#and I love how she tries so hard to be better than her parents

[hismercytomyjustice]

Ngl I really enjoyed Via’s arc in Sinsmas. She is just SO MUCH like her father that it both delights and hurts me lol.

Their relationship is an interesting take on struggling to try to break the cycle of abuse/neglect.

Stolas grew up with his father not even knowing his name or showing him a shred of affection. He was a means to an end, a tool. The only way he’s ever received any kind of acknowledgement from his father is by doing his duty. Mastering his powers, entering into an arranged marriage, and producing an heir.

You can just so clearly see how he is trying SO HARD to give Via a different life. He wants them to be a family. For her to never doubt her parents love her. To be the father he never had.

To the point he shoves his own wants and needs so far down that he is barely holding on.

Via going from accusing him of not loving her to realizing that he loves her so much that he forced himself to play the role of a good father and husband. To the point he destroyed himself for her…

And that realization just devastates her.

Stolas getting involved with Blitz was the culmination of decades of forcing himself to be the person everyone else expected him to be. He feels he can’t be loved, but he can be useful. And maybe if he’s useful enough, people will care about him.

The reason his connection with Blitz is so strong is because both of them feel that way. The difference is that Blitz was able to create his own found family (tho it took him ages to realize it lol) while Stolas has always been alone. They’re two sides of the same coin. And while Blitz has spent the past few years healing, Stolas has been descending further into darkness because he doesn’t have that same support.

Via has absorbed so many of his insecurities. Especially the fear of not being loved or wanted despite Stolas trying SO HARD to be the perfect father to her. But he’s not. He can never be because he forgot the old adage of “put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else.”

I think that definitely can come across as him being neglectful of her. But to me it speaks to his desperation to be such a good father to her that he tries to hold himself to IMPOSSIBLE standards.

He doesn’t fail Via because he doesn’t care. He fails her because he keeps setting up these unrealistic expectations for their relationship. He massively overextends himself and puts his own wants and desires on the back burner so often that his life is imploding around him out of his control.

He doesn’t miss the stars with her because he doesn’t care. He misses them because he’s struggling to put his life back together after finally taking some initiative for himself. He’s trying to deal with the fallout of wanting a divorce from Stella, but he’s waited so long and he’s so overwhelmed by it all that the date slips his mind. And the instant he realizes what’s happened, he drops everything and goes looking for her.

Via keeps watching him make these promises he struggles with or fails to keep and doesn’t realize until she finds all of the happy pills how much he’s overextended himself for her sake. And because she’s her father’s daughter, she immediately thinks she’s at fault. She thinks he would be happier if he hadn’t forced himself to play house all these years for her sake.

She’s not wrong. If he’d separated from Stella years before, they’d probably all be better off. But he didn’t because of his sense of duty. Stolas’s problem is that he never advocates for himself until he reaches his literal breaking point. By then, the damage is more of a tsunami than a ripple because now his meticulously crafted house of cards is falling down around him faster than he can pick up the pieces.

Via is right that he would have been happier, but not for the reasons she thinks. He did it because he loved her, not out of obligation for her. And also because he is deeply broken and flawed.

Via’s dealing with a lot of complicated emotions too. Her father was willing to sacrifice himself for his affair partner, which she initially believes means he’s picking Blitz over her. But really it’s just Stolas trying to save the only other person in his life who understands him and who maybe cares about him.

How could he live with himself if he let Blitz die?

And it’s not like Stolas has time to sit down and think of a rational plan. He rushes to the trial because Blitz is literally about to be decapitated. And then he saves him the only way he knows how. I think part of him was also convinced that, as much as he loves Via, she might actually be better off without him because he is a wreck. He’s convinced he’s ruined his life and the lives of everyone around him.

I think this is why he doesn’t fight Stella much for custody of Via. Not because he doesn’t care, but because he genuinely thinks Stella is a more stable parent than he is and that Via will be better off with her as a result. The man also lacks a backbone too tho because his self worth is -9000.

But then Stolas doesn’t get executed. And the consequences of his actions hit him like a ton of bricks once the adrenaline and panic wears off. He saved Blitz, but at what cost? And, based on his statement in Sinsmas, it sounds like he would’ve done it all over again if given the chance. Because he’s the one who let Blitz use his grimoire even though he knew it was wrong. Because Blitz was in danger of dying because of him. And because he has a very strong sense of morality and justice too.

Dying in Blitzo’s place was a spur of the moment decision and once the dust cleared, Stolas realized how everything he’s tried to do to keep his shit together has fallen apart at the seams and now everyone knows it.

All Via can see when she looks at him now is that he’s hit rock bottom because of her. Again, not true. But Stolas has tried so hard to give her this idyllic family life, thinking that was the best thing he could do for her. Not realizing that she could see the cracks forming. She just didn’t understand why there were cracks until now.

I don’t think Via actually hates him. I think she hates herself. Convinced she’s the reason he’s hit rock bottom. Why couldn’t she see how much he was suffering? Why would he suffer so much for her? So she’s taking herself out of the equation, just like he tried to with Blitz. If she’s not in his life anymore, maybe he’ll stop killing himself to try to make her happy. Maybe he’ll stop being so miserable.

I think a big part of their arc together has been her going from thinking of Stolas as this perfect and larger than life figure to seeing him start to crumble and now getting a peek behind the curtain and realizing how much of that wasn’t real. And it scares and upsets her that her dad isn’t the perfect person he’s tried to be for her. He’s broken and hurting and she doesn’t know what to do to help because he’s spent her whole life focusing on her.

Not to say that he’s done that well. He genuinely hasn’t. He’s overcorrected so hard that he’s fucked her up in a completely different way because he’s overextended himself. He pushed himself until the illusion of a perfect happy family cracked along with him. He’s also made it difficult for her to know how to help him because he’s sheltered her so much.

I think this sometimes makes Stolas come across as selfish. He seemingly “ruined” his marriage and his relationship with his daughter for Blitz. But really it was just the pendulum swinging wildly in the opposite direction. He was so starved for happiness and connection that now he’s trying to live two separate lives and it’s just not possible and he’s falling apart even faster.

Stolas was so desperate for affection and to be of use that he lets Blitz have his grimoire, under the impression Blitz is attracted to him because Blitz literally tried to seduce him to get it. He also does all of the dirty talk because he thinks Blitz likes it.

I think he initially sets the terms for the grimoire usage because he thinks it’s a price Blitz is more than willing to pay because he showed up trying to seduce him. I think he l also just really wants an excuse to see/spend time with Blitz too. It doesn’t even cross his mind that Blitz might want anything other than sex from him. He’s once again playing a role based on what he thinks is expected of him.

It’s not until Stolas discovers he’s starting to develop feelings for Blitz that he realizes their arrangement is wrong. And the moment he realizes it, he immediately tries to make amends. He hopes Blitz will admit he has feelings for him too, but is willing to step away if not. But he also cares about him so much, he makes sure to give him the Asmodean Crystal so he can freely make the choice.

Meanwhile he has no idea Blitz will just view this as another person trying to abandon him or look down on him. Because Blitz struggles with self worth too and believes the only way people will care about him is if he can be useful. Blitz has a deep seated fear of abandonment while Stolas fears no one could ever love him just for himself. He offers Blitz the crystal to let him know his feelings are genuine and to gauge Blitz’s too.

All of this is to say that I think Via and Stolas will reconcile, hopefully sooner rather than later. I think Via needs some time to process who her father actually is vs who she thought he was. And both of them need to be able to forgive themselves/grant themselves some grace so they can finally meet each other in the middle like Stolas has finally managed with Blitz. Stolas needs to accept Via is grown up now and he can’t shield her from the negatives of the world forever. Meanwhile Via needs to understand everything doesn’t have to be so black and white.

[xoxo-sarah]

Okay here is another idea because I love spamming you with them! It’s for our Stevie boy! Okay so basically neither Steve or the reader have had good role models for relationships. So because of this they kinda have a bad relationship, but know this so they sit down and talk and make a promise not to yell or storm out. So they fight and the reader is like whatever and leaves but Steve yells. It’s just their way of showing they care(the reader doesn’t like to fight so they leave to cool off and Steve needs to talk it out). Again this one is really just for me because I’ve never had a good relationship and my one relationship I had I dipped when things got semi hard 🤦🏼‍♀️ but like she tries that after they had their talk and Stevie won’t let her blah blah happy ending please because I need happy endings

Promises Between Us

(The headers have nothing to do with the fic but I didn't know what else to put)

↝a/n: quick fic. thank you for requesting! Enjoy 🩷 ily 💋

↝pairing:Steve Harrington x fem!reader

↝warning: relationship problems, bad family issues, parent issues/ arguing, Steve's parents mentioned, crying, not proofread & rushed

|| Disclaimer: I do not own Steve Harrington, or any character from Stranger Things. I only own y/n and any characters I create with my own brain. ||

↝⎙ 12.23.24

Steve was terrible at relationships.

He had never been good at them and would let you know if you were to ask him.

Growing up, he didn't have the best examples to follow. His parents were always away, and when they were home, they barely spoke to each other. Out in public, they had the "white picket fence and happy couple" fecade perfected. Honestly, it irritated how fake his parents were. They were the perfect couple to anyone who looked their way.

You, on the other hand, had your own set of issues. Your parents fought constantly, and you learned early on that sometimes it was better to just walk away. All the grief you felt as a child, stuck with you through your children, teenage years, and the start of your adulthood. It probably always will.

When Steve and the you started dating, you both knew it wouldn't be easy. You both cared deeply for each other, and tried to make it work with everything in your being.

But the past made it hard to navigate the complexities of a relationship, some days. You had your fair share of arguments, and more often than not, they ended with you storming out and Steve yelling after you. You always came back, and Steve always apologized. He made sure to make it up to you. You spent more time together, talking, asking each other about the other's day. Anything to erase what was said in the heat of the moment.

Today was one of those days where it was all too much. Steve came home from work, pissed. You simply woke up in a mood. Those two didn't mix well together. After one small comment, it all unravelled.

"You're not listening!" The words echoed through the house, yet seemingly not making their way to Steve, who stood heaving in fury.

"I don't want to deal with this right now- i shouldn't have to!" Steve scrubbed his jaw, feeling it clench.

You two stood across from each other, tired, yet too stubborn to see it from the other perspective.

Closing your eyes, you sighed, "Whatever, Steve." And walked to the bedroom, already getting ready for bed at 5 P.M. Steve stayed in the living room, grabbing something to drink. You both needed to cool off, and that's exactly what you were going to do.

Steve tiptoed his way to the bedroom, with night having already fallen. He stood in the door way, watching as you read a book while leaning against the bedframe. His chest fell.

"I'm sorry."

When you looked up, Steve immediately wanted to kick himself. Around your eyes was red, along with under your nose. The tissue box on the bedside table didn't help extinguish his assumption. You had been crying.

"I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have brought it home and taken it out on you." He moved forward, toward you. Putting the book down, you sniffled, before nodding.

"Yeah, and I should've been more understanding." You watched as he sat beside you on the bed, before he grabbed your hand.

" I don't like arguing."

So, you both made the promise: no more yelling, no more storming out. You would talk things through, no matter how hard it got.

But promises are easier made than kept.

A few weeks later, you found themselves in the middle of another argument. This time, it was about something trivial, but it quickly escalated. You felt the familiar urge to leave, to cool off before things got worse. The living door invited you more and more as the argument escalated. Air, and quiet. That's all you wanted in the moment.

"Whatever, Steve," you said, turning towards the door.

"Wait," Steve's voice broke, desperate. His dark eyes were pleading, any hint of anger long gone. "We promised, remember?"

You stopped, hand on the doorknob. "I just need some space."

"No," he said, stepping closer. "We need to talk this out. I can't lose you."

Tears welled up in your eyes. "I don't want to fight." The air that had become thick from the tension, released. Vulnerability aired out the living room, nipping at your fingertips like the cold weather in December.

"Neither do I," he said softly, taking your hand. "But leaving won't solve anything. Please, stay."

Looking into his eyes, you saw the sincerity there. Slowly, you nodded. "Okay."

You sat back down, and for the first time, you both really talked. You shared your fears, your insecurities, and your hopes for the future. It wasn't easy, but it was a start.

By the end of the night, you were both exhausted, but there was a new understanding between you two. You knew it wouldn't be perfect, but you were willing to try.

Steve pulled you into his arms, holding you close. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered.

"Me neither," you replied, resting your head against his chest.

•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•

•My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [I don't give permission!]

[thesugarchanotaku]

Let's talk about Octavia

With the newest helluvaboss episode out and season two cming to an end there was a lot of discussion about Octavio even before the epsiode dropped. That's why i decided to look at her a little more in depth. Spoiler ahead (duh)

My realtionship with Octavia is kinda rookie. I love this asexual queen as much as her dad but find myself a little annoyed at her behaviour sometimes. Let's recap what we know about her.

Octavia is a royal teen, deeply loved by her father, troubled by the divorce of her parents and 17 years old. But if we look past the more obvious characteristics there is a lot going on in subtext.

Octavia is oblivious: Octavia grew up quite sheltered and as much as it is understanable (since they tried to assissinate stolas at loo loo land) that she is well protected the problem is that she has little to no clue about the outside world. Much like her father in the recent episode she is seen being scared of the world in seeing stars. She is THAT unaware that she was walking around without a disguise in broad daylight.

Octavia loves her father: So you might ask where the problem is for that point. She sees Stolas as JUST her father. She fails to see Stolas as a person with needs, wants, dreams and wishes. We have to point out that Octavia is never seen with any other people despite her parents (not counting loona in seeing stars). So it's save To assume that she is quite isolated and ultimately fixated to on her parents.

Octavia lacks comparission: As we grow up we compare. We always do. It helps us to decern right from wrong. The outside world helps us contextualize. Octavia probably never had that. Growing up with mostly her parents she has no other love relationships to look at and compare. Therefore she might not see Stella as an evil person like we do. For us the audiance it is hard to understand why she always puts her mother next to her while talking to Stolas and about the broken "family". But forOctavia Stella is an integral part of her life. (As a mother should be) She has no chance to see the behaviour of her mother as toxic and harmful, because that is how her mother ALWAYS was. Its the only thing Via knows. She cant understand why her father was "fine" with the antics of her mother until a certain point and "suddenly" isnt anymore.

Octavia is a child: That point kinda put me at odds a long time. My parents divorced when i was 12 and I could understand the situation better than her. Octavia is nearly an adult. Most children her age don't want to be that close to their parents, they want to be free, start their own live. Octavia doesn't. She clings to memories, to promises her father made to her and she just feel so so SO young. She tries to be that edgy teen but she feels way more like a child. Which isnt exactly bad but plays a huge part in her character.

Octavia and Stolas

The relationship of father and daugther hit a fallout and it was important that it happened because both characters need to GROW up.

While Stolas never had the chance to grow into his very own charcater due to the fact that his life was planned out for him, he tried to shelter Via from the same fate by protecting her and sacrificing for her. He did basically the other extreme of what he experienced.

Stolas slowly grows into himself, making decisions for himself and realizes that while having the freedom to make decisions for yourself is great, the consequences are yours to bear too. And he just realized how overwhelming these consequences can be in the recent epsiode.

Via on the other hand still needs to grow up. The fallout with her father is over due because stolas isnt JUST her father. She tries to remind him of his role on every step he takes further to himself - his true self.

Octavia needs to finally learn about the world, how healthy relationships look like, and what her father truly did for her. Right now she is angry and dissapointed and from her perspective she has every right to be but she lacks the understanding for her own father. It shows how little she truly knows about the relationship of her parents. She need to question why her father took pills rather than judging him for it. She needs to ask why her mother is so degrading towards him rather than accepting it as a given. She needs to see the true intentions of her uncle and mother rather than overlooking it.

and there clearly is hope. She protected her dad, still called him dad and i belive that if both of them grow and want to mame an effort it can work out. If Via learns more about her parents and the world - if she manages to grow up both father and daughter can grow into a healthy relationship. And if it takes a bruning bridge for now, than so be it but I'm certain that they will find each other again sooner or later.

[princess-charlie-of-hell]

Unpopular opinion (I think?)

The fandom needs to accept that Lilith is allowed to be flawed mother, wife and person without being treated like a monster

How was she supposed to perfectly know how to be a mother, she never had any parents from which she could learn to be one. Even parents who grew up in perfectly healthy families aren't perfect parents. She never was a child and therefore doesn't know how hard it is to go through puberty and other parts of growing up

She literally was one of the two first humans and i can image that neither Lilith nor Lucifer knew what it means to be in a super perfect relationship, Adam, Lilith first partner, literally demanded Liliths submissions which caused Lilith to meet Lucifer in the first place. So how is she supposed to know what a healthy relationship is supposed to be.

And from what we know so far fell Lucifer in depression after their fall and this can be hard for a relationship even if it was a healthy one. There was not really therapy invented to this time and for the next like thousand years or more. So how is she supposed to know what the perfect things are to do in this situation so maybe she did things which she thought would be right for him even if she it was wrong because she doesn't know better

We also don't really know how everything which happened affected her yet, we know that she motivated hell but that doesn't mean that she can't be traumatized as well

But from what we know what happened to her, it is just tragic

First she was trapped in a relationship with a misogynistic man who demanded submission from her

She found love with Lucifer and they tried together to give Eve and humanity freewill by giving Eve the apple

But that caused evil to find it's way and Lucifer and Lilith were banished to hell

Lucifer then fell in depression while Lilith motivated Hell with her voice

But that caused then the exterminations to happen in the first place where regularly sinners get killed, so I can image that Lilith was after that maybe not in the best head space

Ruling over hell is also a challenge itself and we don't know how Lucifer and Lilith split their work as being depressed can cause a person to be not able to handle that responsibility in Lucifers case, so maybe she did the main work while he just couldn't do it

The same with parenting Charlie, having a child is straight up exhausting whatever if the child is a human and or Sinner/angel hybrid. And if Charlie is now at least 200 years old how long took it till she was an adult?

We can't really say how she was as a mother but from what we heard from Charlie i can't image her to be cold and distant to her daughter. Charlie believes that Lilith would be proud of her if she saw her right now, she thinks that her mother is doing something important and in the pilot Charlie calls Lilith who disappeared for 7 years rather than her father (again not blaming Lucifer, he just was in shitty situation as well). Sure it could be a red hering so that it is more shocking that she evil but the same could be said about the last scene where we see her on the beach to make us believe that she is a villain despite her having a good reason for everything she does

Despite her being in heaven, we don't know why she is there, maybe she just couldn't take it anymore in hell, maybe she just saw an opportunity to be somewhere without her responsibility as a queen, the deal between her and Adam is unknown so we won't know the exact reason why she is there until later in the show

And honestly even if she is just in heaven for selfish reasons doesn't automatically mean that she is an unredeemable monster, this show afterall is about persons facing their flaws and personal problems to get redeemed so why should Lilith be the exception?

[hannahhook7744]

Chapter 2:

Trigger warnings: parents dropping the ball, deteriorating parent-child relationships, aforementioned love spells, stress anxiety, etc. Notes: Just for the record, this is canon divergent and takes place after d1. It takes some inspiration from the books (like the descendants yearbook, Spirt Book: Highlights and Memories, etc). But just know this: Doug apologizes to Evie for talking over her and not letting her explain herself to Mr. Deley and for following her to her meet up with Chad (relationships need communication to thrive, ya know). Mal apologizes for love spelling Ben and came clean about why she did it. The other three vks apologized for their part in it. Lonnie apologized for the spy cams in the school of secrets web series. Jane apologized for her comment to Mal. They all.. just apologized. Cause you know, it would have solved a lot of problems had that been done as soon as possible. Not saying I hate any of the kids– just some of their actions. I can’t say the same for some of the adults, however, Though I did give FG an ambiguous (implied) change of heart since my friend pointed out that she did seem to get better in d2. Maybe Beast and Belle will have a change of heart here too. Who knows.

🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄

Ben’s stomach churned at the silence his question was met with.

“Please mom? They really don’t have any other options this year and no one should be alone on Christmas. I know you don’t like how they’ve been acting lately but I promise they’re trying to change.” 

‘Not that it should matter’ Ben couldn’t help but think, feeling more than a little bitter at this point due to how his parents had been acting ever since his proclamation (or perhaps…even before then. Ben didn’t remember). 

He’d worked so hard to be their perfect little son all these years—the perfect prince who could be trusted to rule one day. But it didn’t matter because apparently his parents had never learned to trust him even though he had only ever given them one reason before his proclamation not to (and honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted his parents trust if all of this distrust was over him cutting up a stupid rose bush when he was eight).

It was beyond frustrating how little they seemed to trust him and how little they valued his boundaries, emotions, and opinions. It honestly made him want to scream but he couldn’t afford to do that. It would look bad to the public after all (who cared if it would make him feel better, right?).

Even Chad and Audrey—two people who had no reason to trust him after the last horrible year where he was basically putting them and his other friends on the back burner (something he would NOT be doing again if he could help)—trusted him more than his parents did. And they were trying to do better—genuinely trying. 

Which was more than he could say about his parents who were only trying in the same way they did with the media—aka avoiding the problem (aka the vks) and acting like they cared when they had to. Like when Ben was around. As if he was too stupid to realize that as soon as he was out of their line of sight that they reverted back to their ‘children of villains are evil and not just misguided’ bullshit. As if he were too stupid to tell the difference between a media smile and a real smile.

Like he hadn’t learned how to fake a smile for the camera before he could even talk.

Ben didn’t understand why his parents couldn’t just try.  

Why couldn't they just admit they were wrong to leave the kids on the isle and apologize like Ben and his friends (the vks included) had all done when they realized they had all wronged each other in some way? 

Why did his parents have to act more like teenagers than Ben and his friends did?

“I’m… not sure that’s such a good idea, sweetheart. Why can’t they just go home with their families?”

Ben tried to ignore the flicker of irritation he felt at the tone she had used—the tone she and his dad always used when they thought he was being unreasonable or stupid. Their ‘I’m sure there’s another way we’ll like much more that you just haven’t thought of yet’ voice. 

The voice he had hated ever since he had first heard it when he was eight. 

His irritation probably wasn’t helped by the fact that he had already explained WHY each of them couldn’t before he had even asked the question.

It felt like she never listened to what he had to say anymore. Her and dad both. 

Ben hated it. 

He hated that he had started to view his parents as if they were enemies instead of the people who were supposed to be on his side and love him no matter what. But he had. He wasn’t sure when  their dynamic had changed but he had a few good guesses.

Maybe it started when Ben made his proclamation and his dad didn’t even try to hear him out before getting mad. 

Maybe it started with his dad’s griping about how many of his snack cakes he had to give up after Ben stood up for himself against the council of sidekicks when they were yelling at him for things that weren’t his fault.

Maybe it had shifted after he broke from the love potion and realized his parents never realized he was even under one. 

Maybe it had shifted only after CJ Hook kidnapped him and his parents never called to see if he was alright.

Maybe it had started to shift all the way back when he cut that rose bush.

Or it could have all shifted because of family day.

Family Day. 

A disastrous affair he’d never forget. 

(“Well, I never wanted to say anything, but I always thought that Audrey was a little self-absorbed. A fake smile, kind of a kiss-up.” his mother said as if he hadn’t willingly been friends with Audrey since they were just kids. As if their scrap books weren't filled with pictures of the two of them and all their other friends together.

His parents looking uncomfortable when he told them Mal was his girlfriend and how his mother fainted when she thought he couldn’t see her.

“I feared something like this would happen.” His dad said after Leah yelled at Mal and Evie knocked Chad out to defend herself and the others. 

“This isn't their fault!” He remembered saying pleadingly—silently begging everyone but mostly his parents to understand. 

