#and I know four isn't that much

[whistledownbad]

Polin Week: Day Four | Mirror

i once believed love would be black and white

but we were in screaming color

-Taylor Swift, "Daylight" & "Out of the Woods"

[arealtrashact]

Ignore my previous post. My favorite character isn't Homelander anymore - it's this guy.

I'm so serious.

I've rewatched this scene about a dozen times now simply because I get a kick out of seeing 'Homelander' moving so freely / fluidly. Don't get me wrong, I love how composed the real Homelander is (almost) all the time. Hands behind his back, sometimes on his hips if he's feeling really sassy. . .

But I tend to draw him in some very exaggerated poses ( flaunting some pretty out-there color palettes ) so getting to see an iteration of him moving so animatedly while wearing this delighted me on what can only be described as a primal level.

[trashlie]

I HAVE WAITED AN ENTIRE MONTH TO MAKE THESE! I HAVE BEEN SITTING ON THIS STUPID IDEA FOR FOUR WEEKS. PLEASE. ENJOY THESE LMAO 

i’m alkfjFLJAFJAFKJLKAJFLKJFKjfkjafkjakjfjkaf you know? 

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

video games need to stop straight up telling me things abt the story. i rarely ever want a solid answer in a game that i'm playing ever. stop giving me story beats that i don't have to work for. stop rewarding me for not thinking after not giving me enough time to think.

give me lore morsels out of chronological order. give me unreliable narrators. give me shuffled perspectives. blur the lines between protagonist and antagonist and between past and present. give me confusing as fuck plot elements and force me to put the pieces together with my own bare hands or die trying. cryptic story lovers rise up.

[shift-shaping]

hello assorted sluts, marauders, and various other entities of ill-repute

i want to let you all know that i will be doing field work for the next two weeks-ish starting tomorrow. while i will have internet access, i'm not bringing my laptop. as such, i'm probably not going to post any new fics during that time. i have them, and will be writing more of them, but i hate editing on my phone very much, so they will not be ready for your eyes.

i'll still be around, though less than usual because i need to go sit in a quarry and poke at a wall with a dental pick all day so i can find more body parts from these things and their many horrible (affectionate) neighbors

(art by scott reid)

[burr-ell]

To expand on the previous post (with excellent addition by @kerosene-in-a-blender), I genuinely believe Laudna as a character would be a lot stronger in one of two scenarios:

1. Ditch the Whitestone stuff. I say this as someone who has produced almost nothing but de Rolo content—that is too big a part of Campaign 1 not to completely overshadow anything different the character tries to do in a long-form narrative. I think they could have threaded that needle, but that requires so much more focus and attention that a fast-paced story about a moon conspiracy just isn't built for. It's been 65 episodes and Whitestone nostalgia is all the character has meaningfully contributed to the narrative.

They put themselves between a rock and a hard place before the story even started. You can't bring in Delilah too often without inevitably treading on Campaign 1, but you also can't use her too little—not just because she's Delilah Briarwood, but also because that's the patron of a PC and your PCs need to be taking center stage. And yet there is nothing Delilah's presence has done in the story thus far that could not have been accomplished by a completely different, hitherto-unknown necromancer patron. Laudna's experiences in Whitestone could be replaced with a similarly traumatic backstory (it's not like Exandria is hurting for necromancers abusing power) and she'd have to actually elaborate on it and flesh out the worldbuilding and think about the backstory instead of being able to lean on "Hey, you guys remember that Briarwood arc? Freaky, right?"

2. Keep Laudna as she is and use her in an EXU miniseries. Set it in northwestern Tal'Dorei, where she's been wandering aimlessly for thirty years, spending half the time disassociating and half the time making her dolls. She meets a colorful group of people and they go on some adventures, and she finally decides to take back her life and do something about the voice in her head. You'd basically keep the Whitestone episodes of C3 as they are, give or take a few beats, as the climactic episodes of the series, and then the newly fire-forged friends set off for whatever new journey awaits them.

Maybe Laudna switches patrons; maybe she ditches the warlock thing entirely; maybe she ends the miniseries not knowing what she wants but excited to learn about it with her new companions. Mini-campaigns don't have to worry about that kind of thing! You can have your Whitestone nostalgia and some fanservice while still telling a pretty fun story, and it won't feel like a weird extra appendage to a main campaign that otherwise has very little to do with it. I wouldn't say it's a story I'd be interested in seeing continue, but it's perfectly serviceable for something small and self-contained.

What it has not been serviceable for is the long-form story of Campaign 3.

Honestly, I was a little concerned about all of this even before I started watching all the way through, but I wanted to give it time and judge it for myself. I don't believe in unfounded doomsaying, and I wanted to give the show a chance to do something interesting. And it has been 65 episodes, over 260 hours of content, which I think puts us well past the window of "give it a chance", and Laudna has spent the vast majority of her time not meaningfully engaging with her levels of warlock if it doesn't contribute to creepy girl vibes. (She frankly isn't engaging with her levels in sorcerer, either.) She's never even addressed potentially finding a new patron—so does she not want to? But then why is she so distressed about the idea of Delilah resurfacing? And if she does want a new patron, why has nothing actually happened in the almost-thirty episodes we've had since the Whitestone trip? If she's been "fighting Delilah for thirty-odd years", why didn't she take the chance to explicitly try to connect with, say, the Sun Tree? Or literally anyone else?

And honestly, as a Campaign 1 fan I have to say I'm also frustrated at how Delilah's presence specifically undercuts that story. Like, yeah, you have a technical reason for why she's still here, but "well she IS a powerful necromancer" is just a mechanical explanation, not a dramaturgical one. Her story is done. The chapter closed. She had ample opportunity, including when specifically asked by the Hells, to state any specific goals—any at all—and didn't. This is the woman who menaced Percy and Vex? This is the woman who permanently killed Vax? ...Really?

