#and I did text both of them like a summary of the ideas expressed here

[cesium-sheep]

I was feeling particularly sad but arin was just gonna go to bed and it made me sad that she wasn't gonna stay and comfort me or whatever so I went to try to explain that but she kept saying she really wasn't capable of having an in-depth discussion right now but I didn't want an in-depth discussion I just wanted to feel cared for for a bit :( so I gave up eventually (which is Dire for me, shit's been Real Real Bad y'all) and she thought about it and came out to follow up with me and I was able to get her to understand I think? I said some stuff about how I can't answer open-ended questions about what I need which is probably important to remind her later (and really open-ended questions tend to be a bad standalone solution across the board when someone is in distress) but ultimately it's just that like. I already know why I'm sad, and there's nothing to do to make it stop happening, I just need to like. feel like someone gives a shit that I'm sad above and beyond "ugh fuck I gotta deal with this too, I can only make 20 minutes in my schedule".

when I would have meltdowns a lot early in our relationship, she would wrap me up in a blanket and sit with me and put on funny videos I like. and I mentioned that and asked if she'd stopped because she thought it wasn't working and she said that was it. but it really does help. it really did make me feel so loved.

she sat and let me talk myself out and made understanding noises even though I know she didn't process most of it and just. let me be sad without trying to sweep it away or rush it along. then watched a few funny videos with me before she went to bed. sometimes it really is that fuckin simple.

I know for some reason I'm hard to care for and understand. I don't know why it's such a consistent problem, across so many different people. I'm apparently just Difficult. and I feel like I'm doing about as much as I possibly can to make myself less Difficult without just folding myself up real small again which does not make me easier to care for and understand at all, it just makes me more convenient. it actually makes caring for and understanding me a lot harder if I'm folded up so small. but even if it is something fundamentally wrong with me or how people react to me, like how some people just freak out certain types of animals or whatever, it is still fair and reasonable for me to continue to want care and understanding, and to stomp my feet when I don't feel like I'm getting it. as long as I am making an effort to use my words as best as I can, and not expect unreasonable actions.

[sunrizef1]

What Happens in Vegas pt 14

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, verbal abuse

Word Count: 1.6k

Authors Note: No Charles content in this one but important nonetheless

Summary: Logan and Y/N talk, y/n finally reveals who’s been texting her

Masterlist

“Have I ever told you about my family?”

Logan doesn’t reply for a moment, annoyance still resting under his deadpan expression. You’re both sat on the floor of his drivers room, backs resting against the wall behind you, coffee from the Williams hospitality sitting in foam cups getting cold as they sit, untouched. Champagne dries on the top of your skin, casting a sticky residue onto your face and the ends of your hair.

Your win was now forgotten, the trophy having been left in your room to be picked up by a random Porsche employee who’d eventually get it back to you. Logan’s DNF was also now forgotten, although it did leave a lasting effect on his mood, eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed tightly.

“No, but I know your dad.”

You tilt your head, pulling the inside of your cheek between your teeth as you respond, “Well, you know him now.”

Logan doesn’t respond, not in the mood to play into your vagueness. He’d invited you here to explain. He knew you’d clarify eventually, whether he asked you to or not.

“It’s a complicated story,” you pause, bile rising to your throat at the notion of explaining your childhood and forcing you to swallow it back down, “You don’t have to say anything.”

Logan hums, obviously not planning on speaking much anyway. Both of you stare off toward the floor in front of you, unspoken words hanging in the air around you.

“I was born in France, not sure if you knew that,” you start after a moment, hesitance laced in your words, “Everyone thinks I was born in Texas but my mom would’ve rather died than let that happen.”

“You probably know my mom, Amelie Laurent, French, vogues favorite person and I guess she’s a pretty famous model,” Logan pauses for a second, no doubt not aware of who your mom was, before he nods in recognition of the name.

“When my parents had me, they were still in love, I think,” you furrow your eyebrows as the words leave your mouth, “Um, but after they had me, I guess they got really busy with their jobs and stuff so they sent me to live with my grandparents in Texas for a while.”

“Didn’t really see them much growing up. My dad took me to the paddock a lot though, I got to hang out with everyone at McLaren, which was nice.”

“But he was busy so I usually got stuck with Kimi and then eventually Lewis, when he joined, which is where the uncle Lew thing comes from. Sometimes I felt like McLaren and Mercedes raised me more than my dad did,” the end of your statement comes out in a whisper, this being the first time you’d voiced the idea.

Logan glances over as your face sours, his hand coming out to hand you your, now cold, coffee. You grasp it from him and take a sip, sliding it back down to the ground after.

“When I was 8 my parents had my brother, which I think was the final straw. They got a divorce right after and my dad moved me to England. My brother stayed in France with our mom,” you wince.

“I started karting, my grandma moved to England to take me around to races when my dad couldn’t. Despite my own… objections, I spent my summers at my moms house with her and my brother.”

You pause, stomach turning as you let out a shaky breath, memories flooding back. Logan shows his first emotion of the night, glancing over to check you're not going to die. When he confirms you're, in fact, breathing, he looks back to the floor.

“I don't think she wanted kids. Maybe she did. At one point. But I think, after the divorce, all I did was remind her of my dad, a man she hated more than anything. She made it obvious with the way she treated me, as well. Well actually, the way she treated both me and my brother.”

“She never wanted me in karting, made it clear. Only reminded her of my dad again, made me do ballet in the summers. Thought it was more proper, or whatever. Didn't let us speak English at her house either, we were only allowed French, took Juli forever to learn English correctly, he'd only grown up with her.”

“Juli?” Logan asks, adding his first bit of input since you'd started talking.

“Brother,” you mumble into your knees as you pull them into your chest, resting your tired face against them. Logan nods.

“Um, she yelled a lot, I guess. A lot of stuff about our futures and how we'd always be failures if we went through with racing and football, she didn't like that Julian only wanted to play football, either.”

“Dad didn’t know, I didn’t tell him,” you mumble, “I didn’t think there was that much wrong with it until I left.”

“She just sucked, man,” you groan, eyes shutting tight as your head falls back against the wall, “I hated her so much! Because I was winning, I was getting these championships and getting these trophies and I thought she’d finally accept that I wanted to kart but the only thing she’d tell me was that I’d never get anywhere!”

You take a deep breath, holding back the faint tears in your eyes.

“But yeah, that's the worst of it, really. Completely cut contact at 15. Begged my grandparents to let me spend summers with them. They let me.”

“It just stuck with me for a while, you know? The shit my mom would say. A lot of crap about how I was failing myself with racing or how I would never have a future if I continued down that path. Said a lot of things about how I'd always find a way to lose and that it would never be worth it if I wasn't the best. Everytime I lost a race, she would find a way to use it against me, proof that I shouldn't be racing.”

“I did block her though, couldn’t stand the constant texts when I lost. Probably wasn’t even very easy to find those results, they weren’t exactly mainstream,” you furrow your eyebrows, confusion passing over your face momentarily, “Anyway, three years later, I’m 18. I move out and sign an f3 contract. My dad got super busy with Lewis’s championships and Mercedes. Kimi was actually the first to congratulate me.”

“I haven't spoken to my mom or my brother in, what? 8 years? I've mostly forgotten them by now, paris a thing of the past,” you trail off, the air of Logan’s room suddenly feeling a lot colder.

“All this to say, um-“ you rush out, shaking your head quickly.

You finally look over toward Logan, moving your body to face his, “She texted me, in Australia. Told me that the crash was all she'd ever expected from me, anyway. She's been calling ever since.”

Logan turns his head, concern written on his face.

“I think I'd forgotten about everything she said since it's been so long. But that text kind of brought it all back. It's been stuck in my mind for every single race. That's the reason I’ve been so unfocused lately. I don’t even know how she got my number, she was blocked on my old number and then I just got a new one, I don’t know how she could’ve got it.”

Logan, having dropped his previous spite, quirks his head, “What about yesterday?”

You swallow thickly, “Julian texted me. She kicked him out. He’s staying with a teammate. He’s sixteen, Lo. He’s still a kid.”

You fall back against the wall with a thump, your hands coming up to cover your eyes, “He’s still in France, still training with PSG. He’s asked to talk to me before Monaco.”

“Monaco?”

You nod solemnly, “My least favorite race, too close to my mom. I was so relieved when they took France off the calendar, you know? I’m pretty sure that, until recently, she didn’t know I was even in F1. She’s sworn off any media that isn’t French and I chose to race under dads last name. Makes me think someone told her I was.”

Logan hums, trying to process all the information you’d just told him. Eventually, he pats you heavily on the back, groaning as he stands up. You look up as he reaches a hand down to you, questions laying in your gaze.

Logan pushes his hand further down toward you, “Seems like a good enough reason to go out, celebrate your win. We can talk heavy solutions in the morning. For now, you are a race winner. A race winner who needs to get her mind off her fucked up family.”

You grin at his words, grasping his outstretched hand and letting him pull you up, “You reacted better than Arthur did. Think he was about to throw up with me.”

Logan pauses, his face screwing up with faux betrayal, “You told Arthur before me?”

You roll your eyes, “I was having a panic attack on the floor of the bathroom, talking about it was the only thing to get me out of it.”

Logan smiles softly at your response, slinging an arm over your shoulder as you two walk out of his room, “Let’s go, winner. Who do you think the most famous person you can get to celebrate with you tonight is?”

You take a moment to think about your response, “I think I saw Kendall Jenner, I’m sure I’ll probably see her at some point.”

Logan hums, looking out ahead of both of you, “You know I’ve seen the pictures of you two in Miami last year? You were so far gone.”

You laugh, hitting him in the ribs, “Shut up. We should leave soon, Porsche has probably already started partying without us.”

Logan laughs, patting your shoulder lightly as you both go to leave the Miami paddock.

———————————————

[catmiemy]

Things Will Never Be the Same (Lia Wälti x Reader)

Summary: You figure out that your girlfriend hasn’t been paranoid and your best friend is actually in love with you.

A/N: Finally managed to finish something! I have so many ideas, but I'm constantly too busy to actually write them. But I'm hopeful to have more time the next few weeks.

Also I'm definitely going to write a part two for this because I need a happy ending. So if there's anything you want to see, please tell me. :)

“Where the hell is my coffee?”

Your girlfriend’s voice reached you through the bathroom door. Both the actual words and her tone made you frown at yourself in the mirror. Apparently someone had woken up on the wrong side of the bed again. Like most mornings these days.

With a sigh you went back to applying your make up. There was no point in arguing with Jessica when she was like this. Furthermore you had a long day ahead of you and didn’t feel like wasting your energy unnecessarily. It probably, no definitely, wasn’t a good sign that you reached a point where you thought of most interactions with your girlfriend as draining, but you weren’t ready to face that fact.

Unfortunately Jessica was determined to bring the argument to you. Only a few moments after her initial shout, the door crashed open and your girlfriend marched into the room. “Where the hell is my coffee?”

Annoyance flared up inside of you. You did your best to keep a grip on your anger though, this would turn ugly if you also lost your temper, well uglier than it was going to be anyway. You hated what had become of your relationship, but no matter how hard you tried, you continuously failed at turning things around. You used to be so happy, so in love.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were awake, otherwise I would have brought you your cup.” You tried your hardest to keep a neutral tone and an impartial expression, all the anger and pain you felt hidden behind this façade.

Bringing Jessica a cup of coffee in bed had been one of your favorite things early on in your relationship. Her eyes always lit up with sheer joy and an endless amount of love for you at this small gesture. Back then she never got tired of telling you how much it meant to her, how much she enjoyed these few minutes in bed with her favorite beverage and cuddles with you, because of course in the early days of your relationship you would always snuggle back into bed with her. Now it had become chore, which apparently you got yelled at for if you missed it once.

“I sent you a text to let you know!” Jessica pointed out sharply.

You grabbed your phone and sure enough, there was a message from her. You also noticed that you had forgotten to turn off the “Do not disturb”, but you doubted that Jessica would be receptive to this explanation. Another thing that you noticed was a message from your best friend, your teammate at both Arsenal and the national team, Lia.

I’m grabbing us some coffee.

See you at the airport!

These few words were enough to bring a smile to your face, another thing that didn’t sit right with Jessica. She snagged the phone out of your hand.

“Hey!” You protested, grabbing the phone back from her. It wasn’t hard, Jessica relented it easily once she had seen what had made you smile.

“When will you finally realize that she has a crush on you?” She basically spat at you.

 This was an old argument and one that always made your blood boil. Lia was off limits! However you didn’t have the time, or energy, for a full blown fight right now. So you restricted yourself to hissing at your girlfriend that she should really leave Lia out of this and that you would talk later. Then you pushed past her, grabbed your luggage that you had put next to the door, and left the apartment.

Unsurprisingly your uber wasn’t here yet. A quick glance at your watch revealed to you that you were a good ten minutes early. The thought of going back into your apartment and facing your girlfriend again was entirely unappealing, so you decided to stay out here. At least the weather was pleasant enough.

To avoid being seen by Jessica, which might have prompted her to come out and continue your argument, you moved a little further down the street until you were hidden behind some bushes. Standing there you were hit by the realization that this might be a new all time low for your relationship. And if you were being honest the idea that this was what the rest of your life was going to look like made you sick to your stomach. Better not to dwell on it.

The instance you entered the airport and spotted your best friend, you rushed over to her and flung your arms around her. Lia matched your motion, although a little awkwardly since she was holding two coffees.

“Hey Schätzi, is everything okay?” She asked you, worry dripping from her voice.

You nodded your head and allowed yourself to enjoy the closeness a little while longer, before extracting yourself.

“Fight with Jessica,” you mumbled.

Anger set Lia’s eyes ablaze. She bit her lips to avoid saying anything too harsh. It was no secret that the dislike between your best friend and your girlfriend was mutual. However Lia was much better at keeping civil than Jessica.

“I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”

This time you shook your head, “Nah, I don’t want to think about it right now.”

As was normally the case it didn’t take long before you told Lia everything nonetheless. When it came to her you never could keep silent, no matter how closed off you were with everyone else. Lia’s soothing and caring personality made you feel like it was okay to get it all out. And even if you would never admit it, you usually felt better afterwards.

Lia was a very attentive listener. Her gaze rested on you the entire time and she nodded along, keeping a mostly neutral complexion. If you would have focused on it, you could have easily picked up on the disdain for your girlfriend in your friend’s eyes, but you didn’t want to see it.

And anyway, the more you talked about it, the more explanations you found for Jessica’s behavior. She wasn’t a morning person, she always felt a bit lonely when you had to travel because of work, anger was her go to emotion when she was overwhelmed.

“You know I think I’m going to text her that I’m sorry and that we should talk in the evening,” you announced.

Lia looked at you skeptically, asking carefully, “Why are you apologizing?”

You shrugged your shoulders, finding it more difficult than expected to answer her question. Somehow you always felt like you had to apologize around Jessica. Again, this was something you didn’t want to dwell on.

“For yelling,” you said finally, before quickly changing the subject.

The arrival at camp and especially the reunion with all your teammates that you hadn’t seen in a long time was chaotic and easy to get lost in. Still you noticed that Lia was quieter and more reserve than usual and you promised yourself to question her about it before bed. With a pang of guilt you realized that you hadn’t even asked her how she was this morning at the airport, just instantly unloading all of your stuff onto her.

Dinner dredged on for quite some time and when it was finally finished you realized that both Lia and Ana were nowhere to be seen. First you checked the room Lia and you shared, when they weren’t there you headed to Ana’s room.

You stopped in your tracks when you heard sobbing coming from the room. It didn’t sound like someone having a little cry either, no this was desperate wailing and even before you knew who was in so much turmoil, your heart broke for the unknown person. That being said, the moment you realized who was sobbing their eyes out your heart shattered into a million pieces.

“I can’t do it anymore,” a voice that you recognized instantly as the one of your best friend in the whole world, managed to get out between sobs.

As if these words were pulling you into the room, your body began moving on its own accord. You burst into the room, frantically looking around for Lia, rushing to her side the moment you spotted her on the bed. She was wrapped in Ana’s arms, but this didn’t deter you. You simply threw your arms around both of them.

“What’s happening, Schätzi? Please tell me, what’s going on. If someone hurt you, I swear to god I will kill them!” You would! No one was allowed to hurt your best friend, not when she was the sweetest person on the planet.

To your immense surprise Lia went rigid the moment she heard your voice and felt your arms around her. This didn’t make any sense; you had always been each other’s place of comfort. You looked up at Ana questioningly, startling once again when you saw the anguish in her eyes. What had you missed? Had someone died? One of Lia’s parents?

While you were still trying to make sense of this all, Lia freed herself from both yours and Ana’s arms and with a mumbled apology ran out of the room. You jumped up as well, ready to go after her and get to the bottom of this, but Ana held you back.

“Don’t,” she told you earnestly.

“I…Ana, what the hell was that? Please, you need to tell me, so I can be there for Lia. I’m her best friend, I need…” You didn’t know exactly what you needed; just whatever would help you take away Lia’s pain. You had never seen her like this, not even after any of her breakups.

Ana chewed on her lip, the internal struggle happening in her mind clear as day. In the end she sighed and said, “I can’t, Y/N. I want to because I think it’s important that you know, but it’s not my story to tell. Give Lia a little time to calm down and then try talking with her again, yeah?”

You nodded, even if in reality you had already decided not to heed Ana’s advice. How could you not try finding Lia right this second when she was this devastated? More than anything you wanted to make it better for her and you had a lot of faith that you could. You had always been there for Lia, through everything, just like she had been for you.

Therefore you began searching for Lia everywhere. First you checked your hotel room, but unsurprisingly she wasn’t there. Then you went outside because Lia loved being outdoors when she felt emotional. Again, no luck. The next hour you spent looking through every nook, but Lia was nowhere to be found.

Defeated you went back to your hotel room, hoping she had returned there by now. You held your breath when you entered, disappointment hitting you when you were greeted by a dark and empty room.

You plopped down onto the bed, not even bothering to turn on the light despite it slowly getting dark. Where was Lia? And more importantly what had happened to her? You picked up your phone, debating if you should call someone from Lia’s family. Maybe they had some information.

That’s when your phone lit up with a call from Jessica, an unwelcome remainder that you were supposed to talk everything out with her tonight. However, you didn’t have the energy for that right now; especially not when it would mean you would have to grovel until Jessica finally deemed it enough to forgive you. Lia’s words popped up in your mind, why were you even apologizing?

So you ended up ignoring the call, and you also ignored that this would inevitably lead to an even more difficult conversation with even more groveling on your part. Right now you couldn’t worry about that, all of your concerns were taken up by the whole situation with Lia.

You had lost all sense of time, so you couldn’t say how much later it was when the door was finally opened and Lia tiptoed into the room. Instantly you sat up, startling your friend who had expected, hoped really, that you were already asleep.

By now it had become pitch black in the room, and you reached towards the light switch to turn on the lights. When Lia saw your movement, she asked you not to, her voice sounding horribly hoarse. You respected her wishes, instead getting up and walking over to her in an attempt to give her a hug.

“Don’t,” Lia pleaded, cracking your heart in the process

What was going on? What had you done to make her push you away? It physically pained you not to offer Lia any comfort when she was clearly struggling, but again you listened to her boundaries.

“Lia, please talk to me,” you begged, “Ana told me…”

Later you would try to rationalize what you did next, or didn’t do to be more precise, to yourself by saying you were too stunned to stop Lia once it became apparent that she thought you were going to say that Ana had told you what was bothering her, when really you wanted to say, ‘Ana told me to leave you alone for a while, but I can’t do that.’

However a small voice would always point out that you could have stopped her at any time if you had really wanted to. The thing was though, you wanted to know what was going on with Lia, so you didn’t stop her.

“I…look…I’m so sorry! And I promise I can keep my feelings in check. I’ve been doing it for the longest time, so please…I can’t lose you! I know you’ll never love me like I love you, but I still need you in my life. Please….I’m…”

Lia’s voice broke, sobs bubbling up instead. She suppressed them successfully, but there was nothing the midfielder could do against the quiet tears streaming down her cheeks.

By now you really were shocked into silence, your mind reeling. Was it possible that Jessica had been right all this time and Lia did in fact have a crush on you? No, that was crazy! Your best friend had never given any indication that she liked you like this. Or had she?

You looked up at Lia whose whole posture screamed defeat. Her head was bent, her gaze firmly trained on the floor. The brunette had crossed her arms in front of her as if to protect herself from whatever you were going to say.

“Wait what? You have a crush on me?” This was the rather dumb response you came up with.

Lia shrugged her shoulders helplessly, her voice tear-stricken when she spoke again, “I’m not sure if that word is strong enough for what I feel, but like I said, it doesn’t matter. I can deal with it.”

She looked up at you for a moment, but was unable to even meet your eyes. Panic hit you, no matter how much Lia stressed that this wouldn’t change anything, you weren’t too sure if this was true now that it was all out in the open. You couldn’t lose her!

“But wait? Didn’t Ana already tell you this?”

Lia’s question ripped you from your downward spiral and at least for a moment the fear was drowned out by intense shame.

“No, she didn’t. I was going to say she told me to leave you alone, but then you began explaining and I just didn’t stop you because I wanted to know what’s going on so I could help,” you admitted.

Now it all made sense why Lia hadn’t wanted to talk to you about what was bothering her. You wished that you could turn back time and make different choices, so you never found out about this. But you didn’t deserve that, not after basically tricking Lia into disclosing her secret.

“What?” Lia asked in anguish, “So I could’ve...You never had to…I’m so stupid!”

And with that your best friend turned around and fled from the room. The sobs she could no longer hold back shaking her shoulders, and breaking your heart. You deserved all the fear and shame and other complicated feelings that came with this being laid open, but Lia didn’t.

You sank back down onto your bed, staring numbly at the wall, while your mind was beating yourself up mercilessly. If only you hadn’t been so selfish! How did you never notice that the most important person in your entire life was in love with you? What did that say about you?!

There were no tears, just silence and an ever growing pit in your stomach.

When the room to the hotel room was opened again sometime later, a tiny flutter of hope went through you. Maybe you could find the right words and things could go back to how they had been straight away?

This small and probably completely unrealistic hope was crushed instantly when you saw that it wasn’t Lia but Ana entering the room. She rushed over to you, engulfing you in a hug.

“Hey, how are you?”

You didn’t answer Ana’s question, but allowed yourself a moment of burying yourself in your friend’s arms. And anyway it was impossible to reply when you didn’t even know how you were, if you were really still in that hotel room, if this was in fact your life.

After a short while you pulled back, sitting up straight and focusing on the truly important topic.

“How’s Lia?” You asked, fear tinting your words.

Ana took a few seconds to answer, pondering her words. The truth wasn’t pretty, so she wanted to do her best to soften the blow.

“Not too good,” she admitted finally. “There’s just too many emotions hitting her at once. I think up until now she still had some hope that you’d return her feelings. But now that it’s all out in the open these hopes have been crushed and she just needs some time.”

While talking Ana studied you carefully. She had always wondered if maybe you returned Lia’s feelings. Not that she had ever told her friend that, the poor girl didn’t need any more confusing thoughts and emotions to deal with. Part of her wanted to ask you straightforward, but in the end Ana decided against it. Now was not the time for it, not when it was clear that you too were completely overwhelmed with everything that had happened.  

For you the thought of Lia needing time, time apart from you, made you nauseous. There was barely a day where you didn’t see or at least talk to your best friend. A reality where that wasn’t true, even if it was only for a little while, felt unbearable. However you were well aware that you weren’t in a position to make any demands. If Lia needed time, you had to accept that.

“Nadine has agreed to switch rooms with Lia so that she can stay with me. Are you okay with that?”

Ana’s soft words pulled you from your thoughts. The idea of Lia not sleeping in the bed next to you felt like another punch to the stomach. Still you pushed down your emotions and the tears burning in your eyes, and nodded.

“Okay then,” Ana said, a little unsure on how to proceed. If only she could cut herself in half and offer both Lia and you some comfort!

You decided to make it easier for her by standing up and heading to the bathroom. There you gathered Lia’s vanity bag, handing it to Ana when you returned. After that you quickly assembled all the things your best friend would need for the night. Pain shooting through you with every familiar item you picked up.

“Goodnight, Ana,” you said once you had given her everything, before disappearing into the bathroom once again to get ready for bed yourself.

You did so in record time, wanting to be in bed and be able to pretend you were already sleeping when Nadine came to the room.

At least this worked out in your favor and when you heard the door being opened again, you pressed your eyes shut and didn’t react to your teammate’s soft calls. You probably weren’t very convincing, but thankfully Nadine decided to leave you alone.

Sleep evaded you for a long time. You lay there with closed eyes, silent tears rolling down your cheeks as you tried and failed to keep your mind occupied. But no matter what you did, it kept circling back to the horrible image of Lia’s devastation once she understood that she had just revealed her biggest secret to you, the gut-wrenching realization that everything would be different now, and the fear of losing Lia once and for all.

What if she would never be able to move past this? She had so many great friends in her life, Ana, Leah, Viv and so many more, what if she realized that they were much better than you anyway? You couldn’t imagine a life without Lia. The prospect of a few weeks without her was already enough to make you want to curl up in bed and never get up again. But if you never got her back? You couldn’t do that. You couldn’t.

[totalswag]

dinner and sunsets — DREW STARKEY

authors note first off, thank you all so much for the love on my last two fics. writing this took me a few days and i wrote over 2k words too. i hope y’all enjoy reading. feedback is always appreciated <3

summary drew has been gone filming his upcoming movie in Italy for a few months. you make the decision to fly out to surprise him with your three month old daughter.

warnings none just a bunch of cuteness of dad!drew with baby his baby girl.

Drew has been filming in Europe for quite some time now. When he first left it was extremely hard because you guys are usually together. Tears were falling from your faces dropping him off at the airport. In all seriousness, you couldn’t be more proud of him and all his accomplishments he’s done to get where he’s at now in career.

Leaving was hard for Drew because he was leaving you and your four month old daughter, Tatum, home while he’s thousands of miles away. You knew you would come visit him and see what Europe is like. So, that’s what you did. The plane ride was long but it was worth it the moment you made it to Italy. 

For the most part Tatum did a good job before and during the flight. There were moments where she would fuss and cry but settled down once you calmed her down. In other words, flying with a baby isn’t easy. 

Drew’s manager and you have been texting back and forth about the whole thing. When you got to Drew’s apartment he’s been living in, you were in complete awe when you walked into his bedroom where a picture of Tatum and you were placed on his night stand. His manager said that he would be coming back in an hour once they are done filming for the day.

Tatum laid on her back kicking her feet like all over the place and making a bunch of noise while you unpacked your clothes. Tatum was a spitting image of Drew especially in the eyes and especially the facial expressions she makes. She continues to grow by the day, you wish time didn’t fly by so fast.

“Are you excited to see daddy?” grabbing both her tiny feet, moving them up and down, making her giggle at your gesture. 

An hour passes, Tatum’s sleeping, and you are on your computer looking up stuff. You look up from your computer to your phone, Drew should be here any minute, you thought. Taking your phone, placing it towards the door to get Drew’s reaction, and hitting record when you heard the front door open. Surprisingly Tatum didn’t wake up from his walking inside.

Footsteps slowly made their way towards the bedroom. Your heart is beating at a rapid pace as he gets closer to his room. Taking a seat by the edge of the bed, placing both hands on your lap. Drew’s on his phone typing when he enters the room, you playfully roll your eyes, clearing your throat to grab his attention.

He looks up from his phone quickly.

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me” his face lit up once he saw his two beautiful girls on his bed waiting for him. He puts his phone in his pocket, opening his arms. 

“Hi baby” you run into his arms, “i missed you so fucking much” you whispered softly.

