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bukojuiice · 4 years ago

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— their wedding day with you.

ೃ pairings: (izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugo, shoto todoroki, x fem! reader)

ೃ tags: headcanons, tooth rotting fluff

ೃ warnings: none

ೃ my nav → my mha writing masterlist → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau

ೃ if you want to be a part of my mha taglist. send me an ask! ♡

ೃ please do reblog if you enjoyed!! it really helps writers and content creators on tumblr! (feel free to add tags too because i love reading them and my heart swells with happiness when people love my work!)

ೃ after a million wedding videos and pinterest boards later, i’m excited to share with all of you my wedding hcs! these are short and a quick read so i hope you enjoy! ♡

- you and your fiancé, katsuki, were arguing over the venue and the theme of the wedding. he wanted it to be a simple ceremony. perhaps taking place at just a regular event place- whilst you wanted the venue to be at a beach.

- it was a dream you had always wanted while innocently planning your wedding as a kid. so why not make it a reality?

- The two of you peacefully decided on it over rock paper scissors. You won so… the beach wedding it is.

- (Katsuki actually loved the idea of the beach wedding as much as you did. He just didn’t want to admit it.)

- coral blue and oceana palettes, luscious palm trees swaying with the wind coming from the sea, the calming sound and view of the ocean, coral and shell designs hung everywhere, tables and chairs with little boho and aquatic inspired designs.

- mitsuki bakugo insisted on making your wedding dress. you were overjoyed and deeply touched by her sweet gesture. As she wants the best for her beautiful and loving daughter in law after all.

- The dress was one of the most angelic and heavenly gowns you have ever seen in your entire life. a long graphic lace gown with an open back and the edges of your white dress had frills like that of a mermaid tail. you wore a shell bracelet, to match with katsuki’s.

- kirishima and kaminari jokingly dared bakugo to wear a tuxedo heavily inspired by the dc superhero, aquaman to keep the beach theme going. of course, katsuki ignored their suggestions and little jokes, opting for something of his usual style. his suit partially unbuttoned, tan rolled up-pants and matching shell bracelets with you.

- as you walk down the aisle, katsuki could not think of anything but the bursting feeling inside of him saying that this was it. this serendipitous event was going to signify the start of his life... his life with you.

- your beauty and radiance was like that of a mermaid, your (h/c) hair flowing with the wind and the ocean was there as if practically glowing for you. whereas he felt like a mere pirate who could do nothing but watch you from afar as he sailed the shores.

- yet here you are, about to approach him, to finally begin this momentous event.

- the gentle mermaid fell in love with the aggressive pirate. how sweet.

- you insisted on playing songs from the little mermaid during your walk down the aisle and during the reception, sadly, katsuki disapproved of both. with a little convincing and a dozen of cute pouty faces later, he agreed to have someone play a romantic song. just one.

- the two of you decided on someone performing a beautiful rendition of “can’t take my eyes off of you”

- bakugo was about to cry while reciting his vows. Almost. He was totally going to shed some tears after the wedding ceremony, for only you to see, and before the two of you make your appearance at the reception.

- the wedding and the reception ends wonderfully as fireworks began to pop in the sky, colorful swirls as if they were coloring the sky, with one of the firecrackers even shaped as a heart. the reception continues with people dancing, and while your husband wasn’t one for festivities and dancing, he would give this day a pass as you bring him to the middle of the dance floor as the two of you dance the night away.

- “you’re just too good to be true... Can't take my eyes off of you~ you'd be like Heaven to touch, i wanna hold you so much~”

- shoto wants the most important day of his life to be reminiscent of a fairy tale as he wasn’t able to experience the wonder and the beauty of it as a child.

- to keep the theme consistent, he rents out a quaint recreational woodland not far from the city.

- he wants it to be perfect just for you especially since you’ve been dreaming of living a fairy tale for such a long time… and here you are now about to fulfill that dream.

- the wedding starting at dusk, twinkling lights and garlands hanging around the trees, fairy lights sprawled about, blooming archways, lilac ash and sandstone pallets, long romantic banquet, and guests composed of his closest friends and family.

- you’re dressed in a beautiful white (with pastel blue accents) floofy dress reminiscent of a fairy. embroidered with vines, satin flowers, and butterfly accents. instead of a veil, you’re wearing a flower crown decorated with pretty white daisies and leaves.

- whilst shoto was wearing a suit reminiscent of peter pan. an exquisite blue suit with a peter pan lily as his boutonnière.

- As soon as he sees you walking down the aisle, tears were about to stream down from his cheeks.

- the whole todoroki fam are at the brink of tears too, as these were one of the very rare times they see the youngest todoroki with the biggest smile and most blissful look on his face.

- All of the guests stand up, each seat has one thin branch with attached handcrafted butterflies and fireflies for them to hold up and to illuminate your way to Shoto.

- A musician strums their guitar and begins to sing “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis Presley.

- He’s just beyond delighted to see you. As if flowers were blooming with every step you take, approaching closer and closer to him.

- “wise men say... only fools rush in... but I can’t help falling in love with you...”

- You looked ethereal. Like a dawning light.

- You continue to walk down the aisle, looking back at him. All the pure love and adoration you have visible in your eyes.

- midway through your vows, shoto couldn’t take it anymore and the tears just flowed down his face. you giggle lightly, the other guests were snickering along. you bring him into a hug, kissing his tear-imprinted face as the two of you continue with the ceremony.

- It felt like an absolute dream. This was the best day of both of your lives after all.

- “And they lived happily ever after.”

- you and izuku just wanted a simple yet still fancy backyard wedding.

- as the two of you wanted to spend most of your budget on traveling the world for your honeymoon trip instead.

- you could still make things absolutely beautiful and pleasing to look at after all. with your amazing teamwork and working on the planning together, you could manifest a delightful wedding.

- there wasn’t a particular theme per se. both you and izu weren’t really ones to go into specifics anyway. you just wanted to replicate a very light and airy feeling that can be seen in most dreamy weddings.

- string lights hung everywhere, a huge whimsical canopy was built up on the yard with two iridescent chandeliers hanging on the inside, draped fabrics and lush, interwoven greenery, mint and powdered colored accents, and a mini bar at the entrance.

- all of the heroes that izuku had known all his life were invited to the wedding. and of course, they wouldn’t miss it for the world. with practically everyone attending the #1 hero’s big day.

- with the help of the girls from class 1-a and after several hours of trying on the most beautiful dresses, your heart was set on an embroidered tulle and crepe white gown. instead of a veil, you opted for a white crown headpiece, resembling that of a halo.

- izuku on the other hand, at the behest of the boys of class 1-a, wanted him to wear something extravagant that could woo you. izuku disliked all the suits that they made him try out and instead went for a black suit jacket, dark blue dress shirt, and to complete the look, a cute little bow tie.

- you walk down the aisle, holding a bouquet of flowers, your calming and ever so beaming presence felt like the light that he had been looking for all his life.

- izuku could just stare at you lovingly like this if he could. he fights the tears welling up in his eyes, but he knows he’s going to break soon.

- and he does. as soon as he starts reciting his vows, izuku begins to weep. the genuineness and the love that you could hear from his voice and from the emotions he was showing right now made you feel so warm inside.

- you hug him and squeeze both of his hands tight as he calmly yet emotionally goes through the entirety of his vow.

- at the reception, inko and all might offer a special toast to you and izuku. their speech composed mostly of doting words and a lot of light-hearted “parent” jokes.

- dekusquad + bakugo came up to the stage too to give their chaotic toast to the groom and bride, and the atmosphere and the mood became even more fun and lighthearted.

- as a surprise, you and izuku prepared a short musical number. the two of you were going to duet stand by me by ben e. king.

- “when the night has come... and the land is dark... and the moon is the only light we'll see~ no I won't be afraid... oh, I won't be afraid. just as long as you stand, stand by me~”

ೃ taglist: @chibishae34 @sparkykatsuki @ramunegoddess, @serossimpy

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tiesandtea · 4 years ago

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I met two members of London Suede, Brett Anderson and Mat Osman, in the lounge of a major New York hotel. They were at the beginning of a four-city tour of the U.S. in support of their newest release, Coming Up on Columbia Records. I got a chance to talk to them about songwriting, performing and who they think can write a good song. Brett did almost all the talking and never took his sunglasses off. Hey, he's a rock star; he doesn't have to. This was my first time interviewing a British band and I couldn't escape the feeling of being Rob Reiner in Spinal Tap.

An interview with Brett & Mat by Dave Levine for Urban Desires, May 1997. The rest of the article under the cut. (x)

London Suede, or Suede as they're known in England, is at the forefront of the new Brit-Pop explosion that includes bands like Oasis, Blur and Pulp. They write lush poppy songs reminiscent of Bowie in the late seventies. As with many of the new British bands, success in America is hard won. They released their first record, Nude in 1993 and it went #1 in England but didn't make much sound on this side of the Atlantic. Why? well Brett thinks he knows, so read on.

UD: So have you guys been to New York a lot? LS: Yeah, we've been here quite a few times. UD: So what's the difference between London night life and New York? LS: I don't know really. I think every city in the world is pretty much the same, isn't it? I mean there's no difference between New York, and London. Everyone likes to think that they live in the biggest, baddest city in the world. London's just as big and bad as New York and Rio de Janeiro is just as big and bad as London. I think at this point in the twentieth century everyone is so well connected and the world's just become one big place... got tramps sittin' in the street and sex and sleaze and stuff like that. It's all the same, isn't it? UD: Except for the bars in London close at 11:00. LS: Yeah, but there are after-hours places. UD: What's your favorite place in the world to play? London? LS: Probably Thailand or Scandinavia. UD: Why? Because the crowds are crazy, and they just love it? LS: They're mad, especially in Singapore. They sing along with every word. UD: What about New York? To me, New York crowds are jaded. LS: Yeah, they are a bit. Last time we played here it was shit. I can't really get my hands around the mentality. I don't really know how to put this. I mean, I don't want to be offensive. UD: Go ahead be offensive, it makes good copy. LS: New Yorkers want to be shouted at or they don't respect you. They tend to assume that quietness equals weakness, which it doesn't. That's an assumption that I don't think anyone in the world makes. The first show we did here was really boring and the second show we were going through quite alot of bad times with the band. We were having alot of internal arguments and it was a real low point in our relations. We were so fucked up with each other, we absolutely fuckin' hated each other... I don't know how to put it.... UD: New York probably loved that. LS: Exactly, it came across in the gig. It was a real wild gig. UD: I read in your press release that when you first started playing, people hated you. Is that true? LS: (Both laughing) UD: Critically too, and then at some point it changed. Did you do anything? LS: No we just got better, that's all there is to it. We always were going against the grain, and so when you're doing something that is going against the grain and you're not very good at it, people hate you. When you do something against the grain and you're good at it, people start thinking it's something special. UD: So it was just experience, then? LS: Experience of playing live, learning how to sing and how to write songs.

UD: I want to give people here in the US that don't know much about you some background. How did you get started? LS: No one really fuckin' cares anyway. UD: ... Okay. Why do you think it's hard for modern British pop bands to break into the U.S.? LS: I know exactly why that is, 'cause the American music industry is obsessed with categories and things. And we aren't that happy with being categorized. In Europe we're just a pop band. We're #7, and George Michael is #5. You know, we're just a band. There is a song on the second album called "The Wild Ones." When we first played it for Sony they were doing somersaults. We thought it was like #1 and they took it to radio stations, and they couldn't get it played. They couldn't figure out if it was a love song or a rock song by a band with a bunch of guitars. We took it to alternative and they thought it was too mainstream, and we took it to mainstream and they thought it was too alternative. It's never been my desire to be neatly sectioned into some little box. Then you lose any mystery, any danger, any X factor that you might have had, and I don't think that many bands in Europe are happy being categorized like that. UD: Your press release touted you as the best lyricist of your generation-- LS: --I wouldn't believe anything it says there-- UD: --do you have any problem living up to that? LS: Do I have a problem with that? Yeah, I don't think it's true. I don't think anyone is the best lyricist of a generation. I should burn that press release. It's been the source of so much inflammatory rubbish. UD: What inspired you to start playing? LS: We just loved music and wanted to be in a band. LS: I wanted to be a song writer. UD: What songwriters do you admire? LS: Kraftwerk, Lennon and McCartney, Pet Shop Boys. UD: What do you think of Billy Bragg? LS: I think he's got a big nose. UD: (Laughing) I guess that would be 'not too much'. LS: Naw, I think he's alright. I like some of his love songs. UD: Yeah, he does write good love songs. LS: It's like Bob Dylan; I think all these political writers aren't as political when they are writing love songs. I think their political stuff stinks. Bob Dylan's political songs are so fucking one dimensional, and the same goes for Billy Bragg. UD: So you don't believe in the folk, socio-political commentary song? LS: Yeah I do. I just don't believe it's effective when it's put in that crass category. I don't think any of Bob Dylan's political songs were that moving. UD: ... What about "Times They Are A Changing"? LS: Yeah, I guess. UD: What about Elvis Costello? He's a guy who writes political songs. LS: Yeah I like "Shipbuilding." That's probably the best political song ever written. It goes beyond politics, and touches on the human consequences of politics, which I think song writing has got to do. I don't think you can just put numbers and manifestos within a chord sequence. I don't think it strikes a chord in the human heart. I think to actually say something to people you've got to say it with emotion. That's why I think that "Shipbuilding" is one of the best political songs.

UD: What's the worst thing about being on the road? LS: Standing in a pool of someone else's piss when you're on a fucking bus on a three-day journey. UD: Is there a story that goes along with that response? LS: No, that's an everyday occurrence. UD: What do you guys think about Tony Blair? LS: I think it's fucking great. I think it's the best thing to happen to England in a couple of years, wonderful. UD: In the United States they compare him a lot to Clinton. LS: A politician can never be one hundred percent great. I think a politician, as long as he inspires confidence in a positive way, then he's a good politician. And I think Blair and Clinton both do that. UD: What kind of press does Clinton get over there? LS: He gets good press. UD: He probably gets better press over there... LS: ... I'd rather see someone like him than some rejuvenated old skeleton like George Bush. You know what I mean? Some old man that looks like they've been revived, you know, dug up from the dead. UD: If you could just sit at home and write songs, would that satisfy you? LS: I don't think so, it's not boring enough yet to do that. There is part that is mundane. There are some low points but then there are some extreme highs and those highs can inform your writing. I think the point of it all is to actually let things inform other things, and let the whole thing become one big process. UD: Do you guys all get along on the road? LS: We've had fights in the past but not in the last couple of years. Although maybe we should start. LS: There is an idea. LS: Maybe I'll punch our bass player. UD: Head butt him? LS: Yeah, I want to give him a good head butt. LS: I might give him a hug. UD: No, don't do that. New Yorkers won't like it. Don't do the hug thing. Don't be nice or anything.

#suede #brett anderson #mat osman #coming up era #i thought i had posted this before but it seems i didn't?#anyway here it is :'DD

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taeguboi · 5 years ago

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BTS as... Rockers

Ngl, I panicked a little when I checked on the masterlist because an older post about BTS as rock band members was labelled as this title and I’d already written this one for like 3 members already. There’s various genres I mention, some of which are also metal and pop but I thought a simple general title would be best here.

Anyways, my second post coming back recently. Hope you enjoy.

Mainly a classics man

Loves to analyse lyrics

and loves writing his own lyrics based on his current favourites

It’s like a form of literature to him

Loves to chill out to prog and psychedelic rock

Accidentally had the same music tastes as that weird geography teacher in school

Probably has a pet named after a member of a power / symphonic metal band

sorry I’m a bit of a Nightwish nerd and now I can just imagine him calling for his dog “Floor!” and everyone getting confused because they think he’s just shouting at the ground

this is the kind of genre he likes the most other than classic rock; that’s where the most literature references are. It’s poetry about poetry

Has a journal of art and lyrics quotes for when he’s super into a song

Could be mistaken for a geek in school

because to a juvenile ear, his taste in music might be challenging to listen to

like no one else had the patience aged 12 to listen to a 9 minute song or an instrumental track

and then even at 15/16, how many people your age would listen to Dark Side Of The Moon?

Guess he would say music is all about sitting back and listening and taking it in

Would love to be a songwriter for the right kind of singer

unfortunately though, he’s a bit of a loner

likes his own company too much

it’s probably the solitude that motivates him to write

too many more friends than he already has would be too much of a distraction

It’s not a sad situation though

music is what Namjoon loves the most

and “nothing else matters”

Oh yes, let’s have a bit of Metallica in there too

It’s not until he finishes school that he becomes more in touch with what people in the current world of rock and metal like

discovered “Rollin’” by Limp Bizkit like WAY too many years after it came out

“Have you heard this ace song man?”

