#and I would cry because all of them are precious

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Inspired by this post because I learned is mostly canon that the reason all of that is called that stuff is because Dick named them when he was 8 and that is fudging precious.

Bruce: Okay, so what do you want to name the car?

Dick (8 at the time): Hm... You are a bat and you drive the car in your batsuit. Batmobile!

Bruce (blinking but not sure how to respond): We'll circle back, what should you call this new weapon I made?

Bruce holds up a bat shaped boomarang.

Bruce: It's a boomerang which means it will come back to me-

Dick (throwing his arms up eagerly): Batarang!

Bruce: Tsk... Okay.

Dick: You like them?

Bruce: I'm... Let's go back to that too. What would you call my hideout. It's in a cave, but calling it a cave feels boring to say. What would you, the 8 year old with an expanded imagination call this?

Dick: Hm ... Hm...

Dick walks around looking around the cave while tapping his chin.

Dick: I got it! The Batcave!

Bruce: ...Are you only naming them bat and then what it is?!

Dick (swaying on his feet with a smile): No.

Bruce: I can tell when you're lying.

Dick: Maybe.

Bruce: I feel like that will ruin the entire intimidation aspect of my hero persona. I- Why are you making that face?

Dick sniffles holding his down and about (pretending) to cry.

Dick: But you're... Batman... I wanted it to work with that, because I love you so much. I'm sorry.

Dick sobs, covering his eyes.

Bruce (straighting and feeling guilty): No wait, wait, don't cry. Do not cry, I'll use the names okay? All of them.

Dick: Including Batarang?

Bruce: If you could just-

Dick goes back to sobbing, keeping his eyes covered.

Bruce (sighing in defeat): Batarang it is.

Dick ends his act and cheers.

Dick: Yes! Batcave! Wooo! Woo- hoo!

Dick runs around the newly named Batcave as Bruce rubs his forehead exhausted. Alfred enters the cave with a tray that had a coffee cup on it.

Alfred: You caved didn't you?

Bruce: Don't- Don't say cave right now.

Dick: Bruce! If we get a plane we can call it the Batwing!

Bruce (resolute): Okay that one isn't that bad.

....

Years later when Damian is around.

Damian: Why is everything just Bat and then the item?

Bruce: Dick named everything and it grew on me. He's pretty creative with names isn't he?

Damian shakes his head with his arms crossed.

Damian: I want to change the names again!

Bruce: First child got naming rights. You can start a contingency plan on someone though.

Damian: You're lucky I like doing that.

Damian leaves the cave. Bruce turns to his computer, but notice Dick staring at him teary eyed.

Bruce: What?

Dick: You still like my names?

Bruce (sighing): Yes.

Dick: I love you dad!

He hugs his father. Bruce pats him on the back with a small smile.

Bruce: Oh good Lord. I love you too.

[ailendolin]

Live Reaction to TRoP 2x06

I have a feeling there will be no Elrond in this episode and my inner Durin is already crying over it

but my boy Arondir is here so that is good

probably not for the orcs, though

yep, told you so. Don't mess with Arondir. The way he sheathed his sword at the end? Absolute badass

oh that's Eregion on the map. Let's see if Arondir will make it there since no one else ever seems to manage to

I don't suppose that's a good sign there's a (admittedly cute) mouse in the forge

oh Celebrimbor is deteriorating so quickly. I just want to give him a hug and yeet Annatar off that tower

is this the episode where he will throw the hammer at Annatar? Ngl I am looking forward to that

the gentle music when Annatar is pretending to be understanding is making me so emotional because Calebrimbor needs comfort so badly and Annatar knows exactly what chords to play to make him think he is getting it

oh Valar, he is so tired. Someone get him out of there and please let him rest. Fuck, this episode is going to break my heart, isn't it?

I am LOVING the elves in uniform! Look at them! The way the colours blend together on their armour is so pretty

Malendol my beloved! Please join Camnir, Vorohil and Rían in my little collection of favourite minor characters who we will probably never see again (or, Valar forbid, see getting killed off)

omg he is so pretty and his voice! Aaaaah!

(this has nothing to with the episode but I am already seeing myself shipping him with Camnir for no other reason than that I love them both. This is not good. I need to stop getting attached to one-off characters)

Mirdania, I'm sorry, but you are grating on my nerves a little here

I'm loving the foreboding music when Annatar takes her hand

did you see the banners in the background? I want one of them and am once again asking Amazon: where the merch?

ah it's time for the Adar & Galadriel dinner scene. I didn't watch the clip that was released but I know people were screaming about it so this is going to be interesting

lol I see Adar is pulling no punches here and calling Galadriel out on her obsession with Sauron immediately. Good for him. Elrond would like you

Sauron promised her an army? Gal, love, he wanted to make you his queen

"Children." Nooooo what? Adar only ever wanted to be a dad. I'm crying

but oh this is so clever of him when he says Sauron's lies which must be extinguished becuase one thing I've loved about the show's portrayal of Sauron in season 1 is that he didn't lie to Galadriel. She was the one who constantly put words in his mouth

yes let the exes unionise!

oh he's got the stabby crown!

"The fate of that city now rests on your ability to put aside your pride." Yep, Eregion is doomed

Elendil! Everyone's adopted dad's not having a good time right now

clever, Pharazon. But Elendil will never renounce Miriel

YES, I told you he wouldn't! Fuck you, Pharazon, that man loves his queen and will never serve you

Lol. "Snoring? Who's snoring?" Tom, I love you, but you are not good at giving pep talks

Poppy and Merimac :)

omg that's a long time to decide on a name. What were his parents thinking?

