#and I am also not witty in that way… but I AM allergic to emotion…and gay.. so I’ll make it work

[oldmanffucker]

writing House fanfic is writing what you want them to say, then going back and editing it to say those things in the most convoluted, sarcastic, and metaphorical way possible, and then not resolving that actual meaning for 1-48 hours in-universe depending on how meaningful said thing is

[sunshinestayy]

Dear Stray Kids

On the extremely off chance that Chris and Lix are lurking on tumblr and find this post, this is what I'd say to the SKZ members if I had the chance.

(Before you come for me, I wrote most of this two years ago when I was a Baby STAY, and I tried editing it now, so it'd be less cringy. I still apologize if this is painful to read. I tried my best LMAO).

Bang Chan

Leader – BANG CHAN! Kangaroo – BANG CHAN!

To say that you are such an amazing man would be an understatement. You are an incredibly hard worker, and I wish that you went easier on yourself and got more rest. I know you strive for perfection in your craft, but rest. It’s okay.

I am so proud of you; STAY is so proud of you, and Stray Kids is (are?) so proud of you. I know you want to do more, and you feel like you have to do more, but everything you are already doing is perfect. Nevertheless, thank you for always giving us your best.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being dependable, kind, helpful, empathetic and one of the sweetest humans to ever walk the face of this planet. Thank you for all the hard work you put into what you do. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be in your shoes, but you are doing a fabulous job. You are the best leader SKZ could ever ask for, and a phenomenal person that STAY looks up to. The world needs more people like you. You are funny, SUPER talented, adorable, charming, empathetic, inspiring, intelligent, kind, incredibly handsome…ugh, there are not enough words in any language – let alone English – to describe how wonderful you are. I cannot and will never understand the hate that you get. To have people attack you for no apparent reason and hear such harsh things about yourself must be so difficult. I can’t imagine how you feel. I admire you SO much, and you are so strong, Channie. I’m so sorry that we can’t protect you from that, but STAY will try harder to defend you. You truly do not deserve that. No one does.

(I'm also sorry for the crazy shit that we do because, admittedly, sometimes we don't know our place. Thank you for tolerating us regardless lmao, and thank you for reinforcing your boundaries and putting us in place when we need it.)

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything. Thank you for being a source of comfort and security. You mean more to me than I could ever express. I know that STAY and Stray Kids feel the same.

You have such a special place in my heart. I love you, Chris.

**insert BIG hug here**

Lee Know

I’d be lying if I said that you didn’t intimidate me at first. I wouldn’t describe you as cold or mean, though. I’d say that you’re just blunt, and that your sense of humour isn’t really understood by everyone. I understand it, though – my sense of humour is a little like yours – and I really appreciate and take comfort in it. (You are absolutely hilarious!). Teasing is a valid love language😊.

You aren’t one to display your emotions for all to see, but it doesn’t mean that you are heartless. To you love is a verb, and your humanity shines through without you realising it, and I think that is truly beautiful. You are so strong, kind, gorgeous, hilarious, caring, smart, witty, and sharp.

Also, your cats so adorable, and the way you love them and interact with them (and the SKZ members) warms my heart! It’s a shame that I’m allergic to cat fur, but I can still adore them from afar.

You are ICONIC, Minho (and yes, your name is incredibly handsome). You are a phenomenal dancer, a stellar rapper, and a great singer! While Chan is the official leader of the group, you too lead the members in a beautiful way. You support Chan, and you also do a phenomenal job at taking care of the younger members. You are doing your best, and that is more than enough. That is spectacular. You are 100% unapologetically yourself, and you are also insightful, wise, and caring. Language barriers aside, I find great comfort in you, and you help me become more open-minded each day. When I become fluent in Korean – and when I get the chance to meet and/or interact with you – I will make sure to tell you how much I care for and appreciate you. If my Korean still sucks by then, I'll do it in Korenglish and hope for the best lmao.

I love you so much – more than you know…I know… LEE KNOW!

Changbin

YOUR VOICE!!! CAN WE JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE WHENEVER YOU RAP?!

**screams and aggressively slams keyboard but tries to not break laptop**

(Also, YOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Oh, Changbin (Seo Changbin – don’t worry, I know you aren’t Oh Changbin **wink**) …where do I begin? Honestly, I love you. Period. You are so talented – that is an understatement – you literally give me LIFE! The way you interact with the members and react whenever they poke fun at you is hilarious. You always make me laugh. You are ICONIC!

Your stage presence is unparalleled, your skill is undeniable, your aegyo is AMAZING, your arms – I’m sorry, I need to take weightlifting lessons from you because HELLO?! (Please be my personal trainer, and please put me in a headlock. Thanks.)

Back to the point – you are literally such a wonderful person. You are also so kind, gentle and lovely. I wish I could cuddle you – dark image and all. You seem like such a wonderful person to just hang out with and talk to. I get such a warm vibe from you. You are incredibly sweet and loving. You are my comfort person, and I appreciate how you advocate not only for general health and fitness but also for loving oneself as is. You are genuine and unapologetically yourself. You are loved. You are amazing. You are talented. You are handsome. You are wonderful.

Our beloved dwaekki; life without Seo Changbin would totally suck.

Hyunjin

My first bias<3. You have a special place in my heart. Where do I even start?

The words beautiful, stunning, and gorgeous are not strong enough to describe you. This isn’t just about your visuals – you are a work of art, Hwang Hyunjin – your soul is also a wonderous sight for sore eyes.

You have such an amazing heart and a kind soul – you are so wonderful, warm, artistic, hilarious, and lovely. You’re also so TALL -_-

Like damn, compared to me you’re just…yeah, you’re tall! I love that, though. I love you.

Everything you’ve ever done has been nothing less than spectacular. Everything – including (but not limited to) your art, your dancing, your rapping, your hair (long, medium, or short) …need I go on?

I especially appreciate and admire how hard you work – not only for SKZ and STAY, but also for yourself. You’re constantly working on yourself, and I respect that so much. I love how passionate you are – it’s so evident in the way you move and express yourself artistically. It’s amazing to see. Just remember to be kind to yourself and – like I said to Chan – rest.

Hyunjin’s Counselling Centre has been a great help to me. Your words of comfort and encouragement have helped me get through the darkest of times. You have helped me even without knowing me or talking to me directly. You have the kindest and most beautiful, genuine, and amazing heart and soul. I’m sorry that people have tried to make you out to be what you are not. Please know that you are not what the haters are trying to put on you or turn you into. Please don’t interpret your sensitivity as weakness or fragility. I admire how you love and trust easily. While it can be a detriment when you are wronged, it is one of the best things about you.

Keep doing you, Hyun-e. We love you so much. No one can take that away from you!

Han

Jisung, you – like Hyunjin and Bang Chan…actually, all the members – have a special place in my heart. I have so much to say about you, but I have no idea where to begin.

You are so ethereal, so precious, so hilarious – the funniest member IMO but legit EVERYONE in SKZ makes me laugh and smile so much – so adorable (our beloved squirrel/quokka/hamster) …YOU ARE EVERYTHING!!!

Can we just take a moment to talk about your talent? There’s versatility, and then there’s you. Honey – haha, Hannie 😉 – you INVENTED versatility. Is there anything you can’t do?! (I’ll answer that right away – NO! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. PERIOD!).

Your rapping…like, wrap me in 3 burritos and call it a day. I LOVE IT SO MUCH! Your singing…umm, HELLO?!?!?! Did someone say FLAWLESS?! THAT’S YOU! Your dancing almost rivals Lee Know’s, but don’t tell him that because tissue will end up in someone’s mouth – and it won’t be Hyunjin’s. Open any dictionary and look for the word ace. You’ll be staring at your reflection because that is what you are!

As if your beauty, charisma, and talent didn’t give me enough reasons to explode, your personality comes in and KA-BOOM. I am deceased.

You are the life of the party, but you are also the comforting home to go to after the party…I hope that came out the way I intended it to. Point is, you are (or rather you seem, because I don’t personally know you) fun to be around and mess around with, but you are also someone to share the quiet, intimate, peaceful moments with.

