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deepdarkdelights · 2 years ago

Text

Perfection | Jin x Reader

Pairing: Vampire Jin x Reader

Word Count: 16k

Series: (6/7) Predator Universe

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Yandere, Obsession, Fear, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Touching, Dub-Con, Cunnilingus, Breaking and Entering, Symptoms of Panic/Anxiety, Stalking, Depictions of Gore, Blood, Anger Issues, Dismemberment, MC had a fear of death, MC has agoraphobia, but MC is in therapy (good for her), Jin is kind of an asshole but we love it, kind of pet-playish(?), Jin is basically a sugar daddy tbh

I do not condone the acts displayed in this story nor do I believe any members of BTS would actually engage in this type of behavior. This is simply written for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a reflection of my own values, opinions, or morals.

Preview: Your eyebrows furrowed as you peered over your shoulder. Sure enough, there were a few dark eyes staring back at you - but there was one pair in particular that really caught your attention. There was a man in a roped-off section of the club, a velvet curtain drawn to the side to reveal him seated on an ornate chair. He looked like a king watching over his people, and you meant that not only because of his position but because of his features as well. It was undeniable that he was the most attractive person in the room, hell, the most attractive person you had ever seen. Smooth pale skin, plush lips in a permanent pout, dark eyes, and the widest set of shoulders with a slender waist. He was a work of art. He had this look on his pretty features as if he had just tasted something bitter, and that look was directed behind you.

A/N: I have been working on this fic since July and I am so happy that it is finally done and you guys will be able to read it! I really hope the time this took was worth it and that the fic was worth the hype lol. It’s almost one thirty in the morning and I have a quiz so I really should be sleeping. I think this is one of my favorite installments of the series! I hope you enjoy the fic and as always I can’t wait to see you in my inbox and my comments. Ily 💜💜💜

Kim Seokjin had not only a pretty face but a brilliant mind as well.

At least, that’s what he told everyone.

If there was a singular sin that he could fully encompass it would be vanity. And the sin that he shared with nearly everyone in his “family” was that of pride: a deadly and violent mix. That blend was what led to his damnation.

He knew that he deserved only the best and nothing less, that was exactly how he had been raised when he was still human. In the late 1800s, he had been granted the privilege of being born into high-class society as the eldest son, the heir to the Kim legacy. Everything he wanted was directly at his fingertips and at his disposal. From the moment he was born he was guaranteed power, and that was something he wished to never lose.

As the heir to a luxury wine company, it was only expected that alcohol, parties, and lewd behavior were set to follow him, and he exceeded those expectations. But he was good at keeping business and pleasure as two distinctly separate functions.

And with the life he lived, it was not often that individuals met his expectations. And by individuals, he meant potential wives. Naturally, it was expected of him to marry and continue the family's legacy. But the gold spoon that he was born with in his mouth tainted the pool. No one was good enough for him and that caused much strife within the family.

He was well past the age of marrying at twenty-eight years old. He was beginning to feel the pressure his father and mother were putting on his shoulders. And, not to mention, he was well aware that he was aging. Of course, he would never admit that his looks were fading. There was not a crease in his skin or a gray hair to be plucked, but he could feel it. He could see the minute imperfections that no one else could. It made his skin crawl in disgust.

And then Kim Namjoon entered the frame and everything began to come together.

His mother had insisted on organizing yet another party to find him a wife under the guise that he was there to make several important business deals. But when the vast majority of partygoers were young women with stars in their eyes he knew what was really going on. And of course, he was not going to stick around and socialize with subpar candidates. If he were going to do that it would be restricted to his bedroom, of course.

Namjoon had come to that party that night, Yoongi in tow despite his protests. Namjoon was a cultured man, he liked to mingle with the members of high society from time to time. It helped him learn what was appropriate for the decade as trends (in manners, clothing, and amusement) came and went rapidly. And those who belonged to the upper class were those who set those trends. It was strategic and it helped his kind blend in as seamlessly as possible.

And Jin was the epitome of a high-class man.

And so, Namjoon and Yoongi befriended him. It hadn’t been hard for them, they had been around for so long that they fit right in. And Jin had merely thought he found more of the few people that could meet his high expectations - his small inner circle growing with two new additions. But of course, that friendship had started out with the purpose of using Jin for what he had.

So in turn, he used them.

While Jin had a pretty face, he actually was quite smart and observant. He took note of his companions' odd behavior. He never saw them during the daytime, only in the veil of the night. They had the oddest colored eyes - not quite black but a deep shade of burgundy like the embers of a smoldering fire laid within their depths. And they were cold, absolutely frigid to the touch like a corpse. It didn’t take him very long to piece together what they were, and it was only proven true when he caught the both of them feasting on lifeless corpses in his guest room. He timed everything just perfectly to discover their true nature.

Yoongi had seemed genuinely surprised, bloody lips parted in shock as he stood as still as a statue, the limp body still collapsed in his iron grasp.

Namjoon, on the other hand, was smiling. He too was not able to conceal his nature any longer but he wasn’t trying either. He took his time and continued to finish his meal despite the obvious living human presence in the room.

“You two have been holding out on me,” Jin said with a disappointed tone.

“Holding out?” Namjoon echoed before relaxing his arms and allowing the corpse to slip down to the floor, the thinnest drizzle of blood pooling onto the parquet flooring.

Yoongi could only stare at the both of them, his eyes darting back and forth between the two other men.

“Yes, holding out! You are immortal are you not?”

“Yes, we are, and I’m sure you’ve figured out the rest by now haven’t you?”

“You may have been able to fool all of those other halfwits but it was painfully obvious to me, of course.”

“Of course.” Namjoon nodded while trying to suppress an amused grin.

“I want in, I wish to join you and your kind.”

“No,” Yoongi immediately cut in, “You don’t know what you’re asking for, this is a curse it is not something to take lightly and flirt with the notion of.”

His tone was harsh, his face stern but there was evident pain behind his eyes. Yoongi had been forced into this life if that was what you could even call it. He couldn’t fathom someone willingly agreeing to eternal damnation and he would try his hardest to convince them otherwise.

“Are you denying me?” Jin asked, his face contorted in utter disbelief. He was never denied anything in his twenty-eight years of life and the feeling of rejection was infuriating.

“Yoongi, it’s his decision,” Namjoon interjected, his hand wiping the blood from his mouth leaving a streaky crimson trail behind.

“You’re not actually considering this, are you?” Yoongi hissed.

“What is there to consider? He’s already seen us and he knows what he wants.”

“He has no idea what he wants!”

“And why are you speaking for me? Just because you’re miserable and dissatisfied does not mean the same will be said for me!” Jin spat. “I grow tired of this human body. Every second of every day I feel myself wasting away and there is not a thing I can do about it.”

“You would throw away your humanity, your life, all in the name of vanity?” Yoongi asked in disbelief.

“And for greed as well,” Jin laughed, “Believe me, I am many things and one of them is self-aware. I am a selfish bastard and I am perfectly fine with that. I won’t allow my looks to fade and my fortune will grow as centuries pass. This is what I desire and I refuse to concede.”

He was a businessman in every aspect.

“It sounds like he’s made his choice, Yoongi.” Namjoon finally spoke.

“It sounds like he’s made an ignorant choice and I refuse to have any part in this,” Yoongi said, storming past the two of them and slamming the door shut with enough force that the mahogany wood cracked by the handle.

“So, are we going to fuck about or will you give me what I want?” Jin asked, his impatience growing.

“I consider you a good friend, Jin. I won't lie, I am pleased that you are asking this of me.” Namjoon smiled before grabbing Jin’s shoulder, “We’re all lonely children looking for a place where we belong.”

Lonely children, that was one way to put it. Namjoon was not entirely wrong. In a world where you deserved only the best, many fell short and in the end, you were painfully alone, whether you were willing to admit it or not.

“Before we go through with this, there are some things you should know.”

“What things?”

“You can’t go in the sun, not just yet, you’ll be far too young and far too sensitive to light. Quiet, dark, scentless places are going to be the best place to stay - your senses are going to be heightened tenfold. You must feed often in the early years, you’re going to be very hungry, bloodthirsty really so you need to stay away from large crowds of people.”

Jin was silent for a moment, his eyes shifting from left to right and back again as he processed everything he was told. He could manage, and he could figure out how to do all of those things while maintaining his position as an heir.

“Lastly, do not try and do this alone. In our world, there is strength in numbers as well as safety. You’ll have to stay with me and Yoongi, we will all be bound to one another as creator and creation.”

“So when you two leave…”

“You will follow.” Namjoon nodded, “We try to stay in one place for as long as we can so if it’s your family you’re worried about you’ll have plenty of time to figure something out.”

But they weren’t coming with him. As terrible as it was, that wasn’t a great enough reason to sway his decision. He still wanted what he desired and he was willing to let his family go. So he stuck out his hand, ready to shake on the agreement.

“I accept the conditions.”

~~~~~~~

Most people were afraid of spiders, some of heights, and many feared drowning. But you feared something a bit more abstract and with a bit more finality. You were afraid of aging and by association, you were incredibly afraid of death.

And that fear often leads you to do a few things. One of them was to start skincare at an absurdly young age. The other was to hermit yourself inside of your house out of fear of some horrific accident befalling you. And the other was to seek out strange and obscure places to visit before you die. It was odd that the last two coincide but they do.

There were days when you were so frightened that you couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the comfort of your bed. And then you had days where you felt daring, if you were going to die one day would you really want to have lived your only life trapped inside of your own house? There were your good days and your bad days and they came and went like the tides.

Today was a “good” day. And by good day that meant you were on your laptop scrolling through forums trying to find a new place to visit. Living in a small town was hard, you knew everyone and every place because they were so few in number. But sometimes there were locations in between towns, or hidden spots in your own. Briar Hills is an old town, a historical town even. It’s not uncommon for places to be abandoned, concrete skeletons collapsing and being devoured by the flora.

It was finding them, buried in hundreds of posts, that was difficult. The teenagers in the town had taken to reclaiming those places, turning them into party spots in the blink of an eye. But that has changed in the past few months. Ever since the first body turned up.

That was the thing about small towns, murder was much rarer than the action that cities see. So, when dozens of corpses begin to show up in streams and lakes and people begin to go missing without a trace - panic ensues. As well as a town-wide curfew.

Briar Hills turned into a ghost town after dark. The streets would be empty, lit by a few lampposts spread down the street that was easily consumed by a thick, hazy fog. Every now and then the fog would be broken by police lights, red and blue shocks of color dispersing the mist as the night patrol came around the block. It looked like something out of a horror movie.

And, if it weren’t a good day, the sight alone would be enough to keep you corralled in your room. But it was a good day and you had become stir-crazy from staying in your house for the past few weeks.

After endless scrolling there was one post in particular that caught your attention. It looked like an extravagant invitation with a satin black background and deep red embellishments. It had very little interaction and it was written in a completely different language. For something as obscure as an abandoned place in a small town you weren’t surprised that it had gone unnoticed, especially considering few people checked this forum.

Putting the text into google translate had not been insanely helpful. The translated text was jumbled and made little sense, it was one of those languages that did not thrive when it came to longer translations. But you were interested and fairly stubborn and after extended research and decoding fragmented sentences you were left with this:

“The best bite I’ve ever had,” And following that was a set of coordinates that had been written out instead of just using their numerical counterparts.

You were interested.

What could that mean? Maybe it was some hole-in-the-wall restaurant, but why all the decorum? Why the translations? Who even uses coordinates anymore? The best way to get the answers you desired was to discover them for yourself.

That’s how you ended up sneaking out of your house, dressed head to toe in dark colors, like some teenager that’s about to disappoint their parents. Except, in this case, your parents were the cops, and being grounded would equate to being detained for violating the town-wide curfew. All the more reason to not get caught.

You started to get cold feet when you realized where the set of coordinates was leading you, your body came to a fast stop when the toes of your boots met the edge of the forest. The forest, at night, with low visibility, and predators prowling was a bad move. That just screamed a sudden and violent death, not to mention the bulk of missing persons' corpses had been found within its depths. This was a stupid idea, a bad move, but it was a good day and you were too stubborn to follow reason. You would make up for it tomorrow by hiding in your bed all day. It was an unhealthy coping mechanism, but a coping mechanism nonetheless.

You took a deep breath, squared your shoulders, and took a step forward. There was no going back now, you had made up your mind.

The further into the forest you trekked the quieter it became. It didn’t make sense. You were getting further from society so why was it so quiet? The wind was still, not a branch or leaf trembled, and not even a cricket dared to chirp. It was like every living creature had up and left, abandoning their home. The only sound that filled the static silence was the bubbling rush of water from the river.

You began to walk faster, your nerves urging you to get where you were going and be done with it. On top of that, your eyes were starting to play tricks on you, your brain attempting to make sense of the dark and fill in what was missing resulting in ominous shadows shifting through the trees. You were regretting your decision immensely, so you picked up the pace and began humming to yourself to fill the silence.

If you were being honest, you really had no idea what you were supposed to be looking for. The post hadn’t listed much of anything and you weren’t sure what would be at the end of the coordinates. But, the red light glowing in the distance was a sure sign of something. It grew more intense as you neared it, the light getting stronger the closer to the ground it was. When you finally pushed through the underbrush you were met with a set of concrete stairs leading down into the ground and at the very bottom was an old metal door with a faintly pulsing red light above it. Looking down at your phone you were able to verify that you had made it to where the coordinates were marked.

It was a bomb shelter. It was most likely one for the community back in the forties, an evacuation and safe point for those who didn’t have their own. It must have been abandoned and forgotten about after the war, left to rot there for the past eighty years. But if that light was anything to go by, it must have been reclaimed by someone.

You carefully stepped down the stairs, applying a little weight at a time to make sure that the concrete hadn’t eroded and wouldn’t crumble beneath you. When you reached the bottom you tried the door and to your surprise, it opened with a creak. There was a long tunnel just barely lit by candles lining the walls leaving deep shadows in between them. And now you could feel the walls thumping, steadily vibrating with a muffled bass. That meant there was another chamber somewhere.

You hesitantly traveled down the tunnel, long stretches of the floor would eventually give way to more stairs leading you deeper and deeper underground. This was a claustrophobe's worst nightmare. The more you walked the harder the walls vibrated until you finally came upon another door where the sounds became the loudest. Above the door hung a purple neon sign that read: “Blood Sugar.”

Upon testing the door handle, you were surprised to find that it was unlocked, and once it slowly swung open your nose was assaulted with the scent of alcohol, sweat, and a coppery odor. You swiftly entered and closed the door behind you, trying your best not to bring too much attention to yourself. But it appears you would have no trouble doing so.

The room you had stepped into was massive, the walls were tall and rounded out at the ceiling and were made completely out of metal. But it was far from a barren, abandoned bunker. The room was packed with people, some dancing, some drinking, and others wrapped around one another on the various red velvet chaises spread around the space. The music was loud and the room was lit by antique chandeliers as well as deep purple lighting casting an ominous glow over everyone.

The bunker had been converted into a club of some sort and despite the decrepit tunnels you had slunk through to get here, it was surprisingly luxurious. You were honestly surprised the entire town hadn’t known about this place. That much was certainly true because, despite the large crowd, you could only recognize about five people you had seen before. The massive gathering was largely that of people that were not from Briar Hills.

A set of delicate hands slithered around your waist, tugging you sharply towards the stranger behind you. A shout of surprise parted your lips as you turned around, slapping the offending limbs off of you.

There was a tall woman facing you with a grin on her face, her bright white teeth glinting from behind her deep red lips. Her skin was so pale it was glowing with a purple hue from the lights, her long black curls creating an even sharper contrast against her skin. And you couldn’t explain why you felt the way you did, but the sight of those bright white teeth had your stomach twisting in knots. Despite her delicate appearance, every red flag was being raised in your body. The urge to run was strong.

“Hello, sweetheart,” She crooned, “You’re new, aren’t you?”

Something in the back of your mind demanded you lie.

“No, I’m not. If you’ll excuse me,” You said, your voice steady and cold despite the goosebumps on the back of your neck and the rapid thump of your pulse.

As you went to walk past her she easily stopped you with a hand on your shoulder, her face suddenly incredibly close as she pressed her nose to your hairline and took a deep breath. “Oh, you can’t lie to me, I remember every sweet little snack that comes in here.”

What. The. Fuck.

“Look, I’m not interested in…whatever that means,” You huffed, taking a few steps back and breaking free from her steel grasp, “I’m just here for a drink.”

“Oh?” She hummed, “So am I, I’m glad we can cut to the chase.”

“Okay?” You slowly asked before shuffling around her imposing figure, “See ya.”

You slipped into the crowd, forcing your way through the bodies in an attempt to shake her off of your trail. Anybody else in your position would have lingered for the ethereal woman, but you couldn’t ignore that feeling in the back of your mind or that tug deep in your gut. She was dangerous, and no pretty smile or sweet words could hide it. It was in times like these that your intense fear of death became present as paranoia, warning you of all potential threats.

When you started therapy you were encouraged to slowly step out of your comfort zone, to do things that would combat your anxieties. So, on good days, you try your best to succeed with these short-term goals hoping in the long run you could live normally like every other person your age. But you often found your anxiety creeping up on you and you knew after tonight you would need the rest of the week to recover and that meant avoidance which meant hiding out in your rented duplex.

But for now, you had to cope.

When you broke free from the crowd you stumbled forward, a stray limb jabbing you in the back and sending you reeling onto one of the velvet chaises. To your utter embarrassment, you landed right next to a couple that had left all of their inhibitions at the door like many other patrons of the underground club. The woman was straddling the man's thighs, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he buried his head in the crook of her neck, her long locks obscuring his face. Although you couldn’t see what he was doing it didn’t take a genius to figure out what it was as the woman’s mouth opened to let out soft moans of pleasure.

Heat rushed up to your face as you stumbled off of the chaise and backed up from the voyeuristic lovers. Of course, you weren't innocent, but seeing something like that in person was different from shamelessly reading smut at three AM.

A few feet away from the couple was the bar. It was surprisingly empty for a club. The man you assumed to be the bartender behind the countertop was relaxing against it, his dark eyes scanning your awkward posture.

You swiftly approached the bar and yelled over the music, “Hi, how much is water?”

He gave you an amused chuckle before grabbing a small leather menu and sliding it over to you, “We don’t serve that here, sweetheart.”

You stared at him in confusion before flipping open the menu. The only thing listed there were various wines all costing an exorbitant amount of money, and by that, you meant at least three months' rent and that was just for a glass, not even the bottle.

“These prices are insane, are you kidding me?!”

“They’re from 1889, newbie.” He smiled, a grin identical to the woman from earlier.

“Well, this was a bust.” You groaned, the initial buzz of excitement from finding a town secret had long since faded.

“Can I offer you some advice?”

“Be my guest.”

“You might want to pay more attention to your surroundings, you’ve had eyes on you since you stepped foot in this place.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you peered over your shoulder. Sure enough, there were a few dark eyes staring back at you - but there was one pair in particular that really caught your attention. There was a man in a roped-off section of the club, a velvet curtain drawn to the side to reveal him seated on an ornate chair. He looked like a king watching over his people, and you meant that not only because of his position but because of his features as well. It was undeniable that he was the most attractive person in the room, hell, the most attractive person you had ever seen. Smooth pale skin, plush lips in a permanent pout, dark eyes, and the widest set of shoulders with a slender waist. He was a work of art. He had this look on his pretty features as if he had just tasted something bitter, and that look was directed behind you.

“If I were you, I would get out of here. Things get crazy with fresh blood, ya know? The people here are like sharks in the water.” The bartender said, regaining your attention. “Uh oh, looks like you got one on your trail.”

You followed his and the pretty stranger’s gaze behind you. It was her again, the woman from earlier. She was slipping through the ocean of moving bodies with ease, her gait like that of a jaguar on the prowl as she approached. You watched as her polished fingers wiped away what looked like stray lipstick from beneath her lips.

Without thinking you darted away from the bar and past the pretty man, rushing through the first door you found which turned out to be the bathroom. Once the door fell shut you felt like you could relax for a moment. The music was muffled allowing you to think coherently for the first time since you had entered the bunker. Everything had become far too stimulating and you could feel your anxiety rising.

You leaned against the sink, turning the water on ice cold before splashing your face so that you could shock yourself back into clarity. You allowed yourself to brace the sink and relax your body, focusing on your breathing and grounding yourself before you lost control, just the way you were taught to.

The feeling of ice-cold fingers on your shoulders threw all of your work away.

You yelped and flinched, your eyes flying open to see her standing behind you in the reflection of the mirror.

“I knew you were a shy little thing, you should have just told me you wanted to do this privately.” She sighed with a sickeningly sweet smile.

In a moment of flight, fight, or freeze your body chose for you, your legs running without you telling them to do so. You didn’t make it far, not before she grabbed hold of you and threw you up against the wall. Your head hit the tile behind you so hard you saw stars.

“I’ve been hunting you down all night, you’ve made me build up quite the appetite. Do you know how many others I’ve had to threaten to get to you? Everyone always wants to take someone’s first bite.”

What the fuck was she talking about?

“While it was cute at first, we've played this game for long enough, don’t you think?”

“Let go of me!” You yelled while grabbing her wrists and trying to pry her hands off of you. To your complete and utter shock, she didn’t move an inch, it was like her bones were made of iron - immovable and inflexible.

“Now, now, don’t go throwing a tantrum that won’t get you anywhere.” She sighed, sliding her hand up your shoulder to wrap around your throat and squeeze.

Your throat and lungs burned as her grip slowly increased its pressure, your eyes watering as broken gasps and chokes for air gurgled past your lips.

“There there, much better.” She whispered into your ear as she released your throat, your body going limp as you gasped for air.

She easily gathered you up into her arms and softly tilted your head to the side, her perfectly polished nails grazing over the stretch of skin as she hummed before pressing her cherry-red lips to your throat.

“Don’t worry, you’ll feel a slight pinch.” She joked before her jaw widened and a demonic hiss left her throat as her teeth grazed the soft flesh of your vulnerable neck.

But before she could sink her teeth in she was harshly ripped away from you, her perfect face slammed so hard into the bathroom wall that the tiles shattered upon impact. A loud cry of pain echoed throughout the room as she pulled herself from the wall, black blood was pouring from her crooked nose and her sliced lips.

Behind her stood the stranger from before, a miffed and frankly disgusted expression marred his stunning features.

“What the fuck, Jin?!” She screamed, cupping her injured face.

“She’s not a fang banger, Junghee.”

Her once flawless features froze in shock as a look of horror crawled over her face. It was the look of someone who realized that they had made a horrible mistake.

“You’ve really fucked up this time.” He growled in irritation, a genuine growl that had your skin crawling.

“Well, how was I supposed to know?! What is she even doing here?!”

“That’s none of your concern anymore, get the fuck out!” He yelled, ripping the bathroom door open and throwing her out of the room.

You stayed pressed up against the wall out of pure terror. Vampires, you had walked into a fucking nest of vampires and had the closest brush with death you’ve ever had in your entire life. Your gaze remained locked on the vampire, Jin, as he calmed down; the waves of his rage slowly dissipating. In this lighting, you could finally see what you hadn’t been able to before in the dim club. Under the fluorescent lights, his eyes gleamed a vibrant, intimidating red.

You winced in fright as he took a step in your direction, your body attempting to meld into the wall behind you. Jin raised his eyebrow in questioning, taken aback by your apprehension. It wasn’t often he had humans cowering in fear, usually, they shook from…something else.

“Enough of that, come along human.” He snapped, grabbing you by your sleeve and easily dragging you from the room despite your protests and your heels digging into the ground. He was pulling you as if you weighed nothing.

“Let go!” You shrieked in terror, struggling against his hold with all of your might.

He came to a sudden halt, gripping you by your shoulder and pulling your body so close that there was barely an inch of space left between his chest and your own.

“Don’t you think you’ve drawn enough attention to yourself tonight?”

You peered over your shoulder, and sure enough, there were several of his kind watching the two of you from the dance floor. Their stares were curious and hungry. Unconsciously you shifted closer to him, choosing the lesser of two evils, one vampire versus many.

“Look at that you’re smart, for a human.” He snickered before guiding you back to the curtained area you had seen him sitting in before Junghee had cornered you in the bathroom.

“Sit, stay.” He said with a smirk as he pressed you down by your shoulder onto one of the couches before gesturing for someone to close the thick curtains.

“Look, I just want to go home. I won’t breathe a word about what happened here or what this place is, it was a mistake coming here.”

“A mistake indeed, but a mistake that needs correcting nonetheless,” Jin said with a distressed roll of his (impressive) shoulders. “So, tell me human, how did you find this place?”

You sat there in silence for a moment, your face the perfect image of confusion, “Are you being serious right now?”

“I don’t recall telling a joke.”

“You - there was a post online, on a forum? Anyone could have found it if they were looking close enough, it really wasn’t that hard to find. All I had to do was translate the text and it told me where to go.”

“A…forum?” He repeated, clearly confused.

Dear God, he was an old-ass vampire who didn't know much about technology or even the internet. He didn’t even know he had advertised the place. He was just an old man in a young man’s body.

“You know, a forum, it’s online, it's where people who want to discuss a certain topic go to. I was looking for obscure places, abandoned buildings, and lesser-known spots in town. I found the posting for this place and it just said ‘The best bite I’ve ever had’...I didn’t know it meant literally.” You said, your nerves leading you to ramble on and on.

Jin’s eyes pressed shut, his face contorting in anger as a hiss parted his lips, “Jimin.”

Jimin and himself were the only two vampires in their coven that knew about the club Jin hosted. Jin had been careless one night and Jimin had followed him, discovering the secret he had kept well hidden. Jin bought Jimin’s silence initially with limited access to the place, but now he was regretting every interaction he had had with the short vampire.

One of the few times Jin had found himself getting on with said vampire had led him to express his annoyance with the lack of human stock for the club. In turn, Jimin had offered to help “advertise” in exchange for unrestricted access to the club.

Now that he had figured out how the little human had snuck her way in, he had to decide what to do with her. He could always kill her, that would be the simple answer. He could drain her dry and snap her pretty neck in an instant. But that wasn’t really his style, he typically preferred to savor his meals unlike his gorger of a “brother”, Jungkook.

Perhaps the human could serve a purpose for him.

“Come, human.” He beckoned with his fingers.

You remained frozen in your seat, your body still in active survival mode keeping your joints locked.

Jin sighed, clearly miffed by your disobedience. He rose from his own seat only to cross the room and sit next to you. His long fingers gripped your chin and jerked your head up, forcing you to look at him. His hold was ice cold, the chill from his touch steadily seeping into your jaw. You felt paralyzed by his intimidating crimson gaze. His eyes flicked quickly over your features as he turned your head from side to side, taking in your every pore.

“Not bad, for a human. Don’t feel too offended, it’s difficult to look as flawless as myself.” He said with a casual tone as if he were merely stating a fact.

“You look pretty average to me,” You blurted out the lie, your lips moving before your brain could stop you from verbalizing.

It was so fast you almost couldn't see it but it was there, his left eye twitched and his grip tightened forcing a slight whine of pain from you. He roughly jerked your head to the side, choosing to ignore what you said despite how much it clearly bothered him. Instead, he trained his focus on your neck, pulling the collar of your shirt down past your collarbone.

“Smooth,” He observed, his icy touch skipping over the skin of your throat, “Junghee didn’t sink her dirty fangs in you after all, that’s good.”

Without warning he leaned down, his nose skimming over your neck as he breathed in, flooding himself with your scent. His grip tightened as you yelped and tried to jerk away from him in fear that this time you would surely die at the hands of a mythical creature, a monster in the flesh.

You squeezed your eyes shut as you felt his plump lips brush your throat, his cool breath fanning over the skin and leaving goosebumps in its wake. His actions were reminiscent of a wine connoisseur, the way they studied the body of the wine and the aroma. He was assessing you - attempting to decide if you would make a good meal, that you were certain of.

You jerked as you felt him bury his face further into your neck. You could feel the slight flutter of his eyelashes against your skin as a groan parted his lips.

“Well, don’t you smell delicious?” He crooned, his tongue swiping over his lips and just barely ghosting over your throat. “I think that we can come to an agreement, does that sound nice?”

“What,” You paused to clear your throat, “what did you have in mind?”

“I’m glad you asked,” He said with a wink after pulling back from you, “You see, I think we could mutually benefit from one another’s company. While breaking your pretty little neck would certainly be the easiest way out of this problem, I do find you quite amusing, pet.”

Your body grew stiff as your mind conjured up the image of his strong hands severing your vertebrate in one smooth pull, your body falling limp and lifeless on the club’s floor. Your greatest fear was death and Jin was death incarnate. He could very easily take your life if he so desired and he was making that very clear. He cared not whether you lived or died but only if your presence benefitted him in some manner. Your life was inconsequential.

“Very few people meet my standards but you are very lucky, I have a rather refined palette and it just so happens you meet said standards. So, I would like to propose a business arrangement. You will be my sole donor and keep those pretty lips sealed about everything you have witnessed tonight and in turn, you get to keep your life.”

“And if I don’t agree?” You dared to ask.

A sneer marred his perfect face, his fingers gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him in his blood-red eyes.

“Then your pathetic human life ends right here, right now.” He said, his hand slipping down your jaw to loosely wrap around your throat. He could feel your pulse steadily thumping against his hand causing his mouth to involuntarily pool with saliva, hunger twisting in his gut.

Your breath hitched, fear slicing down your spine like a violent chill. You knew you only had one choice, and that was to appease the monster that sat beside you because he was far less frightening than the unknown, than the certain embrace of death that waited at every corner.

When fear rules your life, you have no choice. There is only ever one option.

“I agree,” Your voice trembled as you swallowed uncomfortably under his grasp. “I’ll be your donor.”

“Splendid.” He said with a grin, his canines glinting under the light.

“Can I…can I please go home now?” You asked, clasping your trembling hands together to try and still their shaking.

“No, there are a few more fine details we have to iron out,” He said, his index finger lightly tapping your chin, “Firstly, I expect you to maintain a healthy lifestyle and that means no alcohol within a twenty-four hour period before we meet and certainly no smoking it’s a dirty and disgusting habit.”

You nodded slowly, trying your best to avoid looking into his piercing red gaze.

“Try your best to have a healthy diet as well, the junk you humans gorge yourselves on taints your flavor, it’s unbearably sweet.” He said with a wrinkle of his nose in disgust. “I will compensate you for your efforts and your donations, once I’ve deemed you satisfactory, of course,”

“I think that about covers it. And when I call upon you I expect your presence. Do we understand one another?” He asked with a tilt of his head.

Your throat was far too tight, your eyes burning with unshed tears as you weakly nodded in agreement.

“Very good,” He hummed before leaning back into the couch and soundly tapping the top of his thigh, “come, pet.”

You sat still, your body frozen in shock as you were unsure if you had heard him correctly.

“Well?” He raised his eyebrow expectantly.

“I…I don’t think that, um-”

“Are you going to keep babbling and test my patience, or are you going to be a good little pet and do as I say?” He interjected and immediately you remembered the phantom feeling of his hand on your throat, the light grip that screamed threat.

You awkwardly shuffled on your knees across the couch and hesitantly settled your legs on either side of him, hovering so that your weight did not rest on his lap. In response, he firmly gripped your hips and harshly pulled you down onto him, pressing you directly against him in a way that sent heat rushing beneath your skin despite the evident chill that emanated from his body.

You could see his fangs even clearer now. They had become longer than before, the sharpened points dragging along the flushed skin of his plump lower lip. You were terrified by the thought of them piercing your thin flesh. What if they punctured your jugular and you bled out to death? What if he had just been playing with his food this entire time, instilling a false hope of survival in you just to watch with murderous glee as you realized you were meant to die the entire time as he drained the life out of you?

And then what? The void of inevitable nothingness? The abyss of the afterlife? You were spiraling now, you could feel it in the way your chest constricted and your breaths came out in panicked, short huffs.

A soft, wet, stroke against your throat pulled you from your frightening thoughts. As your vision cleared you realized that he had settled back into the juncture of your neck and shoulder, his tongue gently and steadily lapping at your skin. Despite your embarrassment, you could feel your body slowly relaxing and melting against him. It felt like you were being shot up with a tranquilizer, your muscles going weak from his ministrations as the skin of your neck went numb.

And within seconds his fangs were sinking through your flesh, easy and smooth. You jolted in response, a cry of pain leaving you as your fingers curled into the silk of his shirt while your body subconsciously leaned away, trying to escape the sudden painful stimulus.

In response, you could feel Jin’s arms tighten around your back and harshly pull you flat against his chest with an animalistic growl, one that immediately paralyzed you with fear.

The vampire beneath you was enraptured, completely lost in the feeding frenzy as rivers of blood flowed freely past his plump lips and poured down his throat. Your scent had been seductive, but your taste? It was better than any wine, better than ambrosia and nectar, it was addictive. So addictive he was unsure if he would be able to stop but at the same time aware he could not kill you because the rest of his immortal existence would be utter hell if he were unable to get another hit.

Kim Seokjin had a refined palette and high standards and few people met his expectations. But you? You were complete and utter perfection. And he deserved perfection.

His grip was too hard, unrelenting, crushing you against him. You wouldn’t be surprised if he cracked your spine by accident. It was like he was afraid to release you, afraid that there was a chance you would be able to escape him, the apex predator.

But these thoughts were all uselessly whimpered in the back of your mind because the rest of your brain was completely flooded with euphoria. You had never felt so warm and tingly despite his cool hands in your entire life. It was almost like an out-of-body experience, the only thing keeping you grounded in existence was his tight hold. And there were other feelings as well, feelings you would have been ashamed of had your inhibitions not completely disappeared. Feelings that had your thighs clenching on either side of his waist, your heart beating pathetically fast, your pupils dilating, and your limp body helplessly rocking against him with his hands guiding and encouraging you.

This was completely out of character for you. You didn’t climb into random men's laps and writhe against them eagerly like you were in heat. That had never been who you were, but the position you were in now clearly said otherwise.

You were growing lightheaded, not only from arousal and euphoria but from blood loss as well. You weakly pushed at his chest, your innate desire to survive prevailing over the pleasure that had relaxed your muscles.

“Jin, please,” You whimpered, struggling to speak.

The vampire didn’t respond or relent, his arms still wrapped around you like a vice. In desperation you wound your arms around his neck, your fingers tangling into his hair and tugging at the roots. The pull certainly took him off guard, his fangs sliding free from your throat and his perfect lips parting to release a startled moan.

His eyes were half-lidded but his red irises still burned brightly under the dim lighting, a perfect match for the blood that stained his lips and chin. He said nothing at that moment and from what very little you knew about him you could conclude that it was not often that he was at a loss for words.

Warmth trickled down your neck, rivulets of blood still flowing freely now without him there to catch them and that seemed to snap him back to attention. He slowly leaned forward, maintaining eye contact with you until he was level with your throat once more, his tongue darting out to lick up the trails of blood before tracing over the puncture wounds he had left behind.

Your hold on his shoulders did nothing to dissuade him, in fact, he quite enjoyed your weak attempts to keep him at an arm's length. Humans were so fragile, so weak, and he enjoyed that.

“Relax,” He breathed, “We have a deal, remember? It would be a waste to drain you dry in one night.”

“And how do I know you don’t just like to play with your food?” You asked.

“You don’t. You’ll just have to take my word for it, pet.” He smirked, tapping your chin with his finger.

“You’re not going to kill me?”

“Let’s just say your sample was more than satisfactory, I have no reason to take back my word just yet.”

Yet. And yet, he was actually letting you go.

“I’ll see to it that you make it home safely,” He began. But before he could finish speaking you were eagerly sliding off of his lap.

His hands caught your waist easily, one holding you steady and the other firmly grasping your chin between his thumb and forefinger forcing you to look him in his eyes.

“Remember, I call, you answer. As long as you abide by my rules we won’t have a problem.”

You nodded quickly, his words barely registering in your brain as your body took control. You would agree to anything that would keep you alive.

“Don’t disappoint me.”

