#and Eli’s a little harder to break when he sets his mind on it though
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hunting-the-game · 1 year ago
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~*~
God, he was so close. The Entity’s hand stroking him had him right on the edge, so close to teetering over into climax.
And then the touch was gone. It took a moment for Eli to process what was being said, looking up at his master with glazed eyes.
A challenge? Eli breathed heavily, stretching his back to relieve some of the tension coiling in his abdomen. But the idea of a challenge piqued his interest, slicing through his reverie like a knife to bring back some much needed clarity.
Eli’s lips curled up in an eager grin. He loved a challenge, especially these kind. “Sounds like a deal,” he said as his determination solidified.
Five minutes couldn’t be that long, right?
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moghraidhs · 1 month ago
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unofficially tagged by mollie @bcolfanfic, and this wouldn't be here without her or her excellent young vets au anyway, so thank you!! shoutout to everyone who last line tagged me over the past couple of weeks, hope this helps :))
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Eli doesn't like parties.
They're too loud, too chaotic, and so many unfamiliar people in one setting is enough to send his heart richocheting in his chest like it's trying to get out. But he's been trying to be better, so when Nik and Lena had asked if he wanted to come, he'd said yes.
He kind of regrets that now.
He'd lost Nik some time ago. Lena, however, is still within sight, her arm draped around a petite girl, singing along to the music blasting from one of the trucks. She catches Eli's eye and winks at him.
Eli smiles back shyly. He'd never admit it, but he envies how little Lena fears things. Being brave always seems to come easy for her.
He just needs to try harder, that's all.
Which is why when a guy comes up and starts talking to him, he doesn't back away. Even accepts the offer of a drink, though he barely touches it.
He's not really sure where things go wrong. Only that when he turns down the idea of going somewhere quieter, the guy's face goes all red and ugly in a way Eli is far too familiar with. He reaches out, grabs Eli's wrist, and pulls.
Eli doesn't think. He kicks him instead, just like Zizi had taught him, and the guy folds over with a yell that echoes across the campsite and brings people running.
"What the fuck?" someone shouts. "What did you do that for?"
He grabbed me, Eli wants to say, but his words have gotten all tangled up and the only thing that emerges from his throat is a faint noise.
"Fucking crazy," the guy wheezes. He tries to get to his feet and Eli backs away.
"Fuck off," someone snarls from just behind him, and somehow Nik is there. He doesn't say anything, just delivers a hard shove that sends the guy sprawling, and looms over him. "What did you do, huh?"
Lena elbows her way through the crowd and joins them, hands on hips. "The asshole tried to grab him, I saw. Did he do anything else?"
Eli shakes his head. He taps Nik on the shoulder lightly, willing him to turn around. Tries to smile, in spite of the sick aftermath of fear crowding his throat. I'm okay. Promise.
Nik looks at him, and then Lena. Watching, Eli can almost pinpoint the second the anger drains from him. Not gone, not really - but enough that it's no longer the first thing on his mind.
"Fine. You—" he glares down at the guy, still panting on the ground. "Go near him again and I'll break every fucking bone in your body. Got it?"
Without waiting for an answer, he spins on his heel. "Let's get outta here."
They walk back to the truck, the faint sounds of the campsite dying away behind them.
Eli's hands are trembling. He doesn't realise until Lena grabs hold, giving his fingers a small squeeze.
"Saw you kick him," she says with a grin. "Mom would be proud."
Eli smiles back, timid. Now it's over he just feels tired, and a little ashamed.
Sorry I ruined your night, he signs.
Lena scoffs. "You didn't ruin anything. The beer was crap anyway. Right, Nik?"
"I think Mom and Dad would kill you if they knew you'd been drinking beer," Nik deadpans. He stops and turns to Eli, fierce brown eyes dead serious.
"You haven't got anything to be sorry for. That asshole's the one who should be sorry." A faint smile curls his mouth. "Fucking good kick, though."
Eli ducks his head, cheeks going hot. Lena laughs, bright and brave, and tucks her cheek against his shoulder. It makes him feel a bit braver too.
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l-r-christian · 4 years ago
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Title: Fake it till you love me
Warnings: Fuff, future smut, abusive exboyfriend, angst, terrible mother
Summary: Y/N comes from a wealthy family and has to return home for a weekend for her little sister's wedding. And Y/N asks Elijah to come with her to pretend to be her fake boyfriend so her mother doesn't try to set her up with her ex. But along the way she finds herself really falling for Elijah, will he return her feelings or break her heart?
Part two
It was a calm late summer afternoon as Y/N sat braiding Hope's hair while Kol was asleep next to them, Hayley was reading when Klaus walked in with a envelope in hand as worry written on his face as all it had was Y/N's name on it with nothing else.
"Y/N, a man came by dropping this off for you." Klaus said as the woman looked up taking it as the others looked over noticing the worry that Klaus was trying to hide. Y/N opened it letting Hope climb up into her lap as the others came over wanting to know what was happening. Y/N pulled out a fancy card that was white trimmed with gold and hand written in cursive.
~You are formerly invited to the wedding of Kris Prescott and Luke Woodward~
The wedding will be taking place on the Prescott Estate
August 4th in Texas
~A plus one for Y/N Prescott~
"It is a wedding invitation to my little sister's wedding." Y/N said as her dear friends noticed the bitterness in her tone. Y/N had never really talked about her family nor her childhood since the four years she knew the Mikaelsons and they never asked.
"Will you be going?" Hope asked Y/N with a smile as the woman smiled back, she didn't want to but if she didn't she'll never hear the end of it from her mother and older sister.
"Yeah hon. I need to call my mother." Y/N tells Hope her Texan accent bleeding though her tone as she kissed the tribrid's head getting up to call her mother leaving the family too look at one another. Later that night Y/N walked into Elijah's study to ask him to be her fake boyfriend as she knew if she Kol, the wildest Mikaelson would tease her and asking Klaus was a every big no so it left Elijah.
"Elijah....are you busy?" Y/N asked Elijah who smiled up at her gently and pulled her into his lap making her blush but was used to it as Elijah was always affectionate with her.
"No darling. What do you need?" Elijah answered pulling her closer enjoying having her close as she blushed harder and Elijah picked up on her racing heart.
"Can you come to Texas with me to pretend to be my boyfriend? I don't want my mother to set me up with anyone."
"Of course, dear. I wouldn't want you uncomfortable while there for your sister's wedding." Elijah tells her brushing her hair from her face making her smile hugging the vampire who hugging her close. Next morning Y/N had packed her bags letting Elijah put them in his Bentley while Hope was asking for a gift which the woman laughed telling her Yes.
"Anything I should know about your family?" Elijah asked Y/N as she gave him directions to her childhood where the wedding was being held. Y/N let out a shaky breath as memories were flooding her mind then looked at Elijah smoothing out her sundress.
"My mother, Loretta Prescott, is a house wife in every sense of the word and tries to play matchmaker which is one of the reasons I asked you to come. My older sister, Amelia Prescott, is a model and Victoria Secret Angel. My little sister, Kris Prescott, is a fashion designer."
"Then lastly my father, Sebastian Prescott or known by family members as Big Daddy, is an Oil Baron so call him Mr. Prescott."
"Your family is worth billions then?"
"Try trillions Eli. Big Daddy is a businessman so I told him you were a C.E.O....oh one more thing Big Daddy isn't much of a talker." Y/N tells Elijah who smiled nodding pulling up to the mansion Y/N called home for most of her life and saw Loretta standing dress in white dress pants and a teal button up with her infamous red heels hair done up with her diamond jewelry on. Big Daddy stood by Loretta in a suit with his dark sunglasses as Y/N recalled her childhood and realized she have never seen her father's eyes.
"About time yall' got here." Loretta said in a huff as Y/N fought the urge to roll her eyes while Big Daddy placed a hand on his wife's shoulder in a silent warning. Before Loretta could say anything about Y/N not bringing anyone when Elijah stepped out of the car, Loretta was shocked while Big Daddy gave a small smile.
"Momma, Big Daddy meet Elijah Mikaelson... my boyfriend." Y/N said smiling as Elijah walked over shaking hands with the Oil Baron then kissed Loretta's hand making the woman blush.
"Oh darn. I told James that you wouldn't be bringing anyone sweetpea." Loretta said dragging Y/N inside as Big Daddy followed after with Elijah. Y/N saw Kris and Amelia talking to James and Luke, Amelia still looked gorgeous with long blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes wearing a little black dress that hugged curves perfectly with red bottom heels on. Kris had gotten a lovely tan, her dark hair cut short, her dark blue eyes twinkling with joy as she was dressed in a skirt and white botton up with powder blue heels.
"Well well the ugly duckling has came home." Amelia said smirking her blue eyes landing on Elijah as Y/N knew where this was going so once Loretta let her go, she moved next to Elijah looping her arm though his.
"Kris is getting married I wouldn't miss it for the world." Y/N said ignoring the hurt the old nickname left on her heart and how James's eyes raked over her body like a piece of meat. Amelia walked up her hips swinging the smirk still on her face close to Elijah as she had never left any man alone that Y/N would date.
"And who is this?" Amelia purred her blue eyes gliting with lust as Elijah smiled gently removing her hands from his chest and wrapped an arm around Y/N's waist pulling her close.
"Elijah Mikaelson, Y/N's boyfriend." Elijah said and Kris smiled walking over to meet the vampire and after meeting family members. Y/N was showing Elijah around when he saw photos of her and Amelia in colorful dresses.
"What's this?"
"Photos of my pageant days with Amelia. I stopped at eleven, don't tell momma this. Big Daddy began to sneak me into his board meetings seeing how I wouldn't do pageants anymore." Y/N answered Elijah seeing him smile as he looked at the photos.
"You are every close to your father."
"Yeah Big Daddy understands me better than momma does." Y/N said softly picking up a photo of her sitting in her father's lap in his office when she was five. Y/N had always been a daddy's girl and still was as Big Daddy was the only one who really called her other than Kris, to see how she was doing.
"This James.... who is he?" Elijah asked hiding the flare of jealousy that filled him seeing a photo of her and James dressed for some kind of dance. Y/N sighed walking over to Elijah after placing the photo down.
"James Maxwell...my ex boyfriend. He comes from a wealthy family also. Momma wants me to get back with him not understanding why I left in the first place." Y/N told Elijah as he gently grabbed her hand rubbing it with his thumb and place a kiss on her knuckles. Dinner rolled around as Y/N lead Elijah to the dining room and James moved to sit next to Y/N but Big Daddy glared stopping the man and Elijah held a chair out for her then sat next to her.
"So Elijah, what do you do?" Amelia asked sitting on the other side of Elijah. Across from them was James, Kris and Luke while Loretta and Big Daddy sat at both ends of the table.
"I run my own business." Elijah said holding Y/N's hand making it every clear to Amelia that he wasn't looking for another while Loretta lit up at what Elijah said as he was looking better and better than James.
"What does your business do?"
"Many things but mostly working out contracts with Presidents of other countries." Elijah answered Loretta with a smile rubbing Y/N's knuckle with his thumb.
"It's nice that Y/N found such a gentleman." Kris said with a smile as Y/N knew her sister was talking about James and Elijah caught it too.
"How did you meet?" Big Daddy asked looking at Elijah though his sunglasses, his voice was low and gruff and Elijah smiled softly remembering how he met Y/N.
"In a small bookshop she was working in. Y/N was climbing a latter and lost her footing and lucky for Y/N, I caught her." Elijah said looking at Y/N with adoration twinkling in his mocha eyes as Y/N blushed lightly looking away. Dinner went smoothly and Big Daddy asked Elijah to share a glass of whiskey in his study something Big Daddy rarely did with his daughter's boyfriends.
"Your father seems to like me." Elijah said later that night as they got ready for bed as Y/N smiled climbing into bed with Elijah following. Y/N felt her heart race even though she was used to sharing a bed with at least one Mikaelson at night but she was never used to waking to find Elijah next next to her.
"He does. Big Daddy rarely shares a drink in his study with any of my boyfriends." Y/N said laying down as Elijah smiled chest filling with pride leaning over kissing Y/N's head.
"Nice to know. Goodnight my dear."
"Night Elijah." Y/N whispered as her heart raced realizing that feelings she buried deeply in her was coming back worst than before. Y/N knew she had to survive this weekend then hide her feelings again but for now she was going to enjoy being held by Elijah.
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another-aspiring-writer · 4 years ago
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A Little Kidnapping and Forced Dinner Date Never Hurt Anyone
Here’s my first piece. There’s not really any whump in it, it’s just here to introduce the characters and set things up.
Tag list: @ashintheairlikesnow
I don’t think i need to add any warnings for this. Please let me know though!
Enara sat with her back pressed against the rigid wood of her chair. She glared at the boy seated across from her. Theo stared at the table between them, making a point to not look at her.
That was fine. Enara didn’t really want to look at his annoyingly blue eyes right then. She glanced around the room, looking for anything she could use to get out. They seemed to be in a private room of a restaurant. At least, that was the only reason she could think of as to why they were stuck in chairs across a table from one another, their wrists and ankles cuffed to their chairs. She’d been awake for ten minutes, and she already hated that stupid table with it’s stupid white tablecloth and candles and a single rose in a vase at the center.
Enara knew it was Theo’s fault they were there. She had no evidence, but she knew. It was just like him to do something stupid that got them both caught. When they got out, Enara was going straight to Eli and telling him she would never go on a mission with Theo ever again.
First, she just had to figure out how they’d ended up here to begin with. She remembered driving into town for groceries and then stopping at McDonalds. It got a little fuzzy after that, but Enara thought she remembered someone grabbing her from behind. If only she’d had her knife on her, but of course this was the one time she left it under her seat in the truck. Things wasn’t supposed to get confrontational. Not yet. No one was supposed to know her team was in the area. If they did, it would defeat the purpose of the term ‘under cover.’
“Are you finished looking at me like I’m the devil incarnate?” Theo looked up at her, and how were eyes that blue even possible?
“No.”
“Is there a reason for this glare of yours? Or have you just decided to try out a new resting face. Because I don’t think that’s a very good look on you. Maybe smile more. You can think of all the ways you’re going to kill me if you want.”
“Shut up!” she snapped, desperately trying to cover the smile forming on her lips. She was supposed to be mad at him! “If it hadn’t been for you, we would have finished our supply run without getting caught!”
“Oh, so I’m the one who got us caught? Because I clearly remember that you were the one who insisted we stop to get you french fries.”
“I did not! That was you who wanted them!”
“I did want them, but only because you wouldn’t shut up about how good McDonald’s fries are,” he frowned, “They’re not, by the way.”
“And they’re at it again,” a tired voice said. Enara twisted as much as she could in her chair to see the speaker.
“Eli!” She shouted upon seeing his familiar face. “Thank god you found me! Can you come uncuff me? My wrists hurt.”
Zoe stepped into the doorway behind Eli. She brushed a strand of her hair out of her face with a sigh, “Can we knock them out again? They were so quiet when they were unconscious.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Theo pulled against the cuffs around his wrists. “You’re—? Knock us out again? What the fucking hell?”
Zoe leaned against the doorframe with a smirk. “You heard me right. You two were being so annoying with this little dance you’re doing. So, Eli and I decided to speed up the process. You’re welcome.”
“We’re not . . . what are you . . .” Enara couldn’t seem to form words as fire spread across her cheeks. She was probably scarlet, she thought bitterly. “There’s no dance going on between us,” She finally said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I couldn’t care less if I never saw him again.”
“What she said,” Theo added, his face the same shade of red as hers.
“Well, Eli and I disagree. The tension between you two is palpable.”
Eli smiled, “I’ll get dinner then.”
“Where the fuck does he think he’s going?” Enara shouted as he left the room. When she got her wrists out of those cuffs, she was going to murder all three of her teammates.
Zoe crossed to the table with a laugh. She pulled a lighter from her pocket, flicked it, and a flame appeared at the top. “He just said he’s getting dinner,” Zoe reached for the candles, lighting one, then the other. After they were lit, apparently to ‘set the mood,’ she put the lighter back into her pocket.
Maybe if she knocked the candles over, Enara thought, she could start a fire and make their death look like an accident. That could work. She glanced at Theo, trying to read his face. He looked like he was contemplating their deaths also. Maybe she would let him live, if he helped her kill the other two.
Eli swept back into the room, a tray stacked with food balanced in his hands. It smelled amazing, and when it was set before her, Enara considered letting them live.
It looked so delicious — pasta and chicken in a pesto sauce with two breadsticks on the side of the plate. Maybe she would let them live. She was probably just hungry, and things would be better once she had eaten. And gotten out of those cuffs.
“We’ll be back to let you out in about,” Eli glanced at his watch, “Oh, let’s make it three hours. That should give you plenty of time to sort everything out.”
He turned from the room, Zoe on his heels.
“Wait,” Enara cried, “Aren’t you going to uncuff us?”
“Oh, right!” Zoe turned back to them, quickly uncuffing Enara’s left hand and Theo’s right hand. “It’s probably going to be awkward eating with your nondominant hand, but this way you’ll hopefully have a harder time using your silverware as weapons against us.” Zoe left the room, barely paused at the door, “Enjoy your evening, lovebirds!”
Never mind, Enara thought, they were going to die.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, staring at their plates. Enara had to do a weird shuffle forward to get her chair to move so she could reach the table, where she promptly picked up her fork.
The food was amazing, and she almost laughed at the situation she was in. She was tied up by her teammates in who-knows-where because she needed to ‘confess her feelings for Theo’ (which was not happening), but hey, at least the food was good.
“This was not how I imagined I would be spending my Friday night,” Theo said, finally breaking the silence.
Enara laughed, “No, I suppose it’s not how anyone would imagine their Friday night going.”
Theo poked at his noodles with his fork, pushing one around his plate. He glanced up at her, opened his mouth to say something, then closed his mouth. What could he say to her?
“I’m sorry—” they both started at the same time.
“You go first,” Enara offered.
“You sure?” He waited for her to nod before starting. “I, um, well. I guess I don’t know what I want to say. You’re just so . . . infuriating. And I hate how annoying you can be, which is why I try to annoy you. And it’s so easy to get under your skin. And then you make this face hat I just—there, you’re making it now when I’m not even trying to do anything.”
“Why do you always have to be right about everything?” Enara asked. She could feel her face heating again. How could he do that to her without doing anything? “I can’t stand how you’re always proving how right you are about every single little thing. People can be wrong once in a while, but you never are, and it’s just so infuriating.”
