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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years ago

Note

Hello i would kill for some awkward Connor attempting to comfort Chris during training please and thank you

Follow-up to this piece from yesterday

CW: Pet whump, implied whump of a minor, bruising, some dehumanizing language, BBU, facility whump, creepy comfort, The Moral Standards of Monsters, some implied conditioning due to ableism (blink-and-you’ll-miss-it)

“Hey, Manning.”

Connor looks up from his lunch - he’s at his desk in his training room, a sandwich, bag of chips, and bottle of his iced coffee set out in front of him while he finishes up paperwork from the last trainee’s fitness reports - and sighs. Fucking Luke goddamn Petrus. “Yeah?”

For a second, his stomach flips. Linda swore up and down that the complaint would be anonymous, and Connor isn’t the only person in the hallway who has brought up the screaming being… irritating… but still.

Luke is Director Renford’s favorite in a big way, her loyal henchman, and he can make a handler’s life a living hell if he wants to.

Luke leans against the open doorway, giving him a bright smile. Above the expression, though, Luke’s blue eyes stay cold as ice. Like the Director, Connor thinks sometimes. Two fucking peas in a pod, and Connor’s always a little bit on the outside.

Lately, though, he’s been feeling kind of grateful he’s on the outskirts. The Director’s approval is something everyone works for, but having her focus on you too long and too thoroughly sounds as terrifying as her anger.

“I just got called up to a meeting with Renford.”

Renford. Like they’re buddies. Like he’s equals with her. Connor keeps his mouth shut, but he wonders how the Director would react if she knew he calls her Renford when she’s not right in front of him. “Good for you. I don’t see why that should affect my lunch break.”

“The meeting could last a few hours. I know you’ve got the afternoon off from trainee work. Would you mind keeping an eye on one of mine? He’s just out of a week in solitary, so he’s needy as fuck.”

Connor perks up a little at that. Needy trainee and unscheduled afternoon sounds like just the pick-me-up he needs today. “He need any training work?”

“Nah. Do whatever you want with him.” Luke gives Connor a wink. “He’s got some top notch fucking flexibility. Just saying. You can twist him into pretzels. Tell him he’s being good and he’ll do it all himself. Kid’s eager as fuck now that we’re past the halfway point.”

Kid?

Connor swears internally but keeps his expression carefully the same. “What do you mean, kid, Luke? Wait a sec-”

“I’ll bring him in, hold on!” Luke’s already gone from the doorway.

Connor has a sinking feeling of realization that Luke didn’t just randomly decide to leave a trainee with him. He must’ve figured out who put the fucking complaint in. And he knows that Connor hates the screaming, if he knows that.

Which means…

Luke reappears, and sure enough, the little redheaded trainee who is the cause of all the wailing and sobbing is right beside him.

No weights hanging from his hands this time, but there are deep red marks around his wrists and bruises at his upper arms just below his sleeves that suggest he’s done plenty of training work this morning, whatever Luke says.

Jesus, this kid is eerily beautiful. Pale skin, flushed in the aftermath of tears, with a smattering of freckles all over like constellations of stars. His hair’s that rare shining strawberry blond, with eyebrows pale enough to make him seem faintly inhuman. Connor wonders exactly which piece of shit with a thing for teenagers put the order in.

He wants to make sure he doesn’t vote for the guy.

Not that Connor Manning votes.

But maybe he’ll start, and then start purposefully voting for someone else. That's probably way more effort than he'll ever put in to anything that isn't work or Socks, but it feels kind of nice to think about it.

The trainee keeps his eyes carefully down on the floor. Connor notes he’s not even wearing the shock collar any longer - just your average band of black leather, buckled at the side, no padlock. Not only not being shocked, or not needing it, but already far enough along not to try and remove his own collar.

“Luke. I’ve told you how I feel about the underagers-”

“Yeah, and I’ve told you that you can judge me when you're an angel, numbnuts. You’re not better than me. You just have different victims.”

“Oh, the Director would have a shit-fit hearing you call the trainees victims.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I’m the only one who really grasps exactly what it is we do here, Manning. I just also happen to enjoy it. Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life, right?"

“Go fuck yourself, Petrus. I enjoy my job just fine.” Why is he defensive about this? Connor doesn’t quite understand the surge of irritation within him. Why does he give a fuck what Luke goddamn Petrus has to say about anything, anyway?

“Yeah, for now you do. We’ll see how it goes. I’ve been at this gig for a long time, I see the ones who flame out, and you’re one of them. Anyway, I’ve got to go meet with Renford, I’ll be back by three. If you get tired of him, just put him on the mat and I’ll pick him up when I’m done.”

“Yeah, okay.” Connor frowns, pushing himself to his feet. “I do like my job, Petrus.”

“For now. Bet I’ll be the only person here totally unsurprised when you quit one day.”

“I’m not going to quit.”

“I’ll bet you a thousand damn dollars you do, and I’ll raise the bet to fifteen hundred that it’s over your fucking conscience making a reappearance.”

“Don’t have one."

Luke just sighs, and gives Connor a patronizing little smirk before he turns and leaves. The trainee looks over his shoulder to watch Luke go, pleading with his eyes but not saying a word. The door shuts, and Connor and the trainee are alone.

Connor clears his throat, picking up the sandwich but finding he doesn’t really want it any longer. “What’s your number, trainee?”

The boy’s eyes snap back to him, briefly, before they drop to the floor. Connor notes with vague professional detachment that they’re red-rimmed. He’s been crying again, but then, when isn’t this fucking trainee crying?

When he’s screaming instead, Connor’s thoughts answer him.

God, he wishes these trainees didn’t get to him so much. He can’t talk to anyone about it, either, word will get out Connor Manning has regrets. Questioning the company is a good way to find yourself on the wrong end of a shock collar.

“223499, sir,” The boy says. His voice is low and soft, and each number and word is deliberately placed, as if he’s carefully pacing himself as he speaks. “Designation… Romantic-”

“Yeah, I knew that already. That’s all Luke does.” Connor leans his chin on his hand, looking the kid over. There’s solid muscle in that kid, he thinks, legacy of whatever life he lived before. It’s wasting away under the carefully calibrated malnourishment they’re all subjected to, but the memory of strength is in there, still. An easy, unconscious grace that didn’t have to be taught. “You’ve already done training work today?”

Those green eyes flash up at him again, nervous. Frightened. The boy shifts from foot to foot, then goes still. His fingers twitch before he pauses that, too. Connor watches it all with a kind of slightly repulsed interest. “Yes, sir. But… Handler Petrus said that… that if you want, you can-... can test me-”

“I don’t want,” Connor says heavily, cutting him off with a gesture. The boy’s mouth snaps shut instantly. “Not in the mood.”

There’s an expression of genuine confusion - when is a handler not in the mood? - that flits across the boy’s face. It’s a look of such comedic bafflement that Connor ends up laughing, shaking his head. He doesn’t even put his sexy, dark laugh on, but just snort-laughs naturally, before he walks over to the kid, watching him pull into himself, shoulders hunched.

“Relax, kid. I’m not going to hurt you.”

The kid’s nose wrinkles. It’s adorable. “But… all you do… is hurt us.”

Luke’s fucking technique, Connor thinks. Luke’s trainees don’t forget anything he’s taught them, to be sure, but they never quite learn how to act like they’re in love with it, either. Connor can turn out a trainee who genuinely thinks he’s in love. Luke turns out trainees who hate everything they can’t stop themselves from doing.

Some perspectives are into that, he supposes. Connor thinks he’d rather have the act.

“Yeah, well, I’m not going to do that today. Come on,” Connor says, and his voice gentles a little. “I’ve got plenty to keep myself busy with. Why don’t you lay down on the mat and get some sleep while I work?” He puts a hand on the boy’s shoulder, feeling him trembling slightly through the thin cloth of his white trainee t-shirt. The boy moves when he’s nudged, carefully stepping across the room, tense as a wire about to snap.

“Are you-... are you going to, to, to, to, um-” The boy flinches back from an expected punishment when he stammers. "Silence is, is better than stammering, try again, silence is better than-... try again." The kid mutters to himself, takes a deep breath, tries again. "Are you... going to... give me a pill?"

Connor pulls his hand back, frowning. Now it’s his turn to look confused.

What the fuck is even going on with this kid?

“Nah. I don't even keep them in my training room. No worries, kid.” He pitches his voice low, soothing, reassuring. “The only thing I intend to do is finish up some papers, go take a smoke break outside, and then come back and get set up for my next rounds at seven before I head out. This is a real break. Okay? I’m not even interested in whatever it is Handler Petrus is doing with you. I just want to do my job.”

The kid looks at him. He’s almost always seen him drugged out of his gourd, barely able to focus on anything not right in front of his face. Right now, though, there’s a sense that the boy is considering his words, actually able to think about them. “Yes, sir. I can-... I, I can lay down?”

“Yeah, go for it.” Connor waves his hand again, moving back to his desk.

“Thank you, sir.” The kid’s gratitude is pathetic. Connor has to give Luke that, he does know how to make a trainee say thank you for just about anything. Connor’s method takes more work to get to that than Luke’s.

But Connor doesn’t have to drug his trainees to do it. And he doesn’t work with kids.

Shit. Maybe I am going to wind up with a conscience. Handlers get fired over that.

Or worse.

After a pause, watching him go, the kid kneels down, then lays down on his stomach, making as much contact with the heated mat as he can. There’s a soft exhale, something almost like contentment. Connor watches those tensed, probably painful muscles slowly relax. His bare feet start to rub against each other, back and forth, back and forth.

There’s a blanket nearby, and the boy hesitantly grabs at it, pulls it over himself. Breathes out, eyes fluttering shut as warmth surrounds him utterly for what’s probably the first time in a while. Or at least warmth that doesn’t come with certain conditions.

Connor’s eyes trace the line of the boy’s jaw - there’s a bruise there, too, like a thumb pressed too hard into delicate skin. Coppery eyelashes lay flat, long enough to just brush his cheek. His hair falls over his forehead and eyes.

It’s like looking at a fucking painting.

“Jesus, you’re pretty as hell, aren’t you?”

The boy’s eyebrows furrow, briefly, but he doesn’t open his eyes or pull back from the mat. He curls up tighter under the blanket, disappearing up to his chin.

Connor turns back to his work, filling out a questionnaire. He’s still working at it when he hears, just barely, the boy’s soft reply to his question.

“I, I, I wish I wasn’t.”

@burtlederp @finder-of-rings @endless-whump @astrobly @newandfiguringitout @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @eatyourdamnpears

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angleicblossom · 4 years ago

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Levi Ackerman One shot <3

im so so so sorry its this long i got totally carried away

More soft Levi x sad oc because I feel the need to project my own feelings into a situation that will never really happen 😊.

Another day of training finished at around 7pm, I slowly made my way into the mess hall to have a meal before heading to bed, not like I was very hungry anyways.

These last few weeks, maybe months, I hadn't been feeling myself, not like I was a very outgoing person to begin with, but I at least tried to socialise with the others but now it feels like a chore so now I don’t even bother, I just wake up go through with my day, eat if I can and then sleep and recently it's been making me frustrated with myself causing me to snap more than I usually do during training and I think people are starting to notice.

As one of the first I was able to grab a plate with food on it quickly and slide into the end of one of the benches in the bottom corner. I picked around at the meat, vegetables and potatoes moving it around a little, not really having an appetite. A few people slid into bench alongside me and in front of me, it was Hange, Erwin, Eren and Captain Levi, they made small talk around me, I didn’t pay much attention to them and then I decided to get rid of my untouched food.

“Oi, where do you think you are going Kasey?” Levi voices called out and stopped me in my tracks and look back at him but avoiding his eye contact that he was sternly holding with me “I'm... uh not feeling the best” is all I could muster up as an excuse “well maybe if you ate a little you would feel better, you can't sleep on an empty stomach, right Hange” Commander Erwin commented and Hange nodded along spooning meat into her mouth, I sigh internally but put on a smile and nod whilst making my way back to the corner to wait them out but Levi grabs my wrist causing me to pull and resist a little on instinct but he ignores it “Eren move down so Kasey can sit next to me” Levi ordered and Eren tilts his head but moves anyways “can’t have a solider skipping meals” he says bluntly and nods his head towards the plate and so I sit down next to Levi, a little too close to the point of our thighs touching but he doesn’t seem fazed by it and continues eating his half eaten food along with the others, I can still wait them out.

I poke around it some more and eat small bites of the vegetables for another 10 minutes and by then it was only me and Levi left at the table, he lets out a loud sigh next to me and pushes his plate away from him and takes a sip of his tea “are you really not going to eat that” he turned his face to me and look at me then the plate with furrowed eyebrows and I just shrugged “ Captain, I don’t feel too-” “yeah yeah you don’t feel good, of course” he rolled his eyes and didn’t even let me finish making a bit of guilt fill me, he was only looking out for me “anyway your dismissed I hope to see you eat more” I nodded and never moved quicker to get out of the mess hall with Levi’s stare burning me in the back.

I made it to my room which I thankfully didn’t share with anyone, I unbuttoned the top two buttons of my shirt and undid all my straps and took them off to try feel a bit more relaxed, I took a long shower I think I was in there for about 25 minutes maybe more and I changed into a tank top and some shorts due to the summer heat that was creeping up on us. I brushed out my damp hair so there were no knots after doing this it was around 9pm and I was now laying on my bed staring at the ceiling when I suddenly heard a knock at my door making me snap my head towards the door and then it began to open.

“Who is it” I say, trying to see the person entre “Its Levi” He answers as he continues to push the door open with his foot because his hands were holding two cups of tea? I rush up to help him and open the door then close it behind him “is everything okay, Captain?” he just looks me up and down, nods and carefully sets one of the cups of tea on my nightstand next to my bed and then takes a seat on a spare chair at the end of my single bed. I felt a little awkward seeing him like this, he had a black long sleeved fitting top on, and some black sweatpants and he came here in his socks too, I looked around the room not keeping my focus on him “the tea is for you” he nods towards it and takes a sip of his own “I added some tea herbs that go well with the black tea that helps to calm you” He continued on and it was sort of...cute hearing him talk about something other than killing titans or anything titan related really, I smiled lightly and took the tea in my hand and took a sip, testing it out I had never had black tea never mind herbs.

I can feel Levi watching me intently as I remove the cup from my lips carefully “do you like it” I thought about it for a few moments, it was a little bitter with a tint of citrus to it as well “I like it, Ive never tasted something like this” I shift my eyes to him and take another drink before sitting it down and Levi keeps his in his lap, holding it in his unusual way. I was still confused on why he was here, and I wasn’t sure if he was going to tell me, I looked at him again and he was looking down into his teacup and swirling the tea around “I think I was a little harsh on you or maybe too blunt” he says out randomly and I'm shocked by him expressing this to me “oh no Captain please-” he cut me off again “just call me Levi there’s no need for the formalities, I've been watching you here and there during training and noticed how you aren’t doing as well as you used to do” so someone did notice, but Levi was the last person I would expect to notice a random cadet feeling blue about her life, I didn’t know how to answer him so I just looked down at my bare legs in front of me and he lets out a small sigh and piches his nose “Look.. I’m.... worried about you Kasey” after he said this, I feel the heat rise to my cheeks and try to hide it with my hair and grab the teacup and drink some more of the tea to distract myself, he coughs a little and shuffles around “I don’t want you to get injured or injure yourself if you aren’t looking after yourself here”.

He gets up and makes his way to sit next me on the bed and moves my hair from my face to behind my ear and I move my face away from his hand quickly after this and furrow my eyebrows “Kasey...” “sorry I'm just not used to being touched” he was quick to answer “don't apologise” I just nodded “are you.. Enjoying yourself being a cadet, Kasey?” this question makes me look up at him and he continues “is it that you don’t want to be here anymore? Are you regretting your decision picking the scouts?” he questioned, sounding a bit sad and I bite my lip, it's not that I don’t enjoy it I just don’t know how to, I fiddle with my fingers not knowing how to answer him “don't stay silent, I want to help you”

I look at him with tears starting to swell up in my eyes, but I don’t let them fall out of my eyes “it’s...it’s not that, Levi I, I can’t feel anything good, I never feel happiness or relief or anything after I finish my training, I... I can't even talk to anyone because I don’t know how or what to say and it feels so exhausting even trying to interact with others, all I would do is let them down, there’s just nothing for me here... or anywhere, sometimes I wish to disappear, so I don’t have to live like this, I want to be able to feel all the good emotions but it's like... they just don’t exist inside me anymore and I don’t know how to get them back and I feel so alone here like no one understands this and I can't explain how I feel it's not like I should be this sad right? but I can tell you... I don’t regret joining the scouts” I put my face into hands and let tears out and I try to stifle my cries “H-how can I help you Kasey” he leans into me, I wipe my eyes and sit up straight and look into his eyes, why is he here.

Without thinking I put my head into his lap and fling my legs up onto my pillow so I'm lying on my side staring at the door, I lay my hands on his knees and he tenses up a little “just... stay here with me, Levi?” I ask more than say and I feel him stretch over me to set him teacup next to mine and sit upright again and he starts to run his hands from the top of my scalp to the bottom of my almost dry hair “okay... I will” I sigh with a bit of comfort knowing I won't be alone, for tonight at least, “Levi... why did you come?” his hands pause for a moment then returns to their actions “Honestly, I'm not sure, I just had a feeling I had to come see you, but I must admit Kasey... I've always been a bit more than... interested in you and I didn’t want to leave a bad impression since we’ve only spoken a few times” I went wide eyed for a moment, more than interested? What did that mean? I didn’t give him an answer only feeling a bit of surprise hearing this from the Captain, I sit up and look at his lips then his eyes “what do you think of me, Kasey?” I didn’t know how to answer or what I wanted to say to him.

I lean in and close my eyes and Levi’s hand snakes up to cup my cheek and our lips touch and I furrow my eyebrows and lean in more, putting one of my hands on his lap and another on his chest. Levi begins to take the lead of the kiss a little more, tilting his head and with his other hand he pushed my hair away from my shoulder, I try lean in even more and Levi pulls away “you were almost pushing me over” he let out a small breathless laugh and rubbed his hair, I blush at how in the moment I got, and I mumble a sorry to him and catch my breath whilst looking at my lap, I look back up at Levi and he’s already looking at me, “what was that for?” I nibbled on my lip again and looked away to the side “I didn’t know what to say” Levi grinned a little “I’m glad we’re feeling the same way... sort of... don’t worry, I might not be able to bring your emotions back per say but... I can try show you that no one wants you to disappear and that you are never alone” he ducked down to look into my eyes that I was avoiding “okay?” He reached for my hand and lay his on top of mine and I blushed again “okay” I whispered back with a smile.

“it’s pretty late, aren't you tired?” I shrug and fumble with my fingers “a little, are you?” “a little” he replied back “that single bed looks a little cramped for the both of us, would you like to come back to my room?.... you don’t have to” “that would be nice” I answered without a second thought on that, sharing a double bed with Levi? Yes please.

We both head out down the very quiet, cold and dimly lit corridors, turning right once and left once a few moments after the right turn before reaching Levi’s office, I've been in his office many times delivering notes and other things that Hange wanted to give him but always sent me, he opens the door and lets me walk in first then comes in after then closes and locks the door “this way” he says and takes me to another door that is where his bedroom must be. When I entre there is a big double bed with white silk sheets and a wooden headboard in the middle of the room “come on” he says quietly and opens the sheets for me to hop into the left side, I quickly snuggle into the sheets and bring them up to my nose, the smell of Levi surrounding me, he goes around and takes off his top, I couldn’t help but watch his back muscles move as he done the action I blush a little and look up at him once he turned around and gets into the bed with me and I suddenly feel a lot warmer than I already was “are you okay with this?” he whispered “yes” I whisper back and giggle a little at our hushed tone “good” he moves towards me and pulls me into him, and I let him, totally indulged in his warmth and scent, he rests his head on my head with his arms wrapped around me “get some sleep” “you too” I say and put my scrunched up hands on his chest and place a small kiss in the middle of his chest and drift to sleep

#levi attack on titan #snk levi #levi x reader #shingeki no kyoujin levi #attack on titan #attack on titan fiction #aot #levi ackerman fluff #fluff #aot smut #smut #so much fluff #soft levi #levi ackerman #levi x oc #levi one shot #aot oneshots #oneshot

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bytedykes · 4 years ago

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hEYYY tell me more about your domestic malec hcs bc theyre excellent 👌👌

YESSS of course <333

-im a firm believer that in mundane aus alec owns one of those hair shaving/clipping whatever kits and cuts his hair himself (hc brought to u by my memories of my dad shaving my brothers’ hair in the middle of the kitchen hjksf) so he. god i dont know the right terminology. he would help magnus keep the shaved parts of his hair crisp and clean kwjehfds and also they’d make a day out of re-dyeing magnus’ streaks !! basically just them doing magnus’ hair together idk!!!<3

-magnus leaves the door to the bathroom open when hes showering or doing his makeup routines and he makes a big show out of pretending it was TOTALLY on accident and he is just SO SURPRISED when alec joins him! truly! this is completely unexpected! (alec smile-scoffs and rolls his eyes and shuts magnus up with kisses. every time) (it never gets old tho fhjsdk)

-they have laundry baskets in every room in the loft because alec has the unfortunate habit of randomly stripping off his socks or jacket and leaving them around kwjfhds

-chairman sucks up to alec more but he sleeps exclusively on magnus’ side of the bed so they’re lowkey in constant competition for the affections of their cat fkjsdhks <3

-alec doesn’t like bananas unless they’re perfectly unicolored and it drives magnus up the wall because “its a TINY SPOT of brown its not ROTTEN alexander its just a little bruised because you DROPPED IT” so magnus is the primary consumer of bananas in this household

-these are all so random asdlfaksdjfsd

-magnus doesn’t like washing the dishes so when its his turn he always spells them straight into the dishwasher, or sometimes just immediately clean and shelved. which makes alec fondly exasperated because HE still has to wash them down and put them in and out of the dishwasher by hand

-the “BANE” nameplaque by the ringer? doorbell? buzzer? i havent been in an apartment building since like 2016 sorry sdjkfskdf. but yeah that thing gets changed to “LIGHTWOOD-BANE” :))

-magnus has days where he just needs to listen to the most teenage 90s pop music and he dances to it around the apartment and everything and that is why alec has been caught humming britney spears lol.

-whenever they listen to music magnus pretends he knows the current musician personally and they both know he very much doesnt but alec goes along with it anyway and its a fun little game they have idk !!!!

