#and I don't like THAT because of how much black men are already feared and seen as inherently 'violent' and 'animalistic'

[bumblingbabooshka]

Stonn x T'Pring and Sybok x Angel are the only SNW ships I like. Honestly, with the way the show is written, I'm rooting more for the Gorn than the Enterprise at this point.

With how that show's writing Vulcans I'm like 70% sure they're gonna make Stonn a bad guy or make T'Pring cheat on Spock so their relationship ends with "They both cheated!" or so that Christine can comfort Spock as if he hasn't been cheating on T'Pring pretty much the entire time he's been on screen. I watched a 'short trek' I think they're called? Because I heard T'Pring was in it but it was REAAALLY bad like humor I might have laughed at in middle school...anyway T'Pring was only in it so they could make a joke where the premise was "T'Pring keeps breaking up with Spock because she falls in love with other people and Spock is SOO sad about it" and I was like Hey. Are you even WATCHING your show???? You're taking potshots at the WRONG CHARACTER. Like, even if you wanna make that joke - Christine'd make more sense because Christine and Spock ARE actually 'keeping it casual' and Christine DOES actually date around whereas T'Pring is committed to Spock in SNW and trying at every turn to make their relationship work. It still wouldn't be funny if the girl constantly breaking up with Spock was Christine but having it be T'Pring literally doesn't even make sense. You can say "it's just a funny little joke" (as people say about a lot of SNW'S issues) but T'Pring is a female character who's been viciously maligned for YEARS and if their 'jokes' or 'comedy' come at the expense of their characters or the message of ultimate togetherness and hope in the galaxy then I don't find it funny. SNW isn't supposed to be a comedy I don't know why they keep trying to be 'funny' at the price of being earnest. This isn't a marvel movie. The pro-eugenics trial, killing the disabled character, killing the chronically ill character (and framing this as a beautiful relief), 'being disabled is worse than death' messaging, turning the Gorn into horror movie killer monsters (especially when they could have just made up another species), the bioessentialism, constantly maligning Vulcans as racist bullies (with Spock's half Human blood saving him) <- Which I hate ESPECIALLY when Spock has always been a symbol for mixed people in which he struggled equally with feeling belonging in BOTH cultures whereas in SNW it feels like "If he could only be released from Vulcan's evil clutches he could be happy!" + The laziness of cheating being a plot point in so many main characters' romance stories so far. [La'an wants to be with Kirk but that'd be cheating, Spock is cheating on T'Pring with Christine, Pike sleeps with another woman in 'Lift Us Where Suffering' despite having a girlfriend <- They COULD be open but I don't think this is explained. That's Five or Six characters involved in potential cheating and more if you count M'Benga wink-nudging Spock and Christine's relationship when he most likely knows Spock is engaged to T'Pring.] I just have no faith in SNW. It doesn't feel earnest, and it doesn't feel kind and I don't want to watch a show where they'll sacrifice someone's character at any time for an ultimately meanspirited joke.

[xlillilith]

I try not to be to focus on ships much cuz they really not and shouldn't be important at all but I really haaaaaate lord and miller for teasing the possibility of margo and miles when I know they're gonna most likely just gonna turn around and force him and gw*n together despite everything that's...not good about that ship, thus making margo into the disposable black love interests which many black female characters sadly fall victim too 😔

[hana-no-seiiki]

Ohh I got soooo many ideas, like CV reader got kidnapped by black mask (I think it's red hood nemesis, am not that deep in DC comics but I know the basics) so he could have a deal or take information out of red hood using CV reader. And when Jason found out about it he was pissed but when he got there the bad guys already down because CV reader took them down.

P.s I don't mind if you use this as a reference to make a headcanon or story on contrary i would love to read it, but it's up to you!!

🎧ྀི » [ what a catastrophy ! ] «

0:00 ─〇───── 0:00

⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

tw/cw: yandere, jason being horny/implied noncon, cat villain! reader being an absolute menace and a whore as always.

pairings: yan! batfam x cat villain/vigilante! reader

note: this happens after conflict between jason and other members of batfam are resolved and at that point cat villain! is more solidly on the cat vigilante! side

“How long is this going to take exactly? I’m about to take an involuntary cat nap with how utterly slow you all are being.”

The Court of Owls were a group of people you’ve absolutely despised on every era you’ve had under your cat mask. Whether it was your wild years as Cat Woman’s protégé or when you were basically assimilated as the Batfam’s shared s/o. You could never bring yourself to like absurdly rich people that well. Much less rich people who do bad things.

For legal and safety reasons, you have to say that the Batfamily are an exception.

You don’t know how on Earth they managed to get their hands on equipment that prevented your powers from working, but it was proving to be quite the annoying conundrum.

“I’m sorry but I’m feline a little too underwhelmed by this whole kidnapping thing. Why don’t we hurry things up a little?”

MEANWHILE . . .

“Where the hell did you take them?!”

Jason slammed Black Mask unto the wall, using the backside of his arm and pressing it against the man’s chest.

The latter’s men took a defensive, alert stance. Ready to pounce on command.

But Black Mask only gestured them to stand down.

“You have to understand, the fact that I even thought of informing you of my deal is a huge risk. I could lose my biggest benefactors.” He replied, calm and polite. In contrast to the harsh kick he deals to his assailant, making Jason back off. “I’m doing you all a favor. I’m doing [Cat Villain Name] a favor.”

“They’re currently on a private island to the south. I can’t give you the exact coordinates but here’s the general location.” He tossed a flashdrive, one swiftly caught and skimmed through by Tim.

“Why are you helping us?” Damian’s mind was already calculating the best way to get rid of everyone in this room. The grip on his katana tightening by the second. He had full faith that you were capable of taking care of yourself, but it did not help with the fear of disappearance whatsoever.

He was sure that the sight of you getting hurt would lead to him going on a rampage.

“Maybe the fact that even with my help, you kids being too late would open their mind and make them come back to our side. They’d finally learn that you’re only as good for them as Batman was to —“ Damian couldn’t stop himself anymore, knocking the man unconscious as the rest of the crew took down his goons with ease. Their worry over your current condition giving them a surprising amount of efficiency as a team.

“It’ll take several hours to even get to those islands much less even find which one . . .” Tim bit his lip. He wasn’t concerned at all. He knows you inside and out. In fact, he already knew where you were exactly. All of this info gathering was just his plan to delay things so that your patience would run out and he’d get front row seats to the carnage you’d inevitably cause. After all, there was something he can always predict when it came to you.

Your unending thirst for fun and chaos.

It took about a week for them to find you. Just about enough time for you to get antsy about not seeing your beloved pets and home.

And plenty of time for you to have your fun, pretending to be hurt, crying out in feigned agony, before you finally took down your prey.

“Red Hood! Come back! We can’t just barge in—“ Dick called out to Jason.

But all Jason could think of was the way you screamed in terror. The footage of your ‘torture’ was something he had nightmares about.

“Kitty! Are you—“ He kicked the door off its hinges, guns ready to fire.

But his sights only landed on a singular breathing being in the middle of a room. Covered in the blood of your victims. Grooming yourself clean.

Each lick sending shivers down his spine.

He sighed in relief. “You really have to stop playing with your food, Kitty.”

His lips envelopes yours as the world disappears from your vision.

୨ ©️ ୧⸝⸝﹕hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2024﹐⊂☁️⊃ ‹𝟹

[marsbutterfly]

Need domestic Hanji x reader type sht. Does reader cut hanji’s hair??? Does Hanji bring home every stray?? Hanji never gave a crap about interior decorating until Y/N??? Slay??

Headcanons: Domestic Life With Hanji Zoe

a/n: i love them, your honor. i want to give them the entire world and stars and everything else this universe has to offer and then some more.

warnings: none, just fluff. you know the drill: not beta read, we die like men ♡

/ hanji never really cared about the way that they look. Sometimes, they would wear the most atrocious outfits known to men and not brush their hair for days. It wasn't until they met you that they decided to put in the effort to look their best.

/ though, they never really got the hang on how to do their hair. eventually, they just let it grow. it was nearly down to their hips and it became too hard to manage when they sheepishly ask you to cut it for them.

/ by the blush on their face and a couple of tears in their eyes, you could tell that this whole thing was just too overwhelming for them and a sensory overload. your heart was aching so badly from seeing them in such a state, you didn't even hesitate.

/ so, at 3am, you grabbed a pair of scissors and began snipping away. one inch turned to two, turned to three... turned to eleven. by the time you were done and looked down at the ground, a wave of fear washing over you as you pull away.

/ your fingers shake their hair, making sure there aren't any uneven strands and that all the loose hair would fall from their head. the first thing they say when you are done? "wow, my head feels so much lighter."

/ they look at themselves in the mirror and fall silent. you can feel the pit in your stomach forming, your breath begins to tremble as you look at them, helplessly preparing to mumble a long apology. that is until they turn around, arms wrapping around you, "I LOVE IT!!!!"

/ after that, you start trimming their hair every so often, just to make sure it would always be at this manageable length. and even then you started learning new styles, buying small clips and headbands, anything to make them look even more adorable than they already are.

/ hanji is a very hard person to wake up. opening the blinds, countless alarms, pulling the covers, not even water will work. but do you wanna know what will? the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the promise of kisses.

/ "haaaaanjiiiii" you call out every morning and, immediately, you can hear rushed footsteps coming down the stairs, their feet tripping over one another as they desperately throw on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top.

/ they drink their coffee black with AT LEAST four spoons full of sugar. do they eat in the morning? a piece of toast and then they go about their day, not drinking a single sip of water until you DEMAND that they do. they only agree because the energy drink is making their kidneys hurt, which is why you have so many variations of cranberry juice: crangrape, cranapple, just plain cranberry.

/ they don't like going to the grocery store. it's too crowded, too loud and too bright. so you are used to doing the shopping by yourself most of time, but sometimes, every so often, hanji finds themselves feeling a bit too clingy to let you go by yourself.

/ so you offer to hold their hand the entire time. and you have to keep the promise, otherwise you'll find them a sobbing mess, like a lost child almost. usually, when you get to the store, you can see how much the environment is already affecting them, so you wrap your arm around theirs as the two of you work together to push the cart.

/ when you need something from a tall shelf, hanji will hold your hand with one hand and reach up with the other. they are relatively tall so it doesn't take much but their hand must be touching yours at all times.

/ you will often try to make up fun games, like "who can pick out the most veggies in a minute?" or "how many cans can you stack in the cart before they fall" or "$1 dvd hunt and snack baskets." silly things to take hanji's mind away from the anxiety and it works like a charm every time, as long as your hands are still linked together.

/ it is a constant struggle having to keep hanji from bringing home every stray they find. the two of you already have two cats and a dog, but they insist on feeding every neighborhood animal, always building warm outside houses for them during the winter, leaving clean water outside for them every day.

/ one time, they tried to bring a racoon inside, pretending it was a cat and hoping you wouldn't notice. you screamed so loudly that both of them ran outside.

/ in past relationships, hanji was never allowed to decorate anything, or even leave a single toothbrush at their ex's house. so when you asked about colors for the walls and the curtains, they were a little shocked, maybe even a little scared.

/ at first, they try to go along with things you like or what they think you might choose if it was up to you. they do it until you get annoyed and give them only options they might like. it turns them into a blushing mess when they realize but the simple knowledge that you are so determined to make them know that this is your home TOGETHER makes them even more sure that you are the one.

/ hanji is a heavy sleeper but they roll around in bed so much that it was actually hard for you to get asleep when the two of you first started dating. at the point where you move in together, you aren't even bothered by it anymore.

/ they have a little compartment for their glasses on their bedside table, but they never use it. instead, they just throw the pair anywhere before jumping into bed with you, their eyes fixated on you, even if they can't actually see you other than the shape of your body.

/ hanji has a massive garden in the back of your house. every time the two of you travel somewhere, they gather seeds to bring home and figure out what will grow and what won't.

/ the two of you travel a lot. when it's by car, hanji is usually the one to drive while you are the one to pack the bags and snacks for the road. you are also in charge of the songs but you make sure to choose songs both of you enjoy. unless hanji pisses you off, in that case you always choose that one band they can't stand.

/ if it's by plane, you are the one who has to wake hanji up, make sure the two of you have everything, that their passport is in their hand, that there is nothing missing, that they have medicines, chargers and everything else.

/ hanji is fascinated by planes but also scared of them. they can't quite explain why, but a simple look at it causes them to freeze in place, almost like.. it's a memory. a bad one. so you make sure to hold their hand the entire time, nuzzle your head on their shoulder and just shower them with love.

/ the two of you always cuddle. even when it's burning hot, you just ditch the covers and clothes, the need to be touching each other is much higher than anything else.

/ you and hanji are always together. and when they propose, there was no other answer you could give. it was an immediate "yes ♡"

[bweeeb]

HOT THIEF

Negan Smith x Reader

Warnings: Sucking dick, age difference, Negan's ex-student, mention of sexual relations.

Summary: When the person who has been stealing from Negan's community was his student, the only way to stop her from talking to much is putting her to her knees.

Your feet crunched on the gravel, your breathing was too loud for your liking, and your hands were covered in blood from your leg, which had been scratched by a piece of log you had tripped over. — Shit. — You murmured as you climbed a tree in desperation. Stealing food from communities with weak points was never safe, and you were fully aware of that, but never getting caught was a consequence that kept you stealing. Until you were actually seen by the Saviors, a bunch of men with grotesque faces who acted like they owned everything.

— She came this way.

You heard the voices approaching and tried to climb the tree faster to hide in its canopy. However, the evident cut on your thigh made you misstep, and your bag slipped off your shoulder to the ground, catching the men's attention as they looked up and pointed their guns.

— Get down from there if you don't want to end up dead.

— I’m not a boy, asshole. — You murmured as you analyzed the situation. Maybe you would die either way, right?

— Come on, hurry up! Another shout came from below, along with the sound of a gunshot.

— Alright, alright, I’m coming down. You yelled, and the murmurs grew louder and then stopped when a whistle echoed through the forest.

— What do we have here? You heard as your feet touched the ground covered with dry leaves. Your hood over your cap covered your face well, and you were sure it made them think you were a boy. — A little thief. If you want to steal, learn to face the consequences.

The deep, rough voice of the man you assumed was the leader said in front of you. You kept your head down until they pushed you to your knees on the ground, and the man’s voice in front of you rose in tone. — I’m talking to you, and when I talk to you, you LOOK at me. He said, and immediately your hood was yanked down, and your head was pulled up by the chin.

