#and I struggled so hard getting motivated and figuring stuff out I'm only now getting to the plan

[jq37]

Seeing you describe your opinion on Wish (the movie itself) as "def do have oh boy" just has me curious now. What is it?

OK, so I let this sit in my inbox for a while because I planned to see Wish and I figured that it would be more fair to wait until I had a full picture of what the movie was before I started talking about it and...yeahhhhhhh having seen it my opinion has not changed. It's just intensified. 

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW (lol, this got past 7k words)

And, fair warning, it's pretty critical so if you don't want to read something critical about this movie then this is your exit.

tl;dr: I think the movie Wish fails at basically everything it sets out to do and it's an absolutely awful 100th Anniversary movie for Disney. 

When I say it fails at everything, I mean EVERYTHING*. I'm going to break this into sections for organizational purposes. 

*The one thing I'll give it a slight pass on is the art style which I don't love but also wasn't like make or break for me. I would have preferred true 2D or a better implementation of the blended 2D/3D style, but if the movie was otherwise of the quality of something like Spiderverse or Puss in Boots, the animation wouldn't have bothered me. Like, I watched S1 of The Dragon Prince with no problem. I can forgive janky animation--and it wasn't even super janky. Just odd. What I can't forgive is literally everything else about the movie. 

Characters

How is this movie so full of characters and yet devoid of characters that matter? There are a million characters in this movie and basically only two of them matter: The King and Asha. But neither of them are compelling in any meaningful way.

There's a lot of to do about the last batch of Disney protags being very same-y in a quirky, all fluff and no substance way and I don't really buy into that. I don't think that Raps, Anna, Moana, and Mirabel are palate swapped carbon copies of each other. They have unique backgrounds and struggles and motivations. I feel like they're all quirky, sure. But they all also have an identity BEYOND being quirky. 

I do NOT get that with Asha. I don't feel like I have a good idea of what makes her tick at all. Like, she's kind. She wants her grandpa to get his wish. She wants to be the King's apprentice so she can help people. The queen (we'll get to her) exposits to us that she cares about people. But being kind isn't in itself an entire personality. The way Mulan is kind (defying the law to spare her father the ravages of war in his old age) isn't the same way as the way Cinderella is kind (making clothes for her mouse friends and protecting them from the cat). Asha just has a generalized want to help people, which is an admirable trait, but doesn't give us much to latch onto. It's so telling to me that in a movie called "Wish" our main character's wish is just, "To have more than just this" And yes, Disney princesses wanting "more" is literally their whole thing, but it's always more specific than that. Mirabel wants to prove herself to her family. Rapunzel wants to experience life beyond her tower. Even Snow White--the Disney princess with the flimsiest story--wants to find her true love. That's a concrete motivation! Asha doesn't feel real to me as a character. It feels like the thing that drives her is that the plot needs to happen and that's it. 

The other important character in the movie is King Magnifico who was supposed to be a return to form for Disney in introducing another classic villain but he just fails at that so hard. The idea that he could stand toe to toe with any of the OGs like Lady Tremaine or Scar or even the latest villains like Dr. Facillier or Mother Gothel is laughable. He just doesn't have any gravitas. And his characterization is so odd. You can tell that they were trying to give him a "reasonable man doing unreasonable things for a good reason” backstory (both because of some images in the film and some stuff in interviews I read) but then they just...don't actually give the backstory? Like, they imply that the backstory exists but I don't remember them going into it at all. Which like, he doesn't NEED a tragic backstory. He can just be doing what he's doing because he's evil. Ursula didn't need a reason to want to rule the seas. She's just a boss bitch and she wants power. I don't need to dissect that any further. BUT if you tell me there’s a reason your villain is doing something, I need to see that reason. I don't understand why they would include that in the movie, just to do nothing with it. 

Beyond that, he's written in such a weird way. Like, despite the "maybe he has a point" angle they seem to want to go with, he's very obviously a self-absorbed ruler--like he'll say things like, "Yeah, I am super handsome" to his wife--which immediately dumps him into the camp villain category. But he's doing the controlling things he does in the movie of his own accord to get people to stick to the status quo he set up. Fine. That's a fine thing for a camp villain to be doing. But then, at a certain point in the movie, he just uses a forbidden magic evil book (which he has for some reason) that just fills him with evil, green magic and makes him 100% unhinged all of a sudden. And that's just...boring? Like, anything interesting you might have been able to do before that point about power and control and how sometimes you make a wrong choice with good intentions is just gone at that point. It sucks because there were a lot of right answers here. You could just make him evil because he's evil. That works. You could have him be seriously convinced that what he's doing is right and be willing to do whatever he needs to do to keep things that way. That works. You could say that he started out trying to be morally upright and then slid into enjoying the praise and control just a bit too much--and I think maybe that's what they were going for. But it does not come across that way. He just seems like a dick to the point where you're kinda questioning how he's pulling any of this off. Asha asks him one question and he flies off the handle. How does everyone not know he's an asshole if it takes so little to fluster him?

So I don't like our main hero or villain. But there are still SO MANY CHARACTERS in this movie. 

You've got Asha's SEVEN FRIENDS. Yes, SEVEN. they're based off of the seven dwarves, which is cute enough but do you know what happens when you give the hero seven sidekick characters? None of them get developed at all and you have to treat them like a unit. Only two of them matter at all--Dahlia (her best friend and the one who actually does more than just make dumb jokes or, worse, nothing at all) and Simon (the one who betrays them--more on that later). There is no story reason for them to have shoved in this many sidekicks. Especially since she also has…

Her animal sidekick, Valentino. Who is a very cute goat until he gets sprinkled with stardust and boom. He can talk. Which immediately made me like him less. Flounder he aint. The whole joke with him is that he's a baby goat with a rich, deep, baritone voice. That's it. Almost every joke he makes is either about that or his butt. Boo. 

Then, there's the Queen--Queen Amaya--who is such a NOTHING character. There's no effort made to build up her relationship with the king so that her flipping on him later has an emotional impact. I have no idea what she cares about or desires. When she shows up, she's basically acting like the king's secretary, which is weird. I don't think that's what a queen does. There's a moment during a later song when she joins the "revolution" and it just has zero impact because again, it's like, I don't know who you are in any significant way! She seems nice, and I would love to live somewhere ruled by someone boring and benign, but that makes for an awful movie character. 

I almost wrote "lastly, there's the star" because I totally forgot about Asha's mom and grandpa. They're in this movie too but even though Asha's whole motivation at the start of the movie is getting her grandpa's wish granted, we never get a good idea of what their relationship is. They have like, one quick scene at the top which tells us nothing, then they're in a crowd scene later, then Asha has dinner with them later the same day and that's it. And, again, we get nothing significant. Compared to something like Mulan where you have a good idea of what Mulan's relationship is with every member of her family by the time the military order comes in or Encanto where between the musical number at the top and the first group scene, you get an entire picture, this is really weak. Again, so weak that I completely forgot that they were even in this movie. 

And NOW lastly, there's the star. Who is like, cute enough but he really makes me annoyed because I've seen the original concepts and they would have been so much more interesting! That's the case for the queen too, so I'll talk about both of them together here. 

I am sorry to inform you if you didn't already know but the queen was originally supposed to be evil too.

She was supposed to be a part of an evil power couple with Magnifico and how dope would that have been? We've never gotten that from Disney before. Imagine! Disney Villain Song Duet! A Hot couples costume for next Halloween! An actual relationship that's developed in this movie! But nope. They unflavor-blasted her into the paper thin, placeholder of a character we have in the movie. 

And the Star went through a couple of concepts. One, was the spirit of her dead grandpa, taking a younger form, which isn't my fave one but it at least would give her a relationship with this person who is supposedly an important person in her life, something we don't have in the movie right now. My favorite alternate concept is that originally, the Star was supposed to be her celestial love interest. And listen, anyone who's followed me for long enough knows that I am a big advocate for platonic relationships and FRONTING platonic relationships. I don't think that a story needs a romantic relationship to be compelling and I think forcing one in almost always makes it worse. But there is NO central relationship in this movie to carry it. Asha has too many friends for any one of them to make a serious impact so it's not a friendship story. Her mom and grandpa are nothing characters, so it's not a family story. She interacts with the star a lot, but that's basically just her talking to herself because the start doesn’t talk. So nothing is really there to latch onto. If they'd decided to go with the romance angle, it would have forced them to focus on at least ONE relationship and it would have been a nice way to throwback to classic Disney movies from the past. Much better than just sticking her with SEVEN WHOLE USELESS FRIENDS. Literally, all they provide is backup vocals in the fight song. Special Dishonorable Mention to Gabo. Man I hate that dude. 

So, to recap this section, Asha's personality is only sketched out in the loosest possible way, King Magnifico is entirely half-baked, and there are so many side characters that no one can form meaningful relationships with each other. And it's really a shame because (1) they very easily could have pared down the cast and (2) very recently Disney put out Encanto which handles a large cast beautifully. There are a ton of Madrigals but I can tell you what the deal of each and every one is. This could have been done well and they fumbled so hard. 

Concept

OK, so next up is the general plot and concept. This story takes place in the city of Rosas which is ruled by King Magnifco. It is supposedly a paradise, but much like a YA dystopian novel, it has a twist: When you turn 18, Magnifico takes your wish away from you and puts in in his wish room with the promise that it might be granted at one of the monthly wish granting ceremonies. Once your wish is taken from you, you are "unburdened" and you're "free" from having to pursue it. You don't even remember what it was. 

There's a kernel of something interesting there. A ruler making his subjects docile, placid zombies that won't challenge him by taking away their ambition? That's interesting. People willingly giving away a part of their heart to dull the pain of trying and failing? Interesting. Someone doing this with no ill intent, but rather genuinely thinking that this half-existence is better than the heartbreak of the alternative? Interesting!

But the actual implementation of this idea? Ughhhhhh. 

So first off, just logistically, Magnifico grants one wish a month more or less (Asha says once a month and in his villain song, he said he granted 14 wishes "last year"). So like, realistically, most of these people have to know their wishes will never be granted, right? Because of like...how math works? Asha acts like it's a big shock when she learns that most wishes won't be granted but like girl...math. 

Secondly, there are two moments that are meant to imply that having your wish taken away turns you into a shell of yourself. Asha's friend (who betrays her) Simon is said to be all sleepy and more boring since he turned 18 and had his wish taken. And then, later in the movie, we see two new residents have their wishes taken, and they look a little disturbed after it happens. But, here's the thing. NO ONE ELSE IN THE MOVIE ACTS LIKE THAT. Asha's mom and grandpa act like normal people. So do all the other characters. It’s not consistent enough to establish that this is what’s on the line. Does taking your wish away make you a robot or not?

