#and 'cant keep my eyes from' has me thinking of nightmares

[im-sorry-what-ii]

Currently being so emotional over Mav and pink floyds Learning to fly

[simplyreveries]

I ADORE YOUR WRITING!!

what about a reader who’s unknowingly flirting with the twst wonderland cast (specifically savanclaw, octanaville and diasomnia) because of culture differences and species differences?

e.g petting their ears, giving them gifts, smiling with teeth (bc for moray eels that’s how they mate 👀)

OR fem reader who has her period and some of the twst students can smell it I LITERALLY HAD A NIGHTMARE ABOUT THIS 😭😭😭😭

OMLL I APPRECIATE ITTT!!! sorry for the wait!!! i chose some from each dorm bc of my character limit btw!!

azul ashengrotto

despite how much azul continues to do his best to learn about life on land… relationships are certainly difficult for him to understand sometimes considering how long he has spent his life in the sea and though there are many similarities between merpeople… there are still some differences. once azul is rather close to you he does become unintentionally— clingy with you. (when you two officially get together that's another story) but he has a habit of wanting to lean close to you or have a hand on you in some way, like on the small of your back when showing you something in the mostro lounge.

so needless to say, he is in love with any sort of touch from you he takes that as some sort of hope and sign that you reciprocate how he feels haha. jade and floyd tease him ALL the time about it especially when he was struggling to keep his cool-headed composure after you once gave him a hug after he did something to help you once.

like I've said azul really doesn't think about it or even try to be this way around you he just does aljdfajdkhf. he’ll feel like a smitten fool as he sits in the vip lounge as he's doing papers and just think about how you playfully linked your arm around his to bring him somewhere. small things like that are actually quite big to him when it comes down to the differences.

jade leech

he's aware you probably don't know that you're unknowingly flirting with him, but he finds it amusing and plays along with you, nevertheless. he thinks it's cute that you don't know and all the more enticing, you’ll find him chuckling, trying to hide his grin with his gloved hand “oh my, I didn't know you liked me that much fufu” he’d say. you can't help but feel confused as to what he finds so interesting… like you literally just yawned.

it'll take him a while to actually tell you what it means since he finds the obliviousness to be quite cute. you only put two and two together when he tells floyd about what you did right in front of him and the two laugh about it. now you've got floyd teasing u about it..

like azul he is a little more affectionate just in a different more. in a less obvious fashion, though there definitely have been a few occasions where he likes to bring your hand to his lips and see your reaction, he finds it so amusing. he always has his teethy grin plastered on his face.

leona kingscholar

he hates the way he can always tell when you're wearing cologne or perfume and he hates that he likes it as well, he may or may not be a bit addicted to your scent. he literally can tell if you're near just because he knows the damn fragrance you use.

if you two are particuarly close... like him falling asleep around you and such. if you happen to pet his head and his ears, he immediately shoots you this look then mumbles something before being too tired to do anything about it or give you some retort. he just lets it happen... he does enjoy it anyway. slowly he kinda doesnt realize how clingy he can get with you because of it. he becomes a little needy and wanting more attention from you. he cant help it.... i mean you basically just showed him that you're fine with it anyways.

leona seems to be someone who can get pretty possessive, unintentionally too over you. kind of territorial, like if you're someone he has eyes for then he doesn't expect others to really get in the way of that.

malleus draonica

malleus is not only a fae but a pretty sheltered one too, I’d think he’d take almost anything from you as a sign of you being completely infatuated with him as he is with you. you could offer split your ice cream or invite him out somewhere, show any sort of interest in him as he talks about gargoyles as he’s doing single club activities. the one time you asked curiously and wanted to touch his horns, he’d be searching for the loveliest jewel to bestow you for your wedding day.

speaking of jewels… he gifts to you a lot especially after you give him anything first (it could be a cool rock you found) and he’d be so smitten and glad to reciprocate that by giving you earrings, rings, necklaces etc. and when you accept them even though you're not exactly fully understanding why he takes it even more as a sign of you accepting his advances.

after taking any of your little acts of being somewhat kind to him and he’s already so deeply into you, lilia would certainly be someone who hears just all about it. i think he would only feel happy for malleus, as it appears he must’ve found the right one. he is just supportive of malleus and is simply overjoyed to know he has some little human that makes him so happy.

lilia vanrouge

he has lived long enough and in different places to understands human courting's and more so than someone like malleus. he knows how different it is, trust me he is fully aware, but he thinks it's amusing. lilia pretends to take it the wrong way and watch you get all confused, when he's just being playful.

just cant help that he finds it so adorable when you unknowingly show him affections as a fae would in his culture. even just being slightly affectionate with him is enough to have him giggling and warning you to be careful to what fae you do that to. they do tend to take very kindly towards any affections and gifts!

lilia will straight up tell you though too, you could gift him and give him something neat you found or made, and he'd look up at you with a stupid grin like "kfufu... i accept your love, dear" NO???. he still holds onto anything from you with the utmost joy.

[ivysprophecy]

sharpest tools

warnings: dual POV HAHA so im not saying i know jj or that this is how he thinks or whatever im simply doing it for a change of pace and writing style, wanted to experiment a little so by all means if this isnt your thing pls keep scrolling. mentions of extreme anxiety, mentions of chronic pain meds, over the counter meds

word count: 2299

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masterlist

summary: after your fight blows out of proportion both you and jj are left wondering what just happened? and the poor pogues are caught in the crossfires trying to delegate and reunite the two idiots. because neither of them are the sharpest tools in the shed.

jj's pov

"jj... jj wake up," my eyes open enough to see someone crouching in front of me.

why the hell is sarah waking me up?

i move to sit up forgetting i slept in the hammock last night so i swing and struggle for a second before gaining my balance back.

"whats up?"

she hands me a water and some aspirin she snagged from the kitchen, from the looks of it no one else is awake. "just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"i appreciate it sar but im good. i swear," i take a swig of the water before swallowing the pain killers, "theres absolutely nothing wrong," because really i dont know that the fuck is wrong.

"im guessing you dont wanna talk about what happened last night?"

"honest to god sarah im not even sure what happened- that girl kissed me and before i could get her off me y/n swooped in and exploded."

sarah sits criss cross on the grass next to the hammock looking over at me with an odd look on her face.

"so you didnt mean to kiss her?"

"no- sarah i didnt kiss that girl i swear on my life. she was asking me a question about directions and all of a sudden shes got me pinned against the rocks. honest," i hold my hands up in surrender feeling interrogated, "i'd never do that to y/n"

"im not saying you would- its just that we didnt know until last night so... speaking of that. what the fuck was that about?"

everyone has so many questions and honestly i do too, i dont know half of the answers. feels like i wiped out and i cant find the shore.

i just wish she'd talk to me. like im sure if shed just let me get two words in i could reassure her but i dont know what shes thinking right now and its killing me.

i hate it. i hate that i caused this.

but in my defense it kinda feels like she blew it way out of proportion if she had just let me explain this whole thing would be okay.

"i just... i dont know sar- she had all this anxiety about relationships and whatever- i dont really get it but she said she wanted to keep it between the two of us. who was i to tell her no ya know? i just wanna be with her."

sarah just kinda looks at me with wide eyes.

"what?"

"youre like- down bad arent you? youre totally whipped."

"i wouldnt say that-" she interrupts me.

"jj maybanks got a girlfriend... this is headline news," she chuckles making me roll my eyes. i thought we were having a serious conversation, not that i try to have those often but i could use her advice on the subject.

"sarah seriously- what the hell do i do? i barely know what happened last night how am i supposed to fix what i dont know is fucked up?"

"well from the tid bit you told me? sounds like shes massively overthinking and just saw the wrong thing at the wrong time, and it just so happened to fit into her warped little nightmare."

what the fuck did she just say?

"so youre saying this is just all in her head?"

"no- well- kind of... from the sounds of it shes got a lot of anxiety and trust issues. shes probably trying to self sabotage the relationship."

i let out a frustrated sigh, "can you not talk like a therapist for a minute?"

"jj what im saying is you both dont know how to handle the situation. you need to talk to each other, have a real discussion not just scream in each others faces like last night."

"i tried to talk to her! she wouldnt listen!"

sarah lets out a laugh letting her head hang as her body shook from the laughter. pushing some hair out of her face she turns her body to face me more head on.

"jj- it was the heat of the moment and she was scared and upset. of course she wasnt going to listen... now that shes had time to cool off? you might have a better shot."

"but what if she doesnt believe me?" look i dont like admitting that i get a little insecure sometimes, but id rather do that than fuck my relationship with y/n.

because god ive been trying for so long i dont know what im gonna do if i lose her.

i really need to see her. "is she awake?"

"not yet i dont think... why? what are you gonna do?" i stand up running my hands through my untamed hair trying to wake up a little bit.

"im gonna try to make it up to her- make sure shes up by the time i get home. 'kay?"

"home? what the fuck are you talking about jj? where are you going?" sarah stands up as she sees me walking towards my bike. her voice raising so it will carry enough for me to hear.

"dont worry bout it!"

with those final words i take off down the dirt road...

readers pov

ugh. my head is pounding. i need excedrin.

god last night was a horrible combination for my chronic migraines.

i walk into the kitchen and see john b and pope huddled in the corner making shushing noises before turning around to face me.

"there she is!" i shove my hand in john bs face to shut him up.

"its nine am. wheres the medicine cabinet my head is throbbing." poor sweet pope hands me the bottle of pills and a cold water. god bless him. "thank you," i let out a whine as i tilt my head back to take the medicine. "sorry ive got a killer migraine."

"oh-" they exchange glances with one another before pope speaks up in a hushed tone, "go lay down- let the meds work. and drink your water."

i squint at him, seeing how nervous he is. he wants to say something. they both do.

is this headache bearable enough to get this conversation over with? technically yes. should i use it as an excuse to ignore everything? probably not...

"its okay. we can talk. i can tell you want to."

"thank god" jb expresses before pope hits him in the chest, which leads to john b throwing his arms up in defense "what? you said we needed to talk to her!"

"yea but not force her to!"

"guys- cmon its fine. really. i know its a lot so lets just get this over with. yes jj and i had been dating for a month. yes we didnt tell anyone on purpose, i didnt want the pressure. i dont know if he kissed that girl or not but i freaked out and just wanted to be alone. i didnt mean to hurt his feelings but i was obviously upset so i said things i didnt mean. there. happy?"

both the boys look at me with bug eyes, "a month?!" they exclaim together.

"my god- yes. a month. its really not a big deal-"

"yes it is y/n- thats a huge step for you and jj. i thought the whole casual thing would flame out. this is a huge commitment for the both of you," pope reminds me, as if i wasnt aware. i

i was simply trying to down play it to give myself a reason to care less, seems like thats not happening any time soon.

"what are you my doctor?"

"i think what pope is trying to say is... were a little worried about you y/n/n... what happened last night- you kinda flew off the handle."

i whip my head around so fast i get dizzy, grabbing the counter for stability.

"excuse me? i flew off the handle? jj was the one kissing other girls-"

"y/n i think deep down you know thats not true-"

"no- no you dont get to tell me im crazy and then tell me what im thinking- this is my relationship. this is exactly why i didnt wanna tell everyone because i knew youd all stick your noses in it. what happened is between me and jj. no one else."

pope reaches out to steady me seeing me sway a little, "woah- okay maybe we should put a pause in this convo-"

"im fine pope. i just dont see how this is anyones business."

"we're not saying its our business y/n/n, were just worried about you. youre not acting like yourself. you seem anxious, paranoid, you know- just not normal," pope pleaded with me, making me sit on one of the dining chairs.

"right-" john be interjected, "all were trying to point out is we all know jj would never ever put his whatever you wanna call it with you in jeopardy. hes whipped. theres no way he went and kissed another girl."

i see where theyre coming from. i really do. i want to believe it but there are too many things playing in my head that tell me otherwise.

on one hand, i know jj would never hurt me. not on purpose, and to cheat is definitely with a purpose. hes always reassured me that its just me and since we got serious he hasnt given me a reason to doubt him.

but on the other... just seeing her all over him is so hard to forget. it all happened so fast, i dont know how long theyd been kissing for, maybe i got there just as it happened or maybe itd been going on for a while i have no idea. too many factors.

"y/n if you listen to literally anything we say let it be that we know jj loves you," i look up at the curly haired boy whos basically grown to be my brother.

"thats a big word for elmo-"

pope runs a hand over his face with a sigh, "for the love of god be serious for a minute," 'theyre made for each other' he thinks to himself. "just hear him out. please. for some reason he loves you a lot-"

"hey!"

"-and if were speaking freely youre the one whos put all of this at stake because all the rest of know jj didnt kiss that girl. youre the only one who has doubts. so talk to him. please. were begging you."

"... 'we're?' youve all talked about this?"

"of course we have- it all unraveled in front of us what else did you expect? by the way i was supposed to tell you sarah is siked for you- maybe nows not the time," john be stops himself scratching the back of his head.

honestly it gets a giggle out of me.

"okay.. yea. ill talk to him. where is he? is he here?"

pope looks out the window in the front yard, where he can see sarah peeking in before moving out os sight to pretend she wasnt listening in.

"he was here- he slept outside last night. wanted to give you space since you both normally share the couch."

oh... thats- sweet.

fuck. maybe i am screwing all of this up.

"can i come in now??" i hear sarah yell from the other side of the door.

"get in here!" i raise my voice a little testing my headache, which ironically has somehow gotten a little better.

sarah walks through the door. letting out a rather dramatic sigh, "finally. sorry- jj got some big idea and left on his bike a few minutes ago. said to have y'n awake by the time he gets back so... i dont really know what to do now."

john b looks at his wife and i notice... its like how jj looks at me.

fuck.

fuck fuck fuck.

"do you know where he went??" i look at sarah with a begging tone and pleading tone.

she shakes her head "sorry honey bun," she teases with a smile. "but since weve got time... john b, pope, and i will go get some breakfast while we wait for jj to get back. you stay here- give you two some space to work it all out."

"what? no its fine- really you dont have to go..."

sarah walks up to me grabbing me by the shoulder with some stupid fucking grin like shes all knowing, "girl. youre gonna be fine. youll talk, kiss, and make up and be the happiest couple ever. it will be sickening, trust me id know. relax. it will be fine. you and jj will be able to work this out, im sure."

and with that john b grabs the keys to the twinkie heading out the door following wifes orders, with pope following in suit with an apologetic shrug.

sarah gives me a teasing kiss on the forehead, "well be back soon sweetie be safe."

"oh fuck off- bring back bacon and coffee please," she salutes me before walking outside with the boys.

"no one ever said she was the sharpest tool in the shed," john b quips as he steps into the twinkie with a sigh before turning the ignition.

pope hops in the back letting out a small laugh "yea thats for sure."

"neither of them are," sarah rebuts looking over at john b as they all laugh. "theyre both as sharp as a dull spoon"

"what the fuck did you just say?" jb looks over at her with a quizzical look on his face.

"just drive routledge."