Your gaze met the older man with black hair and a graying beard looking into your eyes and a sadistic smile spreading across his lips.

— Damn, a girl was stealing from me. You let a girl step in your shit, huh?

As he spoke loudly, a memory of him came to you, and immediately your eyes widened in recognition.

— Shit. You whispered moments before looking back at Negan standing in front of you, holding a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire.

— Oh shit, girl, you think you can come here and take whatever you want? This isn't a free market, princess.

— Your security sucks. — You said, and Negan laughed.

— We’re taking you with us, and then we’ll talk, doll. As soon as he said it, it was done. You were thrown on the path and taken to the Saviors’ community.

They threw you into a cold, empty room for who knows how long until the door opened again, and the figure of Negan stood there with his baseball bat on his shoulder, looking at you with a smile on his face. — You know, I usually am a nice guy, so I’m going to listen to you. How did you get in here? Who’s been helping you, baby? Negan asked, approaching and dragging the bat's barbed wire

beside his boots.— Stop trying to blame one of your men for treason. I already said, your security sucks. You said, and deep down, you were cursing yourself for having a big mouth.

— Alright, you like to make things difficult. Listen to me. Negan said firmly with a laugh, approaching you and making you back up against the wall. — Looks like someone needs a lesson on respect and survival because you’re trying to get yourself killed. And I’m an excellent teacher. Negan said softly near your ear, and you rolled your eyes as you felt your body shiver, not out of fear.

— Since when? As far as I know, good teachers don’t fuck their students in their office after class, Mr. Smith. You said, and as soon as the words escaped your mouth, you looked at Negan, who had his eyes fixed on you. His body moved closer to yours, pinning you against the wall.

— I knew I recognized that dirty mouth from somewhere. Damn, Y/n. Negan said, stepping back from you as he walked around the room, looking at you. — Stealing food is the quickest way to become an enemy. And I’m not a fan of enemies, even more so if it's you. If I let this slide, everyone will think they can do the same. And I can’t allow that. He paused, giving you a thorough look from head to toe. — First, I need to know where you came from. Who have you been stealing for?

— No one. You denied, and Negan squinted his eyes suspiciously.

— Last chance to explain. My patience is running out.

— You always run out of patience, Negan.

— Let’s do this: I have three options for you. One, you work for me, tell me where you came from, get a bath, a pair of skirts that I know you love to wear for me, and live like a damn queen. Two, you work for me, help me use those little hands for more useful things like you did here because stealing from me is off-limits, but if it’s someone else, that’s interesting. Or three, you don’t make things easy, and I have to punish you. Lucille is dying to smash into your pretty little head. Your choice. Negan said, and your gaze fell on the bat in his hand as you chuckled, licking your inner cheek.

— Alright, you named a baseball bat after your ex-wife, the one you had problems with and who cheated on you. Fine. You chuckled nasally, and Negan hated your audacity towards him. Maybe you had gone too far, you knew that, but you loved the adrenaline.

Angry, Negan lunged at you, dropping the bat and wrapping his hand around your throat, choking you like he had done before. — Damn, I remembered you talked a lot, but I didn’t remember you had such a filthy mouth.

— What a shame. You know, if you want to kill me for stealing a bit of food for myself, which is no different from what you do to other communities, kill me now. You said, and almost instantly, Negan forced you to your knees.

— No, before that, I need to shut that big dirty mouth of yours. He said, unzipping and pulling down his pants. Your gaze rose to him, looking down with a sadistic smile on his lips. — Suck my dick like it’s an ice cream cone, baby. He ordered, lowering his underwear and freeing his erect penis right in your face. Wasting no time, Negan grabbed your head and pushed you forward, making you take his dick into your mouth.

Negan grabbed your hair into a ponytail and fucked your mouth like there was no other chance.

Some grunts escaped your throat as you began to run out of breath. Negan pulled your head out, and his hand pumped his shaft up and down until you recovered and resumed sucking his dick.

— That’s it, ah, you do such a good job, little one. Negan moaned as he began to feel the pre-cum sensation. — You always sucked my dick so damn well, yes, right there, baby.

Negan grunted as he came in your mouth, cum dripping from your lips. You looked up, panting, and Negan smiled at you, lifting you afterward. — You’ve always been such a good girl. Did you swallow?

He asked, and you showed your tongue to him, proving you had swallowed. — Good girl. — He said, kissing you on the lips. — Now you’re mine.

— In your dreams, Mr. Smith.

In fact, you managed to escape the next day, and Negan would be doing everything to bring the little thief back to him again.

<<<<<

Requests are open✨

[eccentricallygothic]

|| Konnection ||

Pairing: Dragon Shifter!Ari | Drakaina Shifter!You.

Trope: You hate his guts and he loves it aka my favorite.

Description: You are a bratty little Drakaina. And do you know what happens to them? They get disciplined. By their Dragons.

Warning(s): Dubcon (just to be safe), smut with plot, chase kink, shifter couple, you straight up hate Ari, power imbalance, age gap, he's a warlord, size kink (gone wild), infantilization, humiliation, ass play (not his dick), his cock is too big, degradation, spanking, manhandling, hair pulling, unprotected p-in-v, creampie, doggy style, allusions to exhibitionist stuff, angry Ari, Daddy kink, he treats you like a kid and calls you one, cum play, brat taming, boob play, minor overstimulation, fear kink-ish. MDNI.

Note: I had so much fun writing this lmfao. Pissing off scary men so they can fuck me up hell yeah! Unedited because it's late and I am tired but I want to see something. Let me know if you liked it, thank you <3 

MASTERLIST 

. . .

You have always done whatever you please. Restraint and denial aren't— or rather, weren't concepts you were familiar with before you caught the eye of the tyrannical brute named Ari Levinson. It did not help that your stupid and treacherous spirit reached out to his when your eyes locked with his electric blue ones for the first time and konnected with him before you could stop it. As if Ari is not rich enough with his generational wealth and noble family, the fact that he leads the Military Legion of the Draconic Empire you belong to hence all the real power doesn't help your case. 

You hear a deep growl behind you and you angrily flap your shiny crimson scaled and gold streaked wings. They are miniature when compared to his colossal black ones that are scaled a dark teal and streaked silver. The sound of them cutting through the air as he chases your tiny form through the sky is so heavy that it puts strain on your eardrums, their enormous size causing actual turbulence in the air itself. 

Ari is a warlord and his Dragon form a battle hardened, much experienced arsenal full of tricks, infinite strength and agility and much training. You know you don't stand a chance against him, you didn't when you angrily transformed when he was about to put the band of his claim around your neck during your betrothal ceremony and you won't even if you by some miracle grow into his size all of a sudden. But his smug smile had been too much for you to handle, the lewd whistling and remarks of his filthy fellows only making it worse. You had confessed to him in a letter that you didn't want to marry him and you wished to revoke the konnection, you had always been clear about not mating in the Draconic way, and you did not want to marry anyone, least of all a filthy wardog covered in mane like some earthly animal. 

The thought makes you sick to your stomach. 

You hate your family for putting you through this. Not that you have any faith in Ari's decency to think that if your father had refused your hand to him he would have taken it as an answer, you still resent how your parents and other family members jumped upon the opportunity to serve you up on a gold platter just because a Levinson asked for your hand in marriage. 

You feel the sky tremble again. He is growling a warning to you. It is a prompt for you to stop and know better. To help yourself while you still can. Save yourself before things become irreversibly complicated. 

But you wouldn't be you if you weren't stupidly stubborn and childish. 

And so you spin midair and wheeze out angry smoke before you burst out the most scorching fire you can muster out right at Ari. Of course, the range and intensity is inadequate. The brute is too big and hard. You huff out and dash downwards and out of his grip because he reaches you at once, his already cunning Dragon features not looking too impressed with you. You chuckle as you go fly in the other direction, thinking you have fooled the assholic mass of scale, muscle and tyranny.

But alas! 

Your eyes widen and your mind doesn't comprehend it at first. It happens much too fast for both your perception and expectation to understand. And by the time you catch on, Ari's claw that easily holds you like a toy is tossing you on a mountaintop like you're nothing more serious than a doll before he deescalates himself on top of you and you gasp, your pearly beige wings darting to shield your eyes from what you suspect will be the crushing of your body under the brute's. 

“Shift.” You know not how he does it but the beast crash-lands against the ground with such force that the whole mountain shakes from the weight of his anger and yet he doesn't hit you. Dust clouds erupt all around you and you cough, squinting your eyes as you peek up at him from behind your wings to find he has surrounded you in the curtains of his own to shield you from the change in environment as your body lies between his claws and he glares down at you with his electric blue. 

You whimper and feel your jaw twitch as your lips tremble. Your forehead aches and you feel your eyebrows raising in an obtuse angle as a reaction to your condition. Ari— or rather, his form is titanous as he looks over you like the shadow of destruction, the air that his flared nostrils angrily exhale out fanning the entirety of your tiny form. You feel yourself beginning to break, anger giving way to regret and better sense scold your impulse. But then—

“Right now.” He emphasizes on his previous words and you hear an actual snap in your head before you feel your eyes blaze with anger. 

“Nu.” There is an unreadable shift in his harsh gaze for a few moments as he just watches you, wordless. Did you, a foolish little girl from a family of humble means, tell him; Ari Levinson, who has been nothing but generous to you despite your constant displays of dimwittedness, no? 

“I will not repeat myself.” To someone not belonging to your species, your conversation would seem like soundless mouthing for the pitch your kind uses in this form is inaudible to lower life forms. But you hear his threat loud and clear. 

“Yur nut the boss o' mee!” You owe the lisping and baby-like voice to your tiny form. Although it's normal for Drakainas to be smaller than Dragons, their smaller size comes with speed, a feminine cunning, sharper claws, short ranged but molten breath and expendability. But it seems in your case that when the sun was granting his children, your kind, their abilities, you were knocked out somewhere with a food induced coma. 

Though Ari has had enough encounters with you to know better, he still stops to stare at you; your unwavering foolishness. Are you, something so defenseless and vulnerable against him, seriously saying that to him when he is already so angry?

You stupidly gain confidence in the wake of his disbelieving silence. When you should be quiet, submissive and apologetic, you instead push yourself off the ground with the v-shaped mid joint of one of your wings and use the other one to wipe your eyes clean of their glaze. Your claws ball into tiny fists and you huff up at the mountain of a Dragon, pouting from how your nape hurts when you do. 

“Ugh, I tuld yu I din wan' marry yu, yu dumby brute!” You jump up with the use of your hind legs so you can bang your miniature fists on his firm chest protestingly. “Hate yu, hate yu, hate yu! Leamme!” You give him a smash with each word, glaring up at him like you're in any position to. “Dun wanna—!”

Ari is in actual disbelief of your sheer audacity as he stops his mouth from falling open simply because he is not used to this. If anything, he is a foreigner to this attitude being directed at him. Because do you even realize just how monumentally fucked you are?

“You either shift and make it somewhat easy for yourself,” you gasp and slip back onto your ass with a gulp when he lowers his great head to put emphasis on his words. “Or I rip your petulant little kiddy ass open as is.” Your eyes widen when you feel the tip of his monstrous form graze against your small leg. 

Fuck.

His Dragon cock alone is bigger than your whole Drakaina form.

There is something about the murderous glint in his electric blue eyes that finally makes you cease your race with reason and you let it infuse with you. 

Your body reacts before your mind can even form the intent of obeying him and you pout softly. Your traitorous little desperate soul and the damned konnection! 

“Oh, no…” Your speech returns to you as your body begins to shift and from the baby dragon form emerges a fully developed young woman. 

Exactly what he likes. 

“Oh, yes.” There is a deafening crack in the air before bright light hits your darkness accustomed eyes and you wince before bringing a hand to them for protection as you wince from the overflow of sensory data. 

“S- Stay back!” You warn and hop backwards as though you're still on your haunches. It'll take you a bit to readjust to your human form. It's not very common except for cases like weak Drakainas like yourself. 

Ari's cock is an angry red as it curves against his stomach. The sight makes you gulp and his not being bothered about it only makes it worse. Not that you mind being in your natural state too much, but right now you feel so exposed and vulnerable under his electric glare that you can't help but hug yourself. 

“You're only making it harder for yourself, kid.” 

“I am telling you, stay—” you quickly bend down to pick up a rock before you hurl it at him. “Stay back!” Ari turns sideways and his long hair flops along. When he turns to look at you, a crimson little cut glints in the sunlight for just a millisecond before his skin naturally comes together and closes on itself. 

Of course. 

“Ugh! I don't like you! Why don't you get it!” Your fists are balled at your sides as you huff and puff. 

The man only sighs as he closes in on you. 

“I swear— ah!” You scream as your foot slips off the edge and your body goes to tumble down, arms flailing about but before anything devastating can happen, a rough grip on your hair catches you and drags you back onto the ground. “Oh m- my—” he doesn't let you recover from your shock.

“Stupid and petulant girls like yourself never know what's good for them” you pout and whimper as your hair goes to cup over his that is holding your hair tight. “That is why they need someone to show them what's good for them” you jump like an animated character with a cartoon-like noise when his free hand swings through the air to crack against your ass. 

“Ow! Oh!” Ari doesn't stop. As he walks you back to the middle of the mountaintop with your feet barely touching the ground because of how he holds you, he cruelly warms your ass up until it's flushing a humiliating shade of red. “Stop! You brute!” You bounce on your toes as you try to dodge him by swinging yourself left and right but to no avail, Ari is too fast and his range is too great. 

“You don't say that when you fuck yourself stupid on my cock and cry like a little kid who is getting handled by their Daddy” your blood runs cold as the feeling of his words calling you out like a splash of ice cold water. 

Okay. 

Maybe your weakness got the best of you one or two times. 

Or a couple.

But that's not the point!

It's his fault, he's the manipulative tyrant! 

“I— ow!” You cry again because his assault on your ass is unceasing. “I— I've no idea what you mean, meanie!” He scoffs as he places you on your soles so he can bend you over to target your sitspots. 

“I am sure.” Your body rocks forward with his beastly hits. Your ass is stinging and you're sure he has blistered it with his stupid warlord hands. “Now get your tail out.” The humiliation makes you want to throw up. Cold sweat threatens to drown your body and your ears turn beet red. 

