#and I think that's exactly what we fucking need especially for American audiences to get a fucking clue

[thesearchforbluejello]

I am honestly just rendered very much speechless by this week's SNW. Like... I am not sure I have come this close to the exact vibe of M*A*S*H as having this fucking unbelievable gutpunch of an episode between the LD crossover and a musical episode???????????? I don't even know how to unpack this episode honestly. I didn't see it coming at all even given the title. I don't know how to place it between silliness and fun when I know people who are living the reality of what this episode explores, but I think it is something that current audiences sorely need to see.

[toneelspeelster]

re a little life - is this the one with james norton as jude? i'd love to hear more of your thoughts about how you found it. was hanya similarly involved in this one as in the dutch version?

oh. get ready, i got thoughts. read more for spoilers i guess. mind you i'm very biased as a dutch person. i don't know if hanya was more involved.

the show's almost exactly the dutch one and it's kinda to its detriment a little when you know of the dutch one (which i still prefer). like the stage's the same (but way smaller as a consequence of dutch theatres just being way bigger than london ones). clothing wise it's even very similar. but this made it extremely difficult for me not to just focus on the differences in acting bc it's the same play functionally.

the show is shorter by 20 min and as a consequence there's not a lot of breathing room for the characters or audience. one specific part i noticed is that the happy years were cut down. that choice is an interesting one bc it does all around make it feel like this version is a bit more of a trauma conga line than the dutch version feels like. this combined with the fact that the rape scenes were simulated way more extensively than it was in the dutch one and you got to wonder: why is this needed for the english version? it's not like we shy away from explicitness in the netherlands.

acting wise it was all very similar direction to the original. james was fine i guess, he wasn't really directed differently from the dutch one but i did sense a different feeling in that i feel that james felt more emotionally open throughout whilst i feel that ramsey really got that internal strife and guardedness that jude had way more. his portrayal is so fucking layered and his screams are guttural. then again ramsey is like. one of The Dutch Theatre Actors. it's no wonder he got the dutch equivalent of tony awards/laurence olivier awards for this role. and was one of ivo van hove's main cast of actors but more on that later. so james was fine. he did have a good challenge in the role i think, which he took to what his heights are.

willem's interpretation here was frankly terrible. my friends and i fully agreed on this; he just didn't feel like willem from the book at all. he's way more of a weird teenager dude bro and there were less moments in the first half that fully indicated that there always was a bit more between willem and jude so in the second half i didn't completely buy that this version would be in love and say it to jude like that. it just didn't feel organic. and in the final death scene - when throughout the second half he felt a bit marginally better - he fully reverted back to this comic relief status like. i just snickered. i'm sure the actor is fine in other work. i just think the interpretation missed its mark here. maybe as adelstitel mentioned in one of our comments they felt he needed to be a comic relief character bc the play is full of trauma and in those tragic stories the audience does need to have release of tension sometimes. but it was way too much.

support cast was good, especially jb was terrific, and i liked andy. have no real feelings about caleb/luke/taylor but i do think hans kesting is way more terrifying in the role, maybe also because of the room he has in the dutch one. like he's got space he can use menacingly that the english actor can't bc of room limitations.

everything was in an american accent. sometimes the accent was quite strong, like with harold. that was kind of.. very distinct. and different from the dutch actor who is flemish and has one of the softest accents and voices. harold also stayed closer to jude at the end. one of the changes i did like is that both harold and jude sang a bit more at each other as a reference to the mahler song.

i think the dutch actors have the advantage of being a set cast of actors who work with each other through multiple different theater plays. there's just something magic there in their chemistry. and i thnk ivo very much knows what he can extract from them and that would be more difficult from a different cast.

so in short; basically the same show so it was good, but different interpretations and comparing them are difficult to avoid when seeing this in multiple languages. i appreciate the booklet giving a bit more background on ITA's existence bc how many times would an international show not in english be able to successfully make the move to english. nevertheless.. it's just subtitles to overcome!

[qqueenofhades]

I don't know if you've seen it, but I just saw Trevor Noah's monologue about RvW, and I am so angry right now, and I'm not even from the US. He has a huge platform and influence, to the point where things he said on the show were quoted by protesters back in the BLM protests. Usually he says incredible things, but he just went on a rant on how the democrats in power "haven't done anything" to stop this and to protect the right for abortions and that basically we shouldn't donate to democratic nominees anymore before they show us proof of their success, and the crowd cheered so hard. And i'm just. So fucking angry. That's NOT how politics work and saying this the way he did is actively harming the cause. Sorry, I just had to rant, and it felt like you would understand my frustration.

Ugh. I haven't seen it, but that is, as you point out, deeply disappointing, since Noah is a respected political commentator with a large audience and a considerable platform to influence the debate. I would think that he's definitely one of the people who knows better, and is just mobilising the misdirected anger at the Democrats to get quick likes and kudos, which a lot of other irresponsible clout chasers are doing; someone like him should do better than that. Or he genuinely feels that this is the case, in which event then he needs to sit down and think about the whole situation a lot harder.

I am all for pressuring Democratic elected officials, especially those who currently do hold all three branches of Congress/the executive, to DO MORE in response to this. But withholding fundraising or punishing them for the decision itself, rather than trying to help them respond effectively to the aftermath, is beyond asinine. There is literally nothing that anyone in the American government, apart from the Supreme Court itself, can do to stop or overrule its decisions. The fact that the opinion even leaked ahead of time was utterly unprecedented and triggered a furious witch hunt among the court insiders. Otherwise we would have just been dropped with it like a bomb out of the clear blue sky and that would be it. We would have had no forewarning, even though people like me and a lot of other politically plugged-in people were warning that it was coming. This is the result of the bad-faith, extremist right-wing, nakedly partisan Court we were stuck with as a result of the Trump presidency. Anything else is straight up and disingenuous disinformation.

People like AOC are shouting at the Democrats to "restrain judicial review," as if this is the Democrats' fault for not preventing SCOTUS from carrying out the function appointed to it by the Constitution. The fact that SCOTUS did its job is not the issue; the fact is that SCOTUS was staffed with terrible personnel by a terrible president and a terrible Senate majority leader, that this was a direct result of their win in a terrible election in 2016, and if you can't or won't draw that distinction, you don't have any business commenting on American politics right now. If Hillary had become president and appointed 2 or 3 SCOTUS justices, this would never have happened, we would have a liberal majority on the court for the next generation, and all the damage of the Trump years would have been avoided. Alas, you kinder timeline. I want to live there so bad.

American democracy is not designed to guard against a personal, evil, deliberate, wide-ranging bad actor like Trump. As long as he occupied the office, he was entitled to exercise its prerogatives, however terribly and corruptly he did so. People like me warned throughout the 2016 campaign season that even aside from being the worst human being alive, he would be able to fill likely multiple SCOTUS seats with the help of an increasingly reactionary and fascist Republican party. Once again, that is exactly what happened. There is a direct line from A to B to C. It's not a mystery or some nebulous clusterfuck where Both Sides To Blame!!! We know exactly what happened in this specific instance, and how. It's really discouraging to see people whitewashing it so thoroughly in their psychotic quest to blame the Democrats for everything. If you don't remember what happened only six fucking years ago, there's no way you can ever muster a coherent response to the actual situation, rather than yelling slogans and blaming the wrong people and continuing to make everything worse.

Anyway. As I said, this is deeply disappointing, especially from someone with such a platform/influence. So the Republicans took away Roe, and we should... punish the Democrats for it, take away their ability to effectively respond, and make it more likely that the Republicans will win actual elected office as a result. Sure. Seems entirely smart and logical and progressive. Or, you know. Not.

[dhaaruni]

No offense, but I believe the Founding Fathers could only write all that liberty and justice for all stuff with a straight face specifically because they knew there'd always be a permanent underclass they could deprive of those rights whenever it was economically/infrastructurally convenient. In the 18th-19th century it was mostly Black slaves; today... it's still racial/ethnic minorities (with maybe some more poor white people than before). Past the pretty words, it's still a feudal monarchy.

Lol first of all, America is absolutely not a feudal monarchy in any sense because our taxes do not pay for Joe Biden's designer clothes and his house on Rehoboth Beach the way modern Great Britain's taxes pay for whatever the fuck the BRF does. You can criticize capitalism without labeling it equivalent to feudal monarchy where almost nobody could have any wealth of their own.

Also, no one normal really cares about the Founding Fathers' rationale for writing the Constitution/Declaration including me quite frankly. The audience for that stupid New Republic piece about how Hamilton is a sign of neoliberalism and Obama/Hillary Clinton being evil is like, overeducated white people with too much free time. Obviously the founding fathers were all wealthy white men and therefore hypocritical in their assessments of freedom and justice, but the average person doesn't think about that when they think about the Constitution lol.

I hate Ryan Grim with a burning passion but Ro Khanna's framing of patriotism is exactly what I'm talking about. The vast majority of Americans, ESPECIALLY immigrants, agree with Khanna, who's actually a great messenger like put him on MSNBC more and Cori Bush less!!

The Lincoln Project is grifterish but this is the kind of messaging the Democratic Party needs to be using. America good, we'll make it better for ALL Americans is a whole lot more appealing than America bad, Americans evil, let's punish people who don't deserve what they have. Also, the cheerful patriotic music and pretty scenery helps! Voters vote on vibes, and people like to ~believe in America even if you personally don’t.

Republicans have a loud and sneering contempt for everything about this country outside of their tribe and meanwhile, liberals just don't take the lay-up of "We love America which is why we want to make it better for all Americans" because Dem consultants and all the academics don't let us, and it's killing us at the ballot box because voters think we don't share their values when we literally do! Democrats care just as much about family and God and community and supporting our troops (or whatever) as Republicans do but our loudest members don't actually give a shit whether Democrats keep or lose our majorities since they're in safe seats so they don't care to abide by that messaging.

Like my point is, you don't have to believe in the patriotism stuff even if I do, but the Democratic Party apparatus (and not just 80% of elected officials) needs to do a much better job of acting like we believe in it and care about what voters care about (even if we personally think it's stupid) or we're going to keep on losing winnable races like we did in Virginia. Like, losing Virginia by 2.5% is really bad when Biden won it by 10% and it doesn't matter that it was closer than in 2009 and therefore 2022 won't be as bad as 2010 because in both cases, the Democratic candidate lost and the people of the state are going to suffer. Politics isn't about some grand intellectual exercise, it's literally a matter of life and death a lot of the time (just look at how Florida vs. Washington state did with COVID-19), and people need to get that like, now.

[imperiuswrecked]

To me, it doesn’t make sense to make Magneto the main villain because it has been done so much before and it would connect it so much to the Fox Films. Also I think there is a GREAT laziness in writing Magneto especially in films. He generally didn’t want to kill all humans, subjugate them yes because he doesn’t trust them. Which isn’t a ‘good guy’ move in itself and he slips in and out of.

He legit murdered genocide I think when he was going to kill all humans. Like no.

I also think that the average cinema goer likes Magneto too much… or maybe that is me. It would also require them to recast the most famous faces of the franchises?

Like is anyone going to care if they recast Jean, Scott, Iceman, Rogue, Kitty, Beast even Mystique but Magneto? I don’t know. I have long been a fan of an actual Jewish actor playing Magneto but following Ian McKellan would be difficult for the casual fans to accept. I don’t think Fassbender left such an amazing impression.

Even my most average MCU fans friends (and god they love the MCU 😤 but I see past it) still talk about how much they want to see a Magneto solo film.

To me I would put the focus on their reveal and sentinels. Then again I thought they’ll go through Krakoa stuff. Like it turns out the mutants have been living on this Island etc

With the ‘simpler times’ comment I have to for the sake of my sanity have to think that it was because Pietro knew where he was. Things were clear to him, as much as it hurt he had his sister. The following trauma had not occurred. Again I don’t think this is true but I am trying to reason bad writing. He didn’t doubt his morality but was indebted and controlled. Shitty actions were out of his control.

I don’t read Avengers so I didn’t know he was shelved for so long.

I think the Trial of Magneto is trying to ride on the coattails of Wandavision because even though she’s not a mutant a lot of the internet was wanting Magneto to show up. So what is the best way to get those fans who wanted to see that? Set up a family comic book where they establish the family again because I guess the MCU fans heard they’ve changed their background and themselves didn’t like it.

I see the Trial of Magneto as something poorly thought out as they saw what the audience was interested in. The timeline kind of clashes uncomfortably with Inferno. Which makes me think it was wedged in there to ride the Wandavision train and undo the retcon on the side of the main storyline.

Thank you for reading my essay/rant

Ok so I'm going to first say you have a lot of great thoughts and great on picking up the whole forced feeling. You are right, it does feel wedged in there and it does feel forced because that's exactly what Marvel did.

The Trial of Magneto was supposed to be an X-Factor plot, it was Leah Williams next arc, here's an article link talking about her podcast: link (yes I know it's bleeding cool but I don't have time to listen to the podcast)

Leah Williams tells us that X-Factor was canceled because Leah's pitch for the Magneto/Wanda story for X-Factor, now called Trial Of Magneto, became such a popular pitch at Marvel but they thought the reader numbers for X-Factor wasn't big enough for this story, so they wanted it as a separate comic. And canceled X-Factor #10 rather than seeing it run as originally planned, with the Trial beginning in X-Factor #15. Williams says she only learned about the cancellation of X-Factor when she was writing #9, so as she had to finish the series quickly, squeezing six issues worth of story into those last two issues, calling it "cramped and rushed".

So I'm not a fan of Leah but the way Marvel treats it's writers has always been terrible so this cancellation doesn't surprise me. Could this be about W*ndaVision? It's likely, but it's more likely this has to do with Hickman bowing out. It's no secret literally everyone hated the retcon and I always knew it would be undone but I didn't think it would take 6 years but here we are.

Hickman leaving is a bigger thing, he stated in an interview ( link ) that he had planned Krakoa and X-Men to be a 3 arc story, and he wasn't allowed to move onto the 2nd arc because the clowns at Marvel liked the idea of Krakoa too much and I'm so mad because that's exactly the kinda behavior that annoys me with the fans, them thinking Krakoa is just a fun playground for the mutants to mess around with.

"Oh, plans have changed entirely," Hickman says. "When I pitched the X-Men story I wanted to do, I pitched a very big, very broad, three-act, three-event narrative, the first of which was House of X. And while this loosely worked as a three-year plan, I told Marvel upfront that I honestly had no idea how long the first part would last because there were a lot of interesting ideas that I had seeded that other creators would want to play with, and so, we left this rather open-ended. I was also pretty clear with all the writers that came into the office what the initial, three-act plan was so no one would be surprised when it was time for the line to pivot." Hickman continues, "However, I also knew that I was cooking with dynamite, and it was very possible that what I had written in House of X, and the ideas contained within, was not actually the first act of a three-act story, but something that resonated more deeply and worked more like Giant-Size X-Men, where it would represent a paradigm shift in the entire X-Men line for a prolonged period of time. So, during the pandemic, when the time came for me to start pointing things toward writing the second-act event, I asked everyone if they were ready for me to do that, and to a man, everyone wanted to stay in the first act. It was really interesting, because I appreciated that House of X resonated with them to the extent that they didn't want it to end, but the reality was that I knew I would be leaving the line early."

I'm so MAD because the thing I was predicting, that Hickman would have it come crashing down and everything would be revealed to be terrible and Mutant Death Sex Cult Island wasn't a paradise is never going to happen because the fucking CLOWNS at Marvel don't want him to move past it. I may have my personal gripes about some of Hickman's writing but we can't deny the man wrote one of the best if only the best Marvel Event with Fantastic Four/Avengers/Secret War.

As for the simpler times comment, like I have my theories that I wrote out here, and that's what I think is most likely but I do think Pietro's life has never been easy or simple once his adoptive parents died. Pietro could be drinking to a time before the Brotherhood.

I would love for a Jewish actor to play Magneto and any other characters who are Jewish. I would love for a Jewish writer to be able to write them too. However Ian's performance literally set him in the minds of the people as Magneto, not even Fassbender's bleh one note Magneto could compare. Imo the only reason people liked the younger Magneto was because he was young, handsome (? ig idk i dont simp for him) and they could ship him with young professor X (cowards. where is the old man ship???) But I feel like a new actor could definitely fill the role if they are Jewish and the writing was good.

Magneto's writing in comics... well I just wish we could have a Jewish writer for him. There's some great stuff for him but I feel like characters like him and Doom could be written better by non white/american writers.

Although by today's standards the og X-Men trilogy doesn't hold up I will defend the first two movies with my life simply because after Blade these movies opened up the idea that a good serious, non campy version where characters called Magneto and Cyclops were taken seriously. X2 in my mind was the definitive X-Men movie. Was it totally comic accurate? No, but it doesn't do what the MCU does, it doesn't treat the watcher like they need to have their hand held through all the military propaganda and "hints to the comics". Also side note; the reason no one cared about any of the other X-Men being recast is because all through most of the X-Men movies the focal story point has been Professor X vs Magneto. If they really want people to care about those characters/actors then we would need stories that focused on them. Not like how Storm barely had any character growth or plot in the og X-Men and even young Ororo got mishandled by the script. This is why I feel we should have "origin movies" for the X-Men that don't do what Wolverine Origins did and try to make a whole new cast but instead should use the stories as they are. If it was Kurt's story then we would see him join the X-Men, and have the other actors revolve around that. Same with each of the others, the X-Men work best when they are working off each other and each given enough screen/page time to shine. Unfortunately we all have our favorites, even movies and writers, so those are who are going to be pushed for fans to love.

Thank you for your long rant and sorry for my own long rant/reply.

[babyhoney-28]

So this is me trying to type out some of the thoughts I have regarding the current stunt around Harry.

I have the feeling a lot of us are still trying to make sense of what is going on, because so much about this situation just doesn’t seem to make any sense at all. People are definitely confused and irritated and it seems like no one has really been able to make sense of it all as of yet.

What I want to start with, because it’s what’s been the hardest for me to wrap my head around, is the wedding situation. Especially the pictures showing Harry happily officiating Jeff and his wife. I don’t want to really go into the fact that holding a wedding these days, especially in a city like LA where covid cases are running over the hospitals, is extremely ignorant, inconsiderate and basically a big fuck you to everyone who is struggling because of the virus for whatever reason that may be.

I think we all felt extremely disappointed in Harry for not only attending this wedding despite the pandemic, but also officiating it. This behaviour is quite frankly very hypocritical, especially considering he put out that stay at home shirt, yet has since then not at all been acting accordingly. We all thought he knew better and would do better than this and we have every right to be upset about it.

It also was really weird to see Harry so happy next to Jeff, when most of us had the feeling, especially over the last couple of month, that Harry isn’t doing very well atm. We’ve seen the acceptance speech videos, watched the jingle balls performance and how off, exhausted and unhappy he seemed. Tbh it was and still is really concerning. We therefore have been worried and suspecting that Jeff is miss-managing Harry, trying to create an idol and image out of Harry that he himself has said multiple times he doesn’t want to be. All Harry wants to do is make music and entertain people. But here is his team, pushing him down everyone’s throat and creating fake narratives to make him more interesting, to the point where people are already getting tired of him, because they are basically creating an image for him that is just not very likeable (e.g. queerbaiter & homewrecker).

People have been quite vocal over their dislike towards Jeff, while simultaneously another part of Harry’s fandom have been aggressively defending him, those that view Jeff as Harry’s best friend (which ironically are the same people that not only shit on the other 1d boys but also on Harry’s actual familiy).

So here we were all worried about Harry, believing he was unhappy with the situation he was in because of what his team and Jeff are turning him into (which has gone as far as articles being written about it) when suddenly those pictures of Harry officiating Jeff’s wedding drop, contradicting what we were thinking, while simultaneously proving what other fans believe, that they are in fact close friends.

So this was the part that confused me the most over this whole situation. Why would Harry so happily participate in this wedding and stunt when he seemed so unhappy and had every right to be so?

Here comes the part where I might be reaching, but the more information we got about this wedding, the more sketchy and sus it became. When I first hear people suggest this whole wedding was a stunt, I thought people were reaching, but the more I think about it the more realistic I think it is. Because:

1) why was there paparazzi if this was a private wedding?

2) why did Harry bring a +1 when this was a small private wedding that took place during a pandemic. There’s really no justification for her to have been there, especially when they just started dating

3) when did this wedding take place? This weekend? In November? Because there apparently haven’t been any events at that location due to covid

4) the wedding dress situation is sus. A dress from 2018 that was most likely second hand, whatever. But the fact that it was not fitted to her at all is just very suspicious

5) They might have been married for some time according to some articles

It looks like the paparazzi were there for Harry alone, both to show that he officiated the wedding (and prove the close friendship) and be used in order to announce the relationship. The paps were called there with an intention after all, and Olivia, even if she really was Harry’s gf, had absolutely no business being there given the current circumstances and restrictions. You just don’t bring +1 to a wedding at the moment, especially not if you only just started dating them.

All of this considered, I have the feeling this entire wedding might have been faked with the function to 1) show that Harry and Jeff are close friends and 2) to announce the relationship. Faking a wedding really isn’t that hard if you think about it, all you need is a location, some people in suits and robes, a couple and a photographer. I’d say the current situation makes it even easier because everything is smaller and toned down anyways. It also isn’t that unimaginable that they would pull shit like this. Jeffs dad is allegedly worse than Simon, and we all know what Simon did to Louis. What is faking one wedding that helps dealing with two issues at once compared to baby gate? Even if said wedding took place during a pandemic (this is where I think this whole thing may have actually taken place in November when the covid situation wasn’t as bad)..

Obviously, H&O is a PR stunt. It’s so painfully obvious in fact, it’s pretty much developed into a comedy show within less than 24 hours.

Now, the question that we are all still having is why? Why pair these two, when it puts both of them in such a bad light and certainly can’t be beneficial for their careers in any way, shape or form? Why did Olivia agree to this when this compromises her professionalism? Those seem to be the main questions that people are struggling to come to find a reasonable answer for. However, if one looks back at other Hollywood scandals, this seems to fit right in there, or isn’t even half as bad as some previous scandals or gossip. Think of the Jennifer, Brad and Angelina situation or the cheating scandal around Kristen Steward for example. It’s stories like this that are eaten up by the media and the general public (especially the American audience), because it’s juicy and scandalous and something to gossip about. But in the long run, it’s probably not as career damaging as we make it out to be, since people will get tired and move on to the next drama. It will taint their reputations yes, but also bring them a lot of attention and will most likely not be as ruinous to their careers as we think.

