#and B'Elanna is 'girl who always wanted to hear something like that'

[bumblingbabooshka]

Patreon Request, November: B'Elanna x Harry [Patreon | Commissions]

[joshuaalbert]

harry kim… ive missed your voyager posting but i want to hear your thoughts on dear harry boy…

favorite thing about them

he's my most favoritest guy. i love him. if like .03% of the things that had happened to him happened to me i'd be out there murdering bitches or something and he's still just out here being a nice friendly guy who tries his best for the ship and for other people. like sometimes they do a rly good job of making it clear that there's this very deep well of resolve to him and he is an incredibly hard person to break despite experiencing the horrors so so so often. BUT i also love it when he's unhinged like he absolutely deserves to get to go off the rails sometimes. and i like it when he's making little petty comments he deserves that too.

least favorite thing about them

i mean we all know this but he's SO fucked over by the writers/showrunners. there's literally no reason for the no promotion/left out of major storylines/frequently sidelined in favor of other characters deal except some like. racist bullshit. writers will be like "well we just don't think he's an interesting character" bitch then make him interesting lol that's your job.

brOTP

harry and b'elanna literally the single most important dynamic in the show to me. every episode that they don't have a scene together i think about committing unfathomable acts of violence. i really enjoy that they genuinely feel like friends who care tremendously about each other (although i wish we saw them hanging out more off duty or in the mess hall or whatever).

also like idk if it's a brotp because they're not like Bros but the harry and janeway dynamic makes me feel uhh vaguely insane. now that you're here someone can understand what i mean when i say it's kind of the inverse of picard and wesley in a lot of ways lmao.

OTP

honestly i cannot deny the weird gay thing he and tom have going on. with tom and b'elanna i can be like yeah she deserves better but a) he's usually better to harry than b'elanna because the writers don't seem to know how to write romantic storylines without some bullshit and b) it lowkey doesn't matter if harry deserves better because regardless of my opinions they just Do Have a weird and compelling fucked up gay thing. the chute literally exists.

also my beloved friend @aberfaeth who was my source of voy knowledge before i started watching voy is a ptk enthusiast and i like. very much see that in some arrangement i like whatever they've all got going on

nOTP

uhhh. hm. i dont know that i have one in terms of things that people actually ship? i am very not fond of the show's trend of giving him like tall blonde traditionally (western) beautiful women as like short term love interests that we're clearly supposed to assume he has absolutely no chance with because he's a lame nerd. in a vacuum him always going for like women that fit a specific mold of Hot Girl that he basically never actually has chemistry with would give comphet but i do think in this case it's far more representative of, again, the racist bullshit and it being very clear that they don't see him as being a viable romantic option.

random headcanon

i have not been rotating him in my mind long enough to have a ton of these but i do very much stand by my harry and b'elanna undefeatable battle bots build team headcanon

unpopular opinion

im not immersed enough in the voy ecosystem enough to know what opinions are popular tbh but i do think any headcanon that has harry like pining after tom is simply not a correct interpretation of events imo

favorite picture of them

like I said. I like it when he’s unhinged and when he’s petty.

[benka79]

I know no one is reading this madness but... I just have to scream about the Tom Paris x Harry Kim subtext...

Timeless

Writers gave us two KimRis parallels...

First... Janeway asking Chakotay to have dinner with her. (With romantic hints all over)

While this was happening, Tom and Harry were close with each other. And Harry ends up gesturing to his best buddy platonic friend. It means. Writers showed us TWO RELATIONSHIPS in the past.

Then... Present... Chakotay had a new love and he was willing to not change the past to stay with this new lover...

Oh man, he changed Janeway for that girl, even when the producers made him stare longingly and sadly at our Captain. (Once when she asked Chakotay to dinner with her and the second time when she was dead and frozen on the bridge).

But... Why Harry hadn't doubts about turning back time??? Okay, we could think GUILT! REGRETS!

But because he mentioned they lost THE PEOPLE THEY LOVED... And he was willing to die for them... And he wouldn't change his mind... And they put that parallel with J/C... I will conclude, yeah, he was doing this because he wouldn't change ANYONE IN HIS FUTURE FOR HIS JUST PLANOTIC BUDDY TOM.

Now, the message Harry o himself to repair his mistake... Is linked to Tom Paris's letter to his father. Or how I like to call it, the letter he wrote for his own growth.

30 Days

Even when we got another rewind in Tom Paris career... From Lieutenant to Ensign, this episode represented again his huge issues with his father but it talked about what's inside Tom.

I'm gonna divide this insights in two parts.

Tom's Fantasy World: Captain Proton

Something that could start like a game, was playing a very important part of Tom inner thoughts.

The whole adventure of Captain Proton resume Tom's fantasies and deeper desires. Because deep inside Tom wants to save the day and be a hero. He needs to proof he is worthy by being a superhero. But mostly, he is always saving the girl in danger. And when I say the girl in danger, I'm talking about Harry. Because Harry represents the imposible love interest he wants to reach. In this episode he arrives to save Harry again but this time from the evil Delaney's twins. But Harry shows him he wanted more time with the evil girls. (Imagine Tom trying to save Harry from women just to show him that he should be his only hero in that story, in his fantasy.)

When they go out from the Holodeck, Paris talks again about the letters... (Because they're trying to fix the letters they got, one of them is Paris's father letter)

PARIS: Any progress on those starcharts?