I repeat: Poppy and Merimac :) That kiss was so sweet

and look, Tom, Poppy is great at pep talks. That's how you do it

okay we're going staff finding. Is it ridiculous that for a moment I thought he might get his staff from the Stoor tree?

omg you're not throwing the Gandalf quote in there without warning, are you? My poor heart can't take all these emotions. It's such a beautiful quote and I guess this is one more argument in favour of the "The Stranger is Gandalf" theory?

Khazad-Dûm my beloved

look at all that gold. I'm getting Erebor flashbacks (flashforwards?) here, and not in a good way

Annatar, get the fuck away from Durin, I swear. Where the hell is Elrond? He would feed you to the Balrog in a heartbeat

"More precious?" Do not use that fucking word

oh, the answer is no? That's a surprise. I bet there's a catch

noooo, not the fucking Balrog in the flames. He's going to wake him up, I know it. Just look at his smug, little face

ah, there's the catch. Poor Durin

"No, you belong to it." Truer words have never been spoken

I see Durin is faring as well as Elrond when it comes to convincing loved ones that the rings are dangerous. They are truly besties even in that

oh no, he's crying. My heart. He's stuck in such an awful situation and I am so glad he and Disa are uniting over it instead of letting it drive them apart as well

those trumpets sound gorgeous

ah, Earien is beginning to learn that actions have consequences. Good. Her relationship to her father is so complicated. It feels as if they're always talking at each other, not to each other. And yet you can see how much they love each other in every painful interactions

Forehead touch! This is not a drill!

YES DISA! Show them! Oh I love her so much. Her secret weapon is bats! I wrote my PhD about bats and they have a very special place in my heart so go, Disa, I am rooting for you and your bats!

"I love you." The moment we were all Durin

of course MIriel is going to face judgement in Elendil's place. Those two love each other so much without ever saying those words and I'm so here for it

she is cradling his face. I can't

and have I mentioned how fucking brave she is? Imagine facing that sea monster and not even being able to see it coming?

damn but this is shot absolutely beautifully

please let her gain a new pet sea monster that is going to swallow Pharazon and Kemen for breakfast

fuck yes, "Hail Tar-Miriel, Queen of the Sea!"

i love the cracking reality effect of the Palantir

so Adar knows Elrond has Nenya now. That's going to have consequences, isn't it? Will he try to capture Elrond to get the ring so he can defeat Sauron?

okay, Adar came prepared. Good for him. Bad for Celebrimbor and Eregion

Glûg my beloved! I have missed you! Please don't get yourself killed in the siege

oh that call to war is epic

Malendol! Aaaaaah another glimpse of him! I am so smitten it's ridiculous

aaaaand the Siege of Eregion is on

aw no, don't destroy your sketches, Celebrimbor

omg Annatar is such a little shit. "How fares your progress?" That smile, I can't

ooooh fuck, Celebrimbor fighting back? Physically? YES!

oh no, it's a vision. This is so fucking cruel. Look how relieved he is that his people are well. This is also a reminder to us viewers how much life will be lost in the coming episodes. That this was a place of happiness, once

fuck, there's the hammer

and mithril ore? Are you kidding me?

the oath. And the thing is, he is right. It will be all about the rings

and there's that word again. Precious. It is haunting the narrative and I love that it is being used for all the rings because they are all, one way or another, a product of Sauron's mind

"Best Feanor himself." Celebrimbor, why don't you use that hammer and smack Sauron back to Mordor? Please?

and the illusion stops. The fact that Celebrimbor doesn't even know what time of day it is ... my heart hurts

also the fact that the last peaceful moment of Eregion we saw was a lie? That the last moment it gleamed in sunlight was nothing but a cruel trick?

*insert gif of Theoden* So it begins

the end credit music is making me sad. Who gave Bear McCreary the right?

seriously though, Charlie E deserves all the awards. His Celebrimbor is so heart-breakingly kind and so heart-breakingly flawed at the same time and I just want to wrap him up in a blanket and hug him

two more episodes. Valar give us strength for what is to come

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

i'd love to see more from the poly reader x poolverine verse im obsessed w them

"I didn't realize your... roommates were home today," Your sister said helping the youngest into his coat.

"It's what happens when you don't call," you caution. "They live here. You want free babysitting, you accept the terms. Sometimes it's kazoos. Sometimes it's roommates." For now, you'd accept her calling them roommates. It was partly true. And it was less rude than what your mother had said. She called them your caretakers.

Sarah narrowed her eyes at you and you shrugged, "They're fed and in one piece. And Zach has part of his social studies paper done. You're welcome."

She watched for a second as her boys willingly accepted hugs and kisses as you ignored her, beseeching them to learn something at school and make good choices and she sighed, "Thanks."

"Call next time," you tell her giving her a meaningful look. You didn't live alone anymore. And if she didn't want her kids exposed to certain things then she needed to give you enough lead time to hide those things... Today she got lucky.

________________

"Shhh," Wade said, holding up a hand, "You hear that?"

"Hear what?" Logan said opening a beer.

"Silence," Wade sighed, sinking on to the couch next to you, handing you a glass of wine. "Holy shit."

"And that's why I like being the cool Aunt," You tell him yawning. "I show up late. I bring presents. I leave before the crying starts. And then I enjoy my nice quiet house."

Logan snorted and reached over to rub your neck as he took your other side and picked up the remote, "Nice little racket, bub."

You take a sip from your glass and stretch, snuggling into Logan's side and putting your feet in Wade's lap, "Not too shabby, boys."

