#and I say this as someone who’s only seen clips and memes

[ponds-of-ink]

Here’s an out-of-pocket thought I’ve had related to FNAF.

You know how Blumhouse (who’s making the FNAF movie) typically works with Universal?

And you also know how Universal has the Simpsons in their theme parks?

What if— and this is a stretch here— the one of the very first mainstream TV shows to properly reference/parody FNAF is the Simpsons? In a Treehouse of Horror Episode, mostly likely.

[neonacidtrip]

I’m developing a new chart system

[caramel-ribbons]

I just watched Avatar for the first time all the way through, and yeah, it’s great, but the one thing that surprised me was how different Katara was compared to the fandom interpretation I’d seen and internalized before watching.

Like, before you watch Avatar, you’ve seen all these memes about Katara and her mom, and based on those memes, you assume it’s one of those lines you have to get used to hearing at least once every episode. But then you watch the show and realize that she only talks about her mom maybe five or six times per season and you also realize she only brings her up when she’s trying to comfort someone or empathize with them because that’s how she processes her grief and that’s one way she connects with people.

Or you hear the infamous line, “then you didn’t love [our mother] the way I did” and you prepare yourself for one of the worst character assassinations ever only to see the scene after nearly three seasons worth of context and realize she was kinda right. She’s been the mother, the nurturer, the comforter. She’s been patient, gentle, and accommodating where everyone else has gotten to be insensible and reckless and childish, and the one moment where she allows herself to feel her grief, suddenly she’s this evil bitch and not, y’know, a 14 year old girl whose been thrusted into adulthood in a way no other character has. A 14 year old girl who should be allowed immaturity and raw emotion and anger instead of the patience and grace she’s been forced to extend to every character without even the smallest amount of gratitude or even consideration in return.

Or you see all of the clips where Katara puts Aang in the “friendzone” and you expect to have this wishy washy back and forth where Aang is putting his feelings out there only to have Katara neither commit nor express any clear reciprocation or rejection. Then you watch and realize that, as cute as the ship is initially, that there’s never a point where Aang returns any comfort or grace to Katara despite her always doing this for him to the point of coddling. That for as much as Aang says he loves her, he never seems to outgrow his perception of her so he can recognize her as someone who feels grief, anger, and pain as much as she expresses love, kindness, and maturity. And instead of having moments where he learns to see her beyond her strength or compassion, you’re instead given moments where Aang forces his feelings onto her, both romantic and non-romantic, and Katara is expected to just…shoulder those feelings the way she shoulders everyone else’s.

Katara is the most misunderstood character in the show. As much as people recognize the complexities of Zuko, Sokka, and Azula, they struggle to do the same for Katara because they see her struggles as somehow lesser, and therefore, less deserving of sympathy. They can handle her so long as she’s being endlessly patient and loving and kind, but the moment her endless love, patience, and kindness runs out, she’s suddenly this annoying bitch who can’t shut up about her mother or reciprocate Aang’s feelings. But Katara’s trauma does matter as much as anyone else’s. No, she wasn’t banished from her kingdom. No, she didn’t lose her entire community, and no, she isn’t the only one who lost her mother. But the difference between her and everyone else whose experienced loss because of the Fire Nation is that she’s never given time to process her trauma. Aang gets to lean on Katara constantly. Toph gets to express her feelings to Katara, and yeah, Sokka also lost their mother, but unlike Katara, he isn’t put in the position of being a substitute for everyone’s parent. He even admits that he sees his sister as a mother. The only characters who ever comfort Katara or allow her to vent is Zuko and her father and that’s, like, three scenes in a show where the other characters are consistently given opportunities to seek out Katara for unconditional support.

The fandom interpretation of Katara has been so bastardized that even those who haven’t watched the show know her for this fanon version and not for who she is. She’s such an interesting character beyond her fandom limitations, though. She’s brave, hot-headed, and hopeful as well as gentle and caring. She wishes to learn waterbending, not only because she wants to fight in the war, but because she wants to continue her culture’s practices because, and people often forget this, she also lost an entire subculture within her already fractured tribe. And she wants to defeat the Fire Nation both because of her deep love and empathy for other people, but also because she wants to avenge her mother. But because some of the fans have reduced Katara to a bitch who constantly whines about her mother and friendzones Aang, you wouldn’t know any of this, and it sucks because she’s the only character whose been dumbed down to such an extent.

[tinytalkingtina]

Fancy Falling Into You Here

Written for the August @steddiemicrofic prompt, using the word "plug" and 437 words.

437 words | Rating T | Ao3 link

On their first date, Steve and Eddie come to realize they had first met under much more embarrassing circumstances.

Tags: EMT Steve, Coffee shop owner/clumsy Eddie, first date, minor injuries (nothing described in detail), modern AU, embarrassment, BBC's Sherlock haunting all of us when plugging in our phones

Inspired by @dreamwatch for making me think of steddifying this post! Author's notes under the cut

"G-d damn BBC Sherlock," Eddie grumbled as he fumbled plugging his phone into its charging cable for a third time. "Stupid Benedict Cumberbatch and his weird attractive cheekbones." 

A snort from the couch reminded him he actually had company, oops.

Eddie gave his date a grin. "Sorry, I'd love to say that I'm normally as graceful as a swan or something, but as you've seen, unfortunately abject clumsiness is par for the course. It's a miracle my coffee shop's still standing."

It was fine. He could still salvage this and come off as less of a disgruntled sad wet cat man to Smooth Hottie with Glasses and That ButtTM of daily matcha latte with oat milk order fame. Still, Hottie (who went by "Steve", apparently) didn't really seem turned off by Eddie's whole deal. He just laughed.

"Oh, trust me, I've seen much worse. My first year as an EMT, we got a call to a college dorm. This unlucky dude fell off the top bunk and somehow broke both legs and an arm.”

Eddie froze, his quest to charge his phone completely forgotten.

“Plus the guy managed to down the shade on the way too, honestly it was an impressive amount of damage from a 4 foot drop," Steve continued on, oblivious. “One of the funniest calls me and my partner have gotten, and we once had to take care of someone who accidentally fell on a Buzz Lightyear toy and somehow got it stuck up their—you okay man?"

"I panicked and thought the cord would hold my weight." Eddie hid his face in his hands.

"Oh shit. You're 'broke all his bones man'?”

This was a nightmare. "Oh my G-d, I was so woozy. Please tell me I didn’t say anything weird.”

“You asked if I could ‘kiss your booboos better.’ Guess you’ve grown out your hair since?”

"I had to buzz it all off that semester because I had an Incident with some gum," Eddie groaned. "You can go now, I won't hold it against you."

He heard Steve slide closer. "And what makes you think your whole 'Bambi on ice' thing isn't working for me?"

Eddie cracked open an eye. "You sure about that?"

"Pretty sure," he said with a wink. "Plus, if you meet my friend Robin, she's known me since high school. Which means she unfortunately has photos of my braces years. You’re gonna have to stick around long enough to see em."

Eddie stared. Smooth Hottie still wanted him somehow? "Okay Big Boy, looks like I will." 

Steve smiled back. “Good. Now, lean back, I owe you a few kisses.”

Authors notes:

In case you weren't on Tumblr in the early-mid 2010's and remain blissfully unaware of BBC's Sherlock, please watch this clip to understand why Eddie is cursing Benedict Cumberbatch when he fails to plug in his phone fully sober

Eddie, Jeff, and Chrissy run a little coffee shop (complete with monthly open mic/karaoke nights) that EMTs Steve and Robin frequent. Not to worry, Robin will eventually meet her future wife Vickie at the shop after Vickie wins her heart with a rendition of "Before He Cheats."

