#and I know I'm privileged to be able to say this when people's lives are about to be destroyed but I think I'm more sad than anything
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yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt · 7 hours ago
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I've seen some people making some very good points about Vander and his role as a parent to Powder and Vi, especially related to criticisms about how he wasn't as stellar of a parent as the narrative portrays, specifically that he was emotionally neglectful, parentified Vi and failed to connect with Powder. While I think these points are worth discussing, I'd like to offer my own perspective.
Disclaimer: I am not justifying any behavior in the context of a real-life relationship, only within the narrative presented
First off, I don't disagree. Vander doesn't appear to have made a tremendous effort to connect with Powder, and seems to be much closer to Vi and Claggor than her and Mylo, putting a significant amount of responsibility on them (especially Vi, as the oldest) and Vi is definitely far more responsible for her siblings than she should be at her age, with Vander barely supervising them.
However, I think there's a lot of context people like to ignore. First off, this takes place in Zaun. From everything that's implied about Zaun, people don't typically live into old age. If they survive the street violence, enforcer violence, and unsafe working conditions, they're still likely to die or become incapacitated early as a result of Gray poisoning/horrific pollution, as we see with Viktor. Vander worked in the mines, which would make him even worse off.
It's common for average parents, who had their children in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties, to live to see their kids well into middle age, when they will be reliably established as adults and able to care for themselves without guidance. This privilege does not extend to Zaunites. As someone with older parents at birth, I know the importance of older siblings in that situation. Vander needed to prepare Vi and Claggor to be responsible for their siblings and guide them into adulthood, because he knew that he was unlikely to be able to do it himself.
Second, one of the big ethical issues with parentification is that you chose to have kids, and should not subject your older children to the consequences of your choice. Vander... Vander didn't choose to have kids, they're not his biological children, he took them off the street because they had nowhere else to go. I think in real world adoption, the principle still applies, because adoption is also a choice and a lengthy, procedurally dense one at that, but that's not the case here. It really wasn't a choice for Vander, these kids had nowhere else to go. And this is a common theme in Zaun, there are just feral children everywhere, and people just take them in because it's the right thing to do. Everyone is responsible for everyone else. So, his kids needed to learn that same principle, to be responsible for each other, to look out when they are able for those who can't.
And lastly, as for his overall lack of supervision of his ankle-biters, I think... I think that's just a Zaun thing. I'm always so bamboozled when I hear people compare THIS aspect of his parenting negatively to Silco's, when Silco didn't supervise Jinx either. He let her hang out on a giant fan blade like 60 feet in the air and wander off to explode shit whenever she wanted. Benzo also doesn't appear to supervise his very young child, who doesn't even have any older siblings to watch him, and neither Jinx nor Sevika feel the need to keep one single eye on Isha as she runs around the underground doing as she pleases. It seems to just be a part of Zaunite culture, people lose their parents and their parental figures all the time, so they need to be able to look out for themselves.
All this to say there are definitely things worth criticizing about Vander's parenting, but I feel like people are being a little unfair about it.
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beanthebugboi · 3 days ago
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Huh, interesting. I think that might be our individual experiences then.. when I think of spokespeople for the trans community, my first thought is actually a trans man- an author/youtuber/activist named Jamie Raines. Generally I'd say that within the community, representation is pretty balanced. But for people outside the trans community, I can absolutely see how some voices would get more attention than others, depending on the issue at hand.
As for the bathroom conversation, I believe that trying to bar trans women from women's bathrooms creates more problems than it solves. The issue of cis men pretending to be trans women for access to women's spaces is almost nonexistent, while enforcing the birth-sex bathroom rule can lead to forced inspections (creepy and intrusive), people calling the police even on cis women who look more "masculine" (pushes beauty standards), and forcing trans men- including fully transitioned ones who could easily pass as cis men- into the women's bathroom (uncomfortable for everyone and completely defeats the purpose).
I find the 4b movement really interesting because from what I've seen it's very separatism-focused, which I don't think will lead to equality in the long run, but I also recognize that I have the privilege of living in a relatively safe area and I'm glad women who don't have as much safety are creating movements to protect themselves. However, the issue is that trans women- who are also victims of violence, check out this study for some stats- are generally excluded, putting them at higher risk.
Just to be clear: I do not expect you to be attracted to trans women :) Having a sexual preference is totally valid, and it is definitely unfair when people treat that as transphobia. The problem is when people push the idea that lesbians who are attracted to trans women aren't valid- that pushes both the idea that trans women aren't women and the "gold star lesbian" ideology.
I 100% agree with your last point, that's really well said! We should absolutely be able to discuss things from a biological standpoint without using it to contradict/invalidate identity, I think you and I just have different approaches to that :)
Tysm for your reply, it gave me a lot to think about! I put some resources under the cut
This article includes the diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria (being trans is, thankfully, no longer considered a mental illness. This diagnosis just helps people access the resources and care they need)
This study (full text here) focuses on structural differences in the brain. In short, trans people do have distinct "sex-atypical" phenotypes, but there are a few more points in the Discussion section that you might find interesting
For info about mental health, I'd recommend checking out the sources I linked in the last reply of this post, which basically just sums up how trans-related mental health issues are primarily caused by external factors, and gender-affirming care + societal acceptance are proven to help.
I'll let you know if I think of anything else :D I can also try to explain my own experience with being genderfluid, if you'd like to hear some firsthand perspectives /nf
my thing w trans people is i really don’t care what they do with their bodies, gender, pronouns wtv. that’s ur business.
i only really care when males attempt to insert themselves into females’ business. you are not a biological female and will never experience what it is like to like your entire life as one. and the problem is so many trans women (at least from what i’ve seen) are afraid to just… admit that?? you are, biologically, a male, accept it and move along.
and i also dont like how trans women are like the spokespeople for the community?? no offense but it’s literally males dominating over females’ voices
i don’t care what one does with their identity. personally, i’ve been trying to look into the psychology of being transgender to understand it a bit better. but like at the end of the day, your biology still plays a huge part, no??
hopefully others give some insight cuz i’m interested in hearing other takes. this is definitely a conversation i do not mind having.
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k2ulhu · 2 months ago
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hulu was doing live coverage of the election until 2:00am, at which point my power randomly went out and when I reopened the hulu app on my tv the election coverage was replaced with
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#us politics#I don't care if it was intentional or a coincidence or what that shit is funny as hell#I got like 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours#my closest friends are sleeping and don't know yet#we're going to dc a month from now on vacation and none of us expected this#I've been on twitter and it's crushing I see my friends in fear for their lives#I see the worst people in the world cheering for their own downfall because all they care about is someone else having it worse#like they'll douse the vulnerable among us with gasoline and pray for hellfire thinking they'll be safe#but the flames don't discriminate like they do and we're all going to burn#except for the wealthy and powerful of course they'll be polluting the solar system or dead from old age#and the only hell they'll ever know is the one millions upon millions of people eagerly built in their names#in the name of 'greatness'#(man I get really melodramatic when I haven't slept)#and I'm scared too I didn't think this was going to happen and I have no idea what the future holds anymore#and I know I'm privileged to be able to say this when people's lives are about to be destroyed but I think I'm more sad than anything#so disappointed that 70 million people voted for *that*#because it's completely unconscionable to anyone with a soul but somehow he's winning the popular vote for the first time???#what do you mean more people like him now than they did in 2016 and 2020#this genuinely feels like a nightmare are we really so far gone as a country??? as a society?????#that we would not only let a convicted felon (who was served a lawsuit ON ELECTION DAY) on the ballot#but that SEVENTY. MILLION. PEOPLE. would vote for him? to run the country??? to represent us on a global stage?????#*THAT'S* what we as a nation have chosen??? what the fuck is wrong with this country?????#why him indeed#and yet I still have hope#inexplicably
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room-surprise · 5 months ago
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New Ryoko Kui interview dropped!!!
(This is a quick and dirty translation made using machine translation, and which I've lightly edited to add clarity. I'm not fluent in Japanese so I may have gotten things wrong. I'm sure others will do a better job later.
ADDITIONAL CONTEXT: This article is from a Japanese gaming magazine, like the previous interview in Famitsu, so they focus on video games and don't discuss other influences, even though they do get mentioned and are clearly pretty major.)
Kui was able to write "Dungeon Meshi" because she was not good at eating food and participating in human relationships. In this interview, we dig deeper into the influence of games, and how Ryoko Kui focuses on things she likes and dislikes while writing. [Writers of the Gaming Generation]
Dungeon Meshi.
This manga is attractive for its unique theme of "dungeons, defeating monsters in the labyrinth, and cooking them," as well as the unique characters, detailed human relationships, and deep worldview depicted in the labyrinth. It is currently being made into an anime, and adventurers from all over the world are fascinated by the world of "Dungeon Meshi."
So I thought , "I wonder if this work was drawn by someone who loves food and people." The depiction of such delicious-looking food and the construction of delicate human relationships and characters. Surely, it must have been drawn by someone who absolutely loves it.
However, in reality, the author, Kui Ryoko, says that she "is not good at either food or relationships."
So why was he able to continue drawing things she was not good at?
During the roughly 10 years of serialization, Kui has continued to confront "things she dislikes." This interview delves into Kui's unique creative techniques... and at the same time, it also delves into her "favorite things."
That's the "game"!
Those who are familiar with the subject may already know this, but Kui is also a big gamer. And it seems that "Dungeon Meshi" is heavily influenced by RPGs such as "Wizardry."
As a result, this interview turned out to be "I asked Kui a lot about her likes and dislikes." Likes and dislikes. They are the source of all interests and curiosity.
So how do we use this knowledge in our creative endeavors? How does this knowledge manifest itself in Dungeon Meshi?
How were those charming characters and the deep world created? We spoke to the original author, Kui Ryoko, and the editor, Masaru Hiroi, about things they could only talk about after the series was completed.
This is a game with the volume of a great labyrinth. I hope you will explore it all the way to the final floor!
Dungeon food. It's eat or be eaten. There is no superior or inferior, to eat food is simply a privilege of the living. Dungeon food. Ah, dungeon food.
First, I want to ask about how Kui first encountered video games.
--What are some influences from games in Dungeon Meshi? What was your first game, Ms. Kui?
Ryoko Kui (hereinafter referred to as Kui): I played traditional RPGs such as [blank?] and "Final Fantasy."
I think the first game console I ever played was a Famicom, which my parents won in a lottery . So before I knew it, we had a Famicom at home. I think my parents bought me the Super Famicom and PS1 after that...
After that, I took a break from games for a bit around the time of the PS2, but around the time of the PS4, I was finally able to buy games with the money I had earned myself .
--Why were you able to stay away from games around the time of the PS2?
Kui: I was too busy with exams, so I thought, "Well, I shouldn't be playing games," and left. When I started living alone after that, I couldn't play games because I didn't have a TV. My computer was also a Mac. [Macs aren't compatible with many games.]
--What was the trigger that made you think, "I want to play games" again?
Kui: I think the biggest thing was starting the serialization of "Dungeon Meshi."
Fantasy stories all have different settings, but at the same time, there are also things they share in common. For example, if you want to create a fantasy work, but you only know "Dragon Quest," it will end up resembling "Dragon Quest." It's scary to copy the setting of only one work.
So I just wanted to play a ton of different fantasy games and get an idea of ​​what the most common general understanding of fantasy is.
--Did you start playing it while you were still developing the concept for Dungeon Meal?
Kui: That's right. If I'm going to talk about "eating food," I have to play a game that has a system for eating food .
So I was interested in "Dungeon Master." However, at the time there was no easy way to play "Dungeon Master" on a real machine, so I played "Legend of Grimrock", which can also be played on a Mac.
["Dungeon Master," is a computer RPG released in 1987. Time passes each time you take an action in the dungeon, such as moving, fighting, or resting, so its biggest feature is that the game progresses in real time according to the player's actions. "Legend of Grimrock," is an action RPG released in 2012. It has a game design similar to "Dungeon Master."]
Until then, I had felt that overseas games and games played on PC were too difficult, but I felt like I had overcome one obstacle there. I thought, "Oh, this is pretty easy," and started playing a lot of different games.
-- Those two games are quite heavy even among RPGs, I think, so did you actually have that much difficulty with them?
Kui: No...I would say that my impression is more that best-selling games are easy to play (laughs).
I'm not that good at games myself, so I usually play games that allow you to adjust the difficulty on a super easy setting. So, games that allow you to lower the difficulty are always a lifesaver.
-- I've heard that apart from RPGs , you also like games such as "13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim" and "Paranomasite FILE23: The Seven Mysteries of Honjo ." Do you have a favorite genre, Mr. Kui?
Kui: I guess I'm just not very good at games that require you to use your brain through trial and error.
But in RPGs, if you just level up and keep tapping, you can win and progress in the game. Also, in novel-type games, if you read the text, you can progress. By this process of elimination, I quite like RPGs and text-based games .
Personally, I like games like Disco Elysium the most, which are text-heavy, top-down, and have maps to explore.
...Even I think that's a pretty negative reason (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Hiroi Masaru (hereinafter referred to as Hiroi): But, Ms. Kui, you have really played quite a lot of games, haven't you?
Kui: No, the reason I'm able to play so much is because I play in a pretty callous way ...
I often buy a game, play it, and then just don't play it. So there aren't that many games I complete... I only complete a few a year. I play around 40 games, and if I complete 5 or 6, that's good.
When I asked if I could draw at Comitia, I got scolded.
-- Have you had any exposure to fantasy outside of digital RPGs?
Kui: I think it's not just games, but also the fact that I've always loved foreign fantasy novels . I was given books like "The Neverending Story," "The Lord of the Rings," and "The Chronicles of Narnia."
-- Dungeon Meshi gives off an atmosphere of Western fantasy like gamebooks or tabletop RPGs, rather than the typical Japanese fantasy games like Dragon Quest.
Hiroi: I think I went to Kui's house before the series started. At that time, we were discussing the name of a sci-fi manga called "Drawing Inside the Brain," which I had rejected many times.
Ms. Kui said she wanted to serialize this sci-fi manga... and when he was on the fourth draft, he said, "No, this isn't going to work," and when I looked at the scribbled notes next to her desk, she had already drawn the original version of "Dungeon Meshi" ! (laughs)
Kui: ……………No, I don't remember much (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: But I had wanted to draw a manga about exploring a dark dungeon, like Wizardry .
Since I was in elementary school, the manga I drew in pencil in my notebooks were all fantasy stories about swords and magic, so I had always wanted to draw a proper fantasy manga. However, there weren't as many fantasy manga in bookstores at the time as there are now, so I wondered, "Maybe fantasy doesn't sell."
Hiroi: At the time, there were a lot of people in their teens and twenties posting fantasy illustrations on online communities for artists, such as pixiv, and Kui was one of them.
I thought, there are so many people who want to write fantasy, so if she writes a fantasy aimed at this generation, it might sell.
And when I saw Kui's notes, I thought to myself, "Let's make a straight-forward fantasy manga, without making it weirdly twisted."
Kui: I originally thought of making this "dungeon exploration manga" as just a hobby... When I asked Hiroi if I could draw it at Comitia first, he got angry.
[Comitia is a comics convention in Japan for original self-published comics.]
Everyone: (laughs).
Hiroi: I said, "If you're going to draw at Comitia, then make sure you draw it as a proper serialization!" (laughs)
However, at that time, Kui had already published two collections of short stories, and they were being reprinted. In other words, she had a certain number of fans even before the serialization began.
So I decided, if Kui creates a pure fantasy for those fans, we can't fail badly. If it doesn't work, we'll just learn that fantasy is difficult to sell after all.
--By the way, were there any discussions between you and Ms. Kui about the fact that fantasy doesn't sell?
Kui: I remember vaguely talking about how fantasy manga doesn't sell well and how difficult it seems. I don't know much about light novels, so that might have been there for a while.
However, since a lot of fantasy manga were coming out around the same time, it was probably a "transitional period ." Maybe it was just when people started to feel more and more like they wanted to draw and read fantasy.
Not everyone is that interested in the things I like
-- I feel that "Dungeon Meshi" is a title that has breathed new life into the fantasy genre. How did you go about creating the setting and world when dealing with fantasy?