And does everyone just have one wish? I know I could fill a full sheet of paper, front and back, with things that matter very dearly to me. If you took away my wish to write for TV someday, that would still leave my wishes to travel the world and get a comic book adaptation of one of my novels and a whole lot of other things! Does taking your main wish away make you lose your ability to form new wishes? Logistically, how does any of this work? And you can't just say, "It's a metaphor. Don't think too hard about it," because there's a scene where the citizens start asking these questions. Like, "What happens if we have a new wish than from when we initially made it?" As if having unnamed side characters ask the questions first will alleviate the need to answer them. It's not lamp shading at that point. You're just being lazy. 

Also, this is more a me thinking about the implications too hard than an actual plot problem but if he's taking the wishes at 18 I feel like a lot of peoples' greatest desire at that stage in their life is, "I want a romantic partner." And if the central conceit of this premise is that once your wish is taken, you stop wanting to pursue it then the city of Rosas is gonna have a population Collapse problem very soon. 

The characters--especially Asha--get so emotional about wishes. It's like they're giving a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic speech every time they talk about it (except MLP has MUCH better writing). It's bizarre to see Asha's mom get her wish back and be like, "Oh my wish. My precious wish!" when she doesn't act any differently than a normal person before or after she has it back (Sidenote: She says this and she's holding the wish ball but we never see what that wish is and that's maddening. Why do I know what the dream of every patron in the Snuggly Duckling is, but they didn't show that? Ridic.) It almost is like, being in contact with a wish ball is a quasi-religious experience that drives the characters’ actions (Asha and the King are both totally enraptured while singing together in the Wish Room), but because we, the audience, are very much not in contact with the wish balls, we're not getting ANY of that. 

Anyway, to recap this section: the central premise of how wishes work and how taking them affects people is not treated consistently or explained well, which makes the stakes feel very undefined and sloppy. 

Pacing

This has to be its own section, because it's the thing that baffled me most when I watched this movie. So, here's the setup. Asha is going to interview for the internship with the king. She wants to help people and she has the secondary motive of wanting to try and get her 100-year-old grandpa's wish granted because he's not getting any younger. 

Here is the entire sequence: Asha is led into the interview by Queen Amaya. Asha is awkward but makes a good enough first impression that Magnifico is moved to show her the wish room (for some reason). They sing a duet about the wishes where they’re both dazzled by the Wish balls. During the song, Asha finds her Grandpa's wish and after the song, she asks him to grant it. He looks at the wish and says while she has good intentions, it's too dangerous to grant--as are most wishes. She asks why not give them back then and he immediately flies off the handle and starts ranting about how HE decides which wishes get granted and what everyone deserves! 

Their first meeting and him showing his true colors happens in the SAME SCENE. It's like 7-10 minutes and they just RUSH through all of that. And it's like, why? Did they really need to get to that dumbass star song (we'll get to that) faster? 

I know that he isn't a twist villain so we don't need to keep the fact that he’s the bad guy under wraps. And, the way the story is structured, she needs to learn what he's doing before she can rebel against him. But it's not gonna be a big, impactful moment if you're rushing from beat to beat like this is an essay that's due in twenty minutes and you started five minutes ago. 

And it really makes you wonder, if Asha can blow the whole lid off this conspiracy within ten minutes of meeting this guy, why is this not happening more often? Between how obviously smarmy the King is, how paltry the wish granting system is, and how easily Asha was able to start asking questions and get him to blow his top (something that happens again later when the citizens start asking question–it literally drives him into his villain song) I don't believe that this wouldn't have happened earlier (Sidenote: Finding out that it HAD happened earlier and that Asha is the latest in a line of failed apprentices who questioned him? More interesting premise). 

So to recap: I have no idea why this movie is paced like this but it's not doing it any favors. 

Humor

Humor is very subjective so you can take this with a huge grain of salt but I think this is a deeply unfunny movie. 

The jokes fall into about three main categories:

(1) Quirky Humor: This is like Asha babbling and tripping over her words. The scene in the trailer where she's like, "Is my face drooping?" is a good example. It's not really a joke but it's clearly an attempt at humor that I don't think meets the mark. It's also in the songs with, for instance, the animals or the King saying slang that doesn't match how they talk or you'd expect them to talk at all and it just feels deeply incongruent, not funny. 

(2) Referential Humor: This is probably what bothered me the most because it was just so so very eye-roll inducing. And listen, I love a good reference. Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time. I don’t begrudge them for putting a few references in their 100th Anniversary movie. But ugh. There is a scene after the king's gone crazy where he's destroying wish bubbles for power and he's like, looking at the wishes and making a quip before he crushes them. And for the second one he goes, "Oh you want a nanny for your kids? Definitely  POPPING this one!" And he might as well have looked at the camera and said, "Get it? Get it?" and it took 6 months off my lifespan. (Sidenote: He he does a direct ref with the first two wish bubbles--Peter Pan and Mary Poppins–and then he just makes a general ref to the concept of true love with the last one and it's like, come on at least rule of threes this if you're gonna do it. Commit to your awful bit!)

(3) Kiddie Humor: This is where things get especially subjective because maybe a little kid would find this stuff really funny and they are a part of the target audience so that's valid. But it doesn't add much substance to the movie. This is like the goat being like, "I found a secret passage with my butt" or leading a chicken choir or singing the line, "So that's where all the balls of gas come from" while sticking his butt in the air--a lot of these have to do with the goat and his butt now that I think about it. 

I think I only laughed at one thing in the movie that was meant to be at least partially funny--when the Queen interrupts the fight song and everyone is like "Oh shit, we're busted!" before she starts singing along. 

So to recap: Sometimes a movie has a weak story but it's super funny and that makes up for it. This is not one of those movies.

Music

This is the one thing I already knew before I watched this movie: The music in this movie is bad. 

Like, fullstop, no qualifications bad. Not bad for a Disney movie. Not bad for this story. Just bad.

I was a little confused by the choice to pick a pop artist instead of someone who specializes in musical theater style music for this project, but a more pop-y musical doesn't automatically mean a worse musical. Sure, maybe it's a weird choice to pay homage to the past 100 years of Disney movies, but it could be good. I love Six the Musical.

But that's the problem. The songs aren't just unfitting. They're not just un-Disney. They're fully BAD. They feel so half-baked and God, I've never been so assaulted by slant rhymes in my life. Like, this bothers me to the point where I have to go through the entire tracklist. I can't just make a blanket statement, I have to show you what I mean:

1) Welcome to Rosas: This whole song sounds like someone listened to “Where you Are” from Moana (the "consider the coconut" song), “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast, and “The Family Madrigal” from Encanto and was like, "I could do that". And then they couldn't. It's not really catchy and it's pretty repetitive. Super forgettable. 

Worst Line: Honestly, this song is too boring to have a worst line. 

2) At All Costs: This is the duet that Asha and Magnifico sing. Before I saw the movie, I thought it was going to be Asha singing about a wish and Magnifico singing to his wife to set up the eventual rift between them but that was before I realized that this movie doesn't believe in relationship building. Some of the movie's worst musical sins are on display here. Turns of phrases that seem like they were written by AI and bizarre syntax. 

Like what does, "You pull me in, like some kind of wind" mean? That's not what wind does. Why would anyone ever say, "Felt this? No, I haven't" instead of "I haven't felt this?" That's so awkward. 

Worst Line: "Leave you here, I don't wanna. I wanna [promise as one does]." My feelings about this line could be a whole other essay, but I've been writing this for 2 hours already so I have to move on. 

3) This Wish: This is the big "I Want" song and it fails on several levels. It fails in comparison to all the songs it’s standing in the shadow of--like the last “I Want” song we got is, I believe, “Waiting on a Miracle” and man! How can you not feel for Mirabel after watching her go through everything she goes through at the start of the movie and it getting topped with her being excluded from the family portrait? You see all the build up (including the implied build up from before the movie started) and you see why it's all bubbled up to the point where she has no choice but to sing about it! With Asha, there isn't a whole lifetime of angst that's bubbling up to make her sing this song. Everything that's happened to her has happened over the hour of like eight hours tops. She meets the king, finds out about the king, realizes the whole system is bad, and then gets into an argument with her family who's drunk the Kool-Aid and doesn't wanna hear what she has to say (which makes no impact on us because we have no idea what their relationship is). That's it. It doesn't feel like the movie has earned the song.

And then with “Waiting for a Miracle” the music itself is plaintive and soaring. Like, I just paused writing to listen to it and I couldn't help but sing along and pour a little of my actual IRL "I Want" energy into it. It's a song that feels very real. “This Wish” isn't any of that. And it's not the actresses' fault! She's pouring her whole heart into it and she consistently does all movie. But the song is just, bland. Like I said, "I want to have more than this" is too weak a hook to hang your whole song on–especially when it’s the song that’s supposed to be the thesis of your whole movie.  

Worst Line: "So I look up at the stars to guide me/And throw caution to every warning sign." That's not a thing people say and also it doesn't mean anything. If anything, it sounds like she's saying that she's being extra cautious at the warning signs! You can't just throw words together haphazardly and expect them to retain their meaning!

4) I'm a Star: This is, imo, the worst song on the whole track. A friend of mine described it as sounding like a song from a preschool science show and that's exactly it, but there's more to it than that. 

First of all, a big part of the reason this song exists is to set up the fact that humans are made of stardust because that's a plot point in the climax. But there didn't need to be a song about that. That would be like if Frozen 2 had a song about how water has memory. But like, OK. If the song was a bop, it wouldn't matter that it was superfluous. Haus of Holbein in Six does NOT need to be there, but I enjoy it! I do NOT enjoy this song however. 

This is something I alluded to earlier, but this soundtrack in general and this song specifically sounds like it's trying to do LMM's schtick but poorly. And I know some people don't like his whole style of music (I personally like it) but love him or hate him, his style without his skill? Awful. The presentation of fun facts in the middle of a fun song makes me think of his "Look it Up" in “Shiny” or "That's true" in “A Winter's Ball”. And there's a part where a turtle (we'll get to the talking animals) sings "See we're all just little nebulae in a nursery/From supernovas now we've grown into our history/We're taking whys right out of mystery, closure/Now we're taking in all the star exposure" And it really sounds like someone doing their best to emulate Lin's flow in things like Mirabel's aside to Mariano in “The Family Madrigal” or any number of songs I could name from Hamilton. But it just falls so flat here. It sounds so preschool and cheesy. And not preschool in a fun way. Backyardigans would never. 

Also, this song is sung by a bunch of talking animals (the Star gives them the ability to talk) and I find them so obnoxious. They say stuff like, "Did we just blow your mind?" with the "boom" sound effect and I hate it. Maybe kids will like them, I dunno. I refuse to get into it further. 

Worst Line: This song completely misuses the word allegory, which I hate, and it rhymes it with "excitatory" which I hate more (and I am saying this as someone who has made peace with the fact that Schwartz rhymes "nasty" with "flabbergasty" in Disenchanted) but there is only one line in this song that can be considered the true worst line because it's my least favorite line in the whole movie. A dumbass, stoner-sounding deer named Bambi (boo) sings, "Ooh, I'm a star! Watch out world, here I are"

They rhyme the word star--not a hard word to rhyme at all--with HERE I ARE. 