Originally I had injured Eddie ask Steve about his biblically accurate angel form, but since I decided that Eddie's accident took place around 2010, and the angel meme only took off in 2020, I rewrote the line to be about kissing his booboos. Let's pretend this happens after a separate accident befalls Eddie (he'll be fine): Eddie: Ouch, I was out of it after they gave me the painkillers. I think I called you an angel? Steve: Yeah, you asked if my biblically accurate form had eyes as pretty as my human ones.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[Spoilers below cut]

Past Ink: Guys, it's fine. This isn't a serious episode, it would be too soon for another arc. It's just gonna be another silly Saturday.

Current Ink: ....

(the following is my live reaction:)

[*unholy screaming*] FOUR NOOOOOOOOOOOO

WOW WHAT A GREAT START TO THIS EPISODE, SCRATCH EVERYTHING THAT I SAID ABOUT THIS BEING A "NORMAL" EPISODE

NOPE I NEED TO PAUSE, I NEED TO TAKE A WALK BC I'M NOT GONNA GET OVER IT, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS COULD LEAD

they're not gonna do it in this episode BUT the fact that goop!4 is being acknowledged in every way possible, we might just have a sequel in our hands

NO NO NO CUT THE INTRO, I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED THE EPISODE YET AND YOU WANT ME TO MAKE A THEORY ON IT ALREADY? HOLD YOUR FUCKIN HORSES, I'LL GET THERE GEEZ

anyway, we have to press play...

I'm pretty sure someone already has done a pirate au (no I'm not over what I just watched) and anyway, artists: here's pirate SMG4

Four, you should've read the file name before downloading it [*shakes head*]

Wait, is this going to be a parody of computer buddies? That's actually pretty fun..... OH NO NO NO

Ah, so we are doing computer buddies

Actually, yeah, can we have Mario as president please

love how it says "no one even compares to mario. especially smg4 who sucks booty cheeks [or ass] and mario doesn't"

Observe as the SMG4 fandom gets terrified of the word "perfect" [*screams*]

MARIO MARIO NO NO NO HE DIDN'T SAVE

I felt that in my core omg

as a graphic designer, this hurts

apparently, there's a whole new dimension in our computers, Only in the SMG4 Universe [*cheesy thumbs up*]

We really are getting all the computer buddies, huh? I wonder if KinitoPET will appear

[*silver the hedgehog voice*] It's no use!

BRITISH SMG3

wow what a funny bit... WAIT HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE, LOOK AT THE MEDIA BOX

the eyes....

w̷̹̓e̷̼̽ ̸̯́n̴̩͆e̵̝̓v̴̼͑ë̵̤r̴͓͛ ̷̭͝l̵̦̎e̴̞͗f̵͉̐ṯ̴͗

and the left eye too... oh god, the EYE OF RA— [*gets shot*]

honestly, Four, you improved your aim ever since Western Spaghetti (ik you also did for PV but that's not the point)

I knew they were gonna bring in buff Luigi again

I'M SCREAMING

THERE IS NO WAY THE TEAM JUST DROPPED THAT ON US, THIS CAN'T BE REAL

ok first off, the fact that Four has a folder labeled "Super SECRET Spicy Memes" is giving "totally homework" folder energy (and I don't want to even think more about that)

hey, Four did say that Three brings some spice into his life (yeah, "rosemary to my bread" and all that jazz)

SECOND, the fact he has an image of SMG3 with him saying "whats the matter smg4 kun?"

THEN the "I know what you are" audio clip...

Four, buddy, you're down bad aren't you?

like "woah smg4's bisexual, I didn't know that", the closet is out of GLASS so we been knew but I DID NOT expect this

having Three be a tsundere is one thing, but FOUR....

🫵🏳️‍🌈⁉️

"they're dating behind the scenes" at this point, yeah

we have to keep going... [*secretly puts this clip on the fridge*]

I hate this so much /silly

[*chaos ensues*] [*sips my coffee*] just another tuesday saturday

GOTTA GO FAST GOTTA GO FAST— [*gets tazed*] i can never catch a break c'mon man

oh hey Swag!

four dollars is four dollars, you got yourself a deal

ok, I'm gonna need everyone to see Four's cute little hops here:

look at him go, my silly little goober :) oh, now you have? then let's keep going

holy shit, this fight scene is so well animated!!! LET'S GOOOO

never thought I'd see the day of seeing biblically accurate bonzi in an SMG4 episode and yet here we are.

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE SEEN IN MY LIFE, I'M ASCENDING

"...but they hugged before" NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

A normal hug, where two people cross each other and are unable to see the other's face since it's over their shoulder, is just as it is: a normal hug. It can be seen as platonic and/or romantic.

THIS is a lot more intimate. 3 and 4's heads touch while they hold each other by the hand. This type of hug is reserved more for romantic partners when the situation leads them to a devasting end, where they face each other to look at and remember what their partner looked like, one last time before they die.

In this case, it makes sense as the computer is collapsing within itself.

"It's not actually them tho." Yes, they're digital copies of 3 and 4 but that's the thing: they're COPIES, acting on what 3 and 4 would actually do

SMG34 shippers, we are eating GOOD today yum yum

but then, that begs the question: would there be a moment where 3 and 4 would reveal their feelings for each other at the worst possible time?

(you guys are not going to be ready for my next episode concepts) What, who said that?

uh anyway them 💙💜 gotta put it on the fridge

I feel for you, Four, but I have a horrible feeling about this

...

Foreshadowing is a literary device—

no seriously, I feel like this could be part of a future arc where a past villain would ruin everything Four has and would offer up a deal when Four would be the most desperate. There's always a catch. Hmm, why does that seem familiar...?

Your life's work or your friends, it's your call, SMG4

:)

HELL YEAH FOUR, THROW IT AWAY (omg just like how he chose Three over the USB, I'm crying dude)

also congrats to Ourstor08954957 for the lovely art in the end credits 🎉 such cute doodles ❤️

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Oh boy, what an episode. I feel like I'm in another plane of existence right now. Everything was absolutely incredible, great job Team!!

Everyone, say THANK YOU to whoever put the SMG34 crumbs in there, we shall treasure it for the rest of our lives. I'm gonna put those moments on my fridge. OH I would love to see the artists draw the SMG34 hug or pirate Four!

Love the fighting scene right by the end and the little details they have added in there. I guess it's "Torture Ink with the Idea that Goop!4 May Happen" day but hey, I'm so normal about it (no I'm not). I've been a bit stressed since finals are coming up so I'm thankful for anything this episode for me.

(If anyone is curious, the WOTFI website is still up and yes, I am logging its status just in case.)

I'm sure everyone is going crazy over this...

"They gay fr :3" [BenJoJoGV, Twitter]

🧍

BEN YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THESE THINGS—

[joyce-stick]

The Beef Stroganoff Song! (arbitrary subtitle discourse edition)

So, you may have noticed here that the subtitles in this clip (from Symphogear GX episode 3) are fairly different from what you're used to seeing when people post this video, and the phrasing in the subtitles is fairly different from what the associated memes often say

For those who don't know, Symphogear got itself released on blu-ray by Discotek, and with that came with a new translation authored by Noelle (@ulsairi on twitter ) who is notable for being the only trans lesbian anime translator I know of off the top of my head.

Her translation appears, in my opinion, really rather polished and very good, and I strongly appreciate the way it's written and how much character it adds to the dialogue by giving everyone distinct voices and adapting things into more natural English. It's also a fair bit gayer. I haven't encountered many people who've seen these subs, but I think most fans of the series would consider these a net positive change. There are some people who are mad about these subtitles, and they can die mad.

Anyway, let's talk about the different phrasing of the beef stroganoff song. I'm mostly going to compare to Crunchyroll's subtitles for reference since that seems to be what most others go off of. Here's a link to that version.

