#and ESPECIALLY on being aro i didnt know that was a thing and even if i did i never would have identified myself if it wasnt for tumblr
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fr tho i think SLTs is actually such a good concept because im just thinking like yes we had the biology sex education of hormones are a thing and if you dont use a condom this is what your penis will look like but if anyone ANYONE had been open with me about what sexualities are and how they feel then maybe someone wouldve said 'hey this is something that you actually feel its not a thinking thing and yes, some people actually DO start this early. if you dont relate maybe look into the words asexual and aromantic' then i would have maybe felt less like a freak and not forced myself through both guys and girls trying to find something that actually felt right because right now nobody talks about it especially not when it comes to teenagers which is fair enough but also it really really would have been beneficial to me and im sure other people if it was discussed in a respectful controlled manner
#sorry if anyone doesnt know what SLTs is its a reference to heartbreak high#like i come from a very progressive open left family and surroundings#my school had p much a 0 tolerance policy for all things discrimination#yes we had a gsa but you dont sign up for that unless you already know something is up#so like i knew about the gay straight bisexual everything#and i even knew the word asexual#but since nobody ever actually explained anything about anything i just figured oh whatever itll happen im only 15 anyway#and ESPECIALLY on being aro i didnt know that was a thing and even if i did i never would have identified myself if it wasnt for tumblr#heartbreak high#idk if i should tag that#asexual#aromantic#aroace
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im over it but if she messaged me now i would respond in a heartbeat
#THIS IS WHY IM NOT FUCKIGN ALLOWED TO READ THROUGH OUR OLD CHATS#WHY DID I ?? DO THAT ??? ?#MY FRIEND WAS LITERALLY TELLING ME TO STAPWPOPPPPPP#she was literally in vc going “kaden put that phone DOWN! stop reading”#and i still read.#WHATS WRONG WITH ME#the worst part is i. should NOT. contact her again BC of this. i wouldn't know how to feel and it'd be that situationship all over again#BEING ARO IN A SITUATIONSHIP COMPLICATES THINGS SO FUCKING BADDDDDDDDDDDDD#truly the lloyd garmadon experience#was it casual when you told me i was “that person” for you and you wanted to be that for me too#was it casual when you asked me if i would let you in like a courting proposal#was it casual when you confessed through truth or dare and i didnt fuckkng react#was it casual when you told me months later that you used to like me again. and i said Me too#was it casual when you apologised because i said i couldnt believe anyone (you. especially you) would like me#was it casual when you asked for my number and the first thing you sent me was “im not sure why but i really like you”#“was it casual?” i ask. knowing full well it was not#GUYS IM FUCKING LOSING IT#this was years ago i have to get over it#I AM#IM OVER IT#i literally ammmm but sometimes it comes back up and i#and i lose my mind a little.#blabberpar#guys you need to MUTE THIS TAg#not even my first real relationship has this effect on me. what the fuck
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would love to know about your silly headcanons for characters!! i think it's interesting to hear how people see characters and interpret them! for example, i like to think meggy would have similar little aspects to inklings, even if she's a human!!
i have probably a million other headcanons swimming around in my brain as well with things relating to specific characters and how to interpret that into their designs !!
I hope your day gets better, always love your art as well and I'd love to see more lore about SMGL:E !! especially SMGLoren art!! :D
ty! Your headcanon is neat too ooo
anyway, hc time weee (they arent very good or original, bear with me hjdbfj) (its mostly smg4 and smg3 cuz they are my favs lowkey)
SMG3 is slightly shorter than SMG4, SMG4 is slightly taller than Mario, but they are all still roughly 5'1
SMG3 paints his nails black (EMOOO)
SMG3 is pansexual and on the asexual spectrum (not me projecting-)
SMG4 is bisexual
SMG4 and Mario bully each other daily, but its like the friendly goofy ahh bros making fun of bros way yk, its a thing my friends be doing too, where we shit talk each other and do goofy shit but we still care about each other lol
Mario is aro :)
Meggy is bi
Bob is trans ftm lol (he canonically has ovaries so i mean)
Mr. Puzzles aro/ace woo
uh uh shit most of my hcs are sexuality related, one more sexuality hc cuz i have to
Karen is pan
there we go last sexuality hc, now im gonna try and restrain myself from those
SMG4 is so good with kids. Hes not really the best type of person to be a helpful responsible caretaker but hes 100% the goofy dad that makes kids laugh
On the contrary, SMG3 is the responsible helpful caretaker (as seen with eggdog)
basically smg4 and smg3s tendencies swap as soon as they are put in charge of kids
Karen had a husband and both were doing assassination missions before Karen had kids, Karen wanted to stop being a part of it after her third kid, her husband didnt want to leave the biz so ✨divorce✨
Currently all the ones i can think of
some of these were not originally ones thought up by me but ones i saw and thought were neat so i absorbed them lol, so if some of them were concocted by you and you want credit lmk
#lore has the answers#smg4#smg3#smg34#smg43#smg4 smg3#smg4 mario#smg4 meggy#smg4 bob#bob bobowski#meggy spletzer#mr puzzles#smg4 mr puzzles#smg4 karen#smg4 headcanon
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i kinda want to read books again, i havent read any in .. more years than i know to remember but idk how to find anything i like, especially these days (i dont read fanfiction either .. , i tried a few times but it never really caught me q-q)
even when i was young i was somewhat picky (though there are plenty books im sure i finished but just .. dont remember) the last series i think i read was skullduggery pleasant (as i said, its been many years) but dropped it after it got a little 'weird' (in like .. i guess the shonen powerscaling problem, at least thats how it felt back then) and the annoying love interest boy that was seemingly only introduced so protag girl could do what normal girls do tm (i know theres many more books in the series so idk if hes actually more than that but eugh)
