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archaeren · 8 months ago

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How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

#creative writing #writers block #writblr #writers on tumblr #writing #writers and poets #writerscommunity #fanfic writing #writeblr #writing advice

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thehmn · 9 months ago

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I wanted to make this post because we don’t see a lot of asexual characters in western media and despite him being from a hugely popular show (Seaside Hotel) you’re unlikely to know of his existence if you’re not from Denmark.

His name is Hjalmar Aurland and he’s one of the more sympathetic and realistic asexual characters I’ve seen. He lives in a time and place where asexuality as a concept doesn’t exist yet so he’s never labeled as such but rewatching the show made me realize that he acts exactly like the asexual people I personally know. Asexuality can mean a lot of things but his specific brand isn’t naive to sex nor is he repulsed by sex, sexual desire or thoughts simply doesn’t come naturally to him.

He can be convinced to have sex with his wife Helene but only if she appeals to their emotional bond. Just so you don’t get the wrong idea, he’s not being forced or emotionally blackmailed to sleep with her. It’s simply that he understands sex is a way to show emotional love too and he wants to express that love for Helene when it’s important to her, and seeing as sex isn’t unpleasant to him, just kinda boring, he’s willing to do that for her.

Unfortunately that isn’t enough for Helene and despite her love for Hjalmar she starts an affair with the dramatic and emotional actor Edward Weyse. He has a string of relationships, marriages and divorces behind him because despite what it may look like from the outside Edward doesn’t really want shallow sexual relationships. He just can’t help himself and keep falling in love with women left and right, fully and wholeheartedly, only to be dumped or dump them once the initial excitement has passed.

So Helene and Edward’s affair that was only meant to satisfy their carnal desires quickly becomes romantic. Helene feels torn between him and Hjalmar who she still loves and Edward understands the difficult situation they’re both in while also feeling jealous of Hjalmar. And Hjalmar? He doesn’t catch on for years. He’s not stupid but his brain just doesn’t jump to sex. He just assumes they’re good friends and why shouldn’t his wife be allowed to have friends, even male ones? Things get really complicated when Helene gets pregnant and she has to have sex with Hjalmar so he won’t wonder how it happened. Edward even has to join in on the seduction, reminding Hjalmar how much Helene loves him, even though it breaks Edward’s heart to do so.

But like I’ve said Hjalmar isn’t stupid. He saw the signs but chose to ignore them until one night when Helene accidentally says Edward’s name. It breaks the dam in Hjalmar’s denial and he has to face that deep down he always knew. Overcome by sadness and betrayal he wanders off into the night in nothing but his nightgown and gets a room at a different hotel where he can think in peace. Eventually he agrees to return to the first hotel with Helene and Edward and decides to take control of the situation.

He sits them both down and tells them that he understands that the three of them share a bond and that there are things he can’t really do for Helene so from now on he wants their relationship to be open and honest. He wants Helene and Edward to keep seeing each other and Edward is welcome in their house, but Hjalmar wants to be allowed to call Edward by his first name and makes it very clear that Helene and Edward’s children “belong to him” because he still thinks of himself as their dad and loves them as his own children. Both Helene and Edward agrees to it, though the emotional Edward is very flustered and confused by the acceptance and love he’s being shown by Hjalmar.

This is obviously a very tv drama situation but I was so stuck by how much Hjalmar acts like my asexual friends. Having a lover for your partner isn’t the most common solution but it’s an idea I’ve heard a lot of asexual people be open to under the right circumstances and of course that’s the most dramatic solution for a romantic tv drama.

Hjalmar is defined by so much more than his sexuality though. His main characteristic is his passion for social justice and equality, and other than some early show weirdness before they really cemented the characters, Hjamler is the only character who floats freely between the men and women. He’s just as likely to sit with the men as he is the women, often appearing in otherwise entirely female spaces. It’s never questioned or even brought up, not because he’s a “safe asexual” but because he cares and think their worries are as important as the men’s. He’s often called a pessimist by the other men when in reality he is determined to be hopeful and compassionate and spread the love he feels the world is lacking as WWII draws closer.

So yeah, I just wanted to share this sweet ace guy with you because you probably wouldn’t have known about him otherwise.

#asexual #polyamory #hjalmar aurland #badehotellet #beach hotel #long post

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moonlightwritingf1 · 26 days ago

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Wedding Night | LN4

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ summary ━━━━━━━ Lando and Y/N shared their first night as husband and wife, their love unfolding in soft, unhurried touches.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ pairing ━━━━━━━ Lando Norris x she!reader

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ word count ━━━━━━━ 4.6k

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ warnings ━━━━━━━ +18, sexual content, p in v, unprotected sex, soft sex

Based on this request.

Moonlight spilled through the windows of the centuries-old Italian villa, painting soft silver streaks across the plush cream carpet. The air was still thick with the lingering scent of gardenias and white roses, a delicate reminder of the wedding that had just taken place. Y/N stepped inside first, still wearing her gorgeous wedding gown, though she walked more slowly now than she had all day. The bustle of the reception had ended, the guests had gone to their nearby accommodations, and there, in the quiet hush of night, she and Lando were finally alone.

He closed the door behind them with a soft click, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You realize,” he said in a hushed tone, “that this is the first time we’ve been truly alone all day.”

She laughed gently, leaning back against one of the carved wooden bed posts. “I know. I feel like every time I turned around, someone was trying to talk to us, take a photo, or push another glass of champagne into my hand.”

Lando advanced toward her, and her breath caught in her throat. The day had been long—joyful, intense, and thrilling—but now the air seemed charged with a different kind of anticipation. His dark suit jacket was still on, the fabric slightly rumpled from the evening’s events.

Lando gently brushed his knuckles along her cheek, an affectionate gesture he had come to do so often in the past three years. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, his voice warm with concern and tenderness.

She opened her eyes, meeting the sea-green gaze of her new husband. A timid, excited smile curved her lips. “I’m perfect,” she whispered, stepping forward so she could rest her forehead against his. “But I’m also exhausted… in a good way. I still can’t believe this is real.”

Lando chuckled under his breath, the teasing spark that always danced in his eyes visible once again. “You better believe it, Mrs. Norris,” he said, letting the last two words hang in the air. He grinned when he noticed the faint flush on her cheeks. Even after everything, she still got shy whenever he said her new name.

She tried to look away, biting down on her bottom lip to stifle a bigger smile. “I’m still not used to hearing that,” she admitted.

“Well, you have a lifetime to get used to it.” His voice was warm, edged with quiet amusement. Instead of kissing her, he tilted his head slightly, letting the moment linger between them. Her gaze drifted downward, landing on his tie, which hung loosely around his neck—a familiar sight, one that carried memories of whispered goodbyes and hurried, stolen moments.

He followed her gaze and gave a small laugh. “Want to do the honors?” he asked, a teasing lilt in his voice.

Y/N flushed but nodded, motioning for him to step closer. Carefully, she began to loosen the tie from around his neck. Her knuckles brushed his throat, and she felt his pulse thrum under her fingertips.

“You know,” she teased, glancing up into his eyes, “I’ve done this so many times, but never as Mrs. Norris.”

A shiver of delight lit up his gaze. “Has a nice ring to it, huh?”

She swallowed, nodding. “It really does.”

His hands came up to gently rest on her waist, and a faint sigh escaped her lips. Outside, a nightingale trilled somewhere in the villa’s gardens. The music that had swirled throughout the day was gone, replaced by their own quiet breaths and the soft rustle of her gown as she shifted.

“You look breathtaking,” he murmured, stepping back an inch to take her in. The white lace and satin of her wedding dress still hugged her figure perfectly, though the train was slightly wrinkled from hours of dancing and walking around. “I can’t believe I got to see you walking down that aisle.”

She smiled shyly, remembering how his eyes had glistened with emotion during the ceremony. “I was so nervous,” she admitted. “Not because I was unsure of you, but just… the whole day felt so surreal. And now it’s over, and we’re actually here.”

Lando reached up, his fingers slipping into her hair with deliberate slowness, threading through the intricate twists and waves. He didn’t rush, just let his touch linger, savoring the feel of her beneath his hands. “Well, now we have tonight,” he murmured, his voice warm and low, “and every other night after that. But let’s start with tonight, yeah?”

She closed her eyes as his fingers brushed through her hair, reveling in the warmth that swept over her. “Mmm,” she murmured, “I’d like that.” She opened her eyes and gave him a soft smile, filled with love.

Y/N closed her eyes again as his finger tips slid gently into her hair. Pin by pin, he removed each hidden bobby pin and decorated comb. Occasionally, he would pause, carefully pulling out a pearl-tipped hairpin that made her wince slightly when it snagged on a few strands. Lando would whisper a soft apology, pressing a kiss to her temple and carrying on. It was slow, sweet work, and it made her shoulders loosen with every piece he freed.

Eventually, her hair tumbled down in soft waves around her shoulders. He ran his hands gently through it, smiling as he massaged her scalp. “There,” he breathed, admiring the sight of her with her hair out and her wedding dress still glowing in the moonlight. “You look so gorgeous.”

She rolled her eyes playfully, cheeks aflame, unable to handle just how fully and unabashedly he adored her. “You say that like you didn’t see me in my dress all day.”

“Call me greedy, but I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of it,” he teased, leaning in for another slow, tender kiss. “But as much as I love this dress on you…” He paused, letting his fingers trace the intricate lace at her shoulders. “I’m also incredibly eager to get you out of it.”

A bubble of laughter slipped past her lips. “Oh, Mr. Norris,” she teased back, doing her best to summon confidence. Even after all their time together, sometimes it still felt surreal that this charming, successful, impossibly handsome man was hers. “Think you can figure out how to get me out of it?”

Lando glanced at the hidden zipper. He gently turned her around so he could examine the elaborate array of tiny buttons that ran down the back. “Well… it might take a while,” he said, a slow grin spreading over his face. “I’m up for the challenge.”

She laughed, remembering the many times they had navigated zippers and tiny buttons over the years of their relationship. “I trust you haven’t forgotten your technique,” she teased, turning around so he could work on the hidden row of buttons trailing down her spine. “But do be careful—I don’t want you ripping the dress. My poor mother might have a heart attack if she heard.”

He pressed a playful kiss to the back of her neck, setting her skin alight. “Don’t worry, I’m still the same man who’s mastered the art of carefully getting you out of complicated outfits.”

Carefully, Lando’s fingers began working on the delicate row of buttons. It was fiddly and complicated, but his patience never wavered. He trailed tiny, adoring kisses down the back of her neck, across her shoulders, and along her spine whenever he managed to open another inch of the dress. Each time, she shivered. The warmth of his breath, combined with the electric sensation of his lips, shot tingles of anticipation through her body.

It took him a few moments of concentration. Every so often, one stubborn button would make her giggle as he struggled, and he’d lightly bite his lip in mock frustration. But eventually, her dress loosened around her torso. She shrugged her shoulders and let it slip down to her hips.

Lando stepped to her side, letting his hand graze from her bare shoulder down her arm in a comforting stroke. He’d seen her body countless times before; they were anything but strangers to one another in that aspect. Yet, the tenderness in his eyes made it feel like the first time all over again.

He noticed the slight stiffness in her posture. Her arms instinctively crossed over her chest, an old habit she’d never quite shaken. Gently, he placed his hands on top of hers, uncurling her arms. “Hey,” he said softly, sliding his palm against her cheek to angle her face toward him, “look at me.”

She blinked, looking up, her eyes laced with a hint of vulnerability.

He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “I love you,” he said, voice serious despite the smile playing on his lips. “All of you. Every inch of you—always have.”

Y/N’s throat constricted with emotion. She remembered the days she thought she’d end up alone, the times she firmly believed no man—especially one like Lando—would genuinely want her. And yet here he was, the man she once viewed as a charming playboy, revealing his true heart day after day.

She nodded slightly, letting him slip her dress the rest of the way down. He caught it before it hit the floor, placing it carefully across a chair so it wouldn’t crumple. When he turned back around, she stood there in her simple white lingerie, light shining on her warm skin. His gaze was filled with adoration.

“You’re breathtaking,” he said, reaching out to trace a slow circle along her waist. “I can’t believe I get to call you my wife now.” He exhaled softly, his gaze roaming over her. “Every part of you… I’m honestly a little overwhelmed just looking at you.”

“Overwhelmed?” she echoed, a quiet laugh blending with her disbelief.

He smiled back, smoothing his palms over her waist and up along her ribs, stopping just under her breasts. “Yes, overwhelmed,” he repeated, leaning in so his lips brushed against hers. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

Her heart squeezed at his confession. Remembering the times she doubted his intentions, or believed that he’d never truly settle down, it all felt distant now. “I love you,” she murmured. She was still shy; the difference was, now that they were married, she felt a deeper sense of belonging and trust.

He pulled her closer, pressing his chest to hers. The contact was a slow burn, warmth radiating from his body into hers, as though they were made to fit perfectly together. Y/N let her hands roam over his well-fitted suit jacket, fiddling with the single button he still had fastened at the waist.

“I think it’s my turn,” she teased, leaning in to brush a kiss on his collarbone, right at the base of his neck. She slid her hands up to push his suit jacket off. He let her do it, an amused glint shining in his eyes. She lingered, removing his cufflinks and sliding them onto the bedside table, then carefully unfastening the first few buttons of his shirt.

Her cheeks grew warm as she revealed inch after inch of his chest. Lando’s breath caught a little when her fingers grazed his skin. His voice, husky with desire, found its way back to her ears. “All these years and you still make me nervous,” he said quietly.

He let out a self-conscious chuckle, remembering the time he’d told her exactly how he felt on a quiet evening in London. How the mere thought of her had made him lightheaded. How he couldn’t get her out of his head, no matter how many races he won or how many practice laps he took. She was always there, the one person who truly saw him for who he was beyond fame. And, ironically, she was the one who had tried to push him away at first.

“Because…” He swallowed, pressing his forehead to hers once again. “I just want to make this night unforgettable. You… you deserve everything. Not just tonight, but for the rest of our lives.”

Y/N smiled against his lips, her fingers finally managing to peel his shirt away. She let her hand glide up his bare torso, feeling the soft planes and gentle ridges of muscle beneath her palm. “You’re here,” she reminded him. “That’s all I need.”

His warm laughter vibrated against her, and he lowered his head to kiss the tender spot at the base of her throat. “I’m so in love with you, it’s ridiculous,” he said, a grin brightening his features. “Now, wife… shall we make it official in every sense of the word?”

A wave of heat passed through her, and she nodded shyly. It was one thing to do this after three years of dating—intimate moments had come before, though they always seemed laced with a sense of wonder. But there was something profoundly different about sharing the first night as husband and wife, a sense of newness glowing between them. It felt both thrilling and comforting, like stepping into a future they had carved for themselves despite every obstacle.

They navigated their way toward the large four-poster bed draped in sheer white curtains. Candles flickered on the nightstand, their golden light giving the entire space a dreamlike aura. Lando helped Y/N onto the mattress as if she were the most precious thing in the world, pressing a kiss to her hand before stretching out beside her.

She let her eyes linger on him—the signature smile, his messy curls, the strong line of his jaw. “Can you believe we’re married?” she whispered, brushing a thumb across his cheek. “Like… actually married.”

He pressed a kiss into her palm. “It’s the best decision I’ve ever made,” he responded, voice thick with emotion. “I can’t wait for tomorrow, and the next day… and the rest of our lives.”

She exhaled a laugh of relief, burying her face into the crook of his neck. “I used to think you’d never want to settle down. I used to think… that you didn’t even like me.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Me? I’ve loved you since the moment you walked into that party and refused to laugh at my jokes,” he teased. “I’ve always teased you, but only because you’re so darn cute when you get riled up.” Then his tone softened. “If only I knew sooner how you felt… how insecure you were about us. I would have spent every second assuring you.”

She blinked back tears. “You’ve done a great job of reassuring me. I just… I guess I never thought you’d want something so permanent.”

He cupped her jaw, guiding her gaze to his. “I want permanent,” he whispered, a little breathless. “I want you.”

She felt the prickle of tears behind her eyes and brushed them away with the back of her hand. It was ridiculous how deeply in love she was with him, but after all the heartbreak and all the doubts, she had never been so certain of someone.

They kissed slowly, at first just a tender press of lips that slowly deepened. His hand ran down her back, tracing small circles. She let her body melt into his, feeling the tension of the day slip away. Her bare skin was flushed and tingling, but there was no panic this time when he ran his palm over the curve of her waist to the arch of her hips. She felt safe, cherished.

Their kisses became more fervent but still measured, each move a deliberate exploration of the warmth and closeness they now got to call theirs forever. She brushed her fingers through his curls, pulling him closer, her heart beating wildly as she let herself sink further into the mattress.

He paused only to hover above her, pressing his forehead to hers once more. “Any second thoughts?” he teased gently, though there was a hint of earnestness in his tone.

“Not one,” she replied, pulling him in for another kiss. She loved the weight of him, the way his breath hitched as she curled her leg around his hip. The soft hum of approval in his throat sent a delicious thrill through her body.

Lando’s lips brushed down her neck, feather-light and deliberate, sending shivers cascading through her body. God, he knew exactly how to make her melt. His breath was warm against her skin, and she felt his teeth graze her pulse point—just enough to make her gasp. His hands slid down her sides, his fingers tracing the curves of her hips as if he were memorizing her all over again. She arched into him, her heart pounding so loudly she was sure he could hear it.

Her breath hitched as his lips trailed lower, skimming the delicate expanse of her collarbone before finally reaching her chest. He paused there, his warm breath brushing against her skin, and she could feel the weight of his gaze as he took her in. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice rough with desire. His lips captured one nipple, and she let out a shaky moan, her fingers tangling in his curls.

Y/N couldn’t wait anymore. The tension had been building all day—hell, all year—and now it was too much. “Lando,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “Please… fuck me already.”

He chuckled softly—that same playful, teasing laugh that always drove her wild. “So impatient,” he murmured, his lips brushing against her chest as he spoke. “We’ve got all night, Mrs. Norris.” But even as he teased her, he was already moving, his hands sliding up her thighs as he shifted back to kneel between her legs.

He stood up briefly, his eyes never leaving hers as he unbuttoned his trousers and slid them down his legs, followed by his boxers. His cock sprang free, painfully hard, and she couldn’t help but bite her lip as she watched him. He was so beautiful, so perfectly hers, and the thought made her chest ache with emotion.

Lando leaned down again, his hands sliding under the waistband of her thong. “Let’s get these off,” he said softly, his voice thick with need. He slipped the delicate fabric down her legs, tossing it aside before letting his gaze roam over her. His eyes darkened as he took her in, and she felt a flush creep up her chest at the intensity of his stare.

“Why did you stop?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

He smiled, reaching out to brush his fingers along her inner thigh. “Just… let me look at you,” he said, his voice low and reverent. “I can’t believe you’re really mine.”

She squirmed under his gaze, her thighs pressing together as she fought the urge to close her legs. “Lando,” she pleaded, her voice breaking. “Please…”

He didn’t make her wait any longer. He hovered over her again, his body pressing into hers as he kissed her deeply. His hands cradled her face, his touch so tender it made her chest tighten. She felt the tip of his cock brush against her entrance, and she let out a soft whimper, her hips arching toward him.

