#and I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t have to work with kids who accept this as their reality

[katebeckets]

I literally had a 10 year old come into therapy and talk to me about how much she worries about school shootings. About how her mom is literally saving up to buy bulletproof backpacks for her and her siblings. And I can’t say anything reassuring because we both know that it would be a lie. We both know the truth. And the truth is it’s completely reasonable for her to worry and makes perfect sense for her family to be buying bulletproof backpacks. It makes me want to fall to my knees.

Because how is this the world we live in. How does this place exist. A place where you can hear a child talk about fearing for their lives when they go to school but NOT be willing to (as they say) give up your precious second amendment rights in exchange for their comfort and safety. And to then have the audacity to say it’s unethical to terminate a pregnancy, that bringing a new life into this world that refuses to protect it is a privilege. A gift.

I truly cannot comprehend how there are people who believe this wholeheartedly.

[the-great-papyru]

so about those timelines where flowey helped everyone. i feel like there’s some kind of division in people’s minds between those ones, the “good timelines,” and the ones after his first kill, the “bad timelines.”

first off, i really don’t think any of those timelines were “good.” not really good for anyone, especially not good for flowey. the thing about those timelines: we don’t know too much about them, but it’s reasonable to infer that flowey didn’t exactly give others much agency in them. but i’ve already talked about that. point is, he never settled. he gave himself responsibility for everything, and he didn’t let anyone move on until everything was perfect. that’s probably why he got tired. he was bored of wondering “what can i slightly change so that this solution gets slightly better?” he was tired of barely any change but still feeling like he could improve. and because he could, he had to.

the dreemurr parents put a lot of pressure on their kids. “the future of humans and monsters.” “the prince of this world’s future.” they sound rather similar. as a prince, asriel was expected to someday lead monsterkind. he was expected to be like asgore, help his subjects at any cost. considering this, it makes sense that flowey tried over and over to make everyone perfectly happy, until he couldn’t try anymore.

[pepprs]

beaver gnawing on wood noises

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Winter Break | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Sam never considered himself a parent in any capacity. Sure he worked at a school but all that meant was that his clientele were snot-nosed brats, who are the perfect consumers for his on-campus shop. It was a great way to make money and how could he ever be bored when he could be let in on the dramatic inner workings of the student body. Usually he was generally indifferent with the mages he sold to but that was when they were just the selfish mean-spirited boys he dealt with.

“Oh thank you Mister Sam!”

It wasn’t a breath of fresh air to actually have one of the students respect him. It was just weird. Of course, his shadows clearly thought otherwise whispering excitedly about their misadventures to become a new student. It was against his will that he’d heard that they hailed from another world and were sharing the place of a student with a little monster. Now he couldn’t deny it was interesting that they’d united the students without magic. What kind of average human were they to actually force these wild kids to obey without collaring them?

“Do you think (Y/n) will like this? They have been saying how hard it is navigating Ramshackle at night.”

“Hmph do what you want.They should be happy we’re getting them anything.”

“We?”

“Yeah I mean I’m hear anyways I might as well.”

Perhaps it was these first years, that were just opening their horizons to someone new. A lesson he’d seen hundreds of arrogant seniors learn on their internships. That there were plenty of people not proficient in magic and that were prone to be peaceful. Heck, he wondered if they’d act the same with those preppy RSA kids.

“Evening Sam, I was wondering if you could help me.”

“Help you? What a surprise! Usually you’re the one coming to me to offer your help, Azul.”

“Haha very funny. Now what do you think is a good gift for someone you want to like you?”

Nevermind. All of them were losing their minds and it was all over the one they called the prefect. By the time he’d begun to accept that this was a widespread phenomenon he found himself beginning to change as well.

“Hey I just got a shipment of that tuna, Grim likes.”

“Thanks Sam but how did you know he preferred this kind? He always gets so pouty when I guess.”

The Shadows.”A…little bird told me.”

That fact kept him up at night. Specifically because he was wondering why it became a routine for the shadows to return with a full-on report on the prefect’s day before they helped him reload stock. Or why it irked him so much more to know that Crowley had time in the day to spend hours browsing his shop's shelves while the prefect finished a spending sheet the headmaster should be typing. 

Guess that’s why he was so curious about those anticipated weeks.

“Where are you going for the Winter Break?"

You stopped in the middle of the motion of putting the box on it’s shelf. Staring blankly through the opening of the shelf as if you’d find the answer there. Mentally searching you found there was no set answer for this; barely you could recall the time you spent in Epel’s hometown but other than that no one had invited you anywhere. Not yet at least. 

“Yeah hench-(Y/n) where we goin’?” 

Grim’s question reminded you that Sam was waiting. Continuing to put the box in it’s place you stepped away back to the unpacked boxes. 

“I don’t know…I just thought we’d stay here with the faeries like Crowley would want.”

Sam scoffed, “You shouldn’t be worrying about that bird. Is there somewhere you want to go?”

You smiled to yourself, shaking your head; well-aware he was hidden behind a fully stocked shelf. With a nearby box-cutter you opened the box beckoning an annoyed Grim to take it’s contents and put them where they should be. 

“What about you, Sam? Anywhere you want to go?”

The famous redirect. Sam was prepared. While he wasn’t as easy to derail as his older coworkers or as confrontational about it when they did notice he wouldn’t be deterred so easily. 

“Of course once the shop is closed I’m headed back home.”

“Oh where’s that?”

“Porto’bliss, its not the fanciest place but it has it’s moments. If you’d like I wouldn’t mind you coming with.”

The open-ended invitation made your heart swell. A break sounded great but a break without Crowley and his chores sounded lovely. Even better instead of slowly coming to miss your friends on an empty campus you could discover a new place with someone who had your best interests in mind. You’d have to think about it though, wouldn’t want to be hasty in case something really important needed to be done on campus.

“What do you think, Grim?” Sam asked opening a familiar pack of sweets that had the monster beaming.

“That sounds like a great idea! (Y/n) let’s go!”

Peeking from behind your shelf to see Grim dig into the opened bag, Sam mischeviously shrugs when you send him a look.

“I’ll have to think about it.”

_____________________________________________________________

Mozus Trein set a book down with more force then he needed to. His grey eyes daring a glance at the happy facial expression of the prefect lightly petting Lucius. He looks away before you can see where the cat is glaring back at-just as disturbed as his owner. Looking past the professor it’s Grim sleeping on the bookshelf you’d organized minutes ago. Figuring it’s better then him whining about your helping Trein you continue on talking.

“Yeah while I was helping stock with him, he offered we go to Porto’bliss. Have you ever been?”

The professor returned his gaze back to the essay he was grading, lightly coughing into his gloved hand a nice way to hide his grimace.

“Yes my wife and I traveled there for an anniversary. It has a very rustic feel,” he listened to you hum. Quickly adding on,” but we never went back. Mostly on the account that a lot of the…facilities are outdated.”

He fought the triumphant twitch on his small smile practically hearing the disgruntled “Oh” coming from you. The professor felt a slight twinge of guilt exacerbating his experience there. In truth it was only one establishment like that but until you’d go to prove him wrong he’d stand by his experience. 

“But if you’d like a modern, family-filled environment my daughters are joining me at our estate in the Shaftlands. If you’d like to come.”

He adored the unfiltered joy on your face at his offer before it shriveled with that wonderfully loathsome politeness lowering your expectations. “I appreciate that but I wouldn’t want to get in the way. This is the only time your daughters get to see you after all.”

The warm chuckle from the older man had you looking up,” Oh no they’d be overjoyed if you came. They’d adore having someone younger than I around.”

That wast the most polite way he’d thought of masking the real reason they wouldn’t mind. He didn’t dare look at the growing pile of letters from his daughters. Rarely were they inclined to respond to his letters, hoping he’d switch to a more modern medium. But the second his writings started to describe an overworked, otherworldly prefect they began responding in a heartbeat. 

Do they have mother? Have they spoken of one? 

Are you bringing them home? Please say you will! We’d spoil them to bits!

They won’t have to go back will they? A normal school is probably safer then that school!

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPAPA!

PLEASE Papa let’s give (Y/n) a real home!

He was sure he raised his girls right. He really did. He also taught them to be women unafraid of others and determined in every aspect of their life. It begged the question if that determination translated to abducting relocating the prefect in the shoddy abandoned dorm. This was nicer. A peaceful invitation that you could unfortunately decline accept and slowly integrate yourself into the Trein household. 

If he was successful, he’s certain Crewel and now Sam would sneer in his direction. The former would whine argue that his actions would be the opposite of caring for the prefect but he’d disagree. This was caring. Embracing them into a family that not only would be nurturing but would give a support system for their inevitable graduation from Night Raven College. For as much as he…mildly enjoyed teaching such unruly youth a magicless student wouldn’t have many business prospects. Not counting the leering royals you seem to attract. What he was offering was a fall-back, security for you and your cat-like companion. Even Crewel would have to relent this would be much better.

“What do you think Lucius? You okay if we come with?”

“Mrrow.” The purr and fluffy weight leaning into your hand told you exactly what he thought.

Once again you had a lot to think about it. 

“Take your time (Y/n), me and Lucius will be here when the other students leave so you won’t miss saying goodbye to your friends.”

______________________________________________________________

“You’ll be coming with me to the Queendom of Roses of course.”

“What?”

Crewel sighed waiting for the troublesome mutts to leave with the chattery monster turning to you once again.

“I heard you talking about what you’d all be doing during the break. I'm reminding you that I’ll be taking you home…with me.”

Crewel wasn’t embarrassed at all. In face he prided himself on his initiative, earlier in the year he would have broken mirrors with his own bashfullness. Something about expressing any affection to someone who could communicate in the same language as him and return their own form of praise without a wagging tail. It was like highschool all over again. But he was better now, perfect material to guide an overly mature child that needs his guidance. He doesn’t know if he was ready for the ‘f-word’ but if you happened to slip up and call him that after receiving a beautifully wrapped gift with a color scheme that matches the decor. He was just the best wasn’t he.

“Actually Professor Crewel, I’m going to have to decide I’ve gotten a lot of offers and I think it’d be really mean if I didn’t–”

You were still talking but Crewel wasn’t listening. Who in all of Twisted Wonderland would have the gall to overstep the offer only he was worthy enough to give. He couldn’t help rolling his eyes, knowing there quite a few dirty mutts who’d jump at the chance to invite his pure, far-too trusting pup into their dumpheaps…or restricting castles he wasn’t ruling out any of that hungry pack. Still he figured he’d ask.

“Who offered?”

You were cowering a little bit; he must’ve come off incredibly harsh. His bad. 

“Um Sam and Trein—”

“Alright get to lunch and eat this time. I’ll ask your guardpups if you have. If you don't, I'm giving you detention.”

He put his hands on the prefect’s shoulders turning them around to leave the empty classroom.

“But what about your offer? Should we talk about–?”

He pat their head and gave one last shove.

“We’ll decide for you pup. Eat your lunch have a good rest of your day. Pack your bags too I have a feeling a decision will be made by the end of the day.”

He shut the door on your face and you rushed to catch the lunch line.

Guess you wouldn’t have to think at all. Oh well makes things easier for you.

__________________________________________________________

If tension was gasoline Crowley’s office would’ve exploded by now. It just so happened his office was the place Crewel decided to confront his coworkers; the only place private enough to discuss where exactly their prefect was going for this break.

“I asked them first. So they’ll be coming with me.” Trein scowled, “Get your feet off the table and I don’t know if where you’re taking them is family friendly environment.”

Sam joylessly laughed,”Family-friendly? Do you call trying to replace your third child with (Y/n) as a family-friendly environment? Yeah Besides I don’t think they they’ll want to spend anything over a day with people old enough to need a diaper change.”

Lucius swatted a clawful paw into Sam’s exposed ankles, scampering quicker than the chasing  shadows that morphed into talons. Jumping up high and near the window hissing pridefully at the shadows forced to slink nearby. 

His cat’s actions lessened the blow of his words but it didn’t denote what was said. Trein knew that was far from accurate but he knew arguing wouldn’t help. Not with those who needed any kind of evidence for their case but Sam wasn’t who he was most worried about.

“On that note, being with someone so close to their age without any adult supervision would be unwise. Seniority aside I believe I am the best candidate. Not to mention I’d be more than willing to invite their friends a couple towns over.”

Sam’s face was twisted in a snarl, an expression Trein would have used if he couldn’t just glare. 

“You forget I am an adult. I don’t need to be geriatric nanny to know what the kid needs.”

“And I am not aiming to replace them at all. I just know it’d be healthier for them not to be alone in a time like this.”

“Then we’re at an impasse.”

A tense silence took over the room. Trein broke it with the authority who usually held over his fellow teachers,”Then we’ll draw lots.”

Sam and Crewel nodded in agreement, demanding to inspect the elder’s methods–promising there's no chance of cheating.

“Wait!” Vargas had been watching the three of them hurl insults waiting for a good time to remind them he wanted to be counted in the running. 

“What about me? I don’t mind taking them with me!”

Trein didn’t look up from the sticks they chosen and Sam just whistled putting his arms behind his head. Leaving it to Crewel to tell Vargas to ‘quiet down’.

“No one in their right mind is letting you take that pup and force them into some weird training regimen the whole break!”

“But I wasn’t going to–”

Crewel cut him off holding his teaching crop threateningly at the P.E teacher, who dejectedly settled back into his chair. Watching mopily as the three teachers drew lots. Sam pulled first, then Crewel, and finally Trein opened his hand. After comparing the sizes of each of the sticks, the winner was decided. 