“I miss you guys so much, you have no idea” he explains, placing both hands on your cheeks, and kissing you on the lips. Fireworks exploding in your stomach as your lips touch.

You let Drew pull away first. You guys just stare at each other, not saying a word. He wipes the tears from your cheeks with his thumb. You don’t know what you would do without him in your life. 

Drew goes to open his mouth but is interrupted by Tatum yawning; you let out a chuckle when he shuts his mouth then grins, looking at Tatum who’s opening her eyes.

“My little angel is up from her nap, huh?” he coo’s with the biggest smile. You see a smile creep up Tatum's mouth from her dad’s words. She gets a little too excited and starts moving her body – she usually gets like this with Drew.

He picks her up, placing her on his hip, and kissing the top of her head. The bond they share is unbelievable. From the moment Drew held Tatum in his arms you knew they were meant for each other. Before you got pregnant all Drew would talk about was he wanted a girl for his first child and when he found out, he couldn’t stop crying. 

He was so relieved to see you both. Every text, facetime, and phone call, he always mentioned how much he misses his girls and wishes you were here. Now he has you both, he feels complete and so do you.

“When did you guys get in?” he asks.

“About two hours ago. She slept for most of the time and I took a little nap too” you explain, taking the last set of clothing from your suitcase.

“How long are you staying?” He says without hesitation.

“A month” you said dragging the th at the end.

His jaw drops.

“This is the happiest day of my life.”

“I’m glad you got here safe though. I think we should stay in for the rest of the day and relax since my two beautiful girls had a very long flight to see daddy” Drew exclaims while making eye contact with Tatum, lightly tickling her with his right pointer finger. Little giggles left her mouth.

“Sounds like a good idea to me” you smile, admiring the two. 

Two days go by, Italy is so beautiful. You don’t want to leave this place. Drew brought you and Tatum on set to watch him film a few scenes and meet the cast. Going to the museum was one of your favorite things to do as a family and especially looking around the markets with all the fresh fruits and vegetables then buying them afterwards.

Spending time as a family makes your heart full.

Drew wanted to take you out to this amazing restaurant he went to with a few cast members one of the first weeks he arrived. He wasn’t kidding when he said the pasta was to die for. The service was great, pasta tasted delicious, and the wine was unbelievable. 

The sunset looked absolutely stunning from your perspective. With the music playing in the background and lights made the experience feel magical. You grabbed your phone from your purse, taking a couple pictures.

You told him what life’s been like back home – you’ve been busy with work, hanging out with friends, planting flowers in front of the house, and taking care of Tatum obviously. 

Drew talked about filming and how it’s been going for the last few months. One of the things he said that stood out the most is how proud he is of himself for coming this far and never giving up. Actually tears started to build in your eyes. 

“Baby, you saying that makes me so happy because you’ve gone through so much in your career. This job you have right now is huge for you and the fact you got the role is even a bigger accomplishment” you say with joy.

“Thank you baby, that means a lot to me”, taking a hold of your hand, gently squeezing it.

After Drew paid for dinner, he insisted you guys take a walk around for a bit and you agreed. The weather felt nice with the breeze.

Drew pushed the stroller with Tatum in her car seat playing with her toys— she started putting one of them in her mouth and talking to herself in her own baby language. It caught Drew and you off guard.

After dinner you guys decided to walk around the area and try to get Tatum to close her eyes. Since you are staying for a month, you want her to get used to the time change. You guys walked into a shop with a bunch of snacks; you couldn’t take your eyes off the varieties of different snacks which aren’t like the snacks in the states.

Picking out a few snacks that caught your eye and bringing it to the cashier. Drew recommended these chips he really likes.

“Should we walk around more or start making our way to the apartment” you suggested, putting the bag with the snacks under the stroller. 

He thinks for a second, scrunching his eyebrows together, “let’s walk around.”

“I can’t believe you are staying for a month with me” Drew beamed, placing a kiss on your head then softly patting your lower back.

“I can’t believe it either. Flying with a three month old definitely is not easy but this will be an amazing month with my husband and our baby girl where we’ll make memories that will last for a lifetime” you say with honesty in your voice. You meant every word you said too.

Drew called his manager that you guys were ready to be picked up and where you guys were waiting. Tatum started to get fussy in her carseat– she was uncomfortable in the position she’s been in for thirty minutes. 

When she sees Drew reaching in to unbuckle her she calms down instantly. She lets out a dramatic sigh making Drew and you laugh.

You bring your hand up to Tatum’s face, gently brushing your thumb across her cheek like you always do when admiring her cute face. As your thumb touches her cheek, she shyly turns her head into Drew’s chest.

You were about to say something about how cute they look but were interrupted by Drew's name being called from a group of girls across the street catching your guys attention right away. Since you arrived in Italy a few fans have asked for a picture with Drew or you.

Drew waves the girls over, they squeal when he acknowledges them. They introduced themselves the second they stood in front of you three. Tatum’s face went from happy to why is there a group of girls in front of me. 

When the girls saw Tatum they all said aww and complimented her outfit you picked out for her tonight. Fans don’t always get to see Tatum out like this but when they do, you guys kindly ask them to not take video or pictures of her.

“Can we please get a picture please?” one of the young girls asked nervously. 

“Of course we can, Y/N can you take her” you nod, taking her in your arms.

You held Tatum in your arms while Drew talked with his fans. They were so sweet and respectful the whole time. They started asking you questions about how the trips have been and what it’s like being a mom. 

Ten minutes later, Drew’s manager pulls up behind the girls. He gives them one last hug before parting ways with them. You could tell by the look on their faces that they didn’t want to say goodbye, that made your heart break. Tatum was already strapped in her carseat when he walked over to put her in the middle seat.

The drive back to the apartment wasn’t bad. When you walked into the apartment you guys made your way towards the bedroom. Only thing on your mind was taking a shower. Drew stayed with Tatum while you freshened up then showered after you. Tatum was able to get her bath in like she usually does. 

Drew gave her a bath while you did your skin care, brushed your teeth, and put lotion on. Giggles from Tatum filled the bathroom while you were in the middle of washing your face. You walked out of the bedroom to the washer to wash your towels then back to the party in the bathroom

You could hear Drew talking to Tatum as you got closer to the room. You stop your tracks when you enter the room, leaning against the wall, listening to Drew talking.

“You are the cutest baby on this earth” you can imagine the smile on his face as said those words. “You even have your moms beautiful smile too. You are lucky to call her your mommy. I’m so lucky to have you both in my life.”

Your hand lands on your mouth. Why does he have to be so sweet all the time? 

His head turns when he hears you walk in. He smiles at you as you lean down, giving him a kiss on the lips. He pulls away but you grab his face kissing him again. 

“I love you, you know that” whispering in his ear. “I know and I hope you know I love you more.” 

When you put your attention on Tatum, she had the biggest smile on her face when she splashed everywhere; her little legs and arms moving fast. Drew couldn't help but laugh at his daughter enjoying her bath. She loves getting her hair washed, she does this face where she closes her eyes and puts both hands in a fist and does this look like she’s in heaven. She has a lot of hair too.

“Are you enjoying your bath? It looks like you are having a grand old time” Drew says in his baby voice, gently washing Tatums hair. She replies in her baby gibberish then brings her right hand to his wrist, gripping on it. She’s never done this before.

You both gasps, turning your heads making eye contact. The look on his face says it all. You scoot closer, laying your head on his shoulder. 

Once you were all settled for bed, Drew and you made your way to the bed. You breastfed Tatum till she fell asleep then handed her to Drew and had her on his chest while burping her with you laying by his side. 

Inside Drew felt complete with you here with him after being away for a few months. Having his baby girl on his chest and the love of his life lying next to him makes him smile in the moment.

Spending a month in Italy seems like it’s going to be filled with love and memories.

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[probably-writing-x]

Better For You

Spencer White x Reader

Summary: You knew Spencer outside of his ‘Spider’ persona. You knew the boy he was outside of the school crowd. But when the two worlds collide, will you see him for who he actually is?

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Alcohol, mentions of spiking, cursing

———

“Spencer White?” You glance up from the diary in front of you, “Starting today?”

The tall boy in front of you clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck, “Yeah, yeah, that’s me. You can call me Spider.”

You scrunch your nose at his request, “Yeah I’m not gonna do that.”

He scoffs, “Alright, and what do I call you?”

“(Y/n),” You respond, “It’s just us two today so I can show you the ropes.”

“Can’t be that hard right? Sell people tickets, serve popcorn, pour a few drinks?”

You stare at him with a black expression, evidently unimpressed.

He looks down at his feet and then back up to you, “Okay, where do I start?”

Spencer was about the same age as you, you assumed. Your boss had said he came across as ‘confident and enthusiastic’ in his interview but both of those things seemed a little uncertain now.

You’d been working at the movie theater for nearly a year now, your uncle knew the manager so you’d been a shoo in from the moment you were old enough to work. It was long hours, late days, annoying customers, but it earned you money and that was all it needed to do.

“Let’s start with popcorn.”

———

That was two months ago now. You now spent nearly every shift with Spencer. He made the long nights feel like they ended earlier. He snuck you free food, dealt with the annoying customers for you, sped around the screens quicker than you so you didn’t have to do as much cleaning. He took extra hours so he could work when you worked.

You’d learnt in that two months that he was working here after an argument with his mum where she told him he’d never worked a day in his life. He’d taken this job to prove her wrong. That was on one of your late night shifts after a midnight screening. It was just the two of you and he was evidently down, evidently in need of someone to talk to. He’d opened up to you. You’d told him that you were sorry, though you weren’t exactly sure what for. He’d laughed and told you that if his Mum saw him like this she’d tell him this wasn’t work.

He drove you home that night, same as every night. And he thanked you before you got out of the car. He didn’t tell you what for, just said ‘thank you”. He needed it more than you did.

Now, he had your number and you had his. And you texted when you weren’t at work together. He sent you songs he thought you’d like, mainly from rock bands he’d heard at a concert that weekend. You sent him films he should watch and he forced himself to watch them, giving you a running commentary with text updates every few minutes.

You spoke to him more than you spoke to your other friends. You told him things before you told them nowadays too. But you two never saw each other outside of work. Separate schools, separate lives.

“Here,” You hand him over a stack of medium cups to add to the supplies at the counter.

Spencer takes them from you, loading them up onto the pyramid of cups you’d been making. It was a quiet day.

“You know if these fall you’re picking them up,” You comment, handing him another two cups.

Spencer adds them too and steps back with his hands raised as if he’s going to catch it, “Yeah, yeah, I figured.”

You grin, both of you admiring your handiwork.

“So,” He steps back to lean against the machine behind him, “I had a question.”

“A question,” You repeat, “Mysterious.”

“I know we’re not working on Saturday. My mates are having a party at the weekend, it’s stupid really, like this graveyard thing,” He shakes his head, “I was just… would you… would you want to come?”

You frown a little, as if taken aback but not wanting to admit it, “Are you…”

“You don’t have to, it’s a stupid idea really, I don’t know why we-“

“Yeah, I’ll come,” You nod, “I’m not here, so I’ve got nothing else to do.”

He smiles, “Alright, well then it’s a date.”

“Is it?” You cock a brow, folding your arms over your chest.

“I-“ His cheeks turn a dark shade of pink, “Shut up.”

Spencer rolls his eyes and steps forward, collapsing down the pyramid of cups into stacks in front of him.

———

Spencer texts you the location and you walk there as the sun’s going down - a little later than he’d suggested so you didn’t look awkward and eager.

It’s eerie when you think of it - a clearing in a graveyard converted into a party location. There’s already a crowd building, a mismatched stack of alcohol at one side and a littering of people you didn’t recognise mingling around.

Why had you agreed to come? You didn’t know a single soul here beyond Spencer. And surely he had other friends he’d want to see? The thoughts of turning around and pretending to have never arrived start coursing through your head. Your feet come to a stop, as if you’re preparing to disappear back into the surroundings.

“There you are!”

And there he is.

Through the crowd, you spot the familiar sight of that blonde floppy hair. The way his face curls up into that signature smile. He’s holding a red solo cup in each of his hands, extending them wide as if hugging you through the air.

“Was starting to think you weren’t coming.”

“Yeah, I’m still not sure about the whole… graveyard thing.”

Spencer laughs, “Yeah you just need to drink enough so you don’t think about it.”

He hands one of the cups to you and you take a sip.

“Careful, they’re probably spiked,” A girl walks past the two of you, eying Spencer with evident disgust.

She’s got dark short hair and a brightly coloured jacket with a black dress and she looks at you as if shes worried about you.

“Fuck off Amerie,” Spencer snaps, rolling his eyes at her.

You glance up at him and back to her and she offers you a small smile like she’s trying to warn you of something. She walks off over to another group of people and Spencer turns back to you.

“What was tha-“

“Come on, I want to introduce you to some people,” He places a hand gently on the middle of your back as if guiding you through the crowd.

There’s a group of boys over the other side, shouting loudly at each other and making vulgar gestures to go alongside whatever conversation they were having.

“Oi dickheads,” Spencer calls over, “Be normal for a minute, ay?”

The boys stop and turn around, both of them looking at you and then back to their friend.

“This is (Y/n),” He looks down at you and then back to them.

“(Y/n)!” One of the boys grins widely, “We’ve heard a lot about you. You moved in by Spider right?”

“Wh-“

“This is Ant, and that’s Dusty,” Spencer gestures between the two of them before you can say anything else.

“Nice to meet you,” You smile softly, “You know Spencer from school?”

“Yeah, basically since we could walk,” Dusty smiles at you, “We can tell you all the gory details.”

“Alright, alright, I’m right here,” Spencer shakes his head, standing close enough to you that his side is against yours, his arm still placed on your back.

He’s got that way about him. The feeling that you could just melt into his connection. You couldn’t explain it, but in a crowd of people you didn’t know, you were glad he was still beside you.

———

“So how does the dunny situation work here?”

Spencer turns to you and laughs, the two of you now at the edge of the party as people had started dancing in the middle. It was dark now, and you were stood just inches closer to Spencer to make the most of his radiating warmth.

“You find a spot where nobody can see you, and you put in some squat training,” He smiles, the kind of smile that creases his eyes.

“Oh how glamorous,” You wiggle your brows, placing your cup into his hand, “I’ll be right back.”

His fingertips linger on yours as your hand pulls away from his, his eyes lingering on you for even longer as you walk away.

You trail out away from the crowd and down a small path away from any prying eyes until you bump into the sound of giggling girls just ahead of you.

“Oh shit, sorry, I was just looking for somewhere to piss,” You clear your throat.

“Hey, wait, wait, wait,” One of the girls looks over to you, “You’re the girl that Spider was with right?”

It was the girl from earlier. The one Spencer had told to fuck off.

“Yeah, I’m (Y/n),” You offer a smile.

The girl’s friend stands up and zips up her trousers, both of them walking closer to you.

“I don’t want to sound like a cunt, but just be careful with him,” The girl, Amerie says.

“Am,” The other girl hits her arm, “You’re going to scare the poor girl.”

You look at her and fold your arms around you as if shrinking away from them, evidently uncomfortable.

“He’s just…” The other girl begins, “Very outspoken. He’s not exactly the nicest guy at Hartley.”

“He’s a grade A cunt,” Amerie adds, “And you seem like way too good for him.”

“Alright, we’re gonna go before Amerie says anything worse,” The other girl confirms, “Have a good night yeah?”

They both walk past you and you stand stuck in your spot, repeating over everything they had said. Spencer had been the nicest boy ever since you’d known him. He was thoughtful and funny and he was who you looked forward to seeing every shift. But everyone here seemed to be talking about a different boy when it came to him. To the girls, he was like the worst guy they’d known. And why had he lied to the boys about how he knew you?

“(Y/n)?”

You turn in your spot to see him stood behind you, far enough away that you can only make out his silhouette in the dark.

“You’d been a while, I was just making sure you were okay,” He speaks so softly you feel your heart skip a little.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” You clear your throat, walking towards him.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Spencer offers, “I reckon the coppers will be here soon.”

“Yeah,” You smile at him lightly, “I’ll probably book an Uber-“

He holds his cup out towards you, “I’m not drinking. I’ll drive you home.”

Spencer tugs his jacket off from his shoulder and places it around yours his hand slipping down beside your arm until his hand is hovering beside yours. You interlock your hand with his and he smiles once more, like he’s relieved at the contact.

———

The drive back isn’t far, and the empty roads make it even quicker. Spencer still indicates every time he needs to, drives the limit rather than anything over, glances at you every so often to make sure you were okay in the passenger seat.

He pulls up in front of your house and shuts off the engine.

“So, will you be rushing back to a graveyard party any time soon?” He leans his head back against the headrest and turns it towards you.

“I think I’ll stick to the beach or a house party for now,” You nod, running your hands over the cold skin of your thighs.

Spencer laughs, “Yeah I-“

“Can I ask you something?” You interject, the thought practically spilling from your mind.

He frowns, nodding slightly.

“Why did the boys think I was your neighbour? Did you not tell them we worked together?”

Spencer swallows the lump in his throat, “I didn’t tell them about the job.”

You furrow your brows, “Is working at a movie theater really that bad?”

He lets out a deep breath, “It’s not that.”

There’s a stillness in the air between you. That sort of tension that he always managed to dissipate. He’s calm and yet the air seems to be full of all the nerves he could muster in your presence.

“I don’t really talk to them about anything with my Mum, or home, or anything. And I guess I figured if they knew about the job they’d start asking questions and it’s just… not something I tell people.”

“You told me.”

Spencer chuckles a little, “You’re easier to talk to.”

You smile at him and the tension in his shoulders seems to relax a little, “I guess I can pretend to be your neighbour next time.”

“Next time?” He raises his brows, “So you did like the graveyard.”

You laugh, your gaze averting to the darkness looming over your house, not a single light on.

“So, my parents are away,” You say quietly, like you’re now the one holding all of the nervous energy, “Do you want to… I mean you could…”

“Yeah.”

You laugh, unsure at what point in your time knowing him had it become so easy for Spencer to make you nervous.

———

He sits at the end of the bed whilst you get ready in the bathroom. You take off your makeup, wash your face, tie back your hair and change into your pyjamas. They were one of the cuter sets you owned - different to the normal baggy t-shirt you’d wear. But if there was ever a time to wear a nicer set, it was whilst Spencer would be the one you were sharing a bed with.

When you walk back in, he looks up from the book he had in his hands - one he’d taken from your nightstand.

“Didn’t think that would be your kind of thing,” You nod towards it, walking over to your side of the bed.

“Too many big words,” He smiles, setting it back down and shuffling backwards on the bed.

He was wearing only his t-shirt and boxers now - his other clothes folded in a pile on the chair in front of your vanity.

“Okay we’ve got a problem here,” You comment, looking down at him.

“What’s that?” He asks, swinging his legs around so that he’s sat at the side of the bed facing you, his knees bumping against your legs.

“This is my side of the bed,” You mention.

“Oh is it?” Spencer cocks a brow at you and you hum in response.

His hands reach out and gently brush the skin of your thigh, trailing upwards towards your waist as if drawing you towards him. You let him guide you, shifting until you are straddling his lap. Neither of you speak, Spencer’s hand moving around to hold your back, one remaining on your waist. Your breath catches in your throat, eyes focused on his like you’re seeking that comfort.

“Can I kiss you?” Spencer whispers, the words seeming to tumble from his lips.

You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat, “Yes.”

The corners of his mouth upturn just slightly, his eyes flicking between your eyes and your lips. And then, he closes the gap just enough. His lips press against yours, soft and cautious but somehow so certain of themselves. His hand moves to cup your jaw, drawing more of you to him as his fingertips tangle into your hair. When he pulls away, his lips curl into a smile, forehead pressing against yours.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to do that,” He whispers, as if not wanting anything else to ruin the moment.

You laugh, leaning into him, “This is still my side.”

Spencer chuckles, holding one arm tightly around his waist to shuffle you both back across the mattress. He shifts to lay you down on one side of the bed before settling down on the side beside you, his arm outstretched to pull you into his chest. You can feel his heart beating against your ear and you’re relieved for a second he is sharing in the same adrenaline that you are.

His fingertips trail up and down your arm, the most delicate touch he could muster.

“I’m sorry I lied to the boys about you,” He speaks the words quietly into the air of the room.

You tilt your head upwards just enough that you can see his face, “We already spoke about this, you don’t have to-“

“Yeah but I didn’t apologise properly and I should do,” He nods, “It shouldn’t be your problem to have to lie to them too.”

“Would it really be so bad if they knew you had a job?”

Spencer shakes his head, tucking his other arm beneath his head on the pillow, “No, it wouldn’t. I just don’t like the thought of them knowing everything that goes on at home. It’s easier to go into school and act like none of that exists.”

You lean up onto your elbows and turn to face him, reaching up a hand to run through the hair falling at the side of his forehead, “Would it not be easier if you could talk to them about it?”

He wraps an arm around your waist, his eyes flitting between each of yours, “I don’t think I’d even know what to say.”

Spencer leans up just enough to kiss you again, gentle and fleeting.

He pulls you back down to his chest and tugs the blanket up over both of you. The pair of you stay there, like that in each other’s arms, until his breath starts to even out and he falls asleep - though, even then, his arms don’t loosen from around you.

———

Spider is back at school on Monday morning. He’d spent all of Sunday with you - waking up at your house, driving you both to work, and then taking you to dinner afterwards. It was the first time he’d ever woken up and instantly wanted to text someone, sending you a quick ‘good morning’ along with his complaints for not wanting to go to school today. He felt like a child with his first crush. Though, when he thought about it, maybe this was the first proper crush he’d had. No other girl had made him feel like this. And he’d savour it for as long as he could.

“Oi dickhead, are you listening?” Dusty interrupts his thoughts, the two of them walking towards the locker room to get changed.

“No,” Spider shrugs, “Do I need to be?”

“You missed a killer end to the party man,” Dusty points out, pushing the door open to where the rest of the boys already were, “I can’t believe you left early.”

“Oh come on I think Spider had other things on his mind,” Ant points out as soon as he overhears the conversation.

“Yeah who the fuck was that chick?”

“Does it matter? Either way Spider was going to fu-“

“Cut it out,” Spider snaps, to nobody in particular, just hoping for anything that would stop the topic of conversation.

“Aww is Spider precious about his latest conquest?” Ant frowns, “You’ll be onto the next one by this weekend.”

“Have you ever just thought of shutting up Ant?” Spider questions, reaching down to tie the laces of his trainers, “I mean, seriously, is it so hard to think (Y/n) might just be a good person? Someone I actually like hanging out with?”

“I don’t think that’s what they’re doubting,” It’s Malakai that speaks this time.

Spider looks at him, uncertain.

“If she’s a decent person, the last guy she should be around is you.”

For a moment, he feels the silence around him. The same tightness in his chest that he got at every dinner with his Mum. The same voice in his head telling him it was impossible for him to be good.

“Well,” He clears his throat, standing up from the bench, “Good thing I don’t need to listen to you cunts.”

When he walks out onto the field, the girls are already crowded around in conversations with each other. Spider walks over, crossing towards the opposite side of the field.

“Oi Spider!”

It’s Amerie that yells after him. He turns around to see her and Harper making their way over.

“You know we told that girl from the party to stay away from you,” Amerie states strongly, offering him her most judgemental look.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You might be able to put on an act for her but she deserves to know how shitty you are.”

“Are you kidding?” Spider scoffs, “You don’t even know her, why’s it your place to say anything?”

“We don’t know her,” Amerie shrugs, “But we know you. And no girl deserves that.”

He glances around at the rest of the people on the field, across to where the boys have just started filtering outside too. Not a single person here thought well of him. Even the boys, his friends, they saw him as the boy that said what they wouldn’t say. He was funny to them before he was good. He was someone to laugh at before he’d ever be someone to talk to. He’d become a show piece at this school. The controversial one that said what nobody else would.

“Ever thought that I might want to be a decent guy? That if I actually liked someone it’s genuine?” Spider shrugs, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“Oh fuck off Spider, are you even capable of that?”

“Maybe.”

———

You’d been on Spider’s mind for the whole day. And, as soon as the final bell rang, all he could think of was getting to you.

It’s not a far drive, just the other side of town. But he speeds as if it’s some sort of last ditch attempt to get to you. He hadn’t thought to text, or ask where you were, or ask if you were free. He just knew he needed to get to you. And when he pulls up in front of your house, he realises this is as far as his thoughts had taken him, he wasn’t sure what that meant now.

He knocks on the door, harshly as if he’s channeling his nerves into the sound.

It’s not you on the other side. Instead, an older woman, bearing some resemblance to you in the brightness of her eyes.

“Hi, can I help you?” Her brows furrow but she smiles at him welcomingly, warmly.

“Um-“ He clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck, “I just-“

“Are you (Y/n)’s friend?”

Before he can respond, you come up behind the woman and grasp her shoulders, “I’ve got this one Mum.”

You glance to Spencer and smile, instantly relaxing the tension in his shoulders.

“It was nice to meet you,” Your Mum nods to him, turning to you and giving you some sort of knowing smile as if exchanging silent words.

You step out of the front door and pull it almost-closed behind you;

“What are you doing here Spencer?”

“You didn’t tell me what the girls said to you at the party.”

“I-“ You wrap your arms over your chest as a breeze courses past both of you, “I didn’t think it mattered.”

“Didn’t matter?” He half laughs, his shoulders dropping, “They practically told you to get as far away from me as you could.”

“Yeah. And that doesn’t mean I believed them.”

Spencer smiles at you just a little, but it falters quickly.

“Why do they hate you so much Spencer?”

He pauses, taking a deep breath as he looks at you like even the sight of you is enough to calm down all of the worry coursing through him.

“My whole life it’s just been me and my Mum. I didn’t have siblings, my Dad was never in the picture. And so I had this one person left that was meant to love me. You know? That was her job, right? She’s my Mum, she just needs to love me and we’d figure the rest out. My Mum treats me every day like I’m the worst guy on the planet. I’m a guy and she thinks that’s enough for me to be someone she should hate. To her, I’m destructive and thoughtless and I have all this potential do a world of wrong. She reminds me of that every day, with everything I do. She’s reminded me of it so much that I started to believe it. That’s the guy I am to them at school. That’s the guy they know. And I’d hate me too if I was them.”

You feel a lump forming in your throat, wanting to reach out for him and tell him everything he needed to hear. To heal all those years of hurt that sat on those young shoulders.

“I don’t want to be that guy when I’m with you.”

You feel it then. The way your heart skips a beat once more.

“I want to be better.”

Your face breaks into a small smile, an instinctive response.

“I believe you,” You practically whisper the words, “Everyone else might have a lot to say about you but I know the person that you are with me.”

You step forward towards him.

“And I don’t think that guys so bad.”

You watch as he visibly relaxes, grasping out for you as soon as you are within reach, his hands snaking around to your waist. Your hands move up to his chest, linking around the back of his neck.

“You deserve a chance to be better Spider,” You smile, reaching up onto the tips of your toes to press a kiss to his lips.

He hums against the contact, pulling away to say, “I prefer Spencer.”

You chuckle and he wraps his arms tighter around you, burying his head into the crook of your neck. He breathes in the scent of you in his arms, feeling his heart slow in your hold. He’s sure he could stay there forever. And you’re sure that you would let him.

[soffsh2]

Office Hours

Warnings: Contains mature content (Minors DNI, 18+)

Plot Summary: One of the University’s library attendants catches your eye through a series of standoffish encounters with her.

God, you are so fucking late. How the hell did you manage to sleep through all your alarms? Your partners and you had agreed to meet up at 4 p.m. in the study room, and it was already 4:10 while you sprinted through campus in an attempt to make it there as soon as possible. As you run, you type out an apology message to them, telling them that you’ll get there as quickly as you can, but that didn’t help the fact that when you arrived, you had no idea where the study room was. 

