#and I think it would make bismuth and garnet lose their minds because of how cute she is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

permafusion-stevonnie · 3 years ago

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So this idea isn’t leaving my head. While I’m not going to get it started for now, since I want to concentrate on my current Stevonnie comic, ideas are still ticking away and I just really wanted to draw this cover for the idea.

Maybe I’ll get its own page started in time. I’ll let you know if I do. But even if I did, I wouldn’t expect regular updates to it, not while I’m working on Together Forever.

I want to quickly say something that I think some people may have gotten confused about when I was talking about the Fallout Universe before:

Crystal Gems are still called Crystal Gems, but their role is similar, but not the same as the Brotherhood of Steel. In that they are isolationists, who will try to protect humanity from dangerous gem technology, and corrupted gems. they aren’t bothered with human mutants, human problems, or human technology. But I feel that, ove time, Steven will help their character growth away from this and help them, at least, start opening up to the local comminuty and helping where they can.

Homeworld Authority is still called Homeworld, or The Authority, but take on a similar role to the Enclave. They view themselves as the rightful masters of earth and they’re automatically more superior to any other lifeform by birthright.

I have been thinking over what could have occurred to create this world, how’s this for a (work in progress) backstory: (ended up a lot longer than I thought it would, so I’m space saving by putting in this break)

The Gem colonisation of earth happened later than it did in canon. A couple of thousand years, maybe. Unlike the 6000 years ago in canon, it was perhaps 5000, or maybe 4000 years ago. Enough for a bigger human civilisation to take part in the gem war for earth.

Pink still gets her colony started, still changes her mind about it, and finally chooses to become Rose Quartz to lead the rebellion. I think the human zoo will still be made, because I like the idea of that being around to give a mash-up of the human zoo and the mother ship zeta dlc from Fallout 3.

What really diverges from the timeline is when the rebellion starts fighting back with larger groups of human allies. 4000 (or 5000) years ago we are talking some good military strategies, chariots, bows and arrows, cavalries and tactics, etc. Some research will be needed to really flesh out the lore.

Homeworld, facing a bigger threat than a hundred or so rebels, puts a little more effort into research and development of newer technologies to counteract the human strategies. Nothing develops technologies quite like war.

Rose and the others start capturing some technologies from Homeworld and start studying them to not only understand them, but even attempting to reverse engineer them. They obviously won’t be able to replicate the weapons in form, but hope to do so in function.

This is where Scribes would come in for the Crystal Gems are the replacement for the Brotherhood of Steel that I’ve talked about before. Some Gems and some clever humans, would dedicate themselves to trying to understand the newer Gem technology they’re starting to see.

With inventive people like Bismuth to build their own version of it.

The actual Gem Technology will be locked away in the temple- or whatever name I may give it- but the remake versions that the Crystal Gems turn out will be spread far and wide.

I’m just thinking off the top of my head, but it’d be like- if they tried to make their own version of the gem destabiliser, it would be like a giant tuning fork hooked up to something similar to a large Baghdad Battery (google it, it’s kinda cool) that they would carry in a backpack.

The war would carry on like that, with Homeworld making new tech to combat the threat, sooner or later the rebellion captures some, they make their own version of it, and Homeworld makes new tech to combat the threat.

This drain on resources does take its toll on Homeworld though, and their war against earth is perhaps much shorter, between 300 and 800 years, I haven’t decided yet.

Things do play out similar to canon though. Homeworld decides to abandon earth as a lost cause, implant the Cluster so they’ll get something out of the deal and the three Diamonds blast the earth with their powers as a final middle finger to the rebels.

Gems are destroyed, except for the original Crystal Gems, and Bismuth! Canon Bismuth made a lot of regular weapons and armour and the rebellion was still losing. She was driven to making the Breaking Point because she didn’t think they had a chance of winning any other way. In this new canon, however, because Bismuth was working on newer and newer weapons all the time, each one she was confident would help turn the tide of the war, she never had chance to work on the ultimate weapon of the Breaking Point. She may have designed it, or may have the idea kicking around the back of her mind, but never got around to building it.

Rose does her thing of finding somewhere isolated to live in both peace and regret for the war. This is where the Crystal Gems become isolationists

With the Gems gone, humans are left to their own devices with all this more advanced technology than they should have in this point in history. Tech continues to develop with this head start.

Fast forward to the year 1929 and people are living lives as you’d see in the Fallout universe in the 2070′s. Nuclear fulled cars, robot assistants, laser rifles and power armour and all that other stuff.

The reason I chose 1929 is two-fold. The first Fallout game was set 84 years after the nuclear war, and 84 years after 1929 is the year 2013; the year Steven Universe first aired.

The failing of the world is the same reason the Fallout universe failed. Resources started to become scarce, wars started over what remained and the whole thing was escalated by a race that may have been too young to fully understand the forces they were really dealing with, having come a long way, but still too fast, thanks to the ancient interference.

Nuclear hellfire rained down and some people took their shelter in the vaults, while everyone else had to find ways to survive outside.

Rose and the Gems stick to their isolation as humanity all but wipes itself out. Rose is heartbroken to see the beautiful world that she fought so hard for, so easily destroyed. There can be a lot to explore there. Maybe Rose will leave the group, maybe she’ll just wander off and be alone a lot but still return to the temple eventually. I haven’t decided yet.

Perhaps all the gems will have some additional guilt, knowing that their old tech is what pushed humanity so far so fast.

Fast forward 70 years and Rose meets a travelling wastelander named Greg. They fall in love. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail here mostly because I haven’t really thought too much about it, but partly because I know I want it to be explored within the story itself to show how different from canon it would be. Not just the flashback elements from “Story for Steven,” and "We Need to Talk," with a Fallout flair. I want to work out some other nice adventures to bring them together.

Rose and Greg come back to Beach City with Rose expecting their baby.

Steven is born and the Gems immediately take custody, with the logic that their secure base is a better place for Steven to grow up than the harsh wasteland. Greg is allowed to visit as often as he likes, but not stay there. Nor is Steven allowed off the base. They want to protect the legacy of their leader, Rose.

I’m going to say that Steven starts showing hints of Gem powers around 10 years old. Nothing he can control. Perhaps his Gem glows when he’s really happy, if he falls down some steps his bubble forms but immediately pops so it’s just enough to save him from injury. Little things like that.

But this serves as a point where The Gems start “encouraging” Greg to visit less and leave the raising of Steven to them, as his upbringing has now become “Gem Business”

Steven may have snuck off the base once or twice to see the world beyond the base, but after this he’ll do it a lot more often to see his dad and the Beach City settlement.

I think Bismuth suspects he sneaks off but both can’t prove it, and doesn’t want to try and prove it, Garnet knows but says nothing, both of them are letting Steven have his fun, and Pearl has no idea he does it.

Amethyst is not part of the group in the beginning, she’s out as part of a raider gang somewhere. Thank you to theyarheeguy for giving me that idea, and many others, to work with.

A total of 84 years after the bombs dropped, Steven is now 12 years old, sneaking off the base for another visit to town, when he spots a pretty young girl dressed in a strange blue jumpsuit, emerging from a hidden trapdoor that was underneath the old Beach City water-tower.

Steven is 12 because I believe that’s how old he was when the show started. Based on the timeline, the passing of the seasons and so on, he has to have a 13th birthday that we don’t see on screen, before we do see his 14th birthday.

#art #my art #cover #fallout #Fallout AU #Steven Universe AU #long post #lore dump #work in progress #wip

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novantinuum · 4 years ago

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Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen Audiences

Words: 6.3K~

Summary: In another world, he doesn’t have his mother’s sword or shield to hide behind when Bismuth lands her strike. The bubble pops.

Steven falls apart.

Chapter summary: In which freedom is a future worth fighting for.

Finally finished this chapter, yay! I promise I throw canon off a ravine entirely next chapter, I just needed to set up some stuff. Hopefully the Ruby POV makes things somewhat fresh.

If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3. Thank you! <3

____

Chapter 13: system/REBOOT, Part 1

The whole mission is Garnet’s idea.

By this point, they’ve known about Homeworld’s rushed Beta Kindergarten project for about fifty years. Frankly, its composition leaves much to be desired. The area is rich in the iron and silicon deposits necessary to produce a strong batch of quartzes, but the foundation they incubated all their new soldiers within is red clay cemented sandstone; it’s soft, and in constant danger of erosion. According to all the rebellion’s peridots, many of them top Homeworld kindergarteners before their eventual defection, this type of stone is critically unfit for Gem production. It can’t compress the inclusions of injector fluid at the correct pressure, can’t reliably bar the excess from draining through the porous material. As a result many of the individually incubated sites are predicted to ‘weep’ and lose critical volume, which will inevitably cause the emergent quartzes to be ‘off-color’ in some fashion. Some may be under regulation height, some may exhibit crystal twinning, some may be incapable of standard abilities like shapeshifting or weapon summoning, so on and so forth.

As a fellow off-color herself, Garnet carries a deep empathy for all those who are forsaken and unwanted. She can foresee the dire fate of these Beta Gems creeping over the dawning horizon even without the benefit of future vision, can foresee that despite all of these soldiers’ loyal programming, they’re ultimately cursed to be eliminated within the cruel machine of Homeworld. One day beyond the battlefield, the so-called Great Diamond Authority will see no further use in their existence, and then they’ll be purged. Harvested for scrap. Trapped within a myriad of Gem-powered objects. Crushed and used within their drop ships for fuel.

It’s pure tyranny.

Thus, she refuses to let their cruelty stand without a just fight. They have to give these Gems a chance beyond Homeworld’s rule, because abandoning them would be abandoning everything that their brave rebellion stands for, that she stands for. She refuses to stand powerless and idle in the face of a Diamond’s commands like the Sapphire and Ruby she once was, refuses to let another tragedy slip by without at least attempting to mend its damage. She is Garnet, she is freedom, and she is love.

And deep within her core, she believes these soon-to-emerge soldiers deserve the same opportunity for renewal and hope as any other Crystal Gem.

For all Ruby’s aware, a whole geological era could have passed between that fateful moment she first set eyes on Jasper and the shards-late arrival of Amethyst and the others. All three of them duck behind the low rock formations she’s hiding in the shade of, Steven still breathing heavily from the no-doubt harried and concerned exertion of their sprint towards her. Hard light coursing from the gem in her palm to all other extremities at random intervals amidst crackling cinders of immobilizing terror, (she’s almost surprised her form isn’t flickering at this point), she desperately attempts to babble an explanation. She’ll admit— it’s not a particularly coherent one. Ask her mere minutes later, and there’s little chance she’ll be able to repeat what she said. Heck, she’s not confident about her words now, in the heat of the moment. It’s probably something about holes, something about injector scrap, about all those Gem monsters, a-and—

"Whoa, what the heck!” Amethyst blessedly interrupts, raising her head above the rocks and pointing across the clearing at the orange and red striped quartz diligently prowling the area like a true squadron leader. “Jasper’s here, too? Did everyone decide to skip on over to Beta today, or somethin’?!”

Peridot’s face scrunches in confusion as she regards her former mission partner. “What is she doing?”

“She’s got all those corrupted Gems in cages,” Steven murmurs with realization, a tiny spark of outrage lighting up behind his eyes on those creatures’ behalf. “They’re not even bubbled, they’re just… trapped, and scared!”

Ruby brings her fist to her mouth, nervously nibbling at her fingers for a moment to anchor herself back to this present. Above all else, ignoring every thread of trepidation and insecurity she bears, there’s one burning question that pulses at her core with an unmatched luminosity about this whole scenario:

“B-but why would she want so many corrupted Gems in the first place? Doesn’t she know she can’t tame them?”

The purple quartz growls, the fringe of her hair casting a dark and menacing shadow over her features as she tilts her head down and glares at her self-proclaimed rival. “I don’t think she knows nothin’.”

And as— instinctively, mistakenly, running off of over five thousand years of deep engrained habit— she attempts to open her third eye towards the winding tributaries of potential futures they may soon find themselves wading through and fails, it slowly dawns on her just how isolated and lost they all are, without Sapphire’s sight. Without her love.

“Neither do I…” she says softly, her stature shrinking in the throes of that suffocating inadequacy. Riding an abrupt wave of frustration, she slams her foot into the coarse dirt, gripping thick chunks of her coily hair between her fingers. “Aughhh, this is a terrible time to not have future vision!” she huffs, spitting out each word staccato.

“Pipe down!” Jasper hollers at the poor corrupted Gem cornered in the distance as she kicks one of the bars of its cage, her booming voice easily reverberating off the cliffs’ curvature.

All four of them can’t help but bite back their gasps upon this clamoring startle. Peeking her head just above the rim of the rocky outcropping, Ruby watches the fur covered quartz visibly shrink back at the soldier’s command. Jasper continues, her unwavering act of confidence currently undeterred by this reaction.

“You take orders from me now. You used to be a quartz too, didn’t you? What happened to you?”

Utterly failing to comprehend any of her words in this vulnerable, animalistic state, the corrupted Gem merely snaps its fangs at the bars, and then tilts its head sideways to begin chewing on one of them. Jasper scoffs, her lips rising in a mild sneer. Taking the risk to edge closer, she continues to verbally berate the poor thing, talking the same sort of smack Ruby’s former Homeworld commanding officer, Condor Agate, used to dish out. Ruby grinds her teeth together so hard as she watches this display that the pressure and heat alone might be enough to form a brand new batch of Gems. Jasper even finds a moment to rope Amethyst into her insults, which almost has the stone in question summoning her whip in pure unfiltered fury. It’s only Steven and Peridot’s quick clutch on her shoulders that holds her back from steamrolling into the clearing with zero preparation and potentially making a terrible mistake. Still, she’s gotta admit, the temptation to whoop this Homeworld brute’s butt right this minute is devilishly hard to resist.

Ruby growls, one of her gauntlets emerging into existence on her clenched fist with a burst of light. “Oh-hoh, do I wanna launch this baby right into her dumb, chalky face…!”

“But maybe first we should go back to the temple and grab reinforcements?” Peridot whispers hastily, whirling around to face her. Panic visibly tightens its grip on her form with each passing second.

She pauses a moment to let the logic of this suggestion sink in, gaze hardened, and self-consciously aware of how her fellow Gems are (wrongfully) looking towards her as their leader in this chaos. What options do they even have? They can choose to fight, that’s one. They could disengage. They could retreat to Beach City and seek backup. If they were truly desperate, they could surrender. (Although she’s not confident Jasper would gracefully accept anyone’s defeat, not until it ended with their poofed— maybe even shattered— gemstones littering the coarse sand.)

As the gears are still pirouetting in her mind, she turns towards Steven, who nods in vehement agreement of Peridot’s strategy, his mouth stretched thin.

Sighing with frustration, she loosens her grip, recalling how even Garnet was barely able to match up with Jasper’s might. “Yeah, you’re right. She’d beat us into the dirt without Pearl or Sapphire.”

“Okay, so far we got three votes for retreat,” he says, holding up the appropriate number of digits as a visual. “Amethyst?”

In sync, the trio turn towards where the quartz just stood and find nothing but faint granules of recently upended dust filtering through a beam of sunlight. Both Peridot and Steven let out a fearful squeak at her absence.

“W-where is she?” the former Homeworld technician cries, craning her neck over the top of the rock formation to try and secure a visual.

“Up there!” Steven exclaims under his breath, pointing at a ridge a good ten feet above them that crosses from the arched entrance of this natural amphitheater all the way to the other side where Jasper stands, her back still turned to them.

Following the path of his index finger, Ruby catches a flash of purple, black and lavender stealthily advancing along the narrow rim towards the very soldier who reportedly poofed her with a single strike about a week back. The light sustaining her form nearly drains from all her limbs and rushes back to her gem.

“Oh, shards no…”

Stars above, what the hell is her problem? she thinks, her mind riding in a narrow track between exacerbated vexation and dread. Does she have a death wish, or something?? Surely the last place a rational person would choose to run is directly into the arms of the Gem who clobbered them into a senseless cloud at their last meeting. Surely a rational person would instead choose to retreat and regroup. However, as she glumly reflects upon the dour happenings of the past few days, Amethyst’s actions prove she’s currently unable to think rationally about Jasper or any other kind of conflict. She’s been markedly sullen at everyone around her ever since she first got her butt whooped. Obsessed with her private training sprees. Emotionally stand-offish. Prone to making rash decisions, like letting her mouth run off at poor hapless Steven about matters that aren’t his fault, or slashing her whip right at people’s feet to push them away, or… or rushing directly towards Jasper in an enclosed space with little to no backup just because she’s desperate to show her up for the sake of her own self-worth, or whatever.

And Ruby gets it, to an extent. She understands how cripplingly powerless it can feel to be written off as ‘the weak one,’ as nothing but an expendable. She understands the vivid temptation to let one’s anger drive such antagonistic confrontations. However, she’d also like to believe that she carries enough self respect in this gem to not throw herself right on an enemy’s anvil. Whether or not Amethyst possesses the same level of restraint is another question entirely. She flexes nervous, twitchy fingers at her side as she watches her dear friend creep further along the rim, ever closer to what she fears will be her unquestionable demise.

With the corrupted Gem’s racket still occupying Jasper’s undivided attention, Amethyst leaps from the cliff’s edge and into the clearing, pulling her whip from her gem in midair. The moment her toes touch the ground again, she slashes its barbed ends at the bars of the cage, right next to the quartz soldier’s hand. Jasper yanks her digits back. Her entire body snaps tense upon this disruption. Watching from behind their rocky cover, Ruby, Steven, and Peridot bite back the urge to gasp in shock.

“HEY!” Amethyst yells, lowering on her haunches right behind her opponent.

Now, there’s obviously no way to prove it without somehow obtaining intimate knowledge of her headspace, but upon external observation, Ruby swears that this big, buff Beta Kindergarten quartz is masking surprise. The sentiment is visible in the alignment of her shoulders, lifted high and tight against her neck. It’s visible in her narrow stance, light years away from the proper form of a soldier expecting battle. Flexing her thick, dexterous fingers at her side, she makes a blatant show of puffing out her chest before she turns to face her challenger, an almost predatory smile curving upwards on her lips as she regards her.

“You back away from her,” Amethyst hisses, nodding towards the Gem in the cage.

Jasper lets out a hearty chuckle. “Oh-hoh, what do we have here? You finally decide to crawl back for a rematch, runt?”

She grits her teeth, tightening her fist around the pommel of her weapon. “That’s right. I’m back, and I’mma wipe you all over these cliffs!”

“Perfect,” her opponent practically purrs, cracking her knuckles in anticipation. “I’ve been needing a light warmup.”

Rose approves her mission without question, when she first brings her the idea. Of course she would, in retrospect— the hidden diamond she was.

Garnet takes forty of her fellow soldiers and friends with her to the Beta Kindergarten. They don’t wield any weapons. These Gems are brand new, stepping into the light for the very first time. There’s no need to threaten them; all she wants is to peacefully talk, to introduce them to the concept of freedom, of choosing their own path beyond the Diamonds’ rule.

At the time, all she wanted was to follow her beloved leader’s example and choose peace and harmony over subjugation and brutality.

But with the bitter truths they know now, and reflecting upon the horrid atrocities they themselves participated in amidst the war… despite Rose’s self-proclaimed ‘pacifism,’ despite the shaky justifications of their cause being different than Homeworld’s brand of violence... she’s increasingly unsure if any of them ever had a choice.

Tragically, it only takes mere seconds for the initial triumphant beats of Amethyst’s war against Jasper to devolve into a one-sided thrashing.

With a mighty, almost frenzied yell, Amethyst moves one foot forward for counterbalance and slings the weighted, barbed tip of her weapon directly at her opponent’s face. Jasper catches it midair, mere inches from her gem. An arrogant smile paints her visage. After winding the whip’s end around her hand, she yanks its user towards her with a snap of her wrist, swings her in a wide arc, and effortlessly slams her into the nearest cliff wall, blowing up a huge plume of pulverized rock and dust. It all happens so fast that the rest of the party barely has any time to react. As the rubble settles, Ruby finally spots her friend amidst the chaos, collapsed on hands and knees in the dirt. The poor Gem’s hands are nearly trembling as she vies to rise to her feet again, vies to stand her ground and keep fighting.

There’s only one thing she knows for sure, watching all this: if hard light were consumable rather than indelible, she would quite literally be chipping away at her knuckles with her teeth by now.

His expression blown wide with fear, Steven breaks their communal silence to holler Amethyst’s name. Hands flexing in and out of fists, he darts away from their hiding spot. And they tried to stop him, they really did— it’s simply that he’s far too nimble for either of them to catch in time.

“Steven!” Peridot cries, trying and failing to grab his hand to hold him back.

“Steven, no!” Ruby yells, arms outstretched, as he sprints into the clearing— entirely blowing any remaining amount of cover the three of them had, placing his gem at Jasper’s mercy, and causing a thousand living nightmares to flood into her consciousness in but a millisecond. “Come back!!”

“Wait! Wait,” he gasps, waving his arms wildly to catch the larger quartz’s attention as he passes into the center of this natural coliseum, firmly planting himself at Amethyst’s side. “Stop! We don’t need to do this!”

Giving a growl that would rival that of a corrupted Gem’s, Ruby clenches her fingers around thick coils of her hair at either side of her head and yanks. “Aughh, why does nobody listen to me when I’m short??”

A faint trail of glowing embers marks a record of her path as she leaves Peridot by their rocky outcropping and storms right into the open after him. Oh, hoh, hoh— that boy can disobey her clear, simple orders all he wants, but in his folly he’s forgetting one very important fact: rubies are stubborn Gems. And she’ll fight to protect him from the crossfire of Jasper’s hubris and Amethyst’s self-destruction even if that means braving her deepest terrors to run out there and drag him back to safety herself.

(Ideally, she’d be able to drag Amethyst with her out of the thunderdome as well, but she’s also quite the stubborn one. So try as she may, that’s not likely to happen.)

Ruby strides towards the middle of the clearing and defiantly plants her feet in the sterile soil right in front of Steven, and adjacent to Amethyst. She summons her gauntlets, her features twisting in a scowl. “Stand down and let them go!” she shouts up at that bulky orange quartz with all the Garnet-like confidence she can muster. “This is not a Homeworld controlled planet!”

“Steven, Ruby, get out of here!” Amethyst hisses under her breath, her battle-ready stance solidifying with a strange mixture of apprehension and anger as she regards the two of them.

“No!” she shoots back, tugging at her arm. “Come on, you know I can’t just leave you here.”

Jasper’s molten amber eyes narrow, her steely gaze colliding right into her.

“ You,” she says, enunciated as sharp as a dagger. “One half of that vile war machine.”

“War machine?!” Steven cries, distraught by the very implication. “She’s not a war machine! Garnet fuses for love!”

“Yeah!” Ruby jabs her fist in the air loud and proud.

The Homeworld warrior scoffs, seemingly not impressed by their display of solidarity. She folds her arms solid across the Yellow Diamond insignia emblazoned upon her chest and steps closer to address her directly. “And where’s this love now?” she spits, mockingly stooping to her level.

And despite the faint, triumphant memories of her last incursion with this quartz, (well… Garnet’s last incursion), she can’t help but cower in her presence, can’t help but crumble like the deficient sandstone of this very kindergarten under the cruel, personalized precision of her blunt words. Because... she’s right. Because that’s the whole problem, the pulsing heart of life’s cruel game. Fusion offered her a tantalizing taste of freedom, a glimpse of a reality where, together, a lowly guard and her sapphire could achieve literally anything through the strength of their love!— but that world feels like nothing more but an unobtainable mirage now. She’s absolutely useless on her own, just some pathetic waste of resources! No authority, no power, no wisdom of foresight— she brings nothing to the Crystal Gems’ cause. She never did. It was always her. Tears bead at her widening eyes, her gauntleted fists already beginning to tremble at her sides.

“I-I…”

“Where’s any of your power now?” Jasper continues as she raises back to her full height, lifting both open hands towards the empty, cloud-streaked skies. She throws her head back as she offers them all a bright, boastful chuckle. “To think I used to view you traitors as a threat, but now even your disgraceful cause is falling apart, isn’t it… Rose?”

Still standing a step behind her, Steven’s immediate reply brims with tones of frustration. “I’m not—“

“But you’re wrong!” a high, familiar voice urgently calls out from behind them all.

