#and I really loved the margaret book

[secondbeatsongs]

Please elaborate on the Judy Blume fact

from the mid-00s to the early '10s, Random House had a website called "Random Buzzers", a place for kids and teens to talk about books

they had fun activities (short story contests, writing prompts, quizzes, etc), and for some of the activities, you got rewarded points, which you could then use to buy books in their online store.

it was a fun time! I really liked writing short stories and poems and stuff for the contests, and this wasn't like (afaik)...predatory? it wasn't something where the site was going to take these stories and use them later, it was just...for fun.

unfortunately, the site is down now, and with it all of the cool stories/art/poems/etc that people made. :/ but thankfully, I have most of my stuff backed up.

anyway! this site also had events where an author would join their discussion forum for a few days to answer a bunch of questions and talk with people. and one time they had Judy Blume join, and I got to chat with her a bit!

I talked about the books of hers I'd read, and showed a picture of my copy of Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, and she told me that she was impressed I had a copy that was so old, and also that she'd always been annoyed with the cover art for that edition, because the cut of Margaret's dress made her look pregnant. xD

I also talked about how because I was homeschooled, I liked reading books about kids going to public school, because I would never know what that was like - and she said that made her wish she had written her books more descriptively, which I thought was sweet.

anyway, we had a nice talk, and she left the forum a couple days later, and that was that.

then, some time later, Judy Blume was at the national book festival, so I went, hoping that she would sign my book. and when I got up to the front of the autograph line, I said, "hi, I don't know if you remember me, but I talked with you once on random buzzers"

and...she did remember me! she knew my username, and that I was homeschooled, and she was excited that I had come to see her, and that she got to sign my book (even if it was a cover design she didn't like xD)

she just seemed really nice, and I'm glad to have had that experience.

[thisbluespirit]

Films watched (1930s): THE LADY VANISHES (Gainsborough, 1938); dir. Alfred Hitchcock; adapted by Sidney Gilliat & Frank Launder (based on The Wheel Spins by Ethel Lina White). Starring Michael Redgrave, Margaret Lockwood, Dame May Witty & Paul Lukas.

"People don't just disappear into thin air."

[kashilascorner]

Read in 2023: Henry VI (parts 2-3) & Richard III (William Shakespeare)

"More can I bear than you dare execute."

"To weep is to make less the depth of grief: Tears then for babes; blows and revenge for me."

"And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover, To entertain these fair well-spoken days, I am determined to prove a villain And hate the idle pleasures of these days."

[marley-manson]

i guess that's my attitude towards all media i enjoy really lol. i would rather have something with high highs and dismal lows than something that's just fine the whole way through

i'll easily look past a lot of problems in stuff if it does something uniquely enjoyable. and that does include actual problematic elements too. i'm aware of them, i will warn for them if asked, i'll often vocally criticize them myself if i feel like posting critical stuff, but it won't stop me from loving something that otherwise caters to me

granted i think this is true of basically everyone to some extent, but i think everyone has a line where if it's crossed it actually ruins something they would otherwise love. and my line is very far in the distance compared to most people's i think. i'm pretty good at focusing on what really appeals to me and rolling my eyes at what doesn't. as long as something about it really appeals to me.

[edwardglitterhandss]

I'm going insane over this book I just read

Main character believes herself to be unlovable and ugly and worthless and falls in love with someone who writes her poetry about how he had never known what true bravery was before meeting her and he will chase her because she is worth it. She runs away at the end of the first book because she wants to 'redeem herself' and 'make an honest living ' to be worthy of him and her family.

Cue second book, he finds her, they make up, she eventually shows him all her scars and vulnerabilities and realizes she's in love. She knows he loves her. They work together to be patient to move past their traumas. I'm thinking oh I know that there is going to be another book next year, but they made the characters grow so much this novel that it must be focused on them doing an adventure together. But they coded in a way for her to paralyze him with a magic safe word. I knew she would use this to hurt him, and herself, because she does that consistently. Figured it might be a paralyses him before the final fight so she can go off and fight the big bad on her own. It's so much worse....

They defeat the evil and talk about their future, he says that he can wait for her in the next town. Last time they had planned this she ran away. She points this out, he says 'i trust you, and I know where to find you'. They have sex for the first time that night, he says that he loves her, she still has not told him. She overhears someone saying that he would be forced to choose his career over her and she decides to make the choice for him. She doesn't want to ruin his life, like she 'ruined' everyone else's. He asks her to come back to bed and she tells him she loves him and then paralyzes him as she runs away again.

I'm so mad, because I knew it would happen but also because I understand why. Like this whole second book was about her abusive mother who is exactly like mine and made her believe those things about herself. I get it because I used to do that same stuff too and now I can read it and see both sides and see like oh my god no you are being dumb and this is hurting him and you guys could be happy but I get it. And it was stupid and I'm mad and I'm sad about it and part of me feels like it was dumb and then I think about the character growth and how I could predict that it would happen again despite it because it was in character. Because she loves him, and feels that she is not worth it. Aaaassaas

[smiletimeisrunningout]

You know, I don't think I've ever seen you sulk

"Yes, you have! The stabbing, remember?" she responded without thinking, and then tried to move past it quickly, since it wasn't exactly the topic that made him happiest. "And no Shakespeare, why does it have to be him? He's my nemesis-" she poked his side with one finger to bring that home, breaking into a wider smile, "Whatever happens to actual novels, like the D'artagnan one? I don't know if it has a happy ending but I do know it has a story in it!"

He seemed adorably taken aback by the fact that people didn't seem him as a creature of passion, exactly, and Emma bit back a smirk. "Oh, it's not that we don't think you can, dear, and I very much know that you happen to be proficient in the area... It's more that we don't expect you to be willing. And that one is your fault, you not only look quite horrified by Caleb's comments, but... kind of give the impression that you'd... feel like work always comes first. I also for one would never expect you to be persuaded by me, since you, sir, seemed very determined to make sure I knew I wasn't your type from day one."

I've heard fathers have a sixth sense for that sort of thing

Emma grimaced, "God I hope not." So many men, so many horrors. "I'd rather like you with your face intact." never like to get ahead of myself.

While she wasn't too happy herself to imagine Ben marrying someone - which was a silly thought, of course this would end once it was time for her to go home, and he'd find a wife, she couldn't help the fascinated look on her face, and she brushed his hair again, "You didn't just 'not like it', you didn't seem to see any life after the war, only the present," she pointed out softly, "Are you... Do you ever think about it now? The future?"

It seemed like it meant something, but Emma wasn't sure of what. She forgot about her train of thoughts, too, when Ben was so easy to lean against her touch, her heart speeding up, and she couldn't even make a real joke out of the innuendo he had just gifted her, because she was feeling the same agitation - the good kind - that she had felt when waiting for him. And since when he was the one teasing, and she was the nervous one? She thought even her cheeks must be red when all she could do was kiss him, and while it could be blamed on her enthusiasm, deep down she knew it wasn't true.

Damn it, her heart was still beating hard. She took a breath to calm down, but it did absolutely nothing. "Then come see me tonight?" she whispered on an impulse, cupping his cheek gently, "We don't have to do anything more than this, I just-I just want to kiss you a little more..." So much for behaving. "No, wait, you must be tired, you had less hours to sleep last night, right? It's not like you can stay in bed until well-rested... Forget it, we'll find a better time..."

Benjamin grinned. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you sulk -- maybe I should put that 'chipper princess act' to the test. Still, I think I could be amenable. Shakespeare has comedies, as well."

Although Emma's assessment made sense, he still felt a little put off by the assumption. "Why does everyone think I can't be carnal?" he asked. "I mean, yes, I would never succumb for sport or without meaning, but I think I proved I'm not a complete wet blanket. With the right amount of incentive, I can be very easily persuaded...and repeatedly."

Flushing slightly, he smiled and looked away. "I'm grateful I'm not on the same godless tier as Bradford, though I'm still unconvinced. Perhaps your father will just take one look at me and know what I've done. I've heard fathers have a sixth sense for that sort of thing."

The more Emma spoke, the more Benjamin found himself liking, and even admiring her father. "I believe he's right," the major softly said, "and I'm not just saying that because I wish to survive this visit." Chuckling, Benjamin squeezed her hand. "Family and friends are what I value most. Expressing shame and belittlement towards someone you're supposed to love, and all for the sake of approval, seems cowardly. I'd never do that to my future wife...should I have one." His smile turned sheepish. "I never like to get ahead of myself."

"Such a diligent student." Emma's fingers ran through his hair, soft and fond, and Benjamin found himself melting into her touch. It seemed that no matter the circumstance, he couldn't keep from falling prey to her every whim and fancy.

"Funny," he softly said, brushing his lips over hers, "I think you're by far my favorite instructor...though I'm grateful no one else was quite so hands-on."

A slight flush stained his cheeks from the shameless innuendo, and leaning into her kiss, he angled in with increasing ardor, his pulse quickening as the familiarity of her soft, pleasing warmth flooded through him in heady waves.

Forcing himself to break away -- he needed to maintain some form of propriety -- Benjamin gave a bashful smile and lowered his eyes. "I thought we agreed we should be careful," he softly said. "If we keep...i-if we keep doing that, I'm not so sure I can oblige. And I can guarantee that Caleb storms in here without warning -- and often."

[evegwood]

Nosferatu’s Contracts: A Linguistic Deepdive

(This is one half of a blogpost I put on my website! Read the full thing for a full list of sources and even MORE information on the contract from the 1922 film).

So I saw the new Nosferatu film the other day and while I didn't think it was all that fantastic (I loved the first half okay, calm down) the one thing that did stick out to me was the absolutely gorgeous scripts used for the contract that Thomas has to sign. Thank you to this Reddit post for sharing a picture of the entire thing:

The BEAUTIFUL red calligraphy is called Vyaz, a form of decorative Cyrillic calligraphy. In Vyaz script, letters are all joined and interwoven together to create a beautiful, ornamental typographical piece. The Wikipedia page about it is fucking pathetic but it does feature this example of text with a coloured breakdown of the individual words that comprise the piece:

Obviously this itched my language brain like crazy. The best resource I have found since to learn more about Vyaz is this full, free guide written by Viktor Pushkarev. He has also released a 254 page PDF for 25 euros called the Modern Slavic Vyaz Calligraphy Workbook and I think I'm going to have to buy it. His examples look stunning and I would love to learn more about this style of calligraphy. Thank you, Nosferatu.

The Vyaz calligraphy is only one style of writing used in that contract. The other is a completely different style of writing and, surprisingly (or not, maybe?) the best place to look for answers turned out to once again be Reddit. This commenter suggests it's another form of Cyrillic:

Here's some Glagolitic, to compare:

In a different thread, this commenter claims to have cracked it:

This commenter replies with an addition:

So that's cool! In that same thread, this commenter says that the contract looks like a Romanian hrisov, or medieval chancellery charter, and recommends this video explaining how they were written. As you can see from the example below that the commenter shared, these traditional contracts look pretty damn similar to Orlok's contract! So let's talk about them real quick, because it's interesting!

The video is by Adrian Gheorghe, a historian whose speciality is the editing and translation of all documents regarding Vlad the Impaler. He talks about how unlike letters, which would be written in Latin, these charters were written in Slavonic, a liturgical and "literary language, based on Slavic dialects of the Balkans, developed by monks in the 9th century" (X). Viktor Pushkarev suggests a book called Grammar of the Church Slavonic Language if you want to learn more about the grammar and syntax. Slavonic was often written in Glagolitic and hey, we've seen that before!

These charters also had explicit and strict structures that they adhered to. This strict standard served to not only prove the legitimacy of a document, but that "the document was drawn up with all due solemnity" (X). Interestingly, each charter would invoke God in the opening lines or would simply have a cross at the beginning, and according to the translations given above Count Orlok's contract does not seem to include this. I recommend checking out the video in its entirety to hear more about this cool bit of history.

But of course... that's not all that's written on the contract, is it? Thomas signs it, and he signs it in Kurrent script, an old traditional form of German cursive. If you'd like to learn how to write in Kurrent, there's a free guide by Margarete Mücke right here! Here's a screenshot I took of the scene along with a Kurrent alphabet for comparison:

Kurrent has a really interesting history. It evolved from gothic cursive at the beginning of the 16th century, which saw a lot of use in the medieval ages. Compared to the vast variety of gothic cursive writing styles, Kurrent was "beautiful, fast to write and comparatively legible" (X). It soon moved out of use solely in chancelleries and into everyday use, becoming more and more standardised.

This script saw a bit of a rollercoaster of popularity; in the early 1900s it was established and taught in all German schools, then steadily became seen as "antiquated and ugly", then the Nazis declared other writing scripts "Un-German" and promoted gothic typography until 1941 when Hitler declared Kurrent and its sister writing style Fraktur "to be of 'Jewish origin' and therefore taboo". More information about this can be found on this page about the history of Old German Script (another name for Kurrent).

