#and I gotta take like breaks after it

[zabala0z]

Welcome back to “listening to TMA S5 for the first time”, Im ur host and god.

MAG 165: Revolutions

HE SAID THE THING. “Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing” HE SAID THE THING!!! Since the start of these posts, I’ve seen that quote SO MUCH and I finally got to hear it. Guys. Do you know how annoying it was that I was in PUBLIC?? I couldn’t say shit!!

I’m very happy not Sasha is dead. Bye girl! I hate you. You took such a great girl from the world.

MAG 166: The Worms

I love Martin. He is SO DOWN for all this smiting. I wish Helen was allowed to tag along like guys come on :(( she’s just a silly girl.

Ah Annabelle. What’s your game here? I wish I knew. I wish I still had my 78 pages of notes but alas, I have school. She says she wants to help them. I don’t know with what but I can’t help but think about how The Web was one of the few entities who didn’t perform a ritual.

MAG 167: Curiosity

Gertrude Robinson. God. You are such a badass but maybe you should get like a nice nap. Emma Harvey was a dick. But understandable to a degree. Also!! There was a mention of the Sandman who featured in MAG 98! Also! Michael!

“Yes Martin you are my reason” oh god. These guys are so in love it makes me sick

MAG 168: Roots

Out of all the avatars, I think Oliver Banks is the coolest. He just…does his thing. Like I’d love to hang out with him. Oliver. My man. Come on

“I’m not going to kill a man just because you’re jealous”

“Why not?!”

I think Martin’s character development was the best. Like his support for Jons smiting is amazing. I’m also really interested in Oliver’s “report”. He was very thorough. I guess the entities fear dying as much as humans. Makes sense.

Okay. That’s everything. Sorry for the slow ass posts, these episodes are heavy and school is a pain 😭 I see the next episode is related to The Desolation. Fun fact, The Desolation terrifies me. So. We’ll see how that goes. I hope we’ll see Jude! I think she’s interesting and y’know she’s not dead yet. Until next time!

[st-hedge]

Puts Elden bling doodles into ur hand

[milkbreadtoast]

some quick messy phone doodles...🔥

[biillys]

hi au where billy and max are child stars

neil auditioning billy for a (soon-to-be) beloved family sitcom as a baby, very mary-kate and ashley vibes, maybe billy getting the role for being the only baby not to cry during the auditions, and then putting him to work from basically day dot.

his mom doing her best to run interference and make sure he gets treated right, only letting him be on set for a few hours a week and making sure either herself or neil is always with him, but the older he grows and the more screen time he gets, the more the show runners and neil try and weasel their way for more time with him.

him turning five and the show airing it's fourth season, his parents marriage being over. his mom handing neil the divorce papers and walking out, then dipping her hand into his earnings (that neil has tied up in his own name) to try and buy them a future, trying to get full custody.

the divorce being messy and drawn out and public, neil having made her out to be the villain, the fans and magazines tearing her to shreds and writing headlines trying to shame her, saying she's a heartless bitch for trying to end her own child's career just as it's starting to take off.

billy getting caught in the middle, the separation and custody battle drawing out for years, him struggling to handle the fall out of his home life coming apart at the same time as the sitcom he grew up on comes to an end.

his life being a fucking mess by the time he turns eight.

having a little bit of free time then, technically being jobless. starting to explore other hobbies and interests now that he has some time and getting more into music and sports, begging for a guitar and a surfboard for his birthday, asking neil if he can join little league.

neil promising him one better, and instead, getting him auditions for disney, telling him the only thing better than playing the guitar, is playing the guitar for disney.

turning ten and being a series regular on an already airing disney show, but the execs and directors being so impressed by him that there's talks of him getting his own show.

part of him being excited, proud, but a bigger part of him being terrified.

being so scared to tell his mom cos he knows she'll cry. she used to run her fingers through his hair to lull him to sleep, hug him close and whisper about how she never wanted this life for him, how she's so sorry.