The door suddenly burst open in a flur of black feathers and the smell of the cafeteria’s sloppy joe–it was Crowley.

“Halt for I have harrowing news about the prefect!”

They all turned to the headmaster they hardly respected and all looked eagerly for the news. Were they hurt? In another overblot? Abducted by some delusional pup again? They all hurried to the headmaster, eagerly awaiting the crow’s information.

“They-” Sam held the rim of his hat in nervousness.

“--in fact–” Trein had outgrown immature nervous habits, still he allowed his finger to tap impatiently.

“are–” Crewel had enough, easily grabbing Crowley’s collar and shaking him accordingly,”Just say it. CLEARLY.”

The snarl from his already snippy employee made the headmaster gulp. Putting his hands up in defense he stopped dragging it out.

“I’ve already planned to take (Y/n) with me. I wanted them to come on vacation with me.”

Everyone in the room curled their lips in disgust, uncaring that they made the headmaster curl into himself and begin crying into his hands. Sam when looked at by the pouting crow he shrugged, “I’d believe you more if you made up something about forcing them to work off some debt you had.”

Trein huffed,”or forcing them to be your unpaid secretary, full-time.”

Crowley struck a dramatic pose, tears conveniently dried,”But aren’t I so kind? To invite them into my nest and take them under my wings.”

Crewel opened his mouth, planning to insult him once again only to be interrupted by the doors opening once again. Seeing the sweaty and out of breath student of Heartslabyul usually right beside their the prefect.

“Pup? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be helping (Y/n) pack?”

“That’s what I have to talk to you about–” the student with the spade on his cheek was interrupted by a cacophonous sound of thunder rumbling. A quick glance outside pointed to the growing green storm clouds hovering over Ramshackle–the calling card of an unhappy fae.

“Spade, what’s happened?”

Trein’s question had everyone eagerly waiting for the answer from the anxious looking student.

“That cat-guy from RSA took them!”

“What cat-guy?” 

“...Could you mean Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker?”

Deuce snapped his fingers at the name, “Yeah that guy! He took them, their bags, and told everyone they were taking them for the Winter break!”

Deuce could feel a cold sweat trickle from his forehead as the glares and scowls filled the room with a despairful mood. Not that he wasn’t feeling the same but they had much bigger problems than the teachers being on a warpath.

Vargas stood, taking it on himself to get his coworkers to shape up. Not because he was worried their real personalities were coming out but because he knew when it came to tracking time was of the essence. And maybe the prefect would be willing to just choose him if he's the first to save them!

“Alright everyone let’s begin our search at our rival academy. I’m sure they’ll love to know one of their students has kidnapped one of ours.”

Crowley cackled gleefully,”I’d never let them live it down.”

Deuce was pumped about to voice his joy before looking at the storm clouds rumbling closer.

“I’m all for it but maybe we should deal with…that first.” Pointing at the rapidly growing puff of green clouds.

Turns out they’d have a lot to think about before anyone can take you for the break.

Who knew?

[vanessagillings]

I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:  

I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic.  Some people who know me in real life still don’t.  And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM.  I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe?  I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag.  Even so, how could autism describe me?  I was a good student.  I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class.  I can make eye contact…if I must.  And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right?  Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?

If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it.  I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them:  sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak.  It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once. 

So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance.  It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day.  But it shouldn’t be like this.  It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities. 

It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.  This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs.  No two people on the spectrum present in the same way.  And that’s a good thing!  No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.

But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic.  I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway.  I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day.  More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing.  My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.

If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network  autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:

What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz

We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia

Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD

Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom

Neurotribes by Steve Silberman

(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).

Thanks for reading 💛

[lemonlover1110]

Hello! I hope you are doing well 😌 you are my fav writer and I just wanted to to throw out this crazy brainrot request to u bc I am SICK over it

So Florence nightingale syndrome right? Toji is like a professional boxer or whatever something athletic bc he's a fucking beast and he gets hurt, like his leg or something, and you become his at home occupational therapist. So you're like taking care of him and he's getting feelings for you while also being a stubborn ass bc u push him constantly so he can get better. and he's super hesitant to accept his feelings bc he's a Playboy of course.

I'm just picturing this one scene where you're helping him up and he's leaning on you and he says something like "are you sure you can handle me princess?" Idk I'm insane I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭

Pairing: boxer!Toji Fushiguro x f!caregiver!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, frustrated Toji, Florence nightingale syndrome, Toji has an injured leg and is a little bitch for a bit

*This was so fun to work on and now I'm having thinking a little too hard about boxer toji (I'm ovulating) sofjsof enjoy!

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Toji never really thought he’d be dependent on someone, yet now he can’t even take a shower standing up. After an unlucky boxing match, Toji ended up in a cast and crutches. That’s what he gets for not listening to his son who told him it was around time to retire.

“I’m not a fucking skeleton, I’m good in my field. I can do this for a couple more years.” How he wishes he could swallow his fucking words. He thought that after getting the cast off he’d go back to normal, and he’d have no issue with mobility. He shouldn’t have an issue moving his fucking leg again, he’s been moving it for more than thirty years, why should three months of not moving it change much?

Apparently he can’t do anything, which is why he has someone with him all day every day, helping him so he can get better. Toji’s main issue? He gets frustrated when someone tries to help him. 

“Be careful, it’s hot.” You smile at him as you put his dinner in front of him. He has a scowl on his face as you set it down in front of him. He tried to help make dinner but he couldn’t stand for too long. He’s mad, but not at you. He could never be mad at you. 

Toji wasn’t necessarily fond of you when you started working with him; he hates being dependent on someone else, and he knew that he would have to depend on you for pretty much everything. You try to help him though, and he should be more appreciative of you because of it, but in reality he feels like a fucking baby. He’s grown to like you though… A little too much for his liking. 

You leave him to eat, going to wash the dishes since he can’t do the task yet. Perhaps his own bowl and spoon, but not everything that needs to be cleaned. You watch him from the counter, watching his refusal to pick up the spoon and eat the soup you made him. Earlier he was so prideful, telling you that he would help you every step of the way during dinner, and he couldn’t even finish one third of it. You were proud of him regardless.

“It’s really good, Toji! The potatoes you helped peel really added a touch to it.” You’ve gotten close enough to be on a first name basis. You see each other every day, you stay in the same house, of course you’re close enough to talk to each other so casually. It doesn’t mean you should though. You’ve always managed to keep a very professional relationship with patients, but there’s just something about him that makes it hard for you to be normal around him.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking kid.” He says, pushing the bowl of soup away. He’s not hungry anymore. Toji stands up, his hands holding on to the table to support himself before grabbing his crutches. 

“Toji, if you’re not eating it, can you try to bring it over to me, please?” You ask. You know the soup has cooled down, if he spills it, he’ll be fine.

“If you want it, pick it up yourself.” Toji is clearly mad. You don’t take it to heart though, because you know it’s with himself and not you. 

“How about we go to the park tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a nice day out.” You talk to Toji who tries to watch a documentary. He’s not all that interested in what he put on, caring more about what you have to say. He might not show it, and he tries to deny it, but he has the biggest soft spot for you. “We can also get some ice cream, if you’re in the mood!”

“Hey… I’m sorry about earlier. I was just—” It’s hard to get an apology out of him, but sometimes he knows he’s in the wrong and he feels the need to apologize. He doesn’t want you to be mad at him, even though you’re clearly not upset with him. You’re so understanding and patient with him, he feels like he doesn’t deserve that.

“You’re fine, Toji.” You reassure him with a smile, your hand going over his balled up fist. You feel your heart skip a beat as you touch him. You’ve crossed the line past a professional relationship, and you should set some boundaries within yourself– But his other hand goes on top of your own before he brings it up, softly kissing your knuckles. It’s hard to set boundaries when he feels the same way.

“I’m tired.” He tells you, and you stand up to help him get up. Toji usually denies your help, but this time, he has no problem accepting it. You just want the best for him, and there’s some things that he can’t do completely alone. He has to take baby steps. He’s using you for support, and he’s scared that he’s too heavy for you. He asks you, “Are you sure, princess? Can you handle me? I know I’m pretty big.”

“You’re fine. I can handle you.” You reassure him, and you begin to walk to his bedroom. His room was previously on the second floor, but ever since his injury, he’s moved his bedroom to the first floor. You get him to his bedroom, helping him on the bed. You smile at him before saying, “Let me grab your crutches. You left them in the living room, right?”

Before you can walk away, he grabs your sleeve. Toji’s slowly realizing that he can’t fight off the feelings that consume him when you help him, and he’s usually not a fan of them. Toji’s been tied down once before, he certainly doesn’t want that again. But with you, it’s different. He doesn’t mind the idea.

“Will you lay down with me?” He asks, and you suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. You shouldn’t. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand before he prompts himself up to kiss the corner of your mouth.

“Toji, you know this isn’t something I can do.” You tell him as he looks lovingly into your eyes. “I’m here to help you get better.”

“You can help me get better by laying down next to me.” Toji responds. You grab the hand that so lovingly touches your cheek and kiss it, before bringing your lips down to meet his momentarily. He swears he hears fireworks when your lips meet, even after you pull away.

He’s most definitely in love with you.

“I’ll go get your crutches. Good night, Toji.”

[moonbaetarot]

Pick a pile

what will you love about your future spouse

1. 2. 3.

Pile 1

Your future spouse is going to treat you so differently and better then your past partners. you may tell this person things your ex’s did to you and it genuinely gets them really angry. They are very good at planing dates and picking out gifts for you like they take little details very far if you tell them you like pink they will get you pink everything if you say you love pizza they will find a really good pizza place to take you. You two will have a really strong bond you both view relationships the same and agree on relationship stuff like if you think something is wrong in a relationship and you shouldn’t do it they also agree with this. When you two get into an arguments or disagrees you both know it’s because you or they have a long day or a bad day and they don’t actually mean to argue. Your future spouse is very gentle with you not just with your body but also your heart and there words they will never say anything to hurt your feelings intentionally. This person is going to bring a lot of peace and healing into your life. You’re going to be able to trust this person and feel very secure with them. This person is going to bring out your inner child. A lot of warmth love, growth, and stability they bring to you. You’re going to love the family you and this person make together they are your whole world. I feel like you just really love how happy they make you.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 2

Your future spouse loves to take care of you. they are going to run you a nice bath send you to get your nails done get you that new bag or makeup you want just because. I feel like your future spouse has money so you could just love that as well lol. This person is going to have you very happy and content you will never be sad or upset on their watch. You and this person are going to have a very healthy relationship and know how to keep and set boundaries. you may have a set day you have date night like every Friday or whatever day and they buy you flowers monthly very routine. This person is also very good with Animals and kids. Your future spouse is very peaceful and calm they don’t freak out over little things or get mad often. They are dominate and you like that they just let you be feminine and they take care of business. They respect you a lot. I see you owning a dog or a larger animal with this person. Your future spouse is going to give you a lot of reassurance letting you know that it’s going to be ok and they are here for you. This person makes you laugh I feel like they do things on purpose just to see you laugh. They have a good balance between work you and just life in general this person will never leave you feeling like they aren’t there for you just because they work so much.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 3

I feel like you and your future spouse are both goofy and funny you can joke around with them. This person fills all your cups like everything you want in a person every dream you have about love every fantasy is this person this person is like a dream come true. They accept you for who you are if there something you hate about yourself this person loves it about you. I definitely see you two getting married and having children together. This person is really good at communicating they will never leave you hanging over thinking about anything. You’re going to love going on vacation and traveling with them this person wants to see the world with you they also can’t wait to travel as a family one day. You and this person are yin and yang your both very different people that work really well together. Your future spouse feels very lucky to have met you and you in the life. You’re someone who likes to try new things and your future spouse is down for whatever you wanna do. You’re going to love the passion you two have even when you have kids and are older that passion will still be there. Your person is very loving inside I feel like they may look mean or stand-off to people in public but at home they really just wanna kiss and cuddle up right next to you .

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

[mountttmase]

Change Of Heart

The Beginning - Part Two

Note - thank you so much for all the feedback last week I was honestly in shock 😂 but I’m really happy you guys like it and I hope this chapter clears things up a little bit. Once again let me know what you think and thank you guys so so much I adore you 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 6.9k

Warnings - series contains angst & fluff

‘So who’s coming to dad’s birthday thing? Like will there be a lot of people?’ You asked. Half because you actually wanted to know how busy it would be and the other to know if he would be there.

‘A fair few. Auntie Jean and uncle Tim are coming plus the kids and Grandma said if Steve can give her a lift she’d come. A few of the neighbours will be here too and some people from dads work’ she reeled off but you didn’t care about if these people would be here and you couldn’t deny the omission of his name calmed you. ‘Tony and Debs are coming too. I think Lewis might tag along but it’s too late for the little one and I think that’s it really’

‘Okay, not too bad then’ you nodded, not minding at all that they would be there as you knew they were still close with your family and you still kept in semi-regular contact with Lewis when you could. ‘I’ll go finish getting ready’

’Make sure you're quick, everyone will be here soon’ she called as you ran up the stairs and you called down to let her know you would, even though you were nowhere near ready.

It was only a family party but you still wanted to look nice. Cracking out one of your more family friendly dresses that still showed off your figure and finishing your makeup before moving onto jewellery. You didn't have much, just a pair of hoops and a few rings before popping on your favourite necklace.

You knew you probably shouldn’t, but you’d worn the necklace Mason had gifted you every day since he’d given to you last year and today wouldn’t be an exception. No one knew about the secret engraving underneath and even if there was no coming back for the pair of you, you still wanted to keep part of him close to you as he’d always been such a big part of your life.