So that's that! Count Orlok's contract is based on traditional charters of the region with set structures to highlight their legitimacy and importance as documents, using traditional scripts and handwriting of the time, and is also a style of document that is directly tied to Vlad the Impaler, the inspiration for Dracula and ultimately Nosferatu. Extremely cool and also totally makes sense considering Robert Eggers interest in authentic linguistic detail (like I didn't even mention the language that Orlok speaks throughout the film, which is Dacian, an extinct ancestor of Romanian). Lots of really tasty stuff to look at and I had a blast putting it all together.

Except.......... it's not the end. There's a whole second saga to be told about the contract from the 1922 film, and if you wanna read that (I get deep into talking occult symbols and angel languages) you're gonna have to read the original post on my site!

[steddiealltheway]

It's Cass Day!!!! Happy happy happy happy birthday @henderdads. i love you so so much, and I'm so thankful that you let me plot all my fics and ficlets (including this one ha!) in your dms. (and of course, I'm thankful for you forever and always for everything). I hope you enjoy and have a wonderful birthday :))))

Wednesday afternoons are Steve’s favorite afternoon out of the whole week.

There’s something about pushing a squeaky cart around the local grocery store and making small talk with the Wednesday regulars - a gossipy book club of moms who do their shopping at the same time so they have more time to complain about their husbands - that really fills Steve heart. (Or maybe it’s just the slight bitchy side of him that loves to rag on Elizabeth’s husband Tom who really needs to get his head out of his ass and appreciate the beauty in front of him, and of course he can’t forget Charles, Lisa’s dick of a husband who apparently doesn’t know what a date night is, oh! And Margaret’s husband Al… and really, he could go on about these husbands for hours without getting tired of it)

Really, he loves the routine of it all. And the way the women dote on him for being so kind to his girlfriend back home - which he constantly reminds them is not his girlfriend. But he sometimes wishes the groceries in his cart and the scribbled list in his hand was for someone he could go back home to greet with a kiss. (After giving Robin a hug of course, because in any fantasy, some of those things on that list and in the cart are always going to be for Robin).

But really, it would be nice to have someone to brag about to the group. Maybe bring up their spirits that love is not lost and-

Steve stops in his tracks, all thoughts gone from his head as he does a double take at the magazine rack near the checkout. And yeah, he knows that Corroded Coffin is popular. Hell, he’s seen Eddie’s face on the same rack at least five times before. But never like this.

The picture on the front page is taken at a lower angle, with Eddie clad in leather pants and a tight mesh black shirt that might be a crop top, but Steve can’t tell with the way Eddie’s guitar is covering his midriff, hands flying over the frets, showing off silver rings glimmering under the stage lights including the one that Steve helped Dustin pick out for him as a celebratory gift. But as Steve’s eyes trace over Eddie’s bare arms and the stark black tattoos, he’s led to wild curls perfectly framing Eddie’s face which stares down at the cords, mouth parted in an ‘o’ shape and eyebrows knitted together in concentration in a way that makes Steve feel weak in the knees.

And Steve’s suddenly hit with the question: Why didn’t anyone tell him that Eddie was hot???

He snatches the magazine off the rack before he can even really think about it, and tries not to think of what the moms will say about him when he leaves.

Maybe they’ll stop assuming he has a girlfriend at home at least.

During his drive home, he can’t help but think about the magazine laying between the loaf of bread and carton of ice cream that were packed together by the newest bag boy - which the ladies have a lot to say about, but Steve can’t think of anything besides that damn picture.

Once he’s back at the apartment, he puts the groceries away at an alarmingly fast rate, before making his way to the couch and laying back with the magazine in his hands.

It’s nice to see Eddie on the front cover of a magazine without it being attached to some weird scandal that Eddie had nothing to do with. Usually it’s an ill timed photo because he always happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. But this time…

Steve let’s out a deep breath and flips through the magazine, hoping that there’s some type of interview with more pictures that he can secretly stare at and panic about later.

There’s a bunch of boring looking articles and ads until he spots a page with bright red lettering and a number of pictures. Steve can’t help but wet his lips when he opens the page to find a picture of Eddie smiling at something off camera, looking totally different from the front cover. He just looks like… Eddie.

Yet, Steve finds his heart racing even harder at this picture, missing those dimples and that glimmer of mischief in Eddie’s eyes that’s usually directed at him. And Steve suddenly wonders what or who Eddie's looking at, feeling a bloom of jealousy in his chest.

He glances away from the picture and scans the page for another one. He smiles when he sees Eddie with the rest of his band mates, leaning heavily on Jeff while pulling his signature expression, nearly elbowing Jeff in the ribs to do his devil horns.

Steve laughs at Jeff’s face scowling down at him while Gareth and Frank cackle beside them. He wonders when they’ll be back in town.

Wait.

Steve dog ears the page before running up to his calendar where Robin had written “Dustin’s favorite day ever” on the upcoming Friday.

“Oh no,” Steve mutters to himself. That’s way too damn soon for Eddie to come home after Steve’s realization. He needs to give him at least two weeks to panic and process.

Okay, if Eddie was there with him, the panicking and processing would probably happen in two hours- no, minutes- maybe even seconds. But giving Steve two days is not the right amount of time. That’s just enough time for Steve to really start and settle into the panic. But hey, maybe he can dedicate the next twenty-four hours to panicking and the twenty-four hours after that to processing. Right?

Absolutely. He can do this.

-:-:-:-:-:-

"Robin, I can't do this."

Robin rolls her eyes at him. "I can't believe one picture wrecked you."

"It's not my fault! It's the damn photographer and whoever put that picture on the front cover," Steve complains, running a hand through his hair. "They're the ones who made me think of him like that."

"Uh huh."

Steve glances over at Robin who looks completely engrossed in painting her nails a deep purple color that looks black from where Steve is standing. He glances at himself in the mirror, nervously styling his hair before picking up the magazine from where it has made a permanent home on the coffee table. He flops down on the couch next to Robin who yelps and groans, "You made me smudge my nail polish!"

"We have more important things to worry about than the state of your nail polish."

Robin carefully cleans around the edge of her nail, stained with the dark color before turning to Steve. "Yes, the sudden realization that Eddie is hot is very important to me."

"You know what I mean," Steve sighs, leaning back against the couch as he opens the magazine to his favorite picture of Eddie in this edition. He looks at it for a moment, immediately closing it when he realizes he's smiling.

Robin blows on her nails and frowns before glancing back at Steve. "Okay. He's going to be here in less than an hour. How can I help you? Although, I really don't think you'll need my help at all."

"What do you mean?" Steve asks, a pinch forming between his brows.

Robin gives him a look. "You're going to act weird around him. He's going to eventually pick up on it. And then you're going to confess all these feelings you're having and then..." Robin has a sudden look of realization and immediate disappointment. "Then, I'm going to have to find somewhere else to stay tonight since you told Eddie he could stay here on the couch, which is not going to happen after your little confession."

"He's going to leave?" Steve asks quickly in confusion and slight panic.

Robin huffs, "No, he's going to be staying in your bed. And I really do not want to hear that."

Steve frowns. "You don't even know if he thinks I'm hot."

A look passes over Robin's face, first humor, then a bit of confusion, disbelief, and, once again, disappointment. "Steve," she asks, grabbing his hand, eyes staring hard into his. "This whole time you've had the magazine, you never read the interview?" Robin asks as if it's the most important question she's ever asked him.

"Why would I read it?" Steve asks with a shake of his head. When Robin's jaw drops, he gets the sudden message that he is definitely missing something. He snatches up the magazine and flips it open, somehow not getting to the interview right away although he was sure that he opened it to that page so much that it permanently creased the spine.

Just as he gets to it. There's a loud, persistent knock on the door.

Steve's and Robin's eyes meet in a panic. "Hide the magazine," Robin all but hisses as she makes it to the door raising her voice to say, "We have neighbors! Keep it down, dingus!"

Steve looks around, wondering if he can shove the magazine under the couch, but he knows Eddie would somehow see it in his antics. When he spots the stack of magazines on their side table, he rushes to put the magazine right in the middle of them. Hiding in plain sight. Perfect.

He stands up as soon as the door swings open, trying not to look guilty and failing miserably, only to breathe a sigh of relief when he realizes it's only Dustin. "Henderson," he says with a goofy smile launching into their handshake and ending it with a quick laugh, knocking off Dustin's hat to ruffle his hair.

When Dustin starts complaining about his hat being on the floor, Steve bends down to pick it up, only for a pale, ring-clad hand to grab onto it at the same time Steve does.

Steve glances up and locks eyes with Eddie. His heart starts to pound at an alarming rate as he takes in the familiar deep brown irises, moving on to take in the slight blush on Eddie's cheeks alongside a wide smile. "Steeeve Harrington," Eddie drawls out, the way he does when he hasn't seen him in a while.

"Munson," Steve says with a nod, a wide smile tugging at his lips that he tries to push down, as he always does when it comes to Eddie as if pretending not to care. The same way he does when he's trying to get someone to like him...

Oh.

Shit, he doesn't just think he's hot. He likes him. Hell, he's liked him for a long time even. And now he has even less time to panic about that.

Steve glances up, finding that Eddie has stood up, hat still between their hands as he stares down confusedly at Steve. He offers a hand, and Steve takes it, easily being pulled up into his space. He lingers close to Eddie, eyes dipping down to his lips, realizing how much he wants- needs this.

He glances up at Eddie, finding his pupils blown wide and his brow furrowed. And Steve finally feels that electricity that he's been searching months- no, years for.

"Am I getting my hat back?" Dustin asks, clearly annoyed.

Steve and Eddie both shove the hat over at the same time, eyes reluctantly leaving each other, only for Steve to see Robin giving him an unimpressed look. He can practically see her trying to figure out who she's going to call to spend the night with.

Steve glances back at Eddie and rushes out, "It's- uh, good to see you again."

Eddie grabs a strand of hair and pulls it in front of his face, kicking nothing as he says, "You miss me, Steve?"

Steve shakes his head automatically, "No." He turns to Dustin and asks him when the others are getting there, but his question is answered when the door opens behind them again.

"Do you guys knock?" Robin asks, stealing the words out of Steve's mouth.

"Do you guys lock your door?" Mike snarks back.

Steve sighs and moves to Robin's side, watching as the kids all greet Eddie excitedly. "Why don't they greet us like that?" Steve quietly bitches.

"Because we're not famous and gone all the time," Robin answers with a frown. "By the way, tonight is going totally as I planned."

Steve rolls his eyes. "No, it is not. I have been acting completely normally around him."

"Yeah, because you two have the tendency to eye fuck each other for an uncomfortable amount of time." Robin pauses and considers what she said. "Actually, I take that back. You two are acting completely normal."

"Since when do we-"

"Hey," Eddie says, successfully cutting Steve off, "When the pizzas get here, I'm paying."

Robin nudges Steve in the side after a few seconds pass, and Steve can't help but stare at the man instead of processing anything he said. "Hmm?"

"I'm paying for the pizza you all ordered," Eddie says, brows still furrowed. "Are you okay?"

Steve nods and crosses his arms. "Yes, it's just that we didn't order any pizza."

"But Dustin said..." Eddie trails off and glances at the kids. "Those little shits."

"Someone needs to give them a stern talking to."

Eddie raises his brows. "Are you shirking your co-parenting duties while I'm away?"

Steve huffs out a laugh. "Don't worry, I'm keeping your sheep in line."

Eddie offers him a big smile and leans in to say, "Sorry, I can't be here often, sweetheart."

Steve shoves him away with a roll of his eyes, ignoring the way his heart flutters at the nickname. "Go do your part and entertain them."

"And pay for the food!" Eddie reminds him yet again, walking toward the group, eyes not leaving Steve.

"My hero," Steve says, taking a page from Eddie's book of dramatics by crossing his hands over his heart and fluttering his lashes.

Eddie stops in his tracks, looking over him before shaking his head and going to the table where everyone is setting up.

"That was painful to witness," Robin says, scaring the shit out of Steve. She crosses her arms. "Did you really forget I was here?" When Steve doesn't respond, she walks away, muttering, "Unbelievable."

Steve runs a hand through his hair, willing his heart to slow down before he has to sit through this long-ass campaign - that he secretly really enjoys, but no one except Robin will ever know.

-:-:-:-:-:-

A few hours later, Steve finds himself giving the kids hugs as they rush out his door, nearly missing their curfew. When they make their way to Eddie, he whispers to Robin, "See, the night didn't go as planned at all."

Robin raises her eyebrows at him and whispers back, "Yeah, you're not going to act weird at all when you two are alone."

