#and I was reading nark fics as I do and I was like fuck I need to rant abt them now
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lunarrosette · 29 days ago
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I recorded a 14 minute voice memo ranting abt nark last night gang they’re rotting my brain 💀
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butchersboobs · 28 days ago
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Twist (Part Two)
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A Billy Butcher POV fic
You may need more tissues.
NSFW under the cut- MDNI
READ PART ONE HERE
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I musta been 'ere at least three hours now, an' I swear t'God - that boy ain't stopped bombin' about once. 
'Appy little chappy, 'e is. Always yappin' and gigglin' away - eyes bright as a bloody summer’s day. 
For someone 'oo's never played a game wiv a kid before today, I don't fink I'm doin' too bad. I've bin chasin' the little bugger 'ere, there 'n every-bloody-where for the last 'alf hour, makin' 'im laugh wiv me ridiculous dinosaur noises - an' I'm fuckin' knackered. But the way 'e looks at me - like e's 'avin the best day of 'is life? Bloody'ell. Even completely fuckin' knackered feels good. Real good.
And then you walk in.
You stand there in the doorway, arms crossed tight across yer chest. And you got that fuckin' look on yer face - one I know all too bloody well. The one that says yer about firty seconds away from bustin' me bollocks over summink that's narked ya.
The whole room suddenly feels off, some'ow. Like ya sucked all the warmth and joy out the place the second ya stepped frew that door.
"Alright, Ollie, time to tidy up now," you say. Christ - even yer voice is stone cold. I bet you've been sat frew there plannin' whatever this is gonna turn into all afternoon, aintcha. Some fings never change.
Ollie’s face falls straight away. E's confused, poor lad. 'E looks up atcha like ya just told 'im Christmas is cancelled. "But me an' Billy playin’, Mummy. Five more minutes pleeease?" he asks, bless'im, holdin' five fingers up.
But you don’t care. Ya don’t even blink. "No - not today. Billy’s got to go. It’s time to go get your jarmies on. Now please, Oliver."
What the fuck ya bein' like this for? We were  'avin a whale of a time, me 'n 'im - five more minutes won'urt, surely? Are ya really that fuckin' desperate to take 'im away from me again? Jesus Christ. No need to upset the boy like this, f'fucksake.
"Can Billy come play t'morrow?" he asks, 'is bottom lip wobblin', tears in 'is eyes..
I'm about to say 'Yeah, I'd like that..' when you let me 'ave it - both fuckin' barrels.
"Billy’s a very busy man, baby. We won't see him again after today. So let's say byebye, and then get ready for bed, yeah? There's a good boy…"
Me stomach drops. The fuck you just say? I can't believe you actually just fuckin' said that. And ya never even flinched.
I can’t fuckin' fink straight. 
I just watch Ollie, me 'eart breaking. 'E runs over, wraps 'is tiny arms round me legs and just sobs. "B….bab-bye, b..Billy."
I bend down 'n pick my beautiful little boy up - little fing's light as a fevva. And I 'old 'im close t'me. I don' ever wanna let 'im go. I rub 'is back, rock 'im gently for a minute or two.
I kiss the top of is 'ead, 'n I tell 'im "There then, s'alright mate - don't you worry yerself, right? Don't you cry. We've 'ad a lovely day playin', ain't we, ay? I've never 'ad so much fun in me life! Now, listen t'me, yeah - I promise ya, I'll come back 'n see ya as soon as I can, right? You're a good lad, Oliver. Now, can you do me a favour and go play in your room, yeah? Put them dinosaurs to bed. Billy needs to 'ave a little chat wiv yer mum, OK? There's a good boy." 
I set 'im down, an' off he mopes, all dejected.
And when 'e's gone upstairs, summink inside me snaps.
I can’t 'old it back no more. The rage. I fuckin' can’t. 
Me fists are clenched that tight I can feel me knuckles turning white. 
I’ve been patient. Kept me fuckin' mouth shut in front o'the kid.
But now - I’m fuckin done. 
Done wiv you, ya fuckin' bitch.
"'Appy now, ya spiteful cunt? Some fuckin'   muvva you are. Fuck me…"
"I won't be happy 'til you get the fuck out of my house and away from MY fucking son, Billy…'
“Are you fuckin' stupid or summink? You seriously thought I’d just show up 'ere, play wiv'im for an hour, and then just fuck off like it’s no big deal?” Me fuckin' anger's still spirallin'. "You really believe that’s all I fuckin' came 'ere for?"
You just stand there, all defensive. Fuckin' arms crossed again, like you’re waitin' for me to apologise for givin' a shit about me own kid. You got some fuckin' nerve, girl, after everyfin you've done.
"You knew what this was," you say, all calm and collected, as if I’m the one in the fuckin' wrong. "You just wanted a chance to meet him properly. That's what you got. And now, you can fuck off."
I can feel the blood rushin' to me 'ead.
Fuckin'ell. 
"Yeah, I said that, didn’t I?" I snarl atcha,  steppin' closer, not even givin' you an inch. "And now, I’ve changed me mind. I ain't fuckin’ goin’ anywhere. You fink ya can stop me seein' 'im, do ya? Fink that's your fuckin' decision t'make?"
You keep yer gob shut for a fuckin' change, probly finking ya got some kinda power 'ere, some kinda control. But you fuckin' ain't. Not no more.
"You can kick off all ya fuckin' like," I yell, takin' another step toward ya. "But you ain’t keepin' my son from me. You fucking 'ear me?"
And then I see it. You’re scared. 
You're tryin' ya best to 'ide it, but I can see it in yer eyes. 
You fink I’m gonna back off, dontcha, ay? Fink I’m just blowin' steam. Well, I fuckin' ain't, I can promise you that, love.
"Who the fuck d'ya fink you are, ay? You fink ya can keep me out 'is life, like I don’t fuckin' matter? He's my fuckin' son! An' i'm fuckin' tellin' ya now - you ain't fuckin’ walkin' away wiv 'im again. Not now, not ever. Do you fuckin' understand me?"
Your face twists. You’re angry now. But I don’t give a fuck.
I ain't fuckin' interested in anyfin' you gotta say right now. I can't even bear to be in the same fuckin' room as ya. So off I fuck. I'm so fuckin' mad I pretty much rip yer fuckin' door off, just openin' it. I stand in the doorway and look back over me shoulder.