It had been about half an hour now and you could hear the buzz from downstairs letting you know people had arrived. You were nervous about heading down however and hoped that your cousins were there so you had someone to talk to rather than aimlessly following your mum around.

’Hey love, can you get that nice bottle of rosé out the fridge for Debbie?’ your Dad asked as you were halfway down the stairs, nodding at him before making a u-turn at the bottom of the stairs to fetch it from the kitchen before taking it to him in the dining room.

Knowing they were here and Mason wasn’t with them gave you mixed emotions. On the one hand you were relieved as you didn’t have to see him but on the other hand you wondered if he was avoiding you. He’d been back for a few weeks now and still made no attempt to contact you so you came to the conclusion you were no longer friends.

It stung, and left you feeling confused but you’d grown to accept it. Not everyone in your life was meant to stick around but you’d always thought Mason would be the exception. Trying to get past the fact you’d never see your favourite brown eyes or his special smile directed at you anymore.

That was until you heard his unmistakable laughter in the living room. The sound making your blood turn cold and for a second you wondered if you were just hearing things, but as you rounded the corner to double check you spotted him right away.

The same boy who’s heart you’d broken a year ago, who’d in turn had broken yours slowly since then. The same eyes and smile and silly spiky hair but he’d grown more than you could ever imagine to the point it was like looking at someone new. His shoulders and chest were broader and even through his jeans you could tell his legs weren’t as tiny as they used to be. He was even dressed better than he used to be, all in black in a pair of ripped jeans and a dark denim jacket but you felt sick at the sight of him.

He was still the boy who’d ignored you for a year because you said you didn’t want to be with him romantically and even though you stood by your decision, you were hurt by the way it had all been handled.

You didn’t want to speak with him or be near him so you turned back around made made your way to the stairs so you could lock yourself away for a moment. The bathroom being empty when you made it up the stairs and you sat on the edge of the bath as you tried to relax.

There were too many emotions flowing through you right now. You were shocked at seeing him again, upset and angry that he thought he could just turn up at your parents house and you’d be fine with it and embarrassed that everyone seemed to know he was here and you didn’t.

After a few relaxing breaths you managed to look yourself in the mirror. Wiping away the few tears that were sitting in your waterline before making yourself look presentable enough to go back.

You weren’t prepared to see him, the shock of him actually being here overwhelmed you and as much as you had told yourself things were done you knew there was still a part of you that yearned to still be his friend. To forget everything that had happened over the last year and accept him back with open arms but your pride wouldn’t let you.

The first thing you saw when you left the bathroom was Mason's big brown eyes again. This time he was standing on his own directly across from the door and you knew he’d been waiting for you. You paid him no attention though, your eyes falling to the floor as you walked away and back down the hall to the stairs but you should have expected him not to let you go so easily. Feeling his fingers wrap around your wrist as he pulled you to a stop and gently turned you to face him.

‘I’m sorry’ he whispered after a few seconds of silence. The sound of his voice in the flesh again making you shiver but you keep your eyes down as you knew they were full of tears again. ‘Y/n? Please. Please, I’m so sorry’

You didn’t respond, the tears now freely flowing down your face and even though he’d let go of you now, you were frozen. Your hands coming up to hide your face as you sobbed into them but he was quick to wrap you up in his embrace like nothing had happened. The pair of you fitting together like missing puzzle pieces as he tried to comfort you the best he could but soon enough he was pulling you in the direction of your room to try and avoid anyone seeing you so upset.

Once inside your room he grabbed your arms gently and placed them around his neck so you’d hug him and you didn’t pull back. Letting him hold you close to his body as his arms wrapped around your waist and that same feeling of safety you got around Mason that you always did returned alongside the crippling feeling of hurt that rippled under your skin.

‘Come on, please don’t cry’ he whispered but his words had the adverse effect. Sobs wracking through you as you held him as tightly as possible, almost as if he might disappear again but he was holding you back just a tight. Rubbing your back to soothe you but all you could do was sob into his neck as the smell of him consumed you. ‘Come sit down, yeah?’ He whispered and when he pulled away so he could take your hand you let him lead you over to your bed, unsure as to why you were blindly following his lead but you were hurt and upset and even though it was all his fault, his was the only comfort you wanted.

You followed him over to your bed. Your hand in his the whole time and he sat down on the edge before manoeuvring you onto his lap. Not really aware of your surroundings as your eyes were full of tears but once you were seated he pulled you into a hug again. Holding you close to his body as he slightly swayed you from side to side but you just hid your face in your hands again as you lent into him. Still too upset to even look at him but your mouth was now starting to run away with you.

‘You didn’t even let me say goodbye’ you hiccuped through your sobs. Feeling him pull you in even tighter as you wiped your eyes repeatedly. ‘I get you were hurt but you took that from me’

‘I know I know, I’m sorry’

‘I waited… I waited for you to text me and you never did’

‘I know, love. I know I didn’t and I’m the biggest idiot in the world’ he told you quietly. ‘Why do you think I came here tonight? I wanna try and make it up to you. To apologise and explain myself’

‘Why haven't you tried before?’

‘Cause I was embarrassed’ he admitted quietly but it didn’t make you feel any better hearing it. ‘And I thought you deserved more than a phone call or a shitty text’

‘Why Mase? Why did you go and just forget about me?’

‘I didn’t I promise, I’ve thought about you every day, yeah?’ He told you sincerely, moving the pair of you so that you could face each other a little better but your eyes were still full of tears and you couldn’t make him out very well. You wanted to hear his explanation though so you waited for him to continue whilst you quietened your sobs and thankfully he took the hint and carried on.

‘That last conversation we had, I was crushed. And it’s not your fault at all yeah, I told myself you’d probably shoot me down but there was this tiny part of me that thought you might feel the same. And it’s okay that you don’t, you’re probably right as it wouldn’t have worked but I was so embarrassed that you knew I liked you and the fact nothing would happen felt shit so I told myself just to adjust to life out there for a bit and then I’d be fine to talk to you again’ he told you quietly and it hit you once again how upset he was that you’d didn’t have the same feelings he did.

‘The first few months weren’t great and I needed you but I held back. Gave you your space and me mine, you know? but as time went on I just kept talking myself out of it. Said that you hadn’t tried with me either so I should just leave it a little longer but then it got to the point it was too long and I was too embarrassed to text you cause I figured you must hate me now’

‘I've never hated you, Mase’ you told him, sniffing as you tried to get yourself together again. ‘I’m really fucking hurt but I could never hate you. I only never messaged you cause I was giving you space too. I can’t tell you the amount of times I typed something out to send to you and then backed out cause I figured you weren’t ready. That you hadn’t text first and I had to wait for you to come to me but you never did, Mase’

‘I know’ he sighed, his voice full of tears now himself and hearing him upset hurt more than anything else you’d been feeling for the last year. ‘I’m so sorry, y/n. I really am. I don’t know if it makes any difference or if there’s anyway we can go back to being friends but I’m here now and I want to make things right with you’ he told you and you could tell he was ready to have a cry himself. The sound of his voice making your tummy churn and when you built up the courage to look at him the tears were sliding down his cheeks. ‘You’ve got me through some of my worst days, and when I was struggling out there I can’t tell you how many times I went to message you as well. I tried to push it all aside but I was afraid you’d still think I was pathetic-‘

‘Hey, no’ you interrupted, reaching you to touch his arm that was settled on your lap and the tiny bit of contact made Mason's eyes light up. ‘You’ve never been pathetic, Mase. I know that conversation didn’t go how you wanted but I never once thought you were pathetic’

‘I’ve really missed you’ he pouted, his bottom lip wobbling as his eyes continued to overflow and as much as you wanted to tell him you missed him back you held off. ‘It’s all my fault, I know that, but I’ve missed hearing about your day and telling you about mine. I’ve missed laughing until we’re crying and feeling sick, I just miss you. Like I don’t care about any of that stuff now I just want my friend back’ he hiccuped and your heart hurt for the broken boy in front of you. ‘If you need more time I can give it to you. I know things won't be the same and we’ll have to work on stuff but I’ll do anything for you’

‘If it was anyone else, you know I’d say no’ you told him, watching the hope fill his eyes as he knew what was coming next. ‘But I’ve been miserable without you Mase’

‘I’ve been miserable too’ he laughed, a few more tears spilling from his eyes but you took him into your arms again so hold him. To hopefully let him know that things would be okay somehow no matter how the two of you were feeling that you could get back to where you needed to be eventually. ‘How about, we both sort ourselves out so we look presentable and head back downstairs. We can talk more then yeah, I just don’t want you missing your dads birthday’

‘Okay’ you sighed, giving him a small smile but you watched his eyes flicker over your face before coming back to look in your eyes.

‘Where’s your red lipstick?’ He asked quizzically and you should have known this comment was coming sooner or later.

‘Oh um, I’ve still got it, I’ve just been trying something new for a while’ you smiled. ‘The red’s a lot, you know?’

‘I liked it’ he shrugged and and your heart melted at the way he was looking at you still.

‘Do you not like me without?’

‘Of course I do, you I know I’ll take you whatever way you come but I never thought in a million years you’d willingly stop wearing it’

‘Just thought a change might be good’ you nodded and you were hoping he’d move on from it and not make you explain it any further.

‘Come on then, we should head back out’ he told you. Tapping your thigh so you’d stand up off his lap and once you had you’d realised how much you missed his touch.

‘You go, I’ll come in a sec. I just need to sort my face out’ you laughed, realising you probably looked like a hot mess but he just smiled at you and touched your arm before turning to leave. ‘Mase?’ You called quietly, but he stopped in his tracks and turned to you with his eyebrows raised. ‘Can I get one more hug? I really did miss you’ you whispered and you watched his face soften immediately before wrapping you up in his arms again. Lifting you off the floor so he could sway you from side to side but your giggles made him pop you back on the floor.

‘See you down there, yeah?’

‘Okay’ you nodded and with that you let him go.

You didn’t think too much of letting him go back on his own, Mason grabbing himself a drink before making a beeline for his brother but he didn’t quite get there as he was stopped in his tracks by your mum who wanted to say hello and congratulate him on his season abroad.

‘Mason you must come and meet Jack’ your mum told him, linking her arm through his as she led him through the dining room and he just went with it.

‘Jack? Yeah sure’ Mason said, walking up to a guy who was stood alone by the window but he nodded his head at Mason as he got close but Mason didn’t know what to think or how to react.

Mason could tell what kind of guy Jack was immediately. Taller than him by a good few inches, short jet black hair and arms as big as Mason's head. He had no idea who he was though and guessed he was part of the family or a friend but when Jack gave him a once over as your mum introduced Mason to him there was something about him that felt off.

‘Hey it's good to meet you, man’ he smiled, holding his hand out for Mason to shake and it’s like he was trying to crush Mason's hand with the grip of it so Mason held back just as tightly. ‘Y/n’s told me a lot about you. I can’t lie, I’m actually an Arsenal fan but we were keeping up with you last season.’ Jack smiled and Mason just nodded along, still unsure as to who the man was in front of him as the pair of them let go of one another and Mason flexed his fingers behind his back. ‘Have you seen her by any chance? It’s like she’s been avoiding me- ah here she is’ Jack smiled holding his hand out to his right and when Mason turned to look that way he saw you standing in the doorway like a deer caught in the headlights. To say this was the moment you’d been dreading was an understatement but you couldn’t leave Jack hanging.

Mason could see the uncomfortable look on your face but you took Jack's hand and let him pull you into his side and press a kiss to your head. The action making his skin prickle uncomfortably and he had to look away to process what he was seeing before looking back up and avoiding your eyes.

‘You alright, babe? Was just saying to Mason I thought you were avoiding me’ Jack laughed, wrapping his arm around your waist and your heart broke at the look on Mason's face. This isn’t how you wanted him to find that you had a boyfriend but unfortunately you were stuck in between both of them now unsure of what to say or do.

‘Sorry, was just sorting a few things out’

‘That’s alright, sweetie’ he smiled and the term of endearment made Masons' skin crawl. Watching him as he pulled you in front of his body so he could wrap his arms around your waist and rest his chin on the top of your head. Like he was trying to claim you in front of everyone else and Mason could feel his blood starting to boil.

Mason didn’t want to be here, stuck talking to this guy who was holding you in a way he could only dream of but it was the fact he was there in the first place annoyed him more than anything. He came here to talk to you, to make amends with you but now everything was up in the air. He knew he owed you this, that he'd been a crappy friend and he owed it to you to be the best friend he possibly could in this moment but he was overwhelmed and needed a way out. Looking up to find Lewis looking back with his eyebrow raised so he made a quick excuse that he was needed quickly and fled the scene.

‘What the fuck, Lew? Why didn’t you tell me she’s got a boyfriend?’

‘I assumed she would have told you?’ He shrugged, only then realising that the pair of you had both lied to your families that you were still speaking. ‘What’s up with you?’

‘Nothing, I’m getting a drink’ he mumbled before trudging back to the kitchen.

Mason felt broken. A small part of him hoped that when he came back there would be a way for you to work things out and be together. That you’d had a chance to think things over and realise you were in love with him too but now all his dreams were dashed. Yes he’d told you it was fine being friends and he’d do what you wanted but he’d also wanted you to miss him. To realise that you could feel the same and that you could make it work but now there was no chance.

Jack wasn’t the guy he thought you’d go for and he made Mason feel more insecure than he ever had. He could tell he was a few years older and quite clearly able to give you things that Mason couldn’t but the reality that you’d slipped through his fingers completely was more than he could take.

