#and I can't really articulate why
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#saw the phrase 'your future husband' and got ticked off#every time#and I can't really articulate why#it's something about...it feels like you're in a holding pattern?#just waiting?#very 'when will my life begin?' kind of feeling#and I know the ladies here know how annoying that is#I dunno I know I've already complained about this same subject lol#but I was raised (at least on my mom's side of things) not to buy into the whole soulmate thing#mom doesn't even say 'my husband is my best friend'#she sees that entire relationship as something else#they're a partnership. a team.#and it's a choice#a choice they both make every single day (sometimes every hour...) and a commitment they renew all the time#I don't believe there is 'one perfect mate' as Henry in Ever After puts it#I believe you can meet a person who is your equal and who shares your goals and values (hopefully) and things line up and#*and you agree to do life together#(which is why I don't necessarily have anything against arranged marriages if the two people involved consent to it)#(that's a different subject but in a solid community the people arranging it would know the marriage works in some way)#(hopefully because they know the people in question and how they would complement each other)#so this whole 'my future spouse' feels like it's setting up these impossible expectations which leads to disappointment OR compromise#(I also never made a list of qualities I would want in a husband so maybe it's just me)#(ok I have a small list but it's not the kind teenage girls generally make)#seriously were things better back when there were fewer options?? sgkhdgkh;aga genuine question#this isn't fish in the sea this is a salmon farm#ok I'm done
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Who's your favorite character/boss from deltarune?
I think the easy answer leans mostly towards
but I have a special love for all of them.
#haz answers things#deltarune#spamton#lancer#spamton g spamton#spamton deltarune#lancer deltarune#these ones stick in my brain a certain way for some reason#lancer from ch1 (and it seems he's sticking around for future chapters)#and spamton from ch2 (my reasons may differ than most people but i can't really articulate why)#i don't really like how they are often fanonized#and it makes me sad that people will pay more attention to that than something a bit more faithful#but that's a rant for probably never#also if you compare the sprites pixel-by-pixel lancer is actually taller than spamton#there's your food for thought
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Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.
#simon says#to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb#you might not have done enough research#you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument#you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this#sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution#you do what you can to fight against the problem#you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem#and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem#like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue#but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face#they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you#and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing#sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that#i used this while talking with my Dad tonight#he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution#and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now#and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it#and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate#and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before#i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help#and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change#but all I really could do is the little things I have control over#and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over#like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet#which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue#and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best#so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment
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Close ups on the pocket details!!! I'm SUPER happy w how the top pockets look 😳😳😳
I think the variety of pride pins with the moral panic button/Mr Faggot beadwork just. Really sells it. Shadow the Hedgehog voice Pee Your Pants. If you're going to be a shithead about me I'm going to be really annoying and do a bit about it. Plus the little golden angel pin... ALSO really pulls the whole thing together. "God help you" Right in front of my guardian angel? Really? 😒And how could I not make mention of. The Skull. I love you The Skull. It's a button (not sewn on yet, pinned) that I filled the details in w nail polish. Oh yeah! Besides the bottle cap pins (acrylics sealed with mod podge and a prayer), the biggest addition there is the chain lining the pocket flap! I think it looks SO SLICK
The pansy was gonna go on the queer side, but then I got the boutonniere idea! And I think it looks nice! Kinda adds to the asymmetry of the floral print/plaid blocking. And... of course.... I have... my friends...... 🥺 Biggest additions here are the glow-star pentagram pin, soda tabs and the heart locket!
I don't really have many new additions to the bottom pockets. Not yet! The only thing I did was stitch one side of the handcuff chain, and rearrange the pins holding up the other side. The cuffs/scorpion was just an impulse addition before going to a concert. But I do like it! And it looks even better now! Meanwhile, that other pocket, I actually have no idea what I'll do. Sakura is just there cause she matches really well, esp w the angel pin actually!