“Is that good, baby?” he murmured against her lips, his voice rough with need.

“Yes,” she breathed, her hands clutching at his shoulders. “Please, Lando…”

He smiled, his eyes softening as he looked down at her. “I need to make love to you tonight,” he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. Slowly, he pushed into her, his movements deliberate and unhurried. She gasped, her nails digging into his back as she felt him stretch her, fill her completely.

He started slow, his thrusts deep and steady, each one drawing a shaky moan from her lips. His eyes never left hers, and the intensity of his gaze made her feel like she was the only person in the world. God, he was so gentle with her, so careful, and it made her chest ache with how much she loved him.

“You are so good to me… so good,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

He leaned down to kiss her, his lips soft and warm against hers. “And you’re perfect,” he murmured, his breath mingling with hers. His hips moved in a slow, steady rhythm, each thrust sending waves of pleasure through her body. She could feel the way he was holding back—how careful he was being—and it only made her love him more.

She was a moaning mess, her nails dragging down his back as she clung to him. His name fell from her lips in a breathless whisper, over and over, and he seemed to savor every sound she made. “Lando,” she gasped, her eyes fluttering shut as she felt the tension building inside her.

“Look at me,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. She opened her eyes, meeting his gaze, and felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes. He was so tender, so loving, and she couldn’t believe that this man—her husband—was finally hers. Forever.

She started to tear up, overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the moment. “I can’t believe this is real,” she whispered, her voice breaking.

He kissed her again, slow and deep, his hips never faltering. “It’s real,” he murmured against her lips. “You’re my wife now. And I’m never letting you go.”

She felt the tears spill over, but she didn’t care. She just held onto him, her body moving with his as he made love to her with a tenderness that left her breathless. “Lando,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I love you.”

He smiled, his eyes soft as he looked down at her. “I love you too,” he murmured, his voice filled with emotion. “More than anything.” His thrusts grew a little faster, a little harder, and she gasped, her hips arching toward him. “Is that good, baby?” he whispered, his voice rough with need.

“Yes,” she breathed, her nails digging into his back. “Yes, Lando…”

He kissed her again, his lips soft and warm against hers. “Good,” he murmured, his voice filled with emotion. “Because I’m never going to stop loving you.”

Lando returned to slow, measured movements, letting the moment stretch between them like something sacred. He moved inside her with a rhythm that was unhurried, deliberate, like he was memorizing every inch of her body all over again. His thrusts were deep, each one slow and steady, pushing her closer to the edge while still holding her there, suspended in the warmth of him. She could feel the way he savored every moment—pressing into her with tender care, pulling back just enough to make her ache for him. His hands slid up her sides, his fingers brushing over her ribs, his touch so soft it made her shiver.

“God, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice rough with desire, “you feel so... soft. So perfect.” His breath was hot against her neck, his lips grazing her skin as he spoke. He tipped his head back for a moment, his eyes closing as he sucked in a sharp breath. “I can’t believe you’re mine. All of you... like this... mine.”

She whimpered, her nails digging into the muscles of his back as she arched into him. The way he moved inside her was almost unbearable, his pace so slow, so deliberate, like he was trying to stretch every second into an eternity. She could feel every inch of him, every breath, every heartbeat, and it was too much and not enough all at once.

“Lando,” she whispered, her voice trembling, “I can’t...” She trailed off, her words dissolving into a broken moan as he pressed deeper, his hips rolling against hers in a way that made her body sing. “God, you’re... you’re so good to me... so good.”

He chuckled softly, his lips brushing against her collarbone. “And you’re... fucking amazing,” he breathed, his voice thick with emotion. He leaned back slightly, his eyes locking onto hers, and she could see the way he was holding himself back—how careful, how deliberate he was being. His hands slid down to her hips, his fingers gripping her tightly as he pulled her closer, his thrusts still slow, still deep.

Her breath hitched, her chest tightening with how much she loved him. She could feel the tears building again, her eyes stinging as she looked up at him. “I can’t believe this is real,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I can’t believe we’re... here... like this...”

He smiled, his eyes softening as he looked down at her. “It’s real,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. His thumb brushed along her hip bone, his touch so gentle it made her heart ache. “You’re my wife, Y/N. And I’m... God, I’m so in love with you.”

She choked on a sob, her hands reaching up to cup his face. “I love you too,” she whispered, her voice trembling. Her palms were warm against his skin, and she could feel the way his breath hitched when he leaned into her touch. She pulled him down for a kiss, her lips soft against his, her heart pounding in her chest.

He kissed her back with a tenderness that made her chest ache, his thrusts never faltering. His hands slid up her back, pulling her closer until there was no space left between them. She could feel the way his body trembled against hers, the way his breath came in shaky gasps. But he was still so careful, so slow, as if he was scared of breaking her.

“You feel... incredible,” he whispered, his voice trembling. His hips moved faster, his thrusts deeper, and she could feel the tension building inside her. She was so close, so close, and she could see it in his eyes too—the way he was struggling to hold on.

“Lando,” she gasped, her fingers tangling in his curls as she pulled him closer. “I’m so close... please...”

He moaned low in his throat, his thrusts quickening just enough to send her over the edge. “Come with me,” he whispered, his voice rough with need. “Please, Y/N... come with me.”

And she did. Her body shattered as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her, her nails digging into his skin, her lips parting in a silent scream. She could feel him tense above her, hear his sharp intake of breath as he climaxed too, his body shuddering against hers. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, his lips brushing against her skin as they rode out the waves together.

When it was over, when the world had righted itself again, he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. She could feel the way his heart raced against her chest, hear the way his breath came in shaky gasps. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, his lips lingering for a moment before he finally spoke.

“You’re my wife,” he murmured, his voice filled with wonder. “My wife.” She could hear the smile in his voice, the way the weight of it seemed to settle over him. “I love you so much, Y/N. More than anything.”

She smiled, her eyes fluttering shut as she pressed her face into his chest. “I love you too,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. His arms tightened around her, and she could feel the way his body relaxed against hers. She sighed contentedly, her heart still racing as he pressed another soft kiss to her hair.

His hand brushed over her back, his fingertips grazing her skin as he tangled his legs with hers. “Sleep,” he said softly, his voice warm and filled with tenderness. “We’ve got forever, you and me.” She nodded, her eyes closing as a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. His arms tightened around her, and within moments, everything melted away in the quiet comfort of the night.

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tsxkkis · 8 months ago

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# tsukishima kei - perfect match

a/n: watch me suddenly appear out of nowhere after the school year has finally ended to post something!! i'm sure absolutely no one is surprised that tsukishima is the centre of this fic, but tbh idk how to feel about it (it's definitely longer than my usual ones but i didn't proofread it, so idk if the lenght is an advantage or not) but i hope you'll like it ^^ with school being over for the next two months i'll finally have time to write, so expect more works soon!!

summary: you and tsukishima decide to help your friends get together, but the plan is long forgotten when you realize what your own feelings are.

warnings: nothing really, canon yamayachi (my loves), some light swearing, bad writing

tsukishima kei did not expect any of his friends to bother him in the middle of the night. hell, he didn't even expect any of them to disturb his alone time at all. and yet at exactly 2.34 in the morning, right as he was about to turn off his currently binge watched tv show and go to sleep, he felt his phone buzzing on the nightstand.

his eyes focused on your name, written in white font on his phone screen, surely shocked by the sight.

'why are you calling me at 2 in the goddamn morni-'

'is yamaguchi interested in anyone?'

your question caught him off-guard even more than the call itself, his brows furrowing in a weirded-out look.

'if you're asking for yourself, i'm positive that he is not interested.'

tsukishima heard a sigh of annoyance on the other side of the call and could only imagine the exact look on your face in this very moment.

'well, thank god, because i'm not asking for myself.' you said. there were muffled sounds of someone preparing food in the background. 'i'm asking for yachi.'

the blonde boy smiled unconsciously.

'he does like her.' the boy stated, turning off his laptop as he put it back on the desk. 'so much so, in fact, that it can be kind of annoying sometimes.'

you squealed with excitement, a giggle leaving your mouth at tsukishima's remark.

'perfect! now, listen carefully.'

that singular phone call created an alliance between you and kei. an alliance with only one goal; getting your two best friends to finally confess to each other. to both of you, it was almost infuriating how blind they were; how they didn't notice just how obvious it was that they both shared the same feeling. constant blushing at as little as a mention of the other's name, the stolen glances, the very obvious pining - all of it seemed to be non-existent in the eyes of both yamaguchi and yachi.

but lucky for them, you had a plan.

his eyes lingered on you for a few seconds, as if awaiting a sign from you. tsukishima still thought of your 'master plan' as rather silly, but seeing the determination on your face, and the frown that appeared when he called your idea stupid was enough for him to sigh and go with it this once.

the four of you were currently occupied with studying for a math test coming up next week, everyone nose deep in their notebooks. well, everyone except for kei.

the boy cleared his throat almost theatrically, drawing the attention of the three of you.

'yamaguchi, i think i'll have to pass on the movies this weekend.' he said, the tone of his voice as lifeless as ever. 'akiteru insisted that i go to one of his games, so i guess you'll have to take someone else.'

the freckled boy looked a little troubled upon hearing the information. both you and tsukishima were well aware that the tickets to the cinema were already paid for; yamaguchi would definitely be sad if it all went to waste.

'well, i guess i can ask hina-'

'yachi, didn't you tell me last week that you wanted to go to the movies with someone?' you barged in before the boy could even finish his sentence, your friend freezing in her spot at the mention of a conversation you had not that long ago, cheeks flushed pink at the mere thought of going somewhere with yamaguchi one-on-one. 'maybe you'd fill in for tsukki?'

the girl glanced at you, panic in her eyes as an awkward silence filled the room, everyone waiting for her to answer. you gave her an encouraging smile, as if trying to non-verbally tell her to go for it, to use this as a chance to get closer to the boy she liked for so long.

'if yamaguchi doesn't mind...' she mumbled quietly, head turning to face the boy who was already shaking his head.

'of course i don't.' yamaguchi smiled, his small dimples showing up in the process.

you glanced over to look at tsukishima, a triumphant smile on your face as if you just won a volleyball tournament. his hair was slightly messy, and his glasses were sliding off his nose, two of the top buttons on his school uniform unbuttoned, showing a bit of his collarbones. surprisingly enough, the blonde boy smiled back; a small, quick smile that your eyes barely noticed. you had no idea what it was, but something about that singular smile made your heart beat faster.

don't. the main focus of this entire thing is to get yachi and yamaguchi together. not to think of tsukishima and how attractive he looks-

shit.

developing a crush on tsukishima kei was certainly not part of your plan.

at first, you tried ignoring it as much as you could, focusing solely on your friends and getting them to date. as time went on and yamaguchi and yachi started getting closer, you almost felt a sense of relief - you could finally stop spending so much time around tsukishima, which made your chances of getting over your stupid crush higher.

but it wasn't as easy as you thought. tsukishima was intelligent, pretty, and his snarky remarks and judgy personality actually drew you to him even more with each passing day. through the countless conversations and numerous phone calls, he proved himself to be more than just a salty, mean guy that everyone viewed him as.

'soon enough, they won't even need our help.' you mumbled to yourself as you opened your bento box, a smile on your face as you noticed your mom homemade onigiri inside. 'i don't know what i'll do with myself then.'

tsukishima scoffed, closing the textbook in front of him.

'maybe start focusing on your own love life for once.'

'hey! it's not my fault that i'm a good friend.' you stated, mouth full of food, as you looked up at your friend sitting on the opposite side of the table, looking through the tasks assigned for next week. 'besides, it's not like i'm the only one.'

tsukishima adjusted his glasses, looking up at you for a mere second before focusing back on his notebook.

'touché.'

'oh, come on.' you whined out, dissatisfied with the lack of response from the blonde boy. 'you won't miss this even a little bit?'

alright, maybe just a bit-

'no.' tsukishima stated firmly, fixing his posture as he highlighted one of the important sentences written down. you heard a bit of hesitation in his voice, and the few seconds of silence before hearing an answer couldn't help but make you wonder. you decided to ignore it this time - he was focused on something else right now, there was no need to disturb him.

'do you think yachi will like my outfit?'

tsukishima was sitting at the edge of his best friend's bed, mindlessly scrolling through his phone and occasionally looking up to see the twelfth - no, thirteenth shirt that yamaguchi has tried on already. the boy sighed, turning his device off.

'it's your first official date, i'm sure she doesn't mind what you wear.' he stated, gaining a frown from yamaguchi.

'you didn't answer my question.'

'alright, i think she'll like it.' the blonde haired boy said, reaching out for a bag of chips, opening it with a loud sound. 'but i'm sure she'll focus more on the date itself rather than what you're wearing.'

ever since announcing to their friends that they're going on their first official date, both yamaguchi and yachi were full of stress, constantly overthinking every little detail from their outfit to whether or not the date will go well or not. tsukishima found it rather comical - it was only a date after all. why stress over it so much? he never went on one, obviously, but he always thought that when the day came, he'd approach it calmly.

'do you have any tips on how to not freak out?' yamaguchi asked suddenly, catching his friend off-guard. 'during the date, i mean.'

'how can i know? i've never gone on one.'

the freckled boy looked at tsukishima, a confused expression on his face as he processed his words.

'oh.' he paused for a second, his voice quieter when he continued speaking. 'i thought you and y/n were, you know, a thing.'

huh?

to say tsukishima was shocked was an understatement. he genuinely had no idea what to say; he never even let a thought of you and him being more than friends, 'partners in crime', as you loved to say, slip through his mind. never did it occur to him that someone from the outside would see your relationship as being something more than a merely platonic one.

well, maybe there was something to it after all.

yamaguchi's words made him wonder - although he did find you annoying at times, it was only occasionally and to a very little degree. that in itself was very rare in tsukishima's eyes, as he found most of the people surrounding him at least normally annoying. you, on the other hand, were a completely different case. your jokes, no matter how awkward or downright cringe, made him crack a silent laugh more often than not, and every time he saw you smile, his lips uncontrollably curved up into a small, barely noticeable one themselves.

'oh, no, absolutely not.' the blonde blurted out after a long minute of silence, the tips of his ears turning a bright shade of red. 'there is not a single bone in my body that would want to date her. now get up idiot, or you'll be late to your date.'

the moment tsukishima opened his bedroom, after walking his friend to the bus stop, he immediately plopped down on his bed, phone in hand, instinctively opening messages to write to you. surprisingly enough, a message was already waiting for him.

'yachi almost cried because of how stressed she is T-T'

'do you think we should spy on them to make sure it all goes well?'

he found himself smiling at the words on his phone screen, quickly typing back an answer.

'do you really not have a life of your own?'

'idiot.'

only after a few minutes did he get a response from you.

'can i come over?? i'm bored :33'

a harmless message, one might think. in reality, tsukishima was freaking out at the mere thought of hanging out with you for a reason other than setting up your friends, his cheeks a light shade of pink as his eyes kept digging a hole through his phone.

you weren't any better than him - hands slightly shaky as you awaited a response for what felt like hours, but was actually just a few minutes. you had no idea what took over you; was it a sudden wave of bravery or rather an idiotic spontaneous choice to ask tsukishima that. but nonetheless, when you finally got the response, you felt ecstatic.

'alright.'

'bring some snacks.'

'kei, i think yamaguchi is he- oh, that's certainly a new face.'

you stood in front of the door with an awkward smile, facing tsukishima's older brother, akiteru, his eyes scanning you from head to toe. to say he was surprised was an understatement - he looked as if he'd seen a ghost. as if a friend that's not yamaguchi coming over to tsukishima's house was so out of the ordinary that it could become a national holiday.

'come in.' the younger male appeared in the back of the hall, an oversized dinosaur shirt and shorts on. his expression was softer than usual; not until he looked at his brother, whom he gave a sharp stare, signaling him to let you inside and don't make such a fuss about it.

you sat down on his bed, awkward silence filling up the room. not wanting to make the conversation about your friends as per usual, you slowly realized you don't know what to talk about, trying to think of something, anything, as you began unpacking your bag filled with snacks.

surprisingly enough, it was tsukishima who spoke up first.

'wanna watch a movie?' he asked, opening his drawer to pull out two bottles of soda, hidden there so that his brother doesn't devour all of them. 'unless it'll make you even more bored than you were before.'

'well, if you have a boring taste in movies-'

'says the one who looks like their favorite movie is mamma mia.' tsukishima scoffed under his breath, turning his laptop on and starting to search up movies. you looked at him, a dramatic expression as you pretended to be offended.

'and you look like you're about to mansplain the godfather to me.'

a short silence filled the room before you heard the blonde boy let out a short, muffled laugh at your comment.

'you couldn't be more wrong.' he sat down next to you, a small smile still on his face. 'i found it kind of boring, actually.'

'what do you like, then?'

'horror movies.' tsukishima stated, eyes focused on the screen. 'but tadashi gets easily scared, so i often don't have a chance to watch them.'

'same with me and yachi.' you said, unconsciously scooping a bit closer to the boy as you tried to get a better look at what he was searching up. 'i love them, but yachi jumps at every small scare on the screen. sometimes, she even gets scared when there's nothing happening at all.'

'they really do match each other.' he mumbled, putting the laptop on the bed as he pressed play on a movie he chose. his eyes quickly glanced your way to get a nod of approval on his choice.

'yeah, they do.'

and we could, too.

'are you and tsukishima dating?'

you almost spat out your drink, the words coming out of hinata's mouth catching you so off-guard you were close to choking.

the three of you, along with kageyama, were currently cleaning up after volleyball practice, the boys racing on who would clean more balls off of the floor.

'no, we're not.' you said in a clearly sad tone with an obvious hint of dissatisfaction in your voice. 'what the hell made you think that way?'

the orange haired boy stopped in his tracks, his signature smile disappearing for a minute as he got lost in his own thoughts.

'oh! i remember now.' he said after a short while, his grin coming back. 'yamaguchi told me that you two are close.'

'he did also mention that he seems happier around you.' kageyama added, joining the conversation. 'seeing tsukishima happy must be pretty scary.'

not really, you thought. but at the same time, what confused you more was what kageyama said right before.

he seems happier around you.

yamaguchi has been kei's friend for the longest time, so any of his observations must be true, or at least that's what you liked to believe. but would that mean that tsukishima kei, the salty, closed-off guy whom everyone finds intimidating could possibly like you? was there truly a possibility that he enjoyed spending time with you?

as you finished cleaning up the hall, saying your goodbyes to your two friends who ran off to practice volleyball somewhere else, a familiar, tall figure appeared in the doorframe, sharp eyes staring at you with an expression that you couldn't exactly decipher.

'want me to walk you home?' he asked, hands in his pockets. 'it's getting late.'

you looked at him, trying to hide the blush creeping up onto your cheeks before quickly nodding as an answer.

'sure, let's go.'

most of the walk was filled with silence on both parts, exactly as you expected. even though it might've felt awkward for some, you did enjoy his presence in itself enough that a conversation wasn't necessary.

the boy stopped in his tracks mid-way, reaching into his backpack and pulling out his phone and an old pair of white, wired earphones, showing them to you as a silent question of whether you wanted to listen to music with him or not. you agreed without a second thought, a small smile on your face as he put on one of his playlists.