It could have been an interesting challenge to take on in referencing something from the past while bringing something new to the table, and it's not like they haven't done that before; they've already shown with Jester and the Traveler that it can be done. But they haven't done it here; any opportunity for Laudna to grow beyond her vague concepts—"What if Sun Tree Body...with Delilah patron? What if weird scary girl...but happy?"—has been generally ignored. Her killing Bor'dor is the first time in the entire campaign that she's done something that really got my attention, and in two episodes it's almost immediately papered over, followed by some inexplicable "must you continue to reconquer?" word salad about the gods.

Marisha explicitly refused to create a new character until she knew for sure whether or not Laudna would be resurrected. But if she enjoys her so much, when is she going to do anything meaningful with her?

[larissa-the-scribe]

🙏Jeanne

Prayers? Yes, please, she needs all of them that she can get adfasdf

Jokes aside, she's not really sure what her position on God or religion is, but she's read parts of the Bible, and has a tendency to try to pray when she is in trouble. Whether this leads her anywhere or not still remains to be seen....

[daybreakrising]

BLADE HEADCANONS - Y.INGXING & THE HIGH CLOUD QUINTET

before i begin, just a reminder that this is my personal headcanon and i don't expect anyone else to agree with me. regardless, this is how i will approach blade's history with the high cloud quintet, so it needs to be its own meta.

and whilst i am firmly on the hill that the high cloud quintet were a nice little polycule, i won't force that on anyone. blade's feelings towards the other four will remain the same, but i leave it to the writers of those muses if they want to go down the polycule route or not. i'm good with either.

also if you want a beautiful animated short that revolves around their story, then i direct you to this video. i've watched it at least a dozen times since i found it and i am now drowning in hcq emotions ;_;

A HIGHLY PASSIONATE INDIVIDUAL

i've talked before in this meta about how for someone to hate as fiercely as blade does, one must also have the same capacity to love - and that this is the remnants of y.ingxing that linger within him. y.ingxing as a man was proud, confident to the point of arrogance, but also incredibly passionate about the things that mattered to him. and i mention all of these things specifically because it is at the root of why i see him having deep feelings for every member of the HCQ.

it's a cliché, of course, to say "there's enough of him to go around", but it's also true. y.ingxing has such capacity to love that it cannot be restricted only to one person. now, that's not to say he cannot do monogamy - he can, absolutely - but i do feel like he thrived most under the affections of (and in giving affection to) many.

but lauri, i hear you say, why can't it just be platonic affection? why does it have to be romantic? well, it doesn't have to be, and in fact, in every case regarding the HCQ, that's how it started for y.ingxing: these are people he admired, respected, cared for deeply. they were his friends. none of these dynamics started out with romantic intentions & whilst there would definitely be degrees of initial attraction involved with some of them, he certainly didn't seek their company for that reason.

for the majority of those connections, that deep platonic love for them didn't develop into something more until he was well into adulthood, having spent many years alongside them. and, of course, each relationship was different.

FORGING BONDS FOR LIFE

j.ing y.uan

there was also the boy who kept bickering with him.

it was j.ing y.uan who first sparked something beyond friendship in y.ingxing's heart, though it wasn't acknowledged until well after the fact. they had a good-natured rivalry right from the start, being similar in age (at least in emotional maturity if not actual age, given one is a long-life species and the other a short-life), and though they bickered constantly, it was always in good spirits. the banter, the sparring, the fond little jabs at each other - this kindled the first flames of an affection that went beyond platonic.

y.ingxing treasured that rivalry from its beginning to its end. he found in jy not only a true friend but someone he felt he could rely upon no matter what. for all their bickering, there was no one more loyal than jy. and that meant everything to him. it still does.

b.aiheng

what difference does it make to your achievements, whether you're a long-life or a short-life species? just focus on what you want to do, and let fate take its course.

things progressed somewhat differently with b.aiheng than with jy. she was the first of the hcq that y.ingxing truly trusted - she had known him when he was still that shy, insecure apprentice, and her words of encouragement had pushed him to find the confidence in himself that he would later become known for. she was the first person he opened up to, allowed himself to be vulnerable with, and he adored her. her endless optimism, her vibrant nature, was always enough to chase away any lingering doubts or worries he had about himself and his skill. he attributes a great part of his success as a craftsman to her for this reason. without her continued encouragement, he might never have had the confidence and inspiration to achieve great things.

that adoration didn't blossom into something more until he was invited into the hcq officially, and started spending even more time in their company. it was so easy to see why b.aiheng was the most loved amongst the five - what else could they do but love her? her spirit was something to be greatly admired, and admire it y.ingxing did with his entire soul. he would have done anything if it earned him one of her smiles.

dan f.eng

out of all of us, you were the closest to him. it was strange, really — to see someone so arrogant get along with someone so proud.

there is no denying that the bond between y.ingxing and dan f.eng ran deep - deeper than any other bond y.ingxing had within the hcq. but, as with the others, it was its own unique bond: y.ingxing loved j.ing y.uan for his loyalty and friendship, b.aiheng for her spirit and belief in him - and dan f.eng for the kinship he felt with him from the start. of all the hcq members, he felt instantly drawn to dan f.eng for no reason he could name. there was simply a natural comfort to be found in his presence, one he didn't question, and one he came to value highly.

