#and I saw the Unity Tour IN PERSON

[my-name-is-siduri]

I sigh deeply as I hand over my money to Neil and Chris once again. They take it and buy themselves yet another expensive suit and some wacky hats and sunglasses. They then go to some cafe no one's ever heard of to buy themselves one slice of cake to split between them

[drkmgs]

I'd choose you over everyone.

Lady Lesso x Reader

Warnings: fluff

story type: one shot

The first none Wednesday/Jenna related fanfiction. Why? Because I have writers block for the stories I planned for Wednesday and Jenna Ortega. I'm also obsessed with Charlize Theron at the moment...

No one will deny you are one of the most attractive reader, and you also were the oldest one they have seen. All Nevers and Evers were lining up to get your attention or just throw them a quick glance, but you had no interest in them.

The only person who had successfully got your attention was the dean of evil. You certainly didn't know why, but her vibe and aesthetic were captivating you from afar.

You knew who had her heart, but that didn't hold you back from confessing and trying to pursue her. In the end, it did break your heart to see how inlove she was with someone who was just obsessed with power.

After the school was successfully rebuilt and united, you managed to get home and never looked back. Not until a few months back, a certain Clarissa Dovey sent you an invitation, for all former Readers, there will be a celebration for the unity of the school.

When the day came, you didn't really know what to do there, but you owe Clarissa an apology for disappearing without a proper goodbye, and this would probably be the ultimate test to see if you'd moved on.

You sighed. You walked through the portal, just in seconds, your surroundings changed into a familiar yet brand new place. Stoned grounds, marbled walls, red carpets, and chandeliers were present in front of you.

Former Readers, Heroes, and Villains chatting and dancing in the middle of the ballroom. The smell of food lingering in the air, the festive music playing in the background, and the clicking of glasses can be heard.

"Y/N! I'm so happy to see you!" You quickly snapped your gaze to the woman coming at you with open arms.

"Look at you! You haven't changed at all! Maybe a bit mature looking, but that isn't really a problem. At. All." Dovey, scanning you from head to toe.

"It's nice to see you too, Dovey. I'm sorry for not saying goodbye." You had a sad smile on your face.

"Oh, don't bother! I know you needed to get away from here. I'm just glad I found your right address!" Dovey waved her hand as a sign that you didn't have to apologize. She continued to tell you what happened after you left and toured you around the new castle.

Arriving back at the main hall, both of you stopped by the stairs. From there, you spotted a red-haired woman scoffing at a couple who are obviously oversharing their PDA moment. You couldn't help but snort seeing Lady Lesso's reaction, which didn't get unnoticed by a certain Ever beside you.

"Did you two talk about what happened after the school was rebuilt? You know, when she gave you the invitation..." Dovey asked with caution, which made you divert your gaze back to her. Based on your confused look, it is clear she made a mistake.

"What do you mean she gave me the invitation? The invitation was among my letters." You squinted your eyes at her.

"She didn't talk to you? Strange, she told me she personally delivered the invitation. Ha. Ha." Dovey tried to play it off by her nervously laughing. You, on the other hand, furrowed your brows and diverted your gaze to the red-haired who is now staring at you with wide eyes.

You saw her putting her drink down, slowly turning her body towards the door. As soon as you realize she was making a run for it, you quickly dashed down the stairs and followed her red puffy hair.

You reached her wrist outside the entrance of the castle. Panting you let go of her.

"Is it so hard for you to admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness?" You say getting your breathing back. Her back facing you, you see her sigh, and her shoulders slumped down.

"The moment I heard from Sophie, you were in Gavaldon, I immediately look for you. I couldn't bring myself to talk to you, that's why I left the invitation among your letters and went back to the school. Who am I to ask you to take me back after all I did to you? I'm not an idiot, Y/N. I saw how many Nevers and Evers were crazy for you, but you never paid them attention, I was the exception, and what did you get from me? heartbreak and misery." She turned her head sideways, the moon reflected on her green eyes and her face glowing as the moon was the only source of light outside the castle.

"Leonora. Isn't it time for you to make it up to me? For all those months you wasted pushing me away, instead of running and hiding from me?" You stood your ground, reached for her waist, turning her around to face you. She couldn't look you in the eyes. With one hand, you cupped her cheek to make her look up at you. She reads your eyes. Eyes filled with love and affection.

"Why? Why me? Why not the others?" She had this begging tone in her voice, but there was also relief.

A gasped and a finger pointing to the sky caught everyone's attention, fireworks. You and Lady Lesso turned around to watch the wonderful show.

"Because I'd choose you over everyone." With that, you sealed it with a kiss that was long overdue. Speaking of perfect timing, the door of the castle opened and all of the Nevers and Evers applauded, and whistled for both of you. You broke the kiss a shy Lady Lesso hid her face in your neck and wrapped her arms around you, which you return.

"I guess, it's never too late for a happily ever after for a villain." You whisper in her ear, which made her look at you. The fireworks reflecting on her eyes and skin.

"I guess, you're right." She smiled and you leaned in for another kiss.

[angelasscribbles]

Complicated Couples: Applewood

Series: Hinge. for @choicesholidays Valentine's Prompt Event (Yes, I'm late!)

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Various

Rating: Teen

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 4,242

A/N: There are EXTENSIVE author notes for this one and I would recommend reading them unless you've read Complicated recently and remember everything. See the author's note here. 

If you'd like a refresher on Madeleine and Cassie's relationship click here: Madi and Cassie.

Everything else: Master List.

Marco and Callie

The black SUV pulled up and stopped in front of the royal estate of Applewood Manor. Marco oversaw the unloading of Riley’s luggage, instructing that it be taken directly up to the royal suite.

His eyes darted from the butlers stacking suitcases onto the luggage carts to the area surrounding the estate. Tendrils of smoke still curled into the air, the once vibrant apple orchards now charred and decimated.

With the recent attacks, he, and the rest of the guard, were on high alert. He couldn’t let anything happen to their future queen on his watch. Not again.

He was lucky he still had a job after losing her in New York. Not that it had been his fault. He had simply followed orders. When Captain Walker told him to go get the car, he’d gone to get the car. How could he have known that a social media influencer was going to spot her and that Ana De Luca was going to drop that story early?

None of them, not even Captain Walker, not even the king, had seen that catastrophe coming. But all’s well that ends well, and he still had a job. One that he didn’t intend to lose.

“Bruno! Go find Lt. Fitzgerald and see if they need any help securing the perimeter then report back to me!” Marco was determined not to be caught unaware ever again.

He followed the luggage to the room the royal couple was staying in and personally swept it before allowing the butlers to bring the luggage in. Several maids appeared in the room to unpack and put the clothes away.

A familiar voice drew his attention, and his eyes, across the room. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her. It was the girl he’d met on the train the day before he’d left with the engagement tour for New York, “Callie, right?”

“That’s right,” she answered, “And you’re Marco. I remember. I haven’t seen you since the engagement tour left Paris.”

“I know,” he responded, “I was in the states, then there’s been a lot of…turmoil since getting back.”

“Yes, that’s true,” she acknowledged sadly.

He hated seeing her sad, so he changed the subject quickly, “So, are you working the royal wedding?”

“Actually, no,” she giggled, “I have the day off. I’m going as an invited guest!”

“Really?”

“Really!” she confirmed, “Lady Riley invited me!”

“Oh, that’s great! I’ll be working that day.” It was all hands on deck for the royal wedding. Literally, no one in the guard had that day off. Not even Captain Walker. Being the best man situated him perfectly to be up close, covert security for the ceremony.

“Okay,” she gave him a shy smile, “Maybe I’ll see you there.”

She turned to leave, and panic sliced through him, “Wait!”

“Yes?” She turned back toward him expectantly.

“I…uh…I mean…” he rubbed the back of his neck as he silently cursed himself for fumbling this so badly. He had no game. He just knew he couldn’t lose track of her again, “Would you…maybe want to go on a date…with me?”

The smile on her face and the sparkle in her eyes took his breath away as she replied, “Yes, I would like that very much.”

Alec and Max:

“Hey, Max, need help with that?” Alec reached for one of the three suitcases Max was dragging from the trunk of the Beaumont limo.

“Oh…I…uh, sure, thanks!” He had been planning to wait for the Applewood butlers but suddenly found himself with a burning desire to carry his own luggage.

“Are you planning to accompany the king on the rest of the unity tour?” Alec asked as he pulled the front door of the manor open.

“Yeah, Riley needs me there for support. I’m the closest thing to a brother she has. Well, me and Bertrand.” Max answered as he walked through the door and headed for the stairs.

“Right,” Alec nodded, “I’ve noticed that.”

Max’s head snapped up, “You have?”

“Of course,” he replied as they climbed the stairway, “It’s my job to be observant. I see a lot.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Max pushed away the disappointment that swirled through him. Of course Alec wasn’t noticing him specifically, just things around Liam, because of his job.

“I’m So Good at Yoga” blared out of Max’s phone as they made it to the hallway at the top of the staircase and he tried to juggle the luggage while digging in his pocket.

“Here,” Alec took another one of the suitcases so Max could answer his phone.

“Thanks!” He pulled the phone from his pocket as they resumed walking and glanced down at the missed call then back up at Alec apologetically, “I should probably call back, it’s kind of my boyfriend…”

“Oh…you have a boyfriend?” There was something in his tone that made Max wish he didn’t have a boyfriend.

“Well, I mean, it’s not serious or anything!” Max said hurriedly, “We just went out a couple of times right before I left on the engagement tour.”

“You haven’t seen him since you’ve been back?”

“No, I’ve been…busy,” Max hedged. The truth was that Adam was hot as hell but as it turned out, they had very little in common. “What about you? Do you have a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend?” Max flushed from the tip of his nose down to the tips of his toes. Why would he ask Liam’s smoking hot personal guard about his relationship status?

“Well, it’s….complicated,” Alec answered.

“Isn’t it always?” Max asked rhetorically as he stopped in front of his room, “Well this is me, thanks again for the help.”

“Anytime, Max,” Alec pushed the door open and deposited the suitcases in the room. He hesitated in the doorway for a moment then gave Max a little wave before backing out into the hallway, “See you around.”

Leo and Liv:

“Oh, Leo! I didn’t realize you were here!” Olivia was shocked to find the older Rys brother wandering the halls of the Applewood estate.

“My little brother’s getting married, and my country is under attack! Of course, I came, Liv!” He huffed as if he were offended.

His defensive posture put her on the offense, “Well can you blame me for not knowing? You’re not exactly known for living up to your obligations.”

Leo looked like he’d been slapped, “That’s unfair, Liv! You know why I really left!”

Olivia flushed as she looked anywhere but his face. Liam’s coronation had been the first time she had seen him since the night he had chosen Madeline as his fiancé at the end of his own social season, and he had avoided her the entire night. She’d never gotten the chance to apologize, “Leo…should we talk?”

“What’s there to say, Liv? You walked out on me when I needed you most!” He turned to walk away. The memory of their breakup still stung a little too much.

“What if I wanted to say that I’m sorry? And I was wrong?”

He froze, his feet stuck to the hallway floor as his head turned to her in astonishment, “What?”

“I was wrong! I knew it the moment I walked out your door.” Her voice was almost a whisper.

“What are you saying right now, Liv? And I need you to be very, very clear because my heart can’t take anymore breaking!”

“I’m saying I was wrong…and….I want you back…” She studied the toe of her shoes, knowing and hating that her face was as red as her hair in that moment.

Hope surged in his chest, but he beat it back with logic as his face darkened, “Why? Because my brother is marrying someone else? I don’t want to be your consolation prize, Liv!”

“No, it’s not that!”

“What is it then?”

“Whatever residual feelings I had for Liam are long gone. And before you say it, this isn’t a rebound either! I’ve already done that! Don’t ask. My point is…You’re my best friend, you always make me laugh, and you’re the only one that really gets me, Leo. I…I love you!”

“Liv…I…I don’t know what to say…”

“It’s okay. I don’t expect you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know.” She wiped the tears from her eyes as she turned to hurry back to her room.

“Liv, wait!” He dropped his duffle bag on the floor and raced toward her.

She turned to face him and uttered a surprised, “Oh!” as his body crashed into hers. His arms went around her in a flash, keeping her from falling. She looked up into his sparkling ocean-blue eyes right before his lips crashed into hers.

Madeleine and Cassie:

Cassie walked back and forth in front of Madeleine’s door nervously twisting the butterfly ring on her right hand. Riley had given her the heads up that Madeleine had accepted the position as royal communications director, joined the unity tour, and would be at Applewood with them.

She hadn’t seen her since New York. After news of their separation broke, Madeleine had taken Liam up on his offer to take the royal jet home alone and send it back for the rest of the passengers. She had been in Fydelia licking her wounds in private until the unity tour had shown up on her doorstep.

Before she could work up the courage to knock on the door, it opened and she found herself face-to-face with the woman she had tricked and betrayed.

Madeleine froze as her eyes widened in surprise for a fraction of a second before the practiced haughty expression she used as her mask slammed into place, “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been staying here since we got back from New York.” Given that the press had been hounding her for a statement about her now nonexistent relationship with the countess of Fydelia, Applewood had seemed like a good spot to stay out of the limelight. Reporters staked out the palace on a regular basis.

“Okay. Why are you skulking outside my door?”

“You haven’t returned any of my calls or texts!”

“Why would I?” Madeleine asked coldly, “You made it very clear the night of my bachelorette party that you were horrified by my behavior and done with me. Then you used my feelings for you to lure me to that restaurant in Paris so you could set me up!”

Cassie blew out a long exhale, “I did do that, Madi, and I’m sorry but-“

The ice princess façade crumbled as fury flashed across her porcelain features, “Don’t call me that! You lost every right to call me that when you conspired with Liam against me!”

“He’s my cousin!” Cassie’s voice rose, “I told you, in the beginning, I was on his side!”

“I wasn’t aware there were sides, Cassie! I was blindsided by that article! Humiliated! Disgraced!”

“Were you though?” Cassie shot back, “That article made you look like fucking Mother Theresa!”

“I…” Madeleine glanced up and down the hallway, “If we’re going to do this, come inside. I don’t broadcast my business to the world!”

Cassie walked past the blond as she held the door to her room open. She turned to face her, “Madi-Madeleine, I did what I did because Liam asked me to and because I knew it was the right thing for him to be able to marry for love! But also because I believed it would be better for you as well, to be free from your father’s expectations and the prospect of a loveless marriage!”

Madeleine slammed the door shut. “You had no right to make such decisions on my behalf! Trying to control what I do and how I live my life makes you no better than my father!”

“You’re right,” Cassie conceded, “that was just an excuse, to justify it to myself. I did what I did for Liam. I’m sorry it hurt you, but I’m not sorry Liam is free to marry the woman he actually loves! And I’m not sorry you’re free to be your true self as well!”

Madeleine stared at her in shock, “You think this is supposed to be my coming out story? That you did me a favor by blowing up my life? Liam and I both could have taken lovers! It’s more or less expected of royalty! Do not try and spin this as being for me in any way!”

“Fine, I won’t. I’m sorry I hurt you, Madi.”

“Whatever. Why are you here?”

“I just wanted to check on you…make sure you’re okay…”

Madeleine made a choking noise of indignation, “Oh, how benevolent of you! I’m fine! Great! Fucking perfect! So, you can get out now!”

“Madi-“

“I told you not to call me that!” She said through clenched teeth as she flung the door open, “Now get out!”

Bertrand and Savannah:

“Savannah, thank you so much for allowing me to see Bartie today,” Bertrand said stiffly as he stood in the grand foyer of the palace. He should probably be at Applewood supporting the king, but he had a date with his son.

“Of course,” Savannah replied, “I wouldn’t keep him from you, you know that!”

He bit down on his lip so hard he drew his own blood.

She noticed, “What?”

“It’s nothing,” he adjusted his suit jacket, “I don’t want to start an argument.”

Savannah crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side, “Just say it, Bert!”

With an exasperated sigh he brought his eyes to hers, “But you did Savannah! You did! You robbed me of the first year and a half of his life! My son doesn’t even know who I am!”

“I…” she faltered at the obvious pain and anger in his eyes and his tone, “I told you why I did that! I thought you didn’t want to be with me!”