'i really like this song.' you mumbled, eyes lighting up upon hearing the familiar melody. with both of you wearing the same set of headphones right now, you were practically forced to walk closer to each other - hands constantly brushing against one another, a faint blush on your face as you tried to ignore it and focus on the music.

tsukishima, on the other hand, couldn't shake away the thoughts roaming around his head. he felt as if what he was doing now was incredibly unlike him; and maybe it was. but for some reason, he didn't mind being like this around you. less cocky, sarcastic, mean and more... gentle.

he could feel his fingers brushing against yours from time to time, and it drove him crazy. should he go for it and play it off nonchalantly, or just ignore it? should he even make the first move or wait for you to do it?

before he was able to decide, tsukishima felt your hand reaching for his, heart rate immediately speeding up as your fingers shyly intertwined with his, looking the other way to hide your anxious expression.

his hand was much bigger than yours, but somehow it fit perfectly with yours. as if they were created solely to hold one another and nothing else. the plan to get your friends to be together was long forgotten by now - your mind was clouded with thoughts of tsukishima only, and little did you know that his wasn't any different.

you glanced his way only to find his eyes already on you, hiding his true feelings behind a nonchalant look. only now did you notice that the two of you were standing in front of your house, the boy adjusting his glasses as he waited to see what you'll do next.

'i guess i should go home now.' you mumbled, but you still didn't move an inch, hand not leaving his. 'see you tomorrow?'

his hand squeezed yours tightly before taking it away, an unusually warm and welcoming smile on his face.

'sure. see you tomorrow, idiot.'

but as you slowly made your way towards the door, tsukishima couldn't shake away the feeling in him, telling him to go for it. and as much as he tried to resist it, he just couldn't anymore.

'wait.’

before you could fully turn away, tsukishima kei's lips were already on yours, a sweet, long kiss that felt as if he was waiting to do it for years. his hand traveled to your waist and it didn't take long for you to react; lips moving swiftly with his, noses bumping into one another before you pulled away, a giggle escaping your mouth as you saw just how red tsukishima's face was.

‘don't laugh at me, moron.’ he said, immediately catching the reason for your laughter as he flicked you in the forehead. ‘your whole face is red, too.’

‘i didn't expect you to do this.’ you mumbled, eyes focused on his as you reached to hold his hand again. ‘didn't expect my feelings to be mutual, either.’

‘i'm glad we feel the same.’ his face leaned in closer to yours, a wave of confidence taking over him as he placed a short kiss on your forehead. ‘but i would still prefer to properly ask you out. if you'd say yes, that is.’

‘of course i would.’ you smiled, ‘i'd be stupid not to.’

‘should we bet on how long it takes the others to realize we're dating now?’ tsukishima smiled at you, eyes not leaving yours for even a spare second. you laughed at his idea, giving his hand a squeeze.

‘get ready to lose, kei.’

‘you wish.’

taglist: @moonswolfie

#tsxkkis #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #karasuno x reader #tsukishima fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff

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bunny-jpeg · 30 days ago

Text

the bow pose

carlos sainz jr

request: vday prompts - 63 and carlos please <3 63. “wow, i didn’t realize you were that...flexible.”

tags: smut/pwp, yoga positions, flexibility, floor/living room sex, modified doggy style

eros (the valentine's day collection)

carlos knew you were a woman of many talents. from your ability to measure the liquor in a cocktail perfectly on the first try, or how you could tell what hour it was from the position of the sun. it was small things that made carlos very impressed with you.

while you'd fluff it off, and tell him it was little things you picked up, carlos was always eager to give you praise. the small things, the large things, everything! but what made his jaw drop was one sunny winter afternoon when he came back from williams testing. and found you in a proper yoga pose.

but not just any pose, the bow pose.

carlos' eyes went wide at the sight of you. you were in a sports bra and atheltic leggings and the way your body bent made him almost drop his williams' branded water bottle.

you noticed him and then slowly dropped the pose. your muscles relaxed and that only enticed him more. especially when you let out a small moan in relaxation. you extended your arms out and propped your top half up as you looked at him with a smile, "hey, honey! how was testing?"

he nodded and put his belongings on the couch, "always perfect. they're great." he tried to brush off how you looked, the cobra position didn't help either. it would still give him easy access to your sweet body. he gave you the once over before he said, “wow, i didn’t realize you were that...flexible."

you chuckled, "i'm a bit rusty. i did it all the time as a teen to keep my body moving. all those joint problems i had in my teens." you exhaled as you stretched your back a little more, "got lazy with it post graduation, but now that you're getting back to proper shape for the season. i should to the same thing."

carlos approached, socked feet padded on the hardwood floor of the rental home you were sharing for the next little while. when he got close enough,he crouched down and spread his hand across your exposed back. he licked his lips, "you look good. hot in all these positions."

you giggled and dropped your top half onto the floor and bent your knees to raise them a little to stretch out your lower back. carlos' gaze grew hungrier. your eyes closed for a moment, but quickly re-opened when you felt him behind you and his hands on your hips.

he raised your hips a little and pressed your soft behind against his clothed cock. he made a face like he was gauging his ability to fuck you in this position, "next time." he said, "i'm really going to see how flexible you are." then pressed into you which caused your back to arch.

you let out a small moan and carlos eyed your behind for a moment before he squeezed the flesh with his hand. the action made your stomach clench and you felt an uptick of excitement in you.

"do you want me?"

"yes."

"good." he said lowly before he took your leggings off of you, he pulled them all the way off before he tossed them towards the couch. he then rubbed up against you. the rough denim of his jeans up against your ass made you moan. he added, "you sound beautiful, i bet you were loud when you got into those positions. i bet you thought about me." his tone was heated and it left you with a lingering want between your legs.

"carlos, fuck." you arched your back a little and felt the flutter of want in your core. thankfully the yoga mat was under your body or else you'd be a lot more achy come morning. you looked over your shoulder at him and saw how hungry he had become for you.

you never knew that carlos liked this. you helped him get your panties off and with your lower half exposed, he pressed your top half further into the mat.

he said, "if it starts to hurt, tell me." and you nodded. he then gripped the back of your neck a little tighter and said, "use your words."

you exhaled and swore, it was arousing. you then said, "yes, of course, carlos." and he let go of you to get himself out of his jeans. he teased your slit soon after, he rubbed the achy tip against your sweet entrance.

"feels amazing as always." he said, "there is something about you i cannot deny. from the moment i met you, i knew i had to have you. all over you. and to see you bend the way you do only turns me on more." his breathing grew heavier as he sank his cock into you. you easily split open for him, letting himself get snug between your thighs.

pussy that felt like heaven, he could taste the pleasure in his throat now with both hands on your hips. he loomed over you as he started to move his hips, slow yet forceful thrusts against you.

"perfect." he purred.

you could feel the climb of pleasure in your core as he felt like he shook your foundation. there was nothing quite like him. never have been anyone like him. and there never will be anyone like him. the feeling was euphoric in a certain way that had you moaning loudly.

sex with carlos was almost an exciting affair, the type that pulled you in each time you did it. you clung onto the edge of the yoga mat and let carlos arch your back a little more to give you both the pleasure you desired. it was hot, it was an achy heat that left your mouth spilling words of heated lust.

"please, carlos. fuck, i didn't know it would make you feel this good. i should've done yoga sooner." you chuckled as your grip on the mat tightened the more than carlos moved himself against you. your breaths were heavy pants and you loved the feeling of him on top of you.

you hated to admit it, even though you couldn't look at him in the position. you loved doggy style quite a bit, it just hit all the right places and made your head spin. carlos was good at that, making your soul thrum with sexual desire and wanted.

they didn't associate him with a hot pepper for nothing. often left your cheeks hotter than the chili itself. you dropped your head to the met and let its softness keep your cheek comfortable while carlos continued to thrust into you, marginally picking up speed.

"always sound so sweet for me."

you couldn't help it. you felt like you were adding to the arousal. but in reality it felt like your brain didn't know what to do with all the added pleasure other than to let carlos know how good he made you feel. his special talent, making his girlfriend squirm and moan.

but you knew if it all became too much, to let him know. there was no issue if he just flooded your head a little too much with the rush of pleasure. he kissed your back, the spots were the bra straps didn't cover. he could almost feel your heartbeat in your back. he held on a little tighter and you moaned louder.

"and you feel amazing too, my love." his voice hot in your ear, "how you move, how you bend. all positions for me to fuck you in." he chuckled lowly, "you'd let me stretch, bend and fuck you to my liking. isn't that right?"

you swore under your breath. pleasure felt heavy in your gut as he continued to fuck you, his pace much faster and left your head feeling in a stir as his cock bullied himself up inside of your beautiful pussy. who the hell allowed him to fuck you so good, to know exactly how to make you feel good.

the pleasure only grew in your as you pressed your cheek further against the mat and let him have full control of your slick pussy. the sounds of fucking filled the living room. you two were going at it, the pace quickened as you both felt closer to your climaxes. it was intense, the fire swarmed through your belly as it throbbed in your head.

"please carlos." you panted as you felt the tension in you grow. the sexual desire for him mounted and it wasn't much longer before you felt it all splash you. and you came around his cock.

"that's it, that's it." he cooed as he continued to fuck you. his pace left you breathless as the shudder of pleasure coursed through you. it felt amazing, you felt amazing. a piece of heaven all blissed out under him.

he kissed your back once more and felt the rapid thumping in his chest as he got close. he gave you a searing kiss at the back of your neck as he slammed his entire length into you and finished inside of you.

"fuck."

"i love you." he said hotly as he stopped his movements and let himself hold you by the waist for a few more moments. he pressed more kissed against your back and whispered sweet praises of his love to you. it sounded beautiful until he managed to pull his head away and loudly exhale.

it took a lot out of him, especially after the day of racing. he pulled away and rested himself on his heels while your hips dropped to the mat. you got onto your back and looked around to find your bottoms. but you had a feeling they wouldn't be found until morning.

carlos said as he pushed his sweaty hair out of his face and chuckled, "next time, i'm really going to see how flexible you are." he admired you before you pulled him in by the shirt. your lips crashed into one another and he groaned into the kiss

when you pulled away, you asked him, "why don't we find out right now?" <3

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haologram · 2 months ago

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stairway to the stars ☆ l.jh [m]

⤷ part of 'a very seventeen christmas' secret santa event! synopsis: your husband has always been supportive of your dreams - from the sidelines. he stays to himself, he keeps his mouth shut. it's you that can't stop running yours when your co-star is all over him. genre: established relationship au, tiny bit of angst, fluff, smut? pairing: husband!lee jihoon x actress!fem!reader word count: 1.5k...it pained me to stop it here. rating: 18+. minors do not interact. warnings: mentions of jealousy, ideation of infidelity, general relationship dynamics. clit play, kissing, in the backseat...you know the vibes. what to listen to: stargirl interlude - the weeknd, lana del rey ; never lose me - flo milli ; the boy is mine - monica, brandy. author's note: hi baby @monamipencil ♡ i hope you enjoy my little segment for you! i did 1000% pull this out of thin air but please let me know if there is ever anything else i can write for you. much love from your secret santa. ♡

"Don't forget about me, sweetheart." It was one of the few phrases your husband burned in your brain when your career really started taking off. He'd only been your boyfriend then, trying his hardest to prove himself worthy of your affections and time. You promised you wouldn't, over shared bottles of heady Cabernet and stolen kisses. The following years proved most difficult – from fighting over not spending enough time together because of your jobs, to vacationing for months on end without repercussions – you were rising to the top way too fast for him to wrap his head around it.

But never once did his love, loyalty, or respect for you falter. He watched quietly from the sidelines, silently supportive of all your endeavors. He'd grimace inwardly a bit if your lipstick stained anyone else's lips on the big screen, he'd clear his throat one too many times if you shed any tears during a scene. He held your waist at events, a silent reminder that your ascend up the stairway to the stars was in good company.

When you finally got a bit of time for yourself, he made it his priority to become someone more permanent in your life. With eyes that never strayed and a heart that only beat for you, he proposed softly as the two of you took a midnight stroll for the first time in a long time. He apologized for not making it something grand, promising your wedding would be to die for and he'd pull every string possible to give you the honeymoon of your dreams – only for you to stop his rambling with a teary kiss to his lips. Telling your friends the news of the proposal was an exciting feat, until it fell on the ears of multiple of your co-stars. You hadn't ever even spoken of a boyfriend (you had, they just didn't remember), and a few of the men you'd worked with questioned the validity of your engagement, of your relationship – and it eventually got back to Jihoon. Whispers of the startup CEO dating an actress filled his office, side-eyed glances made him uneasy in his own skin and he hated it – he hated that people wouldn't mind their own business.

Needless to say, it pissed him off. He'd never been openly possessive, but a part of him knew that neither of you had an issue understanding where you stood in each other's lives. From dating, to girlfriend, to wife – you'd always been open about who Jihoon was to you and what his presence meant. You never shied away from answering his questions if any, and you proudly presented him as your significant other if he managed to attend any of your events. This alone was enough for the two of you to realize that people in your industry didn't take relationships too seriously, and enough for you to hard-launch your relationship by posting your wedding photos on social media.

The industry did not like that, but you didn't care. You and your agent continued to book role after role, your husband continuing to grow his business and make a name for himself in the world of music production…a stepping stone for him, and the first moment of blood-boiling jealousy you'd ever experienced at the side of Lee Jihoon.

Her hand was on his shoulder as they spoke music, and he swiftly moved out of her grasp, sure. The dance floor was full of couples, a dance floor you'd intended to whisk him onto after reapplying your lipstick in the washroom. Someone Like You by Van Morrison played as you stood a few feet away, your face contorted in a fit of envy as you saw your husband push her hand away, the words I'm married, please don't touch me falling from his lips. The woman grimaced – the same woman you'd starred alongside for three seasons of the very same show you were all celebrating a renewal for tonight – and she shrugged her shoulders, before the dreaded words fell from her own red lips.

"So? She doesn't have to know."

Jihoon looked taken aback, and it was almost like he was a moth drawn to a flame – his eyes landed on you, and the way your jaw was tight with anger as you made your way over.

"Soyoung, nice to see you. Did you lose something here, dearest?" You speak softly, staring at your co-star with eyes of fire. She gave you a sleazy smirk, shaking her head. "Not at all, Y/N. Enjoying the party?" "It's lovely, isn't it? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling a bit under the weather." You gave her a tight smile, your hand wrapping around Jihoon's wrist watch as you pulled him away. He'd never seen you in such a state, eager to get him out of the venue and into the backseat of the black car waiting for you. Your arms were crossed as you sat facing away from him, before he made eye contact with the driver. He raised his brow, and the driver nodded, swiftly raising the partition as Jihoon turned to face you.

"Something bothering you, sweetheart?" He saw the way your shoulders tensed under the wine red straps of your dress, your legs crossed at the knee baring the skin of your thigh under the slit of the skirt. You gave him a glance through the corner of your eye, your lip jutted out in a pout as he cooed at you, making you huff in embarrassment.

"I don't like her." You mutter, "I don't like what she said and I don't like how she was all over you. She's literally my co-star. She knows we're married." "As much as I like your little pout and think you're adorable, I don't like that you're upset. You know I'd never wrong you, especially not like that." He tilts his head at you, making you pinch the bridge of your nose. "I know, Ji. I know." He's not satisfied with your answer, his hand reaching over to graze your knee, biting back his smile at the way your shoulders lose their tension at his touch. Your jaw remains tight, shaking your head in disbelief. "We've been co-stars for three years. You'd think she'd have some fucking respect for me." You were always so calm and collected, never too outwardly expressive of your disdain for people or their actions. He feels almost guilty for the growing tightness in his pants as you click your tongue, facing him as his fingers trace circles into your skin. "You're literally my husband. That's how I introduced you. My husband, Jihoon. Not Lee Jihoon, not the CEO of Ruby Productions, my husband. She's so shameless, I almost pity her." You tongue your cheek with a humorless laugh, and he can't help but feel his cheeks heat at the visual. He's silent as you run a hand through your hair, your earrings swinging as you shake your head again, giving him a pitiful smile.

"I'm sorry, I know this is out of character." You sigh, leaning your head on his shoulder. He nods, shifting slightly as your hand splays across his thigh. You press a kiss to his cheek, stamping your lipstick on his pale skin when you notice the flush on his cheeks. He clears his throat as you stare at him, a look of disbelief glossing over your eyes as you gape at him.

"You liked it?" "In my defense, you're hot when you're mad." He scoffs embarrassedly, making you huff out a laugh. "Jihoon." "I'm sorry." He presses a kiss to your temple as you roll your eyes. "Are you?" "No." He smiles against your skin, and you feel your cheeks heat as he trails his lips down your neck. "I love you, sweetheart. Just you." "I know, Ji." You sigh, feeling a bit of heat pool in your lower belly as he nips at your shoulder with a hum. "I don't think you do. Maybe I should remind you." Your cheeks grow hot as he gently pulls your thigh over his, his teeth nipping at the shell of your ear as he snaps the waistband of your underwear against your hip. "Now you know how I feel. Everyone always has their hands all over you, like you're not spoken for." You shudder as he slips his fingers under the cotton fabric, smirking against your skin as your hand wraps around his watch. You bite down on your lip as his finger traces your clit, your nails barely digging into his wrist. "Ji, not here." Your body betrays your words, your grip on his wrist loosening as he pulls your thigh higher on his lap. "Why? Aren't you mine?" His voice is sultry as you shiver against him, slim fingers collecting your arousal while he nips at your ear.

"Yes, but-" "Oh, there's a but?" He slides a finger inside you easily, your words getting caught in your throat as you whimper. "Hoonie…" "Tell you what, pretty." He slips his hand out as the car slows to stop, the front of the hotel you're staying at coming into view. "We're going to go upstairs and you're gonna take this dress off for me, and I'll show you who the brightest star in my sky is. Go."

You nearly stumble as your husband walks out behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist as he bids the driver goodbye. You feel his teeth on your shoulder, his voice low as he speaks into your ear.

“And keep those heels on for me."

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goomyloid · 3 months ago

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(original au post was getting kind of long... so time for a new one)

something happy for a change? kanako, stuck in her timeloop still, suddenly arrives upon a happier ending, in which clover decides to stay in the underground.

