#and I have so much work to do this weekend 😭😭😭😭
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Woked an 8 hour shift
#i work so much next week too help 😭#Why did i do this 😭#at least i finally have a day off tomorow and can catch ip#catch up on my#my duties such as uploading the vlog i made on like Tuesday which feels like weeks ago now Months even#i cant type or read rn#being a cashier during non stop seasonal weekend rush is really. something#and its not even decemeber yet omg 😭
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My roommate has not been to work in like two weeks atp……
#like. girl. you better still have a fucking job#two months from now idgaf what you do but you’re paying your share of the fucking bills#she talks so much about how she fucking hates her job and wants to quit#(which y’know I understand truly I do)#however she does strike me as the type of dumbass to just do that with no backup plan#because it just doesn’t make her ‘happy’ there#also it’s just fucking annoying like can I have a day. where you’re just not fucking here. to relax 😭#she always had weekends off and I always worked weekends#so I always got to look forward to having my days off to myself#but WHY the FUCK have you not been at work a single day I’ve been off in weeks now#okay. Christmas off. makes sense. WHAT ABOUT ANY OF THE FUCKING OTHERS#also she has not paid me for the electric bill of WiFi despite them being due in like. three days#I’m going to fucking kill her I swear to god if this bitch quit her job and doesn’t fucking pay me her share of the bills…..#oh it’s so fucking over#I would also like to stress that like. she’s not sick she has nothing else going on#no actual reason to not go to work#so why. THE FUCK. are you not there#and using all your free time trying to convince me to go to bars with you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#oh this month cannot end fast enough I need out of here before I fucking go insane#kaz rambles
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As a lazy person, nothing make me more frustrated than when I start cleaning to avoid thinking. Like why am I giving myself extra chores
#lindsay speaks#uhhhh bus doesn't run on weekends...... and i have like 5$#I'm gonna ask to be picked up ughhh.... ts is so embarassing#i CAN walk to work but my ankles can hardly hold up just walking to the bus stop ;;; the thing is that they're chronically fucked bcs I'm on#my feet 8-10 hrs a day. so they're strained muscles + left one is straight up sprained 😭#shit hurts if i walk 3 miles on the shoulder of the highway#it's already embarassing because i keep having to ask coworkers for rides home (bus only runs in the morning) or i walk the 3 miles home#meanwhile i can't pay rent until i get paid on the 20th...#i also can't buy groceries rn so I'm just eating food from work 🙃 i gotta stick with it until the 20th. two weeks.#then my next paycheck is the 3rd. that means that paycheck will go towards my next rent too#so on jan 17th I'll finally be able to buy groceries!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳#I'm trying to pick up hours so that i can get them sooner BUT!!! that money will have to go to paying for my commute so that I'm not begging#for rides or walking a strenuous road for eight fucking weeks everyday.#had to get that off my chest because i do be suffering!!!!!!! I'm alone n it's hard as hell as usual.#i mean i have my friends i love very much !! but i don't have anyone to talk to. like if i talk about it i feel gross & pitied. ugh. and#i want to talk to friends and not!!! think about how shitty things are#ughhhhhh anyway
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Absolutely adore your little comic with Pepperman. He's one of my favorite characters and I feel like people always characterize him as some intentionally hateful person. He just lacks a filter and comes across as annoying! He's so special to me as someone who struggles from the same unfiltered habit.
Fun fact: Mcpig mentioned a while back that the only reason Pepperman and Peppino aren't friends post-game is because Pepperman struggles to enter the pizzeria due to his massive size. Poor guy :')
This is 🥺💖 I think it is a very fitting personality trait. Its that thing about weaknesses in a character being seen as a strength and vice versa (when ur making ur own characters and getting stuck on fleshing them out). Like he is clearly shown as someone who is self absorbed; obsessed with his own appearance, and can easily be dispatched when seeing even a glimpse of his own visage.
