#and I don't know but the spitting is so crucial to me because it's like sealing in the fact that this man is actually that bad

[saintathelstan]

i keep coming back to the scenes with sheppard. like the guy's face falls when he thinks there's a possibility that benson was a former student of his. he looks worried that he might be recognized by him and it's like he's remembering exactly what he did. and then benson beats him up and it's so so visceral and violent. the way he screams when Randy's trying to talk him out of shooting, the way he's pacing, bursting at the seams until that final blow, the way he spits on him before finally walking away and leaving him for dead. and then he's so obviously falling apart and trying so so hard not to.

[ginevrapng]

𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐈 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄?

pairing: george weasley x slytherin!reader

word count: 5.2k words

content: no war au, non canon quidditch match, fluff, some angst, insecurities

a/n: this was super fun to write and my first long harry potter fic, hopefully you all enjoy it! hopefully george isn't too ooc in this. i might make a part two of this with smut but i'm not sure yet.

"did i ever tell you how beautiful you are?" spitting out your drink in shock you turn to look at your best friend and see him looking at you, swaying drunkenly. george has definitely had too much to drink tonight. before he can say anything else that you know he'll regret in the morning you cover his mouth with your hand. "honestly george, i leave you alone for an hour to talk to adrian and you get wasted and start sprouting nonsense. normally you're the one stopping me from doing stupid stuff, georgie," you giggle, vowing to make sure you don't get any drunker so you can get you both home safe.

you first met fred and george in potions in your 4th year and it was a rocky start, they didn't like slytherins and you didn't have the time and energy to waste on trying to get people to like you. however that all changed when in one class fred nearly messed up his wit-sharpening potion by putting gurdyroot in instead of ginger root, immediately you grabbed his wrist before he could put it in, straight away scolding yourself for doing such an idiot thing and dropping his hand. normally you wouldn't've minded if someone messed up their work, plus potions was your best class so it'd be less competition but sitting in front of george weasley and then right next to fred it was inevitable you took a liking to their antics, even if you never told them so or even spoke to them.

at the time fred was extremely suspicious, some girl who he'd never spoke to before stopping him from putting in an ingredient. before he could even question it you stated, "it's meant to be ginger root, you've got it wrong." you turned away from him and carried on with what you were previously doing, not wanting to see his reaction, you warned him and he'd do with that what he will. you expected him to not respond but you didn't expect utter silence from his workside. "you can believe me or not, i don't care. don't just do nothing though, snape's going to think you're up to something and it'll distract me when he comes over."

you started to get pissed off at weasley's lack of movement before you heard him not so quietly whisper to george, "oi, what's meant to be in this thing? gurdyroot?" you didn't hear what george said, you're not sure if it was because he was actually quieter or if you were slightly stunned and pleased with the fact he took some notice on what you said and didn't throw away what you said you said completely. in the corner of your eye you saw fred turn back around and almost sounded reluctant as he replied, "shit. urrr thanks.. i guess."

after that day you both took more interest in each other, only talking when having something that needed to be said but that was definitely an upgrade in your relationship. george took notice of this change but others didn't. by the end of your fourth year you talked in potions together all the time, with george joining in by leaning over to talk to you both, cheekily winking at you whenever he caught you looking at him, promptly leading to an eye roll from you and occasionally walking over to you under the guise of needing to get something where you were, leading to many detentions and you vowing to never speak to him again if he distracted you in crucial parts in class. everybody just thought george wanted to talk to fred but they were wrong.

you also listened to their prank ideas, giving impute when you can but mostly just fascinated by everything they were saying. you'd stealthily give them presents for christmas and their birthday and they'd always tease you about it but you'd always be able to tell they liked what you gave them. they also decided to bother you while you studied in the library. to this day you think about shock people must have had when fred and george said they were going to the library for the first time, madam pince probably thought she was going mad when she saw them.

it just turned into a secret, your friendship, you're not really sure how, you just knew that fred and george didn't want people to know about you. you wish you could have said the same but you had no interest in what others thought of you. you were very prideful of your house but you didn't care about your reputation, at those times you wish the twins felt the same. you would like to say it didn't bother you to keep quiet about how you're friends with them but it did, not all the time but sometimes it did get to you. you'd finally found amazing friends and they actually liked you for you and have interest in what you had to say, they were probably the closest friends you had and had ever had. you knew that you kept to yourself and you liked that fred and george somehow managed to get you to open up so being made to never speak to them in front of other people hurt sometimes. you sometimes wondered if you mattered that much in their lives.

that was answered to you after a quidditch match, slytherin against gryffindor. slytherin won by a landslide and for some reason the other team were off their game this time, whatever the reason it was a win to slytherin. you wished you could have cheered on fred and george, they are great beaters but you knew you couldn't have cheered for them, that's okay though because adrian was on the slytherin team and you two have always been close since first year. you were decked out in all green, cheering him on and the rest of the team, house spirit and all, scarf and socks matching, watching them play.

on your way back into the castle you see a small commotion and notice the green robes so you went over there to see an argument between some of the two teams. malfoy spewing rubbish like all ways. more and more people were starting to come over and you knew soon one of the professors would get there, you were not going to lose house points today, especially when you've just won the game and gained house points in return. "the only reason you're still on the slytherin team malfoy is because your father's paying flint's parents to keep you on the team." you heard potter say as you walked up towards them.

you reached your hand out to touch malfoy's shoulder pulling him back. "let's go malfoy, it's not worth it, we just won."

you froze as you heard potter talk to you, he'd never even looked at you before, now he's got it in for you. "who are you, anyway? just some other blood-purist? bet you're so proud of your house cheating." if you were more confident in that moment you would of spoken up, would've told him to shut it, that he knows nothing about you. but you realised everyone is looking at you, slytherins, gryffindors even hufflepuffs and ravenclaws and the twins are behind harry and oh god you felt sick. you tried your hardest to not look the twins in the eye or even in their direction at all. you thought that they're probably disgusted that they ever talked to you. you're nothing like what potter thought you were and everyone who knew you knew that but fred and george never did ask you questions about your beliefs, maybe afterwards they had doubts when potter said that.

you kept your head down and walked away, pushing against people, clearly trying not to cry. you just wanted to get out of there. you found out how much you mean to the twins when george see's your figure leaving, going back to the castle. without much thought about the situation he goes to correct harry, because there was no way in merlin he was going to let someone think that about you. fred beat him to it though, "she really is nothing like that harry." george pushes against everyone as he followed you, catching up with you quickly.

"don't worry about it, harry just doesn't know you."

you couldn't help it, it just came. you were overwhelmed with emotions and frustration you stop momentarily, spun to face him and shout, "that's the whole problem. he doesn't know me! leave me alone weasley, i never want to speak to you again." you walked off quickly, deciding you're done. it's over and you just want to sleep for the rest of the day.

george wasn't too fond of this idea and he catches up with you again. honestly he was slightly taken aback by your outburst, one second he saw you desperately try to stop malfoy from saying anything else due to not wanting to get into trouble and the next second harry made you run off while trying not to cry. he wished that you never saw the fight between them all, he hoped you didn't think ill of him. "please don't go, let's just go wait for fred somewhere, he's probably still fighting with malfoy."

"didn't you hear me weasley, i'm done. i'm not going to be your stupid secret. i don't want to be your bloody friend only when it suits you."

george never meant for you to think that you're a secret and he knew fred felt the same. "i'll fix this." you didn't answer but all you could think was 'no, not this time.'

you did however successfully help deescalate the argument. gryffindor's confusement with how the twins stood up for you left malfoy to throw a couple of snide comments without any reply from them, leading enough time for pansy to notice mcgonagall on her way over and warn all her house that they should leave, including a very worked up malfoy.

"what the bloody hell was that all about?" ron questions fred, everyone else turning to face him thinking exactly the same thing.

"well obviously malfoy was being a git like always."

"you know bloody well that's not what i mean."

"is she who you go see when you 'go to the library'?" ginny asks. "i mean seriously, it's not like i believe you both have suddenly started studying multiple times a week."

fred knew ginny's caught him out but he doesn't know what to say. how would they all react to finding out about you and what if you don't even want anyone in slytherin to figure out your friends with two gryffindors.

"we're friends." fred hears as he turns round to see george had come back. he didn't want for you to feel like a secret anymore. he wonders where you are and questions him. "she said she's going... actually i don't know where."

"is she okay?"

george pauses for a second, "we'll figure something out."

ginny was the only one who didn't have something to say about what they'd all just found out. she had a suspicion something was up, she just didn't know what, she really did not think that it would be something to do with a slytherin though. but everyone else definitely was not taking the news too well. not just a slytherin but someone opening being friendly with malfoy, at least in their eyes that's what it looked like.

every time you saw the twins after that you walked away, doing everything in your power to stay away from them. that did not work for long, as two days after the incident you had charms first period with george. mentally preparing yourself to see him and ignore him no matter what he said or how funny he is, you get out of bed, get ready and leave the common room.

as you left you get the fright of your life. "oh merlin, george! what are you doing lurking about?" your heart racing out due to the jump and still trying to be angry and scold him even though you missed him and fred incredibly so. you see him smirk as he tries not to laugh and you want so bad to wipe that smirk of his stupid face.

"i've come to carry your bag, you always complain that you have to carry to many books on tuesday so i've come to save you, i'm your knight in shining armour! we've got charms." before you can even retort and tell him to go away he's taken your bag and is walking off.

"hey give me my bag back!" he doesn't try to keep in his laugh this time as he then assures you that you'll have it in charms. "i need that bag now weasley, if you remember before class there's normally a little thing called breakfast."

"i did actually forget about that. let's go have some breakfast then." he carried on walking and didn't give you your bag back. you're walking in the halls together and you don't know how to react. not only are you angry at him but now you're confused because what the hell does he think he's doing and why did he suddenly care about you enough to be seen with you.

"stop thinking so much. you know me and fred really care about you and we'll make it up to you. we never wanted you to feel the way you have been feeling. godric i'll even drop a bag of dungbombs in mcgonagall's classroom because i know how much you secretly don't like her. even if you pretend you do, i see your face scrunch up in annoyance all the time when she talks."

you unsuccessfully tried to hide your smile, as you mumble about how you want your bag back and how you wasn't even thinking about that. george relaxes more as he see's you smile, there was always that insecurity that you'd never talk to him again after the quidditch match although fred was so sure you would and told him so and he's so fred was right glad.

right now though at this party fred's on his own this time with getting home. you're pretty sure he was talking to seamus finnigan and neville longbottom last time you saw him anyway so it's unlikely you'll see him again tonight if he's with all gryffindor alumni.

you've found it best to stay away from that lot anyway, as you've only properly met the twins family and harry, and you know they're probably very welcoming people now that they know who you are and the twins want you to properly meet them but you had a hard enough time meeting hermione granger for the first time, you don't want the hassle of going through that all again and even after all these years you know that she still doesn't like you, no matter how close you both are to the weasley family. you remember bursting out crying the first time they invited you to spend the holidays with them at the burrow when they found out you'd be staying at hogwarts that year for christmas.

now george has come to find you he hasn't left your side, not even by an inch, so close together you can feel each others body heat, squished on a small sofa together with your thighs touching. he tries to hold out to you and you're unsure about what he wants to do but lean into his touch anyway. "don't get your drink on my dress or i'll kill you weasley."

he grins and pulls you closer, you're now tucked under his chin, being able to feel his heartbeat. you're already hot from the summer heat and the dancing, but you welcome being so close to him, quickly getting used to the position.

'fred's normally the one who's touchier.' you didn't realise you said that out loud until george pulls you tighter to him, humming back to you.

you both sit together for a minute or two, listening to the party-goers and the music in the background. you could sit there all day with george, doing nothing in particular, just being next to him. just like at hogwarts when it was only you and him, fred's off somewhere else and you'd both sit under one of the oak trees in the shade away from everyone else and play with his hair absentmindedly, reading to him as he closes his eyes and listens. but as you go to sip your drink you hear george say, "i don't like how you and fred always touch each other." you stop moving and draw your hand back down without drinking. he really must have no filter when he's had too much to drink.

"what on earth are you talking about george? you make it sound like we're bloody all over each other. you know we don't have any kind of feelings for each other. plus does it really matter to you?"

you look to him and see his eyebrows furrowed and lips in a tight line. "you are all over each other though." he looks you in the eye while whispering. "and pucey, what's his deal, you know he was a shit quidditch player right?"

you get up to leave, george may be pissed drunk but right now he's pissing you off. you decide you'll cool off and come find him later on to take you both home. that is unless you see him making out in the corner with alicia spinnet. last time he got in a mood like this with you it was at a party in your last year at hogwarts. for some reason george just had so much to drink and started questioning why you spent the night dancing with fred and even started talking about how you went to the yule ball with flint. aware that you were both drunk you didn't want to argue you left to find fred. later when you came to find george after missing him and wanting to forget about the outburst, you saw him snogging alicia spinnet, his hands on her waist and her hands in his hair. just seeing it made you feel sick and overcome with feelings you don't want to confront as you left the party without saying bye to anyone, nearly forgetting the password for the common room as you stumble inside, wanting to forget about the entire night.

this won't be like last time though as before you can successfully make your escape george holds onto your wrist and drags you back down onto the sofa, nearly landing on his lap. with his other hand he tilts your head towards him, so you're face to face and eye level. too flustered and surprised, you don't move. you're so close to each other that you can can smell the firewhisky he's been drinking and the sandalwood shampoo he uses and his cinnamon scented body wash and cologne. you're so close you can count his freckles and you're trying desperately not too think about this. george is your best friend, george weasley is not someone who should distract you from your surroundings because all you can focus on is him.

"the only person who you should be all over is me. not pucey, not fred, not that twat flint that took you to the yule ball, not that bloody ravenclaw who kept eyeing you up in our 5th year, it's me, not them." your eyes widen as george talks softly to you. you're gazing into each others eyes and you don't think you've ever seen george look so nervous in his life. you think his eyes are beautiful, you've always thought that. like he told you he thinks yours are tonight, like how he told you how beautiful in general you are tonight. but right now it's different, he's being vulnerable and trusting you by letting you look, by letting you softly study his features in more detail than you've ever been able to in the past, it's an open invitation into his heart and soul, trying to convey to you how much you mean to him. his chocolate brown eyes are glazed over and you're unsure if it's due to him drinking or if it's because he's telling you how he feels and he's getting emotional. you see crinkles under his eyes from his countless hours of laughing and smiling and pulling pranks. how he's slowing blinking as if his eyelids feel heavy. you wonder what he can see in your eyes and during this moment you can't even begin to recall what your own eye colour is. the warmth of his eyes making you forget your own, you believe they're probably glassy due to what george confessed.

you licked your lips, suddenly finding them incredibly dry, "why?"

george slightly moves his head back further away from you, "why, what?" george didn't know what you would say but he didn't expect it to be a one word question that he's too drunk to wrap his head around to understand. he genuinely did not know where this night was going to go at the beginning but one thing lead to another and in george's eyes you started getting to touchy with someone and then all these words kept tumbling out that he thought he'd never say out loud.

"why you?" you turn your head away slightly, twidling with your fingers.

"thought it was pretty obvious after all i said love." your stomach flips at the name, "i'm mad about you." he looks at you with bated breath, waiting for your response.

"tell me you mean it." george hears your voice shake and as he leans closer to you to try and get you to look at him again he see's tears running down your face, uncontrollably. he's taken aback by seeing you cry and hates that he's the one who caused it, he's unsure of what he should do after but right now he can't help but to draw you into his arms, holding you against his side, placing a kiss on your head and stroking your back. he hears you sniffle and strokes your cheek, wiping away all the tears. "please.. please georgie. tell me you mean it."

"i-i mean it. i've never meant anything more in my life-," george starts to say but you cut him off.

"are you sure? your friends don't like me and what if alicia spinnet comes up to you and kisses you again or asks you out on a date." you whisper, still holding on tight to him. you're insecurities flowing through you.

"well firstly, i have no idea what my mates have to do with how i feel about or why it matters. and secondly..." he trails off as he then realises exactly what you said. george lifts a hand to your face and gently places under your chin tenderly, lifting your face up and facing him. "wait, are you jealous of alicia spinnet?" he studies your face, red eyes still watery and seeing you heat up and pout. he knew he got his answer and became more confident and self-assured. grinning from ear to ear, he says, "i didn't even know you saw that love. we only kissed once." you furrow your eyebrow causing george to chuckle and gently smooth out the wrinkles with his fingertips before kissing your forehead. "you seem bitter, love?" he teases.

you knows he's riling you up for a reaction but that doesn't stop the reaction. now he knows you might share feelings for him nothing will stop him from pressing your buttons in hopes that you'll get fired up and shout at him because he finds that you're so cute whenever that happens and you might even shout out your feelings and tell him how you feel. he might be able to get you to tell him how you feel about him or if it's only you being possessive of your friend after you've had a few drinks but he really hopes that isn't the case.

"weasley if you keep teasing i'm going to be mad at you," you huff. george hasn't stopped grinning though and you want so desperately to wipe that grin off his face, to have the upperhand but you've lost all capability of telling him you feel the same, you have since your fourth year and even now you worry that you aren't good enough, but you remember to before how he was looking at you and what he said about you and how pleased he looks right now and all of that worry goes away for awhile.

you lunge closer to him and close the already small gap between you two and kiss him, momentarily stunning george by your bold attention before he's smirking and kisses you harder, moving his hands so one is tracing patterns on your waist and the other delicately holding your jaw and cheek.

after kissing for so long it feels like your lips might just fall off, you reluctantly break apart, not realises how much you currently needed air until you could get some. "so you like me too, ay?"

you refuse to answer out of being shy and kiss him again, mainly to get him to stop speaking but there is one thing about george and that's after all these years he knows you like the back of his hand, so he doesn't kiss you back to watch you get frustrated, and boy did it frustrate you. you scowl as you look at him, "why'd you do that?"

george tucks some of your hair behind your ear, causing you to shiver at the action and george to smirk at your reaction. he whispers in your ear, "tell me you like me too, love." you want so desperately to hold onto him but he's moving away from you before you even get the chance to. he's looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to crack.

you soon crack, just as george knew you would. "bloody hell, george i am in love with you, alright! so kiss me now!"

"you..you what?" if you were more sober you would have instantly regretted saying that, however as soon as the words came out of your mouth you forgot what you confessed to entirely.

you grab hold of his shirt and pull him closer towards you again. "please, georgie, 'need you." that snaps him out of his thinking as he starts kissing you again, this time less soft as before. he's almost hungry now as he's holding onto you tight, and has started moving down your neck, placing kisses in his wake. you softly moan at the sensation before you're rudely interrupted by whistling.

"oi, get a room you two. it's bad enough to have seen you make heart eyes at each other for the last six years." you've never wanted a strangle fred more and it looks like george is sharing a similar sentiment, as he glares at him across the room.

"lets get out of here sweetheart before i punch him in the face." you giggle and stand up.

"that's awfully violent of you george, i'm meant to be the one that gives threats." you've started to sober up a bit now but lean against him anyway, wanting an excuse to be close.

" 'fraid i've always seen through that. you're not very scary love, i mean you scream every time you see a spider. if i trapped you and dear little ronnikins in a room with a spider, just imagine the chaos." he chuckles as he looks at you fondly and holds your hand while pulling you tighter to him, he sees through your guise of needing help to stand and keep steady but that doesn't stop him from holding on to you, any reason or excuse to hold you and touch you he's going to take it, especially now you're both sobering up.

george steers you through all of the people as you're making your way to the door. "wait georgie, do you need to say bye to everyone?" you stop in your tracks and pull in your hand back a bit.

"nah, doesn't matter." you softly smile and hold tighter onto his hand. you hum and follow him out the door.

as soon as you're out the door you're hit with the winter cold. " 'm cold," you grumbled as george was already taking his jacket off.

"here, love," he replied as he drapes his jacket over your shoulders, giving you extra warmth. "if i knew it was going to be this cold i'd have brought a scarf." he wraps you up in his arms, slinging his arm around you and sharing body heat, making in difficult to move quickly but appreciating the warmth.

"don't know why we couldn't apparate out of there, bloody annoying if you ask me." you complain.

he laughs as you make a fuss. "there were muggles there."

"what the bloody hell were muggles doing there?"

"careful, love, you're starting to sound like malfoy," he responds playfully, causing you to lightly hit his shoulder and pout.

"you know what i mean. how does he know muggles?"

"dunno honestly, but on the brightside i get to walk home with a pretty girl." you pinch his arm softly to silently tell him to quit it, getting a laugh out of him.

"there's no 'brightside', it's night. plus i'm just pretty?" you feel the need to tease him like he's been teasing you as george always wins in this kind of thing, never failing to make you shy and flustered.

"oh no, not just pretty. the most beautiful person in the world." he tells you without missing a beat. in response you kiss george's cheek, pleased and feeling fuzzy at what he said and you both walk together in comfortable silence.

"so you're in love with me," he remarked. you can hear his grin. the cogs turn in your brain as you remember what you told him.

you keep your head forward even though you want to turn away, and silently thank how you're still slightly tipsy, giving you the courage you need to not deny your deeper feelings. "shut up weasley."

george spins you to face him, your skirt flowing with the movement, the skirt that you definitely should not have worn tonight no matter how long it is. pressing your foreheads together he whispers, "i love you too. now lets get home before i freeze my bloody bullocks off."

you burst out laugh and bury your face in his neck, this time making him shiver at the touching contact. you don't think you've ever felt happier than right now, as the man you love loves you too.

you carry on your walk and swing your hands intertwined with his. "does that make me your girlfriend georgie?"