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

i’m wondering… would baby every ask hwa to hurt one of the members for her? like as a way to prove to the members that he doesn’t care for them the way they care for him (cause yk helping him keep her hostage and all that). would he actually do it? what would their reactions be?? these are my 3am thoughts sorry for bothering you with them

➯a/n: wwwwaaaaaah ok please don't ever apologize for sending me your thoughts especially when they're this intriguing ??!? I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT THAT buuuut now that i haaaaave ... i don't think baby would ever ASK hwa to hurt someone, but she might trick him into doing it in the hopes that the members will come to their senses and help. but since they've already been through it with him i don't think it would change much. i couldnt stop myself and wrote an entire chapter about it you KNOW I CANT HELP MYSELF WHEN IT COMES TO THIS AU 😫

Nothing Fucks With My Baby

❥Yandere Park Seonghwa x fem reader

Baby Series !

♡'･ᴗ･'♡genre: yandere, angst, smidge of fluff

✫彡wordcount: 4.7k

♫"Nothing fucks with my baby. Nothing, nothing, nothing." Hozier, NFWMB♫ Baby Playlist ♫

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: beginnings of stockholm syndrome, trauma bonding and trauma-collective bonding, violence and threats (not towards reader), only briefly proof read

✩index: little space- a regressed state of mind where someone feels like a child. hyung - a close male friend older than you, used by other males.

➯disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and does NOT represent a healthy little and caregiver relationship, or a healthy relationship of any kind. no healthy relationships at all actually, they're all fucked up

MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

     "Rise and shine," Seonghwa's voice yanks you from your peaceful escape.

    You were having such wonderful dreams, too.

    "Time to get up, Baby." Well... all dreams must come to an end. Welcome back to the nightmare of real life. 

    "No..." You grumble sleepily as he lifts you from the warmth of the blankets, but you have long given up any physical attempts to stop him.

    It's been a month and a half since you'd been 'brought home', as he would call it. You'd made two escape attempts, one the morning after; and one only a week ago that you were still sporting injuries from. Not from trying to climb out the window, no — from him.

    "Good morning, boys," he hums as he sets you at your designated seat at the table. Like he has for six weeks.

    San and Mingi mumble their groggy good mornings. Just like they have for forty two days.

    You were starting to feel like you were stuck in a never ending loop.

    'Remember your manners'. "Mornin'."

   Mingi clears his throat, looking down at his bowl. 'Never look My Baby in the eyes.'

    San rubs his face with a groan, taking a singular peek at you while Seonghwa gets you both breakfast. He forces himself to do so at least once a day as a reminder of what he's apart of.

    "Can I stay home today?" You try to rub the sleep from your eyes. "My foot kept me up last night." 

    Ah, yes. Your foot. Which he had undoubtedly fractured after he found you trying to climb down the side of the building with nothing but a sheet.

    He had offered you a sleeping pill at some point during the night, maybe the third time your fidgeting had woken him up. You declined. Quickly and without hesitation.

    "No, sorry, Baby," he kisses your head as he slides a bowl of oatmeal in front of you, "eat up."

    You bite your tongue for a moment. You want to curse at him so badly. "Thank you, Mommy."

    The morning continues as it always does.

    If you'd been well behaved, by Seonghwa's standards, you got to watch television until his roommates were done using the bathroom to get ready for the day. But you had that privilege revoked at the moment; so you were left in silence on the couch, trying to fall back asleep to no avail.

    Then it was your turn to get ready. Wash your face, do your skincare, brush your teeth; all of which was done with Seonghwa. You were lucky he left you to do your business on your own while he gathered both of your outfits — especially after pulling a stunt like you had.

    You let him dress you without a fight, you had given up after the fifth morning of giving it all your strength and still ending up where he wanted you. He was gentle now, he had no reason to be rough when you didn't put up a fight.

    "Mommy?" You call quietly as he carefully unwraps your foot. The swelling was almost completely gone, but you were still an entirely different shade on the top of your foot where he had smashed it.

    You're lucky he didn't break any bones. You're lucky it's only fractures and bruises. You're lucky he's taking such good care of it so it might heal properly. You're lucky. You're lucky. That's what your brain keeps telling you.

    "Yes, My Baby?" He hums as he moves your foot to get a better look at it, making you hiss. "Shhhh, it's okay," he rubs your leg softly, and you hate the way it calms you down. You hate the way it works. "What were you going to ask?"

    "Uhm," you sniff back your unshed tears and try to refocus your mind. It's hard to these days. You feel stuck in a place somewhere between little space and your grown mind. You know you need to keep fighting, keep your head on straight. But all of the stress combined with Seonghwa's nurturing actions makes your mind want to regress. You find yourself having more and more trouble holding it back. "Can I bring my blanket with us today?"

   It had been two weeks since they'd returned to their regular lives, with you in tow. Everyday; you were forced to watch them pretend everything was normal while your entire life had been stolen from you.

    "Your blanket?" He hums as he finishes wrapping your foot back up, "of course, you can."

    That was something he was truthful about. He'd never take away your comfort items. He wrapped your blanket around you when you cried and had your favorite stuffed animal in your arms the second he got home with it. Even when other privileges were taken because of bad behavior, he never crossed that line. Maybe because he knows that they make you feel little. And you're so much sweeter when you're little.

   "C'mon, let's go get it."

   It's not like you have much say in the matter. He insisted on carrying you everywhere even before your foot was essentially useless.

    Now, though, you have no choice but to rely on him.

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

   "Morning, little bear," Jongho smiles to you lightly as he enters the practice room.

    "Hi, big bear." You smile back. It's tired and sad. But it's genuine. He's the only one who's brave enough to meet your eyes when Seonghwa isn't around. The rest are too shameful. All you get is brief, accidental eye contact. Even from Mingi. "For me?" You perk up just a smidge as you tilt your head, seeing the book in his hands.

   He brings you things. He has been for about four weeks. Snacks, mostly, but also the occasional book or fidget toy. "Yup, who else?"

   He crouches down by the corner you always find yourself in, out of sight of the camera even when it's not on. You've got your blanket around your shoulders, Hwa's hoodie bundled up between your head and the wall. "What is it?"

    He turns the book to you and lets you take it, biting his tongue as he wants to say how you might could find comfort in the main character.

   "Anne of Green Gables?"

    "Mhm. I think you'll like it."

  The both of you quickly look away from each others eyes as you hear Seonghwa coming down the hallway with Hongjoong.

    You inspect the book closely as he stands up, reading the description on the back. "Thanks, big bear."

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

    You try to read. You try to shut out all the noise and movement around you like you always do.

   But something about today makes it impossible. Something about today has you mad.

    Maybe your lack of sleep and your still aching foot and the fact that you've managed to slip into little space again despite your best efforts.

    You don't want to be here anymore. You want to go back to the apartment and curl up and sleep.

   Seonghwa looks really busy learning a dance with Yunho. In fact, everyone looks busy besides Hongjoong, who's monitoring them from the side.

     You meet his eyes for the briefest second before you both quickly look away.

   You don't like him. You don't like any of them, really — but Hongjoong you detest.

   Seonghwa only has a few pictures in the room, and one is of him and Hongjoong. He's clearly his best friend, and from what little information you've managed to gather from San and Mingi; he's the one who's responsible for the idea of not immediately overpowering Hwa and calling the police.

    You hate him. But you hate being here right now even more.

    You don't interrupt them while they're busy. Seonghwa said you didn't have to feel bad if you needed anything, but you still kept to yourself until he was done for the day. You barely speak in the practice room. Only when you're spoken to.

   "Mommy?"

Until today.

    Everyone in the room stops. Like they've heard a ghost. Like they've managed to tune you out of their peripheral vision and pretend you don't exist.

   Even Seonghwa looks a bit discombobulated, but he comes to quickly, "yes, Baby?"

    "Can I go home, please?"

    The members hearts are thudding out of their chests. Like they've missed a step while going down some stairs. "Baby, I thought we were past this-"

    "No, I wanna go home. To your room. I don't feel good," you pout up at him, your eyes soft and begging.

   "H-home? To-" He's stuttering, glitching, "to the apartment?" He's finally made progress with you. The first few times you begged for home, you meant your home.

   "Uh," you nod, lifting your arms up and making grabby hands at him.

   "Oh, My Baby," he coos, immediately running over to you and picking you up. "Oh, I know you don't feel good, doll. I'll finish up as quickly as I can and we can go home."

    "Hongjoong can take me," you whisper as you wrap your arms around his neck, nuzzling into his shoulder to further convince him with your cuteness. "Hims not busy, right?"

   "Wh-" He hesitates, looking to the leader with a questioning gaze.

   "I don't know if that's such a good idea-" Hongjoong begins. He's only ever been with you alone once, and even then he kept his distance.

    "Please, I don't feel good..." You whine into Hwa's shirt, sniffling. 

   Over your weeks together, they've come to learn a lot about you and your little space. Their hyung explained it as; you don't just act like a child, you feel and think like one. And that makes their hearts break even more when they looked at you.

    "Please, Joong? She'll fall right asleep, she didn't sleep good last night," he pleads with the hesitant man, "please, I trust you with her. I know you don't want to be invol-"

   "Fine." He sighs, taking a look at your foot before opening his arms. "I'll take her."

    "Thank you, Joong," he smiles as he hands you over, helping his friend get a good hold on you. "Be good, okay? I'll be home as soon as possible. I love you, Baby." He kisses your head, and you almost find yourself leaning into it.

  'Remember your manners.' "Love you, Mommy."

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

    Hongjoong sits you down on the edge of Seonghwa's bed with a small groan, giving you a once over as you set the book down on the nightstand.

   "Do- uhm," he scratches his head, "did you need anything?"

    "Mm-mm," you shake your head. You bite your lip for a second before you look up, catching his eyes. This time you don't look away. "Thank you."

    He just about looks away before he forces himself to stop. "Yeah." He nods, and he doesn't dare say 'you're welcome' because he feels like you have nothing to be thanking him for in the first place.

   "I'll be in the living room if you need anything." He holds in a sigh as he turns and heads to the door, just about to close it when he hears you.

   "Hey, Hongjoong."

    "Uh?" He opens it back up enough to see you.

    "Don't get mad but... why are you doing this? Helping him..." He didn't know what he was expecting but it wasn't that. He doesn't have an answer for that. Not for a good minute. "Hongjoong?"

    He lets out a shaky breath, and looks around the room as he speaks. "Uhm... He's my best friend. He's looked out for me, for all of us, for a long time. Despite everything, I think he's still that man. I'm t- I'm truly sorry for you, (Y/n). But I can't stand to lose him. I care about him too much."

    You sniff, curling up in your blanket, "you think he cares about you the same way? If the roles were reversed, would he, y'know?"

   "I do. He cares about us, I know he does. He has a deep heart, but he... he also has a troubled mind."

    You only nod in response, your regressed mind taking in his words slowly.

    You don't get the chance to see the tears welling up in his eyes as he turns back, speaking softly before closing the door, "I'll let you rest."

Only, you don't rest. You're so tired and grumpy, but your brain won't stop its incessant thoughts.

They really think he's still a good guy? They think he cares about them like they care about him? They care enough to put their entire lives on the line and hold someone hostage, to corrupt their company with hush money. He doesn't care about anyone like that — he isn't capable of it.

He only cares about himself and you. Making sure you don't leave him.

Maybe... if you can show them that...

You sit up quickly with your blanket, and yank your favorite stuffed animal from its place on the bed. You swing your feet over the edge and hesitate as you look down; your bandage peeking at you over the edge of your sock.

Your feet haven't held your weight since that night.

But you want them to know. You need them to know. You need them to come to their senses.

You set your comfort items down beside you and take in a sharp breath before slowly lowering your feet all the way. Pain isn't just inevitable — it's immediate and agonizing.

You fist the neatly laid out duvet as you shiver, and make yourself stand. You only put pressure on the tips of your toes as you hobble over to the closet, but it's still sending stabbing pains all the way up your leg.

You lean against the wall and sigh as you take the pressure off your injured foot, giving yourself only a moment of rest before you slooooowly slide the closet door open.

You take the stuffed animal from your arm and falter before you can throw it up on the shelf you can't reach. You pout down at it. "Sorry, Scoups," you kiss its forehead before chucking it onto the high shelf. "Mommy will get you later," you whisper while throwing your blanket up to join it.

You leave it open as you stumble back to the bed, falling back with a sigh.

They have to know that he's not the same man they used to love.

As the pain in your foot subsides into a dull ache, you release your emotions and cry yourself to sleep.

He'll be pissed when you tell him Hongjoong took your comfort items.

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

"Home!" Seonghwa calls out as he enters the apartment with San and Mingi right behind him. He stops only to remove his shoes before he's quickly making his way into the living room.

"Is she asleep?" He asks Hongjoong, who's watching the news with a blank look.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. She should be."

"She didn't give you any trouble, did she?"

"No, she went straight to sleep, I haven't heard a peep from her," he yawns, turning to ask the others about practice as Seonghwa hurries down the hall.

"Baby?" He knocks on the door softly before he pushes it open. Usually when he wakes you up from a nap, you're clinging to your stuffed raccoon even as he pulls you up.

"Mmf," you groan sluggishly as you snuggle closer to his pillow.

It's nowhere to be seen. Neither is your blanket. You're curled up on the covers without one.

"Baby-ya," he frowns as he pets your head gently, your face is puffy like you'd been crying.

"Mommy-ya," you mimic him with a sniff, and he internally gushes at how soft you are when you're sleepy for a moment.

    "Sweetheart, where's your Scoups?" He asks confusedly as he rubs his thumb on your cheek.

   You blink a few times. "Hongjoongie hid him."

   "What?!" He hollers, making you jump. He looks around quickly and his eyes land on the open closet, sure enough he spots your comfort items on the shelf. "Hongjoong-ah!!"

    You hug his pillow tighter, hiding your face in it with only your eyes peeking out as you see Hongjoong and Mingi come running. "What's wrong?"

    Mingi comes to you immediately, lifting you up as you cling to Hwa's pillow. He slides into the bed with you, sitting up with you in his lap. He whispers as he watches Seonghwa closely in the corner of his eye, "are you okay?"

    "Yah," Seonghwa is seething as he grabs the stuffed raccoon, pointing at Hongjoong accusingly with it, "why did you take her stuffie?"

    It takes Hongjoong a good few seconds to catch up, his lips parted with confusion. "What? I didn't-"

    "You know how attached she is to it!"

    "Hyung, I didn't-"

    "Don't 'Hyung' me! I thought I could trust you to take care of her!"

     "Seonghwa, seriously! I didn't take her stupid raccoon! Why would I?!"

     Seonghwa tosses you the stuffed animal, and you catch it quickly; hugging it tightly as you curl up in Mingi's arms with wide eyes.

     "You made My Baby cry," he pushes back his own tears, "how could you? The one fucking time-"

    "I d- oh, my God! She put it up there," Hongjoong points to you, and Seonghwa slaps his hand down roughly.

"Point at her one more time," he dares him.

    "She can't even walk, Hongjoong," Mingi comes to your defense, rubbing your arm soothingly.

    "Are- are you guys serious?!" He yelps as Seonghwa grabs his arm. He looks up at him with fearful eyes. "Hyung, think about this-" He gasps as a harsh backhand comes across his cheek.

    You whimper at the sound, keeping your eyes on Mingi's fingers as they anxiously fidget with your sleeve.

     "(Y/n), tell him the truth! Please!"

