#and I can’t wait to see her find herself
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ellecdc · 3 days ago
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i absolutely LOVE the winter games idea it’s so cutesy ☺️☺️
could i have ☃️ “hey, look.” ¹ “aw, they’re so cute when they’re asleep.” ² with the lions (poly!marauders + lily; still haven’t found a good name for them yet but it is my all time favorite ship. lots of love to go around 🥳)
LOVE YOU MAMA ELLE 💋💋
aahhh thank you Evie!!! <3
poly!marauders + Lily x fem!reader who waited up for them [692 words]
CW: Lily scolds the boys, they mostly deserved it, Snivellus reference, fluff
The Slug Club’s holiday party ran late tonight, which meant that so did James and Sirius’ detention. 
“Can’t believe I’ve managed to make sure I was never invited to the bloody thing and I still had to attend.” Sirius grumbled as he loosened his tie.
“Be swotty like Rem and Lils, get invited. So we do the opposite-”
“Now, I wouldn’t call flooding the Slytherin bathrooms the opposite of being swotty.” Remus contested with a smirk. Lily didn’t find it nearly as funny. 
“And we still get invited!” James continued as though he’d not been interrupted. 
“Again… I wouldn’t call serving detention by serving hors d'oeuvres-”
“We can argue semantics all night,” Lily muttered as she shouldered on ahead; legs shorter than any of the boys’ yet forcing them to speed up in order to keep up with her, “the bottom line is that we were supposed to meet up with Y/N after the party; and whilst two of us were there on purpose, the two of you could have spent the night with her and not left her waiting.” 
The four of them were approaching the portrait hole by the time Lily turned to see three rather contrite boys hanging their heads in shame. 
“Sorry, Lils.” James murmured, Sirius nodding quickly. 
“I’m sorry too.”
“Me…too?”
“No, Rem.” Lily sighed around a smile, and she let out a reluctant breathy chuckle when his shoulders fell in relief. 
“Sorry,” he offered with a shy smirk, “force of habit.” 
The common room sat vacant; all students having either attended the Slug Club Party, attended the much more popular and heavily attended anti-Slug Club Party for those who weren’t invited and felt rather jilted by the matter, or long gone to bed.
“She’s not here.” James surmised aloud which saw Remus placing a comforting hand on his shoulder at the sad lilt of his voice.
“Do you think she went up to the dorm?” Sirius asked, and Lily fought the urge to roll her eyes at him. 
“Probably went back to her own common room; tired of waiting ‘round for the lot of us.”
Sirius grimaced at what he could tell was ire still being directed at him as Remus let out a sad hum.
“Should we go find her?” 
“It’s late, Jamie.” Sirius responded as he made for the stairs towards the boys common room. “I say we-”
“Hey, look!” Remus whispered loudly as he halted from where he’d been following after Sirius.
Lily came around the corner of the sofa to see you - wrapped snugly in a Gryffindor throw blanket - sound asleep. Exactly where you said you’d be waiting for them. Her heart was both broken that they’d left you hanging and so warm at the sentiment.
You’d waited for them. 
“Awe!” James cooed, causing Remus to snort at him as he pinched his side chidingly. 
“She’s so cute when she’s asleep.” Sirius commented as he leaned his weight on his forearms against the back of a chair to watch the steady rise and fall of your chest.
“You take that back, Sirius.” James scolded. “She’s so cute all the time.”
“I’m going to be the opposite of cute if you two wake her up.” Lily threatened sternly, gently lowering herself to her knees in front of you and brushing gently at the skin above your eyebrow. 
The four of them took a moment to appreciate the view; you looked so warm and so content bathed in the warm glow from the fire whilst the candles in the Christmas tree behind the sofa backlit you in a way that made you look ethereal and otherworldly. 
“Can’t believe I had to offer Snivellus pigs in a blanket when I could’ve been here snuggling her.” Sirius pouted, earning a commiserating sound from the back of James’ throat. 
“Why don’t we get her upstairs, hm?” Remus offered, causing James to jump to attention.
“You guys go, I’ll carry her.”
“No fair! That just means you’ll get to snuggle her first!” Sirius whined as Remus ushered him in the direction of the stairs.
“Fat chance.” Lily argued. “If anyone gets to cuddle her first, it’s me.”
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dissapointu · 2 days ago
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All Arcane characters.
How would they react if they were in a bad situation and ended up in a difficult spot with their s/o across from them, totally unharmed.
They thought their s/o would help them out but was surprise to see us turn and rush away like a scared mouse, resulting them to the defend theirselves.
🤷 short answer: we got scared and ran away, leaving them behind
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if their s/o ran away, leaving them in a tough spot:
————————————————————————
Vander:
The fight was intense—too intense. Vander had his hands full with enemies surrounding him, but he always expected you to be there, fighting by his side. He turned for a split second, looking for you, ready to get through this together. But then he saw it—you were running. Like a scared animal, darting into the shadows, leaving him to defend himself alone. His heart sank, confusion and hurt mixing in his chest.
His breath was steady, though, and his fists were still strong as he fought back, making sure they didn’t think they had the upper hand. But he couldn’t stop the sting of abandonment. “I thought we were in this together,” he muttered to himself, eyes flicking to the empty space where you once stood.
When the fight was over, he stood tall, a silent disappointment settling deep in his bones. He’d protect you to the end, but now, he’d be waiting for you to explain why you ran. He deserved answers.
Jinx:
It was chaos. Explosions. Fights. The kind of madness Jinx thrived in. She expected you to be at her side, playing along with her crazy world. But when she turned, seeing you dash away like a frightened bunny, her heart stopped for a moment. “What the hell, Y/N?!” she screamed, her voice laced with hurt and disbelief. The wild energy she had was suddenly gone, replaced by a frantic, hurt panic.
But she didn’t have time to dwell on it. She couldn’t. Her mind spun into a whirlwind of chaos as she threw herself at her attackers with everything she had. After the fight, when the dust settled, she’d be furious. She wouldn’t yell, though. She’d just… watch you. Cold and distant. “You left me,” she’d say, her voice trembling with something more than anger.
Vi:
Vi didn’t need backup—she was used to fighting alone, after all. But she thought you’d be with her. She thought you’d be her partner in this, but when she looked over, you were gone. Her brow furrowed, and the weight of betrayal hit harder than any punch she’d thrown. Her punches were fast and furious, each one fueled by the anger coursing through her veins. But inside? She was hurt.
When it was all over, she’d turn to find you. “What the hell was that about?” Her tone was sharp. “You think I can’t handle it without you? You think I needed you to save me?” She was angry. Angry at the situation, but mostly at you for running.
Sevika:
Sevika didn’t flinch when things got bad. She never did. But when she caught sight of you running away, her eyes narrowed. There was a flash of something—disappointment, but mostly anger. She didn’t need anyone to fight for her, but she thought you’d be there. She thought you’d be strong.
After the fight, her steps were heavy as she walked toward you, her gaze unwavering. “I didn’t expect you to be a coward,” she said, voice low and dangerous. She wasn’t going to beg for an explanation—she’d make you come to her.
Silco:
Silco was no stranger to betrayal, but this? This felt different. When you ran, his heart didn’t skip a beat—no, he didn’t have time for that. He fought, every movement calculated and precise. But inside? It was the kind of hurt he couldn’t shake.
Once it was over, he’d find you. He’d never raise his voice—that was beneath him. But he’d make sure you understood how much you’d disappointed him. “You don’t leave me,” he’d say softly, his gaze sharp. His tone wouldn’t hold anger, but there would be no mistaking the weight of his words.
Ekko:
Ekko was used to being the one who ran. He didn’t expect you to run too. When you bolted, his heart dropped, confusion clouding his mind. Why did you leave him? He fought through the pain, taking down enemies with precision, but every time he landed a blow, he couldn’t shake the disappointment. You left him.
Once it was over, he’d stare at you from across the room. “Why’d you leave me?” His voice wasn’t angry, but the hurt was there, deep and raw. You were supposed to be there with him. Together.
Jayce:
Jayce always wanted to protect you, to keep you safe. But when you ran, his world tilted. His hand clenched around his weapon, his thoughts scattered. He couldn’t understand. Didn’t you trust him? Didn’t you believe in him?
As the fight went on, he did his best to keep his cool, but the sting of betrayal made his attacks fiercer. After it was over, he’d turn to find you, his voice low but filled with disappointment. “I thought we were in this together.” His gaze would be soft, hurt, but still firm. Why?
Viktor:
Viktor’s mind was sharp, his focus honed like a blade. But when you ran, it knocked him off balance. His heart skipped a beat. Was he not enough? Was he too weak to keep you there? He pushed through the pain, every step he took calculated, every move precise. He couldn’t lose. Not like this.
When the fight was over, he’d take a moment to gather himself, his breath shallow. He wouldn’t yell—he never did. But when he found you, his words would be quiet, but full of meaning. “I thought you knew me better than that,” he’d say, the hurt hidden behind his calm tone.
Caitlyn:
Caitlyn had always counted on you. She never doubted you’d be there. But when you ran, her heart plummeted. She fought through the chaos, but something was off. She couldn’t stop thinking about you, about why you’d left. Didn’t you trust her?
After the fight, when it was all over, she’d find you, her gaze hard but concerned. “I thought we were a team,” she’d say, her voice wavering just slightly. “Why didn’t you stay with me?”
Mel Medarda:
Mel had never expected to rely on anyone, but she’d thought you were different. When you turned and fled, her heart tightened, and she was forced to keep her composure, her voice cold. She wasn’t surprised—no, not really. She didn’t need anyone. But the look of abandonment hurt more than she let on.
When it was done, she would find you, her eyes cold but searching. “Did you really think I couldn’t handle this without you?” she’d ask, her words sharp like glass.
Ambessa Medarda:
Ambessa was all about power, and she didn’t need anyone. But when she saw you run, she was… disappointed. She thought you’d be stronger. But she didn’t let it show. She took down her enemies with a practiced ease, her movements calculated.
After the fight, she’d stand before you, arms crossed, and would stare you down with those piercing eyes. “You think I can’t handle things on my own?” Her voice would be icy, the words cutting deeper than any weapon.
Cecil B. Heimerdinger:
Heimerdinger was used to thinking quickly, but when he saw you run, his heart sank. The sudden abandonment was something he wasn’t prepared for, though he didn’t let it stop him from pushing forward. After the battle, he’d find you, adjusting his glasses with a quiet but stern gaze. “I had hoped you’d be more capable,” he’d say, his disappointment palpable.
Salo:
Salo wouldn’t show his hurt, but deep down, it stung when you ran. He had been prepared for anything but that. He didn’t say anything during the fight—he didn’t need to. But when the dust settled, he’d face you, his tone low. “I don’t understand,” he’d say. “You didn’t think I could handle it?”
Scar:
Scar was a survivor. But when he saw you run, he paused for the briefest second, a flicker of something in his chest. It wasn’t betrayal—it was confusion. He finished the fight, but when it was over, he’d find you. “You left me. Why?” The question was quiet, but the weight behind it was immense.
Maddie Nolen:
Maddie was fierce, but when you turned tail and ran, it shook her. She wasn’t the type to rely on anyone, but she thought you were strong enough to stand by her side. When the fight ended, she found you. “What was that about?” Her voice wasn’t angry, but the confusion was clear. You left me.
Lest:
Lest never expected to be abandoned. When you ran, she gritted her teeth and fought harder, but deep down, she was… hurt. When the fight was over, her voice would be quiet, but full of meaning. “You left. Why?”
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rhiannonsknife · 1 day ago
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okay so we’ve all heard about mean jackie, the one who js uses r and wtv but what about a jackie who’s kinda obsessed with r but isn’t afraid to show it? maybe shes like all over r at school and especially at parties or after soccer practice/matches.
btw i js wanted to say i absolutely ADORE ur writing and its genuinely refreshing!!
── .✦ DATING JACKIE TAYLOR
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— summary: dating jackie taylor hcs.
— warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff. established relationship. gn!reader. one brief mention of jackie’s death (my bad…). did not beta read.
— a/n: i hope this is enough fluff to make up for the insane amount of jackie angst on this blog…
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jackie who loves physical touch and who’s lowkey so clingy with you.
she isn’t shy about physical affection. at all. whether it’s holding your hand in the hallways (partly to show you off, partly because she just wants to feel your presence) resting her head on your shoulder during lunch, or draping herself across you at parties, she always needs to be in contact somehow. jackie doesn’t care who’s watching. in fact, she wants people to watch, dwelling in the attention it brings: the little whispers and lingering glances from classmates as she casually tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear or leans in close to whisper something only you can hear. it’s not just about the spectacle; it’s jackie’s way of marking her territory, showing everyone that you’re hers.
jackie who loves when you stay after school to watch her practice or show up to her games.
after every match or practice, she’s practically glued to you. she’ll jog over, still sweaty and out of breath, and throw an arm around you. and if you’re wearing her jacket or an old jersey while cheering her on? fuck it: she’ll kiss you right there, in front of everyone. she’s a sucker for the post-match attention, especially after the yellowjackets have won (even more so when jackie is the one to score the winning goal): when it’s just the two of you and you invite her out for dinner to celebrate the victory <3 you usually stay longer to watch her practice, too. jackie insists on sharing her post-practice snacks with you afterwards, as a treat for waiting on the bleachers. even if you have your own food, she’ll claim: “mine taste better though,” only to pop a piece of granola into your mouth with a smug grin.
jackie who tries to act nonchalant about you…
…but fails miserably. she isn’t exactly mean, (okay maybe a bit) but if someone tries to get too close to you, her possessiveness does come out, no matter what. she’ll slip her arm around your waist, pull you closer, and flash her sweetest (but most fake) smile. “oh, hi! didn’t realize we were having a little gathering here” she’ll manage, squeezing you just a little tighter. at this point, everyone at school knows jackie is into you. she’ll stop mid-conversation to greet you, abandon her friends to sit with you, or even bail on a party if you’re not going. it’s clear to anyone paying attention that you’re her favorite person.
speaking of which: jackie always seems to know where you are in public places.
you honestly have no idea how she does it, but jackie finds you either way. she’s a literal human magnet, always attracting you or the other way around. whether it’s in the halls, at parties or soccer games, jackie will find you in the largest crowds. she doesn’t mean to be overbearing, it’s just that being near you feels right to her. you’ll instantly know it’s her, when a pair of arms wraps around you from behind and someone’s peppering your neck in kisses. “there you are” she’ll whisper gently.
jackie, who loves to make you blush!! <3
she’ll casually brush her fingers along your arm while whispering something flirty in your ear, or she’ll lean in just a little too close when you’re talking. (not that she could ever be too close to you) she lives for your reactions and they way she can watch your cheeks flush red. even when she can’t be there to see your reaction, only the idea of knowing you’ll be flustered all over again is enough for her to leave little notes in your locker that you’ll find by the time she’s already in a different class.
jackie, who keeps reminders of you everywhere!!
she keeps photos of the two of you in her planner or pressed into her notebooks, and sometimes you catch her smiling at them when she thinks no one’s looking. she might even replace her beloved heart charm necklace with a locket you’ve given her, keeping a picture of the two of you with her wherever she goes (okay okay this is too angsty to unpack but: jackie who takes this locket with her on the flight to the nationals…jackie, whose only reminder of you in the wilderness is the little, square shaped photograph of you…jackie who dies with her fist clutched around it. ANYWAY.) but ALSO: jackie whose locker is basically yours too. half of it is filled with your stuff: your jacket, a book you mentioned liking, even snacks you said you enjoyed. she’ll tell anyone who asks that it’s because “they always forget their things, so i’m just being helpful”
jackie, who gives you the cheesiest nicknames known to mankind.
and she’s only half joking too. she mostly does it to get a rise out of you and hear your laughter when she curls up against you and buries her face in the crook of your neck as she comes up with something hilarious like “babycakes”. your groan will only spur her on and draw a giggle from her lips as she pokes your sides playfully.
jackie, who will spoil you rotten.
you mention something briefly that you’d like to have? jackie will buy it for you. you’re out for lunch? she’s paying. you mention that you don’t have any nice clothes to wear? she’s taking you on a shopping spree with her dad’s credit card. especially for special occasions like christmas or your birthday, jackie is all over the place, ensuring to get you at least one big present that’s better than whatever your other friends and family have gotten you. she also insists on taking you to the nicest restaurants in town. jackie orders for you with 0 hesitation, knowing all your favorites, and never lets you pay. she’s doing it with the best intentions, though: it’s never about showing off or flaunting her/her parents’ wealth, it’s all about showing you how much she cares!!
jackie, who calls you in the middle of the night.
on the rare occasions when you’re not sleeping at the other’s house, she sometimes calls just to hear/fall asleep to the sound of your voice. you don’t even have to talk about anything important (though you will, most of the time). for jackie, it’s enough to recap her day, ask about yours, or just hear your voice. if you sound tired, she’ll tease you for staying up for her, though deep down, she appreciates it more than you know.
jackie who asks you to go to your prom before graduation together.
showing you off in the halls is definitely not enough: she is determined to take you to prom too, especially because it’s your last one before graduating. jackie would go all out for her promposal, i just KNOW IT: gathering your favorite flowers and leaving a heartfelt note in your locker. when you find her waiting nearby, she’s grinning ear to ear. she’d be so serious about it too, no matter how you feel about the formalities etc.! she insists on taking you dress (or suit!) shopping and makes sure you get the outfit you feel perfect in, even if it means trying on a dozen options. she beams at you every time!! <3 guys i’m having a moment here but also: jackie who gets you matching accessories for prom night!! jackie who instantly drags you onto the dance floor the second a slow song plays!! jackie who’s holding you close the whole time, whispering how much she’s going to miss moments like this after graduation!!
rhiannon stealing your clothes this, rhiannon stealing your clothes that. guys. jackie stealing your clothes!!
she insists on “borrowing” your hoodie or jacket all the time. but here’s the thing: she wears it in public constantly, not just around the house. she loves showing off that she’s got a piece of you with her wherever she goes. when you finally ask for it back, she grins and says, “you can have it… after you give me something else to steal” sometimes she’ll show up in clothes you don’t even remember giving her, grinning knowingly.
jackie, whose plans always include you.
whenever she starts making plans for the future, it is as if you’re an inseparable unit. it’s like she can’t even picture a life where you’re not right by her side. she’s got it all planned out, and it’s not like you’re complaining. the two of you were supposed to go to the same college anyway, but it still warms your heart to hear that she’s imagining a future with you and that you’re not limited to your highschool years.
jackie who’s so so proud of you no matter what.
she gets ridiculously proud of even the smallest things you do. did you answer a question in class or get a good grade? she’ll lean over and whisper, “you’re a genius.” scored a point during fucking gym class? she’s clapping loudly from the sidelines. “that’s my partner!” she’ll say to anyone within earshot. she’s your own personal cheerleader!! regardless of all of these things, she sometimes overthinks the whole situation. given the fact that she never cared for someone the way she does for you and that this is her first time in a truly loving relationship, she’s probably worried about doing things the ‘right way’. she’ll hesitate before asking if you’re happy with her, or quietly admit she worries about losing you. you’re obviously there to reassure her time and time again!!
jackie, who’s a hopeless romantic in denial!!!!
when jackie loves, she loves hard. before you, she hasn’t even known this side of herself, so she’s surprised to find out how much of a romantic she turns out to be. everyone notices how much softer and happier she is when she’s with you. the usual sharpness in her voice fades, and she’s all smiles and easy laughter. jackie is unapologetically obsessed, down bad, if you will!! she’ll always come up with something sweet to do with you, whether it’s dragging you outside to watch the stars at a party, hand-feed you popcorn during movie nights, or even burn a cd of your songs to blast in the car.