~~~~~~

Days had passed since that night at Blood Sugar, days where Jin had not tried to contact you, days that you spent isolated in your house - a wave of agoraphobia so strong that the thought of passing a threshold frightened you to the bone which was beyond ironic considering your situation. But those days also led to you trying to convince yourself it had all been a bad dream.

If the encounter at Blood Sugar had in fact been real, you had little to show for it. The skin of your throat was smooth and untouched despite the fangs that you were certain had torn through it like paper. The only parting gift you had was the urge to sleep for days, a splitting headache, and a touch of soreness around your ribs where you were sure his arms had once restrained you.

Pretending it hadn’t happened was easier on your mind. Your whole world had been turned upside down and the monsters you once thought to be the stuff of stories had been pulled from the shadows and abruptly thrust into the light. It was easier to pretend it was a dream. But you couldn’t shake those blood-red eyes from your memories nor the show of pure strength that had been demonstrated against Junghee - her once perfect face that was so easily disfigured by the elder vampire.

You were afraid of death and the realization that it actually lurked at every eerie corner and you had sat in its lap like a contented house cat was enough to fry the connections in your brain.

And you could only pretend for so long. You could only ignore reality for so long.

It had been three weeks since you had seen him when he finally confirmed his existence in the form of a simple text.

“Hungry, you know where to find me.”

And that made your blood run cold. It was time to finally face reality, you had actually made a deal with a vampire and now he was cashing in on your promise. It was donate or die.

And in an absolute panic, you made a terrible decision. You placed your phone face down and retreated beneath your blankets like a small child hiding from the boogeyman.

Your phone did not cease to remind you that you had made a bad decision. The messages started sporadically - spread out throughout the hour. But Jin’s impatience grew as did the texts and calls. The eerie silence of your bedroom filled with a continuous buzzing as your phone continued to vibrate until you couldn’t take it anymore and without looking at a single message you shut down your phone. But that only brought temporary relief.

You were begrudgingly pulled from the safety of your bed that day for an inspection your landlord had scheduled two days prior. There was no getting out of it and in your mind, it was a welcome distraction from the spiraling anxiety you felt when you thought about your powered-down phone.

You had no way of knowing that their presence would only worsen the problem that you had created.

You were generally a quiet person that kept to yourself around strangers, especially strangers that had a say in whether you continued living in your home or not. You practically stuck yourself to the walls as she inspected your home, and while your landlord was not necessarily a mean woman she wasn’t very chatty. You two got along in those regards.

You were able to breathe when she gave you an awkward, tight-lipped smile, waved, and closed the door behind her.

As soon as she was gone you rushed back into your bedroom and just barely pulled your curtains aside to peer out your window and watch her retreat. But when you did look out that window you felt your blood run cold. She was still there, standing on the walkway, and directly in front of her was him. It was twilight out, the sun still desperately trying to cling to a purple and ochre colored sky. It was safe for him to be out. He was giving her a charming smile, one that anyone would fall over at the sight of. You could see him laugh and then say a few words but you were too far away to make out what they were. And then to your utmost horror, she walked away and he made his way up the front steps.

You were frozen, your muscles tense, and refused to move. You held your breath as you listened. There was no way that he could get in, you hadn’t given him permission. But all of your hope washed out of you when you heard the front door’s knob turn and the soft click of it leaving the frame. There were a few light steps and then the door shut once more.

He was inside the house.

You felt absolutely helpless as all you could do was wait for him to find you. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, you were cornered.

It was only a matter of seconds before he did find you, a stern and angry expression clear on his face as he rounded the banister and the stairs and stood right outside the door frame of your room. His eyes were different now, they weren’t the vibrant red that you remembered. They were a deep burgundy now, almost black as they stared back at you with intensity. You couldn’t even make out the difference between his pupils and his irises. It was a bottomless, dark gaze.

“How did you get in?” You asked, the words rushing out of you to your own surprise.

One of his dark brows quirked, whether it was in surprise or irritation you did not know.

“Elaine let me in,” He said with a stomach-turning grin.

Your landlord. She technically owned the house, she could let him in even if you didn’t invite him.

“I thought I made myself clear when we spoke, did I not?” He asked rhetorically, “I call, you answer, I feed, you keep your life. What part of that did your little human brain not comprehend?”

“You called me?”

“Don’t play dumb with me.”

“My phone died-”

“Don’t make me repeat myself!” He snapped, his voice shockingly loud and incomposed.

You flinched back against the wall as he finally entered your room only to stop dead in his tracks not more than five feet away. His eyes widened, his nostrils flared, and his fangs descended on instinct.

The two of you stood there, both staring at each other and refusing to move, waiting for the other to act first.

Jin was the one to break the stalemate.

“You’re on your period.”

Your eyes widened in embarrassment, warmth radiating beneath your skin in response. He could smell it, that was the only explanation and that was a mortifying thought that had you pressing your thighs together, tight and closed.

He looked shaken, frazzled, and incredibly unlike himself. His rage was forgotten, his hunger controlling him. He was gripping the footboard of your bed, the skin of his knuckles stretched taut as he held onto it like he was keeping himself grounded.

“I want a taste,” He said, staring you down without a single blink.

It took you a moment to comprehend what he had just said, and as soon as you connected the dots you were anchoring yourself to the wall and vehemently shaking your head.

“No, no way!”

“Yes,”

“No! That’s messy and gross and I never agreed to do anything like that with you!

“I’m hungry,” He hissed, “And you expect me to just leave when you smell like fucking heaven?”

“Yes, because everything about this is crazy! I don’t know you, I never wanted to find you and now I’m stuck with you until you ultimately decide to kill me so I’m sorry that you’re hungry but it’s not even my problem in the first place!”

That was the one upside to being on your period, the influx of hormones allowed you to become confrontational.

“I’ll pay you double for a feed directly from the source,” He said with gritted teeth.

Jin was never one to bargain, usually he would leave a deal with far more than the other party. But this was something he refused to pass up. Vampires, very often, had little to no inhibitions especially when it came to sex. Sex was often a co-occurrence with feeding, and menstruation was the epitome of that. He didn’t expect a pathetic little human like you to understand. You were fettered by mortal concepts that had forced you to believe you were to be a social pariah during that time, that it was “gross,” as you had said. Little did you know you were considered a delicacy in his world, ripe for the taking. And he knew how delicious you were when he fed from the vein, his mouth watered at the thought of what it would be like now.

Your silence to his proposition only frustrated him even more.

“Do you know how many people would die to be in your position right now? I’ve had women beg to be on their knees for me and I’m offering to pay you to do the opposite.”

You were sure that he was telling the truth because he certainly was the most breathtaking man you had ever seen in your entire life. But what confused you was why he didn’t just throw you down and do as he pleased. He was bigger than you, stronger than you, and far faster than you. If he wanted it as badly as he claimed, why was he bargaining with you? You could only assume it was the lingering effects of the era he had lived in. While he was an asshole, perhaps he took no joy in forcing himself on a woman in that manner.

And then there was the money. Rent wasn’t cheap, that was for sure. And not many people could say that they were paid to be pleasured. It wasn’t a terrible offer, and the last thing you wanted to do was displease a vampire that could kill you and had threatened to do so before.

Shit.

“You wont hurt me?” You asked, your voice wavered.

“Quite the opposite,” He smirked. He knew that he had won.

A gasp of surprise parted your lips as he closed the distance between you, moving so fast that a gust of wind whipped up ruffling your hair and sending loose pages of paper tumbling from your desk. Your heart stuttered in fright, every minute you spent with him only served as a reminder of how dangerous he was. This arrangement you had with him was dangerous, you were toeing the line between life and death and that thought made your stomach turn in unease. He was a vampire, an apex predator, a creature that you had stopped believing in long ago, but also the undead embodiment of death. The very thing you feared the most. All it would take is one moment of frenzy, a lack of control and you would be left to bleed out in your sheets with no one to come and find your remains for weeks to pass.

You didn’t want to die, but you knew he wouldn’t let you live.

The touch of his cold fingers to your waist brought you back to him as he tugged you toward your bed, pressing you down onto the sheets before moving over you like an animal on the hunt. His eyes were pitch black, the veins beneath them prominent, and his fangs dangerously grazed his plump lips. He looked like a fallen angel, like Lucifer himself, the most beautiful outcast of them all.

An involuntary cry of fright left you as he moved impossibly fast once more, his face now level with the side of your head, the tip of his nose just barely brushing over your cheek as he chuckled. Even his breath was frigid.

“You’re nervous,” He hummed in delight, “Careful now, we wouldn’t want your heart to stop, would we?”

He could feel the violent, rapid thumps of your heart where his chest was pressed against yours. It had been a long time since he had had a human like this, oftentimes he found it too annoying. They were fragile creatures and having to restrain himself was rather inconvenient, but he preferred his partners to be responsive when he had his way with them, unlike some of his kind who couldn’t care either way. Was it still necrophilia if both parties were technically dead?

And while your heart was making itself known, you could feel nothing in response. His heart didn’t beat like yours, it had gone silent long ago and that thought only reminded you of just how wrong this entire thing was. He was dead, but you couldn’t wrap your mind around how he also seemed so very alive and while that scared you deeply, it also ignited a disturbing thought within you. But that thought was quickly halted when he noticed your lack of attention on him.

He hated that your attention wasn’t on him.

An annoyed growl rumbled in his throat as he moved back, quickly going down the length of your body and ripping your shorts down your legs, exposing you to the cold air.

“Jin wait-” It felt as if all the air was sucked out of your lungs as he ignored you, plunging his face directly in between your thighs.

He was unlike any of the partners you had had before. He did not take his time even though he evidently had plenty of it. He didn’t warm you up with gentle words, pleasing touches, or lingering kisses. Instead, he was absolutely ravenous. It was just like he said, he was hungry. But you, on the other hand, had not been prepared in the slightest for how sensitive you would be.

You could only whine in discomfort as you tried to clench your thighs closed, one hand coming down to push at his shoulder. Your actions were completely useless, no matter how much force you could use it was like pushing against a concrete wall - he was immovable.

You could feel him growl in annoyance which only sent a shock throughout your body, your hips twitching and your shoulder blades digging into the mattress. His fingers were harshly pressing against your thighs, forcing them open wider and hooking your legs over his shoulders so that he could get impossibly closer to you.

“Too - too much!” You barely managed to get the words out, your body jolting from sharp bursts of pleasure.

“Be a good pet and take it for me,” He crooned, parting from you for a mere moment to look up at you - his bright crimson eyes cutting through the darkness that had steadily filled the room. “I thought you said you would do anything to keep your life?”

You couldn’t explain the feeling that his words gave you, but the shame that lingered was recognizable. Shame that enduring pleasure to ensure your survival was an addictive cocktail of emotions.

You couldn’t even form a response in time before he returned back to his feeding, his soft lips and firm tongue caressing you in a way that made you realize he was actively trying to make you feel good instead of solely focusing on gorging himself on your blood. You had no way of knowing that that just made the feed all the more enjoyable, the rush of hormones in your body only adding to the flavor. It was a flavor he already knew he was addicted to and while he was reluctant to admit it to himself, it was a flavor he could not live without.

