#and 'you're kind of a hypocrite and you go against most of the shit I've learned in my life but i love you'

[theinfinitedivides]

Regarding your recent post, I'm not even shocked that a certain section of this fandom are still trying to pretend Assad fans are any more anti black than Sam fans. I've seen plenty of anti blackness from all corners of this fandom, from both Lestat and Armand fans. But somehow weirdos think Sam fans are woke and progressive in comparison? there were Samstat fans who wrote disgusting fanfic of Louis calling other black people 'gorillas' for fuck's sake and specifically to prop up Lestat. There were Loustaters who thought it was a brilliant idea to go to a slave plantation so they can pose for their OTP photos. The Lestat fans who gloated about Claudia finally getting what she deserved, until they decided to use her as a prop for lestat sympathy post s2. But it's convenient for them to focus all that energy and blame solely on Assad and all his fans, because it suits the narrative they've already developed in their minds.

When people were making rape jokes about Assad's character, I recognized some of those blogs. One of them was a Loustater who I distinctly remember talking about Assad derisively. Because according to this fan, he's supposedly replacing Jacob next season. Which is an insane take like these people do know who next season about right? It's supposed to be a TVL adaptation and Armand does have appearances in that story. But here's the thing, they don't mention Sam at all. Now why would they claim Assad (a brown actor who has already has been sidelined repeatedly in marketing and nominations) has more potential to replace Jacob and not Sam, who Rolin already stated was going to be the lead in s3? When AMC has already pushed for more samstat presence in s2?

Let's be real here, some of these people live vicariously through the Jacob/Sam dynamic and the validation they feel from it that they are resentful of obstacles to that. Even if it's another actor of color potentially sharing more scenes with Sam in the future. This is also why they took that rpf poll so seriously ("if you don't vote for my preferred coworker ship, you're anti black") It wasn't just this blog, literally other people who were downplaying the racism for the awards snubs were very similar in that they are very invested in jam conspiracies and/or more lenient towards Sam and other white actors on the show. This bias has been called out by several black fans who I follow.

IWTV fandom directs a very noticable amount of vitriol towards the cast of color on this show. And yes, this includes the Muslim brown actor who fans see as the source of all their problems apparently. Fans behave like they can pick or choose what is racism or not with the marketing and nominations. Jacob, Delainey and Assad have all been subjected to all kinds of nasty remarks that are racist and colorist before this season even began.

It is possible to care about both anti blackness and racism against South Asians. It's absolutely important that both are addressed. But I guess these fans think that only one of these issues matter while continuing to bootlick a white corporation. It's sad and transparent what's really going on here.

A SECOND IWTV FANDOM READ HAS HIT MY INBOX. I REPEAT A SECOND IWTV FANDOM READ HAS HIT MY INBOX. someone call the fire department y'all trying to burn down my house with this one hold on

first off. idk where all of you are coming from with these good good takes but keep making them and keep reading the hypocritical fuckers in this fandom for filth while you're at it bc you are right and true and correct. we have seen shit on all sides bc having your pet character to hide behind doesn't change the fact that your ass is racist, but there's something about the racism from so-called Sam fans that is like. how do you even come up with that. how do you look at what you just said and think that's ok to post. and most times it is about making the South Asian Muslim actor the big bad, just like how here in the US racist pasty ass motherfuckers hear 'terrorist' and immediately conjure up images of folks from the SWANA region/South Asian subcontinent. it's othering. he's not like us so we can use him as a punching bag and pin everything we think is wrong in the fandom on him

living vicariously through the Jam dynamic................................ anon truer words have never been spoken. i get it. maybe they latched on too hard to the unholy trinity of the Loustat + Claudia family in the early days of s1 before that went down the drain and mother and daughter headed off to Paris and so they love seeing Jacob and Sam interact for promos irl. for those Jam fans who might see this listen to me. i am holding y'all very gently rn. go outside and touch grass there is no fucking reason whatsoever for you to get so delusional about two coworkers/work besties that you will use that to give the corporation propping up the white half in content he is not meant to be submitted for over the other members of the cast a free-for-all pass. no. it's like using fly swatters in this place the amount of messages i've had to delete from my inbox this week bc they all start with some variant of 'but Sam' and i do not have the spoons to answer that foolishness again

jumping all around your ask in terms of the order in which i make these points so i apologize but heading back to the Loustat blogs that have it out for Assad for whatever reason (specifically the ones making SA jokes about Armand)—i remember seeing that post and just being instantly horrified. i'm talking cold sweats level of freaked the fuck out. just bc you think AMC is going to use the shift in main vamp focus to possibly give Armand slightly more screentime that means he's going to replace Louis and therefore you can now wish things i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy on him. what the actual fuck. in my mind there is a spectrum and this shit is on one end and the rabid Marius stans are on the other and they are both equivalently bad. those two are shaking hands in the center over ways to violate and overlook Brown bodies and ykw i'm tired of not naming names so i'll name the ones who made these statements in the first place (note: i'm putting them below the cut at the very end of this ask bc i don't want anyone to be triggered by that kind of vileness as a jumpscare when i still have things left to say. not worth it.)

ykw honestly the obvious attempt to get Black and South Asian IWTV fans to split down the middle over whose blorbo/actor experiences more racism is disgusting. it's just like when they're always trying to get the diaspora (mainly African-Americans + Caribbean people of African descent, although i have seen them get the West African brethren involved) to start infighting over stupid shit bitch when the cops pull us both over they're not going to ask for a geography lesson. they won't ask us if we immigrated or if our family's been here since before the fucking Civil War. they'll shoot us both and call it an encounter where the two of us were resisting and they feared for their fucking life, like they always do. kicking Assad to the curb to lift up Jacob or vice-versa is not going to get you brownie points with the other infinite amount of racists on this hellsite it'll just buy you time until they decide to kick you to the curb when you open your mouth (if you open your mouth) and point out anything about their blorbo + the way AMC is choosing to promote said blorbo. frankly not even bootlicking anymore we're deepthroating that shit all the way to the back no gag reflex. get up. your Islamophobic xenophobic posting and 'pick a side' propaganda is not the slay you think it is

(note: the Armand SA post in question is below this marker. if you think a trigger warning applies, it probably does. stay safe. don't open this shit if you can't handle it. i'll drop the usernames in the comments for extra precaution regardless)

i had to unblock their asses to get this and then i blocked them right back. fuck me for even having to see this again but i did it for a good cause

[hsiiwg]

how tf do i write conflict for my characters????? I already know their goals, motivations, relationships and all that but the original outline for their conflict feels too ooc after i rewrote the story setting and i can't really think of another way to make something similar

This conflict is so fucking important since it starts, like, most of the character development.

[blindmagdalena]

I feel like I'm the only one who didn't like the milk scene and it made me extremely uncomfortable but like not becaues of it being lactation :( I feel like I have no one to talk to about it because eveyrone else really liked it and it makes me feel guilty because every time I try to in spaces people act like they're not allowed to nejoy anything and that I'm ruining their fun :/

hi sweetheart! you're definitely not the only one who didn't like it, but i know what it's like to feel like you have the minority opinion in a fandom. it's rough! and it's isolating. i've gotten several asks like this (both enthusiastic and negative) so i'm just going to use this opportunity to make my stance on the scene known.

i did enjoy the milk scene. i'm also someone who writes a canon rapist frequently committing acts of dub/noncon. i can see where people are seeing a boundary being overstepped, and even though i personally didn't read it that way, i'm not gonna argue with people who did.

that said, say i did view it that way... i think it would be kind of hypocritical of me to hold that specific act against her, especially given the context of the situation.