of all the hcq members, the path from admiration to adoration was much shorter in the case of dan f.eng than the others. perhaps this is in part due to the timing of their meeting: as an adult already aware of his growing affections for his fellows, y.ingxing was more in tune with his emotions, more comfortable in following his heart's desires, less afraid to chase what he wanted and certainly not lacking in the confidence to approach it head on. whatever the reason, y.ingxing cherished the moments spent in dan f.eng's company, even those - especially those - spent in companionable silence.

j.ingliu

at first, i wasn't too fond of his defiant nature...

as with the others, his relationship with j.ingliu was very different - and remained the most complex of them all until the end (and has since become even more complicated-). initially, y.ingxing sought only to earn her respect and admiration, caring little for anything beyond her acknowledgement of him. that she had inspired his respect and admiration goes without saying - he was in awe of her skill and strength, though he may not have outwardly shown that for the longest time, choosing instead to relay a more subdued acknowledgement of her prowess, largely as a matter of pride.

the sword he crafted for her was the ultimate test, in his eyes: only the sword champion of the luofu cloud knights can tap into the full potential of this sword i have crafted. and seeing her wield it, this blade forged specifically for her hand - that was the moment y.ingxing knew there was more to this bond than simple respect or a desire for acknowledgement. and of course there was: what else was that blade forged with but love?

LITERALLY, FOR LIFE

y.ingxing held onto these bonds so tightly, treasured them so fiercely, that they linger still somewhere within blade, though often clouded by mara and painful memories. of those relationships, the one that brings him the least pain overall is that of j.ing y.uan - his friend, his rival, the first one to win his heart but certainly not the last.

but blade is not y.ingxing; and whilst he still carries these bonds in his heart, things will never be the same. such bonds may have to be forged anew from the ashes that remain.

REGARDING INTERACTIONS WITH HCQ MEMBERS

as said at the beginning, this is how i approach blade's history with the rest of the quintet. however, i am in no way suggesting that any of these feelings were reciprocated - or if they were, that they were acted upon. if i'm writing with any of these characters, i leave that decision up to them, and we can discuss how the dynamic would play out both in the past and in the present. regardless, y.ingxing loved them all and i will die on this hill.

tldr; y.ingxing was in love with every member of the high cloud quintet, each in their own unique way.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

🌸 !!CHAPTER FIVE POSTED!! 🌸

Title: Four Walls

Tags: slow burn, domesticity, friends to lovers, smut, pining post sias/pre am era

Summary: Disillusioned with LA and on the heels of a breakup, Alex goes to stay with Miles in London.

[cryptocism]

the idea of Three keeping Four's corpse and even more than that, the thought of his reaction of Four's death in the first place, hits different knowing their messed up relationship and that they still saw each other even after Four was Inertia

yeah omg chapter 11 went through so many changes from first draft to final, and portraying Three and Four was a big part of that.

because i'm trying to do all these mirrors and echos with these characters and their relationships, Three and Four has a lot of the same ingredients as Six and Seven, Eight and Nine, or even Three and Five. (which are ultimately all foils of Bart and Thad, the different ways that their relationship and attitudes towards each other could manifest given different circumstances and choices, while still being distinct enough to stay true to each of the clones' characters)

Three and Four have the worst most toxic version of that dynamic, and figuring out how to write it without getting WAY too dark and gritty but still make clear these guys are super fucked up went through many many rewrites and changes. i think i landed in a pretty alright place by the end, although because the chapter is ultimately from Six's perspective, a lot of Three's internal conflict and Four's feelings/motivations can't be as blatant as I might've made it if either of them were the ones with the reigns on the narrative. instead their motivations feelings and emotions have to be kind of deconstructed from actions and gleaned through context.

i have my own like, "intent" when writing the things that Three and Four do and the choices that they make, but because their perspectives aren't actually shown there's likely a lot of room for reader interpretation. which i love to see tbh

[shalom-iamcominghome]

hiii, im a conservative convert who wears tzitzit! it's definitely not the community norm, and you'll probably get some ppl reacting weirdly or telling you you're getting "too frum" (or maybe that's just my shul...), but that's their problem — what matters is whether you find it meaningful, and how it enhances your connection to Hashem. it's always a positive thing to take on a new mitzvah. personally i have found it to be deeply meaningful. and if you're worried about people's reactions, you can always wear them tucked in! i will add that if you're wearing out, it's my opinion that you should not do things publicly that violate halacha such as eating at a non kosher restaurant, but i also recognize that im very stringent in general for myself so of course, you should speak to your rabbi and use your judgement in making those decisions. all this to say — honestly yes, you will probably be the odd one out at a conservative shul if youre wearing tzitzit, but as long as it's something you find joy and meaning in, then it won't matter!

sorry this was a very rambly paragraph lol, but i really do encourage anyone who feels intrigued by this mitzvah to start wearing tzitzit without worrying too much about what people think. i think it's a beautiful way to remind yourself every day of your dedication to Hashem and to Torah <3

Absolutely! I don't really see anything jewish as being "too frum" to observe - because frum people are amazing people and because the things we call frum are just... part of judaism? I've found so much meaning in the things I have been able to do, and I've found... it's not just as simple as "I do this because I'm told to," these mitzvot are meaningful because of how grounded I've felt doing them, how they remind me I'm part of a bigger world that's not just "me," that I represent part of the human condition and I should act like it. I think a lot of people almost... oversimplify these mitzvot to the point where they can't understand why it's meaningful - which isn't really a bad thing, because I get it! We don't find the same meaning in the same things! But I just love celebrating all of these mitzvot because I think they're deep and personal and bigger than just "do this arbitrary thing lol"

[gayemeralds]

Whats your honest opinion aboutnthe fandoms love for sonic and tails brotherly bonding biven that canon is not as strong on that regard

sorry for waiting like. months. to answer this question i’ve been pondering the best way to answer this for literally. months.

