#and I just… want this story to exist so I will KEEP WRITING I want this scenario so bad
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It's a Love Story - Chapter 6
Summary:
Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.
Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.
And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.
Warning:
DEFINETLY NSFW! Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible.
If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.
For somebody that filled her romance novels with plenty of smut… Sky wasn’t exactly as experienced as one may expected.
Actually…she was woefully inexperienced.
There had been Admon…and Admon it had been.
The rest of the stuff in her books…well, that was just her fantasy wildly spinning stories about how sex should feel. Informed by plenty of books she had read, other authors, and of course…there were the two people that got to read every book she wrote before it was published: Orla, her publisher, and her friend Ressina, who was nice enough to take the pen to every thing she wrote that was woefully inaccurate.
Because nothing ever felt to her like she portrayed it in the books.
Maybe that was normal. Maybe it was because of course her books portrayed something…better than reality, an escape from it. But still…sometimes Sky had just wondered…
As Azriel carried her towards the bedroom, Sky couldn’t help but feel a flutter of nervousness in her stomach. It wasn’t that she didn’t want this, she did, more than anything. But the truth was, she was…nervous.
She had written about this moment countless times, had described it in vivid detail in her novels. But now that it was actually happening, she felt…insecure. What if it wasn’t as good in real life as she made it out to be on paper? What if she did disappoint him?
(Sky knew that she had disappointed Admon numerous times…that she seemingly had never been enough for him…had been so bad at it in fact that he had instead slept with her sister…which was a whole other kettle of fish that she really didn’t want ot think to close about right now.)
Sky tried to push those thoughts aside, to focus on the here and now.
Azriel was here with her, he wanted her just as much as she wanted him. She could feel it in the way he held her, the way he looked at her. And yet, that nagging feeling of doubt still lingered.
And then there was the fact while he had admitted to sending his shadows to search for her… Sky was still keeping a rather big secret.
“Az…Azriel…” she said hesitantly. “There…there is one thing you should know about me.”
Azriel paused, setting Sky down on the bed gently before turning to look at her.
"Go on," he prompted her gently, taking her hand in his as he sat down next to her and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You can tell me anything, Sky." She believed him. he wouldn’t judge her. She was sure of that as well.
“You…You k…know how…how I…I write… ro…romance no..novels?” Sky asked him, biting her lip.
Azriel nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Yes, I do," he said, leaning in closer to her. "You told me.”
“I…I am Sellyn Drake,” she blurted out.
She had never outright admitted it to another person.
Ressina had been the one who had send off her first manuscript to be published…and Orla had met with her…these were the two people in existence that knew that Skylar Alden was also Sellyn Drake. And Skylar had always been comfortable with keeping it that way.
There was no need to tell anybody else.
Which was why it worked so well, that Ressina was an artist and could paint the bookcovers for her. No need whatsoever to let anybody else see the hesitant first drafts until she was sure this was where she wanted to go. Just Ressina. Just one of her very few friends. If not her only.
Azriel stared at her, his eyes widening in surprise. "What?" he asked, completely taken aback. "You're...Sellyn Drake?" There was no…outright disbelief in his voice, just shock.
*We know! We made Master read your books!* the shadows cooed. *Lady Death, The Priestess and The Shopkeeper love them too!*
She had no idea who any of these people were but…
Azriel's eyes widened even further as the shadows spoke up. "You...you knew about this?" he asked them, turning towards the shadows in disbelief. "You knew. That’s why you gave me her books to read!”
This was just getting better and better.
Sky, who had been watching Azriel and the shadows’ exchange with a mixture of nervousness and embarrassment, couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
“Do…Do they always…” she couldn’t even put it into words.
Azriel sighed. “They like to meddle,” he said darkly. “And this time they were particularly persistent.” He shot a reproachful look at the shadows, who cowered a little under his gaze. "I won't lie, they did manipulate me into reading your books. And when my shadows do something they are rather...convincing."
She swallowed.
“Did…did you…li…like them at…at least?” Sky asked hesitantly.
Azriel hesitated for a moment before answering.
"I...I did," he admitted earnestly. "Your writing...it's brilliant, Sky.” Her heart soared at his words. She treasured them, hoarding them away like a dragon. But he wasn’t done. “The characters, the emotions, the way you make the reader feel everything...it's incredible. I couldn't put them down."
Sky grinned at his words, feeling a swell of pride in her chest. "I…I'm glad you..you li…liked them," she said softly.
*Master especially liked the…*
“Shut. Up.” Azriel snapped, his ears reddening and Sky started laughing. She could just about imagine what the shadows wanted to tell her at that moment.
Azriel groaned, burying his face in his hands. "I'm going to kill them," he muttered under his breath.
"They…they are ju…just try…trying to help you, aren't they?" she asked softly, squeezing his hand in hers. Only now she noticed the violent scars that marred them, the texture of raised and bumpy skin…but she didn’t care. Not one bit.
*Of course, we are,* the shadows said, like any other idea was simply blasphemous. *We gave Master the best information we could. So that Master would know what you like.*
Sky probably shouldn't find it as adorable as she did. But the lengths they had gone to...the way they had made Azriel read her books so that he would know what she liked...nobody in her life had ever gone to these lengths just to find out what she liked.
"I swear I am not a total creep," Azriel told her with a grimace.
Sky laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. "No…no, no, you're not," she assured him, squeezing his, hands gently. "I…I ac…actually think it's… quite… sweet. In a weird, sli…slightly invasive kind of way. But sweet nonetheless."
"I think you are the only female that could possible think that," Azriel muttered, glaring at the shadows that didn't seem apologetic in the slightest.
Sky grinned, leaning in closer to him. "It’s… endearing,” she finally settled on. “Maybe even a lit…little bit charming," she promised him earnestly.
Azriel looked at her incredulously, his expression softening a little. "You're not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?" he asked her.
Sky shook her head. "No. No, I'm not," she said, her voice unwavering. "I…I mean it, Azriel. It iss actually really sweet that you would go to… such lengths just to try to un…understand me better. And you ad…admitted to it. And not just after the mating bond was accepted but within hours of meeting me."
Azriel didn't keep it a secret, even when he could have, and she would have been none the wiser.
"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you. But I'm not going to question it," he whispered.
She swallowed. That's what she was thinking. The exact same words.
Sky pulled him down, letting his forehead rest against hers.
"I know that...that I am supposed to cook you something...but how disappointed would you be if I gave you one of those caramel bonbons in my purse to accept the bond instead?" she asked him softly, meeting his gaze.
His eyes widened and he stared at her in pure, undiluted wonder.
"I could not possible be dissappointed by whatever you offered me," Azriel whispered. "But...are you...are you sure?"
"I am being utterly selfish," she whispered. "Yes. I want you." She didn't care that people would have thoughts about it...that she was rushing into this.
They were probably right.
But Sky really didn't care. Sky only wanted him. Sky was ready to throw caution overboard and rush into this headfirst without a thought about the consequences, if that meant that she would get her mate.
"Then let's be selfish together," Azriel whispered.
With shaky hands she reached into her purse, finding one of the caramel bonbon she kept in there...unwrapped it out of the paper and then...then she offered it to him, lifting it to his lips.
Azriel looked at the bonbon, then at her, and for a moment she thought he would say something. But then his mouth opened and he took it from her hand... He chewed it, swallowing carefully, his gaze never wavering from hers. For a moment, they stayed suspended in that moment of tension, the only sound their breathing. And then, he leaned in, closing the distance between them, and kissed her as if she was the most precious thing in his entire world.
A Mating Frenzy had always been protrayed as animalistic in every book she read. So of course, Sky had written the exact same thing.
But it wasn't...not really.
Not for them.
And being with Azriel was also a far cry from being with Admon...mostly because then it had often been...embarrassing and painful.
Admon had always found something to criticise on her body...foreplay had been nonexistent, even when she had tried...and while he had been more than willing to use her mouth to find his own pleasure he had never returned that favour.
With Azriel it was different. Every touch, every caress, every kiss made her feel things she had never felt before. It was like her body was coming alive for the first time.
All her senses were heightened, every nerve in her body singing with pleasure, and Sky couldn't get enough of him. She wanted more. No, she needed more. As Azriel trailed kisses down her throat, she arched her back, pressing herself against him, her hands roaming over his body, exploring every inch of him that she could reach.
"Can I...Can I touch your wings?" she asked breathlessly, not wanting to...cross some unsaid line.
"Please," Azriel breathed out. "Yes, Sky, please." He lifted his wings, extending them out behind him, giving her free rein to touch and explore to her heart's content. As Sky's fingers brushed against the contours of his wings, Azriel let out a low, guttural moan, his wings twitching and shuddering at the sensation. They were massive and pitch black.
"They are beautiful," she whispered, running her hands over the silky black skin, feeling the warmth radiating from them.
He shuddered at her touch, his wings arching and trembling beneath her gentle caress. he leaned his forehead against hers as he gently tipped her back against the bed and she went willingly, wrapping her hands over the gleaming talons at the tip of his wings as she kissed him.
Azriel growled softly in response, his hands sliding up beneath her dress, opening the lacing in one fluid motion. As the dress fell open, revealing her body beneath, Azriel pulled back for a moment, looking down at her with dark, hungry eyes. "You are so beautiful," he breathed, his gaze roaming over her body.
She didn't even have the time to feel self-conscious, not when she was drowning in the waves of desire that shot across their bond from him. Not when her whole body seemingly trembled against his and she kissed him again, opening her mouth to his tongue.
He slipped open the dress and she opened her mouth, halfway ready to tell him how he could get the corset she wore off, but he already opened the lacing. "Why?" he asked her softly, as he saw the red indents left on her body, and she grimaced.
"Claire," she whispered.
She wore corsets usually for support, because her breast could get heavy and painful without the proper support...but she never laced them as tightly as she did when she saw her family. Or her sister. Then she pulled them tight, trying to squash her body to be something…something her family could stomach, something they maybe wouldn't comment on...she always failed.
Azriel hissed softly, his fingers lightly tracing the red marks on her skin. She knew that they looked horrible, and yet he looked...angered? Almost furious. His expression softened as he looked back into her eyes, his fingers gently tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "Why would you do something like that to yourself, Sky?" he murmured, his eyes searching hers. "You are beautiful. You don't need to change anything about your body." He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to a particularly hard imprint the corset had left.
Sky swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in her throat as emotion welled up in her chest. No one had ever said something like that to her, had ever made her feel like she was good enough just the way she was. She opened her mouth, trying to speak, but no words came out. Instead, she just nodded, feeling a single tear slip down her cheek. Azriel wiped it away with his thumb, his other hand coming up to cup her face tenderly.
"You are perfect," he whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Just the way you are. Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. Not even your family." Sky leaned into his touch, closing her eyes and just focusing on the closeness, the warmth, the feeling of being cherished and protected.
With every word he spoke, she felt a weight lifting off her shoulders, her fears and insecurities melting away. She realized that maybe, just maybe, she had found someone who truly saw her, the real her. Who accepted her exactly as she was, flaws and all.
It was so easy to sink into that. So easy to trust him. So easy to just kiss him, as she pushed the shirt he wore over his shoulders...to feel acres of gold skin, dotted with scars and dark markings...to bare him for her view and see how utterly gorgeous her mate was.
He growled softy as she ran her hand down his chest, tracing the scars that marked his skin. His body was a tapestry of pain and survival, yet she wasn't deterred. She only found him more beautiful for it.
"Mine," she whispered, pressing her lips to his chest, to one particularly nasty scar. "All mine." She could feel his heart pounding beneath her lips, the steady beat matching the rhythm of her own heartbeat. Her hands trailed down his chest, his stomach, until she reached the waistband of his trousers.
It was so easy.
So easy, to shed clothing until they were bare...so easy to press against him and feel warm, perfect skin...so easy to relax underneath him as he stretched over her...so easy to simply cup his face as she kissed him...as her legs wrapped around his hips and he groaned and she whimpered as she felt him...hot and hard and huge, pressing against her...She was dripping wet without him even laying as single finger on her beneath the waist.
Azriel didn't look unaffected, his breath coming in ragged pants, his eyes fixed on hers as they were blown wide and dark with want. He didn't move, didn't kiss her, didn't pull her closer. He only waited. Waited for her.
"I need you," she whimpered. "Please. Please, Az." He let out a sound somewhere between a groan and a growl, his hips rocking gently against her, teasing them both with the heat and friction between them.
Nothing hurt. Nothing ever even threatened to hurt...Even as she could feel him notch against her there...even when she could feel herself lewdly stretched open on his cock...
It was so soft and gentle and sweet and…
It was everything Sky had ever wanted.
Not the rough kind of fucking...not the animalistic coupling she wrote half the time...but she had wanted this. She had wanted sweetness and adoration and...love...and to be wrapped up in her mate's arms like she was a precious, precious thing. She had wanted whispered praised against her skin and to be touched like she mattered...
"Sky," he whispered, his hands running up her side, his touch was soft and soothing, worshipping her body. He kissed her, slowly, deeply, and there was something...almost overwhelming about it.
About the way he made her feel. The way he made her feel loved and adored. The way he made her feel cherished. Her hands wandered up to his back, tracing the muscles shifting beneath scarred, scarred skin.
She could feel him trembling, feel the tension in his body as he held himself back, but still, he moved in slow and gentle thrusts, taking his time. He worshipped her - every little gasp and moan, every curve of her body. He traced her shape with his fingertips and lips, exploring her as though he was trying to memorize every inch of her body.
She didn't know how long they stayed that way, their bodies as one, but Sky didn't care. She was surrounded by him - the heat of his skin, the sound of his breath, the way he whispered her name like a prayer. Sky could feel the love and devotion pouring through the bond, washing over her in waves, and she knew that this was exactly where she was meant to be. With him, in his arms, completely and utterly whole.
It nearly came as a shock as she came.
A breathless moan fell from her lips as her orgasm rushed over her, her body arching as she called out his name. He kissed her through it, murmuring praise against her lips as he held her close, his own release following soon after.
They stayed there for a moment, tangled together, both of them breathless and sated. Azriel's wings slowly wrapped around them, cocooning them in a warm, protective embrace that made Sky feel safe and cherished in a way she had never experienced before.
***
There was not one inch of his mate's body that wasn't utterly beautiful. From the tips of her arched ears, to her beautiful eyes...to the swell of her breasts and the dip of her waist and the soft flesh of her belly and the flare of her hips...she smelled so good too...especially now that their scents had started to mix, and he could breath in caramel and hazelnuts and cedars and the sweet, beautiful scent of happiness as she laid underneath him. His head was bedded on her stomach, as she drew short fingernails through his messy dark hair. He nearly wanted to start to purr as she scratched at his scalp.
Azriel felt...content.