But like on the flipside, that can be seen as a positive by deciding its Not him being obsessed with himself, but rather, him being obsessed w beautiful and wondrous things. Things that get his heart racing and make his artistic drive flare. Shamelessly in love with his own beauty is ALSO him being shamelessly in love with anything that is beautiful. No filter! He just says what he says! And like I do think he would be a bit of an ass and a bully bc I think of him and the noise as spoiledt brats who are just used to getting their way. But i like the idea of Pepperman knowing when hes met his match. Since he cant fight and pay his way to get Peppino to do what he wants, he will try more unorthodox methods. Like. Beg. He is just lucky Peppino is completely disarmed when being praised, bc otherwise baring his wants and still being rejected would probably obliterate his ego 😭
#answered#//#///#////#/////#pepperman#also that is so silly what do u mean hes too big to fit in the pizzeria 😭#like okay i can def see that; in my head; pepperman still has to bend down to fit through the double doors#but are u telling me peppino never leaves the pizzeria??#they can be buddies outside of work 😭😭😭#peppino is like super okay w this arrangement too#the art sessions#he gets to go to the countryside and take a proper weekend vacation#he gets fancy food and wine#he gets waited on hand and foot by fancy butlers#its a bit much; hes a modest man who enjoys his little house and making his own meals#but its fun to experience it#pepperman is like you can LIVE here and youd be well taken care of !#bc then he can have peppino there as inspiration all the time! and he knows this human lives in some rinky dink house; surely this would be-#-an upgrade! but hes almost crestfallen and mostly confused that peppino would pass up on that offer#‘at least let me compensate you somehow; i can pay you per session!’#‘n-no thats not. thats not-a necessary-#‘how much is it to lease that restaurant of yours? 30 Grand? 60?? Tell me. ill pay a tenth of that every session!’#like peppino would explode i think#he still wouldnt want to take so much money but like….house upgrade…..#pepperman obv doesnt get why hes refusing; and he doesnt know how it sounds to say’please live with me where i can take care of u-#-and draw you whenever im able to’ so hes like. well all i have is money and art….you have to take one of these….please 😭
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#i have been kind of irregular on here... mainly because ive been forgetting to take pictures of my day 😭#its holiday for voting day today so its also the start of a long weekend#turns out i have a million things to complete for uni and i cant find a single right way to track them...#im also afraid that setting up a tracker at this point is taking away from the time i do have to spend on work... but idk man#kind of panicking.... i have internals for a few extra credits on on monday then finals for the same subjects on friday#and my guide also wants a report of all my internship progress on her desk by monday morning... so its a bit....#i also need to prep to write gre before i move out the country for my masters... i wont have time once my classes start again#yeah. its a whole thing...#i also need to read up on the candidates in my area before i go vote so theres just so much to do one after the other...
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#not snz#more musings 📝 / mini vent:#not sure why my social battery is so limited 😭 and also so inconsistent#i feel like i can't sustain the amount of... like continued/consistent enthusiasm i see others giving esp in group settings#i just don't know how to engage in that way without burning out#over the past few weeks i've been stuck in like#a strange state where i can't muster the energy to properly respond to even the people i'm most excited to reply to#which is strange??#(and if that is you i am sorry 😭 i love you and i will get back to you)#i think i can't even like manage to get myself into the mindset of enjoying something for myself (eg. a conversation with a friend)#i think a part of it is the stress from work leeching into my personal life#i feel like i've been working so hard and for such long hours but its the kind of work where the progress i've made is very hard to track??#:( i just want to be off of ******* work so i can work on ******* work again#i also want to get ahead enough on everything in my life so that i write y+v D:#i feel like i haven't had a properly restful day in weeks... even over the weekend i was busy attending to others' needs#i just want a break from it all... but i dont have enough time to take off... but i dont know how much more of this i can take#i remember also feeling during uni like i was drowning#like there were simply not enough hours in a day to deliver everything i promised. it's such an awful feeling#i just feel defeated. like i've felt exhausted for weeks and weeks on end and like i spend every waking hour working on something or other#but ofc there is nothing to do but to keep at it 😭 other people can handle all of this and more#there are so many people i refuse to let down
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I have not had a great day. I slept for like 15 hours total - got out of bed, ate breakfast, and immediately fell asleep on the couch (apparently that's normal for me now). woke up, ate dinner and watched TV for an hour. and then got the worst headache I've had in ages. so I had to spend nearly 4 hours lying in the dark and quiet just waiting for it to get better. now it's okay-ish, but still not good enough to actually do anything, so I'm just listening to an audiobook.
#I get so frustrated when I can't do anything#but. we did kind of a lot (for me) of work around the apartment this weekend so I guess I should've expected this#I still hate it though.#it's not fair that I can do so little already and then I ALSO can't even do things every day#😭😭😭#literally how am I supposed to have a life like this#genuinely like. when I have a doctor's appointment that's all I get done in a week. it exhausts me so much. but I'm supposed to find a#job and go to work at least a few days a week.... HOW? 😭😭😭#feeling super stressed again so that's awesome#personal
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one more day............. just one more day of work.......... i can make it through I've note day..... right???