i guess the thing is i’ve never really thought about the domesticity of their relationship? a lot of fan things that depict them as brothers are very domestic, the little interactions between them living together and all that. sonic brushing tails’s fur. sonic telling tails to eat his vegetables. them shopping together. things like that. like, i do think they are brothers, and that they view themself as brothers, but i guess i don’t see them as conventional brothers? i’m not quite sure how to articulate this. like they ARE brothers, and they care about each other, and have a different sort of relationship than knuckles and sonic, and sonic and amy, and sonic and cream. but i wouldnt say they’d be anything like ed and al from fma. hm. it took literally thirty years to hear sonic call tails his brother in a game.

like, when i think of them, i’m inclined to think of my sister and i’s relationship. we’re about six years apart, no siblings in between. we love each other a lot, but we don’t see each other a whole lot, because we’re just in super different parts of our lives. i don’t live with her, but i’ll crash on her couch every once in a while. i don’t see her often. i am excited to see her when she visits.

so like, i think sonic did raise tails, in a sense. i think sonic probably took care of him when they first started hanging out and tails was literally just four years old. but sonic’s independent by nature and older by a good chunk of years, and i don’t really think he’d actually enjoy taking care of someone. sonic CARES and loves tails but i would not say he’s a nurturer, and he doesn’t want to be tied down. so once tails got a workshop, assumedly around sonic adventure (at least, a stable one), sonic ditched. i don’t think the two of them live together. sonic’s literally homeless and loves to wander the world for like, months on end. i don’t think sonic and tails do chores together. i don’t think sonic’s at tails’s workshop for long periods of time. maybe to crash on his couch and read a book every once in a while.

sonic visits, yeah, but i also think there’s just long periods of time where they don’t see each other. early sonic games from adventure to the “dark” era of sonic games indicate they don’t see each other for long periods of time (”long time no see!”) and when they do see each other, its often because of a new scheme from eggman or a danger to the world. like, sonic 06- they didn’t even plan on meeting each other, they just happened to cross paths.

i don’t know if this particularly makes sense. i just don’t really see them being particularly domestic together. neither of them are conventional people, and sonic especially is the type to enjoy alone time and adventuring; tails is a little more inclined to stay in place so he can work on his new machines, traveling usually for research or to help sonic. they’ve got different motivations and hobbies so i think they don’t actually spend a lot of time together. it’s probably similar to how much time sonic and knuckles spend together, since knuckles is almost always stuck on angel island with the master emerald.

(plus, if we consider the timeline sega’s been trying to tell us, where every game seems to happen in the span of a year, and tails has always been eight and sonic’s always been 15, or something similar, where tails isn’t a literal toddler when they meet, i really don’t see them doing anything domestic together at all. sonic’s always on the road and tails is off doing inventing or occasionally helping sonic out. if tails wasn’t four-ish when they meet, i don’t really think sonic would... like, take care of him the same way a “parent” would. amy rents her own house in station square, and she’s like twelve. it seems to be the norm, at least in our perspective, that young mobians are allowed to be left to their own devices; like, we still don’t know what’s up with charmy and the chaotix. sure, he could ahve been adopted by vector i suppose, or are his parents just super chill with him hanging out with a bunch of detectives? lmao. and besides, tails is a pretty smart cookie. he really can take care of himself, and sonic would just leave him be since he seems “old enough”, at least in the sonic world, to do so.)

[sage-nebula]

STH - Had My Ducks in a Row, Now They're Slowly Falling Out of Line

Notes: I had intended to work on Beyond Oblivion tonight, but ever since I made that post about Metal Sonic calling Tails an unworthy child the other night (and then also made a post about Tangle being a good big sis), I've been thinking about this . . . and so this ended up coming out instead. Originally it was meant to be just Tails and Tangle, but as I finished up their section Sonic's came to mind, so I couldn't resist adding that in too.

Credit for the idea that Sonic has a little unease about Tails making so many weapons goes to @chaoxfix, because that headcanon is just too perfect to pass up. Hope you don't mind that I borrowed it!

Also, this is my first time ever writing for Tangle, so I hope she sounds all right, because I love her to pieces.

Summary: Months and months ago, Neo Metal Overlord called Tails unworthy. And he knows it's stupid to keep thinking about it, but it's been living rent-free in his head ever since. [Post-Chao Races & Badnik Bases, pre-Trial By Fire]

- - -

Tails scowled at the schematic spread over his work bench, and pressed his pencil lead a little harder into the paper.

Unworthy child!

His pencil lead snapped, the crack echoing with the words in his head, and he let his forehead hit his workbench with a groan.

It had been months since that day—months since the battle of Angel Island, though after the Metal Virus pandemic it felt as though it had been so much longer. But it really hadn’t been; everything happened so quickly nowadays, one crisis right after another, that there were times when Tails felt out of breath even when he was standing still. It wasn’t all bad; he genuinely liked adventure, especially when he could help Sonic save the world. But that was the problem, wasn’t it?

He chewed the inside of his cheek, and squeezed his eyes shut.

He had helped, during the battle of Angel Island. No matter what Neo Metal Overlord said, he had helped. He crashed the ship straight into Metal Overlord—he took him down! Sonic was so proud of him. Tails couldn’t say he wanted to do it again (in fact he’d say the opposite since he’d ached for days after that, not that he’d admit it), but he would say, would insist against the nagging voice in his head, that he had helped that time. He’d helped save Angel Island, and the world.

But . . .