Homelander and Firecracker are both predators. they're also both traumatized to varying degrees. they're both very much not good people, and that's kind of the whole point. damaged people DON'T make good choices! they engage in dysfunctional relationships. they do bad shit.

i'm personally very interested in the fact that the scene took a distinctly nonsexual turn, and i'm curious how that will play out in their dynamic. Homelander is using (and abusing!) Firecracker just as much as she might be using him. he was stalking towards her with every intention of killing her before she hosed him! regardless of Homelander's past (of which Firecracker is wildly unaware), the power imbalance between them is immense.

let's not forget that Homelander uses and abuses... everyone. routinely. overstepping boundaries is kind of a defining aspect of his personality, and something most of us swoon over.

that said, you're still not wrong for being uncomfortable. lots of fans of Homelander—regardless of the nature of the source material—are wanting to see him engaged in a healthy and consensual relationship, and it's natural that those folks were let down when the scene didn't play out as they hoped it might.

at the end of the day this show is about hurt people hurting people, and what those relationships end up looking like. it's okay to be uncomfortable with elements of that.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Right Here

A Stargyle Fanfiction

A/N: With Steve and Argyle, I was suddenly thinking about all the people I talked to who are bilingual and some of the stuff they go through. I kind of thought about them both being bilingual. I don't know much about language, except I've struggled with even speaking my own because of my speech impediment. There's a joke that popped into my brain, that's in there, and my brain went what the th hell? I hope you enjoy it. 🫣

Steve had gotten over Nancy Wheeler before. He could do it again. Although, it's really completely. . .how does someone get over someone like Nancy? You don't, really. He respected the fact that she wanted to focus on helping her family before focusing on school. He had laughed with her when Jonathan had broken up with her for the very same reason. Still, he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed and a little heartbroken. That was how he found himself outside in the early morning to run through his problems.

"Steve!" A familiar voice yelled out.

Steve stopped and whirled around. Argyle had burst out of the woods, shirtless with his long hair tied up in one of El's handmade sparkly red scrunchies. She gave them out to everyone. Steve had a pink one on his wrist. Argyle looked just as sweaty as he felt. Steve was surprised to find that he thought the man looked good covered in sweat. Wait, what?

"Oh, hey, Argyle," Steve said.

"What brings you out here, gorgeous?" Argyle asked.

"It's been a while since I've been for a run that didn't involve getting chased by monsters," Steve said, trying not to blush.

"I've only been through this once, can't imagine going through this as many times as you guys have," Argyle said.

"What brings you out here?" Steve asked.

"I came to commune with nature and talk with the squirrels," Argyle said seriously.

"Oh, um. . .," Steve said, unsure of what to say.

"I'm messing with you, my man," Argyle said.

"I can't really tell with most people sometimes," Steve shrugged, laughing.

"Most people can't tell when I'm being serious or not," Argyle said. "Don't worry about it. I did come for a walk and to see how much life is returning these woods. The squirrels are pretty cute. I had to leave them, though. They were trying to make babies. Had to give them privacy."

"Trying to?" Steve asked.

"Oh, yeah, they're definitely not going to succeed. I'm pretty sure they're both dudes. No judgment from me, though," Argyle said.

"I don't judge, either. Well, not about that," Steve said and Argyle laughed.

"I would be a hypocrite," Argyle grinned as they started walking together.

"Oh, you're - ?" Steve started to ask.

"Argyle," he said.

Steve was suddenly aware of how short and tight Argyle's shorts were. They were also a bright yellow, and they looked nice against his skin. There was something missing about Argyle and it wasn't just his shirt. Or his shoes.

"You don't seem as cheerful as you usually do," Steve realized. "Is everything alright?"

"To be honest, Steve, I'm dealing with some heartbreak," Argyle said.

"Shit, I guess I should be honest," Steve sighed. "I'm dealing with heartbreak, too."

"Damn," Argyle said. "The world is trying to tell us something, Steve, but I'm not picking up what it's trying to tell us."

"Me neither," Steve said.

"I feel lucky, though, to have loved Jonathan even if he didn't return the feelings," Argyle said.

"I feel lucky, too," Steve said.

"Oh, you got your heartbroken by Jonathan, too?" Argyle asked.

"Nancy," Steve corrected him with a laugh.

"Small world," Argyle said. "I'm glad we still get to be a part of their lives."

"That's true," Steve said with a grin. "We're not alone, either."

"That is true, brochacho," Argyle said and smiled brightly. "Maybe we should find a way to make each other feel better."

"That sounds nice," Steve said.

Argyle grabbed Steve’s hand and led him into the woods. He hadn't hung out with him much, but Steve trusted Argyle almost as much as he trusted Robin. There was just something about him. He liked the way his hand wrapped around his. . .so safe and warm. Steve felt tingly. Argyle brought him to a small clearing in the middle of the woods. There was an open sky above them, and beautiful flowers starting to bloom around them. It looked like someone had already been there. There was an abandoned blanket and shirt lying on the ground.

"There's my blanket!" Argyle exclaimed. "Forgot where I put it."

It was a beautiful knitted piece, with a mixed arraignment of color. It was definitely Argyle's.

"This is a beautiful blanket," Steve said.

"Thanks, my abeula made it for me right before she died," Argyle said. "I miss her every day. She was the only one who ever understood me."

"Yeah, my grandfather Otis was the only one in my family who ever understood me," Steve said.

Argyle beamed and sat down on the blanket, patting the spot beside him. Steve plopped down next to him. Argyle laid all the way back.

"We're going to cloud watch," Argyle said. "That cloud looks like a bunny. His name is Ralph, and he's a nail-biter."

"Oh, yeah, he definitely looks like a nail-biter," Steve said as he laid down with him. "Ooh, that one looks like a wolf. When he gets nervous, he pulls out his tail hair and eats it."

"We all have our quirks," Argyle said. "Does he have a name?"

"Wesley," Steve decided.

"Wesley the wolf, nice," Argyle said. "Are Wesley and Ralph friends or enemies?"

"Oh, definitely friends, for sure," Steve said.

"Shweet!" Argyle exclaimed.

"I can't remember the last time that I've actually paused and just enjoyed nature like this," Steve said.

"Being on constant red alert will do that to you, I think," Argyle said.

Steve sighed and enjoyed the way the warmth of the sun felt on his face. Even though he was already hot and sweaty, it was a wonder feeling that left goosebumps on his arms. He peeled off his shirt, not caring that his scars were on display. A ladybug fluttered into view, hovered for a moment, and landed on Steve’s chest.

"You've been chosen, man!" Argyle exclaimed.

"I have?" Steve asked, smiling.

"Oh, yeah, the ladybug is enjoying the heck out of your boob forest," Argyle said.

Argyle had turned on his side and was now supporting himself on his elbow.

"Boob forest?" He asked. "You mean my chest hair?"

"That's what I said," Argyle replied, and Steve laughed. "Watch this."

Using his finger, he flattened the hairs on Steve’s chest and made a path for the ladybug. Steve watched with a smile as the ladybug went down the path made by Argyle's finger.

"Wow," Steve said.

"There's a whole world right here," Argyle whispered.

Steve’s heart began to race as he watched Argyle gaze at the ladybug. Argyle looked up at him. He wasn't just talking about the ladybug.

"Yeah," he whispered.

The ladybug flew off, and Argyle waved it off.

"Bye! Come again!" Argyle exclaimed.

"You're sweet," Steve said.

"Yeah, but I'm riddled with anxiety, though. It's why I smoke weed," Argyle said. "I try to play it off by being as goofy as much as possible. I feel everything all at once. It can be overwhelming. Jonathan always understood that."

Argyle shifted and folded his hands onto Steve’s chest. He rested his chin on his hands.

"I get that," Steve said. "Me and Robin both deal with severe anxiety. We try to help each the best we can."

"And you don't smoke weed?" Argyle asked.

"Honestly, we haven't gotten high since Starcourt," Steve said. "We don't even drink."

"You don't have to tell me, man, but why is that?" Argyle asked.

"The Russians, they, uh, drugged us without our consent," Steve said.

Argyle cursed in spanish. Steve smiled in amusement as he recognized the curse words that fell from Argyle's plump lips. He only really knew Italian, but he had a nanny who used to curse out his father in spanish. His dad had believed her when she said that she was complimenting him, not noticing she had discreetly sent a wink Steve’s way. Of course, his mother had to go and fire Rosa because she thought she was flirting with her husband. Steve had been so mad that he ran away to Rosa's house, and he had stayed there for weeks before he realized that his parents had left on business without noticing he was gone. He had to go back eventually because he didn't want to get her in trouble. He always went back and visited her as much as possible, especially after she died. He told Argyle all of this, trying not to think about the last time he had seen Rosa.

"Well, I'm glad you had her, man," Argyle said.

"Yeah, me too. She tried to teach me spanish, but according to her, I kept butchering the language. I'm no Robin, no one is, but I'm not terrible at reading the language. Italian either, it was my first language," Steve said. "I tend to get words wrong, especially in English. It makes me come off as an idiot. Only Robin knows how smart I am in Italian. Although Dustin is trying to learn now, which I think is sweet."

"Hm, I'm the same way, man. Spanish is my first language, too. . .so, those kids are like your pride and joy, huh?" He asked.