Steve gives her a panicked look. "What do you mean- you're not leaving are you?"

Robin throws her hands up in a shrug as she backs up into her room, leaving the door open as she very obviously packs an overnight bag. Steve wonders if there is any way to stop her without alerting Eddie.

"What's Buckley doing?" Eddie asks, startling Steve. Eddie reaches out and lays a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay? You've been on edge all night."

Steve nods automatically. "Yeah, I'm fine." And yeah, he is fine. And he has not been on edge at all because that would mean that Robin is right.

Speak of the devil... "I'm heading out tonight! You two have fun," Robin says with a salute. "I'll see you tomorrow." Before Steve or Eddie can stop her, she's already out the door, leaving them entirely alone. Steve doesn't even remember when the kids all left.

"I'm guessing you know what that's about," Eddie says, eyebrows disappearing under his bangs as he stares at the door.

"No idea," Steve replies, making his way back to the dining area to clean up the remaining mess the teens made, and really he was going to have to give them another lecture about cleaning up after themselves.

"Steve," Eddie says softly.

Steve hums in response but doesn't dare to look his way as he stacks up various empty plastic cups.

"Steve," Eddie tries again.

And Steve knows that tone. Knows that if he fully engages, Eddie will want to have a serious conversation which is not something they often do. So he just keeps cleaning until there's nothing left to do except brush imaginary crumbs off the table.

"Steve," Eddie says, voice impossibly close to him.

Steve takes a deep breath and turns to him, heart skipping a beat when he finds Eddie hovering in his space.

"What's going on?" Eddie asks gently.

Steve shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. "Nothing." He quickly moves away from Eddie, grabbing a napkin off one of the kitchen counters and tossing it into the trash on his way to the living room.

"Why are you acting weird?"

"I'm not," Steve says, resting his hands on his hips in the same way he does when the kids start to annoy him.

Eddie raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms, staring but not saying anything.

Steve stares back, jutting his hip out in a show of how adamant he is about his answer.

After a few tense seconds pass by, Eddie slowly walks closer to him, and Steve fights for his eyes to not flicker down to his lips. When Eddie is within arms reach, he leans forward. "Steve, what is wrong?"

Steve shrugs nonchalantly, but his eyes betray him and flicker to the stack of magazines beside the couch. He tries to keep his features carefully blank, but he sees the moment Eddie realizes there is something significant about that glance.

Before Steve can stop him, Eddie is diving down to the magazines, snatching up the whole stack in his arms. Steve moves forward to grab them, only to realize his error when Eddie scoots back and smiles wildly. "This is it, isn't it? What, did you hide a filthy magazine inside here or something?"

"Eddie..." Steve warns, standing above him, hands still on his hips.

Eddie smiles before turning his eyes to the stack and leafing through them. Steve moves down quickly, knocking the magazines out of his hands as he practically straddles Eddie. He stares down at him, eyes wide, about to move back when he notices Eddie's eyes resting on his stomach.

Steve glances down between them only to see the image of Eddie on the front cover staring back at him.

"Shit, I didn't know they released that yet," Eddie says, laying fully back, hands dragging over his face. He lets them rest there before spreading his fingers to ask, "You read the interview, didn't you?"

"No," Steve says honestly.

Eddie frowns and props himself up on his elbows. "When did you get this?"

"Wednesday." And curse his damn mouth for rambling without his permission.

"You got this two days ago but haven't read the interview?" Eddie's expression shifts from fearful to cocky. "Steve Harrington, did you buy this just to stare at me?"

"No," Steve says, crossing his arms.

Eddie sits up fully, and Steve becomes very aware of the way he's still sitting on top of Eddie's thighs. "Did you get all flustered about this?" Eddie asks, holding up the magazine teasingly.

Steve's eyes flicker to the front cover again, and his lips suddenly feel very dry. His tongue darts out to wet his lips. He glances back at Eddie and shrugs. "You look fine."

"Has anyone ever told you you're a bad liar?"

"Has anyone ever told you you need to get your ego in check?"

Eddie smirks at him. "Why would I need to do that when I know Steeeeve Harrington bought the magazine with my face on it?"

"Stop saying my name like that," Steve says, leaning forward trying to be menacing, but only satisfying Eddie by getting closer to him.

"Why? Steeev-" Eddie's cut off when Steve suddenly moves forward and kisses him, hands flying up into his curls to pull him closer.

Steve stills before pulling back, searching Eddie's eyes.

"You...?" Eddie asks before raking a hand through his hair. "You actually bought it to stare at me?"

Steve rolls his eyes. "You already knew that since I'm 'such a bad liar,'" Steve says adding air quotes.

"I was hoping you were. Christ, Steve, this?" Eddie asks, holding up the magazine.

Steve runs a hand through his hair. "You look hot!"

"Christ," Eddie says again, this time dropping the magazine to pull Steve into another kiss. He breaks it to mumble, "I can't believe you haven't read the damn interview." His hands run through Steve's hair messing up the strands before he pulls back suddenly. "Wait."

"Yeah?" Steve asks as Eddie's eyes practically glaze over in panic.

Eddie's chest heaves for a second before he says, "Fuck, you bought it because you thought I'm hot not because... fuck." He looks away from Steve and stares down at the magazine as if it personally offended him.

"Huh?" Steve asks, knees starting to ache on the hardwood floor. He climbs off of Eddie with a groan, but Eddie must take it wrong because he almost immediately stands up.

"Sorry, it's stupid," Eddie says with a humorless laugh. "Hey, do you think Buckley will be upset if I take her bed for the night? It's been a long day, and I'm about ready to clonk out."

Steve can feel his face morph into an expression of bewilderment. "Eddie, what?"

Eddie shakes his head. "Yeah, you're right. Dumb idea. Robin would kill me. I'll take the couch like usual."

Steve carefully stands and steps into Eddie's space, but Eddie sidesteps him easily. He watches as he flops down on the couch, refusing to look at him.

Steve's eyes settle back on the magazine, reaching down to grab it to find whatever the hell is in that interview.

"Steve, please don't."

Steve ignores Eddie the same way he ignored him, opening the magazine to the same page his eyes have landed on several times before. His eyes settle on the image of Eddie before moving to the words, skimming before he finds his own name staring back at him. He backtracks, looking at the question and answer.

Do you guys have any sources of inspiration?

Jeff: Oh, Eddie sure does.

Frank: He has what you might call a muse back at home.

Eddie: Please shut up.

Gareth: A beautiful muse with the most beautiful hair you've ever seen.

Eddie: Please stop talking about Stevie.

Jeff: He's just shy when it comes to his little crush.

Eddie: Next question, please.

Steve glances up at Eddie who sits red-faced on the couch. He clears his throat. "They told me they would cut it out entirely, but then they reached out later saying it was too good not to publish, but they did me the favor of changing your name to something more feminine so they didn't out me. Still fucked though. I'm sorry you got pulled into this mess."

Steve looks back at the magazine and then at Eddie. "Is it true?"

Eddie groans and lays back on the couch dramatically. "Please don't make me answer that. I've gotten enough shit from the guys, and I know you don't feel that way about me. It's okay that you only find me hot, I'll take what I can."

It hits Steve all at once what Eddie's sudden dramatics are about. "Oh my god. Eddie, I like you, too!"

Eddie's head pops up. "What?"

Steve turns the magazine to him and points at the picture of Eddie laughing. "This is what I've been so flustered and weird about. Yes, the front cover made me realize that, hey, I find you really attractive. But I've been staring at this picture for way longer, and I didn't know why until you got here tonight. And it hit me that I like you. I think I have for a long time, but I just didn't connect the dots before."

"You like me?" Eddie echos, dumbfounded.

Steve laughs. "Yes, I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't have feelings for you."

"That's a fucking relief," Eddie says, scrambling off the couch and racing to pull Steve into another kiss.

Steve smiles into the kiss, pulling Eddie as close to him as possible as Eddie attempts to do the same.

"I'm going to give that photographer the biggest tip ever," Eddie says breaking the kiss for a moment only to kiss him again.

Steve smiles so wide that he can barely kiss Eddie back. When they break away, Steve says, "I'm going to have to buy another."

"Why?"

"I have to get the front picture and the interview framed," Steve says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Of course," Eddie says with a laugh before wrapping his arms around Steve and pulling him in close. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too," Steve replies.

They hold each other for a while, not willing to break the moment until a sudden thought has Steve groaning.

"What?" Eddie asks, pulling back to look at him.

"Robin was right."

Eddie smiles. "When is she not?"

"Never," Steve answers simply.

They stand in each other's arms just happy to be so close, taking each other in as if it's for the first time. Steve wonders what to tell the Wednesday regulars and how they'd respond if he introduced Eddie to them. He thinks back to Lisa's comments about how the group should just date each other and how Sarah had responded with a little too much enthusiasm, and Steve thinks things will be just fine.

"What are you thinking about?"

Steve shakes his head with a smile. "What are you doing this Wednesday?" he asks, making a mental note to add two frames, another magazine, and Robin's favorite ice cream to the list.

"Anything you want," Eddie replies easily.

And with that, Steve finds himself looking forward to his Wednesday afternoon even more than usual.

[lovebugism]

Hi! Could I pls request a Steve x shy!reader drabble? Maybe they’re a bit of a bookworm and they have a meet cute at a library or bookstore or something ☺️ I love your fics, and I hope you’re having a good day! 💛

i've been working on this wip for ages but i loved this request too much not to finish! thanks for being patient with me anon!

summary: steve hopeless romantic harrington meets shy!reader at a bookstore and fluffy awkwardness ensues (meet cute, strangers to lovers-ish, fluff, 2.1k)

fictober (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)

Five hours go by like minutes, tucked away in the back of the library — your own little corner of the world. 

Because all your spare cash went to groceries and good food (and the newest Margaret Atwood novel just dropped), you hide in the back of the bookstore and get lost in the nostalgic earthy scent of the thick pages you’ve been waiting ages to read. 

You sit between the dystopian and gothic fiction aisles, back propped against the former with your knees folded to your chest, and speed-read as much as you can before closing.

The in-store café offers complimentary coffee and bagels. It’s lukewarm and a little cardboard-y, but it’s fuel nonetheless. You only get up once to use the bathroom and stretch your stiff limbs. Other than that very brief break, you’re relatively unbothered — until page 196, anyway.

“Where are the porno mags?” a male voice wonders from a few aisles down. It’s not the first voice you’ve heard all day, but it’s certainly the closest.

A feminine voice follows, nearer now. “There’s no porn, dingus. I was just saying that so you’d drive me here.”

“…That’s so fucked up.”

“You’ll get over it.”

“No, actually. I won’t. This might be the end of our friendship, now that I think about it.”

Their conversation draws closer and closer to you in time with their nearing footsteps. You figure they must be looking for a different section — certainly not the one you’ve had to yourself all day — but then they turn the corner of the aisle and stop short when they find you sitting there.

“Oh,” a pretty girl hums as she stares down at you, rouge mouth forming a softly pouted ‘o’ shape. 

Her hair is a sandy color, like a beach, and it’s chopped at her shoulders. She wears a pair of slacks and suspenders over an oversized button-up. She looks like a character from a book you wish you could write. 

She smiles down at you, a tad bit awkwardly. “Hello…”

“Shit— ” you curse, scrambling to get your legs out of the aisle. Your face burns as you bring your knees back to your chest. “I’m sorry.”

“No worries,” she shrugs and walks on by you. 

A pretty boy follows.

His hair is a really specific shade of brown — like chocolate syrup mixed with honey. It’s pushed back over his forehead, messy with intention. A few strands hang over his thick brows like they’re meant to be there. He’s got a layer of scruff on his chiseled jaw that’s a shade lighter than his actual hair. 

His wide eyes are a similar chocolate-syrup-honey color.

He’s almost annoyingly pretty. The kind of pretty that seems unfair.

“Don’t apologize to her,” the pretty boy jokes with a lopsided smile. “She’s a total bully.”

The pretty girl interjects. “Don’t listen to him. He’s an idiot. And stop bothering her, dingus— she’s obviously trying to read.”

You breathe out an awkward laugh through your nose. 

You don’t want them to think you’re actually annoyed, but you don’t have the words to tell them that. You have no idea what to say to them, actually. They’re obviously far cooler than you are, and the notion almost threatens you.

The pretty boy doesn’t follow his pretty friend. He lets her roam the aisle, obviously in search of something, and leans against the gothic fiction section across from you.

“So, uh… What are you reading?” he asks.

You don’t trust your voice to answer him verbally, lest the words get stuck in your throat and make you sound like Kermit the Frog. You flash him the dystopic, renaissance painting-esque cover with a tightlipped smile.

“Handmaid’s Tale,” he reads with a squint, then nods. “Sounds fun.”