(more info below as always)

~ Sunshine Ending (Sunflower)

after the horrifying events of the previous ending (in which the ketsukane estate burns down with the two inside of it), kanako wakes up once more the very moment she died in that house.

isn't this becoming too much...? how long can she go on like this? the one time she tried to use force to make clover stay, it ended in disaster. she didn't want this.

that is, of course, until ceroba finally steps in. she finds her daughter like this and realizes that something is definitely going on. she puts away her lab coat, casting her research aside for the moment. some things are more important; she can't believe she let herself forget that. kanako needs her.

so, they start going outside and into town together. starlo and his crew are delighted to see ceroba out and about for once... she'd really become more of a hermit these past few years.

for once, kanako isn't alone. so when she spots a particular bluebird accompanying a human in Oasis Valley, she thinks that this could actually be her chance. things are different, now...

and things do play out differently. or, maybe more familiarly...? starlo sees a trusty sharpshooter deputy in clover and takes them in for training. ceroba is able to start off on the right foot with clover as well, being able to see them more as a person than an opportunity for research.

but maybe most importantly, kanako gets the chance to grow close to clover more naturally, as true friends. there's no rush or desperate force like before; for once, it seems like clover actually wants to stay.

with all of them together, kanako realizes why.

ah... i think i understand now. having one friend is good, but that's not really what you wanted, was it?

you... wanted a family, right? support, and company... more than just me alone.

it feels like there should be a sting there -- kanako not being "enough" to get clover to stay -- but strangely, it really doesn't hurt. seeing clover happy, having fun, making friends...

after last time, this feels like all she could have ever asked for.

the two become like siblings. (where have I heard this before?) they get into Shenanigans and all that fun stuff. the ketsukane estate is admittedly far nicer than the breaking house starlo and co. stay in, so clover begins to share kanako's room. every night is like a sleepover...!

they have fun, lots of fun together. ceroba hushes them, urging them to sleep in the early hours of the morning after they stayed up so late talking and giggling. kanako never has to eat another meal alone. clover is surprisingly good at mew mew love blaster. every day is so fun and exciting. this is what she had dreamed of for so long now -- the things she wanted all those previous times. she really just needed a little help to make it actually happen.

she's so happy. everything is perfect. she's satisfied, finally.

so...

so then, why...

why, after so long,

does she wake up again in an empty bedroom, back where she started?

#undertale yellow #uty au #uty primrose #kanako ketsukane #clover uty #goomyart

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totaly-obsessed · 6 months ago

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Out of the Pages

➳ Paige Bueckers x reader

➳ Navigation Post - here!

➳ introvert x extrovert - worlds meet

➳ Pure fluff, not proof read, idk guys, it's been a while. ➳ reader really is just me...

➳ Word count: 3.1k

The soft afternoon sun filters through the curtains of the small apartment you share with your girlfriend in downtown Storrs, casting a warm, golden light over the neat rows of books on your beloved bookshelf. Through the open window, you can hear the people talking on the street as they embrace the last warm days before it eventually gets colder.

October is halfway over, and it won’t be long until the basketball season starts back up again, leaving Paige and her teammates in a constant state of excitement as they are making the last preparations. But in this apartment, curled up in your favorite armchair, you are at peace, absorbed in the pages of your book as you try to solve the case alongside the main character—a stark contrast to the lively chaos your girlfriend thrives in. It’s that very difference that makes your relationship work so well, despite what other people say.

In one of the restaurants close by a glass is dropped, pulling your focus from the book. A quick glance at the clock tells you that it shouldn’t be too much longer until Paige comes home. Practice ended 20 minutes ago, but most days she stayed a bit later, getting some more shots in, trying to perfect them to the best of her abilities, before she finally walked the 5-minute way back to your joint home.

With a sigh you close your book, realizing that you should probably get a start on dinner. You had always been the kind of person who found joy in the quieter moments in life. Reading a good mystery book and savoring the stillness that came with an afternoon without classes. Paige thrived in the energy of the crowd and the adrenaline of the game, while you cherished the simple things. A nice, hot, cup of tea. The feeling of a brand new book in your hands. Rain hitting your window in the fall. Knowing that she will walk through your front door in a couple of minutes, happy to fall into your comforting arms and tell you everything that happened.

But even with you being a more private person, Paige loved you loudly. Nearly every second day she posts a pic of you on her Story. Sometimes she posts little videos of how you’re dancing around in the kitchen with her or how her teammates are interacting with you. In interviews, it’s hard to get her to stop talking about you, because no matter what the topic is, she is guaranteed to talk about you. And her fans love every second of it, and they love every bit of you. While she chases perfection on the court, you find perfection in the little things—in the way her eyes light up when she talks about her day, in the quiet moments when you simply exist together, side by side. And everyone loves watching you two be in love.

“Hi, Lovie!” Not once in your life has Paige walked through your front door quietly. So just like most days, the door flings open, as your girlfriend grins at you. “Oh, you look good, Baby!” And just like most days, she pulls the ‘o’s’ in good as long as she can. “Love, I’m wearing a sweater and shorts.” You deadpan at her while you drain the pasta and pour it into a pan. “I know Baby. But it’s my sweater and those shorts… Yeah, I don’t think I need to say it.” Warm arms wrap themselves around you as your girlfriend clings to you, looking over your shoulder and watching you finish the sauce. “There is no protein in there, Baby.” With a scoff you shrug her off, pushing her towards the bathroom. “Wash your hands, dinner is ready.”

A soft kiss was pressed against your cheek as Paige joined you at the table. “Thank you for cooking Ma.” With a soft hum you lean into her touch, a small smile playing at your lips as you reply, "Anything for you, Love." The blonde lets out a satisfied moan as she takes the first bite, “This is incredible.” As quickly as you can you pull a face, “There is no protein in there, baby”, mocking what she said earlier to you, in your best ‘Paige voice’. One of her eyebrows shoots up, daring you to test her again.

As the playful banter continues between the two of you, Paige's eyes gleam with a mischievous spark. "You know," she says, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms, "You can't stay cooped up in this apartment forever. How about coming out with me this weekend?"

You give her a knowing smile, already sensing where this conversation is headed. "Oh, Paige, you know I’d rather spend my time at home." She pouts dramatically, “But baby, it’s not just some loud party. It’s gonna be fun! Just a little get-together with the team and some friends. Nothing too crazy, I promise. Azzi told me about it.”

You roll your eyes affectionately, “I’ve heard that before. And I also remember how we ended up staying until 2 a.m. last time because you couldn't stop dancing.” Paige laughs, a sound like music filling the room, one of your favorite sounds there is. "Okay, fair point, but this time, I swear, it’s different. It's going to be relaxed—chill vibes, a few drinks, good music. Just a chance to hang out together."

You look at her skeptically, already shaking your head. “I don’t know, Paige… I’m really not the party type.” Your girlfriend leans in closer, her grin widening. "I know that, babe. And that’s exactly why I think you should come, just this once. It could be good for you to step out of your comfort zone. Who knows? You might even enjoy it." You laugh softly, but the idea still feels foreign to you. “I think my comfort zone is a pretty nice place, actually.”

“Come on,” Paige nudges you gently. “Just think about it, okay?”

You nod, more to humor her than out of any real intention of agreeing. "I’ll think about it," you say, and Paige gives you a triumphant little cheer, knowing that everything but a ‘no’ is a victory.

Over the next few days, Paige doesn't let it go. She brings it up casually while you’re both cooking dinner, or when you're curled up on the couch together. “You know, they’ll have those little sliders you love at the party,” she mentions offhandedly one evening. Another day, she adds, “It could be like a mini-date night… just us two, but, like, with other people.”

You can’t help but smile at her persistence, though you keep gently declining each time. “I’m really not sure, Paige,” you respond, even as she keeps layering on reasons and reassurances, each argument filled with her enthusiasm.

Finally, one evening, as you’re sitting together watching a show, Paige takes a more serious tone. “Listen, love,” she says, turning towards you and taking your hand. “I know you’re not into these kinds of things, and I respect that. I love that you’re different. But I think it could be fun for us to do something a little out of the ordinary… together. Just this once.”

You tilt your head, considering her words, but still unsure. “And if I don’t have a good time?”

Paige smiles, her eyes soft. “Then we leave. No questions asked. I’ll stay by your side the entire time, I promise. I just… I just want to see you in my world, even if it’s just for one night. We can leave whenever you want. I promise you won’t be alone in it. I’ll be by your side the whole time, and Nika is gonna be there, and Azzi and KK, the whole team really. You love them! Deal?”

Her sincerity touches you, and you feel a small tug at your heart. You know how much this means to her, how much she wants to share every aspect of her life with you, just as she proudly shares you with the world.

With a sigh, you finally relent. “Alright, fine. I’ll go. But I’m holding you to that promise. One step out of line, and we’re out.” Paige’s face lights up with a brilliant smile, and she throws her arms around you in a tight hug. “Deal, baby. And trust me, it’ll be fun. You’ll see.” You smile back, feeling the warmth of her excitement radiating off her.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she litters small kisses all over your face, as the blonde just can’t help herself, hiding her face in the crook of your neck. “If you hadn’t said yes today, I wasn’t gonna go either.” The jerk of your head was exactly what she had expected after telling you her little secret. At your whines, she could only laugh, “Nuh-uh. you said yes. Now We’re goin'!”

The night of the party arrives faster than you expected, and you find yourself standing in front of the mirror, adjusting your clothes nervously. Paige, ever the enthusiast, had picked out a comfortable yet stylish outfit for you, something that she assured would help you “blend in but still look cute." You catch her reflection in the mirror as she comes up behind you, wrapping her arms around your chest, her smile warm and encouraging. “You look perfect,” she says, and you know she means it.

Your nerves build with every meter on the way to the party. The streets are busier than usual for a usual Saturday night, and you can already hear the faint thrum of music coming from a few blocks away. Paige’s right hand found its usual place, your thigh, as she rubbed comforting circles. “Remember,” she murmurs softly, loud enough that you can hear her over the open windows that let in the cooling evening air, “we can leave whenever you want. This is just for fun, okay?”

You nod, trying to take a deep breath and push down the flutter of anxiety in your chest. The music grows louder as you approach the house, the bass thumping through the walls as the blonde parks the car. Laughter and chatter spill out into the street, a warm glow radiating from the windows. Paige squeezes your hand one last time before opening her car door, jogging around, and helping you out of your seat.

Inside, the atmosphere is exactly as you imagined—people are scattered around, chatting in groups, dancing, or playing games. You immediately feel a wave of discomfort wash over you. It’s not just the noise, but the sheer number of people crammed into the small space. Paige senses your hesitation and keeps you close, her arm slipping around your waist protectively.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she whispers, her lips close to your ear. “Just breathe. We’ll find a quieter corner.” She guides you gently through the crowd, smiling and waving at friends as you pass by. You catch snippets of conversations and see faces turning your way, but Paige’s presence keeps you grounded. She introduces you to a few people, all of them friendly enough, but the whirlwind of names and faces makes your head spin.

How does this girl know everyone?

Finally, you reach a quieter spot near the kitchen, where the noise is a bit more subdued. Paige grabs two drinks, handing one to you. “Here, something light,” she says with a wink. “No pressure to drink if you don’t want to, but it might help you relax.”

You take a tentative sip, and Paige’s smile widens. “See? Not so bad, right?” You give her a small smile in return, still feeling a bit overwhelmed but comforted by her presence. For a few minutes, things seem to settle. Paige chats animatedly with a few friends who come by to say hello, and you listen quietly, feeling a little more at ease just being by her side.

But then, KK and Ice, two of Paige’s closest friends and teammates, approach with wide grins. “Paige!” KK exclaims, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “We’re about to start a game of beer pong. You in?”

Paige glances at you, “Nah, I’m good right where I am,” she says firmly, smiling at her friends. “I’m here to spend time with my girl tonight.”

KK raises an eyebrow, her grin widening. “Your girl can play too, you know,” she teases, glancing over at you with a playful challenge in her eyes. “Come on, it’s just a game. We promise not to make it too competitive… unless you want us to.” Ice laughs and nods, chiming in, “Yeah, it’ll be fun! You’ve got Paige on your team, so you’re already halfway to winning!”

Paige looks at you, her eyes searching yours for a moment. She can see the hesitation written all over your face, the way your fingers lightly grip her arm, not wanting to let go. You give her a small, almost imperceptible shake of your head, and she instantly understands.

She turns back to KK and Ice, flashing a charming smile. “You know what? I think I’m gonna sit this one out tonight,” she says smoothly. “We’re just here to chill and have a quiet night. Maybe next time?”

KK chuckles, catching the subtle glance between you and Paige. “Alright, alright, we get it. No pressure,” she teases with a grin. “You two are inseparable, huh?” Paige just shrugs, her grin widening as she pulls you closer to her side. “Can you blame me?” she quips back, her tone light but sincere.

KK and Ice exchange a knowing look, teasing her with playful jabs. “Oh, come on, Paige, you’re whipped,” KK laughs, but there’s no malice in it—just teasing their friend.

“Damn right, I am,” Paige grins, pulling you closer. “And proud of it.”

They laugh and shake their heads. "Alright, alright," Ice says, “we’ll catch you later then.” They wander off, leaving you and Paige in your little corner.

As they wander off to join the others, Paige turns to you, her smile softening. “I’ve got you, always,” she murmurs, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You feel the tension in your shoulders ease a bit, and you nod. “Thank you,” you whisper, and Paige leans in to press a gentle kiss to your temple. “No big deal Ma.,” she replies softly.

“Tell me about your book, baby. What happened in the last chapter? Did Pip figure it out?”

You can’t help but smile at her genuine interest. Paige has heard you ramble on about countless books, and every time she listens as if it’s the most important thing in the world. "Well," you start, your voice a little shaky but gaining confidence as you go on, "Pip thinks she has it all figured out, but there’s this new twist... the suspect has an alibi that throws her entire theory out the window."

Paige’s eyes widen dramatically. “No way!” she exclaims, leaning in closer as if this story was the most gripping thing she'd ever heard. “I was sure she had it this time. What’s she going to do now?”

You laugh softly at her enthusiasm, feeling more at ease. "She’s back to square one, basically. But she’s determined to find a new lead, and I think she’s getting closer to the truth."

Paige nods, fully absorbed in your words, her blue eyes fixed on you with a look of admiration that makes your heart flutter. For a moment, the noise and energy of the party fade away, and it’s just the two of you, sharing this quiet little world together. It’s these moments that remind you why you took the chance to come here tonight—for her, for this.

Just then, from across the room, Azzi catches sight of Paige and nudges Nika, who follows her gaze. They both burst into giggles, catching the attention of KK and Ice, who turns to see what’s so amusing.

“Look at her,” Azzi whispers to the group, a grin spreading across her face. “She’s got the puppy dog eyes again.”

KK snickers, “She’s totally whipped. She looks like she’s watching a sunrise or something.”

Nika laughs quietly, nodding. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look at anyone like that,” she adds, her voice filled with a touch of wonder. “It’s actually really cute.”

Ice chuckles, shaking her head. “That’s love, right there,” she says with a smile. “The girl’s completely gone for her.”

Meanwhile, Paige remains blissfully unaware of her friends’ teasing, still fully focused on you, hanging on to every word as you continue to tell her about the next chapter. Her hand finds yours, squeezing it gently, her thumb tracing light circles over your skin.

After a few moments, you catch sight of her friends watching from across the room, and you feel a blush creep up your cheeks. “Paige,” you whisper, nudging her slightly. “Your friends are staring.”

Paige glances over and catches their teasing expressions. She rolls her eyes with a grin, then turns back to you, unabashed. “Let them stare,” she says softly, her voice filled with warmth. “I’ve got everything I want right here.”

You feel your heart swell with affection as Paige leans in and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. The party continues around you, but it feels like the noise has dimmed just a little, leaving a bubble of peace around the two of you.

Eventually, the evening winds down, and as the crowd begins to thin, you realize that Paige is right. It wasn’t so bad—actually, it was more than that. You had fun in your own way, simply by being there with her, sharing in her world.

As you make your way back to the car, hand in hand, Paige looks at you with a triumphant smile. “See?” she says, her eyes sparkling with mischief and joy. “Told you it would be fun.” You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling, too. “Okay, okay,” you admit. “Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

As you reach the car, she stops and turns to face you, her expression turning sincere. “Thank you,” she whispers. “For tonight, and for always being my safe place.” You lean in and kiss her softly, your heart full. “I love you, Paige,” you murmur against her lips. “Anywhere with you is where I want to be.”

And with that, you both get into the car and drive back home together, knowing that whether in a crowded party or a quiet apartment, you have everything you need as long as you have each other.

#Paige Bueckers x Reader #Paige Bueckers imagine #Paige Bueckers fanfic #Paige Bueckers x you #UConn Women’s Basketball #womens basketball #uconn wbb #uconn x reader #wnba #paige bueckers

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simplyvyn · 5 months ago

Text

── .✦ small step, big step !

Sypnosis; bllk guys with a ballerina lover. <3

Multicharacter drabble: rin, isagi, bachira, nagi, reo

RIN ITOSHI

He does not believe it. How come he's only hearing this now? The fact you do ballet? And the fact there wasn't even a single clue. The first (not really) clue was when you shared a post on your profile of your ballet performance last week. And he.. well— stared at it for good about five seconds, till he scrolled through the pictures, comments and even the profile of who posted it. And by now its obvious that you have been doing ballet for a long time.

He mentioned about it when he was helping you make dinner at your apartment. "Hey.. so.. do you.. do ballet?" He questions shyly. Somehow. "Oh yea, yea! Have been for a really long time!" And he just stared at you for a secon till an automatic reply came out his mouth. "How come i did not know about this?" "Well you were busy with soccer, and i was busy supporting you with soccer so..!" You said, while shrugging and cooking fried rice. "Well you can be busy with ballet and i also can be busy supporting you with ballet, right?" He said, while looking at you. "You sure? You're quite devoted with your soccer career y'know." You replied while looking at him for a second. "But I'm devoted to you as well." Rin's automatic reply came out of his mouth once more. "..Alright. You're invited to my next performance then, so you can see how pro i am." You say with a smirk. And rin just deadpan at you.

ISAGI YOICHI

He adores how precious you look. Unlike Rin, he already knew, and its actually how he met you for the first time! It was from social media when he was scrolling, and found a video of your performance and he realized it was you! His classmate! and ever since that, he promised to you and himself, he will keep a streak with your performances.

Practice done, ate lunch done, dolled up (of course) done, and running to the stadium of your next performance. Before entering though, he fixed his hair, fixed his clothes, perfume, mirror and you know the gig. And then he entered and took a seat. He can't believe how gentle you dance at the floor with good balance. It so smooth and calming to watch. Sometimes, whenever watching you, he compares it to how he plays in his own sport. After your performance, you told him to go backstage, after you change. When you did he congratulated you and showered you with compliments. "Hi baby! Great performance today, as usual. And as usual, here, flowers." Throwing you bouquet at your arms, and you smiled at him while pointing at a bench full of flowers and gifts and he already knew where it came from. "It's fine. Yours is the most special, don't worry." Yehey! Isagi reacted.

MEGURU BACHIRA

Wow, this is just beauty and the beast at this point. You, a total beauty. Gently dancing, twirling, and taking small steps! And well! He's there with his own beast, roughly playing, dribbling and running big steps. Yet, with the polar opposite trope. You two still manage to fascinate each other and neither do you wanna stop. But this time, your not lovers yet. But you two definitely look like it.