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dancinglikebutterflywings · 12 hours ago
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F*ck Tradition | Yoongi
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- Pairing: Min Yoongi x Fiancee!Reader - Requested by: No One - Synopsis: Y/N takes Yoongi with her to go wedding dress shopping because her fiancées opinion is the only one that matters. - Requests: Open for now. Please read my requesting guidelines before requesting. - Warnings: None - Word Count: 1,125 - this was meant to be a timestamp but turned into something longer. - Taglist: Open. Send an ask or fill out the Tag List Form.
Min Yoongi Masterlist | BTS Masterlist
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"You should try it on," Yoongi suggests to his fiancée, noticing her stealing glances at the black wedding dress tucked away in the corner, far from the sea of traditional white gowns. It feels like the hundredth time she's looked at it since they arrived, and while Y/N might think she's being subtle, he can see her fascination as they wait for the consultant to help them.   
"Try what on?" she asks, attempting to make her interest in the dress look less obvious as she focuses on her soon-to-be husband. 
"The black dress that you can’t keep your eyes off," he grins, fully aware of her feelings. After all, he knows her better than anyone else. Leaning in a bit closer, he lowers his voice. "I can see it in your eyes, Y/N. You love that dress already." 
"But wedding dresses are supposed to be white, right? Something traditional. What will people say if I choose that?" she asks, unsure. 
"Who cares about other people’s opinions?" he replies confidently. "It’s our wedding day, mine and yours, and we can wear whatever we want. If that dress is the one you want, then wear it. Fuck tradition. We’re already breaking it."  
Biting her bottom lip, Y/N glances back at the dress, its fabric shimmering subtly under the store's lights, the deep black hue contrasting beautifully with its white surroundings. It’s unlike anything she’s ever imagined, yet she finds herself drawn to it. 
Before she can say anything, their consultant returns, "Sorry about that," she apologises for the wait, "Have any of the dresses caught your eye?" 
"The black one over there," Yoongi replies, pointing to the dress while Y/N shakes her head in protest. She’s about to decline, but he gently stops her. "Just try it on and see how you feel in it." 
Noticing the uncertainty in Y/N's eyes, the consultant adds, "Many of our brides are opting for non-traditional dresses these days. Just last week, we sold a lovely baby blue gown, and a dusty pink one a month ago." 
Y/N glances between Yoongi and the consultant, her heart racing at the thought of stepping outside the traditional boundaries of what colour a wedding dress should be. The black dress, with its elegant silhouette and intricate lace and beading detailing continues to lure her in. But, the weight of tradition looms heavily in her mind, casting shadows of doubt.  
"Okay," she finally concedes, her voice steadier now. "I’ll try it on." 
The consultant beams, clapping her hands together in delight. "Wonderful! Let’s get you into that dress," she says and leads them to a more private fitting area before going back to get the dress.  
As Y/N steps into the fitting room, her heart races with a mix of excitement and anxiety. She glances at Yoongi, who takes a seat on the couch, his expression a blend of encouragement and anticipation. 
“Just remember,” he says, his voice steady, “this is about you and you get to wear whatever you feel comfortable in.”  
Y/N nods, taking a deep breath as the consultant returns with the black dress draped over her arm. “Here we go!” the consultant smiles, “let's get you into the dress.” 
A wave of excitement washes over Y/N as she follows the consultant into the cozy dressing room nearby. The thrill builds as she undresses, and the consultant assists her in putting on the dress. The cool fabric glides against her skin. As the consultant makes adjustments, Y/N catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. The dress fits her curves beautifully, enhancing her figure in a way that feels both empowering and stunning. The lace flows elegantly down the dress, and the beadwork sparkles in the light. For a moment, she forgets about the traditional gowns she had considered.  
“Wow,” she whispers, her voice soft. The reflection looking back at her is not just a bride; it’s a woman who feels confident and daring, ready to embrace one of the most significant days of her life.  
“You look amazing!” the consultant praises, stepping back to take in the sight of the dress. “It fits you perfectly. We might not need to make any adjustments. It seems like it was made just for you.”  
Y/N turns, her heart racing as she twirls slightly, the fabric swirling around her. A smile spreads across her face, the joy of the moment enveloping her.  
“Shall we go show your future husband?” the consultant suggests. 
Y/N's heart skips a beat at the thought of Yoongi seeing her in the dress. She nods eagerly, her excitement bubbling over.  
The consultant leads her out of the dressing room, and to where Yoongi is still seated on the couch, waiting. Y/N takes a deep breath, trying to calm the fluttering in her stomach.  
She gives Y/N a reassuring smile, and with a gentle nudge, she steps forward. “Ready to see your beautiful bride?” she asks, getting Yoongi’s attention. 
Yoongi looks up from his phone, his expression turning from curiosity to awe in less than a second, and Y/N feels a rush of warmth flood her cheeks. 
“Wow,” he breathes, his eyes widening as he takes in the sight of her in the black dress. “You look absolutely breathtaking.”  
A shy smile spreads across Y/N’s face. “Do you really think so?” she asks, her voice tinged with disbelief and hope.  
“More than anything,” he replies, standing up and stepping closer, his gaze never leaving her. To him, the dress reflects her personality—bold, elegant, and unapologetically herself. “That dress... it’s perfect for you. It’s like it was made for you,” he repeats the consultant’s words from earlier. 
Y/N’s heart swells, and she can’t help but feel a surge of confidence.  
The consultant watches the exchange with a satisfied smile. “I’ll let you two have a moment alone,” she says, stepping out of the room to give the couple some privacy.  
Yoongi and Y/N share a look filled with love and excitement, and in that instant, all the stress and pressure of wedding planning fades away. Y/N can feel tears in her eyes as she stands before him. She takes a deep breath, trying to steady the emotions swirling within her. “Thank you,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. 
“For what?” he asks, reaching out to wipe away the tear that had fallen, as he steps even closer to her, being mindful not to step on the dress. 
“Noticing me looking at the dress, convincing me to try it on,” she replies. “Knowing me better than anyone else.” 
“So, this is the dress?” he asks. 
“This is definitely the dress,” she confirms, smiling softly. 
“You look so beautiful,” he says returning her smile and pulls her in for a kiss.  
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@staytiny2000 - @do-you-remember-summer-127 - @alexxavicry
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bcacstuff · 22 hours ago
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Great article with Caitriona.
‘I’m Impossibly Excited About What Happens Next’ – Caitriona Balfe Looks Ahead to Life After Outlander
https://www.mindfood.com/article/caitriona-balfe-looks-ahead-to-life-after-outlander/
When you don’t know what the norm is – and in many ways actress Caitriona Balfe admits she doesn’t – it’s difficult to subscribe to it. Yet, perhaps that’s what makes the Irish actress Caitriona Balfe so endearing.
Caitriona Balfe is a wonder. She is impeccably beautiful, has style, talent and a warm, courteous persona, as well as the ability to excel at whatever she pursues. She is someone who retains charm and humility despite operating for over two decades across industries that have beaten those qualities out of more than a few who’ve gone before her.
In terms of the Caitriona Balfe that we see this summer, this is the woman who has won a legion of devoted fans during her dedication – now almost a decade – to hit time-travelling show Outlander. However, as the drama faces its final curtain, the Irish beauty – who has already reinvented herself once, having excelled on the catwalk in a previous incarnation – can’t wait to see what lies ahead.  “I look back and my modelling days seem a lifetime ago,” she begins, “and really, despite the success I had, it was a period in which I was never really settled or content. The fashion industry is so unstable, so volatile, so fickle. I was never in a place where I thought I had it totally worked out; yet the grounding it gave me was invaluable, if nothing else, by virtue of the fact it was so tough!”
Her time on the runway began with Chanel, before Balfe was photographed for the likes of Givenchy, D&G, Moschino, Alberta Ferretti and Louis Vuitton. Regarded as one of the most in-demand models in her prime, across a three-year period from 2001 to 2004 she walked in more than 250 shows. “Fashion, for me, was always about storytelling, with a real emphasis on expression and imagination. It offered me a way to express myself not just in clothes, but through mood, personality and even environment. It all meant moving into acting was, I guess, a natural progression.”
Yet the freedom to use fashion as a medium for so much else rarely falls on the models themselves. “You’re constantly told ‘no’, or ‘you’re not right for this’, or ‘you don’t fit into that particular mould’,” she offers. “It really teaches you resilience, to not take things personally and to keep pushing forward.”
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Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/Shutterstock
New Direction
Having endured such creative short-changing, Balfe may have been forgiven for wanting to sink back into the shadows and pursue a new career that held rather more autonomy… which makes the fact she made a beeline for TV and film producers a little baffling. “Acting challenges me on a different level, emotionally and intellectually,” the star admits. “It’s where I find true fulfilment, being able to move into another person’s head and tell their story. For me, modelling was always a stepping stone, not the final destination.”
Scouted at the age of 18 while studying acting at the Dublin Institute of Technology, the tenacious teen joined Ford Models and was offered the opportunity to move to Paris, one she happily accepted as travel hadn’t been a luxury her parents could afford while raising their large Irish Catholic family.
Though she never made it to the ranks of supermodel status – “I would never have wanted that label anyway” – her worth comfortably kept her in the upper echelons of the modelling fraternity. It was only towards the end when she was largely hired for commercial catalogue shoots, that tedium began to set in and a new adventure beckoned. “I think you know when you’re done… in any industry or part of your life. And I think as soon as you realise you’ve activated that emotion, it nags and nags at you to do something about it. In the end, to be finished is a relief.”
One thing the 45-year-old retains from those days, however, is an exuding, radiating, luminous beauty. And she, unequivocally, appreciates fashion – indeed loves it now for the fact it’s a passion, not a profession, albeit is relieved to leave the towering stilettos behind. “Listen, I still love a beautiful outfit! I mean, who doesn’t love to dress up and feel amazing in something well-made and stylish? But honestly, as I’ve gotten older, comfort has become much more important.
“When you’ve spent hours on the runway or at photoshoots in heels, corsets or tight-fitting clothes, you really come to appreciate a great pair of trainers… or soft, oversized sweaters. These days, I’m much more about blending style with practicality. It’s all about balance. Comfort, for me, doesn’t mean sacrificing style; it just means I’m not willing to suffer for fashion like I might have in the past!”
Towards the end of the noughties Balfe found herself in New York. Aged 29 she was already feeling the scrutiny that comes with being a model approaching their third decade, and so she made the move to Los Angeles with a plan to return to drama training. By Hollywood standards she was a late starter, but her catwalk grace, confidence and strong work ethic meant she was soon landing roles, albeit minor ones – fans of the actress can catch a glimpse of her in both J.J. Abrams’s Super 8 and the sartorial masterpiece that is The Devil Wears Prada.
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Credit: Photo by Action Press/Shutterstock
Good fortune
She may have suspected she would spend the next few years steadily progressing through auditions and the uncertainty of work, in much the same way as she had in her later years in fashion, however just as the fear started to set in, Balfe struck gold. Of course, with all the gracious humility she carries with her, she didn’t even know it at the time.
The nugget was a television series based around Claire Fraser, a former World War II nurse in Scotland who is cast back into the mid-18th century and ends up joining a raggedy band of rebel Highlanders – an unusual concept to say the least. Furthermore, Balfe’s was one of hundreds of audition tapes that landed on the casting agent’s desk. However, land the role she did, and now as filming commences for the eighth and final series of Outlander, it’s hard to imagine anyone else in the lead role – a woman who is fierce but authentic, a kind healer who is devoted to the rough and ready clansman, Jamie (played by Scottish heartthrob, Sam Heughan).
Claire and Jamie’s romance has overcome many obstacles across several time zones, and Balfe is grateful to have occupied such an intimate role with someone she considers a close friend. “When Sam and I first started this journey, we had no idea it would go on this long. Now, we’ve been through so much together – professionally and personally. It’s been a real joy, but we’ve also learned to step back a bit off-camera. We used to spend more time together, but now we know when to take a breather. You have to, or else you’ll go mad!”
With a long season seven concluding in January, the Outlander epic will close out within the next 18 months, taking the episode total to 101. “Right now, I don’t know how the story ends. I’ve resisted finding out. Sam knows and likes to hold it over me, but I think it’s more fun not knowing. It keeps me in the moment as Claire.”
Perhaps what makes the Outlander journey easier to leave behind is the fact Balfe has been driven and exemplary on several side projects. The first, and arguably most important, has been in becoming a mother in August of 2021. Given the devotion of the Outlander fanbase and the general hysteria that surrounds celebrity, Balfe and her husband, music producer Tony McGill, have decided to not reveal their son’s name. In fact, the entire pregnancy was shrouded in secrecy, despite the actress filming the sixth season of the drama while pregnant.
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Irish Roots
Her other most notable work outside of the hit show was arguably in Kenneth Branagh’s Academy Award-winning film Belfast, for which Balfe was nominated for Best Supporting Actress. Touching, honest and genuinely moving, Belfast brings to life those who were so intimately affected by Northern Ireland’s infamous ‘troubles’. Semi-biographical and set in 1969, the film focuses on Buddy, a charming and lively nine-year-old, played by Jude Hill. Balfe plays Buddy’s Ma, a homely Protestant woman who is bound to the city she lives in. As tensions begin to rise, this once peaceful Belfast street becomes dangerous and deeply polarised. Ma is ferocious and formidable in her love for her family. “Growing up in Dublin, I felt such a pure connection to the issues people faced for so many decades in Ireland. The conflict rages on, but these days it is verbal, and that’s much more preferable to the violence and the terror that permeated so much of when we were young.”
When casting the film, Branagh was keen to enlist actors who had a personal connection to the content. Belfast native Jamie Dornan plays Pa; the mother of Dame Judi Dench (who plays Granny) was from Dublin.
However it is Balfe who has the most visceral childhood memories. In the years following Balfe’s birth in 1979, her family moved to Tedavnet, a rural village in Ireland near the Northern Irish border. Her father had an enviable job as a police sergeant while her mother tended their brood of five biological and two adopted children. Checkpoints, bomb scares and gun-wielding soldiers, therefore, were simply normal parts of her childhood landscape.
Despite the turbulence of childhood, the star has nothing but fondness for her home country. “Ireland will always be home for me, no matter where I am or how far I’ve travelled. There’s something deeply grounding about coming back – it centres me in a way nowhere else can. I think it’s a combination of the people, the land, the familiarity. I love the energy and sense of community you find in Ireland; it’s unique,” she says.
“When I get the chance to visit, I relish the simple pleasures – whether it’s sharing a cup of good coffee with family, a quiet morning surrounded by the countryside, or just walking around the place where I grew up. It’s these little moments that remind me of my roots and they always bring me back to a place of calm and balance amidst the craziness of life and work.”
Despite not snagging a statuette for her performance, Belfast made evident the talent and promise Balfe possesses. And moving forward, the pursuit of new projects and bigger experiences has even led the actress to sit in the director’s chair, having taken on the role of Executive Producer for an episode in season seven of Outlander. “It was terrifying,” she laughs, “I won’t lie! However, it’s always been something I’ve wanted to try. On a show like that, we are a family. There’s such a sense of trust and that made it easier for me to step into the role. Sam and I joke that we’ve been through it all at this point, so nothing really surprises us, and we permit ourselves to make mistakes, and to learn as we progress.”