it becoming official and him getting his own show on disney.

him getting the news exactly one week after his mom walks out for good, his dad having finally won full custody, no visitation allowed.

him feeling sick to his stomach. he never thought she'd actually leave.

he never even got to tell her his news.

it not taking long for the shine of having his own show to wear off, the few things he was excited about starting to become a hassle.

starting to resent it.

hating it.

hating the lights and the cameras and the scripts and the running lines. the early mornings and the make up and the flights and the night shoots and the interviews and the press. hating the way he's always surrounded by adults, never having had an actual friend his own age in his entire life. that all the other kids he knows are pitted to him like rivals, there being always talk about ratings and viewers and timeslots. him not knowing what a friend without it being tied up in publicity and pr.

hating the fact that he has a sister on the show, but his dad and her mom end up getting close, and suddenly he's getting a step-sister in real life.

hating the way max only has to film for x amount of hours a day because she's a kid, but he has to film for longer, and thats on top of everything else he's gotta do, very miley cyrus sharing her schedule during her hannah montana years vibes.

him becoming a household name in his younger years from the sitcom, but disney cementing his fame, him being known by what feels like the entire world by the time he's in his teens.

growing up and getting into shit, experimenting with drugs and alcohol and sex, trying to find any and every escape he can. him and max always being on the outs in private, but being the picture perfect family in public.

neil being a controlling fucker, a true momager, has kris jenner on speed dial.

rebelling in every way he can, not giving a fuck what stories or pictures of him get leaked anymore, the press and public turning against him as he gets older.

his show ending and him expecting to finally feel free, except just becos the shows over, doesn't mean anything else is. suddenly the pressure starts feeling heavier, everyone asking him what he's got lined up next, if he's gonna straighten himself out, if he's gonna finally take his career seriously.

neil riding him, telling him to forget about whatever he wants to do, and do what he tells him to do instead. him having various commitments and auditions lined up for billy already, and billy being ready to end it all.

emancipating himself at age seventeen, cutting off contact with everyone.

going off the rails and living his worst life. catching the headlines and updates of maxine mayfield: now managed by neil hargrove, and shoving down the urge to call her and tell her to run, knows she won't listen to a thing he says any way. he was nothing but an asshole and a spoilt brat no good fuck up in her eyes anyway, neil making sure they never got close.

doing his best to go down the music route, feeling physically ill at the thought of acting again, but thinking maybe music could be the answer. he always liked it better. felt more comfortable with a guitar in his hands or a piano under his fingers than cameras and lights in his face.

the music industry being just as harsh and ruthless as the entertainment industry, him not getting taken seriously by anyone he needs to be taken seriously by, everyones expectations of him being so fucking high that he knows he'll never be able to meet them.

deciding he doesn't give a fuck about anything anymore, his life's never been his own to control or have any say over anyway. signing a five year contract with a well-known label, not writing a single song of his own or playing a single instrument aside from when they want him to trot out an acoustic set, and instead singing words richer people than him wrote and performing show after show after show, flying from country to country to country, barely fucking existing. the songs becoming chart toppers, like they were written to be, and selling out stadiums.

hitting rock bottom.

getting a wake up call from max of all people, her ringing to check he's still alive. him pulling the phone away to check this is an actual call and not a hallucination. putting the phone back up to his ear, asking why she's calling.

her saying happy birthday and billy realising he's turning twenty today.

them sitting in silence for a while before max finally cracks.

her telling him his dad's an asshole. billy laughing. no shit.

them hanging up, but max calling again, a month later, then again, a few weeks after that.

billy being hungover as fuck and having no idea what country he's in, but max is in a new movie, out in cinemas now, and it's a serious drama, it's fucking emmy nominated, so he calls the front desk of whatever hotel he's staying at and asks for directions to the closest cinema and before he knows it, he's going incognito, hoodie on, and watching her on the big screen, and she's so much better at acting than he ever was.

neil must be so goddamn pleased with himself.

too bad max sounds completely miserable everytime they talk on the phone.

he calls her instead of her calling him for the first time, opening the conversation with saw your movie, how much fucking overtime did you get for all those night-shoots?

before or after your dad took his cut?

billy laughs. he can't remember the last time he laughed.