MEGAN: I'll have them to you by fourteen hundred.

The fact that Paris is bringing back that to us is because again, something very meaningful related to his father will happen. Because this evil letter made his character to go backwards in his behavior. Remember?

But then... Look at this:

PARIS: I think Jenny really likes you.

KIM: Yeah, I know.

PARIS: I thought the feeling was mutual.

KIM: How many times do I have to tell you? I like Megan, but she won't give me the time of day.

PARIS: What is the difference?

KIM: You can't be serious.

PARIS: They're the Delaney sisters, Harry. They're twins.

KIM: Are you kidding? They're nothing alike. Jenny's aggressive and sometimes annoying. But Megan, she's quiet, artistic, and she's got that cute little dimple in her right cheek.

PARIS: Jenny doesn't have the dimple?

KIM: No dimple.

Okay, I will stop here. Pay attention to this because I'm in awe here of the amount of subtext: THIS IS A LOVE TRIANGLE AND IS A BLATANT REPRESENTATION OF B'ELANNA->TOM->HARRY.

Tom tried to show a point to Harry because Delaney's sisters, here representing women, are the same to him BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SHOW HIS FRIEND WOMEN ARE THE SAME. SHOULD HARRY TASTE THE RAINBOW THEN? 😂

And because is a Tom's episode, is Tom centric so... Jenny is B'elanna, because she's aggressive and sometimes annoying. Harry is Tom here, because B'elanna likes him. But Harry/Tom is in love with Megan, because Megan is quiet, artistic, and she's got that cute little dimple in her right cheek. This is screaming HARRY all over even the dimple!!!!

Gif credit @skjc-writes

But the sad thing here is Harry saying IS AN UNREQUITED LOVE. And then Tom adding this...

PARIS: Well, you've done it again, Harry.

KIM: What?

PARIS: Fallen for the unattainable woman. First it was a hologram, then a Borg, and now the wrong twin.

I'm screaming here!!!! Because HARRY IS UNANTTAINABLE TO TOM!!!!!! ARE YOU READING THISS?? Of course no, I'm alone here, but, nevermind. 😂

Deep Inside Tom's Ocean

Another huge symbolism was the ocean planet and how they needed to go deeper to find the truth about the instability of that world.

The Ocean was a symbolic representation of Paris. We had a whole world installed almost in the surface of the waters that was about to fall down. It was an entire society.

When Tom decides to go deeper, they found another contractions that belonged to an older society who had lived there before. But... What was there wasn't the source of their incoming destruction. The new society was the one carving their own graves.

How we could read this related to Paris? Well, as I said, imagine the ocean is Tom. The society and buildings that are next to the surface is the self-destructive personality Tom had created in order to face his failures in trying to fulfill his father's expectations.

The old society buried in the bottom of the ocean is his true self. He's sensitive, and creative, and innocent like a child. But he abandoned that purity to build the surface. Because his true feelings wouldn't be accepted by his father. (This include his bisexuality).

Throughout the whole episode they repeat that the old society in the bottom of the sea IS NOT GUILTY for the incoming destruction. So, Tom's deepest feelings and thoughts and fantasies, what he really is, is not the cause of his self destruction.

The bad people here is the new society, that fake shield Tom had built for years to carry his low self esteem created by his incapability of fulfill his father's expectations. It's a self-destructive personality and is not who he really is.

The bad thing is, Tom is trying to destroy it, but Janeway blocked him. He couldn't... And he is still in his emotional prison.

Finish the Letter.

Tom starts recording a message to his father. It starts as if he was apologizing, but it will end as a compilation of his true desires. He wants to fight for what he feels is worthy. And sometimes you just have to take the risk.

The fact that Harry went to see him and not B'elanna is very meaningful and it shows why is Paris pining for him more than for B'elanna. But it also shows why Paris feels Harry is the unattainable love for him. And it show in the fact that Tom was avoiding Harry's eyes. He felt ashamed. He was ashamed of the man his friend had to see. His rank had been lowered. He was in prison again. Even after confessing behind the mask of a fantastic adventure of a ship that Harry was his NUMBER ONE.

He was feeling again he didn't deserve Harry he didn't deserve to be visited by him. He even let his self destructive personality to show again, but Harry, with eyes full of pain, gives Paris an advice that will close some of his wounds.

Harry is the one waking him up from the nightmare of deception. That's a huge symbolism because even with Harry there, bringing him back to reality, Tom will relate that with the fact that he feels he left down Harry too.

Harry asks Tom to finish his letter. To start healing that huge damage he has inside, the voice of his father yelling at him to do this and that, to be better. To not be what he wanted to be.

Finish the Letter for his father, because it will help him. Even if his father never hear it. Tom did it. He finished the letter. And then in his fantastic world of Captain Proton B'elanna repeats those words to him he really needs to hear from his father: I'm proud of you.

He has a long way to walk through. But it caught my attention that in season 5 we are still stuck in this matter. He should be showing more growth as a character. We are swimming in the same daddy issue and I suspect we will be swimming for a long time too.

I think the writers doesn't know what 'move on' means.

Miscellaneous: Megan and Harry mentioned to Tom the number 14 like something he needed to reach. (The remaining time to know about the letters and to get out from prison) This number represents EQUILIBRIUM and also LOVE. Maybe are those the two things Tom needs to achieve. Mostly, self love and acceptance.

