#and I cant say they didnt try
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#im feeling so discarded right now#probably just a split#but damn#the worst part wasnt the breakup itself#it was constant feeling of being pushed away that happened waaaaay earlier#i think its been happening for a year now#and it was not just the ex#twas the good friend we mutually had#their best friend#someone who I also had a deep bond#and both just#stopped talking to me#pushed me away#i was discarded#not worth their time anymore#god this feeling sucks#and I cant say they didnt try#but there was thisbunderlyint feeling they were doing it out of pity#that i was being a burden to have around#i didnt fit anymore#i was a stranger suddenly#and then#discarded#..........#fucking awful feelings that are not even through#im just having a split#hate bpd and how it makes me feel#bloodletting
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So does he, Gallagher.
#honkai star rail#hsr blade#gallagher#i based this off of how many times i used funny soda man to help be a healer with his poppin soda pop in SU#and then blade constantly just being blade as usual#its normally him saying unnecessary to my actual healer but#i kept forgetting gallagher heals and i kept healing when i didnt even need to so TECHNICALLY yeah it was unnecessary#but the amount of times blade was the recipient......#i cant use like most of my newer units in story bc i cant ascend or i run out of leveling mats so i just#get them and toss them into simulated universe for funsies cause i can match their levels better#so thats where i tossed gallagher and he is genuinely fun to play as ? like i love his punches and kicks to start the battle#funny soda man is funny (to me) and im really behind in plot still#but last time i tried to play it on my laptop and got a kickass cutscene my laptop lagged and i couldnt even see it RIP to me#so now that its like ... me trying to play it on desktop ?#i mostly get on desktop for comms and if i do much else i feel like im slacking off even if i would take a break anyway#one day i can play more story plot stuff and actually meet the funny guys#also in case you know me for Not Having Boys in HSR i need to point out#i did pull Gallagher however same 10 pull got a 4 star girl copy for someone i never use and she is at e4 now cool#and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher#so when i already had the dialogue planned and am drawing i was like OH WAIT haha im funnier than i thought#(no i am not but we can pretend)
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finally colored that Eddie scribble <3 rough day p.2!
#am i happy with this? no! but im tired of messing with it so this is what we get#i mean its not Bad but. sigh#i gotta get better at coloring stuff its my Art Weakness#no matter how much i try i cannot understand color theory#my brain simply says No <3#i have perfect color vision and yet. and fucking yet. cant use it for shit! yeehaw!#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#eddie dear#i hope he enjoys that ice cold soda - sold exclusively at howdys for a stellar deal only one hundred percen- *gunshot*#i would like everyone to know that i unironically initially wrong 'seld' instead of 'sold'#and genuinely didnt know why there was a little red squiggle friend underneath it for a solid minute#the brain is rotting <3 i go outside and the ravens start divebombing <3#i am living up to my url of 'carrion'#dead meat walkin babeyyyyyy#i think the chronic migraines are actually frying my neurons!!! yee! haw!
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vampire au- little christmas doodle, hope everyone is having a good holiday season
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#shadow the hedgehog#sonic au#vampire au#sonadow#i am. not very good at making seasonal pieces but hey#cant say i didnt try this year
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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I think relationships, be they romantic or platonic, between tinies and giants are so funny bc like, you're a giant and you look at your tiny friend/family member/lover and you just get that feeling of
"oh look haha it's literally the person I most love in the whole wide world haha it's all of my world and home compressed into a teeny tiny being hahaha it's- it's the reason I'm happy fitting in my hand, my whole heart beats for them and they take such a small physical space hehehe yeah if anything ever happens to them I literally can't see myself living another day hahahaha :)"
and then they just go on with their day like broo all of your love takes like- a few centimeters, get a life dudeee (i'm dude)
#g/t#giant/tiny#size difference#g/t community#this is so dumb#but i felt like sharing#i dunno if was able to express my point across but i cant say that i didnt try
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#we are the series#we are series#we are#phumpeem#pondphuwin#petri gifs#my cocky ass was like im gonna gif all the scenes!!#and its been six hours for this one set#cant say i didnt try#userminty#usersufa#userspring#uservid#this is somewhat of a peem pov thing idk if it shows but i like it#decided to gif this scene knowing its the one people would edit the most#im quite brave for that ill let you know
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feeds your narilamb yuri juice
dude i have great news about my regular narilamb
#theyre both so genderweird that if you put a lesbien flag behind them theyre lesbiens and if u put a gay one then theyre gay#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#ask#my art#i swear i swear im 100 percent genuine when i say this isnt at anyone or vaguing and i love all the fem designs i see theyre so pretty#but giving them dresses and bigger hair and saying theyre girls now gives me bad gender vibes for myself and i cant bring myself to#i dont like the harsh divide between gender and i try to avoid it for my own stuff if i can cause i dont prefer it#again everyone has their own interpretation and i swear i dont dislike it for other peoples but for my personal interpretation-#-i just dont like the vibes of Theyre Girls Now bc i didnt hc narinder as really a man before and lamb is lamb yk?
