#and I could ramble with you forever

[anna-scribbles]

they should've been at the club(infertility treatment centers)

[luck-of-the-drawings]

THIS THING IS SCUUUFFED AS HELL & ITS ALSO THE BEST THING I HAVE ANIMATED THUS FAR. IM SO IN LOVE WITH EMIZEL. JUST WISH I GAVE HIM MORE STUPID TATTOOS. NEXT TIME THO. NEXT TIME. I ALSO LOVE VEX&VIV SOOOO MUCH. charlies flavor of Deranged is my FAVORITE!!

[honeyspotpie]

Normal and Scary honestly have one of my favorite dynamics in the entire series - be it romantic, platonic, querplatonic whatever!! They just can't escape my little head they're permanently trapped in there and I desperately need to yap about them more AUGH... Yes, all Normal ever sought was feelings pride from his family; but in a way what he really wanted was unconditional love. People who would love him and applaud him for simply being himself, doing his best and not needing to "mask" or hide his interests to receive approval. And Scary was one of the only people who ever did that. Who actually unconditionally loved him. Didn't use or manipulate him, or lie about true feelings to comfort him. Yes she occasionally teased him or made meaner remarks (especially early in the season) but by the end of the story the feelings of pride she feels towards Normal and his achievements were SO REAL AND PIERCING. SHE'S ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO WAS GENUINELY WITH HER WHOLE HEART PROUD OF HIM. PROUD OF THE REAL NORMAL. PROUD OF THE STICKY, MESSY GLUE THAT HE IS. BECAUSE SHE KNOWS "HE'S ENOUGH JUST AS HE IS". AND THAT IN AND OF ITSELF MAKES ME SO ILL. COME ON.

[rainedroptalks]

What is it with fantasy high and girls dying before their lives ever began. How we can never really know who they are, or who they could’ve been. Brennan Lee Mulligan I will find you

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Ok. Ok. I honestly have no idea how Chani and Paul's relationship will be handled in the 3rd movie, and honestly? I don't care. I'm confident that however it's handled (so long as it's not some extremely OOC plot with her forgiving him and going back to him willingly, but I'm pretty confident it won't be that) it will change my brain chemistry.

But hold on. hOld on. Because as much as I love the thought of there being a lot of heat and tension and Feelings Feelings (99.9% of which are NOT positive) between the two of them, and it's likely that's the direction the film will go, I'm also somewhat intrigued by the alternative. That there's...nothing. Maybe not at first. But after twelve years, if Denis intends to keep the time jump as written, things fade. No hate, but no love either. As if they'd never known each other at all.

Because it's been twelve years. Nobody knows exactly how old the two of them are supposed to be in the films, but my personal headcanon is like 18/19. Meaning if Messiah keeps that time jump, it would put them in their early thirties. That's...a lot of time. That's a big difference in psychology, in emotional processing, in just...ways of life and ways of living. It's strange to me to assume that both of them would be exactly the same people - on their own or in regards to each other - after all that time.

And of course, that's not to say they'd forget each other entirely. Scars don't fade that easily. Everything Paul went through leaves a mark. Watching your lover succumb to the clutches of power and essentially becoming somebody entirely new, becoming your people's oppressor after swearing to fight alongside you in your rebellion as an equal (and for all you know, that was his plan all along) definitely leaves a mark. But twelve years is still a long time, longer still for people dealing with the level of shit these people deal with in day to day life. Whatever both of them could be up to for all that time leaves marks too, and adds to the pile of shit.

Especially, I think, for Chani. Because her anger and defiance against her oppressors began long before she met Paul. That is her purpose. Paul changed and grew along with her and because of her presence. He is forever touched by her and her memory, and won't, I don't think, ever be able to let go of that. And while Chani's rage and despair and pain at what he did is very real and very much not something I can see just fading away, I could also see her almost using what happened as an excuse to go back to whatever "normal" was before Paul for her. Almost as a coping mechanism. Because Paul did, in her eyes, essentially become a different being after the Water of Life. He's not the man she fell in love with. And maybe it would be easier for her to, rather than engage with that anger directly at him, just...let him fade into the background. He's not him anymore. He's just another evil to defeat.

