#and I am wishing you nothing but good fortune and happy holidays

[im-a-meme-or-so-i-hope]

I'm so tired. I get my sleep, probably not enough of it but I get my sleep never the less. I go to school and socially interact with other people. I go to Boy scout meetings every week. I listen to my friends when they need someone. I talk to my family when I need someone. I am there. So why is that so tiring. I just want to exist, to get by, to exist without questioning it. To stop being wiped on my ass by these events every day. To stop being pushed too far by my teacher saying something a little too harshly. To finally be able to cherish the existence I was given. I'm just tired. I want to sleep all the time, even when I have woken up.

[bwabys-scenarios]

🎄Christmas Season with JJK Men🎄

🎁!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!🎁

characters: Gojo, Choso, Nanami

⚠️warning: suggestive in Gojo’s, smut in Choso’s and Nanami’s, you’re pregnant in Gojo’s and Nanami’s⚠️

A/N: If this does well, I’ll do a part 2 with more characters!! I have only watched the first season of the anime, and it was a while ago so please be nice!! I might not know the characters too well, but I’m trying my best to give y’all content!!

NSFW JJK taglist: @iluvies @zeniiis @highbats69

‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, please check out the taglist information then comment what you want to be added to! Make sure you have your age in your bio and that your blog can be tagged/mentioned!‼️

Gojo

He throws a Secret Santa for his students a few days before Christmas, and as his wife you attend. It’s the first Christmas you’ve been married and your first time meeting his students, so they all(besides Megumi, who attended the wedding and loves you to death) nearly die of shock.

“Are you being paid for this? Like a girlfriend for rent?” Nobara asks, looking you up and down then glancing at her mentor.

“Oh you wound me!”

Gojo holds you in his arms, his hand moving to your tummy. “And I was so excited to introduce you all to my lovely wife and child!”

“CHILD!?”

You smack his head. “Satoru! We were supposed to keep that a secret!”

Nobara and Itadori accept you as his wife when they watch you scold him as if he were a disobedient child.

The Secret Santa was fun, ending with a Christmas movie and cookies. The three teens wished you a marry Christmas before telling their mentor how lucky he was.

“I am pretty lucky, aren’t I?”

He kissed the top of your head, leading you to the car by your hand. “My sweet girl deserves nothing but the best, I know that too well.”

You’re treated to hot coco and a nice warm bath when you get home. Your husband offered to sing you Christmas songs as you bathed, but you (fortunately) declined. He could be a bit clingy during the holidays.

The night ends with soft lovemaking, gentle kisses, and another Christmas movie. He’s so excited to spend your first Christmas married together, and who can blame him!

Choso

He likes to celebrate Christmas with family, so once you’re together he INSISTS on accompanying you to your family’s annual Christmas party. You need to teach him about a few traditions and social cues, but besides that he’s pretty good around your family.

He helps put up decorations, gets along with your little cousins, and he even brings Itadori along with him. Choso is a family man, he really enjoys being surrounded by people who care.

As soon as the two of you are alone, it doesn’t matter if you’re staying over with your parents or not, he’s got his hand in your panties, trying to get you off. You’re his princess, and he heard that you’re supposed to give people presents for Christmas, Choso just wants to make you feel loved and special!

He just loves you cockwarming him while you watch Christmas movies together, keeping his hands on the fat of your hips, gently kneading.

“Mm… merry Christmas, princess… so pretty, fuck…”

It goes from this to him talking to your parents about how happy he is to be invited 30 minutes later. You’re just trying to ignore the feeling of his cum pooling down your legs, thankful you wore baggy sweatpants.

He learns most of his knowledge on Christmas from movies, so he’s determined to kiss you under the mistletoe. He stood under it for nearly an hour, waiting for you to finish talking to your family.

You find him standing there, pouting like an abandoned puppy.

“You’re so silly, Choso. You could have just asked for a kiss.”

The two of you share a soft kiss. He holds back any groping or tongue because his brother is there, but once you’re behind closed doors… RIP your coochie.

Nanami

Unlike the other characters on this list, Nanami much prefers spending a quiet Christmas alone with you. He’ll visit your family before Christmas, but Christmas Day is for you and him alone.

He wakes you up with breakfast in bed. Nanami’s love language is acts of service and words of affirmation. He spends the morning with you in his lap, feeding you breakfast as he tells you just how grateful he is to have you in his life, especially during Christmas.

Honestly, I feel like Nanami may have a bit of seasonal depression, and you’re the reason he’s able to really enjoy the holiday.

Nanami likes to surprise you with your gifts by pretending Santa is the one that brought them. He leaves you in bed at 3 am to arrange your gifts, and you playful pretend to be surprised. You’re both adults and he knows you’re just going along with it, but it’s just some innocent fun that makes him enjoy the season. He’d honestly be a great father, and now you want a family with him even more.

Since you usually make meals for the two of you, he took over the duty of Christmas dinner. Once it’s lunch time, he serves you a plate of your favorite Christmas foods. He spends the entire day thoroughly spoiling you.

The two of you stay in pajamas, lazily snacking and watching Christmas movies while snuggling on the couch. It’s moments like these that make him feel alive and content.

At night, you have sleepy, snuggly sex. He keeps you close to him, thrusting in and out while holding onto your hand. “My darling… I’m so, so happy… this day couldn’t have been better…”

You hope your Christmas present for him, a positive pregnancy test, will make him even more happy when you show him in the morning. Unfortunately, you are much too sleepy and comfortable with his cock nestled inside of you to get it at that moment.

But when you show him in the early morning, he cries tears of joy.

“This is perfect… my sweet angels…”

[karniss-bg3]

Hey guys, hope you're doing well.

I apologize for being quiet/less active lately. I've hit a bit of a creative wall where I'm feeling the bite of burnout and it's been a struggle to write anything I can feel good about. My cat has also gotten sick which has resulted in a mad dash to the vet and a great deal of worrying on my end. She is fine for the moment which is a relief but the bill that came attached right before the holidays has added a new layer of stress. It will all work out but the events compound one another and it has tossed my mind into a vast, bleak fog.

For this reason I'll not be accepting new writing prompts for the time being. The ask box will remain open for all other inquiries/comments. I suspect the earliest I'll reopen writing requests is early next year after things have settled down. I do still have a few prompts to address so folks may see writing still pop up here as I move through the queue.

I know I often thank people for their support but I do want to delve into that a bit deeper. I never expected much from this blog when I first started it. I figured it would just be a depository for my ravenous Kar'niss obsession so I wouldn't flood followers on my primary blog with material they didn't sign up for. Instead it's morphed into a little haven for fellow drider enjoyers to congregate and discuss amongst their peers. From theorycrafting to praising their favorite Absolute loving arachnid, this spot became so much more than I ever imagined. Three-hundred plus followers later I still see the enthusiasm thrust into the comments and tags for a character that deserved more than he got.

Fandom can be beautiful and it can be ugly. Just like any community, it's subject to the flaws of its contributors. I am happy to say that, by and large, I've bore witness to more beauty than anything else and it's part of what has made this journey special to me. I am not Kar'niss, I don't work for Larian Studios, I am just a guy who gravitated toward a character I felt I could relate to and I ran with it. I am by no means a world class writer, merely someone who enjoys the art of storytelling. I am proud I was able to enrich an already bustling community with my little blurbs of text and I hope to continue to do so in the future.

So when I say thank you for your support I mean it. This has been some of the most fun I've had over the last two months and it is because of your passion and willingness to reach out. Hype comes and goes and I don't expect Kar'niss to be at the forefront of someone's mind forever. Should the day come that the devoted screams fade into hushed whispers I will still look back on my time here with great fondness. All of you are wonderful and I wish you nothing but good fortune for the end of this year and all throughout the next. Thanks for sticking with this old fart.

Have a fantastic holiday everyone!

[prismaticpichu]

‘Ello!

Brain has completely kicked me in the butt the past few days/week. I tend to call it emotional paralysis, heh, when my body and mind just literally give out on me. Couldn’t make it to class a few days, fell behind on work. Been a bit of a struggle to catch up, but I’ve finally and fortunately been getting my footing again. Brain’s finally putting on some band-aids, thank God.

Always keep fighting, folks. We can’t give up. Never. We got lives to live and we gotta live them. Sometimes days are hard, sometimes they suck and leave us aching and miserable. But the truth is that they pass. And if it is a bad week, that bad week will pass. If it is a bad month, it will pass. Just take it one day at a time. Focus on the small things, the small achievements. Take it hour by hour if you have to. Class by class, shift by shift- whatever you need to do. Because you know what? Getting through the day…? That’s an achievement. That is strength. And you are so much stronger than you think you are.

I don’t like to be too down here tho! That ain’t the vibes I want for this lil blog. So with that said, I hope y’all are having an absolutely amazing week so far <333 Am happy to report that I have written ~12K words in the past 3-4 days! Wooooo! Got a couple tests this week but then it’s HOLIDAY BREAK, PEOPLES!! ❤️

Will resume normal FF7 stupidity soon! Until then, wishing nothing but good vibes and a fantastic rest of your week!

[1d1195]

BESTIE I AM BACK OFFICIALLY!!!! Finally off for break since I just finished finals week😭😭😭 I feel like I’ve been gone forever and i missed you so so much!! I fear this might be a 2 parter since I’ve been gone forever so long and I just have to yap about your stories 😭 (again never feel obligated to read/respond lol )

Now I saw your posts and I’m so sorry that this month has not been looking good at all :( I was really hoping that it would be a bit better and it just sucks that it’s not going that well! But please please take care of yourself. Don’t feel bad for not posting, life gets in the way and you really don’t owe us anything! Just take care and find little moments to yourself whether it be writing, reading or whatever! Idk if you’re on your winter break or not BUT I do hope that maybe that break will allow you to have better moments! I really do hope you’ll be able to have time for yourself and feel a bit better! If you need a break from it all that’s okay too💕💕💕

Oh it’s always sucks when someone recommends a book and speaks so highly for it to just not hit 😭 sadly I’ve experienced this many of times and I always feel so bad lol anyways hope that it ended well at least lol and you could never go wrong with basketball book bf!! And tell me why Hot Frosty is actually so insane it’s so fun!

Aww that’s sweet! And yeah you’re right about the tuba part lol and the holiday season is so exciting sometimes because our symphony puts on these really pretty shows! But girl in this economy… all a girl can do is dream😭

Not the feeling of being timed lol honestly it’s seems like a very you thing to say and I find that very adorable! And oh bestie I GET you about the covering up your body vibe LOL and love this temperature war going on with you and your bf haha

Also have you finished Christmas shopping?! I sadly am just starting…. It’s times like these where I wish I had Traditional Harry because I know I would be stressing about buying stuff😭 but hopefully Christmas will be better than thanksgiving! At least it’s another opportunity to have some yummy food!!

I think it’s fair to be a bit bummed when a student you like gets in trouble! I bet you’re just the sweetest to everyone so it makes since how you just want the absolute best for your students!!-💜

AHHHH! I've missed you! I was so worried about you tbh 😭 I've also been like super worried about your mom so I'm happy to hear she is no longer bed ridden!! (maybe that is part two but I read them both anyway) AND YOU'RE ON BREAK HALLELUJAH!!!! I'm so happy!!!!!

I have one more week basically. I'm hoping break will be restful and allow me some time to take care of myself. I gotta make a list of things I want/need to do. I should have read today but I got a bit of a cold over the week (my 8 month old niece may or may not have stuck her common-cold hand in her mouth but I cannot say no to a baby and she's so stinking cute, it is worth it). However, Man-Flu? Nothing on me. I am a Victorian woman taken with consumption and my poor bf has to listen to me go on like I am Charles Dickens.

Hot Frosty was seriously so lovely. I honestly cannot recommend it enough the plot holes are the things of dreams. It's PERFECT. I love my basketball bf so much it's lowkey unhealthy.

That should be on a pillow: in this economy all a girl can do is dream

The temperature wore is still raging because as I mentioned I'm a bit ill rn and there is nothing I hate MORE than being ill and hot. So I know it's at least a cold (I'm also starving and I love old wise words like "feed a cold starve a fever") so. It's sweltering to say the least.

YES. Finished the other day fortunately. It looks like Capitalism threw up under my tree. I think I mentioned I love gift-giving. I probably overspent but oh well. I love the people in my life a little too much. I have to do a good bit of baking this week for my coworkers and I'm waiting for one of my mom's gifts to arrive after a two week delay. It makes sense you haven't shopped much yet! You've had quite a month!!!! Regardless of the fact I'm finished with my shopping doesn't make me want Traditional Harry any less. He would def be like "jus' take the card? Don't buy anything on sale either." I'm looking forward to all the yummy food. I swear I need to start fasting now in preparation lol

My student is back in action. He was in rough shape when he returned, but I'm happy to report that he (we) dug himself out of the trenches. It was a REALLY rough week coming back from Thanksgiving and my bf thinks I'm going to adopt a high schooler now 😅

More in part two but I am SO happy to hear from you!!! 💕

xoxo

[grizzly-tedi]

I Suppose I Should Introduce Myself, Yeah?

Hello my dears! Thank you for stopping in! I'm a bit of a newer blog and am hoping to begin my journey as a content creator in the future, so I figured it would be good and fun to get some info/trivia out there so you all can get to know me a little bit better! ^w^

Name: Grizzly-Tedi! (but you can just call me Tedi) X3

Pronouns: He/Him!

Sexuality: I consider myself Demisexual, but if I were to find that someone that could capture my heart and make it theirs, I'd have no preference in terms of gender! Everyone is beautiful to me regardless of gender! ^w^

Birthday: November 16th! It's almost here! 0w0;;

Age: Over 21! Not going to share any more than that ;)

Favorite Food: Pumpkin Pie!

Favorite Drink: Tea! Doesn't matter what kind. Tea is tea! When it comes to caffeine, however, I CAN be partial to Gamer Supps if I want to mix things up a bit! -w-

Favorite Season: Autumn! Followed closely by Winter.

Spiritual Practice/Religion (If Any): I'm an Eclectic Pagan, so while I DO celebrate holidays like Christmas and Easter with my family, I also observe Pagan holidays that correlate with the seasons and also engage in some spiritual practices that would be considered witchcraft by some. No disrespect to anyone who doesn't follow the same spirituality or religion as me whatsoever! Whatever you celebrate and however you practice your spirituality, even if you don't practice it in the slightest, I wish you nothing but good fortune and happiness! (if you ever have any questions about my traditions, holidays, and practices, feel free to let me know! I'm always happy to answer! ^w^)

Favorite Holiday: Yule! (also known as the Winter Solstice or the celebration of the first day of winter)

Hobbies: Playing video games, watching anime, reading, cooking, playing DnD, tarot reading, karaoke, acting, writing, listening to music, learning Japanese, and napping VwV

Favorite Animal: I have many favorites, but bears are definitely up there...if that wasn't obvious ^^;

Favorite Video Game: Undertale! It has a special place in my heart as one of the best gaming experiences I've ever had QwQ

Favorite Color: Yellow!

Favorite Anime: Probably either Fruits Basket or Sasaki & Miyano! I have many favorites that come and go, but these two remain comfort shows for me.

Favorite Cartoon: I cycle through favorites much like I do with anime, but Over The Garden Wall and The Owl House are tied for first at the moment!

Favorite Movie: Kiki's Delivery Service! Always gives me a little serotonin boost when I'm feeling down. :')

Favorite Book: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Favorite Music Artist/Band: I've found myself listening to a wide range of artists and bands; the top ones being Poor Man's Poison, Yoasobi, Cavetown, and Fish In A Birdcage. Not to mention all the Showtunes! XD

The Kind Of Content I Hope To Create: Gameplay and ASMR acting! While I may experiment with other things as well, these are the two main things I want to do.

Alright, before I go, I'm just going to make a quick PSA here so you know what to expect in my little corner of the internet!

I advise that anyone under the age of 18 not interact with my content. While I DO try to keep things wholesome and chill, I AM an adult and at times I WILL use adult language or engage with media not appropriate for children.

Any bigotry of any sort will not be tolerated. Whether it be about race, religion, nationality, gender identity, sexuality, or anything of the sort, that sort of behavior will not be tolerated and will be handled accordingly if I see it here.

I am involved in many fandom spaces and love many pieces of media, so my posts will appear to be all over the place. If there is a piece of media you don't like, I WILL be tagging accordingly so you can avoid posts about it if you so choose.

Don't be afraid to approach if you want to have a conversation! I'm always happy to chat! ^w^

With that, I believe that's it! I hope that we can have a nice, chill time together in this little corner of the internet so we can all hopefully have a break from how chaotic real life can be. So let's try and be kind to each other and have a nice time, okay?