“yep... in 2004 dude”

“oh”

But he’s no ashamed or anything, no

He’s proud to be a fan of the bands he likes

even if they aren’t to everyone’s tastes

“Well, sorry if this isn’t some 3 minute long four chord song repeating the same 5 words”

If they don’t appreciate it, their loss

Jin

The old ones are the best ones

Think 50s rock n’ roll; Little Richard, Elvis, and so on

mixed with guilty pleasures of songs about ‘my baby girl’

Loves themed music nights

Whilst of course his favourites are the 50s themed ones

he also loves showing up to 60s nights to flaunt the flower power

or 80s nights in a fun wig as some member of a hair metal band

all the styles are very fun

but on a daily basis, he’s basically dresses like a teddy boy

tight trousers with white socks peaking out

jacket - sometimes a suit jacket, sometimes denim

as you can imagine, when a lot of this stuff comes back in fashion...

“Well, I did it first...”

you know, in this era he means he did it first

Loves a good finger clicker song

Once considered doing a tribute act around pubs and clubs

but he couldn’t decide who he wanted to be

Probably should take a role in some live production of Grease

he’s seen it enough times

and he can sing

He reckons he could never do theatre for long though

his fantasies are with playing instruments to perform

talented keyboard player

starting to get the hang of guitar too

but he does get carried away whilst trying to learn guitar

because he wants to add on all the cool moves NOW

He’s got some bangers he created on the keyboard though

he didn’t really intend to create original songs

it just happened one day after a break up

and he listened to Heartbreak Hotel

too many times

he just sat at his keyboard

and made something that really felt special

and then the day after that, he made a more upbeat song

and the week after that, he has 4 full songs in total

Open mic nights become something he enjoys

a bit of a local celebrity

“Would you play my grandma’s 80th party? Pleeeease?”

and aww bless him, he plays all the throwback songs at care homes

all free of charge

slips in some of his original music too

“Ooh, I’m afraid I don’t remember that one dear, must be my brain”

“Oh, no no no” explains Jin “I made it myself”

Old dears just love him basically

but so do the girls his age

Whilst some think the whole 50s get up is a bit lame

some go wild for it

because he dons all his outfits so well

and his songs feel so true to the era they were inspired by

you gain a love for the 50s just from watching Jin

Talented boy, keeping the 50s alive

Suga

A lot say Yoongi has an acquired taste

an electronic element to rock or metal always makes it more interesting to him

loves industrial music - NIN for days

Linkin Park made most of his jams

cried for half a day at the news of Chester no longer being with us

Likes a bit of new wave, synthpop, all that

emo songs just help you through the bad times okay

Can equally enjoy a dub festival as much as a rock concert

some people think his taste is actually naff

but then they realise he also listens to the likes Foo Fighters or Sum 41

Plays like the same 30 songs on repeat

but his collection has so much more

He has some rock and blues for the road trip

he’s got your 70s singalongs for the party

Was briefly a DJ at a rock bar

got fired for not playing enough popular songs in his set

“wtf I thought this was a bar where people could appreciate this” huffs Yoongi

“yes but people want to sing to ‘down with the sickness’ or something, not ‘down in the park’!”

“stuff you then, I’ll take Gary somewhere else with me”

guilty pleasure: Kate Bush

A somewhat gothic sense of style

but not overwhelmingly gothic

He likes bandannas and black clothes

not always in black clothes though

sometimes the merch he wants just isn’t available in black

but no worries

as long as he can happily flaunt the music that makes him who he is

J-Hope

Can listen to any rock genre

give him something and he probably already loves it

So yeah, the band members are pretty cool and all that

but what Hoseok has more interest in the backstage roles

he’d love to manage a rock band

be a tour manager

guitar tech

Much knowledge is stored in that brain of his

and he wants to put it to good use

He starts out as a promoter and organiser for the rock bar in town

which he eventually lives above

His events are ace

he can pick out fresh talent that everyone on that scene can enjoy

His showcase nights are the place to be

everyone can agree, he’s got amazing taste

no one can disagree with him

He’s a one man show and still managed to pull it off

he’s the promoter, the sound guy, the tech on all the instruments

way more professional than most other local music events

He takes pride in his work

did I mention he’s so good, it becomes a full time job?

As time goes by, he listens to less and less older music

but that’s okay

he’s happy with the time it takes to listen to all the up and coming bands

in the moment is where you should live

and he can still appreciate a band’s influences should they initiate conversation

“man, this dude really knows his stuff”

“will you manage our next tour?”

“can you do sound at our next gig? our guy’s rubbish”

and that one is like right in front of their current sound guy

The future is bright for Hoseok

his love for rock music could really earn him a solid living

Jimin

Some say he’s a bit of a poser in his leather jacket

but he really does love his rock music

Sometimes a bit behind on modern rock bands or releases

Low key wishes he was born in the 50s / 60s

just so he could live in his favourite eras

his heart really lies with the classics

60s, 70s, 80s.

90s at a push

not the later 90s where grunge bands did pop

actually any movie made in that time makes him cringe

like he’s all up for good clean fun

but christ it’s like they were trying to go back to the 50s or something

not everything is ‘swell’ you know

Don’t get him wrong though

he does also like some 50s music

He may or may not have spent that one time acting like Elvis in the mirror

it really hyped him up before a night out though

it may or may not have become a thing before going out in the evenings to boost his confidence

His all time favourite bands have to be The Rolling Stones and AC/DC

and no, he couldn’t pick between the two, ever

Doesn’t really have a desire to be in a band

but sort of accidentally picks up the bass to help out a mate in a band

and sort of accidentally becomes a permanent member

It’s just a cover band

but it’s so much fun

Sometimes, you can have a really bad day

and then listening to 23 people singing “I Love Rock n Roll”

kind of lifts your mood

“Play Wonderwall!”

gets a bit annoying to him

kind of wants to hit that one guy around the head with his bass

but he holds back

Because being aggressive wouldn’t be very rock of him

and whilst he does like punk music

he’s definitely not a punk

Screw all that political rubbish

music should be to enjoy yourself with

stop worrying about the world for one minute and

let’s sing about whiskey and cigarettes and just living life

“What do you MEAN you don’t know any Def Leppard songs?”

“For crying out loud!”

He tries to understand that not everyone will listen what the music he likes

“but... like seriously, how can you not though?”

Probably likes all the underrated bands

Loves vinyl

definitely collects vinyls

Likes to shop at vintage stores to fulfil his obscure taste

People are like “you paid £60 just for that?”

but to Tae, it’s worth every penny

He likes the classics too

he can sing along in a rock bar to all the well known tunes

old or modern

and there may be loads in his vinyl collection barely anyone recognises

but there’s some more familiar faces too

there’s The Beatles, Guns n’ Roses, Foo Fighters, anything like that

it’s just only like 20% of his huge collection

Whilst his style is inspired by those he idolises...

he can never copy them

that would be an insult to them and his originality

Plays guitar and writes songs

never anything soppy though

actually fairly hesitant to pick up an acoustic guitar

always plays electric

and the songs he makes are about having a good time, life experiences

but not about love

He can listen to a couple of cheesy tracks

he just won’t make any

“Who the heck is John Otway, Tae?”

“Oh, you know, Wild Willy Barrat”

“Willy who?”

“Cor baby, that’s really free!”

“....”

“Headbutts! da da da da da... Headbuttttsssss”

I feel like rocker V loves anything that feels slightly random

probably make his own secret songs that sound silly to others

Probably has a band that never gigs

it’s him singing and playing guitar

and a bassist and drummer that aren’t really sure why they’re here

but they kind of like the unique stuff he does

and the band is almost purposely bad

“It’s the imperfections that really give a song character”

Jungkook

Modern rock and metal

low key emo

Tears Don’t Fall by BFMV on repeat aged 14, his first break up

Lives for festivals

like when he goes to work, that is what he is earning money for

well, that and bills and food

has a jar for each festival he wants to go to this year

Also loves a bit of melodic punk

like when that one Australian band are finally coming to his country

he HAS to go

help me I’m really sad because this is me and The Decline were supposed to be coming to the UK and then this pandemic happened and now I might never see them criii

Has a playlist for every aspect of life

every feeling, every colour, every occasion

songs that remind him of a time, ones where he can visualise a colour...

many people don’t get it

“how many playlists?”

“how can a song be a colour?”

it just is

like come on, listen to this Red Jumpsuit Apparatus song

and tell him this doesn’t remind you of gold

Could be a journalist

knows everything and anything about his favourite bands

AVENGED SEVENFOLD

because it’s the perfect mixture of everything he loves about music

vests because M.Shadows

So badly wants to be in a band

tries every instrument you could find in a typical rock band

loves the drums

gets stuck on guitar though in his first band

well, he was just desperate to go gigging

he left after a year and a bit though

got boring

forms his own band instead around him being on the drums

Lives for this band

it’s like a rock band but with political lyrics

and they can perform at most events

they just fit any bill

gigs are booked almost every weekend

road trip with the lads

they travel like 50 miles just to be paid in beer only

Dreams of big time collaborations

that will probably never happen and he knows that

but it’s nice to dream, right?

puts on his own gigs a few years down the line

of course his own band are always on the bill

everyone thinks his gigs are a hoot

He even manages to book some lesser known punk bands

but they are a massive deal to him

“God, I love live music!”

“Do you always wear a black shirt guk?”

“Hey, I’m a drummer! It’s hard work; a lot of sweat involved... I’m sure no one wants to see my wet pits whilst trying to enjoy the show”

and then that person wishes they never asked...

but he’s right

he knows that a good band is all about the hard graft and work

and he is always so thankful for the great rock bands that influence him

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aboysbestfriendishismum · 6 years ago

Text

Chapter 51 - Elvis, the beard and Schroedinger’s kisses (Part One)

In the previoius chapter: Dina, Angie's best friend, goes to San Diego to meet her and it takes her a few hours with her and Eddie to figure out there's something between them. She tries to make her admit it when they're alone and she almost succeeds. She meets Jerry too and is surprised about how nonchalant Angie is with him despite all the bad things he did to her. At the beach party, Dina has further proof about the attraction between the two when she hears them talking on the shore, while the others left skinny dipping in the ocean. The next morning Angie has to leave to Seattle, Eddie can't believe he wasted that opportunity and didn't do anything although he had two whole days to act out his feelings. He almost kisses Angie as she sleeps but he realizes it's weird and stops. As he takes her to the bus station they have a little verbal fight when Angie jokingly tells him he needs a girlfriend and that his friend Michelle would be perfect. Exasperated by Angie's blindness towards his feelings, Eddie shuts her up with a kiss. In the meantime Angie dreams about Eddie the night before leaving and in her dream Eddie kisses her. When the kiss happens for real at the bus station, Angie loses her mind and hears the infamous "music": Just can't get enough by Depeche Mode.

***

“I’m in love again, been like this before…” maybe I shouldn’t have put that one on the tape, too blunt. Well… I just shoved my tongue in her mouth, so I’m pretty sure that it’s impossible to be any blunter than that. Just… It’s been hours and I can only assume that the stupid grin that’s plastered on my face ever since I said goodbye to Angie is still there. I look up and see myself in the mirror, humming like a poor fool. I assumed correctly, fuck. I keep on repeating in my mind all the steps of our conversation from the moment she woke up that lead to us kissing and… and stop, that’s all I can do while I throw my things in the suitcase, ready to hit the road and leave this house again, this time with a heavy heart. Yes, because whereas before my house was just some sort of depiction of my frustrations, of my loneliness and everything I hadn’t been able to be and obtain, even though I had always wanted it, now it has an added value: the memories, pleasant moments that I’ve built with the girl I love, the turn of events that has led me to declare my feelings, albeit not with words. There had been many opportunities to do that before: in each other’s arms on the sofa, in front of a bonfire at the beach, on the terrace of Pike Place Market, on top of the Space Needle, on that bench of Balboa Park, even the other night on the dancefloor, and all of those situations were certainly more romantic and appropriate; but, even so, I wouldn’t change anything about those stolen kisses at the bus station. But it must also be said that, had I made a move before, I wouldn’t have to wait a week for the second round. This morning, for a second, I thought about not letting her get on that fuckin’ bus and taking her back here at home, but Angie's got university, work and I’m not going to get between her and all the responsibilities she cares so much about. Besides I didn’t want to look like a sentimental ass. Not yet.

Somebody knocks at the door. I zip my bag, pull it over my shoulder, take one last look around – trying to memorize as much detail as possible – and then go out.

“You’re all set?” Mike flinches a little, maybe taken aback by my quick exit.

“He’s all set” Jeff, by his side, answers for me.

“I can confirm it, I’m ready to go!”

“And he’s happy too” adds the guitarist.

“Yeah” Ament nods.

“Why are you happy?” Stone appears on the stairs.

“Lemme guess: Angie didn’t leave!” McCready ventures a comment.

“She's comeing to Oakland with us!” adds my roommate.

“She follows us for the rest of the tour!”

"God, I hope she doesn't!" Stone gives Mike a nasty look then wickedly smiles at me "Somebody else thinks differently though, right?"

"The fuck are you talking about? What's with Angie?" I try and play dumb but I bet that if I still had my bedroom's mirror in front of me right now I'd see the same fuckin' smile. So I think I'm failing miserably.

"Where is she?"

"I don't really know exactly, at 7 o'clock in the morning I put her on a bus to Seattle, so I guess she's still there. Well technically it was a but to Los Angeles, then from there she had to take another to Seattle. She must already be there by now. On the second bus. I think" honestly I thought she'd call from there already, I mean, I'd have called her as soon as I could, at the first stop. What did I say about the sentimental ass? Angie's more pragmatic, more practiacl, she must have thought it was more logic to call further on during the journey, maybe halfway through. Maybe she thought I was resting before leaving and didn't want to bother me. As if it can be possible to sleep after what happened.

"Uh. She left then?" Jeff asks as if he wasn't that convinced.

"Yeah, sure"

"So why are you happy?" Gossard insists, followed by his friend.

"You should be sad"

"Haha and why? What's with those long faces? She wasn't sent to the scaffold, she's going home and we're seeing her again in one week, even less" I sound pretty convincing as I include the whole band in being sad for Angie's leaving.

"Oh well, yeah, of course..." Mike mumbles.

"And what about you leaving? Leaving San Diego? Your house? Aren't you sad about that?" Jeff goes on with the questioning.

"Sure but-" I barely try to answer but I already know it's gonna be pointless way before Stone interrupts me.

"... but, as they say, home is where the heart is, isn't it?"

"I'm not happy anyway!"

"Ha! I knew that!" Jeff exclaims, all pleased with himself with no apparent reason.

"I'm just pumped up, for the show..."

"Huh. Yes. The show, sure" Mikey's been nodding his head yes for fifteen minutes basically, I think he's been in this comatose state since last night. The only thing that prevents me from being 100% sure it's his giant mirror shades, which creat a barrier between him and the outside world.

"Well, you gotta find motivations, you know. To go on..." Jeff puts his arm around my neck and we walk down the stairs and then through the garden up to the small gate, the other two guys tagging along. "And by the way, three days pass very fast" he adds in a low voice, winking at me.

"Oh we need to go to Craig's first, I need to give him the keys for my landlady. And to tell him bye. I'll be quick" I immediately change the topic of the conversation. I wouldn't really give away this house but I can't really afford two rents.

"Be really quick, Kelly's already waiting for us." Stone calls us to order as we all get into the van "We've just got five hundred miles to go"

First ring. Ok. Second ring. Hope's still there. I realize I'm basically holding my breath. Third ring. Well, this isn't over yet, maybe there's some lag time... Fourth ring. Fuck you. I shake my head. Fifth ring. I drop the receiver maybe too hard and let my hand down, which has been covering my other ear as I was trying to isolate myself from the chaos of the Real Rock Club's backstage. Fuck the phone and Jeff's smart answering machine, which picks up after just two rings whenever there are messages to listen to. Why doesn't she call? I openly asked her to do it. Did something happen? Does she regret our kisses? Or maybe she just can't remember the number... I'm such an ass, I should have written it down for her! Is she supposed to know it by heart only because she might like me? I retrieve the change and put it back into the payphone, only this time I dial another number, not mine, trying to beat anxiety to the punch.

"Hello?"

"Hey Meg, hi" thank god she's at home, I've been spending the whole day talking to myself or to our stupid intro message on the answering machine.

"Hi Eddie! What's up? You found me by the bell, I was about to leave to work to Roxy's" that's some good luck.

"All is good, thanks. We're... we're about to get on stage for the soundcheck, in half an hour more or less"

"Cool! Are the other dorks there with you now?"

"Uhm no, it's just me on the phone actually..."

"Oh yeah, I should have known, I can't hear Stone complaining in the background" Meg tries to hide her disappointment with a joke, she'd rather talk to someone else.

"And what about you? How's it going?" I ask her 'cause I don't wanna sound like the shitty guy who just calls her to ask her about her friend.

"Fine, usual stuff. Alright, what can I do for you?" she asks without wasting any time.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I doubt you called just to ask me how I am. What did you want to tell me?"

"I called you also to know how you are"

"Eddie"

"Nothing really, I was just wondering if you had news about Angie..."

"She'll be here in Seattle tomorrow in the afternoon, right?"