Peace is something I wish I could give you in abundance – in addition to all the love and happiness in the world because you deserve it, duh. You have no idea how much it hurts to see you or any of the members experience anything related to exhaustion, pain, discomfort, heartbreak, or suffering. I know that the bad things in life help us grow stronger, and suffering makes the good times much more enjoyable and whatnot, but still…no one wants to watch their loved ones endure that.

I can only hope that my love and support – along with that of STAY and your amazing members – will remind you to keep on going.

You are enough, Hannie. You are so strong, so amazing. You are doing so well, and we are so f***ing proud of you. We love you. I love you so much.

Felix

Ah, Lixie!! Our sunshine! The member with duality powerful enough to cause and stop traffic.

(OKAY, YOUR VOICE?!?!?!  Pack it up, Corpse Husband! Also, you are more than your voice. Your talent is immeasurable, from your vocals and dancing to your bakery, ASMR, and gaming skills.)

You are sunshine personified. There is no way that someone can look at you and not smile; that is physically and scientifically impossible. You are our happiness – our reason to smile and be at peace. You are a healer. I get such positive energy from you. Whether you’re baking brownies and cookies, making ASMR videos, giving meme-able dance tutorials – BRING POPS IN SEOUL PRESENTER LIX BACK! – or goofing off and repping Gen Z with your dance moves (don’t be shy, drop your TikTok, bestie!), you are such a marvellous sight to see.

You are my happy place and I hope that you continue to grow in happiness, peace, and love. You are extraordinarily unique and one-of-a-kind, and that is a wonderful thing. You are one of the kindest and most genuine people I have ever seen. Some people can be nice in a fake way, and you are not like that. You are pure love and kindness personified. You are a marvellous creation, a shining light in this dark world. Never lose that spark. Always keep your head up and that (beautiful) smile wide.

Keep it up, Felix. I love you. (I love your freckles as well, and your vibe is immaculate. Period.) You are a wonderful human being, and you don’t need to do or be anything different. Please stay as you are (but also continue evolving as you see fit).

Seungmin

Your voice…I can’t even put into words how much comfort it gives me. My mind is a constant raging storm, and your voice always calms me. It’s the warm hug on a cold day; the cool breeze on a scorching afternoon.

**Insert 5000 more words detailing how much I love your (singing and speaking) voice**

Seungmin, you are such a beautiful person. Quiet, calm, comforting… and sometimes chaotic (but in the best way possible). Honestly, your existence brings me peace. Your humour is underrated, quick and unexpected. You are hilarious. You constantly surprise me and keep me on my toes (in a good way, of course.) You are also MEGA talented – duh – let’s not sleep on your skills! You have a gift, you really do, and I acknowledge and respect that so much. I admire you so much!

You are so handsome. I’m not just saying that because you got your braces removed and are bias wrecking everyone left, right and centre. You have been an ethereal prince since day 1 (or shall I say DAY6? I’m sorry. That was bad).

You have nothing to worry or feel bad about. (That came out of nowhere, but I just felt like saying that). You are making waves, no matter how small they may seem. They are still impactful. You are doing spectacularly, and you will only get better and better. You will be the greatest, I know you will. I see you. I appreciate you. You are absolutely wonderful, and I love you.

I.N

I confidently saying this knowing that I am a month and a few weeks younger than you:

YANG JEONGIN, YOU ARE SO ADORABLE!!!!!!

You are legit the superior maknae, and you are so powerful and strong. I don’t ever want you to think or speak badly about yourself – you are amazing, Jeongin. Never doubt that for a second.

You are also much more than SKZ’s maknae and aggibang. You are a star in your own right, and you are incredibly handsome, talented, charming, and hilarious. Your smile lights up my world, and it is more infectious than any epidemic/pandemic (in the best way possible. I meant that as a compliment, I promise). By simply smiling, you have the power to turn my day from terrible to great in a millisecond.

Your voice is so calming. I love the sound of your voice; it’s like a vocal hug that wards off all the negativity that surrounds me.

You have the purest soul I’ve ever seen, and you are genuine and authentically yourself. I hope you never lose that – never lose your youthful spirit and your zestful energy. It is refreshing, and it is one of the many things that make you a wonderful individual.

What else can I say without sounding redundant?

Watching you grow and become more confident in yourself and your craft is amazing. You have always been wonderful, but you have improved so much, and you’ve made such incredible progress. I hope you are proud of yourself. I am so proud of you!

I love watching you perform – you clearly love what you do, and you are so happy while you are singing, dancing, and/or rapping. That makes me so happy, and it makes me adore you even more. I hope you never lose your joy for what you love.

You are a wonderful human, Jeongin, and you are definitely a key member of SKZ. You are not in this group by accident; you are where you are meant to be, and you will continue to shine.

I love you.

To all the members

If I were to use one of your songs to reference my affection for you, I would choose I am YOU. That song – along with pretty much the rest of your discography – has gotten me through the darkest of days where I thought some of the most awful thoughts you could imagine. When I felt weak and like I couldn’t go on, I found you and you all became my strength.

In you and your music, I found healing. I found a reason to be happy – to continue fighting and surviving in this cruel world. I can’t tell you how alone I’ve been – how alone I’ve felt – all my life, so it’s wonderful for me to get lost in your music and sing and dance as if I’ve never shed a tear or had my heart broken. Each song is like entering a world where pain doesn’t exist; where negativity, self-hatred and loneliness are nowhere to be found. In your music and as a STAY, I feel like I belong – like I am not a weirdo, an outcast or a person who doesn’t deserve anything remotely good in life.

You make me feel like I could conquer the world and that I deserve it. For that, I thank you. For putting a smile on my face every day – even on the days where I don’t want to do anything except cry myself to sleep – I thank you SO MUCH. I am eternally grateful to you.

This statement is considered a cliché – especially because of how many times you’ve probably heard it – but really, you saved me. You injected new life into me when I thought that there wasn’t any left.

I see a part of myself in all eight of you. Bang Chan reminds me of my own willingness to love, care for/about and support my nearest and dearest.

I relate to Minho, his sense of humour, and his outlook on life. Teasing and wordlessly helping/providing for/taking care of others is also my love language.

As a fellow fire sign, I definitely see quite a bit of myself in Changbin. He reflects my playfulness, sensibility, and ability to relate to younger people even though I am (well, I consider myself) quite mature. I’m just as dramatic as Hyunjin (just jokes) and in him I see my creativity, passion, empathy, and artisticness (is that even a word?).

Han is just as hilarious as I am (if not, more), but I can relate to him in the sense that people don’t really see my vulnerable moments. I can be loud and goofy when I’m with my friends and other people I am comfortable around, but I become introverted and reclusive when I am by myself or around people with whom I feel uncomfortable. I am also a massive homebody😊.

Lix is full of energy, life, and light, and I can relate to that sometimes (especially when I’m around the right people). Like Felix, I would also like to heal others, make them feel better, and comfort them with my presence and my actions.

I wish I could sing as well as Seungmin, but I suppose I have something else in common with him – I have brown eyes (I just realised that all of you have brown eyes, and that joke was more cringy than it was funny. **Face palm**. Anyway…). In all seriousness, I’d say that Seungmin reflects my ability to shine through and use my voice, even if it is not heard or appreciated by everyone. I also love puppies and dogs, and I am quick-witted.

Just like Jeongin, I am the youngest in my family (I know that he’s the middle child in his biological family, but he’s the youngest in his SKZ family, so there! Loophole!). Like Jeongin, while I appear as cute and wholesome (sometimes), I have an intelligence and maturity that is often underestimated and overlooked. I still try my best to live past the label that has been put on me. I feel that people will forever see me as a baby no matter what I do, so we are in the same boat, I.N. I know that I am making little improvements day by day. At least, I hope so.

Stray Kids members, I have so much love for all of you – I don’t even know how to express it, even after typing out this long letter.