I hope you enjoy your stay and stay tuned for any content I create in the future!

Wishing you well my dears! Take care!

~ Tedi

[motownfiction]

so, 2023 ...

2023. the first full year i operated this blog. the year it turned one. the year i began my dissertation work. the year i cannot wait to see fade into the distance.

this has been the worst year of my life.

i'm a bit hesitant to say that because i know myself. something ridiculous will happen in the future, and i'll go, "man, remember how much better it was in 2023, when i taught intro to entertainment, and i had that cute apartment in midwestern city? those were the days."

but at the same time, i don't think i'll ever quite forget how awful this year was.

sure, there were some good things. @pelopides and i started weekly movie nights, which we have to get back to once the holidays are over. i finally met one of my longest-running mutuals for the world's best brunch. i taught some cool classes and met some cool students. i was fortunate enough to visit home a lot. but for as many good things that happened, the bad ones really outweighed them. i don't want to go into too much detail, but the main thing is that i had a noncancerous hormonal brain tumor that went undiagnosed until september. also, my best friend of seven years ghosted me with no signs of resurface. i spent a lot of 2023 staring at my laptop screen, mindlessly watching television, waiting for the next day.

i don't remember a lot of it.

seriously. it's hard for me to admit that, as someone whose memory is very sharp. but i was in such a state of constant stress and worry that i don't remember the things i said i loved. ask anyone -- this spring and summer, i loved watching dynasty (the cw version). i talked about how funny it was all the time. but i remember almost nothing that happened in it. every second was padded with fear as i waited for one shoe to drop ... then the other.

i also don't remember a lot of what i wrote on this blog. i know i wrote a lot in the winter (and way, way less in the summer and fall than i ever would have hoped), but i don't remember a lot of it. i have a retrospective coming at you soon. it was hard to create because of how little i remembered and because i hated revisiting some months and days in the archive. but i found some good ones!

this post -- this year, really -- indeed has a pleasant ending. my physical health has improved, which means my mental health has improved. i can focus more on what matters because my hormone imbalance is corrected. i don't feel as weird about being happy, and i can stay happy for a lot longer than i could for most of 2023.

and it is on that note -- happy -- that i truly do wish this blog a happy new year. and happy new year to you, too! thanks for sticking around what was evidently a strange year for me. your asks, likes, and reblogs mean a lot, and they will mean a lot more now that i am feeling more like the "me" i have always been.

forward.

[jimlingss]

(sorry my tumblr app glitched so im not sure if this was sent twice) taking a chance for the requests! how about a seokjin or namjoon arranged marriage au with this: “Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.” 🎄 happy holidays!!

↳ Playground Promises

1.9k || 100% Light Fluff || Kim Seokjin

The bell rings.

Moments later, children are sprinting from the doors and flooding the playground. You watch in fondness as some climb the monkey bars while others sit and dig into the sandbox. All of them were forging their first friendships they’ll remember forever and you were their witness.

This is one of your favourite times of day. You enjoy seeing the kids have their fun, listening to their laughter and giggles, watching their games of tag to play pretend. But today, your enjoyment is interrupted by a certain male teacher that comes to stand behind you.

Tall. Dark. And handsome. His broad shoulders carry the weight of the third-grade class and practically the entire elementary school. But you’d never admit that out loud.

“It’s a bit chilly out today. You should’ve brought your coat with you.”

You hum.

Every staff member, married and single, swoons over Kim Seokjin. It’s hard not to. But if others knew what your relationship was with him, you’re sure you’d never hear the end of it. The kids would make a big fuss and so would all the staff and faculty, and you’d rather avoid that.

“I didn’t know you were on playground duty today.”

“I switched with Sana,” he says and leans over to smile. “Thought you could use some company.”

You scoff. “She’s perfectly fine company.”

The corner of his plump lip pulls. “If you want to talk about the mathletes program. And I’m pretty sure you don’t.”

Before you can respond, a boy approaches the two of you with pink cheeks and wind-swept hair. “Mr. Kim, can I go to the bathroom?” the third-grader asks in the midst of catching his breath and the older man nods.

“Go ahead. But don’t run in the hallway, Lucas.” 

Said boy grins and dashes off.

Seokjin turns to you and lowers his voice. “My mom’s been asking about the kids.”

Your brows furrow. “Why? They’re a good bunch.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I don’t mean your class’ kids, I mean our kids.”

You blink owlishly. “There are no our kids.”

“That’s the problem.”

You sigh and roll your eyes. “Wasn’t getting married enough for them?”

Seokjin shrugs with a faint, mischievous smile. “They want to go out for brunch with your parents this Sunday. Are you free?”

“When am I not free?” you retort lightly, but slip your phone out of your pocket to check your calendar anyhow. Seokjin glances over to your screen and once you finish, you slip it back into your pocket. “I have some marking to do, but I’ll probably finish by then.”

“Okay.” The pair of you turn back to continue monitoring the children playing and you’re glad to revel in the silence that’s been created between you. But after a beat, Kim Seokjin pipes up again. You don’t know why you’re surprised. He’s quite the talkative guy. “Hey, Y/N.”

You look over and he meets your eye.

He asks, “Am I your lock screen?”

Your face heats. If you were once cold, now you were warm from head to toe. “You weren’t supposed to see that,” you mumble. It was just a picture from the other day and you wanted to change things up on your phone. You had nothing else to use. It was convenient. That’s it.

Your entire relationship with him is built on convenience. At least...on his side it is.

Still, Seokjin grins and fortunately, he doesn’t tease.

You rush to change the subject. “A-Anyway, yeah, Sunday works for me. But we should probably talk about this after work.”

“Why? No one’s around.” His smile is spread from ear to ear and he leans in, whispering, “Are you that scared of people finding out we’re married?”

Immediately, you whip your head in all directions. Luckily, there’s no kid or nosy faculty member. You turn back to him, glaring. “I already said, I like to keep my private life under wraps.”

“I remember. But if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were embarrassed of me.”

You scoff and a murmur unintentionally spills out of you, “That’s impossible.”

You don’t notice Seokjin’s smile.

It’s been three months since you got married. It was a summer wedding. More importantly, it was an arranged marriage. And not because you were both wealthy and needed to be wedded to get the inheritance under some arbitrary contract rule or because it was your grandmother’s dying wish. No. You live a much more mundane, normal life than the dramas, movies and books.

It was your mom who threw a fuss. She was scared you’d be alone and unmarried, an old maid like your aunt — you didn’t say it, she just heavily implied it. But following her practically senile meltdown, you agreed. Partly to appease her worries and partly just out of curiosity.

You always wanted to get married. And deep down, you always wanted your own kids. But at the rate you were going, you had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to meet someone on your own.

What you didn’t expect on that blind date was for the other person to be Kim Seokjin, third grade teacher. Down the hall from you at the school. Someone across the room every lunchtime. Your dads were apparently long time colleagues, but Jin was still as equally shocked as you were during that first meeting. Yet, he easily agreed to getting married when you brought it up. Even when it was only after two months of occasionally seeing one another outside of your workplaces.

You still don’t know why he said yes.

“Ms. L/N!”

You’re torn out of your trance by a little girl at your knees. 

She pouts. “Jennie won’t let me play on the slide!”

“Did you ask her to share?”

“Yes!”

Before any more can be said, she drags you over and Seokjin trails after you. There’s another girl with brown braided hair climbing on the slide, and she swivels her head over as the two of you approach, eyes the size of saucers. 

“Are you taking turns, Jennie?” you ask her, and she vigorously nods.

“I am!”

“Well, you’ve been on it for a while. How about Lisa takes a turn next.”

“Okay,” she draws out and gets off of the slide before turning to her friend. “Here you go.”

It’s always little problems you have to solve — from sharing to knee scrapes and monkey bar accidents. Sometimes it’s difficult for the children to compromise, difficult for them to apologize and difficult for you to find a good solution. But you undoubtedly wish your own issues were this simple.

While you’re stuck in your thoughts, you miss Jin watching you fondly. 

“You’re good with kids,” he says as you move out of the way of running children and walk back to the perimeter.

“I wouldn’t be doing this job if I wasn’t. But I deal with older kids much better.” There’s a reason you teach fifth graders and not any lower than that. Seokjin knows it too.

“Remember when we had to supervise that kindergarten class together?”

You shudder. “It was a nightmare.”

“You weren’t that bad,” he tries to say but then laughs. You feign a glare, and he adds on, “Okay. I’m sorry, but I still mean it. It’s not as terrible as you thought. You’d make a good mom.” 

At that, your glare vanishes in favour of furrowing brows. You really shouldn’t, but you can’t help it when curiosity pries — so you break your own rule against discussing private matters at work. 

“Do you want my kids?”

Seokjin is wide-eyed and he turns to you. “Why not? We’re married.”

“Yeah….but…”

“But? Do you not want kids?” 

“No! I definitely want them,” you declare, almost a bit too boldly. He nods and you explain, “It’s just...I don’t know if you’re serious.”

Seokjin blinks. “I’m being perfectly serious.”

“I mean I don’t know if we’re serious.” You add, “Enough to have kids.”

“What’s more serious than being married?” Jin has a genuinely inquisitive and amused expression, head quirked to the side. 

You inhale a sharp breath and his gaze coaxes you to go on, so you do. “It’s just that you agreed so quickly to be married to me. It doesn’t….feel real. I don’t know if you wanted to marry me, if you did it on a whim, if this is some kind of joke—”

He frowns. “This isn’t a joke, Y/N. I wanted to marry you.”

Your mouth hangs open. Your eyes are rounded.

“Wh—”

“Mrs. L/N!” You’re interrupted by your fifth-grader, Park Jimin. He sprints to you, huffing and puffing, before leaning his hands onto his knees to catch his breath. “Have you seen Taehyung?! We’re playing tag!”

“No, I haven’t.”

Jin suddenly points to the left. “He went that way.”

Jimin books it.

Silence fills the spaces between you and Seokjin again, but it isn’t like normal. It’s filled with unanswered questions and the suspenseful cliffhanger of an unfinished conversation. The laughter of kids on the playground and field resound around you, but for the first time, you don’t listen to it. 

It fades into the background as you turn to Seokjin, wanting to know more. “What did you just say?”

The man smiles softly. “You have to know.”

“I don’t,” you assert. “So tell me.”

“I’ve always liked you.”

You blink and he continues, “Since you substituted for the art teacher and I saw you squirt red paint all over yourself. It’s something I couldn’t forget. Plus, the way you draw those stick people.” Seokjin laughs heartily and you’re trapped in your spot, unsure of how to react or what to say. He reads your expression and softens. “Did you really think I would rush into a marriage if I didn’t have feelings for you?”

“I…” Your mouth is agape. “I don’t know. Why did we never talk about this?”

Seokjin shrugs. “You never asked and I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable if you didn’t feel the same way. I knew you married me for convenience.”

“That’s not true,” you retort within a beat. This whole time, you thought he married you for convenience sake. But it wasn’t entirely like that for you.

Seokjin’s eyes are big and you swallow down your embarrassment. “Isn’t it obvious every single breathing person loves you? It’s hard not to.”

Slowly but surely, a grin spreads into Seokjin’s puffy cheeks and he’s smiling from ear to ear again. “Well, you’re very good at hiding it then.”

Suddenly, the bell rings.

All the children reluctantly climb off the equipment, some dusting their hands while others grabbing their friends, and they rush into their lineups. There’s a few stranglers lugging their legs while groaning. But busy in their small playground worlds, no one turns around to notice you leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss to Seokjin’s mouth. It’s shy and brief, like the first peck exchanged between two for the first time. And you pull away just as fast, lips left tingling.

“We can continue this later, Mr. Kim.”

You stride off while Seokjin’s left smiling. After a breathless moment, he chases after you like children who have just made promises of their first love on the playground.

[assassinationtipsforladies]

Hey, anyone want to read a Medieval Jewish poem about being trans*?

Of course you do(or should):

What an awful fate for my mother that she bore a son.

What a loss of all benefit!

Cursed be the one who announced to my father:

“It’s a boy! . . .

 Woe to him who has male sons.

Upon them a heavy yoke has been placed, restrictions and constraints.

Some in private, some in public,

some to avoid the mere appearance of violation,

and some entering the most secret of places.

  Strong statutes and awesome commandments,

six hundred and thirteen.

Who is the man who can do all that is written,

so that he might be spared?

 Oh, but had the artisan who made me

created me instead— a fair woman.

Today I would be wise and insightful.

We would weave, my friends and I,

and in the moonlight spin our yarn,

and tell our stories to one another,

from dusk till midnight.

We’d tell of the events of our day, silly things,

matters of no consequence.

But also I would grow very wise from the spinning,

and I would say, “Happy is she who knows how to work with combed flax and weave it into fine white linen.”

 And at times, in the way of women,

I would lie down on the kitchen floor,

between the ovens, turn the coals, and taste the different dishes.

On holidays I would put on my best jewelry.

I would beat on the drum

and my clapping hands would ring.

And when I was ready and the time was right,

an excellent youth would be my fortune.

He would love me, place me on a pedestal,

dress me in jewels of gold,

earrings, bracelets, necklaces.

And on the appointed day,

in the season of joy when brides are wed,

for seven days would the boy increase my delight and gladness.

 Were I hungry, he would feed me well-kneaded bread.

Were I am thirsty, he would quench me with light and dark wine.

He would not chastise nor harshly treat me,

and my [sexual] pleasure he would not diminish.

 Every Sabbath, and each new moon,

his head he would rest upon my breast.

The three husbandly duties he would fulfill,

rations, raiment, and regular intimacy.

And three wifely duties would I also fulfill,

[watching for menstrual] blood, [Sabbath candle] lights, and bread.

 Father in heaven, who did miracles for our ancestors with fire and water,

You changed the fire of Chaldees so it would not burn hot,

You changed Dina in the womb of her mother to a girl,

You changed the staff to a snake before a million eyes,

You changed [Moses’] hand to [leprous] white

and the sea to dry land.

In the desert you turned rock to water,

hard flint to a fountain.

 Who would then turn me from a man to woman?

Were I only to have merited this, being so graced by your goodness.

 What shall I say? Why cry or be bitter?

If my Father in heaven has decreed upon me

and has maimed me with an immutable deformity,

then I do not wish to remove it.

And the sorrow of the impossible

is a human pain that nothing will cure

and for which no comfort can be found.

So, I will bear and suffer

until I die and wither in the ground.

And since I have learned from the tradition

that we bless both the good and the bitter,

I will bless in a voice, hushed and weak,

Blessed are you, O Lord,

who has not made me a woman.

Kalonymus ben Kalonymus or Arles, 13th century

*With the normal caveats that we can’t project our modern understanding about gender and sexuality onto people in the past and it can be difficult or impossible to tease out the strands on gender and sexuality among people who had a different language for these experiences, and so that’s one reason the term Queer can be so useful, but on the other hand, I think it’s fair to say this poem would resonate for modern trans people.

[just2bubbly]

To Us

Masterlist

TLC Ship Week 2021!

*written for tlcshipweek2021- kaider for the prompt 'Journey of Us'

@kaiderforever

Summary:

"I'm thinking."

"A coin for your thought?"

"Nothing much... just I'm 27 and have this beautiful person seating on top of me, not that I'm complaining-"

"Come to the point Kai, you were definitely not thinking that."

...

The night before their second anniversary is quite extra-ordinary as both of them reflect back on their past. The present that they are living seems unbelievable to the two royals- just the two of them, together. What more can they ask for?

Ship: Kaider

Words: 3k

Genre: Fluff, Sick

Prompt: 'Journey of Us'

__

*Post- Winter

Cinder's Perspective:

"I'm so sorry, Kai," she said as he handed her the bowl of soup.

"No worries darling, it doesn't really bother me-"

"Yeah, but I know you wanted to have some alone time and I just ruined your plans."

"C'mon Cinder- you are more important than my plans. Besides we can go after you have recovered."

"Even then I feel extremely sorry for being under the weather at such a happy moment-"

"Sickness does not come looking at your calendar- wondering if it's the right time to crash on Miss Selene now that she does not have anything planned," he jested.

She glared at him while inhaling the smell of the chicken noodle soup wistfully.

"I'm gonna forget you said that because this soup tastes so good. You have really mastered cooking."

"Thanks- I asked Suho for his recipe, seeing how you liked the one he made when we visited them last month."

"So have anything planned- now that I'm going to be staying in the bed for at least two more days?" she questioned.

"Well- No?"