Kui: I try to think, "Not everyone is that interested in the things I like."
I like to think about pointless settings endlessly, but there are times when I think , "When this setting is actually made into a manga, people probably won't be interested in this story." So I try to include things that will make people interested, and cut out things that will distract people as much as possible.
For example, in "Dungeon Meshi" I initially wanted everyone to speak various languages. On top of that, I wanted to make the characters "only able to communicate with each other in one language"... but Mr. Hiroi said "Don't do that" (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: Even when I'm drawing it myself, I think, "It takes more than six panels to explain this setting...", and if I explain the setting more than necessary, it slows down the pace of the story.
Moreover, since "Dungeon Meshi" was a monthly serialization, unlike a weekly series, there wasn't much time for extraneous stories. Specifically, I had to draw one episode of about 30 pages per month.
In that case, there was no time to add in settings like "Actually, he was thinking about this behind the scenes" or "Actually, he can speak two languages." So, rather than there being any clear choices, there were quite a few times when "there was no time to do things normally." If it had been a weekly serialization, I might have included more.
--Does the scene where Chilchuck yells insults in his own language feel rather "forced"?
Kui: That's right (laughs).I thought, this only takes one frame...it's my chance [to include information about language]!
--So you haven't thought through all of these "fictional languages" yet?
Kui: If Dungeon Meshi were to be my life's work and I were to spend my whole life creating this world, I think it would be more fun to think about it...but initially, I thought that Dungeon Meshi would end in a few years.
Hiroi: Initially, I said, "It'd be nice if it continued for about five volumes" (laughs).
However, Kui's first draft really had a lot of material... so the editors cut out a lot of it. I understand that it's the parts the readers want to read, but I cut out the parts that deviate from the main story. So it's a battle between the "author who doesn't want to be cut" and the "editor who wants to cut."
--By the way, what kind of discussion took place between the "parts you want to cut" and the "parts you don't want to cut"?
Kui: There were a lot of them every time, but I can't remember them specifically now...it was just small, unimportant details that got cut.
In the scene where the hams made by the Red Dragon go back into the pool of blood, I remember saying, "You don't need these," and they were about to cut them off, but I remember desperately stopping them by saying, "We'll need them later!" I'm glad they weren't cut off.
But once I think of the setting, I want to include things, and then they get cut out, so at first I didn't want to expand the world too much.
I also wanted to complete the story within the dungeon. I didn't want to reveal the name of the country, and I didn't want to give the characters surnames. But in the second half, Hiroi-san told me, "The world is too small, so you should make it bigger," and I was like, "Are you sure?"
--Mr. Hiroi, why did you say that?
Hiroi: As the story progressed, it became clear that "Dungeon Meshi" was no longer just about saving a sister in a dungeon. So I decided that it would be unconvincing if the story had no involvement with the outside world, since what was happening in the dungeon was something that would affect the fate of the whole world.
For example, in real life companies, the more important a decision you make, the higher your superior's rank becomes, right? When I thought about it that way, I felt something was off about the idea of ​​Laios and his friends deciding the fate of the world on their own. "How can they make that decision without anyone knowing about it?"
The fact that the Canary Team was there meant that there must have been a system of reporting, contacting, and consulting here, because that's how "society" and "organizations" work.
In short, I think we were thinking about the situation and asking, "If an organization were to get involved in saving the world, how persuasive could they make it given the society that exists in the story?"
Kui: Well, the plot hasn't changed at all.
From the beginning, I had intended to write a story about saving the world, but I also thought it was possible for the world to be saved by only a select few people in the dungeon who knew the circumstances. Changing it was what Hiroi-san thought would make it more persuasive.
When I was drawing the first half, Hiroi told me, "You don't have to decide anything yet." I was in a hurry to move the story forward and explain the world and story setting, but he told me, "It's better to limit it to introducing the four main characters until about the fourth volume." But in the second half, he said, "Introduce more people and expand the world."
Everyone: (laughs).
Hiroi: Kui-san was like , "That's not what you said originally!" (laughs) But both had meaning...
Kui: I was the one saying, "If we expand the world there, the story will never end, right...?"
After drawing it through to the end, I realized that the balance between holding back and expanding didn't work the way I had expected. I think this is one of the reasons why the serialization of "Dungeon Meshi" took so long.
-- But there are a lot of characters in "Dungeon Meshi," and the relationships between them are complicated. I heard that you also created the relationship diagram for "Taikaishu" [※3] ...
Kui: No, I haven't made one [I didn't do that?]!
[Taikaishu is a full-color web comic by Funako Tsukasa that began serialization on a website in 2005 and is still ongoing. Its unique worldview has earned it a loyal fanbase, especially on the Internet.]
-- Eh? Is that not the case?
Kui: To be precise, I just created an account on the fan wiki.
When I started reading "Taikaishu," I struggled with the complex setting and the large number of characters...and I thought "it would be easier to read if there was an explanation or a list of characters."
So I searched for a bulletin board where readers were sharing their thoughts and asked if there was a summary, but they said there wasn't. So I thought, "Maybe if there was a place where someone with more knowledge could summarize it," and I just made a wiki account.
So I didn't actually edit it. It seems like I've been given credit for someone else's work, and I'm sorry about that...
Dungeon Meshi was created from a sense of guilt about food?
-- "Dungeon Meshi" started off with the catchy theme of "cooking monsters," but little by little the darker aspects and deeper world were revealed. Was the structure of "little by little revealing the darker side" something you had in mind from the beginning?
Kui: I thought I needed a theme to serialize it so I thought I'd try "food education." There were a lot of gourmet manga at the time, but I felt like there weren't many that focused on food education.
-- Considering that the theme is "food education," it makes sense that the nutritional value of the dishes in the story is clearly written down.
Kui: With the theme of "food education," I also thought up a rough outline of the story. Rescue the kidnapped princess, defeat the evil wizard, defeat the final boss, and become king... the framework is pretty simple.
But when I actually tried to proceed with the plan, I realized, "No, this story can't be done so lightly..." At first, I thought I could draw it in a more light-hearted manner.
Hiroi: At first, you were trying to finish the fight against the Red Dragon in one episode, right? I was like, "is that possible?" (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: When I tried to actually tell it in one episode, it ended up feeling like a very brief summary... In order to tell the story I wanted to tell, I had to tell it more thoroughly than I originally thought.
-- Did you have any special thoughts about the theme of "food"?
Kui: No... well... if I had to choose, I'd say I have a strong grudge against food.
Since I was a child, I was a very picky eater, and mealtimes were a pain for me. I hated eating in front of other people, and there was a time when I hated seeing other people eating, so I would look for toilets that were rarely used and eat my meals in the toilet.
When I was doing it, the word "toilet meal" didn't exist, so when the term actually appeared in society I was so happy, thinking "everyone was doing it!"
[Toilet Meals are a social phenomenon in Japan.]
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: I was thinking, "This is so terrible, right...?" but it was a relief to realize that other people were doing the same thing.
--So what made you choose the theme of "food education"?
Kui: My parents, who were struggling with my picky eating, taught me many things, including the "triple eating" method, but it was no use and I continued to be a picky eater into adulthood. My parents had instilled knowledge about food education in me, but I was not able to put it into practice.
[Kui might be talking about Triangular Eating but I'm not sure.]
So the only thing that remains is that I feel an enormous amount of guilt when it comes to food and eating...
Hiroi: If you think about it objectively, the series starts off on a very negative note.
Kui: But now I've gotten over the habit of eating with other people... or rather, I've come to like it. My editor takes me to lots of delicious places.
--When I was a student, I was trying to leave my udon bowl at school, but my teacher found out and made me eat the packet of udon by myself. There was no soup, and it was really hard to eat the udon by itself.
Kui: It must be tough. I tried to hide it, but my teacher found out and I got really angry.
Hiroi: I've tried to hide it in a drawer before. Then, something dried up came out of the drawer... (laughs bitterly).
How can I draw things I hate?
-- Or rather, is it the fact that you're not good at it that gives you a higher level of insight into the food?
Kui: I think it's because you're interested in it that you either like it or dislike it. Inevitably, you spend a lot of time thinking about it.
Since "Dungeon Meshi" depicts a lot of food, one might think "Do I like eating?", but in fact there are many times when I draw it because I dislike something .
--Aside from food, do you also draw things that you dislike?
Kui: Maybe. For example, human relationships, modern times, fashion...?
-- Perhaps the relationships between the characters in "Dungeon Food" are portrayed so delicately because the author is not good at dealing with human relationships?
Kui: I've always been very curious about things like, "(This person is usually so cold, but has such a charming smile in front of other people)" ...
I feel the same way, but I think people are different in the way they show their true colors. I think it's strange that it stands out to me...
-- I have a simple question. When you draw something you hate, how do you feel? No matter how much you hate something, do you find it fun to draw it?
Kui: The events in the manga don't directly involve me, so I don't dislike the things I'm drawing as much. Also, when I draw while looking for the good parts, it can lead to new discoveries.
Also, I think it's scary to draw only what I like.
In my work, the important thing is "what to capture with the camera," and there's no need to go out of your way to capture filthy things, but at the same time, I think the world will look bigger if you keep in mind that "there are a lot of inconvenient, dirty, and unpleasant things outside the camera." That's the feeling I have when I paint/create manga.
When playing a game, if I have to choose between a game where I only feel like I'm in the world inside the game screen, and a game where I feel like there are lots of people living on the other side of the screen, and that the people in that world could travel anywhere they wanted, I think the latter is more fun to play.
I'm always thinking about how to express that "sense of the vastness of the world" ...and I personally like games that have "a world" to them.
-- Do you ever incorporate elements from the game into your manga?
Kui: On the contrary, I think that is a part that cannot be adopted .
The best thing about games is that each person has a different experience. Games that have lots of endings are also a result screen for what you've done up until that point. When I see something like that, I think, "That's so cool."
Personally, I think that's the game's greatest appeal, and something that could never be replicated in a manga that doesn't have players.
If you're so busy, when do you play games?
-- I'm personally curious, how do you find the time to play games? Even though you're busy with your work as a manga artist, you play quite a lot of games.
Kui: I often use the Steam Deck before going to bed or during breaks between writing manuscripts. In fact, I almost only use the Steam Deck now. I keep it by my pillow, so I can take it and play before going to sleep, or during breaks...
--Is Steam Deck really that convenient?
Kui: I recommend it. The screen is small, but it can run Cyberpunk 2077 .
Also, personally, I've gotten tired of having to turn on my PC to start up a game...with Steam Deck, I can just turn it on and it starts up instantly, even when I'm lying down. How do you writers usually play games? There are times when you have to play games for work, aren't there?
--When it comes to work, I calculate backwards how long I'll be playing before I start playing...If it's a game that can be completed in about 60 hours, I usually estimate that I'll play for 3 hours a day and complete it for 20 days in a row.
Hiroi: It's a lot of work!
Kui: That's amazing... You really are a gamer.
I've always thought that I have a talent for playing games ... but I'm not really good at that. If I'm given a game that's a little difficult, I get tired of it right away, and I'm not very good at trial and error. The range of things I can enjoy is very narrow.
I wonder if game developers around the world are also struggling with the question of "Should I make my games accessible to a wide range of people, even those who aren't particularly gamers?" or "Should I make games that are challenging and can be played deeply?" The same problem exists with manga, too.
When there's a game that I can't play well, I feel happy because it means the creator decided that there's no need to pander to people who can't keep up.
-- By the way, when you play games, do you do it as a normal "hobby"? Or do you play more often to find material for your manga?
Kui: Of course, a big part of it is that I play games as a hobby, but it is alleviated by the fact that playing games might be useful for my work (laughs).
Even if I'm not that interested in a game, if I think "it might be useful for work," I'll find the courage to buy it, and no matter how expensive a gaming PC is, I can still buy it if I think of it as a work tool. So the hurdles for many things related to games are lowered for the reason that it's "for work."
--So, when you read manga, do you feel like you're reading it for work?
Kui: In my case, manga has become my job, so when I read it I can't help but think of work.
However, I still enjoy gaming as a hobby . That's why I don't want to lose this hobby... and I don't think I'll be able to enjoy it as much if I get involved in games as a job, so I don't take on any games-related jobs.
Does the depth of the world come from the fact that it is "not decided"?
-- I heard in advance that "Dungeon Meshi" was written with a clear awareness of "what should be explained" and "what shouldn't be explained," so could you tell me more about that?
Kui: Having read a variety of fantasy novels and games, I thought that the "moment of discouragement" was the "repeated use of foreign words." When you write something like "XX of XX of XX," if there are three or more katakana characters, there is a high chance that it will be skipped over by Japanese readers.
That's why I try to refer to town names as "the neighboring town" whenever possible, and refer to characters who appear in flashbacks as "uncle" rather than by their full names, so that readers can understand without having needing exposition.
The magic used during battles in "Dungeon Meshi" is depicted in such a way that you can "understand what kind of magic it is just by looking at the picture."
-- What other aspects of Dungeon Meshi are there that you deliberately left out of its concrete settings?
Kui: Numbers and language are the settings I avoided touching. For example, just by deciding the month of birth, it is first determined that there is a moon in this world. From there, it is also determined that there is gravity.
What's more, just the concept of a "birthday" means that there is a division into a "year" and that the world is determined to have a 365-day cycle. It quickly becomes complicated.
But on the other hand, if I were to set the details and make it something like "This country's currency is 1 gold, which is worth 5 yen," it would be a burden on the reader. When reading the work, the reader would be forced to convert it into "1 gold = 5 yen" in their minds every time. That's why I try to write it with "readability as a priority" as much as possible.
However, if you're creating a "fantasy" in the truest sense of the word, it would be better to create something that corresponds to that world's calendar or metric system in order to really immerse yourself in that world, so it's difficult to get the balance right...
-- I think that style of "deliberately not giving explanations" is quite amazing.
Hiroi: I think that 's definitely partly because "Dungeon Meshi" is a silly title.
The "mindset" of the reader is a little different...I think that from the very beginning, the reader is made to recognize that "this work isn't going to say anything too difficult."
Kui: Also, we had to give a bit of thought to coming up with the character names.
For example, the main characters in Wizardry are given names that correspond to their professions, such as "Warrior" or "Wizard." The "Senshi" in Dungeon Meshi was taken from that ... I named him after thinking, "I want that person to play an active role."
That's why I wanted the overseas version of Senshi's name to be "Fighter", but I was worried that overseas readers would be like, "What does that mean...!?" so I kept it in my head.
--The character names in "Dungeon Meshi" tend to be around 3 or 4 letters long and fit nicely.
Kui: If the name gets too long, it won't fit in the speech bubble...It's generally said that a line in a speech bubble should be about 7 to 8 characters long to be easy to read.
So "Chillchuck" is really long... I actually thought that the abbreviation "Chill" could be used more, so I named it that way, but it didn't work out so well, so in the end I just kept calling it "Chillchuck". Even I was thinking "that's long" while drawing it (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: Anyway, there are quite a few manga-like circumstances where "maybe four characters would be enough."
--By the way, are there any rules for naming the characters in "Dungeon Meshi"?
Kui: It's not detailed, but there are "settings within the story" and "meta-settings that are just for my own enjoyment."
For example, [if Dungeon Meshi was a game] the Shuro party has names that would be given by a certain type of player. When playing a games, some people give their characters themed names that follow self-imposed rules. In that sense, meta-wise, the Shuro party is played by a player who names their characters with a plant-based restriction.
Also, since the player likes girls, the party members are all girls, and so on... (laughs).
Hiroi: Oh, I didn't know that!
Kuon: ...While it's fun for myself, I also create characters by asking questions like, "Why is the party mainly made up of women?" or "Why do they all have similar names?"
However, even if I revealed these settings in the story, it wouldn't have made the story any more interesting, so they are merely "settings that only exist in my own mind."
-- What are some specific examples of "settings that you deliberately didn't reveal"?
Hiroi: I still remember when I said, "I want you to depict the elven kingdom in more detail," Kui replied, "That's going too far."
The dwarven country was depicted quite a bit, so I personally thought it could have been shown a little more...
Kui: I felt that if I depicted that, it would limit the reader's imagination.
There are definitely "lines that suggest something might happen," and when it comes to parts that are better left to the reader's imagination, I often choose not to draw them.
