#and I haven't posted this anywhere else!

[i-am-the-n1-trash]

I'm rereading Tim Drake: Robin and honestly, Tim and Bernard's relationship just makes me so emotional. The fact that they both see each other as the 'bad one' in the relationship, with the other being their 'savior' says so much about their previous relationships.

Tim's biggest canon relationship is obviously Steph and, though I love her to death, their relationship was at points extremely unhealthy, and Tim was often shamed for his actions. He's the bad guy when Bruce won't let him tell her his name. He's the bad guy when Darla kisses him without consent. He's the bad guy for avoiding her when she comes back from faking her own death (against her will, I'm aware, but still), even though their relationship hadn't been in good terms at all when she 'died'.

Though Tim has his fair share of romantic relationships, only two outside of Steph, to me, are as meaningful or well-known enough to warrant exploring, and those are Ariana and Tam (There was definitely guilt with Lynx, but that was from the "she's possibly a criminal" kind, and his issues with Cassie come from a very different place too.)

In both these relationships, there are many times where Tim sees himself as the bad guy. With Ariana, he struggles with his growing feelings for Steph and the guilt of keeping a secret identity from someone he loves, not to mention the fact this is his first serious relationship and he constantly feels like he's messing up. With Tam, the secret isn't a problem anymore, but he ends up constantly putting her in danger just from knowing him, and that puts him off the idea of pursuing a relationship with her altogether.

With Bernard, though, it's the first time in a long time he has a complete fresh start. He's been stuck in a cycle of breaking up and making up with Steph, because they see each other as safe and familiar, but even that is something Tim feels guilty for.

Bernard is someone he knew, who Tim has enough history with to trust him, but who he is still getting to know now as the adults they've become, with no expectations of each other. He still sees himself as the bad guy, as the liar hiding his identity from him. They have a couple step backs, like when Tim has to ask him about the cult as Robin, but even then Bernard makes it clear that while he's angry, he understands why he's doing it, by doubling down on the fact that, regardless of Tim's current actions, their relationship is still a happy part of Bernard's life. (This comfort doesn't work that well, because Tim is a dumbass who doesn't realize Bernard knows he's Robin, but I digress.)

Essentially, to Tim, Bernard is the first baggage-free relationship he's had for a very long time, and he's somewhat plagues by the secrets he's keeping from him. To Tim, he is lying and putting him in danger, and Bernard, who he sees as a bright light in his life, deserves better.

On the other hand, we don't have that much info on Bernard's past relationships outside of Darla/Laura and Tim, but it's still easy to see that this boy is overflowing with self-deprecation.

In both Batman: Urban Legends and Tim Drake: Robin we see that his parents are, in the first one, very unaware of his life, and, in the second one, incredibly disapproving of his 'lifestyle' and even borderline emotionally abusive. Bernard really never met their expectations since he was young, and while he seems almost dismissive of this, you can tell it strikes him deep.

The one big thing we know about Bernard is the cult, and that already tells us everything we need to know. No one joins a cult if they have lot of self-love and confidence, especially not when the cult's main idea is to let go of all your problems through torture.

So when Tim, a guy he's had a crush on for years, someone he knows (or eventually finds out, the timeline is ambiguous) is not only a superhero, but his favorite superhero, Robin, he sees himself as dirty. As tainting Tim's heroism. Bernard is a likely depressed queer kid who fell victim to a cult, who has a history of self harm, with a bad relationship with his parents. To him, Tim is the one good thing in his life, and he says it outright even when they are having what's possibly their first big fight (unbeknownst to Tim, who, as I mentioned, is a dumbass <3).

He doesn't blame Tim at all for lying or keeping a secret identity, because Bernard sees himself as second to Robin in Tim's eyes and never once tries to fight back on that idea. Bernard considers Robin to be more important than himself, in general, and doesn't see anything wrong with that. To Bernard, Tim is the best thing that has ever happened to him, and the fact that they're dating is a blessing he doesn't believe he deserves.

In conclusion, these should like. Talk to each other. Please. And also both go to therapy. They love each other so much

[taliesin-the-bored]

"What's the deal with Taliesin?"

A somewhat lengthy ramble about the most powerful (or most arrogant) character in Arthurian legend

One the one hand, his powers exceed Merlin’s—Merlin describes himself as “second only to Taliesin” (in “Ymddiddan Myrtin a Talyessin”), and Taliesin claims to have profound knowledge of the cosmos dating back to Creation (he says poetic inspiration was created at the same time as fresh milk, dew, and acorns). He knows everything and can shapeshift into pretty much anything, if the catalogues he gives are anything to go by. He survived being swallowed alive, being thrown in the sea ("Ystoria Taliesin"), and (it seems) going on a raid of the Otherworld during which all but seven of Arthur’s many warriors died ("Preiddeu Annwn"). Then or at some other point while he was in Annwn, he pierced 8,000 men with spears he got from Heaven ("Cad Goddeu"). That puts his casualty count above that of anyone else I can think of in Arthurian legend (They fall "by the hundred" to Bedwyr--"Pa Gur"--but by "forty score hundred" to Taliesin). For all we know, he's indestructible; from what he claims, he's omniscient.