And with each feed there were more problems to come. While he knew his blood, saliva, and venom were incredibly intoxicating to your weakened human state - he underestimated the effect you would have on him. With all of the hormones his bite coaxed out of you there was one pesky one that affected him: oxytocin. It was a bonding hormone, one that fostered a relationship between feeder and donator which was why so many vampires rarely fed from the same human more than once typically preferring to drain the body dry and dump it anywhere to rot.

He was willingly making himself vulnerable to you all in order to get another fix, another hit of your blood. And the worst part was, he didn’t mind.

“Jin!” You cried.

He was disgusted with himself, disgusted by the way his body shuddered and was aflame with tingles at the mere moan of his name rolling off of your lips. It was nothing special, countless others had done it before you, but he couldn’t understand why it was you. Why were you special?

He could blame it on the damn hormone bond all he wanted, but this was only the second feed which meant, to his utmost horror, it was him. His interest in you, a human, was more than just superficial desire.

Oh, how far he had fallen.

He smelled your salty tears and he could even see the gleam of them as they rolled down the curves of your cheeks as your hips pitched forward, broken whimpers wracking your body that only served to drive him crazier. He could drown in you and it still wouldn’t be enough.

And as soon as all of the tension within you snapped he was digging his fangs into the meat of your thigh, fresh, hot blood rushing over his tongue and down his throat. The blend was intoxicating for not only him but for you as well - the bite secreting venom that doubled the effects of all of his efforts that lit your brain and body on fire. You could become addicted to him just as easily as he was to you because that feeling, that feeling was indescribable and would never be able to be replicated by anyone but him. Just as he was chasing you for his fix, you could easily see yourself doing the same.

When you came too, you were startled by the gentle touch of his tongue to the puncture wounds on your thigh. It soothed over the cuts rhythmically, urging the skin to sew itself back together again. And while he worked, he stared. Bright, crimson red eyes were trained on you. His gaze dark and dangerous. Your body that had once been limp and relaxed immediately tensed once more. The knowledge that a predator was nestled into your lap was enough to reignite fear in your chest. You feared that the slightest twitch or breath would signal for him to lunge again, but this time the outcome would not be so pleasurable for you.

But Jin was a man of his word. You didn’t die that night and your bank account was fed in due course.

This continued for the next six days. Whereas before it seemed like the vampire was able to abstain from feeding for as long as he wished, he had now become ensnared by a ravenous, bottomless hunger. And that was all the more frightening. But what was even more frightening was the way he began to change.

He was still rude, cold, and dominating. But he had become ever present. His closeness could be described as suffocating. The only solitude you could find was in the daylight, but the minute the sun began to set he was back and hungrier than before. And after the…feeding, he would linger. He would touch you more often, his words still snarky but lacking their usual bite. It was like he was becoming comfortable around you. He was still insufferable, but undeniably comfortable.

It was that comfortability that encouraged you to entertain that dark thought you had tried to smother before. Your ever present fear of death could easily be solved, the answer to your problem mere inches away from you. You understood the gravity of the situation, what it would mean to become something like him. But you couldn’t deny the truth that you could live with ending the lives of others if it meant you could sustain your own. You didn’t want to die, you couldn’t fathom dying, and you had an undead man at your disposal. If he was willing.

It was after your seventh session together that you decided to finally ask him. His cherry red lips were pressed against your throat, swallowing every last drop of blood that slid down your skin. Your neck stung and your body thrummed with ecstasy, your fingers cupping the back of his head on reflex - moving without your permission.

“Jin?” You asked.

He hummed in response, visibly enthralled by the feed but letting you know he was listening anyway.

“I want to be like you,” You whispered.

A slick pop echoed in the room, his fangs pulled from your neck and retracted into his mouth, disappearing from sight. His eyes narrowed, his dark brows drawing together in confusion and distaste.

“No,” He simply said, retreating to the foot of your bed.

“Why not?”

“Because you would be useless to me, that’s why. What good is a donor that’s dead?” He scoffed.

You couldn’t deny the ache you felt in your chest, the sting that “useless” struck against your heart.

“You’re…you’re going to grow tired of me eventually. I’ll get old, I won’t taste as good anymore. Then, I’ll be useless.”

“Oh, I plan to savor every last drop that you can offer. I won’t let you go to waste like that, you are mine after all.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean? You’ll just kill me before I go bad? Put me out of my misery before I can rot? I’m a fucking human being not a piece of meat!” You yelled, angrily standing up from your bed.

You expected him to become enraged, to become violent. But if anything he was deathly calm, still, and silent.

“Wouldn’t that be a kindness,” he stood from the bed, now towering over you, “To not have to grow older, to be in pain? To just stop here where you’re perfect, when you’re young and beautiful?” He said with a soft caress down your cheek.

“But you could give me what I want,” You pleaded, “You would never have to see me again, I could go far away and I wouldn’t be your problem anymore.”

A frown pulled at his lips, frustration falling over his features, “It’s not as simple as that. You would be bound to me, there are rules about these things.”

“Rules? Like laws, is there someone in charge of you?”

“Don’t bring that Twilight bullshit into this,” He hissed, running his hands through his hair in what appeared to be distress.

“Then I don’t understand, why can’t you do this for me? I’ve done everything you’ve asked! I’ve given you everything you wanted so that I could stay alive! Why can’t you understand that I don’t want to die!”

“Because you don’t understand what you’re asking for!” He snapped.

In that moment, he was brought back to that fateful day all those years ago. Yoongi had warned him, he had tried to stop him and he hadn’t listened. And now, he was being faced with a painful reminder of his naivety and arrogance when he stared back at you. Jin never regretted becoming a vampire. He never regretted his inability to grow old or the only way he was able to satiate his hunger. He enjoyed it. But if there was anything he didn’t enjoy, it was being under the control of someone else.

“We would be connected for the rest of eternity. Anything I ask of you, you have to do. You can’t deny me even if you tried. And even if you ran, you would eventually come back whether you wanted to or not. I would be your sire, your creator, you couldn’t hurt me no matter how badly you want to. We would be stuck together, do you understand?”

If there was anything he was afraid of, which he would never admit to, it would be having to rely on someone like that. It would be loving you, obsessively loving you like he felt the desire to creep over him. While he refused to admit it, all of those feeds had done their toll. He could feel the tugs of a weak bond forming between you - begging to be strengthened by a little of his own blood and a swift death. If you stayed human, he could save you from the fate he suffered through. And if he killed you, then no one else could have you. It was insane, but to him it was incredibly logical.

You had been quiet for quite some time, your face pensive before you finally spoke.

“That doesn’t sound all that different from our current arrangement.”

“Ugh, you’re insufferable!” He yelled, grabbing the closest thing to him and flinging it across the room in a show of strength and anger. So this was what Yoongi felt like.

“You’ve exhausted your usefulness to me,” He spat in rage, “Good luck defending yourself on your own.”

And just like that, he was gone. The only remainder of his presence was the broken chair that lay in pieces on the ground and the huge dent in the plaster from where it had hit.

You couldn’t stop the sudden wave of tears that poured down your face. That had been your only way to cheat death, and he wouldn’t give it to you after you had given him every piece of yourself that he had asked for.

The silence was loud, your sniffles and your pounding heart painfully apparent. But what was even more apparent, was the sense of paranoia steadily creeping over you.

What did you have to defend yourself from now that he was gone?

~~~~~~~

Jin was starving.

Even he was not so thick-headed that he couldn’t see what he was doing. He was throwing a temper tantrum.

He had left you for a month now in what was supposed to be a break that would teach you a lesson. You weren’t allowed to make demands from him, you weren’t the one in control. But if there was anything he had learned from his pathetic plan, it was that you were very much in control.

You had managed to burrow your way into his unwilling, stone cold heart. A feat that no one in his human and vampiric life had managed to do. The very thought itself made his stomach turn. He had never had to depend on anyone else, he never wanted commitment in that sense. Yet here he was yearning for you, a pathetic little hermit. His pathetic little hermit.

He let out an audible groan, collapsing back against one of the velvet couches in the club. The blue and red lights flashed over his face, his stomach rumbled in pain. He had thought it would only take a week for you to break, just a few days before you apologized and begged for him to come back. But he had greatly underestimated you.

It had been a month and he hadn’t fed. Everyone else paled in comparison, their blood sitting on his tongue like spoiled milk; he couldn’t even manage to swallow a drop. And that was completely his fault. This was why he was warned not to keep feeding from the same source. You were bonded now and he was suffering because of it.

He had never felt so backed into a corner before. And the fact that it was all because of a human was just salt in the wound. He thought that time would sever the bond but in reality, distance had just made it grow stronger.

Even now he was certain that he could smell your scent sifting through the hazy air, it’s tendrils beckoning him to come find you.

It was the prick of his fangs against his lip and the sudden pool of saliva flooding his mouth that made him realize it was anything but a fantasy. You were there. A wave of satisfaction rolled over him, you had broken first in a stalemate that you were unaware of. He had won. But any excitement he felt about his win was quickly thwarted when he was reminded of the present danger. You, who smelled so heavenly, had once more crawled into a nest of vampires.

He quickly lurched to his feet, cutting through the crowds of vampires and humans alike in order to find you. You were in the most dangerous spot in Briar Hills and he could not protect you. His abstinence had greatly weakened him, he could only hope that no one else would be aware of that. He was the eldest there and he was in charge, that should be enough to keep everyone else away from you.

Well, all except one.

You hadn’t even seen her coming, her or her “friends.” You had just barely managed to step foot inside the bunker before she was ripping you back outside, moving so quickly that your head was spinning and your neck burned with whiplash.

You moaned in pain, one hand cradling the back of your neck while the other dug into the damp earth in an attempt to ground yourself from the violent pounding that vibrated all throughout your head. At first you were utterly dumbstruck, confused as to what exactly happened. But the swift kick of a pointy shoe to your ribs rolled you onto your back and allowed you to be faced with four pairs of glowing red eyes.

The pain in your head was quickly overshadowed by the hot shooting pain in your ribs. Your spinning head could just barely register the loud crack that had sounded when you were kicked. What looked to be an effortless, swift strike from her was enough to break your ribs.

“Hello sweetheart,” A familiar, sickeningly sweet voice crooned.

It was her, that vampire from a month ago. The one that Jin had saved you from.

Cold shocks ran through your body as you panted, grabbing your side as you tried to scoot away.

“Ah, ah, ah,” She teased, grabbing you by your ankle and roughly pulling you back. Another sickening pop echoed through the night as a violent scream tore its way free from your throat.

“Now, I’m not letting you get away from me so easily this time. You really pissed me off, and now you’re going to give me what I want.”

You had no time to react and nowhere to run to. She and her friends descended on you like a pack of hungry vultures. They ripped at clothing and jostled you around like a toy they didn’t want to share. And all four of them dug into you. With Jin, there had been little to no pain. But this was the worst pain of your life. You could feel teeth digging into you, ruthlessly cutting through your flesh and ripping it apart. Hot, thick blood was pouring out of your wounds, drenching your skin and your clothes in an instant.

There was nothing you could do but scream, cry, and shake.

You were helpless and soon you were going to die. You had no doubt that they had every intention to bleed you dry. You felt like you were on the verge of passing out. Your greatest fear was suddenly becoming a reality and there was absolutely nothing that you could do about it. Death spared no one, especially you.

And for a moment you thought that death really had come for you because the pain was suddenly wrenched away.

You laid there, groaning in pain as you listened to what was happening. You could hear her low, sultry voice, the sounds of hits landing, and a deep, rumbling growl that shook you to your very core. It wasn’t death, but it was a close second. Jin had found you.

You forced yourself to open your eyes and look, you struggled to turn your head but when you did your heart dropped. Half of her group collapsed, in various states of injury. But Jin was the worst. He was barely managing to stand and he looked so weak. His cheeks were gaunt compared to the last time you had seen him, the veins beneath his eyes prominent and exposed. But worse of all, he was coated in his own blood. It stuck to him like an oil spill, pouring from wounds that were trying to heal themselves albeit very slowly. He wasn’t going to make it out of this; he was too hurt, too weak, too hungry, and outnumbered.

“I knew it,” Junghee giggled, her voice pitchy with murderous glee. “I could smell you all over her, you bonded with her!”

Jin said nothing. He wobbled, his chest rose and fell rapidly with angered breaths.

“Oh, how far you’ve fallen, Jin,” She sneered, “So high and mighty and look at you now. You’re no better than the rest of us - in fact you’re weaker than us! I’m so sick and tired of living under you and your rules, I think it’s time someone replaces that coven of yours. It’s time for a new jurisdiction.”

“I’ll give you one chance to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness,” He said with a deathly calm voice.

“I’m going to rip you apart and burn the pieces. And when I’m finished with you, I’m going to drain your little pet dry.” She said with a cocky grin.

Jin hummed in response, his head slightly tilting back as he thought. His eyes seemed to glow even more intensely in the dark, a ring of light shining around his irises as he spoke.

“That’s an interesting idea. Tear each other apart.”

You stared in shock as they immediately obeyed his command. It was mind-control, he could compel individuals to do his bidding. How many times had he used it on you and you had gone on unaware of it?

All four of them turned on one another, rushing at each other with abandon. It looked like they were marionettes, like someone else was controlling their limbs and forcing them to do as he commanded. You watched as the four of them attacked each other, clawing at their friends and prying their limbs from their bodies. The sounds were horrific. You could hear them screaming, crying, gurgling, and begging for it to end as they tortured one another. Black blood sprayed and stained their hands and faces as they ripped each other apart limb by limb.

Your stomach rolled at the sight, your wounds flashed hot with pain, and your ribs and ankle throbbed in sympathy as they violently mutilated each other until they couldn’t reach one another anymore - their limbs dismembered and useless.

You choked down the bile that threatened to escape your throat. They had tried to kill you, they were getting what they deserved. They were going to do the same to you and Jin.

Jin.

You caught sight of the vampire a few feet away from you. He had fallen to the ground after he had issued the command. His body was unnervingly still, his skin ashen and the sickliest pallor you had ever seen. He was dying, you were sure of it. That was something you had thought to be impossible for his kind but here he was proving you wrong. It was possible, but hard to do.

You felt a surge of adrenaline wash over you. You couldn’t let him die, he was your one chance to avoid that very same fate. You needed him just as much as he needed you. If you could help him then he would owe you. You could get the immortality that you were desperate for.

You cried out in pain as you rolled onto your side and crawled to him. Each inch you moved felt like you were being stabbed along the way. Your body was crying in protest but you were on a mission.

When you finally closed the distance between you, you could breathe a sigh of relief. He was hurt badly, but he was still “alive,” if not barely.

You grabbed him by his shoulders and slowly, painfully, dragged him into your lap. Your body threatened to crumble beneath his weight as you guided his head to the open wound on your neck. This was a risk, a really big risk. You were hurt badly and you had already lost so much blood, but you were sure that he would be able to stop.

“Come on, Jin,” You encouraged him, cupping the back of his head with your hand, “Come on drink, you need to drink.”

You felt a cool puff of breath on your neck, his nose slightly skimming over your pulse as the scent of blood pulled him out of unconsciousness. And as soon as he was awake, his predatory instincts took control. He lunged forward, wrapping you up in a vice like grip as he dug his fangs into the already open wound.

You hissed but held still, allowing him to get his fill. He was scarily inhuman at that moment. Jin had fed from you many times, but he had never been like this before. Silent, overbearing, and territorial.

Your eyes began to flutter, they were feeling incredibly heavy and it was becoming hard to keep them open. You had lost too much blood, you were still losing too much blood.

“Jin,” You croaked, “You need to stop.”

He ignored you and continued drinking, only digging his fangs in harder to force more blood from your throat.

“Jin please stop, please,” You cried, “You’re going to kill me!”

When you realized he wasn’t responding, that he was too enthralled by the feeding frenzy, you began to fight. You tugged at his hair, pushed at his shoulders, kicked at him with your good leg but it all was for nothing.

He let out an animalistic growl, squeezing you tighter before roughly shoving you to the ground and pinning your wrists above your head. He groaned in delight as your fighting ceased, as your blood flowed more easily into his waiting mouth.

You were fading fast, your visions steadily beginning to black out around the edges. He was going to kill you, and just like before there was nothing you could do about it. You were utterly helpless.

Your own desires would be your downfall. Just like Icarus, you had flown too close to the sun.

~~~~~~~

When Jin came to, he was confused.

He couldn’t remember anything after he had ordered Junghee and her coven to dismember one another. But when he became aware, he quickly figured out what had happened. Their corpses were sprawled about, their limbs still occasionally twitching.

And you were there, scarily still in his arms with the remnants of your blood on his lips.

He didn’t expect a wave of grief to wash over him. He hadn’t felt that even when his own family died or when he watched them mourn the loss of a son that never truly perished. But the sight of you, your broken body limp in his arms was enough to force a choked sob out of him. It was painful, it was complete and utter despair.

It was in that moment that he realized he did love you. In some horrific twist of fate, he loved you. He once thought that he would be able to kill you, then no one else could have you. But he didn’t anticipate the pain that it would cause him.

A soft, weak flutter halted all grief he felt. It was your heart. Your little human heart was still trying to beat. You could still be saved.

That was how he ended up here, with the only person he knew that could fix you.

“So, this is what you’ve been doing with all your free time.” Namjoon hummed, checking over your vitals.

Jin stayed quiet, nervously clenching and unclenching his fingers. At that moment, he understood what Yoongi went through. If he believed in karma, which he didn’t, he would have been able to appreciate it. This was what he deserved after what he put Yoongi and the fledgling through. But Jin was far more determined to keep you human than his “brother” ever was.

But it was undeniable that he could finally understand him. He finally knew what Yoongi was trying to protect him from all those years ago.

“Junghee really did a number on her. I’ve given her an awful lot of my blood to heal her wounds. It would just take one quick break, Jin. You said it yourself, this is what she wanted.” He mused.

“She’s my pet, nothing more. She’s useless to me as one of us, I want to make her last as long as I can.” He said with a warning glare.

“It’s useless, you know, lying to me. I could smell it on you the second you came through the door. You bonded with her, she’s yours now. Do with her what you will, but she will join us soon. Whether it’s you or me, well that’s entirely up to her. But I have a feeling she would let any of us do it at this point.”

“You wouldn’t-”

“Oh, but I would. Remember this, everything I do is for our family. You helped me with Yoongi, you understood then what I was trying to do. You can keep playing with her for a little longer, but she will join us. Don’t make me command you, Jin.”

Jin’s back stiffened, that familiar tug in his brain was there. That feeling that he needed to fulfill his creator’s wishes. And so, he bought himself some time.

“I don’t think it’s her you need to be worried about,” Jin said, that cocky edge to his voice back once more.

“Oh really?” Namjoon asked, leaning forward in interest.

“When was the last time you checked in on Hoseok?”

Namjoon’s brows furrowed in thought. Jin had got him, this was what he was good at - misdirection.

“Hoseok too?” He mumbled to himself. “Don’t you find it odd that this is all happening now? Yoongi and the fledgling, you and your pet, Taehyung and the little human he keeps in his studio, and now Hoseok? How interesting.”

He knew about Taehyung? But he hadn’t said anything about Jimin or Jungkook. He didn’t know everything. He had two more bargaining chips to buy himself more time.

“Watch over her, make sure she doesn’t hemorrhage. You’ve done a good thing, Jin. Thank you.” Namjoon said before briskly leaving the room - his office that now served as a hospital for you.

He wasn’t so sure that he had done a good thing. He was paying for what he had done to Yoongi now, what would come to him next now that he sold out Hoseok. And what about Jungkook and Jimin, what would happen when he revealed their secrets as well.

That was all he could think about as he waited for you to wake up. Namjoon’s blood was doing a thorough job. He was old and strong and because of that your body was mending itself incredibly quickly.

The only thing he hated was that you smelled like him. It was Namjoon’s blood in your body and because of that you were practically emanating his scent. Your normal heavenly essence was murky in the haze of his creator’s and it would take some time for it to dissipate. He was going to have to live with it for the time being. For now, he needed to figure out how he was going to protect you from the fledgling and from Hoseok. One was hungry and the other was certainly going to be pissed with him.

But if he could keep you like this for a little while longer it was worth it.

Your heart monitor was starting to accelerate, the beeping became loud and frequent. You were awake.

He slowly raised his head to look at you and he felt his stomach drop. You were giving him the thousand yard stare, your frail body tense on the mattress. You were utterly and completely frightened of him.

Your name left his lips in a hushed whisper as he stood, moving closer to your bedside. You shrieked and huddled into the furthest corner that you could.

“Stay away from me!” You yelled, crossing your arms over your chest in an attempt to block yourself off from him.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, his tone the softest it had ever been, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Let me go, I want to leave. I don’t want to see you ever again, I want to go home!” You were rambling now, every frightened word running out of you with a gasp.

“You can’t leave, it’s too late now.” He said apologetically. He had never apologized before.

“I want to leave!” You screamed again, “You tried to kill me! You said you wouldn’t but you did! You lied, you’re a fucking liar!”

“I’m in control now, that’s never going to happen again I swear.”

“You’re a fucking liar!” You screamed again, your words trailing off with a broken sob.

He had felt grief when he thought he had killed you, but now he was experiencing heartbreak. His first, genuine heartbreak. He thought seeing your lifeless body was bad, but this, this was somehow worse.

He was suddenly overcome with the urge to comfort you, to hold you. And so he tried. The second he picked you up you began to writhe, screaming obscenities at him and clawing at his skin. You were trying to do anything you could to get away from him.

The last time he had held you like this, held you this close, he had tried to kill you. Your body and mind were completely in survival mode now and you needed to get away from him.

But he wouldn’t let you budge. He pulled you into his chest and wrapped you in a tight embrace, pinning your arms in between the two of you so that you couldn’t hurt yourself while trying to hurt him. All you could do was scream and cry and writhe but eventually your body went lax when you realized it was pointless. There was no escape.

Your brush with death had only made you more frightened of it. You had met that dark, empty void and the void had stared back at you. What some might have found to be peaceful, you had found to be terrifying. And, as a result, you were terrified of Jin. He had brought you to that void and your body was certain he would escort you back.

“I’m sorry,” He finally said, the words not burning him like he once thought they would for the longest time. “I’m sorry.”

You sniffled as you limply laid in his hold. You could feel the soft touch of his lips against your cheeks, collecting your tears as they brushed by in the lightest of kisses.

“Never again,” He mumbled, “I promise.”

You whimpered once more, the word liar echoing in your mind.

“I’ll give you what you want, I swear. You’ll never be that close to death again, I’ll keep you safe. Just give me time.”

You slightly perked in interest. What you want…what you want. He’ll give you what you want. You tilted your head up at the same time he went to kiss your forehead, only for him to gently kiss you instead. He froze for a moment, still as a statue as he processed what he had done before he did it again, and again, and again. It was like he had discovered a new insatiable hunger that he couldn’t settle no matter how many times he tried.

“I love you,” He admitted so softly against your lips that you thought you had imagined it.

He loved you. He was going to give you what you wanted. You had almost died. He was a liar. Your mind was reeling.

“No one else can have you, not even death can take you away from me; because you’re mine, remember?”

#bts x reader #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #kim seokjin x reader #yandere #yandere bts #yandere jin #bts fanfic #yandere jin x reader #yandere kpop #yandere bts x reader #vampire jin #vampire jin x reader #yandere vampire #vampire bts #vampire bts x reader #predator universe #yandere vampire jin #yandere vampire jin x reader

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foreingersgod · 8 months ago

Text

Is it Casual now? . CC

pairing: caitlin clark x reader

synopsis: you thought you and caitlin were endgame, but now things are starting to feel a bit different

A/N: will be shifting the “ending” of the song so that we can all enjoy a happy ending lol

My friends call me a loser

'Cause I'm still hanging around

“YN come on we’ve had these plans set for weeks now” your roommate complained from her spot on your couch.

life had been so hectic recently and you barely had anytime to hang out with your girls. so when you heard caitlin was going to be out of town for the week and you had work off, you thought to set plans with your roommates to have a movie night and dinner at your place.

