#and I wanted to initially do something different with Rowena

[wigglebox]

@spnwincrossoverweek - day 2;

groovy immortals

[ananke-xiii]

More on the power of resurrection as the "apple of discord": Chuck vs Billie.

In Chuck's mind Death is not a problem because he controls space and time... he's actually right. I mean, he's definitely shitting his pants at this point but he has never respected Death enough to be worried about her (and his narrative shows just that since Death dies four times in SPN lol).

Chuck manipulates space and time and he's clearly pro resurrection. In his world people can resurrect either through demon deals or magic. Or if he says so, obvs. There always seems to be a price to pay for this, though, because Chuck is obviously the type of god that likes human suffering "for the plot".

Amara in all her "evillness" has a different point of view on the matter, for her resurrection is a gift. Which is still problematic ("what you are regarding as a gift is a problem for you to solve") but offers a new perspective: no deal, no magic, you need it? You get it.

Then there's Jack whose command of the power is still wobbly but shows all the potential to disrupt Chuck's narrative. His take on resurrection is closer to Amara: he doesn't know it but it's his desire to see Dean getting what he wants that sparkled life back into Castiel. You want it? You get it. Dangerous.

Billie, on the other hand, is NOT part of Chuck's family, so to speak. She's very ambivalent about rules: she doesn't like it when others bend them but she really enjoys being the one who bends them. Her initial affiliation and perhaps romantic connection with Crowley while many reapers "sided" with Castiel in s9 tells us that she has her own specific ideas about basically everything.

When she becomes Death, she doesn't want humans performing resurrection spells because she wants to be the one who decides who lives and who dies, thus taking on a role that is not hers to take.

S14 shows us her hypocrisy brillantly: Dean wants to die but she says that he will live; Rowena wants Crowley back (to which she should have, perhaps, been amenable as per above) but she says NO. She hides herself behind the "death books" or whatever they're called and the "natural order" for whatever it means in SPN but Rowena calls her out: it isn't fair.

And she's right. Billie ignores Rowena, doesn't care about reapers dying (she even kills one herself) and only shows up because Rowena held Sam hostage and planned on killing him.

What Billie wants, though, is very much in tune with her role as Death: she wants things "as they were", heaven and hell, humans back on the "normal" timeline, "everything in its place and a place for everything" type of mentality. She wants something she can't have in a world where God, who controls time and space, keeps changing the plot.

A mentality that clearly contrasts with her s11 rebellious streak where she would have loved to toss a Winchester into the Empty, reap God and ultimately fucking harvest the Veil for souls! THAT girl had 99 problems but being conservative was not one of them.

So why does she change? Well, becoming Death would do that to a girl but I don't think that's it. I think she kinda likes it, to be honest.

No, my conclusion is based on what she can't stop repeating at least once per season: Castiel stabbed her in the back. Billie is holding a massive grudge that she very wrongly takes on Dean. Well, maybe not so "wrongly" per se since we know why Cas acts like he does, but when she blames Dean for being chaos incarnate and a disruptor of order she's sooo off target.

If there is one character who wants order and "everything in its place and a place for everything" is Dean Winchester.

No, there is one disruptor in SPN and it's Castiel. And HE stabbed her in the back.

And his resurrection (via Jack) is what should have tipped Chuck off (as I've been trying to demonstrate with all these yappings about cas and resurrection).

Basically Chuck's mortal enemy is Jack who bestows or revokes resurrections as he pleases. But he doesn't see him. Billie's mortal enemy is Castiel, creator of cosmic consequences that dismantle the coveted "balance". And she doesn't see him. Like snakes in the grass.

[swampstew]

A Bloody Nightmare

A compilation of short stories and character building for my OC fic "What's the Magic Word?" Basically, bonus stories to build up my fic. They include stories within the time-skip period, leading up to the current manga timeline, and even in the distant distant distant future.

Summary: Kid didn't have a clue what being a Witch meant but he's about to find out. Also, discovers he does not like Ayahuasca.

Word count: 3.7K CW: Mostly SFW, Witch lore and practice/drinking/psychedelic drug use, blood imagery and usage, OC background tied to main book. Minors do not interact with my posts or blog.

Eustass Kid was no stranger to blood or gore, he was quite familiar with it, comfortable even. Seeing Rowena covered head to toe in it as she was now, was a little…unsettling.

If it was in the heat of battle Kid would find it hot; had found it erotic enough in the past to initiate intimacy while still disheveled from said battle. Hell, he’s even found it kind of sexy when she was experiencing her period. Not even that could frighten him away from seeking her out to quell the lustful need he had for her; loved seeing it on them both during those moments.

Rowena’s hair was soaked in a slain buck’s blood, dripping thick red liquid to the dusty ground by her bare feet. Her tube top and short tulle skirt were coated in it too, her limbs and body marked with bloody streaks and rune symbols she had drawn on herself from the collection bucket. The smell of burning fur and flesh filled the air as the sacrificial pyre was lit, courtesy of Heat. With a final swipe of her thumb coating her lips in blood, she laid the digit on her tongue and sucked the iron taste off her flesh.

Kid still wasn’t entirely sure he got what was going to happen, but he begrudgingly followed Rowena’s plea to not interfere. Said fuck no to her request to have him and the crew stay on the ship while she conducted the ceremony. The others had already begun eating and drinking the mead she speed made with the help of her magic. A separate brew in a black boiling pot had begun to bubble and emit smoke that curled over the pot lip and spilled to the ground, creating a thick mist.

Rowena ladled a cup for herself and turned to the crew, “Thank you all – sincerely, for allowing me the opportunity to do this. It’s been…a long ass time since I’ve been able to freely practice my rituals. My uh emotions might run high, my magic might also get a little weird, don’t worry nothing will harm any of you. It’s like a soft rite of magic task. To show I’m worthy of possessing my natural gifts and show my faith to the natural order of the world, that balance I’m always talking about.”

She took a long sip of her drink, taking a long-suffering sigh from the taste. “Never liked this brew. Anyways, please enjoy the food, the music, and the drinks. Don’t drink this stuff though, it can be compared to Ayahuasca and if you’re familiar with that, you’ll know it’s not something that should be taken lightly.”

“We’re not pussies, Witch!” Wire yelled from the food table.

Rowena cracked a smirk at that, “That’s fair. You’re all the scariest motherfuckers I know. Ok take at your own risk. Whatever your drink of choice is, no matter how little or much you indulge, please be aware of your surroundings. If you find yourself in any kind of…state where you think something sounds too good to be true, or you find yourself unknowingly wanting to commit to something, politely decline.”

Everyone stared at her in confusion.

She let out another long-suffering sigh, “It’s not been known to happen often. In fact, I’d never seen this happen even when my coven was intact. But these rituals are intended as worship to the Master of Nature – the very essence of Chaos. Different people call Him different things, I believe some of you call Him the Sea Devil.”

EVERYONE stared at her in disbelief.

“Yeah, He’s allegedly real. I’ve never seen Him though. It was said that He used to visit these ceremonies in abundance. Approving blessings, giving them out Himself. Engaging with Witches…who He considers His daughters on the Earthly plane.”

She winced when they all kept staring at her incredulously. No matter how comfortable she felt with the Straw Hats, the Kid Pirates, Killer, Kid even – she always felt so fucking…freakish. So different.

“He hasn’t been seen in ages so there is no reason to think this time will be any different. For a single, insignificant Witch,” she dug her nails into her hand. Rowena’s ears pricked up at the sound of Kid getting upset, making his way towards her. No confidence at all, she drained her mug.

“Nevertheless, don’t make any promises or agreements of any kind tonight, or with each other either. Got it?!”

The crew and Killer nodded respectfully before resuming their activities, more warily than before. Rowena turned and grabbed another cup of her brew before Kid’s hand grabbed her wrist and forced her to drop the mug.

“Does the same apply to you?” he asked gruffly.

“I should take my own advice, yes,” she bit her tongue.

“Will you?”

She was almost afraid to meet his glare. She did and it was intense, his eyes shimmering in the reflection of the fire, making them almost look like they were fire.

Rowena gulped, “I’m just supposed to accept His grace if He gives it.”

“Why?”

“To show I’m devoted to my own power and survival. The survival of His line.”

“What would happen if you didn’t?”

Rowena scoffed at him, “I don’t know! No ones done it before and I don’t think it’d be wise to start NOW, Kid.” His grip on her wrist tightened. “Whatever you think is going to happen during this, get it out of your head right now. You told me to not hold myself back and that you’d help me be my best self.”

Kid regarded her coolly before sharply nodding, releasing his grip, and taking a step back.

“I did. Fine. Do your ritual and I swear on everything that—”

“No! Don’t make any swears, promises, nothing tonight! I just said that!”

“BUT!”

“NO!”

“FINE!” He angrily swore. “Then tomorrow morning then. And don’t you interrupt me then or I’ll kick your ass.”

Rowena tiredly nodded. So jealous.

Kid ducked his head and kissed her, licking her lips and nipping her flesh before kneeling to grab her fallen rose gold cup. He ladled himself a cup of brew and finished it in one sitting.

“Tastes terrible.”

“Oh I know it.”

Rowena pulled back from the music transponder snail as it began to play her requested songs. The electro pop tune and synth overtones was a popular song heard across the seas, a song the Kid Pirates were familiar with. Rowena walked towards the raging bonfire as the enchanting melody flowed, and she began dancing. She nodded her head and swung her hips to the beat, her eyes closed as she let go of her inhibitions in front of the others. She didn’t see the crew sprinkle in to join and dance alongside her at first. Feeling their energy buzzing with her own, hearing them sing along to the song, she cracked a smile before opening her eyes in delight. Joining them in singing the chorus as they drunkenly laughed and partied.

Kid sat on a bench, watching everyone else dance as he drank mead with a smirk on his face with his eyes transfixed on Rowena as she transitioned from anxiously awkward to freely happy. Seeing her hair whip in the air as she danced, bopping her head with a smile on her face. It made his own wretched heart feel lighter.

He figured the potion brew had finally taken effect during the next song. Rowena was tapping her heel to the drum as the lyrics queued up and he swore her entire being was enshrouded with a glowing aura that trailed after her as she swayed. As the chorus peaked she began to skip and twirl, the glowing aura raced after her, moving both in slow motion and much too fast, creating rainbow-like streaks that chased her. His neck twisted as he continued observing her and he couldn’t help but feel that she seemed so right that way. She’d never looked so magical before.

Kid wondered if the others could see what he was seeing.

He briefly hoped they couldn’t, feeling the scene was only right for his viewing.

The outro started playing and she was buzzing, light refracting off her like a firecracker as the thrum of the rock guitar sped up and she kicked her feet keeping up with the music. She looked so perfect.

‘Hmmm. Keeping thinking like that Boy, and you may yet be worthy of her,’ a low, sibilant voice rasped in Kid’s ear.

A chill fell down Kid’s spine as he turned his head and came to face to face…with himself.

Only it wasn’t quite him. This version of him had creepy eyes. An extra halo around the blood red irises. It’s posture and demeanor held a certain madness that Kid only wished he possessed. And he was already a psychotic fucking bastard!

Kid’s eyes sought out Killer to see if he noticed the mysterious figure, and saw that Killer was dancing between Rowena and Quincy, very much not paying him any attention. Kid was on his own.

‘Yes but it wouldn’t be the first time, would it? Orphan…’

Kid glared at the mirrored version of himself, “What is this?”

‘You mean you don’t recognize yourself? I am you. Your chaotic nature.’

Kid’s shaved brow raised as a weird and intense pulsing agitated his stomach. “I am chaotic, so who the fuck are you?”

The mirrored version laughed, grabbing a glass of mead for itself but not drinking it.

‘You ate one of my fruits. Always claiming things for yourself that you’re not worthy of hmm?’

“I paid a price for the fucking fruit.”

‘And what price did you pay for my Witch?’ it hissed.

“None, I don’t claim her. I chose her and she chose me back. Loophole – in your face.”

The mirrored Eustass Kid blinked, not expecting that response. Then it gave a sharp tooth filled grin.

‘You are an interesting one Eustass Kid, Son of Captain John. His soul is in hell if you cared to know.’

“I don’t.”

‘Not even if I told you he’s apologetic?’

“He’s dead yeah? His words and feelings should stay dead too.”

‘Your spirit is very much your mother’s,’ mirrored Kid let out a hoarse whisper. Kid felt his heart drop to his ass. ‘She’s in the other place, the nicer one…’

“…Thanks,” Kid wanted an antacid so fucking badly.

‘As I was saying. Your entire existence was enveloped in violence, poverty, and anger. You turned it to power and ambition. And your rage!! It’s delicious. And yet, not one demon can permeate you. It’s really such a miracle. A perfect vessel like you would do wonders but you’re simply put…unbreakable. Your sheer will is a force. A joy. I want it,’ mirrored Kid growled.

‘If you were to…bend the knee to me…I could provide you with a clear channel of raw power that you could ever hope to obtain. It would guarantee your crews’ survival with the…trials you’ll be facing. I could extend that security to her as well,’ it hissed almost sweetly.

Kid eyed the mirrored devil in shock, considering the words spoken to his mind while he sat alone on the bench while the party went on.

Another electro pop rock song played through the snail and Rowena threw her hands in the air, lazily waving them as she let her mind float as the lyrics rolled as easily as the wind in her hair. Her glassy eyes watched through half closed lids at the scene before her. The Kid Pirates celebrating her culture, dancing with her.

She could see Kid hunched over himself in worry. She could see a dark aura hovering near him.

Rowena straightened up and began to run. Her arms swung as she tried to reach him but she felt like she was running in place as the air around her whipped quickly, flushing her face with harsh snaps.

‘Leaving your own party so soon little Witch?’ a hand gripped her shoulder, digging sharp claws into her skin drawing fresh blood. ‘Best not to interrupt a private conversation.’

Rowena’s head swiveled as she realized a few pirates had dark auras trailing after them.

“No! They’re not offerings!”

‘I know that.’

“Then why??!”

‘It’s my nature.’

Rowena’s head snapped behind her and her sun-tanned face drained of color. She was looking at herself but a much more unsettling version of herself. Her stomach clenched. She knew this face, knew those double halo eyes. She knew this feeling.

‘I just can’t help it. I’m chaos, sue me.’

Alter-Rowena forcefully guided Rowena away from the fire and everyone else. ‘It’s been so long since you’ve reached out to me Rowena. You really hurt my feelings. Don’t you have any love for me anymore? You used to adore me when you were a child. You wanted to marry me, it was so cute.’

Rowena flushed at the memory that flashed through her mind. She was six, wearing a crown of thorns as the others prepared her for the signing. Where she would bloody her thumb to memorialize her vow in the Book of Names. Her devotion to Him. Rowena’s childish mind took the ceremony to be more romanticized like the fairytale stories her sisters would tell her. She thought this would be a marriage ceremony, and she remembered the faces of adoration her Coven made at her when she declared it so.

“I-I couldn’t. There was a massacre and I was enslaved for years. I couldn’t do anything like this! It is by the miracle of pirates that I have been freed and able to use my magic once more. To honor You again.”

It tsked at her. ‘I’m aware. You didn’t have to wait until the Yule to reach out. You could have done a rebirth ritual. A cleansing ritual. Either of those would have reached Me. Guess I’m feeling so starved of worship. What will you do to rebuild the Coven?’

“I was…afraid. That if I only found silence I would have felt abandoned by You too and been truly alone. I do not know. I am only just relearning my craft and pushing myself to be at the appropriate level of a Witch my age.”

Alter-Rowena gave her an irritated look, ‘I will never understand why your Coven decided to stop The Rite once you began your first menstrual cycle. It was a year of experimentation and training, and it ALWAYS yielded excellent results. You have pathetic influence over Fire and you don’t have a familiar! Do you even fly?’

“I suspect it had to do with our dwindling numbers and low mortality rate outside our island. I do not,” Rowena answered through grit teeth. The idea of forming a pact of servitude with a demon hidden in the flesh of an animal did not fill her with any comfort. It made her feel gross even before experiencing enslavement herself.

‘Tch. Ever since the War of the Witches you silly girls were scared beyond any common sense. Diluted your line by isolating yourselves from the world. Disallowing the participation of males even!’

Rowena tilted her head at that, “What War of the Witches? I’ve not been told this history.”

Alter-Rowena matched her tilt with a bewildered look. ‘The war that happened 870 years ago, of course.’

The longest awkward pause settled over them before Rowena keeled over and threw up.

Fucking brew.

Alter-Rowena pulled Rowena back by the hair and Rowena flipped backwards, falling to the ground. Her back did not meet the Earth, instead her body began to levitate in the air. Sharp claws dragged along her back tattoo as Alter-Rowena began to walk with Rowena hovering over her like a balloon.

‘I think a family meeting is in order. Use the Cornu Ignus and follow the Amaru to the Spirit World. Do not forget your first duty before your…career…in piracy is to Me. To the Natural Chaos that makes this stupid little world spin. I made you and every Witch before you to lay out My influence in the world. For every tip in the scale, Witches have been there to righten it and advance My agency. Do not fail Me, child.’

Alter-Rowena threw Rowena across the sky to the edge of the bonfire. Rowena landed and stumbled, squealing as she jumped back from the flames licking at her face.

‘You are a Witch, you should not fear Fire you should merge with it! Stick your hand in the flames and pull out a wisp.’

Rowena hesitated.

‘Do. Not. Fear. It. It is life just as much as it is death.’

Rowena shakily reached for the fire, took a deep breath, and put all her faith in the Sea Devil’s words. You are me and I am you, we are one and the same, she chanted to herself and at the fire for confidence.

With a steely gaze, Rowena thrust her hand into the blazing heat and was shocked when she didn’t feel her hand burn to a crisp. The temperature surrounding her hand climbed significantly but it did not harm her any worse than a bright sunny day on the deck of the Victoria Punk did. Just as quickly Rowena yanked her hand out and there in her hand sat a sizable flame, pulsing excitedly, matching Rowena’s own excitement.

‘Gooooooooooooood,’ Alter-Rowena purred. ‘Now. Eat it.’

“HUUHHH?!”

‘You rely on outside sources too much instead of mastering the elements. You need to imbed them into your being if you ever hope to use them more efficiently. Think of how easy it is to master air once you begin using the air in your own lungs. Did you know when you’re channeling your water magic you’re working the blood and water stored in your own body first?’

Rowena nodded her head.

‘Then eat it. All Fire born Witches are exempt from doing this because the sparks are born inside them. All other Witches must earn Fire’s respect to reside in their hearts to use.’

Rowena condensed the flame into a small ball of fire, the size of a gumball. She popped it in her mouth and swallowed. It was like swallowing a spoonful of Killer’s soup right off the stove. She felt an intense wave hit her body that settled over her chest. Like a terrible bout of heartburn. After several minutes it petered out.

‘Now blow a stream.’

Rowena turned to the bonfire and gathered as much air in her lungs as she could. She felt it heat up inside her lungs. She let out a long and flush roar of fire above the bonfire.

The crew began cheering at her with Heat following up with his own stream of fire.

‘Ahhhh look at that. He has a spark of magic, naturally gifted. What an anomaly.’

“He said he ate a pepper.”

‘False, the pepper was a catalyst. The power within him all along. He’s not one of Mine but that’s magic.’

Alter-Rowena began to fade out, coming into focus one last time, ‘I approve of your choice in husband, by the way. You have my blessing for union. Create a new generation of Witches.’ Then He was gone.

Rowena glanced around her and could see the dark aura had disappeared from everyone except Heat and Kid. She started towards the redhead. The dark aura vanished before she reached him.

“Thanks, but I don’t need Your help. I got this far without You.”

‘Tsk, foolish Boy. If you won’t accept My offer than I’ll leave you with My blessing over your coupling. Your children will be endowed with great power and abilities, and that’s even before My Grace comes into play.’

“What do you mean?”

‘You’re committing yourself to a Witch. You will bear Witch offspring. That’s how it works. You’ve not seen the last of Me. I can already feel it, they’ll be the strongest in a new era of Magic.’

Kid had not thought that far ahead when he proposed to Rowena. He knew children were on the table in the distant future but somehow he just forgot that they’d likely have some type of power from their mother passed down. Kid shrugged.

“That may be so but they’ll be mine and hers. Not Yours – not ever.”

His mirrored version glared at Kid before it faded and vanished. Rowena took the seat his mirrored version had occupied.

“Hey how are you doing?”

“Got a bit of heartburn. You too I gather from that flame you shot out! My little dragon,” he pulled Rowena into his lap.

She giggled before turning serious, “I thought I sensed something over here with you.”

“Nope, just me and my addled thoughts. This brew is fucking me up though.”

“I’m sorry! Let’s eat to soak it up and sleep it off.”

The rest of the night faded into obscurity as exhaustion took hold of the couple.

When they woke in the morning, curled on the ground and only covered by Kid’s fur coat, they took note that not one pirate made it back to the ship. Everyone was passed out on the ground. Some were even cuddling together. Killer’s hair was tangled up in Heat’s blue locs as the two spooned each other. Wire only a few feet from them and holding himself tightly as he snored. His signature cape was gone, found a few feet away where a few of the women crew members used it as a blanket.

Kid tightened his hold on Rowena, turning his tired amber eyes to her lavender ones.

“Like I was saying last night. I swear on everything I hold dear, that if that Fuck tries to make you do anything that makes you uncomfortable, I’ll rip His damn tail off and shove it down His throat.”

Rowena smiled at Kid and nuzzled into his embrace. “We’re good on that front.” She stilled for a moment before daring to ask, “Were you…visited by anything last night?”

Kid regarded her calmly before sighing, “Nope, pretty boring on my end. The brew fucked me up though, never drinking that shit again.”

They laughed quietly together while the crew lightly stirred as the sunrise began to break through the cloudy, overcast sky.

“Told you it wasn’t meant to be taken lightly.”

“I ain’t a bitch!”

“Hmm, no you’re not. You’re anything but, Eustass Kid.”

Kid leaned down to kiss her, nosing her cheek before softly whispering, “That’s fucking right, honey.”