He knew what he had to do though, he had to be what he hadn’t been for the last year and be the bestest friend he could be so he psyched himself up and went back to find you so he could prove himself to you again.

You weren’t hard to spot. Jack now leaning against the table with you in between his legs but it was like Jack could see Mason coming and when he got close enough he started to kiss you softly. The sight making Mason's temper flare but he pushed through it and carried on making his way over.

‘You look hot as fuck babe’ Jack told you, holding you out at arms length so he could look you up and down and even though he was being silly, it made Mason feel awkward how Jack seemed to be dangling you in his face without your knowledge.

‘Jack stop it’ you laughed, tapping him on the chest as you tried to brush the comment away but Mason knew you and he knew how uncomfortable you sounded.

‘No, I’m serious. Like look at you’ he laughed, trying to get you to spin so he could oogle your bum but you just laughed awkwardly and turned back as Jack looked at Mason. ‘You admit it too, don’t you Mason? Go on, tell her. Tell her she looks hot’

‘Mason you don’t have to say that’ you told him, only now just realising he’d seen the whole thing and you watched as his cheeks reddened and he awkwardly coughed. Feeling awful for him as Jack tried to parade you in front of everyone so you swatted Jack in the arm playfully to get him to stop but he just laughed loudly and pulled you closer.

‘What about you Mason? You got a girl’

‘Nope’ Mason breathed, popping the p at the end of his sentence and you knew Mason was getting annoyed with Jack's antics.

‘Why not? You must have girls all over you right?’

‘Not the ones I want though’ he laughed under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear before clearing his throat and nodding to the side. ‘I’m just gonna use the loo I won’t be long’

‘Can you stop doing that’ you whispered to Jack as soon as Mason was out of earshot but just sent you a cheeky wink before pinching your bum.

‘What? You love it when I compliment you usually’

‘I know but we’re at a family party, you need to tone it down’

‘I can’t help it if you're the sexiest person I’ve ever laid my eyes on’ he teased and you wanted to roll your eyes at how ridiculous he was being. ‘You’re my girl and I wanna let everyone know you’re mine’

‘You can show me another time’ you winked, letting him pull you into a hug but you should have known he had ulterior motives when you felt his lips on your neck. Peppering soft kisses that usually drove you wild but you were well aware you shouldn’t be doing this as it wasn’t the time or place.

‘Jack…’

‘Sorry sweetie, I can’t help it’ he laughed, pulling away from you so he could look you in the eyes and you noticed straight away how dark his were. ‘Doesn’t help I won’t get to have you tonight’

‘I’m sure you can wait a few days’

‘I don’t think I can’ he whispered, hands travelling back down to your bum but you pulled out of his grasp so no one could see him being handsy.

‘Well tough. I’m going to get a drink I won’t be long’ you winked and left him on his own so you could go to the kitchen. You’d told him it was for a drink but secretly you wanted to check in with Mason and even though he said he was going to the loo you found him exactly where you thought he’d be.

Mason was out in the garden on his own, arms crossed as he looked up to the sky and even though you knew he’d come out here to be alone you also knew you needed to talk to him. You didn’t want him to find out about Jack the way that he had and you didn’t know what he was thinking so without a second thought you made your way to him. Quietly walking across the grass until you were stood next to him and even though he didn’t look down, you knew he’d seen you.

‘I really have missed out on a lot then, huh?’ He sighed. Finally glancing down at you but you were unsure of what to say. Looking off into the distance just as he had done and you waited for him to talk again. ‘How long have you been together?’

‘About 7 months’ you whispered, watching his head drop out of the corner of your eye and your heart broke for your best friend.

‘How did you meet?’

‘We’re on the same course’

‘And are you happy?’ He asked but you kept silent as you didn’t want to upset him even further. ‘It’s okay, you can tell me’

‘Yes’ you whispered, your tummy dropping as he just shut his eyes momentarily but he was soon looking at you with a small smile on his face.

‘Well that’s all that matters then, yeah?’ He nodded and you felt the tears in your eyes spill over instantly. ‘C’mere, it’s okay’

‘I was gonna tell you, I didn’t want you to find out like that but it just slipped my mind before’ you spoke into his chest. Holding him like he might disappear but the way he was rubbing your back let you know everything would be okay.

‘It’s alright, you don’t need to be sorry’

‘I don’t want you to hate me’

‘Hey, I could never’ he whispered into your hair and you just held him tighter. ‘We may have lost our way a bit and I know it’s my fault but seeing you today, I never wanna go that long without you again okay? You're my best friend, y/n and I’ll always be happy for you no matter what you decide, okay?’

‘I’m still sorry I didn’t say anything earlier’

‘It’s alright, it’s all out in the open now. Unless you've got anything you wanna confess’ he teased but you just shook your head with a laugh. ‘Come on then, I better go give him the full assessment. Make sure he’s good enough for you’

‘I know he’s a lot, but he really is good to me Mase’

‘Okay, I trust you’ Mason smiled before quickly wiping your eyes for the hundredth time that night.

Once you were back inside, the three of you sat together so you could get to know each other. Both boys relaxing a bit as the night went on and you couldn’t believe the two men in your life were getting on. Something you didn’t think was possible even this morning but you hadn’t felt this happy in a long time.

‘You guys got any plans over the summer?’ Mason eventually asked when he was finishing telling you about the trip he’d planned with his family and you smiled at the way he was taking an interest in the both of you.

‘We’ve got a little road trip to Cornwall coming up’ you nodded, feeling Jack squeeze your waist as you knew you were both excited for your first trip away together but you didn’t realise he was about to explain further and drop you in it.

‘Yeah, we weren’t gonna do anything as we need to save the pennies for our big trip but we thought a few days away wouldn't hurt’ Jack smiled and even though you knew what was coming you couldn’t stop it from happening.

‘What’s the big trip?’

‘Safari in Kenya’ Jack smiled and it was like Mason's heart fell into his stomach. That was meant to be our trip he thought, trying best to swallow back his shock and thankfully he pulled it off just enough so Jack believed him.

‘Oh wow, that is a big trip’

‘Yeah, I mean I’ve been there, done that before. I traveled for a few years before uni but when this one mentioned she’d always wanted to go then I told her I’d make it happen’

‘It's just an idea, could be years away’ you mumbled, trying to ease the heartbroken look on Mason's face but he just gave you a tight smile and nodded.

‘No you should do it, I know you’ve always wanted to go’

We’ve always wanted to go, you thought to yourself but you didn’t bring it up again. Letting the boys change the conversation to something football related as you sat there with a heavy heart.

Jack had to leave at around 10, needing to get a late train so he could be home for a family trip the next day and you walked him to the door so you could share a private goodbye but as soon as he left you felt yourself pulled in Mason's direction.

He’d been doing the rounds for about an hour now and even though you’d been talking with Jack and some other members of your family it was Mason who your eyes always went to. Finding him looking back at you fondly most times or pulling silly faces the other so now you were alone you knew you wanted to finally talk to him properly.

You joined in with the conversation he was having with a few of your neighbours until it was just the pair of you talking. Him taking you into the kitchen to refill both your drinks and any concept of time vanished until Debbie made a beeline for the pair of you.

‘You alright you two?’ She smiled and you both nodded before her attention was on Mason. ‘We’re gonna head back but you come when you’re ready yeah?’

It was only then you looked up and realised most people were gone. Only Lewis on Tony left who were putting their coats on and you realised you and Mason must have been too caught up talking to notice anything else.

‘Oh okay, yeah’ he nodded, reaching over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek and you smiled at how lovely he was with her.

‘Text me when you’re leaving i'll get your dad to wait for you by the door’

‘Mum im a grown man and we live one street away. I’m sure I’ll be fine’ Mason groaned, rolling his eyes as you let out a little laugh but Debbie just huffed and you had a feeling she was about to put her foot down.

‘Well I'll feel better if your dad waits for you so just humour me and text us please?’

‘Yeah yeah fine, but don't wait up okay?’

‘If it gets too late he can just stay here, Debbie’ you smiled. ‘I’ve still got that old mattress he used to sleep on whenever he stayed round before’

‘And you wonder why my back was always fucked-‘

‘Language around y/n, Mason’ Debbie interrupted, not happy with her son's filthy mouth but he just chuckled and patted you on the shoulder.

‘What? Who do you think I learnt that word from’ he laughed ‘she’s got a mouth like a sailor’

‘Just text me okay’ she laughed, rolling her eyes once more before giving you both a quick goodbye and joining everyone else in the dining room.

You followed after, making sure to say goodbye to everyone before retreating to the living room and when your parents never came back in, Mason tapped your knee lightly.

‘We should give your parents a hand clearing up, I bet there’s loads to do’

‘No it’s fine, they said to leave it until tomorrow. I think they’ve both gone to bed by the sounds of it’ you laughed before stretching your arms above your head. ‘You wanna go to my room? Bit comfier than these chairs and I wanna get changed’ you smiled and you could have sworn he was blushing ever so slightly.

‘Okay’ he nodded and after grabbing a few snacks the pair of you hurried upstairs and into your room. You’d changed it around a bit from when he’d last seen it properly and when you switched the LED lights on and the space was filled with a purple glow, he looked at you with a shy smile.

‘I’m just gonna get my pjs on, this dress is suffocating me’ you laughed, running over to the bathroom to get changed and wipe your makeup off and when you got back he was sat up against your headboard with a soft look on his face. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine’ he coughed, adjusting himself and shuffling over before patting the space next to him for you to join and you were quick to jump in next to him.

The pair of you were sat against your headboard for what felt like hours, trying to keep your laughter to a minimum but it was difficult. You’d missed his cheeky personality and he had so many fun stories from when you were apart that he was incessant about telling you about. You eventually found yourselves laid down facing each other and you couldn't help but shuffle yourself closer towards him.

‘You know, I thought I saw you once’ he laughed, rubbing your back lightly after he’d placed his arm around you a short while ago. ‘We were playing PSV and there was this girl in the crowd and I could have sworn it was you. I went over to have a better look at the end of the game but she’d gone and I realised maybe I was just going crazy’

‘You weren’t going crazy’ you whispered. Not having the courage to look at him but you could see him staring at you funny from the corner of your eye. ‘It really was me, I flew out to see you and watch a game but I chickened out of saying hi’

‘Are you serious?’ he laughed, his hand on your side so he could shake you and you laughed until you had the courage to look at him.

‘Completely, I’ve got pictures and everything’ you told him, reaching for your phone and scrolling to the album you had them saved in before rolling onto your front so he could see. Him still on his side but he wrapped his arm around your back further and leaned into your arm so he could get a better look and you could feel him chuckling as you flicked through them.

‘I can’t believe it, I was thinking about you for days after’ he laughed, rolling onto his back and even though you probably shouldn’t have, you felt yourself shuffling over so you could lay next to him. You head on his chest with an arm around his waist and you knew he was shocked as it took him a few beats to wrap his arms around you.

‘Sorry I didn’t come and see you, I just didn’t think you wanted to talk to me’

‘You don’t have to be sorry about anything I promise you’ he whispered. ‘It’s me that’s the sorry one, I can’t believe you came all that way for me’

‘I told you, I’ll always be cheering you on and that’s whether you want me to or not’

‘Of course I want you to’ he gulped and you could tell he was getting upset so you rubbed his chest lightly in hopes it would make him feel a bit better. ‘I really am so sorry y/n’

‘Mase it’s okay-‘

‘No it’s not’ he interrupted, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. The act startling you are little but it warmed your chest and you couldn’t hide your smile. ‘I haven’t felt this… whole, in a long time and I always knew it was you that missing’

‘Well in the interests of being sorry, I’m sorry about the whole safari thing. Jacks travelled here, there and everywhere and when he said he’d been I told him it was always my dream to go. After last year and everything I didn’t know if we’d ever get a chance but it’s our thing and I’m sorry I shared it with someone else’

‘It’s okay, we can make it a group trip’ he laughed, squeezing you tighter and you loved the fact he was taking everything in his stride.

‘Yeah? You’ll come with us’ you smiled, looking up at him but he shrugged and you weren’t sure if he was saying it to try and make you feel better.

‘Maybe, we’ll see’ he winked before you settled back on his chest. ‘Maybe i’ll be able to buy you your own safari to keep in the garden soon’

‘I’d like that’ you whispered, loving the fact everything had clicked right back into place and the fact that you thought this would never happen made things feel extra sweet.

You spoke quietly for a bit longer, talking about the future and what he thought his next plans were but it was way past 2am and you were both yawning your heads off.

‘Come on Mase, you look exhausted. Why don’t you go to sleep’

‘Cause I cant be arsed to get up and get that fucking awful mattress’

‘So don’t, we can share right?’ You told him, not wanting him to move either as you felt so comfy on his chest but you hoped you weren’t pushing things too far for the pair of you. You’d had sleepovers before when you were younger but never in the same bed and now you knew he once harboured feelings for you it may have been awkward but you didn’t care right now.

‘You sure?’

‘Yeah, just don’t hog the covers’ you laughed, rolling away so you could get up and pull the covers away as the pair of you had been laying on top and you laughed as he rolled around to get underneath

‘I can’t promise anything’

‘You really gonna sleep in jeans?’ You asked, sliding in next to him, not wanting to make him uncomfortable by telling him to get undressed but also knowing that he was a human radiator and it would be like sleeping next to the sun if he stayed as he was.

‘I’ve got nothing else’ he mumbled. ‘Stop trying to undress me’

‘Oh whatever’ you laughed, moving the covers back so you could finally get back in before turning your lights out and settling down.

