman and asserting the importance of these things... WHY is so much of Logan’s character development OFFSCREEN?? I wanna know what made him switch on this! Maybe just cause he’s listening to roman from why bed?

Why is Logan being so abrasive? He sounds like his intent is more to disprove Patton rather than state what he actually thinks... not a fan of that but he’s not wrong

WOAH WOAH TOTAL PATTON BREAKDOWN WHAT HAPPENED WHAT THE FCK HE’S A LITERAL MONSTER IN THIS VIDEO GAME?

OH, MY GOD. If Logan didn’t step in and save them here this would have been catastrophic. I can feel my relief. I mean, he screamed, but it was a relief. WAIT IT WAS DECEIT THE WHOLE TIME??? Daaaamn good job on this one Deceit and I definitely like him more now but also WHERE IS LOGAN. Was it the whole time? That makes sense in hindsight and makes me feel better about some things he’s brought up but I feel like it really was Logan at the start, it wasn’t until he started calling out patton that his voice and inflection and stuff changed

Patton trying to attack Deceit   and hitting Thomas instead was  an EXCELLENT way to  showcase the effect SvS 1 and 2 are having

Deceit’s lil “A DUH DUH DUH DOY” looked and sounded just like Logan’s lmao don’t tell me it’s another switcheroo (I doubt it greatly lol)

REAL LOGAN REAL LOGAN REAL LOGAN

So wait what was the point that Deceit switched with Logan? Cause Logan’s saying “one more fact” so he was himself earlier right?

“Not that any of you care, but  I am unharmed.” Nooooo they care </3 “I will do you all a favor and spare you my company” okay OUCH

EFFECTIVE ALTRUISM YES aw he’s talking about him and patton working together yes thank you

Damn, Deceit is LOVING everything Logan says haha same

Logan and Deceit teaming up to teach Patton that it’s okay to care about yourself

DECEIT WHAT he’s being so supportive of Roman holy heck this is so genuine OH Roman’s arguing with it  this is a lot of stuff I didn’t expect roman to say out loud wow

THOMAS JUST SAID DECEIT THE CHARACTER ISN’T INHERENTLY UNETHICAL WOW this episode really said let’s make Deceit--

WAIT WOAH SORRY HIS NAME REVEAL!!! He’s Janice?? Is that true?

WAIT WOAH PART 2 BUT DECEIT JUST SAID IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE MUSTACHE HE WOULDN’T KNOW WHO THE EVIL TWIN IS BETWEEN ROMAN AND REMUS HOLY SHIT HE ACTUALLY LOOKED VULNERABLE AND THEN HURT AND THEN RIGHT BACK TO SNAKE

ROMAN’S GONE

fuck.... patton...roman....deceit....thomas....logan....I’m gonna go cry about all of them now

LESLIE ODOM JR IS HERE??????? oh there he goes

patton oh my god I love you  this ANGST are you trying to kill me?

Patton telling thomas he’s worthy of love I actually teared up

dfjdakjhfa deceit don’t push it

Wowie that was an EPISODE

[neeterloveschenford]

Thoughts on RNM 2x07

Well, here we go again. Another episode and this one was an up and down one for me. I think part of me is still tentative to really let myself get caught up again, because of last week. But I am trying to let the upsets of last week’s episode go and just focus on the future. Let’s see how I do.

Things I liked:

Rosa’s training was great. I loved her digs at Isobel. Her going off on Max was superb. 

She has every right to go off on him for “haunting” her the way he did. Rosa’s my boo and I just love her so much.

Wow. Mama Ortecho was a real piece of work!

Isobel’s excitement over exploring her sexuality. She’s so adorable when she’s happy and excited! Loved the bisexual sibling bonding.

I’m very interested in Max’s memory of being chained up as a child. I can’t wait to find out more about them before the crash. Glad Isobel is getting on board with learning more.

Friends with Benefits indeed.

Okay, as much as I dislike Maria, I do want to know more about her abilities.

Sub Max is a thing apparently.

I like that Michael and Kyle are almost friends now.

Rosa’s spiral. My poor boo! Sadly, family is the thing that can bring out the worst in us.

I want more Rosa and Isobel. Their friendship is special and I love it. They can truth bomb each other like no one else.

Maria bought the pony. Interesting.

Liz standing up to her mom and calling her on her bs was a thing of beauty. One of the hardest things you can do is stand up to a loved one. You go Liz.