"Exactly. It's just... I put her on the bus this morning and I thought that maybe, you know, she called in the meantime"

"She did, actually she called me about half an hour ago"

"Uh"

"She's already in San Francisco, they stopped there for a while. She told me that they're perfectly following the schedule so she would be here by two o'clock tomorrow"

"I see. Well, good for her, right?" come on Eddie, don't take it bad, the most important thing is she's ok, isn't it? Maybe it was a very quick stop and a lot of people had to use the phone. Or maybe she doesn't wanna talk to you, asshole.

"Yep... But are you ok?"

"Sure, why shouldn't I?"

"I don't know, you seem... strange. Did something happen?" strange? More than usual?

"No, nothing! What was supposed to happen?"

"I don't know, you tell me"

"It's just that... We agreed she'd call to update me about her journey home but she didn't, so I was just a little worried, that's all"

"How can she call you if you're out playing?"

"I told her she could leave a message... the machine is in Seattle but I can listen to it from any place, you know?" maybe I should try to be less bitter.

"Well, you know how Angie is, maybe she didn't want to disturb"

"BUT I TOLD HER SHE WASN'T DISTURBING ME AT ALL!" I raise my voice a little too much, Meg stays silent for a long while "Ehm, sorry. Hehe"

"Relax Eddie... Maybe it's that or maybe she didn't have enough change to call both and since I have to go pick her up tomorrow, she had to call me "

"Uhm yeah, it can be..." actually I didn't think about that. I didn't even ask her if she had money enough to call. Non just for me, she might need it in general, in case of emergency! I'm a fucking irresponsible guy who leaves girs at the bus station.

"Or maybe you had a fight?"

"What?!No!"

"Or the opposite?" what's the opposite of fighting?

"Ok ok, if nothing happened you've got nothing to fear. She called me for convenience. She'll call you tomorrow, don't worry"

Nothing happened. Everything happened. A lot of stuff happened. Meg's right though, I must relax. I mean I kissed Angie twelve hours ago and I'm already freaking out. I'm not at the center of the world, it's not like everything necessarily revolves around me: she's travelling, she's tired, she called her roommate for a ride, she'll call me as well as soon as possible.

"I know. It's just... Well the journey is long. I was worried. And I feel kinda respinsible, if I hadn't told her the wrong dates of our tour she'd have taken a comfortable plane and would be at home right now" I try and put it on the road safety and other shit level. I hope she buys it.

"Come on Eddie, don't blame yourself. And by the way, I believe she didn't mind extending her holiday a little longer, you know"

"Oh... ok hehe, I hope so" I loved her extended holiday, it could as well last another week. That wouldn't be enough anyway, to take her to all the places I wanted to show her, the restaurant on the beach in Las Olas, the pool room at the Casbah, all the small pieces of my world I wanted to share with her. I just wished I had more time with her to share, even just hanging out in my car, talking and doing stupid stuff; just like when we were going back home from the night out at the Yates, I pulled out the tape to turn it to side B and Love reign o'er me by the Who started playing on the radio and she started singing at the top of her lungs. And even though she was simply destroying one of my favorite songs ever, I couldn't think about anything but how perfect the word love sounded when she said it. And if I still had doubts, it only took those five minutes of song to clear up any confusion: I love her and keep on falling in love again every time i see her, I talk to her on the phone or every time I'm just waiting to do one of these two things. And each time I look at her or talk to her for a minute I find a hundred new things to love.

"Yes, Eddie, trust me! Sorry, I gotta go now, Roxy'll kill me if I'm late"

"Oh sure, I mean, sorry for bothering you anyway..."

"You didn't bother me, don't worry. I'll tell Angie to call you as soon as she arrives, ok? Or even before if I manage to talk to her in the meantime" by now she must have understood I'm desperate.

"Thank you"

"You're welcome! And good luck for tonight"

"Thanks"

*************************************************************************************************************

"Fuckin' bastards" I curse loudly against the unknown assholes who decided to create a work of abstract art with ketchup, mayo and chewing gum on the seat I've been scrubbing for hours. My colleagues started churning out various techniques to solve the matter and the kitchen split in two groups, those who claimed I needed to use ice to dry out the gum and tear it off and the ones who thought I needed to warm it up to melt it. I'm the one who has to clean it anyway!

I hear the door ring and I'm about to take all my anger out on the next pain in the ass that has just entered, who might not be responsible for this disaster, but is still a dick who can't read the sign hanging on the glass door with CLOSED written on it.

"We're clo-" I look up and see a face that disappeared for a while and looks different now.

"Hey Meg"

"Since when do you have a beard?" it doesn't look bad on him.

"Oh hehe well, I've had it for a while" he smiles and scratches his chin, unusually covered with hair, like half of his face.

"Testing a new look?" I realize just now I'm still on all fours on the seat and immediately stand up.

"The test started casually, I'd say I turned sleaziness into a look"

"You're basically getting old inside that recording studio" I joke as he comes closer and suddenly my knees are shaking.

And now it seems clear to me that I must have a screw loose, there must be something wrong in me. 'Cause I've been crying for days over Mike not getting back with me, for his decision to stay single, the first decision he's ever taken since I first met him, who never knew what he wanted and now that he finally knows, he knows it's not me. And, I mean, I'm here mourning my dead relationship with my ex, then Matt comes in and it only takes him a couple of moves to turn me into jelly and... what's Mike's surname?

"Actually we're getting old in the rehearsing studio, technically we haven't started recording for the album yet"

"And what are you waiting for?"

"Hehe to polish the demo and clear our minds better"

"Considering what I heard, your minds seem already clear enough to me"

"I can't wait to record with Ben, I think he'll bring a breath of fresh air in the album"

"I agree. So? When will you start recording it? So I can estimate how much time will pass until I see you around again..."

"Soon, in Spring... Anyway, talking about this, I really need to talk to you, Meg"

"About the album?"

"Hehe no, about me disappearing. And other stuff"

"I see. Ok, shoot"

"Uhm no, not here. Maybe when you finish working. Can I drive you home?"

No. NO. No, Meg, you can't. You can't sleep with Matt tonight. If the first time meant fucking up, a second one would be fucking up cubed. You can't fuck him whenever you've got problems with Mike. Mike McCready! That's how he's called.

"Actually I came here by car"

"You got a car? Since when?" he asks sincerely surprised.

"Probably since you got your beard, more or less"

It's past midnight, Matt and I are sitting on the hood of my Impala talking about Ballard, Mookie's... ehm, Pearl Jam's tour and about how unbearable the nurse living at the second floor is, continuously passing each other a bottle of crappy red whine.

"Why don't we cut to the chase, Matt?" I tell him at some point, making myself clearer right away "What did you want to tell me?"

"Uh yes. Well... first of all I wanted to, you know, I feel I have to apologize"

"Apologize? For what?" whatever it is, I forgive you anyway.

"For my behaviour, how I treated you after what happened, the way I handled the whole... situation in general"

Code name: Situation.

"I thought we had already sorted it out. The situation" if you talked about something you'd totally want to do again in the next fifteen minutes, would you call it Situation?"

"Not really. I mean, we just pretended it hadn't happened" he shrugs.

"And wasn't it maybe the best thing to do?" I ask my rhetorical question and he'll surely answer No, then jump over me.

"Yes, but..."

What do you mean Yes?!

"... but no" ok, that's better.

"What do you mean?" I pretend not to understand and prepare myself to the next moves of the bearded angel. Of course I can't put out right away, that's obvious, I have to put some moral resistance at the beginning.

"That I was an asshole. I realized I was really cold to you, almost cynical, I don't want you to think that... well, that what we did..."

"That the situation"

"Hehe yeah, that the situation didn't matter to me or something"

"Oh no, Matt, don't worry"

"Ok, it was something reckless and unwise"

"Not wise at all"

"Terribly wrong"

"Sure" well, terribly is a little too much maybe?

"The most stupid mistake we could have done"

"Ok" something tells me we won't have sex tonight.

"But if I did it, it's because I wanted to in that moment and not just for fun, you know. I care about you"

"I know, it's the same for me"

"We made a mistake but I don't regret it, it was a nice thing between us, don't you think?"

"Yeah... really nice" maybe we'll have sex after all.

"I'm sorry I gave you a bad impression, if I treated you bad and avoided you, it's just I didn't know what to do, how to act.

Detatching seemed the best solution and being cold with you was the easiest way"

"It's alright, Matt, really, I understood that"

"And I'm also ready to tell Mike if you want to, I want to take resp-"

"NO! Ehm, I mean, that's not necessary. You know, it's not like he can't wait to talk to me and see me already, if he knew he'd be done with me. There's no need to make a mess for nothing, it won't happen again anyway, right?" ok, will it happen or not? I want answers.

"Oh my god, no, of course!" this answer sucks. Next one, please?

"Exactly, so I think it's better to leave things as they are" can somebody explain the sense of this conversation if it's not to take me to bed?

"I told April though" I feel an explanation coming.

"April?"

"Yeah, you know her, it's a friend of Stone's..."

"Who? The girl who plays the violin?"

"Viola!"

"Well, whatever it is, they look similar anyway. But why did you tell her about us? I had no idea you knew each other, I mean, I didn't know you were familiar with her"

"We weren't that close, then we got to know each other better"

"Are you dating April?"

"No!" ah ok, thank god "We went out together sometimes, you know, we're just at the beginning" thank god my ass.

"I see" beginning of what?

"The beginning of what I don't even know, hehe, anyway, we'll wait and see"

"And why in this beginning did you end up talking about me?"

"Oh well, we were talking about exes and past experiences and I talked about you. Without telling your name, obviously! And as I was telling her about the situation, April helped me understand, she opened my eyes. Thanks to her I realized I was an asshole"

"That's good"

"She told me I should have talked it out with you. And apologize" the girl is clever, for sure, she didn't want her man to have unfinished business with other girls and suggested him a nice peacemaking speech. And a closure speech.

"Wow, well, I only know her by sight but from what you say she seems a cool girl"

"She is" Matt's look is lost far away and I've never felt so out of place in my whole life.

*************************************************************************************************************

SIDE A

Can’t help falling in love (Elvis Presley)

I want to tell you (The Beatles)

You’re all I need to get by (Marvin Gaye and Tammy Terrell)

When you dance I can really love (Neil Young)

Can’t keep it in (Cat Stevens)

Two hearts (Bruce Springsteen)

SIDE B

I wanna be your boyfriend (Ramones)

You really got me (The Kinks)

Love you more (Buzzcocks)

Here comes my girl (Tom Petty)

Thank you (Led Zeppelin)

Don’t talk (put your head on my shoulder) (The Beach Boys)

I grab the piece of paper where I scribbled down the titles of the songs in Eddie's tape and I'm about to put it away when we're almost arrived. I didn't see the sign saying WELCOME TO SEATTLE, actually I've never seen it, neither the first time I set foot here or the number of times I traveled back and forth from my new town. So I could have missed it but maybe such sign doesn't even exist. I place the paper on the backpack I'm holding on my legs and I observe the creases created by folding and unfolding it everytime I took it and put it back in its case. I read my shaky handwriting due to street holes, too heavy breaking and unexpected words. The first song startled me because Elvis was honestly the last person I was expecting to hear among Eddie's favorites, for no reason in particular, I simply never associated him to Eddie, although since then I've been mentally going through various songs by The King, thinking about how they'd sound if he sang them. I was expecting the Beatles a little more and I guessed he'd have chosen a less known song. On the Motown sound of Marvin and Tammy my jaw literally dropped, and maybe my pen too as I was writing down, because that's one of my favorite songs ever and I wasn't expecting it at all. Neil Young and Springsteen were easier to predict, just like Ramones at the opening of side B, whereas Cat Stevens was another pleasant surprise. On the word got of the song by The Kinks my pen slipped a little because as I was smiling to myself, noticing that in that case Eddie had somehow replied to my tape by selecting a different tune of a band I had chosed too, I absentmindedly started to go through all the previous titles, reading them one by one, as if they formed a single sentence, a message and... Of course not, that's bullshit, it's just casual words. When I head Buzzcocks I thought maybe side B would be the punkest and heaviest part and I wrote the title in tiny letters; then Tom Petty came and I was just wondering when he'd have placed him, followed by Led Zeppeling, who were instead making me wonder why Eddie should thank me. I didn't do anything and maybe that's where all the mess started, 'cause I did nothing but being his friend and being close to him in certain situations and maybe he feels he owes me and maybe that's the reason he did the same. And he mistake this closeness for something else. So there are two possible alternatives: either he planned everything, tape and kisses, or the tape doesn't mean shit, songs are just random songs and he only kissed me because... I don't know, because he felt like doing it. Maybe he was stoned. It's not just acids that make him affectionate. While I was pondering on this, the last song by the Beach Boys, at the right moment, almost as if they could hear me, as if they listened to my inner ranting monologue and were asking me to shut up, just like somebody else shut me up a few hours earlier, without talking. In the corner of my eye I see the outline of the Kingdome dramatically entering my field of vision on the left, briefly taking my mind off useless thoughts. I fold the paper, take the cassette from the front pocket of the backpack and put it back in, then stuff everything in the back once again.

When I get off the bus I can't feel my butt anymore, I stretch out awkwardly and I can't believe I can finally unbend my legs and walk and I don't have to get on that bus anymore. When I cross the road and see Mag waving at me through her car window I'm almost sad: I'd gladly walk all the way back home.

"Then you'll have to tell me how the fuck you survived thirty hours on a fuckin' bus" that's my roommate's salutation as soon as I throw my backpack in the trunk, then close it and crawl on the backseat.

"I don't even know, hi to you too anyway"

"Hi Angie, welcome to my taxi cab, where do you wanna go?" she jokes about me sitting in the back.

"I wanna go home to die, because it was exactly thirty-two hours and I'm even working in the evening"

"Jesus, you hate yourself so much, why didn't you ask Roxy for another day off?" she says as if it was the easiest thing, as if she didn't work there as well and didn't know how things work there.

"Having this couple of days was already some kind of gift, I didn't want to push my luck" I yawn and keel over the backseat ready to sleep.

"YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF SLEEPING NOW?" Meg's imperative voice point blank makes me open my eyes wide right when I was starting to drool on the shirt of Morpheus.

"Why not?"

"Because you gotta tell me!"

"Tell you what?" I produce a scrunchie from out of nowhere and tie my hair.

"What d'you mean what? Everything! How was it in San Diego?"

"Good"

"Good?" she insists completely turning back to look at me.

"Yeah, it was alright. Shouldn't you look at the street?"

"Alright... and then?" she goes on and follows my advice turning back towards the traffic.

"And then nothing, it all went well"

"Hahaha yeah, you really think you can get away with this"

"I think you're so kind and gentle as to postpone this conversation to tomorrow"

"Sure babe, but give me some anticipation, tell me something!"

"Stone and Jeff made a bet with the other guys about wether one of us girls would have gone see them on tour and the losers performed as a Village People tribute band in a terrible 70s disco club" I tell her all in one breath and hope I shocked her enought to prevent her from asking any more questions.

"Did you dream all of this on the bus or here in the car, in the ten seconds you had your eyes closed?"

"Haha none of those, it really happened"

"Tell me you're kidding or tell me you have photographic evidence of this thing" she turns around again intermittently, trying to figure out from the look on my face if I'm joking or not.

"I'll tell you the second one"

"OH MY GOD, I GOTTA SEE THEM"

"Look forward, Meg!"

"You'll show them to me when we get home"

"If we get home"

"Ok, I'll behave... And what about the rest?" the Village People shock wasn't hard enough.

"It was great, the show was cool, half of the crowd were Ed's friends" I remain vague, as if I didn't know where she's going with this.

"Did you meet his friends? What are they like?" she doesn't insist, she probably decided to change her strategy and indulge me at the beginning to catch me out in another way.

"They were fun. And almost all surfers"

"Uhm interesting! And what was Eddie like?" I knew that.

"Oh he was good, he's becoming a real frontman, he's not as shy as he used to be"

"Good, great. And what about him, off the stage?" I really knew that.

"What do you mean?" I yawn again and rest my head against the window.

"Yeah, you know, how did it go with him?"

"Good"

"What the fuck does good mean?! Would you please be more specific?"

"Hey, calm down! Good, in the sense he saved my life by hosting me and so on. And he took me around to see places like a tourist, me and Dina who came from L.A.!"

"She made it in the end! Was she staying at Eddie's place too?"

"No, she only came over the day of the show, in the afternoon, then left the same evening. Well, more like in the night. Almost in the morning, really, after the beach party"

"And how did the beach party go?"

"Good"

"Angie, I swear to god..."

"Good, it was a nice party! There was music, drinks, company... at some point everybody went skinny dipping in the fuckin' freezing ocean" I try and come up with anecdotes about other people, maybe it'll work in the long run.

"And did they survive?"

"Barely, but yes. Needless to say I didn't participate"

"You don't say! What about Eddie?"

"He neither, he missed the fun because he felt he had to babysit me" I ruined the fun and let his friends know I'm some kind of amoeba.

"Yeah, I can imagine. Anyway you haven't answered yet..."

"No?"

"No"

"And what was the question?"

"Are you trying to exasperate me?" no, I'm just trying not to tell you shit.

"No! I'm only sleepy, I slept too little and bad"

"How did things go with Eddie? Did something... happen? Finally?" Meg tries to meet my eye in the rearview mirrow and I awkwardly avoid her look.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't know... you spent two days with him... the house was small..."