Another interesting fact was the episode in which Seven said Tom got out from the cryogenic bed 4 TIMES. I'm thinking that maybe is related to everytime Tom had been in prison. We are counting three times so far. Let's see 😂.

[summahsunlight]

This Way Became My Journey, Ch. 24

When Neelix opened his eyes for the second time that day, just Counselor Barrett was standing over him, one of her small hands was resting behind his ear and she was smiling at him. She had such a pretty smile, he concluded, and if he were in better spirits he might actually feel warmed by her presence. Instead he felt conflicted. She was here obviously to calm him down from before when he had his first anxiety attack, but he couldn't stand the sight of her standing up right and breathing on own her with her little shy grin. She could not possibly understand what was going on with him. How could she? She had never been forced to live like this. She had never been intentionally paralyzed.

"How are you feeling Neelix?" Her voice was soft, using gentle tones like a mother would use with their sick child.

What a stupid question. I'm feeling miserable. I may never get out of this device and be forced to spend the rest of my life in here. "I'm…feeling alright."

She patted his shoulder. "It's alright to tell me otherwise, Neelix. I understand."

Do you really? Do you really know what it's like to be lying here unable to move? Neelix averted his eyes. He didn't want to speak with her. He didn't want to listen to her tell him some therapeutic babble that she was undoubtedly going to give to him. It was not going to help, it was not going to get him out of this device. When he had first opened his eyes earlier that day he had been skeptical, but happy to be alive. Now, now he wished that the Commander and Ensign Kim had just left him to die on that planetoid. It would have been much better than lying here, staring up at the ceiling, which Kes' had decorated rather nicely, for the rest of his life.

"How about we talk about something other than yourself? How about Kes? How did you meet her?"

Thinking of Kes brought about another bout of melancholy. She had been standing there when he first had a woken when Lieutenant Barrett had told him what the Doctor and Lieutenant Paris had done to keep him alive. Kes had been so naïve, she was after all only one year old, confident that the Doctor was going to find a better solution. He had tried to get her to go on with her life, even if he knew that meant she'd be with Tom Paris. The man was already making the moves on her and Neelix wasn't even dead yet. "I don't want to talk about Kes."

"There must be something we can talk about to pass the time by."

"NO!" Neelix yelled, angry eyes flashing at her. "I don't want to talk! Just leave me alone!"

He saw her sapphire eyes flicker off to the side; she must have been looking at the holo doctor. And then he was surprised to see them snap back to him, with just as much anger. This wasn't the type of person he had read about in the ship's database that studied to become a counselor. For a moment, the glare almost reminded him of Captain Janeway. This girl could have command of a ship someday. I can see her going toe to toe with the Kazon just like Captain Janeway.

"You're going to listen to me and you're going to listen to me real good, understood Mister Neelix?"

She even sounds like Janeway. All he could do was nod his head; she had rendered him speechless for once.

"Good," she said, sternly. "Now I won't begin to try to even understand how you must be feeling, because I've never been lying in your situation. But, if this is going to work, you're going to have to get off of the woe is me bandwagon and start facing facts. You're alive and that's better than anyone could hope for if they've lost their lungs."

"My lungs weren't lost! They were stolen!"

"You're also lucky," she went on to say, ignoring him, "That you have a captain who is completely devoted to finding who did this to you. I've spent a few years in Starfleet and I'll tell you right now, I've yet to see a captain as loyal to her crew as Kathryn Janeway. Now, I would think you'd want to show her a little respect and gratitude for what she's doing for you and sitting here whining about everything is NOT the way to go about it."

Neelix instantly felt sheepish. How could such a small woman make me feel so…inferior?

Her eyes softened a bit. "I can only do so much for you Neelix. You have to be able to help yourself along the way. Now, let's try this again, what would you like to talk about?"

He bit his lip. "What's happens to Kes if Captain Janeway doesn't find my lungs?"

Lieutenant Barrett looked confused. "She would stay on Voyager."

"But what happens to her? Does she go on with her life?"

"That decision is entirely up to Kes what she does if Captain Janeway is unsuccessful in finding your lungs."

Neelix didn't hear her, he kept rambling. "Does she end up with…Tom Paris?"

She blinked. "What does Tom Paris have to with any of this?"

He didn't miss what she had said that time for her voice caught a little. He turned his eyes to meet hers. "You're trained to make observations, haven't you seen the way he looks at her?"

"He looks at every woman that way Mister Neelix. I've noticed no difference in his behavior."

"Even you?"

Her face flushed a little. "Even…me."

"You could do better than Tom Paris," Neelix pointed out to her. "Like…Ensign Kim."

Her eyebrow shot up. "Harry?"

"I see you two eating in the mess hall together all the time," Neelix replied, with a smile. It felt good to smile he realized. "Sitting and chatting; you always look so relaxed and happy when you're with him. And he did bring you those flowers while you were recovering from your injuries."

"How do you know about those flowers?"

"Ensign Brooks saw him bring them to you. Word gets around fast on a little ship, Lieutenant. Everyone knows. I guess… I just assumed that there could be more there. I think you'd make a very cute couple."

Again her cheeks got a little pink but this time she glared at him. "We're supposed to be talking about you."

If he could shrug his shoulders he would have. "Talking about other people makes me feel better."

