#and Dick has nightmares

[dramatisperscnae]

[guess who just finished gotham knights again.

dick is Very Emotional rn]

[egophiliac]

do skully have pokemon?

Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.

(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Kid!Dick, kicking his legs up on the front dash, looking at Bruce driving: Are we there yet?

Bruce, driving to Kansas on their “first big road trip” at Dick’s suggestion: No.

[ten minutes later]

Dick: Are we there yet?

Bruce: Get your feet off the dashboard chum.

Dick, grumbles but crisscrosses his legs: Yeah but are we there yet?

Bruce: Still no.

[five minutes later]

Dick, turning the radio on and off.

Bruce: Why don’t you do some reading chum?

Dick, doesn’t look up: Makes me sick.

Bruce: Okay…

[minute later]

Dick, trying to climb out the open car window.

Bruce, frantically trying to pull him back.

[ten minutes later]

Dick, smiling wildly with windswept hair: Are we there yet?

Bruce, tired, just wants to sleep, shirt crinkled, rethinking all of his life choices: Not even close.

[normal-nightmare]

Yknow what I really want?? UTRH era jaydick, specifically forbidden relationship (cause Dick is a vigilante/superhero and Jason is a literal crimelord anti-villain).

I feel like it'd be a ton of fun to play around with, especially as a slow burn and with an identity reveal

Like... Dick and the Red Hood somewhat consistently fighting, and more often than not, Jason tends to flirt with him. Initially it's just to throw Dick off, but he notices how Dick gets flustered every time and how adorable it is, so he keeps doing it.

And, to Dicks horror, he realizes he's catching feelings for a god damn crimelord. He's PISSED about it too, and it drives him up a wall how effective Jason's flirting is.

Maybe the first time Dick flirts back shocks Jason enough to cause him to stumble, and from there, they just keep flirting with each other. Their chases and fights are absolutely their version of play.

Maybe Jason calls Dick Dickie-bird, and this shocks Dick, revealing to Jason that he has no idea who the Red Hood is; Bruce never told him. Jason doesn't tell Dick himself. The interaction goes something like this:

"Huh, B never told you who I am?"

"What-? No. Should I know who you are??"

"Hm, that's a shame. How about you go look up what Daddy Bats was doing the night Blüdhaven got bombed? That should tell you everything you need to know."

"Why not just tell me yourself?"

"Well, I'm not just gonna tell you, that'd take the fun out of it. Besides, he's keepin' something real important from ya; i suspect you'll be pretty pissed when you find out what."

"What-??"

"Anyways, i gotta go. Crime lord business, an' all that. Toodles!"

And, well, when Dick finds out, he's devastated and angry and confused and hurt. The resulting argument between him and Bruce drives a wedge between them. Dick is also confused about his relationship with Jason; what it qualifies as, what's different between them now that Dick knows the Red Hood is his once-dead successor.

Maybe the next time they meet, it's the usual chase and fight, with Dick confused and unsure of how to tackle his feelings. It ends with Jason's helmet off, and Dick gently cradling his face with a hand, and suddenly they're kissing, the feelings and tension too much to not act upon. And before the night is over, Dick is in Jason's bed.

The ensuing conversation is heavy, but the relationship is official, if kept very, very secret, if only for Dicks sake.

[littlefankingdom]

Bruce is well aware how boring galas and events can be for kids, so he always has a couple of babysitters at his events to take care of the kids in another room, with also a second room to nap in for the kids that get tired.

However, his own kids cannot stay with the other kids. It's not that he wants them to endure the event, it's that no babysitter want to deal with his kids after having deal with Dick Grayson. Like, imagine watching over at least ten kids, and there's one of them who always seems to end in the chandelier, jumping from furniture and trying to teach the other kids how to do it. Nope, never again, deal with him on your own, Mister Wayne. He's adorable, but he has way too much energy and refuses to stay on the ground. Even babysitters that never had to deal with Dick Grayson have heard of the horror stories, so they still refuse to look after the Wayne's kids.

Dick's siblings (Jason and Damian mostly) have him to blame for having to stay with the adults instead of reading or playing video games in another room.

[sidewalk-cracks]

literally please give Battison a Dick Grayson in the Batman Part II.

The first movie was about Bruce's journey from not wanting to be Bruce Wayne, to realizing that he does in fact need to be Bruce Wayne, and that Bruce Wayne can be a force used for good just like Batman. Logically then, the second movie should explore the next immediate question on the table: okay, he needs to be Bruce Wayne. So who is Bruce Wayne? What kind of man is Bruce Wayne going to be? Bruce still feels defined by his trauma of his parent's death. Bruce Wayne still feels defined by his parents' shadows, by his father's legacy. He still feels defined by his grief. How does he make Bruce Wayne be something different?