"So what?"

"Maybe you... slept together?"

"MEG!"

"What?! You already did, didn't you?"

"How many times do I have to tell you we only slept?"

"Oh but I know, I believe you, that's why I talked about just sleeping too"

"And it was an incident anyway"

"No incidents in San Diego"

"No" nothing, apart from the lips-on collision.

"Not even a nap on the couch?"

"No, Meg"

"A little kiss on the beach under the moonlight?"

"No" do I sound convincing enough?

"Cuddling at the park?"

"Nooo"

"A small pat on your ass at the disco?"

"Haha no! At least not from Eddie. Anyway we danced toge-"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT FROM EDDIE?"

"That's a weird story. Anyway it's official: Eddie can't dance for shit even when he's sober"

"Ok, but I wanna know whose hand was it!"

"Mike Starr. Now that guy can dance"

"WHAAAAAAT?!"

"We danced just to have a laugh! Anyway he can dance for real, he told me he had taken lessons"

"Oh shit... he took ass-slapping lessons too?"

"It was an incident"

"Your life is punctuated by nice incidents, did you notice that?"

"Definitely less than the unpleasant ones, trust me"

"Anyway, you mean Eddie didn't make any move this time either? I can't believe it, he's a jerk"

"Or maybe he's just not into me, you know? You're obsessed with this"

"I see why you didn't call him"

"What do you mean?" I quickly sit up in an almost normal position. Maybe too quickly.

"Eddie called yesterday to know if I had heard anything from you, he was worried 'cause you had told him you'd call but you didn't. And now I can see why"

"But... shut up! I didn't call him because they had a show, I didn't want to bother him"

Fuck.

"Yet the guy was anxiously waiting for you to leave a message on his answering machine"

Fuck fuck fuck.

"I'll call him back later, before going to work"

"Why not now? After all you only have to tell him you're alive and good"

"Yeah, I'll see..."

"Now, let's go back to Mike Starr's hands, please"

"Meg, just shut up and drive, PLEASE"

I know why he called, it's evident: he wants to know if I'm arrived because he wants to call me. He wants to call me to talk about what happened last morning. He wants to talk about last morning to tell me it was a huge mistake and it won't happen again and he hopes this won't ruin our friendship. All things I already know myself so I'll spare him the struggle. The nap was a bad idea because I'm more tired than before, but the shower wakes me up enough for me to quickly get away from our apartment avoiding further questioning by Meg. I get on the car and I'm about to put Eddie's tape I brought with me in the car stereo. But in the end I change my mind, I put it away in the glove box with the other cassettes and turn on the radio.And I try to focus on the road and on Fleetwood Mac starting right then on the radio, but how is it I keep on hearing Depeche Mode and the touch of Eddie's fingertips on my wrists and the taste of his mouth? I'm so concentrated on driving that I'm basically on autopilot and when I find myself in the diner's parking lot I don't even know how I got there. I hold the wheel tight and butt my head lightly against it a couple of times, I don't know why, maybe trying to get Eddie out of my head literally. I guess an axe would work much better, after all it worked with Zeus and Athena. Once I'm at work there's no time to waste, a couple of minutes for my colleagues to welcome me back, a joke by Brian about my Californian mega-tan (cheeks and nosetip vaguely reddish) and I'm already serving people food. I don't mind working, at least I can distract myself and not think about anything else. The problem is I keep thinking all the same. At least until one of my tables is occupied by an old friend and that pain in the ass who sings in his band, maybe the only one who can make me forget about Eddie for five minutes. I mean the pain in the ass, not the old friend of course.

"HEY PURPLE RAIN!" the before mentioned asshole says hi with his usual smirk.

"Did Idaho go out of fashion?"

"Hi Angie"

"Hi Dave, how are you doing?"

"I'm trying to freshen up my repertoire" Kurt answers politely waiting for his turn.

"Alright, thanks. Even though I haven't bought a motorcycle yet. What about you? You look great, I like your hair!"

"Thank you. Anyway, before buying a motorbike you should release an album. And sell some copies"

"To release it we have to record it first, something we haven't started doing yet" strangely enough Kurt says something serious, normal and absolutely non sarcastic to me.

"And what are you waiting for?"

"We'll go to California in a month or so to record it. You already been there, right? Just come back from the land of the sun. By the way, how did it go?" Dave asks calmly, as much as Dave can be.

"What... how do you know I was in California?"

"Right, how do you know?" Cobain asks too, squinting at him.

"Well I came here yesterday and your colleague told me." he explains pointing at Brian, who never minds his own business, then he brings his hands forward as to defend himself "But I swear I'm not stalking you!"

"Also because in that case, I'd never lend myself to such bullshit" the blond guy adds.

"And there won't be any serenades or shit like that, I promise!"

"I told him if it happens again, he's out of the band"

"Uhm... but... to kick him out of the band he must be in the band... Have you heard Dave? It's official: YOU'RE IN THE BAND!"

"OH MY GOD! YEEEEAAAAH!" Dave high fives me and Kurt looks at us disgusted.

"I think you're in the wrong place, the open mic is at the comedy club on the other side of the road"

"Anyway... I came here 'cause I was looking for you"

"No way, really?" the singer jokes, then goes back reading the menu.

"I have to ask you something and I can assure you it's not what it seems" Dave claims defensively and how is it I've got the feeling it's exactly what it'll seem?

"Ok, shoot"

"Would you go out with me tomorrow night?"

I knew that.

#finally #thank god #pearl jam fanfiction #grunge fanfiction #eddie vedder fanfiction #eddie vedder #matt cameron #dave grohl #kurt cobain #pearl jam #nirvana #soundgarden #chapters

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bogwithanlforluck-blog · 6 years ago

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Stalker Songs, for Your Valentine

Although folks have posted online their favorite “stalker songs” from the pop/R&B category before, I don’t think we can ever get enough of these treasures. So here are some more. A lucky #13 of them, at that.

This list evolved after I heard a certain song in the car while driving recently (2019). I thought, “This is a perfect stalker song.” Of course that thought led me to ponder what other songs might make the list of “Greatest Stalker Songs” in pop/R&B music. I enlisted the support of a friend of mine, Scott (known here as “headonaplatterboy”), and together we compiled a completely incomplete list of stalker songs, which I have decided to rank according to my own thoughts, experiences, and tastes. Thus, what you see here is the work of two people who know a smattering of good music, and a whole lot of not-so-good-music, but we both believe that stalker songs happen to fall on the “good music” end of the spectrum. We both also happen to agree that this list is a perfect Valentine’s Day gift for any of you Valentine’s Day cynics out there, like Scott and myself. What do you think? Please consider the list — go online and listen to any ones you don’t know — and then add your contributions if you so desire. You can even re-order my list according to your own tastes.

13. “Hungry Like the Wolf” — Duran Duran: Here he comes, with a “howl” and a “whine,” he’s “after you”! Yes, that’s Simon LeBon of Duran Duran doing his best to nab his object of desire. Good luck, wolfman. I’ve heard that when the band originally tried to pitch this song, DJs and the like were like, “Meh,” but in the end, it became Duran Duran’s first hit, and a top 10 hit at that. The predatory nature of the song helps — it relentlessly pushes towards its goal, ever on the hunt; just like the song itself, it does not give up, stinky and all (“smell like I sound”), in its quest for the Top 40. And it made it.

12. “One Way or Another” — Blondie: Girl power, my friends! And girl-with-an-agenda-power, at that. Deborah Harry stands tall as one of the premium women in rock, and she has left a definite, blonde-colored imprint on rock history. However, in this song, she simply rocks, and she gives her listeners an idea of how determined she is. This song even has a snarky little side-bit about catching the object of her prey only to “give [it] the slip,” because she can chase it down, play with it, then dump it. Great stalking technique and certainly a plus for women turning the tables on creepy guys.

11. “I Want You” — Elvis Costello: Ouch. This one starts out as a beautiful ballad, then a couple minutes in, a jangly guitar chord changes the scene entirely. That ballad turns into a nasty, twisted, ever-obsessive rant on a love gone astray, and the singer’s need to get that love back. The chorus line “I want you” sounds so desperate and hostile towards the end that it’s hard to hear without cringing. Costello knows all the tricks on writing great songs; he does not fail here.

10. “I Put a Spell On You” — Screamin’ Jay Hawkins: Love this — perfect stalker material. The lyrics contain almost what I would think of as the FBI profile for “stalker,” but never mind that. Hawkins sings the song with sorcerous mastery — no escaping the voodoo magic here. His voice draws out the menace and the all-encompassing, Halloween-like “I’m Coming To Get You” vibe. In short, this one gives me chills, so the stalker threat is real, my friends.

9. “I Will Possess Your Heart”— Death Cab For Cutie: This song has a repetitive assuredness that kind of jangles one’s nerves (mine at least). Ben Gibbard sings nearly every line of the song as an address to his “love,” so that the song takes on an almost hypnotic effect: a siren tune that impels the listener to “believe me,” in a magical sense. The bass background tells a more sinister story — it has an ominous quality, and with the addition of the piano — the minor keys playing on top of that bass — well, something wicked this way comes, no matter the reassurances the singer conveys. Good freaky-factor there, and the band name helps.

8. “This Tornado Loves You” — Neko Case: A song that has all the innocence and earnestness of a crush behind it, except for the fact that the crush is literal: it’s a tornado that chases down the object of the singer’s favor with one of the most destructive forces on the planet. Bodies, houses, fields, livelihoods are all sacrificed in the search for that hidden someone. Case does a nice job of playing the nice girl, but in the end, she’s a tornado. One heck of a destructive stalker, there.

7. “Run For Your Life” — The Beatles: No pop/R&B “best of” list can contain a song without the Beatles, because the Beatles covered all the bases, and because they covered them expertly. John Lennon sounds utterly monomaniacal in this song — no room for argument or stepping out of line, because if so, “That’s the end, little girl.” The “little girl” characterization does not escape me; definitely Lennon weakens his prey by reducing her size and power. And the death threat that pervades this song gives it that extra “ooh, scary stalker!” edge, so kudos (yet again) to the Beatles for making the Stalker Chart with a quality entry.

6. “Don’t You Want Me” — Human League: This duet between lovers on the quits gives us the movie-version of a possessive maniac much like that in “Run For Your Life” who cannot conceive of the fact that his girlfriend is hitting the high road. A whole story appears here: the woman admits that the stalker helped turn her from a waitress into a star, but in her attempt to leave him and “live her life on her own,” her onetime savior turns stalker. He sings, “You know I don’t believe you when I hear that you won’t see me/….You’d better change your mind/ You’d better change it back or we will both be sorry!” The man’s hysteria increases as the song goes along, and as listeners, we get a bit frightened for the young woman’s future. Good stalking here; well done in duet-form — also a great, classic dance-tune that reached #2 in the U.S.

5. “Little Red Riding Hood” — Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs: This song gets a hundred gold stars for various moments of glory throughout. Sam the Sham goes for high drama in his delivery of the song, for one thing. At first, he sounds just like a cool guy on the street seeing a pretty woman pass by — “You sure are looking good” sung to a slinky, Kool Kat beat — and he goes on to warn this lady that a big, bad wolf might try to snatch her. Then Sam goes on to inform her that he’s not the bad wolf, at least not outwardly: he’s got his sheep-suit on, until he can be trusted. And then, somewhere thereafter, he turns ‘Baaaad” (sung like a sheep). C’mon, people, this song is genius, and a near-perfect example of stalker self-delusion in its proud revelation of the creep’s expert methods.

4. “(I Am) Superman” — REM: Admittedly, this is the song that started me doing some stalking of my own: i.e., finding the best stalking songs I could imagine (with the help of Scott). So, REM gets a relatively high ranking here because their stalking prowess is readily evident in this song. Every phrase of the music ends in a full stop, with the effect that listeners just cannot deny the dominance of this self-professed Superman. Written and delivered with such confidence and finality, I find it hard to argue that Michael Stipe is not Superman here. And he can see everything, the stalking madman. That’s a strong declaration, but I believe it.

3. “Vehicle” — Ides of March: You want a stalker song that has it all? “Vehicle” is your Uber, no pun intended. This song includes a go-for-broke introduction with a fantastic horn blast, plus a beat to get down to, but don’t forget: there’s danger here. This song brings us the “friendly stranger in the black sedan” (sounds like a hearse to me) who’s putting on the breaks beside you, rolling down the window, and trying to get you in that car with “pictures, candy” and the “lovable man” driving. Yikes! However, let’s be reverent. This is a religious stalker, because, as he puts it, in near gospel-like vocalization: “I want you; I need you; I want to got to have you child: Great God in Heaven you know I looooove you!” Bang!

2. “14th Street” — Laura Cantrell: Ha! Do not be fooled by the sweetness and shyness conveyed in this song. Despite the beautiful melody and Cantrell’s gentle, charming vocals, listeners cannot ignore the fact that “14th Street” is about a woman following her object of desire stealthily down the road. Sounds like stalking to me. The song makes it all the way to #2 on my list because it describes the potential stalker in all of us: at some points in all our lives, we just want to know what those whom we love are doing, but we don’t want them to know that we want to know.

1. “Every Breath You Take” — The Police: This is the G.O.A.T. of stalker songs because it is so sneaky. Sting may not have written it as a veiled love song, but it came out that way, to the extent that the public in 1983 snatched it up as one of the most romantic pieces of all time. Frequently played at weddings, unendingly played on the radio, one would not believe, perhaps, that this song is about a jealous lover surveilling his ex. Because the stalker’s guilt is so completely masked by the beautiful melody and seemingly loving, protective lyrics, this song ranks as the #1 stalker song on my list — it is the most successful stalker song, because to this day, it remains undercover as a favorite love song.

NB: I have left out several great songs -- some music-expert friends suggested a couple of George Jones songs, though since I am sticking to Pop/R&B, Ol’ Possum isn’t on my list -- but his stalking expertise is worth notice. Just let me know what you think of the list; what you’d add. It’d be great to cue up all these monsters on Valentine’s Day to provide the soundtrack for the holiday!

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stevecanmakeanythingnerdy · 5 years ago

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Rrws7-1

Battle #1

Ok, here we are again, again. Another season (#7 somehow !!?!?) of randomness, records, and working out. By now, you know the drill! But let’s just assume you are joining us for the first time. Records get pulled from my collection at random, matched up and pitted against each other. Highest calorie burner per minute wins. Admittedly it’s probably less about the working out and more about the music for me, but through talking about music, it keeps me motivated to try and be healthy. It’s really a win-win for me...and hopefully you if maybe you learn of some cool , uhhh “new” music or just like reading my anecdotes. Anyhow, let’s jump right into it!! It’s time for another exciting season! It’s time for RANDOMRECORDWORKOUTSEASONSEVEN

The Nervous Eaters: S/T ( Side 2 )

Vs.

Superchunk: What A Time To Be Alive ( Side A )

The Nervous Eaters: S/T ( Side 2 )

Aside from the clever name (well, I think it’s clever anyway) who are these guys? From their wiki “one of Boston's first punk/new wave bands, debuted in early 1977 with Steve Cataldo on vocals and guitar, Robb Skeen on bass, and Jeff Wilkinson on drums. They had used the name some years earlier, but had not performed live under it. As their original name, the Rhythm Assholes, they had backed local rock legend Willie Alexander on his single "Kerouac" and in concert. WISELY, and after a name change, they made their debut at the hub of the city's alternative music scene, the Rathskeller—known as the Rat—in January 1977. Their first single, "Loretta", appeared that year on the club's Rat label”. Rhythm Assholes??!?! I mean, punk but not the smartest choice. Nervous Eaters is sooooooooooooo much better. They recently were active again with some original members involved. “Get Stuffed” starts off Side two and it goes on every Thanksgiving mix I have ever made. It’s quick, catchy and poppy rock oriented riffs. That’s followed quickly by “Girl Next Door” another radio friendly blast that could have been a single of The Romantics level caliber. Definitely the latter meets The Knack. “Last Chance” is a slower mix with some delightful discordant chords. “Hooked” (track #4) is even slower somehow but in that awesome slow dance B Side way. Jangle elements that recall a The Records (“Starry Eyes”, etc). “Out on a Date ( She Said No)” is a fun riff that recycles and roller coasters the whole song making for a Merry-go-round trip. It actually seems to have a circus vibe. “She’s Got The Kind of Love” is another poppy attention grabber. This go around Elvis Costello makes his influential presence known. Side notes: I love the embossed and die-cut “teeth bitten” cover. It adds a pretty humorous element. It’s straight up power pop 80s. The band consists of a great rhythm section (not assholes #seewhatididthere ) very tight and melodic with some real inventive hooks. Firmly rooted in power pop, but resting it’s foot in blues territory also.

