#and I thought I’d be really anxious about it but I’m��� fine? :0
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ghosts-and-blue-sweaters · 1 year ago
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Hiiii, Ghost!
How are you?
Autumn ask game!
chestnut - Name five things you're passionate about.
Have a great day!
Helloooooo :D
Name five things you're passionate about.
1. Ukulele!! I love love loooove playing my ukulele :D It’s so much fun and the strings sound so good and the sound ough I freaking love the sound it’s so light and pretty and EEEEEEEEE!!! I get so very excited when I see ukuleles in any form of media :) Like yes!! That’s my instrument!!!
2. Autism! I’m not autistic myself but I find the whole thing to be extremely interesting, and I’ve done a whole lot of research on it over the years. How it presents itself in different people, and the effects it has, and just… I find it to be really cool.
3. Writing! In my writing/literature class, I always perk up and widen my eyes whenever the teacher mentions writing XD Whether it’s journaling or a creative piece of fiction, I love writing. It brings me so much excitement :D
4. Music music music music music music music music MUSIC
5. Long car rides. I adore long car rides lol. Always get excited over ‘em.
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friedwormeater · 8 months ago
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the only thing I've ever known; sable ward x mikaela reid
A/n- this is my first fic don't yell at me too hard.. but yell at me a little bit !!
Ch 0: Prologue, October 3rd
“Whaaat? There’s no way you’re telling me that made sense!” Mikaela looked at her friend and said as they walked home from the movie theater. Staying up to go to the midnight showing of Donnie Darko was Sable’s idea, which Mikaela happily funded. Knowing her friend was without a job and having her ask her parents for movie theater money at the dead of night probably wouldn’t have gone well. 
“Not perfect sense.. I’d probably need to see it another time, but I got the jist!” Sable prided herself on usually being able to understand movies like these and being able to help explain them to Mikaela if she’s lost halfway through the movie, but this one threw both of them for a loop.
The Greenville movie theater was doing a ‘31 days of Halloween’ event, where for each day of October they’d have a midnight showing of a different horror film, each one promising to be scarier than the last. Sable felt like this was her calling, staying up late and indulging in fantastical gore and prolonged misery on the big screen. Everything felt like it was falling into place for her, spending time with her best friend, Halloween right around the corner? A scary movie every single day? Things were finally going her way.
Mikaela speaks up. Breaking her friend out of her thought bubble.
“…Could we maybe do our radio show tomorrow? I’m still exhausted after my shift at Moonstone.” Mikaela’s face almost seemed to droop, she had no idea where Sable always got so much energy this late at night. Going to these midnight showings and discussing their thoughts until the wee hours over the shortwave had become a quick tradition. The radio was usually in Sable’s attic, but the two had brought it over to Mikaela’s house, specifically a large closet in her room so her roommate doesn’t hear them yapping.
Home wasn’t always a good place for Sable and being able to stay at Mikaela’s place and talk about something the two were interested in was the perfect way to take her mind off things.
“That’s fine!” Sable smiled and looked at her friend. She had really wanted to pick her brain about the movie, but she bought the tickets and popcorn plus a large soda they shared so Sable wasn’t going to argue. “I guess our esteemed listeners will have to go without their favorite guest speaker..” She playfully added, shooting her friend a sly little grin. 
‘Guest speaker?’ Mikaela’s face curled a bit with agitation, she’d been on All Things Wicked This Night just as much as her counterpart, Mikaela stopped and turned to Sable, getting ready to argue but… as soon as she saw Sables curt, cute smile, the annoyance bled out of her. Mikaela’s face softened, as she stared at her friend solemnly, the cool night breeze surrounding them as they took their break from walking. 
The pair locked eyes for what was only a few moments, but to them it felt longer, they stared and analyzed each other's faces for a moment. An anxious feeling rising from their stomachs, it had felt as though the earth stood still, that everything else had fallen off the face of the planet and the only thing in each other's existence was each other.
Mikaela slowly raised her hand to Sable’s cheek, holding her face so softly. Their heartbeats raced in their tired state, Mikaela had kissed plenty of folks before, either when playing spin-the-bottle or past boyfriends… Kissing them felt like a favor, like something she was doing more for the other person instead of herself.
Sable had never been touched like this before. Not so gently, not even her own parents would hug her or even give her a pat on the back. Mikaela’s hand warmed her cold face, her warmth spread throughout Sable’s very soul, everything was right at this moment, everything else could fade away… but something was wrong.
Mikaela closed her eyes slowly, leaning in. Sable’s heart felt like it was about to pop. She turned away from her friend, looking off to the other side of the road. Mikaela snapped back to reality, pulling herself back and removing her hand in embarrassment and quickly putting them into her pockets, away and out of sight from Sable. “That’s alright.. I understand..” Mikaela stammers, attempting to regain her composure.
“No.. Mikaela, wait.. I’ve never…” Sable holds her hands together and looks down at her shoes, face rosy and pink as she continues. “..I’ve always wanted it to be at a time when..” She trails off, sounding like she had more to say, before raising her hand and pointing across the street. “..At a time when there wasn’t someone staring at us..”
Mikaela’s head shoots in the direction Sable pointed to, expecting some creep to be perving out on them but.. to her surprise it was her roommate Julian, waving to them from across the street.
She waved back over to them, Sable looked confused, then she clocked them. She had seen Mikaela and Julian hanging out before and working together on school projects, but never really bothered to ask about them and just assumed they were friends or… Sable swallowed the saliva building up in her mouth as a terrible thought brewed in her mind… Were they dating? Either way, they were all headed back to their place now, Sable tailed the two tentatively while they caught up.
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thinkin-bout-milgram · 2 years ago
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Tear Drop: Initial Thoughts
Hey, Venus here again with my off the cuff and early morning/late night theory! 
So, on the whole, I feel like Tear Drop gave us a lot less to work with than All Knowing and All Agony. AKAA had a lot of new information as well as some really clear graphics, whereas this one I feel like expands upon stuff I was already pretty sure about. In any case, I’m going to do about the same thing that I did with Haruka and go through my various thoughts and overall standing on Yuno.
Yuno is being portrayed as a cat for some reason.
At the beginning of the MV (0:15), we see a cat silhouette in white light turn into a silhouette of Yuno with the cat ears like hairstyle. I have actually no idea what this is supposed to mean, but figured I’d toss it out there.
Yuno has stopped seeing things through rose colored glasses.
The rose colored glasses initially show up on the stuffed animal she receives as a gift from one of her lovers. The stuffed animal looks at Yuno through these, probably reflecting her clients; the clients see her through rose colored glasses as the “poor naive little girl.”
However, she takes those glasses for most of the MV, seemingly looking at her work through them. Look at this! Her work gets her money, and it’s not all so bad. Clearly, it’s fine. 
Obviously, this is a bit of a front as she cries and the song is called Tear Drop. At the end, after she breaks the rose colored glasses and starts looking at reality, she seems much happier, right? She’s breaking free.
Yuno doesn’t think of her clients like real people and establishes no connection with them.
The thing that interested me the most here was how the different Yunos interact with each other. At the beginning, the Yuno in lingerie (who I'll be calling the real Yuno here) seems almost mad on behalf of the Yuno dressed in white, who appears like nothing more than a doll (0:59). Then, the two Yunos go to bed. Later on in the video, though, the Yuno in white gives a cold real Yuno a blanket (2:07). 
I think that the white Yuno is basically a doll to her, given that it's a front that lacks personality. The scene where they go to bed illustrates that there's no emotional connection there, that it's just her by herself emotionally in those moments. However, as the blanket scene illustrates, Yuno gets what she needs from the relationship: assets in the form of money, and perhaps more importantly, warmth. 
 Yuno's first MV had a focus on "let's reload the warmth," and there's a similar idea behind the line at 2:24: "the fading warmth makes me anxious again." A blanket is a perfect symbol for Yuno, because in her line of work, warmth seems to equal survival. She needs warmth to stay alive. Here in Milgram, she's become cold. I wonder what that'll mean?
Yuno probably had a lot of abortion scares and did nothing to change it.
I’m still not sure about that “hellish” comment, but this is the best I can come up with, really. 
Saturn saw a note by @snakeroll​ that I totally agree with. At 2:45, the windows behind Yuno look like this: 
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They look like pregnancy tests. However, because pregnancy tests are usually one line for not pregnant and two lines for pregnant, these are probably tests that are coming back negative.
Still, the fact that she’s seemingly taken at least four negative pregnancy tests if not more means that Yuno is regularly worried about the concept. That means she’s probably not really using much of any contraceptives and has to check basically after every single time.
Assuming Yuno does eventually get pregnant, that does show some irresponsibility on her part. Still, especially if it’s abortion, I still don’t really see how that could possibly stack up to the real murder that others have committed...?
If anyone gets the shots at 2:15 or 2:21, let me know. I feel like they mean something important, but I don’t really get what.
Vampire???
The Yuno vampire cover was really weird, and more importantly, the cover for vampire is in Yuno’s MV. Is this symbolizing the cover getting more important? Is it emphasizing the vampire aspect, that Yuno is gaining by taking away from others? I’m not sure what it’s doing there, but it’s making me uncomfortable.
Current vote: INNOCENT
I don’t see what Yuno did wrong??
Right now, I feel like she’s in a state of self loathing because she feels she, as an unapologetic woman who’s had to use herself to get what she needs, cannot possibly be innocent or forgiven by society. I disagree.
I want to tell Yuno she’s valid! Barring something terrible in the audio drama, I’m currently intending to continue her on her innocent path.
Let me know what y’all think!!
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luminnara · 3 years ago
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God Damn, Shit Sucking Vampires | Poly lost boys x oc CH 9
(oops no gif because the ones i want won’t upload right now)
Just as a reminder, lost boys requests are OPEN!
Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10
Tags:  @americancowgirl19 @ilikechocolatemilkh
Warnings: Blood, gore, vampire things
Hearing a strange voice in her head nearly drove Vera into a panic. When she realized she was hearing Max, she nearly flew into a second panic, the sire’s strong, firm voice only reassuring her that all of her fears were correct and he wasn’t going to like her very much. 
As she walked along the beach, bare toes sinking into the sand, Dwayne at her side, Vera briefly wondered how hard it would be to kill Max if it came down to a struggle. Did she have a chance against him? Maybe, if she stooped low enough to cry for her own sire, he would come and take care of it—
“Hey, chill out,” Dwayne said, stopping and turning towards her slightly. “What’s wrong?”
She realized she had halted and was simply standing there, staring at nothing as her mind raced. He could probably feel how freaked out she was getting, and as she looked at him, she found a gentle, understanding expression on his face. 
“C’mere,” he said, his voice low and rumbly and comforting. 
He opened his arms in invitation and she dove right in, moving quickly and desperately enough that she knocked him right onto his ass. He landed in the sand with a laugh, situating the two of them so that she could sit in his lap and they could face the dark, never ending ocean. 
“Did Max freak you out?” Dwayne asked as Vera tucked her head under his chin. 
“...a little.” 
“Why?”
She sighed. Something about Dwayne made her feel so safe that she was actually considering talking with him about things she hadn’t even told David yet. “Because I’m not used to this. I’m used to vampires who want me out of their territory the second I even get close, and I can’t really blame them.”
“This is your territory, too.” He said. “You’re the one who’ll be kicking people out of it now.”
“I don’t think Max is going to like me.” She grumbled. 
“Why not?”
She was quiet for a moment, fiddling with the zipper of his jacket. “Because he’ll see me as a threat.”
“Max isn’t like that.”
“You’re just saying that now because he’s your sire.”
“No, I’m saying it because I mean it.” Dwayne rested his cheek on the top of her head, his hand absentmindedly rubbing circles on her back. “Max wants a family. Now you’re part of that family.”
He sounded so sure of his own words that Vera was actually feeling inclined to believe him for a moment. “Parents don’t tend to like me.”
“Anyone who can handle having Paul in their pack can handle you.”
She scoffed. “He isn’t that bad.”
“Maybe to you.” Dwayne chuckled. He tightened his arms around her when he realized that his jokes weren’t very reassuring. “Max is a good man. A good sire.”
“Why?” Vera asked. “What does he do that makes you like him so much?”
“Well,” Dwayne situated them a bit better, getting more comfortable. “He’s fair. He acts stern, but...he sees himself as our father.”
“Don’t they always?” Vera grumbled. 
“He calls David his prodigal son, but he always wanted a whole family. He ended up with the four of us.”
“So, what? He plucked you all up out of the gutter and that makes him a good guy?”
“Why are you so determined to hate him?”
“I’m not!” she protested. “I’m just...wary.”
“Max gave us new lives.” Dwayne sighed. “He found us back in San Francisco after we got ourselves in some trouble with another vampire.”
Vera had to snort in amusement at that. “Seriously? Who’d you pick a fight with? Dracula?”
“Well…”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
He flashed her a smile. “How were we supposed to know who he was?”
“Humans really have no self preservation instincts, do they?”
“Apparently not.” Dwayne chuckled, squeezing her. 
“How long ago was it?”
“1906, same year as that big earthquake. Tore the whole city apart...it was the perfect time for four vampires to start learning how to survive, with all that chaos. People were dead, more were missing...nobody noticed a few more disappearing here and there.”
“Is that why Max and, uh...Vlad were there?” Vera asked. 
“I imagine.” Dwayne shrugged. “We resisted at first. David was especially pissed off.”
“Yeah, I can see that.” Vera laughed quietly. 
“But...we took to the lifestyle pretty quickly.”
“And that’s that?” Vera asked. 
“That’s that.” he shrugged. “Max wants to be a father figure. He turned David because he wanted a son, and he taught him everything he knew. Then, he decided David needed companions, and he happened to find me not long after. Then the others. Max isn’t a bad guy, Vera. You’ll see.”
“That’s what everybody says about their own sire.” she said, looking out at the black waves as they crashed against the sand just a few feet in front of her. “Everyone wants to talk their sires up, because without them, we’re nothing. Just because your own sire is nice to you doesn’t mean he’ll be nice to me.”
“What’s so bad about your own that you think ours is so awful?”
The question hung in the air for a moment, Vera’s mouth pressing into a thin line. “Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Dwayne opened his eyes, rubbing his cheek over the top of her head affectionately. 
“I’m not.”
“I know that you are, though.”
Vera let out a frustrated noise, then heaved a sigh. Maybe talking about this could be good for her. Maybe verbalizing thoughts and fears that she’d been living with for centuries could finally help her get over them...and if anyone was a good listener, it would be Dwayne. 
“Okay, fine.” she said. “What’s so bad about my sire? Everything. Everything is what’s bad about him, literally.”
“Where’s he from?” Dwayne asked. 
“The old country. Like...the old old country.”
“Why are you so reluctant to talk about him?” Dwayne’s voice was low and gentle, barely audible over the sound of the waves. 
“Because he’s got a reputation.” she fiddled with the hem of her shorts. “Most older vampires know of him. You guys might not, and if we had a different situation, I’d say it should stay that way.”
“That serious, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
“Hmm.” Dwayne’s chest rumbled. “The others should hear about this, too.”
“Yeah, they should.” she sighed again, her voice small. She felt small in general, all curled up in Dwayne’s lap like that. Small and helpless. She wasn’t, though, and she didn’t want them to think that she was. So she cleared her throat, trying to muster as much confidence as she could, ignoring the mild twisting in her gut. “I’ll tell you guys everything tomorrow night.”
Dwayne made a small, impatient sound. 
“Max will want to hear, too.”
“That’s a good point,” he admitted. “You know, I still need to hunt for you…”
Vera perked up slightly. The thought of food made the tight feeling in her chest loosen up slightly, and she looked at Dwayne eagerly. “Yes, please.”
He laughed, wrapping his arms around her as he stood and set her back on her feet. “Then let’s go find some snacks, Princess.”
-0-
“You know, we don’t have to do this. We could just go back to the cave--”
“What happened to that tough attitude you had a few days ago?” David raised an eyebrow, looking amused as he pulled Vera off the back of his bike.
“I’m still tough,” she growled, knowing that he could very easily feel how nervous she was. 
“Come on, babe,” Paul parked his bike next to David’s and bounded over to her. “You’ll be fine.”
“We’d never let anything happen to ya,” Marko said, following Paul. 
Vera knew he was telling the truth, but it didn’t make her feel any better. She had barely slept the entire day, waking up restless and on edge as soon as the sun disappeared, and it had taken a good deal of coaxing from David to even get her to leave the roost. They took Star and Laddie to the boardwalk, dropped them off with some cash, and then headed off to Max’s house.
David told Vera along the way that Star and Laddie weren’t allowed to know where Max lived. They really weren’t allowed to know anything about him in general, in order to protect him, so when the pack walked up to the front gate of their sire’s home, it was only the four boys who accompanied Vera. She didn’t mind; having Star around would have only put her more on edge, probably, and she had been glad to leave the halfling behind. 
As she faced the gated bridge that led to Max’s completely normal-looking, Californian home, Vera did everything she could to act confident. She squared her shoulders, held her chin up, and pretended that she had nothing to worry about...but the boys could see right through the facade, and as they joined her, they all fell into a little formation. In moments, Vera was surrounded by them, David offering his arm while the others stepped into their spots behind. It made her feel better, knowing that they were all there to protect her...but at the same time, she still wished they were all out wandering the boardwalk. 
“So brave,” David sneered as she took his arm. 
“Shut up.” she growled, vaguely aware of Dwayne’s hand on her lower back. 
“Relax,” Marko purred. 
“Don’t you dare tell me to relax, Marko, I swear—“
The barking of a rapidly approaching dog interrupted her, the sound of paws thumping rhythmically against the wooden walkway drawing her attention away from the boys. A big white hellhound was barreling towards the gate, all teeth and rage, and although it looked like it wanted to tear her limbs off, the sight of such a beast made Vera temporarily forget why she was so anxious. Even as it barked and snarled and threw itself against the gate, she thought that it was absolutely adorable.
“Oh, look at you!” She squealed as the boys all jumped back. When she took a step forward, David tried to yank her towards him, but she slipped away easily, too focused on this hellhound to care. 
“You’re such a big handsome boy,” she said, in a voice that made Paul jealous. 
“No fair,” he grumbled, crossing his arms. “Why’s the dumb dog get all that?”
Marko glanced at the taller blond nervously. “Don’t call him dumb, you remember what happened last time?”
Paul groaned, rolling his eyes at the memory of nearly losing a hand. 
The dog stopped barking as Vera approached, falling silent as it sniffed the air around her. The vicious look on its face was gone, replaced by curiosity, and when Vera ignored David’s irritated warnings and reached over the gate to pet it, the animal whined. 
“You must be Thorn,” Vera cooed, scratching behind its ears. “What a big, brave, hell-y hellhound you are, yes you are!”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Paul said as he watched. 
“What?” Vera asked, looking over her shoulder at him. 
“Thorn doesn’t like any of us.” Marko huffed. “Why’s he like you so much?”
“Well...he can probably smell my sire on me,” Vera said. “Might remind him of home. Hellhounds usually like me because of that.”
“...Home?” Paul asked. 
“I’ll tell you later.”
“But I wanna know now!” he whined.
Thorn growled at him. 
“Thorn!” a male voice called from the other end of the little bridge. 
Vera immediately stiffened. The front door of the house had opened, and in it stood a man, wearing a very stylish suit and horn rimmed glasses. Thorn heeded his master’s call, giving Paul one last woof before trotting back towards Max. His departure freed the front gate, and David brushed past Vera to open it, taking her hand and leading the gang across the walkway. 
