#and I think it’s gotten enough of a reevaluation

[bereft-of-frogs]

I had such a series of bizarre nightmares:

- I went to see The Phantom Menace on Saturday and it was this huge packed theater and everyone else was just there to laugh at it and throw things at us (something that I am actually afraid of happening on Saturday 🙃)

- I was held captive in a public restroom with like 6 other people but all I could think about was being nervous about making a phone call (which I do have to do today)

- my boss was yelling at me because I made a really serious error of not setting the alarms, which is not something I have to do and wouldn’t make any sense to have me do because I’m far from the last to leave the building but they just kept shaking their heads and going ‘this was a bad day. This was a really bad day’ (totally irrational)

So that’s fun

[bloodcoveredgf]

having a revelation. red velvet cake is Not my favorite kind of cake

[kotoku]

ꜱᴜɴᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀɪɴᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴛᴇᴇɴ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

pairings - sunday & teen! reader / aventurine & teen! reader

content - reader is gender-neutral/not a lot of angst/mainly fluff/sibling or family dynamics/ kind of a found family fic (?)

warnings - none

⋘ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ... ⋙

↻ I imagine Sunday meeting you as a bellhop working alongside Misha, another bellhop, who welcomes distant travelers to Penacony  

↺ If you’re a bit clumsy like Misha and accidentally spill some luggage after tripping over a hill in the rug, he’d stumble across your defeated form scattering to pick up the fallen belongings 

↺ He’d offer his assistance in organizing the fallen trolley, assessing if you had gotten hurt when you had tripped

↻ Because Sunday’s many responsibilities are to ensure people are following the rules and regulations during their stay in Penacony, he’d come across you on multiple occasions in the hotel lobby

↺ It seems like you were a fairly new worker, asking your coworkers about certain things and needing some guidance with doing things

↺ However, for the most part, you were an inquisitive and hard worker, Sunday noted

↻ One day, he would find you wandering Golden Hour, looking around at the shops curiously while holding a couple of bags

↺ He had conversed with you a couple of times, having small chats during breaks before the two of you had to return to your duties

↺ Sunday had decided to say hi, asking if you were enjoying some of the few renovations done to the dreamscape

↻ At first, you were startled at his sudden appearance, confused about why he approached you

↺ You would then answer his question, stating that you were enjoying some of the shops that had just opened up since it was your day off

↺ Sunday would give you a recommendation, a place that had recently been buzzing with customers as their food selection was one of the best Golden Hour had to offer

↺ Excitedly, you’d thank him for the tip and bid farewell to him, watching him fade in the distance

↻ When you and Sunday had gotten closer together, he’d kinda adopt you as a younger sibling

↻ On the days the both of you weren’t busy, he’d take you to see some of the events that are happening in Penacony (or different locations that he thinks you would like)

↺ Spending his time with you reminded him of the time he used to spend with Robin when the two of them were younger

↺ Watching you bubble with excitement when you saw something you liked, asking him if it was a good idea to get it reminded him of old times 

↻ One time, you jokingly call him old which made him reevaluate his life a bit (did he really seem that old??)

↺ You grew a bit worried when he didn’t respond, watching him hold his chin in deep thought (he snapped out of it after you shook him a bit)

↻ Sunday would take on the role of an older brother to you, fretting whenever you got injured while working and spoiling you rotten with trinkets he had found

↻ He would feel bad whenever he has to turn you down when he’s busy, promising to find a time when he is free from work to accompany you on what you’ve planned 

↺ If it was a limited-time event, he’d feel especially bad, planning to treat you to something to make up for the lost time (you tell him not to worry but he insists)

↻ Something that became routine for the both of you would be tea time (or going out to a restaurant)

↺ During these sessions, you and Sunday would talk about your week/day, basically spending the time talking and sometimes even gossiping about some of the rumors heard around Penacony

↺ You were careful about rumors that concerned The Family, not wanting to upset Sunday, so you mainly focused on small gossip circling around work

↻ Something that interested you about Sunday was his wings, and when the two of you hung out more, you asked him about them

↺ He explained to you about Halovians and the experiences he had with them (how he had to clean them, take care of them, etc…)

↺ If the two of you are closer enough, he’d allow you to touch them, chuckling as you gaped at them in amazement and wonder

↻ Sometimes when one of you is overworked and exhausted, the other would give a light scolding and have them rest on a nearby lounge chair, giving them a moment of rest 

↺ Sunday would offer you to rest on him, providing you his coat as a blanket and humming you to sleep 

↺ You would lead Sunday to his room, making sure he was resting comfortably after you brewed some tea for him (you’d softly close the door and resume your duties after making sure he was actually sleeping)

------

“I will be fine, _____. You do not need to worry about my well-being.” Sunday was seated on his couch in his lounge clothes, arms crossed as he watched you pour water into a kettle. 

Huffing, you turned on the heat and let the water boil, scavenging his cupboards for his tea packets. He couldn’t help but sigh when you ignored his protests, opting to lean against the couch and listen as you worked.

“You haven’t been getting much sleep for the past few days. I know that it’s been busy with the Charmony Festival in full swing, but you need to take care of yourself too, Sunday.” Setting down the finished cup of tea in front of him, you took a seat on a different chair next to him. 

Sunday blew on his tea, the smoke wafting away as he took a sip of the chamomile tea you brewed for him. 

There was a small silence between the both of you. You were fiddling with some of the accessories of your uniform, eyes cast towards the wooden coffee table. On the other hand, Sunday held his cup of tea with both of his hands, feeling the heat of the cup fade to a nice warmth. 

When Sunday had finished his tea, he set it down on the coffee table and relaxed into the soft material of the couch.

“I understand that you are concerned, _____. I promise to take better care of myself but know I will be fine.” Sunday assured you and your worries, opening his eyes to glance at you. You didn’t meet his eyes until you heard him get up from his spot on the couch, feeling a lightweight being put on your head. 

His hand lightly ruffles your hair, moving back to his side. “To ease your worries, I will be going to bed now.” 

You blinked at him before shaking your head. “Thanks, now get to bed old man.” “

I’m not that old, _____...” “Old man.” “Sigh…”

------

↻ Aventurine would meet you when you’ve just joined the IPC, becoming your superior and having you run errands or finish up paperwork 

↻ You, being the dedicated worker you are, would spend countless nights finishing projects and studying

↺ You would be so engrossed in reading something that you would accidentally bump into Aventurine from behind, stumbling back with your book falling to the floor 

↺ Massaging your temples, you would see a hand outstretched to you as an offer to help you up (which you graciously took)

↻ When you think back to that time when Aventurine helped you pick yourself up, along with your book, you flush in embarrassment and lightly berate yourself for not watching your surroundings

↻ Working with Aventurine had its perks and flaws, the perks being the pay and the flaws being the tasks and having someone so unpredictable as your boss

↺ You could never tell when Aventurine was joking or not (you found it hard to understand him so you just nodded along to the things he said)

↻ After a few months of working under him, the two of you started bonding over various things

↺ Although you were too young to gamble, you learned a couple tricks that Aventurine had when playing different card games with others (you also learned a few cheat hacks Aventurine does but we won’t talk about that)

↻ Aventurine was able to watch you slowly come out of your shell, becoming more talkative and friendly with him and your coworkers

↺ When he noticed your change in behavior, he was taken aback but was happy to embrace this newfound side of yours (he feels like a dad watching their child make friends)

↻ There is a hint of favoritism that Aventurine has with you, choosing to dote on you by purchasing various souvenirs and trinkets he gathered on his trips (they reminded him of you)

↺ A keychain? Consider it purchased. A snack basket? He already has it on hand. Aventurine spends his money like it’s nothing, especially when it comes to his kid (despite you being a teen, he still calls you ‘kid’ much to your dismay)

↻ Aventurine would definitely gossip with you about work, etc…

↻ Honestly, in a more modern (?) setting, he’d be that proud soccer mom who takes photos of his kid and boasts to the other soccer moms

↺ “You see that little rascal up there? That’s my kid!”

↻ At first, seeing you get along with Aventurine was a surprise to many, even Aventurine himself

↺ He didn’t really have friends, or at least, someone he could freely talk to about anything and everything

↺ He doesn’t really open up to you about his past until later, and even then, he tries not to be too descriptive as he doesn’t want to make you feel bad (but you still do)

↻ When you open up to Aventurine about your struggles, why you joined the IPC, etc.… he’ll see himself a bit in you, making him feel protective of you and this ultimately brings the both of you closer together

↻ Thinking about this dynamic the two of you share, Aventurine wonders if he would make for a good parent, despite the infamous reputation Sigonians have

↺ You’d notice him going quiet here and there as he looks like he’s deep in thought, waiting patiently for him to snap out of it, you’d watch as he resumes the conversation like nothing had happened

↻ If there is a chance you guys get to visit a planet together, especially if it is one that he is familiar with, he’ll give you a tour and take you to some of his favorite spots

↺ If it is one he isn’t familiar with, the two of you would look like lost children who are wandering around looking at popular spots

↻ Honestly, if you had the chance to meet Topaz, she wouldn’t understand how you can tolerate Aventurine’s behavior

↺ Nonetheless, Topaz is happy that her coworker has a connection with someone, finding the small family dynamic adorable (she’d never admit that to Aventurine)

↻ Of course, Aventurine would definitely tease you because you’re younger than him, acting like the annoying big brother he is

↺ “Huh!? Where did my chips go!? Aventurine!” “What~? Don’t look at me, I didn’t touch them.” “You’re such a liar! You have crumbs on your face! What– is that my drink that you’re holding!?” “...No..?” 