"As annoying as they are. . .yeah," Steve said. "He claims he's only doing it because he thinks Robin and I are talking shit about him in Italian. . .which we are, but I know why he's really doing it."

"He loves you," Argyle said.

"Yeah," Steve said, and he paused. "So, have you always know that you're - ?"

"Argyle?" He finished for Steve.

"Yeah," Steve said with a laugh.

"Abeula said my heart was always open to everyone, so she wasn't surprised when I came home with a boy after my first girlfriend," Argyle said. "My parents, on the other hand. . .Abuela always worried about how open my heart was, but I told her that it's always worth the risk."

"So, you never had any doubts about who you were or how you felt?" Steve asked.

"Well, I've had doubts about other things, but how I felt about people? No," Argyle said with a grin. "I did have a boyfriend who thought he was straight, but then one day, out of the blue, he asked to kiss me, so we kissed . . . then he later figured out he was bisexual."

"Right, bisexual?" Steve asked. "Like. . .?"

"Vickie," Argyle nodded. "Yeah, I know. For me, I was never into specific labels. I'm just. . ."

"Argyle," Steve said in amusement.

"What are you thinking about Steve?" Argyle asked.

"There's a whole world right here," Steve whispered, tucking a hair behind Argyle's ear.

"You know, if you and Robin ever want to smoke weed, I'll be right here to help you through it. . .whenever you're ready," Argyle said.

"That's nice," Steve said, his voice thick.

Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? His heart was racing, and he was sweatier than before. Steve was very aware of Argyle laying on top of him. He wanted more.

"You okay, Steve?" Argyle asked.

"You never told us your last name," Steve blurted out, his head all foggy.

"Didn't I?" Argyle asked.

"No," Steve said.

"Hernandez, it was my abuela's last name, I changed it after my parents kicked me out," Argyle said.

"I'm sorry," Steve said.

"Don't be, I found my home, and my abuela would be proud of me for keeping my heart open," he replied.

"I'd like to think Rosa would be proud of me, too," Steve said.

"Do you still need me to make you feel better?" Argyle asked.

"I think so. . .a little. . . "

"A little?"

"A lot."

Argyle moved up his body and threw a leg over him to straddle his waist. He stared at Steve, taking in his face as Steve did the same. Steve swallowed as he stared into Argyle's warm chocolate brown eyes. It felt as safe and warm as Argyle did. Argyle raised a questioning eyebrow at him and Steve nodding, trembling with anticipation. Argyle sank down onto him, pressing his body fully against his. Argyle's nose brushed against his, and Steve gasped as he felt Argyle's breath on his face. Argyle gently pressed his lips against Steve’s, finally closing the gap between them.

Steve let out another gasp and then a moan as he responded to Argyle's kiss. He kept soft and gentle, easing Steve into the kiss. It was his first time kissing a man, and he found that he enjoyed it just as much as he enjoyed kissing women. Argyle shifted, stretching his legs out and letting his hands brush against Steve’s waist. Argyle deepened the kiss, letting it grow harsher and more passionate. He touched his tongue against Steve’s lip, asking for Steve’s permission. Steve opened his mouth and let Argyle's tongue slip in. There was no fighting for dominance. . .it was just them trying to taste and explore every inch of each other.

Argyle pulled away with a gasp and trailed a bunch of kisses down from his cheek to his neck. He licked, bit, and sucked gently on Steve's neck. Steve moaned, cupping the back of his head before gripping Argyle's ponytail, gently tugging on it. He felt Argyle growl against his neck and rocked his hips up against him. Argyle gripped his thigh and hooked Steve’s leg over his hip before grinding into him. Both of their shorts were painfully tight.

"Are we really going to do this on your grandmother's blanket?" Steve gasped.

"Do you not want to?" Argyle asked.

"I was just making sure that you were okay with it," Steve said.

"Why do you think she made it?" He asked.

"Are you telling me that your abuela made you a sex blanket?"

"Yeah, she wanted me to be safe. It's for anything, really. Look, there's the pocket for the condoms!"

"Oh my God, there are condoms in there!"

"Well, it is the condom pocket."

Steve laughed and kissed him. This man was ridiculous, but he liked that. Argyle kissed his neck again, but this time, he kept going further until. . . .

"Oh. . .oh. . .OH. FUCK!"

Steve stumbled into his house, a grin on his face, as he ran up the stairs to his bedroom. He stripped and took a shower and even though he didn't want to wash away the smell of Argyle, Steve desperately needed a shower. He couldn't stop smiling even though his ass hurt. It was definitely a good kind of pain, though. After his shower, he went downstairs and ate before collapsing onto the couch in front of the TV. Steve couldn't even bother to get up to grab the remote. It didn't matter anyway. All he could think about was what happened in the woods with Argyle. Steve closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep with a happy sigh.

"DINGUS!"

Steve had been in the middle of picking up the phone to order pizza when he suddenly started thinking about Argyle. He had almost forgotten about hanging out with Robin and Vickie tonight when he woken up from his nap earlier. Luckily, Robin had left a message to remind him. Now, it was the evening, and he was tasked with ordering the pizza.

"Hmm?" Steve asked.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Robin asked.

"I just got lost in thought," Steve said.

"Well, get unlost! Vickie's hungry, and so am I!" Robin exclaimed.

"I don't mind waiting," Vickie said.

"Bless her, she doesn't know what she's saying she's so hungry," Robin said.

"Robin!"

"I guess that run from earlier really took it out of you," Robin said. "I noticed you were favoring your ass. What'd you do? Fall?"

"Something like that," Steve said.

"I told you that jogging is a pain in the ass," Robin said.

"You have no idea," he muttered.

He wasn't ready to tell Robin just yet. It hadn't even been a full 24 hours yet. He had gotten his heart broken by Nancy. Again. Went for a run in the woods where Arygle came to him like in a dream, and everything changed. That moment had opened him up to things he didn't even know about and things he didn't know about Argyle. It was too good to be true. . .Argyle was too good to be true, and he wondered if it had been a dream. He didn't want to rush in like he usually did. No, this time, he needed to know that it was serious. He needed to know for the both of them.

A FEW MONTHS LATER. . .

"Are you sure you want to tell everyone at the party, sweetness?" Argyle asked Steve.

Argyle was sprawled out on his bed, looking beautiful as always.

"Absolutely," Steve grinned. "I want everyone to know how much you mean to me."

"And how much do I mean to you?" Argyle asked.

"Hm, I don't know," Steve said. "I have to think about that."

Argyle laughed and grabbed Steve, pulling him into his arms.

"How much do I mean to you, mi amor?" Argyle asked. "Show me."

"We don't have time for this, Argy," Steve said. "We have to get ready."

"I beg to differ," Argyle said and rolled on top of him.

"You were on top last time. My turn."

It was all Hallow's Eve, and Steve was throwing a costume party at his house for the young adults. Mike had insisted on a party for him and the kids in his basement so they weren't there. Steve was pretty sure that they were going to play a Halloween themed D&D game. Nancy and Jonathan were away at college, but also still very single, so they wouldn't be joining them. It would be Steve, Argyle, Robin, Vickie, Eddie, and Chrissy. Of course, no one knew that Steve and Argyle were dating, so Steve had thought to announce it at the party. The thought had come to him when Eddie suggested that the couple costumes should be that they should dress up as their partners. Steve wondered if Eddie would be wearing Chrissy's cheerleading uniform. That's probably why he suggested the idea in the first place.

"Dingus, where's your costume?" Robin asked when she walked into the kitchen.

"I was making finishing touches on the food, and then I was going to change," Steve said. "Argyle and I made the pizza ourselves."

"Good, because we've all been dying to see who you've been dating these past few months," Robin said.

"Who says that I've been dating anyone?" Steve scoffed.

"You've been entirely too happy," Robin said.

"Maybe I'm just happy that we're all alive and together. Did you ever think about that, Robin? Hm?" He asked.

"I know when my best friend is in love," Robin said as she adjusted Vickie's hat on her head.

"Robin, you look great in Vickie's clothes, by the way," Steve said.

"Doesn't she?" Vickie beamed as she fiddled with Robin's tie. "Although, I much prefer her in her own clothes, or out of clothes all together - "

"Vickie!" Robin exclaimed with a smile before turning back to Steve. "And don't change the subject, Steve Harrington."

Suddenly, there came a loud knocking on his door.

"Oh, good, saved by the door," Steve said. "Food's done, by the way."

"Pineapple pizza? Ugh, that is scary," he heard Robin say.