There was a school ballet performance once again in your school and you were very excited and you were also invited. Hooray! But you're not the only one happy that you're gonna dance. When Bachira heard the news, he was smiling from ear to ear, cheeks with a pink tint, and he can already imagine your performance. Except, its obvious that its his imagination, with the way you look in his imagination. At your performance, when its about to start, you saw that bee-colored hair guy watching you and you tried your best to resist your smile and he waved very excitingly at you. And i mean very. And you waved back. After the performance, and a very tired body, leaving the school, you saw Bachira again and you couldn't control your smile again. As if your body was actually not tired. When Bachira saw you, he ran to you and hugged you while congratulating you. "Your dance was majestic as always! You should dance more! I like how you dance. Its very.. pretty." He said with a gentle smile this time while his hands were on your shoulders. "Definitely will for you." you said with a smile, ear to ear.

NAGI SEISHIRO

Just like Rin, he only found out recently yet already supported you! But yet, its so weird how you're so devoted in this sport. You make sure everything is perfect, smooth and clean. Days before your performances when he wakes up, he sees you doing stretches, yoga, practicing and more. Like, why do you need everything to be perfect, you doing a twirl was already perfect for him? 10000000 points, man!

"Babyyyy its, 6 in the morning, why are you doing pie–lates, early in the morning?" Nagi asked while peaking out from the door as he is in your bedroom. "Only 2 weeks till my next performance, sei. And, dear... Its PI–lates. How do you get high scores in your school?" You say while switching to another position. "The power of Choki of course. Its all by luck." "Yyyaaaa..! Luck..." you say while rolling your eyes. "Enough about these grades. Just go back to bed." He said while getting of the room to pick you up until you spoke. "If you move me from my position, i swear to god—" "Alrighty madam, please dont tie me up in backstage again until your performance is done. You know i hate waiting..." "I DON'T TIE YOU UP? I just push you in the couch and you yourself is the one who doesn't want to stand up!" You barked back. "Potato, tomato. Same thing."

REO MIKAGE

At this point, he is your manager. Makes sure your prepared and good to go on stage! Either way it will be more than worth it since he gets to watch you dance and the fact he's the one who dolls you up, picking your dress, fixing your hair and makeup, and the world sees it. If one is to watch your performance besides this man, they will see him with hearts in his eyes glowing, with a cheeky smile, and blush on his cheeks.

Your next performance is next week. You couldve prepared in the weekends but no... This man needs you to prepare your ballet dress for the whole month! "Let's get this one! Oh this one too! Now lets go buy shoes!" He said like a lightbulb lit up on top of his head. In instinct, he pulls you and the cart to the cashier to pay. Theres at least 3 ballet dresses. So i gues thats okay.. "Next month, we go shopping again, okay?" Nevermind, not okay. "Reo, i dont need all of these, i dont even have space in my apartment for all of these!" "Then i will keep them in stock in my penthouse. Plus you will stay there right?" You were unsure because a part of you was really.. scare of his parents so you just nod gently. "A-are you sure this is okay? Won't your parents cook me ALIVE?" You said while this rich man, grabs the shopping bags for you. Leaving outside. "It's fine~! My parents won't even notice this, dearest! And i bet they'll want to after they see your performance!" THEY? "W-what do you mean see my performance?! I can't even buy them tickets!" "Dont worry, darling, I did! Soo, shoes next?"

Taglist: @koieroeroero

TYSM FOR WAITING SO SO SORRY I MADE YOU WAIT FOR A LONG TIME.. (prioritized my school😓) made sure each part was realistic at least cuz idk ballet much😞

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thisapplepielife · 3 months ago

Text

Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles.

Were You Wooing Me?

Prompt Day 11: Cabin | Word Count: 769 | Rating: T | CW: Language | Tags: Post S4, Eddie Munson Lives, Dustin Henderson: Matchmaker, Background Ronance (or not, your choice), Acting on Feelings, First Kiss,

It could be worse.

It could be better, too.

But it could definitely be worse. In the pro column, it's not located in the Upside Down, Steve supposes. But Henderson could have also not talked it up quite as much as he did. It looks like his great-grandparents just walked out one day and never returned.

"Is there really only one bed?" Robin asks, pacing around the cabin, as if another room is suddenly gonna appear.

"Looks that way," Nancy says, and Steve is pretty sure there's not room for more than one bedroom here. But Dustin swore there was room for all four of them, easy.

He's a dirty, little liar.

Eddie's settled into the old rocking chair, and is gently keeping himself swaying. He's always moving as far as Steve can tell, but right this second he's looking distinctly unbothered for Eddie.

"You two take the bedroom, we can crash on the floor," Eddie says, and Steve thinks that's awfully generous of him. But it does make the most sense. He can't imagine listening to Robin yap about being stuck on the floor.

This will be easier for everyone. Even if it means he has to sleep on the floor with the mice.

Fuck, he hopes there's not mice.

The girls go to bed, and he can hear them in the bathroom, washing their faces or whatever it is that girls do once they are in a bathroom together.

Eddie has started a fire, and it's actually warming up nicely. Steve has squatted down in front of the fire, rubbing his hands together as Eddie bustles around behind him. Steve's leaving him to it. Eddie was quite adamant that he didn't want, nor need, Steve's help.

It's still the floor, so Steve isn't getting too excited. But at least they probably won't freeze to death. They did bring a pile of extra blankets, just in case, because Nancy made them, and Steve's happy about that, now. This place wasn't exactly ready for guests. Eddie gathered up their share of the blankets, and said he was making them a pallet on the floor. Steve's not really sure what that means, but he lets Eddie do his thing.

"Tada," Eddie sing-songs, and Steve turns his way.

Whoa, it looks just like a bed, just without a mattress.

"Wow, how'd you learn how to do that?" Steve asks, and he's almost scared to mess it up.

"Wayne," Eddie answers. "I stayed with him a lot as a kid, and he'd always make me a pallet bed. Most of the time it was better than anything I had at home."

Steve swallows. That's a depressing thought.

"That was before he had to give me his room when I moved in officially to make the state happy, of course. He bought a roll-away at an old motel auction for himself. It was never as good as his pallets, though."

Steve bets they made Eddie feel special, because hell, this right here tonight makes Steve feel special. It's not just a pile of blankets on the floor, which is definitely what Steve would have done if he'd been in charge.

"It looks really nice," Steve says, "thanks, Eddie. I would have just slept on the hardwood floor."

Eddie laughs.

"Just get in bed, Harrington."

They lay shoulder-to-shoulder. Steve has been feeling some feelings about Eddie for a while now and he's just pushed it all down as deep as he could hide it. Sure that Eddie wasn't interested.

But, well. Maybe.

Everything he's done tonight feels a little bit like wooing.

And Steve?

He'd really like to be wooed.

It's quiet between them, only the crackling fire providing background noise. It's a comfortable silence, though.

But Steve still can't help himself.

"Were you wooing me?" Steve asks, and immediately regrets opening his mouth.

Eddie laughs, and Steve kind of wants to jump in that fire just to escape this. He shouldn't have said anything. He feels like a fool.

"I've been wooing you for months, Harrington. You just realized that?"

"Yes," Steve says, then adds, "No. I don't know. I didn't want to assume."

"Assume away."

And Steve wants to, he really, really wants to.

Steve rolls onto his side, so he can see Eddie better. Eddie rolls onto his side as well, meeting him face-to-face.

"You think Henderson did this on purpose?" Steve asks.

"Oh, hell yes he did," Eddie says, and Steve smiles.

He can't be that mad about it, then.

And Steve reaches out and cups Eddie's cheek, leaning in, his lips pressing to Eddie's for the very first time.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun!

#steddieholidaydrabbles #prompt: cabin #steddie #steddie ficlet #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve x eddie #christmas fic #steddie fan fic #steddie fic #stranger things #thisapplepielife: short fic #thisapplepielife: steddieholidaydrabbles

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cooneyscross · 9 months ago

Note

Leah williamson pleaseeee🙏🙏🙏

Enchanted - Leah Williamson

Leah Williamson x singer!reader

summary - You write a song about England's captain after meeting her briefly at an event not expecting her to share your feelings

Last night had gone by in a blur, you hardly remembered anything that happened. Everything except the short conversation you had shared with a certain blonde. You had accidentally bumped into whilst walking around causing her to spill her drink.

After the first glance, you were captivated by her. She was literally the girl you spent your spare time dreaming about after your last relationships had failed drastically. For the last 24 hours she was all you could think about your thoughts consumed by the short conversation you had shared.

Lights, camera, smile. You were walking around the large area, sipping from your third glass of champagne already and you weren't even half way through the event. You were exhausted from your recent concerts at Wembley, you would've much preferred to be at your apartment watching movies and eating junk. But instead you were being forced to smile for too many cameras.

You were contemplating pulling a sickie and getting an uber home but your mindset switched when you felt yourself collide with another body. 'Shit, I'm sorry.' You look up at the girl in front of you who's previously full glass was now all over the ground and their shoes. You were lost for words, she was hands down the most gorgeous girl you had ever laid eyes on. 'I can get you a new pair, if you'd like.' You offer but your voice is hardly a whisper, your hearts heavy beats probably more audible as nerves take over.

'It's fine, I'll probably never wear them again.' She laughs, the blondes laugh is the greatest laugh you've ever heard, you make it your goal for the night to hear it again. 'Have we met before?' She asks, a quizzical look meeting your gaze.

'I think I'd remember meeting someone as pretty as you.' You blurt out, eyes widening and hand slapping over your mouth once you realise what you just said.

She chuckled at your flustering. 'You think I'm pretty?' She teased a small smirk painting her face.

'No! Yes! I mean, please just forget I said anything.' you say shyly looking down at your feet as you went bright red. The cute blonde let out a laugh. Little did she know how cute you really thought she was.

'I'm Leah by the way.' The unfamiliar girl introduced holding her had for you to shake.

'I'm Y/N L/N.' You say back shaking the girls hand watching as her jaw drops.

'No way am I shaking the Y/N L/N's hand.' She said her voice a pitch higher from excitement. 'I feel like the worst person on earth for not recognising you sooner.' you laughed lightly before you were taken out of the moment by another voice calling Leah's name.

'Leah, I've been looking everywhere for you, let's go you have training early tomorrow.' He says drawing Leah's attention away from the you, you looked to the new man who hadn't even acknowledged your presence, but that didn't matter all that mattered was that Leah was leaving and you had no clue how you were going to find her again.

Leah began following the new man but turned around to face you again. 'It was enchanting to meet you, y/n.' Leah smiled before walking off. Yes it was very enchanting.

Her last words she spoke to you had left you in shock, almost as much shock as when you realized that Leah was in fact the Leah Williamson, you felt like an idiot for not recognizing the English footballer sooner.

But still you couldn't stop thinking about the six words that had such an affect on you that you decided to write a whole song based off them, hence why you spent 5 hours last night writing and rewriting the lyrics to your newest song. One you knew would make the fans go crazy over, but you hoped Leah wouldn't find it to weird.

yourinstagram just posted

liked by oliviarodrigo, hallebailey and 1,930,546 others

yourinstagram last night was sparkling✨

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sadiesink prettiest girl evaaa

yourinstagram says you

madisonbeer miss you y/n/n

yourinstagram come to london mads 🙏

username the things I would let her do to me

user73 the bi panic is real

maddieziegler ugly

yourinstagram 🪞🪞🪞 username02 i want a relationship with my best friend like the one they have yourinstagram trust me you don't user23 help she's so unserious

wosofan77 did anyone else see the pictures of her and leah together

LW6 yes! leah looked like the biggest fangirl

y/n'sbiggestfan is it just me or does the caption sound like a new song lyric????

yourinstagram 😏

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During a meeting with your publisher a few days after you'd finalised your new song and recorded it so it was ready to be released, you were sitting around doing nothing when a loud ping interrupted your daydreaming.

Your jaw dropped.

leahwilliamsonn started following you!

A loud scream left your mouth and you instantly rung your best friend Maddie, who you'd already told everything to involving the Leah situation.

'What do you want now?' Maddie's grumpy voice asked but you didn't care about how pissed she sounded.

'Leah followed me!' You squealed into the phone earning a groan from your best friend.

'Woo.' The american said in the most unenthusiastic, most sarcastic tone you've ever heard.

'You should be happy for your best friend.' You say childishly pouting.

'I would be if you hadn't called me at 5:50 on a Saturday morning, you know this is the day when I have a lie in.' She complains causing you to make an 'o' shape wit your mouth, you'd forgotten about the time difference between London and America.

'Sorry!' You apologise but only momentarily sympathising with the girl before returning to, in your opinion, more important matters. 'Well now you're awake, will you atleast give me advice on what to do. I don't want to embarrass myself.'

'I couldn't care less what you do, just follow her back or something. It's not that deep.' She tells you and you can tell by the way she yawns she just wants to be back in bed.

'Ok, sorry for waking you up. I'll let you get back to your beauty sleep now.' You say waiting for her to say goodbye but instead she just hands up. You roll your eyes, before opening instagram on your phone and hovering your finger over the follow back button next to Leah's profile which you had already spent hours stalking on a fake account. You repeat the words Maddie had told you in your mind a couple of times before manning up and pressing the button. After a while when nothing explodes you let out a breath you didn't realise you'd been holding.

Your publisher then returns to the room holding a couple of papers which she hands to you. 'You know the drill Miss L/N, I love the song and can't wait for you release it. It's going to be a hit.' She smiles and you grin back.

'Thank you so much for all your help, it doesn't go unnoticed.' You tell her. You both say goodbye before you head home.

For the first time in your career, you were releasing a single that you hadn't told the fans about. You didn't really care what they thought, you just prayed that a certain blonde footballer would like the song and not find it creepy.

yourinstagram just posted

liked by sadiesink, leahwilliamson and 3,476,891 others

yourinstagram E N C H A N T E D

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maddieziegler proud of you

yourinstagram 🫶🏽

y/n'sbiggestfan I was right!!!

liawaelti love the song!

katie_mccabe11 so does another Leah... victoriapelova she is going to kill you katie user27 help what are they on about

user43 does anyone know who this is about??

maddiezeigler 🙋

taylorswift 💜

yourinstagram no way your freaking kidding me

oliviarodrigo 🐐🐐🐐

leawilliamsonn 💙💙

upthegunners LEAH?!

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Your song was going viral, fans were going crazy over who you had written it about. But you didn't care, you were still obsessing over the fact that Leah hadn't just liked but also commented on your post. Maybe that meant she didn't find it weird, or maybe she hadn't put the pieces together it was about her.

Surely she had though.

You had made sure to let all your friends know how Leah had interacted with your post, but much to your dismay, most of them hung up mid call. So now you were left alone with a bottle of prosseco, celebrating your latest hit.

You were still wondering what Leah was thinking about the song. You were kind of stressed whether the Arsenal star was finding it creepy how you'd written a whole song about a girl you'd spoken to for the best part of ten minutes. But those worries were put to rest when you checked your instagram.

leahwilliamsonn just posted

liked by bethmead_, stephcatley and 92,370 others

leahwilliamsonn I was enchanted to meet you too

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katiemccabe_11 Leah the simp

leahwilliamsonn piss of McCabe

keirawalsh Leah's in loveeee

leahwilliamsonn i regret posting this now

leahfanpage the way I screamed

user65 bro same, this was not what i was expecting

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leahwilliamsonn sent yourinstagram a message...

Part 2? (also sorry this is terrible)

#leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #lionesses #woso #arsenal #woso x reader #woso community #engwnt #engwnt x reader #woso fanfics #woso soccer #katie mccabe #caitlin foord #steph catley #beth mead #arsenal wfc #this is woso #lionesses x reader

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jeonstudios · 8 months ago

Text

dextrocardia | 13

Dextrocardia. Originally a medical term, but also a way to describe someone who's got their heart in the right place.

"She's been moved to another operation to help out. This pairing is necessary because you'll be undercover as spouses. I know you two can be professional about this."

"What?!" It's Jeongguk's upset voice that sounds, and for once, you share his displeased opinion.

Spouses.

pairing: cop!jk x f detective!reader

genre: undercover cops, fake marriage, e2l au, angst, fluff, (smut?)

word count: 6k

warnings: descriptions of and talk about sa!!

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 13/?

It keeps raining, and two hours later when it’s hitting the roof in a calm rhythm, you enter the garage through the open door. Rock music sounds from a speaker but it’s overshadowed by the powerful hits of Jeongguk’s gloved hands against the sandbag hanging from the mount. He’s foregone a shirt, his sweat-covered muscles glistening.

“You call that ‘taking it easy?’” you call out, notifying him of your presence.

He stops his punches, turning to face you with his hand steadying the bag.

“Huh?” he questions, chest heaving.

“I said: ‘you call that taking it easy?’”

He smiles, very out of breath. “I didn’t say ‘easy,’ just easier than what I’m used to.”

You shake your head, venturing further into the garage and reaching the bike.

“How do you even get on this thing? It’s so tall?” you wonder skeptically out loud as you trace the black leather seat with your fingers. It’s definitely a lot taller and wider than just an ordinary bicycle.

Jeongguk steps away from the sandbag, loosening the gloves with his teeth as he heads your way, heavy breaths echoing. You follow him with your eyes as he approaches, but instead of demonstrating like you thought he would, he stops behind you.

“Here,” he places his hands under your armpits.

“Oh, no, no, no,” you try to protest, but it’s too late, and you’re already being lifted onto the seat like a three-year-old.

You definitely also feel like a three-year-old because you don’t even try to reach for the handlebars, instead holding onto the little hill in front of the seat. It probably goes without saying that your feet don’t wholly touch the ground.

“We could go for a ride someday if you want?”

You turn your head to look at his grinning face.

“Uh... no.”

“What, you don’t trust me?”

You see the realization of what he just asked flash across his face, but you know it wasn’t how he meant it.

“You don’t seem to value your life very much, no,” you argue, hinting at how he almost died for you.

His face turns relieved, a small smile decorating his lips. “I do. But sometimes, there might be risks I’m willing to take.”

It’s your turn to not know exactly what to say, so you're quick to ask something else instead. You lean forward, actually managing to grab the handlebars somewhat correctly. “Do I look cool?”

Jeongguk’s smile widens, “Absolutely. Even more so if you had the appropriate gear.”

“So… highway patrol? Car or one of these things?”

“One of these things,” he chuckles. “It was exciting, especially car chases really got your blood pumping. Although I think my mom was in a constant state of a heart attack. And the chases didn’t happen that often; most of the time, it was just writing tickets, and I wanted to make more of a difference.”

“Understandable. Your mom, I mean.”

“Yeah. Also, who told you?” he narrows his eyes playfully.

“Jimin. He told me absolutely everything there is to know about you. All your secrets.”

“Nice try; I don’t have any secrets.”

You wonder to yourself how true that really is.

You’ve managed to keep your mind busy and occupied during the day, but when night time rolls around and the rain has only increased, you’re feeling a little anxious.

Standing outside the door to your room and staring at the handle, you don’t notice Jeongguk.

“You know, I don’t mind you sleeping with me.”

You lift your head, meeting his eyes. He’s shirtless again, looking as if he just came from the kitchen. Should you? Last night was very cozy, and if you're being honest with yourself, you liked it a lot. Probably more than you should. You felt… safer.

You hesitate.

“It’s up to you, but I’ll leave the door open.”

He prepares to leave, but you’re quick to make up your mind.

“No, I, um… I’ll just go and change, first?”