[nexility-sims]

What was your initial inspiration for your story? What idea came first, the plot or the characters?

ahh, what a great and slightly complicated question ! i’ve addressed the basic “how did the story come to be” question a few times in bits and pieces, particularly this answer about sources of inspiration, but the gist is:

the direct inspiration was alyssa’s story (@thegrimalldis). hers is how i learned “royal simblr” was a thing. i was intrigued by the tropes that accompany most royal stories, by the big events friends did together, by the collaborative storytelling possibilities. i've always been scornful of irl modern royalty, tbh, although the history is more interesting. i'm trained in "history from below," so i don't spend much time at all thinking about kings and queens and rich elites during work hours. why not do it with a hobby, i reckon ! in this general sense, the plot came first, and was a basic starter premise of “what if the right/wrong person married into the wrong/right family.”

however, the characters—some of them—were very much preexisting. i’ve been playing with the same family, the bancrofts, since … winter 2016 or something like that. the key to longevity, for me, had been incorporating new ideas or fascinations into my legacy gameplay. obviously, if i wanted to do a royal story, then it would have to be connected somehow ! i refashioned rowena a little bit, since i’d played with a story involving her in the past, and decided she’d make a perfectly scandalous imported princess. therefore, rowena existed first.

i think it's fair to say that royal simblr is mostly white and euro/anglo-inspired, in terms of the characters and the cultures depicted, so i wanted to go in a different direction. i created the reyes family once i had the story idea, and they ended up being shaped by courses i was taking at the time and curiosities living rent-free in my mind. it's hard to escape the influences of colonialism even in fiction, but the kernel at the heart of my worldbuilding is meant to be a rejection of settler colonialism first and foremost. so, the plot and characters have become intertwined with that creative interest—imagining an otherwise, another version of the past, if you will, to be cheesy. apparently, one thing about me is that i love doing research for work and also for fun fkjdlgjfksg

[castielmacleod]

The Crowley and Amara thing as it was in canon was very much a complete disaster but part of the reason I so strongly prefer Amara as Crowley’s kid conceptually over him having anything to do with Gavin is because I really prefer the idea of Crowley choosing to be a parent on his own terms because he wants to have a relationship like that, and not out of any sort of forced obligation.

[abybweisse]

If this is too much ignore this, but just who do you think betrayed Undertaker and why? (Referring back to that phrase he said on the Campania) Personally think it could have been Claudia especially if Undertaker was disappointed by her dedication to the Queen as the Watch Dog. Being a Phantomhive woman and probably proud of inheriting her family legacy she probably wouldn't appreciate his attitude to Victoria. Maybe she found out what he was maybe both? If the parallel to Ivanhoe hold true (would be neat to see Yana's twist on this) he was likely betrayed as a human too? Then we all know he clearly didn't like something that the Reaper higher-ups were doing...

Who betrayed Undertaker?

That's one of those million dollar questions. Because it seems pretty likely someone (and/or an entire institution) did.

Here are some scenarios for different possibilities:

If he was betrayed as a human, it might have been someone he loved, or it might have been someone in a position of authority. I say this because those are the most-likely scenarios now, as a reaper, and I have a sneaking suspicion that most reapers deal with similar situations to the ones they dealt with as humans, and part of their punishment is not being able to end their own suffering so easily. I imagine that a reaper who takes their own life (by death scythe or something) will wind up as reapers again. Sascha is the only one I've seen who seems to think being a reaper is their "calling". Ludger hears that and thinks it's a ludicrous idea.

As a reaper, he might have been betrayed by Cloudia/Claudia, as you say. Maybe because of her loyalty to the queen? Or perhaps she got pregnant and didn't even tell him? Or... maybe she got pregnant and said she would keep her children from following in her footsteps (as watchdog, etc), but then he found out she was training them to take over for her, just as she had taken over for her own father.

Similarly, he might have felt betrayed by Vincent at some point, which would be the biggest parallel to Ivanhoe. His loyalty to the queen would be the closest parallel. His choice of Rachel for a wife would be another parallel, since Wilfred of Ivanhoe wanted to marry Rowena, and Cedric initially forbade it. Previously I'd mentioned the possibility that Vincent and Undertaker had an argument and Undertaker went away, and while Undertaker was away, the attack happened. It would help explain why it took a while for word to reach him or for him to get to the crime scene.

The last main scenario I can think of is, of course, where the reaper organization lies to reapers about their punishment -- that chance of salvation -- and undertaker finds out.

Oh! ETA: and, as I've also mentioned before, the entire purpose of collecting souls could have a lie in it... or an omission of some very important fact. Is it entertainment... an experiment... a food source for angels and/or the god of their world?

Truth is, Undertaker might feel betrayed in multiple ways by multiple people.

[charcubed]

Let's talk about Supernatural 15x07, "Last Call."

Or as I like to call it, "the episode that makes me go feral because it tells us so much about Dean's sexuality, character, and arc." 

YES others have written meta! YES I will talk about it myself for the satisfaction! I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

This post was originally a thread on Twitter and I am crossposting it to my blog.

Alt image IDs are included in that linked Twitter thread!

Join me on this journey.

What's the context of this episode? Dean's been kind of down/depressed, feeling hopeless in the face of the idea that they have to defeat God (and not really working towards that goal much), and he's mid-divorce with Cas. He goes out on this solo case to try to clear his head.

And he ends up at Swayze's Bar. 

 Look, there are many things to be said about this. Dean loves Patrick Swayze. Arguably has a CRUSH on Swayze. It's very tied up in Dean pretending not to like "chick flicks" but he secretly does, which is queer coding. This was a Choice™️.

Speaking of Choices™️: professional actors made many here. Deliberately. 

 Dean is smacked on the ass by a woman and then Lee smacks him on the ass too. Dean and Lee CONSTANTLY have physical familiarity and fond eye contact. I will limit myself to 1 paragraph about this lest I list it all.

My point is that I just really need every person to digest and accept the fact that this is textually bi Dean. Not subtext; it's TEXT. 

Dean and Lee had a relationship. Their history is alluded to in touch and in words. They had an orgy together. Dean's bisexuality is not repressed.

It's also now canon that Dean tries to hide that he can sing well. Most people don't know (like Sam) but some do (Lee). Hence "Eye of the Tiger" callback.

And so: that's also the implication for his sexuality. Dean singing ON STAGE with bi lighting is him being ready to be Out.

They dedicated an entire half an ep at minimum to emphasizing he's bi... and to Dean having a conversation with someone he (initially) trusts about potentially having a break from hunting, and what that could mean.

LEE: You're chasing missing persons, huh? I thought you'd be on to something bigger by now, like the Loch Ness Monster... Bigfoot.

DEAN: Trust me, uh, bigger doesn't always equal better. Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy? God certainly isn't.

LEE: Damn, brother, that's dark.

DEAN: Yeah, it's been a rough, uh... it's been a rough decade, Lee.

LEE: Yeah.

DEAN: But that's a conversation for a different time, 'cause this, this right here, this is all right.

LEE: Well, I'm glad you approve. This is nothing you can't have, man.

DEAN: Oh, come on. Who's gonna kill the bad guys?

LEE: Somebody else. Dean, how many lives you think you saved, huh? Hundreds? Thousands? You deserve a break, bro. Hell, you might even deserve two.

"But Lee turns out to be a villain!" some might say. "Isn't the point that giving up hunting is bad?" 

Nope. 

Lee's a DARK MIRROR for Dean. He exists to exhibit the truths behind Dean's desires, and then what they'd look like if they turned bad. Take it from him: "I am you."

There are LAYERS here. You can't focus on the dark side and ignore the truths that take place in the (often bi) light. 

The singing? The conversations about taking a break? Throwing men out of the bar, which is framed heroically? "Road House rules" (another Choice™️)?

NONE of that was bad. It shows what Dean wants. 

Things only get bad–literally and visually–when Dean's tied up as Lee suddenly says wrong things in the dark. 

The contrast exists to show that maintaining Goodness is a choice, and Dean would have no problem upholding that.

LEE: It's called a marid. It's a freaky-looking little thing, isn't it? [Lee laughs, and Dean stares at him, incredulous] Ah. As long as you feed it, it gives you money, it gives you health, everything you dreamed of.

DEAN: And so, what, it just costs innocent lives?

LEE: Dean, you and I both know no one's innocent. After everything we've done, aren't... aren't we owed a little happiness, huh? Don't we deserve that much?

DEAN: Listen to yourself. "We're owed." "We deserve." Come on, man. You're not God. Hell, God's not even God.

LEE: Good or bad... the world doesn't care. No one cares, Dean.

DEAN: Well, I do.

LEE: Yeah. And that's what got you here. Now, takes a while to drain a man, but listen to me. Don't worry about it, all right? Don't worry because once you lose a couple of pints, you just fall asleep, and then it'll be over.

[Lee pats Dean on the shoulder]

DEAN: Lee.

LEE: This... this is not how I wanted this to go, Dean. When that blonde girl walked in here last night, I should've know, you know, Dean Winchester, the righter of wrongs, you were gonna keep digging, and you were gonna figure me out. And if it's got to be you or me, well, I got to pick me, man.

"No one cares, Dean."

"Well, I do."

It's a reminder to himself as much as it is to Lee. It's a re-centering of purpose that he sorely needs.

And what's also key? Lee is human, but is now a "monster" in Dean's words. Because Lee lost his ability to care, Dean can't abide by that.

(Side note: bonus for the fact that Lee dies up against a wall by being impaled and he coughs up blood. You know who doesn’t cough up blood in their very weird and unrealistic death scene? Dean in the finale.)

Remember: Lee is a dark mirror for Dean. "I am you." 

By fighting and (tragically) killing Lee, Dean "kills" the darker side of himself. The side that's struggling to keep going right now... AND the side that fears eventually wanting a break means you must be selfish and stop caring.

He can keep going. He can find strength to fight God–and in the end, take a break and CHOOSE peace. It won't make him dark. He's the most caring man on Earth, even when it's hard. That’s reinforced later. 

Isn't he owed a little happiness? And that's not in the having. It's in just being.

The bonus is what's going on with Cas in this episode. 

Dean's clearing his head and finding his center again while Cas is calling him. 

Come home. I need you. Remember what matters.

And again, contrast: Lee turns out not to be "real/true" in the way Dean thought he was. But Cas IS.

And after Dean goes through all of this... he's grounded again, he recognizes that even amongst questions of what God controls there are still choices to be made, he's reminded that letting his caring heart lead him is priority, he's lost another friend... 

He comes home to Cas.

It's awkward. They're still distanced. 

But this episode is a turning point for Dean. He's not angry at Cas anymore, he wants to talk, he's ready to move forward... he just doesn't know how to yet.

And if you follow the through-line... then you get Rowena saying "fix it"... and then after that is the Purgatory prayer.

I just !!! 

S15 is packed with Dean development to hone in towards the end of his arc, but "Last Call" manages to hit SO many buttons. 

• He's always been bi, & is ready to be Out

• He can want a break–& maybe run a bar like the Roadhouse

• Caring is at the core of who he is

It's about the CHOICE. It's about wanting to live your truths, and that "caring" can mean many things–from defeating God and saving the world, to making the hard choices when it counts, to maybe running a bar where people are safe.

14x10 and its matching Texan Star also say hello:

DEAN: How come you always have a boyfriend?

PAMELA: How come you only want what you can't have?

DEAN: Whoa.

PAMELA: Besides, you don't want me. You just like to flirt. I'm a psychic, so I kinda know.

DEAN: All right.

PAMELA: So, still not ready to sell the bar, huh? It's a lot of money.

DEAN: Sell? This bar? This is my dream.

PAMELA; Yeah.

And I recognize that rereading this info is sad(der) now because of what we got in the end, so uh... sorry. 

But that's half the point: it's repeatedly blatantly clear what we were meant to get, down to deliberate echoes in word choice–caring, happiness, deserve, even Roadhouse.

Dean was meant to choose to take a break, maybe run a bar–whether on Earth or in Heaven. At minimum, if Dean was meant to end up in Heaven, he was meant to choose it with eyes wide open. And the next time the phone rang with Cas' name (15x19), he RAN for him. He was VERY ready.

And the whole season tells you that. This episode is just my favorite.

So... thanks for letting me ramble on about it!!! 

DEAN WINCHESTER: BI ICON, ONCE-LOVER OF LEE WEBB, THE MOST CARING MAN ON EARTH WHO DESERVED TO CHOOSE PEACE AFTER GAINING HIS FREEDOM, & SOULMATE TO AN ANGEL

And a very big thank you to the talented kings Jensen Ackles & Christian Kane, and their longstanding friendship. They gave me many rights with their acting choices. 

Here's an iconic bonus for the road.

[aprilsrant]

Liquid Luck and its wonders | Harry Potter x Ravenclaw!Fem!Reader.

SUMMARY: Harry meets a shy girl from Ravenclaw House. After taking a liking to her, he tries to catch her attention. 

WORD COUNT: 1,693.

WARNINGS: none, I think. 

REQUEST: Hi! Um I'd like to request a Harry Potter x Ravenclaw!reader where she's pretty shy and Harry has a major crush on her so he's always trying to catch her attention in any way he can? Thank you!

A/N: English is not my first language, there could be mistakes here! If you enjoyed this, like, comment or reblog, whatever you want!

This took a little longer than I expected, but I wrote something and didn’t like it so I had to do it all over again and here it is! I love Harry so I’m really happy someone requested a fic for him because he’s so underrated! Hope you enjoy it!

MASTERLIST. / WORK IN PROGRESS.

Gif below is not mine.

The fake Galleon felt heavier than usual in her hands, the date of their last meeting —the fact unknown to any of them— still engraved in it, gleaming from different angles depending on how the sunlight would shine through the large windows. Not a single day would pass without (Y/N) looking at it from time to time, expecting to see the numbers change, waiting for the return of Dumbledore’s Army. 

Once more, reality didn’t reach her wishes. 

A sigh left her mouth while she climbed down from the windowsill and abandoned her dorm, Rowena Ravenclaw’s statue watching her back as the sixth year girl started to walk towards the Great Hall, stomach rumbling and crying out desperately for breakfast. 

She sat down next to Luna Lovegood, her closest friend, and listened to her comments on Nargles, —“mischievous they are”, she said in a dreamy voice whilst buttering her toast—. (Y/N) knew a lot about the creatures that only Luna and her father believed in after years of being by her side, only separating for lessons and to sleep because of her being a year older than the silver haired girl, although you could find (Y/N) in her friend’s dorm more times than you could encounter Hermione Granger in the Library, laying down on the bed and staring at the canopy filled with little stars that would shine whenever Luna touched them with her wand. (Y/N) had done something similar with hers, but with a glowing full moon instead. 

The stars and the moon were never far from each other and neither were them.

Zoning out from her housemates chattering around her, her eyes diverted to the Gryffindor table, quickly finding the remarkable Golden Trio talking to each other. Hermione seemed frustrated, Ron had a delighted expression on his face while the last member had been discussing with the only girl in the group. 

Her heart jumped at the thought of them arguing about whether or not Harry would teach the D.A again, just like last year. But why would Hermione be upset then when she was the one who initiated the whole thing? The realisation that they were discussing other matters saddened her. Unconsciously, her fingers reached for the golden coin inside her rob’s pocket.   

Glancing back at the plate in front of her, (Y/N) missed Harry waving his hand at her, closing his mouth about to greet her when he noticed the Ravenclaw was no longer looking at them. 

Although Harry and (Y/N) were both sixth years and shared many classes, they hadn’t seen each other as much as the first would have liked because of the never ending assignments and most of their free periods spent in the Library. 

On the day of tryouts for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, this changed. The girl and Luna had been relaxing near the Quidditch Pitch, resting on top of the grass while the first one read a book and her friend doodled faces on a notebook (Y/N) had gotten her as a birthday present alongside a new set of charcoal crayons, when a large group of people gather around the Pitch. 

Leaving the book by her side, (Y/N) began to watch just as a first year crashed into one of the goalposts. Her right hand flew quickly to cover her mouth, a loud laugh trying to escape from her throat. But the laugh disappeared and a tight knot took its place upon seeing the amount of girls trying to catch Harry’s attention, and maybe more. 

Luna giggled, her hand still moving around the paper but her bright, blue eyes were flashing with realisation and a funny tingle. 

“You like him, don’t you?,” she asked without needing much of an answer.

(Y/N) shocked her head, eyes moving between Luna and the Quidditch Pitch. To her relief, Harry had, apparently, dismissed the girls and they were now sitting on the stands. 

But nothing could escape Luna, and most certainly not something related directly to her best friend. 

“He fancies you too,” the girl commented casually, like it wasn’t what (Y/N) had yearned to hear since their third year, “you should see how much he stares at you. I was concerned at first, maybe he’d noticed you’ve become infested with Nargles and I hadn’t, but… but then I realised he liked you because I remembered seeing the look on his face.”

“From where?,” (Y/N) questioned softly, still trying to process the fact that Harry Potter liked her. It’s not like she didn’t trust Luna’s judgement —even if people believed she was out of her mind, the girl was surprisingly good for this kind of thing—, but her own insecurities clouded her mind. Did he really fancy her? And if he did, what was so special about her that had captivated Harry’s interest when so many others were throwing themselves at him? 

“My dad had the same expression whenever he looked at my mum.” A small smile grew on her face while (Y/N)’s hand travelled to grab one of Luna’s, the one resting on top of the notebook, and squeezed it lightly and reassuringly. “I can still see it whenever he mentions her.”

After the conversation she had with Luna, (Y/N) started to notice more of Harry’s efforts to talk to her while walking to class; after a particular rough lesson of Defense Against the Dark Arts with Snape; sharing hushed instructions (different to the ones in their book but incredibly helpful) every time he pretended to look for more ingredients and walked right behind her during Potions. 

Their short exchanges turned quickly into long conversations and shared afternoons, both of the teenagers trying to forget, maybe even ignore for a little amount of time, how dark and obscure was the Wizarding World becoming. 

Harry didn’t confess his feelings, —those increasing each time she smiled, or laughed, or gazed at him while rays of sunshine illuminated her skin, making her look even more endearing than usual—, until one particular afternoon.

After succeeding on his mission, —to retrieve an important memory concerning Voldemort from Professor Slughorn that he had altered—, something coming from the interior of his body, or mind, he didn’t know, screaming at him to go to the kitchens. Logically, if a potion that induces luck to the drinker tells you to walk towards a particular destination, then that’s exactly what you do.

The boy wasn’t sure about what could possibly be waiting for him in the kitchens, but after seeing her sitting in one of the large tables across the room, coincidentally the replica of the one she’s used to have breakfast and dinner, he knew the reason the potion had wanted him there. 

He took a seat next to her before greeting the house-elves, who were already bringing him trays full of pastries, and struggled to shake the dizziness out of his head —Harry couldn’t figure out if it came from the potion running off, the excitement of finally achieving the memory that would take him one step further to understand Voldemort and his plan, or the nerves that’d always attacked him whenever (Y/N) was near—.

“Hi, Harry,” she murmured softly without looking him in the eyes and grabbing a cookie from the plate in front of her, “what brings you here?”

What brought him to the kitchens and face the girl he had a crush on? Felix Felicis, of course. For what had the potion made him go there? He didn’t want to admit it, Harry didn’t want to confess the urge he had to kiss her whenever she would laugh at one of his jokes, even when they were terrible; he didn’t want to talk about how much he cared for her and how that was the exact same reason why he had taken so long to, first, accept his feelings and to even think about telling her about them. (Y/N) didn’t deserve to be thrown into a war he wasn’t sure he could win. And he didn’t deserve her. She would have to find another person to tease, to laugh with, to confide her problems and desires. 

However, the potion hadn’t left his system yet, not entirely at least and enough to make a difference in (Y/N) and Harry’s friendship.

“I-I think I have feelings for you,” the words escaping his mouth before he could stop them, “and they are kind of weird because every time you walk in, or you are close to me, like right now, I don’t know how to act around you.”

No reaction came out of her, not even a slap, which he was kind of preparing for. (Y/N) stood motionless beside him, with the half of her cookie still in her hand, rests of chocolate and crumbs around her mouth.

“I’m sorry if I ruined our friendship, but I just,” he said before releasing a shaky breath,” I needed to tell you that I fancy you and that you are absolutely amazing.” 

Swallowing and licking her lips, missing for a few inches the bit of chocolate scattered on them, (Y/N) shifted her position. Her chest was now facing Harry completely, her left leg below her body, giving the impression that she was taller than him, while the other one supported her weight. One of the girl’s hands had barely touched Harry’s jaw when she kissed the corner of his mouth.

“What took you so long?”

Harry could no longer see the chocolate and the crumbs, instead, he was capable of tasting them the second their lips met, hesitant at first but more confident the second time they did. 

Whispers coming from the house-elves, —who had stopped, for once, doing their work and were now staring at them, many with tears in their big eyes—, made (Y/N) and Harry to separate from each other, even if it was the last thing they wanted.

“Maybe we should leave,” the Ravenclaw suggested softly in his ear. 

Nodding eagerly, Harry took her hand and they both walked out of the kitchens, a grin on each of their faces.

general taglist: @gcdric @lilac-wrists 

If you want to be add to the general taglist or to the taglist for a specific character, let me know!

[clockworknightmares]

The Gift

I’ve had the ideas of this fumbling around in my drafts for a long time now and I finally finished it. I’m glad I waited thought because I had time to think long and hard about the way in which Rowena acquired Dray and what that might look like. This is from Vys’ POV, however I might write Dray’s POV at some point too.

Tw for “it” as pronouns, dehumanization, slavery, blood, muzzles, drugged whumpee (only briefly mentioned).

“That one.”

Vysthrain’s gaze follows to where Rowena’s finger is pointing. “That one? You can’t be serious, your Majesty. That one is- looks unremarkable. If- if I may be so bold.” He catches himself at the last moment. It never bodes well to contradict the Empress. He glances at her, gauging her reaction to his blunder. However- his opinion stands. The bloodied… boy in the arena below looks one more hit away from his demise. 

Rowena laughs, a melodic sound with an edge that sends a shiver curling down Vys’ spine. She doesn’t seem bothered at his difference of opinion. “Ostra Ailmer doesn’t know what he has.”

“But you do.” It’s a statement, not a question. He can see the cogs in her head turning, that slight twitch of her lips when she’s thinking. More like scheming, his brain provides unhelpfully. 

“That I do.” She keeps her eyes trained on the man in the arena as he runs his opponent through with the short spear he wields in his hand. It’s clearly not his weapon of choice, but he’s making it work. “You see, that is a half dragon.”

Vys snorts and plucks a grape from the bunch on the table next to them. Her majesty seems to be in a light mood, a mood in which he is allowed to converse freely. Within reason. “A half dragon. I think you have had one too many glasses, your Majesty. Everyone knows there’s no such thing as male halfbreed dragons.” He pops the firm grape into his mouth and rolls it around on his tongue. “Besides, if there was, surely they would be more… impressing.” He keeps his eyes on her and away from the blood splattered sand below. 