“What?! No!” You cry out when your words make him target your sore spots. “I- I dunno how to in this form!” He scoffs again. 

Your audacity is what keeps him going. 

“Do it how I taught you” okay, yes. But he's a bossy mean tyrant who doesn't back down if you deny him! And no one helps you because he's both your Konnection made and fiancee. 

As well as literally Ari fucking Levinson. 

You never really have a choice with him. These kinds of tricks aren't common for someone with your strength and state of underdevelopment most because you've never really cared about the Dragon stuff but one day the depraved dictator decided that he wasn't going to let you cum if you didn't grow out your Dragon tail while still in your human form. He went so far as to even threaten you with a spanking. And your readers can judge you all they want but if they had ever been stuck balls deep on Ari Levinson's monstrous cock with their pussy sore from the frustration and their hips so desperate that they throbbed with need, they'd understand why you laid weakly against his chest and surrendered yourself to his will before carrying out his messed up wish. To be fair, not that you would ever be fair with him, he had praised, kissed and spoiled you a lot after that. 

Not out of the goodness of his heart though.

No.

The pervert loved to stroke your tail and play with its base when he made you sit on his massive lap. 

“Or what?!” You demand angrily. 

It's a thing. You always submit -under his evil coercion, you must add- and do what he says. But then you recover and you act like you don't know him. 

Ari loves it. He has seen it all and there isn't much that isn't mundane to him. But you, you keep him on his toes. 

His ferocious little fireball. 

Ari finally stops the spanking. You wince as you feel your cheeks seethe. He brings you closer to his hairy face by the grip he has on your head. There is a complex look on his face. He looks done and unwilling to do to you what he must if you keep this up. 

“You know you don't want to find out” you watch his face for a slip, trying to sway his heart with an expression or two of your own. But as always, it doesn't work with the brutish dictatorial tyrant of a giant. 

So you whimper and try to look away but his hold restricts you. Choosing to avert your eyes from him instead, you whimper as you focus on fulfilling his demand. As you go about it, you cannot help but wonder why Ari wants you to do this right now. Usually when he does this, it's when you're cuddling— you mean, when he's cuddling you, okay?! Ugh!

“Oh…” You groan as you feel the crimson and gold tail growing out just above your ass. It's not painful but it makes you uncomfortable. As well as humiliated. 

“Stay still, or so the Sun help me” you don't need to be told twice. Never when you're so tightly held in his grip. It's too late. 

You feel Ari grab your tail and you whimper from the sensitivity, gulping down the bile that forms in your throat when you feel his long and thick fingers grazing the soft scales -he likes to call you a kiddie Dragon because of how nonlethal you actually are- as he slowly strokes the length. His fingertips feel the hot base for a few moments and your knees nearly buckle shut. The firm hold on your head helps keep you remain in the inverted 90° angle he's made of your body.

Ari spits on your pucker and you almost jump from the sensation of his hot spit landing on your hole. Oh, yes. It becomes too exposed for comfort when he bends you over like this. And no, it does not mean that you know this because he does it often. Absolutely not. You uneasily try to shift away but he hooks one knee in the curve between your stomach and thighs to keep you upright as his fingers work the natural lubricant in and work it open a little. The next blob lands on your tail and something about the sensory overload and his attitude makes you angry but you're too caught and weak. 

But still, before you can try to hold your own, the warlord is pushing the tip of your tail in your pucker and your eyes widen in shock. You begin to struggle. He has never done that before. 

“W- What are you doin— ah!” Even though your Drakaina skin is soft, the sensation of the rigid dents and your own body being forced into your tiny hole causes an explosion of scorching blood in your face. “Oh—! What are you doing, you! Oh my— owie Dada!” You break and though you don't see it, a crooked smirk of satisfaction makes its way onto his face. “Pleasie!”

There. 

You talk big game, but a little bit of pain and you're the most compliant little thing alive. 

“You look so pretty, kid” your features scrunch in discomfort as you squint at the ground because there isn't much else you can do. “Stuffed full of your own bratty little tail” your ass is so full of yourself. The humiliating sensation makes you pout. He gives a firm pat on your plugged ass before moving on and you nearly retch from the embarrassment. “Get on your knees” he finally releases your hair and you land on your hands just in time. 

“Y- You…” And your mouth is trying to run again the moment he isn't holding you. Ari snorts under his breath as he gets on his knees behind you. “Y- You're so twisted and weird! Military men—”

“It takes some nerve to act like that when I can literally see you messing yourself up like it's your job” you feel like screaming. You hate it and you hate him. He always gets what he wants and your traitorous body only aids his pompousness. “Dripping yourself silly like a soppy little bride slut” you feel the rough skin of his hands stroke against the sides of your sore thighs before he pulls you back towards him. “It looks like you pissed yourself like the stupid little baby that you are” your wrists become jelly and your upper body collapsed on your elbows when his scarred fingers dip between your legs to collect your sweetness on them before he spreads your petals to both feel your warm cunt and coat as much of his digits in your slick as he can.

“D- Daddy…” You hate it. The twisted use of the word scalds your tongue. And yet you cannot help it. Your thighs only quiver more. 

Ari brings his fingers to his lips and puts them in his mouth before sucking at them. “Hmm” his bigger body rocks against your much smaller one to rub his own spilling cock on your spanked skin. “Tastes like a silly little kiddie brat slut” your sensitive and tender skin does well in pampering his stiff skin and Ari uses your ass like a plush little pillow to stroke his cock.

“D- Daddy— I mean, you brute!” Sparks go off in your mind when you feel him stroke the summit of his dick against your drenched pussy as one of his hands hold you to his while by the grip he has on the curve of your hip. “Stooop! Owie! No! It won't fit!” And true to your word, your small pussy rejects his cock with a bratty squelch. It's one part of your body that is just like you. And Ari has punished it on several occasions for his misbehavior exactly as he does you. “I- I am too small you giant! Not everyone can be a colossal like you- ouchie!” 

He raises an eyebrow, amused. “Too small now, are you?” He is breathless from the strength it's taking him to be patient with your opening's constant rejection of his cock whenever he tries to push in. “You weren't acting like it when you made a spectacle of our engagement like I am some lowborn pauper that you can just humiliate like a peasant wife who doesn't have a whole generation of noble wives to represent” he bites back a harsh curse when his cock slips away again. His fingers tighten on your side and he pushes you tighter against him before realigning his cock with your bratty hole and slowly forcing it in with slow rotatory movements where he penetrates you spec by spec. “You weren't too small when you challenged your future husband and tried to burn him with your pathetic little candle fire” the insult makes you angry but his cock has intruded you and his satisfied pat to your ass coupled with your pucker clenching around your scaled tail renders you speechless.

“O- Owie!” It feels good. But the strain his girth puts on your poor band is almost too much. You fear you will rip. “D- Daddy, please!” That always softens him up. Oftentimes just a little but beggars can't be choosers. 

“You will shut up and take it if you know what's good for you…” But he is far too angry today. His hairy chest drapes over your back and the coarse hairs make your tender skin tingle. “Even though we both know you're too dumb to understand that” you feel him pull out of you almost all the way out before he plunges himself back in, his length cruelly pushing your velvet walls apart and reaching your cervix already. But Ari doesn't hit it just yet. 

“Oh!” You squeak out when your body rocks with another thrust and then another. He is gaining pace. You don't notice it but your ass has managed to push your tail nearly halfway out and Ari stamps it back in at the same moment he snaps his hips against yours. “Daddyyyy, hnng!” Regardless of your dislike of the name, it is the one you find yourself calling him when he has you bent over like this. 

“Tell me you're sorry for what you did” he peers at the sun that is changing its colour and Ari decides he can thoroughly address this later. It is not like you are going anywhere. You are his and he will never allow it. “Tell me it's because you're a stupid little kiddie brat who hasn't had a day's discipline in her life and that is the reason you need a husband like me to keep you on a short leash” the sound of his cock moving in and out of your tight pussy is so loud that it is clear even in the heavy winds. Your pucker blinks around your tail. “Say it!” The harsh strike he gives to your ass has you crying and parroting out his words before your mind can catch on. 

“I- I am sorry for… for… ah!” His stiff tip touches your cervix and the bittersweet pleasure makes you choke him out. His baritone groan grinds its way into your ear from how his colossal form is bent over yours so he can reach your neck and hear your whimpers. “I am sorry for what I did today, Daddy!” 

“Keep going” he demands with a smack to one of your tits now. You jump up from the shock. Damn, you didn't even know he could reach you like this. He continues to fuck you like a hound taking his bitch. 

“I, uh…” You rake your mind for what he demanded of you, sighing in relief when you remember though his assault on your sensitive spot makes you arch your back. His beard digs into the skin of your jaw and shoulder when his mouth reaches for your carotid pulse. “I—” he takes a beastly sniff of your bubbling vein and you nearly give up but a pinch to your nipple brings you back to your task. “It's— oh, yes!” You finally remember his words and get to it, your sore ass cheeks clapping from how rapidly he is fucking into you. “It's because I've never seen a- a-” your eyebrows furrow and eyes flutter shut when his lips latch onto the skin of your neck in an unfriendly way. “Ah!” His fingers find their way to your throbbing cunt and you let out the most obscene moan you have ever heard. 

“Say it.” He growls before he begins to suck a mark of his ownership into your tender skin.

“It's because I've never seen a day's d- discipline in my life and— fuuuck!” The feeling of his rough finger pads is delectable against your soft folds and your head collapses between your shoulders. The vibration of Ari's hum against your skin along with the breathtaking jab he gives to your cervix makes your head spin and you give up. You are yet to build tolerance to his touch. Your high bubbles out of your loins like molten lava and your toes curl as your body tries to stretch to both react to and withstand the strong orgasm. “I am a stupid k- kiddie brat slut who needs a hubby Daddy to keep her in her place” you mumble out in one breath as you let yourself rock back and forth along to his thrusts, mind numb and pussy dumb. 

Or is it the other way around?

“And who is your hubby Daddy?” Ari lets your cunt go to grip both your hips so he can go into his incubus-like trance. 

“You” your words are nearly incoherent but he hears them just fine and with much satisfaction. “Only you are my hubby Daddy…” You are thankful for the temporary vertigo that has taken over your senses. It renders you deaf to the filth he makes you say.

“Here's what's going to happen now” he says once he has run his tongue over the very noticeable bruise he has made on your neck. “I am going to fuck all the funny little thoughts out of your rebellious little head until you're rightfully wearing my cum” the overstimulation makes you uncomfortable and both of your holes sensitively clench. “And then we are going to fly back to the venue and you are going to thank me and kiss my hand to show your gratitude after I put the band on you” you feel his speed increasing and you further lower yourself to hold your head; bracing yourself. “You are going to kneel as you do, so everyone can see you for the hypocritical little whore you are.”

And Ari Levinson always gets his way. 

. . .

I appreciate reblogs <333

[hsrlanedefencesquad]

Y'all HSR is so good, like I don't think y'all understand. I genuinely think no one loves it as much as me

I love all the LIs, even though I might not romance them all right now, every single one of them are so beautiful physically, it's crazy....I never thought any other author could out-pretty remy's LIs lol (I think the only gripe I'd have with it, is Anna is the only single female LI....& now this addition of Abel as a male LI when we already had Boris & several male LIs, idk it seems too much. Like give the wlw players one more female LI, please aleksandra 🙏🏾🙏🏾)

Other than that, everything is perfect....my main route - I'm romancing cain, the 2nd slot goes to dmitry (he is honestly not talked about enough, he ate this update up!!!) I would rant about how much I love these two but this post would turn into an essay & I still have a lot to talk about

3rd slot goes to Greg!!! Definitely!!! Hello??? he would have honestly been my main LI if Cain didn't exist (curse me and being drawn to mysterious fucked up men 😭)

First of all, no shade to other rc black men, but I want to say a big THANK YOU to Aleksandra for not making him the typical grumpy or brooding rc black man (no, like what's up with that?, Although cassiel is my main LI in ABH, he gets a pass sorry 😭) I feel like only greg & that one guy in 7b are happy sunlight vibes black men in the whole of rc...

That and she made him so physically HOT without the addition of ridiculous european eye colours (evthys swenett jumpscare & luc- *gunshots*) & he doesn't have that oh so annoying grey undertone? (cassiel once again you get a pass) like Greg is the embodiment of a ray of sunshine. Which is also good because Sasha didn't just relegate him to some goofy black side character, no I'm actually impressed he was the main general or whatever, after dmitry & he actually has an emotional back story with his sister (I feel like his romance route will be so emotionally hard because it will be one of the major factors that will force lane to feel conflicted between humanity & her dark side) heartbreak & tears are coming, I fear

Overall the book is just SO GOOD, it deadass feels like I'm watching a horror movie or sometimes like I'm with the characters seeing everything happening to them from afar, it's so immersive....sometimes cozy AF, NGL I hope they don't move away from their snowy/dead climate background in coming seasons. I think that's a major contribution to the way the story gets players to feel

The writing is amazing for a new author, man I don't want HSR to end but I am absolutely seated for the next work from this author

[gldrushh]

SUGAR AND SIN | JK

🧁✧ ˚. TITLE: Sugar and Sin.

🧁✧ ˚. PAIRING: Mafia boss! Jungkook x female oc

🧁✧ ˚. BLURB: Maybe the gun wielding stranger with a penchant for dramatic entrances can be her chance of survival other than her worst nightmare.

🧁✧ ˚. GENRE: Mafia au, grumpy x sunshine, forced proximity, slow burn, dark romance, crime/thriller.

🧁✧ ˚. WARNINGS: This chapter contains intense scenes with threatening behavior, discussions of violence and murder, and emotional distress.

🧁✧ ˚. TAGS: oc is SILENCED, jk is a jerk and likes to break in

🧁✧ ˚. A/N: ty ty ty for the amazing support you guys have been showing this!! It means more to me than you know. Also, I kinda don't wanna post the new chapter on wattpad until I have posted all the already published ones here so it can be in sync. Let me know what you guys think about that?

🧁✧ ˚. TAG LIST: @scuzmunkie (let me know if you wanna be added in the tag list)

CHAPTER 3: AURORA

He was here.

In her goddamn living room, sitting on her couch like he owned the place.

The realization hit her slowly, like the creeping cold of winter sneaking under the door. She hadn’t heard him come in. She hadn’t seen him approach. But there he was, every inch of him radiating danger.

He was here to fulfill the promise of something dangerous.

He was here for her.

