#and I make this mistake so often that im already in this state and doing it before I form the coherence to just. Reset my alarm to later.

[nykloss]

Sometimes out of spite I do this thing called "taking a nap but worse" where I set two different alarms, with two different snooze intervals, 17 and 20 minutes out from when I initiate my nap and then fall asleep for two hours, constantly getting woken up by alarms every small handful of minutes, until I eventually reach a zombie-like-medatative state where I am am simultaneously asleep while attacking my snooze button like whack-a-mole, going through hundreds of rapid-fire-dream shots by the end of it. I am aware of what time it is the entire time while I am asleep and do this for hours until my dreams become extremely jumbled and disturbed. I wake up feeling not refreshed and with a time hole in my dad with various unfortunate visions. Also my alarm sound is the pokemon black and white 2 plasma battle theme at max volume.

There is no benefit to this.

[olderthannetfic]

You've encountered site changes over time as a fan elder, what do you make of Tumblr potentially being put out to pasture? Tumblr was my coming of age fan site, and im looking for advice to transition to the next thing with grace and less bitterness than I feel now.

--

Ahaha. God, you should have heard the howling about LJ. "Fandom is over!" "Never again shall we dwell in fandom's True Home!" etc.

Hell, this endless "only LJ was good" crap turns up in replies here on posts where I as OP have very clearly laid out why that's rose colored glasses nonsense and you can so make friends on tumblr, have a conversation on tumblr, etc.

I had my crabby phase about this during the transition from Yahoo Groups to LJ. A lot of the real olds had it over paper zines and the transition to the internet.

I don't know if reading these hilariously samey old posts would help. It does give perspective, I think.

--

As for what you should do, do what I did with Tumblr:

1.

Look around to identify the Next Thing fandom is going to camp out on.

It may take a few guesses and some time to figure this out. You will likely not be an early adopter. Fandom was well established here by the time I joined at the end of 2010. Of course, by now, all those 2009 and before accounts are long gone, but at the time, I was a n00b joining other people's space despite having been in fandom for ages.

2.

Don't expect to enjoy it

I didn't join tumblr because I liked it. In fact, I despised it. I kept right on despising it until a brief stint in Sherlock fandom, a fandom that was so active here at the time that I was able to finally see the good aspects of the site's structure and features.

This is the mistake a lot of people make. They give things a cursory try, don't enjoy them, and go "not for me", forgetting that the last site also had a steep learning curve that was either difficult or that they didn't notice because they were in a different phase of their life.

Bitterness and grief are, frankly, an inherent part of the process. You can try not to be a debbie downer in your public comments, but you can't just not feel those things during the awkward part of the transition. Sometimes, acting positive and cutting off excessively negative thoughts can make you feel less negative overall, but it doesn't happen immediately.

3.

Accept that feeling cranky and old is both a you problem and a state of mind, not a property of the new site

Relatedly, the way we remember fandom platform X feeling usually has more to do with us being in college with fandom friends down the hall or having discovered Our People for the first time or some other time when we had a lot of energy and positive emotions. Often, we were in the throes of a first or new fandom love too, probably for some megafandom that other people also cared about at the same time.

When fandom is leaving some site, there's a grieving process anyway, but we're also often in a worse part of our lives for starting new things. We're busy. We're tired. We're between fandoms. We feel like we already paid our dues to build up our community. Why should we have to start again?

But let me tell you, you always need to start again eventually. I go to a weekly vidders' zoom chat, and a lot of the people in there are old as balls, including Kandy, the person who invented vidding back in the 70s. She's a lot of decades and a few cancers in, and she had to relearn how to vid on a computer after transitioning from slideshows to VCR vidding back in the day. If bad health, platform changes, and dead friends were going to stop her, she'd be long gone.

It's like sharks: you stop swimming, you die.

This isn't just about fandom, obviously. It's about avoiding a midlife crisis and, later, about avoiding feeling emotionally geriatric even when your body is falling apart.

Change gets us all, but being mentally old is a choice. The real reason I gave tumblr such a try was that I had been so resistant to getting on LJ. I was 20. Even a year later, it was fucking embarrassing to have been a crotchety old hag as a college student. I promised myself I'd soldier through the next change instead of dragging my feet about it. And it totally worked in the end! But boy did it not make the transition any less unpleasant emotionally!

4.

Find your joy

As is obvious from the above, the vast majority of the problem is just emotions. Fandom has been on a million broken sites with shitty features. We go where the people are, regardless of whether it has the technological aspects we liked at the last place. The actual shape of that platform is largely irrelevant.

What does matter is whether we as an individual fan are still excited and happy about something. I was between fandoms recently and went looking around for BL series I hadn't watched yet. People kept suggesting things set in the present day with too-cheesy production values and too many banal schoolboys in modern day settings without even anything spicy going on. I realized that the BL/danmei scene wasn't really cutting it for me and I should go for production values and genre and non-canon ships. You probably scrolled annoyedly past the picspams that resulted.

(Of course, hilariously, someone has now shown me the trailer of Red Peafowl, so someone may be making BL that feels like it's for me after all. Look at all that badwrong and very dark color grading.)

When you're in a good place emotionally, it's a hell of a lot easier to weather any change, and when you have a new fandom, it's a lot easier to connect with other fans.

A lot of people wait around for lightning to strike twice. They found their first fandom by accident, and they expect it to happen seamlessly again. For me, it's far more productive to brute force it: collect up a big list of what's popular or what's new and go through it till you find things you might like, then try them all.

And part of this, obviously, is not waiting for other fans to make the party happen. The more you need to join something other people are already doing, the less choice you'll have in fandoms or in platforms. If you aren't picky and just go where the tropey longfic is, that can work, but even then, favorite authors disappear or go to fandoms you hate and former megafandoms dry up. If you're the one bringing the party, it's a lot easier to find a new fandom or platform or community to have fun in.

[fish-eat-fish]

⋆ pavitr x gn!reader (meeting his aunt!) ⋆

request: @blublubluu Can you do one with pavitr where the reader meets his aunt pls? ♡

a/n: thank you so much for requesting this, im actually so grateful i've gotten so many requests for pavitr. how did everyone know he was my favorite?? anyways this was whipped up when i was tired so i apologize for any mispellings or grammar mistakes. still trying to understand how things are formatted on here!

✰✰✰

You and Pavitr had been dating for a few months now. Being seated next to each other, it was natural that the two of you would become somewhat close throughout the school year. It was definitely unexpected as he would’ve never imagined entering a relationship, having to balance being Mumbattan’s Spiderman with his usual life. You were a much-needed normality in his life though, always mellowing him out and keeping him grounded.

Pavitr loved talking about you, constantly rambling about how he thought you were incredible. And how loved to spend his every waking moment with you as much as possible. Word certainly got out thanks to him, and now he was to face the final stage of his long-term relationship. His Auntie’s approval. Pavitr was nervous, to say the least. She was a gentle yet stern woman. And she only wanted the best for Pavitr. Pavitr had no doubts when it came to you, but still, bringing his first partner to meet his Auntie was incredibly nerve-wracking.

Pavitr got ready for school that day and began eating his breakfast when all of a sudden Auntie Maya sat down in front of him. “Pavitr, I’d like to meet that wonderful partner of yours.” She stated. He choked on his bite of aloo ke paranthe, hitting his chest to cough up his food. Auntie Maya stared in curiosity. Quickly downing his glass of water, Pavitr cleared his throat.

“That sounds like a great idea Auntie. I’ll invite them over soon.”

✰✰✰

After the school day, you waited for your bus home. Pavitr, living relatively close to the school, always chose to wait with you. He wanted to spend his time with you as much as he could. So the two of you sat together, sipping on iced drinks bought from the vending machine. After a lot of bravery and courage on Pavitr’s part, he brought up his Auntie’s invitation.

“Really? She wants to meet me?”

“Yes. Uh, I was thinking maybe tonight…? Is that okay with you?” He asked, tilting his head.

“Pav, I’d love to.” You said, smiling at the thought of Auntie Maya. You’d heard only good things about her. Pavitr grasped your hand, giving it a firm squeeze. You ran your thumb over his hand, reassuring him.

He sighed nervously, “Thank you for doing this, really.”

You chuckled at his nervousness, pushing back a strand of hair that had fallen into his face.

“I’ll make a good first impression, I promise.”

Pavitr smiled at this, mumbling words of endearment into your hand as he give it a quick kiss.

“I know you will.”

His heart was racing at your touch despite the two of you being together for a little while now. He’d never get over being with the coolest person in Mumbattan. Letting go of your hand, he pulled you closer to him by grabbing your waist. You leaned your head onto his shoulder, basking in the sun and his affection.

The two of you hung out a little longer, talking about school and his latest fight as Spiderman. Pavitr knew you didn’t like him putting himself in danger, but you were willing to put it aside to comfort him after a particularly tough fight. He was often stressed. But being physically close to you was like a fresh breath of air for Pavitr. And you were happy to help him in any way you could.

Before long, your bus arrived. The two of you had already worked out the details.

“See you at six o’clock then?” He asked, standing up to send you off on your way.

“See you at six, Pav.” You replied. He leaned towards down, the two of you sharing a quick and gentle kiss as Pav carefully held onto your waist. You gave him one last reassuring look, before heading onto the bus. Pavitr waved goodbye to you outside with a warm smile. You waved back as the bus shuddered.

Sitting down now, you leaned against the bus window. You already had a game plan for this situation, as you did not want to disappoint Pavitr or his Auntie. So first, you were dropping by the market to purchase a fresh bouquet of flowers for Auntie Maya, and then you were going to whip up some baked goods to bring over. She was the woman who raised Pavitr after all, your wonderful boyfriend.

✰✰✰

As soon as you arrived home, you got to work. Putting on an apron, you rummaged through your pantry to grab the needed ingredients. The cookbook on your counter was already bookmarked and opened, a simple recipe for homemade sweet biscuits, nankhatai. Your phone rang as you began kneading the dough. You picked up seeing it was Pav.

“Hey, Pav. What’s up?” You held the phone between your ear and your shoulder as you worked the dough. Your boyfriend sighed over the phone, his voice was a little raspy.

