#and 90% of where i live becomes inaccessible

[hazel2468]

“Inaccessibility has a massive impact on disabled people, especially people with mobility issues and those who use aids like canes, walkers, wheelchairs, service animals, etc. and these things are often ignored and should not be and you are right to be angry about it.��

And

“Even within the disabled community, there is a disgusting amount of dismissal and yes, ableism directed at people who have needs related to mental illness/mental disorders- to the point that other disabled people will refer to those of us with invisible disabilities, chronic illness, and mental disorders as abled and tell us that our needs are lesser and that is not okay.”

Are statements that must co-exist.

[circumference-pie]

赠去婢 For the Maidservant

While deep in 苍兰诀 brainrot and research for this post, I came across a poem by the Tang poet 崔郊 Cui Jiao, whose only surviving work is this couplet:

公子王孙逐后尘，绿珠垂泪滴罗巾。 侯门一入深如海，从此萧郎是路人。 [2]

The sons of nobles and kings scuffle in the dust, Onto silk Lüzhu's tears fall, Once through highborn doors, the world becomes fathomless like the sea, From then on, the one who loved you is no more than a stranger passing by.

Backstory

The story goes: a young and upcoming scholar goes to live at his aunt's house, where he meets and falls in love with a maidservant his aunt owns, renowned locally for her beauty. The maid returns his feelings, but in financial straits, the (presumably oblivious) aunt sells her to a high official. Unable to forget her, the scholar waits for the maid outside the official's house until she comes out on the day of the Hanshi Festival.

It's an emotional reunion between the two lovers who can no longer be together, and the scholar, Cui Jiao, pens the above lines after the meeting to give vent to the feelings in his heart.

This is as recorded in a Tang-dynasty anecdote collection [1].

Line-by-Line Details

This was a fairly obtuse poem to me, so I've relied a lot on interpretations and explanations I found on the web.

公子王孙逐后尘 gōng zǐ wáng sūn zhú hòu chén The sons of nobles and kings scuffle in the dust

The first seven feet are fairly straightforward and exude discontentment [4].

And then:

绿珠垂泪滴罗巾。 lǜ zhū chuí lèi dī luō jīn Onto silk Lüzhu's tears fall,

[3] goes into extensive detail about the origin of the phrase 绿珠 Lǜzhū, or literally "green pearl": it was the name of a much-favored concubine of a rich, amoral man, a concubine who was also desired by a powerful official. [4] asserts that this allusion is supposed to evoke a woman who was snatched away. I think one reasonable Western subsitution for Lüzhu would have been Helen, another famous beauty who started a lot of fighting.

侯门一入深如海 hóu mén yí rù shēn rú hǎi Once through highborn doors, the world becomes fathomless like the sea

[4] explains that 侯门 hóu mén, arguably translated as the Marquis Door, refers to the homes of the nobility, and [5] elaborates that it connotes a world inaccessible to the common people. A variant of this line, 侯门似海, later came to express the distance between people created by a gap in wealth, as used in the Dream of the Red Chamber [6].

And, last but not least:

从此萧郎是路人 cóng cǐ xiāo láng shì lù rén. From then on, the one who loved you is no more than a stranger passing by.

Oh, "Xiao-lang." The source of much confusion in Love Between Fairy and Devil.

It's not certain how the term 萧郎 — "a man named Xiao" — also came to mean something like a dream lover or a beloved one. [7] points to a fairy tale involving phoenixes. [8] says it refers to an emperor of Southern Liang, Xiao Yan, who was the perfect man in every way, and therefore every woman's dream lover.

Whatever the origin of the meaning, it is this poem by Cui Jiao that is its most famous, and probably cementing, usage. One reasonable Western subsitution for Xiao-lang might be "Romeo," to get the implications of a male name that is also one of a literary lover.

As a reader, the quiet devastation of this last line kills me.

Further Backstory

But the story of the scholar and the servant girl has a happy ending! Supposedly, the official heard the couplet, realized what happened, and let the maid go with Cui Jiao. (And they lived happily ever after.)

References

[1] https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E5%B4%94%E9%83%8A/513533 [2] https://ctext.org/text.pl?node=207128&if=en#n207130 [3] https://vip.chinawriter.com.cn/member/yshan/viewarchives_422517.html [4] https://www.arteducation.com.tw/mingju/juv_1ce6be8ead88.html [5] https://www.baike.com/wikiid/8766869631118863385?view_id=2ug072h75is000 [6] https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E4%BE%AF%E9%97%A8%E4%BC%BC%E6%B5%B7 [7] https://www.zdic.net/hans/%E8%90%A7%E9%83%8E [8] https://zhidao.baidu.com/question/2126004669919367147.html

[gaast]

How many right-handed people have ever even thought of the world in ways like this?

Look, I know handedness is such a small thing, but if you're right-handed you've never thought about how designed for right-handed people the world is. It's actually really insidious, because when you're left-handed, you just get used to it. You just become modestly ambidextrous. You just use right-handed computer mice, right-handed scissors (imagine having left-handed ones!). You don't even get how right-handed it is to write from left to right! If you live with right-handed people you just have to deal with the toothbrush holder being on the right side of the sink.

It's all such small potatoes too! It's so ridiculous to complain about it all! Because it barely matters, all these little things, they just barely matter at all, they don't really affect you all that much, hell, you barely notice it, you barely care what hand you use for your mouse or how awkward it is to grab your fucking toothbrush sometimes. You don't give a shit.

The bullshit brainless parallels between sexism and racism write themselves but I'm not stupid enough to think that THESE experiences even approximate those of afab people or people whose skin isn't white, god forbid. People don't shout down the inclusion of left-handed characters in movies and Blizzard doesn't track handedness in their fucking garbage diversity triangulation metrics for Overwatch. What I experience as a lefty is NOTHING compared to that. But if nothing else it gives me a GLIMPSE of what it's like to be in a world that is so clearly not-for-you, an almost meaningless window into at least understanding just HOW the world excludes them in more ways than maybe they even know. And hell, I'm queer, so it's not like I don't have other avenues for being shit upon daily.

No, the closer experience is the disabled experience, and even then it is so not the same. Again, I am in no way making meaningful COMPARISONS between the lived experiences of left-handed and disabled people. But you know the fuck what? Left-handed people barely get mentioned when it comes to accessible design considerations. Both groups are valid accessibility concerns, but laterality rarely seems to factor into discussions of accessibility (at least from what I've seen, and I admit to being fairly ignorant here). Considering how inaccessible the world is for lefties, though, I feel confident asserting that. If I were wrong, wouldn't the world be more accessible?

And why isn't it? Why isn't handedness a more salient accessibility concern? Do we live in a fantasy world where people only ever lose the use of their left hands? Can you say for certain that you will always, ALWAYS, be right-handed?

Am I saying lefties have it worse than disabled people? Fuck no. It's just baffling to me that handedness is such a NOTHING. It's so fucked up that 90% of the population doesn't realize that the world was designed FOR THEM. To them it's just normal. What's 10% of the global population? 900 million people?

So for the fucking Nintendo Wii to call itself a family machine when they knew full and goddam well that its flagship game was going to be inaccessible, even if JUST SLIGHTLY, to 10% of its audience, and to simply NOT CARE... And frankly, the DS and 3DS? Do you REALLY think most games on those systems gave lefties equivalent experiences? I actually bought a game on the DSi store that was played vertically and had no setting to flip to a left-handed orientation. Off the top of my head, TWEWY and Rhythm Heaven were accessible (imagine if you couldn't control your top-screen partner with the face buttons though!), but, much as I love it, WarioWare Touched couldn't have been. All it woulda had to do was mirror its games, fix any meaningful textures that would fuck, and ship it with an option. But they didn't.

So why would I fucking wanna engage with Nintendo products? Why would I wanna be gung-ho for VR headsets? Sure, I CAN adapt, but why MUST I? And if these systems are making ME feel left out then fucking imagine how people with motor control issues must fucking feel.

There isn't a point to this. Accessibility is a necessity. You can never understand how you interact with the world unless you break.

And if you try to say that I am claiming that what lefties experience equates to or is worse than what women, Black people, or disabled people go through, either go fuck yourself or read what I actually fucking wrote.

[enbycrip]

Yeah; *not* loving the use of the *deeply* disableist “if a wheelchair user can stand they’re faking disability” trope there, particularly when I’ve actively spoken about the excellent portrayal of intersectional disability in this film.

In real life, the vast majority of wheelchair users have some capacity to walk or stand, often using another mobility aid like a stick or crutches, or leaning against walls or another person, including about 90% of people living with spinal injury and paralysis.

I have hEDS and POTS. I don’t use my wheelchair as much as I used to these days, in part because I’ve worked really hard on physio and in part because I’ve acquired a fantastic rollator; but I’m still a full time mobility aid user and part-time wheelchair user.

Think of it like an abled person using a car to travel 70 miles. Just because you can walk a couple of hundred metres with ease and without pain doesn’t mean you can walk 70 miles with ease and without pain. Actually, if you did that it would take you days, you would be in a lot of pain, you would probably have injuries, and you would be so exhausted you would be unable to do anything else for days or weeks. It would massively disrupt your ability to live a life where you need to travel 70 miles to do anything.

In the same way, just because a disabled person can stand up, or walk a couple of steps between, say, a their wheelchair and their couch, doesn’t mean they can walk 500 metres - or indeed a couple of miles - without injuring themselves or becoming so exhausted they can’t do anything for days or weeks.

The last time I tried to walk 500 metres - with both my crutches - was to go to an inaccessible theatre in September; by the time I got to the door of the theatre from my car I was literally crying in pain and unable to stand due to exhaustion. I made the decision at that point that I will never be going to a non-wheelchair-accessible theatre again. Which sucks, frankly; I fucking love small theatres and small performances that all too frequently take place in random loft spaces.

Real wheelchair users frequently face real life violence, abuse and allegations of fraud for mobilising or even moving our legs in public because of misconceptions like this - including unhoused wheelchair users. *Despite* this, many shelters and other essential public buildings may advertise themselves as “wheelchair accessible” when they have steps or other obsctables that require a wheelchair user to walk to access them.

Can’t we just burn down a shitty landlord’s home without resorting to harmful disableist tropes?

YES.

ALL OF THIS.

THIS is why this film still hits so hard after all these years.

It’s not some sugary BS about “you can think yourself out of suicidal depression by just learning to appreciate what you’ve got”.

It’s about the fact that people who work really fucking hard for their communities experience active, targeted, criminal pushback from exploiters.

About the fact that caring, in all its manifestations, is incredibly physically and mentally taxing and is often done by disabled people - YES, George Bailey is a disabled protagonist. His impairment prevents him from military service and actively causes him chronic pain that, as a person who lives with it, *will* affect his energy levels and fatigue constantly.

Notably, IAWL actually has a bunch of disabled characters. Not only is George disabled, but I’d put money on his uncle who loses the money being ADHD and very possibly having other learning disabilities and the film *actively* flagging that fact to the audience, even if it doesn’t necessarily know what ADHD is.

Which casts a whole new light on its principal villain being disabled. Instead of Old Man Potter being a flat caricature of “disability = evil”, what he *actually* is is a fantastic example of the fact that marginalisation in one axis does not prevent someone being an active oppressor - and wealth and class privilege, in particular, tend to mean a person actively acting to oppress other people who share their marginalisation in order to privilege the interests of their own class as a whole. Sometimes even damaging their own individual interests to do so.

It’s also super interesting that the *material* miracle in the film is not the appearance of an angel to show George what life would have been like if he had never existed, but the *community solidarity* that saves him from jail and his family from penury. The supernatural intervention can change his *mindset*, and that is *incredibly* important, given it *literally* stops him killing himself, but the *material* intervention is mutual aid from his own community that he has given so much to.

Which is incredibly radical as a message. It’s not saying “faith is worthless”; it’s saying “faith can be an incredibly important factor in creating resilience in moments of despair, but we can’t, and *need not*, wait for a supernatural miracle to save us; we have the capacity to save ourselves and each other in our hands right now”.

[scripttorture]

One of the central characters in a fantasy story I'm writing has torture as part of her backstory. She was captured by an evil race, and one individual in particular put her through a "training" regime designed to turn her into a useful/trustworthy slave. Specifically the goals of the training were:

- destroy her sense of self / agency

- overwrite her ingrained response of healing herself when injured (she has magical healing powers)

- an affectionate or worshipful disposition towards her captors

- immediate obedience to any command

I feel like both physical and psychological torture / mental conditioning are probably appropriate, though I'm leaning away from including sexual abuse. I honestly don't know much about torture at all and the only things that come to mind as producing a result similar to what I'm looking for are the Game of Thrones torture sequence and the use of obdience collars in the Codex Alera book series. The latter is very interesting to me because it is a magical device that inflicts pain in reaction to disobedience but also inflicts pleasure to reward obedience.