“And that’s where you’re wrong.” Rowena sits back and smiles to herself. “You see, it’s not that there’s no such thing, it’s that they’re incredibly rare, almost unheard of and Ostra Ailmer doesn’t know just how valuable that possession is.” Her eyes narrow as she turns her attention to watching again, fingers steepled in the way she does when she’s thinking. Vys recognizes the look as that dark shimmering greed of hers. He’s seen it a few times- and knows if it’s something she truly desires, nothing will stop her until it’s in her possession. 

“And you’re going to get it, how exactly? Whether he knows what he has or not, Ailmer won’t give up a winning fighter easily.” Because- despite all odds, they were currently naming the object of Rowena’s attention the winner.

She leans over and pats his cheek like he’s a child asking a silly question. “Vys dear, when have I ever not found a way to get what I want?” It’s a rhetorical question. One that doesn’t even warrant an answer. He knows very well she has her ways. Even as Empress she can not simply demand what she wants, but there are ways.

“Sounds like you are already coming up with a wonderful plan, your Majesty.” He leans into her touch, as he knows she likes and gives her an easy smile. The heat of the day is not so unbearable to him in this moment. “Is there anything I may do to assist you in it?” If she becomes infatuated with some new object, will he be forgotten? He will never let that happen.

“Perhaps”, she says, idly watching the guards half guide, half drag the winner out of the arena. “However there might be no need for any form of coercion.” She gives him another smile. He knows all her smiles by now. This one is self satisfaction, security in her own plans, and just a hint of mirth. “My birthday will be arriving soon. And with it- gifts.”

…

There are such practices in court, that on the ruling monarch’s day of birth, they host many grand parties leading up to the day. These days are important as they allow the mingling of many Ostri and other important personages, officials and relatives, ambassadors and priestesses. It is the time to make important connections, vie for favors and with the right maneuvering, raise your position in court and the eyes of the Empress. A very difficult thing to do indeed.

It is one of the busiest times of Vys’ year, being both companion and spy for the Empress. Her eyes and ears in court, as she must keep herself from mingling too much. He knows Rowena keeps him to herself, not only because he owes her his life, his very existence, but also because he is invisible and they both know it. He is fae, lesser. And therefore apparently- deaf and blind. 

The festivities begin several weeks before the actual day, plenty of time for Vys to worm his way into many circles, sometimes through rather unpleasant means. But if it solidifies his usefulness, his position in Rowena’s eyes- He will give all he has. He may not have need to coerce Ailmer into giving up this new arena rat, but the Ostra might need a nudge in the right direction.

The first time he makes contact with Ostra Ailmer is at a social gathering of the more relaxed nature and the man in question- appearing to have had one too many of the overflowing cups of wine, was in the perfect condition for Vys to begin his plan. The air is warm and thick, cloying in only the way that incense and perfumes bring in small spaces. Vys was more than happy to keep the Ostra’s cup full, hang on his arm, whisper the seeds of Rowena’s desire into this man’s ear. 

“The Empress is very fond of the sport”, he says silkily, gliding his fingers along the man’s arm. 

“Indeed, so they say”, the Ostra replies, twisting the sheer fabric of Vys’ shirt around his fingers. They are pressed close in some low, overstuffed seat, no other ears around.

“I have heard such wonderful things about your champions though. Some say a stock even to rival hers.” The flattery was working, Vys can tell. This man, wrapped up so much in his own self importance, wouldn’t notice a trap until it was too late for him.

“But of course. My lot is the best in all of Athyx Cyreos. I import you know. Better than pulling from the same pools that seem to go around here.”

“Have you ever found anything...extraordinary in your imports?” Vys knows he has to be careful in his words, Ostra Ailmer must never know what he has.

“I do believe I’ve found a champion, a survivor. Not much to look at of course, I did not think it would make it past initial training, but it has done surprisingly well for itself. That is- hasn’t died on me yet.” He laughs, an ear grating thing, and somehow Vys finds it difficult to laugh along with him.

“You know, I have heard some gossip about what the queen desires for her gifts this year, you seem like the type of man that would do well in her court, one I would enjoy seeing around more often.” Vys trails his long fingers down the row of tiny buttons that make up the front of the Ostra’s tunic.

That gets the man’s attention. Vysthrain, however not known to be the Empress' ear, is certainly known as a permanent fixture of the court and Her Majesty’s upper circles. He has access most Ostri can only ever dream of. The gossip of the upper circles is as close to facts as he will ever get. And the gift presented to the Empress has a direct effect on the status and placement you can hope to achieve that year. A gift well received means favors and power. A gift ill-suited to her Majesty’s desires can bring shame and loss of influence.

“You say the Empress might have desire for some of my imports?” Ailmer says, sitting up and glancing around to see if any stray eyes and ears are on them. There are none, save those soaking in his every reaction to take straight back to Rowena. “Tell me fae, what you know of this.”

“Well, you never heard it from me”, Vys says, pulling the Ostra back down to be seated. “But she does have an eye for the unique. Something… different from what others have. She is our Empress after all.” How many more hints must he drop before this man gets it through his wine-addled head? Then again, Rowena had said that Ostra Ailmer did not know what he had. 

“She wants a strong champion, one to win for her?” Ailmer asks, missing the point entirely.

“No-” he starts, nearly frustrated but stops. He’s better than this. “No, I have heard the Empress desires it to be nothing, so that she may turn it into something” He recalls the image of the bloodstained boy in the arena. It had won, but barely. There was certainly nothing there, but that was the appeal for Rowena. She likes to rub her victories into her opponents faces.

“I- I will take this information into account. It has been… most helpful.”

Vys gave a lazy grin and stroked the line of the Ostra’s jaw.  “I am most pleased to be of assistance to you. In any way that I can.”

…

With the Empress’ desire secured, or at least he prays it is, Vys leans back into his job of attending every gathering, rooting out every gossip, avoiding those few people he knows better than to tangle with. The day of Rowena’s birth arrives, and with it, the gifts and delicacies and flatteries that never seem to cease. He can tell that she soaks it all in, but with a scrutiny in her eye that he knows sees through the genuine devotion and the false praise. Vys knows most of it is fake, simply a vie for attention and power. But so must it be, it is their way.

She has become fixated in these weeks, wondering more often than not if she can simply buy the thing she wants. But Vys reassures her that letting this be gifted could lead to an established connection with the Ostra and his imports and also the ability to show him up, simply giving away something so valuable (according to Rowena). Vys knows not of dragons and their worth, but it does seem to be a point of fascination with Her Majesty.

So it is of no surprise to him when she awaits this moment with a form of anticipation, not shown on her face, but in the way she sits up straighter, leans forward slightly, jeweled claws tapping slightly on the arm of her throne. She is raised a good deal above the court, stairs to a platform where her council and inner circle have their places, then still more stairs to her. The Ostri are allowed to ascend to the first platform to present their gifts.

Vys lingers there, keeping an eye on them, watching and mentally recording their gifts. The Empress allows him at her side, near the throne to be at her call, so he often moves between, catching a whisper from her in his ear, making (slightly) judgmental comments about persons of the court. He has not succeeded in making her laugh on her throne, but wonders what would happen if he did. She would either find it extremely amusing or highly punishable. He fears the latter, so he keeps his tone even, with the dry humor he knows she is fond of.

There are many people in court today, many gifts being presented. But Vys knows that Rowena waits for only one. When Ostra Ailmer approaches, she straightens ever so slightly and pulls on her look of disinterest.  

Vys tunes out most of the scraping and bowing and presenting, instead peering around for the thing that Rowena continues to fixate on. His heart begins to beat quicker when he doesn’t see it. If Rowena doesn't get it today, she is going to be most displeased. Particularly with him.

“And what have you brought for me today, Ostra Ailmer”, he hears Rowena say, clear and strong. She knows how to project her voice if nothing else. 

“Your Majesty, I know you hold a great love of sport and pride yourself in having only the best in the arena. Your choices are always unique and with great might. I myself am in the humble occupation of procuring such items. Yet it has come to my attention that you wish for something to craft yourself, mould to your desires. And I hope that on this day, I can present you with such a thing.”

Vys finds himself holding his breath. If what Ailmer procured is not-

The two guards that flank the Ostra part and Vys realizes why he hadn’t been able to see it, dwarfed by Ailmer’s guards of imposing size. Vys looks it over, and feels Rowena next to him doing the same. It was a rather dismal-looking individual with two short horns curling from a shaved head, hands chained in front connected to a thick collar around its neck, a muzzle strapped tightly against its face, clothed only from the waist down. They have it shackled at the ankles, barefoot. Ailmer obviously had tried to clean it up, but the traces of freshly healed wounds are still evident across its body. It keeps its head low, its eyes on the ground. Ailmer has been able to train it that much at least. 

The light catches in a glint on something at its chest, and Vys tries to get a closer look before realizing the room has fallen into silence and Ostra Ailmer has paled to the point of looking a rather sickly grey. 

It has been several long moments and Rowena has still not given an indication on whether or not the gift was worthy. She too- as Vys has been- is studying the thing before her, lost in thought. It made sense to Vys, of course. They had been discussing this moment for weeks now, but he realized to the rest of the court and especially to Ostra Ailmer in hindsight, this appeared to be a very poor excuse for a gift. It was a single worthless looking thing. It was not as if Ailmer was offering the Empress his best champion. No. This was some untrained waif that he had drug up from who knows where.

“Y-your your Majesty, I-” Ostra Ailmer begins, quaking in his boots, and cuts himself off sharply with an undignified squeak as Rowena stands from her throne. 

A sickening hush fell across the entire court. Even Vys, who knew that this was the gift Rowena desired, felt his breath catch in his throat. She never stood. She never walked down the steps. 

Ailmer and his guards bow low, dropping to their knees and not daring to look up at her face. Her inner circle even bows their heads, backing away to give her space as she descends. Only Vys watches as she comes to the bottom of the stairs, in front of the thing in chains who is neither bowing, nor trying to move away from her. Vys thinks he hears Ailmer whimper. 

Rowena’s dress pools at her feet, many lengths of dark red fabric like a waterfall of blood behind her.

A single gold clawed fingertip reaches out and catches underneath the thing’s muzzle, tipping it’s face up to meet her gaze. It’s eyes lock to hers, blue against gold, unblinking. 

Vys isn't sure how long they stay that way, the oppressive silence across the vast room, the shivering Ostra at the Empress’ feet before she tugs the gift a step forward by the chain connected to the collar and cuffs. 

“Ostra Ailmer”, she says, voice ringing loudly. Vys’ ears burn from the noise after so much deafening quiet. “Your gift is accepted.”

A general murmur comes over the entire court, first nervous tittering, then a few polite claps, then the court quickly recovers, returning to the claps and cheers of normal. 

Ostra Ailmer looks as if his ghost has already taken leave of his body and ascended to the Mother. 

“T-thank you your Majesty”, he whispers, not quite all there as his guards help him down the stairs. Vys has to try and not smile at the sight. The man will recover with time and most likely prosper well from this happenstance, but he will never forget this moment where he believed himself to be seconds from seeing his ancestors.

Vys watches one of the Empress’ personal guards approach as if to remove her new gift further behind scenes, but she waves them away with a subtle flick of her wrist, and ascends the stairs to her throne, chained gift in tow, stopping only once again seated as if nothing had happened.

Vys shoots a look across her to where she’s pushed it down next to her throne on the opposite side, golden claws slowly scraping across its shorn scalp. He meets its eyes for a moment, a cloudy blue, not quite there look. He recognizes the cloudiness. Ailmer must have had it drugged before bringing it into a room full of high profile individuals. Smart. 

The look doesn't last long, as it turns its gaze and head downward. But there had been something in those eyes that didn’t settle him. A slight shudder rippled through his shoulders and he returned his attention to the remainder of the presentation.

Rowena had another smile on her face, one that he knew very well to be only one thing.

Victory.

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!

It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)

With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.

I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)

Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!

The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.

I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.

Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out. 

This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.

I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.

Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.

This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.

We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.

What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.

Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.

A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.

Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett  (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).

[mobagehelllocal]

In your opinion, which hogwarts houses would the Twisted wonderland characters get sorted into?

A/N: What would you do if I said I didn’t watch No. I’m just kidding. I’ve watched Harry Potter. Obsessed over it for quite awhile too! I did have to sleep on this to really think about it. But I think I’m ready!

-

"You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart Their daring, nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart...” 

Ace Trappola - Ace is actually one character who could have gone to any of the four houses. He could be in Hufflepuff (he’s loyal to his friends), Slytherin (he has the cunning for it)--or in Ravenclaw (he has the wits to match). However, he chooses Gryffindor because it’s the coolest house. While he does have the “daring and nerve” for the house, I feel like the Sorting Hat would’ve tried to put him in Slytherin--at which point Ace would refuse. Another reason is because Ace was the first person who actively questioned Riddle’s control. 

Deuce Spade - Another house I considered for Deuce was Hufflepuff--because of his loyalty to his friends and his devotion to his mother (the way he wants to make it up to her at the very least). I decided on Gryffindor at the end because I felt that--at his core, Deuce is a very brave guy because he’s always willing to stick up for his friends and take on their troubles too--especially during the Heartslabyul chapter when Deuce was willing to fight Riddle with Ace. 

Jack Howl - Another guy that I considered for Hufflepuff--especially considering that Jack wants to win justly. At the end, I felt like he suited Gryffindor more. I think this not because it just suits Jack’s image more, but also because he isn’t afraid to fight for what he believes in--he’ll dare fight Leona, Ruggie and most of Savannaclaw for it. We see this in the manga and in Leona’s SSR Dorm Uniform, when Jack is often that odd guy in Savannaclaw for sticking to his morals above all else. 

Epel Felmier - The Sorting Hat would have barely gotten a word in before Epel insists that he wants to be in Gryffindor. To Epel, Gryffindor is (also) the coolest house. He thinks if there’s a place where people would learn to respect him for his abilities versus his looks--then he thinks Gryffindor is the best place for him. Either way, I think the Sorting Hat would’ve been planning to put him in there anyways. 

Silver - The primary reason I put Silver in Gryffindor is because of his position as a Knight of Malleus and how seriously he takes this. I didn’t really consider any other house for Silver honestly. He doesn’t have the same level of loyalty as Sebek (I think), but he does uphold chivalry and all those knightly values. So in my eyes, that’s what made Silver suit Gryffindor the most. 

“You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffs are true, and unafraid of toil...” 

Trey Clover - I think this was a pretty obvious choice for Trey. He stood by Riddle’s side and didn’t question his tyranny because of his loyalty. He’s also genuinely kind.I can see him as a senior that people from across all houses would respect and seek out for help. I did consider Trey briefly for Slytherin, but honestly... You know how you don’t want to piss off the kind people? That’s Trey. It’s also super Hufflepuff off him. 

Ruggie Bucchi - You’re probably very confused by this. Don’t worry, I totally understand. I was originally going to put Ruggie in Slytherin, and mind you--I think Ruggie himself would be surprised to be in Hufflepuff--but the thing is... Ruggie just suits Hufflepuff more. He’s not exactly just--but remember in the beginning of Scarabia’s chapter, Ruggie brought home a lot of food to share with his fellow hyenas. He’s also shown incredible loyalty and belief in Leona. Lastly, he’s one of the most (if not the most) hardworking character. Acknowledging all that just made it a no brainer to put him in Hufflepuff. 

Kalim Al-Asim - Kalim could’ve gone to Gryffindor, and if he thought to ask the Sorting Hat--he might’ve been put there too. But honestly... the thing that you got to love about Kalim (aside from his general good cheer) is his intense loyalty to his friends--especially Jamil. Also, because Kalim is just honest--he has nothing to hide--which fits within the traits upheld by Hufflepuff. 

Jamil Viper - Jamil should’ve been sorted to Slytherin. I mean, he’s the snake. The thing is, he would stick like glue to Kalim’s side, and that’s how we find him in Hufflepuff. Though he does have all of Slytherin’s cunning--he actually shares quite a lot of the traits desired in Hufflepuff. Loyalty (to Kalim, though he’ll deny it) and hardworking. I suppose another house that might suit Jamil would be Ravenclaw. 

Sebek Zigvolt - Ironically for Sebek, the reason he’s parted from Malleus is because of his loyalty to Malleus. I’ve mentioned several time that we don’t see much of Sebek beyond his loyalty, and because this has become the most definitive thing we can see of his personality--Hufflepuff was the obvious choice. 

“Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you’ve a ready mind,  Where those of wit and learning, will always find their kin...” 

Riddle Rosehearts - I chose Ravenclaw for Riddle--primarily because of his past. His mother ‘trained’ him into someone who saw and prioritised his academics. We also know him as an incredibly studious student. I can’t recall which card I read it on--but I know that he even lent his school notes to Deuce. Other than that, I considered Hufflepuff briefly because of his hardworking nature... but honestly I’m pretty sure Riddle would request to be in Ravenclaw. 

Vil Schoenheit - Vil was actually pretty easy to place. I chose Ravenclaw because Vil says in his third chat “ultimate beauty is said to also reside in intelligence.” I didn’t consider Slytherin because I felt that while Vil might have those Slytherin traits/qualities--he just prized the Ravenclaw ones (knowledge and creativity) as much more important. Vil would just be an insanely beautiful and smart student that people probably saw him as the second coming of Rowena Ravenclaw (who was known for both her beauty and intelligence). Imagine Vil wearing Ravenclaw’s diadem... oof I know what I’m drawing next.

Idia Shroud - Idia was someone difficult to place honestly. I’m still not sure if Ravenclaw is the best house for him... but the more I thought it, the more that, based on what we know about Idia so far--this would be the best house. He’s incredibly intelligent when it comes to technology--especially when we acknowledge that he did create Ortho by himself. Also because I do remember how when Ortho tried to get him outside, Idia chose to just create a program that would let him see the outside world instead. 

Malleus Draconia - For some reason, I don’t think Malleus suits Slytherin. Like he does have the traits for it--he’s certainly sly enough. He also probably has the pedigree/bloodline to be in Slytherin he’s also a reptile--but I think he suits Ravenclaw more. When it comes to Malleus, his power and abilities are always mentioned--especially how he’s the 5th Ranked Magician. To be a 5th Ranked Magician probably means possessing a lot of knowledge too so... He’s definitely Ravenclaw material. 

Lilia Vanrouge - My personal headcanon of Lilia in the Potterverse is that he’s likely gone to Hogwarts more than once. He’s likely been in each house at least once. So... his position in Ravenclaw is just because “he felt like it.” I will say that, Lilia of today--would be a Ravenclaw because of his wealth of knowledge. His initial house was probably Gryffindor because he was a knight, and I feel like he was probably even more enthusiastic/daring than he is today. 

“Or perhaps in Slytherin you’ll make your real friends, Those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends...”

Cater Diamond - Honestly... It’s more like because you can’t tell what his true intentions are that made me sort him into Slytherin. Especially his Dorm SSR, where it’s sort of highlighted that he’s at his best when motivated by self-interest. He was also pretty manipulative with Deuce during the Beans Day Event!

Leona Kingscholar - Okay I chose Slytherin because of the whole “these cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends” which is pretty much obvious from Leona’s whole story in the Savannaclaw chapter. He isn’t afraid to use underhanded techniques. Leona could probably flourish in Ravenclaw too... and if the Sorting Hat tried to put Leona in Gryffindor--I think he’d adamantly refuse that because he wouldn’t want to share that with Farena. 

Azul Ashengrotto - I considered putting Azul in either Hufflepuff (because of how hardworking he is) and Ravenclaw (because of how knowledgeable he is)... but the thing is, it’s what he pushes himself to do and how he uses his knowledge that ultimately put him in Slytherin. He puts effort into his knowledge to scam people--that’s very Slytherin to me. Also, I think it’s pretty amusing that Slytherin is underwater just as Octavinelle is. 

Jade Leech - I definitely considered Ravenclaw (for being clever) for Jade--but much like Azul, its what he does with his knowledge that ultimately made me put him in Slytherin. Also, I think in his SR Entrance Ceremony--it’s actually heavily implied that he’s capable of manipulating both Azul and Floyd to further his own amusement it’s sexy so that’s why I think he’s a definite Slytherin. what can I do to slytherin his bed

Floyd Leech - Unlike Azul and his brother, I thought about putting Floyd in Gryffindor because he was daring--and he had that nerve to challenge others... however, the thing about Floyd is that... I think he’s not particularly brave. He’s just not scared. There’s a difference there, and that made me put him in Slytherin. Primarily because of his threatening aura, but also because he’s wilful. If he’s motivated to do something, he’ll get it done--and that’s his very Slytherin trait. 

Rook Hunt - Rook--I didn’t really spend a lot of time thinking about it. I think his love for possessing knowledge (his desire to understand others, and using ‘stalking’ to do so) can certainly have put him in Ravenclaw--but I think it’s because he resorts to ‘stalking’ to attain his knowledge that truly makes him Slytherin. 

[marril96]

Extremely Cuddly, Shockingly Soft and Lovely

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: After helping the Winchesters out with a case, Rowena is being unusually affectionate.

A/N: Based on this prompt by my lovely friend @impala-1979

Editor: @miss-moon-guardian​

*****

Of all the ways Rowena could have greeted you, the last thing you expected was a bone-crushing hug. You'd barely said, "Hi," cut off halfway through by her arms around you, squeezing the life out of you. As if it had been months since you'd last seen her as opposed to mere days.

You didn't complain, though, instead returning the hug and squeezing back just as hard. She was warm in your arms. So tiny, so fragile, yes strong beyond belief.

"Well, hello there," you said, breaking into a grin, surprised but welcoming of the strange greeting.

Rowena wasn't a hugger. Or rather, she wasn't much of an initiator. She enjoyed a good cuddle, but she had to be prompted into it. Making the first step was beneath her, though, a few rare times, she allowed herself to snuggle in unprompted.

She'd gone to help Sam and Dean on a case a few days ago, and you were already missing her. The home was empty without her. The bed you shared cold, lifeless. Your body lacking hers to warm up with, to feel safe, at home.

You'd texted and video chatted countless times, but it wasn't the same. Nothing beat having her in your arms, safe and sound.

A part of you regretted not going with her. She'd made it more than clear that you were welcome to accompany her, just like all those times before. Against your heart's wishes, you'd opted not to. It was a fairly simple case, after all. An out of control witch. Nothing the three of them couldn't handle on their own.