“It’s not,” the pretty girl scoffs. She thumbs through her own copy of the book that she plucked from the shelf. “It’s the one I was telling you about on the way over.”

The pretty boy’s face screws up in disgust. “Oh. The one with gross men?”

“The one with the gross men.”

He turns back to you, looking apologetic. “Sorry, I take it back. Not fun.”

You smile wordlessly in response.

“He’s Steve, by the way,” the pretty girl says to you, nodding to the pretty boy. “I figured if he’s gonna keep weirdly hovering over you, you should probably know his name—”

“I’m not hovering!”

“—You can call him dingus if you want. I’m Robin.”

“Hi,” you greet, quiet and mousy.

“Do you come around here often?” the boy — Steve — wonders, bushy brows pinched and burly arms crossed over his chest. “I feel like I’ve seen you before—”

“Ugh. Stop flirting with her.”

“I’m asking a question!”

You purse your lips to the side in attempts to hide your smile and your gaze back to your book. 

They argue like a married couple. You wonder how long they’ve been together — six months or six years?

“Sorry about him. He’s not usually this annoying,” Robin quips with a playful twinkle in her deep ocean eye. She slams the book closed with a ringed handand walks back towards you. She pushes Steve ahead and away from you in the process. “Alright, I got the goods. Let’s go before they close.”

Your eyes widen as you look down at your wrist. 

Ten minutes until eight o’clock. 

You turn to the book once more and find that you’re about a hundred pages shy from the end of it. You tend to read like a maniac if you’re focused enough, but there’s no way you’re finishing it before closing.

“Shit…”

“You okay?” Steve asks, still lingering at the very end of the aisle, though Robin has already left for check-out.

You rise and straighten out your clothes — the very un-special sweatshirt and baggy jeans duo you’d changed into after work. It’s not unlike the navy blue henley and similarly colored denim he’s got on, but you don’t look nearly as pretty as he does.

“Yeah,” you shrug, not quite meeting his gaze as you return the book that feels like it only fits in your hands. “I just— I didn’t realize how late it was.”

You don’t expect to see Steve looking so concerned when you turn back to him. His brows are furrowed, honey eyes glinting in question. “You’re not getting it? You looked like you were almost done.”

“Oh, I don’t— I can’t…” you stammer then trail off, fidgeting awkwardly ahead of him. 

You don’t want this pretty boy’s first impression of you to be that you’re completely and utterly broke. Even if this is the last you ever see of him, you’ll only be remembered as that one girl from the bookstore who couldn’t buy herself anything. 

“I figured I could just come buy tomorrow and finish it…”

“Oh. Okay. Well, it was… it was nice meeting you, then.”

“You, too,” you murmur with a tightlipped smile, eager to get away from a moment you don’t feel very deserving of. 

Out of every girl this pretty boy could’ve chosen, why did it have to be the one in the very back of the bookstore who was too poor to get anything other than a free coffee and bagel? 

You chuck both in the bin as you head towards the exit.

The sun has almost finished setting when you leave — mostly disappeared over the skyline, but painting the sky a deep lavender shade unique to the twilight hour. You stand at the crosswalk — the man on the speaker shouting “wait!” at your side — as you anticipate the orange hand across the street to turn into a white stick figure.

“I told you she’d still be here,” a familiar voice sounds from a few paces behind you, mostly drowned out by the sounds of passing cars. A louder “hey!” follows. You only think the voice might be calling for you until it comes closer. 

“Hey!” It comes again, louder now.

You look over your shoulder and find Steve from the Bookstore striding towards you. 

Both happy and confused to see him, your wavering smile is paired with a pair of furrowed brows. “Hey…”

“Sorry, you just— you left this.”

When your eyes manage to flit away from his sculpted face — which you just noticed looks eerily similar to Michelangelo’s David — you find that he’s holding a book in his hands. Handmaid’s Tale. The same copy you were reading, dog-eared just like you left it.

Your contorted features never falter. “I didn’t…” you trail off with the shake of your head, laughing softly. “I didn’t buy that.”

“No, I know,” Steve shrugs with a crooked grin. “I did.”

You think he might be implying he bought it for you, but then you realize that’s crazy, because why would he do that for you? That’s the sort of thing that happens to girls in Brontë novels, not to you.

“Youdid?” you echo like an idiot because it’s all you can think to say.

“Yeah. ‘Cause, you know, you looked pretty interested in it and everything…”

“But you didn’t have to… You didn’t have to buy it for me—”

“It’s not a big deal. Seriously. I mean, it’ll save you the extra trip down here tomorrow, right?”

You meet his confident grin with a trembling one. “I can’t take it…”

“Well, if you don’t take it, that means I have to keep it, and—”

“He’s pretty much illiterate,” Robin calls from a little ways behind him.

She’s waiting by a pretty maroon car. It looks like a luxury model of some kind, shiny like it’s fresh off the lot. She leans against it like it’s hers, but Steve’s got the keys in his hand — the one not holding the book he bought for you.

“…I was gonna say I haven’t read anything since junior year of high school, but sure,” he concedes with a shrug. His eyes sparkle down at you— or maybe it’s just the street lamps flickering on. Either way, you feel your stomach whirling. He waves the book at you. “Take it. You’ll actually read it.”

“But…” you trail off, eyes flickering over to Robin. You step closer to Steve and lean in like you’re about to tell him a secret. “Won’t your girlfriend be upset?”

“Girlfriend?” the boy repeats with pinched brows. He goes soft with realization a second later, then starts to laugh. “No. Robin, she’s— No. She’s not really my type.”

“Oh. Shit. Sorry,” you stammer with wide eyes. 

If cool, pretty girls aren’t his type, then there’s no way in hell you are. 

Slightly comforted by his assurances, when he motions the book to you again, you take it. 

“Well, thank you, Steve. That’s… That’s really nice.”

He shrugs again. “’S no big deal. Really.”

“But I feel a little bad,” you confess quietly, peeking at him from beneath your lashes while you fidget with the book in your anxious hands. “I feel like I should give you something in return, or, I don’t know, like—”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Steve assures with the shake of his head. He swipes a hand through the chocolate-honey locks and flashes you a smile that borders on shy. “But if you wanted to go out for coffee or something sometime, then I’d be willing to call it even.”

Your cheeks burn. You don’t know if you’re breathing anymore, or if you even can. A quiet smile quirks at the corner of your mouth as you nod. “Coffee sounds good,” you answer sheepishly.

“Cool,” Steve replies coolly, like he isn’t totally beaming down at you. “Then, just… call me whenever you’re free.”

“Oh, I don’t— I don’t have your number.”

His sneakers scuff against the sidewalk as he walks backwards to his car. He just nods at you, smiling gently as he argues, “Yeah, you do.”

Your brows furrow in confusion — because you most certainly don’t. He was a stranger to you a little more than ten minutes ago. You have no reason to have his number. 

Realization settles over you like pinpricks down your spine, butterflies in your belly. 

You open the front cover of the book and find several numbers written down at the very bottom of the cover page.

Call me when you finish, the note reads in half-legible chicken scratch. I’m not really a book guy, but I could probably hear you talk about them all day.

He signs off with his name, number, and a sloppy smiley face. 

You don’t realize you’re beaming until you already are. 

When you look back up at Steve, you find him standing at the open driver’s side door, already smiling back at you.

[iatecroisant]

TALK TO ME PLEASE!!!! i need someone to yap with...

Please I need to know if anyone out there has read the missing series and loves it as much as I do because I am crying and I need someone to understand

[sparkinajar]

Wow I can finally post this! This is a gift I worked on for a friend for christmas, fanart of the novel 'Little Thieves' by Margaret Owen (@what-eats-owls on Tumblr I believe)- I put all my other projects on hold to do it and I think it was really worth it!! I loved reading this book and drawing this piece, and I'm happy to share it.

[bunnyteetharry]

When you know, you know

summary: y/n was always scared to end up like her parents and harry changed that for her

warnings: none?

pairing: husband!arry x wife!reader

Inspo from this tiktok

————⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ —————⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ —————⋆ ˚｡⋆

Ever since she was younger

Y/n has always been afraid of who she will end up with at the end, she didn’t always think this way. It started when she suddenly started to wake up to screaming, or when one of her parents would set her aside and talk badly about the other.

Even before, she’s never seen them do something or say something nice about the other

You always questioned if they truly loved each other once upon a time or they just stayed to stay

Once her parents had gotten the divorce, that’s when the fear got worse, she wanted to love and be loved by someone like she read in the books

She wanted to feel how obsessed you can be with someone when you deeply love them

Not having to worry about the worse

It’s not she didn’t know that not every relationship if perfect from how she witnessed her parents relationship.

She just wished and hoped too much that it got in the way of finding someone

That’s until she met Harry

He was a breathe of fresh air, it was the first time she let go of her worries and just let things happen without a second thought

It’s cliche but, somehow she knew it was going to be him since their second date, but she wouldn’t dare to tell Harry that due to how inflamed his ego would get

But when it really, truly hit her, they had been together for 5 years and had just married

They were in the backyard with a group of their friends just hanging out and catching up with each other from the busy week

She was leaned over the outdoor bar talking with her longterm friend Gracie and her husband was sitting across from them with Harry in the middle of the year on the lounge chairs with others as well

They were talking about how they’ve never seen Harry drink or smoke or bitterly anything that came to his as an obsession

“So?” Michael itched on “So what?” Harry smiled as he took a sip of his water “What are you obsessed with then, there has to be something that you crave”

He thought for a second before smiling and pointing towards Y/n and said “The only thing I’ve ever been addicted to is that one right there”

At that moment y/n felt her chest fill, trying so hard not to tear up and pretend she didn’t hear him, Harry had always had a hard time expressing his feelings so him saying things like that, especially infant of people, brought her so much warmth inside.

Once everyone had gathered inside, they were the only two left

Margaret by Lana del Rey was playing softly in the background as they swayed slowly

“I love you” she whispered gently against his lips, he smiled and pulled her closer to him “Do you now” he rubbed his nose against her cheek “You’re annoying” y/n gently pushed him away before he pulled her back in “I love you more baby” he mumbled against her lips, kissing her softly.

a/n: sobbed for hours after watching that tiktok I had to write something about it, kinda based on me (ish), but anyways enjoy!

[girlintodust]

New intro post! You can find the old one here ♡

Welcome to my little special corner of the world, where I post pretty moodboards and reblog things I like (mainly involving pink and cute things) already 3 months with an active account and this girlblog is one of the few things that keep me sane, love you all.

✩ previously @anaghostprincessblog !

✩ asks and dms are always open ♡

✩ tysm for 2k+ !!

my posts are under #nini boards ♡ and #nini talks ♡

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝒜𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝑒 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

˖࣪ ໒꒱ 20 year old teenage girl, aries, bisexual, infp

˖࣪ ໒꒱ my birthday is April 2nd

˖࣪ ໒꒱ i'm a university student majoring in philosophy

˖࣪ ໒꒱ my first language is spanish, but i'm fluent in english and italian

˖࣪ ໒꒱ IMPORTANT: this blog is destined to all things i love which is a mixture of a couple different aesthetics. however, i migth use this account to vent sometimes: i suffer from an eating disorder, depression and anxiety. while i DO NOT encourage eating disorders by ANY means (this is NOT a pr0 an@ acc) i might talk about it or reblog things related, so please be advised. my dm's are always open to anyone who wants to talk, but i will not be giving advice or stats. i might also reblog or post +18 content.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝓂𝓎 𝒻𝒶𝓋𝑜𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

˖࣪ ໒꒱ books: the secret history (henry winter apologist), the solitude of prime numbers, to the light house and mrs dalloway by virginia woolf, anne frank's diary, kafka's metamorphosis (anything kafka really), the stranger by albert camus, jane eyre, wuthering heights, madame bovary, the bell jar, simone de beauvoir's memoirs of a dutiful daughter, alejandra pizarnik's diaries, prozac nation.

˖࣪ ໒꒱ movies/shows: crimson peak, pride and prejudice (2005), the grand budapest hotel, leon the professional, chungking express, all about lily chou-chou, howl's moving castle, the wind rises, marie antoinette, girl interrupted, edward scissorhands, alice in wonderland, the queens gambit, gilmore girls, criminal minds, modern family, fleabag, the last of us.

˖࣪ ໒꒱ music: lana del rey, fiona apple, jeff buckley, mitski, bôa, david bowie, ichiko aoba, her's, the smiths, plums, adrianne lenker, mazzy star, the cranberries, bruce springsteen, elliot smith, beach fossils, cafuné, radiohead, the cure, kate bush, the sundays, slowdive.