"For roommates," Wade teased, smacking the bottoms of your feet affectionately. "Didn't know roommates fuck like we fuck."

"Sorry-"

Logan grunted and wrapped his arm around you, "Pause was doin' some heavy lifting there."

"Mom... doesn't approve. What dad knows depends on the day. And I think my grandparents would just drop fucking dead. So. There's that." You lean over and lift a sleepy Mary into your lap and stroke her back before resting your head against Logn again. They are who they are and you are who you are. You don't fit in with the cookie cutter perfect family they have and you haven't from the second you took your first breath. But you fit here with a variant and a mercenary and their ugly little rat dog.

"We could ruin Christmas," Wade offered, "Just go make out in front of-"

"Or," you hum, "we can leave well enough alone so I can still hang out with the kids and let them have someone around that's somehow less fucked up even if I'm objectively a mess."

The boys traded a look and Logan kissed the top of your head. They'd work out the specifics later but for now, as long as your sister kept her comments to herself they'd behave- mostly. As long as it meant you got to see the kids. Because it was clear it made you happy, and because; truth be told, it hadn't been too bad today.

Wade cradled one of your feet in his hand and grinned, "I got a question."

"Might have and answer," you tell him, hissing when his thumb hit a tender spot on your instep.

"Why do all the rugrats call you, Shush?"

"My parent's housekeeper calls me Sugar," you answer. "Everyone sort of adopted it and Zach couldn't say it- so it devolved into Shush and stuck."

"Stop it, that's precious," Wade cooed, "I thought they called you that because they were always telling you to shut-"

"Not all of us went to school thinking our first name was Damn it," you snort.

Logan smirked and let go of you long enough to light his cigar. "What'd she call your sister?" he asked.

"Honey. Or Princess if she was being annoying... it's just that neither ever really stuck."

[soshadysoquiet]

The Subway book, The Hug, and what I thought would happen as I watched S4

I wanted to know the story of the subway cipher-book, one of the bits I'd have loved to see in S4 was them solving or working to solve the subway.

I thought when they found the cipher / Five brought it to Strawberry Land that it would play an even bigger part than just a deus ex machina

Here's a few different things I thought was going to happen once E5/E6 hit us:

*Going to insert my unpopular opinion here that I don't feel it was majorly off-brand for Five to have left when he did at Diego & Lila's house or all the other Five's to be in the diner:

He's resorted to escaping awkward and emotional situations in the past at the drop of a hat because he thinks he can solve the situation / just doesn't want to be there anymore. (he implies in S1 that he was going to use a briefcase to 'start over' ergo abandoning 'these' siblings potentially for a different set?)

He's always looking for ways to buy himself time, in the subway he theoretically has endless time to sort shit out. (He's typically made bad, seat-of-the-pants decisions about this too when backed into a corner - The Handler, typically)

*Granted, I only watched S4 the once and can't remember if there's more to it. Happy to be disagreed with if I've forgotten something!

*Second unpopular opinion is that I don't really care about the cheating after the length of time it had been as much as how it didn't feel like that length of time / build up of the relationship looked Very much like they were both into 'not-sane-consent' ish territory / the relationship being in-character itself wasn't conveyed well enough personally.

**Edit - as I'm having another resurgence of rage over S4 atm I was watching a review vid on it and had completely forgotten that Five blipped out on his whole fam in the middle of the life and death Ben Blob match. I rescind my above opinion on how this is in character.

So, without more rambling:

First Thought:

Five x Lila happens as it did but when they get back and Five sees Lila with Diego and her family he realises that what they had was a distraction / a crutch etc and he leaves. He goes to the subway (Lila has the cipher). He realises that in order for them to ever get back home, which he ultimately wants because he cares for his family and what he had with Lila, that someone needs to make the cipher. So he stays and makes it. He stays in Strawberry Land for the rest of his life and dies there alone, creating the way that his family can be safe.

Lila realises he's missing and before the whole thing comes out to Diego (or after, whichever you prefer) she goes to find him in the subway, she sees he's gone, looks in the cipher for an answer as to where he could be / to go find him (she might be choosing to stay with her family and Diego over him, but they shared precious trauma time in the trenches down there) In the back of the book there's a note, for her, that she would only understand now (something like 'family has always been our start and end point dear one, don't lose yours now that you've found what I once took away from you' - or something sappy / romantic and eloquent, let's not kid ourselves that Five would be an absolute sap about it)

Lila breaks down crying. At which point because the Timeline is so very fucked right now Five from a few days ago (for him) years ago (for her) appears on one of his first forays into the subway when his powers first start to fuck up. He sees her crying like the world is ending and comforts her (like we see him do with the hug).

Five, for his part, just accepts and believes her that she's been time travelling and has solved things because they have an intellectual respect for each other, and maybe she realises that she still has that?

Either way they go back and the ending could be whatever you prefer at that point, Diego and her making up, not, him finding out, not, them all dying together, not.

Now, the idea of this being how OG Five's life ended (alone, again, at the end of the world, but with having dedicated himself to his family, after losing everything) is completely tragic, it's an awful ending, I'd have been sick with grief. But I'd have felt a hell of a lot more about it than I did the ending, by which point I just wanted the show to end so I could stop watching it.

Second Thought:

The Diner Five's worked together to come up with the solution to save the world / that it can't be saved (enter preference of choice I'm ambivalent) but with more meaning than just 'you turned up and we told you'. I want Five to rail at the news, I want him to break down, I want there to be one last fight before the acceptance if the end is what is coming.