Also, even when we present settings that readers think they can just skim through, they often try hard to remember them...
It all started with the manga "Eating soba through your nose."
--Let's go back to the topic a little. How did Ms. Kui and Mr. Hiroi meet?
Hiroi: I think we scouted her.
I saw a short story that Kui had posted on Pixiv and sent him an email asking if I would like to draw a manga. I remember that he had a really funny four-frame manga called "Eating soba noodles through your nose ." It was about a character eating soba noodles through his nose and crying out in pain... I think I was drawn to his drawing ability, which made me feel like "Wow, that looks painful" when I saw it (laughs).
And from that point on, we have come to this point.
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[This may not be the exact comic that Hiroi is talking about, but it's a comic Kui posted on her blog about someone eating soba through their nose.]
Kui: Oh, is that so? Isn't it something like "Shugaku Tenshi" [※4] ?
Hiroi: No, that's not true! The manga about eating soba noodles through the nose was made before "Shingaku Tenshi". By the way, that manga was planned to be published in "Rakugakihon" , but when I asked Kui-san "Can I publish this?", she was very against it...
Kui: No, that's fine, but... I didn't think other people would find it that interesting.
Everyone: (laughs).
Hiroi: But that was more than 10 years ago...
--By the way, was Mr. Hiroi the first publisher to contact you?
Kui: Before that, an editor at East Press had contacted me. I was originally publishing fantasy manga that I had drawn as a hobby on my personal website. I compiled them into a self-published original comic and exhibited it at Comitia, and they asked me, "Would you like to publish this long manga as a book?"
However, after the editor asked around to various people, it seems he was told that "this will be hard to sell"... so the plan was dropped. Instead, it was decided to release a "short story collection" of short manga that had been published at the same time . This is "The Dragon's School is on the Mountain: A Collection of Works by Ryoko Kui" published by East Press.
I was contacted by a few other people as well, but the two people I still keep in contact with are Mr. Hiroi and the editor at East Press.
-- When you went from drawing short stories and web comics to starting a commercial serialization, did you study anything like "how to draw a serialized work"?
Kui: I learned almost everything about how to draw manga from Mr. Hiroi and the editors and writers at Harta .
I had absolutely no understanding of whether panel layout was good or bad, so up until the middle of the serialization, I would rearrange the storyboards one panel at a time, and I would get lectured like "Don't put a panel like this here."
I was also impressed when I was shown original manuscripts by other artists. They look beautiful in print, but the real thing is even more impressive. This is what it means to be good at drawing manga.
It didn't finish as I expected
-- Speaking of "serialization," you mentioned earlier that you initially intended to end it at about volume 5. Did "Dungeon Meshi" continue longer than you had anticipated, Ms. Kui?
Kui: First of all, I didn't really understand what a "serialized" comic meant, so I didn't even know how much of a story I could get done in how many pages. So, I thought I could wrap up the story nicely in about five years, in five volumes.
But I never quite got around to finishing it. It was so hard... (laughs).
Hiroi: To be honest, when I first heard "Volume 5,"I thought to myself, "(Are you kidding me...?)" I didn't say it out loud though (laughs).
--Honestly, even as a reader, around the time of the fight with the Red Dragon in volumes 4 and 5 I was starting to feel like, "Huh? It seems like it's coming to an end soon..."
Kui: From the beginning, my goal was to "defeat the Red Dragon at the halfway point." However, I was supposed to fight the Red Dragon in Volume 4, even though it was supposed to be 5 volumes. So I thought, "Huh? It's not over yet," and I gradually lost interest.
By the time I got to around volume 10, I felt like no matter how much I drew, it would never end. I didn't want to drag it out, but no matter how much I drew, it just never seemed to finish.
Hiroi: Even from an editor's perspective, it seemed like Kui was getting very anxious from around volume 10 onwards.
-- Having finished the long-running serialization of "Dungeon Meshi," did you experience any changes in your mindset?
Kui: I think it was great to have the experience of learning that it would take 10 years to draw a story of this scale. And when I think about my lifespan and how many more works I can draw... it makes me dizzy.
Hiroi: I feel like I'm constantly fainting...
-- Ms. Kui, are there still any works you want to draw in your mind?
Kui: Not that much. But I love drawing manga, so I want to draw a lot. I don't know if I'll have the stamina to continue for another 10 volumes, but I want to continue working as a manga artist somehow.
But maybe... I don't think it will sell that well next time...
Hiroi: Stop! Don't say that!
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: In that respect, "Dungeon Meshi" sold well, so I was able to draw what I had imagined to the end. Next time, I think it would be better to consider the opposite scenario of "if it doesn't sell" and make it shorter.
That's the next new challenge.
-- In addition to the expectations for your next work, do you feel any pressure?
Kui: In my case, the first collection of short stories I published was fairly well received. For a manga I drew for the first time, that's about it.
That was a relief, but at the same time, I felt that "Ideally, the reputation of my next work will also steadily increase, but there will definitely be ups and downs." If the reputation of the next work is bad, will I be able to continue drawing without getting discouraged? I realized that the "battle with myself" had just begun , and I was terrified when I read the first volume.
What game has cute illustrations, in your opinion?
Kui: This is a completely different topic, but you 've played SaGa Frontier 2 , haven't you? Aren't the pixel art in SaGa Frontier 2 really cute?
--The pixel art in SaGa Frontier 2 is...the best!
Kui: The illustrations in "SaGa Frontier 2" have such exquisite balance... if you try to express that in a picture, you can't reproduce that cuteness. It's like "exquisite head-to-body ratio."
-- In your opinion, Ms. Kui, are there any games that have cute illustrations?
Kui: The first one that comes to mind is definitely SaGa Frontier 2. Also, I still remember how cute the character designs were in Final Fantasy Tactics.
But back in the day, I used to trace characters from FF7 . I thought, "There are so many cool designs in the world..." (laughs).
Hiroi: Nomura (Tetsuya)'s drawings are amazing, aren't they?
Kui: I traced Cloud and Aerith on tracing paper and quietly said to myself, "So cool..." and got really excited. I noticed something while I was working on the "Dungeon Meshi" anime...basically, games and anime are made by many people, aren't they? So I always thought, "Many people must be giving various opinions to make them."
But when I got involved, I realized that one person's power is quite large. This was quite surprising. I thought that there were multiple people who wrote the script and storyboards, and that each person had their own responsibility, but... the power of one person is quite large.
──No matter how much the work is divided up, it's important to have a director or supervisor who brings it all together.
Kui: Yes, in the end, it depends on the power of the person who takes the lead ...
However, at the same time, I think that the division of labor between scriptwriting and storyboarding is something that would never be possible with manga. In the end, you have to create everything in one person's mind, so "bias" inevitably arises. So personally, I don't like the idea of ​​it becoming a "world created in one person's mind."
Hiroi: However, not only in manga but also in novels, the individual author's personality is strongly expressed. I wouldn't go so far as to say "ideology"... but the person's way of thinking is strongly expressed.
Kui: Speaking of which, people who create games alone, such as indie games, are amazing.
It's often said that manga artists "come up with everything, from the art to the story, all by themselves," but I don't think they can compete with independent game creators who create the music, programming, and art all by themselves.
Moreover, even more than manga, no one can give their opinion until the game is completed. If you think about it that way, making a game by yourself is really a "one-man battle." At the same time, what I like about games is that there are quite a few "works that are not made with much consideration for cost" ... I enjoy it a little bit.
-- Do you ever think, "I want to make a game?"
Kui: I once bought RPG Maker , but it ended up being a complete failure... (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Love for "classic RPGs" was a major influence on "Dungeon Meshi"
-- I'd like to ask you, Ms. Kui, since you play a lot of titles on Steam and other platforms, have you ever had any problems playing a game?
Kui: Simply put, a "game that doesn't work" is a problem (laughs).
This sometimes happens with games made by individuals on Steam... they don't have any reviews, so there's no way to deal with it other than contacting them directly. There have been a few times when I've been stuck and wondered, "What should I do?"
Other times, I'll buy a title that just happens to pop up at the top of Steam's rankings. Sometimes I'll play it thinking, "The graphics are kind of cute, so I'll give it a try," only to find that it's incomplete beyond the framework.
--So now people are playing titles that aren't that major.
Kui: Also, when I played Planescape: Torment, which is said to have influenced Disco Elysium.
While playing, I came across a character who was suffering from a terrible curse that made his whole body smell and become sticky. A quest was triggered to ask the NPC who had cast the curse to lift it, but when I asked them to lift the curse, I ended up being cursed with a curse that made me have constant hiccups ...
So when I was walking around the town, the "hiccup" dialogue started popping up all the time. What's more, every time it happened, I would freeze up for about 0.1 seconds. All the dialogue was filled with "hiccups." Anyway, it was a troubling curse.
I had no idea how to deal with this either, so I decided to just kill the NPC who had put the curse on me. The NPC also challenged me by saying, "Maybe if you kill me, the curse will be lifted?", so I tried killing him, but... it didn't lift the curse at all (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: I thought maybe the quest would progress in other places, so I walked around here and there, but the curse was not lifted after all. I was really curious, so I looked back at overseas information exchange thread online, and I found someone had written a lecture that said "You know what happens if you kill an important NPC without thinking about it, right?"
So I realized that this curse can never be lifted again. Even if I wanted to rewind, it was an auto-save, so I had to go back almost to the beginning... I was really... in trouble!
-- But "Planescape: Torment" hits a pretty impressive spot. Was it something that just happened to catch your eye while you were browsing Steam?
Kui: I originally liked games in the same genre as Baldur's Gate, so I think that's how I got into Planescape.
Also, I saw information that a huge amount of text in Planescape was translated by one person... I'm not very good at English, and games like Planescape have a lot of text to begin with, so I'm at a loss if it's not translated into Japanese .
However, when extraordinary people like those who make Planescape use their precious time from their lives to accomplish great things, I feel very grateful.
-- So, Ms. Kui, do you prefer games that are closer to the classics?
Kui: That's right. The first game I played was The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, and it was so much fun that I searched for "games similar to Skyrim" and played a lot of the games that came up.
All of them were completely different games from Skyrim, but they were fun. However, I don't like "old games". I think that newer games are generally more polished and well-made.
-- Wizardry, which influenced Dungeon Meshi, is also a classic work.
Kui: When I was a child, I saw my father playing Wizardry V : The Heart of the Maelstrom. As time passed, I remembered that there was a game called Wizardry. The game I played at that time was Wizardry VI: Forbidden Pencil.
I also played Wizardry V , but it was hard to see the map unless I chanted a spell. I was directionally challenged, so even though I had a guidebook at hand, I couldn't progress.
--By the way, were you more interested in making a manga out of "Wizardry" than the tabletop RPG "D&D" ?
Kui: When I was researching fantasy, "D&D" was often mentioned... but I had never even heard of "TRPG" before. First of all, you can't play it without friends, and I was shocked to find out that lots of people have friends they can play with like this...!?
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: So when I looked up TRPGs on Wikipedia, I couldn't imagine that people actually played this kind of game. I was more confused and thought, "How can people really role-play in front of other people?"
After that, I watched replay videos on YouTube and it was only then that I understood how games like D&D worked.
Games, manga, novels. What is the purpose of all creative works?
-- What was the last game you played?
Kui: Recently I played a school management game called "Let's School." It's made by a Chinese company that also made "My Time at Sandrock."
Hiroi: You really like that kind of game, don't you? (laughs) Oh? Haven't you played "FF7 Rebirth" ?
Kui: I'm thinking about playing the remake of FF7 once it's completed.
Hiroi: No, no, if we don't do it now, we'll never finish it! It'll be a long time before we do it!
--Honestly, I also thought it would take about 10 years for FF7 Rebirth to be released.
Hiroi: I thought it would take about that long too... I really wanted it to be completed while I could still see. So, please do it!
Kui: Once it's finished...I want to play it all at once (laughs).
--Do you and Ms. Kui often talk about games?
Hiroi: Ms. Kui sometimes says, "I want to talk about this game, so I want you to play it." I played "Red Dead Redemption" because of that. Also, a long time ago, Ms. Kui recommended "13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim."
Kui: Whenever there's a game I want to discuss with someone, I always recommend it to Hiroi.
But maybe I haven't been playing games as much lately. Until now, I've been playing games because I thought of it as "for work," but now that the serialization of Dungeon Meshi has ended, I've been playing less games.
Moreover, I'm not the type of person who gets that into one game...I don't generally play through a game in repeated playthroughs, and I'm usually satisfied once I've finished the story.
Hiroi: Then we have to start [a new ] serialization soon.
Everyone: (laughs).
-- I'd like to ask you personally, do you have any "recommended indie games"?
Kui: I highly recommend "Papers, Please" and "Return of the Obra Dinn."
First of all, "Papers, Please" is a simple "spot the difference" game, so I didn't have high expectations at first. But when I played it, I felt like there was a proper "world" to it . Also, I was curious to see how the story continued.
And "Return of the Obra Dinn" had a great atmosphere. There were hints to solving the puzzles if you looked closely, but there was also a good balance of being able to force your way through, and the music and production were cool.
Hiroi: Come to think of it, you read quite a bit of the novel after the serialization ended, didn't you?
Kui: Ah, you mean "1984" by George Orwell? That was good...
I've always thought that creativity isn't necessary for life... It's entertainment, so it's not essential to life. But after reading "1984," I thought, "I guess creativity is necessary after all."
Humans need stories to experience things that should never come true, to prepare for bad things, and to prepare for understanding other people... You might think, "You should have already learned that when you were younger," but I was deeply moved by this realization.
Anyway, I feel that it would be great if people could learn things they didn't know before through this work.
Hiroi: ...Overall, it just felt like we had a fun time talking about games (laughs).
Kui: We just used the interview as an excuse to talk about the game (laughs).
-- No no, thank you very much for sharing your valuable story! (End)
I think I can understand a little bit about being interested in things you hate.
It's easy to analyze "why do you like something?" when you like it, but it's surprisingly difficult to analyze "why do you dislike something?" When you understand the reason, it seems that "why do you dislike it" is often more meaningful.
Perhaps creative works exist in part to help us understand the things we dislike.
I was able to hear a lot of deep "creation stories" that made me think about such things. Also, Ms. Kui is a huge gamer. Mr. Hiroi also likes games quite a bit. Since serious talk and game discussions alternated, the content may have been emotionally confusing. But I feel like "Dungeon Meshi" has a similar atmosphere.
If you haven't read "Dungeon Meshi," please take this opportunity to read it. It depicts a fun adventure. On top of that, it may help you prepare for difficult things that might happen in your life someday. Of course, it's also extremely interesting as a manga. I think it's definitely one of the best "entertainment" of our time.
Why does the body want to live? What does the mind want?
This is because we have a "desire" to pursue what we like and dislike. In fact, "things we dislike" are just as important as "things we like." By understanding our own "likes and dislikes" through creative works and entertainment, humans can prepare for things that happen in their future lives. Food and creative works are equally important for human growth.
...That said, I'm not sure if it has a nice punchline, or maybe not.
To eat. To experience creative works. These are truly the privileges of life. In order to live, we must continue to eat.
Now it's time to eat. What shall we eat today?
1K notes · View notes
inuyashaluver · 4 months ago
Note
Firstly wanted to say thank you for your fics, they NEVER disappoint 🫶
And I wanted to request something with Grace Clinton, maybe a soft/hard launch with a non-footballer gf?
girlfriend - grace clinton
grace clinton x reader
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description: in which your girlfriend is tired of keeping the love of her life a secret, thus, you get a special invitation to her debut with her national team
warnings: nothing really!! not proofread because its me
a/n: STOPPP, thank you so much for the love and support you are so incredibly sweet, please enjoyyyyy, i'm rusty like don't mind me AHHAHAH, clearing out my drafts and requests as we speak!!