Superchunk: What A Time To Be Alive ( Side A )

Superchunk is an American indie rock band from Chapel Hill, North Carolina, United States, consisting of singer-guitarist Mac McCaughan, guitarist Jim Wilbur, bassist Laura Ballance, and drummer Jon Wurster. They formed in 1989, and they were one of the bands that helped define the Chapel Hill music scene of the 1990s. Their energetic, high-velocity style and do-it-yourself ethics were influenced by punk rock. So much so that they even formed their own label with intention to release their own albums (Merge). The label was so popular that they ended up making it a full time thing. The band has had a long and vibrant career with very few line up changes. This is their first album in 5 years and in my opinion it was worth the wait. I have yet to see them live and they’re one of the few bands on my list I can say that about. Short and sweet which is Mac and Company’s m.o. Good music, REALLY good music just doesn’t age, it sounds fresh and Superchunk have that down. They have never faltered in their consistency and dedication. “What A Time To Be Alive” is not only the album’s title, but lead off track of course. It’s poppy as a bag of pop corn and just as tasty. Love the harmonies and brilliant screaming solos. How does this band maintain!? They haven’t lost a beat over the years. You know the song is good if they name the whole album after it! “Lost My Brain” is another energetic burst of power pop punk. Quick, catchy, quality. “Break The Glass” is one of the singles, I believe, and a pretty funny video to go along with. Well, kind of humorous...the truths it’s based on are somewhat cringeworthy honestly. Truths hurts (#seewhatididthere). In case of emergency, break the glass!! “Bad Choices” slower, for this album anyway, but still powerful. SC’s Mac has the perfect voice for this band. It’s tiny but big. High but hefty. What I’m trying to say is that he really hits the needed parts and nails the execution. In every possible way his voice is a signature piece of their sound. The musical richness of the underbelly is also amazing. This band is really next level on the musicians front. “Dead Photographers” continues right down that same path. Another insightful bliss-riff fueled picture...perhaps taken by a Dead Photographer (#seewhatididthere). This really is an example of a band doing the right things at the right time all the time. Much respect and love for the Superchunk

Nervous Eaters: “Get Stuffed”

https://youtu.be/91bYwfJsPLU

#Randomrecordworkoutseasonseven

#Randomrecordworkout

#randomrecordworkout #randomrecordworkoutseason7 #nervous eaters #superchunk #merge records #vinyl #80s music #90s music #records

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rockrevoltmagazine · 5 years ago

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INTERVIEW: MYLES KENNEDY OF ALTER BRIDGE

Formed in the early part of this century Myles Kennedy (lead vocals, guitar), Mark Tremonti (lead guitar, vocals), Scott Phillips (drums) and Brian Marshall (bass) of Alter Bridge are making another major contribution to keeping rock and roll alive and well with their sixth studio release Walk The Sky. I had the opportunity to talk with Kennedy about the strong reception of Walk The Sky, the challenges that came with making their latest effort, his first encounter with Mark Tremonti, who he would like to collaborate with and the impact of fame on his personal life.

RockRevolt: Congratulations on the number one rock album Walk The Sky, how does that sound?

Myles Kennedy: Yeah, pretty awesome. Surprising and cool. Not complaining.

RR: And over the pond number four in the UK as well as top five in some other European countries. The album is being well received what do you attribute that to? Feels like the fan base keeps growing.

MK: Yeah I think that after 15 years of establishing the quote/unquote brand I guess that people have continued to not only support what we do and comeback and express interest but also it seems to be growing. Seems like they’re telling friends and friends are telling friends. That’s a great position to be in especially after doing this for over a decade and a half. I wasn’t sure how this was going to roll-out and we were pretty blown away with the reception.

RR: That brings me to my next question, Walk The Sky is a bit of a departure from past Alter Bridge albums. Were you at all nervous whether the fans would accept it or not? It is a bit different.

MK: I think it was a needed change. One thing we didn’t want to do was continue to make the same record. So we chose to mix things up, even from the way we wrote the songs. These tracks primarily Mark and I would demo the tracks separately whereas before we would do a lot more collaboration. That was an interesting experience in of itself. We’re happy with how that turned out. We felt like the sonic hallmarks were still there, what we’re known for with our fans. We didn’t want to necessarily alienate people and have them feel like what are they doing here. We wanted to make the record that still injected the riffs and the melodies that the fans have come to expect. It’s always a delicate dance when making a record you want to evolve and change things just enough to show that you’re not being complacent. At the same time there’s going to be some risk there and you have to be cognizant of that. I feel like we landed on our feet.

RR: Most fans know that between Mark and yourself you do a large majority, if not all the writing. Where does Brian and Scott plug-in to the whole creative process?

MK: To me they don’t get enough credit. I feel like as a rhythm section they have something that is very unique that only they do which is the feel. Really where they both feel the downbeat. There’s a pocket when those two play together there is very unique and really helps define this band. Mark and I bring in the songs but they provide a certain backbone that if it was any other rhythm section it would really shift the sound of this band dramatically in my opinion.

RR: How about Michael “Elvis” Baskette, how much does his say influence the record. And how far does his say go when making a record?

MK: He’s our honorary fifth member, he’s our George Martin. He’s the last filter. So when we are trying to figure out which songs are going to make the cut. When we are trying to figure out how the arrangement is going to be settled in the end he has the last word. He’s able to have that thirty-thousand foot view of things. A lot of times the band will be too close to the songs to be able to see the forest through the trees and he’s the perfect guy for that to help us navigate into the final phase. He’s a tremendous asset to the band.

RR: Prior to making this record did you listen to any particular bands or style of music that may have had some influence?

MK: On this record nothing jumps out. You go through phases as a writer that you might listen to something a little more than you normally would. You know I learned something, it was a really profound statement that Jerry Harrison, he was the guitar player for the Talking Heads, he produced the very first Mayfield Four record back in ’97. I remember OK Computer was just getting ready to drop by Radiohead and I was so excited, I couldn’t wait to get that record and he told me something that really stuck with me. He said I want you to hold off on getting that record and listening to it until we’re done with this Mayfield Four record. What will happen is it will really become such an influence if you’re not careful you’re not going to be your true self as an artist. That really hit home for me. That was probably the best advice anyone had ever gave me. You want to go in with a clear palette and not be absorbing too much of any artist and be yourself.

RR: Is there a song on Walk The Sky you are most proud of? A song that may have been challenging to create?

MK: There are a few. I think that “In The Deep” took a little while to get settled. That’s like the second or third song on the record. It was a little bit of a departure especially the verses. There was a lot of experimenting that went on there. I’m real happy with how that one turned out. I feel like it has a real uplifting vibe to it. It just makes me feel good when I hear it.

RR: How about a song from the new record that could be difficult to play live?

MK: Yeah, I was just actually rehearsing “Native Son” the other day and to try and sing and play that will be a bit of a challenge. I wrote the riffs I remember I didn’t have a melody yet so when I did the demo for the music I wasn’t thinking about how I was going to sing and play the verses. So the other day I tried it for the first time and was like oh man what have I done. Sing myself into a corner here.

RR: So is there a chance we hear it live?

MK: I think we’ll definitely do that one live, seems to be a fan favorite. We’ll definitely get that one in the set.

RR: Speaking of live you just wrapped this leg of the U.S. tour. What’s next for the tour, how long do you plan to tour this record and will you be back stateside?

MK: Yeah we’ll be out for at least the next year touring anywhere that will have us. Coming to a birthday party near you (laughing). We’ll definitely be back in the states at some point next year.

RR: I was a little disappointed to not see Alter Bridge announced as one of the headliners for the UK Download Festival. What’s going on with that, I figured at some point you would be taking one of the headline slots.

MK: (laughing) always a bridesmaid never a bride. It’s actually fine with me. I think I’m the only guy in the band that isn’t pushing to headline Download. I like the slot just before the headliner goes on (which Alter Bridge have held on multiple occasions). Then you can relax and have a gin and tonic while the headliner is on.

RR: Are you doing the festival circuit overseas?

MK: Yeah, that’s the plan.

RR: Do you recall the first time you met Mark and were there creative sparks right away?

MK: The funny thing is when we first met it was when the Mayfield Four was opening for Creed. We met in the cafeteria. I was leaving the cafeteria and Mark was walking in, in the basement of the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. It was like a real brief, hey and fist bump or something. There was no real hanging out or anything. I hung out more with Scott Phillips (Alter Bridge and at the time Creed drummer) then any of those guys. So that was the only guy I got to know.

RR: When you get the call from Mark that he’s putting this band together and we want you to be the singer what’s your initial thoughts?

MK: I was pretty surprised because I didn’t even know I was on their radar. I didn’t even know that they heard us even when we were opening for them. I assumed we were the first band on the bill, just getting started, trying to make a name for ourselves. I was really blown away that five years later they chose to give me a buzz. I was pretty shocked.

RR: Do you jump right at the opportunity?

MK: Once they sent some demos and I heard those I thought this could be cool, a good fit. We didn’t mess around, I got down there about a month after I got those demos, we started working on what would become One Day Remains, it was pretty quick.

RR: How about with Slash, how did that all go down and what was it like first getting together with him?

MK: Once again it was a really big surprise. I think it’s because I live in Spokane, WA and I’m not really in the thick of it down in LA or New York so when a heavy hitter like Slash gets your number and calls you, you’re kind of scratching your head going how did this happen. I was grateful non the less. He asked if I would be interested in doing something on his first solo record, sent me a demo of some music and I put the melody and lyrics to what would end up being “Starlight.” Flew down to LA a few weeks later and we cut the track. It was a trip getting to hang in the studio and talk, watch how he worked. It was a really cool experience.

RR: With Guns N Roses back together have you had the opportunity to meet Axl?

MK: I haven’t. I have not had the opportunity to do that at this point. It would be really cool though.

RR: Was curious if he might have had any feedback on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame performance. What was that experience like being able to perform at the Rock Hall of Fame with some of the Guns N Roses guys?

MK: I’ll tell you what that performance was probably the most nerve-racking experience of my life. I honest didn’t think it would happen. I thought that I would get there and at the last minute Axl might show up and they would all get on stage and do their thing. I remember looking over at the stage door as they were doing their speeches, getting their award and I kept looking at the door thinking Axl is going to show up at any minute. I really didn’t think that I was going to go out there. Then all of a sudden I hear the crowd clap and see them go to grab their instruments and I remember thinking to myself this is actually going to happen (laughing). It was a trip.

RR: Anyone out there that you would love to collaborate with?

MK: Oh man there’s so many guys out there that I respect. I’m a massive Gary Clark Jr. fan, I think he’s incredible. I love Rival Sons, Jay Buchanan is one of my favorite singers, love Jay. I could just go on and on. I’m such a fanboy. I love the Gojira guys.

RR: Gojira, I recently read an interview with you and you stated Gojira is one of the most important metal bands right now.

MK: Yeah, it’s subjective. For me I’d say Gojira and I would say Mastodon as well are my two favorites.

RR: I’m sure this won’t be easy but give me your top five records.

MK: Top five records period, of all time for me?

RR: Yes.

MK: Grace by Jeff Buckley, Highway to Hell by AC/DC, What’s Going On by Marvin Gay, Ingenue by k.d. lang and lets throw in something heavy Van Halen I, not really heavy but it’s bad ass.

RR: Has fame got to a point with you that it’s difficult to go out in public? Or are you relatively unnoticed?

MK: I go absolutely unnoticed and I love it (laughing). It’s great. I can do whatever, it’s awesome. My wife and I just went on a walk and we were talking about how we have a great wonderful existence because I can go out and tour and make music. Then I can comeback home and have a very fulfilling regular life. It’s awesome.

RR: One last question, I’m curious every time I see you onstage, in interviews or in person you always seem to have this very upbeat, laid-back personality. Do you ever get pissed off?

MK: Oh sure, I’m human I’ve got plenty of flaws but I try to balance it with staying positive and being grateful.

RR: Well I’d have to say you’re one of the nicest guys in rock and roll and fans appreciate that and we appreciate the latest record, Walk The Sky, another monster hit by Alter Bridge. Any final words for the fans?

MK: Just a sincere thank you for embracing the new record and have made it so we can continue to make music. We are beyond lucky, we applaud you for it, thank you.

RR: Thank you Myles and good luck with the tour and new album Walk The Sky.

MK: Sounds great Brett thanks brother.

INTERVIEW: MYLES KENNEDY OF ALTER BRIDGE was originally published on RockRevolt Mag

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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

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6 Famous People Whose Origin Stories Are Dark Secrets

Nobody expects celebrities to actually be exactly the way they portray themselves publicly. Bruce Willis doesn’t go around killing terrorists every day (that probably happens, like, every other weekend). When you’re famous, it’s understood that you’ll have to bullshit a little and cultivate an image that appeals to your audience. But some do less cultivating and more top-to-bottom renovations. It’s always shocking when famous people turn out to be the complete opposite of what they’re famous for. And that’s the case with …

Kid Rock Was Born Rich And Grew Up In A Huge-Ass Mansion

No “celebrity goes into politics” story will ever be weird again, but the announcement that Kid Rock might run for Senate still managed to turn a few heads. After all, his biggest claim to fame was supposedly spending a summer “trying different things … smoking funny things,” and based on his ability to rhyme “things” with “things,” he surely has no better than an eighth-grade education, right?

Rock wants us to think he’s some rough-and-tumble country boy, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. His childhood home in Macomb County, Michigan recently sold for nearly $1.3 million, which we’re reasonably sure would be enough to buy whole towns around there. It turns out that his dad owned two luxury car dealerships and made some not-insignificant amounts of money.

Romeo High School “Your little rec center shall make a great showroom for our Bentleys. Papa will be most pleased.”

Mr. and Mrs. Rock’s “four-bedroom, four-bath, neo-Georgian colonial house” is over 5,000 square feet, has an indoor Jacuzzi, amenities out the wazoo, and the property itself contains an apple orchard. Rock has tried to flaunt his down-home country style and use it to smear politicians as “out of touch.” That doesn’t have the same gravity now that we know his past.

Adam Serwer/Twitter That’s a sad burger for so many reasons.

Rapper Rick Ross Was A Prison Guard

Florida rapper Rick Ross is best known for his songs about nonstop hustling and pushing it to the limit (“it” being all of the drugs). Hell, he got his name from a drug kingpin. That’s why it was kind of a shocker when it came out that Ross was a corrections officer (read: prison guard) prior to getting into the rap game.

After the story broke about his previous life of literally the opposite of crime, Ross originally denied it, but somehow the media managed to get ahold of pay stubs that proved it. For about two years in the mid-’90s, he worked as a CO in Florida. Granted, that makes him more of a badass than being a CO in, say, Terre Haute, Indiana, but it didn’t help his street cred any.

Florida Department of Corrections, Maybach Music Group His earliest songs were about how much he hated that Urkel kid who kept visiting his house.

Even 50 Cent took a jab at Ross in a rap to point out how dumb it was for Rozay to keep acting like he was something he wasn’t. After all, if you’re only learning about smuggling drugs and weapons from someone else’s case file instead of doing it yourself, can you sincerely say your raps come from the heart?

Probably thanks to some magical PR whiz, Ross finally owned up to his past. Rather than dismiss his old job as some kind of phase, he managed to call it a “hustle” in its own right. (We’re beginning to think that absolutely anything can be a hustle as long as one declares it so.)

Ron Jeremy Was A Special Education Teacher

Lots of people watch porn — about 67 percent of you are only reading this while you wait for some to load. Even the “casual” viewer can probably name a fair number of lady porn stars, but for some reason, about the only male porn actor most people can identify is Ron Jeremy. He’s been the mustachioed face of videotaped boning for decades, but believe it or not, that wasn’t really his Plan A.

On an episode of Judge Pirro, Jeremy admitted that his background was in theater, and that he’d gone on to get a master’s degree in special education. As in working with disabled kids.

Jeremy is happy to talk about his educator past, and always considered his teaching degree his fallback option, or “ace in the hole” (that’s probably not the only thing he’s called that). He majored in theater in college, and much like theater majors of today, he went and tacked on an education degree “just in case.”

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drippeddaily · 7 years ago

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Album of the Year 2017 #18: 2 Chainz - Pretty Girls Like Trap Music

Artist: 2 Chainz

Album: Pretty Girls Like Trap Music

Listen:

YouTube

Spotify

Apple Music

Google Play Music

TIDAL

Album Background

”It's always these beautiful girls who like this hustler – who you think would be attracted to a whole other type of music. But they like Migos, Future. You get with this girl, and you want to play Bryson Tiller. But she's like, "I want to hear Gucci." Shit. We're the pop stars. Trap rap is pop now. People's ears have adjusted to what we have to say and how we say it.”

-2 Chainz, Rolling Stone interview, June 2017

In July of this year, it was reported that hip hop and R&B music had officially surpassed rock ‘n’ roll as the most popular genre of music in the United States. Personally, I feel like rock had already been dethroned years ago and that rap’s dominance was only now made apparent by the implementation of streaming into the Billboard charting system, but nonetheless the shift has sparked debates over the relevance of the musical styles of generations past with millennials who, having grown up with rap and adjusting to it at a young age in a way their parents hadn’t, have essentially claimed the genre as the music of their generation. In the same way that my father’s generation chose Elvis and the Beatles over Frank Sinatra and the like, someone like 2 Chainz could be argued to have a more powerful hold on the youth culture of today than anyone with a guitar.