This whole messy confrontation breaks to a halt as everyone turns to gape at the lone Gem poking her head out above the rocky outcropping. Peridot gasps at the sudden influx of attention, and hastily ducks for cover again.

“What are YOU doing here?” Jasper growls with annoyance, grinding one of her feet in the dirt as if inwardly hoping she could shift the very earth they stand on and finally gain the advantage of surprise once more.

“I-I…” the green Gem stammers, slowly creeping out from her hiding spot, summoning newfound confidence as she lays her eyes on each and every one of her friends. “I’m here because our cause hasn’t fallen apart! We live on Earth to be free, to learn new things about ourselves. Like how I can bend metal to my bidding!” she exclaims, tossing enthusiastic fists into the air.

On the cliff face over twenty feet away, a skinny length of metal from one of the injector’s legs slips from the device, falls straight down, and noisily clatters as it collides against the rocky soil. Amethyst facepalms. Meanwhile, Jasper appears so underwhelmed by this display that in any other circumstance, her glazed-over expression could be comedic.

Peridot briefly scowls at her botched handiwork. “And sure,” she shrugs, nodding towards that shard of metal, “nothing’s ever perfect here, but together, we work to help and support each other, just like we’re supporting Amethyst now. Isn’t that freedom worth fighting for?”

A few beats pass as the heart of this proclamation sinks in, the ticking seconds seeing Steven beam in pride at his friend’s progression since the beginning of her stay on Earth, and Jasper’s features scrunch inwards in an almost sour manner. Between the stifling roots of her own despair, even Ruby herself can’t help but feel a little uplifted by this hopeful sentiment. It’s a well-timed salve to an old burn, a naive yet ultimately truthful promise of lighthearted days to come. After all, hasn’t her time as a Crystal Gem taught her by now that no circumstance is permanent? That a single unifying cause can collapse empires like a wildfire, can continually reshape one’s entire understanding of existence? Her gauntleted hands shift at her side as a new spark of timid confidence ignites at her core. What was she thinking, letting this brute of a quartz tower over her and define the very pillars of her own story? She’s better than this. For the very sake of her friends she has to be!

But alas, before this newfound bravery can see its hour of triumph on this secluded battlefield, she finds herself once again cast aside by one of the very friends she’s vying to protect.

Amethyst growls in frustration at their continued presence, and summons her weapon. “UGH, you GUYS!” She slashes its barbed tips against the cliff face right above Peridot, not close enough to hit her, but certainly with enough force that it spooks her into diving behind the low rock formation again. Scowling, she then turns and plucks an actively protesting Steven right off the ground. “Get out of here!” she yells, tossing him back towards the clearing’s entrance. “This isn’t your fight!”

Ruby gives a sharp yelp as she just barely leaps backwards to dodge the business end of her whip, swinging low in a vain attempt to tangle up her feet. “Hey—!”

“It’s just you and me, Jasper,” the purple quartz breathes heavily, and abruptly whirls around to jab her finger towards her opponent. “ONE-ON-ONE!”

Silently, a consenting smirk riding over her lips, the taller Gem summons her ramming helmet in a glittering flash of light.

The mission is— in the terms of the brave humans they sometimes fight alongside— a bloodbath.

When they first warped in, Garnet only expected to find a small handful of disoriented jaspers, citrines, and carnelians roaming about. Gems they could talk to. Gems they could reason with, just as Rose reasoned with her fellow quartzes at the very start of this bold rebellion. Instead, what emerges soon after their arrival is more shocking and unpredictable than any future Garnet could’ve ever visualized.

Bursting from the very heart of this slapdash, rushed Kindergarten, despite every single locational and structural disadvantage this place stacks against one’s favor, is Her.

The strongest, most perfectly formed jasper she’s ever laid eyes on. She’s seven feet tall, built as solid as diamond, her flawlessly faceted gemstone gleaming bright and proud in the rising sun. She wastes no time in following the miserable orders the Great Diamond Authority cruelly embedded deep within her soul, immediately calling the hundreds of scattered and confused off-color Gems surrounding her to action.

Garnet and her squadron simply don’t have enough time to intervene, to try and settle this skirmish halfway peacefully. They don’t have the numbers.

Twenty three Crystal Gems are shattered that day. Numerous more on both sides are cracked or poofed.

And yet one of the greatest tragedies, in her mind… is that these emergent Gems never got the proper chance to consider any purpose beyond their assigned station. Never got a chance to glimpse the promise of their own freedom.

Everything happened so fast.

She took this place for granted— thanks to her own preconceived notions about the kinds of Gems that could emerge here, utterly failed to foresee this potential turn of events— and in the end it cost lives. Both those of her fellow Crystal Gems, her friends … and those of the Beta quartzes she failed to save from Homeworld’s damaging influence.

That night, as she bitterly weeps for the recovered shards of the beloved they lost, clenches her gauntleted fists tight around her gemstones, she vows to never let such a harrowing tragedy escape her vision again. No more.

A leader like her is not allowed to fail.

With the mighty roar of a lion, Amethyst stamps her leading foot to the ground to center her balance and rears her weapon-wielding arm back, wholly intending to defend her pride from this boorish bully. The first and second slashes are fruitful, one striking Jasper in the face, and the next hitting her chest with such intense force that it slams her into the cliff wall a few feet back, but Ruby can’t help but dread the litany of unknown possibilities haunting their future as she watches, powerless in her lack of second sight to influence their present. Could Amethyst win this fight? Sure. There’s gotta be at least one river of time where that occurs, where Jasper is so wrapped up within that facade of insufferable hubris that she fails to take her seriously as an opponent and pays the price. But on the other hand, she senses so many chinks in Amethyst’s armor that she can’t help but fear the opposite. She’s blinded by her anger, unable to consider consequence rationally. Her form in battle— compared to her usual performance— is notably sloppy, as if she’s throwing herself at this fight with such an explosion of tangled, raw emotion that her years of training and refinement have all but melted away in the inferno. Her fingers are trembling as she tightens her grasp on the whip’s pommel.

All of this stated, Ruby may not possess the gift of Sapphire’s future vision, but she has more than enough experience on patrol and on the battlefield to recognize a soldier who is woefully unprepared for a fight. Something terrible is about to happen, she can just feel it.

“Be careful!!” she cries, cupping her hands around her mouth.

“It’s fine, she’s totally rocking this!” Steven says with a huge grin, seeming uncharacteristically calm, given the circumstances. He whoops, and punches his fist in the air. “Go Amethyst!”

Ruby and Peridot briefly match eyes, the noted concern in their gazes pointing towards the fact that they both think that Amethyst’s insistence to fight is reckless and naive. In retrospect, of course her friend would agree with her. She spent a lot of time cohabiting with Jasper on their journey to Earth, so she’s bound to be well aware of her fundamental nature.

At the moment however, given the shorter quartz’s tunnel vision, she’s certain that any of their valid concerns would fall upon deaf ears.

“Who’s weak now, huh?” Amethyst spits from across the clearing, flicking her wrist to activate the triplet spiked balls at the ends of her whip, an upgrade gifted by Bismuth she surprisingly hasn’t seemed to have abandoned. With a holler, she swings her leading arm back and around to build up momentum and then slashes at Jasper’s chest three times in succession. The last hit comes with enough force to push her backwards in the dirt a few feet. “Who’s powerless NOW?!”

Then, just as Ruby fearfully predicted, the winds shift.

The firestorm doubles back upon them, Jasper merely swatting the flail ends away like they were nothing more but a momentary nuisance. Her expression narrows into a scowl. Emergent shock mingles alongside the dark cloud of Amethyst’s anger like wayward lightning bolts as she growls in frustration, the side-swept fringe of her hair shadowing her features. In retaliation she summons a second whip and immediately slashes them both against the soil, endowing them with a crackling, purple-tinged energy, almost a fire of her own making. She tucks into a ball and literally hurls herself at the quartz warrior, her form only recognizable in the heat of that moment via a dazzling blaze of light.

The resulting collision throws up so much dirt and smoke that Ruby has to throw her small body in front of Steven’s to shield him from the worst of the debris.

When the thick curtains of dust finally part, the consequences of this overly-impulsive move are revealed. Jasper still stands proud and tall, her mettle unaffected by this attempted show of strength. Barely a scuff even marrs her uniform. Meanwhile, Amethyst lays hunched over on hands and knees, hacking up fragmented remnants of sandstone she likely swallowed amidst the impact. (Alas, that’s the price she pays for choosing to always reform with an semi-operational digestive system.)

“Is it sinking in yet?” Jasper queries pointedly, advancing towards the trembling Gem on the ground.

Amethyst is so exhausted she can’t even muster the strength to respond, her arms quivering beneath her as she vies to hold up the simulated weight of her hard light form.

Her foe roughly kicks her in the chest, her foot striking mere inches under her gem. Ruby visibly cringes at both the shallow huff of distress that this hit elicits from her, and Steven’s cries of fear in response.

“It doesn’t matter how long or hard you fight,” Jasper boasts, her imposing figure hovering like a bad omen over her quartz sibling’s, “because I’ll always be stronger! Runts like you never had a chance. Runts like you are worthless.”

Angrily, she grinds her teeth together, cradling the vulnerable gemstone on her hand.

Worthless.

Who the hell does this square hunk of stone think she is, slinging such heavy-handed words around like the blunt end of a mallet?

“Get your worthless, sorry forms back in formation!” wretched old Condor Agate used to scream at her and the others in her squad, back when she spent eternity guarding empty corridors, back before she was eventually reassigned to Sapphire’s personal guard. “You’re an embarrassment to your commanding agates, all of you!”

Ruby growls, finding her resolve. That’s it. No more. She can’t bear to stand at the sidelines gripped in fear while some bully is literally beating her friend into the ground, both physically and emotionally. She can’t bear for Amethyst to fall prey to the same type of unwavering torment she herself experienced all those years ago on Homeworld, torment that utterly deformed her sense of self-worth until recognizing any ounce of good in herself became a gargantuan, near-impossible task. Admittedly, she still hasn’t healed from those days. Not entirely. Sometimes she’s unsure she ever will. But it’s her duty to put an end to this, to what’s happening in the here and now. After all, what’s the point of being a Crystal Gem if you don’t look after the people you love?

“We have to separate them,” she says firmly, turning towards Steven and Peridot. “She’s gonna get clobbered!”

The former kindergartener’s expression warps to despair under her visor. “But how? She doesn’t even want us to be here! And none of us are strong enough to face Jasper…”

“Could we make a distraction?” Steven suggests, his voice tinged with the same sort of urgency she feels thrumming like a frantic drum line at the depths of her core.

Humming in thought, Ruby considers the status quo. To no success, she attempts to ignore her friends’ expectant gazes, trustingly falling upon her exactly like all those fellow rebellion soldiers used to look at Garnet… as their de facto leader. But she’s no leader, far from it. Garnet would barely have to think before coming up with a genius, foolproof plan, but she’s going into everything blind. She can’t weigh out potential consequences before rushing into action. She has no ability to pinpoint the most ideal outcome and work backwards from there. With all this in mind, it’s really no wonder that Garnet passed command of the group to Pearl instead of her. At least Pearl has experience leading missions solo.

And yet desperate times call for desperate measures.

She scans their surroundings for inspiration, considering what options may be open to them. At this point there’s no time to double back to the barn or the temple for reinforcements. (And she strongly doubts Lapis would care to so much as match eyes with Jasper, anyways.) One or more of them could always charge into the fray to attempt and break up this small skirmish by force, but that would risk their safety, too. The last thing she wants is to knowingly throw her friends into harm’s way. No, the best option would be breaking the two quartzes up using something in their immediate environment, something large and heavy but capable of being quickly moved, something like...

Her eyes snap wide. “That injector!” she whispers excitedly, pointing to the hulking piece of junked equipment precariously hanging from the cliff wall, only stabilized by a few legs that still penetrate the cracked sandstone. “It’s right above them. If we knocked it down, then maybe…”

Peridot flashes a hopeful smile, and nods.

“We’re on it,” Steven says, summoning his shield. The two of them glance at each other, perhaps silently coordinating their plan, and then leap into action.

“Metal powers activate!” she exclaims, and throws her hands up in the direction of that rusted injector.

Subtly but noticeable, its legs begin to shift and creak under the force of her ferrokinesis, loosening from the eroding stone. Licking his lips, Steven aims his weapon and hurls. It strikes the device directly at its center, clanging against solid metal. The injector wobbles for a moment, its delicate balance obviously destabilized by this force, and then begins to slide free from the porous kindergarten wall. One still-impacted leg snaps under the torque as the cylinder’s immense weight plummets towards the ground.

“Heads up!” Steven calls out, causing a bemused Jasper to flick her gaze skyward, towards the falling object staining the soil with an ever-growing shadow.

The collision of the junky old injector almost appears like a small explosion, flinging dirt a good ten feet into the air and resolutely separating the two quartzes. But Ruby barely has time to high five Peridot and celebrate their success before the kid she’s supposed to be keeping safe darts off into the clearing once more. She hisses a small curse under her breath. Drat, of course he’d run straight to Amethyst’s side again at his first opportunity! She should’ve seen that coming a whole star system away. At least Jasper’s been temporarily marooned on the other side of that busted Gem tech, though.

The real question is, for how long?

Nibbling at her lip, she hastily sprints towards the edge of the injector to keep a watchful eye on their opponent as Steven attempts to have a mid-battlefield heart-to-heart. (At least, that’s what she assumes he’s doing. Admittedly, they kinda failed to hammer out the fine details of their plan before sprinting into action. Her fault.) Thankfully though, at first glimpse it seems the impact’s force has effortlessly knocked Jasper clear off her feet. She seems slightly dazed, but beyond that remains unscathed. Time will only tell if this strategy was a beneficial one. Briefly turning back towards the group, Ruby watches Steven crouch next to Amethyst. She’s muttering something to him, she thinks— her expression raw with fresh tears— but her words are far too hushed to make out. Whatever she shares, however, it’s clearly enough to elicit a strong emotional reaction from her companion.

“No, no!” he pleads, hurt painting his features. “My mom- Rose, she doesn’t matter. Whatever Jasper thinks doesn’t matter. She's the only one who thinks you should be like her!”

“But-”

“Stop trying to be like Jasper. You're nothing like Jasper! You're like me!”

“But even you’re different!” she explodes at first, but any anger present in her form immediately evaporates into something more innately hesitant, more self-conscious. Her fingers claw thick troughs into the reddened soil as she curls them inwards. “I’m not like you at all, I’m not some di—”

“No, that’s not the point!” he says, tears of his own budding at the corners of his eyes. “You’re like me because we’re both not like anybody. And yeah, it sucks. Everyone always expects us to be someone we’re not, but you know what? At least I've always got you. And you've got me! So stop leaving me out of this!”

Slowly pushing herself to her feet behind the junked injector, Jasper groans, her voice strained with newfound exhaustion Ruby never imagined she possessed.

“Y’guys, she’s getting up!” she calls out to her friends behind her, equally a warning as it is a call to action. After all, if this bold stunt finally managed to crack through the first layer of their opponent’s armor, then they might genuinely stand a chance now.

She’ll never know if they heard her, though— because in the same split second she turns back to check on them, the now embracing pair is engulfed in a blinding white light.

Even in the absence of a soldier's fire, everything turns to smoke.

#su #steven universe #ruby #amethyst #jasper #peridot #su fanfiction #my writing stuff #crack the paragon

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mimik-u · 4 years ago

Text

“Change Your Mind” Re-watch:

I’ve been dealing with this feeling on and off ever since I started “Diamond Days” earlier this week, but dang, I’m a little sad that I’ve reached the end of the show again. Of course, I’m excited to visit the movie again and see Future for the first time (!!!), but this episode above all really marks the end of an era. But things end and things change.

That’s the thesis of this episode anyway. And really, the nature of this beautiful show. :’)

Steven’s dream sequence is so haunting, both in terms of it explicitly showing us how Blue Diamond is currently recapitulating the very same cycles which pushed Pink away by showing us such a similar flashback from the past, but also by dredging up the horror of Pink’s memories. The idea that Steven’s gem still has access to some of his mother’s memories is used to its most visceral effect here, in which we get a nightmare heightened lens of how miserable she was, and often times, scared.

When the Diamonds stretched out their grieving hands through the cosmos and towards the world their youngest member loved, how did Rose feel to at once get a confirmation that she had been loved? Loved so powerfully that the Diamonds would try to destroy an entire planet to exact their revenge, and yet, at the same time, loved so terribly that they would never think twice about doing so, or that it took this for them to ever show it?

“This... isn’t normal. How many times did you lock her in here? How many times did you make her cry?” / “I didn’t... I... And I’m doing it again, aren’t I?” God, this exchange always undoes me. Not only is it Steven calling Blue out, but in a way, it’s him standing up for his mother, realizing what misery the Diamonds put her through and putting a name on it for Blue to recognize, contend with, and finally, accept. Blue tries to defend herself at first, but then, in the end, can’t. Because there’s no defense. There’s no excuse. And to horribly mangle a quote from Legend of Korra, by reaching that lowest point, Blue Diamond finally becomes open to the possibility of change.

It’s always so evocative to me that she collapses next to the tower window that’s at her eye level. Never explicitly stated, I think it really is implied here that Yellow and Blue have seen their fair share of this tower before, too, their trespasses of decorum excised out of them by White. In return, they tried to do the same to Pink. Cycles and cycles and cycles.

Gsleidjsneioeis, it never fails to make me laugh that Yellow is just sitting in the darkness, straddling her throne, waiting for Blue. Emo ass. I love her.

The Diamonds both look so shocked when Blue slaps Yellow’s hand away, as though neither of them can fathom, process, and believe what just happened. And yet, really, this is the climax to the schism between them that we’ve known since “That Will Be All.” They love each other—they loved Pink—but they have differed, fundamentally, on how to grapple with the pain of loving someone and losing her and existing from then on.

“When we thought Pink was shattered, when she abandoned us, I alone was there for you, and you would use your power against ME?” GO OFF, PATTI LUPONE EIEOSJSA. But this line gets me, too. Jesus. Yellow loves Blue so much.

“Didn’t we hurt Pink? She was suffering in silence for ages, just like our gems, just like me. And I know you’re suffering in silence, too.” HHHHHHH, AND THIS LINE. I think it’s significant because it’s Blue making a move we’ve rarely seen from her before—empathy. Her whole complex is that she’s been so lost in her own emotions that she forces them on everyone else, but here she does something monumental; not only does she acknowledge her own pain, but she uses it to recognize that others have been hurting, too. She and Yellow hurt Pink. (She makes herself and Yellow the agents of the action, therefore not evading the blame.) And so many of their gems have been hurt, too. Yellow has been hurting.

In her vulnerable expression that follows, it’s clear to the audience that Yellow knows her fellow Diamond’s words to be true, but she’s not ready to accept their veracity, to look inwards at the heart of her own misery. Also, help. I’m only 9 minutes into the episode.

“Does this look perfect to you?” And Yellow’s anger is stopped in its tracks. She looks immediately to Blue, literally smoking on the ground from the force of her attack. A fragment of palace crumbles emptily away. And this is the crux of the Homeworld Empire. It demands every gem, from the Diamonds downward, to sacrifice in the name of of perfection. But they’ve placed too much of an emphasis on appearance, numbers, quantity, and power, never interrogating the consequences that pursuing these ‘impressive’ entities bring: misery, hopelessness, despair.

“Stop... stop it, Blue. Stop using your power on me.” / “I’m not.” Hhhhhhhhh, I’m tender. And then, when Blue Diamond sweeps over to hold Yellow’s head?????? This is what being a Bellow Diamond fan is all about, okay rieososossnjaaj.

“You’ve made a grave mistake. Go to your rooms!” / “Uh, which rooms should we go to?” GJKHDFVHJNJJ. But yeah, White has definitely used the tower on Blue and Yellow b4.

Bismuuuuth, Lapis, Peri!!! God, I love Lapis’s outfit so much.

“Yellow and I will keep White distracted.” / Just go! Go! Hurry! She’s getting up!” Blue and Yellow know that in making this choice, they’ll face severe consequences, but still initially make the choice anyway.

And yet, Steven doesn’t let them make that choice. He doesn’t run away. Because he and this show fundamentally believe that change is effected through communication.

I still have thirty minutes of this episode left to go oskeodjsnsnsk, but now I need to symbolically talk about the Diamond mecha. It’s very on point that White’s ship can’t function if the other parts aren’t cooperating!!

The Diamonds finally expressing their vulnerabilities to the blankly staring ship is just so sad. They’re finally doing the emotional work that they’ve been neglecting for thousands upon thousands of years, and they’re almost literally meeting a wall.

“We Diamonds might be hard, but we’re also brittle.” / “I know my purpose isn’t to be happy.” Hhhhhhhhhh, these lines. The rigidity of the Diamond Authority has forced Yellow and Blue to become hard, to be unhappy. They, like all their gems, are suffering beneath the strain. Starting from the way it literally drains a planet of resources, this empire was never sustainable.

Cries bc the Diamonds are holding hands, AND THEN CRIES BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN VIOLENTLY AND PAINFULLY PUPPETEERED.

THE FUSING MONTAGE!!! EKSSKSJ, I love how when he goes to fuse with Pearl, he does a few ballerina moves. AND I LOVE HOW 2.0 IS UNREPENTANTLY BRITISH. IT’S SO FJNNY AND RIGHT.

“AH! Steven, we fused!” She’s so happy!!!!!!!!!! Hhhh!!!!!

“I’m here. I love you.” Steven says this before fusing with Garnet, and there’s nothing else that could have ever been so fitting for a fusion who prides herself on being here and being made, so beautifully and entirely, of love.

Sunstone always looks and sounds like they’re two seconds away from breaking the 4th wall on a Sunny D commercial from the 1990s, and that’s amazing.

OBSIDIAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN. Everything about them is FUCKING EPIC. (Also, if you haven’t listened to the S5 soundtrack yet, you need to go listen to Obsidian’s track without background noises!!!!!!! It’s so motivating! I listen to it when I’m studying sometimes!)

I’m still soft about Bismuth giving Connie her own sword. Let them b sword buddies 2k20.

BIG FYCKING LAVA SWORD!!!!

The animation on this episode is absolutely insane. God, the Crewniverse did so good.

“Poor Yellow. Her impurities absorb all the blue in her light. She’s so strong, but so weak when it comes to Blue.” 😭😭😭 What do you mean I’m still emotional over the fact that Yellow Diamond’s one perceived weakness is Blue? Hahahaha.

“Ah, and Blue. Her impurities soak up all the warmth in her spectrum. She thinks she needs you, Pink.” 😭😭😭 She needs Pink to be warm.

“But you’re a part of me, the part I always have to repress.” White doesn’t yet realize it, but this is actually her revealing her own flaw. Not only does she repress her love for Pink, but she represses her own sense of pinkness, too. So cerebral and so detached, she’s allowed herself to exist for these past 6,000+ years in the gaping maw without Pink as a being who has subjugated the entirety of her emotional expression. Just as Blue and Yellow are equals and opposites, so too, were Pink and White.

“Insecure, dependent, obsessed.” God. Another thing about White Diamond’s powers in relation to Pink is that White has the capacity to know a gem’s thoughts once she possesses them, whereas Pink was able to relate and empathize with their emotions. And indeed, that’s how Steven came to know and help the Gems’ problems over the course of the entirety of this show—through empathy, relation, compassion, and understandings, concepts so foreign to White Diamond. Simply alien.

POV: You’re Connie Maheswaran, and you have to fight a possessed bastardization of the Gem who once lovingly taught you everything you know about how to wield a sword.

White Diamond so simply and so precisely plucking Steven’s gem out of his stomach is the single most terrifying visual on this show. Jfc.

“SHE’S GONE.” The animus of the Pink Diamond gem prmordially screams the truth that White Diamond refuses to accept. Pink is gone. There’s no undoing death. There’s no separation from gem and body. There is only, just as there has always been for fourteen years, Steven.

He is not, and never will he ever be, his mother.

Oh, my God. This show.

And just as White Diamond parting Steven from his gem is the scariest moment in the show, Steven reuniting with him is the most transcendent. He laughs. He hugs himself. He dances. Because Steven Universe is entirely his own being.

And he loves himself. That is the crucial part. That is the beginning and the end and the resolution. Oh, my GOD. This show.

“I am a child. What’s your excuse?” KWIDIDOSJSKSKSISOSMA, GET HER.