For now, I hope that me thanking you and reminding you how much I appreciate and care for you will suffice. I am so proud of you, and I am in awe of how much you all shine. You are such amazing humans – I say humans here to emphasize that I recognise your humanity, and I am not putting you on a pedestal. I do not expect you to be cookie-cutter, perfect people. You will trip, make mistakes, and experience hardships; that is just how life works.

I believe in you, though. I know how strong you all are. You all have gone through things that I could never fully comprehend or fathom, but you are still standing. I admire you so much for that.

With love,

sunshinestayy

(P.S Please consider visiting and performing in South Africa someday. I’d love to see you all in person, and I know many other South African STAYs who feel the same way! <3 JYPE, PLEEEEAAASSSEEEE!!!!!)

[nonalectos]

Jury Duty

Fandom: The Nanny

Genre: Romance/Humor/Comfort

Pairing: Fran Fine/C.C. Babcock

Rating: M

Summary: C.C. has been called to jury duty, and Fran decides to come along, placing C.C. in a very uncomfortable position considering the feelings she has been harboring for the nanny the last four years. To make matters worse, there's only one room left in the hotel.

Word Count:  2,826

Author’s Note: My first fic in six years, folks! I am currently neck deep in The Nanny hyper fixation, Fran x C.C. in particular, and I was inspired by my lovely friends and fellow shippers to write my first fic in years and very first fic for this pairing! Boy, have I come a long way since my Fran/Maxwell fanfic on Quizilla.com when I was 14-years-old. Interwoven with canon from S04E17: Samson, He Denied Her. Please enjoy!

This fic can also be found here on AO3.

“What’s that?”

“That’s...the nanny.”

_______

C.C. rolled onto her stomach, burying her face into her pillow, and groaned, the coolness of her satin pillowcase warming to match her body temperature a bit too quickly for her liking. As she shifted, contemplating whether to get up or relegate herself to a day in bed, ignoring all responsibility and...other stressors, an orange-brown fluff next to her feet growled.

Damn dog.

In order to prevent the mongrel from biting at her ankles, C.C. slowly pulled her legs up towards her chest before gently removing the covers, pushing herself up into a seated position, and scooting to let her legs hang off the side of the bed. She sighed and looked at her alarm clock.

5:30 AM

She had one of those dreams again. She was rarely the type to dream, but somehow her subconscious had been invaded by the intrusive thoughts she routinely pushed away during her waking hours. Sparkling red, a hand on her waist, her own hand tangled in a large nest of brown hair, and the recalled scent of scratch-and-sniff magazine perfume flashed through her mind before she could prevent it. She groaned again--loudly--and a retort, almost indistinguishable from her own guttural sound, emitted from the ball of fluff.

C.C. let out one more sigh before standing with renewed intention to have a good, productive day. She would bury her nose--and her mind--in her work. No one could get in the way of her and her job. She was the C.C. Babcock. She made her way to the kitchen and started her coffee maker. While she waited, she opened an envelope that she had left sitting on the table and froze, defeated.

_______

C.C. barged into Maxwell Sheffield’s office, ignoring the skip in her chest when she caught the image of brown, black, red, and white in her peripheral, accompanied by that--against all odds--alluring scent.

“Maxwell, you are not gonna believe this. I have been summoned for jury duty! Well, that is the last time I vote.”

The blur came closer. “Ms. Babcock, maybe I’ll go be on that jury with you.”

C.C. covered her panic with a chuckle. “Nanny Fine, you can’t just go.” This was it. The perfect moment for a witty jab. That would help. “It’s not like Supercuts.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve got a drawer full of those things. Besides, there’s nothing keeping me here.” Fran glared at Maxwell, and C.C. silently stepped out of the office as she heard the man’s voice raise, only making out an exasperated, “Ms. Fine!”

_______

“Oh I’ve just gotta get on this jury!”

As Fran blabbed on, C.C. tried not to focus on how close together they were sitting and how she could still feel the heat from the nanny’s hand on her knee, even after she had removed it. As Fran handed her a book, C.C. was given another chance at a jab. She gasped theatrically.

“You know him?”

“No. You read?”

Fran snatched the book out of C.C.’s hand, and C.C. laughed, the awareness of her leaning closer to Fran escaping her.

_______

“What do you mean there’s just one room left?” C.C. growled at the hotel receptionist.

The receptionist looked at the tall, blond woman towering above them nervously. “I-uh I’m sorry, ma’am, there are no other rooms available. Just the one.”

“But we have two people--” Fran gently placed her hand on C.C.’s shoulder and stepped in between her and the distressed receptionist.

“Are there two beds?” she asked, smiling.

“Y-yes,” the receptionist said hesitantly and then, more assured after calming down, “Yes, there are two beds.”

“See Babs? No harm, no foul,” Fran said brightly, squeezing C.C.’s shoulder as she reached over the counter to take the room key. As they walked towards their room, Fran went on and on about the plot of the romance novel she had shoved in C.C.’s hands earlier. C.C. focused on her breathing, trying to remain calm. She could feel the heat creep up her neck the moment the kid at the desk said they only had one room available, and now she didn’t even have to look to know she had red blotches all over her chest and cheeks. She couldn’t distinguish between her anger and...fear? No. C.C. Babcock was never scared.

“So then when he pulls her in--” holding the book close to her chest, Fran twirled around to face C.C. as she continued walking down the hallway backwards. “Ms. Babcock? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” C.C. responded curtly.

“You’re not having an allergic reaction, are you?” Fran rushed up to her and lifted her hand to examine C.C.’s face as she spoke. “You gotta be careful with shellfish! You know, my cousin, Ernie, never had an allergic reaction in his life. One day, 40 years old, he ate one fried shrimp and BAM --”

C.C. slapped Fran’s hand away, “I’m fine.” Her heart was racing.

“Okay, okay, sorry Mrs. Hyde.” Fran threw her hands in the air, and C.C. could have sworn she gave a tiny pout as she turned around and continued towards their room. When she opened the door, she paused, pulled it back to her, and turned. “You know, Ms. Babcock, we should celebrate! How about a drink? A whiskey. Bourbon. On me.” She winked then stood up straight with a stern look on her face, “ Well. Not top shelf.”

“Nanny Fine,” C.C. uttered through gritted teeth, “I just want to--” she pushed past Fran and opened the door “--lie down.” She stopped in the doorway, still as if she had come face-to-face with Medusa herself.

One bed stood in the room.

_______

The first night was somewhat tolerable. Fran was very kind to C.C., ensuring she was comfortable and that she did not take up too much of her space. C.C. reciprocated by keeping her distance as well. Falling asleep was another story. C.C. was the first to lie down. Being on the side of the bed facing the bathroom, she saw the nanny walk out, wearing one of her bathrobes. God, I hope she has something under that. She could hear the shuffling of the fabric as Fran let the robe fall to the floor and felt the weight in the bed shift as the other woman settled in. Before she could make sense of what was happening, she felt two swift pats on her hip. “Goodnight, Ms. Babcock!”

“Hm,” was the only confirmation she could utter.

C.C. was hyper aware of Fran’s presence. She measured the woman’s breathing and could tell by the slower, deeper breaths when she fell asleep. It took her a while to close her eyes. Every time she did, she saw Fran’s hand on her knee…

Her shoulder…

Her hip…

C.C. jolted awake from a half-sleep. She sighed and stared at the wall in the dark. The blackout curtains weren’t closed all the way, and she could see a sliver of light flash on the wall every once in a while. She could hear sirens, car horns, distant yelling, and sometimes a drunken laugh. She didn’t know what time it was, but it felt like she had been drifting in and out of almost-sleep for hours, still aware of the body radiating heat and energy next to her. What is it about Fran Fine? was the last thought that crossed her mind before she drifted into a very, very light sleep.

_______

C.C.’s eyes traveled down Fran’s figure as she stood up when Vincenzo approached the stand, her expression a mixture of endearment and bewilderment. Why her?, a question echoing the sentiment from the night before repeating in her mind. The rest of the day in the courtroom was filled with typical annoyances, with the exception of a moment of outburst from Fran that left C.C. with the sting of an emotion she couldn’t quite place in the moment as she softly pulled Fran’s arm down.