funnily enough i only seem to remember the books i loved so much i kept rereading them (the bartimäus trio, though i loved the forth prequel more than the others .. still sad i lost my copy of it in school) or the ones i stopped reading bc something completely threw me out of it-
there was one i literally only remember it was a protagonist (teen?) girl (is that a general common thing for the fantasy genre?) and she was travelling via a ship in that scene, idk if it was a flying one but something was different magical tm i think; and left it or ran away or so and sought shelter from the rain at some point and annoying boy caught up to her and they uuh .. started making out of nowhere?? (im sorry i literally only remember i felt rly uncomfortable and awkward, didnt like the boy, thought they had zero chemistry/felt forced AND i did NOT see it coming, like at all, maybe its my aro/ace/autism .. ness (that i wasnt aware of except being def different for most of my life, haha fun.) but i rememebr feeling like i got flashbanged by what i read, the only actual sentence i (think i) remember was "she felt the weight of his hips shifting onto hers" bc it weirded me out so much and i might just have stopped reading it at that point and never looked back lmao)
another one was one with a setting of having dragons and they were used like horses, also feathered! (though the cover picture, i think, was a big dragon eye surrounded by scales, pretty sure it annoyed me constantly but i might missremember, again its been so long and i went through things my brain wishes it could unlive) and the protagonist worked at a stable or soemthing (also girl? idk), last thing i remember was that all dragons started to go mad and kill themselves .. idk if i read any further
(honorable mention to uuh .. dämonenzeit (demon time), was a demon protagonist and it was a little brutal for my taste but when do you get a demon as the main guy, apparently there were two entries and i only read the first one, also lost that copy- Xarors (an OC of mine) first designs were based on the cover of that book and the thing the band 'disturbed' tended to use (the hooded guy with red glowing eyes) i was very original)
maybe all those were super well known ones and i just never knew (grew up without/extremely limited internet and tech in general after all.... the only one i knew was popular and also read all of it and had all parts .. was a certain bad wizard series that should not still be so popular *watches in horror as my niece gets into it and wants nothing but merch for it*) or really bad peepoo baby books, im possibly confusing or mixing some things bc i read quite a few ones with dragons and similar themes, but thats just what i remember/remember feeling like
(maybe i should see if i still have them somewhere and see how much is true of any of this .... though a part of me also doesnt want to)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#if anyone recognizes a book here feel free to tell me#and how wrong i was about everything or soemthing#idk why im even writing this#but these memories float up every timei think about trying to read books again#maybe posting about it once can help get rid of that#...and that stupid hip sentence ... will i ever be able to let it go idk#didnt have and still dont have alot of money so buying books i might not like is like :/#also if anything id want physical books#i already read and do too much on screens i dont want to read books there too
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i do absolutely think "love negativity" does exist, especially for queer people. being yelled at for holding my boyfriend's hand in public isnt love positivity, thats for sure. even the influx of aros and aces saying they dont want to see people kissing at pride isnt love positivity. i know people like to deny that happens, but as an aromantic who's been openly aromantic for over a decade and in many aromantic spaces, i have followed several aro people who've said they dont want to see people kissing in public, even at pride. which, again, sounds like love negativity to me. specifically directed at other queer people, which also leads into homophobia and biphobia.
i completely understand being loveless and all, but gay people have and do experience oppression for the love that they have. "love wins" is played out, but was vitally important. saying "comraderie wins" doesnt have the same ring to it when im not being comrades with someone im getting married to, im in love with them.
the concept of being loveless, subverting the expectations society has for what being a good person is, and enjoying life without love arent mutually exclusive to people experiencing oppression for their love. aro/ace people arent immune to being homophobic the same way gay people arent immune to being aphobic and the people i have encountered in the aro/ace community have just about the same proclivity to call gay people gross for having sex as gay people have the proclivity to make fun of asexuals for not having sex. ive been shamed for having sex, enjoying romance, and having a long term relationship as an aromantic more than ive had people shame me for being aromantic.
essentially, there's nuance to everything and saying broad sweeping statements like "X doesnt exist" about anything having to do with the queer experience is a massive pitfall in every discourse space. i wouldnt say aphobia doesnt exist just because ive experienced it less, or lesbophobia doesnt exist because a lot of governments didnt know they were real so they couldnt illegalize them, because it negates all the breadth of nuance that the world provides for us. in the good and in the bad.
"No more asks about this" ignored again. Okay okay
And it's funny that if, you read my post again, I was talking about a very broad concept of love, not just romantic. I in no way denied the oppression what people who date the same gender go through! Which would be a funny thing to do! Because I'm a same-gender attracted person and I identify as lesbian in the past! You'd be surprised how much I know about these issues, so you don't need to explain it to me at all! Funny thing, isn't?
I was referring to the fact that, even though certain forms of love are demonized, people still expect us to love. People still expect us to experience family love. Friendship love. Love in general. And we have to love in the right way, in the neurotypical, white way, built according to western standards. And if we don't live up to these expectations, we are ostracized and dehumanized. Love is a requirement for humanity. This is not a problem specific to just one context.