I guess I'm just wondering if you have any advice for what kinds of methods would be good to include in a process designed to produce obedience, rather than torture for its own sake or to extract information, as well as if there are any common pitfalls I should try to avoid in writing about such a thing.

The training itself won't be in the book, but I need to be familiar with it for backstory purposes because later in the story this character encounters her torturer again, and is subjected to some further abuse before she finally overcomes her fear and kills him.

Alright well I’m going to be straight up with you: the scenario you’ve presented is a very common torture apologist trope. It’s incredibly unrealistic. And it’s unrealistic in ways that support torture by claiming it can be ‘useful’.

 Which probably means that you’re new to the blog and haven’t heard me give this talk before. That’s OK, we all learn sometime and it’s not my intention to shame you for the fact you’re not as obsessed with this stuff as I am or couldn’t afford to shell out for the books.

 Torture does not produce obedience. The best evidence we have right now suggests it encourages active resistance.

 If you got a lot of your inspiration from Game of Thrones then frankly I’m not surprised you came up with apologia. The torture in that series is incredibly badly handled. And a big part of the point of running this blog is that most people are getting their information on torture from shows like that. Which happens because the research is inaccessible and hasn’t been popularised the way fictional tropes (sometimes fictional tropes literally started by torturers) have been popularised.

 The important thing is what you choose to do now.

 I’m going to break down the problems here and make some suggestions for what you could do instead.

 Firstly: there is no torture or abuse that will guarantee obedience. Pain does not make people meek or compliant or willing to follow commands.

 Torture survivors are not broken.

 They are not ‘controlled’ by their torturers and the suggestion that they are is used in the real world to bar real survivors from treatment. It is also used to bar them from entering safe countries and to argue that they shouldn’t be allowed visas or passports.

 The best statistics we have for any sort of compliance under torture come from analysis of historical French data where torture was used to try and force confessions (something we know torture can sometimes do).

 The ‘success’ rate averaged at 10%. Under torture 90% of people will not comply long enough to sign their name.

 Secondly: torture does not and can not ‘make’ a victim feel ‘worshipful’ towards their torturer. The suggestion is kind of like asking if someone can tap dance immediately after removing the bones from their legs.

 Torturers have no control over a victim’s emotions. They have no control over their symptoms. They have no control over their beliefs.

 And there is no such thing as a torture that can change someone’s mind in a way torturers can control.

 Once again, this fictional trope is used by politicians and the media to justify marginalising real torture survivors.

 I have read hundreds, possibly thousands, of accounts from torture survivors. I’ve read historic and modern accounts. I’ve read accounts from all sort of people from all over the globe. I have never seen a survivor say anything positive about their torturers. I have never seen anything close to toleration.

 A lot of survivors are blisteringly angry at their torturers. A lot of them feel overwhelming levels of spite and some report literally putting themselves at risk of death in order to spite their torturers. And yes, a lot of them are afraid too. None of these emotions are mutually exclusive.

 Affection is impossible. We are not wired that way.

 Thirdly: I understand that ‘evil races’ are a long standing fantasy trope but it would be remiss of me if I didn’t mention the racism inherent in that idea. That some people are ‘born bad’.

 I’d strongly suggest you look up the Black, Indian and First Nations people that I know are on this site critiquing these kinds of fantasy tropes. Because they will be able to explain it better then I can.

 Fourthly: the term ‘psychological torture’ is a pretty common dog whistle for torture apologia.

 Most of the time tortures that people dub ‘psychological’ are things with real, physical effects that lead to lasting injury and death. They just don’t tend to leave obvious external scars. I use Rejali’s term ‘clean torture’ for these techniques. Researchers distinguish them from scarring tortures because they are harder to detect and prove in court.

 The majority of survivors today will have experienced clean torture. They will have no obvious physical scars. But they will still be disabled. They’re ‘just’ less likely to see any form of justice for it.

 Fifthly: torture is a terrible training method because it decreases a person’s ability to learn.

 Torture causes memory problems. It also often causes lasting physical injuries that make performing basic tasks more difficult. And it causes a lot of serious psychological problems which make performing basic tasks more difficult.

 A trained person who was never tortured will always out perform someone whose training involved torture.

 I probably sound quite angry here.

 I write fantasy and I also write about torture a lot. But I can’t imagine that it’s just flavour for a fantasy world or some artefact of the past. Torture is a real, present threat in the country that I grew up in. If I was to return now I could, literally, be tortured and executed.

 If you want to include torture in your world, in your story then you are committing to telling someone else’s story. You are representing an incredibly marginalised group of people and you are presenting that representation to a third group, one that has never had contact with real torture survivors.

 Are you comfortable with the idea of telling your peers that survivors are still controlled by ‘the enemy’? That they’re passive? That they don’t have the capacity to make their own decisions?

 Are you comfortable knowing that the popularity of this message keeps millions of genocide survivors in refugee camps, blocked from citizenship, aid and safety?

 I understand feeling attached to a story and a character. And I understand that this information is hard to find. Hell I’m probably going to end up with the only English copy of one of the pivotal textbooks because I’m shelling out to get it translated.

 You say you want to write a torture survivor. With respect I don’t think you know what a torture survivor looks like.

 I think the most helpful, and kindest, thing I can do here is describe what torture does to people. Because I can’t tell you whether that’s something you want to write. I could try and rebuild this scenario for you (and if you decide you’re interested in that after reading all of this and all the links then I suggest looking through the blog tags for ICURE, torture as training, Black Widow and Overwatch.) But I think you need to decide whether you actually want to write a torture survivor first.

 Here’s a post on the most common torture apologia tropes.

 Here’s the post on the types of memory problems torture commonly causes. I strongly recommend picking at least one.

 Remember that this would never go away. Improvement and recovery in torture survivors means learning to live with symptoms. The symptoms themselves are permanent.

 It’s a hundred different alarms set up on their phone to try and make up for the forgetfulness that makes them miss appointments. It’s the little bottle of perfume in their pocket to bring themselves back to reality when they get intrusive memories at work.

 Here’s a post on the other common symptoms.

 You want something in the range of 3-5 of those, though more are likely if your character is held for years. Each of them should be severe. Every single symptom should have a large, negative, impact on the character’s daily life.

 Do you know anyone with chronic pain? It warps their world. Work can become impossible. Basic household tasks like getting dressed, cooking, cleaning the dishes are done through gritted teeth or not at all. Hobbies and ‘fun’ activities dwindle as they struggle to find a way to do them that doesn’t hurt. Interaction with other people, even loved ones, can easily become barbed.

 Because the pain makes everything more difficult. It means everything takes more energy, more effort. Which means that things fall by the wayside, whether that’s by a pile of mouldering dishes in the sink or snapping at a child. It means tears and the social judgement that follows them. It means the world narrowing as it gets harder to go out.

 Do you see what I mean? Every part of life.

 That’s an example for one symptom. You need to work out at least four. Then figure out how they interact. Then figure out what the character can do to make her life better.

 With chronic pain that can mean painkillers but it’s always more then that. It’s re-learning how to do things; how to put on trousers without aggravating the bad knee, how to sew with one hand. It means learning to cut down on what they do and it means learning a new sort of flexibility; accepting that there are days when the pain is too much.

 It can mean having the same conversation about disability over and over again. With family, with friends, with colleagues. ‘I can’t do that.’ ‘I can do that sometimes but not always.’ ‘That will hurt me.’ ‘I can’t use that chair.’ ‘I can’t get my arms that high above my shoulders.’ ‘I need help with this.’

 And that sometimes means learning a kind of patience that is really barely held back rage. Or perhaps I’m projecting a little with this last one.

 If you’ve never met a torture survivor, if you’ve never looked at a survivor’s work, then all this is difficult. You’re trying to imagine something from first principals with nothing to fall back on.

 So let’s bring some survivors into the discussion here. Some reality.

 Who’s listened to Fela? How about Bobi Wine?

 Fela Kuti was the father of modern Afro beats music. He was tortured multiple times and during one attack, which destroyed his home, his mother was murdered by the military. When he got out of jail Fela marched her funeral procession past the biggest barracks in Nigeria’s biggest city. He wrote two songs about this attack and he doubled down on his opposition to the military government.

 Fela’s music started causing riots.

 You can read what I have to say about him here. You can listen to his music on youtube.

 Here’s an interview with Bobi Wine, which was conducted shortly after he was tortured in Uganda. He talked about how he was determined to go back and continue fighting. Which he did. He even ran against the president.

 I’ve also got a short piece on Searle who was a cartoonist captured by the Japanese during World War 2. His drawings of what happened in To the Kwai and Back are worth seeing. Especially if you want to write atrocities on this scale. They will show you the scale and how to focus on the small, human elements despite that overwhelming scale.

 Alleg’s The Question is pretty much a must, it’s one of the most thorough accounts from the Franco-Algerian war.

 Monroe’s A Darkling Plain is also a must, it’s a series of interviews with survivors of various different conflicts and atrocities. Some are torture survivors. Some are not. It is essential reading because it shows the variety in survivors as well as giving a sense of their lives beyond the symptoms.

 Finally Amnesty International has literally hundreds of interviews and studies available for free online.

 The most important decision for any story with regards to torture is whether it should be there at all.

 So much of this topic is intimidating and so much of it is difficult to write. Not just in the ‘oh this is horribly effecting’ sense but in the ‘I have twelve things to juggle in this simple scene’ sense.

 Ask yourself what torture adds to this character and this story. What does this backstory actually give this character?

 Because if the point is to have her vulnerable and then ultimately triumphing violently over her attackers I don’t think you want a torture scenario. You could get the same thing from a bad guy trying to drug her and having the kidnapping fail when she fights him off, clumsy but effective nonetheless.

 And she could still come out of something like that traumatised.

 Right now I really don’t see this adding anything but torture apologia to your story.

 Handling torture well in a story means accepting that it can’t be the same story without it. It means watching the characters and narrative warp under the weight of it. It means lasting effects, for all the characters and for the world itself.

 I believe you are capable of writing that if you want to, pet. But this ain’t it.

Edit: I’m having trouble seeing the beginning of the answer here. Can anyone let me know if there are formatting issues again please? The first word in the htmal is ‘Alright’ but what I’m seeing on tumblr starts 8 paragraphs in.

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Disclaimer

[weirdlandtv]

Like the 1960s generation had The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and Bob Dylan, the Big Three of the 1980s were Prince, Michael Jackson, and Madonna. Their new albums weren’t just song collections, they were messages uttered by the Oracle up on the mountain, echoing across the valley. They were events, statements, re-incarnations. Each new album presented a new persona for fans to imitate and for critics to evaluate, or, in the case of Prince, decipher. (Artists, back then, had to change with each new release or else be considered irrelevant. David Bowie entered the 1980s a smart yuppie, George Michael in the span of 7 years went from sparkling teen idol to sensitive, searching biker cowboy.)

Michael Jackson and Prince were regarded as rival gods, with the former more commercially successful but the latter preferred by most serious music critics (though in reality, fans, like me, liked both). Michael Jackson played games with tabloid journalists, who in turn responded with growing hostility; Prince played pranks on music critics, who wilfully allowed themselves to be deceived and wowed by this inscrutable prodigy.

Michael Jackson’s Avalon was Neverland, a fantasy dream that always invited ridicule (though not from me); Prince’s Mount Olympus was Paisley Park, a place deemed so mythical that fans constructed their own maps from the few photos and bits of footage that existed of it, and then endlessly speculated on what life was like inside of it: the parties, the concerts, sacred rituals, whisperings, the spontaneous nightly sessions. “Did you know,” they’d say, wide-eyed, “Prince has this huge vault of original masters and unreleased music right under Paisley Park? Only he knows the key code.” Whole albums (all masterpieces of course) had disappeared into that vault, never to be heard by ordinary mortals. And he never slept: nobody had ever caught him sleeping. He just went on and on, creating music. That was Prince, the enigmatic wonder, the living love symbol, and flamboyant question mark.

I still find it strange to realize so many of the artists I just mentioned, who so energetically populated my childhood and early teens, are dead. Michael Jackson, Prince, David Bowie, and George Michael all died within 7 years of each other; but there’s also Whitney Houston, Freddie Mercury, Kurt Cobain, and so many more. (Compare 1960s giants Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan, who are still touring and releasing records.)