_______

The next day, C.C. pinpointed the emotion as Fran spoke. “See, that is what happens when a man tells you that he loves you and then he takes it back.”

Jealousy.

C.C.’s face was still until she realized her arms were full of snacks that Fran had been piling onto her.

“What are you looking for?”

“My Dexatrim,” Fran responded.

C.C. rolled her eyes and stuffed the food back into Fran’s bag, the thought popping into her mind again. Why her?

_______

She was exhausted. Eight days, hardly any sleep, and “a horse is a horse, of course, of course” stuck in her head practically 24/7, C.C. wanted to explode when she read the words on the slip of paper, “And one ‘not guilty’…,” followed by Fran convincing another juror to vote “not guilty.” Every time she thought she was going to escape her personal hell, she was dragged back down. She was Sisyphus, and Nanny Fine was her boulder.

C.C. stood. “Could it be that you’re just a little sensitive to this shrew maid because you have some fantasy of ending up with your employer yourself?”

Sting.

“Let she who is without fantasy cast the first stone!”

Ohh, if only you knew, Nanny Fine!

The rest of the afternoon was full of more sting as Fran not-so-subtly talked about Maxwell and the children, but at least they were finally done. C.C. could go home and try to put this all behind her.

As they walked out of the courtroom, Fran hooked her arm through C.C.’s and cheerfully said, “I have a proposal.”

“And what would that be, Ms. Fine?”

“I propose we take one more night off. You know, eat, drink, relax, before heading back to work.”

“Nanny Fine, I really--”

“Pleeease Ms. Babcock?” Fran pleaded, stopping and tugging on her arm. C.C. looked into Fran’s eyes: earnest, gentle, kind.

That’s why her. “Well, alright.”

“You know, I really feel like this has been a good bonding experience for us.”

C.C. rolled her eyes...and couldn’t help but smile.

_______ 

 She wasn’t drunk, but she did feel a little tipsy. A little more relaxed. She and Fran were making their way back to their room after a pleasant evening of food and a couple drinks each. The nanny really was good company, when C.C. let herself enjoy it. C.C. settled into what she had established as her side of the bed for the previous eight nights, lying on her back and staring at the ceiling. Her blond hair pooled on the feather pillow under her head. She could hear the sink faucet turn on. A couple of splashes. Off. The towel being pulled off the rack. C.C. tore her eyes from the ceiling to the bathroom door. Fran walked out and, as she walked around to her side of the bed, began to untie her robe. C.C. didn’t take her eyes off of her. Fran wasn’t wearing anything particularly risqué--why would she be--but the loose fitting, thin material that made up her pajamas hung on her perfectly. C.C. could feel her neck and cheeks getting warm again--a nightly routine for her body at this point--and she turned over to hide. Her head was reeling with the influx of emotions she had felt over the last week, a mental Rolodex: anxious, longing, annoyed, jealous, hopeful...hurt.

“Nanny Fine?” She wasn’t sure if Fran had fallen asleep.

“Yeah, Babs?”

Her heart skipped.

“Why…” she turned over to face the nanny. “Why do you put up with it?”

Fran had been facing the other way. She turned over. The bedside table lamp hadn’t been turned off yet. C.C. was able to look into the other woman’s eyes again.

“Put up with what?”

“Maxwell. He...well, obviously he isn’t willing to give you what you want. Why hold out hope?”

“Why do you?” Fran retorted with a hint of defensiveness.

C.C. was silent for a moment. “I think I’ve confused myself.” Oh god, how much did I have to drink? “I don’t think what I really desire is what...I thought I desired.” I don’t feel drunk.

Fran maintained eye contact. Silent. Almost as if she knew. C.C. cast her gaze down. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Why do you act so hard?” the woman said. The words were accusatory but the tone was soft and empathetic. Despite her attempts to keep them at bay, C.C. could feel the sting of tears and a lump in her throat. “Oh, Ms. Babcock,” Fran whispered, slowly rubbing the blond’s shoulder with her thumb. “You really are a wonderful, caring woman. You just won’t let others see it. Like you’re protecting yourself from something.” Earnest, gentle...kind.

That’s why her.

“You hurt others before they can hurt you.”

C.C. looked back into Fran’s eyes. Up to this point, she thought her jabs had all been in jest. “Have I hurt you?”

Fran laughed. “Oh, honey. It takes more than what you can throw to hurt me.” C.C. sniffled. “But listen. I was holding out hope for Mr. Sheffield because the other person I noticed--the strong, loyal, brilliant woman who crossed my path every day--didn’t treat me the way I deserve to be treated.” Before C.C. could interject, Fran continued. “Now, that’s not to say he’s a saint. Faaaar from it, missy. But you, Babs. I see a lot of potential in you, but you gotta soften up that thing you got in that chest of yours.”

“I...don’t--half the time, I don’t even know what I’m feeling,” the words started escaping from her lips, betraying every cell in her body, every natural inclination she had. At least what she thought up to this point was natural for her. “When I first saw you, four years ago, in that sparkling red dress...the way you moved, the way you talked, your confidence, god I felt so...so intensely jealous. But...four years later, and I can’t get that image of you out of my head. Just you. Not Maxwell.”

Fran lifted her hand to wipe a tear from C.C.’s face then back to her shoulder. She felt the woman’s hand travel from her shoulder down her arm…

Her waist…

Her hip…

Then she tugged.

C.C. placed her hand on the brunette’s waist as she was pulled in, the many inches between them closed. She gasped, and her breathing became uneven. She could feel the flush in her cheeks as she glanced down at Fran’s lips, which she now noticed were coming closer...and closer. She had kissed people before. Plenty of times. But Fran’s lips felt like home. They were soft and warm, moving in tandem with her own. The perfect fit. C.C. moved her hand up Fran’s side, taking note of every inch of her curvature, until she was able to tangle her hand in that nest of beautiful, brown hair. Every breath she took in between kisses was filled with that wonderfully intoxicating scratch-and-sniff perfume scent, and in the moments a soft, nasally moan escaped from the nanny’s lips, C.C.’s hips pushed forward and she moaned in return. Fran coaxed C.C. onto her back with a gentle but firm push and straddled her, not letting their lips part for more than a second. C.C. put both hands on each of Fran’s hips as Fran began to leave a trail of kisses down C.C.’s neck…

Her collarbone…

Her chest…

This is better than being drunk...

_______

C.C. finally got the rest she needed. She woke up from a deep sleep and could feel the tangling of sheets around her body. As she began to shift, she felt a heavy weight on her legs and her waist. A quiet, gravely moan emitted next to her ear. As C.C. rolled over, Fran shifted but didn’t move her leg or her arm. Instead, she tightened her grip and pulled the woman closer. C.C. caressed Fran’s face as her eyes fluttered open.

“Mornin’, Babs baby.”

“Morning, Fran,” C.C. said with a smile and placed a sweet kiss on the nanny’s lips.

_______

Hand-in-hand, C.C. and Fran walked up to the desk in the hotel lobby to check out. The receptionist from their first night was working that morning. Fran smiled and slid the key across the counter, while C.C. took out her credit card to pay for all the unexpected nights.

“Good morning, ladies! Hope you enjoyed your stay. Did the pull out couch work out alright?” the receptionist asked.

Fran and C.C. exchanged glances and both blurted, “The what?”

[sneezedarling]

One of a Kind- MacCready/m!Sole Sneezefic (Fallout 4)

Hey guys! Sorry it took so long but I’ve written it. If anyone has any Fallout 4 or other video game requests send ‘em in! Anyways I hope you guys enjoy some allergic!MacCready.

MacCready usually agreed with the judgement calls Sole made, they were mostly sound, logical and fair in his eyes. But sometimes Sole was too curious for his own good. They had been walking through Diamond City Market, trading their loot from their travels for supplies and ammo when a guard had commented on The Museum of Witchcraft and how strange it was.