I firmly believe someone should go to jail for that. 

5) This is The Thanks I Get?!: This is the much anticipated and extremely disappointing villain song. There's just no gravitas and it's not clever enough to be very fun. It's just kinda bopping along which is eh, kind of fun at best, but like everything else in this movie, doesn't leave an impact. A musical number doesn't have to be obviously sinister like “Be Prepared” or, the holy (unholy?) grail, “Hellfire”, to be impactful. “Mother Knows Best” is bright and filled with false cheer but it still works because we can see the manipulation that Gothel is doing and she spins Raps around in mental circles to keep her docile. This is just an egotistical rant--and not even in a fun, Gaston kind of way! (Sidenote: Gaston is a good example of a villain who is preening and pompous and kind fo campy, but who you see why he’s beloved AND he can be menacing when the scene calls for it). 

Also, it's so full of weird slang that Magnifico doesn't use at any other point in the movie. "Peep the name", "Ungrateful much", "Mmm, are you sure you're not the prob?" It's like he suddenly got possessed by Urban Dictionary. It's bizarre. 

It also comes weirdly late in the movie, which isn't a complaint, just an observation. 

Worst Line: I think "peep the name" is my least fave but, because I already said that, the opening lines of this song are, "I can't help it if mirrors love my face. It's genetics! Yeah, I got these genes from outer space" and that's such a weird thing to say. I got these genes from outer space? He wasn't even there for the star song so what the hell does he mean by that?

6) Knowing What I Know Now: I feel like this is the song that had the most potential. But for all its build, it never builds to anything. It starts and ends so abruptly (which is the case for multiple songs on this list). We don't really get to know any of the characters well except for Asha so them joining the revolution has no impact. The Queen turning on Magnifico really doesn't have much impact. 

(There's a line in this song where a character sings, "I was sweet but now I'm something else" which is so funny because we literally know nothing about her except that she surprises people when she's in a room which, lmao, me too. Fully forgot you were in this movie, girl). 

Worst Line: "The good in him, I've watched it melt". There's technically nothing wrong with this line but I hate it because melting with regard to emotion is never, "Oh, his goodness is melting". It just hits the ear so wrong. You can watch the good in him disappear or fade or vanish. Not melt. Hearts melt. 

There's also a reprise and a credits song but I have talked about the music for too long as is so to sum up, there is not a single song on this list that I will ever purposefully listen to for enjoyment ever again and there are a few lines that I feel calls for someone being forced to go to whatever the musical version of the Hague is to explain themselves. 

MISC

This is just a section for things that annoyed me that didn't fit anywhere else. 

There's a moment where Asha sees Star which is a star that has fallen to earth and is shaped like a star and she's not able to put together than he's a star until she looks up at a ball of yarn that's tangled in the trees and sees that the yarn is shaped like a star...which again, Star is ALSO shaped like a star! Baffling. 

Gabo at one point makes a comment to the effect of, "Wishing on a Star? Grow up Asha, this isn't a fairy tale." And it's like, dude shut up. Your king is a sorcerer. This movie isn't funny enough to pull off that kind of wink to the audience. 

The actual funniest part of the movie is when a talking mouse (not a thing that usually exists in this world) runs onto the Queen's shoulder during a big speech in front of a crowd and not only does no one notice, but she has no stronger reaction than if a messenger was telling her that her dinner was ready. And not in an underreaction for the purposes of a joke way. Like, in a they forgot to write in a reaction for her way. It's so unintentionally hilarious. 

They specifically set this in the real world–off the coast of the Iberan Peninsula–but I didn’t get any of that influence in any significant way here. It could have been any generic island town. Rosas sounds like a Spanish name and “Welcome to Rosas” there is some dancing that looks like traditional Spanish dancing. But on a whole, it feels pretty bland. When I think about studying abroad in Spain, one of the big things I think about are all the moments with food–patatas con bravas, pan con tomatae, paella, and so so much coffee. The only food I remember from this movie are the novelty cookies Dahlia is always baking. Which is wild to me because their last big musical was Encanto and you could feel the cultural influences in every scene and it was seamless. This wouldn’t even bother me if that hadn’t made a point to set it in a specific part of the real world and call it out. 

A lot of the dialogue is super expository in a way that both makes me think the writers think we’re stupid and that they realized at certain points that they forgot to establish things but instead of fixing the script they just shoved in a line. Like, to the first point, there’s a part where Magnifico crushes a wish and it’s very clear that he’s getting a high from it. But instead of letting the moment stand he’s like, “Oh yes. Who knew crushing wishes would feel so good? I must continue to crush wishes so I keep feeling this good feeling,” and it’s like…why did you need to say all of that? Old Power Rangers episodes have their villains monologue less than that!

This movie opens on a storybook–just like Snow White–and it has a voice over of Asha narrating the history of Rosas as the pages flip. Not a bad idea–until you push into the scene and realize she’s telling all of this to…her grandpa? Who is 100 years old and lived through all of this? What? Why not have that scene be a kid flashback and the story is being told to her? Or have her be doing the little kid thing of telling a story to an adult? Either way, that would help establish their relationship which is ostensibly very important to this movie. Or, wild thought, just have her be telling this story to kids! Like Mirabel explaining all the Madrigal gifts in Encanto! Like, if you’re gonna take cues from that movie, at least go all the way so your movie makes sense. 

It’s very unclear how Star’s magic works. It seems like he mostly just gives wildlife the ability to talk. I thought he was just granting wishes but he never does that to any of the humans. And I find it hard to believe that the wish of every animal (and mushroom)  in this movie is just to be able to talk.

Easy Fixes

And all of this is compounded by the fact that this isn’t just any random movie or even any random Disney movie. It’s the *100th ANNIVERSARY*. You only get one of those and this is what they wasted it on. My hopes were really high here! I was expecting a lot of love and care to be put into this one, but it just fell absolutely flat. It feels so rote, so by the numbers, so lacking in care. It feels like the shell of an outline of a movie that relies on the fact that we know what a movie of this sort should be and can fill in the blanks. 

And the worst part? The absolute worst part?

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY EASY MOVIE TO FIX. 

Like, I’m serious. If you watch this movie, you will be able to, off the cuff, name tons of things that would have solved problems without breaking a sweat. 

For instance, just cutting her friend group down from seven to two would have helped immensely. If she, Dahlia, and Simon have a Three Musketeers relationship, then when he betrays her to the king, it actually means something now! 

For a bigger but still obvious change, why not have Asha have an existing relationship with Magnifico? So then this story can be about her losing faith in this relationship she’s had for a long time after she’s seen behind the curtain and become jaded over time and not a 7 minute “Don’t Meet Your Heroes” speedrun.

And making it clear what taking a Wish from a person means–and following through with that portrayal all movie–would all be a game changer. Show that Magnifico’s magical wish granting still leaves the people hollow. Show that Asha is a vibrant, bright person amongst a sea of robotic adults. Show me some worldbuilding! 

Also, just hire a musical theater person to do the music. Seriously I can’t believe I have to say this? How is there not a single good song in this movie? There are DCOMs with more bangers than this. Almost every song in High School Musical is a bop. How are you getting outshone by High School Musical?

And these are just changes that preserve the bulk of the story as is. This movie could have been even better if they’d change the direction to go with some of their scrapped ideas!

This is just a movie that absolutely baffles me. I wouldn’t think it would be possible for a movie with this high of a profile to be this bad. You would think that even accidentally they’d have to get SOMETHING right. But they really don’t. I can’t recommend this movie, even for a fun-bad watch. It’s like eating unsalted saltines while you have dry mouth. Just watch a better movie. And here are three movies I think are more in the spirit of Disney’s 100th anniversary than Wish:

(1) The Princess and the Frog does literally everything that this movie is trying to do but better. You’ve got a movie that used a 2D style in the 3D era. You have integration of cultural elements–in this case New Orleans in the 20s. You have a classic princess story with the classic trappings: romance, villain, fairy godmother. You have a rocking villain song. Hell, you even have a wishing star motif! 

(2) Encanto is the latest Disney movie of the modern era to have that classic Disney magic, imo. It sidesteps a lot of the classic Disney tropes–no princess, no serious romance (Delores and Mariano end up together but it’s very much a side thing), no villain beyond generational trauma–but it still feels musical and magical and full of character and life. It shows that you can keep the big emotions that we expect from Disney even with more modern sensibilities. 

(3) Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time so I’m biased, but I still firmly believe that it stands as a better movie in general and tribute to Disney specifically than Wish. THIS is how you do an homage. The whole plot is a loving roast of all the quirks of classic Disney movies, but it’s also a sincere story that stands on its own. It has references to old movies, but they’re integrated very naturally. And it’s funny enough to get away with things like a character mid-musical number being like, “What the hell is happening? Why is everybody singing?” without it feeling like lazy, “Well that just happened” humor. And the music is so good! 

(A quick note on the music btw: Most of the songs in Enchanted are musical theater style songs but there’s one song near the end called “So Close” which is like a pop ballad. And it totally makes sense why they’d depart from the musical theater style in that moment in context but, even if it was jarring and totally unfitting for the movie, it’s still objectively a strong song. Out of context, it would be a great, sad, romantic song. And if the music in Wish was all like that–good but unfitting–this would confuse me less than it does.)

Anyway, I would shell out a LOT of money for a making of documentary for this movie in the style of the Frozen 2 one because as writer and a fan of a lot of Disney’s past stuff, it is completely beyond my comprehension who a team of accomplished people get together to create the 100th Anniversary project with their vast resources and produce this. It just doesn't feel like a movie with any serious care put into it. Which is separate from quality, btw. I don’t like the movie Raya very much but I think it’s obvious a lot of care went into it and I respect this. Wish feels like a movie that was made to fill some kind of contractual obligation and it makes me sad because I really wanted to like it. 

[elix8r]

i've always known how notorious tumblr is for being such an unrewarding place for writers but i think having this account and being a writer myself experiencing it personally really made me realize that tumblr is rewarding to only the lucky few. i hope i don't make it seem like i've been ungrateful for everyone's support or that i'm looking for sympathy or even that i'm guilting any of you guys but i know i wrote how i had inspo for so many new stuff but after publishing psily it's all disappeared because i realized what is the point of posting all of these when it seems that no one really seems to want it? or atleast care enough and it's kind of been hard as a writer who really enjoys creative writing to continue when i get nothing back. i do this for free and while you guys aren't obligated to anything it's just kinda upsetting when i released like a 20k+ fic and literally hasn't received anything about it. like yes it's gotten over 1k notes but the fact that i haven't recieved ANYTHING other than a couple reblogs is just really making me realize that i no longer feel like i want to post here anymore. i really hope the people who have supported me don't feel slighted by this because truly i have loved all of you that have supported me but i think this place is making my relationship with writing worse. i know i write good and i need to get better with not thinking my writing's worth correlates with the amount of notes or messages i get so until i figure that out i think i am going to part from this blog and i'm so sorry if this is coming out of a left field for you guys but it's something i've struggled with for so long and i think this is just the best decision for me.

but i genuinely want to say thank you so much to those who have helped me have such a fun time here and i hope maybe this will motivate everyone to go interact more with their fav writers because i know no matter how much you think a writer deserves they probably don't get even half of that. but for now at least i think i will say bye to everyone. who knows maybe i'll come back when i feel better about writing but i'm not promising anything cause it's most likely not going to happen. stay safe and once again thanks for everything.

closed.