So right off the bat we can see here that while CR's translation appears to be a lot more, for lack of a better word, functional, Noelle's translation tries to apply more dialectal force "it's beef stroganoff/Yes! It's THAT beef stroganoff!" And generally communicate through the tone how excited the girls are to get started. Additionally you'll see throughout that the latter is a fair bit more lyrical, there's a lot more punctuation and verbal tics and filler phrases written into the dialogue to express that they are singing, which makes sense since Japanese tends to omit a lot of the sorts of prepositions that Noelle threw in here,

Like, Yumi (yes I went and looked up her name on the wiki) just says "beef stroganoffu" because it's obvious from context that it is beef stroganoff, she doesn't need to spell it out, at least, not in Japanese

(We know like maybe ten hiragana and 1 kanji do not trust us on Japanese this is all just basic shit we learned from online guides)

So this probably leads to a rushed translator from Crunchyroll (they are notoriously crunched for time) who's just trying to Get It Done probably not really bothering to throw in extra additional connecting letters to express the tone of the character, only doing so when it's required to make basic grammatical sense in the target language. So they likely didn't think to make the subtitles have flourishes like this that aren't explicitly in the original Japanese. Noelle meanwhile had the time to consider things like this and take such liberties in order to attempt to convey the same tone that was arguably implied by the Japanese, even if not explicitly put forth

And that's about all the things I should not repeat I guess, TL;DR, these subtitles are more fun to read because the translator had more time to think about the best way to make them more fun while still being accurate to the spirit of the original dialogue, who'd have thought!

(In case you're wondering, the Commie subtitles say kind of the same thing here, and y'know, it doesn't seem like a wrong translation, but also I really dislike this subtitle styling, orange on pink with that font and that drop shadow is just kinda bad. I appreciate the effort but like. Come on. Please fansubbers, please think about if the font and colors you chose actually work with the image you're putting them on)

Moving on!

horizontal and middle rhyme with each other so you can almost actually sing this, actually let me take a moment to try it right now- never mind, I can't sing. Hahaha. I don't actually think it lines up that well with the melody But I thought it did! Didn't I? That's significant, that this actually reads like plausible lyrics to a silly song someone made up instead of a literal translation of a Japanese song

Anyway, here comes the first major difference!

So in the Crunchyroll subtitles, Yumi says "it doesn't have to be beef" which in English (in my estimation) sounds a tad scatterbrained, like, "oh yeah sure beef but whatever really it doesn't actually matter," while Noelle's subtitles rather say "Got no beef? Don't you worry!" Which implies something different.

"It is recommended to use beef, but you may substitute something else if you are sorely lacking in beef" as opposed to "Oh the beef doesn't actually matter, zoinks lol!" CR's translation is kind of a bit funnier in how it sorta comes from nowhere without this qualification, which probably lead to this phrase's memeticness, but Noelle's translation seems more reasonable to me so yeah again, tada, yay for sensicalness.

Now here's another interesting change:

Again, the flat manner in which the CR subtitles say "finish with salt" with rendezvous only being included because that's literally what they said, is sort of absent any stronger emotional implication,

Noelle's translation meanwhile going with "don't forget them, they need it" imparts personhood upon the salt and pepper. The implication being that the girls are saying, "the salt and pepper are in love, please reunite them, they must be in gay love together." Or maybe you think the salt and pepper cannot be forgotten and must be reunited because they are Only Friends.

Whether you choose to believe that this is the salt and pepper getting married, or merely subtext, or an interpretation, or salt and pepper shipping bait, this is a deeply important tonal indicator because it reminds you that these girls are ultimately playing with their food!

"And there, now you're in for a treat!" I don't think I need to explain this one.

Now, here's an interesting one!

In the Crunchyroll subtitles, it just says the memetic "boys don't know this." With no context, no elaboration, no clarity, no qualifiers. Boys don't know. Did the boys magically get their brains wiped? Are the boys biologically incapable? Who knows. Nothing is said but that.

Noelle's subtitles, on the other hand, qualify this statement by saying "Boys aren't taught to cook, so they may not know" (And note again how, it says "kno-ow" to emphasize, once more, that they're singing, and also this lines up with the long "ooooo" sound they make at the end of this lyric, so cool)

There is now context! Boys aren't taught to cook! Anime and Japan's culture in general still pigeonholes people into gender roles! And an anime translator just wrote you a hidden translation note about it! You might be a boy, you might know how to cook, but certain boys in another part of the world aren't traditionally taught cooking, so they may not know

They may not, but they could!

Trust a trans person to express gender facts with subtle nuances like this in anime translations.

And with that lovely bit of good translation and good writing and good localization of a thing to make it make sense to people

Mew!

[devintrinidad]

Okay, but has everyone seen the newest sneak peek for Hazbin Hotel? Goodness, Charlastor/Radiobelle Shippers are feasting come Friday! I can just feel it!

Anywhoozles, just a bit of a thought, but!

At the end of the clip, we can hear Alastor talking in a sing-song voice! Could it be... that Alastor is going to sing to Charlie?

Throughout the series, Alastor has taken part in two songs. The first being Stayed Gone and and the second being Hell's Greatest Dad. Everyone knows and has memed on the fact that Alastor doesn't start songs, rather, he finishes them with great panache (or, in the case of HGD, he was on equal footing with Lucifer with no clear winner). He waits in the shadows and picks a time to butt in and ruin the singers day.

Yet! In the clip, he sounds like he's about to sing! This is a first for the series... except, we also have seen him initiate singing at one other time...

The pilot.

And who was he specifically singing to?

Charlie.

I'm just saying, to break your rhythm, your modus operandi of singing in a show that has been based specifically off Broadway musicals (where the music and the lyrics are meant to convey specific themes and messages to enhance the story), that is saying a lot. Not only is he initiating, this is the second time he's initiating with her.

And what's more, I think we're going to have a Charlastor duet. It's just a hunch, I have nothing backing this up, but what if? Because it seems like Charlie and Alastor need to have this conversation and I don't imagine Charlie is going to sit back and take it, not when she feels so betrayed and angry as seen in the clip. She's going to sing as well.

Just a thought that I have been harboring because.

What if they sing together and harmonize??? I think that would be so awesome and sweet!

So yeah, it says a LOT when a character who hangs back to strike is the one to initiate (playfully and without intent for rebuttal or malice.. but then again, this Alastor so maybe a little bit of malice) and possibly invite the other person in the room to sing with him.

A few more thoughts under the cut:

Before I say anything, this is going to go from somewhat plausible to just a daydream, so just bear with me.

So, I saw somewhere that Viv said that Alastor's microphone is like a a part of him. Without it, he can't speak. It's basically his voicebox and probably one of his greatest treasures because what is a radio host without his voice?

The reason why I'm bringing this up because in the scene in the trailer (not this Charlastor heavy one, but like the original one before the series came out) was that Charlie was holding onto Alastor's microphone in one of the scenes.

To have someone hold onto your greatest treasure, a piece of you that you can't just share with anybody, and to couple that with the fact that you're touch repulsed???? Charlie would never ask that of Alastor, so I really hope that he gave it to her of her own free will! Maybe it seems like our dear radio host wants to make the hotel actually succeed and that's his way of showing it.

(Of course, if he wants the hotel to succeed, I am no discounting the fact that it's because he's being forced to because of that "leash" of his or that he would do it just to bring Charlie's hopes up only to watch them crumble down into the pit of failure).

A friend of mine also suspected that this scene looked like it was about to lead up to a contract between Alastor and Charlie. And who knows? Maybe that's what will happen because I don't see Alastor giving Charlie his microphone just because. There has to be a good reason for it.

Am I being delusional? Probably.

And one more thought. I did mention that there might be a contract between Alastor and Charlie. But I didn't say how.

What if it isn't Charlie isn't selling her soul to Alastor, but Alastor selling his soul to Charlie. (If this is the ultimate plan for Alastor or from the entity holding Alastor's leash, who knows, just go with it).

The reason why I'm thinking it could be Charlie is because she needs to learn how to exercise her title as Princess of Hell. We see it during numerous times in the series that she tries to exercise her authority in the series, only to be bulldozed down by other characters. Notable examples is when Adam starts singing at her in Episode One, Angel Dust interrupting Charlie's questioning of Valentino in Episode Four, etc. We even see this in the pilot when she states that Lucifer said, "Don't take shit from other demons."