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you and your girlfriend, grace, long story short are soulmates. you have known grace pretty much your entire life and have never felt such a huge amount of love for anyone as much as you did with her. 
grace has always been in love with you, she doesn’t remember a time where she hasn’t been. and that just sums up your entire relationship, completely and utterly in love.
you and grace have known each other ever since you were 7. you were both placed in the same class at school, grace known for her class clown personality while you just smiled at her antics while working on your studies.
you two gravitated towards each other quicker than ever expected, being the best of friends until you were both 17 and grace finally asked you to be her girlfriend. an absolute surprise to not only the both of you, but everyone else around you. 
while grace was playing football, you were her biggest cheerleader on the side, her ‘lucky charm’ as she loved to call you. you did absolutely everything together, the best partner for life.
in your adult lives, you moved in together, grace playing football while you were in veterinarian school. it worked so well, it was so effortless, so easy and it was absolutely the best.
you had the privilege of being able to travel around the uk as grace joined different clubs, and grace was so incredibly grateful for you. 
something to know about your girlfriend, she was incredibly private. grace hated the thought of you being a secret but she was so protective.
she often had nightmares of you being found by crazy friends and getting harassed, and that was why she kept you private. her work and social life completely separate.
you didn’t mind it, you and grace were secure amongst yoursleves and within your relationship to not find it offensive. you both loved each other and that was all that really mattered.
all her teammates, your friends and family knew about your relationship and knew how much you meant to each other, and that was enough for both of you.
there were subtle hints here and there, people knew grace had a partner, she just didn’t want to give anyone details. both of your instagrams had soft hints towards your relationship, but nothing too obvious or completely out there.
you would come to every match without fail, always waiting for her at the end of the match.
she spots you sitting in the stands, clad in her jersey with a proud smile on your face as you watched her sign things and take photos with fans. she felt herself grow shy at the pure look of admiration on your face.
when people began to leave, she smiles over at you, you smile at the girl, nodding your head flirtily as she gave you a cheeky wave with a wink.
she gestures to the tunnel, meaning to follow her to the back later on. you nod, laughing at her cheeky antics, you pucker your lips up jokingly and she rolls her finger in a circle to hint for you to hurry up so she could say hello.
you wait for her in the carpark, perched up against your shared car, she rushes out excitedly, clearly out of breath but she smiles so brightly when she sees you, her most favourite person in the entire world.
you open your arms out to her expectantly and she walks into them with a relieved breath, hugging you around the middle tightly.
“hi, baby” she whispered in your ear, her lips giving you a subtle kiss on the shell of your ear. “hi, gracie girl”, you chuckle, rubbing your hands up and down her back before you pulled apart, puckering your lips up at her teasingly. she smirks, her hand cupping the underside of your jaw to pull you into a loving kiss. 
“i missed you” she breathes out against your lips, you smile, pecking them, “i missed you too, baby, two hours is way too long” you chuckle mockingly, kissing her a little longer this time.
she smiles in the kiss, drawing you in closer with her hands on your waist, “two hours felt like two days” she mocks, giving your hips a gentle squeeze as she walked you to the passenger side of the car, opening the door for you and closing it once you were seated.
“you played so well today, gracie baby” you smile at her when she puts her seatbelt on, she grins so sheepishly, cheeks pink no matter the time or place when it came to you.
“cause you were there” she shakes her head in your face, kissing your lips tenderly before she grabbed your hand to hold as she drove.
when grace got transferred to tottenham, things fast tracked. 
“baby, it’s only fair” grace groans, flopped on top of you as you were under the covers in the early hours of the morning. “gracie, i love you, but please, no” you beg, speaking up from under the blanket.
she sighs, smushing her face into your stomach over the blanket, “babe!” she yells, muffled by the blankets, you rip the blankets off your face, giving her your best scowl when she looked up at you from the movement.
“please, no, it’s too early” you exclaim, grace smiles at you, clearly amused by your attempt at anger on your features. “you got to pick dinner, and the movie last night” grace reminds, “i knew you let me pick because you wanted something,” you tutt, shaking your head.
she gasps, her hand clutching her chest, “i would do no such thing!” she moves up to straddle your waist as you hold yourself up by your elbows.
“my ass” you whisper, letting your girlfriend press a sweet kiss to your lips, “please” she pouts. her hands moving the blanket off you to hold your waist, kissing you again. you hum against her, clearly her little plan had worked.
“please come to training” she whispers, her words fluttering over your lips. you roll your eyes fondly, nodding and letting your girlfriend kiss your cheeks repeatedly, pulling you up from the bed excitedly.
the girl had already picked out your clothes, that’s how confident she was that she could get you to come to training with her. her separation anxiety was real.
you laugh when you see the ‘clinton’ hoodie on the top of the pile of clothes, shaking your head but putting it on anyway.
and when you both arrived at training, and you were seen in the training video wearing that hoodie, the questions and speculation were growing tenfold. who was this girl grace brought to training?
you and grace had been chatting after all the bombarding questions reached both of your phones. and you both decided, maybe it was time to put your relationship out in the open. although you both had your worries, you just didn’t want to hide anymore. 
and so after careful deliberation, you and grace would make your relationship official in her debut match for the senior lioness team.
grace was so jittery in her hotel room this morning, aggie had to message you that your girlfriend was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. you call her and she picks up a couple seconds after you press the call button.
“baby” she breathes out, clutching onto the phone as she talked to you, “hi, babe, you okay?” you ask her, phone on speaker as you get ready for the game. “i’m okay, just nervous” you hum at her words, “and that’s okay, baby” you remind her and she instantly calms down.
“yeah, i know” she sighs, “i miss you, i can’t wait to see you tonight” she grins, fiddling with the ends of her shorts. you giggle into the phone, “i miss you too baby, i’m very excited to see you” you both chatter back and forth before you hung up.
“i better see clinton on your back, babe, i love you!” she calls out into the phone before she hangs up, getting rushed onto the bus. you laugh, already wearing the england jersey with your girl’s name on the back. like you were a rooke, tsk.
you sat with her family in the stands, understanding why grace was so jittery. you watch her train and she looks pale, there’s so much riding on this. she wants to do well, she needs to do well. she needs to impress you.
she waves at you shyly when she spots you, you smile at her brightly, holding your hands up in a heart shape to make her giggle, and it thankfully works. she mimics your gesture, making you giggle as well. you both calmed down after that.
the match concludes and she does extremely well, the look of pride on both of your faces was infectious. you cheer loudly when they do a lap of appreciation. and like usual, when she completes her signatures and pictures and walks over to the friends and family section. 
she smiles up at you from the bottom of the pitch, ushering with her hand to come down to where she was.
you smile at her shyly, walking around others to reach her, and when you do, you don't think you’ve ever seen her smile so brightly. “hello, beautiful” she pulls you in by your waste to hug you tenderly, kissing your cheek before she rests her head on your shoulder to feel closer to you. 
“hi, superstar” you hug her tightly, the barrier making it a little difficult but you both didn’t care. she pulls back to look at you, to really look at you. she may have just debut and reached one of biggest goals of her life, but you’re really the best achievement in her life.
“you’re sure about this?” grace questions, eyes flickering between your own in concern, you smile softly, brushing a stray hair from her forehead and tucking it tenderly behind her ear.
“i’m sure, lovey” she smiles at your words, breathing out happily as she took in your appearance before she placed her hand onto your jaw.
she pulls you into a soft kiss, tame for the public but so incredibly meaningful. you hear the distant cheering of everyone, but it's drowned out with feeling grace’s lips move with yours. it lasts for a couple seconds before she pulls away, resting her forehead on yours.
both of you smile, holding each other tightly, slightly in shock that you were both now official to the public. “finally” she teases, pinching your hip, you laugh, hitting her arm softly before leaning in to peck her lips.
you both see people holding up phones, chattering and talking about the two of you but you both really didn’t care. you had each other and that is all that matters.
though, what you both didn’t expect was the overwhelming amount of support you both gained out of this. the worry was honestly for nothing.
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you know the drill - pretend it’s you!! ily celin
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multific · 1 year ago
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A Thousand Years
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Astarion x Reader
Summary: Astarion tells a story of love.
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"Tell me about your wife." said the man sitting in front of Astarion, the room was quiet around them, only the crackling of the fire could be heard.
Upon hearing the word, wife, Astarion's features softened. 
"It might be a long one."
"I want to hear it." insisted the man as he leaned back in his chair, waiting for Astarion to start.
Astarion smiled, his eyes filled with love as he began.
"My wife... My beloved Y/N. She saved me you know, in more ways than one. She not only helped me kill the man who caused me so much pain and suffering, but she saved me from myself.
My beloved was a strong woman, brave and incredibly beautiful. She was a kind soul and yet, she could kill a thousand men without taking a break.
She loved songs and loved to dance. Although that might be because I was the one dancing with her. She often said she didn't wish to dance with anyone else but me.
She enjoyed sweets. But only the ones I have given her.
And even if I told her not, she kept on eating them.
It has been so long yet, I will never forget her laugh. She became my world. You know, it wasn't even intentional, I fell in love by accident. I was only meant to seduce her so she would help me kill Cazador. And yet I found myself in love.
But make no mistake, I never regretted the feelings I have. Not once. Falling in love with her was so easy.
I am quite privileged to be able to tell that she was my wife.
My... scars on my back, she cried when she first saw them. She hugged me and told me how sorry she was for I had to endure such pain. She kissed me and cried at the same time. I was so confused by it, I didn't know what to do.
But then, not long after, I asked her to marry me." Astarion looked at the gold band on his finger.
"I never believed in marriage, I thought it was silly for people to bind themselves to one another, and the symbol of it all... a simple ring. I laughed at the idea until I met the person I never wanted to let go of again. Suddenly I wanted nothing more but to have her bonded to me and for me to be bonded to her. I looked and searched for the perfect rings. Matching ones, but hers had a simple stone in the middle. A stone which was made of our blood. The perfect diamond, mixed with my and her blood. And then, we were married. Not like the words of others mattered to me, I would have been happy just to have her in my life, but to have her as my wife... it meant everything. 
I will not bore you of the events directly after the wedding, leave it up for your imagination I suppose, but I can assure you, she was the first woman who could have me at her feet with a simple look.
And she always looked at me with so much love and care. She was always so gentle and lovely.
When people say love burns like fire, they lie, my love for her burns like lava, much like the core of the Earth. I was ready to destroy everything and everyone who would dare get between us. If I had to, I would have burnt down villages for her, for she was mine.
And not long after, she gave me the greatest gift. 
A gift so precious.
I will never forget the look on her face when she told me, pure happiness.
She was with child.
Something I never even thought would be possible for me and yet there she was, getting more and more round with my child, with my son. Our son.
She was the sun for me. I have lived a long life in darkness and pain, and she made it all go away with a simple simple. I had a life of happiness thanks to her." Astarion leaned back in his chair once more when the noises from the kitchen stopped.
"STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M DEAD!"
"I have never used the word 'dead', My Love." Astarion turned to look at you as you exited the kitchen.
"But you made it sound like I am." you pouted as Astarion looked at the ring on your finger, he smiled as you placed the food on the table. "Don't listen to him, Love, he is but an old romantic." you said as you sat down.
"I am very much aware, Mother. I just like to listen to him talk about you." admitted your son as he smiled at the two of you. Now a grown man, yet all you could see was him as a little boy running around the house, hair silver like his father's but eyes the same as yours.
"That's because I love your mother very much."
"I love you too." you replied as you all finally began to eat.
You two loved each other for a thousand years, and you will continue to love for another thousand to come.
Your son could only hope to find such love.
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Taglist: @fleursirvart@greenarrowhead @thisismysecrethappyplace@sincerelyfan@theoneanna@aestheticsandmarvel@rororo06@castellandiangelo@destynelseclipsa@spilledinkindumpster@capsiclesdoll@puknow@alwayshave-faith@alex12948@lxdyred@imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl@anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek@praline357 @trshngyn@avengers-r-us @violet-19999 @top1bbgloak @manduse@jacalineiscomingforyou @mandoloriancookie@noname2246
In case you want to help out a dreamer: patreon.com/multific  
~Masterlist~
ˇAO3ˇ
DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  
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copperbadge · 5 months ago
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This is not to sniff at packaged food in any way, because cheap, uniform, nutritious, premade food is important and necessary. And despite what your local tiktok orthorexic may tell you, packaged food is still capable of providing solid nutrition.
That said, I've been making my own bread for about twenty years, and for the last ten or so it has often been easier to make bread than buy it, solely because I don't need to leave the house to do so, and I live alone so a decent loaf can last me a good ten days. Being able to make ones own bread in this modern era is a product of privilege -- the resources to buy the ingredients (especially high quality flour, not cheap), the time and space to bake, the stamina to knead or equipment to make kneading easier -- my breads improved a lot when I got a good stand mixer, and those aren't cheap. But also, to make a decent edible boule you can get by with flour, water, yeast, salt, and time. Throw in a little oil and you can make pizza crust; add in kneading and a bit of sugar and you have bagels.
It did somewhat change how I eat, because homemade bread is often a little difficult to make a sandwich with, but I was never a huge fan of sandos anyway. These days I often don't even make loaves -- I make rolls or bagels, or flatbreads.
But all of this is to say that because I'm now accustomed to eating my own bread, which is necessarily small-batch and produced without stabilizers that make commercial bread so soft and uniform, I am starting to struggle when I do buy bread because the flavor and texture often feel off. It's not that it's objectively bad food, but it's very different from what I'm used to, which is unpleasant. I've been aware of the issue for a while but previously even if the bread wasn't as good to me as my own, it was edible and convenient, so it was fine. Making your own hot dog buns is a pain in the ass.
I just bought a loaf of Italian bread, reasonably fresh, a brand I used to eat regularly, because I wasn't feeling up to baking anything. I've been making toast with it mostly. But yesterday morning -- admittedly while dealing with some nausea -- I bit into a sandwich I'd made with it (cashew butter and strawberry jam) and thought, "this feels like eating upholstery fabric."
I haven't been able to eat any more of it since. The soft, dense texture, the specific preservative flavor, the mouthfeel. I tried to eat some toast just now and had to spit it out because it felt like buttered brocade and I started to gag. I'm kind of mad about it, honestly.
The bread won't go to waste -- if I can't eat the rest of the bag I'll dry it out and crush it for breadcrumbs for fried chicken or a panade -- but it's both sad and funny that I have functionally baked myself into a corner where packaged bread is no longer even an option.
It feels like I'm becoming one of the middle-aged eccentrics I used to know when I was a kid -- older people or couples in my church, sometimes parents of my school friends, who were just kind of oddballs, hippie leftovers, what I still think of as Berkeley Weirdos (affectionate) even though Berkeley has long since gentrified. The lady who didn't have a functional oven or stove because she ate raw vegan or the family that converted their old station wagon to biofuel but kept the rear-facing back seats with no seatbelts and would give us death-defying rides to the community pool in them. I'm already growing my own basil because I eat an unlikely amount of pesto for one person. My signature potluck dishes are kiwi dip or egg-free meringues.
I don't mind, exactly. I loved the Berkeley Weirdos and the community they built for us kids. But it's definitely not a place I imagined ending up.
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unlimitedlust · 5 months ago
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Chokehold - Noah Sebastian x Reader (+18)
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Author's Note:
Heyy, I've had this idea in my head for a while now and it took me some time to finally write it so I hope y'all like it!!
I'm new to this fandom and this is my very first Noah Sebastian fanfiction, but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Disclaimers: as any other content in this blog, this is a highly NSFW smutty story so if you're not into this kind of explicit content I advise you not to read it. Here you'll have a bit of plot and lots of porn, unprotected p in v (be safe out there), oral (f receiving), Noah being a giver, alcohol and lots of explicit descriptions.
English is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes I eventually skipped while proof-reading it.
I wrote it to Sleep Token's "Chokehold", "Take Me Back To Eden" and "The Summoning", and also to Bad Omens' "The Death Of Piece Of Mind" and "What It Cost", so if you're into listening to something while reading, I recommend you these songs.
WC: 4.7K
Enjoy your time here and if you enjoy it, feel free to leave it a like and/or to reblog the story, your feedback is what keeps me writing!!
End of Author's Note
-0-
You were Bad Omens’ photographer for the tour, the one responsible for taking all the pictures the fans would go feral online, especially Noah’s, and you couldn’t help but to keep giving them more material, because even though you’d never admit it, you’d also secretly had a deep crush on him. 
