#alex keller fanfic

[ebodebo]

Backyard Barbecue

NSFW CONTENT

—alex is your friends-with-benefits, and it’s your cousin's wedding, and you need a date.. (this whole plot was made just so he could eat box)

—alex keller x f!reader

—2.7k+

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"Please.." You beg Alex as you sit up in his bed, naked, with his fluffy comforter covering you. He sits on the edge, carefully putting his boot on, with his abdomen bare.

"You know I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't  desperate." You enunciate the last word. He turns to face you. "Desperate. Huh?" He raises a brow and turns back down to lace up his boot.

"Yes." You sigh. "My cousin is younger than me, and she's already getting married." You bring your knees up, so you can rest your head on them. "My aunts are always nagging me about when I'm gonna finally get a boyfriend." You huff out.

"Look, I feel for you—I really do—but they're going to know I'm not your boyfriend," he said, bending up and turning towards you.

"Don't make that face at me." He says, noticing your big puppy-dog eyes and deep frown. "What face?" You murmur, obviously lying.

"You know the face." He leans down to pick up a white shirt and slips it on. You silently curse and crawl your way across the bed to him with the whole comforter wrapped around you.

You rest your chin on his shoulder. "Please.." You purr as you press a kiss to his clothed shoulder.

"Uh-uh." He tuts. "What?" You question as you kiss your way up his neck and gently nibble at his ear. "I'm not-fuck-I'm not falling for that." He protests but makes no real effort to move away.

"Please.." You say again, this time whispering it directly in his ear. He could feel your hot breath, full of need. "Go with me." You leaned more on him, slowly dropping the blanket encasing your naked body so he could feel your nipples graze his shoulder as you leaned to look him in the eye.

He turned to look down at you, now at his eye level. "I'll make it worth your while." You grin, threading your fingers through his hair, gently tugging on the roots.

"Are you trying to barter sex?" He groaned out, a smirk playing on his lips. "Maybe." You play with the hem of the joggers he had on, slipping a finger beneath the waistband.

"God, you're gonna be the death of me." He huffed, roughly gripping your waist and pulling you onto him so you were straddling his lap. You could feel the fabric from his shirt rub against your bare nipples and the fabric from his joggers rub against your cunt.

He gripped you tighter, dragging his hand from your waist to grip your ass. "Uh-uh." You say, gripping his hand on your ass and moving it away. "You don't get to touch if you don't go." You use your hand to tug at his hair again.

"Fuck, fine." He gritts, bringing both hands to grip your ass. 

"Yay! Thank you." You exclaim, sliding off of him.

"Seriously." He huffs as you wonder to pick up your dress and bra off the floor, as you laugh at him. He doesn't stay sour for long as he notices the way your bare ass swings as you pick up your clothes.

"Jesus Christ, sweetheart." He leans forward, elbows on his knees. You pop back up and look at him. "Bad boy." You laugh out. "Quit looking at my ass, and get yours dressed."

"Why?" He sighed as he laid back on the bed. "Because we have to leave in thirty minutes." You casually said as you slipped your dress back on.

"It's today?" He twisted his head to face you, his voice carrying a lethal tone. "Surprise. Get dressed." You harp as you swipe some lipstick over your swollen lips. "God damn it." He grumbled as he begrudgingly got off the bed to head into the bathroom.

The ride to your cousins felt exhausting and long because Alex kept whining the whole time. Though, you didn't take his complaints too seriously because his hand rested on your thigh the entire drive.

You looked out the window to see the white, bricked, picked-fenced house—the house you had spent so many summers at. 

"We're here!" You chimed as you scooted closer to him to pull up the neck of the tie he pulled down as soon as you put it on him. 

"Was the tie really necessary?" He tilted his head, raising his hand to push a strand of hair away from your face. "I want you to make a good first impression." You gently pat him on the chest. 

"Let's go." You beamed.

You both made your way to the front door, which swung open without you even knocking on it.

"You made it!" Your cousin chimed, bringing you in for a tight hug. She made quick notice of the hunk of a man behind you. "You must be the boyfriend?" She asked, shamelessly looking him up and down.

"Yes, ma'am." He politely said, sticking his hand out.

"Oh, please. We're family!" She quickly brought him in for a hug, and he gave you a "help save me look" and you let out a quiet laugh. She let go. "Well, come on in! Your dad's inside." She stepped aside so you could both come in, but she gently grabbed your wrist and gave you a wink and a thumbs up.

"Nice catch." She whispered, referring to Alex. You let out a little laugh, covering your mouth. She led you both to the kitchen, where the rest of your family was. Alex noticed a familiar man leaning against the counter. He made his way over to him.

"Keller, what the hell are you doing here?" Captain Price questioned as he took a sip of his whiskey.

"I could ask you the same, Captain." He laughed out.

"Well, I'm-" Price begins.

"Dad!" You chimed, making your way over to Price and hugging him tightly. Alex's eyes widened. "Wha- Dad?" You pull away and tug on Alex's arm, so you're side-by-side. "Dad, this is my boyfriend, Alex." You beam as you thread your fingers through his.

"Boyfriend?" Price questions as his eyes dart to Alex's.

"Maybe boyfriend is a... strong word," Alex says, nervously scratching the back of his neck. "We've been dating for five months." You inform your dad, smiling.

"Is that right?" Price's eyes are still on Alex as he slowly sips his drink.

"Yes," you say as you turn to see your cousin struggling to bring in some fruit trays through the front door. "Sorry, let me go help her. Stay here." You say to Alex. His eyes widen, and he tries to grip your hand, but you are already off to the door.

"Keller." Price starts, as Alex turns back towards him. "What the hell are you doing with my daughter?" He gently places his whiskey glass down.

"Look, I didn't even know you had a daughter. You think I would have started dating her if I knew she was yours?" He counters. 

"I would hope not." Price cooly says as he crosses his arms. He notices Alex's pleading expression and decides to cut a little slack—just a little, though.

"Look, I know you're a good guy, and hell, she looks smitten. But that's my baby." Price gestures to her over by the door.

He continues. "If you do anything to hurt her, Keller, I'll-" 

"You'll kill me?" Alex interrupts, causing Price to let out a low chuckle.

"Christ, no. She would never speak to me again." Price leans a little closer to Alex. "But, I do know some guys who would if I asked." He's quick to step away from Alex and chuckle as he sees you approaching. He gives Alex a nod, and he puts on a fake laugh.

"Sounds like you two are getting along." You smile, grabbing Alex's hand. "We're going to go grab some food. You want anything, dad?"

"No, no. Your aunt already made me eat three plates." He pats his bloated stomach. You let out a laugh and drag Alex outside the back door to the burger station.

You assemble your burgers, carefully adding an array of veggies and a slice of cheese. As he puts ketchup on his bun, you turn towards him.

"Are you having fun?" You question shyly. 

"Why're you actin' all shy, sweetheart?"

"Well, you know." He raises a brow. "Because we aren't really da—" You are interrupted by a hand gently moving you aside. "Excuse me," the voice says. "Oh, sorry—Jack!" You smile, raising your arms to bring him in for a hug.

"I was wondering how long it would take ya," Jack said, encasing your body in a hug. It felt strange seeing him after all these years. You never dated, but your parents always joked that you two would get married.

You pulled away and looked at Alex, whose eyes were narrowed and his body visibly stiff. "This is my boyfriend, Alex." You grabbed his hand.

"Boyfriend?" Jack questioned, his eyes drifting to where your hands were connected. 

"That's right. Boyfriend." Alex confirmed, enunciating the last word.

You looked at him and made a confused expression but turned back to Jack. "So, are you having a good time?" You took Alex's cup of iced tea in his hand and sipped some. 

"I'm... ya." Jack's gaze slowly fell to the dip in between your breasts. 

"Eyes up," Alex commands, bringing his hand to rest on the small of your back. Jack immediately raises his eyes to meet Alex's as his face reddens at getting caught. "Sorry. I should. I... okay." Jack steps away from both of you, forgetting his plate with his burger on it on the table.

You turn to Alex with your hands on your hips. "What was that?" You question. "I don't know. Maybe he was busy?" He picks up his burger and takes a bite, playing dumb.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about, Keller." You continue. "I'm talking about you getting all jealous." He swallows. "Me? Jealous? When?" Widening his mouth at the accusation. 

"You so were. Oh my God!" You say, lightly hitting his bicep.

"I wasn't jealous. He was being weird." He explains. 

He pauses for a moment, trying to ease out his next words. "Have you two had sex?"

"What?" You laugh out. "No, Alex, we have not had sex." You grab a napkin off the table. "But, we've... done other stuff."

"Other stuff?" He shifts on his feet. "What other stuff?"

"Like you know.." You trail off.

"No, I don't know." He tilts his head, feeling his body tighten. "Go on." He pushes.

"I can't believe you're making me say it." You look down at the ground briefly. "Fine. Like oral or whatever," You continue before he can speak. "Well, he didn't like going down on me. It was mostly me going down on him."

"You're fucking serious?" He put his burger down on his plate. You nodded, taking another sip of his tea.

"I'm glad you like to though." You smile, drinking more tea. You tilt your head a little, a puzzled expression taking over your face. "You like to, right?"

He laughs. "You don't think I like to?"

"I don't know.." You tug on your bottom lip with your teeth.