Arturo is the best dad ever. I still want him to adopt me.

Max getting that ring back was the hottest thing Max has done to date. He usually annoys me, but I actually swooned when he put Helena in her place and got that ring back.

Michael saving Kyle because of Maria’s vision brought us to half naked Kyle. The only thing Maria’s done right in awhile.

I want to know more about the supersoldiers.

I love the Ortecho sisters together. 

Abs. All I can say is abs. 

Where is My Mind. OMG THEY PLAYED WHERE IS MY MIND!!!!! One of my absolute faves.

Things I didn’t like:

No Malex.

No Alex.

Miluca. Ewwwww just ewwwww.

Wow. Mama Ortecho was a real piece of work. (yes, I know I liked this too.)

Helena dissing Michelle. Don’t dis my sheriff lady.

Steph is sooooo boring.

Wasn’t Maria awful smug? Not doing anything to make me change my mind about her. 

What did you expect Max? Sheriff Valenti to welcome you back with open arms? He’s very much a doofus.

Max not paying attention to Isobel when she was talking about her night out. He really is very self-absorbed sometimes.

Did I mention no Malex or Alex? 

Miluca. Ewwwww just ewwwww.

Random thoughts and speculations:

So is Steph even real? Is Kyle losing his mind? Is this something that happened to him at Caulfield? Is this something Jesse or Flint did to him as payback? So many questions.

I wonder how Rosa’s new powers will mix with oxy. Will it make her more powerful, more aggressive, or less able to control them? Enquiring minds want to know.

So maybe instead of Dark Max we are getting Dark Maria. It just struck me as a little weird how she immediately went to I have superpowers after she helped save Kyle.  I think that the necklace wasn’t to protect her from the evil of others. Maybe it was to protect her from the evil within. Could be why she felt it was a good idea to manipulate Alex and Michael like she did last episode. She needs the necklace to keep herself from becoming like Noah. Ooooooh! I like that. I remember being intrigued last season when it was hinted briefly that she was the fourth alien. I think it would be very Carina-like to take a beloved character like OG Maria and turn her into a villian. (Or maybe I just need Maria to be the villain because I’m still having a hard time with her nonsense from last week.)

So there you have it. Another week, another review. Like I said, it had some good moments, but they weren’t huge moments. And until this Miluca mess ends, I’ll probably be throwing out some more ewwwww’s. I’m looking forward to seeing Alex and Forrest go on their date. I can’t wait to see a little jealousy from Michael. And I really want Alex to call him out for it.  Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful week. If you are in a state like mine that is opening back up (Lord, help us all), remember to stay safe. Take care of yourself my lovelies!!

[dyke-fruit]

2, 13, 24, 26 🤠 and a question not on the list but ive always wanted to get into writing but i feel like no matter how much i “practice” i end up falling into the same tropes and patterns and mistakes and i never seem to improve... so in your opinion, is writing something you can work on till you’re a pro or do you need innate talent in order to be really successful?

yesss anon

2. what am i tired of seeing/what do i avoid?

men 😪 no i mean i think when your thing is known for something, drifting away from that can be not great. good ex: killing eve giving more time to side characters when its About villaneve. i try to make my things about Something and everything within it relates to that something.

13. what traits do i share with my ocs?

ooooooh! queerness, for one. but i have sooo many at this point, so i’ll sidestep this answer a bit. i’ve only recently felt comfortable examining my own trauma through writing, so my main in my lifeguards wip has the same traumas i do and is dealing with that in a way i never had the chance to. so exploring that has been very fun and interesting!

24. do i let the story evolve or do i plan?

i’m 100% a planner. i need everything to work before i start, and then know what the point of every piece is. that being said, i DO let things change if they need to. i’ve changed an entire idea halfway thru a draft just bc i figured out a better way to do it — and entirely rewriting a 60 page pilot in the last two weeks of school is fun! haha

26. how to improve as a writer?

i’m gonna merge this answer with your additional question — i think it’s genuinely hard to see your own improvement as a writer from your own eyes. i’ve been writing regularly for the past six years (that’s when i posted my first fanfic, disregarding failed attempts before that). i would like to think i view everything through a writer’s lens — i’m constantly hunting for story and thinking of new and cool ways to look at what i’m currently working on. my main piece of advice would be — keep writing.