It’s that sense of grounded excitement that makes Balfe a gift of grace amongst so many who bulldoze their way into the picture. “I’m at the point where stepping back seems the wrong thing to do. A bit like leaving the fashion world, I think I’ll know when the time is right; but in my head, I am impossibly excited about what happens next.”
Caitriona Balfe’s Career Highlights
Outlander
The historical drama television series is based on the Outlander novel series by Diana Gabaldon. Balfe plays a nurse A nurse in World War II who mysteriously goes back in time to Scotland in 1743. There, she meets a Highland warrior and gets drawn into an epic rebellion.
Belfast
The Oscar-winning film by director and writer Kenneth Branagh is about a young boy and his working-class Belfast family’s experience in the tumultuous late 1960s.
Money Monster
Balfe starred in the American crime thriller, Money Monster, about a financial TV host Lee Gates [played by George Clonney] and his producer Patty [played by Julia Roberts] who are put in an extreme situation when an irate investor takes them and their crew as hostage.
Modelling
After being scouted by Ford Models age 18, Balfe modelled for 10 years, including three years on the catwalks in Paris.
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honeyby · 2 years ago
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The way that we’ve just come full circle since Mountain Glenn…Weiss, Blake, and Yang being the ones who are sure of who they are and what it means to be a Huntress while Ruby’s the one struggling to find herself. And it’s in part because they’ve been challenged on what it means before.
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dutybcrne · 2 months ago
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Thinking abt Kae’s Fatui verse,,,,
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Him having a sort of fatal attraction vibe goin with Traveler like Came||ya’s whole thing almost hdbfb#//The whole ‘you’re interesting; I really like you; I can’t WAIT to see what makes you tick’#//Except he might actually be more of a danger to them; considering his endgame for those he ‘loves’#v; l’innamorato (fatui!kaeya)#//The love idea of him v attached to Signora; deffo got along with the kiddos of the HotH better fjhdh#//Prolly loved presenting her W|ll Sm|th style; even if the attention it drew to him too did make his skin crawl more often than not#//Love the idea of him stalking Traveler thru their journeyw lil heart eyes; interfering at key moments to hinder or help them progress#//Depends on how he’s feeling at the moment jcbcb#//In this verse would deffo butt heads with Taru in Fontaine specifically—he wants Traveler’s attention too jfbfb#//Prolly met them in Mond as part of Signora’s lil entourage—IMMEDIATELY got intrigued at first glance#//Background wise; I like to think he was a Fatuus meant to infiltrate the knights like many of Eroch’s ppl#//And in the progress of going through the knight thing got acquainted w Luc & began to have doubts abt the Fatui cause#//After visiting his home; hearing abt and meeting his father; then the day of the Heckening happens & they fight#//Bc Kae already planned to come clean & renounce the Fatui & Khaenri��ah; but the mess Crepus’s death made of him#//Tried far too hastily; far too bluntly to tell Luc the truth of his origins; swearing he knew nothing abt the Delusion#//Only to get claymore’d; which absolutely helped cemented him into the Fatui’s ranks more#//A part of him knows it wasn’t the time to say it; that he is at fault for trying to take advantage of Luc’s vulnerable state to tell him#//Only for the lad to have been far too volatile & so it turned out badly; but he still blames Luc for the break of their bond#//Anywho; I like to think as of Inazuma; he does have a certain grudge against traveler bc of Signora#//Before; encounters were more of puppy love bordering on dangerous obsession—after that; the dangerous bit became Personal#//Ohhh I’m writing a yandere here; okay<-should have realized that from the FIRST slew of Fatuiverse hcs lmao#//He genuinely does love Traveler; would like to see them breaking down in despair in his arms#//The two of them together would make a most beautiful ice sculpture indeed#//Even with his grudge; Traveler does stand a chance at swaying him to actually be helpful#//Sumeru quest wise; Co||ei is the magic word—i like to think he came along with there bc he wanted to see abt the Eleazar#//And maybe find clues to her family or even her herself; Traveler or Paimon dropping the name would make him cooperate SO fast#//Klee in Mond is basically his Teucer jffb. She is as good as fam in his eyes—I like to think he keeps up his habit of collecting pyro ppl#//Bc he never got over his broken bond with SOMEONE. Even if this verse has him more bitter abt it#//But ye jdbdbd. Is it rlly a Allie posting if it not short lol blurb and then heckin TAG SPAM lololol
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ladyhawke · 5 months ago
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lol you're just team green
yes i am
this green team
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devil-in-hiding · 3 months ago
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Okay but Virgin!Reader who is absolutely terrified of intimacy. It’s not a lack of knowledge on the subject; she’s knows more about it than a retired pornstar. But she just can’t handle the thought of giving herself away, especially to someone she doesn’t know or feels like she can’t trust! Back where she comes from, trust is a privilege and respect is a must. But what happens when she meets brutal, gruff, and one hundred and ten percent dangerous Simon Riley, who’s way more experienced and has a history of fucking just to let off some steam.
Ughhhhh 😵‍💫
Simon is your neighbor. Your first interaction is when he almost knocks you over in the hall, only offering a grunt and cold glare before slamming his apartment door shut.
It remains that way for a year or so, the rare times you do see him home. Nothing is ever said, but he acknowledges you with a grunt, and you always return a small nod of greeting. He’s cold and gruff, but every time he gets home from wherever he goes, you have to hole up in the living room to escape the moans and his headboard banging into your wall. the following mornings you can hardly look him in the eye as he stares at you rushing towards the stairs.
It’s not until after a particularly bad date, who is stubbornly trying to invite himself into your apartment, that Simon actually speaks.
“Jake please, I had a nice time but I have to get up early for work.” You protest, trying to block your doorway and the guy scoffs. “C’mon, you gonna leave me hangin like that?” He frowns, trying to shoulder past you.
“I would like you to leave now.”
“Listen here you little bitch, I’ve had to put up with staring at that rack all night, the least you can do is-“
“Think the lady told you to get the fuck out mate.” A deep voice growls, and the two of you jump, and your eyes widen at seeing Simon there, and there’s a dark look in his eyes as he stares down your ‘date’
“Hey man, this is none of you-“
“Considering this nice woman is my neighbor, I’m making it my fucking business.” He states before quite literally lifting Jake by the scruff of his neck and throwing him out into the hallway. “I see you bothering her again and I’ll kick your sorry ass up and down this god damn complex you got that?”
Jake is gone before Simon is done talking. You hear him take a deep breath, shoulders relaxing before he turns to face you, and you’re surprised by the concern showing in his eyes.
“That fuckhead didn’t hurt you, did he?” He asks, and you’re shocked this man’s voice can be so soft. You’re frozen, just staring at him before you find your voice.
“N-no, no I’m okay, he was just trying to shoulder past me.” You stutter out, nervously playing with your fingers. Your heart stops when one of his large hands reaches up, gently brushing your hair away from your face.
“Sorry it took me so long, couldn’t tell if it was you I was hearing.” He admits, and your heart flutters. He knows your voice?
He talks to you more after that, helping you with groceries when your hands are full, stopping by to ask if you’d watch his apartment while he’s away on deployment. You start to look forward to the two knocks on your door, finding Simon waiting for you, crinkles around his eyes letting you know he’s smiling at you.
But the women still come, along with your nights camped out in the living room, you’re heart just a bit heavier every time.
(might turn this into something)
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soaps-mohawk · 3 months ago
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Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 35: Threads
Summary: Pack bonds are made up of delicate threads, small fibers webbing together the dynamics and relationships that make up each individual pack. The omega stands in the middle, holding the pieces together, keeping the pack from crumbling by clinging to those threads like a strongman holds pillars up with chains.
Pairings: Poly 141 x reader
Word Count: 11,740 words
Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, angst, descriptions of physical pain, brief description of drowning, medical stuff, panic, crying, panic attacks, nightmares, PTSD, very heavy emotions, alcohol and brief mention of alcoholism, language, fighting (not physically), Kyle being the best boy, aftermath of trauma, brief mentions of the events of the previous chapter, guilt and shame, angst, and finally some comfort after the hurt (but not quite what you'd expect)
A/N: So I may have been slightly wrong, the angst isn't over, but it's not quite as intense as it has been. There are little tidbits of comfort in this one, though it's not like "okay it's over, let me wrap you in this blanket and everything is fine and happy now". It's...you'll see. If you're waiting for the fine and happy comfort then...you might want to wait a few chapters still. The comfort will come on slowly, but it has officially started.
MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->
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Screaming. 
Someone is screaming. 
It hurts your ears, high-pitched and ringing. Your hands cover them, but even that can’t block out the sound. 
It’s ringing in your own head. 
Your body hurts, every joint and muscle aching and throbbing. They’ve been locked in place too long, frozen in one position, a safe position. Safety. That’s what you’re seeking, that’s what you’re trying to find. That’s why you’re here. 
This isn’t a safe space anymore. 
The walls are crumbling, the darkness is fading. There’s light seeping in, threatening to pull you out, make you face whatever is waiting on the other side. It’s not a comforting light, it’s bright and piercing and threatening. You don’t want to leave the darkness. You don’t want to face the light. You want to stay there, stay frozen, stay safe. 
Your throat burns, raw and painful with every breath. 
It’s you. 
You’re screaming. 
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Hands are flying, mouth open in a scream. It’s a horrible sound, grating and feral sounding. Your body twists and turns as they try to hold you down. No restraints. You’ll just hurt yourself more. 
Blood is flying, splattering on the gurney, the floor, the walls. Yours or someone else’s? It’s hard to tell. 
Simon. 
“Simon!” 
He snaps out of his daze, his eyes darting up to look at Dr. Keller across the gurney. Her hand is around his wrist, your elbow knocking against his forearm as you try to fight whatever it is you think you’re seeing. Maybe you’re seeing nothing at all. 
“I know.” Dr. Keller’s voice is soft despite the chaos of the moment. Her gaze is firm but comforting. She knows. “I need you to hold her still. She’s going to hurt herself further if she can’t calm down.” 
She’s going to hurt someone else too. 
The monitors are beeping and screaming. They managed to get a blood pressure cuff around your arm before you snapped out of the daze he’d put you in and started fighting. You’re like a wild animal, cornered and fighting for your life again with a renewed vigor. Renewed for now. If you don’t calm down again, something will give out. 
There won’t be any coming back from that. 
“Don’t be afraid if you hurt her.” Dr. Keller says, squeezing his wrist. “Bones can be fixed.” 
He catches your wrists in his hand, pinning them down against your chest. He uses his weight to his advantage, pushing his arm into you as he leans down so you’re face to face. You let out another scream, fighting against him but he has you beat. He’s bigger, stronger, calmer. 
“Look at me.” He says, his alpha rumbling low in his chest. It has even the beta nurses stopping in their tracks to look at him. The only one unaffected is Dr. Keller as she uses this moment to her advantage. 
You stop fighting him, breathing in heavy gasps as you stare right up into his eyes. Wild and untamed, pupils dilated in your aggressive state. Dilated out of aggression or dilated out of fear? Perhaps both. Beads of sweat slide down your face, your body hot under his. It mixes with the blood on your skin, blood from your own injuries and from the Shadows you killed. Your cheek is bruised, discolored from broken blood vessels. Your left eye will swell shut soon. He needs to get you calm before then. 
It’s almost cute, the way you bare your teeth up at him. He might have thought it cute in a different setting, if your life wasn’t dangling over a ledge right now. A low growl rumbles in your chest, a warning that has his own hackles raising. He bares his teeth back, an answering growl, deeper and angrier, rumbles in his own chest. The nurses take a step back. Even Dr. Keller pauses at the sound. 
Yet, despite the threat in his growl, it doesn’t deter you one bit. Your knee drives into his side, making him grunt from the impact, but he doesn’t let up. You’re fighting him again, trying to wiggle your way out of his hold. If he pushes any harder, he might break a rib. You’re going to break something if you don’t stop. 
You’re too far gone to recognize anything but fear and danger. You’re only going to fight, only going to attack anything you perceive as a threat. You won’t even recognise him. He has to get you to calm down before you have a heart attack. He considers getting one of the nurses to bring Johnny in, but there’s no guarantee that will work. You’ll just perceive him as another threat, another danger. More people in the room will only make you more aggressive...make your omega more aggressive. 
He’s not dealing with you. He’s dealing with your omega in her raw form, the animal deep underneath forced out of her hiding place. Whoever said omegas are weak never had to face one in this state. 
He stares down at you as you fight and scream, battering his side with your knees but he can hardly feel the pain. His arm is still throbbing where you bit him, but he can hardly see the blood streaked on his skin. 
He has to save you. 
He can’t let all of this go to waste. 
They’ll never recover if they lose you now. 
He moves almost seamlessly, time seeming to slow as he lets you go. He unclips his vest and rips it over his head in one movement, uncaring as it hits the floor with a heavy thud. You lunge up at him but he’s ready, catching you before your lower body can leave the gurney. It’s a risk. A huge risk, but it’s all he can think of doing. It’s hardly the worst place to be if things go wrong, if this fails. If he does fail, at least he’ll know he tried. 
He pushes his mask up to his chin, pressing your face right into his neck. 
Your nose pushes against his scent gland as he cups the back of your head, holding you there. He projects his scent as strong as he can, hoping it can reach some deep part of your mind, some glimmer of you that’s left in there. 
If this goes wrong, you’ll rip out skin and veins with your teeth. He’ll bleed out on the floor before they can even get him on a gurney. 
He wraps his other arm around you, holding you as still as he can. Tears prick his eyes as he holds you, shoving away the beeping machines, the panic still thrumming inside of him. Scruffing you was only round one of this fight. He should have held it longer, should have been brave enough to do it a second time. 
He can still feel it, your neck in his hand, the way you gave in so easily. You had no choice, he gave you none. It was necessary, it was vital that he did it. You wouldn’t have made it this far if he hadn’t. 
He should do it again. It would be easy, just slip his hand down and squeeze and you’ll be gone, lost in your head again and under his control. Maybe then he’d get you to calm down, get you out of this state and free from the danger looming closer and closer. 
Heart attack, stroke, organ failure. 
Why couldn’t Price be the one to go after you? Why couldn’t it be Price standing here making this decision. 
“I’m sorry.” He whispers before slipping his hand down, wrapping it around the back of your neck again. 
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Pain. 
You’re in pain. 
You try to fade away again, try to push yourself back into the darkness to avoid the pain, but you can’t. 
There’s no escaping it. 
Your body hurts, every joint and muscle throbbing. Fire licks at your very cells, burning hot through your veins, scorching your skin. Safety. You want safety again. You want to retreat back into yourself, back into the comfort only the darkness can offer you. 
Nowhere is safe anymore. 
Tears are rolling down your cheeks, the light pressing closer and closer. It’s somewhere above you, shining down in offending shades of white. You can see it behind your eyelids no matter how hard you try to squeeze them together. There’s no escaping this light. There’s no retreating back into safety. There’s no safety anymore. 
You’re underwater, slowly rising to the surface. There’s sounds around you, muffled and dampened by the water. You need to breathe, you need to inhale precious oxygen but you can’t get to the surface fast enough. Lungs burning, your fingers claw at the water but you can’t reach it, you can’t swim fast enough. 
Your hands curl into soft fabric as you cough, choking on imaginary water. There’s warmth surrounding you, pressed in on all sides. You’re leaning against something, something hard and solid and warm. The sounds are louder now, mixing into a convoluted cocktail of constant noise. You hate it. 
Pain ripples through your throat as you let out a groan, the sound catching and cracking on the rough edges of your vocal chords. Another choked sound leaves your lips, pain rippling through your very nerves. The skin on your face is burning, simmering ashes being fanned by every tear sliding down your cheeks. 
You’re crying. 
There’s a deep sound coming from under you. It’s vibrating against your body, your pulsing ears focusing on that sound. It’s familiar. You’ve heard it before, somewhere back in the recesses of your mind. 
Your mind. 
It’s there. You can feel it beginning to take shape, thoughts beginning to form out of the fractured darkness. You’re not in your mind anymore, your mind is in you. You’re a being inside of a body, a body wracked with pain. The urge to retreat back is strong, but you can’t. That part of you has been closed off, sealed away by the light. 
Fingers and toes twitch, tingling and throbbing with the cold despite the fire blazing its way through your veins. It is cold, your hand pulling at the softness you’re clinging to. The low vibration begins again, rumbling through you, igniting something in the back of your mind. 
You know it. It’s familiar. 
Something tingles in the back of your mind, starting to come to life. Despite the agony there’s something in there, something warm and comforting. There’s no name for it, no thought flashing through the swirling mass of neurons slowly taking shape. It’s soft and warm and whispering to you. 
Wake up. 
Wake up. 
Wake up! 
Your eyes open before you can stop them. You’re immediately blinded, eyes throbbing from the bright white light above you, a high pitched whine leaving your lips. It rattles through your throat, broken and squeaking through your shredded trachea. You clench your eyes shut again, wincing away from the intrusive light, the movement sending a bolt of pain through your body like an electric shock. You let out another garbled sound, your fist tugging on the fabric it’s clenching. 
“I know, I’m sorry sweetie.” A voice says, the light disappearing before another takes its place, softer and lighter and less painful. 