“No, son. It's yours.”

“Mom?”

They walked away from him. 

They left him standing there alone—torn between running after them, checking on Chad, and running after Mal  and the others. 

Coach Jenkins was the only one who bothered to check on him afterwards and his parents didn’t answer his calls until coronation came up. He had never felt so alone….).

Ben’s hands started to shake at the memories. He could feel the eyes of Mal and the others on him and forced himself to continue. “You know what, mom. Nevermind. I’ll just stay at the school with Chad and Audrey this year for christmas. “

His mother started to protest but Ben didn’t care and cut her off “Tell pépé , Tante Clarice, and the staff I said Merry Christmas. And Give Charley, Philippe, and Orson a kiss for me. Bye mom.” 

He quickly hung up and put his phone on do not disturb before she could argue.

“Uh…You okay dude?” Jay asked, fidgeting slightly. “Do I need to fight your parents?”

Ben laughed weakly. “Nah, man. It’s okay. I just… need a moment.”

Jay didn’t look convinced but chose not to say anything. Instead sharing a concerned look with Carlos and the girls as they all waited for Ben to calm down.

Eventually—after collecting himself—Ben did and then he started to—for lack of a better word—scheme.

“Sooooo… Who’s up for a little mischief.” 

Immediately Carlos raised his hand, like he done his first day in Remedial Goodness 101. “Oooo me! Me!” 

Jay quickly elbowed him, raising his own hand. Almost leaping into the air in an attempt to hold his hand up higher than the younger boy. “No me!”

“I could go for some mischief. Especially if you’re encouraging it” Mal said, smiling slightly as she shrugged. 

Evie just shrugged “As long as we don’t get caught, I’m game.”

Ben let out a small chuckle before clapping his hands together “alright! That’s just what I wanted to hear. So here’s what we’re gonna do—”

Saving Christmas!

Summary; Ben finds out why Chad and Audrey aren't going home for Christmas this year and decides that he's going to save Christmas for his old friends. Takes place around d1. Trigger warnings; mentioned death, unintentional neglect, emotional abuse, sick child, unintentional favoritism, sick child, etc.

🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄

"Hey what are you guys doing for Christmas break this year?" Ben asked one day over lunch. 

It was a particularly wintery December 1st when the question was asked and Jane, Doug, Lonnie, and four very excited vks answered almost immediately. 

Mal and Jane were going to the Moors with FG to celebrate it.

Doug and Evie were going over to Snow White's castle with his family to celebrate.

Lonnie and Jay weren't celebrating but still had plans. 

Lonnie was going home to visit her family. 

Jay was going to Agrabah after being invited to by Aziz and Jordan. 

And Carlos was going to be spending it in London with the Radcliffes after their niece, Amber, had sent him an invite. 

After sharing that his grandfather was coming over to celebrate it with him, Ben noticed something.

Audrey and Chad had been eerily silent for the conversation. 

And looking back, it didn't take Ben long to realize that Chad hadn't spoken much all morning. 

"What about you two? What are you doing?" The brunette asked, shooting the two a sweet smile.

Thinking that they were just getting put off by the new group dynamics again. After all, it did take some getting use to —going from a tight knit group of six friends to ten almost overnight. 

And Chad always did have trouble warming up to new people. 

"Uh, we... aren't celebrating this year" Audrey replied, uncharacteristically awkward when it became apparent that Chad wasn't going to. 

The blonde hadn't looked up from his tray to acknowledge any of them since they sat down and was just playing with his food, looking downtrodden.

The amount of prunes, chocolate pudding, and pizza on his plate had stayed the same despite the fact that lunch was nearly over. His pumpkin spice latte hadn't been touched either. 

Ben couldn't help but feel concerned now that he noticed it. After all, the prince never turned his favorite foods down but here he was. Doing just that. 

And the fact that he and Audrey now apparently weren't celebrating Christmas—THEIR FAVORITE HOLIDAY—either was just worsened the concern he felt. 

Apparently he wasn't the only one feeling that way either. 

"WHAT?!" Jane yelped, "but you guys love Christmas!"  

"Yeah. What's going on?" Doug added. 

He and Chad had slowly began repairing their friendship after Ben's coronation after Chad had apologized to all of them for his behavior over the year. Plus their families usually spent Christmas together since Snow White was Chad's (non-fairy) godmother. 

No one had mentioned anything about plans changing to him. 

Audrey gave them a tired look– as if almost asking 'really?' Before sighing and halfway giving in to their questions. 

"Grammy is still upset that Ben and I didn't work out, Ariana is smug about it and has a new prince boyfriend, and my parents, aunt, uncle, and fairy Godmothers are too busy to attend this year. And since I really don't feel like being criticized over every little thing this year with no one there to buffer it, I've decided to stay at school with Chad."

No one was quite sure how to react to her snappish response. But the vks– Evie especially– looked downright murderous. But instead of commenting after a few painfully long silent moments, Jay decided to prod some more. 

"And you can't just celebrate with Chad, why?"

Audrey shot the thief a harsh glare, confirming everyone's suspicions that she had been avoiding the question, before begrudgingly answering. "Because Chad has absolutely no motivation to decorate because this will be his first Christmas without his grandfather, Prudence, and Duke who died before the school year started since before he was adopted." 

Ben got a sinking feeling in his stomach as he glanced over at his oldest prince friend. Oh. Oh.  

Oh no. 

Suddenly the pudding on his own tray didn't seem as appetizing anymore. 

Surely he hadn't gotten so caught up in his kingly duties that he had forgotten to check in on his fellow prince to see if he was doing alright? And surely he had checked in on Audrey after the love spell wore off? 

Looking back at the events of the school year and Chad's and Audrey’s behavior made him realize that he had, in fact, dropped the ball on this one. But before he could say anything, Doug spoke up. 

"But, uh, why isn't Chad going home? Not that I don't understand he's upset—" he said quickly after the hard stare the princess gave him—"It's just that he and his family usually spend the holiday at Aunt Snow's with my family and Jane's, and besides Fg and Jane, no one's mentioned a change in plans."

Audrey gave a long sigh. "Doug, his sister has a heart condition, remember?"

He nodded, likely wondering—like the rest of them were—what Chloe had to do with anything. 

Audrey continued.

"Well, because of that, it's dangerous for her to get sick because it can weaken her heart more. So their parents decided that with the Pixie flu going around that it's best that they stay home. And since Chloe is going to be in bed and his parents are probably gonna continue to try and get the Tremaines off the isle nonstop even more than they did before your proclamation the entire holiday, Chad decided it's best he doesn't return either. You know, since he could get his sister sick and will probably just get overlooked while he's there. "

Doug caught on "which also means that we can't visit them at the castle cause we could get Chloe sick if we do. And Chad doesn't want to make Chloe feel bad by going anyway."

Ben swallowed. 

He hadn't thought about that.  

Suddenly Chad behavior paired with his unkempt hair and him still being in pajamas made much more sense. 

Chad was feeling forgotten again. And this time, only Audrey had been around to try and keep him out of it. 

It was like Chloe being born all over again, except this time no one had caught onto how he was feeling and people had actually died.  

And Audrey had been suffering in silence alongside him.  

He had to fix this. 

For both of them. 

So he said the first thing that came to mind "why don't you two come and celebrate it at my place?" 

Everyone stared at him like he'd grown another head. 

Chad looked up and Ben felt even more confident in his decision.

"Ben, I don't think that's a good idea," Audrey replied softly. 

"Why not? It's not like you haven't stayed at our place before."

"Your parents hate us."

Ben shook his head. "That's not true. Mom and dad love you guys and grandpa's been dyi–begging to see you two again. "

Audrey didn't know what to say to that and finally, Chad spoke up. 

"Well.... If you're sure they wouldn't mind, then we'd like that."

Ben grinned in response "I'm positive. Trust me."

The bell rang before the conversation could continue any further and as the group flooded out of the cafeteria, their moods lifted. 

🧑‍🎄🤶🎅🧑‍🎄🤶🎅🧑‍🎄🤶🎅🧑‍🎄🤶🎅🧑‍🎄🤶🎅🧑‍🎄🤶🎅

Big thanks to @eahravinqueen and @panthera-tigris-venenata for the help. Happy Holidays y'all.

[irisinluv]

Isekaied as the Yandere Villain!? PT 1

All I could do was stare at my reflection. This had to be a joke. I was going to wake up in my bed, right this instant.

“FUCK!”

Ok, so, pinching myself hurts. That’s fine. This is like. Some sort of lucid dream. What do they say to do if you’re lucid dreaming? Oh, that’s right, put your finger in your palm, it’ll phase through!

I resist the urge to scream as my finger meets solid flesh.

You see, I’m not in the right body. Or the right world from what I can tell. No, I’m supposed to be back home, waking up in a panic as I realize my alarm didn’t go off cuz my phone died after I stayed up way too late reading manga.

But of course, I’m not late to work, I’m in a lavish bedchamber right out of the latest webcomic I’d been reading! And by the looks of it…. I’m the crown princes crazy fiancé! As much as I love reading about the Isekai trope, I never wanted to be in one! And come on- as the Yandere Villain!? Couldn’t this at least be original? There’s hundred of stories just like “my next life as a villainess,” why couldn’t I be like… a stable hand or something? Ugh. Ok. Think!

I need to get home. Do the protagonists ever get back home in the stories I read? I pace around my room and rack my brain over every webcomic I’ve ever read, every manga I waited in line for, every anime I binged, even the unfinished manhwas! I can’t think of a single fucking one where they get home?

Well this isn’t going to stop me. I have a cat who’s going to absolutely flip if she’s not given fresh kibble in the morning. She has enough in her bowl for another 2 days but she needs it topped off ok! She’s a princess! I can’t be stuck here! Who’s going to throw her pompom toy for her if I’m not there???

What did all these have in common? What’s the barebones trope layout? Ok let’s see

1) person either died or falls asleep and wakes up in a new world…. Check

2) person is the villain!…. Check

3) to avoid the characters terrible death, person tries to change the story, ends up being new protagonist…

Ohhh… hey…. Do these Isekai characters ever just…. Play along? Even the “reincarnated as a baby” ones, they only play along till they’re old enough to try to run away or rework the political structure of the entire city. Maybe that’s it. Make it to the books natural end, and you’ll wake up where you belong. It’s like when you get part of a song stuck in your head. Play the whole song, and it’ll get out.

Ok, I’ve trained most of my adult life for this- I can totally ace this trope! I just have to stalk the crown prince, act totally in love with him, and be a bitch to the female lead. Then my finance will leave me, I’ll do some crazy dramatic act to try to kill the female lead, and then I’ll be exiled or executed, and wake up to feed my cat. How hard can it be?

Hard. It’s very hard.

Where the hell did he go!? My fiancé, the crown prince Eric, was JUST HERE. I swear! He turned that corner back there and then went down this hall… at least I think it was this hall? Ugh! This is impossible! For someone with such loud shoes and an armed escort, you’d think he’d be easier to follow! Now my feet just hurt. They don’t make these fancy shoes to run around the castle all day. They’re meant to daintily peek from beneath my many skirts as I host a tea party or some shit.

Ok. I’ve got this! I’ll just peek into each room until I find him, maybe I can get a better feel for the layout, or maybe find his office and see if he has a schedule or a day planner or something I can use to make this whole stalking thing easier.

I begin snooping, and it’s a bit of thrill to be honest! Back in my real life, I’m the kind of person to hide a wrapper deep in the trash can if I’m babysitting, sitting on the floor playing a game on my phone after the kid goes to bed rather than “making myself at home” the way the parents insisted as they showed me how to access Netflix. I’ve never been a snooper. Now…. Well. It’s totally on brand for this character! I’m not me, I’m a psycho lovesick fool! I giggle a bit at that as my fingers trail over a shelf of beautiful pottery in some sort of sitting room.

“What’s so amusing dearest?”

I practically screech as my heart leaps to my throat and I whirl around, and see the very person I’d been searching for has snuck up on ME…. That’s so unfair!

“W-what? O-oh! Nothing! I was just- uh, admiring the pottery?”

I stutter out as I try to recall how to act like a human being while simultaneously trying to stop feeling my own pulse in my ears. The idiot has the nerve to LAUGH! Full on snort and everything!

“What are you doing in this wing anyways? Weren’t you meant to be out riding today?”

Shit. I was so busy trying to figure out his schedule, I didn’t consider maybe the body I was shoved into had a schedule of her own. Ok. Play it cool- I’ve got this!

“Yes, well, I decided I wasn’t in the mood and wanted to stay in today instead.”

His brows furrow

“Oh, but you love riding? Are you feeling ill? I can fetch the royal physician for you if you-“

“No! That’s- that’s quite alright! I simply wanted a change of schedule, that is all. Um… what about you? What are your plans for the day?”

He looked a bit surprised at that, and a small smile danced on his lips.

“I was just going to the library to do some paperwork, boring stuff really, and then of course our dinner at its regular time.”

I nod like that means anything to me. Ok think, if I were crazy in love with this man, what would I say?

“Would you like some company? Reading in the library sounds really nice, maybe we could have some tea as well?”

Ok. I’m already fucking this up. He looks confused…. God damnit …. I knew I shouldn’t have skimmed over those early chapters- but the translation was shit ok!?

“Well… I’d actually love that. But are you sure? You haven’t exactly shown interest in reading, and you’ve never requested something like this before…. In fact I don’t think I can recall the last time we’ve interacted outside of dinner or a scheduled social event in… well. Ever.”

Wait…. What? Isn’t my character like goo-goo-ga-ga over him? Are you telling me she never asks to just… spend time with her lover? They only talk during dinner and parties or whatever?

“Of course, I think it’ll be relaxing! Just lead the way!”

My brain is working overtime as I smile politely at him as we reach the library and I pretend to browse for books. I’m missing something here. What is-

Oh. Shit. That’s right. I’m supposed to be really insecure and awkward about him. That’s why she stalks him- she spends all her free time obsessing over this man from the shadows, threatening the competition…. Yet chokes up when it comes to how to act natural. Her inferiority complex is what drives her entire character. And then to him, they’re just two nobles in an arranged marriage who speak on dull subjects like the weather and horse rides…. And who barely interact.

This must have been a real big shake up, she always stays out of sight, they never run into each other by chance. And she certainly never would ask to sit and read with him…. Maybe watch him do his work from a hidden keyhole somewhere, but that’s right…. She IS more of a traditional lady with her hobbies. She was raised to be the perfect noble wife, so naturally, her hobbies include things like dancing, needlepoint, and horse riding. The only studies she’s interested in are etiquette and things that noble ladies are supposed to know.

Well…. Shit. That’s so like me to already have fucked this up. But that’s ok. That’s ok- he’s going to meet the female lead and fall in love and so I just have to be the obstacle they need to overcome. Surely the details don’t matter too much…. It’s my first day in the job ok? Not everyone’s perfect!

I find a book that honestly actually sounds interesting, it’s historical, but it’s giving Hellen of Troy, the closest to a dark romance I think I’ll get from an academic personal library like this. I settle into what looks like the comfiest chair in the central area, and begin reading. The prince and I exist comfortably, the only sound being the scratch of his pen, and the occasional rustle of paper as he flips a document or I finish a page. We continue like this for several hours until he puts down his pen and clears his throat, getting my attention.

“I know it’s a long way from dinner…. But I was thinking I’d grab something light for a mid day meal and then take a walk about the gardens …. Would you care to join me?”

Honestly, some lunch and pretty royal gardens sounds like so much fun, so I agree. As we begin walking, I ponder how I can recover from all this.

You know what.. this can totally still go to plan. This is just me being the evil villain and sinking my claws into him! The female lead will appear, and I’ll reveal my true, nasty side to her! She’ll have to fight to save the prince from his marriage to me!

*insert evil laughter!*

“You’re smiling.”

“W-what?”

“A smile. It suits you. You’ve been doing that a lot today….. I like it.”

Ok and now I’m blushing. I go to reply when I suddenly find myself weightless for a moment, and then hit the ground with a hard thump.

“Ow! What the-!?”

My eyes snap up and glare at this pretty blonde girl who just rammed into me, and sent me flying

“Do you not know how to watch where you’re going!? Owww…. Ugh.”

Ok I’m sorry I’m usually a nice and understanding person but I’ve never been literally knocked over before! Who does that to a person?

Eric helps me to my feet and sends a reproachful glare toward the girl, asking me if I’m alright with most concerned look…. And the girl gasps and says,

“C-crown prince Eric! I apologize! I’d didn’t recognize you!”

She drops into a curtsy and lowers her eyes all demure and modest as if she hadn’t just bulldozed me. I send an incredulous look toward Eric…. She… didn’t see HIM? I’m the one she took out? He gives me an equally puzzled look and so I decide, you know what, fuck it. I’m this evil person in this world…. I need to act like it!

“And not recognizing his highness is an excuse for taking out the princess consort, soon to be crown princess? Are you blind or just daft?”

Oh my god I really just called someone daft! This feels like when you stay up late thinking all the witty comebacks you could’ve used against your high school bullies, except actually using them in the moment!

And Eric is being a sweetie and letting me handle this, waiting expectantly for blondie to answer me, just prompting her,

“Well?”

“Forgive me…. Princess consort…. You are right. My oversight in inexcusable. It appears neither of us were looking where we were going. I hope we can start fresh!”

I scoff- that’s it? Who does this bitch think she is? Yes, I was looking at Eric, but I was going a walking pace, who rounds a corner with so much force that you knock someone over?

Suddenly something clicks- oh shit! This is the female lead!!!! This scene happened in the story, just without the prince here. This is good, that means this is on track. Although I gotta say- I was much more on the female main characters side when reading it. Now, I just feel like she’s one of those mean girls in high school who’s not *technically* doing anything mean. Anyways- what was I supposed to say? That’s right.

“Yes…. Well. I’m sure we won’t be seeing much of each other anyways. If you’ll excuse me-“

Nailed ittttt…. Now her line?

“Well, actually…. My name is Lady Cressida, and I’ll be staying in the place for several months as my father is a foreign ambassador overseeing trade agreements with his highness the king. So I imagine we will be seeing *plenty* of each other. That goes for you too your highness! So please- forgive me, I look forward to getting to know each of you better!”

Oh that’s so cool, seeing her recite the lines from the story. But ok- I have a role to play as well. I scoff and grab Eric’s arm, pulling him behind me as I storm off, playing the part of entitled lover, stuck up and irritated at this ambassadors daughter who DARED to speak to my love.

Yea, this will work, Eric will think Cressida is a genuine sweetie, and see me as being the unreasonable bitch who’s refusing to accept her apology, or apologize for not looking where I was going either. And now I’m manhandling him- totally unlady like. God I’m killing this aren’t I? Minimum wage job and demanding cat, here I come!

What I don’t see, as I lead Eric by the arm, is the cold glare he shoots towards Cressida, before smiling down at our connected hands, an unreadable look in his eyes.

Part 2

[beloveds-embrace]

Thinking about designationless reader...

Imagine how alone she must've been for all her life. It started since she was young, her parents pushing her to the corner of the home, away from the family, and naturally, her siblings would follow their parents' lead, pointedly ignoring her, and finding any excuse available to be out of her presence. She wouldn't understand them anyway, she can't tell the difference between noises nor could she even recognize scents. It just wouldn't work.

Reader thinks that maybe she could find someone, anyone in school, but kids are like sharks, except instead of smelling blood, they smell the lack of all scents on her. Most kids have a combination of their own and their family members' scents. Reader has nothing, so everyone continues the pattern, but now with more stares and jeers and hushed giggles. Reader knows that bullying is bad, but anything would be better than simply not existing to anyone. That's what the others say, at least, that she's nothing, nobody. Never to her face, though, just in the whispers shared between friends.

She eventually tries to find others like her through the wonders of the internet. There's maybe a handful more scattered in her country, but none are her age, and all have their own families who care about them. Was it just her who wasn't deserving of love, of connection? Reader reaches out to them, and they talk a little, but before long, through no one's fault, it falls through. She was bad at talking anyway, even if she doesn't have to worry about scents or sounds that aren't there, she never knew much about context or connotation. She never had the opportunity to learn about the intricacies in communication. Reader is back alone.

The military eventually scouts her, and it's the first time anyone has ever really looked at her. Sure, they look at her like a valuable tool, but a tool is better than nothing. Reader obviously joins, desperate for crumbs. She climbs the ranks, gets the job done. She is good at her job, so people respect her. She learns how to talk professionally, emails, texts, and so one, but no one talks to her on leave. No one invites her to the pub after a good mission. No one even talks to her in the mess. But people do talk to her when they have to, and that's enough. Maybe she even gets a callsign. Doe. After Jane Doe, the placeholder name for unknown individuals, and insult if anything.

Now there's the 141. They invite her to things. They talk to her. They touch her. Reader exists for them. She isn't just an unknown person stuck in the background and invisible to everyone else, and Reader doesn't know what to do. Her speech is awkward and overly professional, even in personal settings. How is she supposed to be friends with someone, multiple someones? How is she supposed to move? To act? To express? She doesn't know, but she really wants to learn. At least now she has good teachers.

ANON YOU GENIUSSSS okay but this? Perfect. AHHHH I ADORE THIS IDEA!! Esp the jane doe callsign omg yes

You weren’t used to being seen.

Growing up, you learned quickly how to make yourself small- how to exist quietly, without taking up space, without asking for too much. Because the few times you had asked- asked for a hug, asked to be let into the nest, asked why you felt so different- the answers had all been the same.

No.

Not now.

Not you.

It wasn’t that your parents didn’t love you. You were sure they did, in their own way. But love was hard to feel when your mother flinched at your touch like you were something disgusting, when your father sighed like he was tired every time you entered the room as if you were taking up space he was saving for his other children. When your siblings built their nests without you, curling into piles of warmth and safety while you sat outside the door, knees pulled to your chest and hands balled into fists to keep them from knocking, a cold ache burrowing itself in your chest.

You stopped knocking eventually.

You stopped trying.

You used to wonder if you’d done something wrong- if maybe you could fix yourself and everything would go back to normal. But it wasn’t something you could fix. It was just… you.

Scentless.

Designationless.

Invisible.

School had been worse, perhaps the worst. At least your family had pretended not to notice how different you were. The other kids didn’t bother pretending. They stared openly, whispered behind your back, laughed when you walked by. You’d caught bits and pieces of what they said- weird, wrong, broken, as if they hoped by having you hear their words, they’d convince you to leave at last.

You’d started keeping your head down after that, slipping through the halls like a shadow. No one talked to you unless they had to, and even then they either did it with a mocking, jeering tone that echoes in your nightmares or with a meek tone; as if your lack of everything is contagious. No one sat next to you at lunch, either. When partners were assigned, you always ended up working alone per your teachers’ instructions.

It was easier that way.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

By the time you joined the military, you’d gotten good at being alone. You didn’t need friends. Didn’t need packmates. You had work, and work didn’t care if you were quiet or awkward or too stiff to laugh at the right jokes. Work didn’t care if you flinched when people got too close or froze when someone raised their voice. Work demanded to be done, and you had nothing and no one to stop you from that.

But the military also has the same teens who used to bully you so consistently. Rookies all to ready and happy to lord over you. It’s how you get your despised callsign, Doe. Jane Doe. A cruel mockery, comedy wherein you are the joke that has the world laughing.

Still, you wear it. It’s still an acknowledgment and that will always be better than never being seen. You flit from team to team, unit to unit, always an observer from afar, watching everyone around you speak a language you can’t.

But the 141 was different, when you eventually end up working for them.

They cared.

They cared in ways you weren’t ready for.