But then the Metal Virus pandemic happened. Sonic got infected, and Tails couldn’t help him. Oh sure, he’d come close to working out a cure. But one set of infected Chao had been all it took to sabotage his data and make him lose everything. And though he had managed to retrieve one of the Chaos Emeralds from Zomom with Amy’s help, not only had he not been the one to come up with the idea to begin with, but at the end, all he’d been able to do was cower and hope against hope that Sonic would pull through and save the day. Sonic, who had been fighting off the infection for the duration of the pandemic. Sonic, who was already at the limits of his exhaustion. Everything had fallen to him, again, and Tails had been able to do nothing to help except retrieve one lousy Emerald.

(Well, that wasn’t fair. The Emerald wasn’t lousy. The Emerald helped Sonic achieve Super form, which allowed him and Silver and Metal to save the day. That was more than Tails could say for himself.)

Sonic hadn’t held it against him, of course. Sonic never did. When Tails was too scared of lightning to pilot through a storm, or revealed that a Chaos Emerald was fake and got Sonic ejected into space in a soon-to-be exploded capsule—no matter the situation, Sonic never blamed him. For all his spiky quills, bravado and the way he could snark at their enemies, Tails knew the truth: Sonic was a softie, and way nicer than most anyone gave him credit for.

Tails lifted his head so he could fold his arms on his desk, his chin resting upon them. He laid his pencil in front of him, and gave it a light flick so it rolled up the desk, and then back down to his waiting finger. Another flick sent it rolling up again.

It wasn’t like Tails had accomplished nothing in the interim. He had found schematics to fix Omega . . . even though he couldn’t read them. And Sonic had trusted him to go raid an old Eggman base to try to find the cipher he needed so that he could read them, and that was where they found Belle. And later, when they went to help Amy and the others at White Park . . . well, Tails had gotten kidnapped by Starline and tied to a rollercoaster to emotionally blackmail Sonic. But Rouge had, too, although she’d managed to cut her ropes and free herself faster than he did. But that was all right, wasn’t it? Because then he’d helped her alert the others so they could evacuate the tourists. And though Starline had tried to grab him again, this time Tails managed to protect himself . . . through using Belle’s kicking reflex, albeit without her permission to do so.

Unworthy child!

Tails huffed a sharp sigh to try to dislodge the twist in his gut, and flicked his pencil hard enough that it zipped off the back of his workbench and tumbled down to the floor.

“Whoa, buddy! Is this a bad time?”

“Huh?” Tails sat up and twisted around in his seat, blinking in surprise as he caught sight of Tangle in the doorway of his workshop, her fingers gripping the top of the doorframe as she swung lightly inside. “Oh—no. Do you need something?”

“Nah, not really. I was just kinda bored, and in the area, so I thought I’d drop in.” As she spoke, Tangle skipped over and hopped onto a stool beside Tails’ workbench. It spun halfway around, but she caught herself on the side of the desk, and swung back around to face him. “What’cha got goin’ on?”

“Nothing much.” Tails glanced back at the schematic he’d been working on, a half-finished design for a new rocket launcher. There was no need for it, really, but there wasn’t not a need for it, either. That’s what Tails told himself, anyway, or told Sonic whenever Sonic questioned him about why he was building so many different weapons. Maybe they didn’t need rocket launchers right now, but who was to say what would come in the future? There was no telling when Eggman or Starline or whoever would attack again. It was better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.

Unworthy—!

“Helloooo?” Tangle waved her hand in front of his face, and Tails jumped a little, blinking as he refocused on her. “Everything okay in there? You seem a million miles away, little dude.”

“Oh—yeah! I’m okay,” Tails said, and he forced a bright smile. Tangle smiled back, but not all the way; her forehead was creased, her brows pinched in the middle. “Sorry, I was just . . . thinking.”

“About what?” Tangle asked. When he didn’t answer right away (he was never good at coming up with lies on the spot), she nudged her calf against his shoe, and gave him a cajoling smile. “C’mooon, tell me! We saved the world together, right? A couple different times! You can tell me things. I promise I’ll only beg to try out whatever cool new invention you have up your sleeve a total of three times if you tell me about it.”

Tails couldn’t help it; he cracked a smile, despite himself. “It’s not that. I—the rocket launcher’s not coming along as hot as I’d like. It’s nowhere near testing stages yet.”

Tangle’s eyes lit up. “Rocket launcher?”

Tails cast a glance askance at the schematic. Solar power was the way to go, he thought; there was an endless source of energy right there in the sky, just waiting to be used. But none of the batteries he’d built could build up a charge quickly enough, or hold enough of a charge for long enough, to be used in something like a rocket launcher. He’d been working on solar power batteries since even before Metal Sonic’s coordinated badnik attacks, and yet—

Unworthy . . . !

“Do you ever—” Tails began, then stopped. This was stupid. It was stupid to still be thinking like this. If he told Sonic—

Sonic wouldn’t say it was stupid. Sonic would never say something like that. He’s too—he’s not mean enough for that. Even if he thought it, he’d never say it.

“Do I what?” Tangle kicked her feet back against the leg of her stool, and when Tails said nothing, she swung her tail around to poke him in the head. “C’mon, don’t leave me hangin’. Finish what you were gonna say, I’m all ears.”

Tails ran a hand across the back of his hair, smoothing down the fur Tangle’s tail had tousled. “It’s nothing. It’s stupid.”

“Stupid? From you? Mr Kid Genius? I highly doubt that.” Tangle put her elbow on his workbench, and leaned her cheek into her palm. “Come on, just tell me! Whatever it is, I promise I won’t tell a soul. Cool tail buddies honor.”