But what could be in it for Olivia? Promo for the movie, maybe because the interest from the go wasn’t big enough yet? She might have other projects coming up that she could need the attention for.. I don’t know but she will have her reasons.

As for Harry, I think we have to admit that he has been without a stunt for much longer than we could have hoped for.. He’s been in involved in narratives just as bad before, this only earns him one more bad title (homewrecker). This stunt however certainly helps in making him even more of a household name, which is exactly what his team has been going for. Thinking further ahead, Olivia might be who future songs of his could be claimed to be about. My hope for the reason of this stunt, as it is the hope of all of us, is that something is going to change about Louis’ stunt situation soon, that baby gate might really soon come to an end and that H&O serves to prevent Larry speculation to arise.

This leaves the question of how long this stunt is going to last. It by now seems like they really are going through with this stunt, so we might have to deal with this for a while (though part of me still hopes they will pull a they are just friends and he is being there for her after her break up card)...

[brightblueinky]

Pardon me for the intrusion, but you're the only person I found who's still into CC and I have to ask: does the romantic aspect of Chrono's and Rosette's relationship seem lacking to you? Like I can see when Rosette starts to view him as a love interest (chapter 28), but I can't see when Chrono starts to view her as one. To me it feels like he only had an interested in Mary, and Rosette is just his very beloved friend; the kiss felt too sudden. I'm sorry, I just need a second opinion on this.

Okay I am so sorry I didn’t respond to this until now, I’ve mostly been using tumblr on my phone and using it to check a few blogs and occasionally the CC tag, and apparently tumblr doesn’t notify for asks on the mobile app? Or I’m not seeing it? Something. I have no idea how long you’ve been waiting for a response on this, so I’m really sorry! I hope you find this!

I think I need a reread of the manga at this point--a lot of the stuff I’m writing these days is going off of head canon which might not be 100% accurate anymore. So I’m just going to write this off the cuff. Gonna be a bit stream of consciousness! So this is definitely not a definitive opinion or even one I’ll always stand by, just how I personally feel in this particular moment.

So off the top of my head...

I think we see less things from Chrono’s point of view than from Rosette’s, which is part of what makes this tricky. This isn’t ALWAYS the case obviously (we see his sort of...PTSD dream flashback after Rizelle’s death, the flashback in volume 6 is basically from Chrono’s viewpoint since it’s mostly his memories, etc), but since one of the way the plot moves forward is the mystery of what happened in Chrono’s past usually the viewpoint is more centered around Rosette. I actually always assumed that Rosette was the only character that Moriyama would consider the protagonist until I saw that on a dust jacket for one of the books he said that BOTH Chrono and Rosette are (can’t remember which book, sorry! it was a fan translation).

Thinking about it, I think we see Chrono start to realize he has romantic feelings at the end of volume 6. I think that’s the first time he really, truly comes to accept his contract with Rosette as a good thing instead of just...the lesser of two evils, I guess? It’s when he goes “oh, yeah, I made the contract because otherwise she would’ve run off to solve the problem on her own, and I didn’t want to leave her alone.” I think that’s when he starts to really see Rosette as someone that’s on the same level of emotional maturity as him, too--earlier he occasionally teases her for being immature, but I think when Rosette tells him that she wants to share his pain, and Mary’s, that he sees how emotionally strong she is as a person and really respects that. Not that he didn’t see her as strong BEFORE, buuut like...he’d been so hesitant to share his past with Rosette until right then, and her response, I think, makes him realize how helpful having her support really is to him.

This isn’t really the same situation and is definitely my own personal reaction, but as I write this it makes me think of when I was dating my husband. I was initially terrified he was going to break up with me because I was bisexual--we both came from conservative Christian backgrounds and were homeschooled, and in the past he expressed homophobic sentiments--but I felt like I HAD to tell him because I couldn’t see myself in a long term relationship with someone I couldn’t be 100% honest with. His reaction when I told him was to immediately tell me he trusted me and cared about me, start to reconsider what he’d been raised to feel immediately, and he’s become one of my biggest advocates as I’ve come out to friends and family. Coming out to him was one of the best things I’ve ever done, but it was terrifying until I did. I can see Chrono having similar fears talking about his past with Rosette, and having a similar sense of relief and healing as soon as he realized how much Rosette is in his corner and how helpful having someone he can be open with actually is.

In the next chapter, Rosette holds Chrono’s hands to comfort him while they briefly talk about their current situation (Chrono being held in, uh, demon jail? and Rosette being taken off of her mission to find Joshua), then they both blush and get flustered when they realize what they’re doing. They babble small talk afterward while inner dialogue repeats Rosette’s promise to share Chrono’s pain, and Mary’s too. And then RIGHT AFTER is when Remington walks in and takes them to Aion’s old house on the beach so...that’s about it.

So I think the manga does show that, either right after he’s pulled out of his coma by Rosette or sometime in the aftermath, Chrono is starting to acknowledge that his feelings for Rosette might be more romantic. But it is VERY brief, because literally everything after that is two volumes of the big finale, taking place entirely over no more than 24 hours. Everything after that is rushing to tie up as many loose ends as possible--Fiore being Satella’s sister, saving Joshua, Joshua beginning to grapple with the gravity of what he’s done and been a part of and what’s been done to him, Aion and Chrono’s confrontation, the Order and the Sinner’s confrontation, Rosette’s near death experience, Aion’s motivations revealed, Chrono and Aion’s true relationship revealed, Azmaria finally coming into her own in terms of taking ownership of her powers, the culmination of Aion’s plans (and near-Apocalypse caused by it), the true nature of demons, the deaths of most of the Sinners, Shader’s defection, Joshua and Fiore’s relationship being somewhat resolved, Rosette and Chrono’s relationship being somewhat resolved...like holy shit there is SO. MUCH. THERE.

On top of that, I’ve got the Japanese reprints and while I can read basically no Japanese (HUGE GRAIN OF SALT INCOMING), I’ve pointed Google Translate at some of the omakes and from what I can tell, Moriyama talks in the omake in...volume 6, I think, that he basically had a whole other volume’s worth of story for the flashback that had to be cut! If I’m understanding it right, it’s like...from Remington’s perspective, and involves some Native American tribe or reservation that had connections to the Sinners, and the woman in charge of the orphanage Joshua and Rosette grew up in was a child living in a town nearby....

Basically, from what I can tell? Moriyama had a LOOOOOOOOT of background stuff he wanted to go into in the back half of Chrono Crusade that he wasn’t able to do for time reasons. I’m not sure if his editor gave him a deadline, or he realized it would be too meandering, or what exactly happened, but...have you ever heard the “iceberg” theory of writing? Basically, flesh out as much of the backstory as you can--know everything about the town your story is set in, the family of your protag and their relationships with them, what they eat for breakfast, just...every little minutia you can possibly think of, but most of that won’t get into your story. The audience will only see the tip of the iceberg, but knowing so much background about your setting and characters will help it feel more alive and inform your decisions as you write.

I think Moriyama had a fucking huge iceberg, basically, and I think he actually wanted to show more of that, but...couldn’t. So we get little pieces of art that reference this entire backstory for Satella we never see, and Aion, etc....that gets small nods but doesn’t make it into the manga.

And I think there’s a lot of things Moriyama wanted to give time to breathe in the manga but due to space limitations, couldn’t. So that’s why the second half of the manga literally takes place from Thanksgiving to sunrise on Christmas Day and is...the entire second half of the manga. He’s rushing to get in as much as possible while still letting the story flow as a story and sometimes...it’s not perfect.

So....I think unfortunately, yeah, one of the casualties of that is that we don’t get a huuuuuge amount of Chrono’s side of the relationship, because most of the moments that really shows that they’re heading in that direction is from Rosette’s POV. Other than the scene I already mentioned, I think you could argue that Chrono’s reaction to “the place that Chrono can go back to was decided 4 years ago!” might also be the first moment he starts to consider how important Rosette is to him, but that doesn’t HAVE to be romantic...Chrono’s reaction to her death (and then realizing there’s a chance to revive her) again emphasizes how important she is to him, but it doesn’t HAVE to be romantic...the kiss at the end is the only thing that really 100% says “Yes, this is romantic and not platonic” on his part. And...yeah. It feels a bit sudden. There’s some underlying hints before that but...I mean, I know about them because I’m obsessive about character growth and narrowed in on it in subsequent rereads, I’m not sure if it came through right away on my first read of the manga, and I even knew going into it that they were at least meant to be teased as a ship, so, yeah.

Also I briefly want to admit that as I’ve gotten older, the age gap bothers me a little more. Not enough for me to abandon the ship, just, you know, it’s something I acknowledge will turn some people off. I think Chrono, maturity-wise, is meant to be seen as...about 20. I think Moriyama mentions in one of the early omakes that that’s what he looks like in his unsealed form, we know that when he leaves Pandaemonium it’s right after his coming of age ceremony so he’s about what a demon would consider to be 18 in terms of emotional (and physical?) maturity, and especially since he’s been sleeping for 50 years since that period of his life he doesn’t have the experience that his age really indicates (which Aion blantantly points out near the end). So I’m not THAT bothered by it because I don’t think that Rosette and Chrono are actually that inequal in terms of emotional maturity but it’s still...there, and...I mean he met her when she was 12...so...yeah that’s a bit weird!! 

I’ve just gotten to where I shrug my shoulders and go “look, every ship in Chrono Crusade has something problematic about it, if you’re going to be a fan of Chrono Crusade you’re probably going to have to grapple with the fact that it’s messy and human and nobody is 100% good or bad in the manga, and that’s part of what I like about it, so, that’s cool, but it’s probably not for everyone.” It’s actually one reason why I’m kinda OK with CC not being as popular as some of its contemporaries because...some of the anti-shipper stuff I’ve seen online...oh boy.

So...I guess in conclusion, I think there’s stuff there in the manga to build up the relationship a little bit, but a lot of it is from Rosette’s POV and most of it is kind of subtle. I wouldn’t be surprised if Moriyama had wanted to flesh it out more obviously in the manga but the second half is stuffed full of wrapping up character arcs and questions and loose ends so it just didn’t really have the time to get as much focus. I really like the ship a lot, but a lot of it comes from analysis of the characters and how they relate to each other rather than it just being...canon. I’m okay with that, I’m the sort of person that will ship characters that never even meet just because I think the dynamic might be cool, but...I’m not surprised that not everyone would be into it, either.

And now I kinda want to make...a series of posts analyising the different relationships that are...either canon or teased in canon, see how much they’re built up, etc. Because this post makes me think a lot about Joshua/Azmaria and how confused I was by them apparently being married in the epilogue on my first read, and only seeing the hints Moriyama hinted about them possibly being a couple in the manga on subsequent rereads (and even then HO BOY it’s so subtle it makes Chrono and Rosette look really in your face aaaaaa). BUT I HAVE RAMBLED ENOUGH FOR THIS POST and, again, I need a reread. Maybe soon....!!!!

[lesbianlovelanguage]

YOUTUBER AU I’m such a fucking sucker for those. It can be anything you want really. Maybe they are friends doing a challenge or something and they end up kissing (or more ;)) or they could meet each other at like a creator even and take a pic together and everyone starts to ship them... :)

HI! Anon I am so sorry, life has been *general handwaving* a MESS. But, I’ve finally gotten most of my shit together and look! A fic! Finally!!! I hope you enjoy two ridiculous boys being ridiculous.

---

“You guys asked for it, and here it is. The explanation to Bendy and the Ink Machine! Now, I’ve watched a ton of playthroughs of this, especially The RatKing’s, as well as played through it myself, and I think I’ve got it.” 

Such a simple statement, it made it through both of the editors as well as Steve and Dustin themselves without raising any red flags. But as with everything, once it had been released on the internet it became fuel for fans to break apart and over analyze. 

The comments started pouring in, the standard mix of support and people trying to break apart his theory. But one comment in particular would stand out and begin something so much bigger than itself. 

Twenty minutes after Steve had pressed upload, someone with the username Random Hoe posted a comment saying Awe! A collab between you and Billy would be totes amazing!! While an innocent comment in itself, it began to pick up steam as people ranted and demanded for the two popular youtubers to interact more. It turned from video ideas to outright shipping within two hours, and only five hours after the video had been up, people began tagging Steve on Twitter with everything from edited screen grabs to fanart and video edits, all about Steve and Billy’s secret yet undying love for each other. 

Steve had almost quit Youtube as the fanbase for what had been dubbed “Stilly” steadily grew and became all the more ravenous. There were less and less comments and reactions to his theories, whether movie, video game, or even book related, and more and more comments about how he needed to do a collab with Billy ASAP, and how he’s queerbaiting, and how it’s okay to come out, it was 20Gayteen after all. He had tried to do damage control, but it only made things worse. 

And then someone showed Billy, and Steve not only wanted to quit Youtube, but also crawl under a rock. 

Billy’s only reaction to someone sending him a picture of Steve and Billy during a live stream was “Nice art, like the hair,” but Steve could have sworn his mouth twitched down in a grimace before Billy recovered his composure. 

But Dustin had convinced Steve to keep going, and with two months of no recognition or new content, the frenzy of Stilly shipping died down. It never disappeared, but no one sent anymore art to Billy and stopped tagging Steve in all of their posts. That had been in February. 

Vidcon was in June, and Stilly was the least of Steve’s worries. He’d been asked to host a panel on the new game show he and Dustin had begun hosting on Youtube TV about pop culture trivia, and then host a live episode with various Youtube guests as competitors. It promised to be relatively simple, a simple explanation of the origin and behind-the-scenes and a simple Q&A session followed by what he spent every Thursday doing for the past two months. And it was, him and Dustin breezing through the panel bouncing off of each other and the first round of Did You Know? You Don’t Say? flying by as the famed beauty guru aced almost every question. But once the second guest stepped on stage, Steve knew it was all going to go to shit. 

Because Billy Hargrove, The Rat King himself, swaggered out on the stage in flip flops and an Everlast crop top and flopped into the contestant’s chair with a smirk. Steve froze, mouth suddenly drier than a desert. 

Luckily, Dustin didn’t even stutter. “Ah! The next victim. Should we go easy on him?” He waggled his eyebrows as he asked the audience. The audience shouting brought Steve out of his daze, and with a shake of his head, he turned and spread his arms out wide. 

“Well then, let’s begin. So, Billy, Do you know what the rarest MnM color is?” 

The cocky smirk melted off of Billy’s face, replaced by one of thoughtful determination. He’s silent for only a moment before he looks up and says, “Brown, like your eyes, Pretty Boy.” Steve feels his pale skin flush with heat, but he coughs and tries to play it off.

“Quite the charmer there, Rat King. Luckily, your lines are actually true. One point! Let’s see it!” He calls out and then looks behind him to the television screen currently displaying the scoreboard. A large blocky 1 appears and the audience cheers. 

“Alrighty then,” Dustin says after the crowd dies down. “Next question. Billy, Do you know the original name of Istanbul?” Billy chuckles, and shakes his head.

“Easy. Constantinople.”

Dustin fake pouts and looks over to Billy. “None of that Rat King charm for me?” The audience laughs, and Billy chuckles before throwing a wink at Dustin.

“Not quite old enough to ride this ride, bud.” 

Dustin scoffs and shakes his head, making the curls bounce around wildly. “Whatever you say, old man. You did get it right by the way. Let me see another point!” Dustin mimics Steve and gestures towards the scoreboard which now shows a big, white 2. 

“Your turn, Pretty Boy. Give me something hard.”

“Alright. Let’s see.” Steve pretends to look over his notes before seeing the perfect question. “So, Billy, Do you know which two American states don’t observe daylight savings time?” Billy stares blankly at Steve. This was the final question in their lineup, but he had asked for a hard question. 

Luckily, Billy recovers quickly and clears his throat before giving another chuckle. “Damn, I know I said give me a hard one, but I wasn’t expecting that. I’m gonna go with Hawaii and Alaska?” Steve shakes his head and gives a small sigh. 

Dustin gives a little cheer, and then runs over to a table off to the side of the stage where they have a cue card that the contestant has to read off of if they lose. It was Dustin’s idea, the You don’t say? part of the title. It’s his favorite part of the show, because they get to see their contestants say some ridiculous things.

“Well, unfortunately, that was incorrect,” Steve announces over the booing audience. “And, following the rules, you now have to read whatever is on this card.” Dustin hands Billy the cue card with a wicked grin. 

Billy sighs and flips over the card. There’s a moment of silence as he reads over what the card says, and then he looks up at Steve and clears his throat.

“Would a Pretty Boy want to go out with me?” He says in a clear voice, gaze never leaving Steve’s. 

Suddenly too many things for Steve to process happen at once. He feels the heat return to his cheeks and his mouth dry out again, the audience goes wild, and a buzzer sounds, signaling that they were out of time for Did You Know? You Don’t Say? Dustin comes through and pushes a frozen Steve off-stage, where Billy is waiting in the wings. With the audience’s weighty gaze gone, the feeling returns to Steve all at once.

“What the hell man? What was that out there?” He hissed at Billy. The man simply shrugs and gives another one of his trademark smirks.

“Just giving the people what they want, Princess. Try to keep up.” And then he turns around, and walks away. Simple as that. Nothing to it. 

Steve wants to scream. Fortunately, he and Dustin have been friends for years, and he knows all of Steve’s tics by now. The stagehands shoo them from the wings, and he pulls Steve through one of the backdoors to outside the convention center. Somehow, he also procures a water bottle in the hustle, and hands it to Steve once they’re both sitting on the steps outside. Steve takes the water bottle gratefully and chugs half of it in one long gulp. He pulls it away and wipes at his face before sighing. He seems to deflate, like a balloon losing all of its helium at once, and Dustin puts an arm around him. It’s awkward because he’s shorter than Steve, but it’s still comforting nonetheless. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Dustin asks quietly.

“I- I’m so stupid. For just a second I thought it was real, but why would it be? What would someone like him see in someone like me?” Dustin lets out a huff before pulling away and turning towards Steve.

“Steve, buddy, pal o’ mine. You’re an idiot. If anything, he doesn’t deserve you. He’s a pompous ass for pulling a stunt like that. It’s bullshit.” 

“He could have anyone. Between his paycheck and his pecs, he’s one of Youtube’s hottest content creators.”

“Yeah, sure. But for the sake of alliteration, he also lacks personality. The guy’s a huge dick! And he proved it today. He knew that you wouldn’t shut him down and bitch him out on stage, so he thought it would be funny to pull that shit.”

“Yeah, he is kind of just a publicity-seeking asshole, you’re right,” Steve admits, feeling a little better, and a lot angrier. “You know what, Dusty-Poo? I’m gonna find him, and give him a piece of my mind.” He stands up, itching for a fight and knowing who to go find for one.

“Tha-that’s not exactly what I meant but sure! Go knock him down a peg.” Dustin stands up as well and follows Steve back onto the main showfloor. 

It takes about twenty minutes to find Billy amongst the crowd but Steve sees him, and locks in like a tiger stalking his prey. Or something cool like that. Thankfully, Steve doesn’t have to make a huge scene as he walks up to Billy and gets in his face. 

“You. Me. Conference Room 3. Now,” Steve says, poking a finger in the middle of Billy’s chest to emphasize his point. Billy chuckles, but still follows along as they walk into the empty conference room. Once they clear the doors and Steve hears them swing shut behind them, he turns to Billy.

“Explain. What the fuck was the point of that little,” he wavs his hand around, “stunt you pulled during the game show?” 

Billy raises an eyebrow. “Told you Pretty Boy. I gave the people what they wanted. 

“So that’s it? It was a publicity stunt?” 

“You tell me. You’re the one who started the whole thing,” Billy shoots back, still holding on to an air of nonchalance, but Steve can his patience waning.

“You- you mean the stuff from February? When I happened to mention you in one video? You think I meant for that shitstorm to start, for fun and publicity?” 

Billy only shrugs again.

“Okay. Nope. Again, I mentioned your channel one time, as a source. Gave credit where credit was due. I do it for all the channels I watch! I’ve mentioned Nancy’s channel like 8 times, and Jonathan’s too. Never had this shit started with them.”

“They’re married, Steve. Like super married. Of course it wouldn’t. We’re both single, queer youtubers. Of course shit’s gonna stop. Didn’t your agent or whoever look over your video?”

Steve huffs. “Oh yeah, let me just go hire an agent, cause I have such a need for someone to monitor my every move,” Steve snarked. Billy just looked at him like he had failed to add 2 and 3.

“You’re telling me you, part of one of the biggest channels on Youtube, don’t have an agent?” 

“We’re not one of the biggest channels, and we’ve never needed one! We’ve got our team of editors and assistants, no need for some agent.”

“Steve,” Billy says patiently, like he was explaining something to a child, “You have over 4 million subscribers. That’s a big channel.” 

“We’re still not one of the biggest channels, dipshit.”

“Oh, I'm the dipshit? I didn’t start a fucking fandom frenzy apparently by accident. Because I was smart and got a fucking agent.”

“You’re such an asshole.” 

“Whatever you say Princess.”

“Stop fucking calling me a princess!” Steve screams, voice booming in the silent conference room. “Why do you do that? Pretty Boy, Princess, Stevie? Just- just stop with the fucking nicknames. It’s not fair.” The second part of his outburst comes out as a whisper, sounding almost desperate. 

Billy was at a loss for words, but then again, he had always been more of a man of action. 

So he says nothing, only gives a seconds’ thought of what he was going to do, before lunging forward and doing it. 

Steve’s next words are muffled as Billy crashes their lips together with absolutely no finesse, teeth clacking. It probably constituted as the worst kiss Billy has ever had, but as he moves back, Steve grabs a fist full of blond locks and pulls him forward. Their 

second kiss is far better. By no means is it soft, but that was just par for the course with them wasn’t it? 

The kiss comes to a natural ending as they both pull back to breath, before Steve starts to giggle. 

“You really need to work on your pick-up lines, Rat King.”

A soft gasp from the doorway cuts off Billy’s retort, and they both turn to see a girl decked out in Youtube merch, including a jacket with the Upside Down Theories logo on it. She had dropped her backpack, and was open-mouthed gaping at the two. Her eyes are as wide as dinner plates as she frantically gathers up her backpack and shoots out of the conference room. 

“Chances that this blows up online by tomorrow?” Steve asks, turning to the blond next to him. 

“I’m betting in the next two hours, Pretty Boy,” Billy replies.