MacCready had immediately groaned as he watched Sole’s emerald green eyes light up at the prospect. Sole had shoved last of his ammo into his bag and stopped the guard to ask a barrage of questions and mark the location on his map. As they left Diamond City, Sole was still studying his PipBoy intently to work out the fastest route there.

“We’re not seriously heading there, right?” MacCready groaned.

Sole glanced up at him, “Why not? Maybe we’ll find something cool.”

“Or we’ll walk for days and find a creepy, crumbling building,” MacCready counters

He finishes examining his PipBoy and smirks, “C’mon, Mac, where’s your sense of adventure?”

“Adventure doesn’t bring in caps.”

“Hey, I’m paying you what are you complaining about?” Sole objects, with no real fire.

It had taken a few months, but they’ve finally gotten to the point where MacCready says more than just standard agreeance in conversation and Sole’s sarcasm and witty commentary has become a light-hearted distraction rather than a point of annoyance.

MacCready just sighs and begins walking in the direction of the museum because sole leads, and he follows, that’s the deal.

--------------------------------

It’s dusk when they approach the Museum of Witchcraft. It’s a large gothic building, looming and creepy by itself, but especially so in the fading light. MacCready glances at Sole who looks like a kid on Christmas and has to fight the smile working its way onto his face.

“C’mon, this is kinda cool,” he insists.

MacCready rolls his eyes, “Yeah, a big, creepy building, very inviting.”

Sole just grins and heads toward the back of the Museum, “stay outside if you want, I’m going to have a look.”

MacCready jogs to catch up with him only to stop short when he sees Sole’s boyish smile fade and become replaced by a hard frown as he reaches for the gun at his waist. The ground before him them is littered with the bodies of dead Gunners. As they loot the bodies, they shift into a familiar silence. Although Sole was all smiles and jokes usually, he was always dead silent when it got serious. It had taken some getting used to.

----------------------------------------

After listening to a horrifying holotape, they head inside. There’s a low rumbling that MacCready can’t identify, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. The low visibility due to the darkness and copious amount of dust filtering through the air puts him on edge and he’s following Sole a lot more closely than usual. Suddenly, there’s an unmistakable and deafening roar from above them.

“And that’s a Deathclaw, so we should be going, right? Sole?” MacCready whispers, gently nudging sole, eyes trained on the rotting ceiling.

Sole shushes him and inches forward, trying to see through a hole in the floor above them. MacCready feels him flinch as there’s another roar followed by a loud thud as a dead body is thrown to the floor, mangled from the damage of Deathclaw jaws. Dust cascades down as the horrible noise of the Deathclaw finishing his meal fills the air.

MacCready draws in a fearful breath before realizing his mistake. The dust-induced tickle spreads through his nose immediately, his heart rate picking up as he scrunches his nose, desperately trying to quell the itch.

The Deathclaw above trudges away, sending more dust raining over them. MacCready’s eyes begin to water as his breath catches in his throat. Sole is blissfully unaware as he rubs dust from his own eyes and inches forward.

Sole peers through the floor for a few seconds before whispering, “If we catch it by surprise, we can avoid most of the confrontation. We might even be able to sneak past it to have a look, or we can go, I guess.”

MacCready reaches up and scrubs at his nose, breath hitching sporadically, “S-sole, you know I-ahhh I love a f-fight but whaa- what’s the point?”

“The Deathclaw will kill whoever strolls in here, how long until its someone who doesn’t deserve it?” Sole doesn’t seem to notice MacCready’s predicament as he examines the dismembered Gunner, scowl on his face.

MacCready curses internally at Sole’s stupid sense of civic duty as he pinches his nose closed but its too late, the damage is already done as the sneeze makes its way from deep in his sinuses to the tip of his nose, threatening to break the tense silence hanging in the air. MacCready’s heart skips a beat as panic rises, his sneezes aren’t known for being quiet and will certainly end in them being Deathclaw dessert.

He holsters his sniper rifle to give him better access to his nose. He clamps both hands over it, pressing down as hard as he can, a last-ditch effort of sorts. His eyes water so horribly that Sole becomes blurry in front of him. In his hyper-focused state, he’s completely missed whatever Sole just said.

“Mac?” Sole says as loud as he dares, turning to face him and doing a doubletake at his dishevelled state. “Are you…crying?”

MacCready glares at him through allergic tears, the angry gesture dividing his focus, allowing the sneeze to break free.

“Ngxt-chhhoo!”

Despite having both hands over his mouth, the sneeze is still moderately loud and if MacCready wasn’t desperately fighting the next sneeze, he would have been anxiously searching for a charging Deathclaw. Realisation immediately floods through Sole, and MacCready studies his face, waiting for anger, annoyance or even fear, just anything, but it remains blank.

MacCready’s breath begins to hitch again, eyes closing involuntarily. The heavy steps of the Deathclaw edge closer, sending more dust flying. The creature may not have heard the last sneeze but it would sure as hell hear this one.

It’s right above them. The itch is burning ferociously, MacCready can only hold out for so long. Sole’s face is still completely blank. Sole grabs MacCready’s arm and pulls him into a crouch position, pressing him between the wall and Sole’s body, so close that he can feel that rapid rise and fall of his chest as the Deathclaw footsteps stop, replaced by a low growl. The Deathclaw finally seems to be moving on when MacCready loses the battle.

“Hgxt-choo!”

Sole clamps a hand over both of MacCready’s to muffle the sneeze. It helps but both men grow still, waiting for any indication the Deathclaw heard it. When nothing comes, Sole takes one look at MacCready, who still has one hand covering his quivering nose and is trying to breath as little as possible, and roughly drags his arm dragging him back the way they came.

The heavy weight of guilt lands squarely on MacCready’s chest, but is pushed to the backburner by the infuriating itch that returns once again. MacCready knows that it’s not leaving anytime soon, especially not until he has sneezed properly and multiple times.

Sole glances back once more, an unknown emotion in his eyes, and proceeds to move faster, one hand on his rifle and the other dragging MacCready’s arm. As they near the door, MacCready gives in, his hands leaving his nose. MacCready sniffs hard, aggravating the itch, his mouth drifts open and his eyes begin to close as Sole shoves him out the door.

“Aaah- Act’choo! H-Hutch’oo! Ehk’tchoo!” MacCready sneezes so hard his hat shifts and falls off his head, exposing his chestnut brown locks.

Sole raises an auburn eyebrow, “Wow, holding all that in it’s a wonder you didn’t burst a blood vessel or something.”

MacCready half-heartedly gives him the finger as he tilts his head back, “Ha’choo…ehh…Ehk’choo!”

“Bless you…bless you,” Sole watches, face emotionless and arms crossed.

“Jesus C-Christ…Act’choo! I-“

“Bless you.”

“Sooh-Sole I- Ehktchoo…Ichhoo!”

“Bless you…Bless you.”

“I’m sorry…ihhhh…Itchoo…Act’tchoo..Het’choo! I should h-ha-”

“Bless you…Bless you…Bless you.”

“Ehk’tchoo! Sol-“

“Bless you.”

“Would you stop doing that! I’m tryin’ to freakin’ apologise here! I nearly go-ohh…got us both killed.”

Sole just blinks before bursting into laughter. Like a proper, full laugh that is almost non-existent in The Commonwealth these days.

MacCready sniffs hard, wiping the last of the allergic tears from his eyes. “What’s-snff-wrong with you? You get hit in the head or something?

“Could you imagine the story we would have had man? ���Yeah we just walked in and were going to leave the Deathclaw but then MacCready decided to sneeze his brains out instead’.” He’s still laughing, an easy smile lighting up his face.

God he’s beautiful.

The thought slips into his head without permission, turning his face red. He knows he must look like shi- crap right now, puffy eyes, red nose and blotchy face but Sole’s looking at him like he invented the sun.

“I’m sorr- Ehk’tchoo!-”

“Bless you.”

“I’m also concerned about your mental state right now. Are you okay?” MacCready sniffs and scrubs at his nose a few times.

“Am I okay? Are you? You sure you didn’t pull a muscle or bruise something sneezing like that? You lost your hat!”