-magnus will occasionally fall asleep in weird places with the chairman. like you know those pics that are of cats sleeping in the most uncomfortable looking poses? yeah thats magnus bane and his cat curled up on top of him

-idk if my family is just weird but u know how sometimes u pick up ur cat and pretend its gun... yeah they do that fhsdjk. “pew pew” -the high warlock of brooklyn, holding a disgruntled feline like a weapon (no cats are harmed ofc)

-ive already said this i think, but them going “MY HUSBAND!!!” at any opportunity!! like they’ll be at the store and magnus will be like “hey do you want green or red peppers?” and alec will say “one second let me just check with my husband<3” and walk to the next aisle and call magnus and ask him what peppers he should get and theyre both trying to keep a straight face but end up grinning and laughing the entire time and uh YEAH THEY’RE DORKS <3

-they have a table but they only use the 2 chairs right next to each other so they can bump shoulders and just be very close fhjdskds I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FUCK

-theyd go to a pottery class or smth together and spend the entire time poking fun at each other hgjdfkjwhfdsfjdjs

-sometimes they are so dramatically fake-mad at each other and like <3 thats love baby... like for example one of them will forget to hang up the towel after they shower and then the other will arrange it very carefully on their side of the bed and when the perpetrator finds it they arranger will laugh to themselves smugly,,, imaginary point system if you know what i mean fhsjdfsd

yeah thats what i have for now!! i love them 🥺🥰

#BIG UWU TYSM FOR SENDING ME THIS 🥰🥰🥰#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #asks #ftag #hcs #sh #ramble tag #misc

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silverandarsenic-hcs · 4 years ago

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Hey, if requests are still open, how do you think the ghouls (and papas if you're in the mood!) would react/behave around a s/o who has to work from home (because of huge social anxiety and burn out), thank you x)

Hello there! This was written way back then by @oriharaobito ! The actual ask got eaten but we had it copy and pasted above! Enjoy! - Rosie

Dewdrop: Probably the most active of all the ghouls, he’ll probably come annoy you while you’re trying to work often. He doesn’t understand that you have work to do and will think “being home = available to do whatever”. You’re gonna have to distract him with like… colouring pages, or a video game, or tell him he needs to go hang out with friends. He’ll protest and say he wants to spend time with you. He knows he can’t drag you out of the house unless you’re in the mood, so that means he’s gotta stay home with you if he wants your attention. That doesn’t make him any less energetic, though. Don’t expect to get a lot of work done unless you’re gonna seriously lay it on him that you can’t just stop working to entertain him. He’ll get the message… eventually.

Aether: Respects your space, if you’re in your home office he’s not likely to bug you. Totally willing to go do his own thing while you work. Sometimes if you ask he’ll sit with you while you work and play guitar so you have some background noise, or he’ll make light conversation. Probably the most prone to making you take breaks if he thinks you’ve been working too long, though. Will drag you out to the kitchen for dinner, or maybe go sit outside for a breather. He knows work is important, but so is play. You can go back to work later.

Mountain: Gonna have to figure out a schedule for work calls/quiet time vs when he gets to play drums at home. Personally I’m not averse to randomly listening to someone play drums but… not everyone would be a fan. Also respects your work space and doesn’t mind giving you some quiet time if you need it. When he feels like you need to take a break he’d probably knock on the doorframe and present you with a mug of tea or coffee or hot chocolate… whatever you prefer. That or a little snack. Or he’d pop in to say, “Y’know, it’s about 1, which is normally lunch time… I don’t wanna eat alone, so…” Is too cute when asking to say no to.

Swiss: Like Dew, probably a little annoying. He wants to sit in your workspace with you, and he’ll be pretty quiet, but he’s so touchy. Playing with your hair, kissing your neck, wanting to hold your hand, sitting there and gently pushing your chair. He’s silently annoying. You can give him exasperated sighs and eye rolls and huffs galore, but it’ll just make him smile and chuckle. Eventually you’re either gonna have to give into his pestering, or politely remind him your work is important. If you go with the latter he’s gonna pout and ask, “What? I’m not?” earning him another sigh. He’s kidding, and you know that, but there’s really no getting out of showing him he’s important to… He won’t tease you all the time because he’s fine to entertain himself, but sometimes he can’t help but pester you into taking a break.

Rain: Finally, someone who can sit in your office and keep you company quietly, AND without bothering you. He’s going to find something of his own to work on to keep him busy, he might even put earbuds in to work. Much more prone to losing track of time, though, and sitting there working for hours on end with no break. You’re going to have to set reminders or alarms for breaks or lunch. Sometimes when he isn’t sitting quietly working on his own thing with you, he’ll come in to get you to take a break and take a nap with him. He’ll argue that a good nap in the middle of the day could make you more productive. Don’t fact check him (or me) though, it’s probably best to just give in. Probably also not the most social, so stay home for however long you want.

Cirrus: Responsible time management queen. Definitely prone to reminding you to take breaks to stretch, or have a snack or lunch, or some tea, or a nap… just wants you to take good care of your body. Your mind, too! She’ll get you a puzzle or something to do when you have some downtime. Or she’ll find you on a break and say, “You know what would be fun? If we cleaned the kitchen! Or did laundry!” And it’s not in a condescending way or to make you feel like you’ve been putting off chores. It’s just… something she can do to spend time with you. She wants to do the dishes with you, or fold laundry with you, or squeeze the dish soap bottle in front of you guys so it makes all those little pretty bubbles. Your work is important, so she won’t bother you when you’re focused. But when you have a moment, she’s gonna pounce on the opportunity to do something domestic with you.

Cumulus: You’ve been working pretty diligently, in the office most of the day. There has been some noise in the kitchen, but nothing you decided warranted investigation. Until, hours later, you definitely think that is the smell of something burning. When you slide into the kitchen (damn socks on tile) there is Cumulus, her cute apron has been made a complete mess, holding a tray of cookies in the chaos that was formerly called a functional kitchen. Flour and cookie dough are on every available surface, dishes piled high in the sink and the mixer still on the counter with plenty of cookie dough left in the bowl. Her sheepish smile makes you feel bad for wanting to get angry for a moment. “I just thought it’d be nice to make you a snack! You were so focused, I didn’t want to bother you, but I wanted to get you to take a break, maybe, so I thought I’d make cookies…” She’s going on and on about it, and you can’t help but snag a taste of the cookie dough out of the bowl. “I’m sorry if they taste bad, or that the kitchen’s a mess, or-” You cut her off before she can make any more apologies, because the cookie dough is so good, and she’s just as sweet - if not more. You take a break and settle down at the table with your new snacks and a chatty ghoul. Work (and cleaning up the kitchen) can wait a bit. Cookies are best fresh out of the oven.

Papa I: Home office buddies! You can both sit and work quietly in the same room. I think he might fall asleep in his chair sometimes, though. Try not to leave him there, it’s bad for his spine. Wake him up and you can both have some tea, or maybe sit and talk or have lunch. Sometimes he even has enough energy even to take a little walk with you when the weather is nice. When he does go out he makes sure you really want to stay home and work by yourself. Why not come work in his office for a day? Or work outside if you can? A change of scenery is always nice. You’re sure you want to stay home? Alright, but please make sure not to work for hours at a time. He’ll have sticky notes on his desk with the clergy reminding him to call you to make sure you’re getting adequate breaks. Or he’ll have a ghoul remind him to call you, or if he ends up being in the middle of something and can’t call, you’re getting a call with a ghoul on the end saying, “Papa requested I check with you to make sure you’re taking a break from your work at this time.” You can lie to the ghoul if you want, but would you really wanna lie to Papa? Might as well come back to what’s at your desk later.

Papa II: I know he’s a party animal and everything, but he’s also a pretty serious guy. You’d probably be the one to distract him from work before he distracts you. Early riser, he’s on that grind for the clergy from dawn to dusk. More prone to leaving the house to work, But he’ll leave you a little note each day before he leaves. When he is home, he’ll be somewhere in the house doing his own thing. Might sit down in your office if he’s feeling particularly friendly that day. If he thinks you need to take a break, whatever it may be for (wink wink nudge nudge) the possibility of getting out of it is slim to none. Like I said, pretty serious. Definitely the most prone to performing some not safe for work acts when he is feeling up to messing with you. Good thing is, you work from home. I don’t think he’d care either way, though.

Papa III: Has the same dirty mind as his older brother, but is laying on the charms instead of getting right to it. He wants to woo you away from your work. He’s showering you with compliments, telling you that you’re so gorgeous you shouldn’t have to waste the day working. He’s probably prone to occasionally dragging you away to go out to lunch. Somewhere quiet and private because he knows you probably aren’t one for big crowds or busy places. He likes to work but he also likes to play, he doesn’t take his own job seriously so he’s going to try to convince you to have the same mindset. You can get your work done most days, but you’ve definitely got a break or two in the middle of the day that’s all about Papa.

Cardinal Copia/Papa IV: He’s probably got about the same work ethic as you. Works for a reasonable amount of time each day, sometimes he forgets to take breaks or eat, and at the end of the day you can find him on the couch doing nothing because he did stuff all day and now he doesn’t wanna do stuff anymore. That’s alone, though. When you’re there, his day is immediately better. You can both complain to each other about work stuff, you can whip up something in the kitchen together, and you can sit on the couch in pajamas eating and watching trashy tv and roasting it. If he wasn’t currently in charge of the entire clergy, he’d likely work from home more often. But alas, his job is extremely important, and so most days he’s out of the house. Not prone to texting you or leaving notes, but he will do something more random that you’ll see. He’ll send something to your work e-mail. A sweet note, or a meme that his young-but-still-old-kinda man brain can grasp. Or sometimes he opens the window to send you something, gets distracted, and one of his rats runs across the keyboard while he’s turned away and you receive an e-mail that just says: “efjsksf’;d;;’;;..;]’.l;.” which is hilarious and makes you laugh for 10 minutes until you’re wheezing and maybe crying a little. Laugh breaks are the best breaks.

- @oriharaobito

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kingswriting · 4 years ago

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30 Day Writing Challenge

hey everyone! i’m trying to challenge myself to get back into writing, and i’d like to challenge everyone to do it with me! you don’t have to start on a certain day - just jump in whenever you want!

Day 1: Write for the duration of one song. Do that again for another song. Or don’t. Or do it again for a whole playlist. It’s totally up to you! Don’t think or plan what you’re going to write. Just write. Stop the second the song ends.

Day 2: Find an image that really speaks to you. Write something based on it. It can be an image of anything, whether it be fanart for a specific fandom or just a picture of scenery.

Day 3: Find a one sentence prompt from tumblr or pinterest and write a piece about it. Length doesn’t matter.

Day 4: Find a book in your home and flip to one of the following pages: 28, 106, 242. Find one of the following sentences: 10th, 23rd, 38th. Use that sentence to write a piece.

Day 5: I read somewhere that Elvis Presley still gets hundreds of Valentines sent to his address every year. I don’t know how true it is, but it’s kind of cute. Write about someone who wrote one of those Valentines.

Day 6: Find this year’s Inktober list. (Hint: It’s right here.) Randomly generate a number. Write something based on that numbered prompt.

Day 7: For today’s prompt, you’re gonna reach way back in your head and remember something you wrote way back in the day, when you first started writing. Whether that be a year ago or 10 years ago, write a scene that you think you could improve upon. If you can’t think of anything, rewrite a scene in some piece of media you’ve consumed recently that you think you could improve upon.

Day 8: Use this generator to create a random character. Write about them. For an extra challenge, write about two random characters.

Day 9: Think of a movie, book, tv trope that you really hate. Do you hate when a big, dramatic scene ends and turns out to just be a dream? Do you hate the manic pixie dream girl? Do you, like all of us, hate ‘kill your gays?’ Flip it on its head. Instead of the queer coded fashionable villain trope, write about a straight coded, khaki-wearing villain. If you need help check out tvtropes.com.

Day 10: Freewrite. Set yourself a timer, whether it be for a minute, two minutes, five, or fifteen, freewrite. Don’t plan anything ahead of time. Let the words flow and see what happens.

Day 11: Find five things in your room that seem really unimportant, like a pencil, a dog bowl, or an empty cardboard box. Choose one of those things. Write a piece about that thing being the emotional centerpoint.

Day 12: Have you ever seen a music video that just makes you wanna create something? You can’t tell exactly what it is about it, but it just makes you wanna do something? Find that music video and watch it. During the duration of the music video, think. Let your brain be creative. After you watch it, write for 5 minutes. If you don’t have a music video in mind, challenge yourself to choose a music video outside of the genre you usually listen to and let it inspire you.

Day 13: Write a little something about your favorite OC. This can be a character from a WIP you’re already working on, or an OC you shelved a while back. Just have fun with it! For an extra challenge, try to write something over 1000 words.

Day 14: What if two main characters from two different stories got switched? What if Harry Potter and Percy Jackson switched places? Write about a main character ending up in a different story - whether the story be your own original WIP or an already existing story. Don’t be afraid to go wild with this one! Put Jon Snow in your own WIP. Have fun!

Day 15: Sometimes, it’s nice to just read about domesticity- no drama, no angst, just people doing things like grocery shopping or home renovations. Write about someone doing one of those domestic things that just makes you feel all fuzzy inside. This doesn’t have to be romantic - just write about people living their normal lives in a really cute way.

Day 16: Everyone has a strength as a writer, whether they know it or not. What’s your strength? What do you think you’re best at? Write a piece that really plays into those strengths. Are you really good at writing gripping dialogue? Do you make scenes come to life with your flowery descriptions? Can you make just about anyone cry when you write sad scenes? Do it. Just do it.

Day 17: Write a piece in which your character has a secret. But here’s the twist - you don’t know the secret yet. Let it come to you as your character is challenged by the people around them.

Day 18: Have you heard that every birthmark you have signifies somewhere that your soulmate has kissed you the most amount of times? Write about one of your birthmarks. Or someone else’s. Or one of your OC’s.

Day 19: Look up your name on pinterest - it might help to add the word ‘aesthetic’ afterwards. Write a piece based on one of the boards that comes up. If your name doesn’t work (like mine - all I get is chairs??), use your middle name, your last name, or if none of those work, use an OC’s name.

Day 20: Think of a place in the world that makes you feel a certain type of way. Do you feel small when you look at the stars at the beach? Do you feel at home when you walk through the woods? Write about a character in that specific place and how they might feel.

Day 21: We all have things that we want to write about our OCs that we know, deep down, will never make it into the final cut. They may be self indulgent, they may be unnecessary, but everyone knows that self indulgent writing is the best writing. Write that scene you’ve been dying to write, regardless of whether or not you’re going to use it in the future.

Day 22: Time to take it back a few days to the trope question. What’s a trope that you really just love? The pink haired/black haired ship? Platonic soulmates? Take this trope and flip it. See it from a different perspective. Do you love the fake relationship trope? Twist it and make it a fake enemy-ship. Do you love the best friends to lovers trope? Flip it and make it lovers to best friends.

Day 23: Choose one of these playlists. They’re all catered after certain moods - but try your best to write a piece that is opposite of the intended mood, while still taking the playlist into consideration. Listening to a daydreamy playlist? Write something gritty and realistic. Listening to a love playlist? Write about a breakup.

Day 24: Write a scene in a genre that is way out of your comfort zone. Are you a romance writer who has never taken a crack at horror before? Write something that’ll scare your own socks off. Are you a sci-fi writer who avoids romance like the plague? Write a good smooch. If you need a little help, here’s some prompts.

Day 25: Imagine that a tattoo signifies something significant that happened to you in a past life. Write about one of your tattoos, someone else’s, or one of your OC’s. Or just make something up. Write about what happened to this person in their past life, and what the tattoo is.

Day 26: Choose a scene from something you’ve watched/played/read recently. It doesn’t matter what the scene is. But write it in a completely different timeline. You can change the characters if you’d like. But if the story is a fantasy set in medieval times, write it as a modern piece. If it’s set in modern day, set it in the future. Who knows? You might end up changing the scene completely.

Day 27: Take this test to find out what animal you are. Write about a chance encounter with this animal and what that might mean for your character.

Day 28: Check out someone that you follow on tumblr. Find out about one of their WIPs, choose a character from one of them, and write about them with one of your OCs. If you don’t currently use tumblr, ask a friend about one of their characters. Challenge yourself to write someone else’s character as accurately as you can.

Day 29: This is going to be an easy one - you’ve worked hard this month. Write 1000 words on your current WIP. If you don’t have a current WIP, or you can’t choose one to write on, write 1000 words. Whatever you want.

Day 30: Take one of the pieces you wrote on Day 1 and rewrite it. Do whatever you want with it- but definitely listen to the song while you do! Make it as long or short as you want to.

#writeblr #writing challenge #30 day writing challenge #original writing

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crawgluvr4 · 4 years ago

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ao3

warning for child abuse.

Jack leaves Indiana the week before he turns eighteen.

His parents go to visit a family friend for the weekend, leaving him in charge of his sister. Beth walks in on him as he’s packing, and says: “Wish I could say I was surprised.”

Jack adds another pair of socks.

“So where are you headed?” She leans against the doorframe, nonchalant, but her voice is a touch too light.

“Army.” He rummages through a drawer, considers if there’s any point in bringing a hairbrush. “Out of state.”

“Smart.” Beth scuffs the heel of her shoe on the threshold of his room. “Won’t find you.”

“You can come,” Jack offers, fruitlessly. He puts the hairbrush back in the drawer.

She just smiles at him, bitter around the edges. “Did you tell Vince?”

“Couple days ago.” Jack runs his hands along the edge of the duffle bag. “I was going to tell you.”

“Were you?” Beth folds her arms. There’s a vicious red welt Jack knows extends all the way down her forearm, half hidden by her jacket. “Before or after you stole the truck?”

“Vincent is giving me a lift.” Pathetically small. “To the city. I’ve got a plane.”

Beth hums. “Suppose he hid the ticket for you?”

“Mhm.” He zips up the bag, swings it around his shoulder. It’s not even halfway full. “I better get going.”

“Ask him if he’ll set me up with his sister,” she jokes. “I’d like someone to help me out too.”

“I’m serious,” he says again. Grips the strap of the bag so tightly it hurts. “You can come with me. They let you do that.”

“No, they don’t.” She tilts her head. “I’ll be okay, Jack. I can always go stay with Gina. Her parents don’t mind.”

Jack bites the inside of his lip, still guilty. “I’ll come back for you in a couple years, then.”

“Sure.” Beth leans off the doorframe, gestures like she’s rolling out the red carpet. “C’mon, then. No need to linger here. Nothing much to stick around for.”

“Beth…” He stays still, still with a death grip on the bag. “I don’t want you to think I’m leaving you with them. I just…”

“I know.” Her smile thins. “He won’t come near me. Mom won’t let him, you know that.”

It’s a reassurance and a cruelty at the same time. He nods, unable to find any words that sound right, and leaves his room. The door shuts - thud-thunk - behind him, and the floorboard three steps down from his room whines for the last time Jack will hear.

Outside, Vincent is already waiting, nervously drumming on the wheel of his mother’s car. Jack knows she’s going to be furious with him, and Vincent is still here, all the same. It’s not fair; not fair that he’s doing this despite Jack breaking up with him, and leaving, not fair that he’s leaving Beth behind because he’s too much of a coward to stay, and not fair that his father -

Beth puts one hand on his shoulder and he practically jumps out of his skin. She laughs, then shoves him forward, and he stumbles down the steps. The middle one creaks like it always has, loud enough to hear through his window.

Vincent nods at him, and smiles, waving to Beth as she stands on the porch. Jack turns - the house blocks the evening sun, and Beth is shrouded in shadow, the porch light not yet switched on. He thinks about how he may never see that porch again, and gets an odd surge of guilty delight.

“You better write,” she says, and Jack politely ignores how her voice cracks at the end.

“I will,” he responds, sliding into the passenger seat.

He doesn’t.

Jack returns to Indiana once.

He gets the call while he is, luckily, in the country. He’s asleep in Chicago one moment, then methodically booking a flight to Bloomington at two in the morning the next.

“Jack?” Gabriel mumbles, still half asleep. He pulls most of the quilt towards him as he rolls over, cracking open an eye. “You okay?”

Jack says nothing, just books the plane and saves the ticket, then puts his phone down on the nightstand. The carpet of the hotel room feels like a yawning abyss, and he pulls his legs back up onto the bed, clutching his ankles.

“Jack,” Gabriel says again, and Jack’s scrambled thoughts are cut through by a warm calm. “You’re shaking. What happened?”

Jack can’t comprehend speech, so instead he lets Gabriel share the singular thought: Beth is dead.

Gabriel pulls him back into a hug, and then he’s crying until he’s retching and aching because he never wrote.

Gabriel insists on coming with him to Indiana, so they book another meaningless hotel and Gabriel argues with someone important on the phone for a solid hour. Jack in turn insists he goes to the funeral alone, and Gabriel doesn’t argue, just sits sharing his pain, lets him know in words and thought that he understands.

Jack knows he does, but some part of him still blindly thrashes and says you can’t, you can’t. You loved your family. Gabriel hears it and pretends he doesn’t. Jack will apologize when he remembers how to feel anything other than grief. It had been the same when Los Angeles was destroyed; Gabriel stricken with guilt that he had let down people who had done nothing but love him, and Jack couldn’t understand that, could he?

Jack brushes temporary brown dye through his hair because he is technically a celebrity; Gabriel helps him style it just enough that when he looks in the mirror he barely recognizes himself, dark haired and unshaven and eyes red. Gabriel kisses him goodbye and makes him promise to be back before midnight, knowing that it won’t just be a simple in and out of the church. Nothing ever was, here.

Jack was raised Methodist. He assumes Beth either stuck with it or never wrote a will; she was twenty-five. The cities had been declared safe, more or less. It’s a closed casket service. He wonders who organized the funeral, because he was never contacted until a family friend had notified the undertaker that she did, in fact, have a brother. The priest drones about how sad it was that the Morrison family should suffer such an end, another tragic casualty of the Crisis.

There are a grand total of twenty people at the funeral, and Jack assumes most of those missing are dead. He sits himself near the back and eyes the door, ready to hurry out in case he’s spotted. He can’t make out anyone near the front, but at the back he sees one of his father’s co-workers and nearly has a panic attack until he reasons how ludicrous that would be. So he spends the rest of the service half-dissociating, never taking his eyes off the pale wood coffin at the altar.

People begin to shuffle out, and he dips his head to avoid eye contact, and almost everyone files out of the church without paying him mind. He barely registers one lingering figure until they sit down on the pew next to him, and he thinks, God, this is it, this is where they find me.

“Jack,” Vincent says.

Jack just stares at him.

“Everyone else is gone,” he continues, with the gentleness reserved for those incapacitated by loss. “Why don’t we get some coffee, yeah?”

Jack nods, and they leave, and he misses the burial because he isn’t sure he can stand it.

Vincent doesn’t make idle chatter, keeping a respectful silence while they enter some chain coffee store and he orders for them both. Jack finds himself staring at a caramel latte, his old favourite.

“It’s good to see you,” he says eventually, lamely, as Vincent sips at whatever he’s drinking.

“I’d say the same,” Vincent half-smiles, “But I do see your face every day. The hair’s a good touch.”

He subconsciously reaches up to touch it. “Yeah, I did my best on a day’s notice and no sleep.”

“It looks pretty natural.” Vincent eyes him for a moment. “I think blonde suits you better, though. And don’t go any darker than that.”

“Thanks for the fashion advice.” Jack takes a swig of the coffee, and it burns his tongue. Absurdly normal. “How have you been?”

“Oh.” He pauses, looks a little skittish. “Well, okay, given the circumstances. Pretty glad Dad built that nuclear bunker, because it allowed us to stay pretty much safe for most of the Crisis. Hopefully now that’s over with, I can actually go to college, you know?” Vincent raises an eyebrow. “I suppose I have you to thank for all that.”