Your eyes crack open again, still throbbing despite the light being removed. Your entire body is throbbing, pulsing like an exposed nerve. You feel like an exposed nerve, weak and vulnerable. It triggers something deep in your brain, the light starting to dim. Something is rising, something is coming. You want to lay back, let it take over, let it take control. You want to sink into the darkness again. The darkness is safe, the darkness is secure. 
The beeping is getting louder. Beeping, that’s what that sound is. There’s something beeping. It’s getting faster and faster. You’re starting to go numb, the tingling in your fingers and toes fading away. It’s not so cold anymore, the ache in your limbs fading into oblivion. You’re fading into oblivion. 
“Oi! None of that.” 
You’re awake. You let out a disgruntled sound as the warmth and comfort leaves you, deserting you in favor of retreating into the recesses of your mind again. A shiver runs down your spine, your very skin tingling with pinpricks of pain as it goes. 
“Open your eyes again for me, love.” 
Your body moves before you can tell it not to, your eyes fluttering open again. You’re squinting despite the bright light being gone. Any light is too much, your mind seeking out the comforting darkness once more. 
Darkness makes you vulnerable. 
In the dark, you’re blind to things that may be hiding there. 
No. 
No more darkness. 
You want the light. 
Scents flood your brain as your eyes fully open, slamming into you like a wave. It’s too much, nearly choking you again as you try to register everything. The burning scent of sterilizer, the soft scent of clean linens, the harsh scent of chemicals. There’s a soft scent mixing in with the others, something easing the turmoil in your mind just slightly. Above all else, though, is the intense smell of leather and something soft and fresh. It overpowers almost all of them, standing out distinctly. It makes your nose throb, something tickling in the back of your mind. You’re afraid of the scent, yet...there’s something else. Something...familiar. 
“Back with us yet?” The sound rumbles under you again. 
“Nearly there.” Another voice says. “Heart rate is coming down again. Still feverish, though.” 
You’re suddenly aware of your body again, the pains, the aches, the burning, the cold. You’re trembling, your skin prickling from how cold it is. You try to press forward against the warmth in front of you, but the movement has pain slashing through your very cells. Another pathetic whine tears through your throat, every movement sending stabbing pain through your very being. 
“C...C-Cold.” You manage to croak out, the word forming clumsily on your tongue. It feels heavy, like you’re relearning how to speak. 
“I know.” The softer voice says, something dragging across your skin. “We’re trying our best.” 
Something moves against your back, dragging against your skin. Whatever it is, it’s warm, but it’s rough. You push into it, something telling you to get closer, to wrap yourself in it and let it suffocate you. Somehow it’s comforting to you, somehow it’s familiar. 
Slowly thoughts and sensations begin to return to you, your mind dragging itself from the depths it had sunk into. 
It was purposeful. 
You did it to save yourself. 
You’re shaking for a different reason now, suddenly aware of the parts of your body that ache the most. Your shoulder, your cheek, your throat, your wrists. There’s a deep chill that has settled in your bones, sinking past the fever and the pain, past the memories beginning to resurface, past the hopelessness and the anger and the fear. 
“Simon?” You croak out, the name burning its way through your dry throat. You desperately want something to drink, anything to ease the burning desert in your mouth. 
“It’s me, love.” The sound rumbles under you again. 
Leather. Eucalyptus. Warmth. Alpha. 
You groan, trying to shift closer but the tensing of your muscles has pain screaming through your body. A shuddering breath leaves your lips, your body tensing until it passes. 
“Try not to move too much.” The other voice says, a hand coming to rest on your arm. You’re still clutching Simon’s sweatshirt in your hand like it’s the only thing keeping you tethered to this earthly plane. 
It might be. 
“Dr. Keller?” You croak out, recognizing that voice. 
“I’m here too sweetie.” She says somewhere behind you. “Take it easy, you’ve had a rough go of it.” 
She’s not wrong. 
The memories are coming back slowly, each one playing through your head like an episode of some fucked up television show. Except, it isn’t a television show. It’s your life. 
You hate it. 
“John?” You ask, trying to get your tongue to work, but you desperately need water. 
“Probably yelling at every person who crosses his path.” Simon says. “He was blazing a path to hell and back earlier trying to get ahold of anyone he could yell at involved in this.” He rubs your back. “He’ll be here as soon as he’s calmed down. Kyle and Johnny are working overtime trying to help restrain him.” 
You'll always be a second thought. 
“You?” You ask, unable to form the whole question you want to ask. Why are you here and not with your pack? 
He's quiet for a moment. “We got here before John and Kyle did.” His hand stills against your back, palm pressing below your shoulder blades. “You wouldn't let anyone close to you. The doc said it's normal, coming out of that state. I had to help keep you calm so you could get patched up. Then you wouldn't let me leave.” 
Your fingers ache from how hard they're gripping his sweatshirt. He stayed. He's the one here with you, not your alpha. 
You let out a groan, the pain starting to intensify. There’s a throbbing in your calf, and a deep ache starting to pulse in your joints. You’re almost glad for it, the turmoil in your mind starting to twist and fog your thoughts pushed aside in favor of the pain screaming at the forefront of your brain. 
“Time for more pain medicine.” Dr. Keller says somewhere behind you. “You’ll probably get sleepy, but rest is what you need right now.” 
You let out another groan, pressing your face back against Simon’s chest. Despite the pain in your body, there’s an even deeper ache in your chest. It’s not a physical one. Your alpha isn’t here. He’s left you again, abandoned you in favor of something else, something he deems more important. 
Tears are brimming in your eyes as they slip closed, the exhaustion and the drowsiness from the pain medicine taking over. 
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It’s not quite so cold when you wake up next. It’s brighter in the room, the light not quite so artificial as it had been the first time. There’s no body against yours, no warmth seeping into your skin or scent in your nose. Your fingers twitch, almost like they want to seek it out again. 
You’re alone. 
You let out a quiet breath, your brows furrowing. Your shoulder aches, throbbing in time with the beep of the heart monitor. It hurts less to move as you shift your arm to itch the other. It’s horribly itchy, but your fingers meet gauze instead. 
Right. Phil had cut you there. Not very deep, but still deep enough to hurt. Just another injury to add to the list. 
You try to lift your arm but burning pain shoots through your shoulder. You wince, letting out a quiet moan of pain as you drop it back into the bed. You breathe as the pain shoots through you, swirling through your veins before it begins to settle. 
“You shouldn’t try to move too much.” A voice cuts through the silence. 
Your head whips to the side, your arm shooting out to grip the side rail as pain burns through your body like lava. It seeps slowly from your left shoulder down to your toes and into your very hair follicles. You let out another groan of pain, your eyes squeezing closed as you wait for it to pass. 
“Sorry.” The voice says softly. “I suppose that didn’t help any.” 
You open your eyes, still breathing heavily as the pain begins to fade. Your hand is still wrapped around the side rail as you stare at John. He’s seated next to the bed, his elbows on his knees as he stares at you. He looks tired, eyes puffy with dark circles around them. He’s in a simple green shirt and cargo pants, yet he’s not quite as put together as he normally is. His hair is sticking up in different directions, his beard scruffier than normal. There’s a faint pink line of what was probably once a cut on his cheek. 
It’s the first time you’ve seen him in weeks. 
You should be happy. 
You should be ecstatic. 
You should be relieved. 
Yet, all you can feel is pain and anger and betrayal. 
“There’s nothing I can say that will make this better.” He says, his voice rougher than usual, even after returning from a deployment. His eyes shine with emotion. You hate it. “There’s nothing I can say that will undo what happened.” He runs a hand over his mouth, letting out a breath through his nose. “This shouldn’t have happened in the first place. We should have known better, we should have questioned it.” He shakes his head. “We put too much trust in those above us, and we were all fooled.” 
Tears blur your eyes as you stare at him. He’s not just talking about Shepherd and the initiative. He’s talking about you too. 
“I regret it more than any decision I’ve ever made. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life,” He continues. “You put your trust in me, and I failed you. I let this happen to you because I got too caught up thinking about the greater good of the pack and I ignored what was right in front of me. You’re here because of me, because of the decisions I made. I had one job, and now you’re paying for my failure.” 
He pauses for a moment, tears shining in his own eyes. You should feel surprise, sympathy, something. All you can feel is hatred. He doesn’t deserve to cry over you. He doesn’t deserve this chance to try and explain himself to you, to try and give excuses for his actions. He made his choice. He made it very clear where his loyalties lie, where they’ve always been, where that line was laid before he even claimed you. It was never about you. Nothing was ever about you. It was always the initiative, and then when the initiative turned out to be false, it was about the ‘greater good’. You should have been the greater good. You should have been their focus. Instead they all betrayed you. 
They betrayed you in the end. 
“I made a bad call.” He continues on. “I shouldn’t have left you there. I shouldn’t have made that decision. It never would have played out how I thought it would in my head at that moment. Now you’re here, like this, because I made a stupid mistake.” 
He stares at you for a long moment, as if he’s waiting for you to say something, as if you  should have something to say in response. He’s waiting for an acceptance to his half-assed apology, as if his words can somehow undo the pain, the burning in your wrists, the throbbing in your shoulder, the agony every time you simply move a limb. As if his half-assed apology can somehow undo the weeks of depression and anguish and the worry and the fear. As if his half-assed apology can make up for the way they all cut you off, treating you like a traitor before abandoning you. As if his half-assed apology can undo the hours and hours of torment and pain the man you once thought of as a family friend unleashed on you all because of them. 
The hatred burns almost as hot as the lava in your veins, so hot you’re surprised the tear that slides down your cheek doesn’t start steaming. Your heart rate is picking up again, the monitor beeping with the sound of the anger simmering inside of you. The blood pressure cuff squeezes around your arm, a grunt of pain cracking in your throat. 
“Yeah,” You say, your voice hardly more than a whisper. You turn your head away from him, wincing as an electric shock of pain jolts through you from the motion. You drop your hand from the side rail before he can touch you, tucking your arm back under the rough blanket. “You did.” 
You have nothing more to say to him. 
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John enters the room solemnly, the silence nearly palpable as they all wait in anticipation. They’re all looking at him, waiting patiently for their captain, their alpha, to speak. They always look to him, they always rely on him, they always trust him and now look where he’s led them. So rarely does he make the wrong decision, so rarely does he lead them astray. 
What happened this time? 
Why did he so easily turn them away from you? Why did he so easily turn his back on you? 
What words are there to say? He knew his words would do little to calm the raging storm inside of you, the hurt and the pain and the betrayal they put you through all because of him. 
The rejection still hurts, but it should. They all rejected you as soon as they left you behind. 
It’s only a fraction of the pain you must be feeling. 
“How is she?” Kyle asks, breaking the tense silence. 
“Upset.” He sighs, sinking down in a chair. 
“Fuckin’ sure she is.” Johnny snaps, anger radiating off of him in steaming waves. He’s been on edge, they all have, since the four of them were reunited. He had been there, stuck in the hall as you screamed and fought. He thought the worst when your screams cut off until he was finally updated by one of the nurses leaving the room. “Of course she doesnae want to see any of us! We just fucking left her, just like that, and it was your fuckin’ fault!” 
Simon grabs his beta before he can throw a fist at John, holding him back. Johnny lets out a string of curses none of them understand, fighting against his alpha. Simon holds him tightly, the image of your bloody form fighting against him still at the forefront of his mind. He grips Johnny tightly, muscles straining. Johnny is bigger. Johnny is stronger. 
He has half a mind to let him go. 
John doesn’t move, doesn’t even flinch as Johnny yells and rages. He’d welcome a good beating right now. He could use some physical pain to distract from the ache in his chest. 
“Calm down,” Kyle says, getting in Johnny’s face. “I said calm down!” Kyle yells, Johnny stilling for a moment. It’s not often Kyle raises his voice at one of them. “We’re not doing any good being upset with each other. We all made mistakes over these last few weeks, especially these past few days. None of us are guilt free in this. We all have our omega’s blood on our hands. Fighting amongst ourselves will only fray the bonds more than they already have been.” 
Johnny deflates with a sigh, standing there in Simon’s arms for a moment. Kyle is right. They all can feel it, the way their bonds are fraying. Their pack is resting on a dangerous ledge, tipping back and forth with every strong emotion, every argument, every sour feeling. They’re all holding onto that bond, trying to pull it back to keep it from falling into the abyss. As angry as they are with each other, just one of them letting go will be the end of the pack. 
“There’s nothing we can do to change what happened.” John says, looking up at the other three. “Kyle’s right. I led us all in the wrong direction, but we can’t go back and change it. We can’t undo what happened to us, we can’t undo what we did, we can’t undo what we...” He lets out a breath. “What I let happen to our omega.” 
“She won’t trust us again.” Simon says, his hands still shaking as he releases Johnny. They haven’t stopped shaking since he scruffed you a second time. 
“She won’t.” John affirms, no matter how badly it hurts him. “She won’t forgive us either. The best we can do is to give her what she needs, what she wants. Right now that’s space. Dr. Keller will keep us updated as things develop.” He pushes himself up to stand, looking at each member of his team, of his pack. They all share the same guilty look on their faces, they all hold the same anger at themselves deep inside. “This may be the hardest mission we’ve ever had. No matter what we feel...none of that matters anymore. What matters is keeping our pack together. What matters is that we keep those bonds from fraying. We lose ourselves, we lose everything.” 
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“Still sore?”
You nod, wincing as it sends a bolt of pain through your body. 
“I know.” Dr. Keller says, adjusting the ice pack on your shoulder. “Hurts like a bitch, but luckily it won’t cause any lasting damage.” 
You blink at Dr. Keller, staring at her for a beat. You don’t think you’ve ever heard her curse before. You’re not sure she was ever capable of it. 
“What? I use swear words. Sometimes.” She says, almost like she can read your thoughts. “Sometimes expletives fit the moment better than any flouncy, sophisticated words do. This feels like the proper situation to use some.” She lets out a sigh. “Your shoulder will be the worst of the pain, at least physically. The mental pain...well, that’s not something I can treat with pain medicine. Shouldn’t, would be the proper wording there.” 
Some people do use it to numb the pain. 
“We all made a lot of bad decisions these last few days. Your support system, those you were supposed to be able to trust, failed you.” She stares down at you, emotion shining in her eyes. It’s a mirror of John’s own stare when he’d looked at you, but this time there’s no anger burning inside of you. Dr. Keller didn’t betray you. Dr. Keller will mean her apology, because you know that’s what’s coming. “I know you’ve probably heard this a lot over the last few hours, but I am sorry too. I shouldn’t have left you alone like that. I shouldn’t have fallen for that phone call...I should have been there.” 
You stare up at her, tears pooling in your eyes. If she had stayed, things would have been worse. It was almost better she left you. You can’t lose her. You need her now more than you ever did. 
Tears streak a flaming path down your face, a choked sob tearing its way through your trachea up through your lips. It burns your throat, no amount of water you’ve had in the last few hours has been able to ease the ache that’s taken up permanent residence there. 
Graves choked you. It’s the bruising from his hand squeezing your windpipe making you ache. Your voice may never recover, may never go back to normal. Crying hurts, hurts more than just your mind, your chest. It hurts your whole body, yet you can’t stop. 
“I know, I know.” She says, petting your hair as you sob. “I’m not going anywhere this time. We’ll get through this, okay? It’ll be a long road, but you won’t be walking it alone. You’ve got me, and you’ve got your pack.” 
Your gaze hardens at the mention of your pack, the sob in your throat coming out almost as an angry grunt. The thought of them makes your chest ache, the pain of their betrayal burning hot in you. “I don’t want them.” You whisper. 
“I don’t blame you.” Dr. Keller says, leaning against the side rail of your bed. “They let you down. The betrayed your trust in a lot of ways. They made you feel abandoned, and then abandoned you when you needed them most, even if they thought they were doing the right thing at the time. You have every right to be angry at them, upset with them. They hurt you in the worst way they could.” She pulls the blanket higher over you, tucking you in. “You’ve gone through a lot these last few days. Some very traumatic events, on top of being injured and your body going through extreme stress. You’re exhausted in every way you can be. Rest first. Worry about everything else later. Doctor’s orders.” 
“I did it to myself.” You say before she can walk away. 
She turns back to look at you. “What?” 
“I made myself distress.” You say. “I made my omega come out.” 
“That was very brave of you.” She says, giving you a soft smile. “Sometimes we have to take drastic measures even knowing the risks. You did what you had to in the moment and I think it was the right choice. You didn’t know what was going to happen, what was happening. Things worked out and you’re still here. That’s all that matters.” 
You think about her words for a moment. You did make it out. The fact you’re here means someone found you, someone saved you. Someone scruffed you. 
“It was Simon, wasn’t it?” You ask, even though you already know the answer to that. 
You wouldn’t let him leave. 
“You’ll have to ask him for the whole story, but yes. He’s the one that rescued you.” She adjusts the blanket around you again. “Get some rest.” She moves the call button closer. “I’m on the other end of that button if you need me.” 
You stare up at the ceiling after she leaves, counting the tiles above you. It looks like every other ceiling you’ve ever seen in a doctor's office or clinic or hospital. It’s not all that different from the ceiling in the med center on base. 
Base. 
You don’t ever want to see that place again. You don’t want to step foot in the barracks, you don’t even want to think about the clinical sterility of the buildings and the cold comfortless spaces meant for nothing more than to serve their purpose. Just like you. You served your purpose. You proved their point, even if it was never the true point of the initiative. Packs will get stronger with an omega, but it will come at the detriment of that omega. 