"No?" she mimicked, surprised at his answer. She had assumed he might have come up with some different sort of elaborate plans for the day.

"Like there is not really much I can do with you being sick that will qualify as classy and romantic... you know that right?"

"You don't have to."

"I'm going to!"

The thing they happened to be talking about was their second anniversary. Kai had wanted to go to a nice cottage home that his mother had brought on Wusong Island in Jilin. Cinder knocked off all his plans with the unwanted and very bad timings of the flu she had caught. hence they or rather she was forced to stay in bed for an entirety of 5 days?!- well the doctor had told 3 but her very sensitive and caring husband made it 5.

Her husband observed her as she drank the soup, feeling slightly awkward at the sudden attention she barked, "What?"

"Nothing- just staring at my beautiful wife!"

"Don't- it's making me self-conscious, for a minute I thought I was drinking it wrong or something and you were going to yell at me for not holding my spoon properly. And Kai, stop calling me beautiful when I have a runny nose, that's too sore and pink from all the tissues I am blowing into and I feel like I'm wearing rags right now," she said pointing out to her loose grey t-shirt and shorts, that were quite old with its colour faded still they were comfortable and that's what mattered.

"You always look beautiful to me!"

She smiled and asked, "What do you want?"

"Can't I just call you stunning babe?"

"Oh, and won't you be honest with your beautiful wife?"

He sighed and asked, "Can't I join you?"

She wished he would but instead settled for a bittersweet smile and said, "Kai you won't want to catch the flu. Believe me, you don't want your one nasal cavity feeling like a desert and the other one like a shitty waterfall!"

Kai had been adamant about cuddling while she was sick- she did not want him to catch her sickness. Hell, she would have actually made him sleep on the adjacent very large couch in their room if he would have not been half as stubborn as her. Alas, he would not budge and they had settled for some distance between them for Kai's well being.

"Please," he said in an annoyingly cute way, pouting his lips and crinkling those damn beautiful eyes of his to make an impact.

She was not going to budge to his antics- after all, she was supposed to look after him when he decided to make dumb desires.

"Only if you take the couch to sleep today," she argued.

"Cinder didn't we already talk about this?! I'm not taking the couch even if it's too comfortable and for my own good!"

"Don't tell me, I did not warn you, when you get sick," she said and patted the space near her, keeping the bowl aside while scooting away to make space for him.

He jumped at the offer and settled close to her as she leaned against his chest.

"Hmm... I missed you," he mumbled as he pressed his chin on her head, his words filling the comfortable silence.

"You are not really sad that I'm sick, are you, Kai?"

"I'm not, Cinder- it would not matter if I spend our anniversary on a beach, a cottage or in bed as long as you are there beside me- even if you are sick," he said reassuringly.

"Okay,' she replied.

He drew circles on her back and she reclined into him until she was more or less practically into his lap- all thoughts of making him sick with contact forgotten.

She had almost dozed off when he muttered quietly," Torin said we could have a week off if you wanted."

"Oh? and are you- are we?"

"I dunno, it's not every day that I can take a day or two off and it's pretty chill right now- not much work so I'm thinking about it."

"Maybe we should," she suggested, already knowing that they would be taking a holiday soon.

"Maybe."

They remained silent, just enjoying each other's presence and the quiet around them, the beats of their heart providing a soothing sound as they beat together. She would have been more than happy to sleep like that- in Kai's arms with the rhythm of their hearts as music to her ears.

"I'm thinking," he whispered his lips near her ear.

"A coin for your thought?"

"Nothing much... just I'm 27 and have this beautiful person seating on top of me, not that I'm complaining-"

"Come to the point Kai, you were definitely not thinking that," she challenged.

"Well,- yeah you caught me there- just I'm so happy in this moment. I married the love of my life and 10 years ago, I would have never thought that I would end up where I am right now."

Thinking over his words, she responded, "Well you would not be the only one now there now, would you?"

"Yeah- at 18 I had as good as convinced myself that I would not see myself grow to become 19- probably be killed by Levana before that-"

"Who knows maybe she would have loved you and vice versa," She joked, having come to terms with the horrors of her past by now.

"Yeah, weren't you just jealous of my wife, Cinder?- killing her like that."

"Oh! No Kai, I fought for you and came out as the winner," she jabbered with a wink.

"Quite a prize I'm, now aren't I?" he boasted, winking in response.

"Stop sounding like Thorne- besides, stop using sarcasm to just avoid talking about your feelings," she said, clearly forgetting what had started the mild flirting.

"Like you don't," he muttered under his breath.

Taking quite his chances trying to figure out if she had forgotten or not-

"Kai, continue," she ordered.

"There's nothing serious- just got me riled over a silly thought, that's all!" he said, avoiding to speak.

"Talk," she ordered before he could make any excuse.

Sighing he said, "Back when I was 9, I had always thought that I would have a wife that loved me like Mum loved Dad, but I was too simple back then. Later I quite got the hang that I would be the Emperor and... you know right, how marriages are looked upon as alliances in royalty?- so, maybe I thought- I would not know what love is, like what it really means. Levana just happened to come around the time when I had wholly convinced myself that I would never marry out of love- just some woman who was the daughter of some important person to strengthen bonds or something like that. And at the same time you decided to pop in my life- well I popped in yours but after a few days I had certainly started liking you, sort of even had a crush on you while you were on the run but things happened and well you know what happens later.. " he trailed.

"You did marry someone important Kai, remember I am the ex-Queen of Luna?" she said, turning around to look at him.

"How can I forget? have got quite a knack for Queens," he said, a grin breaking on his face however it did not reach up to his eyes.

"Yeah- even then you love me and I do love you! Although you had to marry someone before- you supposed to make the right choices later, you found love with me, I was quite a big show myself- a simple mechanic and then I come out as the long lost princess of Luna. I am happy- elated for where I am right now-minus the sick part but I think I can endure it," she admitted.

"I see, my happy outlook has quite rubbed on you - I don't want to change anything even if I could- I'm so fortunate to be here with you," he exclaimed, caressing the back of her hand with his thumbs.

"You know if someone had told me when I was 15 that someone would love me when I grow older, I would have called them a fool and probably shut my door on their face. If they had told me that I would be married to a kind man at 23, found true love at 16- I would have yelled at them to make young girls fantasize about something like marriage when there were important things in life. If they had told me that I would marry a man who loved me, much less an Emperor- I would have been shocked for the love of my life. No pun intended so don't point it out or grin- " he did grin even when she asked him not to "-Can't believe I'm really married to you even at the age of 25- like you are believable but the whole Emperor of EC is a too big thing for me who felt unlovable till 16- like hell with the world but I had thought I would probably be those single cat ladies just without the cats- I think they are nasty. Yet here I am!" She rambled, declaring the last part with a blinding smile.

"Quite unbelievable, ain't it?

"Yup- wouldn't change a thing though!"

"If I asked you-

"to marry you again then I would say yes without a moment to lose," she continued.

She did not know who rushed in first but his lips were on her and he whispered 'Good' against her lips, kissing them fervently. Before thinking she moved, making Kai groan at the loss of sudden contact, taking as many tissues that could fit in her hands from the tabletop, she blew her nose, feeling sickening.

Kai looking at his wife firstly in a bizarre way followed by a sympathetic smile, "Maybe we should keep kissing to the minimum."

"Yeah- I look gross," she agreed.

"Do you want to take some steam?"

"No- I'm okay," she answered, continuing to blow her nose which considerably contradicted her sentence.

"Tell me if you change your mind."

"Can you pass me more tissue?"

Having cleared her nose long enough to go without a blowing nose fit for at least a few minutes she whined, "My nose hurts- is it pink?"

"Really Cinder?- are you caring about your slightly pink nose right now instead of your health? I think it looks cute tho-"

"You had called me cute even when I was drenched in mud. Sorry for blowing up like that!"

He chuckled adding, "Quite got me confused for a minute there"

"I can't believe I'm sick on our anniversary-"

"Hey! I was sick on my birthday, don't beat yourself on that."

"C'mon aren't you even a tiny bit sad Kai- you make it sound like you are happy seeing me sick in bed!" she complained.

"I had be happy with you in bed, don't you think?" he said with a smirk tugging at his lips.

"I don't wanna sneeze and blow my nose on you so, NO!-" she replied. "-I don't think I have the energy to do anything."

"You had your meds?" he inquired.

"Yes," she said avoiding his gaze.

"And when did you take them?"

"Well- one is remaining- it's really bitter, can't I just skip it? Please!" she pleaded.

Paying no heed to her words, he just leapt out of the bed to fetch the said tablet- returning with the red and white capsule that was going to cause Cinder much misery.

"Here," he said, offering the glass of water.

"Please, Kai, it's so bitter and I don't want to spoil the taste of the soup-"

"Cinder, I'm not going to budge- you are having it. Personally, it's not that bad, you drilled Camilla into being nice for a day last week- you can handle a bitter tablet."

She stared at him not moving to pick the capsule from his hand, he stared back. It was a healthy competition, the one who blinks first will lose-

"Achoo- chu-" she sneezed rather unexpectedly making Kai victorious.

"I hate you," she mumbled glaring at him as she took the med- sticking her tongue out to him as the harsh taste of medicine could be felt down her throat.

"Love you too, Cinder."

"I was not even half as troublesome as you are right now when you were down with that stomach bug 6 months ago- I even allowed you to read those documents in bed and this is how you repay me for my kindness?"

"I repay in kindness- Come here, you can have the cuddles as your reward."

This time she kept some tissues nearby just in case and as revenge kept her very cold hand on Kai's bare torso. It did not look like it bothered him- he just snuggled closer to her, making sure that her hand was as much on her as on him.

"I can't believe it's already been two years since we married!" she blurted out.

"True."

"Quite hard to digest even after 2 years of marriage!- Sometimes my heart can't handle the sight of you in the morning- so peaceful and lovely," he declared.

"And you look so good at night when you scrunch your nose yawning- you look so adorable with those puppy eyes you make!" she added.

"Remember that time when Torin had almost found us hiding in the library trying to skip the staff maintenance meeting?" he asked.

"It was not much hiding, Kai- like he could have tracked us within seconds if he wanted to... I think he was hiding as well," she replied, remembering how Torin had spent so long trying to find them in the library even when they were loud enough to be found by anyone.

"Yeah, and when he did that toast for you after you had check-mated Camilla at her own games, I can't forget how proud he looked of you."

"Well, you had helped and I did not do much if you would not have been there to-"

""Oh, don't flatter me! It was you who stole the whole show that day. Vargas was so happy someone had skived Camilla after all these years," He chuckled and continued to add, "Stars, the toast that Thorne made-"

"No, Kai! I don't wanna remember it- I'm so happy he would not be teasing me tomorrow, I'm gonna use the 'sick' card if he embarrasses me like that again."

"He was so funny-"

"That humour traumatized me for life!"

"Well, he outdid himself that one time."

Recalling her friend's more than bizarre speech at their wedding she smiled fondly, her gaze falling on the large clock in their bedroom.

"Kai it's almost 12," she pointed out.

"Oh! yeah- quite late, uhm- er-early?" he sputtered.

"It's our anniversary!" she exclaimed with joy.

"Do you think we can make a toast? like is it okay for you to have wine?" he questioned for her approval and well-being.

"I don't think a glass of wine will worsen my flu, so why not?"

"Okay, I will fetch it before it the clock strikes 12," he said, already moving out to get the bottle of red wine they had stashed somewhere in the adjacent kitchen they had made in their chambers since they had been engaged. Cinder did not really like going to the Palace's kitchen every time she had a strong craving for some midnight snacks. Besides it was too far from their and Cinder was not really very happy about that- she liked cooking, scratch that- she liked seeing Kai cook and eat the delicacies he made.

Kai walked few minutes before it was midnight, trying to balance the two glasses and the bottle.

"Here let me help," she said, taking the bottle from his hand, uncorking it while he held the glasses for her to pour into. Having poured both their glasses to an acceptable amount, they turned to the clock waiting in anticipation for the final hour of the day to end.

"Wanna say something?"

7.6.

"Not yet!"

4.3

And as the digits changed to zeroes, they looked at each other and said, "Here's to the two years of marriage and togetherness-"

"- and many more that will come!"

"To my charming husband,"

"To my loving wife,"

The clink of the glass was unheard over their words.

"To us!"

__

A/N: I think you deserve fluff after the torture that I gave you! Here's nice married Kaider fluff for you guys.

The person named 'Suho' is none other than Torin's husband and I like to imagine Kai cooking and doing all sort of domestic stuff, even when he is the Emperor. This fic had wholesome amount of fluff, and sickness in it. I have really written so many shots this week- have been quite productive this month thanks to Ship Week.

Be sure to comment and vote!

Taglist: @cinderswrench @gingerale2017 @linhcinder686 @shellyseashell @ladyvesuvia @shelbylmkaider @levanariddle @cindersassasin @kaider-is-my-otp (Tell me if you wanna be added/removed)

[fallout4reactsblog]

I was wondering if you could do an ask for those of us who don't have family to celebrate the holidays with. Companions react to Sole being upset spending their first holiday season without their family.

Cait: “Do you wish you had someone this holiday, Cait?”

It’s a weird question to come out of nowhere, and she leans around the curio she’s searching through to eye them quizzically.

“Why do you ask?”

They shrug. “I was just thinking about my family and everything, and how I miss them, and I thought I would get your opinion.”

She chews her lip thoughtfully and returns to rifling through drawers. “The way I see it, this is the one holiday I actually do have someone to spend it with. Before you, nobody gave a shite about me, you know?”

“I guess I hadn’t thought about it like that.” They laugh a little. “What an odd pair we make.”

“At least you’re not completely alone. You’ve got me, after all. Think of how much worse it would’ve been if you were by yourself.”

“That’s a surprisingly adept observation coming from you, Cait.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She chucks a loose snack cake at them.

They dodge, laughing. “It’s just strangely philosophical, you telling me to focus on what I have instead of dwelling on what I don’t. I guess I can learn a thing or too from you, huh?”

“Damn straight. You should listen to me more.”

“If I did, I’d end up dead.”

“Probably just maimed.”

“Brutally maimed.”

She waves a hand through the air. “Details.”

When they’ve quieted for a moment, she murmurs, “But for real, I am glad to have you, sole.”

Quietly, she hears. “I’m glad to have you, too.”

Curie: She taps the end of her pencil to her cheek as she searches for the right word. It’s not “impossible,” and “improbably” sounds too formal, but the word she wants escapes her. Frustrating.

“Curie?”

She glances up at sole, who’s sitting on the other end of the couch. In the middle, their legs have tangled together, and she looks past them to look them in the eyes.

“What is troubling you Madame/Monsieur?”

“Nothing, nothing. I just noticed you’ve been a lot more affectionate lately. I mean, you’ve barely left my side.”

She flushes. “Is that a problem?”

“No, not at all, I just thought it was strange.”

“I simply thought you would be feeling more lonely this time of year. Holidays can be a difficult time of year for those of us without family to celebrate with, non?”

They narrow their eyes. “Why were you even thinking about that?”

“I was simply reminiscing on my time with the other scientists before the war, and I remembered how lonely it was all by myself in the lab. They were always so happy around the holidays. And I thought to myself, sole is not in a lab, but they are also missing their family. I thought perhaps you would appreciate a little extra support.”

“That’s...” they shake their head. “That’s really sweet, Curie. Thank you.”

“Oh, do not mention it. It is merely a gesture of our friendship. You saved me from my loneliness, and I wish to return the favor.”

“Still, it’s kind. I appreciate it.”

“You are more than welcome, Madame/Monsieur. Anytime.”

Danse: He finds them out on the deck, wind whipping past them as they stare over the Commonwealth. They’ve been distant for days now, giving nothing but short answers, eyes far away when they talk. If he’s honest, he’s worried about them. It’s why he’s ditched the power armor in his bay for the moment; right now he wants to be a person, not a Paladin.

“Evening, Danse.”

They don’t turn to him when he approaches, and he doesn’t know how they can recognize his footsteps outside power armor, but he doesn’t question it. He just leans against the railing beside them.

“Something has been troubling you,” he says.

They sigh, and he can almost see them deflate against the railing. “You know, Danse, I thought that it would be easier than this.”

“What?”

“The holidays. I thought, you know, even though my family wasn’t here, maybe the Brotherhood would help fill that- that emptiness, if even just a little. But I guess it just doesn’t look like that.”

Their words hit too close to home, and he deflates a little, too. “I’m afraid you’re a year too late. With the war, there will be no holidays onboard the Prydwen.”

“Did there used to be?”