Dick Grayson would serve as the PERFECT device for Bruce to discover who he can be. Because Dick Grayson is literally just a young Bruce, and Bruce sees that instantly (it's why he takes him in in the first place). So throughout the movie, as Bruce tries to help Dick process his grief, he's inadvertently processing his OWN grief. Dick Grayson unknowingly helps Bruce process his own trauma, and through their developing relationship shows him that Bruce Wayne can be more than a recluse, a failure, a man drowning in his own head- he can be a protector, a friend, a parent.

When Dick points a gun at Tony Zucco's head, Bruce talks him down, and all the words that he gives him are words he had wanted when he was a kid and his grief was fresh. Even though they're gone, you're not alone. I understand.

BATTISON NEEDS DICK GRAYSON TO BE ABLE TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP OF HIS CHARACTER GROWTH.

[butwhatifidothis]

I guess the ultimate thing that kills CF for me - or at least nudges it away from me saying I definitively like it - is just how much Edelgard is clearly written with the player in mind before she's written with her character in mind.

Because on all of the other routes, there's a power to Edelgard's presence. Even on BE, there's a sense that for as lonely as Edelgard might be, she still ultimately will do whatever it takes for her to get what she wants. Be that be killing her citizens (or otherwise letting them be killed), endangering her friends, assisting in kidnapping people, allowing Byleth to support her only when they have the Sword of the Creator, covering for TWS - no bar is too low for her to limbo under if doing so means she's even a step closer to her goals.

She's manipulative! She's deceitful! She doesn't care for the lives of her people! Even her friends are forfeit if they try to stand in her way! And this happens no matter how close you, the player, get to her, in the case of BE - C+ ain't stoppin' Remire, and going to the coronation ain't stopping the Holy Tomb.

And in the war phase, she is dominating the field. She has the Kingdom completely on the ropes, down to a few houses standing against Imperial rule, and the Alliance is stuck in neutrality - she may not be able to do much to it, but neither can they do anything to her (to say nothing of the Alliance houses who stand with her). She's far from the underdog in this race, and she shows off how threatening she can be.

CF? Her route?

She scweams at scawy rats. She gets embawwassed when you find her dwawings. She's just so wonewy, and she's just so gwad that you chose her. She somehow fails to capture Rhea, or frame Dimitri for regicide, and so now has to deal with that on the Kingdom's side of the war. But that doesn't stop Elly Welly-kins fwom twying to find her pwecious teacher, because you're just so important to her. She cwies and hugs you when you meet her in the Goddess Tower!! Because she missed you so much!!

It's like... Dimitri and Claude certainly show different sides of themselves on their respective routes. It's the whole point! You grow closer to them and thus see how they treat those close to them, as opposed to being the Kinda Neat Teacher they see run along every now and then. But, like... Claude doesn't become a blushing maiden whenever Byleth speaks with him on VW. Dimitri doesn't scream at scary rats and get called cute for it on AM. They don't get Basic Bitch Gap Moe Traits slapped onto them that are only ever shown to the player and only on their routes. Unlike Edelgard.

Dimitri's endearing trait is that he's this big huge dude who can bench-press forests and arm-wrestle god who still wants to learn to sew and who teaches kids to protect themselves and who buys candies for his friends. Claude's endearing trait is that he's this mastermind planner who has contingency and lie and obfuscation as three separate legal government names who still wants everyone to be safe and happy and hold hands and be friends.

Edelgard is strong, confident, and willing to do some of the shittiest things known to man for her goals. Her endearing trait is that her screams are cute. She's shy about her drawings of the player character. She blushes over the player potentially joking about having sex with her per her JPN version of her C support; you know, the one about how Byleth walks in on Edelgard muttering in her sleep from a nightmare about her tortured family? Perfect time to joke about fucking her! Dimitri and Claude's endearments are, well, endearing; Edelgard's are all straight up embarrassing for her.

Hell, even the smaller stuff is affected! Claude's passion for poisons and mushrooms are things he has no qualms about having others know about, despite how weird they are. Dimitri laughing at shitty jokes brings him no personal discomfort or embarrassment, despite just how loudly he laughs at them. They have traits to them that can easily be uwu worthy, and they don't care! Of the lords, only Edelgard does! Because, it feels like, the only way for a strong, resolute female character to come off as approachable is if she's knocked down a few pegs for specifically and only you, the player.