You transferred to Brown just this year, so you were still figuring out where buildings were and how they were laid out, much to your own embarrassment. Nothing has ever been more humiliating than asking a freshman for directions to the junior dorms. Nevertheless, the directions to your specific room would be a problem you’d deal with when you actually got there.

You ran for a few minutes before you finally made it to the library. In your haste, you almost slam into the sliding glass doors that are just slightly too slow to open. Walking into the university’s library, you look back at the text your group mates sent. ‘I booked room 125 for us.’ Okay, perfect. All you needed to do was figure out where that was, and you’d only be a few minutes late; they’d understand.

Admittedly, this was the first time you’d been in the university’s library since transferring, so you were a little awestruck. The inside was far more grandiose than you were expecting; the chandeliers and many rows of books made it look like something out of Hogwarts. Right in the middle of the library foyer, there was a large wooden desk where a brown-haired library attendant sat, reading a book. It seemed that she was your best bet to find where you were meant to go. 

You walk up to the large desk adorned with a small metal bell and stand in front of her, waiting to be acknowledged, to no avail. She seems far too engrossed in her reading to see you were there, in need of directions. “Excuse me?” You try. The brunette ignores you and keeps her eyes trained on her book. "Um, excuse me?” You repeat, giving her the benefit of the doubt that she didn’t hear you. This time, instead of outright ignoring you, she gives you a pointed look over her book and then goes back to reading. Well, there was no way you could give her the benefit of the doubt now.

“I was wondering if you could help me find this study room—” Without even looking up from her book, she cuts you off by pointing to a sign on the desk that reads, ‘Please Keep Quiet in the Library.’ You can’t help the insulted expression that makes its way onto your face. You’re able to catch a smirk on her face before she returns to being stoic. To add insult to injury, she spins her chair to face her back towards you. Oh, she was not making this easy. 

You stand there for a moment trying to figure out what to do from here, as the brown-haired girl made it obvious she was not in the mood to assist you. But you still needed help, and she was your best bet. So you were determined to get her to be the one to help you, if not to just be a bother. You have an idea. Reaching for a piece of paper from your bag and taking a pen off the desk, you scribbled something down. 

You press down on the bell that you saw as soon as you approach the desk. You can see the girl cringe at the sound, but she didn’t move besides that, keeping her back facing you. You were hoping for that. You hit the bell again, then again, and suddenly barraged the bell. Pressing incessantly until the ringing was too much for her to bear.

The girl turns around angrily, snatching the bell from under your hand. She got as up into your face as she could with the desk separating you, both hands planted on the wood to stabilize herself. “What?!” She tries to keep her shout as hushed as possible, but it wasn’t a valiant effort, as evidenced by the several shushes heard from students in the vicinity of the shouting. 

With her attention now on you, you point at the sign that she had used to dismiss you earlier, with an all too pleased look on your face. You can see her jaw locking in frustration and her eyes narrowing at you. Boy, she had a temper on her. If looks could kill, you would’ve been dead and buried several times over at this point. Deciding that you had angered her enough and because you were a little intimidated, you held up your paper that read, “Where is study room 125?”

She groans before pointing somewhere vaguely behind her and to the right. You mouthe a ‘thank you’ to her and were about to head towards where she pointed when she gathered a couple books into her arms and shoulder checked you as she passed, heading somewhere deeper into the library.

You hike your backpack strap up higher onto your shoulder before sparing one last glance at the girl's desk. Noticing something new that revealed itself once she was out of the chair: a blue and yellow varsity jacket with a name written out in cursive. ‘Shauna?’ you read. You hum at the newfound name of the brunette. She was kind of pretty when she was mad.

==================================

 

The next time you ended up in the library was to check out a couple books for a research assignment. After browsing around for a bit, you finally gathered the books you needed for your paper. Sauntering up to the check-out desk, you were about to mark this errand down as a success. That is, until you saw who the attendant was. It was the brunette from your previous encounter. 

She hadn’t yet noticed you, or maybe she had forgotten the whole first encounter entirely. You were hoping it was the latter. She turns her back and is organizing some paperwork when you finally muster up the courage to approach. You place the books that you've gathered on the desk and speak up. 

“Hello, checking out, please.” You say it in a much more confident tone than you’d had in your first meeting, hoping she can’t recognize your voice.

“Sure, one sec—” She turns around as she responds, and as soon as she makes eye contact with you, she scoffs. You guess she remembers you. It was a fair response; you didn’t exactly leave the best first impression. Then again, neither did she. 

She looks like she wants to do anything in her power to avoid assisting you, but she knew how that ended the last time. So, she begrudgingly began the check-out process of scanning and recording all of the first book's information. She was silent in between the flapping open of the pages and covers, the beep of the scanner, and the glares she’d shoot your way. The intensity of her gaze made you want to speak, even though the better part of your mind knew you shouldn’t.

“I guess you didn’t forget the first time we met, huh?” She didn’t acknowledge you at all this time, continuing to scan and log the books. A slight tinge of guilt washes over you, making you want to apologize, more so to not have awkward encounters with her going forward. You knew your workload would make you spend a lot of time in the library, and you’d be avoiding her a lot if you didn’t make amends. “I’m sorry about that, by the way. I just needed help; I wasn’t looking to annoy you. My name is Y/n; I only transferred here this year.”

You assume your apology fell upon deaf ears because she is deathly silent for a few seconds, the only sounds being pages turning and a distant cough somewhere in the library. She doesn’t even look up from her little check-out process when she responds.

“You know, you interrupted a really good book.” The way she said it made it sound like more of a warning than a joke. You inhale slightly and mumble another apology. She hesitates for a moment, as if she were deciding what to say next, if anything. “It’s Shauna, by the way.” You’d gathered as much after the previous meeting, but you’d never tell her that. You were thankful for any interaction with the girl where she didn’t look like she wanted to kill you.

There’s a pause once again as she scans each book and stacks it onto the ones she's already done. She says nothing more to you, so you assume she’s finished with the conversation. You open up your bag to make room for the books and grab your library card as she places the final research book on the stack. 

“Is that all? What about that one?” She gestures at your own book that you had just removed from your bag to fit the other books into.

“Oh no, this one’s mine.” You hold up the paperback copy to show which book you’re referring to. Upon this action, however, allows her a closer look at the state of your reading material. She looked absolutely mortified.

“Oh my god, it looks like a mess; it’s practically falling apart. And you dog-ear the pages? Are you a criminal?” To say her outburst surprised you was an understatement. You pull the book back to your body and recoil. She’s scolding you over your own book? You look at it again. It looked perfectly fine to you. Maybe a little worn out at the crease, and yeah, dog-eared pages, but it wasn’t hanging on by a thread like she made it out to be.

“What are you talking about? It looks fine. And of course I do; how am I meant to know where I left off without marking it?” You argue, getting defensive and slightly embarrassed as you try to shove the book back into your bag.

“Um, use a bookmark, like a civilized human? God, are you a toddler? That’s like basic book etiquette.” She says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

"Jesus, am I getting lectured right now? Just give me my books so I can leave.” You shove your library card into her hands and stand there impatiently. You should’ve guessed that she’d be pretentious about something even as stupid as this. And to think you apologized for being bitchy. Shauna scans your card and grabs something behind her computer before she goes on her librarian schpeel.

“Please return the books within the allotted time. If you need an extension on the return date, please come back so we can adjust and you don’t get fined. If the books are missing or returned damaged…” She puts emphasis on that word and looks you in the eye. “Then you will be fined the full amount for a new copy of the same book. Thank you.” She finishes it off by handing you back your card with a sickly sweet smile that was so fake you wanted to roll your eyes. You start wrapping your hands around your books before she speaks up one final time.

"Also, learn to use this so you don’t destroy any more books.” She tosses a bookmark at you before going back to organizing the paperwork she put on hold to help you. The bookmark itself is almost insulting. It looks like one you’d get at the scholastic book fair as a kid, showcasing a worm with glasses and the phrase ‘Reading is cool’ in big, bold letters. 

You wanted to retaliate; in fact, it seemed like she was hoping you would, loving every second of locking horns with you. But to your absolute dismay, you could think of nothing. You gathered your books and walked away, catching the smug grin that graced her lips as she caught sight of the bookmark that you took with you.

==================================

 

You found yourself back at the library once again, working on an essay for class. You had gotten there in the late afternoon, and since your arrival, the sky has grown dark and the light drizzle has turned into an outright downpour. You were relieved you’d brought your umbrella earlier; otherwise, the walk back to your dorm would be miserable. You had to give it to your parents; you didn’t think an umbrella was a necessity when packing for college. Boy, did they prove you wrong. However, you still thought that them having your initials etched onto the handle was a bit much, ‘in case someone stole it’ they said.

Gathering up all your books and all the items you’d had strewn about on the library table, you pack everything to head home. While you walk towards the exit, you take notice that you’re one of the few people still remaining in the building; everyone else was probably smart enough to get back before the rain picked up.

At the entrance, you find Shauna standing at the doorway but making no effort to go outside. She looked mad; she always seemed to have an upset expression on her face. You pull off your headphones that you wore when you were studying to address her. The loud music no longer playing in your ears allowed you to hear the rolling thunder that sounded off every few seconds. You decided you had a minute to spare to let the thunder pass before you continued back to your apartment. So you stood next to her, waiting for a pause in the rain so you could leave, but nothing came. 

After a few minutes of standing next to her without either of you saying a word, you finally break. “Hey, waiting on a ride?” You ask, your morbid curiosity about the angry girl getting the better of you. She turns at the sound of your voice but groans upon seeing who was talking to her and turns back to face outside. 

“How am I always stuck with you?” It’s a barely audible mumble, but you can hear it. She finally turns and fully faces you, leaning her back against the wall. “But to answer your question, no. I walked today, and my roommate doesn't have her license, so she can’t pick me up.” She sighs.

You give her a sympathetic look. "Oh, that sucks. Do you have far to walk?” A crack of thunder sounds during the pause for Shauna’s response. She cringes and looks miserable at the idea of walking any distance in that storm.

“I live off campus.” She says finally, after the roaring sound stopped. Jeez, that would be a long walk, and she is definitely not layered properly to brave that weather. 

“Yikes, that will definitely take a while.” She groans at your statement.

”God, I’m going to kill Jackie.” The roommate, you presume, “She told me to dress light today because it’d be hot. I’m gonna be drenched when I get home.” You give her a sympathetic look before reaching into your backpack and pulling out your umbrella. 

“Here.” You stand up and hold it out to her. She looked confused at it for a second, her narrowing eyes shifting between you and the umbrella you held in your hand. She quickly gathers that you were being genuine and tries to deny it.

“No, I can't take your umbrella.” She says pushing your hand back to your body.

“Don’t worry about it; I’ll be fine. I live in one of the university apartments, so it won’t take too long for me to get back. Just take it.” You hold it out again and place the umbrella in her arms.

“Are you sure? How am I gonna get it back to you?” 

“Positive. And don’t sweat it; I’ll be here almost every day to study, so you can give it back whenever you get a chance.” At that, you pull the hood of your jacket over your head, leaving no room for her to argue further. “Later.” You say to her as you head out the door, and you’re sure you saw a small smile on her face as you left.

==================================

You were hoping that the most recent interaction between you and Shauna was enough to spark some sort of friendly behavior between the two of you, and you were eager to get back to the library and have her return the umbrella with a gracious smile and a ‘thank you.’ Only that’s not what happened.

In reality, you would find it waiting at the entrance with a post-it note saying ‘Y/n’ placed right over the initials on the handle. No Shauna, smile, or anything. It wounded you a bit, but you guess Shauna wasn’t that type of girl. But certainly, it was enough of a kind gesture that you’d be able to go up and talk to her. 

You’d caught her sorting out books in the rows of bookshelves by the private study room that had become your usual go-to place. Shauna had noticed you frequenting the room, catching her staring a few times while you worked on an assignment for class. Lucky for you, you needed to find a book to continue working, and she happened to be right there, so what was the harm of asking her? 

Sauntering up to her side as she was replacing all the novels in their rightful spot, she took no notice of you until you were right next to her. You awkwardly drummed your hands against the hardwood shelf.

“Shauna, just the girl I wanted to see! Listen, can I get your help with—”

“I’m going to stop you right there, new kid.” The nickname made you feel juvenile; you couldn’t describe the immediate effect all her words had on you. It put you on edge in an instant. Making you stand stiffer and putting on a face of confusion as she continued. 

“What you did the other day, that was really nice. But just because you’re nice to me one time doesn’t mean I’m gonna like you, or wanna be friends or anything. Don’t expect any niceties from me.”

Obviously, you didn’t assume that you and her would become best friends after, but you’d thought you’d get some cordial interactions with Shauna going forward. So hearing each word was like a blow to the stomach. You couldn’t pinpoint why you wanted some semblance of a friendship or even an acquaintanceship with her. Either way, the sentiment hurt a lot more than you were willing to show, so you put on a brave face.

“Oh… I didn’t assume.” Your smile only faltered for a moment before you managed to put on a neutral expression, trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing. A part of you was hoping it was a practical joke, but Shauna doesn’t seem the type.

“Perfect, glad you’re on the same page.” Shauna flashes you a tight-lipped smile with a pair of raised eyebrows as she pushes past you. If you were grasping at straws, you would say it was at least more gentle than the first time she shoulder bumped you, but that just made you seem pathetic.

Once Shauna was out of sight, going up the stairs to the next floor, you had to resist the urge to shout out ‘You’re welcome’ at her. You returned to your study room without the book you set out to get and with a small ache in your chest.

==================================

You began to make it a habit to run into Shauna if you saw that she was working. Attempting to give her a friendly smile or greeting here and there when you could, but her words stayed fresh in your mind. ‘Just because you’re nice to her once doesn't mean she liked you.’ You gave the sentence a lot more thought than you’d care to admit. If at all possible, you were somehow more determined to make her like you after she said that, which you’re sure wasn’t the goal. 

It felt as if every time you caught sight of her, your leg was bouncing up and down like you were an addict experiencing withdrawals. You debated continuing the not-caring act, hoping that your indifference to her dislike towards you would give her pause about the whole thing. Then you thought about being super positive and affectionate, but you’re positive you’d get punched in the face with that approach. 

In truth, you were just desperate for any excuse to talk to her. You’d plan all sorts of things to say or do that would require her to assist you, but you'd always find yourself too nervous to even bother. It became apparent that half of your time in the library was spent working while the other half was trying to find a way to change her mind.

Another rainy day where you found yourself going to the library had you hoping that maybe Shauna would need to borrow your umbrella again. It wasn’t necessarily a great plan; in truth, it was probably the worst plan you had conceived thus far, but it was the nicest interaction you’d had with her, and you wished to replicate it if you could.

After studying for hours, you decide to call it a night and start packing up. The sun was about to set from what you could see from the windows, and the rain had certainly lightened up, which put a wrench in your plan. After packing up your bag, you head towards the front desk, only pausing when you see Shauna at her desk talking to another student.

The girl had an inviting smile while she spoke animatedly to Shauna, and Shauna wore a warm expression with her as well. You couldn’t help the small pang of jealousy that surged through you. She’d never acted like that with you; why would she be like that with this girl that you’d never even seen in the library before? You hadn’t seen Shauna so at ease conversing with someone while she worked. Every other student that you had seen approach her got the same sour expression. Like she was annoyed that anyone would disturb her by asking her to do her job.

Shauna exits from behind the desk and heads off somewhere while the girl she was talking to turns and sits down on one of the benches. You walked up to the desk while Shauna was gone, waiting for her to come back so you could maybe offer up the umbrella, but all you could do was stare at the other girl, who was seemingly waiting for Shauna as well.

She sat, scrolling through her phone, in her rain-soaked ‘Brown University Soccer’ sweatshirt. Her hair was slightly dampened on her forehead as well, but she wore the look so well that you’d think it was intentional. She was a pretty girl, no doubt about that. You could understand why Shauna had a soft smile on her face when she spoke to her. Frankly, you’d think any attention from this girl would be flattering.

Almost as if she felt your eyes on her, the girl looks up from her phone and catches you staring at her. You quickly avert your eyes, but you can still feel hers boring into the side of your face, then quickly raking over you before landing on your hands. She hums slightly, as if she found what she was looking for, before she makes her way over. You can hear the sound of her footsteps approaching you and feel her presence beside you before she speaks up. “Hey, you.”

Her raspy voice and flirtatious tone made you understand Shauna’s warmth towards the girl. You wished you could just stay looking straight, but the girl's acknowledgment made you turn your head towards her. "Oh, you’re cute.” The compliment caught you off guard. The way she said it was slightly like an observation, like she was judging you, and then slightly like she was flirting with you on her own.

“Uh, thank you.” You say it a little hesitantly, hoping it doesn’t come off as ungrateful. She points to your hand.

“That umbrella, it's yours, right?” Shit, you forgot you even had the thing on you. You nod, a little confused at her question, before she throws her arms around you and wraps you in a tight hug. 

“Oh my gosh, you’re the one that let Shauna borrow it! You’re literally a lifesaver. I thought she was gonna come home soaking wet and strangle me.” Though the tone of voice she used was chipper, what she was saying was mildly concerning. She pulls away with a smile, but you guess your hesitance showed on your face as she quickly follows her sentence up with “But she didn’t, obviously.” She reaches out her hand with a smile. “I’m Jackie, Shauna’s roommate.” 

You inwardly smack yourself for being stupid before smiling, taking Jackie’s hand, and introducing yourself. Jackie starts yapping at you as if you were her best friend. You liked Jackie; she was super friendly and upbeat, which was a real switch-up from her roommate.

“I’m surprised I haven't seen you in here; I spend nearly every day in this place.” 

"God, yeah, I don’t come here too much. I came from class and didn’t pack a hoodie or anything, so I dropped by to ask Shauna for a ride home after her shift was over.” In the nicest way, you couldn’t see her spending too much time in the library; you just wish she did. She seems like the kind of person you’d want to hang out with.

“I’m still a little confused; how’d you know it was me that lent it to her?” Jackie scoffs with a smile.

“That stupid little engraving, silly.” If anyone else had said that, you’d have been slightly offended on behalf of your parents, but Jackie had an inflection in her tone that made it sound obviously dumb. Not to mention, she was inherently right. 

“Oh god, you two met.” Shauna’s voice breaks through both of you, making you and Jackie turn to her. She’s got that blue and yellow letterman jacket on now, looking like she was about to head out with Jackie. Shauna looks at you. “What did you need?”

“Shauna, be nice!” Jackie cuts in, scolding her friend, and then looking at you with a smile. You subtly try to hide the umbrella behind your form, suddenly embarrassed at the original plan.

“Oh, just stopping by to say ‘goodnight.’” You feel yourself get a little red with both Jackie and Shauna’s attention on you. They both seem to take the reason at face value, which you’re thankful for because if they questioned you, you’re sure you’d stumble through the excuse. You avert your eyes too quickly to notice Shauna with a small smile, but Jackie doesn’t. When you look back, there’s a neutral expression on Shauna's face, but Jackie has a look of utter elation.

“So Y/n,” Jackie starts. “We have to make plans outside of university; we have to go get drinks or something. All three of us.” She puts emphasis on ‘three’ while pulling Shauna closer to the two of you.

"Oh, Jackie, that’s sweet, but I wouldn’t wanna disturb Shauna outside of office hours.” You say it with a teasing tone, but it genuinely is a fear of yours. Shauna said as much. You weren’t friends. But it seemed that Shauna couldn’t ignore the influence Jackie had.

“No, maybe we should sometime. When the semester calms down, She says it as casually as she can, so you couldn’t dare read into it more than she allowed. She turns to Jackie before you can respond. “You ready to go?” Jackie nods her head like a toddler and starts walking out. It seemed like they were going to leave you behind when she stopped and turned back towards you. “Are you going to walk out with us?”

You’re not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so you happily trot next to them and walk out to the parking lot. You say your farewells to the two girls, Jackie being much more personable than Shauna when saying goodbye, and start heading towards the dorm while they walk to Shauna’s car. As you get further away from the pair, you can faintly hear Jackie squealing at Shauna. “Shauna, she's so cute!” 

“Don’t even think about it, Jackie.”

“Not for me, for you!”

==================================

God, this new schedule was kicking your ass. You had to kick studying into high gear as exams approached. Going to class early and staying late, talking to professors, and spending almost twice the amount of time studying. You haven’t slept properly in days, needing to dedicate any extra time that you have to studying. All those instances in which you chose to study over sleep culminated in the situation you currently find yourself in.

A loud thud beside your ear jolts you from your slumber, and you hazily take in your surroundings. This wasn’t your bedroom; oh god, you fell asleep in the library? You look up at whoever woke you up and see Shauna with a disgruntled look on her face. She gathers up the books she dropped right by your head. 

“It’s past close. Get out.”

“You know, you should really work on your customer service skills.” She gives you a shrug and waits for you to get moving, but otherwise she doesn't acknowledge your slight against her. You try to wipe the haziness from your eyes and adjust. It was a familiar type of feeling, like when you’d fall asleep in the car as a kid and wake up in your bedroom. You’re unfamiliar, a little uneased and so tired still. Looking at the time on your phone, you curse, suddenly feeling so bad about being the reason Shauna was still here so late. “Shit, I’m really sorry; I didn’t mean to keep you here.”

Your actions are slow as you gather up all your books that are scattered around the table in the private room. Shauna had as sympathetic a look as she was able to muster, which wasn’t much given who she was.

“Didn’t sleep last night?” She sounds like she was only half interested in your answer. You shake your head tiredly and sigh.

“Nah, since exams are around the corner, I’ve been taking extra time. And my studying runs too late, so the coffee shop closes before I get out. I can’t function without caffeine and on such little sleep.” She hums at your words and turns to walk away from you once she’s seen that you’ve almost gathered everything. 

“You have drool on your cheek, by the way.” Shauna says, pointing to her own cheek to give you direction. Absolutely mortified, you quickly wipe at your face, trying to dry it. When you look at her again, Shauna smirks at you. You tried to say something in defense of yourself, but you truthfully had nothing. Even if you did, you’d think you were too tired to try.

You brush past Shauna and out the library doors and slowly wander back to your apartment and your bed.

The next day, you were back in the library at about the same time that you arrived yesterday. Only this time, when you went to the study room you always booked, there was a cup left behind with a small post-it note attached to it. ‘Just so you don’t fall asleep in here again, I wanna leave on time - Shauna.’

==================================

Shauna and having a place to study weren’t the only reasons you came to the library, though. Sometimes you were simply looking for reading material. The latest trendy book was making its way through the recommendation lists, and you were finally convinced to get it. The only problem was that the local Barnes & Noble sold out of all their copies. Your friend told you there was a copy available in the library, so you went there to try and find it. You just so happened to be going during Shauna’s hours, which you were unaware of until too late. 

Approaching the desk without sparing a glance at the attendant that was working while you pulled up the name and author of the book on your phone.

“Hi, I’ve been looking for this book, I—” 

"Oh, hey, transfer kid.” The familiar voice startled you. Your voice catches in your throat, suddenly horrifyingly aware that you were about to get Shauna to help you find a cornier version of a Wuthering Heights-type tragic-romance story. 

“You said you were looking for a book?” Your mind goes blank, trying to think of any book title that would make you seem cool and intelligent. You had nothing. You try to hide your phone screen so Shauna can’t see the cover or name, desperately trying to protect her image of you. It being one of those sad romance books, you were positive that Shauna would make fun of you for it. 

After you don't respond, Shauna takes it upon herself to glance at the screen before you can properly hide it.

“Is that the one? Here, lemme see if I can find it.” Shauna gestures to your phone in hand, and you weigh the options. This did seem to be the only way you’d get your hands on a copy, so you hesitantly handed her your phone.

Upon seeing the specific book you were trying to check out, Shauna’s reaction was not immediately making fun of you, which was surprising. Rather, she wore an introspective face before giving you a sympathetic look.

"Oh, sorry, the library copy is out, and there’s a long waitlist.” God, of course you’d embarrass yourself for nothing. Now Shauna would think you were one of those romance novel girls; that’s humiliating. You can’t help but let your disappointment slip into your reaction.

“Dammit, I was actually really looking forward to reading it.” Shauna looks as if she was contemplating something before looking at you with an intent expression. “Wait here; I’ll be right back.” 

She swiftly heads towards the back office of the library, leaving you alone standing at the front desk. You shift momentarily before Shauna returns, a book in hand. As soon as she’s in front of you, she gives the book to you; miraculously, it was a copy of the novel you were looking for. 

“What? No way, you have a copy?” You excitedly grab the book and skim through it. It looked like it had already been read back and forth; the margins on every other page were littered with annotations. It takes only a moment for it to click, and your smile drops. “Shauna, I can't borrow this; it’s yours.” 

You try to hand it back to her, and she steadfastly backs away from your outstretched hand, trying to return the novel to her.

“No, take it and read it. You wanted to.” It’s the most sincere Shauna has ever been with you. Her insistence made you blush. She looks like she knew she won the argument because she smirked at you. “Just promise me you’ll use that bookmark.” Shauna seemed to be more of a romantic than she’d led you to believe.

==================================

After studying for weeks on end, your friends finally convince you to head out to a party for one night. ‘It’s not going to kill you.’ They said. Well, they aren’t waist deep in final projects and essays in their new school. Whatever will shut them up for a few days, and maybe you missed going out a little.

Arriving at one of the already packed sorority houses, your friends disperse to collect alcohol from the kitchen area and leave you alone. If you were going to be away from your desk and unable to study, you were at least going to make the most of it, you supposed. Very quickly, you find yourself wandering around the party, pouring shots of vodka down your throat like water. You’d worry about the hangover when it came, for now you were focusing on the fun. An hour or so passes when you decide to try and find your friends.

Stumbling into a different room, you see a familiar figure off in the corner, nursing her drink and looking into the crowd of people dancing. Shauna was certainly a sight; even in your drunken stupor, you could see she looked stunning. Trading in her usual flannel for an eye-catching red dress, you’re sure due in no small part to Jackie’s insistence.

You approach her, the drink in your hand sloshing as you walk, as she’s still staring somewhere deep into the crowd. You startle her slightly when you speak.

“Hey, Shauna.” You slur out.

“Oh Jesus. Hey.” She clutches her chest slightly before offering you a small smile. She takes you in for a second and scoffs gently. She raises her eyebrow at you, questioningly. “How plastered are you? You smell like a distillery.”

You pout at her, "Oh, come on, Shauna, can’t a girl live?” Shauna rolls her eyes at you and focuses back on the crowd. “I wouldn’t have guessed this to be your scene.” You try. You’re not sure Shauna can hear you; she's staring so intensely in the same direction as before. Your curiosity gets the better of you.

“What’re we looking at?” You try to find out who she's staring at and find Jackie in Shauna’s sight line.

“Trying to make sure that girl doesn't make the mistake of getting back with her ex.” You look next to Jackie and see a blonde boy next to her, eyeing her up and down as she does her best to ignore him.

“Jesus,” You squint to get a good look at the guy. “He looks like he bathes in Axe.” Jackie dated him? She must’ve been doing charity work or something. You grimace at Shauna.

“You can smell him walk into a room before you see him.” She confirms with a smirk. You gag at the thought. You look back to Jackie, who was already excitedly making her way over, leaving her ex behind. As soon as she gets to you, she wraps you in a tight hug.

“Y/n!” She squeals at you as she pulls back from your embrace. “It’s so good to see you! Doesn’t Shauna look great in the dress I picked out for her?” You called it.

“Yeah, she looks great.” You smile at Shauna, who averts her eyes from you, and Jackie just beams.