[jasminerva]

Jasminerva's Updates

Happy New Year everybuddy~!

Just to post a quick update (in case anyone was wondering)!

I'm alive! I've been busy with life, priorities, and "me time", but I am of the living!

I did manage to find time to watch the first two eps of SakaDays - and boy was it ever fun!!! A rushed rush, if you will. Sad we won't get to see Officer Nakase. I hope we get to see Sakamoto fight tooth and nail for Hana-chan's backpack though!!!

Been having trouble with cloud8 motivation! Writing in general, really! The muse, it escapes me, but I won't force it lol. Can't get nothing done if I force myself.

But otherwise on the plate:

cloud8 chapter 5

Gaku NSFW request (just need to make a satisfactory ending)

I have several asks I need to answer - my sincerest apologies for the delay!!! I'll get 'em out soon~ I hope 🙏 wish me luck! orz

A Shinful surprise ;3c

I'm planning on publishing my old stuff on AO3. Thankfully I hoard keep meticulous records. The Lunaescence migration to AO3 will only have post-2015 stuff, and all my stuff is pre-2015 so I may as well! They're all unfinished lmaooo but I figured I'd share. I do want to finish up a couple old projects (both in memoriam my late Tumblr best friend @mochisato).

Hoping 2025 is another fruitful year for me and to all y'all~! Whether it's with your studies or your professional and/or personal goals, I wish you all the love and all the best~!

I would like to write more this year but I'm realistic and happy enough to write what I can, when I can~! (Comments may help lol but I can't force you.)

Womanifest it~! 💅✨

Personal updates under the cut (don't wanna bore you~ but I wanted to share in case you were interested in my excuses for being busy / interested in me tootin' my own horn - gotta share the wins and positive vibes 💪 #empowered women empower women)!

Looking back on 2024

✧ I wrote 21k words in published AO3 SakaDays fanfiction. A few more thousands I'm sure if you include all the Tumblr-only stuff. It's not much, but it's honest work! Considering I just came back to writing after 8 years in July 2024, I'd say I did purdy darn good!

✧ My LinkedIn Rewind (with some deets omitted):

✧ Last year, I did a huge canyon swing by myself! Maybe this year I'll bungee jump or sky dive. Or both.

✧ Was part of several peace forums for Palestine, Sudan, and more. Still shaking my head at the yt people at the table. It's like talking to Trump's nonexistent wall.

✧ I also represented Canada at an international UN conference in New York. Same issues where I'm shaking my head so hard. At least I met some like-frustrated people.

✧ Did 3 talks (2 compensated, 1 global, 1 national). Looking forward to doing more this year!

✧ Took on a new mentee - another woman of colour with huge aspirations!!!

2025 so far

✧ My first policy advocacy letter was selected for International Development Week! I got paid AND they'll publicize it for all to see!!! Hopefully the dang government not only sees it but listens. I did their job laid out all the groundwork for them, so they better!

✧ My new job is about a double income boost. But we'll see what that actually is like after taxes lmao. I don't plan on buying another house, so I'll be buying experiences (travels, food, more food). I've been riding the zero waste / anti-capitalism movement for a few years now, so I'm going to buy minimal merch (I say this now). KonMari that shit.

✧ I'm looking forward to snowballing on my achievements, but not to the point of burnout (again lmaooo god we shall see orz).

Here's to an amazing 2025~! For those who have struggled thus far, I have been there! You got this~! 💪

“It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it, that matters.” - Epictetus

[frenchiefreyed]

random vent ig lmaooo

I've been struggling a lot with motivation. I have been getting myself to do things. Small things. Writing stuff when I'm feeling extremely un-confident in my writing; drawing when I'm feeling extremely un-confident in my art; cleaning my room when, quite frankly, I just REALLY don't feel like cleaning my room. Stuff that seems so small, and seems like I shouldn't be proud of myself, and yet it feels so hard to do in the moment. Is it bad to be proud of myself when I do stuff like that? Does it encourage me to continue only doing small things, or will it motivate me to do bigger things? Damn, and it kinda makes me feel more like shit that I haven't been proud of myself or my work for long enough to figure out the answer to that.

I guess this is my way of writing even when I really don't want to, even when I'm really stressed out about a lot of small things that in 10 years won't mean anything to me. My friends' parents don't listen to them, they ignore them and brush them off, as if they're still 6, but we're all in our early 20s and still trying to learn how to navigate this world. Eventually we'll live on our own away from our parents; eventually this kind of problem won't even be anywhere on my radar. But right now, it makes my world feel like it's crashing down, and I have enough self awareness to feel idiotic about the fact it's sending me into such a state when I know it won't matter soon enough.

I want to write more, and I want to get work out more. I've been a bit more active on writing subreddits and trying to open up to others a bit more, and I plan to post some small writing snippets here at some point. I plan to become more active soon, basically. But I guess that will include a lot of stuff like this, where I'm just kinda shitting out of my brain and presenting it here for whoever to read. It's really scary to lay my work out for others to see, even with some kind words I've gotten from people that have read it. It's given me just that tiny smidgeon of confidence I need to keep trying, and without it I don't know if I'd have that. So thank you, not just to people who are actively reading this but everyone in my past who has given me similar encouragement who might not be part of my life anymore, whether there was some falling out or whether we just drifted apart.

Alright. I feel a little better after writing even this small amount (well, small for me... those who have encountered my work will know I have a tendency to talk a LOT...)

[fireemblems24]

Azure Gleam Ch 13

Alright guys, we're getting close to finishing this thing - like 10 years later, but still here.

MAIN STORY

Ok, guys, the hard battle is over. Dimitri stomping everything is all I have left to do, I hope.

I wonder if I dislike Claude now. He's here and on our side, but I think "ew" and "ugh" when I see him now.

Claude suspects stuff.

Seteth is lecturing Hilda for whining lamo.

Seeing Claude, Rhea, and Dimitri all fight on the same side is cool, even if I find Claude annoying as fuck right now.

I wish Rhea would lead the knights herself, but instead she just gets sidelines so hard in AG. Hopes as a whole tgh.

Oh! No side battles! Not all that mad. Bc that means this'll speed things up a bit lol.

MAP/SIDE BATTLE

Sylvain is admiring Dimitri and Felix and how good of leaders they are. He's hoping he gets his act together soon too lol.

It's cool seeing Byleth and Jeralt around. Rhea's here too. The camp is packed with little blue and yellow dots.

There's a letter from Glenn on the table :(

Seems a bit cheap that Byleth only supports Jeralt and Shez, but can reach A with everyone. Like a cop out.

Honestly, neither of them have a ton of supports (Jeralt or Byleth). A bit bummed, but I guess you get them kind of late. Too bad this game never got a DLC. Byleth/lord supports would've sold that.

ANNETTE & DEDUE B

Annette needs help using Crusher. It's too heavy for her.

Annette thinks she needs to gain weight, but Dedue says that's not everything and is willing to help her out.

He helps her train with a bag of rocks and credits him with the motivation to try.

Dedue hesitates a bit when replying to her though, making Annette curious.

Pretty much a set up for part 2.

ANNETTE & DIMITRI B

Their only support this game.

Annette creates a disaster in the kitchen (or training grounds, unclear). With Dimitri's help. So . . . they tried cooking together? Yeah. That was never going to end well.

Dimitri and Annette both blame themselves. Dimitri "wins" though.

Dimitri wishes he were better with magic, but it runs in the family. He wanted to be a mage when he was younger.

"An old friend of mine would give magic demonstrations." - probably Edelgard?

Annette is willing to help Dimitri learn magic. She wants to get better at teaching. Dimitri really wishes he could learn magic.

Annette really wants to be a teacher.

She encourages him not to hold back. I think he made another explosion. Poor Annette has her work cut out for her lol.

INGRID & MARIANNE B

Horse girls final support.

Ingrid's been trying to figure out what her horse is thinking/wants based on behavior but is struggling.

Unlike Marianne, but, you know, she has help lol.

Ingrid's horse doesn't want to move again, so Marianne comes to help.

The horse/pegasus doesn't want to go to the battlefield because she's worried about Ingrid (and remembering Scarlet Blaze, that sucks, Fuck SB for killing Ingrid)

Ingrid is getting better connecting with her horse, and now will go get to save her friend.

When Ingrid's leaving, Marianne starts wishing for something but doesn't say what, Ingrid guesses horseback riding together and guesses right.

Ingrid credits to spending time with Marianne and getting to know her.

So Ingrid and Marianne are friends now. Good for both of them.

SHEZ & RODRIGUE A

Rodrigue is looking for a book on mercenaries.

When Shez asks why, Rodrigue skirts around it and Shez calls him out.

After a tough battle with Jeralt and co, Rodrigue wants to read up on mercenaries to make sure he understands their tactics better and avoid potential disaster.

Shez is impressed with Rodrigue for still studying after so long.

Rodrigue says he's not as smart as Gautier or courageous as Lambert, so he has too.

Shez says Rodrigue and Felix are close alike than either would admit - they both always want to improve themselves.

(and that Dimitri and Sylvain are like their dad's too)

Rodrigue still feels he doesn't measure up to the other two though :( But I'm happy Shez had such nice things to say about Rodrigue.

MERCEDES & ASHE B

Ashe turned pale while training. He plays it off as nothing, but Mercedes calls him out.

He got a minor injury, which reminded him of seeing a ghost.

Oh, poor Ashe, Mercedes starts playing 100 questions with him - wanting to know what it was wearing lol.

Ashe tells the story - he went looking for herbs to help his sick brother and saw a ghost in the fog. While running away, he got a similar injury.

Mercedes isn't scared of his tale. She's heard it before. In her tale, it wasn't a ghost though, but a shadow. Making Ashe think he saw his own shadow too.

Now Ashe thinks he lived in fear of his own shadow, lamo.

Ashe is like, you should hear this guy's story, and there's no one there.

But this isn't Ashe pulling on Mercedes, but him thinking he found another ghost because there was never anyone else around, lol.

FELIX & RAPHAEL A

Raphael wants to work out. Felix yells at him for being loud and giving him away.

Felix is boar hunting lamo.

Raphael talks about how Petra taught him a special technique. So now we have a Deer and Lion training, talking about an Eagle.