You'd regretted that decision the moment the door had closed behind her on her way out.

Codependence wasn't healthy; you were more than aware of that. But still.

But still.

Now that you had her with you, you never wanted to let her go again.

To your utmost surprise, Rowena seemed to share the sentiment.

"Are you okay, baby?" you asked, baffled by the way she clung to you. So tight, a koala clinging to a tree branch. "Did something happen?"

She nuzzled your chest like an overly affectionate cat. "Everything is fine." Her voice was soft, lovely. Cotton candy and silk mixed into one. You wanted to melt in it.

You didn't buy it, but you let it go. Who were you to look gift hugs in the mouth?

"I missed you," you whispered, kissing her hair.

"I missed you, too, darling." She tightened her grip, Pressing her face against your chest.

You enjoyed the moment too much to chastise her for ruining your shirt. Makeup could be washed off. It wasn't every day that your girl initiated affection — to this degree, no less. A dirty shirt was a more than fair price to pay.

As the two of you settled in the living room to talk about her travels, Rowena remained by your side. Literally glued to you, as if you were bound at the hip. As she talked of tracking down the witch and killing her, her head was on your shoulder, one hand firmly in yours, fingers twined in an almost unbreakable knot.

When she got up to make tea, she dragged you with her to the kitchen, one hand on the kettle and the other holding yours. Gripping it with impossible strength so that you couldn't break away.

Your questions if something bad had happened had gone unanswered.

Maybe she'd remembered Lucifer again. Maybe something had triggered her — again, like many times before — along the way, and she didn't want to be alone like she was that day in May of 2017 when he showed up and messed her up for life. When, following a meaningless argument, you'd left to blow off some steam, and had returned to a bloodbath and a charred corpse in the middle of the hotel room.

Maybe she wanted to make sure that you were here. That, this time around, you wouldn't leave. That she wasn't alone.

You didn't have the heart to take it away from her.

So you remained at her side. You allowed her to drag you around the house, to cling to you as she sat beside you. Even when she squeezed too tight and it was hard to breathe, you didn't say a word.

Let her have her fantasy. Let her have her feeling of safety. You'd promised her, after she'd healed, that you would never leave her again, and you intended to make good on it.

Besides, it felt nice to have her so close. It felt nice to snuggle up without having to coax her into it. To, for once in your life, not have to be the instigator. Rowena was affectionate; she loved cuddles and snuggles. She loved kisses and nuzzles and sweet promises of love. Not once did you doubt that she loved you the same way you loved her. She was just different. More closed off, due to her background.

But, gods, you enjoyed this open side of her immensely. However short it may be, you decided to make the most of it.

"I love you, Y/N."

She'd said it multiple times over the last few hours, and you'd returned each one. It was music to your ears, a lullaby you could fall asleep to every night.

Whatever had happened must have shaken her. But she was safe now. That was all that mattered. She would never be unsafe again, not while she was with you. Not while you could wrap her in your embrace and nuzzle her hair and tell her you loved her over and over again, for as long as she was willing to listen. For as long as she was willing to say it back.

To your great surprise, Rowena insisted on making dinner. Your favorite, she said. She would make it exactly as you liked it.

Blinking twice, three times, four, to make sure you hadn't been transported to an alternate reality without noticing, you asked, "Since when do you cook?"

"Can't I treat my girlfriend to a lovely homemade meal every once in a while?" she said, looking through cupboards for the kitchenware. Sorting the items she needed on the island, neatly and in order as she did when she worked on potions.

It was more like once in every few years, but you decided not to comment. Who were you to say no to a homemade meal? It was surely better, much more intimate, than being treated to restaurant dinners (which you always welcomed. Rowena had impeccable taste, and she never failed to impress).

"Okay," you said, still baffled by her behavior. Was she truly shaken up by something, or was something else going on?

Your heart jumped, nervous tingles slipping down the back of your neck like an army of angry ants. Had you forgotten an important date? An anniversary of some sort?

You cleared your throat. Mentally prepared yourself for the ire she would unleash on you for forgetting whatever it was that had taken place on this day. In your defense, you'd never been the best with days. Hopefully, Rowena would take that into consideration before she obliterated you. "Are-are we celebrating something? Did I forget something again?"

Rowena laughed, a sweet, delicious melody. Harmless. "I'm just making you dinner, Y/N." You breathed out in relief, muscles springing free of tension that had strung them stiff. "You're acting as if I never do anything nice for you."

You shrugged, because she didn't. Not like this. She didn't cuddle so much. She didn't make the first move. She didn't tell you she loved you so frequently, so earnestly. She didn't make you dinner from scratch and act like it was the most normal thing in the world.

None of this was normal.

It both scared and intrigued you.

Rowena pouted and, walking over, pressed her forehead to your chest like an injured, attention-starved kitten.

Your heart just about exploded with guilt, with regret that ate at you like acid. "I didn't mean it like that," you said, rubbing her back in the gentlest of circles. What had gotten into her today?

She looked up at you. Narrowed her eyes as if in thought. "I may forgive you if you kiss me."

Seriously? Since when did she ask for a kiss instead of taking it? Since when did she bury her face into your shirt and pout until she got what she wanted?

That was usually your tactic.

"You drive a hard bargain," you teased, cupping her cheeks into your palms with utmost tenderness and laying a kiss, soft as silk, to her forehead. Then one to the tip of her nose, and another, the cherry on top, on her lips.

"Good girl," Rowena said, and, with a flash of a smile, went back to work on dinner. "You're forgiven. For now." She winked.

"You're mean," you told her.

"Me?" she clasped a hand over her heart dramatically. "Never."

Right. She was Miss Goody Two-Shoes. As if. You chuckled.

"Why would I be mean when I love you?"

So she kept saying. You never tired of hearing it, no matter how strange it was. How unlike her.

"To assert dominance?" you joked.

She raised an eyebrow. You blew her a raspberry.

"Mature, darling."

You gave a shrug. "That's just me saying I love you back."

Rowena grinned, and walked over for another kiss. As if she needed the assurance. As if she needed to feel you, to touch you, to make sure you meant it. As if, otherwise, it would all be a lie. You gave in to it because why wouldn't you? Strange as it was, it cost you nothing. When she got over whatever it was she was going through, she would go back to normal. For now, you decided to enjoy this needy, clingy side of her.

The meal turned out incredible. Rowena, by her own choice, wasn't a cook, but when she put her mind to it, she could whip out incredible food. As magical as the potions she always made. Just as crafty, just as professional.

She marveled in your praise as you ate, and pulled you into an embrace as you finished, beaming like the sun on a summer afternoon. Beautiful and bright, without a cloud in sight.

"I really loved it," you said, kissing her cheek to emphasize it. "You should cook more often."

"I shall cook for you every day," Rowena vowed.

You highly doubted that, but you went along with it. "Think you could make filet mignon tomorrow?"

She looked you in the eyes, serious as a storm. "The best you've ever had."

"Deal."

She caressed your scalp. "Why don't you sit here and relax while I clean up?"

You looked at her as if she'd suddenly grown a second head. Since when did she volunteer to clean up? Since when did she look so gleeful at the mere thought of it? Last time she was home, she rolled her eyes all the way through, complaining that there wasn't a spell to speed up the process and vowing to create her own. Tonight was supposed to be your turn to do it. "For real?"

"Aye. Let the food settle, won't you?" She patted your stomach affectionately and started gathering the dirty dishes.

You blinked, baffled. Sure this had to be some sort of a joke, though she appeared one hundred percent serious.

"Okay…" you said, unsure, though you tried not to dwell on it. You were no fan of chores, either.

As she cleared out the table and wiped it, thoroughly, with a cloth, she kissed your forehead, then committed to doing the dishes. Every now and again, she would throw a glance at you, making sure you were still where she'd left you. Making sure you hadn't left.

You were growing to enjoy this side of her. It was odd and different and it would surely not last for more than a few days, at most, but it was sweet. She was sweet; sugary, to a level most people would find disgusting, but you reveled in. You just hoped she eventually told you what was going on. A change like this, you deserved to know the reason for.

A sudden vibrating sound startled you. Your phone, abandoned on the coffee table, was buzzing, the screen flashing as bright as a lamp. Grabbing it, you were surprised to see it was Sam who was calling. You sighed, frustrated. What had happened now? Did the Winchesters need Rowena — again? If so, why didn't they call her? You doubted they wanted your help. Who went to the student when they could go straight to the teacher?

"Hello," you said, uncertain.

"Hey, Y/N." Sam was polite. Friendly as always. You were no fan of hunters, but you appreciated it. Out of them all, he seemed like the most trustworthy. "Has Rowena gotten home?"

"Yup. Hours ago."

Rowena raised an eyebrow. You shot her a smile, prompting her to keep on washing plates.

Sam breathed out loudly. Was that relief you were detecting? "She okay?"

Uh oh. "Is there a reason she shouldn't be?"

"I—"

"We need you to check her pockets," Dean cut in. No nonsense, straight to the point as always.

"Why?" you asked.

"Has she been acting weird?"

Weird would be an understatement. Heart jumping with concern, you said, "Well, I mean, she…" She's been cuddly as an attention-hungry kitten. You cleared your throat. "She's been a bit… odd."

It wasn't something bad, was it?

Cold chills slid down the back of your neck, thin and prickly as needles.

Was it?!

"Check her pockets," Dean told you. "She might be cursed. Jack was acting weird all day, and we just found a hex bag in his pocket."

Cursed? Rowena could be cursed?

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit!

It was obvious, now that you thought about it. Of course she was cursed. Why else would she glue herself to you as if you were conjoined twins? Why else would she volunteer to make dinner for no special occasion — your favorite, at that — and insist that she do the dishes? Why else would she be so fucking squishy?

"On it. Thanks for letting me know."

As soon as you hung up, you were on your feet, heart racing, concern rising. Please, don't be a bad one, you prayed to any deity willing to listen. Please, please, please. The witch they'd faced was powerful, Rowena had told you. Dangerous. Sadistic. A radical change of behavior in her victims was certainly just the beginning.

You had no intention to see how it ended. Enough time had passed already. Hopefully, you'd managed to catch on to it in time, before something serious — something cruel, deadly — took effect.

"A friend?" Rowena inquired, raising a curious eyebrow.

"Sam and Dean."

"Ah. Checking up on me, are they?"

She had no idea.

As you got close, she did what she'd been doing all day and threw her arms around you. You sank into the embrace, let her curl around you like a piece of a puzzle perfectly nesting into place. Your hands slid down to her hips, felt for the pockets of her dress pants. Fingers slithered in as soon as they found them.

Your right fingertip brushed against a rough fabric, and relief instantly flooded you, a welcome, much needed high. Grabbing the small pouch, you threw it down. Swiftly, forcefully, as if it were poison deadly to the touch.

"What are you—" Rowena's eyes trailed yours, widening at the sight of the hex bag. Tiny. The color of rust. Almost harmless, lying all alone, abandoned, on the floor.

You spat, "Ignis." Fire.

The bag instantly burst into flames. Bright and orange, they devoured it, ate it from the inside out like acid, until it was nothing but a pile of ash. Fragile. Easily scattered. Powerless.

Rowena stared at it. She did nothing, said nothing, just stared at the grayish-black remains of the hex bag. Her arms were limp at her sides. Lips tight in an unreadable line.

"Rowena?" you said, concerned. "You okay?"

No reaction. No acknowledgement.

Nothing.

"Baby?"

She swallowed.

You reached for her hand, only to be pushed away. The rejection stung like a slap to the face.

Was this the aftermath of the curse? Was she shaken up about being snapped out of it so suddenly?

"Rowena, sweetie—"

"I was cursed." Her voice was cold. Distant.

"Yup. Sam and Dean said Jack was cursed, and they wanted me to check your pockets, to make sure."

Good thing they did, otherwise… Something would have happened. Something bad. You didn't know what, but you could guarantee it was nothing good. Evil witches didn't hex people who were after them mildly. Rowena, a former evil witch herself, would know that better than anyone.

"But you're okay now," you said. "Right?"

She gave a nod.

At least there was that.

A moment passed in silence, then Rowena uttered, "You didn't notice."

"What?"

"I wasn't myself, and you didn't notice."

Was that offense in her tone?

"It's not like that," you said, guilt lacing your words. "I just figured you were going through some stuff."

She stared at you, incredulous. "Like being cursed?"

She was offended. She was mad.

Shit. You swallowed. "Well…"

Thinking of it now, it was obvious. She hadn't been herself. Had been acting too different, too strange. Too unlike the woman you'd gotten to know in the past six years.

Rowena gasped. Dramatic. Exaggerated. Over the top. Her usual style. You sighed, mentally preparing yourself for the blow up. Here we go.

"How could you not notice? It was right in your bloody face!" she exclaimed in that tone that both intimidated and intrigued you, the one veteran theater actresses would envy. "Do I look like a bloody attention whore?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

She scowled as if you'd insulted her. Which, to be fair, you probably had. Raising her forefinger threateningly (not that you were truly afraid.She could be intimidating, but you never feared her), in your face, she snapped, "Don't be a smartarse!"

You shrugged, nonchalant. She was dramatic. You were a smartass. Some things were just facts.

"You liked it, didn't you?"

"What?"

"You liked me slobbering all over you like a diseased cat and waiting on you hand and foot." She crossed her arms. Her expression softened, mellowed into something you couldn't quite put your finger on. Something… sad.

Was that what she thought? That you didn't notice her being cursed because you enjoyed taking advantage of her? That you jumped at the chance?

It was your turn to be offended. "I can't believe you just said that."

"What am I supposed to think?"

"You're supposed to know me better than that."

"You are supposed to know me, as well, and look how that turned out."

Seriously? She was going there? You supposed you shouldn't be surprised; when Rowena kicked, she aimed for the lowest area. Not just because of her height.

"I thought something triggered you while you were working the case!" you exclaimed. "I didn't wanna say anything because I figured you just wanted to cuddle for a day or two, and you'd be back to normal. It's happened in the past!"

You didn't want to bring it up, but if she was going to be a bitch, you might as well make her face the truth. You felt bad for not noticing. Felt guilty. But there have been times, in the past, when she remembered Lucifer, and all she needed was some love, some sense of safety for a little while until the fear subsided. The two of you never talked about it; you'd had a consensus, a wordless agreement to let it happen.

So you let it happen.

It was harmless, usually. Just some cuddles and kisses. How were you to know a curse would make her exhibit the same symptoms?

Rowena had the decency to look ashamed. Eyes falling to her feet, avoiding yours for as much as they could, she said, "I know I'm not the most affectionate person."

"Are you kidding? You're the cuddliest witch I know!" She leveled you with a stare that threatened murder. You grinned. She rolled her eyes. "I'm serious. I admit, it was nice to see you take more of an initiative, but I don't think there's anything… lacking with the way you usually are. I wouldn't have you any other way."

She cracked a small smile. "Sap."

"You made me do it!" you accused jokingly.

She sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"

"How about a hug?" She gave you a look, one of those she reserved for when you did something incredibly stupid and she had no words to encompass it. "Please?"

"Maybe a small one," she relented after a moment of thought.

Giggling, you threw your arms around her and squeezed as hard as you could.

"Y/N!" Rowena protested.

"I can't help it!" you said, ecstatic. "You're just so squishy!"

"And you're mean!" she whined.

You could live with that.

She pouted for a few seconds before returning the hug and nestling comfortably against you, exactly where she belonged. Safe and sound and, most important of all, content. Happy, though she would never say it out loud.

"Say, Rowena..." you said, uncertain how to best approach the issue. "About that filet mignon you promised…"

"Don't even think about it."

You figured as much.

But it was okay. Because she was okay. She was unharmed. Herself. Yours, exactly as she was, with all her sides, good and bad.

Overly affectionate or not, she would always be your girl. There wasn't a single thing she could do to make you love her less. Laughter, tears, joy, grief, happiness, fear; you'd been through it all, and hadn't regretted a thing. Would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

But… damn, you were really looking forward to that filet mignon.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @shadowgirl-vsb @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @evil-regal-vampiress @hellbentredhead @angel-e-v-a @a-queen-and-her-throne @carryon-doctor-lock @fangirlxwritesx67 @theeasterbilby @midnight-lestrange @osterhagen @impala-1979 @gracib16 @feelsandotps

[waifstarion]

I don’t think there is any harm in the baby Jack posts as he is in canon a baby, we only ever see him from age 0-3, it’s his 4th birthday next month. Never in canon has it stated Jack is autistic or coded as such, those quirks we see are canon as an angel not fitting in on earth, Castiel does it all the time. I believe it’s only really Gabriel who doesn’t have this issue as he’s been on earth for a very long time. I have quite a few traits in common with Jack from another condition that is not autism but overlaps, along with others (my condition sadly is very hard to diagnose for this reason, so a lot of people are often misdiagnosed as something else) I don’t post how angry that makes me as people are appropriating my condition and babying my traits (even if I do need help sometimes dressing myself right) If people are happy making Jack a baby then they should be allowed to post that. Jack only aged himself up after Kelly told him the world was unsafe, now Chuck has gone there’s no reason why Jack wouldn’t deage himself back to a toddler to finally experience playing on swings, slides and all the fun things with Castiel and Amara by his side. In a way too, the baby Jack is also a coping mechanism, in canon Jack left and Sam and Dean never seen him again, Sam lived at least 40 years without seeing Jack ever again and even in heaven, Jack wasn’t there 😭😭😭 so to draw or headcanon a small child who may need Sam to cut off the crust on his bread sandwiches, or Dean to read him a story and it be Game of Thrones or something... then that’s how that fan is coping with the true sad ending of Jack’s arc. We know he is with Castiel, he’s happy but Sam and Dean never learned that until after they died.

we would consider him a baby age-wise, as he is never older than three. however, seeing as he was born in a body roughly the age of eighteen, give or take a couple years (based on sam giving 2000 as his fake birth year when he was in the hospital and the cut line from 13x06). jack is never mentally an infant. he may have had the mentality of a younger child in his early episodes, but it doesn’t take too long for him to reach the mindset of a teenager. even at the end of the show, his mental age is probably around late adolescence or early adulthood (though that is up for interpretation). while he may be a baby in a very literal sense of the word (ie age-wise), he is not a baby in his mental state or appearance, which is what truly matters.

jack’s autism coding is all up to interpretation, however, i very intentionally use the term coding due to the fact that it is never outright stated in canon. coding typically isn’t confirmed within the actual show, otherwise i would have simply called it canon. another prominent character with autism coding (which was confirmed by ben edlund in the s6 commentary) is castiel, who just so happens to be a strong basis for jack’s character. many of the other angels are seen exhibiting neurotypical behaviours. angels such as naomi, balthazar, metatron, and many more do not display the traits that cas does. significantly, misha has said in numerous interviews that while his initial intention was to portray cas as something unhuman and unaware of human customs, not a single other actor did the same. as a result, this left cas as the odd one out, firmly establishing that this behaviour is just cas being himself, not an inherent side effect of being an angel. furthermore, the angels frequently make comments about cas being an outlier who doesn’t fit in, and make comments about it being a fundamental difference (eg. coming off the line with a crack in his chassis) rather than a learned behaviour. circling back to the autistic coding of cas and jack, it is never outright stated that either one is autistic, however there are traits that lead people to believe they are. this post does a good job of illustrating some potential autistic coding in jack. while it may not be intentional, it is certainly there, and a very prevalent interpretation within fandom. i'm sorry to hear that people infantilize your condition. i respect the fact that you make the personal decision not to make angry posts about it, as that is your prerogative. however, it is also mine to make a post about a pattern of behaviour i (and others) have noticed in fandom. the intention of my post is to encourage people to notice such patterns, and to draw their attention to it as there could be many people who never considered it from this point of view.

i never said they aren’t allowed to post it. on the contrary, i reblog posts about it on a semi-frequent basis. that being said, i find that there is a difference between sometimes posting about it versus exclusively portraying him as a baby and never talking about him as a person. in my post, i very clearly stated that it was about people posting it constantly and exclusively portraying him as an infant, which was my phrasing verbatim. it can be fun to portray characters in different ways, but in my opinion it becomes a problem when you constantly erase his character and backstory just to be a prop for a ship or your favourite character.

as for him wanting to deage himself, he has never indicated that. quite the contrary, he has been bothered when he is not taken seriously or seen as incapable. he wants to be capable and independent. it doesn’t make sense for him to want to limit himself mentally and physically so he becomes entirely reliant on those around him. he would lose essentially all of his autonomy, and i doubt that would be enjoyable for him. if he wants to go on a swing or a slide, no one’s stopping him in his current state. he can do plenty of the typical fun things while still being in his current form.

as it is, i don’t think that jack would be yearning for the stereotypical ideal childhood. no one jack has been around has had a normal, stable childhood. the bros, cas, rowena, etc all had abnormal and unstable childhoods. he was very briefly in his mother’s childhood heaven and that’s about the extent of it. even then, her heaven just consisted of her house with her dog. jack had a house and a pet, which he could easily view it as similar. even the tv shows we know he watches (clone wars, the walking dead, and riverdale) all seem to deal with people who do not get to experience real childhoods. he may not even be aware of the extent he is missing out on. even if he is aware, he may be perfectly fine with that and content with the memories he has already.

citing sam and dean’s preferences in and of itself is endemic to the issue of the constant baby jack posting. to be blunt, i don’t really care about what sam and dean want him to present himself as. they made little to no attempt to care for him as it was, so why should jack sacrifice his autonomy just so they can get some enjoyment out of it? in the finale, they barely even noticed his absence. you mention sam living forty years without him, yet he couldn’t be bothered to include a single photo of him in his house. jack shouldn’t have to change himself to make people happy. he should be himself, with complete autonomy, and loved for that. there is no true sad ending of jack’s arc. he’s happy with cas, just as you said. cas loved him unconditionally and was the only one who believed in him the entire time. cas wasn’t fazed when jack was an adult instead of the baby he had anticipated. he was happy to be with his son, regardless of what form that took.

the way cas and jack operate heaven is also left largely up to interpretation. all we know is that sam and dean are now there in the same place of them. it can easily be interpreted that they are all spending time together if that’s what you so please. it could very well be amara, cas, or another character that runs heaven. we don’t even know if there is anyone who needs to be in charge. it may run autonomously at this point and allow for jack to go off on whatever little hijinks he pleases

there are ways to write about tfw and jack post finale without erasing his personality and turning him into a prop. the entire issue is the fact that jack keeps getting used as a prop, and his tag consists almost exclusively of content where he is used as an accessory for other characters. all i’m asking is for people to stop constantly infantilizing him and to take the time to portray him as a fleshed out character sometimes.