‘Y/n? He whispered, only just hearing his voice as he was most of the way asleep and you hummed to let him you know heard him in hopes he’d carry on. ‘For what it’s worth, he was right. You did look hot tonight’

All of a sudden you were wide awake, a small gasp falling from your lips as your eyes flew up to his but he was out like a light. Small snores filling the quiet room and you thought it was typical for him to be asleep so quickly.

You ignored what he said though, knowing he was just trying to tease you and you rolled over onto your side away from him. Letting the sound of his breathing lul you off to sleep, feeling more at peace than you had in months.

Tag list - @saltyheartnightmare @harvestmount @prideofpd @sid-vii @carlottawllms @footiehoemcfc @katharinanadiaa @whenelifallsinlove @neverinadream @cityzenchick @msnmnt @stikkibun @masonmtxo @chillymountsjess @yoursselo @maseymm @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @leclerc13

[nakimov]

When someone else gives you gifts

Featuring: Okita, Sasaki, Loki, and Anubis ( part 3 )

I’m doing young Sasaki instead of 60 year old dilf Sasaki. For those that don’t know who Tatsunosuke was. He is an actual character in chapter 5 Chiruran.

Read part 1 and 2 for the other characters

TW: some possessive tendencies, and cute/fluff moments and hurt/comfort

Okita

Everyone from Kondo’s dojo always teased how Souji liked you even though he denied it. A part of you hoped that he does like you more than a friend. Deep down it always hurt hearing how he always said you two were just friends.

You decided to visit Tatsunosuke who was a sick young boy dying from a fatal lung disease. He reminded you of Souji a lot and he was nice to you. He was the son of a high-ranking samurai at the military centre. He was too far gone for any treatment to work. “Here, you shouldn’t move much.” You went to hand him a mug of herbal tea.

“I don’t think I’ll be here much longer,” he was breathing heavily and his condition looked to be worse than the last time you saw him. You didn’t say anything and thought back how he never looked down on you for being a part of another dojo.

He went to grab his wakizashi and looked down at it. The scabbard was red and the guard was silver. “I want you to have it and remember me when I’m no longer here.” He put it in your hands. It was painful but you silently accepted it. This might be the last you see him.

Tatsunosuke was like a younger brother to you but the others from Kondo’s dojo thought you were dating him which was embarrassing sometimes. Souji on the other hand never said anything about your visits with the dying boy. As you forbid your farewell with him and left to return back to the Shieikan dojo. You saw a few of the kids playing outside. “Where have you been?” A voice asked you from behind.

“Hi to you as well?” You saw how he looked irritated while giving you a murderous stare. You avoided the question. Souji knew but wanted you to be honest. Did you like Tatsunosuke? Were you seeing him as if you two were dating? What pissed him off more was the unknown wakizashi you were holding. It looked oddly familiar as if Souji hadn’t studied the boy you liked hanging out with.

“No need to give me that look, Souji-san. You know where I was at. Besides, where are those fan girls that normally come around here?” You weren’t making the situation better.

“They don’t mean anything to me unlike what he means to you,” he muttered while his gaze met with the ground. You wanted to say something else. You always found comfort with Souji more but Tatsunosuke was dying and didn’t have many friends close to him. He tried to move past you to go back inside the dojo and probably avoid you for the rest of the week.

“Souji wait!” you called out to him. He stopped and waited for you to say something without turning his head to look at you.

“He… he doesn’t mean as much to me as you do. He’s dying and doesn’t have much time left to live.” You wanted to grab ahold of his sleeve but the wakizashi gift still irked him. He would have to give you something better for you to protect yourself. Was he acting jealous over this boy? He met him once or twice and beat him without trying in practice training.

Souji unexpectedly turned his head and smiled. “It’s fine, I would get you something better for you to protect yourself. Maybe me perhaps?” Was this his awful way of flirting with you? Huh? Him protect you? That doesn’t sound too bad.

Without a second thought, you wrapped your arms around him accepting that offer. “How about we put a label on us?” It was about time you two would stop denying it around the others and are official and he’d be your only gift.

Sasaki

During the closing years of the Sengoku period, you had met some interesting people and one in particular caught your attention. Sasaki Kojiro. He was a bit skinny but his determination to keep fighting had made you curious about this young man.

You were just some odd woman training in the same dojo as him. It was Toda’s dojo and it was owned by Seigen. You saw him enter the dojo late like usual and took a smacking by the owner’s nephew like usual. “Sasaki-san, you should take this dojo seriously if you want to get stronger,” you light-heartedly sighed.

You and him sparred a bit but he normally gave up and said you were stronger than him. It made you wonder if you were strong or if he was just weak. You saw how he sparred with Kagekatsu numerous of times and forfeits the matches normally. “Sasaki-san, why don’t you actually try and put in your all?” You pouted but he awkwardly laughed and said there was no point because if he were to fight you a hundred times you would still beat him. Huh?!

Sasaki was always one to follow you around like a lost puppy in the dojo which was cute and you admired that side of him. He wanted to get better but his confidence wasn’t there. His training lacked so you were certain he was either going to be kicked from the dojo or he would train elsewhere. You wanted him to stay and not slack off. You would help him if he would take your help but he doesn’t want it. He said it numerous of times.

After a few weeks had gone by of not seeing Sasaki you were growing more and more upset. Did he already quit? Give up with the sword? One of the members of the dojo gave you a kimono robe and said it was a gift for your hard work. The kimono was patterned and made with silk and not cloth. You had no idea whether to accept it but it was better than what you normally wore. Short baggy pants and shirts with no sleeves.

You had left the dojo to see if you could find Sasaki. You were worried someone could’ve killed him with the time he was gone. Yet after some time wandering the woods, you heard ruffling from a few leaves and saw a rabbit. Then what surprised you was Sasaki jumping to catch it from behind. “Wh—what the hell?! What are you doing?” You were furious how he was turning into some animal.

“Haha, what are you doing here? I was training,” he scratched the back of his head. You sighed and sat down on a fallen log.

“Sasaki-san, I was worried you were killed from the missing weeks you stopped coming back.” You mumbled and the truth was you didn’t want him to disappear from your life.

“I would… eventually return when I feel like it. Besides what is this? I have never seen you wear something like this before,” he walked up to you and touched the sleeve of the robe.

“Someone from the dojo gave it to me for my hard work. I don’t feel like I deserve it though, and you look like you need new clothes eventually.” You scolded him for always getting dirty.

“Oh well, I actually wanted to get you something… nicer. I guess someone else beat me to it.” Sasaki was giving up already? Your left eye twitched.

“There’s no limit to who can give me things. How about I take you somewhere to eat properly that isn’t raw bunnies and snakes?” You stood up and grabbed the front of his kimono. Sasaki admired how you were persistent and wanted to check up on him when no one else has.

“I don’t eat them raw… I still cook the meat.” He raised his hands up in defence.

“Agh, never mind. Let’s go somewhere and this time I’ll watch over you.” He didn’t say anything after that but a part of him was happy and he would prove to you one day that he would take care of you better than anyone else.

Loki

You were incredibly close to Loki and had long accepted him for who he was. His tricks never worked on you and you can easily tell if he shape-shifts into someone else. He wasn’t that unpredictable. You could tell he had a troubled past that he wouldn’t tell anyone, not even you.

As the two of you resided in the same Asgard palace, Loki liked to follow you around even if he was disguised as small animals that would not be in your peripheral sight. He couldn’t help but grow irritated by how some of the guards would joke with you and talk so freely around you.

One of the guards gave you a ring and this made Loki snap on the inside. This guard— was he proposing to you?! He didn’t want to out himself that he was spying on you or else this could strain your friendship. He wanted to kill the guard for trying to steal you from him.

He found you alone in the library reading and this was the time to ask you if you feel the same way as he did for you. Love? He couldn’t deny how utterly in love he was with you even if it was obnoxious or just infatuation.

You heard him enter the room and turned your head. “Loki? What are you doing?” Your calm voice eased his anger from what he saw earlier. Confusion was written on his face. You weren’t wearing the ring?

“Ya I— I was bored and wanted to see you!” He tried to give you one of his not-so-innocent smiles. He was hiding something and you knew it.

“What is it?” Your expression grew more serious and Loki grabbed your shoulders.

“It’s just— I want us to be more than what we are now." you couldn’t deny how you had never seen this desperate side of him. Was he playing with you?

“Don’t play with my feelings, Loki. Whatever this trick is—"

“I’m not playing any trick! I swear— I swear I wanted to kill that guard from earlier who tried to propose to you.” What?!

“You admitted to spying on me? And Balder wasn’t proposing to me, you idiot. It was one of those rings that can open portals for fast transportation.” You had no idea why Loki was so upset but he looked a bit more at ease. So he might’ve been telling the truth.

“So— sorry, I assumed too quick…” he was embarrassed but now you know how he feels when he’s around you.

You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his waist. “You shouldn’t have hidden your feelings from me like how you hide yourself in different forms,” you smiled genuinely. Loki was frozen in place but reciprocated your comfort by keeping you in his arms. It was better than feeling as he did before assuming others wanted you just as badly as he did.

“How about I make you mine completely?” he tilted your chin up and gave you a smug look as if he was hinting at something else.

“We can take it slow, no need to rush things." you lifted the palm of your hand to touch his cheek. Even though he frowned at your words, he still had you at the end of the day.

Anubis

You were his, and he made sure everyone knew that. As you resided in the Aaru, the heavenly paradise for the Egyptian pantheon. Some of the other Egyptian gods didn’t like messing with the hyper-energetic god of funerals. He was strong and devoted to being your loyal guardian and companion.

He expresses his feelings a lot and doesn’t hide things from you. Something about him made you more drawn to the god. He saw something in you that even you couldn’t see yourself. Were you as perfect as he always tells you?

You didn’t believe it. As some moments passed, you found Bastet and Hathor whispering to each other in the main hall. They stopped and saw you staring at them. Bastet snickered and called you a pet. “I uhm… was looking for lord Ra—" you were interrupted.

“He’s not looking for you nor cares what you want. Tell me what it is and if it’s important I’ll relay the message to him.” Hathor stared down at you as she had her arms crossed. Bastet smirked and you knew in the back of your head that these two never liked you.

“Sorry.. it’s not important.” You lied as it wasn’t any use to talk to them. You needed to tell Ra that Osiris left the Aaru without permission. You went to leave but Bastet spoke up.

“What does my nephew see in you? Is it your pretty eyes? Face? Hair? Hmm… maybe something else? Are you two fu—"

“No—! It’s none of that. I— I don’t know exactly. We’re good friends! That’s all… I think.” You raised your hands up but Bastet wasn’t done interrogating you. Hathor pulled her back and told her there was no reason to start a fight.

Good friends? Bastet heard Anubis call you his consort on numerous occasions. Even Osiris and Set disapprove of his behaviours and obsession with you. Yet you called him a close friend? Or were you embarrassed?

“Here take this and think of it as a small courtesy thing, and go level your head a bit. Sorry about my sister.” Hathor passed you a bottle of red wine, but the worst thing was, that you had never drank before. Only higher authority gods were allowed to. You were just a simple deity of the pantheon. It was no wonder no one approves of you around here.

You walked back to your corridors with a frown on your face. Were the other gods right? You were unworthy of Anubis’s attention? It brought you discomfort for some reason and the fact he says he loves you a lot without thinking made you believe that he knew what the emotion was. Yet you wondered if you feel the same back? Some of the women and maids would try to get his attention but he acts oblivious to their advances.

You decided you wouldn’t drink since it wasn’t your thing. Anubis was lying on the bed in your room. “Why are you in my room?” You put the bottle on one of the stands in the corner. You didn’t expect him to be waiting for you, well it’s not the first time.

“I really really wanted to wait for you. I couldn’t find you so I decided to wait here instead.” He jumped off the bed like an excited animal. You couldn’t help but blush a bit at his excitement.

“Well, I ran into your aunts in the hall and Hathor gifted me this.” You picked up the bottle to show him and he stuck out his tongue in disgust. He was exaggerating. You quickly chuckled. You can tell he hated the taste of alcohol.

“Yuck yuck yuck! I should tell them to not give you this stuff!” He pouted but you sat on the bed and had already decided that you weren’t going to drink— at least not try it in front of him. Anubis looked unhappy and you had walked over to him and asked him if he was upset that they tried to get you drunk. He looked a bit flustered but he wasn’t entirely stupid. Part of the reason was that he doesn’t like others giving things to you. The wine could’ve had poison in it.

“It’s nothing! It’s nothing, let’s just cuddle!” He pulled you down on the mattress and was suffocating you with his arms squeezing around your body.

He soon forgotten why he was mad since you were with him in his arms. His soon-to-be wife for sure.

Note: this is the end of part 3! I saw a request in my box for Valkyries and it intrigued me that if I do a part 4, I’ll probably do side characters and Valkyries but they’ll probably be shorter than normal.

[kiwriteswords]

I Promise You This

Chapter One: All That Emptiness Knows Just Where I Live

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Trigger Warnings: Chronic illness, reader with past abusive relationship, canon-typical violence, canon-typical themes, language, future sexual themes

Rating: Mature for mature themes and future chapters.

Word Count: 1k

Summary: Y/N, the newest and youngest profiler in the BAU, is haunted by her past—an abusive relationship and an illness she keeps hidden from her team. Though skilled in her work, she distances herself emotionally, fearing vulnerability. Aaron Hotchner, her reserved and perceptive boss, begins to notice the cracks in her carefully constructed walls as they navigate high-stakes cases together. Drawn to her resilience, Hotch finds himself increasingly protective of Y/N. As their bond deepens, both must confront their own emotional barriers, leading to an unexpected connection amidst the darkness of their work.