“And I told you that’s not true!” he hissed at her, “but even if it were, how does that justify keeping my child a secret from me? People who aren’t together co-parent all the time, Savannah!”

“I…that’s true,” she relented, “I’m sorry, okay? I was hurt and scared, and I needed some time and space to figure things out!”

“Two years though? In two years it never once occurred to you to call me? Text me? Email? Drop a letter in the post? Let Maxwell tell me? My own brother betrayed me in service to your secrets!”

Tears pooled in her eyes, “It occurred to me every single day! I wanted to call you, Bert! So many times! You have no idea!”

His anger abated in the face of her tears, “But you didn’t because you thought I wouldn’t want to hear from you.” They had been having this exact same argument over and over since she had returned from France and taken up residence in her old set of rooms at the palace.

It had ripped his heart out when she told him he had made her feel worthless and unwanted. Not good enough for him.

Bertrand and Bartie were gradually forming a parent-child bond but he wanted more than weekends or the occasional Tuesday in the park. He wanted to be a full-time parent and he wanted the woman he loved back. He wanted it all. He just had no idea how to fix the mess he had made when he’d told her they couldn’t be together.

He’d done it to protect her but it had been the biggest mistake of his life. She still didn’t trust him and he was angrier than he wanted to admit about her running away and keeping his child from him. She claimed it wasn’t, but it certainly felt like a punishment for his apparent rejection of her.

They’d had a few conversations and a lot of arguments in the week or two she’d first been back, then Drake had gotten shot and her focus had been on her brother, as it should. Bertrand had stepped up and taken over parenting duties so Savannah could spend time with Drake at the hospital. They had made progress, but it was slow going.

Now that Drake had left the capital to attend the unity tour as part of the royal entourage, he had hoped they could get back to working on what had gone wrong between them. It wasn’t going well. But he loved her and he felt tremendous guilt over his actions that had set the whole fiasco in motion. “Do you love me, Savannah?”

“What?” She blinked up at him, face wet with tears.

“It’s a simple question. Put everything else to the side for a moment. We can focus on just co-parenting if that’s what you want. I want more than that, I want us to be a family. I want you, Savannah! But I need to know if you want it too, or if I should give it up as a hopeless fantasy. I love you and I’m willing to put in the work. I just need to know I’m not alone in this. Do you even want to fix things between us?”

It was the first time he had ever plainly said how he felt and she felt every wall she had put in place to protect her wounded heart start to crumble as she nodded her head, “Yes, yes, I want that very much!”

Constantine and Regina:

“I should be on that unity tour with Liam!” Constantine struggled to sit up in the queen size hospital bed that had been custom ordered for him. The orchards at Applewood had been burned. Liam was there and would be addressing the nation later today while he was stuck at the palace. He should be there guiding and supporting his son in his new role as king, especially during such turmoil.

The exact thing he’d been trying to prevent when he’d ordered Bastien to sabotage the American suitor. For all the good it had done.

“It’s okay,” Regina soothed as she fluffed his pillows and helped him lean back, “He understands why you can’t be there.”

“He doesn’t trust me anymore.”

“Do you blame him?”

“No,” he sighed in defeat. Constantine had only wanted to spare Liam the heartbreak that marrying a commoner would eventually bring him. At least that’s what he had believed when he’d set his plan in motion. He had made peace with his son and future daughter-in-law but he had regrets. He looked up into the face of his wife as he took her hand, “I’ve done things that I’m ashamed of, I’ve made mistakes, but marrying you wasn’t one of them.”

“I know,” she smiled softly at him as she squeezed his hand, “You know Leo is back.”

“Is he?”

“Yes, he came for the wedding.”

“Is he here now?”

“No, he went straight to Applewood to join Liam and Riley, but I made him promise to come here and see you once the tour leaves for Castelsarreillan.”

“Good, that’s good.” He would get a chance to set things right with his older son before he died, “Thank you, my love.  I don’t deserve you, I know that.”

“Hush,” Regina blinked back her tears as she leaned over to drop a gentle kiss on his lips, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Logan and Ellie:

Logan and Ellie stepped off the plane in Cordonia. They had flown in on a small, private jet with Rashad Faheem, the lawyer that had helped get Logan’s passport expedited.

Regular flights into and out of the country had been temporarily suspended due to the volatile nature of the current situation. It was the same reason Drake wouldn’t be there to greet them. He was with Liam at a place called Applewood. Some orchards had been burned or something.

Instead, they were approached by a woman with short-cropped dark hair and a dark suit. She was followed by several uniformed guardsmen, “Welcome to Cordonia. You must be Logan and Ellie. I’m Lieutenant Colonel Mara Levidis, I’ll be escorting you to the palace and getting you set up with your credentials.” She motioned to the guards behind her, “Let’s go! Lord Faheem, thank you for delivering them.”

“Not a problem Colonel,” he smiled warmly at her then clapped Logan on the back, “I have to get back to my office now, see you two around!”

Their luggage was taken by two guardsmen and they were escorted to a black SUV. “I can’t believe we’re going to live at a real-life palace!” Ellie whispered to him.

“It’s a whole new adventure,” he whispered back, taking her hand in his, “And I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else! You’re not just my girlfriend, Ellie, you’re my best friend! You know that, right?”

“I know,” she nodded, “and you’re mine.”

She wasn’t just his best friend either. She was his future and now that the charges hanging over his head were gone and there was an ocean between them and her father, he could make good on the plans that he had for them.

Based on the salary he had been offered as Liam’s personal driver, he was sure he could have enough money saved to buy an engagement ring by Valentine’s Day. He released her hand so that he could loop an arm around her as he leaned back into the leather seat and watched the Cordonian countryside fly past his window.

Bastien and Bianca:

“Thank you, Harvey,” Bianca took the bundle of mail from the letter carrier. The mailbox for the ranch was at the end of a two-mile-long private drive and Harvey often drove the mail to her door when there was a lot of it.

She closed the door and walked back into the kitchen, glancing up at the small TV mounted in the corner of the room as she made her way back to the table. She kept it there so she could catch up with the news and weather reports in the morning over breakfast and coffee.

Right now it was tuned to an international news channel. A reporter with a blonde bob stood in front of Applewood, the Rys family estate. Liam was scheduled to make a statement about the recent attacks in Cordonia.

Bianca was worried about her children. Especially Drake. Unrest was bad news for everyone, but her son was more at risk than most due to the nature of his career choices. He was a lot like his father that way.

She knew a lot of people looked down on her for abandoning her children after her husband’s death, but that wasn’t what happened.

Jackson Walker had been the love of her life. She had been there for her children as much as she had been capable of considering she had been drowning in an ocean of her own grief and despair. She’d done what she had to do when she made the decision to come back home. She couldn’t stay in the home she had shared with Jackson, and the ranch had needed her.

Leona had called her in the months following the funeral to tell her the ranch was going to be repossessed so she’d gotten on a plane, thinking at the time that it would be a short trip. Once she’d realized that the ranch needed her to stay, she had begged her children to join her, but they had refused, not wanting to give up the lives they’d built in the only home they’d ever known. Realizing they had already lost enough, she’d eventually relented and let them stay.

She sorted quickly through the mail, her heart stopping at the letter from Cordonia with the familiar slanting script on it. She tore the envelope open and scanned the contents.

She’d already been invited to the royal wedding, by Liam and Riley. She was one of the few people who knew that even though Riley would be walking down that aisle to Liam, she had already pledged her life to both of the men who would be waiting at the altar. There would be a separate, private, unofficial ceremony for Riley and Drake. It wouldn’t be legally binding, but it would be emotionally significant for them. She wanted to be there for that.

What she held in her hands though was not an official invitation to anything, but an impassioned plea to come to Cordonia and attend the royal wedding as Bastien’s plus one. His date.

She had not been completely unaware of Bastien’s unrequited feelings for her when she was married to his best friend and mentor. She was not ungrateful for the way he had stepped up and been there for Drake and Savannah, and for her after Jackson’s death. She also wasn’t without guilt for letting herself fall into his arms in the way of comfort on several of those long, dark nights and she certainly wasn’t without a bit of shame for the way she had ghosted him because of that guilt when she’d decided to stay in Texas.

Jackson Walker had been the love of her life. But Jackson had been gone for a decade and he’d want her to move on and live her life.

She tapped the letter against her palm for a moment before deciding that it was time to stop running from her past. She picked up her phone and dialed a number she hadn’t dialed in nearly ten years.

[cometomecosette]

Video Review: Les Misérables, 3rd National Tour, 2000, Act II (long)

Here’s the second half of my review of this complete Les Mis performance, which I wrote some time ago but I'm sharing again in honor of Barricade Day.

Main Cast

Jean Valjean: Ivan Rutherford

Javert: Stephen Bishop

Fantine: Joan Almedilla

Thénardier: J.P. Dougherty

Mme. Thénardier: Aymee Garcia

Marius: Tim Howar

Enjolras: Kevin Earley

Éponine: Sutton Foster

Cosette: Regan Thiel

Grantaire/Bamatabois: Trent Blanton

Young Cosette: Stephanie Mieko Cohen

Gavroche: Christopher Carlson

“Upon These Stones,” “On My Own,” “The Barricade,” “Javert at the Barricade,” “Little People”

Sometimes the smallest details can change our impressions of a character. For example, Sutton’s Éponine purposefully gets Marius’s attention by touching his back as she walks past him. Éponines who do this create a different sense of their desires and motives than Éponines who don’t. There’s also a big difference between Éponines who sing “Little you know! Little you care!” alone after Marius leaves and those who, like Sutton here, sing it as an outburst directly to Marius’s face, angrily snatching the letter from his hand. Every Éponine I ever saw in both the 3rd National Tour and the 2006 Broadway revival did the latter. Personally, I think it’s a bit petulant compared to singing the line alone. But if we assume she’s come to the barricade hoping Marius will finally love her for joining the battle – which her purposefully letting him know she’s there might imply – and yet he still doesn’t get it, I suppose an outburst to his face is understandable.

I like that neither Tim’s Marius nor Ivan’s Valjean are too harsh with Éponine. Tim strikes a good balance between stern and caring, while Ivan is nicely gentle instead of automatically treating her like a spy for Javert. His letter-reading is good too, though I wish the camera showed his face instead of focusing on Éponine as she eavesdrops.

I’ve written about Sutton’s “On My Own” before, but I’ll restate my feelings here. I honestly don’t think anyone has ever sung the song more beautifully; her voice is like flame and crystal combined in sound form. And her journey from happy dreams to raw anger and despair is vivid and deeply felt without a trace of sentimentality. I can’t fault it, even though I personally don’t care much for angry renditions of this song.

The barricade boys’ pledge to hold the barricade and defiance of the officer’s warning are gripping as they should be, especially the magnificent high A sung by Ben Davis’s Feuilly on “We’ll be there!” It’s no wonder that he went on to sing operatic roles as well as musical theatre.

Christopher’s Gavroche comes into his own in “Little People.” His Act I might have been slightly bland, but here I can fully believe in his spunk and cheek.

Kevin’s commanding presence as Enjolras and the rich-voiced stolidness of Stephen’s Javert are still outstanding.

The tone of the “Little People” scene definitely changes when the now usually-cut lines before and after “Shoot me now or shoot me later…” are included. Instead of just a few boys clamoring ineffectually in the background to shoot Javert, the barricade erupts into chaos after Javert is outed as a spy, with Courfeyrac, Feuilly and others forming an impromptu firing squad to shoot him in blatant defiance of Enjolras’s orders, and with Enjolras and Combeferre’s cooler heads just barely prevailing in the end. I still wonder why the scene was written this way, when it has no basis in the novel. I can only assume the musical’s authors thought it would be more moving to see the barricade boys come close to falling into bloodlust and anarchy under the stress of adversity, only to ultimately choose idealism, courage and unity, than if they were always disciplined and unified. Maybe on the stage, this is true.

At any rate, I like the detail of Gavroche grabbing a gun to join the impromptu firing squad and a woman trying to wrest the gun from him. It’s a welcome, subtle touch of comic relief and fully in character for the boy.

“A Little Fall of Rain,” Night of Anguish,” “First Attack, “Drink With Me”

Kudos to Sutton for remembering to act wounded even before she collapses, climbing very slowly down the barricade, having to stop and rest midway down, and then clutching Marius for support. Not all other Éponines do that. During the song she never cries out or writhes in pain, but I think it works. The motionless tension of her body makes me assume that her Éponine is hiding her pain from Marius, which fits with the lyrics, and of course lets us focus on the moment’s tender emotions. In the last verse, I like the way she gently fades away, loosening her grip on Marius’s arm and lying completely still except to move her lips as she sings, but then, at the very end, finding the strength to pull herself up and kiss him. It evokes the way Hugo’s Éponine lies so motionless that Marius thinks she’s already dead, only to open her eyes and utter her love confession.

Tim’s concern and tenderness compliment Sutton’s performance perfectly, and though his grief is quiet and understated, it’s still poignant.

The moment when Enjolras comforts Marius is understated yet touching too. Kevin’s Enjolras is clearly pained by Éponine’s death but seems at a loss for what to say or do for Marius. In the end, a silent shared arm-clasp is all that’s needed.

When Valjean arrives, the Amis take a fairly calm, wary yet respectful approach to interrogating him, lowering their guns as soon as they realize he’s not a real National Guardsman. I’m tempted to like this better than versions like the 2012 movie where they’re aggressive and almost ready to shoot him on sight, although the latter is valid too.

During the battle, I see another detail I remember reading about in reviews. When Kevin’s Enjolras kneels down to assist the student who’s been wounded by the sniper, only to be narrowly missed by another bullet from said sniper, he falls backward and sits paralyzed in shock, looking like “a frightened little blond boy” (as I remember one fan writing) until Valjean helps him up. I know that some fans can be touchy about Enjolras showing any weakness, but I personally don’t mind this detail. It’s only a brief moment, and like the above-mentioned moment with Marius, it’s a humanizing image that makes Enjolras believable not only as a staunch leader, but as a young man facing the threat of death for the first time. (Yes, I know Hugo’s Enjolras also fought in 1830, but the musical never mentions this.)

Besides, I love the way Grantaire snaps out of his motionless stupor to reach out to Enjolras when that brush with death occurs.

Stephen and Ivan are both excellent in the releasing scene. Stephen moves believably from rage and disgust at having Valjean as his executioner, to confusion when he’s freed, to smug disdain when he thinks he’s figured out Valjean’s motive, to a slow, speechless, dumbfounded exit, while by contrast Ivan’s Valjean remains staunchly calm, not losing his temper at Javert’s insults, but firmly committed to doing the right thing.

Moving on to “Drink With Me,” Trent’s Grantaire puts an interesting spin on his solo by addressing specific lines to specific individuals, to whom (if we know the Ami’s individual personalities in the novel) each line has the most meaning. “Can it be you fear to die?” he directs to Joly, the hypochondriac. “Will the world remember you when you fall?” is aimed at Feuilly, the orphan who has no family to remember him. And of course “Will your death be one more lie?” he addresses to Enjolras.

Then we have a beautiful Enjolras/Grantaire reconciliation, which unfortunately the cameraperson only shows us in part. Enjolras first stares at Grantaire, then angrily grabs his shoulder, with poor Grantaire shielding his face as if he expects to be hit. But then they gaze at each other, for a long time, and then finally, warmly clasp hands. It’s too bad that the cameraperson chooses to pan around the stage during their long shared gaze instead of showing us their expressions leading up to the hand-clasp. But I suppose the E/R relationship wasn’t quite at the fandom’s forefront in 2000 the way it is now (it was already a popular ship, if I remember correctly from my middle and high school days, but slightly less so than Éponine/Marius or Enjolras/female OCs).

Tim’s soft, sad delivery of Marius’s verse at the end is very touching and I like the consoling pat on the knee Trent’s Grantaire gives him before walking away

The ensemble work is excellent, as always.

“Bring Him Home,” “Dawn of Anguish,” “Second Attack (Death of Gavroche),” “The Final Battle,” “Dog Eats Dog”

Ivan’s “Bring Him Home” is beautiful.