[writingfromkitchenator]

Agathokakological

Artist: @dmsilvisart​

Beta (if applicable): @emmagan

Rating: M

Word count: 13,829

Warnings: Blood, mentions of torture, violence, near death experience (major character), fatal injury, subtle loss of control from spell

Other important tags: Magic, canon divergence, powerful character, love spell, obsession, vaguely set during season 11, hidden past

Crowley x Original Female Character

Other characters: Sam, Dean, Castiel, Gabriel, Lucifer, Balthazar, Rowena, Chuck

AO3 Link

The absolutely amazing art is shared below!  I cannot thank @dmsilvisart​ enough, I absolutely adore it!

Summary: After being hit by a love spell, Luna has to adapt herself quickly to try and prevent her past being brought to light, as well as stopping her friends from getting themselves killed.  In a time of crisis she knows there’s only one person she can trust, as she always had, and Crowley finds that he still can’t tell her no.

The spell had been rushed, launched as a final distraction to ensure a getaway, and the fact that it made contact, was even better.

Just not for Luna.

She was unharmed, much to her initial surprise, but after a few moments, it began to sink in as to what the spell was actually effecting.

Castiel hauled her to her feet, earning a startled yelp, and he brushed her down rather roughly, surprising her completely.  This behaviour was completely unlike the angel and she didn’t really know how to take it for a moment.

“Are you alright?” He asked.  “She didn't hurt you did she?”

Luna managed to free herself from Castiel's grip, letting out a sigh as she heard the Winchester’s approaching.  “I'm fine, I don't know what it did, or was meant to do, but I'm fine.  I feel fine.”

Castiel stared at her, unconvinced, and she realised that there's something different about the way he looked at her.

Her gaze was dragged away by Sam and Dean bursting in.

“What happened?” Dean asked rather angrily, bee lining for her, his eyes doing a quick scan of her.

“Rowena got away,” Luna said.  “Whatever spell she was intending to use on me, was incomplete, so it didn't work. I'm fine.”

Dean stopped short of her and Luna found herself looking at him and then to Sam.  The same look was in their eyes as Castiel.

“Are you guys okay?” She asked, a worried feeling beginning to bubble up in her stomach.

“Just worried about you,” Sam said, finally putting his gun away.  “I think it's time we got away from here.  We can track down Rowena later.”

Luna was stunned when Castiel and Dean agreed.  “We've been chasing her for months and you guys are going to call it quits?  Just like that?  For all we know, she’s just in the next room.”

“For now,” Dean said, he took her arm and started pulling her from the room.  “But right now, we need to get you checked over and safe.”

She stopped dead, frowning, Dean looking back at her.  “I told you guys, I'm fine, but the three of you are acting really weird.  If I didn’t feel the impact, I would’ve said that the spell hit you.”

“I'm not acting weird,” Dean said, letting his hand drop.  “But we do need to get out of here.  The spell could have a delayed effect, the sooner we are safe, the sooner we can check.”

It didn't stick, something about the way he said it just didn't make sense, and Luna stared at him until he shrugged.

“Come on Luna,” Sam stepped in close.  “I think we could all just use a moment to regather ourselves.  We'll go get some food or drink or something.”

Luna had no idea what to say to this and even looking back at Castiel didn't help, his gaze intensely on her, as if he wanted to stride over and just teleport her away.

“Okay,” She said, but kept herself out of anyone's reach.  “If you guys insist.”

It got even weirder when they made a stop at a gas station.

Luna ducked in to grab some snacks and she quickly took notice of the clerk’s eyes following her around the store.  The hair on the back of her neck started to raise up, a million possibilities flooding through her mind.

She made her way to the register and as she put her collection of items down, the clerk interrupted her.

“Free of charge.” He said, his cheeks quickly flushing red as she met his gaze, an eyebrow raised.

“I'm sorry?”

He seemed to swallow a growing lump in his throat.  “F-free of charge.  Anything you want, you don't have to pay.”

Luna frowned.  “I can't do that.  How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing!” His voice rose an octave till he cleared his throat.  “Anything for you.”

There it was again, that odd look in his eye, and something slowly began to dawn on her.

The bell sounded, Dean entering.  “You all good Luna?”

“Uh huh,” Luna said slowly and looked back at her items.  “You know what, don't worry about it.”

She left quickly, even as the clerk sputtered after her, the awkwardness leaving an odd weight on her shoulders.

Sam's frown was full of concern.  “Are you okay?”

“No,” Luna said, quickly getting back in the car.  “But leave it.  I need to think.”

When Dean returned, he was ladened down with food.

“Seriously dude?” Sam asked as Dean dumped it all in the car.

“What?”  Dean shrugged.  “The guy was insistent, kept rambling on about not wanting Luna to starve. I don't know what you did to him before I walked in.”

“I didn't do anything,” She said, frustrated.  “He wouldn't stop staring at me from the moment I walked in.”

Castiel, who, up until this point had remained obstinately silent, suddenly disappeared from the seat next to her, making her jump.

The three of them quickly looked over as there was a crash from the gas station, Castiel holding tight to the front of the shirt of the terrified clerk.

“Cas, what the hell man!” Dean was out first, quickly followed by Luna and Sam.  “Put him down, he didn't do anything.”

Luna stared at the tenseness in Castiel, her previous theory slowly becoming more prominent.

“Cas, put him down.” She said firmly, earning the angels gaze.  “I mean it Cas, staring is nothing to get upset over.”

Slowly, Castiel put the terrified young man down, an unmistakable look of anger in his eyes. “He made you uncomfortable.”

“I'm sorry!” The clerk squeaked.

“At the moment, all of you are making me uncomfortable,” Luna said, a little angrily.  “Now, I don't know what's going on, but we're all going to calmly get into the Impala, and we're going to go home, got it?”

There was silence for a moment before Castiel nodded and Dean shrugged, both heading to the car.

Sam lingered behind her. “Luna-"

“Sam, if you dare ask if I'm okay, I will tell Dean to leave you here.”  She said, quickly striding past him as his face flushed red, the doors closing behind them.

Silence sat heavily in the car all the way back to the bunker, the thought of chasing down Rowena long gone from any of their minds.  Luna was now more concerned about whatever this spell was doing to those that were around her.

It wasn't until they pulled into the garage that Luna realised that there were going to be three more people in here to contend with, ones she currently didn't want to test her theory on.

Getting quickly from the car, ignoring the three men's looks, she hurried to her room and shut her door.

“The spell hadn't been ready,” She said to herself as started to pace.  “So why do I have a feeling that this was still the intended effect?”

Luna knew magic, knew it better than most of them, she could recognise an incomplete spell when she heard and felt one, so why was this having so much effect on her?  It didn’t make sense, she couldn’t understand it, but she knew that there was a good chance that she was going to have to try and fix this on her own.

“Hey sugar, what are you hiding in-”

She jumped as Gabriel popped into her room, stopping mid-sentence, his head tilting as he stared at her.

Luna groaned.  “Oh Gabe, come on, I came in here so I wouldn’t be seen, not to mention the fact that I’ve asked you not to do that.”

Gabriel frowned slowly at this, and she could see his mind working, but there was no missing that now familiar look in his eyes.  “Why would you not want to be seen?”

“Because something is happening, and I was trying to avoid anyone else being affected by it,” She said, a note of desperation in her voice.  “I was hit by a spell and-”

“Are you alright?” He asked suddenly, looking her over quickly, as if expecting to see an injury.  “You’re not hurt are you?”

“No!”  Luna snapped and rolled her eyes.  “For the last time, I’m fine!  If you all actually listened to me-”

Her room disappeared around her and she froze, finding herself out in the main room of the bunker, all eyes turning to her.

“Oi, what did you knobs allow her to get hit by a spell for?”  Gabriel asked Sam, Dean and Castiel angrily.

“We didn’t let her do anything,” Dean said, frowning.  “Rowena got lucky.”

“She’s fine Gabriel,” Castiel said.  “She assured us that she wasn’t hurt.”

“But who knows what else it’s doing to her!”  He said and the four of them started to argue.

Luna was preoccupied though, very aware of the other two gazes now on her too.  As cautiously as she can, she casts a look to the other side of the room, and refrains from flinching, both Balthazar and Lucifer staring at her.  If she didn’t know any better, it was like the two of them were seeing her for the first time, much like Gabriel’s stare had been, and the more she thought about it, the more she thought that Castiel, Sam and Dean’s had been almost the same way, she just hadn’t been paying attention to it.

The one that scared her most was Lucifer, something dark in gaze, and she had to quickly drag herself back to the argument at hand as voices began to raise.

“Stop.”  She said it so firmly and loudly that a silence sat in the room.  “All of you will stop this right now.”  They all stare at her and she takes a deep breath, trying to stop the racing of her heart. “Thank you.  Now, and I’m going to make this very clear.  Whatever your reactions and or feelings currently are about me, I believe that that has been from whatever spell Rowena hit me with. So, I need you all to calm down, and think rationally about this.”

Sam was first to react, frowning at her.  “If the spell was affecting us, we’d know it Luna, and it hit you, not any of us.”

Luna shook her head. “Not necessarily Sam, it depends on the nature of the spell that she cast, and judging by what all of you have been doing since you saw me, it was to cause utter chaos.”

Another moment of silence passed through the room.

“I’m sorry,” Balthazar said finally.  “Just what reaction am I meant to be having?”

She sighed.  “That’s not helping.  Don’t you think that I can see it all in you?  You’ve all been acting differently since you’ve seen me after I was hit with that spell.”  When they still all just looked unconvinced, she makes a frustrated grunt, glaring at Castiel, Sam and Dean.  “Why do you think that that clerk reacted how he did?  He saw me and something changed!  Look at all the free food he gave us because of me!”

“Free petrol too,” Dean said, his grin quickly faltering at Luna’s glare.  “Well what was I supposed to do?  Leave him a credit card so he can charge me when he feels like it?  He might’ve just been trying to get fired, you don’t know.”

“Fired, right.”  Her gaze moved to Castiel.  “And your reaction?”

Castiel’s cheeks tinged pink.  “I didn’t like that he was making you uncomfortable.”

“Why was he making you uncomfortable?”  Gabriel asked quickly.

“You don’t need to know.” Luna said quickly.  “All you lot need to know is that it was because of the spell.  Gabriel, you yourself were fine when you burst into my room, but as soon as you saw me-”

“How uncouth.” Balthazar said, looking at Gabriel. “I’m pretty sure she’s asked you not to do that.”

“Well, excuse me for being worried when she didn’t reappear with the three musketeers here.”  Gabriel said hotly.  “I don’t see either of you making an effort.”

Lucifer’s smirk set Luna’s teeth on edge.  “What do we need to make an effort for?  I do believe any decision that needs to be made, needs to be made by Luna.”

“And what makes you so sure she’ll pick you?”  Gabriel asked, cutting Luna off.  “The last I checked, she couldn’t stand your guts.”

“In all fairness Gabriel, she’s never really liked any of us,” Balthazar said.  “If I do remember correctly, there have been a fair few colourfully worded insults thrown our way.”

“I’ve got a few more if you keep talking like I’m not here.”  Luna growled, but they either ignored her or didn’t hear her.

Gabriel smirked. “And it’s absolutely killing you to admit that, isn’t it?”

“At least he will admit it,” Lucifer drawled.  “Unlike you, constantly popping in and out of denial.”

“Denial?  You’re really going to compare me to the Winchester’s and yourself?”

“Hey!”

“Well, you have spent enough time around them.  I have more important things to worry about.”

“You guys don’t get to just put that on us.  You lot are hardly perfect yourselves, even for angels.”

“That’s hardly fair Dean, you’ve tried to kill her before as well.”

“Because I was a demon!”

“And like that makes things any better.”

“Like she’s going to pick anyone that’s been down that road.”

“That makes you a saint in comparison doesn’t it?”

“I’m sure we could come to some sort of arrangement Sam, then we may just both get what we want.”

Back and forth the arguing went, each point making Luna just feel worse, both in anger and in the bad feeling sitting in her stomach.  When she tried to talk again, and again her voice fell on deaf ears, she huffed and stormed back to her room.

In her room, she dug out a permanent marker and quickly drew a symbol on her door, and then shoved her dresser in front of it, ensuring that she wouldn’t have any visitors.  It wasn’t perfect, and she knew that there was a chance she would need to get properly out eventually, but for now, it was enough to be able to think.

Luna sat on the edge of her bed, resting her head in her hands for a long moment.  She was worried that the argument may get worse, but she also hoped that her presence not being there, would help ease the tension in the room.

She stared at the floor, unsure of where to start.  The internet wasn’t going to be of much help, and all the books she could’ve needed were out with the others.

Huffing, she lets herself flop back onto the bed, working several options through her mind, each less impressive than the last, until she finally had a thought on one person that would potentially be able to help.  Whether he would or not, would be another question.  It wasn’t that they had a bad relationship or anything, in fact, she’d probably known him the longest out of anyone, but it was more she didn’t know how far she could push the friendship.

Crowley had looked at her like she was crazy, and while she knew it definitely wasn’t a normal request, she was fully in her right mind.  “This is important Crowley.”

“I had figured,” He said calmly enough, but it was clear that he was a little on edge.  “You do realise though what sort of target this is going to put on you?”

Luna shrugged.  “No one knows me bar you, maybe the princes, but none of them have really been seen in years bar Azazel.”

He remained unconvinced.  “And Lilith?”

“Okay, and Lilith,” Luna huffed.  “Honestly Crowley, I don’t give a damned about any of them.  None of them know this. That’s all that matters.  None of them control me and you are the closest one I know to be able to trust you with this.”

“Terrible idea really.”  Crowley said flatly.  “No matter how much I know you’ll torture me if it ever gets out.”

Luna sighed heavily, scowling at him, losing patience.  “Look, will you do it or not?”

Crowley pursed his lips, thinking for a moment longer before he nodded.  “I’ll do it, but I want you to know, I do not like it.”

“And your price?”

“I’ll think of something,” He said with a casual shrug, his usual smirk tugging at his lips.  “For now, though, let’s just leave it at that.”

Luna shook her head of the memory, just one of the many that she had, some not so peaceful.  She didn’t know why, but she had to keep believing that Crowley would help, no matter what, because the danger of thinking otherwise was something she wasn’t sure she could face.

Hesitantly, she took out her phone and scrolled through till she found his name.  She had no idea how to start a message, just staring at it for a long moment, until she knew that she would have to get straight to the point.

It seems your mother has given me a wonderful gift after hitting me with a spell.  I’m sure that’s bringing up all sorts of questions in itself, but let me just say that 1. Don’t come and see me, and 2. It’s a pain in the arse; I’ve got six men arguing over it already and a store clerk that couldn’t stop staring.  Can you help?

Luna hit send before she talked herself out of it, and then held her breath as she waited for a response.

She was pleased when it didn’t take long.

That’s awfully vague and amusing.  I take it the whole not seeing you part is from the effects of the spell?

She lets out a breath and feels herself finally relax slightly since all this started.

Good guess.  I’m almost worried that they’ll start killing each other, but if I can get rid of this spell, then hopefully I can stop that too.

I don’t know, sounds like an ideal scenario to me.

There was a loud crash outside, making Luna jump.

“Ow!”  Gabriel’s voice said.  “Why would you lock us out Luna?”

“Because I have more important things to deal with than listening to you lot argue over me,” She said hotly.  “So you’ll all just leave me alone, got it?”

“Come on sug-”

“No Gabriel.  Go away.”

She turned back to her phone.  I’m sure it does, but it’s not for me.  I’m almost 100% sure that Lucifer would ensure it was him that would win.

There was a long moment of silence to this, one that had Luna more than a little nervous.

That’s hardly going to be good for anyone.

No shit Crowley.  Can you help or not? I'm a little stuck here.

Isn't it a good thing I owe you favour?

She sighed at this, knowing that it would come up.  It had been Crowley that had introduced her to the Winchester's, the two of them having worked together on a few things before, although neither of them were particularly happy about it.

When she made friends with them, he was nothing short of amused, and while it didn't change much between them, it changed enough.

It might just be enough for us to be back to even.

Crowley smiled at the message and shook his head.  “Ah love, if only you knew.”

Leave it with me.

Without much thought, he teleported to the bunker, and he actually took a moment to look at the six men sitting there, all looking rather miserable.

“Having a pity party are we?” He asked.

He knew it was bad when no one, not even Dean or Lucifer, said anything smart back.

Sam sighed, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.  “Luna is locked in her room.  It seems we succeeded in upsetting her.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow.  “And this is a good reason for the mood because...”

“Why do you think Crowley?” Dean huffed, picking at the label of his beer. “What are you even doing here?”

“Entertaining myself,” He said lightly, although he was currently thinking back to her messages.  “A little birdy told me you were all miserable sods, so I came to see for myself. I can’t say I’m disappointed.”

When he still didn't receive any sort of response, he knew things were bad, and as much as Luna had warned him, he needed to see her to be able to tell just what sort of spell was at work.

“Hello darling,” He said, appearing in her room, making her jump. “I have to say, you have wonderful company.”

Luna was instantly anxious, as if expecting something to happen as she looked at him.  “Crowley, I told you not to come and see me.”

“I know,” He said.  “But if you want me to find out what's going on and how to undo this spell, then I'm going to have to try and work out what's hit you in the first place.”

She stared at him for a long moment, searching his eyes.  “You're not...affected?”

Crowley tilted his head.  “You seem completely normal to me love.  I certainly don't see any need to be wallowing in my own pity like that lot are.” He smirked.  “Maybe I should take a few videos, it is quite amusing.”

“I would much rather not have any memories of this, thank you.”  Luna said, looking miserable and frustrated. “At least I know they aren’t fighting anymore.”

“Then I definitely would’ve taken videos.”

Luna sighed but finally smiled a little at him.  “Cute Crowley.  Do you have any idea what this is like?  I feel like I’ve become the centre of their whole attention.”

Crowley hummed in thought, looking her over.  “Well, whatever magic has hit you is currently hidden from me, which means there is a good chance that we are going to need my mother to remove it.  Do you feel any different?”

She shook her head.  “No, nothing. The spell winded me for a moment and knocked me back, but that’s it.  I would’ve said it was incomplete, but the longer that this goes on, the more I’m doubting what I saw and heard.”

“Which was?”

She repeated what she heard Rowena say, or, as close as she could remember it.  With all the current distractions, it hadn’t been a top priority, and when Rowena had even hit her with the spell, she’d been more occupied in trying to take the witch down.

Crowley thinks again.  “Alright, give me a moment.”

He reappeared back with the others, all still looking rather miserable. Dean had successfully peeled the label of off his beer and was now spinning the bottle on the table.  Sam was trying to keep himself focused on the book in front of him, but it didn’t stop him constantly looking up or rubbing the back of his neck.

Castiel seemed content to stare at the floor where he was sitting, his foot tapping occasionally.  Gabriel stared down the hall and Crowley just knew that he was itching to see Luna. Balthazar hummed away to himself, pretending to be distracted by a glass of wine and a book, and it seemed that Lucifer was intent on staring at him, trying to be annoyed.

“What is wrong with you all?”  Crowley asked, finally, understanding Luna’s discomfort, an odd air sitting in the room.  “What is going through your heads to just be sitting here doing nothing?”

There were a few shared glances, but it was Gabriel who answered, finally breaking his gaze away from the doorway.

“You’ve seen her,” He said, sounding miserable.  “Don’t you feel it too?  We love her.”

Crowley blinked.  “I’m sorry?”

“I love Luna.”  Gabriel said loudly, standing and puffing his chest out with pride.  “And I’d like to see any of you challenge it.”

Dean glared at him.  “Dude, we all love Luna, and it’s not a competition.”

Murmured agreements came from all of them and Crowley couldn’t help but stare at them, it slowly clicking that Luna had realised this already, which was why she’d asked him not to see her.

But then, why hadn’t he been affected?  They had known each other a long time now, but Gabriel and Lucifer were archangels, they were meant to be some of the most powerful beings there were. He had little doubt that this was no simple spell, especially to provide such a result, but it was certainly nothing he’d heard about before, which was no small feat.  Luna was the only person that had ever done such a thing before.

“How did you even find such magic?”  Crowley asked frowning, but then shook his head, a little angry.  “Don’t answer that.  Why would want to go through with such magic?”

Luna wouldn’t look at him and this bothered him even more.  “You don’t know what it’s like Crowley.  None of you do.  This is the only option I have.”

“Only option…Luna, there is nothing wrong with you now.”

She shook her head, giving him a small smile.  “You are saying that simply because of how much I’ve done for you lately.”

“Rather effortlessly,” He said flatly.  “But that is beside the point.  You were naught but rumour and speculation when I was first thrown into this hole, and I have told you since I found you that you have potential to take the top bloody job if you wanted to.  There is nothing wrong with that.”

“I don’t want the top job,” Luna said, her eyes flashing in anger for a moment so she dragged her gaze away.  “I want to be normal.”

“Normal is boring darling.” Crowley said.  “You cannot ask this of me.”

“It’s going to take me time to gather what I need anyway,” Luna said, turning away. “Think about it Crowley.  I’d rather not do this alone.”

Crowley had watched her go, had felt helpless to do anything, and had a growing worry that this was going to be something well out of his control, not that she was anyway.  Somehow, the whole time they had known each other, they had just worked off of a healthy respect of the other.

He admired her strength.  She admired his tenacity.

Crowley continued staring at the men in the room, a brief thought flickering through his mind, about how that hadn’t changed between them, even though it really should have.  He quickly forced it away though, wanting to deal with the problem at hand.

“Right,” Crowley said, a little slowly.  “And this has all been since you’ve seen her after she was hit the spell?”

“Well, you should bloody know,” Dean growled.  “You’ve seen her too.”

“Of course,” Crowley lied.  “Just making sure.  You do all realise that this is magic at work?”

There was a mumble around the room and Crowley’s frowned deepened.

“It feels like I’ve felt like this forever,” Castiel spoke up finally. “Every memory I have with her just makes me…makes me feel…”

Sam looked up, interrupting Castiel.  “You can see her right Crowley?  She hasn’t blocked you from her room?  Maybe you can tell her that we’re sorry?”