When Prince died, a little more than three years ago today, I was on Texel, an island to the north of Holland, where I live. I checked my phone, checked the news, like you so stupidly do every now and then, and then saw the incredible headline. A sunny day, clouds seemed to appear that moment. Some people love celebrity deaths and follow juicy rumor sites about who punched who and who stepped out of the limo without their knickers on; me, I get depressed. It’s like having swallowed a stone. The sensationalist cries around every celeb death to me are like a beehive of bad vibes, a pest, and I have to stay away from it as far as possible if I want to protect my mental health, or what’s left of it. Prince’s death made me take things slow for a week or so. I have to mentally chew on such things, change my settings, ease into the new reality, let my heart adjust to its new weight. I’ve often had to deal with death in my life, sometimes it’s as if every high-profile death shocks me back into that familiar feeling of dread and despair.

Though Michael Jackson’s Neverland has turned into a derelict theme park that carries the curse of being unsellable, Prince’s Paisley Park has become a museum. Occasionally, browsing the internet, I see photos of it, and I’m always struck, kind of uneasily, about how soulless it seems. What does the lair of an extravagant hermit look like? What did I expect? Not something that looks like the atrium of a New Age company maybe. Looking at the interior, those sad police photos that were released last year, I can’t help but see the stupendous mundanity of it all. The building itself, somewhere in a suburb outside of Minneapolis, resembles a bunker, and though the pyramid skylights, that vaguely resemble guard towers, provide some natural light, the rest of the building is artificially lit, but dark. The recording studio is just that. Some of the walls have sayings like “Everything You Think Is True”. Stained glass with stars, clouds, and guitars. There’s a potted plant here, and an ugly tangle of phone cords in the corner there. Prince’s bedroom was sparse with empty green walls, and a plastic trash can you can buy at your local Walmart (but he never slept of course). The legendary vault reminds me of the storage room of my dad’s old electronics company, with its disorderly shelves and half-opened cardboard boxes. And everywhere, in every corridor and every space, there’s Prince iconography, but it’s rather bland, like the cover of a cheap unofficial biography.

For Prince, it must have been strange living in your own mausoleum.

The music that came from that place though. I believe PARADE (1986) was the first full album he recorded there, and then everything that came afterwards. My uncle was a real Prince fanatic, taking a slew of albums with him whenever he stayed with us, bootlegs too, so from an early age I became quite well-versed in all things Prince. Bits of his lyrics are as familiar to me as old family sayings. Personal favorites are the albums 1999 (1982), BATMAN (1989), and the LOVE SYMBOL ALBUM (1992). I like the street-smart humor of his early stuff, the raw passion, the in-your-face sex metaphors, with symbols as loud as cymbals, just the wild mercury sound of it; later on, his work became more spiritual, and harder for me to follow. His whole being though was music, every movement was a melody, every step a beat; he created music the way other people breathe. He had more songs in him than a duck has quacks. If you listen to the posthumous release, PIANO AND A MICROPHONE 1983, it’s as if the piano, microphone and artist aren’t three separate things, but one organism, bleeding and generating music; it features some wonderful, loose playing. It seems to me that towards the end of his life, in physical pain and unable to play a piano or guitar unless stuffed with elephant tranquilizers, he started to drift, and drift further, until he fell over the edge.

Like Bob Dylan, whose mystique and inaccessibility he shared, Prince had a habit of frustrating his fans, by deliberately excluding a great song from an otherwise so-so album and storing it in his vault, or by making his music hard to buy or even find (online, before he died, there was almost nothing). That’s one reason I kind of stopped following him; the other is the depressing decline of his songwriting since the 1990s. Looking at his later albums, which I first dutifully bought until I didn’t anymore, there’s hardly anything I really like. None of the best-of compilations collect anything from after the 90s. What happened? Age is part of it of course. A decline in quality is inevitable, most musical artists do their best work in their 20s and 30s. It’s also possible Prince’s brand of singing about his women like they are divine vaginas simply went out of style. Once cheeky and outrageous (his work was why Parental Advisory stickers were invented), his songs no longer shock us 21st centurians. We’ve seen so much already. Dirty sex wasn’t the only topic he sang about of course (far from it), but it’s the one he pushed forward the most as part of his image; his “royal badness” was part of his appeal. (The BATMAN soundtrack originally was going to feature Michael Jackson as Batman, the force of good, and Prince as the Joker, representing decadence, sin, evil.)

But his supposed “badness” was an act of course. The cocky poses, flashy gestures and mean diva looks were an obvious shield against the outside world, a theatrical defense mechanism. An attempt to dazzle people before they can get to you. When you’re shy—and he of course was the shyest—you feel like everyone is constantly watching you, and you become overly aware of how you look, how you walk, how you come across; you are constantly aware of your physical being taking up space. So what do you do when you’re an artist? You perform. Everything you do becomes a kind of performance, a conscious act. It gives you a feeling of control: you know why people are watching, because you’re making them watch you. But the essence of it is always shyness and nerves.

There’s something endearing about that 1983 footage of him being invited on stage for an impromptu jam by James Brown, who a few minutes earlier had invited Michael Jackson up. Ready to upstage his rival, who had just performed some killer moves, Prince takes the stage, struts, plays some random riffs, struts some more, suddenly takes off his jacket and does some tricks with the microphone stand, claps to whip up the audience—and then as he wants to make a fast and sudden exit, he clumsily goes down knocking over a prop, stage hands hastily arriving from all sides to help him up.

He died in an elevator near the lobby, but the spot itself has been covered up by a new wall (it’s near the watchful eyes in the third image). I keep wondering what happened. Was he making his way down to the ground floor from his production offices, or was he going up from the recording studio to his bedroom to maybe sleep? One associate, questioned by police, stated that Prince had told her he “was depressed, enjoyed sleeping more than usual and was incredibly bored”, and that at his last concert, he felt like he was going to fall asleep on stage. Those were rare remarks. An intensely private person, he mostly hid his problems, not just from others, but even from himself. The end, then, was inevitable. As with Michael Jackson six years before, the drugs relieved him of his pain, and then of his life.

He never slept, and when he did, it was 4ever.

[dungeons-and-divination]

Battle Smith ARTIFICER - Forest GNOME - Inheritor

I think I failed to mention till now that I pick class, race and background with a random generator. I usually read a little bit about them all just so they’re fresh in my mind and I can properly focus on them while I’m getting my deck ready. Then I pick one card at a time and I take very slim notes with impulsive feedback that I get from the energy of the deck. Once I have all six, I sit down to do a complete analysis and, if the need arise, draw more tarots to clear things out a bit. For the backstory, I have good old Xanathar to help with the randomness of a dice roll on things I can’t actually gather from the read, but mostly after one or two rolls, things build naturally on their own and I have enough elements for it. And after that very long intro nobdy asked for, I’ll leave you to this cutey pie.

Name: Hadwin Ahlers (35yo)

TAROTS

Mind: Strength (reversed) Such a good card for the mind of a character that I already knew was gonna end up having a high intelligence. It really is a dead give away of Hadwin big brain; he already has the knowledge to conquer whatever he puts his mind into, he’s just crippled by the lack of confidence in his own abilities. In a sense, his mind is both is best assent and is worst enemy. Because every time he feels inadequate or reconsider his decisions, he’s just ignoring that part of his brain that’s telling him that he know the solution to the problem and that he’s not being cocky, he’s just that smart!

Body: The Chariot (upright) Despite his doubts, Hadwin is still the kind of ambitious person that never shies away from hard work. He’s very much convinced that the key to achieve perfection is to try again and again till you succeed. Even when he feels like a failure, you can bet everything you own that he will not give up on what he’s trying to achive till he actually does that thing. That the Chariot was in “body” had to immediately give this strong feeling of him travelling somewhere and somehow, so I stayed on the lookout for signs that hinted at that in other aspects of the read as well.

Spirit: Page of pentacles (reversed) While this tarot might seem as contrasting with the Chariot, it’s actually very telling that it’s what I drew for “spirit”.To me it just proves that Hadwin is willing to put a lot of work into whatever he’s doing, but on a deeper level he’s actually lost. Sure, his mind is always busy on little project, like he’s a busy bee. But he never really stopped to figure out what he wants to achieve with all of that hard work. It also brings me back to that sense of inadequacy, that makes him sometimes question himself to the point of making rush or foolish decisions. At the core of it all, I see him as someone that believes his worth is just in how smart others perceive him as, and that’s why Hadwin works so hard despite having no clue what he himself actually is supposed to do with that gifted mind. He just knows that people always had expectation because of it and he somehow have to be worth it of their praises.

Past: Six of wands (upright) Well, I was just done talking about expectations, and praises, so of course, here it is, a past filled with them in his childhood and teenage years. I can absolutely picture him being one of those brilliant kids with lots of potential that all the adults around him encouraged to try and cultivate. And nobody really knows the weight those words have on Hadwin, while he slowly is weighted more and more down by them. Really, with such an important card of success, it’s really not a surprise that Hadwin really struggles with his self-esteem. For sure, that “spirit” card now seems VERY appropriate.

Present: Six of swords (upright) I’m happy to see that I had the right feeling with the Chariot about travelling somewhere, cause, here it again! This one is actually more of an escape card actually, but I think that travelling is the very best way to run from whatever is the problem that’s afflicting you. So, it’s pretty much obvious to me that Hadwin is trying to leave his troubling times behind. This tarot also has this undertone of healing and moving forward, it speaks of an inner growth, which is perfectly in tune with that. He probably wanted to leave his past behind, forget the expectation and start to use his abilities more for himself than for anyone else. This usually requires some spiritual guidance of some kind, but in this case I’m almost tempted to think that it’s losing his usual guide that brings calm and a new perceptive to him. Maybe it’s that hint of healing? It might be that at this point I was influenced by my preconception on this, cause I already felt by now that he was gonna lose his mentor... 

Future: Ten of pentacles (reversed) Well, this is very much on the nose. Of course there was gonna be a tarot related to the inheritance. Still, I feel a dispute of some kind because of it, I feel it with the lost family of the mentor, but it’s not a given since this is really up to what a DM might work up with this backstory. Not much else I could add to that, really then. What I could give is my usual suggestion on how to play the character on the future card, even if I think the “spirit” explanation was enough so… I do suggest though to think of little special moments related to the inheritance and the mentor that gave it to Hadwin, and every now and then to sprinkle them in the interaction with other people. Just to really make it something special, so that if it really ends up being used as a hook, it hits hard as a moment in game when the “conflict” comes up.

FULL BACKSTORY

Hadwin is the older son of a couple of drifters that used to live of trade and seasonal work. Despite the very dreary life-style of the very early years of Hadwin’s life, his father, Nester, decided that the family needed to become more stable and they moved into a large city after the third pregnancy of his mother, Quandha. It was obviously a good choice, because the life on the move was way too dangerous for both Hadwin, his two brothers, Xodash and Thamil, and his two sisters, Dapha and Ampash. His mother was mostly busy with being a housewife, but in her free time she kept weaving fabric to sell to the local market like she used to do when they traveled; his father mostly worked at the docks, where his silver tongue sometimes put Nester into trouble and other times was useful for getting work of dubious morals. Even in his early childhood years, Hadwin was always very bright;for one, he liked to build stuff with scraps he found around, but Quandha noticed his fascination with people that had magical abilities too. For this reason Nester decided to pay for the most expensive tuition he could afford for his son at the time (much to his brothers and sisters jealousy), in the hopes that he would get noticed by someone that could maybe one day take him as their apprentice. Despite it all, at the end of the day it was Nester’s silver tongue that allowed Hadwin to become the apprentice of Master Zyphon Volso. Zyphon (a human on the older side), had been travelling mostly alone for years, but as old as he was getting, he was in need of somewhat of a page to take care of the menial things during his travels. In exchange for Hadwin's services, Zyphon promised Nester that he would teach his son what he knew. Hadwin left his family and started following Master Volso in his travels. He mostly took care of menial things, but since he was the son of drifters, he had kind of a knack for tracking and hunting food for them both when they were in the middle of nowhere. There were times when Master Volso would also leave him alone, dismissing Hadwin with rushed excuses; most of those times he would be gone for two or three days, before coming back and pretending like nothing happened. One of those times, after a sudden grumble of “there’s something of the utmost importance I need to deal with”, he left and never came back. The only thing left behind of Master Volso was his precious book with all of the notes of his research, something Hadwin knew Master Volso had never left behind before. Curiosity got the best of him and Hadwin checked the book that had always been inaccessible to him: inside of it there was a note to him. “Hadwin, if I don’t come back in four days, I’m dead. I leave you this as my legacy. I know you can figure out a solution. Make me proud. Zyphon.”. The only problem is that Hadwin really has no fucking clue of what 90% of what is written and drawn inside the book is supposed to mean. But his Master wants him to “make him proud” and that’s exactly what he wants to do!