“Boys,” Max greeted as they approached him. He offered David a stern smile, one which David didn’t return, and when Max’s eyes fell upon Vera all tucked up against his side, his eyes narrowed slightly. “And you must be Vera.”
She didn’t like that he knew her name. It was inevitable that he’d find out what it was, but still...she kept clinging to the hope that maybe, he wouldn’t learn too much about her. The boys seemed so convinced that Max was just an annoying father, but as Vera took him in, she could see that behind the trendy, 80s-dad facade, there was an old, powerful vampire, and those were the kind she didn’t get along with very well. 
“Well, come in, everyone, before dinner gets cold. I made sure to get all your favorites, boys.” Max stepped to the side, inviting them over the threshold in a very courteous way, one that suggested he had nothing to fear from the boys or Vera.
“You shouldn’t have,” David sneered sarcastically as he walked in. 
“Would it kill you to be nice?” Vera hissed. 
He rolled his eyes.
Max noticed the exchange with a bemused expression on his face. “Go on in and sit down. The table’s already set.”
The house was nice. It wasn’t incredibly extravagant, by any means, but it was perfectly well decorated, modern art that Vera didn’t quite know how to appreciate hanging on the walls. Everything was clean and organized, not a speck of dust in sight, as opposed to the state of decay the boys kept their lair in. Max seemed to enjoy playing the role of a video store owner, and his home reflected that; if anyone came to visit, they wouldn’t see a single item out of place, nor would they have any reason to be suspicious of him. There were no torture devices, no loose vials of blood sitting around, no skulls or human skin nailed up. It looked so...normal. 
Vera almost stopped to wonder why exactly she was so nervous...and then she heard the whimpering.
“Geez, Max,” Paul remarked as they rounded the corner and entered the dining room, “you really shouldn’t have.”
“Well, fresh caught is always the best,” Max said. “Don’t you agree?”
“Hell yeah,” Marko growled, lips pulled back in a grin. 
The dining room table was covered in an array of meats, from a suckling pig in the center to a rack of ribs at the end. Six chairs surrounded the feast, plates and cutlery set out at each spot, with big glass goblets already half full of blood ready and waiting. Next to each chair stood a human, frozen due to both fear and Max’s vampire magic, a couple of them shaking and considerably more conscious than the others. 
Max walked to his place at the head of the table, Thorn at his side as he took his seat. David sat at the far end, facing him, his eyes dark and hungry as he held himself back. Dwayne sat at David’s left side, Vera at his right, while Paul and Marko took the remaining two chairs and tried not to completely lose their minds. They were shaking almost as much as the humans were, Paul looking at his blood donor eagerly while Marko held a little sneer on his face that suggested he was about ten seconds from ripping his apart.
“Dig in, everyone,” Max said, taking his cloth napkin and tucking it into his shirt collar. “But please try not to make a mess. There’s more than enough here for each of you.”
David immediately grabbed the arm of his meal, sinking his fangs in and taking a drink while Max preferred to drain his into the goblet he had set out for himself. Vera could only watch, stunned, as the carnage began, and before long, she was joining in. The human Max had caught for her was a middle aged clergyman, and she had to tear through his holy sleeve to get to his flesh. 
She didn’t mind, though; she very rarely ever got to eat members of the clergy. They were generally too much work to hunt down, and since she had an aversion to churches, well...like most vampires, she tended to leave them alone. It was hard to nab them without making a spectacle and letting the entire town know that something was amiss. So, all things considered, a little bit of extra work involving a mouthful of fabric was worth it. This was like a special treat for her, and she couldn’t help but drain him all in one go, still holding on even after he had collapsed in a bloodless heap on the floor. 
When she looked up, she realized that Max was watching her. 
“So,” he said, speaking over the hellish sounds of the others slurping up their meals, “I believe some congratulations are in order. Welcome to the family, Vera.”
She swallowed her last mouthful of blood and looked at him. “Uh...thanks. I-I mean, thank you.”
Max picked up his silverware, cutting a slice of ham for himself. “Where are you from, Vera?”
“I wander,” she said, following suit and stabbing her fork into a raw steak. 
“I’ve surmised that much,” Max chuckled good-naturedly. “I meant where are you from originally.”
“...oh.” She cleared her throat somewhat awkwardly. “Italy.”
“Italy!” Max exclaimed. “Such a lovely region. I haven’t visited The Mediterranean since I left the old country myself. If I didn’t have the shop here, perhaps I’d take a trip...have you been back recently?”
“No,” she crossed and uncrossed her legs, trying to act like she wasn’t fidgeting. She took a bite of her steak, focusing on the blood as it trickled down her throat. 
Max reached for his goblet, raising the blood to his lips and taking a drink. “And your sire, is he still in Europe?”
Vera almost choked on her food. 
By this point, the boys were all watching. Paul was licking blood off his lips while Marko still had his dinner’s forearm in his mouth, but David and Dwayne were both focused solely on the conversation at hand, their eyes narrowed slightly as they listened. 
When she realized that everyone was waiting, Vera coughed into her fist, clearing her throat. “Y-yes, he is.”
Max’s eyes darkened, despite the smile on his face. “You know you need to tell me about him, Vera.”
“There’s not much to tell,” she lied, turning back to her steak. “Just an ancient vampire, out there in the old country. Not very exciting.”
“Exciting or not, I’d still prefer to know who he is.” Max said. 
She shrugged, reaching for her glass to take a nervous drink. “I doubt you’d know him.”
“When you drink that blood, you’ll be joining our family.”
She froze, hand on the stem of the glass.
“I’m sure your sire will be able to feel it. I’d hate to be rude and not even know his name in the event he visits one day.”
Vera stared at the blood—Max’s blood—as her fingers tightened around the stem. “You don’t want him to visit.”
“Oh?” Max asked, appearing as relaxed as ever. “Why not?”
“Because of who he is.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “And what he can do.”
Dwayne and David glanced at each other. 
When Max spoke again, his voice was softer, gentler than before. “What is your sire’s name, Vera?”
With a great deal of effort, she opened her eyes again, still staring into the blood rather than at any of them. 
“Asmodeus.” She said. “My sire is Asmodeus.”
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sorryjustafangirl · 4 years ago
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mascot mysteries
a/n: me posting something that isn’t at like midnight? wow. anyway i thought this was a super cute idea so i hope you all enjoy it :)  this is also a gender neutral reader! and this is a covid-free AU
Pairing: Nolan Patrick x reader
Word Count: 1.8k
warnings: a few couple words, a little bit of anxious movements, Gritty (if that needs to be a warning)
disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and real person fiction if you don’t like that, please don’t read! also the gif isn’t mine! all credit to the incredible gif-maker!
tagging: @barzypatty​
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You walked into the Wells Fargo Center, admiring the arena. This was your dream job ever since college. Honestly you couldn’t believe you got it. You pull out your phone with the emailed instructions of where to go. You look for the “hallway next to the washroom” only to discover there are three different hallways that have signs directing to the washrooms. 
Well fuck. 
“Are you good there?” You look to your left to see two guys, likely players based on their attire. One was taller, with longer hair and a small smile. The other one was shorter but looked more rambunctious. It looked like there were in a little bit of a rush, but you were really lost. 
“I’m actually kind of lost. I’m looking for conference room B8? But the instructions I have are really vague, so I have, like, no idea where I’m going,” you admitted, folding into yourself a little bit.
“That’s on our way! Come with us, we’ll show you where it is,” the shorter one said, motioning you over to where the two of them had stopped. “So, you’ve never been here?”
“It’s actually my first day on the job, so, um no. I haven’t been here before either, I, uh, grew up in Canada,” You cursed yourself. This was your first impression with the organization and you couldn’t even make a conversation without the stammering.
“Cool! Me and Patty are from Canada too! Shit, sorry, I’m TK and that’s Patty,” He said, motioning to the taller guy beside him. “And don’t worry about getting lost, Pats here got lost on his first day too,”
“Good to know I’m not the only one whose bad with directions,” you directed your comment to Patty, making brief eye contact with him. A rosy blush brushed his cheeks and you caught a mumbled “yeah”
“What do you do….?” Patty prompted, his voice quiet, but somehow you still heard it. He couldn’t deny you were pretty. 
“Oh, sorry, I’m Y/N. And I’m in media? I don’t know my exact title, but working for one of the best marketed media teams was too good for me to, uh, turn down so…” You said, slightly talking in front of TK so you could answer Patty’s question.
“Oh cool! Maybe you’ll get to meet Gritty, he’s the fun residence troublemaker,” Travis popped in.
“I thought that was your job Teeks,” which earned a jab from TK into Patty, who just snickered. 
“Travis, bud!” The three of you stopped to see someone else motioning for TK, who jogged over to the other man. 
“C’mon, the conference room isn’t too much further, I’ll walk you there,” Patty said, already making some steps forward. After a small comfortable silence, he stopped in front of two double doors. “So, uh, this is it. Good luck on your first day,” 
“Oh! Thanks. And, um, thanks for showing me where it was,” You tugged down on your jacket. “I guess I’ll just….” you motioned behind you to the doors.
“Oh right, yeah, I’ll, uh, let you go,” You gave a small wave and turned towards the conference doors and he turned back to go where he came from, only to turn around after a few steps. “Hey Y/N?”
“Yeah?” You took a few steps back towards him.
“You’re in media, yeah? So you might be at games or maybe even practices?” He scratched the back of his neck, slightly mumbling towards the end.
“Uh, yeah maybe. I’m not too sure where they’ll put me just yet but I like being in the action. I know that might seem weird ‘cause I’m sorta shy and quiet but..” You wrung your hands together. 
“No, no, I get it. It’s like being a different person, when you’re behind the camera or something. You get to be someone else and it’s nice. I get like that on the ice sometimes. I can make the big hits and stuff and no one treats it like it’s different from being quiet outside the game,”
“Yeah, like a different person. That’s exactly it,” You met his eyes again. Holy shit, why is he so gorgeous?
“Y/N Y/L/N?” A head popped out from behind the conference room doors. “We’re ready for you,” 
“Great, thank you,” You turned back to Patty. “That’s, uh, that’s me, but I’ll hopefully see you around, Patty?” 
“I’d like that a lot. And uh, you can call me Nolan,” The blush came back to his cheeks but you could barely notice over the heat in your own cheeks. 
“Bye Nolan.” You gave him one last smile before entering the conference room and closing the door, slowing entering the room. Once you came into sight, the people around the table jumped up. 
“Ah! There they are! Our new Gritty!”
***
After that first encounter, you seemed to bump into Nolan more. Before work, sometimes after work. You would make casual conversation, both mumbling, but you just got each other. And it didn’t take too long for him to muster up the courage to ask you on a date. While you were slightly hesitant, he was quick to assure you that “I may have asked G to ask management if it’d be okay with our jobs and, uh, everything’s fine, so…?” which earned him a kiss on the cheek and a yes. 
The problem was your job. You loved being a mascot. Seriously, you did. You were hooked after that first varsity game you went to in college. The energy of the crowd, interacting with the players and fans, the anonymity. The anonymity was the issue. Behind the costume, no one knew it was shy ol’ you. You could do anything and no one would tell you that you were being too rowdy or obnoxious. No one expected anything out of you except fun. It was perfect. And being Philadelphia’s beloved mascot/political figure was the dream. Telling Nolan risked the anonymity of the job. But to not tell Nolan was becoming an issue. He understood you had to work during game days, but it was becoming increasingly difficult not to see you with the other better halves in the stands, especially since you worked here. There was no reason for you not to be there. Every other teammate of his got to see someone they loved in their jersey but he didn’t. 
When he brings this up, all timid, you are so quick to make a compromise. Before every home game, you’d meet in the tunnel for a good luck handshake. It might seem ridiculous but he got to physically see you before each game and it was a fun, quirky ritual. 
“It’s like a different person right? You get in your zone and I’ll get in mine,” You told him. He responded with a kiss. 
But you were running out of excuses why you were late either before your handshake or after his game, where you would also meet him in the tunnel. You had used the “I caught up with work” at least four times, “I saw a coworker who wanted to talk” a few times, and even resorted to “I got lost” once. You could see it was throwing him off a little. He was still playing perfectly fine, but it didn’t have that same “umph” he sometimes brought to the ice. 
It was the home game against the Penguins when he finally snapped. That’s how you knew it was bad. Gritty was asked to do the fun pre-show, and you hadn’t had time to change to see Nolan before the game. He threw more hits, had more aggression, and more than the normal Pennsylvania rivalry. You couldn’t help but think that part of it was because you didn’t show up before the game. He’d even gotten in a fight with Tanev early in the second period. 
So, during the intermission between the second and third, you asked your team to lead you down to the tunnel and grab Nolan out of the dressing room. The Flyers were up 3-0 so you didn’t think it’s be a huge issue with Coach. 
He quietly exited the room, confused on why he got pulled out. A member of your team just gestured to you in your costume, which did little to clear up his confusion. You held your hand up in a fist for a fist bump, the first move in your handshake. When he still gave that bewildered look, you softly grabbed his gloved hand and pushed it against yours. When you lifted your hand up for a high five, he still needed some prompting. But when the down low high five came, you started to see the gears in his head turning. He gave a small chuckle and slowly worked through your handshake, ending with a pinky promise and a kiss to your respective thumbs. When you’ve finished, he just gives you that small side smile and shakes his head, with a chuckle. 
You can hear the boys getting hyped up in the dressing room, and then the buzzer goes, so you break away from Nolan, but stay in the tunnel. As the boys single-file pass you, you give them each a boop on the head, with some extra love given to Nolan. 
That third period, Nolan seems to have his “umph” back. An assist and a goal, and he celebrated both by glancing up to you, celebrating as per usual with the fans, especially after his goal. 
After the game, you go and have your own shower, all sweaty after the 5-0 Pennsylvania battle. You took your time, knowing you’d have to have a semi-serious conversation with Nolan. But when you join him in the tunnel, he’s all smiles. He wraps you in a hug, spinning you around, before setting you on the ground and nuzzling into your neck. You run your fingers through his own freshly washed hair. The two of you stand there for a bit before he mumbles into your neck, barely audible. 
“Like another person, eh?” You smiled and tucked your head into his chest. 
“Oh shut up, I don’t even know if you’re allowed to know.” A hearty laugh escaped him.
“Secret’s safe with me, babe,” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and kissed the top of your head as you started to make your way out of the arena. “Fuckin’ Gritty, I can’t believe it. I thought you were ignoring me,”
“I’m sorry, Nols. It’s just a lot to take in. Didn’t want to scare you off,”
“Well, I’m sticking around if that’s alright with you.” You looked up at him, and his cheeks started to redden, and not just from the game.
“Yeah. That’s alright with me,” You leaned into the crook of his shoulder, glad you didn’t have to hide any part of yourself from Nolan anymore. 
Bonus: “Did you ever actually punch a kid?”
“Oh my gosh, I’m not answering that,”
“It’s a valid question babe! I’m not going to stop you, I just wanna know,”
feel free to let me know what you think! thanks for reading
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smaidjor · 3 years ago
Text
i know they're losing (chapter 3)
Hello everyone! Welcome back to your favorite(/j) hot mess of a fic. Sorry this chapter took a little longer to post, I thought I'd give you all a bit of time to recover from that last one. Plus, I was working on Scott's POV of this (which will be posted soon, don't worry!) Anyways, enjoy the fic!
(Once again obligatory disclaimer this is characters not people, don't ship real people, etc.)
(Also a disclaimer that I am not a medical professional and any medicine portrayed in this fic is likely inaccurate. Do not follow any medical procedures used in this fic, as I did absolutely 0 research to confirm any of this.)
Chapter Title: I turn at last to paths that lead home
Chapter Wordcount: 3214
Content warnings: blood, canon-typical violence
AO3 Link
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Actual fic under the cut:
The next morning dawns bright, sunny, and with a looming sense of unease that Jimmy can’t seem to shake. Scott’s ring feels heavy on his finger despite the resolution they reached yesterday, and he shifts anxiously as he waits for his husband to wake up. The sun’s well over the horizon and Scott still isn’t up, which only makes him more anxious. Usually, Scott’s an early riser. Today, though, he’s sleeping like the dead, and the scar on his throat doesn’t help the effect. Something is wrong. Jimmy doesn’t know how or why he knows it, but something is wrong and why is Scott still sleeping?
Finally, Jimmy can’t take it any longer. “Scott? Scott, wake up,” he whispers.
Nothing.
“Scott! Wake up!”
His husband is still firmly unconscious, and Jimmy’s heart leaps into his throat as he begs one more time. “Scott? Please?”
Scott rolls over and blinks at him, thank god, his voice coming out thick with sleep. “Five more minutes, darling.”
“I think something’s wrong,” Jimmy urges. “It feels wrong. Really wrong.”
That gets his love to sit up, rubbing at his eyes. There are still dark circles visible under them, and Jimmy gets a rush of guilt for waking him. “What is it?”
“I don’t know. It’s alright, go back to sleep.”
“No, no, I trust your gut.” Scott gets out of bed with only a slight stumble, sliding on his cloak in one graceful movement. “Let’s go look, and if it’s nothing then I’ll sleep more, okay?”
Jimmy nods, hurrying after him. “I have a really terrible feeling, Scott. Be careful, please.”
“I should be telling that to you.”
“Hey, I’ve gotten more careful!”
Scott laughs, looking more alive than he has in months, but quickly sobers again as they reach the front door. “You’re right, Jimmy. Something isn’t right.”
“I know, it feels awful!”
“Mhm.” Scott snatches up a frankly ridiculous axe from nearby, a shimmering pink monstrosity that’s twice the size of Jimmy’s head. “Stay behind me, just in case.”
The door creaks as it swings open, and the source of Jimmy’s unease becomes immediately clear.
Across the valley is the demon, standing next to Scott’s enchanting tower.
“That’s the demon!” Jimmy hisses, once he gets his racing heart under control. “Right there by the tower!”
Scott looks like someone just killed a cat in front of him, an odd sort of heartbreak flashing across his face before it’s replaced with determination. “That?”
“Yes!”
“Right. Okay. Jimmy, I need you to listen to exactly what I say right now. If I say get down, you get down. If I say run, you run and don’t look back no matter what you hear. Can you do that?”
Jimmy looks at the elf who very nearly broke his heart, and chooses to put that heart right back in Scott’s hands. “I trust you. If you say run, I’ll run.”
“Alright. Give me your engagement ring.”
“Wh-”
“Trust me. Please.”
Jimmy hands it over.
Scott slides it onto his finger. His hands are a little smaller than Jimmy’s, and it only fits on his right middle finger. Which would normally be cute, but right now Jimmy is just terrified. “Okay, Jimmy. I’m about to go out the front door, and when I do, I need you to go out the side door over there and run for the stables. When you get there, roll in the mud and then run for the village. Speed over stealth, corrupted elves track by smell and sound rather than sight.”
Jimmy nods.
“From there,” Scott continues, “I need you to track down an elf called Gilnar and tell them to lock down the kingdom and warn everyone of the danger. I also need you to tell them that Lord Smajor orders them to protect you.”
“What about you? Will you be okay?”
“I will, I promise.”
Jimmy knows Scott’s lying because Scott could never properly lie, not when it’s to Jimmy. He always looks away, no matter how steady his voice stays. Jimmy says nothing about it, but he grabs a spare sword and prays he’ll be quick enough to save Scott if it all goes downhill.