I hope that someday, somehow I see a production of Les Mis that includes the “Drink With Me” reprise. It add so much more emotional weight than there is when the women simply hurry off and the battle commences. By the way, here’s a question for people who were fans before the cuts were made. Did the “Drink With Me” reprise always end with Enjolras and Marius clasping arms at the top of the barricade? Was this a universal part of Nunn and Caird’s staging? It’s a beautiful reinforcement of Enjolras and Marius’s friendship and Marius’s now-unwavering loyalty to his friends, but still, if I were to direct a new production, I’d be tempted to have Grantaire share that moment with Enjolras instead. I think it might be a better moment for their reconciliation than “Drink With Me.”

Christopher’s Gavroche is still less vivid than others I’ve seen, and the moment of his death looks slightly unconvincing (he breaks the fall with his hands a bit too obviously), but he still gives a solid performance overall.

To the very end, Kevin’s Enjolras is fully believable as the staunch, dignified, heroic leader, yet still a human being. His slow descent from the barricade after Gavroche’s death – the only movement onstage while everyone else is frozen in shock and grief – and seeming obliviousness to the offstage officer’s voice as he stands and ponders what’s happened and what’s to come is both poignant and true to the spirit of Hugo’s Enjolras. We can sense his pain, yet he faces it with stoic dignity and undying courage. His “Let others rise…” is powerful, even though he neither shouts nor goes for the high note on “…is free!”

And then there’s the heartbreaking moment after Marius falls, when Enjolras hurries to him, throws poor Grantaire aside, and tries vainly and irrationally to revive his seemingly dead friend before rushing off to his own death. Some might argue that this is out of character for Hugo’s Enjolras, and it’s definitely not realistic for the middle of a battle when, as Hugo repeatedly writes, you can’t stop for anything. But it’s moving, although I would have liked a more meaningful last interaction with Grantaire than just a quick glance.

The fall of the barricade and the tableau of Enjolras’s body on the barricade are epic and heartbreaking, as always. No other staging can surpass the original.

J.P.’s Thénardier definitely feels more alive in his sinister scenes than in the comedy scenes. I’m not quite sure why I always remembered him as being mainly a comic Thénardier. It was probably his looks, I’m sorry to say – it was too easy to mentally pigeonhole him as “the funny fat guy.” At any rate, his “Dog Eats Dog” is deliciously dark and mocking.

“The Sewers,” “Javert’s Suicide,” “Turning,” “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables,” “Every Day”

I remember one thing J.P.’s Thénardier used to do that annoyed fans back in the day was to silently break the fourth wall by visibly waiting for the audience to applaud after “Dog Eats Dog,” then shrug his shoulders when they didn’t. He did this the first time I saw the show. But thankfully he doesn’t do it here.

Kudos to Ivan for actually carrying Marius throughout the sewer sequence. We get none of the standard “Marius tries his best to look unconscious and disguise the fact that he’s actually walking while Valjean supports him” business seen in so many other performances.

Stephen gives a powerful rendition of “Javert’s Suicide,” both in his sumptuous voice and in his vivid rage and torment.

“Turning” is poignant, as it should be. The fact that the pregnant woman is played by a black actress instantly makes me think of the fandom’s widely-accepted headcanon of Musichetta as a woman of color – as far a my imagination is concerned, it’s her, and the unborn baby’s father was either Joly or Bossuet. I’ll also imagine that she’ll eventually meet Marius and Cosette and they’ll help to support her and provide for the baby.

Tim’s “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” is beautiful and moving. His warm, darkly-shaded voice is wonderfully suited to the music, and while his grief is subtly conveyed, it can still be deeply felt. This is a trend throughout this particular performance, I think: the story is told with as little sentimentality as the material allows, and the male characters in particular are all played with a stoicism not seen in other portrayals, but their emotions can still be felt no matter how quiet they are.

The uncut “Every Day” is gently and sweetly performed by Regan, Tim, and Ivan when he joins them. The ending is adorable, with Marius and Cosette holding hands and almost face-to-face when they notice Valjean watching them, and being the modest 19th century pair they are, quickly draw apart and try to look “seemly,” only for Valjean to lovingly rejoin their hands. Unfortunately, Regan goes a bit off-pitch on her final note, but that note tends to be a hit-or-miss one for most Cosettes.

“Valjean’s Confession,” “Wedding Chorale/Beggars at the Feast”

Ivan and Tim are both spot-on in “Valjean’s Confession.” Ivan is more stoic than Hugo’s Valjean is in this scene, but this is true of his Valjean throughout, and as always, in his subtle way he still conveys his struggle and pain. I’ve heard other Valjeans be more forceful and demanding on “Promise me, M’sieur, Cosette will never know!” but the way Ivan’s voice becomes so soft and pleading instead is probably even more disarming to Marius.

Moving on to the wedding, it’s so nice to hear Marius’s exchange with the Thénardiers uncut. Éponine is remembered, her parents earn more hate with their cold, selfish response, and they build up their revelation about Valjean with just the right preamble to entice Marius – even if they do have to chase him around the ballroom to do it. I notice that Tim’s Marius tries to walk away before Thénardier brings up the “murder” (presumably he thinks they’re just going to reveal that Valjean is a convict, which he already knows), but a soon as Thénardier makes the murder claim, he becomes concerned and listens. This is different from Niklas Andersson’s London Marius in the same year (so far the only other video I’ve watched of the uncut scene), who stalked away in disgust after Thénardier made the murder claim, refusing to believe that Valjean could be a killer as well as a thief.

Regan’s Cosette looks appropriately startled and confused after Thénardier drags her into a wild spinning dance and then Marius punches him. I wonder if she recognized him in that moment?

J.P. and Aymee do a fine job with the Thénardiers’ final flourish. Just enough slapstick to get laughs (e.g. Aymee’s pantalette-flashing fall when she tries to curtsy, the business with the dropped silver later), but not enough to turn them into caricatures. “Beggars at the Feast” is just the right exuberant uplift (however cynical the lyrics) that we need before the finale.

Epilogue

As is characteristic of this cast, Valjean’s death and heavenward ascent are depicted calmly and gently, with tears and sentimentality kept to a minimum, but with genuine love and warmth in abundance. Ivan’s Valjean infuses his last moments with quiet dignity and tenderness, as well as beautiful soft singing, while Joan’s Fantine is appropriately angelic, and Regan’s Cosette, Tim’s Marius and Sutton’s Éponine beautifully round out the scene. The moment when Fantine kneels before Valjean and he reaches out to take her hand, only for Cosette to take her mother’s place for their last reunion, is very touching. So is the way Regan’s Cosette lingers over her father’s lifeless body, staring into his face in utter disbelief until finally Marius gently draws her away. The little hug she gives Marius near the end of the final chorus is also as sweet as can be (as I’ve mentioned before, they were a couple in real life at the time).

The final chorus is magnificent, as it always should be. An excellent end to an excellent performance.

[danaraeblogs]

K-pop concerts are undoubtedly better than any other concert. As someone who has attended plenty of concerts, including over a dozen K-pop concerts in Los Angeles, I have the proper credentials to make such a bold statement. Any K-pop fan could tell you that attending a K-pop concert is a life experience like no other. With addictive melodies, electric fan energy, and high-quality production, it is no wonder why K-pop groups have stolen the hearts of many (including myself).

K-pop takes concert culture to another level. From the moment you arrive at the venue, you can feel the immense excitement from the fans. When attending a K-pop concert, fans express their dedication and love for the group by dressing up in style. Don't be surprised to see fans in costumes and outfits that correlate with the group's latest music video or concept. This is part of the fun! I recently attended Enhypen's Fate Tour in Los Angeles and saw a group of girls dressed up in corn suits because one of the member's favorite foods is corn. I hope they ended up catching his attention.

Instead of arriving at the venue later in the evening when the concert starts, K-pop concerts can become an entire day affair filled with K-pop fun. Fans arrive early to line up for merchandise, take photos of their elaborate outfits, exchange gifts, and participate in interactive activities. Fans often connect through social media apps to share meet-up spots for certain activities and connect prior to the concert. It is common for people to create "freebies" to pass out. These can include friendship bracelets, photos of the artists, and candy. It almost feels like everyone is already friends. I have attended many concerts alone and made a handful of friends by the night's end (Some I still talk to regularly). K-pop concerts create a safe and inclusive atmosphere for everyone. Since everyone is here for the same artist, we are all connected by our shared love of music, which I think is so special.

Of course, K-pop concerts are particularly special because of the overall concert energy and fantastic production value. First of all, K-pop concerts rarely have an opening act. Shows start promptly, and all the attention is on the K-pop group. When you enter the concert venue, you will see fans with hand-held light sticks unique to each K-pop group. These light sticks light up during the concert, creating an ocean of beautiful colors. When the show starts, it is more than just listening to the music. K-pop performances include elaborate choreography, eye-catching visuals, and even creative storylines. K-pop groups practice intensely to display flawless performances for their fans.

Another thing that stands out from regular concerts is the interaction between idols and fans. K-pop prioritizes fan engagement. Not only do fans love the music, but we love the idols as people. This is because they connect with their fans on a personal level. Between performances, artists will stop and talk to fans, show off their charms, and play interactive games. I recommend learning the group's key dance moves because you might be on the spot on the big screen. Fans will also memorize fan chants to scream during specific songs to show their love and dedication to their idols. When everyone is shouting the exact words in unison, it creates an environment of unity between fans and the artists, adding to the unforgettable experience of a K-pop concert.

K-pop raises the standards for concerts. I truly encourage everyone to experience a K-pop concert. You will witness outstanding performances and leave with a handful of friends, goodie bags, and unforgettable memories.

[tomsmusictaste]

Tom’s Top Ten | ALBUMS 2022

Ok, 2022 has been a wild ride for music, there have been some absolutely incredible releases across the board, probably the hardest time I've had getting the definitive top ten since 2016 in terms of there just being so much good stuff! Also been something of a wild ride for this blog, I broke a thousand followers (and thank you all so much 🥰) and started getting a lot more asks from you guys than I used to have, which has been very cool — but anyway, let’s get into what you’re really here for: the music! Without further ado, here are my personal Top Ten Albums of 2022!

10. Harder Than It Looks by Simple Plan

This is one of my favourite start-to finish releases from Simple Plan in a long time; their past few albums I was meh on, but this one worked for me - the singles The Antidote and Ruin My Life were absolute bangers that both made my Wrapped, super cool for them to be working and touring with Sum 41 after all this time, an absolute solid record from SP here.

Favourite song: Ruin My Life (feat. Deryck Whibley)

9. Crisis Of Faith by Billy Talent

This one was a long-time coming; with a fairly sparse distribution of singles over the lockdown years it feels like the wind got knocked out of the sails in the build-up to this album, the album itself didn't disappoint. While I don't think it's as good as Afraid Of Heights was, it was certainly a very solid output with some incredible catchy songs.

Favourite song: Hanging Out With All The Wrong People

8. That Ain’t It by Gold Steps

Contrary to the album's name, this one very much was "it." Now various sources went back and forth over whether this was an album or EP, but y'know what, it's got enough songs and they're all fucking BANGERS! I vaguely knew of these guys before this year because they'd toured with Settle Your Scores, but I'm so glad I started paying more attention to them this year because this record was great.

Favourite song: Love Song

7. Distance Or Decay by In Her Own Words

Had never heard of these guys until I saw the video for their song with Derek from State Champs, and from there I was hooked. I'm definitely glad I found these guys during the run-up to this album, because the album itself is stellar. It earned itself several repeat listens from me this year.

Favourite song: Raining In Toronto (feat. Jonathan Vigil)

6. I Went To Hell And Back by As It Is

Rarely do As It Is release an album that does't end up on this list and with IWTHAB they'd done it again! A bit more experimental than their previous work, but stacked to the rafters with banger after banger, definitely a great one to listen to during a frustrating time early on in the year.

Favourite songs: I Miss 2003

5. Luv Sux by Avril Lavigne

I am honestly quite surprised by how much I liked Avril's new album, but from the moment Bite Me was released I had a strong incling it was gonna end up on this list - a return to early 00s' guitar driven sound is present throughout and her voice is still as great as it ever was.

Favourite song: Bite Me

4. Planet Zero by Shinedown

Shinedown!!! This was definitely the year of my Shinedown awakening, after previously only really knowing 'Enemies' and 'Unity' by them, I saw them at Download Festival and realised I had been sleeping on them before now. Since then I have been listening hard to their entire discography, all the way up to this year's release, Planet Zero, which was phenomenal! And it got released on my birthday, so that's an added bonus!

Favourite song: The Saints Of Violence And Innuendo

3. f.e.a.r. (fuck everything and run) by Stand Atlantic

The vibes of this album are IMMACULATE. While I've liked StAts previous albums a lot, it feels like in this one they have really hit their stride and found their sound. Bonnie's voice is great, the features are great, it's got such a fun atmosphere throughout the whole thing. Definitely Stand Atlantic's best work yet.

Favourite song: molotov (ok)

2. Upright Animals by Dragged Under

Last time I had Dragged Under on a top ten albums list they just snuck in at the ninth or tenth spot. With the last album I liked it well enough but I wasn't blown away by it. This album? I was BLOWN AWAY by it. Similar to StAt, it feels like they really found their sound in this one, I had this on a damn-near constant repeat after it came out, there's not a single skip on the album, every single song is just top notch. There's still a good variety keeping the balance between the more pop-punk stuff and the heavier stuff, but this time they don't feel like they 'kinda sound like ADTR' - this time they feel like they are definitively Dragged Under. This whole album was banger.

Favourite song: Long Live The King

Ok so now I’m gonna pull a WatchMojo and throw out some Honourable Mentions; those go to: Suckerpunch by Maggie Lindemann, Baku’s Revenge by Magnolia Park, Imposter Syndrome by Action/Adventure and Run by Future Palace

So now, to reveal which album made the number one spot 🥁🥁🥁

My ALBUM OF THE YEAR for 2022 is…

1. Kings Of The New Age by State Champs 👑👑👑

I honesty had a really tough time figuring out what order these final four were gonna go in, but as I was putting them into this list it became clear there really couldn't be any other choice for AOTY this year. After a, not bad, but not stand-out release in Living Proof, KOTNA brought the Champs back with a Bang! You know what I wanted to do the first time I finished listening to this record? Listen to it again! I will say the one thing that I thought could've been better on this was more integration with the featured guests in the songs, but the guest spots themselves are all really good! Especially Ben Barlow's and Four Year Strong's. As the guys themselves say, they are 'here to stay' and I for one am glad. This era of State Champs is glorious and I cannot wait for what's next, because it really does seem like it's all uphill from here.

And there you have it! Those are my Top Ten Albums of the 2022!

[fasttube]

The Literacy of Lyricism: For Swifties

I stand by my seat at The Eras Tour and eagerly await the arrival of one of my favorite artists as the clock on the screen counts down. The screams around me reach an unimaginable volume as we all hear “It’s been a long time coming.” I look out at the crowd and see so many faces. Almost every single one was screaming or crying, some were doing both. This singular person who was coming up on stage had created a mass fanbase of people who would cheer for her through thick and thin. In fact, Taylor Swift has created more than just a fanbase, she’s made a community. Communities can be defined simply as a group of people whose interactions create some kind of unity and commonality (Prior 26). However, the Swiftie community goes further than this by becoming a discourse community. It’s a discourse community through which people engage with each other on topics relating to Taylor. Where they have online chatrooms and in-person events to discuss and share their thoughts on Taylor and her music. Where dozens of fanfictions, parodies, blog posts, and even full-length college courses are created to spread the “word” of Blondie, a term of endearment by fans for Taylor. I make it sound like a cult, and although some people take it seriously enough to call it a religion, it’s just an accepting community that shares the goal of appreciating and sharing the music of Taylor Swift (Swales 12). Because of all these things, I find it fitting to define the Swiftie fanbase as a discourse community, according to John Swales's definition. The main mechanism through which Swifties appreciate and share Taylor’s music is through her lyrics. These lyrics enable Swifties to pursue writing and advocacy in some of the contexts that Taylor writes about. Through Taylor Swift’s lyricism, the literacy of Swifties is uplifted and encouraged in the contexts of emotional expression, feminism, and insecurity.