“I’m just doing some homework. Wanted to hear your voice.”

You smiled wide, “Is that so?”

“What? What’s wrong with that?” He complained, scribbling on his paper as he spoke.

“Nothing. But you know I am seeing you in like an hour right?” You teased.

“I don’t care. I want to talk to you.” He shot back, grumbling.

You lightly laughed over the line. Pavitr put his pencil down, fully focusing on the sound of your voice now. Your laugh reverberated through his head. He smiled and leaned back in his chair as you continued speaking.

“Well, I just have to do something real quick, and then I’ll take the bus over to yours right away.”

“Can’t wait to see you. My Auntie seems to be pretty excited too. She’s prepping a lot of food for you coming over.”

You gasped, “No way! Ugh, Pav I can’t wait. She has the best cooking.” You remembered sharing lunch with Pavitr, his food always being mouthwatering and delicious. Pavitr chuckled at this. You rolled the dough into individual pieces on the pan. Quickly looking over at the clock, you wiped your hands on the apron and grabbed the phone with your hand.

“I better get going, sorry.” You felt bad for cutting the conversation short. Pavitr made some noises of disapproval over the call, “…Okay.” You smiled at him.

You held the phone up to your mouth. “Bye Pav.”

“See you.”

The phone call ended.

Pavitr put his phone down and huffed out. It was time to get back to his homework. It was a little hard to focus as he pondered over all of the things that could go wrong with you and Auntie Maya. Regardless, he tried to push the possibilities out of his head.

There was a careful knock on his door. Pavitr swung around in his chair to Auntie Maya smiling and holding a cup of chai. She set the cup down carefully on his desk. Pavitr beamed at this, “Thank you, Auntie.”

Auntie Maya nodded and gave Pavitr’s cheek a little pinch, smiling as she left and closed the door behind her. Pavitr picked up the teacup and brought it up to his mouth, carefully blowing on it and taking a small sip. He hummed at the taste of the drink, feeling grateful. Getting back to work, he mindlessly scribbled on his homework assignment, having much ease solving the math equations. One of his greatest joys was being able to help his fellow classmates, and you, with homework. He always wanted to help you in any way he could. To repay you for how much comfort and happiness your presence brought him.

Time had passed painfully slowly as he finished up his remaining assignments. Just in time, you shot Pav a text, I’m here! He quickly shot up out of his chair, scrambling to greet you at the door. He quickly stopped by the mirror and fixed his messy hair first of course, combing it through his fingers. A few gentle knocks on the door could be heard. Pavitr practically sprinted over, opening the door with tense shoulders.

You stood tall with a warm smile, a basket held in your hands. “Hey. I brought you guys some biscuits. Oh! And flowers for your Auntie.” You spoke proudly. Pavitr stared at you in surprise and honest admiration. Handing him the basket momentarily, you quickly took your shoes off and set them down neatly.

Pavitr looked down at the basket full of warm baked biscuits. The aroma filled his senses and his mouth watered. “You didn’t have to (Name)…! When did you even have the time to..?” You gave him a chaste kiss on his lips. Shooting him a reassuring look.

“Ay, hello dear.” Spoke a soft voice from behind Pavitr. You peeked over, a smile beaming on your face as you saw the kind woman.

“Auntie! It’s so very nice to meet you.” You pushed past Pavitr as he let you in nervously. He watched awkwardly as the two of you spoke to each other. You showed her the basket and set it down on the dinner table. Grabbing the bouquet with gentle care, you handed it to her.

“I hope you like peonies, ma’am.”

Her face grew soft as she sniffed the flowers, “Oh how lovely! Such a sweet gift, dear.”

You observed Pavitr’s house, taking a moment to observe the furniture and the decor. Sun shone in through the curtains, illuminating the picture frames hung above the mantel. You approached the pictures, gasping at the photos of little Pavitr. He lingered beside you, unsure of what to do with you in his space and his home. Auntie Maya approached you and chuckled, “Wasn’t he such a cute kid? Oh, I remember him on his eighth birthday, he was so excited for his party he practically shoveled himself into that cake!” She laughed. You laughed along with her.

“Okay okay, guys! No need to stare at my past self any longer. How about we eat? Auntie made delicious food, let’s go before it gets cold.” Pavitr rambled, trying to distract you from his embarrassing baby photos. Auntie Maya chuckled to herself and went into the kitchen, grabbing dishes.

Turning to Pavitr and pointing to the photo on the wall, you mouthed the words cute and you. Pavitr was flushed with embarrassment, ignoring you and dragging you by the hand to the dinner table. He felt his heart race, showing you a part of his personal life to you like this. This was where he had grown up, and this is where he was raised by his Auntie Maya. And to see you be so comfortable and welcomed into this space, it made his stomach flutter, and his heart fill with warmth. Pavitr cleared his throat.

You looked over at him and gave his warm hand a squeeze, smiling at him. He glanced back at you with adoration. Dishes were set down at the wooden table as Auntie Maya brought in steaming food. The aromas of the spices and sauces filled the room and heightened your hunger. Your mouth watered at the sight of the food. “This looks delicious ma’am.” You smiled at her.

“Thank you, Auntie,” Pavitr mumbled, before serving himself his food and digging in. Auntie Maya chuckled at him as he scarfed the meal down. She ate slowly and looked up at you through warm eyes, “So (Name), Pavi speaks very highly of you.”

You finished chewing your bite and looked up, smiling. “Really?” You turned towards Pav who was hiding behind his cup of chai. You shot him a teasing look.

Pavitr grumbled, “Auntie…”

You chuckled as she continued, “He’s such a sweet boy, he’ll never mistreat you.” You hummed at this, feeling only adoration at your seat. You felt so welcomed in this house and in this family. Pavitr just fully hid his face in his hands now.

“You know, he use to always talk about wanting a family.”

“Whoa! Okay, Auntie! I think that’s enough chat, let’s finish our food!” Pavitr shook his hands defensively, looking away from your eyes as he was flustered. You sat in your seat silenced at this, feeling your face flush. Auntie Maya laughed heartedly at the two of you, scooting away from each other. She gave you a warm smile, “I’m just teasing dear. But I think he chose a wonderful person, and I’d be more than happy to have you in our home again.”

“That means a lot, thank you miss.”

✰✰✰

The three of you ate the rest of dinner. You were absolutely groveling in your seat as you’d never tasted food so good before. Tears practically formed in your eyes at the spice, but damn did it taste good. Comfortable silence was disrupted with light chat and questions. Somehow the conversation always leaned towards embarrassing stories about Pavitr, to which he denied passionately. It was getting late, and your parents were expecting you at home soon.

“Dinner was amazing ma’am. I’ve never had better food…” You said honestly. Auntie Maya let out a light-hearted laugh as she came over to you and gave you a gentle hug. You embraced her back.

“Come over again honey, you’re always welcome to visit.” You nodded.

Pavitr waited as you slipped on your shoes, leaning against the wall. He held the bag of wrapped leftovers for you to take. Auntie Maya had cooked a large amount of food, just for you to take. You cried internally over this as you’d be eating well for the next week. Auntie Maya gently waved to you as she bid you goodbye. You waved back, “Bye Auntie.”

Pavitr walked you out of his house, holding your bag of food for you as the two of you headed towards the bus stop. You let out a sigh, “I’m seriously stuffed. Your Aunt makes magical food, Pav.” He laughed, nodding in agreement. He took your hand in his, interlocking your fingers together as the two of you walked in comfortable silence. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, speaking up. “So. That went well I think.” He turned towards you.

“It did huh? I don’t know what I was so worried about.” He mumbled. You smiled at him as you caressed his hand with your thumb.

“You’re seriously amazing.” He stated.

The two of you approached the bus stop. Pavitr was pretty silent until he pulled halted and dragged you into an embrace. A very tight embrace. You hugged back twice as tight obviously. He nestled his head into the crook of your neck, his breath tickling your skin as he huffed out. Rubbing small circles into his back, you spoke into his shoulder, “What’s up Pav?” You were confused about his burst of affection.

He softly mumbled something into your skin. To which you let out a confused, hm?

“I said… I said I love you.”

You were silent, not expecting that from him. You didn’t have to think about it too long or gather up the courage to respond back.

“I love you too Pav.”

He shot back up from the hug, grasping onto your shoulders and staring at you in shock.

“Really!?”

“Pavitr.” You questioned him and his thought process. He looked at you, his face flushed with a deep red. You tucked back a piece of his messed-up hair. The bus approached, and you had to go. Grabbing your stuff, you turned to him. “Well, I better go.”

He nodded, “Right.”

There was electricity between the two of you again, and Pavitr felt his hair stand up as a cold gust of wind flew through. He hadn’t grabbed a jacket when walking you. He carefully approached you, standing closer as he hovered his hands over your waist, almost asking for permission. Smiling, you let him grasp you, placing his hands on you, as you placed your free hand on his cheek. His skin always being warm to the touch. The kiss was deep yet gentle. He always was careful, never wanting to overstep your boundaries.

Pulling back, Pavitr’s heart raced, blood rushing into his ears. He beamed, letting out a nervous chuckle. You stepped onto the bus, turning back to wave goodbye to him. He waved back, feeling his stomach turn at the sight of you, the most beautiful person he’d ever known. It always felt like an eternity when the two of you were separated. But of course, Pav would call you as soon as you arrived home. And maybe fall asleep during said call.

Pavitr full-heartedly loved you, he’d learned that tonight. And he was not against the idea of you being by his side forever.

[so-many-fandoms-here]

(English isn’t my first language so feel free to correct any mistake you notice.)

• Characters: Levi Ackerman, fem!Reader

• Genre: fluff

• Warnings: none. Just a funny little idea I got in the shower. Not as depressing as usual 🫶🏻

An Useful Skill

═══✿═══ ✿ ═══✿═══

The nicest days were the ones no one had to fight for their lives. Even the survey corps had their days off which were often used to visit family or go to town. Since no one waited for you, you chose the latter and together with Hanji, Levi, Erwin and a few other comrades who weren’t that lucky to have someone to visit you made your way to pretend to be normal for a few hours.