“seriously, you’re just gonna ditch us off?” another one of your roommates chimed, slightly irritated. you were scrambling around your apartment, throwing things into your overnight bag for when you arrived at caitlin’s place. “caitlin shoots you one quick text that she’s back in town earlier than expected and you’re immediately at her beck and call?”

you rolled your eyes. you knew what they thought of caitlin, that she was a player and only wanted you for one thing. but to you, it felt different, like she genuinely wanted you there at her side

I've heard so many rumors

That I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch

“she just wants you for a quick fuck, YN”

you’ve heard it all before. and you were very aware of how bad it looked from the outside. caitlin would only reach out late at night, never took you out, never bought you gifts, or offered to come over to your place. no wonder everyone thought you were just a booty call, every possible flag was blazing red.

and you often had your fair share of skepticism when caitlin called you up at 2 am with a “sorry i hadn’t called all week, you down to come over?”. but you always felt so worshipped when you were with her, completely blinded by the attention and false promises.

I thought you thought of me better

Someone you couldn't lose

she fucking stood you up. again.

you were sat at a bar, swirling the contents of your lip stick stained class. the classy black dress you wore suddenly felt suffocating and your eyes welled with tears. you couldn’t stop staring at the blaring 9:30 on your phone, thinking back to your conversation with cait the night before.

cait <3 : yea baby i can do 8:30, how does that bar down town sound?

you : that sounds really nice, see you then :)

it was your fault really, you kept hoping she would change. that maybe one of these dates would actually mean something to her, but after sitting in a bar alone waiting for an hour for her arrival, you were starting to lose your optimism.

sick of waiting, you paid your tab and left, not even thinking of texting caitlin back.

You said, "We're not together"

So now when we kiss, I have anger issues

“i missed you last weekend, cait” you muttered, pushing her face away from the crook of your neck, letting your head fall back against the pillow.

she had sent yet another text to you a few hours ago, asking if she could makeup for standing you up. of course, you gave in immediately.

she had sweet talked you so nicely when you arrived at her apartment. whispering in your ear, leaving trails of kisses down you neck and abdomen, taking your clothes off so gently. but the thought of her possibly abandoning you again lingered in the back of your mind.

“i know, i already said im sorry,” she attempted to seduce you with a kiss to the cheek “am i not showing it well enough?” now a kiss to the jawline.

she knew what she was doing, trying to act all innocent with flattery and kisses. if you weren’t so sick of the back and forth between the two of you, you would have let it convince you.

“cait, please. i want to talk about this”

“what is there to talk about?” her voice, once inviting was now laced with anger and irritation.

“don’t get defensive with me” you sat up, pushing her off your vulnerable body “i’m just trying to tell you that what you’re doing is hurting my feelings”

she looked at you expressionless, fingers rubbing at her temples.

“i want to spend time with you and it hurts when you ignore me and stand me up and-”

“yea, well we’re not together so…” she cut you off sharply.

it felt like a punch to the gut, hearing her say that. yea it was true, you weren’t together, but you don’t just act like the person you’re fucking isn’t worth anything to you.

“wow” you didn’t even know what to say. your eyes stung and you chest heaved with humiliation. did she truly think this wasn’t “together”?

You said, "Baby, no attachment"

“YN i really don’t know what you want me to say…i thought we both agreed that this was a casual thing?” she tried to tell you as you angrily picked up your discarded clothes from her bedroom floor.

“i don’t care what we SAID, caitlin” you stopped, buttoning up your shirt, looking her in the eyes “it’s what we keep DOING.”

“what are you talking about?”

“i know we said this was just a casual thing, but- but things started to change. we…ugh i don’t even know how to say it, but it just feels so different when we’re together. more than a casual hookup.”

she’s looking at you confused, pleading for an explanation.

“like when we hooked up that time after Iowa’s big game, you were knee deep in the passenger seat and eating me out? is that casual?”

she scoffed and rolled her eyes, but you egged on.

“or when your mom invited me to her house on Long Beach last summer? what about that, is that causal now?” your face felt hot as you raised your voice to her. you had surprised your self with these accusations.

“I hate that I let this drag on so long, caitlin, and now I hate myself”

all she did was stare, studying the features of your face. every crinkle in your nose, the way your lips quivered with anger, and every twitch of your right eyebrow was now forever embedded in her mind. she knew you were right, deep down, knew that she had fucked up so bad and that you only hated yourself because of her. she knew that her inability to commit had caused you pain and her avoidance issues had gotten out of hand.

“i’m sorry” she admitted, “i’m so fucking sorry that it hurts”

“caitlin, why? am i truly just a quick fuck to you?”

your question nearly knocked the wind out of her. she stood off the bed and meandered over to where you stood at the door, your pants still undone and your items thrown haphazardly into your overnight bag.

“no,” she breathed “you’re so much more than that”

it’s like you couldn’t speak, unable to do much else other than stare at her quizzically.

“i know i’ve treated you like shit. that i’ve fucked up far beyond fixing”

“so why don’t you show it? why sit here and tell me that it’s ok to ignore me and stand me up because we’re just ‘not together’? i don’t get it cait”

her hands ran over her face in frustration, she hated the confrontation. having to tell you all of this was sending her into a spiral. things were fine before tonight, she was able to do want she wanted and ignore all her feelings. and it all came crashing down the second she had gotten you into her bed, instantly faced with reality. tonight was it. she needed to be honest with you.

“i didn’t think i could love someone as much as i love you” she blurted out, which was followed by a deafening scoff from you.

“i’m serious,” she retorted “obviously i haven’t shown that, i’ve done nothing but be cruel to you. but the moment i met you, i knew you would have some sort of hold on me. and it scared me, YN”

you tried to interrupt, to take another stab at her childish behavior, but she kept going.

“i was so scared that i’d lose you, that you’d see through me and all my issues and eventually realize that i’m not worth having a real relationship with. so i tried to keep my distance from you, tried not to see you so it didn’t absolutely tear my heart apart, but i couldn’t help myself. i needed to have you, just a little bit, so i what it felt like to be loved by you. i just couldn’t risk ruining you, taking away a genuine life that you truly deserve all because i’m fucked up and avoid everything. and hooking up with you, to be completely transparent, has only made it worse because…because now i’ve seen what i actually lost”

“you,” there weren’t any words to express how you felt right now “you don’t need to avoid me, cait, you won’t ruin me. i know what i want in a relationship. it’s you, i want you”

“i’m just scared you’ll finally see past this whole thing and see that you don’t actually want me like that”

“i know you. i know that past this,” you waved your hands, gesturing between the two of you “there’s a different caitlin clark. one who doesn’t undermine herself and recognizes that she’s deserves real love just like how i deserve it. one that can address her commitment issues before they get out of hand like this did. one that won’t stand me up, that won’t shoot me down because she has ‘practice’. i know that the real you is perfectly capable of change.”

“i’m scared.” was all she managed “but i want to do better for you, i don’t think i can be without you, please let me fix this”

it came out as a desperate whisper, almost incomprehensible, but you heard her loud and clear.

“it’s going to take some time…but i’m willing to work on this.”

“i swear to god, YN, i’m going to be so much better. i’m done with the hookups and the late night texts. i just want you. all of you”

your hand found her cheek, pulling her towards you gently to place an intimate kiss on her lips.

“i believe you”

#Spotify #caitlin clark x reader #caitlin clark #wcbb #wcbb x reader #casual #chappell roan

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cuubism · 9 months ago

Note

I'd love something about Dream who's very aware that he's way too intense romantically while also being not intense enough sexually because he's ace. His partners usually prefer it the other way around. If that's something you'd be willing to write (if not that's okay too)

hmm yes, we can always do ace dream. though we didn't quite reach 'aware' 😂 human uni au is what popped to my mind

When Hob gets back from class, Dream is lying facedown on the couch, one long arm trailing morosely down to the floor, face smashed so deeply into a pillow that Hob can only see the tufts of his hair. He seems to have been there for some time, and doesn't move when Hob comes in.

"Horrors insurmountable today?" Hob asks as he puts down his bag and heads to the adjoining kitchen to grab a snack. He'll probably need to grab one for Dream, too, now that he thinks about it. Doubtful he's eaten.

Dream just makes an mmph sound against his pillow. Then, once Hob's returned to the living room with a plate of apple slices, Dream pops his head up, lines all over his cheek from the pillow, fluffy hair going every which way, and says, "How much do you care about sex?"

Hob nearly trips and flings his apple slices everywhere. "What?"

"In general," Dream persists, heedless of Hob's shock. "Do you subscribe to the belief that individuals past puberty, particularly men, think about sex constantly, or is that an exaggeration? Which do you think is more important in a partnership: compatible personalities, or compatible sex drives? And why?"

"What is this, a sociology assignment?"

"Answer, please," Dream insists.

Hob sighs and gives in to the mad questioning. Joke's on him for having an insane roommate. "I thought about sex all the time when I was thirteen, maybe. Right now I'm just thinking about how I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm fucking starving but we're playing Twenty Questions instead of eating. And as to the second one, I don't know, Dream, I think both are probably important."

"So you think about sex an amount you would consider 'frequent'," Dream presses.

Hob's cheeks heat. Sex is not really a topic he wants to discuss with Dream of all people. Those two thoughts don't meld together into anything good for polite company. "I don't know, I guess!? Doesn't everyone?"

Dream lets out a despairing wail and thumps his head back into his pillow. "I am outnumbered."

Hob still has no idea what the hell he's on about. He finally gives up and just starts eating the apple slices. He offers one to Dream, holding it by the corner of his eye until he finally sees it and takes it, turns his head to the side just enough to start nibbling on it.

"You'll choke if you eat that lying down," Hob warns.

Dream begrudgingly pushes himself up, collapsing against the back of the couch, and goes back to nibbling on his apple slice.

"So," Hob continues, awkwardly, when Dream doesn't say anything else, "sex life not going so well, then?"

Dream glares at him, though it's not very intimidating considering the apple halfway into his mouth. "Too well, by most standards," he finally sniffs, and eats the rest of the slice.

"Oh, yeah?" Dream having sex is another thing Hob doesn't really like to think about. Why'd he bring that up again?

"Indeed. I have suitors falling over each other to bed me," Dream says.

Do all classic literature students talk the way Dream does? Hob doesn't know. It's been two years that they've lived together and he's still yet to definitively figure out if it's an affectation or just the way Dream is. He's leaning towards the latter.

Unfortunately, he can believe Dream's statement. Dream is a snitty little prick most of the time, but he's also unbearably beautiful.

"So what's the problem, then?" he asks.

"I don't want them to bed me," Dream says.

Hob's not following. "Say no, then?"

Dream rolls his eyes. "I don't want them to bed me, I want them to want me." His voice loses some of its determination halfway through the sentence, and he looks away.

Ouch. "Sounds like they do want you?"

Dream snorts. "Only so long as it suits them. Only so long as I fit their parameters. Today I spoke to Cori--"

Ah, yes, Cori, Dream's most recent ex-boyfriend. Dream's had a lot of ex-boyfriends, but Cori really tops the list, and not in a good way.

Now that Hob thinks about it, all of Dream's relationships kind of go the same way. Dream comes home after the first date bouncing off the walls with stars in his eyes insisting this person's the one, and within two months the thing's somehow torpedoed into the Underworld and Hob's scraping Dream up off the bathroom floor.

He's starting to see where the initial line of questioning might have come from.

"--and he, at last, was straightforward with me when no one else has bothered to be all this time. I demanded to know, truthfully, why he ended things, and he told me that I 'care too much, but won't put out'--"

Hob winces.

"--which does not make sense, as we had sex frequently? I do not know what else I am meant to be 'putting' and where. I said as much, and he laughed, and said--" he imitates Cori's voice with a surprisingly passable American accent-- "'It only counts if you at least pretend you want to be there, doll. Next time try initiating occasionally.' He left before I could question him further."

Hob doesn't like the picture this is painting. And Dream is looking at him beseechingly, like Hob might be able to explain the bizarre encounter. "So... now you're trying to figure out if your understanding of sex is wrong or something?"

"I felt that, as a neutral observer to the situation, you would be appropriate to survey," Dream says.

(Neutral is a stretch, Hob thinks.)

"So I ask you, Hob Gadling, as a man demonstrably unbothered by 'hookup culture'--"

"Are you calling me a slut?"

"--what do you think is the correct amount that one should care about sex? Because I--" he breaks off, twisting his fingers in his hair, suddenly anxious-- "I do not know what I am doing wrong."

Hob moves to sit beside him, lays a hand lightly on his arm. He's about to say, you're not doing anything wrong, except... that may not precisely be true. At least in terms of how Dream is actually handling it with his partners.

"How much do you care about sex?" he asks.

"Not as much as I am supposed to, evidently," Dream says. Hob just waits for him to elaborate. "Not very much. I prefer not to think about it." He looks at Hob, weary. "Now you will tell me that this is abnormal."

"I don't know what's 'normal'," Hob says. "But it does sound different from how Cori felt about it."

"I suppose," Dream says, sadly.

Hob doesn't particularly like where the intersection of 'I don't care about sex' and 'we had sex all the time' lands him. "If you don't care that much, why keep doing it?"

"It is what is done, is it not?" says Dream. "Besides. I do not mind so much. But even when I do participate, it is still not good enough. Or so it seems."

It's because they're picking up on the fact that you're not really enjoying it, Hob thinks. No one wants a partner who's not engaging. Least not anyone decent. But not saying anything and then just dipping out suddenly is kind of a dickish move, in his opinion.

"Do you want to participate?" he asks.

This seems to give Dream pause. "Mostly I would prefer to do other things. Like. Dates. Only that does not seem much appreciated either." He twists his hands together. "Perhaps Cori is right. I. Care too much."

"No." Hob takes Dream's hands and untwists them. "Cori's a dickhead. You just need to find someone who's on the same page as you, that's all."

"But it seems that book is rather empty," Dream says. He hasn't taken his hands back from Hob.

"Well, was there anyone that you did like having sex with? Or has it always just been--" he can't help but cringe-- "you just putting up with it because you thought you were supposed to?"

"Calliope," Dream says instantly, and Hob lets out a relieved breath. At least it's not all bad. "Because, no matter that it ended poorly... I felt that she truly liked me. And not. Just sex."

"Okay, see?" he says. "You just have to find someone like that."

It... hurts, to try to push Dream into someone else's path. But Hob's long accepted that Dream doesn't feel that way about him. Dream rarely seems hesitant about trying to date anyone he is interested in. Surely if he felt that way about Hob, he would have made it clear by now.

"Someone," Dream echoes, looking down at their joined hands.

"Just because what you want isn't common doesn't mean it's not out there," Hob says, trying to be encouraging. "And hey, if you know now, you can avoid the whole 'not on the same page' rigamarole, hm?"

"Yes," Dream says. "I suppose so." Finally he takes back his hands, instead taking another apple slice from the plate Hob's left on the coffee table and chewing on it slowly.

I would love you right, Hob thinks, unwanted, unbidden. It's not a productive thought, and it's a painful one, too.

"Perhaps I will take a break," Dream decides, though doesn't sound entirely happy about it.

"Could be good," Hob says. "Get your head on right."

"Yes," Dream agrees. "This has been. Illuminating. I thank you for your counsel. I suppose I will have to also thank Cori, 'dickhead' though he may be."

And with that he retreats to his room, still seeming a little off-kilter. And Hob can't help but feel like he's gone wrong somewhere, said something wrong, though he doesn't know where, or what.

#i don't actually know if you specifically wanted dreamling or what whoops #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #my writing #ask #anonymous #ace dream #left it on a cliffhanger goddammit but they just didn't seem emotionally aware enough to confess their feelings then XD

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merakiui · 10 months ago

Note

Fwb Riddle with the prompts "You don't have to leave, you know" and/or "Stay the night tonight" 🥺

AAAA YES YES. OTL

(fwb dialogues)

“You don’t have to leave, you know,” Riddle murmurs, watching you pick up your discarded clothes scattered on the floor. He’s sitting up in his bed, the covers draped lazily over his lap. Awkwardly, he wrings his hands out of nervous habit.

You glance over your shoulder at him, stunned. “I thought you didn’t have time today. You told me so—said you’d rather be studying when I texted you.”

“Yes. Well…” He huffs, averting his eyes. “I’ve changed my mind. So… If it’s not asking too much, stay the night tonight.”

You tilt your head, resting your hands on your hips. “Isn’t there some rule about this in the Queen of Hearts’s law?”

Riddle chuckles, regaining slivers of confidence with every passing second. “There’s nothing in the rulebook that says I’m not allowed to share my space with you. We’re abiding by the rules.”

“Most of the time.”

Riddle blinks at you, opens his mouth to question you, and then clamps it shut. His face explodes with color. He remembers the night well—the party at the lounge. He only went for courtesy’s sake, accompanied by Trey and Cater, and he’d planned to make his rounds, greet everyone in turn, and leave before he missed evening tea. Rule 153 — One must only drink herbal tea in the evenings.

But then someone passed a fruity drink into his hand—something that was so very obviously alcoholic from the look and sight alone—and Riddle had thought himself strong enough to decline. Even though his wits were about him, they crumbled at the sight of you, merrily giggling alongside Kalim and indulging in the type of mindless fun he’s never had the chance to know. He’s never needed to rely on liquid courage or anything like it; he derives enough confidence from the ever-present fear of failure and that keeps him going.

But this was different, and it wasn’t very secretive to the keen eyes of his friends and dorm mates.

Cater had nudged Riddle, grinning encouragingly. “You literally never get to see (Name) outside of class. Now’s your chance! Go make Cay-Cay proud and talk a bit.”

Riddle flustered outright. “I’ve no idea what we’d even talk about!”

“The upcoming exam,” Trey prompted with a half-shrug. “Nothing gets people talking faster than when it comes to exams they aren’t looking forward to.”

For once Riddle doesn’t find academics an appealing conversation subject. But he hadn’t had time to deliberate because Cater looped arms with him and skipped over in your direction.

Riddle learned two very valuable lessons that night. One: Never drink wine in copious amounts no matter how delicious it is. Two: Never hook up anywhere near or in the Mostro Lounge.

It’s been months since that party, an irresponsible mistake on his part, and he’s arguably closer with you than he’s ever been. Physically, perhaps. Emotions are…difficult. Neither of you signed up for the emotional benefits. Just the sex. Sometimes he wishes there was more. Rule 53 — One must replace anything stolen.

But how can you do that when you’re not aware of the thing you’ve unintentionally stolen?

Riddle surfaces from that rumination, refusing to dignify that with incoherent, embarrassed sputtering. Instead, he simply says, “Certain situations call for…exceptions.”

“Is that what I am?” you ask, stepping into your underwear. Riddle’s gaze traces the length of your legs. “An exception to the rules? Last I checked there’s no rule saying we can’t kiss.”

“And there aren’t any rules prohibiting you from staying either.”

You pause, half-dressed. “No, I guess not… I don’t want to ruin your study time, though. I may be an exception, but I don’t want to be a distraction.”

“We could study together.”

“You’re the only guy I know who’d study after sex.”

Riddle bristles. “W-What else am I meant to do?”

An amused smile curls on your lips. You cover the distance to the bed and lean over to meet him. He stares at you, swept up in your charm. You’re everything his mother would object to. Your relationship doesn’t suit that of normal, standard love (because it’s not), but it’s his choice and no one, not even the rules or his mother, can influence that. It’s messy and imperfect, but it’s all his.

“You could try talking to me,” you offer, your face within kissing distance. “Not about school or dorm stuff. But about you.”

Oh.

Yeah, you’re right. He could try that.

#twisted chit chat #meraki dialogues

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vlrspace · 2 years ago

Text

cw: this is just a small fluff with a slightly bold! 3rd year deku. enjoyy

wc: 4.1K

an: first published fanfic ever, so i’m aware it isn’t the best but we’ll improve.

aizawa’s voice fills the room, most focusing and actually taking down notes, while some are trying to fight to stay awake and doodle. not that you’re dropping into the latter, but lately more and more rabbit like doodles fill up the margins of your book.

it isn’t necessarily that you aren’t listening to what aizawa is actually saying and you don’t care about your grades, but lately funny emotions are erupting in your heart and you’ve been feeling a little bit off.

you are well aware what these feelings are, what more like who causes them and how they were born. however the timing was quite bad, you would’ve been happier if these feelings would’ve come later. in the future when it’s easier to get over your probably unrequited feelings for a boy everyone adores. not that it’s a problem, of course everyone is adoring him, he’s such a sweetheart with a kind nature and his aspiration to become a hero is a huge influence to those around him.

honestly, you couldn’t blame midoriya izuku for being blessed with nothing but good traits. he’s always lending a hand if you’re in need of help with school or training. he’s asking how are you doing at every chance he sees you, gives you an ear if you want to talk, and often he circles his muscly arms around you to pull you closer to him if you need some comfort.

you often wondered if he treated everyone else like this or if it’s just you? although it’s better if that question remains unanswered for your poor little heart. you are already overthinking, your brain is like an ocean, overflowing with thoughts till you zone out completely. barely realising how mina came to stand beside your table asking you if you wanted to grab lunch.

“you have been in your own world lately” tsu says with slight concern laced in her tone. you shoot her an apologetic smile.

“i apologise, sometimes i get carried away and just zone out completely. i am not intentionally ignoring you girls” you beam, hoping your answer is enough for them to not continue on pressing the topic.

maybe though, your answer had been half a lie. you are somewhat ignorant when you’re day dreaming and zone out completely, hoping that the green haired hero-in-training wouldn’t talk to you unless necessary.

mainly, since your second and now your third year at u.a. started, izuku had been through a growing spurt. he’s no longer smaller than most boys in your class but he’s 6 foot something and his hair is tamed with a little undercut. he’s more buff, broader and easily towers over most, even if he doesn’t mean it to come off intimidating. to say he’s gotten hotter is an understatement.

of course, his personality hasn’t changed drastically but he grew a bit more confident in himself and bold as well. he’s still stumbling over his words at times and gets flustered with blood red cheeks but it’s getting rare.

“ohh, what’s on your mind (y/n)? do you want to talk about it?” ochaco offered, her cheeks flushed with slight redness as always as her eyes gazed on you warmly.

“it’s just school and training i guess” you answer softly as you all make your way down to the lunch hall. “thank you though” you give the girls a side hug as you all walk towards the lunch hall.

when you got there, the girls separated to walk towards their own little groups and you cluelessly stood there, not knowing who to join, you’re friends with everyone. without thinking you grabbed mina’s arm asking if you could join her and the bakusquad. she took a hold of your hand while grinning at you, she lead you towards their table.

“(y/n), it’s so good you’re joining us, we dared kaminari to eat bakugous usual lunch” kirishima laughs with sero, wiping their tears. at least jiro covers her mouth hiding her laugh.

so this is how lunch went, bakugou smirking victoriously, kaminari chucking water after water to sooth the spice left in his throat and the others chuckling and eating. plus the nagging thought at the back of your head that a pair of eyes are watching you from afar, but every time you looked around you didn’t see anyone. bakugou must’ve noticed this sitting next to you as he gave you a look.

“are you paranoid or something, shorty?” he smirks as he somewhat softly pushes your shoulder.

“no, i’m not! just my quirk is acting up.” you mumble looking down at your finished lunch. “anyways should we head back to class? the bell rings in a few minutes” you suggest as you start to stand up from your table and thankfully the others follow.

the second you get to class and take a seat, you let out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding, and just as you were about to relax, izuku walks in with shoto, talking about something and his eyes find yours, giving you a wide smile.

oh no, now he’s walking towards you.