↻ Despite everything, you still enjoy spending time with your unexpected friend (and newfound family member)

------

“_____! Look at what I’ve brought~.” Aventurine sang, plopping a huge gift basket on top of your desk. The papers that were stacked fluttered a little, some falling around you onto the ground. 

You were startled at the unexpected gift, looking at all the luxurious gifts and snacks that were neatly displayed in a beautifully woven basket. The red and gold ribbon tying the clear bag at the top finished it nicely, giving it a clean yet expensive look. 

“Aventurine!? Just how much did you buy this for??” You gaped, examining the interior although the lightning made it a bit difficult to see. You could recognize a few items, all being pricey and popular on its original planet. 

“Bah! Don’t worry about it. I couldn’t help but get it since it included some of the things you were talking about before.” The way he was so casual about getting something expensive threw you off, but then again, this was Aventurine. Deciding to shake off the shock, you gave him a grateful smile. 

“Thank you, Aventurine.” “Don’t mention it, kid.” “I’m not a kid, Aventurine! If anything, you act more like one than me!” “Pff, good joke. Now get back to work, kid.” “Ugh.”

------

⋘ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ! ⋙

note - hope you guys enjoy this! i had fun writing this lol. there was actually two separate requests for an aventurine and sunday with a teen! reader, so i decided to write them together.

[cjlouwho]

Twelve Christmases

chapter tags: discussions of a burn victim (nothing graphic), discussions of suicide and mental health, very brief mentions of things that happened in past chapters (Tommy's mom, military, red handkerchief, implied noncon), anxiety, depression, background character death, Tommy calls the crisis hotline

read below or on ao3

Day 10: 2022

“I'm calling Roberts in early, you can go home.”

“Captain Marks-”

“No, Kinard! What you did out there was careless. You could've gotten yourself killed.”

“And if I'd done nothing, that man would be dead.”

“He's gonna wish he were dead if he ever wakes up! He's got third degree burns on over seventy percent of his body! I don't mean to be harsh, Tommy, but you risked your life for a dead man walking!”

“So?” 

Marks took a deep breath, sitting back in his chair. “I'm gonna pretend I didn't just hear you say that. I know emotions are high right now, but you know as well as I do I can't have a pilot that isn't concerned about whether they live or die.”

“That's not-”

“Stop talking, Kinard,” Marks warned. “You're on the ground for five shifts, I'll reevaluate things myself after that. If I have any hesitation, for even a moment, about your intentions here, you're getting a psych eval. That'll put you on the ground forever. You understand me?”

Tommy pursed his lips, nodding his head. “I understand.”

“Good. Now, go home, enjoy the rest of your Christmas, come back next shift with a clear head.”

*****

By the time Tommy got home, it was nearing ten o'clock at night. His brain was a jumbled mess. It didn't seem to matter how many times he hit the punching bag in his garage, it was never enough.

After a quick shower, he thought about laying down.

But even the idea of that made him want to crawl out of his skin.

So, he began to pace.

He paced, and paced, and paced, with his hands on his hips. From the living room, to the kitchen, down the hall, and back again.

It all felt like too much. He wasn't just thinking about today. He was thinking about his mom. He was thinking about the military. He was thinking about the red handkerchief. He was thinking about waking up in a stranger's apartment with no clue what happened the night before.

He was thinking, thinking, thinking, pacing, pacing, pacing, and he needed it all to stop.

Just stop!

So he did something he never thought he'd do.

He wasn't even sure what made him do it.

All he remembered was pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialing the number.

988.

“988 crisis lifeline, this is Penny. How can I help you today?”

He froze.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

He swallowed. Closed his eyes.

“I'm here.”

“Oh, good. May I ask who I'm speaking with?”

“Tommy,” no attempt to try for a fake name.

“Hi, Tommy! I'm Penny. I know I said it before, but I like to make sure the people I speak to heard me. Tommy, ca-”

“I'm not... I don't wanna kill myself,” Tommy interrupted, needing to make it clear. “I just needed someone to talk to.”

“Okay.” Her voice was soothing, familiar almost. A voice that Tommy hadn't heard in years. “That's what I'm here for, Tommy. What's on your mind?”

He tried to think of what to say. Tried to figure out the perfect way to start the conversation.

He was usually so put together.

But everything felt off.

“I hate Christmas.”

He wasn't sure why that was the first thing that popped into his brain at this moment, but it was out there now.

“A lot of people have complex feelings about holidays. It can be tough sometimes, no doubt about it.”

The tiny admission seemed to open a floodgate for Tommy. “My mom was thirty-eight when she died, and I'm thirty-eight now,” he explained. He was sure the words coming out of his mouth were just as jumbled as the thoughts in his head. “And she- she didn't die around Christmas. She actually died in June, so I don't know why I keep thinking about her today of all days, but I do. Not just her; I'm thinking about a lot of things. But it all sort of leads back to her at the end, I guess.”

“Was Christmas important to her?” Penny asked.

“She loved it when I was really little. Always liked looking at the lights and taking me to the mall to pick out things I wanted. I think my dad ruined Christmas for her though.”

“He wasn't big on the holiday?”

“He wasn't big on family. Looking back, I can see how being with him changed her. I didn't recognize it back then.”

“You were young. She probably didn't want you to recognize it.”

Tommy sighed, giving himself a moment to gather his thoughts. “She didn't get thirty-nine Christmases, you know? And that doesn't really seem fair. Because I'm here for my thirty-ninth Christmas and I don't even like the damn day. She deserved more. She deserved better.”

“It's never easy to understand why the people we love get taken from us too soon. It can be especially difficult when we lose them as a child.”

Tommy let out a humorless laugh. “She didn't get taken from me,” he bit out, “she left me.”

There was a pause on the line, then, “I'm sorry?”

“Yeah, she uh, she made that choice to leave herself. Stuck me with my dad, who never really gave a crap about me in the first place, and she... she was just gone.”

“I'm sorry about that, Tommy. That's a lot to have to deal with as a kid.”

“I don't ever talk about it, about her. I don't really have anyone to talk about it with. My dad never cared for emotions, so I just plaster a smile on my face and put my shoulders back and keep going.” Tommy shook his head, clearing his throat and wiping away the tears that were pooling in his eyes. “That's not why I called though. Not because of her.”

“Okay,” Penny replied. “Tell me why you called, Tommy.”

Tommy rolled his shoulders, trying to rid himself of some of the tension running through his body. “I did something stupid at work today, and I knew better. I just didn't care.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

“I work for the fire department. I'm a firefighter pilot, but today I was on the ground. We were called to a fire at this house- well, more like a mansion- and we thought we had the place cleared. Then the daughter started yelling for her dad. I headed back inside and found him, um,” Tommy paused, taking in a shaky breath.

“It's okay, Tommy. Take your time.”

“He- He was at the source of the fire. A fairly large space heater exploded and the fire had spread quickly. The house was about to collapse, and I was being told to get out, but I stayed. Long story short, I was able to get the man out right before the structure collapsed. He was severely burned though. If he makes it, and it's a big if, he's going to wish he hadn't. My captain won't let me fly for a while now. Sent me home early.” He let out a humorless laugh. “I wasn't even supposed to work today. I took the shift because I hate this damn holiday.”

“You've mentioned that three times now,” Penny noted.

“What?”

“How much you dislike Christmas. Tommy, do you think that maybe the risk you took today had something to do with the fact it's Christmas? Emotions were already high, making you take risks you wouldn't usually take?”

“Hm,” Tommy hummed. “Maybe? I don't really know though, because I feel like I'm ready to take those same risks any day, anytime. I said it before, and I meant it, I'm not trying to die. I just... I don't think I care if I do. It didn't matter to me if I didn't make it out. We're all gonna die someday, you know? That's what I always figure. What's it matter if it's now?”

“I think it would matter to the people who love you. The people who care about you.”

“I don't think I know anyone well enough for them to be affected by my death.”

“Well, it would matter to me,” Penny replied matter-of-factly, and Tommy couldn't help but let out a laugh.

“I dunno, I can be kind of a bitch sometimes.”

“Thank God for that, I'd hate it if you were too perfect.”

“Well, I never said I wasn't perfect. Perfect and bitch can go together, right?”

“I think it's a great pairing.”

A smile lingered on Tommy's face. He couldn't remember the last time he spoke to someone so openly. “Penny?”

“I'm here.”

“Would you stay on the phone with me until Christmas is over?”

“Honey,” she answered, Tommy softening at the name, “I can honestly say there's nowhere else I'd rather be.”