A wicked smirk creeps onto Steve’s lips as he shrugs and says, “Oops. What was that about getting an agent to help with this stuff?” 

---

Aside from this taking FOREVER, I hope you guys enjoy this! It was tons of fun to write.

tag team: @lostnoise @gideongrace @stevefuckingharrington @a-magey @catharrington @trashycatarcade @myboyfriendsteve @thesummerof84 @lightsupinthenorth @smashmouth-hargrove (lmk if you would like to be added/removed from the list!)

[sunriseverse]

rec listtttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

fair warning there’s a lot of different fandoms here—i have, uh. twenty-two pages of bookmarks. lots of newmann though, i promise. in no particular order, i give you a fic rec list

the future’s owned by you and me by kaiyen (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 7k, Not Rated)

Years after they stopped writing each other, Newt and Hermann run into each other on the steps of Cambridge University Library. Quite literally.

 Newt stares at him, expecting more. He doesn’t get any. “Come on, man, who are you? Maybe I’ve read something.”

 I doubt it, Hermann barely catches himself from saying. “Gottlieb. Hermann Gottlieb.”

 And Newt looks like he’s struck oil. “Oh my god,” he says, and something flickers behind his eyes, like there’s more than just recognition there, and before he can wonder any more about what it is, Newt blurts, “Oh my god!” and Hermann flinches and makes a face like a disgruntled frog.

What you can expect: emotions, opprotunities missed, and opprotunities taken. I absolutely adore this fic, though I might be biased by the fact that it has Newt as bipolar, and that’s something I always crave (more bipolar Newt fic when???).

Survival is for Nerds by Annabeelee (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 46k, Teen and Up)

It's three hundred and two years after humanity lost to the Kaiju and two hundred and twenty one since the Kaiju left. Not that it matters to Hermann. In relation to following a neurotic genetic experiment across whats left of the Northern American continent while dodging alien predators and hostile subgroups of humans, its possibly the least helpful thing to keep in mind.

What you can expect: scifi, tension, and a very intersting world. Post-apocalyptic, technically, but the way it’s written makes it almost hopeful. I love how the setting and writing makes it feel like a blend between victorian steampunk and futuristic in tone.

people can surprise you (or not) by pdameron (James Bond, James Bond/Q, 10k, Teen and Up)

“I’m not you, Bond. I don’t exactly have a technique for getting rich strangers to like me.”

“Just do your naive cute puppy thing, and they’ll be doting on you in no time,” Bond replies as he pulls up to the grand estate.

“My what?” Q asks incredulously. Bond doesn’t answer, simply giving him an indulgent smile. The fucker.

(or: 00q meets Gosford Park. Except not really.)

What you can expect: humour, murder, and some light espionage. Also, fake dating.

Infinite Distance by lachatblanche (X-Men, Erik Lensherr/Charles Xavier, 7k, Teen and Up)

When they encounter an unfamiliar and seemingly-abandoned ship in the middle of nowhere in space, Captain Charles Xavier of the spaceship Graymalkin heads out to investigate.

What you can expect: drama! Intruige! It’s set in space! I read this a while ago but I have memories of it being rather riveting despite the relatively short length.

Gertrude’s Goulash by lollzie (Gotham, Edward Nygma/Oswald Cobblepot, 7k, General Audiences)

Ed needs a new roommate. Oswald needs a room. Oswald may just be the most amazing person Ed has ever met. Shame he's not single. Cue wooing via the medium of cooking.

What you can expect: pining, misunderstandings, obliviousness, and a lot of goulash as a method of romancing.

Death Of The Author by happygolovely (Gotham, Edward Nygma/Oswald Cobblepot, 9k, Mature)

Edward Nygma was never intended to be anything more than a secondary character.

The Riddler demands otherwise.

What you can expect: a story within a story within a story. You think you have it figured out, and the next moment the carpet is yanked out from beneath you. Fairly dark, possibly disturbing, but my goodness if it’s not engaging.

we make our friends, we make our enemies by ORiley42 (Mission: Impossible, Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt, 52k, Teen and Up)

Benji finds out he has a new neighbor. This new neighbor happens to be off-the-charts hot. Hijinks, friendship, more-than-friendship, and secret agent drama ensue.

What you can expect: pining. There’s spy stuff going on too, and it eventually gets brought up, but my gods, the pining. Also, it’s fucking hilarious, and, at just over fifty thousand words, the perfect read when you’ve got an hour or two and you want something that’ll make you both laugh and cry.

Self-Sabotage by EmilyweepsforPilfrey (James Bond, James Bond/Q, 2k, Teen and Up)

For some reason, whenever he's alone with Bond, the most ridiculous things come out of Q's mouth.

Or 'the one where Q accidentally invents a girlfriend'.

What you can expect: Q being an utter idiot. It’s hilarious. Nice quick bite of humour if you fancy it.

The Long Con by harleygirl2648 (Hannibal, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, 19k, Teen and Up)

There are two kinds of cons: long and short. Short cons mean short-term gain, with smaller rewards, mostly just everything you have in your pocket at that moment. Long cons mean lots of time, effort, costumes, masks, props, sets, and other characters all looking to set up the downfall of the mark and take them for all that they've got.

Con Artist/Thieves AU: Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter are both interested in acquiring a Botticelli, but both of them are quite fond of each other's short games. For both of them, it's the deception and thrill of the game that's worth more than the payout.

And well, after all, aren't the easiest people to scam are those who think they are smart enough to not get scammed?

What you can expect: no cannibalism, a lot of banter, and, of course, con artistry. Quite delightful if I do say so myself.

deus ex machina by coloredink (Hannibal, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, 26k, Teen and Up)

"What the hell?" said Katz.  "Is that--"

"Yeah, I know, it's kinda flashy."  Will shut the car door behind him and patted his pockets for the little fob to lock the car.

"Isn't that Hannibal Lecter's car?"

The car beeped to indicate it was locked.  "Yeah, I guess so."  Will walked away, toward the field, Katz on his heels.  "I needed a new car."

"So you bought the cannibal car?"

-----

You asked for it: the one where Hannibal is a murderous self-driving car.

What you can expect: what it says on the tin. Quite funny, especially with the element of magical realism meaning Hanni-car is sentient. The Hannigram is more vaguely implied than an actual thing, owing, probably, to the fact that Hannibal is, well, a car.

adapt, evolve, become. by peupeugunn (Alex Rider, Gen, 3k, Not Rated)

“This is how you get out. You're slowly moving towards a desk job.” A pause, then, “you know, most people do it the other way around.” Alex chuckles softly and and shuffles towards him to lean against his shoulder, burrowing into the crook of his neck. Ben’s arm winds around him, shields him from the world, a solid weight on his back. “You're going to miss the adrenaline rushes, kid.” There's something almost sad in his voice. Alex doesn't want to understand why. Down that road lies madness. 

What you can expect: a character study, in a bit of a roundabout way.

A Sharp Dressed Man by Avelera (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 12k, Teen and Up)

Hermann's latest book needs an author photo. However, when he's given a makeover and a suit that actually fits for the photo shoot, his appearance is so transformed that Newt mistakes him for his (much hotter) older brother, Dietrich.

Hermann decides to play along.

What you can expect: gods this fic is so good. It’s the first Newmann fic I ever read, and I’ve reread it a good six times since 2018. I would say more, but I think the fic speaks for itself.

Gestures by Actually_Crowley (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 7k, Teen and Up)

Newton finds out what Hermann does with his rare free time, but the discovery leads him to believe that Hermann honestly and unequivocally hates him. 

What you can expect: the rituals are fucking intricate. I love this fic so so so much. And the eventual reveal/confession...scream.

Fate’s Horrifying Ways (also known as: CHRISTMAS GODZILLA) by linearoundmythoughts (Pacific Rim, Newton Geislzer/Hermann Gottlieb, 4k, Teen and Up)

Your name is Newton Geiszler and you’re going to have to break things off with your sort-of online boyfriend because you’re cheating on him. Sort of. [AKA the most dramatic summary of a humorous crackfic ever ok]

Originally written for the Pacrim Secret Santa back in 2014.

What you can expect: first off, it’s not second person, I promise. It is, though, really fucking funny, owing to the misunderstandings that ensue. There’s much pining, some angsting, and, of course, humour.

Letters From Berlin by spenshi (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 12k, Teen and Up)

Newton keeps in touch with his family when he's shipped off to the Shatterdome. Jacob and Illia send care packages to the K-Science Lab. 

What you can expect: Geiszler-family feels. A lot of them. Also, Newt and Hermann slowly growing closer to until they can finally admit they’re into each other.

Wishbone by cypress_tree (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 8k, Teen and Up)

Hermann doesn't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, so Newt invites him over for food, family, and a little bit of flirting.  Just a warm, fuzzy college AU to get you through the holidays. 

What you can expect: fluff, softness, general feel-good fic. It’s really good, and it has Geiszler-family feels. Reading this fic is a bit like drinking hot cocoa on a cold day.

next days by catbeans (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 5k, Teen and Up)

Hermann had never felt an ache quite like this one, and he had felt plenty. He had been running on adrenaline first, and then on the necessity to keep running, pain and bone-deep exhaustion falling to such a low priority that he couldn't even consider it one anymore, and then it had stopped.

(the 18 hour nap date these guys deserve)

What you can expect: Newt and Hermann cuddling. A lot. That’s really it, that’s the fic. It’s 100% indulgent and I love it for that.

Tebori by SkysongMA (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 7k, Not Rated)

Newt squints. "It's really not a sex thing? 'Cause I'm not opposed to it being a sex thing, mind you. I just don't want to come in the lab tomorrow and not get to throw things at your stupid face."

Hermann lets out an endless, long-suffering sigh. "It's really not a sex thing, Newton, honestly. We hate each other. That's worked out very well for us so far, and it will continue to work out for us in the future." He doesn't mention that they haven't always hated each other and that, at one point in their long relationship, showing up unannounced at Newton's door for the purpose of sexual favors would not have been so far out of the realm of possibility. Had been, in fact, one of those things Hermann had considered late at night long ago, when he couldn't go a week without a fat envelope in the mail full of Newt's ramblings.

But that was quite some time ago, and he means it. They each get more work done than they would ever have separately, even if only because they like to rub their progress in the other's face.

Anyway, admitting anything different would just give Newt ammunition

What you can expect: Newt gives Hermann a tattoo. There’s a lot of feels.

Newt Inherits a Bar by orphan (Pacific Rim and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 11k, Not Rated)

The scary part is the bar looks exactly like Newt remembers.

What you can expect: you’ll probably tear up a bit. This one hits pretty hard, honestly, but it’s so, so, so good.

First a Darling, Then a Marvel by isozyme (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 20k, Mature)

Newt runs a simulation given three constraints:

1: Newt wants to clone a kaiju 2: Hermann does not want Newt to clone a kaiju 3: Newt is going to clone a kaiju anyway

What you can expect: a lot of sciencing, a lot of feels, and two repressed idiots. There’s like, a paragraph or two of smut but it’s pretty clear when it’s going to happen so it’s easy to skip, which is great. The tl;dr of this fic is Newt clones some kaiju, Hermann reminds him how fucking horrible of an idea that is, and everything more or less works out in the end.

Tea and Sympathy by osprey_archer (Torchwood, Owen Harper/Ianto Jones, 13k, Teen and Up)

Soon after Jack's disappearance, Owen takes sick. Ianto goes to check on him.

What you can expect: crabby doctors, put-upon Welshmen, and a fuckton of emotions that everyone is trying to ignore. Not particularly happy, but then, when is Torchwood ever? It’s good while it lasts, though.

Pareidolia by hal_incandenza (Pacific Rim and The Black Tapes Podcast, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 102k, Mature)

It starts as a profile of paranormal investigator and professional skeptic Dr. Hermann Gottlieb. But it seems the further journalist Newt Geiszler delves into his cases, the more mysterious Dr. Gottlieb becomes. What is he hiding? What is he looking for? What is the truth? What is the difference between a journalist's idea of truth, and a scientist's?

Seeing is not believing. Believing is believing.

What you can expect: suspense, mystery, horror, pining, and apocalypse cults, with a dash of an ambiguous ending. I love this fic so much. I literally would stop what I was doing to read it when I got an alert that there was an update when it was still a work in progress.

Meet Me There Across The Water, And We’ll Start An Endless Storm by Skepticamoeba (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 35k, Teen and Up)

Hermann, an honorably discharged veteran has retired to continue working as a Keeper at a Lighthouse. It is perfectly solitary, and with little in the way for incidents. Newton is the sailor that washes up on the seashore after a summer storm.

[Late 19th century Lighthouse Keeper AU--or the one where Hermann was an aspiring artist whose dreams got a bit derailed, and Newt is the sailor that needs to learn to take his time with things.]

What you can expect: the pining........the intricate rituals............the denial.........*chef’s kiss*

and I couldn’t whisper when you needed it shouted by Lvslie (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 24k, Teen and Up)

He still smells like Newt; bears traces of his recent nearness. Clothes sleep-wrinkled from the proximity, from the way Newt’s ankle has during the night hooked around the calf of Hermann’s good leg and dragged his whole body seamlessly closer. Cheek half-flushed from the face unconsciously nuzzled his into the side of Hermann’s neck—evidence of his presence, fast asleep, as Hermann lay still and fretful for hours an end, staring at the ceiling and feeling sick with wanting.

[An early 20th century AU inspired loosely by Maurice and Age of Innocence.]

What you can expect: wistfulness, pining, repression, denial, lots of feelings. You’ll probably tear up. There’s an achingly happy ending for both of them. This is one of the fics I want a hard copy of so I can mark it up because, fuck, I love it so much.

leave the car running by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 1k, Teen and Up)

It is clear that, after everything, Newt doesn't like to be touched. 

What you can expect: touch starvation, mutual pining, Newt finally getting the human contact he deserves. I wrote my own version of this since it was initially a prompt, but quite frankly, I like Newton’s version better because it hits.

The Man Who Invented Sherlock Holmes by Calais_Reno (Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, 15k, Teen and Up)

John Watson, struggling young doctor, doomed to live an ordinary life, dreams of writing detective fiction. If he can just figure out his hero's name, the story will practically write itself.

What you can expect: Watson sort of, kind of, maybe invents a man into being. Oops. I haven’t read this one in a while but I remember it being quite a lot of fun. There’s elements of what I would say is probably magical realism, but it’s never quite clear.

Newton Isn’t Dead by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb and Vanessa Gottlieb/Karla Gottlieb, 32k, Mature)

Newton Geiszler is currently being possessed by a genocidal alien race known as the Precursors. They’ve taken over his body, leaving him a prisoner in his own mind. However, Newt has a totally awesome plan. He’s going to make a deal with them: let him prove that Earth is worth saving, and if he can’t do that, they can have his body. But convincing a hivemind full of mega-colonizers that one blue planet can be wonderful isn’t going to be easy. He’s going to need the help of his kind-of-ex Hermann, his best friend Vanessa, and one awesome Footloose remake to pull this off.

So, naturally, they go on a road trip.

What you can expect: pining, world-saving, eventual confessions and happy endings. I had the great honour of reading the chapters before they were published, and this fic is one of my top five favourite fics. There were multiple points where I yelled, both literally (quietly) and through text (slightly less quietly).

it takes time, but time moves slow by prettydizzeed (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 2k, Teen and Up)

Hermann conducts a cost-benefit analysis every class period of sitting in the back of the lecture hall versus walking down the stairs to the front. He wishes he had hard data for this, to get some actual statistics, and perhaps after a while, if he records his pain level and his ability to read the board and pay attention after each class, he will be able to predict the outcomes given either choice on a particular day.

Two curves, traveling in opposite directions, inversely proportional: pain goes up, concentration goes down. It’s comforting, somewhat, to make it a numbers game. Impersonal. Absolute. Not a tragedy, and not his doing, only his to interpret, a smudged scrawl across his left knee in an unfamiliar handwriting, his to analyze, to decrypt.

What you can expect: the fic may only be 2k, but it will leave you feeling like you were punched. It’s fantastic.

I Could Be Jew-ish For You by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 10k, Teen and Up)

When Hermann agrees to spend Chanukah with his family in an attempt to wheedle some desperately-needed funding out of his father, Newt insists that he shouldn’t face Lars alone and tags along as his “emotional support family rage distraction”. What they fail to realize are two things: 1. When Hermann brings Newt with him to the festivities, assumptions will be made, and 2. Newt may be half-Jewish, but he sure wasn’t raised as one. 

What to expect: fake dating fake dating fake dating— (can you tell I have a favourite trope?) In which Newt is Jew-ish, Hermann is both exasperated and pining, Lars is disliked, and we all get the Jewish romcom we deserve.

It Was Love At Second Sight by rednights (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 35k, Teen and Up)

Hermann receives the first letter when he is eighteen years old.

or: Kaiju don't attack the Earth, but Hermann and Newt still write letters, botch their first meeting, and fall in love, not necessarily in that order.

What you can expect: feels. So many fucking feels. There’s no kaiju but that doesn’t mean you won’t be on the edge of your seat.

hello my old heart by firebirdsuite (The Magnus Archives, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, 15k, Teen and Up)

Peter’s wrong, of course. When it’s all over, Martin does still want to tell Jon everything. It’s just—well, there’s a few things they need to work through first before they can get there.

Martin and Jon find each other again in Scotland.

What you can expect: tenderness, domesticity, and love. The perfect trifecta.

the truth about me (and the truth about me) by danimagus (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 11k, Teen and Up)

Newton suffers from a bout of memory loss and is told Hermann is his fiancé.

Hermann plays along, to his endless shame.

What you can expect: two words: fake dating. Gods, I love this fic, as Mary can attest from how I unceremoniously started screaming at her about it in her tumblr messages the day of/after it was published. This fic is great because it subverts the trope a bit, and thus avoids issues of consent that may otherwise have occured.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by thekaidonovskys (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 13k, General Audiences)

“Your eyes. Your expression. Your smile. I’ve worked with you for ten years, Hermann, and words have never been our primary method of communication.” 

What you can expect: to be knocked the fuck out emotionally. This one hits pretty hard, and that’s what makes it so good.

Transducer by hal_incandenza (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 85k, Teen and Up)

“I need you to hide something for me.”

“Oh, excellent. Of course, Newton, please allow me to jeopardize my career. And yours as well. My pleasure. Do go on.”

“Yeesh, relax,” said Newton. “It’s a personal thing, not a work thing.”

“As if there is any division between the two,” Hermann snapped.

If only you knew, Newt thought.

What you can expect: intruigue, alien tech, light espionage. This fic will have your little nerd heart beating double-time. It’s very very good.

A Really Private Person by astolat (Person of Interest, Harold Finch/John Reese, 18k, Mature)

The end of the world started on a Wednesday in March. 

What you can expect: badassery on Finch’s part. One of the few fics I have bookmarked for this fandom, and it’s bookmarked for good reason.

Party For Two by ProblemWithTrouble (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 18k, General Audiences)

 “My mother’s parents have a home in the Black Forest that has a guest house. They’ve often allowed me to stay there when I could spare the time.” Hermann looked distant as if he were remembering something; the warmth of a fire and a nice book and the smell of freshly made tea. “It will be quiet, and possibly too boring for you-”

 “It won’t be. I could use some quiet after the decade we’ve had. I could actually compile my research. And sleep. It sounds amazing.”

After the world doesn't end Newt and Hermann take a vacation together to live in a cabin and finally relax, as friends. Cue the pining, the longing, and the living together as best friends.

What you can expect: a fic that will wrap you up like a warm blanket. Mutual pining, vacationing together in a cabin, lots of feels—what more can you want?

Dream Drifting by MooseLane (Pacific Rim and Inception, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 5k, General Audiences)

"You're running an extraction on that spastic PPDC biologist, is what I hear." Chau fixes him with a side-eye. "I know I wouldn't want to go poking around in that little bastard's head."

(There are not enough Inception x Pacific Rim crossover fics, so I decided to change that.)

What you can expect: Inception meets Pacific Rim. There’s no other way to say it, really.

I’ve Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy In New York) by gyzym (Inception, Arthur/Eames, 19k, Teen and Up)

Arthur's a corporate lawyer, Eames owns the coffee shop across the street, and all good love stories start with a quadruple shot latte. 

What to expect: Arthur is stressed, Eames runs a coffee shop, and, through the power of friendship and a lot of stress-baking, everything works out happily for our intrepid protagonist.

Kalimat/كلمات  by rainbowagnes (The Old Guard, Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicolò di Genova, 3k, Teen and Up)

Yusuf translates medical texts for Niccolò from Greek and Persian into Arabic, and Niccolò spots the substratum of the ideas of the classical authors that he had once believed the basis of his own civilisation that he would go to the sword to defend, translated and passed down and sewn into a no longer foreign script. There are words Yusuf does not know how to translate. They will never, ever know all of the words. The prospect is thrilling. --- It takes Niccolò lifetimes to learn Arabic. 

What you can expect: if you, like me, are, especially natively, multilingual, this might hit the sweet spot of Language Feels. It did for me. Also, Joe calling Nicky hayati? Yeah.

i never liked that ending either by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 15k, Mature)

You want a better story. Who wouldn’t?    - Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out

Once upon a time Dr. Flick Tucker, K-Sci head of Biology, fought a bunch of highly scientific dragons to save the world. Then, they took over her life. It didn’t end well.

Once upon our time Dr. Newt Geiszler, marine biologist, sci-fi aficionado, and accidental discoverer of dimensional travel, got a chance to take her place. He has a couple of ideas.

In which Uprising is still a bad movie, musings on the nature of choice and personal autonomy are made, and somewhere, probably, a coin is showing heads every time.

What you can expect: everything’s fine this is a perfectly normal fic come here i want to cause you as much emotional damage as I can

Not Allowed by acedott (BBC Merlin, Gwen/Morgana, 1k, General Audiences)

Gwen has been dealing with self-imposed touch starvation since she was a child. Morgana sets out to challenge this. 

What you can expect: gays. Pining. Touch starvation. Need I say more?

Rocky Horror Pancake Show by ChuckleVoodoos (Daredevil, Matt Murdock/Franklin “Foggy” Nelson, 19k, Teen and Up)

Foggy falls asleep at exactly 12:00 AM, and he’s making a wish. He wakes up at 12:00 AM too—twenty-four hours before he fell asleep.

"Let's do the time warp again!"

What you can expect: Ground-hog Day style time-loop, lots of fluff, and a happy ending.