The guys from the band and the crew would often joke about how Noah’s pictures were the best ones and how you privileged him over the rest of the band, but you always dismissed the subject by saying that it wasn’t your fault he had the better angle since he was the lead singer. It was true in some aspects, yes, but your skills for taking fantastic pictures no matter how challenging the circumstance was were undeniable, so in the end of the day, it wasn’t hard to reach the conclusion that Noah was your favorite.
You often caught yourself admiring the pictures you took of him, his perfect angelical features in contrast with his tattoo covered skin, the way his eyes would catch the lens like he was staring right into your soul through the camera separating you.
But that was all coming to an end tonight.
They’d just played their last concert of the tour and you’d all agreed to make a small (kind of) party to celebrate it at the boys’ place.
You felt bittersweet towards the event. You were happy to be partying with them and being able to enjoy the moment without the concern of taking the perfect pictures. But on the other hand, you were sad you wouldn’t be seeing the band daily anymore and you’d miss them because you’d gotten attached to them and to their jokes, and also (and obviously) because you wouldn’t be seeing Noah anymore.
Your flight home for the morning after the party was already booked and you’d already checked in to save you some time.
So you sighed when you walked inside the big house in front of you. You, like always, held your confident and unwavering poise before everyone, but deep down you were uneasy. Was this the last time you’d be seeing him? In how long? Or ever?
You couldn’t hear the sounds of your heels clicking on the wooden floor because at each step you got closer to the party where loud music was blasting and you soon found the small crowd of people in the main living room already having their own fun.
You felt an arm hooking on yours and suddenly Folio was pulling you through the people towards the rest of the band and you couldn’t help but to smile at the unexpected gesture.
Your heart raced and your cheeks burned as you got closer to Noah, who’d been watching you from the moment you arrived, but you played it cool like always as you got to them and Ruffilo immediately put a bottle of beer in your hand.
Noah couldn’t take his eyes off you. 
You didn’t know that, but he also had a strong crush on you and all of the band knew it. He always told them it was just a small crush and they should ignore it just as he did (or tried), because he wanted to keep it professional between you two.
But when you got to his sight and he saw you wearing that black leather crop top, with thin straps on your shoulders, just a zipper on the front imprisoning your breasts and highlighting your cleavage, along with a high-waisted skinny black skirt molding your curves and, mainly, your ass, bare toned legs on display and black boots on your feet, he was done.
You’d spent the last months practically living together in tour buses and stuff, but you always wore larger, baggy dark clothes that’d cover your body and blend you with the rest of the crew, so how well you looked caught not only Noah’s attention, but everyone else’s, the difference tonight was the fact that Noah just wouldn’t stop staring.
You felt confident, you knew you looked hot and secretly you’d chosen your clothes just for him, to impress him, to catch his attention. And your mission was successfully accomplished.
“Hey pretty” Noah reached his right arm out and pulled you to him in a side hug before kissing the top of your head.
“Hey handsome”
That exchange wasn’t new for you, it was like that every time you met, but this time, the way his lips lingered longer in your forehead as you inhaled his scent deeply got you very aware that something was different tonight. Was it because you were parting ways?
When he let you go he searched for the flustered expression you always had in your face when he did that, but sensed some apprehension instead, despite the grin forming on your lips.
Another thing you didn’t know is that Noah learned over time how to read you and he loved how cute you looked every time he got a shy smile out of your lips.
He loved how flustered you got when he gave the camera the looks he knew got you weak on your knees, because every time he did that, he saw how you unwittingly licked your lips as you checked out the pictures you’d just taken. And no, you didn’t have that same reaction over the pictures you took from the rest of the band, no matter how incredible they were.
“Gonna miss me now that the tour is over?” You teased him, taking a sip from your beer.
“Miss you? Why? We’re not going anywhere” Confusion splattered across Noah’s face as he had his full attention on you.
“You remember I live on the other side of the world right?”
His jaw visibly tensed when he finally processed the information you just brought him.
“Fuck…” Noah was frustrated “But you’re still coming for the barbecue tomorrow, right?” 
“Uh… Nope… My flight leaves early in the morning actually…” You felt guilty as the words came from your lips, the intensity of his glare over you stealing your breath as Noah looked like he’d just been stabbed.
“No, you can’t do that… Are you saying this is our last night with you until God knows when?”
He took a big gulp of his own beer, his knuckles white due to the hard grip on the bottle and on the counter behind him, until he sighed in defeat.
“Come on, it’s not like we’re never seeing each other again” You nudged him trying to cheer him up “All you gotta do is hire me as your photographer again” You winked at him and took another swing of your beer, but you didn’t miss the way he watched your lips wrapping around the bottle.
“You say it like we’ve fired you, but you forget you won’t get rid of us, and especially me that easy”
“Like I’d want to get rid of you” You rolled your eyes.
“You could’ve waited a little longer to go home though, are you that tired of looking at my face?” He teased, the smirk on his lips making you weak on your knees.
“Tired of looking at a catch like that? Never”
“You think I’m a catch? Good to know” The way his eyes burned as he looked at you up and down again raised goosebumps on your skin.
“You’re insufferable” 
“And you’re a terrible liar” He grabbed your hand “Now come on let’s have some fun”
The rest of the band along with other guests had gathered around the sofas in the middle of the room, all of them paying attention to Jolly, who was explaining the rules of the drinking game he’d just invented.
After a few drinks, beers and shots in, you along with anyone else got loose and the games that were tame at first got wilder as the night went on.
“Truth or dare, come on, never gets old and I’m dying for some revelations tonight” Folio spun an empty bottle in the center of the coffee table in front of them “bottom asks, top answers”
The bottle finally stopped spinning and you had the first round: Rufillo to Jolly.
Jolly chose dare and Rufillo made him drink 5 seconds of tequila.
Another spin. Folio to you.
“Come on honey, truth or dare?” He made the question with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“Truth”
“Let’s heat things up a bit then: of the people in this room, who would you make out with?”
Your cheeks burned red with his question as all eyes were on you and the room went silent waiting for your answer. Yet you weren’t shy, the alcohol in your system had you bold at that point.
“Noah” 
“Yet you always deny he’s your favorite” Folio pretended to be offended.
You winked at Noah, who was sitting by your side, eyes narrowed in you as he raked them over you, visibly satisfied by your answer.
A few more rounds went by until the bottle landed on Noah.
“Truth or dare, buddy?” Folio had evil intentions in his eyes again and of course Noah wasn’t going to be spared.
“Dare”
“I dare you to take a body shot on the person you find the hottest in this room”
Noah left his place by your side as the boys brought him salt, a piece of lime and a shot of tequila. When he got up you felt your heart sinking in your chest with the realization he might choose another girl, but when he knelt in front of you, you lost your breath.
Noah rested his tattooed hands on your knees, uncrossed your legs and pulled you towards him, to the edge of the couch, the way he manhandled you catching you off guard as he was now between your legs and your skirt rose higher, getting dangerously shorter.
Heat pooled in your panties as you watched him lean you backwards and prepare you for the body shot. He placed the small glass of tequila in your cleavage, poured salt on your neck and the piece of lime between your lips.
“May I?” He splayed his hands on your thighs as the smug on his lips grew wider.
Since your lips were occupied by the piece of lime, you only nodded, watching him lick his lips as he leaned closer towards your neck. 
Noah took his time on licking the salt off your neck, swirling his tongue and kissing your skin in the process, then made his way down to your chest where his nose brushed against the valley of your breasts as he wrapped his lips around the shot glass to down it, and for last came up for the lime on your lips, his own ghosting over yours as he took it with his teeth, eyes locked on yours as he teased you in front of everyone, fingers sinking on your thighs as he seemed to be holding himself back.
Rufillo cleared his throat loudly and Noah quickly stood on his feet.
“Fuck I’m dizzy” Was all you could muster as you got up as well all flustered, pulling your skirt down as you headed for the kitchen for some water.
You were so aroused you didn’t know what to do with yourself. Your core ached between your legs as you pressed them together hoping for some friction. You chugged down a glass of cold water in a vain attempt to ease your nerves, but it wasn’t water you were thirsty for.
The feel of his tongue and lips on your neck still lingered, tingling, and you wondered what he would do to you if you weren’t surrounded by people.
“Thirsty?” Noah materialized behind you, practically caging you, but also keeping some distance.
His eyes were darker than usual, burning holes in yours as he waited for your answer, and you both knew very well that “water” wasn’t the subject, and since this was your last night with them, with him, you weren’t running away anymore.
“Been the whole tour” You fired back at him and he took a step closer.
“Same on my part” He cupped your cheek with one of his hands, his fingers entangling with the hair on your nape while his thumb traced your lips “It’s a shame we waited this long… If you only knew all the ways I’ve had you in my mind…”
His husky voice sent your shivers straight to your pussy at his confession, and you wanted nothing but to have at least a sneak peak of what he’d had in his head. If only he could know what’s been to yours as well.
“Well now I can’t seem to understand why are you taking so long to show me?”
“Is there someone in a hurry?”
“Since I have a flight in the morning…” His hand slid down to your neck, choking you.
“And who says you’re getting into that plane tomorrow?” You couldn’t help but to moan when he tightened his hand around your neck just enough to make you melt into his grip “Let’s get out of here”
He let go of your neck and grabbed your hand, guiding you upstairs towards his bedroom. You stood in the middle of his room waiting for his next step as he locked the door behind him, the predatory gaze sending shivers down your spine as he checked you out once again.
“You are so fucking beautiful”
You couldn’t help but to blush at his confession as he stood in front of you, both hands cupping your face, admiring your delicate features.
“I’ve been wanting to do this since the first day I laid my eyes on you” He licked his lips, his eyes shifting from your lips to your eyes.
“Fucking kiss me, Noah”
“Thought you’d never ask”
He crashed his lips against yours and you felt your body going limp in his arms as he deepened the kiss. You let your fingers trail their way through his dark soft hair as his tongue explored yours, devouring you. He kissed you passionately and his hands roamed free over your body, you nibbled his lower lip and he pulled your hips closer, making sure you’d feel how hard he already was, pressing against your belly.
“If you don’t tell me to stop now, I won’t” He gasped, his restraint holding on by a thread.
“Who says I want you to stop?” Your hands slid down his chest to the hem of his shirt “I want your everything” You pulled his shirt upwards and he took the cue to help you take it off.
Your fingertips traced the tattoos on his body in admiration, every inch of him pure perfection in your eyes.
He kissed you again and guided you backwards to his bed, making your body collapse on it just as you felt your calves hitting its edge. Noah hovered over you, the thin chain around his neck dangling over you, almost touching your face as his hand ran up the side of your body from your outer thigh.
When he reached your ribcage, his fingers changed their path to the middle of your chest, to the zipper of your crop top, and you held your breath as he opened it slowly, eyes trained on you as the leather piece slowly slid off your breasts revealing them to him, nipples hard and sensitive on his full disposal.
“Fucking amazing”
Your lips met once more as he splayed one of his hands on one of your boobs, fondling it and pitching your nipple between his tattooed fingers. His body stood between your legs and you whimpered when he rubbed his clothed manhood against your aching center, covered only by helplessly damp lace panties.
His lips trailed kisses down your jaw towards your neck, where he now, very aware of your sensitivity in that area, covered your skin in with kisses and angry love-bites, clearly intending on marking you as his.
Your manicured nails ran up his back as his lips now peppered kisses down your clavicles to your chest, his mouth immediately latching on one of your breasts, suckling and nibbling your nipple, to then soothe the small sting with the softness of his tongue before switching his attention to the other.
You arched your back, legs spreading wider apart as you surrender yourself completely to his mercy, small cries of pleasure escaping your lips as you watched him, mouth and hands full of your boobs, the ache between your legs almost unbearable as you desperately needed him there, filling you.
“Noah please…” You pleaded as your legs tried to pull his hips to grind against you with no avail.
His voice was raw, deep and filled with lust: “Please what?” 
He teased, lips now traveling lower on your body, stopping only to give him enough room to take both your skirt and panties at once, throwing it randomly in his room.
“I need you to tell me what you want babe” He nibbled the skin right below your navel, and the realization of how close he was to your intimacy sent stronger shivers over your body as he kissed your inner thighs “Fuck you’re dripping”
“I need you inside me, please” You whined as his lips got closer to your hot center, his eyes admiring how glistening wet you already were for him before he blew his breath on you, making you quiver at the sensitivity.
“I will princess, but I need to taste you first”
Noah spread your legs wider apart and his tongue ran flat over your pussy, collecting and tasting all the arousal he could get, moaning against you as he finally got to taste you. His skilled tongue on your clit got you seeing stars in seconds as he worked on building your orgasm, and you prayed the music downstairs was loud enough to keep the rest of the party from hearing you, because you just couldn’t hold yourself back.
“You taste so fucking good”
Noah ate you like a starved man, feasting on you, taking pleasure in watching the sexed expressions on your face and how you helplessly writhed below him. He added a finger inside you as he kept working on you with his mouth, his long finger immediately finding the magic spongy spot inside you that made your legs shake around his neck as the pleasure knot forming on your lower belly threatened to explode violently at any second.
You tried to hold it back for as long as you could, but when he combined the work on your clit with his tongue along with a precise flick of his wrist, he forced the orgasm out of you in strong white hot waves of ecstasy, making you lose your senses for a few seconds as he rode your high.
Yet Noah didn’t stop.
Still eating you, he held you firmly and flipped you both on the bed, making you sit on his face. Your faltering legs threatened your balance, but his firm grip kept you up straight. 
You looked below you and the scene alone almost made you cum again. The pussy-drunk look on his face, the disheveled hair, the way half of his face was covered in your slick, dark eyes glossy as he looked up meeting yours as he kept lapping, sucking, overstimulating you on purpose.
“Oh my fuck N-Noah…” 
“Fuck my face babe” 
He growled against you, fingers sinking on your ass cheeks as you, still shaky, followed his command and started to roll your hips back and forth, allowing you to control the pace, the pressure, and to use his face on your own will.
You felt your climax blossoming inside you again as he kept devouring you, drinking in every drop he could take from you, his nose rubbing against your clit while he fucked you with his tongue. 
“Oh fuck… Noah…” Your orgasm bubbled up inside you again, but you were not ready for it yet, you were sure you’d collapse on top of him if he gave you another one in such a short time.
As if reading your thoughts Noah stopped, keeping you from falling apart so soon, but on the other hand edging you as you were so close to jumping off that cliff again.
You got off of his face and moved down his body to remove his pants and underwear, hurried, dying to feel him. He propped himself on his elbows and watched you undress him with shaky hands, the fucked out expression on your face making him want more of you.
Your jaw dropped when his cock sprung free, rock hard against his belly, head glistening with precum, the size and thickness doing justice to his height, and your throat went dry to the thinking of how he would feel inside you, stretching you.
“It’s all yours” He grinned, watching you admire him.
You straddled and pulled him up to kiss you and your taste still lingered on his tongue. His arms wrapped around your back and waist bringing you closer, and you took the cue to rock yourself against his shaft, coating it with your arousal, mixing it with his precum, the friction making him groan against your lips.
You pulled his hair, tilting his head back exposing his neck, and attacked it with your lips and tongue, all while you now teased the head of his cock with your opening, pretending you’d finally let him in, threatening to finally join your bodies, but skipping it every time, his digits digging on your flesh with his impatiency.
“You’re gonna make me beg for it now?” He peppered kisses on your chest and collarbone.
“You tell me… You want it that bad?” You whispered in his ear and nibbled on his earlobe.
That’s until he took control over you again and held your hips in place, lining himself with your entrance, all while he pulled you by your hair with his free hand, pulling you away from his neck, making you look at him, eyes so dark with lust and oozing such a primal desire you felt like prey.
“I do” 
He caressed your cheek with his thumb.
“Now eyes on me” 
He instructed and you immediately obeyed. With one of his hands still on the back of your head and the other on your hip, the tip of his cock met your pussy and Noah pressed you down on him, merging your bodies slowly. His name came out of your lips in such a sinful pitch that made him throb inside you, the vision and the feeling of you, flesh and bone, being endlessly better than he could’ve ever imagined.
Your arms snaked around his neck as he bottomed you out, you felt so full and stretched, your whole body was on fire, ignited with desire, and when you got used to his size you started to move on top of him, slowly increasing your pace as you rode him, stealing grunts of pleasure out of him every time you intentionally clenched around him and fucked him harder, your skin slapping against his as his fingers dug into your thighs.