More content than he ever remembered feeling. He was wrapped up in her, his mate, with her gentle hands in his hair, and he felt utterly and completely at peace. He didn't care if they never moved from that bed again. He didn't care if the world outside their little cocoon burned. So long as she was by his side, he was content. He had never felt like this before. He had never felt this...happy. This...whole.
"I need to go feed Hector," Sky told him softly, trailing her fingers through his hair.
"Can I just have the shadows kidnap him and bring him here?" he asked, not wanting to move.
"You can't go kidnapping my cat, Az," she chided him gently, but even as she said the words, she didn't stop drawing her fingers through his hair, and Azriel didn't move. He was far too comfortable.
"Why not?" he complained.
"You'll terrify him," she said with a laugh. "Besides, do you have cat food here?"
"I'll have the shadows find some Tuna," he mumbled.
"Do…Do they just ac…acquire whatever you tell them to?" she asked him with some amusement.
And lots of things he didn't tell them to, as well. They thought he didn’t know.
Azriel raised himself on his forearms, looking down at Sky with a glint in his eye. "You have no idea how many things I've acquired that way," he told her with a grin.
She lifted her hands, cupping his cheeks and pulling him down towards her, resting her forehead against his. "You're a menace," she murmured against his lips.
"Your menace," he replied, kissing her softly.
Sky smiled, a warm, slow curve of her lips that made his chest feel tight. "Mine," she agreed, her voice soft. "But no kidnap…kidnapping my cat. He's at home."
"We could make this our home," he protested softly. "Move in with me."
Azriel had no fucking clue what was even coming over him. They should have slowed down, stopped to think...but neither of them seemed to want to.
They just…they seemed utterly content to crash through what other people considered a normal timeline and just be together right now.
He just wanted to be near her. He wanted to share a life with her, a home. He wanted to curl up with her in front of the fire on a cold winter's night, and spend lazy Sunday mornings in bed with her. He wanted to take her flying, and watch as she wrote and listened to her read the words she wrote.
And he wanted - Gods, he wanted her to want that too. He held his breath as he waited for her response.
For a moment, she was silent, and Azriel wondered if he had stepped too far, asked too much too soon.
But then, Sky smiled again, her eyes sparkling with emotions.
"...Al…Alright," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'll…I’ll move in with you."
Azriel couldn't help but grin as he pressed his forehead to hers. "Really? You mean it?" he asked, still unable to believe his ears.
"Really," she echoed with a laugh, before her expression turned serious. "But I…I have one co…condition."
Azriel raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. "What is it?"
"If I move in with you..." she began, wrapping her arms around his neck. "All my books need to come to," she told him seriously.
Azriel laughed, leaning back in to kiss her softly. "All your books can come, if that's what you want," he said. "As long as you're here, I don't care what else you bring."
And then the shadows unceremoniously dumped a screeching demon on the bed with them.
Sky let out a surprised yelp as Hector landed next to them with a thud, quickly scrambling away from the cat - and from under Azriel's weight. Azriel, for his part, sprang up, his wings flaring out in alarm. For several long moments, the three of them just stared at each other. Hector, his mismatched eyes glowing, his fur puffed up to twice it’s normal size, and Sky, her expression a mixture of surprise and affection as she looked at her pet. Finally, she cleared her throat. "Well, that's one way to introduce the two of you. Az, meet Hector."
...Gods, the shadows had really not been lying when they said that the cat was the ugliest thing they had ever seen.
Azriel slowly lowered his wings, eyeing the creature that was half-cat and half-demon. "He...looks like he wants to kill me," he said slowly.
Sky laughed, reaching out to scratch Hector's head. "He's just grumpy because he got teleported here so suddenly," she told him. "And he's not used to strangers." Hector's fur slowly flattened, and he began to purr, rubbing his head against Sky's hand. "Besides, he'd never hurt anyone," she added, looking up at Azriel with a smile.
Somehow Azriel highly doubted that.
Sky picked Hector up, cradling the cat in her arms as his purring grew louder. "See? He's not so bad," she told Azriel, moving towards him, and Azriel had to resist the urge to back away. "Hold out your hand, let him sniff you. He just needs to get used to you."
Azriel hesitantly held out his hand, trying his best to ignore the way Hector's eyes seemed to glow with an eerie light. After a moment, Hector moved forward, sniffing at Azriel's hand. Azriel felt the soft brush of whiskers against the palm of his hand, and Hector nudged his head against him, purring louder.
"See, he loves you!" Sky said enthusiastically
Azriel let out a laugh, slowly scratching the top of Hector's head. "I think he's just trying to lull me into a false sense of security before he scratches my eyes out, you know."
She rolled her eyes, "You are the most handsome cat I know," she cooed at him. "And you won't ever scratch out Azriel's eyes. No, you won't.”
Azriel would not quite go as far as describe the cat as handsome...but then...his own scarred hands weren't particularly beautiful either.
So Hector and him had that in common.
And the fact that they both wanted to cuddle with Sky. Actually, he was pretty sure that the cat hated him just for taking away his monopoly on that.
But Azriel would have shared a house with the King of Hybern if that meant that he got to have Sky in his bed.
She smiled at him, her eyes warm and adoring. "I knew you two would hit it off," she said, holding Hector in the crook of her arm. The cat stared at Azriel for a moment, as if sizing him up, before leaping off Sky's lap and disappearing under the bed with a soft patter of paws. "He'll warm up to you eventually," Sky assured him, but Azriel wasn't so sure about that.
He pulled Sky in closer to him, slipping back underneath the sheets with her, kissing her forehead. "I'll win him over, eventually," he promised her. At least, he hoped he would - he didn't particularly enjoy the idea of having to wake up with his throat being sliced open by an angry cat.
He would buy that damn cat all the Tuna in the world if that made Sky happy.
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I need more of the Jason Todd wife’s story cause you ATEEEE
Jason Broke What??
Pairing: Jason Todd X Female! Reader
Summary: Dick played stupid games and won stupid prizes, but at least he got to see his sister in law’s ass.
Warning: 18+, NSFW CONTENT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, Not Proofread . Female Pronouns and Anatomy, Dirty talk, Degeragtion/Praise, Violence Against Richard Grayson, Smut, Fluff, Comedy, P in V, Illusions to Anal (fem receiving), Voyeurism, Oral (p and a) (fem receiving), Fingering (fem receiving), Implied Heavy Petting, Nonconsensual Peeping Tom, Masturbation, and plot twist.
A/N: Part 3 to Jason’s Girl?? And Jason’s Wife?! . And again, I'm sorry to keep harassing you Pookie, @jjenthusee, but I feel its only right that you be tagged in the conclusion of this trilogy because you started all of this.
A/N: IM BACK, BABES! You miss me? I miss you all. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers during my break to take care of my family. Also if this fic seems rough, I was writing this in my car during break. Also, I know one of my big no-nos is accepting requests for full fanfics but I had an idea and if the masses want to see more of Dick's misery then I wanna feed yall.
*******************************************************
The holidays were everyone’s favorite time of the year. Especially Bruce and Alfred’s. Surprisingly, Bruce developed a love for them later in his adult life due to his years of constantly having to play Santa to his growing hoard of sidekicks. Now with a manor full of teens and children from multiple different backgrounds and cultures, Alfred proposes a family trip to their private ski resort.
Everything was going smoothly. Tim, Bernard, and Stephane were enjoying ice skating along the frozen lake while Duke, Cass, and Damian were skiing down large hills and mountains trying to out do the other. Bruce and Selina were of course mostly confined to their bedroom, only venturing out for a dinner date or to spend time with the family, while Alfred enjoyed taking a break from everyone doing whatever he delighted himself in doing.
Everyone was happy..
Except for Dick. This year was one of the worst for him. Kori started officially dating Roy Harper after some mission she was involved in with the Outlaws and Barbra didn’t want to see him anymore. And to make matters worse, Jason and his wife of a year were all over each other.
Dick couldn’t even do anything without his brother being there, unintentionally rubbing his healthy love life in his face.
Wanted to go skiing? Jason was already there. His large hands were sturdy on (Y/N)'s back as he was showing her as she was balancing on a snowboard. Her curves were highlighted in the snow by her red snowsuit that just so happened to match Jason's black and red suit. Her eyes light up through her snow goggles as she successfully maneuvers around the terrain with Jason's loud praises.
Wanted to go ice skating? The Todds were already there stumbling over each other as Jason's normally composed stance wavers in his ice skates as his blushing wife giggles and helps him slowly adjust to the new feeling of unease. For a viglieante, he certainly didn't skate like one. Dick wasn't exactly fond of witnessing his younger brother purposefully comp a feel of (Y/N)'s perky ass as he 'stumbles' into her.
Even relaxing in the main room of the huge million dollar cabin was impossible as the moment the moon shines bright in the sky or the sun barely kisses their existence, Jason and (Y/N) were so domestically in tune with the room. It was almost like witnessing a Hallmark movie.
The couple would be in the kitchen with Jason preparing a simple soup with her propped up on the counter, ready to taste the soup when he offered her the wooden spoon. A mischievous glint in her eyes as she looked up into his own as she hums at the taste. Dick nearly cringes when he witnesses Jason's sideways smirk as he flexes his hand on her hip.
Sometimes the couple would be sitting on the sofa near the fire. A thick wool blanket wrapped around them as they relaxed into each other. Dick tries not to acknowledge them. Not to recognize the softness of Jason's features as he lazily enjoys his wife's nails lightly scratching his scalp. Not to recognize her plump lips curving deeper as the blanket shifts slightly and Jason's hand caresses her thigh higher than he should. It was especially bad when they would whisper into each other's ears before the pair would hurrily go to their room in a whisper of an excuse of faux exhaustion before giggling as they lock themselves away.
Thankfully, they did those sinful acts of love away from Dick at least. .. Or so he thought.... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It was a skiing accident that started the whole ordeal.
The Bat family had been skiing down the steepest hill they could find out of Stephanie and Damian's petty competition that everyone decided to get involved in. The only members that weren't there were Alfred, who demanded that none of the family ever mention putting him in skiis anywhere near his presence, and the Todds.
Much to Dick's relief, (Y/N) was feeling a bit nauseous and decided to stay behind along with the concerned Red Hood.
Unfortunately, the friendly competition took a turn when Dick accidentally sleds over a rock which caused him to fly off his skis and tumble down the hill. The fiery ache in his arm gave the acrobat a headache as he desperately hoped he didn't break his arm in a lame skiing accident.
"Son of a bitch!" He curses as Bruce skies down to check on him.
"Are you alright?" His adoptive father asks as he carefully helps him up. Dick's eye watering as he jerks his injured arm away from Bruce as he accidentally brushes against it.
Bruce notices the jerk and immediately takes the arm in a gentle grasp as he clinically flexes and prodes at the appendage. Dick nearly cursing as Selina and Damian come down to check on him.
"I don't think its anything too serious," Bruce says as he pulls away. "At worst, you probably have a hairline fracture in it. Alfred would have to check it out just to make sure."
Selina, acting as the pseudo- stepmother figure she was, gently places a hand on Dick's shoulder as she ask, "Do you need me to drop you off at the cabin?"
The eldest son shakes his head before grumbling, "I can make it back on my own. I could use some alone time anyway."
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Unfortunately, Dick doesn't find Alfred when he comes back to the cabin after walking back in the cold snow. Only a note reading,
'I've gone to an event at the main resort tonight. Please contact me through the main resort hotline and I promise to get back to you- Alfred'
"Fucking great..." Dick groans as he decides to just head to bed. His body aches from the trauma of the fall as he drags his feet up the large staircase and up to the main hallway towards the suites bedrooms. It wasn't until a faint but familiar sound that caused the fatigue in him to melt.
The familiar sound of breathlessness that he had only heard one angel sing before. (Y/N)...
As he discreetly walked down the hallway, the melody of whines and moans filled his ears along with the familiar sounds of slurping and squelching.
The cracked door to Pandora's Box calling to him as he hears the whimpers of, "Fuck, baby...."
"Ah not there! Its so embarrassing...."
"Jason, more..."
Dick peers into the door to see something that he wished he could snap a picture of and keep forever just like he did those videos.
Sprawled out on the bed was her in all of her glory. Her skin glowing in perspiration and pleasure as she lays with her cheek pressed against the mattress with her round globes of flesh in the air. Her eyes clouded with tears and desperation as she looks over her shoulder to her lover as her glossy lips whimper.
Jason was only in his tight black boxers as his hand squished the soft flesh of her cheek to the side. His eyes staring back into hers with the same pathetic lust and dominance that he always had as he eats her out from behind. His nose appearing and disappearing in the crack as his tongue plays a cruel game of tag.
His slow, lugritive strokes down to her puffy clit interchange with the rough darting over her pulsing hole before sofly licking up to her puckered hole. His fingers never leaving her neglected as he would hold her pussy open before lazily playing with her clit in between licks.
"Jason, quit being a tease..." She whines before yelping as he roughly pinches her clit. His mouth pulling away from her as she whines.
He begins to slowly tease her folds as he scolds her softly, "I didn't ask for you to be ungrateful."
Her hips jittering to regain some friction before he smacks her ass as he continues. Her whimpers of pain causing Dick's own cock to jump in his pants as he tries to ignore his brother as he kept his eyes on (Y/N). His hand slowly releasing his cock from his ski pants as he continues to watch the scene before him.
"Here I am trying to take care of you after you've been sick all day and all I get in return is some sass." Jason scolds cruelly before he inserts two fingers roughly into her cunt. Her cheeks burning hot under her tear stained skin as her body welcomes him with a sicking squelch as she mumbles.
"I-i'm sorry baby..."
Jason's gaze softens before a mocking look of sympathy appears on his face as he begins to thrust his fingers into her. The slight curve of his hand memorizing her body as he instantly found her G-Spot as she cries in pleasure.
"It's okay, Ma." He coos as he presses open kisses to her shoulders and back as he begins to brutally pound her cunt with his fingers. Her eyes jumping back into her skull as he continues to assault her senses as he says.
"You can't help it that you are sick as a dog in the mornings and then a raging whore at night...Afterall," Jay whispers as his mouth slowly decends back down her body. "Little bit isn't making this easy for you, is she?"
She desperately nods as she tries to roll her hips back to meet his hand as he chuckles at her. "It's alright. I'll take care of you, Baby, but I want you to take care of me too. We are family..."
His mouth instantly attacks her puckered asshole just as she seizes up and orgasms as her eyes roll back into her skull. Her desperate sobs turn into overstimulated whimpers as Jason doesn't let up on her abused holes.
It wasn't until she was still that he raised up and pulled his boxers down. His smirk grew to a shit-eating grin as despite her tired face, she wiggled her hips, ready for him to take her.
"Ass or Cunt?"Jason asks as he jerks his bright angry cock.