He takes another bite of the burger, scanning your needy face and puffy lip tucked between your teeth.

"Where's the bathroom?" He roughly asks after swallowing. You weren't picking up what he was putting down. "It's... ah... to the right of the front door, then your turn to the left."

"Care to help me?" He asks, setting his burger down. He then grabs his tea from your hand and sets it next to his plate.

"Oh.. sure." You smile as you grab his hand and direct him inside.

It was nice everyone had moved outside, so now you and Alex didn't have to worry about anyone hearing you two.

You stepped into the bathroom first, and Alex followed suit, locking the door as soon as he stepped in. He was quick to connect his lips to yours. His hand wandered down your body, stopping just above your ass.

You begin to sink to your knees, but Alex quickly pulls you up and places you on the edge of the sink.

"You don't want me to?" You skeptically question, shifting on the cool porcelain of the sink.

"I only want to taste you." He sinks to his knees and pools up the fabric of your dress so it's gathered around your waist. You eye him and bring your hand to thread through his light hair. 

He places hot, open kisses on your lower thigh, slightly nipping at your skin, causing you to squirm. He continued moving up your thigh, painfully slow. You could feel his facial hair graze you, sending goosebumps across your skin.

"Can you.. can you just.." You threw your head back as he made contact with your upper thigh, grazing your cunt. 

"What was that?" He said, a smirk playing on his lip.

"Can you just.." You tried to gently scoot his head closer to where you ached.

"Talk to me. What do you need?" He gruffly said against your thigh.

"Fuck. I need your tongue." He let out a rough laugh that vibrated throughout your entire body. He leaned in closer and licked a small strip across the outside of your dripping cunt.

"Fuck." You moaned, tightening your grip on his hair.

His tongue was firm but not too firm. It felt just right against you. You craved more. No, you needed more. It was almost as if he read your mind because he slipped his tongue in you so it was grazing your clit.

You buck against his face at the contact. "I swear you're a mind-reader." 

"I know what you like." He gently licks your clit, making you cry out in pleasure.

"We gotta' be a little quiet, baby. You know I like to hear you, but I don't think your family would." He gruffed as he took your clit between in lips and sucked it slowly.

"Alex." You moaned out, leaning your head against the bathroom mirror. 

"Feel good?" He murmured against you as he licked your clit.

You quickly nodded.

"What was that?" He paused his actions, awaiting a response.

"Yes. So good." You whine out, trying to move him back.

"Good." He dipped his head back down and lightly licked your clit, then dragged his tongue along your inner lips, earning sweet moans from you. He moved back to your clit and drew soft circles on it. Once your legs began to shake, he knew you were close.

"I'm so-" You began, voice gravely.

"I know." He finished as he started to increase his pace. He kept it consistent as your moans became more frequent and your body pulsed.

He reached his arm up to gently caress your inner thigh, squeezing and kneading the fat of it, just how you like him to. You felt your stomach tighten, and the pleasure clouding your mind as your arousal covered his tongue.

He hadn't stopped his pace until he knew you were down from your high, standing up and letting you lean on him. 

You pulled back a little to look up at him. "I know you didn't want to come to this. But I'm really glad you did." You smile, gripping his arm.

"You're just saying that because I gave you an orgasm." He laughs, gently rubbing your cheek with his hand.

"No. I'm serious." You laugh. "I know you don't want to label this, but-"

"I want you to be my girlfriend." He says, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"Really?" Your eyes widened in surprise. "What changed?"

"Just came to my senses." He confessed. "And the thought of you with any other guy doesn't make me so happy." He smiled.

You smile back at him before your eyes widen again. "You'll have to meet my uncles. Don't worry, they're great." You say as you grip his shoulder to slip off the sink. 

"They work with my dad." You confirm as he fixes your dress.

"Oh, maybe I know them. What are their names?" He casually questions. 

"Simon, Johnny, and Kyle." Your eyes beam. "They're the best!"

"I'm so fucked." He sighs. 

reblogs & comments are encouraged!

[gothicflowers]

Listen, Alex has been consuming my brain for weeks. It’s a whole issue (it’s not an issue, I love it really). So can I get something that’s maybe a little darker with him? Doesn’t have to be too dark, just maybe showing that side that isn’t the golden retriever we all love. Maybe a little more of that something that makes him such a good CIA operative.

Something protective/possessive perhaps? Can be NSFW or not, totally up to you.

Also, I hope you’re doing well! I know what it’s like to just need a distraction and get out of your head for a bit 💙

(MDNI +18)

Sorry this took me forever but I’ve been fighting waves of ADHD paralysis that even my meds cant fight. And I’m doing a little better, not fully healthy but I’m getting there❤️

ALEX KELLER IS A GOLDEN RETRIEVER.

At least that’s what he lets you see.

Because he doesn’t want you to know how dark and dirty he can be. Your family is fully convinced that he is the perfect man, which he truly is. Always getting you flowers and planning dates or small getaways. You clearly won the lottery with Alex. You see Alex as a night in shining armor, a kiss from the stars.

But Alex sees you as the dusk sky, beautiful colors that light up the sky before the light disappears. Soft delicate hands to hold, no blood or dirt under your nails. Your voice is the crackling of a fireplace in deep December snow that warms his soul. You’re the flower that blooms from the spring frost after he tills the ground with his bare hands.

Alex has fought for too long and shed too much blood in the name of justice and peace for anything to take away the one pure thing the universe owes him. You.

But sometimes dispute all his training and good intentions you see small glimmers of what Alex could be if he didn’t keep himself in check. Sometimes it’s in the way you end up bent over the counter with his fingers laced tightly in your hair as he rants on about this little bitchy attitude you’ve had since you woke up. He knows you love it and it feeds a dark pit of control that burns for you. Every thrust making you gasp. All Alex can grunt out of his gritting teeth is MINE. MINE. MINE. And is he gonna let you come? No. Not unless your pretty little eyes are welling with lust and love filled tears begging to cum. He’ll eventually let go of your hair and hold you by the jaw and let you confess that you just needed some dick, and he’s the only one that can satisfy your craving. Such a sweet thing, such perfection, so delicate.

Alex doesn’t mind letting other guys how possessive he can get. He didn’t like that guy that keep trying to dance with you at the bar. It’s surely a coincidence that guy slipped and hit his head on the sink. Other times it’s simply staring them down with a look that even Simon wouldn’t mess with.

When your ex tried to weasel their way back into your heart they abruptly stopped. They sent flowers, chocolates, jewelry, everything they could think of to win you back. You figured they finally got the message that you didn’t want them. But in reality your ex came home to a large envelope packed full of evidence of everything they’ve ever done, things you never knew about. Paired with a simple note “leave what is mine alone or else”.

Alex never wants you to know about what he truly does. Would you ever hold his hand again knowing how blood stained they are? Would those soft lips still say I love you? Despite his pure intentions he knows not all of his orders he’s been given were good. So he just tells you he works in surveillance. It eases your mind thinking he’s hiding on a roof somewhere, not down in a gunfight.

When he comes home after an extended time away you’re distraught with worry that he lost his leg. You will die never knowing the truth about what went down that day.

It’s not always that he wants to keep you in the dark, but sometimes it’s just truly classified information that you can’t know. And shouldn’t, it would give you nightmares. This man could rewrite history books if he shared what he knows.

Alex keeps hidden security cameras around the house. You don’t even realize they’re installed. He’s got extensive knowledge of technology and he used it to his advantage. He’s very good about keeping you a secret from his job but sometimes on those late nights he just needs to see you sleeping peacefully at home. And yes there is a tracker on your phone. Can’t lose track of his sweet little angel.

Everyone highly underestimates him. Too soft hearted, too eager, too naïve. The way his eyes darken and chest heaves as he stands covered in someone else’s blood shocks a room of experienced soldiers. A version of a man they rarely see, a version of a man you don’t know. Yet that version of him is who checks the house when he hear something at night. The version who corrects people who speak to you rudely. The version that growls in your ear from behind as your bodies tangle. The version who got rid of all of your problems. The Alex that will pull the earth apart and unleash hell to create a heaven on earth for you alone.

Alex is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

[lovifie]

For my dear @lyralein (@support un-naughty my girl, you coward!!) and her mastermind of a mind, that came with the (correct) thought that Mr. Alex Keller would be a big shot at French porn. And et voilà! ✨The porn✨ (and when I say porn, I meant it. There is no plot.)

Monsieur Keller

Smut | 4320 words (Back to the masterlist)

Working for the CIA has granted Alex the opportunity to visit a multitude of countries, to meet unbelievable people and to push his limits on uncountable occasions.

In a couple too many times he has been at the verge of death, buildings collapsing, missiles flying a tad too close for his liking, friends turned enemies in the blink of an eye… But after all, that's what he signed up for.

Plus, sometimes, it also had some advantages.

Like meeting you.

And hearing your voice so sweetly call for him. “Monsieur, Keller!”

He whips his head around towards the sound of your voice like a dog well trained, turning to look at you standing on the porch of the little palace you lived in.

He drinks you in, standing barefoot on the first step of the short stair, pretty white summer dress accentuating every curve of your body and moving along the jiggle of your body as you effusively waved your hand at him.

He takes advantage of the distance, enough for you to not be able to tell the ungentlemanly places he rests his eyes at. The top of the dress, pulled to the center in a bow and pushing your boobs together calling him in like a siren's song.