In fact, she doesn't seem to command much of a presence even though she's literal royalty and probably one of the strongest beings in hell. The only person who seems to listen to her and will do what she asks is Vaggie.

And Vaggie betrayed her by not telling the truth.

So, what if she tries to exercise her authority once more. To gain control, to finally show someone (anyone and in this case, Alastor) that she does have what it takes to command others while at the same time not abusing her authority.

(This was hinted at in Episode One when she tells Angel Dust that she won't exploit his profession for a commercial)

I think for entertainment's sake, Alastor would willingly enter into a contract with Charlie. How would dear the princess handle being saddled the responsibility of commanding him? And also, the amount of trust here???

The idea that Alastor would kneel to Charlie also has me in a tizzy, not gonna lie. (Like a knight kneeling to his fair maiden hahahah).

Also, we need to knock Alastor down a peg, he's too op and a wild card.

(... Also, Charlie initiating the deal and she gets a full demonic form? Maybe? Please!)

I don't know, most of my thoughts under the cut don't make a lot of sense, but the inherent theme is this: Charlastor is getting a lot crumbs no matter the interpretation. One can only hope that Episode Seven will be heavy on the Alastor and Charlie interactions, Charlastor coded or not.

Don't take me too seriously, by the way. If you disagree, then you can simply click away. These are just random thoughts and not meant to harm.

[mariacallous]

Donald Trump’s youngest son, and his only child shared with Melania Trump, has largely remained out of the public eye to the degree any former president’s child could. Well, until recently. Newly 18, Barron Trump is now a freshman at NYU and a burgeoning political adviser to his father.

For the past two weeks, my TikTok For You page has been filled with posts from New York University students posting clips of Barron Trump attending classes as if he were Sasquatch: the videos are all blurry and taken hurriedly, and mostly feature fellow students trying to track down the once-elusive Trump. These cryptic videos, complete with shaky camera angles set to songs like Chamillionaire’s “Ridin,’” are all over, taken from “day in my life”-style student videos and reposted to the dozens of Barron stan accounts across TikTok and Instagram.

These posts have garnered millions of views and look like paparazzi shots. You can tell from the camera angle that the people filming are trying to hide their cameras under backpacks or sweaters. New genres of Barron memes have flourished.

“I feel like Barron could’ve gone to any school, but the fact that he chose one of the most liberal schools in the country speaks volumes,” Grace Rowley, an NYU student who posted about Barron on TikTok, told me. “I was shocked and super intrigued that he would choose NYU. Would love to speak with him and would love to read his ‘why NYU’ essay.”

This kind of projection has been part of Barron’s story for years.

Before September, Barron was an enigma. He had no social media accounts and rarely made public appearances. For eight years, his personal life and interests were left to the public’s imagination. In 2020, rumors spread on TikTok that his then classmates had identified his Roblox username, “JumpyTurtlee.” The account’s bio said that the user was a fan of anime and K-pop and supported LGBTQ+ rights. While the rumor was never confirmed, it became part of Barron’s online mythos. Users would grab clips of him looking glum and make it sound as if he were miserable and despised his father, and then post them under the hashtag #savebarron2020.

Barron was the subject of dozens of pieces of fan fiction on sites like Archive of Our Own and Wattpad, and on fan accounts that recycle the same few clips and images over and over again. As Slate writer Luke Winkie noted earlier this year, Barron became a blank canvas for anyone even somewhat interested in the Trump family to project their own “fantasies” on to.

As Winkie also noted, the weird Greco-Roman antiquity-obsessed wing of the conservative base has obsessed over Barron as well, comparing his jawline to that of Alexander the Great and referring to him as America’s Caesar. Earlier this week, someone made an account seemingly impersonating Barron, making it appear as though he were making misogynistic comments about Kamala Harris. That account has since been suspended.

But fans of Barron won’t need to make up their own personal headcanons any longer, especially as it looks like Barron is beginning to take on a more public-facing role supporting his father. He made an X account on Monday to join a Space hosted by Trump to announce the former president’s new crypto venture. “He talks about his wallet, he’s got four wallets or something, and I’ll say, ‘What is a wallet?” the former president said. When Trump sat for an interview with Kick streamer Adin Ross earlier this year, he said that Barron was a fan of Ross. “My son’s told me about you,” Trump told him.

Time will tell, but for now, I'm not sure the internet can assume Barron is merely a weeb anymore. At least we'll probably find out on TikTok soon.

[blitz0hno]

Why I'm Voting Inno Mikoto even tho He Definitely Did It

or should I say DID i-*🏏smacked*

TL;DR like many I do not believe a word John says, but I also don't think he has the entire truth. Meanwhile Mikoto's amnesia is near undoubtable. With two unreliable narrators and solid evidence of self-defense, I think we need more before declaring him guilty.

I'm here to be Mikoto's lawyer cuz John ily but you suck at it 😭

Now onto why I'm voting Inno:

Mikoto isn't lying when he says he doesn't remember murdering those people, at least not entirely. The memory is in his subconscious, but he can't even remember the faces of his victims because they were both so out of it.

I believe what we see in MeMe is safe to assume to be his first. The first mannequin smashed onscreen is this one:

That looks like a damn FNAF jumpscare lmao this tells me that his baseball hobby probably saved him from getting jumped at that train station, but it came at a heavy price.

That's where John comes in. To handle the feelings that undoubtedly came with taking a life and having to hide the evidence.

Generally in DID alter's memories fall into one of 3 categories (my observations of myself and other systems):

That event happened. These are all the details. I feel nothing about it.

That event happened and I remember everything I felt like it was seconds ago, but I couldn't tell you specifics

That event happened??

The latter two can safely be assigned to John and Bokukoto. The first one is what we're missing.

I saw someone point out how the train could symbolize that he can never go back (credit urself in the tags if u see this it was a good one) to before he killed.

That brings me to our final scene.

Remember how John split to handle the feelings of that stressor? The feeling of unsafety, pure adrenaline, and righteous anger at the attacker is a horrific thing, but once you experience it you change. In order for an alter to handle the reality of something, it must be accepted somehow. John's way of accepting it is not remembering their faces, only his expressions and actions. That's probably why he's so aggressive; constant fight-or-flight mode.

Mikoto (Bokukoto), like with whatever happened to him in early childhood to cause DID, is unable to accept these realities because doing so would shatter his world (it turns out constant fight-or-flight isn't great for your social life).

So about John's statement that he didn't know any of the victims even though he totally did, at least a little;

John is reading the room and there it is: unsafety, pure adrenaline, and righteous anger at the attacker. That's all he needs to feel to know that it's time to protect Mikoto.

That's not the face and mannerisms of a man who bashes skulls in for kicks. This shit was personal.

I can't tell if it's one or two victims in the second clip here, but I strongly believe they had something to do with his work. His subconscious is really harping on how much his boss got on him and how stressed it made him. Something happened that pushed them over the edge. You don't call your mom after you kill for fun (or maybe you do idk). You call your mom when you know you're fucked.

John initiated the second killing but I don't think he was the only one making a conscious decision. That said, I don't have enough details to condemn Mikoto to another unforgiven verdict.

So, where will we find that info? Well remember RGB Mikoto/Trikoto theory (kudos to whoever coined those too)? Well when I broke down the compartmentalization earlier I hinted that there's a strong chance that SOMEONE remembers every detail, but feels nothing and lays dormant.

Good old green Mikoto, the only one we haven't seen speak yet the one who's given us the most detail so far (via MeMe).

Even if not and Bokukoto remembers more than he's letting on/gets in contact with John, the crime itself isn't unforgivable beyond a shadow of a doubt yet even with multiple victims. His reasons are still cloudy.

Also I like him

[landinrris]

I agree with you so much about your take on Lando and Martins relationship. It’s like I have so many thoughts a feelings but want to respect their right to privacy.

Want to add just a couple thoughts to your more fictional take. For me, it’s also how everyone around them acts.