Her lips curl in a lazy grin as she says, "Both."
"That's my girl." He says as he lines his tip up with her pussy as he slowly pushes in.
Her whimper along with his groan of relief as his hips slowly meet hers. His upper body bends down to meet her lips in a deep kiss as his hips meet her ass. His hand slides around the plushness of her hip to rest on her lower stomach as he whispers to her mouth.
"Maybe it's not too late to give Little Bit a sibling."
She giggles before she presses another peck to his lips before he rises back up to place his foot adjacent to her knee. Not giving her any more time to adjust, his hips begin to slowly thrust into her quivering body as his hand keeps a tight grip on her asscheek, spreading her open. His cerulean eyes trained on the creamy ring that was slowly developing on the base of his thick cock as he disappears deep inside her.
"Jason..." (Y/N) whimpers as his pace begins to increase.
"God, how is she still so tight?" He groans as his hips begin to snap into hers, his eyes wide as he watches her ass ripple at the growing intensity of his thrusts.
Dick's own hand tries to match the pace as he tries to imagine he was the one fucking her instead of Jason. That he wasn't the one pathetically fucking his fist outside of his brother's room with his other arm possibly fractured.
Her face contorting in pure ecstasy as her manicured nails tear into the comforter. Her wedding rings shining in the low light of the room as Jason's own wedding band disappears in her hair. His grip looks unforgiving as he forces her head deeper into the mattress. His free hand stretching as his thumb circles her ass with light pressure as she cries into the plush bedding.
"Fuck you look so pretty." Jason moans as he slowly fucks his thumb centimeter by centimeter into her ass as gently as he could as his hips abuse her cunt. "I wonder how much prettier you would look with my cum dripping out of his cute little ass and pussy. You think everyone will notice you limping?"
He chuckles as he manages to fill her to the first knuckle as he stops his pace to grind into her, letting the feeling of him invading both of her hole and filling her sink in.
Her hips trembling as she tries to create more friction as her sobful begging wasn't even intelligible as he kept her head down. From the impossibly growing slick on his thighs, it was obvious that her orgasm was coming again and soon as Jason's free hand releases her hair and instead pulls her up flushed against his chest.
Her wanton cries filling the room as she was now exposed for the first time to the room. Her bare breast were littered in dark hickies as Jason's hand comes to paw at her tits. Her arms reaching back as one tangles at the nape of his neck and the other cupping his ass, encouraging him to continue.
"Please..." She begs as trembles in his hold. "Please fuck me...fuck all my holes please. I'm yours to do as you please..."
Jason smiles softly before kissing her cheek. "Good girl...that's my good, sweet little wife..."
His praises never end as his hips begin to snap into her at a brutal pace. Both of their voices became higher in pitch as they began to get lost in each other.
"That's it. Take it. Take it all. It's all for you and you only."
"You're doing so good. No one has such a soft, loving heart and cunt like yours..."
"I love you so much."
"I love you too" She manages to reply back before it hits her.
It was then that she screamed out Jason's name as her coil snapped inside her. Her eyes roll back again as her walls squeeze his cock as he follows her with a rough cry.
Dick quickly covers his mouth as his own orgasm hits him after he managed to not make a mess and not be discovered so far.
The base of Jason's cock is a mess as their releases flow down and drip before the pair calms down with a soft kiss on each other's lips. His cock pulls out of her as he massages her lower stomach gently as he pulls away. His eyes shone in pure admiration and concern.
"You okay?" Jason asks softly as he cups her face.
Her tired eyes staring at his lovingly as she whispers. "Yea...Can I have some water before we go again?"
They both smirk at eachother before Jason pecks her lips as he mumbles. "You're insatiable."
He stands up from the bed as she collapses into the pillow. He pulls on his boxers and heads to the door before Dick even recognizes out of his lust full daze. He didn't have time to react as Jason swings open the door to the pathetic sight before him.
Dick 'Motherfucking' Grayson was peeping into his brother's room. Watching his brother making love to his wife. And jerking off to it.
Before Dick could explain, Jason's face twists in anger as his cold glare indicating that this maybe Nightwing's last day on Earth.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
And like that Dick tries to run away back down the large stair case as Jason chases him to beat his ass. Karma is an ugly bitch because just as the front door was opening, Dick violently twists away from Jason's grasps so hard that he tumbles down the stairs with a large crack and several gasps indicating the end of the vacation.
And that was the story of how Jason broke Dick's arm and little Richard after he caught him being a weirdo.
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A/N: I swear I'm not a Dick Grayson hater, but I think its kind of tradition now to always rip on him in this miniseries. I hope y'all enjoyed it and please comment what you liked and didn't like about this. I swear I'll actually start cleaning out my drafts soon.
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@simpingforheros fanfic. I DO NOT CONDONE OR CONSENT TO MY POSTS OR WORKS BEING PUBLISHED, PLAGERIZED, STOLEN, REBLOGGED, OR COPIED ONTO ANY OTHER WEBSITE OR BLOG.
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#arkham knight#arkham knight x reader#arkham knight jason todd#jason todd x y/n#simpingforheros#arkham knight x you#batman arkham series#redhood fanfic writer#red hood x reader#redhood smut#dc red hood#redhood x reader
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Some people need to write in this absence of courage though, and purely because of it, and purely FOR it.
Not to say that I don't get your point: it is a good point and I would like to see more hopeful dark stories, stories similar to what you prefer. I would prefer them too, ideally.
However sometimes people really do not have the courage to "want something better, to know that it was wrong"... Because to THEM (and I say this as someone who is similar to them to an extent, though I fight everyday to be hopeful) it does not seem like an act of courage, it seems like an act of insolence.
Why insolence? Because of a lot of things.
"How dare you (general you, not you, OP) want something better? The result of what was done for you is a negative thing that pushes you to do negative things, how dare you think that you should want something better?"
This is the insolence I speak of. The insolence they think they are culpable of. Sometimes people really do need to show the trauma "bare". They need to write out the negative voice. It's what they know and they feel isolated because people keep telling them it'll get better but they are not there yet, so they want to show their frustration. They may want to reject the idea of not taking up space, alternatively, when they show their trauma: so they show it in a gritty manner and without solution to spite the people that tell them they should just keep it all in unless they have healed, or unless they have the intention of doing so.
It may not be hopeful dark art, that's true. But that's not what dark stories HAVE TO be in order to be "good art", either. They don't want to fix something. They just want to show it. They are "vent art".
And it is needed. By people that don't have the "courage" yet, that maybe won't ever have that courage. They need to see something other than their mind crumble... something other than their body, something other than their voice, something other than their memory while it's crumbling. They need to see a story that crumbles without getting back up. That way they feel less alone, perhaps. They feel that the suffering is real and that it does not need healing to be considered suffering. Especially when others interact with the story and cry alongside them while in a similar situation.
A weird broken sort of solace so to speak.
Is it nice? No, not really. But in certain moments of people's lives it's what they need. In a twisted sense, for some people, all they will ever want to experience. It's not just insolence after all. For certain people, darkness itself is the refuge, because the world outside is too bright and a lot people want to be rid of their dark thoughts and want the victims themselves to be rid of the dark thoughts and find a solution for them, whereas these victims just CAN'T, they can't manage yet and they feel inadequate so they produce something that makes them feel like they matter for something.
Something dark and gritty and hopeless.
Art isn't good due to the fact that it expresses correct values. Art is good because it makes you feel, or merely because you feel drawn to interacting with it. Same goes for dark art. It is good dark art when it makes you feel dark stuff, whether or not it heads towards a good or bad ending.
I say this as someone who is hopeless about herself and himself and hopeful for others. Weird right? But it's how I exist. People's comfort sometimes makes me feel even lonelier. I would prefer silence and reading dark content AND hurt/comfort most of the time.
I come from a place of being pressured into healing. I want to heal on my own now, I don't trust therapists for shit. I will find my hope but not now. And dark content with hopelessness, vent art done purely for the vent and not for the healing helps me immensely because I feel my resistance to healing seen without someone telling me that I can heal because I know I CAN, I just don't want to because people have all sorts of expectations about how my healing should be, but while people can object to my healing not really being healing, they can hardly disagree that the dark stuff I write isn't dark. At least in my experience.
People have differing types of sensitivity, and not all people who are lovers love themselves. Love doesn't have to be total, not all people experience it like that. Sensitivity does not have to make you like dark hopeless stories, but it does not mean you are sensitive only if you prefer hopeful stories OR when you reject completely dark stories. People can be "lovers" and sensitive in all three of cases. So I agree about being frustrated for people saying "you're not sensitive enough" because that's not true, your sensitivity simply differs from theirs.
Vent art can be self care just as much as hopeful art. And dark content does not have to be vent art, it can also just want to make people witness gross stuff because they enjoy gross stuff being depicted for the sake of it (to make an example: people with certain laraphilias that cannot be explored safely in real life).
I am merely playing devil's advocate, with the devil being something I love: my only chance at venting without feeling pressured into a reaction. So I will concede this exposition may seem personal, almost too personal, and angry, but I tend to be passionate about the things I love.
I hope I didn't anger people with my response to this. But then again, I should take up space more often...
too much to say in a post but i re-read (partly skimmed) my manuscript of my book from a year and a half ago and it's so fucking good and also feels like a hemisphere of my brain has been returned to me. like oh yeah. my creative self. the fullness of my being. i missed you
i need to fucking talk about it but it's intimidating
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could you pretend to be in love? (10/10)
The Realization
pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)
summary: prom is coming and so is the end of a stage in your life. surprises and unexpected conversations take place, the question is, are you able to forgive in order to move on?
word count: 9.7k
previous part • series masterlist
this is not a drill, it's really happening!
first of all, i want to apologize for having left this story aside without finishing it. it wasn't something i decided, the writer's block precisely in this fic made me not try anymore for a while, mostly to clear my mind and my ideas, because i had no idea what to write after chapter nine 💀
so I hope you really forgive me and enjoy the last chapter 🥺 it has been an honor to have given you this little fic, I really enjoyed writing it despite the little mental breakdowns I had haha
and just like my other stories, I keep it in my heart and it will always be here for whenever you want to reread (I will make sure to post it in AO3, don't worry) i'm also thinking of doing a poll about the epilogue where you guys will decide if you want one or prefer this ending. let me know after you finish reading the chapter 🤗
enjoy and I look forward to your comments!
It still all feels like a bad dream that you can't wake up from. An unwanted dream. A nightmare.
And every time a new day comes, you feel like a human being who does everything in automatic mode, not because you really want to.
In front of your dad you must pretend that everything is fine, but as soon as you leave home and get to school, you feel a huge weight and a sadness that nothing and no one can take away from you.
You feel the stares of some people on you, if not all of them. But the truth is that you feel so emotionally drained that you don't even pay attention to them.
Many would say that not being accepted to a college doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Nor does it mean that your chances are over because there is still too much time to be able to do everything you want.
And you accept that they are right. All is not lost because you didn't get accepted.
When you were rejected the first time when you applied in conjunction with the scholarship, disillusionment sets in. There is disappointment in yourself for not being enough and there is this question that constantly floats in your mind; why others do and I don't? Why am I not worthy of the same fate as them?
Maybe it's age, but it's inevitable to feel that rejection and failure after having so many plans and having in mind the idea of making your dad proud by telling him that you've been accepted to college.
And not just any college, but Citadel.
But so far, you haven't had the courage to tell him instead that you won't go to any college. You just can't. You don't know what exactly you'll tell him and you don't want to face it yet. You don't want to see his disappointed face so you need more time.
So instead of dreams and aspirations, as well as preparing to live a college life, you prepare and focus on getting a job. You don't see employment as a bad thing either. You just wish you didn't have to focus on it right now.
You haven't talked to Aemond either. You haven't even seen him.
You're in some classes together. But you barely pay attention. Even though you used to notice his presence before and now, unconsciously, you ignore it. Now your mind is too busy with your worries.
It's like being in a disconnect. You are just there, existing. But you barely talk, barely react and barely do. You just want classes to end soon so you can go home.
Of course, he hasn't stopped trying.
He wants to talk to you, but you won't let him. You just don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. Even though you feel that emptiness he has left, you immediately force yourself not to think about it.
It's like pain and confusion mixed together, but your pride and that same pain makes you prefer to stay away.
You don't even care anymore what people say about him and you. It's obvious that the two of you are no longer in a 'relationship'. No one knows what happened and neither one of you is clarifying anything.
Which you are grateful for, so as not to feed the topic in the whole school.
Meanwhile, Alysanne and Cregan are almost always around you, trying to cheer you up and make you endure school better. You couldn't be more grateful for both of them either.
"So what are your plans for the weekend?"
Alysanne asks as the three of you are sitting on a bench in the outside courtyard. On the bench where you and Aemond made the fake relationship contract, precisely. But you try not to focus on that as the three of you eat lunch.
"We're going to the movies, did you forget already?" asks Cregan, confused.
"Huh? This weekend?"
"You forgot," he assures her.
"I didn't forget!" she lies, nervous.
"We agreed to go on Saturday. To the ten o'clock function for the horror movie."
Oh yes, the two of them are dating. Just as you and Aemond have 'broken up', so you try not to feel more distressed about it.
"Do you want to come, Y/N?"
You raise your gaze to Alysanne, confused, who gives you a smile.
"It's a date, isn't it? Just the two of you."
"We'll have more dates," she makes a nonchalant gesture.
Poor Cregan.
"Besides, it would do you good to clear your head a bit. So, what better than going to the movies? Right, Cregan?"
"Yeah, it'll do you good," he nods.
"No, thank you," you say softly, "I don't want to interfere with your dates. Besides, I'm not in the mood to go out. I'd rather stay home."
"You're not going to interfere with anything. Besides, you've stayed home enough days," she reproaches you, "Come on. Even one night. We'll have a great time."
"If you don't want to go to the movies, we can go somewhere else," Cregan proposes.
You grimace slightly.
"No, thank you. I..." you sigh, "I really appreciate it, guys. But I'd rather stay home."
Staying home to look for a proper job and plan to tell your dad you won't be going to college, like you've been doing for the past few days.
"Are you sure?" Alysanne looks at you not entirely convinced.
"Yeah," you shrug, "Don't worry about me."
"Of course I worry about you."
"You should focus on your date," you say as you give Cregan a meaningful look.
"Totally," Cregan nods, "In fact, she'll plan the next date."
"What?" she looks at him in horror.
"What you heard."
"And why me?"
"Because I always do."
Your talk with them doesn't last long as soon the bell rings and they head off to their respective classes, except for you, who has a free hour.
So you stand on the bench alone, just looking outside and nothing else, enjoying your lunch unhurriedly and in peace and quiet.