She rolled her eyes. She has very pretty eyes, they remind me of the ocean on Talax. "Really Neelix, gossip is not what I had in mind when I came down here. The Doctor wanted me to offer you my professional services, not my friendship."

"I'd rather have your friendship."

She smiled warmly. "I'd rather be your friend."

He could hear the doors to sickbay swish open. Barrett looked up to see who had entered the room and straightened her form. "Kes is here, I'll leave you in her capable hands while I go help Captain Janeway make first contact with a species that, well let's face it, doesn't want to make first contact with us. However, if you need me don't be afraid to contact me, alright?"

"Alright." As she turned to go, he called out, "Thank you Lieutenant, I really do feel better now."

Ship Counselor's log, stardate 48532.4; Mister Neelix still exhibits emotions and behaviors that are disturbing me greatly during his recovery, he goes from being extremely depressed to being extremely happy in a matter of moments. If were home in Alpha Quadrant I would request a trauma specialist, but for now I'm going to have to make do. I can only hope that the aliens we have followed into the asteroid have Neelix's lungs, or we're in for one long and rough ride.

Tom Paris happened to glance up to see Sarah Barrett come out of the turbo lift onto the bridge. She could not have been gone more than twenty minutes. Either Neelix had had a fast recovery or he was not awake yet and the lieutenant saw it pointless to wait around for him to wake up while she could be more useful on the bridge.

Janeway looked surprised to see her as well. "Everything alright?" the Captain asked, softly.

Sara made her way down the steps towards the command station. "For the moment yes, Kes is with him. But, if we're not successful in getting his lungs back, I'm afraid he's in for an emotional roller coaster ride. If we were home I'd request the services of a trauma specialist."

The Captain frowned. "Unfortunately we don't have that luxury. You're just going to have to do your best, Sarah."

Sarah's eyes sparkled, Tom loved it when she got that look, it made her look endearing. "Don't worry Captain Janeway, I'm confident we'll get his lungs back."

I wonder if she really means those words, Tom thought, turning back towards his control panel. And then he remembered that not more than twenty five minutes before she had known that Michael Janeway had taken the alien device and was about to enter the ready room. No one else on that bridge had seen the child move, not even B'Elanna Torres who had been right next to the boy when he did it. Perhaps she does know we're going to get his lungs back.

How she had known was another question. He didn't think she was part betazoid, after all, there had to have been some empathic or telepathic forces working there for her to know. And if she was part betazoid, she had never mentioned it before. Of course there had been a lot of things that she had not mentioned to him. Like the fact that Harry Kim had given her flowers while she had been recovering, or that he had stopped by every day to check on her. Glancing over his other shoulder he caught a glimpse of Harry working at his console intensely.

Tom had wanted Harry to find a new girlfriend, just not one he was thinking about dating. He admitted that he had tried to gage Harry's feelings for her when they had been talking about her in the mess hall while she had been missing. Although his attitude had been that he was happy for Harry, on the inside he was downright jealous and B'Elanna Torres of all people had picked up on it today.

Which meant by tomorrow it would be all over the ship. Damn little ship.

"You're doing just fine, Mister Paris," Janeway said, firmly from behind him. "Just fine."

Her little vote of confidence took his thoughts away from his jealousy of his best friend. It also made him aware that he was not paying attention to his flying. Perhaps that had been Janeway's intention of complimenting him. Either way he should acknowledge her faith in him. "Thanks Captain."

"Sensors detect a large chamber up a head, Captain," Tuvok reported.

The Vulcan was correct, Tom soon found out, because Voyager was flying into a large cavern where they appeared to be thousands of Voyagers and the alien ship. Oh just fabulous, this day keeps getting better and better.

Chakotay was the one to voice the opinion that they all were thinking. "What the hell is it?"

"We appear to be seeing Voyager and the alien ship reflecting off the walls of the chamber," Harry informed the bridge crew.

"Can you determine which ship is the real one?" Janeway said, suddenly appearing to his left.

"No Captain. The walls are emanating severe electromagnetic interference. I cannot scan them directly," Tuvok replied.

"It's like trying to navigate through a hall of mirrors," Janeway said. "You never know when you're going to walk into the glass."

Tom peered up at her. "I'm still picking up the alien's ion trail; maybe we should still follow that?"

"They might have left a fake ion trail to lure us in here," Chakotay replied. "It may lead us straight into one of those walls."

"That's a chance we're going to have to take," Janeway said, turning about to Tuvok. "Commander, extend the deflectors to maximum range. If we do run into something it will give us an extra margin of error. Follow the ion trail Mister Paris, slowly. Mister Kim, continuous scans."

"Aye Captain."

Captain Janeway's assessment of the chamber, like it was a hall of mirrors, was pretty accurate Tom concluded after starting to follow the ion trail again. He tried his best to navigate the maze as it were, but he wasn't sure when or if he was going to crash the ship into a wall at any moment. Just what Janeway needs today, me wrecking Starfleet's most advanced ship.

He felt something brush against his arm and could see out of the corner of eye Michael squeeze his way in between the conn and his mother so he could stand with Janeway. Even though the captain had told him before to stay in her chair, she gently weaved her hand through his hair in a gesture that Tom had received from his mother when he needed comforting as a child. Right now his deep blue eyes were watching the viewscreen intensely but anyone could see the nervous strain on his little face. As frightening as it was for the rest of them, they were trained officers, they knew how to deal with a situation like this. Michael was a child, a very bright child, but still a child. The thought that they were hunting down an alien that had stolen Neelix's lungs must have been a terrifying concept for him.