Writing and literacy can take many forms. It can be in the form of poetry, screenplays, non-fiction books, Tumblr blogs, or lyrics, among many others. Lyricism, especially, is one of the most popular ways that literacy can be learned and spread. Although I have heard my fair share of lyrics and songs with questionable messaging and imagery, I believe most artists value their lyrics. One such artist is Taylor Swift. About an hour into the concert, I stood by my seat eagerly anticipating the next song and saw one of her backup singers hand her a guitar. She strums casually, gives a little speech about love, and asks, “Do you have about 10 minutes to spare”. The crowd goes absolutely buck wild, all of us recognizing that she’s singing the 10-minute version of her Grammy award-winning song, All Too Well. For the many Swifties at the show and me, this song carries much meaning all because of the touching lyrics she wrote. As the bridge of the song builds, I take a deep breath and prep my vocal cords to scream out as loud as they can.

“And you call me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest. I’m a crumpled-up piece of paper lying here cause I remember it all too well.”

I look at my cousin next to me and she is brazenly sobbing while singing each lyric and screaming as she recalls that last time someone hurt her and made her feel the same feeling that Taylor was singing about. That’s one of the beauties of the lyricism of Taylor Swift, the relatability that allows people to feel comfortable sharing their feelings.

Blondie’s music has always been catered towards women, both young and old. So, the teenage girls within all of us that have been heartbroken a dozen times over because of our fresh, unexperienced hearts, really FEEL every word that she writes. This feeling is especially multiplied when I look online and see hundreds of blog posts, tweets, and images detailing how a stranger hundreds of miles away feels exactly the same way that I did. Knowing that someone else feels the same way I did, gives Swifties the confidence to share their stories and tell others of their ventures, both gleeful and sorrowful. In this way, the Swiftie community uplifts and encourages each other to write their feelings. The encouragement that is provided among the Swifties community and from Taylor Swift’s lyrics, empowers fans to engage in literacy that has to do with their own emotions and manner of expression. Even as someone who is studying to be a writer/editor, I still find it difficult to find the right words to express myself and my feelings. I often find it impossible to put pen to paper and write exactly how I feel in regard to what I felt at a specific moment; it’s why I have never been one for journaling. The masterful lyricism with which Taylor Swift writes is one that inspires me to find better ways of expressing myself. And this is something that is further fostered by the Swiftie community. Every cover, parody, inspired piece of poetry or art, is uplifted and celebrated by Swifties. They’ve even come together as a community and created fan chants to sing during some of Taylor’s songs and a slurry of inside jokes that only other Swifties would recognize. This scale of supportiveness and expression of the community is something that is second to none among the often-toxic fandoms that many recording artists have amassed.

Soon after the Red era of songs was over, the entire stage was emptied as just Taylor walked towards the end of the stage. At the end of the stage stood a wooden piano, decorated with painted flowers. The entire audience was abuzz with anticipation as we waited to see what song would come next. Taylor spoke, giving a relatively long speech about the love she has for her fans before introducing her special guest for the evening, Aaron Dessner, one of her co-songwriters. The crowd went wild once again, I stood in confusion but cheered and asked my cousin “Who’s that?”, “That’s one of her songwriters,” she said. I understood the cheers now, this was someone who had written some of Taylor’s most powerful and touching songs. He begins to play the piano, everyone sitting in silence trying to see what song it was. This was what was called “Surprise song time”, where Taylor would choose two songs from her discography to sing acoustically. It was different at every show so the fans never knew what surprise song was coming even if they knew the full setlist. In the midst of Aaron’s piano playing, “What did you think I'd say to that?” is sung, and as if they were commanded to do so, the crowd screams in unison and begins to sing along with Taylor. After the first verse, she almost angrily sings

“Good wives always know, she should be mad, should be scathing like me, but no one likes a mad woman. What a shame she went mad... And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out And you find something to wrap your noose around. And there's nothin' like a mad woman”

I feel anger well up from deep within me as I recall all the times, I have had to suppress my feelings for fear of being told I am “crazy”. This is an experience not unique only to me, but rather one that could be felt by every woman who exists in male-dominated spaces (which, let's be honest, is almost everywhere).

As a woman, I find it to be incredibly important to read, listen to, and watch material that empowers women and supports feminism. This applies to books, movies, academic texts, and music. Music is mostly the one that I surround myself with the most. Music is the media that reaches the widest audience, as it can be listened to, recognized, and appreciated beyond the barrier of language. The lyricism of songs like “Mad Woman” and some of Taylor’s other songs, allows Swifties to be empowered and embrace their femininity without fear of judgment. The song reminds me of the story The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, a story about a woman who slowly goes mad as the men around her ignore her and her pleas for help. Although in this story the narrator actually does become a “mad woman” it is because of the lack of reception and mental help that her physician husband refused to give her. Both this story and Taylor’s song encompass the experiences that most women have. Experiences where men undermine the feelings of women and place them under this umbrella of being “crazy” rather than acknowledging their very real feelings and issues.

The lyrics behind “mad woman” encourage women to put their feelings into words, specifically their feelings about being a woman. Women are inspired to become feminists through songs like these. Although feminism has gotten a bad rap, it’s really just a different word for equality (Logsdon 5). In this constant struggle for equality, the sharing of female rage and despair actually uplifts women to continue the fight, rather than delving them into a depression from the lack of equal rights. The feminist lyrics behind some of Taylor’s songs, promote Swifties to engage more with feminist rhetoric and discourse. From this, the community gains a newfound courage to share and engage with feminist literacy. This form of literacy actually encourages abstract and conceptual language (Havelock 1). The metaphorical nature of her lyrics adds a visual component to her already descriptive and immersive audio. In this song, the lyrics give Swifties the image of a man pushing and pushing a woman till she reaches a point where she goes mad. The relatability of Taylor’s lyrics once again serves as the catalyst for why Swifties engage so much with her music and get inspired and empowered by it.

The crowd was still yelling, with screams getting more and more raspy as people lost their voices. The first surprise song had finished and left all the women in the crowd with a rush of adrenaline as they thought of all the times, they were told they were “mad”. These screams continued as Aaron left the stage. Screams still cheer out for Taylor as we see water being projected onto the stage. Taylor readies herself assumes a position similar to that of professional divers and literally jumps headfirst onto the stage. “What the, that was so cool!” I remember exclaiming to my cousin as we watched the interim visuals of Taylor Swift swimming inside the stage. Soon after this truly jarring moment, the final era of the tour, Midnights, was about to begin. I really wasn’t ready for it to be over, I felt what seemed to be every emotion possible throughout the last 2 and a half hours of this show. I probably screamed the loudest of everyone in my section, even with my already shredded vocal cords from the night of excess screaming. We eventually reached my favorite song from the era, Anti-Hero. It’s a song I, unfortunately, deeply relate to.

“It’s me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. At teatime, everybody agrees. I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror”

My throat grew tight as I felt the emotions rush through me, it became almost painful as it combined with the soreness I already had. I knew exactly what it felt like to be insecure about the things you do and to have anxiety about what you could have done better. It’s a feeling I know isn’t unique, but one that still hits hard nonetheless.

It’s not often that I get emotional in a space with so many people around. I normally like to keep my emotions to myself. But something about the experience of seeing this person on stage singing about this feeling that I had had so many times before and that I see so many people around me sharing, had me close to tears. The song itself is upbeat and happy sounding, but the lyrics tell a story of anxiety and insecurity. As a student, I especially relate to the feelings in this song as I often question my abilities and wonder if my writing is good enough. And I know I’m not alone. In a letter to her students, Erica Dolson exclaims about how she so desperately wishes that she could allay the sentiments of stress and anxiety that her students express to her (1). Despite advice on breathing, healthy habits, and professional help, those emotions are still there. One thing that has really helped me with my anxieties and insecurities is knowing that I am not the only one who feels this way. Dolson explains that she also feels those same stresses and anxieties as her students do. Taylor Swift, this person who people have long been idolizing and claiming to be perfect, also feels that same way and she’s letting us fans know that through her lyrics. She’s insecure about her writing, her actions, and herself. Swifties feel these insecurities and anxieties too, and by opening up about these things, Taylor Swift is sponsoring the normalization of vulnerability and creating mental health literacy.

Through this normalization, the Swifties community becomes a supportive space where people can express their feelings and show their vulnerability with people who will try their best to uplift someone out of those negative thoughts. On Twitter (I know it’s X now, but that name is stupid so I still call it Twitter), I’ve seen dozens of posts from Taylor Swift update accounts who apologize for being inactive because of their mental health. Rather than attacking this person for being absent and being upset that they didn’t get their daily Taylor Swift news, the community supports that person and tells them to take their time and prioritize their own health. This isn’t really something hard to do as they're just being decent human beings, but such support among fans is uncommon in a lot of fanbases. By giving each other empathy, offering support, and encouraging open conversations about mental health, Swifties contribute to a broader understanding of emotional well-being within fanbases.

As I write this piece, still in my post-Eras Tour depression, I continue to think about all the lyrics of Taylor Swift and how they have touched the lives of so many people. Through her lyrics, Taylor Swift has sponsored the literacy of her fanbase and inspires them to be raw and creative. The Swifties community has been shaped by Taylor Swift's impactful lyrics and now serves as a vibrant discourse community that encourages emotional expression, feminism, and mental health. Through the shared experience of her lyricism, Swifties finds not only entertainment but also a source of empowerment, understanding, and connection with a broader community that extends beyond The Eras Tour. Taylor Swift's lyrical artistry, combined with the communal spirit of Swifties, has cultivated a space where literacy transcends traditional boundaries and embraces the human experience.  So, just remember, when the crushing weight of the current state of the world and your own anxieties and emotions get you down, just do like Taylor Swift and “Shake It Off”. 

[sternrakestudio]

A Walk in the Park

On 3 October, 1990, Germans celebrated their first Unity Day, when East Germany formally joined West Germany, a year after the fall of the Berlin Wall.

I didn’t join in the celebrations.  Instead, I was sleeping-off jet-lag from my trans-Atlantic flight.  I would spend the next four years in Germany as a member of the US military.  I wish I could say it was a wonderful experience, but I was still married to my toxic ex-wife.  She came over a couple months later, after I secured an apartment about 10 miles east of Stuttgart.

Shortly after her arrival, my unit was activated to deploy for Operation Desert Shield, which turned into Operation Desert Storm in February, 1991.  While most guys were often sad at being far from home, I was strangely content to be away.

Once I returned, I discovered why.  My absence hadn’t detoxed my ex’s personality.  Our European Tour turned out to be a turning point for me.  I realized no matter where we‘d go, or live, even throughout a great assignment like Germany, she’d still remain a toxic b*tch.

One sure way to increase her toxicity level was for her to see me having a pleasant conversation with another woman.  Any woman.  Even with my mom, or my sisters.

She had a special hatred towards blonds.  She was a dour and rude brunette, who grew up with two giggly, girly-girl, blond sisters.  She was always puzzled and angry that her two sisters could always attract a gaggle of guys.  The idea of being pleasant to others never entered her mind.

So whenever we were together, I had to deny the existence of other women, even to the level of absurdity, like in this Passing Encounter story:

One warm and sunny Sunday morning, we were walking through a city park in downtown Stuttgart.  At this time in my life, I was blessed with better than 20/20 vision.  So I saw Danger approaching from a distance away.  This particular hazard came in the form of a beautiful young woman.

She had slicked-back, short, blond hair, that was tied into a tiny ponytail.  The only things she wore was a clingy, white mini dress, matching white, high-heeled shoes, and sunglasses.

And nothing else.

Her dress was so tight, it would have exposed any panty or bra lines.

Oh, she did carry a small, matching white purse.  But that was it.

She was decked-out for a fashion show catwalk, rather than an outdoor park, even with a paved sidewalk.

A guy with a head of unruly dark hair walked beside her.  This was the only detail about him I remember, as trotted along the Woman in White’s right side, attempting to keep up with her long-legged gait.

The Woman in White had the appearance of a Euro-model: Small, pouty lips, slow deliberate walk, and a look of bored disinterest towards everyone and everything around her.  Even Mr. Tag-a-Long.

As the pair drew near, my Toxic Ex, who was standing on my left, finally noticed her.  When they passed us on our left, she snidely remarked:  “I‘d wear a dress like that, if I had a body like that girl’s.”

Me:  “What girl?”

Toxic Ex:  “The girl that just walked passed us!  Don’t tell me you didn’t see her!?”

I turned around to see the couple, safely in the distance, continuing their walk.

Me: “Uh, no.  No I didn’t”

Toxic Ex:  “You’re lying!”  (A daily accusation, but this time, she was right).

Me: “No, I’m not.” (Okay, another lie).

Toxic Ex:  “Then what were you looking at!?”

Fortunately for me, I quickly glanced to the right and spotted a family in the open field; with children chasing each other, teens tossing a frisbee, and adults sitting on a blanket.

Me:  “I was watching this family over here.”  (Lie #3).

Toxic Ex took a quick look and muttered, “Huh.”

For an entire week, my Toxic Ex regularly brought up the Woman in White, during conversations.  She hoped I’d slip-up and admit I saw her.  Fortunately for me, I maintained my self-preserving lies, and the issue finally died away.  In fact, it was the only issue she had with me that did actually disappear entirely, and ironically the only one I openly lied about.

(Note:  The AI character I created is about the most accurate image of my Passing Encounter Memories to date).

[dopedeerkitty]

Unity is the appearance of similarity, oneness, and uniformity. Variety is the opposite. Variety is the use of different elements in a work of art. Balance is an arrangement of parts achieving a state of balance. Emphasis is a method artists use to draw attention to an area. Subordination is a technique in which an artist thinks a part of an artwork is less important, Directional forces are pathways the artists sets in a piece to give the viewer a pathway in which to view the art. Repetition is the reoccurrence of visual elements in an artwork. Rhythm is the reoccurrence of dominant and subordinate elements. I see unity in the military clothing. I see variety in the grocery store, with all the different array of colors, getting a bag of apples. Balance is seen in a room that is open and decorated nicely, not heavy on any one thing. Emphasis is also, seen when a person wants to bring attention to a specific piece in their house, such as a piano, a room is cleared of furniture, decorated sparsely and the piano is the focal point of the room. Subordination is seen when people ignore a part of a job or task that is unimportant. Directional forces are seen when a tour guide directs a group of people to look in a certain direction to view a specific animal. Repetition and rhythm are both seen in a music composition and also in quilling patterns.

2. My personal experience where color has affected me, is when I saw the Marian shrine in St. Augustine. After entering and viewing the statue, I noticed the different hues, and variety of elaborate colors. The radiant blues with the captivating reds and complimentary white flowed together beautifully. This experience was intensified by the brilliant colors and the value of the statue was brought to the forefront with the highest regard.

3. A painting of Tom and Jerry from sketch to completion. Although one can always hone their skills further.

4.

"Good layout design"

The image is an example of "Good layout design." The sign is easy to read and uncluttered. The font used is big with bold white lettering, as well as using all uppercase letters with a red backdrop. This sign is highly visible. The sign has enough contrast that a person will not miss the message, which is easily conveyed, that signals to every car to stop in order to let other cars pass. It clearly fulfills its purpose. 

[thecpdiary]

Tour Wrap-Up

I have been mentally struggling since the beginning of the pandemic, I'm not going to lie. But around a year and a half in, and I found myself struggling more and more mentally, to come to terms with the pandemic, its handling, while sinking more and more into a deep depression.

So, I once again took to writing about the pandemic. Just putting some of the chapter headings together was enough to pick me up, to feel less mentally challenged. The more I wrote, the more I wanted to highlight my struggles with mental health, what I also saw as misgivings and an injustice of how the pandemic was being handled and just how much I was being affected. Three years in and with mental health now at critical levels, none of us have scathed the pandemic well.

The following reviews conclude my tour for Survival: The Covid Years - Time for Change.

escape_into_a_good_book

After reading both of Ilana's previous books I knew I didn't want to miss this one. In this book Ilana shares her physical, mental and emotional challenges through the Covid pandemic. Everyone had their own very personal experience of the pandemic. For someone who really struggled mentally, with overwhelming anxiety throughout the pandemic, I knew reading this book would help me. There were times throughout the book where I found myself really resonating with Ilana's experiences. I had a really bad experience of Covid at the very beginning of the pandemic which then gripped me with extreme fear for my health and the health of my loved ones. Not everyone understood why I was feeling or behaving in certain ways and at times that was something I struggled with because I didn't always feel I could explain my worries and anxieties. Reading this book has helped me validate some of those feelings, the ones that I didn't understand or couldn't explain.