She didn't need to look through her memories of last night to recognize him. The inky voids that were placed where eyes normally are were proof enough, and so was the horrifying calmness he carried with himself surrounding the small space of her apartment.

Her lips parted, her breath shortened and her unblinking eyes went all over him, his gloved hands that were skilled for taking lives-she was sure of it- resting flatly on his broad, muscled thigh clothed with the black of his pants, his shirt of a softer fabric soft yet unyielding, strained against the hard planes of his chest. The tailored suit jacket stretched over biceps that seemed too solid, too real, for this moment to be anything but a nightmare and there was the face she hadn't properly grasped in the chaos of last night, now all sharp lines, cool beauty, and unsettling stillness.

Maybe the devil wasn't a short red man with thorns and tail at all. Maybe he wore tailored suits and silver piercings.

"Inhale. And sit down."

His voice- a calm authority, snapped her out of her jumbled thoughts. She wasn't sure how much she could take of being the sole recipient of her attention.

"What.. H-How did you-you get in?" She managed, not bothering to cringe at how small and powerless she sounded in her own home.

"Sit down." It was an order this time considering how his bored face hardened and his tone shifted. "We have lots to talk about." His gloved finger flexed briefly over the gun holstered at his side. 

That gesture alone was enough for her to obey before her mind could catch up and reluctantly sit across him while trying her best not to display how wobbly her knees were getting. Even as she sat across from him, every fiber of her being told her to flee. But something in his stillness kept her rooted to the spot.

"Answer me now. How-how did you get in?" she asked again, though as much as she tried to hide it, there was a tremor in her voice.

"I don't respond well to questions phrased like that. Try again."

Her frustration bubbled up, cutting through the haze of fear. "Are you kidding me-" his fingers flexed against the barrel of his gun again in response, making her narrow her eyes at him.

"You're here to kill me too, aren't you?Because I saw what you did. I saw you murder that innocent man." She was surprised at how collected she sounded.

He leaned back, slow and deliberate, his gaze heavy on her as he scoffed under his breath. "If I wanted to kill you, I could have done that there and then. Just another body for my men to dispose of." And there went that collected front of her down the drain. But his expression remained unchanged, bored almost, as if this entire exchange was nothing more than a chore to him.

"But I didn't. And if it helps, the innocent man was not as innocent as you naively assumed." His voice was colder, with a mocking tilt to it.

She bit the inside of her cheek, fighting the wave of unease rising inside her. "So? What are you, the law?"

"My word is. And he went against it." He said simply.

Her lips parted again in an act of disbelief. There was something so twisted about this man. And she had a feeling that didn't stop only at him being a murderer.

"T-That is not going to stop me from reporting you to the police and neither will you." She said with a determined look even though her actions were hesistant when she slowly and carefully rose up from her spot.

And he clearly saw right through it. "Need a drive there?" He leaned forward, his presence suddenly much heavier as he spoke out with an amused tilt of his head.

This was the face of a man who knew he won't be punished for his crime. This was the face of a man who knew that, that was all beneath him. Just who the hell was this man?

"What is wrong with you?" She conferred the answer was: Everything.

"Why are you doing this? Why did you do any-any of that?" There was a frustration in her voice now that caused him to rise up from the couch as well. And she could swear he was tenfold more intimidating now that he was displaying the giant of a height he had, almost causing her to flinch.

"I don't owe you an explanation for my actions while you do owe me something for meddling in my business." He replied, the shadows deepening on his face

"Meddling in your business? You're the one who broke into my bakery.." and now in my apartment. "And made it your place of crime."

"Your little bakery will be nothing but ashes on the ground if you don't stop talking back and resisting to my word." He eyes flashed with irration as he spoke out with a harshness, taking a step closer to her but still maintaining a distance he looked distasteful to cross.

While all she could do was stay frozen in her spot with her hands curling in ball of fists by her side as his eyes told her to even though the audacity of this man to threaten the place she made a living from raged her to no end.

"Now back to what's important." He said, releasing a quiet breath.

"That being your silence that you owe me. You'll not speak about anything you saw with anyone. And I'm just saving you from the embarrassment when I say that you drop the police bullshit."

She swallowed a hard lump down her throat, not liking how he stared at her, how his words spit out like venom. Of course, she felt a surge of anger at how he was ordering her around, but it was tempered by fear at last. "I-I can't just forget what I saw.."

He cocked an eyebrow at her words. "But you will. Or I'll have to resort to unpleasant ways to make you forget. Would you want that?"

She instantly shook her head at that. She couldn't digest how this man had her so pathetic at his non-existent mercy. It was a pill she had to swallow, of course, but that didn't mean she was gonna do it without an attempt to choke it out.

Her mind raced. The face of an familiar old man with a nasty grin flashed in front of her. Mr. Choi had been tightening the noose around her neck for months. The bills have been piling up, and if she didn't speak up now, maybe she would have to return back home. This could be her only chance. Yet the rational part of still considered the insanity of bargaining with a man who just threatened her life.

She swallowed hard. It's a terrible idea. A dangerous gamble.

But when has she ever listened to the annoying rational part of her head?

"I- I want something in return for my silence." She said with a newfound determination, her chin tipped up. "My bakery's landlord... Mr. Choi... he’s been extorting me for months. If you want my silence, I need your help." Even with the clarity in her demand, she couldn't help but feel like it was as if she was begging. The pulse racing with fear convinced her that she was begging.

Gods, what is wrong with me?

That seemed to twist something in him as he stepped closer with a sinister calmness. "You think you're in a position to make demands to me?" His voice was laced with a malicious intent, making her do everything in her power to not squirm in her spot as he towered above her.

Yet she stood her ground even if the fear threatened to overwhelm her. "It's only fair that I get something in return." She said with a surprisingly steady voice, trying her best to hide the desperation that was eager to be out.

Please, let this work. Please don’t let this end with my body laying in my own blood.

A muscle of his jaw ticked. "Being bold now, are we?" he said. "But let me make one thing clear: you're not in a position to make demands. You're in a position to be grateful, I'm not killing you right now."

He paused, his eyes glinting with intensity and some sort of interest. "However... I'll consider your request. Not because I owe you anything, but because it amuses me to do so. And maybe you'll prove useful enough to warrant a little... leeway."

He turned to leave, then looked back over his shoulder. "Until next time, baker girl."

And he was gone, leaving her heart thumping and her world shaky.

To be continued..

→ Previous chapter

[nalyra-dreaming]

A few thoughts about Louis and being sidelined / supporting in s3.

I'll preface this - again - to say that this "supporting" is nothing I want. It is simply something that's been said, and set to happen from the get go, and before it really hits I would like to get my thoughts on it out.

Under the cut, imagine the Ao3 disclaimer here, please, so read on your own volition:

Over the last few days I have seen posts triggered by the awards mostly, but also seen "the discussion" on discords and in DMs.

"The discussion" being the fear of a black character being sidelined once more, as has happened so many times before.

Which is unfortunately a more than valid fear, but one that I find difficult to address, in this fandom, but also especially in this setup of the show.

Because:

The show set them up for this fall, this trap from the very beginning.

I'm not saying this to invalidate the fear, nor point a finger going "it was always there!!", no, I'm pointing this out because in the joy and relief to have a lead like that - to have Jacob in a role like that, to have representation like that - it is often overlooked that it was all very much deliberate.

This Louis is more, thankfully. He has eclipsed book Louis for me, and I am extremely grateful, because this Louis is so much more.

He was created as more, too.

And he was created... for Lestat.

I am not trying to be hyperbolic here. Or argumentative. Rolin Jones said in the season one podcast, when asked how these "famously white men" could make Louis black, that they came at Louis through Lestat. Crafted him, so he would appeal to Lestat. (Episode 8 of the IWTV podcast)

The show reimagined Louis, and brilliantly so, and Jacob lifted him to something truly special, but the switch we are about to witness was always set to come. Louis, "the" vampire of IWTV (the book), was sidelined after said book in the VC as well, Anne had to leave him behind, imho, because he was her stand-in for the very real pain of losing her daughter.

This won't happen here, at least not in that capacity.

Thankfully.

But it will still feel grating.

Because the black lead of the first season (which was split in half by covid, therefore giving us more) will take the step back. Become supporting.

And no matter what they will do, that will look... bad to some extent at the very least.

And it was inevitable from the get-go, unfortunately.

Because this is the setup they chose.

It won't be fair, it is not fair. It was always inevitable doing the VC.

These things... can and do co-exist in this show. A two-edged sword, in a way. To have a lead like Jacob, brilliantly reimagined, but knowing by recasting him color-consciously they are setting themselves up for the backlash, from the get go.

I have no doubt this backlash will come. It will come with accusations of racism, of them "wanting to push out the black character." Of them wanting to finally get to their "white hero", "look at AMC, they can finally promote as they want to", have already started. I have seen sentiments of the teaser at SDCC being already "more" than what Jacob "got".

I get where these statements come from.

I get that. I get the frustration, and also the very real context it stems from, in our so unfair world.

I get wanting, and needing the representation. I get wanting and needing to keep Jacob.

I get that what they did with Lestat in s1, and especially episode 1x05 and 1x06 that realizing he will be lead will feel like a slap to the face for some, no matter the revelations of 2x08.

I get that this feels like a trap, and the show is walking right into it, deliberately.

It’s just been... "a trap" that‘s been set up from the beginning, and to a large part intentionally.

And I say that completely understanding the feelings on the matter: it is, and unfortunately so.

Which leaves us... where?

I don't know. The disappointment and apprehension of seeing it happening is understandable and very much based on real experience after all. Which does not negate that it would have happened in this show in any case, because, well... it's the Vampire Chronicles. And Lestat.

And they are doing the books, even closer than I anticipated.

Closer, too, than I, personally, would have wanted them to(!), for some parts, because some of these stories... do and will come with similar "traps".

So ultimately, with what's to come I hope...that they manage to give Louis the "more" they obviously try to give him. I hope that will work(!). I hope the change won't feel too grating.

[justmeinadaze]

I Have Nothing (If I Don't Have You) Part 6 (Steddie X You)

Warnings: Security Dom Steddie X Sub (slightly bratty) Singer Fem Reader, SMUT, spanking, dirty talk, slight rough play (they show her a bit more of what they are into), FLUFF, they go on a date through Paris and she shows them around, they do discuss being more exclusive (as if she or they would want anyone else🙄 ), ANGST, slightly so with her talking briefly about being sober and her fears of being in a relationship again.

Word Count: 4812

“Obviously, you’re taking us to the Eiffel Tower, right?”, Steve grinned in your direction as you three walked the streets of Paris. 

“Yes but tonight when it’s all lit up.”

The day couldn’t be any more perfect for you and you were the happiest you had been in a long time. You took them around to each place you could think of that didn’t have a long line, stopping at bakeries and little shops to have them taste everything while looking for little trinkets to bring back home. 

They seemed to really be enjoying themselves which made you smile. Eddie had befriended a street musician who handed him an acoustic guitar and he sat beside him as they played a couple of songs. You took them to a vintage store where they had a blast looking at the clothes. Steve keeping trying on different hats asking you how he looked. One had a brim that three sizes too big causing you to spit out your water as you laughed at him. 

After grabbing lunch, you took them to a park nearby and had a picnic. 

“Seriously, I’m going to gain like thirty pounds off of this bread but so worth it.”, Steve chuckles as he takes another bite of his sandwich. 

“Oh, yeah. The food is phenomenal but you have to watch out for the butter and the sauces. Don’t even get me started on the chocolate.” Eddie smiles when your eyes playfully roll back.

“Did you parents show you all these places or did you find them yourself?”, he asked.

“A bit of both. The first few years I came here I basically recreated that vacation but as I wondered the streets I found more places and things to enjoy.”

“Excusez-moi.” A little girl shyly comes up to your blanket holding out a pen and paper. “May I have your…”

“Autographe?”, you smile up at her comfortingly as she grins. “Of course. Um… Quel est… ton nom?”

“Chloe.” She beams in your direction.

“I’m sorry, Chloe. My French isn’t great.” 

“It’s…okay.” Her grin grows as you give the paper back to her and lean up on your knees to give her a hug. 

“Merci, Miss Y/L/N!”

“Merci, Chloe.”

The three of you watch her as she runs back to her parents. 

“That was adorable.”, Steve smirks.

“It was. I didn’t know you had fans that were so small.”, Eddie adds. 

“Yeah, that’s another reason I want to be better. I’m supposed to be a role model for them you know?”

“And you are, honey. You’re already doing so much better and we are extremely proud of you.”

***

“Why do I have to wear a suit?!”, Eddie shouts from the bedroom as he adjusts his tie.

“Because we’re taking her to dinner, you idiot.”

“I’m just asking!”

“Plus, this will technically be our first date with her so we should look nice.”

Both men turn when they hear you exit the bathroom and their mouths fall open in shock as their eyes drink you in. Your hair was pulled up into a neat bun displaying a pair of earrings that shimmered when you moved your head. The thin spaghetti straps held up a gorgeous, black, V-neck style dress that just barely touched your ankles. When you nervously shifted your weight, the slit in the fabric exposed your leg up to your mid-thigh showing off some fancy, matching black high heeled shoes. 

“What, um, what do you think?”

“You…you…Jesus, I may be underdressed.”, Steve breathily chuckled.

“Eddie?”

“You look beautiful, princess.”

Blushing, you loop your arms into theirs as they escort you out of the hotel. When you three arrive at the restaurant, they watch you in amazement as you talk to the people in charge and an antsy gentleman leads you to a table. Steve pulls out your chair and you thank him as you take a seat. 

Both boys straighten up when a man comes out from the kitchen and heads towards you but immediately calm when you smile, assuring them that this is someone you know.

“Miss Y/L/N! It’s been so long, my love! How are things?”

“Things have been rough but they are getting better. Julien, these are my friends AND security, Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington.”

They grin as they shake his hand and he returns their smiles with a bright one of his own. 

“Who better to watch your back than a friend that loves you, ah? Now, mon amour, should we start with the usual champagne?”

“Oh, no. Um, do you have something without alcohol?”

“Hmm? Oh! How about citron pressé?”

“Sure, I trust you.”, you giggle as you shrug, watching him disappear without asking the guys if that was ok with them. “I have no idea what that is but—what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Both men had been starring at you with a cute, goofy smile plastered on their face. 

“Nothing. You’re just adorable.”