You let out a long breath and distract yourself for a few moments in your social networks, watching as some people post their reactions from when they were accepted to colleges. Everyone screams, smiles and cries of happiness with their families.
Except for others who quietly show how they were not accepted. But they open more emails and get accepted to other colleges.
You wish you were part of them.
You close those apps and go to Tiktok to distract yourself for a while by watching funny videos or storytimes.
When suddenly, you hear footsteps approaching behind you, which catches your attention. You turn your head, peeking over your shoulder and then you see him, Aemond.
He stops as soon as your eyes look directly into his, as if you've caught him in the act of robbery. Which reveals how very cautious he was being to approach and not scare you.
You see the uncertainty in his gaze, the insecurity and the wariness all at the same time. Which is rare for him, as he doesn't allow himself to look so vulnerable. But you understand why he's this way with you.
First you think about getting up and leaving him with the word in his mouth, like you've been doing lately. But for some reason, it's like finally your mind resigns and your body will force you to stay where you're sitting. And you don't even know why.
Or maybe it's because he's begging you with his gaze not to leave and listen to what he has to say after so many weeks.
Inevitably your nerves invade you and neither he nor you say anything for a few long seconds. He just stands still, as if testing the waters, waiting to see if you will move away from him again attentively.
Then he swallows hard and watches you with a sad but hopeful expression.
“Can I come closer?”
You press your lips together, think about it for a few seconds and finally give him a barely visible nod.
You turn your gaze to the front and begin to put your tupper with food in your backpack. While at the same time Aemond approaches you, cautious but firm. And surprised that you are allowing him to do this.
You let out a long breath and bring a hand to your hair, nervous, not knowing why.
Then he steps in front of you and only at that moment, you realize he has a folder in his hand. A folder that he sets down on the table in front of you, with smooth, cautious movements.
“I just came to drop this off for you. Nothing else.”
You raise your gaze to look at it confused for a moment, then look back down at the folder in front of you.
“It's the paperwork you need to submit to finalize the scholarship process,” he says softly, “Classes start in two months and by now you should have received an email from the university with all the information as an incoming student.”
Wait, what?
Your mind immediately questions, as you frown more and feel your heart start to beat too fast.
“What are you talking about?” you ask in a low murmur, not understanding.
And Aemond lets out a long breath.
“I'm keeping my promise.”
His words echo steadily in your mind.
And you dare to raise your gaze to him again, confused, serious and incredulous. And what he does is lower his gaze, sorrowful and unsure. However… he is firm with what he is saying.
Then a tingle begins to run through your hands, at the same time as you feel the nervousness sweep through your body like a wave. You part your lips as you look at the folder in front of you and with trembling hands, you pick it up and open it.
The first thing you see is the university logo and an overwhelming sensation sweeps over your body and mind as you see what appears to be a letter addressed to you.
Miss. Y/N Y/L/N, Faculty of Law. Official documentation for the scholarship process.
You feel the air you were holding in your lungs slowly leave your mouth. And a huge weight that you felt in your chest is lifted, allowing you to rest and breathe properly.
At first, you think your mind is playing a joke on you. You think he's doing it. But… this is real. More real than you can imagine.
“I know I didn't do things the right way…
Aemond begins to speak, noticing the mix of shock and confusion in your gaze, breathing hard through your mouth.
“I know I took you for granted and that I hurt you,” he says softly, “But that was never my intention, Y/N. I-I… I thought I would get everything under control. That I would work it out and get everything done on time. But, it's just… I don't even have justification.”
You feel tears begin to form in your eyes. But you control yourself. You bite the inside of your cheek and try not to let his words make you break down in tears.
As if the fact that you have in front of you one of the papers confirming and assuring you that you will finally go to the college of your dreams isn't enough.
“I should have acted sooner and looked for solutions. I should have been honest with you from the beginning. And you don't know how sorry I am,” he says softly and vulnerably, his gaze lowered, ”I also don't expect you to forgive me for keeping a promise and asking for forgiveness. I know I fucked up and things can never go back to the way they were. But I just want you to know…” he takes a moment, "That I really did fall in love with you."
Fuck.
“What I felt for you was real. It was never a game or a pretense. I was just… afraid,” he admits, ”Afraid of fucking up what we had. Afraid it would all fall apart if I told you the truth. But… I ruined everything,” he says with a resigned tone, ”You don't have to talk to me again either if you don't want to. You don't owe me anything. I just wanted to tell you the truth and let you know how sorry I am.”
Each word echoes in your mind, with the weight of his regret and his sincerity. You feel the tremble in your body, not helping the fact that you are still staring at the college sheet addressed to your name.
And you hold back, trying to calm the chaos being unleashed inside you by his words.
When he doesn't say anything else, you certainly won't and you both fall silent for a moment, as the weight of his words and the meaning of them fill the space. Until he speaks again.
“I won't bother you anymore,” he moves forward a bit back to the way he came, “Best of luck at Citadel. You deserve it, you really do,” he tells you with a small smile that is sad but genuine at the same time.
Then his figure disappears from your field of vision and you hear him start to walk away. And at that moment, the world seems to stop for you.
Unable to help yourself, you turn your head and watch him walk away with tears in your eyes. There is something in his walk, in that slight slope of his shoulders, that screams the burden he carries. And you don't know why, but… you want to call him, to tell him something that will ease the knot you both feel.
However, you know that won't fix anything.
You feel the air leave you, his words still echoing in your mind. You stare at the folder again, trying to remember what this achievement meant to you before this moment, before he came and stirred all the emotions in you.
You try to be strong, you try not to let this affect you more than it should, you think of the positive. But you can't.
So still in disbelief, excitement, sadness and with all your emotions mixed up, you take your phone, unlock it and open your emails app. And there, your most recent email, you read: Citadel University.
With your hands shaking, you press the email and read in slightly larger letters: Welcome to Citadel University! Miss Y/N, Y/L/N. Faculty of Law, Registration number: 31982.
Then, finally, you can't hold back the tears any longer and you put a hand to your mouth, letting them out, with confused and intense feelings coming over you.
Your father's loving and proud words, hugs and kisses make you smile.
It took you four days to finally break the news to him. And seeing him so happy, excited and proud, made you finally stop feeling so bad for even a moment. You also broke the news to Alysanne and Cregan, who were very happy for you.
Neither of them mentioned Aemond, which you appreciated. But there is the clear acknowledgement to him for making this possible.
You obviously left the job search behind and instead started contacting the university. You sent the missing and necessary documents, they sent you information about the scholarship, your schedule, classes and also about your dorm.
It's like finally this void in your chest is being filled as you finally see this all happening. And as you look at the pictures of the university, with old, elegant and modern architecture at the same time, that excitement rises in you.
However, what you feel is not happiness in its entirety.
In fact, you feel in the middle of a crossroads; joy is mixed with sadness. And the satisfaction of fulfilling the dream feels incomplete.
The worst part is that you know why.
But you don't think about it too much either. You don't want to. On the contrary, you force yourself to repeat over and over again that this was the plan all along. You force yourself to enjoy it and get excited.
You force yourself to think that what happened outside of getting into the college of your dreams was for a reason, but in the end you got what you really wanted.
But, deep down inside, you think about how you wish things could have been different.
At the same time, prom is just around the corner.
At first, you thought about not attending, but of course, Alysanne wouldn't let you think about it anymore. She dragged you with her to the dress store and sentenced that it will be a date of three, her, Cregan and you.
You tried to persuade her, to make her understand that Cregan only wants her as his date. But, of course, Cregan as the great friend he also is, told you it would be fun.
Certainly neither he nor you nor Alysanne have ever been on a three-way date and he told you; what better than to try it at the prom?
The prom preparations are done. Now the important thing is to turn in final projects and get rid of all the pending with the professors.
And that's what you're doing now.
With your headphones on and a notebook along with a book on your table, you're about to finish a long, boring project. When you notice how a figure suddenly obscures your workspace and you raise your gaze almost instantly, curious.
Helaena.
You remove your headphones, surprised to see her as she smiles softly at you.
“Hi,” you say to her in a soft tone, putting your project aside for a moment.
“Hi,” she says to you in the same soft tone, ”I… am I interrupting you?”
“Oh no,” you say nonchalantly, “I mean, yes, but I'm just about to finish it anyway. Don't worry.”
She looks at you a little unsure.
“Are you sure? It's just… I don't know,“ she shrugs, 'It's been a while since we last talked and I didn't know if I could come up to you.”
Again you ignore the small sharp pain in your chest at the memory of Aemond and try to look like you're not at all affected by having his sister in front of you.
“Yeah, well…” you try to smile a little, ”Things have been… intense lately.”
She nods as she takes a seat across from you.
“So it's official?” she asks you with a sad tone as she watches you with a sad little smile, “Like, I mean… you and my brother aren't coming back together?”
This time, the sharp pain in your chest is stronger and more persistent. As well as her question hits you like a wave.
How can you tell her that, in reality, everything you and Aemond had was false? That it was all part of an agreement?
The guilt begins to consume you as you see her face full of expectations and the worst thing is that it's not something you should tell her. That should be Aemond. But, still, you feel the urge to cry and you feel the need to finally tell her the truth, for the sake of everyone who made you believe the fake relationship.
“Helaena…” you begin, your voice barely a whisper, ”I-I… need to be honest with you.”
You take a breath, expecting the worst and imagining a series of difficult emotions to deal with.
“This whole thing between Aemond and I… it was fake,” you speak fearfully and sorrowfully, ”We were just… pretending for our own convenience. It wasn't…” you sigh, closing your eyes for a moment heavily, ”It wasn't real.”
You expected surprise, indignation, incredulity, anger, and more, all at the same time. But to your greatest surprise and bewilderment, she doesn't seem remotely surprised. Instead, she just smiles softly at you, full of understanding, as if she's been waiting for this moment for a long time.
“I already knew that,” she tells you in a serene tone that disarms you.
You feel your lungs hold all your air and you watch her completely stunned, surprised and confused with your parted lips. Then you blink, processing her words.
“What?”
“Aemond told me everything the moment you set up your rules,” she replies calmly, “The truth is, he never hides anything from me. He can't. So I already knew what you both were doing from the beginning.”
You continue to watch her in shock and disbelief, unable to believe it, trying to understand how she could have kept this to herself so naturally.
And in that moment, with disbelief and surprise beating in your chest, you realize that in every single conversation you had with her, right here at school, at parties, even at that family dinner that ended in disaster thanks to Aegon's drunkenness… she had always known.
“Though I don't always approve of his decisions, I understood why he did it… and why you did too.”
But your mind is still short-circuiting, processing and comprehending.
You relive in your mind every moment you went out of your way to pretend, believing you were fooling everyone, especially her. And yet, there's Helaena, looking at you with an expression of calm and empathy that completely disarms you.
“So you knew?” you are able to formulate in asking in a breathy whisper.
She nods, smiling softly.
“Easy, only I knew.“
“And you're not upset?” you ask confused, still waiting for some sign of reproach.
“Not at all. On the contrary, I'm relieved,” she tells you honestly, ”People made fun of Aemond after Alys. And, well, that left a mark on him. You know what rumors are like here.”
“Oh, believe me I do.”
“And they made him miserable. It also didn't help at all that Alys was his first girlfriend and his first formal relationship but the two of them didn't love each other, it was just obsession and whim,” she says absurdly, "And with you, at least, he got some peace back, even if it was temporary."
“But then…” you look at her blankly, “Why did you ask me if we'll get back together?”
Helaena sighs, her gaze soft but intense.
“Because in the end the two of you really fell in love. I saw you at Dragonstone and it was… too obvious.”
You remain silent, remembering those moments.
Both of you walking through those historical corridors, seeing and learning absolutely everything about old Valyria. Both holding hands, fascinated in the aquarium watching everything around or walking together on the shore of the beach, laughing, exchanging glances, hugging and kissing every now and then that everything felt too sincere to be pretending.
You relived every moment and every detail that you wished you could go back to when everything was fine.
Aemond had been different with you those days, a side of him that you had never seen and had thought only existed because of his performance in the fake relationship you had both agreed to.
But even you, being there, without the pressure to pretend, you felt the barriers fall between the two of you, because it was all real.
“He fell in love with you, Y/N,” Helaena tells you sincerely, “You… you did too?”
You feel a lump form in your throat and you let the question float in the air for a moment. The answer is so clear in your mind that it hurts; and yet, saying it out loud feels like breaking a promise you had made to protect yourself.
“Yes, I did too,” you admit, sadness settling in your chest, "But…" you take a deep breath, watching her, ”What happened with Floris even though it was a mistake… and then, the fact that he didn't tell me the truth about Citadel, it really hurt me.”
Helaena nods softly, not judging you, simply listening to you. And when she speaks, her tone is so serene and understanding that it comforts you.
“My brother has this amazing ability to do things in the worst possible way,” she says with a small resigned smile, ”Floris was a mistake. He was drunk and well, he told me that before that both of you have had a disagreement, although that doesn't justify it, I know. I'm just saying, it really was a mistake.”
Your mind momentarily flashes back to that moment, when you tried to end the fake relationship after the family dinner thing.
“And as for the Citadel thing…” she pauses, searching for the right words, “He freaked out, Y/N. He didn't know how to tell you without ruining everything. And I know that doesn't justify it either, but…” she sighs, ”He was going to do whatever it took to hold up his part of the contract. He just didn't count on our grandfather suddenly getting difficult. Our family is already so fucked up as it is, that was the last thing he expected.”
Her words suddenly make you feel interested and curious about a specific topic you hadn't remembered until now. But Helaena continues to speak and you listen to her.
“Even though his method was disastrous, in his mind, he was protecting you,” she says, ”Again, I'm not justifying it. But I know he was desperate to get you that place at Citadel no matter what because he knew you deserved it. And…” she smiles at you with a gesture of resignation, "I think he loves you enough to do stupidly risky things. Even go against grandfather and act behind his back knowing how much trouble he could get into.”
You bite the inside of your cheek and feel a knot of emotions form in your chest. Everything she's telling you opens a door to feelings you'd tried to repress, to thoughts you'd rather bury.
You take a deep breath, remembering again those days at Dragonstone.
You relive every moment, when words were redundant and the silence between the two of you felt so full of meaning. He was always watching you in a way that seemed to say everything and nothing at the same time. He was slowly revealing that vulnerable part of himself that he seemed to have lost after Alys.
But as much as you want to think straight, your thoughts are a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, the pain of it all consumes you but on the other, there's the certainty of how you feel about him.
Even when you're hurting, you know you can't ignore it.
“I know he's still waiting, deep down, for maybe…” Helaena pauses, “Maybe there's a chance for both of you.”
The expression on her face is so sincere and tender that you find it impossible not to believe her, and the thought fills you with a mixture of relief and pain. Because, despite everything, you still love him, and that truth is impossible to deny.