“I’ll be back to see the boy again, very soon.” I tell ya, tone bitin', venomous. "And God fuckin' 'elp you if you try t'stop me."
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Tags: @babyfri3dric3 @dumpy-little-nobody @bohemianblasphemy @smallsadjellyfish @frank3nfag @noonwardmoss @rebelled-angel @karlurbanism @jax-the-oregonian @chocolategiverzombie @scxrchedearf @bluemerakis @enchantedflameandflower @allirose18 @chiefcreatorcreation @bobabilbil
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ficitig · 24 days ago
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I fell head over heels in love with the Dungeons & Daddies podcast this year. And just like always, a new fandom means new fics! Hear’s everything I filed away this year for my favorite D&D podcast!
A Simple Man — 8K | Meryl/Stud: 5 times Stud flirts with Meryl shamelessly and 1 time Meryl reciprocates
Dogs Can’t Hug Back — 2K | Gen: Ron wonders why he doesn't make Glenn a dog for his memories, and it becomes simultaneously extremely important and unimportant
Harbor, Haven, Home — 44K | Terry Sr/Samantha/Ron: When Terry Junior suggests they get a dog to help his dad enjoy exercising, he's expecting his mom to bring home a schnauzer, not a weird new friend. He doesn’t get why his dad likes this guy too. Terry Junior just wanted a dog….
How to Kidnap a Child (With Their Consent) — 6K | Meryl/Stud: Or: Stud said "Ron is my child now"
I Could Use Some Friends For a Change — 5K | Gen: After the worst school dance of...this year, at least, the cool teens go to Denny's, eat their feelings, and talk it out
I Just Want (You) to Know Who I am — 5K | Gen: Nicolas was quiet for a moment, trying to get his breathing under control. When he spoke, his voice was small, and he looked up at Glenn when he asked, “Can you play another song?”
I Swear I’ll be Gone in the Morning — 11K | Nark: Lark and Nick spend one last night together before shit hits the fan
I Wanna Fly Away From My Own Skin and Find a Better Place — 4K | Grant/OMC: Grant goes to Senior Prom to feel normal (for once) but his date doesn't have the best intentions
Laugh Lines — 7K | Gen: Just a few years after Code Purple, Lark and Henry have to babysit Sparrow's kids together. Just for a moment, everything is going to be alright
Love is Stored in the Dad — 7K | Oakson: Two of the dads come to some pretty shocking revelations about each other and themselves. Darryl figures things out and makes a move, Henry gains a new hat and a new emotion, Glenn is there, and Ron helps
Monkey See, Monkey Do — 11K | Bill/Christine, Glenn/Morgan, Cassie/Nick: An introspective of the Streep/Close/Foster family parallels (& differences)
No Tomorrow Life! — 36K | Gen: On the way to the regional soccer tournament, a bus accident leaves five pre-teens and an eight-year-old stranded at the bottom of a cliff. That would have been bad enough, not to mention the crazy gunmen that seemed to have it out for them
Oak Obstacle, The — 11K | Mercedes/Henry/Darryl: Darryl's been divorced from Carol for a few years now, and the Oak-Garcias present a confusing yet attractive obstacle in his day-to-day. They end up coming over for a swim, and Darryl has to confront this issue head-on. Or, head-sideways at least
Only Twenty Minutes to Sleep — 7K | Gen: Nick tries to have a word with his son about the fact that Taylor lied about ditching his friends. Meanwhile, it turns out that the aftermath of getting tear gassed fucking sucks, and if Taylor can't get to sleep, he'd at least like to be left to complete his Digimon marathon in peace, please and thank you
When the Truck Radio’s Broken — 5K | Cassie/Nick: Nicholas has to go back, again, for his son and his weird friend. This time, he decides to drive them back himself, before either off them can run off and cause more problems. But a few more hours with the son you abandoned may not be as fun as it sounds, especially when one is Taylor Swift [read whole series]
White Lies and Misty Eyes — 4K | Gen: Sparrow over the years, from Lark’s perspective
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paintedlight · 1 year ago
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I couldn't write fast enough to finish my hand/hope prompt fic by nark week, but I thought I would share a tiny snip as a down-payment :)))) read ~400 words of closed fist, split lip (now completed!) below the cut!! @nark-week
“Wait–” His eyes snap down to Lark’s bare fists. “Lark– what the fuck?” Lark lands a final kick and straightens, rolls out his shoulder. “What?” “Are you seriously boxing without gloves? Not even wraps? Nothing?” “You know,” he says, ignoring Nicky’s protests as he gets back into form, “I liked it better when I could have some privacy at fucking midnight without a demon hovering over my shoulder.” Well, that’s too damn bad. Because when Nicky does hover over his shoulder, he spots growing bruises all the way to the wrists, new cuts splitting across the rise of his knuckles. He yanks Lark away from the punching bag. “Well this demon just brought you a healing potion,” he says as he pushes the sparkling blue vial into his chest. “So you’re fucking welcome.” “You–” Lark sneers and pushes him away. “Did Sparrow put you up to this?” “Put me up to it?” Nicky scoffs. “Your wrists–” “So you decided to follow me–” “–are like, purple, dude–” “–force me to take this fucking potion–” “–it’s not like I’m poisoning you, man–” “What do you care?” Lark snaps as he shoves him again, harder this time, and Nicky stumbles back toward the center of the room, gripping the vial to keep it from flying from his hand and shattering on the floor. He’s not an idiot– he know it’s probably not the best time to escalate the situation. But Lark’s eyes are wide, pupils so deep and dark they shutter out the green. The sweat he’d worked up still hasn’t dried on his skin. The only way he’d agree to a healing now is if he got hurt bad enough for it to piss him off in the morning. Nicky eyes his bruised hands, screwed into tight fists by his sides, and grins. He’s not an idiot, but he is an opportunist. “Maybe,” he sings, “I just think you’re being stupid.” Lark towers over him, so close that Nicky has to choose whether to stare in his eyes or at his mouth. But he can’t choose, taking in the whole of his face as Lark’s jaw clenches. “You better watch your fucking mouth, Foster,” he hisses, and– there it is. Smoke rising from the volcano. Nicky’d be terrified if he wasn’t all but unkillable.