Like most people, my first experience with the man born Tauheed Epps was the Lil Wayne featuring “Duffle Bag Boy”, though as it was credited to Playaz Circle I didn’t realize it at the time. The rapper formerly known as Tity Boi made the shift to 2 Chainz not long thereafter, and by the time he released his T.R.U. Realigion mixtape in 2011 he was certifiably one of the hottest up-and-coming rappers in the world, a full decade and half after he’d started his career. The year after he released his major label debut Based on a T.R.U. Story, a platinum selling album in a pre-streaming era (no easy feat) with three major hit singles. History would dictate that Mr. Chainz would be able to ride off the success of this album to further hits and commercial viability in the years to come, and while his string of golden features on others’ tracks continued to flourish, his own solo material began to falter. B.O.A.T.S. II was released one year after its predecessor but sold less than half as many copies and failed to produce a top 40 single. For the next few years Tity released a few mixtapes and EPs, along with a collaborative project with Lil Wayne, but nothing seemed to resonate with audiences like his material in the early part of the decade had.

Suddenly, however, it became apparent that as trap music became more and more engrained into the mainstream consciousness, so too did 2 Chainz’s popularity begin to get a second wind of sorts. This is adeptly referenced in the title to his third studio album Pretty Girls Like Trap Music: it’s a testament to how far rap has come in its mission of taking over the airwaves in recent years and how, while the young women of yesteryear’s generation may have been more enamored with artists who were strictly pop, the more melodic style of trap music that has infiltrated the game this decade has taken pop’s place as the go-to music for the youth.

The general consensus surrounding 2 Chainz up until now was that he worked better as a feature and/or “punchline” rapper than a legitimate album artist. 2 Chainz perhaps recognized that, having fallen from his peak hype levels in the first half of the decade, he needed to put out something truly special to keep people interested in his music. As such, he chose to downplay the more humorous aspects of his verses on Pretty Girls and instead focus on the grittier, drug dealing aspects of his upbringing, along with the usual foray into pussy, money, weed and braggadocio that is almost a requirement for mainstream rap nowadays. He enlisted the help of prior collaborators Mike Will Made-It and Honorable C.N.O.T.E. to provide beats, alongside newcomers such as Murda Beatz and Buddah Bless and industry legends like Pharrell and Mike Dean, amongst others. There’s also a “who’s who” of 2017 mainstream rap on the features list, with Drake, Migos, Travis Scott, Swae Lee, Nicki Minaj, Gucci Mane, Ty Dolla Sign and others all making appearances. He also utilized a unique promotional tactics for the record: he rented a “trap house” in Atlanta that he had painted completely pink and donned it with the album’s logo on the front, and also ran a “trap salon” for girls to get their nails done with song titles inspiring the designs.

Pretty Girls ended up becoming one of the biggest sleeper hits of the 2017 summer rap season. It sold over 100,000 album equivalent units in its first week in the United States and garnered 2 Chainz the highest critical praise he had received in his career up to that point. Less than 3 months after its release, it had been certified gold, his first RIAA certified record since his platinum selling debut. Pretty Girls has produced a run of hit singles that were mainstays on rap stations this year, and the album has been considered nothing but a success for Mr. Chainz.

But is it actually any good?

Review

Pretty Girls Like Trap Music begins with a few rapid piano hits and, ironically enough, a blazing guitar line that would be feel more at home in the rock music that trap artists like 2 Chainz had helped displace at the top of the charts. Tity uses the opener to reminisce about his past and the things he’s done to get him to where he is today. The subject matter fits the Mike Will production nicely and overall this serves as a great way to start the album off.

The title of the following track “Riverdale Rd” is a reference to a street in Atlanta, 2 Chainz’s hometown. The beat almost sounds like a trap reinterpretation of the Psycho soundtrack, courtesy of DJ Mano. Similar to the song preceding it, Tity makes reference in his lyrics to his younger days of hustling and drug dealing and how it contrasts with his life in the present day. This is undeniably one of the hardest tracks on the album.

“Good Drank”, the first official single that had previously appeared on 2016’s Hibachi for Lunch mixtape, follows next. This was the first song I’d heard off the project and it quickly became an obsession, mostly due to the damn near perfect synth lead that opens the song. The patented Mike Dean Magic™ is all over this thing: a beautiful concoction of drums and melodies that stick to your ear and refuse to leave. 2 Chainz’s verse follows the standard for what the majority of the album’s content will ultimately consist of: money, cars and drug dealing. Quavo’s hook is infectious (the “Nooo-ooo-ooo” melodies following the “no hot box” line are great in particular) and Gucci’s verse, while nothing spectacular, fits with the track.

The Travis Scott-featuring “4 AM” follows, with production from 2017’s most breakout producer Murda Beatz. Placing this woozy instrumental directly after “Good Drank” was a solid move as they almost feel like compliments to one another. Tity harkens back to the past again, “reminiscing ‘bout the trap, playin’ the first Carter” and references the projects he’s put out since B.O.A.T.S. II, namely a series of EPs and his collaborative project with Lil Wayne from the year before. La Flame’s performance on the chorus is pretty standard for him but given how awesome he generally is on hook duty this isn’t really a complaint. Could’ve benefitted from an actual verse from Travis but this is solid nonetheless.

“Door Swangin’” boasts the first of four Buddah Bless productions on the album. Pretty standard trap stuff on this one, both in terms of lyrics and music. The running theme of the album seems to be drug dealing first and foremost and that stays true here. The strings that come in from time to time sound really good too, but overall this one comes off as just decent.

The Nicki Minaj collaboration “Realize” follows next. To be honest, it’s getting difficult to write anything significant about 2 Chainz’s lyrics at this point. They fit the production and his voice and presence is commanding as ever, but the topics stick almost exclusively to talking about drugs, cars, money, etc, which can become tedious to write about after a while. The line at the end of his verse taking a shot at mumble rap was admittedly hilarious, though. Nicki’s hook goes well with the chilled out vibe of the production and her verse isn’t too bad either. Not incredible but it gets the job done.

With “Poor Fool” Mike Will Made-It continues to prove why he is in the upper echelon of hip hop producers at the moment with keyboard plinks in the beat that sound like a malfunctioning children’s toy and brooding synth lines underneath. Swae Lee hops on the chorus and it’s one of the best on the record, further cementing himself as one of the best go-to rappers for a hook right now. Swae and Chainz reference how their mothers reacted to their sons dealings in the street, even though the money they would have been earning through their hustling ways was what was helping to keep food on the table. All in all this shit bangs; a definite highlight.

“Big Amount” originally dropped on 2 Chainz’s 2016 mixtape Daniel Son; Necklace Don and the success of the track prompted him to include it on Pretty Girls as a bonus track for the digital version. Buddah Bless’s contribution is significantly better than the preceding “Door Swangin’”: as far as I can tell, this was one of the first contributions to the flute rap trend that wound up dominating most of 2017. Some of Chainz’s best lines on the album end up here (the “Shawty ride like an equestrian” line kills me every time) and Drake’s contribution works really well too. A solid track all around.

Arguably the biggest single off the album, “It’s a Vibe” was a staple on hip hop stations this year and it’s not hard to see why. Murda Beatz’s smooth mid-paced production features irresistible guitar licks and 2 Chainz flows over it flawlessly, lending one of his best verses on the album to this track. Ty Dolla Sign, Trey Songz and Jhene Aiko provide vocals to flesh things out. In comparison to the other singles I’d probably take “Good Drank” and “4 AM” over this one, but that just comes down to personal preference; it’s still a chill ass song regardless.

Honorable C.N.O.T.E. provides an absolutely gorgeous backdrop on “Rolls Royce Bitch”, once again employing the use of guitar. Next to “Good Drank” and two other tracks to be mentioned later, this may be my favorite beat on the entire record. Tity starts the track telling the listener to believe in themselves first and foremost and if they they can make their dreams come true. The rest of the record is spent describing his wealth and how he came to acquire it. This is an absolute pleasure to listen to and an easy highlight.

“Sleep When U Die” is another Buddah Bless production; this one sounds closer to “Door Swangin’” than “Big Amount”. Tity compares his clothing to Ric Flair’s and his hair to James Brown’s. Pretty standard trap here; nothing more to say.

Without even realizing it I sort of knew instinctually that “Trap Check” was probably a Buddah Bless beat before I checked the production credits, and sure enough that turns out to be the case. Again, this stuff is pretty middle-of-the-road as far as 2017 trap goes until the last 30 seconds, where the beat switches to the furious horns of T.I.’s “ASAP”, a welcome switch-up that finishes the track off nicely. More of the same content from Tity on the lyrical side of things, though the “I ain’t talkin’ Nike when I’m talkin’ bout a check” line always manages to get a smile out of me.

“Blue Cheese��, featuring rap’s hottest trio at the moment, boasts what is arguably the best beat on the entire album. K Swisha laces the track with a bed of hypnotizing synths that completely envelop the listener; the effect always gives me a feeling of being underwater for some reason. Quavo’s chorus here is just as irresistible as “Good Drank” was and everyone plays their part to make the song a success. There is one complaint to be made with this track, however: Tity only gets one 45 second verse at the start with Quavo, Offset and Takeoff dominating the rest of the cut. It feels more like a Migos song featuring 2 Chainz than the other way around, which is disappointing given it’s supposed to be a 2 Chainz album, but I digress.

Tity decides to go on an “OG Kush Diet” on the next track to cope with the death of his close friend (at least for the chorus, anyway; the verses revert back to his usual braggadocios, materialistic style). Production on this one is decent to start, but things change halfway through where the beat has a reggae-tinged switch-up to keep things interesting. The pitch shifting on 2 Chainz’s voice at the end of the track is a nice touch also.

Next we’ve got the Pharrell Williams-produced “Bailan”, and goddamn this shit is smooth! 25 years on and Skateboard P is still a genius behind the boards. This goes over a lot better than their previous collaboration “Feds Watching”: whereas that cut felt like a misguided attempt at Pharrell adjusting himself to 2 Chainz’s typical production style, the roles are reversed on this cut and, surprisingly enough, Tity sounds great over this despite it being a lil outside of his usual territory when it comes to production choices. A full length 2 Chainz-Pharrell collaboration would be more than welcome if the results stay consistent with this one.

The album saves the best for last with “Burglar Bars”, a poignant cut that feels more “traditionally” hip hop than anything else on the record. Near the end of the song Tity describes it as “soulful trap music” and his assertion couldn’t be any more on point. It’s a beautifully produced gem of a track from M16 and Mike Dean, sampling Barbara Jean English’s “You’re Gonna Need Somebody to Love You”, with Monica providing backing vocals along with the intro and a closing verse. 2 Chainz’s lyrics are still drug and money-focused, but he also intersperses references to his contemporaries and reflects on how far his rap career has come. All in all, it’s a wonderful closer, and if it’s a sign of things to come (considering 2 Chainz has been working on music with 90’s era legend Q-Tip as of late) then I’m all for hearing what Mr. Chainz has up his sleeve next.

Is Pretty Girls Like Trap Music the best album of the year? Not for me, personally, but having grown up listening to guys like Jay and Em in my early years and getting into underground/conscious/backpack stuff in my teens I’ll probably always be more inclined towards something that’s more lyrically focused anyway. Nonetheless, I can definitively say as someone who’s critical of a lot of the trap that comes out nowadays this was a pleasure to listen to.

I’ve heard some complain about the lack of humor that was prevalent in 2 Chainz’s earlier projects compared to this, and admittedly, as I started reviewing this album, I found it to be increasingly difficult to find anything to really say about 2 Chainz’s bars on this one. They all revolve around the usual trap-standard subject matter that one expects from a 2 Chainz record, and after awhile it can be hard to say something new or original about them. His flow and his presence are still more than intact and lyrics aren't a huge point of emphasis for me when listening to this kind of music anyway; plus, tracks like "Burglar Bars" show that Tity doesn't need to do his usual funnier style to pull off some solid verses. It’s obvious that he wanted to use Pretty Girls as his chance to show people that he isn’t just a punchline rapper and that he can be serious about his music when he chooses to be.

Like most trap albums, the real highlight of the record is the production, and in this regard Pretty Girls is typically fantastic. Aside from some uninspired Buddah Bless productions everything on the record is extremely memorable and endlessly creative: the excellent guitar lines on "Saturday Night", "It's a Vibe" and especially "Rolls Royce Bitch", the nightmarish feel of "Riverdale Rd" and "Poor Fool", the indelible melodies of "Good Drank" and "4 AM", the smooth ecstasy of "Blue Cheese" and "Bailan", and capping the album off with the epic "Burglar Bars", the songs are expertly produced and really lend themselves to making the record what it is.

This was my first experience with a 2 Chainz project so I’m not totally sure how it compares to his other work, but if this is a sign of things to come, I’m very excited to hear what else he does in this lil “late career renaissance” he’s got going on right now.

Favorite Songs

Burglar Bars

Good Drank

Rolls Royce Bitch

Bailan

Blue Cheese

Favorite Lyrics

”Shawty ride like an equestrian” -Big Amount

”I give a fuck about thesaurus rappers" -Burglar Bars

”Used to drive a Porsche ‘til I found out it was made by Volkswagen” -OG Kush Diet

Discussion Questions

• Do you feel like the album would have been better if 2 Chainz had used his more humorous style more often?

• How does 2 Chainz compare with other rappers in their late 30s and beyond who are still putting out music today?

• How would you like to see 2 Chainz progress with his next record?