i have the benefit of being in a very vigorous writing program for the past four years, but here’s what i’ve learned: once you get over that “i hate every word i’m putting down rn,” it gets LOADS easier. every word you write is one step closer to getting better. every attempt at a story, every attempt at a fanfic or whatever. you’re getting better constantly. imagining AUs? that’s thinking about story. thinking of random ocs? that’s writing. if you’re falling into the same tropes and patterns — challenge yourself to write a different trope you don’t use. the very fact that you can recognize what you’re doing means you can work on it. i genuinely believe everyone can be an expert or a pro at anything if they work hard. yes, there are people who are born with an innate talent to adapt to things, like with music or writing or art or sports. BUT that doesn’t mean people who aren’t are lesser. there are loads of pro sports players who have the PERFECT bodies for their sports, and loads who don’t. i SUCK at learning languages, but if i worked on language learning every single day for the rest of my life, there’s no way i’m NOT gonna learn the language.

it’s easy to say “don’t be hard on yourself,” but once you can get past it, it’s a dream. i’m in the same place i believe as you are with art. over shutdown, i’ve forced myself to draw and paint more, but with that comes extreme disappointment. i keep drawing heads the same (wrong) way. how do i learn? i look up tutorials, i try new things. you can do the same. try writing an AU you’ve never thought about, or in a different pov. (also if u wanna come off anon and discuss the exact problems you’re having, i am SO DOWN. i love talking about writing and helping others.) but the true answer for “how do i get better at art?” is to draw more. sometimes i really, really don’t want to. so i don’t. but ik and recognize that’s why i’m not getting better (and i am clowning myself).

[crazyinthebestway]

Don’t Say I Never Got Ya Anythin’ 😏

Just a little short fanfic based off of the sexy Mitsuhide Akechi and his insane Blaise Monroe. 

This is a dystopian future setting! Enjoy

The Green. 🌳 A place that may sound like paradise 🌴 for most outsiders, but it’s really kinda a scary-ass conglomeration of hybrid animals 🦖🦎, flesh-eatin’ plants 🌿🍴, toxic air 🔥🌪☣️, and so much more that I ain’t even ever had the pleasure of discoverin’ yet. Oh but don’t ya worry your pretty lil head none, I’ll be sure to get in there and explore them all 🕵️‍♀️😉…eventually.

For now, I’m happy just trottin’ along in this crazy zone…was it one 🤔? Two? Eh, I don’t know what number it is 🤷‍♀️, all I’m thinkin’ about is where the nearest hollowed out tree trunk is so I can shove this guy here inside it and get to kissin’. 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

Heh…😏 can’t help it, have ya seen this guy? Silver fox is puttin’ it mildly. 😋🤤

Anywho, gotta put a pin in that thought for now 📌. I see somethin’ cool up ahead 👀 that suddenly takes all my attention. I release Sly’s hand and go runnin’, “Be back in a sec, sexy! 😉 Don’t go gettin’ yourself all lost and shiz.”

While Blaise is off doing her own thing, Mitsuhide watches with a unique sort of fondness in his gaze that’s only reserved for her—and not just her perfectly sculpted backside, either.

The girl came out of nowhere. A whirlwind, a force of nature that struck him like a semi-truck and then stuck to him like a fungus. Don’t let that…interesting set of metaphors fool you. The man is in love, whether he’ll ever openly admit it or not.

Long, elegant fingers, calloused and weathered over the many years of twiddling in this dystopian future reach out to stroke the surprisingly smooth bark of a nearby tree. The enormous structure seems to hum under his touch, and citrine eyes slide up its trunk.

A tangle of gnarled limbs, host to a series of multicolored leaves and blooming blossoms dangle precariously overhead. Its twitching is an indicator of…something. He’d need to check in with their resident herbologist to get an idea for what that might mean, or he could simply continue to…poke.