The boar they're hunting is wounded, but Felix is still weary of it.

Felix failed to hunt a boar before.

Dimitri once hunted so many animals that they couldn't fit them all on the sled lol. Felix struggled to get one.

Raphael gets confused when Felix is talking about boar, if he means a real boar or Dimitri lol.

Raphael wants to help Felix get revenge for the boar that got away.

And he attacks head-on, much to Felix's dismay, but he got it. Felix is a bit stunned it went down so quickly.

Felix admits that maybe working with friends helps sometimes. And Raphael is happy Felix called him friend.

This was actually way more entertaining than I thought it would be (Raphael supports can be . . . you know . . . dull or amusing, this one was amusing)

Plus I love hearing the story of Dimitri being an apex hunter as a child and Felix grumbling off trying to bag his own boar and failing lamo.

RODRIGUE & FELIX A

Rodrigue wants to talk. Felix tried to brush him off. And Rodrigue's like shut up and sit down, boy. But nicely.

He wants to talk because neither know when they'll die and don't want lingering regrets. Which, knowing what happens in Azure Moon . . . :(

Rodrigue apologizes for what he said about Glenn. Which I find a bit stupid because he was a grieving father so . . .

Thankfully, Rodrigue gets to explain his thoughts behind it. Acknowledging Glenn's agency in his decisions too.

Felix denies Glenn's agency and can only get Dimitri to say he caused Glenn to die :(

Rodrigue acknowledges that, but asks Felix what he would've done. Let Dimitri die and run away to save himself or do what Glenn did.

Felix gets angry at the idea that saving your own life is cowardice and that, when the time actually comes with something like that, you don't think - only act. So . . . he walked into Rodrigue's trap lol, who'll say then Glenn acted and choose to act that way.

Felix is such a dunce, saying "we'd both survive." Rodrigue rightly accuses him of wanting it both ways lol.

Felix says he understands Rodrigue's way of thinking, but dislikes Glenn's death being glorified.

Felix apologizes too, for his own bad behavior. For hitting Rodrigue.

Felix can't stand dealing with feelings anymore and leaves lol.

I'm sooooo glad this game let Rodrigue have a voice. It was always obvious to anyone with a shred of media literacy what Rodrigue meant, but Hopes let him spell it out.

DIMITRI & YURI B

Yuri's staring at Dimitri. Same. Same.

Yuri's impressed/confused at how quickly Dimitri blended in.

Dimitri's now thinking about the best way to help the poorest (we stan a good king, guys). It's something he's thought a lot about.

He thought medical facilities or investing more in the church (who do more to help the poor than anyone else in this game) would be best, but being around them made him realize that they should get the chance to take charge of their own "destiny."

He wants rulers to actually listen to what the people need best and actually do it rather than what's best for himself.

Yuri says education for everyone is necessary. Dimitri agrees.

But then Yuri makes the point that people won't care about education if they're starving or homeless. (so really, his earlier goals of building medical facilities where people get free/cheap healthcare isn't too far off).

So Dimitri wants to improve quality of life, then build educational reform on top of that.

But of course Edelgard's warmongering is draining money, so Dimitri can't make lives for the common folk better and needs to end the war fast so he can focus on helping people and not keeping little miss imperialist away.

Yuri says if money's the problem, he can use Yuri who can connect Dimitri to merchants and hitman lol. Dimitri's like "no working evil in my name!" He's also cautious about working with Yuri because he's backstabbed people in the past.

Yuri says he promises to honestly work with Dimitri, even protect him, because working with Dimitri will help his dream come true too. So he believes in Dimitri's leadership and vision.

Dimitri says he's grown to trust Yuri too.

Man, I need a sequel game where Yuri and Dimitri work on improving Faerghus together.

SHEZ & FELIX B

So . . . I had no idea I hadn't seen this support yet. I have their A unlocked for a while now too, though, I'll wait to see it since I'm getting support fatigue at the moment.

They're training. Felix insults Shez's footwork. What a typical Felix support lol.

Shez says she has a lot on her mind. Felix calls her a worthless partner if she's training distracted.

And then explains how Shez can't afford to do that on the battlefield (like a mercenary needs telling that lol).

Shez is surprised how much Felix has a read on her.

Felix wants to know where Shez learned how to fight because it's not like a knife or a mercenary.

Shez had a lot of teachers and just picked up stuff here and there. She doesn't use the playbook that knights or mercs usually use.

Shez says she has her unique style which is to her benefit. Felix wants her to teach him. But Shez thinks it's too reliant on the sword Felix can't use. Felix is like try me.

I can agree or refuse to teach him. Obviously I'm agreeing. (I would totally be an ass if it was character I didn't like lol).

Shez comments on Felix's style too - reacting to the say things are playing out.

Shez thinks she'll get stronger too.

I seriously can't believe I let these two sit at B for so long.

ANNETTE & DEDUE A

Annette comes across Dedue training. She insists he takes a break, but he insists on training still because he's not strong enough.

He feels inadequate because he can't use a hero's relic.

He admits he's jealous that others can use such powerful weapons.

Annette's surprised that he opened up, and appreciates that he opened up around her after he tried to dial back and apologize.

Annette talks about how impressed she is with him - his ability to cook and sow where she can't, and his sheer strength despite not using a relic. She thinks he'd be too good if he could use one lol.

Dedue talks about her strengths too - her optimism and how that lifts everyone up around her. Annette is happy if she can help anyone even a little.

Annette made dinner. The bottom of the pot fell out, but she insists that dinner still tastes great.

Someone tell Annette she's not destined to work in marketing lol.

Dedue still goes to eat dinner after hearing that. Brave man.

BYLETH & JERALT B

Definitely one of the supports I was looking forward too.

Byleth has a lot of blood on his clothing and is trying to wash it out and is failing.

Jeralt says washing blood out is more work than it's worth. Proof that man's never had a period.

Jeralt says Byleth reminds him of Sitri when they first meant. She had the same quiet composure and would rather clean a handkerchief she was cleaning than throw it away.

She never laughed or cried either, like Byleth, not at first at least.

Byleth asks why Jeralt is talking about all this now. Jeralt says he's feeling guilty of the lifestyle he's given Byleth - no home, no friends, always battles.

He says life would be different if Sitri was still alive.

Byleth doesn't regret his life and likes having Jeralt around.

It's nice to learn more about Sitri.

JERALT & SHEZ C

Jeralt comes across Shez fishing. Shez is weary. Jeralt tells Shez to relax, but Shez isn't used to it.

Jeralt is like, we're mercs, life happens, it's not personal.

Shez brings up the beginning where Jeralt's Mercenaries wiped out Shez's old company. Glad they're addressing this.

Shez is still upset about it. Jeralt understands now.

He asks if Shez has a grudge. I can choose yes or no. I'm gonna choose yes. I think this Shez would admit to attachments to other people, plus the conflict is more interesting, I think.

Shez talks about how much she liked that group and shares her goals of defeating the Ashen Demon.

Jeralt's like, you just have to let that go now.

Shez admits she's partly relieved because she couldn't defeat Byleth. Jeralt is like, that means you think you could beat me? Shez is like, well, I'd have to try first.

Then Shez helps Jeralt untangle his fishing string and comments on his lack of dexterity.

Jeralt then apologizes about what happened to Shez's mercenary company, especially since it was just too minor lords spewing.

He says he didn't originally plan on killing them, but she (the old captain) came charging in trying to use Jeralt to make a name for herself.

Shez understands, but still seems regretful.

Def hope I can unlock their A in time to see how this resolved (they don't have a B support).

MAIN BATTLE

No side battles this chapter. Onto the showdown at Ailell. Which means fire ground. Ugh. Gonna make everyone a flier that it makes sense for.

They're run into the Black Eagles. The Emperor's personal force.

Claude is there. Man, I gotta play Three Houses again. Every time I see him I'm like "ugh." I did NOT used to think that way.

Wait, is Edelgard actually here? I thought she was some kind of zombie whatever.

TWSITD is there (or mysterious dark mages). Claude is like "you know these people?"

Man, why is Dimitri trusting Claude. Telling him "don't let your guard down." Dimitri wants Claude about the mages. I wouldn't count on Claude's support if he was the only person left.

Even though this IS the only route where Claude's actions make any sense lol. It's definitely in his best interest to put a stop to the Empire's warmongering.

Arval's like, maybe we can learn something this time!

Arval's not upset if they never learn the truth and promises to be with Shez always regardless.

I gotta defeat Duke Aegir and Edelgard. Interesting that she's actually there.

Ohh, persuade Death Knight. They were setting him up to be here, but I didn't know I could recruit him. Makes way more sense than in Houses where you can't. Not surprised you need Mercedes to do it. I always bring her anyways.

Dimitri took out Ladislava right away lol.

Death Knight showed up. I'm beyond seeing him as a scary opponent though lol.

Mercedes defeated the Death Knight as an NPC. Is that automatic or just funny coincidence?

Aegir and Edelgard ran away. Really wish I could've killed Aegir. Killing Edelgard would stop the war too.

I killed Caspar and Bergliez so fast the dialogue didn't even finish lol. Dimitri too strong. They both ran away. Honestly, couldn't care less about killing this version of Caspar.

Oh, cool cut scene. And, ok, it's cool to see Claude and Dimitri fighting back-to-back.

Claude tells Dimitri to run after Edelgard while he holds off the Empire here. Not sure I trust him at all, but like I said, this is the only route where his choices make any sense.

Dimitri has 74 strength lol. No wonder he kills everything so fast.