And about the "camaraderie" thing, I was just responding to the argument that "love wins" is an anti-war slogan, which honestly, seems very reductive. Love is not something inherently revolutionary. And it's not the only positive emotion there is. Also, love, in technical terms, says nothing about what someone thinks of another person. In a christian context, people often say that God "loves the sinner, but does not love the sin". My shitty father also says he loves me, like many shitty fathers. Okay, you love me. But do you respect me? Do you understand me? Do you perceive me? There must be more than just love to change the world. But anyway, this is just me commenting on my personal view on love.
I think I derail a little, but whatever. I'm not in a good mindset to provide an answer. I just want to say that I think you didn't understand me at all and at this point I'm too tired to explain myself.
#i am so confused about this ask because you brought up issues that i didn't even mention#but anyway#no more asks#please?#just block me?#no just this anon but anyone who feels tempted to complain about this “discourse” in my inbox
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Okay Im gonna ramble about my sexuality and gender headcanons for the choir bcs of june doe :)
Ocean-honestly, Idk?(ocean is the one I'm most unsure of atm) I mean. I really like the asexual headcanon, and could honestly see her being somewhere on the asexual spectrum! (I mean she also reminds me of myself when I was a kid a lot. Especially the fact that she seems to be repulsed by sexual stuff altough I'm not really like that anymore). I could see her as being aro too? I dunno. I honestly could see her being heteromantic honestly. Or a lesbian. Or biromantic.
Uses she/her pronouns.
Noel-gay obviously. Uses he/she pronouns. Cis male. I could see him getting into drag and stuff in a universe where she doesnt die and like gets to leave his town. I dont have a lot to say about him sorry. Okay actually i can see her being on the aro spectrum, y'know?
Mischa-pretty obvious what I'm gonna say, but here it is: bisexual. It's like, not even a question of whether he is or not. He is. I think he sorta always knew but didn't want to think about it and really only came to the conclusion after he died. This may be me projecting, but like, some sort of genderqueer? I can see him identifying as a man because that's what he was born as, it's easy and simple, and he didn't think there were other options besides that(he knew trans ppl existed but didnt know much about them, like the fact that there are other genders besides man and woman. He'd later learn about other identities but didnt look very much into it). Anyway, he doesn't experience gender dysphoria but does experience gender euphoria when using other pronouns like they and it or presenting in a non masc way so that confuses him even more. Like, he does feel comfortable using he/him prns and presenting masc but there is a but. Eventually with the help of Noel and Talia(and the rest of the choir maybe) he figures out he is not cis. But he doesnt really know what he is. His gender is like a mess(totally not projecting) Uses he/they/it pronouns. (One day I may decide on my headcanon for his gender indentity, maybe, or just leave him as genderqueer but maybe greygender?)
(Wow I wrote a lot for mischa lol)
Im gonna do Jane and Penny separately btw
Jane- probably somewhere on the aro and ace spectrum. I could see her as being quoiromantic/wtfromantic. And quoisexual. And quoigender. She/They/It
Penny- Idk. I havent read the entirety of Legoland yet but I think maybe bisexual? I havent given her much thought unfortunately. She/They. Probably genderqueer.
Ricky-He/They/She/It. Genderqueer! Pangender perhaps? She is def multigender. Also pansexual. I could see them using xenopronouns and identifying as xenogenders(probably related to cats and space).
Constance-my girl! She/They. Omniromantic and I could see her as being on the asexual spectrum given the whole wanting to get virginity out of the way thing. Though I dunno what. (I really should make up my mind on what they identify as before making my everybody lives au).
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So
Because we need conflict
Let's try and have the Romanians cause up some shit - they wanna recruit vampires to take on the Volturi, and well they kinda liked Adam because Adam was a pretty fun guy
And at that moment - Adam wanted to get Evangeline as far away from the Volturi as possible so when they were like ayo let's meet up, he was like eh okay maybe in like a month or two ? (Bec that was when Evangeline had to turn)
So they just pitched up - and were like very threatening or idk the idea was for then to recruit Adam by threatening to kill Evangeline for good
So Adam was like okay fine but no harm comes to Evangeline
Evangeline gets info from Adam and then she goes and quickly emails the Volturi from a fake phone to get Demetri to track them and like save them
But Demetri doesn't come
Aro is back at Volterra like : give them some time. Let's see what they can come up with.
Meanwhile, Evangeline is trying not to die inside all the while playing secret assassin
But shit happens even more when her time is up and she has to turn (Adam doesn't turn her) so boom demetri is there and is like "yeah the kings want Evangeline." And Felix is with him, and Evangeline and Adam are like ???? Because what are they gonna do.
Plan is for Adam to be the two timing bitch - so he goes to the Volturi and obviously because Aro is tehre he figures out everything.
But oh shit. Then the Romanians know that Adam isn't on their side.
Okay no so wait, when Adam says he'll go with Evangeline, then Demetri is like, hm, how about no. And so Evangeline is the only one to go there.
Turns out baby Evangeline has to be the two timing vampire bitch (lol she SO asks Caius for tips - how to two time a coven)
Anyways, when she gets to Volterra she is (1) pissed because "DIDNT YOU GET MY EMAILS???" And (2) IF YOU GOT MY EMAILS THEN WHY DIDNT YOU REPLY? And (3) she's stressed about Adam especially since he's still with the Romanians and okay she thinks they started trusting him a bit because they didn't seem - okay no they seemed alarmed when Denetri and Felix got there but she's still so stressed.
Anyways Aro doesn't really like Adam because Adam is like a rebellious son you know (not to mention he knows Adam a bit from touching Edward's hand but now touching Evangeline's he obviously sees a different thing.) But Aro is old enough to know not to blindly trust people.