AN: I originally posted this story back in 2021, but for a multitude of reasons, I stepped away from the fandom and removed it. Now, in 2024, I’ve decided to return and revisit this fic with a fresh perspective. I’m currently in the process of rewriting the entire 45-chapter story, adding new depth, and refining the plot. As I re-upload the chapters, I will be including trigger warnings (TWs) for sensitive content. However, if I miss something, please don’t hesitate to let me know. Your comments, shares, and likes/kudos are incredibly encouraging and motivate me to keep working on this rewrite, as well as inspire new content. Thank you for being here, and I hope you enjoy the updated version of this story!— Ki

Masterlist | I Promise You This | Ao3

You stare out the jet’s window, your eyes tracing the clouds below. Sleep eludes you, and the quiet conversation among your team members fades into the background. Music hums softly in your ears, a barely audible escape. You know the odds—three missing children—and yet your mind feels curiously empty.

Laughter breaks through your thoughts. You glance over and see Morgan teasing Reid, as usual. The whole team joins in, and even Hotch chuckles. If he’s laughing, whatever Reid said must have been good.

You smile faintly, though it doesn’t reach your eyes. Isolation is familiar to you—whether you're buried in a book or lost in your music, you’ve always found comfort in keeping a certain distance. It’s not about not fitting in, at least not entirely. The team welcomed you when you joined. They accepted you. But you’ve never quite let yourself feel like you belong.

Only in your twenties, you’ve already lived more life than most people twice your age. A childhood overshadowed by responsibilities that shouldn’t have been yours, and a turbulent adolescence marked by health problems that kept you in and out of hospitals. You were the kid who missed weeks of school but somehow still pulled straight A’s. The one who didn’t go to prom, didn’t have a high school sweetheart, and definitely didn’t have a tight-knit group of friends.

Then there was him. The boy who promised you the world but only gave you heartache. The one who made you feel small, unworthy, broken—both with his words and his hands. The one who convinced you to stay, even when every fiber of your being screamed to leave. You did leave, eventually, but not without scars, some of which never quite healed.

No one on the team knows any of this. To them, you’re just Y/N, the youngest, least experienced profiler in the BAU. A fast learner, sure. Someone who pulls her weight in the field. But you’ve made sure your past is buried deep, nowhere near your file. Only Spencer ever asked why your academic timeline was a little... unconventional. You gave him the same story you’ve told everyone else: You took time to travel.

The truth? You finished undergrad earlier than most, and jumped into grad school while working at a local field office. It was around that time the BAU reached out, and suddenly, your life was moving at a pace you could barely keep up with. Your health remained an ongoing battle, but that was nobody’s business. You’ve never let it slow you down, and you’re not about to start now.

Therapy helped. It gave you the tools to face your past and, more importantly, to reclaim your future. Joining the BAU felt like a step in the right direction—a chance to put your trauma to use, to give your pain purpose. And if you keep your distance from the team, it’s not because you don’t trust them. It’s because trusting people still feels like a risk.

The jet dips, signaling the approach to Phoenix. Your body tenses involuntarily. You haven’t been back here in years, not since... him. You’re not sure how you’ll react once your feet touch the ground again.

"What are you listening to?" Hotch’s voice pulls you from your thoughts.

You jump, startled by his sudden appearance across from you. He watches you with that quiet intensity, and for a moment, you wonder how long he’s been sitting there.

"Nothing important," you murmur, pausing the music and slipping your headphones out.

Hotch’s gaze lingers, and you shift uncomfortably. It’s not that he’s unkind—far from it. But there’s something about his presence, his authority, that makes you second-guess yourself.

"You seemed deep in thought," he notes, a rare hint of amusement in his voice.

"Just zoning out," you reply with a shrug. "Long flight."

He nods but doesn’t push. Hotch is observant, more so than the others. He’s noticed the way you isolate yourself on these flights, how you always seem a little more on edge than you let on. But he hasn’t asked, not yet. You’re grateful for that.

"What were you all laughing about earlier?" you ask, more to fill the silence than out of genuine curiosity.

"Reid’s latest hairstyle," Hotch replies with a smirk. "Morgan’s convinced he’s trying out for a boy band."

You laugh softly, surprising yourself. "He does have that early 2000s look going for him."

"Maybe next week he’ll try the ‘classic detective’ look," Hotch says, the corner of his mouth twitching in amusement.

For a moment, the tension eases. You almost forget where you’re headed.

"Have you gone over the case file?" Hotch asks, his tone shifting back to business.

"Yeah," you nod, glancing back out the window. The familiar skyline of Phoenix looms closer. You take a deep breath. "I haven’t been here in a long time."

"Family here?" he asks casually, clearly not realizing the weight of the question.

You shake your head quickly. "No, I just... used to live nearby for a while."

It’s technically the truth. But the memories attached to this city are ones you’d rather not revisit.

Before Hotch can respond, Morgan sticks his neck out from across the aisle. "You lived in Phoenix? How did I not know that?"

"It was a long time ago," you say, deflecting with a practiced ease.

Morgan grins and steers the conversation back to the case, but Hotch lingers for a moment longer, watching you. There’s something about you that doesn’t quite add up, something just out of reach. He’s known you for a year, yet you’re still a puzzle he hasn’t managed to solve. And maybe that’s why he keeps trying.

As the jet touches down, you pull your bag over your shoulder and follow the team out, doing your best to leave the past behind. But Hotch’s eyes stay on you, and for the first time in a long time, you wonder if someone might be able to see through your walls after all.

[diejager]

What are your thoughts on Stepdad!price (or Johnny) who intentionally get you pregnant

Cw: STEPCEST, DARKFIC, DUB-CON/NON-CON, forced pregnancy, misogyny, forced breeding, breeding, creampie, mating press, doggy style, office sex, tell me if I missed any.

Price would act different with you than with your mother, something about him knowing what’s best for you because you’re younger and more naive than your mother. She didn’t need his guidance or help, unlike you, who was still so young and pretty, a beautiful gem that was corruptible if handled by the wrong men. So he took it into his own hands, teaching you who was in charge in this family.

He might tolerate your mother working and acting as her own being, he respected her for being the sole provider of her household for so long, caring for you and your younger brother who was still young and impressionable. You might have taken longer to accept him into your home, but your brother was in the phase of wanting - missing and needing - a father figure in his life, seeing him as the most dependable and powerful person in his world as his step-father and a Captain in the SAS. It was something your brother could brag about and feel proud, a turn of a new leaf in a life where he always told people he was fatherless.

Bot your mother and your brother took his sudden appearance so well, perhaps it was her aged exhaustion and your brother’s jovial and receptive mind, but you were still in your peak, beautiful and bright-minded. His only issue with your lifestyle was your brainwashing, mind filled with feminist and liberal thought that went against all the morals and values he grew up with. It was something he had to fix, something he didn’t want to leave alone and fester and rot your brightness.

Your mother worked so much, she flied offshore multiple times a month, leaving you to care for Ethan with the money she wired to you to look after yourselves. She worked and provided, and you watched the house and cared for Ethan’s schooling and life. You cooked, you cleaned the house, you watched your kid brother and you did everything a mother would for her child. You were left with such a big load without anyone to shoulder it with you, and that’s where he came in.

Your mother left him to his own devices, letting have free range of her home and her children, one third teen year old and another in her twenties. He cared for you when no one would, helping you ease the tent in and exhaustion off your shoulder, his hands wandering your body like he owned it, making it’s curves and grooves until he burned it into his mind.

You might fight and struggle, that pretty mouth of yours spewing delusions about not consenting to his advances, the age difference, the women’s rights and humanitarian rights that had his patience running thin. He truly hated what people put in your mind, the crazed and nonsensical ideas that went against familial values and would eventually break the family he envisioned building with you. Despite your thrashing and threats, he moved forward with his plan, splitting you apart on his girth, hips snapping and bottoming out until his tip kissed your gummy cervix.

He filled you up every moment he could, painting your walls with his thick, salty and viscous cum, listening to you mewl and cry, moaning out like a bitch until you milked him dry. He wrestled you in bed, bending you over his desk, paperwork left strewn across the room , then he’d fuck you in the living-room when Ethan was off to school, pressing you down to your knees and ploughing into you with reckless abandon, and he’d take you in your bed at night, folding you in half with your feet hanging off his shoulders and he slammed into your warm cunt. It was a perpetual cycle, a fill and refill schedule that would never tire him out and that would fuck your mind into the right space. He had to right the wrongs and that started with breeding you.

It really shouldn’t be that surprising that he knocked you up after a few months, a new life growing in your little womb that he drowned with cum.

Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @cassiecasluciluce @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @infpt-zylith @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts 

[twistyfish]

prompt~ rafayel fluff -> angst where he’s rude and apologizes after. requested by anon!

“Why did you paint my acne scars so clearly?”

“Because they’re on your face!”

While you were normally impressed by Rafayel’s attention to detail, today it was making you very self conscious. “Was there really a reason to include them, though? They’re temporary marks that aren’t a part of me. And you literally drew the individual pores on my nose- Raf, this is so unflattering.”

“Quit micromanaging me. Art isn’t supposed to judge itself, you know.”

You huffed at his response. “But art is supposed to be pretty. This is not pretty. It’s uncanny. It looks too much like me, I don’t like it.”

He chuckled. “You don’t like that the portrait I’m painting of you looks like you? You’re so interesting, cutie.”

“Stop, you know what I mean.”

He didn’t turn his head, but his gaze flitted to meet yours before returning to the canvas. “Just trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

You watched the brush flutter around the canvas like moth wings, leaving intricate strokes in its wake. As Rafayel became more engrossed in his process, you left him to work and went out with a few girls from your team.

You had a nice time catching up with them and getting coffee. Well, two of you got coffee and Tara got hot chocolate.

When you returned a few hours later, he was staring at the painting with a look of intense scrutiny. You walked up to him quietly.

A little too quietly, because when you put a hand on his shoulder, he tensed and his paintbrush created a small splotch on the canvas mid-stroke.

“Oh! I’m sorr-“ you started, but he cut you off.

“Are you kidding me? I just finished painting that section.”

Your heart sank a little. You felt genuinely apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I don’t care what you meant to do. You ruined it. There’s a huge smudge over the nose.” His shoulders were tense, and he was holding himself more rigidly than he had been when you left.

“Raf, I think you should take a break.”

“Oh, so just because I’m upset that you interfered with my painting, I’m being irrational?”

“That’s not what I-“

“Don’t think I didn’t notice. The spot where you made me mess up is right on top of the part you didn’t like. If you’re that insecure, you shouldn’t have asked me to paint you.”

Your mouth opened slightly. “What?” You said harshly.

“You heard me. Why ask me to paint your face if you’re going to criticize me every step of the way?”

“Stop. I accidentally startled you and you made a mistake because of it. Are you seriously accusing me of sabotaging your painting because of that?”

“Maybe.”

You stared at him blankly. “I can’t believe you.”

“I can’t believe you either.”

You shook your head and picked up your bag, walking toward the exit. You weren’t going to argue with him like this.

Your mind spun. Why was he acting like this?

Fortunately, he seemed to come to his senses fast because you didn’t even make it halfway home before the phone rang. You accepted the call half heartedly.

“Hey,” his voice rang through the phone.

“Hi,” you said with a flat tone.

“I’m a dick.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have called you insecure and I shouldn’t have accused you of anything. I’m the one who messed up.”

“It’s not a huge deal, but yeah, you shouldn’t have.”

“No, it was unnecessary. And what I said about me not painting you? That was stupid. I love painting you. I would paint you all day if I could. I can’t capture your likeness perfectly, but trying to recreate that radiance makes me so, so happy.”

Your lips spread into a smile hearing that. “Really?”

“Really. I got too defensive over my art of you, but that wasn’t cool because I snapped at the real you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Raf. I forgive you.”

“Yay!”

[thewritetofreespeech]

Would you be willing to do a Gerhard Fra x Nanny reader, they are younger than the usual nanny age but both parties in this regard were desperate. The reader gets along with Angelico very well. Angelico loves story time with the reader even more. After a year or so with them, Angelico wonders why they haven’t come back to finish a story. Gerhard tries to explain him what a “day off” is, it doesn’t register with his son. Angelico sneaks out and tries to find the reader, causing Gerhard to almost freak out. The reader is holding Angelico in their arms asleep and walking towards Gerhards home when they meet eachother.

“What were you thinking?!”

The children all flinch collectively at Gerhard’s harsh tone. The usually reserved noble yelling for once, letting them know he was serious. “We…we didn’t mean it….”

“So you just ran out into the streets by accident?! With no plan or regards for your safety?! There is a killer on the loose!”

Elena flinched further back and began to sniffle, quickly comforted by her sister. “Oy, Gerhard, I get you’re upset but please don’t yell at my kids.” Henrique urged him. “They’re just little girls.”

“Exactly! Little girls & boys. They shouldn’t be outside at all at this hour, much less in unknown streets with commoners!”

“It..It’s my fault.” Theodore pipped up them. Stepping forward with his brave little hands clenched. “I should have stopped them. As the oldest, it’s my responsibility to make sure they don’t get into trouble.”

Gerhard sighed and pinched his nose. “Your apology is appreciated, young Theodore, but surely even you know that you are not responsible for children when you yourself are a child.” The lord then leveled another look at the children. “Whose idea was this?”

“I wanted to see [Y/N]!” Angelico announced, shouting back at his father. “I wanted to see my nanny!”