He doesn't peel his eyes away from you, unable to do so; walking up to where you stand smiling like an angel upon him.

You shouldn't be calling him. The daughter of the owner of the wine yard shouldn't be talking to the lowest class of the employees. Alex's body is covered on a thin layer of sweat from working outside under the sun, hands grimey with dirt and clothes less than appropriate to be talking to you.

Still, when Alex slightly kicks the stairs to remove the loose dirt from his boots to not bring it inside, you are quick to jump at him, grabbing his hand and pulling him under the shade.

“You shouldn't be working at this time! It's too hot!” You reprimand him, the french accent obvious on your tone making him smile.

“Désolé, mademoiselle…” He attempts to excuse himself, cutting himself short when he sees the offended expression on your face at his french.

“Where did you say you are from again, monsieur Keller?” You ask, trying to switch the language to English again.

Alex looks at you, trying to remember what his last lie was so he can match it. “Quebec.”

You nod, raising your eyebrows at the doubt he is actually from Quebec but choosing to indulge him on his lie. You point to the washbowl on the table, a kind smile still on your face as you order him. “Wash your hands and face, I'll get us something to drink.”

And with that you disappear into the house, letting him the full view of your behind as you walk away. He turns again towards the bowl, using the fresh water to wash off the dirt from his face and hands, cleaning under his nails to make sure not a crumb of dirt has the chance to pollute you.

The door creaks when you open it again, a small tray on your hand that you quickly set on the table beside him. An unnecessary intricate jar full of iced lemon water with two just-as-intricate glasses beside it. But the first thing you grab is the small towel with your family initials embroidered in it.

He picks it up, patting his face and hands dry and checking he did a good job at cleaning himself before handing it back. You drop it on the table, slightly bending forward to pour the water on the glasses, and Alex's eyes are glued to the curve of your ass.

The heat of the summer hits you too, no matter how much of a local you are and he can tell by your clothing choices. The dress you are wearing is so dainty the beauty marks of your skin are visible through the fabric, as well as your lack of underwear.

It causes Alex to swallow a groan at his reaction over such a small detail when he feels his dick stir on his pants at the thought of pulling your dress up. His hand moves on its own, creeping closer and closer towards the flimsy material keeping the touch of your skin from him.

You turn around, filled glass in hand, jumping when you feel his hand rest on the curve of your hip but still, you look at him with the warmest smile on your face. You look down to where his hand is placed, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“So pretty…” He mumbles, grabbing the glass on your hand without moving his other hand.

“The dress?” You ask, warmth rising to your cheeks at his touch while you try not to break the contact with his blue eyes.

Alex furrowed his eyebrows for a second confused before softening his expression. “...yeah, pretty dress.”

He is the one to break eye contact, dragging his eyes over your body, down to the hem of your dress. He bends forwards, glass still on his hand as the other moves to rest right where the dress ends.

Teasingly, he walks his middle and pointer fingers up your thigh, flicking the skirt up with each step and exposing more bare skin of the leg, while you watch on with bated breath.

He looks at your face again, so he doesn't miss your expression when he finally lets the palm of his hand rest on the softness of your thigh; dangerously close to your core.

“Monsieur Ke- Monsieur Keller!” You call him, trying to sound scandalized when he starts to close his hand, the fat of your inner thigh being squeezed.

But no matter how appalled you try to look, leaning back against the table; Alex notices how you slightly pull your thighs together, pushing his hand towards the middle in the process.

He turns his wrist in one swift motion, with the palm of his hand resting on your cunt. Making you jump to wrap your hand around his wrist, keeping his hand between your thighs as you squeeze them together.

His index finger moves between your folds making you whine as you close your eyes, your hold on his wrist losing strength. It doesn't take long for him to feel wetness dribble over his digit. The feeling making you unclench your legs, allowing him more space between them.

The arousal slowly dripping from your core allows him to slide more easily his finger along your folds, making it easy for him to probe at your entrance, making you close your eyes as little moans and whimpers start to fall from your lips.

Such delicious sounds making him thirsty, but not for the glass of water on his hand. He tries to set it down on the table, but unable to peel his eyes from your pleasured expression he knocks it down making the water run over the surface of the table.

It snaps you out of it, finally pushing his hand away and you stand, turning around to pick up the glass. “I- I better clean it up.” You hurriedly say as you place the glass back on the tray as well as everything else on the table.

He tries to call your name when you turn, but his words die on the back of his throat when he sees the wet fabric of your dress stuck to your plush ass. And it is enough to have him walk behind you, following you inside the house and into the kitchen just a couple of steps behind you.

“You were right, I shouldn't have been working…” He says, making you turn once more with a surprised expression on your face. “I think I might be overheating, mademoiselle...”

You look up to him as he walks closer to you, unable to say anything, intoxicating on his proximity. And when his hands finally wrap themselves around your waist, pulling you against his hard chest and his lips crash against your, the only thing you can do is kiss him back.

He moves his hands up, cupping your face as he hums at the satisfaction of finally feeling your lips against his. Then takes one more step forwards, keeping you trapped between the countertop and his body.

You can feel his groin pressed against your abdomen, feeling it grow and harden with each swim of his hips against your body. The need to feel his skin under your touch making you pull his shirt out of his trouser so you can bury your hand under, your nails dragging over the firm muscle of his waist.

His lips pull apart from yours to kiss his way down your neck, sucking your taste in and letting his tongue roam flat against your skin, feeling your pulse rise up at his actions.

One of your hands moves to the back of his head, tangling your fingers with his hair as you push his face into your neck. “Alex…” You softly moan when his tongue presses on the juncture of your neck and shoulder.

He shushes you, smile appearing on his face. “Now, now, sunshine… Where did Monsieur Keller go?” He asks, pulling back, standing to his whole height as he lets his hands rest on the counter behind you, caging you in. “Let's not lose our manners, alright?”

You nod, mimicking his movements when he does; you mind already getting driven by your body and not your brain. You follow his gaze when he looks down and see his hands pulling your dress up again. He licks his lips at the sight of your thighs trembling with anticipation and he knows that if he pulled them apart they would be glossy with your arousal sliding down.

He chuckles when he sees you look so bashful, averting his eyes but still unable to look away from him, needing to see what his next move will be.

To your dissatisfaction, he lets the dress down; which makes you look at him with questioning doe eyes when he steps back. You are about to question the reason for his change of heart when you see him pull the chair from the kitchen table.

He turns it, sliding it until it's right in front of you. You look from the chair to his face, questioning his plan; and instead of answering your unspoken question he simply sits down, pushing it even more forward. He pulls your dress up again, stuffing the hem of the dress into your cleavage as if it was a napkin to keep it away from his meal.

He pushes down on your chest with the same movement making you lean back on the counter, propped up on your elbows and with a seamless movement, he slides his hands behind your knees and effortlessly moves then to rest over his shoulders.

The surprise of the movement combined with the way he presses his tongue flat against your folds takes every ounce of strength away from your body making you lay flat on your back.

He groans at the taste of your arousal on his tongue, his fingertips sinking into the fat of your thighs around his head when he dives in again. Sliding his tongue between your folds, catching at your clit with a flick.

It makes your thigh tremble, threatening to close; which only encourages him further. Repeating the motion, feeling them flex on each side of his head; his hearing getting muffled with each stripe he licks.

But no matter how tightly you suffocate his skull between them, he can still hear loud and clear the moans and whines dripping from your lips.

He finally opens his eyes, not even aware that he had closed them as soon as he got a taste, letting the rest of his senses enjoy your body. But once he opens his eyes, he can't close them back.

From between your legs, the first thing he sees is your abdomen flexing at the feeling of his mouth lapping at your clit, your back arching at the attack of his tongue. The dress that he so carelessly stuffed on itself, sliding out of your cleavage with your movements. He wishes he could undo the bow keeping your boobs from his prying eyes, but not yet, not when he can prolong it and savor every minute for longer.

The only thing he doesn't love it's that he can't see your face, your head falling back; only letting him see your chin. He wishes he could see your face, see the product of his work in the shape of a pleasured expression just the way he's listening. But he'll see it later, when he's buried deep into you.

For now, he buries his tongue as deep as he cans into your cunt, feeling your inner walls clamp down on it when his nose rubs against your clit deliciously as he shakes his head. It makes you spread your legs, urging him deeper with a hand on his head. You manage to prop yourself on your free elbow, looking down at him. With your fingers tangled on his brunette hair and his fingers digging into the meat of your thigh to keep you close.

His pupils are blown, two black voids looking at you when you finally manage to make eye contact with him for a fraction of a second; before it is the last drop throwing you over the edge.

Your legs closing against his head again, unable to muffle the moan of his name as you come down from your high. His head is pressed so tightly against your cunt he can't even breath, but he would so gladly die there.

The moment your legs free his head he pulls back just enough to breathe, inhaling your smell in the way. He kisses the inner side of your tight leaving a wet spot and then stands again, standing between your legs licking his lips like an animal after eating.

The sight of your body, sprawled and fucked under him, get his dick impossibly harder. Then you raise your hand, using your thumb to collect the juices left on his mustache and before you can pull your hand back to lick it yourself, he grabs your wrist keeping it close and sucks your finger into his mouth. His scorching hot tongue cleaning the juices from your hand without breaking eye contact, it makes you whimper softly; cupping his face with your thumb still inside his mouth and you pull him closer.