“are you alright (y/n)? ochaco and tsu told me during lunch that you’ve been kind of out of it because of school and training. is there anything i can help you with?” izuku stops next to your desk and gives you a wide smile, eyes bright green. why is he looking so intently in your eyes?

you swiftly collect yourself turning to look ahead of you thinking what to say without messing your words up before finally answering his question quietly.

“i’m alright, thank you” you turn to look up at him and he’s smile is smaller, eyes filled with concern. “are you okay?” you ask finally giving him a smile, but his answer goes unheard when aizawa walks in the room and izuku hurries to his seat, muttering a small sorry towards you.

for the second time today, you let out a sigh from deep within you.

nothing interesting happens after that, apart from you bolting from your seat towards the door and quickly make your way towards your dorm room. you catch up with studying and went on a small jog around campus. after a lovely shower, feeling so much better without all the sweat underneath your clothes, an empty stomach is the only thing stopping you from going to bed.

kaminari, sero, kirishima and mina are all shouting, seemingly in a harmless argument as you walk in the common room. you turn towards shoto who was leaning against the wall and ask him what is all the commotion about. he gives you a gentle smile while explaining how the four is arguing about what movie to watch, all four having different ideas in mind. you let out a small laugh, and you start engaging in a small conversation with the bi coloured boy.

the feeling of being watched is returning and you looking around, subtly not wanting to catch shoto’s attention. again, nothing seems to be out of place. maybe you are being paranoid just like bakugou said.

your conversation with shoto is cut off when you feel a presence behind you, causing shoto to look up from you and you turn around. izuku is standing behind you, he’s smiling like always but he’s eyes look a tad different, darker. but it’s probably from the lighting, he’s looking down at you and it’s his hair, shadowing his eyes. yes that’s it.

“the others decided on the movie we are watching. lets go and sit down.” izuku’s hand is already on your lower back, gently pushing me towards the sofas.

“oh okay, what movie are we watching?” you ask, turning slightly towards him, hoping he doesn’t see the slight blush on your face.

izuku answers your question, as you both sit at the edge(!!) of the sofa, ochaco turns to you excitedly, explaining how one of the actors is her celebrity crush. the lights get turned off while you’re focused on your conversation with her, mainly because izuku is sitting next to you, your heart is going wild, you hope he doesn’t hear it, the butterflies in your stomach are doing flips and you feel sick just from the sitting next to him. you got it bad for the green haired male, but you’re only just realising how bad it is.

izuku on the other hand, he isn’t any better than you. he got his eyes on you for a while now, and is absolutely smitten by you. he thinks you’re absolutely stunning, everything about you is pretty (according to him, pretty doesn’t even come close to how good you look - that’s what he said to the dekusquad), but he’s even more attracted to how amazing you are on the inside. you’re smart, considerate and kind to everyone, you’re helpful, a good listener and so on.

he loves being around you, being with you, having you around, he yearns for you, he wants to touch you, hold your hand, kiss your lips, stroke your cheeks, holding you in his arms. he wants to take you out on dates, study with you, train with you, introduce you to his mum, just spending more time with you would make him the happiest man alive.

izuku is more than aware of the fact that everyone in the class knows about his crush on you. he’s thankful that no one said a word about it to you though. what makes him a little bit worried is that no one seems to know if you got a crush on anyone, you always seem so indifferent when the topic is brought up. he would totally understand it as well if you tell him that you don’t feel the same.

at the same time, izuku knows that if he wants to get answers and even if there is a slight chance of you liking him, he needs to step up his game. so after a few pep talk with his renewed friend kacchan and girl best friend ochaco, he became a bit bolder when it came to interacting with you. hugging you, lingering touches here and there and after seeing how you reacted the first few times, he continued on.

because honestly, you look so cute with the slight blush on you cheeks and the way you shyly smile and look away from him. so when the movie is halfway in, he puts his arm on the couch behind your head, causing your side pressing against his toned torso. izuku can feel you stiffen slightly but after a while you ease up and lean back to him, not fully but it made izuku’s heart beat faster and his cheeks are slight flushed. ochaco gives him a quick look with a tiny smirk before turning back towards the tv.

izuku hopes he hasn’t ruined anything between you two with this, but he would’ve talked to you tonight either way about how he’s feeling. he also didn’t want kacchan to tell you about his feelings because the ash blonde boy was too tired of hearing about the lovesick thoughts his friend (we all know they are!!) bombarded him with. he also knows that you’ve been somewhat avoiding him for some reason, he’s not an idiot and his heart can’t take it anymore.

so tonight, izuku will confess to you and he hopes you’ll accept him.

as the movie is coming to an ending, the lights come back on, izuku’s arm is still behind you with his hand now slightly next to your face. you’re heart is beating even faster, knowing that this display will be seen by all of your classmates. on your right, izuku doesn’t seem all that fazed, talking with ochaco, tsu and iida about the movie. for some reason that makes you blush so very dark, you can practically feel your face growing hot at how he’s not afraid of others seeing you two like this.

a hand is slightly brushing against the edge of your shoulder and you turn around to face izuku, who’s looking down at you, beaming.

“what did you think of the movie?” he’s gently stroking your shoulder now, his eyes only focusing on you.

“ah uh, the movie was, uh very good. i enjoyed it a lot” you stutter ripping your eyes away from him but before you could say anything else, you hear a few snicker from next to you causing you to look around the room. everyone is looking at you excitedly, some are smirking and mina is holding her phone towards you and izuku.

oh no, she must’ve taken a picture.

you turn swiftly to look at izuku, who’s looking at you, his face calm, eyes warm and somewhat lidded, lips curled in a small smirk. your eyes are wide in contrast and your lips form a small ‘oh’. your face definitely looks like a tomato, you’re sure of that, you let a nervous laugh.

“i’m going to go to the bathroom” you excuse yourself as you stand up, already missing the warmth of izuku’s hand on your shoulder. you hear someone call after you, but you are almost running towards the elevators at this point to get to the safety of your room.

the second you walk through your door, you rush in and flop on your bed and grab your pillow, shouting into it. now for sure everyone know about your feelings for izuku and you’re even more confused about what he’s feeling towards you at this point, but at the same it felt so good being so close to him. is there actually a chance that he feels the same as you?

while you’re planning on hiding away in your room forever, a knock is heard on your door.

“it’s open” you mumble from under your pillow, not even bothering to see who came in.

“hey girl, did i take it too far?” you feel the bed dip as mina lays down beside you. you take the pillow from your face and throw it at hers, she catches it and laughs.

you turn towards her, eyes a bit glossy but you give her a smile. “no you didn’t, just…you see, uh” you trail off not knowing how to tell her your feelings for izuku. after a few minutes she starts talking.

“i know that someone is going to confess to you tonight” you sit up as soon as you hear that and look at her with the widest eyes ever “but you never told us who you have a crush on or if you even like someone, you know.” she sits up too and starts stroking your arm, it doesn’t feel as good as izuku’s. “i don’t want to put you and the other person into an uncomfortable situation so please tell me (y/n)”

this took you off guard, you never expected anything like this. someone in your class likes you, and you hope it’s izuku. you’re kind of hesitating to tell mina about your crush though. it’s not that you don’t trust her, you simply have a hard time opening up about it.

“i like izuku.” your voice is so small, she can barely hear it. mina can barely contain her smile though, she needs to go through this without letting you know anything. the others are probably having a harder time with izuku anyways, who’s downstairs having a crisis.

izuku freaked out the second you left, knowing he messed everything up and took it too far. everyone was trying to calm him down while he held his face in his hands. izuku loved having you so close to him in the past hour, you felt so warm and soft, but he never meant to make you feel like you had to run away from him because you didn’t like being around him

suddenly kirishima swings his arm around him as he plops down on the armrest. his phone is open in the messages app and shows izuku the last message. izuku reads it, his thought going wild and so is his heart, he cannot believe it.

meanwhile, mina puts her phone away, while you put yourself together a bit. you often turn to look at her and she gives you a reassuring smile. she knows you must be a little bit confused and anxious what the rest of the night will bring you, but she also knows that by the end of the night, you’ll be the happiest human alive, that alone made her happy.

“okay, i think i’m ready to go back” you stand in front of your door, fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt. “i hope the others won’t be mad at me for storming out”

“no need to worry about that babes” mina hugs you then you two leave your room, her arm linked with yours.

when you reach the common room, everyone is talking and some of the boys are playing games, like nothing happened. kirishima came up to you two, taking you both under his arms.

“you two will miss out on the competition. we are trying to find who’s the king of mario kart-“ “it’s me you idiots” “of course you are bakubro! i feel like he’ll blow up the console if he doesn’t win” kirishima whispers the last bit to you two, causing you all to snicker.

you feel like you’re being watched for the third time today and suddenly you’re reminded about what happened not just long ago. you look around to see if izuku is still around or maybe you completely ruined everything and now he doesn’t want to talk to you or be around you. before worry could fill you up, your eyes meet with his emerald ones from the same couch you two were sitting on. you shot him a small smile and he’s eagerly sending you one back and then you turn your attention back towards mina and kirishima, trying to focus on them.

ten minutes later, you are somewhat engrossed in the conversation about music with jiro, you feel him before he makes himself known, jiro excuses herself quickly as you turn to look up to izuku from your seat. he gives you a warm smile, but his eyes are nervous, voice a bit shaky when he asks you “let’s go and talk somewhere private, yeah?”

you only nod, following him outside and into the back garden of the dorms and you two take a seat on the bench, facing the building. there is a slight tension, and it’s a bit uncomfortable for you both but then izuku starts speaking.

“i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable during the movie or any other time” he starts of quietly “i didn’t mean any harm, ever, i just wanted to be closer to you. you always make me feel so warm and happy like i’m always on cloud nine (9). you’re so amazing, smart, kind and pretty too! “you turn towards him, indecisive if it’s a good thing that he says all of this or a bad thing and he’s about to reject you. either way your heart is in your throat “oh my, you’re so pretty, i always dream about you. i ache for you (y/n), every time we are together i feel whole. i admire you for your patience towards others, your drive to be a hero and you always know how to make someone smile. i will make you smile every day too, if you take me (y/n), i adore you so much, i feel like i’ll burst” he ends his confession and turns your way, eyes teary and cheeks red, you haven’t seen izuku like this in a while.

the person mina said will confess to you tonight is izuku, you have a fat crush on izuku! now that’s mind blowing.

your thoughts are everywhere and nowhere, and you know the longer you stay silent and the worst izuku will expect to happen. you gather your thoughts as fast as you can and turn fully towards him.

“i adore you so much too izuku” your words are barely audible, he can barely make it out what you’re saying, but when he does, his eyes go wide and you let a giggle out. that seems to bring him back, giving you a small smile. “we could burst together” it comes out more of a question, you’re returning his smile.

at that his smile gets wider and circles his arms around you, pulling you extremely close. he tucks his face into your neck and you swear you feel tears running down from his face. when he pulls away, one of his hands find the side of your face, and presses his lips on yours. your arms round his neck and fingers disappear in his curls, his hands make their way down to your hips. his tongue swipes across your lower lip, asking for permission and you gladly gave it to him.

izuku didn’t intend on leaving your lips till you both are breathless but you leave first, making him chase after your lips and you let out a soft giggle, which makes him smile. you pull away a bit to look up at him, still not believing that he feels the same way as you. you take in his face, eyes lidded and dark, face slightly red and lips plump, slightly wet. he leans in a gives you a long peck before pulling away, moving so you sit on his lap. you play with the curls on top his head, seemingly deep in thought and izuku decides to pop the question.

“i would really like it if you became mine” he whispers, one his hand finds its way to you cheek again, caressing it. the smile on your face becomes bigger, looking at those emerald eyes that swirl in nothing but pure love and adoration.

“i would love that” you give your answer, which he was probably waiting for, quite long time. the second the words leave your lips, he stands up and twirls you two around, making both of you laugh. he sets you down on the ground and kisses you again, this time with more passion. “let’s go back inside, mina’s and ochaco’s eyes will pop if they stare out on the windows any longer” you snicker.

izuku takes a hold of your hand and you walk next to each other, both of you still trying to process everything that just happened. when you woke up, you did not expect tonight turn out this way. you look down at your fingers being laced with his, and trying not blush at the fact how his fingers were twice the size of yours.

when you two arrive back at the common room, everyone is pretending like they are doing something but when they see your hands, the girls crowd around you, all of them giving you a hug, while the boys shake izuku’s hand. the girls bring you aside, asking you to tell them everything because they did see bits, but didn’t hear anything. you gently squeeze izuku’s hand, silently letting him know that you’re leaving and he squeezed your hand back with a smile.

you’re in the middle of the story, the girls surrounded around you as you all took up a whole couch the farthest one away from the boys, when you feel like you’re being watched again and this time you found who the pair of eyes belong to.

izuku is sitting on the couch, all of the boys around him as well and they are all talking to him but his eyes never leave you. izuku couldn’t even focus on anyone else right now even if he tried, he feels like he’s high on ecstasy. the girl he’s been pining for a year now, wants him as much as he wants her. he’s yearning for real this time, and he know he won’t be able to get enough of her soft lips, gosh he’s thinking about kissing them right now. when he had you in his lap, so close to him, he wishes he could hold you just as close again. the butterflies in his stomach must be rioting because when you look back at him, he knows you feel just like how he does.

and you never felt so safe and loved under a gaze like that before.

(a few days later, izuku’s background on his phone changed from all might to the picture mina took of the two of you)

#deku x reader #izuku midoria x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #bnha x reader #midoriya x you #deku x you #izuku x you #midoriya izuku x you

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softerglow · 9 months ago

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honestly

There's some things I need to acknowledge before I carry on here, because there's some patterns I fell into that have hurt me a lot.

Right now, I'm not doing well. I've been skipping classes, handing in assignments late. I'm grappling with living on my own for the first time in a city without my family, without those complicated relationships that I used to lean on for support when things got bad.

For the first time, my life is well and truly my own. I've been given a really cushy start. An investment account large enough to be the down payment on my first home, a private education, good looks, good health. And I'm still struggling despite the silver spoon.

I find myself trying to twist myself into someone I'm not and I think it's ruined me. The desperation to fit in, to be liked, to be admired has hurt me in ways I wouldn't wish on anyone. But I worry most of us have felt it.

I want to be better suddenly became I want to be good enough. Over and over again, I want to be good enough.

Who am I anymore? And who am I doing this for? The joy and creativity that used to flow through me when I did my makeup in the morning is gone, all I can see is the texture in my skin. My hair is healthy, but it doesn't look like that silky drape you see on Pinterest. I feel ugly when I wear my glasses but my eyes are so itchy and dry from wearing contact lenses every day for months on end.

I keep thinking that accepting myself makes me complacent in how imperfect I am, but these standards are ridiculous. I can see that now that I've truly passed rock bottom.

I've done my best to keep aware of misogyny plays into the beauty standards I'm chasing. I want to remind everyone of that. To be taken seriously in society, women have to hold themselves to a higher standard than men.

We have to be more qualified, more conventionally attractive, richer, smarter than the men around us to reap a fraction of the benefits they do from our society. And as a cis white women, I cannot begin to imagine how that pressure feels those with more marginalized identities.

I want to continue, but the fact of the matter is that I can't carry on without acknowledging the cognitive dissonance I'm experiencing. Life isn't pink bows and green smoothies and staring at this dashboard I've made for myself, I've turned self improvement into an obsession. It's become escapism and it's made me sick and I feel awful that I may have been a part of this same cycle for others.

There's no way to conform to beauty standards without it being problematic, but things aren't going to change overnight. We need a way to start improving what we can in the meantime.

I'm taking some time to figure out my next step. I'm sorry if this was boring or rambling, but it's been on my mind for a while.

#softerglow #that girl #productivity #self improvement #wellness #self love #it girl #self care #clean girl #glow up

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moyazaika · 4 months ago

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Professor.

One of the most disgusting things that exists in this world is the human mind. The human mind is the source of all bad things humans do, consciously and unconsciously. It’s where we have our darkest and most private thoughts. It’s also the place where we have our involuntary thoughts. The thoughts that you have, the ones that you disagree with, but still have because they are as true as your disagreeing ones.

I hated the college that I went to. Not because it was a bad one, it was one of the best, but because I was always surrounded by people who thought they were better than everyone else. People that would look at the “lower” colleges and think about how stupid those people must be if they only got into “that one”. The teachers weren’t much better. No matter how much some of them try to deny it, they will always feel a sense of superiority compared to other college professors, because they work at this one. They also feel a sense of superiority over the students, which doesn’t go unnoticed by new arrivals. When you are new to a space, you go in more aware of what is going on. People that have studied there long enough get used to how people view them, or in this example how teachers view them. But new arrivals, they notice how the teachers always seem to have a hint of……well….as if they are speaking to a child when they speak to them. Making the new arrivals feel belittled.

Humans can ignore a lot of things, but being belittled seems to always strike a nerve.

I never wanted to return to the campus. It’s a beauty to the eye and an annoyance to the mind. But business is business. If this could even classify as that.

They wanted me to work here. Despite my distaste for the school and most who stepped foot on it, I was a great student even for their high standards. Since a young age I’ve strived to always want to know more, but I wasn’t a young genius (a common lie teachers tell about me when they brag that I was in their class, no matter what grade). I was smart, sure, but only when I applied myself, which wasn’t often. I only cared to study things I wanted to, anything else that I “needed” to study, well…I nearly failed a few grades. And the things I wanted to study were either not part of what we needed to study, or they were things teachers considered far too “advanced” for me.

Looking back, I can’t blame them. Who would encourage a ten-year-old to learn a new language when they were failing the grammar of their first language?

My interests always revolved around the same things. I loved reading books, so I wanted to read as much as possible, meaning I knew a lot of random things. And despite what some self-proclaimed “educated” people say, reading fiction is actually quite good for you. It helps you be more empathetic, increases your vocabulary, and makes you understand people even more.

(The first one is quite useless if you plan to go to the same college as me. You’ll get stepped on like a cockroach by overly polished shoes that cost more than your rent if you act to nice and understanding. Fair warning.)

I know it sounds like I’m honking my own horn. “oh, look at me, I was smart as a kid but my teachers didn’t notice. I went to a top college and am an ungrateful bitch, wow”.

No. I hate that some people know that I have a good head on my shoulders. You can’t play dumb when you want to. You think too much when you are like that, too self-aware of what you are thinking and what that means.

I had that as a kid too. I was always hyper aware of people and what they were thinking. I had what some people would say an exceptionally high emotional intelligence from a young age. I could know exactly what someone was feeling from watching them, and I could guess what the cause what, even if I barely knew them. That always helped me in school a lot, avoiding fights, stopping fights, and getting on the good side of the scary people.

But I’m getting off topic.

Long life story short, I became a “genius”. I learned multiple languages for fun on my own time because that was what interested me. I wrote stories because that was what interested me. I studied languages and psychology because that was what interested me. I got into this college and did well when I applied myself. Well enough so that years later, when I did well with my books that they wanted me to do lectures.

I wanted no part in it. But my favorite teacher, Mrs. Welling, asked me personally to at least talk to Mr. Rossi. Mrs. Welling was the only teacher I liked past elementary. She is as old as the books in the library. Her skin is withered like the paper too. So, I came. It’s hard for me to say no when people that I actually like ask me to do something. Something I’m also hyper aware of.

…

I knocked on the door to his office, a little sign on the door with neat black font saying “Mr. Rossi”.

“Come in” I never met the dude, but I knew it was him, it was a male voice, and you could just hear from those two words alone what kind of person he was, and wanted to be. You could hear that he well educated and tried to seem even more educated. You could hear the hint of an accent that he desperately wanted to hide. You could also hear he was young, late twenties. Though I guess that last one it unfair since I already knew that about him. He was a new teacher to the school, and Mrs. Welling had told me about him in the letter she wrote (she’s one of those old women that send letters with pressed flowers from their personal garden).

I opened the door and looked around.

The entire room was made of wood. The walls were beautifully carved with dark wood, candles littered all around lighting up all the books on the shelves (all bound with leather or cloth, a professor would never dare have a modern looking book in their office). Despite the room having no windows it was well lit with all the candles. It smelled like, you guessed it, burning candles, paper, and……a cologne. I tried not to grimace at the smell. It smelled nice, but I never liked the smell of cologne when I didn’t expect it. I got used to it quickly.

It reminded me off all the other rooms in the school, not specifically from the layout, but the feel. The type of place you could go mad in if you were mentally well.

Mr. Rossi was sitting at his desk, smiling. He had dark brown hair that reached his shoulders, styled in a “messy way” that looked good. He had dark eyes with lashes that any woman would envy, and thick eyebrows. And sun-kissed skin, but not in the orange glowing way, the type that is dark and cold. Like the sun has touched his skin but not his soul. If I had to make a guess, he was Italian.

“You’re early, are you actually interested? Didn’t take you as the type to play hard to get and then seem interested.”

I looked at him with my usual expression, nothing. An expression that has protected me from all the wolf in sheep’s clothing at this school.

“No, I just hate being late, and the sooner I get this over with the sooner I can work on my next book.”

He smiled at me, I hated that I knew what that look in his eyes meant. I missed my house, somewhere to be alone.

“Please, take a seat, I was hoping that I could convince you to truly be interested in my offer.”

I sat down and debated quickly how to sit. He’s a smart man, so he’ll know however I sit will indicate how I feel. I decided to sit straight with my hands laying on top of each other in my lap. Indicating that I’m not relaxed, or comfortable, but that I’m not resorting to self-soothing behavior that would indicate weakness. Though my hands desperately wanted to rub together.

He stared at me, still smiling, and I stared back at him. I knew what his eyes meant, his politeness couldn’t get rid of it. He was interested. Not in getting me to work here, though he also would benefit from that, but he was interested in me as a ….concept? thing? It’s hard to tell sometimes.

“You’re quite an intriguing case you know.”

I didn’t respond.

“Most students when they get out can’t wait to talk about their time here, some wishing they could have stayed longer. Or at the very least brag any chance they get. But you never once mentioned it publicly. Not in your books, interviews, anything.”

“That’s my private life, I see no reason to bring it up in my work.”

Stop looking at me like that. Stop looking at me like that.

He was curious, he wanted to pick apart my brain, he wanted to know what I was thinking, he wanted to know what I was feeling, he wanted to know know know know know know.

“You know the students here often say you are one of the few real writers in this generation. They could really benefit from having someone like you in lectures.” He used an encouraging tone, one you would use to encourage a child to try a new hobby.

“I don’t care much for teaching, and I don’t agree with their opinion. There are plenty of great writers in this generation. I’m hardly a rarity.”

“Modest as ever,” He praised, “but they are saying the thing everyone else agrees with. So, you’re outnumbered there.”

He leaned backwards in his chair a little and continued,

“You never advertised your books, just published them under a pen name and left them, not caring if people read your books or not, just wanted to publish them. Not like the money hungry “great” writers that you speak of. You’ve never done anything to try and get you more money. The only interviews you’ve ever done were when people wanted advice and help from you, or to understand your stories more, you don’t care for advertising. You-“

“Me not advertising myself doesn’t mean I’m great, and as much as I would usually prefer professionalism, I would prefer now if you stopped trying to praise me into saying yes to your offer.”

I hated it I just wanted to leave. Both because I knew I didn’t want the job, but because I knew too much of what he was thinking. Being hyper aware of people’s thoughts is never fun. And being hyper aware of your own is even worse.

He looked at me….in…. that way……I…..stop thinking about that and move on, get away around it already for fucks sake.

I interrupted him before he could say anything.