He nods, not trusting his words. He can’t tell them that, even though he understands why it’s necessary, it still hurts. They’re still new, still building their trust. He can’t sabotage that.

His silence means nothing, though, as sole seems to read his mind. “You must miss that. In a way, you don’t have a family for the holidays, either.”

Gently, they lean their shoulder to his, and he allows himself to lean back against them, just this once.

“At least we have each other,” they whisper.

He nods. “At least there’s that.”

Deacon: He doesn’t want to say it in such direct terms, but the truth is that sole’s house is a little... sad.

To be fair, they’ve only been in the Commonwealth a few months, and a lot of that was spent trying to figure out what the hell had happened to them and the world, but still. Sole’s place feels entirely like a house, and nothing like a home.

“You know, boss, you should just spend the holidays with us.”

They look up from their coffee mug from their place at their sad table with its sad, lone chair. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, just come live at HQ a while. It’s gotta be better than spending the holidays alone out here.” Slowly, he turns in a circle, as if to emphasize how empty (and sad) the walls are.

“But my memories are here, Deeks.” They blow on their coffee. “This is where I should’ve spent the holiday.”

“Yeah, with your family, if the world hadn’t gone to shit and blown up. But it did, so you should just come celebrate with us. Trust me, you’ll be a lot happier.”

He doesn’t mention the number of holidays he spent in an empty farmhouse for the sake of memory, and thankfully sole doesn’t ask.

“Deacon, are you actually... worried about me?”

“Oh, you bet, boss. I mean, look at this place. It doesn’t even have electricity. You couldn’t have holiday lights if you wanted them.”

“Do you guys do holiday lights?”

He shrugs. “Do you want to?”

For a brief moment, there’s a spark of life in their eyes. “Would it be okay?”

“Who’s gonna complain? Carrington? Just tell him that he doesn’t have to look at them.”

They hum and say, “I guess I’ll consider it.”

That’s his cue to hit him with the ace up his sleeve. “We do a game of Secret Santa, too.”

They try to hide their smile, but they’re bad at it, and Deacon breathes a sigh of relief, knowing they’re sold.

Gage: “Fuck do you mean, you miss them?”

“I mean I was fucking married and had a kid, you eyeless prick. I actually cared about my family, and it sucks that they’re not here. I’m sorry that you cut ties with your family completely, but not all of us can or want to.”

He huffs, because he can tell he’s pushing a little too hard, and if he keeps going he’ll end up wishing he’d kept his mouth shut.

“Well, Overboss, trust me when I say you won’t even remember them. We got a bit of a tradition here, ourselves.”

They eye him warily. “Do tell.”

He shrugs. “Not much to say. It’s a party, we get drunk, fuck around, light some shit on fire. It’s a good time. Can’t lay around feelin’ sorry for yourself when you’re lightin’ something on fire.”

“So, Yule. You’ve reinvented Yule.”

“Call it what you want. As long as you have a good time, who cares, right?”

Their face is still doubtful.

“At least give it a shot, boss. You’re gonna have to be there anyway to keep up appearances. Might as well try to have a good time while you’re at it.”

“Alright.” They sigh in resignation. “But if I end up drunk and crying in a corner, it’s your fault.”

“I promise to hide you before you can embarrass yourself.”

“I guess that’s all I can ask for.”

Hancock: “Hey, sister/brother, what do you think of these?”

He holds up a couple strands of garland and tosses them over to a waiting sole, still perched on a ladder.

“Shockingly good condition,” they say. “But I think this stuff usually goes on the tree.”

He waves a hand. “You put it wherever you want. I’m just helpin’.”

“Well, do you have a tree?”

“Somewhere around here.” He glances around, but realizing it’s not within direct line-of-sight, shouts, “Fahrenheit!”

“What?” Her voice is muffled by the distance, but her irritation is not.

“Where’s my tree?”

“Wherever you put it last year. I don’t keep track.”

“Damn,” he huffs. “ I thought for sure that’d work.”

He heads into the other room to rifle around for his tree. There’s a beat of silence before sole says, “You know, I never have properly thanked you.”

“For what?” He glares down at the wreath in his hands, which had tricked him into thinking it was a tree, before shrugging and tossing it to the side to get hung up anyway.

“For giving me stuff to do like this. Staying busy really helps me feel less... alone, you know?”

He rocks back on his heels, peering into the other room to make eye contact with them. “Sure thing, sunshine. But I’ll warn you, it wasn’t all my idea.”

They laugh a little. “I figure Daisy had a hand in things, but still. It’s nice of you.”

“I appreciate you assumin’ that I’m not just using you for free labor.”

They laugh again, for real this time, and he can’t help but smile.”

MacCready: He wants to say something. He wants to tell them that it’ll be alright, that he’s been there and it hurts, but you make it out in the end. He wants to be able to comfort them somehow as he watches them duck their head and pretend to not see the decorations in Diamond City, but he’ll be damned if he knows how.

Fortunately, sole has the words where he does not.

“This sucks,” they declare, holed up in the corner of the Bobrov’s bar.

“I’ll drink to that.”

They clink their beers together, sip, and lapse into silence before sole says, “I really miss my family, Mac.”

He closes his eyes, pictures his boy back in D.C., and agrees. “It’s a tough time of year to be without them.”

They reach across the table and grab his hand. “Next year, we’ll go down to D.C. We’ll have found the cure by then. We’ll go see Duncan.”

“Would you really want to go?” His heart is thrilled to hear their words, but his head tells him that might only hurt them more.

“Of course. I want to see you go home and see your kid. I wish we could’ve done it this year, but...”

“That didn’t work out,” he finishes.

They nod.

“You know,” he says, taking another sip of beer, “next year we’ll have a big family celebration to compensate.”

“What, you and Duncan?”

“No, all three of us. We’ll go the whole nine yards. Lights, presents, everything. The real deal, all three of us. Family.”

That brings a smile to their face, and he smiles to see it. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but for a moment he can see the whole thing before him. The three of them together, laughing, making a family out of nothing.

Just make it through this year, he promises sole silently, and I’ll make sure you have a family holiday again.

Nick: He eyes sole in the corner of the agency, where they’re talking to Ellie about some case they’re working. They’ve been talking about leaving these past few days, about heading up to Sanctuary for the holidays. It doesn’t sit right with him. He knows sole, and he knows that only bad things await them at their old home this year.

“Well, I’m headed out.” They breeze by his desk to grab their hat. “Have a nice holiday, you two.

He looks them dead in the eyes and asks, “Why?”

They freeze right where they are. “Why what?”

“Why are you leaving? Got somethin’ real exciting up north?”

Their expression tells him they don’t have a good answer, and he sighs.

“Look, kid, I get it. You think you wanna be alone to mourn and cope with your loss. But I’m tellin’ ya, you’re not coping. You’re just making yourself miserable.”

Under their breath, they mutter, “Damn detectives. Always analyzing you,” before turning to him directly. “Well, you and Ellie already have your thing going on. I’d hate to intrude...”

“You’re not intruding,” Ellie pipes up. “In fact, I already bought you a present. In a way, it would almost be ruder to leave.”

“I bought one, too,” he says. “How about that?”

They hesitate. “Are you sure?”

“Bed upstairs is all yours. Stay a while. It’s not like ya can’t change your mind and leave later.”

They turn to Ellie, but she’s just nodding along. “I freshened up the sheets just the other day, actually.”

“Well... alright.”

He lets himself smile.

Piper: “Damn, Blue. This place looks worse than the Glowing Sea.”

Her eyes scan Sanctuary Hills. Even Preston has headed off to the Castle for the month, so the place looks well and truly abandoned. The breeze kicks up as if on cue, scattering a few leaves across the road.

“Isn’t it great?” They kick a pebble across the street, bitter expression on their face. “No family for the holidays, and nobody else, either.”

“You can’t stay here,” she says, staring at the bleak, run-down houses.

They shrug. “I don’t really have anywhere else to go. I could stay at one of the other settlements, but that just feels weird. My home is here.”

Piper shakes her head. “No way, Blue. I won’t allow it. You are not spending the holidays here and that is final, you hear me? Final.”

They glance over at her with a bemused expression. “Then where am I going?”

“Home, with me, to Diamond City. You’ll spend the holidays with Nat and I, not here in, well, this. I mean, at least Diamond City decorates.”

They laugh a little. “Piper there is no room for me in your house.”

“We will make room. This isn’t up for debate, Blue. And don’t start with the ‘Oh, I’ll be intruding’ stuff, either. Nat’s gonna be thrilled to see you, and I’ll be thrilled you aren’t moping around this place that could probably make Takahashi depressed.”

“What, the noodle bot?”

“The very same. Now, go make yourself a sleeping bag, get whatever else you need, and let’s go.”

They salute her mockingly, “Yes, ma’am. Right away, ma’am.”

Better to be mocked than leave sole here.

Preston: He knows without sole saying a word. He knows that pain, the haunted look that trails them, the way they linger just a moment too long in the doorway of their home before sighing. He can’t help but feel for them, too, because he still feels like he’s in those shoes, lonely around the one time of year no one should be lonely.

Maybe that’s why he does what he does. He tells himself he’s crazy, even as he treks across the Commonwealth, searching out their companions, inviting them to Sanctuary so sole can be surrounded by this new, found family they’ve made. He can’t let sole suffer alone, not this time, not ever. He knows what that loneliness does to a person, and he refuses to ask sole to face it on top of everything else.

He reminds X6 that, if he doesn’t play nice, he probably won’t live to regret it.

He meets Gage at neutral territory and, even though it disgusts him beyond belief, they make a temporary armistice for the next few months.

He tells Danse that if he makes so much as one comment about ghouls, synths, or anyone else, he won’t be able to get all the sand out of his power armor for months.

It’s not the most glamorous job in the Commonwealth, but he is bound and determined to make this thing work, no matter the cost or consequence.

X6: “I don’t think I understand. Your family is here.”

They sigh. “But they’re not, X6. Sure, I found Shaun, but he’s hardly the child I thought I was looking for, and my spouse is still dead. My own son doesn’t even know me, much less would want to spend the holidays with me. I may have found Shaun, but...” They sigh. “Did I find my son?”

He takes a moment to contemplate their words. “You’re quite distressed about this.”

“I guess?” They shake their head. “I’m just lonely, X6. That’s all. I miss my family and having someone to spend the holidays with. It just doesn’t feel the same.”

He looks at them, takes in their tired, beaten expression and their slumped posture. Quietly, he evaluates a series of options and outcomes before leaning in and whispering, “Do you want to know a secret?”

“What?”

“A secret. Do you want to know a secret?”

They slide toward him, dropping their voice to a whisper, too. “Yes.”

“Us coursers aren’t supposed to have holidays. We are not supposed to have a sense of family. You know this.”

“Of course.”

“Perhaps you would like to join us, who also have no family, for a small celebration, then. It isn’t much, but there are snack cakes.”

They look at him, almost impressed. “X6, you know that’s not allowed. Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I trust you, and I think you need us as much as we need each other. I only ask that you don’t report it, if for no other reason than our bond as friends.”

“I- X6, I’m not going to tell anyone. I’d love to go.”

He nods. “It’s settled then. December twenty-second, one in the morning, the abandoned areas behind biosciences. Bring snack cakes, and bring lots if you want to make friends.”

[uwua3]

hello! it's me again!! um.. can i request a day at an amusement park with taichi please? i feel like he doesn't get enough love.

thank you so much for requesting, clover~ ♡ please enjoy this super fluffy piece, just for you~ ´͈ ᵕ `͈ ♡°◌̊ i put lots n lots of #LOVE in it! <3 i love you with all my heart!!!

summary: even cupid deserves love, too!

warnings: bad relationship (slight mention), envy/jealousy, loneliness, misunderstandings

author’s note: happy valentine’s eve eve, my friends! i’m sooo #Happy !! i love valentine’s so much ♡(*´･ω･)(･ω･`*)♡ if you are Free on February 14, i am here waiting with flowers <3 (◞ꈍ∇ꈍ)◞⋆**💐 (please celebrate v-day with me TT) ~ in celebration of my favorite holiday, please smile at this fluffy headcanon of taichi as the lovely, adorable cupid! 🏹💗 i love you all!

word count: 3,567

music: heart attack – loona (chuu)

stupid cupid.

🍁🛹 nanao taichi

every year, taichi spent valentine’s day alone

february 14th was another day of being absolutely single. but, for him, there was nothing better than seeing love in the air

especially as the “cupid” working all february long!

as cupid, taichi looked forward to becoming the epitome of pink & red hearts every year. it was a job no one else except him could do; who else to predict the probability of relationships than the matchmaker himself?

taichi loved love! he always could tell when people had crushes on others growing up like it was second nature. he couldn’t even count on both hands how many successful relationships he’s gotten together

love came easy to taichi. it was everything valentine’s was: floating heart balloons, bouquets of red roses, sights only romance movies would show, chocolates that came in heart-shaped boxes, poems from the heart, and so much more~!

the moment taichi set his eyes on someone, it was like he was the one who loaded the arrow and fired it. he knew who liked who, it was what he did best. his intuition was second to none, he was the amusement park’s cupid

for a month, all taichi had to do was sit at a booth and predict a person’s love life leading up to valentine’s day. it was easy money considering his success rate was 99%!

(we don’t talk about the time taichi accidentally caused a break-up... but, that’s beside the point!) (at least they’re happy now...)

yet, there was one thing wrong: taichi was loveless

despite being made of love, breathing love, living out of love, taichi had never celebrated valentine’s. it seemed like all the arrows missed him completely

taichi had never experienced any of the things that made love love, but that was okay! sure, it was a little lonely seeing happy couples all month but... it was worth it to see the smile on people’s faces! love wasn’t just romantic, platonic love was super important!

still... taichi forced himself to smile to apply the heart-shaped blush to his cheeks. there was a part of him, a hole in his heart, that longed to know what valentine’s felt like

FEBRUARY 1 — taichi fluttered the pair of angel wings excitedly, happy to be back in his valentine’s attire. he couldn’t help but jump up and down, squealing about how good it was to be “back in business”

even without his usual pink & red contacts, taichi’s eyes would’ve had heart-shaped pupils with how much love he had for this holiday season! as he greeted his coworkers for the first time in a year, taichi stood out amongst the crowd of workers listening to their orders for the day

as usual, taichi would be the cupid at a small, glittery booth that was louder than life itself. sure, it was a very discreet and low-budget set up, but it always was a fan favorite to catch this valentine’s season

taichi couldn’t help but run off to his station the moment he was dismissed, his wings flapping behind him and sling of heart arrows jostling. he almost slid past his stool but skidded, luckily landing in the right place with a bright grin on his face

when the afternoon officially began with people beginning to come in to the amusement park, taichi tapped his feet with exhiliration. showtime!

“welcome~! find out your love fortune this valentine’s season!” taichi happily advertised, putting his heart and soul into gathering the attention of the masses. slowly but surely, people began flocking to his side, unable to resist the teen’s infectious love and happiness to be here

it was like taichi raised the bow & arrow and fired into the squad. it captured the hearts of a hundred as people sat down across from him, seeking his love & relationship advice

there was a multitude of ways taichi could make someone’s day. whether it was reading love oracle cards or mixing up candy hearts, taichi loved putting on a show for people to enjoy

during a gap between couple sessions, taichi leaned his cheek against his hand and quietly whined to himself. he had recently just met such an adorable and lovey-dovey pair, even he felt sick with how much sweetness there was!

taichi wished he had that... before looking up. suddenly, his heart skipped a beat

it was like the gods & goddesses of love had heard his prayers because today was the first day he saw you

someone passed by the forming line. you hadn’t even noticed him, but taichi had certainly noticed you. when the moment passed and you disappeared, taichi had to focus before getting back into his cupid persona, smiling charmingly like nothing had happened

but, something did happen. taichi had just experienced love at first sight!

taichi hadn’t even had time to load his arrow before you hit him with his

it’s not like he was going to see you again, though... taichi’s loveless life wasn’t a romance film. nor a sappy piece of literature, unfortunately

though, for once, cupid wished he had someone to share this special month with like everyone else

FEBRUARY 3 — taichi was in charge of the valentine’s decorations comimg up. this was perhaps, the best news he had received in his entire life

there was something about folding a million origami hearts that made taichi’s own heart grow a thousand times larger. it was calming during his breaks to fold and fold again, with no thought process behind a skill that came naturally

as taichi cut the colorful paper into the perfect size with ease, he was humming the latest pop song on the radio before he heard something that made his heart break

arguing?! in the loveliest season of the year?!

taichi glanced around and noticed a distinct couple. the pair was fighting rather publicly despite the other person trying to keep their voice down and calm their partner down. before taichi could turn away and mind his own business, they sighed and turned in his direction

taichi felt his breath hitch in his throat as his hands froze, the paper suddenly bent in his tight grip. it was you, the person from two days ago!

so much for it being an one-time thing... taichi could already feel the butterflies in his stomach just at the thought of this being fate. twice in a row? did this mean something?

as taichi tried to search through his brain for what the chick flicks and rom-coms liked to say, you had already left with the person you were arguing with. as they walked ahead of you, you hung your head low with the shame and embarrassment of public humiliation

for some reason, taichi hated seeing you like that despite not knowing anything about you. he was irrationally frustrated as well; how could anyone just make you sad like that and not apologize?

taichi figured he could do one last love reading for the day

when you passed by his booth, you didn’t notice how taichi had left a surprise in your jacket pocket

you exhaled softly when you arrived home, leaning on the door and closing your eyes. when you put your hands in your pockets, you paused as you felt something between your fingers

pulling it out, you noticed a small red origami heart. inside, was a message in a messy, hurried scrawl

“leave them, you deserve better. be with someone who makes you smile! — cupid ♡”

despite everything, you smiled

FEBRUARY 5 — taichi barely had time before there was a person at his booth: you

before taichi could even process that you were real, you spoke: “i broke up with them.”

taichi blinked. this was the first thing he’d learn about you, and it wasn’t even your name! this type of news usually wouldn’t make taichi feel like this, but he was honestly over the moon. he didn’t need to know anything else to know your previous partner had little to no consideration for your feelings

he’d definitely be a better boyfr—wait, what?!