“It’s nice seeing this side of you to. You really needed a break, sweetheart.”

The rest of the meal couldn’t be described in any other way beside perfect. They talked to you more about some positive things in their lives trying to keep the mood uplifted. Eddie told you about his love for fantasy related things like D&D which made you laugh when the other man rolled his eyes. Steve surprised you by telling you of some movies he actually really liked.

“Ok you can’t sigh aggressively when I talk about sci-fi fantasy shit but then tell her that one of your favorite movies is Star Wars!”

“It’s completely different, Munson.”

“How!?”

“It’s actually not that different.”

“Thank you, princess!”

“But to be fair, George Lucas said he made Star Wars kind of like a western so Steve may drift more towards that then regular sci-fi.”

“Ok, you’re not on my side anymore. Hush.”, Eddie responds playfully.

You did your best to tell them more happy memories with you and your family but you struggled because it hurt. Every time you stuttered through a story, though, one or both of them would reach for your hand and urge you to continue. 

After you were done eating, you kept your word and took them to the Eiffel Tower as it was all lit up. The people in charge cut off a section so you three wouldn’t be noticed or bothered which you greatly appreciated. 

“Wow, check out that view.” Steve exhaled as he took a few pictures pausing when he noticed your face as you leaned against the railing. “You alright, honey?”

“Yeah. I just wish I could stay here in this moment. I’m having a lot of fun with you two and I think this is the first time in a long time I’ve actually been…happy.”

Eddie’s palm gently reaches out to run down your back before bringing you to his chest to wrap you up in his embrace. 

“I know what you mean. Stop me if I’m wrong Harrington but we’ve never felt like this about anyone before. We really like you, Y/N.”

“We’re all in if you are.”

“You barely know me. What if I fuck up again? What if I hurt you? What if…I’m not what you thought I am?”

“She’s doing that thing again.”, Eddie murmurs to Steve as he releases you and leans against the railing. “It’s like her own brand of self-harm…or maybe self-protection?” He raises his eyebrows inquisitively and you quickly shift your gaze. “Ah yes. There it is. She keeps says ‘What if I’ but what she really means if ‘What if you’.”

“Baby, we’re not asking you to marry us or anything. What we’re asking for is MORE nights like tonight. To be able to take you out more and get to know you better and vice versa. We know you’ve been through a lot and still are. We would never push you like they do.”

“And quite frankly, sweetheart, I don’t think there could be any more surprises because you’ve already showed us you’re not who we thought you were originally.”

“Spoiled, washed up singer.”, Steve explains when you look at them in confusion. 

“When it comes to the I’s, babe, we got you covered. You slip again and want to run all over Vegas, we’ll come get you. You have one of those moments where you try to verbally hurt us, don’t worry, we got you. We have ropes and handcuffs for situations like that.” You can’t help but giggle when he winks. 

“When it comes to the you’s, you can ask us anything and we’ll answer. If there’s something you need or need to know just let us know and we can talk about it.”

Glancing out towards the city, you feel everything run through your brain at once. You knew from the moment you met them that they were different. You trust them with your life so why were you so scared to trust them with your heart?

Because everyone who’s supposed to love you, hurts you…

Do they even love you? They can’t possibly…like you said they barely even know you. I guess it couldn’t hurt to jump in with both feet.

“Ok. Can we…we keep it between us?”

“We honestly assumed you would because of the press and everything.”, Eddie answers with a small smile. 

“I think that’s another reason Simon was with me. He liked the attention from the press.”

“Hm. Well, coming from a small town where everyone was in everyone’s business, trust me, we don’t want that kind of attention.”, Steve retorts as he leans over the railing like you had. 

Looping your arm through his, you lean your head against his shoulder as Eddie holds your hand and looks out into the city.

##############

“I have a request.”

“Oh lord.”, the metalhead playfully sighs making you smile.

“Calm down, Mr. Munson.”, you giggle. “The other night I asked you two to show me how much you care about me…” They nod when you pause, urging you silently to continue. “Can you show me how to take care of you?”

Both men, who were now sitting on the couch in the hotel room looked up at you now with slight confusion. 

“When we first got together, you said you liked it rough. The other night you implied there was more to what you both were into. I want to give you what you want.”

“You do, honey.”

“You really do.”, Eddie follows almost too eagerly. 

“I still don’t think your ready.”, Steve sighs as he takes off his jacket and starts rolling up his sleeves. 

“Isn’t this all about trust? Not only do I trust you two but you should trust me to know my limits. Well…in this regard.”

The other man takes off his jacket as well, removing his button up shirt underneath along with it now donning a white tank that displayed his muscles and tattoos in a way that had you salivating. 

“Oh, come on, Stevie. We can start slow. Maybe we can show her what a punishment would look like. Something small for running away and having us worried.”

Steve sighs playfully as he motions with his fingers for you come closer. As you sit beside him on the sofa, he gently pets the back of your head while they both continue to look at you with nothing but care. 

“If you feel uncomfortable at any point, just say the safe word, ok?”

“Ok, Steve. I promise.”

He grins as his hand slides down to your back and guides your body till you’re laying across his lap on your tummy. While he flips up the underside of your dress Eddie runs his fingers through your hair, moving any lingering strands away from your face. 

“How many you think, Ed? 10?”

“10 sounds good. I think she can handle that.”

As your stomach tightens into knots with nerves, Steve’s palm soothes you as it runs down your spine and over the meat of your ass. Abruptly, it lifted and came down spanking your behind eliciting a shocked gasp from your lips. He didn’t hit you hard as it was meant to test.

“How did that feel, babe?”

“Um, odd but g-good.”

“Has anyone ever spanked you before?”, Eddie asked.

“No. Not like this.”

“Honey, I want you to count for me, ok?”

“O-O-Okay. One.”

His hand come down much harder and this time you let out a little moan especially after Steve soothes you by running his fingers along the reddening skin. 

“Two.”

“Good girl, sweetheart.”

He spanks you twice in quick secession and they both let out a groan of their own as you breathily count them off. Steve tugs down your panties, his hand coming back to travel a bit between your legs as your mouth falls open when his thumb slides between your sex. 

“Oh, Eddie. Little baby is so wet right now. I think the spanking doesn’t feel so odd anymore, huh?”

When you didn’t answer, ringed fingers gripped your hair tightly and tugged you back. 

“He asked you something, your highness.”

“Feels…good…AH! Five!”, you moaned as Steve spanked you again.

Eddie held a tight grip on you as the other boy began steadily rubbing your clit while occasionally delivering a harsh smack to your ass. 

“What number are we on, baby? Wouldn’t want Stevie to lose count and have to start all over again.”

“Mmm—Nine—Please, Steve. I’m gonna…”

You didn’t see it but they smirked at each other as he slide two fingers into your core and rapidly pumped them inside of you. Your eyes rolled as the coil snapped and as you moaned his name his hand came down one final time while you panted out that final number. 

“Good girl, honey.”, he cooed as he delicately lifted your dress over your head. “Let’s get this off here.” You keened into his neck as he sat you up and placed you in his lap while Eddie ran his palm along your legs. “Did you like it, baby?”, Steve whispered.

“Yeah, I liked it a lot. Did you like it? Spanking me?”

He chuckles under his breath, trying to stifle the moan that wants to come out at the sound of your little voice. Reaching for your hand, he places it directly on the bulge in his slacks. 

“I loved it.” Your eyes flutter closed as his lips tenderly trail up your cheek to your ear. “You like that, pretty girl? You like making us feel good?”

“M-More. Please. I can handle more. I swear.”

They glanced at each other mischievously knowing you were all riled up. 

“No.”

“Please! I can handle it!” As you begin to whine they smile and you can’t help but laugh. “You’re messing with me?”

“A little. We’re kind of curious in this headspace how far your brat can go.” Eddie’s grin grows as you climb on to his lap and wrap your arms around his neck. 

“Do you want me to be more bratty?”

“I think you’re capable of it. I work with you remember?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Hey. In here, honey, you answer us, not the other way around.”, Steve scolded. 

The metalhead tries to keep the upper hand as you grind your hips against his own. His eyes remain heavily on yours as he licks his lips to keep any other sounds from escaping. 

“In here, sweetheart, we have control.”

“You do out there to!”, you whine as you point absently outside. “Where do I have control?”

“Stop moving.”, he says sternly.

“Make me.”

His eyes grow dark as the smile he was adorning falls from his face. 

“Stop. Moving.”

You falter for a second as his voice and demeanor throw you off guard but you remain steadfast as you continue. Steve laughs from your side before Eddie lifts you up with one arm and carries you to the bedroom. 

Throwing you on to the mattress, he holds your down with his palm on your chest as he uses his other to unbuckle his belt and free his cock from its confinement. 

“If you want to stop, just tap twice, ok?” When you nod, his fingers grip your hair as he hovers his face above yours. “Ok?!”

“Ok! Yes, sir! Tap twice!”

Steve nonchalantly throws himself beside you as he watches Eddie slide his cock into your mouth. 

“She’s so fucking stubborn sometimes. I swear.”

While the metalhead takes over thrusting his length down your throat, Steve is always alert, watching you to make sure you really were ok. They genuinely did trust you would say the safe word if you needed but neither boy wanted to push you that far. 

“Fuck, princess your mouth feels so fucking good. With all that fucking sass, I’m not sure she deserves our dicks in her pussy tonight, Harrington.”

Eddie tried to control his eyes from rolling back when he felt you groan around him. 

“Did you have something you wanted to say?”

“Please. I’m sorry, Eddie. I’ll do whatever you want. I promise I’ll behave.”, you beg as you shift up to your knees and continue stroking him with your hand. “Please. I need you inside me. I need to feel you.”

Pinching your cheeks between his fingers, he brings your lips to his before firmly pushing you backwards onto the bed. 

“Go show Steve how much you’ll behave.”

As you crawl over to the now naked man, you tenderly kiss his stomach making him smile as he strokes your hair. Delicately running your tongue along his slit, he moans as he pulls your hair into a ponytail with his hands and watches you fully take him into your awaiting mouth. 

Eddie jostled you around a bit till your ass was fully on display for him and you both whimpered as he guided his cock into your entrance. The warmth of his chest encases you as he leans against your back and kisses your shoulder. 

“Come on, sweetheart. I know you can take him better than that especially with the way you run that sassy mouth.” Taking over Steve’s hold of your hair, he guides your movements making you gag and drool as the man mewls with pleasure. “Atta girl. There you go.”

Eddie rolls his hips hard, roughly nudging against that tender spot inside of you that has your eyes rolling back. 

“Is that the spot, pretty girl?” Pulling your head, he forces you to look at him. “Is it? Right there?” You struggle to form words as he continues to grind against you. “Answer me, Y/N.”

“Ah! Y-Yes, there. D-don’t stop. Please…”

The metalhead grins as he pushes you back down on Steve’s cock before releasing his hold on your hair to grip your waist as he leans back on his knees and pounds his hips into yours. 

“G-Good girl, honey. Fuck. You take us both so well.”, Steve coos as he pets your head.

Eddie’s fingers slide underneath you, rubbing fast circles into your little bundle of nerves, driving you crazy in the best way as you throw you head back in pleasure. 

“FUCK! Eddie please!”

Ringed fingers wrap around your throat and pull you up to your knees as you lean against his shoulder. 

“That’s right, baby. Say my name again. Who’s making you feel this good?”, he murmurs into your ear as he slams into you harder. 

“Eddie! I’m…Eddie, please…”

Your hand takes hold of his wrist as your other clings his hair while your arm wraps around his neck. His fingers move faster to match his pace while you continue chanting his name until the ball drops and your body trembles against him as you cum. 

“Fuck me.”, Eddie groans, shoving you back down against the mattress and holding your wrists behind your back as he chases his high. 

Grunting above you, his rhythm becomes sloppier and you mewl as you feel him release his seed inside of you. 

“Good girl, princess.”, he praised as he gradually pulled out of you and kissed any part of your skin his lips could reach. “It’s Steve’s turn, sweet girl. Whenever you’re ready.”

Your head shot up in search for him and as your eyes met his soft ones, his fingers reached out to caress your sweaty face. When you nod, he motions for you to come closer, taking hold of you under your arms and scooting you both up closer towards the pillows. 

“Come here, honey. No, the other way.”, he instructs as you started straddling his waist. After turning away from him, he guides you down till your back his against his chest. One of his strong palms holds on to your chest as his other holds the base of his cock and runs to along your dripping lips between your legs. “Jesus. Eddie made you feel real good, didn’t he, baby?”

Nodding, you turn your head to kiss his cheek and he moans as he breaches your entrance, sheathing himself inside of you with minimal resistance. As he thrusts his hips up against you, his fingers move around to massage your nub as the hand on your chest takes hold of tit making you growl in ecstasy.

“Steve! So…so deep…oh god.”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, Y/N?” Picking up his pace, the bed begins to move underneath you as he clings to your sweaty, messy frame. “Fuck, that’s it. That’s our girl. Your pussy is just fucking clinging to me, pretty girl, God damn.”

 Pushing up, you balance on your hands as your hips push down to meet his. 

“Can you see it? My cock disappearing inside of you?”

“Steve, please. Please!”

Tugging on your hair, he pulls you back against him, hugging your tightly as he thrusts into you harder. The sound of skin hitting skin fills the room and your eyes roll back as you drag your nails against his flesh.

“I’m…I’m…”

Without warning, he shoves against your back pushing you up and pulling himself out of you, yanking your hips backwards till your pussy was hovering over his face. Roughly, his hands pushed you back down, urging your lips over his cock as he wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you still as he his tongue devoured you. 

Your hips grinded against him as his head moved quickly from side to side causing you to lift your head and scream as you came. As he continued to lick your clean, you bobbed your head around his length wanting him to feel as good as he had just made you feel. 

His grunts reverberated in your cunt as he pumped his hips upwards till you felt rope after rope of his spend hit the back of your throat.

Falling to the side, you both panted till Eddie’s voice broke the silence. 

“Yeah, that’s cool. Just put your feet by my face.” You giggled as you lifted your leg and touched his nose with your big toe. “Ew, gross. With these beautiful pedicured, toes. Still purple, I see.”

“I like purple and no one is looking at my feet that closely in an arena style concert.”

“Do you want to take a bath, Y/N, or a shower?”, Steve asks.

“I want to curl up into a cocoon and sleep for 100 years.”

“Ok, bath it is.”, he grinned as he rolled over the side and lifted you into his arms. 