On the other hand, he sometimes seems like Sir Kay Xtreme Bard Edition with Extra Arrogance. In The Book of Taliesin, he has a really bitter (one-sided?) feud with other scholars and monks (some variant on "pathetic men of letters” appears many a time), who he accuses of ignorance because they don’t know the answers to various questions he never gives the answers to himself, and he loses or alienates everyone until the only person who visits him is a dude named “Goronwy, from the dales of Edrywy” ("Cad Goddeu"). Not much is known about this Goronwy, though it’s been speculated that he’s the speaker in “Claf Abercuawg”, in which case he’s an ailing societal outcast and probably couldn’t get anyone to talk to him except Taliesin. There’s a strong pathos to this—time, and maybe hubris, came with a fall, leaving him somewhat like a washed-up starlet or a burned-out wunderkind, abandoned now that he’s no longer the shiny new thing.

On the third hand, which I don't have but Taliesin could probably manage if he felt like it, much of this is from his point of view, and we have no way to prove he's telling the truth. When he tells his own origin story, he claims that he was Frankensteined together by enchanters at the dawn of time. This flatly contradicts "Ystoria Taliesin", so either there are multiple canons for his life story, he's talking as the Awen rather than as himself (in which case he's still contradicting himself--he also says it's a creation of the Lord), or he's lying about some of it. Why he would want to is anyone's guess, since he is quite powerful regardless.

If we don't take Taliesin at his word about his ability to kaiju battle giant toad monsters ("Cad Goddeu"), or take it with a grain of salt, then what are his accomplishments apart from self-preservation and repaying a life debt to Elphin? I am by no means an expert on him, but in what I've read, he does almost nothing in anyone else's story. It's almost like, apart from one or two times, he isn't able to find a way to use his powers for anyone else's good.

Then again, what is his primary power? Shapeshifting seems obvious (too obvious). He uses it for self-preservation (which is valid), for the heck of it (maybe), and/or for really dubious ends (see "Angar Kyfundawt" if you really must know, but trust me, you don't want to). Fighting is a less talked about ability of his. He can cause a lot of destruction (according to himself). It's not really clear what he fights for, though the various legendary kings he hangs out with are probably implied. Then, there's...

...the Awen. Inspiration. Poetry. He can do poetry, and he can do it very well. That is what he boasts about the most, and his boasts seem pretty justified. He’s Taliesin Ben Beirdd, Taliesin “Chief of Bards”, not Taliesin “the Shapeshifter” or Taliesin “Best of Warriors”, even though he may be both of those things. Shapeshifting only benefits him, and he's seen the horrors of war more than most people: his close friend Merlin killed his own nephew in a battle. When Taliesin fights, he kills terrifying numbers of people, maybe without full control (whether he's fully cognizant while he's using his powers is an interesting question which I won't get into right now). Perhaps that's why he doesn't interfere with others' adventures much: he is too powerful to do less harm than good for the people around him and for the narrative tension. Or maybe he just doesn't feel like it, or he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or they just don't want him there anymore, or his role as a teller of stories is more important than his role as a person in them. 

[stephsageek]

[urlocalwormtoday]

are you proud 🥹

Look at these rocks. Just look at them. Look at the way I organized them (left)

It's so perfect

I'm gonna cry

[sainz100]

upcoming Carlos x chess content soon ❤️♟️✨

[euphreana]

In other news, I just overhauled my website - it now has every comic I've made in the past year, and then some! Check it out!

[best-enemies]

You know what I don't see people talking about enough? Catherine and Warrick. Yeah, they're good colleagues and friends but at the same time they have this insane chemistry that drives me up a fucking wall every time they share a moment. And they do feel an attraction to each other, as has been shown many times (Catherine being jealous when Warrick got married and wondering what could have been, that scene when she nearly falls and he catches her...). I know they had to follow the rules but god they had such a good relationship and worked so well together. I loved their scenes, including the platonic ones.

[ley-med]

Hello.I’m seriously considering the ICU specialty.Can you tell me please some advantages and disadvantages of it ? :) Im pretty coolheaded,love to solve probs and small invasive procedures are ok ,too for me.. How does a life at ICU look like? I was on an ICU placement just once in my life as an internal medicine resident ,as a student ,and the work there really fascinated me.. Intubations,monitors,cardio versions.. Is it possible to specialise just in intensive care but not in anesthesiology?Thank You!

Hi Anon! You prompted me to ramble about one of my favourite things, my job, so sorry, long answer ahead...