“Not really,” Jack says, automatically; he had received far too many undeserved thanks in the past few years. “It could have been literally anyone. I was picked up randomly from my squad and got pretty damn lucky.”

Vincent snorts, dismissive. “Still. It was you in the end, right? Well, not just you. You can thank your friends for me too.”

Jack thinks of how Ana or Gabriel would respond to that and feels almost hysterical. “Sure.”

“And,” Vincent glances down at Jack’s hands, awkwardly resting on the table. “Congratulations, as well. I saw that interview on the T.V. Gabriel, right?”

Jack remembers he’s actually wearing his wedding ring instead of having it around his neck, because there’s no blood or dirt to get stuck in it at a funeral. “Yeah. He, um, wasn’t very happy about that afterwards.”

There had been an interview after the Behemoth had been destroyed where despite Jack’s careful guidance, the host had consistently stressed how close friends he and Gabriel must have been in order to pilot together. Eventually Jack had snapped and said something vaguely obscene, and the interview had ended and Gabriel had tried to be as embarrassed as possible while also not losing himself to laughter. Their relationship had, subsequently, been the subject of several tabloid headlines that Jack wishes he could forget.

He’s smiling a little, though, and Vincent looks relieved enough that Jack decides there’s no better time to ruin it.

��I, um. Did you keep in touch with her?”

Vincent politely laces his fingers together, expression neutralizing. The cuff of his dress shirt sticks to the table, which he doesn’t notice. “Not really. After she graduated, she left the state for a while, but ended up back here when… when John died. I don’t know where she went in the middle of a war, but she seemed to miss it.”

“Right.” Jack gets the overwhelming sense he’s being invasive, somehow. He wraps his hands around his mug. “And when my mother was killed?”

“She inherited the farm.” Vincent takes another sip of coffee, with the arm with the cuff that isn’t stuck to the table. Jack is pretty sure it’s jam. “She didn’t want it, but nobody else was going to buy a farm during the Crisis, so she stayed there. I really didn’t see or hear much of her. She kept to herself.”

Jack stares at his latte.

“...She did ask about you a lot,” Vincent adds. Some of the bubbles in the latte foam burst. “She said if I ever saw you to… say she misses you, and she loves you.”

It’s a lie. Jack almost appreciates the effort. “What else did she say?”

Vincent looks at him for a long time, mouth drawn into a line. “Jack, I don’t think-”

“Please.” The mug starts to burn his hands.

Vincent looks torn, but in the end he relents, because he had always been honest to a fault. “Beth was angry you never wrote. I’m sure you know that. When she saw you on the news, she… understood, but that anger never really went away, I don’t think.”

Jack nods. Another cluster of foam bubbles pop out of existence.

“I really didn’t keep up with her that much. I think her seeing me hurt a bit, I always got the feeling she assumed I talked to you. Which of course I didn’t,” and his voice is just a touch sad, because Beth wasn’t the only one he promised he’d stay in contact with. “But there was no way I could convince her of that without making a bunch of unfair assumptions. At John’s funeral, she gave a speech about how family had always been important to her, and repeated it verbatim at Catherine’s.”

Jack almost laughs. “I’m surprised she gave a speech at all.”

“She was pretty good at keeping up appearances,” and suddenly Vincent’s use of the past tense feels more real. Jack’s mild humour fades, and he clutches the mug tighter. “I, um, don’t know what’s happening to the farm. I think it goes to the state, unless Beth left it to you, but I don’t think she’d do that.”

“Probably not.” Jack watches as Vincent lifts his stuck cuff from the table; it is, indeed, jam.

“Do you want to visit?” He asks. “No pressure, but it might help.”

Jack considers it; thinks about Beth standing on the porch, shadowed by the house, consuming her and never letting her go. “No.”

“Alright.” Vincent tries a smile. “Well. Do me a favour and give me some way to contact you in the future?”

Jack obligingly rattles off his phone number, and Vincent scrabbles to input it. The jam on his shirt sticks it to the inside of his suit sleeve.

They finish their respective drinks in silence, Vincent kind enough not to prod and Jack too guilty to ask anything else. For nearly a decade he had cut himself off from thinking about his life here, focused only on war and saving the world instead. Guilt sidles up his throat and he once again has to convince himself of the absurdity of being recognized while having a public panic attack.

Vincent watches him for a minute before intervening. “If you need to leave, we can leave. I’ll drop you anywhere in the city, Jack, it’s no problem.”

It’s pity, Jack thinks suddenly. The same thing that had motivated him to drive Jack to the airport and take the fall for borrowing his mother’s car. Vincent knows nothing about him anymore aside from what’s on the television and the few snipped stories he had shared with him about his father, clipped and sanitized for public domain. And his dead sister, buried in the same plot as his parents that had cut him out of their life the moment they realized he’d escaped it.

He shakes his head. “My hotel isn’t far. I’d appreciate the walk. Clear my head a bit.”

Vincent doesn’t believe him, smile thinning, but he accepts it. “Alright. If you ever… have questions, or need anything…”

The implication is supposed to be: just ask. Jack knows he means: I’m only offering because it’s kind.

Vincent says goodbye outside the café with the same detached kindness he had at the airport ten years ago, but Jack understands it better now.

He walks around Bloomington for hours. There’s not many shops open yet, mostly restaurants and a few supermarkets, sparsely stocked. The rest of the city is shuttered and dead, and there are far fewer people milling in the streets than he remembers.

His body aches; he doesn’t remember when he last ate, and it feels like his grief overrides his enhancements. He thinks about how if he had come back for Beth she would still be alive, safe, somehow. It’s an impossible thought but he holds onto it anyway, and then his phone is ringing because it’s midnight and he’s alone cold in a back alley with no recollection of how he got there.

“It’s okay,” Gabriel says when Jack can only sob harshly into the phone. “It’s okay. I’ll come find you.”

Gabriel tracks his phone and finds him within ten minutes, only half a mile from their hotel. They sit out in the cold night on the concrete until Jack collects himself enough to walk, numbly, back to the room. Gabriel mumbles soothing nonsense under his breath and doesn’t ask where he’s been, just hauls him into bed and wraps him in the stiff linen sheets until he’s above freezing. In the morning, Jack will mechanically eat enough food for three people and spend the flight back to Chicago trying not to throw up, and he will never go back to Indiana.

Twenty years pass. Jack Morrison dies in August, and Soldier 76 visits Indiana in February.

The farm has been reappropriated by the state, but they have ignored the house, which stands shabby but firm in the twilight. It feels like some kind of hamfisted metaphor, or a sign, or something, but he doesn’t really care. He’s brought two large canisters of gasoline, and a box of matches. Conspicuous, but efficient.

Soldier 76 knows the middle porch step creaks loudly, and avoids it as he ascends, and the door is broken and comes off the hinges because he pulls too hard. He stares at it for a moment, then leans it against the wall and is swallowed by the house.

There’s still furniture inside, sparse and rotting but intact. He checks the drawers out of morbid curiosity, but there’s nothing left in most of them, all trinkets stolen or donated at some point. There’s some cutlery and some dishes, maybe a couple pieces of stationery, nothing to identify who once lived here. He knows he has to go up the stairs to properly coat the building, but he also knows that the room closest to the top has a floorboard three footsteps away that whines.

He exits the house, and picks up one of the canisters. It takes him a while to sum up the will to enter again, and he stops at the top of stairs and considers for a long time.

He eventually walks forward. The floorboard whines. His room is completely empty; no bed, no drawers. Scratches in the concrete walls that have softened with age. Someone was ripped from here hundreds of times, sometimes fighting and sometimes relenting. The barn, visible from the window, has long since been torn down.

He douses most of the petrol in this room alone, trailing the rest down the halls and he doesn’t dare to enter any of the other rooms. His - Jack’s sister’s door is closed, as is his parents’. Soldier 76 sloshes liquid over the handles methodically and when he returns down the stairs, the whine of the floorboard is lost in the sound of his laboured breath.

Hallway, kitchen, living room, office; one after the other. He takes a break only to fetch the second canister, discarding the first in the fireplace. His entire body stinks of gasoline and he wonders as he works if he will catch flame when he lights a match, and knows he doesn’t care. There are a few picture frames still hanging on the walls, faded photos of scenery with no human in sight. He splashes the petrol directly at them and they spit it back in his face.

The second canister empties, and the fumes are almost overwhelmingly nauseating. He throws it at the bay windows in the living room where Jack’s mother would ignore what his father was doing to him in the barn and watch the evening news. The glass shatters and the noise startles him despite his action, and he reels backwards and out the front door.

His first attempt to light a match is thwarted by the shake of his hands. He ends up peeling off the thick leather gloves and striking them bare, and some cruel miracle prevents his body alighting. He throws it in, strikes another, throws it, again and again. A hundred matches join the pyre and the smoke is acrid, thick and suffocating. Some memory dances at the edge of his thoughts; an explosion, fuel leaking on the ocean surface, white hot pain across his face - and he ignores it, because those memories are for the man who died in the Mediterranean Sea.

The blaze lights up the darkness and burns long into the night, and by the time it’s reported the sun is touching the edges of the sky, illuminating the skeleton of the porch. The fire department arrive swifter than any emergency services had in the past - two Omnics with a heat resistant chassis enter the building to search for survivors only to miss the ghosts.

Soldier 76 watches from a safe distance, where the farmland meets the edge of a small wood, where Jack Morrison would hide as a child, as a teenager, where he intended to die. The fire is extinguished, the house is destroyed, and ash sticks to his skin. The man inhabiting his body leaves Indiana and never returns.

#overwatch #soldier 76 #jack morrison #i.. hesitate to tag this r76 but i will because you guys get shit all in this tag anyway #reaper76 #its THERE its just background. dont kill me #pacrim au compliant #this is a headcanon i have regardless of au theres just brief mention of telepathy basically. enjoy!

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brighterthanghosts · 4 years ago

Text

Meant for Romance

Word count: 1,893

Part 1/1

Pairing: Taishiro (past Koumi)

Read below the cut or on ao3

Summary: “So let me get this straight,” Miyako says, swiftly biting into her toast. “You got sloppy drunk on a Tuesday and hooked up with your hot best friend. He let you sleep in his bed overnight and brought you breakfast.”

“And now you’re here, having breakfast with me,” Miyako says with a bored sigh, “When you could be having a coffee-flavored makeout sesh with your hot best friend.”

Heavily implied nsfw. Lots of awkward. Humor maybe? Largely fueled by too much coffee at 4 a.m.

So warm.

Koushiro doesn’t remember ever feeling so cozy in his life. He knows he needs to get up soon — the morning sun on the other side of his eyelids beckons him to start the day. But sleep is still within his grasp, and his pillow smells so nice, like sage and bergamot and mint. He recognizes that scent, though he can’t quite place it, but his brain supplies him with hot breaths on his neck and a husky coo of his name.

Koushiro shivers, pulls the cotton sheet under his chin, and revels in the way it drags across his skin. His skin. All of his skin.

Eyes snapping open, Koushiro jolts up. The sheet, having fallen to the tops of his thighs, answers his first question, but — Where the hell am I?

He remembers Mimi, her pretty hair pulled back, making her deep-set frown stand out even more. She told him it wasn’t working out, that there’s someone else, that this just wasn’t doing it for her anymore. I wasn’t doing it for her at all.

He remembers calling Taichi, desperate and agonizing. Taichi saying he’d be there in 30 minutes. Taichi hailing down a cab to take them to a bar where “the drinks are cheap and totally worth it.” Taichi making him feel better instantly with big grins and fond laughter because that’s what friends do.

Spotting his clothes loosely folded on the desk chair across from the bed, Koushiro moves hastily and slips his underwear on, left foot then right foot. He knows he told Taichi about the breakup. Well, it wasn’t really a breakup, considering he and Mimi had never put a label to what they were doing, which wasn’t much.

Koushiro was busy, and Mimi was needy. She needed things from him that he couldn’t give. They’d tried to engage in sexual activities exactly twice, and neither time could Koushiro perform. It was something that embarrassed him to no end because he liked Mimi and he thought she was cute, but for the entire 8 months they were seeing each other, his body just wouldn’t respond.

Taichi spent most of that conversation listening, Koushiro realizes now, and he never poked fun or judged him. He loves that about Taichi. He’s working on the fourth button of his white dress shirt when his eyes dart to a Polaroid photo propped up on the desk. In the bottom right-hand corner reads ‘The Yagamis 2002.’ Nonononono.

And it hits him like a bullet train. Rough hands, harsh lips. Hips colliding, hot with need. Smooth, sun-kissed skin everywhere. Taichi over him, eyes wide and lips swollen. “Perfect. You’re so perfect.”

“Fuck,” Koushiro stutters, palms suddenly clamy. He’s got both legs in his pants, pulling them up in one swoop, and he hears the door unlock. Fuck.

“Hey, you’re awake!” Taichi says, smiling. At least, Koushiro suspects he’s smiling, but he doesn’t want to know. He can’t bring himself to look at his friend. He hears a rustle of plastic and something heavy hitting the table, but his mind can only focus on slipping on his socks at light speed.

“Sorry to leave you alone,” Taichi sounds sincere. It makes Koushiro feel worse. “I didn’t have much in the fridge, so I ran to the convenience store down the street. I grabbed that bottled Oolong you like. I hope eggs and — you’re leaving?”

“Sorry, Taichi-san. I have to go.” And Koushiro is out the door, leaving Taichi to stand alone in his little apartment.

***

He’s not sure where he’s going, not exactly paying attention, but he spots a park and some familiar treelines, and he manages to make it to a door, knocking furiously.

A beat passes, and he knocks again.

“Jesus, what!?” Miyako says, whipping the door open and looking like she just rolled out of bed. She eyes Koushiro, his tousled hair, frazzled expression, and haphazard outfit.

“Either you’ve met a very unfriendly tornado, or you’re doing the walk of shame,” she says, causing Koushiro to flush from the neck up. “Ah. Walk of shame, huh? Come in.”

The next 20 minutes are filled with Miyako filling her toaster and putting on a pot of coffee while Koushiro relays the previous night’s events with record speed. He’s beet red.

“So let me get this straight,” Miyako says, swiftly biting into her toast. “You got sloppy drunk on a Tuesday and hooked up with your hot best friend. He let you sleep in his bed overnight and brought you breakfast.”

She pauses to look directly into his soul, and Koushiro would like nothing more than to simply pass away.

“And you panicked.” Miyako’s tone is pointed, but when she doesn’t immediately continue, Koushiro opens his mouth to reply in uncoordinated hand gestures and wordless exasperation. He nods instead.

“And now you’re here, having breakfast with me,” Miyako says with a bored sigh, “When you could be having a coffee-flavored makeout sesh with your hot best friend.”

“It’s not like that!” Koushiro defends. Taichi was his very first friend and probably his closest friend — there was no way he could jeopardize that. His failed attempt at a relationship with Mimi was proof enough that Koushiro isn’t meant for romantic endeavors of any kind.

“I just got out of a relationship!” Koushiro pleads, but Miyako’s expression is solid. She’s not buying this for a moment. Softer, Koushiro says, “And Taichi is my friend. I don’t want to take advantage of him.”

“He obviously didn’t mind,” Miyako, says, annoyed and unimpressed with Koushiro’s half-hearted explanation. Koushiro grunts and looks down at the kitchen counter — he’s not entirely sure he believes himself. Miyako sighs again, this time with a hint of sincere tiredness woven in, and saunters toward her bedroom. “Tragic.”

***

The drive to the office is mostly silent, except for Miyako’s intermittent humming to whatever song is playing on the radio. Koushiro can’t make out any of the words over the sound of his heart thrumming like an upright bass in his ears. Miyako doesn’t seem to notice.

It’s times like this when he truly appreciates her — hiring Miyako as his assistant director was one of his best decisions. She always sorts him out when he gets too caught up in the details. Which is probably why he randomly showed up at her home this morning.

They’re walking into the building, and Miyako greets the receptionist quickly, shielding Koushiro from anyone passing through. He looks a mess, he knows, and Miyako’s being kind by attempting to uphold his reputation. She walks him all the way to his office, reminding him to pull the curtain over the glass windows by his door. She says to find her when he’s done.

It was also Miyako who mothered him into keeping spare clothes at the office after one too many all-nighters. “You look like a trash panda, honestly.”

The morning goes as usual, answering emails, IMing Miyako about the slides for their monthly report. He doesn’t notice when noon rolls around. He doesn’t pay attention when his office door opens, or when the sound of rustling plastic makes its second appearance today.

“Koushiro,” comes a soft voice. Koushiro’s fingers hover above his keyboard and a shiver runs down his spine. “Koushiro,” Taichi says again.

He knows he needs to respond but he can’t pull himself away from his safety net just yet. His fingers touch down on the keyboard again, and he exhales shakily.

“Hello, Taichi-san.”

“I was worried you didn’t eat, so I brought you lunch,” Taichi says quietly. It’s unlike him, and it breaks Koushiro’s heart. He knows he’s being selfish. He knows he should acknowledge his friend, but —

“Koushiro, please,” Taichi says, voice sadder now, a tinge of anguish in that last word. “Can we please talk?”

Koushiro freezes again. He’s so utterly fucked and completely inexperienced in all aspects of what’s sure to unfold here. But Taichi sounds hurt, and he doesn’t want to be someone who hurts Taichi.

He swivels around in his chair, facing Taichi on the sofa but looking at the ground where the toe of his shoe meets the wood floor. He wants to say something, taps his foot a few times, and finally looks up.

“Taichi-san, I —”

“What the fuck?”

“Huh?” Koushiro says, caught off guard. Mimi is storming into his office, face fire-engine red.

“You cheated on me?!” She squawks.

“Excuse me?” Koushiro musters because this is his ex, and his mother taught him to mind his manners, but he feels offended.

“Sora heard from Yamato that you slept with someone last night!” Mimi is causing a scene. A few of Koushiro’s colleagues have poked their heads into the hallway outside Koushiro’s office.

“Did you know about this? Who is she?”

She’s addressing Taichi now, who sinks deeper into the sofa and looks like he might combust, and Koushiro’s blood is boiling. He stands, moving into her line of vision.

“Mimi-san, I hardly think anything I did last night could be considered cheating as we never defined the exclusivity of our relationship and you said there was someone else.” Koushiro says with as much confidence as he can. “I think that gives me the right to do as I want.”

Mimi stomps her foot and raises her arms, ready to shout a thousand expletives, but Miyako is through the door and in Mimi’s face like a forcefield.

“Good afternoon, and welcome to Izumi Corporation. My name is Inoue Miyako, and I’m the lead director of team shut down. As in, I’m shutting this down immediately,” Miyako says, straight faced and with her kindest customer service voice. The first-floor security guard stands just outside Koushiro’s office, already escorting Mimi out. Miyako follows after them, stopping in the doorframe. “Thank you for your visit to Izumi Corp! Have a nice day!”

She smiles and waves, and Koushiro feels like he can breathe again. He has know idea what just happened, and his head is pounding. Miyako’s smile falls, eyebrows pull together, and from the doorway, she points her finger at Koushiro and yells, “I expect a raise!”

She shuts his curtains, slams the door behind her and disappears after that. Koushiro’s mind would normally leave the train station in 50 directions at once, but he’s just stunned. He turns, hoping to find Advil in his desk drawer, and — Taichi!

“Taichi-san, I’m so sorry,” Koushiro turns around to face him, and it’s all he can do because Taichi doesn’t deserve any of this. Taichi is looking at him unexpectedly, reaches a hand up to scratch at the nape of his neck and smiles slightly.

“So,” Taichi says and pauses, looking at the table, “lunch?”

Koushiro stares in awe. Taichi smiles and after a beat, looks up and says, “And maybe we can start this day over?”

They spend the rest of the afternoon talking, and Koushiro apologizes with his entire being. For the event with Mimi. For leaving him. For being so cold. Taichi reassures every “I’m sorry.” Taichi says it’s okay because he doesn’t expect the world Koushiro. Taichi is his best friend. Taichi would like to try last night again. Today, preferably, with less alcohol, but he isn’t pushing.

They weathered a year’s worth of drama in a single day. Koushiro is still breathing, and Taichi still smiles at him like Koushiro is the sun. And maybe Koushiro is meant for romance.

#taishiro #taishirou #Taichi is so good #Koushiro needs to lighten up #digimon #excuse my 4 am trash

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sunnixsunshine · 5 years ago

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Here they are, my interpretation of the 2p!Face family! Next are Vargas boys!

I decided to keep 2p!England and America close to the popular incarnations(Oliver and Allan) in the fandom since I really liked those versions still. When I think of France’s opposite I think of a man who’s succumbed to his age despite being immortal; he’s lost all hope in romance, he’s lost any ounce of care for his looks and no longer cares for judgement. He’s just a tired old man. I took a lot inspiration for Canada’s 2P from that one strip where Seychelles takes notice of him and he gets very confident and even tries to flaunt himself to be noticed even further-- just taken up by a billion notches even beyond 1p!America’s canon levels of flare.

Their bios and names under the cut!

• 2p!England

Henry Kirkland(homage to King Henry VII); often referred to as Hen as in Mother Hen.

Much too cheerful for everyone's liking. He often makes too much of his tasty confections and ends up giving them away as presents to his fellow nations or the neighborhood. He's even known to kindly give some to the queen who absolutely cannot get enough! Especially his cakes! Although he's a very nice fellow he's a bit too nosey. He's always over someone's shoulder watching or reading what the other is doing. No one really takes offense however. He doesn't rat anyone out in case it may be a secret. In fact he's got very tight lips! He's kept a very important secret about France under wraps for decades now and has no plans of spilling it now or in the far future. America and Canada call him a helicopter parent and annoying. He means well though. He's a very supportive person and believes if you put your mind to it you can do it!

• 2p!America

June E. B. Jones(middle names are Eisenhower and Benjamin; homage to Junie B. Jones); Canada exclusively calls him Junie while Russia sometimes calls him Junebug, as in he's an annoying bug rather than a nice nickname.

A snarky vegan but ultimately a pacifist through and through. He's often putting himself down for his mistakes and failures and doubting his achievements and victories. Slicked back hair, a stylish motorbike, rolled up sleeves, a leather jacket (depending on the weather)— that's the making of a greaser right there! He's been totally obsessed with the rockabilly lifestyle ever since it became a fad in the 50s. He even still uses the lingo quite frequently(Daddy-O, ginchiest, cruisin' for a bruisin', big tickle, ect)! He used to be named Richard Kirkland after King Richard I/Richard the Lionheart. America changed it to June after declaring independence; later adding Benjamin after Benjamin Franklin passed away, then added Eisenhower after President Dwight D. Eisenhower left office. He became a vegetarian in the 1990s then converted to being a vegan in the 2010s.

• 2p!Canada

Jacob/Jacques Williams(answers to either; homage to Jacques Cartier); J, JJ, and J.W. are all nicknames America and England affectionately call him while everyone else either passes him by or calls him Canada.