˖࣪ ໒꒱ people: matthew gray gubler, nana komatsu, sylvia plath, jane birkin, hope sandoval, jeff buckley, tim burton, humphrey bogart, audrey hepburn, gregory peck, keira knigthley, margaret qualley, kristine froseth, kirsten dunst, sofia coppola, anya taylor joy, elle fanning, pheobe tonkin, fiona apple, joel miller, aaron hotchner, spencer reid, theo james, pedro pascal, kate moss, franz kafka, vladimir nabokov, albert camus, tanya dziahileva.

[leidensygdom]

Despite how WOTC/Hasbro have sworn off using AI several times (and then got caught using it, like here or here), and then casually firing +1000 employees this year (many of them being artists), their CEO is predictably musing about how to incorporate it, and readily making use of the technology for some other products, and testing how it may be of use for DnD/MtG.

I had mentioned it was just a matter of time, and even when some people were very eager that WOTC would never, well. Who would've thought. It's the same company that showed again and again no respect for its audience, their creators or even the biggest fans. (The OGL mess was about a year ago. They sent the Pinkertons to a fan less than a year ago). Because delivering a quality product isn't really their goal, nor is it to actually compensate artists fairly.

I don't think this is breaking news, but I'm mostly bringing it up in case people wonder where they stand. They also have a poll where you can tell what you think about them (no actual written feedback, only "pick from these 5 options"). And as a final note Margaret Weiss (creator of the Dragonlance, who had some big disputes with them- Including a lawsuit towards WOTC) has come forward to tell how little WOTC has respected her series. Not long ago a book set in the setting (Fizban's Treasury of Dragons) got released, and it cared very little about being respectful towards the world or her work. Which tracks with their usual behaviour, because Eberron was also mangled quite badly.

Just, as a reminder, there's many wonderful TTRPGs that are far more worth to support monetarily, or even available to play for free. (Recently all of the PF2e remaster has been posted on Archives of Nethys- A page that has all the mechanics from all the books for free, which is endorsed by the company itself.)

But yeah. As a small creator and artist, it's surely lovely to see how much the biggest TTRPG company out there respects us.

[scioscribe]

The Great American Memoir

post-canon, Hawkeye & BJ

“I was walking past the bookstore, and I saw it in the window. I had to make the owner open up early so I could touch it and be sure it was real. I had to double-check the copyright page.”

BJ rubbed his eyes. “Hawk, it’s six AM here, and Erin had a sleepover last night. She and her friends decided to teach themselves how to play the piano with, of course, the corollary that practice would make perfect even at two in the morning. I’m tired, you woke me up, you woke Peg up, and I have no idea what you’re talking about. Call back later.”

“I shouldn’t have added to his royalties, but I couldn’t resist. To Serve Was Heaven: A Surgeon’s Story of Life at the Front Lines: A Memoir. Two colons. You know what that means it’s twice as full of.”

“Someone wrote a memoir.”

“Someone! Someone! Frank Burns, Beej, Ferret Face himself.”

Three girls banging away at “Chopsticks” in the small hours of the morning took an abrupt backseat in terms of importance. “Frank wrote a memoir? You’re sure?”

“I’m telling you, I’m holding it right here in my hands.”

“Okay. You were right to wake me up.”

Hawkeye crowed with laughter, and it was the kind of delight that BJ felt younger just listening to. He smiled, and there was a beat of silence where he felt like Hawkeye knew that—sometimes the world just lined up that way, at least for them, and it didn’t matter how many miles were between them.

“You’ll have to read it to me,” BJ said. “It’s bad enough that you put money in Frank’s pocket, I’m not giving him mine.”

“You think you could stop me from reading it to you? You’re destined to my dulcet tones in nightly phone calls until we get through all three hundred sixty-eight pages. Not counting footnotes.”

“Pictures?”

“No, no, nothing but maps.”

“Well, that makes sense.”

“Right. Everyone knows Frank can’t be photographed.”

“Like Dracula,” BJ agreed. “You know, never mind reading it to me. Bring it here. Maybe we could get a couple people together. Can you find someone to look after your practice for a week or two?”

“For this kind of reunion? I’ll bribe every doctor on the Eastern Seaboard. Well, except Charles. I’ll have to bring him with me.”

“You sure he’ll come? For a 4077 book club that didn’t exist until this morning? He never even met Frank.”

“Oh, he’ll come,” Hawkeye said.

“You know what that is, don’t you,” BJ said. “The confidence of an only child, someone who’s always been used to wrapping other people around their little finger.”

“That’s a horrible way to think about it. I don’t have the confidence of an only child, I have the confidence of a man with long eyelashes. I bat them and I get what I want because I’m so adorable.”

“A little ineffective over the phone.”

“Then I’ll see him in person! I’m telling you, he’ll say yes. And if he doesn’t, I’ll bring him in the trunk of my car.”

“You’re not flying?”

“Well, not if I have to kidnap Charles. He wouldn’t fit in my carry-on. Besides, we can’t do this without Margaret, and if I drive, I can pick her up on the way and save her the cost of a plane ticket.”

“And by that point, if they’re looking for whoever took Charles, they won’t be looking for a man and a woman. You’ll get through all the roadblocks. What about Trapper? We should at least get the whole Swamp complement—Frank by proxy—along with Margaret. Can’t really throw together a full reunion at such short notice, but at least with a smaller one I can offer up some spare bedrooms.”

“I’ll talk to Trapper.”

“You’ll bat your eyelashes.” BJ paused. He was running one finger along the telephone cord, in and out of the loops. “It’ll be good to see you.”

“Yeah.” Hawkeye’s voice was a little rougher now. “You too. Give my love to Peg and Erin, but hold a little of it back for yourself, okay?”

“I think I can do that.”

He went back to bed after that, spooning up against Peg’s back. She shifted a little, enough so she wouldn’t be talking into the pillow, and said, “Is everything all right with Hawkeye?”

“Fine. He sends his love. I’m sorry the phone woke you.” He stroked her shoulder. “What would you think about us hosting, say, Hawk and Margaret and Charles and Trapper? On the grounds that Frank wrote a book, so it’s a very special occasion.”

Peg rolled over. BJ stole Hawkeye’s tactic and batted his eyelashes at her.

“Frank Burns wrote a book,” she said.

“A memoir of his wartime experience.”

“Are you in it?”

“We can only hope.”

“My God,” Peg said. “I’ll make up the spare rooms.”

[sarcasticsweetlara]

If The World Ends We Go Together

Hunger Games au! District 7 Rebel! Jihoon x Female District 7 Rebel! Reader

Summary: Jihoon and you knew how to survive together, it was simple and steadfast, all throughout the years since your childhood to the harvest of tributes to the beginning of the Rebellion. You meant to keep it that way, even if it meant ignoring your feelings, but how long can it last as the dangers around you make you question how you could ever live without Jihoon?

Warning and Contents: Suspense, friends to lovers, both Jihoon and Reader think being in a relationship will put them in danger. Fluff. Reader is taller than Jihoon. Reader has aphasia (mutism due to damage to the brain language centers) and Jihoon and her communicate mostly through sign language. Jihoon with an axe; Bisexual! reader (if you are biphobic then dni), Reader with dark skin, appearances of Park Sunyoung of F(x) and Seokmin, Minghao and Seungkwan of SVT. Blood, non graphic flashback of a beating as a child, fights with guns and knives, hunting, Jihoon and reader hunt a bear together; burnings, almost drowning, and not accurate mention of CPR.

- xxx - oral dialogue

"xxx" sign language

*xxx* written notes

{xxx} flashback

Word count: 11,251

Image credit to: @vitaminkyeom

This is Part of the SVT CATCHING FIRE COLLABORATION

Playlist: Born to die - Lana del Rey; Ruby - Woozi; Cardigan - Taylor Swift; Snow on the beach - Taylor Swift; All my love - SVT; Dust - SVT Vocal Unit; What Kind of Future - Woozi; Die with a smile - Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars; Cinnamon Girl - Lana del Rey; Find you - Ruelle; War of Hearts - Ruelle; Margaret- Lana del Rey

MY MASTERLIST

You would never say you were a doctor. As much as you knew how to avoid certain herbs in case someone tried to poison you, how to brew concoctions and remedies, you could never truly diagnose someone.

That’s why at this moment, you were mad at Jihoon.

He had brought over to your shared home/office whose space could barely fit two people, a little girl whose bleeding left eye needed a specialist not a mere learning herbalist of medical plants.

- She needs the care Y/n, I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't sure you can handle it - while you were flattered by his words it also conveyed a little self-doubt given you barely knew how to keep people alive and how to heal some ailments, but you guessed you would have to act quick to help the poor child who did not deserve at all what happened to her.

And that’s how you found yourself going over the books you had stolen from a rebellious doctor killed by peacekeepers.

The book seemed to have more than 1000 pages and even if you were not an expert on how to treat eye ailings you really wanted to help her.

Finally you landed on the page you needed and tilting your head while turning to look at Jihoon you signaled for him to lay the girl on the small bed of your room that actually only fitted two persons so you had to move carefully to not startle her and not drop your herbs while you took your time analyzing the words to understand them better.

You put the bottles you were carrying on Jihoon’s hands and squeezed his hands turned fists to assure him of how important they were… and of course they were since inside of them were many ingredients essential for this specific concoction; sitting on your small desk you began chopping ingredients one by one signaling for Jihoon to put them back in place, then a while after giving your new patient a glass of water for her to drink as you put all of them together on a pot letting it boil with half a cup of water, adding on them a drop of another bottle you turned to look at the girl again but this time you saw the look on Jihoon’s face as well, he was staring at your little patient in an aloof way as if he was remembering something.

You couldn’t help but grimace. You knew what Jihoon was reminiscing, you woke him from his stupor touching his shoulder and indicating with a nod for him to take a seat by your side, as he sat, you moved to gently open her left eye and drop with a small dispenser two drops of the concoction you prepared.

"I'm here" Jihoon blinked and you made sure he looked at your eyes as you admonished him. "You are fine, I am fine" your hands were steady and your eyes never left his, your gazes were locked untilJihoon blinked again and sighed and let his head fall in the air.

"I know" he lifted his head as he signed "It's just" his hands were trembling "it's so unfair, she's only a child!" He signed quickly, which indicated how frustrated Jihoon felt.

"But you helped her" you squeezed his hands "she will be fine" Jihoon finally relaxed his posture and squeezed your hands back as he gave you a small smile. Jihoon didn't like touching people, but with you it was different, it always was.

It was fair to say that since meeting Jihoon and his father who worked as lumberjacks, your best friend Sunyoung and you were amazed by Jihoon's skills with the axe and soon the three of you became friends, while Sunyoung preferred to watch his axe skills and learn how to climb trees and create traps, and Jihoon knew how to defend himself with an axe you learned how to brew remedies.

It was hard for Sunyoung and you to read and be aware of your surroundings since at a young age you both had been beaten by a peacekeeper which ended up costing your abilities to speak and to keep balance and fully comprehend reading and writing, but soon Sunyoung and you learned how to ground yourselves through touching things, while Sunyoung always carried leave bracelets and anklets to ground herself by touching them you did the same but with a small chunk of wood. You would never admit it but it was one of the parts of the log Jihoon had once cut (also because you had fallen and spent a long while trying to get up as you felt you no longer had equilibrium).

You used it as a necklace and below your clothes, so that no one would try to take it from you.

"What do you think?" Sunyoung asked you as both of you were in her cozy room preparing to head out for work and Sunyoung was discarding what to wear that would not make the peacekeepers pay her any mind, right now she was wearing a new leather jacket she most likely had made for herself while you laid on her bed playing with her covers. As you pretended to ponder Sunyoung gave you a small pout which made you chuckle and in the end you gave her thumbs up in approval.

"It's good, you outdid yourself this time" Sunyoung grinned and with that you headed out towards the forest, you worked as part of the lumberjacking industry and helped move the wood logs to the factories. Since people older than 18 were no longer able to present as tributes, and therefore couldn't get more food according to how many times you wrote your name in the baskets, you had to work for Panem now to buy a little bit of food, though only the Capitol and the Privileged Districts truly ever got the gains of the labour.

Once you got to the forest you caught a glimpse of Jihoon as he was flexing his biceps to finish cutting a tree, before he could see your flustered expression you turned around to take the first logs to the factory as Sunyoung smirked at you teasingly while you rolled your eyes at her antics .

“Don't get lost admiring Jihoon’s muscles, focus on earnings money right now” she playfully moved her fingers “after all you can always see them when you two are together” that last statement which made you smack her arm as she cackled and your eyes popped up for her implication.

“Jihoon and I are just friends” you declared

“Best friends who want to kiss each other” Sunyoung attacked

“That's not true, and you better focus on your work if you want us to go back home without any punishments or beating” your hands were firm as you gestured with your eyes to the peacekeepers who were always eager to give punishments.” You warned her as the peacekeepers were looking at you

“Okay mom” she scoffed.

