As much as I’d love to ignore the painful reality of my life… I have no more escapes, no way to abscond or obscure anymore, and I fear for the worst.
Continuously feeling like the genie in everyone’s lives, watching everyone who touches me have their wishes granted and their life bettered while I sit and rot away in a dark cave wishing and hoping for someone to do the same…
I just feel like I can do it anymore. I can’t sit back and watch everyone get everything they’d dreamed of when I haven’t ever even had a taste of it.
Kind of related to that post I made a couple days ago but I love you people who make “odd” animal-like noises, especially people who don’t do that on purpose, I love you people who growl when they’re frustrated, I love you people who mimic the animals around them, I love you people who bare their teeth when feeling threatened/on edge, I love you people who make purring noises when they’re happy/satisfied
i feel like social media has warped people’s perception of conflict in relationships by making you think that any minor fuck up is the end of the world and everyone is secretly a narcissist manipulator with sinister motives, because actually in real life you just say “i’m sorry, that was a bad thing, i shouldn’t have done that” and the other person says “thank you for apologising” and then that’s the end of it
all of us strangers (2023), adam & harry / portrait of a boy with grief, wale ayinla / sonnet of the wreath of roses, federico garcia lorca / an oresteia, anne carson / dancing with ghosts, hania rani & patrick wilson / every poem is a child of love, marina tsvetaeva / meditation: my grief, the sun, sanna wani
inexperienced boys that are shy. who freeze up when you climb on their lap, who don’t realize how hard they are until your cunt brushes over their clothed bulge and they whimper, a sound they’ve never heard themselves make before.
inexperienced boys who feel like they’re losing their mind when you do it again, harder this time, and they can feel the heat of your cunt through the layers of clothes. can’t stop his hips from jerking, involuntarily rutting into you because he can’t get enough of how good it feels. it’s overwhelming in the best possible way, so much so that it’s a struggle kiss you back properly, trying so hard to stay sane.
inexperienced boys who are so embarrassed when they cum in their pants just from rubbing against you, their pants a creamy, sticky mess, blushing and stuttering out apologies as if it wasn’t the hottest thing you’ve ever seen <33