An overconfident, loud mouthed, young man that tries much too hard to get noticed. He only wears his country's hockey jerseys(occasionally wears his other sports teams' jerseys) as he believes the more he wears them the more noticeable he'll become— where that logic came from no one is sure. France still calls him Jacques sometimes as it's just a habit. Canada doesn't mind. He used to be all tough and rowdy, but soon after America stepped into the spotlight and he fell into his brother shadow, Canada slowly became attention seeking and even narcissistic. Kuma, his polar bear, is somewhat neglected due to Canada's obsessed nature of being seen by others. It's left Kuma to be a bit hostile— gnawing on Canada's arm or chewing his shoes— as a way of gaining his attention back. Kuma scampers over to America or England for attention and food every now and then but absolutely refuses to totally leave Canada's side— he thinks if he leaves Canada would start to neglect his own heath and wellbeing which makes him feel guilty since he's been with Canada since the beginning.

• 2p!France

Edgar Bonnefoy(homage to French artist Edgar Degas); Ed and Frank are two names most end up calling him, however he doesn't care what he's called as long as it isn't hurtful.

An unfortunately depressed and constantly tired man who actively shows his age. Very pessimistic even if the outcome looks good. He can't ever be bothered to put much energy into anything, which includes his appearance. He goes mostly unshaved and wears a baggy shirt to help hide his back brace— his back is always hurting him, his knees too!— and shorts just because the restrictions around his legs are much too uncomfortable. He doesn't care what shoes he wears but has come to like crocs after America jokingly bought him, and everyone else, a pair for Christmas. Before then he could be seen wearing randomly designed flipflops— with socks! He doesn't actually smoke anymore. He stopped after WW1. Nowadays just holding a lit cigarette helps his nerves calm down and he stops thinking of the crushing inevitability of earth's armageddon for the time being. England often comes over to fix his hair as he tends to let it grow out way too much. He prefers it long but can't muster up the energy to tell England.

#hetalia #2p hetalia #2p france #2p england #2p canada #2p america

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wolfie-posts · 5 years ago

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Kiss and Run Ch.3

Bakugou Katsuki x Female!Reader

Read Chapter 1 here

Author: @wolfie-posts

Co-Writer: @queenmusicforthoughts

Warning: language

Chapter length: 7k words

Story Summary:

You did it! You were given the opportunity to study at U.A. alongside class 1A to become a pro-hero. Within the next three years, you were gonna learn more about yourself and your special quirk, about friendship, about fighting, winning and losing. The road to your goal is bumpy and steep with a lot of obstacles like villains and an explosive blond boy, who decided to make your life a little harder. Will you finally be able to control your quirk? Will you overcome the problems together with your classmates along the way?

A/N: Hello my dudes! Finally, the wait is over, may I present to you chapter 3! I have put my heart and soul into this and I am really happy about how it turned out. I'm really proud of my baby (my story) and I hope you can enjoy it as much as I do while writing it. A HUGE THANKS to all my beta readers, without them this story would probably not be where it is now. They not only keep my writing in check, but they also motivate me and help me plot! Okay, enough of my rant! Enjoy my dudes :)

AO3

Quotev

Wattpad

________________________________________

After the quirk assessment test, you were kind of happy that you didn't have any other classes for the rest of the day because, honestly, you were exhausted. You could feel every inch of your body, even muscles you didn't know you had from pushing yourself to the brink. Your limbs were shaking from overstraining but you liked that feeling. It simply showed that you had worked hard and given your best. No pain, no gain, right?

The changing room was filled with loud chatter. Most of the girls were crowding around the black-haired girl, who had known all along, that Aizawa had lied to bring out the best in all of you. They were discussing the different things that had happened, talking about the "explosive blonde guy" Bakugou, who nearly started a fight with the "broccoli boy" Midoriya and other things like their personal accomplishments, scores, and quirks during the testing. You didn't really follow the conversation, you just observed the other girls and picked up some of the things they said while getting undressed. All you could think about was getting out of your sweaty sports uniform and jumping straight into a steaming hot shower.

You quickly took your towel, body wash, shampoo, and conditioner out of your locker and headed to the shower stalls. You were the first one in the shower stalls due to your "antisocial" behavior. It wasn't like you didn't want to talk to the other girls. they all seemed absolutely sweet, but you didn't really know what to say. You didn't even know the names of most of them, so you just decided to keep to yourself and head into the shower while the others were busy talking.

The hot water running down your body helped to loosen up your tight muscles. You felt relaxation replace the tension you had built up throughout the day. A deep sigh left your mouth in relief as the hot water poured over your face, washing away all the stress and thoughts you had, which also muted the voices of your classmates. A feeling of ease spread through your body while you were washing out the shampoo. You turned off the water after you were finished and dried yourself off, tucking the towel around you like a dress before you walked back to your locker.

You took out your school uniform and stuffed the dirty sports clothes into your bag. You had always pictured yourself in those uniforms back in middle school, wondering how they would look on you.

In your imagination, you had seen yourself many times walking through the hallways of U.A. wearing their uniform with your chin tilted up in pride. Wearing that uniform gave you a feeling of accomplishment; it meant being one step closer to your goal of becoming a pro-hero, one step closer to controlling your quirk. It wasn't like those uniforms were ugly or anything- you actually really liked the school uniform from U.A. It consisted of a cute but formal green skirt, fitting green high-knee socks, a white shirt with a red necktie, and a long-sleeved grey jacket.

You noticed that most of the girls wore knee-high socks, except for you and Uraraka, Pink-cheeks being the only girl wearing green tights instead of socks. You just simply stretched the socks out until they were above your knees and instead of wearing those typical brown girly school shoes, you stuck to your comfortable combat boots. As you were tying up your shoelaces, you failed to notice the alien girl walking up towards you.

"Damn, I really needed that shower!" your newfound friend said, opening up the locker next to yours, causing you to jump a bit at the sudden sound of the girl's cheerful voice. You didn't even realize that you had been drifting off into your thoughts up until now. Normally, you were pretty aware of your surroundings, but even though the shower had cleared your head, your mind started to wander back to the happenings from earlier.

"Huh?" you asked even though you knew what the pink girl had said to you. She had just caught you totally off-guard. "Oh.. umm yeah!" you stammered out after catching on to the conversation; you looked up to see Ashido smiling at you while putting back on her uniform.

"Your brain sure seems fried like Kaminari's, after today's training," she laughed at you, making you clutch your chest from the invisible shot she had fired at you before you fulfilled the act with a painful gasp, which made the two of you erupt into laughter.

"Wanna walk home together?" you asked Ashido, swinging your backpack over your shoulder while leaning against your locker. The pink girl was like a fresh breeze of ocean air, her carefree and forward behavior making you immediately feel close to her like you had already known each other for ages. A small smile spread across your lips at the thought of spending the next three years with that sweet weirdo by your side.

"Hell yeah!" she said, quickly gathering her stuff so you wouldn't have to wait on her. After the two of you had picked up the syllabus, you walked home together, chatting about your expectations for the following days at U.A.

It was a cheerful walk home, Ashido was jumping around showing not even the slightest bit of tiredness. She was way too excited for tomorrow to be exhausted, she couldn't wait for class to actually start, for her first real hero lesson.

You sure would get a sore face from all that smiling and laughing, you thought to yourself while eyeing the bright blue sky. Before you parted ways with Ashido, you exchanged phone numbers and arranged to meet up before school from now on, at the same streetcorner, to walk there together. With a quick goodbye hug and a "see ya tomorrow," you separated, strolling the remaining way home alone.

At home, your parents eagerly awaited your arrival; before you could even shut the door they had already surprised you with a loving and excited hug, shooting questions at you about how your first day went.

You loved how involved your parents were in your life, you have always felt at home with them and you never came short on warmth, affection, and love. Getting into U.A. had been your biggest dream, which your parents fully supported even though they never wanted to be heroes themselves.

After changing into some more comfy clothes, you walked back down to meet your parents in the kitchen, seeing your mother hovered over some pans at the stove. The moment you stepped into the kitchen, your nose caught the pleasing smell of spices, an all to familiar smell belonging to your favorite dish.

"It smells amazing mom!" you said, feeling your mouth begin to water.

"I thought you would like to eat your favorite food after such an exciting day," your mom said, smiling at you from over her shoulder. Your dad was already sitting at the laid table and signaled you to have a seat next to him. For the third time today you reviewed the events of the quirk assessment test and told your parents about your different classmates, especially about Ashido, Kirishima, Bakugou, Kaminari, and Midoriya.

“Remember that ungrateful kid I told you about? The one from the entrance exam, who yelled at me for saving his life?” you asked your parents, rolling your eyes at the memory of the incident, getting a nod in response from both of them, which signaled you to go on with your story.

“Turns out he’s one of my classmates now, but that isn’t even the worst part! He is so arrogant I can’t even deal with him, and this morning he almost blew my head off when I walked into class!”

“You want me to beat him up for you sweetie?” your dad asked you in a serious manner. It was such an unnatural statement coming from him, that it made you raise your eyebrows in return.

“We both know that you would break your wrist in the process. If I ever needed one of you to beat someone up, I would definitely call mom for help.” you chuckled, gaining the laughs of both your parents.

“I mean I could easily get into a fight with him, you know? He already gave me plenty of good reasons to do so. For example, he just randomly pushed me to the ground today while I was waiting for my turn at the exercises. He even threatened to kill me! He’s such a jerk!”

“I’m sorry honey, boys at that age can be annoying sometimes, but they'll grow out of it and mature eventually, but if he doesn’t stop just promise me that you’ll beat his ass up in your next training, okay hon? ”

“Oh heck yeah, I will! He also doesn’t even let me call him by his name.. what else am I supposed to call him? Ugh.. that Bakugou kid just makes my blood boil, such an ungrateful assho--” you cut yourself off by covering up your mouth, realizing who you were talking with.

“Woah, hold up there young lady!” your dad interrupted your rant, shaking his finger at you. “No cursing in this house!”

“Sorry. Not all of the guys are idiots like Bakugou, though! I met this guy Kirishima and he is sooo nice like imagine a ‘Cinderella’ kind of nice, totally the opposite of Bakugou, probably can’t even hurt a fly and he has this amazing quirk which doesn’t really fit his sweet personality.”

“Oohh tell me more about this boy! I want to know all the juicy details!” your mom spoke up with a knowing look, wiggling her eyebrows, making you blush furiously.

“Moooom! It’s not like that! He’s just nice, okay? And he has a pretty strong quirk, like literally! He can turn himself rock solid... I had to find out the hard way...” you said getting a little quieter at the end, remembering your embarrassing encounter with the red-haired boy.

“Okay, okay!” your mom said defensively, throwing her hands up in mock surrender. “It’s totally not what I think it is,” she said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, but you decided to just ignore that.

“Anyways… there’s also this girl Ashido, she just decided that I was gonna be her best friend, not that I’m complaining because she’s awesome. She is gonna be a really cool hero someday, she looks like a pink alien with horns and everything. Her quirk is acid, which makes it so much better! We had to compete against each other in the first exercise and she thoroughly kicked my ass.”

Without giving your parents a second to respond, you launched into a tangent about yet another classmate.

“There was also this other boy, he has green hair that totally looks like broccoli, and he’s honestly such a stalker! I think he has a notebook or something where he keeps tabs on everyone's quirks and their stats! It was so creepy, I NEED to stay away from that kid because I don’t want him to find out how my quirk works.” you said with a nervous look in your eyes, kneading your hands in your lap.

“Oh sweetie, don’t be silly! They’ll find out sooner or later, I mean you’re going to be in the sports tournament after all.”

‘Oh fuck’ you thought to yourself. You hadn’t even considered the fact that you’d be participating in the largest televised event in Japan. Your eyes widened as the requirements of being a U.A. student began to sink in.

‘I don’t want to start kissing random people just to get stronger… Why did my quirk have to involve something so private?! I don’t want my first kiss to be so meaningless! What if they make me kiss someone in training? Oh god..-’

Your thoughts were interrupted by your mom setting a plate of food in front of you. “Stop overthinking and eat with us, you’ll be fine sweetie.”

After dinner a new wave of tiredness hit you, normally you would have stayed up a little longer to watch some tv with your parents, however, you still had to read the syllabus, so you ended up saying an early ‘goodnight’ to your parents and headed up to your room.

'What a day' you thought as you dropped onto your bed, reading through the syllabus.

U.A.'s hero course curriculum consists of normal core classes like English, history, science and so, which always take place in the mornings, followed by a long lunch break. Although U.A. is a school that trains the next generation of pro-heroes, they weren't slacking on the normal education each and every student should receive.

Your eyes lit up when you saw the afternoon schedule.

"Basic hero training" you mumbled with a proud grin spreading across your face.

_____

You walked down the sidewalks of your neighborhood, wisps of early morning sunlight making their way through the trees. Your neighborhood tended to be on the peaceful side, but in the mornings, right before people woke up to start their day, there was absolute silence.

Birds would sing, a slow breeze would flow through, and you’d revel in the calming silence. You’d usually walk to school alone, but this routine had been broken after you met Ashido. You were getting excited as you saw her already waiting for you at the street corner, waving to get your attention, which made you pick up your speed. She greeted you with an enthusiastic hug once you made it to her.

“Oh my god, I am sooooo excited for today! Are you excited? I am excited!” Ashido said eagerly, jumping around like a bouncy ball.

‘How could this girl have this much energy so early in the morning?’ you thought to yourself while admiring the over-eager pink girl.

“Don’t get too excited yet, we still have to go through the boring subjects before basic hero training starts.” the moment you said that Ashido froze into place and gave you a disappointed look.

“Did you really have to remind me about that?” Ashido groaned, going from 100 percent to zero real quick.

“Sorry,” you chuckled and shrugged your shoulders, “but there is no going around it.”

“Just keep up the pace you sloth, we’re meeting up with one more person before going to school and they are already waiting for us.” Ashido casually said, raising her hand as if saying ‘talk to the hand’ and strode off.

“Who are we meeting up with Ashido? Why are you only telling me this now?” you whined, jogging lightly to catch up to your pink-haired companion.

“Oh just shut up, I am doing you a favor!” the alien girl said in a serious tone but you could see the corners of her lips quirked up into a small smile.

“ASHIDO, who are we meeting up with?” you said, letting out a frustrated sigh. It was way too early for people to be testing your patience.

“Nope! My lips are sealed. You will know who it is when we get there.” she simply shut you up and kept on walking in unusual and torturing silence.

Time flew by as the two of you continued your trek through the city.

“The meetup point is straight ahead, ohh I think I already see him..” Ashido began to talk again next to you but your attention had been somewhere else.

‘Aww KITTY!’ a soft squeal escaped your lips as you crouched down to pet the stray, completely ignoring Ashido who kept on walking, still talking as if you were next to her.

You were too occupied with the small creature in front of you to notice the growing distance between you and your friend. Animals really were your weakness, who could simply walk past them without giving them some love?

You were so distracted that you didn’t even notice Ashido waving to somebody in the distance with a huge grin on her face.

The first one to notice the lack of the other person’s presence was Ashido because when she wanted to see your embarrassed and shocked face, it suddenly wasn’t there. She turned back around and scanned the street for you, only to find your figure crouched down near someone’s driveway petting a cat.

“You have to be kidding me...” Ashido mumbled to herself, shaking her head in disbelief.

“EH (Y/N), GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!” the pink girl yelled across the street, promptly gaining your attention.

“Wasn’t a cat the reason she came to school late yesterday? This girl… pff if it weren’t for me she’d probably be late again.” Ashido muttered to herself, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow once you caught up to her.

In your hurry, you failed to notice the red-haired boy only a few meters away, quickly making his way towards the two of you. The sudden flash of red in the corner of your eyes made you look into the direction of the approaching person, only to be greeted by a brightly smiling Kirishima.

Your face dropped at the sight of the boy and you could feel your ears begin to heat up at the embarrassing memories from yesterday, which were flooding your brain once again.

You gave Kirishima a small smile and quickly turned towards your pink friend with the same smile plastered on your face. The smile didn’t quite reach your eyes, which held a murderous glare.

“For your sake, tell me this is a coincidence,” you said in a dangerously low voice, but Ashido ignored your indirect intimidation and turned towards the red-haired boy unaffectedly with an innocent smile.

“Hey Kiri, I’m so happy we can keep on walking to school together,” Ashido said, almost bursting with laughter at the sight of your furious expression and the hint of pink which was now forming not only on your cheeks but also Kirishima's.

“I’m going to kill you!” you whispered the threat so that only Ashido could hear.

“Yeah I am happy too that we both made it into U.A.,” he said while scratching the back of his neck.

And before you even knew it this would become your favorite part of the day, with friends who soon would become more like family.

As the school building came into view, two figures stood out from the swarm of people who were walking inside of the premises. Everybody was heading inside, while those two were the only ones frozen into place. The two boys resembled an island in a stream of students.

“Oh hey look it’s Kaminari and Sero,” Kirishima said excitedly, pointing towards the boys.

‘Oh no...’ you thought to yourself, gulping down the lump in your throat while heading straight into dangerous territory.

“Oh hey it’s you the girl who wanted to tou-”

“YES! HI IT’S ME (Y/N)!” you quickly interrupted Kaminari before he could finish his sentence, “also hi, we haven’t been introduced yet,” you turned towards the other boy, which you didn’t know the name of yet and bowed.

“My name is Hanta Sero, nice to meet you.” the black-haired boy said to you and smiled.

“Now that the squad is complete should we head to class?” Ashido said, throwing her fists up towards the sky in excitement.

“C'mon, let’s go!” she yelled enthusiastically, pulling you and Kirishima along the way as she headed inside of the building.

Your first class of the day was English, as you took your seat behind Ashido you couldn’t shake off the feeling that someone’s eyes were on you but you didn’t dare to look for the person and kept on talking with your new friends.

It didn’t take long before Present Mic stormed into class and right away began the lesson by writing down four English sentences at the blackboard.

The man whom I respect most is my father.

That is the house in which he lived.

I well remember the day on which we both met.

Please tell that all you know.

“Now, which of these four sentences contains a mistake?” he asked into the room with a questioning look, holding up his English book.

You had to control yourself not to laugh at the priceless expressions your friends had. The looks of boredom and disappointment weren’t just plastered on your friends’ faces, everybody in class had a cloud of apathy hanging above their heads, everyone but Midoriya and the black-haired smarty-pants girl.

“Hey everybody look alive, grammar rules!” Present Mic yelled out as a result of literally getting no reaction at all to his previous question. He looked like a jumping jack, wagging his arms around hectically in a sad attempt to motivate his students.

“Yes, Yaoyorozu.” Present Mic called out to the black-haired girl with a hint of relief in his voice. She was the only one with her hand raised, but before Yaoyorozu could proudly answer your teacher's question the door swung open revealing a tired and sluggish Aizawa.

“Excuse me, Mic, but I need to borrow (y/n) here for a while,” he said in a monotonous way gaining a startled look from your English teacher.

“Ah.. yes, no problem!” Present Mic replied in a rather confused manner, class had only started like 15 minutes ago, how come one of his students was already getting called out? They didn’t even have the time to do anything stupid yet.

“Follow me!” was all Aizawa said, walking out into the hallway, waving his hand to underline his order.

“Ohhhhhhhh someone is in trouble!” Kaminari spoke up in a sing-song voice while wiggling his eyebrows, but Ashido had your back and shut him up with a smack to the back of his head before you could even say anything in your defense.

“How could she be in trouble? It’s only the second day of school?!” she growled at Kaminari, although her words weren’t showing any concern her eyes did look worried.

After making sure Kaminari wasn’t saying another word, Ashido looked back at you and nodded into your direction as if to make sure you were okay, which you returned to assure her that you would be fine. It was a small but meaningful gesture, one that you appreciated very much.

As you were putting away your stuff, you could feel the looks of your classmates glued to your every move, but one person, in particular, didn’t even bother to look your way, why would he care about some damn extra? Even the birds outside were more interesting than that shitty girl, who was in for some trouble.

Stepping into the hallway, you expected Aizawa to lash out on you or give you a scary pep talk as he did to Uraraka and the rest of the class during testing. You didn’t expect him to yawn and wave you off with the words “All Might is waiting for you in his office”.

“He is what now?” you said out loud, doubting your own ears. You couldn’t hide the genuine surprise on your face.

‘What could All Might, the symbol of peace, possibly want to talk with me about?’ you asked yourself in fear, seeing every bad thing you have ever done in your life flash before your eyes.

“He didn’t say. Just hurry up and stop wasting my time,” he said while zipping up his yellow sleeping bag, not batting an eye at you.

On your way to his office, you drifted off into your thoughts, thinking about all the possible reasons All Might could want to talk to you, leaving you even more clueless than before.

You were so deep into your thoughts, that you didn’t even realize you had been standing in front of his office for a solid 3 minutes. Gathering all your courage, you forced yourself to knock at the door, bringing your anxiety level to its peak. A loud “come in” from the other side of the door, brought you back into the here and now. You took this as your cue to enter, hands shaking slightly as you opened the door, feeling your heartbeat racing in your throat.

“Hello young (l/n), please, take a seat.” All Might said while gesturing towards the chair in front of him, giving you his iconic white-toothed smile.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of meeting you?” was all you could manage to say after taking a seat, kneading your hands in your lab trying to calm yourself down.

“So, the others don’t know yet but I am going to be your teacher for the basic hero training course,” All Might began his speech.

Anyone else would have had their jaw on the ground at this point, anyone except for you. You were too busy overthinking the situation to even register the awesome fact that the symbol of peace himself would be your teacher. There wasn't really time for you to feel happy about it, because the only thing on your mind was, why exactly was he telling you this? Why just you and not the others?

“I've been preparing today’s training and as I was going over the different arrangements, I noticed that you seem to have a small disadvantage in comparison to your classmates. You see, before you even attended the school, U.A. had you fill out a hero costume form. Everybody had to do that, draw their dream costume just how they envisioned it with gadgets that enhance your quirks." All Might said, a faint smile dancing on his lips. For a moment, it seemed like he was drifting off into his memories as he stared into the distance.

"You probably ask yourself why I am telling you this right now, young (l/n). Well, the thing is that the hero costumes will play an important part in today’s exercise. I was going over all of them and yours stood out quite a bit. First I thought the development department had made a mistake, so I checked your hero costume form, to compare your design with your finished suit. I didn't really expect it to be almost entirely blank except for the assessments.” All Might said interrupting his own speech as he started to rummage through a stack of papers.

There was an awkward silence, the sound of papers being sorted echoed in your ears together with your heartbeat. You felt the need to break the silence, but you knew it wasn't the moment to talk right now, so you just watched intensely as All Might went through the different documents. As he was trying to find what he was looking for, you were trying to remember what you had written back then on your form.

“Ah, found it! Here...” he said scanning the paper.

“Your only request was that it needed to be a ‘flexible short jumpsuit with some high knee socks’, nothing else, not even a drawing.” All Might stated, raising an eyebrow at you, which made you squirm nervously in your seat.

You could see that he was trying to read your mind by interpreting your facial expression, wanting to understand the reasons behind not designing your own hero costume.

His blue eyes were staring at you, but he wasn’t really looking at you, you could see that his mind was wandering off to somewhere else. ‘How could you not have any wishes for your hero suit’ he thought to himself, reminiscing the time he himself had to think about his own hero costume.