Tomorrow we'll have u/vulcan24 writing about Death Grips’ “Steroids” EP

Artist: 2 ChainzAlbum: Pretty Girls Like Trap MusicListen:YouTubeSpotifyApple MusicGoogle Play MusicTIDALAlbum Background”It's always these beautiful girls who like this hustler – who you think would be attracted to a whole other type of music. But they like Migos, Future. You get with this girl, and you want to play Bryson Tiller. But she's like, "I want to hear Gucci." Shit. We're the pop stars. Trap rap is pop now. People's ears have adjusted to what we have to say and how we say it.”-2 Chainz, Rolling Stone interview, June 2017 In July of this year, it was reported that hip hop and R&B music had officially surpassed rock ‘n’ roll as the most popular genre of music in the United States. Personally, I feel like rock had already been dethroned years ago and that rap’s dominance was only now made apparent by the implementation of streaming into the Billboard charting system, but nonetheless the shift has sparked debates over the relevance of the musical styles of generations past with millennials who, having grown up with rap and adjusting to it at a young age in a way their parents hadn’t, have essentially claimed the genre as the music of their generation. In the same way that my father’s generation chose Elvis and the Beatles over Frank Sinatra and the like, someone like 2 Chainz could be argued to have a more powerful hold on the youth culture of today than anyone with a guitar. Like most people, my first experience with the man born Tauheed Epps was the Lil Wayne featuring “Duffle Bag Boy”, though as it was credited to Playaz Circle I didn’t realize it at the time. The rapper formerly known as Tity Boi made the shift to 2 Chainz not long thereafter, and by the time he released his T.R.U. Realigion mixtape in 2011 he was certifiably one of the hottest up-and-coming rappers in the world, a full decade and half after he’d started his career. The year after he released his major label debut Based on a T.R.U. Story, a platinum selling album in a pre-streaming era (no easy feat) with three major hit singles. History would dictate that Mr. Chainz would be able to ride off the success of this album to further hits and commercial viability in the years to come, and while his string of golden features on others’ tracks continued to flourish, his own solo material began to falter. B.O.A.T.S. II was released one year after its predecessor but sold less than half as many copies and failed to produce a top 40 single. For the next few years Tity released a few mixtapes and EPs, along with a collaborative project with Lil Wayne, but nothing seemed to resonate with audiences like his material in the early part of the decade had. Suddenly, however, it became apparent that as trap music became more and more engrained into the mainstream consciousness, so too did 2 Chainz’s popularity begin to get a second wind of sorts. This is adeptly referenced in the title to his third studio album Pretty Girls Like Trap Music: it’s a testament to how far rap has come in its mission of taking over the airwaves in recent years and how, while the young women of yesteryear’s generation may have been more enamored with artists who were strictly pop, the more melodic style of trap music that has infiltrated the game this decade has taken pop’s place as the go-to music for the youth. The general consensus surrounding 2 Chainz up until now was that he worked better as a feature and/or “punchline” rapper than a legitimate album artist. 2 Chainz perhaps recognized that, having fallen from his peak hype levels in the first half of the decade, he needed to put out something truly special to keep people interested in his music. As such, he chose to downplay the more humorous aspects of his verses on Pretty Girls and instead focus on the grittier, drug dealing aspects of his upbringing, along with the usual foray into pussy, money, weed and braggadocio that is almost a requirement for mainstream rap nowadays. He enlisted the help of prior collaborators Mike Will Made-It and Honorable C.N.O.T.E. to provide beats, alongside newcomers such as Murda Beatz and Buddah Bless and industry legends like Pharrell and Mike Dean, amongst others. There’s also a “who’s who” of 2017 mainstream rap on the features list, with Drake, Migos, Travis Scott, Swae Lee, Nicki Minaj, Gucci Mane, Ty Dolla Sign and others all making appearances. He also utilized a unique promotional tactics for the record: he rented a “trap house” in Atlanta that he had painted completely pink and donned it with the album’s logo on the front, and also ran a “trap salon” for girls to get their nails done with song titles inspiring the designs. Pretty Girls ended up becoming one of the biggest sleeper hits of the 2017 summer rap season. It sold over 100,000 album equivalent units in its first week in the United States and garnered 2 Chainz the highest critical praise he had received in his career up to that point. Less than 3 months after its release, it had been certified gold, his first RIAA certified record since his platinum selling debut. Pretty Girls has produced a run of hit singles that were mainstays on rap stations this year, and the album has been considered nothing but a success for Mr. Chainz. But is it actually any good? ReviewPretty Girls Like Trap Music begins with a few rapid piano hits and, ironically enough, a blazing guitar line that would be feel more at home in the rock music that trap artists like 2 Chainz had helped displace at the top of the charts. Tity uses the opener to reminisce about his past and the things he’s done to get him to where he is today. The subject matter fits the Mike Will production nicely and overall this serves as a great way to start the album off. The title of the following track “Riverdale Rd” is a reference to a street in Atlanta, 2 Chainz’s hometown. The beat almost sounds like a trap reinterpretation of the Psycho soundtrack, courtesy of DJ Mano. Similar to the song preceding it, Tity makes reference in his lyrics to his younger days of hustling and drug dealing and how it contrasts with his life in the present day. This is undeniably one of the hardest tracks on the album. “Good Drank”, the first official single that had previously appeared on 2016’s Hibachi for Lunch mixtape, follows next. This was the first song I’d heard off the project and it quickly became an obsession, mostly due to the damn near perfect synth lead that opens the song. The patented Mike Dean Magic™ is all over this thing: a beautiful concoction of drums and melodies that stick to your ear and refuse to leave. 2 Chainz’s verse follows the standard for what the majority of the album’s content will ultimately consist of: money, cars and drug dealing. Quavo’s hook is infectious (the “Nooo-ooo-ooo” melodies following the “no hot box” line are great in particular) and Gucci’s verse, while nothing spectacular, fits with the track. The Travis Scott-featuring “4 AM” follows, with production from 2017’s most breakout producer Murda Beatz. Placing this woozy instrumental directly after “Good Drank” was a solid move as they almost feel like compliments to one another. Tity harkens back to the past again, “reminiscing ‘bout the trap, playin’ the first Carter” and references the projects he’s put out since B.O.A.T.S. II, namely a series of EPs and his collaborative project with Lil Wayne from the year before. La Flame’s performance on the chorus is pretty standard for him but given how awesome he generally is on hook duty this isn’t really a complaint. Could’ve benefitted from an actual verse from Travis but this is solid nonetheless. “Door Swangin’” boasts the first of four Buddah Bless productions on the album. Pretty standard trap stuff on this one, both in terms of lyrics and music. The running theme of the album seems to be drug dealing first and foremost and that stays true here. The strings that come in from time to time sound really good too, but overall this one comes off as just decent. The Nicki Minaj collaboration “Realize” follows next. To be honest, it’s getting difficult to write anything significant about 2 Chainz’s lyrics at this point. They fit the production and his voice and presence is commanding as ever, but the topics stick almost exclusively to talking about drugs, cars, money, etc, which can become tedious to write about after a while. The line at the end of his verse taking a shot at mumble rap was admittedly hilarious, though. Nicki’s hook goes well with the chilled out vibe of the production and her verse isn’t too bad either. Not incredible but it gets the job done. With “Poor Fool” Mike Will Made-It continues to prove why he is in the upper echelon of hip hop producers at the moment with keyboard plinks in the beat that sound like a malfunctioning children’s toy and brooding synth lines underneath. Swae Lee hops on the chorus and it’s one of the best on the record, further cementing himself as one of the best go-to rappers for a hook right now. Swae and Chainz reference how their mothers reacted to their sons dealings in the street, even though the money they would have been earning through their hustling ways was what was helping to keep food on the table. All in all this shit bangs; a definite highlight. “Big Amount” originally dropped on 2 Chainz’s 2016 mixtape Daniel Son; Necklace Don and the success of the track prompted him to include it on Pretty Girls as a bonus track for the digital version. Buddah Bless’s contribution is significantly better than the preceding “Door Swangin’”: as far as I can tell, this was one of the first contributions to the flute rap trend that wound up dominating most of 2017. Some of Chainz’s best lines on the album end up here (the “Shawty ride like an equestrian” line kills me every time) and Drake’s contribution works really well too. A solid track all around. Arguably the biggest single off the album, “It’s a Vibe” was a staple on hip hop stations this year and it’s not hard to see why. Murda Beatz’s smooth mid-paced production features irresistible guitar licks and 2 Chainz flows over it flawlessly, lending one of his best verses on the album to this track. Ty Dolla Sign, Trey Songz and Jhene Aiko provide vocals to flesh things out. In comparison to the other singles I’d probably take “Good Drank” and “4 AM” over this one, but that just comes down to personal preference; it’s still a chill ass song regardless. Honorable C.N.O.T.E. provides an absolutely gorgeous backdrop on “Rolls Royce Bitch”, once again employing the use of guitar. Next to “Good Drank” and two other tracks to be mentioned later, this may be my favorite beat on the entire record. Tity starts the track telling the listener to believe in themselves first and foremost and if they they can make their dreams come true. The rest of the record is spent describing his wealth and how he came to acquire it. This is an absolute pleasure to listen to and an easy highlight. “Sleep When U Die” is another Buddah Bless production; this one sounds closer to “Door Swangin’” than “Big Amount”. Tity compares his clothing to Ric Flair’s and his hair to James Brown’s. Pretty standard trap here; nothing more to say. Without even realizing it I sort of knew instinctually that “Trap Check” was probably a Buddah Bless beat before I checked the production credits, and sure enough that turns out to be the case. Again, this stuff is pretty middle-of-the-road as far as 2017 trap goes until the last 30 seconds, where the beat switches to the furious horns of T.I.’s “ASAP”, a welcome switch-up that finishes the track off nicely. More of the same content from Tity on the lyrical side of things, though the “I ain’t talkin’ Nike when I’m talkin’ bout a check” line always manages to get a smile out of me. “Blue Cheese”, featuring rap’s hottest trio at the moment, boasts what is arguably the best beat on the entire album. K Swisha laces the track with a bed of hypnotizing synths that completely envelop the listener; the effect always gives me a feeling of being underwater for some reason. Quavo’s chorus here is just as irresistible as “Good Drank” was and everyone plays their part to make the song a success. There is one complaint to be made with this track, however: Tity only gets one 45 second verse at the start with Quavo, Offset and Takeoff dominating the rest of the cut. It feels more like a Migos song featuring 2 Chainz than the other way around, which is disappointing given it’s supposed to be a 2 Chainz album, but I digress. Tity decides to go on an “OG Kush Diet” on the next track to cope with the death of his close friend (at least for the chorus, anyway; the verses revert back to his usual braggadocios, materialistic style). Production on this one is decent to start, but things change halfway through where the beat has a reggae-tinged switch-up to keep things interesting. The pitch shifting on 2 Chainz’s voice at the end of the track is a nice touch also. Next we’ve got the Pharrell Williams-produced “Bailan”, and goddamn this shit is smooth! 25 years on and Skateboard P is still a genius behind the boards. This goes over a lot better than their previous collaboration “Feds Watching”: whereas that cut felt like a misguided attempt at Pharrell adjusting himself to 2 Chainz’s typical production style, the roles are reversed on this cut and, surprisingly enough, Tity sounds great over this despite it being a lil outside of his usual territory when it comes to production choices. A full length 2 Chainz-Pharrell collaboration would be more than welcome if the results stay consistent with this one. The album saves the best for last with “Burglar Bars”, a poignant cut that feels more “traditionally” hip hop than anything else on the record. Near the end of the song Tity describes it as “soulful trap music” and his assertion couldn’t be any more on point. It’s a beautifully produced gem of a track from M16 and Mike Dean, sampling Barbara Jean English’s “You’re Gonna Need Somebody to Love You”, with Monica providing backing vocals along with the intro and a closing verse. 2 Chainz’s lyrics are still drug and money-focused, but he also intersperses references to his contemporaries and reflects on how far his rap career has come. All in all, it’s a wonderful closer, and if it’s a sign of things to come (considering 2 Chainz has been working on music with 90’s era legend Q-Tip as of late) then I’m all for hearing what Mr. Chainz has up his sleeve next. Is Pretty Girls Like Trap Music the best album of the year? Not for me, personally, but having grown up listening to guys like Jay and Em in my early years and getting into underground/conscious/backpack stuff in my teens I’ll probably always be more inclined towards something that’s more lyrically focused anyway. Nonetheless, I can definitively say as someone who’s critical of a lot of the trap that comes out nowadays this was a pleasure to listen to. I’ve heard some complain about the lack of humor that was prevalent in 2 Chainz’s earlier projects compared to this, and admittedly, as I started reviewing this album, I found it to be increasingly difficult to find anything to really say about 2 Chainz’s bars on this one. They all revolve around the usual trap-standard subject matter that one expects from a 2 Chainz record, and after awhile it can be hard to say something new or original about them. His flow and his presence are still more than intact and lyrics aren't a huge point of emphasis for me when listening to this kind of music anyway; plus, tracks like "Burglar Bars" show that Tity doesn't need to do his usual funnier style to pull off some solid verses. It’s obvious that he wanted to use Pretty Girls as his chance to show people that he isn’t just a punchline rapper and that he can be serious about his music when he chooses to be. Like most trap albums, the real highlight of the record is the production, and in this regard Pretty Girls is typically fantastic. Aside from some uninspired Buddah Bless productions everything on the record is extremely memorable and endlessly creative: the excellent guitar lines on "Saturday Night", "It's a Vibe" and especially "Rolls Royce Bitch", the nightmarish feel of "Riverdale Rd" and "Poor Fool", the indelible melodies of "Good Drank" and "4 AM", the smooth ecstasy of "Blue Cheese" and "Bailan", and capping the album off with the epic "Burglar Bars", the songs are expertly produced and really lend themselves to making the record what it is. This was my first experience with a 2 Chainz project so I’m not totally sure how it compares to his other work, but if this is a sign of things to come, I’m very excited to hear what else he does in this lil “late career renaissance” he’s got going on right now. Favorite SongsBurglar BarsGood DrankRolls Royce BitchBailanBlue CheeseFavorite Lyrics”Shawty ride like an equestrian” -Big Amount”I give a fuck about thesaurus rappers" -Burglar Bars”Used to drive a Porsche ‘til I found out it was made by Volkswagen” -OG Kush DietDiscussion Questions• Do you feel like the album would have been better if 2 Chainz had used his more humorous style more often?• How does 2 Chainz compare with other rappers in their late 30s and beyond who are still putting out music today?• How would you like to see 2 Chainz progress with his next record?Tomorrow we'll have u/vulcan24 writing about Death Grips’ “Steroids” EP

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itsiotrecords-blog · 7 years ago

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http://ift.tt/2qZoJXr

Everyone loves a good conspiracy theory. We’ve created ones about space, politics, terrorist attacks, and pretty much anything else you can think of. Even celebrities are not safe from conspiracy theories – far from it. Tons of our biggest stars have had the most ridiculous things said about them. This is hardly surprising, considering the nature of their careers. They’re constantly in the public spotlight, and so everyone is always talking about them and speculating about what goes on in their lives. It’s only a matter of time until some crackpot comes along and starts telling everyone wild conspiracy theories about something that couldn’t possibly be true. But what if these conspiracy theories are real after all? What if the people telling these stories have hit the nail right on the head? In many cases, there’s no way we would ever know if these theories are real, except if the celebrities themselves confessed to it. And since many of these accusations would end a celebrity’s career and ruin their reputation, that’s probably never going to happen. I’ll be the first to admit that some of these theories are just plain ridiculous, but there are some which are really worth considering. Which ones are real and which ones are fake? Read on, and make up your own mind…

#1 Tom Cruise’s Wives One of the most well-known celebrity conspiracy theories involves Tom Cruise‘s wives. There’s a lot weirdness surrounding these wives, and some of it is actually rooted in truth. This is made even weirder by the fact that Tom Cruise is embroiled in the ever controversial church of Scientology. The theory is as follows: The Church Of Scientology holds auditions for women to become Tom Cruise’s wife. Those who are successful are offered a contract worth millions, and a hefty bonus if they’re willing to give birth to Tom Cruise’s child. The contract is reported to last approximately four years, which makes sense since each of Tom Cruise’s marriages have lasted that length. In fact, Katie Holmes divorced Cruise almost 4 years to the dot from the day they got married. This is also seemingly confirmed by actress Nazanin Boniadi, who says she auditioned for the role of Tom Cruise’s wife, but didn’t get the part. So why does Cruise do this? Theories range from the secret fact that he’s gay to just general Scientology weirdness.

#2 Alex Jones And Bill Hicks Alex Jones has been getting more and more media coverage these days, but there’s one strange conspiracy theory that keeps on dragging him down. The theory is that he is secretly Bill Hicks, and he faked his own death and then reinvented himself as the talk show host Alex Jones. This is made all the more believable by a number of things. First of all, they look incredibly similar, to the point where it really makes you wonder if they are the same person. Second of all, Bill Hicks was famous for having very extreme and unapologetic political views, something that he shares with Alex Jones. Alex Jones is one of the biggest enemies of the left these days. Alex Jones has vehemently denied this conspiracy theory, but it looks like he’ll never be rid of these allegations.

#3 Cristiano Ronaldo’s Relationships Cristiano Ronaldo is another celebrity who suffers from a very persistent conspiracy theory. The theory involves his many relationships. We all know that Ronaldo has dated a number of incredibly hot super models and other incredibly sexy celebrities. But some say that these relationships are completely fake, and they’re only to serve Cristiano’s image. These people say that Cristiano employs a similar tactic to Tom Cruise’s alleged tactic of paying girls to date him for a few months, and then moving on the next one. This is made all the more suspicious by the fact that all of Ronaldo’s children are born from surrogate mothers, meaning he hasn’t actually impregnated a woman the good old fashioned way. Why would he do this? Like Cruise, the allegations against him are that he’s secretly gay. This would seem to be supported by the nature of his relationship with boxer Badr Hari.

#4 Hillary Clinton Is Extremely Ill This is one theory that actually has some weight to it. A lot of people say that one of the main reasons Hillary Clinton lost the election was due to her much publicized health issues. She was famously caught on tape outside of the 9/11 memorial, and she appeared to completely collapse, having to be dragged into the waiting black car by her handlers. Many people say that the black car is actually an ambulance in disguise. She later said that she had pneumonia, but it’s not common for people to collapse like that from pneumonia. She also suffered from numerous coughing fits, and at one point spat out a huge ball of phlegm into a glass of water during her speech. Some say that her failing health is the result of a serious head injury she suffered years ago, which actually happened and is well documented.

#5 Keanu Reeves Is Immortal This is an all-time favorite of celebrity conspiracy theories, and it never seems to go away. As you can see by the picture, there is a theory that Keanu Reeves is somehow immortal, and has been living through countless centuries without aging a single year. The first painting, from 1530, depicts a man who is frighteningly similar to Reeves. We don’t know who this man was, as the painting is simply called “Portrait of a Man,” by Parmigianino. The second painting is of French actor Paul Mounet. He lived a long life, dying at age 77 – or so it’s thought. The theory is that Keanu Reeves is all of these men, and has lived throughout the ages. As interesting as this theory is, there are some serious doubts. The most notable one is the fact that Keanu Reeves seems to be aging in this lifetime… Unless he’s somehow hiding his eternal youth under that bushy beard…

#6 Bill Clinton And Jeffrey Epstein One theory that is as frightening as it is convincing is Bill Clinton‘s connection to Jeffrey Epstein. Who is Jeffrey Epstein? He’s a registered sex offender and US financier who has connections to all of your favorite politicians. He was convicted of sex with underage girls, and has even been connected with the alleged “loaning out” of young girls to people in high places to get on their good side. Many people say that he operated a huge child sex slave ring, and he used to take them all to his island, called Little Saint James. He currently lives in the Virgin Islands, where his island is located. Bill Clinton rode on Epstein’s private Jet, nicknamed “The Lolita Express” numerous times, while he was taken to Epstein’s private island. The former US president even ditched his security detail on a number of these trips, preferring to be alone with Epstein. The plane was equipped with a bed where passengers would allegedly have group sex with underage girls. The theory is that Bill Clinton participated in the underage sex that was going on both on the island and on the plane. And if he was travelling on the plane, to that island, it’s hard to refute these claims.

#7 Elvis Presley Is Still Alive Another celebrity conspiracy theory that has been around for ages is the theory that Elvis Presley is still alive. There have been numerous pictures taken of a man who lives in Graceland who people say is none other than the King Of Rock. Could this be true? Theoretically, yes. Elvis would be 82 today if he were still alive, meaning he could still be out there somewhere. But why would he fake his own death? Well, his career was over, and the novelty of being a celebrity was probably starting to wear off for Elvis. He was old, fat, and everyone knew he was a has-been. So it makes sense that he decided to fake his own death and live a normal life of peace and quiet, without the press following his every move. There are numerous other supposed pieces of evidence for this, including the fact that his corpse was allegedly just a wax figure when it was seen in the funeral home.