Third Thought:

Diner Fives direct Five to Off The Rails Oldest Man Five who wrote the cipher, and they have the same sort of thing as the above with the saving / not saving of the world.

Later Fourth Thought:

Very similar to 1, except that Lila on looking at the cipher realises it changes handwriting half way through to hers. The sappy message is from Old Five that he tried to finish it so that she could save their family, it was both of their goals after all, but he was so sorry that he couldn't, and has to put it on her. She breaks down, realises what she has to do, she stays in the subway and finishes the work, sacrificing herself to her family's survival as he did, but she leaves a big note in the front to the Five that's going to find this (some Lila-esque insult that the pair of them need to use this cipher to get home now don't stop don't pass go etc, and she leaves it where she knows they'll find it the first time when they go to the cottage, maybe leaves their younger selves some advice). Then it's a bit like 'The day that wasn't' in that we see younger Five and Lila retrieve This book, maybe wonder at the odd messages in it that are in turns insulting and heartfelt, and they make it home after long years but back to their family. They could either hug because of the relief that they have a way home, or because both Old Five and Old Lila realised and wrote that the world can't be saved, or because Lila sees that she left / cheated on her family and realises what she had to lose and Five realises what he nearly let himself lose too / how he's been pushing his family away and insulting them and that was never what he spent his life searching for.

Not saying any of these would have been better, but I kind of like them as options :)

[kudzu-san]

Breaking down over ASL and the Dadan Family and Garp I can't fucking do this man. This is so hurtful.

[the-ghost-gardren]

JUST started a good Durge playthrough and I'm dying over my absolute little guy bard Tinfoil.

[cheriafreya]

slowly getting my FUA team ready... only one beautiful gambler left to replace Gallagher so he can go back to his Superbreak team in peace

[captain-amadeus]

I promise to continue watching stf anyways

[lavender-femme]

I don’t wanna fucking do this anymore

It hurts too much and I’m just so tired of starting to feel a bit better and just having the wounds sliced open right across the fresh scars

I’m so so fucking tired of this I don’t want to do any of this anymore

[werewolfbneimitzvah]

vent post. There are two stories i was told in my teenage years that even before i had a real concept of trans issues made me uninterested in discussing the supposed sacredness and safety of separated sex-based spaces.

First, when i was like 13 or 14 my PE teacher told us about a time she went to a women's public restroom, some guy was hanging out outside the bathrooms, she didn't think anything of it, went to the bathroom, and he walked in after her and like, creeped on her over the top of the stall. She was ok, she wasn't telling us this to scare us, just telling us what to do in situations like that (and iirc she was telling the whole co-ed class this, not just girls, bc it's useful for everyone), but this taught me immediately and forever that there's nothing actually keeping these spaces separate really, that anyone can be a creep in any space, and that establishing a space like that as for women only isn't actually particularly useful for safety.

Second, when i was 16 i was at an anime convention, a friendly acquaintance of mine and i ended up in conversation outside, and he showed me his bare wrist and told me he'd been kicked out. A female friend of his had stepped in dog poop outside, and between that and the stress of the convention she'd had a bit of an emotional breakdown, so being her friend, he started comforting her and ushered her into the women's restroom so they could wash the poop off her shoe together. And because he was a man who went into the women's bathroom, he got kicked out, no matter that he was doing something that was actually beneficial to a woman. Punishing a woman's friend for supporting her was supposed to... protect her somehow? This made it clear to me that a no-exceptions rule separating the sexes like that wasn't actually inherently good for everyone.

And this isn't even getting into me as a child needing to accompany my younger sister to the restroom when we were out with just my dad because she had certain support needs past the age he felt comfortable bringing her into the men's room with him. And what if I'd been born a boy, or she'd been the first born? Who's helping her then?

And of course even putting all this aside, we should always prioritize compassion and support anyway. But i never even needed to meet a trans person to know that "keeping men out of women's bathrooms" is silly nonsense. But trans people also need to pee anyway and as humans they have that right, so leave them the fuck alone. your precious women's restroom is just a fucking room with a door, holy shit give it a fucking rest, if someone is attacking you in the bathroom that's bad and if someone is in there to pee that's good and it doesn't fucking matter what their junk is or was when they were born.

a woman could have done the exact same thing to my PE teacher and it would have also been bad no matter how "supposed" to be in the restroom she was, and no one should ever be punished for helping a crying friend wash their shoe.

Anyway i know I'm speaking to like-minded folks here, i just think about those two stories literally every time bathroom gender shit comes up and it pisses me off.

[kamiraaah]

TWST PARENTS! Trappola, Hunt and Ashengrotto!!

⚠️⚠️First of all, I must warn you that these designs may change in the future, either because the game presented us with the official designs, or just because I really wanted to change... Or I could reuse these designs for these characters!⚠️⚠️ Given that warning...

Guys, gals, and non-binary pals. I present to you, the Trappola, Hunt, and Ashengrotto families!

The Trappolas it's a very common family, compared to others. Of course, Ace Trappola and his brother get into a lot of trouble and face their mother's anger very often... But hey! It's good that they have their father to calm things down when things escalate, right? It may not seem like it, but Mrs. Trappola in her youth was just like Ace, always getting into trouble and facing authorities without thinking twice… Which led to many fights with Ace's grandmother. Mr. Trappola, on the other hand, rarely started fights, at least physical ones. Since he has a sharp tongue, always with some offense or something to irritate the other person. Both Ace and his brother inherited these traits from their parents… Although the older one is a little more responsible and is sometimes the one who talks sense into Ace's head. Ace and his brother have always been close, even though they fight or torment each other, they both have great respect for each other, even now that they don't see each other as much…

The Hunt family is a mystery to many.