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babacontainsmultitudes · 2 years ago
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highjinx, gun control, and terrow,
Howdy!!! :] thanks for entertaining me with this hehe- I'll do these slightly out of order!
(also just to be clear when I say “I like it platonically” for these I don't mean that it isn't romantic for me per se, just that I could appreciate it as a purely platonic thing as well)
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Highjinx (Sparrow/Nicky): JNANFNGSPEONGPROJNHPSONHOSP GOD THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME MY BABIIEEESSSS- *breathes in* One day we'll collectively agree on a ship name for them. It made me happy that you like this option though!
:3 These two seriously are everything to me tbh. This is my oldest (serious) dndads rarepair!!! And prolly my first kiddad ship aside from maybe some Grant/Terry (which I still enjoy but shipped it most strongly during my first S1 listen). I guess for a number of reasons I've always been pretty shy about this one, which you've been around long enough to verify hahaha. Thanks for being one of the first people to entertain my thoughts on these two! 🥰 I still think about that little eyeliner hc you sent in.
>:] THAT SAID I SEE ALL OF YOU CATCHING THE BRAINROT FOR THIS SHIP HEHEHEHEHEHEH AND LET ME JUST SAY I AM FUCKING THRILLED TO SEE IT 💜 and rather surprised tbh! I think in my cynicism I'd sort of succumbed to the notion that this ship was doomed to be unpopular (perhaps especially since Nark is so very very popular!)- and yet!!! It appears there is hope for my little otp 💜
In theory I have a lot to say about these two and their dynamic, in practice I am very sleepy eheheheh. I could certainly entertain a lot of flavors for them but, as a baseline, I guess the original appeal for me came in seeing their dynamic (particularly as teens) as being similar to Fiona and Marshal Lee from Adventure Time? Which, no worries if you haven't seen but in short yeah just like this sweet sorta playful puppy love but with that particular sort of Hades/Persephone aesthetic (<- as Happi put it!!!). 🥰🌸 Sparrow would make Nicky flower crowns, Nicky would give Sparrow his jacket when he's cold, you know how it is. There's definitely also something to be said about Nicky having all his attachment issues coupled with Sparrow being so openly affectionate- Sparrow would give Nick the hugs that he really really needs and Nick would be all flustered and it would be very very cute ahahaha. I mean, I'd have way more to say about them and different aspects of their dynamic tbh but we'd be here forever so I will stop here!!!
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Terrow (Terry x Sparrow): They're cute!!! SO admittedly I think when it comes to this ship I just can't really seem to picture them together romantically? Idk, it's missing something for me! *That said*, it's made me happy to see this ship grow in popularity actually! They have a very wholesome dynamic, very soft, and I love that for them. Platonically I super see this though, and in general I'd really love to see some proper interactions between them in canon tbh, as a treat!
Okay! Last one.
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Gun Control (Lark x Terry): I'm literally never getting over this ship name. Anyways.
THEY'RE SO FUCKING FUNNY DUDE????? I'll be real, this ship made no sense to me at first but then (I think while reading a snippet from one of Nyx's fics really) it just fucking *clicked*?? And now I really really like this ship actually!?
Like. For me much of this ship relies on the premise that, unlike Nicky and Grant, Terry is literally just fucking *immune* to Lark and his bullshit. Like, nice try idiot you can't make him worse actually!!! And so in the process... I think Terry makes Lark better actually!
Not that they don't have conflict, in fact they probably have plenty but, it's much more lighthearted than the other Lark ships I think? I don't know, to me they are very goofy, and I mean that very affectionately. It's an underrated ship!
:3 Thanks so much for the ask Rae!!!
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al-the-remix · 3 years ago
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How about 40 and 14?? Any penguins rare pair!
Jason Zucker/Jeff Carter -- Bodyguard AU + Almost Kiss (+ Mob Fic)
Jason leaned further over the top rail of the pool table than was strictly necessary to make his shot, exaggerating his look of dismay when his rebound slowed to a stop a mere centimetre from the pocket he’d been aiming for. 
The grad students he was currently hustling snickered amongst themselves. Jason looked back over his shoulder, chancing a wink at Carter where he skulked in a booth facing the pool tables. He looked like a nark, dressed in his heavy black overcoat and nursing a beer alone like he had nowhere better to be. He clearly hadn’t bothered to read Jason’s text with his suggested dress code. 
Jason tipped the bill of his black baseball cap at him. There were few occasions where Carter ever out dressed him. Jason had retired his own preferred uniform of designer suits and Italian leather shoes for a grey t-shirt and ripped jeans. 
Even in the dim light of the bar, Jason could make out the roll of his eyes. 
Now that just wouldn’t do.
He crossed the space between them, planting his ass on the edge of Carter’s table, his calf dangling down between his spread knees. Jason could tell the other man was coiled tighter than a spring, ready to be launched off in any direction creating destruction and chaos along the way. 
“You need to relax,” he said, curling his fingers around Carter’s warm beer bottle and taking a swig, letting it linger despite the sour taste. He could feel Carter’s eyes on the bob and stretch of his throat. 
Carter was still watching him when he set the drink down; eyes more grey than blue and intense under the deep shelf of his brow. Jason let his eyes follow the uneven ridge of his nose to the flat, unimpressed line of his mouth. Jason had always found his cupid's bow surprisingly delicate. He supposed it was the one soft edge that couldn’t be beaten out of him. 
“Are you done with your little show?”
Jason let his smile turn sly. “So you noticed?”
Carter let out a sigh. “I’m serious. It looks like Torrio is wrapping up his business--”
“I know,” Jason cut in and Carter nodded, no talkback this time. He knew that despite his antics Jason did actually take his job seriously.
“Make it quick then.”
“I always do,“ Jason said with another indulgent wink. He even thought he heard Carter laugh under his breath. 
Baby steps.
Jason turned his loss into a victory in under ten, showing off for Carter, specifically, and not being subtle about it at all. He happily pocketed his winnings from his baffled opponents. Yeah, so they probably needed it more, but he was teaching them a valuable life lesson. 
Carter tossed him his jacket when he was finished and they made their way out through the kitchens into the alley, providing a perfect view of Torrio’s car.  