#im so fjsjcjjsd#what im doing at work isn't even HARD. like. at ALL.#but it's anxiety inducing for me bc i feel like I'm constantly messing up 😭 even when I'm not actually#and just. hhhhhhhh. PLEASE get my ass back on a line i am BEGGING.#but one more day. and then the weekend.#i have to put in my days off requests fUCK#SIGH#TOO MUCH TO DO TOMORROW >:((#shh ac
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Pookums I really super duper need u to talk to me and distract me from my work
Um um
Anal penetration
#moony 🌕#Very irresponsible of you 🙄#Luckily I really don't have much work to do!!#My grades are good rn but uh#I'm incredibly burnt out 😭#ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THE WALKING I HAD TO DO THIS WEEK SMH IT'S LIKE THESE BITCHES WANTED ME TO GO EVERYWHERE 🙄🙄#at least I got a bunch of free food from people's lunches 😋#No bc I was able to get 2 people's pizza crusts (bc they're weirdos) and eat yummy yummy#Also NO READING THE STUPID ASS BOOK FOR YHOS WEEKEND!!! :D#I read really fast so I was able to complete chapters 7-12 of chasing Vermeer in like 40 minutes (*´ω｀*)
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dunno if this is just placebo effect but I do feel like it's already helping a bit. usually at work I'm fighting for my life trying to write emails or ask ppl for things bc I find it so hard to put my words in order in a way that makes sense to other people but it's been 100% fine.. and I've managed to just Do every task I need so far without rly needing to think..... I feel so calm wtf
#can't really tell if I have any side effects so far. apart from dry mouth but I had that yesterday.. I think im catching my roommates cold#also a bit sweaty but thats bc we STILLLLLL dont have functional AC at work and im working with an 80c water bath this morning 😭#its like a sauna in here rip#my stomachs being weird but then again when is she not. and its usual for me to get the shits on my period#so nothing definitive......#maybe sounds strange but I also just feel more aware of my environment. normally when im walking around I look at the ground a lot#but this morning on my walk from the bus stop I realised I wasnt doing that. actually maybe first time ive even noticed I DO do that#its too early to tell if this IS from meds but we'll see the next few days.. im glad i took it on a work day bc its much easier to see-#how it might affect me. i think last time i wasnt sure if there was any effect bc it was a weekend so i didnt have much i needed to do#but also last time i didnt have any side effects until the insomnia hit so we'll see how bad tonight is 😝 at least its a friday so if-#i cant sleep i can just play elden ring its whateverrrr#.diaries
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lmao so i think the other girl working for my client is about to get fired for trauma dumping and making out of pocket passive aggressive comments constantly akdnakjds why can’t anyone just be fucking N O R M A L
**also pls excuse the typos in my tags omfg i’m so annoyed that i can’t type ahahahHAHAHA
#IM NOT EVEN JIRNAL BUT LIKE#AT PEAST JORNAL ENOUGH TO WORK THIS JOB#THATS LITERALLY THE EASIEST FUCKING JOB IN EXISTENCE#i don’t get it???? would you rather work in fucking retail making $7-12/hr#or make $50/hr walking dogs and running light errands that don’t even take up the whole day#so you have the entire afternoon and evening to do whatever tf you want#also#DONT TRAUMA DUMP ON PPL EAPECIALLY WHEN THEYRE PERMANENTLY DISABLED#JFC#people are so fucking selfish and weird and incapable of doing literally anything ever i’m so FLABBERGASTED#by the goddamn attitudes of the people coming thru working for my client#she’s literally the nicest person ever and they’re all so fucking????? miserable and jealous and have SO much hate and anger in them#it’s always the good people who attract these pieces of shit is2g 😑#apple babble 🍎#non fandom#jfc never in my LIFE have i ever encountered so many people who are just#totally incompetent#this isn’t even a ‘nobody wants to work’ thing bc i’m an anarchist & of course i get that#but this isn’t a corporate job#it’s just a pure cash hustle where you play with puppies & get to listen to music all day while shopping#lmFAO#PLS EXPLAIN TO ME WHATS SO TERRIBLE ABOUT THAT#HOW IS THIS JOB HARD PLS FILL ME IN#BC I DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND#FFFFFF#and i hope my client at least doesn’t fire her before this next weekend#bc i have plans with a new friend and i rlly do t wanna cancel 😭#NORMAL NOT JIRLMAL#OR WHATEVER#i don’t have autocorrect on and i can’t type for shit sorry
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i need friends /gen (slight rant in tags)
#xelle.txt#i noticed i don't really have a permanent circle of friends. at least irl#i have one online but they're also busy and i just can't dedicate my time to one friend group#i don't know - it's just the people i thought who were nice turned out to be the exact opposite#and when i found out about that i just kinda. lost interest in making any more friends#my partner is the only person i interact with on a daily basis. the irl friend group i was referring to earlier i'm not exactly close with-#-them either#i feel like if i didn't only give my time in nurturing my romantic relationship i would have done the same for my platonics too#that's still a problem of mine. my time management between love life and friends. heck i even got myself into an unsolvable problem because-#-of my inability to stay consistent#also my brain is kinda fried from reading 20+ pages so pardon any grammatical errors but yeah anyway#honestly i've been craving for interaction here. but i know i won't be active and it'd just be pointless#to gain more friends or followers. i don't exactly make content as consistently as i did before#the other day i had to vent to an ai (would you believe me if it was cha.tgpt) about my troubles because i had no one else to talk to lol#there's just so much going on irl 😭 ya girl's almost starting college and they're throwing so much tasks at us!!