“Thank you for the praise, and you can tell your students that I appreciate it, but I’m not interested in working here or any other teaching job. Not even for a few short lectures. I like my private life, and I’m not interested in anything that deviates from that.”

He smiled. He didn’t fail to smile once.

“I understand. And I agree, that being professional will only drag this out, so I’ll get to it a little.”

He leaned forward, in a way that tries to impose authority.

“You fascinate me, as you already know.”

I didn’t deny that, waiting for him to continue.

He pulled out a book as he continued to speak, “One of the main things that teachers often pointed out when looking back on the time you spent here was that you are very perceptive. I looked into your files and saw that you avoided a few….incidents…because you detected the signs. Good intuition.”

He flipped through the book as he spoke, the book had no cover title to show what it was about.

“Darlings that are that aware tend to try and avoid dark topics, their minds already occupied with such thoughts, but you seemed more than interested in those thoughts. Your library check outs show that you were highly interested in books about psychology, specifically darling psychology, though you had more than the average amount of books on the OTHER psychology.”

He listed a few off in the book he was looking at. The book was about me clearly.

He looked at me again, trying to search my eyes for what I was thinking, and when he didn’t find what he was looking for he continued.

“You seem to also have a high level of empathy, not just in your general EQ score but some of your personal essays.” He flipped through a few pages of what I assumed were those essays.

“You seemed to have a very understanding view of you-know-what’s, explaining the different reasons they feel the ways they do, both biological reasons and psychological reasons. You never villainized them like how some others do.”

He looked in my eyes again, searching for something, “why is that?”

I stared back at him.

“…. understanding and open-minded.”

He smiled, but it seemed more real this time, “you really are a sweetheart behind those dead eyes of yours.”

I was getting nervous, it didn’t show, but I felt it. I was becoming more and more aware of our surrounding, his breath, his movements, and what I picked up on him. And I became more and more aware about what I was feeling.

“Did you ever read “The Lying Heart” by Emily Gatsby?”

“Yes, it’s a study on how some darlings develop an attachment to “certain” people, despite them being aware that those feelings are wrong. No doubt you already knew that I read that book from my records.”

“You seemed fond of that book, no?”

“She’s a great writer, and her research was amazing, even though it wasn’t appreciated at the time.”

He nodded.

He closed the book before looking at me.

“why didn’t you press charges against the man that tried to kidnap you?”

…

I didn’t answer and didn’t plan to.

I got up.

“This seems to have went down a few wrong turns, Mr. Rossi. I came here out of politeness to listen to you offer me a job I don’t’ want. Instead, you go in circles about me and then bring up private business from when I studied here. I’ll be leaving now.”

He hadn’t been going in circles, he was going straight down a path that I never wanted him to reach the end of.

I walked to the door and already had my hand on the handle, when he said it,

“You’re “a lover’s dream”, aren’t you?”

I froze.

I heard him laugh, and I turned around I saw that he had also gotten up from his seat and made his way to me but kept a good distance between us.

I contemplated my actions,

“You’re incorrect.”

“now don’t try to lie no-“

“I’m a “Darling’s Self hell”.”

Saying it out loud made me have to silently accept all the thoughts I was having the whole time. The way that I thought he was attractive from the beginning. The way that despite how much I hated the way I felt preyed upon by his eyes that tried to look into my soul, I found it highly attractive. The way that I liked how he gave off an air of threat, of danger. Not the danger to me physically, or mentally (technically), but the attraction of danger.

He smiled, but this time it was a real smile, a wolf like smile that I still found attractive,

“I’m glad we finally stopped beating around the bush. Now….where does that leave the two of us? You already know I’m infatuated with you, and I know that you have an unwanted attraction to me.”

He approached me a bit more, I walked around him, keeping a distance and avoiding a door being behind my back.

“I don’t plan to kidnap you, that’s not something I personally fancy doing. What I do want though, is you indulging that part of your brain that finds this attractive. Indulge me a little.”

It sounded so tempting, I hate to admit it even now, but it was so tempting. To indulge that part of my brain that liked this, that loved this.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t say yes, or nod.

“Since we have both clearly read “The Lying Heart”, we both know that Miss Gatsby clearly illustrated that a “Darling’s self-hell” have unwanted, intrusive thoughts that they don’t agree with. The same way some self-aware you-know-what’s aren’t fond of their mind either. So we both know that I would never agree to such an arrangement.”

“And, yet, you didn’t press charges against him. You didn’t’ seem to care then about what was socially acceptable.”

“Those are two very different levels of socially unacceptable.”

“Some people have already outcasted you for having sympathy for a “lover”, how much worse would it be to be with me?”

“I would say it’s the difference between burning yourself on a candle, and jumping into an active volcano.”

He chuckled, “A lot of the students here actually find me quite charming.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“No, not like that, I don’t engage with students, how low do you think of me?”

“Low enough to bring up personal matters that happened while I was still a student here. Bringing them up while you’re actually supposed to be professional by offering me a job. And low enough to not take a no.”

He nodded, “Fair.”

It didn’t matter that he was attractive. It didn’t matter that I found his forwardness attractive. It didn’t matter that a part of me liked this attention. It didn’t matter because these thoughts aren’t my own. They are something my brain makes against my will, therefore, they are not my own, and I am not tied to them.

“This has went on long enough. I won’t be accepting ANY offer from you. Be that job related or other. Have a nice day Mr. Rossi, and do no try to contact me again in the future, this was a one and done thing.”

I sped off to the door, opening it and leaving immediately. I didn’t care that it looked weak, showing that I was deeply bothered by all of it. Running away like a rabbit or a deer. I just didn’t want to give him a chance to say or do anything else.

I left the hell built like heaven, avoiding the eyes of students as some of them pointed and whispered amongst themselves. Letting the breeze carry their questions. “Is that them?” “No way, really?” “who is that?”

I never thought I would write about that day. Not anywhere but my journal at least. But in light of the recent movements and criticisms towards Emily Gatsby’s works I thought this would benefit more people than it would hurt me.

I’m aware that in this piece I have outed myself as one of the types that Emily Gatsby coined in her book “The Lying Heart”, but as I will quote from her, page 17, paragraph 3 “There should be no shame when it comes to our biology. We should not blame a man for only having one arm, or a woman for being infertile. We should not blame a child for being a mute or a dog for being blind. And we should never blame a darling for being a darling. We can only pass criticism about what someone does, not what someone is.”

As of the time of this writing, there are currently charges against Mr. Rossi for attempted kidnapping, stalking, blackmailing, breaking and entering, and theft. From yours truly.

I shall end this piece with a word to an editor, who encouraged me to not write nor publish this.

Scheiß auf dich du alter sack.

(3406 words)

-✨🥐anon (Sorry for any typos! Wrote this while the wolves were howling outside.)

wowww i did not think that was the path we were going down at the end, from the way this started. the dialogue in this is probably the best you’ve written in my opinion and the banter was so good bc “you’re quite a sweetheart behind your dead eyes” took me out 😭

love love love the meta concept of a self aware universe of ‘lovers’ and darlings. love that professor, and the way he was trying to pick reader’s brain, when they wanted nothing to do with him. even the part with how darling is mindful of how they sit down so as to not give away any weakness fuck yah

interesting that they have entire books dedicated to the topic, with subtypes of darlings. i wonder what other categories exist besides ‘a lover’s dream’ and the self hell one,,

lowkey need Mr rossi carnally ❤️❤️ even if he is an “old bastard” LMAO

#ring ring #lovely anons #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc

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mcheang · 1 year ago

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The stone among diamonds

Yeah, Lila has an overinflated ego if she thinks she’s going to be invited to an upper class party because she’s a model. Only those born in prominent families are invited and Mrs Rossi clearly wasn’t. She overestimated herself and got too pushy.

When Kagami told Lila about the diamond dance and the latter expressed surprise at not being invited, Kagami’s answer was blunt.

“Of course not. You may be a model for Gabriel, Lila, but this dance is for those with connections, not for every model. Adrien is coming because he’s Gabriel’s heir. My family is ancient Japanese nobility. Chloe’s father is the mayor. If you do want to come, you should ask your mother. She’s the ambassador right? She should be invited. I know a few political diplomats who were.”

Lila feigned a smile, knowing full well her mother’s job was nowhere near prestigious enough for an invitation. “She did receive it but she rejected it. She’s never been one for parties. And it was just one invite.”

Kagami: oh, then I’m not sure what you can do. You can ask Gabriel if you may attend in your mother’s place.

Lila: I’ll be sure to do that. Besides, as the face of the Gabriel brand, I’m sure I’ll merit my own invitation

Kagami: don’t hold your breath on that count. You also have to have a rich background.

Lila: are you saying I look poor?

Kagami: no, but my mother trained me to watch for those who have money

Lila is annoyed. She calls Gabriel to get her invitation but he ignores her. Ugh! One way or another she is getting to that party.

But wait, wasn’t Zoe going to the movies with Marinette? As the daughter of style queen, she is sure to have an invitation.

Sure enough, Zoe doesn’t mind giving her invitation to Lila, who says she lost her own and Gabriel is too busy to bother.

At the party, Lila is all for schmoozing with the guests. She would have preferred the adults but the party was clearly divided between adults and kids.

To Lila’s dismay, her own introduction as the face of Gabriel and the daughter of an ambassador wasn’t impressive enough for these people. It wasn’t until she spun her usual lies of knowing Jagged Stone and Prince Ali that she actually got anywhere. (And even then the snobs were not impressed with her charity work, just her connections)

Another guest overheard and walked over. “Excuse me, is it true you worked with Prince Ali? I’m a fan of his work. Might I know your name, please?”

Lila smirked. “Lila Rossi. I worked with Ali on multiple projects and parties.”

The stranger unmasked himself. “I am Prince Ali of Achu, and I have never met you before in my life.” He paged his chaperone.

Soraya walked over. “What is going on here?”

Ali gestured to Lila. “I believe we do have a party crasher.”

Another guest called for security in a loud voice, drawing attention from the rest of the room.

The security drones analysed Lila’s mask and announced it belonged to Zoe Lee.

Chloe pushed her way over and gaped. “Lilo, what are you doing here?” (This is not a typo. Chloe actually called Lila Lilo during Confrontation)

Lila gritted her teeth. “Your sister lent me her invitation when I lost mine. As for this lying accusation, I wasn’t referring to Prince Ali, but another one from Egypt.”

Except the guests she had been trying to impress called her out on her lies.

Guest: isn’t she the alliance Lila?

Lila exhaled in relief. Perhaps her fame could still save her.

Soraya scowled at Gabriel. “You have made a disappointing choice, Gabriel.”

Guest: what a wannabe. I am so changing my alliance avatar.

Seeing the crowd murmuring in front and the adults whispering behind, Gabriel addressed the situation at hand. “I am aware of Lila’s behavior, that was why I had planned to announce at my diamond dance that Kagami would be taking her place.” Tomoe subtly activated the screens showing the new changes, simultaneously having all alliance rings updated.

Lila’s jaw dropped. Her fame gone, just like that. She was tempted to expose Gabriel for hiring her to spy on his son but she doubt it would change much in the face of all these snobs.

Soraya glared at Lila. “Whatever other claims you have made about Prince Ali, we will find out. Prepare yourself for a lawsuit.”

Surrounded by hostile faces, Lila looked for friendly faces.

Chloe wasn’t going to stand up for her.

Kagami was shocked at Lila’s appearance and the revelation that she was a liar.

Felix already knew Lila was a spy and was fine with her current predicament.

Gabriel just fired her. “Escort the Miss wearing Zoe Lee’s mask out of my party.”

Lila was practically boxed in by 4 drones. Chloe snapped a photo because it was kind of funny

Meanwhile as Kagami protested having their avatars be in a romantic relationship, Felix revealed himself.

Cue Canon ending

Now, Rose received word from Ali asking what she knew about Lila. She was shocked that her friend was a liar and that Marinette was telling the truth. Did this mean that Marinette was indeed framed?

Rose calls Marinette to apologize and suggest that they tell Miss Bustier. However Marinette tells Rose that both teacher and principal know the truth. However Lila used the same reason Rose kept her illness a secret to keep them from telling the class.

Rose: this can’t be how it ends. Ali will expose Lila in public, it will be on the news, she can’t hide it then.

Indeed, Lila knew she couldn’t. So it was time to become Cerise once again and abandon Lila.

But Monarch has not seen the last of her. Neither has Prince Ali.

#miraculous ladybug fanfic #miraculous ladybug fic #ml fanfic #ml fanfiction #ml fic #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #Lila gets exposed #Lila is exposed

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mymoodwriting · 2 years ago

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12.5k, vampires, blood, bullying, abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, biting, kidnapping, restraints, torture, knives, stabbing, near-death experience, mind control, manipulation, yandere

“What do we have here?”

Seonghwa had just been walking down the street when he heard giggling. He wouldn’t really care for it until he caught the scent. He followed the sound and found a bunch of school girls pouring strawberry milk onto another in a back alley, laughing and calling her names. She was curled up on the floor with her head down and eyes closed, taking it all without so much as a whimper. He pulled the lollipop out of his mouth and called them out.

“Ya! What are you doing?”

“Mind your business.” One of the girls spoke. “And get lost.”

“Are you picking on her because she’s a vampire?”

“What’s it matter to you?”

“Because I’m the real deal.” Seonghwa flashed his fangs, eyes glowing red. “Now get lost.”

The girls scurried off without a word. He watched them go as he got closer to the other one on the floor. Even from a distance, even while covered in strawberry milk, he could tell she was a vampire like him.

“Are you alright?”

You wiped away some milk from your face, slowly looking up at the gentlemen standing before you. When you looked up you were immediately caught off guard by his beauty, but that just confused you all the more.

“Why did you do that?”

“Why were you taking it?”

“I’m not a monster…” You slowly got up. “I’m not gonna give anyone a reason to believe I am.”

“Then what does that make me?”

“Huh?” The boy’s eyes glowed red. “You’re a vampire…”

“You couldn’t tell?”

“Uh…”

“Anyway, here.” The boy offered you a small blood bag. “Don’t worry, it’s from the blood bank. You probably need it more than me.”

“I don’t drink human blood…”

“Ah, so that’s why they were picking on you. You’re not a proper vampire. No wonder you couldn’t recognize my scent.”

“Sa… sorry for causing you trouble… I’ll be going now…”

You politely bowed and started walking off but the boy followed you, getting in your way. You thought the girls were bad enough, but an actual vampire was far worse in your mind.

“Why do you go to a public school? You know there’s a private school for vampires, right?”

“I prefer a public one…”

“You’re not human, you know that, right?”

“By your standards I’m not a vampire either.”

He scoffed. “Touché.”

“I’m sorry for the trouble, but… thank you…”

“No problem.” He looked down at your name tag. “Y/n.”

Seonghwa put the lollipop back in his mouth, stepping aside so you could be on your way. He watched you go for a while, a lot on his mind. He couldn’t understand why some vampires didn’t drink human blood, let alone why some went to school alongside humans. It was honestly quite annoying to see, especially that you were getting picked on for being different, and letting it happen. He couldn’t really just stand by and let this go though.

🖤

School wasn’t really easy for you, especially being the only vampire in your class, but you got by just fine. You had good grades, did just fine in gym class, and mostly kept to yourself. If you weren’t a vampire they’d probably have you be class president or something, but that wasn’t gonna happen. You’d probably refuse it as well, not wanting to be a bother to anyone. Of course that didn’t stop your peers from bothering you.

“Shit… paper cut… ya, bloodsucker.”

It didn’t make sense how your classmates feared you, yet had no problem picking on you. The smallest drop of blood made you uneasy, and they were well aware of that. The second the scent hit you the atmosphere grew tense. You tried to make yourself small, but your classmate and her friends had gotten up, coming over to your desk.

“You want a taste?”

“Ya, come on. I hear the tiniest bit of blood makes you go crazy.”

“Please leave me alone…”

“Aren’t you hungry though? We’re just tryna help.”

“I’m alright…”

“Don’t be shy.”

The girl chuckled and wiped some blood on your cheek. You immediately freaked out and rushed out of the room, making your way to the nearest bathroom. You didn’t care to see if anyone else was around, going to the sink and washing your face. Thankfully it was only a small amount, but even after you washed it off the scent lingered for a while longer. You made your way outside, wanting the smell of everything to fill your nose. Despite it all, you were used to this type of behavior from your peers. In the end it was relatively harmless, but you always feared a line would be crossed.

“Ya, vampire, didn’t you leave something in the kitchen?”

Your things would always go missing, but they were never gone for long. The others really just liked making you run around, and this time it seemed your pencil case was hidden in the kitchen classroom somewhere. You merely offered a smile and went off to retrieve it. To you it was just another day that you didn’t think anything would happen, that is until you entered the room. As soon as you stepped in you wound up getting soaked in a red liquid. You got a taste of said liquid, the smell also hitting you, it was pigs blood.

“Is this what you look like in your natural state? Not just playing pretend.”

You wanted to run, but the door had already been shut and locked behind you. When you got your sight back you noticed five others in the room with you. None were recording you, but they were all approaching you, and in your panic you slipped and fell to the floor. They cornered you, and two of them flashed a knife in your face. You thought they might cut up your cheek or something, not like there would be evidence of it, but instead you watched as they slid the blade across their palm, showing you the bloody wound.

“This is what you really want, don’t you?”

“Maybe I’ll let you have some, if you beg.”

The pigs blood was already messing with you, so to add human blood to that, you knew you were in danger. Your throat felt extremely dry, your heart racing and pounding in your chest. The world was fading and all you could see was red, the sound of blood flow filling your ears. This was bad, and you had to do something before someone got hurt, so you did the only thing you could. When your fangs appeared you bit into your wrist, hard, blood dripping down onto the floor along with your red stained tears. Of course this whole situation couldn’t go unnoticed and soon enough a teacher came into the room, seeing the scene laid out before them.

The halls were empty, so a crowd hadn’t formed. The teacher sent the two who hurt themselves to the infirmary, a third going with them while the other two went to the principal’s office. You on the other hand were given some time to calm down, and clean up a bit. At least there was a big sink here, so you managed to clean off most of the pigs blood. There was no getting the smell off, and you knew you’d have to change into your gym clothes. At least you didn’t have to clean the bloody mess, just return to class in some sense of shame. You could hear all the whispers going around you, and you did your best to ignore them, but that wasn’t the worst of it. Everything came crashing down when you came in the next day.

“You… you want me to transfer?”

“I believe it would be for the best. A lot has happened, and I worry that you could wind up getting hurt in the process.”

“You mean you’re afraid I’ll hurt someone…”

“That’s not what I said.”

“I didn’t do anything! The others have been-”

“It has been difficult for you from the beginning. Don’t you think it would be better for you if you were among your actual peers?”

“You mean vampires…”

“This isn’t official, just a suggestion. Asinis is a school that’s only for vampires, you might feel more at home there.”

“I guess…”

“Think about it.”

You had always known about Asinis, looking back, that boy who saved you was wearing their uniform. It had been an option for you from the beginning, but you wanted to try a more normal route. Although it looked like that idea had come to an end. You had always known that your peers would harbor some fear, or hate, towards you, but you knew that they had nothing to fear. Now things had changed, now you were the one who was afraid. That stunt in the kitchen the other day, if they had done something like that, it was possible they’d take it further, and you wouldn’t be safe if they did. By the end of the day you put in the transfer request, and by the end of the week you were all set.

You couldn’t even rest during the weekend, too anxious about starting at your new school. Since it was one for vampires, there was serious security at the entrance. All the students had to show an ID card to a guard, and even if it seemed tedious, no one seemed to mind. In fact some seemed a bit smug, proud to be entering a private school, proud to be a vampire. The set up did make it a drag to get in, but it was designed to keep humans from entering without authorization. It would be very dangerous for one to get in. Many have tried, but failed, and if someone did succeed, there was no word of it. Obviously, with this being your first day, you didn’t have an ID card. Even if you were a vampire, and a student, no ID card, meant no entry.

“I’m the new transfer student… today is my first day…”

You were trying to explain to a guard your situation. You had been told you would get your ID card on our first day, but the problem was getting in without one. You figured you were probably gonna have to wait until everyone else had gotten in before someone would be called over about you, but you were suddenly grabbed. Someone wrapped their arm around your shoulder and pulled you close to them.

“I’m happy to see you here.”

“Uh…”

When you got a good look you were able to recognize the person, it was the boy from before, the one who had saved you.

“You finally made the right choice by coming here.”

“Yeah… sure…”

“Let’s go. You’ll love it. I’ll show-”

“I can’t…”

“Huh?”

“It’s my first day… I don’t have an ID card yet…”

“Right. Just a security precaution. Can’t have a human sneaking in, they wouldn’t be safe.”

He chuckled and pulled you along as he went up to a guard and showed his ID card. He explained to the guard you were new and that you didn’t have your ID card yet. The guard said you couldn’t enter without it, but the boy vouched for you, saying he’d escort you to the teachers office and help you get settled. For whatever reason the guard allowed it, and you were allowed to enter. The boy hadn’t let you go, and you were a bit afraid to move away since he said he’d be taking you to the teachers office. You didn’t want to get lost.

“Uh… thank you…”

“No problem. It’s better than waiting for a teacher to come confirm everything and let you in.”

“Right… uh… can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What’s your name…”

“Oh, right. I haven’t properly introduced myself. My apologies” The boy stepped back and offered you a bow. “Park Seonghwa. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“It’s-”

Before you speak another boy had come from out of nowhere and put Seonghwa in a headlock, spinning him around and laughing.

“Been looking for you all morning! Where’s the blood bag you owe me! We had a deal!”

“Wooyoung!” Seonghwa hissed. “This is not how you treat your elders!”

A few other boys had gathered around, one of the taller ones yanking Wooyoung away. Seonghwa composed himself, glaring at Wooyoung before getting a blood bag out of his bag and offering it to the boy.

“Here you go, just as promised.”

“Alright! You’re the best, hyung!”

“I know.”

“So, what were you-”

Wooyoung suddenly noticed you quietly standing off to the side. His eyes lit up and he stepped towards you, looking you over.

“Hello gorgeous… would you like some breakfast?” Wooyoung offered you the blood bag. “It’s the best there is.”

“Uh…”

“She doesn’t drink human blood.” Seonghwa stated. “So don’t bother.”

“Huh? Do you know her?”

“Kinda. It’s her first day, and I’m taking her up to the teachers office.”

“Ah, in that case, welcome. I’m Wooyoung, nice to meet you.”

“Y/n… nice to meet you.”

“We should get going.” Seonghwa said. “Before classes start.”

Along the way the rest of what seemed to be Seonghwa’s friends introduced themselves to you. They seemed nice, and you could at least appreciate that they didn’t comment on your dietary choices. They dropped you off at the teachers office, hoping to see you around. You thanked them and made your way into the office, introducing yourself. Your homeroom teacher greeted you, having you sit down with them while they got you settled in. You received your ID card, and told not to lose it as replacing it was going to cost you. They even showed you around a bit, letting you know how to navigate the school, as well as the rules.

“There are two lunchrooms.”

“Two?”

“One for those who drink human blood, and one for those who don’t. We’re all the same here, but we respect those who chose not to consume human blood. We also understand the difficulties with that, so we have two separate lunch rooms to accommodate.”

“It’s very nice of you.”

“We do our best. Now shall we get you to class?”

You were introduced to your class, immediately seeing the familiar face of Seonghwa and his friends. They all seemed pretty excited to see you, and seeing them did put you a bit at ease. Although, even if this place was different, it felt the same to you. So the fear of being an outcast lingered. You quietly took your seat, and got your things out. It would take some time to adjust to everything, but you knew you’d put your best effort into it. This place could be good to you. At least that’s what you hoped.