Cool to get Jeritza though.

xxx

[flockofdoves]

this post is pretty mopey i started writing it a few days ago and picked up the draft now to finish it bc i still needed to vent some of it out but even if i'm still just really sad about this in general, tonally maybe its a little too much but whatever..

i hate how its going exactly how i expected it would go if i took this route, but that still doesn't stop it from being the only sensible thing i could've done at this point

when i graduated in may i let myself have a couple weeks to just decompress without having to worry about anything, which despite my regrets about how much i left unfinished in school, it felt amazing to have absolutely nothing i needed to be doing for the time being after so many years of constant anxiety and guilt about needing to be more on top of things i was neglecting

then i went into job application mode, and tried to work really hard on putting out applications for more ambitious and aspirational jobs and internships

and that lasted a couple months because i'm just really really really slow with composing writing and i didn't have anything to work off of at that point and every job and internship was so different from the last and a lot of my relevant experience is very hard to parse if i don't put care into unique wording catering to each of those positions

and then i knew money would start being an issue soon so i started trying to balance working on applying to aspirational jobs and jobs i knew i could easily get

but i really dragged my feet with sending out job applications to the types of jobs i knew i would hear back from (well. as long as there was actually an opening lol) because i know from past experiences that managing my chronic illness and pain flare ups gets almost impossible if i have an inconsistent schedule at a physically demanding job through making it hard to sleep and enabling my eating disorder

and even if i can "push through" that for a short amount of time if i desperately need money, i knew if i accepted one of those job offers to wait it out til i got something better i'd end up feeling trapped when applying to better jobs takes so so much time and energy for me even without chronic illness flareups and a job draining me. so it felt pointless to apply to the easiest things to apply to because theyd get back to me and then i'd just be trapped

so i was trying to be picky and just look for stuff i very obviously have experience with but that have consistent schedules or are a little less physically demanding. but even if not to the same extent as the ambitious jobs, those still all required a little bit of a catered resume so that kept taking me so long.

and it is on me and cant be blamed on amorphous issues with composing writing that because i just wasnt excited about those jobs even if they were my best bet, my daily motivation and productivity with sending out stuff became way worse once i switched gears to that so i mostly just had a lot of half finished resumes where i was struggling to figure out the next step in writing and didn't have enough motivation to effectively problem solve that instead of just staring at the page for hours and feeling guilty

and then a bunch of life events came up and changed my routine and made me busy with non-job search stuff and i was just depressed and a little isolated so like nothing got done november-december

and now i just truly had no way to stretch things without a job anymore so once i got back into a routine of applying to jobs in january i ended up applying to a bunch of the exact type of job that' i 's deteriorated my health in the past. and i thought at least by prioritizing full time ones that maybe they'd have a consistent schedule but this one that first got back to me didn't even

and i waited a week to accept the job just in case something better responded but the only things that responded were even worse. and i didn't manage to send out more applications to better things in the mean time because i had another routine shakeup last week where i had to travel out of state for family obligations.

so now here i am and no surprise accepting the job that i knew would drain me and cause flare ups has done exactly that... but i need money so i can't just quit even if its unsustainable. but i don't know how i'm going to manage applying to other stuff when its already so hard for me even when i'm not feeling like this :( and none of this is a surprise at all :(

idk. i get how it happened but it just feels so stupid to have all that stress and money troubles for months over trying to avoid this situation and then i just end up falling back on that anyway. worst of both worlds :((((((

also i just feel so stupid and crazy with how hard job application stuff is for me. i know everyone hates it but i cant tell like what level is just i need to be better at sucking it up vs whats like. genuine issue with composing writing.

i know i can't expect much under capitalism. working is always going to be just barely tolerable in one way or another. but god i just fucking want a job with regular hours that let me eat and sleep regularly and that maybe even doesnt have constant repetitive motions that can cause strain injuries and constant standing. and its so fucking frustrating that i know i have some of the skills and experience wanted for a lot of jobs that have those qualities but because i've gotten that experience in a nontraditional way and am just so bad at this process it feels impossible to ever move beyond food service jobs that want to grind me into even more of a pulp than my previous non-cooperative food service jobs

i'm just really really really sad :(

[dvandom]

Isekai I'm not qualified to write

High concept: an entire rehab/support group is portaled to a fantasy world, and if any of them want to get home they need to figure out a way to get to the planet's moon.

So, right off the bat, I am not really qualified to write about a lot of the issues the cast would be dealing with. And this would definitely be on the darker side, since even if they arrive on a world at (relative) peace, the real struggles are internal.

I figure it'd start in a small enough community that the support group would be kinda mixed. Addiction, PTSD, maybe a few other things. If that's implausible (again, I am Not Qualified), perhaps the portal catches the protagonists while one group is finishing up and another is waiting in the hallway. The main idea would be to explore different kinds of problem.

Despite a fairly large cast for an isekai, the focus would mostly be on two of them. One is seeking help, the other has court-mandated treatment. The first few chapters would follow them through mundane life and its struggles. Both would stay on the Good Guy side, but at least one of the group members would heel turn.

Their facilitator would not arrive with them, so no natural leader or professional support. Either the portal missed the facilitator, or spat them out elsewhere, or the facilitator dies in the first volume (only to be revealed to be alive in the grip of a mid-series boss, rescued only after the group has proven they can do this on their own now).

Fairly early on, a magical purgative would be found that could remove the physical addiction from those who were in rehab for that. But it won't be the end of their problems, because addiction isn't just a chemical thing, it's mental. And there is no magical cure for that, any more than there was in the world they left.

The group would have a variety of useful skills (especially any soldiers there for PTSD), but no "the portal process gave you magic" stuff, this is meant to be a struggle. Perhaps some have magic aptitude, but they'd have to learn the hard way.

At least one of the group would flourish. Their addiction was driven by a crappy life in some way that is not an issue in the new world. Now they're getting enrichment, they're away from their stressors and actually like the new stresses. Anyone in this category may not want to go home, which provides a heel turn motive if the group is told that it's all or nothing on the return ticket.

It's very important that most of the characters have well-defined motives for wanting to get back home, even if this new world seems like a better place. Family's the usual hook, and any oaths taken to the military might be a motive as well. The fantasy world is going to be on the dark and scary side in general, so many of them won't want to stick around either. Some may just never get over the culture shock and be homesick.

[ambrossart]

Hello, first of all, a thousand condolences❤ I hope you feel well and that's fine. If you don't answer my question, why don't you feel well? I think it's normal and answer it if you want when you feel well because it's quite hard to lose a pet that rests. In peace.... I hope I have not failed you in this regard and have not offended you, my question is why do you think that Patrick Hockstetter is so loved by the readers or at least that is what I have noticed in the votes as a character Favorite at least, I'm not just referring to readers but to the girls in the fanfic. Patricio draws the attention of so many girls despite what he does and the least they know that Patrick has done, I don't exclude myself from the equation, the character draws my attention. of Patrick but not because he is handsome or cool not only because of that at least they are interesting as a character I have never read a character in such depth it is as if you need to read more and more about him to dig deeper into that black hole that absorbs you to know more About him, he is out of the ordinary, out of the ordinary and makes you wonder why he is the way he is, why his solipsism in general... everything...

Thank you for checking in on me! ❤️ I wouldn’t say I’m doing well, but I’m dealing with it as best as I can. My husband is struggling more than I am because she was his dog before we met, so I’m just trying to be there for him as much as possible. The house is a lot emptier without her, but we’ll get through it.

Regarding Patrick, I think his looks are a huge and undeniable part of his appeal. Let’s be real, if Patrick looked the way he does in the novel, that boy wouldn’t be getting away with half the shit he does in Paper Men. Even Evelyn has commented on this before. The only reason girls at school don’t find him creepy is because he’s so attractive. And that’s not just limited to his face. It’s everything: his face, his hair, his style, the way he carries himself. The boy stands out. Simple as that.

Then there’s his personality, which only adds to his appeal. Evelyn has described him as “grotesquely charming” and I think that sums up Patrick pretty well. His behavior is disgusting, offensive, and crude, but he goes about it in a way that’s so shockingly candid and, yes, even charming. It’s hard not to get a little flustered with someone so… direct. Patrick does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, whether it’s appropriate or not. He doesn’t mince words and he doesn’t hold back. When Patrick wants someone, he’ll make sure they know about it. A lot of people must find that attractive.

Of course, most of Patrick’s personality is carefully manufactured. He developed it so that people would gradually forget about all the stuff he did as a kid (and it worked), so it's hard to say what his true personality is.

And that brings me to the next aspect of Patrick's appeal. There's a certain aura of mystery and danger that surrounds him. It's hard to tell what he's thinking and what his true motives are. Every time you think you've got him figured out, he flips the switch and does something completely out of character. He's a puzzle covered in red flags, but you still wanna get close to him... because that's the only way to figure him out. And I think right now that's why Evelyn's so attracted to him. She wants to see behind the mask. She wants to see what, if anything, is on the other side of the void.

Unfortunately, this is exactly what Patrick wants. So is Evelyn actually seeing glimpses of the real Patrick? Or is this just another mask?

[idyllic-affections]

Greetings!

Hi, it is I, the person who you (now formerly) know as 🐉Anon! Was quite subtle with my anon moniker wasn't I? Eheh...

 Anyhow, Yeah, so this is me. You may have seen me among the people liking your posts! 

If you wanna, feel free to check out my blog. You… won't see much, save for some reblogs and my atrocious tagging on one of them LOL. I've got plans to post stuff there eventually, just not really sure what I wanna cook up, and the motivation for it also has its way of popping up at inconvenient times (example: I have a part-time job, and motivation tends to pop up then 💀). Okay, that first bit was kind of a lie, I know the kinds of things I wanna post about (those things being mainly OC-related stuff, as well as some fanfiction if I’m able to get myself to actually write my ideas out), I’m just having trouble figuring out where to start. I was thinking I should probably make a sorta “introduction post” before anything else, but I’m still figuring that out, among other things with this whole blog thing. I’m honestly pretty new to this sorta thing, hehe…

But that’s beginning to get off-topic! So anyway, yeah! Happy to join the moot crew, I look forwards to seeings the things you’ve got in planning, and maybe sharing!

As a sorta special something for you, the other moots, and the remaining emoji anons (if they wanna) to participate in, allow me to pose a little query for the community.

What is a fandom that you enjoy very much, but don’t really write for, or simply don’t talk much about for whatever reason?

For me, I’d have to look to my current hyper-fixation (as well as just in general being a childhood fav of mine), Transformers! Where I start with this one? It's kind of hard for me to put into words just how deeply this one in particular has touched me. I've It’s just such a truly incredible franchise with that is packed to the brim with many lovable (and extremely hateable), vibrant characters, and phenomenal stories across the numerous continuities crafted by countless very skilled writers tackling deep and often dark themes, and it honestly just has such a special place in my heart. And hey, the basis of a setting following the struggles of two faction of a race of shapeshifting alien robots and literal eon spanning war does have a certain flair to it, no?

But I’ve rambled on long enough now, haven’t I?

Until next time!

i meant to answer this sooner BUT!!!!!! i am here now!!!! YOU. YOU WERE ONE OF THE "blorbo from my notes" PEOPLE, SOMEONE WHO WAS ALWAYS LIKING MY POSTS HAHA don't worry. you were not the only non-subtle emoji anon LMAO

that is so real and valid, motivation just does pop up at the worst of times. it's happened to me in the middle of standardized tests and other timed events before. it is both a blessing and a curse! introduction posts are a pretty good place to start, i think. but take your time fr it can be hard to figure out where and when to begin!!!

ohh for me, it might very well be voltron: legendary defender, or something of the like! i have a lot of fandoms i just Don't talk about, and there's really no reason why--i just don't. or it never comes up in conversation HAHA i also like gravity falls and good omens, things of that nature. i don't have the attention span to finish supernatural but i was into it for a while! but honestly that is so real, i have similar feelings about vld. i should rewatch it. it was a fundamental, formative experience for me in middle school. this shit is why i'm into hsr /hj........ but it is very dear to me!!!! there is a special place in my heart for the paladins <3

[drac-onion]

Finished P5R

Bunch of words under the cut, honestly I'm just ranting. Figured I'd spare your timelines of a massive wall of text.