Janeway must have realized this as well. "Michael, why don't you go into the ready room and check on Ava."

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea," he answered. "I don't want her to get scared and all."

With a hint of smile Tom watched as the boy moved past him and disappeared into the ready room. He had to admit that even though he had not been thrilled when he had first learned of the kids being on board, the boy was starting to grow on him and who could resist Ava's big blue eyes? They were a nice little moral boaster to have around even if at times Michael went tinkering into conduits and consoles that he really shouldn't be tinkering with.

His console beeped. Tom glanced down at his controls to see what the issue was. "Captain," he said. "I'm reading a minor fluctuation in the warp core. I don't think it's anything to worry about."

But even as he said those words the power started to drain all over the ship.

Janeway tapped her combadge. "Janeway to Torres, what's going on down there?"

"Some kind of power drain," B'Elanna Torres answered. "I can't localize it but we're losing power at a rate of seven percent per minute."

"The power drain is coming from somewhere in this chamber, Captain," Harry told her. " Some kind of dampening field. It's bleeding energy directly from the warp nacelles."

"B'Elanna shut down the warp core and go to emergency power," Janeway ordered Torres.

"No effect Captain."

"Keep me informed, bridge out," Janeway said, turning towards Harry. "Ensign Kim can you pin point the source of the dampening field?"

"It appears to be coming from two one seven mark zero one five, distance five hundred and forty seven meters."

"Tuvok, what would happen if we locked phasers and fired at the source?"

"The walls of the chamber reflect directed energy. The phaser beam would ricochet along an unpredictable path, possibly impacting with our ship in the process."

"Alright, we won't try that."

Tom grinned at conn. Janeway's dry sense of humor was unlike anything he had seen in a Starfleet captain. She's in a class all her own.

"Maybe we should," Chakotay spoke up. "What would happen if we the phaser power to a minimum setting and sent out a continuous beam?"

"The phaser would continue to reflect off of the bulkheads until it encountered a non reflective material," Tuvok answered.

"Like the real alien ship," Chakotay replied.

Tom was intrigued. On paper it sounded like a good idea, and he realized it was the only one they had at this point.

"We'd be using the phaser's like a search light, scan the interior of the station until we find the alien ship," Janeway conversed.

"Exactly."

"Do it."

The phaser beam shot forth from the bow of the ship and soon created a tangled web of orange throughout the chamber bouncing off each of the reflected ships. Tuvok adjusted the phaser's so they wouldn't be harmful to Voyager if they managed to find their ship before the alien one.

"Wait a minute," Harry called out, "I think I've found the real ship."

"On screen."

The image on the viewscreen changed before him and Tom was looking at the alien ship with a phaser beam not reflecting off of it. The idea had actually worked. That was easy.

"Mister Paris bring us within transporter range of that ship."

"Yes ma'am."

"I'm picking up two life signs," Harry said.

Tuvok gave a brief report next. "The alien ship is powering up engines."

"Bridge to transporter room three, lock onto those two life signs and beam them aboard."

Tom saw Janeway move swiftly across the bridge and enter the turbo lift with Sarah and Tuvok. He almost pitied them, having to make first contact under situations like this, of course Sarah had dealt with the Borg, and certainly this was a walk in the park compared to that.

Well, maybe. Janeway was not going to be happy that these aliens had led them on a chase and attacked one of her crewmen. He had only been on this ship a month and already he had seen her temper. Sarah was not only going to have the job of first contact she was going to have the job of calming Janeway down to make a good first contact. Good first contact? How can it be good when they've already hurt one our crewmen? It's already gotten off on a bad foot.

"Tom, where's Mama?"

He looked up to see that Michael had now rejoined them on the bridge and with a rather cranky looking Ava. Guess who just woke up. "She went to the transporter room to get Neelix's lungs back. We beamed the aliens who took them on board."

"We found the alien's ship? And brought the aliens on board?"

"We did."

The boy looked worried. "Tom, they aren't going to hurt Mama are they? What if they want her lungs too?"

Tom blinked, noticing the glare that Chakotay gave him. Right, the kid is five, too much information. "Uh, well she took Commander Tuvok with her, and some security. They had phasers. I'm sure she'll be fine—,"

"But Neelix had a phaser too! It's standard procedure to bring a phaser on an away mission! And that didn't stop them from taking his lungs!" Michael gasped, fretful tears streaming down his cheeks.

What the hell have I done? He looked towards Chakotay for help, but the first officer shook his head, as if to tell him he had to get himself out of this mess. "Michael, listen, stop crying. Everything will be fine, promise."

This only seemed to make the boy cry harder, which made Ava start to cry and garner looks from the whole bridge crew his way. Tom felt like crawling into a hole and hiding for hours. Even more so when Michael wailed, "That's what Mama said when we hadn't heard from Daddy in three days! And he didn't come home!"

Tom felt his heart drop. He couldn't imagine what it had been like for the boy, who had been only three at the time, to lose his father. It must have been harder on Janeway trying to comfort him. But Janeway didn't have the option that Tom had now, glancing at Chakotay briefly, he called out, "Computer locate Captain Janeway."