The job always comes first. 
There was a time you thought perhaps it wouldn’t. Maybe they could put it all behind them  and put themselves first, put you first. Then they proved they can’t. They won’t even put you first when you’re at the threat of being tortured. You were hurt because they wouldn’t put you first. You are hurt because they wouldn’t put you first. 
You don’t care about them. You don’t care about their excuses. You don’t care about the bonds or the claims or the emotions. 
You’d be happy if they left you here. Just a few days ago you were panicking about them leaving you, about them deciding you weren’t enough and abandoning you. 
Now you wish they would. 
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“Has she said anything?” 
“Not much.” He sighs. “She won’t see any of us. I can hardly blame her.” 
“You made a choice, John.” Kate says, hands wrapped around her cup of coffee. “Choices have consequences.” 
“You were right. Then again, you usually are.” He sips at his tea. Bitter without milk, but then again, he’d prefer a glass of whiskey right now over tea. “I don’t know how to fix this.” 
“I don’t think you can.” Kate takes a sip of her coffee. “She’s going to decide when she wants you to fix this, if she wants you to fix it.” 
John lets out a sigh. “We’re her pack, it’s our job-” 
“You’ve failed at your job.” Kate says, her gaze hardening as she stares at him. “You’re good at being a soldier, you’re good at being a leader, you’re good at saving the world, but that’s not your only job. You have a responsibility to take care of your omega, and you failed. You made your choice, and you turned your back on her. She’s not a soldier, John. She’s never been tortured, she’s never been left for dead, she’s never taken a life before and here she’s been through all of that in the span of two days. You made a choice, John. You made a choice knowing damn well what the consequences would be.” 
He sits in silence, staring at Kate. It’s not often she gets mad at him, the frustration evident on her face. It’s a mirror of the anger and disappointment on the faces of his packmates. They’re all feeling the weight of his decision, of his mistakes. They’re all feeling the weight of their rapidly fraying bonds. 
“You have a choice to make now, John.” She stares at him pointedly. “You pick up the pieces from this, you all take the time to recover and heal. Then what? Things aren’t as simple as we thought they were, John. None of us knew what was going to happen. We were all so focused on the potential benefits that we all overlooked just how much of a detriment this would be. Your omega hasn’t had a choice in anything in her entire life. Every decision has been made for her, whether or not she wanted it. She has had no say in any of this. She’s been nothing more than a variable in an experiment, a statistic, a number, a list of pros and cons. She’s been reduced down to nothing more than an object.” 
John winces at her words, the weight on his shoulders growing heavier and heavier. He’s treated you as nothing more than an object, even if not directly. Leaving you so easily, yelling at you when you made an innocent mistake, letting you be tortured because he couldn’t get his head out of his own arse. 
“We all know she’s more than that. Far more than that. But she will never have any say in anything, unless you let her. Outside of your pack, she has nothing. In your pack? She should have the loudest voice.” Kate leans her arms on the table, shifting closer to him. “Right now she has no voice because you’ve proven where your loyalties lie, and they’re not with her. You have one more decision to make, John. Do you keep standing where you are, put the job first and wear your omega down until she’s nothing but an empty shell? Or, do you take this chance while you have it and finally put her first?” 
Kate pushes herself up to stand, grabbing her cup of coffee. John’s not used to feeling small. He’s used to being in charge, being the captain, being in control. People look to him, they listen to him, he’s the one everyone turns to when things go to shit to lead them out. 
He’s not even capable of doing that anymore. 
“Your life as you knew it ended as soon as she was placed in your pack. It’s up to you to decide how it continues.” Kate leaves with those heavy parting words, the door clicking shut behind her. 
John stares down at his cup of tea, the cup half full, or perhaps half empty depending on how one looks at it. It feels more than half empty now, spilling slowly through some microscopic hole in the side. It’ll only be so long before that hole will widen, worn down by the weak paper the cup is made of, the liquid eating away at the cup until there’s nothing but a puddle of tea on the table, slowly rolling towards the edge to dip onto the floor. 
That microscopic hole started as soon as they left you alone for the first time, and none of them were aware enough to even notice it. 
That hole is a gaping wound now. The contents inside turned acidic as soon as he cut you off in his disappointment, as soon as he started digging into the belly of the initiative. That acid has been eating away slowly at the fragile bonds that were in place. Fragile. They really were. No matter how strong they all thought those bonds were growing to be, they were built with fear and anxiety and uncertainty. Uncertainty of the future and what it may hold, anxiety towards a new pack and an entirely new shift in lifestyle, and fear of one day losing a pack member. 
Bonds built upon such frailty can hold no weight should one piece fall. 
How strong can bonds really be when you live with that knowledge, that constant fear that someone could die at any time? Someone in the pack, someone you’ve bonded with, someone you’ve grown a relationship with, might leave and never return because of the risks of their job. How strong can those bonds be? Was that the point of the experiments all along, the 141 and the initiative? Testing the limits a pack could be pushed to, testing if bonds could be formed in such a high stress environment and if so, how strong they’d be? What limits would they have gone to, to test that theory? Would they have gone to the point of sacrificing one of them to test those theories, had the truth not come out when it did? One wrong decision, one wrong step in the field and everything can crumble. Would they have gone to that length to test just how a bonded pack would react, if they could still function after everything? 
The sacrifice was you. 
Kate is right. You’re not part of their world. You’re not a soldier, you haven’t been conditioned to live with that fear, you can’t be conditioned to live with that fear. You shouldn’t have to be conditioned to live with that fear. You had no choice in this. None of it. From the moment you presented, nothing in your life would be yours. From the moment you presented, you would never make a choice for yourself again. 
The sacrifice was you. 
And he played right into their hands. 
The cup is blurring as he stares at it, his eyes blinking rapidly. 
They say an omega is the balance that holds a pack together. It’s a delicate bond, a single thread coiled around the structure of the pack. Wear that thread down until it snaps and everything crumbles. How long have you been fraying? How long have you been silently screaming for help, desperately trying to hold the pieces of the pack together like a strongman holds two pillars up by chains? You never had chains, you’ve been holding everything together with sewing thread, fighting desperately to keep the pieces from crumbling at the risk of being torn in half. 
How long have you been silently screaming? 
It’s all his fault. He’s been wearing you down, he’s been fraying that bond fiber by fiber. He’s been standing there watching you fight to hold the pack together while screaming at him to help, screaming at him to take one of those threads and hold at least half of the weight for you. 
That’s what he’s supposed to do. 
The threads have snapped. You were torn in half by the weight and those threads are gone. They’re crumbling, the bonds coming undone, unraveling minute by minute, second by second. They’re losing each other because they lost you. 
He covers his face with his hands, not even bothering to try and silence his sobs. 
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Something has pulled you from the sweet arms of sleep. 
It’s dark in the room, the only light coming from the one behind the bed. The curtains are drawn over the window, keeping you hidden from the darkness outside the window. It’s late, or at least you think it is. You can’t quite see the clock in the darkness with your one good eye. It’s fuzzy in the darkness, too far away for you to truly find where the hands lie. 
Shadows fill the corners of the room, oppressive and claustrophobic. The longer you stare, the bigger they seem to grow as if they might suck the light right out of the room and swallow you in darkness. The longer you stare, the more it seems like there’s something there, something hidden in the darkness. 
Something is staring at you from the shadows. There’s eyes on you, your skin prickling from the uncomfortable feeling of being watched. The more you stare into the darkness, the more the shadows begin to take shape, forming monstrous beasts just being held at bay by the light. 
“Hi, darlin’.” 
No. No, no, no, no. 
“Miss me? It’s been a long time.” 
You shake your head, your heart monitor starting to beep rapidly as your heart pounds in your chest. “N-No.” 
Phil sits forward in the chair in the corner, his face coming into the light. It is him, blonde hair, blue eyes, that disarming grin on his face. He can’t be here...unless he escaped before your pack could catch him. Did they manage to catch him? You don’t know. You hadn’t even thought to ask about Phil or his whereabouts. No one informed you either. 
“No? You didn’t miss me?” He tilts his head, his eyes shining with faux hurt and disappointment. “That’s not very nice of you to say. I thought your father taught you your manners. Have you forgotten them in the time you’ve been away.” He tsks, shaking his head. “Those boys have been letting you get lazy.” 
Your breathing is picking up, panic starting to fill you as you stare at him. It’s impossible. He shouldn’t be here. He can’t be here. He couldn’t have just walked onto base and walked into the medical center, could he? Corporal McKinney fooled everyone for months and drove right off base with you in his car and no one said anything. How much would the guards at the front entrance of the base take as a bribe to let him in? 
Why isn’t your pack outside your door? Why would they let him in? 
They had to have put out a warning. Someone should have put Phil’s face everywhere, sent out a message, something. 
He lets out a sigh, pushing himself to stand. “I guess I’ll have to teach you some manners myself.” 
The glint of metal catches your eye, the icepick catching the light as he steps closer. 
“No, no,” You shake your head, your fingers scrambling for the call button.
Not again. Please, not again. 
Your fingers close around the call button, your thumb pushing it over and over and over again. Someone has to hear it. 
He lifts the ice pick, reaching out for you...
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You’re being shaken. A scream tears from your lips as you struggle, trying to get away from whoever is holding you. Your body is alight with pain but you wait for more, for the ice pick to drive into your scent gland again, open the wound and light your body on fire once more. You expect it to come down again and again, filling your body with holes so you bleed out on the floor. 
Where is your pack?
“Easy, easy. You’re alright.” 
You know that voice. 
You’re sobbing, your brain slowly beginning to come back into consciousness. You had been asleep. You were dreaming. The light is on in the room, the harsh fluorescent a welcome presence for once. The shadows are gone, dissipated by the bright light overhead. Phil is gone, wiped away with the rest of the shadows. 
He’s nowhere to be seen because he wasn’t there in the first place. 
It was just a dream. It was just a nightmare. 
There’s a hand on yours, gently easing your fingers from the call button. You’re still trying to press it, your thumb moving almost automatically. You started pressing it in your sleep. 
“You’re okay. Breathe for me.” 
It’s Dr. Keller’s voice. It’s her arms wrapped around you, trying to stop you from moving as much. Your body is screaming in pain, but the panic flooding your body makes you almost numb to it. The pain in your chest is screaming with every rapid inhale, tightening and tightening the more until your fingers and toes start to go numb. 
“Deep breaths.” Dr. Keller says, her own breaths slow as she holds you. “In and out.” 
The inhale catches, the air shuddering into your lungs before you hold it, trying to force your body to calm down, just like the two of you practiced so many times. The heart monitor is beeping rapidly, another thing that must have translated in your state between wakefulness and sleep when Phil had shown up. Your heart is beating rapidly, thudding in your chest almost violently. It’s been through a lot these last few days. You wouldn’t be surprised if it just gave out suddenly. 
“Phil.” You gasp out, still trying to slow your breathing. “Phil was here.” 
“It was just a nightmare.” Dr. Keller says calmly, keeping her arms wrapped around you. “No one has come in or out of this room besides me. The guard outside won’t let anyone else in.” 
Guard. There’s someone outside the door. Your pack? No. She would have said so.
Where is your pack?
Phil was never here. It was just a nightmare. 
The last two thoughts repeat over and over in your head like a mantra as you start to cry, sobs wracking your body. You hate it, the fear, the terror, the anguish you felt as he lifted that ice pick, ready to stab you with it. 
“I hate it.” You croak out, voicing your thoughts for the first time in a few hours. 
“I know.” Dr. Keller says. “It’s normal to have nightmares after a traumatic event.” She adjusts her hold on you, tucking you against her chest. “It’s your brain trying to process what happened, trying to work its way through the trauma of the last few days. It’s cruel, but it’s a necessary part of healing.” 
Healing. 
Are you healing? Can you heal after everything? The pain is intense, not just outside but inside as well. The hurt, the anger, the fear, the anxiety, the panic, the depression, the rage, the betrayal. It’s too much. It’s so much all at once. You hate it. You hate that this happened in the first place. You hate that you have to go through this, have to heal, have to live through more nightmares. 
You hate your pack. That’s why they’re not here. 
For all you know they’ve left you. For all you know they’re on a plane back to the UK. 
Why would they want a broken, angry omega?
“I just want to be okay.” You sob, face pressed against her shoulder. 
“I know.” She says, cradling the back of your head, keeping you tight in her arms. “I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know words can't change that it happened, words can't make it all better, but we'll get you to where you're as okay as you can be again. I promise you I’ll do everything I can to get you there.” She leans her chin on the top of your head, squeezing you against her chest. “We'll get there, no matter how long it takes.” 
How long will it take? How long will your pain and suffering drag on for? Your body will heal eventually, but will your mind? Are you going to be this way for the rest of your life? Will you ever know peace again? But...have you ever really known peace? Your home growing up certainly wasn’t peaceful. Your presentation wasn’t peaceful, and neither was life at the institute. Being chosen by the FBI for this initiative that never existed in the first place certainly wasn’t peaceful. Despite how happy you became with your pack, even that life wasn’t peaceful. What little peace you thought you had was upended in the blink of an eye. 
How easily everything crumbled. 
Will it be possible to put it all back together again? 
Do you want to put it back together again? 
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Alcohol is easy to find in a place like this. Soldiers gravitate towards whatever crutch they can find to erase the nightmares they live in. It numbs the pain and the brain and keeps one sane, or at least that’s what his father used to say. 
Of course his father would drink himself into a stupor every Friday night, and he’d wake Saturday morning still in his chair with a full breakfast waiting for him. 
Much like his father, John has lost track of how many times he’s filled his glass. 
It’s been a long time since he’s gotten this drunk. He shook that habit after a shameful morning over ten years ago. He’d just gotten back from a bad deployment, one that gets labeled as a “mission gone wrong.” It failed under his command. He lost a lot of lives, not just his fellow soldiers. He’d drunk himself past a stupor and woke up passed out in a bush covered in vomit outside the gate with a rather angry CO over him. 
He shook the habit after that, easing himself to just a glass every so often on those days he needs to take the edge off, on those days he needs to numb the aches. 
Then Kyle came along. Kyle, his sweet beta with his ethical moral compass. His sweet beta who deserved a better life than what he was pulled into. Dutiful, loyal, principled. A good soldier, but a better man than John could ever be. He could fall into Kyle, bury himself under those soft touches, the soothing whispers, the comfort Kyle could offer him. The screaming in his head became less and less as he allowed Kyle to do what he was meant to do at his core. 
Comfort. 
Then you came along. 
He found himself turning to the liquid medicine less and less because he could bury himself in you. He had an omega, he had someone he could lean on, someone who understood without having to be told. The bond between alpha and omega is something so sacred and special, something to be cherished. 
And he threw it all away. 
He downs another glass, staring at the almost empty bottle. It had been sealed when he got it, brand new and fresh. He can feel it, the fogginess of alcohol clouding his brain. The world is swirling, melting together. He can’t feel much of anything anymore, yet that pain lingers deep in his chest. 
The bond. 
It’s like an open wound, gaping and pulsing. Eventually it’ll slow, eventually it’ll give out. That bond will be cut and everything will crumble. 
It’s all his fault. 
He ended things, he ended the pack, he ended the bond, he ended you. 
Would Graves have killed you? Would Shepherd have given those orders if they pushed onward, if they caught up to him? Graves would have done it slowly, taken his time, reveled in it. They would have gotten a video of it, hours long as you were tortured to death, zoomed in on your face as the life left your eyes. 
The thought makes his stomach churn. He wants to vomit at the mental picture of you laying there, covered in blood, those lifeless eyes staring at him. Eyes that once shone with life and happiness. Despite everything you had been happy. Despite everything that spark inside you was never extinguished. A fiery little thing that would give what they gave right back to them. 
Now you’re not even smoldering. 
You’ve been reduced to ashes, and it’s all his fault. It’s all his doing. 
He skips the glass this time, drinking straight from the bottle.
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“Have you seen John recently?” Kyle asks, standing in the doorway to their temporary living quarters. It’s a single room with two bunk beds. Far too tight of a space for their quickly souring dynamics. 
“No, not recently.” Johnny says, lifting his head up from his pillow. He’s been crying again. “You, LT?”
LT. They argued earlier...more like yelled in each others’ faces until they had to be separated at the risk of things getting physical. Kyle’s not even sure what they had been arguing about in the first place. Probably something miniscule and unimportant. Everything seems to be setting them off like grenades. Pull the pin and watch them explode. They’re all on edge, all of them feeling the distance growing wider and wider despite their best efforts to stop it. 
“No.” Simon says simply, staring up at the bottom of the bunk over him. He’s flat on his back, hands folded on his stomach. He looks like a corpse, might have been mistaken for one if it hadn’t been for the slow rise and fall of his chest. He’s still in his mask. He hasn’t taken it off since he arrived in the field. 
It’s late, but none of them can sleep. None of them have been able to get much sleep since they arrived nearly two days ago. Weeks without good, decent sleep wears on the brain too. 
“If he comes back here, text me.” Kyle says before closing the door, resuming his search for their missing captain. 
John has been beating himself up for nearly two days now. Kyle’s never seen his captain quite so distraught and lost. He’s blaming himself, which in all fairness, he should be doing. It is his fault. Kyle will be the first to point blame in this situation, but none of them are truly blameless. None of them questioned it, none of them even argued with him on that decision. They followed blindly as they were supposed to for the first time in a long time. They didn’t question their captain, their alpha, their leader. 