Ain’t No Nancy Kerrigan by cleverqueen (DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, Leonard Snart/Mick Rory, 13k, Teen and Up)

It's 1994, and young Lisa Snart's jumps aren't strong enough for an Olympic singles skater. Thankfully, her older brother has an athletic friend who can match her in pairs.

Mick Rory is hopelessly in love with Leonard Snart, though he'd never say anything about it, so he jumps at a chance to do Len's little sister a favor. If he's patient and works hard, maybe he'll even get to skate with her older brother.

What you can expect: pining, ice-skating, and general goodness. It’s fun, it’s funny, and it has a happy ending.

[topconfessions]

What do you think of bigbang5(with seungri) VS. bigbang4(no seungri) drama? their's a lot of drama between this situation.

I hate that we are even at 4 now. I remember the “until whenever days” and the sea of gold light stick crowns but...thinking back on that quote, it is very empty. That just sets uncertainty in. and yes I KNOW it’s crazy! I’ve seen lots of folks condeming GD himself and anyone who isn’t outright denouncing seungri. I mean, are we suppose to like wish seungri ill will? throw himself out of a window? exile and never be heard from again? Is GD suppose to kill all those memories and the bond they had over the years cause of this?

surely what seungri participated in was horrible and this is a heavy crime, a hefty act that needs a lot of personal growth and atonement to forgive. But idk. this is why I feel like social media is a double edge sword for idols and it needs to be kept clean sometimes.

Unless bigbang surprisingly comes back as 5 via an interview, livestream, a personal photo or something else where a very honest

statement is made with sincerity....it’s pointless to even share those intimate feelings of OT5. I’m torn about it cause I commend GD’s loyalty but it’s something that should remain to himself on the other end. ALSO:

I’m just slightly irritated and confused by how it’s all OT5 love at least from perspective and there is even a debate amongst fans....when bigbang themselves always threw massive shade at seungri. it was normalized and even see as positive in some twisted way like it was a sarcastic teasing brotherly thing but I find it highly rude, disrespectful and fucking petty from a professional standpoint and personal one. All that shade did highly foreshadow seungri getting into shit and BB kinda dropping the major bomb that they know seungri is trash is both a warning to everyone yet it’s uncouth and childish. Either take a risk and legitimately ask Seungri to leave the group / tell us exactly why he is a shit person or keep your mouths shut and promote without all the shade. They were really edging on 5th harmony american group teas with that. It’s not everyday past or present you see a korean music group go at each other like that especially mostly at 1 member.

Seungri scandal does not replace the fact each member maybe minus daesung (cause he’s so private he makes it hard to speculate) to me, seemed to use seungri as a scapegoat for preventive measures aka projecting most of his messy qualities onto the audience so whatever they are messy at isn’t the focal point during interviews. this boils down to “separate the artist from the music” aka “love the craft not the artist”. seungri still has stans and fans who really go to bat for him saying there isn’t anything tangible there that he explicitly did something, but it’s still a mess either way.   

my ultimate opinion on this: BB should have disbanded after MADE or have flower road be their last song and close it at that.

[pebblysand]

[SEPTEMBER ‘21] - THE LIFE/WRITING UPDATE NO ONE ASKED FOR (AND SOME QUICK LINKS)

well, hello hello, welcome, it is september first and hogwarts is back in session, haha! where’s your letter, did you get it? i hope so!

in true gryffindor fashion, i’m a summer person. i like parties, the beach and hot weather, so i’m currently working hard, trying to delay the inevitable return of autumn and the dreaded back-to-school mood by staying in sunny southern france for a few more days. i’ll be back in dublin on saturday where, as per usual, rain has been scheduled to occur upon my return lol.

Anyway, before diving into more life/writing updates, here are some quick links to different blog pages you might not see on mobile :

to read my fics [updated]

to read my original work

fic recs

to read my tumblr rants about stuff

[NOTE: i am currently not accepting prompts. i already have a backlog, folks.]

Castles (chap 9) ETA: optimistic? 19 September. realistic? october.

links extended a/n-s: chapter v ; chapter vi & vii ; chapter viii

[more life/writing updates under the cut]

what i’m reading:

i’m actually quite happy with my book reading this month. i read a friend’s short-ish (27k) story, as well as two full books, and started a third. i wanted my holidays to be a time of catching up with missed reading opportunities, and it definitely was.

first, i read three rooms by jo hamya. i picked this one up because it was recommended by my bookshop, was written by a BAME author, marketed as a ‘millenial’ literary fiction novel which i’m always a sucker for, and the cover looked intriguing. the story is that of an unnamed narrator in her early/mid-twenties, navigating the end of her masters degree and her first job in london. to be honest, as i previously said in another post, i don’t particularly fancy myself as a book critic so i don’t really like to say negative things about the books i read. as an author, i know how hard things can hurt when people are talking about your writing sort-of behind your back and i’m always paranoid that the author might one day see what i’ve written, lol. this being said, what i will say about this book is that while not bad, it wasn’t really a fit for me. the writing is very good, crisp and quick just the way i like it (though if you get irritated by the current trend of not using quotation marks for dialogue, you might get irritated by this), but i just found it hard to relate to the characters. i think you will like this if you like books that are more about their setting and their world rather than plot or character. the author is really good at describing current britain, life in london, the book is brilliant at describing the millennial ‘world’ of social media, politics, etc. but its main character seems to just aimlessly float through her life without any sense of self or purpose, which i personally found very frustrating. the book addresses issues of class, poverty, temp contracts, housing prices, discrimination but it feels very much like a matter-of-fact statement rather than an actual argument to change things. the other characters are mildly more purposeful but very single-purpose and while the novel is interesting but it didn’t really make me feel anything beyond an intense desire to grab the narrator by the shoulders and scream: do something! three stars.

then, i read incendiary by chris cleave. full review here. this book is just unreal and the best fiction i’ve read in close to a year. if i could give ten stars i would.

i’ve now started an american marriage by tayari jones. unless you’ve been living under a rock, this has probably been recommended to you a billion times already, but what can i say, i’m always late lol. i’m only about 100 pages in but seems promising.

in terms of fanfic, i honestly haven’t read much bar this one fantastic spooks au of which i really wish there was more of. i have trolled all of livejournal and dreamwidth to find the rest and came up empty. tragic.

what i’m writing:

funny how the girl on a writing break still managed to put out circ. 9,000 words in a month, lol. granted, pick me choose me love me was written in july, but still.

this being said, i do feel like i took time off and i do feel way better than i did back in july. looking back, i was exhausted and burnt out and felt like i was mostly writing to fulfill people’s expectations, rather than to make me happy. i’m now feeling much more confident with my words. the story that i did write this month was a self-indulgent bit of fun because it was written for a fandom no one cares about, and rather liberating, if i’m honest. i think i needed to write something for me and my audience of three again, and it was great. i genuinely love that story. i do think that if you want to give it a try, it might be one of those that can be read without having watched the show in question because it’s about a side character so a lot of what’s in there is original rather than show-related. if you do want to read it, it’s here: listening to that angel choir.

in terms of upcoming projects, i’m happy to announce that i’m actually excited to get back to castles, which is exactly what i wanted this break to achieve. i’m waiting until i get back to dublin to get back to work but i’m ready to dive back in and honestly can’t wait. as i said above the cut, i would love to put it on the 19th September but i’m not sure that i’ll manage to whip out next chapter this quickly. it’s not unheard of, so we shall see. also, castles is turning a year old on 16 sep, which is absolutely fucking insane. i certainly did not think it would be this massive of a project when i undertook it, lol. the numbers on it both in terms of wordcount and appreciation/hits give me vertigo so i try not to look at them but honestly, i can’t thank you all enough. i know i always say this but i come from very small audiences and fandoms and the amount of love i’ve been getting this past year thanks to all of you has meant the world. thank you.

in terms of one shots, i’ll be mostly focusing on castles this month, so i probably won’t write anything else. this being said, for those of your on tumblr, just be aware that you might see me repost some of the tumblr ficlets that i posted on tumblr these past few months on ao3 soon-ish. i initially decided to keep them on tumblr alone because they were too short but i’ve been having anxiety about tumblr collapsing and these things disappearing into the ether. so, don’t be alarmed, they should be the same, just reposted.

what i’m doing:

honestly, this month has been amazing, especially the past three weeks. i’ve been able to relax, see family & friends, went hiking, had my birthday, hired a boat - it’s been fab. as alluded to before, i’ve also been having fun rewatching spooks, which is definitely a series worth watching, even ten years after it ended. i find it even more fascinating in light of what is going on in afghanistan at the moment, and of course the presence in the show of rupert penry-jones whom i think every straight woman with a pulse fancies, is an added bonus.

anyway, i hope you’re all doing well. see you next month for pumpkin spice lattes (yeah, look, i’m a basic white girl) and the beginning of my seasonal depression.

lots of love,

pebblysand.

[ugly-anastasia]

Not Ready to Make Nice | Sinnie + Tonee

Annie takes Simba up on an invitation that he really didn’t offer her, and some other guests overhear...

@simba-bonfamille-lyons @inperfection-ashlee @foreverydinger

Date: 19 July 2021 TW: A brief (not graphic) mention of murder

ANNIE:

So... there had been a lot more behind that "Wow! Yum!" on Twitter. Honestly, Annie wasn't sure she was even supposed to be engaging with Simba. For, like, legal reasons or whatever. But she was kind of pissed at Mummy anyway for getting herself in enough trouble that she couldn't give Annie more financial help, and she also didn't really care about whatever shit had gone down between Mummy and Simba. Simba was popular and well-liked in town. Annie needed to be on his good side.

So she called the babysitter to look after the kids for an hour (their cuteness could be useful, but the risk factor of them completely trashing Simba's house was too high), stopped by the Moon Market and picked up a prepackaged steak and kidney pie, transferred it to a cute little ceramic dish, and drove over to the address she had managed to wrestle out of an old classmate. Easy.

"Hiya!" Annie said in a chipper, and very American, voice. "I was in the neighborhood and I just couldn't resist. That food on Twitter looked so yummy."

SIMBA

Simba had been cooking all day. Well, most of the day. He'd taken a trip this morning to the local mosque in NTO to deliver meat that he'd bought from the butcher's and to attend prayer with his mum. But, after that, it had been an all day cooking affair. It was holidays like these that he missed Nala most, but he was grateful for all the friends and family he did have.

He was looking forward to seeing everyone later. It was always nice how many people showed up to his Eid gatherings. The show of support from the community was always bolstering. Especially right now, with the Blackwells hanging over his head.

At first, Simba didn't recognize the voice. Or the face. (Was there something off about it? Or had it just been too long?) He had a smile on his face as he turned from chatting with Ashlee, reaching out to take the dish so that he could put it with the rest of the food, but then he recognized who it was and he stopped dead.

"What are you doing here Anastasia?"

TONY

Did Tony celebrate Eid? No. Did Tony like food, especially free food? Yes. Plus maybe he could get in Ashlee's good graces again if he just made himself available to her. It was hard seeing the lack of recognition there in her eyes but there was little he could do about it aside from just... replace it with new memories.

So he sat in Simba's house with a plate of food, on his way to make conversation with Ashlee and Simba, when he heard the voice ring out into the room.

It couldn't be...? Anastasia fucking Tremaine?! What was she doing her?!

"Uh-oh," he mumbled, glancing Ashlee's way.

ASHLEE

Ashlee both kind of hated the open invitation to the house and enjoyed it? She didn't like to seem like she enjoyed it. A lot of the time if people did come it was people she didn't know or didn't like and after socializing and eating for a bit she'd escape either to her room or out with the girls.

She was getting used to it more and more though.

At least until Simba froze in his tracks and the half smile she had on dropped as well. Bristling quickly. She didn't know who this person was but there was very few people that made Simba react like that. Infact she wasn't that sure if she had even since him not interact with a smile for someone that showed up.

And she didn't like being confused.

"Uh-oh what?" Ashlee questioned hearing the kid that walked up to them. What did he know that she didn't?

ANNIE

Great. She had an audience. One thing never changed about Swynlake: nobody could mind their own business. Ever.

But having an audience meant that everyone could see how goddamn gracefully she would handle this. Including the random-ass teenagers watching from the sidelines. Anastasia glanced at them uneasily before she put on her biggest, sweetest smile for Simba.

"Aww, you don't have to be so formal! I actually go by Annie now. Way easier to say." She winked. "But to answer your question, I had a bit of a disaster in my personal life, dunno if you've heard, and I thought I really ought to come back to my roots. Leave the big city, come back to this cute little town and reconnect with the people who made me who I am, you know? I'm so glad you threw this little party. I'd love to catch up."

Maybe those random kids could help her. "Hey there!" she said, waving. "Y'all know Simba?"

SIMBA

Simba's nostrils flared slightly and he had the horrible, irrational instinct to step in front of Ashlee and keep her away from "Annie."

It wasn't, necessarily, fair to Annie. After all, she hadn't even been in town. Already left for college by the time her mother helped cover up his father's death, but her proximity to Rodmilla Tremaine made him uneasy. He had trouble trusting lawyers these days, but he was pretty sure everything that he'd done with InterPride was wrapped up in a neat little bow.

His arrangement with Rodmilla was much less official. He would not be surprised if she'd sent her daughter to try and make amends. To soften him for her own return.

Honestly, he had no idea how much Annie even knew. That didn't make him feel any more hospitable.

"It's not a 'little party', it's Eid. A religious holiday and celebration," Simba bit out. "And this is Ashlee Tomassian, my--" Simba actually wasn't sure what to call her, considering everyone in town already knew her situation "--daughter. And her friend."

TONY

Eesh, the whole room was starting to feel tense. Tony remembered Annie from secondary and, if his memory served, she was not exactly the best companion to most of the school. It had made for some good stories but Tony wasn't sure those were the types of stories that belonged in Simba's adult home.

Now her little American lilt and smile was... unnerving. He glanced at Simba's face and then Ashlee's. Yeah, definitely not a good situation in front of them.

"She's actually a--" Tony stopped his explanation that she was a native to Swynlake both because she answered that herself and then when she turned her sights on the pair of teens.

Y'all know Simba?

Tony grimaced at the question. "Uh... Yeah.. He, uh, taught at the secondary school for a little bit and he's... um... Simba? How do you not--"

Just shut up, Tony.

ASHLEE

There were so many things Ashlee wanted to comment on.

A little party - she didn't celebrate Eid but she knew better than to call it a little party. Especially when she knew how important this was to Simba. That's after all why she was here and why she tried to learn about it.

The causality of 'y'all know Simba' Of course Ashlee knew Simba, she was insulted for a moment this woman didn't even know who she was.  How did anyone in this town not know Simba.

Her lackadaisical mannerism. For someone who put Simba on guard, that was what bothered her the most.

And not that Ashlee ever slouched but she stood taller, a cat ready to hiss. That familiar defensiveness that caused her to lash out, to fight (with words at least).

But just for a moment Ashlee's defenses fell glancing up at Simba's introduction of her. It wasn't a word they ever used but she wasn't mad at it. She softened just for a moment. But then it was back up again because who was she truly? To walk in like this.

"I don't think there's anyone in this house that doesn't know Simba." Ashlee agreed glancing at the guy trying to place his name. He was her friend as per Simba and she would keep face and go with it better to not disagree with the person you were fighting with.

ANNIE

Anastasia could sense the hostility. She wasn't oblivious. Even the more subtle callout coming from the kids. Well, fine, she thought. she would just have to kill them with kindness. After all, what did a couple of uni kids know about her?

Unless Simba talked about her. Jeez, could that be possible?

High road, Annie, she told herself.

"Riiiight, my b! Who doesn't know Simba?" she laughed, maybe a little too loudly. "Good to know you run this town just as much as ever. A regular Mr. Mayor, aren't you?" Anastasia looked around at the rest of the crew. "Allllrighty then, are we gonna hover in doorways like vampires at a cookout or should we get this party started?"

SIMBA

Simba had glanced at Ashlee, feeling weird because they'd never really discussed that and it was kind of a big thing and he didn't want her to think he was trying to replace or erase anyone in her life. It was just--he cared about her as more than a ward or a responsibility. It wasn't as easy as it was with Kiara, who was and always would be his cousin. Though their relationship was obviously more complicated that.

Yallah, this was not what he needed to be thinking about right now.

Instead, he watched this Tremaine try to take a step further into his house and he felt himself bristle.

"I think it's best if you left, Annie," Simba told her firmly, though he kept his voice low. He didn't want to make a scene, but he also did not want a Tremaine in his house. Simba had spent the last four years trying to learn forgiveness and finding it almost impossible. Not that he blamed Annie, but he had no idea what her motivations were and he would not take any risks.

TONY

Tony wondered if Anastasia had ever learned how to read a room because her current behavior pointed to no, not really.

Simba was clearly tense, a sight that wasn't common here in Swynlake, and Tony couldn't help the messy teen energy inside him that was a little intrigued by that.

What? No one ever said Tony was mature!

"Hey, Ashlee, isn't this holiday about community? I, uh, don't know if bringing bad energy in here is a good idea, do you?"

ASHLEE

Okay maybe this kid was okay, she really did need to figure out who the hell he was? Maybe in Nemo's grade? Maybe a new transfer? That was something to worry about later.

Smirking Ashlee grinned at him and then up at Annie "I wouldn't think so. I'm already feeling the mood drop in general. Instead of coming in it might be better to head out and get fresh air. Plus if *My Dad *doesn't think it's a good idea for you to stay I imagine a lot of people in here might think the same. Don't you?" She really wished she had his name at the moment that would be helpful.

Ashlee also probably didn't need to throw that title in there but it worked.  And Ashlee knew the power of words and there was nothing that this woman could say that would change her mind as long as Simba wanted her out of the house.

ANNIE

Anastasia looked from Simba to his two little minions and back to Simba. Well. She had at least expected him to be polite, maybe a little passive-aggressive. So the comments caught her off guard, and for a moment, Anastasia's jaw dropped.

But just as quickly, she put on that same sugary smile as ever.

"I'm not gonna lie, I'm mighty hurt. I guess I got a little too used to southern hospitality," she said, then giggled in that tinkling tone of hers. "Y'all enjoy the pie, alright?"

SIMBA

Simba, honestly, wished that Ashlee and her friend weren't here. If they weren't, he could've handled this a lot more firmly. Told Annie exactly why she wasn't welcome. Made it clear that if she approached his husband or Ashlee or any one else in his family, or went snooping around InterPride, he would make it his business that she left Swynlake as soon as possible.

Also, he didn't need kids sticking up for him and getting caught in the crossfire. He remembered how cruel and cutting all the Tremaines could be with their sharp tongues. Simba had underestimated them for petty once before. He wasn't going to do it again.

This also meant that her smile caught him off guard, some of his anger deflating. He hated when people messed around with people like this. It made him feel like he'd overreacted, or was making things up.

Also, he was pissed that he couldn't enjoy the fact someone had called him Dad and meant it. (Kiara used to do it, but mostly as a joke.)

His eyes stayed hard. "I'm sorry you feel that way," he said, his voice betraying that he didn't feel that sorry at all. "Ashlee, go put the pie on the table, please. I'll escort Annie out."

TONY

Tony couldn't stop his own grin from spreading at Ashlee's quick and sharp tongue coming out. It felt like forever since something like this had happened.

This wasn't to take away from the clearly strong familial moment that was happening with the pressure of this situation but Tony felt like it was probably better not to focus on that given... not his circus not his monkeys, you know?

"Someone was real quick to forget how Swynlake works," Tony chuckled at Annie's confession of feeling slighted. "I can help you with that, Ashlee."

ASHLEE

Poor thing. Not.

"Someone was real quick to forget they are not entitled to someone's forgiveness or hospitality." Ashlee agreed daring Annie to say something about it for just the second Ashlee had left in this conversation while she took the dish from Simba. If only they could just toss the food but that wasn't what Eid was about. So fine she would put it on the table.  "Bye bye Annie."

Nodding her head for the guy to follow with her.

With just enough distance. "Sorry what's your name again?

ANNIE

This was going to be a lot harder than Anastasia had thought. Maybe she had jumped in too quickly. Maybe she should have started out small, rather than chasing down the lion's den (heh) from the start. Anastasia didn't get it. Should she not have made the vampire joke? These Gen Z kids were so particular about that stuff nowadays...

Or maybe it was just that they trusted Simba.

She waited for the kids to leave before narrowing her eyes at Simba. "Simba Lyons, I have been nothing but pleasant and kind to you," she said simply. She wasn't going to beg for him to let him stay. Anastasia had a little bit of pride left. But she felt the need to point that out. "I'll be going soon, I promise, but we really can't let bygones be bygones?"

TONY

Tony snickered as he stood from his seat. Honestly, he'd missed being a petty teen sometimes. Stretching his Mean Kid Energy for just this moment felt refreshing.

When was the last time he'd gotten in a fight? Had it been Phineas? Damn, that had been awhile.

"Later, Annie!" He called over his shoulder as he fell into step behind Ashlee. His heart gave a pang at the question despite knowing it was coming.

"Tony, Tony Rydinger. I'm an upper sixth form."

ASHLEE

That made sense and why Ashlee didn't really recognize him. She wouldn't if she was about two years ahead of him.

"Ashlee Tommassian. Though it sounds like you already knew that. Thanks for jumping in and helping there. I don't really know the story but if she pissed off Simba, she deserves whatever she's getting." Ashlee mused setting the dish on the table among the many many other dishes. "Did you want to grab something or maybe try to listen in some more?"

SIMBA

"It's Bonfamille-Lyons now," Simba corrected her swiftly.

He kept his body blocking her from being able to walk off the dias. Simba didn't often use his larger frame to intimidate. He knew that he was tall and broad and that he could easily look threatening to others. (Not to mention how some people might just assume it based on the color of his skin.) He always walked tall and proud, but his movements were always loose and easy.

They weren't now. He was drawn up to his full height, shoulders straight and lowered. His arms were crossed over his chest.

"And no, we can't. I would prefer if we just stayed out of each other's way, if you are planning on being in town for an extended period of time. And stay away from Ashlee and my husband. And especially my mother. She doesn't need any reminders about what your mother did." He kept his voice low, away from prying ears.

He didn't do this for Anastasia either, but because he didn't want everything that had happened dragged back up. His failures, how blind he had been, how easily manipulated.

TONY

"Right, uh, you're friends with Nemo and Ian. Ian's my roommate." He explained swiftly. It was the easiest way to wave away the odd fact he knew about her. He had connections.