Gerhard sneered. They were lucky [Y/N] even found them in this city and brought them home. Whatever miracle it was that granted their swift return, it would not save Angelico however. “I told you, Angelico, Miss Clara is your nanny now while we are staying at Dali’s! You have to accept that!”

“No!” Angelico shouted back. Even stomping his foot. “I don’t want her! I want [Y/N]! She’s way better and doesn’t smell like old people!”

“Angelico!” Gerhard had never seen his son behave so poorly. Perhaps this environment was not the best for him after all….

“Angelico, you can’t say things like that about people.” The boy sniffled as he turned to look back at [Y/N]. Who then placed their hand on his shoulder. “Miss Clara is working hard to take care of all of you. You should be more thoughtful of her effort.”

“But it’s not the same….” He was seconds away from crying, but [Y/N] just smiled softly and brushed his cheek.

“I know. But just because things are different, it doesn’t mean that they’re bad. Remember when they change the color in your room? You didn’t like that at first and now it’s your favorite color.” Angelico nodded. “So, it’s just like that. I’m…sure things will get back to normal here soon and we can play again.”

Their hesitation was indicative of their knowledge that they may not have a job anymore. How long this hiatus in their employment would be with Dali's ridiculous plan was unknown, but it couldn't go on forever. They needed to work. To make money.

Gerhard wishes that he could have them back as well. Angelico had had many nannies in his short life, but none of them he had attached to as fiercely as [Y/N].

“Perhaps I have a suggestion,” Gerhard, Angelico, and [Y/N] all turn to look at Clara. Seeming to appear, as always, just when people needed her. “Perhaps [Y/N] could come to work under the Delico estate for a time. I am indeed getting older, and it is hard to keep up with all the little ones just as one person. [Y/N] could keep up with them better, then I would have more time to focus on Master Ul and some of the other chores.”

They all looked surprised, but Angelico’s eyes brightened like a new penny. “Yes! Yes Father please!”

“What do you think, Master Dali?”

“I think it’s a grand idea.” Dali chimed in at Clara’s question. “I suppose I have been a little inconsiderate putting 4 other children on you with no assistance. So, what do you say [Y/N], do you want to come work for the Delico estate?”

[Y/N] seemed surprised, but before they could answer Gerhard stepped in. “Absolutely not!” He bellowed. “[Y/N] is under the employ of the Fra estate. They will continue as such for the remainder of their employee, and I will cover their wages!”

Dali chuckled. “Whatever you say Gerhard.”

The matter seemed settled, but before Angelico was ushered out with the other children, Gerhard stopped him. “We’re not done. You are to go to bed and not make a peep until the morning. Your punishment will be delivered then.”

The younger Fra looked anxious, but did not argue. He then looked to [Y/N] and asked, “will you finish the story?” Gerhard arched a brow. Story?

“Maybe tomorrow.” They told him. “For now, listen to your father and get to bed.” And Angelico did just that.

“Sorry for all the fuss,” [Y/N] apologized when they & Gerhard were alone. “I really didn’t think he’d go out into the city on his own.”

“Nor did I.” Gerhard agreed. “But…you seem very important to him. I hadn’t realized.”

“Well, given the situation with the little lord’s mother and before….” They trailed off. Not commenting on how distance he had been with his son before. “It’s nice to see you spending more time with him, sir.” Gerhard made a noise in his throat, but no further comment. “Should I return tomorrow to get started.”

“Um…yes.” He hadn’t really planned much further than that. “Please speak to Clara about arrangements. I trust you still have your uniform?” [Y/N] nodded. “Good. Please see that you have it on. Dali’s staff may be more lax, but we will show them the pride of House Fra.”

[Y/N] nodded more firmly this time. “Yes sir!”

They then left to return home and get ready for tomorrow presumably. In the evening, Gerhard went to check on his son. Finding him safe and asleep. He would not deny that Angelico missing earlier had terrified him, but he was grateful [Y/N] had brought him home. It would be good to have them with them again. Gerhard could always trust [Y/N]. It hadn't occurred to him until now that he needed them too, almost as much as his son.

[nqueso-emergency]

I just need to get something off my chest and you have an audience so I figure why not… it really upsets me when people in this fandom use the Mexican card for Eddie to be queer. I’m gay and Mexican myself, so it should be very easy for me to relate to Eddie if he were gay coded, but sadly he’s not. A lot of this so called coding is fan made and taken out of context like the performance line he gave to Hen, and the repressed catholic guilt that Eddie is supposed to be feeling. Would it upset me if Eddie were queer? Absolutely not, but I do feel like there needs to be so much work done narratively speaking for that to make sense, because not a lot of people want to accept this, but the “queer coding” has always been there for Buck, and funny enough unintentionally Tommy. Things just somehow managed to line up for these characters, the way they haven’t lined up for Eddie, and that’s fine! They can keep the gay Eddie headcanon, but they shouldn’t feel entitled to push it towards canon when canon is rejecting it. When it comes to queer Mexican representation I would like to see it when it’s done right, but that’s not the case here. Eddie is based off an archetype of the Hispanic youth who grow up too fast by having a kid, I see him in many of my cousins and extended family members, and all their stories are just as good and worthy of being told.

Wonderful perspective!

[nochukoo97]

when you get into an argument

main work | masterlist

pairing: boxer!jungkook x boxer!reader

wc: 1.5k+

“You’re in a match against who?” An exasperated gasp leaves your mouth upon hearing the name of a particular person.

“Eunwoo,” Jungkook leans forward to put down his cup, before facing you on the couch, “Got set up with him again,”

“He’s going to be harder on you considering you beat him in the last match though,” You mutter, voice quieting down as you notice Jungkook frowning at you.

“Are you doubting me?” He hums, not breaking eye contact as you shake your head, stretching out your legs to lay them on his lap.

His hands automatically stroke over the soft skin of your legs, noticing you were a little colder than usual, so he reaches for the blanket laid on the couch and covers your legs.

“No,” You tell him honestly, you’ve never doubted Jungkook’s strength once, “I’m just saying he could poke you in the wrong way-”

“I’ll be fine, ___,” He sighs, cutting you off abruptly as you now frown at him, feeling the tensions rising already.

“Okay,” You hum, shrugging as you curl your legs against your body, removing the weight that once was on your boyfriend’s lap.

“I won’t do anything bad, I promise,” He tells you softly now, sensing you were still unsure about this whole thing. To be fair, Jungkook only wanted another match with Eunwoo to prove once again that he could beat the guy, since Eunwoo had been constantly asking for a rematch, claiming he would take Jungkook down. Who was he to not accept the offer?

“But you know what almost happened last time,” You sigh, leaning your head back onto the arm rest of the couch as you stretch.

“I’m not a kid, I can handle him fine,” His voice grows with frustration, maybe even a hint of annoyance, “Anyways I’ll win him this time again, it doesn’t matter what he says, I know my strengths,”

“I didn’t say you were being a kid, I meant that you know too how Eunwoo can be,” You wince slightly thinking about the guy, “He knows how to annoy his opponents through words and won’t back down,”

“I know him, he’s my opponent, I’ve played against him for years now, so I don’t know why you’re the one telling me about him,” Jungkook’s voice raises ever so slightly, as you simply nod, deciding it was better to not say anything further, the tension in the room had been already so suffocating, you didn’t want to fight with your boyfriend.

“___, you know what I mean,” He sighs, his voice slightly softer this time, but you don’t give him much of a reply.

Jungkook only gets another hum from you as he watches you open up your book, diverting your attention away from him.

-

“You got everything?” You call out from the kitchen, quickly packing up a small lunch for Jungkook to take with him.

“Yeah, thanks baby,” He shuffles into the kitchen, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead as you hand him the lunchbox, patting his shoulder.

You couldn’t attend his match since you had an online lecture to attend, juggling school and boxing was definitely not an easy task, but you somehow managed to get through everyday fine.

Your unresolved conflict was still in the back of your mind, his too. You weren’t going to lie, you could still feel the tension from him, the way he only pecked your forehead instead of giving you a proper kiss, the way he didn’t hug you this morning, instead mumbling a quick “morning,”.

Your heart aches a little as you watch him walk out the door, maybe you shouldn’t have expected him to walk back to you to give you a proper goodbye, his goodluck kiss before a match.

-

You should be laughing right now at how predictable the outcome was. Here you are, on the phone with Jungkook’s manager as you quickly gather up your stuff, grabbing your car keys as you head out the door.

“___, I swear you have to pick him up right now,”

“Exactly what did he do?” Your panting, from running all over the house trying to fetch your belongings before running to your car.

“I’m not sure, they broke out in a fight in the preparation room, no one was there until I walked in, but he definitely has a scratch on his face,” You hear his manager sigh over the phone, probably expecting this to happen as well.

“I’m on my way, I gotta hang up now,” You press the end call button and start your car, trying your best to keep within the speed limit as you rush over.

-

When you open the door that has Jungkook’s name labeled on it, you’re met with him sitting on the couch and staring at his shoes, as if he knew you were coming.

“Pack up your things,” Your voice is monotonous as you tell him, not walking further into the room as you stand at the doorway, watching as he scrambles to pick up his bag and gloves.

You seriously don’t want to be mad at him, not after his fight got called off, meaning that he would have lost a ton of money betting on him. But the fact that the both of you had gotten into an argument about this happening, it just fueled your frustrations further, not to mention the fact that you may get a very upset email from your lecturer later for suddenly leaving the online class.

The walk to the car is silent, too silent for Jungkook’s liking. To be fair, it was his fault for walking on thin ice with Eunwoo, maybe he did throw in an insult or two, but he definitely did not expect Eunwoo to throw in a punch after calling the guy weak.

You get in the driver’s seat of the car, not bothering to glance at your boyfriend once as he sits in the passenger seat, head tilted towards you, waiting for your next move.

“Are you mad?” Jungkook breaks the silence first. It’s almost insane how wobbly and quiet his voice has gotten, considering it’s the same man who does boxing for a living.

A scoff leaves your mouth as you turn to him, clearly upset that you had to leave mid-lecture to pick your boyfriend up, for what? For punching his opponent because of their long rivalry with each other.

“You think? I told you already, it wasn’t a good idea, and you told me you wouldn’t do anything!” Your voice raises slightly as you cross your arms, waiting for his reply.

“I didn’t start it, he hit me first,” Jungkook tells you, his tone suggesting he had not fully understood why you were so upset right now.

“Jungkook,” You deadpan, he winces at the lack of a pet name. “You don’t get it? Even if he hits you, you don’t hit back! You’re not in the ring for goodness sake, if word goes out that you retaliated back at him, do you even know how much risk your career would be at?”

He lowers his head, keeping silent. You were right, he knew you were upset for a valid reason.

“I know it’s hard not to retaliate back, but it’s the one thing you need to do, to not punch the guy back! It just goes to show that the both of you aren’t thinking straight, I thought at least you would be sensible enough not to retaliate,” You sigh, starting the car without waiting for his reply.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything, only stares out the window as the both of you drive home in silence. His heart ached a little at your harsh yet true words, all he could do was sit in regret and hope that you would not stay mad at him for long.

-

When you pull into the car park and park the car, Jungkook waits for you to say something. The silence is killing him. But you simply grab your bag and shut the car door, not waiting for him to get out.

He flinches slightly at the car door shutting a little louder than usual, watching as you walk towards the lift lobby of your shared apartment, he quickly unbuckles his seatbelt and rushes to catch up.

“I’m really sorry,” He whispers, slightly glossy eyes staring straight at you, but you don’t look back at him.

“You don’t need to be sorry to me Jungkook, I just warned you about this happening and you insisted it won’t, yet here we are,” You huff, walking out the lift as it opens.

Fuck, he messed up big time. Jungkook wants to turn back time, to maybe have listened to you carefully and not say such harsh words when this was where he ended up. He had never seen you so mad before, so mad at him, to be specific.

He doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know what to say. He watches as you walk into the kitchen to reheat tonight’s dinner, but his heart pounds in his chest, his heart aches as he watches you grow in frustration when the microwave’s buttons falter. Jungkook is dying to help you, but he’s afraid, afraid that you’re too mad at him to even be around him.

taglist: @sparklingocean @idkjustlovingbts @moonstar127 @babybella337 @ane102 @synnfulqt

[forever-rogue]

Spidey Senses

AN | You never fight with Peter, sometimes things change. Luckily, you love your Spider more than anything❤️

Pairing | tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 3.5k

Masterlist | Main | Peter

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You’re thinking too loudly.”

You remained silent as you gently wiped away the dried blood from the gash on his shoulder. You hadn’t said much to him since he came home but that didn’t stop you from taking care of him. You always took care of him, that had never been a question. 

When you were done patching him all up, you moved to rinse out the blood from the washcloth under the hot water, watching as the water went from crimson to clear. You felt his eyes on you the entire time. 

“I don’t think you want to hear what I’m thinking, Peter,” you caught his eye in the mirror, a heavy frown on your features that caused him to hang his head with a heavy sigh. You turned to leave the bathroom, but he caught your wrist, fingers wrapping delicately onto your soft skin, “Peter. I just want to go to bed. Please.”

“Tell me,” he insisted softly as you closed your eyes and sighed heavily, “whatever it is, just let me hear it.”

“Fine,” you turned around and faced him; Peter could see that your eyes were already wet with unshed tears, “fine - you want to know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking that…you need to slow down, Peter. You keep coming home hurt and it’s only been getting worse lately. I know it’s selfish to say but do you know how hard it is to see you like that? I…you have Miles - New York has Miles. He can handle himself and he can and will ask for help if he needs it. But maybe it’s time to let him do more and you can…just slow down a little. I just want to know that you’re going to come home and that you’re going to come home alive.”