“I don't know,” you confess, biting your lips and feeling your eyes water, ”I-I…I don't know what to do. I mean, we're already graduating. We'll go to the same college but I doubt we'll see each other, you know? And I just… n-no… I don't know….
“Hey, hey,” Helaena tells you instantly, ”It's okay. We don't have to talk about this anymore. I didn't want to overwhelm you or burden you, I just wanted to tell you my opinion and for you to talk to someone in case you needed to,” she tells you softly, comfortingly, ”Still, it's something between the two of you and we can talk about anything else.”
You thank her with a relieved look, her gesture of empathy appearing as she watches you with her soft, understanding expression. And then, she speaks with a more casual tone, changing the subject with a lightness that relieves you a bit.
“You have everything ready for graduation? Are you bringing a date?”
“Hum… yes, I already have everything ready,” you nod, ”And no, I'll go with my two friends. I think you met them, Alysanne and Cregan.”
“Oh yes! I know them,” she says with a smile, ”And I'm going with a friend too. I don't really like the idea of everything being so formal, so going with a friend will make it all more fun.”
Both are silent for a few moments, and although the conversation has taken on a lighter tone, you feel there's still a question trapped in your chest. And at the memory of that day, an impulse prompts you to speak before you can stop yourself.
“Helaena,” you call her softly, "I… can I ask you something?" you ask almost in a whisper, lowering your gaze a little, hesitating.
She watches you curiously and nods without hesitation.
���Yeah, sure.”
“Hum…” you stir in your seat, “That night, at dinner, Aegon said something… about your dad not caring about you. What did he mean by that?”
She immediately looks like she wasn't expecting that question at all, which immediately makes you regret it, but then she softens her whole gaze, not looking at all uncomfortable or upset.
“Oh, well… our dad…” she begins to speak, choosing her words precisely, “Well, he was always very neglectful with us. He always left all the work to mom to take care of us, even when she had to work too so she wasn't totally dependent on him,” she explains, ”It was chaos for a long time. Aegon and I lost years of education because of his lack of commitment.”
“Really?” you look at her attentively and surprised.
“He missed the date to register us for kindergarten in our proper time. He always forgot our birthdays or some important date. But, of course, that never happened to him with our older stepsister, Rhaenyra.”
You remember Aemond mentioning her, though not much.
“And you don't talk to her?”
“Yes, of course,” she says with a small smile, “She was never at blame. In fact, by comparison, she always took us into account and never forgot our existence,” she explains, ”And well, eventually mom divorced him. And the only good thing dad did in the end was to mention us and give us parts of his inheritance in his will.”
Helaena's sincerity and calmness in sharing this about her life surprises you and, at the same time, makes you understand the complicated family history behind them. Now it's no wonder why Aegon was so angry to bring up the subject of parents.
Nor do you ignore the connection you begin to feel towards them, obviously because of your mother and her abandonment.
“It must have been very difficult, for everyone,” you murmur, ”I'm sorry to hear that.”
She nods, though her expression doesn't reflect bitterness, but something akin to mature acceptance.
“Yes, but that made us strong,” she says with a slight smile, "Aegon was the one who resented his absence the most, as you could see," she tells you knowingly, ”You know, being the eldest and all. But we're more… happy now, now that he's gone,” she confesses.
You let out a long breath, watching her with compassion.
“Thank you for telling me. I didn't mean to intrude, really.”
“No, it's fine, it really doesn't affect me,” she assures you softly, ”After that Aegon scene at dinner, it's valid you know. So don't worry.”
You both smile softly at each other, expressions warm and sincere, falling silent. When Helaena stands up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.
“Well…” she says, letting out a slight sigh, adjusting her backpack, ”I should be going now. I also have projects to finish.”
“Sure,” you nod, ”Thanks for coming and talking to me.”
“Oh, there's nothing to thank you for. Anytime. I'll see you later, okay?”
“Okay.”
You both say goodbye and you watch her walk away in the direction of the main building, her silver hair shining in the sunlight, as you let out a long breath and put your headphones back in.
Prom.
You really don't understand what you're doing here. But it's all Alysanne's doing, like the makeup, hairstyle and dress.
You get out of Cregan's car with a beautiful lilac metallic dress on. Finding it wasn't hard at all, since it was like love at first sight, especially since it has a princess cut. And upon measuring it, Alysanne also decided that it was the one.
The hairstyle was also easy, after all, you didn't want anything too voluminous or too fancy. So a wavy style in your hair with a crown of silver flowers at the crown of your head was the perfect touch.
Alysanne on the other hand chose a beautiful wine colored dress that flatters her at every angle, deciding to gather her hair with two strands falling on either side of her face, making her look absolutely elegant and gorgeous.
And once all three of you are ready, Cregan dressed in an impeccable dark suit, offers you both his arms and you enter the grand ballroom of the luxurious hotel together.
The ballroom is illuminated by the typical disco balls hanging from the high ceiling, casting silver and white sparkles that create an almost magical atmosphere.
The decor is elegant and subtle, with centerpieces of fresh flowers and candles giving each table a touch of romantic charm.
You feel a mixture of nerves and excitement as you enter, as if it's all part of a dream. After all, it is your prom and tonight symbolizes a chapter you are about to close, your high school years.
The dance floor is in the center, surrounded by tables in a circle and already some of the guests have started to dance, getting lost in the rhythm of the soft music that fills the atmosphere thanks to the DJ.
Although not only disco balls light up the place, but also some colored lights to make the atmosphere more colorful.
If someone had told you in your freshman year everything that was going to happen in your final year, you would have laughed out loud and wouldn't have believed it at all, because your life was too boring.
But here you are, with still those events in mind, where at the end of the night, you will put them behind you.
You adjust your lilac dress, whose princess-cut skirt falls in soft layers to the floor. The fabric moves with you, as if it were an extension of your own footsteps, and the color shimmers delicately under the silver lights.
The three of you make your way to one of the tables to take a seat and you take a closer look around you as the decorations and you also see familiar faces of some of your classmates, some laughing in groups and others on the dance floor with their dates.
And Alysanne, excited and obsessed with everything, wants to have memories of the whole night and soon the three of you are taking a long selfie session with her phone.
Cregan complains about too many photos and the laughter of the three fills the air as Alysanne continues to make sure she captures the best shots, changing angles and poses.
Alysanne, with a huge smile, spins around on herself and then grabs your hands to dance with her, laughing every time you both take a step out of rhythm. You can feel her pure happiness, an excitement that doesn't take long to become contagious and where Cregan soon joins in.
The dance floor is filling up and the sparkles of the lights reflecting off everyone's costumes and dresses create an enchanting and magical atmosphere.
The DJ starts mixing more upbeat songs, and you see how everyone is having fun, laughing and dancing.
Immediately this catches Alysanne's attention and she drags the three of you onto the dance floor with infectious laughter. Before you know it, you're in the middle of the dance floor with them, surrounded by movement and music.
The music beats on the floor and vibrates in your chest, and, slowly, you begin to let loose, moving to the beat of the songs as the colored lights swirl above you all.
“I'm going to get a drink!” you let them both know over the music.
You have no idea exactly how much time passes that you find yourself dancing, enjoying the night, the echo of laughter and the warmth of the crowd.
The euphoria makes you forget and enjoy yourself as you feel your throat dry and your feet start to ache, with your body starting to beg for water and a little break.
“Okay!” Cregan nods, throwing you a smile, still dancing with Alysanne.
You smile knowingly, since after all, these two deserve to have their moment, and you walk away towards the table where there are different desserts and the drinks for all the graduates.
You take a bottle of water, and as you drink, the immediate relief makes you close your eyes for a moment, enjoying the coolness.
And only at that moment, standing alone and a little apart, you notice the glances of some people around you, mainly girls passing by you and whispering something between them, looking at you out of the corner of their eyes.
Great.
You thought you were past all this but even at prom it doesn't stop.
You take a deep breath and look out onto the dance floor, where you make out Alysanne and Cregan dancing close together, smiling and animated. You certainly don't want to interrupt them and you look around again, trying to distract yourself with anything you can find to rest your feet on.
You try not to make a big deal of it and look back at them for just a few moments with a serious look on your face and again try to focus on regaining your energy, telling yourself that this shouldn't affect you.
You remind yourself that you are here for you and your friends, and that is all that should matter to you.
When your gaze unconsciously focuses on Floris.
With her arm intertwined with a boy, whom you recognize from the lacrosse team, she looks absolutely elegant with a beautiful hairstyle and a gorgeous pink dress.
And as she joins the party, she seems totally focused on enjoying the evening, her expression relaxed and happy.
You look away from her, focused on something else, where your attention slips unintentionally to Alys, surrounded by her friends.
In the distance, suddenly her gaze meets yours and you quickly look away, not knowing why but… you really don't want to deal with or care about those people anymore.
She's wearing dark makeup and a sensual emerald green dress that completely clings to her body and highlights her curves. She looks completely beautiful, but knowing her attitude and behavior, it makes her lose her charm.
You watch Helaena for a few more seconds, her energy lighting up the dance floor, when suddenly, a tall, familiar figure catches your attention on the other side of the room in the crowd.
Instead, you focus on Helaena, who you find among all the people dancing, getting carried away by the atmosphere and in the company of the friend who told you.
Her silver hair is swaying to the music and she shines in the middle of everyone in that beautiful sky blue dress and gold accessories, looking absolutely gorgeous.
Aemond is standing a few feet away, talking to Aegon, both looking absolutely handsome for the evening. Then, the atmosphere around you seems to fade a bit and he's the only one who catches your eye in the middle of the crowd.
And that mixture of emotions about him rises in your chest again.
You take a closer look at who is around him and it is only Aegon. You don't see any girl hanging on his arm or anything, so apparently he has come unaccompanied, just like you.
He is dressed in a dark suit that highlights his slender figure and impeccable posture, just like Aegon. The silver light of the disc balls bring out his silver hair and his face so perfectly detailed, giving it a glow that is almost unreal to you.
Your gaze lingers on him longer than you had anticipated. From a distance, you can notice the lack of expressions on his face and the small twitch of his lips as he speaks to Aegon, looking around him without really showing any emotion.
That eye contact takes the air out of you. The memory of all the things you shared, the conversations, the looks, the touching and kissing… it all comes over you.
And at that very moment, as if sensing the weight of your attention, Aemond looks up and sees you beyond the crowd, apart and alone. The visual connection is instantaneous, almost electric, and suddenly you feel all the people and bustle around you fade away.
You can't deny the attraction and deep affection that, even now, beat intensely in your chest. And, for an instant, you wonder if he too feels the same mix of nostalgia and sadness in the midst of it all.
You notice how he looks you up and down, lingering on every detail of what you're wearing today, his eyes shining, filled with a kind of wary hope and longing, completely stealing your breath.
Then, his body language tells you he's getting ready to move. Coming at you, with her determined gaze.
Oh God.
A sense of panic invades every part of your body. And before he can do anything, you look away and quickly make your way to the dance floor, blending into the crowd, heading towards your friends.
The music booms in your ears and your thoughts are in complete chaos, hitting you one after the other.
Closing your eyes for a moment, you tell yourself that you just want to enjoy the night, to stop thinking about him and what was, even if it's only for a few hours.
So time passes, the energy of the dance becomes more relaxed, and though you manage to avoid crossing paths directly with Aemond, his presence seems to haunt your mind like a lingering ghost, one that doesn't dissipate with the music or the bright lights.
You look around from time to time, and out of the corner of your eye you notice that he also seems to avoid being too close to you, although you can't help thinking that maybe he is also looking for you in the crowd, as you are looking for him.
Until, finally, the atmosphere immediately changes.
The lights dim and the silver and warm tones transform the room into an intimate place. Couples begin to approach the dance floor, holding hands, to dance to the slow songs. And you decide it's the perfect time to take a break.
You smile at Cregan and Alysanne, giving them another moment again, feeling a twinge of tenderness and, at the same time, unexpected loneliness.
You take a seat at one of the nearby tables, watching as the dance floor fills with couples slowly swaying to the music.
Dresses and suits intertwine, and for a moment, you let yourself be enveloped by the warmth of the atmosphere, allowing yourself to feel invisible in the midst of all that harmony.
You watch Floris dancing with that boy, Alysanne with Cregan of course, and Helaena dancing with her friend, both with amused smiles and talking softly without taking the slow dance so seriously. You also see Aegon dancing very close with a girl.
And as your eyes wander around the dance floor, your gaze focuses again on his figure, which seems just as lonely as yours.
A few tables away, Aemond sits alone, surveying the dance floor with an expression you fail to fully decipher. His fingers drum on the rim of his glass, and, for a moment, he seems lost in his own thoughts. He looks calm, almost vulnerable.
You stare at him longer than you think and sigh, averting your gaze, and as the seconds pass, the urge to stand still and do nothing begins to fade.
You bite the inside of your cheek and begin to move your foot up and down rapidly, feeling your heart begin to beat too fast. You watch all the people dancing again, hesitating.
Then you let out a long breath and without knowing exactly why, you take a deep breath and stand up. With slow steps, a momentum and a calmness you try to maintain, you head towards him.
As you get closer, you notice how his gaze, which was lost on the dance floor, suddenly focuses on you, noticing before out of the corner of his eye your approaching figure. Surprise and bewilderment mixed with something else appears in his gaze and you stop in front of him, nervous but determined.
Then neither of you say anything for a few moments. The same nerves make you unable to speak and the two of you just stand there, watching each other.
You feel how some people around you suddenly have their attention focused on both of you, waiting for what you will do, but you don't even pay attention to them. You just focus completely on him.
Until you sigh.
"Do you dance?" you ask softly and nervous.
The words seem to break the spell, and Aemond blinks, clearly surprised and somehow confused.
You watch the expression on his face, as if he's processing every word you've just said, looking for some hint of doubt or change of heart in your expression.
"S-sure," he says still confused, not expecting this at all.
There's a mix of emotions in his eyes, confusion, surprise and nervousness, something you wouldn't have expected to see in him. And you, not wanting to drag this out any longer than necessary, extend your hand to him.
He watches your face attentively and then your hand, still surprised, to finally take it gently. His fingers intertwine with yours, sending an electricity throughout your body through his touch as he stands up.
You swallow hard, feeling your heart beating like crazy and nervousness invading your whole system. And without another word, you both head for the dance floor.
Then, everything around you fades away, the murmurs and laughter, even the music itself becomes a distant whisper, and only he remains, next to you.
He places a hand on your waist, his touch delicate, as if he doesn't want to do anything that could break this fragile instant. You take his other hand, intertwining it with yours and as you both begin to move to the rhythm of the music, you feel how a mixture of emotions floods each of your senses.