He hates himself for it. 
Why didn’t he question it? Why didn’t he argue? Why didn’t he voice his opinion, fight back against that decision? He trusted his alpha when he shouldn’t have, and you paid for it. 
He’s glad he didn’t have to see you. He’s glad he didn’t have to face down the state Johnny and Simon found you in. He’s glad he didn’t have to see what you looked like even after the blood had been cleaned off and the true horror was revealed. 
He hasn’t gone to see you at all. 
He’s not sure he could handle it. You won’t care either way from the sound of it. You’ve been reduced to a shell, silent and empty. You’ve barely said a word since this morning, instead just lying there and staring at the ceiling according to the doctor when she’d updated them this afternoon.
Your body will heal slowly, but your mind will remain a battleground. 
He leaves the barracks, looking up at the dark sky. It’s clear tonight. He’d probably see the stars if there wasn’t constant light pollution around the base. What do the stars look like here? He’s stared up at the stars constantly in the last few weeks in places there was little light pollution. His only comfort about being away from you so long was the knowledge that you were under the same sky. Be it day or night, the stars were overhead. You wouldn’t be able to see them either way, but they were shining for you too. 
Now you’re both under the same stars, but you’re both still so far away.
He lets out a sigh, lowering his gaze. He has a job to do, a captain to find. 
“Where are you John?” He breathes, looking in all directions, trying to decide which way to go next. He had stopped in at the med center already, but he wasn’t there. No one had seen him, even the doctor. He’s searched everywhere he could think to search, but his captain is nowhere to be found. 
John will kill him if he requests a base-wide search. 
He walks around the side of the barracks, hoping maybe he’ll run into John coming back this way. Usually he wouldn’t bother searching for him, but with his mind how it has been, Kyle can’t help but be worried. Even with the bonds fraying between them, he still has that instinctual need to make sure his alpha is okay. Instincts can’t be ignored. No matter how much bonds between packs fray, instincts will always remain the same. 
That’s why he still feels that urge to go and see you. 
John will kill him if he requests a base-wide search. 
He knows how self-destructive John can be despite how composed he makes himself appear. He’s only seen his alpha in that state once, and he has a feeling he’s about to a second time. 
He leans against the wall with a sigh when he reaches the other side of the barracks. Nothing. No sign of him. No texts from Johnny or Simon either. He’d asked Dr. Keller to let him know if he shows up in the med center too, but there’s been nothing. No word. No signs. 
Maybe he should just give up looking. John will find his way back to the barracks eventually. Or he won’t. 
That could be tomorrow’s problem. A distraction, a mission, something to give them purpose and force them to unite again. 
Find their missing captain. Find their missing alpha.
He turns back around to follow the sidewalk back to the front of the barracks when he hears shuffling footsteps dragging on the concrete. He turns, squinting into the darkness between lamps as a figure stumbles through the shadows, muttering under its breath. He knows that voice, he knows that figure. 
John. 
John stumbles forward, nearly falling but Kyle reaches out, catching him. His mind is racing, silently checking for any blood, any sign of injury, but there’s nothing. 
Maybe everything is finally getting to him. Maybe his body has finally been pushed to the limit and it’s giving out. He’s having a medical emergency. 
“Easy, sir.” He says, trying to calm his panic as he fights to keep John upright despite John’s body wanting to fall the rest of the way onto the ground. Kyle takes a breath in, catching the sour scent of alcohol wafting off his captain. 
Not a medical emergency, then. 
He sought out some liquid comfort instead. 
The thought makes Kyle’s chest twinge still. 
“’S all over.” John slurs, his weight getting heavier and heavier. “Everything is over.” He turns his head, blinking slowly. “Kyle?” 
“It’s me, sir. I’ve got you.” He slings John’s arm over his shoulders, making his weight easier to hold. 
“Kyle.” He slurs again, the two syllables blurring together. “Too good to me, Kyle.” John pulls his arm free, stumbling forward. 
Kyle just manages to lessen his fall onto the concrete, making sure John doesn’t smack the back of his head at least. He’ll have some scrapes and bruises tomorrow, though. Right now he probably can’t even feel it. If he was responsible, he’d take John to the med center, let him sleep off the alcohol on the safety of a gurney, but that would probably just cause more problems for everyone. 
John would be pissed when he woke up. 
He lets out a sigh as he stands there, staring down at his captain. John’s on his back, eyes up and focused on the sky, hiccuping every so often. He’s never seen his captain quite this drunk before, though he has heard stories of when John was younger. 
“I’ve killed her.” John mumbles. “I’ve killed all of us.” 
Kyle drops to a knee beside John. “You haven’t killed anyone.” 
“She’s fading away. Soon she’ll be gone.” He murmurs. “We’ll go too.” John pushes himself up to sit. “It’s all over. Everything is over.” 
Kyle grips John’s arms before he can fall back again, holding him in place. “Nothing is over yet, sir. We can still do something. It’ll just take time.” 
John turns to look at him, his eyes hazy and far away. “Kyle.” John says his name softly, reaching out to brush his fingers across Kyle’s cheek. “Pretty boy.” He slumps against Kyle’s chest, his weight nearly making both of them topple over. “Too good to me, Kyle.” 
“I care about you a lot, sir.” Kyle says, rubbing his back. “More than I think you realize.” He murmurs the last bit more to himself than anything. Not that John will likely remember any of this in the morning. “We should get you in bed. We’ve got a long day tomorrow.” 
They do. They have to decide what to do next. 
“Come on.” He says, hauling John to his feet carefully. John lets him, letting Kyle wrap his arm around his shoulders. 
It’s slow going, Kyle half dragging John back to the barracks. He’s quiet at least, only the occasional scuffle of his footsteps as he stumbles breaking the quiet night. He gets John back to their room fairly easily, easing him into the other bottom bunk across from Simon. The room is still and silent aside from the occasional sniffle from one of the top bunks. 
He grabs the blanket from his own bunk, draping it across John instead. Maybe in his drunk state, the scent will bring him some comfort, help ease that ache inside of him.
He’s hoping John’s scent will do the same for him. 
“It’ll be alright, sir.” He says, making sure his captain is comfortable. He stands up, staring down at his Captain. “Everything will be fine.” 
He’s not sure who he’s trying to convince. 
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John stares down into his tea as they sit around a table. His head is throbbing, pulsing heavily behind his eyes. It’s his own damn fault, going out and getting drunk like that. He hasn’t done it in years, yet he couldn’t stand the pain gnawing away at his chest. Alcohol hadn’t fixed it. It’s still there, still pulsing away. The alcohol had only numbed it at least for a few hours, and if anything, it made it worse. 
“Kate left this morning back to DC.” He says, glancing up at the other three members of his team. “They're still working on cleanup and helping Alex and Farah track Shepherd. I spoke with Dr. Keller this morning. We’ll be able to fly out soon.” 
The words hang heavy in the air. He hadn’t mentioned you at all, but he’s not sure he could without breaking down. You are improving slowly, Christine had said, giving him a sympathetic look as he squinted in the harsh fluorescents. She knew. She could tell just by looking at him. She’s that good at her job. 
He’s glad they have her. He’s glad you have her.  
“Where are we going tae go?” Johnny asks. 
“We can’t go back to base.” Simon says. 
“You’re right. Going back to base is too risky.” John says. “Shepherd could have eyes there already. And with her mind where it is...” Taking you back would be too much too soon, even without the risk. One of their own had already betrayed them once. They can’t trust anyone anymore. “We need somewhere secluded and quiet. Somewhere no one will know we’re going where we can lay low for a while.” Both out of necessity for their safety, but also for your sake. 
It falls silent between them. Shepherd knows all of their possible safehouses, all of the places they mind go to stay hidden. Those only they know off the record are hard to get to, requiring miles of hiking. You wouldn't be up for that even without the physical injuries, and they doubt you'd let one of them carry you. If they had to get out quickly...
“My parents have a place,” Kyle says, glancing up at them from his own cup of tea. “Out in Cornwall. A cottage near the cliffs. It’s quiet, secluded. No one knows about it but us. Tourist season is over too. There won't be many out there poking around this time of year.” Anyone wandering around out there that close would be suspicious.
“It’s a good option.” Johnny shrugs. 
“It’s our only option.” Simon says. 
“It’s exactly what we need.” Kyle says. “Trying to rent this time of year will only draw attention, and we can't trust we won't be ratted out. Shepherd likely still has allies. We were betrayed by one of our own before.” Kyle says. 
“You're sure no one else knows about it?” John asks, looking at his beta. 
“Just my parents and my siblings. They wouldn’t ask any questions if I told them it was being used.” Kyle shrugs. “It might be our best option.”
John looks around at them. It is their best option for now. He knows Kyle's family is just like the rest of theirs. They know they can't know and they won't ask questions. 
“We had a conversation once, months ago.” John says. “She told me she wanted to live next to the sea someday. She wants to be close enough that she can smell it and see it.” 
He pauses thinking back months ago after Simon left, after you were so affected by his absence. That conversation when you asked if he’d ever leave for you, when he told you if your life was ever in danger because of them he’d leave in a heartbeat. He’s made a liar out of himself. He broke his promise, so many promises, made not just to you. Not just to the pack. 
He glances at the other three, fighting back the lump in his throat, the endless threat of tears that has been rising like the tide and threatening to drown him at any moment. He’s made his decision, he’s made up his mind. 
You have to come first. 
His priorities have changed. There’s no initiative to follow, no orders to be given out. Kate was right. This is their moment to change things, this is his moment to change things. His pack will follow. Despite everything, they’ll trust him to make the right decision. They won’t hesitate to challenge him anymore, but there’s still that deeply ingrained trust in their alpha and captain. 
The alpha comes first. 
No, the omega comes first. 
He takes a sip of his tea, bitter without any milk, but it’ll do. “She wanted to be close to the sea.” He looks back up at the other three having made his decision. “Taking her there might just be what she needs.” 
NEXT ->
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fluoneia · 4 days ago
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sypnosis. continuation of pitfighter!vi. vi’s drink at the rink is spiked with something she’d never experienced before. she goes back to the brothel in the hopes of finding you.
warnings. smut (17+), aphrodisiacs, switch (mostly sub)!vi, kind of period sex? idk. no major part of it, lowkey angsty at the end
a/n. oh my gahhh guys u don’t understand how happy i am to get requests you guys r so sweet please leave more !! and GUYSSS i LIVE for sub!vi i’m so happy for this request
arcane masterlist ✯
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vi never thought she’d get herself so deep into this. into you. she went to babette’s in the first place for a quick release, yet, she found herself enveloped in you. obsessed with you. every thought was about you, about how you made her feel.
but tonight, she had the overwhelming urge to see you. to devour you..
or maybe, for you to devour her?
vi didn’t care. so long as she could return to the feeling you gave her a week ago.
“babette.” vi would husk as she falls into the brothel, catching herself on the desk. “where is she?”
“who, darling?” babette’s eyebrows furrow.
“her. dammit.” vi pushed off the desk, stalking down the hallway. she ripped each and every curtain open, looking for your face, for you. she didn’t care seeing the other girls breasts, she didn’t care seeing the cocks and the horrified faces as she glanced in every room looking for you.
she didn’t understand why. she’d never felt this much desire for a person, but yet, here she was. she wanted you, wanted that feeling she had.
her mind fogs as it fills with images from the week before. she remembered your sweet whispers, the feeling of your hands on her body, violating her, pleasuring her in a way she had never been pleasured before.
vi would never consider herself a bottom. but right now, she didn’t care for titles. she just wanted you.
but, when she doesn’t find you in any of the rooms, her heart yearns. she storms back to the front-desk.
“where the fuck is she?!” vi nearly damn whines. she didn’t understand why she was so desperate.
“violet. who are you talking about?”
“the girl! last week, i was here, and there was a new girl here. where is she?”
“oh, you mean.. y/n?” babette chuckles. “oh, you’re not the first one back for seconds, honey. it seems she made an impression on you.”
vi feels a rush of anger. she knew this is what you did for work, yet, she couldn’t help the raw anger in her heart as she thought of someone else with you, taking those sweet gasps, your moans and words that haunted her thoughts.
vi wanted to be the only one doing that to you. making you writhe, cry. she wanted you to be the only one that did that to her.
“she went home. you can always come back next week.”
“next week?” vi’s breath hitches in her throat.
“she took the week off. you know how this job is, it can be draining.”
and it feels like vi’s breath can’t keep up with herself. she glanced back down the hallway, before snapping her head back to babette.
“where does she live?”
“i’m afraid i can’t give you that information.”
“dammit, babette!” vi slams her fist against the desk. why was she trying so hard? why was she so desperate?
she stills as she hears footsteps behind her. delicate, soft.
“it’s you.” you whisper behind her, and oh, your sweet, sweet voice nearly makes her legs give out.
it’s like everything clicks back together in her head. every nerve comes alive, sending cold shivers down her body, when she hears your voice.
“y/n, honey, what are you doing back?” babette asks you.
“oh, i just came to drop a few things off.” you shrug. your heart beats faster as you feel vi’s eyes on you. you were used to clients coming back, but she was different. she wasn’t like the other clients, vi was.. something else.
you spare a glance at her, and you gasp at her dishevelled state. vi suddenly remembered she never even asked for your name. now, she knew it.
“so, i’d.. id better get going.” you clear your throat, turning on your heel.
“wait—“ vi grabs your wrist, but you pull away. she walked behind you. “wait, wait, just—“
“i’m afraid i can’t be of service to you.” you shake your head, finally stopping. “one of the other girls can take you.”
“i don’t want the other girls.” vi exasperates, “shit— i want you.”
you feel your breath hitch in your throat.
truth is, you couldn’t be of service to her. you were on your period, which is why you were given the week off.
you turn to look at her. she’s heaving, moving closer to you. you see her lips are chapped from the air, and this time her face was clean from the face paint she had on last time.
“violet, i..”
as soon as you said her name, it’s like anything vi had left of any sort of will is gone. she grabs onto you, pressing you back, your back hitting the wall with a thud.
she’s panting. her hot breath hits your lips.
“you need to help me.” vi whispers as she cranes her neck, pressing her face against your neck, breathing in your scent like it was all the oxygen she needed.
“what’s up with you?” your brows furrowed, hands releasing to grab her face and pull her back. now closer, you can see her pupils are blown out.
and suddenly, you remembered rumours of a new drug going out, mostly for couples. because it was an aphrodisiac, and a strong one at that.
“you.. you take drugs?” you narrow your eyes, avoiding her gaze. you never pegged her as the type, but remembering she was a pitfighter, it wasn’t exactly frowned upon in that business.
“what?” vi’s eyes flicker. “no, fuck no, i don’t. i just drink.”
then, you think for a second. you gasp when you realize.
“you got laced.” you peer back up at her. “there’s a new drug— blossom. it’s an aphrodisiac, vi. but.. it’s not specific to make you want certain people, just.. sex. you didn’t have to come all the way here.”
“i don’t care for other people.” she huffs. “fuck, i— i just want you.”
you frown. “that’s just the drugs talking.”
“it’s not the drug.” you feel her nose press again your neck, her breath, her scent. and your mind is brought back to one week ago, when you had the night of your fucking life. you’ve never had better sex.
you suddenly remember her pretty little moans, her body, rough and scarred, but still so beautiful. you never expected for her to be submissive, but that night proved everything you thought to be wrong.
and it turned you on even more that you could have the best of both worlds with vi.
you could have a dominant, rough, teasing girl to give you pleasure. but, she could also submit to you on the snap of your finger, especially now.
all your needs are met with vi. so, why do you want to push her away so badly? fear? fear that this could just as easily turn into something more, and jeopardize your job?
fuck it. what’s one night?
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“wha— what is that?” vi says so sweetly, so innocently. you brought her back to your house, and now, she was under your will just as easily as you could get a glass of water.
you eyes scan over her body. bloody, bruised, scarred. her budding breasts, the trail of hair just above where you’ve been purposefully avoiding.
you hum as you run your fingers over the marks on her neck, her breasts. her hands have been glued to you all night, trying to pry every last bit of clothing on your body, to consume you whole, to have nothing but your skin against hers, like how it should be. how it should always be.
“what, you’ve never seen one before?” you glance toward her as you raise the silicone cock toward her.
“i— i’ve.. heard of them.” vi swallows as her eyes follow it.
“think you can handle it?” you jest, leaning back so you could loom over her. you hold the straps over you torso, tightening it around your hips.
her eyes are trained on the harness. it stirs a weird feeling inside of her— she’d never been attracted to men, nor wanted anything to do with their dumb cocks. yet, when she sees you, with that pink dildo that reminds her of her old hair, she wants nothing but for it to be inside of her, deflowering her, taking every last bit of dignity she thought she had.
with you, it all goes away. she didn’t care anymore. she just wanted you.
vi’s hands find your bare back, pulling you against her, lips only inches away from yours. her hands roam your soft skin, clutching onto your stomach, wanting to fuse her body with yours.
“i don’t care if i can handle it.” she muttered, pupils nearly taking over her whole eyes. “give it to me. give it all to me.”
you hum as you press your lips against the corner of her mouth. she gasps, before letting a loud whine from her throat.
“kiss me.” she grasps your face, “dammit, kiss me.”