ANYWAY. i was listening to robot by miley cyrus on repeat and!!!! child stars au!!!! them both being worked to the bone!!! hating each other becos they barely know each other cos they barely know themselves!!!! getting through their childhoods battered and bruised, billy coming out the other side first, max finally catching up to him a few years later. them both, one by one, cutting their parents out!!!! max taking the big screen by storm when she grows up, neil frothing at the mouth that he can't touch her money when she cuts him out!!!! billy never signing another contract again after his record deal ends, disappearing off the face off the earth!!!! slight the lucky one by tswift vibes!!!! idk!!!!!

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Me, earlier: I'm not having the best day. Cant wait to go home later after my other job. :)

Me, rn: oh today is like....a SHIT shit day.

[reallilystuff]

the expendable shitpost power hour 💪🔥🔥🔥🔥 ft. post-loop doodle for whimsy and joy that MAY be spoilers depending on how close you look. so dont squint at it too hard

textpost refs below cut

[cuttledreams-bugs]

me trying to hype myself up to posting online again despite The Horror

[tweedfrog]

New official art of Rhaegar Athur and 2 women (looks like ashara and lyanna) is so funny to me because Arthur's and Ashara are just like 🧍‍♂️ 🧍‍♀️ when your boss is seducing a 15 year old and you have to listen to him play wonderwall (medieval bard version) while a castle crumbles around you

[utilitycaster]

Do you mind talking a bit more about why you're ok with Orym's deal being cancelled? The Vax thing I already expected to be undone, but this one came so out of nowhere, especially with how Matt framed it in contrast to how Nana's power was shown in the Fearne epilogue

I expected this one to be undone. I genuinely thought that despite how dumb this campaign was, Vax staying dead was like, the one sacrosanct thing, but I had assumed from pretty early on that there was no bullshit fey trick of "technically you came back to Ria'Doin, so your companions DID survive" and that FCG's death would negate the deal. It also just like, wasn't an interesting outcome? Like pledging himself to Morri just seems like a dumb ending with nothing to work with?

I think it's fair to be frustrated because literally nothing had consequences but on some level at that point I had passed into a realm of "ah, with Bells Hells, nothing is real and nothing matters, I am free from having to give a shit about anything" so this was just more of same with the added bonus that unlike the other ignored consequences I wasn't really invested in this one playing out.

[bunnyboy-juice]

i wish i could bring all my kinky online pals together to my area to go to a play party i am part of cause i just know so many of them would LOVEEE it and I'd love the chance to regularly play with my pals also but alas. distance.

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[ssaltlicker]

So far i really dont care for the isha plotline ill be honest. It comes out of left field and feels fan-service-y. And this whole “found family uwu” direction with two of the most destructive characters in the show, and tying that to a literal child, is not my favorite.

HOPEFULLY the direction goes in the way of jinx fucking up with isha and realizing why vi did what she did and it being a contextualization thing. Because if it stays as jinx magically being well-adjusted and caring while vi falls apart and loses everything… ugh

[mars-ipan]

pjsk is sooo fun but it eats my phone alive also

[woundedheartwithin]

Back on my meds, making a damn decent paycheck despite how many days I had to take off this month, my mom’s feeling better now that she’s home and we’ve figured everything out, our neighbor’s gonna build us a wheelchair ramp for cheap, and my dad miiiiiiiiight be buying a new car as we speak 🤞 (my mom just can’t get into the truck anymore, and she hasn’t wanted to drive her two seater for a while now, so we’re trading it for something practical). Things are finally going fairly well, all things considered ❤️

[23meteorstreet]

charlie kelly - season 16

[hellishvxbes]

Seeing all the Cain and Abel talk, do yall read the Bible 😭