The members of this family are… Lively, for lack of a better description, and Rook is the best known among them, and yet he is a guy who hides many secrets.

Although they are unknown, they are apparently a family with a certain wealth, many stories surround their members about how the Hunts managed to get so much money and influence in Twisted Wonderland...

But of course none that came close to the truth.I still wonder what kind of people they are.

Mama, Papa and Grandma Ashengrotto! A very loving family that loves young Azul more than he can imagine. Miss Ashengrotto goes to great lengths to demonstrate her love for her son, even though she is a busy woman, always does everything possible and impossible to be present in her son's life. She is a great friend of the Leech family, and always gets in touch to talk or update each other on how the children are doing. Mr. Ashengrotto, Azul's stepfather, is a kind man who has great respect for his wife. At the beginning of his relationship with his current wife, he was afraid that it would end up affecting the relationship between mother and son… The last thing he wanted was to make the young man hate him, but time passed and Azul and him ended up getting very close ( and catching his stepfather off guard when he called him "papa"… who ended up crying with happiness). Unfortunately, he carries the guilt of not having noticed the bullying that Azul went through in his childhood, and whenever he can (or when Azul allows him) he helps him with whatever he can… Always trying to talk and advise the youngest. Grandmother Ashengrotto, like her daughter, is a kind but strict woman. Always wanting the best for her grandson and being one of his biggest supporters in any projects her grandson starts. Always demands that he visits her more often... And preferably with friends! She wants to make sure her precious grandson is being well taken care of!!

AND MORE FAMILIES DONE!! And I'm still going to draw pictures of other members of the TWST families, so please bear with me a little… I'm going as fast as I can!🫠

I'm not 100% satisfied with their designs... They have a big chance of being changed, but I hope you like them! 😚

[tender-rosiey]

What would happen if gojo has 2 babies? And they both start crying at the same time and poor gojo has to find a solution in this situation 🥲 his younger baby that is only months old starts crying which makes the older sibling that's 2 years older wake up and starts crying 😭

little voice — gojo satoru x f!reader

you’re on a girls’ vacation. it’s okay. it’s cool.

but it isn’t.

throughout his entire life of fighting curses, emotional trauma, technique training, and unending migraines, he has never felt so much stress like he does right now.

his two kids are truly angels: full of kindness, compassion and—as expected of a child of gojo satoru—full of mischief.

they also share the same amount of love he has for you and, of course, even more. so separate two kids who adore their mother and you get chaos.

satoru just found out that the one who keeps the balance in the house is you, and thinking back about it, it should’ve been obvious because everyone in this house listens to you.

for example, one time when you were out on a simple visit to nanami to take some of the sweet bread he has, you had strictly told satoru to put the two kids to sleep at 8:30 exactly.

he thought it’s too early, but then you explained to him that s/n sleeping gave him time and freedom to look after your baby daughter who was, admittedly, a handful that would not sleep unless she was carried.

so satoru obediently listened, or at least he tried to.

a shameful failed trial at that.

in his defense, what was he supposed to do when s/n gave him puppy eyes asked for a mere 10 minutes more, say no? of course not!

so, like the great father he is, he gave him a couple more minutes, and nothing will make satoru regret his decision since to him his son’s smile is worth the world.

…except maybe the chandelier that is now on the floor and his precious baby daughter who just took one the biggest poops he has known of and his son who is panicking about how to clean this mess before you come home.

and come home you did and to all this mess.

swiftly, you picked up your daughter and changed her diaper, even making her giggle and squeal in between.

then you hugged your son and cleaned up the shattered glass together and disposed of the chandelier. lastly, you stood in front of your husband with a big frown after you’ve put the kids to sleep.

satoru could swear that he couldn’t fall more in love with you. hell, he could even twirl you around and kiss you breathless, but he feels like that would just lead him to the couch.

so he works to butter you up first before trying anything, “hey my sweet cute honeypie—“

you simply quirk an eyebrow.

and he falls to his knees, “I am sorry! I just couldn’t resist his puppy eyes! you should’ve seen them; he looked so cute!”

“I saw them a million times before he was even born, ‘toru.”

your husband gasps, “how!?”

“our son is an exact copy of you, sweetie.”

so yeah that was one of too many times, and if it isn’t apparent that you are the mediator then satoru wants to let the world know that even his students listen to you.

like that one time at school when the first years were caught up fighting with each other, the second years were trying to pull them apart, and satoru was too busy cackling at them while holding d/n that no one noticed panda’s little tail being—god knows why—on fire, not even panda himself.

that was until your precious son tugged at your husband’s shirt and pointed at panda, saying a simple sentence (phrase), “papa, panda fire.”

satoru’s eyes zero on panda then they widen, before he gapes, “oh shit, you’re right!”

“bad word!”

“sorry!”

however, despite satoru almost bolting to put out the fire, panda was finally able to smell it and hummed, “something’s being cooked.” then he looked at his tail, “oh it’s me.”

hit the panic button.

“I am being cooked!” he screams and starts running around, “panda meat doesn’t taste good; I promise!”

the rest start running after him with the intention to help, but panda could only translate it into one thing as he screamed, “don’t eat me!!”

“no one is gonna eat you, dumbass!!” maki yelled but to no avail as no one could get to the panicked panda.

your husband is running as well, half taking photos and videos and half ensuring that d/n does not fall from his hands—considering how she keeps giggling, squealing, and wriggling her entire body.

ijichi took matters into his own hands and called the only person he knows will be able to solve this.