I've just...realized I kind of have mixed feelings about the thought of her spending twelve years nursing her rage at Paul specifically. Of course it was a betrayal - probably the biggest betrayal she's ever known - and that kind of thing doesn't just go away. But she hated the empire before he was emperor. There's a depressing kind of power in going "ok, I guess it's no different than before, I'll just keep on going the same way I was before any of this happened." As if the months she spent with him were nothing, weren't even real. Just...the thought of Chani as an adult going on day to day with whatever she's doing to fight for her people's freedom, trying desperately to forget that the man who now holds that freedom in a yoke was once one she loved and trusted. And it getting slightly easier every day. Her dreams of her people's political victory mattered long before Paul came into the picture and will matter long after he left. It's not about him, it's still about the emperor. Whos is not the man she loved.

idk I *love* Chani's Feelings after part 2 and all that could come with that, I love it but part of me is also like...if they really do spend 12 years apart does she really have nothing better to do with her time (ESPECIALLY if it turns out she has a child) than plan her revenge against him specifically? Like. as the Emperor Of The Known Universe, yes, because he is at the top of the food chain of oppression she's spend her life trying to bring down. But not as Paul. Not as the man who betrayed her. Because all of that is wrapped up in personal, vulnerable feelings that I feel like to her would seem like a waste of time. She will not give water to the dead, and Paul is dead to her.

And all this would be more tragic because I'm sure, I'm sure that with Paul it's the complete opposite. He cannot forget her. He cannot have a life where he doesn't think of her. And a part of him would be still trying to protect her from his position probably, maybe even hoping in some distant part of his mind that she'll one day come back. Twelve years of grief and guilt cutting a hole in his chest versus twelve years of practicing how to forget.

And then. Again, I doubt this is the route they'll go because it's not as dramatically interesting, at least I'd love to see it in a fic (maybe I'll do it), but it would be so unusual to me to see them meet again, and their story not end in revenge or reconciliation. There's no forgiveness, there's also no surprise killing or coup or anything. Maybe Paul thinks it'll go one of those ways, but instead it's like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, for lack of a better comparison. His relief at her being alive, the indescribable regret, love that is still there, all of that met with...nothing. Because Paul, kid, it's been twelve years. She's moved on. She's fighting her fight, and you are her political enemy and that is all you are. She can't even hate you, because *you* aren't the one betrayed her. For there to have been betrayal, that would mean she had to have loved and trusted you, and she never did. She loved and trusted Usul, and you're Emperor Muad'dib. The two do no equate. She will never love you again. But she can't hate you, because she doesn't even see you as a person - let alone one she used to love.

@fuckyeahisawthat idk if you have a counterpoint or thoughts or whatever i just wanted to tag u

[absolutefuckingfreak]