“I do that because I’m trying to impress you. You’re so creative and talented and smart. You’re good a tactics and fighting and all the undercover work you do. And I always manage to mess up something and Eli or Zoe have to come in and save me. Sometimes I just want to show you I can do things. That I’m not completely useless.”
“Oh.” Enara hadn’t thought about that. She’d never considered the possibility he was trying to impress her. How could she be somebody anyone wanted to impress?
They both stared down at their plates, the silence stretched on and on. Enara chewed on her lip. Was she really about to tell him this?
“I think I’ve been trying to impress you too.” She whispered.
“What?”
She looked up at him, brown eyes meeting blue ones. For once, the hostility one of them always seemed to have in their gaze was not there. “I— I think I’ve been trying to impress you. You never seem affected by anything and I have never once seen you mess up on a job. I do all the time. I have more mess ups than fingers to count them.”
Theo laughed, “So we both know we mess up all the time and neither of us notices when the other one does. Good to know.”
“I will definitely be keeping a closer eye on you now,” Enara smiled. For once, it looked like a genuine smile to Theo, and he couldn’t help but smile back.
“So, can we agree to try to be more open to one another from now on?”
She shrugged, “Sure. And since we’re being open, I’m going to tell you that as soon as we get out of these cuffs, I will be murdering Eli and Zoe.”
“Don’t you worry, I will be helping with the murdering and disposal of all evidence.”
“Glad to know we’re on the same page.”
He nodded. “Agreed. And McDonald’s fries are actually pretty good,” he added, remembering their argument from earlier. How could that have that happened so recently? It felt like hours away. “I just wanted to annoy you earlier.”
“No they’re not. And you know it. There are so many better places to get fries.”
“Truce?” He asked.
“Fine, truce. But this does not mean that I’ve confessed my feelings for you,” she smirked, “I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”
“Oh, definitely. No one can know Enara secretly has emotions. That would ruin everything.”
“Shut up,” she laughed.
“Okay, fine. But we still need to plan our payback.”
They leaned closer over the table as their plan took shape. They never expected their night to go this way, but neither were complaining now.
In the corner of the room, a security camera secretly feed their conversation to the room down the hall. Zoe leaned against a table, twirling a knife between her fingers as Eli leaned over the laptop on the table.
“Told ya they just needed a little alone time together,” Zoe said. She nudged Eli’s leg with her foot, “Look at them, thick as thieves and its only been forty five minutes.”
“Yeah, but now we have to deal with them working together to get back at us.”
Zoe waved her hand, “It’s fine, nothing we can’t handle. If we couldn’t get these two to work things out, then I don’t think we’d deserve to call ourselves spies.”
Eli looked up at her, annoyance written all over his face. He couldn’t argue with her, but he still didn’t like what Enara and Theo were planning. “When this backfires, it’s all your fault.”
“Whatever you say, boss. But for the next two hours and ten minutes we have nothing to worry about. Relax, everything’s going to be fine.”
Far across town, a woman laughed. She watched as the hazy image on her laptop flickered between the young couple cuffed at the table and the pair in the room down the hall. All four of them were sitting there under the assumption they had everything under control.
In reality, she was the one pulling the strings. And they didn’t know it yet, but she had them all right where she wanted them.
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godlyborn · 3 years ago
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life is a highway. / elias & zoe.
date: october 1-3, 2021 summary: elias and zoe pull a hermes kid operation and break into his family home in alberta. trigger warnings: homophobia mention, child abuse mention
Elias put their bags into the trunk of the car as Zoe was saying goodbye to Brett. Elias couldn't deny that he was anxious about going back to his parent's house. He hadn't spoken to either of his parent's for two years, let alone possibly seeing them if they didn't time this right. Elias let out a breath, sitting in the car, waiting for Zoe to get in. Elias pulled at his fingers, a nervous tick he had. When Zoe got it, he looked over to her. "Thanks for doing this with me."
Saying goodbye to Brett was just as hard, if not harder, as she thought it would be.  Pressing herself tightly into his side, she swore to update him on where they were and that yes, she was going to be safe before giving him one last kiss before finally stepping away from him and towards her car.  Throwing her backpack into the backseat, she didn't look back before climbing into the driver's seat, knowing she wouldn't be able to resist running back over to him if she did.  She looked over at Elias, giving him a warm smile, reaching over to cover his hands with one of hers.  "You don't have to thank me, there's no way I was letting you do this alone.  Are you ready?"
Elias shook his head, and then gave a soft shrug. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be," he replied, looking down at Zoe's hand on his. "I guess I'm just nervous about the possibility of my parents being there. I haven't seen them in years, and I don't really want to see them again."
Zoe nodded along as Elias spoke.  "That makes sense.  If they are, I can do most of the talking if you want? But, they're not what we're going for so don't worry.  It'll work out, I promise."  She gave his hand another squeeze before letting go.  After double checking the address on her GPS, she started up the car to hit the road.
It was a few minutes of them sitting there on the drive before Elias spoke again. "I should uh, talk to you about something before you potentially meet them, and why I ran away."
Zoe’s eyes flashed over to her brother for a second before going back to the road. “Okay, sure. Take your time, we have a little bit before we have to stop for gas.”
Elias tapped his fingers against his knuckles anxiously. He wasn't sure why he was so anxious about this. This was Zoe, he was comfortable with Zoe. It was more of the, bringing up the past, that he was anxious about. "Uh, so, my parents, they're not really the best people.  For lack of better words." Elias bit his lip. "When I was sixteen, my sister, Cassandra, she sat us all down, and she came out as gay." Elias gulped, he tried his best not to remember that night. "There was a lot of screaming, and things being said to hurt her, and then it ended in my parents kicking her out." He cleared his throat slightly. "And I kind of just sat there, as she looked at me to help her out, and I said nothing, did nothing. It was like I was paralyzed. I was scared to say anything, because I knew that it would turn on me. She always stuck up for me growing up, not afraid to scream at my Dad who was pushing me too hard, or scream at my Mom when she..." Elias didn't finish that sentence. He shifted in his seat slightly, looking down at his hands. "I haven't seen her since."
Zoe stayed silent as Elias made his way through his story.  Her eyes flashed to his face on occasion, but mostly stayed focused on the road, though she did reach out to squeeze his hand in comfort before returning it to the wheel.  The story made a flash of anger run through her, which was clear on her face.  "Gods, that's awful." It didn't sum up her feelings properly at all, but it was all that would come out.  "I'm so sorry both of you had to go through that, Eli.    Parents that can just turn on their kids...." She shook her head, still clearly mad at the parents in question.  "If they can't open their hearts, they don't deserve to be parents at all.  But clearly both of you are in better places being away from that environment."
Elias shrugged in response to Zoe. It still hurt him that he knew Cassandra was out there, especially probably thinking that Elias didn't accept her, didn't care about her. Cassandra was the most important person to Elias, he wasn't there for her when she needed him the most, and now he felt like he was struggling through the same thing she was. When Zoe had said what she said, Elias felt slightly more comfortable with her now, and he could feel his body slightly relax. "I just, I don't want to see them at all," Elias replied. "I just want my sister to know that I'm sorry, and that she's safe."
"She'll know when we find her, then you'll get to tell her yourself." Zoe said confidently, fueled by the uncertain shrug to try and to make Elias feel more confident in this little road trip himself.  She had no idea how long it was going to take, but she was determined to find her and keep her promise to her brother, something that she made sure Brett was aware of and okay with before she left.
Elias was silent for a few moments. During the silence he was going back and forth between thinking about telling Zoe. He knew she wouldn't leave him, hell she was coming to Alberta with him to find his sister. There was a part of him that was scared though, his parents kicked his ister out of it, and even though he knew that not everyone was like his parents, there was part of him that was scared. He finally cleared his throat. "Plus, part of me wants her advice, especially because she knows how I feel, and what it was like to grow up in our family and to find out you're gay. I, uh, Zoe, I think I'm gay." Elias felt his voice crack at the last word, it felt weird to say that aloud.
As the silence dragged on, Zoe's forced her eyes to stay on the road, though it was hard when she heard him struggling for words.  She had always been very much aware that she didn't know too much about Elias' life before camp and never found the desire or heart to try and force some info out of the youngest member of the Poseidon cabin.   Unlike her brother, Zoe had never had any issues keeping her past a secret, though she didn't exactly have any skeletons to hide.  Elias knew pretty much everything there was to know about Zoe Fisher, something that she was okay with, knowing that if he was ever ready to share, he would tell her what he was comfortable with saying out loud.
These thoughts circled her brain, reassuring her through the silence, then more so as Elias seemed to find the words he was searching for.  It took a beat or two longer for her to fully process what had ended his thoughts and when it finally clicked, it took everything for her to not to immediately slam on the brakes.   With a small lurch, she let out an audible gasp in surprise, then quickly pulled over to the shoulder of the road, hazards flashing as she whipped her head to stare at him, eyes shining with the beginnings of tears.  "Eli, what?" Her mouth instantly turned up into a smile, her hands reaching out for him to rub his shoulders soothingly.  She had no idea what she was trying to say at this point, and after staring at him for a solid minute, just spoke the truth.  "Oh honey, thank you for trusting me. When did you know?"
Elias shrugged in response. "I never really had a moment to actually think about it. Then when I did, all I could think about was Cassandra's face when my parents were kicking her out, and my parent's screaming. It was all too much. I tried to deny it for a long time, but I was just unhappy. I guess I never really had someone I could truly trust to tell, until now," Elias replied. "I know I haven't been entirely truthful when it came to my past before camp. My biggest regret has always been not doing anything when Cass left. I was just so scared, I've always been terrified of my parents. I don't know, I guess maybe a part of me is scared that I'll find her, and she'll be disappointed in me, or she'll hate that she left me with them."
Elias looked outside the window, watching the cars pass them outside, silent for a moment. He turned to look back at Zoe. "I think I knew when I ran away.  My parents were talking about something, I don't remember exactly what, I just remember that it was pretty homophobic, and it involved Cassandra. I think I started questioning it then, because it was like I was a different person. It didn't feel like it was about Cassandra anymore, but it felt like it was about me. I actually screamed back at them, and if you ever meet my sister, I was never the one to do that. My Dad threw a glass in anger, he was always prone to these bursts of anger, especially when my sister and I didn't do what he wanted. A shard hit me below my eye," Elias felt his heart pound at the thought of that day. He couldn't remember what set him off, but he could remember perfectly the anger in his Dad's face, and how much it stung when his best friend was pulling the shard of glass from his cheek. He was reminded of it everyday when he saw the small scar it left on his face. "I packed my bags, and that was the last time I saw my parents."
Zoe stayed silent as Elias elaborated on his past, and her heart ached at the images he was producing in her mind.  For as long as she knew Elias, he was nothing but a gentle and kind-hearted soul, so the fact that he had been subjected to this much anger and pain made her want to just hide him away from it all.  However, it was clear that he still held a lot of guilt over everything involving Cassandra, and that pain in his voice was the only thing stopping her from turning the car around and going right back to camp, away from his parents.   "I'm so sorry, Eli.  I know you got hurt because of it, but I am so proud of you for sticking up for yourself. Trust me, I would do anything to try and take that pain away from you, but it gave you the strength to get away from them...there's no way Cassandra would be disappointed in you for having that strength."
"I just really want her to know that I'm sorry, she doesn't need to forgive me or anything, I just want her to know that if I could go back to that day, I would change how I acted. I would've fought for her. She is one of the most important people in my life, and she basically made me who I am. She deserves someone who would fight for her.”
In response, Zoe simply nodded.  Gently tugging on his shoulders, she pulled Elias into a hug, pulling back only slightly to gently drop a kiss on his forehead before fully letting him go.  "Alright then." She ignored the tears that were still welling up in her eyes, determination to help her brother once again settling in as she flipped the blinker of the car on.  "Then let's go find her."
[[ time skip ]]
"It's right up here on the right," Elias said, pointing toward the white house down the road. "You can probably just park on the street behind the trees in the front." Elias scanned the driveway to his childhood home for cars, and found none. Just what he thought, they were both at work. "If they're still on the schedule from when I left, we should have a few hours."
Zoe's eyes darted around the white house, trying to see if any light was coming through any of the windows.  Parking the car, she sat there for a few more seconds. observing the neighbor's houses as well before nodding at his words and undid her seatbelt.  "Hopefully we'll be long gone by then."
Elias got out of the car, starting his way up the driveway. About half way up, he stared at the house, taking a shaky breath. He looked back at Zoe, and then back to the house. “There’s no going back now,” he said. He made it to the front door, searching for the key they used to hide underneath the one planter. “I was hoping that they had the key where it usually was, but we’re going to have to do Plan B. How’s your climbing?”
Trying to act casual, Zoe hung back and let her brother do the key searching, even though it turned out fruitless.  Crossing her arms, she looked up at the second story of the house, then shrugged.  "Well considering this wall isn't covered in lava like back home, I think I'll be able to make it." She took one last look around the neighborhood, content that she didn't see any curtains flapping shut as she did.  "Lead the way, I'm right behind you."
Elias led his sister over through the gate to the back of the house. "There's a tree back here, it leads up to my sister's old room," he replied. "I used to catch her sneak out all the time. The window is jacked up, so it doesn't lock."
Zoe nodded as Elias explained their plan of entry, letting him climb up into the tree first before swinging herself up onto the branch behind him. “And they didn’t change the locks? How nice of them.” Moving slowly to plan out her steps, the siblings wrapped their way around the stronger branches of the tree towards the window in question, and Zoe once let Elias take the lead, not wanting to put too much pressure on part of the branch - with her luck it would just snap immediately.
Elias shrugged. "I'm pretty sure they never knew about this window. They cared more about who she was and how they controlled her rather than what she was doing," Elias said, more quieter than before. Elias popped open the window, lifting himself through it. Elias looked around at the room. It was so different, Elias remembered when they changed it after they kicked Cassandra out, they erased her so quick from their lives. Elias remembered the only thing that was left of her, was the lingering smell of her favorite perfume, though he was never sure if it was because he imagined it or if it was because she had spilled an entire bottle of it on her way out in rage.
The place no longer smelled of her, and it was frightening and sad how it was like their parents never cared. "This way," Elias guided, slipping into the hallway. Elias walked toward the office at the end of the hall. As he passed his old bedroom, he looked in through the open door. His room was the same as Cassandra's, erased, replaced by his mother's exercise equipment. Elias stood there for a moment, he expected this, but there was no preparation for him actually seeing it, and it hurt more than he thought it would.
Elias continued on, standing on his tiptoes to get the key above the doorframe and slipping it into the lock. Elias let the door open, staring at his dad's office, that room not having changed a bit. It sent shudders down his spine, remembering getting scolded and screamed at in this room whenever he was in trouble. Elias took a breath, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to shake it all off. "He keeps most of the important papers in his desk. Hopefully, that is where everything is."
Zoe followed in silence, keeping her eyes on her brother to gauge how much of a toll this was on him. Watching him pause outside a random doorway, she peaked inside only to see a mock up exercise room.  However, little details - besides her brothers stiff shoulders, give her an idea to what it used to be. Leftover tape on the walls, probably from ripped off posters, the shade of blue that he still uses to decorate his room in the cabin.  The annoyance flared up again and she placed a guiding hand on Elias’ shoulder, as if she could make him forget he was erased by just turning her brother away.
She didn’t rush him when they reached the office, despite the fact they had no idea how much time they had until someone came home. When he closed his eyes and spoke, she realized he was working on getting ready to step through the doorway. Nodding at his statement, she stepped around him and into the room, hoping it would make it easier on him. Pulling on the drawer, she started sifting through piles. “Well, let’s see what he’s got.”
Elias took a shaky breath, trying to relieve any anxiety that he felt, though the breath didn’t help much, or really at all, and the anxiety grew in his chest more as he followed his sister in. Elias pulled on the opposite drawer. He sifted through the files, his eyes spotting a file with his name on it and some notes in Greek. He had trouble reading the note, his father’s writing had always been horrid, and note in Greek were more messy than they were in English.
He took it out, looking through the file, his birth certificate, and other important papers that he had, and... a note about Camp Halfblood. Did he just read that right? Had they known he was at Camp Halfblood this entire time? “Zo? Do you think you can read modern Greek?” he asked, not knowing if the whole hard-wired to read Ancient Greek carried over. “I just, I want to know if I’m reading this right.” If they knew where he was currently, there had to be something about Cassandra in here, hopefully.
Flipping through files labeled about business expenses and the likes, Zoe was quickly coming to the conclusion that this drawer was most likely full of boring information that meant nothing to them or their search.  It didn’t fully click in their brain that a majority of the notes and titles were scribbled in Greek until Elias spoke up again, holding another note out towards her. “Yeah, I think so. Let me see.”
It took her a few blinks for the words to slide into place, and another few to make sure she was reading the note properly. “Huh.” She answered vaguely, trying to figure out how long they’ve had this info on her brother. “Maybe Chiron sent it? Since you’re a minor and all?”  There was no sender on the note, though she wasn’t really that surprised.  Surely there must still be legal stuff that Chiron had to do to prevent a nation wide search for missing children.  Zoe inspected the note again, then passed it back to be placed back in the file. “Hopefully that means we’re close, then.”
Elias nodded, putting the note back into the folder. He was silent for another moment, before whispering, “I didn’t think they knew where I was,” he replied, suddenly juggling if they cared enough to look for him, or if it was to just try and control him. That and if they knew, why didn’t they try to get him to come home. He wondered about their true motives.
He found Cassandra’s folder, also containing her important papers, and... nothing. He goes to pull it out and it snags on something. He pushed his hand back to try and get it out fully, only to find a note taped to the back of it. He pulls it out, reading it. It was an address and a date. It was dated a year back, “I think I found something,” Elias said.
It sounded like Elias was mainly speaking to himself, but Zoe nodded along anyway, choosing to stay silent instead of voicing her opinion.   They knew where he was, yet made no attempts to make contact or pull him out of camp - at least to their knowledge, but she chose to believe that it meant it wouldn't be an issue anytime soon.  Returning to her drawer, the two siblings flipped in silence before anything usual was found.