Aemond watches you, his eyes fixed on yours and with a nervous little smile on his lips, as if he can't believe this is really happening.
The music moves forward, slow, allowing you to glide in front of each other. As his steps synchronize with yours, the movements become smooth and natural.
And in a moment you realize that you both are completely absorbed in each other, as if nothing and no one could interrupt this bubble that surrounds you.
Finally, Aemond breaks the silence, his voice barely audible over the music and shy, watching you with a gleam in his eye.
"You look beautiful."
He says to you, his words so sincere and emotionally charged that you feel a surge of warmth wash over you.
You wish his words didn't make you melt. But they do. And everything about him, every gesture, his closeness, the firm, protective touch of his hand on your waist, the way he holds you, as if you were something precious and delicate, envelops and intoxicates you.
"Thank you," you reply, feeling a soft smile appear on your lips, "You too... you look very handsome."
He smiles, marking the dimples on either side of his cheeks.
"I wasn't expecting you to come over," he admits, his eyes revealing something between vulnerability and surprise.
The tone of his voice, so soft and honest, makes you feel a warmth you haven't experienced in a long time.
"I didn't know I would," you reply with a barely perceptible smile, "But I thought, maybe... I don't want to spend the night running away," you confess.
He nods, not looking away.
"I didn't want it to be like that either."
His hand on your waist pulls you slightly closer to him with a firm movement and the slight brush makes you aware of the closeness between the two of you.
You feel your thoughts cloud over and you let yourself become more enveloped by him, unable to help it.
His chin brushes your forehead and you feel that at any moment your heart will jump out of your chest. It's an insistent, powerful beat that seems to resonate with every breath you take at his side.
Then, Aemond lowers his voice, his tone becoming softer, almost melancholy, as if his words are a secret shared only between the two of you.
"I was going to ask you if you wanted to be my date that day, you know? When I gave you the folder.
"I was going to ask you if you wanted to be my date that day, you know, when I gave you the folder," he confesses, with a certain melancholy tone, "But I knew it wouldn't be fair to ask you that and I really didn't want to hurt you anymore."
The sincerity in his tone pierces you, and you feel your own barriers begin to crumble. You listen to him with your heart pounding, absorbing every word.
Aemond sighs and his fingers tighten slightly at your waist.
"And a moment ago, when I saw you so perfect and so beautiful in this dress... I realized how much I wished I had walked through those doors with you on my arm," he says with a longing and sadness.
The music continues to envelop you and you feel his confession reverberate through you, intensifying every sensation, every emotion.
The strength of his words, of the connection that has been created between the two of you in the middle of this song, makes the air seem thick and charged with meanings that don't need to be explained.
Then you raise your gaze to him and you both stare at each other in silence, where your words seem to get caught in your throat.
His eyes roam over your face, as if he wants to remember every detail, as if he wants to take this moment with him. There is a sadness and a softness in his gaze that you haven't seen before, and it makes something in your chest tighten.
And again his voice breaks through the soft silence that envelops you.
"I'm sorry... for everything," he says barely a whisper, laden with a sincerity that resonates deeply.
His fingers trace slow circles on your back, small gestures that seem to try to comfort you and to comfort him too. The contact between the two of you is firm and warm, and yet, you feel as if Aemond fears that at any moment this could disappear.
For a moment, the music seems to fade, leaving only your heartbeat and the echo of his voice in the air.
You feel the urge to speak, to say something that would ease the vulnerability on his face, but you find it difficult to organize your thoughts.
Instead, you opt for a simple but meaningful gesture. You propel yourself a little towards him and leave a soft kiss on his cheek, then rest your head on his chest and gently inhale his expensive cologne, being comforting enough for you.
"It's okay," you murmur.
He lets out a sigh of relief, mixed with longing and makes his grip on your waist tighter, not wanting to let go. Then, he leaves a soft kiss on the crown of your head, resting his head on yours as you both continue to sway gently to the music.
"Thank you for giving me this dance," he murmurs.
You place a soft, small smile on your lips, then raise your gaze to his, watching him with nothing but fondness.
He continues to watch you with that softness and one of his hands goes up to your cheek. In a delicate, almost fearful touch, his thumb runs over your skin in a gesture that is both protective and vulnerable.
Then he rests his forehead against yours and you both close your eyes, as you lean into him.
You both fall silent, letting the slow rhythm of the music carry you away, allowing the moment to linger, in a fragile and honest peace.
You feel that you could stay like this, in this bubble of time and silence, without the need for words, because, in this instant, you both understand what has been said and what doesn't need to be said.
The song changes to another slow one and you both lose yourselves in the moment, enjoying it, not wanting it to end.
Time seems to stand still as you dance together, moving slowly and leisurely, as if nothing and no one else exists. The sounds of the party fade around you, leaving only the beating of your hearts and the faint brush of your breaths.
Your eyes close as you let go, feeling his hand on your back and the warmth his body gives off, so close and so full of meaning.
You both breathe in sync, your foreheads resting against each other, your eyes closed as the moment stretches out and becomes more than just a dance.
This instant is a truce, a refuge where everything else, the doubts, the pain, the past, is suspended and what follows is moving forward.
"You've got everything ready to go to college?"
His voice breaks the silence softly, barely a murmur, as if afraid to disturb the peace around you both.
"Yeah," you murmur, nodding.
"What are you traveling there on?"
"Well, I was checking with my dad about bus and plane ticket prices. But I still haven't made up my mind," you admit, remembering discussions about which was the safest and cheapest option.
Aemond nods, thoughtfully. Then, after a brief pause, he speaks with calm assurance.
"I can take you."
You look at him instantly surprised, definitely not expecting that.
"What?"
"I can take you," he repeats, sure of his words, "Well, sure, if you want," he hastens to clarify, "After all, we're going to the same place and I'll make the trip in my car," he explains, "There's plenty of room for your bags along with mine and so you won't have to spend on a ticket. Besides, it would be safer and I think, I don't know, you'd be more comfortable."
You remain silent, trying to assimilate what he has just said. There is something in his words, in the slow and sincere tone, that strikes a deep chord in you.
The idea of making the trip together, of sharing that important moment of departure, of having one last time alone before facing a new life, awakens a mix of emotions that are difficult to describe.
He lowers his gaze for a moment, nervous, clarifying in a low voice.
"It's just a suggestion... something I thought might make things easier for you. You don't have to do it if you don't want to."
Your heart pounds, and somehow, the simplicity of his offer, the naturalness with which he cares for you, causes a warm surge of gratitude and affection to wash over you.
"Can you really do that for me?" you ask quietly, with a little smile you can't help.
"Sure," he says absurdly softly, as if it weren't obvious, "But only if you want me to. I don't want to force you. It's just an option."
You look up at him, holding his gaze for a second that seems like forever, and nod slowly, allowing the feeling of relief and closeness to wash over you.
"I'd love to," you whisper, your voice barely a murmur, "Thank you."
The shadow of a smile tugs at his lips, and you can see the relief in his expression.
"No need to thanks."
Without another word, Aemond pulls you a little closer to him and again the two of you bring your foreheads together, letting the moment lengthen as the music changes to another slow rhythm.
You both remain like that, moving in silence and enjoying the moment, spending the last moment of your high school lives together, to start college together.
"Are you ready?"
Aemond watches you from the driver's seat, his hands resting calmly on the steering wheel with a small smile on his face.
The car is already loaded with suitcases for both of you and you nod, taking a deep breath to calm the emotions fluttering in your chest.
The thought of heading off together towards this new stage causes a mixture of nerves and excitement to wash over you, though a part of you also feels comforted by Aemond's presence at your side.
"Yes," you reply, adjusting your belt.
You watch him and he gives you one last knowing look before putting the car in move.
Saying goodbye to your dad was difficult, but it was something you were both already preparing for and you knew that moment would come.
Besides, he met Aemond, as your friend who will do you the favor of driving you to college and nothing more. And your dad felt safer with that instead of taking the plane or bus alone.
Especially after Aemond promised him countless times that he would take care of you at all times.
The road is serene at first, and Aemond turns on the radio, letting a soft melody fill the comfortable silence between them.
The roads stretch out in front of you, long and exciting, as the landscape changes shape and the kilometers pass, leaving behind the city where you experienced so much.
From time to time, you exchange glances, small comments about the places you see and the expectations each has for the university.
Aemond seems especially careful, attentive to every sign on the road and every change in your expression, as if he wants to make sure you are comfortable and at ease.
And he especially notices a change in your expression.
"Is something bothering you?" he asks you, his voice low but close, filling the space in a comforting way.
You watch him and after some hesitation, you shrug.
"I guess it makes me a little nervous not knowing what to expect," you admit, "This whole new stage... the idea of being alone in a new place."
Aemond nods, understanding what you mean, his eyes fixed on the road.
"I guess it's normal," he tells you softly, "It's almost obligatory to feel this way, but, for what it's worth... you won't be completely alone."
His gaze meets yours for a second before he turns back to the road.
"I'm going to be around if at any time you need anything or anything happens, anything at all."
You feel a warmth settle in your chest, and a part of your nerves seem to fade. The idea of him being there, close by, offering you that closeness, gives you a strange sense of relief.
"Thank you, Aemond," you murmur with a small smile.
He smiles, marking a dimple in his cheek, and turns his eyes to the front.
The ride continues, where the atmosphere in the car becomes more and more comfortable, chatting about small details, expectations, and the occasional joke that makes you both laugh comfortably.
And finally, as the two enter the town of Oldtown and the university looms in the distance, Aemond slows down, looking at the campus that would soon become his home.
"There it is," he says, a slight excitement in his voice.
The same excitement rubs off on you and excitedly, you take his hand, intertwining it with yours, excited and hopeful.
Hopeful that all that is to come for you in this place are good and promising things. As well as hopeful for Aemond and for you.
series taglist:
@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff @bluerskiees @urmomsgirlfriend1 @toodlesxcuddles @rosie-posie08 @iloveallmyboys @bellaisasleep @deliaseastar @cupcakesminicakescupcakes @dixie-elocin @lilostif16 @wickedfrsgrl @a-beaverhausen @saturnssrings @ladythornofrivia @vhwyrm @strangersunghoon @queen-of-elves
#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen fanfic#aemond targaryen x you#hotd aemond#aemond fanfiction#aemond x reader#aemond targaryen x y/n#modern aemond#modern hotd#au modern#aemond one eye
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I finished watching a playthrough of Mouthwashing
Beautiful experience I'm never going to touch again. I tip my hat at the sound design which in some parts made me nauseous (cutting Curly's leg most of all)
And the writing is commendable for so many aspects. The characterization of the crew, the out-of-order timeline that keeps the mysteries and build tension, the subtext of every line... but I want to praise most of all how realistic Jimmy's misogyny is.
In most stories I've experienced, the "sexist" character is nothing more than a caricature who walks around with a flashing neon "I FUCKING HATE WOMEN/MEN" sign. They exist to be a strawmen to be made a lesson of (or to be "cool", in some misandrists' cases), but they're not really characters.
Jimmy's sexism against Anya is realistic. He never outright says that she's lesser for being a woman. But every interaction with her shows how little he values her. He makes a jab at her never being admitted to medical school, but doesn't quite finish his sentence. He hijacks her role as Curly's nurse because she's too "sensitive" (that and perhaps his deep-seated desire of having power combined with his guilt). She never features in his guilt-induced delusions: Daisuke, who was mercy killed by Swansea after Jimmy endangered him, does, but Anya, who obviously killed herself out of trauma? Nah. But, what features is a womb-like thing with a "baby" in it, and the baby's cries can be heard even before, in the cemetery. The baby itself is seen as the real issue when Jimmy and Curly talk before the crash - even Curly doesn't seem to give a single shit about Anya's trauma, but simply wants to help Jimmy with the mess he made. I bet that, had he never impregnated her, no one would have cared.
Anya is not on the same levels at the others. Not intellectually, and not in dignity. Jimmy doesn't need to spell it out. Hell, while we don't see the rape happening, and it's not even outright confirmed but kept hush-hush as it often happens, it does fit Jimmy's craving for power. That is his fatal flaw. He loves to control others and have power over their lives, he just doesn't like dealing with the consequences of his actions. Plus, we see the way he speaks to the young, impressionable Daisuke, manipulating him into doing what he wants: who says he didn't employ the same tactics with Anya, who might as well be a child to him? (this is assuming he didn't just spike a drink, since he seemed to be very ready to go through that route when it came to Swansea...)
Beautiful writing. I shall now proceed to have nightmares about the red sea :)
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hi very late but may I request a cute cg!jaehyun taking care of a VERY fussy little!reader hehehehehhehehehehheheh cant wait to see what u write :)) (saying this bc I was very late but I saw you saying like a week or 2 after u saying u wanted to write jaehyun fics..)
no ! ( but okay ) caregiver ! jeong yoonoh x age regressor ! reader
genres age regression content , fluff warnings reader has hair long enough to put behind the ears dni nsfw / kink author's note FAV MOOT . i will go to war for you . as someone who is extremely fussy when small , you and i are cut from the same cloth . hope u like it ! tag list restarting ! lmk if you would like to be added .
“No, no, no…”
“Come on, Honey.”
“Not finish yet.” You ignore Jaehyun’s gentle hand pushing the hair behind your ear, scribbling your crayon furiously to the paper on the floor like a painter struck with genius inspiration.
“Can we finish this later? Tomorrow, maybe?”
“No, no, no, no, no…”
Jaehyun’s eyes flutter shut. You’ve entered your ‘no’ phase all of a sudden and it has been carving at his patience. It’s not that he never wants you to say no, but when it comes to eating your lunch or cleaning up your toys or changing out of your outside clothes for comfy, clean inside clothes, he can’t deny it’s frustrating. He just wants the best for his baby, why can’t you see that?
“Baby.” He looks down at the phone in your other hand, currently shining a terrifying (in Jaehyun’s opinion) four-finned shark-dinosaur-thing. Papers surround your curled-up ball self on the floor, each one detailing a different kind of dinosaur. “The dinos need to sleep too, baby. We need to start getting ready now so you don’t forget to brush your teeth ‘cause you’re just so sleepy.”
“Nuh-uh. Dinos can’t sleep. They’re dead.”
His shoulders slump in his crisscrossed sitting position in front of you. It’s difficult to keep up with the canonical and non-canonical existences of your baby world.
“Okay… maybe. But when they were alive, they had to sleep.”
“…maybe.” You throw him a bone! Finally, it only took an hour.
“Yeah?” He places a hand over the screen. “There are those pretty eyes. Hi Honey.”
“Hi, Hyunnie.” You frown. “Hyunnie let go.”
“The phone told me he’s very tired and would like to go to bed now. Sorry, baby.”
“Not true, phones don’t talk.”