Scott hefts the axe. “Ready?”
Jimmy isn’t, but he nods. “Ready.”
Scott steps out the door, calling out something in some elven language that sounds like a challenge. At the same time, Jimmy bolts out the side door, sprinting for a low building which he thinks is the barn.
Somehow, he gets there without incident, and he throws himself into the mud without hesitation. The farrier gives him a deeply weird look, which Jimmy ignores in favor of sprinting for the village. The altitude means he’s out of breath by the time he gets there, hurrying inside the walls. The elves give him strange looks, a few seeming rather judgemental. Jimmy tries not to flush, remembering Scott’s instructions.
“Excuse me?” He asks the nearest elf. “I’m looking for uh, Gilnar?”
They stare him down, raising a single eyebrow. “For what reason?”
“Scott- Lord Smajor sent me.”
In the background, there’s a cry of pain, which thankfully sounds demonic rather than elven.
“Gilnar should be that way.”
“Thank you, uh, gentleperson!” Jimmy hurries that way, stopping another villager. “Are you Gilnar?”
The look he gets is even stranger. “Do I look like a captain of the guard to you? No. What do you want Gilnar for anyways?”
“Scott told me to find them.”
“Then that’s them over there,” the elf tells him, pointing out an incredibly short elf with neatly plaited brown hair.
“Thank you!”
Gilnar looks up at his approach, seemingly unbothered by the mud. “Lord Codfather, right? Scott sent ya?”
“He said to tell you to lock down the kingdom,” Jimmy reports faithfully. “He also said you should protect me, or something like that, but I don’t really need- I’ll be fine is the point.”
“Riiiiight. Calros!”
A tall elf appears behind them.
“Protect the codfather, Lord Scott’d be a bit put out if he died, I think. Alqualoth!” Another elf appears. “I need you to help me get everythin’ locked down.” With that, Gilnar hurries away, a few elves falling into formation behind them.
“So….this is awkward,” Calros, the tall elf, offers.
Jimmy ignores them in favor of running to the edge of the cliff the village is built on, trying to catch a glimpse of Scott. He’s rewarded only with the sight of his husband dueling a demon, which isn’t exactly what anyone wants to see at 8 o’clock in the morning. At least Scott doesn’t seem to be entirely overwhelmed, but the demon has far too much of the upper hand for Jimmy’s comfort.
“Whoa, whoa, let a girl catch up,” Calros yelps. She doesn’t seem very dignified for an elf, but Jimmy’s not very dignified for a human, so he understands. “So, uh...how’s Codland?”
Unfortunately for Calros and her well-meaning questions, at that moment, Scott starts screaming. It takes a moment for Jimmy to even register the sound as Scott’s voice; he’s never heard Scott scream before. It’s a high, broken noise, pure pain in every note as the demon pins Scott to the mountainside. Jimmy doesn’t think there’s anything he wouldn’t give to never have to hear that noise again, which is why he jumps the wall at the edge of the village.
“No, wait!” Calros yells.
Jimmy’s already gone, landing awkwardly on the other side. He hardly feels the pain of what’s surely a twisted ankle, sprinting for the scene of the fight. The sword flies into his hand, the gleam of enchantment shimmering bright. He doesn’t have a single second to think about what he’s doing as he opens his mouth to shout. “Hey, demon thing! Yeah, you! You’re ugly! And you probably smell bad!”
The being turns its head in a way that’s far too human for Jimmy’s comfort, and thank god, Scott stops screaming. “What did you say to me?” It hisses.
Jimmy’s heart is beating in his throat, palms sweaty as he scrapes together the few remaining bits of his courage. “I said you’re ugly! And you suck! Leave my husband alone!”
The demon loosens their hold, rage twisting their smile into something even more terrifying, and Scott backhands them across the face, kicking his way free. Jimmy watches as he struggles to his feet, the ring gleaming on his hand.
Scott cries something in some elven tongue, and the demon hisses.
He calls out another word, a command, and the ring glows with a light of its own as the demon is forced back, inch by inch. Finally, it flies backwards and vanishes entirely.
Scott sinks to his knees, cradling the hand with the ring on it, and Jimmy breaks into a run again.
“Scott! Scott!”
His husband looks up at him with haunted eyes, face bruised and battered, a little blood trickling down his brow. His teeth are bared, just a little sharp, and there’s something desperate about the way he whispers Jimmy’s name, his voice hoarse from screaming.
Jimmy kneels by him quickly, looking for any major injuries. “What’s wrong? Where- what’s hurt? I’ll fix it, I promise, I-” he’s cut off by Scott yanking him into a desperate hug, burying his face in Jimmy’s shoulder.
“Oh,” Jimmy says weakly. He wraps his arms around Scott in return, running a soothing hand up and down Scott’s back as he feels the elf tremble. “It’s alright, Scott, we’re alright.”
“Jimmy,” Scott says again. “Jimmy, I can’t.”
“I-”
“I want it to be over. I don’t want elves or nations or politics. I just want you.”
“I know, I know,” Jimmy soothes.
‘Why does it have to be me? It wasn’t supposed to be! It wasn’t supposed to be me!” Scott sounds almost angry, but the words quickly dissolve into incoherent sobs and fragments of sentences. “I- please- shouldn’t have- Jimmy. Jimmy.” He repeats Jimmy’s name over and over, hands clutching the fabric of Jimmy’s shirt, and Jimmy has never felt so helpless. All he can do is whisper empty comforts, kissing the top of Scott’s head and holding him close.
Elves have begun to surround them, varying looks of concern or disgust on their faces. Jimmy glares up at all of them, daring them to say something.
“Uh, milord?” Gilnar starts, and that’s the final straw.
“Give him a goddamn minute!” Jimmy snaps, rage bubbling up under his skin. “He just fought a demon for all of you, let the man rest! I know you’re all elves and you’re all- all elegant and composed or whatever, but you can’t expect someone to be perfect! We’re all human, you know!”
One of the elves gives him a look of disdain. “You are human, Codfather. We are not. Lord Smajor knew the responsibilities and difficulties of ruling.”
“He’s too young for this,” Jimmy thinks he hears someone mutter, but he’s too angry to bother paying attention.
“I- well I don’t think anyone could have expected a demon! And probably even less people’d be willing to fight one! Scott’s one of the bravest, kindest, smartest people I know, so lay off him, will you?”
“You know nothing of the affairs of elves,” the same elf sniffs.
Jimmy’s about to open his mouth and inform them that he knows about the affairs of being a decent person, for goodness sake, but he’s cut off by Scott raising his head, his sobs subsiding into ragged breathing. “It’s fine, Jimmy. They are correct, I do have responsibilities.”
“They can’t expect you to be perfect,” Jimmy argues, but there’s no dissuading Scott as he staggers to his feet.
“Gilnar, get the village out of lockdown and make sure people are aware of the threat of Xornoth. Celebear, search the library for any books on corruption of elves, and Lauriel, translate any you find that are not Sindarin into it. Elder council, I need research done on any rings of power that are strong enough to counteract Vilya to that degree, that will narrow down what Xornoth has. Now, the Codfather and I need to negotiate wool and fish trades,” Scott adds, grabbing Jimmy’s hand. Jimmy yelps, startled, as Scott drags him off with inhuman strength.
They make it up the hill and into Scott’s house before Scott slumps, collapsing into one of the kitchen chairs. “Well, fuck me to the End and back,” he groans.
“Are they always like that?” Jimmy asks, worried.
“Pretty much. Gilnar’s okay, just tough as shit, and so are Celebear and Lauriel, but...I wasn’t- well, I wasn’t meant to inherit Rivendell, and the Council of Elders takes every opportunity to remind me of that fact.”
“Oh. Who’s Xornoth?”
Scott laughs, a bitter, exhausted sound. “My twin, also known as the demon that’s been terrorizing you.”
At first, Jimmy thinks he’s misheard. “What?”
“My twin. My older sibling. The person who was supposed to inherit the throne of the elves.”
“What?”
Scott sighs. “Let me start from the beginning. My parents were two elven monarchs, one of the Sindar, and one of the Noldor. With other bloodlines mixed in, but the Sindar and Noldor is the important bit since those two groups haven’t always gotten along. Somewhere around fifty-five years ago, they started trying for kids. What they didn’t expect was that Xornoth and I are identical twins, only the fifth set of elven twins ever recorded.”
“Whoa.”
“Mhm. Xornoth was- is- technically the older one, who was always set to inherit the throne of the elves and unite our divided people. They were compared to Elrond, wise and powerful leader of another land named Rivendell far in the past, and I was Elros, his twin. Impulsive, snarky, human.” Scott closes his eyes, looking as if it pains him to talk about this. “Our parents died when we were both quite young, and we were brought up expecting Xornoth to take the throne as soon as they came of age. I spent my time hanging out with mortals, instead, getting involved in things like mcc and 3rd life.”
“Ohhh,” Jimmy says intelligently.
Scott nods tensely. “When I was the elven equivalent of seventeen or so, Xornoth gave me a ring. This ring, specifically,” he says, tapping Jimmy’s engagement ring. “Vilya, an elven ring of power. They told me to leave Rivendell and not return.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t know at the time, but they were being corrupted by a ring of their own, not to mention their own desire for power.” Scott’s voice shakes a little, and Jimmy takes his hand in comfort. “I returned after coming of age while away to find that Xornoth had fled and I was now the heir of Rivendell. Which absolutely no one wanted.”
“Why not? You’re amazing!” Jimmy protests.
“Remember when I told you that I’m not a very elven elf? That. I’m too human for their tastes, spend too much of my time with humans.”
“Well, I think you’re wonderful.”
Scott squeezes his hand tight, a faint, fond smile creeping onto his face. “Thank you, Jimmy. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Jimmy replies, and then something Scott said catches up with him. “Wait. Scott?”
“Yes, darling?”
“Did you give me an elven ring of power for an engagement ring?”
“….Maybe.”
Jimmy’s torn between laughter and outrage. “Me! You gave me, little old Jimmy Solidarity, an elven ring of power?”
“You’re the most precious thing in my life. I gave you everything I could offer.”
Jimmy flushes immediately, feeling his cheeks heat with the compliment. It’s not fair that Scott can make him lose all his remaining braincells with just a simple sentence, it really isn’t! “Stop that!”
“Stop what?” Scott asks innocently.
“Saying that stuff and giving me that look, you know what I mean! That soft one that- that makes me all blushy and stuttery!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He’s smirking. He definitely knows exactly what he’s doing, and Jimmy would hate him for it if he was even capable of hating Scott.
“I’m trying to scold you for giving me a ring of power that’s super important, stop- stop flirting, for goodness sake!”
“You’re hot when you’re flustered, though.” The charming words would be a lot more effective if Scott didn’t also choose that moment to try and wipe the blood off his forehead, only succeeding in smearing blood everywhere and reminding Jimmy to be worried about him.
“Let me get that,” Jimmy offers, looking around for a rag. Scott patiently lets him fuss, and Jimmy dabs at the cut with a wet rag and bandages it carefully. He moves on to cleaning out smaller cuts and scrapes, then the bruises, handing Scott some ice to put on the largest ones. Even then, he’s not fully satisfied until he makes Scott count backward from 100 to prove he hasn’t hit his head too hard.
“Ninety-two, ninety-one, I swear I’m fine, Jimmy, ninety, eighty-nine, eighty-eight, eighty-seven, I literally explained elven rings of power to you, eighty-six, eight-five, can I stop counting now?”
“No.”
“Jimmyyyyyyyy,” Scott whines.
“Just a bit more? For me?” It’s a dirty trick, but Jimmy gives him the puppy dog eyes that he knows Scott can’t say no to.
He’s rewarded with a long-suffering sigh and “Fine. Eighty-four, eighty-three, eighty-two…”
Jimmy makes him count all the way down to seventy and then multiply together thirteen and twelve before he’s satisfied, ignoring Scott’s complaining about having to do math so early in the morning.
“I can’t believe my own husband made me do math.”
Jimmy laughs and bops him on the nose. “I’ll make breakfast to make up for it?”
“You better!” Scott says, but he’s smiling too.
Jimmy makes them both pancakes, firmly ignoring the lingering fear from the demon attack, not to mention all the revelations from this morning. Those are problems for future Jimmy. Present Jimmy is going to scold his husband for sneaking bits of pancake batter (“It doesn’t even taste good, Scott!”) and drink hot chocolate in a beautiful little kitchen with the love of his life. None of that demon nonsense, no thank you. Just hot chocolate and pancakes and the sound of Scott’s laughter as he teases Jimmy about smelling like fish. Which is a perfectly fine smell, thank you very much, Scott, why are you laughing?
Every so often, he pauses and admires the bracelet that’s still on his wrist, running his fingers over the elegantly shaped flowers. This must have taken Scott so long to make, and he did it all for Jimmy. He gave Jimmy a ring of power, for goodness sake! Jimmy doesn’t think he’ll ever be over the thrill of how it feels to be so loved and to know it, too. To know Scott loved him back in 3rd life and loves him now and will love him for the rest of Jimmy’s mortal lifespan and beyond. He can’t quite wrap his head around it, honestly, but it’s not a bad thing, not at all. How could having Scott in his life ever be a bad thing? He thinks- knows, as well as he knows his own self- that whatever happens next, he and Scott can face it together.
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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago
Note
hello! i hope you have a happy holidays!! just a question: do you know any good crossover fics? :0 thanks so much! 🥰
Hi Nonny!! 
Thank you! My holiday season was great <3 Sorry for the delay on the reply, but your ask was a great one because I’ve wanted to do an update list to my “movies and books” list, so I’m updating it to just “crossovers” because I have more to add and that makes me happy!! 
This list ended up getting split across two asks, so for this one, this list is all my bookmarked fics. A part 1.5 with my MFL’s is coming shortly with another ask, and I ask y’all hold off to add your own suggestions to that list instead, please :) Thank you!
CROSSOVERS and FUSIONS (Feb 2021) Pt. 1
See Also:
Fairy Tales and Fantasy
TV, Movies, and Books AU (Fantasy Pt. 2)
Wonderful Life AU
Sherlock / Hannibal Crossovers?
Science Fiction / Fantasy
Faes / Faeries
Disney-esque Fics
Moulin Rouge AU
Crossovers & Fusions Pt.1.5 [MFLs]
It's After That Hurts by jonnyluvssherlock (T, 2,791 w., 1 Ch. || City of Angels AU || Fantasy, Fallen Angel Sherlock, Soldier John, Pining Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Permanently Incomplete Fic) – Sherlock's an angel stuck as a guardian to danger addict John Watson. Everything is fine until he gets too involved. Now he has to make the choice, eternity alone or one life time with a man who may or may not love him.
Caffeine and Adaptive Programming by DemonicSymphony (E, 5,540 w., 1 Ch. || Androids AU / Bond Fusion || Android Sherlock, Coffee Shop AU, Pining John Hinted Bond / Q, Toplock) – Sherlock is a coffee shop android slowly falling for a regular customer. But he's not supposed to be able to feel emotions.
Captain John Watson, Genetics, and Other Crazy Things by cyerus (M, 5,581 w., 1 Ch. || Torchwood Crossover ||  Humour / Crack, Jealous Sherlock, Sexual Magnet John, Captain John, UST / RST, Three Continents Watson) – The explanation for John "Three Continents" Watson? Jack Harkness is his father. Sherlock doesn't know whether he's going to die from jealousy or sexual frustration first.
The Frost Child by twistedthicket1 (M, 9,994 w., 2 Ch. || Frozen-ish AU || Magical Realism, Christmas, Angst, Fluff, Powerful John) – In a world where people are born with a Gift of varying levels, simple John Watson is the last person one might look at when thinking of any strong Magick capabilities. Hiding comfortably in the shadow of Sherlock's brilliant deducing abilities, John is content to keep it that way...
London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.
Equilibrium by augustbird (M, 12,351 w., 1 Ch. || Flowers for Algernon Fusion || Jealous then Worried Sherlock, Sick John) – At Baskerville, John is infected by a virus that turns him into a genius. But when the infection progresses into neurodegeneration, it's a race against time to save himself.
The Nutcracker by Odamaki (T, 13,758 w., 7 Ch. || Nutcracker AU ||  Christmas, Dark Magic, Dolls) – Sherlock is unimpressed with Uncle Rudy's present. A doll? What does he want with a doll?
Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.
Uncharted Territory by J_Baillier (T, 19,603 w., 4 Ch. || Dystopian Future / Black Mirror AU || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Drama, Homophobia, Bisexuality, Technology, Humour, Romance, Near Future, Happy Ending) – The System puts people through a series of assigned relationships in order to determine who their Perfect Match is. John believes that it works; Sherlock really, really doesn't. One of them is probably going to be wrong.
Once Upon a Beast Becoming by antietamfalls (T, 24,042 w., 6 Ch. || Beauty and the Beast AU || Magical Realism, Folklore, Celtic Mythology) – An act of pride, a druid’s curse, an enchanted leaf; Sherlock’s torment has lasted an age. Hope arrives in the form of one John Watson, a man uniquely suited to break the spell. But with a single night to win his affections, Sherlock finds his carefully laid plans disrupted by a monstrous killer whose sights are set on the only thing he has left to lose: John.
Classified(s) by blueink3 (E, 36,153 w., 4 Ch. || Wedding Date AU || Fake Relationship, Jealous, PIning, H/C, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, Mary is not Nice, Escort Service) – Clara's American father is the ambassador to some such territory that Great Britain probably used to own, but she (and Harry’s undying love for her) is the reason John is getting on a flight at 12:30pm, flying across the second largest ocean in the world, and pretending to be in a perfectly happy, healthy relationship with an undoubtedly perfectly coiffed stranger. See, Clara is not only American (and wealthy to boot), she's also best friends with John’s ex-fiancée. Whom she's placed in the wedding party. As Maid of Honor. And John just happens to be Best Man. Bloody brilliant.
The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157 w., 4 Ch. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.
we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.
Malediction by MapleleafCameo (M, 36,680 w., 11 Ch. || Ladyhawke AU || Magical Realism, Romance, Curses, Eventual Happy Ending) – Cursed to a half-life, John and Sherlock must fight the forces of evil to be reunited once again.
Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.
The Curious Adventure of the Drs. Watson by ShinySherlock (M, 40,883 w., 14 Ch. || BBC & ACD Fusion || Victorianlock, Time Travel / Magical Realism, Friends to Lovers, Love and Kissing, Romance, Body Swap) – What if ACD Watson and BBC Watson switched places...  “Imposter!” Hands clenching the lapels of John’s coat, Holmes shoved him anew. “Yes!” John agreed, nodding, and then grimacing. “Sort of!”
The Soul Remembers by i_ship_an_armada (E, 43,636 w., 10 Ch. || Oblivion AU || Post-Apocalypse, Movie Fusion, Science Fiction, Action/Adventure, Angst, Dreams, Bittersweet Ending) – John Watson is the lone security repairman stationed on a desolate, nearly-ruined future Earth. His dreams are plagued by a tall, dark-haired man, and when his dreams meet reality, he will be forced to question everything he believes is the truth about his life.
Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.
Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”
floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w., 15 Ch. || Notting Hill AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.
Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe
This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w., 15 Ch. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief...
Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.
The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse
The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.