“isn’t that too.. intimate?”
vi groans in annoyance as she tightens her grip on your face, lips crashing against yours in a fiery, passionate movement.
and you realize, vi didn’t want just regular old sex. she didn’t want to be treated like a whore, like a client. she wanted passion; she wanted you to make love to her.
and you shake the thoughts way with the thought— it’s just the aphrodisiac.
slowly, you let yourself melt against her, melt against her lips. her tongue grazes your lip, just barely, and you take that as permission to let your tongue slip against hers, dancing in a passionate movement for dominance. vi’s hands tighten on your body, grasp at the plush of your thighs, so soft, so delicate.
and she thinks, just maybe, she’s slowly starting to get a grasp on herself again. she remembered— she should be the one in control.
but, then.. the thoughts fade away as soon as they come.
she gasped as you take hold of the silicone dildo, moving to press it against her slick, coating the tip of it in the warmth.
you hum as her will instantly diminishes, vi’s chest heaving at the reminder that right now, she was under your will. under your control.
you pull away from her lips to mutter, “sure you can handle this?”
“i’m fucking sure.” vi grunts, hands gripping your cheeks harder, pulling your lips against hers again. and she thinks, your lips were so soft. scarily soft. dangerously soft in a way that she was scared she’d never be able to leave you— the feeling of your lips, your hands, ever again.
and when your hands press against her stomach, softly grazing against the bruise beneath her rib, she grimaces in pain. but.. she found it even more dangerous that she didn’t want to shy away from the pain, from your hands. instead, she relished in it, and it only aroused her more.
vi’s mind goes into an instant fog as you slowly press the silicone inside her, entering her with a soft pop!
and she cries out in both pain and immeasurable pleasure. her hands roam into your hair, tightening against it as she tries to alleviate the raw pain of the stretch.
you frown as you realize you probably should have chosen a smaller one, considering it was her first time.
but, you grin again as you see vi’s spine arching up, toward you, pushing the dildo in more.
and vi swore she saw white.
“shh, shh..” you whisper, breath trickling down her neck. “you can take it.”
“oh, fuck!” vi’s eyes close as her face tightens fully.
“relax.” you hum against the shell of her ear, hand grazing over her stomach, up, and up and up, rubbing against her breasts. “can’t do anything when you’re so damn tight, vi.” you giggle into her ear. “eyes on me. come on.”
you tap just underneath her eye, against the tattoo on her cheek you could now see without the face paint. it was of her name. a little egotistical, much?
she opens her eyes with a damn whimper, and you swore it was the most sexiest thing you’ve ever heard.
“that’s it.” you glance at her. the way you were looking at her, so primal, so full of lust, vi swore she could melt into a puddle in her spot. she was so far gone now, she knew that there was no going back.
her eyes train on you, not daring to look away. she finds herself lost in your eyes, and you in hers, so blue, so soft. she was submitting to you with her very own eyes, and you knew that, even without looking at her body yearning for you.
you take the chance at her body relaxing to push your hips forward, relaxing yourself into her until your hips touched hers, your bodies fusing together.
her mouth gapes, her eyes rolling back. oh, she was so far into this hole now.
your hands grab her calves, pressing her back, nearly pushing her down so far her knees could touch her ears with one movement.
and oh, the stretch, so painful, filling her, pressing so deep inside of her unlike anything she’s ever felt.
vi’s hands race to cover her face, a whine escaping her throat as she panted, feeling so, so full.
“what’s wrong, hm? feel too good?” you jest as you lean closer.
vi says nothing. you test the waters by using the new position to press deeper, angling your hips to hit the spot you knew always worked.
in both men and women, there’s always a soft spot that will make them bleed in submission, that will let you fully take control of their head. that’s what you did best.
vi cried out. she knew that damn spot, of course she did, but she never imagined it would be used against her, that someone would hit that spot, and hit it so fucking good.
“thi—! this position..” she mewled, “ts’ too embarrassing.”
and you fucking laugh. “you’ll learn soon that nothing is embarrassing when you’re with me.
“you’ll learn to forget yourself in these moments.” you tease your tongue against her jaw, hands moving to her thighs, pushing her down deeper. “embarrassment doesn’t exist with me. you’ll see.”
as if to solidify your words, you gently pull your hips back, till the dildo was about halfway out, then you slam your hips back against hers. vi cried out, voice cracking at the sudden movement.
“this okay?” you’d whisper against her skin.
vi’s heart nearly melts. even in this moment, so crude to put her in such a lude position, you’re still so damn sweet to her, just like last week.
but, vi can’t respond. she can’t form words. she didn’t remember how, or when she forgot how to speak until the words catch into her throat.
slowly, her eyes open and she nods her head. it was more then okay, it was the best damn thing she’d felt in her entire life.
“i need words, vi.”
“y.. ye—s! it’s okay.” vi sputters, face rushing full of blood, blushing so cutely. you chuckle.
“good.” you smile against her pulse, pressing a soft kiss there. then, you rock your hips back, just barely, before thrusting your hips back in.
you continue at the slow, teasing, torturing and mean pace. you feel vi’s legs shiver against you, her head pushing back into the pillow.
you feel a sound in her throat, against your lips, and she pushes her body closer to yours.
her entire body shakes with each thrust, each push back inside of her, so deep, pressing just barely over that spot each time.
and she realized, she wanted you to be rougher. she wanted you to act like how she treats other girls she sleeps with, how she treated you that one night. maybe that was all she wanted all along— projecting the way she treated the girls because she wanted someone to do that to her.
she didn’t know that until you, you, you, came into her life.
every thought was you. every, single, thought. mind a total haze, she forgets herself. she doesn’t care to be quiet anymore, she doesn’t care to try and stay reserved. she wanted you to do whatever you wanted to her.
and she’d probably let you.. if you weren’t treating her like a damned delicate doll.
“g..” she starts, a wonton moan escaping her lips. “faster.”
“oh?” you grin. “you ready now, huh? all stretched out?”
“ye— ugh! yes, i’m—‘i’m ready.” she grasps onto the sheet beneath her.
“hm, you sure?”
“yes, i’m fucking sure!”
“you’d better watch your mouth, vi. or this is just gonna go slower.” you move to meet her gaze, nose pressing against hers. “got that?”
vi looks like a puppy who’s being teased a treat, being made to do tricks. soft little gasps, soft sounds leave her as she clutched the sheet harder. she swallows, before slowly nodding.
“good.” you say as you nip at her nose, before adjusting your hold on her thighs, propping yourself up.
you tilt back to spit on her already sopping folds, and she bites her lip at the lude gesture.
you slowly, oh so slowly, pull your hips back till just the tip is left inside of her.
then, you ram your hips back against her, so roughly it makes the bed shake.
a loud noise leaves vi. she grips so hard on the sheets she pulled the fitted sheet off the bed, but not paying it no mind. all she cared about right now was getting more of this feeling, more of you.
“fuck!” vi cried out.
you chuckle. then, you begin at a steady, harder, faster pace. your hand lets go of her thigh, letting it drop down on the side of the bed, hand moving to graze over her face.
your hands push her hair back out of her face, clutching it so tightly. vi heaved at the feeling, mouth agape as you press your hips faster, harder, so harsh against that spot she felt like she was going insane.
then, you let go of her hair. and you brush your fingers over her lips, prying them open, pressing your fingers against her tongue.
“wouldn’t want the neighbours to hear, would you?” you had no neighbours. but, vi didn’t know that. “wouldn’t want them to know i’m fucking you so good like this, hm?”
vi doesn’t respond. her eyes are fully gone, concentrated on you, and you feel a soft gag against your finger.
she doesn’t think as she lets her teeth clamp against your fingers, biting so hard because she can’t handle the pleasure, so hard it drew blood.
and the taste of your blood enough was to send her over the edge.
you feel the vibration of her voice against your fingers, her entire body erupting into a shaking mess.
“oh!” your eyes gleam as you glance down, slowing your thrusts, relishing in the glance of the pink dildo slowly staining white.
and your heart leaps as you see her hips pulling away. oh, how hilarious.
“you had me in the same position before.” you husk, “and you didn’t give me mercy. so greedy, aren’t you, vi?”
you let your fingers slip out of her mouth so she can speak.
“god, oh my god!” she gasped, entire body collapsing against your bed. “i-i fuck, god..” her hips drag away from you, stomach jolting from your touch against her stomach.
“so.. wouldn’t it only be fair to give you the same treatment? punish you?”
vi shakes her head violently.
“no, no!”
you still as you see the tear on her cheek.
“no more. no more.” she pants, eyes slowly opening to glance up to you.
you let your eyes close with a sigh.
“oh well. another night.” you snort as you slowly pull the dildo out of her, letting it hang, and resting it on her thigh. “let me clean you up. that sound good, hm?”
vi stares at the ceiling with no response. you snort, before pulling yourself away, hucking the strap off to some random place. vi suddenly looks to you, before roughly grabbing your wrist.
“don’t go. please.” she whispers.
you stiffen at her words. slowly, you relax. and you obey her wishes.
“alright. i won’t.”
vi’s hands travel down your body, hooking around your waist and pulling you against her chest.
even after what you thought was probably the orgasm of vi’s life, she was still a fighter after all, and she was strong.
you let yourself melt against her. her hands graze over your back, body still shaking as she reminisced in the feeling of her high.
“that.. that was a one time thing.” vi suddenly says. she swallowed. “it was just an aphrodisiac. i am not a bottom.”
you pick your head up off her chest, narrowing your eyes at her. she quickly adverts her gaze, biting her tongue, a harsh blushing finding her cheeks. you snort.
“keep telling yourself that, vi. that’s what every stubborn top says after they’ve seen me.”
she makes a tch sound. “whatever. bunch of wimps.”
you giggle.
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it was probably around two hours later, and you hadn’t moved from where you two both were. your hands played with her hair.
and you realize, this was the first time you ever stayed with a client after their appointment. and it continued to dawn on you that this probably wasn’t what a client and a businesswoman’s relationship should be like.
“hey, y/n?” vi rasps, her voice laced with tiredness and sleep. “i.. i have to talk to you about something.”
you still. was she.. going to say something bad? good? proclaim love? you’d been in that rodeo before— let’s say, it was the main reason you had left your old brothel in piltover.
you glance toward her.
“yeah?”
“i won’t be coming back.” she stares at the wall as she says this.
you snort. “that’s what they all say—“
“no, i mean.. i mean, there’s someone.” she sighs. you still your hands.
she props herself up. you pull away from her chest to sit up straight.
“someone as in.. someone you love?”
vi glances toward you.
“no. i.. i don’t know.” she shakes her head, avoiding her gaze. “not exactly.”
you say nothing.
“do you want to know the reason i got into pit fighting?” vi stares down at her hands, “well.. a lot of shit has happened in my life. it feels like.. like i’ve never got a chance to take a breath of air before another thing was thrown at me.”
she inhaled. “i.. i was in stillwater prison for four years. got thrown in when i was probably.. sixteen?” she shakes her head.
“so.. you escaped? or something?”
“no. no, uh..” she grimaces, like it pains her to talk about it. “the girl. the.. someone, i guess. she got me released to help her with this stupid investigation. an enforcer.” she chuckled. “stupid girl.”
“we.. she was my first kiss. my first, i guess.. crush, if that isn’t too kiddish. i thought everything would go great after that. then.. shit happened. and, she left.”
your brows furrow. she left? just like that, and she deserves to hold vi’s heart?
“but.. i guess i came to the realization that i couldn’t stay away from her.”
vi’s face tightened as she thought. caitlyn should have been the one she was thinking of while under the effects of that blossom drug. but, she wasn’t. it was you. and that weirded her out. confused her.
“can’t just let all that go to waste, you know?” vi ignored her thoughts. “so, i’m gonna find her. even if.. even if she’s gotten over me. there’s always friends, right?”
you purse your lips. then, you stand. you grab a robe from a hanger and tie it around your body.
“you shouldn’t let your first love plague yourself forever, vi.” you say tightly. “you may never be able to let it go. trying to fix something that’s already broken won’t go as you expect.”
vi says nothing.
“take it from me. i thought i’d loved someone before. but.. it was bad for me. it tried to salvage any relationship i got into because i didn’t want to accept change, that people i thought i’d loved wouldn’t change, would remain in the same spot forever. but, that’s life. people change, for the worst, for the better.. it’s human nature.”
then, i chuckle. “i’m not about to give you a lecture. i’m not your mother. but, just.. think about that before you drop everything for a girl who may have already moved on from you.”
“don’t revolve your life depending on other people’s love. especially if they abandoned you after taking your first kiss.”
“no, caitlyn, she’s.. she’s different. she was grieving. it was my fault—“
“no need to start placing blame on yourself. you can’t control a feeling like love.”
you step toward her.
“cherish that. cherish the way you love. i may not know you, but.. i can tell you have a good heart. if this caitlyn girl is truly who you love, then let it happen.”
“your mind is still young. emotions is all you have.”
you tap her forehead.
“so go.”
vi’s forehead creases as she thinks.
“but.. vi?” you slant your head. you lean back toward her, pressing yourself closer so your noses touched. you brush a hand over her face.
“i know you won’t be able to resist me for long. you’ll be back.”
vi’s eyes are trained on you. her breath picks up, before she suddenly stands, scrambling away from you.
“uh! i, um, i have to go now.” vi swallows, rapidly picking up her clothes and putting them on.
you giggle as you let yourself fall into your pillows.
“see you, then, violet. i hope our time was good for you.”
she spares you one last look, and you swore you’d never forget the gleam in her eyes, the red on her neck and on her cheeks. so adorable.
she stalks toward the door, moving for the handle. then, she stills. she takes a deep breath.
“y/n?” she says softly. “if i.. if i ever do come back. just know, it’s my turn to use that thing on you.”
you feel your breath catch in your throat at that damn smirk.
without another word, she opens the door and slams it closed behind her.
you blink.
“damn, that girl gives me whiplash.”
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a/n. said i wasn’t going to continue it, but here we are. um, expect a part three. probably. maybe. 🤗 idk still deciding
for @nobodyknowsimalesbian777 , hope my sub version of vi was to ur liking 😭 sorry it went a little off track of the request i got lost in it
find more about my taglist here.
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yuwuta · 11 months ago
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RODEO STATION, 1 — MEGUMI FUSHIGURO 
A collection of you and Megumi, through the years, through Gojo’s eyes. 
content, warnings: friends to lovers, fluff, sort of canon-adjacent, satoru adopts megumi and tsumiki, reader has a cursed technique but it’s not mentioned in depth here, really just you and megumi falling in love and gojo watching
word count: 1.1k
part i: first years, jujutsu tech. fits in the timeline around when nobara first joins the class
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When Satoru first finds him, Megumi has two conditions. First, that Tsumiki would be kept safe and happy, and far away from the Zenin clan if they weren’t going to be good to her—safe and far away from all jujutsu society if Gojo could help it; and that she would never have to worry about feeding herself or Megumi ever again. Satoru agreed right away, he would have done that without the request. 
For his second condition, an eight year old Megumi looked Satoru straight in the eye and told him that he would absolutely not be separated from you. Satoru thought it was cute, sweet, in the bratty, and naive but determined kind of way that seemed to be everything that kid stood for, and Satoru couldn’t fault him for it. Megumi’s evident childlike adoration of you aside, Satoru saw potential in you, too, so he accepted Megumi’s conditions, happy to welcome the two of you to the world of sorcery. 
It’s not until a week before you both start at Jujutsu Tech, that Satoru really asks Megumi why he wants you here (never mind the fact that you had already also made up your mind about being a sorcerer, and if there is anything that Satoru has learned about you in the past decade, it’s that: one, you have the magical ability to make Megumi do anything you say; and two, you’re incredible persuasive and very stubborn). Megumi doesn’t look him in the eye when he answers, fidgeting with his melting ice cream instead when he says, “Well, she saved my life.” 
Satoru doesn’t tease when he hears this, only digging his spoon in for a scoop of Megumi’s toffee butter, smiling to himself when the cold hits his tongue, because he’d heard the message loud and clear: Megumi believes he owes you his life, and to keep yours protected, he wants you by his side.
Satoru quickly learns that Megumi truly has his work cut out for him as he watches you burst through a top-floor window of a high-rise building, falling carelessly with the object of your mission—a special-grade cursed object—clutched in your grasp. Second later, there’s a loud explosion, as the ugly head of a large cursed falls limp in the hole in the broken glass that you’d left behind. Satoru chuckles when he sees you smile, and the faint cheer of weeeeeeeee as you fall. He knew you were wild and stubborn by the way you bossed Megumi around without a care, but seeing you in action proved that you were also in your own league of crazy, a fantastic sorceress in the making. 
To his left, Yuuji gapes wildly as he looks up, shielding his eyes with his hand, and then flinching back when Nobara bursts through the ground floor door, not without a nail going flying into the curse that had been chasing her. She looks angry, then wide eyed, then up to where Yuuji and Megumi were also staring and starts squealing alongside him. 
“Gojo-sensei, what are you standing there smiling about—do something!” Nobara shouts, pointing an accusatory finger up in the air at your flying body. 
Yuuji gasps again, like he’d just figured out the consequence of you falling from a building, spewing on his own cries, “Hey, seriously, what the hell are we doing—she can’t fly,” he shouts, turning to shake his sensei, then pausing, “Wait, Fushiguro, can she fly? You know her.” 
“Idiot,” Nobara spits, “If she could fly then she’d be flying, not falling.”