With a smile you gave your horse into the care of a nice old man with an impressively long, white beard. „So“, Hanji spoke. „Any particular plans?“ You just shook your heard before looking over to Levi who had his usual stoic expression. „Trying to not get migraines from your voice“, he mumbled, giving Hanji an annoyed glance. „Charming as always“, they responded, rolling their eyes even though their just as amused as you.

Your eyes wandered to the sight in front of you again, watching Eren, Armin and Mikasa who walked a few feet in front of you. It was the first day off since the new recruits started at the regiment. The other recruits already flew out, doing whatever kids in their age did.

„Im going this way“, Erwin stated after a while. „I need to get a few things. Keep an eye on Eren, Levi.“

Levi shot an irritated glance at the commander, obviously not thrilled by this order. „It’s my day off!“, he said rather angry. Erwin sighed, smelling the upcoming argument he can’t avoid, and turned around again. „Yes. But he’s under your care“, he remembered, making Levi raising his eyebrows. „What, can’t clean up after my fucking pet?“

You turned to Hanji just to witness that they had difficulties to control their laughters too.

„If your pet can turn into a titan, then I‘m afraid not.“ Erwin stated calmly which made Levi even more pissed. „And what am I supposed to do without an odm gear?“ Levi pointed down his white button down shirt which was stuffed neatly into his black pants. „Without that I am just as useful against a titan as the military police is.“

That was the point where you couldn’t keep quiet anymore and Hanji and you bursted out laughing, earning an annoyed glance from your husband. As he turned around again, Erwin was already walking away. „I trust you, Levi“, he says with a wave before disappearing behind a corner. „Oh my god“, Levi mumbled while pinching the bridge of his nose. Then he looked to the kids. Armin and Eren were caught up in a conversation, which Mikasa followed quietly. „Those brats better behave.“

Luckily they did. To be honest, it was a rather pleasant day. Since Jean went with Sasha and Connie there wasn’t any danger of another stupid argument coming up between him and Eren so everything was really peaceful.

At one point you came to a story that sold clothing, mostly dresses and even though everything seemed really expensive you just couldn’t bring yourself to walk past it. So you went inside to look around. Dreaming is free after all.

You stepped inside a heaven made of cloth and lace. Everywhere you looked was a dress, more beautiful that the other. You walked your rounds through the cinnamon scented store, always coming back to that one dress.

It had a white blouse, the sleeves puffy at the shoulders. The crimson red skirt fell to the middle of the dolls shinbone and on top it wore a little jacket in the same red. Next to the doll was a pile with the same dresses, neatly folded.

Levi looked through the rather big store for you while folding a button down shirt he found and bought. It was the cheapest thing in the whole store but still shitty expensive. Since the material was really good, he figured it would be okay to spoil himself one time with a decent shirt.

He found you standing in front of the puppet with the dress. The way your (e/c) eyes sparkled told him how much you liked it. „Found something?“, he asked as he stepped beside you, slightly touching your back before pulling his hand back. A small gesture others wouldn’t even notice, but meant the world for you since Levi wasn‘t really someone who showed affection in public, but tried anyway since he knew how much it meant to you.

„Oh no“, you said with a rather sad laugh. „It’s way too expensive.“ Levi followed your eyes who were looking at the price tag now, causing him to raise his eyebrows at this ridiculous price.

„You’d look beautiful in it“, he reassured you, managing to still make you blush after all those years.

Levi knew damn well that it embarrassed you to admit that you were disappointed over something so insignificant like a dress. You tend to forget that just because you’re a soldier, you can have normal wishes like a pretty dress and that you can be disappointed over something other people would be.

You shook your head to get rid of the imagination of you inside this dress. „Well, I don’t need anything from here. How about we eat something? There is a nice looking café.“

Levi seemed like he snapped out of his thoughts when he looked at you. „That’s a nice idea. Go ahead, I’ll be there in a second.“ You didn’t thought further about it, which may have been a mistake, and went out of the store to walk to the building on the other side of the street. Eren, Armin and Mikasa followed you. Hanji tried to too, but Levi held them by the wrist, stopping them in their movement. „Do me a favor, four eyes.“

„Well if you ask that nicely“, Hanji laughed, irony painting their statement. „What can I do for you, shorty?“

Levi ignored the nickname and pulled them down to him, so Hanji would hear his whispering. „Distract the shop keeper.“

Hanji frowned at him. „Why?“ „Just do it!“, he hissed before letting the collar of their shirt go.

Hanji thought about it for a second, keeping eye contact to the man but eventually just shrugged their shoulders and turned around to walk up to the Lady, who seemed to be the owner.

With a quick glance around to make sure no one was there, he walked back to the corner of the shop where you saw the dress. He looked at the sizes and with skilled hands he grabbed one of the dresses and one of the jackets, folded it really quick and shoved it underneath the shirt he wore. To be safe he closed the buttons of the jacket too, hoping it wouldn’t be so obvious that he just shoved a whole dress underneath his clothes.

He walked back to the entrance, looking at Hanji, the unbeaten winner of chewing ears off, to sign them he’s done. Luckily the woman had turned her back to the door, so Levi was able to leave without her even noticing him.

You were standing in front of the café, chatting with the others and chewing on a bagel when Levi made his way to you.

Your smile faded and you squeezed your eyes as you looked at him, sensing that something was off. You knew your husband. When Hanji almost stormed out of the shop, you knew that there wasn’t just something off, there was something terribly wrong.

„It’s time to go brats“, Levi announced. „We’re supposed to be back by sunset.“

You cocked your eyebrows at him and his suddenly messy outfit. „Levi?“, you whispered as you walked beside him but he shushed you. Even Hanji avoided your gaze.

The whole way back to the headquarters you could just guess what happened, and you really hoped you interpreted Levi’s sudden belly he didn’t had when you arrived wrong.

You didn’t even let them take care of the horses. Instead you instantly dragged Levi and Hanji with you inside the building and to Levis office.

„Don’t tell me you-“ you started when you closed the door but got interrupted by Levi. „You know that I have been stealing a lot in the underground.“

That confirmed your guess, but even though your tried to be mad at him, you couldn’t stop the smile that rose in your face.

„It’s an useful skill you’ll never un-learn. Do the math“, he said while opening up his jacket. Hanji leaned with a big grin against the door, only realizing why exactly they had to distract the owner.

„Levi!“, you tried to scold him, but failed since the smile in your face caused that not even you could take yourself seriously. „Go ahead and try it on“, he mumbled while pulling the folded dress out of his own clothing, handing it to you.

Your eyes darted to Hanji who stood silently in the corner. „You knew?“ They raised their hands with an excusing expression. „He just told me to distract the owner.“

Eyes jumping back to Levi you gave up to try to look angry, making room for a soft smile on your face. „Levi.“

„Your eyes sparkled“, he mumbled almost too quiet for you to hear, but he quickly switched to his usual behavior again. „Now try it on, brat!“

[yumenotambourin]

do all 3 mouses for the character ask or im shaving elfilis 🪒🪒🪒

I'M SORRY I WAS TRAVELING YESTERDAY AM I STILL IN TIME TO SAVE THEM???

🩷First impression🩵

Elfilin

Very cute! I thought he was quite bland before release already, but I was like 100% sure that it was because the twist was gonna be that he was mass produced.

And then after finishing the game I had a little phase in which I hated him because he was super fucking plot important, yet he didn't do anything and this made me angry, lol

Forgo

As soon as my eyes landed on it, I thought it was Elfilin after some horrific experimentations. But then they showed the actual Elfilin lmao. I thought it was really cute and I didn't want to fight it, thank god it transformed before we fought it. Then I was just awestruck.

Also my mom randomly asked me what it was and I didn't know what to say so I just said something like "a mental parasite species"

Elfilis

The first thought that crossed my mind after seeing them was "oh god they have my exact favorite color scheme I'm gonna be obsessed with them, aren't I?". Breathtakingly beautiful, of an angelicity(?) never seen before from Kirby. Throughout April 2022, I occasionally woke up in the morning wondering wether they were just a dream. The fact that something like them existed in the Kirby universe was astonishing to me.

🩷Impression now🩵

Elfilin

I still think he's severely underdeveloped, but I'm more cool with that now. He's cute and silly and fun, he's a nice contrast to Forgo, and generally an adorable sidekick. Tho I wish there was more of him.

Forgo

Baby. It's very cute, strikes pretty well the balance between creepy and goober, and the superior gemini in my opinion. I like putting it in situations :3

Elfilis

A MOUS!!! As magnificent as the first time I saw them. Except they're now my muse, my guardian angel. My view of them has kinda shifted from "stereotypical perfect lifeform" to "the embodiment of life itself", which kinda recontextualizes them, especially given how hard each mous fought to stay alive, and I find that very inspirational.

I love Elfilis.

🩷Favorite moment🩵

They don't have that many moments so uuuuh

Elfilin

Finding the Light! Perfect way to end the mouces' arc, and goes to show how much of a sweetheart he is.

Forgo

The iconic "everything shall be consumed" is iconic

Elfilis

The only thing that they do, their boss fight 😭 it's stunning and I find myself replaying it more often than normal

🩷Idea for a story🩵

Elfilin

Definitely a plotline where they tackle that he can learn something from Elfilis and/or Forgo as well. I don't like how y'all treat him like he's perfect.

Forgo

I'd like to see it getting used to living a normal happy life :3 the baby has suffered enough

Elfilis

ELFILIS PROLOGUE PLEASE!!! About how they attacked earth and stuff and their capture and maybe even Neichel cameo!!!

(I will not let you forget about Neichel)

🩷Unpopular opinion🩵

Elfilin

As I said before, I hate when people make him out to be this little goody-two-shoes without a single flaw who's juts the embodiment of niceness and kindness and will always do the right thing. Like no??? It's not all black and white! Let him be a proper multilayered character! Let him make mistakes and learn from others! Let him learn from his literal other half!!!