The Swan Triad Series by Pennin_Ink (T, 121,660 w. across 3 works || Swan Lake AU || Magical / Fairy Tale AU, Romance, Falling in Love, Pining, Psychological Torture, Transformation) – Sherlock and John grow up spending every summer together. Their mothers' attempts to play matchmaker only fuel their mutual resentment and scorn. But then, one summer.
Colors by Quesarasara (E, 140,537 w., 17 Ch. || Pleasantville-Inspired AU || Soulmates, Colour Bonds, Alternating POV, Angst, Fluff, Pining, Case Fic, Medical Procedures) – Everyone on earth is born with eyes that see in black, white, and an endless series of greys. When you meet your soulmate, you finally see the world in color. We're all searching for the person who brings color to our lives. John and Sherlock are no exception. Part 1 of The Colors 'Verse
Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w., 28 Ch. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn't have much choice. There's only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place
Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court. Part 1 of the Care And Companionship series
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bpdanakins · 4 years ago
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i just infodumped to my friends about bpd anakin and i have No Regrets snakjdkajfsk
anyway, doth thee have any more bpd anakin (or just anakin in general) headcanons becuase i am living for this
I am So Sorry this took so long, but hopefully the length makes up for it. Thank you so much for sending this to me bc BPD!Anakin is my entire life. I could talk about it all day, every day.
I’d like to thank @apple-grass-and-smiles for helping me organize my Thoughts on all of this, prompting me to focus on certain things and giving me feedback in general too. 
Okay, here goes:
Anakin fidgets!! I’m not even sure if this is a headcanon but if it is I will die on this hill. He can’t stay still for the life of him and doubly so when he’s anxious, nervous or Ready To Do Something Already. 
We know Anakin can’t hold eye contact to save his life when he’s upset or insecure, but I can also see him having issues with touch when he’s upset, unless it’s from certain people only (Padmé always gets a pass, for example).
Anakin’s quick to let some small stuff go, but larger things people do that hurt him (whether intentionally or not) aren’t really ever forgotten, and he just kind of takes that in and suppresses it, until random moments when it pops up, he remembers, and it just hurts like it’s happening all over again. The people around him often have no idea what fully sets him off, bc to them, his reaction now seems out of nowhere while his mind’s still stuck on this other thing.     - His reactions also seem sometimes like they’re Over The Top, but even just remembering past hurts can feel almost disabling at times. It’s worse when he ends up ruminating on it, because the hurt and feelings of betrayal just keep building up over and over until it almost blots everything else out.
When he’s happy or surrounded by those he loves, everyone kind of can feel it too, bc he’s just fuckoff powerful in the Force and esp other Force sensitives kind of gather around his space and just… his affection and excitement are literally infectious. 
This probably runs closer to ADHD than BPD for sure, but get him talking about anything mechanical (robotics, engineering, racing, etc) and he will go from 0 to 100 so fast you’d get whiplash. No one minds though bc, as I said, his excitement is infectious and honestly those around him just adore listening to him go off even though half of it goes over their head.     - Ahsoka may not ever get Gotta Go Fast, but she definitely loves it when he really talks her ear off about all this stuff, bc it makes her excited to learn and she picks up on all of it easily. (There’s a part of her that wants to emulate him and she does def look up to him obviously.)     - We see it with Obi-Wan, but people love to use his love of all things mechanical as a way to distract him from things that upset him. It doesn’t always work but they try.
With Obi-Wan, he ends up on the side of Anakin’s splitting like, all the time. And unfortunately sometimes Obi-Wan can’t tell that Anakin’s lashing out not because of something Obi-Wan’s actually done, but bc Anakin’s young and Obi-Wan’s the figure he can project a lot of his frustrations on.     - It can lead Obi-Wan to being confused and hurt sometimes, bc he doesn’t always understand Anakin’s thought processes when this happens, and it definitely sometimes cuts him to the core. On the reverse side, though Anakin might not always say it to his face, Obi-Wan definitely can overhear him at times when Anakin’s ready to 1v1 anyone who even so much as makes a frowny face about Obi-Wan, which helps Obi-Wan remember that Anakin does love him too, actually.     - It ends up being one of the points of frisson between Anakin and Mace, bc Anakin can’t read body language perfectly, especially when it comes to feelings of abandonment or someone seemingly not loving who Anakin loves to the same degree. Mace has a drier sense of humor at times and defs has a more resting frowny face, and this rankles Anakin at times bc he can’t always tell when Mace is just chilling vs being disappointed, and while Anakin will take it all personally, he ALSO takes any perceived criticism to those he loves personally too.     - Both Mace and Obi-Wan don’t get this bc they have a perfectly fine relationship. Anakin’s just Like That.     - (And super overprotective of people’s perceptions of Obi-Wan. Anakin will go off about Obi-Wan being mean and all that, but fuck you and your entire family tree if you ever even think Obi-Wan’s anything short as the most amazing Jedi to ever Jedi.)
Everybody and their mother can see the pedestal Anakin puts Padmé on, and surprisingly she rarely is on the end of his splitting. When he does, he just internalizes it bc he can’t stand the idea that he’s somehow seen her in a wrong light, or he feels guilty for getting angry with her.     - He also defines a huge chunk of his life around loving her, making her his center for a lot of his decisions and reactions, so when they’re off, his whole world seems backwards. It makes him Really uncomfortable and unsure. He gets panicky and upset and often people have no idea what the cause is so they just end up a lil panicky in return.     - He tends to take it out on others, by doing an exercise or by disappearing to fiddle with something.     - Pads has an easier time recognizing Anakin’s emotional needs, bc in some ways they’re the same as hers. She’s good at reaching out to him, comforting him and reassuring him of her love. And in turn, he like, never fucking shuts up about how much he loves her, and those moments are what make her feel so special around him. Being loved by Anakin makes someone feel important and even get tingly, bubbly happy feelings, because it’s hard to doubt it sometimes.     - There’s a part of her that sometimes worries about how Intense he is, but, like I said, when his positive intense emotions are focused on you, it feels wonderful. And he’s genuinely super sweet and gentle, and she appreciates that, when she tells him to back off about something, he’ll listen to her wishes. (I’m using movie Anakin as my base here bc TCW!Anakin in this regard is just…. bad y’all lmao)
Anakin’s anxious about Ahsoka All The Time. He’s afraid he’s a bad teacher, he’s afraid he’ll mess her up somehow, he’s afraid he’ll hurt her or she’ll get hurt, and that’s why he can’t stand the idea sometimes of her being on her own. It’s not a lack of trust in her abilities, but because he feels responsible for her, and that’s why he’s always ready to put himself between her and literally anything that could potentially hurt her. (Even if it’s not a physical threat.)     - There are times she finds this amusing and times this makes her angry, but mostly she is long suffering. There are times she appreciates it though, bc she’s still a kid and isn’t always sure which way is up, especially when in a war. Anakin is often a cornerstone for her, and though she’d literally NEVER admit it, his overprotectiveness can sometimes be a reassurance. She knows she can handle herself just fine, but when she has an inkling of doubt, she’ll remind herself that Anakin will be there, and then go and take care of the problem herself.     - She doesn’t always get his moments where he’s not always falling over himself to talk Obi-Wan up or go out of his way to sass at him. To her, they have a wonderful relationship and she rarely notices when Obi-Wan might say something that pokes at Anakin wrong, so she often just winds up ???? when Anakin is huffy or annoyed with her grandmaster.     - She sees Anakin’s anger issues a little more easily than others, and she worries about it but always brushes it off or downplays it, bc she always sees why he’s angry, and also always just assumes (like everyone else) that he can Handle It.     - Anakin’s recklessness and impulsivity are some of her favourite things about being his padawan. He’s literally never boring to be around, and Ahsoka needs that sort of excitement to sometimes push aside the knowledge that she’s literally in a warzone. Anakin’s also really good at doing this intentionally; he’s literally always worrying after her, and all he wants to do is take care of those he loves and make them happy, so sometimes he’ll be Extra just to get under her skin or distract her and honestly this is the basis of where their playful competitions always come from.
If Ahsoka is long suffering, Rex is doubly so. Sometimes it’s all he can do to keep up with Anakin and Ahsoka, but he appreciates Anakin “thinking outside the box”. He also appreciates knowing that Anakin is just as loyal to him and his men as he himself is (well… Anakin is until he isn’t lmao)     - Rex, like Pads, is really good at picking up Anakin’s moods and even trains of thought, so he’s always able to work around that, or even see where Anakin’s mind is going when coming up with a plan. They make a really good team bc while Anakin can jump from one idea to another without them seemingly correlated, Rex immediately follows Anakin’s leaps and they just end up in sync.     - That being said, Anakin can be really confusing at times. His moods are often so all over the place, that Rex generally has no idea what tf is going on. He deals with it by learning to be calm when Anakin’s unable to, and just ride out Anakin’s worst moods until they pass by, learning not to let it all phase him. Anakin lowkey hates it when he’s upset, but once the worst of it passes, he really appreciates that Rex will just… not press like Obi-Wan, or balances out the moments Anakin’s mind is so cluttered by instead just keeping a good focus on things.
Probably everyone’s most baffling symptom of Anakin’s is his paranoia. Obi-Wan kind of sees it the most, because Anakin is always testy with the Council and often feels put on the spot, dismissed and looked down upon. To everyone else, they don’t get where Anakin’s ideas come from, bc everything seems chill on their end. His fretting about others’ well-being is straightforward enough, but his instant panic-turned-anger shift when he receives any criticism (especially the perceived type) always gives people whiplash. It’s hard to keep up with, hard to see what it was that got to him so much, and hard to know how to help (particularly when they’re worried that trying to help him will feel like “taking sides”).     - Ahsoka takes Anakin’s POV of the Council pretty easily, at least when it comes to him. This is mostly bc she’s not there when there’s a meeting or tension around them, nor was she there when Anakin first arrived, so she just assumes they must genuinely often have issues with him too. She doesn’t see it to the extent Anakin does though, but she recognizes that sometimes he seems to blow things out of proportion when he’s upset, and figures it’ll just blow over once he’s calmed down.     - Pads, on the other hand, is always kind of aware of Anakin’s fears of losing her. He often not-so-subtly looks for reassurances that she loves him and won’t leave him, that she’s feeling alright or not angry/annoyed with him. She chalks it up to his trauma with his mother (and she’s partially right), so even when sometimes it gets on her nerves that he seems to doubt her so much, she tries to remind herself of that and let it go. 
Those closest to him can pick up that Anakin tends to see the negative in things, and is generally really hard on himself. They try to help out by giving praise where it’s due and just overall Being There, but it’s Rough to know they often don’t get through. (Palps, on the other hand, knows how to weaponize this.) 
The saddest part is that I don’t think anyone once thought Anakin was Seriously Ill, partly out of ignorance, partly bc they assumed it had to do with his age/upbringing, and partly bc, eventually, everyone was dealing with trauma and even if someone wanted to send Anakin back to the Temple to have a nap or something, they legit couldn’t bc there was a war going on and he also would never have tolerated it at that point in time.     - Obi-Wan’s the one who worries about all of this the most, because he’s always felt such a huge responsibility for Anakin and loves him a lot, he’s just never fully been able to understand how to get on the same wavelength as Anakin.     - Anakin, too, actually never fully figures out that there is something Going On. Everything’s always overwhelming him and even though he prefers doing things at 100mph, sometimes it seems like there is Too Much going on, and even during peace times it just felt like he couldn’t keep up with everything. He hates internal reflection but also can’t stop overthinking about everything, and so he just ruminates and goes in circles and often just ends up going nowhere when it comes to dealing with things. He tries his hardest all the time, he is ALWAYS trying, but doing stupid stunts, fighting droids, making robots and speeding everywhere all the time is truthfully only a bandaid.     - Being surrounded by those he adores and receiving affection from them/seeing them happy boosts his mood a lot but he doesn’t have enough self-awareness to guess at why his happier moods just won’t last.     - Sometimes he can figure out when he’s being irrational and then just takes it out on himself, which only exacerbates his bad episodes. 
Palpatine doesn’t help. He’s abusive, manipulates Anakin all the time and is the Worst and definitely makes everything Anakin is struggling with harder and I think we should all just punt him into a sun thank you this isn’t a headcanon I just want everyone to know how much I hate him
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Top 5 Dumbest Things in The Final Season
I’ve played TWDG a lot, and I can confidently say that The Final Season is my favorite installment, and I’d argue that it’s the best of the series in terms of visuals, controls, characters, and storyline... but that doesn’t mean it’s a perfect game by any means. In fact, there are a lot of issues and inconsistencies you could pick out within the story and the arcs of our characters.
But today I don’t wanna tackle the big problems. The issues on today’s list aren’t a big deal and won’t ruin the experience of the game-- they’re minor and just really, really dumb. They’re things that you probably wouldn’t even notice during your first or second playthrough of the game. Honestly, most of these probably could be easily explained with “shhhh, don’t think about it.” 
But I’m thinkin’ about them because they’re dumb. So, here's my Top 5 dumbest things in TFS. Do note that these Top 5′s are all in good fun, and they’re my opinion. Obviously. 
[also, most of the screenshots used here are from @pi-creates​-- if you haven’t checked out Pi’s blog, I highly recommend you do! :D]
5. Doors make no sense. 
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The doors in this game are dumb and make little sense. And you might be scoffing like, “Really? Doors?” and to that I say, “YES DOORS OKAY!”
If you’re like me, you like to look at everything in hopes of finding interesting details and maybe an easter egg. If you look at the all the doors after breaking out of the dorm in ep1, they all have different locks which... why? 
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Wait, shouldn’t Clem be able to open this one...? The lock is right there on the outside. 
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Why are they different? Also, why are the dorms lockable from the outside? Like, okay, I get it-- ya gotta lock up the troubled youth so that they don’t escape. Fine. Cool, I can accept that... except does this mean that someone had to go around and unlock all the dorms every morning before the apocalypse? What if you forgot a door and a handful got stuck in there for the day? What happens if you lock all these children in their rooms and a fire starts??
And don’t you look at me and try to be like “Pfft, there’s not gonna be a fire--” excuse me?? With Aasim hanging around, and Mitch for that matter, you’re gonna tell me that the odds of fire happening are 0%?
Well, y’know, fine. If there’s a fire, then the kids can just escape through the windows... oh wait--
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Weeeeeell fuck the troubled youth, I guess. 
But the dorm doors aren’t even the dumbest doors here-- no, no. That would be the god damn basement door that apparently locks from both sides because game’s gotta game and I guess Marlon has the key?? This dumb door makes no sense. 
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Again! I feel like this is a safety hazard?? Sure hope no one gets locked down there, otherwise, you’re fucked I guess?? because there’s no way to unlock or open it from the inside?? After Brody dies and Clem’s looking for a way out, you’d think that she should be able to just open the door at the top of the stairs now that she’s inside but nooooo-- game’s gotta game. 
Ugh, dumb doors!
4. Abel’s magic shotgun
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Did you guys know that Abel actually has a special shotgun? A magical shotgun, if you will?
It’s true, he does. He uses a shotgun that, when he fires it, the buckshot curves around to hit the target when the plot demands it.
It’s true! And it’s dumb!
I know this, because if you yell for Violet to shoot Lilly in ep2, Abel will throw AJ to the grab, pull the shotgun out of nowhere, and fire at both her and Louis.... but somehow--
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--only Louis manages to get hit.
Soooo.... I guess the buckshot swerves around and above Violet to ONLY hit Louis? Like, I know she ducks a bit but I still feel like something should’ve nicked her as well?? At least?? Like, are lesbians immune to shotguns and that’s why nothing hit Violet?? Am I only learning this now??
Not only that, but it only got Louis in the arm?? H-how??
But that’s not all!
After Louis and Violet flee the scene, Clementine and AJ are on the run with Lilly and Abel shooting BEHIND them... sooo...
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If Abel was behind them.... how is it that AJ’s shot in the FRONT of his stomach??
Like, I guess Abel could’ve been at an angle when he shot but they only ever show him behind them soo?? Do I just not know how shotguns work? Do they curve to hit people in their front rather than shooting straight forward?? Because what??
On top of that, how is AJ not dead?? I know, I know, protagonist powers and whatnot but?? the boy took a shotgun to the belly?? other characters have survived lesser things??
But y’know, the dumbest part about this is the fact that I can’t take Abel’s magic shotgun for myself after the Ericson crew capture him. I could’ve just finished off every delta member if the shots curve and travel to hit their targets.
Or maybe Abel’s the only one who can harness its power.
Either way, Abel’s dumb shotgun is dumb.
3.You can’t hug Louis and Violet during their romance routes. 
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Sigh.... Why?
Y’all know that I’m a clouis shipper, and now lemme tell you a fun story that isn’t actually that fun-- Do you remember when the trailer dropped for ep3? And we got some teaser screenshots, with one of them being a shot of Clementine and Louis hugging? Well, I was excited for a plethora of reasons, and that hug? 
I could not wait for this hug.
Then I got through my first run of ep3 and... no hug? Wait, no hug? Why not? I thought--
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Oh. Oh, it turns out... it turns out you can only hug Louis if you don’t romance him. 
Ummmm. Huh. Wha- why?? Do you know how dumb that is?? What dingus who worked on this episode forgot to implement the hug option for the romance route?? Rather, what dingus thought it was a good idea to only give the Louis romance two options outside of doing nothing-- Slap Louis, or kiss him?? Where’s my hug?? Why is Clementine not allowed to comfort her boyfriend with a hug when he’s clearly anxious about everything that’s about to go down?
Look, the smooch is great and all BUT it’s not what Louis needs in this moment, ya dingus. 
I’m sure if I asked Kent for answers about this, he’d do one of two things-- go into a long winded essay about how the lack of hug and slapping him totally makes sense within the context of Louis’ character arc and route because of this and that and this subtle detail here... or he’d give a shrug and say “I dunno, reasons??”
Ugh, okay, well maybe they let you have the choice in Violet’s romance route--
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...Why??
Again, if I choose to romance Violet, why am I not allowed to comfort my girlfriend with a hug before we do this rescue mission?? Sure, I can reassure her that I’m not going anywhere, which is definitely a better option for a love interest than, oh I don’t know, slapping. But the HUG!
They could’ve implemented the hug option into the romance routes but they didn’t and that’s incredibly dumb. 
2. Magic tree is magic. 
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Know what I don’t like? The dream theory. Y’know, the theory that the overly happy ending we got at the end of TFS was all just a dream in AJ’s head to cope with the devastation of the real ending-- the one where Clementine died.  
Now, I can already hear you scoffing at me once more like, “Dream theories are dumb, CJ.” and this time, I do agree with you. 
However, there’s actually some compelling evidence that could subtly point at this theory, such as the backward graffiti in the dorms that was present in Clementine’s nightmare, or the fact that Clementine is, y’know, alive despite being seconds away from death in the barn...
Oh, and then there’s this fucking magic tree. 
Oh, you know... the tree that magically grows in in ep4! The one with the tire swing! 
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Episode 3 vs Episode 4
This tree is dumb and makes no sense. What, did they just... plant a tree there? Did they push the tree up that was on the ground and use some magical wood glue to fix it?? Clementine said that Willy helped her with the tire swing so like... is Willy some sort of tree whisperer?? 
Or is this just further evidence of the dream theory where AJ’s lamenting the fact that Clementine never got to push him on the tire swing back at the train station and now she never will because she’s fucking dead??
I don’t wanna think about it. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what the devs would tell me-- “Shhhh... don’t think about it.” 