Pearing over his shoulder, her eyes scanned the address scrawled onto a small piece of paper, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of actually finding information.  "That's definitely something, Eli."  Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she turned it on and snapped a photo of the address before turning the device back off again.  "Got it, let's get out of here." Returning any files she had pulled out of order back into place, Zoe was careful to not leave any traces that they had been snooping around the office, backtracking to Cassandra's old bedroom after the door was locked and the key returned to its place.
Elias for a moment thought about just taking all their important papers. They would need them, but that would mean possibly showing his parents that he was there. So with a shaky hand, he put the files back. He followed Zoe out, going down the tree, and his heart felt like it was pounding in his ears when his feet hit the ground. He felt as though he wasn’t in his body, that he was watching someone do all this. He took a breath, sneaking away with Zoe. He paused in his tracks when he heard a familiar woman’s voice say, “Elias?” Her Greek accent slipping out. He knew that only happened when she was surprised or concerned, two very different emotions he has witnessed from his mother.
Elias froze in his place, locking eyes with his mother from across the yard. The same eyes he saw when he looked in the mirror everyday. Anxiety coursed through his veins and he panicked as she started approached him and Zoe. His eyes spotted the water spout that usually had the hose connected to it. In fear, he let the water spray from it, using his hydrokinesis to create a barrier between him and his mother.
Elias turned toward Zoe again, grabbing her hand, slightly pulling her toward the direction of the car. “Run,” he said.
Zoe felt her body turn to ice when a voice call out towards them.  She turned slowly, her eyes landing on a woman that she instantly could recognize as Elias' mother.  "Oh fuck." She breathed out, feeling the panic bubbling in her chest.  The woman's eyes flashed to her for a second, confusion seeping into her features before she turned back to face her son.  The woman took a step, and then water was spraying everywhere - no doubt the work of Elias.
Zoe's eyes flashed to the source, then the pressure seemed to increase, drenching the two siblings as she felt a hand slip into hers.  Taking control of the situation, she gripped tightly onto her younger brother's hand, taking off in the direction she parked her car.  Not looking back, she let go of him at the passenger side, racing around the car to practically dive into the driver's seat to start the engine and speed off down the street.
The minute Elias got into the car, he could feel his breath pick up in panic. “Oh my Gods,” he said, putting his head in his trembling hands as the car began speeding down the road. He was speechless, and every part of him was tense. Elias swallowed, trying to clear the lump that felt stuck in his throat. He lifted his head, opening his mouth to say something, but never found the words. He returned his head to his hands, shaking his head once more.
Zoe drove for a while, her eyes continuously darting to her brother in the passenger seat.  When she drove long enough until she felt like she could breathe again, she pulled over on the side of the road, put on the hazards and immediately turned her full attention on Elias.  Her own mind had been screaming and had constantly felt like she was going to look in the rearview mirror and see his mother trailing them.  Unconsciously, she did just that, and let out a sigh silent sigh of relief when all she saw was empty road behind them.
"Eli, breathe. It's okay."  Her hands rested on his back, rubbing it in slow circles to help and ground him again.  "Breathe with me, it's okay." She waited until his breathing seemed to calm, then reached into the backseat to get him a water bottle from the cooler they had stuffed back there.  "Drink." She ordered.
Elias followed his sister's breathing, trying to focus on her rather than the events that had just unfolded. Elias let in a struggled breath of air, but after a while, he could finally feel his breathing even out, though his heart was still pounding in his ears, and his hands shook as he took a drink from the water Zoe has handed him. Elias wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about what they found, or if his brain was working too fast to even process words. After a moment, he finally spoke again. "I just want to go home."
Zoe kept a careful eyes on him as he drank, and let herself relax a little bit when she saw a decent chunk of the bottle empty.  She didn't speak, unsure what she would even say after what had just happened.  Her heart pulled in her chest at his words, but nodded and turned back to the wheel to get them back onto the road.  "I know.  We'll be home soon, Eli."
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tanzen-neko · 4 years ago
Text
Freefall (Gavin x MC)
Freefall (Gavin x MC)
MLQC
Warnings: Hurt/comfort, brief mention of blood. 
Fluff inspired by “Free fall (ft. RUNN)- Ilenium and Gavin’s “Your Voice” call. 
It was late, and getting later. There was still no sign of Gavin. She bounced on the balls of her feet outside his apartment door, listening to the city clock chime midnight; the witching hour. Yet the only one who seemed to bear witness to its dark enchantment was her. Everything in the city seemed to be blanketing in stillness, and quiet. Normally, she would enjoy it, but not tonight. Tonight it just fed into her swirling thoughts and scattered pulse. Where was he?! She sat down in front of his door, the cold tile seeping through the thin summer dress she wore. She shivered slightly, and rubbed her arms to try and warm herself. She knew it was in vain; the coldness came from within her. She took a deep breath in, and exhaled slowly in an effort to calm herself. Taking out her phone again, she stared at his number debating on ringing it again. She knew he wouldn’t answer, that only his voicemail with its short, terse “This number is unavailable” would hear the frantic notes in her voice. And no matter how she ranted and raved at the cool unattached voice at the other end, Gavin would not magically appear and reassure her. After looking at his last text, (a short message telling her he was due back tonight) she closed it, the locking noise echoing through the empty hallway. It had only been hours since his call, but it felt like years. She always worried about Gavin when he went on missions, that was nothing new. But he had never called her when he was injured. She blamed it on his chivalrous nature. He had seemed to make it his life goal to shield her from the less than savory aspects of his job, shrugging off his scattering of new cuts and scrapes as nothing, not realizing that each time he was hurt, her heart broke a little more. Even she herself seemed to have been unaware of the extent of her worry. Gavin was a pillar of strength to her. Something to be fawned over, but never fretted about. Her closest friend, and confidant, she had seemed to take it for granted he would always come back to her. But when he called her after his brush with death, she hadn’t been able to concentrate on her work. He had just sounded so tired, so worn out. She had never heard him like that before, and the worry had gnawed at her until the point that Anna herself had told her to leave for the day, her sympathetic smile grating on her already tender nerves.
“He’s fine, you know,” she had blurted out hotly at her. Immediately she had felt her face flush in embarrassment. She hadn’t meant to snap at Anna. She just couldn't stand that look. A look that all but stated he was gone. Anna had looked startled and took a step back before recovering the smile on her face.
“I’m not saying otherwise, dear. I just think maybe you should take a break. You’ve been working nonstop since he’s been on this mission. I think it’s time you faced your own feelings.”
And with a gentle pat on her arm, she had left her desk. 
She snapped back to the current time, chewing her bottom lip. All on her walk home, she had thought about Anna’s departing words. Her own feelings? What had she meant? But even as she pretended ignorance, that voice in her heart had whispered the words she was afraid to say out loud. She liked Gavin. No, she loved Gavin. She loved him with every fiber of her soul. Being with him was like free falling into an endless abyss; petrifying, but oh so exhilarating. Every second she was with him, she felt alive. His smile, his frown, his awkward way of covering his mouth when he was nervous had painted itself on her soul until she was bathed in his colors. When she closed her eyes at night, his bright ember ones were the ones that helped her drift to sleep. When she felt insecure, his confident voice telling her she could do anything ran through her head. And whenever she felt stressed or bogged down by the day, she caught herself scrolling through photos she had captured of their outings on her phone, often laughing at Gavin’s shy aversion to smiling for her camera. He was truly the dearest part of her life. Why had it taken her so long to admit it? For that matter, when did the change creep upon her? Maybe it was after Minor’s multiple hints, or the way he emphasized her discovering the contents of the bloodstained letter from all those years ago. To this day whenever she brought it up to Gavin, he would rub the back of his neck, and tell her it didn’t matter. But it did, and she often found herself fantasizing about what he could have written and if their lives would be different if she had read it. Though she knew there was no use in it, she wished that she had gotten to know Gavin back then. But there was no point in dwelling in the past. She usually was a firm believer in that idea, but as usual, Gavin managed to stir up questions in her heart she tried to ignore. Well after his call, she had decided that she would no longer ignore the tingling she felt when he gripped her hand, or the way his eyes would cause the blood to rush straight to her head when he stared at her for longer than a second. She wouldn’t have called herself a coward, and she wasn't about to start now. So squaring her shoulders, she sat firmly against the back of his apartment door, vowing to stay as long as it took. 
The ding of the elevator and the sound of two deep male voices jarred her awake. She must have fallen asleep waiting for Gavin to come home. With a quick glance at her phone, she saw that an hour and a half had past. The men were coming further down the hallway, and her heart leaped in her throat when she recognized one surly voice as Gavin’s. Hopping up, she tried in vain to smooth out all the wrinkles in her dress. Frantically, she tried to fix her hair, and fumbled with her purse, trying to strike a pose that didn’t scream “Oh hey, I’ve been sitting and sleeping outside your door for awhile now even though you told me not to worry.”
“Eli, I told you I’m fine. Leave me alone, for God’s sake.”
“Tsk, tsk, Gavin. You’re in a foul mood for someone who should be thanking me for helping your sorry ass home.”
“I told you, I don’t need your damn help, Eli, I could have made it on my own.”
Oh really, is that why I had to help you-”
The two had made it around the corner, and Eli stopped talking in surprise at her presence. Gavin tried to break away from Eli who had his arm wrapped around his side in order to support him. He let out a slight grunt of pain, and she stepped forward, afraid of him falling. It was when she got up close that she could see just how tired they both were. With ripped uniforms, untucked shirts lacking ties, and muddied gear, it was clear that this mission was harder than most. Even Eli’s normally well coiffed hair was sticking up in disarray. He was still in better shape than Gavin was, however. Up close, she could see the scruff that had grown on his face while he was away, and the weariness in his amber colored eyes. Gavin stared at her, disbelief mixing with disapproval. 
“What are you doing here so late? Have you been out here by yourself?”
“ I, I haven’t been here long.” She pinched herself slightly for the lie. “And I’m here because, well..” She trailed off, suddenly feeling shy. Gavin still stared at her expectantly, the frown on his face making her feel like a student in the principal’s office. Eli looked back and forth between the two of them, a look of realization dawning on his face. His face broke into a smile that he tried to hide by clearing his throat. 
“Well, Gavin. I can see you’re in great hands, so I’ll be on my way. Take as long as you need to heal up. I’ll handle the paperwork.” He glanced at her, a mischievous light in his eyes.  “Take care of my partner for me, will you.” She felt herself start to blush, and she nodded her head, rubbing her arm. He shot a wink at Gavin, before making his way back to the elevators.
She and Gavin stood there for a moment in silence, both unsure of how to break it. Finally, he sighed. “Well, you might as well come in. It’s much too late for you to try and get back tonight.” He shuffled to his door, and she stepped aside quickly, suddenly feeling self conscious for the first time ever in his presence. He unlocked the door, kicking his shoes off barely before he made it to the entrance before switching on the kitchen light, bathing his apartment in a soft glow full of shadows. She had been to his apartment only once before, and quite briefly. Gavin kept a pristine look, clean and efficient, but it lacked comfort and style. She made a mental note to take him to pick out a few plants or pictures to help brighten up the space before she set down her phone and purse and opened the door to his fridge, grabbing a cold bottle of water for Gavin.  He was reclining at an awkward angle, eyes closed. 
She cleared her throat slightly to get his attention, and passed the water to him. Grunting out his thanks, he made quick work on it, and she felt herself mesmerized by the bobbing of his Adam's apple. She looked down, taken aback by the wave of lust that seemed to hit her as she stood in his presence. She had always thought Gavin was an incredibly handsome man, and sure sometimes she caught herself staring at his rear sometimes (all those squats paid off), but she had managed thus far to chalk that down to nothing more than appreciating a good looking friend. She could almost see Anna shaking her head in disapproval at her in her mind’s eyes. 
“Yes, yes, I’ll admit it”, she mumbled to herself in irritation.
“ What was that?” Gavin asked. She started in surprise. When had he stood up? 
“I said uh, less moonlit sits! I mean, I haven’t gone out for night walks since you’ve been gone.”
Gavin was still giving her a weird look, so she struggled to find a change of topic.
“Uh, should I get the shower running for you? I know you probably would like to bathe.”
Gavin shook his head before limping over to grab another bottle of water, grimacing when he bent down to grab it from the fridge.. He leaned against the counter, the shadows under his eyes almost like bruises.
“I was able to get a shower in at the hospital. Just didn’t think walking around in a backless hospital gown would have gone unnoticed.”  The corner of his lip quipped up in a slight smirk, and she found herself chuckling at the thought of Gavin on Sparky, gown blowing in the wind as passerbys stared in astonishment. 
“Hey don’t laugh,” he fussed, ears turning red as he covered his mouth. She waved her hands in denial, still unable to get the image out of her head.
“I’m not, I’m not! I’m sure you would still look very dignified Officer Gavin,” she said with mock seriousness. Gavin let out a “humph” of disbelief. There was a pause of silence, but as usual, it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. That was one of the things she liked, no loved, about Gavin. There was no awkwardness with him. It was like all the years of no contact, and the misunderstandings of high school had melted away the first time they reunited. She realized throughout their time together that he also never faulted her, or held her preconceived notions about him in the past against her. If anything, he was apologetic, as if the faux pas was caused by him and his rough approach to things. Gavin let out a yawn, and she felt a rush of shame. Here she was holding up his time, and he was too polite to say anything. What she had to say could wait; right now she needed to get him to bed. 
“Gavin, I’m so sorry! I know you’re tired, and here I am holding you up. Please, let’s at least get you to bed.” She knew he was tired when he didn’t put up a fight. He just put down his half finished water bottle, and nodded, wearily at her. She made her way over to him, and held out her arm. Gavin looked at her questioningly. 
“Lean on me. I’ll help you to bed.” 
I can make it on my own. Besides, you’re half my size.” She straightened her back, resolutely.
“I’m not spun glass, Gavin. You of all people should know that. Now, lean on me.” Ears turning red again, Gavin tentatively put some of his weight on her shoulder, his other arm coming around her for support. She felt his warmth practically burn through her dress, and her heart started pounding in her chest. She had been closer to him than this before, but as they made their way to his bedroom, she couldn’t help the blush that started to creep up her neck. Maybe it was due to the fact that she had never been in his bedroom before. She helped him down onto his bed, and in an effort to look everywhere but his face, turned on the bedside lamp. She couldn't help but smile at the bare room. Like the rest of the apartment, Gavin’s bedroom was in the same utilitarian style. Besides the plush duvet on the bed, or the hickory desk set, there wasn't more in the way of creature comforts. Gavin began to unbutton his shirt, and he let out a curse. She rushed over to him, and slapped his hands away, gently.
“I’ll do it. Please just relax.” Gavin’s hands fell to his sides, and his chest rose and fell rapidly as she slowly began unbuttoning his shirt. She could smell the antiseptic and the clean scent of soap. It seemed that as each button became undone, the tension in the air became more and more unbearable. She felt like she was holding her breath and forced herself to exhale. Too quickly (or not quickly enough, she wasn’t quite sure which one), his shirt was undone. With a bit of a struggle, she helped him remove it, Gavin grimacing in pain as he pulled it off. She stared at his chest, and for once wasn’t caught up in the beautiful display of his muscle. Instead, her eyes were fixed on the bandage covering his chest. It was right over his heart, and covered the span of his ribs. Already he was bleeding through, the tinge of blood almost jarring against the pristine white of the wrap. It needed to be changed already, and she tentatively touched the bandage. It became blurry before her eyes, and it took several blinks before she realized she was crying. 
“Hey, hey, it’s ok. I’m ok. I promise it looks worse than it is.” Gavin’s words were meant to comfort her, but instead she began crying harder. She couldn’t help it. What if he had been injured worse? Or better yet, what if he had died? He would have left this earth never knowing just what he meant to her.
“Gavin, I…” She couldn’t even finish her sentence. “You could have been hurt so much worse.”
He reached out his fingers, and clumsily tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. His calloused fingers sent tiny sparks against her cheeks. She sniffled, chagrined by her tears. 
“Sorry. You’re the one hurt, and I’m crying like a baby.” She tried to shake Gavin’s fingers away, but he just cupped her cheek, instead.
“You don’t ever have to apologize to me. I’ll always be around to take care of you.” She grabbed his hand, and dropped a kiss across his scarred knuckles. Gavin stilled. She made up her mind right then and there. She wouldn’t leave his room until he knew how she felt.
“Gavin, you always take care of me. For once, for once let me do something for you. She clambered off of the bed, and went to his bathroom to look for his medical kit. After rummaging under his sink, she came upon it. She made her way back to the bed, and ignoring Gavin’s protests, she set out to change his dressing. When she uncovered it, and saw the blood leaking out of his angry looking stitches, she felt a wave of dizziness come over her. She fought it off, however, and after cleaning it as gently as she could, rebandaging it. She secured it back underneath his ribs like the first bandage. She set back a little to admire her work, setting the kit on his bedside table.
“I know it’s not as good as the hospital’s but… It’s not too tight is it?” Her fingers begin to trail around the top of the bandage again, but this time she managed to keep the tears at bay. She drifted up higher, and ran them gently over the scar on his collarbone. She felt herself wishing that she had been there to take care of him when he got it, or any of the collections of scars he had. Making a promise right then and there to be there for the next one, she leaned forward and dropped a kiss on it. His flesh was hot underneath her lips, and she darted her tongue out to trace it. Gavin’s breathing picked up, and she could feel his heartbeat as she nuzzled his scar.
“What are you doing?” he asked hoarsely, muscles tensing up.
“Shhh. I’m taking care of you.”  She grabbed his hand, and gave the scars along each of his arms the same treatment. And as each kiss touched his skin, Gavin’s muscles became more and more relaxed. It felt like some tightly wound knot in his heart was slowly loosening with each caress. But though the knot was loosening, his pants seemed to be doing the opposite. He had dreamt of her kisses on his skin for so long, and now that it was happening, he didn’t have the strength to stop his body from reacting. 
She shuffled herself down the bed to his stomach, and dropped a kiss along his scars there. She could feel Gavin’s abs flexing underneath her tongue as she ran it along them. His breathing was coming out almost in pants now, and she heard him exhale sharply as she dropped wet kisses in a trail to the cluster of scars at his hip that always drove her crazy whenever his pants would ride low. She had wanted to kiss them for longer than she cared to admit. And as she ran her teeth lightly against them, Gavin let out a strangled groan. She did it again, and his hips involuntarily jerked against her slightly as he let out another whimper. She shifted herself and sat up to look at Gavin. His amber eyes almost glowed in the darkness, the burning mix of lust and yearning tinged with a hint of confusion piercing her to her very core. He pushed his hair out of his face, and looked away.