Oscar being inclusive in his language talking about the drivers “girlfriends or partners or whatever” (which love you Oscar for that!).

McLaren not posting any videos of Lando and Martin together post Mexico when they do post videos of Landos other famous friends like Zedd. Plus McLaren way cutting back in the behind the scenes videos.

The Thursday drivers interviews have never asked him about hanging out with Martin in the off-time when they ask drivers all the time about stuff they do off track, even asking Fernando about the whole Shakira meme, unless it’s truly private and off limits (only reporter I’ve ever seen ask Lando about Martin was Ziggo and Landos body language was so uncomfortable and self soothing talking about it. Man could not stop stroking his face!)

No official track photographers post pictures of Martin unless he’s there to work and never with Lando or in McLaren, only ever at Redbull (and like the photographer Kym Illman leaving Martin out of his post about Lando being in Australia was odd in that he knows Martin and talks with him and would have known he was in Aus too). Kym (who gives me a bit of an ick, but he says interesting things sometimes) talked once that they have requests from teams not to photograph certain people, and it kinda feels like there’s a request to not photograph Martin and Lando. Even the now famous hug in Vegas. As soon as they went in for the hug the camera like oh crap panned away.

Everyone seems to be so careful to respect what I’m guessing is a request from the team to respect their privacy. And whether that’s because they are in a relationship, well I don’t know. I think if he is, it’s probably a relationship that is out and open and known about in the paddock, but not in public. And if that’s the case, totally their right. If a gay relationship with an F1 driver was made public especially one with another arguably more famous person the scrutiny around it would be so intense, I could totally understand why someone would want that relationship to be out privately but not publicly.

You're so right about all of this, it's very telling how people around them act. Although I do wonder about the Ziggo interview from Zandvoort. Idk, it didn't look like any more fidgeting or touching his face than normal to me, but I see where you're going. What I got out of that clip from that interview was more so what he had to say about his friendship and how much he values it. And when he was finished addressing it, they very pointedly moved on to other things like Max and hypothetically being Max's teammate.

This is also like the second time in as many days that I've heard that Kym asks for permission to post pics. Maybe I forgot where that was said at one point, but that in and of itself says a lot about what he posts in general. But also, did we know Martin was in Australia for sure when Kym posted that random thing about Lando being in Perth that was likely only because of Lando's story?

Who knows. The fact of the matter is that it certainly appears they've set boundaries with people which is both very helpful and makes me very 👀 at the same time.

[mythicalshipping]

*deep breath* 

Y’ALL.

Okay, so I’d seen the cuddling videos and wasn’t really sure what to expect with this one...

...excuse me, their WHAT now?

This feels like a fic prompt. Like the writers just...browsed Rhink Tumblr for an idea that Wouldn’t Go Too Far. 

Rhett was just demonstrating, but Link couldn’t help himself and was like “ME FIRST!” 

Dude, you’re not covering your a** at all with this, but nice try. 

WHY DOES LINK HAVE THIS DREAMY-EYED ~*MY HEART STOPS WHEN HE SAYS MY NAME~* LOOK IN HIS EYES LIKE??!? WE ARE BARELY INTO THE EP.

Is Link like, unable to hug people (or maybe just Rhett?) with his eyes open? If so, that is so adorable and I can’t deal with it, excuse me while I walk into the sea. 

Not Link’s hand pressing and Rhett’s chin pressing fOr ScIeNcE.

LINK’S ~*FACE~* IS JUST PURE BLISS (and I’m sure he wasn’t low-key thinking that if Rhett just tilted his head down a lil’ further, it’d be a forehead kiss). 

LINK LOCKING HIS HANDS LIKE THIS LIKE IT WAS THE 1800S AND HE WAS WONDERING WHEN RHETT WOULD RETURN FROM THE WAR.

Link couldn’t let go. ;-; PLS. HALP.

DAYUM just calling Link out; I wouldn’t have noticed, but now I cannot unthink about the locked hands ;-;

Link patted Noah because only Rhett has a key to his lock... ;-;

Charles Lincoln “Who’s jealous? I’m not jealous” Neal III

...

I watched this clip back and it DEFINITELY wasn’t...am I alone in this? 

Either way...someone is jelllyyyyyyy.

Maybe Link just wanted an excuse to talk about his Rick Rubin dream...science is still out on what exactly dreams meme but THIS is kinda telling, just sayin’... ;) 

RHETT’S FACE AFTERWARD, BY THE WAY

Not the mirrored stances ;-;

Link’s facial expressions through this entire episode look positively o*gasmic whenever he’s hugging Rhett. 

CHASE’S LIL FACE IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE HERE (and hey, I’d ship this ;) )

“You want to envelope me?” ;-; (And also, fun fact, if you are shorter than your partner, and they wanna be little spoon, just shift so that your head is resting slightly above theirs and wrap an arm around their waist). 

THIS IS SO TENDER I JUST ;-; And Rhett’s face is pressed up right against Link’s nealples. 

“DON’T WORRY” SHUT UP I AM CRYING ;-;

*UGLY SOBBING* OH MY FREAKING GOD

...Uh, okay...not where I was expecting this ep. to go but...

Stevie giving 11/10 commentary, and also can I just point out RHETT’S. FACE.

JEALOUSY, TURNING SAINTS INTO THE SEA

SWIMMING THROUGH SICK LULLABIES, CHOKING ON YOUR ALIBIS 

Yeah, real coherent response there Rhett. 

Rhett suggesting they just *actually* make out. As if he could handle the FEELS. I wish someone would have called his bluff. XD

Rhett is the Princess of Genovia, I don’t make the rules. (peach-worthy and I were totally on the same page with this one ;) ). 

So...what exactly do you want to feel from these hugs, Rhett?

HE JUST SAYS IT. WE’RE ALL THINKING IT AND HE JUST GOES AND SAYS IT. 

Rhett low-key panicking.

:O WAIT

...You...YOU’RE GOING TO DEMONSTRATE THIS?!?!?

This screencap is unedited. Noah is all of us. (And okay okay, so they didn’t REALLY kiss obviously, but a girl can dream right?)

And so, it’s time for Stevie to reveal if leaning to the left when you hug someone is more romantic or platonic. And Link is just like “I’m just gonna put in a Superman pose and pretend that everything here is for science.” 

Link is fidgeting SO MUCH here.

Finally, a man of truth. ;) 

But is his guess correct?

Rhett and Link standing there just re-evaluating their entire lives.

CLEARLY THE SCIENE IS WRONG.

Rhett grasping onto this for dear life. 

Stevie...that is fanfic writing ma’am. 

Oh no. WhatEVER will they do? ;) 

He’s not wrong, but it’ll come back to haunt him a bit later. ;) 

Jessie is such a real one <3

Rhett beckoning Link for them to try the five second hug before pedaling tf BACK, in fear that he seems too eager. 

...for what? In case it goes on too long? XD

Link fighting the urge to lock his hands ;-;

Link truly is unable to hug Rhett without looking entirely blissful. Rhett patting Link’s back and counting out the pats to take away some of his own worry, but Link, even still, looks happy anyway. 

Noah is all of us looking on. 

NOT LINK ON HIS TIPPY TOES ;-; 

Link Neal and his PROJECTION.

...you guys good there? lol

LINK SHUT UP THAT IS SO SWEET I CANNOT. ;-;

YEAH WE’LL DO THE 10 SECOND HUG. BUT UH, OBVIOUSLY, FOR SCIENCE, AND IT IS GONNA BE JUST *TERRIBLE.* SURE RHETT.

RHETT YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT AFTERWARDS. ;-;

Not this mirroring...

YEAH WE’LL DO THE 10 SECOND HUG. BUT UH, OBVIOUSLY, FOR SCIENCE, AND IT IS GONNA BE JUST *TERRIBLE*, SO LESS SPICE IT UP WITH OUR OWN FANFIC?!?! HELLO?!?! EXCUSE ME?!?! (Omfg my stream of consciousness screenshotting self named this “you mean like your mission trip?” D:)

I think I’ve read this fic before...