And that sucks ass! I'm sorry, but when I'm playing Edelgard's route I don't want to deal with her hiding herself away in her room for a month IN THE MIDDLE OF HER FUCKING WAR because she's just so embawwassed! It is so fucking insensitive that Edelgard is literally the only lord of the three who can have her trauma openly belittled at any point in the story by Byleth, all to have some cheap cutesy uwu moment about her fear of rats (calling her screaming in fear cute and INSISTING that it's really cute which is just. Fucking ew man)! Why can we fucking mock Edelgard's manner of speech during the MASSACRE OF REMIRE?

This shit doesn't happen to Claude or Dimitri! And saying "oh just don't pick those options then" is bullshit because no equivalent options exist for the male lords! It's piss-boilingly annoying that the second you choose to see things from the strong confident villainous ambitious female lord's perspective you can reduce her down to this bumbling moeblob just for you (sometimes unavoidably!) like!! Dude!

[ask-dick-grayson]

Hi!!!

You don't have to answer, but what's your biggest regret?

(ooc: hiii i don't usually make disturbing posts, this is supposed to be a mainly lighthearted blog but this really hit my inspiration and i got really into it!! please proceed with caution and at your own risk! thank you and thank you Anon for the ask!!<333)

CW!!!: disturbing images, gore, blood (i'm serious)

[allthegothihopgirls]

I love the asexual Bruce Wayne agenda and I totally agree with it. What I want to know though is how Bruce (asexual queen that he his) deals with his hormonal teenage boys?

Cause like Bruce never got the sex talk (I mean his parents died when he was young, and the family Buttler is Not giving his former employers son the sex talk) and that’s fine by Bruce. Cause he’s never felt these ‘urges’ that everyone talks about. Honestly, sex is overrated.

But, Batman prepares for everything. And one thing that people ALWAYS stress about parenting is having to give your kids the sex talk.

I just really want to know about the hijinks like;

Bruce: *Standing forlornly in front of a ‘Sex Ed’ PowerPoint* So, I understand that you probably have no desire for these… urges. That everyone talks about. But the parenting book (and society) decrees that to be a good parent, I need to give my children a proper education on sex.

Dick: *Very much not asexual* Yeah, no thanks dad this really helps!

Bruce: *Bewildered* How???

although the idea of bruce uncomfortably giving his version of a 'talk' is amusing, i don't think he'd give one at all. none of the boys would really give him any reason to, until he gets to tim at least (he's like, the only one i haven't fully projected my asexual agenda onto at this point).

dick's always been very responsible, so when he starts dating, maaaaybe bruce has like, a single thought contemplating whether or not to sit him down, but i think he'd get off with a "you know that you should always treat a woman right, yeah?" whether dick's actually dating women is up for debate but you get the point and a pat on the back. i believe that bruce operates predominantly under the 'if they have questions, they'll ask' mindset, so he trusts that if dick needs an answer to something, he'll come to bruce. (or just source an answer elsewhere)

i do also think that if anything, alfred would be the one to pull bruce up and ask if he'd adequately informed the boys of things 'one on one' (because he KNOWS that he hasn't). and even then, if bruce were to actually sit dick down, he wouldn't get so far as an introduction spent dancing around the topic because bruce is himself, mortified, before dick stops him and says that he doesn't have to give him this talk, because "wally already did" (much to bruce's disapproval).

as for jason, dying isn't great for a guy's love life. as i pretty much said previously, i don't think bruce would approach anything until it was absolutely relevant (when the boys are already in a relationship). so jason not getting a chance to really date before he died, means that bruce never had the opportunity to talk to him about it. i also believe he'd assume that jason already knows, with the crude jokes he makes, and the kind of people he grew up around on the streets. and obviously, by the time he comes back as red hood, he's too old to 'not know' and it's just presumed he knows his stuff.

i think tim might cause him a little bit (a lot) of trouble though. it definitely scares the shit out of bruce when he finds out about steph getting pregnant by her ex. it prompts him to fling fully into action mode to prevent tim ever being in that situation. that'd be the first time he's properly spoken to one of his kids about it, lots of emphasis on protection and what NOT to do.

however for any other talk pre-steph, i really do think he'd try to palm off the responsibility onto dick (he's very thankful that he's got kids old enough to do it for him), asking him to talk to tim. bruce would probably pull out all the cards "i'm too old" "he'd think it was less weird coming from you" "i don't know what you kids get up to, he's better off hearing it from someone who he can relate to" "i don't want to traumatise the kid" etc etc.