“______?” her name coming out in an almost soundless whisper. “Why?” She chewed her lip, suddenly nervous and afraid. What if Minor was confused? What if all this time together was just him being a good friend to someone being swept up in a story bigger than herself. But even if that was the case, she promised herself she would tell him. 
“I did it because I came to a conclusion today. Helped along by Minor and Anna. Gav, I, I love you. I love you so, so much. And if I’m honest, I think I’ve loved you for a while now. I’ll admit when you first came back around, I was scared of you.” She looked down, and rubbed her arm, sheepishly.
“All those rumors in high school, and the blood stained note, I never made an effort to talk to you. And I’m so so sorry about that. I just…” she trailed off, still upset with her past shelf for behaving the way she had. Gavin was silent for a beat. Suddenly, he grabbed her and pulled her to his uninjured side into a tight hug. She struggled a bit, worried about his bandages. As if reading her mind, Gavin ran a hand through her hair.
“It doesn’t hurt right now. Just, just let me hold you for a moment ok? Just for a little.”
Heart pounding, she relaxed and tentatively put her arms loosely around him. She loved the warmth of his body, the distinct comfort it always seemed to bring her. She breathed in his crisp, clean smell, and felt her heart slowly begin to resume a normal tempo. This was the effect he always had on her. Once in his arms, it seemed like there was never any problem she couldn’t overcome. There was something about his presence that just kept her grounded and calm. Gavin continued stroking her hair, and she felt her eyes begin to drift shut. The stress and worry, and then the sweet relief of being able to tell him how she felt hit her all at once. “Just for a few minutes more”, she thought. But before she knew it, she was sound asleep. Gavin heard her snoring softly, and chuckled to himself. Moving inch by painstaking inch so as to not wake her, he scooted his body down so that he was laying comfortably on his bed.. She let out a soft sigh before she snuggled closer to him. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head, the injury almost forgotten in lieu of her revelation. Belatedly, he realized he never said he loved her back, but that could wait. For now he whispered it softly in her ear before he closed his eyes, a soft smile of pure contentment on his face for the first time in a while. 
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olliestcne · 4 years ago
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TITLE: CALAMITOUS LOVE AND INSURMOUNTABLE GRIEF. SETTING: John and Sharon Stone’s residence aka Oliver’s childhood home. DATE: August 27th, 2020. PREMISE: John Stone has something important to tell his three children and his wife. TRIGGER WARNINGS: DEATH AND CANCER.
Death has never been a thing Oliver has fully comprehended. Everyone in his family was present and beaming, oozing a kind of everlasting life that most would beg for. Sure, his grandfather died when he was young, but that to him always seemed inevitable. When you’re old, you pass. You go somewhere nice as you’ve lived a full, happy existence. That’s as far as Oliver’s brain can manage the concept of death or loss. It was simple. Simple but naive.
He gets a text from his father early in the morning. Something about a family meeting. Urgent. Oliver takes it with a grain of salt, as do his siblings, as usually it’s about where they were going to go next as a family and what they were going to get mom for Christmas because she was a kind but picky woman.
Oliver shows up at around 5pm.
“I already got mom the little Pandora bracelet last year. I can get more charms. She likes those, right?” Oliver says upon arrival, plopping down onto the armchair in the living room. It smelled like his father and always has. This entire home smelled like his childhood. Like his mother’s favorite vanilla lotion, like the smell of popcorn on family movie nights. He would feel empty without this space, that much was certain.
Charlotte, John and Sharon’s youngest, barks out a laugh. “No way. We need to step it up this year. Maybe some diamond earrings.” Charlotte had just given birth three months ago, her husband was home with the baby. A new little bundle of joy welcomed into the Stone family. They couldn’t be happier. 
Thomas, John and Sharon’s oldest, arrives right after Oliver, tossing his coat on the back of the couch. He circles into the kitchen and grabs a water for himself before sitting down beside Charlotte. “Dad already got her diamond earrings for a birthday one year. That’s weak, Char.” He says, unscrewing the cap to his water and taking a generous sip.
“Where are they? Are they late to their own family meeting?” Oliver says, leaning over the arm of the chair into the hallway just behind him. “Hello! Your children are here!” Oliver, forever suffering from middle child syndrome, was always dramatic. Looking for attention. Hence the theatrics.
Sharon walks in nervously then, her expression fallen. This alone was jarring, especially since they were the most chipper family known to man. Yet, Oliver tries not to jump to conclusions. His mother was always the harder of the two, coming from a bad childhood and a family who basically disowned her. She was a survivor, a warrior. There was nothing to worry about.
But, then comes John, seeming tired and, of course, nervous. Just as Sharon. The living room goes a little silent, none of them expecting such a strange and unsettling entrance from their parents. Charlotte’s brows furrow, watching as her parents sit on the other couch located beside the fireplace. “What’s...going on?” She asks, knowing Oliver and Thomas were thinking the same thing.
Oliver suddenly feels the rhythm of his heart increase. He has to swallow hard to contain himself. He was already dealing with a plethora of problems within his marriage, he didn’t need more. What could this be? Were they just messing with them?
“You’re getting divorced, aren’t you? Is that it?” Oliver says on the brink of tears already, nervously balling his hands into fists. “Oh my God, you’re getting divorced. Oh my God...I guess one of you can stay with me and Eli for a while and I-” Always dramatic, this one. 
Sharon shakes her head, reaching her hands out, “No, baby, no.” She says, interrupting him before he falls into the deep end. “We’re not, never.”
Thomas, always the more noble of his siblings, sits back, preparing for what’s about to happen. They all know it’s not good but it’s as if Thomas was in the front of the trenches, protecting his siblings from impending doom. 
“Your father has something to tell us. I don’t even know, actually...” Sharon says, earning  a strange sound to come from Charlotte. It’s a noise of shock and confusion, all four of them now looking to John. 
A few moments pass. Nothing comes. Nothing comes until it does.
“I have lung cancer. Stage four.” John rips the bandage off and creates a new wound. The room goes so silent you could hear a pin drop. It earns a ringing to sound in Oliver’s ears. His eyes dart back and forth between his mother and his father. John’s expression remains still. Tired, sad. And Sharon looks shocked into silence, just as her children.
“You —” Thomas says, being the first one brave enough to break the silence that blankets them. “When did you —” He’s holding back, Oliver and Charlotte can tell. It was odd to see their older brother struck like this. Usually, he was their protector, someone they can go to when things were tough. But, they were all in this together now, sprung into a state of confusion and hurt.
It’s then Oliver realizes he’s started crying, hot tears silently streaming down his face. This can’t be happening, is the first thought that pops into his head, this can’t be fucking happening.
“We — Well, we have to get treatment. We have the money, we can —”
“No,” John says, interrupting his wife. Sharon is instantly taken back by this, eyebrows knitting together in a way Oliver has never, ever seen before. 
But then he registers what his father just said. No. No? He wasn’t getting treatment? This can’t fucking be happening.
“What do you mean no?” Oliver says, or perhaps spews, out. He doesn’t mean to sound harsh but it all comes spilling out of him. It doesn’t pair well with the state of his face, decorated with tears still streaming from his blue eyes. Charlotte’s begun to cry too, silently, just like Oliver. Her breath hitches for a moment before her face is buried in her hands. This was something she did even as a child, a way to calm herself when she became anxious. Their mother would usually rub her back then or sing to her when this happened. But, now, Sharon couldn’t do a damn thing but stare into the face of her husband. 
“I don’t want you guys to see me like that. Losing my hair, throwing up. I want to go as I am now. As a man who loves his family.” John, understandably, gets choked up as he speaks. John Stone doesn’t want to die, but he doesn’t want his dignity stripped from him either. Oliver wasn’t aware that his father was such a prideful man until now. Something about that earns pain to surge throughout his body. 
That same silence blankets them once more, each of them too rattled to say a damn thing. Oliver feels as though a scream is perched just under his chin, a combination of sorrow and anger beginning to brew inside his stomach. 
With that, something inside him swerves, like a car on ice. He loses track of his emotions and they go flying around his mind, everything all at once. “What the fuck?” He finally says, moving to stand, “You’re gonna just — you’re gonna just...die?” It’s not what he wants to say, not at all, but he can’t find the right words anymore. It earns a sob out of Charlotte, her head still in her hands. Thomas reaches over to touch her back. 
“Ollie, this is what I want. I know it’s hard, but...” John says, looking up at his son with glossy eyes. Oliver was still crying himself, his bottom lip quivering as he opens his mouth to speak. Nothing comes out, just a pathetic little breath. Sharon up and leaves the room and her children watch as she does so. Sharon Stone was not a crier. Never has been. She was the strongest and bravest woman Oliver has ever known. If anything was going to break her, it was this, and she still didn’t want the world to see her in that state. Oliver understood that.
Oliver looks to Thomas, who was also sporting glistening eyes, before allowing his gaze to land back on his father. “Can you say something, please? Our father’s lost his fucking mind.” Thomas sighs before speaking after Oliver, “You need to get treatment, dad. You can beat it.” Stage four was a hard thing to beat, they all knew that, but the Stone family has always been endlessly optimistic no matter what the circumstances were. 
John remains quiet.
Charlotte stands, grabbing her things and heading out the front door. It’s slammed behind her as she makes her way to her car, shaking as she shoves the keys into the ignition. Charlotte had never contemplated death either, that much was obvious. 
John’s head moves into his hands, rubbing over his tired face with his palms. Thomas looks down at the carpet, his body and face turning to marble. He was still, like a quiet sea. Meanwhile, Oliver was an ocean with violent waves. 
“I can’t believe this..” Oliver trails off, looking down at his shoes. Then to the carpet that was still the same from when he was a child. Everything was the same. Except for this. This feels like a nightmare in a perfect place that threatens to spoil everything. 
By a sudden stroke of impulse, Oliver inhales sharply and walks out too. He follows the same trail his sister left, slamming the front door behind him as he makes his way to his vehicle. He slams the car door too, looking out towards his childhood home one more time before pulling out of the driveway with tears in his eyes. In truth, he tries not to sob, though the lump in his throat was growing larger by the second. 
His hands tremble violently as they grip the steering wheel, eyes focused on the road as that sheltered sob finally rips through his throat. 
Oliver arrives him at 9pm. He had to stay late at work, he’ll say as an excuse. He kisses his daughter’s head, his son’s cheek, and his husband’s jaw as they sleep. He stays up for the rest of the evening into the morning, staring at the carpet in his living room. This wasn’t happening.
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florrickandassociates · 5 years ago
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TGF Thoughts: 4x03-- The Gang Gets a Call from HR
Under the cut! 
We pick up with a reminder of where we left off last week: Xo’s restaurant being torn down. (Captions call her “Martha” but I’m fairly certain her name is “Marta” on this show)
Diane confronts Canning and taunts him with the deep pockets of STR Laurie. Canning is unfazed and Diane leaps into action. Diane thinks things are going to go her way.
Frank Landau is in reception and Marissa spots him and immediately unleashes an intense series of verbal attacks about how Eli shouldn’t send messengers if he has something to say and how she might marry a Republican. She rants and rants until Adrian shows up to greet Frank. For once, he’s not here to make Marissa’s life harder.
I do love moments like this. One, they’re hilarious. Two, Marissa thinking he MUST be there for her and also referencing her dad is just fantastic.
Landau is really there to talk to Adrian and Liz (and pointedly not Diane) about the DNC’s efforts to engage black voters. Landau wants RBL to come up with a strategy. As Adrian points out, this is a question for a PR firm. But Landau wants RBL-- they’re a black run firm and they’ve worked with the DNC before (though they fired Liz from the impeachment thing-- did we know that?), and, most importantly, they come with attorney-client privilege. 
“Dammit!” Jay exclaims when he can’t find the injunction for Diane’s case in the system. “I just told our top client to fuck off; whatever you’re dealing with can’t be worse,” Marissa responds. Heh.
Marissa can’t find it either.
God bless the loud beeping noise that happens whenever anyone can’t find a legal document. No one would have their sound on (okay, maybe Diane would) which makes this little detail hilarious to me. 
The system says the case doesn’t exist. Before Jay can investigate further, Adrian tells him he’s needed in the conference room. Jay wonders what’s wrong. Then Adrian goes to collect Lucca, who is chatting with Bianca (their convo is friendly but basically sounds like a rehash of what we saw last ep, with Lucca being like “I am a real person who has to do work” and Bianca being like “But being rich is fun!”). Lucca also asks what’s wrong and Adrian wants to know why everyone keeps asking that. Uh, because you interrupted them with a vague urgent request? That always raises red flags…
Jay goes to Diane before he reports to the conference room and shows her that the case she argued a couple of days prior doesn’t exist. This reminds me of Kresteva’s mind game but on a much bigger, scarier level.
Landau asks all the black employees of the firm, who have been gathered in the conference room, what the biggest issue facing black people today is. This feels exceedingly inappropriate. Helping the DNC brainstorm isn’t part of the job description of a lawyer (or a mailroom attendee) and it doesn’t sound like this meeting was voluntary. And who is going to be open about this with their bosses and a client present?! 
“Lack of voting rights,” someone finally volunteers. Racism and police brutality get added to the list too, as does institutional racism. 
When Landau asks what the Democratic Party is doing to combat racism, the room begins to buzz and Jay speaks up to say the DNC is doing “jack shit to combat racism.” He wants to know where the policies are if the DNC cares so much.
Lucca tries to walk his point back by saying Democrats are trying, but one of the mailroom guys pipes up and says he doesn’t feel like the Party is talking to him or giving him a reason to miss work to vote. It is ridiculous that election day isn’t a national holiday.
Landau steps out for a moment and Adrian asks the room to tone down the DNC bashing. I feel like this is an unwinnable situation. If the people in the room speak up and say the truth it’s offending the client; if they don’t then they aren’t providing the insights needed. I know this plot exists mostly so our characters can have this convo but oof, this is not the right setting for this conversation. 
Marissa shows up in Julius’s chambers and he’s happy to see her. She says things at STR Laurie (or “STD Laurie” as the very mature RBL employees call it) are weird.
Marissa wants info on Marta’s case. Julius can’t find it in the system either and gets the same loud beep sound. Julius awkwardly denies ruling on it, then Diane walks in. Julius gets flustered and says he’s no longer on the case and doesn’t remember the case. “Are you fucking serious?” Diane responds. “Don’t swear at me!” Julius says. “I never used to swear, ever, but now I find it useful. People look at me and think I would never swear so when I say this is fucking nuts it has added meaning and this is fucking nuts,” Diane says. Love it. Also, I think TGF does a pretty good job of having some characters swear for impact and others (looking at you Lucca) swear all the time. 
Julius does NOT like being suspected and says to “talk to Adrian’s girlfriend”.
Meanwhile at RBL, the topic is now maternal mortality. A male employee mentions that black women don’t need to be mobilized (I assume he means because they are the most reliably blue voters) and that causes cross-talk. This is one of the more interesting “everyone at RBL debate!” episodes but I don’t think the writers will ever tire of showing that an issue is controversial by getting two sentences into a debate and then having it turn into cross-talk.
Jay jumps in and changes the topic to reparations. The room gets quiet. Lucca says it’ll never happen. Hey, Rosalyn is back!!! Lots of familiar faces in this room. 
Okay I am not going to transcribe this whole discussion but it’s interesting.
All three name partners get called up to talk to Mr. Firth. 
“Whenever I see offices like this, I always think that we’re all gonna be dead some day,” Liz remarks before Mr. Firth enters. Adrian and Diane laugh and Mr. Firth walks in and asks what’s funny. The joke doesn’t land.
Mr. Firth launches into another story I don’t understand or care to listen to. The real issue is that STR Laurie thinks that RBL is billing the DNC incorrectly (RBL is getting more than STR Laurie). STR Laurie isn’t supposed to know what RBL is charging as part of the transition plan in the merger, but Mr. Firth clearly does not give a fuck about honoring that agreement. Pretty clear who has power and who is backed into a corner. This agreement was supposed to “encourage trust” but something tells me STR Laurie doesn’t actually care about encouraging trust all that much. 
After the awkward meeting, Diane, who is just now hearing of the DNC’s business, asks Liz and Adrian if it is old business (RBL’s) or new (STR Laurie’s). It could be argued either way, Liz and Adrian admit.Liz is more concerned that STR Laurie is looking at RBL’s books when they shouldn’t be. She goes to put Marissa on the case.
Diane takes this opportunity to ask Adrian about his girlfriend. Adrian explains he just wants to keep his private life private. I’ve heard that one before. Adrian tells Diane about “Memo 618” and that it intimidated Julius.
CREDITS, FINALLY. I am going to take a break and watch Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, a show I’ve somehow gotten hooked on despite it being completely mediocre and something I would’ve dumped after three episodes in non-quarantine times. 
And I’m back, two days later lol
Bar-Swarm’s interface looks outdated. Diane knows how to use it, though, and asks the interwebs what Memo 618 is.
Meanwhile, Marissa refers to STR Laurie as “STD Laurie” in a conversation with Adrian. She doesn’t even realize she’s doing it, which makes the joke even better. Liz and Adrian are very amused.
Marissa narrows the potential list of STR Laurie (I gotta start shortening this-- STRL?) spies down to one, a Caleb Garland who is 39 years old and used to be in the Army.
Now Diane’s case is in Judge Hazelwood’s courtroom. Canning refers to the previous trial and Diane, knowing the last case had no paper trail, insists this is the first time the case is being tried. Canning doesn’t know how to respond and it’s pretty amusing to watch him squirm. Canning really is the perfect antagonist for this case. Kresteva would’ve worked too.
The Reparations convo, and cross-talk, continue. I hate to “case stuff happens” some of the most thought provoking stuff of the ep but, again, I have nothing to add.
Adrian mentions there’s a model for reparations in Chicago and tells the story and explains the model.
The debate Landau requested is too heated for him, because he totally didn’t expect that black voters are a diverse group with differing viewpoints, and Landau thinks the solution is… to add white people to the conversation for diversity. You know, to “gauge how the ideas are landing.” The ideas they are thinking through to help the DNC motivate black voters.
Mayyyyybeeee, just maybe, the problem is that this white dude is commissioning black employees of a law firm to do emotional labor while also treating them as a monolith and being afraid to actually listen to him? And that he’s making it seem like what black people have to say is only important if white people agree? Maybe just maybe that’s part of the problem too???