“Monsieur Keller…” You whine, calling him like a moth to a light. “Please…”

“I know, love, I know.” He says once he pulls your finger out and he kisses you softly, tasting yourself on his tongue. His hands find their way around your waist pulling you closer and you circle his hips with his legs.

He picks you up, just for a second before sitting back down on the chair with you on his lap. Your hands rest on his shoulders, being you the one to kiss him this time. He can feel you grind your hips against him, the softest whine falling from your lips at the feel of the rough material of his jeans against your sensible cunt.

He moves his hand down, undoing his belt so he can pull his length free. You wish you could see it, but the dress serves as a tent when it slaps against his abdomen. The little wet spot of his seed turning translucent the fabric so you can see the red tip underneath, angry with the lack of attention.

You raise your hips, letting him slap his length against your folds; your arousal getting it slicked and desperate for the feeling of your warm walls engulfing him like a vice.

But he's not the only one desperate for it, and the moment his tip catches on your entrance you pull down in a swift motion taking all of him in, moaning into each other's mouths at the feeling. His hands rests on your hips, keeping you in place.

“Stay there for me, sweetheart.” He moans, head falling back over the backrest of the chair. “Just keep it in for me, fuck…”

His hips move in the smallest thrust, the movement would pass unnoticed if it wasn't for how deep it reaches inside of you. He finally pulls his head back up, coming face to face with your chest. And no matter how pretty the dress is or how good it looks on you, it's the only thing keeping him from seeing you and it's time it goes away.

His hands grab each side of the bow, easily getting it undone and groaning when your boobs finally spill over. He hugs your middle, burying his face between your breasts taking your aroma in before he starts to lap at them.

Licking, sucking and biting every centimeter, his hips immobile making you whine pathetically at the delicious torture of both his attention and the lack of it.

You whine his name again, needing more than just his mouth on your chest. “I know, I know, sweetheart. Just let me taste you some more…” He tries to say, words dying down on his throat when you begin to move your hips.

“T-tu… tu es… trés…” He tries to say again, so enamored with the feel of your tight cunt around his cock it makes him switch languages.

He doesn't get to finish his attempt before you push your hand over his mouth, pushing his head back. “Enough with the shitty French, Monsieur Keller…” You moan, the feeling of his length hitting every sweet spot inside of you getting ruined by his continuous butchering of your language.

He apologised against your hand, doing it again when you beg him to fuck you, your thighs getting tired of the cramped position. He pulls your dress up, pulling it off your body, finally having you completely exposed to him. His hands roam your body, getting distracted from his original plan.

Only remembering when you whine his name again, picking you up to lay you down on the kitchen table like the most precious and delicate piece of art. You prop yourself up on your elbows, looking at him with lust and hunger in your eyes.

He spreads your legs, laying his dick flat against your folds, sliding it in between making the two of you moan softly. It finally gives you the chance to catch a glimpse of his length.

The droplet of precum slowly falls over your mount of venus when he glides forwards, allowing you to see the glistering layer of your arousal mixing with his.

He moves you to lay on your side, moving your leg up, your knee almost touching your shoulder when you prop yourself up on your elbow. And at the same time he buries himself to the hilt, the double stretch making your mouth fall open as you look at him, a deaf moan waiting to be spilled.

“Big stretch, sweetheart “ He grunts as he sets himself inside of you, bending down to kiss your open mouth. He might have already been inside of you when you were both sitting down, but the new position has you feeling it all again as if he didn't.

The moan finally comes to life when his hand meets his shaft, collecting the fluids flooding for your cunt to wet his thumb and rubbing soft circles around your clit. You moan his name, your hand grabbing his shirt to ground yourself.

“Fucking hell, sunshine… Taking me so fucking good…” He moans, hiding his face on the crook of your neck. “Fuck… This cunt was fucking made to take me, love. Fucking perfect, you are. My fucking perfect sunshine.”

His thrusts start to pick up the pace, the sound of skin slapping on skin getting louder and louder; only overshadowed by the song of moans falling from one mouth to the other.

He is still almost completely dressed, his pants still over the curve of his ass. So slowly sliding down with each snap of his hips, the belt clinking with each movement. It works as proof of his desperation to be inside, no matter how uncomfortable the clothes are, it is not worth it wasting time on taking it off.

Not when your cunt is sucking him in so deliciously, each rub at your hooded clit making you clench around him; urging him impossibly deeper. His shaft dragging along your wall, caressing each and every sweet spot inside of you.

It has you closing your eyes with your eyebrows furrowed, an expression that would make him think you were in pain if it wasn't by the loud moans of his name leaving your lips like a mantra.

“Open your eyes, please, sweetheart… Look at me, love.” He moans, moving his free hand to cup your face so you will look at him. Resting his forehead against yours, your breath hitting his chin. “I wanna see your pretty face when you cum, sweetheart, please.”

You finally open your eyes, looking right into his when he slightly moves back and it is like an arrow went through his heart. He notices how your free hand grabs the arm on your face, not wanting to let escape any kind of contact and his heart melts when he notices you lay your face on his hand, kissing his palm.

Such a small gesture that has his blood rushing to his head making the tip of his ears blush, as if he wasn't balls deep into you. But he feels his ball tighten with the want for release, and he can't miss the opportunity to feel you come undone around his dick.

So using every ounce of self restraint he pulls the hand from your face away, moving it back to where you are connected, rubbing his thumb over your clit making you mewl.

He can feel you get tighter and tighter as your orgasm approaches, making it harder for him to move freely at the immensely pleasurable feeling.

It's only when he finally feels you unclench, your head falling back in a silent cry and your legs shaking slightly; that he feels you cum, your arousal spurting out of your drenched cunt with each thrust of his hips.

He groans, having missed your fuck out expression when you let your head fall and deprived him of the desired sight. So he moves his hand from your clit, moving it to the back of your head to move it forward so you look right at him.

And you look so beautiful, if he died right there he would die happy, so he can't help himself when he bends forwards, kissing you sloppy and nasty with his horny brain.

The last thrusts of his hips hard and deep making you bounce and whine, moaning softly and long when you feel him spill deep inside of you. A shiver running down your spine at the warm sensation, your hand on his shirt falling down to help you support yourself.

And it's when you pull apart from the kiss, hair sticking to your forehead from the sweat, your chest rising at an unsteady pace and your cunt still pulsing around his length that he realizes how deep under his skin you have buried yourself.

He can't keep living like this, not able to sleep in the same bed as you every night, waiting for another opportunity like this, hoping everyday will be the day. He needs to see your smile everyday, to have your number, for you to have his surname, everything. Absolute smitten with you, enamored even. Falling so deep in love after such a short period of time, his heart aching at the thought of pulling away, how could he not love you when you are so obviously his soulmat-

“D'accord! That was a good one, let's wrap everything up, tout le monde!” The director shouts, bringing the situation down on Alex.

He suddenly realizes everyone around the two of you, the cameras, the crew, the assistants, the director.

The whole vineyard owner's daughter plot of the porn movie was a bit odd from the beginning, but when he laid his eyes on him he didn't give a damn about the plot.

Being a CIA agent had made Alex live in strange situations, but starring on a porn movie in a foreign country had to be the top one.

He barely remembers how this was related with the mission, something about some suspicious money being moved along with the crew. But in all honesty, he would also move all his money after you.

Especially when you clench for a last time around his girth, the aftershock of you orgasm that makes him groan as he finally pulls out. “Sorry” The two of you mumble, chuckling at the echo and blushing like you didn't just fuck eachother brains off.

He helps you stand back on your feet, his hands resting on your waist and unable to peel his eyes away from your face.

“Are you alright, Alex?” You ask, rubbing his biceps in a consoling way.

And you look at him so softly, almost unaffected by the whole ordeal, that it sends Alex into a spiral. Were those noises you were making real? Was the way you were clinging onto his shoulder true? Would you moan his name just like you moaned his surname?

He needed to know the answer to those questions, and there was only one way to find out.

“Y-Yeah, don't worry about it, love.” He says making you smile wider. “But I was wondering… do you know any good restaurants in the area? Maybe one you wouldn't mind having dinner at with me?”

[thisfanisgonesorry]

when you sleep — alex keller

kinktober day 5: somno (dont ask abt day 4)

the desperation from being apart for so long

tags: smut, somno / sleepy sex, dubcon (w/ explicit consent), breeding, light cumeating, light cunnilingus, thigh fucking

💤

He walked into the apartment with an annoyed groan, dropping his bag with a loud thud and kicking his boots off. His body was tense and his eyebrows were furrowed, it took everything in him to keep his agitated mumbles to himself.

Getting home was delayed by a week which already had him on edge, there was nothing more he wanted than to come home, but then instead of getting home at a tame 6 p.m like intended, it was 3 in the morning and the one face he wanted to see would’ve already been fast asleep.

He stood above the bed, shucking off his uniform, his eyes stayed glued to the calm, sleeping figure of his lover as he threw the damned uniform to a corner of the room to be cleaned up after he’d got some rest.

He unzipped his pants and tugged them to his thighs before a curt ‘fuck’ hissed from between his lips. He kicked them to the side, the ball of his palm rubbing over his growing erection. 