#punk tag#diy punk#my projects#I FORGOT I USED THAT TAG .#also i AM gonna put patches on this thang I PROMISE. I WAS TOO SCARED LAST RUN. THIS RUN. WILL BE DIFFERENT.#again still waiting. but i really really wanted to show off/talk about the details!!!!!#i have sooooo many Thoughts behind this jacket like. an entire ideology. it almost feels like drag in a way#like! in the sense that there's a performance and art going on here. if my existence is inherently controversial#then i'm gonna lean into that. make you sit with that. and i'm NO LONGER CUTE ABOUT IT#<- guy who called himself cute yesterday bc I LOOKED REALLY GOOD. IT WAS AWESOME. OKAY#i forget i have a body and a face so much.#also! the cuffs!!! feel like a slight nod to the kink community. like. i really do feel like the demonization of kink#is the reason why so much. everything is so bad. i have thoughts about this but i can't fully articulate them rn#but like. points at the sign that says all queerness and esp queer expression is kink in the eyes of bigots#points at the sign that those are my friends you asshole. it might even be me. who knows....#any which way! really coming together! i do really need to get studs though i think. the. horrors.#and also i'll look sick as hell.#rn i feel it's... well. not exactly subtle but i am fortunate to live in a safe area. i live in mind your own business state.#not like. saying that to you i mean like that's the general attitude where i live LMFAOOO#the worst i've gotten is a lady saying 'god help you' to me in passing. and that was really recent#an indication of ohhh changing tides. unsettling. but also she couldn't even look me in the eye when she said that lmfao#any which way! i am thinking of my safety but also i do feel like i'm lucky enough to have time.#my jacket
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it sucks that patt is so dead set against aninpin while being a lesbian herself but i kinda get the feeling that she's pushing to marry her to keua because 1) she's trying to take control of the events this time since she knows how it ended for her and can't see it ending another way for pin 2) she is so set on keaua being the other party because essentially, it Makes Sense. Anin's mum could see it too. It's perfect on paper. And patt knows abstractly that feelings can develop after marriage because everyone says that, but she can't really comprehend loving a man so what does it matter who it is? Kuea is the son of her friend. She's possibly known him for a while. She has to marry pin off asap. Kuea appears to be the best she has. So i can see her reasons
#the loyal pin#idk if this makes sense im sure i could have articulated that better if i wasn't sick in bed with moderate pain#purple.mp3#why am i a princess patt apologist anyway. idk. but i can't really hate her
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i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?
i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever
more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there
#mio answers things#anon#i'm getting a little better with making things for my ocs#on account of having friends i can actively share my brain rot with#but i still dread the feeling of posting a character and being forever haunted about never doing anything with them ever again#(echoes of custard howling in my mind)#just like how i dread having a repeat of that time in middle school#where i talked about my werecrow oc in the comments of a bigger artist's works#and they ended up making their own werecrow oc immediately after#they very much directly aligned with mine#but it got wildly popular on their account and they made a ton of art for it and i just#ended up deleting any evidence of mine because i felt so bad about it skjdfhgkldhfkgj#like i have no problem with people taking inspiration from my designs#i think it's fun seeing people design vy2s with two toned hair and kyos with pink eyes and hair pins w#but like. the thought of posting my oc and having someone run them through a blender to make their own character makes me feel. bad.#i can't articulate the specific reason Why it makes me feel bad but it does skjfghdkjfgsdhkjf#like if i finally posted theater gang stuff and then saw someone else take those concepts and make them into their own characters#i might just collapse into a pile of beef trimmings and never get up sdfkjhglksjdfg#it's silly and i don't know why my brain's like this but because of this in combination with my fear of posted oc things haunting me foreve#i simply will not be posting <3333#(and also just that. i'm incapable of producing enough artwork to make my ocs matter in a public context i think.)#(like you breed affection for a character through familiarity)#(which you only really get by creating A Lot Of Art)#(and i cannot do that <333)#(so instead most times i post it's a few handfuls of likes)#(and that doesn't really feel worth it to my brain when i could just settle for going insane over them with my friends skjdfhgkjsdf)#i really think this last year has just taught me that i really. honestly truly prioritize the reactions and feelings of my friends#over strangers on the internet#and it feels a lot more comfortable that way w#AH
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#ensemble stars#enstars#polls#mayoi ayase#to be honest both of them kinda give me the vibes of like. when people find a guy lost in the woods ir shipwrecked or something#and then his clothes are ripped so they have to find him some 'new' clothes just among what the others have packed. if that makes sense#like. it doesn't feel like he bought these?? or even really borrowed. he acquired them#...i can't really articulate why he gives me that impression he just does okay 😭😭😭
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outer worlds with all the dlc and thief 4 (thi4f?) are free on epic rn. outer worlds i don't think i gave a fair shot to, i played it when i was very very sick, so i'll go into that with an open mind when i do get around to it. the fourth thief game. hm. well. i played that one when i wasn't unwell. i'll say this. it will cost you zero dollars
#text post#oh i'll say this also. the hand animations were very good#i really bounced off worlds very hard but i can't quite articulate why
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gonna be honest; don't know how i feel about this one.