"merlin! it better be, six years is a long enough wait."

[starberry-cupcake]

I didn't even give you time to rest and we're back for another round of this. Let's give it up for our sponsor @lady-harrowhark who has helped me get here ♥

previously, on the 1st entry of tlt, aka gideon the ninth:

this happened

also, I was made aware of the fact that there's a 4th book happening?????

??????

I thought they were three, I thought I was coming into this with all the answers out and available

emily has already explained to me the situation and I am taking it very well

I'm very at peace with the fact that I'm gonna have to wait

:)

this is how you all feel, huh?

now, get ready for harrowbean the ninth:

we start out strong with 25 new names

we got a list of lyctors and slurped cavaliers

I'm assuming the crossed out people means dead or slurped

we got another ortus, good for him, I'm gonna remember him

we got another two living new ones, it's likely I will remember an augustine, not likely I'll remember the other one

absolutely no way in hell I'm remembering their cavaliers

absolutely no way in hell I'm remembering the dead

I'm gonna have to think of new nicknames

not!dulcinea is listed and crossed out, as she should be

(the emperor's new groove, indeed)

we've got yandere simulator twin w/inner chad

BUT we'll talk about that in a sec

and then there's harrow

and where gideon should be we got g̵̙͉͚̼̾̽̓̏̾̒̒̂̎͆̕͝ͅi̸̱͍͕̎̆̾̐̇̍̀̎d̷̨̪̙̭̮̜̼͆͆e̴̡̻̰̞̓̈́̋͂̇̐̇̀̓̈́̿̅̚ǫ̷͇̟̳̯͇̤̪̻̩̤̒̅͐͛̒̃͑̂͌́͝ͅn̵̢̙͔̩̗͇͎̻͕̲̮͙̞̓͆̋̈́̿͑͋̈̒͌̀͐̕̚͜͜ ̷͍̫̝̖̮̺̩͖͕̞̾̀͂s̶̖͓̗̩̹̹̥͉̘̄͑͒̾̔͋̑͝h̷̯̲̞͗ơ̵̢͕͙̤̳͎̟̳̖͕͓͋̃̀̉̔̎̈́͆̏̄ͅṷ̴̧̨̢̦̭͈̰͓̪̱̠͓̈̿͆̇̀͑͜ľ̴̨͍͖̘̠̖͎̤̮̱̻͚̑̄͑d̸̢̛̛̻̙̪͙̖̋̃̄͛̅̀̃̐̈̿̏̏͘ ̷̢͚̦̱̩̬̟̺̀̄̈́͂͋̂̄̊̾́́̾̆̄b̷̡͕̲̗͇̠̗͓̈́̍̽͊̇͜ę̴̢̡̱͓̱͉̩̖͇̠͇͎̪̟͗ ̵̪̭͔̊̿͜h̸̢̛̙͍͎͖̻̟̗̫̄̐̀̄̃̽͑̚̕͠ͅe̵̘̳͆̉̿̔͘͘r̸̦̰͌̒̐̓̽́̾͋̏͝ȩ̶̢̖̩͙̗͚̲̈́͠ͅ ̶̡͌̃̏̐̑̀̄̉̀̈́͐̀͊̀͠

👀

I don't know

I think maybe la gideon del 9 isn't totally gone

maybe it's true, maybe it's wishful thinking

maybe her soul got back into her body like when you dream you're falling

her body slurped it back like a noodle

and her demigod powers regenerated her like wolverine

and camilla removed her from the location

and they're both alive and well

don't correct me, let me have this

me, waiting for camilla to come back

after all of this info and the poem/hymn/whatnot we got a prologue which starts with "the night before the emperor's murder"

WELL

OK THEN

WHAT HAPPENED WITH BEING GOD????

the emperor's new clothes and all, he was naked all along

this man is a joke, this man is the wizard of oz, what's going on here

anyway

the prologue is in second person with harrow's pv

I think I have experienced harrow's pv before while reading gideon

hoping for her to focus on one important issue and getting frustrated was very much harrow's pv

harrow is in some sort of battle situation getting directed by the emperor and, as I understand, acting in coordination with the other living lyctors

but also harrow is doing something she shouldn't be doing and they're telling her not to do it

which is like, the harrowest thing to do

so yandere twin comes in to talk to her into moving because she'll be targeted if she stays

and there's a moment when I was like...wait a sec

they say she has blue eyes with specks of brown

didn't she have lavender eyes?????

then harrow says "you should have killed your sister, your eyes don't match your face"

?????????????

yandere twin is very insistent on the helping but also cryptic

I am starting to stan her less

she's starting to get on my nerves and it's the prologue

she also says "choke me, daddy" which

THIS IS NOT THE TIME

gideon gets to do those jokes at terrible times, not you

gideon is allowed

so harrow gets in the fight soul-first and is spitted out of the fight and has a sword through her body

we're doing great over here guys

we're just— this is fine

we're fine

it's f i n e

IT'S FINE

I'm gonna leave the next bit for the next one because this is long enough with the reaction images that I think are crucial to understanding the feelings I'm trying to convey. I'm gonna go to sleep and possibly dream of these characters again. I'll try less pictures and more stuff in the next entry. Hopefully. And maybe read the short story that comes before book 1 because Camilla is in it.

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐨 - 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐝

pairing: pre outbreak!joel miller x f!reader, one sided tommy miller x f!reader

series summary: After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

word count: 2k

chapter summary: if you were wondering how Joel took his spicy picture for Asha, this is how.

warnings: male masturbation, use of a mirror, nipple play, spitting, very explicit, a tad bit of joel putting himself down, you're not there physically but you're definitely there in spirit, brief thoughts of rimming, lil bit of self ass play

a/n: this is a little gift for all of you guys who love SIB, and it's also an apology because it looks like I won't be able to get the new chapter out this week but believe me, I'm working on it 🧡 This takes place between chapters four and five, if you don't mind getting spoiled feel free to read. and yes those are pedro's hands in the moodboard jfc look at those veins

“Do you like it?” 

Joel looks down, a bit shocked, but not unpleasantly. Between his fingers, he holds a photo of Asha, naked as the day she was born. Her lean hand covers her sex, leaving it to his imagination and her breasts were glistening—he presumes she used an ointment of some kind— and her nipples were hard, indicating that she played with herself before taking the picture. 

His cock twitches and he swallows thickly around the knot forming in his throat. 

“ ‘Course I do,” he groans, shifting on the bed. “And you want me to take one too?” 

“If you don’t mind.” 

“I don’t but I ain’t as pretty as you are.” 

With a grin, Asha traces a hand above the expense of his bare chest, the tips of her fingers dipping over his sternum. 

“You’re prettier than you think.” 

Joel stares at the window, his jaw tight and fingers tense around the small shot glass that he holds. A breeze comes through the window and rustles the curtains. He can hear crickets. With a deep sigh, he throws back his head and swallows the amber fluid. It burns as it goes down. 

He closes the windows, then the curtains. He’s hoping the liquid courage would take its effect soon. The bottom of the glass hits the bedside table and he falls to the bed, staring begrudgingly at the camera. He decided to place the tripod right in front of the mirror, which now he realizes wasn’t a good idea. He’s not that thrilled in seeing himself being so unsure. He drags his palm down his face, eyes falling to the drawer where Asha’s picture lays. He’s still not sure why she asked for it—well, he knows why, he just doesn’t understand why him. 

Joel’s aware he’s not the worst looking out here, he’s definitely caught your gaze once or twice lingering on him whenever he’s out fixing the truck. And Asha surely seems to be infatuated with him. But that had only happened now. Not when he was young. Not when he was attending high school and working full shifts to take care of Tommy. And when people did approach him, it was mostly to get closer to The Tommy Miller—his younger brother was always the one with the charm and charisma. 

Suddenly Joel’s heart feels lighter, hints of joy warming his chest. Asha wants that picture. She wants to see him, wants to keep him close.

Licking his lips, he walks up to the camera and adjusts the timer. His mind wanders to the moment he shared with you at the bar. He’d acted impulsively, kissing your cheek like that. The only thing granting him relief was the fact that it seemed nothing more but a friendly gesture from the outside. 

It sure as hell hadn’t felt friendly from the inside. It felt more than that. 

Before pressing the shutter, he sits back down on the bed. The old furniture creaking with protest. He peels off his shirt, throws it to the floor. He thinks about what kind of pose to do, and about how naked he should be. He’s not that comfortable showing his dick. He’s not that comfortable showing his face either—so what the hell is he supposed to do? 

He cups his cock and rubs his palm through the denim. An immediate burst of heat rolls up his spine, his dick twitching with need. He breathes out a soft exhale and repeats the movement. Grinding his palm against his growing erection. 

Oh, that definitely feels nice. 

A smile tugs at his lips and his pulse quickens. Without much thought, he swipes his thumb over a nipple. A hiss elevates from the back of his throat, his hips stuttering into the air. With a sudden desperation, he unbuckles his belt and cheats his hand down his jeans. He’s rough with himself. Grabbing his cock and tugging at the head until he’s hard and dripping. Joel sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, the pain also adding to the heat growing between his legs. 

“This should be good,” he murmurs, walking back up to the camera. He clicks the shuffle and stumbles back, he tries to strike something similar to a pose. He stretches a bit, sucks in his stomach, and decides to leave his hand lingering down his pants. 

His chest heaves, but he’s excited when he hears the click. He’s genuinely surprised at how aroused he is, thick drops of precum heavy over his knuckles. 

Joel had never considered himself to be a kinky person. As far as he knew, he was into the same things as most guys his age. But maybe he had more going on in this thick noggin of his than he thought. 

Joel definitely doesn’t mind the camera now. 

The picture pops out and he yanks it away from the device. He wags it in the air a bit, a form of a body slowly appearing on glossy paper. He takes a good look at himself. Half of his face is out of frame, which pleases him. There’s a slight blur to the background that he kinda likes. Thanks to the way his hand is hidden underneath the front of his jeans, his forearm looks quite nice and strong. 

With a pleased smile, he places it between the pages of a magazine. Then he allows himself to fall back to the bed, his legs hanging off the side. Joel grunts as he kicks off his jeans, not wanting to feel restricted anymore. It’s not often he’s alone in the house. He plans on taking advantage of it. 

He pulls a pillow down to where his head is, getting comfortable, he glances at himself through the mirror. A flush darkens his cheeks. He never watched himself before. Never saw the faces he makes. Some part of him wants to ignore the sudden interest and just take care of his…situation, but the other part of him wants to experiment. It almost feels like someone is watching him. 

He remembers seeing a mirror in your house. Have you ever indulged in this way? Get naked in front of the mirror and fuck yourself with a toy that wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying as his cock could be? 

I’m fucking losing it, he thinks. But he can’t stop thinking about it now. 

Joel's hand moves down to his cock, his fingertips brushing over the sensitive head. His breathing becomes shallow as he starts to stroke himself, the soft moans escaping his lips filling the quiet room. He closes his eyes and imagines you there with him, your fingers tracing along his body, your lips pressing against his skin. 

His fingers trail down his chest, gliding over the curves of his nipples, each touch sends a shiver, his tighs going taut and stiff. His eyes flicker to the mirror, he catches a glimpse of himself - naked, a flush of pink creeping up from his chest to his neck.

He hesitates, wondering what he's doing, and why he's doing it. But then he remembers you, the way you looked at him at the bar, the feeling of your skin under his fingertips, the way you leaned in close when you spoke. Your scent; a sharp inhale of blooming flowers mixed with the suffocating scent of the paint that you use. You’re a ghostly presence, something that’s always with him, but not in the way that he wants. 

Joel squeezes his cock and moves up his hand, swiping the head with the flat of his palm. He wants everything to be wet, messy, and tight. With a sudden impulse, he pushes his upper body off the bed and goes to spit on his cock. A soft tremor burrows in his stomach. A rather indulgent moan coming alive in the back of his throat. 

Pursing his lips, he spits again, the wetness instantly being spread out with his hand. He watches the way his cock glistens through the mirror. Joel wants to believe it’s your slick instead, making him warm and wet. You’d be so eager to take him, so needy for him to fuck you. His teeth sink into the inside of his cheek. He’d make you beg a bit for it first. Joel would want to hear your voice getting high and squeaky, but he wouldn’t let the game go on for too long. He doesn’t want you to think that he’s not appreciative of you and your perfect pussy. 

His strokes speed up, wet sounds getting louder. Joel allows his imagination to run wild. A string of sultry images flashes in his mind. 

You, on your knees, struggling to take his cock down your throat. 

You, bent over, asscheeks spread, begging him to fill you up. 

You, asking for him to fuck you harder, faster. 

And him, eager to follow every command. 

Fuck, and you’d look so good too. Moaning his name, soaking his cock and fingers. He licks his lips, imagining how you would taste like. Something sweet, he bets, sweet and maybe a bit bitter. Just like you. 

Jerking himself, a visceral whine crawls out of his throat. His eyes flutter shut for a brief moment and he swears he can feel you. Your weight, your heat—all of it crashing down on him and bringing him near the peak. He loosens his grip, traces the throbbing vein that curls around his cock with the blunt of his nail. With a shallow breath, he slips his fingers lower.

Joel’s mouth floods when he cups his balls, rolling them in his palm, he gives them a gentle tug. The coil in his stomach tightens, a tremble overwhelming him. With his tongue between his lips, his fingers brush the skin right underneath. His eyes snap wide open, liquid, molten, lava-like pleasure boils his veins—he gasps and his hips stutter into the air, his dick painfully hard, drips over his stomach. 

His hand dips further down his legs. Very gently, Joel circles the puckered hole with the pad of his middle finger but doesn’t dare to go further. He never has. This is as far as he’s gone, discovering that the little tease was enough to get him riled up at a young age. He imagines your tongue teasing over the hole instead of his finger. 

“Fuck.” 

His own voice sounds estranged to him. It sounds so deep, and raspy. Like he’s been sick for days. A shudder overwhelms him when he wraps his calloused fingers around his cock once more. He’s so fucking close. His breathing comes in short, shallow pants, the head of his cock a dark red. He fuck himself into his fist harder, faster, tightens the gap, thinking that it’s you. 

His eyes move back to the mirror, his other hand teasing at his nipples, pulling and twisting them until he moans out loud. The sight of himself, of his own arousal, is a heady aphrodisiac. He’s wrecked. It never felt this good before. There’s a buzz in his veins, an itch that can’t be scratched. His cock is drooling all over himself. His breath catches in his throat—He’s about to—shitshitshit—

Joel fixes his gaze on his reflection; he looks so out of it, lips swollen and parted, hair a mess and eyes glazed over. Fuck, he’s starting to understand now what Asha meant by calling him pretty. 

A long whine leaves his lips as the first string of pearly white cum splashes over his stomach. It’s followed by another one, and then another. His eyes roll back into his skull. He feels it on his chest, stomach, knuckles….a growl rattles in his chest. Pleasure rakes his body from his toes to his head. He strokes himself harder, loosening and tightening his grip around his cock to mimic the feel of your fluttering cunt might be. Joel’s eyes flutter closed, heavy pants leaving his lips. He feels dizzy, disoriented. 

When he opens his eyes again, he smooths his hand over his stomach, spreading the stickiness all over his sweaty skin. He cheats another glance at the mirror. 

God, he wishes you were here to clean him up.

I hope you guys enjoyed this little interlude ♡ I do realize that some parts of this might be a bit out of character for Joel but I just love thinking of him as someone who always wanted to experiment more but just never had a chance to do so, a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. He's just looking for that person he can trust to have some fun with 🤭 I also think of him being a bit self coincidence which we will be seeing more of in the future.

Wishing everyone an amazing weekend, new chapter will be coming soon!

[luaspersona]

All Night│knj (m)

pairing ↠ namjoon x reader (f. reader) genre ↠ college!au; brother’s best friend!au; strangers to lovers; smut; one-shot summary ↠ when your brother bails on you, you have to find another way to entertain yourself for the night and Kim Namjoon just so happens to be a great company. rating ↠ +18 warnings ↠ alcohol consumption; flirting; sexual tension; the reader and Namjoon are shameless; explicit smut: consent king!Namjoon, a bit of thigh riding, nipple play, fingering, oral (f. and brief m. receiving), spit kink, dirty talk, pet names, praise kink, marking, light choking, begging, protected sex, multiple orgasms, cumshot, cum eating word count ↠ 12k (yeah, well. what can i say 💀) estimated reading time ↠ 30 minutes notes ↠ ok, so. i know i said i would upload this yesterday, but i got caught up with work and wasn't able to edit it one last time like i intended, and i hope it's ok that i'm dropping it now instead 🥺 note² ↠ also, this took so much longer than it should have, and it’s huge 😭 i’m so sorry y’all, but i swear it’s pure filth, the smut is just ridiculously long bc i don’t have any ounce of self control lmao 🫣 note³ ↠ ok, i'll let you get to it, now 🥰 crossposted ↠ read on ao3

navigation | masterlist | permanent taglist | tell me your thoughts ♡

As the good sister you are, you hate Jimin most of the time.

The sparse moments in which you feel love for your brother are the only downside of going long enough without seeing him, because you start to forget why Jimin studying on the other side of the country is actually crucial for your relationship. Recently, for example, you've been missing him, and that's not something you can just let happen.

So, when your boss sent you to Seoul to attend a handful of meetings during the week, you took the opportunity to meet up with your brother for the first time since he got into college and make new oh-so-sweet memories with Jimin so you can go on with not missing him for another semester or so.

The club he chose is far from the hotel your company paid for, but it's been a minute since you last toured Seoul's alluring night, so you decide to walk. You spot the large mono. neon sign Jimin described around thirty minutes later, and you quickly step out of the chilly night into the club's cozy interior.

You fish for your phone inside your purse, messaging a simple im here to your brother before finding your way to the bar. You hop onto one of the empty stools, smoothing the fabric of your pants and adjusting your cute top that is slightly hiked up from your walking.

You order a beer to start the night, and with its bitterness coating your tongue, you turn around to take in the environment. You have to admit Jimin was right about this place. Although really crowded, it feels comfortable; the dim lightning casting a cozy veil over the bodies pressed together on the dance floor, the playlist good and loud enough to soothe any thoughts that might threaten a good night out.

[10:31] baby j 😗: on my way

Upon reading his response, you can't contain the large smile that betrays your anxiety. It finally hits you how long it has been since you last saw your brother. You don't even know what color his hair is now, how he's enjoying his first semester, if he found another apartment, if he got that job he told you about last month.

Aren't you supposed to know these things? God, you're a terrible older sister.

“Hey! What's up, noona?” A deep voice calls beside you, startling you a bit.

You turn, catching sight of a tall man greeting the bartender before he slides onto the stool next to yours.

After you take a quick look at him, you find yourself blinking back a couple times, simply unable to divert your attention: you've never seen such a fine man in your life.

As he leans over the counter, his broad torso is evident even through his shirt, large shoulders making him seem way too big for that stool. And his thighs?! Those thick — thick — thighs. You could die a happy woman between them, almost drooling when he spreads his legs to make himself comfortable.

“I'll just have the usual!” He orders, prompting a nod in response.

You know you're ogling, but fuck if this man isn't just perfect.

He pushes his hair back, long fingers tangling in his black locks in an failed attempt to clear the strands off his eyes, but in a successful endeavor to make you suck in a breath. Your attention falls to his lips — plump rosy lips that shine once he wets them with the tip of his tongue.

You tilt up, finding his dark almond-shaped eyes — piercing back directly at you.

You tense a little under his scrutiny, but you don't turn away, holding his gaze as you sip your beer.

“You know it's rude to stare, right?” He teases, making you smile immediately. 

Thing is: you are a Park, so flirting was like second nature to you. There's no scenario in which you dismiss this perfect lead he just gave you.

Besides, Jimin tends to be late, right? Yeah, he said he was on his way, sure, but who knows if he won't go to his place to freshen up before coming to meet you or something — what could be so bad about entertaining this beautiful man by your side?

“Oh, I'm sorry. You’re gorgeous, so it’s easy to get distracted.” He snickers, not expecting your response but definitely enjoying it. “But it's ok, I’ll let you stare back so we're even. Here, let me make it easier for you.”

You wiggle your body so you're facing him, closing your eyes playfully.

But he keeps his eyes locked in your face, as he's already regarded you before making his way to the bar. He noticed you when you approached the stool. He noticed the way your pants hug your legs just well enough for him to be able to delineate your figure. He noticed how really fucking cute your top is, loving how it bares the skin of your neck for him to picture how nice it would be to taint the soft flesh. 

You are hot, and Namjoon is a practical man, so he was already trying to read you, maybe wait a bit to see if you came with someone, if your body language was inviting or reclusive.

What eventually pushed him to come over was the way your face lit up when you smiled at your phone and he found himself grinning in response.

So now, even with your eyes shut, and your body closer for him to shamelessly gawk at, it's your smile that he's focused on.

“So?” You open your eyes again.

He cocks his head, regarding you.

“I like your earrings.” He taunts, and you scoff in feigned offense.

“That's your review?”

The bartender shows up again, placing a bottle of soju and a single glass in front of the man, who pours a dose for himself before drinking it.

He looks at you, all pretty and pouty, and grins before he's leaning in.

“I think I’d like to paint you, princess.” When did his voice become so husky? “Is that something you'd be interested in?”

This close, he catches the goosebumps that crawl up your arms, but your reply is unaffected.

“Well, how good of a painter are you, baby?” 