This is such an important book for mental awareness month, this month. It shares positive steps which Ilana took to help her with some of challenges she had to endure. She encourages the reader to explore their own thoughts and feelings of their experience and how it affected them so they can heal from some of the trauma. We know Covid is not going anywhere so everyday we are learning and adapting our lives to live with it, each one of us will be able to do this at a different pace to one another. Just remember to show kindness, patience and consideration for others. This is a must read for anyone needing help, advice or just being able to read about someone else's journey of the pandemic. Know that you are not alone.

Thank you to @literallypr and @ilanaestelle_author for having me on this book tour and for gifting me a copy of this book in return for an honest review.

Rhianydd Morris

This is an amazing book about a memoir of someone life dealing and coping with Covid. It deals with her disability illness and anxiety how she managed. Her shielding experience her mental health her anxiety. About going out wearing mask and dealing with everyday life. I like these types of books I find them interesting read.

Conclusion

If you care about your mental health, you'll want to read this book. It's not just a book for me, it's for everyone. It's a book that will bring understanding in the world's history. It's also a book that can bring you acceptance and unity.

Thank you to @literallypr for the successful book tour.

For more inspirational, book reviews and blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

[college-girl199328]

Scott spoke in Des Moines, Iowa, on Wednesday as part of the national tour, which has sparked speculation about his own presidential ambitions. In his speech, the senator spoke of a "renewing American sunrise," with many pundits describing his tone as more optimistic than that of his fellow Republicans. The Hill, for instance, reported that he laid out an "optimistic vision."

However, not all political experts saw a positive message in his speech. Ed Kilgore, a political analyst for New York magazine, described Scott's speech as "a relentlessly partisan screed accusing Joe Biden and 'the left' of pursuing a 'blueprint for ruining America'" in a Friday article for the magazine's Intelligencer.

"It's difficult to recall a more stridently asserted expression of a belief that the route to national peace and unity requires the subjugation of one party by the other," Kilgore wrote.

Scott, during an appearance on Fox News Sunday, was pressed about the tone of his speech by Bream, who asked how anti-Democratic rhetoric squares "with the message of us having faith in each other as Americans."

In responding to Bream, Scott explained his reasons for being hopeful while doubling down on his attacks against Biden and other Democrats.

Scott defended speaking against Democrats, arguing that conservatives need to understand "the state of America and the weakness of the progressive movement" to offer "positive, optimistic solutions" to the issues the United States faces.

"The left today seems to be working on a blueprint for how to ruin America," the Republican senator said. "If you want to ruin America, you would print and spend trillions of dollars leading to the highest inflation we've seen in 40 years. Why is that negative to point out the fact that under Joe Biden's leadership, we've had the highest inflation in 40 years?"

In the same interview, Bream also questioned Scott about how his policies differ from those of former President Donald Trump. Trump announced his presidential campaign last November and is seen as the frontrunner to snag the Republican nomination, according to recent polls. So far, Trump has received a high-profile challenge from former South Carolina governor Nikki Haley.

"One of the most significant parts of being in the majority was the opportunity we had with the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act [of 2017]," Scott said. "I had the good fortune to be the lead sponsor of the TCJA on the personal side of the tax code, so I had the opportunity to help write that specific legislation."

[yhwhrulz]

Worthy Brief - December 1, 2022

Pete, keep close!

Ephesians 4:3-6 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

A good pastor friend of ours told us that his congregation was experiencing some hardships and division. How often does this happen among us? It breaks my heart -- and I believe the Lord weeps over this too.

Aesop wrote a fable about four bulls who were the best of friends. They always kept close to each other so that in the event that danger came their way, they would face it together. They traveled together, grazed together, and lay down to rest together.

One day, a hungry lion who lived nearby spotted these four friends and became determined to catch one. He was no match for all four of them at once, so he would follow them and watch carefully, hoping to catch one alone. Every time he saw one lagging the least bit behind, he would sneak up and whisper to him that the others had been saying unkind things about him. This, he did with each bull until finally all four began to feel suspicious and uneasy around one another. Each thought that the other three were plotting against him.

When the lion succeeded in breaking the trust among them, the bulls went their separate ways……. and one by one, he devoured them.

I'm sure you can see the analogy here. The enemy would love nothing more than to divide us and break the trust among us in the body of Messiah. He knows full well that if he can just get us separated, he can come in for the kill!

Pete, let's not allow the devil to play out his wicked scheme! Be on guard! Don't gossip -- overlook offenses -- pray with one another and be determined to stick together so that we may accomplish great and mighty things for God's kingdom!

Your family in the Lord with much agape love,

George, Baht Rivka, Obadiah and Elianna (Going to Christian College in Dallas, Texas) Ormond Beach, Florida

Join us on an epic, life changing journey through Israel, - https://worthynews.us12.list-manage.com/track/click?u=b94ae97bb66e693a4850359ec&id=ee7789fa54&e=3b24d74332 through the eyes of those who are well acquainted with the culture, the people and the Land. This is not your average Israel tour— bring your family, bring your friends, and experience the REAL ISRAEL with George and Baht Rivka as your personal hosts.

[chuchayucca]

I KNOW! When I first saw the concept art, it fueled my love for these guys even more! Happy that you now have more content of the Bounty Hunter to keep that love going!

I hid that gold in the tags because I had no idea how to bring it up in the first reblog but since you brought up good points, we can talk about it!!!

YUP

I alway had a feeling that the Bountry Hunters had and still do hold resentment towards the main genres because they minimized their history. For example, (These are only headcanons) K-Pop trolls originally originated from Pop trolls but they're barely mentioned in the Pop trolls history books or how Reggaeton trolls are a mixed of Hiphop and Pop trolls but again, their existence isn’t acknowledged in either trolls history’s. Despite the trolls’s social values being family and unity, the bounty Hunter trolls are excluded from the main genres.

(Again, only a headcanon) Death in the Hinterlands is treated differently than in the main genres because when a troll dies, it means their music is closer to extinction. There is a somber acknowledgement that everyone’s music in the Hinterland will eventually go extinct one day and because they only have each other, there’s a graveyard memorial. The graveyard is dedicated to dead trolls of forgotten music. Every troll there has a gravestone, their instruments/whatever ironic objects from their music, and little facts written about them and their music. Once a year, the Hinter trolls celebrate the memories of these dead trolls so their legacy can never be lost.

Oooooo thissssss too! I know Dreamworks had to keep the movie’s tone light because it’s a kids movie but I can easily imagine an alternative movie cut with darker tones.

In this video, you can tell there was a much more serious tone overall. The fight between Rock and Classical trolls, Cowboy Hickory being hostile where Branch was ready to stab him, Dickory’s dialogue in the deleted diner scene and the diner scene showing these bounty Hunter trolls are so forgotten that Barb promising them to be an opening act on her World tour makes them happy despite probably knowing she plans to get rid of all music expect for rock. The friend and I think the original idea for World Tour was supposed to be a critique on Pop music and it’s negative impact on music but they scrapped it because how serious it was and they probably didn’t know what to do for the original bounty hunter trolls’ happy ending.

I bring this up because I can imagine duringthe K-pop and Reggaeton trolls hunt for Branch, they got into a fight on which music deserves to stay and it got personal involving mentions of family members. There probably have been other Hinter trolls who left the Hinterlands and their friends because they wanted to try negotiating with one of the main genre to make their music semi-popular again. Or some Hinter trolls who just never returned once they’re were old enough to travel because they don’t want to reminded of the mortality of their music.

We have barely scratch the surface of these trolls and the Hinterlands, but there is so much potential for angst with these ideas.

I’m happy you liked my headcanons! If you have/want to, do you have any headcanons for the Bounty Hunter trolls? (Also I didn’t mentioned this but the Jazz trolls headcanon was created by @reblogforlifeman. She has a bunch of them)

Sooooo I haven't moved on from the trolls world tour bounty hunters.

The reggaeton trolls and their really cool designs and music....

Hickory and Dickory's entire thing with playing the long haul in trying to get close to poppy to steal her string.......

THE KPOP TROLLS AND THEIR MISSED POTENTIAL AND AND THEIR DESIGNS AND THEY'RE REALLY CUTE AND LOVELY

And CHAZ THE FUCKING SMOOTH JAZZ TROLL!??!??!??!?! need I say more. I mean just look at him.

I am going to start. A fandom. Surrounding these guys. Just watch me.

They are so silly and I love them

[kittehkwrites]

Streets

“No Final Fantasy can we end these games though? ” - Doja Cat, ‘Streets’ (2019)

Summary: Trevante finally decides to say something, revealing to you how he feels and it leads to something the both of you only thought could happen in your dreams.

Warnings: Fluff, angst?, smut

Can be read as a stand alone, or as a continuation to Like I Want You

No backing down now. He thought. 

I've been goin' through some things 

I struggle with my inner man 

“I have something that  I have to get off my chest.” He said. 

There was no hint of playfulness laced in his voice like usual. 

No this was serious and it made you shiver.

Trevante couldn’t help but still get nervous around you and it took everything in him to not kiss you again.

The feeling of your soft lips gently caressing his back in shock but with such fluid motion and the current running between you both was something you wouldn’t mind feeling again. 

Baby, we tried to fight it

We all been there some days

“ I like you. Ok? I’ve liked you since we started hanging out more and i got to know you more but

Thought I needed something else

And acted like I was okay

“But I always thought you weren’t interested in me like that cause you’d always call be your friend and yea there may have been a few times of playful flirtin but I figured that just how it’d be with us and i didnt want to say anything when you would talk to me about those assholes you’d go one dates with and clearly didn’t know how to treat you”

We just had to work it out

“If I knew this was how you’ve felt, or what you thought we could’ve saved us so much time and mindless pinding over the wrong people...”

You thought of all the times you went on those dead-end dates with guys that couldn’t hold a conversation to save their life or the ones that talked so much that it irritated you to no end and how you’d go to Tre and he’d be there. Waiting on you with open arms, hanging onto your every word and giving you advice.

That’s why you thought he didn’t feel the same. What man would be so selfless? 

You wanted to leave and try to move on in hopes of protecting yourself when really you were causing more problems and you could’ve potentially caused him to lose interest..

And baby, I needed space

“I’m sorry for trying to basically avoid you at every cha-” 

“It’s alright. I guess you wanted to protect yourself from disappoint like you’d normally be on the receiving end of, but i'm not them and I can definitely say that without a doubt, you’d be my queen and not second fiddle against the juvenile excuses some of those dicks told you back then.” He was right. He’d always treat you so nicely and you misread it as friendly behaviour when for him he didn’t want to run. He wanted to stay out of fear that someone would take you away or treat you in a way you didn’t deserve.

There was a bit of silence between the two of you.

You're pouring your heart out

“we are idiots aren't we?” You both laughed, breaking the silence and it made you both feel lighter knowing you’ve spoke your peace and to have the next person feel the same made you want to float above the clouds even more than you were now. 

“I guess we are, but it makes it interesting.” He said, softly in your direction.

His smile was gracing his face and it made you melt to know that he felt the same and to know that he was there even when you tried to leave, made you feel so dumb to keeping your mouth closed about how you felt and you were sure your friends knew but wanted to leave you both to doing what you were doing incase they were wrong. 

You held me so down

All those nights you’d go to him about those aint shit niggas that wasted your time...

So down I never grew

You didn’t see that as a sign of his attraction. Just as a sign of his friendly nature and you blamed it on your lack of healthy relationships before meeting this great man that you knew no one could compare to.

Yon knew that no one else could hold you down like he did.

I tried to find out

All those guys were nothing. 

They meant nothing like the man sitting next you did in your whole time of having feelings for him but you wanted to make sure that it wasn’t you that was self-sabotaging these short term talking stages or relationships, if you can even call them that.

When none of them came through

But it wasn’t you. You thought, as you looked at his structured face, glancing over every little feature from his eyebrows to the hairs in his beard. They just weren’t him and you knew that now. 

now I'm stuck in the middle

And baby had to pull me out Like you

That night brought on an onslaught of feelings and emotions but you both remained outside until your friends called it a night and he sobered up to drop you back to your place.

The ride was comfortably silent with fluttering glances and the soft music playing through the speakers made you feel safe and right about the future of this “friendship” between you two.

Like you

Over the next few days, you both facetimed, called, texted whatever way you could keep communication open, you both did it and it was like old times again, except you both knew the others feelings and it changed from “friendly” to him essentially courting you in a way you both hadn’t put an exact label on but you both knew it was exclusive and no one could break that apart.

After a few dates and some more group hangout, you both managed to agree on having a “sleepover”, but this time it wouldn’t be like normal ; no friends or interruptions, just the two of you and it made you nervous but excited for the days to hurry past.

The days indeed were passing quickly and you made sure to pack an extra set of clothes and some nice undergarments incase you got the chance to change into it, or you’d have another opportunity to wear it for him and you knew he’d appreciate it with the way he always compliments you and your body when given the chance and it made you even more sure that he was the one that was it for you as he didn’t comment on the weight but when you wouldn’t be noticeably be eating a lot around him because you were worried about your college work and submissions he’d subtly give you food during the shared study sessions you’d have with him and your other friends. Similarly, you’d make sure he was eating when he had finals or a sports event.

You guys felt that bonding and caring was leading towards the formation of something beautiful and stable.

When the day finally came, you told him you'd forget to mention the offsite visit you’d be taking to see an exhibit on african american and afro-caribbean art being held for the month

He was happy that you were happy. 

The way you were gushing about the work you’d see and how the artists all incorporated the ideas of the diaspora, feeling lost but building some form of unity in their situations brought chills to you and the other students that accompanied the tour. 

He loved seeing your pictures that you sent when you got there and when you got the chance, you’d take pictures with the artists and creators.

He knew you’d forget to text him when you reached back to the campus or if he’d need to come get you, to which you’d appreciate seeing as the others seemed to want to stay longer than you had hoped and others had already gone and you didn’t feel like getting in other people’s cars that you werent too close with. 

Could you come for me in the next hour?

You asked and saw the three dots before his text came through.

Send your location.

That was his text to you and you weren’t about to lie and say you didn’t feel the little “flutters” as you pictured him laid up and thinking about you like you were him.

Location sent.

This is it. You thought. 

No holding back. You convinced yourself, mentally as you continued moving around the exhibit to look at the other pieces you didn’t get the chance to yet when you guys were allowed to take a break as they were opening up some of the other areas for public viewing now

Closed mouths don’t get fed and you were hungry you argued as you saw his latest text that he was on his way, wondering where the time went but anticipating the activities you’d both get into.

You began to look around a few more times before making your way to the front of the building after saying your ‘bye’s, nice to meet you’s and see you later’s.

Leisurely walking to the front you stayed in the cool conditioned air of the building, awaiting the man that managed to continuously surprise you with his bold, straightforward nature.

Glad I brought my bag and waxed the other day so no worries about any fuzz being down there, if things went as you’d hope, you thought before opening the glass door seeing the next he was around the corner and then seeing him pull up to the front.

He pulled up to the front of the building as you made your way outside of the facility.

You watched as he got out of the 1973 Chevrolet Impala you would often watch him work on,

or he’d offer to take you in to go on those long drives that would make you think things once you saw him drive with one hand and his seat back.

Like you said, it made you think things.

He came over to you and walked you back in silence.

Damn papa, you a rare breed, no comparing

The cool air brushing over his exposed arms.

The wind carrying his scent that hit you as you slightly trailed behind him, before coming up to the car door and opening it for you while taking your bag and placing it in the back.

And it’s motherfuckin’ scary

He shut both doors and made his way round to the drivers side, getting in and buckling up himself before stealing a quick glance at you as you did the same.

“Ready.” The click of your seatbelt heard before your voice altered him.

He looked over at you, one hand on the gear stick, and the other on the wheel before racking his dark pupils over your shy-seated form. You saw as he but his plush bottom lip before his lips formed a smirk that made your thighs clench.

She better be ready. He thought as he knew that this shy act you had going on was only turning him on more and he wanted to hear that sweet voice of yours yell his name like he dreamed.

Y’all made it back to his and you were met with the warmness and enticing scents coming from within his space. 