Forgo

Whenever someone says that Forgo is Elfilis an angel loses their wings. Starting from the fact that the game heavily implies if not downright states (I'm on plane I can't check I forgor) that Elfilis = Forgo + Elfilin, why would anyone choose to take two different characters in different situations with likely two different outlooks (ELFILIS WAS SPLIT INTO TWO FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLOT!!! ELFILIS HAS THE HERO OF THE STORY INSIDE THEM!!!) and reduce them to a single, more limited being? Plus, most people with this headcanon are also the "Elfilis/Forgo is pure evil and an irredeemable monster!!!!" people who also really piss me off. Like yeah okay YOU chose to headcanon the traumatized baby and the insane mous as the same character. YOU are the one taking away all the nuance they could possibly have. Also as I said before THATS A TRAUMATIZED BABY!!!

Elfilis

I strongly dislike the headcanon that Elfilis absorbs other creatures into their dna. I feel like it ruins a lot of the charm they have, at least for me, by making their ethereal presentation be stolen from other creatures rather than it just being who they are. Also, while I am a Good Elfilis defender, I love the idea of them destroying planets for fun. It just goes to cement how otherworldy and above it all this creature is. So yeah, I feel like this headcanon takes away a lot of their appeal for me personally.

I also don't like when people make them always angry and grumpy, like do you realize half of them is Elfilin?

🩷Favorite relationship🩵

This is entirely headcanon-based as the mouces don't really interact with anyone besides Elfilin with Kirby

Elfilis and Elfilin and Elfilis and Forgo. More than the three of them together, I prefer each baby mous with Elfilis on their own.

I'm gonna briefly summarize my hc dynamics for them cause I love mice.

Elfilis and Elfilin - Elfilin

As I said before, Elfilin's feelings on his big sibling are very conflicted. On one hand, he feels safe with them, and looks up to them. On the other hand, he fears them. The fact that they just wipe out planets without second thought disturbs him. Although he'd never admit it to himself because he loves them so much. Elfilis, however, is very much aware of Elfilin's feelings. And as much as they're devastated by the guilt of having hurt their little ones so much, they dismss Elfilin's compassion as naivete due to his young age and time spent with the beasts. They're sure he will outgrow it one day and see his superiority, ans in the meantime they remind him that he's their little one and that they'll always love him.

Elfilis and Forgo - Forgo

Forgo sees itself as nothing but a temporary form of Elfilis, unworthy of being seen as anything but. And it's not taking this whole "coexisting with the actual Elfilis" all that well. If the actual Elfilis exists, what purpose does Forgo have? This sends them down an existential crisis. Elfilis doesn't like that. And they're desperate to help it break free from these beliefs. Also, Forgo always saw Elfilis in a very idolized way, as a ruthless monstrous destroyer. But that's not all there is to Elfilis, they can be a little silly sometimes. And Forgo is SEVERELY disappointed. It often calls them an idiot and then feels bad about it because nobody should be reproaching the almighty Fecto Elfilis. Also it exclusively refers to them as "Great One".

🩷Favorite headcanon🩵

Elfilin

Can I be honest? No fucking clue. Maybe that Elfilis teaches him how to fight?

Forgo

I'll make it quick so as not to repeat myself, that it sees itself as nothing more than a temporary form of Elfilis.

Elfilis

The idea that they have no motivation is very important to me. Specifically that they do things purely out of enjoyment. That they're just a force beyond our comprehension who sees everything as insignificant and is just trying to have fun.

ALSO THAT THEY LOVE EACHOTHER VERY MUCH!!!

[jaehunnyy]

I know I love you

Genre: friends-to-lovers!au, fake-dating!au, angsty but with a happy ending, fluff (in the end)

Word count: 1k

Pairing: fake-boyfriend!Beomgyu x fem!reader

Requested by: anon (song: 0X1=LOVESONG - TXT)

Warnings: one kiss, usage of pet names (angel), a bit of a messed up situation, mentions of clubbing, mentions of Beomgyu being drunk (though he is sober enough), possible grammar mistakes

A/N: nonnie, im sorry it took so long to write this, but i am happy i got to finish it now. i changed the meaning of the lyrics a bit and i used them in different situations, so I hope you don't mind that too much. thank you! ✨️

__________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

The flashing lights and the loud music defining the club Beomgyu was in were nothing new for the boy. The reason why he kept ending there? Very familiar as well. He often wondered what made him accept fake dating you, because instead of becoming closer, he felt like you were distancing more with every passing day. And still, it was his mistake, because he accepted the deal when you offered to help him with making the girl he loved jealous—not realising that you were supposed to make yourself jealous in this case. And once again, the memories have started to kick in.

"Hey, Gyu!" you shouted, gently nudging his shoulder: "I heard you're in love, hmmm?"

His eyes widened at your question, and the panic made his vision blurry. There was no way you found out, was it?

"Uhm, well, you see—"

"I can help you with that, Gyu! I know you are way too shy to confess, so I have a plan for that. Let's fake date!"

"I don't want to use you for that… you are much more than a rebound for me, Y/N…"

“I offered to do that, and I will be here for you, always. Let's do that, Gyu. Please, use me like a drug."

Let's fake date. Please, use me like a drug. He would have never imagined that he would be in such a situation, but if he said no, you would keep on asking questions, and he would expose himself; so he chose to say yes.

Already tired of the place he spent his last hour in and the aching memory of his mistake, he took his leather jacket and started walking slowly to your house, because even with his foggy mind, he knew you'd always let him in. You were his fake girlfriend, after all. He also took advantage of the silence on the street, engulfed by the pressure of his thoughts, until he reached your welcoming house. One knock, and you were already in front of him, the same, worried look plastered on your face.

"Did you get drunk again…?" you sighed, before letting him come inside.

"No, 'm not drunk," he said, an innocent smile stretching his lips softly: "just missed you."

You gave him a bitter smile, because in the end, you were not the girl he loved, (or so you thought).

"Is this part of our deal?"

"Missing you? No, Y/N, 'm honest with youuuu!" he laughed, clinging into you like a little kid.

You had enough of this painful pretending.

"Gyu… let's end this."

Was he not sober enough, so that he started to hear things? There's no way you would end things like this, right? Did he do something wrong?

"What? What about the girl I like?"

"You don't need me to pull her, Beomgyu. Once you do, you will be happy, and I will keep on hurting myself. It's over."

He felt the need to laugh, you couldn't be serious. It was toxic, but he was addicted.

"Are you saying that I'm the one hurting you, when you did that to yourself?" he asked, hands shaking in anger. Why did you blame him?

"Yes." you simply stated, arms crossed in front of your chest.

"Then why the fuck did you offer to help me one month ago?"

"Because I love you, Gyu. And I would rather have you as my fake boyfriend than not having you at all, but it has become an all or nothing situation, and I want all of you."

You did all of this—because you loved him too? All this messed up situation, for him to find out that you were crushing on each other?

"Y/N… you were the girl I liked. When you found out that I have a crush, I panicked and… I didn't want to give myself away, so I chose to say yes to your plan, even though it made no sense."

You looked at him with glossy eyes, giving up and squishing him into a big hug. There was no point in fighting more, the situation was already messed up. You were convinced he wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, but you wanted to use this opportunity, just this time.

"Gyu, look at me. If you remember this in the morning, kiss me. If not, let's both forget about this."

Even though he was sober enough to think rationally, he played your game once again.

"Deal."

The next morning came with such small steps, that you felt trapped in a never ending loop. Since you didn't have a lot of space in your one-person apartment, you had no choice but to let Beomgyu sleep next to you, his hands holding you close to him all night. You opened your eyes and saw him already looking at you, lips curling in happiness at the sight of you.

"Morning, Y/N!" he cheerfully said, stroking your back softly.

"Morning, Gyu. How do you feel?"

"Amazing, actually. What about you?"

"I'm… alright…" you whispered, trying to understand why he didn't act sick after his drunk state the other day; though, the boy had something else in mind.

He gently cupped your cheek with his hands, pressing his soft lips on yours. The kiss took you off guard, but you didn't lose any more time and kissed him back, full of feelings and love. You felt him smile, pressing his forehead on yours and looking at you softly.

"Say you love me, Y/N. That's all I want to hear right now. Say you love me till the end of the world."

"I love you, Gyu. I love you, and I'm so happy you remembered."

"I love you too, angel, I always did." he said, then pressed a sweet kiss on your cheek.

In the end, everything turned out to be worth it, as you ended up having your own happy ending story, next to the boy you've adored more than anything.

[ofthenoseclan]

merry and renko go

OUGHHHHMY GOD OKAY. OKAY YOUVBE MADE A GRAVE MISTAKE IM NOT WELL ABOUT THESE GIRLS. these are my second favourite characters in the entire touhou franchise as a unit and i have LOADS to talk about with them

renko and merry are the main characters of the "zun's music collection" concept records (not counting vol.1 which is standalone). these albums are compilations of rearranged music from the franchise, featured along with original compositions unique to the records. alongside them is a story booklet, and the tracks in the album are composed to convey its narrative through their melody. the stories themselves are written a lot like the script of a radio play, consisting primarily of dialogue between the duo.

set in a near-future setting suffering hard from the impacts of late-stage capitalism, the narrative of the concept records follows these two chuunibyou university students as they muse on daily life in their current society. the albums' stories are pretty much entirely self-contained from the rest of the franchise, making them a great entry point.

the blonde-haired girl is merry hearn (her real given name is maeriberii, which is just a keyboard-smash of katakana zun came up with to sound like an unpronounceable european name, but is ironically pretty hard to actually transliterate), a well-mannered girl who's outspoken, but often anxious and unsure of herself. she has the unique ability to see unexplainable phenomena, travel to other worlds in her dreams, and even bring objects in and out of them. a good chunk of the narrative is spent detailing how these two explore the extent of merry's talents.

to her left is her girlfriend, renko usami, a hyperactive, analytical, and curious woman interested in all things occult. she's extremely precise and accurate at measurements—enough that she can tell the time just from the way the stars are placed in the sky. she encourages merry to delve deeper into testing her abilities partly because she wants to see merry succeed, but partly because she's hopelessly fascinated with her and her powers.