Giving you a soft nod, he leaves for his bedroom.

It takes you five minutes to change into a large t-shirt and some shorts and to wash up, and when you enter through the open door, closing it behind you, Jeongguk is folding a pair of pants to hang over a chair. You won’t pretend that you don’t let your eyes quickly skim over his shirtless body as he moves, your heart skipping a beat or maybe two.

“Is that the ring you wore during the mission?” you ask, watching him turn, first to face you and then to look at the object in question on his nightstand.

“Yeah.”

“Why did you keep it?”

He shrugs as he approaches the other side of the bed, the same side he slept on yesterday. “I don’t know. I wore it, then the hospital put it in one of those bags with my other belongings while they took me into surgery. Took the whole bag home, put the ring there. Didn’t wear it because… well, we’re not married, but I didn’t want to get rid of it.”

“Hm, okay,” you accept what sounds like a reasonable explanation.

Jeongguk lifts the duvet, getting into the bed while watching you. “You didn’t keep yours?”

“Don’t know what happened to it, but it was fake and pretty much worthless, so…”

“Ouch,” Jeongguk says, clutching his chest.

“Okay, first of all, you just said we weren’t married. And there was no material worth to it. Second, your heart is on the other side.”

Smoothly–and definitely making you giggle while you follow his lead and get into bed–he switches hands to hold the right side of his chest instead. You guess it’s a learning curve.

“Ouch,” he repeats, “Just tell me if you want a divorce.”

It’s with a big smile that you get comfortable, pulling the white duvet up to your chin as you lay on your side, facing the nightstand.

You feel Jeongguk move around a bit too.

“I think the rain’s gonna let up tomorrow,” he mumbles. “It’s been a while since it was this… persistent.”

“Yeah… Thank you for letting me sleep here. It feels… better to not be alone.”

“It’s no problem; I don’t mind.”

Silence falls after that. You listen to the rhythmic beat of raindrops hitting the roof, trying to slow your breaths and heartbeat enough to fall asleep. Although you don’t feel as anxious anymore, it still doesn’t happen.

Minute by minute ticks by, and you don’t know if Jeongguk is asleep or not.

“It was raining,” you say, your voice barely louder than a whisper. “That night when we followed a suspect into a hotel bar.”

You take a breath, listening to the silence of the room, half expecting Jeongguk to stop you. But he doesn’t; maybe because he’s asleep? So you continue quietly, revisiting a memory.

“He stayed there for quite a few hours, so we did as well. We were hoping he’d lead us to his brother so we could arrest both of them for arms trafficking. Hoseong ordered us beer, more so for appearances, but still, and we talked while we kept an eye on the man and waited for him to leave. I remember that we talked about another case we’d just solved, and Hoseong was going on and on about how smart he thought I was and how glad he was to have me as his partner. I was smiling ear to ear, thinking that I was so incredibly lucky, getting to work with and learn from someone who truly saw me. When the suspect instead got a room there for the night, we did as well, figuring it would be more comfortable than sitting in the car all night.”

It’s still quiet, but it feels cathartic to get it out, regardless if Jeongguk is awake to hear it or not. While you've unfortunately noticed more similarities between him and Hoseong than you'd like--like their dark, expressive eyes--Jeongguk feels... different.

“We were meant to do shifts, always have the door open just a sliver so we’d notice if he left. We took our jackets off and Hoseong placed his stuff on the bedside table. Since it was summer, I was wearing a t-shirt and a skirt with my gun strapped to my thigh under it, and so I put the gun in the pocket of my jacket. When I turned around… he kissed me. I was caught by surprise, but I… I kissed him back at first because… Well, I loved him. But then I tried to step back to tell him that we really shouldn’t, that we needed to be alert and ready to follow if the suspect left. But he didn’t listen.”

You pause, feeling the pain and the fear from that day all over again, your skin turning cold. There’s movement behind you, and an arm is slowly and gently draped across your middle, grasping your freezing hand. It makes you feel something, peering down at his hand and the tattoos covering his skin. He’s very warm, and he feels like he’s… stable. Like he has roots growing into the ground that makes him unshakeable. Meanwhile, you’re a leaf; at the mercy of everyone and everything. Easy to blow away, to rip to shreds, to stomp flat to the sound of your bones crunching.

“He held my jaw so tight, I couldn’t speak, and he told me that I’d been teasing him all day in the skirt and that I should be happy because he knew that I loved him. Said I should just suck it up and put out. He… ” you go quiet, unsure of how many details you’re willing to relive.

Does Jeongguk need to know every step you were pushed toward the bed, how he threw you onto it and got on top of you while you fought? How he unzipped his pants and how he violated you? He probably doesn’t.

“He used his handcuffs and cuffed my hands around the metal bed frame. I tried to…. He said he’d kill me if I screamed.” You remember his hushed yet furious voice in your ear, remember knowing how it was going to end, how he’d kill you right then and there.

“I don’t know if he did it at first because he enjoyed it or if he realized right away that he would need to get rid of me, but he put both his hands around my neck and squeezed as hard as he could. I pulled my hands so violently that I dislocated a thumb, but… I got one out. So I tried to stop him, but he was too strong, using all his body weight. My nails on his skin didn’t faze him, and I was losing consciousness. At the very last second–while my vision was turning spotty–I managed to grab the gun from his holster. I aimed it for his thigh and pulled the trigger. He let go. Somehow, I managed to get him off me, and… out of me… but I could barely see or breathe, and there was blood everywhere.

“He swore at me, and I think he tried to get up but couldn’t, so he reached for his phone, and I ran for the door as best I could. But what was I supposed to do? Call the cops? What do you think he was doing? I heard him ask our coworkers for help, and I knew. They were coming to help him. So I stood there, in the hall of a shitty hotel, with no car keys, no phone, and nowhere to go, while his back-up was mere minutes away.

“Then, someone down the hall opened their door. It was a young woman, and she peeked out, looked at me where I stood, a shaky, bloody, wheezy mess, and she came and pulled me inside right before the police exited the elevator. I managed to say that we were all law enforcement, but I didn’t need to tell her that they’d kill me off if they found me because we heard Ryung’s voice through the door, telling the rest to find me and make me… pay.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever been as scared as I was when they knocked on her door. She gestured for me to get inside the bathroom, and I did, watching as she pulled a bathrobe around her body, turning most of the lights off and opening the door to pretend like she’d just woken up. I heard them ask for me, and I heard her politely tell them that no, she hadn’t seen a woman or noticed any commotion. But I saw how her hand trembled behind the door, and I thought the whole time that they knew and were just waiting to push their way inside to get me. But they didn’t. Instead, they left. Shaken, she sat with me on the bathroom floor as I cried, and she helped me clean up a bit and loaned me some of her clothes before she helped me to the hospital across the city border. I stayed the night to have my injuries tended to and documented and a kit done, and the next day, I went to that city’s station to file a report. A female officer helped me, and she’s the only one I’ve told most of this stuff to. Well, except for you now, but I take it you read the report? And the station… you weren’t working that day, but it was your station, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” comes a strained mumble, and you feel him hug you just a bit tighter.

You stare at the wall, feeling both anxious and numb. “It changes you, having someone do that to you. All my life, I’ve known, theoretically speaking, that there’s a risk. A man, anywho, anywhere, anytime, can decide that I don’t get to live anymore. But to experience it, to see the intentions in his eyes, and how he’s… deciding… and not being able to do anything about it. It changes you. It’s always there, the feeling of helplessness.” “I…” Sounding like he wants to say something but can’t find the words, Jeongguk lets silence fall again.

“You don’t know what to say, do you?” you smile a sad smile to yourself. “No.” “It’s alright, you don’t need to say anything, I just thought I’d tell you.”

You feel him move closer while also gently pulling you back toward him. You roll back, finding yourself inches away from him where he lies, head supported by his hand and looking down at you. “I’m just… furious, and frustrated, and I wish so badly that I’d been there to help you. If I had just transferred earlier… maybe I could’ve prevented it, or stopped it, or even just caught him and helped you get your justice. Instead, I came along and made it worse.”

You find yourself so lost in him. In the warmth of his body that’s thawing the entirety of yours, and in his kind brown eyes. You can’t believe he’s the same person who took every chance he could to hurt you as recently as a few months ago. He just… looks so sweet.

“You know, you look like a little kid when you’re sleeping” you smile, watching Jeongguk slowly open his eyes, looking a little confused. “You’re also always up before me, so I’ve rarely seen you asleep. I’m not really a morning person.”

The moment he comes to properly, he smiles lazily and rolls his eyes half-heartedly. “I’m not a morning person either, actually,” he explains, his voice lower and raspier than usual.

“Then why are you always awake so early?”

He looks at you as if he’s not sure what to say. “Cause… I have… stuff to do?”

“Okay…”

Jeongguk doesn’t address the suspicion in your voice, instead, he stretches his arms over his head. The duvet moves, exposing his chest and the scar to your eyes.

Letting your fingertip hover just above it, you look back at his still very sleepy face. “Did you really never know about your organs being mirrored?”

“No,” he yawns.

“But… how? Didn’t you ever have your heart and lungs listened to?”

“I did, but apparently, it’s not too much of a different sound. Sure, my heart beat would have sounded a bit fainter from my left side but it’s such a rare condition that there was no real use investigating further. I had a heart that beat in the right rhythm and no other symptoms so that was enough, I guess,” he shrugs.

“Can I listen?” you bite your lip hopefully.

He raises his eyebrows, “To my heart?”

You nod enthusiastically

“Buy me dinner first, why don’t you?”

Rolling your eyes, you feel warm. You meet his gaze and slowly lower your head to his chest while moving your hair out of your face.

His skin feels nice against the side of your face, his chest moving up and down under you slowly, and you hear it. It’s strong, rhythmic, but…

“Are you sure you’re fine, though?” you ask, turning a little more serious, “It’s beating kinda… fast?”

Surely a fit guy like Jeongguk has a slower resting heart rate?

“You’re also, you know, listening to my heart,” he says, like it’s supposed to mean something?

Wait. Is he… Is he implying that you listening to his heart is making it race? That can’t be true, can it?

You lift your face off of his chest, and for a moment, you’re just looking at each other softly, curiously. His black hair is a little messy, but he looks so warm, and you–.

His phone rings.

Jeongguk sighs but reaches for it where it lies on his nightstand, his eyes widening when he reads the screen. “Shit, I gotta take this.”

He throws the duvet off of him and gets up as he answers the call, and you see him in just his shorts as he disappears out of the room with the phone to his ear.

Following his lead, you rise from the bed, but instead of going wherever Jeongguk disappeared to, you head into your room to throw on a hoodie and some sweatpants. While alone, you take a moment to think about last night. You weren’t actually planning on talking about it. You never have, not in that much detail, although you definitely left some things out. And while it feels… hard, it also feels… better? Or, like you’re at least not too scared of him looking at you weirdly or saying it was your fault. Or even worse, like you opened his eyes how easy it was to render you entirely helpless…

Quietly, you enter the kitchen, spotting Jeongguk standing at the counter with the tray of cupcakes you made together in front of him. He’s wearing a dark green t-shirt now.

He places the phone between his raised shoulder and ear as he peels a wrapper off, “can you ask them to mail copies of the documents to the station? And how did it go, did you manage to reach the mechanic?”

You watch him as he listens to whoever’s on the other side, putting half a cupcake in his mouth. “Mhm, no, no, just book whatever time she’s available. We can meet at the station if she wants to come in or I can go to her. Same for the hotel staff.”

Is he… looking into your case again? Like, thoroughly following up on all leads and with all possible witnesses? You definitely know it’s not because of what you told him last night; he must’ve decided to do it priorly.

His eyes find you as he listens intently to what the voice has to say. You take a few steps, coming to stand next to him, smiling softly at how cute he looks when he’s multitasking. With one hand, he lifts the other end of the cupcake to you. You take it, watching him as he looks off into the distance absentmindedly. “Alright, thank you.”

You pop the piece into your mouth, chewing it while making a note to definitely bake more.

He ends the call and puts the phone down on the counter. “These are actually really good,” he says, putting his frosting-covered fingertip to his mouth.

You smile, admiring him and all he’s done and is doing for you. A little overcome with emotions, you place your hand on his shirt, pulling it down slowly at the collar and him toward you. He looks curious, but you focus on his lips. Biting your own, you try not to let the fear of rejection win, and you stand on your toes, and you kiss him carefully.

It’s brief, and it’s sweet, and you can’t help but smile when your heels touch the floor again.

“Thank you.”

He blinks, looking happy but surprised.

“What?” you chuckle a little nervously when he doesn’t say anything.

“Nothing. I just… wasn’t sure you actually liked me. Like, at all.”

You tilt your head, listening to him as he continues.

“I know that we kissed that time on the hammock, but we probably weren’t on the same page then, were we? Cause I thought we were, that we were alone and that we had something, but you… you played along because there were people watching, right? You were still acting while I wasn’t.”

You haven’t thought a lot about that moment, embarrassed about what happened and how you reacted, but he’s right. You were acting. You weren’t sure he was, but if he really wasn’t… What were his motives that night?

“Yeah, but you kinda literally took a sword to the heart for me later, and you’ve been really, really kind and sweet to me ever since.”

He grabs another cupcake, chewing a piece of it with a look on his face that tells you he’s… planning something. You wait, expecting him to say something but he just smiles and lifts the other piece to your mouth. Before you can even decide whether to take a bite or not, he nudges the cupcake against your mouth, getting streaks of frosting across your lips.

“What the…”

But he grins, puts the cupcake down, and smiles in a way that lets you know this was exactly what he wanted. Putting his fingers under your chin to lift your head, he leans down to kiss you. You hold your breath, feeling his soft lips against yours again.

He tastes of frosting and racing heart beats, and you’re pretty sure your cheeks are warmer than usual.

“You don’t need to thank me for that.”

And you feel warm, almost ecstatic, but also like you’ve… forgotten something.

The day after, Jeongguk receives a call that has him hurriedly looking through the house for the keys to his bike, rushing off somewhere after telling you that he’ll probably be back in a few hours. ‘A few hours’ is too vague to really tell you anything, and you’re so used to not asking questions that you don’t think to.

While he’s gone, you decide to start the dishwasher, and you’ve come to learn that Jeongguk always has at least one mug in his office that he’ll keep refilling with coffee way too many times without washing.

Approaching the office, you’re not surprised to see the door to it ajar. It’s rarely closed, and it’s almost like it signifies the transparency between you. Jeongguk doesn’t say much about the case, but it’s not because you can’t know; it’s because he knows you don’t want to know.

Or didn’t want to know. As you’re standing in the quiet room, his blue mug in your hand, you see a disheveled stack of papers. Usually, you would’ve walked past it, or maybe even re-stacked it neatly before walking past it.

This time, Hoseong’s name catches your eye. Of course, it’s not weird considering it’s Jeongguk’s main case, but you still find yourself staring at the printed letters.

Three hours after he left, Jeongguk unlocks his front door, opening it and stepping inside. He sighs at how the people he despises most on the planet always just seem to slip out of his grasp. But when inside, he finds himself easily letting go of that thought and instead thinking about something that has him smiling to himself.

With his shoes and jacket off, he begins his search, expecting to find you either in the living room or your bedroom and getting confused when you aren’t. He peers inside the kitchen and even puts his head into his own bedroom, almost starting to get worried when you’re nowhere to be seen.

He’s about to visit the second bathroom when he passes his office, seeing movement from within the small sliver in the doorway.

“There you are,” he comments happily as he opens the door wider, looking around and taking a moment to process what he’s seeing. “I almost thought you’d evaporated.”

You look up from the floor, where you’re sitting with a bunch of papers spread out in front of you, Jeongguk’s empty cup beside you.

“These are the ones you’re observing?” you ask, lifting a paper toward him, a pen wedged between your index and middle finger.

He takes it from you, quickly reading a summary of months of hard work. “Mhm.”

“Okay,” you say, looking at another paper in your hand, twirling the pen absentmindedly in your other, “I think I have some suggestions.”

After spending hours and hours with Jeongguk, having him explain the progress they’ve made and who they’re investigating, you take a step back to look at the post-its on the living room wall. It has all the fugitives’ relatives, their friends, coworkers, neighbors…. everyone. Since neither of the four men have used their card nor phone, they must’ve almost certainly gotten help, but from who?

You sink down onto the soft cushions of Jeongguk’s couch with a tired sigh, reaching for the remote and smiling when there’s a rerun of a zombie movie.

Jeongguk follows your lead, spreading out as well. “You wanna like… hold hands or something? Cause I could do with a good hand-holding.”

You can’t help but let out a laugh, feeling your chest warm from the inside. It’s so easy for him to make you all giddy, forgetting about all of your pains and worries. Or almost all of them, at least.

Still, you nod, and your smile grows when he scoots closer to you and takes your hand in his warm one.

Even as he directs his focus toward the TV, you keep yours on him. On his tired yet still bright, dark eyes, his nose, the faint hollowness under his cheekbones, and his mouth. His hair is just calling out for you to run your fingers through, but you stand your ground, settling for getting to hold his hand.

“What?” he asks, smiling cheekily at you.

“You asked to hold my hand?” you remind, moving his hand between the two of yours, tracing the veins on the back of it.

“Yeah?”

“It’s cute. You buy flowers and hold hands and open doors.”

Surely, a guy like him can’t exist, right?

“I do. Which reminds me, you were just giving my flowers away?”

He looks at you, faking hurt. Slowly, and with your heart beating hard to nourish the butterflies growing in your stomach, you intertwine your fingers with his. “I didn’t know they were from you; there was never a card or anything.”

“Fine.”

Seemingly accepting your short answer, Jeongguk watches the movie with you for a while in silence, your head coming to rest against the top of his arm. You keep his hand between yours, trying to stay cool despite how being this close to him affects you. There are definitely some sort of butterflies.

“You know what I’ve been thinking about as well?” he mumbles quietly after a while.

“No?”

“At the barbeque, the guy that you were talking to? Who was that? And what did he say?”

You search your mind for a second before it comes back to you; the tall, handsome man who approached you. “I don’t know. He said his name was Haneul, but I don’t think he lived there. I think I heard something about someone having their cousin over or something like that, so I think that was him. Don’t think I saw him again.”

“And what did he say to you? You didn’t look…. very happy.”

You recall the way he felt… off and how he wasted absolutely no time, insulting your husband and offering to take his place. You definitely remember the unfunny feeling of actually wanting to have a rude Jeongguk around just to keep Haneul away.

“Uh, he hit on me.”

“Did you say you were married?”

You scoff. “Yeah, but he didn’t seem to mind. Basically accused you of lacking in bed and offering to take your place in secret.”

“What?” Jeongguk asks, sounding surprised. “He didn’t look that ballsy to me?”

“It was before he saw how intimidating you are.”

“I’m glad it seemed like I scared him off then. If he was bothering you?”

“Yeah…”

“So why didn’t you tell me? When I asked about him? I would’ve kept an even closer eye on you.”