In the alley, Rust had the hood of his sedan popped and was fucking with the mechanisms to make it look like he was busy. Jason didn't let his attention linger on him. Rust had moved their van over so it was now occupying the parking space beside Torrio's
Jason walked confidently up the sleek looking Mercedes and lounged back against its side. No alarm, score.
Carter boxed him into the side of the car and Jason couldn't help but grin, feeling giddy. This was his favourite part, it made spending hours pulling at Carter's pigtails worth the wait.
He slid his hands under the bulk of Carter's jacket, seeking out heat. He didn't shy away from groping a little when he slid his cold, thin-gloved hands up under Carter's t-shirt.
"Fuck off," Carter gritted from between clenched teeth. He didn’t pull away.
"That's not a very nice thing to say to your date," Jason tsked, pleased when Carter didn't resist being tugged closer. "You're supposed to be keeping me warm."
"I wouldn't have to if you dressed properly," Carter muttered, but he reached up, turning Jasons' cap backwards.
The stark glow of the street lights made Carter's features look even more hooded. His unruly blond hair looked like it had been combed away from his face with nothing but his fingers.
Jason leaned in, running his nose delicately up the side of Carter's neck, sighing softly.  He brushed his lips against the rough skin right in front of his ear. "You know you don't have to play hard to get, right? You've already got my full attention.” Carter grunted, one hand landing lightly on Jason’s hip, thumb hooked inside the belt loop. Jason rubbed his lips a little more purposefully against his jaw. “If we weren’t on the job I’d let you fuck me in that alleyway till I ached.”
"God,” Carter breathed out as if he’d been sucker punched, “do you ever shut up?"
Jason grinned against his skin. "Only if you make me."
Carter leaned further into him and Jason felt it then, the hard press of him up against his stomach. He pulled Carter’s hips harder against his own so there was no mistaking it, grinding just a little to hear Carter grunt. “I knew you liked my mouth,” he whispered, gleeful. 
Carter turned his head just enough for their eyes to meet, for his crooked nose to nudge softly into the dip of Jason’s cheek. He could feel the other man’s breath sail softly over his mouth and wetted his bottom lip, so, so ready for it. 
Thee heard the distant commotion coming from the entrance, then a loud, agitated voice directed at them. 
“Fuck,” Jason muttered, bracing himself against Carter. "Here we go." 
The play always went the same and thugs always fell for it. He and Jeff would distract the muscle while Rust came up from behind and snagged whoever it was they’d been sent to grab. 
Carter happened to the first man that lunged at him like a freight train. Jason dodged the swipe from his own meat head, dancing around him and pulling his gun. Distantly he was aware of the third bodyguard covering Torrio and Rust who would be making his move right about now. 
Jason shot his guy in the foot, slowing him down so that Carter could take him and finish him off too. Brawling in the tight space between the parked cars made it hard to line up a shot, but it worked well for cover if you did in fact know you were about to be in the middle of a shoot out.  
“Zucker,” Carter called, “behind you!”
Jason turned just fast enough to see a fourth guy coming at him from around the van and pistol whipped him. He cringed to the side, one hand coming up reflexively to cradle his fucked up face, leaving his side exposed. Jason took the opportunity to knee him in the gut. Hard enough to keel the man over.  
Jason did shoot him then, once in the chest, the silencer on his gun muffling the echo.
He turned to see how the guys were faring. Rust, ever efficient, had a thick canvas bag over Torrio’s head and his wrists bound tight in a pair of zip ties. The guard that had been with him was dead in the middle of the parking lot, the poor sucker likely hadn’t even heard Rust coming.   
Carter was standing over the other two bodyguards, his grin was a bloody slash across his face. Jason had never wanted to kiss him more. 
“Fuck,” he said, toeing his one lousy kill in the side. “I guess I’m buying dinner again.”
“I’m in the mood for Cuban tonight,” Carter said, neatly wiping down his gun and replacing it in its holster beneath his coat. 
Rust was already working around them, shoving Torrio into the back of the van. He had no appreciation for a little post mark flirting. 
“It’s time to go,“ Rust said not un-impatiently as he jogged back towards his sedan. Always in such a rush. 
Jason rolled his eyes. “Good work,” he said, smacking Carter’s ass before rounding the car, not giving Carter enough time to get a word in. “I’m driving.”
When Carter got into the passenger seat Jason could see that he was smiling, just a little, to himself. 
The fun had only just begun.
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ohsweetflips · 5 years ago
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maybe i’m my own greatest fear (a taz grad/fitzrain fic)
A/N: i'm still trying to get the grasp of writing taz grad fic, but after episode 6 i couldn't not fic this. also my brain just keeps bouncing back and forth between loving fitzroy/argo and fitzroy/rainer so i guess i multiship now!!! reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!
also title from sorority noise’s “art school wannabe”
summary:
“This promotion? Great, wonderful! A villain? Not so good.”
“And… why?”
“Because I’m not one of the bad guys?”
(Fitzroy goes to Rainer's dorm to talk about his "new assignment" and instead realizes that he can't avoid talking about his feelings and fears any longer.)
read on ao3!!!
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Rainer’s dorm was charmingly her. It was in the space between messy and tidy; the floor was spotless and the bed made, but stacks of books and jewelry and papers (and maybe a small skeleton or two, though he was never actively looking for those) covered the surface of every desk and dresser. The door off to the side, which was to remain locked until Rainer chose her permanent hench, was covered in posters and drawings tactfully placed, and a lone calendar filled to the brim in a quill she charmed to write in whatever glittery color she desired.
Very charmingly her.
Fitzroy had rarely been here long enough to actually pay her decorum any mind. Most of the time they had alone was spent on the outskirts of campus, or in the minutes they had between classes; more often than not, them “hanging out” involved at least three other people venturing to a much more crowded place.  
Still, though, he couldn’t quite stop his feet from walking to her dorm. Rainer had no roommate, no hench, and, well… Hieronymous told him to keep his program change a secret, but when has he ever been able to keep a secret, anyway?
“I half expected you to already be at the tavern,” Rainer was saying, her back to him as she sorted through one of her notebooks (probably looking for the report she’d have to write on their field experience, or more so a report on how promising the kicks and henches seemed). “Maybe even bickering with Argo over who’s paying for drinks.”