"It's nice to actually meet you, though. They both have a lot of nice things to say about you." He glanced at the food on the table then shook his head. "I mean, I definitely wanna find out what Simba and Annie are doing out there. She's gonna be a menace I'm sure!"

ASHLEE

Ashlee nodded at the names, for a moment she actually felt bad she didn't know him or even of him, after all if he knew Nemo and Ian, the latter enough to live with him. Then again Ian was friends with Eilonwy and Ashlee was still struggling on her insistence of being friends. It made her bristle feeling like Eilonwy wanted something more. That her kindness was fake.

At least Tony had a little mean streak in him.

"They better or they would get an earful from me for spreading lies." Ashlee grinned. "If we want to be sneaky it's best to head around the back and just listen from the side of the house."

ANNIE

Anastasia couldn't keep this up much longer. It was so much easier to fight with people online like this, where they couldn't see your face, or to fight with the other moms at playgroup back in Nashville. At least everyone had the sense to pretend like they were being nice while, underneath, they wanted to rip you apart.

But there was only so much of Simba's direct approach that Anastasia could take.

Her voice dropped a few octaves, and her old accent crept in slightly as the facade dropped. "You leave my mother out of this. You and your little company already succeeded in ruining her life, so you don't need to go ruining mine, too by turning this town against me." Anastasia stuck her chin in the air stubbornly, her expression shifting to an ugly scowl. "Fine, though, I'll stay out of your way. But I would appreciate if you would have the decency not to humiliate me in front of the children. Seeing as I'm not going anywhere. I live here now, and I'm going to get my life back. You're not getting in the way of that.”

TONY

Tony nodded, glad to follow Ashlee's lead. It was nice not to be the one in charge of a situation. He'd been befriending way too many introverts as of late. Spending time with Ashlee and her friends was a whole different experience to what he was dealing with here.

"Oh Ian's anything but untruthful," Tony chuckled. "Perfect. You show me the way and I'll keep quiet. I feel like this town is so boring sometimes for drama."

ASHLEE

It had been a long time since Ashlee had snuck around. Unlike her old home Simba and Berlioz gave her the freedom she needed as long as she was vocal with them and she was, never feeling the need to not be. Anything she asked or brought up they listened. Even if it was far inbetween. And she was still nervous to do so.

"You're not making the right type of friends if you're looking for drama. Secondary has probably gotten much duller as of late."

But that didn't mean she wasn't good at it. Quick and light on her feet and everyone was busy talking to really pay attention to two kids slipping out the back.

TONY

"You're telling me!" Tony sighed wistfully. "Honestly might need to stir some shit myself if I want to stay awake in school this year," Tony complained.

This was something he couldn't really complain to Ian about because his more soft-around-the-edges friend was not the type to understand this feeling.

He leaned close to the wall as they both headed to where they could snoop on the feuding adults in peace. He winked over at Ashlee conspiratorially.

SIMBA

Ah, there it was.

Simba didn't feel even a little bad, In fact, he was relieved that she was showing her true colors. It made all this so much easier for the both of them.

"I won't get in the way of it as long as I don't have any reason to," Simba told her. After all, he could recognize that Annie might have had nothing to do with everything. She had been young when Mufasa had died. Hardly even an adult. And it wasn't like Rodmilla to involve her precious daughters in her criminal dealings.

"But let me make one thing extremely clear: your mother ruined her own life when she knowingly covered up a murder, so don't blame me for her moral failure."

ASHLEE

Ashlee settled herself against the corner of the house, she didn't need to turn around to know Simba's voice though for a moment she did think she needed to double check he was the one talking.

She knowingly covered up a murder? Ashlee mouthed to Tony. What the fuck had actually happened, who covered up what and were they in jail was the important piece.

TONY

Tony's eyes widened at the words. Honestly he had some... guesses... but also this was Swynlake and shit happened all the time so trying to guess who was murdered seemed like rushing to conclusions.

He shrugged at Ashlee, just as confused and concerned about what could be happening.

ANNIE

Jeez. Well. If Simba was going to just put it out there like that, Anastasia wasn’t going to hold back either.

She didn’t like the word “murder.” It was so dramatic.

“She did what she had to do,” Anastasia said vaguely, because she wasn’t sure if people might overhear and wouldn’t that be the final disappointment, for Anastasia to land Mummy in jail. How fitting. And... Anastasia didn’t really know the details anyway. But corruption and scandal was part of the Tremaine family history, like any other core value. “You don’t know what it’s like to be her. Or me, for that matter. Life isn’t all sunshine and roses, and sometimes when an opportunity presents itself, you gotta take it. And I’m sorry people got hurt, but that’s... life.”

Not exactly the idealistic, cheery image Anastasia put forth online. But cynicism didn’t rake in the money or influence the way her optimistic go-getter attitude did.

ASHLEE

Ashlee actually felt like she was going to be sick. To speak so casually of murder, to chalk it up to that's life it reminded her too much of her own Dad. Who cared about who was hurt if it meant the end result was what you wanted.

And maybe that was hypocritical of her considering her own past and her part in what she had done with the girls but this was just frightening. But there was a difference, Ashlee at least liked to think there was a difference, she wasn't as bad at this woman. (Who sounded different? Was that in her head?)

SIMBA

Simba's hand clenched into a fist by his side. He felt his anger spike--a wild thing inside of him, so loud it was almost frightening. It made him want to reach for a drink. Thankfully, there wasn't any inside and he couldn't disappear from his own party.

Besides, he wasn't going to break his sobriety streak for a Tremaine.

Nor was he about to get in a physical altercation on his door step. Though, he wanted to. No doubt.

How could she--

That's life? People got hurt? His father had been murdered. Taken away from him and he had blamed himself for years because of Annie's mother. She had ruined his life just as much as Taka had.

"Get off my property," he snapped at her, his voice rising up enough that he was sure people through the open door behind them could hear it. He refused to shout, but it wasn't far off.

He had plenty of more choice words for Anastasia Tremaine, but it was a holy day and he had a family and friends and community to celebrate. Even if this conversation had put him in a black mood and he just wanted to go upstairs and lock himself in his room.

TONY

Tony felt anger flare in his own chest at Anastasia's words. He couldn't imagine anyone saying that that was just life. Excusing literal murder! He thought back on anything he knew of Anastasia or her family. In truth he had paid little attention to the girl in secondary and now he was seriously regretting it if he was missing this information.

This can't be happening, right? He mouthed to Ashlee. Tony couldn't help but feel a little frightened. If they were dealing with someone that unhinged was it wise to leave Simba alone with her? Was it wise to be eavesdropping on her?!

ANNIE

Anastasia knew Simba hated her family’s guts. But she only knew it in a vague sense. All the shit with Taka had gone down while she was back in Nashville, and it had only affected Anastasia in the sense that now Mummy couldn’t take the whole family on vacations to Nice and Aruba and Switzerland anymore because of her stupid new nonprofit job. The way Anastasia saw it, the details didn’t really matter, but the reality was that Simba had taken something from her that she believed she was entitled to.

But Anastasia wasn’t good in confrontations the way Drizella was. Anastasia’s style of fighting was subtler, quieter. If Drizella were here, maybe she would have a cutting line or a scary threat. All Anastasia had was her practiced ability to shut down her feelings.

She took a step back and stared at Simba, nodded, and then smiled. “Enjoy the party,” she said, the twang returning to her voice. “I’ll see y’all around.”

And with that, Anastasia turned on her heel and returned to her car, hoping Simba didn’t notice the slight tremble in her gait.

ASHLEE

Ashlee wished she didn't know, she wished she could have gone on believing this was some stupid petty drama, it was as simple as a 'my fam doesn't like this person so i don't like this person'. But this ran so much deeper than she could have thought.

Shaking her head Ashlee struggled to form words. I don't know but we should go. it was just go where? Simba would come in soon, Where was Berlioz, hopefully he could help Simba cause that was heavy and Ashlee was not the one with the ability to help. They could escape to her room? Yeah that was probably best. Grabbing Tony's hand she pulled him back toward the back door and swiveled up the stairs quickly. "What the hell was that????"

TONY

Oh his head was reeling at this whole experience. He blinked when Ashlee grabbed him but allowed the tug to lead him inside once again. He hadn't been to her room in Simba's before so it was somewhat of a jarring moment of him realizing this was a big deal.

"I don't know! I knew she was from Swynlake and her family had some beef with people but not that!" He admitted. "She was known as kind of a bitch but not a murder-excusing bitch!"

ASHLEE

Ashlee didn't even know what to say, she really wished they hadn't done that. It kind of gave her the creeps and it was way too close of a comparison to her Baba for her.

"We can't say anything. We don't know what the hell any of that meant or how it effects Simba." Tony better not open his mouth and spill unless they knew more.

TONY

Tony took a deep breath to try to steady himself. When he had said this year was going to be boring he hadn't considered finding out about literal murder. And now Ashlee was expecting him to keep this between them?!

"Jesus, yeah, I get it. What are we gonna do, though? Are we just, what, waiting to find out what's going on?" He shook his head. "You okay?"

ASHLEE

"Nothing, Whatever that was is old and dark and does not need to be touched by us." Maybe not even that old considering she was maybe Simba's age. But she knew they knew too much. Maybe she would find out from Simba at some point, or maybe not but she wasn't letting Tony in much. What she knew was that Simba was good and she trusted his judgement on whatever the hell that was. 

TONY

Tony frowned at Ashlee's words. It seemed like the sort of response that was, well, responsible and adult... and Tony, despite all of his efforts, wasn't really either of those things. He wanted to investigate, wanted to do something to get to the bottom of.

"I... guess so... I mean.. I s'ppose we're still... young." Don't think about how long you've been on Earth, Tony. "Jesus.."

ASHLEE

"It's not about being young, it's about getting involved in whoever covered a murder. I'm a performance major, you're a secondary kid. We're not equipped to handle that. And I already went through one shit storm involving the courts. I sure as hell don't want another. Not to mention Heresay, the fact we don't have the whole story and its not like we can just walk up and ask someone." Maybe she could, but she didn't think she had a right. "It's not like I believe Simba is part of a massive cover up." (Hopefully) "So it might already be dealt with, you know." 

TONY

Tony didn't like the response, didn't like the way he knew Ashlee was right. He took another steadying breath because, really, she was entirely correct. They were kids despite... every complicating part of Tony's life and curse.

"Yeah, right, of-of course.. Yeah, um, Simba's resourceful and-and powerful... If he had any way of settling this he would. We just gotta... trust the adults." Sure, that wasn't Tony's strong suit but he could try. "Are you okay, though? Like, is there.. anything I can... do for you?"

ASHLEE

Ashlee really hoped it was as simple as it was already taken care of. She really really did. Flopping down on her bed Ashlee sighed covering her eyes. No more spying for her. It wasn't worth it, if this was the outcome. Especially considering she didn't know if she could hid it on her face when she eventually faced Simba.

"It's fine I'm fine. we should just wait a few and head back down. Worse comes to worse they think we're making out or something up here." Which no but it was the lessor of a few evils right now.

TONY

"Gotcha..."

Tony sat down on the floor beside the bed so he wouldn't crowd her. This was ridiculous. Swynlake constantly churned out so much drama! He supposed he shouldn't be freaked out but it was.. jarring.. to see people he'd gone to school with involved in such heinous things.

"Well I would hope Simba has more faith in you than that," Tony laughed softly, a little forced. "But I can see where the concern comes."

ASHLEE

"Probably if only cause I've had a few dates with Michael since prom." And Ashlee was not the cheating kind or even had enough people she was interested in anyway.

Ashlee sighed looking up at her ceiling. Did she ask Simba or not was the question now.

[savnofilter]

no nuance november!

a/n: which is basically you have a bunch of opinions and dont explain any of em' and let your followers discuss them (much more suited for tiktok sjsnj). i'll be doing it since it compiles with many topics like fandom, racism, lgbtq+, politics and etc. i highly encourage people to do this simply because why not? feel free to send your own opinions n stuff, i wanna know what my followers think!!

disclaimer!! ⚠️ all of these are broad, not pin pointing certain people or situations. even though these are my opinions these were all in fun and have been collected over the years and will change as time goes on. nothing is sugar-coated so thread carefully. feel free to agree or disagree. :)

warning(s): mentions of racism, p*do micro aggression, fetishizing, toxicity, abuse, politics, labelling, mental health, cancelling, fandoms, ages.

key:

iswis = i said what i said, no explanation to that one.

whe = will happily explain.

stop sexualizing gay/m|m/yaoi relationships. it's not only demonizing to the males, it's also very fetishizing. (iswis)

most times /10 yall root for "feminine men" when you really mean white boys and fetishised asian men on social media. (whe)

bullying someone isnt educating. you either cant cope with the fact people have different opinions from you or you have a struggle with things either always never going your way or the opposite. (iswis)

straight people will never have a say in lgbtq+ issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

white people will never have a say in poc issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

poc will never have a say in black people issues. stop inserting yourself. (vice versa but im black and it happens more often to us lol) (iswis)

using the defense, "but black lives matter, right?" when one black person does something bad isnt facts, youre racist. (iswis)

fandom adults need to stop gatekeeping the target audience (demographics) to animes/shows. (iswis)

poc people can be racist. (whe)

even if a certain site was adult doesnt mean that every adult wants to see your porn. either keep it to yourself or tag properly. (iswis)

saying shit like, "im more xyz than you and im not even xyz" is not only disrespectful but disgusting. just because you believe in a popular opinion of a group does NOT suddenly make you a person in it, get over yourself. (iswis)

dont hate on people for the same things you have done at a young age. (ex: writing fanfic, seggs, etc) (iswis)

blaming a minor/someone mentally unstable for being abused is not only victim blaming, but it enables the notion that people who go those things that they wanted it. (iswis)

going off of that last point, if you do victim blame for situations and been in them yourself you either still havent coped with what you went through and still think it was your fault when it wasnt. (whe)

it's stupid people hate minors for being undeveloped when adults are the reason as to why people get traumas, abused and quite literally are destroying the world right now. (iswis)

gen z is white as fuck. (iswis)

early 2000s kids are equivalent to 90s kids who use to post, "only 90s kids under this" and post something that 2000-5 experienced. (iswis)

dear 2005+ kids, abusing harmful substances and having sex doesnt make you grown. stop it. (iswis)

adults, being able to post porn doesnt make you grown or mature, stop believing that it does. (iswis)

just because it's a coping mechanism doesnt mean it's healthy. (iswis)

avoiding conflict doesnt mean youre mature. if there is an active problem and you know ignoring it will only benefit you and not the actual problem at hand that is selfish. (iswis)

black women generate clout for everyone. when we're hated the person gets patted on the back, someone appreciates black girls they are praised, and people of many groups repeatedly steal from our culture. (iswis)

YES THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING BLACK AND AFRICAN AMERICAN. (whe)

if youre black you do not have to be democrat OR republican, there are many other parties. (whe)

i do not trust either parties, no minority should. (whe)

this 2020 election was not a win for poc people no matter who won. (iswis)

we do not decide whether or not what to do on columbus day. it is up to the natives themselves. (whe)

pointing out other countries (current) faults is not racist. although the issue can be misconstrued, if proper research is done it safe to say it's an educated observation or opinion. (whe)

privilege heavily varies; ex, americans are seen as privileged, while the people who live in it experience a disadvantage because of the societal standards. within the country itself. (whe)

americans, stop saying that america is the worst country and there are other countries who are suffering much worse than we are. yes sometimes it sucks but do not label it as the worst. (iswis + whe)

white people are privileged and will always be until we break the racist issues deep rooted in EVERY community. (iswis)

9/10 when marginalized groups like (women, lgbt) are mostly focused on white people and never address the poc counter parts. using the excuse "well idk much about that" is not good enough and just promotes pseudo-white supremecy. (iswis + whe)

do not use aave. (iswis)

aave is not gen z language, stop calling it that. (iswis)

gay men (white especially) use black women and get praised for the things we do that are called ghetto. (iswis)

yes it is offensive if you touch a black persons hair with or without permission. we are not your pets nor zoo animals. (iswis)

and yes it is offensive if you see a black women with beautiful hair and assume it's fake or ask, "is it yours?" "is it real?" (iswis)

using jailbait as an excuse to lewd minors is just as disgusting. (iswis)

beauty standards for women is rooted from pedophilia. (iswis)

using other pedophilic relationships as an excuse to ship yours is disturbing and you shouldnt be near children at any capacity. (iswis)

everything doesnt need a label. (iswis)

the fact that gangs have been criminalized while mafias havent is racist and feeds the stereotypes that poc are criminals. (iswis)

people are more forgiving to white predators than to poc (neither are good but people let white off the hook more often). (iswis)

if youre okay with your friends being racists, creeps, abusers you are just as bad. (iswis)

although you can like what you like, making dark content shouldnt be as glorified as much as it is. (iswis)

some kinks do deserve to be kink shamed. (iswis)

adults need to be more held accountable when held in situations with minors. (iswis + whe)

everyone perceives the world differently, many people will see the same things you see differently. (iswis)

calling people crazy for questioning the things around them doesnt make them crazy, youre just asleep. (iswis)

the human body can function without a soul. (iswis)

stop disrespecting christianity. you wouldnt do the same with hinduism, islam and etc. (iswis)

the bible was altered by white men and the true meanings have been misconstrued. (iswis + whe)

bullying someone who you THINK is problematic is not excuse to be hateful. youre just scum and feel the need to justify your actions. (iswis)

not everyone has to like you and dont need a reason. (iswis)

just because you dont like someone doesnt mean you have to make a show of it. be mature and move along. (iswis)

yes callouts/cancelling has its place but it's never done right. (iswis)

"cancel culture" wasnt a thing till white people joined in. (iswis)

dont cancel someone for stuff they did years ago. bringing it up is important but not allowing them to understand, reflect, and apologize is not only bullying it defeats the purpose of bringing awareness. (iswis)

big writers need to stop complaining when one fic or a few dont do good. not only does it rub in small writers faces, it shows that if you need people's validation to write you probably shouldnt be writing. some works will be popular and some will flop, get over it. (iswis)

stop witch hunting & crucifying people for shit you have done or your friends have done and going "uwu sorry" when you get caught. (iswis)

90% people believe content creators with bigger audiences. (iswis)

people spontaneously posting, "uwu take care of your mental health" doesnt mean that they actually care. (iswis)

people are always quick to judge people with real mental health such as depression, anxiety, adhd, and etc are always the one to turn and pretend to be exactly what they just mocked. (iswis)

dont have kids if youre not going to take care of them. (iswis)

stop baiting baby otakus (people freshly getting into anime) into watching cp like yarichin bitch club or boku no pico. they are minors, it's not funny, stop it. (iswis)

stop being protective & toxic over anime characters. if they were real they probably wouldnt even like you. (iswis)

just because someone is your friend doesnt mean that they arent toxic or abusive. (iswis)

start believing when people show their true traits. (iswis)

trauma happens in different forms, stop saying something didnt happen because it didnt go the way that has commonly happened or the way it occurred to you. (iswis)

stop saying minors should "know" while also being the loudest to say that our brains arent even developed till 25. (iswis)

the adult age should be raised to 20 years old. (iswis + whe)

tos should be raised to 16 years old. (iswis + whe)

minors take "18+" & "minors dni" out of your bio. (iswis)

yelling at minors for finding the content you freely put out without any care is your fault not theirs. (iswis)

there are plenty of adult sites that are more confined for adults but you guys ignore them because youd rather get popular on writing erotica on a popular social media platform. (iswis)

trying to cancel someone over one mistake and or blowing said things out of proportion is toxic and stupid. (iswis)

if you take someone saying they need to distance themselves for mental health reasons personally and make them feel bad for it youre an actual shitty person. (iswis)

if someone disrespects you, you have the right to say whatever you want in response. (iswis + whe)

stop hypersexualizing everything (adults especially). (iswis)

the excuses of, "they look grown" "i mentally think xyz" "theyre fake" is creepy and weird and yall should come up with a better excuse. (iswis)

yes i do believe minors should be writing for minors only, but i will not give a shit if an adult does if said characters are aged up in every work sfw or not. (iswis)

stop saying teens cant go through traumatic things and cant experience mental illnesses. it just shows that you werent cared for as a child and never get the therapy for it. (iswis)

gen z has a very colonized idea of activism. (iswis)

feminism was never for all women until the rest of us forced ourselves in. and even now it's still an issue whether or not people realize it or not. (iswis)

poc solidarity doesnt exist as much as we try to make it happen. (iswis)

colorism is an issue, and no you will not tell me otherwise. (iswis)

the hot cheeto girl is offensive and demeans black & hispanic culture. (iswis)

stop bashing minors for breathing, just say youre mad youre not young anymore and move on. (iswis)

black men are the white people of black people. (iswis)

there is no reason as to why you anyone would refer to black people as "blacks". nor should you (non-black people) be arguing whether or not to say nigga even with the hard r. (iswis)

if you (pertains to white people) think white privilege doesnt exist but go on to make fun of or ignore minority problems you are the living and breathing example of what we are talking about. (iswis)

loli/shotas are fucking disgusting and people who like it deserve to be tortured for eternity. (iswis)

seriously, stop using theyre "fake" as an excuse. (iswis)

if youre comfortable with being hateful to someone but still consider yourself a nice person because you do the hate minimum to be a decent human, youre either a narcissist or have a god complex. (iswis)

coons have no say in black issues. (iswis)

people need to stop blaming the "home wrecker" for ruining the relationship when it was the s/o's fault as well. there is no home to enter without an owner. (iswis)

stop saying any asian man yo see reminds you of a haikyuu character and or any anime character. it's racist. (iswis)

stop saying any asian person looks like a kpop idol, it's racist. (iswis)

stop downplaying and invalidating when black women go through traumatic things. not only does it promote that we have to be strong and save everyone else's problems, it says that we dont have emotions and cant be a victim which is disgusting. (iswis)

if you say shit like "minors curate your own experience" then go and turn around to say you REFUSE TO TAG YOUR SHIT YOU ARE LITERALLY MAKING THE PROCESS OF CENSORING HARD! (iswis)

white women are just as much of a problem as white men. only difference is sex keeping them apart. (iswis)

stop saying kpop is racist. expecting artists from a different political progression to understand that things can be offensive is bland. (iswis)

people accept boy groups fuck-ups more than they accept girl groups. and most times out of ten, the males are worse. (iswis)