“oh.” taichi said lamely, but his heart jumped when you laughed. it was a nice sound, one that made him think of giant teddy bears and sugary sweet candy. taichi wondered how hard the arrow hit, it must’ve gotten bullseye

“what’s your name?” you took the words right out of his mouth, and taichi blushed under the attention. despite being the main focus of the valentine’s event every year, it was different coming from you. it was like... you were really seeing him

“cupid, at your service!” taichi quickly jumped into character, bowing with a flourish. if he was in an anime, he’d be sparkling with rose effects right now, taichi thought proudly

but, you didn’t clap or amuse him like his other customers. instead, you observed him with a questioning look. it was like you were picturing him without the valentine’s attire, without the wings, bow & arrow, and glitter across his face

“i meant your real name.”

taichi blanked. you were a surprise; he had never been this speechless in his entire life... it was honestly kinda embarrassing for him, taichi was flustered for once

“but, why do you want to know?”

“because you make me smile.”

when taichi told you, you said it aloud and he finally understood what it meant to have a crush

all it took was one conversation and taichi was head over heels for you

FEBRUARY 7 — taichi had never been a target of love before. no one had ever liked him, nor had he ever developed a serious crush on someone before. he was far too busy fixing everyone’s disaster of a love life, never mind his own!

yet, it was like the world aligned so you two could meet. taichi swore the stars aligned, fate was working its magic so you both would meet at this giant amusement park during the most romantic month of the year

even though it had only been a week or so since taichi first met you, it felt like you two knew each other for your whole lives. after getting over the fact you made his heart beat way too fast, taichi quickly warmed up to you and vise versa

while you only came to actually thank cupid for helping you get out of a bad relationship, you realized you very much liked the person behind the angel wings. taichi was everything you expected and more, with his personality that reminded you valentine’s maybe wasn’t so bad

speaking of, taichi was absolutely in hysterics when he found out your stance on valentine’s

“what?! what do you mean you don’t....” taichi took in a deep breath, as if it pained him to continue. “you don’t like valentine’s day?!”

you knew it was ironic to befriend literal cupid when you didn’t have a taste for romance to begin with, but you tried to hide your entertained expression with a lighthearted eye roll

“i’ve never celebrated it. it seems like a capitalistic excuse to buy a bunch of overpriced stuff, to be honest.”

you physically winced when you heard the crack of taichi’s poor, poor heart. his puppy eyes widened at your revelation and leaned forward, uncharacteristically serious for his cupid persona. luckily, he was taking a fifteen-minute break so the curtains were drawn to hide his immense sadness

“b-but!” taichi spluttered, his brain running a million arguments at once, which was way too fast for his mouth. “it’s valentine’s day! it’s sooo romantic! love is everywhere! how can you not love love?”

you thought about it some more before shrugging, crossing your legs and trying to not break taichi’s heart even more. the poor cupid, it looked like he was going to cry like a baby

“why do you love love then?”

only you could render taichi silent. he had never been truly asked that question before, nor had he reflected on why he was the first person to become cupid every year

when taichi struggled to answer, you waited before he started speaking. it lacked the usual wonder and excitement he always had, it seemed like it was almost... personal

“i love love because... love is who i am. i didn’t...” taichi stopped, as if considering sharing with you before continuing, not giving you the second to tell him he didn’t have to. he wanted to, anyways

“i didn’t have love to call my own, at least, not the way i wanted it. so, i made my own love. i love people, i love the world, i love everything. everything deserves love! just because i love a lot, doesn’t make it any less special.”

you thought taichi would’ve said the expensive bouquets florists made of the prettiest roses. or the largest stuffed animals holding stitched plush hearts in their paws. or sunsets with classical music playing in the background like a nicholas sparks film. not... not that

“okay you sap, maybe valentine’s day isn’t that bad if you like it, then.”

taichi’s wings fluttered and he sat up, a smile upon his face

“i promise, valentine’s day is the best!”

now, that i’ve met you, taichi thought

FEBRUARY 9 — taichi came to work only to find a bouquet of flowers upon his booth. they were the grandest displays of affection yet, with the best-smelling hundred petal roses he had ever imagined

you, on the other hand, weren’t so impressed

“cupid, have you stolen the heart of another?” you said in the tone of a dramatic shakespearian actor, pretending to swoon when taichi hid his face in the flowers

“i... usually get flowers like these when i work, it’s nothing, really.” taichi mumbled, holding the flowers to his chest as a warm feeling spread across his body. he usually never got flowers, this was the first time someone had found his charms alluring enough to gift him such a pricey present

one look and you already knew he was lying. your heart fell a little when you noticed how happy taichi was, but you pretended to not care as you winked at him

“oh~ taichi has a lover now, huh?” he giggled in response, adamantly denying it despite holding the bouquet like it was his most prized possession. you glared a little harder at the red roses more than you’d like to admit

why were you feeling so... jealous? it’s not like you wanted the flowers or anything so—oh

when taichi turned that lovesick gaze towards you, you suddenly felt like you were on a sugar rush

when taichi performed his role better than ever with his newfound love for all things traditionally romantic, you watched off to the side

you reached up to your chest to feel the arrow, but to no avail

have you fallen for cupid?

FEBRUARY 11 — taichi shuffled the cards professionally, but his behavior was anything but that. the last time you had sat on the other side of the booth was days ago, but here you were, waiting for your love reading

when taichi met you, you weren’t a person who heavily believed in love. romance wasn’t something that made you happy nor did valentine’s day make you count down to february 14th like him. yet, you suddenly paid for a reading

you stared expectantly at him, your face once again unreadable and hard to distinguish. even if taichi was friends with you, he never mastered the art of reading you like a romance book. it was one of his most prominent talents, too, so it was strange why he couldn’t

you only showed him what you wanted him to see, unfortunately. regardless, taichi did the whole shebang, theatrics and all even if you had seen it a thousand times by now

“welcome to cupid’s love booth! let me read your love life~” taichi laid out the pink cards in a pretty, attention-grabbing manner before asking you to pick three. you did so relatively quickly, which taichi admired you for (he had once sat waiting for someone to pick, but they had taken nearly ten minutes. there was only so much cupid could do)

when taichi flipped them over, it was surprising, to say the least. of course, you didn’t understand a thing as you waited for him to explain. however, taichi fell quiet, reading the cards with furrowed eyebrows

“awww, come on, cupid, give it to me straight. am i destined to be single forever?” you joked but a part of you worried about taichi’s reaction. even though he wore his heart on his sleeve and always expressed his feelings, he had never reacted this negatively to a reading before

taichi laughed at your joke, but it felt like a customer service one. it seemed strained and before you could ask if he was okay, taichi’s brilliant wink put him back as the amusement park’s favorite cupid

“is there someone you’re not telling me about~? it seems like you have a friend you like, am i right?” taichi had hit bullseye; how did he know just from those cards? you didn’t answer, just offering an innocent shrug as if you didn’t care. you very much did, though

“so i am! i’m seeing that you’ve recently liked them, ahhh, young love~” taichi sighed, as if in love with the concept already. “looks like love’s in the air, my dear, so don’t worry about a thing! they like you back, without a doubt.”

you looked up at this, eyes wide before returning to your nonchalant state. taichi wondered what that could’ve meant even as he tried to maintain his shaking hands

“they do? how do you know?”

taichi held a finger to his lips, as if it was a secret only cupid could know

“shhh, i just know. trust me, they’d be a fool to not like you back.”

you could tell it wasn’t cupid just talking, and you knew what you had to do

“i’ll ask them to be my valentine tomorrow, then.”

taichi’s heart broke but... as long as you were happy, how could he say no?

FEBRUARY 13 — taichi wished he had a valentine. if only you liked him, maybe he would’ve asked you, his first crush, to be his this month (and even longer). but, you were somewhere else, asking someone else to be your valentine

taichi frowned, finding it hard to maintain his happy excitement forever as the line began becoming longer and longer. taichi huffed, looking around as if you’d suddenly appear. but, taichi’s life wasn’t a movie...

“hey cupid, why so sad?”

taichi turned around to see the biggest plushie he had seen in his entire life. it covered your entire frame, with the dog ears flopping over its giant black eyes cutely. in its arms was a red heart with the cursive words “i like you!” in white stitching

before taichi could even react, you peeked over the plush’s shoulder with a slightly embarrassed look

“can you take it already? i’ve been getting weird looks from everyone i’ve walked by.”

taichi took the plush and placed it on the seat next to him, about to speak before you pulled out an even bigger bouquet from behind your back

they weren’t just red roses. they were a rainbow of them, ranging from pink, white, yellow, blue, red, and even black! taichi could barely even count how many there were before you passed it to him, doing your best to not pass out and die from how sappy this all was

“see, these are even better than the bouquet you got last time. i clearly am the better, uh, person for you, you know?” taichi didn’t have the time to respond before you turned around again and presented a display of chocolates, all of them heart-shaped and tied in ribbon

“you like chocolate, right? yeah, of course you do, i also got—” before you could keep rambling, taichi gently held your hand. your heartrate skyrocketed and you froze, unsure of what to do when taichi was looking at you with his heart eyes

“you got all of this... for me?” taichi was genuinely amazed and flattered, a light dust of red across his cheeks at how romantic all of this was. you blushed as well, looking away bashfully

“i mean, yeah. i don’t see anyone else around.”

“but... you don’t like valentine’s day?”

you sighed, knowing the next words out of your mouth are word he’s going to never let you forget

“but, i like you.”

“but... i thought you liked someone else?”

“stupid cupid, i like you. only you.”

taichi stood up, not as cupid, but as himself. when he softly turned your head towards him, he smiled gently, squeezing your hands with all the appreciation in the world

“i like you, too. with or without the romance, i would’ve said yes to being your valentine no matter what you did.”

you breathed a sigh of relief. sure, you didn’t love love like taichi, but... he deserved it

“i have an idea.” you proposed, leaning in closer as taichi awaited your response with bated breath

“you should open a kissing booth.”

“you’d be my only customer.”

“then give me my kiss already!”

FEBRUARY 14 (valentine’s day) — every year, taichi spent valentine’s alone. until, he met you

“stupid cupid, i like you.”

you and taichi were shot by cupid’s arrow this valentine’s day

[ex-silent-reader]

Happy Holidays fic recs

Happy Holidays everybody!  I haven’t been commenting on posts individually like i normally like to so it’s kind of backed up a bit. I still really want to thank all the authors who have been sharing their stories with us and leave a lil itty bitty comment before I can expand on them for their own post so here’s that! Also I’ve seen a lot of undeserved negativity being spread to a lot of authors and I just want to thank you all for sharing your work on this platform FOR FREE and remind you that you literally owe us nothing and I’m super grateful that you continue to share with us. These are just some stories that I’ve read this week, i’d def like to do another of these soon :)

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of these stories, each story is owned by the author tagged next to the title and the summary is pulled verbatim from their page, in quotation marks. The only thing I own is gratitude towards these authors for sharing their work with us.

Also all stories are rated M 

Also, a loooot of stories have come out lately and I haven’t had a chance to get to a lot of them yet but i hope to soon so I’ll hopefully make another one of these soon, but yea pls know that I’m not purposefully ignoring or excluding anything or anyone.

Jin;

last christmas | ksj x reader - @xjoonchildx

“ summary: it was bound to happen, eventually. after months of near misses at barbecues and birthdays, there’s no avoiding your ex-husband at hoseok’s annual christmas bash. but it’s fine, totally fine, because you’re both adults – and you’ve both brought dates and booze. what could go wrong? “

This story was amazing! First of all, I love the comedy surrounding the entire situation, Hobi with his 8 trees and instigator Yoongi who also wants them to get their shit together for Hobi’s sake. I love all au’s but sometimes exes to lovers is difficult for me to side with because I don’t see how people can bounce back from so much hurt but in this story it felt very natural how they were able to find their way back together and I really enjoyed the insight to their relationship, especially near the end.

Yoongi;

CREAM & SUGA -  @snackhobi

“summary: yoongi is your favourite regular. he’s patient, polite, and predictable, a-large-black-coffee-to-go-please, no cream, no sugar, thank you. rinse and repeat. the seasons might change, but yoongi’s order stays the same.

and then one fateful day in winter, yoongi asks about the weekly specials, orders a cup of christmas and sugary sweetness, and everything starts changing.”

Ya’ll. Yoongi fics just truly hit different. The plot of this was so adorable and him going out of his way like that to keep her engaged was so cute and just very Yoongi like. I also just really loved the descriptions in this, like how oc described making the drinks, it just made everything seem so real.

universe | myg drabble - @personasintro

                           “❥𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; you’re his whole universe, you just don’t know it yet – or him” 

ASDFGHJKL! Like, I really have no words for the way this made me feel. Like, ik it’s not a super healthy dynamic but the thought of a fixated Yoongi is.. I loved reading Yoongi being so fixated with oc and doing everything i his capability to meet her. I also was v interested in the part where he bumped into her and she didn’t react the way he expected because it made me think about how he (or any character’s with his mindset) cope when the fantast and reality don’t match.

Hobi;

 A Holly, Jolly Crisis (M) -  @kpopfanfictrash

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

This story made me feel so many things. Like there’s so many layers to it and both of their hurt, her visiting him and feeling betrayed while he felt pushed aside. This story was so complex and both characters had so many layers to them, but it’s still sooo well written and I was invested the entire time. Like, I genuinely can’t get my feelings out in a brief way so I’m looking forward to screaming about this in it’s own post.

Joonie;

 my only wish - knj | m - @ppersonna

“✹ summary- There are few things you hate most in this world. Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange… But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things. Christmas. And Kim Namjoon. So why did you agree to pretend to be Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend at his family Christmas party? Bah-Humbug. “

UM! Absolutely adored this story, of course it would be a fellow cream suit enthusiast who can bring so much justice to dreamy Joon. I loved how he was portrayed here and getting insight to both his and oc’s feelings made me root for them soooo hard.

new parent syndrome - @1kook

“ SUMMARY You love Namjoon, honest. But you love your daughter Hyejoo even more— it’s not a controversial sentiment when you know he’s the same way! —and going back to a regular adult life sans kids absolutely sucks. (Or so you thought.)”

The tag “dreamy husband joon” is extremelyyyy accurate. This story was just so cute and their relationship truly felt so intimate and lovely. Her being on the phone with Jimin while Joon was smash SENT me but it was also so hot like ASDFGHJKL that man can do no wrong tbh.

  laundry day - @snackhobi

“summary: You’ve been letting your laundry pile up for a little too long. Fortunately, your neighbour Namjoon is there to lend you a hand. “

Pls this was so hot. Like, I’ve made it very clear thus far that I’m a total simp for Joon, the thought of that man going strawberry picking and thinking to grab some for oc genuinely makes me SWOON. He’s an actual heartthrob.

   The Sweet in Sweet Potato - @sahmfanficbts

“ Summary: You’ve been roommates for years. Now that you’re catching feelings, it’s time to run away. “

This entire series has had me so invested but this chapter!!! I’m always a sucker for Joon but the way he was so clearly in her feels (for OC) but wanting to respect her need for distance, what a man. And I was so happy to see oc working through her feeling towards Joon.