Ooooooh what’s that? 🤩😯 And that? Oh! 🤩😯 There’s a tall prickly, red-n-yellow, thorny lookin’ thing. 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 Wonder if Briar knows that that’s called…. “I’m gonna call ya Pokey! 😍☝️ Yep, don’t care what you’re really called, you are now Pokey!” I kneel down and run my finger across the red petals and, 🤩😯 wouldn’t ya know it, the thing kinda sang at me! 😍🌺🎤 And curled up all tight…hmm…”Ha ha!!” 🤣🤣🤣

As I’m down on my knees lookin’ at Pokey, I hear some kinda hissin’ sound. It’s interestin’, kinda like an angry cat 😾 that’s been knockin’ back a few too many alcoholic beverages. 🍻🥃

My eyes drift to the left and I see a series of lil snappy things lookin’ at me! Yes, they were actually lookin’ 👀 👀  at me and HISSIN’!! Ha ha ha ha! 🤣🤣🤣

“Look at you, 🤩 tryin’ to be all tough and shiz. You are just tooooo cewt 😍😍😍😍!!” I get my nose all up in there and they snap! 😯 It misses my nose by a centimeter, no! a millimeter! 🤣🤣🤣 And I’m cacklin’ like a loon. 

I’m totally takin’ these home with me. So I get to diggin’ em up by the roots. I know not to cut em, ☝️ doing that would kill the little buggers, and that ain’t what I want. I want to take em home and…ha! Leave em on my sister’s nightstand!! 🤣

Or… 🤔 🤔 🤔

I tap my finger on my chin and glance over my shoulder. Sly may just enjoy havin’ a lil somethin’ 😏 from me, yeah? I could at least tease him about it anyway…😋😋

Now that I’ve got my bunch o’ hissin’, snappin’, plants in my hand, I saunter my butt back towards my one and only, “Hey Sly, don’t say I never got ya anythin’ okay?” Ha ha! 🤣🤣

He turns to look at me with those ooooh-so-sexy eyes and I instantly know he thinks I’ve truly gone off my rocker this time. I bounce on the balls of my feet as I hold the bouquet out to him, 😁😁😁 a face-splitting grin ready for him and everythin’,” 

“Babe, look at these frickin’ awesome flower-teeth-things! Are these cool or what?! 😁💗💗💗💗💗💗

Silvery eyebrows raise skeptically, but he can’t keep the look of adoration out of his eyes while thinking she’s the cutest idiot ever, "Those are flesh-eating veloscipods. INFANT flesh-eating veloscipods, to be precise. Do you hear that angry screeching coming our way? That’s their mother, darling. I suggest you put down the monstrous bouquet and run. Now.”

Commission by Anastasia-Berry

https://www.deviantart.com/anastasia-berry

[preservationandruin]

Words of Radiance Part Five Part One

We’re in the home stretch! Let’s do this thing!

Dalinar sets off on his expedition, Amaram gets FUCKING OWNED, I proceed to go off on a fucking rant because Amaram talked about honor one time too many, Shallan outs herself and Jasnah as Radiants, Rlain comes back, Elhokar’s Incompetence Rant pt.1, the Parshendi start singing a very ominous song, I’m gay for Radiants ,and Kaladin has a revelation. 

This part is titled Winds Alight and we have the points of view of basically everyone--Kaladin, Shallan, Dalinar, Adolin, and Wit. Let’s get this show on the road, gang!

Our epigraphs here are from the Diagram, which is interesting.

Kaladin is beating himself up for killing Syl, which, good. He deserves that. He also is getting toward the Weeping, which is awful for him--it’s when his Seasonal Affective Disorder kicks in hardcore. He gets Lopen and they go to watch the army leave. Lopen suggests that to get Syl back he buy her something nice, which is just so...Lopen. I love him.

Kaladin also realizes Dalinar’s force is what he always dreamed of following into battle. It’s the army he fantasized about as a child. And Sebarial, of all people, has joined Dalinar into the fight.

Hell. Yes.

And ooooooh loooook, Amaram is coming in his fancy gold knight radiant cloak with his fancy shardblade and fancy armor and yes I am still and will always be bitter as fuck about Amaram in general. Amaram is like oooOOOOOOooooo we should SEND SEBARIAL AWAY he’s UNTRUSTWORTHY and wow pot, kettle, black??

And of course, Aladar comes too. Meanwhile, Ialai points out that she and Sadeas could have a coup. Sadeas literally would--he would kill Elhokar just for fucking power. He just doesn’t think he has to.

God, he’s a waste of investiture.

Also, Ialai is the one who had an assassin with the bridges--it’s her fault that Kaladin and Shallan pitched into the chasm. Which let Shallan figure out where the Oathgate was.

NICE GOING IALAI.