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The original in the bottom
Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny
#thats not my neighbor#milk man#just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates#monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school#(online school)#my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT#also little welcome home update#im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me#also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭)#the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit#only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭#also! im making easter art#yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!!#why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing#it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful!#im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to#high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not)#maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me...#also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh#ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me#imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope)#even if its little dumb posts#by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES”#just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded#hehe didded
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I will say this once because I'm tired of seeing stupid discourse: anti-transmasculinity is not about being treated bad because we clock as men, it's about being treated as stupid little girls because transphobes think we've been tricked into this.
It's kind of the opposite of transmisogyny- instead of fear and revulsion, it's constant condescension, the implications that we've been whisked away from femininity by scary bad guys, that we're going to cause 'irreparable damage' because we don't know what's best for ourselves, somehow. People fearmonger a lot about the "ugliness" of transfem people, but for transmasc people that 'ugliness' is used as a warning- you'll look like THIS! You'll go BALD! Your top surgery scars will leave you MUTILATED! A lot of aesthetic concerns. Worry about our 'beauty'. Because it comes from that same stupid reactionary 'we gotta SAVE the WOMEN' shit, but this time they have to save them from getting 'stolen away', as if we're being seduced or pressured into this. As if we can't make our own decisions.
For TERFS specifically, they're losing one of their own. We're 'gender traitors', willingly aligning ourselves with the half of the population they consider unilaterally dangerous and evil.
We aren't REALLY trans, we just want the benefits that men get. You don't actually want to transition, you're just trying to avoid misogyny.
You aren't actually a man, you're just a self-loathing lesbian.
Why can't you just be a butch girl? Why can't you just be a tomboy?
Why can't you just be something that I don't think is icky?
Anyway. Like all things, it boils down to misogyny. Women stupid and gentle, dont know what best for them, evil men trick into taking man juice, must save because lady stupid and dont know what best for them (having babies and being Feminine).
Theres like. Obviously more to this but I'm just a Transmasc Rando explaining this from my perspective, and I'm not the best with words. Anyone is free to hop in and add on to this
#long post#transphobia#spitblaze says things#anti-transmasculinity#several disclaimers#i do not think misandry is real.#i think stigmatization of masculinity is real with a lot of women and terfs specifically#i think a lot of people whether they know it or not consider men to be inherently 'bad'#i think men are very often treated as emotionless and 'tough' by default which causes a lot of issues#but thats not anywhere near the level of misogyny. its a separate issue and not related#im not trying to say that trans men somehow have it 'worse' than trans women?? what would thay even accomplish. this isnt a pissing contest#and even if it was I'd lose#and my wording isnt the best bc this is a Midnight Rant and not a scholarly article#if you want to pick a fight about semantics consider that theres a good chance that i genuinely didnt realize what i said#anyway uh. yeah. this discourse is dumb i cant belive its happening#and i especially cant belive how bad people are at articulating the actual point of the matter#(not that im one to talk lmao)#doin numbers
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that was an exercise in "who's going to tell Orym and Dorian to fuck" chicken