Caleb is peeling a rutabaga on a game; seems pretty silly. He and Marissa chat, and she asks him why he’s on the RBL floor before I can type out the same question. He tells Marissa he’s there as a spy but he’s not a very good spy. I’m like 99.9% sure Marissa says these same words to Alicia in season six when she shows up to be the bodywoman. 
Marissa and Caleb-- who no one even knows-- join the big DNC meeting because they are white. This seems like a good use of resources.
David Lee gets to be in the conversation, and manages to both snark and take it kind of seriously. Have we ever had it confirmed that David Lee is Jewish? I know Veronica made some comments, but Marissa’s comments here make it seem much clearer he’s supposed to be Jewish. 
Adrian tells a story that Vernon Jordan once told him, and the story uses the n-word. I think we may have heard this story on TGF before, does anyone remember?
Diane’s case is back. The actual particulars of it barely matter and I hope Marta gets more to do going forward and doesn’t just disappear. Judge Hazelwood, too, gets Memo 618, and things stop going Diane’s way. Hazelwood gets pissed when Diane brings up Memo 618 in court. She holds Diane in contempt and swears. Yikes. 
Lucca gets a call to go to the HR department that FINALLY exists now that RBL has corporate overlords. She’s there because there’s been a complaint about Adrian. Before hearing the details, Lucca’s asked not to share the details and she says she can’t promise them anything. HR still shares the complaint-- Adrian used the n-word. Lucca looks amused but HR is SUPER serious about this. A black man used the n-word. Seems like… not a big deal to me? Depending on the context, of course. 
Still no results for Memo 618. And when Diane searches “What is Memo 618?” (which is an extremely specific string but ok) her computer shuts itself off. Is… is that possible? I think I just have to accept that TGF is going to do whatever it wants with tech.
Lucca immediately goes to Liz and Adrian to tell Liz (while Adrian is conveniently there) about the situation. “Apparently STR Laurie has a zero tolerance policy on inappropriate language,” Lucca explains. 
Adrian suspects Caleb; Marissa disagrees because she trusts him already. (This is also making me wonder-- David Lee isn’t RBL, yet he was in the meeting… why?)
Marissa is then instructed to feed Caleb a lie.
Jay’s computer also encounters the issue (and all the accompanying sound effects) with Bar-Swarm and calls it targeted malware. 
Marissa, extremely clumsily (and potentially intentionally clumsily), feeds Caleb the lie. 
HR’s interviewing everyone. Most people say they weren’t offended; one woman says she thinks some people might not have liked it but she thinks running to HR is an overreaction. HR says they’re there to help and hold people accountable. Fine line between holding people accountable and making mountains out of molehills in an effort to be thorough. (Without seeing-- or remembering-- how HR ends up handling this I can’t really say they’re doing a bad job… though I feel like a situation like this probably doesn’t need to involve interviewing so many employees because one or two accounts should suffice to make it clear Adrian was telling a story and quoting someone. And also this does feel like a lot of white people who are unequipped to resolve workplace racial disputes.)
(Also isn’t the real HR problem that the employees were basically being forced into a conference room to have a debate about their own feelings and backgrounds?) 
ADDITIONALLY the HR lady is the scary-ass nurse from Evil. Yikes. That hospital episode is one of the more terrifying-- and interesting-- things I’ve seen in ages. 
Jay repeats the story to HR. They look surprised, like it’s the first time they’re hearing this. No one else told HR the story? 
Somehow this HR complaint gets back to Vernon Jordan. Ok, taking back what I said, this HR complaint has gone too far. I think they can hear from Jay’s story, which literally every RBL employee can confirm, what Adrian’s point was. And what does it matter if the story really came from Jordan or not?! This is egregious overreach that feels more like office politics than anything else.
Yeah, Adrian’s convo with Mr. Firth makes it pretty clear this is a power play to show Adrian he no longer runs things. It’s not really about his language; that’s just a pretext for STRL to send a warning shot. 
Now everyone has to take a class on racial sensitivity and Mr. Firth is lecturing Adrian about how “charged” the n-word is, which sets Adrian off. I feel like it’s pretty objective to say that Adrian knows the meaning and power of the n-word better than Mr. Firth. 
Adrian ponders quitting in one of his late night talks with Liz. I love their convos. They talk about their marriage (suddenly it occurs to me-- somehow it hasn’t before!-- that this is the kind of dynamic I imagine Alicia and Peter would have post divorce) as well as the topic at hand. Liz points out they’ll never fire Adrian for using the n-word in a quote because it sounds ridiculous and STRL has its own issues (they apparently took a group photo without black people and then PHOTO SHOPPED IN BLACK PEOPLE which… that’s worse, guys!!!). “They bought us to put us in their pictures,” they recognize. (They had to have known this going in-- still don’t quite understand why they sold; still don’t think the show will ever care to answer this question.) 
Liz tells Adrian to just do what he wants. 
Then Jay brings up the HR complaint in another group meeting and wants to know who filed the complaint. This ALSO seems inappropriate. 
Someone suspects David Lee; David Lee would never file the complaint because he hates HR. 
More interesting debate continues. Again, nothing to say, but really appreciate hearing all of this.
Oh now Landau is here in the middle of the intrafirm shitstorm.
It was Madeline, one of the equity partners, who made the complaint to make a point. Or at least it seems likely she did. She believes every black person should have a choice not to hear it at the workplace. I don’t really get an opinion here but that sounds like a valid point to me. It also goes back to the whole, “maybe a forced all staff convo about race is not a good idea…” thing. 
Adrian suggests that they could have talked privately instead of having it escalated to HR. His tone is kind of condescending but his point seems fair to me, though I think it’s up to an individual to decide if they think a complaint is for HR or not. If they don’t feel comfortable bringing up the point with their boss, that is what HR is for. 
It sounds like Madeline is a little bitter, too, about Adrian selling the firm. She’d be losing money, based on what we heard last week, so the bitterness makes sense. If she’s the one who submitted the complaint, it seems likely she had a reason to be upset with Adrian’s use of the word and also a point to make about how Adrian no longer makes the rules. 
Madeline also says that Jay bringing all of this into the open is called intimidation. I don’t think she’s wrong.
Landau, of course, sees all of this, and shuts things down despite Adrian and Liz telling him their employees are just “passionate.” Wow. This resolution might even lead one to think that having a law firm conduct an unstructured, seemingly mandatory debate about a personal and controversial topic is a bad strategy for getting things done! Who ever could have imagined it would lead to infighting and cross-talk? 
LOL at these sensitivity trainings and at Jay’s reaction to the watermelon example. 
Lucca is always so aware of rank in a really consistent way. It’s not so much that she craves status like an early season Cary-type might; she’s just very aware of where she ranks and who has power and what systems are at play. 
Adrian, Liz, and Diane (who’s barely had anything to do this episode) click through the sensitivity training slides very quickly. They’re definitely reading the slides.
Caleb goes to Liz and says he wants to be second chair on a case. Interesting. Curious where his character is going. 
Jay discovers the malware is coming from INSIDE THE OFFICE! It’s an STRL ploy! And we end with a very dramatic shot of Diane looking up at the ceiling. 
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randomgirlkensy · 5 years ago
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Not My Fault
James “Bucky” Barnes x Female! Reader (Sorry!)
Word Count - 2001 (wow)
Prompt - Because of you, I know what love feels like
Warnings - pretty much just cuss words
Hello! Thank you so much for reading! This is my first time ever posting an actually full story on the internet. This is for the 5k writing challenge by @my-emotional-self! Congrats to her! It took me a while to write this (as I took a 3-week break from it). This story was inspired when my mom went to the hospital. She’s fine now! ENJOY!
REPLIES ARE VERY WELCOME! CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM OR NICE ARE PREFERRED!
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Beep. Beep. Beep.
You don’t deserve this.
All Bucky can focus on is that machine, Informing him that it’s his fault. 
His fault on why you’re here. 
As the minutes passed, it becomes progressively harder to keep the tears in. His long hair hiding his face from all the eyes that peer in to check on you.
It’s your fault. 
This is the first mission he went on without Steve, and he messed it up royally.
She wouldn't be here.  
Nobody could get him out of the chair next to you, not even Steve. The guilt gets heavier as time ticks on. 
This is my fault. 
My fault. 
My fault. 
Slouch in the hard plastic chair. Memories kept playing in his head, the same moment over and over. The moment when it happened. 
I’m why she's here.
-_-_-_-_-
It should've been a simple undercover mission. In and out. Easy. Then the target, a HYDRA sponsor, a rich CEO Ben Drekins, was tipped off on your presence. He was having a gala at his home the night when it happened. The goal was to attain all his files in his study. Your job was to distract him any way you can so Bucky can get the information. 
In a fancy dress and in unbearable heels, you subtly make your way to the target. Ben Drekins was sitting on a barstool that’s at least half your bank account, drinking too expensive whiskey. Just like Tony, you thought, them and their rich men whiskey. He was too distracted talking to another rich man, with his rich men whiskey mind you, to notice your stride towards him, with a little extra shake in the hips. Even when he was facing out. When you reach them, you took the spot on the sponsor's right and asked the bartender for a margarita, and sat down on a barstool.
Drekins was the one who started the conversation with you, probably because I look like an easy lay. Jokes on him. “Hey gorgeous, why do you look so lonely tonight? You need someone to keep you company.”
Men like him are a huge turn off for you. If Bucky doesn’t get to him first, I’m gonna kill if he keeps this up. “Sure handsome, I will love to have your company. What do you have in mind,” just as you finish, the bartender sets your margarita in front of you. The man he was talking to left by now.
“I have a few ideas in mind,” he smirks. Barf. 
Ok, Buck, the faster you get this done, you can finally get the girl. If I can ask her out. Bucky manages to sneak out the ballroom, which wasn’t that hard in the first place. The mansion is more like an old Victorian manor then most fancy mansions rich people own.
One left turn, then a right, another left, then the third door on the left to Drekins office. It should be easy, Bucky thought.  Just after the right turn, he notices a guard coming towards him. Bucky was quick to turn back that corner, but not quick enough to not be caught. “Hey, you! Get out of here! There’s someone here guys!” Damnit.
“Oh, yea.” Nods.
“Yes, she was gorgeous, not as much as you babe”
“Thank you.” Nods.
“But yes, she was nasty, in a good way of course. You know.”
“Mhm.” Nods.
“She was all kinds of kinky. Full-on BDSM and daddy name calling. Best night of my life, but you must be much better. Right baby?”
“Of course.” Nods
Bleach my eyes and ears. Drekins has been telling you stories about the pass fucks he had, with pictures, you shuddered at that thought. “You’re cold,” he shrugged off his black suit jacket to put around you, but before he could do that, a big man approached us and leans toward the rich man and whispers to him. Drekins face grows tighter, full of tension. “Eli,” fake name,” who are you really?” Oh shit.
“Who are YOU?” Punch. Silence. “I,” kick, “who,” jab, “are,” punch,” YOU!” Kick. Blood starts to gush out of his mouth. Stomach bruised at this point. Bones might be broken. Jaw dislocated.
The darkroom finally lights up when the door gets open, and a HYDRA agent’s head peeks in. “Jerry, the boss thinks a girl with him.”  Bucky’s face paled and his body stiffens up. Y/N.
“I told you, my name is Eli. Always been since birth. I mean I had been called Emily and Emma before.” SLAM! Drekins slams his hands on the metal table. For some reason, he has an interrogation room in his house. Probably for situations like this. “Oh my god, what the hell!”
His glare hardens. You just keep up the stupid act, just like you practice for. Just don’t die Y/N. I can do that. Right? “I seriously doubt that your name is really Eli,” he growls out, clearly pissed off. Hurry up Bucky.
Ok Buck, you just murdered to hydra agents just on the info that they suspect a girl to be on your team. They didn't even describe her before you reacted. God, you’re in love. Bucky rushes through the mansion trying to find the girl that the agent claims to have. Slamming randoms doors open. Almost there. 
“I SAID MY NAME IS ELI YOU SICK FUCK!”
Bucky slows, almost stoping, recognizing that voice. Y/N, he sighs in relief, a little too early.
BAM!
Nevermind. He runs again, towards the screaming, so far nothing deadly. He hopes so at least. 
“WHO. ARE. YOU. WORKING. FOR.”
“I TOLD YOU ALREADY!”
SLAMS! 
Bucky slams the heavy door open, which was stupidly unlocked. Drekins pulls a gun out, pointing it directly at Y/N. Before Bucky could get to him, the man shots. Hitting her straight through. Moments seems to slow down for Bucky. After he knocks the man unconscious, he rushes to his love. He applies pressure to her wound, calling for back up into his earpiece.
5 minutes and 43 seconds.
That’s how long it took for backup to show up. 5 minutes and 43 seconds. Too long. Way too long. He had to be forcibly pulled back from you. They hurried you out. “Bucky.” All he could focus on was the spot you were at. “Bucky.” He curls himself up in the corner, staring at the blood on the metal chair you sat on. “BUCKY!” He wakes up, time moving normally again. He looks up at the voice, noticing his best friend since the 40s, Steve.
“I failed her.” He whispers out, as he looks down again.
Steve crouches down to meet his face. “You didn’t though. She’ll get through this, you know she’s a tough gal.” Bucky smiles a little at that thought.
The beeping grew faster, snapping him out of his thoughts. The beeping can mean only one thing. Y/N. He looks at her. Her breathing seems to be faster than the last time he checked. 
“Y/N? Doll, can you hear me?” A large groan came out of her. “Yes doll, it’s time to wake up.” Her eyes start to open.
Brightness wakes you, and a quiet voice. Another groan comes out. Your eyes slowly meet Bucky’s. You try to talk, only to be stopped a hard plastic tube in your mouth. “Yea, I know. Let me go and get you a doctor.” He stumbles over an extra chair next to the door before leaving. You want to laugh, but that would cause too much pain. It took him about 3 minutes to return back with a doctor like he said he would.
“Just hurry up and get it out,” Bucky told the doctor to do as they enter. The doctor nods and came forward to get it out.
“Hello miss L/N, I’m Dr. Johnson. I need to get this tube out, ok? To make it easier for both of us, you’re going to have to cough while I do this.” You cough, as he starts to pull the tube out. The process was painful, and by the time it was out, you were actually coughing hard and crying a bit. The doctor looks to bucky, “I’m going to go and get her some water,” and with that, he leaves.
Bucky pulls a chair towards the uncomfortable bed. He pats your back, trying to be helpful. Once you caught your breath, he leans back. Then the thought came right back to his head. 
It’s your fault. 
You notice the shift in Bucky’s attitude, not that it was that hard to notice in the first place. Spy or not. He was quite obvious about it. He moves his chair all the way back to the wall, back where it was, and slouch again. He sighs heavily, “Y/N.” It’s your fault.
“Don’t you even dare to think that this is your fault, because it’s not. Not even in the slightest. You got that Bucky?” Voice rasped because of the tude just getting removed.
“But-”
“Don’t ‘but’ me, Barnes, you are not the one at fault. You tried to save me for this.”
“And failed.” He looks up, only to meet a hard cold glare, you will not let him feel guilty because of this. Bucky looks away instantly, not able to keep your eyes. 
“I’m still alive you idiot. I’m going to recover from this. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, hell, maybe not even in a month, but I will be better.”
His head falls, full of guilt. It’s still a shock to you to this day that you manage to hear his next sentence, as he said very quietly. “It missed your heart by just an inch. An inch. You could’ve died, and it would’ve been my fault!” You reach your arm out, hand towards him to take. ” As I said before, it is not your fault. Yes, the plan failed.” “Becua-” “Hush!” You snap, done with his angsty bullshit. “It is not your fault! Plans fail all of the time! That part of the job! Plans fail, and people get hurt.” He opens his mouth to protest, but you cut him off before he could say anything. “And none of that is your fault you ding dong! I love you for christ's sake! Why would I even think about blaming you for this!” That catches his attention, he raises his head to look at you. He hesitates a little before saying anything. “You… Love me?” She loves me?
You blush, rethinking your words. I do love you, you idiot. “Yes, why wouldn’t I. You are thoughtful, thinking about everyone. Even when you feel terrible, Like when I woke up, you still cared for me, even when you feel guilty. You always looked out for me. You make me coffee when I’m worn out from training with Natasha. You make me dinner, even if it’s roman noodles because you’re a shit cook, after a stressful day. You’re always there when I need to talk things out. You’re right next to me during movie night, letting me cuddle you once I fall asleep. You’re always there, and because of you, I know what love feels like, and I never regretted a day since when I meet you.”
Throughout your speech, tears come back to Bucky’s eyes. Never had he thought someone would say that to him, especially after HYDRA, no matter how much he hoped for. But here you are, pouring your heart out to him, he doesn’t know how to react. He grabs your open hand, leans forward to kiss you. Warm lips meet yours, and your eyes flutter shut. His lips are kind of chapped, I going to need to get him some nice chapstick once I leave here if we continue to do this.
 He pulls away, cheeks flushed like yours. He rests his head on yours, full of love. “I love you, too.” 
Maybe, just maybe, it’s not my fault after all.
LIKE IT? REPLY AND LIKE! I really hope you enjoy this!
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leviathanpotato · 6 years ago
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Reflections - Young!Remus Lupin x Werewolf!OC
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PART 8
part 7     6      5      4      3      2      1
Sorry I vanished for a bit. There was an incident that distracted me for a while. I am glad to finally say that this story is complete. To be honest, I’ve had a few wobbles with this, but I guess I’m kinda happy with it now. Enjoy it.
Ten letters arrived for Elise in the post the next day; each one was more degrading than the next. There was one that stood out in particular. The calligraphic green ink of Dumbledore’s writing was on the envelope. After reading it, she raced up to his office, where he greeted her kindly, despite both knowing there was nothing good coming from their meeting. She listened to his words echoing around the dream, only this time she desperately wanted it to be a dream, she couldn’t face the reality. When they finished, she returned to the letter. She read it again and again, crying a little more every single time.
She screamed, ripping up everything into tiny pieces and shoving it into her trunk. Then she kicked the trunk across the room. Her heartbeat was thudding rapidly. She waited a second for the blood to stop rushing in her ears before she climbed down to the common room.
All the marauders except for Remus were sitting in the room, laughing with each other. Elise smiled painfully and headed over to join them.