That, you don’t have to search your mind for. You remember very clearly how scared you were that Jeongguk would laugh. Or that he wouldn’t even believe you because after all, why would anyone hit on someone like you? Especially a man who looked like Haneul because creep or not, he was handsome. Like so often, you fill with shame. Embarrassment for who you are and how you look. It’s been surprisingly easy to not focus as much on it, but it will always be at the back of your mind, and this is just a painful reminder.

“I… didn’t think you’d believe me.”

He squeezes your hand, and you hear and feel him sigh sadly. “I’m sorry for being so mean to you and for being such an overall disappointment. I want to think that I sensed that you were scared and that’s why I kept an eye on you after and asked you about it. But I couldn’t even tell that you were afraid of me as well, so I don’t know, honestly.”

“It’s fine…”

“No, it’s not. I guess I hope your future real husband will be better than your fake one,” he jokes in an attempt to lift the mood.

“Oh. I’m not… I don’t think the possibilities of me getting married are very big.”

“Oh? Because you don’t like… men?”

You nearly snort. Honestly, yeah, all of your problems and issues could be summarized into that short sentence.

“Yeah. Unfortunately, I’m not interested in marrying a woman, but I’m not… I’ve never had a relationship of any kind with a man–that went deeper than acquaintances–which didn't leave me hurt in one way or another. And I don’t want to do that anymore.”

“I know you said your dad’s an ass, and I know what happened with Hoseong and us guys at the station, but what… If you want to talk about it, what else…?”

“Who else has hurt me, you mean? It’s complicated, I guess.”

You look down at your intertwined hands, how Jeongguk’s looks so big between yours.

You sigh at the memory of how… non mind-blowing your relationships have been so far. Most guys you’ve dated haven’t made even the slightest of efforts for your birthday–if they even remembered it–or to plan dates of any kind after the first honeymoon months. You’ve tried, but with many men, it feels more like they want a live-in maid, who provides sex. It's definitely a conscious effort, how you try not to match Jeongguk to what your younger self dreamed of in a man.

“You remember… at the house? When you said you loved your ex, and I laughed because you’re a man and not capable of love?”

“Yeah.”

“I think that sums it up. My dad didn’t care for my mom or me, he only returned when his new, younger girlfriends–whose bodies weren’t ruined by childbearing–grew tired of his disrespectful, old ass. He knew that she still loved him, and he took advantage of that. I guess I was a little weary around men from a young age after that, but still hopeful that there could be good men out there too. Then I started dating and noticed pretty quickly that… I wasn’t really important like I’d hoped. I wanted dates–even just a picnic in the park occasionally–and I guess I took birthday celebrations–of any kind–for granted. One guy got me a bunch of candy he knew I didn’t like, so he could eat it himself, and another guy entirely forgot it was my birthday even though his was ten days before, and I got him a relatively expensive watch he’d been wanting. One guy did take me out to eat at a pretty nice restaurant, but he was also shamelessly checking out the waitress right in front of me. I saw my friends be treated the same way, and we all just… kept trying. One of my friends was in a relationship for four years, and he was a real sweetheart; made time for her, got her flowers, gave her compliments, all that. Then she discovered he’d been cheating since day one. It wasn’t until Hoseong that I truly decided it wasn’t worth it.”

“You shouldn’t give up hope.”

“It’s easy for you to say, Jeongguk. You’re a man. Your fellow men look out for you and women still care for you. And to be honest… like I said, what happened to me… it’s not something you just move past. Wherever I go, I know that practically every man I meet on the street could decide to hurt me just because he wants to. And it would be up to him, the fate of my entire life is in the hands of every random guy I pass. If he wanted to kill me, there isn’t much I could do. Not only do I know that theoretically speaking, most of them are stronger than me and don’t care what happens to me, but I know the feeling of having it happen.”

“I understand,” he assures softly, squeezing your hand, “I didn’t mean it in a ‘get over it’ way, just that I know there are men out there who would treat you like an equal partner and who would like to do those things you described that you used to want.”

“Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know, it just isn’t worth the risk for me. Romantic love isn’t everything.”

There is still a trace of pity in the look he gives you when you smile sadly at him.

After brushing your teeth and changing into your sleepwear, you find yourself outside the door to your bedroom. The storm has passed, so you definitely should go back to sleeping in your own room.

As if he could read your mind, Jeongguk, on his way to his bedroom, slows down as he passes you. He turns, looks at you and smiles gently as he continues to back toward his door. “You don’t need an excuse, you know? If you want to sleep in your room, that’s fine, but I can’t say I’m not hoping you’ll sleep with me.”

You lift your eyebrows at him, as if to say ‘oh, really?’ He should definitely stop saying ‘sleep with me.’

He shrugs, “I like having you close.”

For half a second, you shut your eyes, realizing you have no defense against him. So you open them, sighing and dropping your shoulders before following him with some species of critter in your stomach. He chuckles.

author's note: please let me know if you like it! i feel like this part was really important and it was definitely hard to write because fortunately(!!!) i have not experienced what reader has and while i did my best to portray it how i think someone could react and deal with stuff like this, at the end of the day, i don't actually know and i'd hate if it comes off as wrong or glamorizing in any way. if it does, that is 1000% not my intention. on a lighter note; this is very much a calm before a storm lol

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honeyhae-svt · 22 days ago

Note

I luv the headcanons and would love my tiger kwon soonyoung PLEASE :))))

hoshi's headcanon when he falls for someone (you)

kwon soonyoung (hoshi) x gn!reader

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ tags / genre: hoshi x reader, seventeen fanfiction, lighthearted romance, playful banter, mutual pining, holiday vibes, cozy fluff, heartwarming moments, reader insert, wholesome love story, gentle humor, soft romance ੈ✩‧₊˚ warnings: n/a (just lots of giggles, flirty hoshi energy, warm hugs, and soft moments that make your heart flutter. mwahaha) ੈ✩‧₊˚ wc: 3443 ੈ♡ a/n: 3/13 ! (reqsts are open for the next member !). ILYSM ANON FOR REQUESTING A HOSHI ONEE ! i loved writing this one a little too much, i might've reached a word count of 10,000 + if my friend didn't stop me. ㅠㅅㅠ (p.s. im sorry. i forgot to post this.) ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Falling For U (Seventeen) ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮

ੈ♡˚ ༘ hoshi's headcanon when he falls for someone

when hoshi falls for someone, it's impossible for him to hide it. his feelings shine through in every interaction, whether it's the way he lights up when you walk into a room or the endless excuses he finds to spend time with you. his love is loud and vibrant, like him, but it's also layered with an unexpected softness that makes it all the more special.

he's the type to shower you with compliments, sometimes silly and sometimes sincere, just to see you smile. he'll call you "the most amazing person in the world" one minute and then jokingly ask if you're honored to have his attention the next. his playful nature is his way of keeping things light, but underneath, there's a deep sincerity. every teasing, every exaggerated gesture is hoshi's way of showing he cares.

you'll notice he goes out of his way to include you in his world—whether it's dragging you to try out something he's excited about or sharing random tiger facts (because, obviously, you need to know). he's full of energy, and he loves the idea of making you laugh or helping you forget a bad day. but when you're down, hoshi knows how to tone it down, offering you quiet support and reminding you he's there for you in the most heartfelt ways.

if he's jealous, it's not subtle. he'll pout and dramatically insist he's the best option for your attention, though he'd never make you feel uncomfortable. it's all in good fun—his way of showing that he cares deeply. when you reassure him, the grin that spreads across his face makes it clear he just wanted a little extra love from you.

hoshi's love language is loud, affectionate, and completely unfiltered. but when it's time for him to confess, you'll see a more vulnerable side of him. he'll still try to keep things light, stumbling over his words and making jokes to cover up his nerves, but the way his voice softens and his eyes meet yours will leave no doubt about how much he means every word.

with hoshi, falling in love isn't just a feeling—it's an experience. his love is like a sunrise, warm and full of energy, and once you're at the center of his world, you'll never doubt just how much you mean to him.

it was late, the soft hum of the night wrapping the room in a quiet stillness. hoshi sat on the couch, one leg tucked under him, a half-empty bowl of popcorn balanced on his lap. the tv was on, playing some rom-com neither of you had really been paying attention to. his eyes kept drifting to you, though you were too engrossed in your phone to notice.

you were sitting cross-legged on the floor, leaning against the couch, absentmindedly scrolling and laughing at something every now and then. hoshi couldn't help but smile, the kind of smile that stretched across his face before he even realized it.

"kwon soonyoung," you teased, breaking his trance. you twisted around to look up at him, eyebrows raised. "what's that look for? are you laughing at me?"

he blinked, caught off guard, before shaking his head with an exaggerated pout. "me? never! why would i laugh at you?"

"then what?" you pressed, squinting at him. "you've been weirdly quiet. it's suspicious."

hoshi leaned back into the couch, suddenly aware of how warm his ears felt. he reached for another handful of popcorn, buying time to figure out what to say. how was he supposed to tell you that he wasn't laughing at you, but that just looking at you made him feel all sorts of things he couldn't explain?

"i was just... thinking," he said vaguely, popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

you gave him a look, clearly unimpressed. "thinking about what? and don't say 'stuff.' i'm not letting you get away with that."

he groaned, dragging a hand down his face in mock defeat, though the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him. "fine, fine," he said dramatically, shifting forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "i was thinking about you."

your teasing expression faltered, replaced by a mix of surprise and curiosity. "me?"

hoshi nodded, suddenly feeling shy under your gaze. "yeah, you. don't make it weird." he tried to laugh it off, but his voice was softer than usual, giving him away.

you turned fully to face him, sitting up straighter. "what about me?"

he hesitated, his fingers playing with the edge of the popcorn bowl. "just... you. the way you're always making me laugh. the way you light up when you talk about things you love. the way you're you, i guess." his voice trailed off, and for once, he wasn't cracking a joke to deflect.

the room was quiet for a moment, the tv's background noise fading into the distance. when you didn't say anything, hoshi looked down, feeling like he'd just thrown his heart out into the open.

"soonyoung," you said softly, and he dared to glance up. the way you were looking at him—like he was the only thing in the room—made his breath catch.

"yeah?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

you smiled, that soft, genuine smile that always made his chest ache in the best way. "you know, you're not the only one who's been thinking about someone."

his eyes widened, and his mouth opened slightly as if to speak, but no words came out. instead, he just stared at you, waiting for you to say what he was too scared to believe.

"i like you too," you said, your voice shy but steady.

the grin that broke across hoshi's face was immediate, bright and full of relief. "really?" he blurted, leaning forward like he hadn't heard you properly.

you laughed, nodding. "yes, really. why do you look so surprised?"

"because i've been trying to figure out how to tell you for weeks!" he exclaimed, setting the popcorn aside and sliding down to sit on the floor beside you. "do you know how many times i almost said it and chickened out?"

"that sounds like you," you teased, nudging him with your shoulder.

he pouted, but the way his hand brushed against yours betrayed his excitement. "hey, i'm being vulnerable here. don't make fun of me."

you laughed again, your fingers intertwining with his. "alright, alright. no teasing. but for the record, i think you're pretty cute when you're nervous."

hoshi's cheeks turned pink, but he couldn't stop smiling. "you're gonna regret telling me that. i'll never let you live it down."

"i'm counting on it," you said, squeezing his hand.

and just like that, the tension melted away, replaced by the kind of warmth that made everything else feel insignificant. sitting there beside you, hoshi realized that for all the times he'd doubted himself, this—you—was worth it. every single second.

ੈ♡˚ ༘ kisses and cuddles with hoshi

soonyoung is naturally affectionate and playful, his love for physical closeness showing in every little touch. he's the type to make you laugh first before pulling you into a hug, his bright energy making the simplest moments feel full of life. but beneath all the teasing, he's incredibly thoughtful—his gestures always carrying a deeper, quieter kind of love.

it's in the way he bumps his shoulder against yours when you're sitting close, or the way his pinky hooks onto yours absentmindedly.he thrives on moments when your laugh echoes in the space between you two, his eyes crinkling with that signature grin as he watches you.

one night, you're both sprawled out on the living room floor, the remnants of a late-night snack scattered around you. you're trying to win an argument about who gets the last slice of pizza, and soonyoung is putting up a good fight, complete with dramatic gestures and exaggerated reasoning.

"fine," you finally concede, laughing as you push the plate toward him. "you win. but only because i'm too tired to argue."

he smirks, victorious, but instead of taking the pizza, he sets it aside and leans over, resting his chin on your shoulder. "you're too cute when you're pretending to be mad," he teases, his voice soft and warm.

you roll your eyes, but the way your cheeks flush doesn't go unnoticed. "you're lucky i like you," you mutter, and he grins wider, his hand brushing against yours as he settles beside you.

ੈ♡˚ ༘ the first kiss soonyoung's first kiss with you is every bit as spontaneous as he is, yet it feels perfect in the moment.

it happens during one of your usual late-night hangouts, walking aimlessly through quiet streets with the glow of streetlights guiding your way. you're both bundled up against the chilly air, sharing random stories and laughing at each other's terrible jokes.

at some point, he stops walking, grabbing your arm lightly to make you pause too. "wait," he says, his tone suddenly more serious. "i just thought of something."

you tilt your head, curious. "what is it?"

he looks at you for a moment, his expression softening. "if i don't do this now, i might chicken out later."

before you can ask what he means, he steps closer, his hand brushing against yours before cupping your cheek gently. there's a flicker of nervousness in his eyes, but it's overshadowed by the way he looks at you—like you're the only thing in the world that matters.

then he kisses you, his lips warm and soft against yours, the kind of kiss that feels like a question and an answer all at once. it's sweet, unhurried, and undeniably soonyoung—playful yet full of feeling.

when he pulls back, he's grinning, his cheeks tinged pink. "so... was that okay?" he asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

you laugh, still a little breathless. "yeah, it was okay," you tease, though the smile on your face says much more.

"good," he replies, his grin widening as he takes your hand in his, swinging it slightly as you both continue walking.

ੈ♡˚ ༘ cuddles with hoshi cuddling with soonyoung feels like being wrapped up in sunshine. he's the kind of person who makes every hug feel like a celebration, his energy and warmth impossible to resist.

it starts with him flopping onto the couch beside you, his head landing in your lap as he dramatically sighs about how tired he is. "you've been ignoring me all day," he whines, even if you've only been apart for an hour.

"have not," you counter, laughing as you absentmindedly run your fingers through his hair.

he hums in contentment, his arms wrapping around your waist. "this is all i needed," he murmurs, his voice muffled as he buries his face against your stomach.

on lazy mornings, he's the one to pull you back into bed, his arms tightening around you when you try to get up. "five more minutes," he mumbles, his voice still heavy with sleep. when you give in, he smiles triumphantly, pressing a kiss to your shoulder before settling back against you.

his favorite way to cuddle is when you're both lying on the couch, tangled together under a blanket. he loves resting his head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat as his fingers trace lazy patterns on your arm. every now and then, he'll look up at you with a soft smile, pressing a quick kiss to your chin or your cheek before snuggling closer.

sometimes, when he's feeling especially playful, he'll tickle you just to hear you laugh, only to pull you into a tighter hug afterward, his own laughter mixing with yours. "sorry, i couldn't help it," he says, though his grin tells you he's anything but.

with soonyoung, cuddling is more than just physical closeness—it's an extension of the way he loves. it's in the way he holds you like he's afraid to let go, in the way his presence makes every space feel a little brighter, and in the way he makes sure you always know just how much you mean to him.

┊ ➶ ｡✩‧₊˚ bonus

soonyoung has always been a bundle of energy, his personality larger than life and his affection boundless. but when it comes to the more intimate moments—the ones where the world seems to fall away and it's just the two of you—there's a quiet intensity to him that takes you by surprise every time.

it's late one evening when the two of you find yourselves curled up on the floor of his dance studio. the mirrors around you reflect the faint golden glow of the fairy lights he's strung up, the only illumination in the quiet space. he's lying on his side, his head propped up by his arm as he watches you flip through a playlist on his phone.

"that one," he murmurs, pointing lazily at a random song. but his attention isn't really on the music—it's on you. the way your face softens when you focus, the slight furrow in your brow that he wants to smooth away with his thumb.

you click on the song, the soft melody filling the studio, and set the phone aside. turning to him, you catch the way he's staring and feel your cheeks warm under his gaze. "what?" you ask, a small laugh escaping.

"you're just... really pretty," he says simply, his tone free of the usual teasing lilt. his honesty makes your heart skip, the sincerity in his eyes leaving you speechless.

you roll your eyes to hide the flutter in your chest. "don't start, hoshi."

"i'm serious," he replies, his voice quieter now. before you can deflect again, he leans in just a little, his hand reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. his fingertips linger for a second too long, the warmth of his touch spreading like fire under your skin.

the air between you shifts, and it's then you realize how close he's gotten. your breath catches as his thumb brushes against your cheek, his gaze dropping to your lips for the briefest moment before meeting your eyes again.

"can i kiss you?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, as though he's afraid the moment will shatter if he speaks too loudly.

your heart is pounding, and you manage a small nod before he closes the space between you. the first press of his lips is soft, tentative—almost shy. it's a side of soonyoung you don't see often, and it makes the kiss all the more meaningful.

but he doesn't stay tentative for long. as soon as he feels you respond, his hand slips to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. the kiss deepens, his lips moving against yours with a quiet urgency, like he's trying to convey everything he feels in this one moment.

his other hand finds your waist, his grip firm but gentle, grounding you as the world spins around you. he kisses you like he's trying to memorize every detail—the way your lips move against his, the soft hum you make in the back of your throat, the way your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt.

when he finally pulls back, you're both breathless. his forehead rests against yours, his eyes still closed as he takes a moment to steady himself. "wow," he says softly, his lips curving into a small, almost dazed smile. "you're really good at that."

you laugh, the sound light and a little giddy. "you're not so bad yourself."

but he's not done. before you can say anything else, he's pulling you in for another kiss, this one less careful and more confident. his hand slides up your back, his fingers tangling in your hair as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. there's a hunger to it now, a raw intensity that makes your knees weak, even though you're already sitting.

and soonyoung? he's completely lost in you. every kiss feels like a dance, his rhythm perfect as he draws you in and leaves you wanting more. his lips trail down to your jaw, his breath warm against your skin as he murmurs your name like it's the only thing that matters.

when he finally pulls away for the second time, he's grinning—his signature, boyish smile that makes your heart melt. "okay," he says, his voice playful but still tinged with that lingering softness. "now i'm definitely never letting you go."

and you believe him. because in moments like this—with the world quiet and his arms around you—it feels like you've found something worth holding onto forever.

⊹˚. what exactly are you to hoshi?

to hoshi, you're the spark in his world—the excitement he didn't know he needed and the calm he secretly craves. you're his muse, his confidant, and the one person who can match his energy without even trying. you're his sunshine on chaotic days, the person who laughs at his jokes (even the terrible ones), and the one he trusts with the parts of himself he doesn't show to everyone.

to him, you're not just special—you're irreplaceable.