But oh, Evangeline? Thank god she doesn't have a mental shield because this means he can use Chelsea on her - and also, he thinks that it's a good thing she has such a good familial relationship with Adam, because that would mean the Romanians would believe if she played their side.
Damn, this whole war thing is gonna take a goddamn time - like a long time - because I liked the idea of the Romanians making a half vampire army - that'll take them, what, like, a full year from conception for the babies to be trained into being warriors?
Okay so it won't take that long but I think it'll take somewhat five years for Evangeline to adapt to vamp-hood and to also integrate herself into the Romanian ranks, because the Romanians won't trust her if she keeps on going back to Volterra (because Aro will wnat to touch her hand)
So oof the drama
Is dramatic
Because can you imagine essentially Caius and his mate being torn apart by war?
Like ooofffff I love it but poor Evangeline she just hates it and wants to cry
I think this whole arc for her will really shape her into the character that wanted to write - like the lowkey person who doesn't want to fight anymore, and to have Caius understand that part of her (understand just why she is like that and just - you know? Be able to relate to her a bit, except he still wants to fight because his mind just works better that way)
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I graduated highschool in 09.
I remember wanting to go around topless like the boys as a child and it being akward af when i tried.
i remember making fun of anyone who didn't conform to the norm from my best childhood friend liking pink as a boy to laughing at a boy who told me he was ace in college because that "wasnt allowed".
i remember my parents giving me talks about dating and always being told it was okay if i brought home a girl instead of a boy and me insisting that i was straight because "i wasnt anything special" like being gay.
I remember never being girly but being told Id be so pretty if I just tried.
I remember wishing I'd been a boy as a child to wanting to be one of the boys as a teen to wishing Id been born a gay guy in highschool.
I remember telling the guys who liked me they didnt know what was in my pants to get them to leave me alone.
i remember my best friend testing her girl voice on me for the first time and me telling her it was weird and scared me.
I remember having sex because it was something to check off a list - and then litterally making lists in my head while it was happening because it held no interest.
I remember loving stories where girls disguised themselves as boys and being disappointed when the ruse was discovered or revealed or ended.
I remember hating when people got crushes on me because it felt like my friendship just wasnt good enough.
I remember knee jerk reactions to anything outside the norm and i remember doing and trying things i didnt want simply because they were "supposed" to be happening.
I remember learning about things and feeling small minded and stupid and over compensating.
i remember being jealous no envious of people being trans.
I remember figuring out that being aro and ace were allowed and realizing if i had the words i would have labled myself so long ago and been happy and never gone though the mess of relationships and experiences i did.
I remember waking up every day telling myself that im not special that im not trans because its still happening even though ive never wanted anything more.
"no one labled themsleves or said they were another gender or or or before"
they did
they would have
they didnt but
they were punished for it - in big ways yes but in small ways too.
i laughed at the first person who told me he was ace - im ace
i was scared of my best friend hinting she was trans - im trans
theres so much shit weve internalized. and like i get the knee jerk reaction to people labling themselves differently - people weren't allowed to be these things and even when they were they were considered special (bad) or rare and like were now seeing that it isnt rare its just not been allowed like being lefthanded wasnt allowed
and yeah maybe there are those who are confused or stright up lying. maybe im one of them. but despite what youve been trained to believe its not a bad thing to be special or want to be special
especially in a time where we're trying to change it from special (bad) to normalized.
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i remember before i started dating my gf i was super scared of relationships bc every single time someone showed interest in me i gaslit myself into thinking i also had feelings for them and the "feelings" went away in 2 weeks and when i finally dated someone it lasted 1 month bc i just couldnt handle it ,, and like ive had this looooong history of friendzoning ppl and i always felt so bad after having to friendzone someone (LIKE I CRIED A LOT) bc i love making people feel loveable yk i want them to feel good and i love giving love but i always had to end up friendzoning bc if i didnt they were gonna fall completely in love with me so I HAD TO DO IT bc i KNEW i couldnt handle being in a relationship ESPECIALLY knowing i didnt have romantic feelings for them
anyways i started thinking i was aro (and i AM in the arospec) and i felt like a huge piece of shit for hurting people even if i didnt mean it yk I JUST WANTED PPL TO FEEL HAPPY BC IT MADE ME FEEL HAPPY
this was mostly when i was 14-16 and i was confused as hell like i was questioning my gender a lot but at least i was sure that i was bi ,, BUT STILL thats not an excuse i was a dumb teen and to this day i still feel bad for all the people that i mightve hurt but at the same time it was the best i could to atm like at least i stopped before it could get worse (and thankfully i still talk to most of them)
WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY IS idk if it's bc im older now but gabri has made me feel extremely comfortable and loved since we first met and all the people that loved me in the past ALSO made me feel loved but it felt wrong and like i was kinda forcing myself to reciprocate the feelings when they were completely platonic on my side ,, and i never thought i could be in a relationship and last more than a month i swear i was TERRIFIED of dating someone bc i was afraid of doing it again
to sum up ,, im extremely grateful that i met gabri i love fox so much and even though this year had some ups and downs regarding my mental health i will always cherish it because it's the year i met gabri and hes sosososo silly and has helped me realise so many things
i never thought i could date someone for almost seven months now ,, im thankful and full of love :]
message for gabri in case u see this:
ure stinky (ily my shitboy)
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ahhh the single life
currently im single and i'm very much happy with it. i honestly do not see myself interested or able to be in any dedicated relationship style(s) today.