the most enjoyable part to me isn't their dynamic itself though, but how it's used as a catalyst to touch on political satire and discussion of capitalism and consumerism. as i explained above, the future they live in is on the verge of collapse. the details are never explained, as most of our insight into it comes from the duo, who are both probably at least middle class if they're in college, so our information about the state of the world is tinted from the lens of people who aren't as affected as some people might be. but we do know quite a lot—climate collapse has already occurred, and many parts of land are underwater. science has progressed to the point that it's considered "solved", and anything unexplainable by science is swept under the rug by society at large because it's not beneficial for humanity to spend money to research it further. world hunger is paraded around as having been eliminated, but in reality it was likely only fixed because those unable to be fed have passed on. despite the state of the earth, the wage gap continues to increase, and society marches on like usual.

the duo is unsatisfied by the way the education system is built, with science being pitched as a cut-and-dry academic study with no further discovery to be made, so as a form of escapism they set up a two-person school club, the hifuu (sealed secrets) club, and explore paranormal happenings, which often leads to commentary on the state of the world in comparison to the wonderful occurrences they explore.

one of my favourite moments is in the fourth volume, bouyuu toukaidou ~ retrospective 53 minutes, where the pair take a train trip to meet renko's parents. the train runs underground since the ground level it used to travel was flooded, so there's a fake screen projecting what the surroundings used to look like built into the tunnel. at the end of their trip, merry notices a credits sequence displayed and remarks about how ironic it is to replicate a scene of nature that humans wiped out, then take credit for the image. there's all sorts of moments just like this throughout the series that i adore for their message.

another thing about these two is how prominent they are in yuri culture. their relationship is left very much out of the picture in canon, but the fanbase goes absolutely wild for it. it has left its mark on so many yuri authors, with a huge number of them producing doujins for the pairing before breaking out into professional work—some even continuing to release hifuu content after making a name for themselves outside the fandom as well! notable examples being nio nakatani, famous for bloom into you, and iori miyazawa, author of otherside picnic (which even started life as a fanfic starring the hifuu duo, before having their names changed to sorawo and toriko to stay legally distinct). even azuma aya, who illustrated one of the official touhou manga that zun wrote, did a very sweet oneshot featuring the pair which i recommend as a quick read :]

im gonna cut myself off now before i type about them for the rest of the night, but in conclusion: my GOD these bitches gay. good for them! good for them. they will bounce around in my mind until the end of time and they are the driving force of my favourite part of the entire franchise. i owe them my life savings

[weepingalaxy]

Hello I am asking for ool!Lalna lore 👀👀👀

hi its 4 am and im in a lot of pain so im writing this in a feverish state but i hope you understand how important it was for me to respond on the account of you activating my trap card (letting me infodump about my dnd character)

SO!! for a bit of preamble, he’s from a dnd campaign called Out Of Loop, dm’d by the fantastic @yogsbog !! its based on completely original lore while using a lot of yogs characters within it to populate the world while also being core parts of said lore. an example would be strife solutions tower being a prominent place within the city of evergrove, the “main hub” of sorts for the campaign. strife is even possibly our bbeg, which is fun

for a bit of context, the story so far is that we are all displaced in time through things called The Rifts, holes in spacetime that can lead to basically anywhere and anytime. the party is working together to close these Loops the rifts create, since as it stands, anyone and anythinh can come through these rifts and wreak havoc where they shouldnt. plus the rifts themselves are getting more and more unstable, so who knows whatd happen if they were left alone for too long?

my fellow players in the party in question are @strifesolution and @irished-lads !! the first, emma, playing her original character Scarlet Areleven, a parvill fankid oc whos the heart of the group and part of the reason the partys so kind to people they meet. the second, van/vanilla, plays Xaiden Lazulite, a mysterious elven man who is definitely not based on xephos no sir he is so very different. he’s more of a protector, and the other part of why their party is kind. or, for him at least, why the party Refuses to Kill Humanoids.

then there’s lalna! or, his real name, Layne Lockwood. that’s my character! he’s very complicated and kind of an emotional wreck of a bastard. and also the guy you asked about! so let me give you the rundown on the lore about him even my fellow players know :3

cw: child neglect and abuse, possession, dismembered limbs, gore, death

it’s a bit hard to know whee to start with him, but i guess i’ll go in chronological order with him! and ill do it in an easy to digest list as well

layne lockwood is the youngest child in a family of four, being thalion lockwood (father), clara lockwood (mother), and lomadia lockwood (older sister). thalion is a half elf, while the rest are all human. they lived in a smaller suburban town called East Maple

thalion found a rift inside their own home and begun to study it, with layne often coming into the office just to pretend to read along even from a young age. this turned out to be a mistake, as something came out of the rift and almost SLAMMED into layne, but disappeared out of sight as it did so. this shook up thalion so badly he figured the only safe way to continue his research and to find a cure for this strange new affliction layne has that keeps making him act wildly different, was to go through the rift himself, abandoning his family in hopes of one day coming back to fix everything

meanwhile clara, overworked, stressed, angry, and betrayed by her husband, was left alone with her children when she already didnt have the time for them. laynes strange behaviour was waved off as simply him causing problems, but after a terrifying encounter with the boy, ended with her locking him up in his room for good. he was only eight years old, and was taught from then on he’s something to be feared.

lomadia did what she could for layne, reading books about homeschooling kids and teaching him survival skills shes picked up on herself. he survived almost exclusively on the food she offered him and taught him to make himself (ususlly dried meats). shes all layne had during that time

well, not all.

layne heard a new voice in his head after that day, a voice of someone with no name other than one given on a whim: Livid. livid is a devil from the nine hells, the Something that left the rift, and the soul still possessing him to this day. when lomadia was busy, it was livid speaking to him or pulling at him to influence his actions towards violence. layne didnt understand, but they were his only friend.

when layne was 14, when his mother’s neglect was at its worst, he would finally give in to his friend’s suggestions. after endlessly working to break down the door keeping him locked up, he searched the house in a daze before reaching the kitchen, and grabbing a knife.

that evening was a blur, with layne only realizing what he’d done after the act. he saw his mother lying on the kitchen floor, having been dragged there by himself, with several stabwounds in her chest. layne doesnt think. he breaks a nearby window, and escapes into the forests that surround them, never to be seen again

an unknown amount of time is passed, a wild young blonde reaching a large abandoned office building in the outskirts of Evergrove. he decides to call it home, and with time and growing up needing to learn everything by hand, looting trash and stealing what wont be missed, he develops the office building into his lovingly called Tower. this is where he continues to live and develop until hes reached far past his mid 20s, though his exact age is unknown.

this is where he takes on the name of Lalna, a way for him to further disconnect from his past completely, and live on his own without anyone finding him. without anyone knowing hes still alive

alone

again.

… aside from his little brain buddy, of course. who, with time, has manifested more and more as a visual hallucination for him, too. a slender, staunch figure, as pale as lalna, with dusty blonde hair just like his, but with barbed chains and sunken eyes.

its also in the tower that he lost his right arm! he cut it off himself after livid toyed with him, made him see some form of black ink spilling from a long slit along the arm with an infection spreading in it. lalna panicked, and without thinking, removed it in a haze with a laser cutter he made himself. he then had to create a new one for himself, connecting with the help of magic, and giving him full control of his limb again

he still keeps that lopped off arm in a jar, just in case. and for emotional support

… and thats the last bit of what happened to him before the start of the campaign! that the party knows about, anyway. theres more but :3 secrets.. i hope this was an enjoyable read!!! lalna has been on the hunt for the rest of his family for a while, too, specifically his father as he genuinely believed he had killed lomadia too (but he didnt! shes still out there! hooray!) and he found him!! wow isnt that crazy! anyway yeah im insane over this guy is that at all clear yet

thank you for showing interest, im sorry for how melodramatic it is <3

[zermizomilk]

you know the drill :3 1. What is you middle name? 2. How old are you? 3. When is your birthday? 4. What is your zodiac sign? 5. What is your favorite color? 6. What’s your lucky number? 7. Do you have any pets? 8. Where are you from? 9. How tall are you? 10. What shoe size are you? 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 12. What was your last dream about? 13. What talents do you have? 14. Are you psychic in any way? 15. Favorite song? 16. Favorite movie? 17. Who would be your ideal partner? 18. Do you want children? 19. Do you want a church wedding? 20. Are you religious? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 24. Baths or showers? 25. What color socks are you wearing? 26. Have you ever been famous? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 28. What type of music do you like? 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 31. What position do you usually sleep in? 32. How big is your house? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 34. Have you ever fired a gun? 35. Have you ever tried archery? 36. Favorite clean word? 37. Favorite swear word? 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 39. Do you have any scars? 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 41. Are you a good liar? 42. Are you a good judge of character? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 44. Do you have a strong accent? 45. What is your favorite accent? 46. What is your personality type? 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 48. Can you curl your tongue? 49. Are you an innie or an outie? 50. Left or right handed? 51. Are you scared of spiders? 52. Favorite food? 53. Favorite foreign food? 54. Are you a clean or messy person? 55. Most used phrased? 56. Most used word? 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 58. Do you have much of an ego? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 60. Do you talk to yourself? 61. Do you sing to yourself? 62. Are you a good singer? 63. Biggest Fear? 64. Are you a gossip? 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 66. Do you like long or short hair? 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 68. Favorite school subject? 69. Extrovert or Introvert? 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 71. What makes you nervous? 72. Are you scared of the dark? 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 74. Are you ticklish? 75. Have you ever started a rumor? 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 77. Have you ever drank underage? 78. Have you ever done drugs? 79. Who was your first real crush? 80. How many piercings do you have? 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ 82. How fast can you type? 83. How fast can you run? 84. What color is your hair? 85. What color is your eyes? 86. What are you allergic to? 87. Do you keep a journal? 88. What do your parents do? 89. Do you like your age? 90. What makes you angry? 91. Do you like your own name? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? 94. What are you strengths? 95. What are your weaknesses? 96. How did you get your name? 97. Were your ancestors royalty? 98. Do you have any scars? 99. Color of your bedspread? 100. Color of your room?

THIS TOOK A WHILE TO SPACE LOL

alright tis the time again:

i won't answer anything when it comes to names just gonna say that

14

nov 26 one day before yours!

i looked it up "Sagittarius"

a minty green

26 or 09

yes

Europe

idk like 178-180 cm

42 i think? Europe size

like 4

kicking the shit outta slender man

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

prob not

punk tactics

Wonka

idk partner as in crime or marriage since im aro

nope

nah

No

yes

no

nope

showers

black like my entire wardrobe

no

maybe

my music taste is madness

nope

1

on my stomach or back i often move around

i don't know

sandwich, eggs, hotdogs etc

yes

yeah

bingus

Fuck

10?11 hours?