The fire was gently crackling as usual and the midwinter sun had already set, despite it having just gone 4 o’clock. The snow still fell, and had created a huge mound of white fluff on the windowsill.
Elise pulled her robes tighter around her, shivering slightly as she sat down next to Lily. She pulled out some last minute homework and began to write. She could hear the others whispering argumentatively, whilst Lily tried to get them to stop. Earlier, she’d had a quiet word with Lily, not wanting any of them to bring up the dance. The three boys started a silent rock paper scissors competition. Whatever it was for, Sirius lost. He coughed loudly, drawing Elise’s attention.
“I have a serious question” Sirius asked.
“Go on” Elise started wearily. She knew Sirius could ask some very questionable questions.
“If…and this is an extremely big and hypothetical if… If you and Remus had kids together-”
Elise choked on air. “What?”
Sirius smirked. “I’m not finished. If you were pregnant, and you transformed, would the foetus also transform? Like, what would happen if you gave birth on a full moon?”
Elise dropped her quill, staring into space. If anyone else had asked that, she probably would have hexed them until they were just a big unidentifiable blob on the floor, but for some reason she felt her anger dissipate. There was no mocking tone in his voice or disgust in his eyes. She’d never had someone be genuinely curious in her condition. If anything, she felt better than before. She was free to talk about herself for the first time ever. “I…” she pressed her fingers to her temples in deep thought. “Stop, this hurts my mind”
“If dogs have litters of puppies, would you have litters of babies?” James piped up.
Elise threw an inkpot at his head.
“You can name them Sirius 1, Sirius 2 and Sirius 3” Sirius went on, ducking as Elise charmed the pillows to chase him around the room.
Remus wandered in. He took one look around the room. Peter and Lily were doubled over laughing, Sirius was being chased by floating pillows and James was dripping in ink. Meanwhile, Elise was trying to clear up a pile of books that had been knocked to the floor.
“Come on girls, we’re leaving” Sirius shouted as he exploded the last of the pillows. He sashayed out, followed by James and Peter. Remus watched them leave, before running over to help pick up the books.
Elise grabbed his wrist, smiling sweetly. “I can do that, go to the others before Sirius does something stupid.”
Remus laughed, accidentally inhaling part of his chocolate. “When doesn’t he?” He joked softly, before walking out of the portrait hole, waving, and lightly sliding it closed.
Elise beamed at him, waving back, still staring for a good thirty seconds after he’d gone before turning to a giggling Lily.
“Shut up.” Elise snapped, hiding a smile behind her book. Her face flushed red.
“You are going to be such a cute couple.” She smiled. The smile slid off her face when she saw Elise’s face fall.
“What’s wrong?”
                                        ------------------------------
The Christmas holidays came around, and all the students were gathered on the train. Elise had spent the time leading up to Christmas with the marauders, making the most of them. She felt no joy that Christmas had finally arrived, instead she felt a sinking feeling dragging her down. After hiding in the toilets, she shut herself away inside a compartment, closing the blinds. She couldn’t take it.  All the children around her were laughing and playing. The first years were running giddily up and down the corridor. To her, their bubbly excitement sounded like forks being dragged down a plate. Elise grimaced, how could they all be so happy as her world was crashing down? She noticed how students she’d never met made sure that they stayed at least two metres away from her, as though they thought she would jump on them and try to eat their face. The kids in her compartment ran out when she entered, as though she carried a plague.
Irritation simmered in her veins. She ignored it until she felt a stabbing pain in her palm. Looking down, she saw blood trickle down where she had gripped her bag strap so tightly, the corner of the buckle had torn her skin. Hissing, she dropped her bag and started to lick the wound clean. She pretended not to hear the whispers from passers-by.
“Are you okay?” A warm voice interrupted her.
She looked up to see Remus sticking his head through the door. She nodded, not making eye contact with him.
“I’ve been looking for you for ages; do you want to join us in our compartment?”
Elise nodded. After taking her stuff, she tried to slide past him and walk off, but failed when he joined her, matching her hurried pace. Neither of them said a word, just walked in a looming silence. She could sense the questions on his mind, hoping that he’d keep them silent.
“Is-“
“Everything’s fine, Remus.” Elise snapped coldly, cutting him off from saying any more. She sensed his hurt gaze as they continued to amble up to carriage.
“Eli-“
“REMUS” She screamed. He stopped walking. Elise’s hand shot up to her mouth. She cried. Remus grabbed her and pulled her into a long, warm hug. The snow fluttered against the window and Elise cried harder, but silently. He rubbed her back gently with his hand, soothing her.
Eventually, they let go. Elise’s hands trailed in the air, unready to end the hug. Remus took her torn hand in his and kissed it softly.
“I’ve been expelled.” She told him.
Remus dropped her hand like it burnt his skin.
“What?”
“The parents don’t want me at the school. The governors signed an order for my expulsion from Hogwarts because I ‘pose a significant danger to all pupils and staff’” She muttered bitterly. “They say there’s there’s strong evidence linking me to dark magic. I won’t even get to keep my wand.” She sobbed, pulling it out of her robes and gripping it in her hand.
She thought back to the day she got it. She remembered how the midsummer sun beamed down through the windows of Ollivander’s, illuminating the dust in the sunbeams. A young Elise with bright red hair in need of a trim was clutching a wand, watching in awe as it sprayed blue and gold sparks across the room - Applewood, eleven inches, thin and swishy, with a fresh unicorn tail hair. It was perfect for her. Only now that it was being destroyed could Elise truly understand the connection between a wand and its witch. She felt like she was going to lose a part of her – her longest companion, who had been there through it all, was about to be snapped to pieces.
Remus paled. “They can’t… You don’t even have much time left at school” He stammered, but Elise shook her head, placing a finger to his lips.
“There’s nothing I can do. Dumbledore tried to help but they won’t listen. No one will listen to something like us Remus, especially with my aunt.” She pressed.
“But…” Remus started, but then he looked down at his shoes in defeat. The train was slowing to a stop. The familiar yellowing brick slid into view from the window. The platform started to trundle past, tarnished trolleys were strewn across the concrete and parents were struggling to restrain their ecstatic children.
Elise felt the seconds drag on. This was it - the end of the line. She counted for what seemed like hours until the train jerked to a stop, its whistle screeching in the distance. Elise closed her eyes, not wanting to cry. She sighed, stepping aside as younger students sprinted off the train. She could see her parents waiting with tired eyes and dishevelled hair, panic written on their faces.
Elise felt her feet grow heavier as she stepped off the train and walked towards them.
“Wait.” Remus grabbed her arm, stopping her. “I…” He glanced from her to her parents in the distance. “I think I love you.”
Elise smiled painfully. “Well, Mr Lupin, I think I love you too.”
“You can’t leave.” He begged, pulling on her sleeve. She could see the heartbreak in his eyes. She shook her head slowly.
“I’ll write to you.” He said desperately.
Elise couldn’t hold her smile. It dropped into a pitiful gaze She placed a hand on his cheek. “Remus… A werewolf in Hogwarts. It’ll be in the Prophet. Most people already know because of what happened at the dance. I’m a known werewolf with muggle heritage. My blood is about as filthy as it gets and I have close relatives who are death eaters – we have to go into hiding.” She explained. She could feel herself choking up. She hated having to watch as Remus’ face whitened, she could see him breaking on the inside.
“Just my luck isn’t it. I get a crush on the sweetest, funniest girl I could imagine. A girl who truly understands the pain I go through and makes me feel like I can actually live with my condition. A girl who is so unique and beautiful and reminds me that it is possible to keep fighting even when the ones we love don’t take our side. Then when I realise I love her she has to leave.” He told her. “I’ll find you, when this is all over.”
Elise let out a bitter laugh. She couldn’t imagine a life where the world wasn’t going to shit. “Promise?” She asked.
Remus cupped his hands around her face. He hesitated briefly, giving her a chance to move, before pulling her towards him. He kissed her softly. It was bittersweet. Elise felt the joy of finally kissing her crush alongside the devastating realisation that she would probably never see him again. Their lips moved slowly and delicately, the pair of them savouring the moment, but when they sensed her parents edging closer, it became rougher. Elise’s hand jumped to his hair and she pulled him closer, desperate to keep on feeling - clinging on to her final hope of life and love. He did the same, running his hands through her knotted red locks, almost pushing her into him. His hands clutched her with needy desperation. She pressed her chest against him as they backed into the wall, draining each other of every drop of passion. She clung on to the final burst of colour before they separated, and her world faded back to the shades of her black and white television screen.
“I promise.”
Le Fin
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shadowcatgirl09 · 7 years ago
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New Beginnings~Chapter 4
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TVD Season 6 AU: After a few too many startling revelations Bonnie is fed up and decides to leave. Enter the little town of Havencrest, a quiet place, perfect for settling down away from everything. Or so it's thought; Bonnie left the constant chaos that was Mystic Falls only to get mixed up in something much darker.
Whoo another update! Don’t have much to say other than happy belated BonKai day family! Ngl I was super engrossed in other stuff and I had to work that day so yeah. Hopefully this makes up for that somewhat. Without further ado please enjoy the chapter. Italics=Thoughts/flashbacks. TW for mentions of animal abuse and violence
@kingcobrakai1972, @fuckitimfangirling, @bonkaishippersclub, @needlexheart, @madeunmexico, @bonkai-reign, @bonkai-diaries, @a-bonkai-fantasy225, @albion19, @leianaberrie, @scorpio-karma, @mysticfalls-originals, @nys30, @jemicloisfan, @1972trash, @bonwhynot, @bonkairedemption if I forgot to tag anyone please let me know
Though some people were still staring at Austin's retreating back, a handful were giving her scornful glances. Bonnie was starting to become agitated. She sat down on a bench in the park and began tapping her foot impatiently. Rusty scratches against her leg for attention, she picks him up and puts him in her lap. "I can say I have an alibi, which I really do, but magic was more than likely involved in this."
Noelle was tapping her chin, pacing back and forth thinking of solutions. "True, but we need undeniable proof."
Sian's entire being radiated sadness. "She doesn't deserve this. She's innocent."
Caleb's shoulders are tense, watching the townspeople warily. "We know that but unfortunately the combination of Bonnie being a witch and her familiar being him is going to have the town on edge."
Bonnie grew apprehensive. "What's wrong with Rusty?"
There was a beat of silence until Sian spoke up. "A lot of the townsfolk believes he's a curse."
Bonnie's eyes narrowed, leaning forward head slightly tilted. 
Sian clenched the knapsack closer to herself. "He wasn't always a chow chow puppy, some months back he was a pitbull. A-uh-a guy who was into dog fighting wanted to use him but Rusty disobeyed one too many times and he...killed him."
Noelle closed her eyes, lips pursed in anger while Caleb just watched for Bonnie's reaction. The young woman grasped Rusty to her; Harsh breaths coming out of her nostrils. Rusty whined attempting to twist his little body around to reach her face.
"That wasn't the only time...I think he died twice before that too. He never really made it to adulthood." Sian buried her face into her bag murmuring. "Like owner, like dog."
Caleb put a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you should head on home."
"I'm fine Caleb." Came her curt reply.
Noelle finally opened her eyes. "No Caleb's right." She turned to him. "Take her out of here, there's too many emotions swirling around."
"But Noelle!"
"I said no."
Sian just cast sorrowful eyes at Bonnie and then buried her head back into her bag so only her copper hair was showing.
"I'll take her with me to the scene, see if we can find something."
"Okay. Keep us posted." 
"Will do. Be safe." With one last look at Bonnie he grabbed Sian and ran off in the direction of a small side street.
After watching them leave Noelle turned to Bonnie. "Let's go get your hair done."
"You can't be serious." Even Rusty's head tilted in confusion at Noelle's ridiculousness.
"As serious as a heart attack." She peered at Bonnie closely. "Have you ever had cornrows before."
"No."
"Individuals? Locs? Weave of any kind?"
"No, no, and no."
"Yeah that won't do. Get up." Rusty barked twice which Bonnie assumed it meant hell no.
"Look Noelle I'm a suspect in a murder I can't just be prancing around getting my hair done."
"Yes you can! This will get your mind off of things and a chance to try something new with yourself!"
"Someone you knew personally just died. How can you be so blase about this?"
"Because, one, changes for the better start small. Or in your case big and then small. You already got out of a toxic environment." She sat down beside Bonnie. "And two, she was already dying. She had maybe another week or two tops."
Realization dawned on Bonnie. "You're giving me another alibi in case something happens again."
She made finger guns. "Now you got it." 
"Did anyone ever tell you you're annoyingly persistent."
"So I've been told." She stood up and faced Bonnie holding her hand out. "Let's go."
"I'll go but I'm not taking your hand."
"Sweet! Come on my car is parked on the other end of the park."
"Cool, but we have to stop by the pet store first. I need dog food for Rusty."
"Fine by me."
                                                          -----
Elias takes a swing at Kai but he's distraught and his eyes are blinded with tears so Kai has no problem avoiding him. When he swings again Kai grabs his arm twisting it behind his back then snapping it at the elbow. At this point he's past caring if anyone hears him as he drags Elias kicking and screaming to the pool.
Using his bulk, Elias manages to break free of Kai's hold only to be kneed in the stomach and elbowed in the face. Seeing as that wasn't taking him out Kai gripped Elias's hair and slammed his face into the diving board. With his knee in his back he then heaved his brother's head into the pool.
"Come on Eli, you're a good swimmer, let's see how long you can hold your breath under water. Last I heard it was for a solid seven minutes! Let's try for eight!"
Elias is desperate now and his thrashing around is getting worse, Kai presses his knee down harder and uses his other to break his brother's good arm. Suddenly Kai feels it, the approaching footsteps followed by shapely brown legs. When he looks up he's staring directly into a pair of moss green eyes. No anger, fear or hesitation; Just disgust and disappointment. He's used to Jo giving him that look over time but with her it's different. It's like his heart is being squeezed and his ears start ringing and everything around him becomes a white noise save for her voice.
"You're a monster. You don't deserve forgiveness."
Kai catapults awake to the smell of something burning and quickly put out the flames attempting to scorch the place. Glancing downward he notices that the journals remained intact. Checking his phone it reads 7:20pm, which means he was reading for at least five hours and passed out for the rest.
His phone vibrated with an unknown number popping up. With a degree of caution he answered. "Hello?"
"Kai? It's Mahir. I've been trying to get in contact with you for hours. I thought you got caught in a trap Joshua set or something."
"Uh yeah. I got distracted reading." He's still disoriented from getting up so fast. "You okay? You're less talkative than usual."
"I'm fine. How did you get my number anyway?" Kai had sent a coded message to the coven in order for them to show up at the restaurant.
"Josette."
"Mahir, what did you do?" His voice held a warning tone. In spite of Jo wanting nothing to do with him he still held a soft spot for her.
"Chill, I just tracked her down and asked for it. Her husband though...he may have a cracked rib or two. My presence caught Josette off guard and he reacted accordingly which put him in his current predicament."
"And Jo?"
"Gave me your number and told me she never wanted to see me again."
"Okay good. As long as Jo's fine I don't care what happens to her husband."
"Heh. Sooo...how is it?"
"The things I found in here are indescribable! This place is just wow! But Mahir the craziest part are the journals I found here. They detail the Salem Witch Trails and the cause behind it."
"What? I thought that was mass hysteria."
"Same here but my ancestor Alastor described something completely different. He said something possessed a normal human woman making her act differently, unusual fits of anger, muttering strange things, and contorting her body into odd positions. It's recounted as a black mist that mostly wreaked havoc at night."
"Save for the black mist part you just described The Exorcist." Kai could hear air whipping in the background Mahir must've been outside driving. "That's crazy."
"Tell me about it, Bon-I mean a Bennett ancestor was blamed for obvious reasons along with some others."
"Anything else?"
"Apparently my ancestor was super thirsty. There's as many entries about Ana Bennett as there are about the trails."
Mahir let out a hearty laugh. "Seems like that runs in the family. Joshua was like that with Sheila, though he hid it well."
Kai's lip curled in disgust. "I did not need that picture."
"I don't know man I met Lucy Bennett once and let me tell you I would gladly bring her into the family."
"Stop!" Kai grabbed the suitcase he brought with him and opened it. "Look I'll call you back when I land back in Virginia."
"Cool. Catch you later."
"Later." Kai started stuffing it with the journals putting the Bennett one on top. "I'll just keep this with me for the time being." Looking back he also grabbed the Tesseract as well. He had a strange feeling he would need it.
Stepping out into the crisp night air Kai replaced the magic barriers and glamour back on the place and headed to the ferry.
                                                          -----
Elena runs into the room, phone in hand. "Damon I found them. They're...on the campus."
"Gee why didn't we look there first." He sat on the couch watching tv.
"Because someone was too wrapped up in his mother and then Bonnie." Elena spat.
"Why don't you want to bring Bonnie back Elena? She's our friend." He smirked. "Are you jealous or something? We did get pretty close in the prison world."
Elena was starting to question what she saw in him. "No Damon I'm not jealous. It's just that when I last saw her she looked so tired, so done with everything. As much as it pains me to say it I-I think she's better off without us." She hung her head sadly.
Damon turned the tv off. "That's bullshit Elena and you know it! She belongs here with us!"
"Not if it's only killing her inside! Bonnie's too good, to nice to say anything, but I watched her leave, Damon not you. And besides why are we bringing her back anyway? Just so she can fix all of our problems like always? Sacrifice herself like always?" Tears were beginning to pool in her eyes. Bonnie leaving of her own accord struck something in her. She was used to her friend just bouncing back from whatever was bothering her, ready to help the team. 
Damon got up from the couch. "Elena, where is this coming from?"
"From watching my best friend leave everything she has ever known and loved behind just to have peace. Realizing that she did so much for me, hell everyone in this damn town, while I barely did the bare minimum for her." She fell to her knees sobbing. "I was so self absorbed I didn't even acknowledge Bonnie's problems. Or her constant suffering."
"Elena." Damon crutched down placing a hand on her shoulder. "Bonnie chose to do those things because she loves you. Like when she sent me back to you."
"But she shouldn't have had to do it in the first place. We should've done better Damon." She shook his hand off and stood up wiping her eyes. "Get up we have to get Stefan and Caroline to turn on their humanity before anymore people die."