     You must be a better person than Hongjoong, because you really want to help him. Even though he isn't feeling a fraction of the fear or pain or betrayal that you have. But you can't move. You feel Seonghwa's gaze on you. You know it's him. He'd be even madder if you told him the truth now.

     "(Y/n)!!"

     "Don't yell at her," Seonghwa shoves him to the floor, and his head collides with the hardwood; another gasp of pain leaving him. "Don't you fucking yell at her or I will rip your tongue out, do you hear me?"

    You hide your face in Mingi's chest, holding back your sobs. They only come out in little whines and sniffs. You've gotten good at hiding them.

    He wraps his arms around your shoulders and tucks your head under his chin, shielding you from the scene as best he can. "Shhhh, it's okay, shortcake."

     "H-hyung, please... I didn't take her stuffed animal," Hongjoong shakes his head quickly. How has his only Hyung gone from never laying a hand on him to shoving him to the ground and threatening to take his tongue in only two months? "I swear, I swear on everything I love. I sat her down and-" Oh, wow.

    "And?" Seonghwa urges, glaring daggers at his best friend.

    Holy shit. For someone who's stuck in the mindset of a child for a majority of the time, you're smart. "Hey, this is a misunderstanding," he whispers, groaning as he slowly sits up. He brings his hand to his head and grimaces as he feels a tickle of blood.

    "How in the world is t-"

    "Baby," he looks towards you, and you freeze up in Mingi's arms. He's never called you that. Some of the members always did. Some of them didn't call you anything at all. He always called you by your name.

    You peek out from Mingi's chest, still holding the stuffed raccoon tightly. You don't look in his eyes, you don't dare when Seonghwa is visibly upset. You only look in his direction to let him know you hear him.

     "Don't you remember? You said you wanted to play hide and seek with Scoups, but you fell asleep before we got to seek... remember?" He knows that you know it's bullshit. He knows you know that he knows you wanted him to feel your pain. To come to the realization that Seonghwa wasn't above hurting him. And he can only hope you'll play along and end this — because you clearly feel bad.

    "Oh... oh, I'm so sorry, Hongjoongie! I was so tired I forgot!"

    Seonghwa breathes a sigh of relief, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Jesus..."

    You feel Mingi physically relax, his arms loosening around you, "thank goodness..."

   "I'm so sorry, Hongjoongie," you whisper more sincerely, and you know he knows your apology is for intentionally setting him up.

    You both know.

     "Shit, I'm sorry, Joong," Seonghwa quickly helps the man up, leading him to the bed, "I'm so sorry... L-let me get the first aid." He's gone, but the tense charge in the air isn't.

    You wiggle out of Mingi's arms and over to Hongjoong, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as tightly as you can. "Please, forgive me. Please, don't-"

    "It's okay," he cuts you off, "I understand. I understand." It's the first time he's willing touched you other than to carry you, as he sets his hand on your arm. "I'm sorry, (Y/n)... I truly am." Mingi tilts his head, straining to hear the last part that he whispers. "I'm stuck with you."

    Seonghwa pauses in the doorway as he takes in the scene, his heart breaking for a moment as he sees the pain he's putting the most precious people in his life through. He shoves that feeling deep down.

    "Let me help you, Hongjoong."

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

    "Switch!" Seonghwa calls out from the kitchen as his timer goes off, quickly restarting it before going back to the food.

     In the living room, you and Hongjoong are trading an ice pack back and forth every ten minutes. "Here go, Joonie," you yawn as you lift it from the top of your pink fluffy sock.

   "Thank you," he takes it quickly and holds it to his cheek, his other hand holding a few Uno cards.

    "Draw four, it's blue now," Mingi smirks as he looks towards San.

     "Man, you're hiding those under your butt or something! That's the fifth one this game," he grumbles as he picks up four more cards and stuffs them into his over flowing hand. "Your turn, peanut."

     The four of you are sat around the sofa table on the floor, playing a seemingly never ending game of Uno.

    "Blueeeee?" You look at your hand with narrowed eyes. "Wham!" You slap down a draw four, "green!"

   "Wha- you little traitor, I thought we were a team," Hongjoong jokes as he picks up his cards.

    "Greeeeeen?" Mingi scrunches up his nose.

    "Please, don't do it-" San is cut off by Mingi flicking a plus four onto the table.

     "Wham!"

    "No way, you guys are sliding them under the table or something, this is getting ridiculous!"

   Seonghwa laughs to himself as he listens to the game go on. Your childish 'nuh-uh!' ringing out in the apartment followed by San's playful mimicking of it.

"Reverse, reverse~!"

   "Hey, check his sweat pants, San! He's scratching suspiciously."

     "Scratching suspiciously? Really? You're that sore of a loser?"

He wanders into the room and settles himself between you and Hongjoong, taking a look at both of your cards. "Baby-ya, play this one," he taps the reverse in your hand after he sees Hongjoong's plus four.

"Hey, no way, Hyung," he pouts at the older member, "I was just about to get my revenge."

Mingi, now at the receiving end of Hongjoongs cards, looks up baffled. "Yah... I'm about to win and you're turning his evil onto me?"

Seonghwa shakes his head with a soft laugh, "you guys take this way too seriously."

"Of course we do, it's the semi-finals!" You hum as you wiggle your feet, "one!" You slap down another card, leaving you with one.

"Ehhh!" Mingi makes a buzzer sound, tapping the deck quickly, "you didn't say 'uno', draw two."

"I said one!"

"It's not called 'one', it's 'uno'! It's a Spanish game," he continues tapping the deck as you go back and forth.

From Hwa's other side, Hongjoong groans quietly and rubs his forehead.

"Hey, c'mere," he whispers, sitting up on his knees.

San joins in on discussing (re: arguing over) the rules as Hongjoong looks up curiously, "hm?" Seonghwa wordless slides behind him, gently placing his fingertips on his head. "Ahh," he sighs as he relaxes into his careful touches.

He continues massaging his temples lightly as the game goes on, watching as you begrudgingly pick up two cards. "Fiddle sticks..." They chuckle as you frown at your hand.

"I believe in you, doll," Seonghwa beams as you peek at him with a tiny smile.

It continues just like that for a few more minutes until he stands, softly kissing the back of Hongjoong's head and giving yours a pat as he returns to the kitchen.

"Does your head hurt really bad, Joonie?" He hears you whisper.

"It's not so bad," he gives you a tight lipped smile that doesn't meet his eyes, meeting your gaze for only a second while Hwa is in the other room. "What about your foot?"

You know he's referring to the fact that you must have put pressure on it to throw your raccoon, who's still on your lap at this very moment. "Not so bad," you look at him before —

    "Food's ready!" Seonghwa speaks up as he sets the table, watching in the corner of his eye as you set your stuffed animal on the couch; giving it a kiss to its fluffy forehead.

When you open up your arms, Mingi quickly picks you up and hugs you close as he carries you to the table.

   "Smells nummy!" You chirp as you slump into your seat. "Thank you, Mommy," you lean up and kiss his cheek as he finishes filling all of your bowls.

    "You're welcome, Baby," he smiles, giving you a gentle kiss that you lean into. You don't even notice that you do.

   As you all settle down, Seonghwa looks to Hongjoong again. "Hey," he hums, leaning forward, "let me see it."

   "Huh?" His brows crease for a second, "oh." He moves the ice pack and looks to the side. "Is it still red?"

    "It's gone down a lot," Mingi notes as he sneaks an extra cracker onto your plate while you're distracted. He knows you love them, but you never ask for theirs.

     "It feels a lot better already," he sighs, setting down the by-now room temperature pack.

    "I'm really sorry, Hongjoong... I d- there's really no excuse. I just can't let anyone mess with her, you know?"

    "It's okay, Hyung. It was just a misunderstanding." Hongjoong glances towards you, and the way you fiddle with your spoon — afraid he'll tell on you. "It happens."

    Seonghwa taps his fingers against the table and exhales softly while looking between you. "Yeah," he nods, "just a misunderstanding... I'm still sorry I got so rough. I just get defensive of her. Right, angel?"

    You lean into his soft touch as he hums —

    "Nothing fucks with My Baby."

❝Nothing Fucks With My Baby❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

[gyaru-tau]

FINALLY FINISHED MY QPHIL 3.0 DESIGN HOORAY (cant wait to. redesign it again in like 3 months.) (CHECK UNDER THE CUT FOR MY SILLY DESIGN NOTES!!)

I think I said this before but i so. SO BADLY wanted him to have a sleep theme since I always loved how his presence on the island was kinda up in the air. Is it a dream? Is it not? When he goes between the island and hardcore is that change really happening? Who knows.

The idea of making his usual outfit more like a housecoat was super appealing to me, so I opted for this open housecoat look with really heavy frills which were super fun to figure out, and I knew from pretty early on that I wanted to give him a quilt pattern SOMEWHERE on his design, so I thought the inside of the coat would do nicely for a sorta "default state". It also meant I could attribute meaning to the symbols and colours I used. wink nudge.

He has a more subtle angel theme, like with the mobile on his walking stick being a halo with the wing placement further emphasizing this, as well as just his generally lighter colour scheme. When I say sleep was his theme I almost more-so imagine it as like. The feeling of waking up in the morning where you're mostly refreshed but still a LITTLE drowsy. Lots of very spring-y, morning colours.

Just some other quick notes, I always really liked the mod in the server where you could have the crows perch on your shoulder and follow cuz of the lantern, so I thought it'd be fun if I made it so brian just straight up WAS the lantern. So I made him look like one of those wall outlet nightlights!! The backpack being kinda cat shaped was COMPLETELY unintentional but a very welcome result. Missa backpack is real.

As for the alternate outfits, I have a bolas one, as well as an ender king one since I deemed those two the most important. For the ender king I weirdly don't have many notes, like it's fairly straightforward (Save for the elephant in the room but now I'm gonna keep my secrets on why that's a thing). The Quilt design is supposed to be a lighter, easier-on-the-eyes version of the no texture pattern, and I imagine that all the goop and gunk on Phil is hidden under the coat. I imagine it'd look fairly similar to canon so just like. imagine it for now. Might draw it one day. MAYBE. There's some tiny additional colour symbolism but I'll hold my tongue on that and let you guys draw your own conclusions there. I WILL say, however, that instead of his theme being sleep, his theme is "nightmare" (and also kinda sleepwalking since both fit).

The Bolas design was SUPER fun to work with. For starters I wanted the three designs to be in three different states. One with the coat, one with the coat reversed, and one without the coat entirely. Since I wanted to do the checker pattern thing with the possession design, having the sleeveless bolas design worked really well for the shape I landed on, even if it wasn't conventional. and SPEAKING of non-conventional design choices, I decided to go against the usual plague doctor + gas mask fusion design. Which might be controversial... But god. The moment I thought of his mask being a falconry hood, the idea just wouldn't leave my mind. Because of this, the full mask is kinda separated into two parts. The eye mask which kinda also mirrors his usual sleep mask, and the gas mask itself (I kept it in a beak shape since it'd feel odd if i made it any other shape for phil, lol). When designing the whole thing I kept thinking about more apocalypse setting clothing. Like mad max. Or the one gag from that one spongebob movie. Lots of leather. And of course, to match the other sleep themes, the Bolas outfit's theme is "fever dream", although its a bit more subtle. It's easily the weirdest design, The pops of green were simultaneously in reference to the friendship emerald... As well as... Well, the green chain right below the chain on the sickness themed design was probably the most tasteful way I could've chosen to get across vomit without it being too on the nose. (also sidenote, I had a few friends compare bolas phil to... a fly. Which wasn't intentional but it's kinda funny that the guy designed after fever dreams looks a little bit like a bug.) Ok thats it for design commentary I'm gonna go to bedge nyow.

[gothicflowers]

Listen, Alex has been consuming my brain for weeks. It’s a whole issue (it’s not an issue, I love it really). So can I get something that’s maybe a little darker with him? Doesn’t have to be too dark, just maybe showing that side that isn’t the golden retriever we all love. Maybe a little more of that something that makes him such a good CIA operative.

Something protective/possessive perhaps? Can be NSFW or not, totally up to you.

Also, I hope you’re doing well! I know what it’s like to just need a distraction and get out of your head for a bit 💙

(MDNI +18)

Sorry this took me forever but I’ve been fighting waves of ADHD paralysis that even my meds cant fight. And I’m doing a little better, not fully healthy but I’m getting there❤️

ALEX KELLER IS A GOLDEN RETRIEVER.

At least that’s what he lets you see.

Because he doesn’t want you to know how dark and dirty he can be. Your family is fully convinced that he is the perfect man, which he truly is. Always getting you flowers and planning dates or small getaways. You clearly won the lottery with Alex. You see Alex as a night in shining armor, a kiss from the stars.

But Alex sees you as the dusk sky, beautiful colors that light up the sky before the light disappears. Soft delicate hands to hold, no blood or dirt under your nails. Your voice is the crackling of a fireplace in deep December snow that warms his soul. You’re the flower that blooms from the spring frost after he tills the ground with his bare hands.

Alex has fought for too long and shed too much blood in the name of justice and peace for anything to take away the one pure thing the universe owes him. You.

But sometimes dispute all his training and good intentions you see small glimmers of what Alex could be if he didn’t keep himself in check. Sometimes it’s in the way you end up bent over the counter with his fingers laced tightly in your hair as he rants on about this little bitchy attitude you’ve had since you woke up. He knows you love it and it feeds a dark pit of control that burns for you. Every thrust making you gasp. All Alex can grunt out of his gritting teeth is MINE. MINE. MINE. And is he gonna let you come? No. Not unless your pretty little eyes are welling with lust and love filled tears begging to cum. He’ll eventually let go of your hair and hold you by the jaw and let you confess that you just needed some dick, and he’s the only one that can satisfy your craving. Such a sweet thing, such perfection, so delicate.

Alex doesn’t mind letting other guys how possessive he can get. He didn’t like that guy that keep trying to dance with you at the bar. It’s surely a coincidence that guy slipped and hit his head on the sink. Other times it’s simply staring them down with a look that even Simon wouldn’t mess with.

When your ex tried to weasel their way back into your heart they abruptly stopped. They sent flowers, chocolates, jewelry, everything they could think of to win you back. You figured they finally got the message that you didn’t want them. But in reality your ex came home to a large envelope packed full of evidence of everything they’ve ever done, things you never knew about. Paired with a simple note “leave what is mine alone or else”.

Alex never wants you to know about what he truly does. Would you ever hold his hand again knowing how blood stained they are? Would those soft lips still say I love you? Despite his pure intentions he knows not all of his orders he’s been given were good. So he just tells you he works in surveillance. It eases your mind thinking he’s hiding on a roof somewhere, not down in a gunfight.

When he comes home after an extended time away you’re distraught with worry that he lost his leg. You will die never knowing the truth about what went down that day.

It’s not always that he wants to keep you in the dark, but sometimes it’s just truly classified information that you can’t know. And shouldn’t, it would give you nightmares. This man could rewrite history books if he shared what he knows.

Alex keeps hidden security cameras around the house. You don’t even realize they’re installed. He’s got extensive knowledge of technology and he used it to his advantage. He’s very good about keeping you a secret from his job but sometimes on those late nights he just needs to see you sleeping peacefully at home. And yes there is a tracker on your phone. Can’t lose track of his sweet little angel.