IM SCREAMING?!!?!?!? THIS CANON DIVERGENCE?!?! RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!?!

OH GOD AND LINK TOOK THIS SO SERIOUSLY. NOT ONLY DID HE UNDERSTAND THE ASSIGNMENT, HE WENT FOR THE EXTRA CREDIT. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. Noah’s face once again being all of ours. 

*UGLY SOBBING* LINK PLS.

RHETT AND NOW YOU SAY THIS?!? LINK AT LEAST TRIED TO “DEFEND” Y’ALL, WITH THE MENTION OF “THE CONVERSATION” HELPING. 

STEVIE HAS BEEN TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN SINCE DAY 1, I GUARANTEE IT. 

This is their suggestion and I JUST...pls I need (another?) Mythical OT4 beach ep. 

Link just SINKING into the hug. 

...WTF auto-generated closed captions?

THE EFFING NUZZLE I IRL SQUEAKED!!!!

Me trying to recover from this ep. 

Idk what part of the ep this was in, but I need a GMM London trip because of reasons. 

[vierandancer]

Top 10 favourite characters?

FINAL FANTASY MUNDAY MEME! || Accepting

Hmmm. It's hard to rank them but I will try.

Fray & Sidurgu (FF14): I'm cheating immediately and lumping together my Dark Knight class husbands because I can. Also heavily influenced by @aethericsea's interpretations, but whatever. For Fray, I love a slight-obsessed-with-you dark side vaugely self-cesty ghost that scolds you when you don't take care of yourself. The Dark Knight quests are so healing for the WoL. It is the closest thing you get to actual therapy. Leading into my adoration for Sidurgu -- he is just a good guy. Does he fuck up? Yes. I love me some guys who fuck up and try to do better. He also has such faith in the WoL and such empathy for them. Like when you go back post-EW and check in, he's like "wow that sounds unbelievable but it's you so I understand." I'll tag Rielle in here as well, because I just love her story as well, and how she changes from a quiet, traumatized child into a sassy apple-eating healer who calls Sidurgu a chocobo's arse. I have so many feelings about the DRK fam you guys.

Garnet (FF9): Garnet/Dagger, my girl! Was I biased because she was the closest FF protag lass who looked like me? Yes. Am I still biased for that reason? Yes. But also, again (as I'll say 100x below), I adored her journey. I loved her dedication to her people, I loved her Mulan moment, I enjoyed her learning to be more formal through Zidane. I loved that she fucking drugged everyone's food and jumped from a tower and enjoyed the hell out of it. She's just so much fun even though I don't believe she would have worn a bodysuit THAT TIGHT. Praying every day for a FF9 remake announcement.

Zidane (FF9): Sorry Thancred, you were knocked out of the Top 3 by the original flirty blond rogue. FF7 was my first Final Fantasy, but 9 was the one I fell in love with. I appreciated Zidane's more upbeat and scrappy attitude, and of course, he was far from perfect (i.e flirting with the girl in the bar and then fucking up and mentioning it to Garnet) and had his whole questioning his existing thing. He's just really fun, damn it.

Thancred (FF14): Thancred is a fucking mess. I am partially biased towards him because of @aethericsea's interpretation, but a lot of it pulls from canon anyway. Again, I adore his growth and the journey he takes, his relationship with Minfilia, his struggles with what's obviously depression with a hint of alcoholism, and the fact that despite getting the cool animations, he still gets clowned on.

Alphinaud (FF14): Alphinaud barely has the step above Alisaie in this ranking, and only because of his shift from ARR into Heavensward. Alphinaud changes from a bratty snoot who sends WoL around like a living weapon to truly loving them like family. He is so mature and respectful and I love it when he sees his earlier mistakes in others.

Alisaie (FF14): Alisaie's growth is more subtle than Alphinaud's, but I love the balance she brings. She feels like a genuine teenager more than Alphinaud does sometimes and I adore her vulnerability. I also love her calling the villains out, even if it makes me panic from time to time for her safety.

Tataru (FF14): Tataru is such a supportive friend to the WoL and just an excellent 'run the house while you adventure' NPC. I am SO glad they play into her boss babe entrepreneur mentality as the story proceeds.

Cloud (FF7/7R): I respect the impact FFVII had on gaming. The original 7 was the first Final Fantasy I ever played and what inspired me to want to be a game designer! Plus, like Noctis, I appreciate Cloud being 100% done with everyone. Sadly, never beat 7. I beat 7R though!

Rikku (FFX/X-2): Again, didn't play a lot of X and it has been like 20 years since I played X-2, but I adore her. What a girl's girl.

Noctis (FFXV): The only reason Noctis is down at #10 is because I haven't played FFXV personally, but I've seen clips with him via @starrymused and I appreciate his attitude. Someone just let the man fish and not be a protagonist.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

SHE'S TECHNICALLY NOT FINAL FANTASY BUT GODDAMIT, JUSTICE FOR EDEA LEE OF BRAVELY DEFAULT. SHE DESERVED MORE RESPECT AND CLOSURE FUCK YOU RINGABEL AND ALL OF ETERNIA

And @starrymused's Tidus because we will be interacting soon as well, and he's good lad who is also a himbo jock like Meiko.

[macgyvertape]

Resident Evil Death Island Review

So I watched Resident Evil Death Island and actually really enjoyed it, going in with 0 expectations. The dialogue was a bit stilted at the beginning, but I think that’s just pausing to explain their current emotions and where they fit into the game timeline. It’s just fun to see the main Raccoon City survivor group fight a bad guy and zombies in tourist trap Alcatraz.

I haven’t seen any of the other CGI movies after seeing the meme worthy gun-fu clip from Resident Evil Vendetta, and I was surprised by the number of references Death Island made to the other movies including major plot relevant details. Like the woman in a leather halter top catsuit which was so tight it showed the definition between her ass cheeks yet somehow she was doing high kicks and flips in it, has a whole tragic past with that gets one or two lines summary.

The CGI was a lot better than I expected, it looked realistic enough that it occasionally hit uncanny valley but otherwise I’m jealous that other franchises I like only get a few minutes of cutscenes vs a full movie.

The main villain is the classic dude with his own personal issues who tries for “Break Them by Talking” trope, it was a change of pace that no one then has any really snarky comebacks unlike some other characters in the games (seriously I was expecting someone to say “I don't give a damn about your personal issues.”).

My only minor nitpicks are wow I wish Chris could have kept his fun tropical shirt longer, and if this is post RE5 Jill I wish the designers would give her a look different from RE3.

[idontknowijuststartedsomething]

Against most odds I’m still excited for Hazbin, but I gotta say the marketing strategy so far has been absolutely awful, including the new trailer. (Not Vivs fault, as marketing is usually a completely different entity that is mostly or entirely out of viv and the crews control)

I’m trying to look at as if I were someone who’d never heard or seen anything about the show before seeing this trailer. Never heard of vivziepop, helluva, or hazbin. Just some random guy scrolling thru Twitter. I feel like it’s doing a poor job selling or informing people who are not in the know about the show. Like someone seeing this trailer with no prior knowledge would probably not guess they’re supposed to be in hell until maybe the pentagram on the season 2 banner.

Most of the marketing up until this point feels like it’s only to sell the show more to people who are already gonna watch it. Which is fine, except there has been next to nothing trying to market it to general audiences who haven’t heard of the show. And you kind of want more people to know about and be interested in watching if you want a successful show.(again, this is not directed at viv but the people making the marketing decisions). By successful I don’t mean good quality, lots of great shows or shows I love have or had like four people watching when they aired. I mean a show that brings in views and ad revenue and ratings for the platform or network so that it doesn’t get axed for not performing well enough.

All the marketing before this trailer, in case I missed something, has been gifs on the shows Twitter account, which is likely seen primarily by people who follow the account and already know about/are excited about the show. Its probably not reaching a ton more people then those who are already gonna watch.