SUGGESTION CORNER

Suggested features Ability scores: High Dexterity and Intelligence, Low Strength or Wisdom. Skill proficiencies: Arcana, History, Investigation. Musical instrument proficiencies: any kind of percussion to your choice or some kind of flute. Artisan’s tool proficiencies: cook’s utensils. Others: as mentioned before, I suggest the Inheritance from his background to be a “book of projects” his teacher was working on. He doesn’t understand much of it at first, but with time things can change.

Suggested Characteristics Trait: I always want to know how things work and what makes people tick. Ideal: I think often no plan survives contact with reality. Easier to dive in and deal with the consequences. Bond: I owe my teacher everything for forging me into the person I am today. Flaw: I am easily distracted by the promise of a good time.

[hollenka99]

The One Where Jackie Takes Each Day As It Comes

Summary: Chapter 1. Jackie may not have a home but he’s meeting some friendly faces.

@bupine @badlypostedeverything

Spotting all the daily newspapers declare it was February 13th 2019 that first morning had been rough. Part of Jackie had wanted to believe it was a really elaborate prank. But the lads wouldn't be able to do something like that. Especially given the state they'd gotten themselves in at Stuart's party. Maybe it hadn't been a bad thing that Jackie decided to go easy on the alcohol. At least he didn't enter the next century completely hammered. Seeing couples out on Valentine's Day causes him to reflect. He spent that day missing Chris, which he had been in two minds about. And Nate. God knows how he'd be able to return home to 1986, if he could at all. Perhaps getting thrown three decades into the future was the thing he needed to sort that mess out internally. The risk of the band going their separate ways because two members broke up sounded more attractive now. Sure beat them disbanding because the drummer disappeared indefinitely or was presumed dead. Yeah, he would split from Chris to be with Nate if he had the chance now. It was the old question niggling in his mind: didn't he deserve to be with the one who made him happier than the other? Not like all that relationship drama mattered much when he had no worldly possessions except for his clothes now. Fuck the shit with those two anyway. He'd rather have Caoimhe in his arms any day. Whatever happens to her with him gone, Jackie hopes she is kept safe and loved. Okay, so maybe he was going to get teary about some things. There was no point exhausting himself with tears regarding all this. How would giving himself a massive headache help matters? It got worse the more he accepted his drastic life change. Dwelling on it all hurt. Bridget, Annette and Spencer must all be adults by now. His friends were in their 50s, like he should be himself. They all must be unrecognisable to him now. Like he said, dwelling on the currently inaccessible past was redundant. Instead, he did his best to find somewhere dry to sleep at night. Days were spent on the lookout for food. At least there was a water fountain near the bus station. It's fine. It's not like this is his first time taking each day as it came. He'll manage, one way or another. It's while Jackie is preoccupied with drinking someone's discarded hot chocolate that a man approaches him. The stranger's curls remind him of how his own hair used to be, prior to its current style. Freckles litter his face too. The smile seems genuine but he's been in this situation before. Jackie decides to cautiously give this stranger the benefit of the doubt. "You know how to play guitar?" American? Canadian? He doesn't know enough about those accents to distinguish them. "...Yes." "Here." The guy holds out his guitar case. "I don't need the change anymore. Got a decent job now and all that." "Thank you but I can't." "You look like you could do with a source of income. Stealing isn't exactly a reliable method of feeding yourself. Which reminds me..." An oat bar is retrieved. Through part of the plastic wrapping, it is visibly crumbling. "I'll admit, not in the best condition. Sorry about that. Still, please take it." Well, don't look a gift horse in the mouth and all that. "Thanks." "No problem. I'm Joel, by the way." He winks, heading a few feet away. "Jackie." The ground crumbles in front of where Joel stood. Straight up vanishes as if it hadn't existed in the first place. It wasn't like Jackie had never met someone with powers before but... it was certainly impressive to see this sort of stuff first hand. The outstretched leg, meant to be taking a step into oblivion, is retracted. There is a pause. Joel turns to face him once more. Still there is continued hesitation. "Listen, I shouldn't be saying this but... things are going to change soon. Just be careful. Anti's about and he likes targeting people who can uh, easily disappear." "Anti?" "There's a killer on the loose and I'd hate to see your face on the news for all the wrong reasons." And like that, Joel hops backwards into the hole. Jackie takes his advice and plays during the day. Playing acoustic guitar simply makes him miss rehearsals with the lads. Guitar wasn't even his instrument. That had been drums. Even so, their type of guitar had been electric. Not much comes from busking. He's rusty, he knows. He continues playing songs he recalls off by heart in the hope of earning a pound here and there. He supposes the public secretly question why he sang nothing but hits from 30 years ago. Days blur. The last time he'd bothered to check the date it had been the 21st. He didn't keep track of how many days ago that was. The wind has been blustery all day. It was for this very reason that Jackie had spent the majority of it as sheltered as he could. He notices a man passing by his spot who seems unaffected by the bad weather. He walks by as if they hadn't been suffering strong winds recently. That's not the only odd thing about the stranger. His choice of fashion is very interesting. His entire outfit is purple apart from the covered half of his face and his gloves. The white mask resembling a cat's face reached the top of his cheeks. To complete the look, the mask extends into triangular ears. Jackie feels the guy hitting his head must hurt even more with those attached. Jackie's presence must have been caught in his peripheral vision. Cat Guy halts and turns to him. Surprise transforms into a warm smile on his face. "Hey, I don't think I've seen you around here before. I'm guessing you haven't been living like this for long?" "About a week or two. Haven't been counting." "Tell me you at least have something to cover yourself with at night." "I try to find somewhere relatively warm. Ish." "Dude, it's February." "Yeah, tell me about it." Cat Guy removes his backpack. From it, he retrieves a water bottle and a blanket. "Good thing I tend to carry some stuff around. Ham or cheese?" "What?" "Sandwich." The stranger presents him with the gifts. Once Jackie takes the blanket and water, the superhero holds out an object encased in tin foil. "I tend to make ham and cheese ones. You're not vegan or a lactose intolerant vegetarian, are you?" "No. I'll uh... take the ham, thanks." "Oh, by the way, what's your name?" He could say John. Or Bartholomew. He doesn't have to say Jackie. Shit, he could say his name was Sean if he wanted, seeing as that was another form of his name. He didn't have to even provide a name that was half true. But eh, fuck it. It's not like this guy will find a Jackie Mann born in Ireland during the late 90s. "Jackie. And what should I call you, Mr Super Cat?" "Super Cat, wow." He laughs. "That's a new one. Well, I'm known as the Magnificent Cat around here. A bunch of people shorten it to Cat." Cat? Yeah, that sounds cool. The superhero carries on with his day a minute or two afterwards. He sees him tossing a sandwich and making brief conversation with the black woman situated on the corner of the street. Mondays and Thursdays rapidly become Jackie's favourite days of the week. Cat always swung by at some point in the day, making sure those living outside had certain necessities like food or some money. He had a habit of apologizing for not being able to give more than £5, as if that was a tiny amount to provide to each homeless person he catered to around the city. They typically talk but it never lasted long before Cat had to carry on with his rounds. Once, the superhero had to excuse himself due to a burglary being reported. Jackie also liked seeing this other guy who kept popping up over the days. They'd first met when Jackie had been performing Billie Jean. Marvin was a really nice, frequently sparing 2 or 3 pounds whenever he passed by Jackie. There were also their conversations. The topic didn't matter. They also varied in length but by far fulfilled his social quota better than Cat's busy schedule could. It was pleasant to have someone to talk to. Either way, he had two people in his corner which was two more than he'd expected. The first week of April is laden with rain. Waking up to a damp blanket sucked but it was hardly like he had anything else to cover himself with. At least it was gradually warming up now. The last thing Jackie wanted was hypothermia, let alone getting sick in general. He must be getting his days mixed up because he thought Cat's last visit was on a Thursday. Yet here he was, walking around as he tended to do. Jackie didn't hear him chatting with anyone else like he'd expected him to. It didn't matter. It was getting fairly late anyway. It wasn't as if Cat was prohibited from strolling around in his costume. Plus, he was under no obligation to be as social as he typically was. Saying hi to him as he passed wouldn't hurt though. "Cat! It's good to have a dry spell in the middle of all this bad weather, huh?" Jackie chuckles. "How are things going?" The superhero halts abruptly at this. It's almost like he didn't expect Jackie to be there. That was a little odd because this was his usual spot. However, he decided to brush it off as Cat having a long day. His theory is further solidified when he doesn't seem as in the mood to talk today. "Hey. Things are good." Cat smiles thoughtfully. "Actually, I've been meaning to show you this new community centre that opened recently. They're letting people sleep there if they want. It's technically within walking distance from here but it's much easier to get there by car. Want me to take you there?" He obliges Cat's generosity. They chat about how foot traffic had significantly dropped in the past few days due to the downpour. Cat points out his black car. He motions to Jackie that he'd be sitting at the back because unfortunately, there was a bunch of clutter in the front. The door is red when he grabs the handle. A couple blinks confirm it is still red. The darkness of the evening must have been confusing his ability to see colours properly. It also may be linked to this headache that's appeared out of nowhere. He really hopes this isn't a sign the rain has negatively affected his health. He'd rather focus on how lovely the interior of Cat's car was. The doors lock internally. He moves his head to direct a remark about it to Cat. Except it's not the superhero at all. There was no costume, only a dark hoodie. The first feature that causes him to stare when Cat faces him were those eyes. Was there even anything other than black in them? The hair too. He's never seen Cat without his mask on but he didn't think it would be dark green. Had Cat looked so pale all those other times? He's not certain. He definitely knows that grin belongs in Hell. "Funny how easily people will follow you if they think you're a friend. Isn't it?"

[vampiresuns]

Would Valerius ever realize Anatole is his nephew in the upright timelines?

More than upright/reverse divide, the divide is apprentice/non apprentice timelines. Valerius knows he is his nephew at all times, except during the prologue — here, he thinks this is a magic trick, an illusion, not his actual nephew, and in Anatole’s canon (and therefore my own version of it) he throws him wine in absolute disdain.

Only to later realise that how he acts, how he moves, how he is, that the man in front of him is his nephew.

Getting on board the angst train, Anatole and Valerius are different sides of the same coin. Following my hcs about them, and again, my own version of canon, Valerius is the younger brother of Anatole’s father, who inherited the position of Consul through his own uncle’s husband, Florentino, a Vesuvian, brother of the former Consul. This is because Dragoslav’s and Valerius’ parents died when they were children, and were raised by their uncles Kuzma and Florentino, a married couple.

(Besides Drago and Valerius, there’s also Lucija and Kuzma Jr., both of them older than the former)

They lived in Vesuvia for about 10 years before moving back to Anatole’s home country (Balkovia, or the fantasy equivalent of former Yugoslavia), and having in consideration Anatole’s biological grandmother was Vesuvian, and none other of the siblings were at all interested, Valerius was the obvious choice.

(A side note, this makes Anatole Vesuvian, Slavic, and Latinx, as his mother is fantasy latinamerican)

Anatole was privately tutored from ages 15 to 18, and later studied politics and diplomacy in Parkra from ages 18 to 21, and continued his studies at the same time he began working with Valerius and the Council of Vesuvia from that age on. That means he had been working for three years with him when he died in the apprentice timelines. Now, keeping this exclusively about Val and Nana, Nana didn’t choose to follow Valerius into politics, not quite. This was his own choice, that was encouraged by Valerius, and chooses it less because he wants to be like him, and more because he wants to do something that matters and help people. Above all, Anatole, like Valerius wants to be great, just differently.

Valerius and Anatole were always close. Valerius was his favourite uncle, his favourite relative, and the first person he told he was a boy when he was 14 (before that Anatole plain refused to be called boy, or girl, and his deadname was almost never used on him. His family calls him Lily and Lilu), he used to follow him around before he moved to Vesuvia permanently, and when he did, he always visited in the summers. Valerius taught him to play chess and helped him fence, Anatole surpassing him in the former, but not in the latter. Yes, I headcanon Valerius knows his way with a rapier.

Valerius even helped him choose his name.