He had wanted to be a hero as long as he could remember, thinking about his hero name, already designing possible costumes before he even knew if he had a quirk or not. He had spent so many hours of his life thinking about becoming a hero, even when he found out that he was quirkless, he never stopped dreaming about it. Being enlightened with the power of ‘One for All’ was the best day of his life, so why didn't you seem that interested in becoming a popular heroine? You had a pretty good chance at that too, from what All Might had read in your file. Your quirk is pretty strong as well, so why weren't you embracing it?

"I think I also mentioned that I wanted to keep my combat boots..." you mumbled to yourself, thinking back to you filling out your form. It wasn't that you didn't care about your costume, you just didn't think about becoming a hero from the start. You didn't even know about your quirk’s expanse until the age of seven. Before that, you had never really given the job much thought.

“Don’t get me wrong, I want to be a heroine, I really do! The thing is, I don’t have any clue about my quirk, I have no control whatsoever, and I really can’t think of any gadgets that would benefit it. That’s the reason why my form was pretty much blank ‘cause you’d probably have a better idea of what would suit my quirk. As long as I can keep my boots and the costume has the colors black, red and turquoise I’ll be happy, so you do you!” you grinned, having gained more confidence over the course of your speech.

You were okay with reaching your limit of knowledge, that is why you came to U.A., right? So that the best heroes and teachers can help you figure things out. Till now, you had just watched from the sidelines, being in U.A. meant looking behind the curtains, seeing the work and effort everyone has to put in on a daily basis, learning about your own strengths and weaknesses and how to deal with them.

“I thought you’d say something like that. Which is why I’ve arranged for you to go to the development department and talk to Power Loader. He’s the best person to talk to about this and I’m sure he’ll help you create your perfect hero costume. I already told him that you’d be there, so you better get going young L/N.” All Might said, standing up and gesturing for you to get up as well. You complied, confusion in your eyes as he gently nudged you towards the door and into the hallway.

“Good luck young l/n! Can’t wait to see what you come up with!” and just like that he shut the door in your face, leaving you stunned and slightly speechless.

“He could have at least told me where I can find the damn Development Department before closing the door in my face...” you mumbled, slightly annoyed, throwing your backpack over your shoulder as you began your search for the elusive Development’s Studio.

_____

“Finally” you sighed as you saw the bright and playful yellow sign of the ‘Development Studio’ down the hall. Some boxes with fabrics, metal scrap and other things like cleaning stuff stood to the left and right of the huge metal entrance doors.

It had taken you quite a while to find the studio, which was located on the first floor of U.A. High’s main building. You had wandered around for a long time, getting more and more frustrated by the second after All Might had sent you off to find the office on your own. It was your first “real” day at U.A. and you were already missing class to go deal with your hero costume. ‘Pfff priorities’ you thought to yourself looking at the metal doors.

‘Let’s just get this over with’ you thought to yourself, looking down at the grey suitcase with green numbers on it, your number.

All Might had explained that everyone in class 1-A would receive a suitcase like yours, they were all numbered from 1 to 21, suitcase number “1” belonging to the first person of the class in alphabetical order.

As you were eyeing your suitcase, your thoughts started to drift off. You were the only one who hadn’t put in the effort to fill out the hero costume form. What if the costume they had made for you was absolutely dreadful?

The longer you thought about it, the more you wanted to facepalm yourself, what if they had put you in some kind of princess dress? You would have been forced to seriously defeat villains wearing something silly like that. Those pictures in your mind were terrifying and you fiercely shook your head to get rid of them before they scar your memory forever.

You took in a deep breath and focused yourself before you knocked on the door, hoping the man who managed the place wouldn’t be too mad about your tardiness due to your lack of orientation.

Loud rumbling was heard in the workshop followed by a muffled cry and a dull thud, which made you flinch and raise one eyebrow.

“Hello? Is everything okay in there? I’m coming in.” you said hesitantly after a small pause, entering the studio carefully, your body on high alert just like your eyes. You were on the lookout for any unusual signs that fit the noises from before.

As you walked into the studio you scanned the room for the person whos cry you had heard, but what you saw had your mouth agape.

The studio was filled with different tools laying on tables or hanging neatly at their designated place on the walls. Wooden planks, metal scrap, fabrics, everything was spread out over the different tables or put away in boxes. There were mannequins, some naked, others wearing some prototypes of suits or gadgets standing to the left. Different shelves were holding boxes of material, finished products or rolled up drafts.

You were standing in the middle of some crazy genius engineer’s workshop, there was just so much to see, chains hanging from the ceiling, a glass window which displayed some mannequin with a suit getting fried by a laser and cut by a chainsaw and there was a whole wall of monitors on your right. But the most interesting view of this place was the shirtless guy with a yellow helmet in the shape of a rectangular excavator claw, which was covering his head and most of his face.

‘What a weird and overdramatic jaw-guard’ you thought to yourself as you took in every detail of the short and skinny man, who was laying in a pile of boxes and gadgets.

You came to a halt right in front of the man, eyeing him warily as you held out your hand towards him.

“Looks like you could use a hand,” you said with a small smirk but still cautious of the unknown person with the strange helmet.

“Ah, thanks! You arrived just at the right moment.” he chuckled as he gladly took your hand.

You knew you had small hands but when the stranger took ahold of your it felt like your hand was miniature sized. You also noticed weird orange “L” shaped pieces at the end of his fingers. His hands had you staring, slightly tilting your head as if that would give you any answers to those claw-like fingers.

“You must be (y/n) (l/n) then, I am Higari Maijima also known as Power Loader. All Might told me that you would pay me a visit at some point today. So, what can I do for you?” he said in a kind voice, signaling you to come sit down at the second chair in front of the monitors.

“Nice to meet ya, I don’t know if All Might told you why I am here but apparently my heroine costume is in desperate need of some updates,” you said with a hint of sarcasm as you looked down at your suitcase.

“Oh, I got you! You aren’t happy with your design and how it turned out. Well, let’s see.” he said while turning towards his keyboard, his fingers were flying over the keys which seemed to be bigger than the average size.

He opened up some files and dragged them into some kind of program, not even a minute later a virtual you popped up on the screen wearing a short black jumpsuit.

“Wow” was all you could manage to say as you ogled the virtual you.

“Hm, that is a pretty plain costume, what is it that you don’t like about it?” Power Loader asked you as he opened up some more files about your requests and body measurements.

“Well, this is actually the first time I see the suit myself. Honestly, I expected worse from what All Might told me,” you said pulling down the corners of your mouth as you shrugged your shoulders. You were genuinely impressed by the outcome of your costume, they had taken pretty much everything you had written on your form into account, which wasn’t a lot. You had requested the colors black, red and turquoise and that you wanted to keep your combat boots. The finished product was a black short jumpsuit without sleeves with a high neck. It showed some skin on the sides, leaving your ribs bare.

Most of your costume was in black but an ordinary jumpsuit like that wasn’t fit for a heroine, which is why they worked with some pretty detailing in red and turquoise. Your shoulders had some red elements just like your thighs. You were also given some high knee socks and some long gloves in black with the difference that they had turquoise detailing on the ends. All in all your hero costume looked sharp.

“Wait, if you haven’t seen it before, why do you want to change it?” Power Loader interrupted your analyzation of the outfit.

“As a matter of fact, I never designed my costume. See?” you said pointing at one of the monitors which displayed your submission form.

“I honestly never really thought about it because I don’t even know how I can use my quirk to the fullest, I don’t know what would benefit my powers in the slightest. So, I just wrote down my measurements and the colors I wanted and et voilà!” you said pointing at the virtual you in hero costume.

“You see, All Might told me that I should talk to you about my quirk and possible gadgets. He said you would be the only person who would be able to create a getup, that would suit me and my powers perfectly,” you said expectantly while glancing at the pro hero next to you out of the corner of your eye.

“Think you’re up for the challenge?” you added with a devilish smirk, knowing exactly which buttons to press to motivate the engineer next to you.

“Let’s get to work!” was all he said excitingly rubbing his hands together as he rapidly typed on his keypad.

“Okay, tell me about your quirk, fighting style and preferences and let me do the magic,” he said and even though you couldn’t really see his face, you were damn sure that he had the same stupid smile on his face as you.

“So, I have a copy quirk ergo I need an all-rounder suit, it needs to be flexible and withstand all kinds of situations.”

“Copy that, what about protectors?”

“Ohhh, give me some knees and elbows to kill!”

“Some... what?”

“Those protection thingies!”

“Those?” he asked you pointing at some pentagon-shaped knee protectors in silver.

“YES, but make them sharper!”

“Okay... what about your fighting style?”

“Hm, I am a kickboxer so maybe something for my knuckles, wrists, and feet?”

“I can strengthen the fabric of your gloves around your wrist and give you some knuckle protectors. I would sew it into the glove, so you could break bones and still look stylish?”

“Yes, let’s do that! What about my shoes though? I really want to keep my lucky boots!”

“Don’t worry, I can work with your boots, no need to change them. You would have to leave them here for a while but I can pimp them up with some iron soles and shines that can act as armor. How does that sound?”

“Sounds like a damn awesome hero outfit to me!” you said approvingly of the upgrades with a big smile. That was a hero costume you could get behind and kick some ass with!

“Okay great! I think I actually have some prototypes of those knee protectors you want, well some similar looking ones. Give me a second.” Power Loader said looking through the pile of boxes and gadgets he had been laying in minutes ago.

“Found them! Here,” he said, giving you a pair of plain silver looking knee protectors.

“From what All Might told me, you will be needing them this afternoon, just bring me your combat boots after you finished your first basic hero training. Who knows, maybe you come up with some more changes to your costume after practice.” Power Loader said giving you a gentle smile, which didn’t really suit his intimidating aura.

“Alrighty then! See you after I kicked some ass in my prototype suit! Bye!” you flashed him a quick grin and raised your hand goodbye as you skipped out of the development studio.

As you looked at the clock hanging in the hallway on your way to class your eyes widened in shock! It was already lunch break! You had literally missed all your core classes dealing with this problem. ‘How is that even possible?’ you asked yourself as you hurried to the cafeteria. It didn’t feel like you had been talking for so long and upgrading your hero costume didn’t take too long either, or did it? You apparently had lost your sense of time completely, there was no other explanation for this.

“Better hurry before I run out of time to eat lunch!” you mumbled to yourself as you searched for the cafeteria, where your pink-alien friend was already waiting for you. You couldn’t wait to get some food into your stomach before basic hero training started, ‘oh boy, will they flip if they find out who our teacher will be!’ you grinned to yourself stupidly.

<– previous Chapter | next Chapter –>

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noahsfreckles · 6 years ago

Text

Keeping Secrets from Strangers (chap 3)

I wake up around ten the next morning, Lexi is still sleeping so I reach over and grab my phone.

3 texts from Jamey🐱

1 twitter notification

1 Snapchat

I open Twitter and check my mentions.

'@winafreeiphone: win one free iPhone. Click link in bio!'

I click the bio then the three dots at the banner and select block @winafreeiphone. I start to close the app when I go back to my timeline when I see a tweet from Jamey.

“@browneyedboy: what's it mean when every dream is about you now? _🎶

I copy the tweet and look up the lyrics. Criminal by State Champs. I click the YouTube lyric video and start listening to the song.

"Are you listening to State Champs?" Lexi asks and scares me.

"When did you wake up?"

"Derek's voice always wakes me up," she says and wiggles her eyebrows.

"Ew, wait who's Derek?" I ask confused.

"The singer in State Champs duh," Lexi says as she rolls her eyes. "Why are you listening to them?"

I look at her bite my lip a little, "Jamey."

"Oh okay," she says and rolls back over like she's going back to sleep. "Whose Jamey?" she asks but stays facing away from me.

"Browneyedboy."

She suddenly flips over and looks at me. "His name is Jamey?"

I nod slowly and look at her. "Yeah."

My phone vibrates in my hand and I look down at the banner; Jamey🐱. I try not to smile when I see he texts me.

"And who is that?"

"Jamey."

"You gave him your number, Mia?!, she says and jumps up on the bed and sits on her knees.

"Yeah. What's the worst could happen?"

"He could stalk you, kidnap you, and murder you!'

"Lexi, he's not going to do anything like that. I didn't tell him where I live or anything and I won't. I pinky promise." I hold up my pinky to her. She looks at it and then at me then back at the pinky.

"Pinky promise on your love for Noah that you won't tell him anything personal?"

"I don't love Noah, but I pinky promise."

We hook pinkies then kiss our thumbs and she eyes me. I pull away and she says, "okay tell me everything."

I tell her everything that happened last night which isn't much and she just looks at me.

"What?"

"Well what did he say /today/?"

I had totally forgot he texted me and I look down at my phone and unlock it and open the iMessage app.

Jamey🐱: morning Mia 😎 @9:17am

Jamey🐱: I hope you have a great day. @9:17am Jamey🐱: hope to talk to you later 😎 @9:18am Jamey🐱: Stuvi says meow. @10:12am

I show her my phone and nods. "I approve," she says and jumps off the bed.

"You approve?"

"Yup."

"Um okay?"

She just laughs as she start to change into her clothes. "He seems nice so I approve of this friendship, but if he steals you away from me it's on!"

I start laughing. "Where are you going?"

"I have to be home by eleven. Didn't I tell you?"

"No." I make a sad face at her.

"Aww my lil Mia I still love you. Don't be sad. I'll come back later." Lexi says and comes over and hugs me tight.

"Only cause you're coming back that I'm okay with it now," I say as we squeeze each other.

We slowly let each other go and she leaves.

"Now what am I going to do?" I say out loud to no one.

I look down at my phone and unlock it.

Mia: morning Jamey 🐱

I open snapchat and see who snapped me when I see it's just from Snapchat. I close the app and open Twitter.

'@heyitsmia: well @heyitzlexi had to leave me and now I'm all alone and bored.'

'@heyitzlexi: sorry babe I still love you though. 💋💋💕💕

'@heyitsmia: you better. 💋💋💕💕

My phone buzzes; Jamey🐱 texted you.

I click the banner; Jamey🐱: wanna play a game?

Mia: what game?

Jamey🐱: twenty questions.

Mia: was that your first question?

Jamey🐱: was that yours? 😋

I giggle a little.

Jamey🐱: did you have any dreams last night?

I think for a minute, did I?

Mia: I don't think I did. Mia: were you dreaming about someone last night? 👀👀

Jamey🐱: maybe 🤐

Mia: Aww that cute

Jamey🐱: I never said I did.

Mia: but you didn't deny it so you did 😛

Jamey🐱: ☹️

Mia: don't be sad Jamey I bet they would be honored to be in your dreams. ♥️

Jamey🐱: ♥️ Jamey🐱: how tall are you?

Mia: 5'5

Jamey🐱: you're tiny.

Mia: yup 🙁 Mia: how tall are you?

Jamey🐱: 6'1. 😎

Mia: whoa you're tall 😲

Jamey🐱: celebrity crush?

Mia: umm Shawn Mendes

Jamey🐱: he's cute 🧐

Mia: you're a dork. Whose yours?

Jamey🐱: Selena Gomez 🥰😍

Mia: She's cute. 🤩

Jamey🐱: are you mocking me?

Mia: is that your question?

Jamey🐱: ☹️

Mia: Jaaaaaaammmmmeeeeyyyyy don't be sad I'm only joking.

Jamey🐱: you're mean. 🙁

Mia: I'm sowwy 💋💋

Jamey🐱: still mean. 😕

Mia: Jamey I will come steal Stuvi if you don't smile.

Jamey🐱: YOU WOULDN'T!

Mia: are you going to smile?

Jamey🐱: 🙂

Mia: I will leave Stuvi alone.

Jamey🐱: thanks. Do you have any pets?

Mia: does Lexi count? 🤣

Jamey🐱: ohh I'm telling her!

Mia: ohh Stuvi. Here kitty kitty.

Jamey🐱: 😲😲😲 I won't tell!

Mia: 🤓 no I don't have any pets.

Jamey🐱: I should of never told you about Stuvi.

Mia: you should be happy that I actually like him enough to wanna steal him. Mia: fave song right now?

Jamey🐱: that's a hard question Mia probably anything by Bazzi.

Mia: I've never heard of Bazzi but I'll give it a listen.

Jamey🐱: what's yours?

Mia: probably Save Me Tonight by Arty I always dance to it no matter where I am.

Jamey🐱: hey I know that song!

Mia: yeah I saw it on one of Noah's tweets and listened to it and fell in love.

Jamey🐱: that's where I heard about it too. Jamey🐱: hey can I text you later? My buddy's here and we're supposed to go to the gym.

Mia: oh yeah that's fine, I'll be here all day being bored

Jamey🐱: I'll be back sooner than you think missy. 😋

Mia: go before I change my mind mister. 🤔

Jamey🐱: bye Mia. 😎

Mia: bye Jamey.

I get up from my bed and realize it's almost noon and I'm starving. I head down to the kitchen and grab a box of frozen waffles and heat up two in the toaster.

It's oddly quiet for a Saturday at my house. I start looking around while my waffles cook when I notice a note on the table;

Honey we decided to go out and visit your aunt Sheryl and I know how much you're allergic to Sammy that we didn't ask you if you wanted to go. Be back around 3

Love you bunches

I put the paper back in the table as my waffles pop up. I grab the Reese's spread and a butter knife and start 'buttering' my waffles. I put the knife in the dishwasher and grab a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and head back up to my room.

I get comfy on my bed and grab my laptop from my backpack and start watching The Kissing Booth while eating my waffles.

I grab my phone once I'm finished and notice I have a notification from Twitter. I click the notification and it opens up to Noah's page.

"Of course you work out," I randomly say. I laugh a little to myself. I get up off my bed, leaving the movie playing and head downstairs to put my dish in the dishwasher.

I head back up to my room. I grab my phone and start googling hair styles when I see a girl with pink hair and I fall in love with it. I go to her Instagram and look at her pics. I open Twitter and put up a poll;

What color should I dye my hair?

Pink

Lavender

Turquoise

Set timer for 1 hour.

I close the app and continue watching the movie.

Around an hour later I get a text.

Lexi🤪: PINK!!!!

I just laugh.

Mia: I was wondering when I would get this text.

Lexi🤪: let me do it!

Mia: but I wanna do it today 🙁

Lexi🤪: okay but you gotta let me do it next time

Mia: I promise. 💕

Lexi🤪: what are you doing?

Mia: going to get the dye and maybe some Starbs and kinda waiting for Jamey to get back from the gym.

I bite my lip at that and wait for Lexi to freak out on me again.

Lexi🤪: you better not replace me or me and him are gonna fight. 😡👊🏻💥

Mia: I'm not replacing you love. I'm just bored and he's bored too well till his friends came over.

Lexi🤪: I'm watching him 👀👀

Mia: you're a dork.

I get up and start to get dressed; a blue crop top and some black leggings with cut outs up the leg and socks with my Nike's. I throw my hair in a messy top knot and head out to my Jeep.

I head towards Sally Beauty, once I'm parked I get out and head inside when I hear a whistle. I look over at two guys; one trying to hide and the other one brightly smiling at me. I wave a little and walk in the store.

I buy the dye and head back out to my Jeep when I see the guys from before. The one who was hiding is already in the Jeep and the other is still outside so I whistle and he quickly turns, I laugh then wave and get into my Jeep.

I make my way to Starbucks when I see the Jeep again. A__re they following me?

I pull in the parking lot and park as their Jeep pulls through the drive-thru but then decide I don't wanna go in so I get in the drive-thru behind them. They move up in line to pay and wait, my phone vibrates in the cup holder so I pick it up;

Noah tweeted; why is @KyleMcCarthy so embarrassing in front of cute girls?

I click on Kyle's name and follow him, I sit my phone back down and we all move up on line. I order a seriously strawberry venti and a pb&j protein box.

"Is that all?" The barista asks.

"Yes, thank you."

We all pull forward and the Jeep pull off and parks in a parking spot. I pull up to the window and the barista smiles and say, "hi. Here's your drink." I take it from her and sit in it my empty cup holder. "And your protein box." I take that from her and put it in my passenger seat. I turn back to the window, "how much?"

"Oh the guys in the Jeep took care of it for you."

"Oh how nice of them. Thank you have a good day."

"You too," she smiles and closes the window.

I pull up beside their Jeep and roll down my window, and look over at their Jeep. The passenger side window starts to roll down when I hear yelling from the window. The guy I whistled at smiles while the driver is turned and looking in the backseat.

"Hey, thanks for the Starbs," I smile and say.

"Oh that wasn't me, that was my rude buddy, whose too busy looking in the backseat instead talking to a beautiful girl.

"I'm trying to find something!" Comes from the window.

"Okay bro I'll just keep talking to the beautiful girl. Hi beautiful. What's your name unless I can keep calling you beautiful?"

I laugh a little, "Mia but beautiful works too."

"Hello beautiful Mia, I'm Kyle and the loser next to me is No-."

"Jason!" I hear from the other guy.

"Hi Kyle and Jason."

"Hi!" I hear from the other guy again when Kyle turns to look at him and they start quietly arguing.

I just look at their Jeep and wait for Kyle to turn back to me, but then decide I better go.

"Um Kyle? Im just gonna go. I need to get home."

Kyle turns around, "oh okay, hope to see you around Mia," then he winks.

"Bye Jason."

"Bye Mia."

I wave bye when I roll up my window and back out of the parking spot and head home.

#to all the boys i've loved before #the fosters #noah centineo imagine #noah centineo #noah centineo x orginal character #noah centineo fanfic #sierra burgess is a loser #sbial #tatblib #keeping secrets from strangers #noah centineo fanfiction

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hopeishappinessff · 6 years ago

Text

Holding Onto Hope: Chapter 56.1

Chris

My head rested comfortably against the headrest in the car and I sat there consumed in silence, staring at the house next door. I’d been sitting in the car for well over half an hour… but I wasn’t quite ready to go inside. My heart wouldn’t let me get out of the car without confirmation from my mind that I was going to go next door, but my mind totally disagreed… my mind was begging me to just go in the house and call it a night. My mind, the logical part of me, knew it made sense not to bother her because she hadn’t made an attempt to reach out to me. Obviously, that had to mean she had no interest in talking to me… right?

I sighed and shifted my gaze to the visor in front of me… the heart wants what the heart wants. Twisting my lips to one side with thought, I forced myself to push the entire topic to the back of my mind and pushed the driver side door open to exit the car. As I shut the door and hit the lock on the keychain in my hand, I made my way around to the front of the car with my body facing the direction my heart was demanding that I go… but my mind got the best of me. I dropped my head with defeat and turned instead and briskly made my way to my mom’s front door and quickly let myself in the house. I felt almost embarrassed by my actions… what if someone in the house was looking out the window at me looking like a stalker outside in the night?

“Hey baby, that you?” My mom called out from what sounded like the living room.

I crossed over toward the stairs and glanced back over my shoulder in her direction “Yes ma’am.”

She may have said something else, I’m not even sure, but I’d already begun the journey up the stairs two at a time. Once I made it to my room, I tugged my t-shirt up over my head as I simultaneously shut the door with my foot. I made a quick beeline toward the bathroom and moved straight for the shower with my shorts already down to my ankles. I was desperate to get in the shower… perhaps it would help to wash some of my obsessive thoughts away like I prayed it would every night this week. Once my shower was done, I’d pop a couple Alpranax and hit the sack because it wouldn’t take long for me to get drowsy. But that’s exactly what I needed and it’s what I’d been doing for the past week. This was the only method for me to stay sane… wake and bake in the backyard to get me through ‘til midafternoon, pop one pill right around noon to soothe me but not put me to sleep, then spend the evening smoking with the boys. By the time I came in at night and the weed started to wear off, I’d always end the night with a warm shower and a few of the pills. It’d become the new routine and it would remain the routine for the foreseeable future because I didn’t know when or if Hope planned to talk to me again.