He was so lost in his own moment he didn’t know if he should look at where your bodies merged, at your boobs bouncing in front of his face or at your sex glazed eyes. His lips captured yours once again as you rocked your hips back and forth, that very specific motion almost making you both snap.
“Fuck you’re gonna make me cum” 
He whined and rolled you both, laying you on the bed as he got on top of you, switching positions so he could last longer, to feel you longer, to fuck you longer. He pushed himself inside of you again and all at once, at the new depth he reached with that position turned you into a moaning mess as he now set his own pace, but making sure that with every thrust he stimulated that very spot he found earlier inside you.
“Noah oh my…” 
You couldn’t finish your sentence as that postponed orgasm emerged again like a tsunami, washing away all of your senses as it bursted from inside out, hard, making your pussy clench desperately around him as he rode your high, taking every bit of his restraint to ride you through it without unloading inside you, cock throbbing in need, and just as he felt your body becoming jelly under his he pulled out of you, cumming on your belly in long hot spurts as he stilled over you, cheeks red and eyes rolled back.
He glued his forehead on yours, breathing still heavy as he came back from his own high, admiring how impossibly beautiful you looked at that very moment.
“There’s no fucking way I’m letting you into that plane tomorrow”
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fizzie-frog · 7 months ago
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You know, the Stolitz scene was a trainwreck as a whole (they usually are), but what honestly got me most was the way Blitz started pleading when he thought his livelihood was going to be taken away.
THIS IS NOT A STOLAS SLANDER POST. I'm coming from a place where I've seen Blitz being mostly, if not entirely blamed for their lack of communication most of the time.
Moving on...
People keep going like "Well if imps are so low in the hierarchy..." - Let's take a break to think. Blitz isn't rich, he's just getting by really. And how is he getting by?
By prostituting himself. To the upper class.
That's what it is, he's a certified whxre. Things may have evolved in the meantime, but that's how it started. Blitz got asked for the deal while being chased by a crazy lady and him, wanting to keep his business and livelihood, said yes, obviously.
Now Stolas was suddenly taking the book back with no apparent explanation (until they got to the crystal), so of course Blitz thought he was doomed. On a side note, why couldn't Stolas say "You won't need the book, I have an alternative" instead of the ominous "I'll need the book back, permanently. I have made up my mind." I would be scared out of my mind.
He teared up immediately and started pleading, you could already see what was going through his head. He won't have the means to support his business anymore, to pay his employees, to afford a home, he'll be homeless and have no means to take care of Loona. Everyone will leave him again and he will starve on the streets all alone.
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He'd do anything to be able to live a life a bit better than miserable, of course he would.
And this brings me to Stolas's treatment of Blitz. I see that everything tends to fall on Blitz, and I'm not saying he has no fault (in fact I didn't even like him at the beginning of the series too much), but Stolas treated him like a peasant. Just the episode before Ozzie's he's called him his "impish little plaything" and asked for a reward for the rescue. He put out cigarettes on his horns, he ignored his "stop" most times, he addressed him in this little baby voice with babying diminutives. "Itty bitty" imp.
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And I am sure Stolas is socially clueless. He was brought up alone and sheltered, taught to be a prince first and foremost.
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Stolas probably saw this as playful banter, as something that is inoffensive, silly. It was only in the Ozzie's episode that he finally saw that actually, his silly play served to make Blitz feel smaller.
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And of course in this scenario, Blitz would see this coming out of the nether. He reacted quite badly, but why would this prince be actually in love with him? As he said, he needed to have a minute (or several) to think about everything. They needed to talk this out, and Blitz was about to apologize when Stolas cast him out.
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They were both emotionally charged. They fucked up. But I can see Blitz's side. And the power imbalance is so evident, that hierarchy that everyone keeps saying is irrelevant - in a moment's notice, he could have his life swept from underneath him. Just like he thought it happened in that split moment; it worried him so much that he cried and pleaded (and that's not in Blitz's character to do).
And then he was so scared of not being enough too, ugh, his little "I can always do better!". He's so used to everyone just seeing him as a lost cause, better to be discarded. With this amalgamation of things, no wonder he can't believe Stolas would have feelings for him.
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So uh, I don't know what the conclusion to this is. Normalize getting imps some actual comfort? So far the only really privileged imp in Helluva Boss is Fizz after getting rid of Mammon. And when I say priviledged, I'm referring to wealth and upper class, not taking into account personal issues such as disability and so forth.
Anyway, this was my two cents on Stolitz. I honestly haven't thought too much on them, I'm riding on the Fizzarolli high. I'm chill over here in my Fizzmodeus bubble, but doesn't mean I have no thoughts on Stolitz.
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Are You Sure?! - Episode 7 Observations
9.5/10 ☆
Something clicked for me in the latest AYS?! episode. After years of following these two people and getting excited for any interaction or information regarding them, it was now perhaps the first time when watching them felt like not witnessing something special. Oh, I know how this sounds, but it's not what you think and I will explain.
When I say it didn't feel special I meant that nothing felt like a novelty. You know how shocked and excited we all became when Jimin called Jungkook during a birthday wlive? Or the collective metaphorical screaming on social media every time one would get close into the other one's space in some behind the scenes clip? That reaction for me was also a result of having to see that in a larger context in which jikook were not always the main focus.
Now with AYS?! and seven episodes in, I'm used to basically everything. The evening and morning routine, the soft talking, the flirting, the playfighting, the way they eat together. The nakedness and all the tattoos on display. I've developed a tolerance to it. And episode 7 really helped in cementing that. Yeah, they're half naked in a hot spring. Of course they are. They're brushing their teeth and do their morning skincare routine together. Of course they are. Jungkook buys the snacks and Jimin is in charge of feeding him. Of course. They laugh at the same things and everything is funny when they're together. Of course they do. They're playfighting again? Why would anyone be surprised at this point?
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And I love that we got here. It's everything I wanted without ever thinking that it could be possible. It is extremely satisfying and fun to watch them. It has always been, but AYS?! was an open window into their lives together in a way that it hadn't happened before.
Sapporo is a special segment for many reasons. And as much as it's fun to see them have a good time, the impending military enlistment looms like a shadow over their trip. Jungkook is the one who seems intentional in talking about it in a way that makes light of the situation, while Jimin is more on the silent side.
But all this inevitably made me think of a downside. Because how am I suppose to go back to waiting for an aknowledged look while Jimin and Jungkook would sit at opposite ends in an interview setting? Or not doing a wlive together? Getting minimal interactions because there's 5 other people there? It would feel like something is not right. Jimin and Jungkook come in a package and they do everything together. They laugh and never get bored together. Jungkook cooks for Jimin while Jimin fills the exact needed space and purpose in that kitchen. Jimin can talk about learning to snowboard with Jungkook's friends and that conversation to remain between them and no one else. They can take showers together and then act like stupid boys in some endurance contest in the freezing water and it's their own thing and theirs only.
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AYS?! Sapporo is bittersweet. For Jimin and Jungkook because as much fun they have, they know that their remaining time of freedom is getting to a close. Snow is beautiful there and they are together, but in a few weeks whatever sentiment that might evoke will be in the back of their minds when their reality will be completely different. That's why making those last minute memories together was so important. And they knew that and Jungkook felt the need to say it out loud. Like a constant reminder of how special those few days were.
And it's bittersweet for me too. While there's always the option of rewatching, who knows when such an opportunity (and privilege) will arise once again? Maybe never. Maybe AYS?! will be the first and last time to be able to take a peak through that window at their life...
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blackpilljesus · 7 months ago
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The rise in popularity of single childfree women should signal that we need to start preparing. I've spoken about this before but want to address a common concern of safety regarding maIe retaliation. At this point some women may think they'll be safer trying to get a maIe but the statistics show otherwise. There's a reason women fought for rights in the first place, we all know that maIes as a collective are horrible beings. If maIes were pleasant to be around & reproduce with, they wouldn't need to force women into it.
Now I dont have all the answers in terms of what to do in the face of maIe retaliation but where to start:
1 - Move in silence. MaIes dont need to know our every move. MaIes have enough power as is, them knowing our strategy on top of that wont help. Hell, play dumb sometimes. This also applies to other women, if they push marriage & kids bs be measured in your response, in the end you know your truth. At the end of the day most of these women are also aware of the danger maIes pose.
2 - Organise. This is tough, extremely tough i can't lie. For one we're scattered all over the world & people in our real lives wouldn't have the committment to this nor believe in deviating from the nuclear structure but it is something needed. Even if it's just online, find or build networks with likeminded women. I say this as a lone wolf but infrastructure & network is needed because the government will make it harder to survive alone so some would need to be able to lean on each other for support even if it's just verbal. Disassociate from maIes as far as you can. Take up learning how to defend yourself. If you're serious about this; be prepared to break the rules at some point because playing nice & by the law wont work. These things are set up by men for men and it wont help us. I'm not saying go out there & purposefuly break the law or put yourself in harms way, just saying prepare. It sounds far out now but the current system cant be counted on, blind eyes are turned when maIes abuse women, women are punished for defending themselves under the system. Even if you dont want to go down the route of community, learn to take care of yourself & hold your own down.
3 - Stop arguing with maIes. This doesnt mean that xys are right, I say this a lot but maIes are fully aware of everything. Arguing with maIes online is a waste of time, time that can go to building for yourself or likeminded women. MaIes denying female oppression is part of the game to keep you wasting your energy on them as opposed to working on yourself. It's to keep you in their hands; doesn't matter whether you're right or not, how many statistics you throw at them, you're still biting their bait.
4 - Stack up on resources & money. If you have resources & money and the priviledge to save then start now. If/when things go downhill it wont be a snap thing but a transition so this window needs to be used to the best of our advantage. Take advantage of the privileges you have now to set yourself for the future because that could very well be gone.
I doubt we'd win tbh but I'd rather die trying than live submitting. I will mention that I know it's scary but we have to think forward. Bear in mind the system has never worked for women, some will say things like "but when women leave maIes get more violent" but there is no safety in the first place. Women are sexually harrassed & assaulted any where at any time with no protection already. Women are constantly told of all the things they should or shouldn't do to avoid maIe violence and it doesnt work anyways, maIes will continue to abuse women & girls. No amount of listening & obeying has helped women because it doesn't matter what the reason for maIe violence is, if they cant find a reason they'll create a reason because their motive is to make women suffer in addition to reproduction & having labour.
Now I know many will speak about the violence of maIe retaliation which I'll address in part 3. This is part 2 of 'the rise in single childfree women' group of posts.
Part 1
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deliciousnecks · 2 months ago
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But can we talk about how powerful nandor is? like yeah, he might be a bit silly, and not in touch with the modern world, but if he wanted to, he could have already conquered whatever the fuck he wanted to. (he built an army, and jerry is still looking at maps over there).
like let's just start by pointing out that nandor didn't need to be a vampire to accomplish all these great things that he wanted in life. vampirism only made him more dangerous. nandor has always had too much power in his hands, that he tends to misuse, but that's actually a good thing for the people around him because if not, the truth is that they would be fucked.
He was born in a position of privilege, one that put him later on in his life in positions of power, he was a leader who did fucked up shit. As a vampire, he can hypnotize thousands, but even if he couldn't, nandor knows how to attract people to him when he puts his mind to it, as we were able to see, but guess what? he also has doing everyone around him doing whatever shit he wants, because rarely people can say no to him. What nandor wants, nandor gets (even the stupidest of things).
Now. Don't get me started with his pyrokinesis. The dude can create and manipulate fire. Like come on, you know all the batshit crazy things that he could be doing with that? people should be thankful that he's not going around acting in unhinged ways.
He's a formidable warrior, the fact that he live as long as he did as a human, through battles and wars, and the guy didn't get killed? i don't know, but I think that says a lot about his kills. he also can use a large variety of weapons, so now imagine. This guy who's the greatest warrior of his time, gets the strength and the speed that comes with vampirism. he becomes a fucking killing machine (not like he wasn't one already), but now he's unstoppable and on top of that, immortal!
As i said in the beginning of this post, time and time again nandor has been given power, too much power I should say. he even got those 52 wishes and the things my guy here could have accomplished with them? ridiculous! but he was feeling silly, so... he decided to have fun instead. Good for him.
Now, we now he conquered places and won wars, and while his years as a ruler were bloody, it seems like he did a lot of Al Quolanudar when it comes to territory. What I'm trying to say is that he's a good strategist, he's good, no he's the best at what he does. he excels in what he was trained and taught to do (and even the vampire community acknowledges this).
People always like to underestimate him (the fandom included. it's true.), say that in a battle he stands no chance. That X, Y, and Z are more could easily demolish him, that he can't do shit for himself, but like excuse me, he's the oldest vampire in that house, look at all the shit that he can do, so no. He's the strongest and most powerful piece in that chessboard, mam. Nandor could go on a killing spree and no one could stop him.
This latest season really brought forward this qualities of his that had always been there. Nandor can be competent, he can be assertive, he really just chooses not to, but if he did! well, we saw what can happen when he is.
nandor is powerful, skillful, and dangerous in more than one way, and yes! smart when he needs to be.
And i make this post, because some people have made him into this character that's just an idiot with 0 qualities, and those qualities that he does have, are always being diminished to make other characters look better (yes. to make guillermo look better. i said it, which is highly unnecessary because he can shine on his own).
It's not that he can't do shit, the fact is that he doesn't want to.
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aphroditelovesu · 7 months ago
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Persian Queen
❝commission: non-con/dun-con smut with Alexander the Great where the Reader is the Queen of Persia and Alexander decides to... know the Reader in front of the King and Reader enjoys it.
❝ 📜 — lady l: I really need to try to improve my smuts... But I don't write them that often :V anyway, I hope you like it! Forgive me for any mistakes!! ❤️
❝tw: non-con/dub-con elements, smut, NSFW, threat of murder, adultery.
❝📜pairing: yandere!alexander the great x female!reader.
❝word count: 1,833.
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Your heart was racing and it felt like it was beating harder and harder inside your chest with every step you took towards the new chambers of the new King of Persia.
Alexander of Macedonia.
You felt your mouth go dry with disgust. He was not the King, just a barbarian who invaded your Empire and took it at the cost of the lives of thousands of people. Darius, your husband, tried to fight against the Macedonians but even the strength and power that the Persians possessed were not enough to stop Alexander's ambition for Persia.
And now, you were his hostages.
You looked at one of the windows in the hallway and observed what little you could see of the city. Babylon was a beautiful and lively city and even with the occupation of the Macedonians this had not changed. And for that you were grateful.
When you reached the door to Darius's and now Alexander's old chambers, you took a deep breath and mentally counted to three and when you did, you finally knocked on the door hesitantly.
"Come in." A loud, hoarse voice resounded from within the chambers. You slowly opened the door and peeked inside. You felt your anxiety increase, your breathing become heavy when you noticed that Alexander was with Darius, your husband.
And Darius was securely strapped to a gold-trimmed chair.
You entered the room slowly and closed the door behind you, feeling terrified of what could happen.
Alexander looked at you with a smile gracing his lips. You felt a shiver run down your spine due to what that smile could mean.
"It's a pleasure to see you again, Your Majesty." Alexander said, looking at you with interest shining in his different colored eyes. One brown and one blue. You cursed yourself for finding them beautiful, for finding Alexander an attractive man.
One thing you found good about Alexander, perhaps the only thing, was that he still treated you with respect and dignity. Although he had the right to kill you or send you into slavery, he allowed you to maintain your status as Queen, your privileges and all your due honors.
"I say the same, my King." You tried to hide the disgust you felt when calling him King. Alexander wasn't your king, at least you didn't consider him one.
You turned your gaze to Darius, who looked slightly terrified, although he hid it well. But you knew him and you knew that what he felt was pure fear. Fear for him and for you.
Alexander followed your gaze and smiled, "Your husband is here to have full knowledge of my plans as King of Persia."
You swallowed hard, "... What does that mean?"
You had a bad feeling when Alexander approached you and stood behind you, his hands resting on your shoulders covered in the rich fabric that adorned your body.