“Baby?” He cooed sweetly, crawling into bed behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. “Baby, wake up.” He pleaded with a kiss on the shoulder as his hardened bulge pressed into the soft curve of my backside.

“Mhm?”

“Angel, I’m home.” He sighed to himself, feeling the relief of some of the tension. I mumbled his name and attempted to roll over to face him but he kept me firm in place. “No, stay there.” He whispered.

He grinded his hips against me softly for a moment, there was no set rhythm and was based entirely on instinct and desperation alone. His hands fiddled with the hem of my shirt, resting on the soft skin of my stomach as he kissed my neck and shoulder, earning quiet, content hums in response.

His hands dug into the waistband of my underwear, tugging them down gently. “You okay?” He asked shortly, earning a nod and an affirmative hum. “Just let me—“ He pulled his own underwear down and slid his wet, leaky dick between my thighs.

“S’okay.” My hands found his and played with them as I slowly began to wake up, still drowsed by sleep.

“Missed you so goddamn much.” He pleaded mindlessly. “Hated fucking my fist. I’m so fucking pent up, angel.”

His hips started thrusting, dragging his dick against my thighs. “Ah, fuck, so soft.” He choked out, his grip on my waist tightening as he sped up the pace, methodically moving his hips to his own release.

He was overly sensitive from neglecting his own needs while away from home. It had been too long away, slight gasps, pants and whines leaving his throat at the movements. Too long since he felt the soft skin of my body — too long that he’d been able to touch me like this. He was writhing at the soft plush of my thighs wrapping around his needy dick.

“Sorry, not usually like this.” He gritted out, embarrassed by his desperation. “Gonna cum all over your thighs, baby.” He confessed with a scrunched up face, his forehead resting against my shoulder.  “Jus’ go back to sleep, baby, I’ll finish up.”

“Y’can fuck me.” I murmured into the pillow. 

He let out a soft exhale. “Yeah? I feel your pussy leakin’ all over my cock.” His breathing was ragged and harsh as he tried to keep his movements steady. “I’ll fuck you proper, promise. I’ll make it good f’you.” 

I let out a soft sigh and moved against him, the tip of his dick brushing against my bundle of nerves, the slickness coating his achingly hard erection. “Alex.” I breathed as a warning. “Jus’ fuck me.” My voice was doused in sleep, I leant back into him before lazily rolling on my back and tugging at him. 

“Angel, I don’t..” He took a sharp inhale before pressing a soft kiss onto my lips, his fingers trailing my jaw. “God, I love you.” He whispered, his original defiance melting away as he climbed on top of me.

He pressed a dozen or so kisses onto my face as he lined himself up. He rubbed the squishy head between the folds, groaning inwardly and enjoying the view despite the dim room. The only light was that from the ensuite, revealing just enough. His tip was a dark red, almost purple, from how much he needed this.

His hands were preoccupied, one languidly stroking himself while he felt the slickness coat his dick, and the other taking a handful of the loose sheet. “You fuck yourself while ‘ve been gone?” He asked, his voice was tender and soft; filled with adoration for the baby he’s missed so much.

“Mhm.” I spoke sleepily, gradually waking up despite my exhaustion, my eyes glued to watching him rub himself against me. “Only fingers. Wanted y’to come back wit’ me all tight.”

“Awh, honey.” He crooned despite the raggedness behind his voice. The tip caught against the hole and his eyes fluttered briefly before pushing in. “You’re so tight, angel, fuck — that’s a good girl.”

“Like that.” I whined out. “Love feeling you after you’ve been gone.” 

His response was quick, sharp and breathless. “Me too.” He panted, burying himself to the hilt slowly, letting both of us feel the stretch to its full extent, basking in it like morning sun. “Even after these months, you take me perfectly, sweet girl.” His voice choked out.

He reached hilt, his tip nudging against my back wall and his balls flush against my ass. He holds the position for a moment, causing a whine to drag out of my throat. “Al, baby, c’mon.” I pleaded gently, trying to shuffle against him.

“Stop, please.” He pleaded, his voice dropping to an octave that I’d never heard from him before — his muscles tensed, some of them trembling from the pressure. “I’m gonna cum, give me a moment.” He confesses with a string of whimpers, too enveloped by the feeling to bite them back.

I huffed in amusement, resting my eyes and sinking down into the pillows. “That needy?”

“Basically been edging myself for the last few weeks.” He joked dryly with a shaking voice. “Hated my hand so fuckin’ much, wasn’t enough, couldn’t..” He paused, trying to ration his breathing as I clenched around him, not entirely intentionally, he hunched over slightly as my body pleaded for movement. “Took too long to cum, so I’d give up.. Couldn’t fuckin’ do it, needed it to be you.”

His words were filthy, though they sounded like a love confession and in his own way, it was. He leaned closer to my face, pressing enough kisses to ease the pressure. 

“Let me take you.” He whispered. “Please, I’ll fuckin’ worship you after, but I’m so fucking— I need you, please, I need to cum.” He begged, he actually begged. This was a man that’d taken more lives than he can count, sent all over the world to kill — but here he was, begging after months of sexual frustration.

“Y’so pretty when you beg.” I teased and his hands twitched, his hands digging into my hips, crescent moon-shapes onto the flesh as he restrained himself. A whispered ‘please’ escaped his lips like a cherry on top, and I basked in the dominance for a moment. “What do you want?” 

“Want you under me. Been wanting your pretty li’l ass in the air, been picturing your pretty legs spread for me, showin’ me that pretty fuckin’ pussy, just..” He trailed off with a choked groan, the way his voice shook was clear enough to tell you that he couldn’t even think straight. “God, puttin’ y’self on display for me to just take.”

I shuffled under his tight grip, his fingers brushing my sides as he held himself with soldier-like restraint. I placed my hands over his, biting back all the snarky comments I had to make about his pleads. “So take it.”

His mind went blank and it was like he was seeing stars, he slid himself out and was careful, incredibly gentle, as he flipped me over. I laid on my stomach briefly and he ran his hands up and down my back, feeling the fabric of the shirt, before I pushed myself up onto my knees. I pressed myself against his hips, earning a twitch from his erection as it leant against the curve of my ass.

His hands landed on the soft skin of my backside, moving me forward before his dominant hand drifted downwards, his index and thumb spreading the folds so he could get a good look, watching the way the separation caused strings of slick between them, coating the tips of his fingers.

“Love you.” He babbled as a ‘thank you’ at the view, his other hand continued to push my position into place, trying to find a way that was more comfortable on my joints so he could just bury himself into me and never leave. My face was pressed comfortably into my pillow and I whined out for him.

He pressed himself slowly to the hilt with a soft groan. “That’s my girl.” He praised, leaning over me and pressing a kiss onto my shoulder and down my back, his fingers brushing through my hair. “Y’feel so much better than I remember.”

His words went straight to my core, the warm tingle making me clench and squeeze around him. His fingers began to dig into my scalp, holding it out of the way so he got a pleasant view of my neck and shoulders. He was mesmerised by the way my shoulders moved as I breathed and the way my throat moved as I moaned and swallowed thickly, my cheek pressing into the soft fabric and my mouth making an ‘O’ shape to keep my breathing steady at the sharp tension.

“You’re so lovely, angel.” He praised, beginning his gradual thrusts, slow enough to reminisce on what he’s missed. “So sweet to me, y’re lettin’ me have you like this.. Could’ve jus’ let me fuck your thighs, gone to sleep.” He sighed contently, not at all upset at the previous concept, he would’ve been just fine with it. His words were that of a love drunk lunatic, rambling every earnest word he could come up with. “I could’ve jus’ cuddled up to you ‘n’fucked you proper tomorrow but god, just..”

“Love you too much.” I mumbled into the pillow, feeling him fuck me further into the soft fabric. His hands on my hips dragged me to meet his movements, a sweet need to keep me comfortable while he literally took what he wanted.

His breath was still raggedy as he tried to make this as pleasant for both parties, though it was well known this wouldn’t be how sex usually was considering how he needed to let out his pent up frustrations. “Such a good girl, y’know I’ve wanted you for so long.” He praised, feeling incredibly grateful that he wouldn’t have to wait any longer. “My memory never does you justice.”

I muffled my sounds through the pillow as he moved us in tandem. I wiggled my hips at him and he hissed, his fingers dug into the plump flesh of my ass. “Take what’s yours, Alex.” I murmured into the pillow, my head bobbing at his thrusts.

“Always.” He whispered, his hands drifting. He enjoyed the fistful of ass, though his other hand continued to run up and down my spine, his hands dragging under the fabric of my tank shirt, his fingers brushing my hair to the side to display my shoulders to him. He continued to hunch himself over, pressing kisses onto parts of my back, feeling the muscles tense.

His hands wrapped around my hair once again, a makeshift ponytail as he displayed my neck to him fully. A kiss on the back of my neck, his teeth grazing slightly. His hands and lips tingling with the need to remember every inch of the body displayed in front of him.

“Your hair is so soft.” He praised, littering kisses on my neck and shoulder, trying to find any sense of closeness to cure the loneliness that seeped his bones while away. “And your skin is so sweet.”

He was winding me up, reaching places that haven’t been touched since his departure, the spongy flesh stretching to swallow him whole as he filled the space perfectly, and even after months, his muscle memory pushed him into just the right places.