You can feel his hot breath fanning your jaw.

“I'd say I'm really good, but it really depends on you.”

“What about me.”

He shifts back to his prior position, a smirk on his face.

“If you behave.”

“And if I don't?” He drags his tongue over his lip.

“Then that’s even better.”

“Then I'm definitely interested, baby.”

He shoots you a shit-eating grin. God, are those fucking dimples?

“Well, what is your review?”

“Uhm, I like your lips. Almost want to know what they taste like.”

“Almost?”

“Of course! Need to know if you're a good boy first.” You say, matter-of-factly, tilting your head to finish your beer.

His eyes follow your body when you reach for another glass over the counter. “I also think a bottle of soju seems like a lot for one person.”

Damn, you are hot.

“Well, I'm a big guy.” He says, but pours it in your cup nonetheless.

“I can surely see that.” You huff, making him laugh.

“I'm Namjoon, by the way.”

You introduce yourself, taking the hand he extends to you.

The feeling of his large palm enveloping yours take your mind to other places. Places where that same hand is running up your legs, reaching for your zipper and slipping inside your—

“You're here alone?”

Before you can respond, your phone vibrates over at the counter, and you reach for it, checking a new message in your brother's chat.

“Gimme a sec.”

[10:47] baby j 😗: im rly rly sorry, sth came up, wont be able to make it tn

[10:47] you: You alright?

[10:48] baby j 😗: yeah

[10:48] you: Then why cant you come?

[10:49] baby j 😗: …

[10:49] baby j 😗: i met up w this really cute guy from my class and i wanna fuck him

[10:50] you: You bailing on me to fuck???

[10:51] baby j 😗: im so so sorry 🥺

[10:51] you: No you aint 😡

[10:52] baby j 😗: my bad lol

[10:53] baby j 😗: gtg tho, see u tmrw

“You ok?” Namjoon asks, as soon as you finish your glass of soju after sending Jimin a bunch of angry face emojis.

You realize you're frowning, and immediately ease the scowl on your face.

“Yeah. My brother just stood me up.”

“Shit. I'm sorry.”

“It's ok.”

Namjoon is quiet for a second.

“So you're leaving?”

You honestly thought Jimin would take longer to piss you off this time, but when you meet Namjoon's uncertain eyes, you can't really feel too bad about yourself right now. You smile mischievously. 

“Giving up already? Oh baby, I thought you could hold up.” You pout.

“I would never even think of leaving you unsatisfied.” The grin returns to his face, where it belongs. “Besides, who would I share my soju with?”

You pretend to search around the club.

“There are plenty of people here.”

“I'm sure of it, but there’s this beautiful girl who’s talking big to me and looks awfully uncomfortable in her clothes and I happen to be a very good boy who just wants to help her out of them.”

“Didn’t think of you as the romantic type.”

“What can I say, I’m as sweet as they come.”

“Then what do you say I help you finish this bottle before you give me a hand, sweet boy?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Just one thing, though.” He turns to you, attentive. “Sweet isn’t really my thing. I like it rough.” You wink.

“Damn, princess.” He chuckles. “I like you.”

Namjoon prided himself on being a good flirt. He liked to take his sweet time with his partners, teasing and instigating in such a way that any fleeting touch would ignite the skin.

But you? You were humbling him.

Barely two cups into the bottle, he decided to take you to dance. He assumed that having his hands on your thighs, gripping your hips, and his lips brushing gently over your neck would help to shut that witty mouth of yours, but as you keep grinding your ass on his cock he finds himself guiding you closer, spellbound by the way your body frames his.

Namjoon's thoughts are clouded by your hips, the feeling of your skin beneath his fingertips turning him the fuck on, making him feel like a horny teenager.

A thin layer of sweat covers your bodies, the loud music a mere excuse for you two to keep pressing into each other.

Namjoon can hear your shaky breaths as you turn a bit on his hold, lips nearing his ear as you nib lightly at the flesh — which, paired with the way your fingers grab his hair, is enough to prompt a quiet moan out of his plumpy lips, one that you wouldn’t have listen weren’t you so close to him.

He should be ashamed of how fast he’s giving in, but he honestly doesn’t give a fuck. He just wants more. So he lets you do as you please — even if just for now.

Namjoon leisurely rolls his pelvis on your ass, large palms coming up to circle your waist and it’s his turn to listen to the pretty whine you give him. Namjoon closes his eyes, trying to focus.

“Wanna kiss you so bad, babe. Can I kiss you?”

You nod immediately and Namjoon wastes no time in grabbing your hand in his and quickly guiding you out of the dance floor, cutting through the sea of bodies with clear purpose.

You two make your way to a hall near what you assume is the backdoor of the club, poorly illuminated but also a bit more quiet.

Namjoon gently pushes you towards the wall, your back meeting its cold surface. The way he stares at you resembles nothing the sweet eyes you met at the bar — now dark with lust, nothing short of intimidating.

And you would be lying if you said that didn’t spur a heat below your belly.

“Are we allowed to be back here?” A coy smile crosses Namjoon’s face.

“That’s what you're thinking right now?”

“What should I be thinking, sweet boy?”

A huffed laugh passes his lips, and Namjoon steps closer. One of his arms comes to rest near your face.

“In a good ass excuse for the show you pulled back there.” His low register sends a shiver down your spine.

On second thought? Maybe you shouldn’t have teased him that much, but— ah, who are you kidding?

“Thing is, babe, I’m not sorry.”

Namjoon shakes his head, taking a step closer.

With his body so near, you’re suddenly hyper aware of everything. You close your eyes when his breathing ghosts over your skin, feeling goosebumps trail over your arms.

You wait for his next action. You wait for a touch or a reprimand, but it never comes.

Wait.

He didn’t… leave you, did he?

You’re mortified for a second, but as if sensing your distress Namjoon brings his fingertips to graze over your sides. The sudden touch startles you a bit.

When his hands reach your upper arm, you hear him let out a sharp, frustrated breath, prompting you to open your eyes.

“You are fucking beautiful.”

You want to reciprocate his praise, but the words seem lost in your throat. This close you feel drunk on his beauty, dazed by his full, sinful lips and intoxicated by his heat as your bodies orbit each other.

Are you imagining him?

Namjoon’s hand continues to travel up your body, stopping at your jaw.

The pad of his thumb traces your chin, reaching your bottom lip and slowly pulling it off of your anxious bite, soothing the flesh in a tender movement.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks again, tone serious.

You smile.

“At this point, you better.”

And so he does, plumpy lips touching yours with surprising tenderness while his hands rest on your neck. You are taken aback by his softness, not reacting for a second before pulling him closer to bathe in his warmth.

The kiss unwinds all the tension off of you, replacing it with lust. The docility of his actions makes them hypnotic, your mind disoriented with his skin grazing yours — but you’ve never been a patient woman.

You slide your hands through his chest, trailing his defined torso before grabbing his shirt in your fists. You break the kiss and he lifts an eyebrow in question.

“Thought I told you sweet isn’t really my thing, big boy.”

Namjoon chuckles. “So impatient.”

This time Namjoon smashes your lips together, kissing you with hunger.

He presses you further against the wall and you stumble with his eagerness, a satisfied hum leaving your throat.

His hands explore your body, going through your neck, your shoulders, your hips and then your ass, grabbing a handful and giving it a hard squeeze.

He opens your mouth with his, and you tilt your head to deepen the kiss. His breath is ragged when he slips his tongue inside, and you two take barely a second to match each other's rhythm.

You suck the soju's sweetness off his tongue, and he drinks the bitter memory of your beer. Forget the alcohol — he's the one inebriating your thoughts.

You feel every inch of his body, pressed flush against his broad torso as his waist smoothly drags over yours, making it almost impossible for you to keep your whiny sounds down your throat.

You make no effort, on the other hand, to resist the urge to bite his pillowy flesh, nibbing with maybe more force than you should, but grinning in satisfaction when you earn a sweet groan in response.

You entangle your arms around his neck, pulling your bodies closer in a desperate attempt to get more of him, and he seems just as insatiable, slithering his arms behind your back to press your fronts.

Namjoon breaks the kiss, but he gives you no time to complain before you feel his mouth on your neck, sucking and biting between licks over the sweaty skin.

Your hands find purchase on his hair, grabbing his locks with force as arousal gushes out of you.

Namjoon's determined to mark all over your neck. After he sucks a hickey on the spot between your ear and your jaw, you just fucking know he's sporting the smuggest smile at the way his actions shove the prettiest of yelps out of you.

He levels his face with yours, but avoids your lips when you try to resume the kiss. 

“You’re awfully quiet, baby girl” he points out when you frown “have nothing smart to say?”

“How about fuck you?”

“I plan on it, don’t worry.” A cocky grin takes his lips. “And although you look gorgeous trying to be in control, I wanna hear you. I wanna hear how good I’m making you feel, baby.”

He doesn’t really give you an option when he slots his leg between yours, large thigh pressing up your core and pushing an audible whimper out of you. The sound makes Namjoon grab a handful of your ass and use it to grind you along his thigh — his fucking thigh.

You grab the back of his head, pulling him to you as you smother his lips with yours, but this time Namjoon eats all your moans, feasting on the sounds you so obediently grant him.

You’re bathing in each other’s heat and with a particularly delicious roll of your hips, your core brushes on his growing bulge. You suck in a breath, parting with the kiss to learn how to breathe again.

“Look at you” his tone is laced with lust “riding my thigh like a good girl.”

Fuck, you're so damn horny, and you've barely done anything. The fuck is up with you? It scares you how you know you'd promptly fold if Namjoon asked you too, just to have that cock drilling inside you.

So you just hum weakly, apparently forgetting how to fucking speak.

“What was it again? That you called me before?” he asks, returning to slide your clothed core over his strong legs again, loving the way you look getting off on his thigh “Oh, right. What happened with all the filth you were saying before, sweet girl?”

You swallow. This man is fucking challenging you. You have to get your shit together.

“Namjoon—” you moan his name out “I’m… I’m so fucking wet right now.”

“Yeah?” His Adam's apple bobs in his throat.

“Yeah, Namjoon, my panties are fucking soaked.”

“Shit. That’s it, wanna hear you losing it.”

Namjoon wants you so bad. He can feel the warmth of your core rubbing against him, and he can only imagine the growing stain in your panties, the desire of licking you clean the only thing in his mind. He wants to know how you look when you cum, and he just knows it'll be the prettiest fucking thing.

“I can feel how hard you are for me.” Your shaky voice makes him growl.

“Yeah, sweet girl?” That’s his new favorite pet name, the only thing he wants leaving his mouth.

You close your lips on his neck, moaning against his skin when you lick up his throat, a salty taste coating your tongue.

“I haven’t even—” you falter, intensifying your movements to touch his covered cock with each raise of your hips “I haven't even touched you yet, big boy. If I lose control, you sure you can keep it?”

You suck a purple stain on his pulse point, nibbing at it softly and rolling your eyes back over the grunts he pours on your ears.

Your hand slides between your bodies, fingers ghosting over his cock. Namjoon chuckles darkly.

“You're such a tease.”

“And what you gonna do about it, big boy?” You murmur on his skin.

Before Namjoon can answer, though, a high giggle echoes through the corridor.

You both turn, startled by the sound.

A couple stumble its way into the corner, in a messy make out session that delays their realization that they aren't alone. 

“Do you live close?” You ask Namjoon, breathe steadying when the two of you understand the couple doesn’t really mind the audience.

“Yeah.” He says, non-committal.

“Can we maybe go to your place?” You suggest, unsure if he's comfortable with it.

Namjoon turns his attention back to you, and his lips curve up into the most gentle smile you've ever seen.

“If you want to.”

You nod, mirroring his smile.

Namjoon adjusts himself in his pants, trying to be as comfortable as one can be with a painfully hard cock in tight fitting slacks.

You take the cue to soothe your own clothing and Namjoon can't help when his cute smile turns into a full on smirk upon seeing the evidence of his hands on your crumpled outfit.

He takes your hand in his when you both are relatively presentable, and once again leads you through the club, this time aiming for the exit.

Turns out, Namjoon isn't a good boy at all.

The whole ride to his apartment his hand was planted on your thigh, caressing softly without ever breaching your inner thigh or skirting higher — it was as innocent as it possibly could be.

Yet you were squirming and fidgeting the whole trip as his voice, enveloped in the most vulgar desire, whispered the most filthy promises on your ear, shooting arousal all the way down to your now sticking panties.

Promises of making you cum on his tongue, of fucking you senseless with your face on his mattress — of painting you with his cum tonight.

By the time the car finally stopped at his place, you felt your knuckles sore from clutching the fabric of your pants.

Not that he was unaffected. Namjoon could dirty talk you all he wanted, it didn't change the fact that you saw the way his cock twitched and how he was restlessly shifting in his seat whenever you played into his little scenarios.

Although, in hindsight, saying you wanted to be stuffed full of him wasn't the best idea, because the quiet groan he spilled in your ear did nothing to placate your own aching pussy.

The warmth of his palm is familiar at this point as he takes your hand to climb the flights of stairs to his place. Namjoon quietly fishes for his keys and, before opening the door, he looks at you, smiling softly and making you smile too.

When you both are inside his apartment, you wet your lips, anticipating his kiss. But Namjoon misses the action, too preoccupied with taking off his shoes and jacket and politely asking for you to do the same at the entrance.

His long legs stride towards the kitchen, and you almost assume he’s nervous when he fumbles with his cabinets, picking up two glasses.

You frown and, slowly following after him, you hop up on the stool by the counter, across from him. 

“Namjoon.”

“Yeah.” He fills the cups with water, placing them between you two and finally returning your gaze.

“Do you still wanna fuck?”

Namjoon huffs out a laugh. “Yes. I definitely still wanna fuck you.” His eyebrows knit together. “Why? Don’t you?”

“I do. But I kinda expected you to have, you know, thrown me against the wall or something by now.”

“I might still do that. Just wanna talk for a bit, make sure you’re sober and all.” He explains, reaching for his cup, and you mimic his motion, soothing the dryness of your throat. 

“Well” you ponder “I honestly feel a bit tipsy, but I’m conscious.”

“Do you want some time to be sure?”

“Nah, I’m sure.” He nods. “Are you drunk?”

“Not really.” Namjoon presses his lips into a tight line, before saying: “I also wanna know your limits.”

“My limits?”

“Yeah, I wanna know what you don’t like.”

“Oh” you huff out a laugh, dumbfounded “that’s nice. You seriously ask that to everyone you hook up with?”

“I like to.”

“Okay, uhm…” you sip your water. “I’m not really into degradation and, although I said I like it rough, I would appreciate it if you didn’t hit me or anything.” He nods, waiting for you to continue. “I also don’t feel comfortable with ass stuff. Oh, and do you have condoms?”

“Yes.”

“Then I think that’s it. Maybe just don’t try anything freaky before telling me?”

“Sure, no problem.”

“What about you?” He cocks his head to the side, considering you for a second.

“There isn't much I'm not willing to do, honestly, so really? Just don’t want you to lie or fake stuff. I want you to tell me if I’m doing something wrong.”

“I can do that.”

Namjoon rounds the counter, stopping in front of you before helping you stand.

“Up.” He commands, head tilting in the direction of the counter, and you jump to sit on it.

“There’s only one problem.” You say, guiding him between your legs.

“What?”

“I’m soaking wet right now.”

“That can’t be comfortable.” He traces soft circles on your thighs.

“It isn’t. And it’s your fault, big boy.” You pout.

Namjoon sucks his lower lip between his teeth, dark lust cloaking his eyes.

He gets closer, hands coming to your ass and squeezing it.

“But I’ve barely done anything.”

“I’m painfully aware of that.” You whine, seeking more contact.

“Are you normally that impatient, baby?”

“Do you normally take this damn long to fuck someone?”

He chuckles.

“You sure you can take it if I’m rough with you, princess?”

“You sure you can be rough with me, sweet boy? Cause you’ve been all talk and no—”

He smashes his mouth against yours before you could finish.

Namjoon’s lips seem like velvet on yours — despite the pressure, despite the thirst with which he drinks you up. He moves his lips in a way that almost feels like too much, like you won’t be able to take it, but the taste of lust coats your mouth so deeply that you’re intoxicated.

His hands memorize your body, grabbing your neck to tilt your head to the side before you open your mouth to meet his hot tongue, flicking it with yours.

You explore his mouth, happy to swallow all of his breathy groans as Namjoon tightens his grip on your ass, pulling you to drag on his bulge and grunting at the feeling, your body gasoline to his fire.

He can barely concentrate on the kiss, and you’re not much better, the initial eagerness developing into a sloppy make out session — fuck technic, how can one focus when Namjoon’s cock is so deliciously rubbing against you?

He starts to kiss down your jaw, wet lips tracing your sensitive flesh, taking your neck as his canvas.

You couldn't be more thankful for not having any more meetings to attend until being back to Busan, because you definitely don't own enough makeup to hide the purple marks he leaves behind. 

He cups your boob, squeezing it in a way that has you parting your lips in a whimper.

“Fuck princess, you’re so responsive.”

His palm slithers beneath your shirt, caressing the soft flesh of your stomach before he tugs your top off.

“Take this off for me, baby.” He commands, voice low in your ear as he brushes the thin lace of your bra.

And you obey, unclasping it and letting it fall somewhere near your top.

You're not ashamed or timid in the slightest when you lean back on the counter to let him take in as much as he wants from you, a tiny smirk crossing your lips. Your confidence makes Namjoon crazy, but you can't help it. You feel so hot under his gaze, you could let this man do anything to you.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous. Like, honestly, what the fuck.” You giggle.

“Come back here then, sweet boy.”

He kisses down your body, from your neck to your collarbone before he finally reaches your tits.

He closes his mouth around you, swirling his tongue around your nipple as his thumb finds your other breast, flicking over your hard nub and eliciting a loud cry out of your pretty lips. Namjoon seriously feels like he could drown in your sweet sounds.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging a handful and making him groan, vibration reverberating all through your chest.

A string of saliva attaches his lips to your tits as he peppers down kisses between the valley of your chest to regard your other boob, latching onto your nipple and taking his hand to smear the wetness he left behind.

The tip of his tongue licks your nipple, and you buck into his hips.

“Fuck, Namjoon, I… I love your mouth.” You pant.

“Love your tits.”

And he certainly makes you feel so.

Your head falls back when his hand cups your pussy over your pants. The elongated moan you grace him with makes him pull your waistband, quickly undoing your buttons.

You suck in a breath when his hand slips inside your panties, and the groan that leaves his throat is borderline painful as he finally feels you — his fingertips slightly spreading your folds as your slick coats him. 

“Damn, baby, you’re dripping.” He says, breaking the pattern of kisses on your tits to look at your face.

“I fucking told you.”

“Is all this for me?”

“Yeah, ba—” your words turn into a whine when his middle finger presses down your clit.

He chuckles, and you clench around nothing.

Namjoon feels like he's dreaming, seeing your head tilted back, your eyes closed shut as you squirm on his finger.

He pushes one digit inside your aching pussy, and you sob. Your wetness paired with the warmth of your walls pushes a moan out of his mouth, electricity going straight to his dick and coaxing him to push another finger inside — his mind spiraling as he imagines how your pussy will feel like around his cock.

“Good girl, soaking my fingers.”

Namjoon’s attention is locked on your face, gauging your reactions carefully.

“Shit, baby, that's it” you shudder when his fingertips find your g-spot, and he starts to hit it restlessly, your walls sucking him in.

You feel your breath scaping your lungs. Although Namjoon’s hand is somewhat restrained by your pants — which he didn’t mind taking off — the stretch of his fingers inside of you is maddening.

He's slowly working you up, heat coursing through your body and all the way to your scalp, the obscene sounds dripping from you only spurring you on.

You start to struggle to support yourself, feeling weaker by the minute, so you grab his upper arms, in an attempt to steady yourself. When you open your eyes, you’re met with deep, dark lust.

“I want to eat you out.” He says, and you feel like you’re going to pass out.

“Fucking god.”

“Would you like that, baby?”

“Yes, baby, fuck” you moan.

“Tell me you want it.”

Can't he tell by the way your chest is rising and falling at an almost concerning speed?

“I wanna feel that pretty mouth of yours in my pussy, Namjoon.”

He groans before his hand leaves your cunt and helps you down the counter.

You two stumble your way to his bedroom. Namjoon's arms hug you tightly against him as your hands pull his hair in a messy kiss, the only concern in your minds is to remain linked.

Namjoon tosses you carelessly over his mattress, drawing a gasp out of you.

The sight of you on his sheets, bare chest glistening with his saliva, pants poorly undone and shifting as you try to relive the emptiness he left behind makes Namjoon grope himself through his clothes, swallowing strained grunts.

You smirk at his distress, bringing your hands to your boobs and pushing them together to shove that grunt out of his throat. 

“You look so pretty like this, spread out for me.”

“I bet you’ll find me prettier with your cock inside of me.”

“You keep saying these things…” he closes his eyes, sighing heavily at the image you cast in his head. “I think I need to teach you some manners, dirty girl.”

“I’m counting you’ll at least try.” You smirk and Namjoon chuckles.

In a smooth motion, he takes his shirt off, exposing his broad, sculpted chest. Smug takes his face at the way you shamelessly gawk at him, and he kneels at the floor, hands harshly yanking you to the edge of the bed by your pants, before he finally slides them down your legs.

Namjoon straight out moans when he notices the large pool of arousal staining your panties.