Crowley stared for a long moment before shaking his head.  “I am not an errand boy Moose, so that’s no can do. In fact, her and I have something much important to attend-”

His words stuck in his throat and he could feel Lucifer’s gaze burning into him, a curl in his lip as he snarled.  “Watch your tongue dog, or I may just rip it out.”

Pain flared in his throat and Crowley held up a hand, it easing away just enough so he can talk.  “I’ll do what I can to help, but you lot need to not intervene.  She’s upset enough with you already.”

Lucifer stared at him coldly for a few more moments before letting him go, Crowley instantly teleporting back to Luna.

“It’s a love spell,” He said as she stared at him.  “A rather powerful one too.  They’re all practically ready to fall at your feet.”

“I was afraid of that,” Luna sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “It is actually bad enough that they’ll start killing each other eventually right?”

Crowley nodded, adjusting the collar of his shirt.  “Considering Lucifer almost killed me for just mentioning spending time with you, yes.  I won’t go back in there in a hurry.”

Luna flinched.  “Sorry. I didn’t think it would put your life in danger.”

He tried to shrug it off.  “It’s witchcraft darling, if that’s not life threatening, I don’t know what is.  The question now is, how can we fix this before it gets that far?”

“Well, unless you know of another powerful witch, then we’re going to have to find your mother.”  She said, even as he looked less than impressed.  “I don’t like it either, she’s already hit me once today.”

They were cut off by a knock on the door, Sam’s voice coming through. “Luna, can we talk please?  I’m sorry about all this.”

Luna sighed.  “Now is not a good time Sam, maybe in an hour or so.”

“Look, whatever is going on, we just want to help,” Sam said earnestly. “Maybe I can even just look through some books for you?”

Crowley rolled his eyes, but Luna held up her hand, stopping him.

“Could you do that for me Sam?”  Luna asked.  “Do you know of any books that have anything on love spells?”

“Love spells?”  Sam echoed for a moment.  “Maybe, I’ll have to check to be sure, I know there’s at least one potion, but spells…”

“That would be great if you could do that for me Sam,” Luna said softly, making Crowley fold his arms.  “Just…don’t tell the others.  This spell is going to get worse before it gets better.  I don’t…need anyone fighting over me.”

“I’ll see what I can find Luna.”  Sam said and they heard him walk away.

Crowley stared at her, making her roll her eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that,” She said, gathering a few things from her draws.  “You and I both know that Sam is good at this.  If he can find something before the two of us find Rowena, then so be it.”

“And I thought I was the manipulative one,” Crowley said, but he doesn’t miss the slight awkwardness in her look.  “And who said you were coming with me?”

Luna frowned.  “Come on Crowley, you know that it’ll be easier to find her with both of us, not to mention dealing with her and getting her to remove the spell.  Plus,” She glanced at the door.  “I really don’t want to stay here with that lot, especially if things start to go bad.”

“Are you running from the danger or towards it?”

“It’s a rock and hard place and you know it.”

Crowley chuckled and took her arm, the two of them teleporting away from the bunker.

The last place Crowley had ever thought to look was in some small backwater town in outback Australia, and yet, this was where all the small clues he’d scrounged up had led him.  Almost instantly, his nose screwed up at the heat, far too reminiscent of Hell for his liking, and then he stared at the dirt and the dust and sighed.

If someone was pulling his leg, there was going to be hell to pay for this.

It only took a few questions before he found what he was looking for, and he went out into the very emptiness of the area, just making out a small house in the distance. He was quick to make his way over, but he quickly froze, staring at the shotgun pointed at him.

“I know it won’t do much,” Luna said coldly, sitting in a chair on the porch.  “But it will certainly make me feel a lot better. Get lost before I make you.”

Crowley held up his hands.  “Now, now, that’s hardly a way to greet a guest.”

“Guests are invited,” She snarled.  “And you were definitely not invited.  I won’t tell you again.”

“I promise I’m just here to talk,” Crowley said slowly.  “And I’m the only one that knows you’re here bar rumour and specula-”

The gun went off and he staggered back several steps, before he sighed.  “-tion.  Was that really necessary?  That does still sting.”

“And I warned you.”  Luna reloaded.  “I won’t hesitate to shoot you again.”

Crowley pursed his lips.  “Well, I guess I’ll just go and report to Lilith and Azazel where you are then. They were the ones that put me on the trail of this to begin with.”

Luna stared at him for a long moment before she slowly lowered the gun.  “Why wouldn’t you report to them anyway?  Seems odd for a low little demon to disobey his betters, especially when it could get him killed.”

“Low little demon indeed,” He brushed down his suit, annoyed as he looked at the holes now scattered through it.  “I didn’t get this job just for the fun of it darling.  I’ve worked quickly through the ranks and I’d like to keep it that way, which means I need others outside of the ranks of Hell too.”

She took a moment to process this, observing him, and Crowley waited as patiently as he could, trying not to squirm under her gaze, knowing she was seeing a lot more than he would’ve liked.

Finally, she chuckled.  “Alright little demon, what do you want from me?”

“Obligatory question first, even though I know what the answer will be.”  Crowley said.  “Will you come to Hell and help Azazel with his plan?”

“Nope.”

“Right,” Crowley nodded.  “See, normal conversation isn’t so hard is it?”

Luna just raised an eyebrow at him.

“Right,” He said again.  “Second question.  What are you doing in this god forsaken place?”

“Staying out of the way and passing the time,” Luna said simply.  “It might be hot, but I’m less likely to come across demons accidently, until you of course.”

“There’s nothing out here,” Crowley frowned, but shook his head.  “Whatever.  Now that those two are out of the way, would you be willing to work with me?”

“And what would you offer in return?”  Luna waved her hand as he went to speak.  “Don’t feed me bullshit about keeping me hidden, I’ve been doing that well enough since I escaped Hell, and certainly don’t feed me anything about protecting me, I could smoke you where you stand.”

Crowley refrained from smirking.  “I know where the witch is, or at least, rumours of where she was last.”

He got the exact reaction he was looking for, Luna tensing and slowly leaning forward in her chair, suddenly taking this much more seriously.  “Is that so?”

“I found you, didn’t I?”  Crowley asked innocently.  “A witch should be no problem after you.”

“And just what exactly do you know of witches?”  Luna asked.  “Not to mention, how do you know you can find her when I couldn’t?”

“I have my sources,” Crowley said.  “I thought the more pressing question you would’ve asked would be how did I know exactly who you are?”

“I’ll get to that.” Luna stood, and gestures to the front door.  “But you might as well come inside first.  I hate to think of any other demon or angel getting a whiff of me here talking to you.”

He blinked, having not expected this so quickly.  “Just like that?  You also don’t even know what I wish of you.”

She smirked back at him.  “Unless you’d rather stand out in the sunshine Crowley?  I’m sure a heavy sunburn would suit you.”

Crowley stared after her for a long moment before it clicked she knew who he was too, but then he grinned and followed.

The two of them appeared in the warehouse that they’d been at earlier, Luna letting out a steadying breath as Crowley lets her go.

“That’s still mind spinning,” She said.  “No matter how many times you’ve done it.”

“We’ll, there is an easy solution to that,” Crowley said, but then looked around the space.  “So where did dear old mother get too?”

“She ran out that door,” Luna pointed to the side of the room, ignoring his first comment.  “After hitting me with the spell.  Of course, those three were more worried about me than following her as soon as they saw me.”

They moved to the room, to see a small puddle of blood on the floor, Crowley raised an eyebrow.

“I may have shot her,” Luna said a little sheepishly.  “The bullet grazed her leg, or, that’s what I thought.”

“Oh, you won’t find me complaining,” Crowley said rather cheerfully, seeing small spots of blood on the floor.  “And look, we even have a trail to follow.”

Luna smiled and shook her head as she followed after him.  That would definitely never be a relationship she understood, if it could even be called that at this point.  Like most of their odd little group, they always seemed reluctant to kill each other.

“I still can’t believe you let yourself get hit by a spell,” He said casually as they walked together, following the faint trail of blood.  “Another spell.  After everything you’ve been through, I thought you were actively avoiding anything with witches.”

“I was,” Luna said.  “But when the boys practically begged for my help in pinning Rowena down, I could hardly say no, no matter how much I wanted to.  I never thought I’d end up on the end of another one though.  It’s certainly not preferable, and I still can’t decide whether it was better or worse than the first one I got hit with. At least the second was what I wanted.”

“You could just break that one,” He said, watching her out of the corner of his eye.  “And then break this one yourself.”

“And bring an even bigger mess back?  I’m good.”  Luna said. “It took me too long to do what I did in the first place Crowley, I’m hardly going to tear it down just like that. You know that.”

“Shame,” He sighed.  “It’d be good to have you back at your full potential.”

“You mean it would be good to have someone powerful on your side again?” She asked, grinning as he shot her a look.  “Come on Crowley, you can admit it to me, I’m not an idiot.”

Crowley snorted.  “I would never say such a thing.”

“As in you won’t admit it or won’t call me an idiot?”

The blood trail ends and Crowley frowned at her.  “Can we get back on the task at hand please?  I can’t say how long we’ll be left alone out here, especially considering two of those currently in love with you are archangels.”

“You don’t need to remind me,” Luna chuckled.  “But there is one more thing I have to ask.”

Crowley paused and frowned, a trickle of worry rolling down his spine, although he wasn’t entirely sure why.  It had been some time now since she could see things in him, but he currently had nothing to hide, so it was an irrational thought.  “What?”

“Did you ever tell anybody?”  She asked, smiling.  “That wasn’t so painful a question now, was it?”

He stared at her for a moment before he sighed and gave a small chuckle. “No and no.  Considering I helped you…put it away, I hardly want to be facing any fall back for it, and with the attention you’re now receiving, it is an uncomfortable thought that any of them could find out.”

Luna nodded, still smiling.  “I guess we should hurry it along then.  All the angels do have the capability of finding out of course.  In all honesty, I’m actually surprised that they haven’t.”

“They aren’t the brightest.”

She laughed.  “True, but do be careful not to push that line too far.”

Crowley rolled his eyes and let her lead through the closest door to look for anything further on where Rowena could've gone, his eyes following after her.

Worry sat in his stomach, and had he not been a demon, would've made him feel rather ill.  The thought that anyone else could find out about her, could understand or undo what had happened, he wasn't entirely sure he could live with that scenario.  It was irrational, considering the ease of the alliance that they had over the years and into now, but this had been something that was her choice.  He’d hate to see that taken away.

“You wanted immortality.”  Luna growled low, approaching the wounded and terrified witch.  “You wanted to survive the world through the ages, and yet you cursed someone like me to Hell.  I hate to tell you this, but that was the stupidest thing you could’ve ever done.”

The witch tried to straighten out, tried to get her bearings again, but as soon as she met Luna’s black eyed gaze, her courage faltered.  “Please…”

Luna snarled and grabbed the witch by the throat, pinning her to the wall. “Please?  Do I look like I care about your pleas?  Now, where is it?”

She whimpered, holding her tongue.

“Oh, so you were courageous enough to kill me when I was human,” Luna said coldly. “But now that I come back practically as death itself, you are nothing but a snivelling coward.”

“What do you want from me?”  She managed to get out.

“I want it back.”  Luna spat. “What do you think I want?”

“B-but you can’t use it anymore…”

“Do I look like a give a damn?”  Luna snarled. “Your death is going to be slow and painful, that I promise, but you can save yourself a whole lot of torture beforehand by giving me what I want now.”

Tears filled the witch’s eyes.  “Please…please don’t kill me…”

“You don’t get to ask me that.”

The witch’s screams were more than satisfying for Crowley, but he still couldn’t help but frown, not realising that the witch would have anything she could’ve taken from Luna when she cursed her.  It was a development that he hadn’t been expecting.  As far as he’d been concerned, the two of them had been more than honest with each other during all this build up to here.

Now he was questioning everything.

The fight the witch had put up had been a decent one, but it was quickly clear that she was no match for Luna, and it was really the first time that Crowley had seen her use any sort of her power to its full capabilities.  He had little doubt that she was the strongest demon to have ever existed, which was both dangerous and exciting.  He was the only one that knew she still existed.

But now he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d tell him exactly what was going on.

The screaming stopped, turning into wheezing sobs and Crowley watched Luna tuck something quickly into her pocket.

“There, now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”  Luna said coldly.  “You witch’s all think that having magic makes you untouchable, that it gives the right to do as you please without consequences.  Well, guess what, I’m the consequence.”

Luna stepped back, letting the witch slump to the ground, letting a silence fall for a long moment.

“Would you like anything done with her?”  Crowley asked.

“I’m thinking.” Luna said, glancing at him.  “I don’t suppose Hell would take a witch for a while?”

Crowley smirked, knowing where she was going with this.  “I’m sure I can come up with something.”

The witch tried to mumble something that sounded like ‘no’, but they both ignored her.

“Good,” Luna turned away from her.  “I’ll be happy if I never have to see her again.  I’ll leave that to you, of course, right now, I need to get away.”

He didn’t have a chance to say anything, Luna disappearing, and leaving him less than pleased.  The witch continued to sob and for a long moment, Crowley thought.

“What was she after?”  Crowley asked.  “What was it that you took from her?”

Crowley had been less than pleased when the witch had told him what it was, happily locking her away in Hell with an excuse he could no longer remember.  The harder part now, apart from trying not to be angry at Luna, was trying to find out how it gotten that far in the beginning.  He spent a long time thinking of a way to broach the subject, but as it turned out, she approached him first, asking him to look after it.

Which he still wasn’t happy about, especially when she turned herself human.

And yet, here he was, still by her side helping her with whatever she needed.

His thoughts lingered on it all for a long moment, watching as she followed the blood trail, and again, that thought came up and niggled him, causing him to internally scowl at himself and push it away once again.

The blood trail disappeared in one of the back rooms, and they could both tell that Rowena had stopped to either heal or bandage the wound.  They hoped that she wouldn’t have gone far.

“Crowley,” Luna said slowly, a frown coming to her, the thought just occurring to her.  “You don’t think Rowena knows, do you?”

He didn’t like the idea any more than her.  “I don’t see how she would, and if she did, I’d like to think she had something more impressive than a half formed love spell up her sleeve.”

Luna looked about as convinced as he felt, and as much as he wouldn’t argue with her returning to what she was, he also knew that there were a fair few dangers involved with it.

“Right,” Luna sighed and then tugged a small bag out of her pocket, Crowley raising an eyebrow at her, making her give a small smile.  “Don’t give me that.  I do what I have to do survive.”

“That I know,” He said flatly.  “But perhaps you should let me do it?  I’d hate to think that magic could conflict with magic.”

She hesitated a moment, but tossed the bag to him, Crowley catching it easily.  “I guess I picked the right person to help me then.”

Crowley snorted, pulling a pinch of powder out from within.  “I’ll try not to take offence to that.”  He muttered a few words and blew the powder, it shimmering in the air for a moment before gathering and moving outside the building.  “Let’s go get ourselves a witch, shall we?”

Luna sighed.  “Again. We should stop meeting like this.”

He chuckled, leading the way.  “Or you could stop asking, but then I’d really know something was wrong.”

She smiled after him, shaking her head as she followed.

For once, it seemed, fate was on their side, Rowena looking less than impressed as they caught her trying to get out a locked door.

“Well, isn’t this cute?”  She asked, looking between the two of them.  “I suppose a few words had you eating out of her palm?  I’m surprised none of the others she’s come across has joined you.”

“Oh, I’m sure they’d be more than happy to,” Crowley said rather cheerfully. “And since one of them is Lucifer, I’m pretty sure he could settle the score rather well.”

“Is that supposed to scare me?”  Rowena scoffed.  “If you really thought that, if you weren’t terrified of him yourself, you would’ve already brought him along.  Now, what can I do for the two of you?”

“Get rid of the spell,” Luna said before Crowley could say anything else. “Get rid of it and clear everyone that’s been affected.”

Rowena rolled her eyes.  “Oh yes? Just like that?  Sorry dear, the spell is permanent.  You’re just going to have to learn to deal with the consequences.”

There was a dangerous flash in Luna’s eyes, one that reminded Crowley of what she had once been.  “Just like that.  I’m not here to play games Rowena.  I want it gone, and I want it gone now.  They’re all going to kill each other soon enough if it’s not.”

“That would be a pity, I’m sure.”  Rowena said, and they watched closely as she tried to shift a little.  “But I can’t say that none of them wouldn’t deserve it.”

“While I’m sure we can certainly say Lucifer deserves it,” Luna said coldly.  “I can guarantee he would come out on top.  I don’t really feel like losing all my friends today, or any day for that matter, no matter how much they are currently convinced they love me."

Rowena tutted and looked at Crowley.  "Doesn't it just break your heart to hear her say that?”

Crowley raised an eyebrow.  "And why should it?  I am not effected by your spell, so whatever else is laced in there means little to me."

There was something about Rowena's look that neither of them liked.

A charming smile crossed her lips.  "Is that so?  Well isn't that interesting.  I'm sure then that you'll feel no compulsion at all to jump in to save her when things go wrong then?"

Crowley and Luna frowned at this.  "What do you mean go wrong?"

"Well you were correct in your assumption that they will get violent," Rowena said innocently.  "And more than one of them will probably die, but then the real kicker of the spell? They'll turn on you.  If one of them can't have you, none of them will."

"No," Crowley's voice was quiet.  "Remove the spell now mother."

"I have more important things to be doing I'm afraid.”  She said sweetly.  "So as much as I'd love to stay and chat, I really must be going."

No!"  Luna took a step forward, but Rowena was quicker, launching her backwards with a wave of her hand, her body slumping.

Crowley found himself powerless and immobilised as Rowena turned to him.

“Oh, I'm sorry Fergus," She patted his check as she walked over. "But I would tell her before it's too late.”

Rowena left, anger curling in Crowley's blood, even as Luna groaned, sitting up, giving a small shake of her head, before she focused back on the room, seeing what had happened.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I hate witches?"  She grumbled as she limped over to him, breaking him free from the spell.

"Many a time, and the feeling is mutual."  Crowley growled, glad to be free of that quickly.  "Our chances of finding her now are slim."

Luna scowled.  "Almost makes me wish...” She shook her head.  "Doesn't matter.  We better get back before they do anything.”

Crowley pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to her.  "Your head is bleeding."

"Oh, thank you.” She dabbed at the wound.  "I'm just glad I wasn't unconscious long. That could've been disastrous.”

He nodded, but he was still watching her, something about Rowena's comment getting to him, although he didn't understand exactly why, or more, he didn’t want to understand why.

Luna sighed, the blood not easing.  "I'm dreading walking into the bunker like this.  It's going to be disastrous, especially when they are all an edge with each other as it is."

Crowley stepped forward and applied a little more pressured to the wound. "Have you ever thought what it would be like to go back?"

She met his gaze with a sad smile.  “Many times, but you know as well as I do...”

His expression is grim, his jaw set.  He knew, he knew what she was trying to do, but he still had a feeling that it would never work.  Spell or no spell, demon was ingrained in her blood, and she was always going to be one now, no matter what the spell did.

Luna could read him still, even after all this time, and she knew he still wasn’t happy about it, no matter what she said to change his mind.  If she didn’t stick with what she felt was right though, then she was going to be miserable, and if she could get things back in control...

Luna stared at the pile of ingredients in front of her, going over her mental list again to ensure she definitely had everything.  Crowley was watching her, still looking unconvinced, but he remained silent, waited for her to talk to him.

Finally, she let out a slow breath and met his gaze.  “Is everything in place?”

Crowley nodded.  “Set and ready to go as soon as this is done.”

She hummed absently.  “Good, and the Winchester’s don’t suspect anything?”

“Darling, if they did, they would be on to you already.”

She gave a nervous smile.  “Relax Crowley, it’ll work out fine.”

He snorted.  “I think it’s you who needs to relax.  If you really want to go through with this, then do it now, before you have time to convince yourself otherwise.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to change?”

“I don’t,” He admitted.  “But this is your choice, not mine, just as all of this has been your choice.”

Luna flinched and began preparing the ingredients.  “Not all of it.”

“I meant between us Luna.”

She smiled at him, a sadness in her gaze that he'd never seen before.  "Whatever happens, I do want to thank you.  You've given me a freedom back that I haven't had in a long time."

Crowley does his best to keep his expression passive.  "Don't get to sentimental on me darling, I might just change my mind about helping.  You are a damned good demon after all,"

"I wouldn't say that," Luna shook her head slightly. "More just...stuck in the middle I guess."

"Nothing is black and white Luna."

"I know,” Luna said softly.  "We both know.  Now, let's get this over and done with."

The spell had worked, almost too well.  After everything she'd been through, she was basically human again, but Crowley knew, as did Luna, that the spell was hanging on by a thread.

Still, the plan went on.  She came across the Winchester's on a ‘hunt’, one carefully organised by Crowley to gain their trust.  Luna was good, almost too good, but they eventually let her in.

Crowley didn't like it then, and he liked it even less now.  She deserved better than this.

Luna comes out of her bathroom, the two of them safely back in the bunker. Things were quiet, but right now they couldn't sense any harm being done, so Luna focused on cleaning up.

"How's that?"  She asked, angling her head for him.

"Very normal," Crowley said.  “But you know that's not going to stop the angels from sensing your pain."

"I know, but I can't do much about that." She rolled her eyes at his look. "It's not that simple Crowley.  The destruction it could cause alone-"

"Could potentially level the bunker.  I have always said the place needs redecorating."

Luna laughed softly, shaking her head. "Come on, let’s go make sure everyone is okay."

Crowley caught her arm as she went to walk past and he hesitated for a moment, a bad feeling sitting in his stomach, but as she met his gaze, surprised, he faltered.

“Just…be careful.”  He said quietly.  “We don’t know how bad this has gotten.  If you were still…you know…I wouldn’t have to…to…”

Luna smiled and patted his hand.  “Come on Crowley, we’ll be alright.  It’s not like I want to go out there, I’d rather not have others obsessing over me, but right now, we’re the only ones that know what is really happening, meaning we’re the only ones that are going to be able to fix it.”

Crowley let out a slow breath and forced himself to let go of her arm, watching her smile again and head to the door.  His bad feeling grew, but he pushed it down.  She was right, and he had to trust her as he always did.

The bunker was far too quiet for either of their liking as they went out into the hall, and Crowley watched her fingers itch a little towards her gun. Something wasn’t right.

Whatever had happened while they were away, was nothing good.

Something was burning, and Luna instead pulled out her angel blade, Crowley following suit.  Both of them knew that smell, having used holy oil multiple times over the years, and it only set them more on edge wondering what had happened for that to come out.