if you engage in nsfw conversation with a minor, it is your fault they responded. (iswis)

anyone can be abused. (iswis)

stop coddling adults and bullying minors. (iswis)

most of you females have internalized misogyny and dont even know it. (iswis)

you can callout issues without having to drag a group of people. same with uplifting. (iswis)

if youre fine with being a sheep unfollow me. (iswis)

seven deadly sins is not a good anime. (iswis)

there is a difference between boku no hero academia fans based on if they call it "bnha" or "mha". (iswis)

ships literally are not serious stop harassing people over ships. (iswis)

do not harass creators of series because they do something with THEIR story. make your own. (iswis)

stop saying horikoshi sexualizes his women too much/mineta is the worst when you guys enjoy shows like one piece, hunter x hunter, naruto and etc. (iswis)

minors often or not are sheeps (heres your sign you dont have to agree with everything other people say). (iswis)

just because minors can be mature doesnt mean that they are adults. stop treating them as such. (iswis)

we should give more voice actors in the asmr (idk what to call it) community more recognition instead of just one. (iswis)

writers are the ones that send hate to other writers. anon hate is so corny and if you do it that goes to show that you are truly a toxic person wearing a fake mask of kindness when youre not on anonymous. (iswis)

stop being mean to smaller writers because they did not have as much luck as you. (iswis)

stop blaming your readers because one story flopped. (iswis)

ignoring someone's shitty actions encourages them to do it more. (iswis)

going to school and getting a job is much harder now than it was before. (iswis)

being an adult doesnt automatically make you mature. just because youre older doesnt mean youre better or you opinion is more valuable. it just shows that you werent heard when you were younger. (iswis)

there should be no reason as to why someone of the age of 18 should be having any romantic relationship with someone who is a minor. (iswis)

hawks is a shitty character. (iswis)

bakudeku isnt toxic. (iswis)

just because bakugo is in a ship, doesnt mean it's toxic. (iswis)

stop shipping male characters together simply because they have screen time together. it's creepy. (iswis)

almost all of 1-a students have ptsd and anything close to the after effects of being traumatized. (iswis)

no, editing characters to be poc is not racist. youre just mad they arent "white" when they never were. theyre asian and come in many colors as well. (iswis)

wanting to only be with a different race to get a mixed baby is fucking disgusting. (iswis)

stop ignoring pedo relationships between older women and younger boys and or with older women in general. (iswis)

males can be abused, stop telling them to suck it up or that they cant go through things. (iswis)

shaming young females about things they cant control is misogynistic and is damaging to their identity and shouldnt be excused. (iswis + whe)

not all females have to shave. (iswis)

what you dont like in someone is the projections you see of yourself on other people that you dont like about yourself. (whe)

popular bl stories extremely misrepresent gay relationships and frankly it's disgusting that theyre boosted as much as they are. (iswis)

jjba isnt ugly, you just watch animes to sexualize the characters. (iswis)

it's shitty that anime and kpop only became cool once white people stated to like it and made it mainstream. go gatekeep family guy or something. (iswis)

if you have been anime fan for a long time you were with bullied/teased for just generally liking it or you were a weirdo who recreated shit from it. (iswis)

weaboo and weeb were bad terms till we made them positive?? literally otaku is the word for it but we use weeb instead lol. (whe)

normalize and promote educating someone without going straight to bullying them. (whe)

haikyuu isnt really a good manga/anime nor is the art style the best but the characters make up for it. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to manipulate your narrative. (iswis)

toxic positivity is manipulative and if you have to make it back handed you are not as nice as you like to make it seem. (iswis)

studying a major doesnt mean youre actually good in the subject. (iswis)

normalize people realizing their past mistakes and growing from it. (iswis)

do not self diagnos unless you actually feel like you may have that issue and would like to seek help. mental health is not a personality trait. (iswis)

stop projecting onto people. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to fit your narrative. (iswis)

stealing any type of work should not be tolerated. (iswis)

constantly trying to trigger someone to go back to their old ways (being toxic, abusive, addiction, suicidal etc) after changing is toxic and manipulative. (iswis)

if you make jokes about hurting kids and or feel the need speak badly about them i do not want to speak to you. (iswis)

the human brain wasnt developed to understand complex ideas such as death or the universe. (iswis)

we will never truly know what is beyond our skies. (iswis)

thats all, thanks for sifting!

[talldecafcappuccino]

Title: Between Close Friends

Rating: General Audience

Chapters: 1/1

Relationship: Ted Lasso/Rebecca Welton

Summary: Ted is bad at social media, but is that a bad thing?

Ted, what the fuck are you doing????

Ted peers at his phone, rubbing sleep from his eyes and reads the message again.

He scrolls down and sees he has twelve more texts and three missed calls all from Keeley Jones. He turns off his nighttime notifications with a few exceptions for emergency contacts, so it’s not surprising he slept through the messages.

He scratches at the stubble along his cheek and checks his clock. It’s seven o’clock here in Kansas, so it must be . . . early afternoon in London. He thinks through the last day, but he can’t remember anything interesting enough to have Keeley on the case.

Henry came over to his extended-stay hotel, they went to an American football game, got a late dinner in downtown Wichita, and watched a movie before bed.

They did make it on the Jumbotron for the Lasso-off, the team’s half-time dance contest, but his moves weren’t especially embarrassing. At least not in his opinion. Unless one of the moves was actually an insult to the English in which case, oh jeeze, he needs to get on this quick.

The call barely connects before Keeley’s voice echoes in his ear.

“Oy! Ted!”

“Keeley, I am so sorry for whatever I did to offend the great people of the United Kingdom. I am ready to make a statement and an apology tour as soon as you tell me which dance move I need to retire immediately.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I need you to log out of the AFC Richmond Instagram account. Like, now.”

That stops Ted in his tracks.

Does he even have access to that? He remembers a post-it note of accounts and passwords from Beard on their first day with Richmond.

There was an account run by the previous manager, but Keeley had taken it over long ago, converting it to the official team account. She had also made Ted a personal Instagram for his own use and brand development, but he never posted publicly.

He puts her on speaker phone and opens the Instagram app. She’s right. He’s logged into the team account with all 25 million followers. Well, shoot.

There are about a dozen stories posted from last night. All of Ted and Henry’s day together. There’s puns (“having a cow” at dinner with an image of Henry holding up a beef rib and screaming his head off), Ted and Henry singing at a dueling piano bar, the two brushing their teeth together in the bathroom mirror.

“No offense, but I think this may delay the Tom Ford deal you asked me about.”

“Yeah. I get that.”

“It’s just, you know, dads aren’t quite their brand. Or our brand. I mean we’re not anti-dorky dad, but you know with the whole comeback narrative during the season hiatus . . .”

“No I get it. You’ve put a lot of work into rebranding this team and I just undermined that.”

She sighs, but it’s fond.

“Sorry, Ted. It’s not like what you posted was bad, it’s rather sweet actually. It’s just a little different from the posts I had scheduled.”

Ted nodded. It wasn’t the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him, but he felt bad for making Keeley’s job harder than it needed to be.

“No, I’m sorry Keeley. I swear, it won’t happen again.”

****

“Can you believe what Ted did last night? I’ve never seen someone so bad at social media.”

Rebecca has no idea what Keeley is talking about when she walks into her office. She flops onto the couch, feet splayed on the coffee table, clearly exhausted by whatever Ted has done from 4,438 miles away.

“So many puns. Which, don't get me wrong, I love word play more than most people. But I don’t think it’s right for the team right now.”

Rebecca shuts her laptop.

“You’re right about puns not being part of the team plan, but what’s this about Ted? What did he do, exactly?”

Ted hasn’t posted anything in at least 24 hours. Not that Rebecca is keeping track.

“Oh he managed to switch to the team account on Instagram and posted about his entire evening out with Henry. It was quite sweet, actually. The ones that made sense,” but then she pulled a face.”He’s like, really, really bad at social media.”

Oof. Well that isn’t great, but Rebecca doesn’t think there’s anything particularly terrible about Ted’s social media use normally.

“But everything seems under control? No big PR actions needed.”

“It’s fine. I had him log out and wrote a post about Coach Lasso’s surprise social media takeover from America.”

Rebecca nods. Okay, so it was all sorted. Keeley has things totally under control.

But she reaches for her phone anyway. She opens Instagram, taps through the AFC Richmond stories, and snorts at the image of Henry with the rib as big as his head.

“Are people at least being kind?” Rebecca hopes Ted logged out without seeing any messages about Henry. Not that she could see any reason for it, but people were shitheads on the internet.

“Well, wanker is still the most common response. But many of them are wanker with a little heart at the end, so I think it’s fine. We actually got a lot of responses, proper engagement and all that,” she looks up at the ceiling, considering it for a moment before rolling her head to look back at Rebecca.

“If we weren’t trying to present the team as a badass phoenix rising from the ashes, I’d say a Ted takeover isn’t a bad idea. He just needs some supervision. Maybe a phone with a better camera.”

Rebecca is only half listening as she taps to the next story.

“Aw, they went to dueling piano night. That must have been fun for Henry.”

She’s smiling at her phone when Keeley asks, “Dueling piano night?”

“Yeah, you know at Jim Bob’s Bar.”

Keeley is looking at her blankly.

“Fine. I know it’s not really Jim Bob’s bar. It’s probably not even a bar if Henry’s there. But I can’t remember the real name off the top of my head.”

She’d looked it up once, after Ted first posted about the dueling pianos. For some reason she started calling it Jim Bob’s. Ted didn’t seem bothered and had even started calling it that himself.

When she looks up again, Keeley is staring at her, eyes narrowed.

“What are you talking about?”

“What do you mean?”

“How do you know so much about some bar in Kansas?”

That gives Rebecca pause. She isn’t sure what Keeley means by the line of questioning.

“It’s not some totally random bar. Ted posts about it whenever he goes for dueling pianos.”

If he gets to the bar early or she has a particularly late evening, Rebecca catches the story before going to bed. When she does, she always asks him to put in $5 for Wannabee by the Spice Girls. She owes him a small fortune by now, but it’s worth it to see the bar explode with cheers and jeers.

Some nights she misses the story, but he puts money in anyways and she wakes up to a shaky video of, Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.

Rebecca thinks this is a good enough explanation, but Keeley is still staring at her.

“I’ve literally no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Keeley, you know social media is not my thing. All I know is that sometimes Ted posts about this bar on his tiny friends list thing,” she waves her hand around, trying her best to describe it. “The one with the green ring around it.”

Keeley leaps to her feet, eyes wide.

“Am I not on Ted’s Close Friends list??”

Before Rebecca can say a word, Keeley is halfway out the door, texting furiously.

“Roy, better not be on there, if I’m not on there. Ted knows how I feel about being left out!” she shouts over her shoulder. “Sorry Rebecca, I need to do some investigating, asap.”

Oof. She may have just created a problem. It’s probably best to give Ted a heads up before Keeley gets through interrogating Roy.

She drafts a text once, twice, then deletes it and presses call instead.

“Hey Boss, let me guess. Keeley got a hold of you?”

It’s been a while since they’ve chatted, what with the time difference. It’s bizarre how familiar his American accent has become.

“She just left my office, yes.”

There’s a loud crack in the background and a metal clang.

“Where are you?”

“Oh, just the batting cages with Henry,” he says, cheering loudly. “Hey, do you guys have a sport called baseball that has nothing to do with American baseball? You know, like football and football?”

She chuckles, “I don’t believe we do. However there is always cricket.”

He hums, considering it.

“Now Ted, I think there’s something you should know.”

“Lay it on me Boss. I know I caused a headache this morning, what’s the damage? What do you need me to do? I am at your disposal or I’ll lay really, really low as long as you need me to.”

“It’s not that Ted. It’s Keeley.”

“Keeley?”

“Yes, she’s on a bit of a mission at the moment. It seems you left her off your Close Friends list? I think that’s right. On Instagram?”

“Huh. How did that come up?”

“I was telling her about Jim Bob’s. Apparently she had never heard of it and realized you had a whole social media life she was unaware of.”

“Right . . .”

“So do what you will with that.”

“You haven’t talked to anyone else about this yet, have you?”

Rebecca is confused by this new direction.

“No. Why? Ted, is something wrong?”

It takes a long moment for Ted to respond.

“What can I say, I’m just really bad at this social media stuff.”

It's a non-response and an overly folksy one at that. But Rebecca can’t be fooled by the aw shucks routine—not anymore. She tries again.

“Ted. Who is on your close friends list?”

“Uh. Not a lot of people.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“What can I say?” He huffs, a little frustrated. She would feel bad for prying, but she can't help herself. “The list of people I want to share silly life things with is small.”

“How small?” she wonders.

“Very small.”

The line goes silent and Rebecca swears she lost him. But then she hears him take a deep breath.

“It’s you. You’re the list.”

Rebecca feels flush. That’s not where she was expecting this conversation to go.

“I know that might be a lot. You don’t have to say anything. I just, that’s the honest truth and I’d like to get ahead of it before Keeley harangues the entire team.”

It’s a lot to take in, but it makes sense. Sometimes when she’s watching his posts, she wonders about his audience. Who else cares about his biscuit recipe improvements or Broadway Sundays (a recent development that’s turned into a shared movie night.)

“Rebecca?”

She realizes she’s been quiet for a while. The moment feels tenuous and she worries about saying the wrong thing, sending him running faster than Keeley during a social media snafu.

Finally she settles on, “You know, you’re welcome to text me silly life things. It wouldn’t be a bother.”

She brushes invisible crumbs from her desk, listening carefully to his breathing on the other end of the line.

“Yeah?”

“Yes. Maybe I can send some, too?”

Rebecca can hear his smile from across the Atlantic.

“Well, alright then.”

****

That night, Ted’s phone pings and he rolls over to see a text message from Rebecca. It’s a picture of the sun rising over her garden wall.

Something silly to start the day.

But it doesn’t feel silly. Not at all.

[radramblog]

The default Microsoft XP Games

This evening I have decided to write some nonsense. It’s my god-given right to bullshit, and a gift I’ve been cultivating for years. Also because I’m tired and have other things to be spending precious brainpower on.

After pondering some ideas, some silly, some sillier, I landed on this. The original plan was to go through the Google Doodle games, but A. I couldn’t find a repository of them in the approximately one minute I tried looking, and B. There’s probably, like, a lot of them. Plus, XP was the OS of the family computer when I was a kid, so you bet your ass I tried these out. Er, most of them. Because when you’re a 6-year-old looking for shit to do and the edutainment well is running a little dry, you turn to some odd places. So I have little a nostalgia, as a treat.

Okay so, first on the list is….a bunch of Internet games. Backgammon, Checkers, Hearts, Reversi, and Spades. Now, I’ve heard of most of these in board/card game form (dunno what Spades is), but it’s hard to give these any sort of love because… you know… I didn’t play them. At all, ever. Kid me wasn’t going to be able to figure out how to get an online game running in 2004, let alone sign up for an account or even connect to the internet when we had dialup. At the same time, I imagine these would have ended up kinda popular, because hey- loads of people have nostalgia for the default games, and these were ones you could play with other people! I’m surprised they didn’t have Chess on there, actually.

They really looked like that, huh.

Anyway, you can’t play any of these anymore, the server support ended in….2019?! Who the fuck was running the XP Internet Checkers service in 2019? That’s a full 10 years after updates and support for the OS actually stopped. Why did it take so long to shut down these random servers?

Moving on, we have Hearts. A…local version of the Internet Hearts, I suppose. This is one I definitely remember attempting to play as a kid, but apparently I never tried reading the actual instructions. Or if I did, I sure couldn’t parse them. I just remember losing a lot, a streak I have clearly continued, as I sure have still yet to Get Good At Games. I’m going to be honest, I probably can’t be bothered figuring them out now. Even if I did, who am I going to play with? You need 4 players for this game, exactly, and I have a hard enough time getting 3 other people to play Magic with.

Next thing, going very alphabetically here, is Freecell. The other one I never figured out. At least with hearts, I could make moves, pretend like I was playing the game, but I’m pretty sure with Freecell I just never actually figured out how to start the game. After a brief moment of research, it appears to be a Solitare variant (oh we’ll get to you), and considering I’ve never heard it brought up elsewhere, it’s probably not a very popular one. Something to be said about messing with what works. According to good old fashioned Wikipedia, it’s a version where almost every single theoretically possible hand is winnable, which is nice, but I’m sure most people are still going to cock it up.

Speaking of Solitaire variants, might as well bring up Spider. I definitely actually figured out how to play this one at some point, likely a result of having figured out regular Solitaire. It is, however, much more complicated, I believe, what with using more than one deck and just having stacks of stacks. This also makes it more difficult, and thereby, more frustrating- apparently as opposed to Freecell this one has approximately a 1 in 3 winrate if you know what you’re doing, and I don’t really like those odds. Of course, apparently regular Solitaire (aka Klondike, but most people call it Solitaire because of Microsoft) is even worse, so.

Remind we why this is called Spider again?

Finally the big one, Regular Fucking Solitaire. Known by many names- Patience, American Patience, Demon Patience, and Triangle. Wikipedia, what the fuck?

I think at this point Solitaire is not just iconic of XP, but of Windows in general. Perhaps I’m showing my age a bit here, since I’m sure it was in a version of the OS long before I showed up to give it a shot, but obviously its what I know it from. Aside from just the game itself, even the victory screen itself is well remembered, cards duplicating and cascading across the screen. I don’t know who programmed that, or who decided it should be a thing, but they made a good choice- it’s incredibly satisfying.

Solitaire is just kind of really satisfying. It’s a simple enough puzzle, with a huge amount of potential depth and billions of possible combinations, making it kind of the perfect timewaster. Did they know what they were doing when they added it to Windows in the first place? Imagine how much productivity that decision cost offices worldwide.

Nahh, those fuckers weren’t getting up to anything anyway.

There are two games remaining to talk about, and we might as well get Minesweeper out of the way. I don’t know why, but I never really got into Minesweeper. Just bounced right off of it. Actually, in retrospect, it’s probably because 1. I didn’t know what I was doing, and B., even when I did figure it out, I definitely took a while to figure out the right click -> flag mine input. The game is not especially appealing to kids when you don’t have that sorted, and honestly, I’m not sure it gets much better when you do.

Finally, the last and clearly best game on the list, motherfucking  3D Pinball Space Cadet. Apparently this is actually one map included as a demo for an actual buyable game with a whole 3 boards, but I can’t imagine anyone buying it. For one, it’d have to be pretty cheap to make that worth it, especially since we already have one for free- and yeah, we have a third of it already, who needs to buy it.

I’ve always really enjoyed Pinball, even if I’m not very good at it. I’m not the type to obsess over it, or get competitive like people apparently do. I just really enjoy it, and would love to have my own table someday. And I think this game is the cause.

Unlike the previous entries on this list, 3D Pinball feels more like an actual game rather than a timewaster. It has art, and sound effects, and flashing lights and everything. Those sound effects are absolutely burned into my brain at this point. Considering only it and Minesweeper aren’t existing things you could already do with playing cards (or in the case of the Internet series, various boards), they’re the only ones you can really apply video game design philosophy to.

And the result I think is fairly interesting. 3D Pinball, despite having the full power of early 2000s processing at its fingertips, plays much like an actual machine as compared to other Pinball-based video games. One could argue this is a result of its default inclusion- too much Stuff would alienate the gentile audience they were going for, after all. The choice of Space Cadet as a theme suits well the 3D design- both three-dimensional games and, well, Space travel felt similarly ambitious for a while, and I’m sure this game was a lot of people’s introductions to 3D on a PC.

I don’t think this game has had the longevity of Solitaire and Minesweeper in the greater public eye- likely a result of them being around for longer and available in more than three versions of Windows- but for those around my age, who grew up on XP and were attracted to the shiny thing, I could argue it’s just as memorable.

And that’s the full listing. A bit hit or miss, but you have to keep in mind that these were both free and developed by Microsoft before they really had a games studio. These days, what with Xbox, Microsoft not making games really seems odd to think about, but outside of a limited few like these, that was just the facts.

And then they went and made some really weird ones for Vista and 7, and they weren’t good (except Mahjong but they didn’t really make that so much as port it), and then for Windows 8/10 they made them downloadable and…put ads on them….

Man, bring me back to those days, huh.

[rosierocks30]

Hidden: CH.8

Chapter 8: Homecoming

Levi stared at the stairs that led to his hometown, the Underground City. It’s been many years since he considered going down to see how different the shitty place looks. He knew one thing was the smell hadn't gotten better. It still smells like feces and death. 

The Captain of the Survey Corps walked down the dark stairs to enter the tunnel. 

“What’s that awful smell?” An American accent echoes the dark dingy tunnel. 

“Oi old man, quiet down. We don’t want to attract unwanted attention.” Levi glanced at his grandfather. 

Both grandson and grandfather kept walking. Levi took Bill with him on a small trip to find any artifact that the late Jacob Miles left Kuchel Ackerman to hide  it from Templars. This wasn’t his idea. Levi would have not come here if it wasn’t necessary. Bill insisted Levi to accompany him on this family duo mission. 

The captain may not be part of the Brotherhood yet, but for a few months Bill had been training him of the creed. His squad are also going through the training too. Levi knew how to fight and kill human beings. For Walls’ sake, he was raised by Kenny the Ripper. He remembered the heated conversation between Bill and him. 

(Flashback)

“Levi, don’t be stubborn. This is your heritage. Why don’t you want to be an assassin?” The Mentor sighed in frustration. 

“Because the Survey Corps needs their captain. I will not abandon my comrades especially if we're close at war. My people need their Humanity’s Strongest. I won’t let them down. So no. Out of the question.” Levi explained. 

“No one is asking you to leave the Survey Corps or not be part of the upcoming war. I think you should do it. Learning new skills can add your advantage of fighting against our enemies.” Commander Hange was leaning on the wall staring at the assassin and the captain arguing. 

The room was dim from the candle lights. The meeting room was full of soldiers and assassins. Of course the queen was sitting at the head center of the table. The news of Premier Zackely’s death was what lead this emergency meeting to happen. 

An old maid who cleaned Zackely’s Office, found him dead. Blood was covered from the desk to the floor. That was what the old lady witnessed when she reported to the MPs. The whole Paradis’ military were shocked and alerted.  

With his death, a new Premier must be elected soon as possible. Whoever murdered Darius Zackely, it was a declaration of war. Darius was known to be a few steps ahead from everyone which got him to be Premier in the first place. 