And the trailer. Agains someone who doesn’t know who these characters are or clues to what the shows “about”(Charlie trying to redeem people) probably still wouldn’t just from this trailer. It still just looks like random clips. It’ll probably draw some people in who see the trailer, are interested and then look it up, but I still think the trailer could do a better job of selling the show or at least letting you (the viewer who has never heard of this before) know kinda the “gist” or some of the conflict that’s gonna be in the show.

All or most of the marketing feels like it assumes you already know what the show is about and who these characters are and are familiar with the setting, and a lot of general audiences or prime video users probably don’t. A lot of it, especially the gifs, feel like they’re just to hype up the show to people already hyped for it. I don’t see a whole lot being done to market this show with general audiences, to sell the show to people who have never heard of it and have no prior knowledge of Hazbin Hotel. Which, if you wanna market just to the fans, that cool. But don’t except to get many new viewers on board.

And, going into pure speculation and red strings territory now, if and big if they are doing that with the line of thinking of “it’s not for everyone”, I don’t think that tracks. Invincible (the ANIMATED show on PRIME)probably isn’t for everyone, and is based on something where there was probably already a dedicated fan base. I’ve never read invincible or watched it(although just thru memes and pop culture osmosis I kinda know what happens in the show) but the first trailer does give me a good idea of who these characters are on a basic level and some of the gist of the show or conflicts. The main takeaways from that trailer is that Mark feels tremendous pressure trying to live up to his dad’s legacy, it’s a violent show about superheroes, and that marks dad has something else darker going on. Even if you’d never heard of invincible, it gives you enough to be like, oh I see, maybe I’ll check it out. It does enough to hook the show to someone who has never heard of it.

Maybe we’ll get a longer trailer later with actually voices that sells the show or the idea of the show more, but for now, I just feel like all of Hazbins marketing has been more for fans, not to actually market the show outside of the fandom to general audiences.

[paranormalfrogtivity]

Okay I was watching a let's play of the end of the 2.0 Trailblaze mission and some things occurred to me, so I wanted to write them down before I forgot. Anyway, 2.0 trailblaze spoilers below the cut

~▪︎▪︎▪︎~

OKAY SO. First thing I'm wondering is... Could Black Swan be behind Firefly's death? As a memokeeper, she might have some influence over the Meme: Something Unto Death, and when she takes us to meet Aventurine, he congratulates her on pitting Acheron and Sam against each other. People have already made connections between Sam and Firefly, and I've seen theories anywhere from Sam = Firefly to Firefly being Sam's surrogate "empress"

(For this, remember that Sam is described as being a remnant of Glamoth's Iron Cavalry. From examing the Glamoth planar ornament set, it appears that the Iron Cavalry were mecha that were psychically connected to their Empress, who could puppet them. Everything they did was in service to and in order to protect their Empress. But we know that this Empress fell, so the mecha became untethered.)

If Firefly were acting as Sam's surrogate Empress, he would have acted to protect her. This might be why she got locked in that room, to keep her away from the Something Unto Death, but she found a way out that ultimately led her right to her death anyway. With his "empress" dead once again, Sam may have gone on a rampage of vengeance, resulting in all the scorched Dreamjolt Troupe members we find.

~•••~

We know Black Swan has the ability to remove obstacles in the dreamscape and to create entry points between areas there. Maybe that passageway to the lobby didn't exist when Sam presumably locked Firefly in that room. Maybe Black Swan created that hallway, knowing Firefly was likely to use it to escape, and then lured/compelled the SUD into killing her. Black Swan may have known this would send Sam into a fury, and planned it to distract Acheron. Black Swan has warned us that even she could be lying.

EXTRA EDIT: Sampo says during the Black Swan/Sparkle companion mission that only the Garden of Recollection has the ability to kill someone in their dreams. Extra evidence for Black Swan being responsible for Firefly's death? She claims right after that not even a memokeeper can breach the protections in Penacony's dreamscape that prevent visitors' deaths, but again, she could be lying.

My second theory is also related to our conversation with Aventurine at the end of the mission. He claims that Acheron is in Penacony under false pretenses and that she is responsible for the death of Duke Inferno off-screen. He also claims that she swiped Ifrit's invite to the Charmony Festival.

But there's a problem here with his explanation. Remember when the Astral Express crew tried to check in at the beginning of the Penacony plot? We ran into a MASSIVE roadblock because the Trailblazer's name wasn't on the list for the invitation. We wouldn't have even been allowed in if Aventurine hadn't vouched for us with Sunday. If we, even with the recognized members of the Nameless, weren't able to bypass that checkpoint, how the fuck did Acheron check in alone using the Annihilation Gang's invite? Her name most certainly would not have been on the hotel's approved list, and she hasn't been shown to have connections to any high-ranking individuals in the Family. I doubt they would have allowed her to check in with just a music box like Aventurine claims.

Did she sneak into Penacony then? I don't think so, as we see her check in at the front desk in a teaser at the end of the Game Awards candidacy video. (Scrub to 1:20 for the teaser clip) The fact that she's in the hotel (and the VIP corridor at that) later in the game suggests that she was able to successfully check in, so she must have been on the list or at least had an invitation.

Black Swan claims to verify what Aventurine tells us about the Annihilation Gang and Duke Inferno, but as she tells us 0.2 seconds later, anyone in Penacony could be lying, even her. So is Ifrit dead? His tarot card burning up in Black Swan's Myriad Celestia trailer (scrub to 2:10 if you don't want to watch the whole thing) seems to support that statement, but I'm not convinced that Acheron was responsible. In that same trailer, Black Swan says something along the lines of "The menacing infernal fire absorbed by the vast, profound sea." And we know that the Memory Zone has been referred to a couple times as a sea or an ocean. So would that imply that whoever or whatever did kill Ifrit is actually associated with Penacony or the Memory Zone? But who? And where did his invite go if Acheron didn't take it? If Black Swan and/or Aventurine are lying about Acheron being the killer of Ifrit, could they also be lying/mistaken about the rest of the Annihilation Gang disbanding?

[thepapergirlandthespiegelman]

Hazbin Hotel isn't good, I just really wish it was

And so I bit the apple, and evil spilled forth into the world

This review contains spoilers for Hazbin Hotel.

I wasn't going to watch Hazbin Hotel. I've always gotten kind of a negative vibe from it ever since it first appeared on my radar years ago. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what put me off it when so little content had even been released, but I guess it just struck me as very crude and "edgy" in this juvenile and kind of offensive way; plus I had heard some vague criticisms that the creator was a not-so-great person, though I wasn't sure how true those rumors were.

But since the Amazon show came out in January, the algorithm has been pestering me nonstop to watch this show with advertisements, memes, recommended videos.

It makes some sense; as someone who enjoys both Lucifer and Disney princesses, you might think that I'm the target audience of this show. And there's not a huge amount of crossover between those two groups, so if I won't watch it, who the hell will?

So after seeing some stuff that intrigued me, I finally decided to give the show a shot and at least watch the stuff available for free (that's the pilot, episode 1, and the first 10 minutes of episode 2). This review is based on that content as well as other clips, the soundtrack, and what I've read online about the story going forward. If that makes this review null and void to you, feel free to stop reading. I generally like to experience the entirety of a thing before reviewing it, but I'm not eager to throw money at Amazon without cause, and in this case, I feel that a lot can be said based solely on this limited content.

My initial impression? To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe that's because my expectations were through the floor, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. Both the pilot and the Amazon series have serious problems, but they have some strengths as well, in my opinion.

Starting with the pilot: I'll admit that it presents a very cruel, ugly world full of frankly unrealistically shitty people. The humor is juvenile and often tasteless. The dialogue can be pretty clunky, and the "insults" levied are often so pathetic that hearing them oscillates between boring and infuriating. The worldbuilding is poorly conveyed and hard to follow.

But if you can get past all that, and I acknowledge that that's a big ask, there are some interesting things about this pilot.