“I made your favourite.” He watched you walk in slowly, eyeing you again before waking in the light trail of your perfume and body lotion that left you smelling like candy and he wanted to have his dessert now. 

You were so consumed with what he said and what he’d done that you hadn’t responded. He turned and looked to you as he made his way ahead when you stood frozen at what he had done for you when you thought no one would ever do such a thing. 

Tryna keep him 'cause I found him

“Princess?” There goes that nickname that had you shivering slightly and gave him a chance to openly gaze into your beautiful eyes with a look of confusion at your silence in regards to food.

“Huh? Oh! No! that’s great. I was starving.” You expressed and progressed to his smaller dining room, still shocked at the set up of your favourite laid out and you knew it wasn’t order either because you’ve watched this man cook and always taste tested so you knew you weren’t about to be dissapointed.

“I told you to stop starving yourself. You need me to start bringing you lunches again?” He cared. The fact that this fine, tall, dark and handsome man was willing to come to you and bring you lunch still was getting you all warm, along with the delicious food that was hitting the spot.

This man is bout to get it, you thought before sitting and enjoying the food he prepared.

Both sitting under the dimmed lights and intimate atmosphere he managed to create with what he had, intensified your emotions and the glasses of wine you had with dinner got you to loosen up. 

He didn’t want to force conversation. He was ok with just being in your presence and for that, you knew he was the one and you’d do anything to keep him happy and ‘Let a ho know I ain't motherfuckin' sharing’ (or whatever it is Doja Cat said.) You’d thought as he ushered you to his couch after collecting the plates and placing them in the sink before returning to you.

He saw you and couldn’t help but think about you being his. Like actually his.

I could take you to the parents, then to Paris

Plan a motherfuckin' wedding

Tonight i’m gonna make her mine and there’s no doubt about it. 

He sat so close and for a second, you felt those shocks you felt the night he first kissed you when your legs touched.

You couldn't help but look at him and see the burning desire he had in his eyes. It was the same for him, seeing your deep pools looking at him with adoration and contemptment that he wanted to fall to his knees and beg for your love, even though he could guess you loved him the way he did you. 

You the type I wanna marry (Yeah) and keep you merry

I'll put the ring on when you ready

There was a split second.

Then clothes began to drop around your retreating forms, leading to his room.

The kisses were hard and passion filled. Hands grasping body parts.

Hot skin against hot skin. 

The soft glow of the candle he’d lit in his room providing him with enough light to tell that you were ok with this but he still had to make sure 

“You sure about this babygirl? Cause once we start...I don’t know if i’ll be able to stop.” He voice dropped many octaves and resonated deep in your soul to the point of setting off a gush between your legs that had you mindlessly nodding your head at the man.

“Words Princess.” He gripped your chin and kept that intense eye contact.

“Yes sir.” The name set off something in him and he had you flung across his mattress, head between your legs and hands gripping your thighs while he kept his eyes on your face contorting in pleasure. 

We play our fantasies out in real life ways and

No Final Fantasy, can we end these games though?

He made you cum with a powerful orgasm but you knew he could do better and he knew that he was just warming you up for one of the best nights of your life...besides marrying him and having kids together. 

THAT’S how sure of himself he was that he’d ruin you for anyone else.

Could you blame him tho? He finally has you how he’s been dreaming about and he isn’t gonna hold back in let you know how much you mean to him. He’s gonna make sure you feel his love for you like he’s been saying.

You give me energy, make me feel lightweight (Woo)

He saw you come down enough to get on your knees, staring into his face like he was yours. 

You saw your essence glistening in his facial hair, the moonlight that made its way in and added to the soft glow of the candle made him look like a beautiful shade of blue and near obsidian black. 

Your hands making their way up his sculpted arms, joining at the chest and making their way down his sculpted torso, leading to his happy trail and the prominent tent in his jeans that you couldn’t help but rub your palm against.

“No teasing, Princess.” His voice snapped you out of your day dream of the erect member laying between his thick thighs, encased by the light washed jeans. 

You looked up at him through innocent eyes and you swear you saw his pupils dilate even more, overtaken by lust as he brought his hand up your stomach, corse palms over your delicate skin and thick fingers wrapping around your neck for a tight squeeze before he gently pushed you back onto the bed once he saw you close those pretty eyes and bit your lip at the action. 

Like the birds of a feather, baby

He pulled you closer to the edge of the bed before he started to remove his denim bottoms. Eyes never leaving yours as he pushed his jeans down his muscular legs, taking his boxers off at the same time before standing at attention once kicking them off.

You couldn’t help but look down at the one-eyed monster between his legs and he took notice at the way you looked at him.

He gripped the base of it before calmly saying “Don’t worry baby. You’re a big girl and I know you can take it.” His hand pumping slowly at the look in your eyes and the wetness between your legs. 

He grabbed a condom from the nightstand, rolling it over his tip causing you to let out a whine at not being able to feel his girth in your mouth.

“Don’t worry Princess, you can have a taste later. Right not i want to feel that sweet pussy gripping this fat dick, that alright?” He said a soft voice but it was gruff that it had you getting slick even more at the dominance he had in that moment and the way he put receiving on the backburner. 

You just nodded you head and he got close to you to rub his tip between your folds, lubricating the condom with what you supplied. It was a sight for him that he had to think of anything besides busting in the condom then and there.

We real life made for each other

He made you look at him before pushing into your wet valley. He took his time as you relaxed and felt every hot inch insert itself so deliciously slow.

And it's hard to keep my cool

You weren’t going to lie and say you didn’t like the gentle strokes he was giving to let you adjust, however you knew he wanted to go faster and harder if he was as sexually frustrated as you were from subpar partners.

Cause you’re a one in a million 

There ain't no man like you

It was like he was reading your mind. 

After he noticed you moving your bottom half off the bed to meet his strokes, he grabbed your legs, placing them over your shoulder, not missing a beat and going deeper into your depths.

“Oh shit tre!” He had to let out a breathy chuckle before he felt you grip his dick with your tight walls. That caused his body to jerk even deeper before he could process it and had him releasing a deep grunt you don’t think you’ve ever heard from him before.

“Shit Princess. Got this tight pussy grippin me like this? Who said you could do that?” He was gonna make sure you knew who was incharge in the bed room but you had a surprise for him when you were able to catch him off with the slip of a whispered ‘daddy!’ that made his hips stutter and him lose focus.

You were able to get him on his back, his large member not slipping from your clenching muscles and managed to start grinding on the massive amount of muscle lying beneath you.

“I did. Nigga” You went in after that.

Trevante watched in awe at the way you were taking him, knowing this position meant you’d definitely feel him in your gut if you sat completely over his pulsing, thick pole.

You planted your feet on either side of his hips, hands moving through the wisps of hair sprayed across his chest and switched the pace of your movements.

Up. Down and grind then up again.

He wasn’t going to lie and say that you were riding him like the perfect woman, like he’d always imagine after hearing about the way a woman could trap a man with good sex, he finally believed it with you over him.

That intense i contact was adding to the pleasure for you both and he couldn’t help himself. He brought his hand down on your ass quick and hard before gripping the round flesh in his hands and picking you up to lay back on the bed again before he started to pound into you faster once he saw your eyes rolling back and felt your pussy clenching him even harder.

“You gonna cum on this dick babygirl? Huh?! Answer me and take it like a big girl!”

all you could do was nod your head and repeatedly chant “Yes Yes Yes Yes” even after he finished speaking to you.

You layed under him a blubbering mess but wanting to prove to him you weren’t a punk.

“Cum on this dick Princess. I want to feel that pretty pussy cum all over this -fUCK! THAT’S RIGHT!-yea cum on this dick! Make it yours bitch!”

That word did something for you.

“I’M CUMMING.”

“Then cum bitch.” He whispered into your ear and it ignited the spasms and feeling of pure bliss of release.

He watched you convulse under him and he felt his sack tighten at the way your face looked that he couldn’t take his eyes off yours even for a second.

“Look at me bitch! I said look at me!” He gripped your cheeks between his large hand and got you to face him, seeing your dazed state and then he recognized you were going to cum again.

“You gonna cum again? You like this? Huh?” He waited and raised his leg onto the bed, bending it and forcing your legs to go wider by taking them from around his hips.

He had you so confused in this position. 

You didn’t know if you wanted to run or stay there but you knew it had you cumming closer. Then you felt a smack to the face.

“I asked you a question! Answer me!” His loud voice, deep and all baritone like bounced off the walls at his command.

“Yeees I’M CUMMING!” You responded, equally loud you were sure the neighbours would hear but they should mind the business that pays them you thought.

You were getting the pounding of your life and didn’t want to have to stop because of nosey people calling security to check on the unit.

If they didn’t know what was going on, then that’s tough. But you were gonna make sure you got railed well tonight.

He didn’t know what came over him but he had to say it

“You love this dick baby? You love how I feel inside you?” His voice was still deep but that roughness made you tingle and he felt the flutter of your walls over him

“Yes!” You squeaked out.

“FUCK! I feel that pussy gripping me even tighter!”

He looked at you and you managed to pry your eyes open and stare into his as he said what he felt was right in that moment.

“You wanna be my girl? Huh?” His eyes still held list in them, but there was a softness as he slowed down to ask this, coming closer to you to pepper kisses over your face and embrace you.

“Yes!” You loved the way he felt but you wanted him to go harder so when you pleaded “Harder Tre! Please? I need you to go harder” He fixed his position and granted you your wish by pounding into you harder and faster, his gentle thrusts out the window and your ecstasy written all over your face.

You tried pushing his hips away but he smacked your hands away, grabbing both wrists and coming to you closer and to your ear.

“You gonna cum when I tell you to? You gonna be a good girl for me?” He watched you in pleasure of maintaining his composure and not cumming the first minute he sunk into your velvety pussy that he couldn’t even manage would feel so heavenly as it does now.

“Yes” You sounded so pathetic and it turned you on more than you thought possible at being so dominated but the big heap of dark, thick hefty muscle plowing into you made you feel safe even with his belittling of you but you knew it was only for the sex. 

“Yeah? My girl huh? You’re so pretty under me.” He whined. It was so beautiful to hear so loud into your ear in the close position he was in. 

This close proximity made you feel so connected and had you tearing up a little at the fact you knew he was still being gentle with you and it brought you closer.

Trevante looked down at you and saw the cloudy look in your eyes. He knew you were cumming again and he was right there with you so he let you go and pushed one of his hands between your sweaty bodies, finding your clit and stimulating you double time to climax together.

He saw your eyes rolling back when he felt that tightness in his sack before he shouted out to you,

“CUM! CUM ON THIS DICK!” He roared out to you.

It was a rush you hadn’t been prepared for as he managed to get faster but his rhythm started to become irregular. He still managed to hit that deep spot in you that had you going crazy when his tip would rub over it and all that could be heard was you both climaxing then heavy breathing.

He continued to grind into you slowly, careful that it may hurt you but he wanted to ride out the best orgasm he’s had in awhile, and knowing that it was with you made him want to keep his dick deep in you.

If it wasn’t for the condom, he’s sure he would’ve gotten you pregnant and totally stepped up to the plate to take care of you and his seed.

Like you

He couldn’t believe that you were here, in this moment with him and he had to make sure you know that you were all he could ever want and more.

He raised up and you whimpered at the loss of warmth he provided and the way his body calmed you down after such a session.

“None of that.” He said, leaning back down to place a gentle kiss to you lips “I’ll be back Princess” and then slowly pulling out of you to tie the condom and through it away. 

You couldn't help but watch his retreating form go into the bathroom and come back with a damp rag to wipe you up and then leave the room to get you some water and lay back in the bed with you next to him. 

You both stared at eachother once he got back in the bed and you managed to fix yourself in a comfortable position, not caring about the sweat or the way you may look like a mad woman.

Instead, you brought your hand up to his cheek and watched as he closed his eyes before puckering his lips, leaning to you for a kiss that you happily gave him and he pulled you to lay on his chest.

He thought you had fallen asleep as you hadn’t moved in a while and knew he had to catch some sleep to if he wanted to get up early and make you something for breakfast. 

He planted a soft kiss onto your forehead, gripping you tighter and released a content sigh.

I found it hard to find someone like you

He wasn’t going to let you go and for a moment he thought he heard you say something but he passed it off as fatigue from the intense session the both of you just carried out after months of sexual frustration and tension. 

Trevante didn’t know that you were still awake and said that you loved him 

I can't be without you

You knew you weren’t gonna run anymore and he was it. Your one in a milllion and you would do everything to keep him, like he would you.

He held you tighter before finally closing his eyes, a small smile on his face.

And I can't be without you

He hadn’t heard you say you loved him...

but that’s neither here nor there.

You’d be alright with saying it again when you both were awake and not high off sexual energy.

Like you.

Taglist:

@killmonger-fics

@browngirldominion

(Dm to be added to the permanent taglist or let me know which actors/characters you’d want me to tag you in when I write)

——————————————————————————

Hey y’all! 

Sorry this took so long🥴 Been busy with uni and some other personal stuff so I put this off longer than intended🥴

But what’d you think, hope this met the standards and was worth it? 

Don’t forget to like, reblog and/or comment 😊

Hope you’re staying safe, checking in on your friends and loved ones and taking time for yourself :)))

Love you all and thanks for the support.

-K💜

[alj4890]

I got an ask we know Riley gets kidnapped by Anton but what if Anton was in love with her and he didn’t wanna kill her but makes her his. What if Olivia killed Claudus for shooting drake.

I love the way you think, Nonny! I actually would have eaten this up with a spoon if that had happened in canon. To be honest, I really liked Justin in book 2. If he had been a new love interest, I would have done a play through just to see what happens if Riley chose him 🤦🏻 Of course then we find out he is behind all the bombings and such so...oops, LOL. When I first saw your request, I made an aesthetic with just Justin/Anton and Riley in mind. I completely forgot to add a definite OTP of mine, Drake and Olivia, to it. Smh. The story though will definitely include them along with Riley and Justin. I am so tempted to turn this into a series 🙊

@gkittylove99 @krsnlove @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @yourmajesty09 @mom2000aggie @ofpixelsandscribbles @twinkleallnight @lodberg  @amandablink @neotericthemis  @mm2305 @sfb123 @iufilms

Masterlist

True Intentions

It had happened when he had not been paying attention. It shouldn't have happened at all. He had one goal. One mission. Nothing had ever come to mean more to him than that. Nothing. No one.

Until Riley.

He knew he shouldn't have spent so much time with her. He shouldn't have helped Maxwell in picking the right dresses for her. He shouldn't have stuck around to see her come out of dressing rooms, an excited smile upon her face, as she twirled around for them to give their opinions.

It had taken all his will power to keep from telling her what he truly thought. Riley's beauty was simply stunning, not because of her outer loveliness, but more that he saw her inner beauty shining through each trial she faced. Her strength amazed him. Her wit brought a smile to his face. Her kindness touched his heart.

It made him begin to long for things he shouldn't. They shouldn't be a part of any dream or plan he had.

And yet...she was beginning to crop up in his thoughts. In his dreams.

In his plans.

He winced as he tried to get comfortable.

His plans hadn't exactly gone as he had hoped. In fact, he should have talked to his men and explained that Riley was not to be a target.

Thank God for Drake. If he hadn't jumped in front of her, she would have been taken from me.

His lips twisted in another painful grimace.

"Are you in pain?"

Justin looked up and tried to smile. "Just a little."

His nurse shook her head. "I told you to buzz before it got too bad." She gently checked his wound.

"I don't want to be a bother." He mumbled.

"You aren't." She patted his hand. "You aren't any trouble at all." Her nose wrinkled. "We had a few nobles cause unnecessary problems when the attack happened."

"Really?"

She rolled her eyes. "Some were knocked down during the chaos and demanded they be admitted."

He chuckled softly. "Sounds like something they would do."

"It's a shame that good people like you were seriously hurt while those spoiled nobles try and take all the attention." She readjusted his covers after administering some more pain medication in his IV. "I don't know why King Liam is so hellbent on bringing them back to court."

"What do you mean?" Justin tried to fight the effects of the pain medicine. "What's he doing?"

"He and Lady Riley are going on some type of tour to some of the major houses to personally invite them to their wedding."