She looked around the high-back of her chair and shot him a smile.
“Please, Rainer,” he said, hoping that his smirk and posture maintained his poise and not the thoughts that were racing through his head. “I’m enough of a gentleman to know to pay for my friends’ drinks.”
“I know you are,” Rainer said, softly, and Fitzroy was thankful that it was then that she turned back to her desk so she wouldn’t have to see the red rising in his face.
Of all he expected to find at Wiggenstaff, he didn’t expect Rainer.
Or, more so, of how much he expected to detest Wiggenstaff, he didn’t expect to find someone who gave him a reason to consider sticking around. He had Argo and the Firbolg, of course, and he appreciated his friends (perhaps even best friends, though Fitzroy hadn’t had any prior experience with that level of friendship), but what he had with Rainer was… different.
Which only made everything more complicated, because of course it did.
“I actually came here to talk to you,” he continued, looking up at the small lights she had hanging with the tapestry around her bed. 
Rainer snorted. “No, really? I thought you came to talk to Gary.”
Fitzroy rolled his eyes, barely trying to hold back a smile, and was about to make some witty quip about Rainer’s own when he was interrupted with a, “Hey! Rainer! See you’ve got guests up ‘ere!”
Both their eyes flashed to the now-animated gargoyle in the corner of Rainer’s room, and Fitzroy suddenly felt like he was trapped in a tank at the reminder that not only were the Garys listening, but also a hivemind . That shared information. Information that could be private.
“Yeah, Gary, it’s-”
“Is there a way that he could actually be turned off?” Fitzroy asked, thankful that his voice remained level. “Apologies for the interruption but this is, well-” He swallowed, forced a smile “-this is kind of important.”
Rainer, spinning around to face him, arched an eyebrow before, with a flick of her wrist, a small, nearly-translucent bubble formed around the Gary.
“Silence,” she explained. “My Gary isn’t a nark so it’s probably fine.”
“Perfect,” Fitzroy nodded, allowing himself a relaxed grin.
“And I’ll admit, Fitz-” and she tapped her fingers against the arm of her chair “-You’ve got me kinda nervous here.”
“Well, no, you see- it’s fine, really.”
“That’s a lot of filler words for fine.” Still, she smiled and cocked her head.
“A lot of filler words for great, actually!” Fitzroy assured, to her and himself. “I’ve actually moved up in the so-called hierarchy here! Our dear Headmaster wants to put me into the hero-villain tract!”
Rainer’s glee was almost enough to make Fitzroy think that perhaps this wasn’t the complete end of everything. “Fitz, that’s amazing!” she exclaimed, moving her chair closer in so that she could tightly grab his hands. “We can all have classes together! You and me and Buck and Rolandus and his crew—don’t worry, they’re really all super nice—it’ll be so much fun!” She then furrowed her brows, suddenly serious, and, if possible, she squeezed his hands tighter. “What about Bud and Argo, though? Where are they going?”
“Oh, they’ll be fine,” he said, smiling. “They’ll be coming with me! As my- well, we all have to talk soon, but I assume they’ll be by my side.”
“Oh, like sidekicks!”
Fitzroy then sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, grimacing. “And that , my dear, is when things start to get a little complicated.”
“What do you mean?” Rainer asked, frowning. “Don’t tell me- they’re not leaving, are-”
“Oh, no!” Fitzroy shook his head quickly. “No, not at all. They’ll be coming with me, but as… Well, you see, when good ole’ Hieronymous bumped me up, he didn’t… bump me up to being a hero.”
“Oh, so you’re a villain!”
Fitzroy was proud of himself for holding back a flinch. “Apparently so.”
“Oh, Fitz! That’s so cool! It’s honestly really fun. A lot of the professors are actually super cool, which is nice because some of the content , oh boy, and-”
Fitzroy worried his bottom lip, trying to hold back the nerves and… aggravation that bubbled up in him. “But-” he interrupted “-but do you see the… issue… here?”
Rainer paused, studying him for a moment. “No?” she finally responded, equal parts confused and suspicious.
“This promotion? Great, wonderful! A villain? Not so good.”
“And… why?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Because I’m not one of the bad guys?”
Rainer froze for a moment and, while she gaped at him and then over at the stacks of textbooks and notebooks, it was then that Fitzroy realized that, perhaps, he fucked up. 
Dropping his hands right back into his lap, she huffed and moved herself back. “Wow, Fitz, super cool.”
“Rainer, wait,” he sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?” She asked, annoyance coloring her own voice. “Because, honestly, if you think I’m a bad guy-”
“No, it’s-” Fitzroy found himself fumbling for words as his eyes darted around Rainer’s dorm to focus on anything but the scowl on her face “-it’s not that.”
“Then what?”
“It’s just-” An exasperated sigh left him again and, in resignation, he threw his hands up “-the villains are the ones we fight against!”
She narrowed her eyes. “Who’s we? ”
“The Maplecourts!” he exclaimed. Once, simply stating the family name would make one think of knighthood. “We’re- we’re a long line of knights who are trained to fight evil and that is what I am meant to do!”
“Okay.” Rainer pinched the bridge of her nose, shutting her eyes tight. “You know equating villains with evil is pretty archaic, right? Like, there are heroes who are capital-E evil who just, I don’t know, fudged the budget, and then there are heroes who are capital-E evil because they actually did some really bad stuff. Like, I know that you know that.”
His head fell back as he huffed again. “You’re not getting it.”
“No, I’m really not!”
Looking back down at her, he shook his head. “I can’t be a villain!”
“Why? Villains aren’t automatically bad people!”
“I know! It’s just- the Maplecourts- we’re knights! ”
It was Rainer’s own turn now to throw her hands up. “You can still be a knight!”
“But not really! ” He snapped, his temper beginning to creep through as he struggled to restrain his volume.
“Why, Fitzroy? Why?”