recently both my sister and 2 of my closest present-day friends (in both vanilla and kink communities) got into a new relationship. in fact the kink friend is coparenting.
and at my age, almost everyone else i know is married (with kids), fianced, dating, or divorced and redating, and some of my kink friends are in giantass poly groups. and tbh, i could still play/have sex with several of my (partnered) friends in the kink community so its not like i dont have options when it comes to partners. (and i am technically in a leather family, but i'm pretty sure i'm the only one who does not also have my own partner(s). in my leather family, there is someone whose aro&ace but in a D/s relationships)
i just didnt realize that being surrounded by soooooo many couples/triads/etc can be just a lil bit... not that its making me want to be in my own relationship(s). i know very much i am still friends with my vanilla friends & their partners, and for my kink friends, i can still play or have sex with them and their partners. but still. but its that feeling of when your friend starts dating someone, and you're happy for them, but now they spend less time with you, especially during their honeymoon phases. maybe its also a little bit of that thing that jaidenanimation mentioned about aromantic people being behind or left out. and maybe its also jealousy?
(the coparenting kink friend is especially fascinating because they're the one that i regularly do needle play and sometimes bondage with. but now they're moving out to go live with their partner and i wont say it but its like.... whose gonna stab me now???? [even though i know 10+ other friends (and their partners) who are also willing to tie me up and stab me] yeah these phrases are things you do not hear in the vanilla relationships LMFAO)
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ok venting bc i dont have therapy until friday tw: weird dudes being creeps, drinking, idk people not respecting me being aro
oh im losing my mind actually. told some dude i thought i was becoming friends with im aromantic today after he asked my sexuality (which, first of all, thought that was weird, but figured it was important to tell him in case he was interested)
he was interested. literally responds “interesting” when i tell him. couple hours pass. he tells me hes crying at work. i assume its a work related thing so i make a joke about the downtrodden proletarian struggle. he goes on to send me mass amounts of texts basically saying (paraphrasing) he got his hopes up for a crush that isnt reciprocated and now hes empty. then tells me hes day drinking and just weeping. i dont know what to fucking say so im just like im sorry. reassures me he still wants to continue being friends. bunch of other stuff. i dont text back right away (still havent bc im still figuring out what TO say) and hes like can you text me back so i dont think you hate me. this is unhinged behavior actually and heres why:
i understand someone you like not liking you back sucks. its even fair to shed some tears over it. but its completely inappropriate to make them feel guilty about it? to really hound into them that basically they hurt you emotionally because they didnt satisfy the reason behind you talking to them for the last couple weeks. because of how my own fucking brain and heart works. what the actual fuck is wrong with people.
also it sucks. bc im not fucking dead? wtf? you can have just as meaningful friendships as one can have meaningful romantic relationships. im fucking tired of people not understanding that. im sooo fucking tired of having to make others comfortable at the cost of my own comfort. thats what i did for years in so many ways, but especially around allo people interested in dating me. everything about this conversation made me not want to talk to this person anymore.
completely fucking ridiculous. people dont owe you your own feelings if they dont feel the same. deal with them accordingly.
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Hello, to respond to a comment which i ran out of space to or i would just yk reply in the comments
First of all thank you for being nice!
i use asexual as an umbrella term in this case, as i myself am ace (and sex repulsed) i dont know much in the area of being sex favorable which is a possible.
Its also possible edwin isnt anywhere on the ace spectrum and is just, as we all know repressed, what i didnt express with the historical context edwin comes from where i don't believe sex was reallt talked about openly in any context (homosexuality aside). Im no historian but victorian times brings to mind gossip and scandles im regard to relationship sexual and not- given the time has sense been so perpetuated by manners, properness, the more formal and covered attire, the courting practices and so on. Edwin died young and as we know hadnt even been kissed before monty, so its entirely possible he just lived unaware - which would also explain his confusion to the more modern openness and the whole "what is a hand job"
That being said i think victorian england or not teenagers are going to teenager and explore the many aspects of life. Of course not all but the majority. Especially with how much edwin reads, after his death he would have been exposed to the topic of sex even under a scientific lense.
From personal experience and what i saw alot of from my time questioning, its common for aspec people to question why people have sex, that its made up for the movies etc, edwin could also fall into this mind set and see sex as a scientific, reproduction thing until it that narrative gets pressed by the Cat King.
I dont want to completely throwout canon and aspects that are vital to a character, i am simply explaining my reasoning more as asked. I see alot of aspec-ness in edwin, maybe im projecting hungry for repsentation but thats the joy of head canons. I love edwin and the queerness of dbda and im always hopeful for the more complex and shyed away from indentities.
Often a character who is ace will also be aro perpetuating the narrative that romance=sex and the more complicated (demi, grey, throwing in the romantic spectrum and all the intesecting identies that follow)
I will get off my soap box of sexuality and romance in media
Head canon edwin as asexual (not taking the hints of charles/crystal, "what is a handjob" etc) and demi or grey romantic (never really saw the appeal of kissing "until recently", but definitely having some attraction or interest towards monty and the cat king - both worked in edwins gay awakening etc)
I dont disagree at all that edwins gay but that doesnt mean he cant be on the aspec
#dead boy detective agency#edwin payne#asexual#aromantic#dbda headcanon#dead boy detectives#explainging my headcanon#genuinly thank you for being nice in your comment
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also thinking abt my tma band au, ive been thinking abt it so much, jsut cause i love making martin deranged?? i love it, so imagine. they start the band around 2010, like the covers, just testing things out, introductions whatever.