[admiralkatcornwellfan]

for @ejc74656 who Sent me prompt #158'this is awkward'

from the prompt list https://admiralkatcornwellfan.tumblr.com/post/178440529455/nearly-200-writing-prompts-feel-free-to-reblog

'This is awkward'

wasn't the first thought came to Kathryn's mind when she literally bumped into Chakotay on DS9. but after initial greetings and smile that felt stretching too much instead of being genuine , Kathryn began to feel the sheer awkwardness of this situation.

He was alone, of course. And she wouldn't even think of the awkwardness if she managed to bump into..well,both of them.

Not that it would happen anyway, according to the scuttlebutt of Voyager (which was functioning at optimum capacity even after the abrupt return to Alpha Quadrent) she had left Earth for Vulcan, for a prestigious position in Vulcan science Academy. and for him , he had disappeared from Earth not a moment to soon their three month debriefings had ended.

Not even B'Elanna knew where he was and Kathryn didn't had the need or the energy to dissect the emotions and feelings his sudden departure made her experience. Instead, she bent her head down, posed for Starfleet propaganda, her own promotion as a vice Admiral and worked until she forgot she ever left Earth in the first place. Not that it worked anyway, if her all too familiar night terrors and Panic attacks were any sign.

It hurt like hell when she was 'not so gently' told by her own charming future self that he was with her, of all people he could choose to be with , he chose the one that hurt her most.

Kathryn Sometimes wondered if he did it by purpose, a move to hurt her back , after all the pain and heartbreak she caused him through years. She did want to forget she wasn't to be blamed but her guilty conscience reminded her too often the look in his eyes when she was with Kashyyk or 'the-alien-of-the-week' and she Never missed the jealousy undertone of his amused voice , when he told her to have 'fun' with Michael Sullivan.

All the thoughts she mulled over countless glasses of wine in Quiet evenings for past 8 months came back to her in a rush , and it was overwhelming , so to speak.

She didn't know what to feel; anger, sadness, betrayal or happiness that he hadn't blown himself up with another shuttle. So she choose awkwardness. that was way better and she had an image to uphold.

Even in a place like DS9, Face of the golden girl of Starfleet was never going to go unnoticed and to add up to it, she was in her full uniform as well.

Chakotay tugged at his ear and Kathryn knew he was feeling the same thing and she also knew the water under the bridge was far too Deep when it came to their relationship. Or lack thereof.

But how much she missed him, oh God how many times she turned to her left to say something to him and found the cold empty space instead of the familiar warmth and strength his presence provided? or the dinners and lunches he would drag her into, despite her protests but she'd thoroughly enjoy nontheless? Or the comfortable silence inbetween them while they worked, sipping their favorite beverages and Chakotay breaking the silence to tell a new rumor he heard via the scuttlebutt (how he get to know all that, she never knew) or just stories from his Academy days and she'd join in with a full laugh or a small story of her own. Gods, she missed her best friend, and she was determined to get back that, at least.

So she found herself almost dragging him to her VIP quaters and what a sight that must've been. The Hero of the Delta Quadrent , a vice Admiral , dragging her former first officer, a tall, dark ,handsome civilian , dressed in black leather through Quark's bar.

Chakotay followed suit, never even questioning her once.

And once they were safely inside her darkend quaters, and the door shut behind them, she turned to get a good look at him.

He was much leaner than when she last saw him, his face gaunt and a few new lines added here and there, the skin turned to a darker brown instead of the golden hue she was used to.

She could feel the roughened palms of his underneath her own softened ones, and she could take a clever guess where he had been over all this time.

'Have you finished looking, Kathryn'?

he asked finally, amusement evident in his voice as he smiled at her, full dimples on effect.

Kathryn found her face was getting more heated that she liked and almost felt annoyed at herself for being this responsive to him. She was never immune to those beautiful dimples for all the years in DQ and it seemes she was still the same , despite the long absence Between.

'Have you'? she countered his question with her own because she knew and already felt his gaze lingering on herself and as always he was a gentleman in that as well.

'Never will be'

His answer gave her more questions as now she followed him to the couch and almost flopped on it, a defeated sigh escaping her lips.

'What do you want from me Kathryn? I'm not saying that seeing you here is a thought that crossed my mind. but I want to know .... ' he ended in a softer tone , unsure how to procede,because this scenario was not even in his mind by lightyears whenever he thought about his meeting with Kathryn. He was prepared for a cold shoulder , heck even anger. but not a Marathon through corridors of a Deep Space station and ending up in her quaters. Not that he minded anyway.

Kathryn licked her suddenly dry lips and swallowed a knot that was in her throat (which came always when she thought about him) along with her pride and answered quickly. Janeways were Never cowards and they were all 'straight shooters' but she had been a coward for far too long when it came to him. And all technicalities and semantics aside, she owed him the truth.

'I want you back , Chakotay. I need you in my life. I missed you so much and I'm so sorry...' her voice failed her as she avoided his gaze, stood up and walked to the viewport to look at the still-stars outside.