Penny stayed on the phone with him until 12:01. She was willing to stay on the line longer, but by the time Tommy had watched the clock strike midnight, he was ready to go to bed.

He felt better. A little lighter than he had in a while.

He'd been in bed for about fifteen minutes, and was just dozing off when his phone buzzed.

It was Captain Marks.

The man from the house fire died on the operating table.

I know you wanted to save him, Tommy.

Unfortunately we can't save them all.

Tommy stared at the texts for a good ten minutes before switching over to the phone app and dialing 988 again.

[luxcuriousao3]

Dove: A Zombie Ghost Story (Chapter Two)

Summary: He shuffled back some, giving her plenty of space. Enough that she could get out of her hiding spot and run away, if she wanted to. He would follow her again if she did, a hidden, monstrous protector. But he didn't want to hide. He wanted to be next to her, to have her ask him more questions, to not be alone, anymore… Word Count: 2129 Warnings: no smut this chapter (this fic is the slowest of burns y'all, strap in for a looooong ride), vague, brief references to unspecified abuse in the OC's backstory, semi-graphic violence, POV switches denoted by line breaks Notes: This is by far the shortest chapter in this fic as it currently stands. I am thinking of doing a double update today to make it up to the few of you who read this, whoever you are XD let me know if that is something y'all would like. AO3, Masterlist

Lelia woke up slowly, sore and confused. She wasn’t in the bed she shared with Andrew, back at the base, stealing precious hours of sleep in the time that he was gone, unable to relax when he was lying next to her. No, she was somewhere else, somewhere that smelled of damp earth and—rot?

Lelia opened her eyes, trying to figure out where she was—and then screamed at the nightmarish sight that greeted her.

Milky white eyes stared at her through a dirty, broken skull mask. The zombie’s jaw hung open, bloody, grey flesh peeled away from its sharp teeth and blackened gums, leaving them exposed threateningly. Lelia tried to back away, but she was cornered, stuck in a trap of her own making.

It was then that the events of last night came back to her, and she sucked in a breath as she realized the zombie in front of her, who was now groaning quietly as it—moved away from her? What?—was the same one from last night, the one that had scared off all the others that had left her stranded in a tree. The one that had almost seemed to understand her when she’d begged for help, and then for it to go away…

***

Ghost hadn’t left his little dove’s side all night, standing over her like her very own guard dog. The comparison would’ve bothered him, when he was human—but he was more beast than man, now, so he simply thought it was fitting.

The zombies he’d heard earlier had indeed caught his dove's delicious scent, but one deep, rumbling growl from him had scared them off when they’d gotten too close for comfort. He’d checked afterwards to make sure he hadn’t woken her, but the poor thing hadn’t so much as twitched. Her utter lack of survival instincts dumbfounded him. He had no idea how she’d made it this long. But he was oddly glad for it, even if it concerned him. The end of the world hadn’t taken her softness from her, and he knew it would have been just as intriguing to him when he was alive as it was now. Ghost had never had something soft in his life, and his undeath had stripped him of everything warm, too. She was both. It made him want to curl around her like a shield, and protect her from the horrors of the world. To keep that innocent spirit from breaking. And he could, now, in a way he wouldn't have been able to do before. Because he had no other purpose, anymore. She could give him one, and if only she’d let him stay, maybe she could give him some of that warmth and softness, too…

Hours later, he heard her begin to stir. He took another step back from her little hideout, but crouched down so she could see his face, his stiff knees creaking ominously. He knew it wasn’t exactly a comforting sight, but he hoped that she might be slightly less frightened if she recognized him from last night, the zombie that had saved her and then let her go, rather than thinking he was some random infected.

When she screamed bloody murder upon seeing him, though, he reevaluated. It had been quite a while since he’d seen his own reflection—maybe he looked even worse than he thought…

Ghost automatically raised his hands as if to show he wasn’t a threat. That only made her curl in on herself, though, like she was expecting him to lunge for her. Which, well, of course she was. He was a zombie. A flesh eating monster. And she smelled so good…

He grunted as he shook the thought out of his virus-laden brain. His little dove let out a small, terrified noise, burying her sweet face in her knees, so he stopped. He wished he could tell her that he wasn’t going to hurt her, but every noise or move he made only seemed to scare her further. How was he supposed to explain that he was different from the other walking corpses? That he wanted to protect her, not eat her?

He looked down at the dirt, and he had an idea. He clumsily swiped away the leaves and other debris, then began to drag his fingertips through the clean patch of dirt. He was trying to write a single word—safe—but as he went to draw the first letter, he realized he didn't know what it was.

The thought made him go still. How did he not know how to spell such a simple word? He was no genius, but he wasn’t a bloody idiot, either.

Ghost growled, frustrated and more than a little bit afraid. He didn’t want to admit what he knew to be true—that the virus had destroyed so much of his brain that he was now illiterate. It was maddening. It was terrifying. He’d already known he was just a shell of his former self, barely clinging to his humanity, and yet…

“Wh-why aren’t you trying to e-eat me?”

Ghost looked up so fast that his broken jaw wobbled precariously, almost looking like it was about to fall off. He reached up and tried to put it back into place, to seem just a tad more human, but it simply fell open again as soon as he let go, dangling uselessly. None of that mattered, though, because she was talking to him. For the first time since he’d been infected, he was having a conversation. He would have smiled if he could have, so bright that Johnny would’ve asked him who he was and what he’d done with the real Ghost.

Who’s Johnny?

Ghost didn't know the answer to that question, but he didn’t linger on the wisps of longing and grief that came with it, nearly giddy from his dove’s question. She looked like she didn’t truly expect him to understand her, let alone answer, but the fact that she’d asked at all was enough. This was his chance. He couldn’t fuck this up. He couldn’t.

He shuffled back some, giving her plenty of space. Enough that she could get out of her hiding spot and run away, if she wanted to. He would follow her again if she did, a hidden, monstrous protector. But he didn't want to hide. He wanted to be next to her, to have her ask him more questions, to not be alone, anymore…

He settled down onto the ground fully, and then stiffly patted the spot next to him, inviting her to come sit. He didn't expect her to, even if he hoped she would—he just wanted to show her that he wasn’t a mindless animal, nor a threat. He wished he had food to give her, or even just a blanket. Anything to prove that he came in peace, and that he was useful to have around.

***

“You… you want me to sit with you?”

Lelia could hardly believe the words coming from her mouth, or the sight in front of her. A zombie, staring at her rather than eating her, inviting her to come sit next to it. A zombie that bobbed its head at her question and let out a soft groan, like it was trying to say why yes, yes I do.

Lelia was officially insane.

“Are you going to eat me?”

She was crazy, and she was going even crazier for entertaining the notion that a walking corpse could understand her, could communicate with her. All the survivors on the base had said the infected ceased to be human the second they turned. The second they were bitten, in some of the more ruthless soldiers’ opinions.

She shivered at the memory. She didn't like soldiers. She didn’t trust them, not anymore. Not after what they’d done to her. And as she really looked at the zombie, she realized something terrible—he was one of them. Or he had been. It was all so confusing…

The zombie shook its head stiffly, broken, hanging jaw clacking as it jerked back and forth at the movement. It was incredibly disturbing. She looked away.

“I don’t know what to do,” she confessed in a whisper after a long moment, still not looking at the undead soldier. She didn't know why she was still talking to it. She should stop. She shouldn’t play into whatever delusion this was. But she couldn’t seem to control herself. “I don’t know how to survive out here. But I won’t go back. I won’t.”

The zombie made what could have been considered a questioning noise, if Lelia was insane. She turned to glare at its terrifying, rotting face and its black, bloody, ragged tactical gear.

“The military base,” she answered, like it had actually asked. Her narrowed eyes were haunted as she stared at it angrily, tears threatening to fall. “I know what evils you soldiers are capable of. And I won’t suffer them, not anymore. I’d rather be torn apart.”

The zombie groaned quietly, lowering its head, almost as if it was ashamed. Of what, she didn't know. Being military? Or its fellow soldiers’ cruelty? No. Lelia was just projecting. It was probably a groan of hunger.

She swallowed nervously at the thought, shifting like she was going to try and make a run for it, because she was. But the zombie’s gaze darted back up, and she froze. But when it didn’t move, she slowly began crawling out of her little tree hollow again, until she was standing over it’s crouched form, staring down into empty white eyes. Gathering her scraps of bravery, she turned her back on it and began walking away from it as quickly as she could, still too sore and tired to run like she wanted to.

She looked over her shoulder so many times during that first hour, she lost count. The zombie had followed her once already—what was to say he wouldn’t do it again?

That was, if it was even real. She had begun to convince herself it wasn’t, at least not this second time. It had to have been real last night, there was no other explanation as to how she was still alive. But today? There was just no way. It had seemed far too intelligent to be real, today. She’d practically had a conversation with it!

She shook her head, letting out a huff of disbelieving laughter. No. Last night had been an anomaly, a fluke, some sort of strange zombie infighting, maybe some territorial hierarchical dominance ritual…

Lelia was definitely losing it.