Soap was relentless, dragging you into conversations even when you barely knew what to say. He filled the silences like it didn’t bother him, kept talking for the both of you, lounging against you unbothered, until you started talking back. Gaz was gentlest, steadier. He never pushed, just lingered close enough to remind you he was there, waiting, whenever you were ready. Quiet, silent acceptance you’d never been given before, and you were yet far too afraid to so easily cling to it.

And the Alphas- Price and Ghost- were worse.

Price had a way of looking at you that made your chest ache, like he saw you, really saw you, and didn’t mind what he found. Scentless, with no designation and all. Ghost was quieter, sharper, but his eyes tracked you everywhere, presence wrapping around you like he was staking a claim you didn’t understand, like he was teying to etch every part of you behind his eyelids.

You didn’t know what to do with it.

They didn’t give you space. They sat next to you at meals, tugged you along when they went out for drinks, called you over during breaks like it was the most natural thing in the world. And it felt natural- until it didn’t, because sometimes you still felt like an outsider.

Like you didn’t belong.

You tried to hide it, but they saw through you. They always did, and they never shied away.

When you started avoiding the mess hall, it was Gaz who caught you, shoving a plate of food into your hands and dragging you to sit with him like it wasn’t a big deal. When you hung back during missions, letting the others fall into their pack dynamics without you, Soap was the one who looped an arm around your shoulders and pulled.

And when you flinched, once, at the sharp sound of someone’s voice echoing down the hall- when you tensed so hard it made your fingers tremble- it was Price who closed the distance, standing in front of you like a wall and letting Ghost linger at your back. Neither of them said a word.

They didn’t have to.

You weren’t used to being protected. You weren’t used to belonging.

But they made it hard not to.

[ninjagirlstar5]

YEAH, it's quite funny looking back on that. It was something of a gradual change over time due to Hiro originally being an OC for...

Sighs.

...Five Nights At Freddy's.

Listen, she was created all the way back in high school when the fourth game came out and my friend brought me into his online friend's FNAF AU, and it just spiraled from there as we went crazy with the lore and made a TON of OCs for the series. A lot of which didn't really fit FNAF in general as we really went ham on the supernatural aspects like ghosts, angels, and demons and stuff, plus a few sci-fi elements thrown into the mix. And with how often the lore kept getting updated and changed with each installment in the series (and franchise), we were constantly adjusting a bunch of stuff in our stories for the AU.

We were (mostly) cringe-free back then, and I'll admit, I'm still attached to a lot of the ideas we came up with back then (hell, I still like FNAF). That being said, at this point in my life, I've been thinking on separating my OCs from FNAF altogether, mostly cause the lore we've come with doesn't really fit the FNAF world anymore as the stories we had listed out as planned (but never got around to finishing or even starting) started straying further and further away from the original appeal of the series, which is, "Security guard works at a kids' pizzeria which turns out to have haunted animatronics of dead children cause there was a serial killer back in the 1980s" thing. We got so wrapped up in the lore and certain elements that the animatronics just almost never appeared in a lot of these story ideas, except for, like, two of them, and just loosely tying in other canon characters.

With that context outta the way...I do have posts on Hiro. The thing is, though, this was from a time where I barely used Tumblr to share my own stuff, just liking and reblogging other people's posts. So it turned out I only had...two posts on Hiro. And that's from the Random-Questions-Fairy that I came across and liked and reblogged for some OC questions.

The first is about, "Does this character has pets or would like a pet?"

The second one being, "What kind of situation would your OC be willing to compromise on their values/morals?" (The third reason isn't wholly accurate anymore since I've been thinking over on what should be changed and such, especially since I want to separate Hiro's story from FNAF, so the context of the situation may end up quite different. It's still loosely accurate to her situation, but still.)

Also, I did actually write and post a fic on Hiro and her trauma back in 2022, I just completely forgot about it until now. Oops. It's kinda old now, especially since the few times her physical appearance is touched upon, it's based on her old design as I had given her a new one now. And I feel like if I were to write this scene into a story, I might change it, but I dunno. I haven't reread it in a long while. But if you want an idea of Hiro's story in the FNAF AU we made, there it is.

These were the only posts I've ever shared on Hiro, two on Tumblr, one on AO3. Honestly, I wished I talked about her a bit more, I still love her a lot, but I've always been nervous about talking about her and her lore due to her ties with FNAF. And also cause, well, my fixation on FNAF has waned quite a bit and SDRA2 basically dropkicked it into the far reaches of my mind. (I still think about it every now and then, but that did affect how I think about Hiro - which is, not as much as I used to.) But since you asked, I might as well take the opportunity to talk about her more and what her story would be like without FNAF in the picture.

Her full name is Hiroko Arai, and she was born in America. As a Japanese-American, her parents decided to give her a Japanese name so that she'd have ties to her culture. It's probably spelled with the Kanji, "to forgive, to pardon" and "child, offspring, young, junior, small thing", while Arai can either mean "new well" or "new residence" depending on spelling (I went with "new residence" as the spelling). Her friends and family all call her by her nickname, Hiro. The meta-reason why Hiro ended up with a Japanese name is because I was a lot more obsessed with anime back in high school. ^^;

Hiro has Time powers alongside her brother, which she inherited from her father and grandfather. Neither of which were actually human, but rather supernatural creatures of a higher being. The grandfather had initially come down to the mortal realm to fix some issues with the timeline as someone had restricted many possibilities of what could happen and had to be stopped (basically the backstory for an overarching story), even going as far as to create Hiro's father, but they never figured out a solution. The grandfather and the father had a bad relationship to the point that he cut ties with him, but he had mentioned him before to his wife, which came in handy when he had ended up passing away suddenly due to a car crash and the family needed a place to stay so she chose to take a risk. While the grandfather didn't fully understand what they did wrong, they had tried to be better for their son's family, and ended up having a much more amicable relationship with their grandkids. Tomomi (explained below) still found them unnerving at times.

The flat cap Hiro wears (pictured below) was her grandfather's. She was the closest to them and loved learning about clocks and their ideas on time and such. She never would've guessed that they were trying to help prepare her with her powers without forcing it onto her, as even if they were to remain dormant for the rest of her life and never were to realize that she had it, it would always be a part of her. She got her flat cap after her grandfather's mortal vessel expired ("passed away" in human eyes).

Hiro has a twin brother named Tomomi, which is spelled with the Kanjis, "wisdom, intelligence, knowledge" and "snake, serpent" ("智巳"). While their personalities were quite different from each other, Hiro being far more emotionally open, kinder and eager to play while Tomomi was more withdrawn, a loner, and far more quiet as he buries himself in his books, they were rarely seen apart. If one is not seen without the other, it's usually assumed that they were nearby but doing their own thing. Hiro and Tomomi bicker a lot, but were always the first to protect and support one another as they deeply love each other as siblings. Hiro always called Tomomi, "Tomo."

They were only ten-years-old when they were murdered, Tomomi poisoned with his body tossed into a river and Hiro having walked in on the scene of the crime, running into the forest in a panic and getting killed there via blunt force trauma. Tomo was found only twenty-four hours after his death. Hiro was found a year later by some hikers, her body haphazardly buried in the dirt.

Their deaths was when they found out about their time powers as the emotional pain of death made Tomomi unwittingly turn back time. However, since they were half-human, their time powers weren't as strong as their father's or even their grandfather's, so they were only able to go back one hour. This results in a time loop as Tomomi desperately tries to save himself, and eventually, Hiro. She didn't even realize what had happened at first until things started repeating over and over again and, due to retaining her memories of each loop thanks to having the same powers and awareness as her brother, tried to help save him as well. But due to the constraints of their powers, they were unable to escape their Fates, and kept dying over and over, and over again. The two of them end up giving up at some point, with Hiro being the first to give up and try and accept her death while leaving some kind of evidence behind for the authorities to capture their killer, while Tomomi took the longest as he was determined to not lose what he had...but eventually snapped and just let himself be killed.

Unfortunately, their pain doesn't end there as they end up becoming ghosts. Ghosts come into existence once someone has died, usually when they have a grudge to settle or some kind of unfinished business to attend to. The former usually happens when someone is killed in an uncommon way (murder) and the victim was aware of what happened to them or if they had beef with a living person upon their death and feel as if they deserved to finish what they started before moving on. The latter usually happens a person dies but still has some kind of final wish or even just wants to protect someone they loved. Many ghosts will move on with a bit of time or accomplishing their goals, but others get stuck in the mortal realm when they're unable to emotionally process what had happened. (This is usually when an Exorcist comes in to help the ghosts come to terms with their death, appeases their souls, and even help them with their goals...if it's morally sound, anyways.) Both of them were in pain for dying the way that they did, but Hiro was a bit more willing to move on as she just wanted some peace. Tomomi, who was broken and filled with resentment, is convinced that he's stuck like this, and doesn't even want to move on, not until he gets on their killer. Hiro is uncomfortable with her brother's change in behavior (she never saw and fully understood how desperate he was to survive their killer due to the time constraints of just trying to escape together and live), but chooses to stay by his side and support him.

Hiro and Tomomi's relationship starts to deteriorate over time, as while they both have the same trauma with experiencing their deaths over and over and over again through the time looping, neither of them are handling it very well, but ESPECIALLY Tomomi. He's become obsessed with getting revenge, trying to track him down through any means necessary, and he just keeps taking things too far to the point that people get hurt. Hiro tries to get him to stop but he won't listen, even snapping at her a few times for getting in his way. This comes to a point when Tomomi accidentally gets someone killed, which shocks both of them. But Tomomi, his soul having become tainted, tries to justify it to himself, saying that they merely got in the way, but Hiro snaps at him as they're LITERALLY dead, Tomomi! They...They caused that, Hiro having shown some taint on her as well for her minor role in the situation. This sparks an argument where Tomomi ends up talking over Hiro and proclaiming that if she's acting this way, then she can't possibly understand what he's going through, the pain and suffering he's felt for just losing his life over and over again! If accepting their death means letting go of their murderer, then he wants no part in it! Hiro is hurt by this, quietly biting back that yes, she does understand, because she's been put through the same thing he did. She just doesn't want other innocent people to lose their lives on this path of revenge. Tomomi wonders if they're even innocent, but eventually apologizes for snapping at her. Hiro apologizes as well, though, saying that she didn't meant to start an argument. Tomomi quietly begs her to stay, as he doesn't want to be alone so long as he remains as a ghost. Hiro is, again, uncomfortable...but continues to stay with him as he's her brother. Of course she can't leave him alone like this. However, their relationship doesn't improve from here as Tomomi continues to go down his path of destruction, Hiro struggling between supporting him and stopping him, but unable to choose between either. Hiro feels as though she can't speak up, and the few times she does, Tomomi ignores her or brushes her off, saying that once the killer is gone, things will go back the way it was before. Hiro, after watching another person die before her eyes, can only hope so numbly.

The Taint is basically what happens when a ghost does something immoral to another living being, causing harm to them in some way. Destroying relationships, driving someone insane, getting someone injured, or killing someone have different levels of taint but ultimately lead to one ending if the taint gets to a certain point the soul can't handle: the transformation of a Demon. There are at least two types of demons: one that is naturally formed from Hell and defined by a certain type of sin (ex. Pride, Greed, Wrath, etc.), or one where the soul of a ghost can no longer contain the taint in their thin forms and bursts, a shadow of their former selves as they go searching for more prey to feast upon. Young demons will usually go after any stray ghosts they come across as they are often easier prey than a human, who have far more protections to use against them, especially if they're able to resist any of their temptations. But older demons are far more dangerous as they're able to slip through the cracks of human society and manipulate a human into doing certain things that make them more vulnerable as time progresses, sucking away their energy until they can no longer resist and leaves them open for death. Many of these older demons have some kind of power that makes it easier for them to gain souls. This is why it's important exorcise both demons and ghosts, to keep people safe and to prevent a ghost's soul from being lost to the Taint.

There were other victims like Hiro and Tomomi, ones they sometimes came across during their journey they've been tracking down. However, they had never met the ghosts of these victims, either because they lacked the awareness of being murdered, wandered away from the location of their death, or just passed on over time. Hiro always tries to leave some kind of gift behind so they can rest in peace.

Hiro comes across a doll, one that seemed to have been tossed to the side, and decides to take it with them. After many years of trying to find their killer, she had grown used to her ghostly powers like teleportation, possession, and even telepathically carrying items. Hiro and Tomomi have grown very distant with each other over time, as Tomomi has become more toxic, clingy, and controlling of his sister, unwilling to let her leave his sight lest she ran into a demon and gets her soul taken. It's not an unfounded fear in this world, but he's not giving her any freewill on the matter, which makes it harder and harder for her to speak up on her feelings. But with the doll she has now, Hiro starts to talking to it in private, giving herself an outlet to let out all of her pent up emotions. She's desperate for a friend or even an adult she can rely on, someone that would support her and love her as she tries to cope from the stress of her watching people die, watching her brother become someone he's not, someone twisted and destructive. This continues for a long while until Hiro starts to break down a little, holding the doll close as the energy of her own soul brightens, begging for someone to help her. This imbues the doll with parts of her soul, and since Hiro was a half-human, it ends up being a very powerful one. One that transforms the doll into a tall, gangly being with strings attached. Hiro is shocked to see this, but since the being was imbued with Hiro's desire for a friend and an authority figure to rely on, they're quick to reassure her that everything is alright, having inherited traits that Hiro has perceived in the adults she grew up with: her mother's intelligence, her father's compassion, and even her grandfather's perseverance. The being proclaims itself to be Hiro's Guardian, and while Hiro doesn't necessarily understand what that means, she knew that she now has a friend to rely on and immediately clings to them. They play with her, recalling long forgotten childhood stories Hiro has heard to her, and give her a listening ear. Hiro has a good time, and even when her brother comes back from surveying the area, she greets cheerfully with her new friend, a jarring display if Tomomi ever saw one since he hasn't...seen her so happy in so long. He questions who the doll is, and they simply explain themselves to be Hiro's Guardian, willing to extend that same title to Tomomi as they are siblings. Tomomi is still suspicious but Hiro reassures him that they didn't offer any kind of contract, they just simply...came into being from the doll Hiro had. Tomomi isn't sure that that alone can be trusted, but decides that it doesn't matter now and tells Hiro to follow him. She reluctantly agrees, as she had hoped that Tomomi would at least get to know their new friend, which they simply reassure her that he may come around with time. For now, they ask her to give them a name, and Hiro thinks on it before settling on Mari. Hiro cannot remember how to do Kanji due to it being so many years, but she believes it can mean "Truth," "Reason," or "Love." Mari accepts their new name and shapeshifts back into their doll form so Hiro can hug them as they leave. They spend most of their time together, and even when Tomomi is at his worse, Mari is always there to help Hiro process her emotions, although due to being created from a part of Hiro's soul, they struggle to confront Tomomi themselves to get him to stop, especially as a part of them knows that they would do anything to protect these kids and struggle to wrap their head around Tomomi hurting Hiro. They're basically a young adult that doesn't really have much experience in dealing with children despite loving them a lot. But Hiro doesn't mind. She's just relieved to finally have a friend after feeling so lonely. Ha, lonely...she was never lonely around Tomomi but nowadays...she's not even sure she knows him.

Circling around to the concept of Guardians, Guardians are basically people that have passed onto the AfterLife, and are assigned to be a living mortal's support and protector. Usually Angels, people that have gone to Heaven for going above and beyond to help other people, are assigned to be Guardians, sometimes for a relative, sometimes for a stranger. But it's not uncommon for Lost Souls, people that have lived average lives and weren't exactly good or bad, in Purgatory to be assigned as Guardians as well, as a way to help them come to terms with their deaths, lack of purpose, and eventually bring them closer to being accepted into Heaven. It's almost unheard of for souls from Hell to become Guardians but if one were to try and reform, it is an option...but only for those that weren't reprehensible enough to get stuck in the lowest levels, as not everyone is allowed a chance for redemption depending on their record. These people are not necessarily demons, but due to how they have lived their lives when they were alive, harming others and perhaps even destroying lives, they are given far more restrictions as a Guardian, and that's only if they pass the test on whether or not they're genuine in trying to do better. Those on the lowest levels aren't even given chance due to how vile of a person they are...and they don't even want to change either. These types of Guardians are very rare...but it happens. Occasionally. Not just anyone become a Guardian, even as an Angel and a Lost Soul, as those who are more weak-willed may succumb to taint, even after giving a protective seal on their souls. They're also given permission to use certain powers if it will help them protect their mortal better. Mari, however, is a type of Guardian that can sometimes manifest in someone's time of need, usually in a beloved object they hold dear, and while Guardians don't usually protect the dead (they're meant to protect mortals, after all), if a ghost were to imbue an object with a desire like Hiro did, they would still be bound to protect that dead person. These Guardians are also ones ones that would take the initiative to protect that person but lack the seal to protect themselves from the Taint as they form outside the bounds of the ones that enforce how a Guardian is chosen, so it's generally frowned upon since they can be just as dangerous as a loose ghost or even a demon. So, not only did Hiro create herself a Guardian as a ghost, she accidentally broke a taboo in the process. Oops.

Demons also have their own versions of being "Guardians" through Contracts. They try to offer a human, usually a vulnerable one, a deal: they can give them this, so long as they're willing to offer them their soul by the time they accomplish their goal or when the contract expires. The demon will then support and protect them as they give the human power to accomplish what they need to do. Taking a demon's deal never ends well, as this is one of the first steps a demon will take to convince a human to commit atrocities throughout the duration, a slippery slope that gets harder and harder to pull yourself out of the more you're willing to bend your morals. And by the end of the contract, the Demon will take your soul, leaving an empty husk of your body behind. You may not even get to experience the rewards of what you've accomplished, but many humans think they can outwit a demon by reaping the rewards and then trying to get rid of them as soon as it's all done. This always seem to backfire as humans have already signed away their soul on those contracts, bound to give them up regardless of whether or not they want to back out. There is no way out, and an exorcists' advice is to ALWAYS never listen to a demon and run away while you still can. However, there are rumors of humans that have managed to accomplish turning the tables against a demon, but there doesn't seem to be any evidence of that ever happening. At least, for now...

Back to Hiro, their little group has come across many people as they search for their killer, but this was the first time they've come across an exorcist. The exorcist was clearly on a mission, asking them what they're final wishes are. Hiro doesn't get to answer as Tomomi brushes the exorcist off, saying that it's none of her business. The exorcist sighs, simply saying that she can help them move on and wrap up their final business. They don't have to keep tainting themselves anymore. But Tomomi doesn't believe her and tells her to go away, which only prompts the exorcist to shrug and say, "Suit yourselves. It took a long time to find you kids, I even spent all my down payment trying to keep up with you for weeks. But I have a job to finish, and if I have to do this by force...well, you're better off in the AfterLife. Trust me." And immediately attacks. This surprises both of them but Mari immediately jumps to defend them as their Guardian, shocking the exorcist but laughing along as she seems happy to get a bit of a challenge. It wasn't a very long fight...but it was one that Hiro didn't forget as Mari, in the snap of their fingers, freezes time for a few seconds and brutally cuts the exorcist with their strings. Hiro is shocked to realize that Mari has the same powers as them (due to them having a part of her soul) and watches as the exorcist goes down but is still alive. She cusses as she admits out loud that she had underestimated them. Mari goes to give the final blow, but before Hiro could even step in and beg Mari not to do this, she would never want this, the exorcist pleads for them to wait. They stop, ready to pounce at any moment, but giving her the time of day, even when Tomomi comes over to tell them to kill her, now. The exorcist laughs, saying that she was lucky that she had come prepared on more than one level before grunting as she pulls out an object: clear jeweled brooch, one that gave off a strange eeriness to everyone in the vicinity. The exorcist offers a deal: if she gives them this Brooch of Life, they'll let her go and she won't go after them anymore. Tomomi questions if she would keep her end of the deal and she simply replies, "Do I even have a choice? Just take this brooch and you'll be able to walk with the living again. Although I'll admit, I have no idea what effects it'll have on a ghost." They all exchange looks before Mari carefully takes the brooch from the exorcist before quickly backing away. When Mari proclaims that this is actually legit, the exorcist immediately drops a smoke bomb that explodes upon contact, quickly making her getaway. Mari almost goes after her but Hiro actually stop them. She's gravely injured, and didn't attack them like she said she would. They should let her go and follow their goals. Tomomi agrees, taking the brooch from Mari without a word but not putting it on. As they follow after him, Hiro tells Mari not to do that again. Mari says that it's their duty as their Guardian to protect her and they will do everything in their power to make sure she's never harmed again. They have seen what's been done to her through her memories, the repeated deaths, the lack of closure for her family as the police lose track of her own killer. They won't let any of that happen to her ever again, the taint all over their hands. Hiro is disturbed...but ends up letting it slide, simply asking them to promise to be more careful going forward. If they're going to be her guardian, she doesn't want them to kill unless they absolutely have to. They promise.

They finally track down their killer, Tomomi confronting them by making himself more visible to his eyes. Luckily, he is very sensitive to the supernatural, allowing him to both sense and see Tomomi, and Hiro without much effort. Since Mari has always been a doll at their core, they're pretty much visible as is. Tomomi corners their killer, demanding that he dies a miserable death like theirs. The killer laughs, saying that they have no idea why he did what he did, but he won't tell them since it's already too late. He's accomplished his goals and there's nothing they can do about it. This confuses Hiro but Tomomi doesn't care, trying to attack the killer on the spot. Mari, however, stops him, saying that he doesn't seem to care at all that they've tracked them down and that it could be a trap. Tomomi just stares at them...before suddenly grabbing their strings, taking control of Mari and using them to brutally kill their murderer. Hiro, for once in a very long time, immediately intervenes, fighting for control over Mari to protect them as they scream in agony, the Taint from Tomomi transferring over to them. Tomomi, on the verge of bursting into a demon, yells at Hiro, asking why can't she just trust him? Why can't she just accept what needs to be done? Why can't she just support him like she's supposed to!? Hiro, after putting up with Tomomi's toxicity for years, screams that he can do whatever he wants to her but never to her own friend! And turns the tables, taking control of Mari and wounding Tomomi's soul. This shocks everyone, Tomomi crumbling as he tries to keep himself intact. Hiro drops the strings and Mari, despite being in pain, scrambles over Tomomi, telling him that it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay. They have a solution, it'll be okay. They form a box between them, putting Tomomi inside and wrapping it all up until he disappears into their chest. Once Tomomi was gone, Mari tries to get their taint under control, pushing down Tomomi's memories, the murderous intent, the pain and suffering in his heart, feeling every single bit of it before it finally, finally subsides. They feel...different. But at least they had their free will back. Mari turns to Hiro to ask if she's alright, but sees the Brooch of Life in her hand. Tomomi must have dropped it in the scuffle. Mari didn't understand why Hiro was staring at it so intently, but for Hiro...Hiro realized something. She realized that she can't have a future like this. Not when Tomomi might disappear for good. Not when she's a ghost that has remained stagnant, hurting as the taint over her arms and face grew and grew. Not when she...she can't even age, for she is dead. But this brooch...if it works just like that exorcist said, even if she didn't know what would happen if a ghost were to use it...It wasn't even a question. Hiro puts the brooch over her heart and in an instant, her body glows bright, her body feels heavy (feel, she can FEEL), and she can taste the stale air, the smell of blood, everything all at once...until she passes out from her senses being completely overwhelmed. Mari catches her, shocked that she had actually done it without a second thought...but if that was her choice, then they would follow and protect her to the very end. And thus, they carried her out of the building, bringing her to a hotel for her to rest at.