Everyone highly underestimates him. Too soft hearted, too eager, too naïve. The way his eyes darken and chest heaves as he stands covered in someone else’s blood shocks a room of experienced soldiers. A version of a man they rarely see, a version of a man you don’t know. Yet that version of him is who checks the house when he hear something at night. The version who corrects people who speak to you rudely. The version that growls in your ear from behind as your bodies tangle. The version who got rid of all of your problems. The Alex that will pull the earth apart and unleash hell to create a heaven on earth for you alone.

Alex is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

[dontsupressthejess]

Lions and Music

MV/LN x Reader

Just something floating in my head tonight. Yn is a singer/actress who's laptop with unreleased songs is stolen. The songs are about people in her life. Past. Present and foreseeable future?

See what happens when they begin to get leaked and her fans and haters get an even closer look at her life through her music.

Also of course it’s Formula1 related! :)

Well here we go…..

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

Celebrity GossipMag

Breaking: Singer/Actress Yn/Ln’s home has been burglarized while young IT girl away was filming for new Netflix show.

A source close to the young singer says the home was broken into in the early hours of this morning. Luckily no one was in the home at the time of the robbery but sadly valuables were taken from the home.

Among these items were jewelry, designer handbags, cash and various electronics. But the source says the main concern is… a missing laptop. Not just any laptop, you know the one. Y/n mentioned it in a recent interview "It's almost like my diary, but it’s songs ive written for different people at different times in my life. Some are happy, some are sad, some are dirty and some are just plain mean. No ones’s spared.”Quote from recent Vogue Jan. 2024 issue).

If you follow her music you know the singer often writes about life experiences and sometimes her personal relationships (she's had plenty! Some more controversial then others.) We have to wonder who made the cut? Who could have a song or two on this laptop? Could it be old beau Drew Starkey? Joe Kerry? Rumored older man Sebastian Stan among others(bad girl) or could it be her most recent rumored man? A certain papaya wearing Formula 1 Driver? The two were crossing paths quite often last year but we could never confirm the gossip.

Our source tells us Yn/Ln's team is in shambles. Unreleased music is potentially out there that the singer/actress seems to have had no intention of releasing. How bad can it be y/n?

Our team will be covering this story and providing more details as we receive them. Let’s hope our "close source" stays close.

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

The headlines were every where, one of her songs got leaked.

"This. Is. A. Fucking. Nightmare!" Y/n said into her phone. She wasn't even at home yet but from what she was told - the house was trashed. She had let her team sort it, to gutted to see the violation her personal space had went through. She had to sell the place now.

Walking in to her hotel room she switched the tv on and threw herself on the couch.

"Why does crap like this happen to me!" she continued.

"You have to relax, i cant imagine what you’re feeling right now, But you cant keep stressing over this." her manager Neal said.

She groaned.

“You know the media is gonna says its about him! It's gonna bring all his fangirls back to my socials. My Instagram comments were finally easing up with the death threats. The guy tore me apart, but im the one who got the hate. Now he's gonna be on cloud fucking nine, thinking I’m stuck on him. Everyone will assume it’s about him. I was done, I moved on, had my single time and got back out there. I have the bestest Boyfriend ever, It's going great and now this happens. Poor guy is gonna be scared away. Thank god he's busy at the moment" She said watching the cars on the tv.

She couldn't help what she wrote - it just happened. It was the only way to lay feelings to rest at times. Most of her songs were flirty, sexy fun, but the last ones..

Her last relationship had really put her through it. It started out like magic, then it slowly turned into something dark. The media and his fans started catching wind of it and just turned it into something twisted. He soon didn't want to be seen with her, she was hidden away in a corner, watching from the outside as he kept the playboy image "he wasn't ready to make it official, but he only had eyes for you"

She never used to be the girl that would let a guy walk all over her, but i guess every girl has that one person that puts you under their spell.

She was now seeing someone knew, boy did it take some convincing on his part at first. The man was persistent. Since she first met him she always found him attractive, and his confidence when it came to pursing her was hot as hell.

She kept him at arms length for months, she didn't want to start anything but the man would not leave her alone, and soon enough she was talking to him every day and night. Both of them secretly flying to each other’s homes for friendly visits. But his persistence paid off and once it did, the man could get her on her back, her knees, on the counter, bent over a car… you get the picture. They were electric. She did still have some lingering insecurities because of her ex, waiting for something to ruin her happiness again. But its been almost a year of secrecy and they were it. She knew it.

They were making plans together, how to ease into a more public relationship. He would definitely put her more in the spotlight. He was kind of a big deal.

The drama would be there just because of who they were to each other, but now he would hear not only things written about himself, but about her ex.

"Y/n im sure he will understand. I think if you just talk to him, give the guy a little warning on what else could come. Maybe go visit? You've wrapped up filming with OBX, we cleared your schedule for the next couple weeks. He's been wanting you to go visit. Go" Neal said.

"I don- -" she started.

"Go! If the worse happens, and it all comes out. It wont be as bad as you think. Your fans have always wanted more music from you anyway. We can spin this to your favor. Just go and spend time with that filthy man of yours, and dont worry about his reaction. I've heard some of the songs you wrote about him. He will NOT hate it. No guy would, not that the guy needs it but it will be an ego boost…..I just want your two hands on me at all times baby, if y- -

"STOOOOP" she shouted in embarrassment. Her cheeks flushing. Hearing her manager singing her lyrics back to her was not on her bingo card this year.

He chuckles "Im just trying to make my point, He wont have a thing to worry about if any of songs about him come out. The other guy however…yikes."

Y/n sighed.

"Seeing him would be nice” she said.

"It's already booked babe" he said.

You smiled, so like Neal to know you were gonna cave.

"Guess i got some packing to do.. send me the details, and we'll talk later about how we could spin this."

LEAKED SONG INCOMING

Mustang Baby - Yn/Ln

I just wanna be that little Mustang I can make your heart race, baby (baby, baby) Kiss me doin' 90 on the highway You can make a good girl crazy (crazy, crazy)

You're such a cowboy, baby And I've never been anywhere I like the gold on your tooth And you like the wind in my hair I've never tasted freedom You live so wild and free You lit a fire, somethin' wild in me

I just wanna be that little Mustang I can make your heart race, baby (baby, baby) Kiss me doin' 90 on the highway You can make a good girl crazy (crazy, crazy) Mustang, Mustang, Mustang baby Good girl, good girl, good girl, crazy I just wanna be that little Mustang Be your little Mustang, baby

I just wanna drive a little Mustang I want her to feel it in her bones We get loud, no, she don't wanna slow dance And I think that it's pretty when she moans Ridin' shotgun, put your hands up Fuck you on the 101, mm-mm Fuck me on the 101, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah

I just wanna be that little Mustang I can make your heart race, baby (baby, baby) Kiss me doin' 90 on the highway You can make a good girl crazy (crazy, crazy) Mustang, Mustang, Mustang baby Good girl, good girl, good girl, crazy I just wanna be that little Mustang Be your little Mustang, baby

Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby Mustang, baby, Mustang, Mustang Mustang, baby, baby, baby

Say I'm your favorite cowgirl And I'll let you ride it all night Show me how bad you want it (ooh, oh) From sunset to the sunrise Ridin' shotgun with my hands up Fuck me on the 101 ('01), ah-ah Fuck me on the 101, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah

I just wanna be that little Mustang I can make your heart race, baby (baby, baby) Kiss me doin' 90 on the highway You can make a good girl crazy (crazy, crazy) Mustang, Mustang, Mustang baby Good girl, good girl, good girl, crazy I just wanna be that little Mustang Be your little Mustang, baby Baby, baby, baby

————————-

CelebGoss - It's happened! The first leak of many we are sure, has come out! Yn/Ln why were you keeping this from us, and it looks like we got a featured artist as well on this one! Who do we think this is about? We have a obvious guess but what do you think? Have a listen at the link below and drop your thoughts in the comments" 432,967 likes 324,987 comments

@landoswhoreis: Sooo desperate to get back with lando, its embarrassing. @Y/nsNumber1: Hate that it came out without her putting it out herself. But damn do it love it! My Hot AF Queen. Go off! @quadfour: I'd Fk to this. @user50384: Are we sure this about Lando? @formulahottie: @user50384 Who else would it be about? @nor1sslover: @lando kissing her doing 90 on the highway is dangerous sir! @papayapiastri: @nor1sslover tagging him is just messy lol @anoyngirl: this dropped 4 minutes ago, the amount of likes is crazy @Ferraifwend1655: Mustang? girl its a Mclaren. @user8970: "say im your favorite cowgirl.. i'll let you ride it all night"!! GAWWD! @Fewnorrisell: if the rumors were true, he's regretting letting her go after hearing this! @landfandom4: @Fewnorrisell Maybe they're together still! We never got confirmation if they were together or not. Only rumors!

view all comments

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

Maybe another part soon! Also disclaimer: I don’t own the song! Nessa Barrett does!!

[romana-after-dark]

Our Gentle Sins: Part 7

Dark!Logan Howlett x fem!reader

My god this header is ass but I was an emo kid what can I say

Series Masterlist : Main Masterlist : Logan Masterlist

Spotify Playlist

Follow @romana-updates and click follow, join my tumblr community or ask to join the tag list to keep up!

Buy Me A Coffee : Kofi : Go Fund Me

Chapter summary: Past. Logan has a nightmare. Present. You have a nightmare.

Warnings: This fic features non con, pregnancy, and themes of religous trauma. I will not be saying everything that happens to warm you, by clicking read more you are prepared for extremely dark themes and that you at 18+. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

EXTRA WARNING!!!!: Pretty graphic. Again, I cant and wont tag everything but I dont wanna throw you off.

2.3 words

Before

“Logan?”

Your voice broke through the noise, the sound of machine guns and children screaming and a bomb dropped in the distance but he heard you. Everything was disjointed, every war, just or unjust, melded into others. Nazi’s shot by WWI German troops, a confederate soldier beheading an English man, Indigenous tribes fighting alongside terrorists, a confusing group to say the least. Still, he heard you.

“Logan!”

You, standing in the middle of it all in a modest pink dress. You, pristine as if you were teaching a class but surrounded by blood and bodies and murdered innocents. You, who when he blinked, was covered in blood but not from bullets or beyonets or gunned up airplanes, but slashed up like Freddy Kruger was hopping his way into his dream. You were holding your stomach, scrambling to keep your guts inside yourself. He was trying to reach you, but hands pulled him back. He couldn’t see faces, but Logan knew they were the hands of all those he’d killed. In front of him, separating Logan from you now, were other. Scott, Charles, Jean, everyone who’d told him to stay away from you.

They aren’t helping you, they aren’t even trying. Instead, they just admonish Logan.

“See what you've done?” Jean asks, and Logan tries to push through.

“She’s bleeding! She needs help!” He screams and screams, watching as you fall to your knees, blood beginning to spill out your mouth. “I need to help her!”

Charles now, voice calm. “I think you’ve done enough.”

“No! I didn’t hurt her! I’d never hurt her! Please, Dolly! Dolly I’m coming!”

Scott, for some reason without his glasses. “We knew this would happen, we knew you couldn’t be trusted, Logan.”

“I wouldn’t hurt her! PLEASE! Just- Let me- DOLLY!!!”

You’ve collapsed, convulsing on the ground as you shout his name over and over again. Logan screams for you, using all his strength to try and get away, to help you, get you out of the war zone and to help, but the weight of the hands around him are too much. They pull and grasp and voices moan in agony behind him.

They pull him away from you.

“LOGAN! WAKE UP!”

Then his eyes are open, claws out and he’s scanning his dark bedroom for the danger, the danger he knows has to be there because why else would he be so fucking scared? But then he turns and he sees you, standing in the corner with your arms crossed over yourself and and he thinks back to the scene in his head where you were dying and Logan almost runs to you- but when he moves, he sees you flinch.

There is a long, long moment where the only thing breaking the silence were your ragged breaths and the pounding of blood in his ears, eyes inter looked in mutual fear. Logan looked at you like you were a spooked deer, even though it was him that felt an unyielding terror inside. You stood in PJ’s, and as his eyes adjusted he took in the new side of you, clothing revealing more than skin you didn’t show. You slept in a dress. Not pants and a top, not a dress meaning lingerie or something cute. Logan thinks for a moment of those outfits worn on the Amazonian Islands in the 70’s Wonder Woman show, how it was just lingerie. No, nothing like that. You just wore a dress, something akin to what he’d seen women wear more than 100 years ago, something a grandma would wear now, a skirt that went to the mid-shin.

Even in the privacy of your own bedroom, you weren’t free from the rhetoric. He bet you wore cotton panties.

You were the first to speak, voice soft and careful as if you weren’t the one shaking. “Are you… okay?”

You, sweet beautiful you, were concerned about him. He’d had a nightmare, because of course he had, of course he could never be free from all the before… but he was okay. 

“Yeah, I uh…” Logan ran a finger over his face, shaking off the tremors. “Nightmare.”

A little nod from your head, then your voice, barely audible. “I get them too.”

Of course you did. Of course a sweet wonderful little doll like you was plagued like this. 

Logan relaxes, shoulders slumping and he slides his legs over the side of the bed before burying his face in his hands. “I’ll kill him, you know.” He mumbles. “Just tell me anything, anything about him and I can track him down. Anything about you.”

The name you used wasn’t a real name. You’d chosen from some woman in the bible you admired, a jewish woman who used her beauty to seduce an enemy and slayed him. Judith was the subject of two Artemisia Gentileschi paintings, hence his familiarity. Logan wasn’t an art guy, but being the history teacher he’d had to brush up on his renaissance art. Your last name was fake too, something you and Charles drummed up and probably had some other religious significance, although he wasn’t religious enough to know. Maybe he’d ask Kurt. 

It’d all been faked and slapped on some ID’s no one would ever be able to tell weren’t real. Your new identity was sealed. Even if you left the school, you could go on. Charles had even faked an education degree and high school diploma when you promised to not use it to do anything you weren’t qualified for. Charles didn’t want you to be trapped at the school, and since the school had been your only option at the time, you’d been given a freedom to leave. This was more than your husband had ever done, keeping you trapped and helpless, not even knowing how to drive. 

All he needed was your real name, and he could track your husband down and bring his head on a platter like John the Baptist. Was that a Gentileschi painting, or was that Caravagio?

“I know.” Your voice breaks him out of his thoughts like you had done with his nightmare. “Which is why I won’t tell you.”

When Logan looks up, he sees you still standing so far away from him, and chuckles dryly. “You scared of me now, doll face?”

You shake your head no, but it’s not as confident as he’d have liked.

“I’m in my pajamas. You’re shirtless in shorts. There’s a bed.”

His eyebrows rose at that. “You think I’d do something to you?”

This time, when you shake your head, it’s much firmer. “No. Absolutely not. It’s just… I was always taught to never be in a man’s bedroom… or I might bring something on myself, or it would lead me to sin, or, or there’s something about the appearance of sin… I dunno, it’s just considered improper.”