It was stupid. There was no way to explain that he was letting something Neo Metal Overlord said rot in his head for months without sounding stupid. But the thing about Tangle—the thing Tails liked about Tangle—was that she was unapologetically sincere. She wasn’t afraid to be enthusiastic about things, or embarrassed even when she was clumsy and made mistakes. She said they were cool tail buddies, but Tangle herself wasn’t concerned with being cool. With being a hero, sure. But not with being cool. And she was best friends with someone who was just as much of a nerd as Tails himself was, albeit about different things. It didn’t matter that Jewel’s wardrobe consisted of nothing but pantsuits and that she unironically loved organizing. Tangle still thought she was one of the coolest people in the world.

So maybe, even though what he thought was stupid, it would be okay if he told Tangle. Maybe she wouldn’t think he was any less cool himself. And she probably meant it when she said she wouldn’t tell anyone; he hadn’t known her to ever lie before.

“Okay,” Tails said at length, and Tangle’s eyes lit up. “But I’m going to hold you to that. If you tell anyone, you’re out of the cool tail buddies club.”

Tangle put two fingers to her forehead, and popped them off in a salute. “Yessir! So, what’s got your tails all twisted? In the bad way, I mean.”

“It’s just . . .” He’d resolved to tell her, but even now, the words felt stuck in his throat. Tails wished he hadn’t flicked his pencil off the desk; he needed something to fidget with. He took a deep breath. “Do you ever wonder if—if maybe you’re . . . if despite anything, you’re just—holding people back? Or not . . . contributing what you should be?”

Tangle blinked, and sat up straight on the stool. “What?”

“I mean—” Tails swung one of his own tails up so he could fidget with the tip; he couldn’t look her in the eyes anymore. “You do your best. And you do contribute some things. But it’s—when it matters, when it really counts, you just . . . fall short. You have to rely on someone else for help, to save the day. And you—no one’s mad about it, and they’d never say it, and you do some things so you know you’re not totally useless, but you wonder if, if maybe . . .”

“If, maybe . . . you made one mistake too many?” Tangle offered, and Tails’ ears flattened against his head, his shoulders hunched as he cringed. “If maybe at first it could be passed off as you just being inexperienced, and not really knowing what you were up against, and so you underestimated the enemy and he got the jump on you because of that. But then later, after you knew better and could be trusted, you still got careless and your zombified best friend got the jump on you and turned you into a zombot, and so she realized she really couldn’t rely on you after all. And so the real reason she left you behind wasn’t because you were working with the Restoration and she felt that your place was with them, but was actually because she felt she couldn’t count on you as her backup anymore because you’d already let her down once, so who’s to say it won’t happen again? And you can’t even fault her for that, because you did let her down once and, anyway, if she wanted you along she would have let you go with her, but she didn’t and that means that if you go after her now, you’re disrespecting what she wants and are just going to get told to go home again because she doesn’t want and can’t count on you at all.”

Tails furrowed his brow halfway through Tangle’s speech, and by the time she was finished, confusion clouded his anxiety so thoroughly he could hardly feel it anymore. “Huh?”

Tangle blinked; for a moment, it looked as though she’d almost forgotten he was there. Then she laughed loudly, and waved a hand through the air as if dispelling smoke from burned cookies. “Just as, you know, a totally random and totally not specific or in any way real scenario.”

Tails frowned. “Right . . .”

“But, anyway. My totally random and not specific or in any way real example aside—am I hearing you right? You think you’re not contributing enough? You?” Tangle reached over with her tail again, and this time gave him a light push on his shoulder. “Have you seen all the stuff you’ve built? You’ve got two whole workshops filled, plus all that stuff at Restoration HQ. You’ve got a crazy amount of inventions! And you’ve saved the world, several times! And you’re only eight! You know what I was doing when I was eight? I was parkouring off cliffs, and not even on purpose. Jewel didn’t get those guns of hers by hauling rocks around her museum, let me tell you. She got them from hauling my sorry butt back up from the cliff I threw myself down for the third time in a week.”

Tails chuckled. “Yeah. But—”

“But nothing.” Tangle flopped her tail on top of Tails’ head, and he brushed it away. “You are hands down the coolest eight-year-old I’ve ever seen in my life. So what if you need help sometimes? Everyone does, and you should know; you help people all the time. So why’s it bad for you to get helped back, huh?”

“It’s not bad. I just . . .” Tails flailed a hand, gesturing to nothing. “I’ve been doing this for a long time now. I just feel like maybe I should be . . . better, by now.”

“Well . . .” Tangle tilted her head side to side, considering. “That’s not a . . . bad thing, maybe. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re totally awesome and should have way more confidence in yourself. But if you were totally satisfied, then you couldn’t get even better, right? You’d stop trying. And there’s no way this world would be able to handle it if you stopped trying, so that would be no good.”

Tails gave her a wry smile. “The world would be fine. I mean, there’s Sonic—”

“Sonic can’t invent the things you do,” Tangle said. Her tail poked him in the chest. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s amazing and a hero and we’d all be doomed a thousand times over without him, and if I get to go on another adventure with him tomorrow I’ll have waited too long—but he’s no scientific genius, y’know? But you are, and you’re cool and nice and not evil or bonkers like Eggman or Starline. So we definitely need you in our corner.”

Warmth flooded Tails’ cheeks, and he looked away as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Thanks, Tangle.”

“Don’t mention it, li’l dude. What are cool tail buddies for?” Tangle winked, and Tails felt his smile grow. “So, what’cha workin’ on? You said something about a rocket launcher? Please tell me you have a rocket launcher.”

“Not yet,” Tails said, and Tangle’s shoulders slumped in exaggerated disappointment. “But I have been working on a few other things, like a new set of prototype missile gauntlets.”