And moreover, and here’s the wonder trick, Valerius, like Anatole, also suffers their family. Based on Valerius fear of not being up to the rows of ‘notable’ and aristocratic, powerful people before him shown in Nadia’s route, he also knows what is like to have the very noisy, opinionated, often classist and judgmental Radošević’s breathing on your neck. The difference, is he does not suffer his social circles, while Anatole tries to steer away from high society and mingles with them only upon necessity, having very few true friends from it (namely, almost uniquely Nadia and Natiqa)

Anatole had a strained relationship with his parents and his family: he felt as if his autonomy and his voice were often smothered. Valerius taught him to survive this efficiently, while no one else could, did or cared to.

(Another side note: it isn’t that his parents don’t love him or care for him. They do. But Aureliana doesn’t understand him, and doesn’t love him like he needs, often being overbearing and commanding, she tends to tell him what to do, and try convince him her opinion is the truth, which stresses Anatole; Dragoslav simply doesn’t understand his son 90% of the time, and that creates a breach between them)

Because here is the thing. Despite Valerius being aware Anatole doesn’t think like him, Anatole is Valerius’ weakness, or rather, his soft spot. He always thought he was the brightest thing to ever happen to the Vultures (their family, as he calls them), and they didn’t even have the sight to appreciate him. He is his little sun, the best of them, the brightest of them. Valerius actually listens to Anatole’s opinion, and asked for his advice. Where is the tragedy? When Valerius turns back from him, from what seems to be his sole redeeming trait at times, life goes south for him. The tragedy is Valerius ended up doing what the rest of Anatole’s family has always does with him: ignored him and decide for him.

That’s what happened during the plague in the apprentice timeline, and it makes their relationship go to hell. This also happens in non-apprentice timelines, where their estrangement lasts until little after the events of the game, depending in which LI route you’re following.

But this is about apprentice!Anatole. When Anatole is sick, Valerius tries to care for him, willing to spare nothing, Anatole thinks this is unfair, he will not become another Lucio, hoarding resources from the citizens, and he will not get his uncle ill. He writes him a letter like he does to Julian, and he leaves for the Lazaret.

The rest in history.

(When Anatole dies, where he first wakes up is not the Fool’s realm, it’s the Hierophant’s.

“My fool, rebel child, what is it that you’ve done?”)

When Anatole died, the sun went out from Valerius life, and with that, the last tendrils of hope he had of actually being able to do his job — not only because of dealing with grief given Valerius is not great with his feelings, but also considering Valerius, while educated, does not connect with the people of Vesuvia like Anatole did. Beyond his own capacities and competence (which are there), Anatole was his link to the city, and usually humanised him and the Council to common citizen’s eyes. It is my running joke the only competent people in Vesuvia’s government was, for the longest time, a twenty something years old.

Secondly, Valerius did not tell their family Anatole died. His first great failure was being unable to protect his nephew. Thirdly, can you imagine the grief? The guilt? The absolute disdain at seeing Lucio, the carrier of the plague bargain and not die, while Anatole, his virtuous, intelligent nephew died? And he died for what? For a bunch of citizens who won’t remember him, for a two penny combat doctor who didn’t pay enough attention to realise he died.

When Lucio ‘dies’ himself, he couldn’t care less. He shouldn’t live, if Anatole cannot.

It is said in Nadia’s route Valerius was always a challenge, but never cruel.

Asra would’ve had to keep Anatole being brought back a secret from Valerius. If mentions of being dead and trying to rekindling his memories before he is ready sends him to a catatonic state, he has no idea what it could do if Valerius barrelled in. Not that I think that Asra’s opinion of Valerius is mightily high anyway, or that his recovery is the only thing at stake: there is the possibility of Valerius not believing that is his nephew, which is exactly what happened in the end.

My hc is that memories are not completely inaccessible, and like it’s shown in various parts of the game, the apprentice seem capable of recollecting places and faces, just not know how or why, or from where they know it. Valerius, for Anatole as an apprentice, has that quality. He knows immediately Valerius is important, but he doesn’t know why. He eventually either talks to him after the events of the game and asks, or puts the pieces together — he’s smart enough for that.

They do eventually rekindle their relationship, slowly, and Anatole also faces his family again with Valerius’ help. He doesn’t quite remember, but he wants to give it a try. It doesn’t go very well, but that is another story.

Theirs is a complex relationship in both apprentice and non apprentice timelines, but it is one both of them value, offences aside. Valerius was capital for Anatole to become the man he is, and while politically he doesn’t agree with him, and in non apprentice timelines, where he takes over as the Consul after the events of the game, a lot of his career efforts are directed towards undoing what was done by him and the former Consul before him (Anatole usually is in direct opposition to his family or his family’s connections) Valerius is his uncle, his friend, his protector and his mentor. He might be a bastard, but he is Anatole’s bastard.

To him he is the upright Hierophant, a teacher that initiated him in the ways of the world.

[willtravelfortefl]

ESSAY 3: Cambodian Culture

Cambodia is a nation with a rich but largely absent culture. During the Khmer Rouge regime from 1975 to 1979, as many as two million people were brutally murdered or starved as the Marxist Communist leader Pol Pot attempted to reestablish Cambodia as an agricultural nation. Pol Pot’s regime slaughtered 90% of teachers and over 60% of Buddhist monks (CNA, 2013)(Keyes, 1990). Despite the Khmer Rouge regime ending 40 years ago, decades of political instability prevented a quick cultural revival, and the current cultural landscape is vastly different than what could be found in previous centuries (CAN, 2013).

              Religion in Cambodia is a primary facet of the culture. Nearly 95% of the population is Buddhist, and monks are revered and respected, to the point where the Khmer language has its own vocabulary for talking about monks (Goldberg, 2012)(Non-verbal communication, n.d.). However, because the peaceful nature of Buddhism led to a string of foreign occupation, Pol Pot’s regime declared Buddhist practitioners any rights. Monks who were not killed were either forced to give up their practice or flee the nation (Keyes, 1990). Before the Khmer Rouge, at least 50% of men became monks for a period in their lives; now, it is less than five. After the regime’s end, Cambodian Buddhism became muddied. Most Cambodians practice a mix of Buddhism, Hinduism, and animism. Most believe in some form of ghost, demon, or spirit, often needing to be appeased, and shamanistic medicine is alive and well throughout the nation (Goldberg, 2012)(Lifey, 2014)(Sacred Earth Journeys, 2014). Monks are often afforded the most respect in Khmer culture, and eating after noon in front of them, touching without permission, and sitting at the same level or above them is disrespectful (Misunderstandings, n.d.).

              Cambodia is similar to other regions in their value system and deep culture. It is a feminine, collectivist hierarchical culture that only focuses on the individual as how they can best support the group. They are, due to their Buddhist nature, passive, patient, and resourceful (De Lourdes Serpa, 2005). They are highly contextual in their language, preferring indirect conflict to direct conflict, and will give signs of affirmation to show they understand what’s being said rather than necessarily agreeing. They refuse compliments to be humble, and will rarely ever use sarcasm. As in other Oriental cultures, pointing with a finger is impolite, as is direct eye contact, and the Western “beckoning” motion. Receiving gifts should be done graciously, first refusing and then taking the gift with both hands to show your appreciation and respect for the gift and the giver (Scroope, 2017). Removing shoes when entering a house shows reverence to the host. Personal space, particularly for monks, should be observed carefully, and especially by women. Certain pieces of jewelry and fine clothing can serve as a cue that one has a higher status in society, and may change the amount of personal space one should afford to others and can be afforded themselves. Clothing is a major stumbling block for Americans. Modesty — the covering of thighs and shoulders — is a sign of respect, and showing up for a meeting in casual clothing such as jeans and a tee shirt can be considered rude and disrespectful. Other physical faux pas are the touching of one’s head, as it degrades and despiritualizes the most sacred part of the body, showing one’s feet to another, as it’s the least holy part of the body, and using the left hand, which is used for bathroom activities (Non-verbal communication, n.d.). Most notably, standing with one’s arms at the sides of the body is considered aggressive and strong, while crossed arms is a sign of respect (Scroope, 2017).

              The culture primarily prefers men over women. Women are, in general, seen as mothers and nurturers, and are under the whims of their parents until they’re married, after which they become under the whims of their husband. Very few work outside of the home and only 6% of those who do get paid for their work (Gender roles, N.D.). Despite this, they are primarily responsible for the revival of culture, as they were spared over husbands and brothers taken to the killing fields during the Khmer Rouge. (Frieson, 2001) The suppression of the arts has taken its toll, but various classical arts, such as dance, have been recovered and can be found in most city centers (123goasia, 2012).

              Education in general, whether cultural education or academics, was nearly destroyed under Pol Pot’s reign and Cambodia’s system is far lacking compared to other countries in the region. Some facilities lack clean water and books, and some teachers charge to supplement meager wages (Untied Nations, 2011)(Kennedy, 2013). Many students, particularly in rural areas, don’t have access to school or have to stay home and work. There’s less money available and classrooms are usually overly full. Priority for English teachers doesn’t inherently go to those with more education or experience, instead favoring light-skinned, pretty women (Goldberg, 2012).

              This is a marker for most of the Cambodian lifestyle. Cambodia is a developing country and infrastructure varies vastly between rural and populated areas. Less than 12% of the roadways are paved in Cambodia, and rural areas have difficulty getting electricity and clean water. Some areas deal with unexploded landmines left over from the Khmer Rouge regime. However, even in the capital Phnom Penh, infrastructure is lacking. Power outages are common, some roads are not paved, and tap water isn’t safe to drink. Urban areas do have other problems, however. Trash collectors are known to go on strike and waste collects on the street until the dispute is settled. (Cambodia - Infrastructure, power, and communications, 2019)(Infrastructure and utilities in Cambodia, n.d.) Food that cannot be peeled or cooked may be dangerous to eat and parasites are common across the country (Lifey, 2013).

              Despite this, the unique culture of the Khmer Empire is more than enough draw to keep tourists flooding the country. Cambodia currently has the 15th highest GDP percentage from tourism, at 32.4% in 2017 (Contribution of travel and tourism to GDP (% of GDP) by countries, 2017). For comparison, tourism only accounts for 12.5% of Nevada’s GDP (Nevada Commission on Tourism, n.d.). Archaeologists, armed with the latest technology, are mapping the Khmer empire, now overrun with jungle. Phnom Kulen, the missing capital of the Khmer Empire, was rediscovered in 2012. Some compare it to Angkor Wat 50 years ago, covered in vegetation and near inaccessible (Beyond Angkor, 2016). It’s entirely likely that the next 50 years will see massive booms in the archaeological industry in Cambodia, similar to those in the Yucatan and Egypt. I can’t wait.

[sproingtrep]

So hey, I'm new here and dreadfully confused. Would you mind trying to catch me up on what's going on? I understand if that would take too much time but I would appreciate a little insight to what goes on here!

Oh man, I sure can try! This blog has been around for a couple years (I think, I don’t know how to check when it was made) so a lot of stuff has happened! Of course, there is a “story” tag, which should have all the posts that have advanced the “plot” of this blog over time, in reverse chronological order. But! That’d take ages to read (and I don’t think it’d be easy to do on mobile), so I’ll try and sum it up in this one post, under the cut:

Era 1 of the Sproingtrep Blog: The Safe Room

Purple Guy wakes up as Springtrap for the first time. The Puppet tells him that he’s trapped in the safe room forever, as punishment for killing the kids. Some time passes like this, and at this point the blog was not an ask blog. That, however, was soon to change…

People started interacting with Springtrap via the ask box, mostly asking random questions (I remember one was about dancing). At some point I got this ask:

Which was what made Purple’s ghost leave the suit, giving Springtrap a consciousness and the freedom to control his own body. Unsurprisingly, Springtrap absolutely hated Purple. So now the blog had a whopping 3 askable characters, and it took place exclusively in the sealed up safe room. The Puppet could come and go as they pleased, but Spring and Purple were trapped. (Although Purple is a ghost and can phase through walls, the Puppet “ghost-proofed” the safe room so he couldn’t) They were essentially alone with each other up until someone asked about the Phantoms, and then the Puppet introduced P. Chica, P. Freddy, and P. Foxy to the duo.

Another thing that would happen a lot is other Springtraps from other AU blogs would stop by and meet Sproing, which was interesting. The Puppet can open portals between these dimensions, so the other blog universes can interact.