He let the words settle into his skin. Sometimes, loving you was like the women he’d loved, bedded, courted so long ago. Such a different time, a different world. Yet you were still so different. Back then, women were just waiting for someone to untether them, give them an out, run away. They craved that freedom, the liberty sex brings. Logan didn’t know what you craved. There was nothing inside you that said you wanted to scream, to be unhinged, to let go. You weren’t a bubble waiting to pop, you were simply happy to be as you were, dresses and all.

“I understand, Dolly. Thank you for uh, for waking me. But you should really just let me be, next time.” Flashes of Rogue all bloodied in his arms flattered across Logan’s memory. Kayla, scratched up before his bones became the weapon they are now.  “I might accidentally hurt you.”

Something he doesn’t recognize flashes on your face before you give a little nod. “Are you alright? I can go make you some tea?”

Part of Logan wanted to say yes, because he loved when you made him tea, but you looked tired. “No, thank you doll. I’m alright. Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting weird.”

“Thanks kinda my thing, isn’t it?” You smile just a little, making a bit of a face as you walk sideways towards the door. “Little homeschooled teen marriage weirdo?”

Logan’s eyes narrowed at your weird behavior, not turning your back to him, but he decided he didn’t need to question your every move.

“You’re not a weirdo. You’re one of the coolest people I know.”

You laugh at that, eyes bright as always, and slide out the door.

After

You scream. And scream. And scream, over and over again. There’s blood everywhere. Logan tore everyone you loved apart; your students, your fellow teachers, Scott, Jean, Kurt, Emma, Charles. Every single one was hacked to pieces. Logan pinned you to the ground, pounding into your cunt as if you were just a lifeless doll. You didn’t fight. You didn’t scream. Were you screaming before? You can’t remember now.

Lifeless you lay, head lulled to the side as Logan fucked you. There was blood coming out of your cunt, but you didn’t know how you knew that. Spread and prone and stretched you took what Logan gave you, his soft words grunting in your ear.

“Isn’t this better, doll? Not fighting? See, I can make it good for you. I can make you wet. You’re so wet for me, my little submissive dolly.” It wasn’t blood between your legs anymore, it was cum as an uncomfortable orgasm swelled through your body. Still, ever so still, you never moved. Remy lay next to you, unrecognizable outside of intuition as he’s just a pile of slashed flesh now.

“My perfect, lifeless doll.” You’re pliant in his hands.

Suddenly Scott is in front of you, a bodiless head , eyes gouged out of his face, nothing but bloody pits. Still he speaks.

“You did this.”

No. No you’d never-

“You’re dangerous. Violence follows you. You’re a grenade.”

It wasn’t you! It was Logan!

“It hasn’t always been Logan. But it’s always been you. You are the common denominator.”

You blink and it’s no longer the friends and family and children of your new life. It’s your mom and dad, siblings, in laws, everyone who meant something to you before. 

It’s your husband between your legs now, and you think there is nothing possible worse than this, nothing could be worse than him being back. Everything you went through, it’s never going to end. You’re dying. Maybe you’re dead because you’re watching from above now, your body on the ground and cold.

Your husband strokes your lifeless, compliant form. “The perfect wife.”

You’re back in your body, your mother lying next to you now. “Why couldn’t you just be good?”

You wake up to Remy shaking you.

His voice is an immediate calm, a recognition that he isn’t dead, he’s not a mass of gore on the floor while you’re being raped, killed for something you’ve done that you didn’t even know what. He’s alive.

“Remy!” You grab his shirt, pulling him to you and you don’t care that he’s a man half on your bed. He’s alive. Remy has often woken you from nightmares, his room right next to yours. Remy was closer, but Logan could hear you from further. Still, Remy was a light sleeper, so he usually got to you before Logan was aware.

Once you let go, Remy took several steps back, right up against the wall. This was something Remy did to prevent further anxiety. You trusted Remy fully, you never got an inkling that he wanted to fuck you or was playing the long game, just that he wanted to help you.

“They are getting worse again, pistache. It’s more often than when you first came here.”

You pull your blanket close to your chest even though you were fully covered. Remy slept in boxers, but he wore a robe around himself, something he bought after the first time he helped you through a nightmare. He came in in just his underwear and you were only three days into joining the school. Needless to say, seeing a man almost naked had scared the ever living hell out of you, so Remy bought a robe to cover up without having to waste time dressing. He was thoughtful like that. 

“I know, I know. I just… stress… I got the prom coming up, been a lot.”

Remy frowned, “Planning a high school dance shouldn’t trigger nightmares. Is this because of what happened at the ball?”

You wince. That memory was a lot, something that you didn’t like to think about. You doubted Scott did either, and if his jaw was ever the same. 

You took to long to answer, looking down at your blanket, so Remy continued. “I know that you and Logan have had… a falling out.” Your heart clenches at the words, heat flushing over your skin. Your blanket hid what you had been under loose clothing; a bump. You tuck your knees up so the blanket downs fall over your stomach. “I think he can fix it. You and him… well, I thought you’d get along before you ever met him. I brought your down stairs that first day because I’d seen him walking in, sent him to the store with you, sent him to have lunch… I think you two suit each other.” Remy gives you a smile. “You soften him. He protects you. It’s good for you both. Whatever it is, I think you can fix it. That’s all I’ll say.”

Remy stayed true to his word, not continuing about it… but you couldn’t help thinking how horrified he’d be if he found out what Logan did to you. He’s still gone, coming back any day now. Remy thought you softened him, and you suppose you did. For a while. 

You let Remy get you a snack, a little sweet treat to get the sick taste out of your mouth and cheer you up. He was kind, attentive, but the memory of him as nothing but a pile of slosh haunted you. Logan was dangerous. You were already worried about Scott prying where he didn’t need to, worrying about him getting himself killed, but now you think about Remy. What will he do when he learned Logan raped a baby into you?

Logan returns to his dolly next chapter! Next chapter we have 2 dances. Past, a ball Dolly put on because of the pride and prejuduce unit for her lit class, and presant she put on a sort of prom for the teenagers.

That chapter is where we get another HUGE chunk of dolly's past! the final bombwill be nearer to the end. I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts on what you think dollys secrets are!!! There was a hint this chapter!

Ideas for a poll is always welcome! as are songs for the playlist

I need to make a better cover pic now that ive gotten a feel for the series and its themes

If you've read Rooms on Fire or The Wrong Way, you know I tend to write a similar type for these dark series. Dolly, Little one and Madonna are all girly, quieter, feminine, submissive types. I hope that those whove read it all, because i know some people have read most things i put out, don find dolly boring. I think all three are unique in their own ways, and Dolly has her own things too, even if she's quiet and nervous

I love all yall and am so thankful for the support ive gotten here!!!!!

please remember, comments keep me writing. It doesnt have to be a compiment, just something that shows engagment like "remy is a good friend"

@multiversed-daydreamer @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @del-ightfulling @miraclesabound @hindi-si-ikay @samsamsantos @madamerubrum @shybluebirdninja a @hornystan @rogueinmymind @accountforreading123 @yawnetu @princessanglophile @and-claudia @new-genesis1000 @teaganthemorningstar @oldloganslittleslut @zaggprincess2 @bugsinmyeyez @groundclueless @cosmolight

[httpiastri]

paul aron's hair throughout the 2024 season 💁‍♂️

(also known as pt2 of jack being obsessed with a certain blonde curly-haired boy)

hello everyone and happy new year! i hope your 2024 has been lovely and that 2025 provides you with tons of joy and love. 💗

i'm back again with yet another paul hair appreciation post! i loved making it last year and so ive been thinking about it all year and collecting pics 🥰 last year i remember having to search really hard fo some of the pics – two weekends i even had only three pics 😭 but this year i've really had to kill my darlings because i've deleted so so many pics that i like just bcs i didn't want to make this too overwhelming... and i still ended up over 300 pictures..... 😶

last two things before we get started: the wind is my best friend nowadays because of how it affects his hair. so many pics here of his hair in all kinds of directions (and esp the gifs).... anD if you see any pic here that you want in it's original form, lmk and i'll post it for you!! i will keep the pics saved on my phone for a few days before i delete them to make space lol.

soooo hope you enjoy!! and check out last year's edition hereee if you want. 💗

‎‎ ‎

bahrain

some pics from before the season started (testing & media days) and some from the first weekend! very messy at times, esp after sessions, but very cute. feels like maybe this was before he started caring a lot abt his hair and how it looks even during the race weekends? if you get what i mean? like some weekends it looks a bit too perfect that it feels like he made sure it looked like that… maybe? anyways very cute!

‎‎ ‎

jeddah

pretty long hair? very cute!! also looked pretty light despite how dark it was there when they drove during the evening etc. the middle row from the prema lap from when he was talking to ollie 🫶

‎

melbourne

shorter than in jeddah so a little haircut? looks pretty thin also?? hmm but very curly 🥰 love the middle and most right pics in the top row also lmao, love mid-workout expressions 😁

‎

formula e

pics both from his tests and his race round in fe! his hair looks so fried in the top left pic eye 😭 it was very fly-y this weekend? wanted to escape everywhere all the time so i had tons of pics of little strands everywhere! curls go crazy 🥹

‎

imola

looks very dark here actually!! and kinda short also? love the little tips of the curls like that too aaaaa 😭 and the ways some certain individual curls are so spirally and just……. aaaaaa cute

‎

monaco

love the sight of his hair poking out of his cap/balaclava etc (first three pics) aaaaaa !!!! and his hair in the belvita pic 😭 looks like he has little horns :(( so messy and cute. and the post-race interview? it was high at the back that it looked like one of those old hairstyles??? idk what its called but i think you understand

‎

barcelona

also very dark despite the sun! 😯 and not super fluffy or cute etc but still yk very good hair. 😌

‎

spielberg

TOP LEFT PIC. THE LITTLE 🌱. I CANNOT TAKE THIS GUYS I JUST CANT. his hair after the sprint race was truly something new also…. i mean yes it was very warm so obvs very sweaty but damn it looks so crazy 😭 (stupidly enough i didnt put them together, but it's the top four pics on the right side and bottom two on the left side)

‎

silverstone

bad weekend race-wise but amaaazinnggggg weekend hair-wise. so so long curls, so curly, so poofy!! actually probably my favorite hair weekend. just so adorable. never needed to brush my fingers through his locks this much before….

‎

hungaroring

pole aron >>> everything 🥰 dont have a lot to say, i just adore the post-race messiness and esp in combination with his pink cute cheeks? also maybe i shouldnt comment his looks since this is a hair post buttt the middle pic on the left side? baby baby baby???? (and the middle middle pic still gives me nightmares ngl)

‎

spa

probably my second fave hair weekend? so so light!!! actually managed to sneak a pic i took of him into this 🥺 (the quality is terrible BUT i took it!! yay!!!!) i actually never watched this episode of "chasing the dream" until last night (was heartbroken bcs of the feature 🥲) and oh my goD it was such a good paul episode? so so many amazing paul shots?? of his hair yes but just him in general and his cute face and his smile?? his pretty baby blue eyes?!?!?!!!??!!!!! insane. will be watching it every night to have happy sweet dreams 🥰

‎

summer break

cowboy paul 🤠 hair looked a lot lighter after his italy visit but idk how much time he actually spent in the sun? considering his fair northern european skin? (like im also northern european so i know it's hard to keep your hair in the sun to bleach it and still keep your skin safe 🥲) it was SO hard to make this collage without spending five hours just staring at his abs, ngl.

‎

monza

why do the top four pics give me like… golf vibes? like he's sitting there trying to see if the ball went into the hole?? ANYWAYS. kinda dark considering how light it looked during the summer break?? but very defined curls. *chefs kiss*

‎

baku

not as curly as sometimes, just… very messy? kinda flat at times, pretty light and fluffy other times. very cute nonetheless <33 (also speaking of him and his hairline… some pics here are ruthless in that way aaaa)

‎

qatar

looove the way the hair curls around the cap he's wearing when he's out in the wind!! like he has some kind of fluffy padding in it yk?? b a b y. the pics of him right after the feature race are crazy, the hair is everywhere but i understand that he had other things to care about 😭

‎

abu dhabi

the pics on the far right are from a vid on the f2 story from that weekend and i was kinda heartbroken that i chose the collage format to only include his hair and not his facial expressions, because he was SO babyboy in that video. (it's still available in their story highlights! check it out if you havent seen it yet!!!) the curls are so defined and curly but so so pretty, like not very messy just !!! feels like maybe he properly styled them very well this weekend? because the curls look so perfect at times that im like "yeah he didnt just wake up like that". (and that's more than okay!!! 🥰) except for when he just got out of the car lmao like the bottom left pic. insane

‎

other breaks/postseason

mixed pics from random breaks, and pics from after the season (like his seat fitting with alpine)! some of the pics from the parc ferme photoshoot are also very very 🌱, like the top two on the column row! adorableeeee!! the curls also look definitely styled from the family's trip to rome? and the bottom two pics of the second and third column from some forest visit with karl, the hair was adorable :(

‎

gifs !!!

just some random gifs of his hair movement 🫶 as ive already said, i love the wind! thank you mother nature for your hard work!!! also paul running and his hair flopping up and down like a dog's ears will NEVER get old, just saying

if anyone made it this far, thank you for looking & reading!! hope you enjoyed and hope you're maybe at least somewhat near as obsessed as me <33

[moonsaver]

Hi! It’s @pix3lplays! (On anon because I have another account and I can’t switch which account I’m asking from haha)

I wanted to say thanks for being so nice when I responded to your comment on one of my posts~I really appreciated what you said hehe, definitely made me feel bit more confident and inspired me to keep writing :)

So I thought I’d throw an ask out since requests are open~

If you’re not interested no problem but I’ve thought about it a little and I thought maybe you’d have some thoughts.

Yandere!Sunday when his darling somehow gets seriously hurt, how do you think he’d feel, what would he do?

Personally I think he’s a complete control freak already when it comes to reader, so it just gets WORSE…ANYWAYS I wanna hear YOUR thoughts if you’re interested in the prompt hehe~ also if you’ve already talked about this oops I must’ve missed it, sorry in advance-

But yeah thanks so much, it was really cool to talk to you, take care of yourself, please!!

Hello Pixel! Thank you for sending in this ask, you're very sweet haha <3 i like your writing and im glad i helped you become more confident in it. Also,same issue here, i cant send asks from this account specifically, so i use anon or just use my personal blog to send asks.

Anyways, onto the request,

Ooh, my Yan!Sunday brain is ticking.. he really is an absolute control freak, and is a bit of a mess when he sees you seriously injured. A miscalculation, ignorance, negligence, or perhaps just.. an oversight from his part? Whatever the reason is, he's in high-drive now, and absolutely stressed about it. He only has a worried and distant look on his face, and at this stage he's prone to easily snapping at anyone, but his mind would be on a completely different level of stress. How dare they? How dare anyone lay a filthy inch of a finger on you? To stain you with their sins, and to breach your skin in such a grotesque manner.. he's absolutely enraged.

He insists on tending to you himself personally, unless it's so serious paramedics have to be involved. Stays by your side until he cant, sitting on the egde of the bed, body turned halfway to face you, fingers ghosting the edge of your face with tenderness.

However, this tenderness is only limited to your recovery period.

After you wake up or recover a bit, practically any freedom you would have had is gone. Completely.