“Because- because everyone expects me to be a knight so that’s what I need to do and-”
“Enough about everyone else!” Rainer snapped back. “I don’t care about everyone else! Only you! So, what do you think, Fitzroy? Why is this an issue for you? ”
“I’m terrified that this is all a mistake!” Fitzroy finally rushed out, unable to find it in him to care that he was near shouting. “I’m terrified that my time here is just derailing the future that I’m supposed to be taking! And- And this place isn’t the worst, okay? Argo and the Firbolg are my best friends and I love you but I am also so scared that I’m going to get out of here and there’s going to be nothing left for me! My family isn’t going to want a villain, Clyde’s Knight School isn’t going to want a knight who fought against the good that they strive to maintain, and- honestly, it felt like this school didn’t want me either! I just don’t want to keep going from nothing to nothing while everyone else gets to have the lives they all fucking hoped and dreamed for!”
Fitzroy, his breathing almost as shaky as his hands, looked pointedly away from Rainer. He blinked quickly, trying not to pay too much attention to how his eyes burned and, instead, tried to take down his anger—at Rainer for seeing through him, at himself for letting his temper burst out—before his magic decided to go wild. 
He could already feel it thrumming through his veins, hot and chaotic, and the last thing he wanted was to destroy anything else.
He really didn’t like fighting with Rainer.
Suddenly exhausted, with every bone in his body weighing a ton, he let his head drop in his hands and roughly pressed his thumbs into his temples.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice much quieter now. “It’s just-”
He was interrupted by a hand rubbing gentle circles on his back, and he looked up to find Rainer sitting next to him. Quickly, he ducked his head back down. Rainer didn’t deserve to see him like this: a small, scared animal lashing out in a final act of defense.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, quiet and, in his knightly opinion, pathetically fragile.
“It’s okay to be scared,” Rainer said, her hand finding its place of rest on his shoulder. “It’s okay to feel lost, even. But also… don’t run away from opportunities just because they scare you. That’s not you.”
He let out a weak laugh and finally picked his head up, flashing her whatever he could muster of a smile. “It’s pathetic though, isn’t it? I’m trained to be at the front-line in battle and I’m- I’m losing my cool because of academics .”
“Don’t just dismiss yourself like that,” she sighed. “It’s not pathetic, and obviously you’re upset over more than just some classes.”
“I just…” He released a breath, shoulders sagging. “Not to be incredibly dramatic, but it feels like my life keeps falling to pieces.”
“And I wish there was something I could do.”
He smiled slightly and rested a hand on her knee. “You don’t have to go through that trouble for me.”
“Maybe not.” Rainer shrugged. “But I want to.”
Fitzroy swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat.
“I think… I think you’re going to be okay,” Rainer continued. “I think things are going to be normal again, and I think you’re gonna like the new program-” Her voice then quieted “-Plus, being a villain isn’t so bad.”
The heat of shame rushed to his face and, trying to find the right thing to say to make up for that , he shook his head.
“I shouldn’t have said any of that to you,” he whispered.
Rainer shrugged with a half-hearted smile. “It’s okay.”
“No-” Fitzroy shook his head again, taking her hands “-it really isn’t.”
Rainer looked away for a moment, worrying her bottom lip. “I… well, okay, yeah, the whole villain comment hurt, but it’s- it’s fine.”
“But it really, really wasn’t okay,” he said, catching Rainer’s eye. “That was a major asshole move of me. You… you are nowhere near a bad person, Rainer. Not only are you a great person, a good person, you… you’re one of the best.” She smiled, a true one this time, and Fitzroy gently cupped her cheek. “It was unfair of me to… to generalize and take my frustrations out on you. And I- I really am sorry.”
“It’s okay, really,” Rainer said, placing her hand over his. “You’re forgiven.” 
“Thank you,” he said quietly.
A smirk dashed across her face. “You just might have to retake a class or two on chivalry.”
He gave her a smile. “A small price to pay.” 
Rainer’s smirk turned into a smile as well and, for just a moment, she studied him. “Are you going to be happy here, Fitzroy?”
He faltered.
If he had been asked that at orientation, the answer would have been short and simple: absolutely not. Happy? At Wiggenstaff’s when he was just attending Clyde Nite’s Night Knight School? How could he be?
Now, though, the answer wasn’t so easy.
“I want to be,” he finally said, sighing. “And, push comes to shove, I really do like it here. I have you, and I have our friends. It’s just… I want to be happy. But-” he scratched the back of his neck “-I think it’s obvious I have some stuff I need to work on. Nothing the school can fix… Honestly, I should be grateful to have this offer. It’s just… me-stuff, you know?”
Rainer nodded. “And we’ll be here to help you out. We all want you here, love you being here. I love you, Fitz. And I think you should take this opportunity. I know it’s not what you expected, but it can still get you a foot in the door. And… I’m not gonna pry, and I don’t know what I can do to help with all the family stuff and the Clyde’s Knight school stuff but… I think they would all just want you to be happy. Want you to do what you want to do. And if that’s being a knight, great! But if you end up doing something else and loving it? Then they should love that for you.” She then leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “And… if anything, we’re your family, too. And we’ve got your back.”
Fitzroy smiled, and found himself very lucky to have Rainer in his corner. “I love you, too,” he said. “And I’ll do better next time at… actually talking instead of skirting around it.”
Rainer smiled, too. “I think you’ll be okay.”
“I’ll do it for you,” he said before leaning in and giving her a kiss. His hand rested gently at her hip, one of hers ghosting over the back of his neck and, when they pulled apart, he smiled. “You and a good grade, of course. As a villain, I probably have to do a lot of talking, right? Gotta freshen up on my monologuing.”
Rainer rolled her eyes with a laugh. “ So much monologuing. And you gotta do it with a hero, too. Buck’s the worst to do it with. He’ll do a monologue while you’re monologuing to try to out-monologue your monologue.”
“Well, I’ll just have to talk really loud, I guess,” he said, laughing, too.
“I think you’ll do fine.” Rainer smiled. “I think you’ll do good. Do well … and some good, too.”
Fitzroy took her hands back in his own. “Not as good as you.”
“Who would’ve known that you were such a sap?”
“Don’t tell anyone,” he said with a wink. “I have a reputation.”
Rainer smirked. “You once lost an arm-wrestling contest with a hologram.”
He scoffed. “That was supposed to be a secret .”
“That you told everyone!” Rainer laughed before leaning forward and kissing him again. “But I can actually keep a secret, so you’re fine.”
“Your confidence is greatly appreciated,” he said, “Oh, and! I was not supposed to tell anyone that I’m a villain now, either, so keep this on the DL as well.”
“Fitz!”