Finally, she felt confident enough that no zombie soldier, figment of her imagination or not, was following her, and she stopped bothering to check. She was on a mission to find… something. Something to eat, something to drink, somewhere safe and warm to rest. Just… something. Anything to help her live another day.

After several more hours, in which Lelia had truly begun to flag, fate took pity on her, and brought her to a run down cabin in the middle of the woods. She quickened her steps, stumbling through the door, desperate to get out of the cold.

She barely had a second to notice the infected waiting inside before it was upon her.

Lelia screamed, trying to get away, but the woman’s stumbling corpse held on tight, jaws snapping in her face. Lelia barely managed to keep it from biting her, using all her strength to hold it back. But her arms were already trembling, and with every second, the gnashing teeth were getting closer.

This is it, she thought, terrified. This is how I die.

Suddenly, the zombie was ripped off of her, and Lelia fell to the ground, watching with wide eyes as her zombie—the one she’d seen last night and hallucinated this morning—slammed the other against the wall, over and over again until it finally stopped moving. A dark patch of black blood stained the wood where its head had been after the undead soldier dropped it, and Lelia stared at it, dazed and confused.

Suddenly, she felt gloved hands on her body, quickly running up and down her limbs. She shrieked, kicking out as she tried to scramble away. Her foot connected with something hard, but it didn’t move. It just let out a familiar grunt and released her.

Lelia froze, her panic clearing enough to register her zombie standing over her, taking a step back as it let out a gurgling noise. It had touched her. It had killed the undead that was trying to eat her, and it had touched her. She’d felt it.

It wasn’t a hallucination. “You’re real,” she breathed, feeling dizzy at the realization. “You’re real, and you’re not eating me, and you’re— you’re protecting me. How? Why?”

[blegh-110]

okay i need a part two where she gets her own group and kinda starts acting like sam and she starts partying and hanging out with older boys to cope and sam gets all mad and jealous

unless you already have an idea either way i love ur fic 🙏🙏

fyi, anon is referring to "im not a princess, this aint a fairytale" part of older brother's best friend!sam. Honestly I was going to write this after I was finished with the whole series, but I'm kinda in a little writing rut right now and I've been wanting to write this since I got it so hopefully this will help with it. Anywaysss…

Let's say this happens, and Sam is at one of his high school parties where kids are drinking and doing drugs and all that kinda stuff, and he sees reader there across the room. That boy is beyond shocked!!

 He thinks it makes sense for him to be there, he's been making not so great decisions and hanging out with the wrong people lately. But you? He knows how much you hate big, loud crowds like this, as well as the smell of weed and smoke from cigarettes. He knows because the last time he saw you you had given you a quick side hug after convincing his teacher to let him out of detention, you quite literally scrunched your nose and turned your head when your nose made contact with his shirt. He and his friends had smoked a bit in the parking lot right before. 

So right when he sees you he’s wondering what the fuck are you doing here? And why? Do you have a ride home? Who did you come with?

Then he goes from concerned and confused to really fucking concerned and confused when he sees a boy handing you a drink and putting your hair behind your ears. He’s heard about this other guy and he’s a total asshole. He knows because he sits right next to a group of girls in his math class who absolutely hate him, apparently he cheated on one of them and just treated her horribly. As soon as he sees him touch you he’s storming towards you two, not caring who he shouldered and bumped into. 

“Alright, get the fuck away,” Sam pushed the other boy’s shoulder roughly, then grabbed your bicep and began pulling you with him, “lets go.”

“Sam, what are you doing?” You attempted to free yourself from his grip but he was just going through the crowd of people so fast that your feet couldn’t stop moving with him. Soon enough he had gotten you outside to his car. 

“C’mon.” He looked back at you expecting you to get in but you continued to stand in your place, the very last thing you wanted was to be near him.

“Does your brother know you’re here?” That was what broke you, if he found out he’d blow up on you. With defeated and frustrated tears in your eyes you got in the passenger seat, letting out an annoyed sigh when Sam closed the door for you. 

“I don’t know who you’ve been hanging out with, but you need to be careful around people like him.” You didn’t say anything in response, only staring out the window watching the cars go by and the silence killed Sam. He didn’t like that there was no confusion or worry at his words, so he continued talking, just so he could hopefully get something from you.

“I’ve heard some awful stuff about him, he probably looks like a nice guy but he’s not.” He looked at you, maybe he just didn’t see your reaction.

Nothing. 

“Guys like him, (Y/N), they’re gonna treat you like shit if you’re not careful.” He spit out, thinking if he was aggressive with his word then you would understand what you were getting yourself into. 

“That’s hard to imagine.” Is all you say and Sam is fully ready to stop the car, reevaluate everything he’s done and apologize but he keeps driving. This was not how he wanted it to happen. Not when you were already angry and not when he didn't have his thoughts all together. So he gripped the steering wheel tightly and sighed, trying to let out his growing frustration in silence. 

And when he was back home, he was up for another hour going insane wondering if that wasn’t your first party you’ve been to, and that maybe that wasn’t the first time you were out with the other guy (it wasn’t your first party and it wasn’t your first time with him lol).

[al-the-remix]

Six Sentence Saturday (or something like that)

Starting on my second bucktommy fic 😌 This was inspired by a post I'm pretty sure @unfuckablebogtroll made a few months ago that I can't find anymore, but the gist is that Tommy buys his house during the 2007/8 financial crash, refinances during covid, and has been saving since then to be able to renovate it himself. In this fic Buck's obviously going to volunteer to help Tommy out ( with his previous construction experience and all) and slowly insinuate himself into Tommy's home without either of them fully realizing it...at first. Buck learns Tommy as he learns more about his house: starting the inside and working outwards. Meanwhile Tommy learns how to let people help him and that Buck's really in it for the long haul ✨

“Hey, can I ask you a question?”

Looking over his shoulder, Tommy raises a brow. He’s elbow-deep in Evan’s kitchen sink, warm, sudsy water tickling his skin as he finishes the last of the dinner dishes. Evan made a chicken parm that had Tommy contemplating the existence of God and carefully planning the head he’d be giving his boyfriend later. As long as Tommy had known him–which was admittedly not very long–Evan has been a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy. More likely to barrel through any awkwardness than couch his questions in some kind of lead up. “Of course you can, you know that.”

Evan takes the plate Tommy offers him in hand, drying it and setting it aside, his expression just hesitant enough to give Tommy pause. 

“Why do we always hang out at my place?”

The question startles a laugh from him. That…wasn’t what Tommy had been expecting. “We don’t, sometimes we go on dates.” Tommy allows his face to settle, faux serious and gently teasing. “Are you claiming I’m not romancing you enough Buckley, because I take that accusation very seriously.”

It gets him the reaction he was hoping for: Evan rolls his eyes like he’s aiming to hit 20 Klicks into the stratosphere and keep climbing. He can hear Evan's common refrain in his head, only coworkers call me Buckley, and I don’t even want to contemplate explaining what we’ve been up to to HR.

 “Ha, ha. You know that’s not what I meant. You don’t think it’s a little weird that it’s been two months and I haven’t made it past your garage?”

Tommy’s brain goes straight to the gutter, but Evan’s arms are crossed over his chest in what Tommy has come to learn is a tell-tale sign of him feeling a little insecure.

Tommy tucks away the innocent expression he’d been pulling and sighs, yanking the plug and reaching for the discarded towel to wipe his hands clean. “I mean, it’s a shorter drive for me to come here from Harbour than make you slog it all the way out to mine. I was just trying to make things easier on you.”

Evan holds up his hands like he’s trying to brace both himself and Tommy for his next question. “Okay, let me be more direct. Do you still live with your mom?”

That one shocks, a genuine, full belly laugh from him. The concern on Evan’s face is beginning to grow, and Tommy waves him off. 

“No, it’s nothing like that. My place is just…a little unfinished at the moment, is all.”

Evan’s apartment was so put together it had honestly taken Tommy aback the first time he’d gotten a good look at it He didn’t know what he’d been expecting but it hadn’t been anything this nice, clean, or stylish, and the next opportunity he’d had to linger and poke around…with fewer distractions…he had quickly reevaluated the person he’d assumed Evan to be based on first impressions alone.

It had been his first in a long chain of lessons he’d learnt to never underestimate Evan Buckley. It had also made him feel slightly…lacking.

“Okay,” Evan says slowly, he’s using that tone of voice that usually means he already has a succession of twenty questions in the barrel and was just barely holding back from pulling the trigger.  “Unfinished, how?”

Tommy scratches at the side of his nose before he can stop himself. A nervous tick. “Well, I bought it with the intention of renovating it myself--my first job was working for a contractor–but I, uh, kept getting a little side tracked.”

Evan shrugs. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“You haven’t seen it yet…” Tommy warns.

Evan’s smile slides sideways. “Yeah, and don’t you think it’s a little unfair that Eddie’s seen your place and your boyfriend hasn't?”