Scolds you, borderline yells at you, holds you still with a deathly tight grip on your arms, forcing you to look into his eyes. This happened because you left. This happened because you were out of his watch. This all happened because of your freedom. Don't you dare even bother mentioning going out anywhere. You will be surveillanced almost all the time. He spends a suffocating amount of time next to you, harshly spitting back whenever you try to protest or reason with him. His words aren't gentle at all, and you're getting on his nerves. Perhaps he should just look over you himself, force you into a borderline coma in the dream fluid, and deal swiftly with the perpetrators.

Robin catches wind of this at some point.. she tells you that he's just worried, and there's a lot of people that don't quite hold The Family in high regards. Just.. its okay. Let him do this.

Let him pick out your clothes, brush your hair, check your healing wounds, gently ebb the water over them as you bathe, and kiss the skin of your shoulder when both of you stay silent after another argument.

If you still continue arguing.. he doesn't have a choice. He slumps a bit, a hand coming up to massage his temple as he sighs, and tells you in a softer voice that he's terrified. The worst thing that could happen did happen. He almost lost you. Can't you just go with it and let him be assured? You're dragging it out much more than it needs to be. He's spent many sleepless nights, ideas of dreamscapes turning into nightmares as the image of your hurt face flashes in his mind. Just cooperate, for Aeons' sake.

And no one speaks after that. He emotionally blackmails and manipulates you as a sort of final resort. Surely, you'd understand. It's not like it's far from the truth anyway. He is scared. But more than that, he's enraged this happened in the first place.

Adding on more to it,

Once things calm down.. in a twisted sort of way, he realizes just how perfectly he can get you under his complete control from these events. He may even not so subtly orchestrate similar events to scare you, to keep you in check, forcing you to rely on him completely, as he swoops in at the right time, acting as some kind of a "savior". Its a sick mindset, and he's not ashamed of it. Oh dear, you were just so pleasantly compliant after that event. And it just solidifies his statement that you shouldn't be going outside anymore, or be constantly accompanied by the Bloodhound Family guards, after only a few incidents of various threat levels.

In the end, it's a cycle that repeats up until you finally give in and let him take any and all freedom you have. He sets down your hairbrush with a gentle 'clack', kisses the crown of your head, and tells you it's alright. He will take such good care of you. Just listen to him. Listen to his every word. He has your best intentions in mind. Don't think about anything, anyone. You're a smart girl, surely you understand?

[iouinotes]

"The Cole Effect" | Cole Walter

pairing: Cole Walter x female!reader

show: My life with the Walter Boys

warnings: smut, but just a little (I had to after seeing him in that last scene)

word count: 4k

summary: Cole asks the reader out on a date and after he convinced her, they spend a fun (if you know you know) evening together.

a/n: please pretend that his restored car has backseats...thanks (also I'm sorry for the way this ff ended. I wanted to write smut all the way, but it just didnt feel right anymore after the first half. So please enjoy the rest of it and bear with me...)

"So, when do I pick you up?"

He leans against my locker, looking over my shoulder and reading my notes. "Cole, how many times do I have to tell you? I dont have the time and patience, I'm sorry-" sighing I look at him, studying his smug grin.

"You have the chance to get to know me better. In my opinion, that sounds like the perfect way to spend the afternoon." He smiles at me, his eyes scanning my face.

The fact is, I didnt want to fall in love with him and I knew, if I would let him take me out, it wouldnt turn out for the best. Well, mostly for me. He would probably date the next woman, that would catch his eye. And I would be on his list, sitting at home on the weekends and waiting for him to call. No, that wasnt how I planned to spend my time.

I mean, he obviously is very handsome, blonde hair, dreamy eyes, pink lips that somehow always look kissable. And to be honest, sometimes when I get lost in a daydream, forgetting about the math class, he appears in my head. Always smiling as bright as the sun. I dont know what it is, but something about him is so attractive, I dont even know how to discribe it.

Of course, I'm not the only one who feels that sort of attraction. His magical appearance, how he talks, walks, smiles, flirts.

It´s called "the Cole effect". For most of the time, I didnt really get it. But as soon as his eyes landed on me, as soon as he talked to me, trust me, I got it. He is charming, enchanting, funny and he has a way with words that makes it addictive to hear his voice.

It´s crazy, but it is reality.

When I look at him now, I feel another pair of eyes watching me. Erin. The girl, who is in a on-off realtionship with him. Cole has many women, who want him, not just because he is popular. But because he is what every girl dreams of. Thats the problem, he is a dream till he gets bored and then you find yourself in your own nightmare.

"Its just- I cant. Also, there is a really pretty and wonderful girl, standing right next to you, thats been waiting for you to notice her." I never unterstood how Cole could want someone else, when Erin existed.

"Well, Im currently talking to her, so I know when to pick her up." His eyes stay clued to me. Confused, I draw my eyebrows together. "But Erin is this way-" I turn my head to look at her, but at the same second I feel a finger tenderly turning my head back. I freeze, butterflies awake in my stomach and I have to keep myself from looking too flustered by his gesture. Of course, my body has its mind of his own, so I feel my cheeks turn red.

At that, he grins. "I know you feel it, beautiful. One date, thats all Im asking for. I promise, you will have a good time." Im too caught up in my emotions to think reasonable. So I quietly nod and feel myself holding my breath, when he leans down to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. His finger again, linger slightly on my cheek.

"See you then, 9 o'clock. I'll be on time, you have my word." Winking, he turns around and walks down the aisle.

Finally I get to breath again.

☀️☀️☀️☀️

Why the fuck did I agree to this? Standing infront of my mirror, I look at my summer dress, warm yellow colour with beautiful, little sunflowers on it. It was the dress, I got a lot of compliments for. But then again, what was my intention with wearing this dress? Im not sure.

While I pick out a golden necklace in the shape of a sun and put on a few bracelets, I leave my hair down and the way it always is. I don't want him to think that I'm trying too hard.

He knows the truth anyway.

A few minutes later, I hear the doorbell ring and with one last, deep breath I open the door. If I'm honest, I would have liked to close it straight away. Because there's no way to avoid staring at him the whole time when he looks like that. Wearing blue jeans, slightly oversize, a white tank top and his red jersey. He looks hot, in a way I want to spend the rest of the day, riding something other than his car. God, help me survive this.

To my suprise, he is quiet the gentleman. He compliments my dress, he holds the door open to his car, he lets me pick the music and as I sit in the passanger seat, listining to Taylor Swift, I smile to myself. Unfortunetely I´m not very subtle about it, because he asks me right away about my good mood.

"I dont know, Im just having a good time, I guess." I look at him, while he is focusing on the road. I see one of his hand rising, so he dramatically holds onto his chest.

"I'm hurt. Did you think, I was that boring?" Laughing, I shake my head. "No, its not that. To best honest, I didnt expect myself to enjoy today." I turn my head and look at my lap, fiddling with my fingers. "Why not?" I see his head looking in my direction, a curious tone in his voice.

"I´ve had a hard time this last year, everything with school and you are- I mean, I dont know what intention do you have with me? Im not a one night stand type of person, I want something real. You know, like in the love songs, the real feelings, a real relationship. With a person, who wants me the same way, I feel about them. I think, thats the reason Im not sure, if this-" I gesture between us "is a good idea."

He´s quite for a moment and I feel more embarassed, the more seconds pass.

"Im sorry. I didnt mean that we´re going to be, you know like a thing. I respect your decision to spend your time with other girls, I didnt mean it is something bad. Its just-" He finishes my sentence. "-not for you. I know." His eyes are on the road, but I see his hands nervously tapping the wheel.

"Sorry, if I just crashed the vibe. I didnt intend to do it." I look at my hands. "No, its okay. Dont be sorry. I like your honesty. You know, you state your point. Thats good."

We look at each other and I try to search in his eyes for a sign, that he´s pissed. But he just lightly smiles at me, reaching out and holding my hands. While one of his hands is still on the wheel, of course. I feel myself blushing.

"Look, lets not pretend that I´m the best choice for a relationship or boyfriend material. Because I´m not and you knew that, even before you agreed to spend the afternoon with me. So, I´m just curious. Why did you change your mind?"

His thumb is massaging the back of my hand and I try not to settle with this warm feeling in my chest. "Because you dont give up that easily and it's hard not to give in to you." I see a smile tuck at his lips. "You think so?" I role my eyes.

"You know the affect you have on people, Cole. It wouldnt suprise me, if you run for president and won. People like you." He laughs at my comparison, turning the wheel and driving into the driveway to a nice restaurant. When he parks the car and turns of the light, he turns in my direction and looks at me.

"Do you like me?"

The question suprises me. "What?" I laugh quietly. "You said, people like me. So, do you like me too?" His eyes search mine.

"Well, if I would hate you, I think i wouldnt have agreed to go to dinner with you." He leans forward.

"Well you could just be here for the food?" I grin at him. "You got me, Im just hungry, sorry. Can we go in and be silent the entire time?" His hands are still holding mine, but now one of them is caressing my arm, leaving me with goosebumbs.

We sit in silent, but when he opens his mouth to break the comfortable atmosphere, Im shocked by his honest words.

"Well, I like you. You´re funny, endearing, honest and smart. You are nice to everyone, even if you have do deal with a guy like me, who gets on your nerves, so you agree to go on a date with him. It´s something about you, that is special and I would like to get to know you better. If you do, I promise you´ll get more food."

I smile at his last sentence, even though I dont know what to say. "God, you´re making me speechless." He leans even closer. "I can do many other things, that can make you speechless." At that I look at his lips. I see him grin and when I look up again, he is even closer than before.

"There are two choices now. One, we go into his lovely restaurant and talk about god knows what or two, we test whether the seats can be tilted backwards." At his voice I feel myself getting flustered. God knows, I would love to test what the car is capable of. But we´re out in a driveway, infront of a restaurant and people could see us. And even though I´m not really against the idea, its to early.

"Or three, we eat first and maybe later, you show me why I need to hate you less." He rises his eyebrows. "So you really are just here for the food." I laugh. "I guess, I am."

The time we spend in the restaurant was wonderful. I didnt expect us to connect this way, its like he just gets me. We ate a huge meal, in the end we almost forget to pay and I feel myself being so entchanted to him.

Even though the waitress tried to flirt with him (which by the way is rude, because what about girls support girls?), he kept his attention on me, also reaching out infront of her and taking my hand. I really couldnt tell myself to stop imagining, what it would be like, if we were a couple.

I mean, its ridiculous, because he made it very clear, that he didnt want to be in a relationship. But still, a girl could dream, right? Right.

After we did pay (much to the relief of the waitress), we went outside and walked a few minutes along a path, our hands entangled by the time we got back to the car. I didnt want to admit it, but he managed to make me fall in love with him in one day.

And even though I was scared, he made me feel alive. I couldnt concentrate on anything over than him, his sweet compliments, his eyes that kept looking at my lips, his arm that went around my shoulder to keep me warm.

He was so caring, it made me loose my mind. I didnt want the night to end. So when we were back in his car on the way home and he asked me, if I wanted to see his new car, I agreed.

We talked on the way back about our interests. He told me about his passion for football, even though he didnt get to play anymore and about his fascination for restoring cars. I told him about my love for books and that I would rather spend the day waching a new Netflix series, than doing sports. We talked about our goals for the future and that we both want to get out of this town, finally seeing something new.

By the time we arrived at the ranch and he parked the car outside the door, it felt like I knew his past selve, his present and future self. I never had a date like this before, something so honest and great.

But I mean, I also never knew a person like Cole before, so maybe that is the reason.

☀️☀️☀️☀️

When we arrived, it was dark outside, but because it´s summer, neither one of us felt cold. "Is it okay for me to be here? I mean, are your parents cool with you, bringing a girl home?" I look to the house, checking if some of his family members are still awake, but no lights are seen. "As long as they dont know about it, they´re cool." He grins at me and I shake my head.

"Come on, I want to show you what I´ve been working on for the last months." He leads me, one of his hands on my back to the garage, opening the door and letting me in. Its dark inside, but I hear him shifting around to find the switch to turn on the light. When I hear a click and the light flickers on, I look around and at the tools, all the stuff standing around and finally at the car.

He´s standing next to it, a proud smile on his face. "So, what do you think?" Im walking towards him, inspecting his work. "I mean, I dont have a clue about cars, but it looks really good and like it was restored by a proffesional." My fingers run over the open hood.

When he carefully closes it a few seconds later, I look up and see him watching me. "What?" I say, starring back. He takes a step towards me, searching in my gaze, trying to make out if I want this the same way, he wants to feel me. But as I stand still, waching him get closer, centimeter by centimeter, until our faces almost touch, I feel myself breathing heavily.

His hands sneak around my waist, pulling me gently closer to him. He turns around, so he leans onto the car, directing me, so I stand between his legs. I feel myself getting hot, I hear his breath and watch his eyes trailing down to my lips and finally to my eyes. I do the same. And before I know it, he leans in and catches my lips in a captivating way. I feel myself melt.

One of my arms sneak around his shoulders, so I get closer to him. I feel butterflies fly around in my stomach, smiling in the kiss and when he breaks apart, he looks at me.

"Hate me less now?" He wispers.

"Not really, try again."

So he does. Our lips meet, our breath gets taken and I feel my knees weaken, when one of his hands capture my face. He holds me still and I feel every touch, my skin burns.

The temparature rises and when one of his hands travel down, first to my neck, then to my collarbone and lastly to my shoulders, his fingers hold the straps of my dress. Again, he breaks apart, so I open my eyes and immedialy want to kiss him again. Although my hands wander over his shoulder, Im not sure what to do now.

"Are you nervous?" His hands caress my sides, his question leaves me uncertain. I nod, not in the right state to use my words. At that, he gently smiles. "Then I will help you relax. You can do that for me right?"

His words make me clench my thights and I feel myself getting wet. When I nod again, he leans forward and wispers in my ear. "Good girl." That and that his lips nip at my ear and leave a wet trail at my neck, makes me whimper slightly. I feel him smirk, so he earns a light smack on his arm. He laughs quietly and when I open my eyes, his ones are shining with a hidding mischief.

"You enjoy this too much." I say it as a joke, but he takes it seriously. "I do, actually. I dreamt about you making these sounds a lot more often, than I would like to admit."

At that, I gasps. "You what?" I try to concentrate on his words, but his wandering hands dont help with that. He kisses me, but now he turns us around and presses me against the car. Helping me sit on it, so he can get between my legs.

"I said" he beginns to speak and his lips find a certain spot, that makes me moan. "I want to hear all the little sounds, that escape you." My hands wander to his hair, holding it and messing with it. His hands again find the straps of my dress and when I kiss him more passionate, he slowly beginns to pull it down. First the right side until he lets go of it, so he can pull the other one down. All that, while still kissing me.

I feel myself getting lost in him, his lips are like a drug and I feel myself getting addicted. When I feel the air hitting my skin, I break apart. He looks at me, checking if I’m still okay with what we´re doing. "What do you want to do?" he holds the straps of my dress, gesturing that he wants to get me out of it. I breath, trying to know, what I want.

I come to the simple conclusion, that I do want him. Even if its just for now. So I kiss him and try to strip him out his jacket. To do that, he lets go of my dress and it falls to the floor, leaving me in my underwear. His eyes scan my body as his hands caress my skin, his finger going from my shoulders to my breasts.