Being sensitive to the supernatural is different for everyone. Some may notice a ghostly presence while another can just walk on by without even a shudder. Being sensitive to the supernatural is a basic survival instinct that humans still use to this day, as being aware that something is off can encourage people to avoid certain supernatural hotspots or even a single ghost or demon that may have ill will and just waiting for a chance to pounce on a vulnerable person. It's a sixth sense of sorts. However, being too sensitive to the supernatural can be very detrimental to one's mental health, some even losing their sanity for seeing so many dead people, creatures, and demons in the vicinity. Other times, lacking any sensitivity at all can lead to someone walking right into danger without realizing it. In the end, you're better off being more in the middle. At least your sixth sense will be going off every now and then without driving you paranoid.

Hiro's recovery was a slow one as it's been years since she's been an actual, breathing human. Mari always took the time to dote and take care of her, doing research on what kind of food she'll need and giving her plenty of entertainment through stories and TV time. The TV is a little different but she recognizes it as one that she's familiar with back when she was still alive so she grows comfortable in the hotel. The cartoons aren't familiar at all, though. In fact, the graphics don't match up with her memories period. It confused her. And scared her. After a few days and when she was able to start walking on her own, she asks Mari for a calendar as she's know when she died, she died on a holiday after all, she just needed to know what year it is. Mari does what they're told and brings her a calendar from the desk. She nearly drops it as soon as she reads the year. Hiro, she...she knew. She knew it's been years since she died. She saw how different certain things were as they traveled, how people's clothes had changed, the glimpses of different kinds of toys she never recognized, and the way people talked as she listens when she had nothing better to do when no one else can see her but Mari, Tomomi, and the occasional supernatural sensitive person. She just didn't realized it's been three whole decades.

And that is essentially Hiro's backstory, plus a few side notes on certain lore elements to explain what each term means in this world. There are certainly more elements to her story but I figured I'd cut off there in case I ever decide to actually sit down and write her story. Which won't be in her POV, at least not at the start since her revival is meant to be a mystery in the beginning as her childhood friend encounters her right in front of her own grave and freaks out, kickstarting the plot as he tries to figure out who, when, and HOW this even happened while Hiro keeps her mouth shut due to her own trauma, the struggle of realizing that everything that you were once familiar with and called home had changed drastically including the people you once knew cause they're now middle-age adults, and just overall figuring out if she even belongs in this new era or not despite coming from a past long since gone. Which she is dealing with all at once, with the depression and anxiety just a cherry on top behind her attempts to remain positive to an almost toxic extent (unless she's with Mari). It doesn't mean her cheerfulness is a complete facade, most of it can be genuine when she's taking things slow and can actually be very fascinated with the new technology that's surrounding her. It's just! A lot! To take in at once! To the point that she can sometimes feel a little bit alienated around others, including kids that are suppose to be her age.

Hiro is still an 80s kid before her death. She does not know what a smartphone is.

Due to the state of her own body, a.k.a. being a ghost, when Hiro used the Brooch of Life, it had to create an entirely new body of hers by scratch, which included the same clothes she had died in but without the dirt and scratches. So now there are two of her own bodies that exist in this world: the one that is buried in her grave that has long since decayed over the years, and the one she has now. As a result, Hiro is in a state of being alive but also dead. She can now grow older, which is what she wanted as she wanted to grow up and experience what it's like to be a teenager and an adult, something she never had the chance to do. But she also still has her ghost powers, from small bits of telekinesis to being able teleport (although this time she teleports through transforming into a swarm of butterflies and zipping over to the other side instant of being instantaneous) except for possession. There are also some side effects like her reproductive organs not functioning at all, something she learns much later down her life as a teenager. She's...actually upset about this since the thought of having her own family one day has crossed her mind a lot in her new life, so finding out that she can't have kids period was a gut punch to her. She's otherwise healthy, sure, but...that's cold comfort to her.

Her butterflies are parts of her soul, and she can "split" one off of her to fly into a location she can't appear in as herself. As a result, she can survey the nearby area, mapping it all out and eavesdropping on certain conversations without no one noticing. As long as they're not sensitive to the supernatural, at least...

Because these butterflies are a part of her soul, she has to bring those butterflies back to her body. If something were to happen to that butterfly, such as being crushed, she will feel the pain as if someone had actually attacked her physical body. Her body is actually quite fragile due to her state of being both alive and dead at the same time, so any pain or injuries she's sustained can easily become life-threatening.

It's a good thing that she has Mari with her, then, as they would more than willingly protect her with their life. However, after the incident with Tomomi and Hiro, and the Taint on their body, Mari has been struggling very hard to keep themselves in check. They are now paranoid of any threat that may be posed to Hiro, becoming overprotective of her and even becoming downright threatening with the intent of murder if someone so much as go near her. They want to keep their promise to Hiro, they really do. But due to their lack of experience and knowledge around humans outside of Hiro and Tomomi's memories, ones that are constantly overshadowed by their own deaths by a single man, they struggle to trust anyone at all except Hiro. Hiro recognizes that they're doing their best to help support and entertain her, though, and so she does her best to be patient, even when she's uncomfortable of the signs she sees in her friend.

Mari has the same powers as Hiro has, although they can actually teleport without needing to transform into something else, it's more or less instantaneous for them. This also includes her Time powers as they have inherited part of her soul (and Tomomi's when he had taken control of them), and can both rewind and freeze time like Hiro can. However, like Hiro, they cannot rewind time beyond an hour and can only freeze time for a minute. But unlike Hiro, they are far more creative in the use of this power, especially when in battle. And they can get quite merciless...unless they're in the mood to toy with their prey.

Yeah, prey. Due to the taint that Mari has, they are in danger of bursting into a demon. They're able to keep things the taint at bay for the time being, but they won't deny that the thought of gaining souls to become more powerful to protect Hiro isn't...tempting. But they know better than that. They know.

The butterfly pin Hiro has on her flat cap actually came from Mari. They totally didn't steal it.

Her new body also ended up being slightly different as the other half of her heritage becomes more apparent in her slightly pointed ears, her golden eyes that look a lot more like a clock, and the horns on her head. Yeah, she's not just wearing her hat for sentimental reasons, it's also to make sure no one sees the horns she has as she doesn't want to risk being made fun of or worse, be demonized. She's very uncomfortable about them as she doesn't know what to make of her new appearance anymore, wondering if this is what she gets for letting her brother go as far as he did...(She does not know that her grandfather and her father isn't human at this point...at least, not yet.) She also has a ton of scars on her body due to her past deaths and the reminders aren't! Great! She's really not happy with her body, but her friends don't judge her at all, simply expressing empathy for everything she's been put through. Hiro eventually comes to accept that this is what her body is now.

The reason why she comes off as creepy to others isn't because she is, but because the people she's trying to reach out to that are even remotely familiar with her are freaking out on the inside when they see their childhood friend, who's suppose to be dead, pop out of nowhere into their lives. Showing up at her own grave the very same day you were going to visit her with flowers? Oh God, I either finally snapped and started hallucinating or the supernatural IS real, time to run! Showing up at an author meet and greet and seeing her in the crowd, scanning a copy of her book that isn't really meant for kids? Very creepy as you try to act natural even when she asks questions when it's her turn to talk to you! Seeing her at a bridge with her against the railing while you're walking home? Okay, to be fair, that's a lot less creepy and more like, "Are you okay, kid?", even when there are alarm bells ringing in your head as you question if that's even your old friend or someone else entirely. Those are essentially the thoughts that are going through her three childhood friends' heads, and you can't really blame them since, uh, the dead aren't suppose to come back to life and they're not even sure if she's even the same Hiroko Arai they knew and cared about as kids. They do eventually get their answer as Hiro is indeed the same Hiro as before, but they were definitely trying to wrack their brains over what the hell is happening at the start since they don't know any of the context Hiro has, and Hiro hasn't exactly been open about it due to...everything she's dealing with right now. So at the start of story, the three of them get together, alongside Hiro who keeps insisting that she tags along despite them trying to tell her that they're doing "grown-up" things, start their investigations on the past, the murders, and what kind of insane supernatural things are going on right now, reforming their old bonds in the process as our main POV character has isolated himself from the friends he had left due to losing his best friends to the murderer, among other things.

I'm also just a sucker for the "grumpy middle-age adult that begrudgingly takes care of a sad child and the two of them healing over time together" except this time, it's an entire friend group pitching in to co-parent this child together, who also just so happened to be an old friend of theirs from way back then that came back from the dead.

One of the old friends 100% does the "board with red string" meme at some point.

While we never got around to finishing the stories we had planned out back then, I always saw the themes of this AU as, "Actions have consequences, ones that may end up affecting newer generations as time goes on," "don't let the past define you but also don't abandon it and pretend that it didn't happen," and, "breaking the cycle can be hard, but worth the effort for those you love and yourself, as you deserve a happier, healthier life like anyone else." A lot of shit may happen in these stories, especially to the characters...but they do get a happy ending out of all this, or at least a bittersweet one where everything isn't perfect, but they can still move forward to a new future together.

And with that, I'm finally done talking about Hiro. *lays down* I tried to cut down on my rambling but I have clearly failed on that. I clearly have a lot to say about Hiro, even now, and I do genuinely want good things for her. She's such a sweet kid that just doesn't know what the best course of action is, knowing something wrong but eventually growing scared of confrontation as she believes speaking up would only worsen her relationship with others. Even though it's not even her fault, some people simply won't stop until it's too late or never learn. She and Tomomi was essentially my version of the ghost kid(s) that haunted Marionette back when I first joined my friends on their little FNAF AU. And I think that was around when FNAF 4 came out. There's a lot to adjust for the story to separate itself from FNAF but I think I'm satisfied with what I came up with and shared for now.

Here's Hiro's design, btw.

Honestly, it's about time I shared this art of her. It's old but I still love how her design turned out...even if it's not completely accurate to the time period she came from but shhh. She gets to be cute and happy here. She needs that positivity in her life. Let's hope it doesn't border on toxic positivity. ^^;

OCs are a funny thing where you start off with this initial idea that you're pretty down for, but as you develop them a bit more and maybe even sit down to design them, you realize that they're giving off a different vibe or you come up with a different idea that seems more suitable for character. Bonus points if this is an old OC that you had when you were younger and they end up changing a lot over the years as you grow older and become more mature as both a person and a creator.

This is kinda what happened with my OC, Hiro, as she used to be this creepy kid that came back from the dead after a few decades and was okay with murder as a form of justice. But nowadays she's a kid that comes off as creepy when in reality she's just a depressed kid that's desperately in need of help and support in a time where everything had changed since she's been dead for a few decades and is struggling to adjust to the modern setting after reviving herself. And she hates murder in general now. Her concept was still technically the same, it's just the surrounding details about her that changed a lot.

(Interesting to know that Hitaru was going to be a lot more spoiled and like her parents since she's never been abused like the rest of her siblings. It would certainly hammer home the idea of continuing the cycle one way or another, but I like who Hitaru is now. She's so sweet and I wanted to destroy Mrs. Nijiue SO BADLY the more I learned about her and her husband.)

THAT'S LIKE,, THE FUNNIEST INSTANCES OF THIS HAPPENING the oc does a 180 and becomes the complete opposite of the idea you crested them for in the first place, absolutely insane.

Yeah if i had kept her as an asshole it would show how sometimes the cycle just can't be broken but i think she's much more interesting the way she is not because it's surprising? In a way? Like, this is the oldest of the Nijiue siblings and the one born with a natural talent for arts so you'd expect that she would be treated the best by the parents and take after them due to that but Hitaru has it just as badly as her siblings and took it upon herself to not be like the parents and help them in the only ways she could while being in such a terrible situation. It's a nice break of expectations i think

Akemi also charger quite a bit from my original idea for the character, she was a lot meane when i first created her for voidswap, but then Mod Bubbles picked the siblings up for Asoot and it lef to her becoming a much nicer and nuanced character which is really cool because i think that's the first time an oc of mine changed because of my friend's ideas rather than something stemming solely from me so that's fun

I guess we could include Beni in this list too, but also not really? Because Beni herself really hasn't had major changes to her character ever since creation, she's remained largely the same, i just added more and more stuff to her

Even her design has been pretty much the same ever since this first sketch lmao

The thing is that before she came into my mind i had this different idea for a character which was this girl who woked at the foundation's police division alongside Ryutaro and Keisuke and she was this scaredy cat type character that was always stressed and hated her job, but I wasn't super into the idea and the design i had in mind just looked a lot like Maki + i wanted someone that could have some form of connection to the Dra so cue to me remembering Kanata had a younger siblings and coming up with Beni after i checked the list just to be sure

(Also dude do you have posts of any kind about Hiro and whatever world she comes from? It's such an interesting concept I'd love to hear more about it 👀)

[jarofstyles]

Blurb idea: Harry fucking y/n from behind as her boyfriend calls and he fucks her hard through the call

STOP!!! Ok I’ll do it. 💅

Check out our Patreon!

warnings- cheating w h, toxic relationship, anal play, spitting, unprotected sex… Oopsies

——

Y/N knew she shouldn’t be doing it, but she couldn’t resist him.

Whenever Harry came back into town… she ended up in his bed. The curse of how rare good dick actually was and the fact that he was her longest hookup, she melted like butter the second he texted her that he had touched down at the airport.

The last few times had been… particularly interesting. She’d tried to cut it off, she really had. She’d said no, said she couldn’t because her new relationship was still in its seedling stage, but somehow she ended up in the hotel bed with him plowing into her regardless.

Sweat beading on her forehead, she gripped the pillow and moaned into it as she felt him spreading her ass open, watching his cock slide in and out of her. He hated condoms and Y/N hated not feeling him, so as risky as it was… she didn’t ask him to wear one. She knew it could make her a bad person, she hated the guilt she felt afterwards but there was something so explosive and hot about their sex, how he kissed like he was devouring her, that she couldn’t stop herself from taking it.

“There it is. Missed this pussy.” He mumbled. “Creaming all over my cock. Think she missed me too, hm?” His low chuckle had her shuddering, the curve of his cock pressing against her g-spot over and over again. It was hard to speak when he gave it to her, the pure primal need of getting back to one another making them both impatient.

It was only when her phone rang with the contact photo of her current boyfriend on the screen that he slowed his thrusts, a wicked laugh leaving his throat. “Answer it.” He lowered himself down to kiss her shoulder. When she didn’t respond, he bit down on the skin to make her jolt. “Said answer it. Talk to him.”

Y/N was making a mistake, she knew, but in the depth of pleasure she listened. Grabbing her phone and scrambled to answer, putting it against her ear as he pumped shallowly into her.

“H-Hello?” She tried to sound normal but failed. Harry felt his cock pulse as she let her eyes fall closed, the phone resting against the mattress as she pressed her cheek down onto it.

“No, I’m on my run. Remember?” There was no hiding the panting as Harry was cruel, holding on her hip as he pulled her back to fuck herself on his cock. It was a glorious sight, in his opinion, her sweaty hair all over, bare body on display, slick all over his cock from how much she loved him inside of her. It was fucked up to feel this sort of thrill, but it felt like a win. A victory.

He may think he had her, but at the end of the day she would belong to Harry. He got to fuck her bare, she came when he called. Ran to him and got on her knees, loved every second of it. It didn’t matter who she dated- she’d give into him every time.

“I’ll be back…. Um.” It was hard for her to talk considering she felt like all thoughts other than how good Harry’s prick felt balls deep inside of her had escaped her head since he had gotten her naked. “I’ll be back later. I may go see my parents tonight, so we may have to um.. reschedule.”

Harry fucked into her harder, leaning his face down to whisper into her ear. “Good girl. You’re not goin’ anywhere.” It had been a bit too long for him to be satisfied by one simple round. Besides… he liked to get his cuddles in with her. Regardless of them not being together, he knew no one would be better than her.

He could hear Y/N rattle off some day she could see him next, but he wasn’t a fan of her attention being elsewhere for too long. Spreading her ass apart again, he spit thickly over her ass and slicked his thumb over it. She couldn’t help the squeal that left her mouth, wide eyes shooting back at him as she brought her hand to her mouth to gather herself as he pushed it inside. The muffled talking and asking if she was okay could be heard on the other line but Harry didn’t particularly care, pulsing his thumb into the tight hole as her poor cunt wept over his cock. This was the fuck he had been desperately needed. “Say goodbye, baby.” He whispered, squeezing her ass.

“I’m okay!! Just twisted my ankle. Let me c-call you back.” As soon as the call was dropped, she let out a desperate moan and let him give it to her how he wanted.

“Naughty fuckin’ girl. Talking to that poor boy… all while you’re getting this slutty cunt fucked and your ass played with. But you love it.” Releasing his grip, he grabbed a handful of hair to lead her up, arching her back. “You love being a filthy whore f’me. So you’re gonna let me fuck you full of my cum in each one of your holes before I send you back to that pathetic excuse of a man. You get me?”

[mv1simp]

for anon’s request: How about Lewis’ Daughter!reader like innocent and protected but Max completely makes her submit to him like actual love that she thinks Lewis is the bad guy for tryna come between their relationship? (Made it Lewis’ sister!)

Gods & Monsters ♥️

Max Verstappen x Hamilton!Reader

You got that medicine I need, fame liquor love, give it to me slowly…

As Lewis Hamilton’s younger, innocent sister, you’re desperate to prove yourself as an upcoming racer. Your family never seems to take you seriously, though, and after a fall out you end up training under Max Verstappen - your brother’s arch rival. Max promises he’ll train you to become the next world champion…as long as you do everything he asks.

Content includes: 18+ MDNI, smut, innocent virgin Hamilton! Reader, dark manipulative! Max, VERY dubcon, blindfolds, size kink, somnophilia, LH44 is sexist for plot reasons, ayo this is DARK!! 😙 3.4k WC

Growing up, you and your big brother Lewis were presented with two options. Either succeed, or fail to live upto the Hamilton name. Both your parents were incredibly hardworking and sacrificing - but all their attention would always go to their firstborn, the much older, bigger and better Hamilton. You were just as good as Lewis had been when starting out, spending every weekend on the track and dominating the junior karting races - but when it came time for you to progress into formula cars, your brother and father had chuckled, patting your head and saying it might be a bit too much for you, you were a lot smaller and younger than Lewis, after all. Maybe you should just stick to karting for now, or had you considered going into car design, you got pretty good grades in uni and that’s a much safer option?

You were understandably upset at the lack of opportunity to prove your last name. So you tried to sneak onto the F1 paddock, chatting up the team principals in the hope that they would recognise you from the karting podiums and recruit you into their junior teams-

But Lewis had caught on unbelievably fast, a tight smile and redirecting hand on your back as he led you out of the McLaren garage. We discussed this, baby sis Lewis said as you walked back to the Mercedes hospitality. He was never one to raise his voice but you could tell from his tone he was disappointed. You tried to argue again, saying that it wasn’t fair, you were a good driver too, but Lewis cut you off with a stern look. It’s not safe for you. The guys who race here - they aren’t like me, lil sis. You can’t trust any of them. I’m sorry, but you should stay in karting.

You’d slumped in resignation, briefly looking into the Redbull garage as you walked past - the only team you hadn’t yet gone to talk to. And home to perhaps the only driver who could understand the pressure you felt to live upto your father’s expectation - current reigning champion, Max Verstappen. Otherwise known as the bane of your family’s existence. He’d been the one to break your big brother’s winning streak, the subject of many a heated family discussion over the dinner table about how to defeat in a race. Truly, you hadn’t seen your big brother hate someone before until the day Max had crashed into him, sending him to the hospital and your heart rate into 200bpm as you prayed for his safety. Lewis had been fine, but his winning streak had not as Max went onto P1 that race.

So you had always learnt to stay far, far away from Mad Max. But last year when you’d been having a hard time on one of your karting races, and you paced back and forth during the red flag because normally you’d ask Lewis for help but he had started coming less often these days - you were interrupted by a knock on the door. You ran to open it, thinking your brother had decided to come after all - only to crane your head up to meet the handsome face of the tall Dutch Redbull driver. You’d immediately flushed, on guard just like your family had taught you to be and asking what he was doing - but he had kindly ignored your rudeness and said he happened to be here for another friend and had seen your race, did you need some advice?

You’d been so desperate to win that you had let him in, looking around to make sure no paparazzi had seen as you were sure Lewis would ban you permanently from karting if he caught a whiff of this. To your suprise, Max was so helpful and supportive, giving you excellent pointers and aggressive strategies your brother would never dare guide you towards. You’d gone onto win P1, and after the podium had excitedly gone to find Max and thank him. Of course, schat, he’d replied easily, a handsome smile on his face, making you blush. Since then Max had always been there to guide you at your races, making you win multiple competitions to celebrate together or comfort you after a loss. Your family had no idea, of course, because they would skin both you and Max alive if they ever knew about your close friendship.

But now, things were starting to reach a boiling point as your relationship with your brother became tense as he actively tried to deter your formula career. And Max - your kind, thoughtful friend Max - had definitely noticed this. So he casually informed you that the Redbull academy was recruiting, and personally drove you the trials the next week, and welcomed your excited hug into his broad arms afterwards as you sailed into P1 and were offered an immediate spot on the Redbull F2 team, so grateful that the older, experienced driver had taken such a genuine interest in your racing, unlike your own family.

When you tried to break the good news to your family, shit had obviously hit the fan and they demanded that you decline the position. It’s not that I’m not proud of you baby sis, Lewis had sighed. It’s that you cannot trust Max Verstappen, seriously - he only thinks about himself. He’ll definitely hurt you or use you to hurt me.

You had screamed and cried, saying that Max had been the only one to look out for you these last few months. You’d called the Dutchman for advice, sniffling and saying I’m sorry Maxie, they won’t let me go, I have to decline-

He’d gently interrupted and reminded you that you’re an adult, you know schat? And an incredibly talented driver. You should put yourself first for a change. You’d hesitated, because you’d never done anything without your family closely supervising you before - but where would you go, you say confused. You didn’t know anyone - you know me, Max offered. Come stay at mine while you sort things out, but don’t let it delay starting your F2 season.

You’d started crying again, telling the Dutch driver how lucky you were to have him as a friend. And that’s how you found yourself tucked into his much larger frame, on his private jet en route to Monaco, fast asleep from the emotionally charged day as he lovingly kissed your forehead. And your temporary residence at his penthouse dragged into months into an indefinite stay as he insisted it was safer for you, given the papparazzi that had gone crazy at the youngest Hamilton sibling switching sides - just for now, until it dies down. You’d gratefully accepted, becoming accustomed to his luxurious lifestyle and wanting to be in close proximity to Max. It was hard to control the thumping of your heart as you scolded yourself internally for your crush on the tall driver, who you were sure only saw you as a junior driver to guide.

Before the season started, Max had warned you that your family would interfere and try to turn you against him. You hadn’t taken it seriously, but when Lewis approached you at your first race, demanded to speak to you in person after you’d been blocking his calls for days, Max had been all to happy to get security to escort him away after you’d started becoming upset, just like he knew you would. Don’t pay any mind to him, schat. He’s probably just jealous of your success.

You’d found that hard to believe, because although your big brother had a few annoying traits, he would always be genuinely happy about your wins. But Max had planted the seed of doubt that began to crumble your inner self worth, questioning if your big bro had only been holding you back because he wanted to remain the family champion. Remaining on edge, your anxiety began damaging your racing and dropping you in the rankings. You slept fretfully, paranoid that you were going to be benched and would be forced to go home in humiliation and hear your family’s we told you so.

You let Max climb into your bed one night when he heard your muffled cries, running a soothing hand up and down your back, hungrily enjoying the view of your thick ass as your silky nightie rode up while you sobbed into his strong chest. And when you opened up about all your worries, it was only natural that he offered to be the one to train you, being the current world champion and all, right? You had lit up, so delighted that he had offered, flushed because truly you’d never met anyone so kind and giving like him.