He feels silly, but Tommy can’t stop the way his stomach goes hot and squirmy every time Evan says it. Boyfriend–like it’s a pearl cupped lovingly on the bed of his tongue. 

It’s Tommy’s turn to roll his eyes. He reaches out, covering Evan’s damp hand with his own and offering him a direct, hot-eyed look. “I’m not trying to impress Eddie.”

His words have their intended effect, Evan grins and ducks his head, cheeks going pleasantly red. 

Evan laces their fingers together. “I don’t care how rough it is around the edges, I want to see every part of you,” he says, devastatingly sincere. 

Every time Tommy thinks he’s gotten an upper hand on his feelings, Evan throws him for a loop. “Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

Evan’s grin spreads across his face like soft butter on toast. “You got it.”

[gachagon]

I love it when characters who were previously incredibly pompous and egotistical realize that the pedestal they've placed themselves on is actually worthless given the current situation they're now in.

Kaiser is realizing now that his idea of what it takes to be on top, to be the best striker is wrong and that it's probably been wrong for a while. And that's really got to suck, because while Kaiser has accomplished a lot of great things, ultimately his goal pales in comparison to the people he now has to go up against. Isagi and the other Blue Locker's aren't just there to rise up the ranks slowly, this is a last man standing program and Kaiser isn't strong enough to stand on his own.

He had become a great player, but he's not the best player. And he needs to be better in order to even have that position of acclaim in the first place. I am reminded of what Isagi taunted him with earlier, calling him a "Naked Emperor/King" which is an obvious reference to the "Emperor's New Clothes".

In that short story, a king orders himself new clothing that outshines everyone else and so the court creates "Invisible Clothing that only he can see" for the King. The king accepts the clothes and "wears" them, and so to him he is wearing the finest cloak imaginable, but to everyone else he is just a naked man making a fool of himself.

In a way, Kaiser ended up being the naked emperor in that he only came to the realization that his past achievements weren't good enough to stay in the team until this very game with Isagi.

I really think that fear of losing everything he worked for was always holding him back from really going above and beyond as well, because while he does have the support of a partner to do passes for him and he's able to read the field accurately, he doesn't take chances that tougher opponents hand him.

His backstory as a thief really puts this into perspective too because thieves wait for the right moment to strike instead of going out into the open to steal. And just like a thief, everything they get is "unearned" because they just take it from other people. In a way, you could almost say Kaiser's position as the best and the king was unearned because he hadn't actually done what needed to be done in order to get to that level.

And that's why I think this makes him so upset when Ness rattles off all of the thing's he's done, because ultimately none of those things will really amount to anything if he can't keep control of this team and be the best among them. It won't matter if he's scored a goal in every match, or if he's gotten offers from top teams, his goal is to be better than everyone and right now some dude from a no name prefecture in Japan is wiping the floor with him, and easily.

You really gotta feel sorry for Ness too, because he thinks of himself as one of Kaiser's "accomplishments" in a way, but Kaiser literally doesn't care about him enough. He just see's Ness as a tool to use, someone who's easily replaceable and loyal like a dog.

My moot (@miyamiwu) made a really good observation about how Ness might just leave Kaiser soon if he doesn't keep playing in that magical way that captured Ness in the first place, and I think that's true now especially since Kaiser himself seems to also realize it. When he's thinking about all of the achievements he could potentially lose if he doesn't win this, Ness is one of them.

"I thought I was becoming human." Is so sad too because I think deep down he really did think that by being close to Ness that he was truly becoming a normal player, that he was on the fast track to achieving his goals. But because he doesn't really know what that goal is anymore, the rug has been pulled from under him now and he has to literally reevaluate what is probably years worth of self reflection.

I also think this chapter is Kaiser ditching the rose as a symbol of his ego because he's truly looking back on things and realizing that the object that really gave him solace wasn't that symbol of the impossible, but the soccer ball itself. He is coming to terms with the fact that without soccer, he doesn't have anything at all, and that it is the only reason he was even able to get this far or have the courage to fight back against his abusive shitty dad.

Instead of the rose tattoo being here, we see there's a new tattoo that's prominent now and it's in the shape of a crown. And rather than being in a place where he's most vulnerable (his neck), the tattoo is on his hand, which I think symbolizes how he is able to take his own freedom and by extension his own place as a king with his own two hands.

Kaiser's solitude is something he really needs to become the best, because if he can't do it alone, than he can't do it at all. He is clinging desperately to the things he has managed to gather throughout these years, including Ness' loyalty and he's so afraid of losing even one of those things that it's making him a worse player.

However, whether or not being totally alone is what he needs to heal as a person is another thing entirely, which is ultimately why I don't think Kaiser will ever beat Isagi and that if he does it'd actually be the worst ending for him. Throughout this entire manga, Kaiser comes off as a really calculated person who's always thinking ten steps ahead, but inside he is just a damaged kid who is using soccer as his one means of coping with the trauma he faced as child.

And that phrasing "I thought I was becoming human" really just makes me feel so sad for Kaiser, because to him if he doesn't have soccer he is less than human and has nothing to give back to the world. He has never allowed himself any time to just be a normal teenager and just make friends in a healthy way, and the one friend he does have might just up and leave if he's not playing in a groundbreaking way. He thinks so lowly of himself that he hinges his entire identity around how other people perceive his abilities in the game, and if he's not the best at the game, he surely can't matter that much as a player, no matter how much Ness tries to placate him with words about how he's "already done enough".

Ego Jinpachi said it as well after Nagi made his really good goal, that some people are content with just being average and "good" instead of being great. And that it's because they're content with where they are in life, that they never advance at all. The idea that they are totally fine in their current position makes them lose the drive they normally would have if they weren't still thinking about trying to get better.

And Blue Lock's philosophy hinges on the player wanting to always get better and better and beat the other players on the field. Being "good" is never enough, hell being "Great" isn't enough at times, you need to be the best forever. You need to make it so that dethroning you is an uphill battle.

[altocat]

I was thinking that throughout childhood as children get older they push back against their parental authority and parents are challenged and made to reevaluate or take different approaches as this occurs

Basically my question is how do you think Hojo kept Sephiroth in line through out his childhood as he grows and grows becoming physically stronger and possibly a danger if say he does push back strongly against Hojo at some point

I hope this makes sense and I hope you have a good day

Interesting question!

I think that, for as much as Sephiroth hates Hojo, Hojo STILL has something of a psychological hold over him, even well into adulthood. Hojo knows that Sephiroth won't kill him because he's the only "parent" Sephiroth has ever had. And Sephiroth might hate his guts, but having a shitty connection is better than having no connections at all. Hojo knows this and exploits it when he can. He doesn't come out completely unscathed though--Sephiroth has often gotten rather violent around him, even enough to actually hurt the scientist. Hojo is nothing if not ballsy. He deals with the mini assaults and laughs them off. He knows Sephiroth will never cross the line. He CAN'T. At the end of the day, he still belongs to Hojo. And Sephiroth can't bear to lose the only consistent thing that has ever remained in his life. His only tether. His "beloved" caretaker.

Hojo also reaffirms this connection by constantly inserting himself into Sephiroth's life whether he likes it or not. Constant appointments. Chaperoning him during galas and special events. The entire EXISTENCE of Silver Elite and Hojo constantly dangling the threat of releasing increasingly private information if Sephiroth misbehaves. Hojo has resigned himself to the fact that he can't keep Sephiroth from seeing Angeal and Genesis. So he instead does what he can to make sure that Sephiroth will always need him. He'll dangle answers over Sephiroth's head. Browbeat and mock him so that he doesn't get TOO assured of his abilities. Threaten to breed or marry Sephiroth off if Sephiroth gets a little too curious about the other males that come his way. Little things that he knows Sephiroth could easily brush aside...but won't. He knows his son. He knows that for as much as Sephiroth has grown, there are some bindings that remain firm. Hojo holds the leash. He has no intention of letting his precious pet escape.

[princess-of-the-corner]

(Ask ran past the word count, plus tablet is having issues)

I think my favourite variety of “Marinette finally tells Adrien” fic, is. Like. I don’t remember the name, but after everything has gone down, Marinette has some time for introspection, the chance to reevaluate some things. Ya know, now that she isn’t dealing with *gestures to all of that*. After a bit of time (and a lot of guilt) she finally decides “Actually, no. Lying to Adrien about all this shit is wrong, it’s immoral, if I want to have ANY kind of relationship with him, I need to come clean.” So she tries to do that … and can’t, cause Gabe was not trusting, and also excels at fucking things up without even being present, so his Wish means when Marinette agreed to not tell Adrien any of this stuff, she basically signed a magic contract that PHYSICALLY PREVENTS HER from telling him. It also prevents her from telling him anything that could explicitly lead to Adrien figuring it out on his own, which means that, because the “terms” were so broad, & so much of Marinette’s shit has gotten tangled up in the whole … Thing, that she can’t even tell him a lot of adjacent stuff, like “Hey, I think I might have issues with feeling in control”, or, “so, this one time, before we started dating, I stole your phone cause I left an embarrassing voice mail about how hot I thought you were, and I decided stealing your phone and deleting the message was appropriate”.