Breathing heavily I look at him. "Your turn." His hands leave my body and with a teasing smile he takes off his jacket, leaving me starring at his muscles.

One of his fingers turn my head to look at him. "You like what you see?" His grin says it all. My hands find their way to touch his arms, going further down until i tuck at his shirt.

"I would like you more without it." His eyes turn dark. Swiftly he strips off his tanktop, leaving us both starring at each other. Before I can do something else, his arms direct me to him.

"You´re having second thoughts about this, sunshine?" He´s touching my necklace.

"Have you?" I look at him, seeing him smile.

"Never." His hands go to my legs, so he can lift me up and my legs hold on to his hip. I lean towards him, kissing his neck and stopping by his ear.

"What do you want to do to me?" At that, he stands up, still holding me, while opening the door of his restored car and lays me gently on the back seats. He´s hovering over me, a look in his eyes that makes me shiver. When he leans down and presses a kiss on my chest, near my neck, I try to focus on my breathing.

"I want to do so many things to you." His hands tangle in my hair, lightly tugging on it while he leans down, his lips ghost over my own.

"I want to-" his voice goes quiet, I feel his hands touching my legs, breaking them apart, so he can sit between them. "-take of your panties first. Alright?" I nod, looking up to him. Slowly his fingers find my underwear, so he can slide them down and I get out of it.

When he holds them in his hands, he puts it in his pocket, because he still wears his jeans. He starts to kiss me, leaving my mind with a relaxed feeling, going further down, kissing my chest and my stomach, eventually leaving a kiss above the one spot, thats been dying to be touched.

"I already have you this wet, how sweet of you." When his hand comes down and touches me, sliding one finger gently over my folds, I try to hold myself together.

"You dont need to be quiet. Nobody can hear you." But when I keep holding in my moans, he takes it as a personal challenge. As he leaves kisses all over my body, his finger carefully begin to speed up and I feel my walls clenching.

"God, you´re so tight. How long havent you been touched?" His mouth his hot on my skin and when he adds a second finger, I moan loudly. My eyes squeeze shut at the feeling that consumes me, I cant concentrate on a word he says.

"Already too turned on to answer me, huh? Thats a shame, because Im curious to know the answer of my question." He stops the movements of his fingers, leaving me with a needy feeling. And when I try to move, he stills my hips.

"As much as I like to see you sqirm, I want you to answer me. Can you do that for me?" I try to remember his question. "I-I havent." He rises his eyebrows in confusion. "You what?" His fingers leave my body. When I open my eyes, I realise what he has been asking me.

"I-I havent been touched like that before." His mouth opens in disbelief. "You never had a boyfriend or someone you´ve been intimitated with?" I look at the ceiling of his car. "I mean, not really. I´ve dated someone once, but we didnt reach a level, where we got to this point. So, I never did something like this." I can see the conflict in his eyes. "You´re sure, you want me to be your first?" Its sweet, that he cares.

"I- I guess so, Im sure it wont be a bad experience with you." He quietly laughs. "I hope so, but I cant get my head around the fact, that this is your first time. I mean, youre beautiful and fun to be around." He´s silent for a moment. "You know, we dont have to go all the way, right? I wont be mad, if we stop here."

I think for a moment and while my hands trace his muscles, I try to sort out my thoughts. Now that his fingers are no longer distracting me, I try to understand my feelings.

"We should maybe take it slow? I do want to get to know you better, before-" I dont have to finish the sentence, he just nods and when he smiles at me, I feel myself relax.

"That´s okay, don´t worry. I can drive you home, if that is what you want?" My eyes are searching for a sign, that he is mad. But he just gently brushes my hair aside and kisses the side of my mouth.

„I like you. That means, so we are clear here, that I want you to want me. And if thats the case, which I hope so, then we dont need to rush anything. If the time is right, who knows what will happen. Even if that means, I need to beg you to go out with me again.“

I raise my eyebrows, laughing at his words.

„You would do that?“ He shrugs, smiling at me.

„For you, I would.“

[thetorturedbuckydepartment]

chapter four: the party

pairing: Bucky barnes x plus-sized!SHIElD!reader

masterlist

summary: being a SHIELD agent, you have a knack for analysing people, particularly when it comes to attraction. you have everyone figured out, sorted away into the boxes you've created. But there's one man you can never seem to figure out, the very bane of your existence -- Bucky Barnes. On the field, he is a saint, helping you dodge bullets and taking knife wounds in your name. Around the building? Public menace number one, always poised to insult or to spar with you.

After being sent on a 6-month-long torture-cum-vacation with the very man, could all this change? Could you finally figure out what has been bubbling beneath the surface for years between the two of you, the juggernaut that you know you cannot stop?

warnings:  language, mention of Bucky having a nightmare, mentions of sex, FLUFF!!!!!

word count: 3.1k

taglist: @cjand10 @mcira @calwitch

PREVIOUS PART

A/N: its been a long time coming...SORRY I got into med at my top choice uni so life's been a bit busy recently!!!! pls comment and reblog and lmk what you think!! <333

“Hey doll, can you help me a minute?” You’re lounging in the living room, watching women try their best to sell cardigans that look like they’d fall apart in the smallest gust of wind, not really paying much attention. You’re too busy thinking about Bucky, fiddling with the hem of your dress. About how good he looked at dinner last night, how you could swear his hand was softly touching your face in the middle of the night, when you decided to sleep in his bed because of his nightmare.

And the way it was making you feel. Stirring something inside your chest and between your legs like never before, butterflies and raw desire and hardcore want — it’s almost too much. It’s been a week since his birthday, since you called a truce. And you cant stop thinking of anything that isn’t him, much like when you’d first met him. His hair, his eyes, his voice, his hands— fuck. You don’t know what these past couple of weeks have done to you. Maybe it’s because you’ve gone so long without sex, yes, maybe the depravity is getting to your brain and channeling feelings that you’ve killed and fought and suffered to bury deep down so they never—

“Doll? You okay?” Bucky stands at the door, shirtless and shaving cream over half of his face, watching you. You realise you’ve been blankly staring at him the entire time, and immediately snap out of it. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. What do you need help with?” He shuffles as you straighten, walking over to him and stopping just a metre away. It’s almost too close. 

“My arm is acting up again, I can’t finish shaving. Could…could you do it for me? Please.” You nod, reaching forward and grabbing the razor out of his hand. Your fingertips brush and you swallow your stuttering heartbeat at the contact. 

“Yeah, of course.” This is the second time this has happened, that his arm has been acting up to the point where he can barely move it. He won’t show it, but you know the pain must be excruciating. You try not to dwell on it, or your urge to soothe him as he leads you to the bathroom.

“Sit down on the edge of the bathtub for me.” You use your commanding voice as you fish out his shaving cream from the medicine cabinet. As you turn to face him, you catch him wince. You can’t stop yourself.

“Does it hurt a lot?” You keep your voice and face devoid of any judgement, lest he believe your question to be mockery. He looks away, down at his lap.

“Sometimes. I hate it, it makes me wish…” You close the distance between the both of you, lace your fingers through the hair at the back of his head, and gently tug, pulling his face upwards.

“Look at me when you’re talking to me, Bucky. What does it make you wish?” His pupils dilate to a new diameter you once thought impossible, at your authoritative voice. He likes it. It makes him realise that being controlled doesn’t always feel evil and torturous. Sometimes it can be desire awakening, and cause that familiar blanket to gloss over his brain and eyes, the blanket that only leads him to think of you. 

“It makes me wish I had arms like yours.” You gently manoeuvre your right hand to slip a finger between vibranium and the weird skin-like rubber stretched on top of it, and freeze at his words. 

You offer him a soft smile. “Arms like mine?”

“Two well-functioning arms. Not dependent on some metal hunk to do the job for you. You can feel everything in a way I’ll never be able to, no matter how advanced Wakandan technology gets. Arms like yours.”

You curl the fingers in his hair, feeling the soft silkiness against your delicate skin. You affectionately stroke his scalp as the both of you sigh in tandem at the new, yet not unpleasant, feeling. “The grass always seems greener on the other side, darling.” You try and convince yourself you’re just practising calling him names so you can play it off at the housewarming party you’re having later tonight. You fail.

“You’ve seen the state of my arms, haven’t you? Every single scar on them comes alongside the most horrible memories of a night I’d do anything to forget. I—I can’t believe I’m saying this— I’ve always been a bit jealous of your vibranium arm.  Not how you got it, of course, but of how fucking cool it looks. How strong it makes you, can you imagine the things I could do if I were as strong as you? And I like the black and gold…Over the years, it’s become such an inherent part of you, it made me sad to watch you walk around with the human skin sleeve thing on. But I know how you got it, and the memories that you would do anything to forget, and I’m almost never there when it starts acting up, or when the phantom pains make you double over. Just like how you don’t know I can barely stand the sight of myself in a mirror, because of all of those scars.” You focus on slowly peeling the skin sleeve off as you speak, avoiding eye contact. You’ve become the one thing you hate the most — vulnerable.

The rubber skin finally pops off, and his face finally shifts away from yours to focus on the mild relief seeing vibranium brings. “Is that any better?” You’re changing the topic. He knows you’re changing the topic, but he doesn’t argue with it or fight to get back, he knows what a big thing it was for you to admit all that you just did.

“A bit. It might be better if you detach my arm.” You nod, eyes still not looking at him, but rather, following the intricate lines and details you’ve so sorely missed. 

“Then I’ll go get you an ice pack.” 

When the cool gel pack presses against his skin, he immediately relaxes, letting out a shaky breath. Dear God, he must’ve been in agony. You gesture for him to hold his right hand over the top of the pack to press it to his ache, so you can focus on other activities, like shaving. When your hands brush, this time, you can’t help but stare into the cerulean abyss of his eyes, temporarily letting your maddening affections be known. His eyes glance at your lips like the lack of space between you two is the one thing he’s been waiting for, and you let your eyes drift downwards too. Letting yourself enjoy the bright pink curve of his lips — how can anyone’s lips be this colour? How can he have such a pretty mouth that you want nothing more than to kiss, and taste and feel on your—?

“So do you want a clean shave? Or do you want me to leave some parts?” 

His heart sinks. He should’ve known the way you’re looking at him might be a last minute resort to cure the depravity that must ail you, instead of you actually desiring him. He shouldn’t have let his fantasies get carried away.

“Clean shave is fine.” You nod, carefully testing the razor on your arm to gauge the pressure you should apply without hurting him. He can’t help but melt at the small gesture, and his arm winds around your waist as he pulls you onto his lap. 

“It’ll be easier this way.” You try to think nothing of it. Especially, the way his hand feels splayed across your lower back and cementing your entire front to his. You’ve never realised his hands were so big until the tips of his fingers reach your hair and thumb rests respectfully just below where your bra begins. You nod, trying to calm your breathing.

He notices. He keeps silent, wondering what your next move will be. He certainly doesn’t expect you to cup his jaw so delicately and, more of note than that, so fondly as you begin dragging the razor down his face, watching it glide and reveal smooth skin than the blue eyes that seem to have no interest in anything that isn’t your face. 

“Lift your chin up for me a bit, that’s it. Good boy.” The last part slips almost out of habit, but you don’t register this until it’s too late. He’s looking at you and you’re looking at him and he fits against you so perfectly that you can’t resist meeting his wonderful blue eyes. He watches you, lips parted.

And he can’t hold back anymore, breathing in the scent of shaving cream and perfume and your fucking pheromones. He glances between your eyes, searching for any inkling of hesitance in the beautiful colour he’s painted his wall back home. 

Then he grabs your face in his one hand, sliding into your soft hair and your eyes close in instinct, letting out the smallest relieved sigh ever. Because you are. It feels like every interaction you’ve had with Bucky in the past 8 years is finally coming to a boil, and your conscience is tired of suppressing the deep attraction that you feel towards him. Sexual, romantic, all of it. All of it. 

His soft, sweet, wanting mouth meets yours, half-open in desire, for a languid kiss. It is full of longing and lust and pining, almost a decade’s worth of it. Your hand finds his head again, grabbing onto the short, soft locks and keeping his face pressed up against yours. You can’t help it, you want more. You’ve always wanted more, and searched for it in everyone but the one man you crave. You know, just to torture yourself. That’s the reality of what you’ve been doing, the circles you’ve been running in, around and around and around him. Avoidant attachment, anxious avoidance. You don’t know what on Earth to call it, all you know is you want nothing to do with it anymore. And just as your lungs begging for oxygen out-win your heart’s greed, you realise what you’ve just done, the domino you’ve just toppled.

You rest your forehead against his, staring deeply into his dilated pupils. So pretty.

“Bucky…” You never did revert back to James once your tongue became familiar with his nickname. “We can’t be doing this…if they find out,” you say, gripping his shoulder ever so desperately. “They won’t let us work together again.” His eyebrows scrunch up in immense pain, like to hear that is more excruciating than any torture he’s ever been subject to.

“Don’t say that. Don’t give me a taste of everything I’ve been wanting for the past fucking, like, decade and then rip it away from me. They’ll understand, just—Please, don’t say that. Please.” He grips your face a little tighter, not wanting to let you go. And the desperation in his voice breaks you. Severely. 

You kiss him again, more fervently like you’d die if you don’t taste him again. He tastes like the strawberries he was eating for breakfast, and you moan. Unabashedly. Because he is everything you’ve been wanting, and you’re tired of denying it to every bastard haunted corner of your mind. His eyebrow furrows when he realises that you want him just as bad, and he hasn’t been making it up for these past long years. It wasn’t all in his mind. You’re real, you’re sitting in his lap and kissing him like your life depends on it. Dear God, how is he ever going to deny you anything you ask of him ever again? He won’t and he won’t want to. Ever.

He moans every nickname he can think of when you kiss him so feverishly, he makes every sound under the sun at the feeling of your soft lips and soft body and soft everything that makes him go fucking feral. 

And then he moves his left arm to grab at you, if only to watch how beautiful you look with the black and gold against your skin, forgetting that it currently lies on the bathroom floor, and a nauseating pain flares up again. 

“Ah, shit.” You’ve known him long enough to recognise when he’s in pain. You pull away, ceasing grinding against his erection to seek veracity in his face. “Did I hurt you, darling?” You gently touch his cheek, relishing in the way he leans into it.

“No.” His eyes flutter closed as you stroke his marvellous cheekbone, already so sick with affection for him. “My shoulder…I—I wanted to touch more of you, but—.”

“Oh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Buck. Really. Here, let me help you. Shit, I should’ve thought of that before I leaped at you. Sorry.” How is this so easy? You’ve never been this affectionate with anyone before…Maybe it’s the privacy, and the intimacy of being in the bathroom with him, in his lap. 

“Don’t apologise for that. It might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He smiles bashfully as you laugh stroking the hair at the nape of his neck, gently pressing the now lukewarm icepack against his shoulder. 

“You have an incredibly low bar for ‘best thing to have ever happened to you’.” 

He kisses your cheek, and your eyelids flutter. “Maybe you’re just that amazing,” he whispers against your ear, kissing it. You gasp.

“Is this all it takes to get you to not hate me? Kiss you?” You eye his lips once again, already reminiscing the feeling of them. Golden, like daylight. 

“I’ve never hated you.” Your eyes dart up, knowing he’s lying. He can’t be serious.