This tree is dumb! 
1. What even is the greenhouse??
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So.... the green house. It’s dumb. And inconsistent, both in the story and actual location of it. 
First of all, as you can see in the concept image above, it should be within the walls of Ericson, yeah? And if you’re like, “Well, it’s CONCEPT art so it might not be totally accurate CJ.” and I say, “Fair enough, let’s look that the actual in-game map the characters use then.”
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Look at that-- still within the walls of Ericson, though in a different location than the concept art. Make sense? Sooo....
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Where the hell is it?
Because it’s not within Ericson’s walls. No, no--
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It is WAAAAY the hell out here! You can see the bell tower in the distance so like... huh? Where are we?? This is a long as walk to the greenhouse! 
Oh, and if the weird inconsistent locations weren’t dumb enough, there are different conflicting stories surrounding it, as well! 
First, Marlon says that they had it functional with lots of vegetables, but then it became over grown so they don’t go out there anymore. Then, if you go fishing with Violet and Brody, Vi will tell you she worked in the greenhouse the day the twins were killed last year, which... doesn’t add up? Especially when we actually go there in ep2 and see that Ms. Martin died and became a walker inside, but she died a while ago?? 
Also, how did Ms. Martin get tied up like that? Did she get bit, barricade the doors-- wait, that doesn’t work because how did she barricade the science lab from the inside when there’s a shelf in front of the door?? In fact, shouldn’t the walkers that are inside be students that died?? 
“Sshhhh... don’t think about it.”
Ugh, nothing adds up about this greenhouse and that makes it the dumbest thing in TFS.
---
Honorable Mentions
AJ magically teleporting behind Marlon with the gun. Because plot.
The dumb padlock on the gate Louis/Violet/Tenn climb over in ep4 that they could’ve easily broken
Louis’ jacket that somehow holds Chairles
The padding on Violet’s boot that’s rendered useless because they put it on the leg she doesn’t use to kick walkers away
---
Those are my Top 5 dumbest things in TFS, do you agree or disagree? Do you have anything from this game that’s dumber than what I have listed? Let me know! 
Next week’s T5F Top 5 Characters in ANF Who Would’ve Made Better Love Interests Than Kate
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frogtanii · 4 years ago
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It’s wind anon!! Just very very soft rn. Got 5 hours of sleep and generally have been tired so expect less coherency than most of my other asks.
This might just be an entire thing of Akaashi brainrot. School stress has killed off any brain cells. I stare up at my ceiling and my head be empty.
Anyway—aaaaa it was even better than I imagined. Reactions! Akaashi being worried and anxious waaaa—I too be the anxious type. For me, it’s really hard for me to start doing things because I worry and think about them too much. It’s really easy to get yourself trapped in a cycle. I really liked how we saw Akaashi’s POV to this.
His thoughts towards Bokuto...I empathize a lot! Him being upset at their distanced relationship while remembering something they did together is just top tier content. However, I think Akaashi and I are a bit different. I’m the clingy type when it comes to people I really really like. Akaashi is...hm...respectful? He puts value in being polite, and with that comes a bit of distance and detachment. Not to say he can’t love people as much as anyone else—just that he would be more demure and quiet with his affection.
Anyway! Let’s continue. Akaashi signing the contract because of Bokuto, I am— awestruck. I simply cannot. I will gift Akaashi an owl plushie for when he’s anxious and wants to squeeze something soft. Call wind anon weak if one so wishes, this automatically ‘redeemed’ him in my eyes.
His care, selflessness, and adoration :0! Wind anon practically buzzing with beaming smiles.
And yes! The therapist talking about how the environment would/might be bad for him—though actually, it’s not that high energy? Or maybe it gets hogged energy when they are able to bounce off each other but so far there seem to be a significant amount of introverts. I’d imagine it would be more isolating if/considering they might not have the same passion of books as Akaashi does. Though it’s more helpful to be in familiar places when it comes to anxiety.
Meiko...I will figure out a way to launch a textbook at her face. I cannot believe the audacity. Just because he isn’t as “showy” as he others doesn’t mean he is boring. He’s perfectly fine the way he is and if it was me, I would be willing to listen to him talk about books anytime! So what if you personally find a book boring; I would definitely be enraptured by his passion when talking about it.
Next, the hug!!! Don’t have much to say besides I wish I could do that with my friends irl. If only they could’ve continued on forever...Bokuto being hurt when Akaashi stopped :0! I hope that they hug lots when it’s just themselves then, we wish for everyone of them to be happy and fulfilled so yes.
I’m legit falling asleep (so sorry) so I might have to end it here.
Wind anon would 10/10 lean on Akaashi and listen to him read-aloud, chances are him reading aloud helps with his anxiety. I can just imagine him reading until we fall asleep www. Us cuddled with a blanket over our graceless tangled limbs.
Wind anon will try to finish this act after she finally gets some sleep... but she does love fr0ggy very very much! Just also...needs the sleep...to function.
Do take care!!
hi wind nonnie!!!! i hope u get some sleep babes!!!! && now, after reading all of this hehe, i think i ship u and akaashi — i feel like u would be a very wholesome duo so kith kith <3<3 i love u too & i hope ur sleep is v sweet n sound muah <3
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gaylotusthatexists · 4 years ago
Text
missing
pairing: dukexiety
summary: Remus hasn’t heard from Virgil in a while and is beginning to worry.
trigger warnings: sympathetic remus, disturbing imagery, intrusive thoughts
word count: 696
a/n: day twenty three :0 today’s prompt was ‘won’t let go’ and. idk how i feel about this one b u t i hope y’all enjoy this ^^
ao3
Remus hadn't seen Virgil in a few weeks, and he was seriously beginning to worry. It wasn't unusual for Virgil to go completely off the grid, every now and then he'd need to take breaks from everything for his mental health, but usually he'd at least tell Remus what was going on, at least tell him that he would be unavailable for while. But he hadn't spoken to Remus since they last saw each other, never answering his phone and not even a single text.
Remus tried his best to stay calm about everything, tried his best to keep the nasty thoughts out. The thoughts of Virgil lying dead on the street, blood pouring out onto the pavement, no witnesses and no one finding the body. He knew that Virgil probably wasn't dead - he was the most cautious person that Remus knew, and if something had happened Remus imagined he would have heard about it. It was likely that Virgil was just staying at home, maybe he needed some time for himself.
Taking in a deep breath, Remus held up his phone to his ear again, staring at his wall as he waited for Virgil to pick up. An image flashed through his mind, of Virgil tied up and crying, unable to reach his phone, slowly wasting away. He blinked, trying to get that thought away. Virgil was fine. Eventually, Virgil would pick up and Remus would know that he was fine. Remus wasn't going to let go of this.
No answer. Remus threw his phone across the room, going to hug his knees and slowly rock back and forth, in an attempt to calm himself down. Remus remembered his last conversation with Virgil - he'd seemed pretty out of it, more anxious than usual, not really responding to anything that Remus had said. Had something happened that Virgil didn't tell him about? What- What if Virgil never came back?
No. No, he would, he had to.
Remus picked up his phone again, checking Virgil's social media for any sign of life. He hadn't posted anything anywhere since weeks before their last meeting. That wasn't really unusual either - again, going off the grid was pretty normal for him - but Remus wished he could find something, even just a little message so he knew that Virgil safe.
Another week passed, but still nothing. Remus had contacted all his friends and acquaintances to see if he'd heard anything from Virgil, but still nothing. He'd tried to contact Virgil's family to see what was wrong, but still nothing. He'd made posts, called Virgil every day, even considered contacting the police - the only reason he hadn't was because it wasn't really his place to do so, if he was well and truly missing his family would put something forward, surely.
Another week passed, and Remus finally received news. A single post on Virgil's tumblr, just a dot, a tiny bit of proof that he was still alive. Remus continued to call and message, beginning to think that maybe Virgil was avoiding him - no, he wasn't avoiding Remus, he wouldn't do that. Probably.
And finally, one day Virgil picked up.
"Virgil!" Remus exclaimed, letting out a sigh of relief. "Virgil, are you okay?"
Silence, for a long time, until Virgil quietly said, "Why do you keep calling me?"
Remus frowned. "I- I was worried," he said. "You completely disappeared."
"I thought... I thought you might have given up by now," Virgil said. "Everyone else has."
"Virgil, I'd never give up on you," Remus promised. "I wouldn't just let you go like that."
A long silence again. Remus could hear Virgil tapping his finger on the phone. "I'm sorry," he finally whispered.
"It's okay," Remus said. "I just... want to know if you're okay."
"I'm not," Virgil admitted.
"Do you... want to talk about it?"
Virgil hesitated. "No."
"Oh." That was fine - Virgil didn't exactly owe Remus an explanation.
"Can I see you?"
"Sure." Remus smiled. "You want me to come round?"
"Can... Can I come to yours?"
"Yeah, of course. I'll see you soon?"
"Yeah." Remus heard ruffling on the other side of the phone. "I'll be there soon." He hung up.
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anonymousbaev · 4 years ago
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i love ur writing style!! i was wondering if u could write how the rfa + v and saeran would react to mc coming out as bi? and like,,,shes kinda scared they might leave her or smth?
 RFA+V and Saeran reaction to mc coming out as bi
Thank you so much for the compliment, you boosted my confidence in writing it even got me inspired to write this for you! (〃^∇^)ノ Also this idea is amazing, I hope I wrote it similar to the way you wanted it! I started at 6 pm and just finished right now at 2:43 am yay! WOOHOO FIRST HEADCANON REQUEST COMPLETE! I also saw another request come in while working on this so I shall begin on that one sometime soon too! Please lmk if anything here is disrespectful in any way. ENOUGH TALKING, ENJOY!  ´ ▽ ` )ノ
                                              !!WARNING!! 
                      !!PROFANITY AND TRIGGERING SCENES!!
☆Yoosung☆
☆ You and Yoosung have been dating for a month now, you both told each other everything. At first you were scared to come out to him as being bi, but coming further and further into your relationship, you felt an urge to tell him. Being bi was something you were proud of. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel a bit scared he would leave you. You know he’s supportive and understanding, he’s not someone who would judge you. However, having a trauma of your parents kicking you out from a young age for being bi… It left an empty hole in your heart that had yet to be mended. Why couldn’t they love you for who you were? You were still their kid they’ve always known…
☆However, your parents were old news now. If they couldn’t be parents that supported you no matter what. You simply didn’t need them either. You knew Yoosung weren’t like them. And so, you gathered up your courage to come out to him one day. He was fairly surprised when you’d told him you had something to talk about. So, the two of you went out to a café on a Saturday morning to chat.
☆ “Mc!” Yoosung waves to you at the table he had been waiting for you. You nervously wave back at him as you make your way to the table. You sit down with a awkward smile, “I hope you weren’t busy today. I know I kind of called you kind of out of the blue.” He rests his head on his hand on the table with a grin as he replies, “No worries! Besides, even if I were busy, I would always make time for you!” 
☆ As always, he was being so sweet.  “Oh right! What did you want to talk about? You seemed anxious, is everything okay, Cutie?” You gulp so loud he probably can hear it. You just want to get this over with. Being bi was normal. Why did you have to be scared to say it? “I’ll get straight to the point, I just wanted you to know that I’m bi. I don’t want to keep my mouth shut on this anymore...but please don’t leave me. I love you.”
☆ He sits up straight as he holds your hand over the table. “Babe of course I won’t leave you, I’d be a hypocrite if I did. Nothing between us will change, in fact with another part of you revealed to me, I feel even closer with you!” You start to cry out happy tears as it gets him flustered knocking down his cup of ice tea all over the table. ⋋_⋌
☕️ Jaehee ☕️
☕️ Jaehee and you opened the café just like any other day. When you took out the freshly baked sweets, it immediately spread throughout the café and out the  widely opened doors. The fragrance attracted in so many customers. The café soon became absolutely full. As you were helping a young lady and her daughter with their order, a small family catches everyone’s attention at the shop. The man who looks to be the father of a teen begins to lecture him. It causes a ruckus and with Jaehee too busy to notice making drinks at the back, you excuse yourself and head to the small family. “Excuse me, is everything okay here?” 
☕️ You try your best to be as nice as possible before he begins to shout at you too. “YES. EVERYTHING IS FINE HERE. WE’RE TRYING TO HAVE A PRIVATE CONVERSTATION HERE, IF YOU DON’T MIND I WOULD APPREACIATE IT IF YOU LET US BE.” You sigh trying to keep your cool, but you notice all the other customers rushing to hurriedly pay and get out. “I’m sorry sir, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” He bangs his fists down on the table startling both his wife and son, but it startles you the most. “HOW DARE A LOWLY WAITER LIKE YOU TELL ME TO LEAVE. WHERE’S YOUR BOSS, HUH? BRING HIM HERE.” He spits at your face, you start to get so uncomfortable.
☕️ “Hello, I’m in charge here and I’m a she not a he. Also I would appreciate it if you would stop throwing reckless insults at my girlfriend.” Jaehee appears from the back. She must’ve heard all the commotion and came out to help you. She pushes him away from you, pissed. BAEHEE I LOVE YOU!
☕️ “GIRLFRIEND? WHATEVER THIS PLACE IS UNBELIEVABLE. WOMEN SHOULD DATE MEN AND MEN SHOULD DATE WOMEN. This is why youngsters these days need more lecturing tsk.” The man rushes out obviously intimated by Jaehee as his wife and son follow him out with an apologetic look to both you and Jaehee. Jaehee doesn’t hesitate to follow after him and give him a proper lecture but stops when she hears a small whimper before crouching down to meet your eyes. You sob so upset at the man’s cruel and untrue words. You know everything he’d said is not true AT ALL but can’t help but remember his words are similar from the words of your mother, it brings you to the floor.
☕️ “What’s wrong Mc? I know his words were harsh but you know none of that is true. Don’t cry because of an insect like him. ” you nod agreeing with her before taking a moment to get your words out, “I know...I know but he reminds me so much of my unsupportive parents when I came out as bi to them.”
☕️ “Oh Mc, don’t cry it’s going to be okay. There’s always going to be so much negativity in the world. Whatever it may be, and that’s not gonna change. Yet, you have to know you have me. And I have you. That’s all that matters.” You hug her and the people that have stayed in the café clap as the both of you have chased the bad man out. You see Jaehee blush for being in the center of attention.┏(^0^)┛┗(^0^) ┓
🎤 Zen 🎤
🎤 You and Zen cuddle on your shared bed. You begin to feel your eyes close in Zen’s warmth, and you eventually fall asleep to his pleasing lullaby. Your phone begins to ring and when Zen thinks it’d be better to let it be and tell you when you’re awake, he sees it’s your dad. He doesn’t know what to do, you never talk about your family. But he doesn’t want to worry your dad from you not picking up, so...he picks it up. 
🎤 “Hello, sir!” He’s super nervous to be talking with your dad for the first time. Your dad is super confused and asks, “Who is this? I thought I was calling my daughter?” Zen carefully lays your sleeping body comfortably on bed out of his arms to sit up at the edge of the bed, he clears his throat. “Yes, you are. I’m her boyfriend she said she told you about me?” Your dad begins to laugh almost... wickedly? “Oh that girl never tells me anything after her mother and I kicked her out of the house.” Zen is so shocked he’s at a loss of words you never mentioned this...
🎤 Zen continued to quietly listen to your father a little...pissed? Maybe you have horrible parents like he did. He starts to really regret picking up your phone, he should’ve asked you first. Regardless, it’s too late to regret it now and your dad continues to chatter on, “I’m glad to know she’s all fixed now. She’s dating an actual man. I was so aggravated when she came out to her mother and I to be bi.” Zen quietly heads to the living room and quickly scratches his head in anger, did your dad just say fix? 
🎤 “Excuse me but, if anything it looks like you need more fixing than anyone else. Also, Mc has not been “fixed”. She’d been perfect and she still is perfect in the same way. Dare I say, please don’t call Mc or even show your face anywhere near her if these are the things you tell her.” He ends the call and sees your head down, sitting down near the bedroom door as if you’d collapsed. He rushes over to you and gently holds your shoulder. “Jagiya are you okay? I’m sorry I picked up your call without-”
🎤 “It’s okay...it’s okay as long as you won’t leave me.” you shake your head in fear as Zen raises an eyebrow with a questioning look. “And why would I leave you?”
🎤 “Because I’ve kept it from you! That I’m bi and that I have bad parents. You told me everything, but I told you nothing. You’re probably feeling betrayed...but I really do trust you I really do love you! I was just scared... I know you are nothing like my parents. Ever since I met you, all you have given me was love and support! But it hurts...my dads words...they come back to me everyday and it makes me feel like I should keep it a secret...” He sighs before helping you stand back up on your feet. He fixes your messy hair and wipes away your tears with a gentle swipe.
🎤 “Baby, it’s okay. I know you would’ve eventually told me everything. Don’t feel guilty for not telling me. These are things you tell me when you want to tell me. You just needed time to heal from your parents. Just...overall...please know I love you no matter what. I’ll help you get over their words. I’ll show you what your parents told you were just thorns on a rose. Nothing more than a tragic obstacle from your happiness. Don’t be afraid of something that makes you, you because of the words of someone unsupportive. I know how it feels to have bad parents.” He pulls you into a hug, he feels so warm. You grasp onto his shirt and sob into his abs. You’re once again reminded of how much you love this man. ●ᴥ●
♛ Jumin ♛
♛ You’re attending an fancy business party with Jumin at an fancy hotel. You’re more than happy to attend this party with him. After all, you’d helped him plan for this project with your great creative mind. Not to mention, he loved showing you off.
♛ You and Jumin arrive in a limousine as he held your waist ignoring all the reporters into the front door of the hotel. You both stop at the entrance, four bodyguards around you as he lifts your chin up, you smile so lovingly he gulps before placing a kiss on your lips. “Are you ready, my love?” You nod as you snuggle against him as he holds your waist. All the bodyguards are supposed to guard the entrance so you both enter the main hall alone. 
♛ After a few boring conversations of a few businessmen trying to kiss up on Jumin’s ass you excuse yourself to the snack bar much to Jumin’s dismay. Regardless, he nods and you walk away. All these delicious fancy food! You swear you are about to drool. While you’re wondering on what to eat first, someone calls your name and it’s not Jumin’s voice. You feel your heart drop as you clutch your chest before turning around to see your bully in the old days.
♛ Tiffany, she was the “perfect rich girl” at school. And this girl loved making fun of others. You’ve picked on by Tiffany and her followers all four years through high school. All for one reason, you were open about being bi. She and her friends would always call you the ‘gay commoner’. This bish doesn’t even know the meaning of “bi” 
♛ Your heart begins to pound as if old memories come back at you like a gun shot. “Wait, hah you’re Mc, right? Wow... this place stoops as low to allow someone like you to come in? A gold digging commoner bitch that married Han Jumin. Oh right, and you’re gay. Be honest, you’re with Jumin because of his money right? You probably have sex with girls behind his back-” Tears swell in your eyes as you throw a slice of cake on her face. It drips down to her dress ‘made out of gold’. “ARE YOU CRAZY? OH MY GOSH, THIS DRESS IS WORTH MORE THAN YOUR LIFE!” cliché shit I’m sorry. Your voice shakes, seeing her brings back your painful memories so vividly. “I can’t believe you’re still so uneducated after all these years! I’m bi not gay! And I see you’re still as immature as ever, haven’t changed that habit of picking on innocent people, huh? Also, you know nothing about my relationship with Jumin! I love him and I don’t care that you and other people point fingers at me. I have not once thought about being with him for money!” You feel a painful sting on your cheek as you look up to see that she’s slapped you.