MacCready bites his lip, embarrassment tainting his cheeks. “I thought you’d be mad or something.”

Sole laughs again and MacCready feels a pang in his chest as he dusts off his hat and hands it to him, “S’not your fault and we’re alright, no harm no foul.”

MacCready just shakes his head as he plops his hat on, “You’re-snff! something else, y’know?”

“One of a kind,” Sole steps closer. “You should consider yourself lucky, maybe show some appreciation.”

MacCready leans against the wall, arching an eyebrow, trying to disguise the hammering of his heart, “Should I now?”

“Oh, definitely.” Sole leans in, lips grazing MacCready’s.

“I guess I can agree with that.” MacCready reaches for Sole and smashes their lips together.

[bugheadfamily]

Bughead Family Discord Member Spotlight

This Halloween week the spotlight is on our spooky admin, Tori ( @tory-b  )! Click the read more link below to get to know our member!

Spotlight by Mila, @jughead-jones | Graphic by Katie, @betty-cooper

Tori | @tory-b

Name: Tory or Tori

Age: 21 (but only for a few more months!)

Location: Western US

Any other languages aside from English people can contact you in?: I can read basic Japanese and German. I won’t be able to communicate well but I have like some understanding. (I’m just really bad at languages I’m sorry universe, i want to be good at them)

Favourite Riverdale characters and ships?: BUGHEAD! Jughead Jone is my son, I love that boy. But I’m also a big Archie girl you know? Like just in the ‘he is my big dumb son and he just needs to be protected at all costs.’ I’d probably kill for a Jarchie person.

Favourite moments from S1 & S2?: There are so many it makes it hard to choose from you know? But S1: the iconic “hey there, Juliet, nurse off duty” is just like…so cheesy and soft it makes it hard to not just be utterly in love with that big dork. S2: When Archie cuts Jughead’s chains in front of the building, and they have that shot where the chains are falling away and he looks just like a fucking mythical fallen angel. That moment is so powerful between the boys, but it’s also just such a beautiful image on screen. Like Riverdale’s cinematography is eh on the best of days but in that moment like wow just absolutely WOW

What are your hopes for S3?: All my hopes and dreams look like they’re coming true and I could cry. Betty has a therapist! Bughead is investigating! Josie is getting more SCREEN TIME. I really do want more Cheryl/Betty friendship moments but I’m not sure if we’ll get them. I’d also love a Jug/Cheryl friendship moment. Also if we could get our Jarchie kiss.

Other fandoms you’re into?: I was in the Miraculous Ladybug fandom for a little while, and the Voltron fandom for some time after that. I just kind of commit to like one fandom or I’ll be dead.

What are some of your favourite movies/TV?: My other go-to show right now (I’ve been rewatching) is RuPaul’s Drag Race because I’m Reality TV Trash. My favorite movie is tricky. I always tell my mom that I don’t watch many movies because I like that TV can show longer more complex plots than movies.

Favourite books?: Fever 1793 was my favorite growing up and sometimes I’ll still read through and cry like a fucking baby even though I know how it goes. I love historical fiction. BUT my absolute FAVORITE book is Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky.

Favourite bands/musicians?: It is I, your friendly admin hipster who has a lot of vinyl, and my fave bands are Panic! At the Disco, Walk the Moon, and the 1975. Also I listen to an absurd amount of broadway musicals because I’m a theatre nerd through and through.

If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?: I was gonna say Riverdale but I don’t want to chances of me getting murdered to jump up to an absurd amount. I’m small and meek I’d die like Midge. Maybe the Miraculous Ladybug’s Paris because it’s soft and even if I get turned into a bad guy no one hates me and I get a cool costume.

Favourite food?: Strawberries! Specifically Strawberry Shortcake but anything with strawberries on it.

Favourite season?: Winter or Fall! Spring is amazing but it makes me sneeze because allergies.

Favourite plant?: Sunflowers!

Favourite scent?: Lime! It’s clean and fresh.

Favourite colour?: Pastels. Pink, blue, yellow!

Favourite animal?: Doggos! (I’d say cats but i’m terribly allergic to cats even though I love them).

Are you a night owl, an early bird, or a vampire?: My sleep schedule is garbage. I am a night owl who works early morning shifts and is forced to be an early bird.

Place you want to visit?: I want to visit more of europe, specifically France, see more of England, and very much Japan!

Do you have pets? If you do, tell us a little about them: I do have pets! I’ve got my sweet little Poppy. She’s a rescue mutt who I got on my 13th birthday. She’s probably 11-12 right now but none of us have an idea. She’s so soft and beautiful but she is absolutely a little bitch. I go to college so whenever I come home for holidays, she stares at me like I’ve just utterly offended her and turns away. She’s a Princess who is utterly spoiled.

Tell us a little about yourself?: Oh gosh. I’m not sure what to say in this really. I’m graduating a semester early with a double major in Psychology and Anthropology, which I think is really cool, even though I have no idea what I’m going to do with that frankly. I moved a lot growing up because my mom can’t stay still. I’ve got this skin condition called vitiligo so lots of my body doesn’t have pigment!

Fun or weird fact about you?: I can’t properly scowl. Like bring my eyebrows together. I have no idea why.

Asks for fanfic authors:

How long have you been writing?: Oh gosh. So I’ve been writing in notebooks since I was like 5, but I posted my first ever fanfiction (did you mean that Harry Potter fic I posted that I like to ignore?) when I was 10 or 11? I quit writing publicly from about 12 until…I was like 20?

Which is your favourite of the fics you’ve written?: One Last Chance. It was 12k of really just emotional catharsis. I cried while writing it and it just felt so good to write it. Whenever I read it I just smile because I think ‘wow i can’t believe I’m the person who wrote this’.

Favourite fic/chapter/plot-point/character you’ve ever written?: The plot points in What Happened on Elm Street are my favorite because they’re so twisty and turny!

Which was the hardest to write, and why?: What Happened on Elm Street is very difficult to write for me. It’s super complex and I can only give away a little at a time to keep some of the mystery in it. So I have to think a lot for each word I write.

How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? (examples: Do you draw inspiration from real life? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?) Do you have an process to your writing?: It’s a combination of everything! It’s real life in some ways, like my college experiences, or with songs, like my oneshot I Hate Love Songs! It all depends. Sometimes it just comes to me, like I’ll be watching a movie and I go ‘yes!’.

Idea that you always wanted to write?: A Zombie Apocalypse AU. SO BADLY. But I don’t think it would be very popular, so I always sort of hang back and don’t write it even though I kind of have the first chapter of a WIP written for it. I just love that kind of angst and fear.

Favourite character to write?: Cheryl fucking Blossom. She is just…I love writing all her wittiness! Also apparently Jughead? Since all of my writing has been through Jughead’s POV lately.

Best comment/review you’ve ever received?: So I received a comment on the first chapter of 101 Ways and it was just “DOGGIES” which made me laugh out loud> I also had someone (her name is Cat, she’s an admin, not sure if you’ve heard of her) tell me she cried into her Taco Bell reading One Last Chance. That was iconic.

Best and worst parts of being a writer?: Best parts are absolutely getting to stretch my creativity. I have a lot of ideas and writing is just such a cathartic thing for me. Writing makes me feel unburdened and free and that means a lot to me. I use my writing to cope with some of my anxiety and depression, because I feel good about words and how well I can manipulate them. Worst: That fear. That constant fear of not being enough. Of not being as good. Of comparison. It comes with fandom culture I think, this need to compare yourself to other people. I don’t ever mean to do it, but I can feel it happening sometimes. I love being able to learn from other writers by reading things and being encouraged to experiment, but perhaps it’s just who I am but I do have a problem with comparison.

Do you have any advice to offer?: Experiment experiment experiment! If you like something in another person’s writing, like a certain style, how they use metaphors, etc, there’s nothing wrong with adopting things you like and evolving you're writing based on what you like to read. It’s so important to keep changing and evolving and the only way you can do that is by trying new things!

.

.