While he got everything ready, Eddie’s hands lightly gripped your shoulders and tilted you forward. When your eyes shifted to the mirror, you realized he was looking at your behind.

“It doesn’t hurt. I mean, it’s sore but…”

“I figured. I just need to take a look and make sure you don’t need any ice or anything. I’m sure you’ve noticed but Steve Harrington has big hands so sometimes he unintentionally leaves marks that last for a couple of days.”

“Part of the reason I ask questions.”, he winks as he guides you into the water.

“No one has ever asked me questions before or even done any kind of aftercare. I like it. It makes me feel cared for. 

“We do care… a lot.”, Eddie smiles as he holds up your hair while Steve continues to clean you. 

“Is this normal for you two? The shared partner thing?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘normal’ but we’ve done it before. Never with a client, however.”, Steve sighs. 

“So…this could look bad for everyone if people found out?”

Both men stopped moving as they gave you their full attention. 

“Yes. And not just because of the press.”

“People may not hire us anymore if they thought our judgment could be altered when it came to protecting them.”, Eddie followed in a serious tone.

“Are you implying Mr. Munson, that your judgment in keeping me safe has now changed?”

“I’m saying, Y/N, I would take a bullet for you but, for example, us keeping you sober isn’t a part of the security job description. If…If you wanted to get drunk right now we shouldn’t have any say in that…”

“Unless it leads to you roaming Paris in your underwear or makes someone want to hurt you.” Steve glances over your serious face. “What are you thinking, honey?”

“I just…I see what you mean. I wouldn’t want either of you to take a bullet or get hurt because of me. I’d rather it be me…”

It had been a while since you saw their eyes shift into this particular authoritative glow. Steve almost too roughly cupped your cheeks in his hands as he forced you to look at him. 

“Don’t ever think or let us hear you say that again. It’s our job to keep you safe not the other way around. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, I understand.”, you whisper as your hands takes hold of his wrists. 

“Y/N, like I said, we care about you but if your safety is on the line BECAUSE of us then we would end this right here right now.”

You pushed down the urge to cry at the thought of them leaving you. They had done so much for you in the short time they had been a part of your team. 

“I promise I won’t interfere. I trust you both to take care of me.”

Steve’s eyes flick to Eddie’s for a moment before he kisses your forehead and lets you go. 

##########

The following Monday, the three of you were sitting in your manager’s office waiting for him as he burst through with Sarah in tow. 

“Well, look who decided to finally grace us with her presence. How was the vacation, Y/N?”, Jack sassed. “I don’t know why you two are even here. You’re fired.”, he gestures towards the boys. 

“No they aren’t.”

“Excuse me?!”

“I said no they aren’t and you lower your voice when you speak to me!” Sarah smiled from her seat as the men on either side of you contained their excitement for you. “Jack, I’m tired. You were one of the ones that kept pushing me to get sober and now that I’m trying…I shouldn’t be on tour right now especially not with people like Mark shouting at me every 10 seconds. I need time to really have go at this.”

“Y/N…”, he sighed. “We’ve had this tour set up for months. Now I’ve put up with a lot from you but—”

“But nothing. I’m telling you no. I need a break. I can do interviews and keep working on the album. I can do little shows here but I can’t do a country wide tour right now.”

“Y/N, listen to me. Hear me. If you do this, if you cancel this tour, I will be forced to drop you as a client.”

You straighten up as you exhale, tapping into that sassy girl that resides within you. 

“So be it. Sarah? Have you thought about being an agent?”

“Me? Oh, um, I mean…”

“You’re honestly the only person I trust who has always had my well-being in mind. I’ll pay you what I pay Jack and then some.”

She smiles as she glances towards your now former agent. 

“I guess I just got a promotion.” You both stand, giving her a big hug before she pulls back to cup your face. “I’m really proud of you. I’ll come by later today and we can talk about a statement for the tour.”

“Y/N, please! Don’t do this! Look, why don’t you sit down and we can talk about this rationally.”, Jack begs. As he reaches for your arm to stop you from leaving, Eddie swats it away. 

“I’m sorry, sir. You aren’t allowed to touch Miss Y/L/N.”

“But if you would like to speak with her, feel free to call her agent Sarah to set up an appointment.”, Steve grins as they both follow you out of the office. 

#############

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[somethingpersonarelated]

Akechi's taste in Literature

I've taken an interest in the books Akechi reads. Obviously from the first time you talk with him, you can already tell what he tends to: psychology, philosophy, and mythos. Also, I read at least a little bit from every text. One of my professors out there is proud of me. I hope. So: let's talk about it!

Ok, but why care? Quick Introduction

No particular reason. I simply want to tinker with his brain. I think it could give us insight on the character! And there's an easy way to dismiss this conversation: Akechi uses books as a way to appear intelligent. I don't think that's wrong per se, but he does express an interest in psychology and philosophy in his third semester Jazz Jin discussions. His thieves den conversations also point to interests in mythos. Use this as a "Annoying Person Bookshelf" if you'd like, I certainly will.

Aristole's De Anima (Mementos Mission - Chapter 3)

De Anima, or "On the Soul" [Leob Classical Library], is an examination of the soul and how it functions within the body. It's pretty dense but easily accessible. On page 15,

"There are times when men show all the symptoms of fear without any cause of fear being present. If this is the case, then clearly the affections of the soul are formulae expressed in matter."

Now, I'm not going to read every book, that would be a huge investment. And unfortunately I am still a university student, so I'll stick to the introduction/first chapters or so. But anyways, to the point of the quote, De Anima tends to get metaphysical. Theory time: Akechi has morbid fascinations with the soul. Not only because he well, kills people, but also messes with the restraints on their heart. I choose this quote because it's a good summary of the kind of body horror someone messing with you in the metaverse is like. It's fear and anger unchained, but it manifests in reality through subway accidents... for example.

Hegel's Dialectics (did Akechi misquote Hegel?) - Rank 1

Look, almost all of these texts are slogs to get through, so I wouldn't blame Akechi for not catching this. Or not reading the 2017 in-universe equivalent of cliffnotes. Note: Dialectics refers to the structure/strategy that Hegel uses, not a text itself. Looking at the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy we see that Hegel never makes mention of the thesis, antithesis, and synthesis idea. Rather, thesis-antithesis-synthesis is a pattern in his arguments. These are also projected by people reading his text, so we can't fully be sure he's using this to formulate most of his arguments. So not only has Akechi forgotten synthesis, the "unification", but also the fact that Hegel doesn't talk about this. Did he read Hegel? Probably. Did he retain the information? Questionable. Do I blame the writers for making the mistake? mmmm. Maybe. If you're asking me to guess which book he read, I would estimate it was The Phenomenology of Spirit [Google Books]. And yes, I'm going to say it was just because of this quote on page 9 that just, screams Black Mask:

"The force of the mind is only as great as expression; its depth only as, as deep as its power to expand and lose itself when spending and giving out its substance."

Maurice Leblanc's Arsène Lupin vs Sherlock Holmes (Herlock Sholmes) (P5A)

This book I read because my curiosity definitely got the better of me. Since I've gotten into Persona 5 again, I've been DYING to read this one, but never got around to it. I think this one is also interesting to look at based on how it was represented in the anime, a crow escaping a bird cage. I can say that this doesn't happen in the book, but this is why I think Akechi is self inserting on Holmes/Sholmes here. Holmes is much freer as a person in this text than Akechi, but also in a deep rivalry with Lupin. Their banter is also pretty reminiscent of what they [Joker and Akechi] have, but... with older language. Longer quote, so here's an image in its place:

Edit/Correction: Edogawa Ranpo's Kogoro Akechi Series!

As pointed out by a couple people, we can't leave out this series. (credits to @heavy-metal-papillon) I don't know why my mind blanked and left this out. Because when I was doing research for this post someone had mentioned it. Just by name, it should be obvious why this is here! Here is a part of the preface that explains Kogoro Akechi, Arsene Lupin, and their presence in Edogawa's novels (written by Ho-Ling Wong):

Literature he makes references but doesn't mention (note: headcanon/my opinion)

John Stuart Mill's On Utilitarianism

Because Akechi knows how to flirt, he recommends philosophy to Joker. [Early Modern Texts] In my eyes he definitely doesn't agree with this philosophy (in fact some quotes are definitely more aligned with Maruki's philosophy). Page 8:

"That’s because the utilitarian standard is not •the agent’s own greatest happiness but •the greatest amount of happiness altogether; and even if it can be doubted whether a noble character is always happier because of its nobleness, such a character certainly makes other people happier, and the world in general gains immensely from its existence."

Yes, Akechi reads Freud. Freud's essays: Beyond the Pleasure Principle & The Ego Principle

In an offhanded comment about Personas in the Thieves Den to Ryuji, Akechi says:

I love you Akechi. I will not read Freud for you. My love has limits.

Carl Jung's Two Essays on Analytical Psychology

Okay I'm NOT reading this (a lie, i did. [Internet Archive]) but this was the foundational text on the Jungian Archetype of the Persona as well as addressing concepts such as "the will to power." Going to leave this quote from page 78 for you to munch on:

"Logically, the opposite of love is hate, and of Eros, Phobos (fear); but psychologically it is the will to power. Where love reigns, there is no will to power; and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking. The one is but the shadow of the other..."

There's a couple things here that point to Akechi reading this, but ultimately I just headcanon that he wants to reason through why Personas exist.

Generally reads about the casts Personas!

Similarly to how Joker can read about the other PTs Personas, Akechi does as well. Well, if his morbid discussion about Captain Kidd in the Thieves Den is an indicator. Does this mean Akechi is familiar with the Carmen stage opera? I think so. Besides, it's also the smartest move. Akechi (head)canonically reads lovecraft.

Conclusion

Akechi really enjoys psychology and philosophy, and while some of it seems like he's doing it for attention/to appear smarter, he DOES continue to show interest in third-semester/thieves den. I still can't forgive him for reading Freud.

The List (of ones directly mentioned here)

De Anima, Aristotle

The Phenomenology of Spirit, Hegel

Arsène Lupin vs Sherlock Holmes, Leblanc

On Utilitarianism, John Stuart Mill

Beyond the Pleasure Principle & The Ego Principle, Freud

Two Essays, Carl Jung

The Fiend with Twenty Faces, Edogawa Ranpo

Other notes and headcanons I can't justify giving sections to:

he probably read that fuckass billiards book

definitely stuff on justice. i was just lazy. Some of these texts do cover these ideas, but definitely not all of them

he likes detective novels. he's probably read a fair share of sherlock holmes.

he probably reads adjacent literature to some of the philosophers mentioned (for example: Nietzsche to Jung, Plato to Aristotle)

[reysdriver]

Stop The World | S.B.

Sirius proposes to take you away at your arranged engagement party to Lucius Malfoy — sirius x fem!pureblood!reader angst

warnings: cheating but the good kind lol, reader is in an unhappy/forced relationship

words: 0.8k

a/n: this is like loosely based on the song Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You by Arctic Monkeys (go listen its amazing) and I may be doing a part 2 later

You were the only person wearing white in a sea of black or colours only a few shades away. That wasn't the only reason you were uncomfortable. You were surrounded by pureblood maniacs who only cared to be here so they could pester you with questions about having an heir immediately after graduating from Hogwarts.

Your family arranged a wedding between you and Lucius Malfoy, and you couldn't even voice your dismay for fear of being disowned and having nowhere to go. So, because you couldn't do anything else, you took a sip of your drink and tried to drown out the conversations around you. 

"Shall we dance?" Lucius asked you, void of emotion. 

You didn't give him a verbal reply. Instead, you just held out your hand for him to take and walked with him to the area where several other unhappy couples waltzed. 

His hands dropped down to your waist—too possessive for your liking—and you brought your hands up to rest on his shoulders. You danced, barely making eye contact or speaking or doing anything else couples do. 

Interrupting the tension of the dance, you saw Sirius Black walking closer to you and you held back a smile. Your eyes darted to the side so as to continue looking at him, and you concluded that he was, in fact, walking right over to you. 

"Malfoy." Sirius said, getting Lucius' attention. "Mind if I steal (y/n) for a dance?" 

He looked hesitant, but you knew the majority of that was just due to the rivalry between the two young men. 

You tried to get Lucius to leave, making a pointless excuse for him to go away. "Lucius, would you mind getting me another drink? And perhaps you could greet some of our guests on your way."

His mood remained largely unchanged, but he wanted to avoid making a scene over something so small at this party. He let go of you and walked away. You quickly resumed the dance with Sirius, only much more comfortable as you were in the arms of your secret boyfriend. 

"This isn't what you want. You know that." 

"And what is it that I want?" You asked with a cocky head tilt. 

"Me." The word caused you to roll your eyes, even though it was absolutely true. "But not just me. Anything but this, really."

You gazed into his silver eyes, imagining the happy life with him that he had insinuated with those few words. He was right, you wanted to get out of this life, but you felt trapped. It's not easy being a sixteen year-old with your life mapped out for you by wealthy relatives who couldn't care less about your happiness as long as the bloodline was continuing. 

"Well, it's a shame I'm already engaged." You said sadly, and he twirled you in sync with the music. 

He pulled you back into his arms, the two of you were perhaps even closer together than you had been a few moments ago. "But not married." He countered. "And even if you were, I wouldn't care. I would still offer to sweep you away and be with you."

You tried to keep your voice down. If other guests heard you having this conversation, you were sure it would not end well. "Well, my knight in shining armour, how do you plan to rescue me from this tower? I'm sure the dragons would not be pleased to hear I want out."

"You don't have to tell them. I plan on running away and living with the Potters, you should join me. I have my uncle's fortune, and I could buy us somewhere to live and keep us afloat after graduation." 

The proposal scared you more than anything, but it was everything you've ever wanted. You wanted to jump into his arms and have him carry you away that instant, but you saw Lucius coming back with a glass of champagne, and you knew you had to wrap up the conversation. 

"I'll be needing some air in ten minutes. I'll go out to the gardens, meet me there." You said quickly and quietly, then you unwrapped your arms from his shoulders and gave him a polite kiss on the cheek. 

Your betrothed—the official one—handed you the drink, and you took a sip with perfect etiquette. 

"Thank you for the dance, Sirius." You said, both of you holding back your joy from public eyes. 

"Thank you, my dear. This party is lovely, by the way." 