And, like, she tries some other stuff! But this thing really has a strangle hold on her, so it’s basically no going until she has a total breakdown, and confesses most of this to Chat Noir - not the whole, cause she can’t, but the outline of what happened, cause as long as she isn’t trying to tell Adrien, she can sort of talk around it. Cause they STILL don’t know each other’s identities. And because Magic is finicky and trollish, the fact that “Ladybug” is talking about it with “Chat Noir” apparently doesn’t set it off. And she says just enough that Chat goes “wait, this sounds familiar”, and asks some questions. And the more questions he asks, the weirdly easier it is for Marinette to talk about, until finally Chat bursts out “MY DAD WAS FUCKING HAWK MOTH!?” and the magic contract thing breaks down entirely, cause once Adrien knows, the contract is null and void. 

There was a bit more after that, but that’s the only bit I remember.

-

See I really like that! Like

I’ve talked before on how I can initially see Marinette making that snap decision of ‘don’t tell him lie to protect him’.

But I don’t think she’d keep it going once she thinks about it too long and/or the guilt gets to her.

Having the Wish be an aspect to extend the drama is a fantastic way to do this in a way that doesn’t make Mari look like An Asshole™

[ecargmura]

Solo Leveling Season 2 -Arise From The Shadows- Episode 4 Review - S-Rank Miner

This episode has the least amount of action, yet I was still glued in. That’s pretty crazy. Anyways, I do like the change of pace as Jinwoo realizes that being E-rank is now an inconvenience for him and decides to get a reassessment so he’ll have better opportunities to earn money and buy necessary items for his goal to make the Elixir of Life.

The reassessment test center is pretty chill. The vibes remind me of a DMV, where you get your driver’s license in America. The only difference is that you stick your hand onto a crystal and it evaluates stuff for you. Surprisingly enough, Jinwoo’s newfound powers have gotten him to become the 10th S-rank Hunter. Congrats, Jinwoo! Wait, is the the 10th one in Korea or in the world? Somebody, please clarify for me. By the way, if you’re confused on why he’s still referred to as an E-rank despite being reevaluated into S-rank, the system need to process it and change his paperwork and such. Think of it as waiting for your passport to be created.

Because it’s such a big deal, other S-rank hunters come to meet him, specifically Choi Jong-in and Go Gunhee. I honestly like that as the story progresses, the more important characters start showing themselves as if the world building is slowly expanding like how Jinwoo levels up. Choi Jong-in tries to start a conversation with him, but basically leaves him on read…is it because he’s wearing red? Jong-in is the guild master of the biggest Hunters’ Guild, meaning he is a big deal, yet Jinwoo ignoring him was hilarious because he’s being playfully petty about it and even telling Jinchul whether he was being polite or not. Though, he does seem like he’s showing a facade, so it makes sense why Jinwoo be wary and not try to initiate a conversation. I do like that the episode also shows off what he can do. He’s a master fire mage who summons extremely huge fire attacks. Jong-in is voiced by Daisuke Hirakawa in the Japanese dub. If you’re not familiar with Hirakawa, he’s the voice actor of Rei from Free, Enmu from Demon Slayer and Frankenstein from Noblesse. In the English dub, he is voiced by Ian Sinclair, who you might know as Zaveid from Tales of Zestiria, Brook from One Piece and the narrator from Love is War.

Go Gunhee is the biggest authority amongst Hunters, so it makes sense that Jinwoo would try and be more polite to him because he’s much stronger than him. When Gunhee asks him about his path as a newly appointed S-rank Hunter, Jinwoo responds that he lives for fighting and isn’t interested in joining a guild. This gets Gunhee intrigued because he can’t do the things Jinwoo can do at his age, which is over 80. I wonder what sort of role Gunhee will play in the future.

There’s also Cha Hae-in introduced. She’s also another S-rank Hunter and is Jong-in’s second-in-command. She seems to be a swordswoman but also has a sensitive nose as she has to cover it with a handkerchief. I wonder how this affects her in battle. She’s also perceptive of aura as she can sense erratic ones like Jinwoo, but believes it had belonged to Gunhee. Then, she shows up at the ending, making you wonder what she’s doing there when she got out.

There’s also a scene with Hwang Dongsoo where he thinks about Sung Il-hwan who pulverized him when mentioning his family. This is definite foreshadowing him going after Jinwoo or Jinah. Please don’t let bad things happen to them…but let bad things happen to Dongsoo.

I know that Jinwoo isn’t a comedic character, but the way he was in the mines was super funny to me. He was just mining ore like a robot and then when he’s alone, he just scurries to the boss gate like some sort of mischievous troublemaker. I found that so hilarious for some reason like the man’s grinning like he’s finally happy to break some rules. To be honest, I thought he was going to summon his shadow minions to help him with the mining, so seeing something that subverted my expectations was great!

Anyways, I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen now that Cha Hae-in is in the picture. Also, what lurks beyond those gates? I’m curious and I can’t wait for next Saturday! What are your thoughts on this episode?

[starlight-lesbians]

After the race…

SFW, warnings: Dinah giving GB a taste of her own medicine abit lol

After the race, Dinah doesn’t go back to Greaseball right away

After all, why should she? She has the right to be angry after everything she put her through.

She spends the night with Belle and Tassita instead of going back to their shared place

Greaseball actually has to sit in the fallout of her fuckup for the time being (good)

Dinah barely even looked at her after the wreck, instead dedicating her attention to checking on Rusty and even Electra

She didn’t think Dinah would act like this, normally after they fought she always came right back, never staying away overnight

Belle and Tassita encourage Dinah to take the time she needs to cool off and make a good decision about the relationship

The next day, Dinah still hasn’t come back, so Greaseball goes out looking for her, having gotten barely any sleep due to not having Dinah to cuddle.

She finds her in a remote corner of the yard sitting with Rusty, she’s teary eyed and looks absolutely exhausted, Rusty is hugging her and patting her back in an effort to calm her

Greaseball gets hit with a seriously unpleasant wave of jealousy, something she isn’t used to. People are jealous of her, not the other way around.

Even though she knows for a fact that Dinah and Rusty are 100% platonic, it makes her angry that someone else gets to hold Dinah and comfort her while she can’t

Part of her swells with guilt however, she made Dinah cry, and it felt horrible, no matter how justified she thought what she did was

A night spent alone caused enough of an ache in her chest to push her towards responsibility for her actions

Dinah sees Greaseball and her face hardens into a serious, withdrawn expression. She stands abruptly and pulls Rusty up with her, “What do you want?” Her voice is stone cold and shaky from crying.

Her hostility makes Greaseball pause and reevaluate what was about to come out of her mouth for maybe the first time ever, “Uh, I did some thinking, and I fucked up, badly. I shouldn’t have ditched you like that.”

Dinah raised an eyebrow, not expecting this kind of introspection so soon, “You’re right about that, anything else you’d like to tell me?” Internally, she was hopeful they could still repair this, as angry as she was.

Greaseball sighed shakily, “I’m, uh, I’m sorry, Dinah.” The word felt foreign on her tongue, but it felt good to say it.

Dinah’s face softened and she let go of Rusty, moving closer to Greaseball, “Apology accepted, but if you want it to stay that way there’s going to need to be changes, you can’t go back to how you were acting before, can you agree to that?”

Greaseball looked down at Dinah’s hopeful (pretty) face and a small smile broke onto her features, “Yeah, you’re too important to lose, I can’t even sleep without you woman.” It felt weird admitting that kind of vulnerability, especially with Rusty right within earshot, but it made Dinah smile, and that was all she could bring herself to care about

I’m not capable of writing angst without a happy ending so here’s my rendition of how they made up!