And Max - well, he would never let an opportunity to get back at Lewis slide by. Training his precious little sister, the one he always protectively hid away from the rest of the grid? Oh, it was almost too perfect, he thought darkly. And it was an added bonus that you were so gorgeous, all dark curls, innocent doe eyes and a soft, curvy 5 foot figure under his almost 6 foot frame. But my training is intense, schat. Very strict. He made you promise that you’d do whatever he asked, no matter how you felt, because it was the only way to win - and that you couldn’t tell anyone else about his top secret training methods, especially your big brother. You’d eagerly nodded your agreement, looking up at him with starry eyes and saying Yes Maxie, of course, I trust you, thank you so much for offering, I’m so grateful!

As the weeks went by, Max proved himself to be the best mentor you could ask for. You two would train together, going on morning jogs, drinking the same protein smoothies, discussing the best overtaking techniques. All the time you two spent together made rumours fly around the paddock about the exact nature of your relationship - but Max dismissed them all with a roll of his eyes, telling you that it was so sexist of people to assume you were his girlfriend and not his junior driver. You’d agreed, althought you couldn’t help feeling disappointed that Max didn’t seem to think about you in a romantic sense at all.

Your rankings started improving, but Max had said that you needed a lot more work if you wanted to reach P1, especially given your smaller size compared to the rest of the drivers. You nodded eagerly, curious when he easily picked you up and deposited you in between his thick thighs on his sim rig, ordering you to show him your driving. You’d been doing so well until he started brushing his large hands across your soft waist and whispering naughty things in your ear about how sexy you looked, how hard it was to resist you every night while you slept right next door to him. You’d squealed, confused and asking just what he was doing - Trying to test your ability to focus, to avoid any distractions, Max replies disapprovingly as your car crashed on the screen. Clearly, you have a lot of work to do. This isn’t good enough!

Oh, you’d replied, feeling foolish for thinking anything romantic of it. Max didn’t like you like that, after all. So you two resumed the daily sessions, him torturing you for hours with caresses all over your body, squeezing your soft tits and pinching your nipples through your tight camisoles, and sliding large fingers up the skirt he’d always make you wear to tease your embarrassingly damp slit. You’d gone pink in the face when he first felt it, stuttering out apologies but he just sweetly reassured you that it wasn’t your fault, just a normal reaction - like this, he’d said, pulling your small waist back so you grinded on something very large and hard tucked into his sweats. You’d never felt something like that before, having never had a boyfriend since your family always kept you under their protective eye.

But it felt sooo good, you thought guiltily, hoping Max wouldn’t mind when you would be unable to resist grinding against him some sessions. He never seemed to care, instead progressing you to the next level by slipping his cock out of his sweats one night and letting it bounce up against your most innocent parts. You had gone wide eyed seeing it for the first time, not expecting it to look soo big and thick and angry, making your stomach twist in fear. But it was business as usual as Max angrily scolded you for becoming distracted, making you restart as he began gliding his cock along your puffy folds - always separated by your soaked lace panties, of course.

Once you had become a master at being laser focused, he made you develop your senses next. A good driver is always in tune with the feel, the smell, the sound of the car, he explains. You don’t question him, obediently drooping onto your thick ass in front of his spread thighs as he wraps a silk tie across your eyes. You bite your lip from the sudden disorientation, feeling nervous, but Max’s large palm comfortingly strokes your hair. At his command you poke your tongue out and hold your palms up, waiting for the first test and he almost groans out loud from your sweet gullibility. You correctly identify a bunch of different exotic tasting fruits, specific switches and buttons on the replica steering wheel - and sassy, you giggle, when you feel Max’s cat climb into your lap. He muses that he’s going to have to give you something harder to figure out cause you’re so good as this, making you blush from the praise. You curiously hear a rustle as he steps closer and then he guides your small hands to something very long and thick. You experimentally rub your hands along it, hearing Max hiss. A banana? You say dumbly after a few beats, Cucumber?

Wrong, Max says, sounding a bit breathless. Why don’t you taste it, hmm? You diligently lick the tip of it with your delicate tongue, not recognising the heady, salty taste, and begin licking more and more as you become determined to figure it out. You don’t know how many minutes have passed but you aren’t any closer to guessing it, instead saying It tastes really good, Maxie, what is it? You hear him swear, grip tightening in your hair, and then he orders you to open your mouth wide to get a proper taste, his normally deep voice even huskier than normal. You feel him trace your plush lips with his thumb, making you feel that dirty tingly feeling in between your legs again, before the mysterious warm and thick length is shoved down your throat, making you gag uncontrollably. You whine, trying to pull back and breathe, but Max’s strong hand doesn’t let up as he roughly shoves it in and out of your tight mouth.

Tears drip down your cheeks at the intensity and you’re drooling messily, but Max doesn’t seem to care one bit and you might’ve imagined it but you thought you hear the click of multiple photos being taken. Guessed what it is yet, schat? Max asks mockingly, and you whine, shaking your head. Too bad, maybe this will help you figure it out. He pushes the whole length past your lips as you feel something thick and creamy flood your mouth, giving you no option but to swallow it, licking your lips to try figure out the taste. Afterwards, Max had gently taken the blindfold off, revealing his flushed face, and wipes your tears away sweetly. Sorry I didn’t get the last answer, you say guiltily, upset that you had no clue. It’s alright, doll, Max reassured, I’m sure you’ll get it next time, yeah?

Another thing that you needed to improve was your endurance and stamina. F2 races were a lot more demanding than karting, Max pointed out, noticing how tired you would be after a race. He increased the frequency of your runs and workouts, always helping you stretch before and letting his dark gaze hungrily linger on your pliant body underneath him. You’d wear the cutest little yoga shorts and sports bras, leaving your sensitive chocolate-toned skin on display for him, and it was almost too easy to accidentally slide in between your legs or brush the swell of your breasts as he stretched you out, bending your legs right back up over your head and leaving you breathless. But it wasn’t enough for Max as you consistently scored on the podium now but never P1. So he proposed the ultimate endurance training, that all the F1 drivers did regularly - fucking.

Fu-you mean, making love?! You’d shrieked hysterically, whipping your head up as he brought it up casually when you two were watched a movie, cuddled up on the couch. He’d smirked, Sure darling, making love.

You’d looked nervous, like a deer in headlights, telling him you weren’t sure, you felt uncomfortable doing that for the first time…but Max’s stormy expression left no room for discussion. Everyone on the grid does it, all the time. Even your older brother, he said condescendingly. It’s a pretty good stress relief. Trust me, your driving will become so much faster.

You innocently eat up Max’s blatant lies, hesitantly asking if you should get a boyfriend then, that cute engineer from the Redbull garage had asked you out after all- No! Max says heatedly, glaring furiously at the thought of some other man laying their hands on what belonged to him. You look at him, confused how he expects you to- I mean, no, it’s fine schat, it’s part of your training after all, so I’ll take care of you, okay?

You flushed prettily, biting your lip and squeezing your thighs together at the thought of Max taking your virginity, as your romantic feelings had only grown the more time you spent with him. And soon enough, later that night, Max had climbed into your bed again to find you shyly waiting for him, dressed in that silky nightie he liked. Pulling it up over your hips, he moved your lace panties to the side and made you blush as he hungrily eyed your dripping innocence, just like he’d done many times while you’d been peacefully sleeping, unaware of the twisted desires your mentor had for you. He’d then stretched you out on his thick fingers, then replaced them with his even thicker cock - no condom, of course - sickly enjoying the tears streaming down your face as you sweetly moaned from pain and pleasure. Within minutes he was claiming you as his, sending you spiralling into orgasm after orgasm, screaming his name as you fell apart from overstimulation.

Max smirked at your small frame that was now passed out below him - you’d need a lot more training if this is all you could handle, he thought darkly as he gripped your petite waist, easily continuing to move you up and down his fat cock like a ragdoll. You moan blissfully in your sleep as he stretched out your virgin cunny. Maybe multiple times a day, Max decided, cause you just felt too damn good. In his bed next time, on the kitchen counter, in your driver’s room before the race and then maybe again after- and at least once in a hotel room where he neighboured Lewis. He could just imagine your wide eyes, teary from panic as you struggled to keep your moans quiet, begging him Maxie please, please not so rough as his thrusts repeatedly banged the headboard against the wall, making it clear to his rival just what kind of filthy things Max Verstappen was doing to his precious little sister.

The dirty, possessive thought makes him cum with a guttural moan, pumping you full of his generous load as he buries his flushed face in between your pretty tits to lick and bite at them. But what Max most looked forward to was the look on Lewis’ face when you would eventually show up to the paddock one day, F2 trophy in hand and a glittering rock on your ring finger to match, beaming in anticipation of replacing the Hamilton surname with Verstappen.

And no, Max would not be inviting him to the wedding.

—————————————————————————

A/N: ok anyways. This is a ridiculous amount of smut for me to have churned out in less than a day I need to touch some grass 🙏 as always lmk what you think and send in some more requests!

[beejunos]

UNKNOWN TO ME AND YOU | Alastor x reader

Summary: As Alastor's shadow starts to act strangely, hidden feelings are brought to light.

This wonderful story was written from @lustylita's wonderful idea! The story is completely theirs; I just had the pleasure of putting it into words. Their original post can be found here.

Tags: Alastor x gn.reader, hidden feelings, angst

The last couple of weeks have been very strange to you. 

Well, stranger than the hotel usually was. 

Over the past few weeks, you have helped your best friend, Charlie, with her little passion project. The Hazbin Hotel - your only chance at redemption! 

While you couldn't say that you inherently believed in her dream, you would have been a poor friend if you hadn't tried to help her—emphasis on tried. Growing up within Hell's elite, where someone always handed you everything on gold platters, didn't foster any usable skills that could help run a severely understaffed hotel. The very thought of having to clean your own room had almost immobilised you.

Did you really need to vacuum the walls and the ceilings every week? How did the cleaning staff back at your parents' manor even do it? The manor was huge! 

Thankfully, you had not been forced to clean for long because shortly after Charlie had opened the hotel for business, an unwanted guest had come knocking at the door. Alastor and his somewhat reluctant companies, except for Niffty, who seemed to thrive in the chaos, quickly made themselves at home in the hotel. 

The same night they arrived, you and Vaggie had sat Charlie down in their room and begged the princess not to let the radio demon stay. After all, the tales of his deeds had even reached your family's manor in the Envy ring of Hell. But Charlie had been persistent, saying that maybe by staying in the hotel, she could change his ways. You loved your friend; you really did, but sometimes you wanted to shake some sense into her violently. 

There was nothing you could do about the radio demon and how he just took over many of the work duties you had at the hotel. Waltzing in as if he owned the hotel, he had taken one look at your work and deemed it unsatisfactory. 

"No, no, let me do it, doll!" he would say condescendingly, making rage lick up your spine, "We would want this to be done well for Charlie, now, wouldn't we?" 

You had lost count of all the times you fantasised about grabbing a chair and introducing it to his face. 

He made you feel incompetent, and worst of all, he was right. Most of the work you had done that he had redone was of better quality, more detailed, and better planned. If you had been a weaker demon, you would have given up, apologised to Charlie and gone home to your parents, but so, if the heavens would be your witnesses, you were going to crush that smug little bastard of a sinner! 

And so began your imaginary battle with Alastor about who could be the best executive producer. If you had asked Alastor, he would not have had any clues about what you were doing, only that it finally seemed like you were taking your job seriously. That said, he still did not like you. You were a spoiled little demon brat who had never worked a hard day in your life, and worst of all, you were sloppy with your work. 

But time kept ticking. The days passed, the hotel was filled with new residents, and somehow, you and Alastor were able to work together. Nevertheless, you only managed to do it by never being near each other, which worked wonderfully for you because the man could actually be quite okay when he was silent and on the other side of the room.  

You could have continued to live like this for as long as Alastor decided to live in the hotel. There was just this teeny tiny thing that perplexed you. 

Alastor's shadow liked to be around you. 

It had begun quite innocently with the shadow coming over to you one night when you were sitting in one of the armchairs by the fireplace with yesterday's newspaper in your lap since you had started to do the crossword puzzle on the back of the paper. You had been staring at the same clue for what felt like an hour, and you just couldn't figure it out. Out of nowhere, a shadowy finger had tapped on the clue to get your attention, and when you looked up, two empty holes for eyes had looked back at you with the biggest twisted grin full of teeth you had ever seen. 

"Fuck! Don't do that!" you whispered forcefully, not wanting to disturb the peace and quiet that finally had fallen over the hotel lobby. "What do you want?" 

Prepared to be bothered any second now by the radio demon, you got even more confused when the shadow started doing pantomimes. Why in the seven Hells was it swimming across the wall?

You looked on as the shadow began to swim back to you, tapped on the clue and started to swim again.

"Swimming? But it has nothing to do with activities! It is something about effort," you said as the shadow returned to you. Since it could not speak, the shadow just started to nod its head and tapped on the clue again. 

"Is it a word derived from the word swimming?" you asked hesitantly as the shadow continued to nod. 

You turned back to the clue before you—a word for no effort needed and swimming.

"Swimmingly?" you asked the shadow, who gave you an even bigger sinister smile and nodded again before it disappeared up the stairs. Again, you were left in the lobby with only the crackling fire as a company, looking over at the stairs after the strange entity that was Alastor's shadow.

The next couple of weeks just grew more and more strange with every day. Out of nowhere, Alastor's shadow started to just interact with you. It began as innocent waves to you behind Alastors back, and at first, you wouldn't wave back, but when you saw how sad the shadow got if you didn't return its greeting, you started to wave back to it. On a few occasions, Alastor had caught you in the act, which quickly prompted you to swat the air around you as if you were trying to get rid of a fly.

When the waves weren't enough for the shadow, it started to appear around you, helping you in various ways. Once, it even helped you find some important paper you needed for your job that you were convinced Alastor had hidden from you. 

It turned out that Alastor's shadow was much more pleasant company than its physical part, and you often welcomed the shadow's help with your crosswords during the evenings.

However, you were again thrown for a loop when the shadowed behaviour started to change. It began to interact with you even more, seeking you out during the day and staying for long periods at a time, just hanging around you or observing what you were doing. 

One day, it had even brought you a blueberry muffin from the bakery you liked across town. You had no idea how it had even done that. For all you knew, shadows were not physical things and could not interact with the physical world. However, you were promptly proven wrong when Alastor's shadow took your own shadow's hand and pulled you down the hallway to show you the roses that had started to bloom outside of the hotel. 

It was a paradox, a mystery that intrigued you. Alastor's shadow, a creature of darkness, was surprisingly sweet, charming, and, at times, downright romantic. How could such a lovely thing be attached to such a vile being?

It had been like any other day. Alastor's shadow had found you in your office early in the morning, going through all the paperwork that needed to get done that day. In its shadowy hand, it held one blueberry muffin and your favourite coffee mug with a sleepy bear on it, along with the text Bearly Awaken written underneath. 

The coffee had been divine because, somewhere, the shadow had learned to make a cup of coffee exactly how you wanted it.

You continued with your day in the presence of Alastor's shadow, walking together down the corridor, through the lobby, and out the front door as you chatted with the shadow. You had gotten quite good at interpreting its pantomimes and overexaggerated emotions and often found yourself laughing at any antics the shadow pulled. 

It followed you all day as you walked around the city, picking up the materials Charlie needed for her next exercise with the hotel residents. The shadow even helped you pick out the colours for the ribbons and paints. 

At one point, the shadow's long finger had brushed against yours. It had been a cold sensation, almost like being touched by mist, but that had not mattered to you as you blushed before looking away. Missing how the shadow practically folded in on itself when it saw your reaction. 

Was it possible to date a shadow and not the being it was attached to? 

The sun was setting when you and Alastor's shadow got back to the hotel. The lobby was almost empty except for Husk, who was polishing martini glasses by the bar. As soon as he saw the two of you enter the hotel, Husk leapt over the bar and rushed over to you. 

"I don't know where the fuck the two of you have been, but you need to leave now before he finds out that your back," Husk whispered to you as he gripped your arm to turn you around towards the door. 

"And you!" he said towards the shadow, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"  

The shadow made a high-pitched whine as it stepped closer to you. You were about to ask Husk what he had meant when a loud voice boomed inside the hotel.

"Where are you?"

Husk's hand tightened around your arm as he started to pull you towards the door. You followed after him, paralysed by action, as a stone of fear got stuck in your throat. The shadow looked at you, then back at the stairs and then back at you again with anxious eyes. 

Loud steps could be heard from the hallway above the staircase, and Alastor's shadow began to be dragged towards the stairs as if by an invincible force. It desperately dug its claws into the ground, and the shadow let out a wailing scream as it looked at you with big, pleading eyes. 

Alastor was calling his shadow back to him. 

The shadow continued to fight the force of its master's call, leaving deep claw marks on the floor, and, as if a gunshot had been fired at the room, the force wholly let go of the shadow. The shadow rushed back to you, where it clung to your body like a second skin. 

"Get back here, you disgraceful thing!" Alastor could be heard shouting as a massive hand gripped the hallway doorframe and pulled itself forward. It was the hand of Alastor's most demonic form. 

Beside you, Husk had begun to shake as his claws dug into your skin.

"You need to run. Now!" he tried to push you towards the door, but it was too late. From around the corner, Alastor stepped from the dark into the light, but as he stepped forward, he shrank in size. Still, he looked terrifying. 

His eyes were a deep red with volume controllers as irises, hiding any emotions he may have had. His antlers had grown in size, sharp and imposing, making the sinner look almost regal as he sauntered down the stairs. 

"Thank you, Husker." he said, his voice dripping in venom, "I can take over now." 

Husk was about to protest loudly when he disappeared in a puff of red smoke, and you were left alone with the enraged sinner. 

"What do you think you are doing?" Alastor snarled as you started to shake where you were standing. A small whine could be heard beside your neck as the shadow clung closer to you.  

"I don't know..."

"I'm not talking to you!" Alastor's look silenced you but confused you for a second before you saw his eyes drop down to your neck, where the shadow hid. 

"Come back here and stop resisting," Alastor snarled again and stepped towards you. The shadow gave away a low whine as it clung closer to your body, and you realised it didn't want to return. In a fit of temporary insanity, you placed a protective hand over the arms of the shadow around you and stepped away from the sinner.

"No!"  

"What do you mean no? It's my shadow," asked Alastor as he looked back at you in confused rage.

"He doesn't want to be with you anymore," you snapped and turned your nose up. You stepped to the side to walk around the sinner, effectively walking away with his shadow, but as you walked past Alastor, his hand shot out, and he tried to grab your arm. But you were faster; with your other hand, you slept Alastors hand away from you and the shadow.

"Will you stop it! Don't you understand that we want nothing to do with you, so just leave us alone!" 

With determined steps, you started walking over to the staircase to get as far away from the deer demon as possible. However, you didn't get far until you felt the shadow clung even more to you as it let out a pitiful sob. Its head had fallen over your shoulder as it looked up at you with longing eyes—a gaze it shouldn't be giving you since you had just saved it from its cruel master.

"What's the matter?" you asked it as you tried to caress its cheek, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw something that you never thought you would see. 

Without a smile and ears hanging low against his head, Alastor looked at you with the same miserable longing that the shadow looked at you with. And that's when you remember something your mother used to say to you when you were a child, a long time ago. 

Our deepest desires, our most precious wishes and longings, hide in our shadows. Everything we want follows us within our shadows as the weights of our souls.  

You wanted to kick yourself for being so foolish, for not understanding until now. Maybe a small part of you had always known, but it had been easy to ignore in your imaginary rivalry with the sinner. But a shadow never lies. Even the ones who can think and act on their own. They will always mirror their owner's heart's wishes and act upon them when the host won't take charge of getting what they desire. 

"You're in love with me," you whispered. It was not a question but a statement—a statement that seemed to hang in the air for an eternity but not long enough. 

“How? What? When?” you asked, desperate for answers.

Alastor walked hesitantly towards you, looked you deep into your eyes and did something you never thought he would do. He kissed your cheek. 

Your breath hitched in your throat as his warm lips softly touched your cheek, and when he pulled away, you could still feel their presence against your skin. As if you were branded by their sweet touch. 

"Come now," was the last thing he said to his shadow as he walked around you and back up the stairs. Alastor's shadow made a melancholic chirping noise before it let go of you and followed its master.

You were left alone in the big hotel lobby. Wishing that it was your lips Alastor had kissed and not your cheek.

PART 2.

I really hope it lived up to the expectations, but I loved writing it! It got a lot more angsty than I first intended...

[rizzanon]

Ages and background info

m.list

Current timeline:

Bruce - 42

Dick - 25

Jason - 20

Cassandra - 20

Tim - 17

regressed!reader - 16

Damian - 11

Alfred - 64

Barbara - 28

Stephanie - 18

Duke - 15

sadly Duke won’t be making an appearance anytime soon because I think he only comes around in the timeline when reader is like 17/18¿? 😔

Background info (Alfred, Bruce, Dick, Barbara, Jason centered)

You don’t know who your mother is. You were left at the doorstep of Wayne Manor the moment you were born. (don’t ask how she managed to get through Wayne Manor’s cutting edge and state-of-the-art security system..) Bruce took you in and became your parent after getting a paternity test that proved that he is your father. At this time, it was Dick’s first year of being Robin.

You’d be initially taken care of by Alfred during your early years. When Bruce was busy fighting crime or with board meetings at Wayne Enterprises, it was Alfred who rocked you to sleep, tended to your needs, taught you how to read and draw. His soft and steady preference was reader’s anchor in that big, lonely manor.

Growing up, you constantly heard about your father’s brilliance—Bruce Wayne, the untouchable billionaire philanthropist, praised for his endless contributions to Gotham. The public’s expectations for you, his daughter, were impossibly high, and your every achievement was either dismissed as trivial or compared to his legendary feats.

You worked tirelessly to prove yourself worthy of the Wayne name, pouring everything into becoming the perfect daughter. But no matter how hard you tried, there were always people who’d be better than you in certain aspects, you can’t always win, can’t always get the top place. And that was the only thing the public focused on.

It hurt, but you buried the pain, telling yourself to try harder. Because that’s what it meant to be a Wayne—always striving, even when it felt like no one cared. You hoped till the very end that one day, your achievements would actually mean something to your family. To your father.

And mind you, this was before you found out your father was the Batman. And when you did, that’s when you changed trajectories and tried becoming a vigilante just like your father, like your siblings. You took up the mantle of Batgirl at 13, you trained hard, trying to hone your skills. But you weren’t meant for this life of crimefighting. You were always sidelined, and at every moment, it felt like your family was waiting for you to fail badly, so that they’d have a reason to prevent you from picking up the mask ever again. You could never be good enough, strong enough like your family. But you still pushed through, tried to prove yourself, and that was ultimately the cause of your demise.

When Dick was still in his pre-teens, I would think that he liked the idea of having a baby sister. Whenever he wasn’t off at school or out being Robin, he’d always come and play with you. But as he grew older, his teenage years, Dick would spent less and less time around the manor, and more time with his friends and the Teen Titans. He’d be consumed more and more by his missions and bonds with his teammates.

At first, you didn’t mind of course. He was your big brother. He always promised to make it up to you, he’d always promise to come back. But as the days stretched into weeks, and then months, his time spent with her became shorter, and his attention became more divided. He still loved you of course—he always tried making that clear—but his life was no longer centered around the manor, around Gotham. And by extension, that meant you too.

But that changes when you find out about your family being vigilantes. You’d feel betrayed at first upon finding out, especially because they hid this from you for so long, and if you hadn’t found out when you did, you doubt they’d even tell you.