Anyway, Aladar was one of Sadeas’ biggest supporters. And he finally can’t convince himself to support Sadeas when Dalinar is out there doing the right thing. Aladar and Dalinar even have a moment where Aladar is like listen, you know I’m not some shining knight, I have blood on your hands, and Dalinar’s like, well, I’m not either, but we’re what we’ve got.

Amaram is like ooOOOOoooOOOO it would be SO COOL if we could WIN THIS ALL ON OUR OWN we shoudn’t WORK TOGETHER DAL and Dalinar’s like, that’s bullshit. And then he sees Kaladin and asks Amaram to come with him.

God, the first time I read this I was entirely made out of anxiety.

Anyway, Kaladin is seeing the men off, and they’re yelling at him for walking around on a badly injured leg.

“I thought,” Kaladin noted, “That I was your commander.” “Nah, can’t be,” Teft said, “because our commander would be smart enough to stay in bed.” “And eat much stew,” Rock said. “I left you stew to eat while I am gone.”

I LOVE BRIDGE FOUR

Also they see Dalinar coming and Rock is like wow now you’re definitely screwed. Also I would like to note that all of bridge four doesn’t trust Amaram.

Also, Moash was left to guard the King, and Kaladin nearly dies upon realizing that. And then we get the exchange that causes my soul to ascend from this mortal plain.

“Amaram,” Dalinar said, waving for the highlord to step up. “You told me that you’d never seen this man before arriving here on the Shattered Plains. Is that true?” Kaladin met the eyes of a murderer. “Yes,” Amaram said. “What of his claim that you took his Blade and Plate from him?” Dalinar asked. “Brightlord,” Amaram said, taking Dalinar by the arm, “[insert bullshit sanctimony that I don’t want to type out] But his allegations regarding me are obviously preposterous.” Dalinar nodded to himself, as if this were all expected. “I believe an apology is due.” Kaladin struggled to remain upright, his leg feeling weak. So this would be his final punishment. Apologizing to Amaram in public. A humiliation beyond all others. “I--” Kaladin began.” “Not you, son,” Dalinar said softly.

Not you, son. Not you, son. Not you, son.

Not you, son.

I shit you not, the first time I read that I yelled aloud in the middle of class. This is the single most evocative sentence in the book for me--and it’s three words. But it flips your perception of what Dalinar’s been doing on it’s head, cuts through the building anxiety like a knife, and fuCKS UP AMARAM ROYALLY.

Dalinar had been laying an intricate trap for Amaram that required him to be a cheating, lying backstabbing son of a bitch--and Amaram, being a cheating lying backstabbing son of a bitch, fell for it completely. Dalinar is trusting.

That doesn’t mean he’s stupid.

“Sometimes good men must die so that greater goals must be accomplished.” THAT’S THE BULLSHIT THAT YOU ALL ARE PULLING, ISN’T IT, AMARAM. SONS OF HONOR MY FUCKING ASS. YOU DON’T KNOW HONOR FROM YOUR OWN SHIT. STOP SPITTING SANCTIMONY, YOU MURDERER. YOU DON’T EVEN FUCKING REGRET IT. YOU THINK YOU’RE THE SECOND COMING OF SOME FUCKING HERO WHEN YOU’RE JUST A CRAVEN, POWER-GRUBBING BASTARD WHO CAN’T POSSIBLY COMPREHEND THAT A SLAVE MIGHT BE MORE IMPORTANT IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS THAN YOU ARE. I WANT CULTIVATION TO LEARN THAT YOU’RE USING THE NAME OF HER DEAD PARTNER TO CONDONE CRAVEN, DISHONORABLE, CORRUPT BULLSHIT AND I WANT HER TO TEAR YOU APART. BETTER YET, I WANT YOU TO DIE KNOWING FOREVER THAT KALADIN IS MORE CRUCIAL TO THE SALVATION OF ROSHAR THAN YOU ARE, AND THAT THE HERALDS ABANDONED YOU. HONOR IS DEAD, AMARAM. HONOR IS DEAD AND YOU DO NOTHING.

SOMEONE WHO KNEW WHAT HONOR WAS WOULDN’T HAVE KILLED KALADIN’S MEN. SOMEONE WHO KNEW WHAT HONOR WAS WOULDN’T HAVE LIED. SOMEONE WHO KNEW WHAT HONOR WAS WOULDN’T HAVE WATCHED WHILE SADEAS TRIED TO CRIPPLE ADOLIN AND RENARIN. SOMEONE WHO KNEW WHAT HONOR WAS WOULDN’T STEAL AND KILL FOR HIS OWN PERSONAL POWER.