“hello?”

“panda is on fire, the kids are running after him, and gojo is just recording!” he wails, eyes frantically following said people then straying to a particularly small person, “also s/n is trying to eat the grass.”

“what?!”

and like lightning, you’re on the field. you lightly scold s/n and tell him to cover his ears.

you turn to the walking fire hazard and scream, “everyone stop! and panda get over here!”

“yes ma’am!”

he stands still in front of you, almost ignoring his ‘fiery’ tail. you effectively put it out and ruffle his fur until he calms down. the others take turns in greeting you and getting their daily dose of motherly hugs.

your son sprints to you and holds onto your leg, refusing to let go.

and they all make way for the star of the show: the all-mighty gojo satoru.

he beams, “wifey, yet again you save the day!”

he easily picks up s/n and pulls the four of you into one big hug. he rubs his cheek against yours, “have I told you how much I love you?”

“I was gone for 3 minutes.”

“I haven’t?!” he gasps, completely ignoring you, “I am a terrible husband!”

he sobs and starts slowly melting to the ground where he believes a ‘disrespectful, good-for-nothing husband who doesn’t tell his wife just how much he loves her’.

anyway, back to the present. the kids have been miraculously put to sleep—a process that satoru does not have the time nor the energy to describe.

when he stops ‘reminiscing ‘, he starts paling at the fact that all of these were mere examples of things going wrong without you, and you were in the freaking area.

now, you’re not 10 steps away, and satoru is feeling very threatened.

he is sprawled out on the couch, eye bags ever so prominent. he sighs and lets his head fall back, grateful for the silence that fills the house, but he hates it at the same time.

satoru was never fond of silence—the type that feels so heavy on the heart—even when he was a teenager. it gives space and time to think about all the things he is desperate to avoid.

he did eventually come to love silence but only the silence that accompanies the times he spends with you, but that’s a story for another time though.

opening his eyes, he looks around and his gaze lands on your recent family photo. his smile is almost instantaneous.

if there’s anything he will rub in suguru’s face when they meet is that he managed to score himself such a lovely wife and an adoring family, a real family. he mentally writes a plus one on the score chart between him and suguru then relaxes.

he would like to scurry to the bed where your scent still lingers, but his fatigue has simply chained him to the couch—he is overreacting you’re only gone for three days.

so, he decides, it’s time to rest and hope for a dream where he gets to hold you and live with his longing until he can feel your lips against his skin again.

the great gojo satoru closes his eyes and welcomes his slumber.

that is until, his little sweetheart decides to breakout into a wail, effectively causing her dad’s eyes to snap open.

he jumps to his feet and sprints to her room, “d/n, what’s wrong, honey?”

he softly cradles her in his—gigantic—arms and starts rocking her slowly. “it’s okay; papa’s here,” he murmurs in hopes of calming down, but his daughter doesn’t register his voice yet.

she can, however, feel his all too familiar chest against her cheek, so she grips at it tightly and continues crying.

satoru’s expression is full of distress, and his heart contracts painfully at how his daughter’s cries. then it’s almost like the entire world is against him right now because he also starts to hear small little sniffles from the door of the room.

your husband looks back to find his son dragging his teddy bear with him in one hand and in another, trying to wipe his tears as much as possible.

your husband quickly shifts d/n into one arm and leads s/n into him with the other. your son nuzzles into his dad’s chest and murmurs, “I want mama.”

almost like she understands the mention of you, she calms down a tiny bit and her hands start reaching for the air—reaching for you.

satoru slides down to the ground and pulls them both into his chest, and he starts rubbing s/n’s shoulder and kisses the top of his head and sighs, “me too, s/n, but, hey, we are strong and capable, so we have to hold on until she comes home, right?”

a little sniffle escapes s/n as he nods before saying a soft, “yeah.”

satoru smiles and ruffles his hair, “that’s my champ.”

s/n lets out a little smile and snuggles into his dad’s embrace.

so satoru shifts his attention to the sniffling baby in his arm, he frowns, “now what are we going to do with you, little missy?”

your son purses his lips for a moment, before placing the teddy bear in his hands into his little sister’s tiny arms. curiosity takes over for a moment, and she starts exploring the new item.

then s/n presses on the teddy bear’s chest and it plays a little voice message from you:

“hey sweetie! mama loves you, so don’t worry about those nightmares! I am always here.”

your daughter’s eyes shine and she hugs the teddy as much as possible and utters a small, “ma!”

satoru blinks owlishly then looks at s/n with smile, “so you had that all along?”

s/n nods slowly and holds into his father tighter, obviously getting tired and getting ready to sleep. satoru would love to say the same about his other angel but—oh she fell asleep.

looks like all it took was a little listen to your voice.

he will probably make you record a thousand voice messages when you come back and make you get him his own special build-a-bear as well cause what the hell? what about your husband?

he shakes the thought away, realizing that he can finally fall asleep, albeit on the floor.

with no blanket.

no pillow.

not even his favorite cushion.

but he wasn’t raised to be ungrateful, so he will take what he can get. he will simply make up for lost sleep when you’re back. it will feel better that way in any case.

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[monstersflashlight]

I know you said you don’t write pregnancy, but would you write about a yandere family dynamic? Like a yandere husband with wife reader, and their platonic yandere children they had together? Just some sweet family fluff and stuff?

Hi there! Sorry this took so long, it got lost between other requests. As I don't really like writting families anymore (you can find my fics in other fandoms around, used to love kid fics), I'm gonna do this like a headcanon, because I think that would be funny.