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

Based on your post @sassyassblog 😁:

P.S. I'm using the MonsterVerse Kaijus as humans since this is also from my GenAU MV Edition. So no worries.

Here's the scenario:

"Man..." thought Godzilla as he walked tiredly towards his mansion, "I need a quick nap..."

Turning around making sure no one was sneaking at him, he knelt down to the front door and snag a key he secretly kept from a carpet. He opened the door and enter before closing it shut.

The man took off his shoes and socks before putting it on a casket beside the door. His darkish black to navy blue hair is in mess due to the extreme heat back from where he work at a city and also in due course of his job. As usual, he often comes late at home since his wife, Mothra, usually is first to arrived home shortly before himself.

Still, she's not here, so maybe Godzilla need an extra free range of their cozy house. Once his wife arrived home, he smirked at the deal that he told her a few days ago.

He needs to arrange a few things.

It was already 5:15 PM, Godzilla thought about his best friends. Most likely, Rodan, Anguirus and Kong were sometimes having a sleepover with him (which Mothra denies it for their unruly manners, something that Godzilla feared for her anger), only for 2 days. Or even a week if there's an activity going around the mansion he and Mothra owned. Currently, Rodan had finally found a job as a chef from a local restaurant, Anguirus deliberately needed to pass an exam to be a history teacher, and Kong...well...he's still a policeman and work tirelessly to earn some savings for his adoptive deaf daughter Jia and her adoptive mother Ilene Andrews.

Success earns hardwork and support, that's something Mothra - yes, she is a science and art teacher - reminded them for their lives.

Anyway, just as Godzilla was about to head upstairs...

"LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKK AT ME~"

He jumped from a sudden breakout of a familiar voice that scared the shit of his pants. Well, whoever broke in to his home without permission shall get the beat out of their shit in no mercy, he swore it.

Instantly, the man heard a sound of a running water coming across the bathroom (the door was practically open slightly). Carefully not to make any noise, Godzilla tiptoed from the source, only for his eyes scanned from something he just ever seen in the entire motherfucking world.

"WHAT THE FU-"

"TELL ME WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT YOU SEE~"

Standing in the middle of a shower is none other than RODAN!

By the looks of it, his back was on a curtains, showering by himself, and practically naked (well, half naked to be exact). The fiery red haired Mexican man didn't seem to bother that Godzilla was there peeping. In his hand was a brush used to scrub on a skin, preferrably the ones that Mothra used it.

Damn, of all places...

"AM I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD OR BAD~"

Godzilla had never been slack-jawed of how fucking awesome Rodan's singing voice is. I mean, he had seen Rodan singing crazily after drinking a shot too much back from their old times sake, which he and even Kong dragged him all because of his violent manner after having a fight with some unwanted men from a bar. But this one...

"Woah..." Godzilla breathed, "Rody's not so bad with that voice, I bet some girls would swoon over him if he was a celebrity."

"DON'T YOU JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDGGEE SO FAST~"

But as Rodan twirled around...

"Hey, hey, hey-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Rodan let out a mightiest girlish scream of the entire mansion, almost shook off the ass out of his confidence. His eyes wide as dinner plates when he saw Godzilla on the door peeping, who was indeed startled by the redhaired man's scream.

Knowing he is caught red-handed, and indeed naked, he covered himself with his arms and hands, purposely snagged a towel beside the sink and wrapped it around his waist, before marching towards Godzilla and slammed the door shut.

"What was that for, Rodan?!" Godzilla growled.

"Like indeed you are peeping me without knocking!" Rodan bites back.

"Oh really? Then you should've closed it before your bird-brain of yours!"

"You just entered my-our own house without texting me?!" Godzilla said angrily, "You know what happens when Mothra finds out just like what happened to you and Ghidorah!"

"That's in the past now, we'll never do it again! I promised!"

"Then what are you fucking doing here?!"

Rodan slowly opens the door with a dull expression...

"...I'm running out of water back from my apartment and I haven't pay a rent so..." He gave him a puppy eyes.

Oh great. Just fucking great.

Rodan had barely payed a rent just to avoid himself kicked out by the landowner. Many times, he would got himself into trouble, and Godzilla and Kong even needed to bail him out because of that.

Godzilla sighed heavily, massaging his temples just to avoid 10 times headache and all.

"Okay, fine! I'll gave you a cash."

Rodan beamed.

"But! I'm not taking any chances! You need to worked harder, and you're already hired as a chef. I'm counting on you, Rody."

"Gracias mi mejor amigo."

"Now hurry up before Mothra finds out and gonna beat you out of your daylights."

"Okay!"

"BTW, Rodan..." Godzilla leaned over the wall, "I didn't know you have a wonderful singing voice."

"R-Really?"

"Yeah, good thing nobody would notice your quite voice and good looks..."

"And that you are indeed a good singer."

Godzilla and Rodan are startled by another voice, because that voice was no other than Godzilla's wife and His Queen, Mothra.

Sweat trickled down their foreheads, seeing the expression of the white-haired woman...

"Now..."

Oh boy.....

Outside, infinite babblings and pleading were heard followed by a loud smack as Godzilla and Rodan are deserved to be punished.

But at the same time, Mothra quitely likes the singing voice of the red-haired man, but hated the fact that Rodan dared to enter their house without permission.

Lesson learned, Rodan, the Fire Demon.

~✦~

From @adm-starblitzsteel-4305

Also, the song Rodan sang in the bathroom was titled "Good Tonight" by Daniel Pemberton and Anthony Ramos from the movie The Bad Guys.

Also, my MV Rodan's voice actor is Anthony Ramos. I thought that would be fun since Ramos voiced Mr. Piranha. 😁

And I am still looking for MV Mothra's voice actress while my MV Godzilla's voice actor is Keith David.

Well anyway, have fun reading it!

😉

[katerinaaqu]

Hey it's the anon who asked the elpenor's question, i meant it like his age during the illiad so i'm sorry for not being very specific.

But also i wanna ask about your thoughts on Eurylochus in Epic the Musical and how he is portrayed in the musical, since you're very honest on some things you dislike in it, i am genuinely curious on how you think of the musical version of him.

I see. I find it interesting that you clarified after 5 different replies Anon! Hahahaha! XD But yes I suppose I should have seen that coming. Like I said it is not impossible. Many soldiers in the war we are expecting to be at least 15 16 or 17 years of age. It is possible but we already analized that before. I for some reason imagined him closer to his 20s when he joined but both hypothesis are possible. Elpenor is a blank page after all.

I strongly dislike the plot of the musical yes. But I had mentioned to another post of mine that ironically Eurylochus was much more interesting as character development even than Odysseus himself. I think since Eurylochus was not THAT much expanded in the Odyssey apart from his role as Odysseus's oposition and kinda his "nemesis" in one way given how it was Eurylochus the one to persuade the men to slay the cattle of Helios. His character development, given what we had from the Odyssey, is not bad. In fact I came across some of the deleated or rejected projects and I am glad they rejected them because they pictured Eurylochus almost like a villain and that, in opposition of that massively toned down Odysseus they went for in the beginning, would have been catastrophic in my opinion for the rest of the plot. Given what they used at the end was not bad at all.

I actually find it so ironic and sad for me at least, that Eurylochus was more Odyssey-accurate and respecting the character development than Odysseus himself.

His fear was a massive part of character development and given how some scholiasts placed Eurylochus to most of the difficult adventures of Odysseus, including the cave of Polyphemus, which I also tried to memorize in my own drafts for Odyssey:

it is no wonder that he was frightened, let's say in parts like Circe. That part was accurate enough and up until that point I was very satisified with the portrayal of Eurylochus despite the changes that had started to emerge to the Musical. I also liked his primary theme song "How Much Longer" given how accurately it seems to depict the character development he would logically have; Eurylochus has been through much more than the average person would so no wonder he was often tripping at the end. Now the way Eurylochus was treated overall in the musical was very good. I strongly disliked the context he was placed in aka the plot of the whole thing because I feel Eurylochus would have shone much brighter in a more accurate setting the way he was given voice and more lines in the musical than in the Odyssey. His character development was much more natural than any other character in the musical; Polites was massively stripped down as the "kind-hearted relief" given how he was a clean-slate character that was not as bad as others but still I think Polites would have shone better if he had more sides than just childish gladness and innocence. Then we have Odysseus who was massively toned down to be an almost "from white to black" character development; from an edge to another; he started off as innocent like "don't hurt this" or "don't kill that" (not counting Astyanax by the way. Mostly speak about the early drafts I saw plus his behavior with Polyphemus and all) to go to the other end

Eurylochus didn't follow that trap. He was depicted as a human character with doubts and worries, strengths and weaknesses. In fact characters like Eurylochus made me even more disappointed at the way the musical treated the source material because the existence of the first two sagas and Eurylochus probed that he can take liberties, he can create an engaging plot without screwing over the original material. Now Eurylochus in Mutiny song had me cringe but that is not because of the character itself but because of the plot. Ironically the character was very accurate in that scene but there the plot felt very rushed; it didn't show the true depth of their fear and hunger waiting for days and days in the island of Helios having their provisions done and all but the reasoning behind his attack seemed compatible to Eurylochus's character, if that makes sense.

So I disliked only some polarized moments (or the whole nickname thing with the random "Ody" placed there out of nowhere. Like he never called him that ever and that was placed there to appease to the modern audience with pet names and nicknames which not only were not a thing in antiquity but also Eurylochus never openly used that before but okay) but as a character development is not bad. It was accurate to the source material and given more voice to work with.

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

chronic pain buck not telling anybody (tommy!)

This ask has been sitting in my inbox for a while, because I already had this WIP and initially wanted it to become a multi-chapter-thing. But, you know, life (and ideas)... so here's, finally, my humble offering of chronic pain Buck.

A Little Bit Off

Buck wakes up two hours before the alarm clock goes off, and he immediately knows what kind of day it's going to be. 

The world is still dim, a black veil of silence covering the loft. Buck squints at the ceiling until his eyes have adjusted to the darkness. There was a dream, what was it? It’s already slipping away from him, becoming transparent like a faded piece of fabric. It was at night, in a forest, I was running away from something, constantly looking back. Tripping over a root, I fell, I fell so hard – it was just a dream, but when I hit the ground my leg exploded. It wasn't the dream that had woken him, just a nightmare like many. It was the pain. In the past, Buck would have never believed that you can feel pain in a dream, so fresh and strong as if it wasn't just a memory, but had just happened. 

Now it's just a dull, throbbing pain, nothing like the tons of weight that crushed his leg back then. He has lost the actual memory of the fire truck on his leg, even though he knows exactly what happened, even though he was conscious. But those few minutes are missing from his memory, which is probably why he keeps hurting his leg in different, creative ways in his dreams. The pain, however, is real, both in his dreams and now. Not as bad as back then, no, but constant. This throbbing deep in his bones, it will stay with him all day. 

Buck has consulted three different doctors, he has googled his fingers to the bone, but there is no simple solution. This pain is chronic, and it doesn't really matter whether it's a nerve malfunction or a change in the weather. It comes and goes, flares up like a bush fire: quickly, without warning. And it’s just as difficult to extinguish. Buck debates with himself whether he should get up and take a pill, but painkillers often don't help, and he still has a shift. If he's going to gamble on his luck, he'd better do it later. 

All three physicians he visited are not LAFD contract doctors, for one simple reason: nobody must know about his problem. The days when he has no pain, when he can forget that he ever had it, it's easy to convince himself that it's not really a problem. It comes and goes, maybe at some point it will go forever. That’s a deceptive hope, and he knows it. But there’s a fear in Buck, deep down in his guts, that a permanent condition will destroy his career. 

He sighs into the darkness only to quickly turn his head. Did he wake Tommy? No. The sight next to him fills his heart, much more than the pain fills his thoughts, at least for a moment. A few tousled curls poke out of the blanket; they'll be gone in at dawn. Tommy is lying on the very edge of the bed – it's not necessarily too small, but for two such tall men, it kind of is. He has wrapped himself completely in the duvet. It would be nice if that was the real reason Buck woke up so early, wouldn't it? The guy keeps pulling the covers off him at night. He sighs again, quieter this time. 

Swinging his long legs out of bed, the treacherous mattress squeaks, and now Tommy is stirring, after all. 

"Evan?" 

He turns, squinting, but he can't keep his eyes open yet.

"S’it time yet?"

Tommy's sleepy voice causes a warmth to spread inside Buck, flowing through his whole body, lifting the corners of his mouth to a soft smile. 

"No, babe. Go back to sleep."

Was there something in his voice? Tommy blinks again, obviously not quite convinced. He pushes a strand of hair out of his face, opening his eyes. 

"Something wrong?" he asks.

How well he already knows him. Half a year of bliss, and this man notices nuances in Buck’s voice even when he’s not quite conscious. 

"I'm just going for a pee," he claims.

In the bathroom, Buck leans on the sink and looks at his reflection in the mirror. It’s strange that he looks so normal. A little disheveled, a little tired, but certainly not like a man whose leg feels like it's slowly being hollowed out from the inside. Thump, thump, thump, maybe there are little miners inside him, digging for gold. Buck grins at his reflection, but a smile that doesn't reach his eyes is just creepy. 

Thoughtfully, he runs his forefinger over the edge of the medicine cabinet. Should he take one now? Should he take it later? He feels like a drug addict, and that's an amazingly cold thought. Almost analytical. Because even if he only needs the pills sometimes, what if it gets worse? What if he needs them so regularly that he becomes really dependent on them? 

There is a whole spiral of thoughts that have just been waiting for Buck to let them surface. What if the pain gets so bad that he starts to limp? What if he deliberately doesn't put any weight on that leg and people start questioning his movement? What if he can no longer think straight because of the pain, ending up making a mistake?

Knuckles white, he clutches the sink again, gritting his teeth until his cheeks ache. Tommy, he thinks. If it has to start somewhere with nobody noticing, then it has to start with Tommy. The thought feels right and wrong at the same time. Buck lets the toilet flush, then runs cold water over his wrists. 

He returns with the vague hope that Tommy has simply fallen asleep again. Instead, the man sits upright in bed and says, "I've been thinking."

"It's like... 4:30 in the morning," Buck replies with a glance on the clock. "And you've got the whole blanket again." 

Snuggling up next to him, he tugs at the comforter until Tommy finally gives up a piece of it. 

"Yes, but I'm awake now," says Tommy. 

"Shit, I'm sorry."

"Never mind," Tommy returns good-naturedly, "your shift starts much earlier than mine, I'm sure I can sleep a little longer."