Angel Dust is an interesting character. One of the things I really can't stand is when media portray literally everyone as evil, but even in the pilot, it's made pretty clear that Angel Dust is not actually a bad person. First off, what exactly are his "sins"? Being gay and doing porn? Sure, he shows the capacity to be at least somewhat mean and violent, but you can tell from his interactions with Charlie, Vaggie, and Cherri Bomb that he's not actually malicious or sadistic. In the limo, he says, "I owed my girl buddy a solid; isn't that a 'redeeming quality'? Helping friends with stuff?" And like...he's correct! Vaggie dismisses this out of hand, but it shows that Angel Dust is able to care about other people, and this is reinforced later when he almost goes to comfort Charlie but gives up. There's a setup here for a story about someone who is good at their core but looks bad, either because they engage in behaviors that are socially taboo even if they're not actually harmful (e.g. homosexuality, sex work) or because they engage in behaviors that are actually bad (e.g. being mean and violent), but only because those behaviors are normalized or arguably required by their environment (I mean, what was he supposed to do? Just let his friend get blown up?). It would be genuinely interesting to see Charlie and Vaggie reckon with their own biases and black-and-white view of morality and come to see the good in Angel Dust, and then to see how Angel Dust might grow and change as a person when he actually feels seen and respected.

Alastor also has a lot of potential. His design and theming are genuinely interesting, a mix of ancient horned beast and 1930s transatlantic accented radio presenter. He's clearly a character intended to elicit intense fear, which means he can serve as an exploration of what scares us most. The "radio" theme presents some really intriguing ideas for this exploration. Alastor represents something that can be heard but not seen; not only this, but he can't even really be heard. We only hear his voice through the low-fidelity transmission of a radio, suggesting that what we're perceiving is at least a bit off from reality, somehow inauthentic, and that makes us wonder what horrors could be lurking in that gap.

It's obvious to me that Angel Dust and Alastor are the strongest characters in the show. Charlie feels like a cardboard cutout by comparison, and Vaggie is totally devoid of flavor. Angel Dust makes far more sense as a protagonist, so why does the show center around Charlie?

Hazbin Hotel feels like a show centered around a gimmicky premise: what if Disney princess, but in Hell? Ooh, how subversive, how funny! But it doesn't really know what to do with that premise. It doesn't really know who Charlie is, and it doesn't really know what Hell is. But it does know who Angel Dust is and who Alastor is, or at least it has the spark needed for those ideas to blossom into fully-developed characters, so why not start there?

Moving on to episode 1 of the Amazon series. Immediately, I was surprised by the direction in which they took the show. Based on the pilot, one of my biggest concerns was that the show would be solely about individual self-improvement and "redemption" and fail to address the systemic/environmental problems that are the ultimate cause of evil. I figured the show would likely center around individual sinners trying to improve themselves and then, after the necessary amount of struggle and conflict, they would succeed and prove to both Heaven and Hell that they were worthy of ascension, without anyone ever questioning why this system of sorting people into good and bad exists in the first place or how it can possibly be seen as ethical, even if people are ultimately allowed to move between the two. I figured Heaven would be portrayed as not evil but simply misguided or small-minded, and that, having rectified those inadequacies, the system would continue on largely unchanged. Happy ending, woooo.

Episode 1 makes it very clear that that is not the direction that this is going. Heaven is pretty clearly portrayed as evil, which was mostly a positive for me. I find the whitewashing of stuff like mass murder pretty fucking gross, so it's nice that the exterminations of Hell's citizens aren't being framed as morally justified.

Unfortunately, this does result in some narrative problems. The show depends on Charlie believing that Heaven can be reasoned with, and that if she works hard, they'll eventually see the light. But after being brutally rejected by Adam like that, why would Charlie continue to think that these are good, reasonable people who are just misguided? Not only does Adam deny her in the most explicit terms possible, he's totally pigheaded and unempathetic.

We're now getting into stuff that I haven't seen firsthand, but from what I understand, Charlie continues running her hotel and trying to negotiate with Heaven. She's able to prove that a sinner can improve themselves, but she's unable to get them into Heaven, and ultimately has to resort to trying to stop the exterminations with brute force.

If that's the case, then why have this reveal that Heaven is evil in the very first episode? Delay the reveal until closer to the end, have Charlie work hard to accomplish her dream under the impression that her work will ultimately pay off, only to have Heaven reveal that it was never about being a good person at all and merely about their desire to consolidate power for themselves. Then have Charlie reckon with that, how she's been putting all the burden on herself and her people to prove themselves, when the system was never fair to begin with and the people in power were just exploiting a narrative for their personal gain. Now THAT'S a spicy story.

I think it's my desire to see that story play out, and my respect for Hazbin being willing to make Heaven the bad guys (even if it obstinately refuses to say the G word), that has kept my interest in the show despite its obvious flaws. Somewhere in this tangled-up mess there is a story about questioning and resisting the moral narratives fed to us about ourselves by people who do not have our best interests at heart. There's a story about claiming your power and fighting back against oppressive systems.

Is Hazbin Hotel with its Disney XD-esque style and middle-school humor woefully unequipped to tell that story? Well, yes, yeah. And I guess that should have been obvious to everyone from the start. But it feels like a shame.

A similar problem with narrative trajectory occurs regarding Lucifer and Alastor. If we compare Charlie to the Disney princess formula, we see the obvious issue. We know that while Charlie's parents are very powerful, she's alienated from both of them (Lilith because she's missing and Lucifer because they have a bad relationship) and so doesn't have access to their power. In the pilot, we see that Charlie doesn't officially make a deal with Alastor, but she does allow him to work at the hotel. So we sort of have a Chekhov's deal situation here, where if Charlie was pushed to her limit, she might be tempted into making a deal with the devil. Triton won't let Ariel go to the surface, so Ariel makes a deal with the sea witch instead.

But what happens if Ariel reconciles with Triton before getting to that point? Well, then Ursula wouldn't have a tentacle to stand on.

And this is what happens in Hazbin. In episode 5, Lucifer is introduced and reconciled with Charlie in the very same episode. Lucifer is shown to be basically infinitely more powerful than Alastor and is genuinely and totally devoted to Charlie, so she no longer has any reason to depend on Alastor. He's lost all of his leverage over her and no longer presents any real threat, so...what the hell is his role in this story now?

I'm not saying Hazbin Hotel needs to copy the story arc of a Disney princess movie just because Charlie is inspired by Disney princesses. I'm perfectly fine with the show wanting to do its own thing. But it turns down a totally viable arc in favor of...nothing. Why?

The pilot so heavily teased the mystery of Alastor's character, what terrible consequences might result if Charlie were to make a deal with him. So like...let us see that! Hell, this could even be easily connected back to the main storyline that I was talking about before. Have Charlie be totally demoralized by the revelation that Heaven isn't actually good and that the world is deeply broken in a way she never even imagined. Maybe even up the stakes by making it more personal, like having Heaven threaten to specifically target her girlfriend or one of her friends in the next extermination. Push her to complete desperation and then have Alastor swoop in and offer her a way out. Still alienated from her father (or perhaps after attempting to get closer but being once more rebuked), she feels like she has no choice but to accept, and ends up in a bad situation. Then Lucifer sees her in trouble and shows up to save her, making her realize that he does actually care about her; and Lucifer, seeing how Charlie and her friends genuinely care for each other, is shown that sinners aren't just hopelessly wicked. Alastor gets his chance to shine and the reconciliation with Lucifer feels earned and meaningful.

This show has such potential to be both interesting and emotionally impactful, but it's hindered by its unwillingness to take itself seriously and thoughtfully plan out its narrative and character arcs.

It would be one thing if the show was just complete garbage. I know that a lot of people see it that way, but I really don't think that's the case. There is something here.

I'm not currently planning on watching the rest of the show. That could certainly change, especially if others tell me that it's worth it despite the problems. If you've watched the show (or even if you haven't), I'd be very curious to hear your thoughts on my evaluation.