Chakotay was shell-shocked for a moment, unsure of what he heard. Kathryn Janeway he knew, had a hard time admitting her faults and expressing her vulnerabilities. Just when he thought he figured this woman out, she just can surprise him with a move he Never even anticipated from her. He was thinking about going to Earth, staying with Parises for couple of days and then going to find Kathryn to at least salvage what was left of their friendship.

but here he was in DS9, just an hour after his shuttle from Dorvan landed, listening to a confession from the person he didn't even dreamt of listening to . In his mind, he had dishonoured a vow he made , despite what ever she did, he swore to stay by her side and bear her burdens. but what did he do? In guilt and shame over his actions, ran to the furthest corner he could think of like a kicked puppy.

He sighed and almost smiled as he stood up to join her at the viewport and placed his hand on her shoulder.

Startled, Kathryn almost jumped but relaxed when she realized it was just him.

'It is I who should apologize to you. I promised that I would be there for you and look what I did'. he chuckled humorlessly.

Kathryn looked into his eyes and saw a myriad of emotions swimming in Those dark depths she always found mysterious and intriguing. And just then she knew she didn't want to be part from him for another day. She waited for 7 long years for this, to be free of protocols an regulations that strangled her.

'we both have lot of things to point out if we are going to do just that. but I don't want to waste anymore time, Chakotay.

Are you with me?'

and he replied with the answer she was well used to hearing from him before finally gathering her in his arms and kissing her on the lips.

'Always'.

Also on Ao3 ( for some reason I can't link it)

[alyssalenko]

Prompt: “Okay but hear me out: Fluffy. Sharks.” for Shep/Joker

This took so much longer than I expected and took a detour I wasn’t anticipating–remindimg me of Voyager when B'Elanna was worried about their kid being part Klingon and wanted to medically alter their child, but here you are.

“So an under the sea theme? Did we finally agree?”

“Think about it; we can do various blue and greens, and your favorite purple and imagine all the creatures! Turtles, whales, sea slugs, coral…and sharks! All the sharks!”

He bit his lower lip, barring her way before she made it fully up the stairs, Abigail laughed, rolling her eyes as she tugged his beard gently and kissed him softly.

“Jeff, move; let your pregnant wife off the stairs. Is there some reason you won’t let me pass…and why is your hair wet again?”

“It’s called a shower, and people take them to get clean.”

She smacked the brim of his hat down. “Answer the damn question.”

“Promise me you won’t get mad.”

“That depends wholly on what you did.”

He grabbed his the bill of his hat, removing it from his head before replacing it–his nervous tick. He supposed that was fair.  Abigail crossed her arms over her chest, as best she could due to her swollen belly, arching an eyebrow at him and making him sigh as he stepped aside to allow her to pass. Her hand found his as they walked down the hallway together towards the nursery. She turned the knob, the door swinging inwards, revealing a transformed room; the walls were painted a beautiful blue-green with hints of purple flecked throughout, and different colored coral prints lining the base board, giving the whole room an underwater vibe.

Abigail whirled on him, torn somewhere between flabbergasted and appalled.

“You decorated the nursery without me? We were supposed to do that together!”

“Okay, I didn’t know when you were gonna get home from your meeting, and I wanted to surprise you…but hear me out: Fluffy. Sharks.” He limped over to the crib, tugging her along behind him and held up a large blue shark plushie.

She kissed him quickly, of course he’d had help due to his brittle shin bones, but what a nice surprise. “It looks amazing, Jeff!”

That explained the water droplets in his beard–he’d had to shower to get all the paint off in order to keep his secret, the wet hair suspicious after their shower together that morning. But she couldn’t find it in herself to be mad, not with the love and effort that had gone into making their little girl’s room so perfect and one of a kind. Though, having the nursery decor up and finished made the whole thing kind of surreal; they were having a baby, a little girl who was bound to be their whole world. Sometimes he found her with her eyes glued to her stomach, mystified that a life was growing inside her. His hand was gentle as he placed it on the side of her swollen stomach, feeling their baby kick against his palm. Joker sighed heavily and collapsed into the rocking chair next to the crib, fiddling with the brim of his hat, a misplaced emotion lurking behind his eyes when he glanced at her.

Fear.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” She braced her hands against the arms of the chair, pressing her forehead against his.

How did she always know?

“Abs, what if Spencer has Vrolik’s?” His eyes met hers, worry swimming behind them.

Abigail shrugged. “Who cares?”

“You should! My disease put a strain on my parents’ marriage; I needed help sometimes for the most mundane things; and it’s hard to miss the pity in people’s eyes when they see you struggling. Maybe we should consider an operation, in-utero gene splicing or something.”

“Absolutely not; I’ll love her even if she has brittle shin bones. She was created with the man I love and I’ll help her overcome her obstacles no matter what it takes. She’s our daughter and I’ll always be there if she needs me. Though, I’m pretty sure if my death couldn’t keep me away from you, something like this is a trifle; I promise you here and now, that I won’t let it be a strain on our marriage…if I break my word, remind me of this moment. For better or for worse I promised on our wedding day.”

Somewhat reassured, Joker leaned up, cupping her chin as he brought her lips to his and pulled her down on his lap, fingers drawing little circles on her stomach as he felt Spencer shift again. He still worried of course, it was easy to say such things, but it was hard to be ready for your child to be sick or in constant pain, and even if she didn’t mean to, there was a chance she would pull away from him. That scared him. She was his everything and to lose her again, would destroy him, not sure he’d ever be able to pick up his shattered pieces. Abigail’s hand covered his where he rested it on her stomach; now she was worried–not for the same reason, but he would let this gnaw at him, and that wasn’t what she wanted. There was one person who could put her husband’s mind at ease, someone who knew his affliction and had been his staple for years.