The first thing they saw were Sam and Dean tied to chairs, both trying to get themselves free, mouths gagged shut.  The next was Gabriel, Castiel and Balthazar trapped within a circle of burning holy oil.

Neither of them got a chance to react to what was going on, Crowley suddenly launched away from Luna’s side, leaving just her facing off against Lucifer.

“That was uncalled for,” Luna said, a note of coldness in her voice, glaring at Lucifer.  “Crowley has been helping me, and by extension, helping you.”

Lucifer shrugged, unfazed, holding her gaze.  “He’s still just a demon, by rights, I should just kill him now and be done with it.”

“Really?”  Luna asked, keeping Crowley in the corner of her gaze as he slowly gets up, glaring darkly at Lucifer.  “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.  As much as none of you here seem to think otherwise, I do prefer him very much alive.”

He scoffed.  “And what hold does he have over you to have that reaction?  You are a hunter, by right-”

“I should be killing you too,” Luna said.  “As the supposed epitome of evil as you are, but life is just a little more…complicated than that, isn’t it Luci?”

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed on Luna and she could see him pause, an implication in her tone that he didn’t quite understand.  A tense air began to fill the room, and all eyes were on Lucifer and Luna.

“Leave Luna alone Lucifer,” Gabriel said, trying to edge himself as close as possible to the circle of flames.  “She’s the victim in all this, and needs us to help, not hinder.”

“I’m not the one that’s armed,” Lucifer said, gesturing lazily to the angel blade in her hand.  “So clearly she was expecting some sort of fight.”

Luna huffed and threw down the blade, it clattering to the floor.  “No, actually, it was a precaution.  Did you have something you wanted to say?”

Lucifer looked from her to the blade and back, even as all the others in the room grew more agitated, included Crowley, who was now back on his feet and trying to edge forward a little without gaining Lucifer’s attention.

“You think it’s a spell,” Lucifer said slowly.  “Had little Sammy there looking things up.  You could’ve easily just asked us to check.  If there was, we could’ve gotten rid of it.”

“It is a spell,” Luna said.  “And I got Sam to look because he’s been the most sensible about all this, no matter what you all think.”

“But you still didn’t let him near you again.”

“No, I didn’t,” Luna folded her arms.  “Because the less contact you all had with me while this spell is on me, the better.  Of course, after finding Rowena, I realised that contact or not wasn’t going to make a damn bit of difference, so that’s why we came back to check.”

“And-”

“Crowley is unaffected,” Luna cut him off as his gaze went to move to Crowley, getting his attention back on her.  “That’s why he has been able to properly help.  Now, I’m only going to ask you this once, Lucifer, please let everyone go, so we can sort this out in a civilised manner.”

Lucifer looked unimpressed, his eyes narrowing on her.  “And just how is the dog not affected?  He is just like the rest of us.  This is assuming I even believe you about the spell.”

“I don’t have answer for that,” Luna said.  “It could have been the result of the incompleteness of the spell, or it could just be that it doesn’t work on demons.  I’m sure there are other reasons, but you are avoiding my request.”

He stood and approached slowly, perhaps a little cautiously, her previous words still in the back of his mind.  “Yes, because none of these idiots deserve you.  I’m ensuring that we won’t be interrupted.”

“Crowley, stay there,” Luna said, holding Lucifer’s gaze as Crowley tried to inch further again.  “I’m alright. He is not going to do anything to me.”

“Forgive me if I don’t exactly believe you.” Crowley muttered under his breath, but against his better judgement, he didn’t continue forward.

Lucifer stood over her.  “And how can you be so sure of that?”

“Well, you can certainly try,” Luna said lightly.  “But I assure you, you will be the one regretting it.”

Crowley watched as Lucifer seemed to consider how to take that statement. Luna had never been specific on how well she knew him, but Crowley knew that nothing good had happened between them.  She had been furious when Sam and Dean allowed him to stay in the bunker, and if things hadn’t been as bad as they were outside of this, he knew she would've left.

Now he was wishing she had anyway.

Lucifer tilted his head at her.  "And just what do you think you can do to me?"

There were multiple shouts at once but Luna was already moving, a second angel blade in her hand as she dodged out of the way of Lucifer’s blow, and swing back in, the blade catching him under the ribs.

It wasn't enough to kill him, but it was enough steal his breath and power for a moment, although the holy oil and ties did not disappear.

The lights in the bunker began flickering, Gabriel building up his power to try and get out.  "Leave her alone!"

Luna's gaze doesn't leave Lucifer, even as she slowly picked up her first blade, watching him pull out the first.  “I’ve been waiting a long time to do that.”

Lucifer glared at her, his eyes red.  "Is that so?  Well I'm sad to tell you that it won't have much effect on me except to piss me off.”

"Then you'll get to feel just a fraction of what I've felt." She snarled.  "Shall I do it again?”

His eyes flashed with power.  "If this is love, then I hate it.”

“You haven't even been close to human, Luci, so you'll never have an understanding of what real love is.”  She spun the blade in her hand.  “I can arrange it though, if you like.  Now that would make me feel better.”

Crowley found himself suddenly frozen, staring at Luna, a lot of things suddenly clicking into place.

Lucifer approached slowly, her blade in his hand.  “And what would you do with angel grace when you got it? You’re nothing but a little human, you have no use for such a thing, even if I did let you do such a thing.”

Crowley loved her.  That was why the spell didn’t work on him.  That was why his worry had been growing for her.  He loved her and he hated that he had never realised it.

“I’d keep it away from you for starters.”  Luna stood her ground.  “Then I’d probably enjoy watching you squirm for as long as possible.  You wouldn’t be able to cope with being human Luci, and that would just make me all the more amused knowing that I was the one that got to do it.”

He had loved her for a long time, long before she’d made herself human again, and certainly long before he’d ever experienced human emotions again. Being a demon had just dampened the emotion, hadn’t allowed him to understand it properly.  He had always wondered why he was so against her being human again, or why the two of them just seemed to fit into such an easy rhythm with each other.  He couldn’t believe that he’d never realised this before.

But then, he thought, he always chased those thoughts away that got even close to this admission.

Lucifer’s expression was a cold snarl.  “You enjoy playing with fire too much, especially for a hunter.  I think it’s time you were taught a lesson or two.”

Crowley loved her and if he let this go on, he was about to watch her die.

Luna smirked.  “And just what makes you think that I’m an ordinary hunter?”

Lucifer took another step and suddenly Crowley was between them.  He didn’t have any idea what he was going to do about it, but this had to stop now.

“Crowley, don’t.”  Luna’s voice was quiet, just for him, tension sitting far too heavily in the air.

There was something in her voice, something that Crowley had only just realised that he used himself.  Luna felt the same for him and it just made him more resolute to not move.

“This needs to stop.”  Crowley said, keeping himself calm, holding Lucifer’s gaze.  “We need everyone, everyone, for what is coming, and going after Luna is madness, no matter how you think you feel.”

“Crowley, please get out of the way.”  Luna took his arm and Crowley’s heart raced, feeling what she felt. “Please.”

“I can’t do that Luna,” Crowley said back, still not moving, wondering whether she had ever seen this in him when she’d still been a demon.  “Now, we can get this spell sorted, we just need more time.”

Lucifer’s eyes flashed and in a movement that none of them saw, everything came crashing down.

Crowley was thrown back several feet by Luna, that old feeling of her power rippling across his skin for a moment, and he had just enough time to catch himself and see what had happened.

It didn’t have time to register before Gabriel, Castiel and Balthazar suddenly broke free from the holy oil and rushed at Lucifer, brilliant flashes of light filling the bunker, Sam and Dean knocked backwards in their chairs as the angels fought.  Anger and rage crackled through the air, fuelling the chaos, and Sam and Dean struggled to break free to try and join the fray.

Crowley ignored all that, he caught Luna before she could fall, a shuddering gasp leaving her, the angel blade sticking out from her chest.  His chest ached, knowing she didn’t have long, but it took him a moment to find his voice.

“What did you do that for love?”  Crowley asked, fighting hard to not let his voice break.  “That was incredibly foolish.”

Luna does her best to smile through the pain, meeting his gaze.  “For you, it would’ve been instant death, for me…well…”  She fought to draw in another breath.  “I’m sorry Crowley.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for love,” Crowley gripped the blade and as carefully as he could, he pulled it free, blood blossoming quickly on her chest. “I’m the one that should be sorry. There’s a lot of things that I should have done a long time ago.”

She took his hand, and he hated that her grip is so weak.  “You were right, you know?  I should’ve never have…have…”

Crowley shook his head.  “No, I should’ve made you take the risk, that’s what I should’ve done, then we wouldn’t be in this mess.  My mother could’ve never used that spell and…and…”

Luna gave a weak chuckle, despite herself.  “Then…you would’ve…never…known…”

She knew.  Of course she knew.  Luna always knew.  She knew him better than he knew himself.

He licked his lips, watching her getting weaker by the moment, his heart breaking, and he knew that there was only one thing that he was going to be able to do, consequences be damned anymore, and it honestly couldn’t go more wrong than this.

Crowley refused to lose her.

From his jacket pocket, he pulled a vial, angel grace glittering within, and before Luna can protest, can grab his hand to try and stop him, he pulled the topper off.

Lunvariel was less than impressed when she found herself on Earth, looking around with a slight air of distaste at all the nature surrounding her, before her gaze moved to Chuck, standing a little distance away, watching her.

“What?” She asked.  “I’m sure whatever this is, you could’ve talked to me about in Heaven.”

Chuck was looking at her disappointedly.  “No, I couldn’t.  It would cause all sorts of problems if I did, and after what Lucifer had done, and what I had to do to him, no one needs anymore of that turmoil.”

She raised an eyebrow at him.  “And what exactly am I have meant to have done to deserve that accusation?  I helped you put Lucifer away.”

“Perhaps,” Chuck said slowly, breaking away from her gaze to look around.  “But clearly you have another plan in mind for him. Being in Hell would make it easier to handle.”

“A bigger plan?”  She echoed. “Who has been filling you with that nonsense?  The only plan I have is to keep doing my duty for you.”

“And what is your duty Lunvariel?”

She was starting to get frustrated.  “I look out for Lucifer, Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, as always, as you created me for. I ensure they stay in line, and I put them away when they don’t.”

Chuck met her gaze slowly, and she could see the doubt clearly in his eyes.  “You don’t love humanity.”

“I love it enough,” Lunvariel said flatly.  “From a distance.  Being here is certainly not a preference of mine, but that does not mean I do not care. We all have places that we’re comfortable.”

She was worried, having never seen Chuck like this before, and while she knew Lucifer’s rebellion had taken its toll, she never thought it would have him question her loyalty.  He’d brought her here for a reason, and now she was wondering exactly what it was.

“I’m sorry Lunvariel,” Chuck said softly.  “I do not wish to do this, but if you cannot be honest with me, I cannot take that risk. You will stay here.”

This took her back.  “Stay here? What are you talking about?  I have always been honest with you.  What is it that I am meant to have-”

Her words are strangled in her throat as pain erupted from her back, sending her crashing to her knees, tears filling her eyes.  Her wings burned behind her, burning feathers floating through the air, and she tries to look at him, her chest aching through more than the pain.

Chuck sighed heavily.  “I have no pleasure in doing this.  I do not want to do this.  I have no choice but to do this.  I am sorry.”

“Sorry,” She gasped through the pain, her voice breaking.  “I have done nothing wrong!”

“I cannot trust you saying that,” He said sadly.  “And after all that Lucifer said, I cannot leave you in Heaven.  This is the fairest way to deal with it.”

“What?” Lunvariel tried to get back to her feet, but it was still all too much, she had no strength left in her body. “You’re still going to take Lucifer’s word over mine?  After all he’s done?”

“I am sorry.” Chuck turned away from her.  “If that is worth anything at all.”

Lunvariel watched him disappear, holding herself as tight as she could, tears rolling down her cheeks, anger curling in her stomach.  She was alone and she was human.

The reaction to her grace was immediate, her body arching, and through the chaos of the angels fighting and the lights flickering, the bunkers alarms started blaring, the room blinking between red, white and black.

Crowley backed away as best he could, shielding his eyes, as Luna seemed to burn brightly, surrounded by fire and ash and smoke.  The crackle of power through the air was unmistakable, and soon the lights disappeared entirely, flickering them all into complete darkness momentarily.

Confusion filled the room quickly, but through squinting eyes, Crowley could see Luna moving, could see her kneeling on the floor, large wings forming behind her, heavily damaged, very little of them left, and black smoke seemed to trail from her hands.

Slowly, she rose, her chest rising and falling in deep breathes, and with a sudden move, throwing out her hands, everything snapped back to normal.  Lucifer, Gabriel, Castiel and Balthazar were thrown to opposite corners of the room, Sam, Dean and Crowley all back on their feet.  The lights flickered on and the alarms stopped.

There was a moment of complete and utter silence.

“Lunvariel.” Gabriel dared to speak first.  “You’re alive?”

Luna’s eyes opened slowly, burning a vivid and bright blue ringed with black.

“Lunvariel’s a myth,” Balthazar squirmed against her hold.  “And I would greatly appreciate it if you let me go.”

“No.”  She said, all too calmly, her gaze turning to Lucifer, who was watching her, frozen.  “Not until I deal with him.”

Lucifer seemed to recover a little at this, his lip curling in a snarl.  “You want to deal with me, little Lunvariel?  Now that is adorable.  You never had any chance of-”

His words were strangled in his throat, and he struggled as she turned her gaze away, looking momentarily at the trails of smoke still curling around her hands.  Slowly, she flexes her fingers and it eases away, the black in her eyes slipping back to white, although her eyes were no less blue.

“Chance of what, exactly?” She asked, her voice cool and calm. “Because last I checked, keeping you idiots out of trouble was my job.  With Uriel dead and Michael still in the cage, that only leaves me with the two of you to deal with, and seeing as I have no problem with Gabriel…” She looked at him again, a hardness in her gaze.  “And seeing as what you did to me, I think I have every right to do as I please.”

“Hang on a second,” Dean said quickly.  “I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but we need him still, but not only that, what the hell is going on?”

Luna titled her head a little.  “I thought that would be obvious?  I’m sorry to have lied to you boys for so long, but, well, I’m not exactly human. I have been appearing as such to…well, you don’t really need to know that.  Let’s just say I have had a grudge for a very long time.  Crowley allowed me to clear one off of my list, a certain witch who cursed me to Hell, but now I finally have the opportunity to do the other.”

“Angels can’t be cursed to Hell,” Sam said, still looking just as confused as Dean.  “And they certainly can’t be…be…whatever you are.”

She smirked slowly and her gaze returned to Lucifer.  “I guess rules change.”

There was an audible cracking sound as Lucifer was pressed hard into the wall, cracks starting to appear, and despite his struggling, it was doing little against her new found power.

“Get me cursed to Earth, Luci,” Luna tutted.  “Surely you can’t have thought I wouldn’t have held onto that?”

Crowley held Sam and Dean back as they went to step forward, shaking his head.  He knew, better than anyone here, that there was no stopping Luna when she had her mind set on something.  He watched in sheer awe of her, completely out of ideas on what to do next, except to let her do what she had to do.

“Luna, you can’t,” Castiel said, also trapped by her power still.  “We need him!”

“Oh, I know,” She said, the calm tone still in her voice.  “I’m just teaching a lesson and waiting.”

Lucifer was gritting his teeth against the pain, trembling as he tried to fight back but couldn’t. Cracks were starting to appear along his skin, his grace shining through, and they all thought she was about to rip him apart, none of them having little doubt that she could.

The bunkers lights flickered again and then Chuck was standing there.

“Lunvariel, stop.” He said firmly, eyes alight as she glanced back at him.  “I’m here. We can talk.”

The power in the room dissipated and Lucifer dropped with a groan, Gabriel, Castiel and Balthazar stumbling forward as they were let go as well.

“You could’ve stopped this at any time.”  Luna said with a lazy shrug.  “You let it get this far.  In all honesty, I’m actually surprised you stopped.”

Chuck’s jaw clenched. “You wanted to talk, so let’s talk, but not here.”

With that, the two of them disappeared from the room.

“What just happened?” Dean asked.

Castiel grunted, brushing his clothes down, looking a little worse for wear.  “She’s gone to speak to God.  I guess I should’ve known by now that we shouldn’t have believed him when he told us she was dead.”

Sam and Dean stared at him for a long moment before they register what he said.  “Wait, Chuck is God?”

“Why was I in love with Luna?”  Gabriel asked, screwing up his nose slightly, rubbing his head.  “That’s…what all that had been about right?”

“If you listened, you would all have realised that she’d been hit with a spell.” Crowley said, feeling like a long explanation was coming and not wanting to be a part of it. “Naturally, it broke when she revealed herself.”

“Why were you carrying around her grace?”  Castiel asked.

Crowley shrugged and waved his hand at them as he turned away.  “None of your business Feathers.”

With that, he vanished from the bunker, leaving them to sort themselves out, but he doesn’t return to Hell.  Crowley didn’t care what discussion she was having with Chuck, or who Chuck even was, he needed to see her.  He needed to know she was truly alright.

He appeared close enough that he was out of sight, but could still hear the conversation being had. In the middle of nowhere, again, it seemed, although at least this time was in the woods, the two of them overlooking a large valley.

“You took an awful risk doing that,” Chuck said, a little sternly.  “Do you even know how much could’ve gone wrong?”

Luna raised an eyebrow at him.  “I didn’t take any risk.  That was Crowley’s choice to not let me die.”

“You and I both know you could’ve stopped it.”  He said. “Even after all this time, you still haven’t learnt anything, have you?”

She laughed, shaking her head.  “You talk of me not learning things, and yet, you are still hiding from your sister, still hiding from the responsibilities of Heaven, and still acting as if I was in the wrong all that time ago.”

“You were.”

“I wasn’t.”  A harsh note entered her voice.  “And you bloody well know it.  You just believed Lucifer’s bullshit.  Even now, you still hurried to his side.”

“If Lucifer wasn’t wrong, you wouldn’t have fallen in love with a demon.”  Chuck said, his voice raising a little.  “You would’ve gone for a human, or you would’ve lived out your days in peace.”

“Is that what you wanted me to do?”  Luna laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that I wasn’t supposed to get captured by a witch, have my remaining grace stolen, and then have that witch curse me to Hell.  Then what?  You really think that I was going to just sit back and let myself be tortured for eternity? You really think that I wasn’t going to take opportunities door as soon as it was knocked on?”

Chuck shook his head. “You’re missing the point.”

“No, you’re missing the point.”  She said coldly.  “Despite what I was doing for you, you always underestimated me.”

“And now look at you,” He looked her over.  “Practically an abomination, certainly not one I created.”

“No, one I created,” Luna said lightly, letting her eyes flash to black for a moment.  “Sitting firmly in the middle, where I belong, because you seemed content to put me there in the first place.”

Chuck huffed and took several steps away, frowning and muttering a few curses under his breath, before he looked back at her, a sadness in his gaze.  “For what it’s worth, Lunvariel, I am sorry.”

She shrugged.  “You tried that already.  For what it’s worth, Lunvariel died a long time ago.  It’s Luna now, and I hope you don’t forget it.”

He went to say something else, watching her for a moment, but thinks better of it, shaking his head and vanishing.

For a long moment, quiet sat in the air.

“You can come out now Crowley.”  Luna said quietly, smiling as he appeared.  “I guess it makes things a bit clearer for you now?”

“Not in the slightest,” He said with a small smile and looking her over.  “Are you alright love?”

She nodded slowly, seeming to think about, and held out her hand for him.  “I will be once you come here.”

Crowley took her hand, the two of them standing there together, watching the quiet of the world, unsure of what was to happen next.

“Thank you,” Luna said finally.  “For taking that risk.”

“I was hardly going to have you die on me now, was I?”  He asked quietly, giving her hand a squeeze.  “After all that, just sending you into the nothingness?  I don’t think so.”

She laughed and shook her head.  “It’s…still not what I was expecting.”

“No,” He admitted. “But we can sort that out.  We seem to be good at doing that together. Sorting things out.”

Luna nodded, casting him a look.  “We are. To think I shot you when we first met.”

Crowley chuckled.  “I clearly didn’t take it personally.”

Again, an easy silence fell, the two of them looking out over the valley together.

“Crowley?”

“Yes Luna?”

“I love you, I hope you know that, no matter what it really means for two people like us, and no matter what others will think it means.”

Crowley smiled.  “I love you too, and I think it means exactly what we want it to mean, others be damned.”

Luna beamed and gave his hand a squeeze.  “So if I asked you to still help me hunt your mother down…”

“Oh, now that would be my pleasure love,” Crowley chuckled.  “Although, we might actually have to thank her for this one.”

She laughed and nodded. “That we might, although, still being a witch, I don’t think I’ll mean it too much.”

They laughed together and, still hand in hand, disappeared to go and find Rowena.

[idreamofplaid]

Christmas Past

Square Filled: First Time

Characters: Dean x Reader; Bobby; Sam and Rowena mentioned

Rating: Mature

Summary: Dean has reached a point in his life where something has to change.

Word Count: 2254

Created for @spnkinkbingo

A/N: This is Part 1 of a four part series. 

The bunker was so empty Dean could hear his footsteps echoing through the halls. Cas and Jack were on a hunt in Oregon, and Sam was spending the night at Rowena’s. Dean hadn’t seen that one coming. Sure, she was hot; she was powerful. She made a pretty good match for Sam really, but there was a time they had hunted witches. Witches had been the enemy, and now his brother was getting cozy with one. 

That left Dean alone with his bourbon on Christmas Eve. He poured himself another glass and put the bottle down next to the initials he and Sam had carved into one of the library tables. That briefly made Dean smile before he realized that tonight was just a preview of what the rest of his life would be like if nothing changed. With Sam gone and pursuing a life, it left Dean to face the kind of demons that didn’t have black eyes. He tossed back the contents of his glass and poured another. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dean, wake up.” Dean rubbed his eyes and lifted his head from the smooth surface of the table. As his vision came into focus, he saw a familiar beat up baseball cap. 

Dean’s eyes widened. “Bobby?” 

“Of course it’s me. Who were you expecting? Angelina Jolie? Nevermind.” Bobby clapped Dean on the shoulder. “Get up. We’ve got things to talk about.”

Dean sat up and looked at the bottle of whiskey he’d been drinking. It was way too close to empty. He was seeing things. That’s what this was, some kind of liquor induced hallucination. Then he heard the chair drag across the floor when Bobby pulled it out to sit down. His imagination usually wasn’t this vivid. “B...Bobby? Why are you here? Are you some kind of ghost?”