Steve opened the door to find Chrissy and Eddie standing on his doorstep. Eddie was in full cheerleading uniform. His hair was up in a ponytail, and he had on makeup. Jesus, his legs were even shaved. Meanwhile, Chrissy was wearing dark jeans, a Hellfire shirt, and Eddie's vest.

"So, Eddie was very enthusiastic about dressing up as a cheerleader," Steve said.

"Yeah," Chrissy grinned.

"Should I ask why?" Steve asked.

"I wouldn't," Chrissy said, her grin growing wider.

"So, I'm surprised Eddie even knew how to knock," Steve grinned.

"Cheerleaders do NOT just barge into people's houses, Steve Harrington!" Eddie said in a very high falsetto, swinging his ponytail in an exaggerated fashion.

"I do not sound like that or look like that. You look demented, Eddie," Chrissy giggled.

"Careful Cunningham, or you're not getting the something extra I put under this uniform for you," Eddie said.

He flipped his skirt at her, giving her glimpse without showing Steve. Chrissy followed behind Eddie. She was bent over sideways, staring at Eddie's ass and trying to get another look under his skirt.

"Where the hell is your costume, Steve?" Eddie asked as they joined the others in the living room.

"I'm going to get changed now," Steve said.

"Good, because we've all placed bets on who you're dating," Eddie said. "And I'm looking forward to putting some more money in my bra."

"You're wearing a bra?" Chrissy asked.

"Authenticity, baby," Eddie said.

"None of you are going to win," Steve grinned.

"Hm, maybe he is right, and it is no one. Is it too late to change my answer?" Robin asked.

"Yes," Eddie said.

"Damn."

"Did I see Argyle's van out front?" Chrissy asked. "Who did he bring?"

Steve laughed all the way up the stairs and into his bedroom.

"Ready to change?" Argyle asked.

"Oh, yeah," Steve said.

Argyle kissed Steve before helping him out of his clothes and into Argyle's. Steve’s boyfriend had stood admiring him for far too long, and Steve ended up having to push him into his clothes. It was almost unsettling seeing Argyle in a polo instead of his usual bright colors, but Steve supposed that everyone was out of their element tonight. That was the whole point. They walked downstairs into the living room and into the group, having a rather loud debate over who Steve was dating. Well, Vickie and Chrissy had wisely chosen to stay out of it. It was really just Robin and Eddie screaming at each other. Steve clapped his hands to get his attention.

"Argyle! Did you bring anything DELIGHTful with you?" Eddie asked.

"Aw, Steve, you and Argyle have become such great friends that you decided to switch," Robin said. "Wow, it really was no one. I'm sorry, Steve."

"Wow, Robin, as smart as you are, you sure are dumb," Steve scoffed.

"Some people just don't get it," Argyle grinned. "Should I show them?"

"I think that's what it's going to take," Steve said, sharing a knowing smile with Argyle.

Argyle wrapped his arms around Steve, dipped him, and kissed him deeply. Steve smiled against Argyle's lips as everyone gasped.

"Did not fucking see that coming!" Eddie yelled.

"I thought it was Nancy for sure!" Robin exclaimed.

"I told you," Steve gasped as he pulled away from the kiss. "She rejected me."

"I thought you were telling me that just to spite me," Robin said.

Argyle laughed, sat down, and pulled Steve into his lap.

"I'm bisexual, Robin," Steve said.

"And you're - ," Robin turned to Argyle.

"Oh, I'm Argyle!" He exclaimed happily.

"He doesn't do labels," Steve shrugged, looking at him fondly.

"So, how did this happen?" Eddie asked.

Steve smiled and told them exactly how they got together. Unfortunately for Robin and to the delight of the others, he didn't leave out a single detail.

"Ugh, gross," Robin said with a smile. "Wait, how on earth did Argyle convince you to put pineapple on pizza?"

"He made an excellent point," Steve giggled.

"And the point was?" Eddie asked.

"Well, if he likes Mexican topping Italian, then he should definitely like pineapple topping pizza," Argyle said.

Eddie stared at him before bursting into laughter and high-fiving Argyle.

"He got you good, big boy," Eddie said.

"Ew, don't high-five my boyfriend for railing me," Steve said, struggling not to smile.

"You called him your boyfriend!" Robin squealed and started rambling in Italian.

Steve grinned and started talking back to her in Italian.

"They're talking shit about me, Christine, I know it," Eddie said.

"Yeah, they said you look hideous in that skirt," Chrissy said, and Eddie gasped dramatically.

"You don't even speak Italian!"

"You look good in my clothes, babe," Argyle whispered.

"You look good, too," Steve whispered. "You look better out of them."

Argyle laughed and kissed him. Steve peppered him with kisses and leaned his forehead against his.

"Steve," Robin called out.

"Yeah," Steve said.

"You look very happy," Robin said.

"I am," Steve said, continuing to gaze at Argyle.

Nancy and Jonathan couldn't be here to see how happy they were. Steve and Argyle had managed to find happiness without being with them. Steve was sure that they could have found happiness on their own, but he was glad that they had found each other. He was sure somewhere in another life, he was happy with Nancy, with Jonathan, or both. Hell, he might have ended up with Eddie or Chrissy. He already proved that he could be happy on his own. In this life, however, he was happy with Argyle Hernandez. There was a whole world right here, and it was in his arms.

[ryhmus]

Dearest ROWAN, would you tell us more about your relationship with your most beloved allies and your most hated enemies?

ROWAN;"First ask for me and it's about all my enemies huh? well that's kind of tough to start with, I've made way too many to count, but I'll go with a few at the top of my mind.

There's OMORI for a start, absolute fucking prick that I want to shove my shovel in a place where the sun doesn't shine. He created me to kill Sunny's trauma demons and keep BLACK SPACE in check until he kicked me down there after a...We'll call it a heated argument over Sunny's well being that went south real fast...

Actually, we used to be friends you know? That's what stings most about it. I did what he made me to do for his sake, and he banishes me to hell for doing too good of a job. Fan-fucking-tastic, considering how much of a hypocrite that monochrome freak turned out to be.

Look, I didn't want that photo that got me into this mess, I didn't want to know that my world, my friends, my entire existence, everything I knew and cared for, wasn't even real. I especially didn't want to have to plan to do something so risky to Sunny life, but I had no other options. I was punished for knowing too much just like all the others that came after me, but I at least could have done something about it.

If you're listening to this OMORI. Fuck you...fuck you and that cheap green-tinted faker you replaced me with too. You're lucky he was there to keep me from finishing you off on SNOWGLOBE MOUNTAIN. And most of all, fuck you for turning my friends against me...

...Oh, and then there's HUMPHREY, damn whale and his annoying laugh...Ugh, I hate water...

So the few friends I do have is my partner in crime, KEL, we do fun shit together. AUBREY is nice to me and she helps around in my garden. HERO and I like to talk sometimes about deep stuff.

MARI is one of the closest people in the life that I've known her. Her cookies are Amazing, period...only problem with them is that I have to keep reminding myself to share them and not eat them all at once.

Then there's FLOWER, I love him, he was my support when I was trapped in BLACK SPACE with so little hope left, my little endless supply of positivity and light in the dark when I needed someone to hold and tell me I was going to be okay.

With my second chance at life, I'll cherish FLOWER and keep him safe...

ROWAN;"FLOWER? are you crying?"

FLOWER;"*sniff*T-that was so sweet, I-I love you too."

[fite-club]

Here's my celebrity endorsement of your clownery: you keep saying you said someone who is not transfem was not transfem, and therefore did not accuse a transfem of not being transfem. Has it occurred to you that you perhaps have different definitions of what constitutes being a transfem? I don't know who this is about but possibly it was the bi-gender person who emphasized only the fem/lesbian part of their identity in posts asking for charity, which is perhaps tactically misleading but not an unforgivable sin when you're in a bad situation and people prioritize like that, and critically does not mean one isn't transfeminine just for being something else as well.