“Then why aren’t we doing any—you know what, I think I can catch her,” Yuuji boasts, rolling up his sleeves, prepared to position himself underneath your descending body, and that’s when Satoru steps in, extending an arm in front of his students. 
“You all worry too much,” he smiles, lifting his blindfold just enough to look the pair in the eye, and tilt his head up slightly, “Besides, Megumi’s handled it.” 
Three heads turn back up to the sky, where you’re no longer in freefall, instead have had your shoulders snatched by Nue’s talons. You’ve still got that wild smile on your face, wider now as you descend much more elegantly via Megumi’s shikigami. Nobara and Yuuji wince as Nue’s wings flap widely when you’re set on the ground. You shift the box with the cursed object to one hand, reaching your free one around to pet the bird’s feathers. It crows happily, and Satoru snickers, much to Megumi’s dismay. You always did treat his shikigami like pets. 
“Hey, you’re okay!” Yuuji cheers, eyes sparkling, “What’s in the box? A sword—actually, I don’t want to know. If it’s another finger, keep it away from me.” 
“Hand it here,” Nobara demands. You’re happy to hand over the box and have another hand available for petting Nue. 
Satoru watches fondly as Yuuji and Nobara fuss over the box. They should probably exercise more caution, but he’s there, so the worst can’t happen. Meanwhile, you step closer to Megumi with Nue fluttering behind you. 
“You’re the one who told me there would be no need to get involved,” Megumi says, voice soft, hands falling comfortably at his side. 
“I said that you wouldn’t have to get involved with the curses,” you correct, standing on your tiptoes to nuzzles your head into the bird’s feathers, “I said nothing about not getting involved with me.” 
Satoru does his best not to choke out a loud laugh as Megumi’s face becomes increasingly pink when you reach forward to pinch his cheeks, his grumbling drowned in the sound of Yuuji and Nobara’s bickering. Satory sighs, content. He cares for all his students, but there’s a certain weight lifted on his shoulders knowing that when it came to you, there was truly nothing to worry about—Megumi would always be there for you. Honestly, he thinks Megumi might fight him to protect you if it came down to it. 
That thought does bring an audible chuckle to his lips, Megumi’s pinched expression calling to him, “What are you laughing about?” 
To which Satoru only hums, sticking his hands in his pockets. Megumi’s eyebrows furrow deeper, but it’s quickly dissolved when you catch his attention again, saying your farewells to Nue before giving Megumi the okay to let him recede into his shadows. 
“Oh, nothing,” Satoru chirps, turning to lead the group back to Ichiji’s car, “Come on, who’s still up for revolving sushi!”  
Cheers follow him as the veil dispels. You question Yuuji about whether or not you think the restaurant will have grilled eel, and Nobara pretends to throw up, arguing that eel is the worst, that you all should stick to hand rolls instead. Megumi stays quiet, walking on your outside, and humming along with all of your suggestions, and Satoru can’t help but wonder whether or not you knew that Nue had been out from the moment you’d stepped in the building. 
Honestly, he thinks Megumi might win that fight—might win any fight if it meant being with you.
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dissapointu · 3 days ago
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“Lucky Cards”
The dimly lit room hums with quiet chatter, the sound of cards shuffling, and the clink of glass bottles being set down. You’re sitting comfortably on Sevika’s lap, her arms around you in a protective embrace as she leans back in her chair. The table in front of you is cluttered with poker chips, cards, and half-drunk mugs of beer.
Sevika’s usually the one in control of any room she enters, and tonight is no exception. The group of men around the table have learned the hard way not to underestimate her, but you can see their eyes lingering on her—the sheer presence she commands is impossible to ignore. You’re the lucky one, sitting in her lap, curled up against her chest as if the world outside of this room doesn’t exist.
You shift slightly, adjusting yourself to get more comfortable. The feel of her strong, broad thighs beneath you is oddly grounding. She’s tense, focused on the game, but she still manages to hold you close, her hand occasionally brushing your side, offering a sense of intimacy even in the midst of the game.
Sevika gives one of the men across the table a sideways glance before placing her cards down with a soft but deliberate motion. “You sure you want to play this hand, old man?” she teases, her voice smooth but carrying an edge that only comes from knowing she has the upper hand.
The man across from her grunts, clearly a little unnerved by her unwavering confidence, but he holds his ground. “I’ve got enough to play,” he replies, leaning forward to stack more chips in the center of the table.
You can feel Sevika’s amusement through the slight tension in her shoulders as she leans back again, her eyes flicking down to you with a playful glint. Her hand moves from your side, lightly resting on your hip, her fingers tracing soft patterns as she waits for the others to take their turn.
“Bored already?” Sevika murmurs in your ear, her lips brushing against the side of your face. You smile at her teasing tone, knowing exactly what she means. The game is exciting, sure, but you find more enjoyment in her subtle touches and the warmth of her body behind you than the cards being dealt.
“Not bored, just… distracted,” you reply with a small smile, your fingers lightly tracing the outline of her hand resting on your waist. Her grip on you tightens ever so slightly, an unspoken answer to your words.
Sevika’s attention is briefly pulled back to the game as another player tries to bluff his way through the round. You can’t help but watch her—how effortlessly she commands the space, how she never hesitates to call anyone out, and how even though she’s surrounded by men trying to best her at cards, she never falters.
The round ends with her winning, as expected. She looks at the man across from her, raising an eyebrow as she scoops up her winnings. “You sure you can handle another round?” she asks with a smug smirk.
The man grumbles, but you can see a hint of respect in his eyes. He knows better than to challenge Sevika, especially when she’s feeling on top of her game.
As the cards are shuffled again, you settle deeper into Sevika’s lap, feeling the warmth of her body against yours. Her scent, a mix of leather and something smoky, fills your senses, and you relax even more into her. It’s moments like this—quiet, simple—that you cherish the most. She might be a fierce fighter, a tough, unyielding presence in a world full of chaos, but when it’s just the two of you, she lets herself be soft in ways you’ve learned to appreciate.
“You’re quiet tonight,” Sevika murmurs, her hand moving gently up your back, tracing small circles. You can feel her eyes on you, her focus unwavering despite the cards in front of her.
“I’m just enjoying being with you,” you reply softly, lifting your head to look at her. “You’re a force to be reckoned with, you know?”
She smirks, her lips curling into a small grin as she leans forward, placing a quick, teasing kiss on your cheek. “I know,” she says, her voice low and satisfied. “And you’re lucky enough to be sitting in my lap while I take all their chips.”
You chuckle at her playful arrogance, but there’s a warmth in her words that makes you feel special. You’re not just another person in the room to her; you’re the one she’s chosen to spend her quiet moments with.
As the game continues, the men around the table grow more and more frustrated. Sevika remains unbothered, her calm, calculating demeanor never faltering. With every round, she rakes in more and more chips, her confidence growing. And all the while, you stay by her side, leaning into her, your presence a constant that grounds her in a way that no one else can.
The night drags on, the game nearing its end. The room is full of laughter, good-natured teasing, and the occasional clink of glass, but it’s you and Sevika who stand out. Even surrounded by chaos, you know where you belong: in her lap, in her arms, and in this quiet, unspoken connection you share.
When the final round comes to a close, Sevika stands up, stretching her long limbs with a satisfied smile. “Guess I’ll take all this and call it a night,” she says, her eyes twinkling with the thrill of victory.
The men around the table groan, but it’s all in good fun. You smile up at her, feeling proud of her, yet content in the simple joy of being near her.
She offers you a hand, pulling you up from her lap with ease. “You ready to head out, or are you staying for more of their company?” she teases.
You grin, slipping your hand into hers. “I think I’ve had enough of their company for tonight. I’m all yours.”
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iisasxia · 3 months ago
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Troublemaker!Reader who gets herself into fights all the time because she refuses to watch someone get bullied. So she stands in between the bully and victim, not bothering to back down and Bakugou can’t help but groan as he finds himself having to deal with it.
Troublemaker!Reader who’s amazing in school so she’s usually out of class helping around the university. One time she volunteered to help clean the windows and while taking notes Bakugou was covered by a shadow, he nearly fell out of his seat when he turned over in confusion only to see reader on the outside of the glass.
Troublemaker!Reader who ran in the heavy rain because she saw an old woman pushing her cart slowly in the rain so she volunteered to help with bags to get her into the car safely. Bakugou scoffing as he watches her soaked figure return to the cover the bus stop offered while they waited to get on.
“Nice job dumbass.”
was that an insult or a compliment?
Troublemaker!Reader who’s completely oblivious to the way she pulls on Bakugou’s heartstrings with the smallest things she does.
She smiles at him? His heart melts. She remembered his favorite drink? His heart melts. She can’t reach something and has to stand on her toes? His heart melts. She bites her bottom lip and scrunches her nose when she’s focused? His heart dissolves.
Did I mention the only reason why she’s a ‘troublemaker’ is cause of the 99 problems she causes for Bakugou? 1 being he can’t control his heart around her so every time she’s too close he puts his hand in her face to push her away.
His hands are clenching his heart as he looks around the corner of the classroom door to see you laughing in your seat as you talk to Jirou.
“She’s gonna be the f*cking death of me.”
he mumbles under his breath, his body on fire because you overheard he didn’t bring lunch and you gave him yours not knowing he was going to pick something up with Kirishima.
Kirishima holds back a laugh.
“She already is.”
poor katsuki, he’s trying his best.
(was listening to “Troublemaker” by Olly Murs and got the idea)
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vampiefemme · 8 months ago
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smut! 18+ below, minors dni.
thinking about ellie accidentally sending you a video of her fingering herself.
the video preview is completely dark, so you have no clue what to expect when you click the play button. you assume it’s another one of her rants - lately she’s taken to sending you clips of herself complaining about her family, work, politics. she’s sent a few videos of her trying new foods while completely obliterated on an edible, too, which you’re kind of hoping for. her eyes look so pretty all droopy and red, and she has the cutest laugh when she’s high.
but oh, no. this is… nothing like that.
you’re lounging in bed, head propped up against a pillow, when you get the notification from ellie and click to your text thread. you hit play on the video, watching with a furrowed brow as the camera moves from darkness - the forest green fabric of ellie’s duvet, you realize - to reveal her room. and it’s a familiar sight; you’ve been there a hundred times. but that’s where the familiarity ends.
because this new camera angle shows ellie naked from the waist down.
she’s flushed, her cheeks tinged the faintest shade of pink. her chest rises and falls in a quick rhythm; the light catches on a smear of wetness on her inner thigh, and you realize with a flutter in your belly that she’d been going at it for a while before she’d pulled out the camera.
“okay, fuck,” ellie pants, her voice a bit tinny through the speakers of your cell phone. she lifts one muscled thigh to her bed, which she’s standing before - right in front of the camera. your mouth goes dry as your eyes flicker over her body: heather grey tank riding up her toned hips, the faintest sheen of sweat on her chest, her thigh flexing as she spreads herself in front of the camera.
“i got close beforehand so i wouldn’t… didn’t wanna be nervous,” she says, avoiding eye contact with her phone. “but i’m - wait. why the fuck am i talking? you’re not supposed to talk in these, are you?”
blood rushes into your cheeks, warming your face until you feel like your skin is about to burn off. you should probably stop watching, shouldn’t you? you should click out of the video, pretend you never opened it in the first place. this is clearly not for you to see.
but you can’t look away.
ellie reaches her hand between her legs, and your stomach warms with arousal. there’s a flutter between your legs that leaves you squeezing your thighs together, seeking pressure.
“oh god,” ellie mutters as her fingers play in her own pussy, the lewd, wet sounds echoing. she slips a finger inside of herself, then two, her eyes fluttering shut as a string of curses leaves her lips.
she starts to pump her fingers, the heel of her hand pressed to her clit, and your breath catches in your throat when she looks up at the camera. you know she’s not really looking at you this way, but you tense up regardless. the look in her eyes is sultry, lustful, hungry.
there’s a growing damp spot on your underwear.
ellie’s getting close; her brows are pinched together in concentration, and each of her moans is more ragged and high-pitched than the last. beneath the thin fabric of her tank, you see her abs tense with her impending orgasm. you bite your lip until you’re sure you taste blood.
she comes with a shuddering cry, bicep flexing as her hand stalls between her legs. strands of auburn hair, darkened with sweat, cling to her freckled forehead. she lowers her leg from the bed and stands upright again, still panting. she reaches for the camera and the video ends.
you’re still staring wide-eyed at your phone when a series of texts come through from ellie.
oh my god
please tell me you didn’t see that
holy fuck i’m an idiot
i’m so sorry
i did not mean to send that to you. holy shit i’m sorry
your chest tightens with sympathy - you can imagine how panicked ellie is on the other line, how utterly ruined her post-orgasm bliss must be.
you type out a quick response: it’s okay. give me a second to reply, alright?
finding a convenient place to prop up your phone, you hook your thumbs over your underwear and tug them off, leaning forward to press record on your phone.
read part two here!
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helaintoloki · 3 months ago
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Can I request something with Five Hargreeves where Five and Lilia gets back to their family after the 7 years (nothing romantic happened between them, just purely platonic), and when he sees the reader for the first time after almost loosing so much hope in seeing her again, he just can’t help but latch onto her and never let go, kissing her all over cause he finally gets to see the love of his life again :,D
a/n: ty for sending in this request anon i really enjoyed writing it <3 this is basically the “good ending” of the subway incident
warnings: fluff, mentions of five and lila but in a platonic way not the bad way
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His lungs feel like they’re on fire as Five pushes himself to continue his sprint to your apartment. It’s been seven years without you, and after almost losing hope of ever seeing you again, all he wanted now was to have you in his arms as proof that he truly was back in his own timeline.
He never should have listened to Lila when she insisted on traveling the subway system in search of a solution to the Cleanse, but he had been desperate to find a way to keep you and his family safe no matter the cost. He didn’t mind having to eat subway rats and sleep in flimsily sleeping bags on dirty platforms for your sake, but with no end in sight the entire thing began to seem futile. What good was putting himself through torture if he could never go back home to you?
Thus, when he found the journal that detailed the way back home, Five did not hesitate to jump on the next subway car and return back to his own timeline. He didn’t feel sorry for practically shoving Lila out of the way as soon as the doors opened, and he didn’t waste a second waiting for her to follow before he was booking it out of the station and down the streets to your apartment. While it would have been faster to just jump there, he didn’t want to risk accidentally placing himself right back where he started, and he didn’t have the patience to wait for Lila to find a car and drop him off herself. Seeing you could not wait, and so he ran.
Though Five has experienced seven painful years of being stuck with Lila in the subway, only four hours have passed since you last spoke to him on the phone to discuss your evening plans. He was meant to be at your apartment thirty minutes ago so you could enjoy a lovely dinner at a nice restaurant, and yet here you were sitting painfully board at your kitchen island watching the minutes tick by. You knew he wasn’t exactly keen on eating out when he’d rather stay at home and spend quality time with you, but surely he wouldn’t stoop so low as to miss your date entirely.
“Screw this,” you huff in indigence as you snatch your keys from the counter and grab your previously discarded purse from its spot on the couch. “He’ll just have to meet me there.”
After putting on your coat, you fling the door open only to met with the sight of a breathless Five, his fist raised in the air as if he was about to knock before you beat him to it. He looks completely disheveled with his mussed up hair and wrinkled suit, his eyes blown wide as he swallows down a big gulp of air and takes in your features. You look more beautiful than he ever thought possible, and he can’t believe that he’s really here standing in front of you after being trapped in a time travel hellscape for seven years with his idiot brother’s idiot wife.
“Five?” You utter gently, brows furrowed in confusion and concern as you reach out to place a gentle hand upon his cheek. He’s warm to the touch, most likely a side effect from having sprinted for three blocks, but it worries you nonetheless. He nearly melts into your palm as his eyes flutter shut in contentment at the feel of your skin against his own. He’s missed this, and he’s missed you. “Where have you been, I was just about to leave without you. You okay?”
You jump at his sudden movement when Five practically throws himself into your arms. You lose your footing and tumble back into your apartment, and it takes you a moment to process what’s happening before you tightly return the embrace. You know Five loves you, but he’s never been so forward with affection like this, so his behavior takes you by surprise.
“Sweetheart, I’ve never been better,” he breathes out in relief as he takes in your warmth and your smell and your touch and everything good about you. He never thought he could miss anyone as much as he missed you, and Five swore in that moment he’d never take you for granted again.
“Are you sure you’re really my Five and not a total stranger?” You question teasingly, poking fun at his uncharacteristically tender behavior. While normally you would be met with a biting and sarcastic response in return, you are instead given a passionate kiss as he cups your face in his hands and desperately pulls you closer to him. Your startled gasp is swallowed by his lips as he deepens the kiss and pushes you further into the apartment before shutting the door with his foot.
“Five,” you manage to breathe out after he pulls away for air, your face hot and your mind frazzled as you struggle to comprehend the sequence of events that have just occurred. “Five, we’re going to be late.”
“I couldn’t care less,” he replies with a faint smile, reaching out to carefully tuck your hair behind your ear. “I missed you.”
“Missed me?” You repeat in confusion. “You saw me this morning. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’ll explain everything in time,” he assures you carefully, “but right now I just want to enjoy this moment with you.”
With a faint smile gracing your lips, you know you can’t argue with that. You probably will miss your dinner reservations, but none of that matters as Five pulls you in close and showers you with seven years worth of pent-up affection.
You could really get used to this side of him.
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