YOU CAN’T SAY SHIT ABOUT HONOR, MERIDAS AMARAM. YOU AREN’T WORTHY TO EVEN TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE CLEARLY, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS.

um. anyway. the plot. that thing. I should probably get back to it.

“Thank you,” Kaladin said to Dalinar, “For believing me.” “I do listen sometimes, soldier,” Dalinar said. “Now go back to camp and get some rest.”

GOOD DAD, BEST DAD.

Also, Dalinar notes that holding a Shardblade feels wrong to him. Those Radiant Senses are tingling.

The Diagram notes that Szeth could possibly put extra strain on people who are exploring the Nahel bond, and lead to them becoming Radiants sooner. Which kind of happens, but not in the exact way they think--it’s keeping Kaladin away from Dalinar--and near Elhokar--that causes the problem.

Whoops.

Shallan and Adolin are flirting, by which I mean Adolin is teasing her for having a slow horse and she’s threatening to remove his toes.

There are further hints of a burgeoning love triangle that I am deliberately ignoring because I refuse to even think about that happening. No. Don’t you dare, Brandon. And Shallan finally actually gets a copy of Words of Radiance.

Also it mentions “women who could melt a stone with a touch” and a) DUSTBRINGERS PLEASE TELL ME MORE and b) I’m. gay.

Also Navani offers to help Shallan with her work, realizing that she should have offered much sooner. Also we get a wonderful line from Navani: “My little Jasnah, insufferable and wonderful.”

Shallan also tells Navani that Jasnah was a Surgebinder.

Kaladin is dealing with the Weeping. And Moash, in this chilling moment:

“Sometimes lives must be spent for the greater good,” Kaladin said. “Yes, exactly!” “That’s what Amaram said. In regards to my friends, whom he murdered to cover up his secrets.” “Well, that’s different, obviously. He’s a lighteyes.” Kaladin looked to Moash, whose eyes had turned as light a tan as those of any Brightlord. Same color as Amaram’s, actually. “So are you.”

Fuck, that’s a powerful Not So Different moment. Although Moash brushes it off and then leaves.

The diagram has an interesting fragment: “We must find one [honorblade] Can we make to use a truthless can we craft a weapon” So the diagram may have been behind Szeth being called Truthless. Yikes. He’s not going to like that.

Anyway, Shallan likes the Weeping, and is drawing Jasnah in one of her last moments--tired, terrified, in the cabin of the ship.

And Shallan tells Dalinar that she’s a radiant. By making a small image of Jasnah. This is just a deeply important moment. Dalinar then thinks to make Shallan lead them, and Shallan is like. hell no. nope. not me.

Dalinar just lead them yourself.

Dalinar stopped in place, and stared at her in surprise. Then he grunted, his face barely visible. “I see Jasnah in you.” Rarely had Shallan been given such a compliment.

And then they find a Parshendi body with red eyes. Yikes. And also, Rlain comes back! Well, Shen, but he’s Rlain, and he’s Bridge Four. Fuck yeah.

“Yes. [Eshonai] was my commander. But now...Sir, I have reason to believe that everyone I know...everyone I loved...has been destroyed, monsters left in their place. The listeners, the Parshendi, may be no more. I have nothing left...” “Yes you do,” Skar said from outside the ring of guards. “You’re Bridge Four.” Rlain looked at him. “I’m a traitor.” “Ha!” Rock said. “Is little problem. Can be fixed.”

I LOVE BRIDGE FOUR SO MUCH.

Also Shallan is doing scouting and apparently Dalinar was just like “Get Shallan to come back and if she doesn’t tell her that I’ll send Adolin to cart her back over his shoulder” and Shallan is like “nice sounds hot anyway, science”

Anyway, Shallan finding the Oathgate is the only real retreat plan that the army has, so like, no pressure.

Kaladin is dealing with the Weeping and his injury, and getting through the training ground while limping. Also, when he gets back, Elhokar is there, waiting for him--aaaaand Elhokar is drunk.

Wonderful. Also I love how every time they describe Elhokar they point out that he has a big nose.