“Fine, but on one condition, my squad will be part of the Brotherhood. They’re the best soldiers I can rely on.” He said. 

“Alright, you got a deal, son.” Bill nodded and agreed to the terms.

(Flashback)

They finally see the light of the end of the tunnel. Luckily, no one was there to keep an eye out of the entrance. Levi took a step back to let all the nostalgic memories he had as a child to an infamous thug. 

“The only place I can think of is the brothel where my mother and I used to live there.” Levi pulled his hood more to cover half of his face. His grandfather already had his hood covering his eyes. They kept walking on the muddy road. There were people doing their daily activities. In the corner, some prostitutes try to allure them with their terrible flirting skills in Levi’s option. 

Thank the Walls, Historia didn’t join them. Her mood had been changing as her womb got bigger. Only a couple of months left for the baby to pop out. She would glare at them and maybe cause a scene. His wife usually wasn’t like this. It’s probably the hormones’ fault. Hopefully, after the baby is born, he won’t be walking on eggshells around her. 

These past few months had changed at a fast pace for Levi. First is the assassination of Darius Zackely then choosing his new successor which it was the Garrison commander Pixis. He’s a brilliant man but a drunkard also. Oh yeah, most of the higher ups officers know Historia is pregnant and married to him. The public doesn’t know yet, but they’re half way there. 

(Flashback)

Before Darius Zackely’s death, the three commanders of the Survey Corps, Garrison, and Military Police, were summoned by the Premier along Captain Levi, Mentor William Miles, and Queen Historia for this sudden late evening meeting.

As Levi and Historia entered the room and sat in their places. The Premier made a sound to get everyone’s attention. “Alright, everyone and your majesty. I have summoned this private meeting because one of my spies in Marley sent me a letter that General Magath will soon plan to invade this island than we hope for a little longer we anticipate.” Most of the group were not happy about this news. 

“Before we discuss defending our home, Captain Levi and Your Majesty is there anything you both should share with us?” Darius glanced at the married couples. 

Historia was confused while Levi glared at his superior officer. He had a hunch what the Premier meant when he asked them. 

“I’m sorry, Premier Zackely. I don’t follow what you’re saying.” The queen said while posing as the authoritative figure. She is the queen of Paradis Isle, not the little soldier she once was. 

“You know what exactly I mean, You’re Majesty. Your relationship with Captain Levi. I admit both of you kept this secret for so long. I applaud both of you, but you both know that the nobles will cause a riot for this scandal.” Commander Dok was speechless when the secret relationship of Levi and Historia was exposed. Commander Pixis was intrigued at this revelation.

“How the fucking hell did you know about us?” Levi still glared at Darius. This isn’t happening. The Premier will throw Levi to jail and she won’t be able to see him. Historia was scared for her husband. 

William was observing the way his grandson was ready to attack to protect Historia. “Levi, please calm down.” Then Levi’s glare shifted towards him. 

“Captain Levi relaxes. I’m not planning to lock you up or execute you. I just want you two be aware that I know for a long time about your relationship, even your marriage. Commander Hange, I’m not surprised you knew about them and witnessed their marriage. I’m disappointed that I needed a spy to know about the lovebirds.” Darius Zackely glances at the finger where the ring is located from Historia’s hand. The queen blushed embarrassingly. 

“You have someone spied on me?!” Something in Historia made her snapped. She has been tired of being too cautious just to have some privacy. Ever since Historia became queen, it has been suffocating. Her ladies were around her most of the time that she needed to give them an excuse to be alone. The nobles come for an audience with her for planning some extravagant party or trying to ask for her hand in marriage for themselves or their sons. She never wanted to be queen, but some midget decided to choke her into agreeing. Historia never told Levi or her friends that sometimes she gets breakdowns. 

“Your grace, calm down for the sake of you and your heir.” The Premier noticed the queen got up and glared angrily. 

“Did one of my doctors tell you?” She said. 

“No, like I said one of my spies who’s name will remain anonymous.” The older man trying to make the queen understand. 

“Alright, so now you know about us. What do you plan to do with us then?” Levi intervened. He grabs Historia’s wrist to gesture her to sit down and try to remain calm.

“I’m not planning anything. This would have been avoidable if you both told me personally so I can make sure this stays a secret. A baby right now is not the right time at the moment since war will come soon.” He lectured on the married couple like misbehaved kids. 

“It wasn’t planned, sir. It just happens.” Levi felt uncomfortable about getting to that topic. 

“I see, so now that’s settled. We can now plan properly for both the queen’s safety and the future crowned prince or princess. Who knows what the Marleyans will do if they knew your pregnancy. “ Zackely shuffled the papers. 

“Your majesty, once you reach six months, we’ll escort you to the Farm from the orphanage to be bed rest and prepare you for a safe delivery away from the possible battleground.” He continues. On the other hand, Historia was concerned for the residents’ safety. “What about the people? We need a plan to have an evacuation if they make it into the Walls.” 

Commander Pixis speaks out. “Your grace, my soldiers and I will make sure the enemies won’t get through the Walls. Not under my watch.” His tone was filled with passion and promise. 

The queen nodded in gratitude for the Garrison Commander. Commander Nile Dok joined in the conversation. “I’ll increase soldiers to patrol for the safety of the citizens.” 

“Thank you, Commander Pixis and Commander Dok. I don’t want fatality to increase to the mass when the war starts.” She leans against her chair to breathe in relief. 

“Premier Zackely, if I may intrude; Levi and I had talked about sending the queen to the location where my fellow assassins are based.” William speaks out.  

“Hmm that would be safer, but the Marleyans would track us down and shoot the ship.” He pointed out. 

“Yes, but I know someone with a cargo plane to take the queen along with some bodyguards to New York City.” Bill suggested his plan to the Premier.

“Very well, I’ll consider it. As allies, we need to be on our toes since you mention these Templars could be involved with the Marleyans?” 

“Also, if anything does happen to me, I named Pixis as my successor. Since the day, the late Commander Erwin led his Scouts to Grisha Jeager’s basement; this kingdom had been transitating the changes from not being the only last humans on Earth.” Zackely said. 

Commander Pixis salutes his higher up officer. “I’ll be honored to accept you as your successor.”

“Good, I’m pleased you accepted it, you’ve earned it, Pixis.” Zackley nodded. 

(Flashback end)

Levi shook his head to focus on why they were here as his eyes glanced at the old familiar building. It still looks the same since he left with Kenny. His grandfather stared at him in concern. “Are you alright, Levi?” 

The raven haired soldier nods his head to assure the elder man that he’s fine. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get this over it. I have a date with my heavily pregnant wife after this.” 

They enter the brothel slash hotel. The place is full of people. The smell of the air is full of perfume and smoke. Levi hated the smell. It had suffocated him when he used to live here as a child. 

“Let’s see if Mr. Douglas is still alive.” Levi mumbled and walked to the bar section. Bill followed him then both sat on the stools right beside each other. 

A bartender was cleaning a glass shot when he noticed Levi and Bill sat on the stools. “What can I get you gentlemen? I see you both are not from around here.” The man started the small conversation. 

Both the soldier and assassin had their hoods hiding most of their face. “We’ll have whiskey on the rocks.” Bill said. Levi wasn’t a fan of drinking since he always needed to be alert 24/7 in order to survive this world. 

The bartender nodded and began to grab a bottle of whiskey. He grabbed two glasses then put two ices in each glasses. The amber liquor was poured into the glasses half full then slides one by one to Bill then to Levi. 

The captain stared down at the whiskey. Don’t get him wrong. He has high tolerance in alcohol, but that doesn’t mean he enjoyed it. Tea is his preference. As some of the Americans say to him one time. Tea is love, tea is life. That he agreed. 

Levi lifts the small glass the way he holds his tea and has the rim of the glass press on to his lips. His lips open a bit to let the strong scent of alcohol run down to his lips as he drinks into a small sip. 

“He is not, but I am.” Levi finally answered one of the questions from the bartender. “I used to be born and raised here. I’m Levi, Kuchel’s son. Is Mr. Douglas still working here?” 

The young bartender gasped from Levi revealing who he was. “You mean, you’re the Captain Levi that my gramps told me about when he used to run this place?” 

“Ah you must be related to him?” Bill said. 

“He died long ago. Now, this hotel belongs to my ma and me. My grandpa used to tell me stories of a small kid who liked cleaning too much that he learned many tips from you.” The bartender smiles from thinking old memories of his grandfather. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. He was a good man from what I remember.” Levi sympathized with the young man. 

“Thank you, but it was long ago so it’s alright. So, can I ask why are you here? Ever since you moved up the surface, you made a name for yourself as Humanity’s Strongest. I would never have thought I'd meet you. You’re a hero to the people down here. Most of us were overjoyed to have one of our own protecting good people like us. Well, some since this underworld city is full of cruel bastards ruling over good honest people like my gramps and my neighbors.” The bartender frowned at the thought of the criminals ruining the poor people who just want to be left in peace.  

Great another fanboy. Levi hated to encounter anyone who admired him as a hero because in his reality, he doesn’t feel like a hero. He’s just a soldier who fights for humanity to repay his sins. He’s a monster. Monsters are not heroes. 

“I came back to finally face my past. I’m ready. Will you lent me the key of #7? I want to look at the room where my mother died in it, before I go to war. Who knows I might not ever get the chance to tell my mother’s soul goodbye.” Levi lowered his head as tears tried to threaten to come out. 

His mother was a warm and compassionate woman. She reminded him of Historia. His beautiful sweet Historia. Every night his mom always sang lullabies during bedtimes. Some songs were in another language but he knew them from the heart. 

(Flashback)

“Levi, come to mama. It’s bedtime.” A beautiful raven haired woman called her toddler son. 

“Yes mama.” A little Levi runs to his mother’s arms. Kuchel picked him up and smiled warmly. “Oh my, you’re growing bigger and stronger.” She chuckles while holding him up in the air like a plane. 

“Look mama, I can fly! I’m a birdie.” Levi flaps his arms like a bird flying with its wings. 

“Yes, my little eagle.” She threw him up into the air and caught him. The little boy giggled and hugged his mother. Her smell was pinecones and wild flowers. He doesn’t know why since they have never been to the surface. But she somehow smells like it. 

She began to gently rock him. Her hum turned into a tune. Then she sang away a lullaby that Levi’s father taught her. 

Close your eyes

Let the sound of the night sing away

Feel the breeze to drift you a far this place

So spread your wings

Rise high, my little eagle 

Fly away into the clear sky

You’ll be free

You’re meant to be free

Don’t stop and keep flying

To freedom, my baby eagle

So my baby eagle, fly away

(End of Flashback)

(Another flashback)

Historia was reading a children’s fairytale book to the unborn baby she’s carrying in her womb. Levi was on the desk doing paperwork for Hange which irritated him since papaerworks is not his best skill. He lifts his tea cup to sip it and stops his work to turn around and listen to his wife reading a book to the unborn. 

“Tch, our kid isn’t even born yet, and you’re already reading to her or him.” Levi scoffed. 

Historia stopped and rolled her eyes at her grouchy husband. “The pregnancy book said by now our child already developed ears to listen to our voice. I want the baby to be nurtured with our love now.” She placed her hand on her now swollen belly then rubbed it. She’s now heavily three months away from birthing their baby. 

They still don’t know the gender of the baby. It’s best to be surprised whether it’s a girl or boy. Either way, they don’t care what gender it is. The soon to be parents will love their baby no matter what. Ever since the late Premier Zackely’s death, Pixis became the new Premier. The plan resumed what the late Premier Zackely wanted. Once the queen started to show, the MPs and Levi escorted Historia to the Farm where an Orphanage was resided. The Orphanage was funded by the government when Historia and Levi advocated. 

 Levi pushed the wooden chair to leave space for him to get up. He walked to the large bed and flopped on the mattress next to his wife. 

“If you say so.” He said and glanced at the huge belly. Levi hoped the kid wouldn't be taller than him, but he felt the unborn will grow tall in the future. He pressed his forehead on Historia’s belly and began to hum into a similar tune that his late mother used to sing to him. 

 Close your eyes, little one

Let the sound of the night sing away

Feel the breeze to drift you afar this place 

So spread your wings

Rise high, my little eagle

Fly away into clear sky

You’ll be free

Don’t stop and keep flying

To freedom, my baby eagle 

So my baby eagle, fly away

After Levi stopped singing, a sniffle sound was heard from Historia. He glimpsed at his wife as she cried silently. 

“Why are you crying. Are you in pain?” The soldier gets up to check if she was in serious pain. Historia shook her head to respond to his concerning questions. 

“No, I’m fine. It’s just...that was so beautiful. Who taught you?” The queen still has tears falling. 

“My mother. She used to sing this song to me every night before I go to bed.” He whispered. 

He felt her hands cup his cheeks to guide his face to hers. His lips press against hers to feel those soft warm lips he comes to cherish. This kiss was not their usual passionate hunger, it was soft and tender. 

“You’re full of surprises, Levi Ackerman.” She whispered while kissing him. 

“It won’t be surprising if I gave it away all at once.” He smirked playfully. 

She giggled and cuddled him on the bed. Levi grabbed the book to place it on the nightstand table to be comfortably close to his wife. 

“Tomorrow, I’m going back to the Underground City. I haven’t gone there in many years.” He said in a quiet tone. This caught Historia’s attention. 

“Why are you? You’re ready to face your past?” She was concerned for him. Historia knew she couldn’t go accompany him underground.

“Yeah, I’m ready. It’s time to have that closure for us and the baby. I don’t want to have that regret if I lose my chances to have my peace. Also I want to check if I find anything that my father gave something to my mom to hide it from templars or any one with terrible intentions.” He said. 

She nodded in understanding. “Go, if you must do this. But come back home to me safely. At least, take someone with you. I would feel less worried if you go alone.” She buried her face on his chest just feeling scared again being so far away from her husband. 

“I will, and don’t worry; I’ll come home as soon as possible.” He made a promise. His nose buried on her hair to inhale her scent. Damn, she always smelled so pure and divine. 

“Good, I’ll hold on to that.” The queen smiled. 

“Let’s sleep, I need to wake up early anyways.” He began to undo his just the shirt to take it off and place it on the chair where his desk was. Historia already wore her nightgown but it was maternity style. He could feel her eyes staring at him. His head turned to glance at her which she was blushing. 

“Can’t get enough?” He chuckled deeply then went to his side of the bed and lift the covers to lay on the bed then covered half way. 

Historia coughed. “No matter how many times I see you naked or half naked in this case, I am still blushing like a virgin.” She chuckled along. 

He wrapped around his arms on her body to snuggle under the covers. Both husband and wife laid on the bed peacefully as their eyes drowned away to sleep. 

“You are too adored, my goddess. Goodnight, my love.” He gave her a goodnight kiss. 

“Goodnight, my soft warrior.” She whispered and kissed him back. 

(End Flashback)

The bartender decide to give the key to Room # 7 to Levi. So now, Levi and Bill walk through the empty halls where it still haunts the captain for many years. So many bad and good memories, he had within these halls as a brat. 

Finally, they reached to the door of room #7. Levi stands in front of the door as so many flood of memories of his mother and him barely surviving off the money his mother earned by prostituting herself with men like Ethan and Raymond. He doesn’t know if Ethan is alive. He so badly want to crave the now old man’s body as he torture him slow and painful. The pain he caused with Destinia, Jessie, and his mother… 

“Are you sure you're alright, my boy?” Bill places his hand on Levi’s shoulder to comfort him. Levi snapped out of his trance of emotional pain. He turned his head to look at his grandfather to nod in reassuring him. 

He inserts the key into the door knob then twists it as the door unlocks it. His hand opened the door slowly. Inside the room was dark and empty. 

Levi steps into the room. After all these years, he has returned home. 

“Ok, this place may be empty, but we’ll try to find anything.” Levi said. Both of them begin to look through the empty furniture. Yet, nothing. Levi glances at the mattress and pulls out his hidden blade to cut the mattress. He ripped open the old mattress. “You could have used the Eagle vision if it is an artifact of the First Civilization.” Bill pointed it out. 

Levi made an annoyed expression. “Fine.” He had been practicing to use his Eagle vision. It was cool when he accessed it. 

The captain closed his eyes then opened it as his vision is grey with some faded blue lines. He scans the mattress to see once again, nothing. “Damn it. It’s not even here either.” Levi sighs in frustration. Bill frowned in disappointment of not finding anything. “Probably someone already took it and we’re too late.” Mentor assassin said. 

Levi looked up to scan all over the room. On the left, he views a golden-reddish sphere inside the wall. Bingo. They have found it. “Or my mother was good at hiding things.” 

“You found something?” Bill was excited. Levi gets off the ripped mattress to walk toward the wall where the sphere is located. 

“Yeah, it’s inside this wall.” Levi places his hands then presses his ear. He knocked on the wall which made an echo bang. “It’s hollow. I’m going to have to make a hole.” He steps back to have space to punch into the wall. A hole was formed then the raven haired man saw a glimpse of a sphere object glowing. 

“I don’t believe it. Another Apple of Eden.” Bill wonders is this the same object that Jacob had found long ago on his mission to the ruins of the Aztecs, where he found this sphere object? 

Levi rips some pieces of the wall to make a bigger hole then grabs the object carefully. He observed the Apple of Eden. This thing is so peculiar but intriguing. So many wars between the templars and assassins were fought over to gain controlled over this. 

“So, what now?” The captain looks at his grandfather in guidance. 

Before Bill says anything, the sphere glows brighter. Levi stuck out his hand away from him but didn’t drop the Isu’s object. 

The piece of Eden created an illusion image of a man who looks like sitting on a wooden chair. When the image of the man appears, Bill gasps in shock that it was his first-born son, Jacob Miles. 

“Hello Levi, my little boy. It’s me, your dad.” The projected image of Jake chuckled lightly. 

“Listen son, if you found this piece of Eden then you probably know about your heritage. We come from a long ass line of warriors called the assassins. Hopefully, dad already began training you. But this thing is the only way for me to send a message since by then I would probably be dead by then. I just want to say...I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for leaving you and your mother in this shitty place. Both of you deserve a life. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to watch you grow up into a fine man. Heck, I bet you got my good looks. I had the same vision of you all grown up slaying some giant-like monster. I don’t know it was, but you were looking badass. Your mother didn;t believe me at first. I convinced her, we got to give you a badass name.” Again, he chuckled. 

Levi’s hand was trembling. He can’t believe it. He finally met his dad. All those years of denial of wanting to know about who he was? Bill was trying not to cry when the image of his son was in front of him. This was his last days before he died. 

“Levi, I understand you probably might hate me for leaving you and your mother alone on this island. I could have taken your mother away from here, but with you being so close to be born; we don’t want to risk pregnancy complications. The plan was to take you both after your birth, but it’s like faith didn’t allow it. I am being called on to go on this dangerous trip. I might not survive, but if I did, I will promise you both that we’ll go to America where you won’t live in hunger, worry about being prosecuted because you're an Eldian and Ackerman. I love you so much Levi. No matter what you’re capable of, I will always love you. Don’t let your guilt consume you. You’re a survivor. You’re a descendant of both warrior’s bloodlines. I may be long gone from this world, but I will always be there within you to guide you just like our ancestors are within you to guide you. We’re all in one. Protect your mother for me, kiddo. She is my world. That spunk woman is one of the kind. One day, when you become a man, you’ll find someone who will make you feel their worth of risk of getting that happy life. So, this is it. Goodbye son, live for yourself. Live for the right of the happiness you deserve. It’s never too late to chase that dream. I love you, son. Kuchel, if you’re listening. I love you so fucking much baby. I’ll try to go home to you, ok.” 

The image of Jacob had disappeared. The apple of Eden had stopped glowing. Levi dropped the artifact as his knees hit the ground. His head bow low as tears are trying to escape. His body trembles from hold in so much emotion. William encouraged his grandson to not hold it in. “Levi, it’s ok. You don’t have to bury them anymore. Let them out.” 

The captain presses his hands on the cold floor then makes a fist of both of them. A sound of choked sob was heard from the former thug. For years, Levi learned to bottle up his pain, grief, and any emotion to be a numb human. Now, he finally shattered every wall he built. The tears dripped on the floor and a scream of years bottle up was let out. This is how Eren Jaeger felt when something in him spark of anger and determination was let out. Levi continues letting out  his emotions until he finishes. WIth his strength, the Eldian soldier gets up slowly. 

“How are you feeling now, grandson?” the whisper of his grandfather said. Levi Ackerman wasn’t the type to hug. The only exception is Historia and few people in the past that are long gone. He wraps his arm around his grandfather to hug him. For the first time since he was a boy, his inner child is awake from a long hibernation. His inner child craves comforts and affection from a blood relative since his parents are long gone. His grandfather is the closest parent he will ever get now. Tch, his dead uncle, Kenny Ackerman was never a parent material. 

Bill gladly accepts his grandson’s hug. His grandfatherly gesture comforts Levi. Bill held him tight not wanting to let go. For a few months since both of them met face to face, it was nothing bitter and distant well at least from Levi’s part. Bill had tried to reach out to his only family member. He too lost so much. His sons, wife, his parents, and his friends from the Brotherhood. Both Miles men sacrifice so much for what price? To have their loved ones died either way? 

“Is it too late to ask you to be accepted as a Miles? I’m ready to be an assassin. To be your grandson, grandfather. I want to protect my friends, comrades, the people of Pardis Isle, family: you, Historia and our unborn. I want to win this war so my descendants can live in peace. I promise I’ll listen to you whenever you’ll mentor me in the way of an assassin.” Levi vowed. 

“Of course, my boy. You have always been a Miles. My blood runs in your veins, but we can legalize it if that’s what you mean.” The old man chuckles. 

“I will still have Ackerman as part of my last name. I want to honor my mother’s heritage also as an Eldian. My children will have those two proud names when they come to this world.” He continues. 

“Also, I want to find my mother’s remains. She deserved to be buried in a better place then in this shitty ass underground.” Levi said. Already, the raven haired man let go of his hugs from his grandfather. 

“Yes, we can do that too. I think we can have her buried alongside with your father in South Dakota where his remains lay to rest.” This made Levi give his rare smile at his grandpa. 

“Yeah, I would appreciate that, gramps.” He nods. 

After their heartwarming moment, Levi and William go back to the bartender and hand him the key. Before leaving, Levi asked one vital question. 

“Did your grandfather say anything of where he buried the remains of Kuchel Ackerman?” He asked. 