His brow furrowed.

A unity tour. That would work on these small minded individuals. It was a smart move. The public were already Team Riam. Once the royal couple convinced the most powerful houses to come to their wedding, all the other minor lords and ladies would follow suit.

"Well played, Liam." Justin's eyes drooped closed. "Well played."

**************

He couldn't believe that they not only convinced Madeleine's entire family, but also somehow got all of Portavira on their side.

"What's the plan?" Claudius asked.

"We need something big to remind everyone that we aren't a one trick pony." Justin told him.

He looked out the window. Leaves were beginning to change with the first hints of autumn in the air.

A hint of a smile appeared as a plan began to form.

"It would be a shame if Cordonia's apple orchard had a bad year, wouldn't it?" He eyed his second in command.

Claudius chuckled. "It really would."

******************

Justin watched as every channel showed the devastation of the orchard near Applewood. He couldn't help but smile over Riley making the people love her even more for her righteous anger. Her promises to bring those responsible to justice along with making the orchard bigger than before made him nearly burst with pride.

She had grown into her role more so than he had ever imagined. Gone was the timid young waitress from New York who uttered no comment when reporters surrounded her. She was a confident woman now who could think on her feet.

Justin thought she was more attractive than the first time he had seen her floundering in front of the cameras, in desperate need of a hero. It hadn't been a bother to rush to her side then and put his arm around her. Her wide eyes had lifted to his and he had nearly melted from her beauty.

He still couldn't believe that she forgave Liam for choosing another over her. Granted Madeleine impressed him with how she could manipulate reporters into spinning a story to her advantage, but Riley was so many things that the cold countess was not. She deserved better than what she got.

And he planned on giving it to her.

*****************

A week after the orchard burning, he turned to see the one rarely far from his thoughts.

"Justin!" Riley rushed over to engulf him in a hug.

"How's my favorite media darling?" He asked.

She leaned back and gave him that smile that was brighter than flash bulbs. "Much better now that I know you're recovering." She playfully glanced about before whispering, "Save me from Madeleine!"

He laughed as he hugged her once more. "I don't know. I've seen her work and can't find fault with it."

Riley pouted. She linked her arm with his as they walked down the hospital hallway. "I prefer your guidance to hers." Her nose wrinkled. "It's weird being told how to act by Liam's former fiancée. I know there wasn't anything between them, but still."

Justin patted her hand. "Tell you what. If Madeleine is unable to do her job or you decide to fire her, then I will gladly step back into my old position." He dug around in his pocket for the earpiece she had used during Liam's engagement tour.

Her smile reappeared. "Old faithful."

"I'm always Just-in-time." He teased.

*****************

It had been too close. He hadn't expected Riley to go anywhere near Constantine. And there she was, by Liam's side, graciously accepting some necklace from the old man who had destroyed her initial happily ever after.

His heart had nearly stopped as he watched rubble fall around them. Riley had frozen in fear over Liam's safety. It was a nightmare come to life as pieces of the wall and ceiling began to collapse.

At least one good thing had come from this: one king was dead.

It sadly wasn't the king he needed to die.

Justin began to plan how he would comfort Riley once Liam was gone. He wouldn't have to tell her it was he, himself, who orchestrated his death. But he would make certain to enjoy the benefits of it.

His eyes narrowed over another slight problem he had.

He was going to have to kill his own wife too.

******************

Lythikos...

It had been almost too easy. Madeleine was already in need of a distraction after hearing Liam gush over how excited he was to marry Riley in a few weeks. Once she requested a fruity cocktail, he knew then that the poison could go undetected taste wise.

The bartender left to go replenish the champagne. Madeleine's irritation over having to wait on a refill was drawing attention.

"Here." He grinned at her. "Allow me to make you another."

Her eyes widened. "Aren't you that press secretary that helped Riley?"

"I am." He began to mix a strong cocktail for her while adding the poison, all right under her nose. "And I must say you are the best I've ever seen."

Madeleine's irritation disappeared over the compliment. "I am, aren't I?"

"Riley's lucky to have someone so knowledgeable in ways of both the court and public like you." He added.

"Yes, she is." Madeleine muttered. "I'll do anything for my country, even if it is a thankless job."

"You should be recognized for your sacrifice." Justin handed her the deadly drink.

"Yes, I should." She took a gulp.

"How is it?" He asked.

"It's the only good thing here." A tipsy grin appeared on her face when she saw Riley. She grasped Justin's hand and pulled him in her wake. "Let's go say, hi."

"Boooooo!" Madeleine giggled when Riley turned around. "It's the ghosts of press secretary past and present."

"The what now?" Riley lips trembled with suppressed laughter as she looked up at Justin for clarification.

"I'm the ghost of press secretary past." He winked at her.

"OoooOooo!" Madeleine swayed where she stood.

"Whoa, there." Riley tried to steady her. "You okay?"

"She's had a little too much." Justin mimed drinking.

"It's a party!" Madeleine slurred. "It's in the worst place ever but it's a party and I'm going to...going to..."

"Enjoy it?" Riley offered.

"Extractly!" Madeleine's brow wrinkled over that not being the right word. "Expactly?"

"Exactly." Justin corrected.

"That."

The crowd quieted around them when Olivia took the stage to offer a final toast of the evening to Liam and Riley's wedding.

"Woo!" Madeleine cheered.

Riley and Justin tried to shush her.

Her giddy smile fell as her rosy cheeks drained of color. "Somefing's not..."

"Madeleine?" Riley lost her grip on her when she swayed violently to the right. "What's--"

Madeleine hit a table, causing the plates to clatter and the vase of blood red roses to fall over.

"I hate this place." She collapsed on the floor.

"Madeleine!" Riley dropped to her knees and tried to bring her to. "Liam! Mara! Come quick!"

Justin stepped back as the two came to see what was wrong. He watched as Olivia made her way through the crowd to find out what the all the fuss was about.

"What's wrong with her?" Riley asked.

"She's been poisoned." Mara whispered.

*******************

Justin loved seeing the delighted surprise once more on Riley's face when he said he would take over Madeleine's duties for the rest of the tour. It would have been a perfect moment if Liam had not been standing there. He was ashamed to think of his nearly giving himself away when he panicked at the sight of Olivia walking in behind him.

He wished Lucretia would quit trying to push Olivia into going into the family vault. She had a sick sense of humor in wanting her niece to discover she was already married. For some reason, she did not approve of the way her niece depended on her friends for support.

Justin knew the power friends could have. Had he not been trained by his own parents' friends, he wouldn't be the worthy man next in line to the throne. His comradery with his own men inspired their loyalty and willingness to die to make him king.

He needed to distance himself from Lucretia the moment they got out of Lythikos.

****************

She was supposed to come alone! Why did she bring Riley? I can't kill her. I need her. I deserve to have a choice in the one I want ruling by my side. The people already adore her, much more so than they admire Olivia. I was supposed to become free of this marriage. Once she and Liam are dead, I'll be able to be king and have--

"Justin?" Riley's eyes were clouded with confusion as she looked first at a picture of him dressed in a royal uniform. "What is this?"

"I'm sorry, Riley." His voice cracked on her name.

Justin reached in his pocket and pulled out a revolver.

Lucretia cackled with glee as she told her niece the truth about her marriage.

Justin stood there silently as the woman he loved shook her head in denial.

She's so incredibly sweet to doubt a friend could be the bad guy. I hate that I can't pull her away from all this and simply explain why I should be the ruler of Cordonia. I deserve it. I worked for it. My entire life was made for me to take the crown. She would be able to understand that. Look how far she's come in her own life. Who could imagine a waitress from some dive bar in America would come to be the next queen of a small European nation?

"Do it already!" Lucretia hissed. "Shoot her!"

He couldn't do it. Even as he held the gun steady, pointed directly at the woman he loved's heart, he couldn't shoot Riley.

"Get away from her!" Liam ordered.

Justin spun around to see the king and guards filling up the narrow passageway.

"I thought you said this was secure." Justin snapped at Lucretia.

"It was." She held her hands up in surrender.

Justin watched as she stepped forward, pretending to stumble.

His eyes widened as once again his love was trapped within a collapsing room.

He managed to see her safely end up in Liam's arms before escaping through a hidden passage.

He left Lucretia to the guards. She had served her purpose and was sadly of no use to him any longer. Now he could plan what he truly wanted to happen.

*******************

Liam and Riley's wedding day...

"I don't care who you kill. Olivia and Riley are to be taken alive." Justin told the small team of men he was sending in. "If you have to wound them to get them here, make certain Riley's is non life threatening.

He ignored the questioning look Claudius sent his way.

"Bring them both to our stronghold." His eyes narrowed. "Do not fail me."

****************

Later that night...

"Good work." Justin straightened his jacket. He wanted to look his best when he saw Riley again.

Claudius smirked at him. "Just think of all the men we would still have if you had let me go alone."

Justin chuckled. "True, but at least we are free of our weakest links." He smoothed his hair back. "Now take me to our guests."

***************

"I know the real Justin is somewhere in there." Riley leaned as far forward as her bindings allowed. "You helped me gain the love of the people. You know that if you kill me, the people will not readily accept you as king."

He couldn't help but smile. "I know and that is why I don't intend to hurt you."

"Then why kidnap us?" Olivia demanded.

He turned toward her. "If I'm to be king, then I have to take the necessary steps to claim the throne." He motioned for Claudius to come in.

"You're the one who shot Drake!" Olivia shouted, struggling against the ropes biting into her tender skin. "You'll regret that."

"And you tried to kill me!" Riley added, narrowing her eyes.

"That was a mistake." Justin quickly said. "You were never to be harmed."

"Then why all the attempts?" She asked. "Why do you persist in--"

"You weren't supposed to be here, Riley." He knelt down in front of her. "You should have stayed in New York until the time was right"

Her eyebrows drew together. "What are you talking about.

Justin asked Claudius to remain with Olivia while he took Riley somewhere private.

"If you think for one second that I will remain with this man while you take her away go do only God knows what," Olivia's chair creaked at her straining to break free, "then you don't know what a Nevarkis is truly made of!"

Justine rolled his eyes over her rant as he untied Riley from her chair. He kept her ankles and wrists bound together. He swept her into his arms and carried her out.

Olivia's shouts were silenced by the sound of a hard slap.

Riley struggled in Justin's arms. "What did he do to her? OLIVIA?!" Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Justin, please don't--"

"Nothing's happened to her." He took her into a surprisingly clean, yet drab, sitting room.

Riley was dropped on a chaise lounge. She eyed the door then Justin.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He repeated. He gently cupped her cheek, fingers brushing along her jaw line. "I love you too much to ever harm you."

Riley stilled. She looked up at him. "You what?"

He knelt before her. "I'm in love with you. It didn't hit me until you told me you had accepted Liam's proposal on the train. I didn't plan it, but I refuse to hide my feelings any longer." He smiled at her. "You've proven yourself as the rightful Queen of Cordonia. Once Liam and Olivia are dead, you and I can rule this country as we see fit. We'll--"

Riley shook her head. "Justin," she believed he was deranged and knew she had to handle this carefully, "I'm flattered. Really I am. I mean, we both know I would never have gotten this far without you."

His smile grew at her realizing she owed him for her meteoric rise within the court.

"But if you kill Liam and Olivia, the people will not feel any love or loyalty for you." She tilted her head as she studied him. "Surely you see the problem with this plan."

"People respect power." He explained. "They respect someone who fights for what is rightfully his. Since my birth, I have been meant for something greater. My parents, Olivia's family, even my soldiers realized that I alone am worthy to rule over this country." He focused once more upon her. "And I've seen that you are the one to do so by my side."

Riley shook her head. "Justin, I am honored," her voice cracked on that lie, "to have your love but I can't accept it." Her eyes filled with tears. "I'm in love with Liam."

"Riley, he didn't choose you." Justin argued. "He left you on your own to fight against nobles, the press, even his own father. You deserve so much more than being an afterthought."

Tears slipped down her cheeks once more. "That wasn't what he did. He was trying to protect me. And I--"

He leaned down and kissed her.

She froze at the touch, refusing to participate.

"Once Liam's gone, you will see the truth." Justin promised.

"I won't." Her eyes narrowed. "As long as I live, I'll hate you with everything within me for taking him from me."

"You don't have it in you." He shook his head in amusement. "You've forgiven everyone. Olivia, Penelope, Madeleine, even Constantine. You never hold a grudge."

"You'll be my first." Riley vowed. "Liam is the love of my life. If you ruin my chance to finally be with him, I will never forgive you. As long as there is breath in my body, I will find a way to destroy you."

"You are amazing." He murmured, knowing she was speaking from her heart. He couldn't wait for that devotion to be for himself.

"Anton?"

The two turned to see Claudius in the doorway. "Liam should be here any moment."

Justin nodded and told him he would meet him and the rest of the men downstairs.

He lifted Riley in his arms and placed her back in the cell with Olivia.

His wife had the bruised imprint of Claudius's hand on her alabaster cheek. Blood had dried on her bottom lip. No tears had fallen from the force of the hit. Her left eye was bloodshot as she glared up at him.

"Liv?" Riley choked out. "Are you--"

"I'm fine." Her harsh answer echoed in the chamber. "It will take more than some two bit thug to hurt me." Her eyes did a quick scan to make certain Riley wasn't hurt.

"If you will excuse me, I have to go prepare for Liam's last night on earth." He retied Riley to her chair.

She threw her head back with all her might to connect with his face.

His glasses broke from the force of her strike. Blood poured out his nose as he stumbled away from her.

"Don't ever," his voice dropped to a hiss, "do that again, my love." He gripped her chin and jerked her face up toward his. "You will learn how to behave soon enough."

He slammed the cell door and left them alone.

"Did he hurt you?" Olivia whispered.

"No." Riley bit her bottom lip. "Not yet."

*****************

"Where is my wife?" Liam demanded.

Justin couldn't help but be impressed. The young king was standing before him, completely outnumbered, yet didn't show the slightest flicker of fear.

He asked the one question that he himself would have asked if Riley was taken from him.

"She is well." Justin replied. "Which is something I can't promise about your own well being."

"I want to see her." Liam bit out. "Now!"

Justin's chuckle was interrupted by a hastily whispered message from Claudius. His head jerked around to search the dim hallway as if doing so would reveal the missing prisoners.

How had they escaped?

"You don't get to make demands here." He snapped at Liam.

"Let Riley and Olivia go." Liam ordered. "And I will take their place." His eyes narrowed. "I know it is a temporary one."

Justin couldn't help but smile. The man was indeed brave to trade his life for Riley and Olivia's.

"No!" Riley screamed out from the stairs.

Chaos broke out as she led the charge to attack the Sons of the Earth. Justin watched as she ran over to protect Liam's back.

The couple were doing their utmost to protect the other from harm.

Their friends were taking his well trained soldiers out one by one. It was embarrassing to see how pitiful his men fought.

Olivia moved into his line of sight. Fury blazed across her delicate features.

"I'm impressed." He told her, unsheathing his sword. "I should have searched you myself."

"Trust me." Olivia circled him. "It will be the last mistake you'll ever make!"

She lunged at him. He easily parried her attack. "I think you've forgotten that it was your parents who gave me the same training you had."

"I think you talk too much!" She twirled about, bringing her daggers up to stop his sword from meeting her shoulder. He grunted from her heel piercing his leg as she pushed off to break his hold.

They continued to try and deliver punishing blows to the other. She was desperate to kill the man who was after her friends and country. He was anxious to be free of their marriage.

He noticed from the corner of his eye Claudius and Drake fighting. His second in command stunned the commoner with an uppercut to his jaw, causing Drake to stumble back into a wall.

Olivia heard the scuffle and followed Justin's line of sight. Her face paled at Claudius moving towards Drake to end him once and for all.

With a flick of her wrists she not only slashed Justin but threw her other dagger at Claudius. It struck true along the side of his neck, cutting into his jugular. He let out a garbled scream as he fell to the floor.

Justin hissed at the deep gash she had made along his ribcage.

Seeing that it was a lost battle, he hopped the banister and began to rush upstairs. He would have to go into hiding once more before orchestrating another attack.

"This ends now!" Riley yelled out at him.

He spun around to see both her and Liam rushing toward him. He raised his sword, determined to put an end to the man who stood between him and the throne. He hesitated when Riley jumped in front of her husband.