pearl + franmaya thoughts

Bridge To The Turnabout is one of absolute favorite ace attorney cases of all time, this isn't really surprising as from what I've seen, its generally considered one of (if not) the best cases. It gives us the best thing that has ever graced this world, assistant Franziska. But also Pearl and Franziska interaction, and this one interaction is basically the foundation for people's interpretations of Pearl's idea of Franziska and Maya being together. And I love it. Some of my favorite plots for Franmaya fics are the ones where Franziska NEEDS to win over the approval of this. Literal child. For the sake of her relationship. Whether it be through Franziska making Pearl think she is so super cool, bonding through hurt/comfort, or Pearl just coming to realize that Franziska makes Maya happy, I absolutely adore when people write and/or make art about it. In canon, Pearl literally just berated Franziska, a grown adult, for being mean to her cousin..and Franziska took that personally. The scene itself is amazing because Franziska would never take criticism like that from anyone. But this 9 year old absolutely tears her apart in a way no one could even DARE to try. But this isn't about that one scene from BTTT that everyone knows about. This is me being stupidly self indulgent over a ship I love. Franziska and Maya being gay for each other aside, I love the dynamic between Franziska and Pearl. In a way, they're just like each other, which leads me to believe that Franziska would truly see herself in Pearl, and want to protect her like she were her own kin. Both prodigies, both destined for something amazing, both having corrupt parents. I feel as though Franziska would look at Pearl and envision a tiny Franziska, wanting to be just like her Papa, incredibly intelligent for being such a young age, and not really knowing any better of the horrors of having to grow up so fast. I think as close as they would become, Pearl would tell Franziska about what her mom was like, to Franziska's horror. I mean, Pearl's autonomy was kind of stripped from her. Maybe that's a stretch but with the way Morgan acted and talked about Pearl, I've always compared them to Rapunzel and Mother Gothel from Tangled. A lot of people hate Manfred Von Karma and believe him to be an abusive father, but I feel like there's reason to believe from multiple sources that he actually loved his kids. But this isn't about him and there's people who have explained this point way better than I ever could. Something I see a lot less is talk about Morgan Fey. Who was willing to kill her own niece so Pearl could take her place. Like her own blood. Back to the Rapunzel and Mother Gothel comparison, Mother Gothel values Rapunzel for her hair and that hair's ability to keep her young. Morgan values Pearl for her absolutely insane psychic abilities, believing she could be the one to put the branch family back on top. She wants to basically live vicariously through her daughter and will absolutely stop at nothing to get her goal achieved. Sucks to suck for her because it doesn't work but it also makes you go what the fuck! Maybe one day I'll make another post after doing a bunch of research on how this could pyschologically fuck up a kid (though I already have some idea). Franziska would absolutely want to protect this kid's innocence. Pearl doesn't know any better, she's a kid. She doesn't fully understand all the adult stuff going on around her and this is touched upon in BTTT. Pearl shouldn't know about all the horrible stuff that goes on in her family. She should literally be playing with dolls and probably learning how to use a whip, this is Franziska after all. This is technically a franmaya post and yet it has mostly been about Franziska and Pearl's friendship because well, I think franmaya needs to be there for Franziska and Pearl to even interact, because it puts that feeling inside of Franziska to have Pearl approve of her like a dad would.

Another thing I wanted to touch on because I cannot form a coherent train of thought even if I tried was the "homophobic Pearl" joke, which is just something I think is funny but also hope people don't actually take as a factual part of her character. Like ironically, yeah that's hilarious. Truly though, Pearl would not be homophobic, obviously?? Like someone could make the argument that Morgan instilled homophobia into her, but also she didn't let her leave the village so I kind of believe Morgan would think she wouldn't have to, if she wanted to even. If she doesn't leave the village how is she gonna learn about different kinds of love. Also Pearl is just, really into romance in general, she believes it to traditionally be between a man and a woman because that's what she's been taught, she's a kid. Also Maya is like, her idol, if she said she liked girls and boys (or just girls depending on how you hc her) then Pearl would gaze at her all starry eyed and go "YOU CAN DO THAT???" and probably think up a bunch of stories about princesses being together. Pearl being included in franmaya sillies is so important to me, Maya watching as two of her favorite people finally get along, Franziska feeling that protective instinct bubble up inside of her at the innocence of this little girl, Pearl coming to terms that Maya loves who she loves, and Franziska isn't as bad as she once was. They are so. Found Family. They matter SO much to me.

[asukiess]

Nathalie / Emilie / Gabriel. do you see my vision

[notdysfunk]

Oh man, I just saw that post you made about showing Moon Christmas lights and it reminded me of one of my own ideas (warning, this gets LONG, turn back now if you don't want to read multiple paragraphs of delusion)

SO, obviously you gotta show Sun and Moon all the beautiful sights associated with the day and night respectively, but what if you also decided to show them the opposite? I mean, back in the daycare even just seeing the outside world was probably considered wishful thinking, it's possible they'd never even thought about experiencing the other time of day.