Real talk, though. I cried for like 2 hours. From 2/2 all the way to the end. I would cry for a little while, and then stop for a bit. Then I would get to a cutscene or something and the waterworks would start back up again.

Man, I just...6 years ago, I played the original Persona 5. I finished it on May 27th, 2017, a little over a month after it released. I'm kind of impressed as to how I was able to marathon the whole thing in a month while balancing college and work (although I didn't have a whole lot of time dedicated to either at the time, so whatever).

It took me nearly three years to get around to finishing Royal. I got it on launch on PS4, played it for two weeks solid, and then...sort of fell off. I blame quarantine and going a little hard in the paint on playing it every day since I had nothing else better to do, but that doesn't really matter. I was also dealing with quite a bit on my plate at the time. From my car dying (and it being entirely my fault), to losing my job, to...well, I'm not going to make this about that. I could, but I'd be here for ages if I went over everything that's happened in my life.

I just want to say how special this game is to me. The characters, the story, the music, everything just sticks with me. Even after all this time. Even after I dropped the game for three years and picked it back up on PC after transferring my save (worth the money I spent on getting my saves decrypted, if I'm honest), I never stopped loving it. I just...had some other stuff going on. Between Royal coming out and now, since I've finished it, so much has happened. It's wild to think about how much life can change in three years. Hell, how much life can change in the 6 and a half years since I finished the original. So much has happened.

Perhaps it's a little "cringe" to think so fondly of a piece of media like this (enough to shed tears). A piece of fiction. Something, at its very core, not real. Fake. Made up. But there is something about it that's real, and I can't even put it into words. But, you're just going to have to take my word for it. If you know, then you know. If that makes me cringe, then so be it. I think any piece of media can have a message, and I've always found the messages in the games I enjoy motivating. "Time never waits, so find your own meaning to life's struggle, with your heart as your guide", "Be true to yourself, no matter how painful it may be", "Stick to your values, no matter how tough things are, and change the world for the better in your own way", "Once you're at rock bottom, the only way to go is up". I wish I could apply some of these messages in my own life. I suppose the only thing stopping me is me, right? That's how that works.

God, I can feel myself wanting to cry again, but I just don't have any more tears. I think this was the emotional release I've been looking for during the last couple months. Things aren't so good for me right now, and they're about to get a lot worse now that the holidays are coming up. I...don't like this time of year, to put it simply. This will likely come up in my writing in one form or another. (Write what you know, I guess?)

Persona, as a series, has always been so special to me. I hope that the series continues to grow in the best possible way. Can't wait to cry like a bitch when I eventually finish Persona 3 Reload!

Anyway, I had more stuff I wrote here, but I got waaaaaayyyy off track and into some personal places, so I'll stop myself here.

Aaaaahhh...yeah, that one is gonna be rough, even when I know it's coming. Yep.

Well...all that said...my journey with The Phantom Thieves of Hearts isn't over quite yet...I get to ride out yet another journey with these guys...not to mention P5T coming out in around a month. I'm glad to be able to spend more time with these characters. Now, then...

[chill-mcyt-art-reblogs]

💫🌻🌿🍉🎈💞🍭💎🎙️ (feel free to pick and choose!)

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

honestly? Anything that'll let me infodump in response. When I can tell that someone was interested enough to ask a question. *especially* about ongoing fics.

Listen I could never write a mystery because the minute someone asked I'd tell them every plot twist and the bad guy's blood type.

and, of course, I love it when people leave essays in the comments. Like every other author.

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

I struggle with motivation. There's nothing more frustrating than *wanting* to do something, but your brain won't let you. You have you drag yourself kicking and screaming into something you *want* to do.... and after a while, it stops being fun.

The problem is, I really, *really* want to write. I literally think about my stories every single day. But sometimes there's nothing to do but relax, take it off my mind, and try my best the next day.

🌿how does creating make you feel?

it's a high. For writing at least. the rush of doing something I watched thousands of writers do since I was 12 and *I'm doing it.* Me. Little ol' me. *I'm* doing that. Forget kudos and comments and hits, the mere act of writing gives me a rush.

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

It's served different purposes at different time. When I first hit the Rough Medical Times, it gave me something to do while on those long weeks of bedrest. I'm not joking when I say fanfiction saved at the very least my mental health.

Now it's more of a "no matter how bad it gets, you can get out. You can get your happy ending. Nothing's final for you." kind of thing.

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

It changes all right. Depending on the story, my mood, what I read last - anything. Sometimes I feel more poetic, sometimes I feel more rough. I don't really think about it much, but it definitely happens.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

oh boy. I can't choose. I guess it would have to be grammer (for fanfiction only). Because I can read anything that scratches an itch AS LONG AS IT'S READABLE

🍭why did you start writing?

I've always been writing. I guess I just have a hard time finding specifically what I want to see.

💎why is writing important to you?

It's a lifestyle.

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

Published? I guess Sanctuary? Unpublished: the longsuffering untitled Phil-centric fic I'm so excited about

[bloodthreadshears]

Home Adventures: I'm Gonna Need to Pull Out My Spring Cleaning: The Musical! Sheet Music

Ah, yes. Spring is (trying to at a glacial pace) arriving fairly soon. And I've got the itch to do The Big Clean.

I do what I call the big clean twice a year: once in the spring to clear out what got built up over the winter, and in the fall to get ready to close up windows and hunker down. It's a top-to-bottom clean and meant to be my big hurrah.

I started doing this as a way to combat my difficulties with keeping my own room clean. I struggle with keeping things tidy when I have so much to do and it's very easy for me to get overwhelmed with dealing with...that. So I began scheduling it for an entire month to spread things out. Dusting, cleaning my windows, vacuuming out whatever dog fur my late dog Lexie left behind (It's the gift that keeps on giving).

This year is a bit bittersweet. For those who know, Lexie passed away last year and the anniversary of that is coming up. So for the year of 2024 it was very hard for me to do anything but just the motions. I have a ko-fi post about that and won't go into detail here, but a lot has been happening and motivation is hard to come by.

I started already at time of writing this by doing a clear out of all the laundry that has been building up. Laundry for neurodiverse folks is hard. My problem is finding time to do the laundry. I tend to prioritize my mother's over my own so she can get her stuff for the week. In the past, I would take everything to a local 24 hour laundromat and spend a few hours there. I talked about this on bluesky, but I liked going. Why?

I got out of the house, the sounds of the machines was comforting for me, and I got a lot done. At the time, I would budget $60 for coins, soda/snacks, and anything else that came up. And everything got done in one shot. My family would be so frustrated with me. We have a washer at home, so why do that? And it makes sense. I would do it at home, but given the fact things would either sit or Lexie would find it and call it her bed for a time I had to really clean everything. So a speed wash was not gonna cut it. At my childhood home the laundry/boiler room was small. And with other folks needing it and me needing things to just get done I figured it made more sense to just do it all in one shot.

Now that Mama Shears and I are in the current home, our laundry room is much larger. But there are some things I would love to do/have. A folding station is top priority for me. It makes more sense for us to have a station in that room so we can bring things up and put them away. I eventually want to pretty it up so it's not so dreary in there.

But back to my tidying up.

Since moving in, I have repurposed the area rug from the dining room for my room. It's nice, browns and greens to complement the bright walls and my feet don't feel cold in the mornings. And more importantly, it makes cleaning easier.

Before anyone asks, hear me out!

Rugs and carpets are a pain to clean, but when you have dogs it is the perfect magnet. I'd rather vacuum than to have random dust bunnies of fur around.

So vacuuming had to happen. Then the moving of dirty laundry and airing out the room had to happen, as well. Why the airing out? Well, I was moving around and housework always builds up a sweat. And fresh air after months of not being able to was a welcome change. Got the dust out, too.

The main focus right now is to get laundry washed, mended, and put away. Once things warm up it'll be time to swap out my seasonal wardrobes. Some things, like sweaters and certain shirts, will stay. Others will be washed and put away for the next Fall/Winter season. I will give my windows a good cleaning and see if I can repaint the sill. If not, I'll get some mats to keep the dust at bay.

So what are my goals for The Big Clean?

One: Get laundry under control. I want this to be something I do where even if it's small I wash it immediately. I only wear the same five things, so anything close to skin will get a wash and prepped for the next day. I've already moved my laundry basket away from my door to avoid it from becoming a drop zone for stuff.

Two: Dust Everything. I am going to have to get things under control. Mental health was not very good in the last few months, and all I wanted to do is just sleep. I have hurricane lamps that were my grandmother's and they need to be dusted/cleaned. Same with the furniture. I've done myself a favor and put down pretty mats to cover the tops of my night tables/dressers to protect from dust. But I also will have to take some wood polish and furniture wax to them to keep them looking their best.

Three: Take Back My Closet. Since moving in, I've not had time to properly organize my closet the way I want to. I have wanted to make it more my own, but time and money was at a premium. Still kinda is, but I would love to organize it in a way that makes sense to me. And perhaps put in new sliding doors.

Four: Shelves and picture rails. I want to put up shelving so I finally can put up all the books I have collected over the years. And not some flimsy shelving, I want the sturdy floating shelves I had as a kid that were bolted to the wall. There's a lot of opportunity to make it look like a magical Tumblr Attic Loft and I want to put in picture rails so I can hang up my artwork and change it out on a whim. The Shelving is so I can go in and just relax, read, watch TV, or whatever I want when I want to. The picture rails I'll just paint the colors of my wall, but the shelves I want to match my furniture. Bright walls and dark furniture makes the brain go Brr in the best way.

So that's the feasible goals, the ones that may take time would require more money and time. I would LOVE to have a smaller bed to not make the room look so small. I also don't need that big of a bed; just a Full sized one would be enough for me. My current is a queen and it's too big for its own frame. A murphy bed would be awesome, but unfortunately concessions would have to be made. So for now I'm just waiting for the washing machine to finish and get a move on with laundry.