It was not as if you never fell asleep hoping to one day feel his lips on yours, of course not.

As you kept doing your part of the job: transporting piles of logs to the factory around 10 to 20 times per a day, you noticed the peacekeepers growing restless as they kept getting close to all the workers.

- I NEED YOU ALL TO LISTEN NOW! - One of the peacekeepers shouted when you were amid your 18th takeover making you still - There will be a curfew tonight, so when you are finished go back home immediately! There will be no considerations!- You looked around the area to catch Sunyoung but she beat you to it as she touched your elbow and then your shoulder.

"Don't worry about me, I will take the shortway, focus on going home soon". You wanted to argue and tell her you would take her but then her roommate Minghao approached you.

- It's okay Y/N, we will leave together, I won't leave her. -

Once you finished Jihoon and you got on his car to go back home and as soon as you arrived the two of you nodded, the agreement to bar everything and keep an eye on your weapons and the door, you held your revolver while Jihoon angled the rifle to fit between his toned arms... And wait, until the frequency in the radio finally changed. News about the Rebellion.

The rebels had found new ways to communicate indoors as protests and actions were done outside.

- We will mobilize from district to district- an off and cracky voice mumbled.

- You all need to keep this secret so listen carefully, start the journey towards District 13, grab maps to guide yourselves and take everything you need, but beware any peacekeeper, be as discreet as you can, District 13 will receive us as refugees, they have the power to end the Capitol from within, if we burn they will burn with us.-

Jihoon and you looked at each other, you would need to act carefully from now on.

The next day, as you were with Sunyoung you were tense, you felt as if the surveillance had increased by the amount of peacekeepers watching over you. There were 5 more than the usual 3. But even then, that didn't stop you from getting to quietly retreat further into the forest and find Sunyoung who was sitting in a wood log across Minghao, Jihoon and Seokmin. You waved at them and they returned it while Sunyoung acknowledged you with a nod as she turned to look at you.

"Did you listen to the radio last night? Many rebels are heading towards District 13 to join Katniss Everdeen" Sunyoung exclaimed. "We will need to leave in a few days - Seokmin looked around to see if there was someone close to you." The other day I heard a group of rebels who plan on making a trap to kill peacekeepers this week, it's risky but the distraction will buy us time to escape.

"It will" Sunyoung chuckled while grinning. "I helped creating it, it will give them a surprise in the mines"

"We can do this" Minghao signed, expanding his hands widely. "but we need to be discreet and gather everything we can, as soon as possible."

"I say we do this in a week, that will give us time once the trap is set."

"What do you think of this Jihoon?" You walked towards him to touch him with a wood stick as Jihoon looked at his shoes while leaning against a tree, he lifted his gaze to meet yours holding his head high to look at you and then sigh.

"We need to bring weapons with us “

...

As you had promised it, a week later the journey towards District 13 was set off. You were going to take different routes, Seokmin, Sunyoung and Minghao went together, with Jihoon and you then following 2 days after. It had been decided like that so you could cover for them in your shifts and deviate attention.

"Take care" were the last words Sunyoung said to you after hugging you tightly and leaving in the dawn.

After the trap set in the mine lands peacekeepers were less than before and that was an advantage and Jihoon and you started the journey then. However the already set beginning was delayed when the peacekeepers saw Jihoon getting into the forest when he wanted to get rid of the traps and beat him up, taking him to jail, he was only able to communicate with you by using the radio he always hid in his jacket.

-Y/n, in short words I'm in prison, they caught me when I was trying to destroy the traps, I need you to get me out of here. - when you listened to his words back at home you were horrified, remembering how creative the peacekeepers could get when it came to punishing citizens.

So here you were, sneaking into their District prison at night one week after he had been captured, wanting to memorize the place and know its weak points. You had managed to get in through a cord and a window and slithered until you saw the back of a peacekeeper. Slowly you got close to him and hit his head with a baseball bat, after taking his gun and his keys you looked for Jihoon, not minding the whistles from the other prisoners and when you saw his hair your waved your hand that was carrying the keys to him making him aware you were here for him. After opening his cell and hugging him you two went back home where you were attending to his wounds. As he hissed when you were cleaning a cut in his cheek you felt a little dizzy so you had to exhale and touch the edge on the little raspy gray sofa you were on to calm yourself.

“Sorry”

“Don't be sorry, I would still do it” Jihoon refused “if anything I'm sorry for worrying you.” he apologized

“Don't say that, I actually liked getting to hit a peacekeeper and taking his gun.” You chuckled at the sweet memory earning a laugh from Jihoon as well.

“You know with me escaping they will be looking for us, right?” he asked after some minutes but you two already knew the answer.

“Then we have to get everything ready for tomorrow.”

And that is how the next day you two sneaked through a barb wire border to avoid being seen by the peacekeepers. You were carrying a map and a dagger in your backpack alongside other tools, like binoculars, books, needles and lighters, while you were no warrior you knew a stab could be lethal and with Jihoon's guiding you at least knew how to hurt someone who tried to harm you, and he was carrying an axe alongside the gun you had stolen. Which was useful when you used one of the bombs Minghao designed to get rid of the peacekeepers of the border of the district.

The rebellion had started as all of you had seen how Katniss Everdeen had won the 74th Hunger Games alongside Peeta Mellark and displayed an attitude and compassion that soon became the symbol of resistance: Hope, in the form of the mockingbird.

The rebels had begun communicating through radios and in one moment, District 13 was able to communicate back and give instructions on what to do to defeat and overthrow Snow as well as indications about what to expect before the coup could be started.

Both Jihoon and you admired Katniss, after having to bury your last relatives due to starvation and the abuse of the peacekeepers, he was all you had left, and you wanted to protect him as much as possible. Even if you sometimes disagreed it was worth it as Jihoon had become your rock after all the years you spent together.

"Here you go" Jihoon gave you a piece of meat he had brought after hunting and you set a fire to heat yourselves as the autumn was starting to fade into winter. "It's deer meat, I hunted it, you should have seen me" He said with a smug smile.

"Show-off" you chuckled as you munched it and he laughed.

"Did you bring your concoctions?"

"Of course I did," you scoffed. "How else are we going to survive? I also brought my books in any case"

"That's good"

As you got up, you got dizzy and almost fell but you touched your shins with a hand while your dominant one went for the leaf necklace, tapping it three times to regain balance. Jihoon slowly showed you his hand, when you recovered you lifted your gaze and thanked him as he finally reached out for your hand and laid the dagger on your palm, squeezing your other hand which made you fluster but you hoped it would not be obvious with the little light of the sun in that moment that your cheeks had a garnet tone now as you lowered your gaze and walked hastily past Jihoon while he set the fire off and you continued marching.

As what you thought were 2 weeks passed you could conclude that the sky view was beautiful, getting to see the blue sky and the high mountains with no stop was a blessing and Jihoon and you frequently ended up admiring it, back home no one had the time and even less the idea of looking up to the sky, and even if the circumstances were not the best, you loved sharing these moments with Jihoon as you also admired his profile during the afternoons.

"How do you think the others are?" He asked you one night as you both stared into the fire lit in front of your mini camp.

"I hope they are okay, though probably Seokmin and Sunyoung must be talking a lot for Minghao" you said giggling at the thought of the two golden retrievers talking non-stop. Jihoon laughed and smiled at you as you settled into a quiet atmosphere, the flames were the only sound in the forest, letting you see the crisps in the air which made Jihoon's skin shine and in Jihoon's mind it made your russet skin glow as well.

You never admitted it since you were always focused on protecting the both of you, but you harbored feelings for Jihoon, it was love, which made you even more alert to any risks. You never thought about the possibility but the fact you two were doing this journey together made you realize even more how much you wanted to protect Jihoon.

“The sky looks beautiful this evening” Jihoon’s fingers emulated an explosion at his statement and it was true, it was a combination of orange, red and pink, secretly he thought that the colors in the sky made you look like an angel but that was a thought for himself as the red tones in the air and the forest gave you an air of a fairy in his mind.

“It is” you agreed, looking above as well and then your gaze shifted to look at him.

"Have you thought about what we will do when we get to District 13 Hoon?" You asked him with shaking hands hoping he doesn't see how you've suddenly gotten nervous.

"I guess" His fingers get fidgety "We can finally join the Rebellion and fight against Snow." You mentally palmed yourself at his answer, though you agreed with the plan, you meant what would happen with your lives after that.

"Yes, but what else will we do once everything is done?" Your eyes are focused on his. "We can get to live freely" He says after a while. "We could build a new house and have all the things we always wanted" you gestured quickly. "Create the garden you wanted and plant new kinds of plants." Your heart is beating fast as you look at him and gulp. "That would be nice" he says calmly as you keep staring at each other.

"We could still keep our weapons, just in any case" he chuckles, his eyes still on you. "Of course we can"

"And ... " He pauses, his lips trembling "get a new fresh start"

"You are right, for you and I" you wrapped up as you got closer to the fire to get more heat for your hands.

...

Three more weeks passed as you traveled when you came across a river whose current waters were flowing swiftly and gushingly fast in what seemed to be the border with District 9, and you had to think about how to cross it without damaging the radio Jihoon was carrying.

"You could keep your backpack and jacket above the water and in any case it gets wet then we put it into rice" you stated which made Jihoon hesitantly agree.

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh

"Ready?" Jihoon asked as you both were about to dive into the cold water.

"Readier than ever" and then you jumped, the water splashing on the surface and then Jihoon jumped as well.

‘Splash! Splash!’

The current was strong, you could not deny it, and it was hard to advance but you could not give up just now, as you kept yourself floating on the backpack you turned to look at Jihoon who was focused on his own task and then noticed the zipper of his jacket on the backpack that contained the radio was open and you lowered your head to see that indeed the radio was flowing down the river, which made you discard your own backpack to dive further into the water to retrieve it.

Swimming below water was not easier either, but you had to try and were close to catching it but as soon as you got it in your hand pulling it close to your chest you let out a breath which made you swallow water prompting you to cough and sink more into the water, you tried to swim above but your strength failed you and you could feel more air leaving you; you cursed yourself for failing Jihoon and not being able to keep going and were closing your eyes when a gush of water came in your direction. Jihoon. He had stopped swimming when your backpack collided against him prompting him to look for you and then realize his jacket was open and the radio was missing.

As soon as he spotted you he grabbed you from your shirt and impulsing himself with strength but care as he swam the both of you above the water and towards your backpacks, tying them tightly to support your weight upon them closing the jacket zipper, your limbs were longer than his which made him keep a distance to not end up drowning the two of you; once you were finally on the other side and finally on the District 9, dragging you to lay on the soil he made pressure on your chest to make first aid and expel the water from your lungs, as well as doing mouth to mouth resuscitation which he was not sure about but thought maybe could help.

Jihoon sighed in relief when he saw your chest rising up but frowned when he saw your lips and nails were turning gray, and he then remembered that was a sign of hypothermia from what you had told him once, so he was quick to pull you out of your cold damp clothes and covering your body with blankets after he started a fire to keep you warm. Jihoon would not let you leave him, he would protect you.

As Jihoon pulled your clothes from you he turned around to respect your privacy and tried to do it as quickly as possible to then place you in the two warm blankets. The newly begun fire was warm enough for now but then he would need to go for more logs. Good idea to bring his axe. However, he wanted to make sure at first that you were okay as you had fallen unconscious after being able to breathe. While sleeping you looked peaceful, from your parted lips to your eyelashes and garnet cheeks and the glow of your russet skin. Admitting to himself that he was in love with you was already hard enough, Jihoon didn't want to lose more people he cared about after his dad had been murdered by peacekeepers for daring work when there had been a curfew years ago; you were the only thing he had left and didn't want to lose you over feelings he was not sure would truly work out in a relationship and then you two drifting apart and dying away from each other.

No, Jihoon was completely fine with denying his feelings if that meant you two stayed together alive.

...

{Jihoon and you had met when you were both kids, you were 7 and he was 5, and it seems your very first encounter had already determined what your future dynamic would be.

You had stolen a slice of bread from one of the peacekeepers who had actually taken it from your friend Sunyoung and had hit her in the head leaving her unconscious for a week and from thereafter mute.

Your plan was simple, you wanted to distract him by sending a dog to chase him while you took the bread. But you never counted with him coming back so quickly, in your defense you would say the 7 year-old you barely knew about the running time of an adult thus you were surprised when he yanked you by your hair to the floor before you could even truly go away, at the end of the day you learned how he had left Sunyoung unconscious as he hit you with a metal tube over and over again.