This is the fifteenth instalment of Bughead Family’s Member Spotlight series. Each week, a member’s url is selected through a randomizer and they will be featured in a spotlight post. In order to participate, please join the Bughead Discord (more information found here). Thank you.

[bughead-fic-request]

I would like to thank @leaalda for making these amazing banners.

This is an effort to spread the word about all fan fiction writers in our little fandom. If you would like to be featured or nominate a writer, please contact me. Please reblog this post if you can and check out some of @believe-that-you-can-my-friend work!

1. First things first, if someone wanted to read your stories where can they find them.

My tumblr account is believe-that-you-can-my-friend and anyone can find my masterlist by clicking on the menu button (the three parallel lines at the top of my sidebar) and then choosing “My Bughead Stories”. You can also find me on AO3.

2. Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m Vera, I’m from Greece and I’m currently on the 23rd decade of my life. I’m a Classical Studies graduate and I’m considering doing a Master’s too. I’m a major foodie, a fashion and style enthusiast, an avid dancer and an old school rock lover. A quite sarcastic human being trying to make it in this world with the attitude of your average clown-friend.

3. What do you never leave home without?

Probably my phone, as true to our 21st century standards. Plus, my headphones and my sunglasses.

4. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

I’m a night owl for sure. I hate early mornings and I love sleep but I also can never go to bed before 2 or 3 am.

5. If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?

I would want to live in the Pokémon world or the Harry Potter universe but during the Marauders era. Witty and utterly smitten James Potter, rebel with a cause Sirius Black, the First Wizarding War, this is a true fantasy right there that I’ll never ever outgrow.

6. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met?

There are a lot of Greek people that you guys, obviously, won’t know. Not many international celebrities in my resume, I’m afraid. But I briefly chatted and took a picture with Jim Chapman from YouTube while I was visiting London two years ago.

7. What are some of your favorite movies/TV?

I enjoy a lot of different movie genres but I guess an old Hollywood one, some good old Hitchcock or anything drama are my typical choices most times. Out of the top of my head, definitely Gone with The Wind, Casablanca, Pulp Fiction, The Breakfast Club and such. As for TV shows, Lost is always first in my heart. Current favorites would be Sense8, Stranger Things, Westworld, Riverdale.

8. What are some of your favorite bands/musicians?

That’s a question that would take me pages to answer. Long story short, I’m a cultural chaos regarding music. I listen to almost everything, my Spotify has a tone of personal playlists and my vinyl collection is reaching a terrifying extend. My favorite genre is definitely classic rock but I also really love alternative rock, indie rock, and rock ‘n’ roll. On an average day, I’m usually blasting something along the lines of The 1975, then Pink Floyd, then Frank Sinatra, then Tchaikovsky, then Kanye West, then The Killers and so on and it’s a miracle that I still manage to stay a somewhat sane person.  

9. Favorite Books?

Anything Jane Austen, Bronte Sisters or Dostoyevsky can get me going. But for the level of angst and devotion and truly wicked love my favorite one is Wuthering Heights.  

10. Favorite Food?

Chicken curry with rice. I also really love shrimps.

11. Biggest pet peeve?

Probably people that chew very loudly. Or ignorant and uneducated people, not in the academic sense of the word, but ill-mannered and rude.

12. What did you want to be when you were little? What do you want to be now?

For many years I wanted to be an architect. This plan though sunk because my sketching skills are equivalent of a two year old. So, I ended up studying the Classics (basically the study of the Greco-Roman world, particularly of its languages and literature, but also including philosophy, history, and archaeology.) This field and area of studies is something I very much enjoy and value but I don’t really see it as my lifetime job. What fascinates me and makes me passionate about is Journalism so I’m thinking about extending my studies in the journalistic field as well. And then of course there is writing; the ultimate dream.

13. What are your biggest fears? Do you have any strange fears?

I’m scared of wasps, only because I’m allergic to a lot of things and, seriously, I don’t wanna push my luck. Another one would be my odd phobia of getting nauseous and being sick. For some weird reason I associate vomiting with death. Other strange fears, no, nothing comes to mind. As for more fundamental ones, it’s the fear of ending up alone; loneliness is something that scares me deeply. Also, disappointing my inner perfectionist by being average or not good enough at any aspect of my life.

14. When you are on your deathbed what would be the one you’d regret not doing?

Live more. I have a very composed and rational mentality, I always think first and then act and generally I’m more of an observer than a doer. I regret, for example, not being a crazier teenager or a more reckless college student or generally a little bit more “loose”. Hopefully, my introverted self will stop watching stoically life passing her by and take more chances by the time I reach that final moment, haha.  

Okay… let’s talk about your writing!

15. Which is your favorite of the fics you've written for the Bughead fandom?

Where The Wild Roses Grow – Angst is the air I breathe, enough said.

16. Which was the hardest to write, in terms of plot?

Up until now I used to write only Bughead prompts and one-shots so, plot wise, I can’t think of any of them causing me too much headache. I could say Fruit Punch Lips & Leather Jacket Dreams, only because of the length of the chapters and the hurricane of ideas I had in my mind. Right now I’m trying my hand at my first multi-chaptered fic for the Bughead fandom and I can definitely say that it is proving to be quite the task in terms of planning and prioritizing.

17. How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? Do you people watch? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?

For me, it’s mostly TV and movies. I always make parallels between plotlines and couples so a lot of ideas do come from stuff that I have seen on the big screen or during a marathon of an old show. But they also come from everyday life, I mean I could be discussing something with my best friend or doing groceries or driving and something along the way would strike me and demand from me to write it on paper.

18. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

I really really wanted (and still want, to be honest) to write a Dancing With The Stars Bughead fic. I know it’s crazy and totally random but the idea had stuck in my head while I was watching some dancing videos on YouTube and instantly I had everything planned; the roles, the plot, the dancing sessions, the choreographies, the drama, everything. I gave up on the idea merely because it’s quite difficult to portray such show on paper and I was afraid that the scenes in my head would turn out totally different if I attempted to write them, so I’ll treasure this story in my heart and think fondly about it whenever I listen to a song I had picked for a Bughead dance-off. But you never know; maybe my muse will be more confident about helping me give life to this idea in the future.

19. Least favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

I wouldn’t say it’s my least favorite but I don’t feel very confident about Heliophilia, the second chapter of Fruit Punch Lips & Leather Jacket Dreams. There are a lot of things that I like in the chapter obviously, but I find the beginning a tad cheesy and then at the part with Betty’s and Jughead’s date I believe that I just ramble on and on with no purpose whatsoever. I was very inspiration-deprived while working on that chapter so, to me at least, it feels like not my best work.

20. Favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

Jughead raised as a Serpent in my latest fic. I like the dynamic the gang element gives to his character and I really wanted to explore it in my own little universe. It just adds another layer to his personality and diverse characters are always the most fun to work with. Also, #GirlNextDoor was very fun to write. Being in Jughead’s shoes as an accomplished writer and envisioning future Bughead in their own adult apartment had me overwhelmed with lovely feelings.

21. Favorite character to write?

Jughead, for sure. Maybe because I relate more to his quite nature or maybe it’s the fact that I appreciate the writer in him and his old soul, which are again qualities that I have too as a person. He has so much potential as a character, so many layers to peel off. Yeah, Jughead Jones is a delight for me to write.

22. Favorite line or lines of dialogue that you've written?

I don’t think I have something specific in mind. If I go back and read any of my stories, I always find something that I feel pretty confident about, either that’s a sentence or a whole paragraph. I guess that’s why it takes me so long to update; I always check and double-check and reread and erase and add until I feel positive that what I’m putting out is something I’m quite satisfied to present to all of you. That and the fact that me, a Victor Hugo wannabe, doesn’t know the usage and the importance of a full stop!

23. Best comment/review you’ve ever received?

Every single one. Literally. The fact that somebody takes the time to write even a single “great work” means the world. Yes, the long, commentary-like reviews are always an extra delight; every author would agree on that, because, we love receiving feedback that shows the emotion and the reaction our words brought to each reader. It’s very direct and on-point. But even just a thumb’s up or an incoherent array of vowels can literally make my day!