“See, Shauna? Everyone loves the boob dress.” 

“The what?” Shauna groans at your question. Jackie gestures to the low-cut baby doll dress Shauna was wearing. 

“This lovely dress that I got Shauna last year, which she never wears,” Jackie pouts at her friend. The boob dress was certainly a fitting name for the piece of fabric. “Anywho, I have to run and find someone to kiss so Jeff will stop following me around tonight. Y/n?” Jackie smiles at you, flirtily and invitingly.

“Goodbye Jackie.” Shauna says it firmly, leaving no room for Jackie to debate.

“Aw, no fun, Shippy.” Jackie pouts as she begins backing up. "Okay, bye, Y/n, bye Shauna. Text me when we’re heading home!” And with that, Jackie quickly disappears into the crowd. You turn to Shauna.

“Well—” your sentence is quickly cut off by a large body colliding with yours, sending you flying into Shauna. The smell of Axe fills your nose as the boy follows after Jackie. 

“Jackie, wait up!” Jeff shouts desperately at her, trying to catch up to her.

“I hate him already.” You say as you separate from being pressed up against Shauna. Once you look down, you find your cup empty; the contents spilled all over the front of Shauna’s dress.

“Oh my god, no! We gotta get that out; lemme help.”

You grab Shauna by the hand, leading her throughout the party and into the upstairs bathroom. You begin drunkenly fumbling with the faucet and hand towels, trying to wet them so you can try and dab out the stain the drink would surely leave. Shauna keeps trying to calm you down, but her words drown out as you lightly press the towel against her body repeatedly. 

The room is silent as you get more and more desperate to get the stain out of her dress, if not for Shauna, for Jackie. She was tiny, but she still didn’t seem like the kind of girl you’d want to upset.

“Y/n, seriously, I think you’re taking this way more seriously than you should.” Shauna tries to assure you, but your drunken state can’t let it go.

“God, Jackie’s going to kill me for ruining the boob dress.” You say it only half jokingly, because Jackie may actually kill you for that. The far-off look you gave as you spoke made Shauna burst into laughter. 

You’d never seen her laugh before. The sight was so intimate to you that you felt like you should avert your eyes for her privacy, but you simply couldn’t. You were entranced by her. The moment felt different to you. Driven by all the alcohol in your system, you surge forward and lock lips with Shauna. 

Her lips tasted of the cherry-flavored jungle juice they were serving in the kitchen, and her lips were so soft. But Shauna wasn’t reciprocating. It’s only two seconds later that you realize what you've done. You pull away, and Shauna’s eyes are wide open in shock. You suddenly feel so very sober.

“Shit, Shauna I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that; well, I did, but I thought you felt the same but—” You take a breath from rambling and try to think for a moment. "Okay, wait, let me restart. I really like you. I’ve felt this way for a while. You’re so stunning, and you give me a hard time, but it's never annoying when it’s you. I wanna see if we could maybe go out because I think you’re incredible. Please?” 

The words pour out of you like a fire hydrant. You couldn’t stop the flow if you tried, and the more you said, the more shocked Shauna looked. She doesn’t utter a word; she just stares at you. You’re not sure you’d like what she had to say if she spoke, but any reaction is better than no reaction.

“Shauna?” Shauna glances into your eyes, at your lips, and then runs out the door. It seemed that all at once Shauna regained movement in her body; she was here one second and gone the next, and suddenly you were alone in the bathroom.

“Fuck.”

==================================

 

The following Sunday, you make your way back to the library, mostly to try and smooth things over with Shauna. You really messed everything up. You got caught up in the moment, and she just looked so good. You hoped she’d be able to accept your apology; the guilt was eating you alive, and you really didn’t want to have to go downtown to the city’s library instead.

Walking up to the desk, you found an unfamiliar attendant. There's no sign of Shauna, but maybe she's still in the library somewhere.

“Hi, excuse me, is Shauna working?” You ask the girl. 

“No, sorry.” She gives you a small sympathetic look.

“Oh, well, if she comes in, can you tell her Y/n is in study room 125, and I’d like to talk to her if I can?” You try, hoping that Shauna will come in for a later shift or something. She nods, and you thank her, making your way to the room slightly dejected. It would've been helpful to just talk to Shauna then and there and beg for her forgiveness, but you guess you’ll have to try the hard way if Shauna’s even willing to speak with you.

Every minute feels exponentially longer. You tried to focus on doing some work—any work, in fact—but you just kept glancing at the clock and seeing how much time had elapsed since you got here. The hours ticked by so slowly and so quickly at the same time, and before you knew it, the library was closing.

The final warning tone sounded to signify that the library was closed. You looked out the window of the private room and saw the remaining students filing out of the library until you were the last person. You guessed you’d have to talk to Shauna another night. You begin the process of saving all your work and packing up when your focus is broken by the sound of the study room’s door opening. 

You turn and find Shauna; her eyes already raking over you with an intensity that makes you shiver. She closes the door, still facing you, and leans back against it. You get up from your chair and approach her.

“Shauna, I was looking for you. Listen, I am so sorry. I was so drunk and crossed a boundary.” You try to keep some distance between the two of you so you don’t make her uncomfortable. Her expression was unreadable, with her jaw clenched and her brown eyes holding a scrutinizing gaze on you. You can’t help but feel small in the awkwardness of the moment. You wished the world would swallow you whole with every second of silence that passed between the two of you.

“Did you mean it?” She says, finally breaking the silence. You give her a confused look, not entirely sure what she was referring to. Her gaze hardens on you as she repeats herself.

“All the stuff you said the other night, did you mean it?”

“Well, yeah, but we don’t have to talk about—” She crosses over to you before you can finish your sentence and silences you with her lips. She tugs possessively at your hair with one hand while the other finds solace grabbing at your shirt with a balled-up fist. The action catches you so off guard that you have to think for a moment about how you ended up kissing her again. It doesn't take more than a second to process and place your hands on her waist, pulling her body closer to you.

Shauna mumbles something against your lips that you couldn’t make out, so you continue kissing her. After a second, she pulls back and says it again. “Fuck me, now.” You barely have time to nod your head ‘yes’ before she's attacking your lips again and pulling you towards the study room table.

Once her legs are pressed against the edge of the table, you lift her by her thighs to sit on top of it, never once breaking the kiss as she starts undoing her jeans. Once she has them unzipped, you assist her in tugging them down her legs. You couldn’t help but let a hand wander from her waist down to grip at her newly exposed thighs. The tight muscles in her legs are tensing at the soft caress of your touch.

Her hand on your shoulder makes its way to grab your jaw, and she moves your mouth to her neck. Shauna moans the second you start sucking small hickies onto the skin right under her ear. Her hand slowly snakes over your shoulder, grabbing you by the back of the neck to keep you in place, while the other is managing to strip off her underwear.

Shauna is able to work the fabric down to her knees when she pulls you to her lips again. The kiss was brief, as she pulled away slightly. She grabs your hand and inserts your middle and ring fingers into her mouth, all while holding your gaze. She drags her tongue over each finger, and you could go weak at the sight alone. The feeling of her going over and around each index made you shiver at the sensation. 

She pulls them out and moves them down her body towards the apex of her legs. You didn’t need the instruction; you’d have done it gladly, but something told you she liked the control. So you allowed her to puppeteer your hand any way she pleased.

The second your fingers touched her pussy, you were able to feel just how wet she was, and you resist the urge to tease her because of how badly you needed to fuck her. Shauna groans, her nails digging into the flesh of your neck, as soon as you slide your fingers up her lips, pausing at her entrance.

“Fingers, inside.” Shauna says to you, and you do as you’re told. Sliding into Shauna with no resistance, she sighs, finally satisfied, as you begin slowly pumping in and out of her. Every time you thrust your fingers deep into her, she’d pull your torso impossibly closer to her, leaving you barely any space to move your arms so you could continue fucking her. 

The lewd, wet sounds she made as you pumped were only interrupted by her breathy moans. You want to draw this out as long as you can, beginning to slow down your pace, much to Shauna's anger.

“What are you doing? Why are you stopping?” Her eyes were wide and filled with frustration.

“Say ‘Please.’” You state simply, continuing your slow pace and placing your other hand on Shauna’s waist.

“What? No.” Shauna looks angry; you even asked that of her.

“I wanna hear you say it,” you say, getting close to her ear. “Or else I’ll stop.” You pull back from Shauna with a large grin.

“No way.” You simply shrug and start to remove your hand from between her legs. As soon as you try to move your hand, Shauna clamps your hand between her thighs. It’s only then that she realizes you were being serious. She tries mumbling it against your skin at first, but it doesn’t make you finger her any faster. She even tries grinding her hips against your hand, to no avail, as your hand is holding them steady.

“Beg Shipman.” You look at Shauna with a devilish smirk before sucking hickies onto Shauna’s neck while you wait for her to comply. She simply had no other way to avoid it.

“Please!” It’s a desperate cry. Louder than you expected she’d be, truthfully.

“Shhhh, you have to be quiet in the library. Remember?” Shauna can feel you smirk against her neck in between the open-mouthed kisses you left there. She tried to string together an insult or quip in response quickly, but your thumb doing slow, firm circles on her clit was making her draw a blank. Your hot breath on the side of her neck and shoulders was fogging up her mind even more than she thought possible, and she desperately tried to get out a single coherent thought.

“Fuck y—oh my fucking god.” Shauna’s sentence is cut off by you biting down on her shoulder and picking up the pace once again, faster this time. Her eyes shut in bliss as she held your hand in place between her legs.

After a few more pumps, Shauna’s cumming for you with a gasp and a call of your name. Her nails rake down your back, and you know they left marks even over the shirt you were wearing. Once Shauna opened her eyes again, the hazy look she previously had was replaced with blown pupils. You can’t help the smug grin that overtakes your features.

“Did I seriously hear you say ‘please’ at some point? Shauna, it's wonderful that you’re finally learning your manners.” You smiled at her, and she did not look thrilled at the comment.

Her hand that was gripping onto your shoulder slowly inched up to your face, cupping one of your cheeks. She stared at your lips possessively while she lightly rubbed her thumb across them. 

“I can think of a better use for this mouth instead of you running it.” Shauna pulls you in for a kiss, smirking against your lips and quickly breaking the kiss to direct your head in between her legs.

==================================

 

The next day, when you came to the library and went into your study room, you found yet another coffee waiting for you with another note.

‘Date Friday at 7 p.m. Don’t be late. - Shauna.’

[sugarnspice630]

Happy Halloween - Seonghwa

“You look so pathetic~.”

•pairing: dom!seonghwa x gn!sub!reader

•word count: 3.1k

•tags: mdni, smut, hide & seek game, masked seonghwa, primal pray play, cnc, reader says "no"/"stop" but doesn't mean it, knife play, seonghwa is an absolute menace, degrading + praising, pet names, name calling (whore, slut, etc.), teasing, hair pulling, picture taking after sex,...did I miss anything?

Summary: Reader expressing their need for masked Seonghwa to fuck them and he certainly delivers.

A/N: I tried to keep the pronouns gender neutral the best I could, but there might be a slight fem lean to things! Please let me know what you think! Happy Halloween and happy reading!🎃

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆───

Texting him all day about your crazy thoughts, especially after you saw that clip of him from the Don’t Stop music video behind the scenes where he ripped the mask off his face and stretched his neck while rolling his eyes back, looking super sexy…yeah you know, *that* Seonghwa. You told him you wanted nothing more than for him to use that mask again and hunt you down in the dorm, playing hide and seek, while really wanting him to catch you and have his way with you. Of course, he only fueled your fantasy by saying things like “we’ll see what happens~”, “perhaps later tonight we can have some fun?”, and other provocative things. 

He finally came back to the dorm after his schedules, but the other members were still away for the time being. You ran up to him, eager to not only see him, but to see if what you were telling him earlier in the day would come true. It was Halloween after all, what other perfect time to act like a crazed, masked, serial killer?

“Still wanna have fun~?” You teased as he softly rubbed your back.

“Hmmmmm.” He hums softly and lets go of you. He knew what you were hinting at, but he was just toying with you like he had been all day. You cross your arms and scowl at him, kinda irritated that he had been teasing you for this long and now would not do anything about it. Suddenly, he forcefully grabs your arms and lifts both of them above your head, pushing you back into the wall that was beside you. Your eyes go wide at the sudden action and you feel your face get red. 

“You were saying~?” He growls softly and inched his way closer to your face, the proximity of you two causing extreme sexual tension. Him towering over you, driving you absolutely insane.

“I-I was uh-.” You could barely speak. You gazed up at his eyes and he was staring at you lustfully, looking over every ounce of your body, practically undressing you with just his eyesight. “H-...Hide and Seek?” You manage to get out, completely flustered by your closeness to him. He looks you over a little longer before letting your arms go; they fall to your sides.

“Go,” He says deeply. “15 seconds.” He’s staring at you with deep, hooded eyes. So much seduction is hidden behind them. Your body freezes for only a moment before you shoot him a quick smile and run away from him to find a hiding spot. 

14…Counting down the seconds in your head, the panic sets in on where you can actually hide. 

13…You don’t want it to be too obvious because you want the game to last at least a little bit.

12…Your heart rate is increasing with every second wasted.

11…Think Y/N, think!

10…An idea pops into your head and you immediately move your feet to get there.

9…You find yourself in the kitchen and there is a space below one of the countertops you think you can squeeze into.

8…Crawling down to the floor…7…You squeeze yourself into the little opening…6…it was tighter than you thought, but there is no time to change spots now.

5…You try to calm your breathing to not give your location away…4…You close your eyes, and pray that he won’t find you.

3…2…1

“Ready or not, here I come Princess~.” His deep, seductive voice echoes through the dorm. His tone sends a chill down your spine, but now is not the time to shudder it out. “Should have gone to the bathroom before he got home.” Silently cursing at yourself. Actually uncertain if you have to pee, or it’s the arousal that is slowly brewing within you.

You hear Seonghwa’s footsteps get closer to your general area. You carefully put your hands up to your mouth to silent your breathing. Seonghwa was wearing platform boots that with every step they clunked and the closer he got to your position, you could feel the wooden floor vibrate. Slowly making his way around the dorm, one slow step at a time. Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest, and you can only hope that you are not breathing too heavily as the beating of your heart fills your eardrums. Seonghwa gets closer to the kitchen and you try to hold your breath, to not draw attention to your hiding spot. He taps his fingers across the countertop as he makes his way through the kitchen, a habit he picked up from watching ASMR, which should be peaceful and satisfying, but in fact, is the exact opposite in this situation. The slow tapping of his fingers was replaced with the harsh sound of a knife being pulled out of the knife block, located almost directly above you. You squeeze your eyes shut and feel yourself getting lightheaded from how long you have been trying to hold your breath.

Little to your knowledge, Seonghwa had already seen where you were hiding because of the small crack at the bottom of the counter back piece. He really was toying with you at this point, giving you the most authentic experience. He continues to slowly trudge around the kitchen, enjoying the tiny whimpers you made with every step he took. You felt like you were going to pass out at any second if this continued for much longer. Claustrophobia kicking in, you feel your body getting hot and sweaty, and not because your boyfriend was about to fuck your shit up. Your hands becoming clammy, your throat becoming dry because you dare not try to swallow and have your stupid throat make that stupid airy noise and give away your position. 

Seonghwa rounds the corner where the counters end and is now on the side where he could see you. His footsteps approaching closer, and closer, you try to delicately squeeze yourself further into the space, trying to not make any noise or sudden movements. Your head is now pushed into your knees and you have your head turned to the side where you can see the living room, but also the very edge of Seonghwa’s boot on the floor in front of you. Seonghwa is fully aware you are hiding right below him, but he steps away, giving you a false sense of hope. You squeeze your eyes shut one more time, hoping that he’ll go away and this “nightmare” can be over, but that unfortunately doesn’t happen. You feel a soft 2 taps on your shoulder and you can only sob as you feel your heart sink down into your stomach and your body becomes cold. You’ve been caught. You’re cornered with nowhere to run. Exactly what Seonghwa had wanted.

He grips onto your arm and pulls you out of your hiding spot, definitely gripping hard enough to bruise your skin. You try to squirm away, kicking your feet and slapping at his arms, using your elbows to drag yourself across the floor, back away from him. He only gets closer to you, and you can tell he’s pissed off. You look up at him for the first time since you left his sight, and you are met with a surprise. The mask. He must have somehow brought it home with him and put it on while you were hiding. He grabs your legs and pulls you close to him, his body towering over top of you once again.

“NO!” You scream out, “GET AWAY FROM ME! PLEASE!” If anyone was around, they would genuinely think someone broke in and was robbing you…but no one was there to save you.

“Time’s up little girl~.” He growls as he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, carrying you to his bedroom, or your shared bedroom. You are still fighting for your life in his grasp, punching his back with your fists and kicking your legs, but it’s no use. The grip he has on you is too strong, and not like you really want out anyway.

“S-Stop! Put me down!” You scream out, still flailing your body around as he makes his way to your guys’ bedroom. “PARK SEONGHWA~!” You scream bloody murder, but it has no effect on him. Your vocal chords are for sure going to be shot by the end of the night.

You feel your body get thrown down and thankfully the soft mattress takes away some of the impact. Your body is shaking with fear and you can feel your eyes start to water. Seonghwa slowly makes his way on top of you on the bed, trapping your hips with his legs. You lightly kick your legs to the side and turn your head, hoping to throw his body off of yours, but that doesn’t work. 

“N-No.” You cry out softly as his masked face gets closer to yours. Cowering in fear, you can’t bring yourself to look at him, closing your eyes and turning your head to the side. He tenderly grabs your chin, rubbing his thumb across your lip before twisting his hand harshly so your face is straight back at him.

“Open your eyes.” He demands softly. You open one eye and whimper when you see how close he is and that stupid mask. The mask you once thought was so hot, but now that it was directly in front of you, it was even hotter.

“Y-You don’t have to do this.” You plead, your voice breaking in between words. Seonghwa can feel your body trembling under him and he only smirks, which you can’t see, but you know that he is doing. In fact, you know he had been smirking this whole time. Seeing you scared of him awoke his primal instincts. He had to ruin you. “You're right darling~. I don’t have to,” Speaking softly, taking in the sight of your shaking frame and your watery eyes, “I want to." Those were the last words he said before he started to literally rip your clothes off of you. Throwing the shredded fabric to the side and getting aggravated when things would not come off fast enough. You could hear him groaning and growling anytime a piece of clothing got in his way. Not knowing what else to do besides toss your upper body around to fight it. Trying harder to get away from him and arching your back to again try to throw him off of you. 

“N-NO!” You yell out at him again.

He grips onto your bottoms and pulls them down all the way, leaving you in only your undergarments. Now having enough of your bullshit, he takes one of his hands, grabs you by the hair, and tugs on it. You let out a whimper at the sudden pain. Seonghwa only lowly chuckles at your noises. Your eyes remain closed from when he gripped your hair. You are unaware of the item he just pulled from his pants pocket until you feel a familiar, cold sensation across the skin on your stomach. Your body twitches at the feeling and you open your eyes to see Seonghwa slowly dragging the knife he picked up from the kitchen across your skin and slowly making his way to your top. The tip of the knife dances delicately across your skin, and in no way causing any cuts to your skin, but pressing just enough to leave those little white after trails. Your heart beat increasing for the thousandth time that night. Seonghwa takes notice of your panic and only chuckles to himself before he takes the tip of the blade and pushes it down, not damaging any skin, and lifting your top piece up away from your chest.

“Hope you don’t care too much for this.” He teases before he lifts the top of the blade up and cuts through the fabric covering your chest. Your chest is now completely exposed to the cool air of the room and your nipples get hard. Seonghwa laughs softly as he watches your body change and toys the knife across your skin a little more. 

“H-Hwa please…” You beg him and he only tilts his head to the side, looking at you but not actually looking at you. You watch as his shoulder shimmy up and down from the silent chuckles that leave him.

“As you wish, my love~.” 

You can only watch as he undoes his belt, unzipping his pants and shimmying them just past his hips, enough to get them out of his way. Shaking your head side to side slowly and you feel tears start to well in your eyes. The fear inside consuming you. Seonghwa suddenly lunges forward, his body once again over top of yours. He yanks your underwear off of you, tossing it to the side and pushing your legs back towards you to have access to what he wants. He swiftly pushes himself into your hole and your eyes roll back into your head. He pushes his whole self into you, hearing him groan as he does so and not allowing any moments to get used to the feeling. “S-Stop! P-Please!” He takes the knife and pushes it against your throat as he pulls himself out and shoves himself back into you again. You tilt your head back into the pillows behind you and moan. “S-stop!” 

“But the fun just got started~” He toys as he keeps thrusting himself into you. Your body getting used to the feeling and taking him so well, but you didn’t want him to know that. You wince as he keeps pushing himself deep into you.

“T-This isn't fun!”

“You sure~?” He thrusts his way inside you again and keeps himself there and harshly smacks the side of your hip with his free hand. You can’t help but moan loudly at the feeling and your face gets super red from embarrassment. Seonghwa laughs sadistically as he resumes pushing himself in and out of you at an alarming pace. You take your hands, place them on his chest, and push up into his body, trying to force him off of you yet again. This only causes Seonghwa to push the knife deeper into your neck and shove himself into you forcibly.

“Good try~.” He coos out. You whimper and squeeze your eyes shut. Your body slowly becoming overwhelmed by the force of his thrusts. “Can't hide like that princess~. You already tried~.” Referring back to your match of hide and seek where he pretended not to see you as you closed your eyes, hoping he would disappear if you couldn't see him, but you see where that got you.

“M-mm~! P-please stop!” Your voice becoming hoarse from the screaming and pleasing.

“Fine by me~.” Seonghwa says before he takes himself out of you and for a brief moment you think it’s over and this is where the fun ends, but that moment is short-lived as you feel him grab the sides of your body and flip you over onto your stomach. He repositions himself and shoves himself back into your aching hole. Your face is pushed into the pillow on the bed and your scream is muffled by said pillow.

“God, I love it when they scream~.” Seonghwa growls out as he keeps forcing himself in and out of your body. He takes one of his hands and grabs your hair and yanks your head up off the mattress. His thrust brings tears to your eyes and the pain of him whipping your head back causes a few tears to fall on your cheeks.

“P-please!” You beg, hoping that he’ll hear how broken you are and put this to an end.

“Mmm~. Keep begging~.” Seonghwa moans out as he puts the knife back up to your neck and keeps pushing himself into you. Your breathing stuttered as you feel the knife right against your throat again. You cannot think of anything to say or do, other than panting and breathing out while occasionally letting out moans or whimpers. “Cat got your tongue~?” He teases as he thrusts himself into you slowly, but forcefully.

“N-NO!” You cry out from the pleasure of him now going slower but still treating you rough. He keeps thrusting into you at this nicer pace, but you can tell his thrusts were getting sloppy. He struggled to keep a consistent rhythm. “Fuck!” You moan out loud and bite your tongue immediately after you realize what just came out of your mouth.

“You dirty fucking whore~! Of course you'd like this~!” He pushes your head back down into the bed and keeps fucking you hard.

“N-no! I-!” You whimper out only for it to be muffled by the sheets. Crying loudly at Seonghwa abusing your hole and sobbing into the sheets. You hear Seonghwa groaning and panting, spitting out a few curses here and there. The pleasure builds up inside you, causing you to grip the sheets beneath you and moan loudly.

“S-Stop!”

“I'm boutta cum so wish fucking granted~!” Seonghwa calls out as his thrusts become more sporadic. You are a whiny, moaning, crying mess and you can feel yourself getting close to your release. Just a few more thrusts and you knew it would be over. Seonghwa groans loudly and you can feel his cock twitch inside you.

“F-fuck~ Y-Y/N~!” You moan out loud after he calls out your name and you feel yourself cumming on his cock. Seonghwa pushes himself in and out of you a few more times before pulling out and releasing on your lower back, moaning and panting heavily and rubbing himself through his orgasm. You softly fall forward onto the bed when he removes himself from you, breathing heavily, moaning and whimpering. You feel the bed sink down and Seonghwa is back on top of you. You feel his chest pressed against your back, slightly feeling his heart beating. You open your eyes to see his phone to the side of your face, with both of you in frame.

“Smile for the camera~.” He hums before he poses with his hand on top of your head, grasping your hair and snaps a photo of you two with your fucked out face being the main focus. Leaning back and looking at the photo he just took. You hear him softly laughing behind you. “W-what's...so f-funny?” You stutter through ragged breaths. He gently flips you over and he shows you the photo he just took.

“You look so pathetic~.” He pauses as he takes the mask off his face, the exact same way he did in that video, knowing that is what you have been wanting to see all night, “Happy Halloween whore.”

Tags: @hwalysm @choisanboobenthusiast @wisejudgedragonhairdo @ivehwas @shinestarhwaa

[jolenes-doppelganger]

hi! so I have this idea that won't leave my mind about a fanfic/story between lady jessica x fem! reader. basically reader is part of one of the great houses and she married duke leto because of a political alliance. jessica was already leto’s concubine and paul had already been born too.

the relationship between reader and jessica was never the best one. jessica always had this pet peeve with reader, maybe jealousy because she was married with leto, but reader never wanted to be married with him and never had romantic feelings for him too.

they relationship began to change when they come to arrakis, specifically when they are left in the desert to die (is “saved” by the harkonnen also because he is a member of one of the great houses).

jessica sees the reader as the only thing left of what she called home, then she starts to develop feelings. reader already had some “strange” feelings for jessica, like a devotion/admiration to a goddess.

– s

ps: i’m the same person who requested the jessica x fem! corrino reader.

[Hi Anon! Keeping me busy, I see :)]

Riptides

Lady Jessica x Fem! Duchess Reader

Summary: The past haunts. It puts things both bad and good into perspective. Whether it is to mend or to separate, that is entirely up to the doer.

Warnings: None, just overall angsty. (Hurt + Comfort).

A/N: This work is contrived of ‘ficlets’. Plain text moves linearly, set in Dune II after Jamis has been killed. Italicized text does not move linearly, pertaining to snapshots of the past. R is the sister of Lord Fenring, not shown in the movie. (This is not a white or perceived to be white character, it is as self-insert as possible). I also did my best to lean into realism, (less R admiration of Jessica, more conflict), as it is more my style. !!! I really, really, really, really like exploring true characterization or playing around with characters, so this is a very angsty fic !!! (Alia steals the show, again).

Word Count: 4.2k

Paul was an uneasy sleeper. Looking at Jessica as she twitched in the Fremen tent, you realized just where he had gotten it from. Jessica was coated in sweat. Paul was the furthest away from you. It was a sad truth that neither of them ever really warmed up to you. And how could you blame them? The marriage to House Atreides was nothing you’d ever asked for. It just was. But Jessica couldn’t understand that. And you wouldn’t try to make her understand that. Perhaps if things had gone differently from the start, perhaps if you’d been given the opportunity to make her acquaintance before you were dragged to the marital bed… None of it mattered.

Jessica twitched again, an unpleasant dream. The duke was dead. Your protection was gone, and by some miracle you’d made it with the other two out of the desert and into the path of the Fremen. Paul had fought for his right to live, Jessica had bested Stilgar, then killed Jamis to protect him and his mother’s right in the Fremen, but you? The best you had was the Bene Gesserit training given to all noble women of high ranking houses. A Sayyadina, like Jessica. It put you in a poor place with the Fremen.

“Hnnmm-” Jessica jerked.

You looked at her, analyzing her facial expressions. Her eyes flew open, and she sat up, lunging.

“Jessi-”

Her hands gripped your shoulder as she pushed you down, prepared to strike. The dim light of the eclipse halted her motions.

“Oh.” she gasped.

Her blue eyes were wide, and afraid. It must have been a hell of a dream.