Bobby took Dean’s empty glass and poured one for himself. “Yeah, I’m a ghost. Idjit.” How do you think I got here?” He looked around, taking in all the books, weapons, and relics. “This is some kinda set up you got here. You and Sam have a hunter headquarters now?”

Dean squinted his eyes, and his forehead wrinkled. “Not exactly.” He rubbed his eyes again. Bobby was still there. “You’re a ghost that drinks whiskey?”

Bobby took another sip. “Gotta have some kinda fun. I mean my heaven’s alright, I guess. But it’s kinda boring. I don’t feel useful anymore.”

“Is that why you’re here? To be useful?” Dean chewed at his bottom lip, not at all sure of the situation and feeling a little bit groggy. “Is it a case? Is the world ending again?”

Bobby finished his drink and set down his glass. “The world’s always ending with you boys.” He sat back and ran his fingers over his beard. “Nope the situation I’m here about is something of a more personal nature.”

“Well, what is it, Bobby. Tell me. Is it Sam?” Dean leaned forward in his seat ready to jump into action. “Has that witch done something to him?”

“That right there’s the problem, Dean. You can spend your whole life devoted to Sam, do anything for him, but you never think of you.”

“What are you talking about?”  Dean had tightened his lips in a pout. “And give me my glass back.” He snatched the tumbler from across the table, and picked up the now empty liquor bottle. Dean put it back down with a sigh and a roll of his eyes. 

“Your life is completely off the rails, Dean. And I’m not talking about monsters, angels, or the Apocalypse.” Bobby stood. I’m talkin’ about the way you don’t let people in. That’s gotta change, and it’s gotta change soon.”

Dean leaned back in his chair and shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know what you mean. My life’s fine. I’ve got everything I need right here.”

Bobby’s eyes were laser focused on Dean. “You’re full of crap. Now get up. We’re takin’ a trip.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The block walls and book laden shelves of the bunker had disappeared and been replaced by a street lined with black lantern street lamps and a soft snow falling from the sky. Dean followed Bobby down the street, his feet crunching in the snow as they walked. When they got to the building at the end of the street, Bobby stopped. A warm golden light was pouring out of the windows. Inside, Dean could see tables, large comfy looking upholstered chairs, and a big fireplace on one wall. 

It all looked so familiar to him. A young woman walked from behind the counter carrying a cup of coffee. Her hair hung down her back and her smile was gentle and strong like the first notes of a rock ballad. Dean moved toward the door like he was in a trance. He looked up. The sign over the door read The Coffee Nook. His eyes went back to her face, and he swallowed hard.

Bobby walked up behind him; he was only inches away from Dean’s shoulder. “Do you remember her?”

Dean’s voice had dropped to just above a whisper. “Remember her? I couldn’t forget her.” 

Bobby opened the door and motioned Dean inside. She was walking straight toward him. He could smell her perfume as she got closer. “Y/N.” She walked past without acknowledging him, and Dean’s eyes followed her. 

She put the cup of coffee down on the table in front of a guy sitting at one of the tables by the large brick fireplace. He turned, and Dean was looking at himself the way he looked before years of strain had deepened the crinkles around his eyes. It was the way he looked when Sam was at Stanford and he’d been left with loose ends that Y/N had helped hold together.

Dean walked closer so he could hear what they were saying. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. “You want to hang out while I close up?”

Younger Dean took a sip from the oversized coffee house mug that he would have described as douchey if she hadn’t given it to him. “Sure, sweetheart. I’ve got time.” She ran her fingers over his hand that was on the table before she went back to the counter and started wiping it down.

Both Deans watched her bend over the tables to clear them and the sway of her hips as she cleaned them. Present day Dean felt his heart tighten in his chest. He looked around the room. There was a garland strung along the mantel, and a small Christmas tree decorated one end of the bar near the place where customers picked up their orders. It was that night.

She finished up her closing routine and locked the front door. The coffee shop was dark now except for the strings of colored lights around the windows. She took off her apron and ran her hands through her hair. Solo hunter Dean stood and walked to her. He was still wearing Dad’s leather jacket then. He put his arms around her waist. “You want to catch a late movie?”

She tilted her head and smiled that earth stopping smile Dean still remembered. “I thought we might stay in tonight.” She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek then took his hand and led him toward the stairs that went up to her apartment over the shop. 

Bobby’s voice cut through the scene Dean was watching. “What are you waiting for, boy? Go after them.”

Dean shook his head. “Bobby I can’t. They’re...we’re…”

Bobby got silent; it was a heavy silence. “There’s some things you’ve forgotten, Dean, and it’s time you remember.” He nodded his head in the direction of the stairs. “Go on now. I’ll wait here until you’re done.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

15 years ago

Dean’s heart was beating fast as he followed Y/N up the stairs. He felt like almost like he did before he had sex for the first time, only not freaked out worrying that it would be over too soon because he didn’t know what he was doing. Dean Winchester was famous for knowing what he was doing. Only now he didn’t, because he was feeling something that was entirely new to him.

Her home was a studio space with a living area, kitchen, and the bed together in one large room. The bathroom was the only thing that was hidden from view. It was the bed that had Dean’s full attention. His cock started to grow and harden at the thought of what was going to happen soon in that bed. Y/N headed directly for it. She sat down on the edge and patted the mattress beside her with a smile. 

Dean took off the oversized leather jacket and let it fall to the floor. He found his place next to her and took her cheek in his hand. “Are you sure you want to do this?” 

She put her hand over his. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.” Her lips touched his in a slow gentle kiss. When they parted, Dean opened his eyes. The way she was looking at him made it hard to breathe. “Do you know why I’m so sure?”

Dean licked his lips and shook his head. “I don’t know.”

She kissed the corner of his mouth. “Because you didn’t assume I would. You didn’t think that just because you’re so handsome, you could smile at me or charm me straight into bed. You waited; you wanted to get to know me.” 

Dean let his hand slide into her hair. Now probably wasn’t the time to mention just how many times he had done that smile and flirt thing, but this was different. “I do want to know you, Y/N.” That admission scared the hell out of him. There was no room in his life for feeling like that. 

She lay back on the bed and pulled him down with her. “I want to know you too, Dean.” 

Dean took his time with her. He kissed every part of her. Her pleasure was more important to him than his own. He was lost in the taste of her on his tongue, drowning in everything she was making him feel. Dean held her while he made love to her; he looked into her eyes, and let every defense he had down. He threw aside the barriers he’d been taught he had to have. He gave himself to her that night, and that was something he had never done before. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Present 

Dean came slowly down the stairs back into the coffee shop. Tears had gathered in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. “Bobby, I need to get out of here.”

Bobby put his hand on Dean’s arm. There was a bright flash of light, and they were back in the bunker. Dean walked wordlessly to one of the leather chairs by the bookcase and sat down. He rested his hand on his fist while he grappled with what he had just seen and heard, everything it made him remember.

Bobby broke the silence. “You’ve lost a part of yourself, Dean.”

Dean turned on the man who had been his father after John died, and in many ways was his father while John was still alive. “You think I don’t know that. This job is nothing but giving up any chance of having a life, being normal, having any kind of happiness. It leaves you all twisted up inside.” Dean walked to the table, braced his hands on the back of a chair, and leaned forward. His tone was calmer now, almost defeated. “Makes you wonder if it’s worth it.”

Bobby looked at the man before him that he knew he’d had a hand in raising, and he knew he was here now because that raising still wasn’t done. “Remember what you wanted once, Dean. It’s not too late to have it. Not yet.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean woke up the next morning in his bed. He was in a t-shirt and sweats, but he didn’t recall putting them on. The last thing he remembered from the night before was the look on Bobby’s face when he’d uttered those ominous words, Not yet. Dean sat up and clicked on the bedside lamp. His room looked the same. A couple of his recently worn flannels hung on hooks near the door, and a half eaten piece of pie was on his desk. 

He lifted his hand and looked at it not really sure what he expected to see. Did he think he was a ghost like the “Bobby” who had visited him the night before? How the hell did the ghost or whatever it was know about Y/N? He’d never told Bobby about her. He’d never told anyone. Dean had enjoyed the best four months of his life, then his father disappeared and everything changed. 

Y/N. Her memory sat in the back of his heart for all these years. He still thought about her, but that wasn’t anything he’d shared with anyone either. Not even Sam knew anything about her. She was Dean’s precious secret. He still dreamed about her too. That had to be what last night was, just another dream about the woman and the life he’d lost. 

Dean got up and walked to the sink. He splashed water on his face and looked at his reflection in the mirror. Bobby’s words from the night before rattled through his mind. Remember what you wanted.

Everything Forever: @gambitwinchester @princessmisery666 @onethirstyunicorn @peridottea91 @logical-princey @emilyshurley @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @fangirlxwritesx67 @waywardbaby @tumbler-tidbits @atc74 @ledzeppelinsbonzo @shaniquacynthia @mariekoukie6661 @67-chevy-baby @fandom-princess-forevermore @terrarium-jpeg @emoryhemsworth @crashdevlin @heycasbutt @jules-1999 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @cosicas-cuquis @sammyimpala-67 @queenoftheunderdark @dean-winchesters-bacon @mrs-meghan-winchester @timelordy-fangirl2 @sweetness47 @hobby27 @awesomesusiebstuff @kickingitwithkirk @gh0stgurl @becs-bunker @sandlee44 @supernaturalgrandma @lonewolf471 @sea040561 @dawnie1988 @maddiepants @volleyballer519 @outcastedangel @iknowwheremytowelis @kdfrqqg @lizette50 @daisymoder72 @sorenmarie87 @oldfreakything

Dean/Jensen Love: @deansyahtzee​ @flamencodiva​ @deanwinchesterswitch​ @waywardrose13​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @winchesterxfamilybusiness​ @focusonspn​ @akshi8278​ @ladywinchester1967​ @sgarrett49​ @wingedcatninja​ @coffee-obsessed-writer​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @team-free-will-you-idjiot​ @ellewritesfix05​

[aethylas]

For anonymous: a series of answers/clarifications/amendments on The Goldenrod Revisions! (I've answered these all in one post just to make it easier). Thank you so much for the asks, this helped me a) clarify my thoughts b) solve some canon continuity issues so I really appreciate them!

THANK U for agreeing to answer my questions! I'll have to ask them separately so they're not in 1 super-long impossible-to-read ask. I have 3 about 15x19, 1 about 15x20, 2 about 15x21, 2 about 15x22, and 2 about 15x23. quick disclaimer: i don't mean any offense at all by my question count! I didn't even notice these oddities the first time I read this; once I read it and accepted it as the true canon, I took a closer look and then noticed. but plz don't think these made your fic any less great!!

No worries anon! It is literally my pleasure to answer them and I am VERY very happy to find discrepancies with canon in the fic - then I can hopefully fix them and make the fic better :) Also I really appreciate the very systematic way you laid all these out, it really helped me reply, and also subsequently make a couple of edits to the fic!

For 15x19:

1. Why did Chuck trust Michael with the task of killing Jack? As God he should know Michael betrayed him in 15.08; did he expect Michael to disobey him again?

I think in this case we're/Chuck is relying on knowledge from the canon 15.19, i.e. Chuck would assume the outcome predicted by the show - that Michael WOULD betray the Winchesters/the world in order to please his father. So God assumed Michael would act the way he did in Inherit The Earth. But additionally, Chuck isn't actually very keyed-in to his own characters' motivations (esp. when love is involved) or very attached to certain results - he basically sends Michael and Lucifer to kill Jack because he figures it will entertain him no matter what happens - whether Michael and Lucifer kill each other, whether they kill the Winchesters/Jack, etc. - either Jack dies this way or Chuck will think of another way to do it.

2. How was Sam able to kill Lucifer? It was said only an archangel could kill another archangel with the archangel blade; was this a total lie or could Sam do it since he's Lucifer's true vessel? (plz don't change it to have Michael kill him; Sam being the one to do it was perfect, I just wanna understand how he could do it).

So glad you raised this because I honestly totally forgot! But now that you have, I have corrected that lore continuity with a line about biblical metaphors.

3. How is Rowena alive? She said she was dead in 15.08, so I initially assumed as a witch and the Queen of Hell she found a way to travel between Hell and Earth despite being dead. But then Sam says "Michael could've killed you" and then Chuck kills her twice in 15.21, both of which indicate she's alive here - does this mean Michael resurrected her when she summoned him?

God okay this is like - please call me out if this is incorrect or still confusing - but it's kind of like, based on the very inconsistent and confusing lore of the SPN afterlife that I assume Rowena is 'dead' but also 'alive' in the sense that Crowley was 'alive' and is now 'dead'. Does that make sense? She's not 'alive' as a human but rather as a demon (or something like it). So as Queen of Hell and a presumably demonic-adjacent entity, when she's 'killed' she gets sent to the Empty now vs. being 'killed' as a human and going to Heaven/Hell. (Based on when we see her in Hell, I assume she possesses her own body? Unclear. Just go with it. They've never been great with what it means to show vessels in Heaven/Hell etc.)

4. I thought asked all I wanted to know about Goldenrod but I just thought of 1 more thing: I don’t get why some dialogue implies Michael was dead? He mentions how he “found himself back on Earth” and tells the Empty it couldn’t stop Chuck from resurrecting him & Lucifer, but prior to 15.19 we last saw Michael leaving the bunker with Adam alive and well in 15.08, and it seemed like he was gonna stay on Earth for Adam’s sake. So what happened to him?

Oh that's a great point! I think that is actually just a confusing choice on my part that Chuck killed absolutely everyone including Michael/Adam in 15.18 Despair and THEN chose to resurrect Michael (but not Adam) alongside Lucifer when he was bored/wanting to kill Jack. I made some slight adjustments in-text to hopefully make it less confusing because I know that's different to the lore of canon 15.19 Inherit the Earth.

For 15x20:

1. How did the angels and demons in the Empty wake up? Did Michael use the last of his grace to wake everyone up? Were they already awake thanks to Jack blowing up in 15x18 or did they somehow sleep through that? (Not expanding on the Empty's claim that "you made it loud" is one of countless things I'll never forgive the actual show for, so THANK YOU for taking the show back to the Empty in the first place; I was just curious about this one element.)

So the Empty was already 'loud' according to canon, but since canon is vague on what exactly that means (thank you writers!...) I got the impression it meant the Empty wasn't 'peaceful' anymore but still powerful enough to suppress the beings inside, like the beings in there were awake and suffering but unable to rebel. Sort of what we see with Cas in this version of 15.20. Maybe like, additional suffering in sleep paralysis? Regardless, Michael does expend his grace to weaken the Empty enough that other beings wake up and/or are able to fight back and exist outside their own personal nightmare chamber. So whatever your impression of 'loud' is with regards to the other beings in there, assume Michael was able to free them from the Empty's control.

For 15x21:

1. Having Jack & Amara take out Hell & Purgatory was a BRILLIANT idea; I love that they ended all the places of suffering and changed the system. I just wonder - what happened to the souls and the demons still in Hell at that point, and the Leviathans and other monsters still in Purgatory? Were they just wiped out completely and sent to the Empty? Or did Jack turn them human and add them to the cycle? (I don't think the show clarified whether or not Leviathans have souls, so...)

No matter whether they were monster or demon or even angel, they would eventually be given human life. I broke it down to 'human enough souls' vs. 'not human enough souls'. Human-enough were immediately brought to life with memories and versions of their original bodies, and not-human-enough were sent to the Soul Queue to be born as infants. I assume Leviathan and most demons fall into 'not human enough', therefore, whatever tiny microbe of personality/soul they had was added to the cycle of rebirth and would be translated to a new human soul. Of course this might have a WILDLY different impact on the world depending on how many people go to hell in this system, how many people were 'human enough', etc.... But we're basically fudging those numbers a bit one way or another just to give certain characters the revival they deserve haha.

2. Did Cas drown and die after Chuck threw him in the lake and Jack left their limbo-dream world? If so, did he go through the same question-&-answer situation with Death that Sam & Dean did? Or was he with Jack & Amara when they rebuilt the world?

Cas was already dead/dying even when he was talking to Jack, he was sort of in a different version of the 'Veil' per se. VERY wishy-washy, but basically he and Jack were on a different dream-plane that they were jolted to in the chaos of the disorganised no-Death world.

I think Cas, Rowena, Lucifer, Michael, etc. as beings who were killed after the snap is a bit ambiguous. Rowena and Lucifer, I think, as entities who were demonic-dead or Empty-level-dead pre-Snap probably went through the reincarnation Yes/No Death questionnaire. Cas and Michael might not have since they were technically 'alive' and human before the Snap. Regardless, I think they probably wouldn't remember the interaction even if they had it.

The reason the question happened to the Winchesters AND that they remember it is Main Character Syndrome... they were the only people left alive when Jack and Amara did a hard reset, and that honestly Death took time to chill/exposition at them because he likes them. Really. Despite all appearances. Or respects them enough to let them know what's gone down, anyway.

Metatextually, it was really just to reaffirm to the audience that Dean (and Sam) want to live, in contrast to 15.20 Carry On 😅

3. Did all the snapped people (Eileen, Adam, the Waywards, etc.) also go through the Death question-&-answer process but not remember it, or did Jack & Amara just send them back?

Snapped people were reset automatically! Normally the new-humans also wouldn't remember their interactions with Death/reapers, just like in canon lore when someone like Dean has a near-death experience.

I realise this whole section and various other lore reformation parts of the fic aren't SUPER clear on specific logistics but on some occasions I'm like, I've done enough info-dumping, I don't want to overwrite exposition. But if you think it's worth clarifying certain points let me know and I can try to do so!

For 15x22:

1. The twenty something blonde guy in sunglasses getting hot tea, is that Belphegor? sure sounds like it but I wanted to confirm.

Yep!

2. Since Death mentioned that Jack only resurrected the angels, demons, and monsters from the Empty who had enough of a soul, and since all the human souls from the Veil went to Heaven as confirmed by Kevin's presence, how exactly are Anna's human parents and Bela alive now?

Great question - 1) I SOMEHOW FORGOT ANNA'S PARENTS DIED? Complete screw up on my part, I don't know how that happened. I fixed this so it's her grandparents now. 2) Bela was sent to Hell as part of her deal, so I was assuming she was a demon by this point in canon (since it would be... MANY Hell-years since she died.) Therefore she had a 'human' enough demon soul to be put back as a human.

3. Oh, and the tall woman with the flyer in 15.22; who is this supposed to be? Hannah I’m guessing?

To be honest I didn't have anyone in particular in mind for that scene; it was kind of a catch-all for missing characters like, it COULD be Hannah. It could be Raphael. Hell, it could be Abbadon. I didn't want to do a full shot of every single person missing from the cast who had died (esp since like - we wouldn't know who they were anyway! Their bodies would be different). So this one is literally just fill-in-the-blank. But if I had to assign a character there I'd say it would probably be one of the more arrogant angels like Raphael or Uriel.

For 15x23:

1. How is Bobby in the Roadhouse with the gang? 10x17 seemed to imply the angels were about to throw him in the dungeons to punish him for helping Cas; did Ash hack him out of prison, or was he never imprisoned at all? Also, is Jack not surprised to see another Bobby in Heaven because the boys already told him there was another Bobby besides the one he knows from Apocalypseverse? (I was half-expecting him to comment about that and confuse Bobby).

Oh that's a great point! I think that's another sort of fill in the blank since it's been five years since 10.17... even if he was in prison of some kind, I think it's likely either Ash helped him get out in the same way he helped everyone else, and since the angels were extremely short-staffed I doubt getting Bobby suitably imprisoned/punished was their top priority. But honestly I'm not super clear on how the angels intended to punish Bobby, I don't think canon is clear either... like, We Just Don't Know.

Finally I'd like to know, has Sam proposed to Eileen yet by the end of the final episode? The script doesn't mention a ring on her finger, and as Sam's fiancee, I'd assume she'd also have carved her name on the table. Sam mentions the innuendos Dean has said "in the past year," so it's been a while since Jack's prayer scene, yet Cas says Dean & Claire's argument was the last time they spoke, and it doesn't seem likely to me that Dean wouldn't call Claire in a year given how close they are...

Nope! I think Sam is saying 'I'm going to marry her' as a declaration of certainty of his feelings and faith in the future, not neccessarily as something that immediately happens. With regards to 'in the past year', that referred to the period when Eileen was alive during s15 as well! I assume Dean did teasing off-screen (and I mean, he did plenty on-screen too.)

I honestly think that Sam and Dean are just very very busy in the aftermath of the events of the 15.20 reset, like they have to deal with the new world AND try to wrangle all these hunters into this new system of collaboration. I didn't put Eileen on the table because she isn't there in the finale and because I do think the Sam/Dean/Cas/Jack family unit was a bit more central and important to the show, but maybe they add her (and any possible kids, if they have any) later on. God, imagine generations of hunters and/or Winchesters carving on that table. Sacred Artefact...

(1) Ok that's all the questions I have. Again, so sorry to blow up your inbox - I really appreciate your willingness to clarify these things! If there are some things you'd rather not explain and leave ambiguous, I totally get that. And in spite of these aforementioned confusing parts, I still ADORE your fic and will continue to read it whenever I feel like re-"watching" how Supernatural really ended! Thank you so much!! .... (2) I’m SO sorry to overload u! I know I asked a lot and I didn’t mean to sound like a hater saying “none of ur story makes sense”; that’s not what I meant at all! If this was a regular good ol fix it fic I wouldn’t have said anything but since u said u wanted it to wrap up the show as replacement canon, I thought maybe I should point out places that didn’t line up. But take as MUCH time as you need! Good for you working to meet your deadlines; I hope you succeeded!! And again I really appreciate you taking the time to answer whenever you have time—absolutely no rush!! Have a GREAT Memorial Day Weekend!!!

Anon thank you SO SO much for all these questions, as you can see it really helped me identify problems or straight up errors in my work wrt continuity and I'm so happy that means I can improve it. If any of the answers weren't clear or you think I should modify the fic to make certain things clearer than they are right now (other than the things I said I'd fix in-text for sure) let me know! It's really been a pleasure answering them too, I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to it, I actually went back and proofed/edited the whole fic as part of adding some of these corrections in (and that took like... three weeks...) and as you said, it's very important to me to get it as true to canon as possible so - yeah, just, once again, thank you!! You're wonderful! ♥♥♥