Lewd sounds fell from my lips, a sharp gasp as he nuzzled against the spot of heaven. My eyes fell closed, threatening to roll back into my skull, his fingernails massaging my scalp, threatening to pull my hair back and bend my neck to unmuffle the sounds into the pillow. I whined out for him, and he conceded.

He pulled away from my neck, his body completely upright as he stopped moving my hips to meet his hips, instead pulling himself back and forth more suitably, holding my hips firmly in place so I couldn’t fuck myself back on him if I tried, or at least without a notable amount of effort. “Could take a bite out of that ass.” He grunted, slowing his movements to stop himself from cumming, though it earned him a dejected sigh, uncontent.

“I was close.” I tried to squirm, though his trained restraint held me firmly. He hushed me quietly as he moved slowly, depressingly so — enough to keep me sated while fighting off his own orgasm.

 “Touch yourself for me.” He whispered, crooning sweetly. “Help me, let me use you.”

My legs struggled to hold myself up, wanting to buckle and go limp. I twitched around him as I rubbed figure 8’s to make up for the lack of friction from his movements.

“Fuck.” He choked out, a whimper escaping his throat. “You’re making this difficult.” The ball of his palm rested on the bottom of my spine, trying to soothe me. His hips stuttered and he whispered silent pleads.

“‘M sorry, you feel so good, missed your cock.”

“I know, angel. Jus’ don’t wanna be some chump that cums in 2 seconds.” He huffed, puffing his chest out. A short laugh at his own snide comment. “I wanna take my time on you.” His words were enchantingly sweet despite his outward demeanour, his actions of brute exploitation.

“Mhm, I don’t care.” I reassured, knowing how pent up he was — how angry his cock must look, all red and swollen from being neglected. He pushed into my walls like he had a frustrating desperation, thick and achingly hard.

“Baby.” He chuckled. “Might be usin’ you, but ‘m not selfish. Gonna make sure you cum on my cock, yeah? ‘M not selfish.” His words lingered, he echoed to convince himself that he wouldn’t get carried away, ‘I’m not selfish’ he tried to convince himself. Despite how appealing his thoughts were, he took a shaky inhale, pushing them away.

My hips moved on their own accord, continuing his thrusts slowly after a moment of stillness, he had me bouncing at his movements with the weak slapping sounds of our hips connecting, clawing ah-ah-ah’s leaving my throat in time to his thrusts. He buried himself deeply into my guts, he had no shame in hiding his noises, he was desperate and he wanted me to know how badly he wanted it.

He let out a continuous string of grunts, groans and whines. “Keep playin’ with your cute pussy, doll. Get yourself there for me, get yourself off.” I nodded in time with him, moving my hands in a mix between frantic, wild need and precise movements. I clamped down on him, and he grunted, a choked cry as his composure almost turned to dust right then and there.

He breathed heavily, watching me squirm with want. “Wanna cum on your cock so bad.” I babbled, a distant whine murmured into the saliva-stained pillow. “So damn close.” I was barely audible, incoherent mumbles and cries

His slow movements picked up speed, his hand running through my hair, a makeshift ponytail in his tight fingers as he fought the urge to crane my neck again. “Make some noise, let me know how much you’ve missed me.” He whispered lowly. “Missed your pretty fuckin’noises, your pretty pussy, your pretty damn face.” He pressed a chaste kiss on my shoulder, then the side of my face. 

His fingers trailing through the ponytail, messily brushing knots from sleep out of it, before tugging on it slightly, just enough to move my mouth from the pillow. He tried his hand at small acts of devotion, his body shaking and trembling as he tried to restrain the greedy thrusts his body ached for.

“Wanna pull your neck so far back that it hurts.” He grumbled under his breath, before clearing his throat. “God, I love you, my pretty angel.” He crooned sweetly, covering up his previous devious thoughts, hoping my lust-haze blurred his words.

I sighed, fighting his grip to muffle myself into the pillow. “I’m close.” Whiney, high-pitched moans getting censored by the fabric I threatened to stuff into my mouth, sinking my teeth into it.

He nodded with each thrust, bouncing his head like he had no thoughts, watching me close my eyes in bliss, his grip on my hair loosened, just tight enough to keep the hair off my neck, letting the cool air brush against the skin to ease the sweat droplets forming all over my body. His thrusts began to lean more into my body, a white-knuckle grip on my waist, his fingers ghosting under the hem of the shirt. Sharp inhales and panting grunts from under his breath as he focused on whatever he could do to chase his orgasm off any longer.

“You’re right there.” He pleaded, trying to encourage the climax. “What’d’ya want me to do? Angel? What can get you there closer? What’ll make you— ah—” He hissed at the sudden tightness. “So fuckin’ tight, oh my god.” A choked gasp, and he scrunched his eyes tightly, then an airy laugh. “Squeezin’ the life outta me.” 

Incoherencies fell from my mouth like stones, they were heavy yet quiet. I felt my stomach tense up under his fingers, my legs feeling like they’d collapse under my own weight and feeling my body clamp down on him like a vice, trying to keep him firmly in place. Then it washed over me, a high pitched whine. “Alex—!” 

A low guttural groan as he twitched, his hips stuttering with desperation, moving more feverishly. “Oh fuuck, thank you.” He grunted, huffing for air. He felt the intermittent spasming cunt around him, a weak attempt of my body to milk him dry.

Both our bodies were slick and sticky with sweat, and he basked in my pleasure. “Don’t stop.” I almost sobbed; and he nodded with an open mouth grin, lazily smiling down.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

He felt the spasm die down into twitching of overstimulus, and the way the warmth hugged him was too much for him — feeling the squelch of the wetness around him as he drove his hips to his finish. His hips pushed as deep as they could, brushing against my cervix, and his own member twitched before he came with a loud, pornographic moan.

“That’s m’pretty li’l angel.” He slurred, his voice gruff as he came hard, flooding my insides with his seed. “Missed you so fu-ucking much.” And his body went limp, laying himself down against me, idly grinding his hips into mine. He was still painfully hard, sagging only slightly, and he nuzzled into the sweat-musk of my neck.

My hands fell from my sensitive clit, and I went limp from under his heavy body, letting his body weight sink onto me, I tried to ration my breathing, catching my breath as he still panted desperately.

“Gotta keep m’cum in you.” He grumbled, his nose brushing against the damp curve of my neck. He kept grinding into place, a low groan as he felt his arousal not falter in the slightest. I hummed, and he laughed, still feeling the way the oversensitivity felt around him. He pulled himself out, giving himself a few messy, languid strokes as a substitute for the sudden lack of inviting warmth.

His lips trailed down my spine, his fingers dragging the tank top up to worship the skin of my back, the blank canvas he could just paint. He lightly sunk his teeth into my backside, small indents on my ass, met with a light slap when he pulled away. 

He admired the scene in front of him, taking in the dazed, fucked out look on my face, my eyes struggling to stay awake. The way my body slumped into the mattress, all limp, my arms spread out over the pillow like I could just fall asleep right there. He laughed again, almost ignoring the need that consumed him.

“Mhm?” He beckoned, pressing kisses onto my face. “Sleepy girl, you here?” He huffed in amusement. “Did I fuck my pretty girl until she passed out?”

I grumbled under my breath a faint ‘nuh-uh’ — “‘M here.” I sighed, my voice gravelly from exhaustion. “Still here..”

“Let me clean you up.” He spoke sweetly, the palm on my lower back directly aiding the movement to flip me casually and easily onto my spine without moving me too much, to let me rest and to let the ache settle.

He moved his face lower down my body, faint and gentle, ghost-like kisses down my body until he pressed his nose against my clit, a deep inhale of the messy hole he’d ruined. He licked a strip between the wet folds, collecting the juices on his tongue with a short groan. 

“I’ll be doin’ this for hours tomorrow.” He mumbled to himself, completely aware of my languid state. He could stay down there for hours currently, but the way my hips twitched, threatening to pull away from him was all he needed to know better, too much of a good thing and all of that.

His hands stayed on my thighs, and he hushed me quietly. He was too tired to move, too horny to stop, and too loving to leave his sweetness all alone and unclean. Curt kisses place on my thighs as he stretched the muscles outwards, his hands wiping any sweat from behind the knees, and he crawled his way back up my body, angling me onto my side with a greedy kiss on the lips. 

“Mhm, I taste you.” I commented, tasting the mixture of our cum on his lips.

“Tastes sweet, ain’t it? Like heaven.”

He snuggled up behind me like he did originally, his arms wrapped tightly around my stomach and pulling me close against him. I didn’t fight him, sleepily going with the way he moved me around, and he smiled into the crevice of my neck.

I could feel that he was still hard, pressed against my lower back, and he knew I could feel it, a tender kiss on my neck as an apology for it. “God, still fuckin’ hard.” He chuckled dryly. “Might jus’ keep fuckin’ y’thighs ‘till morn’..” He slurred, testing the waters and earning an affirmative hum in response. “You’d be okay wit’ that?”

“Mhm, ‘course.”

“Yeah?” He huffed. “Jus’ go to sleep, angel.” He reassured softly, quiet mumbles under his breath, his fingers running up and down my stomach carefully. “So perfect..”

He took a sharp inhale, a shaky exhale and moved my legs apart slightly, sliding his soaked cock between my thighs, using it as warmth for a moment, so he was already there when he decided his desperation was too much, that the lust made his body ache and his brain fog — he’d tolerate it until he can’t anymore.