Steven walking over to comfort Pink Pearl, even though he doesn’t know her, even though the only iteration he has seen of her has been her lobotomized version—forbidding and detached—is so tender.

WISOSJSJS, I know this is emotionally deep and indicative of just how ingrained their psychological complexes are that they don’t know how to deal with vulnerable expressions of emotion, but White, Yellow, and Blue being so dramatic about White blushing is honestly hilarious.

Sadie singing “Let Me Drive My Van into Your Heart” is so good, but what’s even better is that two second shot of Greg blushing listening to his song being sung. ;-;

Oh! Oh! And Barb is in the audience! Character development! Growth!

“No more hiding! No more running! No more Diamond Authority!” KWOWOEJDKDOSJSJSISSJSJ.

Lion padding up to Lars in a silent recognition that they’re the same ;-;-;-;

I think Sadie and Lars reuniting with such drastically different appearances and mindsets is simply just one of the coolest ways this show has come full circle. This show’s about everyone changing. Look at these two. Look at where they started, and now, where they’ve begun again.

Genuinely crying at the last few shots of the show again. Oh, my GOD. The pure, unmitigated joy. Nephrite and Steven. Bismuth and Biggs. Garnet and Pearl. Jasper and Amethyst. The Diamonds.

This show really is about love and forgiveness and healing, y’all. 😭😭😭😭

AND THEN THEY COMPLETE THE SHOT FROM THE INTRO. I AM UNWELL. IT’S 8AM.

This show, in every sense of the word, is a miracle.

Thank you, Crewniverse for this comet of epic proportions.

#steven universe #blue diamond #yellow diamond #bellow diamond #white diamond #pink diamond #garnet #Pearl #amethyst #connie maheswaran #s: steven universe #mimiku #long post #I am EMOTIONAL

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daylighteclipsed · 5 years ago

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“This is another reason most of future lost rights” May we hear your thoughts?

Now that I have officially finished watching the original Steven Universe series, I have many Thoughts about the continuation. Prepare for some detailed salty takes.

-- My biggest gripe is that Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst lose pretty much all of the emotional intelligence they gain in the original series to maximize Steven’s suffering.

So like the gifset that prompted this ask for example, where Garnet realizes she’s hurt Steven with her future vision and apologizes? Makes her reaction in Future to realizing she hurt Steven again OOC. The OG series also teaches us and Steven that Garnet can’t see definites, because there’s so many possibilities, and the future’s always changing, and the future can always be changed. So her line about how there was no universe where Steven didn’t propose to Connie as her reason for why she didn’t try to stop him, is bullshit.

The Volleyball episode gives away that Steven is clearly not OK, and Pearl does nothing about it. Neurotic, mother hen, let’s make a plan Pearl does not ask Steven if he’s alright and makes 0 plans to train him to control his new alarming powers. Pearl, who now has a better sense of how trauma works because she has it herself, who we have seen in the OG series suspect Steven is dealing with some post traumatic stress after being taken to Homeworld and reach out to him about it, does not in Future reach out to him after he expresses blatant distress over having to deal with more of his mom’s problems. I’m supposed to believe this? Seriously?

And Amethyst? I think she’s the most obvious offender since a big part of her arc in the end of the OG series is emotional maturity.There’s a whole episode dedicated to her putting Steven’s feelings first. Acknowledging the pressure he’s been under and the shit that’s been dumped on him for years and the horror of finding out Rose was a Diamond which makes him a Diamond and recognizing that he’s not OK. He can’t be. Learning that Steven deals by distracting himself with other tasks and people. But sure when Amethyst notices Steven throwing himself into his work in Future, her response is just “When did you become such a prick?” Yeah. Totally sounds right.

There is a whole arc about these two emotionally connecting through their insecurities and the strength they find in having each other to relate to and rely on and confide in. It is one of my favorites in the entire story. And it is totally thrown out a window in Future. If no one else you’d think at least Amethyst would reach out to Steven in Future before he spirals, but no.

Literally it’s like the entire Gem trio’s emotionally sent back to square 1 and their perception’s lowered to 0, which is lower than it was to begin with, because it was the only way Future could work. Seriously, after Prickly Pair nobody tries to talk to Steven? Nobody insists they need to talk about what the fuck just happened? Nobody goes after Steven when he runs away, twice?! Once after crashing the van with his dad inside, in which he disappears for 3 whole days. Another time after talking about how they can’t help him anymore, which is really alarming! Then they all just let Steven go when he returns from Homeworld glowing with Diamond pupils?! are you kidding me, are you fUcking KidDing me am I supposed to believe they’re even his friends in Future what the fuck I hate this

-- And framing everything like the Gems have never been there for Steven? Hate that too. There’s countless episodes in the OG series proving that’s not true. Steven himself says it’s not. At one point that’s what keeps him from literally falling from the sky.

“I just need something that makes me happy, something I can always depend on to cheer me up. My guys. They spent all night out here just to keep me company. No matter how much I mess up they’ll be there to help me.”

It’s the biggest reason why the Gems are foils to the Diamonds!

“Remember back when I was little and maybe kind of annoying, and I couldn’t come along on adventures? You guys would still drop everything to hang out with me.”

Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst begin kind of oblivious and inattentive, but they don’t stay that way. They are always learning, and apologizing, and changing when they realize their behavior is harmful. To themselves, to the team as a whole, to strangers, to Steven. They do very early in the series start setting work aside to spend time with him. Together breakfast (which ends up meaning so much to Garnet that it becomes her wedding cake), mini golf, cards, board games, movies, the arcade, the amusement park. They’re Steven’s band in beach-a-palooza. They become, not only better caretakers, but his friends.

A team. For the main Crystal Gem quartet so much of the show is about them learning to become a team by learning to understand each other and helping each other grow, leading to a stunning display of teamwork in the finale with Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst, and Steven all fusing together into one kickass warrior, Obsidian. It’s so perfect that this didn’t, couldn’t, happen until the end, after all that development. It’s so satisfying.

-- Like I mentioned before, there’s no reason why the Gems, including the others like Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth, wouldn’t try to help Steven learn to control his new powers in Future.

-- A lot of the, uh, conflicts Steven faces in Future also feel ignorant to the OG series.

Steven in future: i just feel like i can’t make mistakes in front of you guys and cant be honest cause its mean and i have to be nice and perfect :(

Steven in og series: oh geez I really messed up sorry guys; [feels like the worst Crystal Gem cause he’s always fucking up]; (Garnet: You’re making Pearl very upset) “IM very upset!“; “What Rose wanted--ARGH! What about what I want?! I’m sick of you always lying to me!”; “Home’s been awful! Here’s been awful! Everyone’s been acting awful too!”

Steven in future: idk how to be a friend to someone who’s not a miserable sad sack with no direction in life

Connie: hey what the fuck

What was the point of all the townie episodes if we’re going to act like Steven never connected with the human part of his life why would the og show bounce between gem eps and human eps if not to show how Steven connects with both worlds ad’g;ajfgjfagjLAFKJS

Steven in future: why didn’t my meddling advice work? this has never happened before. am i losing my touch. who am i

Og Steven, multiple times: aaAAAAAH I SHOULD NOT HAVE MEDDLED AND PUSHED I MADE THINGS WORSE

- Why wasn’t Mindful Education revisited? Steven’s a fusion technically, right, so if he’s feeling, you know, deeply conflicted about his 2 halves, doesn’t that mean he’s out of harmony? There’s a way for 2 halves of a fusion to communicate through meditation and address what’s causing the imbalance, but I guess that would’ve solved Steven’s problem too easily. That’s the only reason Connie’s kept out of Future for so long too, right? Ugh. Never mind the fact that Mindful Ed taught Steven that it’s really important to face upsetting thoughts and feelings and traumas before they tear him apart. But whatever! what ever

- God this isn’t even half of the issues I now have with Future, but I don’t want this post to be 8 miles longer than it already is. Basically I feel like Future does a disservice to the characters and story being told in the original series, which I am very fond of now. It reminds me of an OOC fanfiction. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I really do not want to argue about this. It’s just my opinion. I’m kind of venting. If you agree, great. If you don’t, please keep scrolling. Thanks.

#this is very salty im sorry #and long #negativity #//#su #crystal gems #steven

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suf-lives-rent-free · 4 years ago

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Fragments

Everything below is just my opinion; I am in no way trying to say that how I feel about this is the one correct take or whatever.

I know a lot of people like this episode and what happens in it, but I don’t. I totally understand that some people just don’t want to see any negativity, period, but negativity is not inherently bad or wrong.

Negative opinions, even about something you enjoy, can be valid too - regardless of whether you happen to agree with them or not.

Also I get very salty near the end of this, and that might be entertaining to people who stan this episode?

I am aware that a lot of people – the majority, I’m pretty sure – think that the episode is a masterpiece. And on some level, I see where they’re coming from with that assessment.

The episode is boarded beautifully, the backgrounds – especially during the training montage – are stunning as always. The music is fantastic, and the performances are great too. In these respects, Fragments is a stand-out episode; I agree.

(Like look at this. Gorgeous.)

However, something that’s bothered me since I saw the episode is the writers’ decision to write it into the story that Steven shatters Jasper.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: I just don’t get it. I’m purposefully misinterpreting the story to say it’s bad. Steven brings her back to life; and it’s not like he meant to do it in the first place. I just don’t have the capacity to understand the sublime nature of the show’s storytelling. I’m an SU crit and all I want to do is make the real fans feel about themselves for liking it.

Uhhhh... no. Nah. That ain’t it chief.

It’s true; I am not a writer. I’m just a passive consumer of media. However, I do not agree with the viewpoint that in order to properly understand or critique a thing you need to have the expertise and/or experience in order to make something similar.

For example, if I were to put something I drew when I was 10 years old next to something I drew yesterday, it shouldn’t take a person who has had an education in fine art to tell you that the latter drawing is better-looking than the former.

That’s how I approach media consumption and criticism; when I criticise a writing decision, I am doing so as a consumer. I’m not saying I could write it better, or even that my opinion is objectively correct and the writer is wrong or bad. I’m just saying that I didn’t like a thing. Which, I would hope, is allowed?

Okay, defensive hedging over, back to the point; I don’t like that they had Steven shatter Jasper.

[I get markedly saltier from this point on, fyi]

Full admission of bias here: one of the things I really cherish about the original show is how they wrote Steven’s character; he’s a boy with interests that don’t rigidly conform to gender stereotypes. He likes ‘boyish’ things and ‘girly’ things, and that’s okay; thats just him. In cartoons when I was growing up, characters like Steven would be the butt of jokes about being ‘girly’ or thinly-veiled homophobia. I find him very relatable, and I want to acknowledge that yes, that is probably a significant part of why I have such an issue with this episode’s twist.

I am not trying to say that he’s a perfect baby angel or whatever; Steven regularly gets frustrated and angry. He does some pretty manipulative and dickish things to people around him (stop trying to make Larsadie happen, Steven. It’s not going to happen). He is a flawed character who fucks up sometimes. And he’s not 100% peaceful either; he acts violently when he defends himself against corrupted Gems and Homeworld Gems (and Crystal Gems on occasion *cough*Bismuth*cough*).

However, he has a pacifistic temperament; whenever it’s possible, he prefers that problems be solved without needless violence or hurt. And I like that; in most media, it’s rare to have a male protagonist who wants to solve their problems without jumping straight to punching things.

When he accidentally frees Centipeedle, he convinces the Gems to step off and allow him to try and rehabilitate her peacefully; he even notices that the Gems’ weapons are a trigger for her, and make them put them away. He frees Lapis against the Gems’ wishes because he recognizes that keeping her prisoner is wrong, and when she steals the ocean, he talks it out and heals her so she can leave Earth peacefully.

He tries to aid Jasper when she starts corrupting, fixes Eyeball’s gemstone when she’s cracked and tries talking Bismuth down when she attacks him with the breaking point. In all of these situations, his words and help are ignored or rejected; he’s forced to resort to violence. And it traumatises him.

We get an entire episode dedicated to the fact that he’s been struggling with processing these awful things that happened.

Even in Future, Steven shows hesitation about engaging in unncecessary violence; he gives into Jasper’s goading for a fight after what’s implied to be dozens of failed tries at making her come to Little Homeschool, and he spends an entire episode trying to keep Lapis from squashing the two rogue Lapis Lazulis.

The only time he hops into a fight willingly is after Eyeball and Aquamarine hold Greg hostage, and even then they pose a clear threat to his and Greg’s safety and have made it clear that they want to hurt him emotionally and physically. Even at that, he stops and switches tactics to talking them down as soon as they lose their focus and start bickering with each other.

(I mean, he fails. But it’s the thought that counts.)

I personally find it really jarring that the writers found it appropriate to write it into the series that this same character – over the course of three (3) days – goes from disliking mindless violence for mindless violence’s sake to happily engaging in the destruction of plants and animals* and has done a total 180 on his willingness to spar with Jasper, to the point that he instigates their rematch.

*(You best believe plenty of small mammals and birds – y’know, like the nest Steven saved in the first episode – died as he and Jasper felled tree after tree, not to mention all of those displaced by the destruction of their habitats, and the potential loss of food sources from some of those trees.)

You’re telling me that it’s a reasonable character beat for this boy to gleefully laugh like an anime supervillain at his sudden new-found joy in fighting, then pin Jasper in place, taunt her for helping him get so strong, and hit her so hard that she breaks into pieces and dies?

You’re telling me that that’s an in-character thing for Steven Quartz Diamond Cutie-Pie DeMayo Universe do to another character?

(And yes I am purposefully dancing around talking about the mental health stuff because if I did that I’d have to go on a whole other tangent about Growing Pains and fuck I just don’t feel like it right now lmao)

Going back to Mindful Education, another big thing we see Steven struggle with is the idea that his mother shattered Pink Diamond. This knowledge sits heavily with him; it makes him sympathetic to the Diamonds, even under the circumstances in which he sees them (escaping from the Human Zoo, and being on trial for said murder).

He sees their grief, and he feels awful. He questions who Rose Quartz even was. He knows, based on what Garnet said, that Rose had to do it; there was no other way to free Earth. But he still feels awful seeing the pain that Pink’s loss has caused Blue and Yellow Diamond.

In Steven Universe, shattering is clearly equated with execution/death multiple times. When Pearl and Garnet fret over the crack in Amethyst’s gemstone worsening. When Blue Diamond threatens to break Ruby. When Bismuth introduces the breaking point, and Steven recoils at the sight of what it does. If you want to take the fact that Gem shards are sentient and desperate to become whole again into account, you could even argue that it’s a fate worse than death. This particular act of violence is treated very, very seriously.

When we find out that Rose shattered Pink Diamond, there is a season and a half long arc unpacking the implications and consequences of this one action, and how this knowledge forever alters Steven’s mental image of his mother. And she didn’t even kill anyone. It was a lie!

In Steven Universe Future, Steven shatters Jasper 4 episodes before the end of the series. And it’s only brought up twice; once for a big *gasp* moment during his breakdown in Everything’s Fine, and in I Am My Monster by Pearl, when she has to fill-in Bismuth, Lapis and Peridot. Notably, it is never discussed around or by Jasper. Y’know. The person who actually died.

No indication of how (or even if) what Steven did is affecting his own self-image after his initial breakdown, how Jasper feels about what she went through beyond falling back into the Era 1 and 2 mindset. No inkling of how the knowledge that Steven killed somebody has affected how anyone in his life thinks or feels about him; when Pearl brings it up in I Am My Monster, she seems to not even really believe it’s true.

If there are any consequences or talks about this incident, they’re skipped over between I Am My Monster and The Future, and we’re expected to assume that Steven and his therapist are dealing with it, I guess?

And yes. It was an accident. He did bring her back to life. But it still happened. If you hit someone over the head and they stop breathing, just because the paramedics are able to resusitate and stabilize them afterwards doesn’t mean you never hit them.

But here, it’s shoved aside because dwelling on it would take far too much time, and risks framing Steven in an unsympathetic way when he’s meant to be on the cusp of a breakdown.

It just feels like careless writing to me. They really, really wanted their big action scene with Steven and Jasper, but didn’t think (or maybe weren’t interested in thinking) about the seriousness or consequences of what Steven shattering someone would entail.

In my opinion, Steven shattering Jasper is one of the cheapest, laziest things they could have ever done with his character (and hers, for that matter). To me, the entire thing feels entirely out of character. It’s pure shock value; nothing more.

So yeah. That particular writing decision just does not work for me. And if you disagree... well that’s fine? It’s fine. We can agree to disagree? I’ve read a lot of defense/praise for this episode, and honestly even after processing all of those opinions and all the time my thoughts about this plotline have been stewing in my brain, I still feel the same way.

#steven universe #steven universe future #negativity #cw death

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fanfoolishness · 5 years ago

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Full Disclosure (Steven Universe)

(As Steven runs out of other people’s problems to solve, he’ll finally have to face his own. Set after the events of the Steven Universe movie. Angst, PTSD, high-functioning depression, dealing with old traumas and fearing potential new ones, Connverse, love, and a little bit of hope. 4660 words, also on AO3.

A companion piece, ice cream sundaes, is from Greg’s perspective, and examines some of the aftermath. See Growing Things for the sequel to both stories. )

***

The day is light and bright and breezy, the scent of flowers on the air. Far below Steven hears birdsong, faint and lovely in the distance. Amethyst and Garnet behind him avidly watch the fight.

He’s babbling, desperate for attention, and Pearl tries to be patient with him. He can see in her face so clearly now the annoyance, the irritation. Light flashes, sun on steel.

He knows what’s going to happen, but he keeps chattering to her, stupid questions and childish wants streaming out of his mouth. Why can’t he warn her, why can’t he stop, why can’t he just be quiet --

The sword drives through Pearl’s chest, glittering in the sunlight, and it’s only then that he gasps himself awake.

***

“Steven!” Pearl said brightly as the temple door opened. “You’re up so early.”

Steven managed a shrug, watching the coffee brew. He wished he could swing by the Big Donut for something to have with it, but it was still two hours before the shop opened. “Uh, you know what they say. The early bird gets the worm.”

“Drinking coffee and eating worms?” Pearl asked in confusion. “Garnet said you would be going through some changes at this age, but she didn’t say anything about worms.”

“No, no, I’m not really eating worms,” he reassured her. He poured the coffee into his old Cookie Cat thermos and added several heaping teaspoons of sugar. “I’m just… trying to get an early start for training. I’ll see you later, Pearl.”

“I’m proud of you, Steven, making sure to stay on top of your training. After all, Spinel took us all by surprise. We can’t have that again! Would you like some company?” she asked. She smiled warmly at him, and he saw the blade, glinting as her gem fell to the ground.

“No, I -- I was going to work on some basics alone. But thanks,” he said hurriedly.

Her lilting “I love you, Steven!” followed him through the warp stream to the Sky Arena. He stumped up the steps and sat at the far end of the arena, barely shivering in the predawn chill. He drank his coffee and blinked back sleep, watching the sun spill gold and orange and pink in fiery glory, and he told himself, It was a long time ago.

So why did it still bother him?

***

Amethyst’s voice is a backwards gurgle, her eyes mismatched and fearful. Steven bends over her, trying not to look at her limbs all stretched and wrong, trying to feel the tears he knows are there just beneath the surface. He cries all the time -- he’s such a little kid still -- and yet he can’t seem to do it now when it matters.

Rose Quartz looms above him in grayish stone and browning thorns. He wonders what this place looked like when she was here: beautiful and safe, pink and green, filled with the scent of roses. They miss her so much. Steven gazes up at her, at her smile held in a peaceful rictus, and he knows in the pit of his stomach that he will never be able to make it up to them.

“I’m sorry, Amethyst,” he croaks, and the crack in her gem spreads, split, fractures --

***

He woke up with a start, breathing hard. He sat up straight and scrubbed his hand across his face, trying to slow his breathing back down. It’s fine. She’s fine. I could heal her now. He turned on his lamp and rolled out of bed, turning on his television and game system.

“Steven?” asked Amethyst some time later, fluttering up from the dark staircase as an owl and landing beside him on the bed. “Hey dude, I know we’re supposed to give you more privacy now, but I thought I heard you playing Lonely Blade VII. That’s totally the best one, so I get it, but aren’t you usually asleep now?” She switched back to her normal form, looking suspicious.

“Hey, Amethyst,” said Steven, fighting a yawn. “I’ve been meaning to go back and replay this. I, uh, saw a guide that said there were all sorts of Easter eggs I missed. So I’m going back through and trying to find them all. It’s a completionist run.”

“I don’t see any eggs,” said Amethyst, peering at the screen. Lonely Blade executed a flawless triple backflip scorpion kick, sending his evil twin flying into a stack of barrels for an extra skill point.

“Not that kind of Easter egg,” Steven chuckled. “They mean in-jokes. References to other stuff. But come on. I can switch to multiplayer if you’re up for a challenge.”

“Oh, I will destroy you,” she said, settling in beside him. “But I heard growing young adults were supposed to sleep a lot, and you look pretty tired. I could come back and kick your butt later if you need to get some rest.” She shrugged. “Besides, I thought you loved sleeping. How long have you been playing this?”

“Just a little bit,” Steven said. It wasn’t really a lie: on the level of Gem existence, four hours wasn’t long at all. “Anyway, maybe I don’t love sleep as much as I used to. I’m evolving, Amethyst.” He said it in such a lofty voice that she snorted.

“See if you can evolve past my lightning fists!” She grabbed a controller. They played on into the morning, until the sun flared in the east and filled his room with golden light. They played match after match, Steven getting tired and fumbling on the buttons, but he knew there’d be no more rest for him today. Amethyst laughed at her victories, and Steven watched the screen until it blurred.

It’s fine. She’s fine.

I’m fine.

***

Jasper towers over him, roaring, a destabilizer crackling in her hand. Garnet’s face is determined, her fists raised, her back straight and strong. She always protects him, she always takes care of him, she --

Yellow lines spark across her body, creeping, inching, writhing. And she falls, her face showing only a sudden surprise as she vanishes, Ruby and Sapphire’s gems looking so small in the sand. Steven scrabbles in it, his hands tearing into the grains, trying to back away. He tries to make another shield, but he’s drained, paralyzed, weak. His mind is blank, his only sensation sheer buzzing panic, and Jasper turns to him with a triumphant grin --

***

“It looks like there’s room for one more,” said Garnet kindly. Steven shook his head, blinking rapidly, and realized he’d fallen asleep at one of the tables outside the Big Donut. Garnet rested a hand on his shoulder, Sapphire’s silver band glittering on her ring finger, and he remembered that Jasper’s attack was more than three years ago.

“Always,” he said, unsettled. “Sorry I fell asleep.” He remembered his coffee and donuts on the table next to him, and drained the cup of coffee in one gulp. It had gone cold.

“I knew you would,” said Garnet, smiling and taking a seat beside him. Her visor hid her eyes, but he knew by her tone that she was winking.

She doesn’t know, he told himself. It’s future vision, not psychic vision. “I guess I can’t fool you,” he said, trying to make his face look something like happy.

“Don’t work too hard,” she said gently. “We need you, Steven.”

He swallowed, his mouth dry, and nodded mechanically. “I know.” The smile he finally managed felt stretched and thin, but she seemed to believe it. He busied himself eating his donuts. They tasted like sawdust.

***

Don’t fall asleep --

Dad panicking in his van with the wreckage of Jasper’s ship all around them, hit with the weight that he could have lost his only family, and Steven horrified, wondering why he’s never realized before how serious this all is.

Bismuth’s face with Rose’s sword piercing through her, Steven’s hands shaking on the blade, the guilt boiling through him more painful than the burns on his feet. He staggers as Bismuth sags against him, as she poofs and her gem clatters to the ground. The lava surges beneath his feet, and the sweat and tears he sheds evaporate before they hit the floor.

Wake up --

He throws Eyeball into the void of space, but he can’t watch as she vanishes. He gasps, trying to calm himself after their sudden battle. His heart pounds. His bubble shrinks around him smaller than it has ever been before, his breath growing thin and scanty, and all around him is nothing but the cold certainty that he will never, ever be found.