it is clear, from the start, that jon does not like martin. ppl dont know why, but it did inspire some fans to do the same. they'd notice how he never posts any covers on his own while the others do, jon with his vocals, tim with his guitar, sasha with the bass, etc. so the natural conclusion was either 1) hes lazy to do so or 2) hes shit at playing the drums. ppl also hate him for more prejudiced reasons
the reason why jon isnt martins biggest fan is because he wasnt supposed to be on the band, gerry was!! but at the time of the auditions n stuff, he got his cancer diagnosis n obviously decided to heal n maybe do his own thing. jon n gerry were close friends at the time, so this saddened jon greatly. he alludes to this too much whenever he talks abt martin that ppl start to hate on martin for that too, especially when ppl find out how gerry looks like and, again, hate him for more... superficial reasons
so martin is not having a good time! he doesnt have a lot of music experience n kinda went in on the audition as a joke, thinking his shit playing would not lend him anywhere, but elias picked him, n since elias is basically the boss n gives the funds for the band, what he says, goes. (if youre wondering, yes, elias only hired martin so they could have more drama right at the beginning, knowing it would drive jon MAD to see such a noob right there on the drums.)
tim n sasha n this au have their own thing going on, sasha is figuring out her aro identity while also feeling great affection for tim n not knowing what to do abt it or what it means, n tim is very much in love with sasha but that scares him, big emotions like that scary him, especially when hes not even sure she likes him at all, n now his friend jon is being an asshole, n his brother danny was supposed to be on the band to manage sound n shit, but right now he cant, n its a mess, n hes stressed!!
but tim is also the only one who believes martin can n will learn how to play drums so, he n sasha put their issues aside n teach him as much as he can.
meanwhile, they decide a great way for fans to learn more abt them, not just through concerts or interviews, which might take a while, especially at the start, they start doing lives! they all have their own accounts n have decided that each of their live streams r their own, in other words, thats how they want the fans to see them; to know each other, they'll do it the old fashioned way. so, they dont watch each others livestreams at all.
so. martin starts his own lives. gets basically no views n a lot of hate comments n is 2 seconds away from killing somebody in his pain, but doesnt, cuz he doesnt want the attention on him. the live streams, per the band's request, r also not to be talked abt at length in interviews, its more between the members n the fans. martin, already feeling like a burden, is relieved that they dont have to say anything abt their streams if they dont want to, cause fuck hes not doing so hot there.
until one day, on their first concert, afterwards where they get to talk to the fans, on fan comes up n (half-jokingly) begs martin to just start being mean. just block ppl n be mean on his streams cuz its terrible in there!! martin is delighted n This Will Be Remembered but his bandmates r horrified, even jon. they didnt know martin was getting harassed like this, n jon feels kinda guilty abt it, which results in him just. avoiding martin for a while. mentions of him turn neutral n profissional cuz hes embarassed.
but now??? martin's true power is UNLEASHED!! he does not give a shit!! u say shit? u get blocked!! fuck u!! he starts just doing whatever on his lives, asks for challenges, for videos to react, and further down the line, starts playing games, which just means he's only getting recommended horror games, the poor guy
he treats the fans like his friends n the fans are DELIGHTED they love martin. hes just a freak!! just a weirdo!! also hes kinda hot!! also hes getting so much better at drums, omg!! look!!!!
thankfully, they do have a mostly chill fanbase, n they just interact with each other pretty comfortably as the years go by; if there is idolazation happening, it is minimal, or they just dont see it.
also the other three OF COURSE also get weirder as the years go by, but martin is the one that shocked everyone, since hes always on the shadows, never appears much, keeps to himself, n then u go watch a stream from him n its just him screaming at fnaf or reacting to smut fanfics of them (horribly written, requested by him n tim specifically, n they dont read it out loud, they just react. yes tim is there, n its a delight, halfway they get drunk n suddenly everybody's meme folder got 10x larger)
anyways, band shenanigans. love them. also love that i get to listen to audios n imagine what ppl would edit of them n im just staring off into space thinking abt hot band ppl, im living the dream
#tma#the magnus archives#martin blackwood#jonathan sims#timothy stoker#sasha james#tmalesbeen au#tmalesbeen talks#i am incapable of writing a short post sometimes im so sorry#but idc actually cuz i rly love this au#i actually screenshotted the tags cuz i wrote so much there#BUT i wrote so many they keep getting eaten up so. i'll just leblog with them n the rest of what i wanted to say cuz omg
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romance-postive aro culture is feeling unsafe in the aro community because it feels like 90% of aromantics hate romance... and anyone who likes it. i love romance in fiction and im a big fan of romantic tropes when theyre done well. but i dont want to be in a romantic relationship myself! the thought makes me so uncomfortable, i hate it.
in the five months ive openly identified as aro, ive received so much hatred and invalidation. my inbox is full of death threats from other aromantic people. ive gotten asks saying things like, "you're lying about being aro for attention/to be trendy! you're a faker!" "you shouldn't talk about (insert fictional relationship here), you're making REAL aros look bad/fake!" "you're stealing space in a community that doesnt want you!" "people like you only claim to be aromantic because you hate us and you want to get into our community so you can hurt people." "if you like fictional romance then you aren't aromantic, you're a predator trying to target REAL (romance-repulsed) aros!"
i didnt even realize i was aromantic until six months ago. now, five months after coming out, i feel like i have to choose: do i hide what i love so i can fit in, or do i hide my identity so i can't be pushed out? calling myself aromantic feels right. the term fits me like a glove. but people are saying im a danger to them. theyre saying that my behavior is harmful to the community. theyre saying that i am a threat. theyre telling me that i dont deserve to be part of it.
i dont know what to believe anymore and i wish i could just disappear.
oh anon... for one, any person who sends death threats? report them and block them. I firmly believe that anyone who thinks sending death threats on the internet is okay should seek deradicalization resources and cease interacting online. also? those people are so, very wrong.
i'm not strictly romance repulsed myself; most aros I've known irl aren't either - in fact, I've known somewhere around a dozen aro-spec people irl, and most of us are somewhere between romance favorable and romance averse.