Last Christmas (M) - @jjungkookislife

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

Damn, I really love when a misunderstanding is such a big catalyst for a bunch of drama/angst. It just really ups the tension for me because as the reader I know it was a misunderstanding but clearly the character’s don’t, so it just makes me really eager to see how they make amends. I really enjoyed seeing them slowly make amends and grow. Also the buildup to them deciding to give the relationship another go made the ending soooo satisfying.

Jimin;

 picking petals｜pjm - @taestybae

“ summary ↣ you asked for a baby, so a baby is what you’re going to get. “

I really have no words for this, like it was so asaifgjhhkc. First of all, I really enjoyed that it was through his pov, i don’t typically read stories like that (I just don’t often come across them) but this still felt so natural that I didn’t even realize until right now, writing this comment. Also, the imagery was so well described and the anticipation built made this story so enjoyable.

Taehyung;

 Deepest Indulgence  - @scribblemetae

“ Description/Summary: The world is a mess, gangs, violence and rates of poverty are at an all time high since corporations took over everything. You built your Sex house to be a safe place and a sanctuary for those in need, promising to protect anybody who needs it. What happens when an extremely attractive and very rich man walks through the door begging for a job at Deepest Indulgence? The one sex house that wasn’t meant for men like himself. “

I AM SO EAGER FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER TO COME OUT. Like, idk how I can even describe this correctly but this just feel so much like Tae...???? Like idk if that makes sense but just Tae being this v sensual man, but there still being more to him than that, just makes so much sense and even the word “indulgence” is just so sensual and reminiscent of him. Also, the storyline so far is something I’ve personally never seen before and I’m super invested in this world and story already. Very eager to see how their relationship progresses.

 let it snow | kth - @suga-kookiemonster

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

It’s the way I read this last night, it took me exactly an hour (3am to 4 am cause I’m a CLOWN), and I was so invested that I kept putting off sleep to finish it. Man, i’m a simp for this Tae (just like he is for oc lmao). I really enjoyed reading it and the mention of Jisoo earlier in the story had me on the edge of my seat the whole time wondering when things were gonna blow up. Everything was just so sweet and fluffy, and the confession really made me feel so soft for them both cause they both were so in their own heads and feelings they couldn’t see what was in front of them so I really enjoyed the confessions.

Jungkook;

Thank you, baby - @scribblemetae

“ Turns out the boy whos been stalking you for years has decided its about time he shows his face in the form of a picture, and decides its time to talk to you for real, in the form of a phone call. “

I genuinely don’t know how I can simp over this story in a short way but I’ll try my best. The characters are so complex and the storyline is twisted so many ways that make this so interesting to read and easy to become invested in. The way Jk is written, I understand why OC is lost on how to feel for him. Like, his actions are wrong, but actually meeting him and even seeing his though process, it’s hard to make him out to be the villian that his actions have categorized him as. I can’t wait to continue reading and write a full length comment about this!

FEED ME, FIGHT ME.  @yeojaa

“ What do you get when you mix a pissed off girlfriend with a neglectful boyfriend?  (Aside from trouble, that is.) “

I really enjoyed this, I love how aware of Jk and his boundaries the oc is and how she is cautious to walk the line and not push him too far while also letting him know how his actions make her feel. This just genuinely felt like a glimpse into a very real, very intimate relationship/moment and I loved that. I also just really love how this is written and I think you have a beautiful way with words. 

Chapstick - @softyoongiionly

“based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on. Or Jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. “

Idk if I’ve ever said it before, but I just love how you write relationships. Like, I can feel how comfortable they are with each other and how natural being together is for them. With your stories generally it just never feels forced and I really love that. I also really liked that we got Jk’s pov in the beginning, getting to see how tense he was really made me eager for their interactions and for him to feel comfortable and calm with her. Their interactions just felt so cute and natural and the end, assdjfhi, jk really deserves to be cherished and I loved seeing oc get him to the point of relaxation.

[thetranquilteal]

The Vintage Calendar [AO3] by @thetranquilteal

With the ending of her contract with the UK Armed Forces, all Claire Beauchamp wants for Christmas is to enjoy a quiet holiday in Scotland with her long-term boyfriend Frank Randall. While visiting with close friends, however, Claire is gifted with a vintage advent calendar that sets her life on a path she never expected... one that leads to Northern Badgers star, James Fraser.  

Modern Day AU loosely based on the Netflix Christmas movie ‘The Holiday Calendar’. New chapter posted every day!

A/N: Welcome to The Vintage Calendar! This story is prewritten and scheduled to update with a new chapter each and every day from now until December 24 (along with intermittent updates to my other Christmas stories Wonderful and The Gift). I hope you enjoy this Hallmark-esque tale and I wish you all a happy holiday. A x

Prologue

“Now then, dear, tell me. What are your plans for Christmas?”

“Just a quiet day together, I think,” Claire sipped at her tea as she thought on her answer. It hadn’t been a long drive from their B&B in Inverness to the Reverend’s Manse but in truth she was still exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sit down and enjoy a hot cuppa, Christmas being the last thing on her mind. “I’m not sure if Frank mentioned, but I’ve not celebrated for some years now.”

“Oh?” Mrs Graham sipped at her own cup casually and Claire appreciated the lack of judgement in her voice.

“I always loved the holiday as a small child - the lights, the festivities, the magic of it all - but with no family to celebrate with and seeing the things that I have over the years... I suppose I’ve turned into quite the Scrooge,” Claire chuckled. “That being said, even if we did decide to do something for Christmas I would still request a quiet day in. No work. No responsibilities,” she sighed happily at the thought. “That’s all I could ever want.”

“Frank mentioned you were stationed overseas, a time or two?”

“That’s correct,” Claire nodded. “My primary role as an Army Nurse was with overseas Medical Regiments. And I enjoyed it, I truly did - it was a very rewarding career and incredibly satisfying - but most recently I was assigned to one of the local Defence Medical Group Hospitals and after a couple of months… well, I realised how tired I was. It was like I had lost that spark that kept me going for so long. By the time renewal for my contract came around I knew I had done all that I needed to do. That it was time for a change.”

“Starting with a holiday in Inverness.”

“Yes,” Claire smiled happily. “It was a hard decision to leave the Armed Forces after so many years but there are so many more options to explore as a civilian and it means spending more time with Frank.” She turned to look at her boyfriend sitting over at the table with Reverend Wakefield, a multitude of papers and books open in front of them. The look on his face as they studied was one that she had most certainly missed.

“Long distance relationships can be difficult,” Mrs Graham acknowledged and Claire turned back to her.

“It feels as though we hardly know each other these days,” Claire admitted quietly. “I’m really looking forward to spending an entire month together with nothing to distract us. I think that’s what we need at this point.”

“Well, if you decide you would like some company come Christmas you are always welcome here at the Manse. Reginald would certainly love to have you both here, as would I,” without waiting for an answer, Mrs Graham continued. “Now, drink up your cup and let’s see what we’ve got there.”

Claire wasn’t at all surprised by the request. Upon their arrival in Inverness, Frank had forewarned her of Mrs Graham’s ‘eccentricities’. Reading tea leaves, she understood, was but one of the older lady’s many hobbies. She tipped up her cup and swallowed the last of her tea before handing it over.

“Well?” Claire joked as she watched Mrs Graham tip her cup this way and that. “Am I going to meet a tall, dark stranger and take a trip across the sea?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Mrs Graham smiled briefly before becoming more serious, her brow creased in contemplation. “There’s an angel which means good news, especially good fortune in love,” she tilted her head, “a clover which means happiness and prosperity that, being near the top of the cup, will likely come quickly. And would you look at that… you might well be right about going on a journey, though not across the sea: the swallow indicates a journey with a pleasant ending. Show me your hand, dear.”

Claire did as requested and waited patiently as she studied the lines on her hand. To her surprise Mrs. Graham simply let go and pushed her chair back.

“Wait here, dear. I’ll be back in a wee moment.”

Claire leaned back and considered everything the older woman had mentioned. Growing up and travelling the world with her Uncle Lambert, she had heard and witnessed many things that were different, unusual - and oftentimes seemingly unexplainable - but she never could say she believed in the spiritual. Faith, even, was something she had come to question during her time in the Force but she couldn’t deny she liked the tale Mrs Graham had told. Good fortune, happiness and prosperity were all things she wished for - as did most other people, admittedly. She stood when Mrs Graham returned with a large wooden item in her arms, something house shaped with little numbered doors all over.

“An advent calendar?” Claire asked.

“Aye, t’was my grandmother’s once upon a time. And her grandmother’s before that.” Mrs Graham placed the calendar down on the table gently. “And now I want you to have it, Claire.”

“Me?”

“Why, yes.”

“Oh, Mrs. Graham. I couldn’t possibly. Surely your children should be the ones to receive a family heirloom? Didn’t you say your son and daughter-in-law were planning to start a family of their own? I’m sure they would appreciate such a beautiful item.”

And beautiful it was. While it was evident it had been crafted a long time ago, the paint remained unblemished and the detailing in perfect condition. Its colours, soft and neutral l rather than bold and tacky like so many contemporary decorations, appealed to her in particular.

“This calendar has been passed down through many a generation,’ Mrs. Graham nodded in agreement, ‘but... no’ necessarily in the family - though it does seem to keep coming back every now and again. I believe this calendar goes to those who need it rather than those who happen upon it."

“Your gift is so incredibly kind, I’m touched.” Claire meant every word but she couldn’t help but ask, “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to give something so special to someone else? Someone who loves celebrating Christmas, perhaps?”

“No, dear, I’m certain. I already knew your opinion on Christmas before giving it to you,” she reminded her. “Besides, you dinnae ken, this old thing might just change your mind.”

Claire looked down at the vintage advent calendar, the intrinsic details even more breathtaking at close range. While she could concede that it was an incredible piece and would look rather wonderful placed on the dresser in the living space at Mrs Baird’s B&B...

A vintage advent calendar changing her view on Christmas? Unlikely.

A/N: Fun Fact: Mrs Graham’s tea leaf interpretations are real interpretations from ‘Tea-cup Reading and Fortune-Telling by Tea Leaves’ by A Highland Seer (2006). // Are you as sceptical of the vintage calendar as Claire? Let me know what you think!

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 16

Chapter 16 is here. Ten more and the epilogue and the story is over. I have some lovely moments already written down as drafts and i swear there is a lot of fluff coming.

The wee holiday with Lys and Aedion is almost over. Aelin and Rowan share a powerful moment at Callanish. Then something happens and fate throws them together a bit more. And they finally go on a date.

I hope you will all love it.

Thank you to all who have liked or reblogged my fic. You are amazing.

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The next morning a sense of sadness descended on the quartet. They had a quiet breakfast, all moping because their small break was over. They checked-out of the cottage a bit later and they made their way to the ferry terminal to go back on Harris and Lewis. Once they were back on the island, Rowan, who was back at the wheel decided to drive them up via the Golden road. He hoped that the beautiful road trip would raise the spirits up a little bit. Even Aelin was a bit down. At one of the junctions Rowan slowed down a lot after a big sign alerting them of possible farm traffic. He hoped they would encounter some. He knew it would definitely cheer up the two women.

His lips curled into a smile when in the distance he spotted a big flock of sheep heading their way. He pulled over the car and relaxed. Lysandra squealed and jumped off the car as it got surrounded by the animals and Aelin joined her a moment later. The smiles where back on their faces and Rowan realised he would do anything to see Aelin with such a bright smile. “It’s like the picture you sent me.” The dark-haired woman exclaimed all excited and took out her phone to take as many pictures as possible. The two men had exited the car as well and were now leaning against the hood and enjoying the view of their happy women. “I guess for you it’s not that unusual.” Commented Aedion admiring Lysandra. “No, they can be daily occurrences for locals.” Then he stared at Aelin “but look at how happy they are.” And his voice had an edge of softness. Aedion noticed Lysandra trying to pet a sheep and laughed. He took a few photo of her. “Thank you for all this.” The man turned to Rowan “Lysandra has suffered quite a lot after Aelin left. I haven’t seen her this happy in a while.” Rowan smiled back at the man and from how he talked about Lysandra he realised he loved the woman deeply. “And I know Aelin is not coming back and on some level Lysandra knows as well but still has to process it.” “Thank you for looking after her.” replied Rowan, his gaze back on Aelin “When she arrived she was a mess. We both were to be honest. But now she is happy.” “I don’t know what magic you pulled man, but I have known Aelin for a very long time and I have never seen her this happy. Not even when she was married to officer asshole.” “She told me about him.” “I swear I had a daily need to punch the bastard. You can’t marry someone and then decide you can only love some parts of her. When you commit to someone you cannot pick and choose which part you love.” Rowan growled. “And the divorce. The bastard had been cheating on her for months. Had lied to her and told her he was working night shifts when he was screwing the detective bitch. He lied, he hurt her in a way that was unspeakable. He crushed her. I offered willingly to help her move to Lys’ place. I wanted her as far way as possible from that son of a bitch.” Rowan was shocked by the ferocity with which Aedion defended Aelin. “And before you ask, no, nothing ever happened between us. She is a very dear friend of mine. I love her like a sister.” Rowan place a hand on Aedion’s shoulder “Thank you.” Was all he said. Once the road was clear again Aelin and Lysandra went back to their men “what were you talking about?” Aelin had noticed the two deep in conversation and she was glad to see that they had become good friends in that few days away. “Aedion was telling me of his time in the RAF.” Aelin smiled and Rowan was happy she believed the little lie.

They continued the drive and they stopped at the small Harris Tweed place Aelin had discovered and Lysandra spent almost a fortune and even bought a present to Aedion as a thank you. Eventually they crossed back into Lewis and Rowan took the road to Callanish and Aelin was giddy. That was her favourite place. Once they got there they noticed there were only a few tourists. Aelin took Lysandra’s hand and guided her friend to the stones while telling her all the info she had absorbed from the book Elias had given her. They guys reached them a moment later and joined them near the stones at the circle. Rowan grabbed Aelin to him and he moved to the centre of the circle. He had imagined the moment he would be at Callanish with her a million times. He knew she loved the place and for him, being pagan and all, the site had a special meaning. Aedion grabbed Lysandra and the two decided to do some exploring on their own and Rowan for a moment was glad as he wanted to have a moment alone with Aelin. He pulled her to his chest and his arms closed around her. “ 's ann leatsa a tha mo chridhe gu brath” he whispered to her ear and Aelin wished he would speak Gaelic more often even if she could not understand him. His voice changed and it made her heart race furiously. He placed her hand on his heart “gu brath.” He said again and kissed her “On this sacred soil I claim you, mo chridhe. 's ann leatsa a tha mo chridhe gu brath.” And she squeezed him as tight as she could. She had no idea what he was saying but she could feel his love. She looked up at him “I claim you Rowan Whitethorn, on this sacred soil I declare my love to you.” She said and felt horrible. She wanted to say something poetic. Something that sounded just as beautiful as what he said, whatever it was, but that’s all she could manage. But he seemed happy, his hands went to her head and caressed it with gentleness and she felt a shift in their relationship. As if they had just taken a step much bigger than having sex a just a level below getting married. His heart raced just as much as hers.

Rowan could not let go of her. He had just told her something powerful in a magical place like Callanish. He felt as if he had just proposed to her. But she was his and he was hers. And he meant what he had said to her. His heart was hers forever. In the past few days he had realised that there was no turning back. This woman had entered his life and now he could not think to exist without her. And he thought about the Runrig song he sang to her on the beach There is no way without you. Lysandra and Aedion came back and for a moment he was annoyed. He wanted a little bit more time with her and Aelin seemed to be of the same opinion when she did not move from her position. “This place is amazing. And I can’t believe is over 5000 years old.” Rowan nodded and then Lysandra announced they were going to the visitor centre because she had to play tourist and buy a fridge magnet. Rowan kissed Aelin’s head who had not moved from her position even when her friends were here. “Are you okay?” She lifted her head and he noticed she was crying. Shit what did he do? “Hey…” with his finger he removed her tears “What’s wrong?” “Nothing,” she sobbed “You said something super amazing to me and I replied in a very lousy way and all I wanted to tell is that I love you. I want you in my life. For ever. For always. Because there is no way without you and I can’t think about another day without you at my side.” He kissed her. He lifted her until her feet left the ground and kissed in a way that would tell her that he felt the same way. “Better?” He asked when he put her down and she gave him a grin. “Come, let’s go and buy you your tacky fridge magnet.” And hand in hand they walked to the visitor centre.