Stevonnie is falling, falling, knowing that they’ll die unless Steven can get out of his own head, but how can he? Rose’s crimes become his own, bleeding into his hands and his choices. He’s done so many terrible things even when he tries to do his best, and they crowd into his mind, the guilt overwhelming --

Please wake up --

Greg’s taken and stolen for the zoo, scared and alone because Steven had to see, Steven had to fight with the Gems, Steven had to know for himself; Connie and Jamie and Lars and Sadie and Onion, all of them captured and frightened, and all of it Steven’s fault, not Rose’s, it’s his --

Then there’s Lars, hitting the stone column with a horrible dull sound, hitting the ground with a softer one. No, please, not this, Steven thinks, but he can’t escape the way Lars lies there, limp and somehow small. Steven does what no one else can do, what maybe no one should do, his tears on Lars’ face; and in his ears, the slow, slow, slow drum of Lars’ heart.

Please --

***

Steven’s fingers slid up and down the guitar neck, and he leaned into the buzzing of his fingertips, the growl of the guitar in his ears. It was hard to think while he focused on playing along with Greg’s lead. He’d always liked losing himself in music, but now it seemed more important than ever. He played with his dad, his mind finally quiet for a little while, the ocean breeze cool on his face.

Then his hand slipped. A tangle of sour notes. He scowled at the clash between his dad’s melody and his own accompaniment.

Normally, he’d just keep playing through it. That had always been Greg’s advice -- keep the rhythm, and the audience was unlikely to notice an off note. He knew that, but his hands fell to his sides anyway, unable to play through the error.

Greg continued on for two bars before his playing trailed off, too. “Schtu-ball? Need to take a break?”

Steven gave his dad a wan half-grin. “Yeah, maybe. Fingers getting tongue-tied.” Reluctantly he turned down the volume, unplugged his guitar, and set it back carefully into the van.

“Happens to all of us,” Greg said, putting his own guitar away. “Something bothering you, kiddo? You seem a little far away.”

Steven opened his mouth, searching for the words. He didn’t even know where he would start.

Dad, I’ve been having nightmares about stuff that happened years ago. Gem stuff I never told you about -- But he imagined Greg’s face, falling as he realized Steven hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him, and Steven closed his mouth again. He knew he couldn’t handle seeing the hurt in Greg’s eyes. He searched for something else to say.

“Do you ever think about the future, Dad?”

“Sure, Steven,” said Greg, looking curious and a little concerned. “Do you?”

Steven stared at his hands. They were soft, young, smooth, no scars or lines to mar their surface. They showed no sign of ever having held a sword or thrown a punch. Then again, would they ever?

He glanced at Greg’s hands, noting wrinkles, a few freckles, tan lines, an old scar over one thumb. “Garnet can see possibilities. But she doesn’t know which one is going to happen… only the possibility that makes the most sense with the information she has.” His fingers twisted, folding into each other in his lap. “No one knows what’s going to happen to me, do they? You said it yourself. There’s never been anyone like me.”

Greg put a hand over Steven’s. It was calloused and strong. “That’s not a bad thing.” He gave Steven a smile. “I didn’t know what would happen when I met your mom, but look at how things turned out. The Gems are finally free. You know how to use your mom’s powers, but you’re also an incredible human being. I hope you know how proud I am, kiddo.” He reached out and tousled Steven’s hair.

Steven sighed. “What would I do without you, Dad?” He smiled back at his dad, but suddenly Greg wasn’t Greg. He was pink. Dark eyes stared out of pink skin, pale pink hair falling around him like a shroud.

Steven shook his head frantically, trying to clear the vision. Greg looked at him, puzzled, normal as ever with his ruddy tan and his graying hair.

What would I do without you, Dad?

Maybe I wouldn’t let you go.

“Thanks,” he said quickly, giving his dad a hug. “I just remembered -- I said I’d meet up with Connie. See you tomorrow?”

“Oh!” said Greg, clearly surprised. “Of course. But Steven -- if you need to talk, you know your old man’s always here for you.”

Are you supposed to be? Is that allowed? Would you -- would you even want that?

Steven hurried down the sidewalk back to the beach, hands jammed in his pockets, trying to remember the quiet space he’d been in while playing music. He hummed the melody Greg had been playing, but stumbled over it.

He reached for a different song. Take a moment to think of just --

But instead he thought of Lion. How long were lions supposed to live? How old was Lion, really? How old could he become? What if there was no limit?

He thought of Lars, and he heard that slow, deep heartbeat again. He thought of two trees in rolling pink fur beneath a sunless sky. He thought of more trees rising, a tree for Greg, for Connie, for the Maheswarens, for Sadie, enough trees to cover Beach City, and he wasn’t sure which would be worse.

Two trees lonely in a pink void, or a pink forest stretching infinite.

****

Connie’s face is cold, her body stiff as she turns away on Lion’s back. She rides into the early moonlight, the sinking sun behind her, until she vanishes through Lion’s roar.

Come back! I’m sorry! he wants to scream, but instead he sees her face upturned as she treads water, hears her shouting for him to jump down, to not leave her, to let her help him.

Her sword clangs against Pearl’s spear, then flies from her hands to spin across the white floor. Pearl holds her tightly in an embrace she can’t escape --

She bends before him, a knight offering her service, lower and less than --

She holds him as they fall together, as he sobs, and her arms around him feel like they’re the only thing keeping him from going crazy --

The dream shifts. He stands on the sand, watching the waves lap against his bare toes. The ocean is drenched in pink and gold.

“I didn’t want this,” says Connie, and she stands beside him. But the pink in her hair and skin doesn’t come from the setting sun. “You should have let me --” She reaches out, touching his cheek, then lets her pink hand fall. The sinking sun reflects in her dark eyes, twin fires falling into a black sea, and the tears streak her face.

“I couldn’t let you go,” Steven says, fighting a growing panic, a sickening knowledge. “I had to save you.”

“But what am I?” she asks, laying his hand on her chest. Beneath his palm he feels her heartbeat.

One. A long, agonizing silence. Two. “Steven, what did you do to me?”

***

The mornings began to look alike, bleeding and blurring into one another, the routine becoming second nature. Wake up too early. Drink too much coffee. Shower and shave. Stomachache (from too much coffee). Get dressed. Stay awake.

Stay awake.

The mornings were the same, but the days were different. There was always something more to do, ways to help, problems to fix. Things he could distract himself with, at least during the day. He lived for that.

He walked through Little Homeworld, stopping to speak to the uncorrupted Gems, visiting Nephrite and her crew the most. He spoke with the Diamonds regularly, giving updates, checking in to make sure they weren’t getting into trouble. Spinel was always eager to see him when he called. He trained with Pearl and Garnet and Amethyst, Peridot and Lapis and Bismuth. They were always so happy to see him, so proud of all he’d done.

He walked the streets of Beach City, visiting his dad, seeing Lars and Sadie and the rest of his friends. He chatted with Bill Dewey and Mayor Nanefua. He ate the bits.

He worked on Beach City soil, trying to regrow the life Spinel’s injector had snuffed. It was coming along nicely. He thought there’d be another few weeks at most for life to come back and for the patchiness of the returning plants to fill in. There’d always be more work to do, but this was work that had an endpoint. He could deal with that.

Of course, he spent time with Connie. Sometimes they trained, separately and as Stevonnie. He made sure during those times to lock up the dreams and push them back; he worked hard to think of flexibility, love and trust, instead of... other things. It worked, and Stevonnie trained hard, growing stronger all the time.

Sometimes Steven and Connie relaxed. They’d put on silly shows or laugh at how bad the Dogcopter movies were in retrospect (though they still had a soft spot for them). They played board games with the Gems and listened to music with Greg. Sometimes, they just spent time being, and when Connie would announce she was hitting her curfew, he was always surprised at how fast the time went.

He and Connie talked late into the days as spring began to shift and summer hinted at its return. They hugged more than they used to, held hands when they didn’t need to, and sometimes Connie rested her head on his shoulder in a way that made him dizzy. He didn’t know what to call it, yet, but he knew he loved her more than ever, and he knew she felt the same.

“Are you all right, Steven?” Connie asked one night beneath the stars; she’d been working on her homework, stretched out on the floor, and he’d been idly working on a song. She finished packing up her backpack, but she didn’t put it on.

“Of course,” he said reflexively, but his fingers paused on his guitar. “Uh, why are you asking?”

She left her backpack behind and scooted over to where he was sitting. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. She rested one hand on his guitar, nudging against his until their fingers laced together. “Something just feels off.”

“With me?” he asked, his heart pounding. He hoped she couldn’t hear it.

“Maybe.” She gazed at him, her free hand pushing her hair behind her ear, smoothing it again and again. She bit her lip. “You just seem so tired, Steven. And I can’t figure out why.”

He chuckled nervously. “I’ve just been doing a lot. Training, and repairing the damage from the injector, and talking to the Diamonds, and helping at Little Homeworld -- I’ve been busy! I guess it’s catching up to me. That’s all.”

Connie nodded to herself, looking sad. She leaned against him, warm, solid, familiar. Her voice was gentle. “Look, I know something’s up. I was hoping you wanted to tell me about it, but maybe you’re not ready. It’s okay if you need to think stuff over… but it’s also okay to ask for help.” She wiped at her eyes. “When you are ready, please talk to me. Jam buds, remember?”

Steven squeezed her hand. He took a deep breath, one, then another. “Jam buds. Forever.”

The silence between them pulsed, a beat all its own.

He didn’t trust himself to speak past the lump in his throat. Instead he put aside his guitar, wrapped his arms around her, and held her as tight as he could.

***

He’s back on Homeworld. All around him is pink and pink and pink, his hands in Pink Diamond’s gloves, the walls of her tower miles high above him. He’s the lost, the lonely, the little again, helpless and hapless.

Stevonnie is joyful, sudden, sublime, and yet they’re thrown to the ground like so much trash, trapped in a tower with no food or water, and when they separate, there’s fear, fear, fear --

A flash of white at the edge of his vision, Yellow and Blue screaming silently as White takes them over, Pearl and Garnet and Amethyst paling, stripped of their color, their beauty, their flaws, and all of them smiling that knowing smile --

He’s weightless in White’s hand, pulled up so fast through the air he almost vomits. He can’t move. Can’t speak. His bubble shivers and shatters before it can even form.

Her nails shine in her own light, glinting blackest black and blinding white. They click against his gem, sharp on its edges, and the sensation is chalkboard scratches felt in his bones, his gut, his soul.

She pulls — she twists — this isn’t happening --

She plucks his gem from the core of him, and soundlessly he screams. And screams.

It hurts and it doesn’t. It’s a wound and a lack and a missing that empties him of everything he’s ever been. So small an action for her -- and yet she’s pithed him of everything Steven. There is nothing left.

“Please,” he whispers, slumped on the ground. His heart stutters in his chest, forgetting itself. He reels, sick with the loss, and he begs her, begs anyone who will listen. “I -- I need it --” He’s so small without this -- so, so weak.

This is what dying feels like --

***

He didn’t understand that he was awake at first; he was gasping, panting under the covers of his bed. His hand clawed at his gem. Please, please, please be there. He gripped it hard, and it was warm and sure, secure, part of him the way it always had been. Except for —

Steven was still for a moment, his fingers resting against his gem. Then he started sobbing.

He sobbed so hard his chest hurt, raw cries that his hands barely muffled. He didn’t know how long he cried. All he knew was that when he finally quieted, his eyes were swollen and his throat was sore. He shook all over.

Why can’t I stop this? he thought miserably, his head pounding. Dreams used to help me!

Once, his dreams had been useful. They’d shown him Pink’s memories, Malachite’s battles, the Cluster’s mind. They’d helped him aid Kiki and Lars. They’d given him what he needed to call for help on Homeworld. They’d shown him problems he hadn’t named, shown him what he needed to solve them. And when they’d done so, then they’d change once more to silly Steven dreams, simple things that made him smile instead of weep. He missed those dreams. Missed sleep. Missed rest.

He bowed over himself, his breathing still ragged, head spinning. Why did he keep dreaming these unbearable things --

He froze, an awful chill running through him.

I’m the problem.

There was a warm whuff of air against his ear. Blearily Steven looked up, and in the shadows and the moonlight he made out Lion’s face.

Lion nudged Steven’s shoulder. Steven leaned his head against Lion’s, reaching out and stroking his mane. The fur was soft on his fingertips.

“Lion,” he whispered. The words didn’t want to come. “Lion, I’m scared.” The words faded into the quiet room, falling away. Lion’s purr was a low rumble, a familiar comfort.

Steven reached for his phone with a shaky hand. He leaned hard against Lion as it rang.

Two, three, four rings. Then a click, and Connie’s voice, tired but sharpened by fear. “Steven? Steven, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

A beat. “No,” he confessed, his voice cracking. “I’m not okay, Connie.”

“What happened? Are you hurt? What’s going on?”

“Nothing… happened… it’s just, it’s me, Connie, something’s wrong with me.” The words hurt, but he couldn’t stop them now. They came out in a frantic rush. “It’s like I’m sick or something. I can’t sleep. I just keep seeing all of it again, everything horrible that’s ever happened to me, everything horrible I’ve ever done. It’s so real and I can’t get away from it. And I worry about you and Dad and everyone… but I don’t want any of you to ever worry about me, because I’m supposed to protect you, that’s what I’m for. I can’t let anyone down. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.”

He gripped Lion’s mane hard enough that his hand ached from the effort. “I know you said once it was okay to think about the bad things, but I can’t, Connie, it’s too much.” He was crying again. “I’m sorry.”

Silence. He knew it. He’d messed up again. He should never have scared her like this --

“Steven Quartz Universe,” she said, and though her voice trembled, there was steel beneath it. “Send Lion to me right now. I’ll be there as soon as I can. And we’re gonna get through this, okay? Because I love you, and your dad loves you, and the Gems love you. We’ll take care of you, Steven, all of us. Because that’s what we’re for.”

“Okay,” he whispered. Lion glanced at him, and Steven nodded. With a roar Lion vanished into the dark.

Dully Steven ended the call, set aside his phone, and turned on his lamp. He squinted at the sudden brightness and brushed the water out of his eyes. It was all he had time to do before there came another roar.

Lion knelt so Connie could dismount. She was still in her pajamas, her hair in a messy ponytail, her face flushed. Tears shone on her face in the lamplight. “Oh, Steven.”

“Connie…”

And then she was beside him on the edge of the bed, holding him tight, her arms strong but soft around him as they both cried. That was how the Gems found them the next morning; it was how Greg saw them after Pearl called and told him to come; it was how they remained through tears, and time, and talking. Steven wasn’t sure how long they spoke, but the sun was high when he finally stopped.

They sat in silence, deep in thought. Steven’s head rested on Connie’s shoulder, her arms still around him. Greg sat beside him, rubbing Steven’s back with one hand the way he used to when Steven was little. Lion was curled on the bed, purring but awake. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl sat on the rug in front of them, all of them fighting back tears.

Steven let out a long breath, managing a faint smile. “I love you guys, you know,” he said hoarsely.

“We know,” said Garnet, all three eyes sad but gentle.

“Of course we do, Steven,” Pearl said. She rubbed at her face, wiping away tears.

Amethyst sniffed. “We love you, dude.”

“This’ll take time, kiddo,” said Greg. His face was blotchy, his eyes red and swollen. “But we’re all here to help. I’m just glad you told us.”

Connie kissed his forehead. “It’s gonna be okay, Steven. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But it will be.”

Steven didn’t reply. He had fallen asleep, his head safe on Connie’s shoulder; and his sleep was sweet, and dark, and dreamless.

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gronjon44 · 5 years ago

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SO I WATCHED THE STEVEN UNIVERSW FINALE

And since it's over, I'd like to give my final thoughts on most of the series, even Jasper now that I've seen how they ended her "arc".

I'm gonna list this in order of main characters, so this is concise.

Jasper-

I'm gonna get this out of the way now. Jasper was treated like actual shit and even I can see it. She got some redemption at the end I liked how they turned her into this trainer to help Steven deal with his anger. BUT I was hoping it would evolve and help Steven get through to her and make her open up. But instead she was shattered, turned into a Diamonds herald again, and then dismisses right at the end. I will respect Rebrccas decisions, but Jasper deserved much more then to be an emotional pin cushion for her poke into and never fix.

Garnet-

Garnet went though significant changes. She was very guarded in the begining, showing trust only between the gems really. But when she was split by Jasper she was forced to open up when Steven realized who she was. This opened the door to have her be more vulnerable, and strengthen her bond with Steven. And this went on throughout the series and I like how she was the first to initiate the hug that fixed Steven-Zilla (that's what I call him)

Amythest/Pearl-

I'm gonna lump these two together cause they kinda parallel each other, and you could fit Garnet with them you wanted to. Both Pearl and Amethyst were still caught up in the idea of Rose, and Amethyst never really knew Rose before so she always associated Rose as she was when she was born, Crystal Gem and a friend. She was also extremely immature, and I think that fed into Steven's immaturity, so she had to progressively get more adult and accept things were changing.

And Pearl was honestly a parallel of that, while also being an opposite. She did not relax, she was strict, she was secretive, and she had known Rose longest, as well as when she was still Pink. So she was caught up the most in the Gem Wars History. She had to open up the most and to learn to "live and let die" essentially. Or at least that's how I see it.

Peridot-

Peridot went through some of the most drastic changes. She was basically Spock from Star Trek, all logic and science, but more evil sociopath. But when Jasper was defeated, Peridot was left to her own devices and became a sort of Skeletor, plotting what she could do to defeat Steven and please Yellow. And it took her losing the status she wss given to figure out herself and be her own person (in her case litterally when her arms and legs were destroyed) She was able to separate herself from homeworld, and it took a long while for her to really become her own person.

Bismuth-

Bismuth wss someone I originally didnt care for at first glance. I understood her importance and wss ok with it. But when she first showed up I was fine with it. But when she was revealed to basically be a radical gem and Rose had to bubble her, I was hooked. And while her acceptance of Steven not only being Rose but also being Pink just seemed to quickly solved for me, I'll let it be.

Lapis-

Lapis is an anti hero who should not have just been accepted as fast as she was. I used to love Lapis and Lapidot, still kinda do.l, but looking at it now and what they did to Jasper as part of that, I cant ignore it. Yeah she grew as a person but it wasnt done properly. She almost killed Steven 3 times, broke Jasper emotionally with being a fusion for so long, and she never actually owned up to her faults I think. And her sudden reintroduction in the final battle of Homeworld and how she just, magically decided to be a better person felt forced. Just my own thoughts.

Diamonds-

Yellow remind me of the Dictator from the actual film Dictator , wanting to be better but treating it as face value. She is doing good but at litteral face value with changing a gems physical form. Blue to me is the same way, only trying to fix their in the moment emotional state. Honestly I think White was doing the most she could to help fix everything, since she was most at fault. She was letting herself become vulnerable to other gems to help them go through their problems and see themselves as they are, hopefully becoming better people. White in such a short time was doing more to help other gems then Yellow or blue.

Spinel-

Spinel got done dirty frankly. I love her inclusion in the end and I love her character, flaws and all, but they felt abandoned in the end. I'm assuming that Steven Universe Future takes place some months after the events of the film. MONTHS. The type of trauma and abandonment issues Spinel dealt with dont go away in sheer months, especially when it comes to 600 years worth of abandonment. And when she was with the diamonds she just seemed fine, devoid of any issues. She was hesitant to go with the Diamonds hell she openly denied Steven's immediate friendship offer and said "I need time to figure this out, and I cant do it here." I can't just accept that Spinel got through that as fast as she did, not without some underlying issues left over from her past. You cant change my mind on that sorry.

Greg-

Omg Greg my boi, I wanna give him a hug and hot chocolate. The idea he had a ruff childhood and felt he needed to leave how he did, and how his parents never actually responded to his letters, its heartbreaking and it shows why he raised Steven how he did. He had too many lmits and he wanted Steven to have none of those limits. And him being half Gem complicated it, making Greg unsure about hospitals, about traditional schools, it's why he just let the Gems take over as his "mother(s)" because he knew they could help. Of course that caused issues that cant be ignored. But it just shows you why he is the way he is. And it hurts it really does.

Everyone else-

No real comment on anyone else, Lars and Ssdie are both league's ahead of who they started as. The Off Colors are still a delight I wouldve loved more inclusion of them though, Onion and his family eh never cared much for them accept the mom cause she was awesome, no real thoughts.

Connie-

Connie is, a whole new person from who she once was. I think she, without Steven, wouldve become what Greg could've been. But Steven helped her, out of everyone, become something even better then who she was. And it even helped her parents become more open to both Steven as a person, and Connie as a growing person. I have no beef with her character development, she was done amazingly well.

And finally,

Steven -

Steven is... how should I put this, a mixed bag for me. While he most certainly grew as a person, mastered his powers and most of his responsibilities, I cannot say I like how he was treated this final season. Yes Steven Universe: Future was focused him moving on from the past, inevitable change, and learning things he never knew about before. Things felt too fast for him in that season, even if time was passing longer for him, it felt too short. His downfall from grace felt to sudden, his progression to becoming a sort of "Surogate Pink" was too jarring (still fun to watch I love the idea of it)

His training with Jasper even, yeah they played it out like he changed so fast, but THREE DAYS? In one episode? No I wouldve preferred he spend a month or so with Jasper, they show they're relationship, Jasper gets actual time to develop and become a character that we wanted her to become. Hell you could've still shattered her, and it wouldve made her becoming a diamonds herald again more heart breaking, and they could've spent time on helping her get over that mindset.

All in all, Steven's character development was fun, but left much to be desired.

All in all, while the series as a whole was enjoyable, it was by no means perfect. It had many ups, plenty of downs, and I think it's a good example what to do and what not to do when writing an growing narrative. Rebecca Sugar rushed Steven Universe: Future too fast, she left many ends open ended and unanswered, and I give the final season a 6 out of 10.

This is all personal preference so hey let me know if you disagree.

#steven universe #corrupted steven theory #pink steven #suf steven #steven universe pink steven #steven universe little graduation #steven universe lion #steven universe final season #steven universe future #su garnet #su greg #su amythest #su peridot #su lapis #su pearl #su bismuth #su spinel #stevenel #su stevenel

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schism-au-blog · 4 years ago

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Chapter 12

“So, you think we should send Gold Pearl as a spy?” Cherry asked. “Hmm, I wouldn’t say it’s a bad idea, perse, but I don’t understand why we can’t send someone more experienced.”

“I am willing to go,” Desert Glass said.

“Are you willing to shatter gems, if need be?” Pearl asked. “They’ll probably insist on it, especially because you can fight. She’s a lot bolder than you and will most likely fit in better, but she’s also inexperienced in combat and will probably have to spend some time training before they’d make her shatter.”

Desert Glass nodded. “I can understand now.”

“Garnet?” Rose asked.

“I can see this going very poorly,” said Garnet. “But it could also go very well. I’m sorry I’m not much help at the moment. Everything is so uncertain. But I do think it’s a good idea.”

“To send someone or to send Gold, specifically?” Cherry asked.

“Someone,” Garnet asked. “But Gold does seem to be a good option. Cherry, do you know of any other gems who’d be a good fit?”

“Hmm,” said Cherry. “I’d normally recommend Crazy Lace or Biggs for a mission like this, but they were both very close with Bismuth, so I’m already keeping an eye on them. Scapolite could be a good choice?”

Garnet shook her head. “You’re right. Crazy Lace and Biggs were too close to Bismuth for reliability’s sake. I don’t see Scapolite doing as well in the role as Gold Pearl. She can be backup if Gold Pearl refuses, which I wouldn’t blame her for.”

Cherry nodded. “That sounds alright.”

“I hope Silver Pearl won’t feel too left out,” Pearl said. “I just feel like she’s too timid to do well among the metallic gems.”

“She should be fine,” said Rose. “She’ll be an incredible fighter and an amazing crystal gem.”

Garnet nodded. “I don’t see her being too upset at the decision. She might be disappointed, but I think we can make her come around.”

Pearl smiled. “I’m excited to get a chance to train her one-on-one. That is, if it’s alright with you?” she asked Cherry.

Cherry nodded. “She reminds me of how you describe yourself when you first joined the crystal gems. I think you’d know better than anyone else how to get her out of her shell.”

Pearl nodded. “Thank you. Rose?”

Rose nodded. “I think I can spare you for that long. As long as you’re not training all day everyday, of course.”

“No,” said Pearl. “I wouldn’t try. It’s important for her to get well-rounded training.”

“Oh!” said Rose. “Desert, could you start to think about somewhere to build another base? I think we should figure out somewhere the metallic gems don’t know about.”

Desert Glass nodded. “In order for me to assist with building it, it’ll have to be in the desert.”