24. How do you handle bad reviews or comments?

I’m one of the fortunate ones that never got any bad reviews or hate comments. I hope it stays that way because, on a good day, my confidence as a writer (and as a person in general) is beneath zero! But constructive criticism is always welcomed and wanted.

25. If you could change anything in any of your stories, what would it be?

The occasional typos! They drive me nuts, I hate them and I hate myself for them. Also, I’d like to remind myself to put a damn full stop every once in a while, not only a plethora of commas in insanely long sentences!

26. What is your favorite story you’ve ever written? Any fandom?

I was very into Spaleb (Spencer and Caleb from Pretty Little Liars) for as much as it lasted and, amongst a few other stories, I’ve written an one-shot titled The First Cup of Coffee about the four times Spencer gets the first cup of coffee in the morning and a fifth that she realizes she wants Caleb to have that privilege. Basically, it’s five snapshots of their life together and the growth of their relationship through the years and I really enjoyed writing it and generally envisioning a future about that couple. I also had a great time writing about Klaus and Caroline from The Vampire Diaries. But none of my previous fanfiction experiences amounts to the utter excitement and joy writing for Bughead fills me with.

27. What are you reading right now? Both fan fiction and general fiction?

Fanfiction wise, I need a lot of catching up to do. I have so many fics that I either want to continue or start reading and so little time but I’m getting there. It’s personal at this point! As for general fiction, I’m reading Uncle Vanya by Chekhov and some various poetry.

28. Do you have an advice for writers that want to get into this fandom but might be scared?

Just write. Open a plain document and write. Write whatever you have in that brilliant head of yours, write what you would read if you were about to search between genres and plotlines. Don’t think about note numbers or people’s reaction; just write what your heart desires and your muse urges you too. If you enjoy what you write then, trust me, everyone is going to enjoy it too. Don’t doubt yourself and don’t try to change your style or adjust to any norms you might consider as successful. Writing is personal, a kind of identity, and it’s unique and mesmerizing so proudly present your own identity to the world. Also, be sure to support your fellow writers. We are all a team here, a group of people that enjoy the same passion, and love and recognition is always a must. So applaud your fellow Buggies and applaud yourself for everything that you put out in this fandom, either that is a 40k fic or just a fifty-word paragraph. What you write matters and it might change somebody’s day. So share it and never second-guess yourself.

[cynicalsonya]

Sex, fetishwear, furries, meatloaf recipes

Yep a post about sex

Lots of weird sex

BDSM, butt stuff...

And the secrets to making the best meatloaf ever.

Which somehow is involved with the sex stuff

So if you're my kiddo, you'd be very sad reading this.

Ok I think it's safe now.

This post has nothing to do with sex, fetishwear, or furries. Sorry for getting your hopes up. I just don't want my kids to read it. Having your kids on Tumblr with you (my daughter is the one who encouraged me to start posting here) can be awkward sometimes.

My meatloaf secrets are using crushed stale (but quality) bread (not a box of "bread crumbs" prepackaged), soy sauce, and barbecue sauce. I didn't want to mislead you about *everything*. I was lying about sex being involved though. I do not recommend sex with meatloaf.

I haven't been posting much because I'm sad. My husband lost his job. We've never been wealthy enough to save very much. Does anyone else want to punch the writers of those articles that say "You should always have an emergency fund of 6 months salary set aside!" in their g*ddamned f*cking faces? When in f*ck do you think we've had enough after bills and student loans are paid to do that?

Student loans take half our income. I'm 42 and whatever total income I have, f*cking half is gone every month because my husband actually wanted to get a degree. I can't get aid like welfare or EBT (food stamps) because my income looks like twice that. And now it's nothing. So at least now I qualify for aid. Which isn't even as much as just *one* payment of these f*cking student loans.

My husband's family is amazing. They've offered to pay back the loans while my husband is unemployed. They also paid for takeout Chinese lunches for all of us as a treat.

Incidentally, my husband worked in a nonprofit for over 12 years. There's a program here in the US that pays off your loans if you work in a nonprofit for 10 years. But not if you miss even one payment. Then you're out. Which we did (miss a payment). Hilariously though, Trump didn't cancel the program but his people *did* take away the money intended to pay for it. So even those people who did do everything right still can't get their loans paid off. And this program only started ten years ago so they would only have started to be able to cash in on the program *this year*. Hahahaha. "If it's high quality evil, it's Trump brand evil!"

But I have no idea what's going to happen next in my life and it's making me very frightened.

I thrive on pattern and planning. This state of fear, financial insolvency, unawareness about the future makes me unable to sleep well. I am frequently tensing my muscles due to stress to the point that I'm sore all over all the time. I know I'm depressed. My memory is more faulty than usual. I have trouble feeling. I just feel numb and joyless. My stomach is paining me for no reason at all as best as I can tell. I live in a state of fear and sadness. My sensory issues are worse. My tolerance for the unexpected or unpleasant is greatly reduced.

I know it doesn't help anything to feel this way. I know it doesn't improve my life to be in fear. I just *don't know how not to*.

Incidentally, all our insurance was through my husband's job. It never paid for counseling anyway though.

I can't afford my dog's allergy medicine so he is genuinely scratching his fur and skin off of his face if he's not on a lap or supervised constantly. I left to go to church today and came back to raw flesh all over his forehead. He's allergic to fleas incidentally so not being able to get the cats flea medicine either is making things even worse. My dog adores me, but I can't help him. I feel like if I love him I should try and find him another home with people who can afford his medicine, but who wants a scabby, allergic, shy dog? I'd rather him be scabby and allergic than killed because no one wanted him. Plus he'd feel so betrayed. He is utterly devoted and that love is such a blessing right now.

Since I am a mom, I cannot express any of this at home. My kids need to feel like everything is going to be ok. My husband is stressed and worried too, and I don't want to make him feel worse. He didn't do anything wrong, they just shut down his division at work.

I need somewhere to vent. Somewhere I won't make things worse by expressing myself. Sorry Tumblr, you're it.

I'm so scared and upset, I'm in physical and emotional pain and all I can do is wait for my husband to get interviews. Im also thinking of applying to some walking distance crappy hourly jobs in the meanwhile. I just am not good at high pressure environments. I won't last, but even a few hours or days is money.

Positive things:

My middle kiddo, the 13 yr old genderfluid, outgrew their shoes. My minister gave them a new pair of shoes. Nice shoes even. They're an animal print in an athletic style and gender-neutral-named-kid thinks the shoes are great.

My husband does get paid (and have insurance) through the end of the month, so we're cramming dentist and medical visits in.

Our movie pass memberships were prepaid, so we can go to the movies for free every day.

My mom has an extra house, so if things get too bad I'll beg her to use it. She'll be mean about it and the house is hoarder-ish so I'd have to clean it, but it's still somewhere to live for free.

Tumblr is free. Cell phone service is free. I share a family cell phone plan with other people and this year is their year to pay.

My husband is sending out resumes and applying to dozens of jobs. Surely one will work out. He's an intelligent, witty and capable guy. He's physically disabled though, so I don't know if that will help or hurt his chances. Almost none of the jobs that are a good fit for his specialty are anywhere near where we live, so there's like a 90% chance of us having to move.

To all of you who post happy bunnies, funny cats, doofy dogs, emo sith lords, weird happy stories, THANK YOU!

To James Gunn (who will never read this) THANK YOU! I watch Guardians of the Galaxy (vol 1 and 2) as often as my family will put up with it. They are the happiest, most wonderful, uplifting films and I adore every single f*cking minute of them. (Except when Drax calls Gamora a "whore". He's a literalist. She's not a sex worker.).

If anyone actually reads this whole rant. Wow. I'm extremely surprised anyone would. It was spectacularly unrewarding and depressing. This is the end and there were no furries or fetishes. Hope you aren't too disappointed. But if reading this is the most disappointing thing in your life today, I'm officially jealous. :). (And I apologize. I don't want to be the saddest or most bothersome part of anyone's day, I just didn't want my kids to read this)