“Damn, baby” his voice is barely audible and you squirm, shutting your legs to try and provide some friction. “You want to be fucked this bad?” His hands come up your thighs to part them, gaze transfixed in your core, layered by the thinnest lace of underwear.

“I want to be fucked this bad by— by you, shit.” You stutter as Namjoon lips meet your legs, biting and licking the soft flesh.

He trails kisses along your thighs, closing the distance to your cunt, but instead of touching you where you need him to, his lips simply hover over you. You let out a low curse when he continues his path to your other thigh, licking and sucking roughly.

“Namjoon, please.”

“Please what, princess? Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you.”

“I want your lips.“

“They’re right here.”

“I just told you.” You whine.

“Fucking tell me again if you really want it.”

“Please, eat me out, baby.” Your voice is pathetically high, but you couldn't care less.

“Since you asked so nicely” the look of his dimples between your thighs is the most beautiful obscene thing you've ever been graced with.

Namjoon shoves your panties to the side, and the way he curses your name out has you forgetting how to breathe.

“The prettiest fucking pussy, so fucking wet for me” he groans “I bet I could slip right in.” And you’re sure he’s right, feeling your lust dripping down your ass.

Namjoon seems to like the way you squirm under him, because instead of fulfilling his promises, he blows a cold puff of air over your folds and the way you shudder has his dick twitching. 

“Namjoon, for fuck’s sake.” He chuckles. “I'll fight you, I swear to god.”

He brings his finger to glide up your entrance, effectively shutting you up.

Namjoon teases you, pulling your folds apart before spreading your slick around them, leaving you all nice and sloppy for him. His eyes flick up to the way your chest rises and falls above him, then his gaze returns to your drenched cunt.

How are you supposed to survive the night if he keeps looking at you like that? Like you are sin incorporated? 

He finally brings his face to you, licking a long stripe along your pussy and collecting all your juices on his way up to your clit, where he swirls his tongue before sucking, hard.

You can’t help the loud cry that exits your throat, nor how it elongates when Namjoon hums in pleasure.

“You taste so fucking good.”

One of your hands flies to his hair, twisting and pulling carelessly, while the other gathers his sheets in your fists.

You jolt your hips up to meet his face as he continues to lap at your cunt and when he drags the tip of his hot tongue to part your folds and pushes it inside your walls, Namjoon has to pin you down to prevent you from lifting off the bed.

“So fucking good, baby” you moan, fumbling with his hair.

“Yeah?” His deep voice against your heat makes your head fall back.

Namjoon feel his control dissolving pretty fucking fast as he takes in all that you can give him, arousal gushing out of you for him to feast.

His tongue explores your cunt and he softly takes your clit in between his teeth. You feel a sharp pressure growing in your stomach and you grind on his face seeking more of it.

“Shit! Do that again, please” you yelp, and he promptly nibbles down at your clit.

Namjoon starts to focus on your now swollen nub, while he slides his hand down, and before you can process his intentions, you feel the delicious push of two of his fingers inside of your cunt.

The sound you let out has Namjoon’s mind blanking. You arch your back, squeezing your eyes shut as goosebumps crawl up your arms.

Namjoon lifts your legs to rest them on his shoulders, allowing himself to go deeper into you and he speeds up his movements, his fingers scissoring you open for him. Namjoon eats you up like his life depends on it, sucking the soul out of your body.

Sinful squelching and slurping noises fill his room, and he wants those sounds imprinted to his brain, your pussy loudly dripping for him.

In a sudden movement, he curves his fingers, hitting your sweet spot. Your breath tries to keep up with your racing heart while the knot in your belly threatens to snap.

You let go of his sheets, hand coming up your chest, cupping your boob just slightly before pinching your hard nipples, the sensitivity making you squirm, Namjoon's groan between your legs just spurring you on, the sight of you unraveling above him the most erotic thing he's ever seen — and to know he's the one making you shiver like that makes his cock painfully hard.

You rest your hand beside your head, trying to steady yourself somehow and failing miserably.

Your mind is empty, his tongue washing away any lingering thoughts or worries you’ve ever had, as if you know nothing but the feeling of his lips wrapping around your folds and the maddening drag of his fingers inside of you. 

When your legs start to shake and your walls clench around his digits, Namjoon slightly parts his lips from you, but without pausing his fingers — if anything, he starts to pump them faster.

"You gonna cum?"

You nod.

Your lower lip will definitely be bruised tomorrow.

"Words, baby girl."

"Yes! Yes, I’m close" you cry.

"Look at me." He demands, and you do as he says.

You support yourself on your elbows, meeting his firm gaze on you.

The sight of Namjoon between your thighs, chin glistening as your arousal drips from his mouth, and the fact that he still hasn’t stopped fingering you, make your whole body quiver, your stomach contracting hard, and you have to gather all your self control to not cum just from his looks.

Fuck, you wish you could take a picture.

"Want you to look at me when you come." You clench around his fingers. "Can you do that for me, princess?"

"Yeah" you are like… twenty percent sure you can.

Namjoon grins to himself in triumph. You’re already already this fucked out and he’s barely begun with you.

His mouth returns to your core. Honestly? Namjoon's knees are surely bruised from the hard floor, scraping whenever he moves further against you. But he couldn’t give less of a fuck as his tongue worships you in earnest, your name falling from his lips like prayer while his fingers stretch you so fucking good, pushing you to the edge of your orgasm.

"Jesus, Namjoon, that’s it" you feel silly, struggling to keep your eyes open.

"Cum for me baby. Cum on my face." He commands, register so low you barely hear him.

The feral look he directs you alongside his words make your orgasm hit you in a strong wave, your body lifting from the mattress and shaking vigorously. Namjoon’s hand spreads over your stomach to try and pin you down as he keeps his tongue lapping at you, drinking up all your essence and helping you ride out your high.

He groans at the way your browns shoot up your forehead, mouth silently parting as your head falls back.

You’re so fucking gorgeous when you cum.

You push his head away from you when your legs start to tremble from oversensitivity, searching for air.

Namjoon puts your panties back in place, the soaked clothing sticking to your eaten out pussy and making him hum, satisfied.

"That’s it, baby, you did so well for me."

"Fuck" you whisper, running your fingers through your hair. The shockwaves of your orgasm are still making you shiver when you pant, "what the fuck was that?"

Namjoon chuckles, slowly lifting himself from his bruised knees.

His stare on you falters when he darts his tongue out to collect your cum from around his mouth, eyes fluttering shut.

He climbs up the bed, careful not to crush you as he brings his lips to yours. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and he swallows the quiet whine you make before pulling away.

Namjoon takes his wet fingers and wraps around his mouth, sucking his fingers clean with his eyes closed.

When he looks at you again, something unreadable crosses his gaze before he gulps. "Can I spit in your mouth, pretty girl?"

Your reaction betrays your answer, thighs immediately pressing together as a new wave of arousal shoots through you at his request.

But Namjoon still waits until you say: "Fuck yeah, you can."

His smile is ridiculously innocent for the matter at hand.

"Then open up for me, princess."

And you do, parting your lips and sticking your tongue out as he grabs your jaw, hovering above you.

You close your eyes as a small globe of spit hits your tongue, and you swallow proudly, a content hum ripping from your throat. 

"Good girl, shit, that’s so hot."

He leans in to resume the kiss, making himself more comfortable between your legs. His clothed cock drags against your inner thigh.

Why is he still wearing pants?

"Namjoon" you call, between kisses.

"Uhm."

You take your hands to his torso, tracing freely and loving the way his skin shivers under your fingertips. From his broad shoulders to his firm abdomen, you explore his golden, sweaty skin above you, until you slide one of your hands down. Your palm touches his member, stroking it just slightly as you bathe in the broken moan he graces you with.

"Let me suck you off." You offer, feeling how hard — and thick, mind you — he is under your hand.

"Can you handle more?" His tone is teasing, but his look is genuine. 

You’re silent for a moment. What does he mean by that? Would he just… stop if you said no?

God, why is that so hot?

"Yeah, sweet boy. Wanna take care of you too."

The problem is that there’s no way Namjoon’s gonna last if you suck him off. He can barely control himself now, after tasting you and drawing all those sweet sounds out of you. His dick is already twitching under your half assed strokes, the slight discomfort from his pre cum staining his clothes a clear sign he needs to be inside you. He wants to make you cum again, but around his cock this time.

So he chuckles.

"Can you take it if I fuck you now?" You bite your lip, nodding. "Yeah? Tell me you want my cock, baby girl."

"I want you cock, Joonie." You spill, lips nearing his ear. "I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk tomorrow."

Maybe not your brightest idea, but at this point you don't give a shit. Namjoon is the only thought on your mind and if you came that hard just from his fingers, you can’t wait to see what his dick will feel like.

"Fuck, I love your filthy mouth." He groans. "Sure you don’t need some time?"

"Nah… maybe leave the riding for later, though?" A coy smile crosses your face.

"Sure" he smiles back.

Namjoon kneels back on the bed, wincing a bit when his sore knee touches the crumpled sheets. Ignoring it, he reaches for his wallet in his back pocket, taking a foil packet out of it.

He stands up, tossing the wallet aside before reaching for his belt.

"Let me" you ask, lifting yourself and sitting on your heels.

You take your hands to his thigh, caressing it before going to his belt, which you undo, eyes not daring to look away from his.

You bite your lip when your hands open his zipper, and you reach around him to grasp his pants, pulling them down slowly as he looks at you with nothing but lust, eyes tilting down to your bare chest.

"You honestly have the most amazing thighs."

He frowns in amusement. "Thanks?"

Usually you’re a big fan of reciprocity, and you might have considered taking your sweet fucking time with him, just like he did with you, if Namjoon hadn’t just give you one of the best orgasms of your life and if you didn’t feel arousal pooling again on your already soaked panties. So, instead, you just pull down his pants along with his briefs, his cock springing free.

Namjoon hisses at the feeling of the fabric dragging against his shaft, and you have to suck in a breath when you look at his thick member. It must be painful how hard he is at this point, dick angry and throbbing.

"Big boy indeed." You blurt out, making Namjoon laugh as he kicks his pants down his legs.

"Losing your confidence, princess?" Honestly? Namjoon has no business having such a pretty cock and being this hot. You feel like he should be illegal.

You curl your palm around his dick and give it a tentative pump. A long moan falls from his lips from finally receiving some attention.

"Namjoon?"

"Yeah."

"Can I at least taste you?" Are you fucking pleading?

He gulps.

"Please?" You pout.

He bites his lip — how could he ever say no to you looking up at him like that, the cutest pout on your lips, while you beg him to let you give him head? He'd give you anything.

"Shit, yes, you can."

You smile.

That's it. Namjoon's sure he's imagining you. Is he dreaming?

You inch closer, giving his tip an experimental lick and tasting his salty pre cum, riveting at the sweet sounds he lays out for you.

You spit on his shaft before you lick your way down him, smearing your spit all over his length, before giving his crown a light suck, prompting Namjoon to buck his hips into your mouth, and you welcome him.

You moan, feeling his weight on your tongue. He twitches between your lips when you hollow your cheeks.

You start to take him further, his tip grazing the back of your mouth while you pump what you can’t fit inside.

"Fuck, princess, you look so pretty sucking my cock." He groans, head tilting back for a second and squeezing his eyes shut.

When you start to bob your head faster, though, Namjoon gathers all his self control and pushes you away, and you release him with a small pop.

You pout, and his jaw tenses "why would you stop me then?"

"I wanna fuck you." He pumps his dick a few times, hand slipping easier with your saliva now coating him. "All I’ve been thinking about."

Namjoon rips the foil packet open with his teeth, securing the condom around himself.

You make a move to lay back on his mattress, but Namjoon shakes his head.

"Nah, baby, that’s not how I want you."

He slithers his arm around your torso, harshly turning you over. He yanks you by your waist, pulling your ass up to him. His hand runs down your spine, pressing your face on his sheets.

Namjoon positions himself behind you. His palm comes up to caress your ass before giving it a hard squeeze.

Namjoon parts your cheeks, and he brings his fingers to your folds, spreading them apart to stare at your pussy. He grunts upon noticing your cunt is already a mess for him again even if he’s just licked you clean.

"You got wet again from sucking my dick, princess?"

"You felt so good in my mouth."

Your words fuel him, and Namjoon doesn’t think twice before he inches closer and licks your folds, the tip of his tongue collecting your licking lust as he hums in pleasure.

"Sweetest fucking pussy" your eyes roll back.

Namjoon pulls away to admire the view. There are you, all pliant, waiting for his next action with your face pressed down his bed, your ass on display, pussy dripping in anticipation.

He never felt this fucking hard.

"God, you’re gorgeous. So beautiful for me like this."

He grips his cock, aligning himself with your entrance, but instead of just sinking it inside you, Namjoon drags his crown up and down your folds like he has all the fucking time in the world. Your spit mixing with your gushing arousal.

You groan — you wanna fight him.

"Namjoon" his name drips like sin from your lips.

"Uhm." He hums, distracted.

"Just fuck me already."

He smirks. 

"Now that’s no way of asking something, is it?" You groan. "Don't you wanna be a good girl for me?"

"Baby, please, can you fuck me? My pussy is so fucking wet right now." You whine, wiggling your ass, creating some, but not nearly enough, friction. "Please..."

Namjoon fucking loves your dirty mouth. "Good girl."

He slowly presses himself between your folds, shoving a loud moan from your throat.

You shudder from the intrusion, his tip deliciously splitting you up as it slides in your cunt.

"Shit, baby, you’re way too tight." He grunts. "Relax for me, princess."

Namjoon leans over you, his torso framing your back. He lays sweet kisses on your shoulders, and his hand on your hips starts to softly trace your skin, raising until he’s grabbing one of your boobs. He squeezes it, pitching your hard nipples.

His gentle touches make you melt, allowing for Namjoon to drag his cock further inside of you, finding little resistance as his thick cock stretches you up.

Your cunt engulf him so tightly that Namjoon feels his mind spiraling, and when his hips meet your ass, you both let out a shaky breath.

"Shit, I feel so fucking full."

He chuckles.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Yeah, fuck. Gimme a sec."

You roll your hips slightly to try and get used to his size, but he’s filling you up so good that the tiniest of movements makes his shaft drag against your walls, a quiet yelp falling from your lips.

"Ok." You gulp. "You can move."

Namjoon licks his lips and smirks, hands tightening on your hips.

"Hold tight, baby."

He slowly pushes himself out of you, but doesn’t give you time to feel empty as he immediately comes slamming back inside. You gasp, body jerking forward.

Your pussy welcomes him with each thrust, swallowing him with the most wet sounds you’ve ever heard, and you start to push your ass back to try and take him further between your tight walls.

His cock moves in a merciless pace, and you feel like you forgot how to breathe.

How the fuck does he know how to move his hips like that?

You’re exhilarated, mouth open but not a single sound coming out. Overwhelmed by his soft moans above you, by the way he stuffs your pussy full of him, by the way you can feel your legs wet with your arousal gushing from your core.

You try to get your shit together, prompting your ass back to meet his thrusts, and when you finally find his rhythm — but not without the help of his firm hands dragging you against him — the slapping sounds become so vulgar that you sob.

"That’s it, baby, that’s what you wanted, right?" He mumbles, voice barely coherent as his throbbing cock relentlessly drills your pussy. "To be fucked so hard, to be so stuffed you aren’t able to speak, hum?"

You hum, feeling like you’ll scream if you open your mouth.

Namjoon doesn’t like it, though. He hates the way you’re suppressing your pleasing from him.

"I thought I told you I wanna hear you losing it, baby. Where’s your filthy mouth?"

"So… you… so good, Namjoon… fuck" you stutter.

"You like it?"

"Yeah, shit, go harder."

His eyes flutter shut for a second.

"Anything you want, princess."

Namjoon shifts his legs, trying different angles to make you unable to hold your pretty sounds in. He attempts a couple of ways before he sets his left foot on the mattress, and when he resumes his thrusting a loud scream rips from your throat.

"That’s it, Namjoon, god, there. Please, do it again." You plea, voice pathetically high as you clench around him.

Your moaning is fuel to him, and he starts to fuck you as hard as he can, loving how you’re spiraling under him, tortured sounds finally reaching his ears.

"You feel so good, baby." You say and Namjoon growls.

Just as blissful as the sensation of his cock deep inside of your tight walls, is knowing that he’s making you feel on the fucking moon too. So, he seeks the same spot over and over again, his purpose clear.

You roll your hips, grinding on his cock.

God, it's such a shame you're not into degradation. All Namjoon wants it's to call you his slut.

"Shit, princess, you’re so greedy, fucking yourself with my cock."

You push your ass back again, but this time you feel his balls slapping against your clit and you both falter as lightning courses through your bodies, making you constrict your pussy around him.

"Do that again, baby girl." He commands, and you fucking obey.

You clench around his cock again, and Namjoon goes feral.

His strokes are hard, but so fucking precise that the way he’s railing your pussy makes you feel like you’re losing your grip on reality. 

Shit, this is too fucking good, and Namjoon feels dizzy. If he wasn’t drunk before he certainly feels like it now, thoroughly enjoying the way you’re completely unraveling under him.

"You’re squeezing me so good, so fucking tight for me." He groans out.

His fingers dig into your flesh in a way that you’re sure it’ll definitely bruise — but you want it too. You want him to mark you all over with the evidence of how good he’s fucking you, of how good he’s making you feel.

Your mind is clouded. Your knuckles sore from how hard you’re clutching the sheets.

Namjoon’s so fucking satisfied, pride exuding from his body as he looks down at you on his bed, being fucked senseless as he drills his cock in and out of you, loud slapping and squelching sounds making it even more obscene.

"You take me so well, shit, such a good girl." Namjoon groans, hypnotized by the way your body rocks with the force of his thrust.

You could die a happy woman just from the way he praises you. His words making your stomach twists in what you’re sure will be another mesmerizing orgasm. 

"I could fuck you all night, baby, and I just know you’d take it."

"Yeah, Namjoon— I, I would." You yelp. "I will."

He has the audacity to chuckle. 

"I’ll hold you up on that offer later."

You’re already so close again. God, you don’t wanna come like this, you don’t wanna come so soon.

"Namjoon?" You call and he hums in response. "I wanna ride you."

Did he win the lottery or something? He feels like he doesn’t deserve it. God, he missed like, three essay deadlines this semester, he definitely doesn’t deserve it. 

"Fuck, yeah, baby, you can ride me."

He slips out of you, and wastes no time crawling to sit at the headboard.

Namjoon reaches out to hold you, helping you straddle him with your wobbly legs. He laughs when you take a deep breath, goosebumps all over your skin.

"You sure you can ride me, though?"

"Shut up" you hiss, trying to concentrate before you wrap your hand around his length and lift over him to align him with your entrance.

A shaky cry falls from your lips as you gradually sink in his dick. The stretch is completely different and his fat cock splits you open so deliciously that you somehow feel even fullen than before.

"Fuck, I love this position." He reads your thoughts.

You just nod, unable to think as you find purchase on his shoulders. When you’re finally fully seated, you feel like Namjoon's cock is touching your soul.

"Fuck, Namjoon, you’re huge."

His face is all scrunched up, brows knit together in pleasure, and you’re almost angry at how beautiful this man is. The nerve.

"God, this pussy so fucking tight."

You take a deep breath, and swiftly roll your hips over him. Namjoon’s head thumb back and you feel so fucking powerful when his hands grab your ass, trying to guide you over him to reproduce the feeling. So you grind on him again, making his cock reach spots you didn’t even know you had.

After rolling a bit more on his lap, you muster all the strength you can and lean back, planting your palms on his thighs — have you mentioned how fucking beautiful his thighs is? — before slowly raising yourself.

The second time you drag your pussy down his length is even more delicious, and it makes you feel so good that you feel like this is wrong in some way.

Ok, who are you kidding?

You’re both pure sin at this point. There’s no turning back from the obscenities you two said tonight.

So yeah, fuck it.

You try to focus as you slowly start to move your hips up and down, regretting all the times your friends tried to convince you to exercise and you didn’t, because you can’t seem to find a pace.

But Namjoon, so very attentive to your needs, grabs your hips, helping you establish a sluggish pace — but a pace nonetheless.

You gradually start to feel more comfortable, more capable, and Namjoon’s grip on your waist is now more for his own sake than yours when your movements speed up.

Soon enough, you’re riding him in earnest, in a hard rhythm that makes you meet his pelvis each time, his thighs quiver under your weight in the most gorgeous way as you send Namjoon to the places he not long ago made you visit. 

A proud grin settles on your face, watching him grunt with each stroke. 

"You're so good for me, baby, letting me fuck you like a good boy" you echo his words, almost teasing, but your shaky tone betrays you.

"You fuck me so good, princess."

Shit, you feel lightheaded.

Namjoon bites his lip, eyes transfixed on your bouncing tits. He takes your boobs in his palms, caressing and grasping them softly, your sounds music to his ears.

Your gaze falls to his neck, not nearly enough marked by you, so you dive to his throat, tongue licking up to his ear before you start to kiss and suck harshly at his pulse points, making him moan loudly into your ear.

"You’re so sweet and big for me" you say, clenching around him and you feel his dick twitching inside.

"Shit, baby, do it again." He asks, and you promptly close your walls around him again.

Namjoon’s not sure how long he’ll last with you on top of him like this, riding the soul out of his body while your lips worship his neck. But he needs you to come first — or rather, again, but this time around his throbbing cock.

Thankfully you’re not far. Your lower belly is contracting, nearing your high, and you’re so gone that you could tell Namjoon you love him at this point, you don’t even care — and you don’t think he does either.