“That’s alright,” said Rose. “It should blend in.”

Desert nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Is there anything else we need to do?” asked Cherry.

Rose shook her head. “We’re offering the position of spy to Gold Pearl, Desert Glass is working on making a base the metallic gems shouldn’t know about, and we’re working on a more defensive strategy while we see what the metallic gems do,” she said. “Anyone have any objections or anything else they’d like to add?”

“No,” said Cherry “That sounds perfect.”

“Wait,” said Pearl, “I need to inform Silver that I’ll be training her.”

“Right,” Rose nodded. “Anything else?”

Everyone present shook their heads.

“Be aware everyone. Let us know if someone doesn’t show up when they’re assigned someplace, remember they know where we are and they may try to find Bismuth,” Pearl said.

Garnet smiled. “Let’s work for a better future together.”

Rose smiled. “I’m always ready for that. Let’s make the future a better place for all gems.”

“Maybe not for the diamonds,” Cherry joked. “It’ll be a real blow for them to be taken down from their high horses.”

Rose laughed. She knew she’d be happier if they won the war, but she agreed that the other diamonds might not be so thrilled. She hoped that her laugh didn’t come off too uncertain or nervous. Oh goodness, she should say something, shouldn’t she. “It’ll be a real shock for them when we win.”

“Hear, hear,” said Garnet. “Frankly, even some of the elite gems may be better off than they were before.” She looked at the palm of her left hand and smiled. “I know I am.”

“I hope we can help many more gems like you find happiness,” said Desert. “I think that most of them don’t realize how lucky we have it.”

“Homeworld propaganda,” Rose sighed. “I’ve been fighting against it for years, but they always paint us as desolate, defective gems with nowhere else to go.”

“I wouldn’t want anywhere else to go,” said Cherry. “The opportunity to choose my own purpose is something I’d never give up.”

“Maybe we should start more aggressive recruitment instead of battles?” Rose suggested. “If we’re going to lose gems to the metallic gems, we need some new recruits as well.”

“I don’t think we should focus on that for the moment,” said Garnet. “Let’s see about the things we’ve already discussed, then see if that still looks like a good idea.”

“Good idea, Garnet. I don’t want to get ahead of myself,” said Rose.

Garnet nodded. “I think we should get to work. Nearly all of us have something to do. Rose, You’ll tell Gold about her new assignment?”

Rose nodded. “Of course. I do hope she accepts.”

“If she doesn’t, tell me,” said Cherry. “I’ll ask Scapolite.”

“Thank you, Cherry,” Rose said.

“No problem at all,” said Cherry.

Rose nodded. “Well, let’s all get started.”

The gems dispersed to do their various tasks. Rose was grateful that Gold Pearl and Silver Pearl were separate at the moment, even though it’d mean she and Pearl would have to separate. It would be so much easier to tell Gold without worrying about Silver feeling she’s fallen behind.

Rose said goodbye to Pearl and went to find Gold Pearl. She hoped that it wouldn’t be too hard, thankfully she was fully recharged and didn’t need to worry about the amount of time she could spend as Rose.

She found Gold Pearl talking with Yarhil. “Do you mind if I have a moment with Gold?” Rose asked.

“No,” answered Yarhil. “Go right ahead.” She smiled. “Bye, Gold!”

Gold waved. “Goodbye!” She turned to Rose. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Would you be willing to spy on the metallic gems?” Rose asked. “I know you haven’t been here for that long, but your spirit is bold, and I don’t think they’d suspect you.”

“Really?” said Gold, “but when I was training, I fell flat on my face. I can’t fight.”

“You can’t fight yet,” Rose replied instinctively. “But you shouldn’t have to. In fact, being unexperienced in combat will make the metallic gems less likely to expect you to shatter.”

“What if they want me to?” asked Gold. “What then?”

Rose looked at Gold, and the sadness in her eyes stood out more than ever. “They’d probably end up shattering those gems anyway. If you must shatter to keep your part in the group, the information you’ll supply will be important enough to make it worth it.”

“To make it worth shattering?” Gold questioned.

“If Homeworld wins, we’ll all be shattered,” said Rose. “And you can conveniently fail, so you’ll never have to shatter anyone.”

“That will-” Gold started.

“Make it more likely you’re caught, yes,” finished Rose. “But it’s what I would do in your situation. I couldn’t bring myself to shatter anyone, for any reason.”

Gold nodded. “You’re right. I can risk the extra chance of getting discovered if it means keeping everyone else safe.”

“Good!” said Rose. “So are you willing to do it?”

“If you really think I’m best,” said Rose.

“You are so unique. I think that you can learn a lot under the metallic gems, even if you have to sort through what’s right. When I watched you fight, I saw a spirit in you that was determined to do the right thing. You are the perfect choice,” said Rose. “Even your reluctance proves that.”

Gold smiled. “If you’re sure, I trust you.”

Rose shined.”Excellent! We’ve never really had espionage before, so we don’t have anyone to train you, so you can get started right away! The metallic gems are located at- oh wait, you’ve never been to Bismuth’s forge. I’ll warp you there and show you where to leave intelligence.”

Gold and Rose walked to the warp. Rose warped them to the warp outside Bismuth’s forge. She lead Gold Pearl to a rock a little ways away from the warp. “Place anything you learn here. Hopefully, the metallic gems won’t expand this far.”

Gold Pearl nodded. “Ok, now where is the base?”

Rose shapeshifted into her smaller quartz form. “Let me show you.”

They walked back to the warp, then followed the path as far as Rose felt safe. “Can you go on alone?” she asked.

Gold nodded.

“Goodbye, then,” Rose said. “Best of luck.” She shapeshifted back into her normal Rose Quartz form and walked back to the warp.

Gold took a shaky breath and walked forward. She could do this. Rose believed in her. She believed in herself. She just had to act like a rebel. She already was a rebel. This would be easy. She squared her shoulders and smiled, excited to be given this much responsibility.

She walked down the path until she saw some gems. She assumed they must be metallic gems. She ran forward, there was no turning back now. She waved.

“Hey there,” said Snowflake as she approached. “You ready to be a metallic gem?”

Gold nodded. “Yes! I think that you are all truly doing the right thing and I want to join. I’ve only been a crystal gem for a couple of days, though, so I don’t really know how to fight.”

“That’s ok,” said Snowflake, beaming. “We can show you the ropes! Right now there’s only six of us, including you, but we’re going to grow soon! Can you build?”

Gold Pearl shook her head. “I can try, but I really don’t know that much more than what homeworld taught me.”

“And as you’re a Pearl...” Snowflake said consideringly.

“I’m more than willing to do whatever I can though,” said Gold quickly. “I want to show Homeworld I’m more than they ever thought I could be.”

Snowflake clapped her back. “Welcome aboard! Hey Tiger, Howlite, come meet the new recruit!”

Howlite and Tiger’s Eye, who were working on the base, stopped their work and came over to say hi. “Oh hey! New recruit?” Howlite asked.

Pearl nodded. “I thought you said there were two more?”

“Peridot and Emerald are off scavenging for tech,” Snowflake explained. “You’ll meet them soon enough.”

“Well, I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Gold Pearl, and I’m ready to show Homeworld that they can’t push us around anymore! That we can fight back!”

“That’s the spirit!” Snowflake said. “You’ll fit right in.”

“Wait, you’ve never met Bismuth, have you?” asked Tiger.

“No,” said Gold. “I know she’s the reason you broke off, but I frankly don’t know much more about her.”

“Oh man,” said Tiger. “She is incredible. I hope you’ll be able to meet her someday, but in the meantime I can tell you what she was like when I knew her.”

Gold smiled. “Yes! I’d love to learn more about her! She seems really interesting!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, if we start telling stories about Bismuth, we’ll be here all day,” said Howlite. “Let’s get back to building. Pearl, do what you can, and we’ll see if we can talk as we work.”

“Sounds good,” said Gold. She picked up a tool, hoping she knew what it did. “Let’s get to work.”

The metallic gems and Gold discussed their bubbled leader while they worked on constructing a truly impressive base. They laughed and joked, and Gold felt oddly at home, despite what she was here to do.

Taglist: @suartz

#rose quartz #Garnet #steven universe #Steven Universe spoilers #steven universe fanfic #fanfic #I think I accidentally made Rose a little too down with shattering #but it's nano so I can't fix it now #man the more ocs I have in the fewer tags I have #Pearl #SU #su spoilers #Su Au #su fanfic #nanowrimo #steven universe au #steven universe oc #my writing #chapter 12

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locoslowpoke · 5 years ago

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The Defense and Prosecution of Pink Diamond /Rose Quartz: An Essay Rant Part 3

Part 1. Part 2.

And finally, the last bad deed that ties into many other ones but I will just summarize in one giant paragraph because I have yet to talk about the good deeds. That’s right y’all, I’m talking about her treatment of the Pearl we know and love today and the secrets she kept from her and the lies she told her. We have learned that ever since the start of Pink’s colony, Pearl has always been by her side. All Pearl wanted to do was to make Pink happy and keep her Diamond in good spirits. Which is why Pearl was the one who suggested that they go down to Earth and why she was the one who made the Gemsona of Rose Quartz in the first place. All she wanted was to make her Diamond happy. Of course, in the process of making Pink happy, Pearl definitely didn’t expect to catch feelings for her, but she did and Pink felt the same way for her too. All’s well that ends well, right. WRONG. As we already know from the song, “It’s Over, Isn’t It”, Rose took a more open approach when it came to their relationship. Pearl, for the most part, was fine with it because she knew that it wouldn’t last and that in the end, Rose would come back to her because she was the one who knew Rose best. She knew all her secrets, likes, dislikes, practically everything. Because to Pearl, Rose was her everything. She was her Diamond, her Rose, her best friend and confidant, and most importantly, her the only person who truly loved her. Rose knew that Pearl would do anything and everything for her.

Just look at the song again. Pearl went through a lot of hardships and obstacles just for the sole purpose of her love and attention. OF COURSE, Rose is not supposed to be held accountable for Pearl’s romantic feelings toward her, but at the very least, I feel like she could’ve tried to sit down and talk with Pearl about her feelings and about how she doesn’t feel the same for her anymore. Rose didn’t even properly prepare Pearl or the other Crystal Gems for her demise. Look at how they almost took out Steven’s gem. An episode I feel shows a ton on evidence supporting this part of my argument is A Single Pale Rose. When Steven starts encountering past versions of Pearl in her mind, one of the ones we meet are Crying Pearl, who is currently devastated that the person she has dedicated her entire life to is going to disappear and there is nothing she can do about it. She states, “What am I going to do when she disappears,” and “I’m going to lose her.”

What trips me up the most though is what that Pearl says before transporting Steven deeper into her mind though. When he ask her where the stupid phone is, she says, “It’s probably where I lost everything else.” Pay attention to that specific line. During the war, Pearl had made friends, just like Bismuth. People she had considered dear to her just like Rose. But when the Diamonds did their counter light attack, she lost everyone and everything that she considered dear to her, other than Garnet and Pearl. Just look at war torn Pearl. She’s devastated that basically everyone she knew is probably dead. She then utters this very important line. “Why did I do it?”. What could that line be referring to? That is none other than the act of helping Pink fake her shattering. Pearl basically realized at that moment that it was foolish to think that they could pull of such a big rebellion without humongous losses. Because of her tricking the other diamonds that Pink had been killed, it lead to the death of all her friends.

Pearl pleaded with Pink to find another way,that the retaliation of the Diamonds was going to be powerful. But Pink just waved off Pearl’s concern and said she had tried everything, which giving Pink credit where it’s due, it appears she did. But what makes me mad about this scene is how Pink says that she just wants to do it and to never look back. How convenient of Pink to do just that huh? Then she forces Pearl to keep her secret which essentially eats away at Pearl as the years go on. Pearl even snaps and loses it when she finds out that Rose kept secrets from her, like Lion and Bismuth, because she was supposed the one she could always trust. Just goes to show you, Rose did care, but Rose never truly cared enough, did she now?

Now, let me give the poor girl a break and stitch her back up now shall we? It’s not a lot, but it’ll do. One of the good things she did was the saving of Earth. Even though her intentions weren’t completely pure, her heart was on the right path. She saw that the human were capable of intelligent thinking and were creatures with their own customs, thoughts, and beliefs. She knew then that what she was doing to that planet was evil and decided to do the right thing and save the planet from any further damage. Another one of the good things we have to give her credit for is that she genuinely wanted the best for her fellow Crystal Gems and even stated that she wanted them to be able to live a good life on the Earth, free of the Diamonds and of their society’s expectations about them. As to why she couldn’t tell them of her true identity, that scenario could’ve gone 2 ways. She would tell them she is Pink Diamond, but that she is fighting for their freedom and to keep her identity a secret. One way it could’ve gone is that they accept and are happy with the fact that an actual Diamond is fighting for them, further invigorating their will to fight and determination. Or it could’ve sowed the seeds of doubt and mistrust. The soldiers would question why a Diamond is supposedly fighting for their rights, if this is just a test to see who is loyal to the Diamond Authority and to weed out bad seeds, and finally, why should they put their lives on the line for a vague promise that a Diamond has made to them. It would either be win-win or lose-lose, more likely the latter.

Another one of the good things she did was the collecting of her corrupted Crystal Gems. She technically didn’t even have to do go out of her way and bubble them, unless you’re counting the humans’ safety, but she did it primarily because she felt guilty. She felt responsible for their corrupted forms and the fact that she bubbled them makes me believe that she was planning on finding some way to heal her friends.

Another one of the good things we also have to give her credit for is Garnet. The Garnet we know and love today would not be who she is if it wasn’t for the guidance and wisdom of Rose. Rose was the one that taught her that she was an experience and that she was not wrong for existing. That she was made of love.

Finally, the last, best, most selfless thing Rose ever did in her life was giving birth to Steven. She was willing to cease existing just for the chance of being able to bring another life into the world. She not only did just that, but so much more. She gave birth to the most empathetic, understanding, and kindest child ever. Steven turned out to be everything Rose hoped she could be. She didn’t really think that the consequences of her actions would come back and haunt her son guys. All she wanted to do was bring forth a new life in this world that she hoped would turn out to be better than she could ever aspire to be. I think we all know how that turned out. She finally succeeded and did one good deed that resulted, for the most part, in only positives and no negatives anywhere to be found.

The main theme of this show is about the ability to change. Pink started out as a bratty, immature,and selfish. Then she grew into Rose, wise, caring, and full of love. She takes a lot of missteps along her journey, but she tries her best to continually evolve into a better version of herself.

Welp, that’s my essay on one of the more complex cartoon characters of the decade. She’s not completely great, but she’s not exactly evil either. She’s just a pure solid grey character in my opinion. And that’s alright by me. Let me know what you guys think. Was there anything I missed that you felt should’ve been in here? I would love to receive asks or feedback and I’m really open to discussion. Thanks so much for reading.

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kat-unhinged · 5 years ago

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Hi Tumblr world. I haven't been here in quite some time but I just needed to post this somewhere.

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STEVEN UNIVERSE: A THEORY

I've seen so much debate over this show and the 'Rose is actually Pink' story line and I just, well, these are my thoughts of where things started and how it got to that point. Warning: this is hella long.

So, imagine this.

White Diamond is the very first gem-being. She was made on Homeworld and just kinda happened. For hundreds of years she was there, alone. Over that time, she discovered how to create other gems. She made Sapphires, Rubys, Peridots, etc. All these gems were made for a purpose. They had a reason and a duty. White, being the creator and most powerful, becomes their queen. She expects all her gems to be perfect, like her, as diamonds are to be perfect. To fulfill their designed purposes. And they are, mostly. Occasionally, one doesn't come out just right but White let's it be for now. She assumes the imperfect gems will eventually fall off into the unknown while the others continue their duties making the planet a comfortable home for White.

The millenia pass and White grows unhappy, again. She's no longer alone but all these gems, they're not quite like her. She notices how the Rubys have each other, the Sapphires have each other, etc. White wants that. So, she decides to try to make more diamonds. More White Diamonds. But, diamonds are tricky. They require exact circumstances. If the conditions are off just a bit you get blemishes, scars, different colors. White tried for ages to make another perfect White Diamond. There were so many failures. But, diamond can cut diamond. So she shattered them and kept starting again. Eventually, she got Yellow and Blue. They weren't white like her, but they were not blemished. No scars. No marks. Perfect in all aspects except for their color. And White decides that that's ok by her. She sort of enjoys the colors. So Yellow and Blue become her sisters. Together, the three rule over Homeworld and all the other, lower, less powerful gems.

As more years pass, Homeworld loses its resources. They can't keep making more gems without the ingredients. And so the dawn of space travel among the gems begins. They begin to colonize other planets. They create so many other gem types they never knew were possible. Quartzes, Aquamarines, Topazes, and more. All designed for specific purposes.

Yellow really enjoys this work. Blue was never much into it. She preferred to stay on Homeworld with her subjects. Using them for entertainment and advancing their scientific abilities. White left the colonizing to Yellow after a while because she grew bored of it, as she does many things.

Yellow continues to colonize planet after planet. By this point, White is starting to grow distant. Yellow can tell so she keeps colonizing, trying to be perfect for White. Show her what a diamond is made of. It's during this time that Yellow discovers a planet covered entirely by water. She creates these awesome, water based gems (idk what, I'm not a gem-ologist). It is here that she creates her first Pearl. She designs Pearl to be a companion. A loyalist. A servant. Someone who will give her the praise and attention she so desperately craves from White.

Yellow comes back to Homeworld to show off her new Pearl. White doesn't take much interest but Blue and other high ranking gems do. They want a Pearl of their own. Yellow makes them their Pearls but is upset by White's lack of interest. And so, she continues to do what she does best, colonize and create.

Back on Homeworld, White is creating, too. With Yellow off colonizing planets and Blue taking care of the gems, White is lonely once more. She decides to create another diamond. This time, all her past work has allowed her to create exactly what she wanted. A small, but still perfectly formed, Pink Diamond. A diamond that would be less powerful. More childlike. Dependent. One who needed White and wouldn't abandon her. And thus, Pink Diamond is created.

Yellow and Blue are also immediately drawn to her. She was the cutest. Playful. Their baby sister. White's child. Although Yellow had occasional bouts of jealousy because of the relationship between Pink and White, it was never too serious. They were a family. They played and laughed and loved. Eventually, business had to start going back to normal. Yellow back to colonizing. Blue back to running the queendom. And White doting on her perfect Pink Diamond. She never needed a Pearl. It was her diamond she wanted. Her perfect, little, pink replica of herself.

White gave Pink anything she wanted. All the rooms she wanted. Massive balls and parties. Beautiful stone gardens. Even custom built playmates. A pink Spinnel to joke and laugh with. And a bright pink Pearl, courtesy of Yellow

Pink begins to "growup". Not in a physical sense, of course. But in her mind. She sees Yellow and Blue doing their thing and Pink wants that, too. She wants her own planet to colonize. Her own gems. Her own space. Like the child she is, she throws tantrums to get what she wants.

One of these tantrums resulted in breaking her precious Pearl. White, the ever obsessed with perfection mother, "fixes" her Pearl. This is the first time White used her power to it's full extent. She could always sort of control the gems. Get into their minds and make them do simple things. But not quite like this. This time, she took complete control of the Pearl. She became a part of her. This is new to White. And she likes it. She can fix any gem. She can make them perfect. She can make them an extension of her. This is the pivotal point in White's life. This is where her manic blooms. Her obsession with perfection. With having others like her. Another White Diamond.

White allows Pink to get her own planet now. She doesn't really need her anymore; she can start living her own life. Pink is beyond excited. Blue is nervous. She doesn't think Pink can handle it. Yellow is proud. She wants Pink to follow in her footsteps and expand the gem empire. Yellow makes another Pearl for Pink. One to help her while she colonized her new planet: Earth.

Pink leaves her life behind. (Leaving Spinnel in the garden, which, hello SU movie.) Pink and her Pearl are off to start their new adventure. Pearl, programmed to love and adore her diamond, stays right by her side, loyal, as she was created. They create new gems in the kindergartens. More Quartzes. Amethysts, Jaspers, and, of course, Rose Quartzes. Pink, like her.

After a while, Pink begins to grow restless again. Similar to White, she's not happy for long. Always wanting more. She wants to see her planet. See her work. Blue doesn't want her to go. She's afraid she'll be hurt. Yellow tells her no, that's not what diamonds do. They don't fraternize with the lower life forms. They're not important. But Pink, she didn't care. She wants what she wants and she gets what she wants. Her Pearl, wanting nothing more than to please her diamond, finds a way to get them to Earth.

You know the story from here. Mostly. Pink disguises herself as Rose Quartz. She and her Pearl visit earth. Pink falls in love with it. She enjoys the organic lifeforms. She doesn't want to destroy them. She tries to convince her fellow diamonds to stop. To spare this planet. But they don't agree. They don't think organic life is worth anything. Not when more gems can be made. But, to try and please Pink, they build the human zoo. They create a little piece of Earth that they deem safe for Pink.

Pink and her Pearl devise a way to get what she wants. They set up the whole thing. Pink Diamond keeps her form as Rose Quartz. She easily moves about within her planet, undetected. Rallying up allies. Starting a revolution. "Playing" with human males. All while her Pearl is working overtime. Trying to keep Pink's attention, keep her happy, keep the other diamonds off their backs even as their tratorious and double crossing rebellion rises. Eventually, it all breaks down. A war breaks out. Homeworld versus the Crystal Gems. Many gems are shattered. Humans are killed. (Insert Bismuth story here...Pink doesn't like her weapon idea, does not believe in shattering gems, and so it goes. Also throw in Garnet's story around this point, slightly before Bismuth. Pink, seeing this new thing, accepts it immediately. After all, she's all about change and this is definitely something new and exciting and a way for gems to change.)

Pink can't take it anymore. She thinks that if Pink is no more, the diamonds will abandon the planet. If she fakes her death, they will have no reason to be there. The war will end. She can live in peace. No one else will have to die. She gets what she wants.

And so, Pink and her Pearl hatch the perfect plan. Pink Diamond has been shattered by Rose Quartz. The war is over. But not quite. Yes, the diamonds were done with Earth now. But they were mad. They rounded up all the Rose Quartzes on Homeworld and any other planet and bubbled them, as punishment for one of their own shattering their diamond. They sent a retreat call to the forces left on Earth and then a powerful energy blast. They wanted to kill Rose and her rebels and move on. They thought they did and so the diamonds left earth for thousands of years.

As the blast came down to Earth, Pink panicked. She didn't want this. But there was no time. She did the only thing she could. She put up her shield, protecting herself and the three gems currently with her: her precious Pearl, a small and poorly formed Amethyst, and a wonderfully new and exciting fusion, Garnet. Edit: I guess Amethyst wasn't with them at this point yet. She was still in the ground at the Kindergarten. My bad.

Soon, the four of them realized that the other gems were not killed by the blast but corrupted instead. Turned into monsters. They made it their mission to find and protect these gems. Pink thought it part of her penance. Her repayment to these gems. Even if some of them were fighting against her in the war. It didn't matter. They were gems and they deserved to live happily however they wanted to. They didn't deserve to be shattered. And they certainly didn't deserve to live as monsters, either.

Eventually, Rose(Pink) meets Greg Universe. She falls for him, much the same as the other human males that have come and gone over the ages. Her Pearl, her loyal, loving, will wait for her forever Pearl, thinks Greg is just one more plaything for Pink. She doesn't worry too much. But her jealousy comes and goes. She knows Pink will come back to her. She always does.

Pink has been maturing and learning over all these years. A war will do that to ya. She is torn. She's happy that the war is over. That she won. That she can live the life she wants. She's sad that she will never see her family again. She's angry that they hurt her and her planet. That they wouldn't listen to her. That they didn't just give her what she wanted in the first place. She's captivated by all the other lifeforms on Earth. She loves the way they can grow and change and become someone new. She wants that, desperately. She thought that becoming Rose would have been enough. But it wasn't. She was still her. All the memories. All the feelings. No true growth. No true change.

That's when Pink realizes what she can do. She can create a new life. A truly new organic life that will grow and change. And she can be a part of it. She can change, finally. She gives up her diamond to create life. A human child with her gem. Her power. She is him. But he is himself. She sacrifices her life, for real this time, to create something new. To pay for her sins. To leave her responsibilities and the pain and fear and anger behind. To become someone else. To become Steven.