So we get Elhokar Inadequacy Rant no.1. Elhokar is sharp--he notices that there is a pattern of heroism around Kaladin, and he also knows that he himself doesn’t have any success--he gives himself a brutal smackdown of his own flaws:

“When I try to be strong, I make a fool of myself. When I try to be merciful, people walk all over me. When I try to listen to counsel, it turns out I’ve picked the wrong men! When I try to do everything on my own, Dalinar has to take over lest I ruin the kingdom. How do people know what to do? Why don’t I know what to do? I was born to this office, given the throne by the Almighty himself! Why would he give me the title, but not the capacity?”

Like, he’s going about this wrong, but god, this shit is fucking relateable. Elhokar does not have the personality of a good leader. But he can’t exactly not lead, becuase the kingdom still holds to the divine right of kings. So he grasps at straws, too uncertain of himself to make a solid choice one way or the other, too proud to admit his mistakes, craving flattery because it reassures him he’s not useless but knowing at the same time in his heart that it’s all a fucking lie.

Anyway, Kaladin refuses to teach him, and says he’s a bad king. Elhokar did ask. Also, Elhokar notes that when Kaladin came, the “shadows”--what Elhokar saw in mirrors and the corners of his eyes--left. Interesting. Very interesting.

The Diagram here mentions the Unmade and the fact that some of them can probably think.

With Dalinar, they’re about to actually join in battle with the Parshendi. Aladar freaks out because holy shit, Voidbringers, and Dalinar basically gives him a “get ahold of yourself” speech to get him to actually lead.

Okay, here’s a main difference between Dalinar’s viewpoint and Amaram’s. Dalinar is willing to sacrifice his army to stop the voidbringers, true. But he is only doing that because he is taking the same risk. He will lead that army because he wouldn’t ask them to go if he wasn’t at the lead, taking the same risk.

I’m going out on a fucking limb and saying that Amaram isn’t willing to go through what he put Kaladin through. Or what he did to Kaladin’s men. He thinks he’s too important to risk himself, and that’s why he’s such a sanctimonious ass.

Also, Dalinar gives impassioned speeches to Roion and Aladar, and then Sebarial is like where’s mine and Dalinar’s like you...can just go into the command tent and Sebarial is like Nice.

Time for another Good Dalinar Battle Speech: Yes, those are Voidbringers. Yes, we’re going to fight them. I don’t know what they can do. I don’t know why they’ve returned. But we came here to stop them.

I know you’re scared, but you have heard of my visions in the highstorms. In the warcamps, the lighteyes mocked me and dismissed what I’d seen as delusions. Well out there, you see proof that my visions were true! Out there, you see what I have been told would come!

I have been sent by the Almighty himself to save this land from another Desolation. I have seen what those things can do; I have lived lives broken by the Voidbringers. I’ve seen kingdoms shattered, peoples ruined, technology forgotten. I’ve seen civilization itself brought to the trembling edge of collapse.

We will prevent this! Today you fight not for the weath of a lighteyes, or even for the honor of your king. Today, you fight for the good of all men. You will not fight alone! Trust in what I have seen, trust in my words. If those things have returned, then so must the forces that once defeated them. We will see miracles before this day is out, men! We merely have to be strong enough to deserve them.

And then the Parshendi start singing, and it’s a completely new song that is more frenetic, and Rlain is freaking the fuck out. He says that Dalinar has to stop the song at all costs.

Back over to Kaladin. He’s wading through the training ground, which is now a small lake. He goes to seek out Zahel, who has strung up a hammock on lightning rods because he fears neither god nor man. As well he should--I mean, it’s Vasher. 

His metaphors remain hilarious. 

“Excellent deduction. Like fresh blue paint on a wall.” 

Anyway, Zahel asks what Kaladin wants. 

“Have you ever had to choose between two equally distasteful choices?”  “Every day I choose to keep breathing.”  “I worry something awful is going to happen. I can prevent it, but the awful thing...it might be best for everyone if it does happen.”  “Huh.”  “No advice?”  “Choose the option that makes it easiest for you to sleep at night. That’s what I wish I’d done.” 

This turns out to be the exact advice Kaladin needs to hear, tbh. He grabs a spear and goes to try to practice. He also starts literally yelling at the storm. And he realizes the rationale he’s using--”It’s right to remove the wounded limb. This is what we have to do, to stay alive” is the rationale that was used to kill Tien. 

And Kaladin realizes that for Dalinar, Elhokar is Tien.