#and i feel very very stressed about it because they're usually done in groups i am ALWAYS the assigned leader#which gets exhausting especially when there are lazy members present#anyway#hopefully this weekend i get some time to cool off. but next week i'm back to grinding and working#lol i don't even think i'm in the top ranks anymore. i'm so burnt out.#this is what being an academic achiever gives you oops ZZHSIAHAHAJAHHS#imma sleep now 😭#idk you can just interact with me or recommend someone you know who self ships in the same medias i do#goodnight everypony 🫶#vent tw#rant tw
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yapping aimlessly tonight
#jaerambles#i just have a lot in my brain!!#anyway i keep getting asked what i would want to do in an ideal situation. if money and time and stuff were no object#i really do think it would be just aimless learning.#like learning new crafts. reading without having to respond to it. sponging up knowledge without the expectation to Say Things#it feels a bit. selfish.#but i don’t really have an endpoint to reach nor do i have something to say. like i just want to acquire experiences and learn things#i get really nervous when people ask me what makes me happy because i don’t know. i know what makes me uncomfortable and scared though#i would also like the ability to just change my situation a lot as much as i want. moving to new places and leaving when i don’t like them#trying new professions without having to stick to them or work up a ladder#drop everything for a weekend to go see friends. things like that.#i say all these things as though i haven’t been too afraid to leave my house for the past 6 months djfjdjfjdjfjjd#i’m trying to be less avoidant lately though. like ideal situations are not my reality!#real life is me being too scared to think of possibilities so in reality i just have to take the tiniest steps back to normalcy#ppl with the jae lore remember when my commute to school was literally 5000 miles#or when i worked two jobs and was so about the grind because i had a reason to want the money#like i used to have So much going on. and now i don’t. and i don’t know what i am in the absence of being Busy#there’s still so much i don’t understand abt bpd1 i’m so scared of making changes too suddenly because i HATE who i was in august#or not who i was. what i was doing.#but now i’ve swung the other direction and i do nothing 😭 i don’t feel like i’m Living rn#i feel like i’ve started all over again. i almost had it i was gonna do two internships and keep doing my cute little barista job#and have a senior year that was gonna be about growing and finishing strong#and then of course my maladjusted ass sees [irreversible change event] and like. yknow#this keeps. happening to me. i want to be so much better than this 😭😭😭
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every year I’m like this is the year I’m gonna do smth silly and funny with my ocs for April fools and every year. I don’t 😔
#in my defense I had an exhausting weekend and also work today 😭#but this month I WILL do more art *shakes fist* this is usually the best time of the year for me art wise too#winter depression GONE. may depression NOT here yet#aprils good…..#love u spring….#and at least we got Boops#🐾#sanchoyorambles#um I mean I HAVE been drawing pretty much daily since I got home from vacation BUT it’s only comic stuff so not stuff I’ll post here yk??#comic site only ✌️😔
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now really is NOT the time for me i be getting sick <//3
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Imagine if either Olli or Aleksi (or maybe both??) is used to sleeping with someone and just can’t fall asleep without another person and of course a bro helps another bro out and volunteers to cuddle but oops feelings
(also may I introduce this collection of them cuddling 🥰)
noooooooo that's one of my favourite tropes!! 😭💞
and why not combine this with the 'coming up with excuses to sleep together' trope because 🥺💞💕💓💗💕💞💕 the excitement of getting under the covers, the wondering if the goosebumps on the other's skin is just because they're feeling cold or something else... the perfect excuse to cuddle closer anyway 🥰
#(i saw your other ask too but to me it seems these are the exact same pics? 😅)#also since you're here - a little update on the olli/allu fic i'm writing:#i got stuck with a scene and will probably have to start all over since that's how i work lol#but i've been unwell lately because of my period + i had another busy weekend so i haven't been able to 😭#i get these awful migraine-like headaches before/during/after my period#just terrible headache that doesn't necessarily go away even with painkillers. the kind of headache that makes you wanna throw up#and this time i've gotten that both before AND during (usually it's just one of those options) 🥲#and i'm so frustrated because i really want to write olli/allu making out (and maybe doing something else) on the beach 😭#i just love them so much 🥺💕#but i can always try again tomorrow eh?#thanks for putting all this cuteness in my askbox again! much needed 😭💖#ollixallu#answered asks#sparfloxacin
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