Sun's easy, just gotta find a lantern or some other thing bright enough for his sensors. Then you can take him into a wide open meadow to gaze at all the different sights the night can bring. Fireflies, northern lights, shooting stars, honestly, even normal stars would probably leave him speechless. Just showing him how peaceful and beautiful the world can be at night. And Christmas lights. Strolling through a neighborhood on a chilly December night, admiring all the displays, until he stops at one in particular. One with light-up candy canes, and icicles, and decorated trees in the yard, and those statues of reindeer and snowmen, and even a Christmas tree in the window. Sure, he knew Christmas lights were beautiful, but he never truly realized just how beautiful. Then it starts gently snowing but the sky's so dark that when he looks up it looks like the snow is just spawned out of the darkness. And he stays like that, until you squeeze his hand, pull him a little closer, and you both continue onto the next house.

Moon's a little harder but for delusion's sake you do somehow find some sort of umbrella that blocks enough sunlight that Moon stays Moon. There's a whole lot more to see during the day but I like the idea of taking Moon to a flower garden, one that has all different types and colours and just showing him what they look like when they're awake. Or having a picnic in the park, setting everything up beneath a big tree, and bringing a really dark tent that he can sit inside when it starts getting too bright or he doesn't want to talk anymore. The two of you can just sit there and watch all the different people come though the park, a young couple holding hands, some joggers, people playing with their dogs, a bunch of kids on the swingset that's a little off to the side. Just showing Moon what the world looks like when it's most alive.

Obviously, Sun would always prefer the day and Moon the night. But maybe they'd start to appreciate the other side of the coin and these little excursions start to be part of your life. Hearing that there's gonna be a bunch of shooting starts and bringing the lantern along so Sun can make some wishes of his own. Or there's a festival that's only open during the day that Moon's interested in so you decide to make a big day of attending it. Showing these guys the whole world and not just the side of it they were designed to see.

AGAGAHBAHBAJDABFJBD OK OK OK SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING THIS FOR SO LONG ANON, I KEPT GETTING TOO GIDDY READING AND HAD TO STOP AND STIM FOR LIKE 20 MINUTES BUT. but! I have actually thought about this! I've always preferred Sun and Moon switching out for the challenge that comes with that and loving them both. (Making time for both of them) So, of course, I have thought a lot about how you can better improvise it There was someone on tiktok a loong while back (I don't remember who now augh </3) who had a very cool system for sun/moon's light sensors!! I'll put a visual here to help, but imagine that sun/moon have a few major sensor points all across their body. If the MAJORITY of those senors are lit up, Sun will be allowed out, if the majority are darkened out Moon will be allowed out

Think something like this ^^^ Ofc I don't follow this to a exactly BUT, using this you could theoretically get away with having Moon out during the day if he wears a hoodie and maybe pull the hood up!!! So I think it is totally possible to bring him out for a picnic hehehehe I LOVE UR IDEAS THO RAAAHH!!! Having Moon get to appreciate a park in the daylight, watching folks walk around and watching the sun filter through leaves. Sun gets to, for once in his life, experience a calm moment in his often chaotic life- gazing at the stars or bats that come out at night AAUGUGHRGHRHGR

[ganondoodle]

wait i just realized... the mastersword isnt even important enough to warrant zelda doing to such extreme lengths to repair it bc its NOT EVEN REQUIRED FOR DEFEATING GANONDORF

idk about you but the mastersword being not just this weak after all this but also not even required is like ... hurting the whole plot SO bad for all that zelda knew she was basically killing herself by doing the dragon thing ONLY for the mastersword, which isnt even needed to reach the end why do the dragon thing at all??? she could have put it in some other divine place for it to recover (she knew where the springs are, she knew where the krog forest is, heck she even knew where the forgotten temple is BC THEY WERE ALL THERE* and im not going to belive any of them came into existence afterwards), in botw it took 'only' a 100 years to regenerate the damage it took in botws past which, while not as extreme as in totk, was pretty bad! yeah it gets outright broken in totk but like ... really? far over 10 000 years to recover it? through ZELDA? one of the most divine being IN THE FORM of one of the most divine beings aside from the very gods themselves?? whats the use of it being able to regernate if it takes THAT long?? feels easier to forge a new one for that matter?? and the excuse that "it needed to be able to resist miasma" is like .. why tho? yeah ok fine i could do the entire bossfight with JUST the mastersword, but again, its not required! i can do it with anything else!! and its doesnt cleanse miasma either, like the sword did in tp when you could do away the twilight stuff when it got the super glow stuff so its really like ... she did that JUST for the sword? really? the fact that her becoming a dragon is the way to get her back into her time isnt something she could have known and it working out like that makes it feel like a massive fail of the writers bc it makes it feel less like an actual decision she made for good reason and more bc its a decision the writers made bc the writers already knew where it would end, the writers knew shed be turned back in the end no problem so they had her do the dragon thing despite it being pretty senseless from her perspective