Tangle sat straight up in her chair, eyes shining. “Missile gauntlets?”

“Yeah—well, I was thinking about Knuckles, you know? He’s a brawler, so he specializes in close-quarters combat. But Eggman knows that, so if he sent badniks to Angel Island, they’d probably be ones that are built for long-range combat.”

As he spoke, Tails hopped off his stool and crossed the room to the workbench along the back wall, where the prototype gauntlets—having just had the finishing touches put on them the night before—sat. Tangle followed close at his heels, her eyes the size of dinner plates.

“So just in case he gets attacked by long-range badniks and we’re not near enough to help, I figured these might be able to give him an extra boost. They can function like normal gauntlets in close-range combat, but if he presses this button here by curling his wrist—” Tails indicated a button on the inside cuff, “—then it’ll deploy missiles from the knuckles of the gauntlet, here.” He tapped his fingers along small, barely visible missile compartment doors along each of the four knuckles. “Of course, right now each gauntlet only holds four missiles, so it’s not exactly practical for a long fight, and I haven’t figured out how best to reload them, especially since Knuckles isn’t exactly the greatest with technology, but—”

“Those. Are so. Cool!” Tangle squealed, and Tails jumped yet again, his tails spinning this time to keep him a few inches off the ground until his heart rate slowed. “Can I see them in action? Can I try them out?! Please, please can I try them out?!”

“Well, I made them for Knuckles, so they’re a bit big, but . . .” Tails eyed Tangle’s clasped hands, and then her pleading eyes and wobbling lower lip. He grinned. “Gimme ten minute to adjust the size, and then we can go out to the target range out back.”

Tangle let out another delighted squeal, and scooped him up in a bear hug. For the second time in under five minutes, Tails felt his feet leave the ground. “Woohoo! You’re the best, Tails!”

Tails laughed as she set him back on his feet, his own tails swishing behind him. “Heheh, well . . . I try.”

- - -

It wasn’t too uncommon for there to be reports of explosions in the general vicinity of Tails’ Mystic Ruins workshop. Tails was a super genius, but he was a super genius who often worked with explosive materials and way too much electrical charge, and so every now and then, things were bound to get a little explode-y. So when there was talk of an occasional kaboom heard in the Mystic Ruins, Sonic didn’t usually get too worried.

But sometimes it wasn’t just one kaboom. Sometimes it was multiple kabooms. And when those multiple kabooms were accompanied by talks of missiles and rockets and lots of yelling . . . that’s when Sonic’s quills got set on edge.

It wasn’t in his nature to panic right away. Multiple kabooms, rockets, and yelling didn’t necessarily mean that Eggman had decided to strike again, targeting Tails’ workshop directly this time. But when Sonic tried calling and got voicemail—well, that still didn’t necessarily mean Tails was in danger. Maybe he was just caught up in whatever he was working on, and didn’t hear his communicator beep. So Sonic tried again, and once more, got voicemail. And when he tried a third time . . .

Well, he didn’t try a third time. Kabooms, missiles, yelling, voicemail. All four things combined meant it was time to pay the Mystic Ruins workshop a visit.

Fortunately, he wasn’t too far away. He made it to Tails’ home in record time, picking up the pace when he caught sight of the wispy spirals of smoke rising in the sky from Mystic Ruins’ border. As he wound his way through the Ruins, he spied no badniks—but then, that was probably intentional. Ol’ Egghead was probably laying a trap. Not a very good one, considering how fast word spread that something was going down in Mystic Ruins, and how obvious the smoke was visible against the sky, but—

Another explosion rent the air, and rocked the earth enough so that Sonic stumbled as he reached Tails’ front door. Immediately following, he heard a whoop of delighted laughter from behind the workshop.

He blinked, and stood up straight. Was that . . . Tangle?

Seeing as how nothing seemed to be happening inside the lab, Sonic looped around to the back, where Tails’ outdoor testing area and target range was. Upon reaching the back, three things immediately became clear:

One: His ID of the voice he heard was correct; Tangle was indeed in what remained of Tails’ backyard.

Two: Tails was just fine, and not under attack at all. He had his tablet in hand, and was surveying the wreckage with a grin from his vantage point up in the air.

And three: Rebuilding the testing area was not going to be fun.

To say it was in ruins was an understatement. Every single target, from the ones that had been pinned to the trees, to the stationary standees, to the ones that Tails had built into moving tracks in the ground, had been blasted apart in some form or another. There were little embers smoldering in the grass in different parts of the yard. Several trees had been knocked over. A pair of rickies were staring at the carnage with horrified awe from the roof of Tails’ workshop.

Tangle spotted Sonic as he rounded the corner, and while she had already been sporting a manic grin, her smile somehow grew even wider as her hand shot into the air and she waved at him. “Hey Sonic! What’s up?!”

“Seems like that’s what I should be asking you,” Sonic said, as Tails swooped down to land beside him. Sonic raised an eyebrow as he glanced over at Tails. “Some people were saying they heard explosions out this way, so I figured I’d swing by to take a look. Everything okay?”

“Yeah! Tangle’s just helping me test some new gear,” Tails said, as Tangle zipped over to them at speeds Sonic didn’t know she was capable of. She still wasn’t on his level, of course, but he did have to step out of the way as she blazed by, a trail of fire sparking on the grass behind her.

“Rocket boots,” Tangle said, before Sonic had a chance to ask. Her eyes were shining brighter than a pair of suns, and she pumped her fists in front of her. “He made rocket boots!”

Sonic laughed. “No kidding?”

“They’re for Shadow,” Tails explained, and he held out his tablet so Sonic could glance over the schematics on the screen. “I know his are still in okay shape, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be better. And I’ve added extra propulsion to these ones to add more force to his kicks. You know, since he likes to kick people.”