“Lunch time!” You heard Wooyoung cheer. “Let’s go!”

When the bell rang you got a bit anxious. You knew where the lunch room was, but you knew that was gonna be a whole new experience. Back at your old school you wouldn’t have lunch with your peers. You could eat human food, but your primary diet was blood, not human, but an alternative type of blood. So you’d always find a quiet place to have a blood bag. A handful of times you were caught and had to find a new place, but you knew that didn’t need to be the case here.

“Are you gonna come with us?”

You hadn’t noticed that Seonghwa and his friends had come up to you, surrounding you. That is until Yunho asked you about lunch.

“No better place to fix your diet than here.”

“Fix?”

“You’re a vampire.” Seonghwa commented. “You should eat properly, get all the nutrients you need. I can promise you it’s wonderful. Especially for a first time.”

“Ah, I’m good. I know alternative blood probably doesn’t sound appealing to you, but it provides me with everything I need.”

“Don’t kid yourself. You’re curious, aren’t you?” Seonghwa leaned down close to you. “Wondering what human blood tastes like, wanting a taste…”

“Uh…”

“Leave her alone, Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes and stood up, looking over at the boy who had called him. All his friends were glaring too, and you looked over as well. It was one of your new classmates.

“Mind your business, Choi San.”

Seonghwa and his gang headed out without another word. This San boy walked over to you, a kind smile on his face.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I just thought he was nice…”

“Seonghwa is like that. He’s charming, and nice, and a good guy, but only to those who drink human blood. To the rest of us he’s a completely different person. I don’t know what his problem is.”

“You… you don’t drink human blood?”

“No. I prefer the alternative.”

“Oh…”

“Shall we go to lunch then? Since it’s your first day I can imagine you’re nervous, and I’d be happy to show you around.”

“That’d be nice.”

“Cool. Come on then.”

You gathered your things and headed to lunch with San. He properly introduced himself, and told you that you could always go to him with any questions. You thanked him for his kindness, starting to feel like you’ve made a friend. The fact that he was more like you really put you at ease too. Walking into the lunchroom was a new experience for you, and you were quite amazed. There was actually a full on menu available for you. Some foods were laced with alternative blood, and there were some without. San made some recommendations, and you were also eager to try new things. You sat together, getting to know each other more as well. San even shared some of his food with you, glad to see you so happy.

“You’re adjusting nicely.”

“It’s a nice place…”

“You’re with your people, so it only makes sense you’re more at ease.”

“Yeah…”

“Can I ask something?”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you come here from the start? Why go to a normal school?”

“Well… I didn’t think I’d fit in here…”

“Here? Asinis? A school for vampires? What do you mean?”

“I thought everyone here drank human blood… and since I don’t… I’d be an outcast…”

“You weren’t an outcast at your old school?”

“I was, but that’s cause I am different from them. My nature, my diet, I’m not human. Everyone here is like me, so to be an outcast among my own people…”

“Better to be an outcast among humans than your own kind.”

“Yeah…”

“Well that’s not gonna be happening here. You’re not alone.”

“I can see that now. Thanks.”

🖤

You found yourself settling in nicely, as well as coming out of your shell. You socialized with your classmates, and San introduced you to some of his friends. It made you realize that this is what school was supposed to be like. Of course it wasn’t perfect either. Every now and then Seonghwa and his gang would bother you. They’d corner you out in the halls or in between classes, and it was always the same thing. This was a reason why you were afraid of being at an all vampires school. You always figured others would be shoving human blood in your face, trying to get a reaction out of you.

Thankfully you had practice keeping yourself composed. Humans may not have been able to shove blood bags in your face, or simply breathe down your neck with the smell of blood on their breath, but they had their ways of messing with you. Of course you weren’t always dealing with them. San acted like your guardian angel, getting Seonghwa and his gang to leave you alone, even coming to your rescue at times. Although as much as you appreciated him, he couldn’t always be there for you and you had to hold your own.

“Why don’t you drink human blood?” Yeosang asked. “I’m genuinely curious.”

You were enjoying a free period, sitting in the gym bleachers with some homework when you were suddenly surrounded. Yeosang threw his arm around your shoulder, talking to you as if he had always been there, as if you two were close.

“I mean, you’re really missing out here.”

It had always been a rumor to you, but ever since you came to Asinis, you saw the truth. You had a heightened sense of smell, of sight, of hearing, you healed faster than humans, but that’s as far as your vampire abilities went. You had always heard that those who drink human blood had more power, and now you saw it for yourself. Those vampires had super strength, super speed, they practically healed instantaneously. It gave you all the more reason to be afraid of them, and all the more reason to behave.

“I’m happy as I am.”

“But why?” Seonghwa questioned. “You’re weak. Even by human standards. Don’t you think that’s embarrassing?”

“I’m not the only one who consumes alternative blood, and I’m not weak.”

“Right. It’s not like you were cornered by a bunch of humans and doused in pigs blood. They even went as far as to cut themselves to get a rise out of you.”

“How… how do you…”

Despite how insane of an incident that was, the news didn’t get out. The kids who did it never said anything, even lied about their injuries. None of it was filmed either, which was strange because they had done so before. In truth, no one really knew what happened, and yet Seonghwa did, and with details. You couldn’t comprehend it until an idea hit you.

“Did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Did you mind control my classmates to-”

Seonghwa was suddenly standing right in front of you, his face all up in yours. His eyes were glowing red and he had a cocky grin on his face.

“Are you accusing me of something, love?”

“I…”

“Use your words. What did I do?”

“You… you…”

A vampire being able to control humans, that was a rumor that didn’t go around often. If it were true, humans would certainly freak out, and this sense of peace in the world would start to crumble. It seemed far-fetched, even to you who was a vampire, but Seonghwa was making you question the possibility.

“Hm?”

“Y/n!”

You didn’t know where San had come from, but he rushed over to you, pulling Seonghwa away. He got you to your feet and had you stand behind him, glaring at the others.

“Why can’t you just leave her alone!”

“I’m just trying to help.”

“Well she doesn’t want it.”

“Can’t she speak for herself?”

“Please leave me alone…” You mumbled. “I’m fine as I am.”

Seonghwa scoffed. “If you say so. Let’s go guys.”

San watched them all go, keeping you behind him. Once they were gone he turned to you, making sure you were alright and weren’t hurt.

“I’m sorry…”

“For what?”

��You’re always coming to my rescue… what if you get hurt?”

“Seonghwa isn’t the type to actually hurt someone. He’d get in trouble with the school if he did. He’s just annoying you with words.”

“I don’t get why though…”

“You’re the new kid, he sees you as an easy target.”

“I wish he’d stop…”

“I’m sure he’ll get bored eventually, but you got me to protect you, so don’t worry.”

“Aren’t you scared of him?”

“Of Seonghwa? Nah, he just likes to flaunt around his power and status. We’ll be okay.”

San’s words always managed to put you at ease. He knew better than you how things worked around the school. Although you couldn’t easily move past it either. Even if you were with your kind, you were still different and bullied over that. At least it was just words, well, it started off that way. After accusing Seonghwa of messing with your classmates, you couldn’t get the idea out of your head. It explained everything, why the sudden change and boldness in their actions, but you couldn’t understand why Seonghwa would care to do that to you. Maybe he had been there to witness it, but that seemed highly unlikely given how good of a student he was. He wouldn’t sneak out to see that, the school also had strong security to keep people out and the students in. You were probably overthinking this, but something kept nagging at you that there was more. It was only a matter of time before you figured out what that was.

“Are you gonna keep hiding behind San?”

You were walking the halls, lost in thought, when you were suddenly pinned against the wall. Seonghwa had his hand pressed to the wall at the side of your head, staring you down.

“I… I…”

“You’re finally among your people and you don’t care to grow? You don’t have to be weak for everyone else’s sake. Now you can embrace who you are and yet you still-”

“You wanted me to transfer.”

“Huh?”

It clicked then, why Seonghwa would care to mess with your old classmates. He was being such a jerk to you now, but when you first met him he was kind. Even on your first day he was nice, getting you through the front gate, introducing you to his friends, even defending your diet and taking you where you needed to go. He was very different to the Seonghwa who stood before you now, but all this bullying went back to one thing. Your diet, and trying to peer pressure you into changing it. You would never consider such a thing if you were still in your old school, because you’d be a danger to your human classmates, and even then Seonghwa wouldn’t have much access to you. Now that you were here he could bother you about it whenever he wanted, but that still didn’t explain why he’d care to do this.

“You made my classmates do that to me so I’d have no choice but to transfer here! Why? What reason-”

“You think I was just gonna sit around knowing one of my kind was being harassed by some low life humans? Just because they were different, because they were seen as weak.”

“If you wanted me here, maybe some better words would have done it!”

“With your human loving demeanor you wouldn’t listen to reason. So I had to take matters into my own hands.”

“You manipulated-”

“Don’t kid yourself. Those humans harassed you, and wanted you gone. They would have done something like that eventually, I just provided a little push.”

“Then why are you harassing me now? You’re no better than them!”

“Do not compare me to those creatures!”

“What is your problem? Why did you bring me here? Why do you care about my diet? Do you like me or something?”

Seonghwa scoffed, a cocky grin appearing on his face. “If that’s the case will you finally be a good girl and listen to me?”

“Uh…”

“Seonghwa!”

You heard San’s voice, seeing him running over from the corner of your eye, although he wasn’t that fast. In seconds he was pinned to the wall next to you, Seonghwa’s hand around his throat, squeezing. Your eyes went wide in panic and you grabbed Seonghwa’s arm, trying to get him to let go, but he didn’t budge.

“Seonghwa! Seonghwa, please! Let him go!”

“Did you really think that was gonna work?” Seonghwa hissed. “You forget your place.”

“Seonghwa, please let him go.” Tears stung your eyes. “Please.”

“Look at that, you made her cry.”

Seonghwa squeezed tighter, San quietly struggling to breath before he was released. San slipped to the floor, gasping in air, and you quickly joined him, looking him over. His neck was purple, bruised in the shape of a hand mark, but it was already starting to heal.

“Get in my way again, and you will pay dearly.” Seonghwa threatened. “Let’s go.”

You glanced up to see Seonghwa and his group leave, but you remained with San. His breathing had already returned to normal, and the bruise had gotten smaller too. He reached up and wiped away some tears.

“Are you okay?”

“Me? What about you? What were you thinking?”

“I don’t like it…”

“What?”

“When you’re afraid… your scent… I don’t like it…”

“Oh… you can tell…”

“It’s how I know when he’s bothering you.”

“You need to be careful. What if you get hurt? Like today, or worse.”

“I’d rather be hurt than see you scared.”

“San…”

“I’m alright.”

“I wish he’d just stop…”

“Let’s stick together more, okay? He doesn’t seem to do anything when I’m around.”

“Okay…”

Even with some answers that encounter left you with new questions. You didn’t really know Seonghwa’s motivations, and your list of possible answers got longer and more confusing. Still, with San at your side you saw much less of Seonghwa. It was a great relief, and it even gave you all the more reason to get closer to San. You both thought he might stop if he didn’t have a chance to bother you but there would always be times where you two would be separate. You’d try not to be alone when that happened, but there were things you couldn’t avoid. Even if you’d rush from one place to another, Seonghwa was faster than you.

One day while you were roaming the nearly barren halls, you were suddenly shoved into an empty classroom. You stumbled in your steps and almost fell, but you managed to keep yourself up. Although soon enough you were slammed against the lockers, finding yourself staring down Seonghwa. His friends had locked the doors, keeping guard, and closing the windows and blinds. Once you regained your composure you stared back at Seonghwa. This needed to end, which meant you also needed to stand up to him. So you held your head up high.

“What is your problem with me?”

“Good, I like it better when you don’t cower in fear.”

“Let go.”

“Or what?”

“I’ve let your bullshit slide for too long. Leave me alone or I’ll report you.”

Seonghwa laughed. “And what are you gonna say? You think they’ll listen to you over me?”

“You-”

“What evidence would you even have? It’s not like anything I do would leave a mark.”

“That’s not-”

It all happened so fast you struggled to process it. One moment you were staring down Seonghwa, the next he had his fangs in your neck. You didn’t even struggle under him, a pleasurable feeling overwhelming your senses, but you eventually got a hold of yourself. You tried to get him off but he was way stronger than you, and you were losing strength by the second.

“Seonghwa…”

When he pulled away you nearly collapsed to the floor, but he held you up. The world was spinning and you were sure you were on the verge of passing out. Still you tried to focus, ignoring the tingling feeling that lingered. You were trying to form words, but even keeping your eyes open were a struggle. You could vaguely make out Seonghwa’s face, his bloody lips, fangs poking out. He seemed content, licking his lips, and when your wound healed he ran his tongue along your neck to get the last few drops.

“You taste lovely.” Seonghwa whispered. “Imagine how much better you’d be if you ate properly.”

“You… you…”

“Sh, sh, sh, you’re fine. Just take a little nap for me, okay?”

“… why…”

“Close your eyes.”

It was hard to fight it. The darkness was consuming you, and you were too weak to resist. Everything in your vision got blurry, and as you slipped under you could vaguely make out Seonghwa’s smiling face.

🖤

“Y/n! Y/n!”

As you came to you could hear your voice being called. You slowly opened your eyes, seeing white, and then San was in your field of vision. He was relieved to see you had woken up.

“What… what happened… where am I?”

“I found you passed out in a classroom and brought you to the infirmary. You were a lot colder than usual. What happened?”

“I…”

Everything slowly started coming back to you, and your hand shot up to your neck. You knew there wouldn’t be a mark, but you had to be sure. There was still a lingering feeling of the whole ordeal, and it brought so many more questions to mind. Vampires didn’t feed off humans directly, it wasn’t allowed given the addictive qualities of a vampire bite. It seemed the bite was pleasurable among their own kind too, which meant you couldn’t tell San about this. You were too embarrassed and you had no idea how he’d react.

“Y/n, are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’ve just been running around all day, and I didn’t eat enough. Must have finally hit. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

San was giving you a weird look, and you were sure he had caught on that you were lying. You were trying to control yourself, knowing your heartbeat could give you away. Even if he did seem suspicious, he had no idea what had really happened, and wasn’t gonna push it any further. You were grateful for that. He walked with you to your next class, you did share most of your schedule after all, but you had forgotten Seonghwa was there too. You were worried he’d make some sort of comment, but luckily he kept away. Although you did look over at him, and he flashed you a cocky grin. You weren’t sure why he bit you, not really, but it was certainly proof that he could do anything to you and there wouldn’t be any evidence.

“Y/n, you good?”

“Huh? Fine.”

“If you’re still hungry I have extra blood bags in my locker.”

“No, I’m alright. Don’t wanna ruin my appetite.”

You thought you could end things. That standing up to Seonghwa and showing him you weren’t afraid would finally make him stop. Instead you had a whole new problem with him. Now you were self conscious of having your neck exposed whenever you were alone. It had gotten chiller outside and you thought to wear a scarf but that drew unwanted attention.

“Are you cold? You’re a vampire though, we don’t get cold.”

“I know, just a fashion choice.”

“Why now?”

“Since it’s gotten colder out I thought I could change my wardrobe a bit. You don’t like it?”

“No, it’s great.” San assured. “Just curious.”

You could tell San was suspicious of you, that you were keeping something from him, but he was being very respectful about it too. He trusted you would tell him when you were ready. Although you hoped you’d never have to. So you did your best to be normal, even if you could always feel Seonghwa’s gaze on you when he was nearby. You really couldn’t go on always looking over your shoulder, and you thought to confront him, but you weren’t sure you could do it alone. You wanted San at your side, but that involved telling him the truth, and if you did you were sure he wouldn’t keep a level head. So you were stuck, unsure of what to do. You had to do something soon though, before you went mad, or Seonghwa did something worse.

“Long day?”

You were heading out by yourself, San staying behind for study hall when you came across Seonghwa. You hadn’t noticed him waiting by the doors, too lost in though until his voice pulled you out. You glanced over and tried to run off but he got in your way. As he stepped forward you stepped back, trying to think of something to do.

“Missed me? You’ve been clinging to San so much I was starting to think you didn’t like me.”

“What… what do you want…”

“I’m surprised you didn’t tell San what happened. At the same time I’m pleased. It’s our little secret.”

“Leave me alone.”

“And what makes you think I’m going to do that?”

“Cause you have no reason to be doing this… there are others like me but you don’t bother them.”

“They’re not you. Remember? You called me out. I like you.”

“Liar.”

“That hurts, but I’ll rectify that soon enough.”

“What-”

Seonghwa took your hand, ripping your scarf off, and started dragging you along, back towards the school building. You tried to free yourself but his grip was tight, and the more you struggled the stronger his hold on you got. You thought to scream, but once you had been grabbed the rest of Seonghwa’s friends had surrounded you. Not like anyone else would care to help. You’ve been here long enough to know everyone liked Seonghwa, and no one really dared to cross him. What made you more nervous was that all his friends seemed excited about something. You wound up getting dragged down to the basement, taken into a room that seemed abandoned, but it certainly wasn’t empty.

“What… what is this? Seonghwa, please-”

“Don’t bother screaming, no one’s gonna hear you.”

“Seonghwa!”

Now you were very afraid, your heart pounding in your chest.Whatever this was, it wasn't good, and you really didn't wanna find out what Seonghwa had prepared. Whatever this was, it wasn’t good, and you really didn’t wanna find out what Seonghwa had prepared. You started thrashing, hitting his arm, desperately trying to get him to release you. Escaping probably would have been impossible since you were outnumbered, but you had to try anyway. Before you knew it though Seonghwa yanked you so you stood before him, grabbing your other arm and pinning them both to your side.

He only gave you a smile before sinking his fangs into you. Any attempt to struggle was quickly beaten down, and Seonghwa’s grip on you finally loosen. He didn’t drink as heavily as before, just enough to make you pliable. He took in a satisfied breath when he pulled away from you, licking his lips and then pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“You’re gonna taste so much better.”

“Uh…”

Somehow you were still on your feet, but certainly not stable. Seonghwa wasn’t holding you tight anymore, but he kept a hold of your arms to keep you steady. He carefully led you over to a chair, getting you to sit down. Your bite wound had already healed, and he licked up the bit of blood that remained.

“Just relax for me.”

Even with the blood loss you were trying to regain your sense of self. You were giddy, and felt floaty, but this wasn’t the time to let your guard down. You tried to focus, but you couldn’t really do that until you were tied down. You vaguely watched as Jongho and Yeosang tied your arms and legs to the chair. you couldn’t really move, so this raised some flags.

“Wat... stop…”

“You don’t need to be scared.” Jongho stated. “You’ll be just fine.”

“It didn’t need to come to this if you had just listened to me from the start.” Seonghwa grabbed your chin, making your eyes meet. “But this is for the best.”

“What are you…”

“You’ll enjoy it.”

Seonghwa stepped away, going over to a table. From where you were you couldn’t really see what was there, but you recognized the blood bags.

“Seonghwa…”

“One moment, love.”

You were starting to feel more like yourself, gently tugging on your restraints to discover how much wiggle room you had, which was practically nothing. While you were haphazardly trying to come up with something you didn’t notice Seonghwa approach, not until he grabbed your face and pulled your gaze up to him.

“Let’s try not to be wasteful.” Seonghwa held up a blood bag. “Okay.”

“No... no, no, Seonghwa…”

“You’ll thank me later.”

You shut your mouth tight, or as tight as you could with your strength. Seonghwa chuckled, finding your actions cute, but that wasn’t going to stop him. You could feel the tears building up, trying to prepare for the worst when you suddenly heard a loud crash. Seonghwa stopped, and despite the weird position, you managed to see San. He had broken the door down, breathing heavily as he stood up and took in the scene.

“San…”

You had no idea how he found you all the way down here, but you were terrified as to what Seonghwa would do to him. The others had gathered around San, but didn’t do anything, not without Seonghwa’s say.

“What the fuck are you doing to her!”

“I told you that if you got in my way again, you’d pay dearly.”

“Let her go this instant!”

“Grab him.”

Seonghwa released you, placing the blood bag back on the table. You watched as San tussled with the other boys, clearly outnumbered and soon enough overpowered. Mingi and Yunho dragged him over, keeping him on his knees.

“I didn’t think you’d find me down here, but you’re full of surprises.” Seonghwa opened a case that had been on the table. “I came prepared though, as I’m one to keep my word.”

Seonghwa put on some gloves and grabbed a silver dagger from the case. He ran the blade across his cheek, the wound healing instantaneously without a drop of blood spilling.

“Our power is truly amazing, isn’t it. Although it’s a shame some of you seem satisfied with just a fraction of it.”

“We’re all the same!” San yelled. “Don’t think you’re all high and mighty because you drink human blood.”

“But I am high and mighty. I’m better than you, but I won’t hold that over you forever.”

Seonghwa grabbed a jar from the case as well, setting it on the table and unscrewing the lid. You could all see the cross on it, and you knew what it was, holy water. Seonghwa dipped the blade into the water, letting it soak a bit before pulling it out and sealing the jar. He walked over to San, the others holding him still.

“What are you doing?!” San hissed. “Are you going to kill me? Is this how I’ll pay dearly?”

“Hardly.” Seonghwa knelt down, placing a hand on San’s shoulders. “We’re going to be good friends, you and I.”

With a devilish grin Seonghwa dug the blade into San’s chest. You heard San scream in agony, causing you great distress. You pulled against your restraints, screaming at Seonghwa to leave him alone. Seonghwa didn’t care for your cries, twisting the knife and digging it in deeper. San was released as the blade was dragged up and pulled out, causing him to collapse to the floor, blood pooling around him. Somehow he managed to get on his hands and knees, coughing up blood as he grabbed his wound.

“Choi San, you know I liked you better when you knew your place and didn’t cross me. Don’t worry though, you’ll heal.” Seonghwa stated. “But not fast enough to save your life. At least not on your current diet.”

Seonghwa put the bloody blade back into the case, grabbing a blood bag and throwing it to the ground before San. He grabbed another and walked back over to you. Tears were streaming down your face, and you refused to look at Seonghwa, but he grabbed your face and forced your eyes to meet.

“He made you cry again.”

“You… monster…”

“You haven’t seen a monster. Not yet.”

Seonghwa tore open the blood bag, spilling its contents all over your chest. You didn’t get any on your face, but the smell alone was making you light headed. You tried to keep your focus though, worried about San. Seonghwa wiped some blood on your neck, placing a soft kiss on your head before looking back at San.

“If you don’t drink that blood, you will die.” Seonghwa reminded. “Are you really going to make y/n watch?”

“Fuck… you…”

“Hm. Well, I’m not gonna make her witness such a thing.”

Seonghwa stalked over grabbing the blood bag off the floor and grabbing San’s face. He flashed his fangs, eyes glowing red, biting into the blood bag and pouring the contents down San’s throat.

“I really didn’t want any blood to go to waste.”

San gagged, choking on the blood, but despite his efforts it went down, and it tasted divine. When he had enough strength he grabbed the bag from Seonghwa, drinking down the last drops. Seonghwa chuckled and got up, tossing another bag to the floor, which San eagerly grabbed and drank.

“San…” You were choking back more tears. “San…”

“He’s not listening right now, love.” Seonghwa said. “Tasting human blood for the first time can be quite an experience. For someone like him, it’s quite a frenzy. All he wants is more and more, can’t even tell the difference between his own kind and humans.”

“Huh?”

“San, over here boy.”

Seonghwa caught San’s attention, which in turn drew San’s eyes to you. All he could smell was the blood on you, human blood, and that’s all he cared to know. Before you knew it San was digging his fangs into your neck. You screamed out, horrified that your friend was doing this to you, but you were soon choking on your own tears.