But maybe the person you're talking about was someone who was like "oh yeah sorry I've been pretending to be transfem", I don't know. I just keep seeing you saying "but they really WERE pretending to be transfem when they weren't" with no elaboration. You need to supply details or you just sound like you're tautologically justifying doing what you're accused of.

first off, that’s where the main conflict with clem-mp3 is coming from— they aren’t a trans woman, they are some unexplained nonbinary possibly-intersex person who identifies as “transfemmasc”. we, of course, have different definitions of “transfem”, and that’s why i kept saying they weren’t. with that donations post that person very clearly was being purposefully misleading about their identity in an attempt to get more money, primarily by calling themselves black when they clearly are not black, but that also applies to calling themselves a transfem lesbian when they clearly are not. i’m not going to try to explain to you why that’s fucked up, but like, i don’t think we need to give that person the benefit of the doubt when they so obviously are twisting their labels in hopes of financial gain.

easily the most frustrating part about this (besides “people who don’t know me making shit up about me”) is that the 3 other people who were transmasc pretending to be transfem that i keep referencing all blocked me months (or even years) ago and there is no way for me to display those interactions let alone find the usernames of those people. if i had the hindsight, i would’ve screenshotted all of if, but i didn’t. i’ve explained how i knew those people were transmasc (labels and pronouns in bio, certain flags and posts about being transmasc reblogged, selfies, etc) despite them typing out “as a transfem,” or whatever. these things happened, i swear. that's why i've referenced them so many times.

actually, i can name ONE name outside of those 3 instances, and it’s to whom i told that quote that keeps getting thrown around where i basically said “i know you’re not transfem because you’re arguing way too hard that ‘transandrophobia’ exists”— rmilkies. their bio is “no longer a bitch but a grumpy old man”, which i interpreted as a kind of reference to being ftm, and they also sent me anonymous asks where they outright state that they aren’t transfem (i cannot prove these anon asks were by rmilkies, but they were sent mere minutes after us interacting about the same topic, so).

at the end of the day there’s a lot of “you just have to take my word for it”, and seems like many people’s words against me are being taken for it while mine aren’t. if you want to say “i don’t have to believe you that you talked to transmascs pretending to be transfems”, then i should be allowed to say “i don’t believe that this person claiming to be a transfem is actually a transfem”. do you get what i’m saying? do you get how hypocritical it is to say “holy shit this guy is insane and transmisogynistic for wanting ‘proof’ that someone is transfem” and then turn around and say “well actually this guy doesn’t have any proof that the transmascs he was talking to were transmasc so we don’t have to believe him when he said that they were pretending to be transfem”?

[angelsafez]

"The three kinds of people I dislike most are Gossips, Liars, and Hypocrites."– Carole Radziwill

twitter is so fucking toxic, for god sakes! people will have a stance in fandom and another completely opposite one for celeb fandom which make them hypocrites. Gosh!

If your attitude is no sexualization [e.g. being against what was done to that hockey player in the hockey booktok], ship and let ship [aka no abusive behaviour], why do people don't bring that to celeb fandom? the SEXUALIZATION of REAL PEOPLE and the CYBERBULLYING done against REAL PEOPLE are MAJOR!!!

— Being for celebs' looks, relationships, etc., it's envy that makes people cyberbully them pretty simple and obvious. You want to be on their fucking place and that's why you are badmouthing them so bad, got it. Get a fucking life and stop being such an asshole! There's people even hating on celebs' younger than them– are you not happy with your life? Then go, do something about it and change it because that's a 'you' problem.

And don't say this is an age problem. I've seen ADULTS in their 30's doing this hypocrite shit, if it was teens it would be categorised as a basic "they are immature, they will grow out of it", but adults? Who have a job, that are paying bills – some might even being raising the next generation –, that have a place in their society, you know? Why such a bully, with a pinch of sexual harassment, in social media? Or are they like this in real life too?!

And don't start me on the dictatorship that twitter is becoming: or you follow x opinion or you are canceled for some reason that they'll take out of their fucking ass. And they'll be hateful as fuck about it even while preaching against abusive behaviour.

I'm literally at this distance 🤏 of just deleting twitter, it's starting to become not worth it especially for my mental health. The only way of me not deleting it is not scrolling on the timeline cuz for god sakes, It's every piece of shit that appears there!

Just a clarification: I never used names while writing this, which would be impossible taking in account that I never thought specifically on someone, therefore if you ever thought this was me throwing a shade to you that's your conscience sending you a warning maybe you should listen to it.

You matter, you're loved and you belong

Take care, –V 💙

[every-dayiwakeup]

I've got a few things to get off my chest:

🔵The next time I see anyone saying "yeah he died and apologized but it's still not enough" my response will be:

So tell Jesus that sacrifice isn't enough and neither is "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing".

Actions speak louder than words, and on top of that Billy's last words were an apology.

But I guess when you add it all up in the Catholic calculator, it means absolutely nothing.

Too much talk of change without mentioning the integral step for change, which would be getting Billy support and him leaving his abusers.

We write fanfictions where he gets to do that because canon would not give it to us, which is ultimately what fanfiction's sole purpose is.

Unpopular opinion maybe, but I don't think Billy is the one that needs to change here. I believe that his environment makes all the difference, and even then it sure as hell won't be easy.

There's nothing wrong with him, and I often see people overexaggerating "what he's done".

Why aren't other characters in the hot seat? Why specifically Billy? Why are any characters obligated to make up for whatever they've done?

Fiction gifts us escapism, and I've seen an uptake in people blurring the lines between the two.

I don't want Billy to change who he is, and I think it's kind of funny that to some, being in a relationship with Steve (or anyone) will "fix him". Let's not act like Steve Harrington doesn't repress his emotions. He's also like 19, and it makes no sense to me that anyone would want to be in a relationship with someone who's goal isn't to love you, but to "fix you" somehow until you're "worthy of love".

You're basically dating a therapist.

🔵Let Billy Hargrove be messy. Quite frankly other characters should be, too! He is a textbook abuse victim, and if you can't accept or bother to understand what abuse does to someone, that's a you problem.

Let characters make mistakes. Relating to Billy aside, I enjoy him because he stands alone among npc characters, and I firmly believe if not for the narrative:

not being able to handle him

trying to reduce him to a joke like damn near every other character (yes hahaha have a bunch of forty year olds creepily watch a teenager, and just for extra laughs let's make him look like a homewrecker and his groomer a feminist!)

framing said victim repeatedly as the big bad teenage "oh he's mature looking" boy (like we don't have enough of that bullshit 😒)

going directly against Dacre's Billy (pushing the whole womanizer thing for one... "happy screams" 😑)

guiding an immature audience to hating a character because he's not a main

refusing to condemn canon abusers while shitting on an abuse victim (for the love of fucking hell, if you feel the need to tell your audience who to hate and who to root for, then I guess you don't think you've done enough of a job as a writer)

... maybe just maybe viewers wouldn't hate or misunderstand Billy as much. Plus in addition to overexaggerating they also tell blatant untruths, so there's that.

I don't know about y'all, but I don't see the point in herding people to like or dislike characters. Let them come up with a conclusion on their own.

I wouldn't even give a flying fuck about what other characters in ST have done, had it not been for the general fandom demonizing one character while putting on their hypocrite hats and their bloated sense of self morality.

They act like Billy is worse than Vecna, Brenner, those bullies in season 1... They refuse to even bring up Neil, and conveniently "forget" that Billy was possessed for most of s3.

The only people I really see making excuses are Brenner and Vecna stans. Oh, and Jason, too.

I don't really care who stans who, but if we're going to keep playing this bullshit morality policing game (with fictional characters 💀), let's not act like the worst character on TV is Billy Hargrove.

Seriously, I can come up with a list of characters (Stranger Things included) who are worse.

The difference being it doesn't keep me up at night... because they're not fucking real.