♛ You bite your lips and she holds her hand up for another slap before she’s stopped with someone’s strong hand. Jumin holds her wrist as he looks at your painful mark, looking back at Tiffany in anger. Oh boy he’s pissed. He had rushed over as soon as he heard your faint yells across the room. “Jumin it’s okay, can you take me somewhere quiet...please?” He nods as he holds your waist to a balcony. The stars outside make you feel so much better as you smile bitterly. “Why was she hurting you, my love? I will make her pay for leaving such a painful wound. Please wait here my love I will call an ambulance right now.” You giggle a little before gently grabbing his hand. “I’ll be okay, please don’t, who calls an ambulance for a slap!” you continue to giggle before collapsing into his embrace. “I used to go to high school with her, and she’d always made fun of me. Because...I’m attracted to both males and females.”
♛ He furrows an eyebrow, “And...why is that something to make fun of?” You shrug, “I don’t know, but I think there’s more to her story. Still, that doesn’t make it okay for her to make fun of me.” 
♛ “Of course it’s not. I cannot personally relate to being attracted to both genders, however I do know that’s not something to make fun of.” You look up to meet him in the eyes, “That’s all you have to say? I just came out to you as being bi.” He smiles as he kisses you, “I love you.” You laugh, Jumin is not a man with many words in situations like this. However you do know that this ‘I love you’ is not just a simple confession of love. It’s his way of telling you that he supports you and nothing will change between the two of you. The next day you find a bucket of flowers with a 10,000 lettered apology essay from Tiffany. You later also find out Jumin has stopped partnering with her fathers company. They eventually go bankrupt. (¬‿¬)
👓 Saeyoung 👓 
👓 You shake as you look around you, you’re in a empty white void and suddenly, your ex appears in front of your eyes. “You’re bi? What so have you been going off with other girls behind my back?” He slaps you, pushing you down onto the floor. He wraps his hands around your neck so painfully. Your heart could jump out of your chest right then and there. You try to scream out, but your voices don’t leave your mouth. You shake your head denying him, until you’re finally able to open your eyes screaming, “NO!” You gasp for breath, you look around in your shared bedroom with Saeyoung. “MC?” Saeyoung sits up to see you. He scans your body to make sure you’re safe, “What’s wrong baby?” 
👓 You shake your head, “I... had a nightmare.” he smiles, “Haha, you’re so cute still getting nightmares. What was it about? Elizabeth the 3rd turning into a monste- ZzZzZz...” He falls asleep again holding onto your waist as his body slides back down to lay. You wrap your arms around his head with a bitter smile before beginning to break down, you gently sob unknowingly. Saeyoung wakes up again, both of your eyes squinting as he turns the lamp on. You take a glance at the clock, it’s 3 am. You feel horrible for waking Sae up.
👓 He sits next to you, gently wiping away your tears. “You’re okay. If it makes you feel better we can talk before going back to bed. What did you have a nightmare about?” At first you’re hesitant, but knowing Sae, the sweetest purest sometimes perverted cinnamon roll you ever know, you felt safe to tell him. Before a warning you blurt it out, “I’m bi.” he smiles as he caresses' your cheeks before he says anything, you continue to talk, “I had a nightmare about my ex...he would beat me up and be so unsupportive of me.” You continue to cry harder painful memories coming back to you, more vividly now that you say it. 
👓 He brings you into his arms, “Thank you. Thank you for telling me, you’re so so brave. Do you know that?” He smiles nuzzling his nose to yours. “You’re okay now. And I support you. I love you so much too. I, Saeyoung Defender of Justice will protect you no matter what.” You cringe at his last line, the both of you giggle as you both nuzzle each other back to sleep. 
👓 BONUS: Saeyoung never tells you but he hacks into old camera files and sends your ex into jail for emotional and physical abuse. ( ಠ◡ಠ )
🌚 Saeran 🌚
🌚 You are eating dinner with Saeran until you finally come out to him as being bi, it feels as though a heavy anchor on you had been lifted. He pauses for a second looking up at you nodding, he quietly continues to eat his dinner. You feel so upset, that was it? A single nod? You spent days thinking of the right day to tell him this. It took a lot courage to come out to someone. The single nod he gave you continues to replay in your head.
🌚 Clearly upset, you hurriedly shove down your food Saeran constantly telling you that you will get sick if you continue. It didn’t matter, you just wanted to get out of here. 
🌚 A while later...you’re in bed with Saeran, everything is so quiet. But Saeran notices how upset you’re after the incident. He mutters a “sorry” and you can tell he genuinely means it but you can’t help but still feel a bit sassy, “For what?”
🌚 “Sorry for being indifferent when you came out to me. Thank you for doing that. I appreciate your bravery. But I don’t know how to react- how you want me to react. Of course I’ll be supportive of you...but the wrong words would rather  be disrespectful...so...sorry...I don’t know the right words to tell you. I’m not good at this kind of stuff.” You kiss him as you pull him onto the bed. “Thank you. That means so much. I’m sorry too, I got sensitive.”
🌚 The two of you fall asleep so secure and loved in each others embrace.
♧ Jihyun ♧
♧ It’s been a week since you’ve came out to Jihyun about being bi, he was unconditionally supportive and loving. One day, You and Jihyun decide to go to the mall as you insisted in buying him new clothes. He was so bad at dressing himself. Without realizing it Jihyun brought his glasses and cane, even when he could see now with his eye surgery.
♧ He smiles wholeheartedly when you continue to be amused by all the cool stuff at the mall. Someone suddenly comes from behind putting a hand on your shoulder that was between you and Jihyun. Jihyun elbows them in surprise before calmly apologizing, “Ah, I’m sorry.” the man looked to be in pain but he tried to act fine as he said “It’s fine.” His friend in the back whispered “Wow look at his cane, he’s blind.” they all began to laugh. 
♧ You were about to shout at them but after seeing Jihyun simply just raising an eyebrow you just cross your arms at them before attempting to walk away. “Hey hey, I’m not done yet. Aren’t you Mc?” He roughly pulls your wrist, it makes you unwantedly unlink arms with Jihyun. “Hey, you are! Remember me? You tried to date my girlfriend.” You shiver as you realize him. Your old classmate. You had confessed your interest to his girlfriend during your senior years, however you had no idea she had a boyfriend. It wasn’t your fault, you’d even apologized to him and her afterwards. He’d never forgot you though when he sweared that the reason for him breaking up with his girlfriend was because of you. 
♧ Your stomach turned, heart dropping, as his glares came in to you like stinging daggers. Jihyun hides you behind him as he nicely tells them, “It would be better not to make a commotion here.” The men mockingly copy his words in a idiotic tone. Your anger boils, but Jihyun is calm as always. “Mc you’ve gotten greedier, eh? Women weren’t enough, now you want both men and women?” Your heart drops, as the anger in you all shred into tears. However, you hold them back. Where had it all gone wrong? After all those painful years, you almost forgot it all after getting into Rika’s apartment and helping everyone recover from their painful past. You forgot you had a painful past of your own, one you’d never recovered from. One that still lingers somewhere in your heart till this day. You shake yourself back to reality when you notice Jihyun holding onto your hand. 
♧  Jihyun shoves the man away like a feather with his cane when he attempts to approach the two of you. Eventually the security guards come and separate them from the both of you. Jihyun embraces you in his warmth as he reminds you, “You know all those foolish things those men said are not true, darling.” His words are rather short that what you’d imagined him to say. However his words are comforting regardless.
♧ Later you find out Jumin, Jihyun, and Saeyoung have been working on something but you don’t quite know what...you brush it off. They’ve been working on ruining the life of those two rude ass men at the mall. (⌒o⌒)
The quality of my writing started to drop from Saeyoung I’m so sorry. I might come back to them and fix them later on...∑(゜Д゜;)
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shintorikhazumi · 4 years ago
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A Warm Diana Chapter 6: Overheating
A/N: Seriously writing a couple of my story updates in the hospital since I’m watching my dad who got admitted. There’s no internet in his room so I post upon arriving at home. Finally having Christmas break after hellish exams haha. Sorry this took so long. I’m having a bit of writer’s block, tbh. One of the reasons I stopped writing for so long was because I lost the USB flashdrive with all the prepped plots and chapters and all that. It really was a huge blow to motivation. I legit cried over it. I also lost so much progress on other stories so… since some chapters had planned out info already in their files. I’m really trying to figure out how to move this story towards the end point. At this stage, it’s just full of Akko and Diana awkwardly trying to figure out their new dynamic, now that their relationship is clearly changing. Haha, I’m struggling with the plot. Still, trying my best. Btw, my headcanon is that Diana in love = OOC Diana so apologies in advance xD Not Beta read because I don’t have a beta reader now. I’ve been reading and correcting by myself, but I usually miss a few typos or mistakes, so again, sorry ‘bout that. Anyway.
Happy Holidays!
Enjoy?
~Shintori Khazumi
 A Warm Diana Chapter 6: Overheating
Relationships require balance.
At times, they are as if you were riding a seesaw, or maybe just tipping scales. At other times, they feel like a tug-o-war, and sometimes it’s more of a shoving and pushing motion.
Regardless of how you adjust the weights, you will find that it takes two sides to pull off that balance.
You may find that perfect balance now, or it may come millions of troubleshooting sessions later. It is different for everyone, it varies from person to person.
Your search may be painfully awkward, or incredibly sweet; filled with unspeakable joy, or unspeakable heartbreak. Just know, so long as you try, you’ll eventually stumble upon that sweet spot of balance tailor made for two.
Just keep working it out.
You’ll discover it soon.
And once you have it, a new chapter begins.
~0~0~0~0~
If you were to ask Akko for a list of her favorite things, broom rides and Diana would most probably top that list. She often related one with the other. There was just something about the heat of Diana’s back as they flew across the cooling horizon as the sun set, dropping the day’s temperature a few degrees down. While flying was one of the most magical experiences for Akko, she would easily argue that Diana was just as- if not, even more- magical than any spell that she could think of really.
Diana herself was magic.
With how her streaked blonde hair sparkled as the rays of the retreating sun hit it at just the right angle. How her eyes glimmered with mirth as she chanced a glance at Akko sitting behind her, arms encircling her waist. How her lips twitched upwards into a slight smile as their eyes met, how her body was soft to the touch, slender and felt really nice to hold- Akko should stop her train of thought right there.
Clearing her throat along with her mind, Akko silently urged Diana’s gaze forward with her hand gently pushing Diana’s cheek facing her away; slightly worried about the prodigy not looking where she was driving.
It only took her a few seconds to jump right back into her mental worship of the girl sitting in front of her. It wasn’t just a physical magnificence that Diana exuded. Her talent was far above and beyond a normal person’s, heck- even a normal witch’s. Despite this, she had the dedication to keep striving for more, to whole-heartedly pour her heart and will into improving, not for her own sake solely, but for others as well. Her mind was as attractive as her heart. Clever lines, smooth conversations, powerful words; Akko could listen to Diana go off all day. This was something she would never have imagined she’d think some time ago, remembering all the times she felt annoyed as Diana chided her, wishing the heiress would shut up.
It truly surprised her how she could change. How Diana could change. How they could change each other. What a wonder. What kind of spell had been cast on her? If love was a spell so powerful, no wonder so many tried to obtain it.
And at this moment, Akko thought Diana wielded it the best, casting her magic on Akko, making the brunette yearn and long for her, daily feeling her affections grow as she could only see more reasons to be in love with the Cavendish heiress.
Everything about her was just… magical.
And though magic and reality sometimes clashed in so many people’s opinions, Diana managed to make those two things work in a wondrous complement. Just another one of her many abilities, Akko admired.
“Akko.”
Ah… another thing she loved. Diana’s voice; the way she called out her name, the way her lips formed each syllable, how her tone caressed it in such a tender way it made her heart melt-
“Akko?”
“Ah- I… I-I just love your voice!” Realizing what she had just blurted out, Akko clapped her hands over her mouth, face a charming shade of red as, once more during their little broom ride, blue met red.
Diana blinked at the surprising confession, before her expression melted into one of teasing amusement. “Is that so?” Clearly, she was pleased. “Why thank you, Akko. I find myself quite fond of your voice as well.”
With her companion rendered speechless and unable to hold further conversation, Diana laughed quietly, turning her attention back to her task of manning the small broom they were on.
The reason as to why they were both on this peaceful flight was Diana’s suggestion to further secure their escape from their definitely angered dorm mother.
Never in her life had Diana imagined that she would be one to run away from authority. More often than not, she was the authority being run away from. She was that chasing, chastising figure who preserved the peace and discipline of the Academy.
…She was also the girl who screamed about just how much of a mess she was, prompted by her feelings for a witch quite familiar with the other end of the chasing game.
And she was in awe at the fact that she did not mind this change of pace one bit.
Diana almost jumped as she felt Akko’s arms tighten their hold around her waist, a weight- presumably Akko’s head- finding it’s purchase on her back. Akko had pressed her ear to the area, indulging in the sounds of Diana’s heart that did her no favors in hiding her emotions, betraying the calm she tried to show. It made the smaller witch smile giddily. It was the pleasure of knowing that she was the cause of such reactions from someone as amazing as Diana that filled her own heart with paramount joy.
The flight remained rather uneventful. It was tranquil, and the gentle breezes were almost enough to lull Akko to sleep, combined with the soothing scent of Diana’s shampoo, and the steady thrum of her heartbeat that served as her lullaby.
Almost, because Akko’s ever brilliant and excitable, yet sometimes anxious and doubtful mind had other ideas.
Ideas that may or may not be good, but nevertheless may be an adventure.
This time it was good, though! Akko swore! …maybe. She would admit that the notion slightly unnerved her, but it just felt right to challenge some things.
So, she decided to voice her idea to her partner in crime, thinking this was a good opportunity as any- scratch that- this was the perfect opportunity for her idea. It was the perfect moment, and all the cogs of this operation were aligned to allow this moment.
“Hey, Diana?”
“Hmm?” Akko loved how the hum vibrated against her ear, it was a pleasant feeling.
“So, like… I was thinking…” Diana gave her another hum to let her know she still had her attention. “Since we’re like… out here and together and all, already. And I don’t really know when we’d get another chance to do it since you might be busy, and I might be busy, and I guess we both can get very busy-“
“Akko, just say it.” Diana laughed lightly, one hand patting over Akko’s pair that rested on her stomach. She heard a deep intake of air, before the words,
“Can I drive?”
“Pardon?”
“Oh, uh,” Akko was beginning to make exaggerated gestures that were causing their little vehicle to swerve, and Diana got a tad bit nervous. “Y-you see, like, maybe I could drive and you could, like, tutor my flying again, y’know? Since we’re already out and flying, maybe you could, um, guide me as I drove and stuffandmaybenotIguessitwouldbesaferforyoutodrive-“
“Akko! Calm down!” Diana laughed a little louder. “Calm down.” She repeated much softer; and Akko now noticed that they both were making a slow descent onto a rather large tree branch. “It’s fine. I like the productive idea.” Diana threw her a nonchalant smile as they dismounted, holding the broom out for Akko to take.
“Th-thanks.”
“Still, I don’t think I’d ever be too busy to allow myself to spend some time with you.” Diana stepped a bit closer, effectively cutting Akko’s breaths a little short. “I’ll always make time for you.” Her face was even closer than her body, and Akko swore they could kiss if she leaned just an inch more- “And besides, we already have our usual tutoring sessions. Couldn’t we do it then?” Diana asked. “Actually, don’t we already have flying sessions from time-to-time? Silly, Akko.”
With those words, Diana had pulled away, leaving a flustered Akko staring at her for a few seconds. She giggled a beautiful tune, taking one of Akko’s hands and pressing the broom’s handle against it, closing calloused fingers around the rod.
“Come now, we don’t want to be having this lesson in complete darkness, now do we? The sooner we get to it, the sooner we finish and get back to the dorms.” Diana was seriously enjoying this too much. “I heard the dinner menu will include some Asian cuisine, and I’m rather excited for it. I’m sure neither of us would dare miss it.”
In a slight daze, but with her partner’s words registering in her shaken mind, Akko nodded her agreement. Straddling the broom, she waited as Diana situated herself comfortably behind her, feeling the warmness of her palms that lightly rested on her shoulders. It felt awkward for Akko, if she were to be honest; it also worried her that Diana might not be safe or secure behind her unless she held on slightly, um, tighter somewhere that was easier to hold on to? Not that Diana couldn’t easily take care of herself, but Akko still had her misgivings. Despite these beliefs, it proved difficult for the smaller witch to voice her concerns so she decided she might as well just kick off and trust that Diana would be alright.
But as if Diana had read her mind, feeling the tense muscles beneath her hands, she transferred her hold, arms snaking their way around Akko’s slim waist, thumbs brushing on a toned stomach over the brunette’s clothes, applying a certain amount of pressure for a small ounce of fun to get Akko to lighten up.
-Or so Diana claimed.
At the action, Akko found herself making an odd sound between a yelp and a squeal that made Diana uncharacteristically grin devilishly. Whipping her head around to glare at the perpetrator, Akko felt the slightest bit annoyed at the guiltless heiress wearing an innocent expression, but with a playful glint in her eyes.
“I swear,” Akko began. “Try that again, and we’re both falling to the ground; and it’s not even going to be my fault this time.” After keeping her gaze on Diana for just a few seconds more to ensure the girl didn’t pull anything funny, Akko looked forward, taking deep breaths and trying to focus her mind, chanting the spell that would get them up and flying once more.
And up they went.
At least, they were supposed to.
Albeit at her proposal, Akko found her feet rooted firmly on the ground, the phrase, Tia Freyre, dying on her lips.
She found her gaze flickering between the view of the horizon and the very far ground, and her will wavered.
Maybe it wasn’t as good an idea as she originally assumed.
“Akko?” Diana’s soft voice called for her attention, and she could only respond with a whimper. Upon hearing that, Diana felt the slightest panic begin to plant itself in her mind. Something was suddenly wrong. “Are you alright?”
Akko tried opening her mouth that suddenly felt very dry. She felt nauseous all of a sudden, and her vision swam. She considered giving in to the call of the darkness, but then she remembered that Diana was still behind her, still waiting for a response.
And if anything happened to Akko while they were out here, she’d surely feel responsible. Not to mention, Akko would be causing her extra trouble, dragging her unconscious Japanese weight back to campus.
She’d rather not leave Diana with a memory of her being such a burden again.
But at the same time, she’d also prefer not being the one to cause Diana harm should she make a fatal mistake. Ah yes, there was that too. Such a timely reminder that made her shake in her standard Luna Nova boots. What if she messed up and hurt Diana? That scared her more than anything else could. And that wasn’t something unexpected, at all. The fact that she herself could accept that she was a walking disaster only deflated Akko’s ego, and fed her monsters, more.
“Akko?”
But Diana was still waiting. Waiting so kindly, so patiently. She was still reaching for Akko’s heart, doing her best to clear out the clouds, and tell the girl that it was all okay. That they’d be okay. That she could do it.
Maybe it wasn’t true. Or maybe it was.
Nevertheless.
Maybe Akko could fake it ‘til she made it then. If it was for Diana, she could.
