#and I have not been able to recover

[bonemeal12]

The thing that currently makes me really happy also happens to be inherently intertwined with the thing that is making me incredibly sad and that is a very awkward combination

[tentacle-therapissed]

manga Light: *loses 10 pounds in the first 5 days of using the Death Note and is constantly plagued with nightmares over the guilt of what he is doing*

drama Light: *literally tries to kill himself because he can't come to terms with the fact that he murdered two people who were directly endangering his loved ones*

anime Light, approximately 15 seconds after using the Death Note for the second time: this is great actually now I don't even have to join the police force in order to murder criminals

[dkettchen]

in a nutshell

[harboretum]

Sea witch

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

forever thinking about johanna shooting fogg and what it says for both her and anthony as characters

because the whole show, from the very first scene, we've been set up to see anthony and sweeney as parallels of one another; anthony is sweeney back when he was benjamin, he's full of hope, he's in love (with a woman who looks almost identical to lucy), and then he gets that love brutally ripped away by judge turpin

in 'no place like london' sweeney says: "you are young, life has been kind to you-- you will learn" and by the point in the show where anthony is going to rescue johanna we're almost inclined to agree with him

except anthony cannot shoot the gun, he's not like sweeney in that he cannot kill another person even if it was to save someone he loved. anthony is never going to become sweeney todd.

and then we realize that we've been looking at the wrong person the whole show, and it's so obvious it's laughable: johanna shoots the gun.

johanna who has been raised to be silent and obedient and perfect, johanna who, without knowing the half of it, has had everything taken away from her by judge turpin, her mother, her father, and her freedom. johanna who we've been led to believe is the lucy to anthony's sweeney.

she is fully justified in shooting fogg, no one could fault her for it, but she doesn't even hesitate.

in that moment she is her father's daughter.

that isn't to say that I think johanna is going to go on a killing spree after the musical, obviously, but it's such a fascinating scene in terms of their development: because despite it all anthony is still the same, and because of it all johanna is not

anthony is the last bit of hope left in the story, and johanna is the last bit of sweeney

[tree-obsession]

I AM NOT OKAY DEAR GOD IT'S BEEN HOURS AND I AM STILL WEEPING

his gentle face??? the soft, delicate, kind voice and his eyes visibly softening even more and the real, genuine little smile as he blesses his younger self with his sister's voice in the background.

hoyo why do you hurt us like this it's going to consume my thoughts for DAYS now

[pinkinsect]

Pissing me thefuck off All by yourself Handsome ?

[moonlit-orchid]

These two lines in the movie make me the most mentally unwell.

"I should have been the one to go. You needed your mother more than you needed me."

The amount of layers to this, oh my god. He's blaming himself for being alive. He probably wants to die. He genuinely thinks Adrian needs Emilie more.

And it's been YEARS since Emilie's passed away. Look how tiny Adrian is over there, he only just about comes about the bedpost. Gabriel still looks like he did in the pictures of when Adrian was little. It's been literal years. It could have literally been a full decade ago.

And Gabriel breaks the narrative here. He's supposed to be telling a story, he's supposed to be saying what happened in the past. But at this point, he doesn't say "your mother was taken from us" or anything like that referencing Emilie's passing. The story breaks, he's using a statement. I should have been the one to go. It's completely out of the story, because he isn't saying what he felt then, there's no "I felt like I should have been the one to go". It's just "I should have been."

Because he still thinks this. It's been about a decade, and his opinion, his feelings about this, is still "I should have died". It interrupts his storytelling because of how strongly he feels this way, almost like it's a fact to him.

And then he follows it with "You needed your mother more than you needed me." Again, he says this like it's a fact, like Adrian actually did need his mother more. Because he believes it himself. And this could be because of so many things. It could be because of the way people consider the mother to be the one supposed to care for the children much more than the father, or it could be that Gabriel himself didn't see how much Adrian needed him, or even that Gabriel didn't see himself as useful to Adrian. Especially because he said he should have been the one to die. He's essentially saying he was useless. That he was expendable but Emilie wasn't. He literally is implying he doesn't see any worth in himself regarding being a father.

And then it's not just his grief, it's Adrian's grief that has him desperate to bring Emilie back. He literally doesn't care about himself, he wants his son to be happy and doesn't see himself as able to do that. He loves him to the point of being suicidal and self-sacrificing if it would give Adrian what he need, all while simultaneously not seeing himself as what Adrian needs because he doesn't think he has that much worth regarding him.