“All this time and I still forget there’s three of us.” 

Loud voices came from inside the Duke’s chambers. He’d called you here, supposedly to meet with Jessica. Your earlier interactions were never pleasant, she was clipped with you.

“Jessica, please. She is a political ally and another route of maintaining peace upon Arrakis.” Duke Leto reasoned with his concubine.

“And a force of contention in this house! She is slow to learn the Fremen ways, slow to develop relationships with the house staff, and worse, her closest friend is a teenage boy.”

“Paul is close to her age it is reasonable-”

“Yes. They are close in age. I wonder why that is.”

Duke Leto didn’t answer, rather he opened the door, gesturing you inside. You wore thin, flowy clothing, similar to the clothing worn in House Fenring. It was far less conservative than Jessica’s, and you supposed that was a mistake in and of itself. The Duke paid no attention to your clothes. One night to seal your marriage, as was custom. The Bene Gesserit had already decided you would not bear an Atreides child. You slept with him the night after your period had ended. No child would have been conceived, no heir above Paul.

“There are three of us in this marriage.” Leto spoke. “For better or worse, we need to remain as one unit,” he made a circular gesture with his hands, “And that cannot happen without work to build the cohesion between the two of you.”

Jessica’s eyes were bright, intense, her mouth drawn into a thinly concealed scowl.

“Lady Jessica,” you began. “If it is my friendship with Paul that worries you, I will end it.”

Jessica gave one last look at her Duke, leaving before she had spoken a word to you. 

Jessica crouched in the sand, taking refuge from the heat in a cluster of boulders. You couldn’t blame her, she was nauseous. The babe produced nausea as it was, but the sight of water collection from several still living Harkonnens couldn’t have made it any better. She looked green, practically, having thrown up in the sand. Stilgar had scooped it into a bag, attaching it to a pack. No waste. But the lack of water wasn’t going to help her.

“Jessica.” you murmured, crouching beside her on the ground. “Here.”

You exposed the straw from your suit, offering it to her.

“I can’t accept it.” Jessica shook her head.

“It’s a gift for my future step-daughter. You can and you will.”

Jessica didn’t really mean it when she refused the water. She knew you’d press the issue, and she’d accept. She needed the water, and you could do without a little water for a little while. The only issue was that it required bringing her face close to you, which she did. The water was warm. The same temperature as your body, but it did the trick. She drank a few mouthfuls of water, more than she needed, but you didn’t object. She’d take what she could get from you, although her mindset was starting to change.

“The young Lady Fenring, sister of Lord Fenring.” Reverend Gauis Helen Mohiam drawled. “The Bene Gesserit have secured you a marriage…”

So that was what she was here for? A marriage was reasonable, you were of the age to be used to further the Bene Gesserit breeding program. 

“There’s a catch.” the Reverend spoke, holding her hand up to prevent you from assenting. “The union is childless.”

Your mouth snapped shut. A childless marriage? What kind of a thing was that? The Bene Gesserit was better off training you to be a junior reverend than marrying you to a man without birthing a child. What of the breeding programme? What of the needed changes to be made to the bloodlines with the Atreides resistance?

“You will be our spy. There are many eyes upon House Atreides, but we need eyes from inside.”

“What of Lady Jessica, your reverence?”

Helen Mohiam chuffed at that.

“Lady Jessica has served her own purpose since she fell in love with her Duke. One of my best pupils, one of my worst failures. You are young, unswayed by the love of men, swayed by the approval and service to your sisters of the Bene Gesserit. You will serve us well there.”

Taking a breath in, you nodded once.

“I assume Lady Jessica is not to be made aware of this?”

“Lady Jessica should never know of the master you serve. Your duty is to play the role of a jealous wife. Distance between Jessica and you is the only way our intel can be confirmed. Do not get close. Never, ever, give her reason to suspect you are anything but madly in love with the Duke Atreides.”

“You never cried over my father.” Paul murmured to you, sitting on a dune during nightfall.

It was peaceful tonight. The dunes of Arrakis were calm, without wind whipping over the sand, without the whirr of Harkonnen machinery.

“The Fremen don’t waste water. We are Fremen.”

“No. Before. In the tent we slept in before Duncan found us, you did not cry. You were scared, and upset, but you…”

“I never loved your father. I was his wife in name and rank. But I never loved him.” you admitted, not looking at him.

Paul went quiet. He was a deep thinker, like his father. An inner monologue that only they were privy to playing in their head at all moments, a monologue that very rarely came to the surface.

“I knew your father for six months. We were married in a time of great uncertainty for your house, a time of great uncertainty for the Bene Gesserit and Landsraad. There was no time to love him. But I respected him.”

Paul gave a bob of his head. There was sand in his hair. You reached over, shaking it clean. His hair was getting long.

“You need a haircut.” 

“The Fremen don’t all have short hair.”

“Long hair on the warmest part of your head, the head that is most directly exposed to the sun, is a poor idea. Give me your crysknife.”

“It’s ceremonial.” Paul corrected, offended. “And Jessica has long hair, as does Chani.”

You sighed. That it was. They were only drawn when someone was to die, or when handed down from one individual to another. It would be borderline sacrilegious to use it for a haircut. Chani had thick hair, like the Fremen, and Paul had thick hair too, but he was complaining of headaches, from adjustment to the desert climate, you assumed.

“I’m cutting it off.” you decided.

One of the fremen had an iron knife, generally used for cooking. You cut Paul’s hair, leaving the top of his head longer and the sides short. You bagged the hair.

“Do you want to keep it?” you asked the boy.

“Hair doesn’t hold water.”

“It’s said to hold memory.” you murmured. “Do you want to keep it?”

Paul shook his head. He had enough memories in his head to remain unbothered with those from a scrap of hair.

“I’ll keep it.” Jessica murmured, reaching forward for the bag of hair.

She tucked it away in a pouch on her stillsuit. She seemed equally sentimental as she was a bit sad.

“I had a trimming of his baby hair.” Jessica murmured, brow furrowed. “It would have been burned with the rest of Arrakeen.”

You looked up at her, and then nodded once. A box of sentimental items was something you and Jessica seemed to share. Both went up in flames with the Arrakis city. The only thing left of your lives before being the both of you and Paul. Jessica settled beside you, sitting on the dune with you. She was deep in thought, and for good reason. The past was a territory she chartered regularly, for better or worse. 

“Were we ever competing for Leto?” Jessica asked, voice soft, and yet tinged with a scratchiness caused by water retention.

The thought itself was a sad one, and a bit difficult to answer. The Bene Gesserit order had dictated that you play the role of the devoted spouse. It was under their orders that you’d romance Leto, vying for his attention, for his trust, for his innermost thoughts; those that were not as secret as he may have believed. Perhaps you’d played a role in the downfall of House Atreides? No. Not perhaps. The information you’d provided the Reverend Mother had led to the Emperor’s decision to exterminate House Atreides. Of course you had never known it was the plan of the order, but… How much of the fall of House Atreides were you responsible for.

“I…”

Tears sprung in your eyes. Tears you couldn’t cry, a waste of a body’s water. And yet your chest ached. The muscles in your throat contracted painfully, and you blinked rapidly to dispel the tears. Tension grew in your lungs as your body fought against sobs.

“Oh.” Jessica said.

Oh.

Oh? That was all?

Leto rolled in his sleep, wet breath ghosting over your bare shoulder. You’d assumed he’d leave after the marital act, returning to his bed with Jessica, but he hadn’t. Rather, the man had slumped over into the bed, closing his eyes and letting out a weary sigh, as if to say ‘it’s done’. There was wetness between your thighs; wetness that you weren’t responsible for. Sure, you’d forced your body into being wet enough to take the Duke of House Atreides, but this particular remnant was not yours. It disturbed you.

The cool of the washroom felt heavenly, and you were grateful for the stone walls and the shades over the windows. Castle Atreides was wet, the rain of the ocean planet keeping a humidity in the air that would corrode traditional drywall. Not that the staff didn’t keep things spotless, but in most other circumstances, one could have fretted over black mold.

“What are you doing?” a deep baritone voice ghosted in the bathroom.

You were in the middle of scrubbing your skin clean, trying to rid yourself of the act.

“... Bathing.” you answered the Duke Leto.

He stared down at you for sometime.

“I shared the post-coital bath with Lady Jessica on our first night.” he mused.

“I am not her.” you replied, voice taut with a bit of discomfort.

Leto nodded, and without waiting for permission, he stepped inside the bath with you. It was a show of equality, giving you what he had given her. But it was wrong, in a lot of ways. You didn’t deserve his equality, even though the Bene Gesserit tasked you with taking more than equal share of his love.

“Does my age bother you?” Leto finally broke the silence.

“No.” you answered quickly. “It’s not about age, it’s about-”

“-Duty?” Leto cut you off.

You nodded once. The Duke of Caladan was attractive. No question about it. A chiseled jaw, a firm, strong build and commanding manner, he looked good for his age. Better than some men your age. There was appeal in his maturity, but appeal was besides the point.

“Should I expect this again?” he asked. “Should I expect to begin… Conception efforts?

The very words made you want to crawl out of your skin, and it was apparent on your face. So apparent was your discomfort that Leto let out a raspy laugh, shaking his head.

“So that’s a no.” Leto answered his own question.

“The Bene Gesserit wish that Paul remain the sole heir to your house.”

“They won’t have you bear even a daughter?” Leto asked in confusion.

You took a breath. Discussing the aims of your Sisterhood was not something you were allowed to do, but something Leto was confident enough in doing. It was because of Jessica. She had given him too much power, too much knowledge. Hence why he questioned you with such brazen authority.

“The aims of my Sisterhood are not to be discussed with my husband.”

“Well then I expect the same.” Leto darkly murmured.

The same? The concept baffled you. To speak about the Bene Gesserit to your husband was, by nature, against your orders. And to speak of your husband to the Bene Gesserit was your duty. 

“I… Cannot give you that.” you murmured.

“I will annul the marriage.”

The thought frightened you. For you to lose the marriage to House Atreides was of the highest failure. You would lose so much. Political rank, status in the Bene Gesserit… It could mean exile.

“Please, this is my duty we are discussing. I wouldn’t even be married to you without the Bene Gesserit.” you tried to explain.

“No, no you would not. And I wouldn’t even need the political stability from this marriage if it wasn’t for the Bene Gesserit. If you damn me with your meddling, I have no choice but to damn you.” Leto spoke, authoritarian commands reverberating off of the wall.

He was your husband, yes. But this was the Duke of Caladan and House Atreides you were talking to. He was a powerhouse, a force that could do just short of bending wind to his aims.

“I have a people to protect, a son.” Leto continued, eyes ablaze with ruthless determination. “You are new to this house. If it comes between choosing my son and my family’s protection over political stability, I will make that choice. Now promise me that you will not speak of me to the Bene Gesserit.”

“Duke Leto...”

“Promise me!”

His voice echoed off of the stone walls, crashing into you again and again. Your lower lip trembled. Duke Leto Atreides was not a bully, but he was a father. And sometimes those lines could blur.

“I promise.” you whispered, eyes wide and afraid.

Duke Leto visibly slackened in the tub, taking a deep breath in and releasing it. 

“I’ve scared you. I will take my leave of you, if that is what you wish.”

You gave one small nod, and Leto stood, leaving the tub and exiting the washroom. Perhaps if he’d maintained that iron grasp over you from the first night, perhaps if he’d inspired love, devotion, trust in him that Jessica had been privy too for over a decade… Perhaps if you had kept your promise, none of this would have happened.

The sietch was quiet. Unnaturally so. Jessica could feel the humidity with every breath she took. She hated it, for a myriad of reasons. Namely because it was like some perverted, hellish imitation of the humidity of her home Caladan. Not one breath she took had the cool taste of salt, all of it stank of bodies. Her stillsuit was a natural filter, and it sucked the moisture off of her skin, mostly. The residual moisture to cool the body made her feel itchy. All the time.

Paul was sleeping. He was an unusually light sleeper, always had been. But in the Fremen ranks, he slept deeply. It meant something, his relaxation, but Jessica was too bereaved to care on this particular night. Bereaved by the loss of Leto, the loss of her home world and safety, but also by the second body that lay beside her. Jessica was disturbed by the Duchess Atreides, former Lady Fenring, not to be confused with Margot Fenring. Paul had brought up a point, about her crying. The Duchess had never cried, not once. The despair of the burning city of Arakeen, the death of Duke Leto, the confusion and panic; none of it had brought a tear to her eye. But that simple question over competition had brought out an almost haunted reaction from her, and fostered a sadistic fascination inside Jessica. Jessica knew the language of the body. She knew the cues and the faces one might make in different emotions, she’d been taught this. The duchess had been ashamed. Guilty, crippled with some unseen burden. Perhaps it was time that Jessica dug into that.

“I can hear you’re awake.” Jessica murmured, reaching up to stroke a hand through her companion’s hair.

The gesture itself was false. Jessica wasn’t intending to be kind, or comforting at this moment. She wanted answers.

“I can’t sleep.” came the response.

Jessica hummed at this, turning her body to rest against [Reader]’s, spooning the young woman from behind.

“Why?”

You could feel Jessica’s breath on your neck. It was fainter than Leto’s had been. Everything she did, every movement or question the woman asked, it was dissected by you. A game of analysis, the both of you brushing hands in tender show of affection while each sheathed a knife under their sleeve. It was an exhausting and all too familiar game. And perhaps one worth burying, along with the dead.

“It’s my fault that Leto is dead.”

Jessica stiffened, and you could hear the audible slowing of her breath. 

“Explain.” 

There was no time to gather your thoughts. Not these thoughts, anyways.

“The Bene Gesserit tasked me with reporting information regarding House Atreides and their affairs. I told them everything about the Duke, about Paul and about you. For six months.” you admitted, voice growing progressively unsteady as you continued.

It was so difficult not to cry, and you were consumed by grief, guilt, shame. Too consumed to pay attention to the cues Jessica gave as she processed your statement.

“Do you think we didn’t know?”

The sentence was so soft spoken, you almost didn’t catch it.

“What?” you whimpered.

A hand cupped your face. Tenderly, without an ulterior motive.

“Did you think that Leto and I did not guess that you were reporting information back to the Bene Gesserit?” Jessica repeated, voice gentle.

“But I promised him I wouldn’t.” 

Jessica smiled, a soft, achingly sad smile.

“Yes. You promised him, a false promise given under coercion through fear and threat of political exile and potential deposition. I was a Bene Gesserit first, you must remember this. Your loyalty to the Sisterhood was something we factored in, everything we did under your eyes was, in essence, filtered.”

Filtered? They’d been showing you a reality that hadn’t been true? Your breath caught as you processed, hardly breathing as further thoughts raced through your head, memories crowding outward. Did this mean that you never knew them, for all this time? That you never knew your Duke? The man you were wedded to, the man you could’ve loved… You’d never even gotten a fair chance at love with him. Jessica had stacked the odds in her favor before you’d even begun playing the game. Not one moment of affection from him could be trusted, some of the memories you were just now learning to cherish, it had all been a lie.

“No, no, don’t waste your water!” Jessica whispered, desperately trying to prevent you from crying.

It was too late. Tears streamed down your cheeks, salty and concentrated with all kinds of neurotransmitters and other various compounds. Jessica, for her credit, thought fast. Her lips pressed over your cheeks, working quickly to collect the moisture.

“No…” you sobbed.

Jessica cradled your head with one hand, holding your body to her with the other. This was the grief she’d been searching for, the pain. And it wasn’t as satisfying as she wished it could have been. Sure, the games she’d played against you had been for the good of her family, for the good of Atreides, but it wasn’t easy hurting people. It wasn’t easy throwing them under, like a riptide ghosting over the shores of Caladan. But for better or worse, the outcome was the same. You’d both lost things in the feud, in the deceit. Jessica had lost her husband, a husband outside of traditional binds, a husband of the soul. You’d lost your livelihood, your innocence, your… 

As Jessica held you in her arms, she realized just how alike the two of you were. How different things could have been if you met under different circumstances. Jessica didn’t have many allies now. No political connections, no ties to the desert planet and peoples. She had a son, fifteen and burdened with a peculiar, tortured purpose. Jessica had a fetal daughter, stirring and swimming about as she developed, too young to know the danger that awaited. And finally, Jessica had this woman in her arms. A Bene Gesserit, a powerful young woman whom Jessica could work with. An ally, perhaps. A companion, most certainly. A reason to move forward with haste.

“Jessica.” she heard you whimper.

Leaning down, Jessica smiled softly, cupping your face. There was a tear on your upper lip. 

“Yes?”

Another tear fell, but Jessica would wait to collect it, wait for you to speak.

“I’m sorry. For everything.”

She leaned down, collecting the freshly fallen tear on your cheek, and then lower. A soft kiss, the brush of her tongue over the wet upper lip concealed with the plush of her mouth.

“I’m sorry too.”

Her head dipped to yours, and for the first time, Jessica could feel a twin heartbeat, low and rapid. Alia’s tiny, six week heart had begun to beat.

Epilogue

“Alia!” you shouted, chasing after the toddler.

Even with Alia’s higher consciousness, she was young, rambunctious, and as fond as her mother is of games.

“Can’t get me!” Alia squealed, darting through the sietch, moving so fast you could hardly keep up.

The little tot was small, blonde haired as Jessica would have been at her age, and fast. But the robes she wore, the robes of the Sayyadina, were a bit too long for her, meant to grow with the little warrior child. She tripped, and went sprawling over the stone floor of the sietch. Alia cried out, breath immediately speeding up in her body’s attempt to formulate a reactionary cry.

“Oh, honey.” you spoke, wrapping the toddler up in your arms.

Her brown eyes were wide and teary, and she did her best not to sniffle. Alia was, after all, an adult in the body of a child. But that child’s body was filled with child emotions and feelings. Falls hurt a lot, and this fall was probably the worst Alia had experienced so far.

“Hurts.” Alia whimpered. “Can’t… ‘M gonna cry.”

You chuckled, kissing her soft cheeks as the child tried not to cry. You found the scraped knee, gently kissing that too. Soft footsteps came behind you, and two hands encircled your shoulders as Jessica crouched down.

“Did someone fall?” Jessica asked, tone sincere and non-patronizing.

“Yes.” Alia stuck out her bottom lip.

Jessica chuckled, gently taking Alia from your arms. Both you and your companion gently worked to bring Alia down from the pinnacle of tears, soothing her sore knee with kisses. Alia was adorable like this. It was the only time she ever let the two of you baby her.

“Mommies?” Alia asked. “Love you.”

You both smiled, taking terms kissing over her face as she squealed in delight. It was a soft moment during tense times. 

“Alia, should we attack Momma with kisses?” Jessica fake-whispered to Alia.

“YES!” Alia screeched, little hands grabbing at your face as she kissed all over your face and hair. 

Jessica was right with her, holding you in place and kissing over the bridge of your nose, your cheeks, your chin, your neck. And as Alia pulled away to giggle, she snagged your jaw in her hands, pressing a firm kiss to your lips.

“Eww!!!” Alia whined.

Jessica chuckled, and you both doubled down, kissing each other more passionately to mollify the little toddler beneath you. But as you pulled away, you both felt Alia’s hands on your faces, and a wry grin on her tiny cheeks.

“Mommy’s turn!”

Both you and Alia pounced on Jessica, covering the usually stoic woman with kisses until she shrieked with laughter. Time healed a lot of wounds. And the past was something you cherished, almost as much as you cherished the present. Alia made sure of that.

Tags: @ilovehotactresses, @marvelwomenrule, @coffee-is-my-oxygen, @bjoerkumlaut, @lovelyy-moonlight

[Send a message/ Ask/ Comment on taglist found on pinned page to be added!]

[wolfjackle-creates]

Answer My Call Chapter 2 Part 1

What's this? Two posts for WIP Wednesday??? I said I was gonna spoil you guys. Now, I originally planned to do Carry Your Heart. Figured the top and bottom choices from the WIP Wednesday poll would be fun. But both stories are at a point where Danny is taking Jason to Frostbite and I just didn't feel like writing the same scenario twice, even if the details and POV are totally different.

So I went to the third place option.

If you want a say in what I work on this week, check out the poll!

Story Summary: Jazz, Sam, and Tucker manage to help Danny escape the GIW, but they can't follow him and are under too much surveillance to communicate with each other. Sam snuck Danny a phone as he ran and Jazz sends him a text every day, hoping to hear he is all right. But he's not the one getting the texts.

Jason was away for several months on a mission with the Outlaws. When he finally returns home, he is surprised to find dozens of messages from an unknown number begging a Danny to tell her he's okay. Looks like there's not going to be a break between missions this time around.

Chapter 1: AO3 (user locked), Tumblr

Word Count: 1.5k

-----

Jazz tapped her finger on her phone as she waited for the Dunkin employee to call out her order. Red Hood was supposed to arrive any minute. She’d left her dorm a full two hours ago and led Agents K and O on a merry chase through Boston before finally losing them at Quincy Market. Then she’d doubled back and was now near Northeastern. She had no reason to be here, so hopefully it’d take a little longer to track her down.

And that’s when she felt it—a ghost or liminal was nearby.

Pushing his way in the building was a tall man with a red beanie covering dark hair. He had on an unbuttoned flannel jacket over a Dumpty Humpty T-shirt and jeans with a backpack slung over one shoulder. He glanced around before his eyes settled on her and he grinned.

“Hey, Jazz, right?” He held out his hand. “I’m Todd.”

Jazz couldn’t say anything and just stared in horror. Red Hood couldn’t be liminal. Had she just led another liminal to the guys in white? Did he even realize he was considered an ecto-entity under the anti-ecto acts she’d introduced him and Red Robin to?

“Jazz? Are you okay?” he asked, dropping his hand.

“Order for Jazz!” called out the barista.

Jazz shook herself and grabbed her drink with a smile for the employee. Then she grabbed Todd’s elbow and dragged him over to the tables.

“Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting—” she cut herself off. She had no idea what he knew and what he didn’t. And the agents could come get them at any moment. Instead she pulled out her phone started turning off every security setting. “Never mind. Do you want anything?” she asked with a gesture at her own drink.

“I’m all right. But, are you? What happened?”

Jazz let out a laugh; if the way Todd’s eyes widened was any indication, it was a tad more hysterical that she would’ve liked. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened.” She looked down at his shirt. “My brother loves Dumpty Humpty, you a music fan?”

He seemed nonplussed at the topic change but shrugged. “Sure. Music is good, but I stole this shirt from one of my brothers. I don’t know if I could name a single song by them. How about you?”

Jazz grinned and forced herself to relax as she logged out of her school email on her phone. “I’m a huge fan of any sort of self-expression, including music. Actually, my plans for tonight involve music, so I hope you like the indie scene. Might be a bit intense for a first date, but I’ve always figured, why not jump right in? Show ‘em the crazy from the start and see if they can keep up.” She leaned forward over the table and winked at him. “Think you’ll be able to keep up?”

Todd played the game perfectly and looked her up and down like they really were about to start a first date. “With you, sweetheart, I’ll follow anywhere you lead.”

Jazz laughed and stood. “Come on, then. We’re going on an adventure.”

Todd grinned and joined her. “Lead the way.”

Once out of the building, Jazz led them away from the university. This being Boston, it wasn’t long before they came across a homeless man begging on the side of the street.

Wincing internally, she gripped Todd’s arm and said loudly, “Honestly, I don’t know why the cops don’t do a better job of keeping away the beggars.”

Todd looked at her in surprise. “What are you talking about? They have a right to exist and we should help them.”

“They’re probably fine. Everyone knows they only use the money they’re given on drugs and alcohol.” She pretended to glance at her phone before reaching back to shove it in her back pocket. Only to miss so it fell to the ground. “Ew, he’s looking at us. Come on, let’s cross the street.”

She could feel the way Todd tensed at her words, but he let himself be led across the street.

As soon as they were out of hearing shot, he turned to her and hissed, “What the hell was that?”

Jazz glanced back and saw the man picking up her phone. She looked away before he could catch her looking. “Come on, I’ll explain.” She grabbed Todd’s hand and led him down an alley to a much busier street. “I had to ditch my phone. I logged out of everything and left it unlocked so he can use it or resell it. I needed to make sure he wouldn’t try to return it to me and, well, what better way than being the worst person you can imagine?”

And now he was staring, open mouthed.

“They’ve had remote access to my phone for months and I couldn’t let them track us!” she insisted. Habit had her looking around for any sign of a white suit.

“Who can’t find us?”

Jazz shook her head. “The guys in white. Look, this is too public. I can’t say much else here. But meeting you, everything had to change. You’re in danger just by being near me and I refuse to be the reason you get hurt.”

“Why am I in danger?”

“Later!” Jazz hissed before wincing and looking around. She forced a smile back on her face and asked, in as normal a tone as she could manage, “What time is it? Do you know?”

He looked down at his phone. “Uh, looks like it’s almost five.”

“Oh great! Plenty of time for us to get something to eat before I bring you to our surprise destination.”

And from there, Jazz led Todd on a convoluted tour of Boston. They grabbed food at the Pru, then she took him to the green line. Where they traveled four stops before she jumped up in feigned surprise that they were on the wrong branch. So then they got off and hopped on the train going in the opposite direction.

Which was where she wanted to be going all along.

For once, she was happy the orange line was still under construction, because the shuffle of passengers from trains to buses and back just made their journey that much more complicated and harder to follow.

By the time they finally got to their stop, the sun had mostly set. The station was mostly empty and Jazz looked around for any sign of white suits or vans, but even when she didn't see any, she couldn't relax.

“Where are we going?” Todd asked for probably the dozenth time.

Jazz rolled her eyes. “We’ll be there in five minutes and then you’ll find out.”

She led him to the street, the crosswalk had lights over it, but the rest of the road was shrouded in darkness. They ran across without waiting for the walk symbol.

Once they crossed what was basically a divided highway, Jazz led them along the poorly lit and cracked sidewalk. Ahead of them they were approaching a river.

“It’s before the river,” muttered Jazz to herself. “Is this it?” She hesitated at the top of a sloping, unpaved drive that led to an industrial building that sat on the waterfront. “I think so. Apparently this building used to be a coffin factory. Cool, huh?”

“I don’t care for coffins,” was Todd’s terse reply.

Jazz flinched slightly. She knew he was death-adjacent. Should’ve known better than to mention coffins. “Right, sorry. Well, they aren’t made here anymore.” She made her way down the steep drive, Todd a step behind her.

“What is it now?”

“Apartments, I believe.”

Once at the bottom, she looked around and saw the old loading dock. Entering, she looked for the door on the left.

Only to hesitate once more. Two doors were on the left. She hadn’t heard anything about there being two doors. Taking a chance, she opened the first one.

Inside was a table where two women sat in front of a metal box. On the wall were a set of pegs already mostly filled with coats. And inside milled probably thirty or forty people.

The women smiled at Jazz. “Hi, have you two been here before?”

Jazz shook her head and pulled two twenties out of her wallet. “No. But I had a classmate come here and tell me about it. When I realized you had something going on tonight when I had a date? Figured it was a great place to come with my partner!”

She laughed. “We’re definitely unique here at the Night Cap.” She stamped their hands. “Show starts in half an hour, but feel free to mingle until then. Bathroom’s through the kitchen.”

“Thanks! We’re looking forward to tonight.”

Todd nodded his own thanks and followed Jazz into the room.

“What are we doing here?” he whispered in her ear.

“Hiding,” she whispered back. “I’ve never been here before. Never even taken this stop on the T before. When we leave here, we’ll get a motel room or something and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Is this necessary?”

“Without a doubt.”

Jazz could tell Todd didn’t fully believe her, but he dropped it. Jazz found a few people who were discussing that evening’s performers and the two of them joined the conversation.