(wouldnt it have felt more in character and logical to put the mastersword somwhere safe where it can recover over all those centuries and search for a way to return to her time herself? like in these two games ZELDA feels like the more important thing that the sword, -zeldas prone to sacrifice herself for other- WHY! its better for everyone if you are alive rather than dead! you got to this time by yourself and also somehow not jsut shifted the time but also PLACE bc you sure as hell didnt appear in a cavern in the middle of the land, you have wielded incredible magic before and are a researcher, surely theres some way for you to at least TRY to return on your own?? how cool would it have been to find little markers and spots where clearly she has left you some sort of message, maybe like a way for you to do something that helps her in the past, USE THE WEIRD ASS TIME BUBBLES FROM THE TUTORIAL AGAIN!! send back something she needs to return! go and talk with impa and purah to determine what shes trying to tell you, help her along the way and in the end she makes her triumphant return, having grown and learned with what she did instead of regressing her chaarcter to the big eyed maiden that you get as a reward at the end through unsatisfying bs reasons and hurray she doesnt even remember, perfect little fairytale of no consequences wahoo- im salty about this let me be salty-)

you can absolutely combine a free to explore open world with good story without restricting it by much, like locking the bossfight behind aquiring the mastersword doesnt feel like that big of a change and its not making it a whole lot more linear, most people do it anyway right?

(also a thing im doing in my rewrite of it is locking certain things for some parts, it just makes sense if you are trying to tell a story, but its pretty clear now they werent trying to do that, just throw you into a box of virtual toys, and i think thats just sad)

*yeah actually whats up with the sonau/rauru putting their little nuclear super weapon storage room inTO THE ANCIENT RELICT OF THE FORGOTTEN PAST TEMPLE BEHIND THE BIGGEST STATUE OF HYLIA IN EXISTENCE?? you cant tell me all those ancient ruins (springs, forgotten temple) were made AFTER all of the shitshow that went down in totks past; putting it behind that statue? building it into there feels incredibly disrespectful, maybe it makes more sense if you just see it as the devs wanting to put somethign new there, but if you consider it in universe its just ??? also HOW is any of it in such a good shape??, it looks like they buried sonia there a year ago, the structures look like they just came out of a 3d printer despite supposedly being older than their recorded history??

on that note ... how does the room with the order and location of zeldas tears make sense .. are you telling me someone of the past ran around after dragon zelda recording where her fucking tears went down and what markings it made on the ground and then built a room next to the nuclear weapon storage room with the laughably unceremonial grave of the fucking queen just to put all that into statue form? also none of the geographical things changed in ALL that time?? the castle is drawn on there too so i guess that was super fresh then since it "was built above ganondorf as a symbol of royal blahbla" at least in botw you had the photos on your SHIEKAH stone to recover them once you found the place they were taken in, it felt so organically integrated ..

[lovesickeros]

lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.

[nannycanes]

My friends and I are talking about how games are just dogshit and non-optimal nowadays, and I think the solution is to just go back to making games a physical media again. Limited size, forces you to clean/optimize your code, and doesn't absolutely eat your computer to install it.

Sure, games will be shorter, or look "worse"- but if developers lack the creativity to work around that, maybe they need to rethink their approach to games, you now? How integral is it to your first person shooter for it to look like the real thing? Can your game possibly function without taking up 100+GB on my computer? Why not? If your game was sold on a disc, it was sold as a finished product, or not at all.

As convenient as digital copies has been, I think stepping back from it to return to physical media should be an important step in getting games to be a functional medium again. I shouldn't have to update my computer's storage every 2 years or otherwise keep installing and uninstalling games that I can't even be certain I'll still own down the line.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.