I stood in the hot shower for about ten minutes, directly under the shower head, and let the water pour down over my head and the rest of my body. That, to me, felt like I was washing away my troubles for the day. I mean I knew it wouldn’t literally get rid of all my troubles, but it was soothing enough to put my mind at ease. Eventually I lathered up a towel and scrubbed myself down then again stood under the stream of water to wash away the suds. By the time I shut the water off, my fingers were all pruned up like a child and I smiled at the sight of them. For whatever reason, it reminded me of when I was a little boy… which was the most wonderful time in my life because I didn’t have to deal with the stresses and worries that’d taken over my life now.

I slid the shower curtain back and snatched my oversized fluffy towel from the rack just outside the tub. Once I wrapped the plushness around my waist and stepped out into the humid bathroom, I didn’t even bother facing the mirror because it was too fogged to see anything anyway. I stepped to the door instead and snatched it open, enjoying the exact moment where the cool air from my bedroom met the steam fighting against it from the bathroom. I wasn’t expecting to set foot in the room and see anyone else in there though… and I certainly wasn’t expecting to step foot in that room and see Hope of all people.

She was sitting politely and randomly at the edge of the bed facing me with her legs crossed casually at the ankles and her hands stretched partially on the bed behind her, propping her up. She was dressed simply in a comfy looking pair of black, pink, and white swirl terry cloth shorts, a white t-shirt that looked like it once belonged to me that also left her belly peeking out playfully at the bottom, and a pair of fuzzy slippers. Her hair was tossed up in a crazy bun at the very top of her head in a way that only she could pull off… she basically looked like the next best thing to perfect.

Her bright cobalt eyes watched me curiously with the hint of a smile in them and I hadn’t even realized how much of a dumbass I must have looked like standing in the middle of the doorway from the bathroom to the bedroom with my mouth hanging halfway open in shock. I didn’t even feel the slack of my jaw dropping until several seconds later and once I felt it, I quickly snapped my mouth shut.

“Hi.” She mumbled sweetly. I missed the fuck out of her voice… I missed the fuck out of her. But for some reason, I couldn’t move or say anything in response to her. Maybe I was still high and this was only my imagination…

“I mean, I don’t mind if you stand there half naked all night… but can you at least say something?” She giggled softly.

She never, ever, failed to get a natural reaction from me so without any thought I smiled and sighed… I’d been holding my breath and didn’t even know it. I seriously had to stop doing that or one day I was really gonna pass out.

“Hey.” I practically whispered.

“How are you?”

I nodded and, once again, momentarily forgot how to speak then abruptly shut my eyes and shook my head instead… she was literally making me go stupid “Good… I’m good. How are you?”

“Tired.” I stared across the room at her, really stared into her face, and felt the sudden bullets of guilt hitting me right in the chest… she did look tired. She looked like she hadn’t been sleeping well for the past few days, if at all. I knew that was because of me and the thought of it made me want to drop down to my knees and beg for forgiveness.

“I’m sorry Hope…”

“Do you have some time to talk before you go to bed?” She cut me off suddenly and I didn’t hesitate to nod my head in response. I had all the time in the world to talk to her, if she’d let me. I made a move to go take a seat over on the bed, but she laughed and I caught her eyes gazing at my chest, which immediately had me feeling self-conscious so I stopped in my tracks and glanced down at myself. I was still dressed only in a towel… I blushed with embarrassment.

“Let me uh… let me put on some clothes really quick.” I mumbled. She continued to giggle and nodded her head, but kept her eyes glued to me as I quickly shifted to my tall chest of drawers in search of a pair of underwear, socks, and basketball shorts. Rushing back into the bathroom, I yanked the towel from around my waist and got myself dressed in record time before casually walking back into the room. I didn’t want to seem too anxious to talk to her, though I really was, so I put all my focus into remaining as calm as possible as I made myself comfortable several feet away from her on the bed.

We sat there in silence for some time, her staring off into space and absently swirling a hand around the span of her stomach… me, watching quietly from the corner of my eye.

“Baby girl will be here any day now…” She said, seemingly to no one in particular, “Apparently, I should be nesting right now, or at least that’s what my aunt says anyway. But instead… I’m here trying to figure out if the father of my child is really ready for this.”

My brows furrowed on their own accord and this time I actually turned my head completely to face her. I opened my mouth to say something, but the way she sat there smiling and shaking her head confused me too much and I was left stuck on stupid, unable to form a complete sentence.

“At my first appointment when I got back down here, I asked you if you were ready for this… if this was what you wanted. You said you did, more than anything in the world… it sure doesn’t seem that way Chris…”

“Listen Hope, I’m sorry about what happened at your Aunt’s…” My heart was slowly beginning to pick up a rapid pace and I was starting to get concerned about the route she was about to take this conversation.

“We’ll touch on that in a minute, but that’s not what’s got me wondering,” She cut me off with a dismissive shake of her head and a sudden thoughtful expression appeared on her face, “You know, maybe you are ready for this… but perhaps you’re just not ready to be in a relationship…”

I thought my eyes were going to bulge right out of their sockets… I could feel the bewildered expression taking over my once calm demeanor. I glared at the side of her face, because she had yet to look at me, and did everything in my power not to blurt out ‘what the fuck’.

“What are you talking about? Hope, please don’t do this to me again.”

She shook her head and giggled again, though I found not a damn thing funny “I’m not doing anything to you that you aren’t already doing to yourself Chris.”

I didn’t understand what she was saying at all, so I sat there quietly, eyes still trained on her because even if she was getting ready to ruin my life for the second time she was too beautiful for me to not look at her.

“You don’t want to be in a relationship right now, that’s obvious to me. You know, it is totally possible to go out with your friends, have fun, hell get drunk and turn up and all of that… but still remember to respect what you have at home. Chris, you haven’t changed… in more ways than one, you are still exactly the same. And that wasn’t the point of you going away for as long as you did. That wasn’t the point at all. In the span of one night, you managed to ruin everything that you’d worked so hard for…”

“Hope please tell me what the hell you’re talking about! I didn’t fucking ruin anything…” I suppose I hadn’t realized it at first, but I was standing now. It felt like everything from my chest up was on fire and my stomach twisted in a way that made me feel like I was going to throw up. I paced back and forth in front of her and she kept a close eye on me until I stopped a few feet away from her and suddenly I felt like a crazy person.

“Please don’t curse at me…”

“Please don’t break up with me!” I blurted. She sat there staring at me, eyes drooped with sorrow, as I stared right back only seconds away from breaking down.

“Don’t do this to me again Hope. I’ve been beating myself up every single second of every day since the night I stupidly chose to go out. I shouldn’t have gone out that night, at all, I know that… but I didn’t do anything Hope, I swear to you I didn’t do anything to jeopardize this.”

“I should have never pushed you to go out in the first place, it’s more my fault than anything…” She started.

“Baby, it’s not your fault…” I made a move to get closer to her, but if my eyes weren’t mistaken I could have sworn I saw her flinch.

“The girl that was texting you, who was she?” She asked after staring up at me for a while.

“I honestly don’t know who she was and I don’t know how she got my number, because I do not remember giving it to her. The boys and I were in a section for most of the night, but I went downstairs to the restroom with Dontay and that girl just walked up to me. After that, her and her friends followed us up, but I didn’t think anything of it because I figured they could go chill with Don and Rashad. Kendrick, BJ, and I were all huddled up in a corner, almost too afraid to even be in the section with them.”

“And you have no idea how she magically got your number? Or, tell me this… maybe you can recall which one of your friends was a ‘cock blocker at the strip.’”

She recited the exact words from one of the messages that girl sent me and I shut my eyes. If I could find that damn girl right now and strangle her ass with my bare hands, I would. I hated her more than anything in life, because I wanted it to be her fault that my entire relationship was on the line right now… but truth be told, I knew it was no one’s fault but my own.

“They went to the strip club with us afterwards…” Hope huffed and rolled her eyes, hard, with pure attitude as she started to push herself up from the edge of the bed, “Hope please!”

“Please my ass nigga, get out of my way!” I almost laughed at what she said and the way she said it because I’d never heard her speak that way in my life, but I was too busy rushing to the bedroom door to block it because she was up now and on the move, “Chris move, now.”

“I was fucked up, I was very fucked up. That’s not an excuse at all, I know, and I’m not trying to make any excuses… I’m being nothing but honest with you right now. I was drunk out of my mind and at that point we’d smoked several blunts so I was not in my right mind. The girl got on my lap, she tried to dance on me, she even tried to kiss me, but I could barely fucking move or even see straight and I was practically passed out in a chair until Kendrick rushed over and damn near yanked her ass off me. They got me out of there after that because even they have enough respect for you not to let me be a drunk fuck up and ruin everything I’ve worked my ass off to get back with you. I fucking love you, I love you Hope! I love you with every fiber of my being, every ounce of blood running through my body, every breath that I take… I love you, why don’t you understand that? I would lay down, right now, and die for you. I would take every bullet on earth for you. If I have to go back to that fucking mental institution for another six months and do that fucked up shit all over again to prove to you just how much I love you, I would. I would take a knife and carve it right here across my got damn heart. I… I… please…”

I was breathing hard, wheezing, hyperventilating, and crying. My head felt like it was going to explode as I sucked in air desperately and kept my body pressed against that door like my life depended on it. I couldn’t let her leave… because then she wouldn’t come back.

She was standing there, crying right along with me, breathing just as hard… shit, I didn’t mean to get her worked up like that. Suddenly I felt a dull throb in the center of my chest, followed by another, then another. I thought I was having a fucking heart attack, until I looked down and realized she was punching me. Her hands were flailing, punching, and slapping and she was crying.

“You don’t love me! You say that because it’s convenient. You say it because you think it’ll make me stick around and keep dealing with your shit. You haven’t changed Chris, so fuck you! That girl sent you a picture of her breasts Chris… her naked breasts, because you gave her your number! You’re an asshole and you don’t care about anyone but yourself. Fuck you, I hate you! You hurt me every chance you get, because you’re selfish. I hate you… I fucking hate you!”

Her punching and slapping hands went from my chest, to my shoulders, to my face and I did nothing more than stand there crying and holding my arms up to at least attempt to block my face. I really should have just stood there and took it like a man because I deserved every bit of this. Her hands were all over the place and somewhere in there I felt a searing thread of pain on the side of my neck as well as my right cheek. She was scratching me now.

Deciding to end this before she got herself entirely too worked up and induced her labor right here in my room, I dropped my hands for a split second which left my face totally exposed. And in that split second alone, she managed to swing a closed hand and it connected with an impact I didn’t even know she could produce with my left eye. That punch made me feel like I was in the middle of the ring with Mike Tyson and I damn near cried harder. But I needed to get her calm before shit escalated even more.

“Hope, stop it!” I quickly reached out for her still flailing hands and by the grace of God I was able to grab ahold of both of her wrists and I pulled them up to my chest and held her against me. She was crying so hard her entire body was trembling and she wheezed hard against my bare chest. She continued to mutter harsh things like “I hate you”, “Fuck you”, “You never loved me”, and “I wish you weren’t the father of my child” and though I knew that she was just extremely upset, everything she was saying was committing itself to my memory and the shit hurt. It killed me to hear her say things like that and whether she was speaking from anger or not, she said it… and it hurt.

We stood there for a while, cuddled together at the door because I was too afraid to let go of her and suffer a potential concussion from another punch to the face. I could feel the moisture from her tears trickling from her cheeks to my chest as she kept her forehead meshed against me and I kept my head tilted back against the door and blinked rapidly, with hopes that I could get control over my own tears and fight the throbbing pain in my eye. She was slowly beginning to relax against me and as usual, her heart shattering cries were beginning to die down to whimpers. Dropping my head down, I stared at the top of her head then cautiously leaned in close to the side of her face with my head in the corner of her neck.

“I’m sorry Hope.”

Though she kept her head down and her forehead pressed against my chest, I could still hear the unmistakable chuckle as she shook her head “You’re always sorry… you are sorry.”

If only she knew just how slowly she was killing me with her words right now.

Lifting her head suddenly, she went to take a step back from me, but I still had a firm grip on her wrists “Let me go.”

I wasn’t trying to set her off by not abiding by her request, so hesitantly I uncuffed her arms and discreetly kept my arms situated in a way to protect my head if she went swinging again.

“No one is going to hit you,” She barked, finally raising her head to glare at me through red and swollen eyes, “Move.”

My mind, again, was screaming at me to get the fuck out of the way and let this girl out before she took her attack to my lower region next, but my heart and all its illogicalness kept me grounded and refusing to move. I didn’t even say anything, just stood there peering down at her quietly until she got the hint and twirled around with a huff to make her way back over to the bed.

“I was trying to make this easier for you by walking out and never coming back, but since you just refuse to get out of my damn way, I’ll just break it to you now… we really cannot do this anymore. You haven’t changed and I’m sick and tired of you always telling me how sorry you are. Do you see me right now Chris? I’m almost at full term in this fucking pregnancy… I cannot afford for you to be sorry anymore.”

My left ear was ringing, because I think she slapped me in it, but I still managed to hear what she’d said “What are you talking about?”

“We jumped back into this relationship entirely too fast. We didn’t even sit down and talk about it… it was just assumed that we would be together because you got out of that institute and I thought you were doing better. But you clearly haven’t changed, at all. You almost punched me in my damn face in that kitchen…”

“I wasn’t gonna hit you Hope, are you serious?”

“Just like how you weren’t gonna rape me, but you did, didn’t you?”

The thickest layer of silence consumed the entire room at that precise moment and I got stuck staring at her with my mouth hanging halfway open. I had no words… I had nothing. She’d taken every morsel of my manhood, my pride and ego, even my ability to speak and crushed it right in that moment. I never thought I would see the day when she would bring that up, and in the harshest way possible at that. She threw it right in my face and I couldn’t do a damn thing but stare at her, too stunned and shocked to form any logical words to say. She was absolutely right… she had every right to throw that back at me… because that is exactly what I’d done to her. I raped her and up until this moment, I was falsely under the impression that she’d forgiven me and moved on… but clearly, I was wrong.

“What have I been thinking, moving forward with you like this even after finding out that I was pregnant. The moment I found out, I should have hightailed it out of there and got the fuck away from you, but before I could guess what you did Chris… you raped me, while I was pregnant with your child. And is it bad to say that I hoped I’d lost the baby? When I got back to my room, I bled so hard from what you’d done to me, but I thought I had a miscarriage… and I hoped I had. I didn’t want to bring a baby into this world with you, not after that. I never even wanted to see you again, but there I was only a couple months pregnant with your child so I knew there was no way I could get away from you.”

I don’t exactly remember when, but sometime during her rant I’d slithered down along the closed door and ended up sitting on the floor with my knees raised, elbows propped against them, and my head resting in my hands as she sat there and tore my soul to shreds. Was this really happening? Was this even reality? I felt like I was in the middle of a horrific dream… like the devil was riding my back and I had no way of waking myself up to make this end. Shit, what had I done? What was she doing… she was killing me quickly and painfully, that’s what she was doing.

“But one day, I had a huge reality check… I put on my big girl panties and really sat and thought about what I was getting myself into. I fell in love with my baby, in a way that I have never experienced in my life, and she’s not even here yet. After you broke me down the way that you did, killed my confidence with your constant cheating by making me think I wasn’t good enough for you, then raping me as punishment for leaving you… I realized my baby was the only thing I had. I understood that this little girl would be the only person I could count on to love me unconditionally, purely, without question or doubt. You see, you claim that you love me Chris… but there’s no way you could ever love me like this and there’s no way that you could love me period because you don’t hurt the ones that you love the way that you hurt me.”

I sat there with my head still slumped in my hands, staring at the carpet beneath me… too stunned to do anything more than that. I didn’t even have it in me to cry, I was just that stunned. So, this is what she randomly popped up in my room to do? She came to take the tiny ounce of sanity and love that I had left and destroy it… for the second time? Like… was I missing something? I know I had gone out to the club and came in close contact with some random hoe, I know the girl somehow got a hold of my number and texted me inappropriately, I know that had everything to do with why Hope continued to lack so much trust in me… but I didn’t know any of this. She completely blindsided me with all these harbored feelings and it made me feel sick to my stomach. Like, I just wanted to spontaneously combust right there on the floor because I didn’t know any of this… and I wish she hadn’t revealed it all to me.

I should have died that night… the night I raped her. I killed every ounce of trust she ever had in me all in that one night, yet I managed to walk away from it all with the blessing of life and I didn’t even deserve it. My purpose of coming to terms with surviving my suicide attempt was her… nothing and no one else, but her. But, apparently, she was officially here today to make it very clear just how much she didn’t want me. So, what was I supposed to do now? And the cake topper to it all… the shit fucking happened while she was pregnant with my daughter. And after it was all said and done, she resented the baby because of me. She initially didn’t even want to go through with the pregnancy… because she was totally against the thought of bearing my child.

I started to chuckle after a while and that eventually morphed into full blown laughter because I was in such shock at all that’d just transpired. I could feel her staring at me, but I only continued to hold my head down in my hands and laugh. It was either that, or cry, and I was tired of constantly crying in front of her, so I just laughed and shook my head.

“So… that’s how you really feel about me…” I muttered through my insane laughter, “And you hate me, right?”

“I don’t hate you Chris…” She mumbled, but I quickly shook my head faster, which stopped her from speaking.

“Oh but you do. You already said it… right after you attempted to claw my face off and gave me this busted eye.” I finally pried my face out of the palm of my hands and looked up at her and she gasped softly and frowned. Of course I had yet to see how much damage she’d done, but by the look on her face I could tell it wasn’t too pretty. I could feel my eye throbbing and swelling and the scratches were really burning, but it was okay… I deserved every bit of it, plus more.

“I don’t hate you Chris…” She repeated, pushing herself up with a soft grunt from the bed. I watched as she waddled over to me and carefully made her way down to the floor a few feet away. She sat Indian style and took a moment to catch her breath, all while I watched her with my head pressed back against the door.

“I don’t hate you…” She repeated, yet again. But that’s all she managed to say… she didn’t go any further into detail, didn’t even try to emphasize why she was saying that and exactly what she meant.

“But you don’t love me…” I whispered. Again, she didn’t say anything else and my heart broke. It ripped right in half and for all of five seconds, I think I truly died just sitting there in her presence. Too much time went by that we both sat in silence with my statement still lingering in the air and her not responding… did she really not love me? God, what did I do to deserve this?

Nibbling quietly into the inside of my bottom lip, I stared at her and really tried to understand what I was missing. I couldn’t come up with anything… this literally had to be a joke, because nothing was making sense anymore.

“Please tell me you’re joking Hope. Please…”

“Chris, stop it…”

“Tell me that you’re joking. You don’t love me?”

“I do love you…” She sighed, finally uttering the words reluctantly.

“Then why are you doing this to me? I don’t understand what’s happening. I thought I was getting better… I’ve been trying, so hard, to be better but I can’t do it without you Hope. I can’t do any of this without you, come on man.”

“We just rushed into this too quick. We didn’t even bother to try to figure out if we even wanted to be in a relationship again…”

Maybe I wasn’t the one losing my mind… maybe it was her… “What do you mean we didn’t try to figure it out? What is there to figure out? I know that I want to be with you. I know that I don’t want to be with anyone else. I know this… I don’t need to try to figure anything out about that.”

“Chris,” She started, but stopped abruptly to take a deep breath and shake her head, “I don’t know that I understand how to be in a relationship with you anymore.”

Dropping my head back against the door, I shut my eyes and imagined that I wasn’t here and that this wasn’t my reality. This wasn’t how our story was supposed to end. This was supposed to be the part where I apologized to her for how I’d reacted in her aunt’s kitchen earlier this morning and she forgave me and told me she would always be there with me through this new life journey. She was supposed to hug me, cuddle me up to her breasts and hold onto me as she made yet another promise to never leave my side. I was supposed to feel relieved because through whatever trials and tribulations I faced, I knew she would always be right there and that’s all that was supposed to matter… she was there, no one else mattered but her.

But that’s not how the story had just ended. It ended with her telling me that she didn’t understand how to be with me… didn’t understand how to be with a mentally ill person. I was a foreign person to her now and she wasn’t willing to hold onto her promise anymore. I’d put her through so much bullshit and became such a drastically different person… she was now fully prepared to give up on me.

“I love you Sy’Diyah… I always will. There are no excuses for all that I’ve put you through. I regret the day that I asked you to be my girlfriend, because it’s been nothing but a downward spiral since then. I didn’t mean to taint your world the way that I have… you deserve nothing less than a fairytale ending and I… I guess I can’t give you that. But, whether you believe me or not… I always have and always will love you. You are the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

She was crying, I could hear her sniffling softly but I couldn’t bring myself to face her. I’d done enough damage to her and I couldn’t stand to see the tears that I’d caused… couldn’t stand to see the emotional distress that I’d inflicted… couldn’t stand to watch the love of my life shed tears of anguish because of me.

“Chris, I don’t know what to do…” She mumbled. My eyes were still shut, but once I registered what she’d said I slowly pried them open and peered at her, “I love you too, you know that. I don’t want to not be with you, but I don’t know how to do this anymore.”

“Then don’t Hope. If it’s not what you want, let it go… let me go. I’m not gonna force you to be with me…”

“You don’t have to force me to be with you, if I choose to be with you.”

My brows furrowed and I finally lifted my head completely from the door to stare at her “If you choose to be with me? But you just said you don’t know if you want to be with me because you don’t understand how to anymore…”

“Well then show me how Chris. Show me how to love you… make me understand what it takes to be your woman and love you the way that you need to be loved.”

What the hell was happening? One minute she’s literally sitting there snatching my heart right out of my chest and crushing it with no remorse, the next minute she’s telling me that she loves me and that she chooses to be with me. Her emotions were clearly all over the place and at this point I didn’t know what she wanted and it was starting to fuck with my head.

“I’m an emotional mess you know? Freakin’, eight months pregnant and I still can’t get a grip on my emotions. I don’t know if I want to be sad, angry, happy, mad… I never know how to feel anymore because I can literally sit here and laugh about something and cry about that same thing seconds later. Sometimes I feel like I hate you and I want nothing to do with you, then I feel like you’re the most amazing man and I love everything about you. It’s a rollercoaster with me, I know that, but… I would really like to take things slow. You have to be patient with me and I have to learn to be patient with you. This thing won’t ever be perfect, right? But it’s clear that we both have some growing to do and I would love it if we can learn to grow together.”

My lips were twisted to one side with thought and I stared down at the floor for a while as I really considered what she was saying. I mean, she was right… we would never be perfect, but one thing I knew for sure was that we would always be perfect for each other.