“Sleep, pretty angel. Got all’ve tomorrow yet.”

[indigosunsetao3]

Older CIA Alex

NSFW | 18+ | Age gap/dad's employee/forbidden Please check AO3 for tags

Perspective: Female reader

We're going to work this like Ex-Husband Price where I expand on things here and there. I just had to get this listed out.

So much for 'next few days'. I swear these ideas will eat me alive if I don't write them out.

OCIA!Alex - Was in your father's office when you walked in to meet him for lunch. He rose from his chair the moment you entered, a sign of respect and also that he would be leaving. You give him a small smile which he returns before slipping out the door.

OCIA!Alex - Casually asks your dad about you, and how the lunch went, when he returns from an overseas mission weeks later. It's not very out of place, Alex is an observant man, but the fact it was over a month later and he recalled where you went to lunch together struck your dad as interesting.

OCIA!Alex - Accepts your father's offer to join a few of the group for dinner. Your father always extended the invite to his whole team which Alex declined each time with an excuse. Except this time when he finds out, you'll also be at this dinner. Your father questions his sudden change of heart to which Alex answers charity is important.

OCIA!Alex - Is careful to make sure he is seated next to you at the charity gala. He's in his dress blues looking polished and the attention he pays you has you flustered. All evening he keeps you engaged in conversation, pulls out your chair for you, and makes sure your glass is never empty. In an effort to make a friend you give Alex your number as if he didn't already have it, and your social media accounts, saved in one of his burners after a bit of digging so he could learn more about you. Your father notices the friendly exchanges and makes sure to have a conversation with his subordinate. (Lunch and Dinner Date can be found here)

OCIA!Alex - Barely bats an eye at the fact you are almost twelve years younger than him. What's age really when you were both adults? He's even less phased by the fact your father lets him know you're fresh out of a long-term relationship which is why you were living with him for the time being. That explains why Alex hadn't seen you before and why you subconsciously ran your thumb over your ring finger all evening to play with a ring that was no longer there. Your father warns him, in a casual but firm tone, that you are off limits; he kept family and work separate for a reason. Alex assures him he was just being friendly, Sir.

OCIA!Alex - Volunteers to assist you in moving to your new apartment in exchange for a couple of beers. You texted him out of desperation, no friends in town, and your father is not the young man he used to be. It was the first time you had messaged him, he had been waiting none too patiently. Alex agrees, he's got the time and it's an excuse to see you again. Your father would have been more suspicious of this if he wasn't relieved to not be the only person lugging your furniture up three flights of stairs. (Move In Day can be found here)

OCIA!Alex - Swings by when you send him a message at one in the morning that the AC unit is on the fritz. The landlord didn't deem it an emergency and your father was out of town. The apartment is beyond sweltering and there isn't even a breeze to help. It was more of a venting session, you had been talking more often via text through the past couple of weeks, but Alex takes it upon himself to give you a hand.

OCIA!Alex - Fixes the unit enough that it's at least blowing semi-cool air. He insists on hanging around to make sure it doesn't go out again, promising it's not a problem. "Too hot to try and sleep without some air." You offer him some leftover pizza before joining him on the couch, a good distance away because it's too hot. Yet somehow you end up with your feet resting in his lap and his fingers massaging out the soreness from wearing heels all day. (Midnight Maintenance can be found here)

OCIA!Alex - Texts you even when he's gone overseas. He's polite in his timing, making sure he doesn't disturb you when you should be sleeping or at work. You are less restrained, finding you stare at the phone waiting for the next message like an impatient teenager. You tell yourself it's because he's the only real friend you've got around and it's lonely when he's gone. Then when he sends you an audio message you nearly fall out of your chair listening to his silky smooth voice as he tells you about his day.

OCIA!Alex - Smirks to himself in his bunk at night when you start sending him pictures. Innocent ones of course. Things you saw on your walk, sighing in frustration at another video meeting at work, the dinner you made (and didn't burn!), and the weird neighbor downstairs who only checks her mail at night. But then a not so innocent one pops on his phone after you've had a few glasses of wine.

OCIA!Alex - Avoids your father's questions as he tries to probe and see just what your relationship is. He had tried you when he saw your phone buzz with a text from Alex when he stopped by. You maintained you were just friends, that Alex was a nice guy but too old for you. That was, if friends sent lingerie and shower pictures to one another...and instructed the other just what to do when they were feeling particularly needy and lonely.

OCIA!Alex - Doesn't let your dad know he took a flight back two days early, and neither do you. He barely makes it into your apartment before you jump him and insist the uniform stays on. Those two extra days are spent solely at your apartment before Alex reports back to your dad, who is none the wiser. Even if Alex has hickeys all over his neck and his clothes reek of your perfume.

OCIA!Alex - Has to play nice when your father has an award ceremony and he insists you meet a few of his friend's sons. Your father determined you've been alone for too long, not enough friends, and is trying to get you back out there. He doesn't see Alex staring down each man as if they are his next target. Nor does he see the two of you slip away before his speech.

OCIA!Alex - Is unimpressed when you start spending time with others, men your own age in particular. You insist it's to keep your dad's suspicions away because he's been asking very leading questions, he's not dumb. And also, you had both agreed that whatever this was it was only a hookup, no commitment. Alex had his job and you wouldn't risk your father's ire.

OCIA!Alex - Agrees, two can play this game. He starts making some other 'friends' of his own and grins as he notices the worry in your tone that he's turned the tables. Jealously is a young person's game and he knows exactly how he feels about you, it's just getting you to admit it yourself. Your father seems a bit more relaxed that the two of you seem to spending less time together.

OCIA!Alex - Is sent out on a particularly long assignment in Europe. After three weeks of being gone and radio silent he knows he won this battle of wills when he gets a notification of an airfare purchase. He's hardly shocked to find you waiting outside of his hotel room he booked under his fake name. You are your father's daughter after all.

OCIA!Alex - Tells you to let him worry about your father as you lay sprawled on top of him. He's dealt with bigger issues from smaller targets before. You attempt to talk about it more but he silences you as he rolls you under him.

OCIA!Alex - Has a conversation with your father. (We're not going to give away the ending here 😉)

[bunny-jpeg]

club tropicana

operations officer alex keller

cw: smut/pwp, summer/vacation fic, drinking & smoking, unprotected sex, (slight) baby trapping, body worship & dirty talk, cowgirl position

bunny says: reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated! i love reading your comments & feedback (considering this is my first time writing mr. keller <3)

this was supposed to be the vacation of a life time. you had won it at a raffle through your school and would be your getaway before your last semester of school! you were so close to your degree that you could almost taste the ink on the diploma.

so of course the little vacation was a delightful treat!

that was when you met alex keller. he was nice, you two would sit at the bar by the pool and drink. and the drinking turned to talking.

"do people ask about the leg a lot?" you asked, a little drunk, "i'm sorry, that must be a really rude question!"

he chuckled and had another sip of his pina colada, "don't worry, beautiful. i can usually tell when people look at me like i'm a freak. when we first started talking, you didn't notice it. so i know you're just a curious little thing."

"i mean." you hiccuped, "if it's anything. the tattoos are good at distracting." you then giggled, feeling heat in your cheeks. you leaned a little closer and looked up to him, "i mean also your arms a huge so i wouldn't worry about it too much!" then gave him a big smile.

little did you know that alex was falling hard for you. but, it wasn't a puppy love or a vacation fling. no, he wanted you to be his wife. and when operations officer keller got his mind on something, he saw it through to the end.

it didn't help that you were so cute in your floral printed bikini. sometimes you wore a large sunhat and heart shaped sunglasses. you were painfully cute, innocent almost.

by the second week of your trip, you two were having sex. it wasn't hard to get you into his hotel room. the first time you two got intimate, you were on the tiled floor of the hotel room in front of alex who had both feet planted on the ground on either side of you.

in front of your eyes was him stroking his almost scary cock. it wasn't like it had devil horns or cobwebs, it was just that you had never seen a cock that big up close.

a nice peachy-pink colour, cut with heavy balls and a nice bit of hair to frame it all. it was the kind of cock you could get addicted to. and for alex, that was the plan. after you gave him the blowjob of a lifetime, he finished you off by putting you in his lap and finger-fucking the living daylights out of you.

by your second orgasm, you wanted to tap out, but he kept you trapped to him. his strong fingers bullying your sweet cunt. "nah, nah, nah. no can do." he said, "you gotta be stronger than that. i think i could get at least another three out of you before you're really done." he then got his second wind and fucked you on your hands and knees. you were drooling into the pillows.

getting a taste of you, was like a shark getting a taste for sea lion blood. the poor prey would be hunted to the ends of the oceans just so the shark could have another taste.

he knew you were a real keeper when you asked about positions that would work for him given his prosthetic. you had such a cute look in your eyes when you asked him, "i don't want it to not be fun for you! i'm very flexible so however you need to do it, we can do it!"

god, you were going to be the perfect mother to his children.

painfully caring, sugary sweet. alex was certain that he had caramels with less of a sugar content than you. but he said that cowgirl was his favourite, not only for his leg but also he liked seeing "pretty fat tits" bounce with every thrust.

it was a day of sun, you two had hung out around the ocean. you dragged one of the reclined beach chairs to be closer to alex. he laughed when you struggled to pull it across the sand, but had an arm around you when you sat in the chair when it was next to his.

now after dinner, your skin felt warmed from the hot sun and you were still in the adorable sundress you brought. alex loved a girl in a sundress.

his hands were on your shoulders after you got your sandals off. your skin felt so warm, it was like touching a familiar sun. it made alex's heart give a gentle' thud' in his chest. he kissed your neck before he hands went to the zipper of the dress.