Yes

no

I think

no

yesnt

a little

no

idk how bout you tell me?

probably shoes those bitches are expensive even if they're not a popular brand

yes

innie

right

yes

eggs or pizza

nothing comes to mind

somewhere in the middle im usually dirty but then i clean everything up

an insult "You cock sniffling weasel"

Bitch

like 10-20 minutes

i don't think so

crunch because my teeth are tungsten

yes

not anymore

meh

loneliness

i prefer to keep it as black mail

idk don't watch many movies

long

no

art or gym

introvert

no

silence

no

some times

yes

no

yes

nope

no

never really had one

0 :']

i think

pretty meh

pretty fast

dark brown

bluish maybe greenish

nothing

no

im assuming for work mother works at an old persons home father is an electrical engineer

somewhat

alot of things

it's annoying but i have to deal with it

no

no

strong fast durable smartish

low endurance constantly tired

they just thought it sounded nice

no

yes

yellow ish like banana colour

mostly white

[thephantomthiefneito]

//ooc

rp sample for a Monoma audition thing in a server i wanted to share... grin!!

I couldn't really think of much to post on here and I want to try and post things daily so here's Monoma content!! eat up!

also im liek a beginner writer if u cant tell HELP.. im actually terrible in english class but im trying and learning pls dont eat me alive

The clocked ticked over and over again, piercing the ears of the blonde boy sitting nearby. His mind was too focused to pay it any attention to that.

Neito was always so quick to be drawn into a story. His eyes danced across the page, slowly absorbing every word and subtle metaphor. It was a mystery. One of his favorite genres. Horror and drama were also on that list but never romance. He tried to avoid those kinds of books all together. Sometimes it was unavoidable when an author hides hints of romantic tension between two characters but never explicitly states it. That he can handle, Though there's been a few times when romance steals the entire plot of the story but it was oddly never mentioned in the description. It happened stupidly often and ruined tons of good books for him. But this one seemed to be different. Written by an author he didn't even recognize, he was fully immersed in the story.

He had fallen in love with the plot. A boy attacked by a villain at a young age inspires him to become a hero and get revenge on his mothers murderer is suddenly framed for murder and is forced to drop out of his school and now has to search for the culprit and simultaneously run from the cops.

Right now in the story, the main character was in a life-or-death fight with his ex best friend who was the head of the case to track him down and lock him up. It was incredibly emotional and filled with feelings of betrayal. Neito would be lying if he said he didn't get the small implications of their relationship and feelings for each other prior to this but he tried not to think to hard about it. He was enjoying this book far too much to just put it down like he does with others. He has to find out what happens next. He needs to know how—

Suddenly, Neito felt a large hand on his shoulder and quickly turned around to find the source. Kendo.. Right. He was so absorbed in his book, he completely forgot he was meant to help her with the laundry..

" Silly me! I got lost in my book.. "

He spoke in a sarcastic, shrugging his shoulders as he held up the book he had been reading. He had a smile that Kendo didn't return. She didn't look happy at all.. And her words didn't seem any happier.

"I could have used the help.."

Her scowl bore a hole into his stomach and guilt became evident on his face.

" It's not like I did it on purpose! Really! I sat down to read for twenty minutes! The exact time you said it would take for you to gather all the clothes and-"

"And?"

" Well.. I forgot. "

It's actually really embarrassing. Normally, he wasn't this forgetful. He was very observant and had a memory like no other. But he's not perfect. Even Neito Monoma can make mistakes. Kendo sighed, looking off to the side.

"It's fine. I already finished it all.. But next time you're doing it all on your own. You got that?"

" Yes Sir! "

He nodded and watched as she left, letting out a huge breath of air. Maybe it was time to take a break from reading. He doesn't want to risk forgetting about any other promises.

[megarabane]

JUST SAW YOUR ASK ON HELLSITE-GENETICS AND NEEDED TO SEND YOU AN ASK!! /POS

you are like literally the person i want to be with the bird stuff i absolutely LOVE belted kingfishers they are so pretty. they are also one of my favorite birds (i have too many favorites i cant just pick one) but birds are so smart and their feathers are so cool like omg i love birds

im currently a small senior in highschool/sophomore in college and want more people who like birds in my life :))

anyway whats your favorite thing to study about birds? mine is how smart they are but also like how bluejays have the feathers that reflect the sun to show the blue :))

[id: screenshot of two text messages that say "oh good i get to get [sic] explain this to you" / "you will regret this" followed by the ellipses of someone typing. end id]

FELLOW BIRD ENJOYER SPOTTED

(sad my ask to hellsite-genetics didn't get me a bird tho but i did get the added satisfaction of knowing the goofy goober song is a member of the genus i exalted in my ask so all in all it's a solid win)

let me preface all of this with saying that while a lot of my experience with birds and learning about birds has been in a classroom setting i've also spent *checks watch* three summers now (including this upcoming one) doing field work working almost exclusively with birds in the midwest united states, so honestly a lot of the things i've learned have been incidental knowledge i've obtained working in the field. i'm not an *expert*, i just have a BS in environmental science and a lot of birding experience.

full slapshod essay rant of me going on about birds (edit: i just reread it and good GOD i went on for a while) of me talking about birds below the cut bc i already know this is gonna be far too long but you asked about my favorite thing in the world so this is on you my friend (affectionate)

i'm definitely ENRAPTURED with how smart birds are. They're so fucking intelligent it's almost scary.

since you brought em up imma talk about bluejays first!! i did part of a project my last year of college on bluejays!!

blue jays will often mimic the calls of other birds, esp predators like red-tailed hawks, with such accuracy that even bird id apps like Merlin (shameless plug) will mistake a mimicking bluejay for a real red-tailed. when i was doing audio surveys for northern bobwhites we had to have a separate training day where the only thing we focused on was how to tell if a mockingbird / thrasher / blue jay was mimicking the distinct bobwhite call and how that wasn't to be counted as a sighting.

(in my experience a lot of it has to do with pitch, repetition, and completion of what's considered the 'full song' of the NOBO, since a lot of mimids won't do the 'full song' and will just handpick bits to weave into the rest of their noises. bluejays especially will do this. mockingbirds will sometimes do the full song, but NOBOs have a pretty measurable repetition gap between their songs, at least in the areas we were doing surveys).

i remembered learning in a class that some bluejays will find bird feeders and spy on them, then mimic red-tailed and red-shouldered hawk calls to get the other birds to scatter, so they can then fly down and eat without having to fight for the tastiest bits.

when i was working with birds over the summer, one of the things we did was setting ground traps for mourning doves so they could be banded and then tracked for hunter take (they're a game species in my state). there were always blue jays in those traps. they're so fascinating to see up close, with their heavy bills and tough little feet and they're so full of rage. and they're loud.

also the thing about their FEATHERS - YES. it fucked me up to learn blue jays are naturally brown. iirc it has to do with the way the barbs on their feathers are put together with modified cells, which scatter the light in a special way to make them appear blue. If you get a bluejay feather in your hand it's only blue at certain angles and the undersides are almost usually completely brown unless you hold them in the light just so.

blue jays are part of the family Corvidae so it makes sense why they're so smart, in the family with other birds like ravens and crows.

well i didn't mean to go on for so long about blue jays. they are wonderful tho aren't they?? <3

my favorite thing to study about birds??? hoooooo boy what a question. everything?? is everything an option??

habitat effects on population size and habitat selection at the individual level is fascinating. i've done a lot of work with population studies, basically doing audio-visual surveys (point counts) of how many of x and y and z target species live in this area at a given point in time, then using that data to extrapolate potential population numbers in an area as narrow as a few square miles and as wide as the whole state (i worked for the state department of natural resources so we were focused only on our state obv).

in that effort, using that information to both directly and indirectly learn what environmental factors affect which bird species and how was so so interesting to me, and some of them are things so small we don't even think about them sometimes!! if there's as few as a handful of pine/cedar/evergreen trees in a field or grassland, you're far more likely to find cedar waxwings and indigo buntings, and you rarely see them in areas dominated by deciduous trees. red-winged blackbirds love wetlands, and while they aren't (iirc) specifically wetland-dependent, something as small as a single pond is enough to attract them in droves.

behavior is also such a cool topic to me, which i've learned more and more about just by birdwatching and attending bird-related conferences and working with wildlife biologists.

birds like the brown creeper are bark foragers that almost exclusively move upwards along a tree. they'll start at the bottom and move up, and once they reach a point they deem 'too high', they'll fly to the bottom of the next tree and move up. conversely, birds like nuthatches, still bark foragers, almost exclusively move down trees in the same way - they'll start at the top, forage downwards, and when they reach the bottom, they'll fly back to the top and do it again.

the yellow-bellied sapsucker (woodpecker family), as the name implies, eats a lot of sap, so they drill holes into a tree, like woodpeckers do, but they lay them down in 'bands' that run horizontally around the tree, often with multiple rows on top of each other, leading to a grid-like pattern of shallow holes only an inch or two apart from each other. that's often the best way to figure out where to look for sapsuckers when you're birding!! (apart from actually seeing or hearing the little guy, obv.)

incidentally, i learned that it's really really hard to put backpack trackers on henslow's sparrows, not bc they're so small and hard to catch, but because they're smart enough to realize there's a thing on their back and will, somehow, pull the backpack around to their front and completely mangle it beyond repair, and that's before they chew it off.

god i could go on forever. kestrels. ospreys. owls. nightjars. songbirds. fisherbirds. albatrosses. puffins. kinglets. sparrows. starlings. they're all so good and perfect and wonderful and fascinating and if i could learn everything about all of them forever i would.

in an extremely roundabout way of answering your question, if you're still reading and haven't run for the hills yet, i can't pick just one thing to call my favorite to learn about birds. everything about them is so interesting and makes me so excited to learn and see and talk about.

belted kingfisher lovers unite!

edit: I DIDN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT TURKEYS EITHER I'M DOING TURKEY RESEARCH TOO -

[quickdeaths]

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

I have a few, so in no real particular order

Dropping threads/not replying to starters without saying anything. I try to be communicative about things when I can (although I'm sure I don't always succeed) and I'm happy to make changes, or move things in a particular direction, do a timeskip, location change, whatever if the need is there. What I can't do anything about, though, is when someone drops a thread with me or sees a starter I wrote for them and decides not to respond without saying anything to me.