To start with your last question, I know there are countries where intensive care and anaesthesiology are different specialities, but here it's one and the same. It is kind of possible to choose one or the other once you are an attending, and work at the right place, but you have to specialise in both. I started this residency because I was interested in intensive care, but my rotations started with anesthesia, and not gonna lie, I absolutely fell in love! Now doing both, I still say anesthesia is the real love of my life, and I can't imagine doing only intensive care without the relief anesthesia brings to it.

The pros of intensive care is that it's rarely dull, and when it's dull, the patient usually gets admitted back to their ward soon (yay!) (or you know, unfortunately there isn't much else to do for them, then the end of the story is near). It's important to like invasive procedures, because as they say, where there is a hole there's a tube, and where there is no hole, there will be... My favourite part about ICU is that we get to see and treat the patient as a whole human being, not just one organ or the other, because humans are a very complex system and you usually can't focus only on one part. Our job is mostly trying to hold up various balances, which will lead to the balance on the fine line between life and death. It is pretty exciting, in my opinion, but most of all, I just love knowing all these things about the human body. (And there is so much more I need to know...)

If you come from internal medicine, that's a huge advantage, but you will need to forget half of what you know. We don't really care about the long term stuff, we are always working in the present. It all needs to be done (almost) immediately, and needs to have an (almost) immediate effect. If we need some longer lasting solutions, we will absolutely consult medicine :) (Though in our hospital, we don't have any internal med wards, so it's usually the intensivists who get consulted for internal med questions anyway... But no we don't know everything, so far from it)

And many times, it's really only supporting the body until it heals on its own, with a little help here and there. Intensive care is really only about buying time...

The cons of intensive care, is that the stakes are always really really high. It's either an enormous win, which is one of the best feelings in the world, but most of the time, it all ends in death anyway, no matter what you do. Sometimes it feels like I just got a first class seat to watch people's suffering, without any way to help. I don't have any statistics at hand, but I would say 70% of our patients don't leave our ICU alive. We do what we can, but we aren't gods, and we can't cheat death. It can be really taxing, because while providing palliative care is just as important as any other kind of care, seeing gruesome death after gruesome death takes its toll, mental health wise. And that's why I say thank god it's a joint speciality with anesthesia, because when it all gets too much, a day in the OR will fill you up with instant successes (hopefully). When my patient wakes up and smiles at me, because they were so afraid but the dreaded surgery is finally over and they are alive? Always makes the world a brighter place.

One of the hardest parts for me, that sometimes you have to play god in this field, no matter how much you don't want to. The number of patients we can admit to the ICU is a definite number, so we have to decide who gets this chance at survival, and who to spare this torture. It's good that I'm still a resident, and the attending will make the final call, but nonetheless it is our responsibility...

On the bright side, this responsibility also brings me into the position of command sometimes, even if I'm only a mere resident. If they call me in for a consult, or if I end up in a situation which turns into an emergency, I am the team leader, and if I say come on we are putting our shoulders into saving this patient, everyone will work under my hands without a complaint.

This is all a teamwork. I think the whole of medicine is, but it applies to the ICU and OR tenfolds. Most ICU nurses aren't made of some delicate thing, it can be hard to earn their help, but without that, you are lost. Intensive care patients need constant supervision, and the nurses are the ones who are with them, they are the ones who know each beat of the patients' heart, they will be the ones constantly administering life saving medicines, and they will save your (and the patients') ass several times. And in cases where they are needed, we are dependent on our surgeons and traumatologists, because no matter how much we support this or that organ, as long as they don't work their magic, it's all a lost cause. (Honestly, sometimes you have to just stand there in awe, when you are thinking it's all lost, and they come up with such an ingenious solution...) Same in the operation room, it's a constant conversation and a very delicate cooperation between anesthesia, surgery, and the nurses.

To sum it up, it's all pretty hard work, with long 12 hour shifts that sometimes feel like 5 minutes because you just can't sit down and everyone is trying to die on you, and in the end you will find that the answer isn't that much different from internal medicine, it's usually either: oxygen, morphine, fluids, and or furosemide; you just have to figure out which one. And at times, figuring out isn't that exciting, it can consist of elevating the PEEP on the ventilation machine every hour or so, and hoping for the best. Those 12 hours will be the longest, with nothing to do, only waiting, and waiting...

[bilestat]

[quarterprioritymidnight]

oh??!?

[stopthefeeling]

2:1 in BSc (Hons) Animal Management and Welfare ✅

[f4m0u5m0n573rzz]

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

Bonus points if you explain why in the tags!

[agnesandhilda]

*through tears* yeah ms. hayter. a man WILL break your back like it is nothing and he WILL not ask your forgiveness but you will have to forgive him. still

[the-ravensclaws]

Likely the ONLY time I'm going to post this cosplay here as this account is specifically for Hardbroom, but I'm really excited with how my Lilith Clawthorne cosplay turned out!

@/merlynne.fae on tiktok and insta

Audio: Little Girl Gone- Chinchilla

[bigmanroykent]

i miss royjamie