With a sigh, I lazily pushed myself up from the floor and stuck my hands out for her to grab onto to pull herself up. Once she got up on her feet, we both stood there in an awkward silence for a while. She kept her eyes trained on the floor and I kept mine, of course, trained on her. She stepped forward abruptly and wrapped her arms around my naked torso and I pulled her in closer by wrapping my arms around the back of her shoulders.

I didn’t know what life was like before Hope, I’d known her since I was nine years old and I chose to forget about everything before that because nothing was good in my life until I knew her. I was in love with her then and I was even more in love with her now. One thing was for sure, every day would be an adventure for us. Some days might be more difficult than others and some might be unbelievably beautiful. I leaned my head back against the door and shut my eyes, basking in the feeling of her face pressed right up against the thud of my heart. It was a sentimental moment for me, really… she was standing there listening to the melody of a heartbeat that was only for her.

TBC...

#chrisbrown #chrisbrownff #chrisbrownfanfic #jasminesanders #chrisbrownfanfiction #jasminesandersff #teambreezy #teambreezyff #fanfiction #fanfic

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cutiecrates · 4 years ago

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Cutie Reviews: NMNL April 20

Okay, so something’s wrong with my front page picture. Instead, we’ll change things up a teensy bit, and I’ll make the front image the April Glam Gift set.

This month’s theme is Stay Home, Stay Fabulous

“This month we wanted to curate a beauty box that includes just what you need to give your hair and skin a boost at home, while also including adorable makeup products so you can glam up when you feel like it!“

Glam Gift and Photo Prize

So as you saw above, our GG for this month was based around Witch’s Pouch, a brand that happens to stay classy with a touch of cute whimsy. The products are a variety of cosmetics and some extra useful items, such as primer and cleansing pads.

Meanwhile, the Photo Prize consists of these super-cute Line and A Peach lip balms. They look so deliciously adorable~

For this month, the horoscope was “Which at-home Beauty Activity should you try?“. These are what it suggested:

Aries - Funky wash-out hair color

Taurus - Make a DIY clay mask

Gemini - Organize the makeup collection

Cancer - DIY bath bombs

Leo - Clean your makeup brushes

Virgo - DIY hair mask

Libra - Try Japanese nail art

Scorpio - DIY lip scrub

Sagittarius - Do a face massage

Capricorn - Use a pore strip

Aquarius - Clean the makeup drawer

Pisces - Try an artsy makeup tutorial

Which activity did you get? Which one have you tried? Or if none of these apply to you, what would you like to try?

Pores Clear Pack Peel Off & Foot and Heel Peeling Mask

Our first two items are peeling packs, but for different parts of the body. First, we’ll begin with the pore pack, which comes from the brand Porez. It’s applied directly from the bottle and is made from Moroccan lava clay and charcoal to absorb pore impurities while cleaning the nose.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Honestly I’m not sure if it really does much, other then help pull up some more loose/dry/flaky skin from my nose. It always feels nice after I apply some facial product though. It has a strong scent, I’m not really sure how to describe it.

It goes on pretty easy but until you get the hang of it, you can expect it to be a little blotchy, and if you’re not careful you could have a wet layer beneath a dry layer, rather then satisfyingly removing it all at once. The hole it comes out of can also be kind of messy, but it’s easy to clean up.

- - - - -

I was super-excited for this next item :D we don’t get foot peeling packs very often (in fact it’s been like 2 years since I did it last, if not longer).

This one features a little cute panda motif and is made from natural extracts of fruits and herb. What makes this pack fun is that not only do you apply the product to the socks yourself, but they include cute paw print sticker/tape strips to help hold them on.

Alright, so it’s only been about 3 days since I used them. The description says it takes anywhere from 4-6 days before the skin begins to peel, so I’m not going to be rating this one yet. I’ll have an update on it when something starts to happen in a future post. But for now I’ll say it smells wonderful prior to putting it on, right after removing it, the scent is still there but there was also a very strong alcohol scent overtaking it. It really irritated my nose DX

Mediheal Hair Sheep Steam Pack

I was also really excited for this one, simply because a few Youtubers I watch have tried it out. It’s always kind of fun to get a product you recognize :3

This product promises to leave your hair feeling silky and shiny after use, and it “heats up“ to help repair damage like split ends, and frizzy dryness. It contains items such as goat milk and hydrolyzed collagen.

♥ ♥

So... I have mixed feelings about this one. It’s really cute and sounds kinda fun, it also has a decent scent. But I really don’t think it actually did anything for me (but to be fair, it’s about a year old, that could be why?), and it kind of felt like an inconvenience. After you wash your hair you have to towel dry it, then put this on for so long, and rinse it out. My dad of all people had to help me put it on too, because I was having trouble keeping it open (product is inside of it) and hold my hair up.

Animal Beating Net

Next up is this ultra-cute looking sponge that comes shaped as a froggy, bear, fish, or ducky! It also includes a small mesh-ish net that you put the little sponge into and wet, then you apply a facial cleaner or soap to foam it up nice and good. This was made to increase the foam/lather while cutting down on how much product gets used.

It’s silly but I hesitated a little to open the package; it’s so cute looking, I didn’t want to ruin it... but I did, and I set my little froggy free.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Initially, I didn’t really think much of it, but the more I was using it the more fun I found it to be. It’s so cute, and yeah you have to clean it up afterwards, but that’s besides the point. You get a good amount of lather, and you can keep re-foaming it with a bit more water if you need more.

Arm Massager

This item comes from the brand Tsubosh. It’s available in this really light pinkish color or white. You roll it around the shoulder or wrist to loosen the joints and pressure points.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I wasn’t really sure if this was doing anything honestly. But because of my stiffened joints and aches as of late, I feel like it’s been helping that a little bit. My mom (who is still bedridden, but she’s capable of standing and using crutches now, and she can walk a teensy bit) really likes it too, and she’s been using it as a make-shift weight to lift.

Tinted Lip Balm, Bubble Lip Pack, & Heart Blossom Blush

I really didn’t need to cram all 3 of these into one picture, but I don’t hate it.

First we’ll begin with the blusher, which comes from one of my favorite brands, Etude House. This is a limited edition for spring, featuring a cute heart-shaped window and flowers etched into the blush. It’s soft with a faint shimmer, and was available in two colors: Attracted Love or Unrelenting Spring.

At least the booklet says. Mine is listed as the color Just Clicked on the box it came in. It’s a sort of... coral-ish color.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Well it gets high cuteness points. It’s also really pretty, and the container it came in makes me feel so fancy~

The color itself sort of worried me, given how orangey it looks. But when I applied it on my cheek, I noticed it’s not nearly as pigmented as it was on my fingers (you’re supposed to use a brush or puff or something but I didn’t have one nearby), so it sort of just added a natural looking glow to my cheeks.

- - - - -

This cute little lip pack comes from Choosy, a well-known lip-based brand that we’ve seen countless of times within these cosmetic boxes. This was really fun, it was just like using one of those foaming face masks, but on your lips, and it has a lovely mint scent!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I really, really like this. It’s not a long-term product as far as I can tell, but it’s really fun to use and it smells so good. My lips feel refreshed after using it, especially when you apply a little bit of lip balm afterwards.

Also, I’m not really sure but I think you can use this multiple times. You can’t reseal it, but you get so much product, I can’t imagine using it all at once. It only takes a little swipe to fully cover my lips. Even days later, it’s still fresh and works fine.

- - - - - -

Our final item and probably my most favorite of the bunch is this kawaii Pokemon heart-shaped lip product from IT’S DEMO. I like this brand too, although I don’t see it nearly as much as some others.

Each tin has it’s own flavor and color, and feature unique Pichu/Pikachu themed artwork. There was:

Blue - Peach

Pink - Cherry

Green - Candy

Yellow - Citrus

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I love love LOVE this! It smells amazing, and it’s so ultra-cute ♥

However, I don’t know if it’s because it was sitting around for a year or what, but mine seems to have a “jellied lip balm film“ over it. I’ve never really seen anything like it before. Also, the lid is fairly loose. It rests on the tin well enough, but if you hold the lid, it slides off. Depending on the angle, it seems to stay on slightly longer, but other times it comes right off. Only if you hold it by the lid though, it doesn’t randomly pop up if you’re not touching it or anything.

I wish I could get the other three still~

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5. I liked everything, it was very fun and cute. There are a couple of things I think I may have liked a bit more in our previous box, but I like this one about the same. Even that sheep steam pack that seems not to have worked at all; as I said it could be my fault for not using it sooner. I’m super-excited for the foot peeling to begin!

Theme: 5 out of 5. I suppose? I’m not entirely sure how to judge this one, but it’s all stuff you can use in the home.

Total Rank: 9 out of 10. Everything worked, maybe not to the extent of what was guaranteed, but I still liked it all. The theme wasn’t all that special or anything, but it wasn’t a bad idea either. Everyone should be allowed to feel beautiful inside and out, in the house or outdoors.

For now, that concludes this review :3 I just got my Gacha Gacha crate while I was working on this, and I’m planning on getting it done tomorrow. So until then, stay cute!

#nmnl #cutie reviews

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ayahne · 7 years ago

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i can’t write, i say as i write 8 pages on Word

I discussed this simple little idea i had with @adelmortescryche from 2AM to 5AM and now it’s not a little idea. A lot of ideas thrown mostly randomly together on the same fic idea i will never write cause i write baaaad.

I call it : EdRi!!! On Para-Ice

- When Yuuri arrives at Wayne State to major in buisness and become a pro skater, he meets the four people with who he's going to share lodging.

- Ling is his age, he's a Xingian diplomat son that want to keep it low-key, and he's majoring in political science. He's a funny, eccentric kind of guy, and he makes Lan Fan mad.

- Lan Fan is « totally not » his body guard, and she's majoring in chemistry. She's a strange blend of calm and hot-temper. He likes her.

- There's also Phichit, ; he's younger, but so nice and enthusiastic ; he wants to do photography. (he's Thai and doesn't speaks much english, but everyone helps him and stick colored notes cards to everything and he learns quickly).

- And there's Edward Curtis, who is half cyborg, hot tempered, foul mouthed and full of shit and loyalty. He's younger than him, but more advanced than him in his studies. (« He's a genius », explains Lan Fan.) They got on like a house on fire.

- Strangely, even if they're so different from each other, they share the apartment fine. Lan Fan and Ed go run in the mornings, Ling cooks, Yuuri and Phichit go to the ice ring... They fit.

- Ed is a bit hyperactive, and when Lan Fan is too occupied to spar with him, he gotta finds something to do. (« No Ed, you can't punch people in the face. ») He visits Yuuri and Phichit at the ice ring, and he tries a bit of skating ; it's challenging, he likes it.

- Yuuri starts to teach him simple figures : a single-toe-loop, a sit-spin... Ed spend his time falling on his face because the automails are destabilizing him, but he's tired and happy when he masters a new move. From there, you can't stop him. Skating becomes the escape to his problems, and the guilt he feels.

- He comes to every of Yuuri's event to cheer him on ; he manage the panic attacks like it's nobody's buisness, and Yuuri starts to feel more confident. It's great time, they have fun.

- But one day, there's an accident ; the huge score board fall on Yuuri that just finished his routine. They have to amputate his arm.

- Ed has lived this before, and acts quick. He's there through everything, the hospital ride, the hospital stay, the therapy. With the others, he persuades Yuuri to get an automail (« Hey, we match now. ») He never let him wallow in his depression, and he puts him back on his skates with his therapist acceptance.

- They fight, with all the others, through Yuuri's terror of the ice, and slowly, slowly, he finds back his love for the ice ; he starts to skate again, to being confident. Ed does it all with him, he's his crutch. (« I miss two limbs. If i can do it, you can do it better. » And Yuuri does.)

(beware of the cut)

- "dude you can fucking make a quint and fly on the ice " says Yuuri "dont care still jealous" answer Ed, and they laugh and Phichit posts it on instagram

- Yuuri's like, welp, if you can do it, I should at least try and everyone screams NO because he's older than Ed. Except Ed, who's rolling his eyes being like, he could totally do it, he's older than me and just as flexible.

- They're both ULTRA flexible

- Cue Ed teaching Yuuri how to make some of his fighting moves on ice

- Cue Yuuri teaching Ed more quads

- All those EdRi comments. The first few are just fujoshi slobbering over them and their bromance, then someone who actually knows something about skating figures out what they're seeing and they sCREAM.

- And the skating fandom has a meltdown.

- Phichit posting out of context photos, like warming up when they're in weird yoga poses, and it seems a bit more intimate than it is.

- With tags like '#MySmolSonsBeFlexi' '#MustNotLetEdSeeTagsHeWillSlayMe'

- Phichit and all the others being DEADLY TIRED than his frighteningly prodigious friends not getting recognition just because they've got automail.

- Doesn't people realise that automail makes it harder ?

- “It's easier with automail ?” * Ed proceeds to detach his own arm and dump it on the stupid fuck's lap who crumble under the weight. * “Try lifting something that weight more than yourself higher than your head, and even spin with something ressembling grace when you have a brick instead of an arm”.

- Pole dancing class as part of the automail recovery therapy. Yuuri smiles, and he's like, this was totally for medical reasons.

- The ports gets cold and hurt when they're too long in the ice ring, so for when they train Phichit knitted them horrible arm socks (and leg sock for Ed). Knitting is not Phichit forte, and the mitts are ridiculous at best.

- Yuuri's favorite is a kaki monstruosity with purple polka dots, orange stripes, and some brown squiggles that are supposed to be flowers.

- Ed's are one atomic pink with red hearts on it, and a blue one with barely recognisable hamsters.

- The photos of them with it become viral.

- He decides to go back to competing, and he slays the handisport section. He wins all of the gold medals in the juniors, and then in the seniors.

- He's got a new coach ; she's pretty, kind and maternal, attentive to his anxieties and the fact that Ed is basically is contra-phobic object ; she's perfect, and exactly what he needs. Her name is Gracia Hugues.

- For his galas, he always do something with Ed (and either they do funny shit things, either they some mind-numbing show of skills mixing Ed's talents in flying martial arts and Yuuri's adaptability- anyways they're breathtaking)

- There's a fanbase dedied to their bromance, and some people do RPF with them.

- Ed browsing deviantart and diying a little bit (but save the nice, bro, safe ones on his phone.)

- Yuuri reading fanfictions, selecting the crack fics and the AUs to laugh with Ed, Phichit and Lin. (and Lan Fan. She's there, silently laughing)

- They're so much more low key about the bromance than Phichit and Yuuri that people have a lot more opinions about their bromance. And are sure it's a romance.

- Yuuri obviously finds it hilarious.

- Ed and Yuuri doing shit like this on purpose.

- One day on tv, some jackass ask if he doesn't miss his limbs, and Ed answers "thats equivalent exchange" while looking at Yuuri. The shippers goes mad, Yuuri goes awww cause he knows Ed meant it very innocently

- They only pop up in Phichit, Ling, and Yuri social medias because they dont take vids themselves or photos and even less post them

- One day, there's an hORRIBLE rant made by a dude that says that Ed and Yuuri are lucky to have found the other because who would want any of those disgusting cripples

- and they're a bit hurt but not much because they told themselves the same thing since they got their accidents

- But Phichit sees red. He takes THE photo.

- the one after the showers after practice, where you can see skin, soft scars, glinting metal, muscles and cloth making it SFW, and no comment under it like he use to.

- It broke twitter

- (Yuri totally roasted the guy that DARED insult his idol.)

- Roy Mustang is an ex-man-single prodigy. He was adored by the public. When he retired, he decided he wanted to go into Amestrian politics (ie, the Army).

- He's the one that presented his old buddy from the army, Maes, to Gracia. (people all around the world whined when they announced that it was Maes marrying Gracia and not him.)

- Roy isn't sure if he's happy for both his friends because Maes became 1000% more annoying after meeting Gracia. (That's a lie, he loves them both and is more than happy.)

- When he became a state alchemist, his fans where like “fire alchemy ??? U SURE ?”

- Yuri Plisetesky is a die-hard Yuuri Katsuki fan, and he finds it unfair that

1. no same sex couple on the ice, and it sucks because those two could do some pretty awesome shit

2. Ed doesn't compete because not enough money and he don't care much for the competition ; he's there for the fun and for Yuuri

3. he'd love to skate on the same ice as Yuuri but, eh, handi sections and mainstream ones doesn't mix. He hates the federation so much.

4. no one knows about the handi athletes apart of Yuri and Otabek (because he whines at him) and he finds it the most irritating thing in the world, it's a TRAVESTY.

- And just, one day, he goes to Yuuri's ice ring, and he watches him, film him for future reference and manage to catch on film a *quad axel*.

- And the regular skaters, they're like "wait what" when they see the video of the first quad axel in history

- "but we don't know that guy"

- and Yuri goes in a screaming rant about how they're all stupid, it's “FUCKING YUURI KATSUKI YOU HEATHENS HOW DARE YOU FORGET HIM HE COULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST RIVAL FOR GOLD IF NOT FOR THAT ACCIDENT HE HAD TO LEAVE MAINSTREAM SKATING AND NOW YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HIM?!”

- And one day, Viktor, dense fridge that he is, find irl EdRi doing some figures in a public ice ring. He goes to Yuuri, says something like you skate nice, have you considered going pro, and ed punches him because the dunce doesn’t remember sharing the ice with Yuuri

- "I was too fucking kind i should have decked him with the metal one"

- Yuuri is nrgh between "he punched Viktor" and "am i that forgettable"

- Yuuri's also like Ed No Ed Stahp. While smiling happily because spiteful savage Yuuri. Who doesn't want Victor to get hurt, but he forgot.

- "We said no punching, Ed"

- ”Ed we talked about this.”

- ZE discussion they have all the time ; "Can i punch that dick in the dick" "No u cant"

- And he can only punch people if Yuuri is okay with it because everyone deem that if Yuuri thinks a dude deserve to be punched then he deserves it.

- If Yuuri thinks it's time to punch someone then it's time. Yuuri's everyone's moral compass. Except he isn't a good moral compass, because sometimes he's sassy and spiteful.

- Yuuri with really long hair after he stopped mainstream mens singles.

- First he was too depressed to cut it, then he realized it's easier for the automail. The hair gets stuck less in the joints and if they're long you can take them out easier.

- Al and Ed have been apart since they were 8 and 10 and they had the failed transmutation that left Al in a coma for 3 years with nearly no memories of his brother, and Ed without limbs.

- They went to different foster families ; Ed with Izumi and Sig, Al with the Rockbell. And Al doesn't remember Ed much, only what Pinako told him (he loved you more than anything, he was persuaded the accident is his fault)

- Olivia Armstrong is Ed social worker. The whole Briggs team work in social services.

- Ed refusing to search for his bro cause he's sure Al hates him, and, sure, Ed hates himself but not to the point of subjecting himself to that.

- Yuuri comforting him when he has nightmares about it, not saying a thing when Ed cries at night cause he misses Al.

- Phichit stalking the whole internet to update Ed on how Al is doing.

- Al being so admirative of E.Curtis works in "Alchemy Actual". Pinako wince in the background.

- Al finds it hard to connect E. Curtis to his brother because E. Curtis is notoriously secretive. No one knows anything about him.

- Al doesn't watch ice-skating, and isn't much a fan of phichit-chu. And no matter how many times he falls on a video of Edward C. he can't connect either of them to his brother. Pinako's starting to wonder if he's ever going to realise Ed-on-screen and Ed-the-alchemist is Ed his brother. She shighs in exasperation and wonder why he's so dense.

- May being Ling's pint sized badass little sister (one of many but his favorite even if loves giving her shit)

- May is irritating and wonderful and god he wishes he could introduce her to Al.

- May find Al by herself and is like “... most beautiful boy i've ever seen in my entire life omg”

- She posts photo of her and him on insta, and Phichit send them to Ed, he becomes crazy.

- Al being in a perpetual state of “Wait what” concerning her.

- “Beautiful girl came out of no where to talk to me and flirt with me and take pictures with me what'

- She starts talking alkahestry and suddenly he doesn't register her pretty face anymore she's clever who cares about pretty I can talk about alchemy with her !!!

- May finds him adorable

- Cue budding romance while their big brothers are having aneurisms on the side. Yuuri, Phichit and Lan Fan finds it hilarious.

- And at LEAST Ling can interact with his sister and NOW AL but ED REFUSES and he is sad and frustrated so he goes skating cause he has too much energy and "you can't punch people for the lolz Ed"

- Yuuri just sighs and pats him on the back while Ed screams at the sky and goes throwing quads all over the place.

- So frustrated he tries a quint toe loop, but "not a quad axel, i'm stupid but not dumb, only quadsuki can do that"

- Ed having super nice automail that Yuuri offered him with the skating money ("look, we match !", he says, a twinkle in his eyes, echoeing what Ed told him a few years ago.)

- Since Ed doesn't want to see the Rockbell and has a « 0 interaction » policy, Yuuri found that guy that lives in a remote part of Australia that does incredible machinery. They go once a year with the gang.

- Ed considering himself « toxic » to those he loves. Lan Fan decked him in the gut, Ling rolled his eyes so hard it had to be inscribed in a book of records, and Phichit insulted him in Thai. He tried this bullshit with Yuuri exactly once and never did it again.

- Mari straight up hit him with a pan. She reminds Ed of Izumi.("My foster mom hits me with her pan, too.")

- Following that sentence, people start to be suspicious about his foster mom, until they figure out Izumi and Ed love each other. Their love is just... violently displayed. And filled with martial art montages.

- Izumi and Sig already have a biological son when they adopt Ed. Aoi is totaly enamored with his « big brother »

- They adopted another child, a little girl named Nina. Her dad tried to kill her, and as of such she's sick. Her and Al are the reason he started studying organic alchemy in more depth.

- Envy is Ed biological punk rock but so nice older half-brother. He's androgynous and loves confusing people. ("Are you a girl or a boy ?" "no.")

- Envy avoids Al cause he feels guilty too. He felt he shoud have been there for his two lil bro, no matter how angry with their dad he was.

- When Ed and Envy gloom together, Lin/Phichit/Yuuri/Lan Fan comes to hit them and like "no we love you yes we said love shut up, up, we going petting rabbits"

- Hiroko, Izumi and Minako being BFFs and drinking together. It terrifies everyone. They comiserate about their spawns.

- Izumi's kid is in awe of Mari (as he should)

- EdxAngst + Yuuri/coming-to-terms-with-his-anxiety

- "Where did your... special style of skating came from, Mister Curtis ? *behind, a video extract where Ed is doing a double backflip on the ice, before launching into some capoara moves while Yuuri smiles and just cartwheels for the lolz*"

- Roy calling Ed “a backflipping maniac”

- Cuts to Ed doing a triple back flip and a single hand cartwheel or something right after. Just to see the expression on Roy's face.

- Roy having ten cardiac arrest a day. Riza laugh in the distance. (She laughs at his pain all the time)

- "Curtis, when your in an ice ring you spend more time in the air than on the ice, it's not natural"

- One of Phichit most liked photos is one of Yuuri and Ed twirling Elicia around

- Even if Ed isn't an official competitor, he has die hard fans, that calls themselves « Ed's Homunculi », and they're led by 5 people that nicknamed themselves with the primary sins.