It puts me in a state of like "are they gonna reply? should I send them a message or would that be bothering them? if I send in a meme or like their starter call, will they be annoyed because we already have something and they're just working on it? I understand that not every thread can continue for 40+ replies, and not every starter is a 10/10 out the gate, but I can't know what's up if people won't tell me.

Blatantly ignoring easily-available information (especially for ship purposes). This doesn't happen too much anymore, but it used to happen with some frequency, where people who I barely knew, or hadn't written with much, would pitch me on things that contradicted some of the most basic things on my muses' pages. There's a lot to read and everyone makes mistakes on things sometimes, that's not really an issue, but, for example, on some of my other blogs there was a small pattern of people trying to pitch m/f ships for my lesbian characters, when my character's sexuality was like the third line from the top on my page.

Way too much OOC content. People can run their blogs as they like, and it's not my right to tell people what they can and can't do, however, something that personally drives me a little crazy is when I see a new RP blog that will make upwards of like ten posts a day that are aesthetic posts, OOC life updates, shipping calls, memes, and other miscellaneous posts, while answering IC memes or writing threads maybe extremely infrequently. I remember on another blog following someone, and at the point where I softblocked them, they were making three or four posts a day, without fail, and yet I had to go back over two months to find IC content. It's just not really compatible with how I like to handle my experience.

Blog hopping. I understand that there are valid reasons to archive or delete a blog and remake it, but occasionally I have seen people go through like a blog every month or two, or go from having a single-muse blog, to putting their character on their multi, to making a new single-muse, to remaking the multi and putting them there again, to putting them on a single-muse again, etc. etc. The explanation that I often hear is that people want a clean slate, or things got too crazy, they want to get away from some problem, or something like that, but then they will keep the same URL, the same aesthetics, re-follow all the same partners, keep the same ships, etc.

The analogy that I use is like, if you have bedbugs, moving to a new apartment but bringing the old frame, mattress, and bedding is not going to help you. Sooner or later you're going to have the same problems again. For me, as well, it's a struggle to keep up with past threads or interactions, conversations that might have been had in IMs, etc. if they're spread out across lots of different blogs. It's just not really an impulse I understand, and I find it disruptive, especially when consistently paired with dropping all threads and wanting to start new threads with the same characters.

[tiodolma]

Merlin saying “morgana will just harden arthur and uther’s heart”and him putting the blame on every other magic user who try to uppend the system for making magic look bad while he’s stays safe and hidden behind the castle walls and under the royalty’s protection is so deliciously ironic and hypocritic.

He’s not even piloting some kind of peaceful activism himself. He’s not even showing another means of peaceful revolt. He’s not even stirring up the hearts of people who think like him, that the pendragon heir is the right choice after all. If merlin and like-minded people wanted that change shouldnt it have been better that more people knew about arthur’s destiny with magic? Shouldnt there have been more social pressure on arthur to fulfill that? Why did that information only stay with a chosen very secretive few?

Coz look i get merlin’s motives. He doesnt want an arms struggle. He wants the change to be gradual and a smooth transition. The magic people and the current admin arent ready, etc, etc.

But how are people supposed to slowly change their stance on magic if he also isnt doing anything other than just protecting the pendragon heir without question and without recognition, without hint that magic was a weapon that can be used for safety?

Why do other magic users have to be the one to “show the way” and not him himself? Isn’t merlin just protecting his own ass while the embittered magic folk risk their own lives everyday, exposing themselves and fighting for their right to live everyday? Is it not unfair for merlin to expect good and peaceful things to miraculously happen while he keeps staying in secrecy and relative safety compared to others like him?

Enough of that. Say. He really thinks that protecting the oppressor’s life by playing God again and again is the path to justice is the right thing. Fine.

It’s still not enough. Coz his champion is ignorant and Highly Dismissive of the values he is supposed to represent in Merlin’s head: freedom for magic, fairness, equality. Arthur is stubborn and willfully blind and entrenched in his own prejudices and uprbringing.

Merlin’s tactic of “i’ll tell him whats wrong and hopefully he will listen if not i will sulk and arthur will be upset that im upset so maybe he’ll reconsider but often he will not until he realizes his mistake because bad sht that i warned about already happened then he will begrudgingly do what i told him to in the first place” isnt enough.

Merlin is just one man, he’s a man that is so low in rank compared to his supposed best friend, the head of state, that his words dont really matter until they do and its only usually because of arthur’s bruised ego.

More people should tell Arthur off jfc. The nobility, the masses, the other kingdoms. They should have all been able to apply pressure on Arthur, not just Merlin or Gwen.

Look this is what merlin needed to really spearhead his ideas or wtv bullsht the prophecy entailed

Merlin had to apply pressure on the monarchy on all fronts.

Launch a propaganda machine, spread the word that arthur is going to bring back magic. Like do write ups, spread pamphlets , give the masses smth to think about and do it under a false name, etc.

Collaborate with others who think like him and Not Hide (difficult to do since gaius loves to rat out and help imprison these kind of magic-kin despite him believing in the same prophecy)

Find a way that Arthur hears those rumors, actually drop hints that magic was protecting the kingdom all along. If not Merlin himself, then Arthur must hear those rumors of him being savior of magic from more people.

Find some noble who is sympathetic to their cause at least. (Like how morgana had agravaine and helios... that means powerful people LIKE THAT existed in merlin’s world. It is also possible that somebody out there would have allied with him and give merlin better political backing if he just tried -moot point again cause gaius would just rat them out to the king and advise against it)

Jfc Merlin should just step into his role as kingmaker in the light. I mean he already is one but he is denial.

i get what everyone here is thinking. This is too smart and “manipulative.” This is something like what Morgana and the other magic-folk do.

Then That means the magic folk were already doing so many kinds of protests and machinations to send their own message. The lot of them didnt even need to kill. They played by the rules of kingdom-making and used politics/established social order as a sort of protest to inspire the change they needed.

Example the Unicorn Guy did so much economic damage that people started to doubt the Pendragon dynasty’s claim to power. It was bad for the Pendragons’s image but good news for the magic folk since the ordinary citizens will just turn against the ruling dynasty on their own! That is an example of an effective non-arms struggle btw! It’s smart and a not a lot of people will have to die unecessarily! And it kind of spurred a temporary change of heart for arthur too!

My point is. Merlin. If he really wanted social change. Should have worked smarter and more efficiently. Governmental change will never happen with just one miracle event.

Most of the successful ones happen when the masses AND the ruling class have the same goal. If Arthur was truly a people of the masses and ruling class, then he would try to satisfy their demands in order to prevent riot or defection.

But what do i know? Maybe knowledge and tactics more complicated than “eliminate threat permanently asap” are inherently evil after all.

[sxtaep]

tw: medical malpractice, negligence, blood it is sososo late right now but i really need to get something off my chest

ever since june 2022, i’ve had this recurring cyst appear on my back which would generally disappear after taking a course of antibiotics but the only issue was the problem would persist on a monthly basis. it was at first east to manage, i was still physically able to go into work and live my life as normal, but around august it started getting a little harder but thankfully when it happened it august, i was on annual leave so i was able to rest on it for two weeks before returning to work.

when the cyst appeared in october, once again i was prescribed antibiotics however the pain was almost unbearable to the point i had to go to a&e and wait overnight to be seen by a doctor who only advised me to continue taking my antibiotics and also referred me for surgery, WHICH WAS SCHEDULED FOR FEBRUARY 2023 but it was useless since the cyst cleared up again after about two weeks.

come to december 8th, the cyst came back and i was ONCE AGAIN prescribed antibiotics (which didn’t do anything) and after a few days my condition worsened to the point where i woke up one morning (december 10th) unable to sit straight, stand straight, walk properly without hunching over and that’s when my mum forced me to go to a&e.

i was waiting there for hours until i was seen by the doctor who determined i’ll have to have surgery that evening and will be required to stay overnight and of course, my mum and i were completely unprepared for that so my mum was making trips back and forth from the hospital to gather my things for the overnight stay.

i was briefed on what the surgery would consist off and precautions to anaesthesia and so on and i went into surgery and came out safely. i felt no pain when i came out and everything was going well.

i stayed overnight and was given the all clear to be discharged the following day, and the nurse who was looking after me advised me on how often to take pain killers and my new course of antibiotics and she also stated i’ll have to make trips to my gp nurse everyday to have my wound dressing and packing changed.

the day after, i go to my doctors office and meet the nurse there, who i pretty much end up seeing everyday for three weeks and she pretty much cleans my wound, changes the stuffing in the wound and dresses the wound again.

it seemed things were looking up, the nurse said it was healing super fast and after my last appointment before new year’s eve, she said i could take off the dressing after 2 days and that’ll be it for treatment.

the next day after my final appointment however, i started feeling pain again, the pain was like how it was before i got surgery and it was super painful so i booked an emergency appointment with my nurse after new year’s day and turns out the area surrounding my wound was extremely inflamed and hot and red, so ONCE AGAIN, i was prescribed antibiotics to tackle it.

i thought that was all, up until wednesday january 4th, that morning i woke up feeling something set and damp on my back and i was super confused, so i called my mum and asked her to come and check on me so she came into my room and saw a ton of blood all over my bed and my back (looked like a murder scene) and i was thinking wtf where did this blood come from im not even on my period.

i called 111 asap and they directed me to the hospital and as it would turn out, my surgery wound burst while i was asleep due to poor care. apparently, the nurse at my doctors office didn’t stuff and dress my wound properly during those three weeks so only the top part of the wound healed and not the inside, now making the wound even more deeper than it already was.

i was told to complain or try and sue the nurse but i couldn’t, she was too sweet and i genuinely think it was an honest mistake she made in my recovery.

now my recovery time has increased to 6 months, now going back to making trips to the doctors office EVERYDAY to stuff and change my wound dressing and that shit HURTS SO BAD i don’t think i can continue doing this everyday.

i literally can’t remember what my life was like before all of this, i’ve been off work, less socialising, pain overpowers my attention and i can never sleep at night out of fear i’m going to hurt my back. i can’t walk outside without someone with me to hold onto (can’t walk properly, i can only waddle).

every time i think negatively about my situation, i always remind myself that there are people out there who have it so much worse than i do and i need to suck it up and deal with it.

i hope i will be better in the next couple weeks maybe months even because i can’t move as normally as i used to and it hurts physically.

things will get better i hope 😁

[kyokiiro]

Pookie could you do Serval with a fem! S/O who has a limp and is often made fun of cause of it?