Alexander tilted his head to the side and you suppressed a groan of revulsion — that's what you believed it was — when his warm breath caressed the sensitive skin of your neck.
Alexander's hands went to your arms, caressing them with his calloused fingers. You closed your eyes, not being able to bear to look at Darius, who was watching everything angrily.
You felt your face heat up when you felt Alexander's calm breath in your ear, "It means I'm going to take you as mine."
You felt your body tense even more as Alexander's words registered in your mind. What they meant.
In the blink of an eye, Alexander spun you around so you were facing him. When you looked into his eyes, you saw desire, pure lust shining in them. Alexander smiled and brought his index finger to your chin, lifting it. You held your breath as he brought your face closer to his, capturing your lips in a soft kiss.
Your body trembled slightly at the brush of his lips against yours. You closed your eyes when Alexander brought his hands to your head, holding it as he kissed you harder, with more passion. You opened your mouth a little wider when you felt Alexander's tongue on your lips, indicating that he wanted to deepen the kiss and, for some inexplicable reason, you allowed it.
You hesitantly wrapped your arms around the conqueror's strong body, kissing him back with the same desire. It was wrong for many reasons, but it had been a while since you had been touched and Alexander's kisses were hot, they warmed your body in a way that even the thickest fur blankets couldn't.
It was the kind of kiss, of touch, that you knew you would never forget.
When you separated, your breathing was ragged, your face hot and your lips slightly swollen. You refused to look him in the eye, feeling guilty for having betrayed your husband, who was watching everything. Alexander noticed this and smiled mischievously.
''Don't worry about him.'' He purred and grabbed your hand, pulling you to the huge bed in the middle of the room. Bed you knew well enough, remembering the passionate and steamy nights you used to have with Darius. You shook your head, trying not to think about it as you were laid down on the bed by Alexander.
You knew what was going to happen, you knew what Alexander planned to do the moment you felt him analyzing your clothes. Your body trembled slightly at the thought, but you couldn't help the heat that was also inflicted on your body as you were kissed. It had been so long since you and your husband had slept that it wasn't your fault that your body betrayed your mind.
Alexander removed his own robes, a white chiton with some gold trim, and let them fall to the carpet. He approached the bed, where you remained lying like a beautiful statue. He climbed onto the huge bed, sitting next to you. His calloused hands ran over your face gently, caressing it with tenderness that you knew could melt your defenses easily.
''Beautiful...'' He whispered, kissing your forehead gently. You smiled weakly at the compliment. Alexander kissed your lips softly, his hands going to your legs, caressing your soft thighs. He squeezed them tightly, drawing a sigh from you. You bit back a moan when you felt his fingers dangerously close to your center covered only by your clothing. Alexander smiled and without you being able to do anything, he slid two fingers into your intimacy, arching his eyebrow when he felt the moisture there.
You blushed heavily and turned your head, looking to the side. Alexander began to lift the hem of your dress, exposing your legs and leaving them free to be touched and appreciated. You let out a soft moan when Alexander's fingers rubbed your pleasure spot between your legs, making you relax your body, opening your legs a little wider. Alexander took the opening and slipped between your legs, caressing your thighs with one hand and the other exploring your wet cunt.
''A-Ah...'' You sighed when Alexander finally entered a finger into your tight, wet hole. Your body felt hot, the robes you wore didn't help with how hot the room became.
Alexander smiled even wider and kissed the inside of your warm thighs, inserting a second finger into your pussy. You cursed as he moved back and forth and your sensitive walls squeezed his fingers. You were already wet and ready, your cunt sensitive to the touch it hadn't had in a long time.
''You're so beautiful, so soft.'' Alexander purred, removing his wet fingers from your pussy and taking them to his mouth, tasting you. You felt like you were going to pass out at the sight, at the sight of him delighting in your taste.
He stood over you, bringing his face closer to yours and taking your lips in another passionate kiss, and this time, without any hesitation, you kissed him back, your tongues meeting. Alexander pulled the top part of your dress down, ripping off the jewelry that adorned you and throwing them anywhere in the room. He stopped kissing you and went down to your breasts and licked the tip of your right breast, sucking it a little hard.
You moaned at the contact and threw your head back, enjoying the licks. Your breasts have always been a sensitive part of you and it only proved more and more that Alexander paid attention to them and the desire inside you grew more and more. You didn't even notice when you started rubbing one thigh against the other, in an attempt to alleviate the desire.
But Alexander noticed and he decided not to make you wait any longer to be filled. He positioned himself correctly between your thighs and you caught a glimpse of his erection. Your face turned a shade of scarlet with his visible desire, the tip leaking precum. Alexander grabbed your thighs, lifting them a little for a better angle. He placed the tip of his cock against the entrance to your pussy and, after squeezing your thigh once more, Alexander thrusted into you hard.
You moaned loudly at the sudden intrusion and gripped the sheets tightly, your knuckles turning white. Alexander didn't really give you time to adjust, he just started fucking you hard, pushing you harder against the silk sheets.
The only sounds in the room were your moans and Alexander's hoarse moans. He grabbed your left breast, squeezing it as he thrust his hips hard, slamming into you. You threw your head back, your eyes closing as all you felt was Alexander inside you.
''So fucking beautiful...'' Alexander groaned, watching your face. You were so beautiful. And so his. Alexander didn't care that Darius, your husband for now, was watching him take you. Alexander just wanted you.
Alexander squeezed your thighs tighter as he felt his climax approaching. Feeling this, he started to hit you harder, eliciting loud moans from you. When he finally came, he moaned your name loudly like a prayer, his cum filling your warm insides. Alexander took a deep breath and pulled away from you.
You continued to lie down, feeling as guilty as you were satisfied. You could feel Alexander's seed inside you, with the possibility of making you pregnant. But you were too breathless to do anything, too tired to care.
Alexander smiled and turned to Darius, who had an expression of fury. The conqueror had almost forgotten the former King.
''Now that I have taken your Empire and now your wife...'' Alexander smiled mischievously at Darius, ''The time has come to take your life so that I can marry your wife.''
The Macedonians loved to conquer what did not belong to them.
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radioisntdead · 8 months ago
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AHAHHAHAHSHSHHD I HAVE A REQUESTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT IF YOU DON'T MIND BUT CAN YOU DO A HUSBAND ALASTOR X CRYBABY READER
Good evening my dear! Indeed I can!
I'm on a songfic fix at the moment so hopefully you don't mind me turning this into one, if you do just let me know and I can write a proper oneshot, drabble or headcanons
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Crybaby
Warnings:
Murder, Alastor being weird, mild angst, OOC, the ending is a bit muddled because lack of motivation hit me like a TRUCK.
The song I chose for obvious reasons
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You seem to replace your brain with your heart, You take things so hard and then you fall apart
You always had what one would call a bleeding heart, tears would overflow at the slightest instance, you fell onto the ground? Tears, you saw a rabbit munching on a carrot? Tears fell because it was just SO cute, you sobbed as you stabbed a guy to death, blubbering out apologies saying you wouldn't have to do it if he had JUST kept his mouth shut and didn't say those awful, awful things.
You try to explain, but before you can start
You met Alastor when the two of you were alive, he was an aspiring radio host at the time and well, your father ran a rather popular radio station.
Those "Cry baby" tears come out of the dark
You were considered the favorite child, (or the only child depending on the route you go) and Alastor knew that, he wasn't above using people to climb up the social ladder.
Someone's turning the handle to that faucet in your eyes
Everything was planned out, like how the two of you met, he found out what places you frequented, choosing a cafe to be the place to run into you.
You had accidentally poured warm coffee on his clothes, you cried out apologies as you patted him dry with napkins, offering to pay for drycleaning.
You pour it out where everyone can see
And that was it, it started with him charming you, asking you out for coffee, lunch, dinners and eventually he had you hooked.
Your heart's too big for your body, it's why it won't fit inside
Him eventually catching feelings for you was just the icing on the cake, a bonus, you and him felt similarly to certain affections.
His mother quite liked you as well asking him to bring you by again when you met her the first time.
You pour it out where everyone can see
As the relationship grew, he became a prominent radio personality, eventually proposing to you leading to marriage.
They call you cry baby, cry baby
Alastor was supposed to be working late that night, you weren't expecting him to come home as you washed the blood off of your hands, blood stained the bathroom sink, dried tears leaving faint streaks on your face.
But you don't fucking care
"Mon étoile?"
You slowly turned around as if you were in a horror movie, the one person you didn't want to see you like this.
Cry baby, cry baby
You burst into tears falling onto the ground, not even trying to explain yourself, Alastor grinned and moved next to you, gently wiping away your tears taking silent joy from them.
So you laugh through your tears
You laughed as Alastor gave a light smooch onto your face.
Cry baby, cry baby
And that begun a new era of your relationship,
You'd act as bait luring in the folks you and Alastor felt like taking away their living privileges.
'Cause you don't fucking care
You lived like that for years, taking many lives, shedding many tears, a killer couple.
Tears fall to the ground
Unfortunately all good things come to an end.
You'll just let them drown
Alastor went to dispose of a body while you cleaned up the aftermath.
You'll just let them drown
The police showing up and breaking the news to you that your dearest Alastor was shot in the head and attacked by dogs shattered you.
Cry baby, cry baby
You spent your days crying, barely being able to organize a funeral that no one other then you attended, after all who would attend the funeral of a murderer.
You're all on your own and you lost all your friends
You were alone now, sure your family urged you to move back home, you were still a sweetheart with a bleeding heart to them, you just fell for Alastor's schemes, that no one saw coming.
You spent your days crying, clinging on to any remnants of Alastor, your social life took a huge hit.
You told yourself that it's not you, it's them
They whispered behind your back, theorizing if you were apart of the murders or not, if you knew, if you were truly innocent.
You're one of a kind and no one understands
You were found dead in your home, alone.
But those "Cry baby" tears keep coming back again
You woke up in hell, you knew you probably weren't going to heaven but still!
Someone's turning the handle to that faucet in your eyes
Tears swelled up in your eyes but you wiped them away before they could fall deciding to look around and assess your situation.
You pour it out where everyone can see
Wandering around you passed by a shop with a radio present in it, reminding you of your dear Alastor.
Your heart's too big for your body, it's why it won't fit inside
The tears started pouring, and before you could do anything else, someone touches your shoulder.
You pour it out where everyone can see
You've been down below for who knew how long now, bring found by Mimzy of all people, a good friend of yours, and Alastor's.
They call you cry baby, cry baby
Mimzy showed up at Alastor's home banging on the front door, you stood a few feet away from her, He opened it displeased at the sudden visit but he smiled wide nonetheless.
"Mimzy dear, pray tell why you are banging on my door at this unholy hour?" He asked, simply hearing his voice the waterworks began as Mimzy pulled you out from where you stood.
But you don't fucking care
Alastor's eyes ever so slightly widened, it hadn't been that long since he died, he suspected you would follow suit eventually but not this quickly.
Cry baby, cry baby
"I believe this one is yours, they've been crying on and off, it's driving me crazy" Mimzy said shoving you into Alastor as you grinned up at him through blurry eyes
So you laugh through your tears
"I missed you." You said as Alastor touched your face, brushing a claw over it, you, much like him and every other sinner looked different from when you were alive, you had permanent gold tear streaks stitched into your face, how ironic.
Cry baby, cry baby
Alastor simply grinned, wiping away a tear.
"You haven't changed a bit, Mon étoile."
'Cause you don't fucking care
"You can pay me back for reunitin' ya lovebirds later!"
Mimzy laughed before running off to do who knows what, making a swift exit for plot convenience.
Tears fall to the ground
And that was that, you were finally reunited.
You'll just let them drown
While Alastor was given the name of The Radio demon you were referred to as the Crying demon,
How original.
Cry baby, cry baby
While Alastor stuck fear with a smile, hearing you wail in the distance stuck fear into others, you'd apologize as you ripped sinners apart just like you did in life.
You'll just let them drown
You watched as Alastor developed a cannibalistic taste for sinners, he opted to bring you sinner hearts as a token of affection,
You teared up from how sweet the extremely messed up act was.
Cry baby, cry baby
You also watched as Alastor's personal hygiene got worse, to the point where you'd chase him down with a sponge and a bucket of water, or before bed with a toothbrush and some toothpaste.
Much to his chagrin he was never able to escape you chasing him.
You'll just let them drown
Alastor's more sadistic tendencies were revealed in full force, with him biting and pinching your cheeks just hard enough to make you cry.
It wasn't a deal breaker but it did weird you out at first.
I look at you and I see myself
Alastor brought you to the Hazbin hotel after Husk and Niffty were pulled from wherever,
You quickly gained an affection for the hotel and it's residents, Alastor may have been using the hotel for his own entertainment but you genuinely believed in Charlie's dream of redeeming sinners.
And I know you better than anyone else
Becoming another parental figure for the princess you showered her with advice and familial affection, saying if you had a child you'd want them to be just like her.
And I have the same faucet in my eyes
Vaggie wasn't spared from the parental affection either, Alastor might not have been fond of her but you were.
So your tears are mine
You eventually became like the hotels therapist, a very prone to crying therapist but a therapist none the less.
You and Charlie tended to cry together especially if the two of you decided to put a emotionally charged movie on for movie nights
They call me cry baby, cry baby
You cried when extermination day happened, taking out exorcists left and right, your tears were filled with anger as you witnessed what happened to Sir Pentious.
But I don't fucking care
You cried tears of joy when the hotel was rebuilt and when Alastor came back from wherever he was.
Cry baby, cry baby
"You are an complete and utter MORON,"
"Mon étoile, W̴̝̖͙̩̹̓͆̏͌̒̔̑͐̕h̶͔̲̄ă̵̟̥͙̥͖͚̋̍̓̓̇̕ţ̶̧͇̞̟͈͔͉̦͋̄͂̌́̉͗ ̸̛̟̖̰͛͐̂̌̃d̷͎͍̦̩̯̂̐̈́̒̇͜ͅï̷̙͎͙̱̲̾̓̓̂d̵̛̛̲̤̺̟͒̈́̽́̑̈́̈͜͠ ̴̬̥̱͓̊̒͛ȳ̶̢̢̛̛̘͓̱̱̭̩̣͈̈́̀͋͘͝ő̴͓̜̥̪͇͙͉̞̜ủ̴̢̖͙̞͈̳̈́̑̋̂̉̈ ̵̩̈́̋̂̾̓̎̌̕̚j̶̛̗̲͚͖̼̻̥͕̚ù̸̫̯̎s̷̛̹̠̠̰͇̬̟̤͖̃̋͋ť̵͇̹͕̞͌ ̵̢̹͖̯͆̀̽́̎̐̐̽̆̃c̴͍̼̤̓̉̃̒̕͠a̶͖̙̭͂͋̓l̸̢̧̨͙̯̹̯̱̳̏̈́̀l̷̡͖͉̟̼̳̹͙̏́̄̃͋ͅ ̶̧͓͍͑m̶̨̡̠̖͇̫͓̅̈́-̷̞̱̪͓̞̅̈́͊̇̎̐͝"
"Don't pull that radio demon bullshit with me right now Alastor! How hard was it to arm yourself? You aren't invincible to ANGELIC WEAPONS!"
You shouted at Alastor as you paced around your newly restored shared room, first aid kit open, bandages wrapped around, angry tears in your eyes.
If you were anyone else, you would be dead for rubbing salt into the still aching wound.
Alastor sighed and swung one leg over the other, crossing his arms intending to wait until your 'temper tantrum' was over.
I laugh through my tears
Normally he rather liked your tears, in a Alastor way, but they were annoying to him in this instance.
Cry baby, cry baby
You grabbed his face, locking your eyes with his,
"You could've died, You would've left me again."
"Dearest,"
"Al,"
"I won't leave you again."
"Promise?"
You asked dropping your hands from his face only for him to hold them in his hands.
"Promise."
'Cause I don't fucking care, Tears fall to the ground
With the hotel rebuilt, bigger, more grand then before, sinners began to trickle in.
Wanting to give redemption a shot,
Some wanted to see someone they knew that more then likely ended up going above, some had nothing left to lose, some just wanted to change, hating what they've become since they fell below.
I just let them drown, Cry baby, cry baby
You quite liked how things were developing, seeing Charlie's face light up when hotel residents improved, getting clean from addiction, proving to be better.