i do think the whole steph situation would be a bit of a reality-check for bruce though, and he'd have the realisation "that could have been any one of the kids" and he would be on his toes for a bit. especially with the amount of girls tim is rumoured to have relations with. him getting with bernard would be a big relief for everyone bruce i think.

once again when he gets with bernard, bruce is 100% palming off the responsibility of having that talk, onto one of his other kids. most likely jason. this is getting super far into my own personal headcanon territory, but literally none of them are straight to me, and i think jason would be the most 'comfortably' gay (mostly just his lack of care about the subject, being percieved as open-ness). bruce would 100% ask dick to talk to tim if it weren't for how private he tends to be with his love life in adulthood. (even getting him to just have the general 'talk' with tim was pushing it)

i don't think he'd ever talk with damian, the league definitely taught him (although objectively). i do think out of all the kids, he'd be the one to have questions though, mainly about the romantic aspect of relationships, as he struggles to wrap his head around the concept of 'love', (which really tests bruce's parenting abilities) i do think dick (having the bond he does with damian) would go out of his way to have a talk with him as he got older though.

as for cass, i don't think she would have ever been taught, with her irregular upbringing, as well as not going to regular school and all. but girls are new in the batfamily, and bruce doesn't want to touch that conversation with a ten-foot pole, so he calls diana in to do it for him.

final note, i also really do think a large contributing factor to bruce most likely never approaching the subject out of his own free will is just how private they all tend to be with their love lives. like i can see dick telling bruce that he's dating someone (as a teenager), but apart from a name and how he knows them, he's not really giving much else away. jason on the other hand just completely leaves it up for everyone else to figure out on their own (it lives entirely in my head that he's like this with his family, but is super close with his partner's family, which is a shock to everyone). if anything, tim's the only one who ever wants people to know about his relationships, for them to 'meet the parents' (bruce) etc etc. it probably all stems from bruce himself being a pretty secretive guy.

[mercymaker]

trying to make bg3 work for me today got me like

[teamstarkid-polls]

People of Hogwarts!!!! It is time…for the next tournament!

I am back!! This next tournament is all about celebrating Starkid’s songwriting and the amazing duos they’ve graced us with over the years, so starting tomorrow at 3pm EST, we’ll be commencing…

The Best Duet in Starkid Tournament!

I’ve gone through all of the shows and picked out each and every duet, and I’m HYPED for this one y’all. Starkid loves a duet and they knock it outta the park every single time!!

The battle pairings for Week 1 are as follows:

* Different As Can Be ❤️‍🩹 vs Even Though ❤️‍🩹

* Granger Danger 💟 vs Take Me Back 💟

* Me and My Dick 🤍 vs Perky’s Buds 🤍

* I’ve Seen You Around Here Before 🧡 vs When I Was… 🧡

* Ain’t Nothin Like A Dick ❣️vs Axe Man ❣️

* Gettin Along 🖤 vs Virginity Rocks 🖤

* Guys Like Potter 🩶 vs Take Off Your Clothes 🩶

* The Dynamic Duet 💙 vs Always Dance 💙

* To Be A Man⚜️ vs Tonight this School is Mine ⚜️

* A Thousand and One Nights 💘 vs My Hair/My Watch (IDK the song title oops) 💘

* The Power in Me 💖 vs Dirty Girl 💖

* Just A Taste 💚 vs Do You Want to Play 💚

* Paint Me 💛 vs If I Loved You 💛

* Together 💜 vs Cool as I Think I Am (Reprise) 💜

* CaliforMIA 🩵 vs Forever & Always 🩵

Get ready to rock, roll, and harmonize 🎵

[crimeronan]

i'm super tired right now so as i mainlined all the tags on that childhood horror poll at once i found myself going "damn. everyone's got every horror subgenre and plotline in the world going on. it's crazy how i'm surrounded by so many traumatized friends when my own childhood was so completely normal"

and then i was like

hey. ktikat.

What.

[robingivesmemagic]

i had a dream damian showed me his deviantart account

[normal-nightmare]

Dick and Jason should be more gay and insane about each other i think

[matriarchybarbie]

fucked up the way I constantly had to be there for my sister via text or she’d lose her shit and we’d all be afraid she’d kill herself, and now that she’s moved out slash tired of me she never replies to my texts.

[rocker-socks]

The way the "Brucie" persona falls apart with the slightest in universe digging because DC hates timeliness that make sense leads me to wonder how many people genuinely think Bruce just gave himself a lobotomy.