#8 The Trump Time Travel Theory Okay, hold on to your hats people, because we’re about to go into serious tinfoil hat territory. During the election campaign, a user on 4chan’s infamous politically incorrect message board posted a series of bizarre revelations about Trump‘s supposed possession of a time machine. He says that Trump inherited the time machine from his uncle, John G. Trump. But here’s where it gets interesting. Apparently, John G. Trump really was a scientist, and a damn good one at that. He was reportedly capable of creating “death rays” and “megavolt beams of electrons and ions,” but he never used this knowledge to create weapons. But the really interesting facts come from John G. Trump’s connection to Nicola Tesla. After Tesla died, John G. Trump was tasked with looking over Tesla’s notes, to see if anything he invented could be turned into a weapon. That actually happened. John G. Trump reported back to his superiors that nothing Tesla wrote about was useful. The theory is that John G. Trump actually stumbled upon Tesla’s blueprints for a time machine, and was able to recreate it. Donald Trump was given this time machine by his uncle, according to the theorists. He allegedly traveled into the future, saw a dark and destroyed world, and then returned back, realizing he had to change history. According to the conspiracy theorists, this is the whole reason he ran for president. This is also apparently the reason Trump was able to win the election against almost impossible odds.

#9 Peter Thiel Is A Vampire You may not know of Peter Thiel, but he’s a very important man these days. He’s the guy who started Paypal, and he has since rose to become one of the richest men in the world. But Peter Thiel is into some pretty weird stuff behind closed doors. He’s investing insane amounts of money into life-extension technology, and he’s said numerous times that he wants to find a way to live forever and become immortal. And how is he doing this? The blood of children. You heard me right, Peter Thiel has admitted to taking blood transfusions from young people as a way to extend his life, and he says that it’s actually working. But some people say that he’s not only being injected with children’s blood, he’s actually drinking it. Either way, it’s pretty weird.

#10 Marilyn Monroe Was Assassinated Another very famous celebrity conspiracy theory centers around Marilyn Monroe’s death. She died under extremely suspicious circumstances, and some people claim to know the answer to the mystery. Her death was ruled as a suicide from taking barbiturates, but an autopsy was never conducted. She had suffered from depression throughout her career. But some say that it wasn’t a suicide. Monroe had an alleged affair with then president John F. Kennedy, and some say that she was threatening to expose him. As the theory goes, John. F. Kennedy actually silenced her before she could ruin his reputation and delegitimize his presidency. Other theories state that it was the CIA alone who took the murder of Monroe into their own hands, seeing her as a threat to America as a whole, and that John F. Kennedy had nothing to do with it.

#11 All Celebrities Are Pre-Chosen From Birth One of the weirdest conspiracy theories concern all celebrities, or at least most of them. Ever wonder why celebrities all seem to look so similar? Ever wonder why celebrities seem to only date other celebrities? Well some people say that celebrities are actually chosen from birth, and the ones who become superstars have their whole careers planned out from the time they can barely walk. These same conspiracy theorists claim that the elites breed certain celebrities with each other to try to create the most beautiful people ever, and that their marriages are all arranged. There are many instances of celebrities looking extremely similar to one another, even though they’re apparently not related to each other. Could this be the result of the same genes being recycled over and over again, and the same families inbreeding with each other over countless generations?

#12 John Travolta Is Gay Another celebrity involved with the Church Of Scientology is John Travolta. He was involved with the church even before Tom Cruise, and he attributes his success to the teachings of Scientology. And you can’t argue with the results. He started landing countless roles after getting involved with the church. But throughout his career, he has been dogged by the same rumor: that he’s secretly gay. To truly understand this conspiracy theory, you have to understand how Scientology works. Basically, a huge part of the religion is an activity called a “reading.” You go into a room with another trained Scientologists who encourages you to recall your deepest memories. John Travolta participated in countless readings, and the Church of Scientology still has all the transcripts from those readings. Every little secret he confessed in that room is in the Church’s possession. The theory is that the Church has evidence that John Travolta is gay from these readings, and they’re essentially blackmailing him with it, not letting him leave the church and forcing him to do their bidding. A man from California recently came out and said that he had been in a sexual relationship with Travolta. John Travolta later threatened to sue that man.

#13 Katy Perry Is JonBenet Ramsey Another celebrity conspiracy theory that’s gathering steam these days is the theory that Katy Perry is actually JonBenet Ramsey. JonBenet Ramsey was the child who was found dead at the age of 6 in her basement in 1996. The conspiracy theorists say that she didn’t actually die, and that she faked her death, went into hiding, and reemerged as Katy Perry years later. The theory was popularized by many people, including a popular Youtuber who claimed that “You know, the eyebrows don’t change much on a person. You’re born with your eyebrows. They’re very close, very close indeed, aren’t they? … As you know, this whole entertainment industry is just a charade — you really don’t know the truth.”

#14 Beyonce And Blue Ivy Another insane celebrity conspiracy theory surrounds Beyonce and Jay-Z‘s baby, Blue Ivy. There are various degrees to this conspiracy theory, from the somewhat believable to the ridiculous. The more conservative theorists claim that Beyonce was never pregnant with Blue Ivy, and that she used a surrogate mother to birth her child. They back up their claims with photos and video footage of Beyonce’s belly while she was allegedly pregnant, which seems to “fold in” at times. Other more adventurous conspiracy theorists claim that Blue Ivy is actually an Illuminati satan spawn, who’s name is a clever anagram of “Eulb Yvi,” which is the name of Satan’s daughter in many occult texts. Take your pick, both are pretty weird but they could both be true, especially given how connected this couple seems to be to Illuminati symbolism.

#15 Obama’s Real Father The last conspiracy theory surrounds Barack Obama. Many people say that Barack Obama’s real father was not Barack senior, but Frank Marshall Davis. Why is this important? Because Frank Marshall Davis was a communist who lived in Hawaii, where Barack Obama was born. Frank Marshall Davis had alleged connections to the Kremlin in Russia, and was not the sort of person you would associated with you if you wanted to become president. The theory is that Barack Obama lied about his father, instead claiming that a Kenyan man was his father, in order to seem more popular with many American voters. Obama even mentions Frank Marshall Davis in his book, Dreams From My Father. Also, Barack Obama’s own half-brother Malik expressed interest in this theory. Either way, does it really matter who his father was? Not really, in my opinion.

Source: TheRichest

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houstonlocalus-blog · 8 years ago

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Can’t Stop: The Best of The Week

Red Hot Chili Peppers. Photo: Warner Bros. Records/Steve Keros

It’s the first full week of 2017 and while it’s not the jam packed week we’ve gotten used to, there’s still plenty happening around the city. Performances from Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jimmie Dale Gilmore, Bowie Elvis Fest and much more will all be on hand over the next seven days. Houston, here’s how to spend the first week of 2017.

On Wednesday you can get your laugh on for a good cause at Rudyard’s when the always funny Slim Bloodworth headlines the When Pussy Grabs Back fundraiser. Slim has toured the globe, she’s one of the funniest comics in town, and the fundraiser will help get women to Washington DC for the Women’s March on Washington on January 21st. Dusti Rhodes will open the 21 & up show with doors at 8 pm and a $10 cover.

If that’s not your thing, then you can head to Arlo’s Ballroom for some DJ jams on the Hold On To Your Dreams show. Sets from Andy V, DJ Record Money, Bad Bonez, and Krysten Alexandria will all be on hand. The night gets going around 9 pm and it’s 100% FREE.

Dead To The World. Photo: Courtesy of Artist/Facebook

Thursday you can begin at Warehouse Live in the studio for the Benefit for Brian. The show will feature sets from Dead To The World, Revels, Ballistics, Jason Bancroft, and Grace Ann Miller. Alongside the performances, a silent auction with goodies from tattoos to merch from the bands playing will also be there. The all ages show has doors at 7 pm, and while it’s a FREE show, be cool and donate some money to get in.

Upstairs at White Oak Music Hall you could check out the alt post rock of Houston’s Bearlios. Sounding like a mix of Balance & Composure and Title Fight, their recent single “Haunt” has the makings of something that might be worth hearing live. The post rock of Houston’s Jonah The Runner will be on as direct support while Talking Forever goes on prior. The melodic pop punk sounds of Four Letter Language will open the all ages show with a $5 cover and doors at 7 pm.

Over at Mucky Duck you can catch the folky goodness of Matt the Electrician. While the roots based Austinite doesn’t come down here as much as he used to, he still drops some pretty magical live sets, and his latest release, The Bear/Never Had A Gun, is pretty solid. The sweetly voiced sounds of Austin’s John Elliott will open the 21 & up show at 9:30 pm with tickets between $20 and $22.

Friday you could get going at the Heights Theater when the guy who kicked off the Americana revival, Dave Alvin, swings by to drop a solo set. Alvin leads the Blasters, he’s played with X, and his solo stuff is like a road weary tune you think you’ve heard before. His latest release is a single from 2013 called “You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive,” but boy, what a single. He’ll have one of the greatest Texas treasures on as direct support when Jimmie Dale Gilmore hops on to perform. I loved Jimmie in The Big Lebowski, but his tunes are the true gem to who he is. In 2011 he dropped an album under The Wronglers with Jimmie Dale Gilmore that’s pretty damn epic, though he might not play those songs. The all ages show has doors at 7 pm and tickets between $22 and $34.

Ten Pixels Tall. Photo: Courtesy of Artist/Facebook

Notsuoh will host the first of a monthly featuring the Lazybit Collective. This premier edition has sets from Blip Boi, Savestate Corrupted, Broken Satellite, Ten Pixels Tall, FLOAT, and Parker Luis Can’t Lose. All of these chiptune artists are stellar and their music is definitely on point. The all ages show has doors at 8 pm and it’s 100% FREE.

At Improv you can catch the funny antics of Tony Roberts. Roberts has been on Showtime, HBO, BET, and more. He’s toured the country back and forth and his last album, 2010’s Wired! Is pretty damn funny. As usual, two of Houston’s better comics will serve as host and feature act for the 18 & up performances. The doors for the two Friday shows are at 7 pm and 9 pm, and there are sets throughout the weekend as well all with tickets between $17 & $30.

You can get your instrumental post rock feels when Houston’s Alone On The Moon drops by Rudyard’s to perform. These guys have a pretty intriguing sound, and their latest, Alone On The Moon, is full of heavy riffs. The instrumental metal of Ominous Necro will be on as direct support and Dead Leslies will be on beforehand. Knife Club opens the 21 & up show with doors at 9 pm and an $8 cover.

Adam Bricks. Photo: Jessie Johnson

At Mucky Duck, you could catch the Austin based and Tel-Aviv formed twang of Kids From Nowhere. The band has toured the world and has become well known for their live shows and great spirits. The always engaging sounds of Adam Bricks will be on full display as opener. You may or may not have seen him live yet, but if you listen to his stellar album Relations from last year, then you’ll undoubtedly want to check him out. The 21 & up show at 9:30 pm has tickets between $15 and $17.

Saturday you can have some whole hog BBQ and some tunes when Southern Goods hosts Patrick Feges cooks a whole hog while John Egan performs as well. Eagan makes music like a good slow roasted meat, it’s thick and smoky, full of flavor, and worth experiencing multiple times. The all ages show gets going around 11 am and it’s free to attend.

Later in the day you can get all of the white boy funkiness you can handle when California’s Red Hot Chili Peppers swing by Toyota Center to get crazy. I remember when RHCP performed with coyote masks on, I remember seeing them at the Houston Colosseum, and they’re always worth seeing no matter who’s on guitar. Their latest release, The Getaway from last year, is pretty groovy, and even if you’re not the biggest fan of it, they’ll still play all of your favorites. The funky jams of NOLA’s Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue will provide direct support while original RHCP drummer Jack Irons will open the all ages show with doors at 6 pm and tickets between $49 and $99.

Chase Hamblin. Photo: Daniel Jackson

If you were unaware, David Bowie and Elvis Presley had the same birthday, and in celebration of that, Splice Records puts on an annual festival to celebrate called Bowie Elvis Fest happening at Continental Club and Big Top Lounge. Alongside host Mills McCoin and appearances from the Dem Damn Dames troupe will be some of your favorite acts performing tracks from both artists. Pecos Hank, John Evans, Ancient Cat Society, Chase Hamblin, Adam Bricks and more, will all be performing. There’s more information here for the 21 & up show with costumes encouraged with doors at 7 pm and tickets for $17.

Walters will have the album release from shoegaze instrumental rockers Raceway. Though the album, Strategies Against Gravity, dropped digitally in December, this will serve as the actual release event. The electropop of Houston’s Camera Cult will be on as direct support while the shoegaze indie rock of Galveston’s El Lago opens things up. The all ages show has doors at 8 pm and tickets between $7 and $10.

Satellite Bar will have an intriguing show when the crazed sounds of Vockah Redu. Possibly one of the more memorable and mesmerizing performers you can catch, this guy mixes in R&B, hip hop, and soul to create one of the craziest live shows ever, and tracks like “Shake Ya Bones Loose” don’t begin to gear you up for what you’ll experience. Houston’s Morena Roas will be on as direct support while Shun Wes, Lucky Lou and Ja Pan will all be on to open the all ages show with doors at 8 pm and a $10 cover.

In the studio at Warehouse Live you can get your hip hop on when Blaze X Black headline the Hip Hop for Houston show. The duo has been making moves for a good while, their live shows are getting plenty of praise, and their latest single “Say” is pretty legit. The crazy energy and synth heavy sounds of Corbin Dallas will be on as direct support, with multiple artists on prior. Jon Black will open the all ages show that has a $5 presale price, $10 at the door, or FREE with a canned food or toy donation.

Funeral Horse. Photo: Jordan Asinas

Rudyard’s will have the proggy sounds of Treehouse Project over to perform. The three-piece has become well known for their garage meets prog rock sound, and their last single “Red Light” isn’t as stellar on recording as it is to hear live. Not to be outdone, the stoner metal of Houston’s Funeral Horse will bring their crazed energy on as direct support. I feel like everyone needs to see these guys tear through a set, and 2015’s Divinity For the Wicked is still one of my favorite albums from the genre. The riff heavy doom of The Dirty Seeds will be on prior, and Cobra Kai will open the 21 & up show with doors at 8 pm and tickets between $5 and $8.

On Sunday you can get all artsy when Adam Robert Scott has a show featuring his black and white illustrations at Insomnia Video Game Culture. The opening reception will have drinks and bits, as well as prints and tees from the artist for purchase. The all ages event gets going around 6 pm and it’s 100% FREE.

If you’d rather get rowdy, then the hardcore of DC’s Pure Disgust will bring their speedy punk to all at Satellite Bar. Here in support of last year’s Pure Disgust, they sound like they’re playing from a war zone. One of the many bands called ONE will be on as direct support while Houston’s United Races will go on beforehand. Hired Gun will open the all ages show with doors at 7:30 pm and an $8 cover.

Jealous Creatures. Photo: Bayou City Photography

Walters will host San Antonio rock trio and Burger Records act The Rich Hands. These guys are rumored to have a crazy live show, and their latest release, Cassingle, is pretty fine and full of hooks for days. Houston’s Cleen Teens will provide direct support while the rock of Jealous Creatures will lovingly open the all ages show with doors at 8 pm and tickets between $7 and $10.

Monday at The Secret Group you could get your indie rock fix when Mockingbird Brother swings by to play a set. I feel like everyone knows Chris from Devil Killing Moth, Second Lovers and MOTHS, but you might not know this band yet, though they’re worth making it out for. The Wiggins will be on as direct support while the trippy pop psych of Faberge opens the all ages show with a $5 cover and doors at 9 pm.

On Tuesday the Nightingale Room will host a set from Matt Mejia. You might know him from his old band Come See My Dead Person, though you should check out his solo stuff, as his unmistakable voice is nothing to shy away from. There’s no word of openers for the 21 & up show with doors at 7 pm and it’s 100% FREE.

That’s about it for this week. No matter what you decide on doing, be mindful of everyone else so we can all get off to this new year in the safest way possible.

Can’t Stop: The Best of The Week this is a repost

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6 Famous People Whose Origin Stories Are Dark Secrets

Kid Rock Was Born Rich And Grew Up In A Huge-Ass Mansion

Romeo High School “Your little rec center shall make a great showroom for our Bentleys. Papa will be most pleased.”

Adam Serwer/Twitter That’s a sad burger for so many reasons.

Rapper Rick Ross Was A Prison Guard

Florida Department of Corrections, Maybach Music Group His earliest songs were about how much he hated that Urkel kid who kept visiting his house.

Ron Jeremy Was A Special Education Teacher

On an episode of Judge Pirro, Jeremy admitted that his background was in theater, and that he’d gone on to get a master’s degree in special education. As in working with disabled kids.