Yandere monster husband who makes you sit and watch as he does all the chores because you are pregnant. There's no way you are risking your precious body or his precious child by moving even a finger. He gets so mad when you try to do something that he ties you down to the bed and spends hours eating your pussy until you are crying out and asking for mercy. He doesn't stop until you are so tired and spent out you can't even fathom moving to do anything else.

Yandere monster husband who threatens your doctor when you are in the middle of labor because you are in so much pain. He growls and grunts at everyone approaching your squirming body as you scream and curse him for doing that to you. He shushes you, caressing your hair and holding your hand until he's the one asking for mercy because of how hard you are squeezing him. He doesn't let go, through. He promised he never would.

Yandere monster husband who is so obsessed over your soft body and milking boobs after birth that he can't stop staring at you. He looks at you constantly, doesn't even let you go to the bathroom alone. And when the baby is asleep, he takes his turn milking your sore boobs and eating your pussy, you did such a hard work, you deserve to be worshiped.

Yandere monster husband who you think he's gonna calm down after the first pregnancy, but the second one is the exact same. And the third one. And by the time you have three toddlers, he's so obsessed with them as he is with you. He threatened at least four parents because their kids made your kid cry. He threatened the principal of the school because they tried to say the scratches on your baby girl's arm were just an accident. So it doesn't surprise you when they forbid him into school perimeter, he has to wait in the car as you go and talk to the teachers. He grunts all the way, but you are secretly glad, he always makes people uncomfortable.

But you love it. You love how protective he is. How caring and obsessed with you and your children, how much he takes care of every single one of you. You are in love with him even if he's a bit... too much sometimes.

[bunnys-kisses]

show-off (simon's version)

simon 'ghost' riley

cw: smut/pwp, size difference/kink, unprotected sex, outdoor sex, dirty talk, filthy, missionary, rough sex, mask kink, clothed sex, crying kink

price's version | johnny's version | kyle's version

simon loved his precious girl. he had been calling your "the missus" for months now. the task force was honestly surprised that simon managed to find someone. especially someone so.... cute? innocent? sweet?

the boys remembered one time you went all the way to base with a container full of homemade cookies because simon would be on base during his birthday. you somehow made your way onto base with no proper identification that would allow you on base. somehow you figured it out and ended up surprising simon with it.

so to get a video message in the group chat on a sunny afternoon was a bit of a surprise to price, johnny and kyle. simon never sent videos, he barely sent messages that were more than a word long.

so a lengthy video made the rest of the task force very interested.

"there's the pretty bird." simon cooed. you were all giggles as you tried to shield your face from the camera.

"si, stop it!" you giggled as you felt your cheeks grow hot under the lens of the camera. you were both outside in the backyard.

the task force knew about the high fence that protected the property you called home. even if someone could hear the both of you, it would take a lot for them to see it. the camera panned down to the sight of the skirt of your sundress pushed up to your waist and your panties were around your left ankle.

wasn't simon a gentleman letting you lie out on a checkered blanket. you had a smile on your face as the camera was pointed to you. the sound of simon undoing his belt, it was dropped by your head soon after.

your expression made it clear that simon had taken his cock out, your eyes went wide and the movement of your throat as you swallowed.

"tell the boys what you're lookin' at right now, birdie?" he asked, he let out a soft groan as he started to stroke his lengthy cock. he was situated at about seven and a half inches, almost eight if he was painfully hard.

you replied, "um.. hi, captain price, sergeants mactavish and garrick! i hope you're liking this video!" god you sounded so painfully cute. (by this point johnny had always came once, but he was working himself for a second round). you looked at simon, "it's embarrassing!"

"c'mon. it's nothing they haven't seen before." simon chuckled.

you made a face, "what are you doing when i'm not around?"

simon reached for you with his free hand and rubbed your soft cheek, "i mean in the showers, lovie. no one is takin' me from you."

you pouted, "good."

"now tell the boys what you see. give them a nice visual before i fuck you." simon's voice was soft. soft in a way that the rest of the team didn't even know if it was possible.

you looked up at the camera and held onto the bottom of your dress skirt that was bunched up around your waist. you looked embarrassed as you said, "si is wearing a green t-shirt and camo pants, he has his gloves with the bones on them, and his mask."

"do i look good, lovie?"

you nodded meekly, "you look very good, si!" you blushed more and smiled up at him. he used his free hand to put around your neck delicately, he wasn't choking you, just holding you. you leaned into his touch lovingly.

"but you're prettier, lovin' a dog like me." he laughed as he grabbed you by one hip and shifted your hips up. your cunt rested in his lap up against his cock. he tilted the camera down to get a good look at your glossy pussy.

he rubbed his impressive cock up against your pussy. how could something so big fit inside something so small. it was nothing short of a miracle.

"like that, lovie? like when i film ya for the boys?" simon chuckled as he stroked his cock and tapped it against the top of your pussy, "make ya open up for me."

you whined, "simon!!"

he chuckled lowly before he pressed his cock into your waiting hole. you made a low groaning noise as you clutched into the blanket under you. the wet noises sounded like a dream as you whimpered loudly.

simon kept the camera on your face and bouncing tits as he thrusted against you. the sounds of sex rang through the video as simon pleasured you. of course you looked like a sex goddess, your rightful throne on his cock.

you rolled your hips as he filmed you, his free hand on your bent knee as he moved against you. your cheeks looked warm as you panted heavily. the pleasure coursed through you.

"like what you see, boys?" he asked as he got a close up of your face as it was twisted with pleasure, "pretty little thing." he chuckled.