(No im not basing this on my who told you that ha ha ha ha ha.....)

I'm here for you

Synopsis - Serval with a female!reader who has a limp and finding out she's getting made fun of it

Warnings/content - Men dni!!, fem!reader(prns not mentioned), hurt/comfort, mentions of bullying, use of pet names, protective!serval, use of swear words, insecure!reader, tons of comfort, established relationship, description of blood, possible grammar mistakes, not proofread - wc: 1.3k

A/N: I had to search what i limp was, but im hoping i wrote the correctly, but lmk if i did smth wrong! (i love serval sm, shes my fav 4 star as of rn). This is probably my favorite fic so far, but is quite long.. This turned out way more angsty then intended-

Tags: no one yet

Serval loves you to death, that's for sure. She doesn't care that you have a limp. She loves you in any way (even if you were a worm). Serval has only been kind and helpful towards you. Getting ice packs for you whenever your pain gets to bad, making sure you do certain exercises to not make it worse, making sure you also get as much rest as possible, etc.

You really appreciate Serval for helping you, but it makes you feel like a burden to her. Which is the reason why you haven't told her yet that you are getting made fun of. You don't wanna burden her any further . Serval seemed to notice something was off with you and asked what is bothering hoping to help you with it, but instead you answer that it's nothing. Serval didn't believe that one bit, but she didn't wanna make you uncomfortable so she didn't pry any futher

You thought you could keep this away from her, untill they went to far. The person who made fun of you pushed you a bit to hard that you fell on the ground, gaining a nasty wound on your knee. You mentally cursed when you saw blood dripping on the concrete ground. You knew well enough you couldn't hide this from Serval, no matter how hard you tried. Your bully was already long gone when u got up, probably because they knew that they screwed up. You too knew that they won't get away without facing Serval's wrath.

You stumbled into Serval's workshop hoping she was anywhere else but here, but that came all crashing down when you heard the all familar cheery voice of Serval.

‘‘Oh hey babe! I've been looking for you everywhere.’’ Serval exclaimed with a small sigh of relief

‘‘Ah, sorry if you worried Serv. I-I was just.. uhm taking a walk!’’ you replied trying not to sound like you're hurt. You heard the sound of her heels approaching you. ‘‘No, no, it's fine love. I was just wondering where you we-’’ Serval's words where cut off when she saw the state you where in.

She immediately rushed to you, worry written all over her face. "What happenend? Are you okay?" asked with visible concern in her voice.

‘‘I'm fine Serval, i just tripped’’ you tried muttered trying not to wince. ‘‘Well clearly you're not fine, you knee is fucking bleeding!’’ she answered with harshness evident in her tone. You flinched at her tone and that did not go unoticed by Serval. Her demeanor softened, but the harshness still remained. ‘‘I'm sorry (name).. i didn't mean to scare you like that, but you're not fine. Your knee is bleeding, so let me take care of it. Okay?’’ she replied with the same gentleness she always treated you with.

‘‘I- Okay..’’ you mumbled in defeat, knowing she won't take no for an answer. Serval carefully guided you to a chair and asked you to stay still while she went out to go get a first aid kit. It took a few minutes till Serval came back with the aid kit and seated infront of you. She first cleaned the blood off, then carefully inspected the wound. You heard her curse under her breath.

‘‘The wound is quite deep, i need to put on some antibiotic oil on there to refrain from it infecting, so it's gonna sting for a second.’’ Serval explained. You grimaced at the words, but nodded nevertheless. Serval gave you thigh a small squeeze of reassurance. She grabbed the antibiotics and smeered it on her hands.

‘‘Okay, i'm gonna put in on now.’’ she spoke. You winced at the sting that you felt. ‘‘I know baby. It hurts, but i'm almost done.’’ Serval cooed. You just let out a small hum. When Serval was done putting the antibiotic oil on you wound, she wrapped a bandage around it, to prevent it from bleeding.

‘‘All done! see that wasn't so bad now was it gorgeous?’’ Serval spoke with a soft smile adorning her face. ‘‘I suppose it wasn't to bad’’ you mumbled. Serval gave you small peck on the cheek, before letting out a sigh. ‘‘Hey (name), i wanna talk about something i have noticed.’’

Your breathe hitched, you really hoped she won't ask you about the one thing you tried keeping away from her. ‘‘I wanna talk about how you have been acting lately.’’ Serval continued. Eveything started to freeze in time for you for a second before snapping out of it.

‘‘Uhm.. uh, I don't know what you mean Serval.’’ you nervously said avoiding eye contact with her.

‘‘I feel like you are hiding something from me (name).’’ Serval muttered. ‘‘You have been acting off for a few weeks now and it's worrying me..’’ she explained, taking hold of your hand. You bit the inside of your cheek debating whether to tell her or not. After a dreading silence you spoke up: ‘‘I'm sorry for worry you Serval, but theres a something i was supposed to tell you way sooner..’’ you murmured trying to hold back a sob.

‘‘You probably want to know why i always wear sweaters, why i act so nervous and all. Well uhm.’’ you took a deep breath. ‘‘I have been made fun of behind your back. That's also the cause of the wound of my knee..’’ you avoided eye contant with Serval to prevent from the dam that's holding you back from becoming a sobbing mess.

You continued speaking: ‘‘The sweaters i used were to hide the bruises i got and the reason i'm always s nervous is because i didn't wanted you to find out..’’ you shakily admitted.

Serval was speechless. She had so many questions, but the lump in her throat made her unable to ask them.

‘‘Why..?’’ was the only word Serval could muster up. She grabbed her girlfriends chin. The sight of your saddened eyes made her heart shatter. ‘‘Why?’’ she repeated while wiping away the tears in the corner of your eyes that you didn't even notice they were there.

‘‘I-I just.. I’’ you stumbled over your words holding back tears. ‘‘I didn't wanna burden you any further that i already am. That's why i didn't told you..’’ you muttered while a sob came out of your mouth.

‘‘Burden me..? what do you mean by that name.’’ Serval questioned

‘‘I feel like a burden to you Serval. You already waste your time by taking care of me! I feel like if i told you this it would add more weight on your shoulder than you already have.’’ you sobbed

‘‘Oh baby.. you were never a burden nor did i waste my time on you. You know why? It's because i love you okay. I care about you, more than you know. You wll never be a burden to me, do you understand that (name).’’ You weakly nodded, to exhausted to answer.

Serval pulled you in a hug and made a circular montion on your back. You sobbed into her shoulder, sputtering apologies over again. Serval hushed you before kissing your forehead. ‘‘Don't apologize (name). You did nothing wrong.’’ Serval reassured you while comforting you

After a couple of minutes passed. Your sobbed turned into sniffles still flushed against Serval. ‘‘I-I still feel bad for not telling you sooner..’’ you murmured

‘‘(Name) please look at me.’’ Serval gently asked. You reluctantly pulled away from Serval's embrace. ‘‘Theres nothing to feel bad about. I'm proud of you that you even told me. Just promise me that you will tell me if this happens again and remember that i'm here for you.’’

‘‘I promise to tell you.’’ you rasped. ‘‘I love you Serval.’’ you mumbled while nuzzling back into her shoulder.

‘‘I love you too (name).’’ Serval softly whispered back.

Reblogs are appreciated!!

@𝒌𝒚𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒊𝒓𝒐★ 2024 – do not copy, repost, steal, or translate my work onto any platform or feed them to ai.

[ohmrcrow]

Brithday hell thyme!!!

jokes aside, this brithday is very bittersweet for me. I don't often open up pubicly about my current state and feelings but fuck it this is my blog.

Content Warning // Suicide, Trauma, Emptiness, Loneliness, Low Self Esteem, and Gender Dysphoria

It's not only the age thing, but also everything that has happened up to this point; this very point where I'm writing this blog right now. Ik people would say everything happens for a reason, but i still question and often wish things have gone differently espcially since I'm left with scars such as trust issues, nightmares, and trauma im not going to get into.

I'm in an okay state but i still feel empty inside somehow.

I know, and have been told it's not worth chasing friendships i've lost, But i still do kinda miss them and all the postive memories i have about them. Although, It's nice not having to hear/deal with drama every single fucking day, not having a shit sleep schedule because i stayed up too late in one vc, no longer dealing with the constant thought of wanting to off myself everday and the feeling of everyone around hates me but kept me around for some reason.

It's finally nice to have some peace and clarity for once, but sometimes it gets too quite to the point i hear my own thoughts, made up senarios and sometimes even relapse into my own bad behavior. i already kinda relapse but I'm picking myself back up again.

And on top of this, i've been trying to figure out my own gender identity and even been dealing with dysphoria, and my own low self esteem.

It's difficult for me to come to terms with everything but I sorta moved on (not really, I'm still struggling with that), but every now and then i suddenly think about my whole life and everything that had happened. I know i was a very toxic person back then, my hyper activeness didnt help at all, and i made alot of terrible decisions, have done a lot of terrible shit, i've caused a lot of pain to others and was pretty much a peice of shit.

It's now my job to keep learning from my mistakes, from my poor behavior in the past, and to teach others so they don't make the same mistakes i did, or not go through the same suffering. I'm no saint, but it's the best i can do as of now.

I'm very grateful for my friends being there for me, and my family for helping me get the professional help i need. I'm also thankful for all the birthday wishes, Here's an extra doodle of me and my friend to lighten the mood since we both share the same birthday.

Anyways, i hope to whoever is reading this. I hope you have a wonderful day, evening, or night! 💕✨