⊹˚. how hoshi falls for you

hoshi falls for you like a whirlwind—fast, fun, and a little overwhelming. he doesn't realize it at first because he's too busy enjoying the moments he shares with you, whether it's your teasing banter, your shared adventures, or the way you somehow always manage to make his day better.

he falls for the way you light up a room, your unfiltered honesty, and the way you cheer him on—even when he's being extra.

for hoshi, it's not just one moment; it's a series of moments that stack up until he can't ignore how much you mean to him anymore. maybe it's the way you dance with him without hesitation, how you match his energy during the most ridiculous moments, or the way you just listen when he opens up about his dreams and fears.

example: it's late one night, and you're both sitting on a rooftop, eating convenience store snacks and laughing over nothing in particular. the city lights stretch out below you, and for a moment, hoshi glances at you as you talk about something random. your eyes shine, your laugh carries through the night, and his heart just stops. that's when it hits him: this is my person.

when hoshi confesses, it's going to be bold, a little chaotic, but so him. he might try to plan something elaborate—like a dance routine or a surprise party—but it'll probably go hilariously wrong, and he'll end up blurting it out in the middle of a laugh.

"okay, wait, i can't keep this in anymore!" he'll say, running a hand through his hair as his cheeks turn pink. "i really like you. like, a lot. and i know this might sound crazy, but... will you be my tiger?"

(ㅅ' ˘ )♡ when hoshi loves, it's big, bold, and unrelenting. he loves with his whole heart, making you feel like you're the most important person in his universe. he's the type to hype you up constantly—whether it's about how amazing you look, how talented you are, or how lucky he is to have you.

he's always planning little surprises to make you smile, whether it's showing up at your door with your favorite snacks or dragging you out for a spontaneous adventure just because he wants to see you laugh.

he leaves sticky notes in random places for you to find, each one with something sweet or funny: "did you know you're amazing? because you are!" or "you're cuter than a tiger cub. don't fight me on this."

hoshi's love is physical and affectionate—he's always pulling you into hugs, holding your hand, or squishing your cheeks. he thrives on closeness, always looking for excuses to be near you, whether it's leaning against you during movie night or intertwining his fingers with yours during a quiet moment.

when he kisses you, it's playful at first—soft pecks that turn into giggles—but when he really leans in, it's deep and meaningful, like he's trying to convey just how much you mean to him without saying a word.

and when you're upset, hoshi is your biggest cheerleader. he'll do everything in his power to make you smile again, even if it means acting like a complete dork just to hear you laugh. but he also knows when to be serious, offering quiet comfort and unwavering support when you need it most.

his love is an endless burst of energy, but it's also steady and grounding, reminding you every day that you're his favorite person in the whole world.

with hoshi, love feels like the perfect mix of adventure and home—wild, fun, and exactly where you belong.

a/n: i hope you guys enjoyed because i definitely did, myself. i love hoshi so much i think i love him a little too much and he's so cute i will die for him. idk what to say because writing this, i was 3 bottles drunk and i immediately sobered up thinking what hoshi might be. (i proofread this over and over again and honestly, im so proud of finally finishing this). i might make another hoshi fanfic soon. please, mom, i want himmmmm

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 9 months ago

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Pairing : OT8 x F!Reader TW : reader death ; heavy angst. (Bangchan : hospitals ; Chan in denial) (Lee Know : sudden reader death) (Changbin : drowning ; mention of police) (Hyunjin : reader has seizures ; reader in a coma) (Han : car crash ; descriptive scene of the crash ; mention of blood) (Felix : reader suicide ; Felix is angry ; slightly descriptive post mortem reader) (Seungmin : car accident ; Seungmin in the hospital ; Seungmin injury) (Jeongin : really nothing descriptive ; nothing but angst) Word Count : 3.7k A/N : This one was really sad to write, but I love angst so it was kind of fun too! I hope you enjoy! I know they’re kind of short though, I’m sorry! Request : @moon0fthenight : “24 hours after skz’s s/o death”

Bangchan

Sitting in the hospital room, the buzzing of the fluorescent light bulbs that hung above his head filled the silence from the lack of your heart monitor beeping. He stared at the empty bed, refusing to take his eyes off of it. Maybe if he stared hard enough you’d finally show up.

He didn’t want to leave the hospital without you, even though the doctors, the guys, his managers, his parents, even your parents had told him that he couldn’t wait there forever, that you weren’t coming back.

How long had it been since you had been rushed out of the little room? The TV was still on the same channel, the tray of food that had been brought to you still sat on the little pull up metal table. He wouldn’t let the doctors take it away. “She’ll be hungry when she gets back.” He would say every time someone would come in to try to clean up the room. Pity would have the doctors and the nurses relenting, backing out of the room to leave him with his grief.

24 hours he’s been without you, and he had only truly had you for less than a year before you had fallen ill. It wasn’t fair. You had been stolen from him so quickly, he didn’t have the time to process what had truly happened. He was in denial, and in the back of his mind, he knew that you weren’t coming back. That didn’t stop him from sitting and waiting still, because he wasn’t leaving. Not without you.

Lee Minho

“I’m fine.” He lied, sitting in the dorm room surrounded by all of the guys who were trying their best to be there for him. “I just want to be alone.” Not exactly though, he didn’t want to be alone, he just didn’t want to be around anyone if it wasn’t you.

Waking up in the morning beside you, it was always like waking up in a dream, the way your eyelids would flutter as the sun shone through the window, waking you in the most beautiful way. It’s how every morning began… So why did that morning have to be any different? What had gone wrong?

His eyes opened that morning, landing upon you as they would, but this time, your skin was colorless and your lips were blue… How did you still look so peaceful? It took him a moment to realize what was truly going on, and he wished that he didn’t realize at all. Would he have been able to just fall back asleep beside you? Would you be okay when he woke back up?

No one could give him answers, there was no definitive cause… You just… Decided that it was time to go, and you did. How could you just leave him like that? You didn’t even say goodbye. You didn’t give him the chance to say goodbye.

24 hours later, and he refused to go back to the apartment he shared with you. As long as he was at the dorms, he could continue to believe that it never happened, that he had never even met you, because he once he stepped through the front door, all of those memories would come rushing back, the good and the bad, and he’d have to face the fact that you truly were gone.

Seo Changbin

It was supposed to be a fun little vacation for the two of you to celebrate your 3 years anniversary. He had been so excited for it, you had been excited, everything was perfect. The trip was specifically for you, all you had talked about was how you felt bad that you had come down with the flu during your honeymoon, having to cut the trip short. This was the chance to try it again, and you both were ready for honeymoon take 2.

The current was strong, there had been warnings about it posted all over the beach, the lifeguards had warned everyone that it wasn’t safe to go far out in the water. “You’re stronger than the current, Binnie.” You had chimed, his ego swelling as you clung onto him. He just wanted you to have a great time, he wanted you to be happy, he loved seeing you smile…

He wasn’t stronger than the current, but the sound of the lifeguard whistle blowing hadn’t stopped him from carrying you out, your arms wrapped tightly around his neck as waves crashed against the both of you. It only took one wave though, he lost his footing, and that’s when he lost you. He just wanted to make you proud, he wanted to make you happy, he wanted to have a real honeymoon with you…

“She’s not gone…” Changbin kept repeating. The guys were currently flying to him, police filled the hotel room where your suitcase still sat propped open in the corner. It had only been 24 hours and the interrogations seemed never ending, but he wouldn’t give up on you, not when you were still out there somewhere. You’d come back to him, you have to.

Hwang Hyunjin

A seizure. That’s all it was… you had them rarely, but he usually knew how to handle them and how to make sure you were okay. Why was this time different? Why did it have to be different?

His hands had been shaking when he tried to call for help. He misdialed. Was it his fault? He was already crying by the five minute mark… Was he too focused on crying? Could he have done more? He tried to hold you up to keep you from choking as he waited for the paramedics… What else could he have done?

You were flailing so violently, he could barely hold you still. It was terrifying, but still, not as terrifying as seeing you strapped to a gurney and rushed out of the house as your body still seized against the straps that held you down. He felt guilty for not riding in the back of the ambulance with you, but the paramedics had told him to follow behind, and in his state of shock, he didn’t have the mental capacity to argue.

Would you have been okay if he rode with you? He got stuck at a red light as the ambulance sped forward in front of him. It wasn’t long, but it was long enough he supposed. By the time he reached the hospital you were already being rushed down the hall, and he could only stand there and watch as the emergency room doors shut right in front of him, his last view of you was through the tiny rectangular windows.

A coma… It had been 24 hours and you still hadn’t woken up. The breathing tubes and IV’s that were connected to you had him crying every time he looked at you. He couldn’t even stay in the room longer than an hour before he started hyperventilating from crying so much. You weren’t dead… But the way everyone was talking, they made it seem like you might as well have been.

He wasn’t going to give up on you though, he’d pay as much as he had to, he’d visit the hospital every day for the rest of his life just to tell you he loves you, that he’s waiting for you, just in case you can hear him. But for today, he’d sit by your bedside and hold your hand, singing to you songs that he knows you love, hoping that you can still hear his voice.

Han Jisung

Your hand was in his as you walked down the road, streetlights and the bright headlights of passing cars illuminating the two of you, your journey aimless, just enjoying the time you get to spend together. The silence was calming, there was something about just simply being the company of someone that you love so deeply that can put your mind at peace. That’s exactly where he was, a peace that was unreachable unless he was with you. That’s how he knew that you were the one, the only one for him.

Headlights moving closer, becoming brighter, enveloping the two of you in a shroud of a nearly blinding white light. Tire squeals and the honking of a horn… It was too late. No more than a second was how long it took for your hand to be ripped from his, and it was like everything was moving too fast for his mind to fully adjust. The sound of your body colliding with the steel frame of the car, the sight of you being thrown yards along the road before you fell back to the ground with a muted thud. The crumbling of the car as it smashed into a light pole, metal wrapping around metal, like nails on a chalkboard and emitting a horrid stench.

A couple more seconds to process, and then a guttural scream as he ran over to you. The lingering warmth that was left from when your hand was still in his wasn’t enough to keep him grounded. Your body was mangled, your arms twisted in a way that he had only seen in the horror movies that he’d watch with you. A pool of blood forming beneath your head, your eyes still wide open in a perpetual state of shock. It didn’t take a genius to know that you were gone, you had literally been ripped away from him in the worst way possible.

Sleep wasn’t an option, no matter how tired his body felt, whenever he closed his eyes all he could see was a constant replay of you on the ground, or you moments before hitting the street. The first and only time he had even attempted a simple nap, he had woken up screaming and all of the guys had to run in and try to help him.

“Ji…” Minho whispered as he walked into Jisungs room, the lights were all out, the man's face illuminated only by the phone screen, the brightness turned all the way up, making the dark circles under his eyes more visible and more prominent. “This isn’t good, you need to sleep… Please…”

“I should have been walking on the road side…” Jisung mumbled back, his body already beginning to rock and shudder, the incoming tears were unavoidable. “I should have moved her away faster… it should have been me… I saw her… I watched it… I didn’t know what to do… She was just… She…” Along with the tears came hyperventilation, and then retching once all the mucus built up in his throat. It happened almost every hour, his guilt eating away at him, his brain working overtime to try to think of a way that things could have ended differently.

It’s not like it mattered though, he couldn’t change the way it all happened, you were already gone. All he had left was the phantom feeling of your hand in his, a feeling that he clung onto, because once that feeling faded away, that’s when you would be fully gone.

Lee Felix

“You know that I love you, right? It’s not your fault… I want you to always remember that, no matter what. I don’t deserve you though. I don’t deserve anything… And I’m tired. I’m just so tired, Lixie… I’m sorry.”

It was sent at 3:38am eastern standard time… He was sleeping… 2:38pm korean time… If he was there he would have been able to stop you. He was on tour, you were back at home. Everything seemed fine when he left, he told you that he’d be back in 2 months, it was one of the shorter tours… It was like you waited for him to be gone… Like you didn’t want to be stopped, you didn’t want to be saved.

As soon as he saw the message when he woke up, he sent one of the managers to the apartment. He knew what they would find, he already knew, and he was already booking a flight back to Korea. The emotions hadn’t fully hit him yet, they were there, but they didn’t have a chance to really kick in until he was sitting in the airport, a text from the manager confirming what he already knew to be true.

He cried himself to sleep on the flight, and even while sleeping, his body shook from his raspy breaths and tears seemed to subconsciously fall from his eyes. All of the guys went with him, not wanting him to be alone, but most of them were in a state of shock as well, and a majority of them just cried with Felix when he did wake up.

By the time he had gotten back, you had already been identified by your parents. Felix went to visit them, offering his condolences and apologizing for not being able to save you. They didn’t blame him, but they didn’t have to, he was already blaming himself. There had to have been something he could have done to keep this from happening, and it only made him angry when everyone would tell him that what you had done would have happened regardless if you really wanted to do it.

“I want to see her… One last time, I need to see her…” 23 hours and 45 minutes, that’s how long you had been gone, and up until now he had been too scared to even think about seeing you. But it was getting closer to the funeral and he knew that he wouldn’t have any other chance to, and he would only be able to rely on pictures and videos of you afterwards.

“Felix, that’s probably not a good idea. You shouldn’t… You don’t have to do that to yourself.” Chan tried to reason, placing his hands on Felixs shoulders. “She wouldn’t want you to see her like that… Just, wait until the viewing… Then you can say goodbye.” Goodbye? There was nothing good about this, and Chans words only angered him more.

“I’m going. I need to see her.” He said more sternly this time, pushing past the oldest member and walking out the door. Maybe he should have listened, maybe he should have just held onto the memories of you that were living in his mind and in his phone. Once he saw you, he felt everything at once, and he couldn’t stop crying, he couldn’t stop screaming, he was losing his mind.

“Why did you leave me?! Why would you do this?! Fuck!” This image of you was one that he wouldn’t be able to forget, cold, lifeless, laying on the metal table. It looked like you were sleeping, and he wished that he could just make himself believe that you were. “Wake up! You need to wake up now! We have so much to do and… And you just really have to wake up, angel! Come on!” Once he tried to lift you off the bed, that’s when the doctors rushed in, having to pull him off of you. He was thrashing and kicking and screaming, and all anyone could do was cry as they watched from the hallway. He had lost you, but they were slowly losing him because of it… Felix was gone, replaced by a bitter sadness and an anger towards himself that would never go away.

Kim Seungmin

“Seungmin, I think that person behind is drunk or something. You should really just let them go around…” You had said, turning down the radio and watching through the rearview mirror as the car behind you swerved in and out of lanes, coming closer and closer to the back of Seungmins car.

“We’re fine. It’s probably just one of those assholes that’ll weave in and out of traffic and piss everyone off.” Although you saw his eyes narrow as they flashed up into the rearview mirror, cursing under his breath before flicking on his blinker to change lanes. Just as he began to move into the other lane, the car hit the back of Seungmins. It happened in a flash, his foot slamming on the brakes as his right hand flew out to hold onto you.

That was the last thing he remembered before waking up once again, the flashing lights of the emergency vehicles and the sound of metal scraping metal as the car door was being cut off. He tried to turn his head, but that’s when the pain kicked in and he let out a scream… And then the panic set in when he didn’t hear you. Had you already been taken out of the car? He slowly moved his head in your direction, biting back the scream that threatened to escape him as the pain shot through. “Y/N…?” He whispered your name when he saw you, but there was no response. “Honey… Answer me please…” He pleaded, his breaths coming faster, but they were restricted as the seatbelt strained against his chest. This couldn’t be happening… This was a nightmare, it had to be…

“How are you feeling?” Hyunjin asked from the couch at Seungmins bedside. He was still in the hospital, being monitored for the concussion he had gotten from the accident. It had been 24 hours, and soon he would be discharged, but he’d be walking out alone, he’d be going home alone. You didn’t make it, the airbag on your side hadn’t deployed and… He didn’t want to think about what the doctors had told him, he was trying to hold himself together, at least when the guys were around.

“I’m fine.” He muttered, staring straight forward, refusing to look at Hyunjin because he knew that if his hyung saw the tears that had begun to bead up in his eyes, he would only make things worse. “I really just want to go home now. I’ve got a lot of stuff to sort through, I’ve got a lot of phone calls to make.”

“You really don’t have to do all that by yourself. The guys and I… we can help, we want to help. We know that-” Seungmin groaned loudly, cutting off Hyunjins words before he could finish them. He had heard this before from Chan and Changbin. Yes, you were gone, and yes, he was devastated, he was broken, he was pissed, but he knew that if he was given time to dwell on it, things would only be worse.

“I’m gonna sue him, I’m gonna sue him for everything he’s got. I don’t care about the money though, I don’t want his fucking money, I don’t need him to pay my medical bills, I don’t want anything from him but his suffering. I want him to suffer… I want his life to be living hell because that…” His voice broke, his fists balling up the blanket that covered him as a choked off sob escaped him. “That is how my life is now… Without her… So if you could just… Kindly let me handle this… On my own… That would be great.”

Yang Jeongin

“Robbery at local store : 4 Injured and 1 Dead in a Robbery Gone Wrong”

“Isn’t that the Alexander McQueen that Y/N works in?” Jisung asked as he watched Jeongin scroll through the news article that was still live at the moment. Of course it was the same store that you worked in, that’s why he was reading the damn article… Although he didn’t say that though, he wasn’t going to be shitty towards one of the guys just because he was panicking a little bit (a lot).

“I’ll just call her real quick… They already caught the person who did it. She should be okay now.” Jeongin said, trying to keep his voice from wavering. He didn’t want to let on that he was slowly but surely losing his mind not hearing anything from you.

The line rang a few times before it was picked up, and after some silence, a throat was cleared. “Hello.” A male's voice came through the speaker and Jeongins heart sank. “This is Detective Lee, who is this?”

“Her boyfriend. Where is she?” Jeongin didn’t introduce himself as anything but your boyfriend, right now his only worry was your whereabouts and why you hadn’t reached out to him. If something like this was going on in his building he would have called you already to let you know that he’s okay.

“Sir, I’m… I’m very sorry… But-“

“Nope!” Jeongin cut the detective off, pushing himself up off the couch that he had been sitting on, catching the attention of the other guys that sat around the room. “That’s not funny, don’t mess with me like that. I-I’d really like to speak to her now. C-can you put her on the phone? Please!”

“I know that this is hard for you… But we need you to come down to the hospital… and identify her…” The detective said solemnly, feeling Jeongins pain through the phone.

He broke, right then and there, he broke down. He threw his phone across the room, not caring as the screen shattered to bits against the wall before crumbling on the floor. His hands flew to his hair, pulling at it as he let out the most pain filled scream. The guys caught him before he could fall to the floor, their arms encircling him and trying to hold him up.

No amount of time would make this easier for him, but the hardest was the first 24 hours. His eyes were burning from crying so much, his throat burned, his chest hurt. He couldn’t even move, he felt so weak, his head hurt and he felt sick. He couldn’t stop crying, whenever he would stop, he’d think about you and he’d cry again, the sobs were heartwrenching, curled up in the fetal position and clutching onto your pillow.

You’d never lay beside him again, he wouldn’t be able to wake up to your morning kisses, he wouldn’t be able to cuddle beside you on the couch anymore. You were gone, you’d always be gone, you were never coming back. A piece of him died when you did, and that would piece of him, his heart, would always be with you, wherever you were, and he’d wait forever to finally be with you again.

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