So then…several asks and a small comic later…

Era 2: Fazbear Fright

The Puppet decides that, as a ghost, Purple is essentially harmless so they let the Amusement Park employees discover the location of Springtrap and Purple. Springtrap is hauled away in a big truck, and Purple follows. The Phantom animatronics, however, are left behind, with only a note that tells them where everyone went. To this day, they are still lost, on some kind of bizarre road trip or something.

And, now that Spring and Purple are in a bigger and better home, the Puppet decides to open a time portal from the past and let the Toy Animatronics come by to visit whenever they want. This is when stuff started to really pick up, I think. Since the Toys are from the past, when Purple was alive, they knew who he was. Up until this point, Purple’s real name was left unknown to the blog, but Toy Bonnie mentioned it. So this is when stuff starts getting less and less canon. Purple Guy is revealed to be James.

Purple wasn’t too happy about it.

Later on we see Purple becoming a bit less of a salty dingus and he does start to try and apologize to Springtrap for using him (as the Spring Bonnie suit) to help him with the murders. Springtrap isn’t really too big on forgiving him, but he stops trying to pick a fight with him constantly. Right after all that’s done with, Halloween time rolls around, which puts us at the next bit

Era 3: The Nightmares

So after a couple of asks and a whole lot of Halloween power, the Nightmare animatronics bust out of their own bizarre dream dimension and into the real world. They start living at Fazbear Fright, and are able to answer questions. This leads to a lot of fun posts. Also, people started asking about Fredbear a lot. So, Springtrap started asking around to see if any of his current friends knew about the long lost bear. Since Springtrap was a classic animatronic, from Fredbear’s Diner, he was much older than the rest, so nobody else remembered Fredbear. That is, except for Purple, but his knowledge of Fredbear’s location was vague at best. And, since all computer and written files of the bear’s whereabouts were inaccessible, Springtrap ended up doing something completely ridiculous:

Going back in time to get the information he needed. Literally, warped back in time to when the fnaf 2 pizzeria was open (this is the Puppet’s home time, they just brought Springtrap and Purple back with them). Purple tagged along because he knew where to look for the information, much to the Puppet’s annoyance. Some weird stuff happens, and they end up getting the address for where Fredbear was sold off to. Sproing and company head back to the present day, and try and figure out a way to get to the address they found. It wasn’t easy, considering the place was very far away and the couldn’t really leave Fazbear Fright without the amusement park guards seeing them and capturing them. Sooooo they waited around for….a long time (because I went on hiatus hgjghgh)

Era 4: Current Day Dumpster Fire

So they have the brilliant idea of actually going into the security room and looking for a night guard who can hopefully give them a ride out of the amusement park and out to get Fredbear. So yeah, this happens, turns out there’s been a night guard here the whole time!! She was just hiding. So they drive out, find Fredbear, bring him home, and then this blog lit itself on fire with really bad Purple Guy art and some stuff about the Puppet not wanting people to swear. To this day, Purple’s true backstory is unknown, and the blog is nowhere near the actual story of the real fnaf lore, because I didn’t know enough about it at the time of making up all this weird story junkTL;DR: This blog is an AU blog. It doesn’t strictly follow the canon of the fnaf games or books, but rather uses them as a loose guideline. Springtrap is separate from Purple Guy, Purple Guy isn’t named William Afton, and the Night Guard is just some random girl. 90% of this blog’s “story” is just weird daydreams I have and decide to post

[selainerodriguez]

Disability Everywhere Project: Granada Hall

    When considering the idea of “Disability Everywhere”, doesn’t it make sense to start with the places you frequent most? These places that we’re super used to and comfortable in can be the most difficult to critique. They’re also the most difficult to understand, as an able-bodied person, when it comes to how disability plays a role in these spaces. Both my first year at Stanford and this year, I’ve lived in West Lag. My frosh year, I was in a one-room triple on the second floor of Eucalipto, and this year I am an RA in a single room on the second floor of Granada. For the sake of this blog post, I’d specifically like to focus on Granada and how disability and ableism are understood in this space.

What is “Granada”?

    Granada is a dorm within the Lagunita Housing Complex, and is one of the two dorms that make up West Lagunita (also known as West Lag). The Lagunita Court housing complex is one of Stanford’s most historic residences. The complex was constructed in the 1930s and originally consisted of six houses, arranged around the central courtyard and dining hall (Lagunita Court, 2021). Some of the original houses have been merged/attached to form larger combined dorms (Ujamaa and West Lag), as well as the addition of two new dorms (Norcliffe and Meier). Besides the recent constructions of Norcliffe and Meier, the rest of the Lagunita Housing Complex was last renovated in 1998 (“Lagunita Court”, 2021). In terms of location within the court, Granada lies along Lake Lagunita in the southwest corner of the housing complex. Granada has housed many types of students, initially being an all-women’s dorm before becoming co-ed. In the recent past (at least the previous four years), it was a four-class dorm with co-ed floors. This year, it is an all-frosh dorm with single-gender floors. Many students have come and gone through Granada in the 90 years of its existence, so it’s important to understand how such a long-standing space can play a role in ableism and disability on-campus.

Alt Text: Aerial view of the Lagunita Housing Complex. There is a red pin with a house on top of the building to the upper right, which marks where Granada is located.

How does Granada contribute to ableism and inaccessibility?

    The first (and most noticeable) aspect of Granada is that it is completely inaccessible, in terms of providing physical accommodations. Specifically, Granada is one of three dorms out of the total forty-five Stanford dorms that does not have accessible common areas (ground entry or ramp), accessible restroom options, or an elevator (“Undergraduate Residences Accessibility Summary”, 2021). There are four different entrances to Granada, so you’d think at least one wound be accessible, right? Sadly, that’s not the truth here, so let’s take a look at what each entrance looks like:

1.     We have the entrance at the connection to Eucalipto. Although Eucalipto can be accessed through a ramp, you must go up the following set of stairs to enter Granada itself. These stairs separate the otherwise accessible areas of West Lag from the completely inaccessible section.

Alt Text: We see a set of stairs (six steps) with guardrails. The lead into a set of double doors that lead down into a hallway.

2.     We have the emergency exit that sits right past that first set of stairs. This door is the main emergency exit out of the dorm, but it leads to a narrow set of stairs that lead into the back parking lot.

Alt Text: We see two double-paned windows with a single door in the middle. The door is labeled with “Exit” signs both above and below. There are red and yellow streamers hanging above the door. The door is labeled “Emergency Exit Only” and has other flyers taped to it.

Alt Text: A narrow set of stairs (ten steps) with guardrails and brick surrounding it. You can see the buildings in the back and side.

3.     We have the back entrance that faces Lake Lagunita. This back entrance has not only one set of stairs, but two, that you must use to access the first floor. The first set of stairs is outside the dorm and the second set of stairs are as soon as you enter the doors. This door is the entrance closest to the dumpsters, a necessity many people from the entire housing complex have to access.

Alt Text: We see the back entrance to the dorm, clearly labeled with a green awning that states “Lagunita Granada”. There are two shrubs to the sides, and in the middle a set of brick steps (two steps), that lead up to the door.

Alt Text: A set of stairs (four steps) leading up to another level of the dorm, where you can see the hallway and room. Brown guardrails are attached to the walls on both sides of the steps.

4.     We have the other side entrance that faces the parking lot. This door is the entrance nearest the bike racks and the parking lot. The parking lot has ramps to allow people to access the sidewalks even though the sidewalks mostly lead into stairways (unless you are trying to access Norcliffe).

Alt Text: We see a set of stairs (eight steps to be exact) that lead into a doorway with a green awning above. There are bushes on the side of the steps. We can see the building and multiple windows around and above.

    If you are a disabled individual, I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to see a building like this (especially at a university such as Stanford, which prides itself on its forward-thinking). If you are not disabled, imagine that these stairs weren’t there, and there was simply a ledge you had to magically find a way to jump or climb on to. Imagine a society like the one painted in Finkelstein’s “To Deny or Not to Deny Disability”, where issues like not being able to jump into this ledge or climb to the level of the entrance of Granada are the center of your lifestyle and place you in a similar version of the “disabled village” theme (1988, pg. 651). The cause of disability “is the social relationships which take no or little account of people who have physical impairments”, which is exactly what we see here with the lack of physical accommodations (and the excess of stairs) (Finkelstein, 1988, pg. 651).

    Not only does the actual physical inaccessibility contribute to the ableism present in Granada, but also the stance and position that Stanford University takes on discussing issues centered around disability justice. I am sure that the University will state that because of Lagunita Court’s historical background or age, the buildings follow specific standards and rules that will not allow for ramps, and other structural changes and upgrades. In 1997, members of the Disabled Students at Stanford and the Stanford Civil Liberties Union rated many campus buildings as having poor disability access during a poster campaign. This poster campaign involved posting signs “at the entrance of about forty key buildings rat[ing] their first-floor access for wheelchairs, other floor access, availability of braille signs for the blind, and accessible bathrooms” (Stanford Report, 1997). I’m sure Granada would’ve been rated on the lower end back then and would still have a low rating today. Twenty-five years ago, Stanford tore down the posters that those students made, and today they still avoid talking about the lack of accommodations.

    In researching the history of Lagunita Court, the Stanford libraries had little to no information, and what was found primarily came from student publications and students’ written experiences. Even reaching out to Stanford Residential & Dining Enterprises (R&DE) led to a dead end, as no information was ever provided or followed up on.

Alt Text: Email from Selaine Rodriguez to Peter Young, reading “Hi Peter, I am working on a project for my class on disability and am hoping to focus on the physical accessibility (or lack thereof) in West Lag. I am hoping to take a more historical lens on this project and was wondering if you knew of any resources that discuss the history of the buildings or the accessibility of them? Anything similar or related would be extremely helpful. Thank you! Best, Selaine Rodriguez”.

Alt Text: Email from Peter Young to Selaine Rodriguez, reading “Hi Selaine, Thank you for your email.  I am copying Associate Director for West Campus Bobby Tillery on this reply so he can direct your inquiry in the right direction. Best, -Peter. Peter Young. Neighborhood Housing Service Center Supervisor Serving Neighborhood R.”

    The ability to not follow up on emails questioning inaccessible spaces, the ability to not have to worry about accommodations, and the ability to not document the history or past when it comes to disabilities showcase how much “compulsory able-bodiedness” allows us to forget and the privilege that comes with that (McRuer, 2006). Compulsory able-bodiedness is the idea coined by Robert McRuer that focused on how spaces and society primarily accommodate to the able-bodied before anyone else. With “disability being the one identity category that all people will embody if they live long enough”, shouldn’t we be thinking harder about how to always make spaces physically accessible for people (McRuer, 2006)? Spaces like Granada should be accessible for all, not just for able-bodied, relatively young and fit, college students.

Has Granada ever been accessible?

    As far as physical accessibility, I didn’t find any resources that indicated that Granada was ever accessible. However, in its long past, Granada has been accessible in other ways. Specifically, from Fall 2017 to Spring 2021, West Lag (both Eucalipto and Granada) was one of the main dorms on campus designated for individuals with emotional support and service animals. According to past RD&E websites, “students with documented medical needs approved to have Emotional Support Animals may be assigned to first floor single rooms in the West Lagunita residence” (“Lagunita Court (Old)”, 2021). Many different animals lived here for emotional support and service reasons, and I met a few of them when I lived in Eucalipto my frosh year. Nikola the Golden Retriever, Leo the Tabby Cat, and Nugget the Bunny were just as much part of the community as their owners were (especially when they escaped their rooms). Just take a look at this video of Nugget on one of his excursions down the Granada stairs!

    I thought there was an interesting contradiction in the past of Granada, though. How can a space be designed to accommodate in one way but do the exact opposite in a different way? This contradiction also leaves me with the question, what sort of accommodations are prioritized over others (especially in a college dorm)?

    In the RD&E wording for who can receive these animal-needs accommodations, we see the phrasing “students with documented medical needs” (“Lagunita Court (Old)”, 2021). The wording used by RD&E places an emphasis and a prioritization on the needs of students who have the necessary medical documentation. These statements align with “the medical model of disability discourse” described by Haegele and Hodge as it places doctors and scientists as the “cognitive authority” in the situation (2006, pg. 194). Without the proper documentation, you will most likely not get the help and accommodations you need, placing an extraordinary emphasis on your access to healthcare and the opinions of the doctors through their medical diagnosis. Access to healthcare in the United States is still a privilege that many are not afforded. For example, the only healthcare system offered to Native people living on reservations is provided by the Indian Health Service (IHS) (Deerinwater, 2020). A grossly under-funded system often far from the people who need it most causes folks more pain and struggle. Deerinwater captures this in describing that they “lose a little more of themselves every time [they] have to educate others, and stand up and fight for [themselves] and [their] communities, and file formal complaints in the medical system” (2020). Fighting for the proper diagnosis is not always successful. Without the correct diagnosis, there will always be a lack of accommodations with the current medical-centered system that universities expect.