And that makes you want to prove yourself to the family, and that’s what makes you pick up the mask and become a vigilante as well. Dick was definitely against this, and that’s what initially causes your relationship to strain with him. After all, this was when Jason had just died not too long ago. But you were adamant. With that, he did try to train you for a bit, but he ultimately ended up focusing more on Tim, who was the next Robin, and Bludhaven. He “left” you to figure out the ropes of this yourself. He was sure that Bruce or Barbara would train you.

This widens the gap between you and Dick, and at first, you ruled it off as him gaining control of his life and trying to figure out what he plans to do with his responsibilities. But then as the years go by, you notice the blatant distinction between the way he acts around you versus your other siblings.

He kept his distance from you, his interactions were friendly, but always brief. He didn’t exactly linger to check on you or talk to you after patrols. At first, you thought it was Jason’s death that was making him distant, that he was just coping in his own way. But as time went on, it felt like he didn’t see you as worth the effort. Or maybe he just thought you were fine. When he did make plans with you, most of the time, it’d get postponed, or it would slip his mind. He never really thought it was a big deal, and what made things worse was that you never pointed it out as well.

You didn’t want to confront him about this. Maybe you were just afraid to break that loose strands that was holding your relationship with him. Your bond with him. Or maybe you did not want to admit that the bond was basically non-existent.

Whereas Dick remained blissfully unaware of the way he’s treating you. Did he notice that he doesn’t spend as much time with you as he does with the others? Maybe. But did he choose to do anything about that? Not really.

Maybe one day he’ll come to realise the consequences of his actions. That maybe, he wasn’t the best big brother he could be for everyone. Dick Grayson was a man who cared about many things, a man who wore his heart on his sleeve. He was fiercely loyal, protective, and deeply committed to the people he loved—whether it was his adoptive family, his friends, or the people of Gotham. But that didn’t include you.

Dick’s commitment to his own life and responsibilities, both as Nightwing and as a person, pulled him further away from you. He was no longer the older brother who would spend hours with you, teaching you how to be better, how to be a hero. Instead, he was often wrapped up in his own struggles—focusing on Bludhaven, or dealing with the aftermath of Jason’s death. Even when he did offer advice or training, it always felt half-hearted, like he was only doing it because he had to, not because he wanted to.

There were times when you did try to approach him, to bridge the gap that had grown between you two. You wanted to confide in him, to seek his guidance and maybe find the comfort you desperately needed. But every time you tried, it was like talking to a wall. He was distant, distracted, and no matter how much you tried to show him how much you were struggling, he never seemed to truly see you.

The bitterness began to grow, and with it, resentment. Why didn’t he care about you like he used to? Why was it so easy for him to focus on everyone else while you fell to the wayside? It hurt more than you wanted to admit, especially because you still looked up to him, still wanted to be close to him the way you had when you were younger. But now, as the years went on, you realized that maybe the bond you once had was slipping away for good.

He was still the person you wanted to be, but in a way, he had moved on from you. And as much as you hated to admit it, it was easier to hide behind the mask and do things on your own. Because at least then, you wouldn’t have to face the painful truth: Dick Grayson, the brother you looked up to so much, no longer had time for you.

As for Bruce, I don’t want to make it seem like he didn’t care about you. Bruce loves his children, and I don’t want to take that trait away from him. But at the same time, you have to admit that he’s quite emotionally unavailable. From the moment you were brought into his life, Bruce is terrified. He doesn’t know if he can be a good father to raise you, especially with his line of work. And it’s not like you were like Dick. Dick was a growing boy, you were just a baby. Completely dependent on him. You were so and fragile in his arms, and he thinks you’d break if he held you any tighter.

Bruce wanted to love you the way a father should, but love didn’t come easily to him—not in the way most people understood it. His life was a constant battle, filled with shadows and danger, and the idea of bringing a child into that world felt wrong. He couldn’t protect you the way he wanted, not with Gotham always demanding more of him.

So, instead of letting himself get too close, Bruce focused on what he could control: providing for you. He made sure you had the best of everything—your education, your safety, and most importantly, Alfred.

In truth, Alfred did most of the parenting. Bruce rationalized that it was for your own good. Alfred was patient, kind, and steady in ways Bruce felt he could never be. Alfred would shield you from the darkness of the world Bruce inhabited. But deep down, Bruce knew the truth: he was keeping himself at arm’s length because he was terrified of failing you.

But with him keeping you at an arm’s length all the time, Bruce is unaware of the repercussions of his actions. That in a way, he was in fact failing you. Just, not in the way he thinks. He doesn’t necessarily realise how much of your life he’s missing. Sure, he knows he misses out on some of your events, but he tries to make up for it by gifting you more toys and clothes.

Though, that could only work for so long. By the time you were in your pre-teens, you needed more than just trivial gifts.

You needed your father.

But Bruce couldn’t see that. He never did. He only just checked in on your well-being through Alfred. And everytime Alfred tries to tell him about how you needed him in your life more, Bruce always ends up brushing it aside, claiming that you only just need Alfred.

And then comes Jason’s death. That puts a huge hole in Bruce’s heart. The death of his son is something that will haunt him forever. He vows to never fail like that again, not with anyone else he cared about. This was the whole reason why he kept his vigilante life in the dark from you. But you found out anyways. And when you did, you wanted to follow in his footsteps.

That was the last thing he wanted you to do. He tried to dissuade you from this path, but you were determined. Stubbornness was the one trait you did share with him. And eventually, he relented.

He always assigned you cases that he thought was “safe”. Cases that he knew you could handle. But everytime, you demanded more, and each time, Bruce always said no. You were his daughter, he couldn’t risk putting you in dangerous situations. He knew what you can or can’t handle. And unfortunately, that did not change over the years. He was fixated on the very fact that you weren’t cut out for this life of crime-fighting. And you never will be.

Which is why he only watches from afar, the gap between you and your father growing too far apart for any of you to try and bridge it. He only gets updates about you from Alfred, and even that was rarely asked about. And eventually, you just fade into the background, into the shadows of the family.

As for Jason, I believe there would be two parts for him. Before his death, when he was first brought into the family by Bruce, he was this small, energetic boy who had a certain sass to him. He was only 4 years older than you, and that allowed you to build a fairly close bond with him. That is, before he suddenly becomes “busy” with other stuff. Though he spent lesser time with you, he always did try and check in with you when he could. You two always read together in the library, he’d tell you all sorts of stories about Crime Alley.

But that all changed when he died. Jason’s death left a void in everyone, including you. You didn’t understand why he died, what caused his death, and you were literally heartbroken. You saw how his death destroyed your family, and you tried desperately to fix it. But nothing ever worked. Which is why you shifted your grief towards your studies, trying to make sure that you could be the perfect daughter that could fill the emptiness Jason left behind. But nothing worked. You wanted to heal, wanted to help your family move forward, but without their support, it felt impossible.

When you take up the mantle of Batgirl, part of the reason is because you wanted to honour what Jason did. His time as Robin. You thought that maybe he’d be proud of you, for stepping up and doing this. And maybe, just maybe, you’d be able to become half the hero he was.

But no, Jason was far from proud. And you only know that once he is revealed to be Red Hood years later. Jason is furious. His fury cuts deeper than you expected, not just at the fact that you’ve taken up the mantle of Batgirl, but because of the underlying betrayal he feels.

He looks at you, his younger sister, the one who was supposed to be protected, and sees someone who is willingly stepping into the very nightmare he couldn’t escape. The life that broke him, the endless cycle of violence and pain, and the years of grief and rage that had consumed him. He sees you and wonders: Why? Why would you choose this path, knowing what it did to him?

His anger isn’t just about the mantle—it’s about the idea that you’re following in his footsteps, as if you’re willing to become just like him. Worse, you’re doing it without understanding what it costs. He doesn’t want you to end up like him, as someone who can’t find redemption, who is trapped in a life of revenge. He’s already lost so much—first to the Joker, then to Bruce—and now it feels like he’s losing you too. The only family he has left.

But for you, the choice to take up the mantle was about honoring Jason. You didn’t want to replace him. You didn’t want to erase the pain he went through. But as much as you wanted to fight for the family, you couldn’t help but feel like you needed to prove yourself in a way he never had to. Your family was broken, and you thought that maybe, by stepping up, you could fix it. Maybe you could become the hero Jason never got the chance to be.

But that’s not how Jason sees it. He’s angry, and hurt, and feels betrayed—because he knows what you don’t fully understand yet. This life doesn’t fix anything. It destroys. And if you keep going down this path, you’ll end up like him—scarred, alone, and full of rage that will consume you, just like it did him.

The tension between you two becomes unbearable. The sibling bond you once shared is strained beyond repair, and Jason makes it clear that he’ll never accept you as Batgirl. He’s no longer the brother you knew—the one who once taught you how to laugh, how to stand up for yourself. Now, he’s just a stranger, a man whose hatred for the life he was brought into has twisted him into something unrecognizable. And you? You’re just another casualty of it.

No matter how much you try to explain, no matter how much you try to reach him, the gap between you two widens. He’s Red Hood, and you’re Batgirl. The two identities, both born from tragedy, will never be able to coexist peacefully. Every time you suit up, every time you fight to prove yourself, you feel the divide grow stronger. You’ve both chosen your paths, and with that choice, you’ve irreparably lost each other.

For a while, you only ever saw Barbara as the GCPD commissioner’s daughter, Dick’s friend. She had always been around, and was a frequent family friend. You never really understood why she was so deeply tied with your family until you found out the truth.

When you found out that she’d been the first Batgirl, you were amazed, and frankly, you wanted to be just like her. She, who has done so much and fought alongside your family in many battles, who has done so much to protect Gotham. Maybe this was the way for you to get close with your father and older brother. You had to prove yourself through this. That’s what you thought.

Which is why when you approached Barbara one day with the idea of being Batgirl, you expected support, encouragement, maybe even a bit of excitement. After all, she had once worn the cape and fought crime in Gotham’s shadows. But no, apparently you were getting in over your head.

Barbara’s face hardened the moment you mentioned the mantle. Her mantle. She immediately refused, telling you that it was dangerous. At first, you thought she was being protective. Jason had died not too long ago doing this, so maybe that’s why. Which is why you relented. But as she continued, you saw the weight of her words—the deep, painful truth that came from experience.

She recounted her time as Batgirl, her fight against the criminals of Gotham, and how the Joker had shattered her body and soul in a way that no physical injury could ever heal. She spoke of the night she was shot, of how she had lost everything—her mobility, her sense of security, and even a part of her identity. It wasn’t just the pain of what happened to her body—it was the mental toll of knowing that every choice she made brought her closer to losing herself.

You were taken aback, shocked by how strongly she felt. Was she really trying to stop you from becoming Batgirl? After everything she had endured, you couldn’t fathom why she wouldn’t want you to follow in her footsteps. But Barbara wasn’t just speaking from a place of worry; she was speaking from experience. She had seen firsthand how dangerous this life was, how it consumed you piece by piece, and how it left scars that would never fade.

But even as you understood her perspective, the desire to prove yourself still burned fiercely inside of you. You wanted to be more than Bruce Wayne’s daughter, more than someone who had to hide in the shadows. You wanted to stand beside your family, to help Gotham in the only way you knew how. You wanted to honour Jason for what he did for Gotham, and continue it for him. Which is why you relented, and eventually, just like everyone else, Barbara gave in. Because she knew couldn’t change your mind no matter what. Which is why she takes you on and helps with your training.

However, just like Bruce, she too only assigned you cases thst she knew you could handle. Even though Barbara had reluctantly agreed to help you become Batgirl, it was clear from the start that she wasn’t going to make it easy on you. She trained you relentlessly, teaching you the ins and outs of combat, tactics, and the stealthy finesse that Gotham’s criminals required. But even in her guidance, you could feel her hesitation. She never pushed you too far, always stopping just short of testing your limits, as though she was holding something back.

She would assign you cases, but they were always ones she knew you could handle—petty thefts, low-level gangs, the type of cases that wouldn’t put you in direct danger, that wouldn’t challenge you too much, and that she could step in and call someone else to take over if things ever went south.

At first, you didn’t mind. You were just glad to be training, to be doing something. But as time went on, the restrictions started to chafe at you. You could see how Barbara’s protective nature was keeping you in a bubble—one that was too small, one that didn’t prepare you for what Gotham truly was. You didn’t want to be stuck fighting the small-time criminals; you wanted to face the real threats, the ones that could change Gotham for the better after being dealt with.

The frustration mounted. Every time she handed you a case, every time she stopped you from pursuing something more dangerous, you felt your desire to prove yourself slipping further and further away. You knew you couldn’t keep doing this forever. Gotham was too big, the stakes too high, and you were capable of so much more. You had to break free from Barbara’s shadow, from her protective grip, and finally prove that you were ready for the challenges that came with being Batgirl—not just in name, but in action. Which is why you started doing more. Did more than you needed to, took one too many unnecessary risks.

But everything shifted when Barbara took in Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown, both taking up the mantle of Batgirl at some point. It stung. The sense of being sidelined was undeniable, and it hurt more than you had expected. Were you really that replaceable? Did you being Batgirl mean nothing?

Barbara’s training shifted with the new additions. She wasn’t the same mentor to you as she had been when you first started. She had become consumed with building Cassandra and Stephanie up, preparing them for the same Gotham streets that had torn her apart. Except, it was obvious that Barbara saw then as more capable, more stronger to take on the streets. More prepared than you’ll ever be. You were no longer her first priority. In fact, you were hardly a priority at all.

The worst part was how Barbara handled it. Instead of talking to you, explaining her choices, she just… distanced herself. There were no more long training sessions, no more subtle encouragement. Your bond, the one that had felt so strong when she first took you in, weakened and thinned, becoming strained and distant. It was as though she had replaced you with them. Maybe she had.

It wasn’t just the feeling of being replaced by two new recruits; it was the complete lack of acknowledgment of everything you had sacrificed, everything you had worked for. You had pushed through every painful night, every bruise, every tear, just to earn your place. But now, it seemed like all that hard work meant nothing. You were left alone in the shadows once again, watching as the people you cared about, the people who had once been your mentors and family, moved on without you.

The rift between you and Barbara widened with each passing day. You tried to hold on to the hope that things would change, that things would go back to how they were before. But deep down, you knew they never would. Barbara had chosen her new proteges—her Batgirls—and you were left to try to make your own way in a family that no longer felt like your own.

And as the years went by, you still held onto that mantle, and Barbara grew more distant. She checked in on you doing patrols and missions as Oracle, but that was that.

Part 2 (Tim, Cassandra, Stephanie, Damian, Duke centered)

lmk your thoughts on this because this has been on my mind for so long <33

taglist (open): @tricksters-maze @dusk-muse @quethekillerqueen @silverklaus @isupportorbitalbombardment @nxdxsworld @vanessa-boo @coffeeaddictxd @moonsbluekingdom @yuya-bubbly @percythebitchwitch @anonymousdisco @jason-todd-fangirl-14 @redsakura101 @what-0-life @idkwhattoputhete @secretyouthcomputer @witch-waycult @allycat4458 | ask to be added <3

(idk why i can’t tag some of y’all, must be your settings i think 😓)

[sommerbueckers]

HI BABY OKAY SO I HAVE A LITTLE ONE SHOT IDEA⁉️⁉️

so basically reader and paige know each other but aren’t exactly close just flirted a few times wtv wtv. so reader goes to a game and she’s wearing the other teams jersey😋😋 after the game paige sees her, they hang out have a few drinks and hookup.. and paige is like “take this shit off” then pulls the other teams jersey off reader

ALSO CAN I BE 🤍 ANON??

yes ofc you can !!

𝐚/𝐧: okay i literally love this idea , and congrats on being my first anon love !

𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞

➪ 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭

THREE DAYS AGO you had been sitting quietly in your apartment, the tv displaying an episode of Gilmore Girls that you, if prompted, could recite word for word. Leftover Chinese food sat cold upon the coffee table, your roommate occasionally returning to her forgotten bowl of beef broccoli.

“What’re you doing this weekend?” her voice abruptly cut through the silence, drowning out the show which could hardly be heard to begin with.

You leaned your elbow against the arm of the couch, shrugging your shoulders. “Probably nothing.”

“Per usual,” she snorted, amused. After reaching to pause the tv, she pulled her legs up under her and twisted around to face you. Her face held a look of mischief and you typically tried to steer away from any kind of conversation with her at this point, but there was nowhere for you to go. “Do you wanna take a little road trip?” she raised her eyebrows, hopefully.

“A road trip?” you repeated, your tone laced with confusion. “It’s the middle of February and you wanna take a road trip?”

Excitedly nodding her head, she scooted closer to you. “You know how i’ve been talking to Noa a lot lately?” She hadn’t even given you a chance to respond before she continued on. “Well her school plays UConn on Friday night and she said she could get me courtside tickets! How sick is that?!”

Courtside tickets to any game would be exciting, but courtside tickets to see UConn Paige play was an entirely different level of excitement.

You had met the basketball star at a penthouse party last summer. It was being hosted by some trust fund NYU student whose parents were out of town. It was said to be ‘select invite only,’ the hierarchy groups of the social food chain would be there along with whoever else they wanted to bring. You originally weren’t supposed to go, but after finding out your name was on the invite list, you and a few friends couldn’t think of any better way to spend the night.

Paige had been wearing a white crop top and a pair of jorts, and she looked far too good not to entertain for the night. All night you two had mingled and flirted, dancing together and taking shot after shot. Nothing came out of it other than another follower on Instagram, but you were just happy to have made the night a good one.

“Yeah, that’s pretty cool,” you admitted quietly. You leaned forward to grab the box of shrimp fried rice, aimlessly picking at it with your fork in an attempt to hide your clear interest in the conversation.

“Pretty cool?” your roommate gaped, “it’s fucking awesome! I finally get to meet her and you get to see Paige play in person.” She was practically bouncing off the walls at this point, her cheeks red from how hard she was smiling. She was biting her lip, no doubt to keep from squealing.

You sucked your teeth unconvincingly, your mind scattered as it tried to provide you with a quick response. “Why would I wanna see Paige?” you frowned, avoiding her eyes.

“Aren’t you guys friends?”

“Why would you think that?”

“Well you follow each other on Insta, and you’re always watching her games,” she shrugged innocently, thankfully not picking up on the way your eyes refused to meet hers or the blush that had unknowingly crept onto your face.

“Oh,” you mumbled, “well we aren’t.”

Unfortunately, it was the truth. You and Paige hadn't interacted with each other since the party and you chalked the night up to the two of you just having some drunken fun.

"Oh, so, do you wanna come down or no?"

You weighed your options, though the answer was clear. Stay in your apartment with nothing to do other than binge watch shows by yourself or join your roommate on a trip down to good ol' Storrs, Connecticut. You sighed and leaned back against the couch, crossing your arms.

"When do we leave?"

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡

That was how you ended up sitting courtside at a UConn versus Creighton game, a white and blue jersey over your sweatshirt, the number seven displayed on the front. Your roommate had insisted that you both wear Noa’s jersey, that way she felt ‘double the support.’ You didn’t mind despite the fact that you couldn’t name a single player on the team.

The game ended with UConn sweeping Creighton, you had tuned out sometime during the third quarter after accepting the fact that the blue jays wouldn’t be able to come back. You hadn’t even noticed the game was over until the blonde beside you stood up with a groan, throwing her hands in the air.

“That’s it? It’s over just like that?” she turned to you with wide eyes.

You shrugged your shoulders, “Guess so.”

She was beyond upset, you would’ve thought she had been the one on the court. She went on a tangent after the teams disappeared into the locker room, expressing her opinion on why the game should be longer and what Creighton should’ve done. She had no idea what she was talking about, and you knew that, but still listened nonetheless.

“Are we getting something to eat?” you asked when you were sure she was done talking.

“Yeah,” she sighed out, “not sure what Noa wants to do but we can figure it out when she gets out here.”

“Okay, ‘m gonna use the bathroom real quick.” You stood from your seat, brushing off your jersey and heading toward the bathrooms.

Never before had you been to Gampel Pavilion, and curiosity got the best of you as you disregarded the large ‘Restrooms’ sign for a more enticing place. You ambled down one of the corridors, looking at all the pictures and awards that were up on the walls. Pictures of alumni in all the different uniforms through the decades, different championship trophies and plaques.

Your eyes stopped on one picture in particular; it was from the 80s and the men had bright smiles on their faces as they held up a large trophy. Their shorts were incredibly short, and you laughed to yourself as you wondered how they’d ever played in them. Before you could bring your attention away on your own accord, a familiar voice did it for you.

“You’re not supposed to be back here.”

There stood Paige Bueckers in all her six foot glory, her eyebrows knitted together as she stared at you. For having just played a game, she looked amazing. Her hair was still pulled up in its usual braid and ponytail but it was now partially covered with a gray beanie, she had put on a jacket and sweats over her uniform and looked about ready to slip out without being seen. That’s probably what she was doing.

“Oh sorry, I—I didn’t know,” you shook your head, embarrassed.

“Nah it’s cool, usually it doesn’t matter but they’re tryna clear the place out now,” she explained with a shrug, a keychain jingling from the movement of her bag on her back.

You nodded your head, silently walking past her to make your way back to the gym.

“Wait,” she called out.

You whipped your head around quicker than you should’ve, your face holding a look of innocence as you waited, no, hoped for her to say what you thought she was going to say.

“Don’t I know you?”

‘Yeah, we met last summer,’ was what you would’ve said had you been able to think straight. Instead, you stared at her dumbly until she finally spoke again.

“I think I do, we met at that one kid’s party last year,” she said. Was she trying to remind you? Like anyone would forget meeting Paige Bueckers at a party.

“Yeah, yeah I remember,” you nodded. You rubbed your forehead with a breathless laugh, thinking of what to say next. “That night was pretty blurry to be honest…”

That’s all you could come up with?

It wasn't even the truth either. You remembered everything from that night; every look, every touch.

“No yeah I get what you mean,” she laughed, “don’t even remember how I got home.”

You nodded your head to feign agreement because you knew exactly how you had gotten home.

“Creighton fan, huh?” Paige asked, gesturing to your jersey.

You glanced down, pulling the material away so you could examine it yourself. “No uh, my friend’s girlfriend or — whatever is on the team and we just came down to support her.”

“Ah, so I take it you’re not a UConn fan either?”

You laughed, “I’ve watched a couple games.”

Another lie -- you've watched every game.

“I’ll take it,” Paige smiled. “It was good seeing you again,” she said, beginning to back up. Had you not been so captured by the shade of blue that her eyes held, you would’ve missed the way they'd scanned your body. Running up and down your legs, gently biting her lip. Her eyes once again met yours and she flashed you that signature smirk before she turned around and headed out.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡

"This place is fucking packed," Noa commented, surveying the bar with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah, i'm gonna go see if I can get us a table."

Your roommate left your side and approached the hostess podium, you and Noa now being alone near the door. She awkwardly rocked back and forth on her feet, hands resting comfortably in her pockets. "Y'all came down here together?" she asked suddenly.

"Yeah, got here a little bit before the game actually," you smiled.

Noa hummed, "Hope you aren't driving back tomorrow," she said with a small laugh.

"What do you mean?"

"The couch at the apartment isn't the most comfortable," she sighed, scratching the back of her neck, "so I was just saying you'd probably be better off making blondie drive."

As if on cue, said blondie motioned for the two of you to follow her. "The wait was like forty-five minutes but the bar has the full menu," she said and gestured to three open seats right beside each other. You all gladly took them, sighing as you finally put your feet to rest.

The bartender came around and took your orders and the three of you finally settled in. Conversation came easy, you and Noa bonded over all things basketball. You discussed the calls that were made during the game, how a lot of them were made in favor of UConn because it was their home gym and all. While it hadn't been a complete lie, UConn would've won even without those calls.