[newtgeiszler]

i wasn't gonna talk much about no longer being an exclusionist because i'm like "yeah i've changed i can't stand dwelling on the past that shit doesn't matter anymore," which is, indeed, my general philosophy, and plus i don't take tumblr as seriously as i used to anyway.

but i figure my blog is so steeped in a long, long history of exclusionist posts, most of which are still up even if they no longer reflect my current beliefs. so it's only fair that i address it more candidly, if only because it's a coward's way out to just sweep it under the rug.

i unconditionally support asexual and aromantic inclusion in the LGBTQ+ community. i know why i believed what i did in the past made sense to me at the time, and i never considered myself hostile towards asexuals, but in practice, i absolutely was, and that hostility is exactly what got me to reflect on my beliefs. even at my most aphobic, i was always doing what i could to listen to asexual people an include them when i thought they "deserved" to be included, and it was my willingness to reflect on that even in the thick of my exclusionist ideas that got me to see it the other way.

there was a time when representation and everything the asexual and aromantic communities asked for seemed trivial to me in comparison to what trans and gay and bisexual people have gone through. this idea was at the heart of my exclusionist beliefs. but as anti-trans and anti-gay rhetoric was getting louder, and legislation against our rights got stronger, i saw so much similarity in my anti-inclusion school of thought as anti-trans radicals. at that point, it no longer mattered to me whether or not it was true, i just didn't want to be like them. and eventually, i started to realize it was never true either. there are degrees of oppression all lgbtq+ people go through. we don't have to be physically assaulted for our erasure to have serious consequences for our mental health and our rights and our lives. we don't WANT to have to be physically assaulted for our rights to matter. i think asexual oppression is real. once i opened my eyes to that instead of just dismissing it as "misdirected homophobia" or whatever other empathy terminating thought i could ascribe to it, i realized this entire argument was really silly.

there are a lot of people i made friends with through our common exclusionist tendencies. i have nothing against those people. i would be a hypocrite to! i think if you still feel that way you're wrong. i think i was wrong back then. but if you're not totally convinced yet, i hope you just do what i did before i realized and try to have compassion for the asexual and aromantic community anyway, until one day you realize that maybe you were being kind of a dick to them.

you will probably see me continue to just type "lgbt" or "lgbtq" instead of "lgbtqia+" or something. that's not really a jab or a dogwhistle, it's more because i type how i verbally speak, and i think most people don't say "elle gee bee tee queue eye aye plus" out loud.

anyways, long story short, i'm sorry. i'm sure i have a lot of other stuff to be sorry about too. this blog is over a decade old. i don't want to take too much of it seriously, because it's just tumblr, but i reckon if i would take anything seriously it would be this.

it also says you're an ace exclusionist and uhh fictionkin? are those still accurate? just curious at this point

well, one of those things is still true....... i will let you decide whether it's the more embarrassing one

[littleoddwriter]

Good evening I hope you are healthy and well!

Can I request some Poly!Asa und Jesse with an S/O that always gets in trouble or is trouble seeking? They love to sneak out in the night to investigate potencial dangerous areas or even forbidden areas like old houses that may broke down from withering to much or they have a tendency to willingly start a fight against someone stronger and dangerous when said person is talking shit or just being mean in general?

Asa Emory/The Collector x Trouble-Seeking!GenderNeutral!Reader x Jesse Cromeans/Chromeskull | Headcanons

Hello there and thank you so much, I seriously hope you're healthy and well, too! <3 Thank you very much for this request, I really hope you like what I've done with it and the direction it took. :)

notes; Gender Neutral!Reader; Poly-Amorous Relationship; Impulsive & Reckless Behaviour.

Reblogs > Likes. Thank you!

Since out of the two, Jesse is more in touch with his emotions, he's naturally the one, who is most worried about you when he starts to notice this sort of behaviour in you.

He even disregards his own plans for the night and follows you instead to see what you're up to and save you from any dangers - Asa actually tries to talk him out of it, because he trusts you to know what you're doing, and he doesn't think it's any of his business, just like his and Jesse's hobbies aren't of your concern, either (obviously, Jesse doesn't listen).

It surprises Jesse when he finds you in an abandoned hospital that looks one loud noise away from collapsing and he quickly, but quietly, closes the distance between you two and drags you out of there, not without protests from you.

Outside, he wants to know what the hell you're doing in such a place in the middle of the night and if you're looking to get killed, which doesn't land so well, and you two kind of end up having a fight (as in, you ignore each other for the rest of the night).

When you come home, battered and bruised, during one of those nights, Asa admits that perhaps Jesse was right in being concerned about this little habit of yours.

So, while he's patching you up, he demands to know how and why you got hurt in the first place, and when you honestly answer and tell him that you basically sought out a physical altercation with some dangerous looking guy, Asa tells you that you're grounded.

All three of you stay home, then, and they keep an eye on you the entire time, much to your annoyance.

Even when you call them out on being hypocrites, because what they're doing isn't any less dangerous, after all, and they are your boyfriends, which should be more concerning than some random buildings and/or people; but they won't take the bait.

After you've been grounded, and you also had time to talk it out with Asa and Jesse, you start this routine where one of them goes to follow their hobby and the other one makes sure you're safe when you go to abandoned places, etc. They exchange roles every other night.

It's the best solution for all of you, since you don't have to change your way of life, while they can both go about their own ways without worrying about your well-being too much as well.

[rantingcrocodile]

You don't have a nuanced approach to bisexuality. You misstate the conclusion of studies, attack lesbians, and spew plenty of misogyny in self-defense of liking both sexes because you refuse to hold other bisexuals accountable for the heteronormativity brought into LGBT spaces and the number of bi women complicit in encouraging gender nonsense and sexual fluidity rhetoric against gay people.

So your arguments against me are:

"I don't like that studies about bisexuals show the evidence of bisexual oppression, and I especially hate it when you point those studies out"

"I don't like it when you call out biphobic lesbians for being biphobic"

"I'm going to I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I because I hate when you point out how misogynistic this space is to bisexual women specifically"

"I hate the idea of bisexuals actually having a voice in LGB spaces and will be biphobic and call it "heteronormativity" because I'm both too stupid to understand that bisexuality is an actual sexuality, and I prefer the status quo where lesbians and gay men are constantly prioritised, and you bisexuals should always be silent and accept absolutely nothing"

"Despite my earlier argument about misogyny, I'm going to unironically primarily blame bisexual women for the TRA shit that started by abusive, homophobic straight men that fetishise lesbians and, to a lesser extent, the homophobic straight women that fetishise gay men, because I'd rather lick straight oppressive and rapist boots and ironically be homophobic to abuse bisexual women than remember that there's no argument from TRAs to be "sexually fluid," but that they want lesbians to stay lesbians and gay men to stay gay men to treat them as objects that validate their TRA gender identities, and I refuse to be honest that there are a lot of different, actual LGB people who have been brainwashed into supporting that, and also, I've decided to conveniently forget that the most well-known face and voice behind so much TRA logic is Judith Butler, an actual lesbian, all because I hate bisexual women the most - but I'm still going to call you the misogynist"

You and I both know that if you or any of the rest of your biphobic, fake-feminist misogynists had any leg to stand on criticising me, you'd rush to do so to crow about how wrong I am.

You biphobes tried it once, where you then suddenly went silent for some reason after I proved that you lied and had no idea how to read scientific papers.

All that you do is try stupid shit like this anonymously in my inbox because you have nothing. You don't have shit to say to me to my face because you don't have any reasonable, opposing arguments, all you have is this desperate rage to tell yourselves that you somehow have an excuse to be biphobic, because you're little more than the kind of scum that I don't think twice about before I scuff it from the edge of my shoe.

Every time that you spew more biphobic hate, I hope it kills you knowing that there's a bisexual woman here smarter than you, who doesn't bend to suck up to you. I hope you can't even look at any kind of reptile without being reminded that you're a hypocritical, anti-feminist piece of shit lying about "prioritising women" on the internet.

Because I know that's what you are, and you know that's what you are.

Fucking. Seethe.

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[pirates-and-posies]

I have never been so flabbergasted by a post until now and I am not going to be as nice as the above folks. There is so much wrong with this kind of mentality and I am very much going to nitpick most of it.

You are not being forced to like any ships. What you are implying with this post is that people are wrong for even so much as using canon material to justify their ships or using it at all. That is, to put it simply, childish at best and straight up cruel to fandom culture overall.

"Leave canon alone" your blog is filled to the brim with both canon and fanon content, you saying that makes you hypocritical. Any form of headcanons or character usage take directly from canon or are inspired by canon because it is the blueprint in the first place. By asking the fandom to "leave canon alone" you are saying there shouldn't be a fandom at all.

"It pushes people away from the community" @/lietpolski said a lot of good points! Especially about that kind of behavior not happening in the recent years, since earlier fandom was definitely hostile about ship wars and it was an unwelcoming environment. You rarely see that anymore.

In fact, do you want to know what drives people away from Hetalia nowadays and keeps them fearful of ridicule? POSTS LIKE THIS. By publicly shaming people for even so much as using canon as inspiration you are barring them from the freedom of expression. By mentioning popular ships and deeming them as problematic you are demonizing the ships from any other interpretation and generalizing shippers.