#i hope youtube finally lets me upload 3 minute shorts because i don't think i can sum up my feelings on this in a minute#i definitely didn't dislike this episode#but i also don't think i liked it#but i can't really articulate why. gonna have to sit on it#helluva boss
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Feeling extra unwell about Felix
#i cried like three times in the last 12 hours and i'm about to cry again and i can't really articulate why#i think it's “feeling lonely” + “feeling possessive over a hyperfixation” + “feeling inadequate 'cause why am i so obsessed with this”#i just hate when like#i can tell my emotions are kinda irrational but i can't stop feeling them anyway#does this make sense
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I freely admit that this post is more propaganda to try to get people to consider using a book journal than me actually believing that People In General keep book journals, but consider: keeping a book journal.
#saw somebody make a derisive comment in the tags of a post about keeping a book journal#something to the effect of 'no? i don't do that?? because i just remember what i've already read????'#(strong implication that if you can't or don't Just Remember then you are stupid and defective)#and it got RIGHT up my nose.#oh really? really? you remember the exact correct title and author of every book you've ever read?#you remember when you read it and what the context of that time was?#you remember your impression of it at that time and every thought that it sparked in you?#you remember WHY this one hit so hard when you read it this time when last time you tried it left you cold? or vice versa?#or why this one struck you so hard but this other similar one you also read didn't?#and how being able to hold together having read both of them helped you understand and articulate WHY the other one didn't hit?#and maybe also helped you understand something fundamental about people's viewpoints? or the way the world works and why?#and you remember that revelation? and always will?#and you can conjure all of these memories to mind on command?#and not just end up with only 'the cover was green and in the end it turned out they were sisters'?#and any of us who don't have your impressive mental faculties are just stupid?#ok. sure. I super definitely believe you.#anyway i love my book journal#everybody who enjoys reading and thinking about books should at least give keeping one a shot
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I'm gonna be honest with you guys. He is my specialest little mob boss.
#I am SUCH a Johnny stan and I can't even really articulate why I'm just obsessed with him#The Sopranos#Johnny Sacrimoni#Anna watches tv#Anna watches The Sopranos#x#Johnny tag
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huh. i'm weirdly... angry? tonight for some reason
#key speaks#tried to articulate myself in the tags and it made me realize#...ah. i'm incredibly frusturated and questioning why i'm even going to university. that's why i'm feeling like this#but like#i am Never just angry like this#i am PMSing but that's still not a thing i do#in hindsight there have been many clues throughout the day#but it's still WEIRD#i really really REALLY want to be DONE with homework for the night#but i CAN'T be and it SUCKS#UGHHHHHHHHHH
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one key difference between me and felix is that I saw this and immediately went 'oh-- but that's not a Tolkien quote, that's directly from the movie adaptation (I haven't even read the book since I was twelve, but I happen to know this because it was mentioned in a long post about the movies I saw on tumblr like a year ago and minute details about random things stick to me like gnats on flypaper)'
and the difference is that I thought 'okay god that's insufferable of you, who cares' before I could even consider actually saying anything, but felix thinks it only immediately after doing so
#he's really quiet a lot of the time as a defense mechanism for how often he says something out loud and IMMEDIATELY winces#it's not like he doesn't KNOW he just doesn't catch himself until it's too late#nobody likes a know-it-all :') you think you are simply sharing fun facts but then everyone wants to kill you with hammers#BUT I WILL SAY. I *am* lowkey using my blorbo as an excuse to exorcise 'I can't articulate why this bothers me but it genuinely does'#lmaooo#that's NOT-- he DIDN'T-- it doesn't matterrrrr who caresssss but I can get it out of my system on tumblr where it's harmless lol#I would not have made a whole post just for 'that's a misattribution and it's stressing me out' without the framing of being about felix#because that's insufferable and who cares. but also *I* cares. AND ALSO I'll take any excuse to talk about the lad#about me#my OCs#felix#posts from facebook
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18 for Gehrman and 22 & 25 for Laurence!