The bartender was thinking carefully trying to remember. “What my old pa used to mention, Kenny the Ripper guy, he dragged that body and asked us to be buried  anywhere we see fit. So my grandpa is buried in our family’s little graveyard. I can show you where she was buried.” 

“Thanks, I apprenticed for it. One more time. You got a shovel?” Levi asked. 

(The Orphanage Farm) 

Historia Reiss-Ackerman was helping some of the caretakers to make supper for the children. She sniffed the aroma of the chicken and potatoes stew. Oh the queen can’t wait to save some for Levi when he returns from his mission. Her belly is big and round already. Now she’s almost seven months until the baby is ready to come out. Most of the time, Historia takes many naps or just reads a nice book under the shade of a tree during a sunny day. Summer is almost over, and most likely this child will be born by October. 

How time passed by when it seemed just like yesterday, Levi and Historia were fooling around to fill their void with lusts. Her sparkle blue eyes glances down at her wedding band on her ring finger. This was never her plan to fall in love, become queen, get pregnant, get married, now preparing for war and for the birth of her child. This was too much for her if she was back then pretending to be Christa. That girl, Christa, was too soft, kind, and afraid to be herself. Historia despised that part of her. 

If it wasn’t for her being Christa, she wouldn't have met her friends, gaining valuable life tips from Ymir. Ymir was more than a dear friend to her. The tough Ymir was her guardian angel. She was always there to protect and cherish her. This is something Historia will keep in her heart. Beside her sweet older sister, Frieda, Ymir had loved her and reminded her how worthy she is. 

The queen touches her cheek when tears roll down from her eyes. Ugh, it would be great if she would stop shedding tears every time Historia thinks about Ymir. The blonde woman wipes them away. Once the stew simmer, she turns off the stove then lightly stir the stew before covering the huge pot with a lid. The main dining table was already set up for the children and caretakers to eat dinner. 

Historia turns to call for one of the staff. “Emily, would you let everyone know that dinner is ready, please?” The woman nods with a smile. “Of course, Your- I mean Historia.” The light haired woman blush from feeling embarrassed forgetting the first rule in this Orphanage. The young queen made it clear to everyone in this establishment that to call her by her name. So, there;s no your grace, your majesty, or my queen. Just Historia. She wants to feel normal for once in a while. The royal life can be drainful. How did her late sister or any members of her estranged family had dealt with it?

The woman Emily already walked away to announce dinner is ready. Meanwhile Historia places her hand on her watermelon size belly to bend down to open the lower cabinet and takes out a medium size pot to pour some stew into it. The one thing her husband loves when he comes back from his missions is her cooking. Historia makes his favorite dishes like stews, pot pies, and anything related to bacon. 

She placed the other pot on the countertop next to the stove. A strong kick was felt in her belly. Historia smiles from feeling the baby being activated. “You’re hungry as well?” her hand rubs on her stomach. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ll eat soon.” 

The queen uses a wooden spoon to scoop out the stew and pour into the other pot until it's full. She left the other pot on the countertop to cool off a bit while serving a bowl of stew to everyone. Of course, the staff woman, Emily, has come back to help her serve the kids their meals. 

The dining table is full of kids and the staff who work here. They are like one big family. There are chattering conversations from left and right. Some kids play with their food and others bite down to rip the bread rolls that were freshly baked earlier. 

Historia ate the stew quietly while listening to certain conversations. She took a glimpse at the window to see if Levi had come back yet. The view was getting dark as the sun’s rays disappeared slowly from the horizon. 

The blonde haired beauty got up then said goodnight to everyone, but the children ran to her to give her a hug. Historia smiles from embracing these innocent kids. When she and Levi started to build this orphanage with the special squad help of course, Historia vowed to give love affection to these kids whenever she comes here to stay for temporary. Some of the caretakers jokingly tell her; both Levi and Historia are like the mother and father with the kids. 

At first Historia panicked they knew about their relationship and they might or had spread their secret to anyone. Fortunately, the queen had an informal staff meeting to clear the air if they knew something’s going on between her and the captain. She was ready to deny any claims until the same woman, Emily, spoke out that they did figure out their relationship, but they will respect it by keeping it to themselves in this household. This made the queen sigh in relief.  

Some of the staff who are close to Historia’s age, asked questions on how they met, and oh how romance and forbidden their love is. Their love is forbidden and romance but it’s not all glamorous as fairytale books like to mislead you. All the heartbreak, arguments, and happinesses are worth enduring. In the end, their bond grew stronger and tougher to break. 

(Flashback)

A year ago…

The aftermath of their unexpected one night stand in Levi’s quarter, Christa Lenez aka Historia Reiss was washing the dishes. She volunteered doing cleaning kitchen duty for the morning while most of her friends and comrades did their assigned chores from Captain Levi’s orders. 

She can’t believed Captain Levi and her had sex a month ago. These past weeks, all the small female soldiers could think of her captain in a very erotic imagination. 

Her cheeks became warm and reddish from thinking in such profanity to her higher up officer. The biggest question Christa wanted to know was what are they now? She remembered what he said to her before proceeding in taking her virginity. Once he takes her, he will not share her with anyone. So what the hell does he mean? Since the day after, he avoids her like she’s some deadly plague. It had hurt her because maybe she had hoped she was not the only one who felt something like they had become one with each other. 

The meekly soldier shook her head in trying to forget these thoughts. It won’t matter anyways because Levi made it clear in his action that whatever had happened between them was nothing. Christa was used to not being loved especially how she was raised by her estranged mother until her death when she was a little girl by some man named Kenny Ackerman. Her father just stood there to let it happen. After the incident, she was sent away to some random family in Wall Rose in a town of District Trost. 

The family who took her in were one of her father’s connections. The Dinkles were worshipers of The Three Walls. Every morning the household must pray to the Walls or get punished. Christa used to worship in order to gain her foster family’s affection, but they were distant and cold to her. In their eyes, she’s a product of sin and lust; a bartard as Mr. Dinkles had spewed her constantly. No matter what she does to try to please them, they somehow punished her. That’s when the girl began to realize how worthless and a burden she was to this cruel world. There were times she attempted to end her life. Of course, Mr. Dinkles lectured and punished her more that she would go to hell if she succeeded. So Christa had tried to not do it. When she got older, her foster parents sent her to join the military since that was the deal her father made with the Dinkles. Good riddance that she did because it was hell being with the Dinkles. 

Christa frowned from the memories of her childhood after watching her own mother being killed in front of her. The adolescent soldier was not aware when a fellow soldier from the Scouts leaned against the countertop in a cocky attitude. “Hey there dollface, maybe after you finished, wanna take a stroll in town with me?” 

The blonde haired girl stopped washing to turn at the male soldier. “No, thank you. I must finish other chores that Captain Levi ordered me to do before the end of the day.” She politely declined him. 

“Ah come on, cutie. I’m sure the Captain will not notice. Let me treat you to dinner and maybe we can have some fun afterward.” The male soldier roamed his fingers on one of her sides. Goosebumps form on her skin from male human contact. 

“I said, no, thank you.” She frowned at what this guy's real intentions were. She may have slept with the captain but that doesn’t mean she’ll give herself easily to anyone. Christa had learned her lesson.

“Don’t be stubborn. You will miss out on having a cock giving you pleasure. Since Ymir girl is not here to cockblock some of the guys here that wanted you, you are like an angel waiting to be tainted by one of us.” He smirked. 

Christa had enough listening to this asshole. She is tired of being the too nice girl, Christa. Only her friends and Section Commander Hange, Commander Erwin, and Captain Levi knew who she really is. The petite soldier finished her chores then walked away from the creep. 

The guy grinned down his teeth angrily. Who does this bitch think she is? Every girl the guy talked to, they either blushed or flirts back. He never was rejected. His arm wrapped around her waist before Christa was out of his reach. Christa or Historia panic a bit from his bold advances on her. She wiggled from trying to escape from his grasp. No, she will not be weak. She can’t be weak anymore. She will be strong. She must be strong. Goodbye Christa Lenez, no more the sweet naivete girl. From now on Historia Reiss will rise. 

Something in her snapped and jabbed hard his rib then butthead his stomach. The guy fell on his knees while clenching his stomach from pain. “What the fuck, you bitch?! You will pay for that.” He glared at her.  Her eyes widened from being astonished at her strength. 

The guy grabbed her ankle to make her fall on the hard floor. The blue eyed girl kicked her legs to be away from him. He pounced on her which she was trapped under the male soldier. Shit, what can she do to escape now? Her heart beats in fear from what he will do to her if she doesn’t find a way to run away. “Let go of me.” She yelled at him. 

The creep smirked in victory. “Why should I? This wouldn’t happen if you agreed to go out with me, dollface. Now, you will know the consequence for rejecting me.” His hand already traveled on her body. Historia felt his touch replusing. Only Levi’s touch was warm and rough but also gently. This creep’s touch was uncomfortable and just terrible. The female soldier cried in distress. She, still trying to fight him off then glared hatefully at her soon to be rapist. Historia spit on his face. 

“Yuck, you little whore. Now, I will make you feel pain.” He slapped her face. Her cheek sting from his attack. Historia closed her eyes to imagine the night with Captain Levi to get through this nightmare. 

“Tch, looks like you should be the one to feel pain.” A deep baritone voice appeared in the kitchen. 

Historia felt the heavy weight of the guy was off of her. She opened her eyes to see her captain pinning the creep on the wall. The same guy was scared to death from seeing an enraged Captain Levi. The raven haired man usually doesn’t have that expression unless killing Titans. 

The tiny soldier gets up  to walk towards Levi. “C-captain please, don’t do something regretful. 

Levi had a knife pressed on the guy’s neck. Historia saw it as she got closer. She needed to stop her captain before he got in trouble instead of the true culprit. 

On the other hand, Levi sees red and already thought of thousands ways to use this knife on this pig. How fucking dare this brat touched and harmed Historia? He heard a soft familiar voice trying to talk him out. 

“Trust me, I won’t regret it.” His tone became chillingly dark. 

“Please....sir. He will get the punishment he deserves by Commander Erwin.” She pleaded with Levi which he glanced at her to see her beautiful blue eyes  begging him to stop. The captain growled as he put the guy down but still grip his shirt. 

“You should be thankful that she showed you mercy otherwise you would have been in pieces. We will go to the Commander and you will fucking explain to him what you were about to do to Historia, a fellow soldier who’s part of my squad. Is that clear, you shithead cunt?” He said in a cold tone. The other soldier nodded in fear. “Tch. Come soldier, we’ll need your testimony to Commander Erwin.” He glanced at the petite beauty. He can see the hand mark on her soft creamy skin tone cheek. 

Levi prayed to the Walls for Erwin to let him tortured this pussy brat. He dragged the whimpering boy to Erwin’s office. Historia follows the captain silently. Once Levi reported what had happened in the kitchen and made the creepy brat explain what he did and almost planned to do to Historia, Commander Erwin had the cunt arrested for assaulting sexually and physically on a fellow soldier. This was unacceptable in a time like this. So Erwin had the MPs take away the soldier. 

After the drama, Historia and Levi were in his room. The captain was attending to her injury as it formed a bruise within hours. His hands were soft and delicate on her skin. This is right. His touch was the only thing that brought her comfort from the traumatic experience. 

“H-how are you feeling?” Levi was concerned for his subordinate. 

Historia was quiet but she looked into his steel grey eyes as tears fell from hers. This was all too much for her. It was not just almost being raped but how hot and cold Levi had treated her after that night. She was so confused. Deep down what they had done was wrong, but she can’t help feeling the fire that ignited her spirit. Levi had awoken her willingness to keep on living. She doesn’t want to let go of that fiery feeling. 

“I-I don’t know, Captain.” The blonde beauty whispered. 

“Historia, call me Levi.” He said. 

This made her snapped. “Why are you doing this?” She tried to contain her emotions. 

“What are you talking about?” The older man was confused. 

“You have been treating me like I’m some disease but there were rare times you treat me like we have been lovers for a long time. So what is it that you want from me. Levi? You can’t keep giving me misleads and expect me to be ok about it. Because I know what I want. What do you want?” She looked into his eyes while standing her ground. 

Levi was astonished that this meek girl had the balls to confront him. To be honest, the captain doesn’t know how to respond to her attacks. Ever since that night, he can’t stop thinking of her. He wants her, but there were many reasons Levi shouldn't have tried to pursue this girl. Most of the women he was with, they had met their doom. From Jessie to Petra, what makes Historia any different from the others? The blonde soldier deserved to be with someone who will give her comfort, stability, and love. 

Levi can’t offer any of it. He only can give his leadership to survive the missions. Somewhere deep in him, had been controlling his decisions when it’s involved Historia. 

That stupid Iapteus suddenly decided to show up and makes it difficult to detach himself from Historia. 

Iapetus rarely gets involved with Levi’s personal life since he let his host have free will. That free will had diminished when he met the cute female soldier on her graduation from being cadets. His head was giving awful headaches. Then he heard a deep monstrous like voice in his head screaming “mine, mine, mine” 

Tch, his titan is like a greedy kid that can’t shut the fuck up. He noticed Historia was waiting for his reply. 

“I…” That's all he can say. This disappointed her. She gets up from the bed to start walking towards the door. Historia just wanted him to be honest, but it seems he couldn’t answer her questions. The blue eyed girl felt tears falling again. 

Levi shook his head in disbelief of himself. This petite woman somehow has power over him. He should have let her leave and ended whatever that had in a very short period of time. This is for the best for both of them. But no Levi doesn’t want her to walk away from him. His soul yearned for this goddess-like girl. 

“Hold on.” He finally spoke as his hand snatched her wrist to stop her. 

“I’m sorry...I didn’t want to cause you pain.” He whispered. 

“I just want to know what does that make us? I felt something between us, perhaps I’m being silly and imagining you also feel that too.” She tried to wipe her tears from her eyes. 

Levi was too quiet again, but he used actions to speak loudly. So, the raven haired man pulled her towards him. Historia felt his solid tone chest when her body pressed against his. The older man wrapped his arms around her to hold on to her. 

“I want you, but I’m scared if I get closer to you; something terrible will happen to you. I can’t lose another person who matters to me again.” Levi finally said what he wanted to say. 

“I understand. I am also scared too, but what’s the point of living and be happy if we let fear consume us. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow or in 5 years or 20 years if fate granted us that privilege. Levi, would it be better to give it a shot at us?” She glanced at the man.  

Levi stared into those pretty blue eyes and moved her golden blonde hair away from her face to see it better. 

“I-if we do this, just promise me you won’t leave me too soon.” His hand caresses her soft cheek. 

“As long you don’t leave me as well.” Historia smiled with joy. She leaned to kiss his lips. 

(End Flashback)

Historia had already left the dining room in the main Orphanage building. She had the porcelain container of the stew she had made for supper. The queen walked on the stone pathways that led her to a cottage house behind the property she now owns being the last member of the Reiss family. 

The sun had set down for the day. The sky was clear and dark, only the stars and the full moon shined to give some light. The August breeze passed by her which her dress lightly flowed. When she became the owner of her late father’s property, both Levi and Historia not only built the orphanage but also a cottage to have some privacy for them. 

The cottage they built looked like one of those fairytale stories she used to read them as a child. At first, Levi teased her in his usual jerk way about having her dream home. He was a practical man, but with convincing she made a design plan so he can see what she visualized. 

The pregnant queen unlocked the door to enter the house then closed it. Since lights weren’t installed yet, Historia used a candlestick to light up once the container of stew was placed on the table in the kitchen. 

She looked at the time to see it’s late and sighed. Guess, Levi might not get home tonight. Historia decided to make tea before she headed to bed. This baby had been too active with kickings and movings around. Was Levi active too when he was in his mother’s womb? That’s something she won’t have the luxury to know. 

“Aren’t you exhausted, sweetheart?” The woman blonde whispered to her unborn child. In response, she felt a kick. 

“So a no.” She chuckled then heard the kettle whistling as the water was ready to be used. 

While she was preparing the tea, the sound of horses from outside was heard. The queen stopped what she was doing to speed walk outside of the cottage. By the time the petite woman reached the front of the building of the orphanage, a figure on his horse galloping towards the entrance of the estate. 

Historia smiled to see it was Levi. As he got closer to her, Levi spotted his wife waiting for him outside. 

“Oi woman, why are you up late? Should you be in bed? It’s past your bedtime.” Finally her husband arrived. He got off his horse. Historia didn’t bother to answer him as she hugged him to welcome him home. 

“Levi! I’m happy you’re home safe and sound.” She nuzzled his chest. 

“Of course, I did promise you, I’ll come back tonight. Didn’t I?” He gave a warm smile to her then embraced her hugs. 

“How hungry are you? Because I made your favorite stew.” She grinned. 

“Chicken and potatoes stew?” His stomach growled all of the sudden. Levi hasn’t eaten since breakfast. Today was emotional for him. He lost his appetite when His grandfather offered to buy him supper earlier. He declined politely which Bill was understanding. 

“Mhm with bacon bites.” She added. Levi was a sucker when it comes to bacon. 

His expression shifted to a child-like. “Well what are we waiting for? Let’s go eat. I’ll meet you in the cottage once I put Beauty in her stall.” He said. 

Historia nodded and gave him a peck on his cheek. Both went in opposite directions. Levi went into the horse stable. Just when he was about to enter, the stable man came out in a rush to help out Levi. 

“Welcome back Captain Levi. I hope you had a good day, sir.” He said with a smile. 

“Tch thanks. Could you give Beauty her carrots, she had earned it.” Levi stroked the horse nose gently to show affection. 

“Yes, sir. I will.” He saluted to show the veteran with respect. The captain nodded to acknowledge. “Alright, good. Well, goodnight. Sam.” He started to head out. 

“Goodnight, sir.” The stable man, Sam said. 

The raven haired man walked back the same direction to get the cottage. As he opened the door to the front of the cottage, he spotted the candlelights from the kitchen. Once he reached there, Historia was setting up for Levi to eat on the table. She poured two cups of tea then placed one for her husband and the other for herself. Levi sat down on the chair to see a bowl of stew in front of him. On the left, a roll of bread was placed close to the bowl. On the right, his cup of tea and a spoon ready for the stew. 

“You’re not gonna eat?” He noticed his wife only had a cup of tea in front of her. 

“I already had supper, but don’t worry. I’m still here to company you while you eat.” Historia reassured him. 

“Hm, ok.” As long as she had food in her belly, he doesn’t need to be concerned at the moment. 

While Levi began eating his stew, Historia started the conversation. “How was the mission with Bill?” 

The captain stopped eating to find the words of what he went through. “It was shit hell.” 

Historia frowned then placed her tea cup on the saucer to reach out his hand. “What had happened? A-are you ok?” She was worried. 

“I found out that my dad wasn’t a shithead who left my mom when she was pregnant. He went on his mission that got him killed. I can show you better than to explain it.” He gets up to go to the living room and open his carrier bag to pull out the Apple of Eden sphere. Historia looked at the object with curiosity and was amazed. 

Levi held it as it activated then a hologram of his father appeared. The queen gasped in surprise at how advanced this technology was. She was listening to what the man in the hologram said. Carefully, the queen observed some traits between Levi and his father shared. They both have similar posture when they sit. He inherited his father’s jawline. Most of it Levi got from his mother, but still the young woman can’t believe this man was his father. 

After the hologram of Jacob Miles finished talking, the image disappeared. She glanced at Levi then went to hug him tightly. “Oh Levi, your father has always loved you.” 

She was glad for her husband to have loving parents who went great lengths for Levi to be protected and born with love even if it was a very short amount of time. A part of her envy him. At least, her husband will have closure that his father did want him. 

“I told grandfather that I’m ready to take it seriously on being an assassin.” He said. 

“That’s great news, my love. We’ll kick ass together.” She said jokingly.

“We? You’re still pregnant. I’m not gonna let you kick anyone ass when you’re in that condition.” Levi scoffed. 

“I’m aware that I’m still pregnant, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be pregnant all the time. Eventually, I’ll participate in missions.” Historia pouted. 

“Like I’ll allow you to do any missions. You're a queen. You should be focusing on running a nation.” He mumbled. 

“You know damn well, I’m capable of doing both. If I must join the Brotherhood to protect and rule our people, then I will do it without your permission.” She glared at her husband. 

“Historia, I preferred you not get involved.” He growled low. Historia placed her hand on her hip to gesture in not giving in. 

“What do you mean not to get involved? Levi, I’ve been involved the moment you decided to go great length into convincing me to be queen by choking me. So, it’s too damn late for me not to get involved.” Her tone was firm. 

The captain glared with his steel grey eyes at his wife. He was silent from her comment. She does have a point, but why can’t she understand that he wants to protect her to make sure she lives longer. 

“You’re one stubborn woman.” That’s all he could say as his eyes looked away from her. 

“Of course I am. You married one. My love, I understand your intention. You want to protect me, and I’m grateful for that; but I am not a damsel in distress or I don’t want to be one. I am tired of being weak and staying on the side lines. It kills me to see that soon our soldiers are going to have to fight in the war while I stay locked in some safe house. I feel I will have blood in my hands for not doing anything! I should be going to war with all of you to fight or at least motivate our soldiers that we are going to survive and thrive to have our freedom to live as human beings.” 

Levi sigh then reached out to grab her hand to pull her towards him. Historia let’s him and sits on his lap. 

“Baby, you don’t have to feel a burden of not doing anything. You are already contributing so many things to give up hope to fight the war. I know the Scouts are motivated because they have a queen who is compassionate, honorable, and makes changes for the people. They called you the queen’s people. You know the noblemen feel threatened because you inspire the common people in Paradis to have the power to make their destiny. Besides they will fight for their lives, families, and friends; they will fight for their queen. I will fight for my queen. You’re so special to all of us, my love.” His words were encouraging. Historia couldn’t help to smile. She leans to kiss him sweetly. 

“Oh Walls Levi, I love you so much.” She whispered between their kisses. 

“I love you so much too, Historia. I promise you. Everything will be ok. I will make it alive so we can be together to raise our child when she or he is born.” His forehead pressed on to hers. 

“Please do. I need my other half to be complete., baby.” She stroked his hair softly.

“As you wish...”  he said. 

Both couples stayed in the same position to embrace this beautiful moment. Who knows what could be in stores for them. 

A/N: You think the last chapter was the longest I wrote, but nope this one is definitely the longest. So my lovely readers, enjoy this chapter. There will be more to come. I’ll see you all until the next chapter. Peace and love everyone.