"You’re so good for me, my pretty girl."

His? Shit, can you have that on paper?

"All yours, baby."

You yelp when Namjoon’s thumb finds your clit and starts rubbing you. The pad of his fingers spreads your wetness over your bundle of nerves, your heart ramming against your ribcage.

"Baby, I’m… I’m close." You're fucking panting, that's what you are.

"Thank god." He breaths. "Can I take over, princess?"

You nod, and Namjoon circles his strong arm around your waist, turning you without slipping his dick off of you.

When he suits himself above you, you immediately wrap your legs around his torso, and Namjoon starts to fuck you like he’s made for it. Fuck, why does he feel like he is, though?

His thrusts are relentless, but he uses his last working braincell to aim his cock against the spots he’s learned that make you cry louder — which you do.

Your hands grip at his hair, tugging hard as your head falls back.

You have to gather all the focus you possibly can to open your mouth, your voice barely a whisper.

"Choke me, baby."

Namjoon gulps.

"What."

"Please, choke me."

"Shit, princess." Is this what dying feels like?

Namjoon closes his hand around your neck, fingers pressing down your pulse points as he feels your erratic heartbeat slightly soothing under his fingertips. Why is this so hot?

Your every sensation is heightened. His cock heavenly railing you, his hot breath fanning against your sweaty skin, the loud sounds that fall both from where your bodies meet and from his mouth.

It takes barely a minute before white spots blur your vision. The tight not in your stomach snaps so fucking hard a scream leaves your parted lips.

Namjoon wants to know how to immortalize the way your face scrunches up when you come — would you let him do it again just so he can take a picture?

The force of your orgasm makes your pussy clench hard around his cock, and you milk him and your body quivers violently. When your back arches from the bed, his bed, he swears you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

His thrusts become shallow, and you’re still rocking with the afterwaves of your orgasm, fighting through the overstimulation when Namjoon feels his own high approaching, so he quickly pulls himself out of your cunt.

He rips the condom off of his cock, tossing it wherever for him to mind later, and starts to pump himself above you. And what a fucking sight to behold.

"Come for me, baby, you’ve been so good, I want you to come all over me."

And like the good boy he is, Namjoon immediately does.

His hot white cum paints your belly just like he promised, a guttural groan leaving his throat as he empties himself over your stomach until he’s thoroughly spent.

You look down, wetting your lips before you bring your finger to your belly. You collect his cum with a flicker of your finger, and take your hands to wrap your mouth around, tasting his salty orgasm with a satiated hum.

Namjoon shudders. In that second, he wants nothing more than to come again just to see you eat his cum out of yourself once more.

"You’re a fucking menace, you know that?"

You smile innocently, and he falls beside you on his sheets.

Namjoon’s breath is uneven, and he brings his hands to push his hair out of his face.

You turn to him, a large grin on your lips. Namjoon’s eyes find yours.

"What?" His lips curve upwards.

"Fuck, sweet boy, I think I’m in love."

You two start giggling, you shake your shoulders in pure mirth while his laugh reverberates all through his body — you both find those sounds just as attractive as the obscenes ones you were eliciting just now.

It takes some time before your shared amusement softly becomes small snickers. 

"Still with the sweet thing?"

"You’re the best I’ve ever had, baby, you’re definitely my sweet boy." He takes his lips in his teeth, shaking his head. 

"I’m the best, huh?"

"Hell, yeah, I’m fucking giggling, Namjoon. Really, what the fuck."

"You’re the best pussy I’ve ever had. I honestly couldn’t be happier your brother bailed on you."

"Shut up." You playfully shove his shoulder, chuckling.

"Seriously, though, introduce me to him, I need to thank him."

"Don't ruin it." You joke.

You both fall into a comfortable silence, collecting your breaths.

"Wait, be right back."

Namjoon lazily gets on his feet, grabbing the used condom from the floor and heading to his bathroom, closing the door.

He returns a couple minutes after, a towel in his hand as he crawls back to bed and starts to gently clean your stomach, reaching your pussy and easing the mess he’s made of you.

"Thanks."

"Don’t mention it." You try to get out of bed, but your shaky legs make you stumble as you get up.

Namjoon quickly helps you steady yourself, a proud smile curving his lips.

"Can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure."

"Uhm… also, do you mind if I stay the night?" You ask, glancing at the clock on his bedside table, noting it’s way past one in the morning.

"Princess, I expect you too." Namjoon smirks. "We’re not nearly done."

Namjoon somehow can look even better in the morning.

You wake up feeling his serene heartbeat beneath your ear, his arms enveloping you and your legs entangled.

You’ve been just peacefully staring at him for around ten minutes now.

At first it was because you feel like you’ve been hit by a bus, sore to the bones. But then, it was because he’s just so damn beautiful you couldn’t help it.

He takes a deep breath, stretching his limbs as he wakes up, yawning loudly. You inch closer and give him a quick peck on his cheek, before resting your chin on his chest.

"Good morning, pretty girl" he smiles, opening his eyes and tugging you closer.

"Morning, sweet boy."

"How long you’ve been awake?"

"Not sure. Ten minutes?"

"Wow, and you’ve just been staring at me? That's so creepy." You roll your eyes, and he chuckles.

Neither of you speaks for another couple of minutes, bathing in the calmness of the morning.

"You ok?" He asks.

"Yeah. Really sore, though."

"Well, you asked for it."

"I did, didn’t I?" You grin. "And you gave it to me like the good boy you are." You tease, kissing his lips.

He reciprocates the touch, but neither of you takes it further.

So. Fucking. Tired.

"I see I wasn’t able to teach you how to behave."

"I’m a lost cause, but I appreciate the effort." He huffs out a laugh, closing his eyes.

"What time is it?"

You turn on his hold to face his clock. "Almost ten."

"Hum."

Namjoon doesn’t make any move to get up, and you start to look over his room. For some reason, you didn’t pay it the slightest attention the night before.

"You in college?" You ask, when you notice tons of books piled on the floor near his dresser.

"Yeah, in my last year."

"Uhm, so pretty boy is also intelligent." He snickers.

"My good looks can be deceiving."

"I was deceived indeed. You have such a dirty mouth, I was baffled." He shoves you away from his grip, groaning.

"You're one to say, the filthiest girl I’ve ever met."

"The filthiest? You flatter me." You laugh, as he playfully pushes you to the other side of the bed. "Oh c’mon, you liked it."

He smiles. "Yeah, I did."

He’s so tender you almost feel shy.

"What do you study?"

"Literature."

"It suits you." You say, scanning his face.

"Thanks, I really like it. But what about you? Aren’t you in college?"

"I graduated last year."

"What you do?"

"Architecture."

"That’s nice."

"Yeah. I’m on a work trip, actually."

"You’re not from here?"

"No, I live in Busan."

"Oh. My roommate is from Busan."

"You have a roommate?" You ask, mortified, but Namjoon chuckles.

"Don’t worry, he was out. He didn’t hear the way you were screaming last night." You shake your head, a smile on your face. Namjoon breathes deeply before lifting to a sitting position on the bed. "Want some breakfast?"

"Yeah, I’d like that. Let me just use the bathroom real quick."

"Ok. Do you like toast? That’s basically the only thing I can make."

"Finally!"

"What?" He frowns.

"Finally you have a flaw, oh my god, I was losing hope" you say dramatically, raising your arms.

"Can't have you falling in love now, can I?" He jokes and you laugh.

Namjoon gets out of bed and you follow, heading for the bathroom and closing the door behind you.

He smiles to himself, shaking his head.

He makes his way to his kitchen, finding his roommate already there, eating his breakfast.

"Morning." He announces himself, and Jimin turns to him.

"Hey, man" he smiles mischievously, cocking his head in the direction of your clothes lying on the floor "how was the party last night?"

Namjoon's brief concern for forgetting to gather the clothes you took off in the kitchen quickly dissolves into a smirk.

"The party? Oh, I kept it in my room."

"All night?"

"All fucking night." They both chuckle. "She’s in the bathroom, so please be civil when she comes here."

Namjoon goes to his cabinets, grabbing some bread to prepare you something to eat.

"Sure, man."

"What about you? You arriving now?"

"I came home around six, I think, so I just crashed. Woke up half an hour ago."

"And how was it with that guy?"

"It was mid. But hey, it was worth the shot. Even if he has no fucking game he's still hot as fuck."

"Sorry to hear that." Jimin shrugs. 

"And what about this girl, huh?"

"Man, this girl…" Namjoon trails off, shaking his head "so fucking hot, I felt like I was dreaming."

"Really? You seeing her again then?"

"Don’t think so, she’s not from here."

"That’s too bad."

"Yeah, it’s whatever. By the way, do you wanna hang out later? There’s this music festival going on and I have no one to go with."

"Don't know, I’m probably going out with my sister today, she flew from Busan to see me."

"Oh nice. Maybe you could introduce us."

"Yeah, if she’s down maybe we can all go together to this festival." Namjoon nods.

He leans on the counter, facing Jimin, and smiles once he sees you coming from the hall.

"Hey, pretty girl."

Jimin turns back when Namjoon acknowledges you.

"Oh, hey sis!" Jimin greets automatically — before freezing completely.

Both yours and Namjoon’s eyes widen in terror.

"Chim?!"

"Wait— she’s your sister!?"

"Jimin’s your roommate from Busan?"

You stand still in the hallway, watching mortified as your brother's face contorts in a grimace, realization hitting him before he shoots his friend a deadly glare.

"God, Namjoon, you fucked my sister?!"

"I didn’t know it was your sister!"

"Man, you’re fucking gross!"

"The fuck’s that supposed to mean?!" You ask, indignant.

"My sister’s not hot!"

"Jimin?!"

"Can’t agree with you on that one, man, sorry." Namjoon argues.

"Those are my sister’s clothes, man?" He continues, ignoring what his friend said for his mental health’s sake, before he turns to you. "And you’re wearing his clothes? What the fuck?!"

"Jimin, stop being a child."

"You came to Seoul to fuck my roommate?!"

"You’re the one who stood me up last night. To fuck, may I remind you."

"Thanks for that, by the way." Namjoon interjects, winking at you, and a small smile crosses your lips before Jimin groans, exasperated.

"Seriously, man?! And what the hell happened to your neck, did he fucking punch you?"

"God, no! I just cho—"

"Shut up! God, I can’t fucking look at your two right now, unbelievable." He says, getting up in a hussle before striding to his room, cursing under his breath.

You and Namjoon are left alone in the kitchen, silence filling the room.

You gauge his expressions, realizing he’s doing the same.

"Thank fuck he wasn’t here last night." Namjoon says after a while, and you can’t contain the laugh that escapes past your lips.

"You really had to thank him, though?" Namjoon bites his lips. 

"I'd feel bad if I didn't. Mom taught me to be grateful." He bites his lip. "Do you still want that toast?"

You smile. "Sure, sweet boy."

note ↠ sooooo, what do you think? i really hope you guys enjoyed it as much as i did! it took some time for me to finally be satisfied with it, and i have like, ten versions lost somewhere in my google docs lmao links ↠ navigation | masterlist | join my permanent taglist

[catboybiologist]

Random question: do you have a favorite theory as to how multicellular organisms formed? Mine is the Cell Symbiosis theory

Do you mean endosymbiosis for the formation of Eukaryotic life?

Endosymbiosis is basically as "proved" as anything can be without a time machine. For those that don't know- mitochondria and chloroplasts have a lot of features of independent bacterial cells, including their own genome, and processes that occur along their membranes that also occur along bacterial membranes (like the ETC itself), and much, much more. So the reasoning goes that these more complex organelles evolved as independent organisms that were then engulfed by larger prokaryotic cells, which then become the Eukaryotes we know today over time. But there are still single celled Eukaryotes around that have these organelles, so this is orthogonal to multicellularity.

As for the rise of multicellular life, this is really cool because we actually have multiple independent examples of multicellularity arising from symbiosis, and there are extremely simple examples of bacteria being multicellular- and yeah, it was essentially starts as independent cells becoming symbiotic to each other. My favorite is cyanobacteria:

The basic idea is that cyanobacteria are nitrogen fixers, meaning that they can take atmospheric nitrogen and turn it into ammonia or other nitrates that are bioavailable to other organisms. It's a crucial choke point in the nitrogen cycle, and somewhat rare- The family of enzymes that do this, however, are extremely sensitive to oxygen and can't function in its presence. Most organisms don't bother, and just eat something else to get their fixed nitrogen. But what's the solution if you do want to fix nitrogen?

Some cyanobacteria only exist in small "chains" of cells- no more than a dozen, attached together in a line, with some permeability to their membranes. Then, the roles are divided. Most of the cells function as normal, photosynthesizing and producing oxygen as usual. But a single cell in that chain is designated as the nitrogen fixing one- it shuts down photosynthesis, makes itself impermeable to oxygen, and starts expressing nitrogen fixing genes. Essential energy carrying molecules and other important stuff gets shuttled in from neighboring cells, and fixed nitrogen compounds get shuttled out.

This is so fucking cool to me. It's an extremely simplistic, stripped down version of multicellularity and tissue specialization. It's impossible to know what exactly happened to make the majority of Eukaryotes multicellular- and it probably arose multiple times within Eukaryotes themselves as well, and there are some funky examples of simple multicellularity in protists (the shadowy grab bag taxonomic classification that contains horrors most biologists dread to touch). But it was probably something like this- a small clump of cells started adhering together, and slowly became more specialized to increase energy efficiency.

Similar bacteria also exist in the roots of some plants (which is one reason crop rotation is important), but the cyanobacteria in the ocean do the overwhelming majority of nitrogen fixation on this planet.

Fun fact, this is why the Great Oxygenation was so devastating-it's thought that when some bacteria had the bright idea start spitting out oxygen and the atmosphere became filled with it, nitrogen fixing bacteria populations plummeted. And at that time, it's thought that these bacteria constituted the majority of life on earth. Woopsie. A small fraction of them, however, developed systems like this, and they've kept the entire food web going ever since.

This spun off on a tangent, but I hope it's the kind of thing you wanted when you dropped this ask!!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I read your analysis/thoughts on sebek and his identity as half fairy and half human, and thought it was very, very compelling. I'm also mixed (but obviously not a fantasy race haha) so your explanation for his condescension of humans due to internalized hatred hit close to home. that post then got me thinking about azul because he is also a character who hates his identity, though in a different way. we learn that he's very insecure about being an octopus, and it's implied that even when he was in elementary school he was researching spells to change ones species (when the tweels said he was interesting, it was on one of the shells). do you think azul likes being a human more than his real self? do you think he'd actually prefer to stay/live on the surface because he doesn't have to deal with the memories of being made fun of for just being him? actually, if the theory of mers placing more value on traits that encourage survival is true, while demeaning those that make them easy pickings (like azul's slowness) wouldn't that mean even as an adult, azul would be kind of discriminated against still, thereby making living on the surface even more attractive?

[Referencing this analysis!]

Aaaah, I’m glad you enjoyed that Sebek analysis!! ^^ That’s one that I’m particularly proud of, especially since I have some personal stakes in the topics I covered in it. Sebek needs more appreciation and understanding!

I think you make some very salient points about Azul. While the discrimination towards octopus merpeople is referenced far less often than the discrimination between fae and humans, it’s still a crucial point in discussions concerning Azul’s insecurities. According to him, octopuses rare compared to other kinds of merpeople. One reason for this could be that octopus merfolk have big, bulky appendages (their tentacles) which get in the way of swimming and leaves them more susceptible to dangers in the deep. As a youth, Azul was bullied for a myriad of reasons, some of which inherently link back to his being an octopus merperson. The other children would make fun of him for swimming slowly, spitting out ink when he cried, and being easy to find during hide-and-seek (most likely due to his larger frame and additional limbs)--all traits which make him an octopus. Azul ended up internalizing a lot of the hurtful comments thrown at him (such as being a "slow, stupid octopus"), and indeed, these are the phrases he himself utters at his lowest moments... that he will go back to being an "idiotic octopus" again.

I actually didn't remember the detail about there being a species changing spell written inside a seashell in the episode 3 flashback, but when I went back to check it was definitely there! (Must've slipped my mind?) I don't know if Azul was studying that spell in hopes or changing himself, if it's for some future endeavor (like the deals he would later go on to make with his classmates), or if he just wanted to expand his own knowledge and become powerful like the Sea Witch 🤔 But!! It definitely gives us some food for thought.

I get the sense that while Azul has formed a new identity for himself and is working on coming to terms with his past, he still harbors some shame which he is careful to mask for the sake of his image. For example, whenever an opportunity arises for Azul to appear in his octopus form but he doesn’t, he hand waves it with a convenient yet reasonable excuse. (In 3-38, he says you don’t see many octopus merpeople in these parts, so appearing as one would draw unwanted attention to himself while he’s trying to return a stolen photograph. Then in 4-34, Azul says he is not a fast swimming because of his tentacles, hence why only the twins revert to their merforms to swim the gang back to Scarabia.) I feel like Azul is purposefully avoiding being seen in his merform because it’s a reminder to himself of his old weak self and he has a lot of self esteem issues tied up in that.

I think being a human, even temporarily, grants Azul a brief escape and allows him to fully embrace this new confident persona he has cultivated for himself. He has literally been made “anew” on land; this strong image of him is all his peers know, whereas his peers in the Coral Sea will have memories of how he used to be. As Azul currently is, I think he has a preference to presenting as human (again, as he’s still working on fully accepting himself). However, I also believe that part of his enjoyment of being a human comes from the lucrative business opportunities that arise from it. He can immerse himself in the ways of the world above and also network, then pull from those experiences to improve upon his own business ventures. This would give him a leg up against competitors that are purely land or purely sea based.

I do think it’s fair to think Azul may live and work on land in the future, though I also think he could return home (in a more permanent sense) if time is kind to him and he’s able to completely embrace everything that he is and everything he once was. I mean, he’ll probably visit home anyway even if he stays on land (as he holds his family and the restaurant staff at his mother’s business in high regard). But no matter where Azul goes, he can never fully escape reminders of his past; even on land, he has Jade and Floyd teasing him about how cute and squishy his octopus form is. He can’t keep running from it. Maybe the Azul at the beginning of episode 3 would want to live on land, where he would be most far removed from his home, and this far removed from his original form and the painful trauma associated with it. But post-episode 3 Azul? I don’t know about that. He has acknowledged at the end of 3 that he made the mistake of rejecting what was an essential part of him. In later story appearances, Azul seems to be a little more approachable, a little more vulnerable (he has those moments where he banters with the twins, when he lets his cool slip arguing with Riddle in 6, etc.). He’s working on it—and with that, reshaping his own beliefs on the world, and on himself. Thus, he could eventually become comfortable with his true form to consider a “return to form” and with it, to the sea.

I also think that the current Azul is a lot more competent than he was as a child, so this would earn him more respect if he were to return. Once Azul started offering his services back in middle school, others seem to have started to treat him a whole lot better (this is also the period where Jade and Floyd get fully invested in him). Most people wouldn’t look at him and see that same crybaby octopus now. Still, it’s hard to tell for certain because there was such a myriad of things Azul was bullied for (his intelligence, his weight, his lack of physical abilities, etc.) which aren’t all tied to his being an octopus.

While I do buy the “merpeople place more value on traits that aid in survival in the oceanic environment” headcanon, it’s hard to say what the real stance is on octopus merfolk in the TWST world is. The only real opinions we have are from NPC merfolk children, and they can be unreliable narrators since… well, little kids can pick on the most mundane of traits. We don’t know if this reflects the feelings of adult merpeople or merfolk society at large; we only have this small sampling to work off of. Circumstances can impact our perception of the lore. For example, Kifaji also says that bird beastmen are rare, but he’s in a wise and privileged enough of a position that we wouldn’t get a good understanding of how bird beastmen in general are treated compared to more abundant types of beastmen like lions.

shjsbskwnzks Phew, those were a lot of thoughts 😅 Hopefully I was able to articulate myself alright!

[crookedkingdomruinedme]

y'know what. I'm tired of this very bad (lovely but overused idea) that all asexuals are this cute, bubbly, sweet little babies that don't know what sex even is or people that are traumatized.

(I'm in no way, shape, or form saying that any of the above types/reasons to be ace is invalid, you are absolutely valid and no one has the right to judge you. I'm just very tired of only seeing these "tropes" in fics and wish to tell people that Asexuality is a spectrum, not black and white, just like gender and preferences)

Fuck no.

I need representations, people.

Give me a person who uses their beauty as their greatest weapon. Hypnotizing people with their good looks and charms and flirty nature but never going further, because they are repulsed by the idea of sexual intimacy or a night of fun.

Give me a person who loves the idea of sexual intimacy but not for the act in itself, but for the closeness you get with your loved one through it.

Give me a person who looks bubbly, cute, and kind, who writes the most filthiest of smut scenes with utmost detail but has never done the act themselves.

Give me a person who's never done the deal but does not care about it, and thinks of it like something that can be done but what is the need?

A person who does engage in sexual activities but just because it's meh. It's fun but I really don't see what's so crucial about it.

A person who's absolutely repulsed by the mere thought of it because ew, that's fucking nasty. Why would you want anyone's spit in your mouth? You'll get diseases you fucking idiot.

A person who's willing to do sex just because they want to help their partner with their needs, and not because they feel the need to do it.

Two people, an ace and a sex-driven person in a relationship because what, dude. Love isn't all about fucking on every surface you get tehir hands on.

A love that's sated just by cuddles, movies, kisses, and physical closeness, no need for anything more.