As always requests are open!!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

revisited some parts of deh i hadn't in a while via obc boots, mostly kicked off by audio of an aus tour show, & it's like now hang on lol reevaluating the whole of heidi's material / that arc like i have been too generous what in the....kind of worked backwards from good for you b/c for that song i've Been like sympathetic re: alana & jared's sections while like Shrug at heidi like i'm on evan's side there really. but the whole thing is like, sympathy for heidi's feelings aside, i'm on evan's side b/c like yeah heidi has feelings & insecurities too but it's not the same peer to peer like fellow unpopular couple of students as parent to child & i'm looking at it all like The Whole Thread is heidi's insecurities as A Mother & the demand is on evan all the time to not just Not cause her insecurity but also assuage ones that have nothing to do with him, e.g. what's he supposed to say about digs at his dad's wife

& like really going over that First Scene i.e. opening scene post evan's soliloquy i.e. anybody have a map it's like. sure only increasingly like Oh Boy when evan not being able to order pizza despite the online option is met with the "you Need to be able to order dinner for yourself" ft. that he should be "too old for this" (disability....grow up) (not a direct quote but rather yknow the "you're a senior in high school, evan" intro) & nothing about like, support or alternatives, certainly nothing about it being Okay that he couldn't. just that he Has to do this thing this way (why. or else what.) & also just the simple fact that evan has been honest about "something wrong with him" / something he did that he figures she wouldn't like & gotten this wholly negative response about that just being Unacceptable to hear, regardless of the "positive" pivot like you can do it re: school, just must not be Trying enough, just must be evan's own attitude or something else about him, the letters had better help....& all this revisiting inspired by beau woodbridge evan's delivery after heidi says the line about Her Not Wanting To Hear (framed about Her Feelings if evan were to Tell her about this) about evan having no friends, & like the delivery of "neither do i??" like a sort of nonplussed indignation that is a kind of "how do you think *i* feel about it??" like no yeah what about evan's feelings about him dealing with his problems here, the one not having dinner, not having friends, not Not having anxiety, etc. like obviously heidi like every person ever has feelings & problems too but it's that the parent's problems are supposed to be Made Up For by the child somehow, while evan's problems are framed as Being A Problem for his mom, how she feels about Knowing about it, try harder please okay evan....but cue, yknow, how she resents evan feeling any responsibility for Her Problems in gfy yknow not insofar as she's been embarrassed to tell him like "yeah money is a problem" when it's been about pushing him to get scholarships but rather when the murphys know (maybe just via evan implying they're Not Rich to zoe after zoe is like ah, to be poor....) that heidi will need Financial Support for college for evan & then heidi like i'm not That poor & to take money would be wrong (always the reminder heidi does not know everything re: evan & connor isn't true either)

which, that last part of her dinner at the murphys pre gfy was really this time hitting like ://// whew okay. all of it always grating lmao but like, "i don't want evan to get the idea etc" like ma'am he's sitting right here? he's seventeen? can't just Declare the ideas evan will or won't absorb even though like yeah also clearly it's about her pride as A Good Mom being wounded & just putting it on evan by expressing it that way like no i have to be A Good Mom via my example, is why i must decline....& like i'm sure it can all be softened depending on how heidi is played but still like, this is about her Full Story / Material, & just what is written lol like even if she was more [pensive emoji single tear] in delivery or something, vs watching the obc like full anger & contempt by this point & i'm like yeah this Shouldn't be familiar if the excuse of like "well heidi is messing up in this Special Occasion, an outlier" really went that far. or was actually out of line w/how she acts other times. or how this all resolves. but heidi storming out While lashing out at evan / blaming him like my god lmfaooo & like. speaking of "do you think the murphy parents did read between the lines & think evan & connor are secret gay high school lovers" like gee evan having no problem moving in to the murphy household, keeping secrets from his mom like his ostensible epic friendship w/connor, not talking aobut her or really trying on his own to involve her, being fairly alarmed when Surprise Dinner With Your Mom, heidi acting like That??? like "do you think the murphy parents read between the lines to think evan is abused by his parent" i mean like lol lmfaooo on both points like heternormativity? the normativity of abuse & parents Owning their child as well? in the murphy household? but you know. of course no deh is not supposed to be about that but i'm like, uh oh, whole time i was like "well my own perspective based on what i learned from personal experience & then learned About such experiences isn't that relevant at least to heidi b/c it's supposed to be that she's Not Like That at the end of the day" but i'm like is it in effect though lol, is it really that different In Essence if not also like "yep the way heidi acts is just directly familiar sometimes. maybe often. or always" difference in degree like. plus just that how often is whatever particular lens/perspective like Useless to apply

anyway & that fight in the leadup to gfy is wild & just like further illuminating re: how the whole time, from the first scene, it's like okay to heidi what's most important in her motivations is Her Insecurity about how anything about evan supposedly reflects on her being a mom, like. again that heidi has no idea everything about evan & connor isn't true & she's just going sicko mode at evan b/c the murphys Aren't His Family, yknow, She is, & that entitlement that's supposed to come with it, evan can't have these other adults acting Parently towards him re: money & housing & dinners & feeling fond of him or anything, all circumventing her status as His Mother....the whole "sorry i can't give you more than that, shit" "well it's not my fault other people can" like yeah sorry about your feelings heidi, yeah it's not "nice" of evan to say that but i'm not like yes evan must never even think things that aren't nice(tm) much less say them, that again like even if we sympathize w/heidi there b/c obviously yeah she'd be hurt & feel insecure. even if we suppose that was mean of evan. i'm like well yeah he's right. just setting aside the apparent universal desire for a life as closely approximating the brady bunch as possible, it's like hey yeah look evan's been getting dinners this way, re: him not ordering a pizza at the start of a show. turning out to be less important like "well at least you've been eating, good" than evan not doing so through the Proper efforts to Become Normal(tm) & of course that like. coming from another mom staying home making him food is unacceptable b/c she imagines this is supplanting her / making her the Bad Mom vs this Good Mom & then taking it out on evan to make her feel Good Enough(tm) like truly just the usual fallback refrain of "ohh sorry i'm not perfect / have feelings / have problems" which is true for everyone ever but yknow evan is the one having to Defend his feelings & problems & imperfections against the fallout of "failing" to be "responsible" for mitigating or fulfilling heidi's & she's the one who can break out "i'm your mother" whereas evan's less overtly declared "i'm your son" about her potentially failing Him is what gets met with more contempt & "ohh sorry i'm not perfect & have feelings & problems" & her starting off Good For You. great

& like the way All That illustrates, like the way evan getting dinner now through a different now available avenue is, to heidi, more about her own feelings than about [evan gets dinner now], like just that expanded to how it's not Okay that evan's problems seem to be getting better / he's getting more support / he's doing better or anything as soon as heidi becomes insecure about her not having the role she wants in it. the entire thread about her being bothered about evan not telling her things, lying about things, hiding things, like yeah evident that she Is worried about him but same as she's evidently worried about him in the first scene, when, again, we Did see him share something honestly with her & she was like "UGH evan jeez i Hate that you told me this" & then her input is to tell him to Get Good, yknow, must be his own failures, get on that. gosh why would he keep anything from her. & then yknow we have that line later on, evan like you don't know me & heidi like "i thought i did" (contempt again) & like the main issue of this not being like "oh no if i Don't know him or about his problems then i'm not supporting him like i thought i was / he's not getting the support Overall i thought he was" but rather like i can't believe evan is doing this to me / her insecurities & evan's "responsibility" for them, again, rather than yknow. evan's wellbeing regardless of her personal feelings? & we're ready for resolution after heidi inadvertently reads his diary to realize he was that sad & it's like. even if he wasn't That Sad like none of that response was okay. at any point lol like it's still the issue of her dynamic with him where evan is In Charge Of how heidi feels & that obviously she can act on this in the ways she can & what can evan do about anything but avoid her / not share things / idk indeed move in with this other family lol, sorry about the pretenses (also obviously like. murphy parents not doing that much better. certainly larry like, are you kidding? never changes his mind that all connor's problems were connor's fault & Failings & now his reaction to it is about facing any insecurity & Rejecting It as no i'm always right & just have to hold out forever. vs that zoe is also bearing the brunt of being Trapped In The Family(tm) but cynthia dares to be like "no, i feel like i failed my dead son" & "no, i don't feel someone 'has to be the bad guy' who tramples boundaries")

like speaking of boundaries. ppl having always pointed out "uh oh, heidi's not good with those" or the point like "in gfy heidi's also mad about the rejection by her ex-husband & just putting that over her fight w/evan" like not beating the [parent making their child the one in charge of them & their feelings & actions] allegations.......

& you know, the resolution like "ohh you were sadder than i knew" like okay Now that matters instead of heidi Just being insecure that he wasn't sharing this with her already, thus the important part being how that makes her feel like a bad mom vs like, how evan is actually doing & her actual role in this beyond what makes her feel best, personally? or that like oh i'm Not going to not be here, physically, in this house....like okay. but what about the actual dynamic you have while around him & you will always be around him, b/c like, has that changed from the start. how is heidi going to offer support re: evan Feeling Like This that's different from "you Need to order pizza and Need to get your cast signed, Just Do It" or that b/c she doesn't want to hear otherwise like well then of course evan won't tell her, or maybe a therapist if that's not confidential, or other people if it'll get back to his mom, or the internet if that'll get back to his mom which i guess it will. is evan gonna be not in charge of her feelings anymore. i'm just like yeah evan find yourself in college sure get outta there idk if you're even rude along the way. & obv shoot larry into the sun

[visiodeii]

hello! super new to the helpol crowd, and i was wondering:

what is it like when a deity contacts you? do you see an image of them? hear a voice in your head? or do you have thoughts that are distinctly not your own? are their messages more direct or indirect? what are the messages usually about? how do you feel when you recieve them?

Hii!!

well I just started my deity work this January too. My friends @amor-areia was/is an Aphrodite devotee & he told me I am super Apollo child coded. He told me about his experiences with devotion, it peaked my intrests and I started looking for signs.

Which were basically everywhere haha crows were following me, the number 7 was always in my life. Everywhere I have lived had a 7 ( 157,47,7) I was always into archery & my relationship with the sun always seemed special! I have never got a sunburn in my life!