Later in the afternoon they reached Butt of Lewis and their last stop in their adventure. At that beautiful place Aelin took Lysandra aside. It was time. After what happened at Callanish with Rowan she knew her decision was now final and there was no turning back for her. Which meant she had to tell her friend. They sat down at the edge of the cliff and Aelin took Lysandra’s hand. “Lys…” Aelin was now staring at the sea that over there was always angry, no matter how calm the wind. “I am not coming back to London. A part from you and Aedion, there is nothing left there for me. I can’t step back in my old life. Not after here. And…” she took a deep breath “I can’t leave Rowan. I don’t want to.” Lysandra smiled at her friend “I knew from the first moment I saw you again.” She replied squeezing the hand back “you were so happy that I knew you’d never come back. Why would you? And when I saw you with Rowan and I had the final proof.” She kissed Aelin’s cheek “I want to be invited at the wedding.” Aelin laughed “you will be the first one to know.” The two women hugged fiercely “I love you.” They said to each other. Half an hour later they were all back in Stornoway and Rowan had dropped them off at Aelin’s place. When it was time to part Aelin felt a sudden pang of sadness. She didn’t want to stay away from Rowan. “Come and say hi if you are in town,” he said to her, hugging her “I’ll miss you.” She was going to spend time with her friends, but Rowan had to go back to the shop and she was going to miss him. “Leave the other women alone, I am your only bookworm.” She felt him grin against her lips. “I’ll behave.”

Two weeks had passed and Lysandra and Aedion had to go back home and Rowan knew Aelin was going to be in a foul mood so he had prepared a task for her to keep her mind off things. He needed a revamp of the sci-fi section and he left the task to her knowing she would love it. She told him she was coming in at nine when he opened but it was past ten and there was no sign of her and he was getting worried. He also had no text or missed calls from her. It was almost eleven when she walked into the shop and he knew something bad had happened. She walked to him and sat down on her chair. “What happened?” She did not reply and instead she gave him a letter which he took and read it. “Are you kidding me?” “Nope.” She replied totally dejected “my landlord is selling the house and I have a month to move out.” She sighed “I spent the morning looking for other places but there is nothing available, unless I want to buy, which at the moment I can’t do. So, yeah I am in deep trouble. If I don’t find anything I am on the street.” “No you are not.” He said to her and turned his gaze to her “I have a spare bedroom. You can stay at my place. My house is big enough for two and for all your books.” Aelin jumped off the chair and into his arms “You are joking.” “Why would I? You need a place where to stay and I have it. Problem solved.” He was being very pragmatic but his heart was racing at the idea. “You will have me around all the time, Rowan. All the time.” “And?” Aelin huffed and lifted her hands “Just checking that you are sure of what you are getting into.” She kissed him “But I am so very grateful.” “Is my bedroom big?” She asked feeling excitement rise. “It’s normal.” He replied continuing working on what he was doing. “Will I have space for my books?” “I can squeeze them in.” “Ro?” “What?” Exasperation in his voice. “Are you ignoring me or the computer is sexier than me?” With a very slow motion he finally turned “Fireheart, some people have work to do.” “Fine. You are grumpy.” And she pinched his buttocks. Rowan turned quickly and glared at her for a second then exhaled deeply “We can move things on Sunday. Have everything prepared and boxed and on Sunday I will help you. We have two cars so it should be quite quick.” His tone flat. She threw her arms around his neck “You are wonderful.”

Ten minutes later she was back to work all happy again and Rowan had a smile on his face. They were going to live together and he could not contain his happiness at having her around all day. “By the way… the sci-fi section needs a revamp. Fancy playing a bit?” “Hell yeah, Aelin to the rescue.” By the end of the day she had redone not just the sci-fi display but also two more bookcases, explaining that they needed a bit of a spruce up as well and Rowan had let her. Her display were working and his sales had definitely increased. According to Aelin his Facebook page was being successful especially since he had started posting reviews and recommendation. “And again, ladies and gentleman, bow to the Queen.” In the distance she heard Rowan scoff. “You have any problems?” She walked to him wiggling her finger at him “No m’lady I could never tell my Queen she has a very high esteem of herself.” She grinned and walked to him and placed a kiss on his wicked mouth. “Ro?” “Yes, menace.” She snuggled and took a deep breath “There is there is a sci fi festival at An Lanntair this week and tonight they are showing Star Wars episode IV. Fancy coming with me?” Rowan was silent for a moment. “I am coming with you. But just because we are watching the original trilogy. I refuse to watch the new stuff.” Aelin laughed “Oh I’d never do that. For me only the three original episodes exist.” “You are my girl.” “Will… you know. Be okay? With Lyria?” Rowan gave her a squeeze “I will be fine.” She looked up at him with a very mischievous grin “It’s warm, I can wear a very slutty dress and show her who is the stick.” Rowan laughed “Just not too slutty. People talk around here.” “And say what? Rowan Whitethorn is dating the hot chick from London? Like I care.” He ran a hand through her hair “This chick from London is hot, though.” He grinned. “We can also have dinner together. Have a date you know.” He then added. A huge smile appeared on her face “I’d love that very much.” “So if we are going on a date, does it mean we are officially dating? Are we putting a label on it?” She leaned on the counter with her elbows and stared at him. “We can put one label if you want. We can say that we are dating.” He offered her while filing away some of the invoices he had just finished to reconcile. “But we are not boyfriends and girlfriend.” She looked at him. “I prefer a Fireheart and her Buzzard.” Aelin grabbed his face and kissed him deeply “I prefer it so much more” and brushed his hair “And if someone asks us what is means we will tell them to mind their own business and just let us enjoy our relationship how we want.” He had his eyes closed and his his face in an expression of pure bliss while Aelin kept caressing his head. Aelin even thought she heard him purr in delight. She could not keep her hands off him. She always needed to have some kind of contact with him and she was happy that he allowed it. The door opened and they broke apart quickly. She went to the customer and he continued his job at the computer while keeping an eye on he. He could not believe himself. He had just offered her to go and live with him. Last time he had done that it did not end well and a part of him was worried. They relationship was going well and all of a sudden her was terrified he had just done a stupid thing. But then he looked at her again and the rational part of his brain told him that she was not Lyria and Aelin was seriously in love with him. He sighed and hoped he was right. She came back walking with her usual swagger and with her hips pushed him away “I need to order a book.” And she started playing at the computer and Rowan was impressed how quickly she had learned all the other aspects of the job. She had been an amazing help and knowing he could keep the shop open when he was going to the school was an incredible relief. “Who gave you permission to do that?” He joked. “You did. Now let me finish before I make a mistake and then you shout at me.” He pulled her braid and left her alone with her task.

Later that evening they had finally gone home and now Aelin was trying to decide what to wear for her date with Rowan. She had texted Lysandra all excited and her friend’s reply was something that will make him regret that you are in a public place and not in his bed. The night was warm so she decided to wear her blue dress. It was very ‘50s in style with a nice flowing skirt, and sleeveless. It was one of her favourite. And it was also not slutty at all. She put some light make up on and decided to leave her hair down. it was always in a braid during the day, but she wanted to fully shock Rowan. She grabbed a jacket and left the house. They were meeting outside the restaurant. Her stomach was in knots by the excitement. She hadn’t felt like this on her first date with Chaol. When she arrived at the restaurant she spotted Rowan in the distance. It was almost impossible not to notice him. And she stopped. Damn, the man really was sex on two legs. He was wearing a pair of jeans, a white shirt under a green jumper that somehow matched his eyes. It was simple but on him it was a dream. She swallowed and walked to him.

Rowan had spotted her in an instant. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress that hugged her curves beautifully. But what caused him almost an heart attack was her hair. It was down. He had always seen her in a braid and never realised how long it was. It hung on her shoulder and it look like gold. She was the most stunning woman he had ever seen and he was positive he now had a stupid grin painted on his face. “Hey,” he said, walking to her. An arm went around her waist and he pulled her to him for a quick kiss. “You taste of strawberry.” “Lipgloss,”Aelin said and Rowan kissed her again. “Now you removed it all.” “I have no regrets and I plan on doing it again.” He smiled at her and then run his fingers through her hair. “I love this. Very, very, much.” “Shall we go in?” At the restaurant they had a great meal and Rowan told himself he should have asked her out before. But her situation was a mess before, their status confused. Now that things were finally moving in the correct direction he was planning on remedy on all those omissions and treat her out to a meal more often. Once they were done they walked to An Lanntair hand in hand and chatting away happily. At the community centre they stopped outside and Aelin noticed his indecision. “Ro, we don’t have to do it. We can go for a walk and then get ice cream. We really don’t.” He kissed her “I want to. It’s time I face it. I love this place and I am tired of avoiding because of her.” With his hand in hers they walked in and once inside they joined the queue for the tickets. Aelin had noticed a few women staring at Rowan and she had promptly glared at them marking the territory. His arm went tight around her waist and she was petty enough to turn to those women and smirk. “Two tickets please for Star Wars,”Aelin heard Rowan said and she noticed the woman at the counter. Lyria’s gaze was fixed on her. “Perhaps you want to keep an eye on the computer.” Aelin added and her arm went around Rowan’s waist in a possessive manner. And she celebrated a little victory when she noticed annoyance in the woman’s eyes. “I didn’t know you liked this kind of movie.” Lyria’s stare was now on Rowan “Do you want your usual seat at the back of the cinema? Although I doubt your friend here has the guts to have sex in a cinema.” “I have a thing called decency.” Aelin spat back now fully sick and tired by this woman. “Cash or card?” “Card,” growled Rowan. “Here are your tickets.” Then her gaze was on Aelin again “Bye stick.” Rowan turned furiously “Don’t you dare insult her again. Ever.” He grabbed Aelin’s hand and they walked to the screen. “I never had sex in a cinema.” He growled “I always get a sit at the back because I am tall and I don’t want to be in people’s way.” She stopped and turned him to her “I know. I guessed. I could not picture you like the kind of guy to have sex in a public place. Grabbing my leg and some light touching… yes. Full on sex no.” He kissed her and they went to their seats. They were finally comfy when Aelin realised she forgot the pop corn and her drink so she left him alone to go and get her provisions. She went to the kiosk and got her food and got back to Rowan. “Was dinner not enough?” Aelin shook her head “dinner was perfect but I can’t watch a movie in a cinema without pop corn.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. The movie started and Aelin’s head ended up leaning on his shoulder. Then she grabbed Rowan’s hand and placed on her thigh. He was still to start with then his thumb slowly started tracing circles on the inner part. She smiled and parted her legs gently. Their row was empty and the one in front was the same. Everyone was seated toward the front. He shifted more to her side and his hand now was completely under her dress. She concentrated on the movie while his hand was doing wonders on her. Again, he never touched skin, but still he managed to make her tremble. At the same time her hand sneaked at his side and between his legs. It was time to return the favour. “I’ll stop before the end of the movie.” She whispered in his ear when he tried to stop her hand. She palmed him quite hard and Rowan pretended to cough to hide the moan that surely was about to escape his mouth. As she promised she had stopped before the end of the movie to give him time to compose himself and he had been a gentleman. He had mostly caressed her thighs and gave a few very light brushes between her legs. He was not the kind of person to do such things in public. And she loved him even more. She had restrained herself as well and just brushed her hand up and down enough to tease him a bit. It had been fun. When they left the cinema he had a big grin on his face “Still up for that ice cream?” She nodded eagerly. They walked to the ice cream parlour and Aelin’s mouth watered at the lovely selection of flavours. “This is the best place where to get ice cream.” “Please tell me you eat ice cream.” she looked up at him. He smiled “Only fruity flavours.” “This one is on me.” She noticed the protest in his eyes but she stopped him “No, you paid for dinner and did not allow me to give you money for the movie. This is on me.” “Fine, Fireheart.” And he placed his hands on her shoulder. They got their ice cream and they started walking along the marina and then off to Lews castle grounds. They found a bench and sat down and ate their ice cream in silence, looking at the boats rolling in the water. “Did you enjoy our first date?” Rowan looked at her. “Very much,” she finished her ice cream and then Rowan laughed. “What?” But he did not reply and kissed her. “You had chocolate moustache.” And his smile was wicked. Aelin began laughing and he stared at her confused. “Nothing.” She replied at his face. “Come on,” with his fingers he began tickling her. “No, it’s embarrassing.” “More than having chocolate moustache like a five years old?” Aelin sighed “Fine, but I warned you.” She took a breath and fought the embarrassment “I… one of my fantasies involves me… hem… covering your body in chocolate and lick you clean.” Her face was buried in her hands and avoided looking at him. He grabbed her hands and pulled them away “Considering is you, I am not surprise you want to lick something sweet off me. Want to dip me in whip cream as well? I can also have a few marshmallow stuck in my mouth.” And they laughed hard. His arm went around her shoulder and he pulled her close to him and she nestled in the crook of his arm, her hand on his chest. “With Chaol there was chemistry but we never… had adventures. It was always only in bed. I couldn’t even convince him in the shower. I think that’s why I have stupid fantasies.” He squeezed her “Lyria was… well, she was the one that once suggested sex in a cinema. She was always suggesting places where it would not have been a good idea. That’s why she calls me boring.” “I don’t think I could either. I am all for trying all sorts of places in my house and all sort of positions but out of the privacy of my house I don’t think I could.” She explained “probably in a wood or a lake if I knew there was no one around for kilometres.” She looked at him “I guess we are both boring.” “Never.” His other arm went around her waist and Aelin draped one leg over his. “Did you wait with her as well?” Rowan sighed “No. I was younger and horny and she was my first girlfriend. I was eager to get some experience. Most of the guys at my age already had plenty. I didn’t. I was too busy between uni and swimming to add girl as well. Although I had a huge fan club at uni.” “That I can imagine.” She laughed. “But no, with her the first few times were a disaster. I knew the basics but I had no idea how to please a woman.” “I would say that you have honed that skill pretty nicely.” Aelin’s hand on his chest tightened. “I… had a few before Chaol. Too many probably. They were not relationships. More one night stands. I always blamed it to the stress due to med school. It was a good way to let out steam.” She confessed and hoped he would not change his mind about her “Lys and I would go to a bar and see who could score the hottest guy. And now with hindsight I regret it.” She felt Rowan kiss her head and took it as a good sign. Eventually Aelin stood and grabbed his hands “Let’s go, I need to stretch my legs.” They walked a bit longer and kept chatting and Rowan in the end walked back to what was going to be her home for only two more days. “Thank you for tonight,” she snuggled to his chest and he wrapped his arms around her “I had a great night.” He looked down to her “I had fun too.” He kissed her and she pulled back. “Oidhche mhath, mo chridhe” she said to him. He pulled in for a kiss “Good night to you as well, Fireheart.”

[songtoyou]

Chapter 12: Switch - Part One

Tolerate It

Paring: Modern!Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character

Story Rating: R (No minors should read this fic).

Word Count: 3,791

Warnings: Swearing

Story Description: Tommy Shelby is the owner and CEO of Shelby Company Limited. Starting out as a Bookmaker, Tommy had big ideas to expand his riches. In the past ten years, the company has grown rapidly to expand its business ventures from bars to producing alcohol, manufacturing motor vehicle parts, and exporting. One of the richest men in Great Britain, Tommy Shelby, has it all. Unfortunately, the death of his wife, Grace, left the multi-millionaire mogul alone and depressed. He needed someone to fulfill his needs and deepest darkest desires.

Chapter Summary: Easter has arrived. Tommy is spending it with his family, while Rose is forced to spend time with her ex. We learn that Tommy does not always want to be in control. 

A/N: This chapter will have two parts.

I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Tag list: @owenniasstars​

There was a part of Tommy that wished he did not have to be in control all of the time. It was understandable that he be the one in charge of his business as he had no other person to rely on to step up to the plate. Michael was still too young. Also, Tommy had been developing doubts and distrust towards his cousin. It didn’t help that Michael would schedule secret meetings with potential business partners and act as if he was doing it to help Tommy and the company. Tommy used to rely on and confide in his Aunt Polly. Yet, she began to distance herself more and more from the company, especially since getting remarried to Aberama Gold, a fellow business associate to Tommy. John and Arthur had their business deals to worry about, and Ada spent most of her time in the States.

He wished Grace was still alive. She was Tommy’s number one supporter. He shared almost everything with Grace (the legal side) and truly valued her advice and opinions. When Tommy was with Grace, he was able just to be himself. He was allowed to be calm and not have to overwork his mind. He didn’t have to be in control.