“San… San…”

You hadn’t fully recovered from Seonghwa, and now San was draining you, and fast. Your vision was going black, and you knew you’d pass out soon enough. Before that happened though Seonghwa pulled San off of you, meeting his eyes and chuckling.

“She tastes good doesn’t she?”

Seonghwa shoved San back, dropping him to the floor. The boy tried to lunge for you again, but Mingi and Wooyoung grabbed him, holding him back. Seonghwa ordered them to take him away, and you vaguely saw a feral San being dragged off. Once they were gone Seonghwa grabbed your face, looking down on you with a soft smile on his lips.

“We’ll finish this later. I have a new friend to look after.”

Seonghwa drew his claws and cut the ropes, grabbing his case and leaving. You tried to stand up, to go after them, but you collapsed to the floor, lucky enough to avoid any blood. You rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. You weren’t going to be moving anytime soon, so you let the darkness take you. You’d come up with a plan once you had enough strength.

🖤

You opened your eyes, finding yourself in a familiar unfamiliar place, the infirmary. You quickly sat up, noticing that your clothes were clean, and the smell of blood was completely gone. Without thinking you got up, finding Hongjoong on the other side of the curtain playing on his phone. When he saw you he offered you a smile.

“You’re up.”

“Where’s San!”

“You don’t have to worry about him. He’s fine.”

“Where is he!”

“Get home safe.”

Hongjoong got up, intending to leave, but you weren’t done with him. You grabbed him, only for him to grab your arm in return, getting you to let him go. He did it all with a kind smile on his face too.

“See you tomorrow.”

You were all alone, still trying to process, trying to figure out where to go. Once you had an idea you grabbed your things. The sun was barely setting, but you weren’t heading out just yet. You went down to the basement, finding the room you had been held hostage in. It was spotless, nothing out of place, and not a whiff of blood. They cleaned up all the evidence so fast. So it didn’t matter if you reported the situation, which meant you needed to find San. Your sense of smell wasn’t as good as others, and you certainly weren’t attuned to San’s scent, which you cursed yourself out for. That left you with one option.

You headed out, going to the only place you could think, San’s home. You had walked him there once, after a long afternoon of studying. When you got there you knocked on the door, but there was no response, so you thought to stay. For a couple hours you waited for him, wanting him to come back safe and sound, but given how you saw him last time, you were worried. As it got late you realized he wouldn’t be home, which meant you had to go. Surely you’d see him at school tomorrow, so you just had to wait. You stayed up all night, couldn’t even bring yourself to eat anything, just waiting for the sun.

For the first time ever you were the first student of your class at school. Even then all you could do was wait until the others arrived, hoping San was among them. Guilt was eating you alive, and you just wanted to know if he was alright. You did doze off a bit, somehow, but were woken up by a loud commotion. You snapped awake, seeing Seonghwa and his friends messing around with each other, but more importantly you saw San walking in. He seemed to be alright, he was smiling, and you scrambled out of your seat, going over to him and hugging him tight.

“San!”

He was a bit taken aback by the sudden hug, but he happily embraced you. The tears began to flow, and he gently pet your head, trying to shush you.

“It’s okay, everything’s okay.”

“I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.”

“Easy, you’re not to blame.”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

“Don’t cry. I’m alright.”

“What happened? You were hurt and-”

“Are you okay though?” San questioned. “I hurt you without meaning to. I wasn’t in my right mind then, but I am now.”

“I know that wasn’t you. I’ve just been worried about you.”

“There’s no need to be.”

“I’ll do better. I won’t let this happen. Let’s go to the teachers and-”

“No.”

“Wa… what?”

“Y/n, I was wrong. I thought I was living well, but that’s not the case anymore.”

“I… I don’t understand.”

“Seonghwa helped me out last night. He opened my eyes to the truth.”

“Huh?”

Seonghwa suddenly came up to you from behind, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close. You were still processing, refusing to accept the obvious conclusion.

“I told you, human blood is what we truly need.” Seonghwa stated. “I’m glad I could get San to understand that.”

“No… you forced that stuff down his throat! You-”

Seonghwa covered your mouth. “Easy there, love. We’re just having a polite conversation here, aren’t we?”

“It’s okay.” San said. “The circumstances weren’t the best, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was right. I feel so much better now, like I’m complete.”

You shook your head, getting Seonghwa to move his hand away. Once he did you shoved him back, stepping away from the group that had been surrounding you.

“You’re not San, this isn’t you.”

“It is, it’s who I’ve always been.”

“They hurt you!”

“I wouldn’t listen to reason, but you should.”

“No, no you’re not San… you’re not…”

You ran out of the room in tears, needing a place to be alone. This was all your fault. You knew Seonghwa wasn’t gonna leave you alone and you knew San was going to keep interfering, and yet you let him do that. It cost him dearly, and the boy you saw now wasn’t him. You found a quiet room to cry in, letting yourself come to terms with your new reality. You missed your first two classes, not sure if you even wanted to go back, but you had to. You couldn’t just run away like before. As you returned you told the teacher you had been in the infirmary, which they accepted. You tried to focus, on occasion looking over at San.

He seemed just like his old self like this, and for a while you could delude yourself into thinking yesterday didn’t happen. Yet when the bell rang you remembered the truth. San hung out with Seonghwa, everyone seemed like long time friends. When they glanced your way you quickly rushed out, going to the lunchroom knowing they wouldn’t follow you. That day you ate alone, and it was worse than back at your old school. Even San’s other friends figured his sudden change was your fault, and you wouldn’t disprove them. This was all just a reminder of how alone you were. Although you couldn’t just let this go without consequences. You went to the teachers office.

“I… I don’t understand.”

“Seonghwa made San drink human blood. I was there, and now… San’s different. Aren’t you going to do anything?”

“So that’s why San changed his diet, because of Seonghwa?”

“Yes.”

“Well it is for the best.”

“What?”

“Apologies. I mean no disrespect to your dietary choices, but human blood is very beneficial. If San has changed his diet due to another student’s recommendation, that’s his choice.”

“But he was forced… you’re not going to do anything, are you?”

“What exactly do you want me to do?”

Without evidence you couldn’t just tell them you had been taken and tied down, and San was severely hurt in the process. As far as they were concerned Seonghwa had a chat with San and convinced him, nothing wrong with that even though you knew that wasn’t the truth. You sulked back to your class, feeling defeated. This place was worse than your old school, you wished you had never come here.

“Ya!”

You were wallowing in your own defeat when you were yanked into an empty classroom. You didn’t care anymore, letting yourself get tossed around. Whatever pain you felt, it was deserved. You met Seonghwa’s eyes, seeing that he was annoyed.

“What were you doing in the teachers office?”

“Nothing…”

“I don’t believe you. Now talk.”

“There’s nothing you need to worry about. I told them you’re the reason San changed his diet. They were actually happy to hear he was eating better. Maybe they’ll give you an award.”

Seonghwa chuckled. “Didn’t I tell you this would happen?”

“Are we done here?”

“Yes. With transgressions settled we should talk about your health. You see how San is doing. He’s much better now, isn’t he?”

“Fuck you.”

“You better watch your mouth.”

“You win okay, you’ve made your point. Now leave me alone.”

“This isn’t over.”

“Well it is for me. You’ve made it clear I don’t belong anywhere…”

You stormed out of the room before Seonghwa could think to do anything more. You got your things from your locker, opting to hide out until classes were over so you could leave. When you got home you locked yourself in the bathroom, sitting under the shower head and letting yourself get soaked. It hid your tears and sobbing. You felt like such a terrible person, a terrible friend. The only person you felt you could even call a friend in the last decade or so of your existence was taken from you, and it was all your fault. You tried so hard to live your life peacefully but it was becoming clear that wasn’t possible for you. It would be best to start over, and just keep to yourself. It’d be lonely, but that was better than getting others hurt.

🖤

“Has anyone seen y/n?”

Seonghwa glanced back at your seat. It was going on day three of you being absent. There was no official statement about you dropping out or transferring, but this didn’t seem like you at all. You kept up your grades, regardless of your peers. Perhaps his antics had gone too far. That was on him as he was always told not to play with his food. Still, he wasn’t gonna let this go either.

“I believe she hasn’t been feeling well.” Mingi stated. “She should return soon.”

“Getting sick isn’t common for our kind.”

“We’ll check on her after classes.” Seonghwa volunteered. “Promise.”

“Alright. We’ll continue then.”

It would have been easy to get his hands on your file to find your address, but he had San now so it was less trouble. After school the eight of them went to your apartment. Some things were stacked at the door and Seonghwa was starting to get irritated. He politely knocked, but that got no response. He tried again, more aggressive and calling out your name but nothing. He tried listening but it sounded like the place was empty. Without thinking he kicked in the door, stepping inside. The others followed, and they all spread out. He would have thought no one was home, but he soon enough found you on the living room floor wrapped up in blankets, a mess of papers around you. Hongjoong and San picked some up, looking them over.

“She looks to be studying for a GED.” Hongjoong reported. “Or at least doing research on how to get one.”

“These seem to be job listings.” San added. “She’s really gonna drop out cause of me…”

“Not you, me.” Seonghwa stated. “Might have pushed the little thing too much. I should have just cut to it.”

Seonghwa knelt down, seeing a half eaten blood bag around. You weren’t getting proper meals from school anymore, and were probably rationing what little bit you had at home. He did feel guilty for playing around with you for as long as he did. It wouldn’t have gone so far if San hadn’t gotten involved, but he didn’t mind the new friend. He reached over and pet your head.

“Y/n, wake up.”

You groaned, slowly lifting your head up and peeking your eyes open. You could vaguely make out Seonghwa before you, confused. You hadn’t been eating much, so you were certain this wasn’t real.

“Seonghwa... what are you doing here…”

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me.”

“Why would I... hallucinate you…”

“I’m a hallucination?”

“Why else would you... be here…”

“Good question. Why would you hallucinate me?”

“I don’t know... cause I liked you... at one point…”

“Did you now?”

“You were... nice… thought we… could be friends…”

“Me too.”

“Huh?”

“Go back to sleep for me, okay. Just close your eyes and go back to sleep.”

“Hm… okay.”

You laid your head back down, closing your eyes. To you it was just a dream that would fade in your memory. For Seonghwa though, it was confirmation on what he needed to do. He carefully pulled back the blankets, not wanting to wake you.

“Let’s go.”

“Are you taking her home?” San asked.

“Something like that.”

🖤

The boys always followed Seonghwa without question, even San had quickly fallen into the fold. Wherever they were heading, it made the others excited, but San was curious. He had yet to know everything that goes on with Seonghwa. They had driven to the city, going into an alleyway. The keys were handed over and Seonghwa stepped up to a door, knocking.

“Who is it?”

“A friendly face.”

A slot in the metal door opened up, revealing red glowing eyes. Seonghwa offered up a smile, his eyes matching the crimson color.

“Identification.”

“Of course.”

Seonghwa held up his hand, using his claws to cut deep into his wrist, enough to properly draw blood. As it flowed down his arm a symbol began to glow. The gentleman behind the door closed the peep hole, and unlocked the entrance, opening it and gesturing for Seonghwa to enter. Although when the doorman realized your unconscious body in Yunho’s arm he stopped Seonghwa.

“No outside food.”

“She’ll be dining with us tonight.”

“Fledglings aren’t allowed either.”

“I know, and she’s not one. It is her first time though, so congratulate her on her awakening.” Seonghwa pushed the gentleman aside. “I hope my usual room is available.”

“Of course.”

“Oh, and remember the little favors I brought in before. I’d like them now.”

“Yes, sir.”

Seonghwa led his people to a VIP lounge, having Yunho set you down on the couch. The others had been there before, immediately going over to the open bar and getting some drinks.

“Everything is laced with blood, so take it easy, San. We’re still working on your blood lust.”

“I know.”

Everyone got themselves a drink, settling around the room. Seonghwa sat by you, letting you rest your head in his lap. He pet your hair for a while, letting you rest. Although you had to wake up at some point. Seonghwa took a sip of his glass, and then held it up to your nose.

“Hm…”

“Wake up, darling.”

“Uh…”

You groggily opened your eyes, slowly trying to take in your surroundings. You sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“Where…” This place was completely unfamiliar. “What the hell…”

“It’s good to see you.”

Your gaze snapped over to the voice, seeing Seonghwa at your side. He raised his glass to you with a smile and took a sip. Now you were wide awake, seeing all the others around the room drinking, even San.

“What… what is this place?”

“My go-to, it’s quite wonderful.”

“Wait… how am I here? I was at home… how did you-”

“San walked you home a few times, so we knew where to go.” Seonghwa finished his drink. “You’ve been missing school. That’s very unlike you.”

“How would you know?”

“Were you really planning on running away?”

“That’s none of your concern.”

“Oh, but it is. How could I let such a pretty thing get away from me.”

“Maybe if you had been nicer-”

“That wouldn’t change anything. My kindness would leave you just as weak, and just as vulnerable as you’ve always been.”

“And being a dick was supposed to help me?”

“I’ll admit, I took it too far. I never intended for someone else to get involved.” Seonghwa glanced over at San for a moment. “I don’t mind the extra company though. He’s coming along nicely, and so will you.”

“I already told you to leave me alone. This is kidnapping!”

“You already saw how reporting me to the teachers went, you think this will be any different?”

“I’m leaving.”

You got up to leave, and Seonghwa called out for someone to come in. As you reached the door they suddenly opened by themselves, three girls stepping in. Their eyes were glassy, and you could tell they weren’t fully aware of what was going on, but what stood out was that you recognized them. They were your old classmates, the ones who had always picked on you.

“What… what is this?”

“A gift.”

“Gift?”

“They’re not gonna do anything to you, but you are free to do anything with them.”

“What?! You think I want something like this?”

“Yes, I’m aware you refuse to listen to reason, so we’ll do this my way.”

“Your way involves kidnapping. Last time you tried to shove human blood down my throat!”

“San took that for you, what a hero.”

“Asshole.”

“Aren’t you tired, love?” Seonghwa asked. “Of being weak and defenseless. You remained that way at your old school so you could stay there, so you wouldn’t hurt anyone. Yet you were punished for it, and had to hold yourself together for the sake of peace, but tell me, what have humans done for peace?”

“You may hate humans for whatever reason, but I’m not like you!”

“I don’t hate them, I just know I’m better than them. You are too, even in your weakened state, but you can be just as great as I am.”

“I don’t want it!”

“Why!” Seonghwa snapped. “I can not understand any of you who refuse human blood. That is our true source of life, the source of our power, and yet you deny your instincts as if that makes you better than the rest of us!”

“I don’t think I’m better than you!”

“Then why do you deny your true nature?”

“Because I’m afraid…”

“What? You’re afraid? What do you have to fear?”

“… turning into a monster…”

“You said something like that when we first met. Are the rest of us in this room monsters?”

“I may have gone to a human school, but I did study vampire history. There are those of us who struggle to control their hunger. They wind up locked up… and if they can’t control themselves… they’re killed…”

“You think you’ll turn into some monster?”

“I don’t know. But I’m not going to take that chance, so I won’t drink human blood.”

“Oh, y/n, you don’t have to be afraid.” Seonghwa came up to you, taking your hands in his. “I’ll be right here to make sure you don’t lose control. Just as I watch over my boys, as I watch over San. We’ll all look after you.”

You didn’t know what to do anymore. You had laid yourself out bare for Seonghwa and the others to see. Admitting to your fears. You knew Seonghwa’s words weren’t a lie. Despite what he had done to San he hadn’t left the boy to suffer or cause trouble. They got along just like friends. Seonghwa gently tugged you along, closer to one of the girls. He bit into her neck, getting a small taste before pulling away and licking his lips. He pulled you closer, the smell of fresh blood hitting you, making you a bit dizzy.

“You’ll love it.”

“We… we’re not supposed to feed off humans… the bite…”

“These humans have been here a while. You’d be doing them a favor.”

“What?”

“Come on now. You’ve wondered why I’ve done everything I have, and it’s been for this. You shouldn’t be weak, letting others walk all over you. I want you to be powerful, I want you to be true to yourself.”

Your throat felt dry, and you swallowed nervously. Things have changed for you. There wasn’t much reason to fear your nature. You took a step forward, drawing out your fangs. Seonghwa gave you a smile, gently tilting the girls head to the side to expose her neck more. In the moment you desperately wanted to sink your fangs in. To know what it felt like to drink fresh blood, to drink human blood, to feel powerful, but you stepped back, shutting your eyes.

“No…”

“Hm?”

“I won’t…”

“Y/n, you don’t have to be scared. I won’t let you turn into a monster.”

“And I believe that, but this is still my choice. I don’t want to drink human blood. You should respect that.”

Seonghwa scoffed. “I thought for sure this approach would suit you better, but I see I’ve just wasted my time again.”

“I do appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but this is where I must refuse you.”

“That’s not an option. Grab her.”

“Seonghwa!”

You only took a few steps before Yeosang and Wooyoung were holding you in place. You weren’t as strong as them, and far weaker now, but that never stopped you from fighting. Wherever you were now, you were completely at Seonghwa’s mercy. You were scared of turning into a monster, but you were afraid of Seonghwa as well.

“Let me go! Seonghwa! This isn’t right! You can’t just force someone to do something they don’t want!”

“You’re right, but this is for your own good.”

“Seonghwa!”

“San thanked me in the end, you will too.”

Seonghwa sunk his fangs into the girl again, drinking heavily. When he pulled away she collapsed to the floor. He took in a deep breath, his lips stained with blood. As he approached you leaned back, trying to avoid him, but you could only go so far.

“This will be so good.”

Seonghwa took your head in his hands and pulled you into a deep kiss. You tried not to give in, but the second you tasted blood your eyes went wide. You were suddenly kissing back, wanting more and more of this sweet taste. The two who were holding you let go, allowing Seonghwa to pull you closer. It was so easy to get lost in the taste, in him, but as the blood on his lips disappeared, you came back to your senses. You were soon horrified by your actions, trying to move away from Seonghwa but he had his arms wrapped around you.

“What’s wrong? Didn’t you enjoy that?”

“No… no, no, no!”

You started squirming in Seonghwa’s grasp, but he didn’t intend on letting you go. You already had a taste, and going back was practically impossible. He had won, but you didn’t want to give in. If he wasn’t going to let you go you opted to continue with your plans regardless. You stuck your fingers down your throat, wanting to throw up the blood before you truly took it in.

“Ah, ah, none of that!”

Seonghwa quickly pulled your hand away and turned you around, having your back pressed against his chest. He placed his hand over your mouth, his other arm around your waist and holding you still. You tried to move his hand away, but forced your head back against his shoulder, giving you little room to move.

“Just let it happen, baby. You’re going to be much happier.”

You had tears streaming down your face, not wanting to admit to any of this. You still had a chance, you kept telling yourself that. Even with the little bit of human blood you had, your strength wasn’t at his level. If you wanted him to let you go, you needed to try something else. You managed to move his hand just enough so you could draw your fangs and bite him. Your actions caught him off guard and he let you go. You collapsed to the floor, coughing and spitting out blood, then it hit you and you froze.

“Aish, you’re a little psycho, aren’t you? Leave her.” Seonghwa ordered his boys to stay where they were. “She won’t be trouble anymore. Isn’t that right?”

“Why… why does…” Blood was dripping out of your mouth. “… why is… your blood… sweeter… than humans…”

“You already know the answer. You said you studied our history.”

“That’s… impossible…”

“Is it?”

“Your kind was wiped out.”

“Oh please, that’s what we wanted you all to believe. As if you could get rid of us.”

“You can’t be!”

“Perhaps I should have snuck you my blood beforehand. It would have made things easier, but I did want you to make the right choice in the end. You didn’t, but that’s alright.”

“…”

“There’s no point denying it or worrying about the truth. You won’t tell anyone, I won’t let you.”

“You can’t… you can’t be…”

“Come here.” Seonghwa said. “Crawl to me.”

You couldn’t say no, looking over to see that Seonghwa had gotten a drink and sat down. You crawled over to him, keeping your head down. When you got to him you got on your knees.

“Look at me, love.” You raised your gaze to him. “Still don’t believe me?”

“When you said… I wouldn’t turn into a monster…”

“I meant it. It’s my gift after all. The power of a royal vampire, able to control humans like others, but also vampires, once they have a taste of royal blood that is. All it takes is a drop. Incredible, isn’t it?”

“…”

“You don’t have to be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you, that was never my goal. I just wanted you to be true to yourself.”

“You mean a real vampire.”

“One in the same.”

“So I was right… you are a monster…”

Seonghwa laughed. “Say what you want. I’ll wipe away all those pesky thoughts of yours soon enough.”

“San… and the others, they’ve all-”

“Had a taste of my blood, yes. It’s important to keep order.”

“You’re controlling them!”

“They listen to me, love, I don’t control every action of theirs.”

“Same thing, isn’t it?”

“Hm, you really do have quite a mouth.”

“This is why your kind shouldn’t exist! You’re all just power hungry monsters who take whatever they want without consequence! Your kind is the reason-”

“Silence! You shouldn’t be babbling on about things you know nothing about! You think the way we live now maintains peace between vampires and humans? Don’t kid yourself. You’ve suffered first hand because of those creatures. They are beneath you.”

“And so am I, aren’t I?”

“You shouldn’t sell yourself short. I went through a lot of trouble for you.”

Seonghwa had one of the other girls come to his side. He bit into her neck, getting a good mouth full before moving away.

“Things will change one day.” Seonghwa ran his fingers along the wound, licking the blood off them. “And proper order will be restored to this world.”

“You-”

“Come here, have a drink. I know you want to, so give in.”

Your throat was suddenly dry again, and the world was starting to fade. All you could hear was the heart beat of the girl, salivating by merely thinking of the blood in her veins. Despite your best efforts to hold yourself together you moved towards the human, exposing your fangs. Seonghwa happily watched you, whispering encouraging things as you bit into the girls neck. Your mouth was immediately filled with sweet blood, and you swallowed it down with ease. You shut your eyes as you drank, the action feeling natural to you, and every gulp was making you feel so good. You had no intention of stopping, but Seonghwa eventually pulled you off, wiping the blood off your lips with his thumb, getting a taste for himself afterwards.

“Easy now, I can’t have you killing the little thing. We have to be careful of our precious livestock here.”

“This place…”

“Sh, it’s nothing to worry about.” Seonghwa pulled you into his lap. “All you have to do is be happy. You’re free now. No need to be afraid, no need to pretend that you actually care about humans.”

“I…”

“Sh, sh, sh… I’ve been waiting so long for this.”

Seonghwa ripped into your shirt, exposing your neck. He inhaled your scent, noting the changes. He drew his fangs, running them along your neck before taking a bite. A soft moan escaped your lips. He had bitten you before, but this felt different, this felt better. You let the feeling consume you, the edges of your vision going dark as Seonghwa pulled away. He was breathing heavily, grabbing your chin to see your little blissed out expression.

“Just as I imagined, you taste divine. Don’t worry, darling, I’ll give you what you want too.”

Seonghwa pulled you in for a kiss, sharing a taste of you. He watched you for a moment before pulling your head closer to his neck.

“Go on now, you know what to do.”

Even in your daze you’d recognize his scent, his heartbeat, and you wanted to taste him again. You sunk your fangs into Seonghwa’s neck, practically moaning as you drank from him. He held your head, petting you, his own blissed out smile present on his face. Seonghwa wanted you from the moment he laid eyes on you. He could have had you at any moment, but he wanted you to choose him. Things had gone way off course, but he knew you had picked him in the end. So what came next didn’t matter much, you were his.

“Good girl… that’s a good girl…”

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