“Mine does.” He gives you a look that says ‘so embarrassing for you…’
You squint at him, unamused.
“Hyunnie let go.”
“Sorry, sweetheart. My hand fell asleep. Right here.” He shines his dimples at you innocently.
“Let go!” Your blue crayon is left forgotten to roll under the couch as you pull and pull on Jaehyun’s arm.
“No!” He sings, finally taking matters into his own hands, quite literally, by pulling you onto his lap. “Bed time. Bed time for my baby.”
He rocks you side to side, cheek resting on the top of your head as he confines you in between his arms.
“No!” You squirm around but to no avail. “No bedtime. No tired!”
“Mmm, yes!” You feel his lips press to your head. “Bedtime, bedtime. Time for jammies and teeth brushing and stories. Doesn’t that sound fun, baby?”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“No-o-o-o-o-o!” Your voice shakes as Jaehyun’s soft rocking turns more into a shake one would give only to a potato sack.
“Ye-e-e-e-e-es!” He smiles down at you as he finishes his best imitation of your little tantrum.
“No.” You frown up at him, but his eyes catch the quirks at the end of your lips that you fail to push down.
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes!” He attacks your cheek with a kiss, littering your face with them as he continues. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!”
“But why?” You give in, allowing yourself to go limp in Jaehyun’s hold.
“Because,” He mocks your whiny tone. “It’s late. It’s late and you get really mean when you don’t sleep enough.”
“That’s not true!”
“Hey.” He pinches your nose. “Why are you fighting me so much lately? It absolutely is true and you know it. Do you want Hyunnie to be all sad and weepy tomorrow? I’ll cry. You know I will. Wanna see? W-”
“No!” You giggle, putting both your hands up to cover his face. “Don’t wanna see Hyunnie sad. But am just no tired, Hyunnie.”
Another kiss to your palms lets Jaehyun see your face again.
“But I am. Can’t you just get ready for bed with me? It’s so scary to be alone.” He pulls you into his chest, squeezing but never too tight. “So scary! I need my Honey to help me!”
“Not scary, Hyunnie.” You giggle. “But okay. Honey help!”
“Really?” He pulls you away to meet your eyes and bumps your foreheads together. “Really really? For reals? How many reals are you talking?”
“All the reals!” You beam.
“Oh, thank you, baby. You sure are doing Hyunnie a solid.”
—
You didn’t realize how cold you were until you put your pajamas on, soft and warm, still smelling of laundry detergent. It’s like wearing a blanket and you rub the fabric against your arms to warm yourself up some more.
Your socks slide against the wooden floor as you hear Jaehyun take his turn to brush his teeth in the bathroom. You left a total mess! Your artwork is all over the floor, what if you lost one?
Not feeling like wanting to clean up at the moment, you put your crayon box on the coffee table to put it in its proper place tomorrow.
Wait.
You’re missing one!
Where did it go?
You hum to yourself as you gather all your drawings in a neat pile, making a mental note to yourself to date them all in the morning. You search under the table and behind pillows and blankets. Where is your green crayon?
“Ah-hah!” Jaehyun spots you back in the living room, face to the floor.
“Baby, what are you doing?”
“Found my crayon, Hyunnie. Thought I lost it.” You lift yourself up, pulling your hand out from under the couch to show it to Jaehyun proudly.
“I’m glad you didn’t lose it, Honey.” He smiles. “But you didn’t have to get on the floor for that. You’re gonna get your jammies dirty.”
“’s okay! Needed my crayon.” You kneel over to slide the crayon back amongst its brethren in the paper box.
“Don’t you have a lot of other ones?” He helps you up by the hand.
“Not the same. Different shade o’ green.”
“Mmm, makes sense.” Jaehyun notices the pile of paper on your arm. “You’re taking your drawings to bed?”
“Yeah. Not tired so Honey’s gonna do storytime today.”
“Oh, really? Thank you, baby. You’re gonna teach me about dinosaurs?”
“Yeah.” You flop onto the bed. “Dinosaurs are super cool.”
“But aren’t they scary?” Jaehyun flicks off the light in the middle of the ceiling, warm soft light from your nightstands keeping the room from complete darkness.
“No. ‘cause they’re dead,” You explain simply.
“..right. I forgot that for a second.” He lifts the covers and slides inside the bed, shivering at the still-cold sheets. “Your drawings are just so good, baby, I thought they were pictures.”
“I get that a lot,” You say, rubbing your head against his arm. “You ready?”
“Ready Freddy.”
“Who’s Freddy?”
“I don’t know.” Jaehyun pauses to think. “Someone who’s ready, I guess. Go on, baby. Show me your dinos.”
“Okay!” You go through your pile of drawings and end up deciding on your most recent creation. “This one’s not finished, but it’s called a Liopleurodon. It existed in the Jurassic period. It was an apex predator—that means that no one could fight it and win! It just went chomp chomp and everybody died.”
“Oh, I see. It’s kind of like you, in a way.”
“What?!”
author's note ( pt 2 ) sorry for taking so long ! i have no excuse , just trying to deny the reality of valentine boy being gone . haven't been keeping up w nct lately bc of irl stuff + the boycott so if anyone has a google drive or anything like that for sm artists , pls lmk ! and as always , comments and constructive criticism are accepted and encouraged . just be nice or i will be finding your loved ones ' contact information and telling them you're CYBER BULLYING . hope everyone is having a good day and if not i hope it gets better !!
#sfw interaction only#cg!nct#cg!nct 127#cg!127#cg!jeong jaehyun#cg!jeong yoonoh#cg!jaehyun#cg!jeong jaehyun x reader#cg!idol#agere!reader#little!reader#jaehyun x reader#jung jaehyun x reader#nct jaehyun x reader#jaehyun fluff#kpop agere#agere kpop#nct fluff#agere sfw#cg!bias#nct fanfic
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I'm super hyped for this game because I think about Modern AUs a lot for Tamlin? It's not normally my genre, but he just gets the muse flowing!
I have a couple variations of MODERN AU that I like for Tamlin! I guess they're more related to scenarios/fic ideas than Tamlin-specific headcanons, but I wanted to share anyway because I'm excited about them.
AMERICANA / HIGH SCHOOL TAMLIN: Tamlin comes from a long line of guy's guys. You know, the typical American dream. His father and his brothers were some kind of sports stars throughout their schooling, then went on to work for their father's company (which was passed down from his father, a lot of nepotism). All Tamlin wants is to take music class, join the school band and maybe take a poetry class because he really loves the arts, but he's build like a Ford F-150 so obviously, he has to be on the football team. Enter the rich kids (the IC). Everyone wants to be them, they're super popular and very cliquey. The leader of the group is the very stylish and spoiled Rhysand. This, my friends, is how we get a classic 90's high school romcom where it turns out both of them are more than what they seem, and they find honest little moments between them hidden away from the prying eyes of their classmates, their fathers and their expectations. Very soft AU.
In most of the Modern AUs, I imagine there's a lot of Tamlin forced to follow in his father's/brothers' footsteps which is always something he isn't passionate about, usually business (sometimes shady, sometimes not).
MERCENARY x RETURNING STUDENT AU / BL-INSPIRED: I don't know if this counts, but it's a self-indulgent headcanon (and fic that I'm writing for myself). It's more urban fantasy, but set in modern times. It's heavily inspired by my favourite BL manhwas. Tamlin's family died in an accident while Tamlin was in university, and shortly after his mother fell ill and into a coma. His father was rich, but dealt in shadier/criminal business, so when he died along with his would-be heirs, his rivals basically tore his company apart and now Tamlin is in a lot of debt. He worked for years to pay back as much as he can, and manage his mother's bills, but now he's in a place where he can go back to school (so he can get better jobs). Moving back into a small college town, he accidentally ends up being roommates with a mercenary-in-disguise (Johan, it's Johan) who initially wants nothing to do with him. Little by little, Johan notices the way Tamlin is struggling to exist, so he helps him out and more and more until they fall in love. In this AU, Tamlin was originally pushed to take business in school because of his father, but he was very passionate about folklore, specifically Fairy folklore (he grew up listening to his mother's stories). When he returns as an adult student, he's in computer science (for the comedy) and sucks at it, which gives room for his mercenary boyfriend to help him. It's very cute. I also love Tamlin being older than all the other students and just not keeping up with the trends.
Anyway, those are my thoughts! Long story short, my kink is writing scenarios/fics where Tamlin is absolutely adored!!!
Welcome to our Tamlin Community game: Headcanons!
Every headcanons post, we'll drop a prompt asking you for your take on the prompt and our beloved Tamlin.
Fun fact: Did you know headcanons posts count as submissions during Tamlin Week? Headcanons are a great way to participate if you don't have time to create more time consuming submission and we love, love, love hearing all the different ways Tamlin is perceived!🤩
This is a space to share your adoration and your creativity, so don't be shy -- reblog or chat with fellow Tamlin enjoyers in the notes!
What are your MODERN AU Tamlin headcanons?
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Mark Oshiro confuses me a little bit not going to lie. In the press tour for the first book all they ever talked about was how Nico is their son and Will is fine I guess. Then they said like 2 weeks before TSATS came out that they didn't understand Will's character at all and it's one of the main reasons why Will has so little POV.
Possibly unpopular opinion but I don't think it's a good, encouraging sign when the writer admits to not really caring about the deuteragonist or not even having a sense of how to write them...
Yeah, no. If you have no interest in 1/2 of the POV characters of your book, you REALLY shouldn't be writing it (or at least, not have that be a main character). Especially when the main way TSATS could have been improved is if it was primarily Will-centric instead of Nico-centric. Will basically had next to no established character prior to TSATS! He was practically a blank slate! But all the new stuff we got for Will in TSATS was so clearly disinterested and had no regard for his previously established traits (or the established timeline/canon). Which is annoying because fleshing out Will would have been the PERFECT opportunity to actually incorporate a lot of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in as a sensitivity reader, which was the ENTIRE REASON THEY WERE BROUGHT ON AS A CO-AUTHOR!!!!
As TSATS stands, there is no reason for Mark Oshiro specifically to have been the co-author instead of someone else. It's so clearly just a PR move from RR following the huge backlash Rick received due to his response to criticism on how he wrote Piper and Samirah (and Reyna and etc etc). This was immediately following Rick saying he wasn't going to write what would become TSATS because "it [wasn't his] place to." Most of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in either weren't relevant at all to TSATS or written very poorly (to downright offensively) in TSATS, so either Mark Oshiro wasn't doing their job or was not able to do their job for some reason, but either way it basically makes the theoretical justification for Mark Oshiro being the co-author/sensitivity reader irrelevant.
With Will, it was HUGE fanon back in the day for him to be trans. Trans!Will and photokinesis!Will were basically the two biggest headcanons for him (both largely popularized by Cherryandsisters). We know Rick is aware of this old fanon because he canonized photokinesis!Will. If we had gotten trans!Will, that would have been great! And then made sense why we specifically got a trans co-author! (Instead, if anything, TSATS canonized Will being cis.) If we had gotten Will being latino, that would have been amazing!!!! And also then made sense as to why they chose Mark Oshiro for the job as a latinx author/sensitivity-reader, versus potentially choosing an Italian co-author since Nico being Italian/Venetian was emphasized so much in the book (and done poorly! Yknow what they could have done to fix that? GOTTEN A SENSITIVITY READER FOR IT)! Based on the themes and focuses actually present in the book, it would have been most logical to get a queer, neurodivergent, Italian co-author or sensitivity reader who specializes in those three topics at least. But we didn't! So why was Mark Oshiro chosen instead when they only specialize in one of those topics? PR reasons. It's blatantly entirely PR reasons and no actual thought or care was put into this book (or, likely, TSATS 2 either).
It doesn't help that we're also actively being told that the published version of TSATS was a rough draft. Or that their editor blatantly isn't doing her job. Or that "The Sun And The Star" was the working title that they just kept cause they didn't bother to make an actual title. And that the final version is full of explicitly last-minute scenes that weren't checked over at all (the final Bianca scene, for one). Or the ACTIVELY ADMITTING TO SOURCING IDEAS AND INFORMATION FROM FANS! That last one is kind of important because at this level of publishing that is a HUGE no-no for legal reasons. You can get into a lot of trouble for that and there is a reason why it is Ye Olde Fandom Law to never try to pitch your ideas or headcanons to the source creator(s) and keep fandom separate from the creators. There is a REASON why Rick Riordan is so distant from the community these days and it's for PROTECTION AGAINST LEGAL REPERCUSSION. Mark Oshiro being the exact opposite while also ACTIVELY ACKNOWLEDGING sourcing concepts from fans does not bode well! It has to do with copyright stuff.
It's just. So. Sighhhhhhhh >->o <- me lying on the floor about all of this. It's sad being able to see the glimmer of what could have been at the very least a decent book underneath all this. If anyone involved in the process had actually cared just the tiniest amount.
#pjo#riordanverse#tsats#the sun and the star#tsats crit#rr crit#mark oshiro#mark oshiro crit#< ?#ask#Anonymous#long post //#i wrote out a whole response to this and them tumblr deleted it. SIGH. re-writing.#sharking Mark Oshiro: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DEFEAT THE SITH NOT JOIN THEM!!!!!#i do also want to make it clear: i have not read Mark Oshiro's other work so i have no opinion on if they are a good writer or not#and that is irrelevant. i am not judging them based on that at all. if more of the topics that they specialize in as a sensitivity reader#had actually come up/been relevant in TSATS i think it would have been nice for them to have been the co-author and stuff#but as things stand based on what actually ended up being relevant in the book i think another co-author would have been appropriate#or even just. if you keep mark oshiro as the co-author then have *other* sensitivity readers#because as things stand the only specializations that Mark Oshiro has that were relevant in TSATS were mental health and queer topics#and BOTH WERE DONE POORLY. like REALLY BAD. plus the blatant ableism and minor racism and such#i know Mark Oshiro doesnt specialize in neurodivergent/disability topics (though a sensitivity reader for anything riordanverse SHOULD)#but they *do* specialize in racism and it got through. also the fact that blatant ableism got through should also be a bad sign#and yes ''respect the right for bad queer novels to exist'' BUT THATS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE. SMALL-SCALE.#thats for like. indie publishers. it should not be used as an excuse to let an extremely famous straight/cis author write bad queer stories#i want to like Mark Oshiro really really bad. i do. i really do. but RR is not making it easy#anyways after having to rewrite this i dont have the energy to proofread it more than once please excuse any errors
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okay so i was thinking of a joke earlier about how in DPDC Amity Park's slogan "a great place to live" is not only city propaganda but also the city lording it over the rest of America for being normal. But then I remembered that, despite how many DCU Cities with heroes in it there are, the amount of cities in America without heroes still far outnumber the amount of cities in America WITH heroes.