An old love story of a couple who adopted two kids/puppies/kittens etc and never ever engaged sexually but are so full in love with each other.

A person who loves to be skin-to-skin with their partner but not anything more.

A person who cannot even bring themselves to even kiss someone romantically.

A person who doesn't care about sex and whether or not it's something to be done in a relationship.

A person who loves to read smut but hates the thought of actually engaging in it

[doodlemunster]

You can't just leave me hanging with "great stories"! Would you kindly share your some stories from your Escape Room days that were the:

1. Craziest

2. Silliest

3. Wtf-iest (moment that made you go wtf/question humanity)

LMAO oh I am more than happy to tell them!! Strap in, cuz I def have a few!

Some of these stories kind of fall into all three categories and mixtures of both, but I'm gonna do my best!

Craziest

would have to be a story that I tell almost every time someone asks me about my time as a game guide cuz it THREW me for a loop.

Okay so, my workplace would offer group deals for companies looking to do 'team building exercises'. We have four themed rooms, so all four would be blocked off for their entire company to split up into. This was absolute chaos cuz our place was s m a l l and every time these events happened, it was damn near elbow to elbow.

Anyways, we had an insurance company come in to do the rooms and I was tasked with guiding them through our basketball themed room. This room had two hidden rooms separated by doors you had to solve and unlock. Each one even had its own TV too.

My team comprised of all women and they were pretty quiet, so I had to give them some extra nudges, but otherwise they did well and at the end, really got into the spirit of things! Sadly tho, they didn't break out so I went in to show them how and boy howdy, this is when things get interesting.

One puzzle you have to complete is this brochure with a cross word puzzle. Many people think you have to use this brochure for the entire game, but that's not true. It's a one and done thing. However, these ladies were CONVINCED it was crucial. Anyways, they handed it off to me and this piece of paper is SOAKED. Like, real soggy and its ripping apart. I'm confused because this is the worst state I've ever seen one of our brochures in. Didn't question it, continued to show them everything and ask if they had a good time.

As I'm ushering them up to the front, one lady approaches me and tells me that she panicked in one of the rooms. See, this room is about the 'rules of basketball' and that someone is running in to steal it and you have to find them before this mysterious thief gets it, so the TVs will periodically do emergency broadcasting beeps and have a panicked basketball player telling you you are their only hope. It DOES indeed get people panicked and makes kids cry at times.

So, she continues to tell me she believed the brochure was the actual Rules of Basketball and needed to hide it where no one could find it. At first, the way she worded it, I didn't quite get it till the whole group was done and gone. MY DUDES, SHE STUFFED THE BROCHURE IN HER PANTS.

She was sweating and this brochure had been stuffed next to her cheeks. As with all rooms, we game guides sit in the back watching and hearing the group to give them clues. I watched these people like a hawk, but she sneaked that brochure down her pants with EASE. So, in conclusion, I had a sweaty ripped brochure covered in booty sweat.

Silliest

I got two stories for this category as they are simply silly and light hearted.

The first one is a big family that also did the basketball room. One of these family members is this little girl, who couldn't be much older then like, 5. The adults were in a tizzy trying to figure out the answer to this puzzle, which was a number combo. It's loud and a lot of members are talking over each other, until I hear this little girl just spit out the answer but NO ONE heard her.

In these rooms, there is a small TV up above where I send clues and when I send one, it'll be beep. So I immediately sent them a message 'the little girl just said it! she said the answer!'. The family reads the clue and immediately, ALL the attention is on this little girl. All the adults are like 'What is it? What did you say??' and the girl is NOT prepared for this attention. She's giggling, smiling shyly and saying 'I don't know! I can't remember!' and the adults are scrambling to figure it out.

So, because the whole family was already SO close to breaking out and technically a member of their party DID say the right answer, I repeated what the little girl said to the group and they got the puzzle. It was really funny and a great time.

What running these rooms have taught me is that kids are VERY good at these escape rooms. They can by pass the bullshit and get to the actual puzzles/answers. They just need an adult to keep them focused, that's their only downside. I had SO many kids blurt out what they think the puzzle is and have adults straight up ignore them. So, I'd take the extra step and tell the adults to listen to their kids.

The second silly story is about a group of four who came to do our Y2K inspired room. This room theme was about how you are stuck at a New Years Eve party and its just about to be the year 2000, but its up to YOU to stop the computers from crashing and the world ending. I liked this one cuz you could listen to early 2000's music while the room ran. I always knew I had 3 minutes remaining in the room once Mambo Number 5 played.

Long story short, this group was struggling with a puzzle and one of them suggested to google the answer. Not sure how they would do that, but regardless, I was about to send them a message to NOT do that.

My worry was totally unwarranted, as another from their team blurted out 'You can't do that!! It's the year 2000, phones don't EXIST YET'. Which had both me and the rest of the group cracking up.

WTF Moments

as much as I loved being a game guide, I did experience a lot of fuckery in the rooms.

There is a reason most of the stuff in escape rooms are bolted down. People WILL try to destroy the room. Usually not intentionally, but some shit heads will try to on purpose, even AFTER you tell them to stop. So, sadly I do have quite a few stories.

I had a group of women come in to do our Civil War themed escape room. This room was all dark except for the lanterns you would use to pick them up and see around the room.

I had one lady yank on the portraits on the walls which I told her they do NOT come off. I told her once, she ignored it and continued. I had told her a second time and she STILL didn't heed it and RIPPED the fucker off the wall. This thing was ANCHORED INTO CONCRETE. I don't know how she did it.

Our cameras weren't the best so through the dark, the talking and everything else, I don't think I knew she did this till I came into the room to find the picture on the ground.

In the hidden room there was a pipe that is attached to the wall but is pretty fragile. This same lady kept grabbing it and pulling it at it, in which I had to tell her multiple times to STOP. She finally did after goading from both me and her team mates (her team mates especially because they were catching on that I was only sending them messages about her messing up the room). I was about to kick them out, but thank god she finally stopped.

Another group, two women, got mad at me for penalizing them for being super tardy (this isn't some unspoken rule, its a common rule at most escape rooms and is both posted on our website AND in the lobby). So, they picked every lock open in the Y2K room, messed up the flow of the puzzles, and in turn, didn't break out (womp womp).

Another group of two, a wife and a husband, did our Y2K room as an anniversary activity. The wife was nothing but smiles and was super excited to play. Her demeanor and attitude did a total 180 once the room started.

The husband got to looking at the walls, the decor, the drawers, etc. and was speaking out loud "hey, i think this might be a clue" "hey, I think this might be a puzzle", so on and so forth. She never really replied to these questions, instead ignored him and looked elsewhere. He then began solving these puzzles on his own and opening things up, which sent her into a TIZZY.

All of a sudden, she is getting pissed. "You've done this before haven't you?" "well how did you get that so fast? you done this before!" just over and over. He continued to deny it and would calmly say 'no, I haven't. I just found this and figured it was a puzzle'.

He gets to the secret room all on his own and now she is SUPER mad. Convinced he did this on his own, she sits herself down on a chair and exclaims 'Well, since you've clearly done this room before, I'll just sit here till your done' and crosses her arms.

Well, this is real fuckin awkward and I have....no idea what to say. I had tried to send freebies, but it didn't seem to help ease the tension nor make her any less pissed.

Toward the end, she did sort of try to help, but it was more like angrily stomping from place to place. At one point, she retorts 'I didn't think you would get it. You usually aren't this smart'.

which gob smacked the hell out of me. Holy jesus. This woman was terrible. I was reeeaaally not looking forward to coming into that room to ask them how things went, but ya know, its part of the job.

That's when her demeanor changed AGAIN. I opened up the door and said 'Oooh I'm sorry you guys didn't make it! Did you have fun tho?' and this woman turned to me, beaming and cheerfully saying 'omg yes it was so much fun! Were we close?' and while I was thankful it wasn't horribly awkward, it had me so incredibly confused. The poor guy was quiet but still very kind with me, but I just felt awful for him. If she was like this in an escape room, how was she like behind closed doors at home??

We also had some racist asshats come into our rooms and we had to kick them out and ban them from ever playing again. I wasn't there when this happened, so I don't have the full deets, but like damn dude.

Honorable Mentions and Other Tidbits

I had a group from Australia come in and give me a little nudge nudge, wink wink to tell me their 'coffee' was definitely not coffee. They were awesome.

I had a group forget my name, so they just called me God to ask for clues

On one of my first couple days of work, I looked away from my group for only a few minutes before discovering they had unscrewed and taken the vent cover off in my room. I never typed so fast in my life to tell them THERE ARE NO CLUES THERE OMG PLEASE DON'T STICK YOUR HAND IN THERE

I wasn't there for this, but my co-worker told me a story of a couple who played the basketball room, only for them to break up half way in. They sat on opposite ends of a bench in silence till time ran out

I had several instances of people getting VERY mad at me for giving them freebies.

A lot of people weirdly just...straight refused to pay attention to the TV where I gave clues. This was a bigger problem then I thought it would be for some reason.

If I had to give any tips on going to an escape room, It'd be this:

Be nice to your game guide. This should be a given, but you'd be surprised the amount of times people would forget I can see and hear them and say nasty things about me. If you are kind, you can get yourself some freebies in crucial moments or, in some super rare cases, even get some time added to your room. They WANT you to break out and are just as excited as you when you make it!

When a game guide asks if you have questions, def ask some! There is NO such thing as a dumb question. Escape rooms in of themselves are weird and not many people even know what they really /are/ or what the goal is. I know I was more than happy to answer them if asked. You'll feel better and do better if you ask.

Definitely get there at least 10-15 minutes early. Most escape rooms require you to sign a waiver and the guide has to go over all the rules before it starts, so it just makes it easier on them to keep their rooms on time. Like I said, most places have time penalties if you are late and that's simply to make sure the schedule doesn't get messed up. If you are lucky and the escape room place is small, like ours, you could get away with it, but there were times where even /we/ had to put our foot down and enact the policy.

Thank you so much for asking Mysc!! ^o^ So so sorry its a HUGE WALL of text lmaooo I tell stories in text just like I do irl -- long winded and too much context. But I freaking LOVE telling my stories from my game guide days. It was such a hoot.

[headstrongblake]

the first few days felt crucial to stay with grant. no matter what had happened between the two of them recently, she would never wish him dead. she couldn't. hunter had shown her which wounds were important to watch, and how to help change the dressing because at the time...grant had barely been conscious. but once it felt safe to leave grant alone in his apartment, octavia retreated back to hers in desperate need of new clothes and some essentials. she waited until the middle of the day, hoping bellamy was anywhere but their apartment however, as she walked the lengthy hallway...she forgot to account for nick. bellamy too loud in her mind as he continued to blow up her phone.

emerald hues locked with nick's as he came out of the apartment just down from hers, teeth tugging at her bottom lip, waiting for his reaction. he looked like hell. like he's spent the past few days wallowing in all the dark emotions that gloss his gaze.

after sunday night, octavia's one of the last people nicklas wants to see. not the last...but she's pretty fuckin' close. so when he notices her just by her apartment, no doubt trying to sneak in while blake is not there, half of him screams to turn right around. go back inside. let her do her thing and not engage because despite what she's done, she's still the little kid he's taken care of. but he's been listening less and less to that side lately. instead, nicklas shakes his head, heading down the hallway, but paying octavia no attention.

as nicklas comes near her, all octavia can smell is whiskey. whiskey and stale cigarettes that make her head swim. he doesn't look at her. doesn't speak to her. he doesn't even acknowledge that she's there, sparking annoyance in her gaze. how dare he be mad at her. she is not the one who did anything wrong. if anything, she's the only one, save hunter, out of those men that did anything right. but when he goes to walk past her, octavia's hand darts out to stop him. " what? you're just going to pretend i don't exist? "

every muscle in nick's body tenses as octavia wraps her hand around his arm, but he makes no attempt to pull from her. his head shakes, eyes still forward. " yeah, i'm tryin', wanna help me out with that? " he asked dryly, his free hand plucking her fingers off his jacket before he readjusted himself.

" so it's like that? " she asked, head tilting with an exasperated look on her face. blue eyes snapped toward her, glaring down at her. " yeah, it's like that, octavia. " nick said harshly.

" let me get this straight, you abandon your brother, no, sorry you beat the living hell out of him, let my brother nearly kill him, your supposed friend....i save him from dying so that you don't spend the rest of your life with his blood on your hands and what? that hurt your feelings? pissed you off a bit, made you feel bad about yourself and so you're done with me? " octavia scoffed, shoving her key in the lock before throwing open the door. " screw you, nick. " she tossed over her shoulder.

each response sits on the tip of his tongue, waiting to strike as she tries to cut him with every word she spits. it's only the comment about grant being his brother that he sinks his teeth into. unwilling now to leave the conversation be as he followed into the blake apartment right on her heels. " that's your problem right there! you just say shit without having a fucking clue what you're talking about. just act when no one asks you to. how about you stop tryin' to fix everybody else's shit and you start fixing yours? the trainwreck is going to sit here and judge me? you don't know shit about me and him. " nicklas ranted, following her every step of the way while she refused to stop moving, and packing, irritating him further.

" oh please, " octavia laughed stiffly, " don't, don't try and tell me i don't see what i see. " octavia said, shoving more clothes into a bag of hers. nick could lie to a lot of people. he did as far as she was aware, and much like grant, he didn't talk about his life before this place. but while nick might have constantly been watching them all while he served drinks behind the comfort of his bar, octavia was watching him. had been since he swooped in like some hero out of one of bell's books. he might've got on her nerves and pushed all the worst trigger points but...it was only because she had missed her own brother so deeply. she's been watching him with hopeful eyes since he became her brother.

green eyes watched nicklas try to deny it, could see the anger and hurt that warred with each other in his eyes before octavia bent down, looking for something beneath her bed. " what're you doing? " nick asked, head shaking as he watched her.

as octavia stood up and turned towards nicklas, she held up a sketchbook from the dollar store, " lie to me all you want, lie to yourself, but i know you care about him. you care about all of us. " she said, opening the book wide as she set it on her bed. inside were dozens of photos in different media. some printed photos, some polaroids. octavia had meant to get a proper album for them all. to sort through them properly instead of having a few sketchbooks beneath her bed but, it worked. she flipped through a few pages until finally she came across the one she was searching for. her finger pointed to the photo of grant and nicklas' side profiles. grant sitting at the bar top while nicklas was in mid-pour of a drink. it's simple. ordinary. but they both have genuine smiles and when octavia looks at the photo, she can hear nick's laugh.

nicklas reached forward to take the book from her but instead she laid it out on her bed, his mouth snapping shut. eyes widened as octavia flipped through the book, feet slowly taking steps forward as he peered over her shoulder. her life was inside this book. everyone. sure, he knew that she was always snapping photos but this...he squinted to look at them as they passed quickly. although, his mouth instantly ran dry as she pointed out the photo of him and grant. instead of arguments, and rebuttals, nicklas fell quiet, studying the photo.

" you may hate him right now...but, " octavia shrugged as she pulled her backpack on, leaving the sketchbook exposed on the bed. " you know what they say about that, such a thin line between love and hate, " she said, staring at the way nicklas moved towards the album, finger reaching out to trace the image. if anyone understood that, especially with grant, it was her. nicklas couldn't lie to her, because she knew what that look in his eye meant. he loved grant, so much that the love itself and all the choices grant makes hurt. " you all are wrong. now fix it. " with that, octavia left nicklas alone in her room.

/ @thewholecrew

[talesofmetalandmagic]

"A waste of time"

Azir was called that many times, during his life. Despite being a lover of studies he was never meant for wisdom, and Nasus himself welcomed his presence at the libraries more for a passion project than for any future as a scholar.

He was fast and passionate and always curious, but putting things in the correct order escaped him. Again, like the little girl from Fantasia 2000.

See, some people (= boomers, like Their Imperial Majesties) are of the idea that people shouldn't do things because they like them. They should strive to be the best, put their life on the line for them, and damn any expectation that's not perfectly fulfilled.

Xerath was always comforting Azir because it was his duty, and because at that time he truly believed there was a level of care from the little prince towards him. But when it came to this department, it was also healing for himself. He too, coming from his own background, needed to heal from being seen as a thing, and finding purpose in leisure and passion just like... well, just like anyone.

They'd spend clandestine nights reading in Azir's bed – Xerath would sleep in a cot right next to it, as he also served as a bodyguard and sometimes even a body double decoy – stuffing their faces with dates and candy, and he always made a point to tell Azir he was good, he was not wasting his time, all that mattered is that he was doing his best.

~ ~ ~

Now that Xerath wields the reins of power, the lesson he imparts upon Azir is quite different. Azir must serve, so he may live. If Azir doesn't fulfill his purpose he can only thank Xerath's infinite kindness for being alive, wasting everybody's resources with his abject idiocy.

Azir, being an Emperor, has never built a temple before. He tries his best, following the simple instructions that Xerath gives him and focusing more on losing his thoughts in the task tham on anything that may hurt him.

Seeing the temple rise is a glimmer of hope for the captive Emperor – the taller it gets, the more content Xerath will be, the sooner he'll be let go. Sivir will be so glad to see him again... and Nasus, poor dear, he'll be screaming his name into the dunes already. He cannot make them wait, they need him and he needs them. Imperial synergy.

"Azir."

Xerath has manifested himself right behind him, like a wisp, or like he's gone off to imitate Fiddlesticks to taste even more power.

"Does this look like a temple, to you?"

"I think so, my lord."

"The fact that you think it looks good shows that it, in fact..."

Go away, stay back... Azir raises his hands in a bird-like parody of a boxer's stance. He's never even learned how to boxe, and he knows all too well it wouldn't work on a mage as powerful as Xerath, but it's the best he can do in his situation.

"...it does NOT..."

No, Xerath, don't you dare do this to me. He can agree that the columns aren't the same width, or that some stones do in fact protrude from them... and even that the last he built looks crucially diagonal compared to the others. But Xerath cannot expect an emperor to know how to build with stone. They did not teach him that. It's not what he is.

"...even RESEMBLE good, Azir."

"I apologize." He knows the formula: bows his head, offers his hands for the caning. "I'm a stupid fool, I'm a..." He wishes to bite Xerath when he forces him to say it. "I'm a waste of time. I accept any punishment, my lord"

"Indeed you are, Azir. You're a waste of time, a waste of space, a waste of breath. Imagine, once you called yourself an Emperor."

Because I am the emperor. "But punishing you wouldn't work. Your poor parents tried punishing you all your life, yet your immense imbecility proved itself a foe too strong. What we do, to pieces who don't work... is put them to use. I've learned this way before other things I would have preferred."

Xerath has a strange spell towards Azir. He hates him, he hates him so much he could brawl him for as thousand years like poor Renekton did, he would spit on all his portraits and stamp upon his grave... but when he brings up his own pain, a pain that doesn't even exist as a figment of imagination inside the imperial walls, whatever sliver of tenderness remains within the ex Emperor's heart seems to quiver at instinct.

If we could just... just talk. If I could understand...

"So, Azir." One of his underlings climbs atop the stairs of the cave, holding onto a standard wooden pick. "Now you will tear them all down"

"...what?"

He falls back down on earth, numb, hazed, and Xerath looks as if he's about to explode. "This idiot... I gave you an order. Take this pick and tear every single one of these columns down. May nothing but dust be left when you're done."

"My lord, no." How much time will it take... months, maybe years. Azir feels dizzy just as the thought. Sivir is not an Ascended, she'll grow old like everybody else, and she may never find out he's there – waiting, hoping, staining the good name of Omah with every new day in ruins.

"You speak back to me, Azir? Yet again"

He stretches his back, facing him head on. "It may take eons, my lord. And I cannot..."

Xerath slaps him in the face, but he was ready to take it. He knows now Xerath's finest blades are those of the mind. And for those he braces, as his tormentor speaks again.

"Eons... you dramatic simpleton, I loathe you so much. But even if it was eons, we have all the time in the world, and eons would in fact be barely enough for you to pay for what you did. Now go to work, and spare me your squawking: tonight, for your insolence, you won't receive your supper and you'll be caned ten times on each palm. Goodbye for now, Azir: you endless, unrepentant waste of time."

And like a nightmare, he's gone in a flash.

With tears of frustration in his eyes, his back feeling as if it could break, beak already full of dust, craving nothing more than to be put back in his cage and hood so he can reflect upon his situation and find some sense in the paradoxes of pain that pursue him, Azir chops ahead. Dust falls onto his tattered feathers, sticking to his sweaty skin, and is so coarse to the taste he cannot even speak.

[chaoticfandomgirly]

I don't know why I am writing this but I am kind of sick of the Man vs Bear thing that's come up on social media and I am really tired of men completely missing the point.

But ladies, I gotta be honest, if it's just one man, you have a lot of power. I was lucky enough to learn some self-defense in an all girls school. So, God forbid if anyone finds themselves in a situation where you don't actually have the choice for a bear, just know you aren't completely powerless because the first step to have a man control us is fearing them. And it might be justified, still, having just enough courage comes a long way.

Here's some basic self-defense tips:-

1) if your wrist is grabbed, DO NOT try to tug fruitlessly. Instead, use your free hand to pull your locked hand from the space between the thumb and the fingers of the other person's hand. It's the WEAKEST POINT in the grip. Use it!

2) if both hands are grabbed, don't be shy to kick it where it hurts the most and use that second to pull away. As soon as you do, and if the person is bent down, don't hesitate to shove their head into the ground.