    These experiences mean that in dorms like Granada, medically-supported accommodations are prioritized first, likely combined with accommodations that are “easier” to adjust to. This logic is why we see that Granada was introduced as the pet-friendly dorm despite its longer-standing issues with physical accessibilities.

What shifts are needed for universities to be more accessible?

    Firstly, society needs to acknowledge that with the current systems in place, it is already extremely difficult for students with disabilities to successfully apply to and attend a university. Students integrated into a special education curriculum throughout primary and secondary school are often not provided with a rigorous college-prep program. Specifically, “many special educational practices place the burden for college admissions on the individual student” rather than questioning if the school provided a good program (Reid & Knight, 2006, pg. 20). This emphasis on individualism and self-determination “may unfairly affect ethnic minority and poor students’ opportunities for college access while privileging White and affluent disabled students” (Reid & Knight, 2006, pg. 20). This focus tends to hurt disabled BIPOC students more because it focuses on social and physical capital that many families do not have access to. We see that difference in social capital present itself in the case where accommodations for college applications and exams are “already so rigorous that some disabled students can’t even receive them, instead toughing it out and suffering … as a result” (Smith, 2019). This harsh reality contrasts that of families with the social and physical capital are getting false diagnoses to allow their children accommodations so they can have more time and score higher on their exams (Smith, 2019). The discrepancies in how students with disabilities, especially those with multiply-marginalized identities, are treated in the college application process creates an arduous process.

    Once disabled students have managed to make it through the application process and transitioned to school, universities need to make their schools more accessible and accommodating. Dorms like Granada that are completely inaccessible shouldn’t exist, because they exclude valued members of the community and cause unnecessary stress for disabled students. Disabled students have done all of the work needed to reach this stage in their education, which is often more work than the average student, so don’t make their life more difficult now. Universities need to acknowledge and genuinely value disabled students as members of the community and realize that although checklists are a good starting point for accessibility and are often necessary, “access is far more than a checklist of accessibility needs” (Piepzna-Samarasinha, 2019). Once universities start looking at accessibility more holistically, by looking at the individuals and their needs, establishing disabled people as members of the community, and realizing accessibility is not optional, there will be major changes.

    At Stanford, this means that all dorms and spaces should be accessible. Start by making Granada and the two other completely inaccessible dorms better by adding ramps and other physical accommodations. After that, work on making all dorms accessible on multiple floors through elevators and other accommodations. Then there is a whole checklist of different spaces such as classrooms, community centers, and dining halls. Making spaces physically accessible is just the first few steps, then Stanford can take the time to dive into how the current process for getting accommodations is inherently classist, racist, and unreasonably challenging for students with disabilities. The major takeaway of trying to understand disability (at the local Stanford level) is understanding and recognizing where the university has seriously messed up. Now we must pressure the university to make those changes, so the disabled folks of the future don’t have to stress about the stairs in their friend’s dorm or other accessibility issues. Disabled students of the future shouldn’t have to worry about problems that already have solutions, but universities refuse to implement in the current day.

Alt Text: A screenshot of an Instagram post from @stanfordmissedconnections that reads “Bro what’s up with the fact that this campus is not only a disaster but is not accessible at all. I have arthritis and it’s flaring up and I haven’t been able to get to classes at all nor have I been given any accommodations. The doors to my dorm don’t even work so I have to walk around the dorm to get in. What am I paying for?

Class Sources

Deerinwater, J. (2020). The Erasure of Indigenous People in Chronic Illness. In A. Wong (Ed.), Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-First Century. essay, Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group.

Finkelstein, V. (1988). To Deny or Not to Deny Disability. Physiotherapy, 74(12), 650–651.

Haegele, J., & Hodge, S. (2016). Disability Discourse: Overview and Critiques of the Medical and Social Models. Quest, 68(2), 193–206. https://doi.org/10.1080/00336297.2016.1143849  

McRuer, R. (2006). Compulsory Able-Bodiedness and Queer/Disabled Existence. In L. J. Davis (Ed.), The Disability Studies Reader (2nd ed., pp. 88–99). essay, Routledge.

Piepzna-Samarasinha, L. L. (2019). Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice. Arsenal Pulp Press.

Reid, K., & Knight, M. (2006). Disability Justifies Exclusion of Minority Students: A Critical History Grounded in Disability Studies. Educational Researcher, 35(6), 18–23. https://www.jstor.org/stable/3876749

Smith, S. E. (2019, March 27). Why the College Admissions Scandal Threatens the Disability Community. Truthout. Retrieved November 17, 2021, from https://truthout.org/articles/why-the-college-admissions-scandal-threatens-the-disability-community/.

Other Sources

Disabled Students Group Protests Poor Accessibility of Some Campus Buildings. Stanford Report. (1997, May 14). Retrieved November 17, 2021, from https://news.stanford.edu/news/1997/may14/disabled514.html.

Lagunita Court (Old). Stanford R&DE. (2021). Retrieved November 17, 2021, from https://rde.stanford.edu/studenthousing/lagunita-court_old.

Lagunita Court. Stanford R&DE. (2021). Retrieved November 17, 2021, from https://rde.stanford.edu/studenthousing/lagunita-court.

Undergraduate Residences Accessibility Summary. Stanford R&DE. (2021). Retrieved November 17, 2021, from https://rde.stanford.edu/studenthousing/undergraduate-residences-accessibility-summary.

[jejciu]

Many (most?) of netflix's original shows (not just shows they co distribute) never come out on bluray or DVD. sure pirating exists, but digital copies get wiped, torrents become inaccessible once the last person stops seeding them, illegal streaming servers get taken down. Shows that become financial flops get taken down, never to be seen again, because Netflix doesn't want to be associated with failures. As beloved as it could be, it'll be niche material soon enough. I can imagine people popping by on lost media forums or subreddit in 10-20 years from now on, asking about stuff like... the single season show where Idris Elba was a DJ or Kathy Bates workplace sitcom about selling weed or something. There was a show for teens about living in the 90s and going thru puberty and whatever, and sure it was a flop, but god there must probably be hundreds of kids who actually loved it, and as adults, they'll keep desperately looking for it online to take a look back at it through nostalgia glasses. And like it's sad, because as much as I despise Netflix as a company, most of those actually had people with passion behind them..... Sure, they all should be on the platform still as of now, but soon they'll just be forgotten, because what doesn't bring immediate financial success to Netflix, is destined to be wiped away as if it never happened in the first place. You won't find those episodes on dailymotion, or on YouTube with titles like "part 1 out of 3". Some sketchy streaming site will try to tell you that they have the whole season for rent, but that's not true, their library will be just based on imdb database with empty links that lead to nowhere. Its sad.

I know that people like to repeat the "once u put it online, it stays online" but I think that the commercialization of the internet will only lead to the very opposite of that. It sucks, it really really does, but there will be more and more lost media, less archives to access... Even if the internet archive wins the case that's going on rn, its still not looking good. We have shows and movies and cartoons being taken down online with no legal way of watching them, we have artists performing their own music live on streams and being taken down because of DMCA, we have youtube going crazy with takedowns and every day u check twitter, there's some new guy begging for youtubes mercy because their whole channel got taken down for no apparent reason. I hope we fight against it, whether it means just pirating and finding new loopholes, or going down deep web. It's crazy that corporate greed is genuinely destroying culture, little by little.

[southeastasianists]

Despite a high adult literacy rate of over 90% (Noor Azam, 2016), the perceived lack of reading culture in Brunei is regularly lamented by educators and government via the Ministry of Education and the National Language and Literature Bureau (DBP). This widespread perception has been the focus of several government initiatives aimed at boosting the reading culture in Brunei, including book fairs, reading carnivals, academic seminars and other public activities. Non-profit grassroots organisations have sprung up with the stated aim of “fostering a stronger reading culture in Brunei”. 1 A national university has run an experimental study to improve the reading habits of undergraduates (Raju, 2014).

There are a handful of small bookstores in the country, which stock primarily British and American bestsellers, usually in category and genre fiction and non-fiction. Pulp Malay language novels from the region are also readily available at stationery shops with fiction sections. There have not been as yet any substantial studies on how the availability of digital reading material – free PDFs online, e-books – or the accessibility to international online bookstores that will ship to Brunei – has affected Bruneian reading habits. Indeed, despite the widespread perception that Bruneians simply “do not read for pleasure” (Nellie, 2012), I have been unable to find any empirical data to support this contention. A national survey on reading culture was reportedly conducted in 2012 by the Prime Minister’s Office – the results of this have not been made public.

Readers breed writers, naturally – lack of readership feeds into a lack of creative production. Low readership correlates to low creative writing production. I have written previously about the nascent but growing state of Anglophone literature in Brunei Darussalam. The table at the end of this article is an updated version of one included in “Comparing Contemporary English and Malay Literature in Brunei: A Comparison” (Kathrina Mohd Daud et al.) in 2016, and is an indicator of just how dormant Bruneian production of literature has been so far. Additionally, with the exception of one anthology of poems published in 1998, the entirety of Bruneian literature in English has been produced after 2009. Of the 8 novelists who have published, only 2, KH Lim and M. Faisal, have been traditionally published – the rest have pursued self-publication; while most of their work is available online through Amazon, some have also made their novels available in print.

The reason for this is of course partially pragmatic – the publishing and editing infrastructure for fiction in Brunei is primarily limited to the National Language and Literature Bureau, which also publishes most of the Malay language literature available. It is not surprising that the limitations of publishing with a government body with its own guidelines, timelines and internal censorship mechanisms are unappealing to writers. Additionally, there is also an inaccurate perception that the National Language and Literature Bureau publishes only Malay works – while the Bureau does run a concerted campaign to ensure that the Malay language remains a priority, it has in fact previously published English-language works, both fiction and non-fiction. To write freely about Brunei, then, Anglophone writers have increasingly turned to self-publishing.

How self-publishing is shaping Bruneian fiction

One of the primary attractions of self-publishing is creative control. The author has complete control over the final product which is released to the public, from cover, to blurb, to content. This has clear advantages when wanting to sidestep the bureaucratic processes involved in publishing within and especially about Brunei.

Four (out of eight) of the English-language novels are explicitly set in Brunei – Amir Falique’s The Forlorn Adventure and B.I.S.A (Vols 1-3), KH Lim’s Written in Black, Aammton Alias’ The Last Bastion of Ingei. 3 of these were self-published; the only one which was not, by KH Lim, was published by a Singaporean publisher.

It should be noted that Malay-language fiction is almost entirely published through either the National Language and Literature Bureau or through other government and regional initiatives, including contests. Unlike their Anglophone counterparts, Malay-language writers have not, for the most part, pursued self-publication. This may partially be due to the recognition that the global marketplace is more welcoming of Anglophone fiction; local translation practices and infrastructure are not as yet well-developed enough to serve this purpose – nor has there yet been enough demand to warrant its development.

Of the Anglophone novels published, both The Forlorn Adventure and Written in Black draw explicitly and implicitly on Western narrative tropes and forms – the former is strongly influenced by save-the-world American blockbuster narratives; the latter a re-working of and homage to Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn. Alias’ The Last Bastion of Ingei, perhaps, is the only Anglophone novel set in Brunei to not overtly and recognizably be a replication of a Western narrative trope.

This is not unexpected given the permeation of American and British media in the country, which has historically had significant cultural and linguistic influence in Brunei. Nevertheless, the question arises: given the extreme paucity of Bruneian narratives in fiction, where else can one look to find narratives of Bruneian identity?

Constructing Bruneian-ness

Narratives about Bruneian identity are being shaped in other ways, more ephemeral, easily missed, and yet persistent, for all that. Original bilingual plays written and performed bilingually at the national university and through non-profit grassroots organizations seldom find permanence through publication or repeat performances despite often sold-out shows, and yet these have a wider reach than Malay-language novels published by the National Language and Literature Bureau and seldom read outside of the classroom. One-off comedy shows and performances that take as their premise a shared understanding of Bruneian quirks, and are valuable for the commentary and insight they offer into and run only for a couple of nights, sell out. Art and photography exhibitions are becoming more frequent, but have the same transient quality as live performances.