“But hey! Now that we’re gonna have classes together, we can pass fun, secret notes to each other! Dish the goss and share secrets!”
“We already do that!”
“Yeah but now we can be super sneaky about it!”
Rainer, shoving his shoulder, laughed. “I swear, if you make my GPA drop-”
“I would never!”
“I already have to deal with Buck trying to talk to me all the time! And sometimes Rolandus, too, when he’s feeling particularly fight-y… with Buck. So-” She jutted a finger at him “-I have my eye on you, Maplecourt.”
He winked at her. “I know you do.”
Rainer stared at him, shaking her head, though she was only able to hold off a smile for so long. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Love you, too,” Fitzroy said, pressing a kiss to her forehead before standing. “Well, I guess I have some roommates I need to, ah, break this news to.”
“Good luck,” she said, smiling up at him. 
“Much appreciated,” he said. 
With his hand on the doorknob, he gave Rainer one final smile over his shoulder. “See you around, my lovely partner in crime.” 
Rainer grinned. “Try not to get into too much trouble,” she said, shooting him a wink.
“I’ll try my best,” he said with a soft laugh before stepping out of her dorm.
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vainenpoika · 6 years ago
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attempted fic the first
I don't own anything belonging to J.K.Rowling and associates thereof. I also have no idea what I'm doing, and may yet regret making this available to the public.
in which the longbottoms and potters Go Way Back (read: fealty oath going back literal centuries), and so madam augusta is Immensely Narked Off when dumbledore dares to place harry with someone else and won't even arrange for playdates. clearly the only acceptable response is to raise neville on stories of potter/longbottom comradelyness and send him off to hogwarts with strict orders to invite harry over at the earliest opportunity. so when they meet on the train, neville recognizes him straight away but respects his decision to not use his last name for now - maybe he wants to make an especially dramatic entrance, that's almost traditional for pureblood heirs anyway. heavens know malfoy will be trying something similar, though plainly his discretion is not nearly up to the same standards. really, barging in like that and insulting everyone, has the boy no tact? what has his mother been teaching him? neville hardcore channels his grandmother to gratifying effect. malfoy makes himself scarce. having thus boosted his confidence, neville is actually almost expecting gryffindor, only to find himself in hufflepuff after all (the sorting hat approved of his loyalty). harry remembers what malfoy said about hufflepuff and duffers, but he also remembers neville making a right fool of him on the train, and asks the hat to put him with the badgers; the hat sees a kid following a friend and allows it. hermione was already sorted gryffindor, we'll see how that goes for her. ron weasley winds up in ravenclaw, shocking most everyone but especially his brothers. malfoy stays in slytherin. i'm sure there are other people we care about, they remain canonical until further notice.
wait, what? i thought you just didn't like formalities, i never would have thought - this is an actual problem. well. you may wish to sit down for this. comfortable? right. well, i have good and bad news for you. good news: congratulations, you're a lord! that means you get respect, extra priveliges, and even a certain amount of governmental power. bad news: i regret to inform you that you are a lord. that means you have responsibilities, and you havent been taught how to handle them. worse news: you are the last of your line, which means that i have no idea who, if anyone, has been acting as your regent. this is worrisome, especially considering it should have been their job to keep you informed and prepared. chances are that you do have one, owing to the fact that the economy has yet to outright collapse, but that they don't even close to have your interests at heart. with me so far?     i think so?     good, because i really don't know how i could have made it simpler. now, our families have been friends for a rather long time, meaning that i am honor-bound to aid you in times of need. this qualifies, though i don't expect you to take my word for it.     why wouldn’t i?     you've known me for one whole week, i could be out to steal your fortune for all you know, i would be remiss in my duty if i allowed you to trust me on one week's acquaintance so just let me do the honorable will you? and find yourself outside sources as well, i shan't have you learning all of this from one probably biased source!     this is really important to you, huh.     ... yes. on which note, lesson one: honor is important, not just for you personally but for your house. minor infractions might be forgiven but never forgotten; major infractions and you end up like the malfoys.     huh?     lord malfoy broke his oath to the king of france once a couple of centuries back, and his children had to sell everything and move to england before anyone would trust them with literally anything. they still bear the shame of it even now, and it's only in the past couple of generations that they started regaining some of the honor they might have had. you do not want to do that to your descendants.     um. yeah. how do i not do that?     simple version: do not break your given word. if you anticipate any difficulty keeping a promise, then do not make the promise. your family's oaths and alliances are something you should definitely look into, and soon, but there's also a decade's worth of general knowledge that you're missing, and some of that is urgent. family magic and honor are tied to each other, but i have no idea how sensitive to that kind of thing you may be, so if you happen to get a really bad feeling about a particular course of action, i'd look into it very closely before making a move.     oookay? is that something that's likely to happen?     it varies from person to person. don't worry about it unless it happens, just don't discount it out of hand if it does.     okay, i guess. so wait, if you have to help me out, does that mean i should be doing stuff for you too?     if i go to war, you would have to go with me, i think, and you can't try to cause me serious harm outside of extenuating circumstances, but that's not likely to come up very soon. again, this is the kind of thing you shouldn't just take on faith, so do your own research when you get the chance. alright?     ... yeah. this is kind of a lot to take in, though.     fair. i can't think of anything that really can't wait, so we could pick this up again tomorrow?     um, okay. and, er, thanks.     yeah. want to work on the herbology essay?
it's actually ron who ends up crying in a bathroom on halloween, and neville is the one who notices. harry's still the one to insist on going after him, though. when they get to the bathroom, they find ron behind a makeshift barricade that's holding up pretty well, actually, looks like he managed to magically reinforce it, but his wand is in splinters on the floor. harry jumps on the troll's back, then neville uses a chunk of stone to break its skull. ron is fucking traumatized, but also rather grateful. when the professors show up, ron is like, 'i was just taking a leak, prof', to which mcgonagall replies that this is a girl's loo, weasley, try again. (it's myrtle's loo, to be precise. this may become relevant. don't ask me how the troll got there tho) when it's all settled, the hufflepuff duo get a shitton of points and a lecture; ravenclaw in general gets an antibullying seminar and a lot more supervision, which will come in handy when luna shows up next year. ron gets a new wand, paid for out of the bullies' pocket money, and some new friends. in gryffindor, alone among jocks, hermione granger feels rather melancholy. not to worry, though, pretty soon she'll be playing chess and studying with ron in the library. it will be a longstanding joke in their year that the hat accidentally put hermione in ron's place and was too embarrassed to correct itself when he showed up.