3) Do not falter! All you need is a second at most to gain the upper hand. So use your heel to dig into their foot as hard as you can, spit into their eyes, bite- use your teeth, don't be afraid to tear flesh. Use what you have in hand, that includes keys, umbrella and even your nails. A few broken nails will help you in the long run...draw blood if you need to!

4) Do not be afraid to plunge your fingers into their eyes. And clapping your hands forcefully against the ears can make them deaf, give them concussion or even cause brain damage. Hitting below the neck with the side of your hand in a knife like motion also helps.

5) Never ever stop struggling! Make it count. Be vigilant from the start and use your full energy to buy you time before anything progresses. The first few minutes are crucial always.

While, I thank God and my lucky stars for never making me be in a situation like this, I do know these advices are easier given than followed. But it's how your flight or fight response kicks in that's important and I know that it's common to become paralysed in such situations. Still, being aware comes a long way. Just a few seconds of being conscious of what you need to do can have the ball be in your court. I hope this post will never be needed for all the readers in the first place. But in case it is, it might just mean a lot.

[pynkhues]

I feel very uncomfortable abt the Fred Astaire biopic given he absolutely did not want one to happen and was extremely clear about that. If it ends up happening I will 100% think less of everyone involved including Tom, it is a sign of extreme disrespect imo and Tom does not need the money it is just a fuck you I can do what I want, akin to spitting on FA's grave.

I think the problem with Tom Holland isnt his agent because lets be real, his agent and team are excellent. I think from interviews etc Tom is not that interested in film as an art form, doesn't seem aware of indie or foreign directors doing interesting work, and is pretty anti-intellectualism in general. So when he tries to "go indie" he tries to go for projects that seem gritty or interesting on paper, but end up flopping and coming across "THIS IS ACTING, TAKE ME SERIOUSLY." Tom has the power to approach indie directors he likes and get movies funded for him to star in like Robert Pattinson with Safdies, Claire Denis, etc etc. But Tom is not the type to know who Claire Denis is. He should work with someone like Jeremy Saulnier, that is my advice to him lol

I totally respect your uncomfortable feelings about it as a topic, anon! You're right, Astaire was clear about not wanting a bio pic on his life, because he - in his own words - never wanted to feel misrepresented, and any adaptation or exploration of his life as a result feels inherently disrespectful of that wish.

At the same time though - - I don't know. I guess I tend to have two questions about a bio pic, which is a) what is its purpose? and b) who's it for?

(Full disclaimer: I don't disagree with you - I just also have mmm, a mixed bag of feelings on the topic, I guess, haha.)

So let's talk a little about bio pics

Because it's an interesting conversation, right? They've always been a staple of filmmaking, both for better and for worse, and I do think they vary a lot as a genre. Some of them are naked mouthpieces for the individual or their estate, some are ways to enshrine or disparage an historical figure, some are about capitalising on a current popular trend, some are ways to explore a historical movement or era, to lend it greater understanding or cultural context through a particular person, or to keep an important figure from being forgotten or remembered in a way people with a vested interest might not want them to be remembered, and hell, sometimes I think a bio pic is just about telling an interesting story.

Does intent matter? Yeah, I think so, and I can understand why, in that context, intent can feel immediately malicious when the person a story is based on or inspired by was against the idea, but I don't necessarily think that's automatically the case.

I guess, in that sense, that brings it back to who a bio pic is for. I actually tend to think bio pics are at their worst when they're for the person they're about. Like, I enjoyed Elvis as a piece of entertainment, but as a bio pic it fails on more counts than it doesn't, in no small part because it was for Elvis. It was for his legacy, his daughter and grandchildren, his diehard, uncritical fans, and, in my more cynical moments, for Graceland too. It was about reinforcing a legacy instead of truly exploring it.

And exploring it is important. Good bio pics can help to shed more light and bring a deeper understanding to crucial moments and figures in history, and how someone wants to be represented or understood in that I don't think is entirely their decision. We don't exist in a vacuum; our stories, our histories, the roles we play in the world, aren't ours alone to dictate the terms of. We play roles in other peoples lives, from those who know us, and in the case of many public figures, those who know of them, and to make the decision unilaterly that our legacy can't be explored beyond us is I think both naive and potentially dangerous.

I don't know. It is complicated, and I'm not even saying that I'm entirely comfortable either with the fact that it's happening, especially given there are two Astaire bio pics in the works right now (ironically the other one's cast Jamie Bell, which is kind of funny from a Billy Elliot trivia standpoint), but like I said in my last post, I don't know if I believe that Astaire's wishes should stand so resolutely as others. After all, the law doesn't recognise that stipulation, and if it did, what would there be to stop other people using that as a sort of media gag to prevent critical bio pics that challenge the legacy of a public figure i.e. the counter point to Elvis being able to be this year's Priscilla?

I guess I'm saying that our histories might feel like a thread that belongs to us, but they're ones stitched into the fabric of time and of culture. They inform relationships and families, and in Astaire's case an artform and an industry, and to me, I don't think that means that he owes anyone more than what he gave in his lifetime, but I do think a version of his story lives beyond him - both in the lives he touched and the culture he influenced - and for better and for worse, that's not something he'll ever have complete control over.

Let's talk about Tom Holland

I agree and I disagree on this front - as a total cinephile, I truly feel the pain of him not having known who Pedro Almodóvar was in that one interview, haha, but I don't necessarily think that's an issue. After all, it's literally what he has an agent and a manager for. They should be looking at talent across the board and guiding him towards people they think he'd work well with, especially given he has worked with indie directors before - like, gosh, Kornél Mundruczó was the establishing director on The Crowded Room, and Antonio Campos directed The Devil All the Time.

But you're right - the projects aren't right, and I don't think that it helps that he doesn't seem to be well versed in cinema enough to be able to articulate what it is that he likes and doesn't like, and I also don't think that it helps that he skews young and doesn't really match the styles of the directors he's said he wants to work with (Tarantino in particular I think he doesn't fit the type for, but in looking up a couple of things to reply to your ask, I found out he did meet with Bong Joon Ho last year who I actually think could be a good fit for him).

I like your picks for directors a lot though! I think you're right about Jeremy Saulnier in particular. and while I'm not his biggest fan, I think Justin Kurzel could have a really interesting role for him in that sort of similarly masculinity-soaked indie vein. I also think (and gosh, these aren't even that indie these days, haha) Alex Garland, Karyn Kusama, Dan Gilroy and Marielle Heller would be interesting directors for him.

And while they're not indie, I do also think he'd do well in a Coen Brothers or a Baz Luhrmann.

But who knows at this point. He certainly runs the risk of being Peter Parker forever right now.

[traegics]

It was exhausting constantly defending herself, defending the things she did, and her patience was starting to become very much nonexistent. Fear was the last thing she had ever wanted to instill in others and yet they pushed and pushed until that was all that remained to use. As her sister spoke again, a cold, dark laugh eased from the blonde's lips, head shaking as a hard set look fell on the other witch. "I act like the villain because I am given no other choice," Everleigh retorts sharply. "Because you and Dex and everybody else need someone to put all the blame on but the truth is Sabrina- You're all fucking cowards. I do the things that are necessary whether they're morally acceptable or not because this is more than just us it's an entire world, entire community of people. One loss is better than an entire supernatural eradication. I'm sorry that I'm not perfect and pristine. I'm sorry that I'm not the definition of perfect but you know what, Sabrina? At least I can say that I tried my best, that I did everything I could regardless of how it ends. I aligned myself with them because infiltrating them is our best chance and the only way that we stay once step ahead of them." There's a roll of cerulean hues, a scoff falling from her lips as her palms remained flat against the tabletop. "Oh quit with the stupid, naive act, Sabrina," thewitch snaps. "This is war, bloodshed is inevitable for both sides regardless of the dead that I've brought back but by bringing the dead back I also brought back some of our biggest and most crucial allies. The Mikaelson's. Open your eyes. What I'm doing is nothing even remotely close to what the OEA is doing." There's a low growl that rises in Everleigh's chest, palms rising to slam firmly against the table once more to silence the younger Lewis sister. "Marni is anything but stupid," she spat. "She understands, she agrees, she sees the entire picture that we are creating and one day when I am no longer to lead our coven, it will be hers and she will be a hell of a leader because she knows what needs to be done for the greater good of everybody."

Her gaze narrows dangerously, head shaking as golden curls bounce with each movement. At this point, Everleigh could barely feel her heart beating in her chest, a coldness having begun to freeze the organ in it's place and as the tears fell down her younger sister's features, she felt nothing. The betrayal, the truth of what Sabrina really felt about her, it had done it's job and created a cold monster. "You see that's where you're wrong," Everleigh speaks, tone low, cold and even, not a beat missed as her head tilts to the side and a cold smile pulls across her lips. "We won't all die because I've thought of every single step and come up with at least 3 different back ups in case one should fail which it won't. You never asked, you never wanted to know the entire plan and now you don't have the privilege to know any of it because you and I? We're done, Sabrina. I have been so incredibly nice, I have pushed my feelings down for the sake of you and Marni, I have played the good older sister and tried to keep your hands from having to be dirtied, to protect you and all you do is spit in my face, call me a bitch and a villain with only a part of the story." There's a moment where she pauses as Sabrina speaks again and her gaze falls to her hands, hands that were spoiled in the blood of those she had killed, the blood of her parents, of Juri and for a moment she can feel a sharp pain in her chest, the weight of it all heavier than she had ever imagined before she shakes her head. "I hear myself just fine," the witch states with a quick clearing of her throat. "Each death, each sacrifice has been necessary. I have tried to keep the deaths to people that weren't innocent but even when I can't those sacrifices will be considered heroes, brave souls who gave their lives for the greater good of all supernatural kind. Do not speak like you know what I've been through. You don't know the half of it. My soul hasn't been whole since I was 17 and our parents are too blame for that, not me. I can live with what I'm doing, with the crimson that covers my hands because this new world order that I am building with those that I have chosen will mean that thousands, millions others survive." A scoff falls from her lips as once more ocean hues roll in her sister's direction. "You mean the system that you know nothing about," Everleigh counters harshly. "The system that your judging without knowing a damn thing about it." And then her heart plummets in her chest, eyes reflecting the pain that her words brought with them. "Do you really think that lowly of me," she questions, a quiver to her voice as she shakes her head. "I'm not trying to rule the supernatural's. This isn't about punishing those that have turned their backs on me or stole a stupid fucking pen from me, it's about a system that can hold the supernatural accountable and again I won't be the only person making this decision. There will be two leaders from each species of supernatural."

Her gaze pulls away from her sister, heavy sigh releasing from her lips as her head shakes again. "Are you not listening to anything I'm saying? You know what? This is actually fucking pointless. I'm done defending myself to you of all people. You believe what you want about me, I don't really care anymore. Your mind is clearly mad and I am the big bad villain of your story. Congrats, Sabrina you fucking win but don't come crawling back to me when you finally realize the truth." It was nearly impossible to contain the tears that broke past dark lashes, hand rising off the table to silence her, heart shattered in pieces within her chest. "No, Sabrina, you've made it adamantly clear that I'm the bad guy, the bitch with a god complex when all I've ever wanted is to protect the people I loved. You can't take back anything that you've said, it's out there now, I know how you truly feel about me so I'm sorry but I- I can't take it back. This isn't about you turning your back on me, it's not about you not wanting to be a part of my plan... This is about you and me, about how you think about me, how I can't even look at you without the reminder that everything that I have done to keep you safe means absolutely shit to you. You will never know the true extent of the things that I've done to keep you safe." Like killing our parents. "I am happy for you, so happy that you've figured out who you are and what you want, that you're happy but that doesn't mean that you can sit here and judge me, make me feel like shit for the things that I've done without knowing the reasons, without knowing everything. A sister would never judge you, never abandon you, never make you feel like this."

she bit the inside of her cheek, she knew she was over stepping, pushing the wrong buttons but she felt as if she could speak so freely. it felt as if she could spread her wings and not be under the influence of her sisters power. others were scared to leave her side and yet, Sabrina was glad she took the leap. “because you act like the villain.” she spoke in response to her sisters question. “because you chose to go down this path, to behave like a villain. you aligned yourself with them.” a pause and a sigh escaping her lips. she knew there was no way that everleigh saw her villainous nature, but that was what most villains would do, always say that everything they were doing was for the greater good. maybe her sister was right, if she had been leader, maybe the coven would’ve burnt but at least that way her hands wouldn’t be stained in crimson hues. “yes, they were brought back but at what cost? more bloodshed had been littering the streets since then because of what you-we did. because we are just like the oea and it is stupid for you not to see that.” she spoke in barely a whisper, tears burning her eyes. they would forever be monsters now. “and marni was stupid for doing that, she’s just a sheep like i was. she will turn on you sister once she see’s the insanity of what you are planning.” she hoped for it, she hoped that marni would leave everleigh side before things got worse, before there was a chance that she would get hurt. “and if you didn’t want to hurt us, you would think on whatever ridiculous plan you have in mind because that will kill us all, we know that will happen.” a pause for a moment as she wiped the falling tears from her eyes. a sour chuckle escaped her lips as she heard that there was more sacrifices had to be made for her plan to work. “can you not here yourself? Because we know that most of the items you need from the supernaturals will either kill them or cause a serious amount of pain? haven’t you already got enough blood on those hands? Have you not already felt your soul rip every time you hurt someone and yet, you still want to do it? because I do, it’s why I left because my soul could not be split into anymore pieces because if it did I might as well be dead.” eyes looking out of the window for the moment. “and this system your on about is probably worse than the oea, at least they are honest in killing us all of. So with this system, let me guess I would end up in whatever hell your planning on because I turned against you and that Betty girl from 3rd grade would end up there because she stole your favourite pen during English?” eyebrow raised for a moment. “because if that is the case, you’re playing god and that is worse than what the oea do.” more tears falling from her ocean hues. “i would rather be taken down by the oea than go on trial and imprisoned in this idea of a world you have. you just don’t see how insane and how reckless it is. no one deserves to play god at all.” a soft, quiet sigh escaped her lips. a silent sob catching at the back of her throat as she heard the words you are no longer my sister, her heart shattering into a million pieces on the spot. “ev…” she spoke barely in a whisper, trying to gain a control of the ever growing sadness. “please don’t say that, i am and will always be your sister…same with marni. this is just a difference in opinion and i haven’t abandoned you. you will always have me but i cannot stand for this plan because my soul is already broken…” she trailed off for a moment. “please take it back, please allow us to be sisters because I will always love you, I will always be there to protect you..I just can’t go along with this god complex of an idea… but if that’s it, if that’s the straw that has broken this relationship then it really shows you never cared for me. a sister should be happy for the other, should be happy that I’ve found a grounding in my life. that I am becoming my own woman and i actually enjoy what i’m doing right now. yes, i do not support your idea and i never will but i will always be happy and want the best for you.”

[miseries-mistress]

PLEASE | CASSIAN ANDOR

Synopsis: You were beyond enraged, the feeling poisonously filling your chest, expanding and reaching into the far stretches of your mind until you're consumed by it. Cassian lied. It's not like he hasn't done it practically thousands of times but never to you, never to you. That was the promise he made, the only promise he made, and he just broke it. 

Warnings: brief mention of the reader being female, MAJOR EP 2 SPOILERS, angst, all angst, absolutely zero fluff, more angst, did i say angst? oh yeah, don't forget angst. W/C: 1410

Notes: in honor of the andor series, i wanted to write something about this fine ass man. keep in mind i am also very sick rn so don't expect too much. reposting this shit

star wars masterlist

"What's this?" You slam the holopad on the table, fuming while Cassian flinches. Physically flinches. You look almost delighted at the reaction you elicited from him.

"What is this?" you spit out, and his gaze darts around each corner of the room like he's afraid of an onlooker in your own home. He doesn't need to look at it to know precisely what you are talking about; a product of just receiving the information from his mother and Bee. Cassian knew very well that he messed up by exposing his true origin but never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that you would find out about who he really was like this. 

"How did you find that?" He resists the urge to step back when your fury seems to double, but you don't lash out. Instead, you turn to a piercing rage, one that petrifies him and breaks him more proficiently than any white-hot rage ever could. What makes it worse is he was planning on telling you. His past was something he never wanted to hide from you, and while he had his reservations at first about letting you into his life, you seemed to worm your way into it and, in the process, his abandoned heart. As time passed, he got used to having someone else by his side, someone he could simultaneously love and trust unconditionally. It took a weight he didn't know he was carrying off his sagging shoulders, but there was one thing, one thing that hung over his head like a dark cloud, his past. 

He admired how you never pushed him to open up about it, willing to be there when he was ready to share despite the questions that would arise when you caught him talking to Bix either about dealings in the past that involved him with numerous things that linked to it or mentions of it. But today, his luck had run out, and he was here to face the callous, cruel fist of reality he tried so desperately to hide from.

"Bix told me," you seethe, gripping the pad a bit tighter. "She was surprised I didn't know."

Of all the ways you could have found out, that was for sure the least desirable. Hearing the news, as crucial as this is, from another person is one of the worst ways you could learn it because it suggests either a lack of trust or faith. Which is entirely false. Cassian trusted you implicitly with every fiber of his being, and it wasn't a lack of confidence that brought this on. It was his own complacent mindset that he assumed he would tell you when he deemed the time right, not when his life had been flipped upside down. As you turned your icy glare upon him, he felt a piece of his heart rupture. 

"She also mentioned," you grit your teeth together, your eyes failing to meet his, "that I'm the first woman you've never told about your past."

He sucked in a breath, silently cursing Bix. Fuck. 

"You're the first person I've ever been truly serious about–"

"Bullshit Cassian! Why didn't you tell me?!" you exclaim, but your words are deadly, and Cassian would have to be a fool not to realize that. This was dangerous territory he was trekking in. One wrong move, and– well, he would rather not think about it, for the pain of it would be too great to bear. 

"I was planning to tell you, if that matters."

"When were you going to tell me?! When you were on the run?! When it benefited you?!"

"That's not true," he reached out, attempting to place his hand on your shoulder, a calming gesture you were fond of, but you slapped his hand away. The cracks grew wider, slowly chipping away at his reality and his attachment to it.

"Damnit, Cassian, do you not trust me?!"

"I trust you with my life–" he's stumbling over his sentences now, his craft for talking his way out of situations failing him when he needed it the most.

"Obviously not," you scoff. You move to turn away, but an iron grasp pulls you forward and into Cassian's chest. You place your hand against it, desperately trying to ignore the feeling of stiff muscles beneath his clothing as you push away. Cassian doesn't relent, maintaining his steel hold while you fruitlessly struggle against him. 

"Let go of me," you warn, giving an experimental tug, but to no avail, as you don't budge.

"Let me explain."

"That's rich coming from you."

"Please." Your breath catches in your throat at the utter desperation in his voice while Cassian's mind runs a mile per minute. All he's consumed with is the thought of not losing you. He can't imagine living in a world where you resent him after he opened his heart to feel after years of repressing emotion after emotion. Instead, he feels the cracks in his heart widen, chunks breaking off and slowly breaking him as well. 

"I've wanted to tell you. I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I've just never found the right moment."

"Then why does Bix know, hmm?" Now that was a far trickier question to answer, one which opened doors to parts of his soul he's closed off to the outer world. The answer was far too complex for such a simple question. 

You mistake his silence as his answer and scoff, yanking your arm from his limp grasp, the faintest touches of his skin leaving a phantom imprint on your own. 

"You're unbelievable." Another crack, this time it splits, creating more crevices, more pieces he's afraid he will be left to pick up alone. 

"Don't go." He sounds pathetic. He knows it, and so do you. 

"Trust goes both ways, and you've just lost mine." 

Shatter. 

Cassian's heart fucking shatters into a thousand minuscule pieces. Why can't he stop you, the only real good in his miserable, horrible excuse of a life, from leaving? Why can't he explain?

Logically he knows both of your emotions are running high, and your responses are feeding into each other's emotions, making them spiral out of control. 

Trust goes both ways, and you've just lost mine. Your words rang loudly like an endless song of suffering orchestrated just for him. 

You storm to the front door, not to your room like you do whenever you get into an argument, but to the door. You yank your coat off the rack, shrugging it over your shoulders without sparing Cassian a glimpse. In the midst of the climax of your relationship, he can't help but long for your soft eyes, filled with unbridled love while holding their own untamed, wild passion that he often found within himself instead of the darkness and rage that clouded them over. He yearned for the warmth of your touch, your partially calloused hands running over his scared skin while bringing out a vulnerability he didn't know he possessed. He just wanted whatever you would give him, addicted to your smile, smell, and love so much, so it blinded him. 

Cassian knows this is his only chance to explain, to get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness, but he can't move, think, or feel anything. It's all the same void of nothingness penetrating his senses.

The door opens. 

Cassian feels like you're stepping on the shards of his heart, breaking them further to a point he feels is no return. 

"Please," a last desperate beg. All Cassian wants is to take you into his arms and wrap them around you, explaining everything before you become a whisp in the wind. 

Please.

The door shuts.

[soobrat]

for you; ksw

part i | part ii

pairing; dom!sunwoo x sub afab!reader

words; 4.6k

genre; friends to lovers, smut, angst, touch of fluff

warnings; praise & degradation (try not to get whiplash), references to part i's dubcon, use of daddy, prone bone position, face fucking, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, use of pet names (baby & baby girl), cum eating, rough sex, spanking, choking, hair pulling, slight possessiveness... let me know if I missed anything

preface; I think the beginning of this is wonky but I love how the smut portion turned out tbh. Also no, this part isn't in first person. I tried it out for a couple works and decided I didn't like it at all.