[nameless-sprinkle]

Rant/Vent or idk what

UAAAAAAGH I hate the endless cycle of yes, I PHYSICALLY can do a thing, send a text, answer a call, write on that paper...etc but at the same time I can't, every bone in my body always decides I'll DIE if i ever do such a thing. I know what I gotta do is important, so in order to not distract myself, I will refuse to play games watch youtube...etc until i get that thing done so im not distracted. Issue is then I still can't get myself to do that thing. I'm stuck there staring at my phone or paper with guilt that something so easy, so trivial that most people do regularly is so hard for my stupid ass to figure out. So no, I don't just give up and indulge in entertainment or personal wants to pretend it isn't an issue. I don't do the thing either. I waste away for hours and hours doing nothing the whole day. Sitting there staring at it. No way to motivate myself to make any actions. I type this now as my one break away from this weird cycle to complain about my insignificant struggle to function like a normal person. I know too well if I complained to a parent, I'll be told to just get it over with and to just do it. I know mother has said before that she to struggles and takes hours before doing a call sometimes but the thing is that she evetnually does it. I don't. I know if I complain to my friends I'll get the "Aw man, I feel ya. It's your only way to move forwards in the world though" And I'm not saying anyone is wrong. These are all true. If I wanna move forwards I have to put up with that yucky stuff I don't like. Doesn't matter how quick my heart is beating how hard it is to move how every nerve in my body begs me to rip it out. The ability to just type about it at the very least. Throw it out to the wind where maybe even one or two people may read this and go "yeah" and carry on is fine. I have the benifit of purely being behind a screen and unconnected and unworrying of your opinion. A weak and cowardly way to go about this. Simply not wanting to send a text and then going on a fifty page essay tumblr rant about how I don't want to. Maybe I'm under selling myself, but I feel like I'm taking the easy way out but also putting myself through more suffering at the same time. Maybe I never was meant to be. To succeed. There is no simple sollution. The word part is what if I did give up? Without answering it I'll suddenly lose that chance. I'll get questions on if I heard back from them. What date is schedualed for this? so on and so forth. I don't get it. I can't get it. I wish for some magical accident to come by, maybe my phone dies and oh no guess i missed the time frame to do that thing, its gone now oh well, i'll just find a different thing to apply to and then never get back to.

[lemonellaaaat]

trying to get better at rambling here please bear with me LMAO

okey. so I've had the idea for an oc (and also an entire world) bouncing around my skull for literally YEARS at this point and I got sad that I hadn't done much so!

I've decided to call the story 'Scarred Hands and Battered Hearts' because I think it sounds cool idk (also so I had something to tag it as) I don't really know WHAT I want to do with it yet because as much as I'd love to make it a webcomic or animate bits or do anything, I also know myself and my lack of motivation :'')

anyways I just really like the tagging system here even though I don't really know how to use it effectively for much but I want to use it to be able to ramble about things (like my ocs or aus) and still have it all in one place

none of this is complete/set in stone but here's what I have in my notes app rn

This is kind of an overview of the main character and names and stuff. The basic premise is superhero/supervillain world except the biggest baddest villian is actually a depressed teenager

Also a note: the only reason I even have a deadbane for him is because I started this idea before I picked a new name but after I realized what flavor of transgender I was, and it was really important to me to have a very trans character that doesn't have a new name yet. I don't think I'll ever "reveal" his deadbane or anything because. gross and also transphobia. But I wanted something to flesh out his character and be consistent

I started figuring out a timeline and this is it rn

two notes for this:

1. When I say "see" atoms I imagine it to be similar to when you can see dust in the light. It's something you can definitely see if you look for it, but it's also easily enough to look past

2. "Bird guy" is also "SUPERHERO" I just haven't the faintest idea what I want his name to be yet. He'd be the #1 hero but also just like. A middle-aged guy who genuinely wants the best for people (and struggles with the inevitable corruption with heros)

I want him to have wings,,, and have him do random bird habits like chirping y'know the like :3

My og plan for wren's design was to have him in a plage doctor's mask and thus he is bird aligned and the hero will have to fight his instincts (expecially after seeing how young Wren is)

Eventually I realized I don't fucking know how to draw a plauge doctor's mask (and I still don't) so now he has goggles and a gas mask (both if which I love drawing)

I still want to have the hero compare Wren to a baby bird at some point but I'm not sure how

Side note but Bird hero man is gay!! He's gonna be uselessly pining after a different guy and Wren is going to be a little shit and try to set them up (post bonding arc and while complaining about now understanding romance (he's aroace))

It's insane how much if their dynamic I have planned out without even having figured out one of their names 😭 I fear I'm doomed

Actually another thing. I don't fucking know how big of an explosion splitting a singular atom would cause. I don't know if that's something that's reasonable for a young child to survive.

A lot of the chemistry in this is kind of made up because it's so specific it's hard to research 😭 I may be in two chemistry classes as I type this, but they're not preparing me for this

Uhhhh not really sure if I have much more to say? I'll link his Pinterest which is kind of a mess because there's like. 4 very distinctive styles I have in mind for him and none of them blend well

One being how he'd be dressed, like by his parents. So very fem and covering. Second is how he dressed his self while out, more masc. Third is what he'd wear casually around the house, with no care about it being reveling (for hiding his scars wise I don't remember if I mentioned that) and the fourth would be his villian getup

Also his Spotify playlist (random songs that remind me of his)

I have so many animatics in mind I'm suffering so bad

oh also! The only art I've ever done for this was a ref sheet for Wren but it's bad, old, and not actuate (I hated it from the moment I finished it :/) but I've been working on a new ref for him the last little bit and I'm so excited it looks so cool

I'll try to finish it within the next week or two 🫡

Think the ramble NEEDS to be over now because it's after midnight and I have school tomorrow lol I'm so normal about all of this I think I need to be lobotomized /silly

[goodgirlfuckdoll1]

Hi, I saw your blog whilst I was setting up my Tumblr account after evacuating Twitter, hope your upgrades are going as well as you hoped them to be!

As someone who has accepted themselves as a bimbo myself but is currently very slow with progressing with the transformation (I'm trans MTF so I'm waiting on my boobs to develop naturally before I think about implants despite wanting them (consider it getting a good base before improving on it), I've been unemployed for over 18 months (although I should finally be starting a new job next week), I'm certain my mother won't approve as although she is accepting and supportive of my trans identity - she's not too keen on people who have plastic surgery purely for cosmetic reasons (I sadly still live with my parents, also she's a self-admitted prude), and I have the deadly combination of both Autism and ADHD (although the ADHD is currently undiagnosed) which means I can hyper-fixate on something and want to do something but can't get my mind and body to do something about it) I felt that I might as well ask a question:

I admittedly struggle a lot with - well maybe not motivation but more putting things into action, like I know what I want to do and become but no matter how much I want to act on it I can never bring my stupid neurodivergent ass brain to do the stuff I want to regardless of context, and I really do want to become the bimbo I know I am deep inside, yes I know I am still figuring a lot of stuff out about myself as a person and I have a lot of stuff I do wish to improve about myself not just related to bimbofication. I even know what kind of bimbo I want to be: a nerdy yet plastic and horny bimbo who can loves showing off her body and sexuality and gushing about the stuff she's into but likes to turn her brain off with a c0cks and/or d1ld0's fucking every last one of her holes (although girldick is hot, I would prefer to have a third hole to pleasure myself with). It's just that I can never seem to get done the stuff I want to do in order to fulfil my desire to be a plastic bimbo wh0r3 despite knowing what I want and the steps to get there.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is how were you able to stay determined and proactive towards your goal when you first started bimbofication and do you still do those things now?

Sorry that this feels more like a rant rather than a question, I only have a few people I openly talk about bimbofication to and none of them are IRL, I am part of a few Bimbofication discord servers but there's barely any activity in them and I'm barely ever active on them due to being distracted and more active in other servers.

Anyways, I hope this finds you and your dom well! Best wishes from the UK 🩷🩷🩷!

💞Hi hun..thanks for the note and you felt safe enough to reach out!💞

As a trans bimbo I do think you are on the right track with hormones. I agree with you that practical information on how to be a bimbo is hard to find. I had to research every corner of the internet to find stuff. Tumblr is perfect for bimbos.

How was I able to stay determined and proactive towards my goal of bimbofication in the beginning?

💞 I decided and committed to being a bimbo. I attatched immense pleasure to being a bimbo. Pretty soon it fed itself. I dressed like a bimbo. Acted like a bimbo. Found bimbo hypnosis programming that attatched pleasure to being a bimbo. Once I really comitted and started taking real steps being one, the world responded positively and reinforced my bimbo direction.

2.Do I still do those things now?

💞 Yes I do. Bimbo life is much more pleasureable than my old life. Being a bimbo is a constant evolution. I try new things and some work and some dont. (Like getting a disasterous spray tan) You really must work at it every day even if it is a little piece because it all adds up.

Make a chart and post it somewhere you can see it. Its about developing bimbo habits. It takes 21 days to establish a new habit.

If you need more info on being a bimbo, the Pink Bimbo Academy online is a great reference.

DM if you need anything else baby bimbo! Remember .. Bimbos are made not born!

Much love,

-GGFD1💞

[keefiswhoiam]

August 18 - 2024 Sunday

10:42pm

4/10

Right now I'm just thinking about all the things I "gotta" do to I guess be worthy of the kind of acceptance and love I want. I gotta learn how to drive, I gotta get out more so I can hang out in person with people. I gotta prepare myself to travel to MFF in December. In theory I do want to do all these things, I'm not only motivated by pressure. But I am held back by the pit in my chest that tells me it's all for nothing. Where am I going to be with people in a year? Will anyone I know now still be my friend? Its a dumb question because logically yes, they will be. I don't feel like that though. I'm so tired because I have so little to give but I keep giving and I don't even see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I keep setting myself up for failure, more or less TRYING to fail. Where is my hope? Isn't it kinda brave to face the future with optimism? Or to accept the present moment for what it is? I'm also very tired of thinking about what could be or what I want things to be like. I'm tired of limerence and stuff like that. What about what is real in front of me right now? I think thats where we all find connection. We do not find it in the empty past or the unreal future. Its right NOW. Well Im guilty of thinking too much about the past and the future. Every day I get a little better at noticing that. I think its helping me to figure out who I am because I am me only in this moment. There is no other me. The interactions I have with other people are who they are too. They are not their feelings or their words, only their actions. That says a lot when I take off my funny glasses and see people for who they really are towards me. Then there is no more pretending.

Im tired of fighting for love. It should go without saying that everything in moderation is a good thing. But I fight too much and I'm about ready to collapse. It feels righteous to fight for it, like surely I will earn it this time. But at what cost? Too often it means sacrificing who I am for the sake of the other person's acceptance. I'm sure they wouldn't even want that. Again, whats truly brave is being yourself, especially through adversity. That is rare to find and I think is the sign of a truly strong person and someone who is capable of true love. Thats who I really want to be, myself. Somewhere, somehow, sometime, the right people will see me. I just wonder how long I have to wait. I have to be so patient for that person that will see me as the other half of their world. I do not believe in seeking that out.

Today I worried a lot. I lacked feelings of trust because I struggle with that in general on a deep level. I didn't feel like myself. At some point I had a breakthrough because I knew all this and knew that no matter what, I could not act from this part of me like I do so often. With limited success I directed my attention elsewhere without hiding from how I was feeling. It hurts but it means something. I never ever want to hide from it. That would also feel like I'm denying who I am.

Im finding it hard to know when its best for me to open up and talk about something vs handling it internally because some stuff does not always need to come out. Sometimes that just feeds the cycle.

For a Sunday I didn't do too much relaxing. I tried, I played stuff and watched stuff but it's not rest if I have a lot on my mind and can't focus on or appreciate anything. I feel unready to face tomorrow in my fullest capacity.