The unfortunate factor that I could see here, is that individuals who don't believe in aro (or, for that matter, ace) folks existing, are perfectly willing to pose as aro folks who mysteriously hate us for... whatever reason they think they can get away with. if you've ever posted about hating terfs, for example, it's not uncommon to suddenly receive a wave of hate messages after it posts, especially as an aro individual. I've personally blocked every terf blog I've ever seen on tumblr and "mysteriously" stopped receiving ALL of these messages.
While this isn't to say that none of the messages you've received could be from aro folks, they are not our community. BLOCK THEM AND REPORT THEM. I certainly would; they are not individuals I will cater to.
- mods kee and axel
#aro culture is#aro#aromantic#actually aro#actually aromantic#ask#mod kee#mod axel#vent submission#death threats tw#arophobia tw#aphobia tw#suicidal ideation tw
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general madrigal family neurodiversity/lgbt headcanons based on observation
disclaimer: im not throwing labels around all over the place. the majority of these characters in my eyes are pretty much straight and neurotypical, because a lot of the reasons people headcanon them with other things are for reasons that have more of a reflection and people are instead misinterpreting it for something else. im taking note of everything that makes me think “is this a mental illness/gay/gender thing or is this a cultural thing?”
- abuela obviously has ptsd. she was forced out of her home and watched her husband die in front of her while holding three infants that she had to raise alone. other than that i dont see anything else. i believe that she is straight and there is no way for her to be anything other than cis.
- pepa is a little neurodivergent, but im not sure in which way. her emotions are /extremely/ erratic, especially for a person who focuses a lot of her energy on leveling it. she is cis, as proven in the flashbacks to the triplets receiving their doors. i headcanon her as straight but i wont argue with people who claim she is bi.
- bruno is the most obviously mentally ill character. even before the wall decade, his description reflects a lot of traits that carried over to his time in the walls. so its safe to assume not much changed about hi,, he just got a lot more depressed. that being said,the most obvious one is definitely ocd. while his rituals are definitely a reflection of his culture, the amount in which he does them and the rhythmic and repeated way that he acts them out doesnt seem very normal. they seem like compulsive rituals that have gone from a way to ward off bad luck to something he needs to do to prevent the crippling anxiety of something enormously bad happening. he also very much shows quite a bit of symptoms for anxiety and depression, especially in the ways he copes with his situation. lastly, he is most definitely on the spectrum. he has a bit of a hard time with people skills, coming off as creepy or weird or a bad luck charm. in reality he just doesn’t really understand social skills and is very literal with his actions and words. he has a hard time putting himself in others shoes, he sees the world through his eyes only even though he does understand why people see him the way they see him. he just doesnt know how to confront it. also the way his sentences are strung together???? this man is AUTISTIC. i headcanon him as either a gay man or ace aro. i won’t argue with people who see him as bi or straight but i have to say. i cannot even fathom that man being attracted to a woman. i dont know what it is about him but like i cant see him being attracted to anything other than another man, if he can even feel that type of attraction at all. again could totally see him as just. none of it. no attraction thanks. he is cis, as proven with flashbacks to when he received his door.
- julieta is neurotypical, cis, and straight from my observations. and no this does not make her less lovable tumblr just has a habit of being biased to neurodivergent and lgbt characters. we love u for who u are mama julieta.
- félix and agustín cis, they literally have biological children, and i didnt get enough information on them to deduce much for their neurodiversity. i don’t really have a sexuality headcanon for either of them, i just know they love their wives more than life itself. what good lads. we love félix and agustín madrigal.
- isabela is neurotypical, cis, and straight. maybe bi. she is not a lesbian because the reasoning for that that everyone is giving is that she didnt wanna marry mariano. SHE DIDNT WANNA MARRY HIM BECAUSE IT WAS AN ARRANGED FUCKING MARRIAGE NOT BECAUSE SHE WAS GAY. headcanon whatever you want but PLEASE dont erase that part of her character as it is a very important part of her culture.
- luisa is not trans. luisa is not trans. LUISA IS NOT TRANS. all these latina women and you headcanon the one that looks the least feminine as trans. come on. you dont need an expert to see the kind of cultural erasure that is ensuing. i dont have a sexuality headcanon for her either i dont care. she is possibly autistic. you can see it in her communication skills ESPECIALLY and her emotional fluctuations. however it could just be a sign of sensitivity.
-mirabel is cis. i dunno man i just dont think shes anything else. she probably has adhd, seen especially in the certain breed of “thinking out loud” that she has. i don’t really have a sexuality headcanon for her either. i do like the idea of her being bi!
- dolores is cis and straight. however i think her gift causes some mental issues for her. i dont know WHAT she has but her brain is a little funky due to the amount of overstimulation she has experienced for the past 17 years. she moves in a very robotic way almost. she’s got somethin.