I just let them drown, Cry baby, cry baby
Alastor originally got involved in this place for his own entertainment or otherwise, bringing you with him, he didn't think that his darling crybaby of a wife would get attached.
But maybe he was getting attached too, not that he would ever admit it even to you.
You'll just let them drown, They call you cry baby, cry baby
You and Alastor sat comfortably on the couch in his radio tower, with you laying on his shoulder, his arm gingerly wrapped around you.
I just let them drown
"Al, look how cute they are!"
You said as you held your phone to Alastor, you had to remove a few qualities in order to keep the phone, you didn't mind since you mostly used it to communicate with the hotel residents or look at animal videos on the Internet anyways.
He simply hummed as he grimaced at the phone, you were trying to show him a group of hellborn kittens,
"We should get a cat,"
"We already have a cat."
"Husk doesn't count."
You said frowning as Alastor moved his hand to your cheek, pinching it until tears swelled up in your eyes.
Cry baby, cry baby
You were sobbing at the red creature you held in your arms,
"It's adorable!" You sobbed out holding the catlike creature that you found on the side of the road much to Alastor's displeasure you wanted a cat, and you got a cat thingy
"It looks like Alastor."
"Exactly!"
Alastor squinted at the cat thing you were crying with pride over, he would throw the damned thing out the window but unfortunately you were already attached, and he preferred you to cry over literally anything else other then the failed clone of his.
You'll just let them drown
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Good evening folks! Thanks for tuning in! I scheduled this for Saturday so that should mean this is the last of the songfics! [For now anyways] [post-post edit, I LIED THERE WILL BE MORE SONG FICS THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING]
I wanted to go more into how Alastor would probably enjoy the readers crying but it got a little too weird.
Have a wonderful weekend folks!
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irisintheafterglow · 1 month ago
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Hello, I have a request. So I have these lyrics brain rotting me and I just know you, with amazing writer skills, will be able to bring it to life. So, from The Prophecy, "Don't want money, just someone who wants my company" and like reader being lonely for a long time before meeting katsuki. I see reader as a very important part of the society, like not a hero, but more as a spy that can also fight (the Hero version of a fantasy assassin) And she is paired with Katsuki for a mission and he sees her in her true colours. Maybe a series? It's up to you, or course, but thank you for writing and being so talented and considering this request <33 Hope you have a great day!!
lowkey this request broke me in all the right ways omg...i love the prophecy so so so much it's so heartbreaking and definitely one of my favorites off ttpd <3 ty for your ask and all the love, hope you like this :)) so sorry that it took so long to get to and ty for your patience, i haven't had much time to write lately
cw: explicit language, implied fem!reader but no she/her pronouns (reader does wear heels), angst/fluff with happy ending, angry forced coworkers to lovers, bkg being lowkey mean but he's just psychoanalyzing you
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you liked the sparkle, to a certain extent.
it was nice to pad around in designer satin, your name embroidered in gold thread on the back tag. you could appreciate the crushed velvet sofas in the living room of your high-rise penthouse, the walls covered in abstract art gifted to you by painters whose names you don't remember. your closet was larger than your university dorm and lined with enough expensive fabrics to start a hospital. everything about your lifestyle screamed luxury, yet even a marble bathtub couldn't provide much comfort when you came home at two in the morning to a cold, lifeless apartment. tragic.
bound by contract, you weren't allowed to live with civilian roommates, and pro heroes looking for places to rent were as scarce as dust left behind by your cleaning crew. you figured it was better that way, not needing to explain to your roommate why you're gone for weeks at a time on assignments and coming back with several broken ribs and a staggering sum of money. instead of friends, you had your job, however dangerous it became sometimes. you were good at playing a character (it's why you had your current job in the first place) and made it look like you weren't lonely, but you'd be lying if there weren't times you were just begging the sky to send you...who? who do you even want? love was a foreign word, a privilege reserved for those not in your profession. so you withstand whatever life throws at you like a statue made to wait, constantly on the brink of crumbling.
it's mid-january when you receive the call informing you that you'd be working with a partner on your next assignment. you wrack your brain for the few people trustworthy enough to join you, only for the words to catch in your throat when your agent says they're assigning someone for you.
if you were bad at working with others, bakugo was unapologetically worse.
"could you walk any louder?" you hiss into his ear as you stroll through the lobby of the most luxurious hotel in the city. his bicep flexes under your fingers, something you can only perceive as him stiffening in annoyance. "your big-ass feet are gonna get us compromised before we even make it past the perimeter."
"i'm not trained for stealth, genius," he argues, adjusting his suit jacket with free arm for the fifth time in twelve seconds. "i usually go in, blast the shit out of people, and call it a day."
"well, your thundering steps are doing the opposite of helping us blend in," you reply bluntly with a pretty smile toward the concierge desk. "we're doing recon, not infil." you take an abrupt step to the right, simultaneously bumping bakugo in the hip and making him stumble. with the way you start to sway and lean into him, your perfume makes his brain go fuzzy and his ears pinker.
"what the fuck are you doing?"
"you are literally the funniest person i've ever met. i can't believe i fell in love with you, sweetie," you drawl, fluttering your eyelashes.
"what the hell is wrong with you?" he cringes away as you beam at him with a lovesick smile, one hand keeping him flush against your body while the other brushes the pant leg of a passing security guard.
"just play along, darling," you seethe through a fake smile. without taking your eyes off your partner's face, your prize finds itself between your fingers and you unbutton the keycard without blinking, bringing it to his chest and smoothly slipping it into bakugo's jacket pocket with the guard none the wiser. once you catch the guard round a corner behind you via the reflection of a gilded mirror, you drop your act and detach yourself from a very flushed bakugo. "yikes, you're worse at this than i thought you'd be," you deadpan.
"you-you just used me to get that guy's card," he sputters in pure disbelief while you continue to walk down the side hall in the direction of the bar and banquet room. "the hell is wrong with you?"
"i work alone, bakugo," you say boredly. your heels click against the glistening marble and you roll your eyes as his loud steps catch up to you.
"yeah, that much is obvious," he glowers. "we're supposed to be working together on this shit-"
"you are not my partner in this job. you are a tool." you have half the mind to think that your coldness was too harsh, but remember that working alone is what you're best at, for better or for worse. "look, i'll get the job done; you just sit there and watch so our agencies can get off our asses about this being done through 'official means.' got it?"
"you think you're good at being alone, but it's actually killing you," he states in a tone that barely echoes off the sparkling walls. "you think you're good at being alone, but what you think is the farthest thing from reality." if you weren't running four minutes behind schedule, you'd whirl on him and slap his pretty face. you settle for stamping his foot with your heel and he lets you, an ungratifying fuck you all you get as a reward.
"i should have told my agent that i'd quit if she made me work with someone else," you snap with your arms crossed as he fishes out the keycard from his jacket pocket. he gives you a look that enrages you further, something between loathing and sympathy.
"take my arm, for fuck's sake. let's get this over with so i don't have to deal with you and your self pity ever again," he snarls and, for the first time, he catches you off guard. you obey without a word, eyeing him warily while he swipes the keycard and guides you into the crime boss' exclusive campaign gala.
"you know nothing about me, so don't try to analyze me since i know it's not your strong suit," you mutter under the sound of blaring jazz trumpets, sidling past investor after investor as they chatter excitedly about the your target's recently announced run for mayor. "i've seen the leaks about you heroes' IQ scores."
"yeah, they were faked by some extra in the todoroki agency that wanted to undermine him. wanted to imply that he was a nepo baby or some shit like that," bakugo replies without missing a beat and you're barely able to detect any malice in his answer. it confuses you. shouldn't he be pissed that you just insulted his intelligence? "icy-hot's one of the smartest guys i've met, so don't you fucking dare discredit him for one second." he's angry that you insulted...a different hero?
"that doesn't change the fact that you don't know shit about what i do," you dodge, spotting your target at a table near the banner-flanked main stage. he's surrounded by a dozen women who fawn on him like moths to a fire, caressing whatever body part they can get their hands on. it's exactly the scenario you need to bypass his defenses. "there, 3 o'clock. he's got his harem with him."
"so what's your play, lone wolf?"
"dance me toward him and then get out of my way," you order, dragging him onto the dance floor while the jazz band in the corner eases into a mellower tune. "what, got two left feet?"
"no, i'm just trying to figure out why you are the way you are," he questions, slipping one arm around your waist while his hand intertwines with yours.
"don't go hurting that handsome head of yours," you reply coldly without thinking, suddenly feeling your ears go hot when he smirks. "what?"
"nothing. 's just funny when you actually act human rather than the killing machine you were made to be," he admits and your jaw clenches.
"again, you know absolutely nothing about me." you subtly try to move your dancing bodies toward the crime boss' table, but meet bakugo's eyes with a glare when he actively spins you in the opposite direction. "we should be going that way, idiot."
"what if i wanna keep dancing with you, idiot," he retorts. "now," he takes a deep inhale, "i'm gonna tell you exactly what i think you are so maybe your next partner doesn't have to dig into your ass and get your head out of it."
"you are putting this whole operation in jeopardy--"
"don't care, especially if i'm being told by a self-pitying, pathetic excuse for a public servant who hides themselves away because they're too scared to make human connections," he rants, looking you directly in the eyes so you could see just how molten they were.
"stop," you warn, looking for any excuse to go in on your target so you could get out of the spotlight that bakugo was putting on you. he doesn't let you, though, effortlessly dipping you in a way that outsiders could consider flirtatious. it's an unfamiliar sensation, your spine curved under his steady hands, but all you can register is the intensity of his expression inches away from yours.
"you hide behind your callousness and say you don't need anyone fucking else because you've never had anyone else. and then, one day, when someone comes along who actually wants to know you for you, you're gonna be too much of a little bitch to realize that there are people who care about you. even if you are the most irritating being to call themselves human." he abruptly stands you both up and steps back, both of you burning and withstanding each other's wrath. your voice is smaller than you want it to be when you finally manage to speak.
"how would you know any of that?"
"because i was that." his attention flicks to behind you, toward the boss' table. "now would be your best chance. i'll sit at the bar and you finish the job, alone."
"...alone?"
"that's what you want, isn't it?"
no. i don't want it.
you don't catch him in time, some shackle like pride chaining you to the floor. it doesn't feel like relief, you realize when he turns to leave and disappears into the crowd. it feels like a punishment, an unbreakable curse that you'd put on yourself. you were a fool in a fable and it was sinking in, even as you worm the information you need out of your target and slip out of a back window, alone.
always alone.
---
it's not until ten months after your initial mission with bakugo that you finally work up the courage to tell off your agent.
"you have no place to be making such demands!" you lean away unbothered while your agent screams, her anger distorted by your phone speaker. "you have no idea how to--"
"don't care. i'm done working alone in the shadows," you interrupt with the callousness that once benefited you in your job. now, you realize, it was only impeding you and making it harder to find people who saw you as a human, not a tool. "put me in the infil mission or i'm quitting. for good."
"you don't know anything about infil. they'll eat you for breakfast if you join the op now," she hisses. "you need me."
"you made me think i needed you. you and the sparkle, and the fancy pajamas, and the smelly bath salts. you made me think that, to keep all the nice shit, i needed to be alone. but now i know i don't need to be."
"how would you know anything--"
"i know that you've purposefully delayed the infil operation so that you can cover up your ties to the boss' campaign, and that you sent me in with bakugo that night thinking i'd take the fall for your corruption. too bad he caught on and helped me investigate the todoroki IQ files you gave me and said they were official leaks."
"you're making a big mistake."
"and you should have learned sooner that i don't want the money. i never did."
"bullshit. money is all we have in this hero-run society, the only way we can be equal to them. what else would you want?"
"company." your agent falls silent at the same moment you hear a faint knocking on her line. "speaking of, looks like you have some." the tell-tale beep beep beep! of the call being ended echoes off the walls of the apartment and you sink further into the plush couch cushions, counting down leisurely on your fingers.
five,
four,
three,
two,
one.
"got her, babe!" you hear from down the hall. "and we got her good," katsuki says as he appears from your shared bedroom and grins at you. he leans against the door frame, waiting patiently as you delete your ex-agent's number from your contact list and show him the phone. "i ever tell you you're a natural at getting confessions out of people?" you giggle and let him pad over to you on the couch, sliding down so that he could lie his entire body on top of yours. even after all the time he'd been with you, the skin to skin contact still made your stomach burst into uncontrollable butterflies.
"i guess it comes with being a spy for so long," you suppose with a shrug. "but i'm not one anymore." your fingers absentmindedly trace the creases of back muscle through his shirt and he hums like a cat purring contentedly.
"yep, and now you're stuck with me until one of us dies in combat." you click your tongue with a tsk and lightly pinch his side, feeling him snort in triumph against your sternum.
"why can't you just say you love me like a normal person?"
"because neither of us are normal, genius," he explains, his eyes shut against your chest. "how normal is it to be so lonely that when you're around another lonely person, your shit cancels out?"
"i guess not that normal," you concede. "but still...what do i do now?"
"as much as i wanna say it, i don't think 'me' is the correct answer," katsuki proposes and you burst out laughing. "but really? anything you wanna do, baby. your hand's off the throttle, so now you're just cruising."
"since when did you use so many metaphors?" you ask with a teasing smile. "last week you said 'lightning in a bottle' and 'cursed like eve.'"
"since i met your dramatic ass."
"you know you love me."
"mmm, now you're finally starting to get it."
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doberbutts · 11 months ago
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I remember reading a post that men are the oppressor class so why would they bother to dismantle systemic patriarchy when they actively benefit from its existence? And as I read it, I thought, Damn, so an entire half of the population can never conceivably help us, and the people who love men in their lives are doomed. It wasn't a helpful post. It basically felt, here's some actual material analysis on feminism and said, That trying to educate and make men be part of feminism is fundamentally a flawed effort, because again, they are the oppressor class, why should they care about uplifting the oppressed?
And it made me think about this very good pamphlet I read, explaining how the white worker remained complacent for so long because at least they weren't a Black slave. And that the author theorized the reason labor movements never truly created exceptional, radical change is because of internal racism (which I find true) and failure to uplift black people. And the author listed common outlooks/approaches to this problem, and one of them was: "We should ignore the white folks entirely and hold solidarity with only other POC, and the countries in the Global South. Who needs those wishy-washy white fragile leftists who don't care about what we think or want?" (roughly paraphrased.)
And the author said, This sounds like the most leftist and radical position, but it's totally flawed because it absolves us of our responsibility to dismantle white supremacy for the sake of our fellow marginalized people, and we are basically ignoring the problem. And that blew me away because this is a position so many activists have, to just ignore the white folks and focus entirely on our own movements. I wish I knew the name of the actual pamphlet, so I could quote entire passages at you.
But I feel this is the same for men. Obviously, we should prioritize and have women-led and women-focused feminism. But saying that men are an oppressor class so they can't reliably be counted upon in feminist activism--it's such a huge oversimplification. And mainly, I'm a Muslim, and I've been treated with plenty of misogyny from Muslim men. And also plenty of misogyny from Muslim women. And I love my male friends, I want men to be part of the movement, and I dunno. Thinking about communities, movements, and the various ways we fail each other and what it means to be truly intersectional keeps me up at night.
I don't know the pamphlet you're talking about but I've read and been taught similar. There's a reason much of my anti-racism is so feminist and most of my feminism is anti-racist. Many people coming at this problem from a truly intersectional angle have seen that there is no freedom to be had without joining hands across the community. Not picking and choosing our allies based off of identity but off of behavior.
As used in a previous example, a white abled moderately wealthy man saying "wow Healthcare sucks in this country, why does this system suck so bad" should be told "hey, this system sucks so bad because it's built off of sexism, racism, classism, and ableism. You want to improve the system? Fix those things and it will be much better in the long run" and not "shut up you're a man. Healthcare is always going to be better for you". The second response doesn't fix that Healthcare is still a problem even if you are at the "top" of the privilege ladder. If we want true change, we have to dismantle the entire system at it's core and build it up without the yuck, otherwise you're gunna get to the top and realize this place sucks too.
Something something if the crabs worked together to hold each other up, they could all get out of the bucket and be free.
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