I started reading tarot and pulled the sun when I asked Apollo if he was really reaching out to me. (not just once!)

but I’ve heard that a sign could be a sudden intrest in a certain deity too!

Me specifically I have never heard or seen deities, but I meet them in my dreams Hermes and Apollo! There were no clear messages there, they just appeared!✨

The signs are usually very telling. Like you will feel it! If its a sign you will know it! Sometimes it can just be a feeling, a passing warmth or a maybe a bee resting on you. Anything!

With messages …I always get them through tarot, with Apollo it’s easy cus he is god of divination & I find it easy to communicate with him through the cards! I always ask him for a general message sometimes he helps me with a problem which I have put off for way too long.

for example when I had enough of my work place he did tell me I should rest more or change jobs!When I was scared of my love life, he reassured me I am making the right choice, When I wasn’t sure if I should invite people back in to my life, he told me to think about it & reevaluate my friendships!

I also think getting a little pendulum is super helpful if you have yes or no questions for them! More straightforward 🐝

But the messages I get from the signs are usually: hey, I am here for you! Take care of yourself! Rest well! Good job today etc!

I hope I helped a bit🌞💋 I really recommend reaching out to someone with more experience!

but I have heard everyone’s experiences differ! Some people might actually hear them, but I have only gotten songs stuck in my head through Apollo haha

have a wonderful day

may the sun shine upon your face🌞

[mychlapci]

I have been procrastinating this gjksjdfs but i wanted to send some kind of like. i dont think it would be considered an end really but like at least a conclusion in a way to the mertwins thing, at least for the whole bit about them coming to live together in the facility

Prowl does get very very close to losing his job there. They suspend him indefinitely until they can decide what to do with him. They suspend Jazz too but like at least he knows when he's going back.

The two mers, meanwhile, have been consistently getting much better. They are finally eating properly, no longer engaging in such reckless behaviour, and most importantly have not attacked each other as most of the staff had feared. As much as they all dont agree with what Prowl did, they have to concede to the fact that he was right. Not that they'd ever tell him though.

But the mers are still defensive and display highly aggressive behaviour when approached. The staff have enough common sense, unlike some mechs, to keep away. It makes it difficult to check on them in some ways, but it's not too bad. But also this means they really dont know how these mers will react to other mers. Ideally they'd want to be able to socialise these two as well, eventually introducing them to a shared tank, but they cant do that in any good conscience right now

The staff continue to try to approach the two mers over months, but their responses never change. It's only one day when Prowl, finally fully recovered and having gotten a medic's full approval to be back, is back in the facility that they see a difference.

Prowl had specifically requested those documents from his medic. He wrote to the aquarium to specifically request a visit with all that paperwork. Eventually they could not say no and let him in. Just for a day. With escort. Not on any official business. Just a visit.

He just wanted to see how those two were for himself. Jazz had told him they were doing fine, but he wanted to see it with his own two optics.

He walks up to the tank and just stands there, looking in, relieved already just to see that he is not immediately greeted with angry snarls and banging on the glass. Honestly that in itself would have been enough for him. But he sees one of the mers swim past, stop, look at him, and then tilt its head. The mer, the red one, then quickly swims away, but soon returns dragging the yellow one with him. The red one gestures at Prowl, and then yellow one squints. They seem to communicate in subtle movements that Prowl doesnt understand before they look at him again

The red one swims up to the glass, dragging the other again. But this time they both look at Prowl, fins kept close to their frames, and bow their heads slightly.

The poor (or maybe very lucky) staff just like drops his datapad lmao cos he has never seen anything like this before

Prowl has never seen this behaviour before either. A form of respect, perhaps? A sign of thanks? He does not know, but he knows it is friendly. Their fins are not just not flared in aggression, but are actively held as flatly as possible. They want to appear as non-threatening as possible, perhaps an act of submission or friendship.

Prowl wouldn't be able to figure it out like this, but he knows they must mean well. He places his servo on the glass, and the mers seem happy enough with the response and soon swim off again

The staff of course are like what the heck and end up reevaluating Prowl's suspension. Now that he's physically fit... Maybe they should ask him to come back. Maybe he might be the only one who would be able to approach those two. It takes them a few weeks, but they end up bringing Prowl back in. And of course they tell him to be Careful this time. Please.

I think it all works out tho ^^ The twins maybe still never truly knew what happened but they know Prowl helped them. They eventually let him get near the water after a few attempts from him and a few peace offerings of food. They are very cautious tho. They never quite go near him. They will still display aggression if he tries to approach.

It takes quite a bit of time before they finally approach him. They finally get comfortable enough to be near him... and eventually allowing him to touch them (tho really this ends up being more of the twins poking and prodding at Prowl because they are curious and also a menace and want to know what the heck is up with these weird land mechs)

The staff are happy to see these two finally socialising and displaying even less aggressive behaviour than before. Maybe Prowl finally makes some friends too

it's ok, i procrastinated answering this for a turn. I definitely imagined the twins would eventually grow closer with Prowl... In a way, he's helped them more than anyone else could have. His grand gesture of reuniting the two ended up helping them understand that there are land-mechs that can be trusted. Ironic, I know.

Sunny and Sides prodding at Prowl, dragging him into their tank, excitedly banging their tails against the glass when he's walking by... it's all extremely uplifting social behaviour from mers that the facility thought they had no hope of rehabilitating <3

[shesthedream]

Before, After, and Forever - Chapter 4

Aaron Hotchner x fem!OC (Anya Decker)

Summary: Agent Decker is a phenomenal agent. She has been through hell and back and is unwilling to open her heart. But what happens when Agent Decker’s case lands in the BAU’s hands? What happens when it is decided that she is an asset to the team? And, most importantly, what happens when she meet the unit chief?

Series cw: canon topics, killers, hostages, rape mention, torture, scars, nightmares, flashbacks, slow burn, mentions of eating and body insecurity, yelling

Chapter cw: canon topics: killing, crime scenes

–

Everyone looked at each other in surprise. She had gotten all their coffee orders right. Her way of saying thank you.

“Aww… and I didn’t even get to say thank you.” Garcia said sadly.

–

The BAU had spent the next few months, business as usual. They were going through cases at a great rate. Everything seemed to be going well. But then again, when everything seems to be going well, there is always something bound to come up.

Hotch received a phone call from the director's office the evening they returned from their latest case, once again successfully solved. He couldn't think of anything they had done. The situation began to give him deja vu.

The next morning he made his way up to the director's office. Listening to the hum of the elevator, the click clacks of shoes on the tile he soon found himself in front of the director's door. After the knock and a 'come in', he made his way inside.

"Good morning, director."

"Good morning, Agent Hotchner. It's good to see you. Please have a seat." He gestured to the chairs across from him after shaking Hotch's hand.

Hotch took a seat. "Is everything ok? This meeting seems unexpected."

"Yes, I understand. I just wanted to talk to you about a possible addition to your team."

To say Hotch was surprised was an understatement. Was someone going to be removed from the team? He didn't understand. They didn't need anyone else so why would someone else be added.

"We won't be removing anyone from the current team, we are just thinking about a possible addition. Anya is a great asset to us here at the FBI and she has been working flexibly where is needed for a long time..." Hotch began to understand where this was going.

"She is an incredibly strong and talented agent. She has been without a team for a long time and no doubt doing good work, but we agree that it's time for a change."

"Agent Decker is an incredible agent, but with all due respect director, we have enough people on our team."

"I do understand Agent Hotchner, but the pile of cases on your desk in only increasing. To be able to get to all of them as effectively as possible, we feel that adding an additional agent to your team would be worthwhile. She will be coming in for an interview and her trial run will be a month long. After that we can reevaluate as needed."

Hotch had a feeling that the interview was just a formality and was confident that they did not need her. But they would see at the month's end.

-

Later that afternoon, Decker made her way up to the BAU. Walking through the bullpen, she gave a small nod to the rest of the team who stared at her and she made her way up to Hotch's office.

"... What is she doing here?" Morgan watched Decker go up the stairs.

"Well Hotch did have that meeting with the director earlier. It could have something to do with that." Rossi commented from behind him.

Decker knocked twice and went in upon hearing a faint 'come in'.

"Good afternoon Hotchner."

"Let's get straight into it." Hotch was emotionless.

"Look, I know you don't need more agents on the team. You don't have to have me on the team because the director is pushing for it."

Hotch took a breath in. He didn't need her on the team. They had enough people. The team didn't need this change. He didn't need this change.

"No, he's right. You will be an asset to the team. You did well on the case a few months ago and are more than qualified for the position. I think the trial month will be good."

There was a moment of silence.

"Ok. Do you have an empty office. I'll need one."

"We're already cramped for space as it is-"

"Agent Hotchner I don't think you understand. Yes I will be working at the BAU, but I will also be working on other things as well. I have a lot of files, private files. I need an office." Hotch didn't understand. He was already resistant and now even more so.

"I'll see what we can do but there are no guarantees."

"When you have an office set up, let me know. I'll be at the main building until then." Decker shook his hand and went to walk out of his office.

"I'm excited to get a chance to work with you all." She turned around and made her way out.