“Grab your coat and put on your shoes.” Abigail kissed him softly before sliding off his lap and pulling him to his feet.

“Where are we going?”

“To someone with the answers you seek.”

She pulled up her omnitool to call for a shuttle as she wrapped her arm around his, taking his hand in hers and interlacing their fingers together. Abigail leaned against him as they descended the stairs together, quickly grabbing coats and shoes and making their way out of the apartment. Joker sat so close to her in the shuttle, reassuring himself with her presence, that she was here, and that here she would remain. She stroked the back of his hand with her thumb, leaning in to kiss him and let him know that everything was going to be fine–he was tense and even though he returned the kiss, he seemed less than enthusiastic. Their destination wasn’t as familiar as Joker hoped it would be. And he couldn’t quite figure it out. Even as they trailed up the walkway, arm in arm, hand in hand, it wasn’t until Abigail knocked and the door swung inward to reveal Dr. Chakwas that he knew what they were doing.

They were here to talk genetics, and medical options should the worst come to pass; how was it possible to love Abigail even more than he already did?

“Evening Karin. You busy?”

Karin smiled, shaking her head and ushering them across the threshold.

“I’m never too busy to see you, Commander.”

[aces-to-apples]

Thanks to a revisit of @poplitealqueen’s posts on it, I’m lying here at a quarter past two in the morning, thinking about USS Voyager going through a wormhole and ending up in a galaxy far, far away, and tbh? I think it would be an incredible experience.

More than, I feel, any of the other Starfleet crews, Voyager would probably be best suited to ending up in an entirely new galaxy that also happens to be at war with itself. I mean, it’d be absolutely heartbreaking because they’re now even farther than just one lifetime away from home, but they’ve already traversed a vast amount of the unknown and untraveled Delta Quadrant. They’ve already learned to bend and mold the rules to mesh with their own ethical code, and they’ve both witnessed and experienced first-hand that war is messy and brutal and never as clear-cut as its made out to be.

Captain Janeway is a highly empathetic individual who always, always, always wants to help others in any way she can. She’s warm and maternal with her crew, and vicious and uncompromising with her enemies. She’s retained a sense of curiosity and wonder about the universe throughout years of hardship, sometimes becoming worn and fatigued, but never giving up. If there’s a natural phenomenon to be observed, a scientific breakthrough to be made, or a question about the human (and non-human) condition to be considered, she’s almost guaranteed to be right in the thick of it. A brilliant tactical thinker and a trained diplomat, her philosophy is very DC Amazonian in that she’ll fight like hell if she needs to, but she will always take the path of de-escalation if it’s open to her. She’d take the Republic and the Confederacy by storm, and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that she’s got a fair amount of Force-sensitivity.

Commander Chakotay, from the first moment we meet him, is a man of principles first and regulations second. Understanding and kind to his core, he’s nonetheless willing to make difficult decisions and fought a guerilla war because he felt so strongly about the cruelty and injustice he saw being committed. Deeply spiritual and endlessly respectful of people and cultures, he’s a scientist (anthropologist, specifically) first and a warrior second. And, often, before all of that, even a voice of reason, he’s a friend. The desire to break away from a corrupt regime would resonate deeply with him, I think, and the chance to witness and study all of the brand-new cultures would be a dream come true to him.

Lieutenant Commander Tuvok is a credit to the Vulcan race, eminently logical, but has also learned to soften somewhat during the years of being among humans. His friendship with Captain Janeway, specifically, has granted him a unique perspective on human nature and over time he’s managed to internalize some distinctly non-Vulcan ideals and morals. Logic may be the core tenet of Vulcan culture, but what so many fail to realize is that just because something is logical, that doesn’t make it right. I feel like Tuvok would have some choice words for both the Republic and Confederate Senates, not to mention the Jedi Order itself, and I, for one, would pay real money to hear them.

Lieutenant B'Elanna fucking Torres, ladies and gentlemen, would be a goddamn powerhouse. A mechanical genius as well as a Maquis veteran, she’s also an avenging angel of Go Fuck Yourself And Take Your Bullshit With You. The only thing keeping her Klingon temper and instincts to Fuck Shit Up at bay are her moral compass and the seven people behind her physically holding her back. I’m pretty sure she’d become a patron saint to the Grand Army of the Republic and goddamn if she doesn’t remind every Mandalorian bounty hunter from the Core to the Outer Rim of better times. Dooku beware, this woman is coming for you and your bullshit, and she’s also on her way to steal your girl. (Don’t tell me Ventress wouldn’t fall ass over elbow in love with B'Elanna fucking Torres, I wouldn’t believe you anyway.)

If B'Elanna fucking Torres is a patron saint of the GAR, then Seven of goddamn Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero fucking One, is a straight-up goddess. Coldly logical, with down-to-the-atom precision, Seven has fought tooth and nail for every single scrap of humanity and individuality she possesses. After eighteen years as a Borg drone, purged of any sense of morality or individuality, she’d be in a unique position to understand the plight of the clones. There is zero doubt in my mind whatsoever that if ever Seven were to choose a moral crusade, freeing the clones would be it.

Tbc.