“I’m good.” She finally replied. With a heavy sigh, she braced herself, croaking out a shaky, “Tia Freyre”, and they were off.
At first, the take-off had its wobbly movements, and this fed Akko’s anxieties and lack of confidence in her abilities in magic, especially in flying which she had struggled the most with while learning. Maybe she was too apprehensive, so on edge and overthinking every little thing, and every possible bad situation, untrusting that she could fly both of them safely on course. Her hands were beginning to sweat and slide along the broom’s handle quite easily as she tried to steer them in the right direction. But before her mind could fall back irredeemably deep into the negatives and impact her performance significantly, she felt a squeeze to her waist and a nuzzle to her shoulder, yanking her out of the sinking sand that was her thoughts.
Fingers lightly walked their way to her shoulders, massaging the stiff muscles till the knots came slightly undone. Circular patterns were soon drawn on them, and it was as though she was being told, ‘It’s alright. Breathe. I believe in you, that you can do it’.
Still in doubt, Akko squeezed the wooden handle, eyes trying to remain trained to the scene in front of her. A tremor ran through her body as she coughed awkwardly, trying to trust in those words as Diana trusted in her.
Just then, she felt a hand placed on the center of her back, aligned with where her heart was, and she immediately understood.
‘I believe in your believing heart.’
Again, those words. They rung deep within her, gathering in a pool of hope and springing out into a fountain that allowed her actions to be filled with confidence and faith. If not faith in herself, then faith in Diana who believed in her.
Akko felt it blossom, the confidence she needed to try; to persevere. And it was all thanks to her companion. Her beautiful, all sorts of wonderful companion who knew Akko; who understood her.
Diana had spoken nothing, and yet she had successfully conveyed every word Akko needed to hear at the moment.
Readjusting her grip on the broom, Akko breathed in and out deeply, eyes closing momentarily, before revealing determined reds. No need for extra pressure on herself. She knew she had practiced; she knew she had studied. Diana knew that too. She had been with Akko every step of the way, and now it was time to see their sessions’ payoff.
As they ascended to a decent height, motions stabilizing, winds calm, with Akko only feeling the minimum magical usage drain from her body, she couldn’t help but be proud of herself. Her eyes widened as she felt the energy course through her veins, her body and the broom obeying her commands with relative ease. Realization hit her; she could personally tell that she had improved from her earlier days in Luna Nova, and she felt excitement bubble up within her, channeling into tiny bursts of happy laughter.
“Diana!” Akko exclaimed, daringly taking them into an upside-down loop in the air, speeding up at times, and slowing down smoothly with little struggle. “Diana, I can fly!”, she declared, going for a sudden drop before rising back high in the air. “I can fly!”. They zipped past trees and fields, headed down over a small pond where their feet barely grazed the water before Akko pulled upwards, spiraling into the sky gently.
“I can fly!” Akko repeated, again and again; each time serving as a reassurance, a confirmation of a truth she had longed for. “I can fly!”, she said as they traversed the Luna Nova skies, aiming for the setting sun.
“I can fly.” Akko’s proclamations were growing softer, yet more filled with emotion. Diana could have sworn she heard Akko choke up this time. Leaning to her side and over Akko’s shoulder to try to catch a glimpse of the brunette’s face, Diana’s conjecture had been confirmed.
She made it just in time to see a solitary tear escape the most gorgeous rubies Diana’s ever seen.
“I can fly… Diana. I can fly.” She spoke in a silent whisper, that last echo of joy.
And those words and the sparks in Akko’s eyes filled Diana’s heart with so much adoration, so much pride. She was genuinely happy for Akko. She knew for a fact that flying was one of Akko’s biggest dreams.
And witnessing the girl’s dreams come true firsthand, was Diana’s dream come true.
As they soared, twirled, giggled, and boisterously hollered their merriment, emotions only heightened- as high as the altitudes they so freely conquered.
And Diana slipped.
Overcome with all these intense emotions, senses filled with the sights of the world, and the scents of nature and of Akko, ears receiving the songs of the wind and Akko’s laughter; skin feeling the rushing cool, and Akko’s body pressed against her, and Akko filling her immediate visage, brown tresses and all; and Akko… and Akko, and Akko, Akko-
Diana kissed the back of her neck.
She’d lost control, and jumped on her impulses.
She’d lost control… and so did Akko.
With a loud yelp serving as the sole warning, the sound transformed into piercing screeches and wails as Akko shot out bullets of, “what do I do”s, while Diana tried her best to yell back the answers that fell on ears that could not focus on her voice at all, they spiraled down, and they spiraled down fast.
There was no time, Diana realized.
The ground was ready to catch them, and it was meeting up with them sooner than they’d like. Neither of those facts were very appealing.
What could she do, what could she do; what could she do- if only time would wait for them-!
“!!!” Diana’s memory and experienced served her well as she regained her calm and senses, a spell she had used before making its way to the forefront of her mind as she chanted a resounding, “Scrylla!” And immediately, time slowed down for them. This gave her the opportunity to shake Akko out of her panic, all but yelling at her to pull up immediately.
And Akko did.
~0~0~0~0~
After a few slow laps in the air to allow the shock to fade from their very bones, Akko guided them in an even slower descent until their feet were, once more, flat on the ground.
Moments of silence passed, both girls too frazzled to utter anything right away. All they did was begin their unrushed trek towards the main building, sun just about ready to disappear beneath the lining of trees.
They made it all the way to the cafeteria, no one having uttered a word still. Halting in their steps in front of the large, closed wooden doors, feet shuffled awkwardly, throats were cleared, and eyes darted all around.
Not being able to take the overwhelming tension, Akko took it upon herself to break it… though she was lost as to what to say in this kind of situation where they had most certainly almost died.
(Though if she thought about it, this wasn’t a rare occurrence either.)
“Um, so… right. Um… I’m-“ Where should she start? A greeting? With an apology? She did just almost kill them. It wasn’t quite on purpose, but- Okay. She’d apologize.
Akko inwardly groaned, words forming on her tongue, breathing in, ready to spew out strings of ‘I’m sorry. And I’m sorry.”
“I-“
“I’m sorry!”
“Huh?” That most certainly did not come from her.
“I… apologize for causing you distress.” Diana mumbled shyly, uncharacteristically. “Especially in that situation, and placing us in danger. I’m sorry.” Her body facing Akko, she had bent herself in a perfect bow.
“D-Diana! You- you don’t need to apologize! That was all me! I should’ve gotten a grip and-“ In her frantic state, Akko had reached over to grab Diana by both shoulders, trying to get her to straighten her posture once more, embarrassed to have someone like Diana in such a state in front of her. “It’s fine, really. You, You’re not at fault!”
At those words, Diana looked up, unease flashing in her eyes.
“Are you sure?” She whispered, Akko almost missing the words. The shorter girl nodded.
“I’m sure.” She replied, just as gently. “You didn’t really do anything wrong.” Akko offered one those smiles of hers that made Diana’s stomach do summersaults, flips, and run miles a minute.
It almost made Diana feel completely relieved. Until she remembered what she had done. Hanging her head ashamedly, she spoke again. “I would still like to offer my apologies. I may have crossed a line just then…”
“Huh? No, what are you, don’t apologize, Diana!” Feeling awkward at how Diana kept asking for her forgiveness, Akko rubbed the nape of her neck out of habit, and a recent vivid memory suddenly began replaying in her mind- the cause of their little “accident”.
Noticing the realization flash across Akko’s face, Diana looked to the side, a hand braced on the opposite arm, crossing her front, as if it were some form of comfort. Diana felt very shy, and very small at the moment.
And that look did not suit her at all, Akko thought. She’d be damned if their day ended on a sad note after all of this.
Reaching for both the heiress’ hands, she called, “Diana-“ And maybe she had gotten a little too excited, too close, as she the aforementioned girl jumped at the sudden proximity. “Ah! S-sorry.” Akko exclaimed, backing off.
Before she could release Diana’s hands, however, she was pulled right back in. “It’s alright.” It was a quiet statement, a simple one. Yet full of so much emotion and assurance.
Akko was entranced once more. Put under Diana’s spell, breathless and unable to pull her eyes away from those deep ocean blues. It was as if she was being reeled in. Caught by the other witch- hook, line, and sinker. She was getting so close. So, so close.
Blue eyes flickered down momentarily, and Akko was pretty sure she knew why.
Closer.
Closer.
Ding. Dong. Ding. Dong.
The chime echoed through the halls, an intercom announcing that dinner would be over in the next ten minutes, and that students should hurry up and finish their meals.
Just like that, the spell was broken, two girls separating a safe distance from one another.
“I-I guess we should hurry now! Wow, we… we sure took our time, haha!” Akko was the first to turn away, pushing the door to the mess hall open, attempting to escape the situation; but before she could take another step forward, a hand clutched to one of her own.
She looked back in time to see a blush bloom on Diana’s face, and Akko thought that it was prettier than any flower.
She probably wasn’t any better.
Diana gave her an unsure smile, like a question, a request for permission. She looked so soft and cute; Akko couldn’t help herself. She responded with a relaxed smile of her own and a squeeze to Diana’s hand, pulling her into the room.
They shared one final look, admiring each other’s features; eyes now clear and full of strong emotion. Two faces burned a fiery red, but their hearts probably burned brighter.
Hands bashfully intertwining as they made their way to the counters, grabbing trays of food and choosing a free table. Trying to focus on the rare Asian cuisine served for tonight’s meal, both tried to erase any remaining embarrassment or lingering awkwardness in the air, but found themselves failing.
Should someone say something? Should they simply eat in peace?
Both sighed in unison, attention darting to each other as they shared a laugh, blushes searing hotly across their faces.
It was starting to get a little hot. But it wasn’t bad at all.
~0~0~0~0~
Another day of much dreaded dance practice. At least, on Akko’s part, she hated it. After all, it was so boring as she was stuck, simply observing everyone else. Her teacher hadn’t really paid her any mind the moment she stepped into the extra class, neither was she given the go-ahead to join everyone else. So, she now found herself seated once more at a corner of the room, watching everyone else practice.
She observed everyone’s motions, trying to get a sense of what dancing entailed, trying to maybe image-train herself. Understanding and picturing the steps out clearly might help her be able to do it once she started dancing.
If the teacher allowed her to take part, that is.
At this point, that prospect was looking a little vague.
A sigh.
“They say you lose a year of life with each sigh, you know?” A pleasant timbre tickled her ears; a hand was extended, entering her line of vision. “I certainly wouldn’t like that. I’d prefer to see you around for much longer.”
“…I didn’t know you could be such a tease.” Akko giggled, looking up into bright eyes that stared at her expectantly, a kind smile playing across Diana’s face.
“I can’t say I don’t share the sentiment. I didn’t know I could be one either.”
Rolling her eyes, Akko took the outstretched hand, a squeak of surprise escaping her as she was pulled up abruptly into comfortable arms.
“W-what are you doing?” Akko aggressively whispered, a shiver running down her spine as a hand made its way to the small of her back, the other taking her own hand. Reflexively, her free hand found purchase on Diana’s shoulder- had it always been this broad- and Akko felt herself led a step forward, onto the dancefloor.
“Why, I’m simply ensuring that all my classmates contribute to this event. Slacking off isn’t a very good thing to do, right now.” Diana responded with her no-nonsense face on, before it was replaced by an impish smirk. They took another step. And another.
Was the world going to end today? Were pigs about to fly? Would Finnelan suddenly become a sweet, kind teacher? All these impossible thoughts streaming through Akko’s head were prompted by the oddness of Diana’s behavior. The other girl certainly had been acting quite different as of late, at least around and towards her.
Before she could question such events further, she suddenly realized what the girl had implied. Eyes widening, but brows furrowing, her face must have been quite a spectacle. She could clearly see the taller witch holding back a laugh. “I’m not- I’m not slacking off!” That was all she could come up with as a reply in her flustered state.
Diana was clearly amused, if her toned-down chuckles were any indication. Akko braced herself for more teasing, wondering if it would end soon.
Contrary to what she was expecting, Diana became serious all of a sudden, smile much more sincere now.
“I know.” – was Diana’s only reply. They had stopped in the middle of the room, Diana adjusting her hold on Akko, allowing the girl time to get more comfortable in the starting position, and get used to their proximity.
“Wha-“
“Dance with me, Akko.”
And that was her only warning; the next thing she knew, Diana had taken the lead, and the ease at which she could follow those movements stunned her, in a good sense, she supposed. Diana never failed to amaze her in everything she did.
Still, regardless of Diana’s skill, it did not hide the fact that Akko was inexperienced and no amount of knowledge-less observation could help her. She soon found herself stumbling into ready arms, careful in catching her.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m sorry, Diana! I can’t do this after all-“ She was unable to complete that statement as she was back in the original posture, Diana taking the lead, slower this time.
“The waltz, like any other dance, has its basics." Diana began to explain. “Take a step backward with your right foot,�� Akko did as she was told without question. Diana nodded as if to say, ‘good’. “Step to the left with your left foot, then bring your right next to it.”
Akko clumsily tried to match Diana’s smoother actions, experiencing some difficulty with executing it in synch with Diana’s poised steps. She wanted to be as graceful as she her partner, but that was proving to be a challenge.
“Do not dwell on how you are performing, at the moment, Miss Kagari.” Diana instructed softly, as if she could hear Akko’s thoughts. “Focus on what you should do first. Now. Left foot forward, and right forward, but to the right; then bring your left foot to your right.” Diana hummed her approval as Akko was able to do as taught.
Akko would make a few random noises and squacks, but Diana paid them no mind. Her full attention was on guiding Akko, watching her every movement and correcting her accordingly until the girl got used to the motions, able to grasp the concept better, movements less rough and choppy.
“One, two, three; one, two, three.” Diana began counting to the music that had been playing in the room, picking up the pace of their movements to correspond to the sound. Her eyes remained staring into Akko’s intensely, yet gentle all the same. A paradox, much like Diana in her entirety was.
Similar to Diana’s concentrated state, Akko could only focus on her; everything not Diana fading out into nothingness. Only Diana remained. Her sweet voice, the way her hair swished about, the body that fit perfectly against her own, the scent she wore today: a bit of a vanilla-like fragrance, and fresh apples; and Akko thought she looked simply dashing, even if she was only in their school-issued jersey and shorts. The clothes did nothing to deter how absolutely gorgeous Diana was in her eyes.
And on that note of being an absolute beauty, Diana’s face was the kind you’d never get tired of staring at for as long as you could.
Eyes you could drown in, refreshing, gentle, and kind; a beautiful shade of blue. Then there was her nose, perfectly sculpted. Diana had fair skin, with a healthy tinge of pink on her cheeks. And of course, there were Diana’s lips- lips that Akko might have been staring at longer than necessary.
Lips. Full and plump. Inviting. Beautiful. Pink. Soft, they looked so soft… Warm.
Diana.
Diana’s lips. So close. If she’d only lean down the tiniest bit forward, maybe they could-
“One, two, three. One, two three. One, two- Miss O’Neill! I could have sworn I told you not to do that part like that-!”
The loud sounds of instruction, berating, and the clacks and squeaks of shoes returned to Akko’s hearing, reminding her of where she was and what she was doing.
“Miss Kagari, Miss Cavendish! Aren’t you a bit too close?” Their teacher’s voice completed the shattering of their own little world, reality seizing them back. With wide eyes, the pair disentangled themselves from one another, standing at a more decent distance away now.
This game of enchantment and being brought back to reality was becoming a dangerous habit of both, it seemed. It felt like playing with fire, and they were at the brink of something they did not know was about to take place; whether the consequences of that event be good or bad. They were both losing control. Over what? Akko felt she’d know soon.
Quietly, she made her way back to her corner of the room, picking up her towel and water bottle, taking long sips to help calm her nerves.
The last thing she registered before losing herself in thought was that she could barely hear Diana’s apologizing to the teacher; it was the only thing she was aware of at that moment… and maybe along with the fact that it was starting to get a little hotter.
~0~0~0~0~
In a corner of Luna Nova’s grand library, away from the prying eyes of other students, the temptations of any distractions, and the general noise of the school halls, was their spot.
A location in the wide chamber’s expanse that served as the standard meeting place of two witches. The top student, and the top problem of teachers- or so some professors and students labelled her. Diana would strongly beg to differ.
Here, in this little area, they’d often meet. To many people, two teens seemingly meeting secretly in a hidden corner of a building sounded like a scandalous affair waiting to be discovered. However, that was not the case for Akko and Diana. Most definitely not. Undoubtedly.
…maybe.
After all, this place was a sanctuary for them that would aid them in their dreams of becoming the greatest witches in the world. It was their place of focus and meditation, growth and dedication, progress and improvement.
It was their study spot.
“Dianaaa~” Akko whined, shattering the silence of the library momentarily. “I really don’t get this problemmmm~” She groaned, flopping face-first into her math book. “There’s just no way!”
Diana sighed, shutting her reading material with a soft clap. “Akko, have you ever heard the phrase, ‘When there’s a will, there’s a way’?” Diana addressed calmly, transferring from her seat by the window to the one next to Akko, adjacent to her initial position, and looking over the girl’s work.
“What if I don’t have a will…” Akko grumbled, glaring at the letters on the notebook she was solving on. “What does the alphabet have to do with math anyway! And what are these symbols and squiggles and lines! This isn’t art class!”
Diana wanted to laugh, finding Akko’s little exasperated tirade adorable, but she knew the girl would just pout at her even more, and possibly get annoyed. The initial response, she’d welcome, but if it meant Akko would ignore her again, she’d rather not.
She decided to give Akko a tip instead, seeing as the girl was relatively close to getting to the answer. She realized something that made her smile proudly at Akko, gaze warming over. “Well, at least you’ve gotten this far in your solution. On your own, might I add.” She gave praise as an encouragement, pleased at Akko’s apparent progressive improvement. She had yet to tutor Akko on this latest topic in their class, but the girl seemed to have been listening attentively in class, managing to understand this much of the material.
“N-not really.” Akko had become bashful as Diana commended her efforts. Despite feeling shy, Akko felt elated that all her hard work paid off in some way or form. Just like how she was able to fly the other day. Fly freely, fly happily with Diana by her side.
Ah. Right. She was reminded of a certain happening right away, but she decided against thinking about it, pushing it to the back of her mind. It would be best if she didn’t dwell on those memories if she wanted to continue concentrating in this study session, actually getting work done instead of dreaming of Diana at almost every moment, awake or asleep.
Opting to shift the attention away from herself to hide the blush that was definitely about to show, Akko turned to Diana. “I wouldn’t get to this point if it weren’t for you, Diana.” Akko admitted with a sincerity that made Diana’s heart flutter.
“Th-that was because of the effort and perseverance you put in.” She countered, her own cheeks taking on a pink hue.
“Not at all. Even with all the work I put in before, I never got far. But ever since you and Ursula-sensei began teaching me, I-“
“Well, you and sensei have been working hard together; I really haven’t done much.” Diana reasoned, ever the humble soul.
“No, you’ve done so much Diana! You’ve really helped me learn a lot, you’ve taught me a lot!” Akko exclaimed, lifting off her seat a few centimeters closer to Diana.
“If we are on the topic of learning from someone else, then you’ve certainly given me more life lessons than I’ve ever given you!” Diana countered, also rising from her seat.
With every return of praise, and/or compliment, the pair failed to notice the distance between them shrinking, too into their war of gratitude.