And the rest, well, that's what the show is for. But, again, sort of.

Back on Homeworld over these thousands of years, the diamonds grieve. In their own ways, of course. Blue takes Pink's death hard. It makes her sad. Eternally sad and blue. Yellow throws herself back into her work desperately trying to do anything to take her mind off Pink. To not think about it. She and Blue become more distant because Yellow just cannot stand the crying and moping and feeling.

White, however, takes it the hardest. Her obsession with perfection deepens into cruelness. All her gems must be perfect. They must do only what they were created for. They can't rebel. They can't think their own thoughts. They can't kill her precious Pink again. Any imperfect gems are either fixed with enhancements or shattered. Some escape and go into hiding. White has Blue work on tech that will seek out these imperfect gems and shatter them. She must keep Homeworld perfect.

The diamonds drift apart. They no longer feel like the family they once were. Now, they are just rulers of a heartbroken empire.

The story of Rose and her rebels becomes a cautionary tale among the Homeworld gems. They either think of Rose as the villain and continue with their normal, perfect gem lives. They keep the others in line and seek out imperfect gems for White to fix or destroy. Or, they see Rose as the hero. They keep it to themselves, constantly battling to keep their personalities from showing through. To keep their love secret. To keep from being deemed imperfect. Some are desperate enough to go into hiding with other off-colors and fusions. Some risk themselves to help those imperfect gems go into hiding.

Yellow decides it's time to go back to Earth and finish the colony. Finish destroying the planet entirely. Maybe that will help Blue and White get over it. Maybe they can be a family again when all traces of Pink's death are gone. Enter: Peridot and her "simple" mission to Earth.

And so, the rest, as they say, is history. Well, it's an animated children's cartoon show. Drama. Action. Fights. Giant women. Growth. Change. Family. Love.

Garnet. Amethyst. And Pearl.

And Steven.

#steven universe #fan theory #thoughts #crystal gems #su #I just love this show and really want an origins story

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sawmillturtle · 5 years ago

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Butterflies

A Quick Note From Turtle:

This story is based upon the “SU AU Gone Wrong” fan comic by @spudinacup and is supposed to take place during the second chapter. My initial thought was to write the events of the chapter from Pink Steven’s point of view and try to capture his thought processes. Unfortunately, I failed in this. When Spud posted her notebook, it clearly states that Pink Steven can understand why others act the way they do, but cannot feel empathy or sympathy for anyone or anything. Looking at this 7,832 word behemoth, I realize that I made him a bit too eager to want to sympathize with everyone. He wants to understand. This seems a bit off the target. Of course, I had to take a few liberties to do what I wanted to do (like the butterflies) and to fit everything into the space I had to work with, but Steven being a bit OOC was not one of the liberties I intended to take.

Well, it made for a good story anyway. This was several weeks worth of work to pull off and many hours of listening to Pink Floyd music on repeat. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed making it. Spud, if you get around to reading this, I want you to know that this was intended to be a love letter to your amazing artwork. In that, at the very least, I feel I succeeded.

As a side note, try to figure out what I hid in this story. There’s a secret. Shouldn’t be too hard to spot if you know where to look. I’ve already given you a clue.

---

Hello?

HELLO?

Is this what it means to be alone? To hear only his own thoughts, and to hear those thoughts echoing in the void of his own mind like sounds reverberating off the walls of a cavern? He doesn’t know. He has never been alone. There has always been the other one. Steven Who Was. For sixteen years, the two of them had been together. Steven Who Was had never realized that he was there, but that didn’t matter to him. He’d always been there, a part of Steven Who Was, watching through their shared eyes and feeling through their shared emotions. Steven Who Was had been more than just a part of himself: Steven Who Was had been his closest friend.

There is only him now. Steven Who Remains. The other one is gone. It is hard for him to feel anything, although this isn’t because his emotions have been numbed by tragedy. At least he doesn’t think so. No, he simply can’t recall how to feel. The traces of those emotions seem to be there, in some distant part of himself, yet trying to latch onto them is like attempting to catch the faint smoke of a dying campfire with his bare hands. When he attempts to do so, they slip through his fingers and drift away.

Anybody can look at me and see that I am no longer human. My humanity died with the other one. But if I’m not human anymore, what am I? Am I even still Steven? Am I Pink Diamond? Am I something else entirely?

In their early years, the Greg Universe took Steven Who Was on a road trip to Empire City. Steven Who Was must have been about six or seven at the time. They’d been there for eight days as the Greg took care of business that he hadn’t bothered to explain to Steven Who Was. Probably something to do with his music career. On one bright Sunday, they’d walked by a church where the people inside were singing about how they’d fly away, oh glory. When Steven Who Was had asked what they meant, Greg had given a basic explanation of religion and of the human belief in eternal souls. Steven Who Was had not been impressed by it, nor had Steven Who Remains.

There is something about it, though, that nags at his mind. He stands in the bathroom, watching the blood run off of his hands and into the sink basin, thinking about eternity, the afterlife, and what it means as far as he is concerned. The blood swirls around the drain, mixing with the clean water and vanishing in ribbons of grisly crimson. That had been his blood. The blood of Steven Who Was. That Steven is dead now, but he still exists.

Just what happened to people like Steven Who Was? Is his eternal human soul on a cloud somewhere, playing a harp and flapping its wings? If so, what is he? If Steven Who Was went to human heaven, is he even Steven anymore? He looks like Steven. He remembers being Steven. If asked by anyone (and someone will inevitably ask; of that he is certain), he will surely tell people that he’s Steven. But if the body is dead and the soul is gone to some hallelujah by-and-by glory land, what does one call whatever is left? There’s no word for it, because it isn’t natural. Humans leave their bodies behind and Gems leave their shards behind, each shard containing a fraction of what once was.

Nod. That seems to describe him, doesn’t it? A shard. A fraction. A portion of something that was once whole. Is he any different than those pieces of the cluster existing in the Earth’s core? Is he in any way different from the Gem experiments that attacked Steven Who Was and Connie? He has trouble convincing himself of the contrary. He’s not supposed to exist like this. He’s not supposed to be… him. The other one, Steven Who Was, is supposed to be a part of him. Without that essential part of himself, what is he but a shattered remnant?

If he is thinking of himself this way, if he has trouble even seeing himself as anything but unnatural, what will the others think? He can hear them through the door, fighting over the body. Lapis and Peridot. Peridot knows that the body is compromised. No heartbeat. Lungs deactivated. Fixing Steven Who Was is not possible. Lapis doesn’t want to believe that. She’s even now screaming at Peridot to try again.

You are going to want me to do something. I know this already. You will expect me to heal the body.

Can he blame her? No. He wants to be able to do something. He wants more than anything for this to be some terrible dream. He doesn’t want to be washing the blood of Steven Who Was down the drain. He doesn’t want to think about how broken and helpless the body looked, lying on the grass. He doesn’t want to remember how optimistic Steven Who Was had been just minutes before, singing about the brightness of the future. Nothing to fear. No one to fight. If only Steven Who Was had known, if only he’d known just how much they actually had to fear. That the fight to come would be their last together.

Hear that sound? It’s not the sound of water running down the drain; it’s the sound of hope dying. I couldn’t keep Steven Who Was from dying. When it came right down to it, I failed him. I failed all of them. Steven is dead. If I’m not to blame for that, who is? The Gem with the scythe, obviously. But who wasn’t there to protect him from the Gem with the scythe? Who wasn’t there to provide backup and support when there was a clearly dangerous Gem on the loose?

Me. I wasn’t there. They’re all going to blame me. They’re all going to look at me, see the echo of a dead man. Every time they look at me, they’re going to see him and blame me.

Is the Greg going to see him that way, too? What is the Greg going to think? At some point, he is going to have to confront the man who had been their father. At some point the Greg is going to see the body, or be told about it, and then he is going to see him. Steven Who Remains. What will happen? What will he say? Steven Who Remains certainly doesn’t think he’ll embrace him and call him his son. There will be no tender moment, no air guitar or story from the past to bring them together. There will be only---

There is no point in following that line of thought any further. Whatever is going to happen with the Greg, it is not going to be pleasant. Furthermore, dwelling upon it will only add to the heavy burden sitting in his mind already. He shuts off the water and closes the bathroom mirror, catching a glimpse of his reflection for the first time as he does so. The diamond eyes stare back at him. He is the spitting image of Steven Who Was. Looking into his own reflection is like looking into the face of a dead man.

Anyone else looking at me is really going to lose their mind.

At this, the thoughts really begin to flood in. What is he going to tell Connie? What is he going to tell Garnet or Amethyst or Pearl? All of these beings who had loved Steven Who Was the most, and now all they have left is a rapidly cooling corpse and him. He is, he can admit, a poor substitute. He doesn’t even know what he is. How is he supposed to give them the answers they will demand of him? How is he supposed to give the answers he demands of himself? None of them are going to understand. They aren’t going to see him as anything but an abomination, a constant reminder of an unspeakable tragedy. Even Bismuth, who had attempted to treat him as she had always treated Steven Who Was, was betrayed by the look in her own eyes. He saw it there as she took him by the shoulders and led him

(home?)

Come to think of it, is this really his home?

On the bathroom counter, more and more of those butterflies land, fluttering their wings. He knows they aren’t real, but Garnet’s lessons to Stevonnie have paid off. She taught them to visualize intrusive thoughts as white butterflies, and now that is all he can picture. They swirl around the bathroom in a mass of white, hateful wings. He can almost feel them behind him, forming into something familiar, something he doesn’t want to think about: the colossal face of Steven Who Was.

“Now what will we do?” Butterfly Steven mocks. “I’m dead, you’re an abomination, and it’s all your fault!”

I can’t… I have to remember Garnet’s training.

“Hear what I’m telling you,” Butterfly Steven snarls. “My death is on your head. Everything that happened is because you failed to act.”

You're… not real.

Feeling the thoughts overwhelming him, smothering him, he thinks back on Garnet’s words: It was just a thought. It’s okay. But that advice was for fusions acting as one, wasn’t it? To keep fusions from becoming unstable. He isn’t a fusion any more. He supposes that the advice is still sound, but just thinking of fusions breaks his concentration and sets the butterflies to swarming again.

“Down in the mouth?” Butterfly Steven calls. More and more his voice sounds less like Steven and more like the one who killed him. The rubber hose bitch. “You should be. I mean, what are the others going to say? Well

(well well well well let me get a look at the menagerie)

“I won’t--”

Can it.

Ease off.

“Your pain is only beginning, whether I’m here or not,” Butterfly Steven says as his form begins to dissolve. “You’ll see.”

Pain? He isn’t sure if that is the right word to use, because he has a hard time remembering what pain is. It’s the campfire smoke all over again. He thinks he might have an inkling of what it means. He knows the textbook definition, but processing and feeling that emotion seems impossible with his humanity literally slashed to pieces. He is certainly in for an ordeal, and he needs no emotional processing to understand that.

“Get the machine going again!” Lapis yells from the other side of the wall.

“You don’t understand,” the smaller voice of Peridot replies. “I don’t know how else to tell you--”

On that, Steven Who Remains turns from the sink with a sigh. The blood is long gone. He is just delaying the inevitable, standing here listening to the fighting and letting his thoughts torment him like this.

Your pain is only beginning, whether I’m here or not.

Feet away, a mere stone’s throw, another butterfly appears. He stares at it for a moment, then disregards it.

“Again!” Lapis demands. Peridot is pleading with her now, but Lapis is having none of it. Another butterfly appears. He looks at it, and it looks back at him.

Relax, it seems to be saying as he moves past it and opens the bathroom door. I’m just a harmless butterfly. A product of your shattered mind. Don’t mind me.

“I’ll tell you again,” Peridot is saying as he steps out, “that it’s not going to work any more than it already has.”

Need for results has driven Lapis to desperation, and she lashes out at Peridot, coming close to violence. Bismuth admonishes them both for their behavior, but it isn’t Bismuth’s raised voice or words that bring everything to a standstill: it is the sight of him as he steps out into the light. He gives them a wave, as if he’s just a normal guy entering a normal room where normal things are happening. Where there’s not a dead body on the couch and bloody gems on the counter top. Where he’s not a ghost, a vapor, a remnant of what was.

Some part of him, perhaps some lingering yet dying part of his remaining humanity, hoped against hope that Lapis and Peridot wouldn’t be giving him the looks they’re giving him. Lapis looks like he’s just walked into the room and ripped a giant fart; Peridot looks either terrified or furious, though he can’t figure out which. Maybe both. Bismuth is uncomfortable. She stutters, curses, asks him for something.

Information. She wants to know his name. What should they call him? She doesn’t say the rest, but she doesn’t have to. It lingers in the air like a bad odor: What should they call him now that Steven is dead?

First name given: Steven.

Just Steven.

The reaction from Lapis is swift and unpleasant. She flies off the handle again, gesturing wildly at the body and screaming at him that the dead boy is Steven. Bloody water from a nearby bowl ascends into the air, fueled by her rage and sorrow.

Basic tact would have told him that this response would be the wrong one, but such things seem beyond him now. While his mind is a torrent of conflicting thoughts, a lot of his actions seem almost programmatic, as though he is nothing more than a computer carrying out commands. The words slipped from his lips as easily and effortlessly as rain water sliding through the gutters. He found this had also been true when he’d gone into the bathroom to wash up. While the blood had caused a lot of turmoil in him, washing it off had been almost routine.

Facts are facts: I’m not human anymore. I can’t feel the emotions I used to take for granted. I can’t restrain myself like a human. I can’t remember how to laugh. God, I can’t even remember what it feels like to laugh.

Can I even call myself a Gem? Even Gems laugh. What in God’s name am I?

“You want to be Steven?” Lapis demands, bringing him out of his own head. She points back at the remains of Steven Who Was. “Heal him!”

“Show them,” a nearby butterfly mocks. “Show them you can’t do it so that they’ll hate you even more. Look at how Bismuth has to try and shield you from Lapis. Look at the anguish in Lapis’ eyes. What do you think is the source of all of her pain right now?”

Me. It’s coming… from me.

“Where is it coming from?” the butterfly prods. “Say it again.”

It is coming from me. Looking at me, seeing the ghost of him, hurts them all.

“Hurts them?” the butterfly says. “It isn’t just hurting them; it’s tearing them apart.”

There is blood on Lapis’ hands as she stretches out her palms, demanding answers from him: if Steven heals people, why can’t he? He reaches down and clasps his gem. The gem that used to belong to Steven Who Was. It’s a self-conscious gesture, of that he’s quite aware. He does it anyway. It’s almost… a human gesture, as if there are still remnants of Steven Who Was inside of him, sputtering and fizzling out like dying embers. He looks towards the body.

Is there really nothing he can do?

No action he can take?

Pain riddles the voices of Bismuth and Peridot as they attempt to explain the frailty of organic life to Lapis. Rather than give her some peace of mind about the situation, it seems to fuel her anger. The bloody water that has been drifting towards the ceiling in grisly balls now swirls into a macabre spiral above their heads.

“You can’t do anything,” the butterfly says.

Are you sure? Why am I even listening to you?

Receding into the shadows, the butterfly vanishes and is replaced by two others. The first reminds him that Steven’s death was his fault. The second reminds him again and again of how broken he is. He isn’t fully human anymore, but he certainly isn’t a full Gem. He hasn’t been a full Gem since the day Rose Quartz gave up her form.

(a single pale rose a pink diamond a liar did she just make me so she wouldnt have to deal with all her mistakes)

Distant memories, those. Again, he is struck by how hard it is to remember emotion. He can certainly remember Steven Who Was in the pink room, shouting at a simulated version of his mother. He can remember Steven Who Was being sad and angry and conflicted. Yet, upon recalling these memories, he can not remember the emotions themselves. The emotions and the memories should come as a single package, yet they do not. There is a strange disconnect he can’t explain. In a strange way, it is like the day Steven Who Was and the Greg and Lapis Lazuli went out on a yacht

(ship)

(smoke from the engine)

on the open sea.

The day had started out nice enough. They'd done some fishing, soaked up some sun. Lapis had refused the Greg’s hat. At some point, the engine had exploded, causing black smoke to billow from below deck and bringing them to a standstill.

(horizon darkened horizon there were storm clouds there was rain and then she came)

(you i’ve been following you)

Are these two really going to fuse again? That’s what Steven Who Was had been thinking, over and over again, as Jasper got down on her knees and begged Lapis to become Malachite for a second time. Yet despite Jasper’s promises that she had changed, that things would be better, Lapis refused her. To be more precise, she formed a large water fist and punched her so hard she became a speck in the stratosphere. To latch onto those human emotions, to understand them, made him feel like Jasper did that day. He all but begged them to take him back, but they turned a cold shoulder to him.

Only, they aren’t just turning a cold shoulder. It’s like they’re pushing him away. Or punching him away. Each time he reaches for them, they seem more distant. Less defined.

Coming closer and closer to not being there at all.

Through all of his musings, his hand hasn’t left his gem. He’s been standing here, staring at Steven Who Was with a blank expression. Lapis has been growing angrier with him by the second. He is brought back to reality by a soft plink. A drop of red water from the hurricane above them. It runs down his face and drips off his nose. Another falls. Then another. Blood rain.

In the split second it takes him to register this, all hell breaks loose. Lapis, who has been clenching her fists and her teeth and glaring daggers at him, loses her composure and screams. Her grip on the vortex shatters.

Waves of bloody water pour down on everything.

Your pain is only beginning, whether I’m here or not.

Lips are moving, mouths are speaking, Bismuth is screaming, but he can’t hear her. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion. Lapis has him by the shirt, her enraged eyes mere inches from his. In this instant, several thought processes go through his broken mind. She’s demanding that he cry over the body, that he save Steven Who Was as Steven Who Was once saved Lars. He dismisses her as a threat in an instant. Lapis, as angry as she is, is not going to hurt him. He also knows that these demands might have been within the powers of Steven Who Was

(move your ass cry help him fix him)

but they might not be within his own.

I can’t even remember what it’s like to feel sad. How can I possibly cry over the body?

Can't remember.

“Hear how much pain she’s in,” a nearby butterfly says. “It’s your fault for letting Steven die. You--”

What the butterfly says next is lost as Bismuth gets between him and Lapis and pushes them apart. He stumbles backwards, his hand finally leaving his gem. When he regains his balance, Bismuth is still between them. He fixes Lapis with a glare. She is no threat, and she is merely acting upon her grief and emotions, but she has still pissed him off.

“You're feeling anger?” the butterfly says, sounding surprised. “Seems like you’re still feeling something after all.”

Saying that this was emotion is a bit of a stretch. He knows he didn’t like being roughed up and he knows he doesn’t like being pushed around. It is a certain amount of… displeasure. It certainly seems like what he remembers as anger. Is it because he had reacted instinctively to it? Were emotions more difficult to grasp onto if he was trying?

When the other Gem, the one who looked like some kind of sad clown, had poofed all of his friends and killed Steven Who Was, there had been emotion then. There was no doubt about that. He’d been furious. His hands had trembled with effort when Bismuth had arrived and reminded him that shattering Gems was wrong. It had taken everything inside of him to release that terrible scythe and let the clown bitch live.

I wasn’t trying to be angry. It just came.

Was that the key to all of this? If so, why did the emotions not come even when he wasn’t trying? Why could he not remember laughter? Why could he not remember the joy of a smile or why being around friends and family elicited feelings of love?

A quandary for certain.

Child Steven

(i think the gems refer to him as classic steven)

had a day perhaps a year or so prior to the end of the war in which he was snowed in with his family, listening to stories of how the Gems kidnapped him and stole the Greg’s van. That day was one of the happiest in the memories for Steven Who Was, and one that Steven Who Was often looked back on with fondness.

A happy day, indeed. But why? And why did Steven Who Was also think back so often on a certain week when Connie fell dreadfully ill? What was it the humans called this strange experience?

Fever. Connie had a fever. Steven had been at her side the entire time, cooking her soup and applying cold washcloths to her forehead. Mrs. Maheswaran told Steven that he needn’t spend all of his time fawning over Connie, that she was more than capable as a mother of taking care of her daughter.

“My time is Connie’s time until she gets better,” Steven told her, spoon-feeding Connie small amounts of hot soup.

Hands shaking, Connie reached up and stroked Steven’s cheek. It was a small, quick gesture, but it

(felt wonderful)

just made Steven more resolved to stick it out to the end.

Like the jam buds they were.

Two fantastic ingredients, jam and biscuit, which when combined together, make each other even better.

Balloons was an even better analogy, at least in mind of Steven Who Was. He sometimes liked to picture them as two balloons, floating higher and higher, their strings intertwined. There was no doubt in the mind of Steven Who Remains that Steven Who Was had been in love with Connie almost from the outset. Despite Garnet’s claims that “love takes time and love takes work”, Steven hadn’t experienced it quite the same way. From the moment he’d laid eyes on her, something in him had clicked. That’s why he’d saved her glow bracelet in the freezer. That’s why he’d tried so hard to impress her with his funky flow.

Now all those dreams he had are in ruins. The balloons have popped.

I've got to figure out what I’m going to tell her when she inevitably shows up.

Got to figure it out.

That was going to be fun, wasn’t it? Well, you see Connie,

(feeling optimistic connie ha boy do i have a whopper of a tale for you)

once everything finally quieted down and Steven was gearing up for some well-deserved R&R, a Gem we’d never seen before showed up and gutted Steven with a scythe and lopped off his arm. I should have done something to help, honestly. My bad.

Again, the butterflies begin to grow in number while Bismuth tries to get Lapis quieted down.

I can’t let this happen. You and Connie are supposed to be endgame.

Can't let it happen without trying to fix it.

Explain to Connie why the boy she loves is in pieces? Not if I can help it.

You both deserve better.

Would it make it easier for everyone if he at least tried, but still failed?

Not likely.

Understand, please, that I want Steven to be better as much as any of you.

This last thought sets him in motion. He moves away from Bismuth and Lapis and towards Peridot, who is attempting to block access to Steven Who Was with her body. Steven Who Remains never even breaks his stride. Peridot ends up diving out of the way to keep from being stepped on. She scuttles under the table, bumping it and sending a bowl of blood water crashing to the floor. She cowers behind Bismuth’s leg as they all watch him approach Steven Who Was.

Is the world supposed to look like a glitchy video game?

Not this way. No.

How could it be?

I feel like things are---

Am I imagining it, or are things beginning to go loopy?

I see Steven Who Was, but something is wrong. It’s like things are beginning to shift all around me, go out of frame. I feel more broken than ever.

“Have things become a little too real for you?” a nearby butterfly asks.

Become too real?

“Comfortably standing at a distance is one thing, but how do you feel now that you’re right next to him?”

Numb. I feel numb.

I feel broken.

Have things always looked this fragmented? When did the blood get back on my hands? Is that supposed to be there? When did they reattach his arm?

(become too real)

(comfortably standing at a distance is one thing, but how do you feel now that you’re right next to him)

(numb)

Okay, enough of this. Not only is he being watched, but Steven’s very survival depends upon his ability to produce some effective healing tears. He can’t let himself become disoriented and delusional. He shoots a look at the hateful butterfly, which vanishes into mist. He reaches out and touches Steven Who Was, hesitating for but a moment. Then he takes him by the hand and looks down at him. No tears come. He is not surprised.

Just an hour before, they’d been one. He’d been a part of Steven Who Was, and it was easier to be human. Steven Who Was had been smiling and singing and loving on his family.

A single event had destroyed all of that, but he will fix it if he can. He hopes beyond all hope that this will work. Little bits of memory trickle back to him as he leans down and kisses Steven Who Was on the forehead. He thinks he feels something, so tiny it is like a

(little remnant of magic)

pinprick. He experiences something that he thinks might be an emotion called hope. It begins to form inside of him, starting small but gradually swelling. He stands back and waits. Peridot creeps forward and looks at the heart monitor. Bismuth and Lapis follow, all of them waiting for the flat line on the screen to spring to life. For those terrible zeroes to increase, to show that there is some sign of life somewhere deep inside the cold body.

There'll be an improvement any moment now.

Be better. Get better. Live. Please.

“No improvement,” Peridot said at last. Bismuth cast a cautious eye at Lapis as Peridot said this. The hope balloon that had been getting bigger within him pops and leaves him feeling deflated.

“More,” Lapis says to him, her voice cold. “You should have done more. You should have cried.”

Ah, just leave me alone, he thinks as he strokes the hair of Steven Who Was. Can’t she see that he wants it as badly as she does? More than she does?