So I did a little digging so the joke would still land. Something most heroes have in common is that they operate in major cities. What makes a major city? I found that the general consensus is that the population is roughly over or around a million. THEN I looked up the populations of cities in the DCU that I thought of off the top of my head. So Gotham, Metropolis, Starling City, Central City, Jump City. All of them ranked up to millions in population (most of them were in the tens of millions).
Amity Park's wikipedia describes it as being similar to specifically Philadelphia, Chicago, and San Francisco.
Philadelphia's Population: 1.576 million as of 2021 Chicago's Population: 2.697 million as of 2021 San Francisco: 815,201 as of 2021
Whiiich means that Amity Park if we take that from canon, is probably a major city. There are approximately 19,000 cities in America with probably less than a hundred that are major cities. Adding the DCU major cities wouldn't skew the data too much.
Which MEANS that I can make the joke that Amity Park's "great place to live" is not only just typical city propaganda, but also its Amity Park lording it over the other major cities for being one of the only major cities that doesn't have problems bad enough to warrant a superhero or a vigilante. Cue stage left the Fentons and Phantom :)
Amity Parkers were probably SO proud that they didn't need a superhero. They didn't have to worry about things like 'world ending threats' and 'super-powered individuals' and 'staggering property damage'. And then enter Fentons.
It also could be used as an excuse for why nobody took notice to Amity Park getting ghosts if folks like me aren't huge fans of the notion of a media blackout via Tucker, Technus, or the US Government. Or if you want to keep Amity Park as its urban city self. Amity Park's news on ghosts gets drowned out in a week because there's news on more popular, well-known cities going on every other day. The shit going on in Amity Park is every other major city's regular Tuesday and it gets filtered as such.
#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dpdc#plus amity suddenly going 'we have ghosts' could be seen as a case of city-wide FOMO finally hitting so nobody believes them#and thats if the belief of ghosts not being real is as strong as it is in dp canon#the media blackout could also be /city-induced/ too#where amity parkers are so proud of being 'normal' and 'not having superheros' that many of them try and deny the existence of Phantom#and the mayor and news sources themselves just. stubbornly refuse to let news of ghosts get out to the other cities#do you know how much shit they'll get?? they'll be a laughingstock!#gothamites would never leave them alone. neither would central city or the metropolitans or starling city or--#the other big cities will make fun of them :(#my new favorite hc that stemmed from this is that every major city in the dcu is rivaling with each other#there's a lot you can experiment with this idea imo lmao#this whole post sums up my writing and thinking process pr well tbh#this stemmed because im making a childhood friends au short story doc and wanted to avoid the typical tropes about how AP went undetected#from the rest of the US. bc. im not a fan of the media blackout idea via tucker/technus/gov and i wanted to keep AP an urban city#so i had to come up with something else#hence me looking into DCU cities and how many there are and realizing that there is a decent amount of other cities other than the main#popular ones and being DELIGHTED because then i could use that as an excuse for why amity went overlooked. bc there are many cities with#heroes in it. so its not surprising if another city gets a hero TOO. plus the news also focusing on more popular heroes and cities so again#the news of amity getting a hero gets drowned out by whatever new thing the JL or someone from the JL did that week
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While I was reading your slider oneshot for the third time (sooooo good btw, i cant say enough how much i love your writing), I kept thinking about Ice and Sliders conversation about Carole-[“Me and Carole?” Ice said, thinking it over. He smiled his bitter, bashful smile— “Yeah, we might’ve worked out, once. I won’t get into the details. We tried it out. But I don’t think the timing was right.”]-What is Ice referencing here?? Is he referring to when Carole kissed him? Or did I miss something (entirely possible tbh)? I really felt like Mav when I read that scene ["What do Admiral Kazansky and Carole Bradshaw get up to when he doesn’t know about it?"]
The parallel of Mav being [redacted] with Goose and Carole liking/loving/pining for Ice. Wow! So deliciously complex. What an interesting little love square they have going on. Bradley and his four parents.
But man...Carole really is such a tragic figure in both canon and your fic. But I really really love the depth of emotion that you give her in the glimpses that we get. Her relationships with both Mav and Ice are so interesting and layered. They just feel very real. I really really loved the gimpse of her point of view you gave us in the Dad!Ice fic (the half empty box of cigarettes!! I still think about that)
this is such a sweet ask. thank you. yes he was referring to her kissing him (not really “trying it out,” to be fair, but he’s also trying to “prove” to slider that he’s still interested in women, so he’s using even the most tangential of evidence and holding it up like “see? See? not gonna give you all the details but Trust Me bro we tried it out😎”)
& also here’s from my notes in my printed-out copy of my fics from last OCTOBER (whoa). Referring to the scene in the hospital when Carole gives ice & maverick the instructions to pull Bradley’s USNA app & suggests she & ice have discussed it previously (they haven’t).
Carole is pretty much the only person who is around both Ice & mav enough to know the truth of who they are. (Slider also recognizes this— “ice let Carole Bradshaw see his happiness but not slider… :( que cruel”. And the whole “she is literally the only camera capturing icemav’s happiness on film for the historical record” section of slider
.) And Carole therefore is the only person to whom ice quite literally cannot deny that he & maverick are together, because she… has eyes. And is their best friend. and they’re raising her kid with her. So that sets her up as like a confessional character, in that ice HAS to be truthful with her in a way he isn’t with anyone else, including… his literal boyfriend maverick. so it’s a pretty easy leap for Maverick to be like, It’s a given that ice does not honestly want to be with me, a man -> but he is honest about his feelings with Carole, a woman who has expressed interest in him, behind my back (“what do admiral Kazansky & Carole Bradshaw get up to when he doesn’t know about it?”) -> Omg they’re having a heterosexual emotional affair. Which, like, they totally might be? which is why i keep going back to the *possibility* that they might have worked out once, had it not been for the simultaneous timing of ice falling in love with maverick, since ice is also Bradley’s no. 1 dad figure in my story. Which slider points out.
From a heterosexual family planning perspective, ice & Carole together just kinda makes sense. In a way that everyone in the story recognizes, for better or worse.
#ice as the responsible dad; Carole as the fun loving mom#like if they had ‘worked out’ everyone recognizes they’d be the perfect successful nuclear family with a good love story to boot#which is why it hurts maverick to be compared to that. to be reminded that Ice is only with him because he has to be.#so you get this kind of ‘man it’s a shame ice is gay’ feeling from Carole because she’s the perfect alternative#and when she dies ice has NO other option but maverick#he’s 43 years old & suddenly the woman who loves him whom he’s been keeping in his back pocket just in case… is dead#and maverick becomes his only realistic hope for companionship. doors closing one by one. getting shut into this life he didn’t want.#which is what is hopefully represented in the rendition of the funeral scene in the slider one shot.#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#icemav#top gun#edts notes#carole bradshaw#is icecarole even a ship? seems…#homophobic somehow#these are characters who exist as whole people in my head independent of my personal skill level in rendering them on the page#so im just gonna tell you what i was GOING for lmfao#‘here’s how i MEANT to write it’#‘here’s how i WOULDVE written it if i were being a little more intentional & wasnt speedrunning my first draft in 13 days’
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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[ID in alt]
pallas + giftgiving ❤️
#including not one but TWO instances of stealing stuff from calliope they’re so unserious#i didn’t even notice i’d done that twice until reading through to make this post but i think i should keep it that’s actually so funny 2 me#pallas why r you stealing shit from the person you’re obsessed with in a nemesis way to give to#the girl you’re obsessed with in a besties way what is WRONG with you#<— i bully but this post exists because i got overwhelmed with affection for them#bc like. they’re trying SO HARD they don’t know how to care in a way that isn’t destructive but they’re TRYING#and they do care they care so much they just don’t know how to express it and they don’t! want! to hurt her!#they believe that they will eventually but they don’t WANT to!!!!!#pallas outwardly: gives agnes a littol present#pallas inwardly: i would tear my heart still beating from my ribcage if it meant keeping you safe#they are NOT self aware about this though whenever they do something nice for agnes or anyone else their narration is just like#‘wow so weird that i did that moVING ON’ we don’t gain the ability to self reflect until book 2#wip: ghost story#pallas#creme does a writing
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idk if this is A Take or anything but as much as i dislike characters who read as "creator's pets" - characters that the writer obviously wants you to think is a great person but maybe don't adequately SHOW instead of TELL - i find it more irritating when the writer seems to be trying to tell me HATE a character.
i know the "fun to hate" thing is a trope and obviously a lot of villains do need the audience to hate them somewhat. and the problem with both the characters that the writers want you to like and the ones they want you to hate that don't work well, is that they make the audience's opinion on the character hinges more on the "tell" part instead of the "show."
but idk it's one thing to really love your oc. but if you're purposely writing your character to be hated without giving them adequate characterization it just feels meaner? they're not a real person that could be harmed by being shit on but my feelings about them are real! like you're not even TRYING to make them an actual character this is just a punching bag! now im going to scan the character for any redeeming qualities bc clearly the author doesn't want to.
in conclusion:
creator: you should hate this character
me:
#i felt this in middle school and couldnt put it in words#and this is why i wrote two fics giving redeeming qualities to drew tanaka and octavian from heroes of olympus#this is why i keep rotating odalia blight in my head#this is why i hated the iron widow#60% of the characters are either literally plot devices you have to treat them like actual characters and like them bc the author said so#or theyre literally just plot devices but you have to treat them like actual characters and hate them bc the author said so#if you want me to hate a character make them do things in the story to actually earn it#and i dont mean hate like i dont want to see this character in the story ever again#if you write a character like that then why are you putting them in the story#if the character is to be hated they need to invoke the 'holy shit this guys so fucked up' button in me#i dont have to 'like' a character as a person but if theyre not meant to make the audience think about the story then#why do they exist#make an actual conflict not a strawman#shut up pandora
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Hellooo! I hope you're doing wonderful:)!! Reading KmKy,what are your thoughts if Jhesey didn't get to Ford in time and Bill actually managed to tell Ford the truth about the portal in time before they tested it again?
I read a fic about it (Knowing Infinity) but I think Ford would've needed time to process what Bill has just told him,what are your thoughts ?
I will admit I haven't yet read Knowing Infinity all the way through, despite it being a derivative work. I got through the first chapter when it first posted, and the author contacted me to link the fic to KMKY but I haven't caught up past that point. I'm glad to hear its going well and folks are enjoying it.
I don't know if I should comment on what I think about that plot change if someone has written something built on that premise. It stops being my work at that point and becomes their own creation and I think that's wonderful. I don't want to be the author who tears down or decries someones transformative work based on my own mental canon, because my time reading through Roland Barthes essays in uni really cemented Death of the Author in my mind haha.
If this question is asking if I think within the KMKY fic could this happen, I do think there were multiple moments in chapter 34 for Ford to disregard or pull away from what Jheselbraum was saying, but his curiosity and self sabotaging nature was something I really enjoyed highlighting in KMKY. He said so himself in the scrap vandal chapter, he was waiting for his happiness to fail, and if Jheselbraum hadn't poked holes in it, something else would have, because their happiness was built on quite a bit of deceit. Even without Jheselbraum's interference, Ford would have seen the memory canister and know that way that Bill was planning something with the portal that Ford wasn't on board with.
But that's all within the story of KMKY. A different story may have a different take on things. The main driver of KMKY is that this blissful happy time they spend together is built on denial, on the ticking time bomb of the portal in the basement. There are multiple plotlines in KMKY where the sense of dread about building pressures of things left unsaid propels the plot forward. I'd argue that it's an integral part of the story. A world where they figured out how to communicate and compromise is a different world entirely, haha, but that's what derivative fanworks (and maybe the what if spin off series) is for! To explore those strange new worlds and boldly go where KMKY has never gone before!
#i have lots of thoughts but i never want my author ramblings to take away from someone elses interpretation of the story#stories don't exist for me the author to just play privately with the characters like gideon with his weird little dolls#once its published its for the readers to explore as they will and enjoy in every which way#and if thats making their own works based off it#or getting inspiration from it#then i'll be sitting back cheering#i'll get to write my own happy ending spin off thingos eventually anyway too#and i'm getting more and more tempted by the thought of a sequel thanks to my friend#so ideally we all as a fandom stay inspired and keep making stuff that makes us happy#win win amiright#kmky#knowing me knowing you
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Finding myself once again relishing in the small joys of collective yelling over chapter updates :-)
#this is certainly a binary boyfriends thing so#i sincerely love huddling with the gang not just over my fic but just about everything to do with each of our work#i do think that as long as i keep letting things run freely in a matter that is natural to me first before the rest#then it becomes as fulfilling#full and earnest reactions of 3-4 people are literally what saves me from feeling like it's no value#i've had a dry spell before this. before 6a came out. and since going back to my heroes' works#i've gone back on the groove#i want to write. i want to draw. i want to tell stories#and as it exists beyond that. someday when i make my own story book or comic or novel. i'll know to look back on this feeling#:)#personal#text post#much thanks friends
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and i often get upset with myself for complaining and venting as much as i do, or also for being as anxious as i am, but given the circumstances that I live in, I do think realistically I am being ... incredibly "well-behaved", all things considered. i could be acting so much worse.
but i do still wish i weren't so ... [gestures vaguely at this whole mess] because it's off-putting for people! and understandably so! but i wish i could make friends!
#i have tried hard to be niceys to be around but things seem to be taking a fairly steep nosedive in my life circumstances#which is . so cruel. because i am trying so hard to get onto welfare right now. i'm desperately trying to carve out a life for myself#but life seems determined to kick me out of it. i would just... really like things to be easy. if i'm honest. it always is such a fight.#i want something to be soft and kind and easy. just one thing perhaps. but i have to create it for myself (thank you art thank you stories)#at least i can create i suppose !!! if i cannot find softness then i will make it myself! if i cannot find love then i will make it myself!#anyways. i feel bad for venting here as much as i do. i try to keep it to myself as much as i can but things just get so isolating often#and there is smth somewhat comforting to put it somewhere where someone may see it. i am alive i am here i exist. you know?#alright pack it up this is ridiculous. shut up shut up shut up you poetry obsessed freak lmfao get out of here w that shit#post cancelled everyone go home we're logging out again. this mfer cannot be trusted with a keyboard and internet access#not even tagging this one. fuck off with this shit jesus christ my guy. shut UPPPP#delete later by order of Chase for the love of fuck LMFAO. i ain't even reading all that holy shit dude#this one freak rly logs in to write the worlds most embarrassing post and then runs away again. LOG OFF AND CRY ABT IT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON#posting literally just bc this is so embarrassing that its funny. shut UP my guy.#sorry if there's a tw i should add but genuinely i cannot be bothered to read over this and find out lmfao#delete later PLEASE lmao
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