I'm not even going to entertain what was said about UsUk and Spamano because those shippers have heard enough accusations as is, not every shipper enjoys the problematic aspects behind those ships and typically DO separate from canon just like you say they should. You would know that if you interacted with a majority of those shippers or even looked in the tags.. but instead, you have taken canon material and a hypothetical situation that may or may not have happened and assumed. I have not seen anybody say something so bold on main in YEARS about that kind of Spamano or UsUk content unless you count a small fraction of fics on AO3 and maybe a once in a blue moon post on here. So you're just turning gears at this point. I've seen more hate over Spamano and UsUk being "problematic" than I have actual problematic content from shippers. It's been that way since 2020 since people keep hopping on the hate train.

Funny enough, Spamano is indirectly canon just as much as SuFin or CzechSlovak (those ships aren't fully canon either and are more implied). Spain proposed to Romano and Romano said as long as he gets taken care of he's fine with it. Spain however took it as a rejection. So there's canon. I hope you follow it as much as you say others should.

Hetalia canon isn't some saint, either. I shouldn't even have to explain the implications that both Spain and France are sh/tacons. Himaruya isn't some idol, and neither are his works. By treating canon as some virtuous content you are ignoring a lot of his mistakes and a lot of his misinformation. Are you going to fight those strips? Or just accept them? I don't think you should fight him over it. (Sarcasm).

If you really had nothing against shippers or headcanons you wouldn't have made this post and worded it in such a way that implies people are doing wrong for using canon to create content they enjoy. You are a blog who recently became very popular with polls and fandom engagement. You are very aware of your reach and influence. By posting disheartening shit like this for everybody to see you are collectively affecting people.

We're in 2023. Why the fuck are posts like this still floating around and being used to shame and berate people for doing what they want. You've been in this fandom longer than I have, and yet you lack respect for other people's interpretations and what they do. If it is that much of a problem use your big adult block button. Mute tags. This is an absurd take I'd expect to see from a young teen on TikTok, not a full grown adult. Y'all have got to stop shaming people over HETALIA in 2023. You are pointing one finger at others while 4 more are pointing back at yourself.

Just voicing my opinion here

Something that has always bothered me is when people force their ships into cannon and make up things that are taken out of context or just never happened. I feel this was for all media in general. Not just hetalia but I’m using Hetalia as prime example because I’m a hetalia blog.

Now I’m not saying I don’t like when people ship that is fine and people can of course do whatever they want. I’m talking when they take a screen shot of 2 characters together on screen and say something like “omg they looked at each other they are so in love” like you don’t have to do that. Make up your own storylines leave cannon alone. I especially don’t like it when it’s two characters who clearly dislike each other and it is forced to ‘be so’ if you get what I’m saying. Like if someone says they hate that person maybe just understand that they hate them in cannon but it may not be so in your fannon. It might stem from being Ace but when I enter a fandom and there are already pre established ships that everyone must agree on or face wrath it’s just never good. I have only just started having a ship in hetalia after being in the fandom for almost 10 years and it’s something I have always hated. Not to mention it pushes people away from a community. It’s like we should enjoy the show at face value and then in our fan works do whatever we want. If the creator says ‘you’re reading too much into it it’s just not there.’ then just accept that.

Hetalia for example the only confirmed relationships we have are Sweden & Finland, Austria & Hungary and Czech and Slovakia. Everything other than that is just searching for things that are not there. Like you can say Germany and Italy are in love all you want. But it does not change that in cannon they are just friends. How do I know this? Because the creator said so. But it doesn’t change we can make our own fan works to make it that way. We should leave his material alone there.

Another one I truly cannot stand and have never understood and will never understand and just don’t want to is when people use the source to justify ships like America and England or Spain and Romano. Like if we use the source what we have are Spain and England Raising them from little babies. Like that just gives me the ick and major grooming vibes. I got nothing against these ships in practice but once you start screenshooting a baby America hugging England and saying they are in love. I do not like that. Same with Romano when he literally pisses the bed and runs to ask Spain for help and people say that they’re in love it’s just yucky disgusting. Like how about it’s a little boy who just pissed the bed and we leave it right there. And just do whatever you want outside of cannon but when you use these tools to push your narrative it’s not good like at all. But I’m just saying leave cannon be. We don’t have to search for things in the source material. I personally respect Himas work and when he says “no sorry they’re only friends” I don’t think you can fight him on that. He created it he knows what he’s decided for the characters. But if you want to make your own fictions on the side the sky is of course the limit.

I hope this came across how I wanted it. Again I have nothing against head cannons or shipping in general.

[saizoswifey]

Hello, I hope you're doing well, wifey. I have a question that's been bothering me if you don't mind answering! What's your take on the practice of taking commissions for fanfiction? I've seen people get aggressive enough to threaten to report any fanfic writers who advertise/take commissions. And while I'm aware it goes against the ToS for many companies (but then so does creating fanwork under copyright law smh) I also feel like it's a very slippery slope, seeing how the majority of our fanartists widely rely on fanart commissions alone to support themselves and I feel singling out and judging fanfic authors with far more derision is very hypocritical.

I would really like to hear your thoughts on this, if you do decide to answer. Thank you!

Hello, anon! I am doing well, hope you are too! 

First of all, people get weirdly aggressive when they see fanfic writers opening commissions and I can not, for the life of me, reason as to why this is. Other than the fact that they think writing is a ‘lesser’ craft (compared to digital/traditional art in fandom). Which is bullshit. 

And if you are someone who subscribes for an artist's patreon, has ever paid for an art icon of your favorite character, likes and reblogs fan art etc etc and you attack a writer for opening up commissions you should really take a good look in the mirror. 

I not only think it's acceptable for a writer to take commissions, I actually encourage it. For a few reasons. 

You deserve to be paid for your hard work. Writing is difficult and takes a lot of time. Time you could be spending doing other things. If you are at a point where you’re taking requests often and rearranging your day, losing sleep, in order to fulfill them--it’s time to get paid for your work. 

Taking commissions will make your writing better. If you plan on taking your writing into the professional field at any point, commission work will help you see what it’s like to work with deadlines and crunches as well as taking someone else’s concepts and creating something with it. Even if you don’t plan to move into the professional field, these are all still great skills to have. It can also shed light on areas you’re weak in so you can work on them. Whether that’s certain tropes or genres, or whether your time management needs work. Commissions will help show you things you didn’t even know about your own writing. 

All fanworks are technically against copyright, yes. But fanfiction for the most part does have a safety blanket of ‘fair use’ which allows us to create works with characters as long as it’s transformative and not using any direct quotes from source material etc. The reason why so many people are still creating fanworks is that most of these companies really don’t give a shit. These big statements are an umbrella to cover their ass. They don’t care about someone writing fanfic commissions here and there. They don’t care about someone doing 12 $5 art icons of the characters for some followers. 

What they DO care about is someone making thousands selling a line of sweaters with the characters, or someone plagiarizing the work and putting it out as their own, or selling a book that’s a word for word a copy of the game/media. Stuff like that. They know they can’t stop every single person from creating, and I don’t think they want to. What they want to protect themselves against are people abusing the system.

Here is a take you can read originally here that I really think will help people understand what I mean:

“Think of it like this: You're having a wedding and you hire a band. You pay them to turn up and play your favorite songs because it's YOUR wedding and you want to hear the songs YOU love.

That band isn't breaking the law by playing covers. Nobody's going to refuse to go and see Ed Sheeran because you can just individually pay a cover artist to play Ed Sheeran songs instead.

And it's the same thing with individual commissions for fanfic. Intellectual property laws are there to stop plagiarists from co-opting the income streams of original content creators. For this to have any kind of impact on that creator, it needs to be widespread and easily distributed. Getting paid to write a fanfic for someone else's personal enjoyment doesn't impact the original author's income stream in the slightest.”

If you are hesitant in any way that a particular game or company may not allow you to do a commission, email them. I’ve done it and most of the time they say they don’t care, esp if it is a person-to-person exchange for PERSONAL use and you’re not ripping off the media and trying to sell an ebook out of it or something. Or they may say sure that’s fine as long as the profits are under X$ amount. 

[wrong-tryagain]

I felt like a horrible shit earlier today bc of something on Twitter. This amazing man, Chance Terry, does his thing with his tic toc's, and he revealed the next selected celebrity was gonna be Mark Pellegrino. (Yay I thought).

Now, I didn't know this, and I'm pretty sure poor Chance T. didn't know this either; but there's A LOT of turbulence on the net 'bout Mark P. I had NO idea, and no one I know knew either.