Sunyoung and you gained more scars for life and you knew you had to always check every detail now. It was during your unconscious days that Jihhon came into your life. Jihoon and his father worked as lumberjacks and he usually sold log charges to people, and when he gave a charge to your father he saw the state you were in, all sprawled over your bed in the living room, seeing you like that stirred something in Jihoon's heart and that led him to teach your dad how to place the logs in a way the fire would keep itself and draw heat towards your sleeping silhouette; that had been the same advice he had given to the family of Sunyoung before, when her parents had told you about the kind boy who helped keep Sunyoung warm during her most vulnerable moments had melted your heart, just like Jihoon did when your parents told him why it was you now who was unconscious.

When a month passed after you woke up and Sunyoung was visiting you with her parents, Sunyoung and you were seated resting and when your mother called your name you noticed there were 2 people with her, she told you Jihoon was the lumberjack who helped both of you to survive your unconscious slumbers each one, when Jihoon tried to give you a writing of his working technique he frowned at seeing neither Sunyoung nor you were truly reading, to you it was like the letters were there but could not actually make any sense of it, therefore Jihoon opted for teaching you through watching.

- This is what you have to do -Jihoon said while placing a log of wood on the grass of the yard of your house, as he tilted his head he looked at Sunyoung and you.

- You might need to step aside - as Sunyoung and you looked at each other you did as he told you.

CHOP

The wood log was now split in two logs, they had cuts on the edges from where Jihoon cut it, your eyes were widened in surprise, you had never seen something similar, and to you it was the coolest did ever which made you give Jihoon the widest smile you could master making him smile in the process as well.

Since that day Jihoon and you became friends and made the promise you would always keep each other safe, which eventually made the two of you develop feelings for one another.}

‘Crack crack crack’

The sound of a fire aroused you from your sleep and made you shift your weight on your left side, making you groan when you could no longer fall asleep and reluctantly open your eyes slowly, frowning when you saw the night sky and the forest and hear owls tweeting, you turned your head to the right side and then saw Jihoon asleep on his own mattress across the fire, as well as the radio put in a rice cup and your clothes drying themselves in the branches of some tree which startled you once you became completely self-aware at the realization you were only covered by a blanket and that must likely Jihoon had to do it, which then made you cover your face with the covers. Great. Now how would you look him in the eyes after this?

If Sunyoung was here she would never let you live it down by teasing you. You thanked whatever deity was up there for at least sparing you that shame.

But not enough since the deed was already done. What bothered you was the fact of how embarrassing the situation was and that you nearly could have put Jihoon at risk, it was not like you weren't grateful but you just wished the circumstances for you lying like this had not affected him.

A shiver in your back interrupted your thoughts though making you hold the blanket tighter and then you saw how there was a gray tone to your nails, you then realized Jihoon had acted quickly to keep you warm. You cheesily thought it worked as more warmth settled on your chest then. He really took care of you.

You really were lucky to be here with him, and with that new warmth on your chest you fell asleep again.

Once the dawn broke you felt a hand stroking your right cheek making you drowsily open your eyes as Jihoon's warm fingers quickly left your skin.

"Sorry" he fidgeted and quickly drifted his stare away making you chuckle.

“It's okay” you stretched a little and then remembered you needed to put new clothes on and moved your hand through the soil beneath you to catch his attention and when he did you gestured for him to pass new clothes to you.

“Yeah, sorry, I will turn around so you can change”

As a headache was beginning to form you focused on the tweeting of the birds and how the wind felt against your hair and skin while putting your clothes on, once you finished you got out of the blankets and finally stretched all your limbs which had been a little numb in the end groaning as your kneecaps rattled.

As you walked towards your wet clothes Jihoon turned around and grabbed your wrist earning himself a questioning glare from you down to his face as you felt his warm skin against your cold one and he picked up your fingers extending them enough so you could see your nails still were gray. You had hypothermia.

“We can not leave yet, you need to get warm enough to recover”

You tried to protest but Jihoon lifted a hand making you stop.

“You almost drowned and I had to resuscitate you so you could breathe so if I say we need to wait for you to recover then we do it.” He declared and above his deep stare you felt yourself complying, even if you did not want to admit it. And he felt the need to make you understand because he had been so scared, you almost died leaving him alone and that was an experience he did not want to repeat.

“But what will we do then? Our arrival will be late, our friends are waiting for us.” you exclaimed.

“That doesn't matter” he rebuked “You need to be healthy and I will not risk it” it was then that you knew Jihoon was being serious. “We will stay here until you are healthy enough”

Easier said than done.

While Jihoon could use your books to look at the plants and see the instructions on how to prepare remedies he was not an expert at cooking but during 3 weeks he did what he could which you thanked him for as he made the efforts to do this for you.

“Hoon” you signed the shortened version of his sign “I think we could try to keep going, I've gotten better” which was true, your nails and lips were no longer grey “we can keep marching and in any case stop to see a doctor in District 9.”

“I'm not sure y/n” he rebuked

“But I am sure Jihoon” you insisted, “we could find some more herbs, the entire district is big enough to hide and take care of ourselves” you pleaded looking into his eyes that it was fine and that you desperately needed to keep going. Shutting his eyes and exhaling Jihoon finally gave in and let himself fall into your arms and as you rubbed his back you deepened the embrace not wanting to let go of him.

“Okay, but I’ll let you know if something goes wrong then I will say I told you so” he scoffed as you grinned at him. Jihoon may not admit it but he loved watching you smile, maybe that's why Seokmin and Minghao always pointed at him when you did it.

And that's how you two started marching again in search of wheat, edible fruits and somewhere to stay while you measured the unguarded areas of the District.

“I think we can get to sleep in an abandoned house, what do you think?” You inquired

“That is if we ever get to find an abandoned house first, we need to simply find an abandoned alley” was his answer which made you roll your eyes.

You walked and walked, only stopping to pick some fruits “you never know, Hoon” you told him when he stared at you questioningly.

And you kept leading the way, it was not that boring, actually it was nice to look at the sky and walk side by side in silence and admire how the sunlight made the trees look redder and more abundant.

“The sunset looks beautiful, don't you think? You exclaimed with your back in front of him, and Jihoon held his breath, he couldn't see your face but looking at how your figure was embraced by the light and the breeze made his face heat. An adorable view, even more adorable when you turned to look at him.

“Yes, it looks beautiful” he signed quickly at you. Your eyes were connected and you could feel like you were drowning in his chocolate eyes, feeling as if they took the air from you.

“It is” you straightened your relaxed position “for the meanwhile we can start another fire to sleep here” it was an abrupt change of topic but you needed it.

“Sure” Jihoon answered, scolding himself for blurting out like that.

…

The next day after Jihoon slept on Heejin's couch and you on the floor, you inspected the map to guide yourselves in where to go now as you were eating breakfast on the table.

-You should go northeast - Heejin's voice woke you up from your focused state making Jihoon and you looked at her as she walked down the hall, she had seen you from the end of the hall struggling to understand the map while Jihoon rubbed your back and gave you water.

-If you are going to District 6 then you should march to the northeast, it's the least watched part of this District - She mentioned

-How can we be sure?- was Jihoon’s answer-question which made you frown at him.

-Just like I was sure I would trust you to stay with me, also, I have friends there who could house you, it's a green colored house with an apothecary, it's in a mountain next to a river, you would be arriving there in 2 weeks - Jihoon had to admit that was a good answer.

In the end Jihoon and you agreed to listen to her and started marching.

“She was cute” you told him once you spent 1 hour walking

“I think she was average” Jihoon quickly signed, dismissing your flattering of the woman.

“Okay, I guess we all have different opinions, but don't worry, you are handsomer than her if that's what worries you.” You chuckled as you saw Jihoon’s arms flexing as he stopped for a while to tie his backpack tighter, but at your words Jihoon suffered a shortcut at you thinking he was handsome. Jihoon knew he was an attractive guy but seeing you think the same hit harder than ever before.

You turned around when you saw he was not walking next to you, finding he was looking at you perplexed.

“I mean” you nervously shifted “you don't need to compare yourself to anyone, and trust me when I say you are handsome not only because I'm your friend but also because you are very handsome, stunning and strong” you felt you were digging your own grave as you just rambled in front of him hiding your face with your hands, uncovering it when you heard Jihoon's steps and semi-lifting your head.

-Thank you, you are kind y/n and I do believe you.”

At his words you gave him a small smile and hugged him, as his tiny frame was wrapped by your arms he felt himself smiling as well by how affectionate you were and the fact he loved having all your attention for himself.

When you separated from him you quickly composed yourself.

“Sorry, but also thank you for everything Jihoon, like saving me from drowning and having taken care of me.” you looked at your shoes.

“It's okay, I would do it again if I had to.” Jihoon would always make you swoon more than anyone else.

As the days passed you finally found yourselves in front of the house of Seungkwan, Heejin's friend.

Though Seungkwan was not amused with the idea of sharing his house.

-I'm not into sharing my things so keep your hands to yourselves and follow my rules: 1. You eat when I cook 2. You will share the guest room 3. You will help me with my plants while you stay here, that's the only way you will get wheat to survive once you leave. - even though it didn't amuse you either to follow so many rules you knew you had to follow them if you wanted somewhere to sleep plus food.

“Don't worry, it'll be over before we notice” Jihoon tried to comfort you when Seungkwan went back to his apothecary he noticed your distress over having to stay for more time than you anticipated at first but it was necessary if you wanted to survive the winter so you would stay here for at least 1 to 2 weeks.

“It’s okay, I guess this is a chance for me to learn how to harvest, right?” You mentioned, trying to lighten up the mood.

Entering Seungkwan’s apothecary was nice, there were so many kinds of plants, drawings and concoctions in his shelves, and many plant books in his battered table.

-What are you doing here?- you got startled at the sudden voice of Seungkwan but quickly grabbed your notebook to respond to him.

*I'm sorry, I just was curious about your apothecary.*

-Well go be curious somewhere else unless you seriously like apothecary- his words were blunt and dry but you beamed shrugging at the last statement.

-Do you really like plants?- Seungkwan questioned in surprise and you nodded with a smile.

-Ok then you can observe - Seungkwan hummed - but don't touch anything.- He warned.

-I won't - you typed down and resumed your activity of trying to identify the different kinds of plants around you, and tilting your head you tried to focus on the words on the book to comprehend what it said about harvesting and health. You truly would learn how to harvest now.

2 days later Seungkwan let you borrow one of his books and sows after pleading for hours with the condition of returning the book once you were done.

…

Spinach, radish and carrots were aplenty in his greenhouse, and if Seungkwan was going to give you some of his harvest to survive then Jihoon and you would return the favor by helping him harvest more, and of course you would take this opportunity to learn more about harvest and make concoctions.

-Remind me to always travel with you from now on- Jihoon whispered amazed at how many pots you had already sowed.(5 which in your opinion was low).

“No, this is nothing.” You replied unsure

-Are you kidding me?- He blurted out -this is awesome! You do have a green thumb y/n- simple flattery.

-He’s right- now it was Seungkwan too -you are doing well, your boyfriend is only telling the truth- Boyfriend? Did Seungkwan think Jihoon and you were dating?

-What?- Seungkwan asked when he saw how the two of you froze in your tracks -I thought you two were a couple, aren't you?- he arched an eyebrow

Why couldn't you answer? It was simple, you were not a couple, just friends.

-Well then, you two are just very close friends, never mind- and with that Seungkwan focused on his other pots to your left.

-So, uh, - Jihoon cleared his throat “This is a good job” He told you even though his eyes were not meeting your eyes.

“Thanks Hoon” you also didn't meet his eyes.

As more days passed you could slowly see the growing of the plants which delighted you, and in turn delighted Jihoon too.

Seungkwan was perceptive about your bond being a really close one, if it was one way or another he was happy for the two of you.

Later on after you ate dinner Jihoon and you were out in the forest hunting, as winter got nearer every day you would need coats to endure the cold weather.

“Hunting down a bear will be enough” you were nervous about doing this, but you needed to do this and Jihoon was here so you had faith he knew what to do.

Jihoon was crouching on the ground where he set a trap with goose meat and fish.

-Alright, this will attract them.- He stood up and walked further from the trap with your gun in his hands.

An hour passed before Jihoon and you heard a growl in the distance which made you both tense in awareness, and then the bear slowly got close as he smelled the goose and fish (Jihoon identified the bear as a male) and grunted, however he soon felt something was off as he lifted a big paw and growled once again coming close to where Jihoon and you were standing, Jihoon was ready to shoot if it came to it signaling for you to move away so you would not get hurt, but then the bear lifted himself in his rear paws and his growl made Jihoon slip and dropping the gun which alerted the bear eliciting more grunts and growls as he put his paws back on the soil and ran towards him but you whistled calling his attention and waving to him as you ran further from him making snarl and growl at you giving Jihoon time to take the gun and stand up once again shooting the bear in the back before he had the chance to attack you, however the blood still got to splash on your clothes which left you shocked staring at Jihoon.