If she were being honest, this situation stressed Akko out somewhat. Today had been quite comfy; peaceful, friendly and homely. She was hoping it would stay that way. It had been a while since she could simply relax around Diana without worrying about how she should act towards the white-haired witch. Any awkwardness between them these past few weeks, courtesy of their changing relationship, had been forgotten… until this point. It was like she had returned to stepping around the eggshells that were her doubts and fears about this relationship, and the unending internal queries of how she should approach and act around Diana now. She thought she had become quite excited at the prospect of a more intimate relationship with Diana, but equal to that excitement was the amount of fear she had tried to push away these days.
Akko felt her tension rising again, an imaginary string representing her calmness, being pulled taut. What had started as one of their rare calm moments that they almost never had between them nowadays- in the form of a study session- transformed into a heated exchange between the pair, stored tension unravelling from the bundles kept within them.
“You-“
“No, You!”
“Akko!”
“Diana! It’s thanks to you, being so wonderful and amazing, and talented!”
“But Akko you’re the amazing one! You’re inspiring; full of hope, dreams, strength!”
“You’re the strong one! Doing your best for the sake of your family, and for the school, it’s one of the things I like about you!” Akko had now raised her voice, eyes squeezing shut at the intensity with which she expressed her emotions.
“Well, your outlook on life and the way you face your fears and goals head on is what I like about you!” Diana threw back.
“Aren’t you describing yourself? That’s what I admire about you! That and your ability to believe in me, and the people around you!” Akko returned the fiery compliments each time.
“You’ve embodied the phrase, ‘A believing heart is your magic’, and I’ve always admired that about you!” Was complimenting someone always this stressful? Diana wondered.
“Well, if you admire me, then I look up to you!”
“I wholeheartedly appreciate you, then!”
“I respect you!”
“I adore you!”
“I enjoy being around you!”
“I savor every moment I have together with you.”
“I find you very attractive!”
“I love everything about you!” Diana was sure she had never been as loud as this before, especially not while expressing her feelings towards someone else.
“Oh yeah?” Akko challenged, eyes now holding a staring contest with Diana, both waiting on the other to give in, feeling as if they’d explode otherwise.
“Yes.”
“Really now?”
“Yes!”
“Really, really?”
Diana took a deep breath, pushing the next words out, backed with a large volume. “Indeed, I DEEPLY cherish you! I-”
“WELL, I LOVE YOU-!”
Ah.
Two pairs of eyes went wide, Akko stuttering and fumbling out sounds, unable to form anything coherent. Diana felt the need to turn her head away, breaking their connected gazes, trying to look anywhere, at anything that wasn’t Akko to help her calm down.
Had the brunette meant what she said? Was it true? The words Diana had been longing to hear… had they finally been expressed?
Sure, she had a feeling- scratch that, she knew Akko loved her. She tried to trust in the girl and the feelings she was stirring within Diana herself.
Still, it came as a shock.
Diana knew she had said it to Akko before, and that the said girl likely returned her feelings; but she also knew that something was keeping Akko from committing to those feelings. There was always something keeping her from saying it.
Fanning her face, Diana tried to breathe in and out slowly.
The atmosphere was becoming too hot for either of them too handle.
Her eyes that had been darting every which way suddenly made a mistake, her gaze returning to where it had first been, and now they were locked with crimson pools, still wide, so large, so close yet again. Too close, once more.
Diana had forgotten how to breathe, and Akko seemed to struggle likewise.
It was a silent staring contest. A stark contrast to the moments of yelling prior to this. Their eyes saw nothing but the other’s, their breaths mingled due to their proximity. The shared heat between them becoming increasingly unbearable with each passing second that they held fast to their post.
Then it happened. So quick, Diana could have missed it, but it was obvious. Akko’s gaze had flicked to her lips, and in the split second it took for her eyes to meet Diana’s again, the distance was obliterated.
It was soft, yet intense. Hot, but refreshing. Full of mistakes, and absolutely perfect at the same time. Scary but then… they were each other’s reassurance. It felt like forever, but only lasted so few seconds.
Pulling apart breathless, Diana managed to comb a quivering hand into brown tresses, keeping Akko close as she bumped their foreheads together, shutting her eyes to allow her senses relief. In that single moment, Akko had managed to arrest all of her. Everything she felt, smelt, saw, tasted, heard… even thought. They were all Akko. Akko. Akko.
Her scent, the beat of her heart and clammy palms now resting on Diana’s lap; her shaky breaths, the taste of strawberry chapstick, and the red eyes that had tempted her so.
It was all Akko, Akko, Akko.
Akko and her smile. Akko and her whole being.
Akko and her lips.
“Again.”
It was not a request.
Diana would probably have to apologize for her greediness later, but right now, she had lost every chance of regaining her control any time soon.
As they separated after the second kiss, Diana felt the little wind she even had left in her get knocked out her lungs as Akko’s dazed expression did Diana no favors of keeping her sanity.
And as if to tip her over the edge,
“I love you… Diana.”
“I’m sorry, Akko.”
“H-huh? What do you…” Before Akko could even feel confusion or hurt, a loving hand cupped her face, body pulled ever closer by the opposite arm now clinging to her waist. And then came a command she was compelled to comply to, nodding at each repeat.
A single word.
“Again.”
Even if it was looped a thousand times, she wouldn’t say no.
“Again.”
“Yes.”
“Again.”
“Until you’re satisfied, Diana.”
“-!!”
Akko pouted as Diana had created some space between them, breaths heavy and eyes wide.
“Don’t act all taken aback now!” Akko sighed fondly, giggling at the destroyed tension, nuzzling Diana’s cheek sweetly before contrasting that action by fixing the girl with a heated stare, looping her arms over her shoulders, pulling the taller girl down to her level. She had been enjoying Diana’s initiative, but it seems she now needed a jumpstart.
She smirked at the audible gulp, offering a proposal to study something else other than math against swollen lips.
 “Okay, Diana? …Now do it again.”
 They’d finally overheated.
 A/N: Anddd… done! Finally! I could cry!
I baked a frick ton of cookies yesterday and today. 100 fairly large ones hahaha for the holidays. That also took some of my updating time.u I hope I don’t take this long for the next chapter. Huhuhu. It is stressful to think that it takes so long for me to dish something out. Feedback if you would be so kind? Thank you for reading and Merry Christmas!
~Shintori Khazumi
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small-plant-friends · 3 years ago
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I want to say something, this is going to be a long one folks. Regarding mental health.
Ok, public school in the U.S. . Fuck that. They teach shit to nothing about mental health. And I think that’s a big part of why I feel awful now.
Now I have anxiety and depression, as diagnosed by my primary care doctor. (Idk how the medical systems work in not the U.S. so if people don’t know that’s the doctor that handles basic things). Because of my insurance if I want to get coverage for therapy I need to go to my doctor so they can write me a letter telling the insurance I need therapy.
This has all happened in the last year. (Im 19 now, I was 18 when the process started). I went to a therapist for a while, it was awful. I’ve had me mental issues since I was 13ish and have been just dealing with them on my own. I was confused and uncomfortable with myself and my bad mental health so I put on a mask and pretended that I was fine when I was around other people. Because of this I’m not the type of person to talk about my past or present issues. So when I was seeing my therapist I didn’t like that she expected me to talk. And I don’t mean she diodes me on what to say, asking questions and things like that and expecting me to follow her guidance and talk. I mean she would stay silent and stare at me expecting me to spill my guts about all my past trauma to her. I stopped seeing her. My mom says I should have opened up better.
So now I feel awful. Like I’ve done something wrong, or like I should have been better at opening up. Like if I had just relaxed and talked then I would feel better. But I left my first meeting with her crying. And not in a “we just talked out a big stressful situation and I feel better” kind of cry but a “what is wrong with you, why the hell did you decide to do this” kind of cry. And I know that therapy can be hard, especially for people who haven’t talked about it, like myself. And because of knowing that it is supposed to be hard I can’t tell if I’m bad and just expecting too much of a tv show therapy session, or if she just wasn’t a good fit for my. Which brings me back to being confused and feeling awful.
Another thing. My primary care doctor put me on medication for my mental health. This is a good think because I genuinely think that I need it. I was on lexipro before but I made me supper tired, like REALLY tired. So we switched to something else. (I don’t remember the name, I don’t have the bottle in front of me.) What I’m on now is the stuff that we switched to. I can feel a small difference but I still feel tired, and upset, it’s hard to find positive things, and my motivation to do things is non existent.
And again I know that this kind of medication is messing with some shady shit and often the first and second try don’t work properly, but how many do I try? I had a substitute doctor last time I went in and he said that I need to find a new therapist,( which I find terrifying because of how badly the first time went) to get the full experience, and that in 6months to a year they want to try getting my off all mental health meds to see how things go. Who’s is scary because the meds I’m on don’t even make me feel better.
To my understanding of depression and anxiety medication, they are supposed to make your anxiety and depression go away. Well they aren’t. Idk if I need to just keep hoping medications until o get one that works of if this is working and this is just as good as it gets. Trying different medications is uncomfortable too. My primary care doctor always asks me questions like “are you hurting yourself?” or “Any thoughts or actions of suicide?” Which is like no to both, but I use to and I’ve been able to bring myself out of that. But now they mentioned taking me off meds, so should I be suicidal or hurting myself to need medicated help. Do I not really need to be medicated because I don’t want to kill myself anymore. I don’t know.
Another thing that my doctor will ask is “on a percentage scale, how well are the meds helping, with 0% being not at all and 100% being your good?” Which what the fuck. Like I haven’t been mentally healthy since I was at least 13 years old. How the actual fuck am I supposed to know what 100% even feels like to put it on the scale. Like I remember what feeling like a 0 is like that was only a few years ago. But I’ve been dealing with this for at least 6 years I don’t remember being healthy.
So when I say something like 40% or something guessed like that she will either get really disappointed or excited, depends on how long I’d been on the meds for and my dose size. But when she gets disappointed I feel bad. Like should I be doing better, not that how the meds are effecting me is something that I can control, but I still feel inadequate.
I know my dad had the issues i have, that’s partly why I have them. ( fuck DNA) But he doesn’t talk about it. It’s not something I can talk to him about so i don’t have someone more experienced with this stuff to really talk to. (Which is a reason it might be good to get a new therapist, I’m just scared to).
Not I probably could talk to him about this. He’s sit down and explain his experience and stuff, but then he would ask me why I’m depressed and anxious. To which I would tell him genetics, and I’d watch him get all upset because he knows it comes from him. And I wouldn’t tell him that the height of it, the points when I was hurting myself and when I was suicidal was because I’m queer. Now a lot of why my mental health isn’t as bad as it was then is because the m slowly learning to be ok with that.
Now I’m ok (mostly) with being queer, but I was raised to be religious, and homophobic. Which doesn’t help when you realize you like the same gender. I may not be homophobic anymore (unless it’s a bad day for me and my internalized homophobia won’t shut the fuck up) but my family still is. Now this is something I don’t want to talk to him about, because he’s homophobic. So I avoid talking about my mental health all together. (Another reason I should get a new, better, therapist.)
Anyway, I think I got that all out. In a nutshell I don’t know anything and I feel like I’m inadequate because I don’t know anything and so I don’t know if I’m getting better being pushy, rushing it, or idk. Obviously I’m confused.
If you made it this far in the post please leave a comment, say something in the tags, or send me an ask. If you can explain anything I’d appreciate it. Thanks!
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sagessoftwings · 3 years ago
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Heya heya,
if matchups are open, could i get one for haikyu, and/or demon slayer?
Im genderlfuid, female born, she/he/they, and bi or pan sexual idk.
Im 5’6, still growing, I have long straight hair that’s brown faded red. I’m pretty pale, Im thin and don’t weigh much over 100 so besides height i’m tiny.
Uh my mbti is intp i think last time i took the test, im pretty chaotic I’d say, I’m funny and loud especially around my close friends/family. Around people I don’t like/know well i’m quiet and kinda just stick near someone ik, I’m quite the ambivert. I’m really sarcastic. My friend describe me as friendly, loud, (lowkey annoying), a good friend, loyal, talkative.
I can also be really quiet, zoned out and calm, sometimes it switched between the two quickly.
I am quick to defend my friends and family, and I have many opinions on many things.
I have adhd, more inattentive than hyper-active but i have my moments. I love to talk about things I love, things I think are cool, whatever’s on my mind. Something I struggle big time with is noisy environments, I get sensory overload easily especially with loudness, lots of sounds that are uncontrolled, even worse when I’m already feeling anxious.
I have trouble sleeping because my brain doesn’t stop thinking most the time, sometimes I end up not sleeping or falling asleep till 5 am.
I struggle with remembering things, I forget to eat often, forget to do chores i’m asked to do, small and big things.
I set high expectations for myself and get down when I can’t reach them.
Some hobbies I have are gaming, drawing ig, watching anime, crocheting, I picked up volleyball but haven’t had the chance to do much.
I’m either at a 0, 10, 70 or 100, minimum effort or full.
I like to sleep, once i’m asleep i stay asleep and sleep in easily.
I’m lowkey kinda touch starved, (if you hold me there is a 95% chance i will cry), I’m not good at comforting but I try.
I have a bad habit of swearing, do it subconsciously sometime, but try not to around adults who will get onto me.
I’m pretty childish, and I like to play on playgrounds with my friends, and i’m pretty competitive.
I have many dreams and ambitions, not all of them will happen, but I try.
I’m super smart, just can’t always focus/remember, think smart achademically but a little slow sometimes/dumb ig.
Uh idk anything else- some of my top kins are Bokuto, Hinata, Tendou,Reki, Leorio Kaminari, and Hanji for personality, and for more internal thoughts MIYA, Sakusa, Yamaguchi.
My favorite colors are red black and green.
Kinda insecure.
(Lowkey a fear of rejection and disappointing those I look up to.
Style is a big mix, at this point anything I find comfy. Baggy clothes bc those are comfy, jeans, sweatpants/shirts, stuff like that.
That’s all I think, ty if you do this, sorry if they are closed. that’s a little long too isn’t it
hi hi lovely!! Long requests are fine beautiful, help me out more anyways <33
I ship you with Atsumu Miya!!
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It’s both of yours religion to bully his brother
Osamu likes you just not when your with Atsumu
Will so help you achieve your goals and loves to teach you tips and tricks for volleyball 
But I suggest help from Bokuto who also is your best friend no doubt
Atsumu has a habit of taking volleyball very seriously but when it comes to you he mostly just teases you
If you have trouble falling asleep he will stay up with you till you drift of
Lets you lay between his legs with your face pressed in his belly and your arms around his waist
Atsumu is also very picky on noise and hates loud places
Osamu does not trust you two when you and the twins are set to go grocery shopping because you and Atsumu will do something stupid
You once dared atsumu to play on a playground set in the store… and he did
Osamu was very disappointed
Atsumu also loves to listen to you rant
For being a menace to society he really does love showing you how much he cares
Is such a good listener
SHOWER DRAMA TALKS
Only because he can’t trust his brother
Likes to hold you when he does chores or playing video games with you
Literally holds you on his hip like a baby
Is always there to make sure you’ve eaten and will make you food no problem
Atsumu forgets to do chores but then just doesn’t care once he remembers
Blames it on Osamu
You’re very welcome at their place and the twins also have a bad habit of like literally forming a barricade around you when anyone looks your way
Atsumu will bark… maybe bite if they get bold
Suna is also over a lot and thinks you’re dope
You two exchange Miya twin fight videos
But don’t and I mean DONT walk in between the twins, you will get knocked around
Because atsumu cannot walk in a straight line to save his life
He reassured you all the time and randomly as well
You could just be chilling at home and he would show up at your door and be like “I love you, you know that right? Nobody else. Have I also told you how hot you are?”
You thought he did something wrong but it’s literally just him
Fan behavior
Really does adore you though
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interstellix · 4 years ago
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🌻 get to know me 🌻
this was pre fun, thank you sweets for tagging me @kachulein!! :’)
🌻 what do you prefer to be called name wise? depends on who's asking! i'm actually not so picky as long as it's not my actual name (given they're aware i don't like it). in general i prefer nine, which is a nickname my family and most of my friends call me by, but admittingly not sure how i feel about being called that online. vivi, also a common nickname of mine, works just as fine either way tho and other than that, oddly enough a lot of my friends have their own nicknames for me :)
🌻 when is your birthday? december 5th ❄
🌻 where do you live? sweden
🌻 three things you are doing right now? watching my favorite talk show, drinking tea and just resting :)
🌻 four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now? not sure about piqued but lately i've been getting more and more involved than i already was in mamamoo, ateez, the boyz and seventeen's fandoms basically i'm turning more into a clown than i already am.
🌻 how's the pandemic treating you? so-so, i'd say? in a way it's not that different, seeing how even before the pandemic my socially anxious ass often spent a lot of time at home doing diy works, editing, writing and even work (as it's something i can do from home as well). i did notice though that being forced, or like recommended to stay at home is a lot more torturing than when you do it on own free will haha. i'm also missing some friends and going to certain places :(
🌻 a song you can't stop listening to right now? oof i can't just name one lmao so,,,
the boyz – salty
mamamoo – hip
khalid – talk
namika – lieblingsmensch
🌻 recommend a movie? intouchables is really, really good, no joke when i say i bawled my eyes out, literally just that touching :'(
🌻 how old are you? going 20
🌻 school, university, occupation, other? i'm not in school nor uni but am currently studying a physics class. i also do secretary work at a company and work at a hair salon :')
🌻 do you prefer hot or cold? fjdkdk that's a hard one but i think i'll go with hot. i'm awful with heat, always gives me a headache and just feels really uncomfortable. onnn the other hand, my body starts hurting stupid easily from the cold and i :') no :')
🌻 name one fact others may not know about you? i- ... i’m sorry i’m not much of an interesting person so i really can’t come up w any interesting facts or secrets or stuff lmao
🌻 are you shy? i don’t think shy even begins to explain it djdskjdsk. i am shy ye, quite a lot hhhh
🌻 do you have any preferred pronouns? she/her
🌻 any pet peeves? people who interrupt you while you're talking 🙂 it literally takes so much of my willpower to not break smth oof. also, if there’s something i really, really hate, it’s when people just. can’t. cough. or. sneeze into the inside of their elbow, like please i-
🌻 what's your favorite "dere" type? not a question i often think about but perhaps dandere :0
🌻 rate your life 1-10. currently i’m going back and forth between 4 and 6
🌻 what's your main blog? this one!
🌻 list your side blogs and what they are used for. let's keep this one a secret 😌
🌻 is there anything you think people need to know about you before being friends with you? oof there are a few things yeah haha. if we’re talking online, something that def should be known is that i can be v v slow at answering messages. i’m not sure how to put it in words, it’s not that i don’t want to talk to my friends, but i’m often either too anxious or too drained of energy to answer for a good while :/ i’m also god awful at putting my thoughts into words, especially over text. other than that, i’ve never really been comfortable enough to let people irl know this but i wish irl friends or “soon-to-be friends” would know that i pretty damn often feel absolutely run over by social anxiety. this goes even with my closest friends so like, whenever i say no to some plans, cancel last minute or act a bit off while hanging out with friends somewhere, i often get misunderstood for not wanting to be with them, hence coming off as rude but really, it’s just out of anxiety lmao
not sure who’s up for doing it, not a must butbut! @soulkhunscompass @astronomlns @tetsusbabe @0325-4419
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