                                                       -----
The salon they were heading to was on the other side of town. Bonnie was eyeing the small houses they were passing along the way, taking mental notes of the ones that had a for rent sign. Rusty, who wore himself out playing, was sleeping soundly in the backseat.
"Question."
"Shoot."
"How long does this process take?" Bonnie didn't want it to take too long as she wanted to check out those houses. The idea of the duplex sounded nice but she wanted privacy.
"You can't be serious." Noelle's tone was somehow both mocking and curious.
"Yes I am. I've never had any of those hairstyles before." She pointed to her bob. "It's always been like this and or curly."
Noelle side-eyed her. "Oh wow, but to answer your question it depends what hairstyle you get and how many people are doing your hair."
"Hmm. Do you have a book or magazine?"
"For the hair? Yeah there should be a magazine or two in the backseat."
Instead of just reaching back she used magic to put it in her hands. Bonnie began flipping through it, coming to a stop at a particular hairstyle. When they came to a light she pointed to it. "I think I want this one. The faux locs."
Noelle gasped. "I think that hairstyle would look gorgeous on you! Did you want shoulder length or long?"
"Long. I haven't had long hair in a while." Not since before she died for the second time. The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. “Never again.”
"Eighteen inch would probably be best then." Noelle parked in front of a small african salon/barbershop. "We're here."
Bonnie peered at it from the passenger seat. It's a nice two story spot between a clothing boutique and a shoe store. Houses lined the rest of the street.
Noelle turned to her. "You ready?"
She glanced back at Rusty's sleeping form. "As I'll ever be."
Noelle left the back window open a crack and together the girls sashayed into the shop. There were two other women getting their hair done, three of the hairdressers were free. The place smelt of incense and it gave off a relaxing feeling. 
Bonnie cleared her throat and spoke. "Hi. I would like to get my hair done in this style." She pointed to the the magazine she held up.
One of the middle aged african women smiled at her. "Sure, do you want any colors?"
"Black with caramel highlights."
The woman waved her over and Bonnie sat down. "Did you wash your hair today?"
"No."
"Okay. So first I'll wash and blow dry it then we'll get started."
"Alright."
As the two women walk to the back of the salon a heavy metal tune goes off catching the quiet place off guard. Noelle gives an embarrassed smile. "Sorry. I'll be in the sitting area Bonnie."
Bonnie gave a thumbs up and laid her head back in the sink so it could be washed. In the process of getting it washed Bonnie could hear Noelle talking on the phone to someone. She could barely understand what was being said but she did recognize a few words from those anime that Jeremy used to watch.
"Arigato, ja matane." Noelle hung up and sat down next to Bonnie.
"You speak japanese?" Bonnie figured Noelle was mixed but not with japanese.
"Fluenty. My mom taught me."
"Cool."
5 minutes later Bonnie was in the chair getting her hair done. 10 minutes later another woman joined her speeding up the process. Noelle's phone rang again and she side-eyed Bonnie.
She raised an eyebrow in question.
"It's Caleb."
Bonnie went to lean forward but remembered there were people in her hair. "Answer it!"
She muttered a spell and put the phone on speaker. "Find out anything?"
Sirens could be heard in the background where he was. "We found another one. This time there are organs missing."
She groaned. "Who was it?"
"Mr. Shaw." Caleb said solemnly.
Noelle closed her eyes in reflection. "He was the local bookshop owner." She said to Bonnie.
"Gutted him like a fish. I'll be shocked if they get any-oof!"
Noelle and Bonnie could hear a deep voice reprimanding him followed by a quick sorry.
"That was the chief." The sound of the poilce chatter grew further away. "Anyway when Sian touch the body she freaked out and then fainted."
"What?!"
"Calm down. She of course then woke up spouting gibberish and promptly vomited. Other than that she's fine."
"Did you manage to catch anything?"
"Uh, let me see...here it is! She said something about a messenger of the U.M.N and don't leave the castle."
Noelle looked like she seen a ghost. "The U.M.N is involved?" Her hands begin to shake causing her phone to clatter to the floor. "No." Her voice came out in a whisper.
Bonnie was bewildered. "Noelle? What's the U.M.N?"
She wasn't responding just beginning to hyperventilate.
"Noelle!" Bonnie grabbed her arm and shook her.
"What?" Her eyes still looked haunted but otherwise she was coherent.
"What's going on? You were starting to panic."
"The Underground Magic Network." She blurted it out.
"Yeah you said that."
"They're a massive group of dark magic users that terrorized Havencrest twenty years ago." She bent down to pick up her phone. "Probably trying to release that thing under the church in the woods."
"What thing?" Something besides Rusty was calling her here, that much she knew for sure.
Noelle met her gaze. "The black mist that caused the hysteria of the Salem Witch Trials. The six covens sealed it in this town."
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hyunjoorv · 4 years ago
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ip3 ep2
it was such a pain in the ass! the second episode was really there to weed out the weak and boring from the head of the pack, and that was fucking obvious at this point. hyunjoo was at least grateful that when they’d given him the list of songs before he came on the show, he’d glanced at a few of them. this was so much worse than last season. 
his group could have been better. three of his teammates didn’t speak korean very well, and eli was from liberty, which meant the kid was coming in half-blind. and maybe the season prior, he’d be livid and claim that the show was rigging it against him, but he’d done a lot of growing in the past year, believe it or not. they could still kick ass. they just had to go about it differently. and he’d have to be the one to do it-- no one else in the group really could. 
the first thing to do was to change the choreography. some of the songs were fine, but most of them were too complicated for the team he was given. trying to learn all of those was a recipe for disaster, but this was idol project. if you weren’t crashing and burning, you were essentially safe. the first night, he stayed up all night watching the performances and figuring out how he could cut corners-- eliminate excessive movement, simplify the more complicated moves, put himself center for the harder parts.... and sure, he was exhausted when they started rehearsing, but he was glad he did it. it was so much easier to help his team with the new shit he came up with. maybe he needed to look into being a choreographer or something.
plus, if he was the leader, he got to pick his parts for every song, so that was totally a bonus.
the hiatus was disgusting and honestly, kicked any momentum hyunjoo thought he had out the door. higher continued on with regular training, but it felt like a fever dream. especially with how much work he’d put into the arrangements. he never put work into anything, and now he almost had nothing to show for it. thank god they were brought back.
when it’s time for performances, he’s not sure if his group is ready, but there’s not much more they can do to prepare, especially with the break. on day one, they get assigned lion heart, and hyunjoo is in two minds about it; on the downside, he personally wasn’t  suited to the song at all. his voice was deep, his dance style was too powerful and sharp... it was a mess. he could do it, but he wasn’t comfortable at all. but on the upside, it would be good for his team. the choreography (especially after he simplified some of the positioning) was easy enough, and it allowed the others to show off their vocals, which he figured was good for eli specifically. it would set them off hot, they’d be happy, and be more likely to perform well. and by the end, he wasn’t thrilled with his own performance, but he thought overall, they were okay.
the next day, he’s more excited about the song. it’s definitely more in his wheelhouse, and something that he knows he can make sexy and engaging (it’s what he’s best at, after all). mirae would be tough competition-- she seemed to be this season’s eunsung. and his team would fall behind a little, he was sure. but they got day one. day two was hyunjoo’s. besides, the team four vocalist was shy. she was a good singer, but she didn’t fit the tone of the song at all. that was something in eli’s favor, at least.
he’s a little frustrated when the song is, once again, a girl group song for day three. he likes the song, and it’s nothing against the group. hyunjoo just knows that he has the deepest voice in the entire competition, so this makes it extra hard for him to shine. he tries to shake it off and have fun regardless, though. and sona has a pretty deep voice, so it’s less jarring than lion heart was.
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caindoglover · 7 years ago
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Cover
When The Darkness Comes by Shelby Merry is what I listened to while writing this. Honestly way more fitting for an aftermath to the freaking Claire incident, but my brain will not get on track and just do it already. I swear I'll get there though. lol
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12767841/16/The-Creepslayerz
Enjoy!
They go together, but very much apart. They enter the arcade twenty minutes apart and never play the same game at the same time. They don’t even linger within the vicinity of the other, usually a couple games away. Occasionally they’ll waste money on a game and only half play in order to watch the other from afar, but it just isn’t the same as those days they spend gaming at Eli’s house. It causes a painful pang in their hearts, but they know better than to do or say anything. They simply continue the routine for an hour, until they are running pretty low on coins.
Eli wanders toward the claw machine. It is the only one he hasn’t played and the only one he has no chance of winning. He stares wistfully into the container, surveying the tiny stuffed creatures from a minion to darth vader tightly packed together. He sighs. The odds are stacked high against him and anyone foolish enough to waste their money on it.
Steve grins and chuckles to himself as he wins yet another game. “Too good.” He spins around and struts to the center of the room to check and see if there are any other games he wants to play. He is pretty sure he has played them all now. Beat them all too. That’s when he notices Eli. He smirks. The dork probably wants one of those silly toys. It’s such a childish whim at their age. And that alone should be enough to keep Steve from going anywhere near El right now, but he’s gotten a little too comfortable with just walking up to his friend outside of school, and so he does just that. He stops just short of speaking, half afraid someone might wonder why he is talking to Eli and half because he doesn’t want to break the peaceful moment.
Unfortunately it is broken only a second later. “Check it out,” a boy jeers as they walk up. “Looks like little Eli’s still into dolls.”
Eli starts and glares at the boy.
A laugh bellows from the opposite direction as another boy comes and leans on the machine. “Cause the only reasons guys play this is for their girls. And I know he ain’t got a girlfriend.”
Eli ducks his head his lips curl up in a pout. “I could have a girlfriend. You don’t know.”
They burst out laughing. “You hear that? He could have one, he says.”
Eli clenches his fist and does his best to scowl back at them, but there’s no denying the hurt that flickers in his eyes. He wishes so badly to have Steve here to rescue him.
One boy’s lips twist into a malicious grin as he pins Eli beneath his black stare. “What do you think, Steve?”
Steve snaps to attention. What? No. His eyes widen. He knew he should have never wandered so close to Eli. Mistake number one. They kept their distance in public for a reason damn it. But now he has to answer. His heart beats faster. He can’t just ignore a direct question, especially from someone he generally hangs with at school. Generally picks on Eli with. He swallows hard. This could be it. He could choose to make this the moment he breaks cover. No longer cares what people think of him. But when he opens his mouth, “Probably a queer.”
Eli gapes and his heart plummets.
The boys continue to watch Steve expectantly.
Steve doesn’t want to, his heart rebels against his words, but he has to keep going, “I mean,” he scoffs, “have you seen the way he looks at Jim. Or acts around him for that matter.”
The boys cackle.
Eli is painfully short of breath and he struggles to keep his hands from trembling as Steve’s words sink in. The laughter echoes in his head and he feels himself shrinking second by second. His stomach twists itself into knots and tears blur his vision. He isn’t sure how long he can hold it together. He needs to get out. Out. Out. He bolts.
There is a pang in Steve’s heart as he watches Eli flee. He couldn’t see Eli’s face, but he sensed that Eli was more upset than usual. The faint quiver about his body was especially telling. He wants so much to go after him, to make sure his friend is alright, but he has a feeling going empty handed would be mistake number two.
So he approaches the claw machine. It isn’t much, but Eli was looking at them so it’s something.
One boy smirks. “Winning one for your girl?”
Steve blinks and hesitates for a beat. “Yeah.” He smiles and goes along with it. It’s easier that way.
It takes Steve way too many tries to get the stupid thing, especially with those idiots hovering over his shoulders and backseat gaming, particularly when they boo him for missing. Even once he manages it he has to endure a barrage of questions as to why in the world he’d go for the Star Wars one instead of something like a cute pink bunny. Was his girl seriously into that kind of stuff? He rattles off answers through grit teeth before getting out of there as fast as possible. He doesn’t have time for this. He needs to get to Eli.
He is so focused that he drives right up to the house, only realizing he broke their vehicle distance rule when he opens the door to find himself face to face with Eli’s mother. She pins him beneath a stare so full of hate that it makes his blood run cold. For a moment he is frozen, unsure of what to do next. Only able to stare into the eyes of the beast.
Angie sneers and turns hard on her heel. It’s the only way to hold her tongue. She liked this boy well enough. He was good Eli. At least she thought. But her boy just ran to his room crying with Steve’s name on his lips. And it’s hard not to judge that. And that’s why she walked away. To give Steve one last chance.
Steve lets out a breath and the tension drains from him. That…was a terrible sign. He casts a glance toward the stairs and his concern for Eli deepens. Eli’s mother doesn’t get mad, not like that. And she has never looked at him that way. Did he really upset Eli that badly? He shuffles up the stairs, stopping just in front of Eli’s room. The door towers over him as he stares, fear seizing control of his limbs and causing him to hesitate. It’s something he’s never felt when faced with Eli’s room. He swallows hard, swallows the anxiety, and enters.
Eli lifts his narrowed eyes to meet Steve’s, searing him with a scornful gaze.
Steve is taken aback, but the scorn is not enough to conceal Eli’s deepest emotion, and Steve is rattled to the core by the sheer amount of pain packed into those normally bright green eyes. Now they are puffy and coated by a sheen of tears. There is a slight quiver about his friend as well. “Eli,” he breathes, taking tentative steps forward.
“You ass,” he says through grit teeth. Says what he wanted to say the instant Steve said those horrible things about him but was too afraid, too emotionally volatile. Fragile. Still is. He can feel his throat tighten even now.
Steve sits next him. He frowns as he drums his fingers against the small toy in his hands. “You know I didn’t mean what I said, right?” His brow knit together. “But we’ve got to keep our cover. Otherwise people will figure out what we do.”
“When are you going to admit it? Just admit it already,” his voice is tight and cracks at the edges. His lips tremble along with his hands.
Steve stares blankly at him. “Admit what?” He searches Eli’s face desperately. His friend is falling apart at the seams and he can’t understand why. His words never did this before. And he even went so far as to call him a waste of space once!
“It’s not about cover. It’s never been about cover!” Eli yells. “You’re ashamed to be seen with me. For people to know you’re my friend,” he breaks into sobs and the tears spill down his face.
Steve’s eyes widen and his heart beats double time. What does he do? What the hell is he supposed to do? His mind goes into a frenzy. “N-No, that’s not true.” He reaches up to lay a hand on Eli’s shuddering shoulder.
Eli smacks it away. “Don’t lie to me.” He only cries harder, and every word stutters out of him, “I’m not stupid. You’ve hurt me enough today. Don’t call me stupid too.”
Steve swallows the lump in his throat as he watches Eli carefully, hung up on what exactly to do. What can he do? “Eli…”
Eli struggles to steady himself, wiping an arm over his eyes. “I-I thought I could live with it. Being…being your dirty little secret. But then,” his lip quivers and he tears up again. “You went and told them. You told. You knew how I felt about Jim. But you…” he buries his face in his hands and sobs harder.
Steve feels tears prick at his eyes and his heart cracks. He feels sick with himself. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice wavering. It’s all he can find to say that isn’t some feeble excuse. He could say again and again how badly he needs this – his stupid image. How it gives him power, a sense of being more important than he could ever dream of being anywhere else, makes him special. But for Eli, having a friend who is not afraid to admit it, that is just as important to him as Steve’s image. So he knows better than to even try. Instead he simply gets up, slowly, sets the toy on the bed next to Eli, and walks away.
Eli gnashes his teeth, barely swallowing a scream as he seizes the Vader plush and throws it at the wall.
It bounces off the wall and rolls back to his feet.
Eli crumbles, sinking from the bed and to his knees on the floor. “I hate you,” he says through his sobs. He grabs the plush and squeezes. “I hate you so much. I just-just…” he shakes his head. “Don’t understand.” He hugs the plush close to his chest and presses his face into it, his tears soaking the cotton. “Why am I not enough?”
K, remember the cute art that I said inspired last chapter? It was actually a claw machine and not a carnival. So I had it in my head boys would pick on Eli for looking at the toys in the machine, Steve would see it, win him something, and give it to him at his house to make him feel better. Cute, right? Just like the art. But then...my brain decided to angst it up. And Steve had to go and be an insecure jerk. I felt rotten getting rid of the cute completely by going with this horrible plot and so the short carnival chapter happened. Yeeeeah. In case the toy factor felt similar, that's why.
I hope you liked the Eli angst. Don't get that as much as Steve angst. Also this needs to be a thing that gets covered in the show later if Steve tries to keep their friendship on the downlow for too long. Cause, like, Steve is probably legit Eli's only friend. Yet he is ashamed to be seen as his friend in public. And that just hurts to think about. At some point Eli would need to get upset by it too, even if nothing drastic like this happened.
Also if you don't think Eli has a big crush on Jim then you are wrong and that is all there is to it.
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one-of-us-blog · 7 years ago
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Goodbye, Mr. Gordon (TGG, Season 7, Episode 15)
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Today Eli is forced to watch and recap Goodbye, Mr. Gordon, Episode 15 of the final season of The Golden Girls.  Dorothy is visited by an authority figure from her past who gives her special feelings, and she and Blanche also make an appearance on local television when Rose gets a promotion at work.  Will this be the beginning of bold new developments for the gang?  Keep reading to find out…
Drew still has a bit longer until he’ll be sharing his recap of The Man with the Golden Gun, but I’m curious to see if he remains on board with the Roger Moore era.  Until then, you’ll just have to settle for another post from yours truly, so let’s not waste any more time.  We’re off to Miami!
Buttocks tight!
Episode written by Gail Parent and Jim Vallely, directed by Lex Passaris
Dorothy receives a call that instantly gives her the giggles, and we learn that she has been speaking to her 11th grade English teacher, Mr. Gordon.  He recently moved to Miami and wants to get together for lunch.  Sophia explains the delighted laughter by revealing that Dorothy used to have a huge crush on this particular instructor, causing Blanche to reflect on an old fling with a Calculus teacher.  Rose also has exciting news, as she has been appointed the new Associate Producer of the Wake Up, Miami show, and she’s ready to dive in to her new duties.  The station is doing a show about women who live together, and Blanche and Dorothy agree to be a part of the panel.  But the show only needs two more panelists, so Sophia will have to miss out on a shot at local fame.