“He does like doing that,” Sonic agreed.

“I mean, who knows when we’ll see him again. But if something does happen, I figure it might be nice to give him a boost. You know, as thanks for helping us out. I’m thinking about making some for his Chao, too, so it can keep up with him.”

“Not sure he wants to be bringing that little guy into battle. Though you never know, maybe Cream and Cheese’ll inspire him.”

“Right? So it won’t hurt to be prepared, just in case.”

“Okay, as absolutely freaking adorable as the idea of Chao rocket boots sounds, I’m ready to try out the next thing,” Tangle said, already slipping out of the rocket boots she’d lit the grass on fire with. “You got anything else, little guy? Please tell me you have something else. You’ve gotta have something else.”

“Hmm . . .” Tails tapped his finger to his chin in thought, and then grinned. “You know, I did finish a prototype for a magnet gun last week. It works by using magnetism to attract and repel metal, theoretically turning anything used against us into possible ammunition to—”

“Is it in the same area of your workshop as the other things?” Tangle interrupted, eyes bright. Tails nodded, and Tangle pumped her fist into the air. “Heck yes! I’m on it!” With that, she turned and dashed back into the lab.

Sonic shook his head, smiling as he watched her go, and then looked back at Tails. Tails was already skimming through the schematics on his tablet again, no doubt searching for the magnet gun’s folder so he could make notes based on Tangle’s tests. Now that he knew the workshop wasn’t under attack, his quills settled back into a more relaxed position, his heartrate returning to its usual fast, but not supercharged. Tails was safe. He was having fun with Tangle. His yard was destroyed, but they could deal with that later. Sonic would help, and he would only be a little melodramatic about it.

But it seemed like everything they had tested so far was some kind of weapon. Even the boots for Shadow—didn’t Tails say something about adding more firepower to them, to help Shadow in combat? And a magnet gun, while it didn’t have ammunition of its own . . .

So much had happened so fast. Eggman had successfully taken over the world, and kept Sonic in captivity for six months, during which Tails was alone. Then not long after that, Metal Sonic had tried to take the Master Emerald, and the world with it. Then there was the Metal Virus pandemic, and the incident at White Park . . .

Sonic loosely crossed his arms, his head tilted as he examined Tails. Tails was still scanning through the blueprints on his tablet, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth.

He was such a smart, strong, brave kid. But he was also, well . . .

“Hey,” Sonic said, and Tails looked up, his ears perked in question. “You doing okay?”

“Huh?” Tails blinked, as though caught off-guard, and for a second—just a second, so quick Sonic almost missed it—it looked like something clouded his eyes. But then he smiled as the door to his workshop opened again, Tangle bounding back out into the yard. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

Something was there. Sonic didn’t know what it was, but he did know he didn’t like it. Tails was so smart, and strong, and brave. But . . .

“No reason,” Sonic said. “Hey, doesn’t that new AGES game come out this weekend? How about we give it a spin?”

Tails grinned, and wagged his tails in a hard enough circle that he lifted a little off the grass. “Really? You want to?”

“Definitely,” Sonic said, and he grinned as Tails beamed, and did a delighted little loop in the air.

“All right, I’ve got the gun,” Tangle said, and Sonic took a step back as she hefted a heavy, dark blue-grey weapon in her hands. Once again, her smile was manic; it was not at all hard to believe that she had destroyed all the targets in the yard with glee. “Show me how to work this thing!”

“You got it!” Tails dropped back down to the grass, and leaned closer to Tangle as he started to give her a detailed run-down of the gun: the trigger mechanism, magnetism strength modification slider, the whole works. Sonic shook his head, and as Tangle nodded fervently along with Tails’ instructions, bounded up onto the roof to sit beside the rickies and watch the chaos that was about to unfold.

Tails was a smart, strong, and brave kid. But he also was still a kid. More specifically still, he was—and always would be, no matter how old they got—Sonic’s kid brother.

Tails indicated a hunk of scrap metal on the other side of the yard. Tangle took aim and fired. The magnet gun’s magnetic beam worked as intended; it secured the scrap metal in a vibrating grasp, and propelled it straight back at Tangle at alarming speed. Heeding Tails’ shouted warning, Tangle spun herself in several circles, swinging the scrap metal around her, before she released it and sent it flying. It crashed clear through a tree, and made a strong dent in the tree behind it. Tails, delighted, saved the video on his tablet as Tangle crowed in triumph.

No matter how much he wished he could, Sonic couldn’t stop the bad things from happening. And no matter what he said, he knew he couldn’t make Tails feel like he could slow down on making an armory big enough to outfit the entire world—at least, not for long. But whatever nightmares bugged Tails at night, or spurred him to develop new guns and rockets during the day . . . well, maybe Sonic couldn’t dispel them completely, but a chill weekend of video games and junk food definitely couldn’t hurt.

Tails retrieved the scrap metal and set it out so Tangle could give the magnet gun another go, and Sonic leaned back comfortably against the roof to watch the show.

[beedreamscape]

I hoped for Aabria as a guest player and it happened, so I'll voice my hopes and dreams here again.

I hope quiddie doesn't go too far from the cr studios since I want need her back there as a DM again because I really need to see the crown keepers again also bc I wouldn't mind seeing her dming in exandria again it's been long enough 👉🏼👈🏼

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

A Song of Salvation

YA space fantasy adventure

a reborn god in the body of a girl on an isolated planet, a grumpy space pirate, and a famous space-radio podcaster end up together on the run in the middle of an intergalactic war - and they might have the key to end it

m/m and pre f/m, demi MCs