“What do you mean? You hated me from the get-go. Why do you think I stopped being nice to you?” 

“I felt like I didn’t deserve you. That’s why. I know it’s not an excuse for the horrible things I’ve done, like my birthday, but I truly felt that way. I felt so evil, so unworthy of any goodness that anyone offered me, but especially you. I’ve been I—obsessed with you since the second I saw you, but I guess it was a form of self-sabotage to deny myself of it. And by the time I felt worthy enough to try to win you over, I was too late.” He swallows some of the pain, and you hand shifts to cup his face. “So I thought, maybe if I keep you hating me, at least you’ll feel something for me, like a sick form of validation.” 

You smile softly at his confession, feeling your heart swell at his reddening cheeks. “You are the first, and only, person I’ve ever had romantic feelings for. They were so intense, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t know how to act around you, and when I thought you hated me, I thought it was for the best. Maybe it would help me get over you. But instead, I’ve spent pretty much a whole decade trying to convince myself that I don’t have any feelings for you. I was, so wrong. I’m so sorry. I said so many horrible things to you, and you never deserved any of it. I knew that, but I was too caught up in myself to mind. But you deserve good things, amazing things even. You always have.” You kiss him again, passionately yet shortly, sealing your words with the action.

“So we wasted 8 years?” You nod, resting your head against the crook of his neck. “Not wasted. I’d rather argue with you than be with anyone else. That…is abundantly clear.” He laughs, and you stand, extending your hand to him. He gently grabs your fingers and stroking them, before he flips it and kisses the back of it, looking up at you through his lashes. A silly, lovesick grin takes over your features as he pulls you into him wrapping his arm around your waist and resting his head on your stomach. You soothe him, and enjoy the silence.

“I’d rather have you hate my guts than be in love with anyone else.”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

The party goes as expected. Buck had pulled you into his lap while you were doing your makeup, just silently watching you. You’ve never felt more wanted, and you realise that this was the one thing you’ve always craved, deep down. To be wanted, to be loved. Recently, more specifically to be wanted and loved by Bucky. The two of you are nowhere near that stage right now, but the want and desire is there. His chin on your shoulder, poised to angle his head to press kisses to your neck as you apply your favourite blush, or him stroking your waist when you lean forward to apply mascara. Obsessed, enamoured, unabashed. 

The both of you also determined a common distress signal while you were applying lip gloss, to converse in Hindi when you want to convey information in plain sight. A language nobody here would know, but it allows your words to go almost undetected — appearance vs. Reality, you suppose.

Senator Parker was just as sleazy as you expected, leaning into you and trying his best to stare down your dress when he thought you weren’t looking. Once Bucky noticed it, he’s kept himself glued to your side at all times, sparing no expense in calling you his beautiful wife. You asked the Senator why he was away for so long, and he engages in conversation.

“Well, you see, sweetheart, I was looking for a new right-hand man.” You hand fists the back of Bucky’s shirt at the nickname, and he holds you a little tighter in response. You’re lucky he knows how to read you so well, to keep you on the task at hand.

“Is he showing up tonight?” Bucky asks, gently stroking your back to keep you grounded.

Just then the doorbell rings, and you seize the chance to leave this conversation. You don’t think you can handle a man twice your age eye-fucking you any longer.

“I’ll go get that. You’ll have to excuse me.” You offer Parker a tight-lipped smile, before turning and pressing up to your tiptoes to press a light, affectionate kiss on Bucky’s cheek. He blushes, grinning. “Be right back,” you whisper, for his ears only. He’s the only person you’d ever want to come back to.

You open the door with a polite smile on your face, only to be met with, quite literally, the man of your nightmares.

Your blood runs cold.

“It’s been too long, lovebug.”

NEXT PART

[stitchwraith-stingers]

autistic hazel headcanons because i lost my last post

spoke really late, around 5 years old, since then she hasnt stopped talking, god speed

i shouldnt have to say itsince its so obvious in the show but geology special interest..... i like to imagine she has various really niche hyperfixations (like her hat thing going on) one day she could just pop up next to you and go btw did u know that birds r crazy cool and then the next month shes talking about furneture

and to add to that, it all started when her family went onto some museum exibit and her brother was like ohh rocks r so strange and explained whatever he learned in the...... 8th grade i cant count about them and from that day on

no idea where to put this but she has had bad sleeping problems since forever . she lives off 2 hours of sleep baybe and they r heavenlyyyy... unrelated but the nightmare haver...

not really much sensory issues going on, but she perfers lights off in her room if shes able to

she doesnt like alot of different fabric textures, silk is a 100% no-go for her, she sticks with wool

doesnt like soft fruit (bananas, strawbarries, mangoes, blueberries) and doesnt like most nuts

would hide in the janitors closet when she has a meltdown / shutdown, everyone in the school just kinda accepts it now and always know shes there since where else could she be, she doesnt actually have those often she just had it 3 times and keeps using it as an excuse to talk to coswan

her main stim was rocking back and forth often, but the kids would point it out often and shes trying SO hard to not do it again so they wouldnt stare at her, body stims alot in general but probably doesnt notice it

often makes alottttt of hand gestures when talking and people would repeat those gestures to her

the short term memoryerrrrrr (crock to the future.....tbh same)

has a hard time distinguishing phrases (break a leg, i could eat a horse etc) but is fine with sarcasam

COLLECTOR OF FIDGETS!!!!!! had to sell most of them before leaving for dimmadelphia though :( her faves are tangles, popits are just easier to carry around

probably had a weighted plushie she had everywhere as a kid, i like to imagine it was an elephant

doesnt like strong smells WORST sensory nightmare for her, unfortunatly for her, onions are her fathers comfort food

doesnt like eyecontact, unfortunatly for her, her best friend likes intense eye contact

her family is full of undiagnosed neurodivergents (marcus/angela r autistic4adhd to me) so they probably connect the dots after guzman pulls them aside and goes weve been observing ur daughter and i think you might want to check this out

I CANT FIND THE FUCKING IMAGE NOO but hazel n marcus r basically that one image thats like "sorry mom im gonna be late i have to drop this pebble down a river to see how big the splash it" / "ok but tell me too how deep it is how loud i was etc"

[rottkitt]

this was originally a shitpost but ykw? paco headcanon and interaction dump. mostly season 1… paco warning obviously scroll if uncomfy

paco but it’s just pickle getting cuteness aggression and squeezing taco’s face because he physically can’t take how fucking adorable she is.

i like to imagine he cups her cheeks and just affectionately bullies her like she’s a fat kitten.

“do you know you exist? you don’t. you’re dumb. you’re so stupid— no thoughts, the only thing in your head is lemons. why are you like this. little dum dum idiot i hate it die die die i love you” and taco’s just like “ooohhhhhh my goddddd he’s touching my faasccceedee,,,,,iioihhhhhmy god” like the dumb bisexual she is.

he rubs her cheeks with his thumbs and kisses all over her face and shes just dying. she dies. like she actually stops functioning because she cant handle the affection…

they sleep next to each other. it gets really cold at night and they’re both practically cold blooded so they have to cuddle up just to stay warm.

pickle’s the only person taco will sit that close to, he makes her feel safe and loved which means he’s automatically touch safe in her eyes

more of an au than a headcanon, but very covert system pickle X very obvious system taco… he’s spaceheaded and dissociated unless he’s with taco because she unkowingly helps him keep his identity grounded (perfect for angst)

they can both purr… and they’re the only ones that know except for mic and knife who discovered it unintentionally

if they were bugs taco would be a spider, most likely a brown recluse or black widow, and pickle would be a leaf bug. no questions asked

pickle has a box of art and projects taco made in season 1. when he “spitefully” gives it back to her post-finale there’s verg obviously several drawings missing (he kept them)

taco finds pickle’s voice very soothing. in season 1 when she woke up from nightmares he’d lull her back to sleep by rambling about random stuff, and in post-finale she just gets really sleepy when she’s around him and he’s talking a lot

pickle holding taco’s arms and mindlessly running his fingers over any scars……. taco letting pickle touch the slight scar left on her face post-finale because she trusts him.. ough…

taco sits upside down in chairs a lot, and pickle unintentionally picking up that habit. he plays games upside down

pickle sometimes wakes up confused why taco isn’t next to him then remembers.

cat taco and bunny pickle. no questions.

(cw suggestive) taco’s favorite candy flavor is, unfortunately, green apple. and she really likes lollipops. she can’t eat any around pickle because of it

pickle has to carry taco around in season 1 if she just woke up because she’s too tired to do anything

pickle accidentally falling asleep and slumping over onto taco’s shoulder (or lap) and wrapping his arms around her on the couch of hotel oj and taco just being like “oohhhh.. hes gonna kill me when he wakes up but i cant walk away because hes clinging onto meee…” (taco plays with his hair while he sleeps) (mic has photos and bullies taco with it)

they LOVE messing with each other’s hair

they’re both sleepy little thangs…

taco’s chubbier in season 1 but definitely loses more weight than healthy and pickle just stares at her sometimes thinking “i wish i didn’t hate you so i could help you heal.���

taco’s scared of being around or interacting with pickle after watching him literally die and almost not come back

taco can’t drink coffee because it makes her cough a lot and get sick, but she lurks around the coffee table anyways because pickle can’t live without caffiene and she’s trying to get used to existing around him again

pickle used to call taco “my angel” in french. he still cringes any time he hears someone use angel as a nickname or petname

okay i think that’s it for now…. you should totally reblog with your own paco headcanons…… /nf

@loveableliquid ykw here im tagging you come get your food you paco loving FREAK /sil

[squiddy-god]

dad albedo hcs

If you see this, and you're thinking, "hey, I've seen this work before" you're probably correct, I am the original poster, my blog got nuked I was previously squid-god-supreme. I'm re uploading most of my fics. If by the end of this, (which will be announced) you don't see a particular fic you remember me riding, you can always request that I post it and I will probably still have it.

CW : fluf, implied pregnancy, dad albedo, kids and stuff, mushy brain feels. Older fic

Ok so this man would be a great dad lemme tell you smth 

Albedo is someone whos is extremely patient, he also hardly gets extremely mad so he almost never yells and prefers to calmly explain things 

Speaking of witch albedo probably loves kids, kids are just so curious about the wold and always asks questions 

Which he is more than willing to answer! He could spend hours just answering any questions they have 

Also thinks babies are super cute (even if time consuming) 

So albedo has tons, tons of drawings of your kid from when they were a baby and of you with them, a picture of you holding them, another of them sleeping peacefully, one that he sketched while he held them, so many pictures. 

They’re tiny to, they definitely take after albedo in the size department lmao, both of them are smol 

Albeo likes to read books to them before bed whenever he can, usually it's alchemy books but sometimes he’ll make up his own storey to tell them 

Even if it's alchemy books they always seem to ask for another storey of for him to keep reading, and honestly? Albedo is weak and cant say no to the big adorable eyes 

If they don't want to eat something like their vegetables he makes up a storey and dose the airplane trick

Yes its the cutest thing 

It's not an uncommon sight to see your child waiting outside albedos lab for him to finish an experiment, usually he lets them watch if they promise to be good, but if he thinks it might be dangerous then he says they have to wait outside 

SUMMONS HIS ELEVATOR FOR THEM SO THEY CAN JUMP OFF AND LET HIM CATCH THEM 

Its so cute waiting them giggle while he spins them around after catching them 

*cough* imagine albedo singing them to sleep after they have a nightmare *cough* 

Kaeya babysits them pretty often if your both really busy (catch him calling them minibedo) 

Albedo 100% plays teaparty with them and auntie klee

Once you walked in on them playing tea party and you'll never forget the sight of albedo sitting there, clips and bows in his hair, teira on his head, makeup obvious done by the two kids, drinking pretend tea 

Asked if you wanted to join and ofc you did 

Albedo loves soft moments between you, like walking around mondstat together, each of you holding one of your kids hands 

Always loves to hear them talk about something theyre interested in, be it alchemy, clouds, plants, rocks, he loves to listen to it 

Teaches them how to cook! Bonus points if you also help! (albedo is a good cook fight me) 

Both of them have a sweet tooth and honestly how can you resist giving in when they are both so adorable 

They do finger painting together! They sit in albedos lap and they paint<3 its really cute and they always look so proud 

Ojinrbrfiuvneovnei ok maybe i'm soft and bias but Dilf albedo supremacy

[agvstdr]

Changed man - Dean winchester

- Dean is back from hell, but he's changed.

She was scared to let him go because once she did she'd gone forever. She doesn't  temporarily close doors- she burns them down and replaces them with tombstones. It becomes a place to mourn a relationship that once was but isn't anymore; a place where dreams, hope, love, the life they shared and the people they were together are buried and only memories remains.

- Jess Amelia

months ago dean suddenly returned from hell, both sam and i were happy to see him again but we immediately understood that he was not the dean of once. he wanted to appear calm, with his usual jokes and yet we understood that as soon as he asked for attention, the nightmares did not leave him alone: he told us that we were just paranoid.

only after discovering that it was an angel, castiel who had brought him back to life and only after many battles we managed to understand what had happened in hell and what he had to endure.

now besides lilith we also have to face another problem, that is we have to defend Anna both from the angels who want to kill her, and from the demons who want to take her to know everything the angels say.

"sam do you know where anna is?"

sam looks around and then shakes his head.

"dean is missing too."he then points out to me

i can't help but think of a thousand things, that maybe someone had taken anna and dean had been involved, so together with sam we went to look for them.

we look for them everywhere screaming their names, when then we see dean's impala parked near the shed where we took refuge.

it doesn't take long to realize that anna and dean were in the car and that they were having sex.

"is that what i think it is?" i ask almost crying to sam who is next to me

sam nods slightly and then gently takes me back to the shed.

i don't know exactly how much time passes, but anna and dean return and manage to pretend that nothing had happened between them.

at the end of the day, anna has regained her grace and disappeared, the two demons have been killed and both alaistair and the two angels are gone, leaving us alone.

dean comes closer to me to see if i'm hurt but i move away, i don't want him to touch me.

"what's wrong with you?"

i look into his eyes that i loved so much, that have made me smile so many times and that have made me happy but that today, have disappointed me.

"you fucked anna."

ruby and sam, who were talking, stop and look at us in silence.

dean just looks at me, probably has no answer.

"i.."

"don't try to justify yourself because there is no reason in the world that he pushed you between her legs."

the tears fall copiously on my face, I didn't want to cry, especially not in front of him.

"i'm sorry i don't know what came over me."

i shake my head laughing bitterly because that's exactly what i expected.

"you are so different from when you came back dean and trust me it's something i understand, from what you went through it's obvious that every part of you has changed but not this dean, everything but not this. you fucked someone else while i was a few steps away."

now i can't stop the tears but i manage to stop dean when he tries to get closer.

"don't take another step and don't touch me. as soon as all this is over and i hope it's soon, you won't see me anymore. In these months i have accepted everything: your behavior, your wanting to keep me at a distance and your wanting to remain silent, i have accepted all of this because i love you dean but i cant stand the thought that you touched another woman."

the room falls silent, even ruby who always has a joke ready decides that this is not the best time.

when i leave the shed, no one is following me and i manage to stay alone with my thoughts even if i already have clear ideas: my relationship with dean is over.