-----

Part 2

I no longer do tag lists, but please check out the Subscription Post if you want notifications when I update.

So, I had a lot of fun with this section. The place Jazz takes Jason to? Real place. Though Night Cap isn't what the residents call it. Honestly, the real name is also impossible to google. If you don't know it exists, you would never find it (why Jazz runs from the GIW there). Out of respect for the residents of the apartment, though, I changed the name. I went to a show there and it was super weird trying to find it. Like, the directions in my email seriously said "enter the loading dock of the former coffin factory, find the door on the left, and slip the person standing there $10-20 cash. Don't touch anyone's personal belongings, please."

As we waited for the bathroom during set break, two of the residents were cooking dinner at the stove and we were chatting about how Regan was the worst.

10/10 would go again.

Anyone who has spent any time in Boston knows what I mean about the T being under construction. Annoying as hell, but it worked out for Jazz this time.

(The T is the name of the Boston train/subway system.)

The Pru refers to the Prudential building. The bottom level(s) are full of restaurants and shops (basically a high end shopping mall) and upper levels are offices. The top level is an observation deck that's open to the public, though I've never been.

[here2bbtstrash]

it's sweet (explicit)

genre: a fluffy lil sickfic

pairing: taehyung x reader

summary: you forgot to call out sick from your dick appointment, but he stays anyway.

word count: 4.3k

contains: no smut just fluff????? new year new me 😎 but as this is fuckbuddies to maybe-lovers and there are certainly a few references in here to sex, because of who i am as a person, it's enough that i'm tagging it explicit anyway lmao. but this is all fluff! reader has the flu, tae is a sweet sweet boi and takes care of her, it's all a bit sappy~ 🤧

A/N: happy new year!!! and a very happy belated birthday to my capricorn prince 💜 this soft little idea got stuck in my brain and wouldn't let go, and i had a lot more fun writing it than expected. plus i feel like i only wrote tae as a menace in 2022 (sorry to tae 👹) so i had to right my wrongs with this one lmao. it was a nice interlude before i jump into LDOMLT ch11 (the final chapter 😭) - i hope you all enjoy and that your 2023s are off to a pleasant start!!!

read on AO3!

~*~

You genuinely enjoy being single.

With your last relationship officially in the trash, you’ve found yourself settled into a comfortable peace. There’s no man in your life to mess up your plans, to force you to have to compromise or share anything, to suck up your energy and domestic labor like some kind of emotional vampire. You can do what you want, whenever you want, and you have a reliable rotation of both sex toys and fuckbuddies to keep you physically satisfied when the need arises.

Being single, you have come to learn, is fucking great.

Except when you get sick.

A knock at your apartment door drags you out of your DayQuil-induced slumber. You move to sit up with a sniffle before letting yourself drop back into your veritable nest of blankets on the couch, struck with the immediate recollection: it’s just the food you ordered. You’d specifically put in a request that they leave it at the door, but maybe the delivery person is just being nice and letting you know it’s there.

Except then they knock again.

And ring the doorbell.

“Jesus,” you groan to yourself, aggressively enough that you’re nearly sent into a fresh coughing fit, but you manage to choke down the spasm in your lungs as you drag yourself to standing. You cross the short distance from your couch to the front door, sure you look like death warmed over, and swing the door open.

At first, you’re certain it’s the DayQuil fucking with you.

“Taehyung?”

The corner of his mouth pulls up as he blinks sweetly at you, expressive almond eyes peeking out beneath untidy dark hair— extra fluffy today, like he’s just washed it and waltzed out of the house without any styling. His clothes tell the same story, a plain gray hoodie and joggers, creased a little like he’d just pulled them off his bedroom floor, though everything looks fresh off the runway on him.

As your eyes trail down his frame, you take in the container of ramen you ordered, held easily in one of his large hands, his long fingers hooking over the side.

His presence is typically a welcome one, particularly on Friday nights like tonight, but those are circumstances where you tend to be a little more… put together. So why is he here tonight?

“When did you start working for D—”

The food delivery service name dies on your tongue as your thoughts finally catch up with your mouth. He’s here tonight because it’s Friday, and this is what you do on Fridays. He’s here because you didn’t cancel. You’d had the thought in a drowsy half-awake state between naps, then had promptly rolled over and pressed your face into the pillow, telling yourself you’d remember to text Taehyung when you woke up.

Which of course, you did not. And so here he is, having clearly intercepted your delivery. And, it now occurs to you, having to witness how absolutely godawful you must look in your stained sweatpants, your hair surely a mess from a day spent napping on the couch.

“Oh fuck,” you mutter, quickly crossing your arms over your baggy t-shirt, suddenly very aware of the fact that you’re not wearing a bra. Why that matters when you’re standing in front of a man who regularly leaves hickeys all over your tits, you’re not sure, but in this moment it somehow feels like it does.

“Tae,” you take a step back, trying to keep him out of your germ radius. “I’m so sorry, I forgot to text you. I’m super sick, I think it’s the flu. You should go.”

He frowns a little, his eyes jumping from you down to the takeout container in his hands. “This is like, barely warm.”

That makes you smile a little despite yourself. A very Taehyung greeting.

“Yeah, well.” You roll your eyes. “I pay twice as much so it can take an hour and be cold by the time it gets here. Makes sense, right?”

His dazzling smile at your sarcastic remark only heightens your own self-consciousness, and you quickly extend a hand for the container.

“Sorry to make you come all this way. Hopefully next week I’ll be back to normal.”

Taehyung nods, yet makes no move to hand over the soup he’s currently holding hostage. “You should rest. Let me heat it up for you.”

You can’t help but wonder what he expects to happen when he crosses the threshold, and that makes you heave a sigh, then quickly bury the cough that chases after it into the crook of your elbow.

Thankfully your voice doesn’t give out when you manage to answer him. “I’m serious, Tae. I’m not—” you pause, considering how to phrase it: desperate to be railed? “—you know, the way I usually am on Fridays. Nothing’s gonna happen tonight. Except maybe you’ll get sick.”

He shrugs, like there are worse things. “I get it. But you shouldn’t be alone.”

At least he’s been sufficiently warned, you think to yourself, and then you relent, leaving the front door of your apartment swung wide as you step back across the living room to promptly collapse onto the couch again. You bury your face in the blankets with a muffled groan as you hear Taehyung shut the door behind him, then make his way into the kitchen.

As is typical with any man that enters your kitchen, you expect to have to walk Taehyung step-by-step through how to do everything. But, to your surprise, he asks no questions: he seems to find a good-sized pot and figure out how to work the stove all on his own, and you can hear him humming softly to himself as he goes.

Truly a credit to the male species, you think to yourself with a bitter laugh.

You collapse back against the cushions, a little too aware of the fuckbuddy in your kitchen to be able to drift off to sleep entirely. Nevertheless, you still find yourself slipping into a haze, your eyes dropping shut just to snap open again at the tap of a bowl being set down on the coffee table in front of you.

Your eyes widen as you sit up and stare down at your ramen, only to find two halves of a soft-boiled egg staring back up at you. You’d ordered from your favorite place in the city, which is easily the best ramen you’ve had in your life, but you know those fuckers charge extra for an egg. Which is why your cheap ass never orders one.

But here one is. So that means…

Taehyung drops down onto the couch next to you before you can even finish compiling the thought in your brain, but he must be able to read the look on your face. “Oh, do you not like eggs?”

“I— no,” you answer quickly. “I mean yes. I mean, I like them, I just… Thank you.”

You glance up in time to see him shrug, his mouth twisting a little, like he’s suddenly made shy by his own kindness. “Gotta get your protein in,” he offers casually, and you laugh over the steam rising up from your bowl.

He keeps a tentative cushion’s distance away from you, but you can feel his eyes watching as you take your first sip of the rich, warm broth. While you slurp it down, you tell yourself not to get greedy with Taehyung’s time: you expect this will be it, that with his act of kindness done for the day, he’ll get to his feet and be on his way. As soon as your front door slams shut behind him, he’ll probably be pulling up his text messages with one of the many other options that must be available to him.

You try to ignore the way that thought makes your stomach twist, to just eat your damn soup and not think about it. It’s fine. It doesn’t matter.

But to your surprise, Taehyung leans forward and snatches the TV remote off your coffee table with a triumphant sigh before slumping back against the couch, like he’s settling in. “Do you wanna watch something?”

You shake your head as you take another sip before answering. “You really don’t have to stay, Tae. I can appreciate that I’m not a lot of fun to be around tonight. And obviously you didn’t come here to watch me eat ramen.”

Already starting to scroll through your streaming services, Taehyung runs his free hand through his hair with a knowing, slightly horny smile. “Depends on what you mean by eat ramen.”

You nearly choke on a noodle, but he’s otherwise distracted, mouth dropping open a little as he clicks into one of the options.

“Oh, I know what we can watch.”

When he pulls up A Charlie Brown Christmas and promptly presses play, you can’t help smirking. “Christmas? You’re, what, five days late?”

Taehyung’s mouth opens again, like he’s going to say something, and then he just smiles that same self-conscious smile. “Ah, I just like the music.”

His long fingers splay out in front of him, miming along to the opening melody while he adopts the faux-cool expression of a jazz pianist. You hide a giggle in another sip of broth, and he quickly shrugs the impression off, crossing his arms over his chest as if to keep his limbs under control.

“And it’s cute,” he adds, voice halfway between shy and sentimental. “The little tree.”

It occurs to you now that you’ve never seen Taehyung so… your brain can’t find the right word. He’s just different tonight.

You nod as you slurp up a strand of noodles, and you can’t deny that he’s right as the movie plays on. It’s been years since you’ve seen it, not since you were a kid, but it’s just as enjoyable now, somehow timeless. You find yourself smiling softly as you finish your meal and settle back against the couch, tugging the blanket up to your chin.

All at once, Taehyung jumps up, and you watch dumbfounded as he silently scoops up your dishes and disappears off to the kitchen. When you hear the tap switch on, your jaw drops in sheer disbelief, and you sit up again, peeking over the back of the couch to get a glimpse of him: he’s pulled on the dishwashing gloves you keep tucked next to the sink and is making short work of not just the bowl and the pot, but the takeout container too, and your various other sick-person dishes you’d regrettably let pile up. Humming to himself along with Vince Guaraldi, like it’s something he does every day.

Your head spins as you drop back down against the cushion. What is happening? Did you take too much cold medicine?

That thought only reverberates louder in your brain when he returns, still humming the last few notes of the song. This time he chooses to settle in right beside you on the couch, as if entirely unconcerned about the contagious virus running rampant in your body— he just pulls you into his side, one arm wrapped over your shoulders, fingertips casually starting to play with the ends of your hair. Like it’s that easy.

You glance up at him, shaking your head a little, and Taehyung looks down to meet your gaze. “What?”

“This is just…” An incredulous laugh cuts off the end of your sentence. It’s hard to believe you’re looking at the same person. This can’t be the man who wraps his hand around your throat as he spits into your mouth, who will keep you in his bed for hours until you’re crying from overstimulation, who fucks you so good you can hardly walk the next day.

“I didn’t expect you to be like this,” you admit, pairing the words with a finger driven gently into Taehyung’s ribs. He squirms a little. “You’re… sweet.”

Taehyung’s lips part, and then he pauses, clearly considering how exactly to answer you. His mouth turns up soft at the corners, hesitant, as if he’s embarrassed to say what comes next. And then he says it. “You didn’t seem like you wanted sweet.”

The words settle over you, offered quietly in the low, rich tones of his voice, and as you keep gazing up at him, it strikes you: he’s not wrong. If he’d pulled this cozy domestic housewife act on you any earlier, on a normal Friday, you would’ve sent him packing without hesitation.

That thought makes you a little sad.

You tuck back in against Taehyung’s side, trying to refocus on the TV screen as you snuggle in under the blanket. Pressed close like this, you can feel the sturdy thud of his heartbeat in his chest, at a rhythm not dissimilar to yours.

“Well, I won’t tell anyone,” you breathe, and you swear you can hear him smile.

His touch lingers as the last few minutes of the movie play on: slipping from the ends of your hair to trace over the fabric of your shirt, then sliding further up to dip beneath the collar of it. The talented fingers you’ve become well-acquainted with work their magic in a new way, pressing firm circles into the muscles of your shoulders, muscles you didn’t realize were pinched so tight until he starts to work them open.

“Fuck,” you murmur, shifting a little to allow him better access as he continues. “That feels so good.” You can’t quite help the laugh that flutters out after your words; it’s certainly not the first time he’s made you say them.

There’s a small huff of breath from Taehyung beside you, and then his hand moves up to cup the back of your neck and give a gentle squeeze. It’s a comforting motion, and just arousing enough to make you sigh a note, your eyes briefly dropping shut. When they flutter open again, you realize the movie has ended, that he’s looking down at you, a knowing smirk toying at his lips.

“Don’t start,” you warn, unable to keep your voice entirely serious. “I meant what I said, I’m tapped out for the night.”

Taehyung raises his palms in the air, as if to claim his innocence, and you find yourself instantly missing the heat of his hand on your skin. “All I was thinking is that I kinda want dessert. Too tapped out for that?”

“I’ll never say no to dessert,” you admit with a soft smile. “I think I have ice cream in the freezer.”

Something glints in Taehyung’s eyes at your words. All at once he untangles himself from you and, rather than standing up and walking the long way around like a normal human, chooses instead to vault himself over the back of the couch, as if to get your freezer as fast as possible. You tip back against the cushions, momentarily overcome with laughter, and thankfully, it doesn’t trigger a cough attack.

After a second, you cocoon the blanket around yourself, then get up to follow after him, dropping unceremoniously down onto one of the barstools tucked on the far side of your kitchen island.

Taehyung glances up, clearly surprised, then continues trying drawers until he finds the silverware and retrieves two spoons.

“Just want to keep you company,” you say by way of explanation as he hands you one, and you reach down to pry off the lid of the pint of chocolate ice cream he’s set down on the counter. It’s only as you glance up again that you realize he’s grabbed something else, too, and is continuing to rummage through your cupboards. “Wait, what are you doing?”

There’s an innocent look on Taehyung’s face as he rights himself, the handle of a pan clutched in one hand. “I found something when I was looking for the ice cream. It’s my favorite. And I thought it might make you feel better, too.”

“Uh huh,” you intone, though your mouth is already starting to tick up, endeared. “A completely selfless act, I’m sure.”

“Of course it is,” he answers with an over-exaggerated wink, flipping the pan cooly in his grip. You squint at the bag as he thuds it down on the counter beside him, then sets the pan on the stove and flips on the burner beneath it.

Hotteok. You’d completely forgotten you’d even picked the bag of frozen sweet pancakes up a few weeks ago, that you had purposefully tucked them into the back of your fridge for a particularly good— or bad— day.

“Chef Kim,” you ask, feigning the tone of a journalist conducting an important interview as you fish your phone out of the pocket of your sweatpants. “Can I interest you in some background music, or do you prefer to cook in absolute silence?”

Taehyung glances back over his shoulder at you, his grin nearly too big for his face. “How about Sinatra?”

You raise one eyebrow at the admittedly unexpected suggestion. “Frank or Nancy?”

He pauses for a moment, as if considering. “Either.”

It’s only a few taps, and then Come Fly With Me is floating out of your Bluetooth speaker, and Taehyung is singing along to himself as he drops a frozen disc onto the heated pan, occasionally turning back to deliver lines to you with an extended hand.

You roll your eyes as you drag your spoon through the top layer of softening ice cream, sucking it into your mouth in an attempt to hide the grin that’s spread over your face.

By the third song you find yourself humming along too, trying not to put too much strain on your still-weak throat. The kitchen has started to smell of sweet, toasted dough as Taehyung works diligently at the stove, and he finally flips the burner off before turning back to you, a plate in each hand and a thick pancake stacked atop each plate.

“Sous chef, will you please apply the ice cream?” he asks, eyes wide and blinking as he sets the dishes down.

Quickly playing along, you nod as you begin to scoop a healthy amount onto each plate. “Yes, chef!”

“And sous chef, do you, uh… have any chocolate sauce?”

You bite back a laugh as his roleplay falls apart as quickly as it began. “It’s in the fridge.”

Taehyung promptly turns and pulls the door open, eyes searching the shelves before he finally spots the dark brown bottle and lets out a triumphant hum. He nudges the fridge shut again with his hip before striding back toward you.

“Plating is key,” he muses. You answer with an appreciative nod and a giggle when he uncaps the sauce, then leans down close to the plates, feigning intense focus as he drizzles each dollop of ice cream with stripes of chocolate.

Once his artful design is complete, he steps back, his tongue toying at the corner of his mouth as he spins one plate to admire his handiwork.

“What do you think, chef?” you tease, and he nods once, decisive.

“It’s perfect.” He glances up, shooting you a grin that knocks the breath from your lungs, and you try to collect yourself as he nudges a plate toward you, encouraging you to take a bite.

You carve your spoon through the pastry, right down the middle where it’s stuffed full of sweet brown sugar syrup. The flaky layers pull apart at the impact, warm enough that you can see steam rising off of the golden dough. You pair a small piece of pancake with a wedge of ice cream on your spoon, then bring both into your mouth at once, and the contrasting mixtures linger on your tongue: hot and cold, sticky sugar chased by rich chocolate. It’s so good that you can’t help but make a soft, appreciative noise as you press your hand to your mouth and chew.

“Do you want to know something?” Taehyung’s voice pulls your attention back, and you look up at him.

“What?”

“Today’s my birthday.”

There’s a split second where you wonder if this is another imagined scenario, and then your eyes widen as you take in the look on his face and realize he’s entirely serious.

“Wait, Taehyung, really?”

He nods once, bringing a spoonful of ice cream to his lips.

“I-I had no idea,” you stammer, suddenly feeling like an asshole. His birthday, and he’s here waiting on you hand and foot, while you haven’t so much as said a word of felicitations. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, he’s waving away your apology with his spoon, then proceeding to answer around his bite of food. “It’s not like I expected you to know. I don’t really make a big deal of it.” He shrugs. “I tend to… I don't know. I get sort of melancholy this time of year. The holidays, my birthday. It’s a lot all at once. A lot of pressure. To be happy. To have everything figured out.”

Nodding slowly, you let his words fully wash over you before you respond. “I get that,” you finally murmur, working off another piece of hotteok. “Nobody ever talks about it, but I feel like birthdays are kinda weird as an adult. You have enough of them and it just starts to feel like a day, you know? Not special.”

“I usually find myself just hiding out, waiting for it to be over,” Taehyung admits.

You take a second to think back. “Yeah. I didn’t even do anything on my birthday this year.” A self-pitying laugh rises up before you can stop it. “Honestly, this whole year was such a flop. I’m glad it’s nearly done.”

Taehyung makes a face like he can’t disagree. “Hey, sometimes that’s life.” He pauses, brow furrowing slightly, then reaches a palm across the table. “Can I play a song?”

“Go ahead,” you offer, pushing your phone into his hand. You scrape your spoon along your dwindling dessert, and haven’t even managed to bring the assembled bite to your mouth before the music changes— from one Frank Sinatra song to another, this one with a driving blues rhythm.

Taehyung is already on his feet, hips starting to sway. “Ah, come on. You have to dance with me.”

He’s closed the distance between you before you can even protest, his hands smoothing across the blanket still wrapped over your shoulders.

“Let me take your coat, ma’am.”

You shift off the stool and onto your feet with a smile as he unwraps the blanket from around you and tosses it toward the back of the couch, missing by at least a foot.

“Why thank you,” you tease, feigning some kind of Transatlantic lilt to your voice that makes him really laugh. “Such a gentleman.”

Taehyung turns to face you again, and then you feel his large hand pressing to the small of your back, warm even through the fabric of your shirt, and your heart stutters a little. You take his other hand in yours and let him lead, let him pull you all the way in until you can turn your head and press your cheek to the firm plane of his chest.

Frank Sinatra croons on about how you can’t let life get you down, and suddenly there’s a weight settling in the pit of your stomach.

“I feel bad, Taehyung,” you admit, and when you glance up at him, he’s looking right back down at you. “That you’re here with me tonight.”

“Why?” he asks, like he really doesn’t know.

“Because,” you shake your head. “I don’t know. There’s a million better places you could be. I can’t even give you birthday sex.”

“I wouldn’t have stayed if I didn’t want to,” he answers simply, then leans back, guiding you under his arm for a spin.

A little giggle bubbles up in your chest, catches on the first syllable of your reply as you twirl. “A-are you sure?”

Taehyung nods, thoughtful, when you come back to center again. “This is a good reminder that… I like taking care of people. It’s been a while since anyone’s let me.” The hand holding yours gives a gentle squeeze, and you can’t help but squeeze back.

“Well, thank you for taking care of me,” you answer softly. “You did a good job. Pretty sure I’m on the mend already.” You blink up at him through your lashes, and the way his eyes are fixed on you makes your heart squeeze, too.

It’s nearly overwhelming, taking him in like this, close enough that you can see every stray beauty mark kissed over his handsome features. Fluffy-haired, big-dicked Kim Taehyung— who would’ve thought?

Taehyung’s adam’s apple jerks in his throat as he swallows, and you feel a sudden rush of heat all over, one you don’t quite think you can blame on a fever. It hardly even occurs to you that the two of you have come to a complete standstill now, barefoot in the middle of your kitchen, Taehyung’s palm pressed to your back, the fingers of your joined hands now shifting to lace together.

“Taehyung,” you’re breathing his name before you even realize it. “Would you… want to stay here tonight? Like, sleep together, literally?”

The smile that flashes over his face is nothing short of brilliant. “Yeah, okay.”

Your voice dips a little lower, teasing, as you smile back. “I really do think I’m feeling better, so. Maybe in the morning I can take care of you, too.”

Taehyung’s fingers brush the length of your jaw, then reach up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as you continue.

“I’ve got this spray that makes my throat totally numb, so.”

He pauses, his mouth so close to yours that you can feel his breath ghosting over your skin, but he can’t quite keep a straight face. “Fuck, why is that so sexy?”

You’re laughing against his lips when he kisses you.

[all-alone-he-turns-to-stone]

Sway Me Now

Billy Butcher Masterlist

Summary: For one mission, they have to work together. But after last time, can Butcher really trust her? As tension grows, they inevitably end up on the dance floor and have to dance to keep their cover. And right there, all the anger turns into something else. Can they really finish up the mission now? Pairing: Billy Butcher x F!Reader Rating: 18+ Warning: implied smut but nothing explicit, The Boys level of violence, ennemy to lovers, tension, sexual tension, anger, dancing, fighting Word Count: 3946 ​​ A/n: This fic was requested by @mightyhemsworthy​! So sorry it took so long!

Don’t forget to leave a feedback!

It wasn't his idea. Truth was, he was completely and irrevocably against it. But Hughie had the annoying capacity to convince everyone, including him. As soon as he used his secret weapon, his puppy eyes, everyone flinched.

"It's a shitty idea," he repeated for the hundredth time. Running his hand slowly through his beard, Butcher looked in the mirror to observe himself from all angles. He hadn't worn anything this fancy in so long.

The costume was very beautiful, there was no doubt about it. The black fabric was soft to the touch, a little reflective, showing its expensive price. The white button up shirt was a little tight so Butcher didn't hesitate to untie his bow tie to loosen a button.

"Who would have thought you could rock a suit."

Butcher closed his eyes and let out a long, telling sigh. That voice, he could never forget it.

"Who the fuck let you in, luv?"

His eyes still closed, Butcher turned to face the woman who haunted his nights… Both in a good and in a bad way.

"The little guy with the blue eyes. He's the one that called me and begged me to come here for your shitty plan."

Butcher's lips twitched in an uncomfortable spasm. Why did it have to be her, out of all the possible choices?

"Not. My. Plan," Butcher finally opened his eyes to place them on the woman in front of him. And for once, he was glad he could keep an unfazed face in any situation, because the view in front of him...

Y/n was leaning against the door frame. Her silhouette illuminated by the light behind her made her look like an angel… but he knew the demon hidden behind her beauty. She wore a red dress so tight, the fabric looked and probably felt like a second skin. The length came below her knees, but there was a slit on the side that went up to her hip, exposing her leg. Butcher couldn't help but stare at that bare part, exposed flesh that made him salivate. After long seconds of impossible scenarios passing through his mind, he managed to raise his eyes. The top of the dress was low cut just enough to show off her assets but also hid some to leave room for the imagination.

To finish up her look, her hair was curled and tied in a bun, small strands falling on either side of her face.

So lost in the contemplation of the woman in front of him, Butcher didn't immediately notice that she was doing the same to him. Her eyes roamed up and down her body, burning and interested in the sight.

He wasn't used to being looked at like that. Not in a long time, at least. Feeling himself losing control over her expressions, Butcher cleared her throat to bring the focus back to what was important and what she was there for. The mission.

Y/n was biting her lip in interest when he spoke.

"Did Hughie tell you his plan?"

-

“Alright. So the target’s name is Edmundo Rodriguez. I texted you a picture.”

Sitting at the bar, Butcher was sipping a nice glass of strong whiskey when M.M's voice rang loudly in his ear. By reflex, he tried to remove the piece from his ear, but a hand was faster and stopped him.

“We got the picture,” the person next to him muttered discreetly against her wrist, her silver bracelet hiding the microphone allowing her to communicate with the base of operations. The truck was parked further on the road outside the manor, M.M and Hughie ready to guide them if necessary. Y/n slid the phone on the counter by his drink so Butcher glanced at it quickly.

“That motherfucker looks like all the other motherfucking in here, how the hell are ye gunna find him, eh?” 

“I don’t care how you do!” M.M's voice once again sounded loudly in his ear. Butcher grimaced. He definitely hated this plan. Hated the mission. “Just do it. Target should be in the VIP section.”

“Sure thing, we just need to get in there now, do we?”

Turning his head to the left and then the right, Butcher mentally noted everything around him again. The room was full of people, cocktails in hand, dancing, talking and laughing out loud. A real bunch of money cows, good at milking the poor to fill their pockets. And they called that event a charity gala? It stank of scam.

The phone disappeared from the counter as Y/n grabbed it. Butcher followed the gesture and watched her put it back in her bag. Again, his breath got caught in his throat at the beauty of the woman next to him, and his frustration grew.

“Are you gonna stop being a baby for one night?” She sighed, turning to him completely. After crossing one leg above the other, she leaned against her hand, her elbow against the counter. She narrowed her eyes at him, clearly judging him with her gaze.

“Only when you’ll stop being a greedy bitch,” Butcher replied, mimicking her posture to face her as well. He grabbed his glass and put it to his lips, but decided not to drink from it at the last second. “Why are you even here eh? We don't need ya, like we didn't need ya last time either.”

"Oh, if that's how you say thank you, then fuck you!" Straightening slightly, Y/n swiveled towards the bar to order a drink, but Butcher interrupted her.

“I won’t say thank you, hun, not after what you did last time.”

“You’re still mad about that!” 

This time, the two were face to face, standing on their feet, their faces so close they could feel each other’s body heat.

“I’ll always be mad that you betrayed us and joined the fucking enemy.”

The only reason she could answer him at the same height was the 4 inch heels that adorned her feet. “You know why I did that!” Noticing she was raising her voice, Y/n looked around. Her gaze wandered behind Butcher for a moment, then she grabbed his arm to pull him even closer to her. “Now's not the fucking time. I'm there, like it or not,” she whispered, her face so close he could admire every detail of her beautiful eyes. “The guards are looking at us, we're making a scene and getting too much attention so you’re gonna shut up and follow my lead.”