#and everyone lost#silver sending stones#dorym#orym of the air ashari#went ape shit in the tags again whoops#dorian storm#cr spoilers#cr 3 e 110#sam I NEED YOU TO DO BETTER#he almost got him#Braius ALMOST got Dorian#and i super thought ashton was going to#but alas#dorian is going to be on deaths door and orym is going to press seedling into his hands because seedling can /heal/#hes crying and trying to save him and he doesnt care if thats not how it actually works.#hes doing this for the wild mother so the wild mother can do this for him. she can bend the rules of her own damn relic#and she does. the sword heals dorian and hes coming to and orym is crying over him “please. i can lose someone else”#“without will. without you i cant.”#“i didnt even get to say i love you”#and dorian reaches up with a weak hand and says “you just did”
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number #1 tactic that people use to not sound as racist as they are when they talk to black people: 'uhh so you AMERICANS need to stop pretending everything is about YOU. why should i know this im not from the us :/' (= is talking about like. a phenomenally internationally well-known black artist)
#myposts#kendrick lamar#drake#i updated it from 'white europeans' to 'people' because some people pointed out that 'gringo' is probably more south american lingo#but the point i wanted to make is like. there is this subset of european people (quite a lot of them)#who try to deflect by saying them not knowing these things isn't because of an active lack of disinterest in black culture and influences#and like. them not knowing who a certain black person is is never an educational failing on their side of any sorts#but instead are pretending that like. they are by virtue of being european always correctly educated on What History And Art Is Important#like. 2 months back that one post pretending that 'us europeans dont need to know all your AMERICAN writers 🙄' talking about james baldwin?#like just because that person didnt know who james baldwin was#they immediately were mad at the implication that They Didn't Know Someone Of Cultural Significance#and twisted it into 'well he cant be that important by virtue of me not knowing him'#like completely ignoring that the european school system also has. race problems and also ignoring that he lived and wrote in France too#but like. its this really racist defence mechanism of like. 'well you stupid americans always make everything about yourselves'#i hope i make sense i didnt think this would blow up lol#and like some people in the notes of that post were so smug about not knowing who Kendrick Lamar is#bc to them thats like 'oh im too cultured to be listening to rap of any sorts' like completely dismissing his music as kind of second class#by virtue of it being rap and black music and him not being in the White Mainstream as much as other musicians#(i mean hes still like 24th most listened artist worldwide but you get what i mean)
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shoutout to the like 2 people that ive seen post leoidikei it wormed its way into my brain and now im just SITTING HERE with it stewing in my mind forever
#i was gonna try to draw more but im sleeeeeeeeeeeeeepy these past few days have caught up to me lol#leoidikei#leoide#idikei#leocay#leona kingscholar#idia shroud#cater diamond#twst#shipping#twisted wonderland#cereal tries to draw#it is the week of . me drawing a bunch of rarepairs lfshdgkjsfh#also i cant pick up the tone but like. idias bday duo with leona#where it's like 'omg leonas celebrating my birthday wadda hell'#and leona goes 'youre a guy worth celebrating idia' like.#my gut expectation is that hes saying it in that snarky sarcastic smirky tone he talks to like literally everyone with lol#but also how does that work here fjkdshglkjf i feel like thats what id expect if he was saying something like#oh wellll youre the man of the hour we gotta pay our respects hehehehe#but like idk. it kinda just sounds nice LOL#anyway i love that they played chess for like a billion years in the middle of the interview. like they fully pause the interview 2 go PLAY#and then theyre both like goddamn that took forever 😔 ksjklfhsgkJFDKLSHG they didnt even say who won... was it like a draw can that happen#anyway leona has a bday duo with cay and idia has a bday duo with leona now we just need cay to have a bday duo with. one of them.#idia would complete the circle lol but at least he gave cater magicam anime stickers in cay's bday voice lines#thats sorta what i was trying to convey but i kinda just drew emojis lol#i wanted to draw something based off the leoidikei memes but i drew this instead and now im SLEEBY but#i think about them often i cant lie LOL#that and like the one fanart ive seen of them. godspeed my fellow rarepair warriors
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Thinking about the episode where Nessie Jr hatches and how Colonel Baird assumes that Ezekiel is goofing off so she gives him a job to do and he keeps trying to get that job out of the way as fast as he can so he can go back to the very important job he was doing.
There's so much to be said about that part of the episode!