[sharknark]

⬇️rant about a really good hengren (reverse renheng) fic i read. link at the bottom give it a whirl

i've never read a fic so well-catered to my tastes before in my life and the best part is that i was so caught off guard by how good it was cuz the tags and summary had me like "right this is some omegaverse-esque, rawr XD mating shit"

but from the very first paragraph i realized it wasn't just ao3-typical possessive mating shit it was (dare i say) IN CHARACTER possessive mating shit. underappreciated dan feng lore is the two hearts shit, duty expects him to smother his own empathy and perform cruelty obediently (and that being in his dragon form literally numbs his empathy towards mortals) but then it's flipped around and he's criticized for being too heartless

there aren't a great many english fics that take advantage of the 'numbed empathy' thing, so this fic using that to explore the toxic codependency that drove dan feng to making yingxing immortal in the first place is so!

dan feng's dragon heart prioritizing it's own indulgence and power, his human heart screaming against it for empathy and restraint, but both hearts united in this possessive adoration of yingxing... dan feng is possessive to the point of harming his partner, forcing them to take his affection, inherently contradictive to the protective impulse to see the other unhurt.

dan feng makes yingxing immortal in a really sketchy operation, despite knowing that yingxing is literally defined by his pride in being a short-life. he wants yingxing to be with him so badly that he does the one thing that would hurt yingxing the most, too blinded by possession, this sickly overbearing affection, to empathetically respect yingxing's death.

yingxing lived cramming every second he could into his craft and his goals precisely because he has so much less time than all the immortal species around him, but when he's forced into immortality, his hands are scarred and ruined past the point of ever crafting again. he suddenly has so much time, all this time he would've cherished as a mortal, but is totally useless to him now that his purpose for living and passion is gone.

so there being a scene in this fic where dan feng is moping "yingxing doesn't wanna fuck because he's glued to his workshop", being followed up with a scene of dan heng fucking blade while kissing his scarred hand and crying that he's "so sorry", yeah no shit asshole, his dragon heart got what it wanted, blade has all the time in the world to fuck and nothing competing for his now limitless attention and no one's happy about it.

as arrogant about being a short-life as yingxing was, it really is compensation for the discrimination he faced for it. other immortals looked down on him, so having dan feng, THE top dog, be so deeply enamored with him stirred his own toxic codependent urges. he was so desperate to have dan feng's eternal regard that he's willing to die for him (as in the sedition), his death being the force cementing his place in dan feng's heart forever.

so the fic having yingxing ruminate on this, that he had hoped for dan feng to love him even centuries after he inevitably died, only for the fic to end with:

yeah yingxing... you left an impression... he made you immortal.... everyone's upset by this

(that's what makes dan heng forgetting blade was ever yingxing to begin with all the more painful because, you went and turned him immortal and when it backfired horrifically you went on and fucking forgot, bitch i'd be pissed to the point of centuries long bloody pursuit of vengeance too.)

here's the fic go read it and leave kudos and a comment, technically porn but i got so invested in the character study that part barely registered. also yeah if you hadn't realized already super dead-dove:

blah blah "renheng is toxic" sorry that's why i like it

[gazlineart]

Star faerie (bisexual panic alien edition) au johnshi that broke sai every time I saved so I had to call it good here

Bonus: there's not a single brain cell behind those eyes and Johnny is failing upwards with high ranking aliens (he has priorities)

[pallanophblargh]

You know what the worst feeling I've been having lately is? Wanting more than anything to get back into Actual Art again but finding a sudden anxiety that stops me. Even if I'm still as capable as I was, it's the mental block. It's why I've all but kept commissions closed for this whole time: this overwhelming fear of letting people down. Especially in times as troubled as these, where money is tight, and patience is thin. I've always been blessed with such patient and considerate commissioners, but I would hate to test people because of my malfunctioning brat of a brain.

I just wish it came to me as easily as it did before the massive burnout/medication. But it's up to me to come up with my own motivation. And it's ME.

Anyway. Thanks as always for sticking around despite... all of this. I'll get back on the horse soon.

[saline-coelacanth]

Love the Duality of this guy