You sipped casually on your martini, letting your two friends fall into their own conversation while you busied yourself elsewhere. Your gaze moved from table to table, scouting out someone who could turn your night around from the eventful one it had been. Once again, as though the man above had been listening solely to you, Paige and her teammates waltzed right in.

She had changed out of her basketball uniform, now dressed in a pair of cargos with a long sleeve and a vest.

Instinctively, you straightened up in your chair. They'd seated themselves on the other end of the bar, Paige sitting perfectly in your line of view. You felt like a creep the way you were watching her, but you couldn't help it. There had been a point in time where Paige had been focused on you. Her hands roaming your body as you danced together, her eyes locked on yours only, determined to make you laugh. You smiled unconsciously at the memory of that night, wishing over and over that you could relive it.

When you looked up again Paige was gone, missing from the rest of her group.

"If I didn't know any better, i'd think you were following me," her voice came from close behind you, and you found her standing there with an untouched drink in her hand.

"Well if I remember correctly, I was here first," you smiled, tilting your head. You were hoping you looked cute doing it and not dopey like you had pictured yourself. "So who's really doing the following?"

Paige chuckled, "You got me there." She moved to take the seat beside you, glancing around for a sign that someone was already sitting there. When she didn't find one, she proceeded to get comfortable. You watched contently, sipping your drink with crossed legs and waiting for her to settle. "That's the girlfriend?"

You nodded your head without looking behind you.

"Whatchu got?" you pointed at her glass.

"Dirty Shirley."

"Ah, your favorite."

Paige pursed her lips, a smile threatening to break through. "How'd you know that?" she asked.

"It was all you drank that night," you reminded her.

"Hm," she smirked, "thought you said you didn't remember much."

'Fuck,' you thought to yourself.

"I remember bits and pieces," you shrugged, distracting yourself with your drink.

The blonde playfully narrowed her eyes. She remembered everything from that night, she had only pretended not to because she felt embarrassed that she remembered everything and you didn't. She had visited your Instagram multiple times in the weeks following that, cursing herself for not having the courage to ask you out or do anything other than pointlessly flirt with you.

But here she was, being presented with the opportunity to turn things around, and she planned to take advantage of it.

"So tell me, what else do you remember?"

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡

Two martinis and four rounds of shots later, you and Paige found yourselves in an intense game of pool. She was currently beating you, her only objection to sink the eight ball in while you still had a few balls left to knock in.

You leaned over with focused eyes, carefully lining up the stick with the ball. You could feel Paige's presence beside you, her breath hot on your ear as she spoke. "She's crumbling," the blonde teased. She sensed your stress and she was feeding off it, a thrilled expression upon her face. "Will she sink it? Or will she fumble?"

You pulled the stick back, and with a swift movement, jolted it forward. The ball flew quickly across the table, ricocheting off the side and rolling back toward the middle.

"Oh! She shoots, she misses!" Paige commentated enthusiastically, the alcohol running through her system and giving her a buzz. She pointed her finger annoyingly in your face as she backed away, getting closer and closer to her position behind the eight ball. She mimicked the stance you had done; leaning over the table and zeroing in on the ball.

A beat of silence passed and Paige still hadn't moved, her eyes slowly moved upwards to meet yours. A smile broke out onto her lips, she stood up and twirled the stick around in her hands. "How about we make this a little more interesting," she suggested lowly.

"Interesting how?" you snorted, leaning against the table.

She stepped closer to you, towering over you with a gaze that had you practically foaming at the mouth. If Paige wanted to take you on the pool table right at that moment, you would've let her. Of course, that was just the alcohol talking, and there was quite a lot of it.

"I need one shot to win, and I want a reward when I do."

"A reward, huh?" I raised my eyebrows, noticing her step closer, "What kind of reward do you want?"

"I can think of a few things..." she murmured. Paige was trying hard to be seductive right now, and she couldn't tell if it was working or not. She had already failed to hookup with you once last year at the party, and she'd be damned if she failed again.

"Like what?" you took a step closer, batting your eyelashes at her. You were teasing her and she knew it. The alcohol coursing through your system was giving you a confidence boost like no other, and you couldn't think of a better way to make use of it other than flirting with Paige.

"Well for starters," she sighed, pulling gently on the Creighton jersey that you had yet to change out of, "I don't wanna see this anymore tonight."

"Oh yeah?" you quirked a brow at her.

"Yeah, and when I win, i'm gonna take it off you," she said confidently.

You could feel yourself sweating beneath your clothes, the pool stick in your hand suddenly becoming difficult to grip. You cleared your throat when she finally stepped back, a knowing smile tugging at her lips as she repositioned herself on the other side of the table and focused on the ball. With a quick and calculated shot, the ball swiped cleanly across the table before falling into the desired slot.

The noise from the bar seemed to fade away as the realization of Paige's victory sunk in. People drunkenly moved around; dancing, singing, cheering at whatever was playing on tv, but none of that mattered to you anymore. You were unable to focus on anything other than Paige's blue eyes staring into yours, the color seemingly darker than it was just moments ago.

You rolled your eyes and set the stick down on the table, reaching for the hem of the jersey to take it off. Paige's hands quickly found your wrists, her face contorted in utter confusion. "What're you doing?" she asked.

You were playing with her.

"Taking the jersey off, isn't that what you wanted?" you frowned innocently.

Paige scoffed, "Don't test me. Let's go back to mine, you can take it off there."

You both bid your goodbyes to your friends, your roommate tossed you a questioning look that you dismissed with the wave of your hand. You waited impatiently outside for an Uber, Paige holding you close in attempt to shield you from the cold. Her eyes were fixed on your lips, the very ones that were trembling, begging to be warmed up by hers. From the moment she had seen you in the hallway she immediately recognized you, she'd recognize that ass anywhere. She had planned to send you a message tomorrow, running into you tonight had been unexpected but not unwelcome. It just gave her less time to think of what to say.

The car ride back to Paige's house left the two of you bright eyed and rosy cheeked; the radio was switched off and the driver spelled like he had just played in a basketball game and didn't bother to shower afterward. The backseat windows appeared to have a child lock on them, preventing either of you from breathing in fresh air. Between the buzz from all the drinking and toxicity of the car's air, you and Paige couldn't stop yourselves from laughing the whole way there. Her hands didn't leave your legs, but in the midst of all the welcomed chaos you hadn't even noticed.

You rolled out of the car, basking in the cold air with open arms. Paige trailed closely behind you, her hand on the small of your back as the two of you made your way up to her apartment. The second the elevators doors shut and you two were alone, your lips met hers in a searing kiss. She tasted sweet, like Dirty Shirleys and peach CÎROC shots. With your hands tangled in her hair, you pulled her closer, wanting needing to taste more of her.

Her tight grip on your hips, fingertips pressing into you, sent shivers throughout your body. She backed you into the wall, her tongue exploring every inch of your mouth while you lowered your guard and let her. So caught up in the taste of you, she almost missed the elevator opening up to her floor. Hardly even breaking the kiss, you two made your way out. Paige knew exactly where to go and you were blindly being led by her, stumbling over your own feet.

Paige fumbled around in her pocket for her keys, roughly jamming them into the lock and pushing the door open. The apartment was dark with the exception of a few city lights pouring in through the windows. Standing in place for a couple seconds longer, you felt the kiss slow down before Paige stopped it completely.

"Fuck," she spoke breathlessly, running a hand through her hair. She reluctantly backed away from you, turning on the lights. With the apartment's kitchen now being fully lit, you could see into the living room as well. The place was beautifully furnished, with little fake plants placed around on the shelves and pictures of Paige and her friends framed up on the walls. Her couch looked far more comfortable than the couch Noa had described earlier and you were dreading having to return to it later tonight.

Paige appeared in front of you, her hands coming up to cup your face. "I want you to go into my bedroom, turn the light on, and then sit down on the bed and wait for me," she instructed lowly. You nodded silently, backing up in the direction of the bedroom while giving Paige the sexiest smile you could muster. In reality, you were absolutely panicking.

Once you got to the bedroom, you switched on the lamp that rested on the bedside table and seated yourself on the edge of the bed. You were unsure of how to sit, or maybe you should try lying down? You decided on taking your shoes and socks off first, neatly dropping them on the side of the bed. You didn't have time to further your thoughts on how to sit because just as you had finished putting your things aside, Paige entered the bedroom and shut the door behind her. She was carrying a bottle of water that she set down on the nightstand, laughing when she noticed you awkwardly staring.

"You look uncomfortable."

"I'm not, just waiting for you," you replied, hoping the shakiness in your voice didn't betray you.

Paige walked over and stood before you, enticingly biting her lip. She leaned down at the same time that you leaned back, a seductive game of cat and mouse as she crawled forward whilst you crawled backward. Your smiles grew when your back hit the headboard and you realized you had nowhere else to go.

"You've been staring at me all night with those eyes," she murmured, and you felt her breath on your lips.

"What eyes?"

Paige rubbed her own nose against yours before she reconnected your lips. She pushed your legs apart with her hands, running them up and down the smooth material of your leggings. You let out a soft moan into her mouth when her knee came in contact with your heated center, bucking your hips in order to feel more of her.

Paige took it upon herself to quicken the pace, instinctively grinding into you. Her lips eventually left yours, trailing down your neck and leaving wet pecks all over. Her teeth bit softly into your skin, marking you as hers. You pressed her further into you, hands snaking under her shirt and roaming all over her back. Her attack on your flesh was violent, the pain pulling a pathetic whimper out of you.

"Fuck, do that again," Paige mumbled against your skin, repeating her actions a little rougher this time to gain a bigger reaction from you.

"Ah, Paige!" you slammed your hand against her shoulder, screwing your eyes shut.

She yanked harshly at the jersey still clinging to your body, "Take this shit off," she spat out. She pushed you down into the mattress, ripping the garment from your body and discarding it somewhere in the room. Your sweatshirt came off next, leaving you clad in only a bra and your leggings. Paige pulled her own shirt over her head, her necklace dangling over your face. You used it to pull her back down into you, hungry for a taste of her again.

Her fingertips crept underneath you and she hooked them onto your bra strap, skillfully unlatching it and pulling it off you. Dilated pupils gazed down at your exposed breasts, her hands hastily coming up to touch them like a child in a toy store. She kneaded, sucked, licked, kissed, her attention focused solely on your hardened nipples, leaving your neglected pussy uncontrollably dripping.

"Paige," you whined desperately, your back arching so far off the bed that Paige's hands forced you back down.

"Hm?" she hummed inattentively.

"I need you..."

A loud popping sound came from Paige letting go of your nipple, holding your stare as she lowered her body closer to where you needed her most. Just as she had hooked her fingers on your bra strap, she hooked them on the waistband of your leggings and slowly pulled them down.

Your panties were downright soaked, earning a mocking laugh from the blonde.

"So wet for me mama," she purred, a smirk on her face.

She took her thumb and ran it straight down your clothed slit. You sucked in a sharp breath, hands already grabbing at the sheets on the bed. To Paige, you looked like an angel lying there, like a good girl with those pleading eyes as you waited to be fucked senseless. Finally, Paige removed your panties and tossed them aside with the rest of your clothes.

She shamelessly played around in your slick, soaking each and every one of her fingers in it.

"Tell me you want it."

"I want it Paige," you breathed out.

Paige's face appeared overtop of you, her jaw clenched tightly in disapproval, "Beg."

You were so turned on you didn't even protest, instead just propped yourself up on your elbows to be closer to her. Her fingers danced around in teasingly slow circles on your clit, a knot gradually forming in your stomach. "Please I want you to fuck me, please baby I need it so bad. Want your fingers inside me," you exhorted pathetically.

Without wasting another second, the blonde inserted two lengthy fingers inside of you. It was like looking into a mirror the way Paige's face copied yours; when you bit your lip, she bit hers, when your mouth involuntarily gaped open, so did hers. She was taunting you, forcing you to see how undone you were becoming. Tightly gripping her bicep, you dug your nails into the large muscle.

Her fingers pumped in and out of you, thumb doing work on your clit to bring you closer to the edge. The squelching noise that filled the room sent heat to your cheeks, and if it wasn't that then it was the look Paige was giving you as she fucked you. She was proud of the mess you were becoming, the mess she was making you. She kissed your lips over and over again even though you couldn't kiss back.

Your head was spinning with thoughts of Paige, the feeling of Paige inside you. Your toes curled involuntarily, noises you had never heard yourself make before echoed off the walls of the room.

"Yes yes yes, i'm close," you cried out, "fuck just like that!"

Paige hurriedly kissed her way back down to your pussy, replacing her thumb with her tongue. She mercilessly sucked you like a starved woman enjoying her first meal, or a guilty one enjoying her last. Her tongue moved nimbly against you, fingers fucking in and out of you and feeling the tightness as you clenched around her.

"You gonna come for me, huh?"

"Uh huh," you fervently nodded.

"Hmm," she hummed into you, the vibrations nearly sending you over the edge, "let me hear you say it. I want to hear you say it."

"Yes! I'm gonna come for you..."

Paige expertly curled her fingers inside you, lying her tongue flat against your clit and forcing you to do none other than let go. The knot that had been building in your stomach finally fell apart, your legs snapping shut and trapping Paige's head there. You pushed and pulled at her, your desires becoming fuzzy as the orgasm swallowed you whole. Moans and strings of curse words unconsciously spilled from your lips. They were a stark contrast to the sweet things Paige cooed as she left kisses along your stomach, and your chest, and back up to your lips.

"Such a good girl," she whispered on your lips, "you were so good for me."

You shivered at the empty feeling you got from Paige pulling her fingers out of you, they were covered in the same slick that her chin was, glistening under the lamp's light. You smiled tiredly at her, snaking your arms around her neck and pressing your lips to hers.

"You tired?" she asked, observing your face.

"Yeah."

She pulled away from you and reached for the water bottle on the nightstand, twisting it open and bringing it to your lips. "Sleep here tonight," she said, "I can take you where you need to go in the morning."

Swallowing the water you said, "You sure?"

"Yeah, you probably can't walk after that anyway."

"Shut up," you snorted hitting her chest.

The two of you settled in bed together, your naked body finding warmth against her clothed one as she cuddled you close to her. You smiled to yourself, nuzzling your face in her neck and drifting off to sleep.

[itneverendshere]

reader maybe having a dad, like jj’s? very manipulative and controlling, sometimes it’s physical. and he comes out unexpected while rafes there

okay so i was planning to write off her parents as dead but this made me change my mind a little, hope you enjoy <3

wash the sins out of that house - r.c

pairing: rafe x pogue!reader (bartender!reader universe)

The sound of cartoons played low in the background, mixing with the faint clink of a fork against a plate. 

Rafe leaned back against the worn-out couch in your sister’s living room, watching as you flipped pancakes at the kitchen counter. Your sister’s kid, Milo, was glued to your leg, like always, babbling about some superhero show. The smell of breakfast filled the house, making it feel more like home than his own ever did.

Every little thing you did just made him fall more, if that was possible. He was always looking at you like that, like you were some kind of miracle.

It wasn’t just how good you were with Milo or how much you cared about everything and everyone. It was how much weight you carried without ever complaining, how you made everything seem easy even when he knew it wasn’t. You’d been staying here ever since the storm ripped through your house a few months back. 

Your sister was cool. Single mom, strong like you, but in a quieter way. She worked double shifts, and left you to help with Milo most of the time. Not that you ever complained, even after the long shifts, you loved to babysit. You were used to this shit—being the rock. Probably why you hadn’t freaked out when your house got leveled. You just rolled with it, found a place with your sister, and moved on like it was no big deal.

He’d been staying over more and more, crashing on the couch when he was too tired to drive back to Tannyhill. At first, it was just because he wanted to be near you when you couldn’t sleep over at his. But now… it felt like more. Like he could see himself living with you right away.

You glanced over your shoulder, catching him staring like an idiot. “You good?”

“Yeah,” He cleared his throat, leaning forward. “You need help or something?”

You laughed, shaking your head as you flipped another pancake. “You? In the kitchen? That’s rich, baby.”

“Hey, you never complain about my pancakes.” He shot you a grin, but it faded when Milo tugged at your shirt, asking something in that tiny voice of his. 

You crouched down, your voice soft as you reassured him, “Mommy will be back soon, okay? Just a couple more hours.”

You looked so at ease like you’d been raising kids your whole life. It did something to him—watching you like that. This tough, independent woman who wouldn’t take anyone’s shit, just… melting when you talked to Milo.

Rafe swallowed hard, not really knowing what to say. Every time he tried to picture your future together, it got fuzzy. Not because he didn’t want one. He already told you he did. But because he wasn’t sure if he deserved one with you. His life had been a mess half the time.

He’d hurt people. Done things.

But when he was around you, he didn’t feel like that entitled spoiled guy anymore. He felt like someone who could be better. For you.

The front door slammed open, and immediately, something was off. Rafe’s eyes shot from Milo’s cartoons to the guy who’d just staggered in. He could smell the booze before he even saw his face.

Who the hell?

You froze. The spatula in your hand hung mid-air as you stared at this man like you’d seen a ghost. But this wasn’t a ghost. This guy was real, and from the way he was swaying on his feet, he was about to make himself a problem.

“Some fucking daughters y’all are,” the guy slurred, his voice rough and soaked in alcohol. “Not inviting your old man over while he’s in town.”

Your dad? That was your dad?

Rafe’s mind spun. You never talked about your parents and he’d never asked because he wasn’t stupid. He could tell it was a touchy subject, just like his own dad was sometimes, so he never brought it up. He assumed they were gone and you only had your sister. He never imagined this. 

Not once had you mentioned your dad. And now here he was, stumbling through the door like he owned the place.

Rafe shot up from the couch, every muscle in his body tightening. Who the hell did he think he was, barging in here like that? You didn’t say anything right away, but your whole posture changed—your back straight, your pretty face like stone. You looked like you were bracing for something, and he didn’t like that one bit.

“Dad,” you said, flat and cold. “What are you doing here?”

He gave this ugly laugh, a mix of drunk and mean. “What, can’t a father check in on his daughters? Or are you too good for your family now?”

You didn’t even flinch. Didn’t say a word. Just stood there, still as a statue, while Milo clung to your leg, eyes wide, just as confused as Rafe felt.

Rafe stepped forward, putting himself between him and you. He didn’t care if this guy was your dad. He was drunk, stumbling, and saying things no father should be saying to his kid.

“Who the hell are you?” Her dad’s eyes flicked to him, narrowing, like he was sizing me up. “Rich boy? Boyfriend?”

He squared his shoulders, staring him down. “Rafe.”

“Rafe,” he repeated, laughing like it was some kind of joke. “Of course. She’d find herself a rich boyfriend. Always looking for the easy way out, huh?”

He had some fucking nerve walking in here, talking to you like that. Like Rafe was ever going to let someone run you down. He didn’t know anything about your relationship with your parents, but from the look in your eyes and the way you were gripping the edge of the counter, he was starting to get the picture. This wasn’t the first time your dad pulled something like this, clearly.

You grabbed his arm before he could take another step. “Rafe, don’t.”

Your voice was low, almost pleading. Not because you were scared, but because this was deeper than just a drunk guy running his mouth. This was something you’d been dealing with for years, and your boyfriend was just now getting a front-row seat.

Your dad sneered at you. “That’s right. Tell your little boyfriend to back off. You’re not so tough now, are ya? Always thinking you’re better than me. Always looking after your sister’s kid like you’re some kind of hero. But you’re not. You’re just like your mother. Weak.”

That’s when Rafe felt it. That surge of anger, that need to hit something.

No one talked to you ike that. No one.

He could feel his fists clench, chest tightening. He was ready to throw your dad out himself. But your hand tightened on his arm, and he looked at you. Really looked at you. You seemed tired, like you’d been through this a thousand times before, and you didn’t need him to step in. Not right now.

“Let him go,” you said quietly. “He’ll leave when he’s done.”

Rafe didn’t want to back off. Every instinct in him was screaming to throw this piece of shit out on his ass. But something in your voice, something in the way you were looking at him, made him stop. You weren’t asking for help. You were asking him to let it go. For now.

He swallowed the anger and stepped back, though he kept myself between you and your dad. He wasn’t leaving you alone with this guy, no way in hell.

Your dad’s sneer didn’t falter. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He swayed a bit before heading for the door, muttering under his breath. “Ungrateful little—"

The door slammed behind him, leaving the room dead quiet. The kind of quiet that made you realize just how loud things were a minute ago.

You exhaled slowly, like you’d been holding your breath the whole time. You turned back to the counter, flipping the pancake like nothing happened. But Rafe could see the way your hands shook just a little.

He stood there for a second, still running through everything that just went down. He’d never seen you like that before. And he didn’t like what he saw.

“Baby,” he said quietly, stepping closer.

You didn’t look at him. “He does that sometimes. Shows up, drunk, says whatever he feels like saying. Then he leaves. Same thing for as long as I can remember.”

Rafe didn’t know what to say. His mind was racing, trying to wrap around the fact that this was your life. You’d been dealing with that guy for who knows how long, and you never said a word about it.

“That’s not okay,” he said finally, his voice rough. “That’s not normal.”

You sighed, finally turning to face him. “Yeah, well. Now you met the whole family.”

You didn’t know what else to say.

There wasn’t much to say. This was just how things were for you. Your dad was a mess, and you’d learned to deal with it, ignore it even. There was no fixing this. Not really. At this point, it didn't affect you or your daily life that much.

“I should’ve asked,” he said, his voice thick with guilt. “About your family, I mean.”

I shook my head, feeling the weight of it all. “I wouldn’t have told you,” I admitted. “Probably would’ve said he’s dead.”

You didn’t want to be that girl—the one with family baggage so heavy it crushed everything good in your life. You didn’t want Rafe looking at you like I were fragile or damaged. It was bad enough that you were as broke as it got. You’d just gotten used to him wanting to help, to be a little less independent, to let him take care of you and spoil you every once in a while.

This though? You never wanted him to find out. 

But now… he knew. He knew what you came from. And you couldn’t hide it anymore.

“I don’t care,” Rafe said suddenly, breaking the silence. Like he was trying to convince you and himself at the same time. “I don’t care about your dad. I care about you.”

You could feel his eyes burning into you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. Instead, you kept your focus on the pancakes, the routine keeping you distracted. But your hands wouldn’t stop shaking, no matter how hard you tried to stop it.

“I just… I didn’t want you to see that,” You finally admitted, your voice small and raw in a way you hated. “I didn’t want you to know how messed up everything is.”

Rafe moved closer, his body warmth seeping into your side as he leaned against the counter next to you. He didn’t try to touch you, though, and you were grateful for that. You weren’t ready for that.

Not yet.

“Messed up? Baby, have you met me?” He let out this soft, disbelieving laugh, but there wasn’t any humor in it. 

You glanced up at him, finally meeting his eyes. And there it was—that soft, almost sad look he got sometimes when he thought about his family. About how his mom left and how his dad never really let him in. Ward Cameron was friendly enough with you, and he wasn’t a complete asshole to his son, but he was absent, not really caring about keeping a constant connection with his kids. It hit you then that maybe you two weren’t so different after all.

Maybe that’s why you worked.

But still, the shame stayed. The feeling that now that he really knew you, the ugly parts you kept hidden, he might not stick around. Guys like him didn’t stick with girls like you, right? Despite him doing the exact opposite until know.

“This changes nothing, okay?” he said, his voice softer now, almost like he was trying not to spook me. “Not with me.”

He wasn’t looking at you like he was about to leave. His eyes were steady, clear. He didn’t look freaked out or like he regretted being here. He just looked… real. Like he meant every word.

 “This is a mess, Rafe. You saw it.”

“I don’t care,” he said, like he needed you to hear him. “I don’t care about any of that. None of it changes how I feel about you. I love you.”