- camilo is neurotypical but definitely has gender issues. hes the only one i headcanon with gender issues. and its not just because his character design is a 15 year old pretty boy that looks like hes wearing makeup. his gift has probably given him the biggest identity crisis of not knowing who he is. hes been constantly told to be other people to be useful that he probably doesnt think the real camilo has much significance, so this creates a lot of identity issues. he is definitely bi. look at him.
- antonio is five years old. (i do not see anything neurodivergent about him though)
anyways! heres my fun little thoughts do with this as you please
#encanto#madrigal#madrigals#abuela madrigal#alma madrigal#abuela alma#pepa madrigal#bruno madrigal#julieta madrigal#félix madrigal#agustín madrigal#isabela madrigal#luisa madrigal#mirabel madrigal#dolores madrigal#camilo madrigal#antonio madrigal#my post#headcanon#analysis
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i give you: hcs with my favorite horror characters
part 1 probably
featuring: the sawyer brothers, og/rz michael myers, tiffany ray valentine, vincent sinclair, billy lenz, brahms heelshire, randy meeks
the Sawyers (Nubbins, Choptop, Bubba, Drayton)
nubbins is ratgender, and uses rat/he pronouns! rat doesnt really know what xenogender or ratgender is honestly. he just knows that being called rat makes him feel good about ratself so the others have no problem going with it
choptop is trans, and uses he/him!
nubbin's blue shirt was originally drayton's, and he's had it entirely too long. regardless how many times it gets ripped or gross nubbins refuses to get rid of it
jumping off that; chop's sweater was also from Drayton. he takes better care of it than rat does (i.e doesnt deface graveyards with it yk). it still gets ripped often but thats when we ask bubba to sew it lol
nubbin's is asexual! rat's not exactly sex-repulsed, but definitely not favorable. he doesnt see the appeal.
the twins bracelets and jewelry are all either handmade or stolen from victims/the people nubbins hitchhikes with
the name "choptop" came as a slight jab to his head injury, and he never really minded too much. eventually it just stuck.
nubbins doesn't identify with the trans label, but regardless "nubbins" is rat's chosen name. he got the idea once choptop came out and if rat's honest, he doesn't remember where he got nubbins from. just that it stuck and rat likes it :)
bubba's genderfluid! they dont really mind what pronouns you use for her, as long as its not it/its.
he loves sewing! they picked it up just after choptop left for vietnam, and has a bunch of little patches sewn into her apron even if it was never ripped
drayton uses he/him!
he's gay and asexual! definitely sex-repulsed.
Randy Meeks
randy's gay and trans (ftm) and uses he/they pronouns! he realized after stu and billy came out in middle school, but randy waited til their freshman year.
they're aegosexual! similar to nubbins he's not really repulsed but definitely not favorable by a long shot.
he has/had a thing for everyone in the group, excluding casey who wasnt really around that long. he has mild tourettes, and has a few verbal tics from movies; the majority of them are physical.
he has a lot of trouble controlling their volume when excited and goes nonverbal when they're stressed
Tiffany Ray Valentine
tif uses she/they!! she's probably experimented with heart or doll centered xenos, but they never stuck
pansexual!!! i love her sm
definitely had a thing for Martha Stewart or Jennifer Tilly. celebrity crush type thing yk
i mean, okay- you cant tell me she didnt have a thing for tilly. she literally was like "i HAVE to have jennifer tilly, charles. it is a need :((".
uses a kitchen knife to do her eyeliner :)
a very good baker
Michael Myers (og)
this man does not know what pronouns are dude
hes the type to go ",,,im a guy"
ESPECIALLY old myers.
i love him but its TRUE (╥ w ╥)
definitely aro-ace
he probably doesnt know what that means either tbh.
Michael Myers (rz)
he/it!
hes also asexual! :D
it's bisexual, probably has a preference to men
he has tourettes!
making/wearing his masks is a giant comfort, regardless of how old he is. mans wore those things year-round, including to school
unlike og myers, he actually know what his labels mean ಥ‿ಥ and he likes them! they're the most accurate to him and make him comfortable
Vincent Sinclair
they/he
aegosexual! pretty sex-repulsed ngl
trans!! :D ftm!
selectively mute; when they do talk, he's never loud
sweater paws. i will not elaborate.
likes having his hair down while hes working, even if its a hazard. it's a mix of the weight/blinder effect is comforting, and so his mask is hidden from victims
that being said they are a GOD at braiding.
very good at painting, too!
Billy Lenz:
he/it
sex-favorable asexual
pansexual!
is a whore for weirdly flavored candy canes
is THAT person who plays christmas music year-round.
it'll be dead quiet in the house and the girls just hear a very quiet "all i want for christmas is youu" and none of them can find the source
it thinks barb is the funniest to annoy, mainly because she actually gives him reactions
Brahms Heelshire
ace!!!
uses he/they pronouns!
a straight man sobs
he genuinely did like gretta (even though she SUCKED) and her leaving was a bitch to get over
has eaten a rat before.
#horror#slashers#tcm bubba#bubba sawyer#tcm nubbins#nubbins sawyer#chop top sawyer#tcm chop top#drayton sawyer#tcm drayton#randy meeks#randy scream#tiffany valentine#tiffany ray#michael myers#the texas chainsaw massacre#texas chainsaw 2#halloween#halloween 1978#rob zombie halloween#scream 1996#child's play#bride of chucky#headcanon#my hcs#lgbt hcs#lgbt horror#moth hcs
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