“But if you want it so bad," a nearby butterfly says, "why didn't it work?"

You already know why it didn't work.

"May I suggest that it didn’t work because you’re not capable?” the butterfly says. “Just like you weren’t capable of saving Steven. I feel--”

Feel this.

A puff of smoke and the butterfly is gone. Steven Who Remains turns his attention back to the conversation at hand. Bismuth is of the opinion that Steven wouldn’t cry because Steven can’t cry. She elaborates upon this by pulling out the scythe. The one that started this whole mess.

Little pinpricks of fear erupt inside of him and become an almost primal need to get Steven Who Was as far from the killing weapon as possible. He doesn’t understand what the device is capable of, or if it had the ability to do even more damage than it already has, but he isn’t taking any chances. Neither is Peridot. She recoils from it as if the mere act of touching it would cause her to lose all of her character development.

Sick device used by a sick bitch of a Gem, Steven thinks, cradling the body. Bismuth is talking about how Homeworld used it to “rejuvenate” rebellious Gems, but Steven isn’t listening. He is regarding the Rejuvenator-- and now Bismuth-- with caution and distrust.

Can you put that damn thing away please?

You should have gotten rid of it.

Stand farther away at least.

Up on the second floor perhaps?

“I don’t know what it did to the Crystal Gems,” Bismuth says, looking toward the bloody collection of gems on the counter, “but if this thing reset them, we’ll find a way to get them back. They’re the O.G. Crystal Gems, after all. It’ll take something far worse to keep them out of the game.”

Do not underestimate the terrible tool in your hand, Steven thinks, dragging the body as far away from Bismuth as he can.

Believe the stories you hear. If not them, then believe your own eyes. Look at Steven Who Was.

It's mere moments after Bismuth bends down to talk to Peridot again, seemingly about a way to help or fix Steven (Steven isn’t really listening), that Steven himself rises from the couch. Bismuth has placed the Rejuvenator on the counter and has carelessly forgotten about it.

Working quickly, he grabs the hateful device in both hands and holds it there. He looks down at the bubbled gem of the other one. The rubber hose clown. He looks down at the tool in his hands again.

Good God, what could drive her to such an act? Who is she? Why would she just show up out of nowhere and kill? What purpose does it serve? She claimed she didn’t know Steven wouldn’t poof. She even tried to apologize for all of this, but--

“That'll be a serious mistake,” the voice of Bismuth calls out to him, breaking him from his thoughts. He looks over. All of their eyes are now upon him. “Don’t do it, Steven. Why don’t you just put that down?”

Keep away. I have to do this. For me. For Steven Who Was.

“You don’t need to do anything foolish,” Bismuth says. “Why don’t we just talk about it?”

Going to do it. Going to end it.

Through all of this, through all of the guilt butterflies and the accusing face of Steven Who Was, the well-being of Steven has been at the forefront of his mind. If he hadn’t failed him, Steven would be alive now. If Steven was alive, he and Connie would still have a future. If the rubber hose girl hadn’t showed up, Steven would still be alive. It all came down to the rubber hose Gem and the horrendous tools of death and destruction she’d brought with her. Well, he could right at least one wrong.

The Rejuvenator cracks as he snaps it in two. There is a short buzz of electricity as the circuits inside die, then it becomes a useless stick. It would never harm anyone ever again. He looks back at the other Gems to find that Bismuth is once again restraining Lapis Lazuli, except this time she isn’t coming at him to make demands; she is ready to

(show me how much she hates me)

come at him full force and destroy him if it comes right down to it.

On this note, Bismuth gulps and reaches out a shaky hand towards him. He makes her nervous. He makes her uncomfortable. She has tried valiantly to hide this from him, but it has become too much for her to bear. She can conceal her true feelings no longer.

“It's okay,” she says to him. “Do you feel better?”

Time to respond. To say something in return. To give her a little something. To show some humanity, or some emotion, or some empathy. Why can’t he open his mouth? Why won’t the words come? It seems like it would be appropriate to say something, but some part of his programming tells him that it isn’t necessary to say something. It seems to him that in this case, his programming is wrong. Either that, or his programming is as broken as the rest of him. Still, he maintains his silence.

“To be honest,” she says after a long and rather awkward period where he simply stares up at her with his diamond eyes, “I wouldn’t want that thing around me, either.”

“Go on,” a nearby butterfly says. “Ask her if she meant the Rejuvenator, or if she was talking about you.”

There is a knock on the door, cutting off this exchange and causing the butterfly to evaporate. Before anyone can think to answer it, the Greg throws it open. He is holding a baseball bat and screaming Steven’s name.

Is there any way that this day can get any worse?

No. Not unless Connie shows up.

Pain drips from the Greg’s voice and tears run from his eyes. He runs to Steven Who Remains and embraces him. He expresses his relief at finding his son alive. Apparently, Bismuth shot him a text at some point. This is… awkward.

“You have no idea what you’re going to say to this man, do you?” a butterfly sneers as it flutters past. It moves towards Steven Who Was.

Are you serious? Get away from him!

Receding more and more as it grows closer, it laughs at him. Something is wrong. Something is terribly wrong.

A moment later, Steven Who Was turns his head and looks at him. Whatever the Greg is saying is lost as Steven Who Was lets out a groan and lurches from the couch.

Distant memories begin to flood in again, taking control and making the world seem glitchy and hazy.

(ship shaped like an arm)

(smoke or dust on the horizon of homeworld)

On a distant planet, they fought a good fight against the greatest tyrants the universe has ever known. One by one, each of these tyrants was brought to Steven’s side. The last holdout, White Diamond, refused to bend, and stood proud upon her platform, passing judgment upon them all.

The events of that day, the day of their first separation, are firm in his mind. Of all the things he has trouble remembering, this is not one of them. White Diamond, big as the Trade Center Building in Empire City, grabbing Steven in her mighty fist. Her pointy black claws raising his shirt and digging into his belly. The gem they shared coming out. Then he was there. Pink Steven. This was a brand new experience for him. For both of them. A bold new… what’s the human word?

Horizon.

You begged me that day. You looked at me, fell on your face. NO, PLEASE. I NEED - I NEED IT!

Are those words coming out of his mouth now? Oh, sweet heavens they are.

Only...

“Coming out” might not be the right phrase. More like “tumbling out”, “slurring out”, “sliding out”. Steven Who Remains is reminded of the old zombie flicks Steven Who Was used to watch on television late at night. These brute beasts with guts hanging out or rotting limbs dangling would lurch around and groan and grunt.

Through a massive swarm of butterflies, Steven Who Was reaches for him. Blood pours from his empty eye sockets in torrents. The blood pools on the floor beneath their feet.

In this moment, Steven Who Remains reaches in desperation for Garnet’s words.

Waves of fear crash over him, followed by waves of guilt.

Your training! Remember your training!

Lips barely matching the words he is saying, Steven Who Was speaks again: “I need it!”.

Move back to the couch. You aren’t real. Aren’t real. Aren’t real. You’re dead.

But he is having trouble convincing himself of that. He finds himself reaching for the outstretched hand of Steven Who Was, as if they are going to fuse back together again. He can also feel the pool of blood in which he is standing. The blood is between his toes, down inside his flip-flops.

I can’t handle this!

“Can't handle it! Can’t handle it! Can’t handle it!” the butterflies mock.

“Hear him now,” they laugh. “How strong he seemed, banishing us and chanting ‘Just a thought’ like a mantra. Where is your precious Garnet now?”

What is happening to me?

You’re not real! None of you are real! He’s not real, either!

Saying it over and over again in his head makes the visions begin to break apart, but they have one more trick: When Steven Who Was moves closer, Steven Who Remains can smell the decay coming from him. It is one of the worst rotten meat odors he’s ever experienced. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He thinks back on that day of training: Take a moment to ask yourself if this is how we fall apart.

When he opens his eyes, the butterflies are gone, Steven Who Was is back on the couch, and the Greg is calling out to him.

I didn’t mean to let you die, Steven thinks, looking over at Steven Who Was. I didn’t mean for this to be how we fell apart.

Was that fear on Bismuth’s face? She looks like she expects him to fly off the handle at any time, or expects the Greg to look back at the couch where Steven lay. What will happen when he sees his son’s body?

A disaster, that’s what. He will lose his composure. He might even go insane. Steven was the only family he had left, unless you count cousin Andy. Greg has no one now. He is all alone.

Child of the Greg. Son of Rose. I’m sorry.

I am so sorry. To you as well, Greg. This should never have happened

Caught up in the moment, an emotion comes back to him, raw and unexpected but real nonetheless: it is sadness. For the first time since this tragedy happened, he is able to feel something other than anger.

A simple, brief

(fleeting)

glimpse of the humanity he had so long taken for granted.

Out on the beach, the rain begins to fall. There is a distant roll of thunder. Is it poetic or cheesy to think of it as the sorrowful tears of the planet Steven had given his life to defend? Probably cheesy, but there it is. Everyone had shed a tear for Steven today except for him, even the goddamn planet itself. Why is he so incapable of this simple act, when it might prove to be Steven’s saving grace?

Of course, there is the possibility that Bismuth is right and that the Rejuvenator has somehow reset him to an earlier state. Strangely enough, he doesn’t feel reset. He remembers Steven’s life. He remembers their experiences together. If he is a reset Gem, shouldn’t he be more… Pink Diamond? Shouldn’t his memories be erased as well?

The answers will not be quick in coming, if they ever come at all. Likely, the only answers they’ll ever get will be from the rubber hose Gem. They’ll have to unbubble her eventually if they want to unravel this. No pun intended.

Corner her. Threaten her. Make her talk.

Of all the ideas that have gone through his head this day, this one is by far his least favorite. He doubts the Gems will be on board with it, either. Pure aggression is not their way, unless it is an absolute last resort.

“My human is dead! What do you know about what you did to me? How do I fix it?”

Eye to eye and with the Breaking Point pointed at her Gem, maybe it would work, but it seems ugly and messy and… Homeworld. He won’t resort to those kinds of tactics. Not even on her.

I almost did, though, didn’t I? When I held her gem in my hand.

Turned it this way and that. Looked at it. Dropped it on the ground. Pointed a sharp object at it…

To go down that rabbit hole was to risk having another episode, and he won’t do that. He will figure out how to get answers from her, but that isn’t the important thing to focus on at the moment.

Look at the Greg’s face. Look at the concern there. He hasn’t turned around yet. He’s still looking at me! Should I say something? Should I do something?

But he can’t. That part of his programming, the broken part, will not allow it. It keeps saying that it is unnecessary. Is it that, or is it some botched signal? Is the reality that he doesn’t want to be the one to break the old man’s heart?

It shouldn’t have to be anyone’s job to break his heart! We shouldn’t have to do this! Steven shouldn’t be dead!

Was that all there was to it? He feels something. Some emotion. Weak as a dying heartbeat. He reaches for it, but it slips away. He reaches for it again. It grows even fainter. It vanishes.

Gone. Had it been guilt? Apprehension? He doesn’t know.

I hate being a fraction of a person. A shard. A being who cannot feel emotions or react to social cues or show even the slightest bit of sorrow to an unspeakable tragedy.

Cannot or will not?

Put in simple terms, he can’t even tell if his inability to behave like a person is because he isn’t a person and thus can’t be expected to act like one, or because some mental block is keeping him from doing so. Do Gems even get mental blocks? He supposes that it’s possible. Gems can get emotional hang ups after being lied to, they can grieve for six thousand years, and they can eat and drink and pee in the ocean. Would it not, then, be possible for something to affect a Gem in such a way that it makes them unable to act in certain ways or feel certain things?

My best friend was just murdered by a crazy clown. Like something out of a Stephen King novel. I’d say that qualifies. We were all so happy. It was like the hand of fate came down on us for no reason.

Finger of God type stuff. Like we were too happy. Like the war was our destiny, and we weren’t suffering enough or something.

On that note, he dismisses the thought. He has never put much stock in religion. The reality is that they weren’t struck down by the hand of God; they were attacked by a crazy fuck with a scythe.

It really is as simple as that. If he has some kind of complex, it is because of her.

Now he has to determine how he is going to deal with it. How they are all going to deal with it. When he’d been standing in the bathroom, Butterfly Steven said something that had been cruel but true: this isn’t his life. This isn’t his home.

The others will feel the same.

Child of the Greg, son of Rose he is not. His diamond pupils and pink glow make that abundantly clear.

Is there going to be anything for me here when this is all over and done with?

Grown up Pink Steven might end up being a complete pariah in a world built by the blood, sweat and tears of classic human Steven.

The idea, surprisingly, does not fill him with dread or apprehension. He finds that, due to his emotional limitations, it is hard to care about much of anything except for Steven Who Was. He supposes that he cares about the Greg, and he supposes that he cares about the friends of Steven Who Was. A concern for the well-being of another has very little to do with emotion. When it comes to himself, however, it is a different story. Gems are not known for their drive for self-preservation. When Sapphire had run away with Ruby, Ruby hadn’t given much thought to whether she would be shattered or not, responding instead by asserting that there were tons of her. Pearl had thrown herself in front of weapon after weapon to keep Rose Quartz safe. Steven had given his life without hesitation in his efforts to protect his friends.

Dream big, but don’t put too high a value on your own life. That’s the Gem way.

Is that right? Certainly seems that way. And to boot, it stirs up some emotion in him. Is it indignation? Anger? Outrage at such a blase attitude? Before he can grasp it to identify it, it slips away.

Gone again.

I need to get a grip on that somehow. Need to learn how to process emotions without Steven there to do it for me.

Have to. Don’t have a choice.

Become my own person. Losing Steven Who Was may have left me a shattered remnant of what we once were, but maybe I can learn to be whole. Maybe I can break my programming like the original Crystal Gems did when they rebelled. Maybe I can learn to deal with emotions, and function like the Gem that I am. Learn to grasp things and respond and shed this callousness. Maybe then I won’t be quite so

(comfortably)

numb.

#steven universe #steven universe future #su au gone wrong #spudinacup #pink floyd #pink steven #steven universe the movie

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suthoughts · 6 years ago

Text

The Future of Steven Universe

Since Change Your Mind aired both myself and other fans have found themselves asking, what’s next for Steven Universe? With corruption cured and the apparent destruction of Homeworlds cast system where else is there to go?

In this post I’m going to talk about what I think is next for Steven Universe, looking at the unresolved mysteries and problems, along with characters who still have a story to tell, and the possible aftermath of the last episode.

Unresolved Mysteries:

The Pyramid Temple:

We can deduce from the era 2 diamond insignia on the floor that the Pyramid temple was sent to earth after the war. Why was it sent and what was the meaning of the rather cryptic mural on the ceiling?

Pink Diamonds Creation:

The drawings Steven looked at during Familiar seemed to be depicting Pink Diamonds creation. Was there any reason why she was created? One of the drawings seemed to depict a Geode, is there any connection to the Geode on Earth.

Lion’s Chest:

We’ve gone back to feeling like we have a much more solid grasp on Roses life again, however this chest remains unexplained. What’s in there and why did Rose want to keep it locked away somewhere so secure that it couldn’t even be accessed after her death? Where is the key now?

The origins of Pearl:

The fandom is currently divided between those who believe our Pearl was created by the other Diamonds as a replacement Pearl for Pink, and those who believe she once belonged to White Diamond. Either way, what made the Diamonds give her a new Pearl if she got the last one taken away for ‘bad behaviour’?

Pink Pearl’s Missing Eye:

How and why did Pink Pearl lose her eye? The fact that the first thing she does is feel where her left eye used to be while she asks what happened suggests that her eye was still there when she was ‘bleached’ by White. Is it a result of being under Whites control for so long or did something else happen?

Jungle Moon:

The planet that orbits the Jungle Moon was destroyed, and not in the way that you get from colonisation. What happens here?

White Diamond:

Why did White Diamond know so much? Not just about the fact that Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond were the same person, but she also knew a lot about organic terminology (such as mother and child). Why did she believe she was supposed to be perfect and how did she come into existence?

Unresolved Problems:

The Human Zoo:

Both the bubbled Rose Quartzes and the Zoomans need to be dealt with.

The Zoomans present the problem of being not only content with their captivity but completely unable to survive outside of the zoo. Even beyond the complexities of the human world they’re going to need to be taught a lot of things that most people wouldn’t even need telling due to their upbringing. They currently have all the fear and common sense of a baby and have to be taught not to just walk into the sea or run into the road. Also, given how they coped with rejection, how will they respond to things like hunger?

The Bubble Rose Quartzes have a simpler solution of just unbubbling them with the knowledge they won’t Immediately die, however there are still complications regarding their release. Regardless of the way individual Rose Quartz may feel about having been bubbled for goodness knows how long (which presents a whole other set of problems) they still have to be filled in on a LOT of Gem history and, most importantly, relocated.

The Resource Crisis and Gem Reproduction:

Homeworld is still in the middle of a resource crisis, likely brought on by the unsustainable way they have of producing more gems. Sooner or later the Homeworld will run dry, and sooner or later the Diamonds are going to want to colonise another planet and, in the process, wipe out all the life from it.

Shattered Gems:

Shattered gems have a degree of consciousness, not enough to truly alive, but enough to suffer. Ideally a way would be found to free them from their gemstones and let them move on.

Characters:

Bismuth:

Bismuth has just been reunited with her closest friends, however for a very long time her existence revolves entirely around the war to the extent that her ‘purpose’ was making weapons for the rebels to fight with. While the construction of the house is keeping her busy at the moment how will she adjust to the life of a civilian and how will she handle rubbing shoulders with gems like Jasper or Nephrite, who used to be her enemy?

Lapis:

Now that she’s stopped isolating herself Lapis’s character can begin to grow. At the moment she feels she’s the only one who can’t ‘let go’ of her trauma, something that (given that the episode after she said this saw us journeying into Pearls repressed war memories) is obviously untrue. What Lapis needs is constructive coping techniques that don’t involve lashing out at those around her.

While Steven and Peridot meant well they both have a tendency to blame themselves for situations outside of there control and were scared of hurting Lapis further. Now however, as part of the main group, Lapis will have to interact with Pearl (who knows what it’s like to be treated like an object, and used to have a very similar way of dealing with her feelings) and Garnet (who while being kind and supportive will let Lapis know when she goes too far).

There’s also the matter of her back story. Now that we finally know about Pearls life on Homeworld she is now, officially, the Gem we know the least about. It’s also important to note that, other than Lapis, every other part of her origin story was a silhouette, something that has been repeatedly used (for instance in Your Mother and Mine) when a story doesn’t quite match reality.

Peridot:

Peridots relationship with Lapis was stifling. In my opinion this came partly from the fact that she had no idea how to support someone like Lapis, and partly from the fact that, during conflict, she assumes she’s the one in the wrong.

During her ‘redemption arc’ she was the main source of conflict, due to (generally out of ignorance) saying hurtful things to the Crystal Gems. She spent a lot of time being taught the correct way to behave. Before the revelation that Rose was Pink Diamond she never saw conflict between the Crystal Gems and may have assumed it had only happened because of her ignorance. If this is the case then the next step for Peridot is trusting her feelings and realising that sometimes other people make mistakes too.

Jasper:

There’s a lot of story potential for Jasper, from her origins in the Beta Kindergarten to the revelation that the Gem who took everything from her and her beloved Diamond were the same person. The cast system she absolutely believed in is now suddenly gone and she’s suddenly got nothing to fight and therefore, no purpose. Does Jasper even know that the Famethyst are still alive and at the zoo? Then there’s her whole negative experience with fusions to consider, along with the negative way she views herself.

Nephrite:

I’ve already made a post about Nephrite and what I believe to be her backstory so I’ll just write a summary here: Nephrite was considered something of a failure on Homeworld and, despite being persistent believes that she can do nothing right. If I’m right then she story will likely be about her, not only dealing with the trauma of corruption, but learning to believe in herself. It could also possibly give us information on how planets are scouted out.

Rhodonite and the Rutile Twins:

Out of all the off colours Rhodonite is the one who seems the least comfortable with her existence, ranging from telling Garnet that they should all be ashamed to occasionally correcting herself when she starts to talk about herself as one person instead of two. The Rutile Twins self loathing seems to be a little more subtle but they seem to have a similar dislike of their body as Amethyst and Peridot once had.

Jade and the Zircons:

Last seen poofed by Yellow Diamond we don’t know where they are or what happened to them.

Lars and Sadie:

What’s going to happen now Lars is back home. Both he and Sadie have grown as more independent people during his absence, will they still be able to connect with each other or have they grown apart?

The Aftermath:

Pearls:

While the cast system has been destroyed and all the gems are now no longer obliged to fall into their specific rolls, are the Pearls free? They are treated as objects by Homeworld and, as such, the Diamonds may have not mentally included them in the liberation. Even if they were included how willing would members of the elite be to give up their Pearls? In fact, if the theory about Rose accidentally breaking her Pearl is true, can Pearls even be given their freedom?

Former Corrupted Gems:

Did any of the gems go back to Homeworld with the Diamonds, and if so how many? Either way that’s a lot of gems who now have to find a place to live. Given Homeworlds mentality towards off colours how are they all going to cope with the fact that, with their new appearance, that is basically what they have become.

Homeworlds Off Colours:

As we’ve seen from Lars’s crew among others, the conform or die oppression the Homeworld off colours have faced have left them with a lot of issues. Even ‘acceptable’ off colours like Peridot were left feeling resentful towards themselves after being dressed up with lim enhancers to look like ‘real’ gems. Homeworlds mentality will not have changed in one go and there will be those who remain hidden out of fear, or out of a refusal to accept themselves. There may also be those who are (rightfully) angry about their oppression and want revenge for how they’ve been made to live.

The Former Elites:

Now we reach those I consider most likely to be the future antagonist of Steven Universe. While there will doubtless be elite gems who embrace the change there will be those who do not. Those like Aquamarine, who like their power over others and aren’t willing to let it go. A lot of people think the Gem shown in the film trailer is Morganite, the former owner of Rhodonite’s components, and if that’s the case, the deconstruction of the cast system, along with her views on thing like cross gem fusion would give her a motivation to start (or at least join) a revolution.

Middle and Lower Class Gems:

Gems who are not members of the elite, particularly low class ones like Pearls and Rubies, have problems regarding their own individuality and desires. They’ve always been treated as one of many identical and indistinguishable copies. As we’ve seen from both Ruby and Pearl, the affect of Homeworld on a gems individually can take a long time to lose its hold.

Then there are the gems like Holly Blue Agate, who have spent their lives sucking up to those above them and kicking those below. How will they cope with the changes? If there is a revolution I can see at least some of them joining in an attempt to get more power for themselves.

I can also see some lower class gems deciding to join, either in an attempt to secure some of the power that had been denied to them, or out of fear of freedom.

1K notes · View notes

nexstage · 5 years ago

Text

LIMBO SILVAM - EPILOGUE (1/2)

Inside the Beach House, everything and everyone were silent. Pearl was drying the dishes with a somber expression, Amethyst, sat in one of the seats in front of the kitchen island, played with her hair bitterly, and Connie was on the sofa looking at her sword, red and puffy eyes trying to holding back more tears. At her left was a gemstone placed over a pillow: Peridot's gemstone.

There was also Lion who watched intently the little gem in her comatose condition like waiting for a signal to act.

If silence had a name, it would be unbearable or hell. Utter, endless hell. The tension between the members of the Crystal Gems could be noticed even for the most oblivious individual in the whole world. Though that didn't matter not the fact that no one in the Beach House had the mood or the guts to 'break the ice' with a single comment. However, what could they say after the torment they were put through?

Amethyst sighed, fed up with the uncertainty, and looked at Pearl and Connie. Both her friends were too immersed in their own way of grief that it seemed they had forgotten the only person who was in the shadows. "Hey," she started but no one listened "Hey, guys" Amethyst was met with the same silence.

Irritated and with her patience to her limit, she resorted to her best tactic. A very high whistle took them by surprise, Pearl caught one of the plates she was drying before it broke into pieces and Connie accidentally dropped her sword to the floor.

"Amethyst, what the heck?!" the veteran gem glared at the quartz "Why did you do that?!"

"Because we're wasting time, P!"

"Wasting time...with what?" Connie asked, her voice a bit hoarse due to the crying. She coughed a bit to clear it. "What do you mean?"