-Do not ever do that again- He scolded you as you only could breathe out your relief.

Back at Seungkwan's house you received another lecture to both of you. To Jihoon for not paying attention to where his feet were standing, and to you for having been so reckless in drawing a bear’s attention towards you.

“I'm sorry but back at the moment I didn't know what else to do” you rambled and Jihoon was the one to translate to Seungkwan as you were in front of Seungkwan's house with the body of the bear.

-Be more careful next time, I don't want the death of 2 people in my subconscious. - Seungkwan bemoaned as he saw you two skinning the bear making him gag in disgust.

-Do not worry, if it ever happens again when we are with you we will be more careful then - Jihoon blurted out.

-Thank you, now don't make me regret having you guys here- Seungkwan mumbled as he entered his house to sleep the thought of your hand skinning the bear away.

That night after you went to sleep the events that occured that evening did not leave you alone, images of the bear getting to and slashing at Jihoon did not sleep at all, prompting you to wake up after you dreamt with the bear. From your position on the floor you saw Jihoon sleeping, and you sighed at seeing he was okay, he was still alive. You knew Jihoon was skilled in shooting but the experience of this day of seeing him face such a beast had shakened you but it seemed he was okay.

However Jihoon was not okay, he stirred in his sleep and woke up when he could not forget the memories of you putting yourself in danger to save him, he had hunted plenty of times before but this time he got so worried about you getting hurt that he did not fully register where his feet stood nor checked if the material was secured enough, and as he woke up he noticed you were up as well and sighed waving at you and you let out a breath you were holding.

“I'm glad you are okay” Jihoon said

“Me too, I will never doubt your skill with a gun ever again” You replied

“Wait, did you ever doubt me?” He questioned your reply, astonished.

“No” you quickly reassured him “but today made me see you can handle anything. I just got worried, but I'm glad we got to hunt today” Jihoon chuckled and you did as well.

“We make a good team, you can not deny it”

“True” Jihoon acknowledged it “let's just plan out any scenarios from now on, don't you think?”

“Yeah” You breathed out, taking in his face, you leaned your body towards him and Jihoon cupped your face, and in a matter of seconds his soft lips were on yours, you were breathing into each other and your lips engaged in a chase for each other, Jihoon gave you repeated small pecks and you caressed his cheeks. When you pulled away you stared into his eyes and smiled at him which he returned.

The next day however, Jihoon and you were happily pretending the kiss never happened, and were acting as if it was any other day and in a silent agreement you would never talk about it again dismissing it as a result of the adrenaline of the day. It was not because of feelings.

As the days passed soon Jihoon and you had gathered everything you needed to keep going, which meant it was time to say goodbye to Seungkwan.

-Thank you for receiving us and having left us sow plants to compensate for what we took from you- Jihoon was translating for you to Seungkwan as you thanked him for everything he had done for you these days. -Oh, and also thank you for not kicking us out after you saw us skin a bear- Jihoon snickered as Seungkwan scoffed.

-I’m still traumatized, you two owe me therapy, you know- Seungkwan whined but even then he could not hide his smile -Also, of you two are going where I think you're going then take this- he took from his pocket a mockingbird pendant handing it over to you - you are gonna need it- you couldn't say you were surprised Seungkwan was part of the Rebellion and that you two were part of it as well, clenching your fist you put it into your backpack, its meaning bigger than you could ever know about.

-Wait but- Jihoon grimaced - do you not want to come with us? - He questioned

-I have a duty to protect my parents’ house and my District, I do not judge you but my fight is here- Seungkwan answered and his answer made sense, he needed to protect his home.

-Either way, thanks for everything Seungkwan, it was a pleasure- Jihoon sincerely thanked him.

-It was an honor to have you here, minus the bear of course - you would miss his sass.

…

Jihoon and you had advanced enough now to get close to the train station of District 9 which transported wheat to the center of District 6. The plan was simple: you would have to jump to the train while it was moving.

Its reigns were moving quickly as the smoke of its motors flowed through the air.

“I go first” you commanded. Running backwards and then forward to gain impulse to then jump, your backpack softening your fall in the empty wagon. “NOW YOU!” You expanded your palms in the air quickly for Jihoon to do it now who was running and at your command he leaned into the side running and jumping towards you, his legs thudded as he fell, breathing hard but then relaxed letting his body rest besides you.

As the train moves, Jihoon and you opt to stay in silence and enjoy the rest from all those stressful days, aware you need to let off part of the pressure you’ve been feeling.

Jihoon and you were laying next to each other, his head resting on your shoulder as he slept and you looked at the view and his face, smiling at how peaceful he looked right now.

…

As the days passed, Jihoon and you were finally in District 6.

Now you would have to remain low, not drawing any attention towards you, so Jihoon and you were using hoods to hide your faces.

Unlike District 9, you would have to remain away from the people as there were so many factories that were guarded by peacekeepers, thus, you needed to lay low to survive while you were here and bought water, seeds, batteries, knives and two tents to sleep in with the little money you had and then go to the forest to sleep there.

“I have an idea” Jihoon informed you that evening while you two ate dinner in front of the fire. “One of us can sleep while the other one watches if a peacekeeper is close.” It was a great idea, since that way you could take care of him and vice versa while the other one watched over your little camp.

When your second turn of watching over the camp happened it seemed mostly calm, until you heard the snapping of branches in the distance, as well as circumference cuts in your radio.

‘SNAP SNAP’

You quickly turned around trying to make the minimum sound possible looking at all sides of the forest, turning off the radio and hiding it under a bush, and taking your dagger and two knives with you, the gun would make a lot of noise, as you saw from if Jihoon's tent was open you quietly sighed after seeing it was closed, and you got further into the forest trying to see where the sound was coming from.

‘SQUEAK SQUEAK’

Now you heard and saw some squirrels running around, and they rarely did so during winter. There was definitely someone else in the forest. You crouched trying to look where they were with the binoculars you were carrying. To your far right side you saw three peacekeepers, you looked at Jihoon's tent again and you knew you had to distract them from getting to him.

Quietly you went to where the fire was lit and grabbed a log, hissing in pain when the heat burned you but still kept it in your hand, leaving cinders fall when you were more into the forest thus drawing the attention away from Jihoon, once you were away enough, you whistled and hummed the mockingbird song and drumming in a tree to then move next to another one and do the same again and again; it took less than ten minutes for you to hear the sound of a gun.

‘CLICK’

Holding your breath and using your binoculars you attacked him, launching your dagger at his throat, the sound of the slash spreading through the air, treading carefully you took your bloodied dagger from his throat and his gun as well draping it around your shoulder, going for the next two.

…

‘SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK’

Jihoon shifted his weight on his mattress

‘SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK'

‘HOO HOO’

Jihoon stirred over his covers until he sat after having his precious sleep disturbed and rubbing his eyes as he got out of his tent, growing alarmed as he saw you were not there. Sure, as it was your turn watching over the camp you would have to walk around but he saw that the radio was flipped over a bush and turned off. Worried, Jihoon took his axe and tried to follow for any hint you might have left behind.

Indeed you did after he saw footprints in a corner to his left, but getting close to them he saw the size and width of the footprints were not similar to yours at all and when he turned around he saw a peacekeeper pointing his gun at him. And then he shot but Jihoon moved quickly running and hiding behind a tree. Breathing and gaining courage Jihoon screamed to his right side

-AAAGH!!!-

But Jihoon actually moved to the left and threw his axe aiming at a forest hoping to scare the peacekeeper, which he did and when he turned around Jihoon took his axe back and pressed it into the head of the peacekeeper. Jihoon breathed hard as he removed his axe and from the peacekeeper’s head and groaned when a little bit of his blood fell over his shoes. Great, Jihoon would have to wash them now. But now you were on his mind, Jihoon needed to find you, and with that thought he turned to his left side to keep looking for you.

…

The heat of the log was still burdensome and you feared the fire would eventually burn your head but you tried to ignore it as you were looking for the other two peacekeepers, your binoculars helping you see in the darkness, as you lowered your head you saw a liquid body on the soil, crouching to touch it you felt the iron smell that was now on your index and medium fingers: blood.

Looking ahead for a body you found a dead peacekeeper with a nasty wound on the head but as you looked at the edges you saw that it must have been the result of an axe. Which meant Jihoon killed him.

…

Jihoon got tackled to the ground as a peacekeeper had found him on his way to a nearby river hoping to find you. Jihoon had caught the peacekeeper off guard kicking him on the shin and was able to elbow him and take his gun, but his foil had grabbed him from his knees and tackled him and in the struggle Jihoon let go of his axe; smart move, Jihoon would have to give him that, but at least Jihoon was able to throw the gun into the frozen river, cracking the ice and falling into the water which made the peacekeeper yell at Jihoon in rage.

-AAAHH!!- And he then overpowered Jihoon grabbing his neck and squeezing it with astounding strength making Jihoon choke, feeling his vision go blurry but then a slash cut through the air landing in the side of the torso of the peacekeeper making him scream in pain. Jihoon then saw how the peacekeeper launch himself at you, making you let go of a gun and a lit log, but you responded by taking the log with your bare hands and pressing it into the peacekeeper's chest, rolling him over to the ground, though even then the peacekeeper was able to kick you in the stomach but you were also able to stab him with a knives in his shoulder blade.

As you were fighting Jihoon got up and with the strength he could master went for his axe and plunged it into the peacekeeper's back and then lifted him him up dropping him off into the ground and plunged the axe again into his head, his blood splashing into both Jihoon’s face and your face.

Letting go of his axe, Jihoon helped you get up and you covered his frame with his arms, embracing and smelling his hair and you tried to both explain and apologize for the situation.

“There were three of them, I'm so sorry Hoon, I should have been more aware” you sobbed but Jihoon shook his head. “No, no, don't apologize, we are fine now okay, we both are fine.” And with that you two hugged again.

The next day after you woke up you were cleaning your wounds in the river, though the contrast of the cold water with the burnt skin of your hands made you hiss in pain. You needed to do it but it was agonizing, it was then that Jihoon got into the river, taking your hands into his and letting the water do it's work as he let your head fall into his shoulder as you breathed in and out; once the pain subsided you let him bandage you and your stomach fluttered when he kissed your hands.

You looked into his eyes and melted at his eyes watching you with adoration and love, his left hand went to your cheek and then he stood on his toes to kiss you, expressing his love and longing for you with each peck, bite and caress of your lips; after Jihoon pulled his head to breathe you kissed his cheek which made him chuckle.

“I love you Jihoon, I always have” You confessed

“Me too y/n, I can't believe I let this go on unsaid for so long, I don't want to imagine a world in which you are not there, I'm afraid to lose you one day.” He signed in flowy movements.

“You won't” you promised, hugging him and letting his head fall onto your chest.

3 Weeks later you finally made it to District 13, your relationship with Jihoon having evolved, no longer concealed by dreams or avoidance you just let it be.

-S, S, M, Y/n and I are here.- Jihoon muttered to the radio as well as sending the Morse code of arrival.

-Got it J, we will go for you- Seokmin's voice flowed through the air, you missed hearing his voice.

1 hour and a half later an elevator from the earth lifted itself, revealing to be carrying Seokmin and 2 soldiers.

-Hi guys, sorry I got late, but needed to bring security and the procedure to come for you.- His smile was bright and it was nice since it was like seeing the sun in the winter and Jihoon seemed to share the feeling.

-It’s okay Seokmin, after all, we need to catch up, don't we?- Jihoon muttered and Seokmin’s eyes traveled to your joined hands with Jihoon, the surprise and glee in his eyes pouring out through his expressions.

-I agree Jihoon, I agree.- Seokmin beamed

However after Coin proved to be just as corrupt as President Snow , the Rebellion was torn if it was right to keep living in District 13 but Katniss Everdeen made a speech about the importance of the spirit of resistance and to live the life our lost loved would have wished for us.

And thus, Jihoon and you chose to stay in District 13 and live together in a better house. Soon Jihoon got to work as a civil engineer and bioengineer, flattering you when he said he got inspired by you with your knowledge, whereas you had become a healer and owner of your own apothecary, assisted by Jihoon and Sunyoung.

Sunyoung had teased you endlessly when she learned about Jihoon and you, having mentioned how she always knew it would eventually happen and that she expected to be your maid of honor in the wedding flustering you.

Jihoon and you were finally able to accept you could survive together if you were in a relationship and finally be able to simply live and give yourselves a better life because of it, and even considering the option to adopt a child in the future.

“We are happy, aren’t we?” Jihoon asked you one day when you were out in the forest, after it got treatment for sowings, enjoying the feeling of the sun now it was spring.

“We are Jihoon, more than we could ever be before” you told him smiling and as he returned your smile you kissed him, enjoying the feeling of being with him and finally being able to love yourselves freely without fear.