Butcher had no time to protest or answer, he was being dragged on the dance floor. Once they were in the middle, Y/n looked to the left where the guards were and Butcher followed her gaze discreetly. Indeed, three men were staring intently at them. Cursing himself for accepting the mission, and more importantly, agreeing to go with her, Butcher didn’t notice the song had changed. He understood only when he felt his hands switch places to end up against a fabric that was soft to the touch. Turning his head in front of him, his eyes widened as he noticed he was now holding her waist.

“Follow my lead,” Y/n hissed through her teeth. Already, her hips were moving side to side and she was raising her arms to wrap them around Butcher's neck. Caressing the back of his head, she moved closer to him enough to press her chest against his torso. Still in shock of having her so close, Butcher didn't move. A strong pain in the foot brought him back to him with a choked moan of pain. "Sway me now!"

She was crushing his foot with her heel? Perfect! He was awake now.

Suavemente, bésame

Que quiero sentir tus labios

Besándome otra vez

Prior to The Boys, Butcher had been to many events that required dancing. To not embarrass and shame Becca, he had learned and practiced relentlessly. It had been a while now since his last dance, his body responding to the movements by remaining rather stiff, but it was enough. And the confused but satisfied expression of the woman in his arms confirmed he wasn’t too bad at it.

Cuando tú me besas

Me siento en el aire

Por eso cuando te veo

Comienzo a besarte

One foot in front of him, Y/n moved hers back and they repeated the movement a couple of times to the beat of the song, swaying their hips. Then, Butcher grabbed Y/n's hand, kissed it quickly before spinning her on herself several times. After a few turns, he grabbed her against him and helped her down to the ground by holding her hands. Y/n slid, one leg in front and the other behind as she did the splits. Applause sounded around them, but neither paid attention to their spectators. Once on the ground, Y/n stuck her legs together and Butcher spun her around to build momentum and lift her up. With a strong, precise movement, she seemed to fly through the air for a moment, her legs splitting again but in the air this time.

Y si te despegas

Yo me despierto

De ese rico sueño

Que me dan tus besos

Suavemente

Grabbing her by the waist, Butcher gently helped her land on her feet. Then, they pulled back, Y/n moving her hips and caressing her body as she kept her gaze on her partner. Pointing at him, she motioned for him to come closer, which Butcher did, a smile on the corner of his lips. Swaying, he advanced towards the young woman so that she ended up in his arms again. His hands rested on her waist again, but the heat had already risen too much, and his fingers wandered lower on her body, inviting her to sway her hips even more.

It was hot. Their bodies touched more often than they stayed apart. The two were sweating as the song struggled to finish. The 4 minutes of the song felt like an eternity, but soon, that eternity was over. The song ended as Butcher rocked Y/n backward against his arm. Her hair, surprisingly still in her bun even after the dance, tickled his arm. Her back was arched perfectly and he was holding one of her legs with his other hand.

The sound of their rapid breathing filled the room full of people watching them, but it felt like there were only two left in the world. Nothing existed anymore, nothing could reach them in the bubble they were in. The tension was palpable, the dancing had warmed them both up in a way they hadn't expected. Of course, Butcher knew how incredibly beautiful Y/n was. And sexy. Fuck, she was so hot. But that moment they had lived... It felt more than that.

Butcher stared at Y/n's lips with one longing...

His face moved closer and closer to hers, and she didn't do anything to stop him. He could feel her breath on his lips, feel the fruity scent of her lip gloss tickle his nose, they were so close… when a round of applause startled him.

Butcher was getting his dance partner back on her feet when a voice rang in his ear.

“Nice way to get attention, well done.” He had no idea how they saw the dance back in the truck, but they knew and it made Butcher lose focus once more.

Y/n was faster than him and leaned over to salute and thank the crowd. Butcher did the same, and then the band resumed the songs and people started talking as if nothing had happened.

Time seemed to slow down as the dance looped through his head. People talked to him, but he didn’t listen to any of them. He could almost taste them, her lips, feel their warmth on his… And he wanted to. So bad. God, he was screwed. He only hoped she didn’t notice how strong her hold was on him and how bad he wanted her. That would be fucking embarrassing.

"Y/n-" Butcher turned his head towards her, but she wasn't near him anymore. He blinked a few times and looked around, panic slowly rising in him. She was there and then, gone. Raising his watch to his mouth, Butcher let his fear pour out.

“M.M! I lost Y/n!”

“Relax,” the voice answered. “You spaced out for a while Butcher. She’s doing her job. Look towards the bar.”

A long sigh of relief escaped Butcher's lungs when he found the red dress among the people sitting at the bar. He was walking towards her when he finally noticed that she was not alone. Sitting next to her, a man was talking to her. Although he was far away and the man had his back turned to him, Butcher could still notice the smirk stamped on his face as he looked at her, his big stubby hand going up on Y/n's thigh. His dirty fingers slid through the slit of the dress to caress her leg… And that was his limit.

Butcher saw red. Not waiting a moment, he rushed to the bar, pushing the other guests around without worrying about attracting attention. He was almost there when a waiter stepped directly into his path.

“Un entrée vous ferait-il plaisir, monsieur?”

Butcher recognized his voice before realizing that the server was speaking French. “Frenchie, get out my way now.”

“Saw your little dance there, impressionnant,” Frenchie, disguised as a waiter, nodded. Of course, they had to send him inside in case something turned bad. That was how M.M knew about the dance, Frenchie had a great time describing what he was seeing. “But now’s not the time to screw your cover. Take a little pain crouté and let her work.”

“I don’t care about your food!” Drowning in his anger, Butcher's hand went off on its own and the plate filled with probably very expensive appetizers flew through the air to end on the floor in a deafening din. Of course, this caught everyone's attention, including the guards, the man at the bar, and Y/n. “Leave me alone Frenchie,” Butcher hissed through his teeth. Frenchie lowered his head, muttered something in French and left. Butcher was about to continue on his way to the bar when a hand landed on his chest to stop him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” Y/n whispered and glanced behind her where she had left the man. She quickly waved at him to let him know it would take her a moment and then turned to Butcher. “Why are you making a fucking scene!”

“Why are you flirting with the first guy you see, eh?!” Butcher clenched his fists, casting a hateful gaze toward the bar and the man.

"Are you fuckin-" Not finishing her sentence, Y/n grabbed Butcher by the wrist and led him out of the room. Once they were in an empty hallway, she stopped and turned to him. Certain she would only try to find more excuses for her actions, Butcher was surprised to see that look on her face.

Her beautiful eyes were sad, filled with overflowing tears. Her eyebrows were furrowed, clearly disappointed in his behavior. She let go of his wrist and Butcher felt the chill creep up his spine as she pulled the phone out of her bag to show him the photo.

“Why are you showing me the target again!” He exclaimed, raising his voice louder than he liked.

“Because I was with him at the bar! Are you blind?!”

“I knew it, you’re gunna go with the enemy again!” Clapping his hands over his head, Butcher was about to leave the mansion, fuck the mission, when a hand forced him to stay put.

“How can you think I would- I was seducing him to get the fucking key! Yanno, for the safe that contains the fucking documents we need to destroy Vought!”

Butcher lowered his hands. It was like his body weighed a ton and gravity was pulling him down. He hadn't thought of that. However, that didn't calm the anger he had been feeling ever since he saw her again.

“How do you want me not to think that after last time!” No matter how hard he tried to calm down, the anger and that negative feeling ate up inside him like an ever-growing black cloud.

Pain passed over Y/n's face. Her eyes filled with water again. No tears rolled down her cheeks though. 

“I had no choice…”

Her voice had become so quiet, he had difficulty understanding her. "What?"

“Last time. Monaco. I had no choice. They had my dad, and if I didn’t give them the documents…” Lowering her head, a lock of her bun finally fell over her eyes. “I didn’t want to… But I had to save my dad.” When she lifted her head, a single tear spilled out of her eye and started rolling down her cheek, but she wiped it away before it could sink too low.

“Why did you never tell me?” Butcher's voice was softer now. Although the betrayal was still fresh, he could understand. He would have done the same for Becca. He would betray his own team for the one he loved, no hesitation.

“Cause I failed that too,” she shrugged and smiled sadly. Her mouth opened to add something but her gaze shifted to the side and her eyes widened. "Oh shit."

“So that’s where you were, Cariño…” Butcher closed his eyes, a silent “fuck” mimed on his lips. Turning slowly, he got face to face with the man from the bar, the target, Edmundo Rodriguez. And he wasn’t alone. Three guards accompanied him, all armed with weapons. Edmundo shook his head and sighed. “What a shame it has to end before I can own you.” Butcher could feel a shiver of disgust and hatred wash over him at those words. “Oh, you wanted this, perhaps?” Raising a hand, Edmundo passed it through his sweater to pull out a chain and at the end of the chain, a key. The one they needed. “You thought me stupid. Tried to rob me. But who’s dumb now eh? Corpses don’t do well in stealing. Kill them.”

“Oh fuckin finally some action I’m good at.” Butcher smiled darkly. As the guards closed in on them, Butcher pulled off his far too expensive jacket and grabbed the gun hidden behind his back to point it at the nearest guard. However, he was already in front of him and with a quick swing, disarmed Butcher. His weapon fell to the ground and slid away much to the dismay of the man who took a punch in the face. His whole body twisted from the force of the hit and his mouth filled with blood. "Oh. You shouldn’t have done that.” Turning his head towards the guard, Butcher offered a bloody smile that made him take a few steps back. The guard had fear shining in his eyes… Even if he was the one with the gun. "Oh, don't be scared," Butcher was still smiling. 

It happened so quickly, the guard didn't stand a chance. Butcher grabbed him by the sweater with one hand, the other grabbed the wrist that held the gun, and in a strong and precise movement, headbutted him right in the nose. 

A crack was heard, followed by a scream.

Clearly stunned by the hit, the guard staggered and he put a hand to his face. Butcher took the opportunity to hit his knee with his feet, a strong and precise kick that bent his leg at an angle that shouldn't be possible. More cracks and yells of pain were heard. The guard fell to the floor screaming, his gun falling from his hand, and Butcher didn't hesitate to press his foot against his throat and pressed. Purple slowly crept into the guard’s face as he squirmed under the boot, trying to get free and get oxygen. But Butcher didn’t let go.

A gunshot sounded so close to his ear that Butcher had the instinct to duck, but the bullet missed its target. Looking behind him, he could see that the fight wasn’t over. One of the guards was pointing his gun at him, and if he missed the first shot, he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Butcher was ready to drop to the ground, praying the bullets would miss him, but it wasn't necessary. Because one moment the guard was standing with a gun pointed at Butcher, and the next he was falling on the floor with a knife stuck in his throat. A few feet away from him stood Y/n, the covered side of her leg raised to show a belt filled with small knives strapped to her thigh.

"That's hot," Butcher couldn't help but say as Y/n picked up another knife and threw it at the last guard. Since the guard was busy dealing with knives being thrown at him, Butcher could pick up the gun the guard dropped, but it was unnecessary. Because one second later, Y/n skilfully jumped on the guard to stab him in the throat until he fell to the ground, motionless and choking in his own blood.

“Where’s Edmundo?” She asked, straightening her dress as if nothing had happened. She was barely disheveled, no cuts or wounds and above all, no drop of blood was on her person.

“I don’t care.”

Leaving the gun on the floor since he didn’t need it anymore, Butcher took the few steps that separated him from Y/n to immediately place his hands on her waist and pressed his lips to hers. It took her breath away, both with the force and the surprise of the intense kiss. She didn’t wait a second to respond, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. A low moan echoed in his ears as he slammed her against the wall, their lips parting just long enough for her to jump up and wrap her legs around his hips. "You're so fuckin hot," Butcher sighed and without waiting, brought his lips to hers again. One of his hands was used to support her while the other did not hesitate to slide under the slit of the dress to caress and grip her thigh.

The kiss was wild and filled with a longing and frustration that the two constantly felt. So needless to say, it only took a few moments for Butcher to undo his pants just enough to have access to what he needed.

-

Meanwhile, a French waiter who didn’t really have his place in this kind of event had intercepted a panicked person who was running towards the guardhouse. With a quick kick and a precise punch, he knocked him down, dragged him to a quiet place, bound and gagged him and finally, stole his key. Proud of himself for getting the key, he started searching for the two people under cover to tell them the good news. The mission was over, they had to leave before someone realized what happened.

After a while of searching, Frenchie finally found them…

Right in the middle of the hallway, caught up in an activity he wished he had never seen.

“Ah! Non, non non non! Not today! I’ll wait in the car!” Frenchie started to walk away, both hands raised in despair. But as the moans reached his ears, he cringed and shouted without turning back: “No, better than that, when you are done, just call a taxi! Au revoir!”

Forever taglist: @nitnat6245 @eevvvaa @wickedinspirations @fictional-affairs @awkward-and-indecisive @peachyaliien @katbratsupernaturalwhore

[zombholic]

hii me again (the one that just texted about forgotten ask) but it was about abby (i had a doctor!abby in mind but it’s up to you) couple of days ago it was basically about hurt/comfort, angst type of thing where you know they fight, scream and cry and then kiss and make up, and talk and whole lot of fluff, and apologize<3 but you can write it as you see fit (obviously, it’s your work) but it was just an idea, cause i’m a sucker for this type of fics😭(i basically just wrote the whole plot here cause i didn’t want you to look for it)

JEALOUS GIRL — abby anderson

summary — basically what anon said ^

description — poc!fem reader with bpd, doctor!abby, angsty, very angry reader.

— 🎧　　 ◦ ✺ 　 📽　 ⟢ —

You and Abby had went to her best friend’s birthday get together, Leah. You quite honestly couldn’t stand that stuck up piece of shit, she has no problem flirting with your girlfriend in front of you like you’re not there. Abby is one of those girls where you have to tell her you have feelings for her or else she thinks you’re just being friendly, how else did you guys start dating to begin with.

Your girlfriend was sat on the couch next to Leah, who was too close for comfort. Nora had pulled you aside to have a drink with you, she was your favorite honestly, the complete opposite of Leah yet somehow all of them get along her.

“You said you were going to college soon right?” Nora was trying to make conversation with you but your glare never left the couch, you try to stay calm and collected around Abby’s friends since they were much older but seeing her grab onto your girlfriends arm like that made you want to violently grab her head and smash it into your knee.

“Y/n?” Nora waved her hand in front of your out of touch face, blinking your eyes a couple of times you looked over at her “Sorry, I get distracted easily. Yeah I’m going to start my career in becoming a veterinarian.” You gave her an apologetic smile.

The rest of the night stayed like that, Leah basically begging for Abby to fuck her right in front of you. Your blood was boiling to the point your body started heating up, if anyone touched you they would get third degree burns. When it was finally time to leave you swore all love for Abby was pushed deep inside leaving you filled with anger.

“Lemme get the door fo—“ “I can open the door for my fucking self.” You shoved her hand away from the handle of her car, getting inside and slamming it so hard it almost shook the whole car. Abby looked at you with the most confused expression plastered across her face “What’s wrong with you?” She started her engine before going back to look at you “Don’t fucking talk to me right now.” Your arms were crossed over your chest, your nails digging deep into your boiling flesh.

The rest of the ride back home lingered with tension and anger fuming from you. Right as she parked the car you were quick to get out repeatedly the same action to slam the door, walking inside your shared home with her you shut the door right before she walked in. Storming up to the shared bedroom you started to take your shoes off, wanting nothing more than to just lay down.

“Y/n, what is your actual problem?” Abby walked over to you as she grabbed your arm as gently as she could she needed you to look at her. Abby was big on communication and you weren’t, you both having very different lives that to you communication wasn’t a thing when you were angry, your anger never regulated properly only going from zero to hundred in a matter of seconds.

When you got angry, you weren’t you like someone else stepped into your body and did whatever it took to defend yourself from any pain. “For a fucking Doctor you’re really fucking stupid.” The words spitting out of your mouth were laced with venom, Abby taken aback from the sudden insult “Why are you being so disrespectful?” You laughed at her lack of situational awareness “Wow you’re really stupid Abby, you have the audacity to say im disrespectful when you were basically fucking Leah right in front of me!” Your hands clenched into a tight fist, nails digging into your palms it’s like all your emotions were turned off but anger.

“Calling me stupid isn’t going to make this situation any better, I suggest you fix your attitude then come speak to me.” You knew you pushed her buttons badly, Abby grabbed her pajamas before heading to the guest room but not before slamming the door.

You sat on your bed trying to calm yourself down only failing when you start sobbing into the pillow. Why do you always do this? Always quick to attack before anything else. God she was going to leave you wasn’t she? Abby can’t handle someone like you. You’re too much to handle, this is why you can’t keep a relationship.

Horrible thoughts ran through your head at hundreds miles per hour causing you to sob harder into the pillow, you hated that you couldn’t be normal, why couldn’t you just talk to her?

You decided to change into your pajamas before heading over to the guest room where you saw Abby reading a book, so focused she didn’t notice you by the doorway. “Are you gonna leave me?” You felt the tears form back into your eyes streaming down your face, the swelling and tightness in your throat hurting, you quickly covered your mouth with the back of your hand trying not to sob.

Abby was quick to put the book down, walking over to you to embrace you into her arms, her hand coming to hold the back of your head trying to soothe you. Sobbing into her chest you apologized profusely “I’m so— sorry Abby, I don’t know why I do that.” You managed to say between hiccups and sobs.

“Baby, baby look at me.” She held your face in her hands making you look at her, you saw the expression on her face soften seeing her lover cry like that felt like pins and needles in her heart “I’m not going to leave you, ever. I love you, I just need you to work on communicating with me and I will help you with that. I don’t think you realize how much your words actually hurt.” Her thumbs wiping every tear that fell down your puffed up face.

“Now tell me why you were so angry with me earlier?” Her soft blue orbs never leaving your tear filled eyes. “I just didn’t like how Leah was all over you, she was grabbing your arm and leaning on you, it made me uncomfortable and mad.” She acknowledged every word you said “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice what she was doing, i’ll talk to her about it and it will never happen again, I promise you baby.” She pressed her soft lips against yours, the most gentle kiss she’s ever given you.

“I love you Y/n and I’m going to marry you someday so don’t ever think that I will leave you.” You giggled a little at her marriage comment before you grabbed her face and kissed her deeply.

— 🎧　　 ◦ ✺ 　 📽　 ⟢ —

authors note — i hope this is what u were looking for!! btw i have bpd so everything i wrote is everything i feel when im angry😭

[joesanrio]

All over Instagram | J.U

Summary: It’s been about 2 days since you last saw Jey, and now a small situation that was on Twitter has seemed to spread.

Pairings: Joshua Fatu {Jey Uso} x fem!reader || established relationship

Warnings: flashback, “cheating” scandal, rumors, long distance, emotional conversation, stubborn!Jey, uses real and nicknames, face grabbing, p-in-v (unprotected), multi!orgasms, shower!sex, 69, they just being filthy… NOT EDITED

Word count: 2856 (long)

Ratings: Angst, Fluff, Smut | 18+

A/N: y’all in the comments of All over Twitter | J.U had me cracking up!! So here’s part two since y’all loved the last one 🩵🩵

Tag list: @angelreyesgirl100 @britishhybrid @harlem11680 @papireigns-05 @jeyusos-girl @heart4reigns @xiament3 @romanreignseater @reci24 @bakugoumarianawrites @jeysbae @smile1318 @anonandwannakeepitthatway @alyyaanna @tjai1121 @syia2907 @mya2real @southerngirl41 @nbanenefrmdao @him-uni @siriuslyblackonback @christinabae @justanamjoonstan @louisianalady @iguessilikewrestlingnow @avxngxrrogxrs @romanreignkisser @jeyusosgirl @glennsrealbae @lucymarie2002

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[Flashback]

“Omg, Thank you so much for coming!” clapping happily as Jimmy pulls up to the venue you asked him to view with you, it was about 8pm and you wanted to see how it would look inside with the skylight roof. “You know I got you sis, plus I know uce like the back of my hand.” Jimmy hugs you once he exits his car, heading inside with the key the owner gave you.

The inside was beautiful especially with the sky being practically night but still a bit light out. The moon shining bright through the skylight, letting the marble floor glisten and the walls darken around.

You guys were there about 30 minutes taking small notes and measurements for the plan you were setting up, “I like the red because it’ll look really pretty under the lighting that I’m getting, but I’m not sure about the black.” You reply, as Jimmy mentioned the color scheme. Looking around the room again to get the feel for it, “Too dark.” He nods before thinking of some other colors to make the room pop.

“What about silver, red, white? I mean it’s simple it’ll make the room sparkle…” Perking up happily as Jimmy side glances at your mention of sparkles. “Girl. Sparkles, really?” His facial expression making you burst into laughter. “It’s my anniversary too!” giggling before writing down the idea in your notebook as a reminder to send to the interior designer after getting your own perspective of the room.

---

It’s now 9:40pm, both of you have viewed the entire venue and included things that you needed to buy or fix up before the surprise. Jimmy was a great help, especially with the measurements or telling you about small cultural details to add to the venue to make it more special. You couldn’t have chosen a better person to help with the surprise anniversary party you wanted to throw for Jey.

“Alright now, get home safe.” Jimmy hugs you once you declare the work finished, “You too! And thank you so much for the help again.” Grinning at tonight’s success as you lock the door and put the key in your purse. “Say Hi to Trin for me too!” You call out before getting into your car and putting your address into the gps. He gives me a thumbs up, pulling out of the parking lot quickly to get home to his girl.

[Present]

You haven’t seen Jey in 2 days, and every time you tried to call him, the call would decline, and he’ll text back “What were y’all doin?”. You called Jimmy (and Trin) to tell them what happened with Jey, at first you were relieved when Jimmy mentioned how he could call him and fix it.

That was until when he did call, Jey picked up quickly before saying “Fuck you,” and hanging up just before Jimmy could even get a word in. Should’ve known though, because his dramatics used to be one of your favorite things about him, it would make you laugh or just lighten the room, but as of now it’s doing the exact opposite.

So, you decided to wait until Summerslam to try to message him again, an even worse decision as Jimmy goes out and betrays him that same night.

Watching your phone go from hundreds of mentions on social media to thousands in a matter of seconds, the fans were never merciful with those who they don’t like, and they sure don’t like you right now.

“Just pick up and be an adult.” You practically yell at your phone as you call Jey right after the PPV is over, the rings now being impeded into your brain as you listen to them play repeatedly.

Ik you see my calls so just answer them 🙄

I didn’t want to call you earlier and I don’t want to call you now 🤨

Joshua. Literally answer, we need to talk abt this

We can talk in person.

Our flight is at 11pm

Okay be safe 💗

Seen

He got home last night but didn’t say a word as he unpacked and got into bed. If anything, Jey was so silent that you didn’t even realize he was home until you felt the bed shift.

---

The next morning, you were up preparing breakfast for the kids before they headed off to school. Leaving you and Jey in the house alone. The house that was once filled with soft laughter, or just interesting conversations, is now completely silent and cold.

You understand him, you know how he acts and why he does it. You were just hoping he wouldn’t be that way with you, “Josh… can we talk now?” voice barely above a whisper when you walk back into your shared bedroom. His eyes shooting up to make eye contact with yours as he sits against the headboard on his phone, “Yup.” Jey’s voice monotone as he looks back down at his phone.

Letting out a soft sigh at his attitude, unconsciously speeding towards the distant man, missing his warmth and comfort. “Do you really think I cheated?” getting straight to the point, you understood what the public thought, but you wanted to know if Jey truly believed it. Jey’s gaze caressing over your body before coming back up to your eyes, hurt visible inside of them, a loud huff leaving his nose as he drops his phone into his lap.

“I want to say no, but something in the back of my mind is saying otherwise.” He expresses lowly, his gaze not easing up as your own softens. “You believe that I would cheat on you. With you brother?” eye contact now separating as he looks down at his hands, “I would never, I could never do that to you or myself.” Your voice delicate as all your pent-up emotions seem to leak through your words.

Your words were never second guessed to Jey, even when he has the underlying thoughts of what people say. “I know…” is all he could muster up to tell you, this wasn’t a conversation that he ever though he would have to have with you.

“I don’t think you do. You left me.” His heart breaking at those words, he doesn’t like this feeling. Especially since it’s coming from the only other person that he knew would protect him with all their might. “I-I’m sorry. I’ll prove it to you, I’ll do anything. I’m sorry.” His voice cracking as he pleads to you desperately, he couldn’t imagine not being with you, not knowing that you’ll be there when he gets home.

“Then prove it.” Your voice quiet compared to Jey’s harsh breaths. “I’ll do anything, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it.” His eyes falling onto yours, the desperate pleads starting to mumble together as you watch the different emotions flash in his intense gaze.

---

“I told you; I’ll do anything.”

A sort of muffled cry leaves your mouth as Jey grabs your cheeks with his large hand. The touch is gentle, yet rough as he squeezes and moves your face to look into his eyes. A teasing smirk forms onto his lips when your eyes meet his again, “What’d I tell you, baby?” his eyes filled with lust.

Another moan leaves your plump lips as your cunt tightens and hips lifts off the bed, pushing itself further into Jey’s thrust and the vibrator he’s forcing you to use; still in your hand pressing against your clit. Trying to create space away from the vibrator and your sensitive and puffy clit.

Jey’s free hand comes to hold your wrist in place, an annoyed groan passes through your throat, your body tries to squirm away from the vibrator that is now impossible to move. “Stop running away baby. I’m finally back.” Your body tries helplessly to get away from the vibrations spreading painful pleasure through your body and the powerful thrusts from his cock. 

“You wanted me to prove it, yeah?” An annoyed grunt travels through the air when your walls flutter and clench around Jey’s thick dick, your body squirming starts adding on to the tightness surrounding his cock, making his thrusts less precise.

“Yes baby!” Your hands reach for something to grab before stuttering and trying to push his hips away from yours in a panic, Jey grabs your throat, squeezing gently as the now found pleasure sputters through your body. Holding you in place impatiently, his head leaning down to your ear. “Look at you, you couldn’t cheat on me baby. You’re a mess for this dick.” He teases before placing a small peck on the outer shell of your ear.

Jey chuckling at your pathetic state, adding more pressure to your wrist to dig the vibrator further into your clit. Your walls flutter around him in response, a moan leaves his mouth as his eyes snap close to savor the feeling.

The warmth and tightness suck his cock into your pussy greedily, practically begging him to continue pumping into you. His eyes open slowly as your moaning and desperate noises fill the room.

“Take it. Take all of me.” His deep groans fill the room tauntingly. Eyes rolled back deliciously before closing tightly, jaw hanging open because can’t close no matter how hard you try to force it shut. Jey smirks teasingly at your state and gives you a particularly deep thrust that causes your pelvis to jolt upwards shakily. 

A thick whine travels up your throat and passes the pressure he applies to your throat. It causes Jey to chuckle condescendingly, and he places a quick kiss to your cheek. The tenderness of the act distracts you for a moment, giving him the opportunity to release your throat and pull the vibrator from your overstimulated clit.

 A surprised squeal leaves your mouth at the cool air brushing over your sensitive cunt. Jey takes the time to slow down his thrusts, observing the fucked-out look that covers your face. You look gorgeous with eyes that can’t see clearly and skin that tries stupidly to cool your body down with sweat. A soft groan leaves his lips, and he speeds up his thrusts again. “I love you!” You practically huff out as his thrust seems to knock the wind out of you.

“I love you too.” He shakes his head in amusement before grabbing your wrists and pinning them to the pillow above your head as he gives your cunt the last of his pleasurable thrusts before stilling and coating your walls in his cum. You both let out tired sighs as the pleasure courses through your bodies until it dies down into a faint hum. Jey gives your wrists a tight squeeze before letting them go and slipping out of you.

His body warmth now gone makes you whimper, and he kisses your forehead lovingly as an apology. He sits back up and caresses your face with a small smile. It causes your heart to flutter, and you’re bought out of your fucked-out phase. 