    so. what now?     i figured we might start by answering any questions you've come up with?     um, ok. i have a list, actually.     good thought.     right. so, ah, you mentioned a regent?     yes, that is one of my own more urgent questions. whoever they are, they certainly haven't been doing their duty by you.     so how would i find out who it is?     hm. do you know who your solicitor is?     ... i have a solicitor?     okay, i should have expected that response. the answer is probably, unless your regent is actively sabotaging your house. i'd suggest writing to gringotts and seeing who they have on file. if anyone knows what's going on with your estate, the solicitor should. if not, get a new one and have them find out soonest.     right. ok, write to gringotts, then write to solicitor if available, and if they can't help then find someone who will. got it.     ... are you actually taking notes on this?     well, yes? i mean, you're taking the time to teach me what i should have already known, the least i can do is pay attention and learn quickly, right?     that... you bring honor to your house.     okay, i haven't gotten that far in my reading. what precisely does that mean, and how should i be responding?
malfoy eventually works up the nerve to apologize to harry for getting off on the wrong foot (as they've both been avoiding further antagonism) and offer an invitation to his house for the holidays, to which harry looks shifty until neville steps up and says he's already got a prior engagement, thanks, but perhaps malfoy would be up for attending the longbottom's annual yule ball? and malfoy is a bit embarrassed because yeah he should've guessed the longbottoms would've claimed first dibs on the potter, but that's a bit overshadowed by being the first malfoy invited to longbottom manor in a longass time. like, pre-immigration-to-the-isles ass time. he accepts with alacrity and runs off to write his mother. (harry asks if neville really meant it and is nearly smothered in the hug that follows. the latest longbottom is quickly coming to the conclusion that the potter needs all the hugs he can get)
    wait, so when you said that 'our houses are friends', did you actually mean something more along the lines of 'your house pays fealty to mine'? because that is what i am seeing here.     are you just now looking that up?!     peace! i thought it was the usual mutual aid alliance. i started with the more recent records, but they just say that of course our houses always act together, what more do you expect from longbottoms and potters? i've only just now gotten far enough back to figure out how we got that way, is all.     fair. yes, your ancestors did swear to mine. standard oath for that period, protection for service and mutual good faith. it doesn't really come up in daily life, just when one or the other of us gets into some sort of trouble. i'll get you a look at our family chronicles over holiday, if you like?     cool. but, er, it says something about renewal of oaths?     not until i'm confident you know exactly what you're doing. you've enough people trying to take advantage of you, i'll not add to that list. bit difficult to take appropriate revenge on myself, you see.     well. i wouldn't want to make trouble, i suppose. so remind me what devil's snare has to do with purple sponge mold again?     they're symbiotic, see; the snare needs the dark to survive, while the mold grows faster when watered with blood...
so hufflepuff house in general is more-or-less rule-abiding, but they are still teenagers and dumbledore's little speech about the third floor and death is a fucking challenge. they held a whole house meeting about it and set up their own rules, 'nobody below third year' and 'this shouldn't need saying but Share Your Findings!', and 'anyone who disobeys will be turned in to the professors, yes, bartely, that means prefects too'. because they know the younger years will unionize if they aren't included in some way, they're mapping it out on one of the walls, having bribed the weasley twins to come up with ink the professors couldn't see. by the end of the year and quirrel's little game, hufflepuff house has it pretty much figured out - the whole thing is a trap, designed to match an intruder's skill level and let them in, with just enough trouble to dispel suspicion, but not out. luckily for hufflepuff, it's designed for a single intruder, not a group. only the potions challenge seems to have taken that into account, such that if you aren't prepared only one person can get past at all. but they have most of the permutations mapped, and when harry's little squad realizes what's up, it's a hufflepuff prefect they go to. they end up making extra barriers around the area, spirit wards as well as physical - turns out ron is Real Good at Walls these days - rather than going in after, but we still get a nice dramatic scene - maybe harry helped cast one of the wards and he uses that link? maybe it's in a dream the next night? - and quirrel is still thoroughly gone.
everyone passes their exams, more or less, and then it's time to negotiate living arrangements. harry, being now old enough to have some say in the matter, uses that fealty oath to be like 'actually neville is the boss of me, headmaster, not you, and neville's gran is the boss of him, so i'll be staying with her for the holidays kthxbai', at which point dumbledore is forced to disclose the whole blood ward business rather ahead of schedule, to which madam augusta is Even More Narked, but that's when neville steps up and asks if the wards are bound to the house or to the family, because if it's the house then he's going with harry and if it's the family then they're all coming with him, so there. nobody is quite sure how to explain to the Young Longbottom that the dursleys are grown adults with no obligation to listen to him, not least because technically he will someday outrank everybody present and has no obligation to listen to any of them, but dumbledore admits that it is the house actually, so he gets to go negotiate the dursleys into letting yet another preteen cohabitate with them. in the background somewhere, ron and hermione have made arrangements to spend a week or two at each others' houses. it'll be fun. harry promises to write malfoy over the summer, having graduated to awkward-but-vaguely-friendly acquaintances. we'll see how that goes.
ron has a Supremely Awkward summer at home with his gryffindor family, and finds himself ducking into percy's room more than once for a bit of peace and quiet (percy tolerates this in exchange for a good word in penelope's ear) and avoiding the twins wherever possible. he has a great time at hermione's though, picks up a few words of french, and arthur at least enjoys hermione's return visit. they quietly agree that most future summer visits should be at her house.
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overlordraax · 6 years ago
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Im the one who sent Zen that ask about the seekers going full blown mama bird a femme seekerling youngling. And I honestly thought no one would show any interest in it, so it was more like "fuck it, let's get that plot bunny out of my head"... But now I'm tempted to write a short fic based on it ouo
If you did I would love you and I would absolutely read it! That sort of thing is totally my jam, I love the idea of Skyfire being a loving dad to this little baby seekerlet.
It’s the sort of thing I’m almost narked I didn’t think of it myself XD If you do write it please do let me know
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