You bit your lip, turning your attention back to the pancakes because if you didn’t, you were afraid you might cry. You weren’t the crying type, but after everything, your dad showing up like that, and Rafe not running for the door—it was a lot. Too much, maybe.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to fix anything,” you said softly, flipping the last pancake and turning off the stove. “You can’t fix my dad or the way things are. I don’t want you to try.”

“I’m not trying to fix anything,” Rafe said, stepping closer to you now. “I’m just… I’m here. With you. That’s all I want.”

You felt his hand brush against yours, hesitant at first, like he wasn’t sure if you were ready to be touched. But when you didn’t pull away, his fingers laced through yours, and the warmth of it broke through the dread thad settled over you since your dad walked in.

Finally, you turned to face him, and there it was—that look in his eyes again. The one that said you were more than enough, that he saw you, really saw you, and wasn’t running for the hills. You knew him like the plam of your hand now, and he wasn’t bluffing. He never lied to you.

Your heart did this weird thing, like it flipped and dropped all at once. It was still a little scary to hear him say that. Scary because it meant he was sticking around, and as much as you it scared that was exactly what you wanted. For him to stay.

Because you loved him just as much, and you didn’t mind reminding him every day.

Milo broke the silence, tugging at your shirt again. “Is time f’pancakes now?”

You couldn’t help but smile at the innocence in his voice, the way he had no idea what had just gone down. You bent down to scoop him up, holding him close, the warmth of his growing body keeping you sane in the moment.

“Yeah, buddy,” you said softly. “It’s time for pancakes.”

Rafe watched you, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. This is why he knew you’d be a good mom one day. He kept that thought in the back of his mind every day since you gave him the bracelet on his wrist.

The way you picked up Milo and smiled—it calmed him down. The whole scene was so you—taking care of things, keeping it together even when everything around you was a mess.

“Eat up, kiddo,” you said, ruffling his hair as he dug in with way too much syrup. 

Then you glanced at Rafe again, your smile still lingering but more reserved, like you were still processing everything.

Milo was halfway through his second pancake, syrup smeared all over his little face, when he looked up at Rafe with those wide, innocent eyes.

“Hey, Rafey, we go park after?”

You were clearing the plates from the counter, and Rafe caught the quick glance you shot his way. You had a shift starting in an hour, and Milo probably knew it too, even if he wasn’t saying it.

He leaned back in his chair, wiping a bit of syrup off Milo’s cheek with the corner of a napkin. “The park, huh? What’re you thinking, swings? Slide?”

Milo grinned, syrup dripping down his chin. “Both! And the big jungle gym! You said I was big enough for it now, 'member?”

He laughed, remembering the time a couple weeks back when Milo had looked at that massive jungle gym like it was Mount Everest, and Rafe told him he was totally ready to conquer it. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

You shot him a look as you grabbed your bag, ready to head out for your shift. “You sure about this?” you asked.

Rafe waved it off. “Yeah, no problem. Milo and I got this.” He grinned at the kid. “We’re gonna hit the park and maybe even stop for some ice cream after if your mom’s cool with it.”

Milo’s face lit up like Christmas morning, and you laughed softly, shaking your head. “You’re spoiling him, baby.”

He shrugged, trying to play it cool, but deep down he liked how easy it felt, like this was where he was supposed to be. “Eh, he deserves it.”

You walked over to where Rafe was still leaning against the counter, and without overthinking it, you leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

“Ewwww!” Milo groaned dramatically, scrunching up his face like he just witnessed the grossest thing ever. “Why do you always gotta kiss him like that?”

You and Rafe both burst out laughing, and Rafe shook his head, ruffling Milo’s hair. “Get used to it, bud,” he said, still smirking. “She’s gonna keep doing that.”

“Not in front of me,” Milo said, still looking completely disgusted but clearly loving the attention. “It’s so gross!”

You grinned and gave Rafe a playful tap on the chest. “Guess we’ll have to start sneaking around now.”

Rafe chuckled, pulling you in for another quick peck. “I can live with that.”

Milo let out an exaggerated groan, dramatically slapping his hands over his eyes. “Ugh! I’m never getting a girlfriend if that’s what you have to do.”

“Good,” you said, shooting him a wink. “No girlfriends until you’re thirty.”

Rafe laughed again, and Milo just sighed, completely over it. “Can we just go to the park now? Please?”

You shook your head, smiling at how easily the moment turned light again. “You two have fun. I’ll see you later.”

You headed out the door, the sound of your nephew still groaning in the background making you smile as you went, promising yourself you’d answer whatever questions Rafe had about your parents, the second you two snuggled up in his bed at night.

[girlgenius1111]

alone.

i wrote this in maybe a half hour and it's very short but i was very in my feels so you get angsty sol as a result before the events of family line. sol struggles. there is change on the horizon, but she doesn't see it.

-----

It was the same every morning, the same every day. A quick knock would wake you, a second knock a few minutes later telling you it was time to get up. You’d throw on clothes that didn’t quite fit with Spain’s climate, tie your hair up in a bun, and go downstairs. 

Breakfast was always quiet, ever since the first few weeks, when Ingrid had tried to engage you in conversation and you rejected every attempt. She’d ask you a question that would remind you how little she knew about your life now. You’d snap back at her unintentionally, she’d get angry, and the table would fall quiet. Eventually, it just stayed quiet. 

You’d go to school, barely understand a word spoken to you. Scrape by with passable grades, most of the time. Go back to Ingrid’s house. Do your school work at the kitchen table, where she could keep an eye on you. Hide in your room until dinner. Hide in your room after dinner. Distract yourself with a mindless show, or more often, a nature documentary of some kind. Fall asleep, dream of lakes and forests and grass and mountains; things that could never be disappointed in you. 

You went through the motions. Step by step, day after day. Not really living, just existing. Not trying, either. 

You’d stop trying a long time ago. Long before Spain, before the small, bland extra bedroom you slept in. Before disappointed looks had begun to come from your sister. You’d stopped trying when you were still in Norway, still disappointing your parents. 

Back in Norway, you felt content being mostly invisible. Your parents ignoring you was better than being yelled at, though they still did that a fair amount.There was something about being here, though, in Spain that was just… different. 

Perhaps it was that part of you, little you, who still remembered Ingrid as someone who gave the best hugs and always knew how to make you smile. Little you hadn’t ever had much hope in her parents, but she’d had hope in Ingrid. That part of you clung to the idea that Ingrid could still make everything better, like she had when you were small. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t let go of that hope. 

It crushed you, time and time again, when Ingrid yelled at you, or frowned at a bad grade, or sent you to your room for being a few minutes past curfew, without even letting you explain why you’d been late [there’d been a turtle in the road on your walk from the climbing gym, and it had taken 5 minutes you didn’t have to make sure it got across safely]. When she’d sigh after another weekend passed, and you remained locked in your room. When she’d tell you to just try harder. At speaking Spanish, at making friends, at school. 

You didn’t have anything left to give. All of your energy was spent dragging yourself out of bed. Why couldn’t she see that? Growing up, it had felt like Ingrid had been the only one to see you. Now, though, she was just like everyone else. She saw what your parents saw, you decided. Someone who just wasn’t worth it. 

Ingrid had always loved you. Even when it was hard to believe that your parents did, Ingrid always told you she loved you. She hadn’t said it in a while, though. You hadn’t heard from your Mamma in weeks, the last text you’d gotten from your Pappa had been scolding you for spending too much money. [You’d bought Ingrid a birthday present, but he made you return it before you could give it to her]. 

Maybe you just weren’t someone who could be loved. You rolled onto your side, covering your ears to block out the sound of Ingrid’s loud laughter at something Mapi had said. Tears dripped off your face, and you wished you were 7 again, burying your face in your sister’s shoulder and knowing that as long as she had you, you’d be okay. That was back when she loved you, though. You were pretty sure she didn’t anymore. How could she? When all you did was screw up, who could love someone like you? 

You weren’t 7 anymore, you were 17, and you were all alone. In a house hundreds of miles away from home, with your sister who you felt like you barely knew anymore. All alone. You were beginning to think that was all you’d ever be. Alone. 

You didn’t know a lot of things, though. You didn’t know about the book shoved under Ingrid’s pillow, about troubled teens. You didn’t know that she’d stand in your doorway sometimes, just watching you sleep. Enjoying that, at least while resting, you didn’t frown. 

You didn’t know your Pappa picked up the phone often, but never called, feeling like he’d created a gap he wasn’t sure he could ever fix. Didn’t know that sometimes your Mamma slept in your bed, remembering the small child that had once smelled of syrup and brought her flowers from the garden. 

You didn’t know that Mapi stayed up late at night, duolingo open on her phone, hoping that maybe speaking a language you understood would make you feel more at home. 

You didn’t know that Ingrid loved you more than her heart could take, sometimes, and that she was just doing what she thought would work. She didn’t realize you didn’t need discipline, that you just needed a support system. 

Things would improve, but you didn’t know that. As you sobbed into your pillow, you were pretty sure you’d always feel like this; unloved and completely alone. 

[pia-nor481]

I can do it better

Max verstappen x reader smut 18+

3.6k words

She was sat on their-her bedroom floor trying to recollect herself when a loud knock to the front door broke her out of the state she was in. Her eyes were red and cheeks painted with tears. Hoping that the knocking would stop she continued to stare at herself in the full length mirror opposite her hunched over body. Evidently, it didn't stop, she practically shouted the person behind the door to wait a minute. In the mean time, she stumbled up, pulling a shirt over her body and rushing to the bathroom, in hope of cold water freshening her face up; Although it was hard to look presentable at this given time. She could barely stay up her two feet while walking towards the front door. She didn't know where her things were, phone definitely blowing up with her friends asking how her night went, even if they got a hold of her, she wouldn't answer, they'd had enough of her complaints of her love life.

Once she reached the door handle, she opened it a crack, trying to avoid her body being seen. "Sorry to just turn up but my flight leaves tomorrow and you weren't answering, and need some of my stuff before I go." Max was a pretty observant person, he had to be; so nothing slipped past him. "You open the door like this for all the men who knock?" He joked lightly, knowing she often took what he said in jest. He looked back up to her face when there was no further comment. "No, what's up? I can tell something is wrong." He said letting himself into her flat, placing his keys and phone on the counter next to hers, he saw the ample amount of WhatsApp notifications. "Come on, you can tell me what happened." It was so obvious that max still cared for her. Their relationship was always messy. They fought constantly, it started as little things; the floors not being cleaned properly or a few things left in awkward or annoying places. Both of their friends said it was good that they were fighting about things like that, claiming it was healthy to have small bits of conflict that could be quickly resolved. But it soon became a big problem when carer got involved, he was always traveling whether it be for the actual race, England to help with development of the car, or visiting his home to see his parents or even Monaco to be with his friends, but her job required her to be in one place. They tried hard to make it work, she book flights to come and see some of his races or he would stay until Wednesday night of the race week just to spend time with her, but it just wasn't enough.

There had been a few times were Max had heard her on the phone with her friends trying to convince her to break up with him, but every time she would shut them own. "He's toxic, leave him before it gets worse. There can't be anything that makes it worth the stress and disappointment." She would shake her head before remembering that they couldn't see her that's one thing Max really enjoyed, her tendency to show rather than speak. "If he's toxic, I'll wear a hazmat. You don't get it, I love him." Hearing her say things like that always made him smile. He loved her just as much, if not more. Every time he'd come back he would spend all his time awake comforting her, making her feel secure. She wasn't overly talkative when being asked questions, preferring to just shake her head or even pretend she didn't hear it; but not with max. He tried to make sure she would communicate with him, even when they fought, he'd let her scream and shout at him, he wanted to hear everything she had to say, so he knew how she felt, so he could help, He didn't get the luxury of expression when he was younger and that caused many problems. He learnt from this, he learned how to be better, he learned how to love. Max loved, no, loves her so much; it was hard for him to put it into words sometimes, she knew this, and was okay with him showing his love physically. That may have been a part of the problem, they were never close enough for him to show her how much he loved her. Although he is not the only one to blame, she was stubborn, overly so. She hated being wrong and so did he. So Max tried his hardest to not condescend her when she was wrong, but that wasn't often.

"Come on." He had to bite back the pet names he gave her in the years they spent together. "You can tell me what happened." She also hated voicing her concerns with him. She never worried about cheating, Max would never. It was like she felt neglected, but she couldn't say that, it was selfish, she was the one who said they could make the distance work. As max looked around the room he noticed how empty it was. With all of his things gone it didn't feel like home to her anymore. His house in Monaco didn't feel like home either, not without her. She looked up from her feet to meet his eyes. "It's embarrassing." His shoulders dropped, she was stupid sometimes, she didn't realised how silly that sounded to him. "And I've known you for how long?" He paused walking back towards her, resisting the urge to hold her close, to pull her into his chest and cradle her head. "At least it wasn't someone else's fault." he said slightly relieved, her eyes were still a cause for concern, even now he was prepared to fix any problem she had. The silence was loud, his anger pooled at his fists. "Right?" His eyes scanned over her whole body, making sure she wasn't hurt. "Its stupid, and I'm fine by the way. Can't you just grab your stuff and go?" she asked, almost pleading for him to leave. He was not going to leave her alone, not when she was like this.

Max went against his better judgement and hugged her, she needed it, no matter how many times she wanted to be left completely alone. "Tell me. You always feel better when you say what you're thinking, not just shouting at the mirror." She was almost reduced to tears, not only because of his words, but because she was so embarrassed. "Promise you wont laugh." She whispered through teary eyes. "Promise." He pulled his chest away, so he could look her in the eyes as she spoke. He wanted her to feel listened to, cared for. "So my friends set me up with his guy called Matthew, right." Any remaining anger turned into jealousy. He was fuming that his girl was going on a date with some guy. He pushed his feelings aside briefly, wanting to hear the rest of her story. "Well, we went out to this pretty nice place and it was going well, at least I thought so. Anyway, we came back here and he started kiss me, and you feel me up and stuff." She really didn't want to give her ex-boyfriend the details of her hook up. She paused still embarrassed. "Was he blonde and foreign as well?" Her face became warm as he let out a chuckle, this actually comforted him a bit, to see her go out with guys that reminded her of him. "Glad to see you have a type." She gave him a pointed look as an initial response. "Sorry, go on." Shifting her feet to avoid the shame. Max gave her sweet look, enticing her to speak. "When we, um, went to bed it was, uh, fine to start with but you know, he couldn't make me cum, it didn't seem like he was even trying." Her voice was shaky, her nerves were sky high, but she continued because, for once, Max was right. "So I may or may not have sent him out of the flat." She says with as sigh, looking up at her and grasping his arm for a bit of support ,not physical, but emotional, he was comforting to touch. "I am so glad I was your boyfriend and knew how to actually please you or I don't think we would have lasted as long as we did." He spoke with a crooked smile, ready of a light slap to his chest. "It's not funny Max." defeated, her shoulders slumped slightly as she tried to pull out of his tight grasp. "It is a little bit, oh no, please don't give me that look. I'm sorry I swear."

"So let me get this straight, you wanted to hook up with this guy, Matthew, and he was being a selfish prick, and now you are all desperate and pent up. That I can defiantly work with." Confusion covered her face as Max picked her up by her waist and began walking them towards the bedroom. She hooked her legs around his hips during his venture. She would often scold him for doing things without warning or saying things that he shouldn't. She began to kiss his neck, wanting his attention back on her. She knew it wasn't a good idea, but she would worry about the consequences later. One of his hands slid down her back, giving her ass a nice squeeze, he knew she liked it, not that she'd say so, he had to figure that out for himself.

Once his knees touched the edge of the bed, he placed her on it, immediately pushing her shirt up, "No underwear as well, you really do treat the guys at your door well." He let out with a smirk, before pushing her thighs apart further so he could slot between them. The ghost of his breath had her shuddering, she moaned when his lips finally touched her cunt, tongue licking a long stripe over her slit. Max looked up, not even being able to see her face as her head was thrown back at the slightest amount of pleasure. She really needed to feel him. He began to suck on her clit lightly, not wanting to rush into it and run the risk of ruining her orgasm, it hurt him to make her wait any longer, knowing she had spent so much time dissatisfied. Max shook his head side to side sending waves of bliss through her whole body.

Max got good at eating pussy from practicing on her. There were times where he spent more time between her legs than not. Her moans got louder as max put more pressure on her clit, heightening the sensation. "Could he not do this to you? No? That's what I thought." He breathed against her cunt, making her hips shift towards him. Max pulled her knees over his shoulders as he went back in, the noises that filled the room were quickly becoming pornographic. He could feel her twitching and clenching as he ate her out, Max moaned at the feeling, knowing it would tip her over the edge. "Yes, Max. Please, it feels so good." She barely got out, lungs burning. As she began gasping for air, Max could feel her ankles cross behind his back, squishing his head between her thighs. She came hard, harder than she'd done since the last time they were together. No matter who she slept with, no matter how many times she made herself cum it was never the same. "Did that feel good? Was that better than Matthew? Yeah, I know it is."

She pushed Max back slightly so she could slip off the bed and on to her knees. She undid his belt as quick as her shaky hands would allow her.  She squeezed him lightly and ran her hand over his cock a few times before actually pulling it out, she licked a long stripe along the underside, right along the thick vein of his length. Max let out a breathy groan as she took his entire cock in her mouth, reaching down her throat. His hands quickly found her hair and made pace in tangling them. He guided her up and down his cock watching from above with a pleased look on his face. She pulled off with a loud pop, then she tongued the space between the head and shaft, he let out a guttural moan at the feeling, urging  her to take him back in her mouth, it felt phenomenal. Once she hollowed her cheeks again it all became too much for max, she made him cum so hard he started to feel almost lightheaded, seeing stars, hunching over at the feeling. "Fuck, you feel so go baby. Always making me feel so good." He praised, not one lie leaving his lips, although he got to cum every time he had sex, it didn't feel as euphoric as it did with her. 

"Get up here." he said, pulling her up to her tip toes for a kiss. He slipped his tongue practically down her throat, tasting himself in her mouth. Max never understood how other guys could possibly complain about their girlfriend wanting a kiss after blowing him. If she had no problem kissing him after eating her out, what was the difference? The mix was divine, it sent blood rushing to his cock almost immediately as their lips touched. He let his hands run wild over her body, missing the warm of her skin against his. He missed being able to touch every divot of her body. He missed the control he had over her, and the trust she had in him. He was almost as pent up as she was. Max made a point of picking her up again, just to throw her back down on the bed. He noticed the framed painting was put back up above the bed. When they were together, it was almost exclusively on the floor as they got lazy hunting for it behind the headboard, He was disappointed that it was placed back to its home. Max caged her head between her arms as he kissed his way down her abdomen before he gave her cunt one final kiss. He slid his cock over her clit just to tease, he got the same reaction buy only pushing the head in and out a few times before slowly slipping his whole cock in inch by inch. She was swimming in pleasure with max slowly marking her, her neck covered in bites, a few bleeding slightly, her chest was covered in red marks, he needed to mark her as his again, no one was allowed to touch what was his. Not anymore. "Fuck." Max strained, sounding breathless and choked as he continued to pound into her, just how she always liked. He was too hot not to moan over, so she did, and he indulged her, usually he'd have to cover her mouth with his hand or push her face into the pillows to avoid noise complaints, but tonight he'd let her do anything, all he wanted was her back in his arms. He continued to abuse her walls while she gripped the bedsheets tightly, her knuckles becoming white with the new found strength. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head while the remainder of her make up began to smudge and run. Max was fucking her so well her face was painted with tears of joy, and it was just so hot. Max became impossibly harder seeing her fucked out face. He stared to fuck her deeper, hitting that spot that made her go blind with pleasure. "Oh yes Max, always make me feel so good." Her inability to articulate proper sentences was a tell tale sign she was close. Max learned how to read her like a book and it was so beneficial in times like this. 

He quickened his pace, feeling quite close himself. He could she some of this hook up guy's stuff still in her room and it just fuelled the fire. "Matthew didn't make you feel nearly this good did he, sweetheart. You can be honest because I already know." He was interrupted by a thud against the floor. "That's it, good fucking girl for me." he praised her, knowing she would melt from his words, his voice was something she admitted masturbating to when he was gone. She claimed it was mostly because of his accent, but also the tone and the pitch, it just got her so hot and bothered. "Think you can hold on just a little longer?" He asked, feeling her clench around his cock, it made it hard for him to resist. "Only for you, Max." she moaned aware it would edge him on further, fucking her felt exclusive, she was a rare and only he could have her. Perhaps he was a bit possessive, but that didn't matter now that he was with her. One of his hands slid up to her throat, pressing lightly on the sides to only slow the blood flow to her head; his other made way to her clit, rubbing fast circles with just enough pressure to really make it feel good. "Please, just.. just like tha..that." She managed to slur out before her words were cut off by a whine. Her orgasm hit so hard that her head was pushing deep in the mattress and her legs began to spasm and shake. Max only now allowed him self to cum, while she was coming down. He pulled out, shooting plenty of long, thick ropes of cum all over her torso, mainly her perfect tits that her just couldn't resist. They both sighed quietly with small laugh. 

Max gave her a chaste kiss before walking leisurely to the bathroom and picking up a towel to clean her up a bit. On his way back he turned the AC on, anticipating that she would ask him to stay; if he was he want to be touching her the entire time, in order to keep her close he needed the room cold. He brushed the towel over she skin as gently as possible, although it still pulled a moan from her. "I know, but I have to, Darling." He threw the towel to the corner of the room, knowing she'd complain about it later. "Were are my clothes?" He asked quietly, looking back at her on the bed with a grin plastered to her face. "Where you left them before moving out." still in the wardrobe would have been an easier answer but she wanted him to know she didn't want him gone. She anticipated him coming back and wanting to stay, as usual she was right. He put his classic black t-shirt on before climbing in bed with her. "I'm not putting that frame back up." was the first thing she said after coming out of her orgasmic haze. He pulled her practically on top of his body and held her close, as if someone was going to take her from him. "I know." was all he said, trying to think of the right words to convey his feelings. "I never stopped loving you." Was all he could say so he coupled it with a tight squeeze. "I know." It was her turn to give a dry reply and kiss his neck sweetly. "This is great pillow talk." Max laughed out quietly and he could feel her smile against his chest. "I'm so sorry, I should have tried harder. I shouldn't have blamed you as much as I did, I'm just as responsible. And I most definitely should not have told you to leave and never come back. I regretted it immediately, you know. As soon as I heard the door shut I lost it. I don't deserve you Max, but I need you so much." His heart ached hearing her confession, feeling her tears wet his shirt slightly. "I shouldn't have walked out. I know what you're like when you get angry. As soon I closed that door I couldn't bring myself to leave. I slept outside that door, your neighbour asked what happened and I started crying to her. I kept in touch with your friends, or at least I tried to. I needed to make sure you were okay, but it doesn't seem like they like me much. So don't say you don't deserve me, you do. We will make it to the end, I promise you. I wont lose you again. I love you too much for that." She wiped her now joyful tears as she kissed his lips again. 

There was a loud repeated knock on her door, they tried to ignore it, assuming it was their neighbours complaining about the noise, they normally gave up after a few knocks. But this one persisted. "You stay here and keep warm alright, I'll se who it is." Max got out of the bed a recovered her body in blankets while walking with unnecessary pace towards the door. He swung it open aggressively. "Look I'm sorry about that but can I just get the rest of my clothes and leave, there's no need to-" The guy, who max assumed to me Matthew, stopped upon seeing Max. "Sorry man, but that's not happening. Not while I'm here. I don't think you even deserve it, especially if you can't make such a desperate woman come. Only took me three minutes . So fuck off now will you." Max said before slamming the door, feeling relieved as he reached her again. "I love you so much Max."