When your eyes clear and meet Jey’s, he breathes out a slow breath, “That’s my girl, now I need you to sit down on my face. ‘Kay?” He speaks more of a demand than suggestion. Eyebrows furrowing at this man’s high sex drive, barely being able to recuperate from your past 2 orgasms.

He taps your thigh quickly to get you out of your trance, forcing your body up and switching positions. His large hands delicate on your soft waist and pulling you gently down onto his face. Adjusting you, so you sit perfectly onto his lips, his tongue quickly going to lick up your swollen folds.

“S’good. Suck me baby, keep that mouth busy.” He mumbles into your puffy cunt, your hands going to garb his erected cock, immediately wondering how many times you’re going to have to cum before he goes limp.

“Oh… gentle- please!” You whine out as Jey sucks on your clit roughly. Quickly letting go of the sensitive bud and deciding to tongue fuck you in between your folds and lick you clean. You let out a whiney moan before you spit onto his cock, stroking him up and down a few times before taking your tongue to swirl around his tip.

"Fuck, that’s it." He voices out as you begin to ride against his motions while you prepare on your end to take all his cock into your mouth. You start off slow, teasing Jey by licking a stripe up his shaft before lowering your mouth halfway down.

You pull back up, your hands stroking near the base at the same time you bob up and down. Your moans are muffled against his cock, but Jey is eating the fuck out of your pussy, and you genuinely want to sob.

"Josh, wait fuck-" You yell but he continues. "You're-you're gonna make me cum so fucking fast."

"Do it for me." He teases in between. He begins to slowly work his hips into you, making his cock fuck your mouth ever so gently.

As you continue sucking him, you feel your high coming to a close, especially when Jey is toying with your folds with his tongue and taking advantage of the way you work your hips against his mouth.

"Joshua! Ah, so close! I'm-I'm—" You try to continue stroking his wet dick to keep yourself occupied but fall limp into his pelvic as your hips continue to ride out your 3rd orgasm on his skillful mouth.

"Shower time?" Jey lifts your hip from his face with a chuckle while you gather your breathing, forgetting completely about his orgasm.

"Mhm." You mumble as you push yourself up and roll to the side of him, knowing exactly what he expects when he asks the question.

Even though you both needed to shower, your bodies coated in cum, sweat, and spit, you guys just laid there breathless. His arms pulling you into his embrace, you missed this. You missed him. "Join me Baby." Your eyes diverting into his gaze softly at his question, before nodding silently. Too tired to even say a word anymore, hoping that his past expectations don’t apply here.

Finally deciding to head to the shower after a small pep talk, remembering you guys must clean up before the kids get home. “I bought you something!” Jey perks up from the closet as he walks towards you with one of his new shirts, not even phased about the fact that he’s naked.

Smiling at him, you head into the steaming shower, the hot water immediately cleansing off your sticky body. “Don’t leave me baby!” He jokes when the fogged door slams closed.

Sooner or later, you see his silhouette passing the glass, the door slightly swinging open again as he lets himself in. You subtly bite onto your bottom lip as you look at him up and down, his member quickly hardening when he sees your wet body gleaming under the light.

The shower started off sweet, and comforting. Jey gently working his hands into your scalp to massage the shampoo and conditioner in your hair. He helps wash it off, continuing to work his hands in the same motions, causing your eyes to shut briefly at his tenderness.

You returned the favor, turning and him unintentionally bending his knees for you to get a good grip on his hair, working the shampoo through his curls. It's quiet, and the only sounds in the bathroom are the running water and the water bouncing off the tiles.

"You're so beautiful." He says, helping lather up the body wash on your back before you help with his and wash off. He gives you a warm, small smile before dipping his head to press a kiss on your lips. But at this point, you don't want to pull away at all. Instead, you want him to continue, your hands rest on his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

 You gently bite on his bottom lip, tugging back slightly as you keep your gaze on him. "Fuck. We’re supposed to be getting clean." Jey whispers when you pull away, a small groan being released from his mouth as he pulls you by the waist, his hardened member brushing against your clit.

“You’re right. Now let me go.” Your self-control comes hurdling back as you realize the whole point of the shower, “Damn… you ain’t even want to pretend like you wanted more.” He complains behind you as you rinse off again, not for any reason but it just felt right.

Winking at the desperate man behind you once you shut the water off, leaving the shower to get dried off. His hand slapping your ass quickly when you leave him as he just stands in the shower contemplating the situation.

"I did all that proving, and you can’t even give m-me a little suck?" His voice vibrating off the shower walls as he complains, you can see his hands flying around with his stutter. Giggling, you continue to do your own thing, not paying the giant baby any mind.

[storywriter007]

Who Are You Trying to Convince? - Neymar Jr x Fem!Reader

summary: in which y/n figures out why neymar has been so distant

warnings: cursing, lying, flirting with ex, anger

genre: angst ending in heartbreak

word count: 1.5k

-> football/soccer players masterlist

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"can we run the order one more time?" the fashion show director called out.

the victoria's secret fashion show was the highlight of the year for the brand, and they had to make sure it was perfect.

"this is just to make sure that we are consistent." he yelled out, clapping his hands.

the angels got back into place and began strutting down the runway again. y/n was looking forward to this year's show, the artists and the outfits were like never before.

after another hour or so, the rehearsals finished, and all the models were free to go home. in contrast to everyone else, y/n sort of dreaded the idea. she would see her boyfriend, and he had been distant lately. she'd tried talking to him, apologizing, fixing her behavior, going on dates, but nothing worked. he was just as distant as ever, and it sucked because they were reaching their six month anniversary.

he'd been distant from the start of the relationship, but instead of the distance slowly closing, it just kept getting bigger and bigger. as she got dressed and drove to neymar's house, she tried calling him but he didn't pick up. he must be busy, she assumed. however, when she got home, there was no one there. she called out for him, but there was nothing. she texted him too, no response. she figured he might've gone clubbing, since it was friday night.

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four hours had passed since y/n got to neymar's house, and she watched as the clock struck twelve. out of pure boredom, y/n decided to check the news.

it was the usual, political disagreements between parties, international news, and something about a new research study that had come out. she scrolled through the headlines until she found one that caught her eye.

famous footballer neymar jr. seen at club with ex-girlfriend, bruna marquezine!

y/n felt her stomach drop. she collected herself. bruna goes out on fridays too, they could've just been caught at the same place, and the paparazzi decided to make a story out of it.

she clicked on the article. there were photos. that was neymar and bruna for sure. the first photo was them both at the same club. the second one was them talking. the third was him pulling her hand away to an isolated corner. the fourth was them talking again, and his eyes really did give it all away. he looked at her with longingness and desire, and she returned the expression. the fifth picture was them going back inside. the sixth was a photo of them together, smiling. he had his arm around her shoulders as she leaned into him.

there were too many photos for this to be fake. y/n felt tears fill her eyes. is this why he had been so distant? because he wanted bruna back?

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

at 1:30 is when neymar returned home. he came in laughing. y/n looked up from where she was sitting, a barstool near the kitchen counter.

"hi babe." he said, greeting y/n, which he hadn't done in weeks. "what're you doing here?"

"hey. missed you, so i decided to come." she smiled. "where were you?'

"club, couple of friends invited me to go get drinks." he explained.

"sounds fun! did you meet anyone else there?" she questioned, making sure to sound happy instead of angry and hurt.

"nah, just me and the boys." he brushed off.

"really? because every single news article is saying something else." y/n said.

they looked at eachother, dread instantly filling neymar's eyes.

"what are you on about now?" he asked, the change in his tone evident.

"famous footballer neymar jr. seen at club with ex-girlfriend, bruna marquezine." y/n read from the article.

he rolled his eyes.

"you don't actually believe that shit, do you?" he scoffed.

"i didn't, until six photos were shown. i didn't, until i realized you had ignored all my calls and texts. i didn't, until you started acting distant." she said, rage slowly beginning to seep into her voice.

"it's loud at the club, i'm sorry for not having superhearing. i'm sorry i get tired after running around all fucking day. and i'm sorry i ran into an old friend and said hi." he said, passive-aggressively.

"fuck off. you had to take her into a private corner to talk to her? you had to look at her like that? you had to take a photo with her where you're barely inches apart?" y/n spat, channeling his attitude back at him. "bruna's not just an old friend, she's your ex. if i did that shit, you would've yelled at me the minute i walked in."

"and what're you doing?" neymar chuckled. "i didn't want to talk to her in front of everyone, because i didn't want rumors to spread, but seemingly, they still did. i took a photo with her because she wanted me too. and how did i look at her?

"you looked at her like how you should be looking at your girlfriend, not your ex." she explained.

"she's not just my ex." he said. "long before she was an ex, she was a friend. and she's an established woman, don't act like she isn't. she's an actress, a model, a philanthropist, and a friend.i can't have friends now?"

"not when it's someone who clearly has romantic interest in you."

"so you're jealous?" he concluded.

"neymar! will you just fucking listen?" y/n yelled, not knowing where the sudden anger came from. "i'm your girlfriend so obviously, i'm going to get pissed off when you get a little to comfortable with your ex-girlfriend after you've been distant for the past couple of weeks!"

"oh my god, i was just being polite!" he yelled. "don't worry, the next time any woman comes up to me, i'll shove them off and say 'sorry, i have a girlfriend. please fuck off.'"

"but that's not what you said? you didn't even mention me because the way you were looking at each other and touching each other said everything!" she yelled back. she was not wrong here. "if i did this, you would be down my throat, and i would understand why, because i'm not supposed to be flirting with my ex when i'm in a relationship!"

"i wasn't flirting with her!" he yelled.

"then why don't you tell me what you guys talked about! prove it to me." y/n said, crossing her arms.

"we talked about our careers." he said. "she was the one saying we should meet up and we should go together, and i was the one who said no!"

"but you wanted to say yes! didn't you? you wanted to say yes." y/n whispered softly, feeling the anger turn into deep and utter sadness.

that look he gave her, that look spoke a million words he couldn't. a tear dropped from her eye. she hadn't cried in front of him for months. she quickly wiped away her tear.

neymar's attitude changed, the anger on his face softened to empathy.

"don't cry." he said.

"why, does it make you feel bad? does it finally make you see me as human?" she whispered. "does it hurt you or your ego?"

"that's not fair y/n."

"what's not fair is you dating me when you clearly still have feelings for bruna." she said, coming to a realization. "you never like me, i was just the next thing you could get to try. i was your replacement."

the tears started flowing again.

"no, no, y/n, you know that's not true." he said, walking over and trying to wipe the tears off her face, but she stepped back.

"who are you trying to convince? me or yourself?" she insisted.

of course she never felt close to him, because he was waiting for her to become someone she wasn't. he was waiting for bruna, one way or another.

"you've been dethatched from this relationship ever since it started, because you miss your last one. just do me a favor and admit so i can stop trying to make myself believe you somewhat care about me."

"i do care about you." he argued.

"really? what's my favorite color? when's the show? what's one of my hobbies? what's my favorite movie? when's my birthday?" she asked.

"your favorite color is (wrong color). the show is october 14. one of your hobbies is painting. your favorite movie is (wrong movie). your birthday is (your birthday)."

"really? because my favorite color is (your favorite color). the show is october 21. and my favorite movie is (your favorite movie)." she corrected. "now what's bruna's favorite color. when's her next film coming out? what's her favorite movie?"

"don't do this to me y/n." neymar said, regret clearly filling his eyes.

"answer neymar."

"pink. december 17. pixote." he said.

"and you remember all of that, don't you?"

"please y/n."

y/n shook her head.

"there's going to be a new headline tomorrow. feel free to explain to everyone why." she said, walking over to grab her keys.

"i love you." he said.

the words echoed throughout the house.

"no you don't." she chuckled, leaving through the front door.

[rootedinrevisions]

I'm Comin' Over

Summary: Ashley is sitting at home one night, staring at her phone. She knows she shouldn't call him. She knows it's a bad idea. But she can't resist and gives in. She sends Tyler a late-night text, and his response is immediate. Tyler arrives at her place and the two try to work out the issues in the relationship. SMUT.

The clock on the wall ticks monotonously, each second stretching into the next like the minutes of her lonely night. She sits on the couch in her living room wearing one of his old sweatshirts, its edges frayed and soft, paired with a pair of short shorts that seemed to emphasize how small and vulnerable she felt.

The dim glow of the TV screen flickers across the living room, casting long shadows that dance on the walls. Her gaze keeps drifting to the phone lying beside her, its screen dark and silent.

She scrolls through the endless list of streaming options. She flips through the titles with a listless finger, each show or movie offering no escape from the swirling thoughts in her mind. Her fingers click the buttons on the remote control, but her thoughts are consumed by him–Tyler. The weight of their unresolved issues presses heavily on her heart.

Her eyes dart back to her phone, which rests just a few inches away. She knows she shouldn't reach out. Their relationship has been teetering on the edge for too long, and she fears that any momentary comfort won't change the fundamental cracks. But the longing for him is palpable, and her resolve weakens.

She finds herself reaching for the phone. The screen illuminates her face as she stares at Tyler's contact. Her thumb hovers over the keyboard, the cursor blinking expectantly. 

She could call, hear his voice, and maybe he would come over. But did she really want to open that door tonight?

She sighs, finally giving in. Her fingers tremble slightly as she types a simple message: I miss you.

She hovers over the send button, her thumb hesitating as if weighing the consequences of her choice. Her heart pounds in her chest, and with a deep breath, she presses the button.

His response is almost immediate. The screen lights up with a notification: Tyler is calling. She answers, her voice barely above a whisper as she hears his familiar, comforting voice on the other end.

"I'm comin' over," Tyler says, and she can hear the urgency and warmth in his tone.

Minutes later, the sound of a key turning in the lock is quickly followed by the creak of the door as Tyler lets himself in. He kicks his boots off, them echoing softly as they hit the hardwood floor. He makes his way across the living room and takes a seat beside her on the couch.

Without hesitation, he leans in to kiss her. But she stops him, her hand gently placing itself on his chest. Tyler looks at her with a mix of confusion and concern.

"We need to talk, Tyler," she says, trying to steady her nerves. He hates that her voice falters slightly. "This...whatever this is between us...it's not working. We keep breaking up and making up, and it's exhausting. I think we should both move on. You know, get some closure–"

"Closure?" Tyler's expression hardens as he looks over at her. "To hell with the closure. Why would we want to end something that still has fire under it?"

She shook her head, her feelings a tangled mess of regret and desire. "But we keep doing this. We fight. We break up, and then we–"

"And then we make up," Tyler interrupts, his tone insistent. "You think that just because we fight sometimes means it's over? We've got something real here, Ash. I know it's not perfect, but it's still burning strong. Why would you want to put it out?"

She tries to argue, her voice rising with the frustration of her internal struggle. "I don't know if this is what I want anymore–"

Tyler leaned closer, his hand reaching out and cupping her face. His fingers were warm against her cool skin, his gaze piercing and intense. "You wouldn't have called me this late if you didn't want me anymore," he said, his voice soft and firm.

She opens her mouth to protest, but the words catch in her throat. She can see the sincerity in his eyes, the raw emotions that he's showing for a change. The weight of his words, combined with the closeness of his body, makes it hard to maintain her resolve.

Tyler's patience finally wears thin, and he leans in. His eyes lock on hers before he closes the distance between them and captures her lips with his own. The kiss is unexpected and intense. It's filled with an urgency that leaves her breathless. As his lips move against hers, the warmth and familiarity of his touch begin to dissolve her resistance.

She leans in closer to him, her hands finding their way to his neck and then his shoulders, anchoring herself to him. Tyler's hand slides around to the back of her neck, pulling her deeper into the kiss. She could feel the fire that had always burned between them reigniting with an intensity that made it impossible to think clearly.

He reaches down and pushes the blanket covering her lap to the floor, before grabbing her waist and pulling her body on top of his lap. Her body presses against his, and she could feel his heart pounding in rhythm with hers.

They continue to kiss, her hands going to the back of his neck and his hair. His sliding down her waist and around to her ass. As the kiss finally breaks they rest their foreheads against each other, breathing heavily.

She looks into Tyler's eyes, a mix of hope and apprehension in her gaze. "So, what does this mean for us?" She asks softly, her voice trembling slightly with uncertainty.

"I'm not ready to give up on us," he whispers as his lips gently press kisses to her neck.

"Ty...it has to be different this time. I don't want to keep fighting and breaking up."

"Then don't fight with me," he whispers as he reaches the collar of his sweatshirt. He pulls away so she can look into his eyes.

"I'm serious," she says.

He sighs, his hands resting on her waist as he looks into her eyes. "I know."

"You're always away, and sometimes...sometimes I feel like I don't hear from you at all. Days go by without even a text or a call. I have to watch your channel to see what you've been up to..." she starts to say before she stops herself to take a breath.

A mix of hurt and frustration crosses Tyler's face. "You think it's easy for me? I hate being away from you. I hate missing out on everything that's happening back here. I hate being away from you. I'm out there chasing storms because it's what I love, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. I just...I thought we could handle this"

She blinks, taken aback by his admission. The weight of his words hits her with a jolt. "Did you just...did you just say you love me?"

Tyler's face flushes slightly, a mix of vulnerability and determination. "Yeah, I did. I know I don't say it very often, but I mean it. I've been trying to balance everything, and I guess I thought you knew."

She stares at him, her voice trembling. "You've never said it before. Not like that."

He reaches up, his hand cupping her face as he looks at her. "I know I haven't been the best at showing it, and I'm sorry for that." He pauses to clear his throat before he continues. "But I do love you. I need you to believe me."

Her heart races, caught between hope and skepticism. Before she can say anything else, Tyler stands up, his strong arms supporting her as she wraps her legs around his waist. Her laughter bubbles up, a mix of surprise and delight.

Tyler grins, his eyes filled with mischief. "Let's see if I can show you just how much I love you. What do you say?"

With that, he starts to walk towards her bedroom, his steps confident but gentle. He makes his way over to the bed and lays her down on it. He presses a quick kiss to her lips before his hands grab the bottom of his sweatshirt and pulls it over her head, tossing it to the side. His tongue slides over his bottom lip as he realizes that she isn't wearing anything underneath the sweatshirt. His fingers then hook into the top of her pajama shorts as he slides them and her underwear down her legs.

He then turns and makes his way into the bathroom. She hears the sound of her shower turning on before Tyler returns a moment later.

"I haven't had a chance to shower since I got back, you don't mind if I use yours, right?" He smirks.

Her lips curve into a wide smirk as she props herself up on her elbows. "Only if I can join you."

He chuckles before he takes her hand pulling her to her feet and into him. His hands slide down her sides and around to her back as hers reach up to start undoing the buttons on the flannel he was wearing. She makes quick work of the buttons and he shrugs the shirt off. He then reaches down and grabs the bottom of the white undershirt he had on and pulls it over his head.

Her fingertips gently run down his chest, feeling the little bit of chest hair as she makes her way down to his jeans and belt. She makes easy work of the belt buckle before sliding the belt out of its loops. She then pops open the buttons of the jeans and slides his zipper down. He pushes his jeans and boxers down before stepping out of them.

He then takes her hand, leading her into the bathroom off her master bedroom. They step into the shower and the warm water hitting her skin instantly relaxes Ashley. It was as if all the negative thoughts and energy were washing down the drain too.

She closes her eyes, her head leaning back as she lets the warm water run over her skin. She feels his hand on her hip before he pulls her back against his chest. He leans in and starts kissing her neck and shoulder. Her arms reach up to run through his now damp hair as his hands continue to explore her body, his mouth leaving a trail of kisses all over her shoulders and back.

"T-Tyler–" she moans as she suddenly feels a stream of warm water between her legs. Her eyes roll back, and she feels her knees start to go weak as Tyler turns up the pressure just slightly on the shower head.

Her fingers dig into Tyler's hair as she feels her climax creeping closer and closer. She was sure her knees were going to give out when her release hit, and she hoped Tyler's hold on her would be enough to keep her upright.

Just as she thinks she is going to finish, Tyler pulls the shower head away and she immediately feels a throbbing between her legs.

A small groan, almost a whine even, leaves her mouth as she wants nothing more than to have the pulsing sensation of the warm water back between her thighs.

"Shhh, I've got you, baby girl. You know I'm not going to leave you like this," Tyler says as he puts the shower head back in place.

His hands gently turn her around so their chests are touching and they're facing each other. He reaches down and takes her hands in his, intertwining his fingers with hers before he places them against the shower wall above him. He leans in and starts gently sucking on her neck. One hand keeps hers pinned above her head while the other reaches up and cups her face as he kisses her lips.

His arm reaches down, wrapping around her waist before lifting her. Her legs wrap around his waist as he presses her back against the tile of the shower wall.

Her hands brace herself on his shoulders as his hands move to her waist, guiding her down onto his cock. They both let out a moan as he slid into her.

"God you feel so good," he groans as he presses his forehead to hers.

His thrusts start slow and teasing, almost painfully so. He pushes in a few inches and then slowly pulls himself out. Then he'd push in again, painfully slow.

"I n-need more." She whispers into his ear as she feels an intense need for her realist.

His hips start to pick up speed, slowly but surely. She clenches around him, something she knew drove him absolutely crazy.

"S-shit," he breathes out as he braces himself with one arm on the tile wall while the other slides around her waist to support her weight. "You know that shit drives me insane."

"That's the point," she smirks.

"God, I love you," he says before he leans in and presses his lips to hers.

His hips start thrusting in and out of her quicker, every thrust causing his tip to brush against the spot deep inside of her. Her moans get louder, despite her best efforts to keep them in. She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to subdue some of the noise.

"Let go of that fucking lip. Let me hear how good I make you feel," he demands, his eyes meeting hers.

She immediately lets go of her lip as her moans start filling the room.

"T-Tyler...f-fu–" she moans as she feels her orgasm approaching.

She was so close to her climax, that her legs started to shake. She just needs a few more thrusts, just that little something to push her over the edge. Tyler thrusts into her one last time, his name leaving her lips as he releases inside of her.

He gently sets her down on her feet, his arm staying strong around her waist. They both breathe heavily, their gasps for air filling the room.

"You okay?" He whispers as he lifts his head to look at him. He reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. She nods, her lips curving into a smile.

"I love you," she whispers.

"I love you," he says before leaning in to press a soft, gentle kiss to her lips. "I love you so much, baby girl."

[mxssingmemories]

Hey can write a fic where r is tony kid (dont care for the gender) tony was called to pick up r thinking they did something bad but instead its this

Like r used bear glue and got multiple of them stuck all of the school years later r is part of the avengers and they find out about this little prank

the school incident // tony stark x daughter!reader

summary: you've always been the type to enjoy pulling a good prank. unfortunately, your newest idea gets you caught and in major trouble. what happens when your dad (and the avengers) find out?

wc: 1k~

warnings: a giant penis (NOT nsfw i promise)

a/n: this was so much fun and i am SO sorry it's so late <3

When Tony got the text message that you needed to be picked up from school, he freaked out. His brain ran through so many scenarios so fast it made him dizzy; what if you’d gotten in a fight? What if you started a fight? What if you and Peter messed up big time? 

He shook his head to clear his mind, and ran down to the garage.

“Everything alright, Boss?” Happy asked, eyebrows knitted together. Tony just nodded, and slipped into his car. The fifteen minute ride to your school was filled with worry from him, the foot that wasn’t pressing on the gas pedal bouncing up and down repeatedly. He told himself to breathe; you didn’t need your dad to walk into the office panicking like a mad man.

He pulled into the parking space as quickly as possible, rushing to the all too familiar Principal’s office. “Hi, I’m here for Y/N Stark?,” he told the receptionist. She seemed to forget how to use words when she motioned him to the back. A blush rose on her face as he left, and if it were any other time Tony would have flirted with her just to embarrass you.

The air in the office was tense, and you sat in one of the seats with a blush on your face. You looked up to see your dad’s relieved expression that quickly turned into one of frustration when he realized you weren't hurt.

“Good afternoon, Mr.Stark. I’m sorry to pull you out of whatever..business you were dealing with, but Y/N pulled something we just can’t ignore.”

“It’s perfectly fine, sir. What did she do?” he asked him, his eyes narrowing at you across the table.

“I don’t think there is a delicate way to put this, Mr.Stark, so I’m just going to lay it all out for you. Miss Stark was caught on video supergluing what seems to be a massive..sex toy,” she muttered under her breath,”with one Peter Parker. His guardian has already been made aware of this and appropriate action has been taken. ”

Tony was, for once, speechless. He looked at you, the Principal, and back at you a few times. You could feel your ears begin to turn red as the silence got longer and longer, doing your best not to burst out laughing as it would only make the situation worse. His jaw was wide open, and he finally snapped back to reality when you reached across the table to shut it for him.

“What the absolute hell?” He yelled, forgetting where you both were for a second. You blushed even harder, hiding a snicker behind your sleeve despite your dad’s very obvious anger.

“I have somewhere to be, but I hope you have a good day. Please send me an email with the information about what you’re going to do with her. I assure you this will be taken care of,” he rambled gruffly, grabbing your arm and dragging you out of the office quickly.

On your way out, you passed the foyer. Despite your best efforts, Tony peered through the blinds to get a look at the “issue.” It was big enough to be seen from the office, and this just seemed to piss your dad off more. He averted his eyes quickly. His jaw was clenched so hard, you contemplated sticking your ring between his teeth as a joke, but decided against it knowing it would only make the situation worse.

The drive home was tense. His fist was tightly wrapped around the gearshift, only taking his eyes off the road to throw a glare or two at you. The minute you arrived at the tower, he grabbed your arm once again and took you to the personal floor.

“What were you thinking?! You could have jeopardized your education! Do you realize what this will look like to colleges?!” 

For some reason, you giggled a little bit, and the giggle turned into a laughing fit. Tony quickly joined you, laughing so hard tears were coming out of both of your eyes. 

“I can’t even pretend it’s not funny anymore,” he wheezed, bending over and dramatically falling to the floor. 

“You know what makes it even funnier?” you giggled, looking your dad in the eyes. “That wasn’t even the only one!” you shrieked, putting your head between your knees as you cackled. 

This only caused you both to laugh harder, clutching your stomachs like your lives depended on it. It took about five minutes for you both to sober up from the laughing ordeal, and an extra 5 for Tony to put his serious dad face back on.

“I have to admit it was a really good prank,” he smiled at you. “Even though it was fuckin’ hilarious, you’re still in hot water. I’m going to let you go without punishment this time, little miss, but if it happens again there will be actual consequences. Okay, sweetheart?”

You nodded your head in agreement, already bounding up the stairs to tell Pepper what happened.

“TONY!” She yelled downstairs, and he braced himself for the unavoidable lecture. In his opinion, though, it was worth it.

The team was in the main living room, gathered around a few files dealing with some “official business.” Amidst the normal files, there was one that stood out. It was titled “The School Incident.”

Even though they knew they shouldn’t be snooping, their curiosity outweighed their morals, and they clicked on the file.

In it was security footage from your school, detailing the exact moment the prank was pulled. Everyone sat around the table in shock, silence filling the room as they processed what they’d just seen. Apparently, you’d decided that this was the exact moment to walk in, and the Avengers all stared at you when you made your entrance. Dropping your backpack at the door heavily, you flopped down on the couch exasperatedly. 

“Y’all. I had such a weird day, this guy named- Why is everyone looking like they just saw a ghost?” you asked, confusion spelled out on your face. Your eyes focused next on what the team had pulled up on the screen, and realization flashed in your eyes as you jumped up and ran out of the room. You didn’t even bother trying to explain. The Avengers burst out into laughter as they followed you out of the room, the ruckus so loud it Peter could probably hear it in Queens. You had no choice but to run, and run you did.