The way colonel baird assumes he's goofing off, the way he doesn't even try to defend himself until after he's already finished the thing she was stopping him from doing, the way he only explains why he was on his phone after she's already scolded him multiple times, the way he HACKED a GOVERNMENT SATALITE from his CELL PHONE, the way he genuinely cares about the egg despite it being dumped on him because of the assumption that he isn't working on something worthwhile, the way he's genuinely upset that he almost killed the egg by accident, the way he doesn't realise a bunsen burner will kill the baby but knows how to HACK a SATALITE from his CELL PHONE, the way he doesn't really care that Baird kept him away from his important work because of an assumption, the way he never tries to curb her assumption, the way he's only annoyed and really only mildly scolds her for making him take longer to figure out the other's were in big trouble, the way that this episode deeply effects how Baird sees Ezekiel, there's just so much to be said
#ezekiel thrives off of these types of assumptions of him#he knows he cant be upset with her for assuming hes goofing off because she thinks that by his own design#he goes out of his way to make a facade of himself everyone will fall foe#so hes not upset that she fell for it#but he is a little upset that they could have saved the others sooner if shed just let him be#i think him not even trying to defend himself until hes already done says so much about him#like she made him get off his phone like three times and not once did he explain “actually im doing important work on here to make sure our#friends are safe“#not once did he refuse to do the job she gave him#do you think he never told her until after because he thought she wouldnt believe him#he didnt get the chance#he didnt think of it#or he just didnt care enough to tell her#did he think he needed proof in the form of it being done?#did he worry about it making her feel bad if she knew she made a false assumption about him that made his work harder?#was he trying to keep up his facade for as long as he could? only to let it fall when he knew for sure the other librarians were likely in#danger?#like i said#so much to be said here#ezekiel jones#eve baird#nessie#nessie jr#the librarians
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My piece for @daily-teki's DTIYS !
#your turn to die#yttd#memory dance girl#teki tsutone#teki yttd#yttd memory dance girl#my art#daily teki dtiys#oh i have so much to say about this one.... but ill try to keep it short#i decided to take a more... scenic? approach#just to push myself a bit more#and i wanted to incorporate the chain motif more. yes i rendered them all except the purple ones (u cant even tell those are chains...)#shes the star of the show.... but at what cost#its not super different from what i usually draw but it felt nice to work on this one :)#oh also yes i changed the camera angle. hope that's ok#i didnt use any references for the pose and the lighting though so if it looks like ass. sorry#btw the file got corrupted 3 times#the gods of local memory storage didnt want me to finish this one but here it is anyway
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for anyone wondering, what about Han Sungsoo? 🤔 it seems that he hasn't been the CEO of Pledis since early 2022, the role until now was filled by Lee Dahye, a former VP for Bighit. HSS has still remained in the company but was demoted to an internal director
if you're wondering how you missed this, don't worry, there was never an official announcement! 🙃 carats had to find this out more than a year after the fact by doing some digging
but now Lee Dahye is being replaced by Kim Yeon Soo, who's the original VP of Pledis before they were acquired. He's the one that appeared on SVT Club, and he has historically had a good relationship with Seventeen. the way I always thought of it is Nu'est was HSS's project group, where Kim Yeon Soo oversaw the creation of svt. after the acquisition, he was put in charge of Hybe Labels Japan. it seems now he will remain in that position while also taking over as Pledis CEO
personally, I don't know what to think of this yet. on one hand carats have always had a positive view of Kim Yeon Soo, and he's always seemed to have a close relationship with svt. and I would say I'd rather have him in charge than a hybe plant
but the timing of it is very convenient. this is pure speculation on my part but with Seungkwan's Instagram post recently and all the stuff going on with hybe, it wouldn't surprise me if hybe was bringing in Kim Yeon Soo to try and appease the members (and possibly other Pledis employees). it definitely feels like they're trying to appease /somebody/ with this move, and I can't see it being the fans since most carats didn't know about Lee Dahye being the CEO in the first place. so I can only assume it's people within Pledis they're trying to appease 🤷♀️
#i didnt post about lee dahye directly when i found out bc i still wasnt totally sure if it was true#even though the evidence seemed to be pointing that way#although im pretty sure i remember posting a vague rant about hybe when i found out lmao#its interesting bc even after the acquisition even though i hated hybe#i felt it was still better for the members to re-sign and stay in pledis#bc where else would they go that would still have the resources to support them? especially when they seemed to be doing okay under hybe#even if i didnt like the company#but now i really do hope they leave#idk where they go or if it means they cant promote for a while or if it means they cant use the svt trademark and branding anymore#but all my worst fears about hybe have been proven true and i wouldn't be upset at all if they just left#which is not something i ever thought id say#like my ideal is that pledis could break from hybe all together but i know thats unrealistic#and its so frustrating bc i know its just a company but pledis has had such a rich and unique history of not only artists#but creative directors producers and other employees#but its been changed almost to the point of unrecognizability now#even nana who was with the company for 15 years left which says a lot#even the people who were loyal to pledis despite everything have started to leave#what does that say??#anyway im home sick today so i had time to rant#might turn rb's off later but ill try leaving them on#melia.txt
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