“I am Spider-Man,” his lips were drawn into a harsh line as he narrowed his eyes at you, “I can’t just slow down. And I can’t just leave Miles with everything, he’s still young, and he’s still learning. This is who I am.”

“You were young once too and there was no one around to help,” you reminded him, “and you were okay. He has you and he’s a smart kid; there are things he can handle. I’m not saying that you can’t or shouldn’t be Spider-Man, Pete. I would never say that.”

“Then why are you saying anything?” he stared at the ceiling for a moment before groaning lightly, “you don’t know what it’s like. You don’t get that I can’t just walk away from this.”

“You’re right,” you’d pulled back slightly from the harsh tone in his voice; he’d never talked to you in such a harsh tone before, “I don’t know what it's like. But I do know what it’s like to love you and I know how hard it is to watch you work yourself into the ground - it’s absolutely horrible. It’s just…we’re not getting younger, Pete. We’ve talked about getting married and starting our family - how are we going to do that when you’re gone so often and hurt?”

“You don’t…” he ran his hands over his tired face in exasperation, “I don’t think you realize what you’re asking for. I’m fine. If it’s just because you don’t want to deal with me anymore, just say it.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” you angrily swiped away the tears that rolled down your cheeks, “I love you, Peter. I want a future with you, but I can’t have that if you’re not around for it! Maybe it’s still hard for you to accept that people care about you and only want the best for you. You take care of everyone else, but you have to let people take care of you too.”

“If I needed someone to take care of me, I would say something,” he hissed softly, “I’m fine, everything is fine. If you’ve got such a problem with it then maybe…maybe we shouldn’t be together then.”

Your mouth dropped open from the sheer shock of what he had just said. Something was going on with Peter, even if he wasn’t willing to admit to it. You gnawed on your cheek in order to keep from crying or making any sort of sound. You held up your hands in defeat and walked into the bedroom. Without even thinking about it, you went to the closet and grabbed out a duffle bag and started piling in some clothes, not paying attention to what was getting thrown into the bag. 

“I think I’m going to leave and give you space for a bit. We’re not going to figure anything out right now,” you whispered in a broken tone. Peter’s stomach lurched as he watched you pack; how did things escalate so quickly? He wanted to take it all back; he wished he would rewind the last half hour. 

“Don’t go,” he tried to stop you gently but you shook your head, “honey.”

“I don’t want to fight,” your voice was so gentle that he might not even have heard it if it was not for his enhanced senses. Peter sat down on the edge of the bed and watched you pack, feeling helpless and pathetic. He shouldn’t ever have talked to you that way. He was stupid. Stupid.

“Where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted, “I’ll see if I can stay with MJ or Harry or something. Don’t worry about it, Peter. It's fine."

He fell into silence as he watched you pack your necessities without any rhyme or reason. You really just wanted to get out of there and away from him; that killed him.

Once your bag was packed, you paused in the doorway and turned to give him one last look. The corner of your mouth pulled up into a sad little smile, but the light never reached your eyes. He gave you a small nod but neither of you said anything. 

He listened to your footsteps as you left the house and got into your car. Peter had really fucked up now.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You wanna tell me why your girlfriend’s been staying with MJ for the past couple of days?” Miles turned his face away and busied himself with fiddling on the sleeve of his suit. He’d noticed that Peter had been in a mood lately and then he saw you at MJ’s when he went to pick something up from her. Miles was a smart kid and it wasn’t long before he put the pieces together. He was just curious - and concerned - about Peter. He’d never seen him down like this before and he hated it, “j-just curious.”

“Miles,” he yanked the mask off his face and leaned against the door. The two of them were on a random rooftop, keeping an eye on things despite the quiet night. He turned to face the younger man and Miles could see how tired and run down he looked, “it’s…been a lot.”

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, but you can talk to me Pete,” he nudged his arm and offered him a meek smile. Peter had been there for him for so long and through so many hard times he wanted him to know that he was there for him as well, “but if you ever need someone to talk to…”

“Thanks Miles,” he reached over and gave the boy’s shoulder a squeeze, “I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“Pete,” Miles hopped onto his feet and crossed his arms over his chest, "I'm going to worry even if you say not to."

"You're a good kid," he offered his protégé a half smile.

"I'm not a kid anymore," Miles huffed in response, "and you're getting old."

He half expected a laugh to come from the older man; instead all he heard was a small huff seemingly in agreement. Peter paused for a moment before meeting Miles' eyes, "that's the problem, isn’t it?”

"Whaddaya mean?" all sorts of bad thoughts crossed his mind. What if Peter was sick? Or something bad happened? What if-

"I know I'm getting older and things are different than they used to be," he leaned his back against the wall before whispering your name, "she brought it up the other day - that I'm not getting any younger and that I should…let go a little bit. I didn't take it well and we got into an argument and I said dumb things I shouldn't have."

"She's not wrong," Miles sat down in front of Peter and shrugged, "I mean it, its the same for me too. She just wants you around more, Pete. She’s put up with your ass for so long now. Have you apologized for what happened?"

 "No," he grimaced, "I haven't. I don't know what to say. I mean, I basically told her we should break up. I didn't mean it."

"Of course you didn't," he snored in amusement, "you're disgustingly in love."

Peter smiled at that; it was true after all. You were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life, he wanted everything with you, "I just don't know what to say. Or even if she'd want to listen. Maybe she's done with me."

"You're so stupid," Miles scoffed as Peter couldn't help the bark of laughter that escaped him, "she's not breaking up with you. She's just waiting for you to get your head out of your ass."

"Yeah?" Peter wanted to believe Miles was right, desperately so, because he couldn't imagine a life without you. That was not a life he wanted in any way.

"Parker," the younger spider stood back up and pulled the mask over his face, "get up and let's move. You're getting too pathetic for me."

"Yeah, yeah," he watched as Miles jumped off the roof, moving to follow suit. His body was more tired and stiff today; it was like everything you had lovingly pointed out was slowly coming to light. Peter sighed softly at the thought before concealing his identity again. 

He followed after Miles, a million thoughts swirling in his mind. At the end of it all, they all came back to you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"You've been moping around for days now," MJ wasn't wrong. You'd shown up at her apartment in the late night hours after your fight with Peter and she'd welcomed you without hesitation. Although only small details of what happened had come to light, Mary Jane Watson was a smart woman and had more or less put the pieces together, "are you either going to tell me the whole story or just continue being sad?"

"Shut up," you groaned playfully, throwing the big couch blanket over your face, "its nothing."

"I know you, and Pete, and you're both terrible liars," MJ pulled the blanket away, a knowing little look on her face. You pulled your knees up to your chest and rested your chin on top of them before letting out a sound somewhere between a groan and a sigh, “c’mon. What’s wrong?”

“Pete and I had a fight and it got a little heated,” you confessed, “he came home hurt and I was upset and it just…turned out all wrong. I told him that I hated seeing him hurt and that I thought maybe he should consider slowing down his…duties a little bit. He didn’t take it well.”

“I’m sure it was just the moment,” she always had this calming aura around her and you already felt a tiny bit better, “it’s not like Pete to argue or…be mean.”

“I know,” you could count the number of times the two of you had what you would consider an actual argument on one hand, “I think it just went a little far and I’d thought it was best to give him some distance. He…umm, and I know he didn’t mean it but he said that if I wasn’t okay with him being Spider-Man then maybe we should break up.”

“He actually said that?” her brow furrowed as you nodded meekly, “that’s not like him…but you know he didn’t mean it.”

“I know,” you sure hoped it was true anyway, “it’s just because I care about him, you know? We’ve talked about maybe starting to grow our family and I just wonder how he’s going to handle everything he normally does on top of having a baby. Plus, I hate seeing him get hurt and so exhausted all the time. I don’t want to take anything away from him, I just want him. I want him home and safe and cared for. And I hate the idea that he thinks I’d ever want him to stop being Spider-Man.”

“If he has any sense he’ll know that,” the redhead promised, “it might just take a minute for him to catch up. He is a man after all.”

At that you laughed, a full and true laugh that you hadn’t experienced in what felt like ever. You’d give Peter his space, but you hoped that at the end of the day he would come home to you, or rather, you would go home to him. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You almost jumped out of your seat at the kitchen table when you heard the loud and heavy knocking at the door. Scrambling out of the chair you darted to the door and peeked into the hallway to see who was at the door. To your surprise, you found a very anxious Peter Parker standing there. Your heart skipped a few beats as you hesitated on whether or not to open the door.

“I know you’re there,” he said softly, “I can hear your heartbeat.”

"What are you doing here, Peter?" You kept the mostly shut, leaving just enough room for you to poke your head out. It had been almost a week since you'd seen him and he didn't look much better than when you'd left. Your expression softened, any residual anger melting away. You could never stay mad at him.

"I wanted to talk to you," he almost choked on his words as he allowed himself to steal a peek at you, "and I want you to come home."

Home. The house that was one May Parker's was now his - yours. Together you had taken the good old memories and made even more of your own. You loved it there, and you loved it even more with Peter. 

“I think we should talk before we make any decisions,” part of you wanted to jump into his arms and squeeze the life out of him and kiss him and everything, but you didn’t. Instead you opened the door a little wider and motioned for him to come inside; MJ was out but you figured she wouldn’t care.

“I love you,” he blurted out before he even stepped inside, his cheeks turning a subtle shade of pink. Your mouth opened in surprise but you couldn’t deny the fact that it warmed your heart. There were still bits and pieces of the boy you’d fallen in love with so many times under there. 

“I love you too, Pete,” you motioned for him to follow you as you walked into the living room, taking a seat on the couch across from him. He sat down slowly, hesitantly, trying to get a read on you. But you had your best poker face on and weren’t showing your cards in the slightest, “you know that no matter what, I’ll always love you.”

His shoulders shagged with relief at your revelation; not that he had really doubted that but sometimes reassurance was needed. He nervously played with his hands, trying to gather his words; he had so much to say but wasn’t sure if he could manage to get it all out. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, and you reached over to give his hands a small squeeze. 

“It’s okay,” you whispered, “just talk to me.”

“I’m sorry for how I acted that night,” he whispered, “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I didn’t mean it when I said I thought that maybe we should break up. I don’t want to break up - I want you.”

“I hope you know that I never want anything but the very best for you,” he closed his eyes and nodded gently. Of course he knew that, you’d never given any reason to doubt that, “I never wanted to upset you, Pete.”

“I know,” he swallowed, a thick lump welling up in his throat, “I’ve always known that. It’s just that…I don’t know if I can just slow down and leave Spider-Man behind.”

“Peter,” you moved closer to him, your voice so soft and gentle that it almost made him cry, “slowing down doesn’t mean you’re leaving Spider-Man behind. You’re always going to be Spider-Man, nothing is going to change that. But it’s okay to let go a little and trust that Miles will be there for the city. And maybe some else in the future, maybe a whole gang of spiders. But you’ve been doing this for a long time, Peter. You deserve to rest too, you know.”

He looked up at you, teary-eyed and you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around him, hugging onto him tightly; had the hug been reversed he would have probably crushed you but you wanted him to know how much you loved him, “I’m sorry.”

He melted into your arms, nuzzling his face into your neck, his breathing growing ragged. You rubbed his back soothingly, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear. His tears soaked into the cotton of your shirt but it didn’t matter at all to you -  all you wanted was for him to know he was loved and safe. 

After a while of holding him you pulled yourself out of his tight grasp and took his face in your hands, brushing away the drying tears on his face, “hey, it’s alright. I’ve got you. I’m not forcing you to do anything, I’m just giving you my opinion of what I’m seeing. Ultimately, it’s up to you, Pete. But you have to take care of yourself too. Will you at least try that? If not for you, I’ll be selfish and ask you to do it for me.”

“I will,” he turned his face so he could place a kiss into the palm of your hand, “I do want to marry you a-and start our family. Like we’ve always talked about.”

The way your eyes lit up was enough to indicate to him that whatever decisions he made or steps he took to make that future a reality would be worth it. You were worth it. You leaned in and kissed him tenderly, “yeah?”

“Yeah,” he promised, “I think you’re right about what you said and I think deep down I’ve known it too. It’s just so hard to admit it in a way.”

“It’s not saying goodbye,” you reminded him, “it’s just slowing down a little bit and taking moments for yourself.”

“I’ll work on it,” he decided it was a vow that he was going to keep it, “but if I’m ever an idiot, just remind me that I’m an idiot.”

“I have no problem with that,” you grinned excitedly, “my sweet Spider.”

“And I’m sorry,” he ran his hands up and down your sides, squeezing them gently, “really. For the things I said and how I acted. I shouldn’t have lashed out like that at you.”

“Apology accepted,” you took his hands in yours and held them tightly in turn, “thank you.”

“Will you come home?” he was nervous to ask but all he wanted was for you to be back home with him; it felt so strange and foreign without, “I-I understand if you don’t want right now but-”

“Of course,” you cut him off with a finger to his lips, “I want to come home. Plus, I think MJ will be glad to get rid of me moping around all the time. I missed you a lot, Pete.”

“I missed you so much,” he crushed you to his chest, causing you to laugh softly, “I can’t wait to have you back. I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.”

“Me too, Pete,” you burrowed yourself into his warm body as much as you could. You were already home. Peter would always be your home, “I love you, Spidey. My Spidey."

That made him beam brighter than the sun, “I love you too, honey.”