"What are we going to do with Peridot once she wakes up?" Pearl caught the meaning of Amethyst's question faster than Connie and grimaced, trying to think a good answer. "Well..." hesitation stopped her from a moment before continuing "Obviously, we're going to check on her. Verify if she can remember what happened after she was poofed... And cracked... Almost killed..." the last thing was said in a trembling whisper "Then when we're sure her memories are intact, we'll tell her the truth".

"Really, Pearl? Like, for real?" Amethyst sent her the best, most unimpressed stare the old gem had seen in her quasi-immortal life "You're the smartest gem I've known, and this is your best shot?"

"Amethyst, I understand your reservations about my methods but, what can we do? There is no option for Peridot"

"There IS one and that is not waking up. Ever"

"You can't be serious, Amethyst!" Connie yelled outraged and approached the quartz while glaring at her "Have you forgotten that Steven is still in the hospital waiting for an answer about Peridot's condition? Hoping for her to stay in a coma forever is too cruel! Steven can't lose someone else!"

"Well, what's your plan then?!" losing her temper, Amethyst sat up from her seat of the kitchen island and glared at Connie as intensely as the girl "Are we going to tell Peridot 'Hey P-Dot, glad you're awake. Remember that crazy gem, Spinel, who wanted to poison Earth with a giant injector and tried to kill us all? Well, you and Lapis really got into serious trouble with her and almost got crashed, except that you got lucky and Lapis is a bunch of shards inside a bubble. Anyway, want some consolation cookies?'. Do you really expect anyone to say that?! Even after we saw how heartbroken Steven was when we told him?!"

"Ok, enough, both of you!" Pearl put herself in the middle to stop a fight between the pair and pinched the bridge of her nose. Sighing heavily, she gazed at them "Look, this is a compromising situation and there is no way out of it unless we are honest with Peridot. Praying for an endless coma to save everyone from giving the bad news isn't possible and to top it all, it's even selfish"

"How can that be selfish if Peridot is going to suffer again, P?! Should I remind you that Lapis left her homeless and depressed and now is unable to come back like the last time?!" Pearl glared at her as if ordering her to not lose her temper, but Amethyst looked away angrily while crossing her arms. The purple quartz wasn't a fan of Lapis, and her opinion of the blue gem went to total disapproval after Steven told her about Lapis and Peridot's disagreement that ended up with the first one taking the barn to space while the second one was left sad and lonely.

Despite Lapis' sudden return to Earth and her saving them from Blue Diamond when she crashed Ruby and Sapphire's wedding, Amethyst was still wary with the ex terraformer.

"That incident is something between those two, Amethyst. If they've talked things through, fine, if not, it's up to them. We can't mix something from the past with what's happening now"

"Still, it's better if we spared her from more hurt feelings. We have lost too much thanks to Mrs. Revenge Noodle Gem who wanted to give Earth a piece of her mind"

"What we need right now is to plan the best way to deliver the news, Amethyst. We're her friends" Connie intervened after ordering her thoughts while still holding back the tears "Everyone here is in the same position as you because no one can be as close to Lapis like Peridot, Bismuth or Steven. Besides, what if she finds out about Lapis' demise on her own? It's not like it's impossible for someone to discover a gem or her remnants inside a bubble hidden in a secret place! I mean, Steven could find Bismuth and discover what happened to her, and Peridot is too smart for her own good!"

"That was luck. Pure luck and Lion was living with us. But anyway, what do YOU expect us to tell her? No matter if we are too careful or go straight to the point, nothing will save Peridot from the heartbreak!"

"She isn't the only one!!" Connie cried, anguished tears finally running down her cheeks "I. Was. There!! I was there when I saw Lapis' gemstone shatter. I-I-I was so goddamn close t-to... The fountain was in front of me, just some steps and she would be healed and safe... But... I wasn't fast enough. She broke into p-pieces in my own hands. I can still hear the crack, see myself trying to put her back together just to--"

Pearl immediately hugged her close to her chest and the girl cried, holding tight on the gem she considered a second mother.

For the veteran gem to see her apprentice falling apart like that, it tortured her mercilessly. No one had any idea of how to approach Peridot with the fact that the gem she was closest to died after both were defeated by Spinel. Connie was right that only Steven, Peridot and Bismuth -at some extent- were close to Lapis, and she and the blue gem had a rocky history between them concerning the mirror and Pearl storing her inside her gem without checking if the object was gem-powered or if a gem was imprisoned in it. However, that didn't stop her from being horrified and saddened by Lapis' shattering.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only concern. Spinel and her reasons to destroy Earth with them in it were the second priority which she didn't want anything to do with. Despite having defeated her, Pearl couldn't grasp in her mind -full of good and conflicting memories of Pink- how the deceased Diamond could have been so cruel, thoughtless and self-centered to abandon Spinel while deceiving her with a 'waiting game'. Advanced equations or building a robot were tasks Pearl could do easily; understanding Pink at all, that was another story.

And to make it worse, they have suffered because of another careless decision of her. Steven had to fix another mistake that even took one of his friends' life. She could get that Pink needed to grow up and prove herself to the Diamonds back then, that running a colony required too much time and work to spare in other activities or fun, that her interests and Spinel's were completely different, but just look at what her lack of guts has caused!

She could've left Spinel with the Peebles in her palace on Homeworld or tell her the truth kindly that they were growing apart, heck, put her in charge to take care of the garden with the aid of some gems. She could have done something better, anything!

But no!

Pink just played with Spinel's head and prayed at everyone's backs that this never 'bit her in the butt' as humans said. Technically, it didn't blow up in her face but it did with Steven's. Pearl just hoped her little boy could heal appropriately and not be burdened by more of his mother's screwups.

"I'm sorry" Connie and Amethyst glanced at the thin gem who lowered her head in shame "I know I didn't cause this mess, but... But if I had known Pink was going to left Spinel, if I had known the abandonment was going to break Spinel mentally, I would've tried to stop Pink or tell her to take another course of action. If I had acted, things would be different now. Again, I failed to change the future for the better"

"Come on, P! Don't be ridiculous!" Amethyst punched her in the arm, not to start a fight but because it was her way right now to give comfort "You can be annoying sometimes, but your heart is where your friends are! That's why you're thousands of times much better than Pink. You have grown, you changed, you're the best! But her? She cheated and lied to get her way! Sure, Rose, Pink, -whoever she was- played a part in saving the Earth and if it weren't for her, we wouldn't have Steven, but if it weren't for YOU, the Crystal Gems would've never existed. I mean, you were the one with the idea of pretending to be another gem, and that led to both of you to explore the planet, fight for it and then for the gems who wanted to be free, dude! Besides, YOU are part of the heart of the Crystal Gems, and then Garnet, and me, Steven, Greg, Lion, Connie, Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, and the gems we healed from corruption and live in Little Homeworld, but not Pink. She may have tried, but she didn't try enough. Not like you, Pearl. So, stop that bullshit about feeling guilty for someone else's mistake!"

"She's right, Pearl. You've done so many great things, heck, you're like a second mother to me. Besides, don't take offense of this, but even if you'd tried to convince Pink to talk with Spinel or to leave her in Homeworld where she would be with other gems, I doubt Steven's mom had listened. She didn’t stop to consider the consequences of faking her shattering after all" Connie rubbed at her teary eyes, her face becoming more serious "I don't know what to feel anymore, but that doesn't mean we have to fight each other like moments ago. Peridot will need us more than ever when she knows about Lapis. We have to tell her the truth and give her our support. And even if we'll never have the chance to get to know Lapis better, at least we will pay her our respects while taking care of Peridot. It's what she had wanted us to do. It's the right thing to do. For Lapis, for Peridot and especially for Steven"

"Yeah, you know, even when I never liked her that much, even less when P-Dot was all alone after she left, I could see how much those two were meant for each other. Sure, maybe I can't see it that well because I'm more defensive on Peridot's side, she's my friend after all, but I know there was something more than a closeness between them. But once Peridot wakes up, it'll be gone"

"And that's where Spinel didn't have luck enough to heal" Pearl explained though the others didn't get it at first "Peridot has all of us. Spinel only had Pink, but when she abandoned her, there was no one she could turn to for comfort and hope. Losing Lapis in this way, I can't imagine the devastation in Peridot's face, but at least she won't be alone. So, no matter how we approach her with the news, we'll never leave her side"

Amethyst and Connie nodded determinedly and joined hands with Pearl in silent camaraderie and solidarity.

The sound of the warp pad being used startled them, Garnet's silhouette visible despite the blinding light, then the stoic gem got out of the warp pad, a scowl on her face. Pearl gulped a bit and separated from the other two to talk with her comrade despite the nervousness "Glad you're ok, Garnet... How'd it go?" She asked, her voice almost shaking.

"Really. Exhausting" she hissed, her teeth were gritted strongly, barely containing the urges to punch something or yell. Whenever there was too much frustration to deal with, Ruby made herself noticeable via angry growls and tense seriousness. The fusion massaged her temples to alleviate herself from the high-level stress and exhale a big sigh "We have 5 minutes before Peridot reforms so, I'll be quick. Spinel's new prison in Homeworld will take some preparations, the Diamonds are still in disbelief about what had happened to her and what she'd done, but they at least understood that Spinel is a huge danger to Steven as long as she is free so they'll take care of her while she's still in the bubble until the prison is finished"

"Wait a second, some preparations?" Pearl was the first talking before the others intervened, "What do you mean by that? Garnet, it has been two weeks since the attack and people are still paranoid about another gem wanting to destroy the planet. I know this is going too far but Spinel is seriously obsessed with her senseless revenge, she needs to be shattered"

"But what about Steven?" Connie asked concerned. Shattering was a quick option that could save them from more work, but her best friend would never agree "Are we going to lie to him if he wants to know what we did with Spinel? Even if she deserves that punishment, he will be against that idea"

"Yeah! 'Sides if the Diamonds think they can replace Pink with Spinel and keep her in check by putting her on a royal pedestal then screw them! They'll make it worse and Spinel might escape and try to kill us again!"

The discussion went on and on, too caught up in finding out what to do with the Diamonds' sudden affection towards the homicidal gem and the repercussions of telling Peridot about Lapis' demise that they didn't notice Peridot's reformation until Lion growled at them.

"Shit! She's coming back!" The four Crystal Gems saw her comrade's light projection getting out of the gemstone and then the little gem plopped on the ground, dizzy and confused.

"Ugh... My head... What happened?"

Suddenly, she was engulfed in a bear hug by Connie and Amethyst while Pearl and Garnet watched from behind. Peridot's appearance had changed: her visor now had the shape of the upper body of the star; she was wearing a mix of boots and sandals, both brown with some golden lines decorating them and a jacket of three tones of green with the Crystal Gem's symbol emblazoned in the middle of it; her hair didn't have her classic triangular style anymore but a star style, complementing with the visor.

"Wow, dude, you look awesome!" Amethyst's compliment broke her train of thought. With a single look at herself, Peridot gasped amazed at her new appearance modifiers "That's what I am talking about! This is how I, the unbeatable ruler of the skies Peridot, should look in front of her enemies!... Still, Ummm, guys do you know what happened? Because there is only one way I could change my appearance and that is by being poofed"

Her friends' joy for having her back was quickly replaced by uncertainty and concern. Before she could ask what was wrong Connie was the first one speaking "Peridot, what's the last thing you remember?"

"What do you mean? Wait... Are you implying I was poofed during a mission or an accident and brought here?"

Pearl looked at Garnet as if asking her if her future vision had some plan B to help the little gem to recover her memories. The fusion decided to take action and approached her comrade whose face had turned into a pensive frown while searching in her confused mind.

"It seems that what she had done to you have shocked you to the point of not recalling anything" Peridot glanced at Garnet and when she opened her mouth, the taller gem stopped her raising a hand to explain herself "You mentioned your suspicions of being poofed during a mission. They were right, you indeed were poofed while protecting Beach City from a gem. Peridot, does the name Spinel sound familiar to you?"

The former technician pronounced that name silently, the core of her gemstone was tingling with the sole mention of Spinel. However, her mental repertoire was useless in giving her the information she wanted. Images ran through her mind with such velocity it was difficult to process what they meant and the collage of sounds and voices didn't seem to have an end.

Then a headache. Oh how loving! Now she had to deal with that!

"Peridot... Can't you remember anything?" Connie's tone of voice was a mix of concerned and pleading, but right now it grated her nerves. Since when human children sounded so annoying?!

"Shhhhh! I'm trying to concentrate!" Peridot hissed. Closing her eyes, she delved in the deepness of her memories just to find... Nothing. A complete mess.

"Ugh! This is useless! I kind of have the answers at the tip of my tongue but they don't come any closer!"

Putting a hand on her shoulder, Pearl stopped the distressed Crystal Gem before she got more frustrated "It's alright, Peridot. Maybe we can find another way to revive your memories without you fainting for the exhaustion"

"More like going insane for the headache" the little gem mumbled angrily.

"But, anyway, Garnet, you said a Spinel attacked Beach City right? I have read about that kind of gem: they're jesters, entertainers. Not warriors or weapon-experts gems. So, why one would want to invade Earth?"

"It was for very personal reasons" Pearl intervened, shame and anger painted on her facial features.

Peridot started formulating many theories around that. What kind of personal reason would a Spinel have to attack them? Was it because of the new statu quo of Era 3? That might be, after all, now with the Diamonds out of leadership and all the gems being freed, there was more space for new purposes, but that also meant that many gems would feel lost and angry for their sole job to be questioned and for some of them to get revenge at the responsible for those changes. Wait! If that was true, that means Steven was the target and he wasn't in the Beach House. Where was he?!

"Where is Steven?" that question surprised the rest of the group, and strangely enough, she perceived some relief in their eyes but didn't have time to ponder about the source of their reaction "Where is he? Is he ok?"

"Hospital" Garnet's response got her attention though not in the way she wanted "He is recovering at the hospital. Let's go, he needs to see you"

"Garnet, wait, our only way to get there is by Lion and hospitals don't allow any animals much less magical ones!" The fusion went to the wireless phone, grabbed it and gave it to Pearl "Call Greg, tell him we're coming to visit with Peridot now reformed. Ask him if there are humans in Steven's room so we can be prepared to go when they're gone."

The veteran gem nodded and dialed to him.

The former technician was left observing everyone's behavior, even feeling a subject of it. Pearl's voice was trembling, her posture rigid but with some freaking-out urges escaping from the seams. Garnet was at her side, the stoic manifestation of leadership though more bitter and somber than any time she had seen her like that. Meanwhile, Connie and Amethyst were looking at her and at each other conspicuously. If there was something she disliked was to be left in the dark. It was much better when data was delivered to her so she could make a plan or get to a conclusion, but Connie and Amethyst weren't helping which irritated a bit. And every time she glanced at her friends, the girl and the quartz looked away as if not knowing how to talk to her. Did they know something Peridot should remember or being informed about but didn't have the guts to tell her? The most concerning thing was Connie's eyes, they were so puffy and red, it must have been related to Steven's condition which worried her more because if the girl had cried that much it meant Steven's life was in peril.

Then an alarming realization crossed her mind, "What happened to that Spinel? Is she still free wreaking havoc?"

Amethyst tensed slightly at the mention of her name, that wasn’t a good signal. "Poofed and bubbled, dude" the quartz said, Peridot sighed internally. So there was no danger or enemy ready to kill Steven. That was good.

"You can't still remember what happened to you?" Peridot tried again, but her mind was as uncooperative as ever.

"Nothing. Ugh! This is such a mess. A Spinel with a vengeful agenda against Steven, him in the hospital, my memories too disorganized and fragmented to make sense, all of you acting so weird around me"

"We're not" Peridot raised an eyebrow not buying that. "Really? You two are sending secret messages by looking at each other and then you glance at me with a sort of pity which I don't like. At all"

"We're just worried about you. You were in a coma for 2 weeks"

TWO WEEKS?!! Was she kidding her?!

Connie froze, Amethyst glared at her for letting that bit of info escape from her mouth, but it didn't matter now that Peridot was digging harder than ever every corner of her mind something to put the images and sounds together so she could remember what happened to her exactly. Protecting Beach City from a revenge-thirst Spinel who tried to kill Steven wasn't context enough for her. A little voice told her that her friends knew more but couldn't explain or were afraid or...

Ugh! Whatever, she needed to know!

However, just when the green mechanic was going to demand answers, Pearl interrupted "Time to go. There are no nurses in Steven's room, so we can use Lion to warp there"

Amethyst shapeshifted into a little monkey, holding onto Pearl's shoulders; Garnet sat on Lion's back after Connie and Pearl, whose appearance was weird with a primate-sized Amethyst on her. "Peridot, time to go" Garnet commanded. The green gem fulfilled the order numbly, her mind too full of many questions and few answers to process correctly what was happening in those moments.

---------------------------

Hospitals were now the bane of existence for Greg. Before he never thought of them unless his son's health was in peril whether for a serious illness or severe injuries and with the dangerous lifestyle Steven had because of his mother's actions, the concerns just grew stronger, despite having the Crystal Gems as Steven's best defense.

Then, with Greg's unhealthy eating habits like hotdogs, donuts and anything with too much sugar or fats, the urgency of going to a hospital became a priority, especially after almost having a heart attack during a family barbecue.

"Dude, even a heavy eater like me knows that too many burgers and other carbo stuff can be the death of you" Amethyst commented when she caught him fighting to breathe and clutching his chest as if it were going to explode.

The purple quartz looked scared, sounded scared, though she tried to lessen the tension in the air with her joke-y tone. Greg asked to not tell this to Steven because that would ruin the fun for him, Amethyst was against that idea but complied with the condition that Greg took better care of himself, that meant fewer snacks and more exercise.

It was a fair deal so he tried hard.

However, now he felt that temptation was going to overtake. The stress and fear were so dense that maybe a snack or two might alleviate those feelings, but Greg refused. His son's condition was more important which just increased his distaste for hospitals.

He couldn't believe this mess was hitting them again, hitting Steven of all people, again!

They should've been rid of Rose's mistakes already, but it seemed that her series of wrongdoings got larger and more infuriating by the second.

He could understand the need to lie and keep secrets because, hey!, he even kept some like his real name, but for Rose to deceive Spinel into playing a 'waiting game' just for her to not deal with the fact of telling the other the truth of them growing apart, and for that to blow up in Steven's face when Spinel found out Rose abandoned her...

It was nauseating. He didn't have the heart to act in that way, though why delving in the past when Rose wasn't there to defend herself or receiving a piece of everyone's mind for putting them, especially Steven, through another hell of her problems.

The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if he really knew his lover.

"I barely know you"

"That's a good thing"

What did Rose mean by that? That she even was aware all her progress and growth were insignificant compared to the cost and it was better being all ignorant about it? Or that thinking of her as a perfect person was the best option despite the obvious consequences of the festering secrets and wounds?

Anyway, that didn't change the outcome: Steven got hurt and had to fix this as any other problem Rose caused.

Just recalling the agonizing pain his son had gone through when he was told one of his friends, Lapis Lazuli, was shattered by Spinel during her revenge tore his heart apart. The anguished weeping, the shaking body, the horrified eyes, it was like seeing another person, no, the embodiment of sorrow taking over Steven.

Greg shook his head, trying to rid of those horrible images and just focus on being there for his boy. The teenager was sleeping a bit easier now that he had been informed Peridot was ok, although the many machines hooked to him make Greg believe his son has a terminal illness.

However, there was no time to grimace at that prospect because suddenly, a warp portal appeared in the middle of the hospital room and Lion got out. In its back were Garnet, Pearl, a monkey-sized Amethyst holding the pale gem's shoulders, Connie and Peridot.

The Pink beast flopped on the floor, exhausted. Steven opened his eyes slowly due to the noise and his eyes sparkled after seeing the green gem. "Peridot! You're alive!"

The former technician was shocked at Steven's appearance. The once confident and strong savior of the universe had terribly pale skin, huge bags decorated his eyes who were a bit red and puffy, many machines were connected to his body and his voice sounded so small and weak. Was this person really Steven?

"Steven, what on stars happened to you?!" Garnet shushed her for talking too loud, Peridot ignored the fusion and ran to be on her friend's side. Connie was the second, being on the right side of Steven's bed, hugging him tightly just to make sure he wouldn't disappear.

"I'm glad you're ok, Peri" For some reason Peridot couldn't explain, the nickname gave her a familiar sensation though she felt it came from someone else "I was so worried about you. I thought you'd never wake up"

"Me being in a coma doesn't matter as much as your condition, Steven! What happened? I mean, the only things the others have told me is that a vengeful Spinel attacked Beach City, I was there protecting it and she poofed me"

"...They didn't tell you?" Steven's eyes directed to the rest of the group with a secret message 'Why you haven't told her?'. Garnet decided to take action before the tension got worse "She still can't remember what happened. But we will show her the proofs and deliver the news"

"News about what?" Everyone except Peridot grimaced or winced at that question. The little gem didn't like the prospect of her friends lying to her or leaving her in the shadows as if she couldn't take some bad news "Come on, guys! This isn't fair! Now Steven is acting weird, there are still details I want to know about Spinel's attack and to top it all, there is bad news which you don't want to tell me! Wait, is it Little Homeworld, isn't it? Is everyone there ok? Are Bismuth and Laz alright?"

"We'll show you, Peridot" Pearl's voice could barely contain the grief "For now, don't push it too much. Your mind needs to be well-rested if you want to process everything that is to come"

The mechanic wasn't satisfied with that response. It sounded like Pearl was pitying her, but if it took patience to get to the bottom of this, then it would have to be whether she liked it or not.

During the 15 minutes of the visit, it was hinted many things concerning Spinel and how Beach City was dealing with all the damage inflicted by her. Sometimes, Steven let a bit of information escape on purpose to help Peridot's memories to resurface just for the little gem to still find her mind a collage-like mess which just left her confused and frustrated.

"You guys should go to Mask Island" Steven suggested, everyone tensed up at that option while Peridot wondered what the island had to do with Spinel and Beach City in ruins. Unless the destructive gem was bubbled and put there so no one has to be burdened by what she had done, but no, it wasn't possible. They had the Temple for storing bubbled gems after all.

"Dude, are you sure about this?" Amethyst hated to admit it but showing Peridot the remnants of her and Lapis' battle against Spinel didn't sound like the best idea. What if it didn't work? What if it was too much and Peridot fell apart on herself?

"You have to. Peridot," the look on Steven's eyes unnerved every immaterial inside of her hard-light body. Whatever it is that happened was serious, at least concerning to her due to how everyone was behaving "I'm so sorry"

Sorry... Sorry for what?

"I don't like the course of this conversation" Both Garnet and Pearl lowered her heads somberly. Connie and Amethyst led Peridot to where Lion was resting so they could come back to the Beach House, not without wishing Steven a good recovery and bid Greg farewell. The group returned to the house, the silence a heavy layer of apprehension and sadness. Before using the warp pad Garnet wanted to check if Peridot's memories were still too fragmented to make sense of them "Peridot, try to remember what was the last thing you heard, felt or saw. Don't push yourself though. Just pick what you think you can understand". The green engineer inhaled and exhaled then closed her eyes and dug deeper than ever. Then freeze frames popped out of nowhere, though they looked pixelated to the point of being unrecognizable. The voices inside her head weren't as overwhelming as before, but now they sounded fragmented and too far away for her to understand what they were talking about. However, Peridot was able to number the people who were speaking. There were Connie, Bismuth, Lapis, herself, but there was also a high-pitched, cruel stranger. Wait, was that Spinel?

"It's still confusing but not so much. It seems that I can recognize some voices, maybe they are part of my memories. Connie, Bismuth, Lapis, even me. There is another one but I don't know her. It must be Spinel"

Garnet's stoic face didn't show any emotion, or that is what Peridot believed. There was a tension barely visible in the fusion's posture as if she was trying to keep herself together. It was pretty worrying, but the green gem didn't have time to ask if Garnet was alright because the fusion spoke "It seems your memories from the time Spinel attacked are coming back, though slowly. I know where to start but I want you to know, Peridot, that if it's too overwhelming for you, we can postpone this until you feel better"

Annoyance and irritation sparked in Peridot's gemstone for a while. She appreciated her friends caring about her and being thoughtful about whatever they were going to tell her, but she was starting to feel pitied by them. As if the former technician didn't have what it takes to face the truths they knew.

#Peridot #Crystal Gems #Greg #Steven Universe #Steven Universe: The Movie #Dark #Angst #Tragedy #connie maheswaran

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