"You're not taking him from me!" She raised her battle ax. "Every time you try, I will stop you."

Does Liam know how lucky he is? She waited on him to choose her. Twice! And now she stands here, ready to defend him to the death. How could any man not fall in love with Riley?

His refusal to fight her was his downfall. He was pushed over the banister by the royal couple. While his breath was knocked out, Maxwell and Hana bound his hands together behind his back.

He looked about at his fallen and captured comrades. His attention was drawn toward Olivia and Drake. The pair were covered in blood and bruises, yet they were leaning against each other. Drake had his arm around her while softly speaking. Whatever was said caused Olivia to press even closer to his side. Her arms slipped around his waist. Her eyes were closed tight as she allowed him to hold her.

Justin had suspected something more between the pair. It looked like his coup for the throne had accomplished something for them.

Bastien and the rest of the King's Guards rushed in. After talking to the king and new queen, he collected Justin and hauled him outside.

On the way, Justin met Riley's eyes.

There were so many things he wanted to explain to her. He believed she would have been on board with his plans for the kingdom. Once he had killed Liam and Olivia, he would be the benevolent king the country needed. Gone would be the purpose for pompous nobles. He would have established a council of Cordonia's citizens from all walks of life to advise him. People would be rewarded and honored for their service instead of simply being born to the right parents.

And she would have been his queen, guiding and protecting all she deemed worthy.

"Riley, I..."

"You will never ever hurt those I love again." She hissed.

"Take him away." Liam ordered, keeping his arms locked around his wife. "He will be dealt with in the morning."

Justin knew then that it was pointless to try and explain. She would never give him a chance after all that had occurred.

For the first time in his life, he realized that his intentions didn't matter to the one he loved most.

[howdon-aldi-death-queue]

NEW SAM FENDER INTERVIEW FOR NME

THE BIG READ

Sam Fender: “This album is probably the best thing I’ve done in my life”

The hometown hero has distanced himself from the ‘Geordie Springsteen’ tag, but there’s no shortage of rites-of-passage yarns and colossal tunes on the upcoming ‘Seventeen Going Under’

“You can see the ghost of Thatcherism over there…” says Sam Fender, pointing across the water to a vacant shipyard, where once the shipbuilding industry was so healthy that vessels towered higher than the rows of houses on the shore. We’re on the waterfront in North Shields, just outside Newcastle, and our photographer is snapping away for Sam’s first NME cover shoot.

The singer-songwriter stares stonily into the lens as wafts of seaweed and fishing trawlers are carried by the northern coastal breeze. He’s already been stopped for a few pictures with fans, but remains eager to point out the impact that Tory leadership has had on his working-class town over the last few decades. “It’s been closed since the ��80s, from the ghost wasteland of the shipyards. You’ve got all the scars of Thatcherism from The Tyne all over to the pit villages in Durham.”

It’s as good an introduction as any to the outspoken musician, whose 2019 debut album ‘Hypersonic Missiles’ was a record for his sleepy hometown to be proud of – tackling themes that range from male suicide (the heartbreaking ‘Dead Boys’) to world tensions (and the “kids in Gaza” he eulogised on its soaring title track). He set weighty topics against blisteringly well-executed Americana with the fist-in-the-air euphoria of Bruce Springsteen’s colossal choruses and sax solos. Much like his hero, Sam smartly weaves his own political standpoint and personal circumstance into gripping anthems of a generation, which earned him the ‘Geordie Springsteen’ tag.

“I can’t exactly bat off those comparisons, can I?” he says back in his cosy recording studio nearby. “At the same time, I don’t feel worthy of that tag. The first time I heard it, I was like, ‘That’s fucking sick’, but you don’t want to be riding off the coattails of The Boss for the rest of your life. I can write my own songs, they’re different and my voice doesn’t sound anything like Springsteen’s. I don’t have his growl; I’m a little fairy when I sing.”

He may have toned down the Springsteen vibes slightly on his highly anticipated second album ‘Seventeen Going Under’, due later this year, but there are still plenty of chest-pounding anthems capable of making your hairs stand on end: “I much prefer Americana to the music we have in our country at the moment. I love the leftfield indie stuff like Fontaines D.C, Squid and Black Midi, but I love a chorus and melodic songs. I think the American alternative scene has that down with Pinegrove, Big Thief, The War On Drugs.”

‘Hypersonic Missiles’ thrummed with a small town frustration almost that every suburban teenager could surely relate to. This was most notable on ‘Leave Fast’, where he sang about the “boarded up windows on the promenade / The shells of old nightclubs” and “intoxicated people battling on the regular in a lazy Low Lights bar”, a reference to his beloved local. But album two sees him fully embrace North Shields, an ever-present backdrop to cherished memories and harrowing life events of his youth and surroundings.

It’s no coincidence that the 27-year-old has turned inwards and penned a record about his hometown while being stuck at home like the rest of the country: “I didn’t have anything to point at and I didn’t want to talk about the pandemic because nobody wants that – I never want to hear about it again. It was such a stagnant time that I had to go inwards and find something, because I was so uninspired by the lifetime we we’re living in.

“I’ve made my coming-of-age record and that was important for me – as I get older, these stories keep appearing; I’ve got so much to talk about. I wrote about growing up here. It’s about mental health and how things that happen as a child impact your self-esteem in later life. On the first record, I was pointing at stuff angrily, but the further I’ve gotten into my 20s, the more I’ve realised how little I know about anything. When you hit 25, you’re like: ‘I’m fucking clueless! I know nothing about the world.’ It was a humbling experience, growing up.”

Early last year, before the pandemic hit, Sam was set to jet off to New York pre-pandemic to record in the city’s infamous Electric Lady studios founded by Jimi Hendrix. “Looking back, I’m thankful that it happened,” he says. “If I went off to New York and did my second album there… it wouldn’t have been the same record. I will go and do the third one in NYC, come hell or high water – I’m fucking out of here!

“The forced return home really informed the direction [of the record]. I was on the crest of this insane wave; we’d sold out 84,000 tickets for the [‘Hypersonic Missiles] arena tour that we still haven’t played yet. I’m still waiting to hear when it’s going to be rescheduled. It’s incredibly frustrating; I’ve got loads of frustrated fans. That was all cancelled on the day of the lockdown. I thought it was only going to be a couple of months and that it would be another swine flu thing, but fool me – I was stuck in the house like everybody else.”

It’s not the first setback that Sam has dealt with in his career. In the summer of 2019, he was ready to make his Glastonbury Festival debut with a Friday afternoon set on the legendary John Peel Stage, a rite of passage for any emerging artist, but had to pull out due to a serious health issue with his vocal chords. The mood in the room shifts dramatically at the mention of this devastating period: “I don’t want to focus on that, to be honest, because it’s just negative news and it’s in the past.”

“The further I’ve gotten into my 20s, the more I’ve realised how little I know”

Looking back now, he says, it was a tough decision, but ultimately the right thing to do: “We were doing so much at the time and I just burnt out. If you damage your vocal cords, you can’t take it lightly. If something happens like that and you keep going, you’ll fucking lose your career forever. I never want to end up behind the knife; I just refuse to put myself in that situation.”

The fact that his 2019 breakthrough ground to a halt again in COVID-decimated 2020 “was frustrating as fuck”, he says, “but I took solace in the fact that everyone was stopped in their tracks that time; it wasn’t just me.” This was in stark contrast to the singer’s experience of pulling the biggest moment of his music career in order to rest his vocal cords: “I didn’t talk for three weeks; I had to be silent and just watch Glastonbury on the TV, going, ‘This is completely dogshit’. But you can’t even say that out loud – you’re just saying it over in your head like a psycho. I’d take a pandemic over that any day.”

There was a brief flash of light when he headlined the opening night at the world’s first socially distanced arena, Newcastle’s Virgin Money Unity venue, to an audience of 2,500. Yet Sam’s not in the mood to wax lyrical about that, either. “It was amazing,” he says, “but it didn’t happen again.” A local lockdown in the North East brought the following shows – which would have featured Kaiser Chiefs and Declan McKenna – to a premature end in September: “It was another false start. We thought everything was going to get moving again but then we were just sat around [again].”

As for this reaction to the Government’s handling of the pandemic? It perhaps says it all that he’s selling face masks emblazoned with the words ‘2020 Shit Show’ and ‘Dystopian Nightmare Festival’ on his website. “I think everyone has said enough haven’t they?” Sam suggests. “I never want to see Boris Johnson’s or Matt Hancock’s face ever again. As soon as they come on the TV, I just turn it off.”

Political tension bubbles through ‘Seventeen Going Under’. Its second half boasts tracks such as ‘Long Way Off’, a brooding but colossal festival anthem brimming with angst and unease. “Standing on the side I never was the silent type,” Fender roars, “I heard a hundred million voices / sound the same both left and right / we’re still alone we are.” It’s gripping stuff; a Gallagher-level anthem ripe for pyro and pints held aloft.

Sam says the song is about feeling stranded amid political divisiveness here and in the US, epitomised when Donald Trump supporters stormed the Capitol in Washington back in January: “You’ve either got right-wing, racist idiots or you’ve got this elitist, upper-middle-class section of the left-wing, which completely alienates people like myself and people from my hometown.”

“The polarity between the left and the right has me feeling like I have no identity”

Closer to home, the last UK election, in 2019, saw the so-called ‘Red Wall’ crumble as working-class voters in the north defected from Labour to Tory. “The polarity between the left and the right has me feeling like I have no identity,” Sam says. “I’m obviously left-wing, but you lose hope don’t you? Left-wing politics has lost its main votership; it doesn’t look after working-class people the way that it used to. Blyth Valley voted Tory just north of here. Now, that is saying something! We’re in dire straits when a fucking shipbuilding town is voting for the Tories – it’s like foxes voting for the hunter.”

He’s even seen his own working-class friends peel to the blue side: “I’m like, ‘What the fuck is going on?’ I understand it, though. I’d never vote for the bastards because I fucking hate them and I know what they’re up to, but I get why people don’t feel any alliegiance to left-wing politics when they’re working-class.”

As ever though, Sam isn’t masquerading as an expert: “I’m not fucking Noam Chomsky, you know what I mean? I’m not going to dissect the whole political agenda of the Tories and figure it all out because I can’t. All I see is a big fucking shit sandwich – every day through my news feed – and it’s just, ‘Well: that’s what your dealing with.”

The singer is fond of describing North Shields as “a drinking town with a fishing problem”. Today he adds: “That’s been the backdrop of my life: all of these displaced working-class people. It’s a town that’s resilient that still has a strong sense of community. In a lot of big cities that’s dead. In London everything changes from postcode to postcode, but everything is quite uniform up here.”

When NME was awaiting Sam’s arrival outside the studio before the interview, a passerby clocked our photographer’s gear and asked, “Oh aye – are you waiting for Sam? We all know Sam – a good lad; very accommodating with nae airs or graces about him.” Another pointed to The Low Lights Tavern down the road, where Fender used to pull pints on the weekends: “He was a terrible barman, and he’ll be the first to tell you that. I think he got sacked about six times during his time there.”

Sam (who confesses of his bartending know-how: “He’s totally right!”) hit the local to celebrate when ‘Hypersonic Missiles’ won him a Critics’ Choice gong at the BRIT Awards in 2019, placing the trophy on the bar. “I owed The Low Lights one for being such a shit barman,” he says. “I wanted them to be proud of us because they fucking certainly wasn’t proud of us when I was around working there!”

“Celebrity stuff freaks me out. I’d rather just live my life”

He’s clearly a key member of the local community, then. How did he see the pandemic impact on his family and friends – especially when the North East faced the toughest Tier Four lockdown restrictions last December? Sam pauses before bluntly saying: “I lost more mates; there was suicides again. Mental health was the biggest thing. We lost friends who had drunk too much.”

A track on the new record, ‘The Dying Light‘, is an epic sequel to ‘Dead Boys’, with the poignant last line of the album ringing out “for all the ones who didn’t make the night”. Sam, unable to truly distance himself from The Boss after all, explains: “It’s very Springsteen. It’s my ‘Jungleland’ or ‘Thunder Road’ – it’s got that ‘Born To Run’ feel; there’s strings and brass [and] it’s fucking massive. It’s a celebration. It’s a triumph over adversity.”

He stresses that it was vital for him to be in regular contact with his friendship circle through that traumatic time: “It becomes important when you lose friends to suicide… You realise it’s always the unlikely folks. We lost a friend to suicide at the beginning of last year and it was someone you’d never expect. It really hits home; it’s important to check in on your mates.”

Sam has alluded in previous interviews to a health condition that he’s not yet ready to fully disclose, and tells NME that he spent three months shielding at the beginning of the pandemic: “I was alone for three months and that was very tough… When you’re completely alone and isolated, it’s impossible. I spent a lot of time drinking and not really looking after myself and eating shit food, but I wrote a lot of good lyrics.”

There’s a certain resulting bleakness to some of his new songs, but Sam also wanted light to shine through. “It’s a darker record, but it’s a celebration of surviving and coming out the other end,” he explains. “It’s upbeat but the lyrics can be quite honest. It’s the most honest thing I’ve done.”

You might expect a young hometown hero to rail at having been denied the chance to capitalise on his burgeoning fame in the last year or so, but Sam insists, “I still have imposter syndrome,” adding: “I don’t feel like it’s happened… I’m walking around the street and people ask for photos and it just feels bizarre. I’m like, really? I feel like I haven’t come out of my shell yet.”

Sam has rarely been one to court celebrity, and revealed in 2019 that he’d turned down the chance to appear in an Ariana Grande video. “It was an honour but I would have just been known as that guy in the video,” he tells NME. “All of my mates would have been flipping their heads off, but I don’t think she would really want an out-of-shape, pale Geordie. I’d rather just live my life, because all of this celebrity stuff freaks [me] out, you know?”

He might have to get used to it: things can only get bigger with the arrival of the new album. “As a record I think this one is leagues ahead [of ‘Hypersonic Missiles’],” he says, “I’m more proud of this than anything I’ve ever done. It’s probably the best thing I’ve done in my life. I just hope people love it as much as I do. With the first album, a lot of those songs were written when I was 19, so I was over half of it [by the time it was released]. Whereas this one is where I’m at now.”

“This is a dark record, but it’s a celebration of surviving and coming out the other end”

Still, he adds: “At the same time, this record is probably going to piss a lot of people off.” He’s referring to a line in one of the more political tracks, ‘Aye’, where he returns to his most enduring bugbear, divisiveness, and claims that “the woke kids are just dickheads”. Sam’s no less forthcoming in person: “They fucking are, though! Some 22-year-old kid from Goldsmiths University sitting on his fucking high horse arguing with some working-class person on some comments section calling them an ‘idiot’ and a ‘bigot’? Nobody engages each other in a normal discussion [online] without calling each other a ‘thick cunt’.”

He’s eager to make this statement, though, come what may: “I don’t fucking care any more. I’m not really sure how the reaction is going to be. People used to say things online about me and I used to get quite hurt about it, but now I’m like, ‘Well, they’re not coming to my house’… [But] I get so angry. In Newcastle we say ‘pet’ and someone was trying to tell me that was fucking offensive towards women. You’re not going to delete my fucking colloquial identity. It’s not even gender-specific; we say it to men and women. My Grandma calls me ‘pet’! That brand of liberalism is fucking destroying the country. We could be getting Boris Johnson and all them pricks out of office if we stopped sweating over shit like that”.

Sam might be outspoken, but he’s self-aware, too. When we were talking politics earlier, he said: “I didn’t want to start on ‘cancel culture’ because I don’t want to sound like Piers Morgan [and] I fucking hate that cunt. But there is a degree of it which lacks redemption; people fuck up. Everyone is a flawed character. If you’re not admitting that you have flaws, then you’re a fucking psychopath. The left-wing seem to be that way and the right-wing are fucking worse than they’ve ever been. Politically I have just lost my shit.”

In all of this uncertainty, though, it seems a sure thing that Sam Fender will take his rightful crown – as soon as the world lets him – with the colossal ‘Seventeen Going Under’. “It’s going to be a hell of a return,” he insists. “I know the fans are still there, you know? So I’m not really worried – I’m ready to go out there and do my thing. Finally!”