It was only with Grace that Tommy allowed another person to have total control over him in the bedroom. Both he and Grace shared characteristics of a dominant and submissive. They often switched roles, with Tommy as the dominant and Grace as the submissive, and vice versa. He loved it when Grace used to dominate him. No one would have suspected the sweet-natured blonde woman had an alpha personality behind closed doors, who was and controlling and overtly sexual.

With Grace gone, Tommy never allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of anyone. Lizzie tried to get Tommy to open that side of him up, but he denied her. He couldn’t do it. A part of Tommy felt as if it would be a betrayal to Grace. Both Ada and Polly constantly told Tommy that it was okay for him to move on from Grace.

“She gave you, on her deathbed, the permission to move on, Thomas. Respect your deceased wife’s wishes,” Aunt Polly would tell him. 

“Find someone to have a family with, Tommy. Charlie deserves to have a mother figure in his life and possible siblings if it were to happen. Let yourself be happy,” were Ada’s words of encouragement. 

No doubt Tommy would hear those exact words at his sister’s house this Sunday afternoon to celebrate Easter with the entire Shelby clan. Boy, it was going to be a long day. Charlie ended up spending the night at Ada’s with his cousins. Tommy was glad for that as indeed his sister would provide his son with an Easter basket. Tommy was not one for decorative or holiday pleasantries. That was all Grace. When Grace passed, Ada, Polly, or Esme would be the ones to step in and make sure Charlie celebrated his birthday with a party or invite him over for holiday festivities. Guilt would riddle Tommy at that notion that he could not provide his only child with a happy environment. Yes, Tommy loved Charlie dearly. However, Tommy could not deny that he lacked in other emotional departments. He was not one for sentiments or terms of endearment.

Another subject Tommy was not keen to have brought up was his “relationship” with Rose Turner. Unfortunately, he knew better than to expect his family members to rile him up about her and ask questions. None of them knew how Tommy met Rose. It was the same with Lizzie. While both Arthur and John were not faithful to their wives, neither were allowed to be members of Excelsior Club. He had mentioned Arthur and John to Tatiana to inquire if they could become members. Tatiana stated that they were both a liability. “Your brothers are too reckless and don’t fit the standards of our usual clientele. They are, how do I put this nicely? They are too ‘rough around the edges,’ so to speak,” Tatiana said dismissively when Tommy first started going to the Club.

It didn’t matter to Tommy either way; his brothers still managed to do fine all on their own. Besides, Arthur and John were not the faces of Shelby Company Limited; Tommy was and had an image to protect. If Tommy went down in disgrace, it would be for his business dealings, not that he kept himself in the company of whores.

However, Tommy could not help his growing feelings for Rose. There was an energy about her that was attractive to him that he could not quite understand why. Tommy was not sure if it was because Rose was able to adhere to his wicked desires. It amazed Tommy how she was keen on submitting and doing almost anything to please him. During scenes, Rose responded to Tommy as if he was the only man she needed, the only man she desired. And it felt genuine, not put on. There would be moments during aftercare where Rose would look at Tommy with such admiration and respect, that at first, it made him feel uneasy. But after a while, he came come to desire that look. That Tommy would do whatever it took to make sure Rose always looked at him in such away. Tommy found that he craved Rose’s respect, which caught him off guard. 

Tommy soon realized that he also respected Rose and how she would do anything for her son. He admired that notion about her. She willingly entered into a line of work that could be demanding, demeaning, and possibly dangerous to provide for her child was not something that Tommy took lightly or was flippant about it. He would never refer to Rose as a “hooker with a heart of gold.” No, she was much more than a trope. Tommy knew Rose did not need a knight and shining armor to save her. 

Lizzie wanted Tommy to save her. At the time, Tommy was in no position to be someone’s hero. He was too bruised, too shattered, too broken. 

Now, here Tommy was at his sister’s home celebrating Easter. He sat back and watched everyone. The laughter, the smiles, Tommy felt like he didn’t belong. Tommy felt like he couldn’t breathe, so he stepped out back to smoke a cigarette since Ada did not allow smoking in her home.

The inhale of nicotine helped soothe Tommy’s anxiety and calm his nerves. Often, he wished he was back on opium. It was his way of coping after coming home from Afghanistan. He was only able to get clean because of Grace and her support. He never touched the stuff after getting clean, but there were still cravings. The feelings that came with the high brought such bliss. The satisfaction that nothing could harm you. Those weren’t going to go away magically overnight. 

Tommy’s solitude was interrupted when his son, nephews, and nieces ran outside with their baskets to search for eggs. He looked at his watch and sighed. He was not sure how much longer he could stand this. 

As the children flittered around the yard, Tommy took out his phone. He opened the message from one of the Blinders he had assigned to watch over Rose that day. The text message Tommy received earlier unsettled him. It was a picture of Rose exiting her house with Louis and a man. The three got in a car and drove off. At first sight of the image, Tommy felt enraged. He immediately wanted to know who this man was and why he was with Rose. Tommy was livid. Fortunately, he calmed himself down when Rose sent him a text an hour later.

Rose: I know you have your guys watching over Louis and me. While I do appreciate that, it is a little much. The man I am with is Louis’s father, Nick. We are going out for an Easter brunch. Nothing for you to worry about, and Happy Easter. 

Tommy didn’t respond, but he was grateful that Rose cleared things up. He knew his reaction to the picture was ridiculous. The slight pang of jealously surprised Tommy. He didn’t quite know where it came from; it was the same feeling when Rose told him that Changretta contacted her. He was still unsure about what to do with Changretta. First, it was only business that Changretta was causing Tommy grief; now, the man was gearing up to steal his girl. Tommy realized that he must have been too lenient when dealing with the Changrettas now overstepping their boundaries. Tommy and the Peaky Blinders would have to put them in their place for good. 

Tommy would make sure that Rose was not a casualty if a war broke out. He was not going to lose her or the war.

“Mum! Come on!” Louis yelled. He was dressed and ready to go, but his mum was taking forever. “What is taking so long?”

“In a minute!” Rose shouted back. She was ready but was busy doing making an Easter basket for Louis. Rose placed the items strategically in the basket. She grabbed the basket and walked down the stairs. “Happy Easter, my little man.”

Rose handed the basket to Louis, who had a look of confusion and annoyance on his face. “What the Hell, Mum? Is this what you have been doing for the last thirty minutes?”

“Yes,” Rose said. “Don’t you like it?”

Louis sighed and placed the basket on the table. “I’m too old for an Easter basket,” he moaned but still looked through the basket to see what he got. “Holy shit! A new iPhone! AirPods!”

“Still want the basket?” Rose questioned sarcastically. “I mean, I’ll take it back if you don’t want it.”

“No, I want it. Mum, thank you,” Louis beamed with happiness and hugged Rose. 

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. You’re a good kid. I love you.”

“I love you too, Mum.”

Their tender moment was cut short when the doorbell rang. “Who the bloody Hell could that be?” Rose asked, confused.

“It is probably Dad. I told him it would be easier to pick us up,” Louis explained and went to open the door. “Dad! So good to see you.” 

Rose stood back, arms crossed, as Louis hugged his father. It was a sight that had Rose feel a pang in her chest. It reminded her that the three of them could have been a family, a typical family. That is what Louis deserved. Nick looked over at Rose and smiled at her. It was a warm and genuine smile. Rose felt like she was sixteen all over again.

“Rosie, you look…beautiful as always,” Nick complimented and went in for a hug but stopped himself. “We can hug, right?’

Rose scoffed, “Of course we can hug, weirdo.” The former lovers embraced, and Rose felt a familiarity, the feeling of being safe and uncertain. She pulled away. “Well, we better get going. Louis, where did you decide we go to eat?”

“Bella Roma. Can we stop by an Apple store after we’re done eating? I want to be able to switch over from my old iPhone to the new one. Mum, got me a new iPhone.” Louis held up his phone to his dad.

“Nice,” Nick admired. 

“We’ll see. Come, let’s get going,” Rose ordered and ushered everyone out of the house. Locking up, Rose turned around to see Louis and Nick walked towards a car. “Wow. Is this your car, Nick?”

“Don’t act so shocked. It is a used car, but yes, it is mine,” he told Rose. “It is a 2017 Hyundai Elantra. Got a pretty good price for it too.”

“Very nice,” Rose approved as she got inside, with Louis settling himself comfortably in the back seat. 

“Dad has a full-time job now. Isn’t that right, Dad,” Louis spoke up eagerly.

Nick started the car and drove away from the house. It would not be too long before they arrived at the restaurant. “Where do you work?” Rose asked, trying to hide the tone of suspicion in her voice. 

“My father took pity on me. I work at his insurance company. It took a while for him to trust me again. But Mum told Dad to give me a chance, especially when I got out of….”

“Prison,” Rose interrupted, and she noticed Nick straighten up in his seat. “That is good to hear. I’m glad your relationship with your parents is better. Better than mine, that is for sure,” she added under her breath. 

It was not long until Nick parked near Bella Roma. Once they entered the restaurant, the three were seated quickly. Rose sat on one side, while Nick and Louis sat together on the other side. Rose sat back and watched the interaction between father and son. It was sweet to watch Louis interact with his father. As Rose looked between the two, she was reminded how much they both looked so very much alike. It was eerie. Dark brown hair and brown eyes were two of the features they shared, along with a dimple on their chin. 

Soon, their waitress stopped by to get drink orders. “I’ll just have water, thank you,” said Rose. Truthfully, she would have liked a glass of wine to help take the edge off. However, Rose didn’t want anything to hinder her guard up around Nick.

They ended up ordering pizza to share and a plate of arancini as a starter. Louis was the one to dominate the conversation. He was desperately trying to get his parents to interact more. Louis kept praising his dad’s accomplishments to get his mum’s attention. “Mum, did you know dad volunteers to help underprivileged kids. It’s like, what did you refer to it as, a nice version of scared straight?”

Nick chuckled, “Something like that. I figured I could do something good and help guide kids to not make the same mistakes as me.”

Rose bit her tongue. For Louis’s sake, she would be nice. However, she wanted to bite back and ask Nick what he considers mistakes he has made throughout his life. Rose hoped he didn’t view Louis as some mistake. That would set her off. Rose picked at her pizza; she found herself not hungry all of a sudden. Nick and Louis continued to talk amongst themselves about mundane topics such as school, sports, music, etc.

At that moment, Rose’s thoughts drifted to Tommy. She wondered what he was doing, and kind of wished he was with her. That thought caught Rose off guard. She pulled out her phone and sent him a quick text. She wanted to let him know that she was out with Louis and Nick, along with wishing him a happy Easter. There were times where Rose wished she didn’t have to leave Tommy after their rendezvous in the hotel that Friday. She always felt safe with Tommy. There was a sense of security and a feeling of being protected. 

Rose found herself that the more she hung around Tommy, the more she began to trust him, and the more Rose began to like Tommy, which scared her. She was not supposed to develop feelings for him. He was a client, after all. He paid for her services. She willingly allowed him to do unspeakable sexual acts to her. Rose was willing to let Tommy do things she would never allow any other man to do to her. She wondered what made Tommy different compared to someone like Luca or Alfie. Probably because, in a weird sense, Tommy treated Rose like a human being and not some toy. Yes, she knew Tommy tended to be possessive, but he still respected Rose’s boundaries. Rose trusted Tommy not ever to cross them. 

“Rosie, are you still here?” Nick asked. He waved his hand in front of Rose’s face to get her attention.

“What?” Rose shook her head to clear her mind. “Sorry, what’s going on?”

“Dad asked you about the guy you are currently seeing,” Louis answered. He was frustrated that his dad brought up Tommy. 

“Oh yeah, what about Tommy?” 

“Just wondered how long you have been seeing this guy? How did you two meeting by the way?” Nick questioned. “I’ll be frank; I was stunned to find out that the mother of my child is dating the one and only Tommy Shelby. Isn’t he an OBE?”

Rose shrugged her shoulders at the question, “I guess he is an OBE. I don’t know; he has yet to show me his medal or whatever it is they get. You know, Tommy is just a guy I met, and we hit it off. Nothing too outrageous.”

“Is it serious?” Again, another question from Nick.

Louis sighed in annoyance, and Rose quickly picked up on her son’s discomfort on the subject of Tommy. “Let’s see if they have dessert,” Rose changed the subject and tried to wave over their waitress.

“Have you met him, Louis?” asked Nick turning towards his son.

Rolling her eyes, Rose interceded, “No, he has not met Tommy.”

“And I don’t want to,” Louis mumbled under his breath.

“Hey, here is an idea, how we don’t talk about Tommy, okay,” ordered Rose, and both guys agreed.

After sharing a tiramisu, Rose had enough and was ready to get back home. Nick offered to pay, and Rose didn’t fight him on it. She figured it was his way of showing he had his own money and could provide a meal for them. With their leftovers boxed up, Rose led the way back to Nick’s car. 

“Louis, did you still want to go to the Apple store?” Rose asked him. 

“Can we? I thought you wanted to get back home.”

“I do, but we can get the leftovers in the fridge, and I can take you,” replied Rose. Truthfully, she did not want to go. She had enough excitement for one day.

Suddenly, Nick piped in, “I can take him if you feel like staying home.”

Rose turned around to look at Louis, “Is that okay with you?”

“That’s fine,” answered Louis, happily. He was excited to get to spend some alone time with his dad.

Nick parked in front of the house. Rose and Louis and got out of the car. He handed the pizza boxes to Rose and got in the front seat. “I’ll see you late, sweetie. By Nick. Take care.”

“Bye, Rosie. Talk to you later.”

Rose waved them off and walked towards the house. She breathed a sigh of relief upon entry. She went upstairs to undress and put on a pair of comfortable sweats and sweater. All Rose wanted to do was relax. 

Looking at the clock, it was only 3:30 PM. Lunch with Nick felt like it went on longer. As Rose was about to settle herself on the couch to watch television, the doorbell rang. “Now, who the Hell is that?” 

“Fucking ‘ell, people. It’s Easter Sunday, for God’s sake.” She walked to the front door and opened it to find none other than Tommy Shelby. 

“Tommy, what are you doing here?” inquired Rose, totally not expecting it to be him. 

Clearing his throat, Tommy shuffled on his feet. He looked down, then up at Rose. “I…I needed to get out and away. It was all too much.” 

Rose was confused by what Tommy was telling her. She motioned for Tommy to come inside, and he obliged. “What do you mean it was all too much? Are you okay?”

Guiding Tommy to the couch, Rose sat down next to him. She was concerned since she had never seen Tommy like this before. It was as if he was lost.

Tommy sighed, “I was at my sister’s house. Everyone was there, my brothers, their wives and kids, Aunt Polly and her husband, his kids. Everyone had someone but me. I was alone. Charlie was there, of course, but it if feels like the bond we once had is dwindling. He doesn’t need me. I watched him play with his cousins and interact with his aunts and uncles and realized that my son is better off without me.”

Rose was shocked at Tommy’s words. She scooted closer to him and placed a supported hand on his knee. “Tommy, no. That is not true. Of course, your son needs you. You are his father. You’re his family.”

“He has other family members who can give him the love and attention he deserves. Maybe I should have listened to Grace’s parents and had Charlie live with them.”

“No. Tommy, listen to me,” Rose began and made Tommy look at her. “Charlie is your son. You love him. You told me that you love him. He is a part of you and Grace. If you give Charlie up, you will regret it. Then you truly will lose him.”

“It would be better for him….”

“No, it would not. It would only scar that child for the rest of his life. He will feel that you abandoned him,” Rose stated firmly. “You’re not thinking clearly. It’s a holiday. We all get weird when we are forced to hang around family members. Just stay here for a while and relax.”

Rose found that her hand moved from Tommy’s knee to his hand sitting back on the couch. He was holding on tight as if he was afraid Rose would disappear. She used her other hand to cover his. Rose wanted Tommy to know that she was not going anywhere. Taking in Tommy’s appearance, he was dressed in blue jeans, a black sweater, and black boots. It was the most casual look Rose had ever seen Tommy. She was always used to seeing him in suits. It was a nice change. However, the look on his face was one of sadness and defeat. 

“Tell me what you need, Tommy?” Rose asked. She pulled Tommy closer to her and wrapped an arm around him. “Tell me how I can make it better,” she crooned in his ear and ran her fingers through his hair. 

What did Tommy want? He was unsure. A part of Tommy didn’t want to feel always in control. That he could let go and be in the moment. That’s what he wanted; he wanted to be in the moment with Rose. Just the two of them, sitting together. “I just want to sit here, with you, Rose. That’s all I want right now. I don’t want to think about anything.”

Kissing the top of Tommy’s head, Rose leaned her head on his. “Okay, we can do that, Tommy. I’m here. Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”