"si! please!' you whimpered, as you met his thrusts. they weren't extremely fast but they carried power that made your breath get caught in your throat. like he was moving your organs up with each thrust.

simon looked down at you, you couldn't read his expression due to the mask. you hated to admit but the thing was very attractive. it left him so mysterious as he rubbed your knee and held the camera in your face. he watched you with a knowing gaze, he knew what his teammates were thinking right now.

price was probably watching this with his morning coffee, johnny was stroking his cock like it was a lifeline, and kyle was casually watching it, monitoring your every facial expression. regardless the video would be in steady rotation in the task force 141's spank bank.

simon felt a surge of pride in his gut as he continued to fuck your sweet pussy, earning more sweet noises from you. it was adorable, you sounded like a dream to him. you were just the cutest thing ever, he couldn't even put into words how adorable he thought you were.

"pretty girl." his tongue was filthy, "everyone thinks you're the sweetest thing since sugar. but i've seen the damage you can do.' you love how big i am. you always said the bigger the better, even when it stretches your little cunny." you covered your face once more and he chuckled, "show me your face, lovie."

you slowly pulled your hands away and looked at the camera. he made a pleased noise as he continued to fuck you. you felt amazing wrapped around his cock. like a sexual fantasy come to life, it was arousing.

sometimes the arousal in you was so intense that you ended up tearing up. your bottom lip wobbled as he buried his cock into you, his balls gazed your ass as you took every last inch. you wiped your tears but simon only put the camera further in your face to get the best view of his crying little angel.

"poor girl, poor mrs. riley." he purred, "gettin' bullied by her hubby's fat cock."

you whimpered, "please, si." you felt your back arch as your heart thumped in your chest. the back of your sundress stuck to your sweaty back.

simon was a hungry man, a greedy, hungry man. he loved that his teammates are going to get off to the sounds of him fucking you. it wasn't long before the video's stabilization became a little off because simon was nearing his orgasm.

your clothed breasts bounced with each thrust, them almost tumbling out of the front of your sundress, and your tongue peeked out from your mouth as you panted heavily. it was arousing to the point where simon could feel his cock twitch inside of you.

"most beautiful thing ya ever seen." he said as his pace staggered and with a few thrusts, he pushed his cock all the way inside of you.

simon afterwards too his cock out, it was growing soft as he pulled out, a dribble of leftover cum came out.the camera for a brief moment showed your used cunt.

then the video ended. and there was an additional message from simon that read, "this isn't me sharing. i was just showin' off."

[feralgoblinqueen]

König with a small (anyone is small compared to this man) gf who speaks up for him and gets angry on his behalf.

Like at work he’s confident, large, and in charge. HOWEVER, König really appreciates someone who speaks up for him in his day to day life.

Needs to send food back at a restaurant? He’s certainly not going to do it. His precious and sweet looking gf on the other hand… polite at first (always) but she will in fact match energy if need be.

Someone staring at him while out I public and he gets uncomfortable? She’s all over it. Will ask politely for them to stop staring but can and will escalate. Has made grown men and women cry AND apologize to her beloved König.

Random jerk on the street saying you could do better than a monster like him? He’s already transferring the bail money because he knows better than to get between you and the object of your wrath.

She would be the epitome of “looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you”. And she’s always so sweet… until you make her man uncomfortable.

[lauriemarch]

and at the end of the day, people will still hate women.

because beyonce is a terrible songwriter who has a good body and nothing more and she's really nothing compared to olivia rodrigo, that stuck-up bitch who steals other people's music, but taylor swift is an old, bitter nothing who clearly hates other girls. and sabrina carpenter deserves to die because she followed her heart, not her brain, and that's exactly why zendaya will never be good enough for tom holland. don't forget about kylie jenner, who's stealing precious timothee's innocence away and dating her is like committing arthouse cinema suicide, or how we said the same thing about miley cyrus and her disgusting profanity, think of the children, poor liam hemsworth, trapped in a marriage with such a horrible woman. lana del rey was hot until she was big and she made trailerpark sexy until her ass got a little too fat. and ariana grande, talentless homewrecker, and selena gomez, jealous and unreasonable, and hailey bieber, even more boring than the blood drying on the knives you are so quick to pull. sophie turner is a bad mom and megan thee stallion deserved whatever was coming to her.

and amidst all of this, we still don't know these women. we cannot fathom the pain of having a public divorce, one where people choose sides and hurl insults at you until the battery on their phone dies. we don't watch them chase after sweet-cheeked children in tucked-away backyards or play board games with their best friends while their chests heave in laughter. we don't know their marriages and we don't know their solitudes. we don't watch them unravel themselves, time and time again, preparing for the battle that we have made of their lives. they can never make a mistake. they can never cry. they can never be who they believe themselves to be.

and we take all of this and we go to work, we ride the bus, we go grocery shopping, we walk in dappled sunlight, and we let ourselves shrivel. i compare myself to every body i see and i comfort in the fact that i can still encircle my wrists with my fingers. food turns to dust in my mouth when i think about the fact that taylor swift thinks she's fat and people still hate sabrina carpenter for sticking by joshua bassett's side when he almost died, for God's sake, and now the people on my twitter feed are saying GUTS is the worst album they've ever heard. i liked it, the tiny voice in my head cries out. she wrote songs that made me feel noticed. they're calling the song i relate to the most a total skip.

so i close the app. i try not to think about the endless profiles screaming about how much they hate a nineteen/thirty-two/thirty-eight/twenty-three/twenty-six/forty-two year old. i try not to think about how much they would hate me, if they knew anything at all.