Turns out there's a lot of hate and stuff going 'round directed at M.P. And for this, C.T was overwhelmed with negative comments on wanting to make his vid on MP like he has with others. This made him react with a block on several people till he'd thought it over, he unblocked those people again and made an apology vid... In my opinion, this should not have been necessary. To me, It's not acceptable or okay that so many people can bombard one man and make him so uncomfortable that he feels he has to apologize for his reaction and for something he and many others had no clue was going on which he had nothing to do with. If I don't like people I just keep my distance, I don't tell other people to hate or avoid that person, I keep it simple and just states I don't like the person if I feel like I should say it, but otherwise I try to let people make their own choice to like them if they feel like it. And if he feels like it, C.T should be able to make his harmless vid without being spammed to the point he feels so uncomfortable that it comes to what happened for him- no one should feel like this! That's not okay, man.

I felt like shit to see this, and I felt even more shitty when I commented and honestly not knowing about the "war" against M.P and got hit with a pic of 1 out-of-context-taken piece, out of a whole line of tweets M.P had written. I felt like I was slapped in the face with the tweet, as was some others, and I felt like I was somehow the bad guy, just for liking a person someone else apparently didn't.

I don't feel that's an okay way to do things. I felt so bad for no friggin reason cause this tweet I was hit with wasn't actually that short and didn't actually have the background or the meaning that person thought it did: it was just one tiny piece of a longer string of tweets M.P had made years ago, one piece out of context cause tweet boxes can't contain that much text so he had to make several tweets to make that long comment. (String + full text on tweets, see attached pic's).

Now, I know it's easy to develop very strong opinions on things, even if you only just heard about them. But maybe we should all seriously consider doing a bit more research before thinking about slapping someone else with that. one. piece. of the puzzle we've found. Research so you have the bigger picture before giving others a lesson like a slap-on sticker in the face, choose to be kind even if someone before you wasn't. Allow yourself to rage to air out what you need to air to be okay, but don't DIRECT your rage on people if it can be avoided, especially if they don't deserve it.

Yeah, okay, I know some of this can sound a little hypocritical after my little rant here, but I'm actually not mad at specific or nonspecific people, I'm just generally disappointed.

I like C.T and I like M.P and I like a lot of others; for their work, their personalities, their differences, their insights, their awesome weirdness, or even for simple things like making me smile or laugh even for just a moment. I'd like to keep feeling that I can keep doing that if I feel like it. I'd like to not have someone try to ruin this or try to push their opinions over my head to make me make their opinions mine or whatever else it could be about.

You don't have to do, think or feel like I do; we're all different people, there should be room for differences and space for mistakes, improvement and forgiveness, but that's just my opinion.

I don't know if there's actually anything to any of what's going on about M.P and other people, or if most or all of it is just misunderstandings and misperceptions. But I do know that there's always 2 sides of a coin, it's good to be good to others, and thing's shouldn't be taken out of context.

I am sorry if anyone gets mad or offended by any or all this I've posted here, again I'm not mad, I don't mean any kind of harm by this, I just needed to rant the rage of frustration off of my chest and air it out of my head or I'd go mad. 🤯🤪🤡

Also, I have this tiny hope this won't be perceived negatively, neither the stuff above nor the stuff below.

If you read this, or some of this, and feel like sending me pics or comments telling me to hate on Mark Pellegrino or someone else or the reason you might do it, I have something to ask of you:

Please don't.

I like liking whoever I like for whatever reason I have or don't have.

I just needed to air this to lift the crushing clutter in my headspace, I don't want to add more instead, and I only added the pics so if anyone wants to know what string of tweets I'm ranting 'bout, they can. So please ignore this post if it bugs you, I'm not woth your effort to make me see things the way you might want me to. I like my bubble, please don't try to pop it. 😅🙏

Anyway, that was a lot of ranting. Sorry for that folks, don't think too much of it tho. I hope you're all well and I wish good days to come your way. Don't worry, I'm done now. 😅 Peace out. ✌

[mcrmadness]

Why am I overthinking my Berlin trip now.

For some reason I'm so worried of coming across as a tourist. Which is stupid since I literally AM a tourist going to Berlin. I'm just browsing these booking websites that also show what there is to do, just to get some idea of what I might want to do there. So far I literally don't know anything else than: the Nature History Museum, and the zoo(s??? are there more than one? I still haven't figured out the answer to this.), and then maybe some dä related sightseeing lmao

But besides all this, I just. Have this weird fear that people who live there would look at me like "lol a tourist" or think that's I'm somehow shallow and there just to see the things everyone talks about and nothing else. I'm almost rebelling against the idea of visiting any of THE sightseeing places that are the most famous over there. Just so that people can't think I only see the surface and wouldn't be interested in what lays beneath.

Like I'm not going there just to say "hey I've been to Berlin", I'm going there because I have been dreaming of a trip like this for over 10 years and I want to see what it is like there. The everyday life. Not the tourist life. Not eating in hotels every single day (as if I'd even have money for that) being clueless of anything, but actually taking it as if I'd be living there temporarily just to see if I could one day ACTUALLY live there (or in Germany in general) either temporarily or permanently. And basically I'm going to live there temporarily this time too cos it will be a few weeks and the rented room has its own kitchen and bathroom, just so that I can eat whatever I want and still afford it cos it's always cheaper to cook yourself than buy ready-made food. And food in Germany is cheaper than in Finland so it shouldn't be a big problem when my food bills aren't that huge even here.

But yeah. It's such a weird thing how I simultanously don't give a fuck about what people think about me but also wish no one would perceive me. Maybe it's just me again reflecting things about myself. They say that in other people you're annoyed by things that you don't see in yourself. Maybe it goes the other way around too, I am afraid of coming across as annoying, or even of being hypocritical, if I do the things that normally annoy me when others do those. Take it like this: I live in a tourist city myself. Every summer we have so many tourists from all over the world and I hear so many languages. Or would if I went outside sometimes.

Anyway, when you grow up in a tourist city and the tourist attractions become normal things and normal life for you, you start to get annoyed by tourists. I get their side too, of course it's crazy to see a medieval castle if you've never seen one before, and they have all the right to be excited. And I don't care about that much, but what are the most annoying things are those that you hear every single time. For example, this one summer I was working at a horse stable and I took a train to there every day. And my city is small, so it only had exactly one track. And still does tbh apart from the "station" area which is just. Sand and more tracks that are hardly ever used. But because Finland has just one train company, they use the same announcements everywhere and the announcement always includes the train's name/route, time and which track it will depart.

So in my city the announcement always said "leaves from the track, 1" because it still needs to say that. And almost every single morning I had to hear someone, who's not from the city, say "track 1" and laugh. So much so that I was already waiting for someone to say that cos someone always did. I know they have no idea they were not the first person to say that, but as a citizen I hoped I had had earplugs for those mornings because it was SO annoying. So I'm kinda worried that I'd be in that "lol track 1!" spot in Berlin. Where people live, so they must hear tourists saying all kinds of stupid shit, and the tourists don't have any idea of someone else, or tens, or hundreds or even thousands of other people, saying the exact same thing before them. What if I also make a comment and someone who's lived in Berlin for a long time overhears and thinks "not this shit again".

Like, in the end it dosn't even mean anything. They probably won't think out loud. It won't affect me, I don't care even if they said it out loud. But somehow my brain still is capable of overthinking this tonight.

Or maybe it comes from my childhood/teenage traumas related to my peers, and my old social phobia. If I go outside to take photos, I usually look for a place where I'm completely alone or I have someone else with me, otherwise I feel like I'm doing illegal stuff even if I'm just taking photos. I don't know why would it be so bad to take photos. But somehow I just. Can't focus on that if people walk by. I just feel like they're gonna say I am not allowed to do that. To take photos of a lake or sunset in my city and country??? Yeah I don't know why my brain does that since it's literally not illegal to walk outside on public spaces taking photos. Hell, you can even take photos with other people in it and you are allowed to post them because it's a public space. So why would it be reprehensible if I am taking photos and not even of any human subject, but just of the nature?

Because of the same reason I haven't started Geocaching yet either. It was recommended to me, and it sounds like fun, but I'm just. So self-aware. Worried of raising questions. Why is that person there in the bushes? Or if it's someone who knows what Geocaching is - what if I'm doing it wrong? And they think I'm a loser. But even if so, what does it matter? Or is it my rejection sensitive dysphoria? The idea of being judged so strong that it triggers my RSD even when it's just a scenario that hasn't even happened yet. And which most likely won't even happen! But still I just sit here overthinking _everything. No wonder I have so much time to overthink when I don't DO anything instead of keeping overthinking about those things.