Unfortunately, few of these performances and therefore narratives about Brunei and Bruneian-anness are recorded in the public memory through publication, critique or review. This means that artists and writers are consistently re-inventing, starting from scratch, lacking narratives other than the national one, than centuries-old classical ones, to resist, subvert, engage with. Indeed, many contemporary artists and writers in the country will have more familiarity and comfort with Western narratives than with classical Bruneian ones – particularly as Anglophone and Malay-language fiction are virtually not in conversation with each other. The nascent and derivative state of Anglophone Bruneian literature begins to make sense – every new creative endeavor is a palimpsest of what has come before, after all.

Exceptions have been made online – the website Songket Alliance, which features Bruneian non-fiction, mostly by young adults,  has run now for five years, and draws in a readership per piece of anywhere from 100 to 7000 readers. 2 Nevertheless, there is a precariousness about online mediums – in November 2016, The Brunei Times, one of only two English-language national newspapers in the country, was shut down overnight after having been in operation since 2006. Access to digital archives of ten years of reporting on Brunei was lost – since then, private individuals have worked to reinstate these archives online, but for a few months at least, these were inaccessible, rendering not only the reporting lost, but research and scholarship based on it, impossible to verify.

Another exception has been in the new media of film and TV – there have been 3-4 Bruneian films and numerous made-for-TV scripts – these form a tangible record of Bruneian narratives in TV and film. Very few studies, however, have been conducted on these narratives, and it’s unclear how much they permeate the Bruneian consciousness. Nevertheless, the fact that they are recorded gives scholars and commentators solid ground to work from, at least.

The future of Bruneian narratives: the need for a “critical middle”

Since the shutting down of The Brunei Times, three new media outlets have emerged to fill the void, all of them at least partially founded and manned by ex-Brunei Times journalists. An independent publisher, Heartwrite Co., is working to publish more original Bruneian works, and there are more translations of existing Malay-language Bruneian fiction being conducted for academic and research purposes. Only time will tell how successful these endeavours will be in rooting contemporary Bruneian narratives for artists and writers to look to. I would posit, however, that the future of Bruneian narratives may not be novelistic in form – new media, including film, TV shows, photography and short fiction and non-fiction – will continue to dominate the creative scene. It would be good to be wary of over-valorizing the novel form; instead, studies of Bruneian narratives must observe and understand how local artists and writers are choosing to express their narratives.  

At the Singapore Writers Festival in November this year, academic Philip Holden and poet Daryl Lim Wei Jie spoke about the challenge of establishing a “critical middle”, a culture of informed critique that hovers in between academic critique and individual opinions – primarily critical reviews appearing in local media. The critical middle can help not only to shape creative communities, but also provide a public record of ongoing creative production. This critical middle is broader and more immediate than academic critique, with more depth than individual reaction. The development of this critical middle, more than any other endeavor, I believe, will provide needed assurance to local artists and writers that their work is being consumed and reflected on, is being paid attention to, and more importantly, will anchor their work in a genealogy of contemporary Bruneian narratives.

Dr Kathrina Mohd Daud Lecturer | Creative Writing and English Literature Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences Universiti Brunei Darussalam

References

Kathrina Mohd Daud, Chin, G. V. S., & Maslin Jukim (2016). Contemporary English and Malay literature in Brunei: A comparison. In Noor Azam Haji-Othman, J. McLellan & D. Deterding (Eds.), The use and status of language in Brunei Darussalam: A kingdom of unexpected linguistic diversity (pp. 241–251). Singapore: Springer.

Nellie DPH Sunny. (2012). “Empowering a Reading Culture: A Brunei Darussalam’s Perspective.” TK Conference on Reading, Bangkok 2012.

Noor Azam Othman. (2016). Bilingual education revisited: The role of Ugama Schools in the spread of bilingualism. In Noor Azam Haji-Othman, J. McLellan & D. Deterding (Eds.), The use and status of language in Brunei Darussalam: A kingdom of unexpected linguistic diversity (pp. 253–265). Singapore: Springer.

Raju, Christine Jothy. (2014). “Voluntary Leisure Reading Habits of Undergraduate Students: An Investigation

Notes:

The motto of B:Read, a non-profit organization founded by young Bruneians

Personal communications with Chief Editor

[placethatechoes]

Dutch floodplains

(a self portrait, infrared monochrome )

This is the place I love, the Dutch floodplains, an area that has been greatly expanded in recent years by nature development. The area I shoot most of my photographs. 

Agricultural land has been given back to nature here, it is finally understood by the Dutch that the river needs space to flow. After very high water levels and large-scale evacuations of 200,000 people in the 90s, the threat and power of the river became clear once more. The river can only be channeled, but never stopped. It is like time, as life itself. The river branch where I stand next to on the photograph, part of this development,  is only half a year old, but it breathes the atmosphere of eternity.  It fits perfectly into this landscape. Dug out to lower the water level during flooding days. This area is popularly called Cloverland. These are adjustments to be able to live safely in the Dutch lowlands where, as everywhere in the world, nature is boss. The areas are becoming increasingly inaccessible and unspoiled in this way, a real resting place for wild animals.        It seems only logical, when you start supporting the river, you support all life around it. 

 and turns it into a photographer's paradise. 

The river delta that laid the foundation for this landscape is 14-16 million years old. The current natural river branches were created between 4000 and 1300 years ago (2000 BC-700 AD), and between 1100 and 1300 diked and dammed.

Chris Lindhout ©  | Instagram rights reserved  leave credits intact & Please reblog but not to nsfw

[hawkpartys]

Alright, thank you for being civil, but I am going to have to refute some of your factually incorrect statements

First

During that time, we stop forcibly breeding the animals (most pregnancies are artificially inseminated).

Most animals are artificially inseminated, not to create an unhealthy amount of breeding, but to minimize risk to the animals(ungulates are especially not gentle during mating). If left to their own devices with their own species, which I assume they will be, they will mate and maintain their population on their own. There is no way to shrink the population of livestock without massive culling efforts. Prey animals, like most livestock, are made to breed often and excessively, and they have no natural predators while being kept by humans. My family kept goats, sheep, etc for centuries. They have no trouble having sex on their own

But even if it was as terrible as you describe, you can’t honestly appeal to animal death as an objection. “The animals would die if we stopped slaughtering billions of them per year while breeding more animals to be slaughtered in 9 months time”.

I’m not sure where you are pulling these numbers from and I have an inkling they are meant more to evoke pathos than anything else, but the 9 months figure isn’t accurate for most livestock. And again, the animals dying is not an appeal to emotion but more of a “what are you going to do with them?” question. 

And the plants which we feed to animals add another layer of agriculture on top: 90% of Amazonian soy is fed to cattle in the US and Europe. Thus, by eliminating the animal agriculture industry, we can eliminate all of the damage which is caused thereby.

It takes a lot more plants to feed humans than it does meat. Even with the land that will presumably become animal ag-free, a lot of it will not be capable of sustaining human edible produce. 

People who are unable to change their diets - there are few people with so many non-animal-based allergies that they rely on meat for otherwise inaccessible nutrients - and they deserve to have a wide range of food available to them, which might easily be enabled with the massive amount of farmland that is spent on animals.

You say this like it is some small, hand-waveable part of the population. My little sister is one of those people. She would die on a vegan diet. If meat got more expensive due to scarcity from dismantling a worldwide food supply system, she would die. Even if they somehow manage to keep a reliable source of safe, FDA approved meat with no supply chain disruptions during this shutdown of animal ag, I do not want my sister to be told by cultural norms that she is a murderer and terrible person for eating the food she needs to survive. I do not agree with attempting to make a full vegan cultural shift. 

A better example is people with autism or eating disorders, for whom changes to diet are very difficult.

I’m aware. I’m autistic, if you couldn’t tell by my blog header. I could go vegan, but it would cause me a massive quality of life decrease. 

Vegan society only asks that we change our consumption habits 'as far as is possible and practicable’.

You say this, but if you were to dismantle the entire animal ag industry, where does this supplemental meat for the people who need it come from? Is it safe? Is it regulated? If we no longer breed livestock, where is it coming from? How do you reconcile this with vegan statements that eating meat is morally wrong?

(This principle also applies to people for whom meat is genuinely a cheaper alternative to plant-based food, for instance in USA food deserts. In most places though, meat is the most expensive part of the diet.)

This is the biggest problem with your argument, and honestly most vegan arguments in general. Many vegans I know assume that the whole world is like where they live(the US, generally). That everyone could, if they needed, walk down to the corner store and buy a bag full of vegetables and they don’t because they simply love meat too much. This is not to deride you, but I would like to try and offer another perspective. This may be a bit long but please bare with me. I would like to tell you about my grandfathers village

My grandfathers village is a small, rural community in a desert. Nothing grows there, just scrub brush and grass. They get water from wells which provide just enough to drink, and not much more. Most people in the village keep livestock. Goats, sheep, chickens, the like. And they eat them as well. These people live and die by their livestock. If they went vegan, they would starve. Even if they did have plant-based food(completely discounting fake meat, I don’t believe it exists in my home country, or at the very least it is not available), it would have to be imported. Flown in, and then driven down dirt roads to them at least twice a month. Do you know how much that would add to climate change? Do you know how much that would cost? You would say to these people, you must give up your way of sustenance, you must import these astronomically expensive foods, you must make your lives that much harder, because it makes me, someone who has never raised livestock, uncomfortable. I am not the one slaughtering these animals, but I believe that my feelings on them outweigh you, the people who raised them, who will go on to take sustenance from them. There are dozens of villages like this in my country. There are thousands of them in the world. Hundreds of thousands of people live lives so divorced from the way you do, with your relative privilege, and you think you can tell them to change based on your own feelings? I do not know if vegans simply do not think of other countries, of other societies, or if they do and simply don’t consider them people. Neither is good (I would like to add, if you ever looked my grandfather in the eyes and implied that he did not respect his animals, he would laugh at you. He raises those goats, those sheep. He slaughters them himself, humanely. He does not waste them)

I would be quite concerned if you base your actions on what wild animals do.

You then proceed to immediately bring up cannibalism and rape, two things that I was not talking about. This was mostly a hyperbolic take but I stand by the basic truth of it. Animals eat eachother. Humans are, also, animals. There is nothing wrong with consuming animals. I wouldn’t walk up to a hawk and tell it what to eat, and you shouldn’t do that to other humans either. 

Many vegans hope for vegan solutions to this problem - synthetic meat alternatives that meet the stringent requirements to give cats long and healthy lives.

I don’t want to doxx myself, but I am in a STEM industry, and while I do not work with synthetic meat, I have some inside perspective on these kind of processes. I can honesty say that it is too technologically intensive, too time consuming, and has such a large barrier to entry that I highly doubt it will be affordable for humans to eat within our lifetime, much less create enough excess for animal feed. 

But we have to remember: it’s either we stop owning cats, or billions and billions of innocent animals (many of which make lovely pets and are herbivores) are bred, fattened up, and killed young.

I see you’ve never kept goats, and I’m really not sure how this herbivores bit is relevant. A goat, cow, or sheep is a vastly different animal from a cat or a dog, with different emotional needs, physical needs, and so on. Also, I would love to see you try and enforce a vegan diet on a goat. They’ll eat grounded birds alive if you don’t watch them close enough, but I suppose its innocent when they do it. 

Moving on to the rest of your point. One, the concept of an “innocent” animal is a fallacy. A songbird is also innocent, does that make the hawk who eats it evil? Two, that is.. that is the life of any prey animal in the wild? They are born, they eat, and they are preyed upon in turn. Prey animals do not die of old age. You act like this is some kind of unnatural phenomenon. It’s not. And I do see that you are trying to appeal to some kind of emotional argument here but honestly, I am fine with that base concept. I do agree that animal ag should have strict regulations to make sure the animals are comfortable and live well, but at the end of the day everything dies and is fed on by something else. Things die. I understand that it makes you feel bad, that things die, but unfortunately that’s how life works. A hawk that kills to eat is not evil. A cougar that kills to eat is not evil. Humans that kill to eat are not evil. 

And one last combination anecdote and question. When fields of crops are harvested, with machines, there are animals in them. Any farmer will tell you that many of these animals, rabbits, rodents, deer, some ground birds, will succumb to the machine. Every single mass harvested crop is like this. So plant harvesting still kills many animals. How are they different from animals that are killed to be eaten? At least those are not wasted, torn to bits under a combine harvester. 

there's no way to end a hundred billion (a hundred fucking billion) lives without causing any suffering. and why do we even want to do it. there's literally other foods we don't have to jump through these insane hypothetical hoops to eat burgers we can literally just stop doing all the bad stuff and eat plants - while still reducing the amount of land we need to bulldoze for agriculture.