[syndrossi]

Introducing Project: Return of the Buffer:

Aka "I have the time anyway" + "NaNoWriMo is shutting down so I'll have to do my own tracking and charts."

For those who weren't around in the early days, this is how I wrote the first 120,000-ish words of Resonant! I created a project in NaNoWriMo and aimed for 1,000 words a day and basically hit that or better almost every day for several months. Roughly 60K words in was when I started posting (a "buffer" of 12 chapters).

My writing pace at the time meant that I could post 2x a week every week without running out of a buffer for quite a long time, since I was writing about 1.2 chapters a week. I eventually ran out of steam around ch18, and went to once per week posting. The burnout hit hard, and I eventually chewed through the buffer even at the once per week rate, and that's how we ended up with fairly random updates on a monthly-ish cadence.

But like I said, I've got time now, so I've set up a mini "sprint" of thirty days for 30K words. I'm planning to post at least the next chapter during that span, but I intend to hold onto the buffer in the hopes of maintaining it this time. (Life is so much easier with the buffer. I can hit a rough patch, plot-wise, and correct things / shift things / rewrite entire blocks.)

I also am someone who enjoys setting and hitting goals when I'm not in active burnout. The pressure can be useful, honestly. I did so much more [finish scene] [figure out what the gifts are] [research hawking] etc placeholders early on. It's easier to find the motivation to go back and fill in those placeholders when the rest of the chapter is done, vs getting stuck in a spot and just staying there. The 1000 / day goal means you're not allowed to get stuck. Gotta move on and make word count!

[kawaii-kushami]

having one of those mid-20s moments where you're like well damn. im really not a teenager anymore i dont hate myself anymore actually. like its insane

sorry i gotta ramble but this feels too silly to post anywhere else

[voilaammayi]

victor trevor, the only person sherlock had been at least vaguely friends with in college, just said in front of him and john hamish watson that he’s in between boyfriends and my life has not been the same ever since

[christiangeistdorfer]

HENRI TOIVONEN, JUHA KANKKUNEN, CHRISTIAN GEISTDÖRFER, TIMO SALONEN & MARKKU ALÉN in a lift while waiting for WALTER RÖHRL during the 1986 RALLYE DE PORTUGAL

[minisqwish-draws-things]

Was really happy with these sketches

[lucalicatteart]

A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..

[pidgeonlaguz]

howdy!! it's been a minute but i'm still around. fair warning-- i have been lurking the whole time and have about. 100+ posts drafted 😵‍ you'll be seeing these shortly, i'll try my best to space them out as i get around to tagging them

[spookythesillyfella]

Hi, Spooky, it’s my birthday so I thought I’d message you!!!

you’re a great friend/mutual and I love high voltage and your art surrounding it along with everything else you draw, my inbox is always open if you wanna talk!!!

and a high voltage question, What’s everyone’s favorite food?

HII !!!! HI AZZIE !!!! :DDDD

I HOPE YOU HAVE A SPLENDID BIRTHDAAYY !!!!!! MAY ALL YOUR WISHEZ COME TRUE AND MAY YOU CELEBRATE ALONGSIDE YOUR LOVED ONEZ – EVEN IF THAT MAY NOT HE POSSIBLE . WE'LL BE CELEBRATING AZ WELL !!!!!! [but from afar . unfortunately >X[ ]

az for your question ... hehe ....

★ TRACEY iz a huge lover of sour gummiez . especially sour rainbow stripz [in their own wordz . they're "electrifying"]

★ SHRIGNOLD haz a huge sweet tooth . but amongst all the sweetz in the world . two stick out most of all – eclairz and macaronz

★ BRENDON haz an appreciation for salty stuff in general . and doezn't like to eat large portionz all at once – thuzly . chipz are a great fit for hiz tastez

★ LARZ likez to bake in general – itz one of the few thingz that still helpz him stay grounded – and he lovez making [and obviously eating] lemon quiche

★ SKETCHBOOKz faverite food in general iz whatever tony makez . but paper haz a particular love for cake [something that tony haz learnt to perfection in order to satisfy the youngerz cravingz]

★ TONY – az much az he likez cooking – tendz to go for very eazy-to-make mealz – you can never go wrong with food that takez little effort to make and that getz you through another depression episode ; frozen pizza and green tea are wonderful

★ COLIN likez hiz cerealz a lot – when he waz first made he thought they were quick to eat and offer energy to complete taskz . and the belief that they make him "smarter" [something that the scientistz tended to tell him when he waz getting picky] seemed to stick with him well into adulthood