- Yuuri snickers at just their mention. Ed complains all the time. (« NO FUCK LET ME GO IM NOT EVEN A PRO DONT PuT YOUR BOOBS IN MY FACE DONT EAT MY HAIR WTF. Why are you all so DISTURBING »)

- Envy founded the fanclub because he finds this deadly funny, now he’s mostly in charge of the social medias. Ed is horrified.

- Scar is married to Lust and follows her everywhere, to every competition sighing all the time.

- THE PRESIDENT OF HIS FANCLUB IS THE FUCKING FURHER OF AMESTRIS

- The idea of Amestris’s Furher being enamored enough with Ed's skating to give himself a stupid nickname kills all of his friends of laughter inside

- Aerugo is near greece

- Xing is in east asia

- Creta is near italia

- Drachma is between finland and sweden

- Amestris between germany and poland, and Ishval between poland and Austria

- Father couldn't arrange another full country array, and eventually decided to let it go.

- Envy's real name is Nichola Elric

- Lust is Veda Campos

- Wrath is King Bradley

- Pride is still Selim Bradley

- Gluttony is named Emilio Abatucci

- Scar is Luca Campos

- Izumi’s kid is named Aoi Curtis

#yoi #fma #edward elric #yuuri katsuki #headcanon #crossover fic #fic #fanfic #sort of ????#my writing #even if i'm not good at english BUT WATHEV'

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goldendream-s · 8 years ago

Text

hurtful words (pt. 4)

summary; as Y/N gets to her last straw and begins to lose hope, she also is faced with choosing to let go of Shawn or to fight for their once relationship one last time.

p.s. i highly recommend reading the previous parts, particularly part three, before reading this! i promise you this part will be so much better for you if you do that ahha

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE

MASTERLIST || REQUEST

The pain was beginning to overcome you, and you felt like you were drowning. Suffocating. You didn’t think there could be any feeling worse than heartbreak, but here you were again — back in square one. All of the pain was still there, though this time, you weren’t just holding a heart torn in two. You now had the note Shawn wrote for you, thoughts of guilt, and the voucher laying on the edge of your bed. The walls you built around your heart had become so high, that when they were knocked down by the letter and finding out that you were too late, you took the hardest fall yet.

Part of you wanted to redeem the voucher and go to the show that Shawn was having in your hometown in four weeks, but the other part was telling you that the universe was working against you and that you should just give up on the boy. You were unsure of which side of your conscience to listen to, but you knew that you had to choose quick. You were done and tired with everything. Tired of crying yourself to sleep every night, tired of blaming yourself, tired of running in circles, and exhausted of your heart getting smashed to millions of pieces every time you tried to pick up the segments to your messy life. Heartbreak changed you, but for the worse. It felt like everything in your life was flipped upside down, but one thing remained the same: you wanted Shawn back.

Groggily sitting up and reaching over to grab the voucher brushing your sock-clad feet, you read the fine print. After a couple minutes of reading, you found what you were looking for and searched up the printed link on your cellphone. You were directed to a QR reading page in which you then hovered your phone over the voucher. The code brought you to a ticket buying site for Shawn’s tour, asking for you to click on the show you were looking to buy tickets for. The whole process took less than five minutes, but it felt like ages as your sleepless eyes burned from the bright screen.

After being directed to page after page, you were finally brought to a screen that had a layout of the stadium Shawn would play at. It instructed you to choose your section and seat. After glancing around at the limited amount of spots left for the nearly sold out show, something caught your eye. There was one seat front and center of the main staged that was blinking red and purely out of curiosity, you moved your finger to click on the seat.

A paged popped to the corner of your screen and read: ‘We are sorry for the inconvenience, but this seat is reserved for the user ‘My Girl’. If you are the listed user, please click the checkmark to redeem your seat. Thank you.’

Confusion struck you as you tried to figure out how you could reserve a seat before even buying it let alone who in the world would put their user as ‘My Girl.’ It was the first time you genuinely smiled in a while, a feeling that now felt foreign to you. Giggling, you had to stop your seat-searching for a minute to regather yourself.

Continuing to laugh, your fun was soon ended when you realized that it could’ve possibly been you. It was a long shot, but Shawn’s favorite thing to do while the two of were dating was to make sure that he let you and everyone know that you were ‘his girl’. It eventually became a name that you grew to love as well, and something he often called you from that point on.

Your mind was circling, but you hesitantly clicked the checkmark, testing to see if your suspicions were correct. Scanning the QR code on the voucher again, you entered in the code that was marked on the bottom of it. If the code worked, that’d mean that the seat was reserved for you. It’d mean that Shawn saved a seat just for you. Twiddling with your fingers as the codes were being processed, you heard a ding meaning that the reserved seat for ‘My Girl’ was indeed for you.

You didn’t know that Shawn would go this far to make sure you’d come to the show, but you were far from flattered. Instead, you felt anxious. If you accepted the front row seat, you’d have to face him again. If you didn’t, you’d probably have no other opportunity to do so again anytime soon. You wanted to see Shawn again, and you felt ready. You didn’t want to regret passing up the chance to talk to him again. The answer suddenly felt so obvious, yet the same questions you were dwelling on the other day came back to overwhelm you in a flood.

Did Shawn still want to see you?

Has he already moved on?

Is it all worth it?

You were soon going to find out at the show. Confirming the tickets, you also redeemed the voucher for a VIP pass. Everything was set in stone. If this was really the last time you were going to try to fix you and Shawn’s relationship, you wanted go out with a bang. You weren’t sure where this sudden confidence was coming from, but you were scared of it to say the least. In less than a month, you were going to be face to face with Shawn.

Going to the calendar app on your phone, you put in the date of Shawn’s concert to make sure you wouldn’t forget. It was nice. The feeling of knowing that you were finally going to face your source of hurt head-to-head gave you a sense of security.

It was just a matter of time before you saw Shawn again, but you didn’t think it’d be in the front row of one of his very own shows.

“Happy birthday to you,” Your friends sang to you as they watched you blow out the candles to the cake they had bought. Three weeks had snuck up on you pretty fast, and before you knew it, you were out of your house to celebrate the special day with your closest buddies. You had practically forgotten about your birthday with everything that your mind was juggling, so when you were randomly blindfolded by your two best friends and told to get into the car, you were surprised and confused to say the least.

As the medium sized crowd began to disperse, you walked around your friend Claudia’s house to thank everyone who organized the surprise birthday party. You were stopped every few minutes by some old friends to catch up and exchange phone numbers. They might’ve not been in your lives as often, but they sure kept up with the media, meaning most of the conversations revolved around you and Shawn. The frown on your friend’s faces when you told them that the two of you were no longer dating opened up wounds that you thought were fully healed, but you tried your best to brush it off.

“There’s the birthday girl!” You were pushed out of your thoughts as you turned around to be greeted by Sophia and Claudia. The two were truly always there for you through everything, and tonight was no different.

“Oh my gosh thank you guys so much for this,” You hugged the two. “You know I would’ve been fine with just a sleepover with my two favorite gals,” You jokingly added.

“Non-sense,” Sophia interjected, “You deserve this for always having our backs.”

“Aww, I love you guys so much!” You gathered your friends into a hug.

“So, any plans for the weekend, because I suggest that the three of us hang out all weekend!” Claudia suggested.

You excitedly nodded your head. “I’m free, and I also second th-” You were cut off by your phone buzzing.

As you pulled your phone out of your denim jacket’s pocket, you almost had to do a double take at what you were reading. On the bright screen of your phone was a reminder telling you that Shawn’s concert was just in five days. You fully remembered that you were going to his show, but it slipped your mind that it was so close to your birthday and this weekend.

“Hey what’s wrong, Y/N? Why the frown? It looks like you just saw a ghost!” Claudia quickly came to question your now pale face.

“So, you guys know how I got those Shawn tickets, right?” You nervously laughed trying to stall as your two best friends anxiously nodded. “Well, please don’t be mad, but it also happens to be this weekend. I had no idea it was this weekend but I can totally skip it to hang out with you two instead.”

Sophia was quick to reply as she and Claudia nodded at each other. “Are you insane? Why would we be mad? We see each other almost everyday, we can save the hang out for another time. You on the other hand,” She pointed at your chest, “Shawn’s only here for the one day he has his concert, so I suggest we help you look all hot for his show. The look on his face when he sees you will be priceless,” She busts out into a fit of laughter.

“This isn’t like the movies, Soph. Besides, I’m just going to look like another face in a sea of thousands. I’ll let you pick out my outfit, but since I know the two of you can get a little out of hand with the makeup, I think I’ll take care of that part,” You giggle as your Sophia and Claudia squeal in agreement.

“Oh my gosh, you look amazing, Y/N. We did an amazing job,” Claudia said as she high-fived Sophia.

You weren’t gonna lie — they did do a great job helping you look your best. You eventually gave in and let them do your makeup, leaving you to choose your own outfit. To go with the bold eyeliner and lashes Sophia put on you, you decided to go simple with a pair of black skinny jeans and an over-sized tee. You knew it was always a look that Shawn loved on you, but it was also always a comfortable outfit for yourself. Deciding to dress up the outfit a little, you added a pair of brown suede booties for your shoes and a delicate gold necklace with a pendant of your initials. Your hair was in loose waves.

You were finally going to see Shawn again and you didn’t know exactly how to feel. What if it didn’t go the way you planned? It was too late to turn back, and you knew for a fact that your two best friends in the driver’s and passenger seat wouldn’t let you go back home. Slipping on your VIP lanyard, you checked your phone for the time. You had already missed the Q&A, but you figured the pass would give you early entrance into the venue. Feeling the car come to a slower pace, you checked yourself with your phone’s camera one more time.

“Thank you guys again for this. I don’t know what I’d do without you two losers,” You chuckled at your two friends for helping you get ready in time.

“Oh, stop with that and enjoy yourself. You can thank us later by buying us drinks,” Claudia laughed while pushing you out of the car parked in front of the venue Shawn would be playing at tonight.

“We’ll be back in two or three hours!” Sophia called from the car. “Have fun, babe!” She laughed before rolling up the window and driving off before you had any time to say anything else.

Tonight was the night

The arena was crowded with screaming and sweaty bodies as Shawn was about to come out on stage any minute. The opening act gave you just enough time to rehearse what you would say to Shawn, and now you just had to play the waiting game. Your palms were sweating and the adrenaline was pumping. Would he know you were here let alone acknowledge you? The chances of him finding you amongst a crowd of 20,000 seemed impossible. Piercing yells continued to flood the room as the lights turned low and a spotlight flashed to the middle of the main stage.

This was it.

A guitar riff began ringing through the arena and a drum started playing in the background. The crowd went extremely wild and you finally looked up, knowing exactly why. Shawn was standing just a few feet away from you, beginning to sing ‘There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back.’ You couldn’t help but notice the obvious: he looked amazing. His delicate curls slightly covering the top half of his forehead, while his button up revealing his stomach every time he’d raise his arms up. Shawn was always a tease, but this was a crime for him to look this good.

You’ve been to numerous of Shawn’s shows before, but never in this perspective in the massive sea of fans. You couldn’t help but break out in a smile and sing along. This was what Shawn always dreamed to do. All of the late nights spent talking about dreams and aspirations, all Shawn would ever go on about was how he wanted an opportunity to share his music like this. There wasn’t a day where he didn’t talk about performing his heart out and wanting to do it for the rest of his life. Seeing his strong passion for music and performing instantly made you happy, and in that moment Shawn came on stage, you knew that there was nothing left to do but be happy for him.

Shawn and you might’ve fell off on a bad note, but that didn’t shadow from the fact that he had great music. You still knew every word to every song of his, and it looked like it would come in handy again.

After the first song was wrapped up, he greeted everyone.

“Hi everyone, how are we doing? I’m going to change up the set-list tonight, but I want everyone in this arena tonight singing their hearts out. If there’s any city that can do it, I know it’s you guys. When you wake up tomorrow morning with your voice gone, I want it to be because you enjoyed tonight and sang your hearts out!” Shawn announced his mini spiel he says every night all while panting. Everyone erupted into applaud and cheers as he went on to sing ‘Kid in Love.’ He looked breathtaking on stage, but you weren’t sure if he’s even seen you yet. Casting your negative doubts to the side, you decided to enjoy the concert like everyone else around you.

A couple of songs later, Shawn hushed the crowd as if he were getting ready to say something else. “This is one of my most favorite parts of the set, and I’d like to dedicate this one to someone very special to me. If you’re in here tonight, just know that I’ll always be there for you. Please sing along if you know the words.” He asked while you heard a chorus of ‘awws’ along with confused remarks.

Was he talking to you? You could only listen to his next song to find out.

Do ya, Do you think about me?

It didn’t take you long to know that Shawn was singing Ruin. The world around you seemed to slow and speed up all at once as it felt like you and Shawn were the only ones in the room of 20,000. The sweet melody of the song flowed through the room, changing the vibe that his previous songs had created.

Do you remember how we felt? ‘Cause I do So listen to me, baby

The lyrics to the song were going in and out of your head. It was like you couldn’t listen to the whole song peacefully without thinking about all of the times you and Shawn had together. Memories of the sparks you felt when you’d kiss Shawn or when the two of you would simply hold hands went through your head. He made you feel so incredible, like every moment you spent with him was another exhilarating roller coaster ride.

And I’m not tryna ruin your happiness, But darling don’t you know that I’m the only one for ya?

Why would he choose this song to dedicate to you? Did he still think of a future with you like you have? Were thoughts of you the only thing consuming his brain the same way he’s been everything you’ve thought about for the past six months? Your mind crossed back to you and Shawn’s first date. You were going through a tough break-up and Shawn asked to take you out to get your mind off of things. He took you to what later became the two of you’s favorite bakery and although it was meant to relieve you of your stress, the night quickly escalated.

“I don’t get you, Y/N! You don’t have to be so scared! Don’t you see? I’m not your ex or any of your past boyfriends! I’m not going to break your heart and leave you in the dirt. I’m not going to leave you hanging and treat you like shit.” Shawn tried to contain his slight frustration at you.

You were naive to think that Shawn wouldn’t eventually break your heart. Even with all of the pent up anger and failed attempts of getting Shawn back, you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at him.

Do you feel the same way? Oh Tell me, babe And, do ya? Do you remember how we felt? ‘Cause I do So listen to me, now

“I don’t know if this is too soon, but if you just give me a chance, I’ll treat you so much better than him. I like you a lot, and I get it if you don’t feel the same. Just let me know before my heart breaks even more because I don’t know how long I could go without knowing that you aren’t mine yet,” Shawn said in a hushed voice, slightly leaning over the table. His eyes were glassy from pouring out so many thoughts and emotions.

You were scared to say the least. You didn’t want your heart broken again, but you trusted Shawn. He’d never do anything to hurt you. In all the time you’ve known him as a person and friend, he’s been your shoulder to lean on, your rock.

“Just please tell me what we are. If you don’t feel the same, just tell me and I’ll leave you alone.”

And I’m not tryna ruin your happiness, baby But darling don’t you know that I’m the only one?

You were hesitant to answer. You hadn’t spoken a single word since Shawn had told you everything he felt.

“Look Y/N, I’m not trying to ruin your happiness. That’s all I want for you. But can’t you see that I’m the only one for you? Love, please don’t go back to that other dick. I’ll treat you like the princess you are. I’d wait a thousand years if I’d have to. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there with my arms out,” He confessed.

Your mind was in a haze at the sudden words he spilled to you, but you knew his words were sincere. You nodded your head and put your hands in his, also putting in your heart.

You felt more safe than ever being around him, and you knew exactly where he got the lyrics for this song, because they were the exact words he spoke to you on that night.

Do I ever cross your mind?

You began tearing up, remembering everything you let go the night you broke up with Shawn. There hasn’t been a night where you haven’t thought about Shawn and everything that the two of you have been through. You felt ashamed for giving up on the two of you so easily in the beginning, because now you were paying the prices.

Snapping out of your trance, you looked up at Shawn. His eyes were closed but you could see the emotion through his face. You could hear the pain and the slight falter in the words he was singing. The crowd and him sang back and forth to each other as he absorbed the emotions and melody. You knew exactly what he was feeling, because you had been enduring through it for the past six months.

The song was about to come to its end as the crowd finished singing back to Shawn.

Do I ever, said I, do I ever, Said I, ohh Do I ever, Do I ever cross your mind? Not tryna ruin your happiness at all

Shawn opened his eyes as you saw them anxiously search around the arena. His fingers were tightly gripping the microphone, his foot tapping the stage. You instantly knew what he trying to do. As his eyes finally arrived to the front row, a frown started to replace his slight grin, disappointment laced in his expression. He looked as if he were about to give up, until time stopped when his frantic eyes met yours. It felt like hours that you two were staring at each other, but he had a set to continue, forcing him to break away.

He mouthed something at you before his band started the next song. It didn’t take much time you to know that he had said ‘I love you.’ You’ve heard it Shawn say it so many times that you memorized the way his face moved as he would say it. You’d always remember the glint in his eyes when he’d look at yours. The way his face would soften, the way his hands would find their way to yours.

The first time the two of you exchanged I love you’s was one for the books. The two of you were at your parents’ house, so they could meet Shawn for the first time, who was then your boyfriend of three months. It was midnight in your house and everyone was asleep except for you and Shawn. You decided to give him a tour of the house, and subsequently ended up on the roof. It was cliche, but spending the next hour gazing up at the stars with Shawn relaxed you. Your legs were tangled in his as his arms were wrapped around your waist and back, gently stroking you into relaxation. It was eating you up, and you knew right then and there that you were ready to tell him how you really felt. You were the first to say I love you after much contemplating, and to your relief, Shawn said it back.

“I don’t know any other way to say this, but I’m falling for you. Hard. I love you, and I don’t know when I realized this, but I know the feeling isn’t going away anytime soon.” You let out your muffled confession against his chest, inhaling his scent for comfort.

“I’m here to catch you. I love you too, Y/N.” Shawn replied, bringing you closer into his tight grip.

It was ironic. Shawn said he was planning to say it as well, but you beat him to it. After that, it was like the two of you couldn’t stop saying ‘I love you’ as if each one was the last.

Shawn sang Roses next, which was weird because he had taken it off his set-list in his European leg of the tour. As he got to the chorus without ever taking his eyes off of you, you knew why he decided to add it tonight. You remember how he asked you out as if it were just the other night.

“Thanks for taking me out, Shawn. I really appreciate what you’ve been doing for me these past few weeks.” You were about to go back into your house but Shawn stopped you when he took out his guitar from the backseat of his jeep.

“Will you let it die or let it grow?” Shawn finished his song as he also pulled out a bouquet of beautiful red roses. This boy was full of surprises.

“Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?”

You nodded frantically and pulled him in for a kiss.

Every motion he made to show that he noticed you and still cared about you slowly stitched your heart together. You weren’t sure if you were just in the moment or being dramatic, but you felt alive again.

He finally finished his set with ‘Treat You Better,’ but your only thoughts were on how you would get backstage to talk to him. The lights beginning to brighten up the room meant that the concert was over and it was your cue to find Shawn. Everything happened in such a blur that you weren’t sure where to go.

“Excuse me ma’am, you can’t exit the venue this way, this is backstage.” The security man told you.

“Please, I’m Shawn’s friend,” Ouch “And I really need to talk to him.” You pleaded with him.

“Sure, I hear that excuse every time. Nice try though. Now please leave before we have to escort you out of here personally,” He chuckles as you’re about to go on your knees to beg him.

“Y/N? Is that really you? I can’t believe you actually came!” You peek over the buff security guard’s shoulders to see Geoff. It’s been awhile, but you’d recognize the giant anywhere.

“You know this girl?” The guard pointed to you, confused.

“Yes, and if you don’t mind, I need to steal her for a second, Jeff.” He replied, taking your hand and practically dragging you backstage.

“You’re here to talk Shawn, right?” You nodded as he continued to guide you through the busy crew. “Figured. You’re all he’s been talking about. Even after you didn’t text him for all that time, he still wouldn’t shut up. Y/N this, Y/N that. He still cares about you a lot, y’know?” Geoff chuckled.

Not sure what to say, you let silence engulf the conversation. As you two arrived to Shawn’s dressing room, Geoff lifted a finger to his lips, signaling for you to stay quiet. The two of you came to a halt, standing under the doorway.

“I can’t believe it Brian, I lost my only fucking c-chance. She’s gone again, because I was too scared to go after her. I lost the girl I’ve been madly in love with for the past two years because I was too scared. Why am I such a piece of shit?” Shawn rambled. His back was to you, but by the quivering of his shoulders, you knew he was either fuming with rage or crying. Maybe even both.

“S-She was right in front of me for an hour and a half, but I couldn’t do anything but s-sing a song that probably sounded like shit to her! I should’ve just flown out to here instead of waiting around for this fucking concert to come along.” Shawn continued.

“Hey, c’mon man, I think you need to hit the showers and get your mind off of things. We have a show tomorrow. Maybe it’s time to get over her?” Brian suggested. He turned around too scared to see Shawn’s reaction and when Brian saw you at the door, a grin instantly grew on his face.

“You have to be kidding me. You’re just going to tell me to get over her like that? Like I haven’t been trying for these past six months? Don’t tell me what to do!” Shawn had to stop to calm himself down. “What are you loo-” Shawn imitated Brian actions and turned around. “Oh.”

“We’ll leave the two of you to talk,” Geoff said, waving his hand for Brian to follow.

You walked over to him, sitting on the couch across from him. “My girl, huh?” You said, trying to break the awkward silence. The nerves had already begun to eat you up and the hours you spent memorizing the words you wanted to say to Shawn were slowly running down the drain. Shawn opened his mouth to say something.

“I’m guessing you heard all of that, but I don’t regret it. I thought I lost you, Y/N. I made the biggest fucking mistake saying all those hurtful words to you but I’m an even bigger idiot for not fighting for what we had. Just give me another chance, please. I haven’t been able to get any proper sleep with you gone, and I don’t know how much more I can take.” He begged you as he took your small hands in his. You couldn’t bring yourself to pull them away, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to either.

“Did you read the letter?” He questioned. You slowly nodded your head, looking everywhere but directly at his eyes.

He went on, “Baby look, I know this concert and conversation can’t fully heal the scars, but I’m willing to wait. I’m so sorry. I told you I’d wait a thousand years the first time I told you how I felt, and I still mean it. Please, please, just let this,” He gestured to both of you, “Please just let us try all of this again. I love you. So, so, much princess.”

You had no words, so you hugged him. He immediately hugged back, letting the action speak for you. It’s been so long. You missed his scent despite him coming straight from performing a concert. You missed the way he’d bury his head in the crook of your neck. You missed everything about him, especially the way he held onto you so tightly.

The next few minutes were spent with you in Shawn’s arms. No words, no movement, no disruptions. You didn’t need words to know that you and Shawn still loved each other. It wasn’t going to be easy, but this was the closure you needed. This was the final stitch, your lifeline. This was what you were waiting for. And in that very moment, you knew that no words had to be exchanged for either of you to know that everything would be alright.

cliche ending, but this was the heavily requested part four, and unfortunately also the last part to the ‘Hurtful Words’ series. i’d just like to say thank you for being so supportive of this, and i hope you guys stick around for future writings :))

check out my other writings >> masterlist

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE

p.s. it’d be really great if you could like and/or reblog this :))

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