It was supposed to be a one time thing. He wasn't supposed to think about it anymore. But after seeing your glances his way during this party, he couldn't help it. All he could do was think about you looking up at him while you choked on his cock. All your little pretty noises, too. You sounded so desperate to get fucked. God, the things he'd do to make sure that happens. But with his cock, not Sangyeon's. Just because he developed feelings for you first didn't mean shit. He doesn't own you. You're a big girl that can make your own decisions. And all this looking his way has him curious...

Sangyeon walked in moments after he cleaned up. He suspected him of course, it was written all over Sunwoo's face. 

"Did you do something weird when I was gone?" He looks at Sunwoo with suspicion in his eyes as he grabs his phone. The unlocked device causes a deep red to flood his face. "W-were my texts open this whole time?!"

Sunwoo shrugs, sending him a cautious glance before pulling out his own phone.

"Fuck... ___ sent me another text while I was coming back." He shakes his head as he rapidly texts you back. "She must've been so confused." 

When he heard Sangyeon's car outside, Sunwoo started to panic. Then Sangyeon's phone buzzed and he started to stress about if you somehow found out. So he unlocked it and checked. Thankfully, you were just asking about something you left in his car. Relieved, he starts to lock his phone again. When you text a confused "Hello??" Sunwoo remember something crucial. Read receipts. Sangyeon assumed something else entirely, so Sunwoo was in the clear for now.

But if Sangyeon didn't catch on, why were your stares getting progressively angrier? Did Sangyeon finally put the pieces together before telling you as well? 

Sunwoo doesn't know what he would do if you found out. He hasn't actually thought about the consequences of his actions. Everyone would probably think he was a horrible person. More importantly, you'd never forgive him. Any chances he had to make you his would disappear as if they never existed to begin with. Sunwoo could feel the guilt tightening in his chest. When you started making your way over to him, he was already prepared to apologize for something he wasn't even sure you were aware of. 

"Hey-"

"Upstairs. Now." You bark the directions as you breeze past him. He stands there, frozen. Shit... was he actually right? He hadn't prepared for this. Nonetheless, he still follows behind you, heart pounding in his chest. He should've drank a lot more than he had. You shove a door open, spitting at the people inside to get out. After they scurry out he shuts the door behind him.

"I should really air your ass out, you know that?" You rush toward Sunwoo, fire blazing in your eyes. 

"Can you please calm down and explain why we're up here." He whispers as if anyone could hear you over the blaring music anyway. You laugh in disbelief before your scowl makes a reappearance.

"Don't stand there and act like I'm the strange one. You're the one that invaded my privacy."

All this thinking with his dick had finally caught up to him. His heart drops. Sunwoo stammers, looking for an excuse to spare his image. "I think there's been a misunderstanding. What is this about? Could you please just explain it to me?" He pleads with you desperately. 

"You fucking know what this is about. Do you really think I don't know you saw that video?" You narrow your eyes at him, seeming as though you were talking to the dumbest person on the planet. His heart felt like it would fall out of his ass at this point.

"What video?!"

"The fucking video I sent Sangyeon, Sunwoo!" You shout, shoving him by his shoulders.

"I don't know anything about a video!"

"You're still fucking lying? I know you were over his house that day!"

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about, but when he came back he said something about leaving his messages open. I don't know anything else." He lets a bit of annoyance slip through in his voice to cover up the overwhelming dread. Sunwoo would probably be in less shit right now if he had just apologized to you from the moment he closed the door. He should be on his knees begging for forgiveness. Instead, he's lying to your face and making you think you're annoying him by rightfully suspecting him. It felt horrible, but his self-preservation was kicked into high gear.

"Oh yeah? Is that why my messages came up as read?" You cross your arms, anger deflating a bit. Sunwoo nods cautiously. "So explain why it didn't change immediately?" You ask, tilting your head to the side slightly.

Sunwoo stands there, jaw slack as he tries hard to think of a response. A pathetic "What?" is all he can muster to fill the silence.

"I sent the message and stared at the screen. I was waiting for him to respond because I needed my headphones for work. Sunwoo, the read receipt didn't change until a full minute later. He didn't answer so I texted again because I knew someone had to have seen it. Then Sangyeon texts back saying he left his phone at home and just came in the door. I was confused until I remember him telling me you were at his house. You fucking creep."

Sunwoo's mouth goes completely dry, heart slowing down so drastically he feared it would stop. He struggled to steady his breathing or gather his thoughts. It was over, there was nothing else he could do.

"Listen, I'm so so sorry for what I did. It was so wrong and I'm so sorry." He rushes closer to you and grabs your wrists, pulling you toward him in an attempt to appeal to you. "Fuck- I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry." He clenches his eyes shut. This was it, he ruined everything. All to jerk off to a stupid video.

"That's something we can agree on." You rip your arms away from him to drag him by his shirt. 

"What are you-"

"Shut the fuck up and sit down." You shove him toward the bed and he collapses onto it. It's too dark to really tell, the only light coming from a pathetic excuse of a lamp, but he could've sworn he saw hunger in your eyes. 

"Spare me your apologies. You're not sorry. You're sorry you go caught." You spat, walking until your legs were settled between his. "You sat there and lied to my face. And what if I believed you? Your dirty little secret would've stayed as just that. A secret. Your sick ass would've gotten away with it."

You were right. You were fucking right about everything and he hated to admit it. "God, I'm a fucking piece of shit." He buries his head in his hands, not able to look at you anymore.

"Right again." A smile threatens to form as you tsk at him.

"That's why I chose Sangyeon."

He slowly looks up from his hands at you. You've given up on hiding your shit-eating grin. "All the rest of you idiots are so immature and none of you ever treated me right, except for him."

"What I did was really, really fucked up, but I never ever did anything to hurt you." He points out. Sunwoo was in no position to defend himself, but he just couldn't help it. Your words settle like bricks inside his stomach.

"What do you think you're doing right now? Need I remind you what you fucking did?" You drive your finger into his chest. Sunwoo's mouth snaps shut, you have a point. The action seemingly sours your expression.

"So do you agree? Sangyeon deserves me more than any of you." You tilt your head to the side again. He feels his blood pressure start to rise. "And I mean any of you. Especially you, Kim Sunwoo."

"Is this really necessary?" He says abruptly, narrowing his eyebrows at you. That smile reappears on your face.

"What? Is this bothering you? It's only what you deserve." The smile ceases again, snuffed out and replaced with a patronizing look of pity. You reach your hand toward his face to caress it but he moves away. "Aw... does Sunwoo not like it when I talk about Sangyeon?"

"It's not like that."

"Isn't it? So you won't mind if I told you Sangyeon takes me out on dates every Sunday and treats me like a princess? Would you mind if I told you he asked me out?"

He clenched his jaw tightly until that last line. His mouth fell open slightly, eyes wide as he looked at you. You just smile back like you're enjoying his shock. "What did you say..." The words come out of his mouth before he could process them in his brain.

"I said yes. He's my boyfriend now."

He couldn't stop his expression from hardening. He quickly tries to soften it again, flaring his nostrils in the process. It's no use, he just need to leave before whatever was growing inside of him took over. "You know what? I don't even care. You can tell everyone." He mutters, glaring at you as he stands up from the bed. You make that face again, like you don't approve of his reaction. He rolls his eyes and makes his way to the door.

"You're such a fucking coward. You would rather jerk off to a recording of me than come and fuck me like a man? Pathetic." You yell after him. He freezes, jaw tensing as he turns around. 

"I fucking get it. You can stop grilling me now."

"Jesus Christ, you still don't actually get it, do you? After all this time you still don't get it?" You shout in disbelief, ending your sentence with a dry laugh. "Sangyeon understood perfectly. If he didn't act first, someone else would."

"Okay! Enough with all the Sangyeon! Sangyeon, Sangyeon, Sangyeon!" He shouts angrily. 

"You want me to stop talking about Sangyeon? Then stop being so fucking dense." You tap your finger against your head frustratedly, "Do you really think I tell every guy when I fantasize about sucking their dick?" You wait for him to answer, but it never comes. He just stares blankly as he collects his thoughts. You groan and continue. "I put the ball in your court so many times and you never even noticed. And you have the nerve to be jealous of Sangyeon?"

Everything you had said to him up to this point had him riled up. His heart pulses wildly beneath his ribcage. That along with the implications behind your words were a deadly combination. Sunwoo had no choice but to act without thinking thoroughly. Plus, he was still standing there, wasting time again. The same way he did this whole time. Why didn't he even try to make a move? Stupidity?

The more he thought about it, the more time he wasted, and there was no fucking way he would do that again.

"Fine." He stalks toward you. "You want me to act on it, I will. But first-" He stops in front of you and you look at him expectantly. "You have to break up with Sangyeon."

"I will tomorrow-"

"No. Right now."

You gawk at him like he suddenly sprouted three heads. "What?! What do you mean right now?!"

"Fine." He starts to walk away, smirking when you yell for him to stop. 

"Okay. I lied. I just wanted you to feel jealous enough to just take me already." You admit exasperatedly. He slowly turns toward you, examining your sudden flustered appearance. He couldn't believe his ears nor his eyes. Just how much of what you've done was a ploy to make him jealous? Was the video... for him?

A ripple of arousal shoots straight down to his dick. Sunwoo rushes toward you and crashes his lips to yours. That was all the reassurance he needed. You hungrily kissing him back makes his member throb distractingly. He laces his fingers through your hair as he pushes your face closer. He gives the locks a tug and you moan into his mouth. He takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into it. Your tongues began wrestling together, fighting for dominance. 

"Can I..." He pulls away and snakes his hand down your torso toward your crotch. Breathlessly, you look up at him.

"I really just want you to stop asking and hesitating. I'm yours, use me." You purr. Sunwoo had never heard sexier words in his life. He groans, experiencing a deep ache in his crotch. Never in a million years did he imagine he'd have you submitting completely to him. At least not this early. He imagined himself having to fight off Sangyeon or some other prick first. To say he felt triumphant at this moment was laughably understated.

"Oh yeah?" He wraps his fingers around your pretty throat, reveling in the noises that the action elicits. "You want me to use you like you're my fuck toy?" 

"Yes, yes please." All of your dominance from earlier melted away. "I want you so bad Sunwoo." You whimper.

He growls before shoving you onto the bed. You look up at him excitedly. Finally, finally you were getting the guy you wanted all along. It was wrong, but you were never interested in Sangyeon beyond sex. You were just waiting for the realization to kick in for Sunwoo, for him to get jealous and finally make you his. And now it was finally happening. 

He kneels on the bed in front of you before grabbing a fist full of your hair. With your head in his grip, he leads your body toward his crotch. "Suck my dick, baby."

"Yes daddy." You smile as you start unbuckling his belt. After his pants are fully undone you push them down his legs. His hot dick hits the slightly cool air and he exhales shakily. The sight of your face right under his hardening member makes him shiver. He didn't miss the name, not for a second. The syllables leaving your glossed lips had him cursing under his breath. Sunwoo collects a chunk of your hair to guide you toward his hungry cock. You stretch your mouth wide as he gradually feeds his length into it. As his meaty tip hits the back of your throat you gag, slippery walls seizing around his dick.

"Fuck..." He draws the expletive out as he tightens his grip on your hair. "Look at those pretty lips. I could watch you take my cock for the rest of my fucking life." He grunts, hips jerking forward slightly. Both of you were still stuck on the fact that this was actually happening. Sunwoo had your warm mouth wrapped around his cock as he daydreamed about oh so often. That confession you made to him that night in your drunken stupor left him craving you for months. A deep ache twisting inside him, unrelenting.

And now he got to see and feel it in all its glory. Watching the way tears well up in your eyes with each gag and gargle. No matter how much his length threatened to choke you, you stayed resilient, never wavering in your hunger to please. Sunwoo was almost touched by how greedy you were for his cock, enough to replace your oxygen with it. 

"Baby girl... you want my cock that bad? Hm?" He cooes, laying it on thick with the faux concern. Dark brown eyes soak up your eager movements, more lust swirling to fill his pupils. You nod, whimpering around his cock in between wet suckling. "How bad baby?" He pulls your mouth off his length, admiring the strings of saliva that connect the two.

"So fucking bad. Want all I think about to be your dick." The dick in question twitches before your very eyes. You exhale amusedly before pushing your tongue out as an invitation. 

He accepts the invitation happily, except he doesn't let you do the work like before. His other hand curls into your locks to hold your head in place. The way his hips meet your face makes every coherent thought leave your brain. "That can be arranged." He moans out salaciously, each thrust emphasizing a different syllable. "Hah~" His eyes flutter closed as he fucks your throat. "Such a good girl for me. You make daddy so happy." 

You clench your thighs at the praise, whining around his length. You could get off just like this. Solely with the stimulation of your thighs while his cock rams down your throat. The heavy flesh sloshes against your increasingly lubricated walls, drawing up more saliva that dribbles from your lips and smears against his lower stomach. The lewdness of the noises filling the room spurs Sunwoo into a mindless haze, eyes rolling back as his hips work toward a blurring speed. "Holy. Fucking. Shit." He punctuates every word with a hard thrust, balls slapping against your chin. Your mouth is completely useless for anything but taking his dick. Barely any of your sinful noises can cut through the incessant gurgling. 

The thought that crossed your mind wasn't hyperbole. Every drawn out groan that flies from Sunwoo's lips makes your climax creep closer and closer. You squeeze your thighs around one of your hands you sent down to stimulate your clit. When he feels your body convulsing against the mattress he focuses his eyes on you. The image of you pathetically rubbing yourself as fucks your face almost makes his knees almost buckle. 

"What perfect cock slut. What did I do to deserve you?" He watches you take his cock with fondness in his eyes. You wanted to scream from the rooftops about how much he sets you ablaze. His big puppy dog eyes, charming smile, and sharp tongue all make your heart flutter. It was shameful how often this man crossed your mind. Instead of answering verbally, you dig your fingers into one of his thighs with passion-filled eyes and hope it conveys how utterly whipped you were for him. You'd let him fuck your throat until the sun came up without a care in the world about how it fucked up your voice. You'd let him utterly ruin you, and he wouldn't even have to say please.

Watching his sweat coated face contort in pleasure as the dirties sounds fill your ears brings you dangerously close. All you could manage to do was gag more, maybe accompanied by a few pathetic whimpers. A flurry of praises and curses leave his plump lips as his hips snap sporadically against your face. His hips gradually lose all their rhythm before they resort to slamming flat against your face. Your nose smashes into his abdomen, crushed against his soft skin. Gushes of hot cum spurt down your throat as he slams against your face a few more times until he's emptied his load. The lack of proper airflow finally gets to you as your vision turns white. His strangled and aching moans make your lashes flutter against his skin as you cum from your fingers circling your clit. 

He finally releases your hair to the relief of your burning scalp. You gasp for air before all the moans and whimpers being trapped inside your throat push their way out. You clench your eyes shut, tears gushing down your cheeks as you quicken the circles around your clit to ride your high out. Sunwoo huffs before pushing your fingers out of the way. Before you could complain, he was replacing them with his own, crawling over your body to get a closer look at your face as you come down. His fingers feel heavenly pressed firmly into your swollen clit. You jerk a few more times before heaving against the bed. 

If he thought you looked beautiful before, you were absolutely breathtaking looking so fucked out with cum leaking from the corners of your mouth. Sunwoo scoops it up from both sides before pushing the digits against your bottom lip. You drop your mouth open and accept the digits, humming gratefully as you swirl your tongue around them. 

"Such a fucking good girl." He cradles your face in his hands before sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. "The best girl." He mumbles against your lips before continuing to slot his between them. You lazily move your mouths against each other. Your body begins to ignite again from tasting him, humming from the feeling of his tongue against yours.

Sunwoo breaks away from the kiss to pull your pants down. He discards each article of clothing and tosses them to the side until you're completely bare for him. Your body was even better than he'd imagined. His imagination wasn't creative enough to conjure up each mole, scar, and mark that was painted onto your soft skin. You were too good to be true. 

Before you could blink, Sunwoo was littering countless wet kisses along your thighs, mumbling about how beautiful you were. You look away, your face getting hotter with each compliment. "So perfect," He whispers as his lips travel further up. When they meet your inner thigh near your core you flinch. It doesn't deter him from licking and kissing the tender area. You whimper helplessly as the onslaught from his tongue and lips continues despite how sensitive you were there. 

The moment tastes your moistened lips a deep groan reverberates against your pussy. You shudder, pushing against his face. "Fuck- I need you now." He flips you over, pushing your body down until it was flat against the bed. First you feel his breath fanning against the back of your neck, then his throbbing cock against the small of your back. The sensation makes goosebumps erupt all over the surface of your skin. 

"You wanted me so bad that you went through all of this..." Sunwoo whispers are gruff against your ear. "What a fucking needy slut." He grabs you by your throat and lifts your head from the mattress. Your back bends uncomfortably, but that along with the way he speaks to you drives you absolutely wild. You can feel your stomach twisting and turning with need. It was so potent that all you can do is moan breathily in response. He squeezes his fingers tighter around your throat and you keen in response. 

"So fucking worthless. Dumb slut can't even ask for what she wants." He lines himself up, cock head brushing against your lips between your shut legs. Your useless brain issues another command to moan, wanting so bad to just be fucked already. His words were polluting every coherent thought that attempted to enter your mind. The only semi-coherent words that came out were pleas to get pounded already. 

"Please daddy... please..." You whimper. 

Growling, he snaps down against you. His hips are pressed against you, but his dick is bent slightly, preventing him from sliding fully inside you. With a small adjustment of his position he was plunging deep inside you, hips flying up before slapping back against your ass. Each deep thrust makes it hard to react to the initial sensation of being stretched open. An especially hard snap of his hips makes you yelp in surprise. "Shut the fuck up and take it." He spat, pulling your head back farther by your neck. 

Every inhale you took filled your lungs with exhiliration. Never had you been so turned on before. "Yes daddy! Ngh- love your dick so much-" You cry out. 

"I can tell baby girl." Sunwoo feigns sympathy as he wrecks your pussy. Each damning thrust threatened to split you open completely. "Listen to how pathetic you sound on my cock. Just like in that fucking video." He grunts. "Calling out Sangyeon's name when you knew damn well you were imagining me fucking you." 

Slapping sounds mix with lewd squelches as you grow increasingly wetter. His knees are settled beside your hips as he slams his into you, his moans start to match yours in how pornographic they are. Both of you are slack-jawed as the sinful noises tumble off your tongues. "Isn't that right baby girl? You were imagining my cock slamming inside that slutty pussy?" 

You nod as best as you can as you bite your lip. He pulls you further back, and you think any more pressure would snap you in half. "Use your words you brainless slut."

"Y-yes! I was imagining it was you-" You struggle to speak with his grip getting tighter and tighter. You can feel yourself getting lightheaded. His thrusts only get faster, eliminating any chance for you to regain full cognitive function. You croak as you inhale, feeling your high beginning to impede on you. You can feel it as a buzzing sensation crawls from your toes all the way up until it meets your full core. 

"Oh, you fucking nasty bitch." He laughs darkly as he releases your throat. You inhale deeply, seeking to refill your lungs that were close to running on empty. "But you're my nasty bitch, huh?" He asks, almost fooling you into thinking it was a coo. 

"Yes I'm your nasty bitch daddy." You hiccup, face absolutely wrecked by tears. He pushes your head against the comforter, smushing your cheek enough to poke your lips out. "Thank you, thank you-"

"Good, good fucking girl." He mocks your whiny tone before grinding his cock into you. His pelvic bones push against the plush flesh of your ass as he does so. His cock digs deeper than before and you're cumming before you can fully realize it. How closely he's pressed against you fills you with overwhelming warmth that just pushes you right over the edge. You sob into the stranger's covers, legs and hips twitching as you gush around Sunwoo's cock. "Look at that, so pathetic for my dick." He presses both his hands into the small of your back, pushing your body further into the mattress as he reaccelerates the speed of his hips. You cry out in surprise, sensitivity overcoming every one of your senses. There's not even a chance for your brain to recover of focus on anything but his cock sliding out and plummeting back into your slippery walls. 

"H-holy- f-fuck- hah~" Your eyes roll into your skull as he fucks you into the mattress. "Fuck Sunwoo it's-"

"What did I say about shutting up and taking it, hm?" He slaps your ass, growling when you squeak. All your composure had flown out the window. All the sounds that fell from your lips were mindlessly salacious and animalistic as you barrelled toward your third orgasm. "That's fucking right. Take it. Take it." His tone was harsh and he grunted next to your ear. He took the lobe between his teeth and tugged on it. "Take it like the dumb slut I know you are." 

A loud shriek shoots from your throat as your hips fly up against his. You cum again and completely drown his cock with your juices. He roughly grips a handful of your head and pulls your head back as his high rips through him. Guttural groans fill the room as his cum fills you. His warm body pressing against you as hips jut against your ass is the last thing you feel before your vision goes black.

-

The smell of Sunwoo is overwhelming, and it fills you with content. Your eyes slowly flutter open as you take in your foreign surroundings. The white walls and sloped ceiling are covered sparsely with posters and other various decorations strewn about them. Your eyes focus on each poster, learning more about the reason your legs were hurting with each piece of decor. Warmth builds behind your back until you feel arms slide around your waist. 

"Morning baby." He mumbles groggily. The pet name he used at various moments the night before had a whole new meaning now. The content you felt before morphed into pure joy as you turned to face him. You press your lips against his before you rest your foreheads together. 

"Good morning baby." You smile.