Well, I won’t, thinks Buck, but he’s careful to not let his thoughts show. He buries his face in Tommys side, breathing in his scent. It's something he would much rather become addicted to, that peculiarly stimulating smell of sleep and masculinity. 

"And what were you thinking about?" he mumbles. 

"That we should move in together."

Now Buck is also wide awake, even more so than before, and for a brief moment, the pain is actually irrelevant. He sits up, looking inquisitively into Tommy's face. It's still dark in the apartment, the sunrise can only be glimpsed behind the blinds. So whatever he sees now, it may be easy to misinterpret. 

In fact, Tommy's sharp features are soft in these pale surroundings. He almost appears… insecure. Buck doesn’t even know why he’s suddenly kind of shaken, after all he’s moved in with some of his partners before, and earlier, even. They've just never talked about it, maybe because it wasn't necessary, maybe because Tommy still thinks they should be taking it slow. Every time Tommy's supposed confidence crumbles when they're together, in such small, very tender moments, Buck feels like his heart is about to jump out of his chest. 

"Your place or mine?" he asks, and the smile he causes on Tommy’s lips is worth it. 

"Actually," Tommy returns, stroking Buck's hair, lost in thought,  "I thought we'd look for something new. Together."

"It's a big deal," Buck opines.

"Right, it's probably too soon."

There’s not even a hint of disappointment in Tommy's voice, he’s far too composed for that. Buck recognizes himself so much in this answer that it hurts, in a completely different way to his leg. It's easier to withdraw than to live with the disappointment of having your wishes ignored over and over again. Tommy knows this as well as himself, but it only seems to have made him stronger, while it made Buck sadder. At least until he met Tommy. And he doesn't want him to feel like that. 

"It's not," he says, leaning forward to brush Tommy's lips with his. "I'd like that."

"Really?"

"Really."

The sun rises, less outside the blinds but in Tommy's face. His kiss is unexpected and impetuous, regardless of the fact that they should both brush their teeth first. A second later, Tommy's lips graze Buck's earlobe, breathing a "This is going to be great" that sets his skin on fire. Tommy seems to sense this, he starts nibbling on the sensitive spot on Buck's neck.

"I thought you wanted to go back to sleep," Buck mumbles, but his hands are already kneading Tommy's muscular back.

"Hmm," returns Tommy, shifting to manhandle Buck on his back. "If you’re not sleeping, I’m not sleeping."

Tommy’s beautiful face above him, his hands all over his body, Buck knows that this will successfully ease his pain. For a few minutes, at least, he will no longer be able to distinguish between pain and passion. He will forget that he hurts, and it will be easy not to show.

Maybe, one day, he’ll be ready to tell Tommy about it. 

[divinelolita]

Hello! I love your writing so much, you saved me with the x male reader 🙏🏻 I was wondering if you could do one where Bill is always denying his sexuality. Like, reader already has feelings for him and Bill likes reader too but tries to push it away and in an interview Bill gets asked about liking men and he's like "of course I don't, it would be a waste for all the pretty girls" and stuff, just like that one interview and reader is kinda hurt. But when they get back to the tour bus and they all fall asleep, reader wakes up late at night and walks up to Bill crying and when he asks him what's wrong Bill expresses his fears and that he just wants to be loved for who he is and don't feel ashamed about it (already crying omg 😭) and then reader gets the opportunity and tells him about how he feels about Bill. In the beginning Bill denies it like, "no you can't love me, why me?" and insecurities and stuff but at the end reader kisses him and Bill gives in and then end up sleeping in each other's arms, Bill being the small spoon you know 😩 I hope you like the idea! Thank you so much!!

BILL X READER: INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA

hii love! im so glad you like my writing 🤞😻 ewwwahh it gets corny during the confession part but erm..

"Let's welcome Tokio Hotel, ladies and gentlemen!"

Bill wanted to puke as he heard those words, hearing all the fangirls and boys scream and squeal like guinea pigs. His stomach curled and he actually felt sick. Oh god, was it too late to cancel an interview? He just wanted to go back to the tour bus, to just sit and watch TV..put on one of M/N's favorite shows and eat snacks and.. -

"Bill, c'mon let's go! We'll follow you out." Tom hissed, patting his brother on the shoulder with a small push. The dreadhead paused, about to ask if Bill was feeling okay, because he looked ill and slightly more pale than usual, but Bill had already began to walk out from the curtains, praying to whatever god was out there he wouldn't trip. M/N followed shortly behind, giving Bill a smile when he looked over his shoulder with a fearful expression.

Bill sat down in the black chair on the stage, listening to the roars and claps of fans come from the space before him. He looked over at M/N, feeling his heart beat quicken. He really did like interviews sometimes, but actually sitting down infront of thousands of people was enough stress to make him go into tears. Although, as he looked at M/N, all his nervousness and anxiety slowly melted away with a small smile, accompanied with a pat to his shoulder. "We got this Bill, it's just like every other time."

He comforted, not looking away until Bill gave a soft nod and grin, thanking the boy under his breath as the applauds slowly died out. He turned his attention to the interviewer infront of them, an older man with greyish-blonde hair. Bill quite liked his tuxedo, he wondered if he could buy the same. His heart skipped a beat as the interviewer cleared his throat, folding his hands as he looked at all the band members.

"Ah..It's so nice to have you guys here!" The interviewer grinned. Oh god, the roars started up again, whistling and hoots coming from the crowd. The band could only smile and laugh, giving nods as they answered "Its great to be here." although it could barley be heard. As soon as the cheers died down again, the interviewer continued. "Hmm, there are a lot of people here. Why don't you all introduce yourself?"

Why oh why? Didn't everybody already know their names? Why did he have to introduce himself? Why why why why-

"I'm Bill Kaulitz. Singer." he smiled, looking over at the camera infront of them.

"Tom Kaulitz. Guitarist.."

"Georg Listing, I'm the bassist."

"Gustav Schäfer. Drums!"

"...M/N. Bassist aswell."

The crowd whooped inbetween everybody, which was starting to get old for Bill. Tom probably didn't mind, his twin watched as the brunette was looking off into the crowd, most likely at some hot chick. Bil resisted the urge to roll his eyes, he didn't want that on TV.

Bill sat nervously, on the edge of his seat as he saw how the interviewer glanced down at his notes before directly looking at Bill himself. "Mm.. Let's start with you Bill, yes?" God no. No thank you, anybody else start please.... "Yeah, why not?" Bill gave a small chuckle as he fixed his posture slightly. He braced himself, heart thumping as he stopped all movements as he began to ponder what the question would be. Oh no.. Please no.

His heart stopped as the interviewer leaned in with a sly smile, squinting his eyes slightly almost as if he was taunting Bill. "So, Bill," he began, taking a second to look at the crowd before continuing, "There's been some rumors squirming about your sexuality, as you might have heard due to the makeup and clothing...care to set the record straight?" Oh.

The crowd was uncomfortably quiet, looking at Bill with piercing eyes waiting for his response. Bill could feel the looks his band members were sending him, even Tom was looking directly at him with a quirked eyebrow. Bill cleared his throat, his mouth going dry as he felt his heart beat quicken. "Oh, no, no, no. I'm definitely not gay...would be a waste to all the girls don't 'cha think?" he responded, trying to ease the air. He nearly let out a relieved sigh as he heart the audience laugh a bit and clap.

He got the courage to look at his band members, but they didn't seem to care. Tom gave Bill a soft nod before returning his gaze to the audience. Georg gave a small smile and Gustav Rose his eyebrows for a second before letting them go back down, now looking at the interviewer awaiting the next question. As Bill looked at M/N, he expected him to at least give a soft grin, but no. He gave him a weird look...a look mixed with emotions Bil couldn't distinguish. He almost looked..sad? A tad bit hurt?

M/N could only clench his fists, blinking back tears threatening to fall. His heart sank deeper and deeper with each word Bill had spoken, and he felt like he was being stabbed repeatedly. He felt as if Bil was holding back- hell he knew he was lying. He knew Bill better than anyone. Okay..maybe not better than Tom. But he just knew something wasn't right.

Bil could only sigh as he leaned backinto hi seat, trying to ignore the thoughts he had about possibly angering M/N. He didn't intend to make him sad! Or hurt. Or whatever the hell he was...

Why was he so..upset?

---

Bill stammered back into the tour bus with a groan, barley making it to the couch. He plopped himself down, not bothering to take off his makeup. He heard a soft laugh from Tom as his brother put a hand to his forehead, checking if he was ill or overheated. He could make out a faint command come from his brother, yet didn't respond until the third time he said it. "Take off your jacket, you'll get too hot." he stayed motionless for a moment before removing the leather piece of clothing, taking it to the bunk beds as he threw it down next to his bunk. He pulled off his shoes and got into his bed, his hair still spikey and hard with hairspray.

M/N didn't really talk as the tour bus drove on, giving a soft smile to Georg when he had been told he was very well-spoken during the interview. He barley talked as he ate dinner, twirling the pasta on his fork as he spaced out, being reminded by Tom it would be cold if he didn't eat it. He glanced over at the unopened container of pasta, having the word 'Bill' written in chicken-scratch-like writing.

Then he glanced back at where Bill was laying down, how he could hear soft snores and shuffles come from the bunk. He felt a pang in his heart as he thought about just how beautiful Bill was today, how his makeup was more perfect than usual and how his clothes stood out. How his hair looked so gorgeous and how black his fingernails were.

How was it possible to be so amazing? He has always wondered whenever he glanced at the singer. Whenever he took a peak at Bill he couldn't pull his gaze away, mesmerized by the beauty infront of him. He just..loved Bill so much. Yet Bill didn't like boys, according to him. No, he liked girls.

M/N didn't speak for the rest of the night, going straight to bed shortly after he finished the last of his spaghetti.

--

M/N groaned as he suddenly awoke, his shoulders hurt and he couldn't move his legs for a few seconds. He turned to the other side of his bed, smiling when he became comfortable again. He muzzled into the blanket slightly as he sighed, looking forward to sleeping again. Until he heard a small sniffle. He tossed his head lazily over his shoulder, wincing as he pulled the muscle. The air was quiet, accompanied by the occasional snores coming from Gustav.

M/N ignored this, letting his head fall back down as he closed his eyes once more. He felt so good, he was so comfortable and he was so warm. He felt himself start to lose consciousness, hearing nothing but the faint beat of his heart in his pillow, and then another sniffle was heard. This time with a small sob attached to the end. He heard shaky breathes come from somebodies bunk, yet it was too high pitched to be Georg. Who would be crying right now...

"Bill?" M/N whispered hoarsly, his voice raspy and quiet due to just waking up. He listened to how the noises stopped the moment he said something, how the shuffling had instantly paused. He took a second to think if he was really gonna get out of bed. He was so damn comfortable, he was in the perfect position and...

M/N slowly got out of bed, wincing as his legs nearly gave out on him. He stood for a second, stretching, before he walked over to Bills bunk, the curtain covering his bed. He awkwardly stood there before whispering another soft "Bill.."

This time he asked, he heard another shaky breath followed by a sniffle. M/N hesitantly reached his hand out, pulling at the curtain softly. There Bill sat, knees up to his chest and his arms holding them even closer. His head was perched on his kneecaps as soft tears went down his face, down his cheeks and onto his neck and shirt. M/N took a second before he sat down next to his friend, attempting to comfort him.

Bill sat still, although soft sobs would escape his mouth. Although it was clear he was holding back, since his body was shaking and trembling. His eyes were basically red and his cheeks were flushed with pink. He could barley look at the boy next to him, only being able to glance over before he took in a shaky inhale and started crying again.

It stayed like this, completely silent apart from a few sniffles from Bill and snores from Gustav before M/N began to talk. "Bill..what's wrong?" He questioned, a hand going to rub his bestfriends back. Bill took a second before responding, leaning into the touch of his friend. "I'm..I’m scared, M/N." Bill muttered, his voice high pitched as he tried to stop his tears, soft whines coming from his mouth as he tried to breath probably.

"I'm just scared of being outed to the public..god they already think I'm gay anyways..." he hiccuped, his hands going up to harshly wipe his eyes. "I want to find someone..who likes me for me. Who actually likes me, M/N. I just wanna date and not have to worry about the gender of the person and..." Bill trailed off, covering his head with his hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm making this so awkward." he groaned, feeling uncomfortable as M/N stayed silent.

"I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to be scared, Bill. It sucks that we're famous and everything's on TV, huh?" M/N let out a watery chuckle, taking Bills limp hand into his own. "Ive seen you for who you truly are, how you are off screen. The real you. I love every part about you Bill, I truly do. I love you so much, all the way from your spiky hair to your platform shoes. I love you so much. " Bill peaked up from his arms, looking at M/N with an expression mixed with confusion and horror.

"No...no you can't. You can't love me that's not..." Bill blabbered, eyes flickering back and forth from M/N's. His heart beat quickened and he was sure it was going to pop out of his chest and fall out infront of them. "It's not right." Bill said, although his eyes filled with tears as he inched closer to his friend, actions going against his words.

M/N stayed silent, looking at Bills beautiful face before he leaned in, going to peck Bills lips. Bill nearly pulled away, but felt himself slowly melt into the kiss, gripping M/N's hand tightly. This wants right, he knew it. Or at least he thought he knew. He couldn't think about anything else other than M/N right now as the boy held his free hand into Bills chin. Bill felt an ungodly amount of weight lifting off his shoulders as his anxiety slowly drifted, leaving him feeling content and..strangely calm.

As M/N pulled away, he watched as Bills eyebrows scrunched in concussion, still holding M/N's hands tight. M/N traced the lines in Bills hands as best he could, due to the lighting not being the best before pulling away, and pulled up the covers from Bills bed, starting to get up to go to his own bunk. "Wait!" Bill whisper-shouted, trying not to wake the others up. He gripped onto M/N's forearm tightly, which made M/N pause and look at Bill with concern.

"Stay. Please."

Bill didn't need to say anything else. M/N crawled back in, laying next to Bill as he pulled the covers over both of them. "C'mere." M/N mumbled sleepily, feeling his eyelids grow heavy once more. Bill happily shuffled over, allowing himself to be spooned by his friend. Or boyfriend. Bill truly didn't know. That didn't matter right now though. All that mattered now was M/N's hand draping over Bills waist, holding him close.

Bill could only wish M/N would still be here with him by morning.