We next find Dorothy all dressed up for lunch on the lanai with Mr. Gordon.  She tries to pretend that she has no romantic feelings for her old teacher, and even agrees that Sophia can join them.  Mr. Gordon shows up, and Dorothy instantly melts when she realizes she now gets to call him Malcolm.  She introduces him to her friends, and he casually mentions that he’s actually only about six years older than Dorothy, so it wouldn’t be quite as creepy if he put the moves on her now.  Dorothy finds the notion of dating a teacher to be both dangerous and forbidden (in the most exciting way), which is a little troubling given her, you know, profession.  She tries to revoke her mother’s invitation to the lanai, but Sophia isn’t having it and grabs a photo album.
After Sophia has sufficiently embarrassed her daughter with traumatizing memories, Dorothy gets rid of her to have some alone time with Malcolm.  He says that she was always a lovely girl, and that he has never forgotten her.  While I’m feeling mildly uncomfortable, Dorothy has another laughing fit.  Mr. Gordon mentions that he is writing an article for a book review periodical, but he’s having some trouble getting started.  Dorothy, his former prize pupil, offers to help him out.  She invites him to the television station the next day, and says that she will lend him a hand after her segment.  They share a toast, and Sophia returns with more pictures.
At the television station, Rose is preparing for her big gig as Associate Producer, while Dorothy is in the makeup chair.  Malcolm shows up with flowers for her, and gives her a giant kiss.  Dorothy is so shell-shocked that it’s uncertain whether she will be able to form coherent sentences.  The time finally arrives, and Wake Up, Miami goes live on the air.  However, it quickly becomes evident that the topic of this episode is lesbians, and Dorothy and Blanche are on the panel with another couple.
During the first commercial break, Blanche lets Rose know that she’s pissed.  Every man that she knows is watching, for crying out loud!  Dorothy is out for blood as well.  Rose tries to explain that the showrunners wanted two women who love each other and sleep together, and well, she just misunderstood the situation!  Blanche and Dorothy are ready to walk out, but Rose says that she will be fired if they go.  They are displeased enough that they aren’t seeing the downside in this, until she points out that if she gets canned, she’ll just sit around the house telling St. Olaf stories.  Dorothy and Blanche resolve to just get through the experience staying as quiet as possible, but this turns out to be harder than anticipated.  Dorothy almost cracks and proclaims her straightness, but Rose begs her from the sidelines to keep up the charade.  The show quickly launches into audience questions, and Sophia has some fun screwing with her daughter, until Dorothy indirectly threatens her with the nursing home again.
Back at home, Blanche mentions that after their television appearance she has gotten tons of calls from female suitors, but none from guys.  She says that she doesn’t mind being labeled a lesbian, except that, well…she’s not a lesbian.  Sophia is still screwing with her daughter, but Dorothy is busy working on Malcom’s paper.  Sophia says that he is taking advantage of her just like he used to, when she would be tasked with grading papers and doing work on his behalf.  Dorothy admits that she has a crush on Malcolm, and the kiss took her off guard.  She recaps the experience for her friends, but Sophia is upset about the whole situation.
Much to Rose’s relief, Blanche soon forgives her.  It helps that she has a date set up with a young man, and feels back in the game.  Blanche’s date, Chuck, arrives at the door, and in only a moment it becomes clear that he wants to convert her to the world of hetero passion by allowing her to experience a “real” man who will serve her every need.  Disappointingly, Blanche plays along to take advantage of the situation and an attentive lover.
Later, Malcolm swings by the house to show Dorothy his published article.  To her dismay, it is identical to the draft she prepared to help him out.  He didn’t change a thing, but also didn’t give her any credit as the author (or even co-author).  When her disappointment becomes clear, Malcolm says that it won’t happen again.  She agrees, since she’s ready to boot his ass out of her life again.  With her old teacher gone for good, she tears up the article and tells Sophia she was right all along.  She has had a fantasy about Mr. Gordon for 40 years, and she’s ready to let it go.  Sophia says that it’s okay to keep a fantasy alive, just as she does with her pillows.
Over the credits, a lesbian from the Wake Up, Miami panel shows up at the house to ask Dorothy out on a date, after somehow hearing about her split with Blanche.  Dorothy simply tells her that it’s too soon.
The End.
Oof.  Well, I’m not exactly sure what to say about this one.  I suppose it’s good that lesbians were a major plot point of the episode, but I didn’t really like that the point was basically to laugh as Dorothy and Blanche cringe at the idea of people thinking they’re gay.  There were some chuckles to be had with Sophia in the Q&A session, but it mostly didn’t work for me.  I also didn’t care for the way things wrapped up, with Blanche waltzing off with the dude hoping to convert her (because that’s how things work), or even the credit sequence with the lesbian panelist swooping in on Dorothy.  And heck, that’s just the B plot.  I didn’t like the main storyline either, because even though Mr. Gordon was only six years older than Dorothy and there shouldn’t be any problem with their relationship now, there seemed to be a real undertone of her still being into her forbidden teacher, and him acknowledging that he always had his eye on her in a less-than-innocent way.  That element seems even more problematic given that Dorothy is now a teacher, and still feels that way.  Anyway, I’m probably making too big a deal of all of this, but I wouldn’t put this episode high on my list.  I’m going to be a bit harsh here and give Goodbye, Mr. Gordon a rating of 2 poofy hairdos out of 5.
Drew will be back soon with his take on The Man with the Golden Gun, the next James Bond cinematic adventure, and I’ll follow that up with my take on The Commitments, the next episode of The Golden Girls.  Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!
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pink-earmuffs · 7 years ago
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MULTI BOOK POST RIKKI - ARC via Netgalley READ: 10/1/17; RELEASE: now available 2.7/5 “Ever since junior high and an ill-fated game of seven minutes in heaven, Rikki Eisendrath and Sam Payne have hated each others’ guts. But when they end up at the same college—and the same dorm—they figure it’s time to declare a truce. They even become friends . . . sort of. But when Sam asks Rikki to model for his sculpting project, they start spending more time together—and her feelings for him get more complicated. She tries to focus on the guy she’s been crushing on instead. But Sam’s the one she can’t stop thinking about, even though their arguments are starting to heat up as much as the chemistry between them.With antagonism and attraction this intense, there’s bound to be an explosion. But when the dust settles, will Sam and Rikki be enemies, friends . . . or something more?” Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for this review copy in exchange for an honest review. I gotta say, as cute and quirky as this is (and I did enjoy it) there wasn’t anything especially stand out about this one. I liked that it “does what it says on the tin” and is essentially what it makes itself out to be. I did like that the novel had a lot of open mindedness for it but I don’t know if I’d read the next few. ———————————————————— BEGIN AGAIN - ARC via Netgalley READ: 10/2-3/17; RELEASE: 11/14/17 2.5/5 “He makes the rules. She breaks them all. A new start. It's the only thing keeping Allie Harper going, when she packs up her life and moves across the country to Woodshill, Oregon. She's about to start college, desperate to leave the ghosts of her past behind her. Even if that means never talking to her parents again.Now the hard part - finding an apartment before classes start. Just when it seems she'll have to live out of her car, Allie visits one more place. It's beautiful. With one exception: can she stand being roommates with campus bad boy Kaden White? Sure, Kaden is sexy with his tattoos and careless attitude, but he's also an arrogant jerk. With nowhere else to go, Allie moves in.The first thing Kaden does is make a set of rules. Either Allie obeys, or she's out: 1. Don't talk about your girl problems.
2. Keep your mouth shut if I bring someone home.
3. We will NEVER hook up. Easy enough, thinks Allie. Who would want to get involved with a brute like Kaden? But the more she gets to know him, the more she sees beyond his gruff facade. He, too, is harboring some painful secrets. For Kaden and Allie, it gets harder and harder to ignore the sparks between them. And the lines between the rules start to blur.” Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for this review copy in exchange for an honest review. I was surprised to learn this book is originally a German novel but I had fun reading a translation and unfortunately have to rate it low because the second to last half of the book seemed to be too repetitive for the main characters (who reminded me of characters from a Colleen Hoover novel) and it seemed to be intent on repeating itself for a while. The first half of the book was great and I did enjoy the characters but the dragging of the plot and novel didn’t help. ———————————————————— I LIKE YOU LIKE THIS - ARC via Netgalley READ: 10/4-5/17; RELEASE: 11/7/17 2.9/5 “In 1984 Connecticut, sixteen-year-old Hannah Zandana feels cursed: She has wild, uncontrollable hair and a horrid complexion that she compulsively picks, and as if that weren’t bad enough, her emotionally unavailable parents mercilessly ridicule her appearance and verbally shame her. Wanting to change her pathetic life, Hannah attempts to impress a group of popular girls―an ill-fated effort, except that she captures the attention of Deacon, a handsome and mysterious boy who also happens to be her school’s resident drug dealer. Suddenly, Hannah’s life takes an unexpected detour into Deacon’s dangerous and seductive world―but when her relationship and family unravel around her, she is forced to reexamine what she believes about herself and the people she trusts the most.” Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for this review copy in exchange for an honest review. I wanted to like this one and I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy read and while the authors writing style was easy and very worth the time I just found this to be too heavy. Maybe it had to do with events going on in my life but at points I couldn’t understand the focus on Hannah and Deacon’s relationship when most of the novel seemed to want to be about how Hannah has to go on her own journey and grow as a character. While a good debut I had issues with some of the content and probably won’t read the sequel even if there is one. ———————————————————— THIS MORTAL COIL - ARC via Netgalley READ: 10/5/17; RELEASE: 11/7/17 2.9/5 “In this gripping debut novel, seventeen-year-old Cat must use her gene-hacking skills to decode her late father’s message concealing a vaccine to a horrifying plague. Catarina Agatta is a hacker. She can cripple mainframes and crash through firewalls, but that’s not what makes her special. In Cat’s world, people are implanted with technology to recode their DNA, allowing them to change their bodies in any way they want. And Cat happens to be a gene-hacking genius. That’s no surprise, since Cat’s father is Dr. Lachlan Agatta, a legendary geneticist who may be the last hope for defeating a plague that has brought humanity to the brink of extinction. But during the outbreak, Lachlan was kidnapped by a shadowy organization called Cartaxus, leaving Cat to survive the last two years on her own.. When a Cartaxus soldier, Cole, arrives with news that her father has been killed, Cat’s instincts tell her it’s just another Cartaxus lie. But Cole also brings a message: before Lachlan died, he managed to create a vaccine, and Cole needs Cat’s help to release it and save the human race. Now Cat must decide who she can trust: The soldier with secrets of his own? The father who made her promise to hide from Cartaxus at all costs? In a world where nature itself can be rewritten, how much can she even trust herself?” Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for this review copy in exchange for an honest review. Urgh. I must have been going through too much last month because I even disliked this one. I read the description and it sounded a bit like X-Men so I thought I’d like it but alas, no. I did like the originality in this and what the “fix” and resolution was but everything else fell flat for me. Including Cat and Cole’s romance that involves a little bit of emotional manipulation and also the foreshadowing for what was going on was a little too obvious. I didn’t mind the science references but I just didn’t enjoy this one like I thought I would. ———————————————————— THE EMPRESS - ARC Via Netgalley READ: 10/6-8/17; RELEASE: 10/31/17 “It’s a new day in the Empire. Tyrus has ascended to the throne with Nemesis by his side and now they can find a new way forward—one where they don’t have to hide or scheme or kill. One where creatures like Nemesis will be given worth and recognition, where science and information can be shared with everyone and not just the elite. But having power isn’t the same thing as keeping it, and change isn’t always welcome. The ruling class, the Grandiloquy, has held control over planets and systems for centuries—and they are plotting to stop this teenage Emperor and Nemesis, who is considered nothing more than a creature and certainly not worthy of being Empress. Nemesis will protect Tyrus at any cost. He is the love of her life, and they are partners in this new beginning. But she cannot protect him by being the killing machine she once was. She will have to prove the humanity that she’s found inside herself to the whole Empire—or she and Tyrus may lose more than just the throne. But if proving her humanity means that she and Tyrus must do inhuman things, is the fight worth the cost of winning it?” Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for this review copy in exchange for an honest review. I enjoyed the first Diabolic but would have been fine had it been a stand-alone novel. I felt slightly underwhelmed. I really did enjoy the first novel so I knew what I was getting into reading this but the majority of the book kind of lulled but I was surprised by the ending. ———————————————————— THE NEW DARK - ARC via Netgalley READ: 10/13/17; RELEASE: 11/1/17 3/5 “She thought she knew who she was and where she came from. Then her home was destroyed. Her little brother gone. Her boyfriend taken. She owed her own survival to a mutant - the very forces behind the destruction that has ripped her life apart. Now Sorrel will never be the same again. There is no "Before", there is only "Now". Because now there's no internet, no TV, no power grid. Food is scarce, and the world's a hostile place. But Sorrel lives a quiet life in the tiny settlement of Amat. It's all she's ever known ... Until a gang of marauding mutants destroys the village, snatching her brother Eli, and David, the boy she loves. Sorrel sets out after them, embarking on a journey fraught with danger, spurred on by the thought of Eli and David out there somewhere, desperate for her help.” Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for this review copy in exchange for an honest review. I genuinely liked the concept and thought some of this novel was new in the sort of way that I hadn’t seen the subjects tackled that way before however the downfall is so many of the questions remain unanswered for the next installment. The pacing and characters are fast and well done and I was pleasantly surprised by a new twist on a slightly tired genre but I was also taken aback by how drawn out some aspects seemed to be.
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Fic: Tainted Love- Klaine (forced) (Glee)- Chapter One
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Title: Tainted Love ( AO3 )
Pairing: Klaine (forced)
Rating: NC-17, Explicit, Highest Rating Ever
Summary:  Semi-canon compliant up to The Break Up, though some differences occur. There are many secrets that Kurt Hummel has kept from every person in his life. He’s always had a certain darkness inside. A certain disconnect between himself and other living things. Anti-social personality disorder, perhaps? Ever since his mother died, Kurt lost the empathy he once had, and it only got worse when he dealt with bullying and fake friends. The world didn’t care about him, so why should he care about the world? The only people he ever truly cared about were his father and Blaine Anderson. So when Blaine cheated on him, when he stomped on Kurt’s heart like it didn’t even matter at all, Kurt did what seemed the natural thing to do. He took what he thought was rightfully his. And since Blaine didn’t know how to function with freedom, Kurt would do his best to strip that from him completely.
Warnings: Dark and Twisted Kurt, De-humanizing of character(s), past infidelity, explicit non-con, graphic violence, torture, kidnapping, abuse, body modification (forced), cruel and unusual punishment, mention of past actions of a similar nature
CHAPTER ONE: The Love We Shared
It was so hard for Blaine to function with his mind full of such negative thoughts. Sometimes he just felt like a zombie, walking aimlessly through life each day, day after day, never moving on, never getting over it. Just full of apathy and regret. Regret. That was such a prominent word in Blaine's vocabulary now. God, how he regretted what he did. Why had he even done it at all? It wasn't like sex with Eli was even good. Jesus. He just wanted Kurt back.
 He didn't know how to live without Kurt in his life. He'd just... He'd wanted someone like Kurt for so long. He'd waited for that perfect man, dreamed about him, wished and hoped and prayed to whatever deity might exist... And then he found Kurt, back in those safe halls of Dalton Academy. He'd found his missing piece, and what had he done?
 He ruined it.
 Blaine felt so damn stupid. He was a fool, and he deserved to hurt like he did. He deserved worse than what he felt right now. Honestly, Blaine deserved more than the cold nothingness he got from Kurt. He didn't even deserve simple ignorance- he should be slapped. Screamed at. Told he was nothing and then made to see it. Kurt should be throwing it in his face that he's moved on. Oh, God, what would he do if Kurt really has moved on?
 A sob choked its way out of Blaine's chest as the song played on in the background, filling his room with the creepy, lingering notes... "Once I ran to you, now I'll run from you, this tainted love you've given, I give you all a boy could give you, take my tears and that's not nearly all!" There was a beep from his security system, which his parents insisted on arming when they were away on business trips, but Blaine hardly noticed or cared. He hadn't even set the alarm- it was just the beep saying 'hey, you opened a door, dumbass,' but he hadn't opened a door, so the stupid thing must be glitching.
 Blaine really didn't care to find out if the family cat had figured out how to open the back door and escape or if the front hadn't latched when he got home from school. He didn't really care about much of anything anymore, and that was the problem. Once he'd fucked up with Kurt, once he'd destroyed everything he'd always wanted, he had... well, nothing. No will to keep going.
 Maybe he should lay off the depressing music and actually eat some dinner or something... take a little more care of himself... But he just... couldn't. He just didn't have the will. So, Blaine lay on his bed, staring unseeing at the ceiling, wasting away. He was barely eating anymore, hardly talked, never sang. He just... existed. And he didn't even want to do that. He just lacked the courage to kill himself, if he really thought about it.
 "You're pathetic, Blaine Anderson," he growled at himself, unused voice sounding like sandpaper over a pile of rusty nails.
 He was shocked when another voice, a familiar voice, answered him. "I would have to agree."
 Sitting up, Blaine gaped at the man standing before him, virtually between his knees where they were spread on the edge of the bed. He'd been lying there across the shorter part of the bed, not at all concerned with his own comfort. It was weird to jerk up and find himself so close to the ex who he missed so much, who he regretted losing so badly.
 "Kurt..." he croaked, eyes clouding over as he stared up at the boy from his dreams. God, he loved that man. He loved him so much, he wanted to latch onto him and never let go. "Oh, Kurt..." But why was Kurt here? He was supposed to be in New York. He wasn't supposed to be in Ohio now... He didn't come to Ohio to visit his boyfriend anymore, because Blaine wasn't his boyfriend anymore. Because Blaine cheated. Because Blaine was stupid. So, so stupid.
 "Oh, God, Kurt..." Tears flowed freely down his cheeks as Blaine peered up at the man he loved, the man he'd hurt. "God. I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry, God, Kurt... Please. I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry... so..."
 He blubbered. head falling as he cried harder, and Kurt's hand found its way to his hair, messy and broken free from his gel due to all the times he'd pulled at it in anguish just since he got home from school. "Shh," Kurt soothed, though the smile on his face, if Blaine could only see it, was anything but soothing. "Hush now, pet. It'll all be okay. I'll make it all better..."
 Then, Blaine felt a prick of pain at his neck, and as he tried to stop hyperventilating and just breathe and figure out what was going on, his vision started narrowing. The edges were blurring, then they were going black, then the floor wasn't there anymore and Kurt's voice was slurred in his ears, and the world went dark and quiet.
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