(Asks from this ( x ) meme)
18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?
We only really have Laurence, Maria, Doll and Moon Presence because whereas Willem, Djura, Eileen and Ludwig are addressed there is so much to headcanon about them that it probably evades "in canon" category... :') I really love the depth and the sadness of both his bonds with Maria and Laurence, regardless of whether they're romantic or platonic. I am a little antsy that they've left some lines suggesting a much deeper bond with Laurence in cut content realm, but I am reusing everything I physically can, sooooo xD
There is also Paleblood Hunter which I love to think is sort of reincarnation of Laurence ( x ), but this one, again, either falls back into Laurence category or there isn't enough to develop during just one night.. 🤔 Final product suggests that Gehrman loves all hunters equally, including us, which is still sweet!
22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?
Hahaha, tough luck, I only read fanfics from either 1) people that are unreachable and would never interact with the fandom or 2) people I trust deeply as friends! Reading fanfics became way too important emotional experience for me to mentally manage feeling rejected by the writer as a person. But in the AU where I am a normal person without such deep insecurities, I say everything regarding his story is good! Byrgenwerth era where he only starts picking interest in holy blood? Good. Early Healing Church? Good. His last days where he can't save himself anymore? Good. Whatever time of his life you take will be interesting, because HE is interesting! I definitely adore how Laurence is included in your fanfic, both his personality and his actions!
I do not know the state of Bloodborne fanfics well enough to judge, so I think my general turn-off applies; romantic/sexual fanfics that have such little character-specific or lore-specific context that if you detach the characters from the source material no one will notice! Good ship fanfic is the one that specifically applies to these characters, not just a random fantasy with their names attached! Easiest cheat with this problem is having characters reminiscise or address some prior events in canon, especially if they led to... uhhhh, the """interaction""", but really, there are various ways to bind them to the setting 🤔
25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
YEEEEES YES GOOD QUESTION!!!! My first exposure to Bloodborne cast was getting recommended a compillation of boss themes with images attached on Youtube, so I just saw a BW image of his beast form without any context paired with his theme. For some reason I thought he was some wise, serious, dignified monster found (fought?) somewhere in library-like place, and that he could talk too!
I was yet to discover how feral this form of him really was, or that he even used to be a human to begin with! I thought this videogame just had monsters x) Now I am also aware how dirty his hands are, when I thought he was a morally grey character until [player] would disturb him for some reason. He is very complex and deep. Love him for that, but the guy is so heavy that memeing about him is easier dfshfhds But I was right on the money with 'dignified librarian dad' impression, after all! *spoon-feeds you my "Laurence is a son of Cainhurst librarian and quite a bookworm in general" speculation for 700th time*
^^^ This is also the closest I can get to my first mental image of his human form after I've learned he had one and was a scholar in Byrgenwerth! You can see dark hair and buttchin were always there, but he used to have green eyes and less facial hair... Also his glasses were exclusively for reading. And he was tall and less "cute". I agree the "handsome" beta Laurence is a bit better than my final product <:3 He feels more... laurence-y xD If I am to ever create something 'serious' for Bloodborne, like maybe a large comics, I might roll back to this image more, but for now it is all little kitten Laurence for me.
Thank you for asking!
#bloodborne#laurence the first vicar#ask replies#fandomry rambles#doodles#I really just can't remember why I 'shrunk' Laurence#he evolved from handsome man to a guy so skrungly you wanna feed him from a cat bowl dhfhsfdfsd#okay he is not THAT scrungly but he is 'cute' xd#still! eating from cat bowl together with micolash for this man!!!!!!#(look I can't articulate what I am trying to say very well but I think you understand me)#(autistic on autistic telepathy)
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So I was curious how different trigun stampede is from the original so I decided to do a quick watch through of the first episode and I have to say
Where is she.
#Trigun stampede#Trigun#Also its very interesting to see the difference#Its funny Meryl isn't a reporter in the og#And the vibe is different in a very distinct way I can't quite articulate yet#I still really enjoy both so far i'm gonna keep watching them together I think as long as I don't lose interest#but seriously where's Milly i've seen people talking about her why did you remove her
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