"you looked more delicious than the buffet. i'm pretty sure they could serve you up for dessert." the zipped was pulled down and you slowly got out of it before you stepped out of the dress when it hit the floor.

you stood there, almost naked in front of your summer fling (re: future husband). you giggled and started to undo the front of his button up shirt. you ran your hands down his toned, slightly hairy chest and felt your core grow hotter.

"you look so good." you giggled.

he reached over and grabbed your ass, "not as good as you." his lips were painfully close to yours, "i wanted to throw you on the table and throw that dress up, and sink into the slick little pussy of yours."

you moaned a little at his words. he got you out of your bra and panties, leaving them with the dress as he led you to the nice hotel bed. you sat on it like you had done a dozen times already. you watched him undress. then you watched him lie onto the bed.

"mmm, c'mon now, pretty girl." he said as he tapped his thigh, as if he was a stallion to ride. he then laughed when you were eager to seat yourself down on his lap.

he grasped his cock and rubbed it up against your wet slit. when the blunt head brushed against your clit you moaned. alex knew it was time to give his pretty wife what she craved for.

close to eight inches of cock.

with a hand on your thigh, he hissed through grit teeth over the feeling of you sinking down on him. a soft noise left your mouth as you planted your hands on either side of his torso to get leverage as you started to move up and down on his impressive size.

he held onto your hips and guided you up and down on his cock. the pleasure was a live wire on your body as you bounced on it. he licked his lips at the feeling of your pussy being a vice around his cock.

you felt like a fucking dream.

well, what else did he expect? of course, the pussy of his future wife was going to be perfect for him.

you really worked his cock, the sight of your breasts moving with every thrust of your hips against him. the heat stained your cheeks as you panted heavily. you looked heavenly.

alex felt the curl of pleasure in his gut as he watched you ride him. you were such a perfect fit for him. it made his heart hammer. he was very lucky that he got to meet his wife at this stupid resort.

"you're so perfect for me." he groaned.

you nodded in response, "you feel great too, alex. you're just so good for me." of course he was, he was your (future) husband after all!

he chuckled and rubbed your hip with his thigh, "well, i guess we're two peas in a pod." before another groan left his lips as you pussy rubbed up against sensitive parts of his cock.

you continued the pace you were working with, your face felt stinging hot and your body felt good all over. a heightened sense of pleasure as you bounced on his cock.

he wanted you every way he could have you and if he got his way by the end of the trip, then he'd have all the time in the world to feel every inch of you.

"such a cute little pussy."

"ah, please, alex!" you whimpered, you were painfully close. so alex took a firmer hold of your hips and moved you up and down his cock. letting him have more control.

your cunt was an enticing thing.

"good girl, all for me." he said in a soft tone that made you feel like you had honey in your skull.

you gave a few more thrusts before your pussy clenched around his cock and you climaxed. you let out such a cute little moan that it almost made alex finish on the spot.

you were just full of so many surprises, weren't you?

he soon after finished inside of you, his cum spurting into the back of your pussy (where is all belonged). he groaned at the rush all over his body. he rubbed the softness of your hips before you got comfortable next to him on the bed.

he pulled the thin white bed sheet over your lower half. he eyed your breasts a little bit, seeing the rise and fall of your chest. it made his cock harden a little bit.

he rubbed your shoulder and gazed at your. his gaze was loving yet obsessive. why wouldn't he be? he wanted to make sure he never forgot every curve of the future mrs. keller.

you spend the rest of your vacation with your future husband between your legs like he had belonged there since the universe was created. it wasn't until you were packing that you realized that neither you or alex had condoms.

and you weren't on hormonal birth control.

-

you ended up a long way from home by the end of the summer. your flight back to your home city was changed to where alex was living.

you had a nice gold band with a pretty little diamond in it, alex picked it out for you the day after you arrived back in the sleepy french village he spent most of his time in. you were almost mad at your parents for how well they took it, alex seemed like a great guy when he invited them to come visit. he wanted to know his in-laws.

by september, when you were supposed to go back to campus, you had a hands-y husband trying to see if there was noticeable bump in your middle. as you made him dinner, he'd drape his arms around your waist and poke at your middle.

"c'mon, little guy. daddy wants to feel ya."

you let him feel for the child he made with you on that nice vacation to the bahamas. there were still a lot of secrets to alex keller, but as he invaded your space and kissed at your neck it all seemed to fade away.

after all, he believed that his child needed his father. so you better brush up on your french before the due date. <3

[numberonecodwomenfan]

Like We’ll Never Have Sex

i’ve been sitting on this fic for a few days and im finally posting it…. they make me insane. im praying farah isnt ooc but she might be 😔 anyway fic under the cut

CW for very vague mentions of past sexual assault, farah has Been Through Some Stuff

“Alex,” Farah whispered. The lump beside her on the bed shifted.

“Hm?”

“Did I wake you?”

“No,” Alex said, even though Farah clearly did. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and rolled over to face her.

“What’s up?”

“I can’t sleep. I feel like something is wrong,” Farah sighed. Alex smiled like a man entrusted with a secret.

“You always feel like something is wrong, ya ‘amar.” Alex held his arms open and Farah shuffled into his embrace. She shivered at the ticklish sensation of Alex’s mustachioed lips pressing kisses to the back of her neck.

“You can relax sometimes, y’know,” Alex mumbled, lips still glued to her skin.

Farah sighed, a bone-tired, heavy sigh, and slipped her hand into one of Alex’s to tangle their fingers together.

“You know I cannot,” Farah whispered, voice quivering with exhaustion, “There is always something that needs to be done.”

“‘S there somethin’ that needs to be done right now?”

“I am sure there is. I just- I just don’t know what.” Farah curled into Alex’s warmth and let him hold her close. Tightly, to make her feel safe, comforted, but not tight enough to make her feel trapped.

“What you don’t know can’t hurt you, my love. Right now, the only thing you need to do is sleep. You’re exhausted. I can see it in your eyes, and it kills me inside.” Alex pressed soft kisses against Farah’s head, trailing down her neck until he reached the collar of her sleep shirt (which was really one of Alex’s shirts, an old band tee with a coffee stain that Farah liked to steal).

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Alex sighed, “What do you need from me? Is there something I can do to help?”

“I don’t want to make you do anything for me,” Farah said, twisting around in Alex’s arms to look up at him. Alex pressed their foreheads together and one of his hands snaked up into Farah’s dark hair.

“Nothing you could ever ask of me would be too much,” Alex assured her, his calloused hands gentle as they cupped her face, “I would do anything for you.”

Farah sighed and hid her face in Alex’s chest.

“Just- stay here with me. That is all I want from you right now.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

———

Farah still couldn’t sleep. Alex could tell- her restless shifting jostled him awake many times, and he was starting to lose sleep as well. He did as she told him, stayed by her side and held her close, but it clearly wasn’t working.

“Farah,” he said softly, nose still buried in Farah’s hair, “You need to sleep, honey.”

“I know.”

“Can we try something?”

Farah was silent for a moment, and Alex had almost begun to hope she had actually fallen asleep when she spoke.

“Sure,” Farah sighed. She sounded defeated, almost.

“Could you take your shirt off for me? Or lift it up?” Alex realized too late how his request came across when he felt Farah tense up against his chest. He could practically feel his heart crumble in his chest when she ever-so-subtly shifted away from him.

“Alex, you- you know I do not want to… do that kind of thing. Not now, anyway,” Farah whispered, and Alex suddenly wanted to cry because she sounded ashamed. The look on her face broke his heart once again, apologetic and embarrassed, but most heart-shatteringly, afraid.

“No, no, God, no, that’s not what I meant. Farah, I know you don’t want to have sex. I’ve told you that I’m okay with that. We could never have sex, and I’d be okay with that. If I ever try to pressure you, or make you feel like you have to have sex with me, I give you my full permission to shoot me on the spot.” Alex looked down at Farah and watched her dark, tired eyes dart over his face. After a moment, she finally spoke.

“…I know. I’m sorry. I know you would not do that.”

“God, baby, don’t apologize to me. I’m the one that should be sorry- I made you uncomfortable. All I wanted to do was rub your back, it’s what my mom did for me when I couldn’t sleep as a kid,” Alex explained. He felt sick with regret, his stomach churning at the very concept that Farah, the love of his life, the woman he blew himself up for, might ever be afraid of him. He watched her tense shoulders relax just a little. “Farah, have you- have I ever made you feel pressured to have sex with me? Or to do anything you don’t want to do?”

“No! No, never you. I have just… You know what I have been through. What I have seen.” Farah sucked in a shaky breath. “I know you. I know you would not hurt me that way. But sometimes I still feel their hands on me, like- like stains on my body. They did not like that I fought back. They found different ways to put me in my place.” Her voice cracked and wavered.

Alex waited. Waited for her to gather her thoughts, waited for her to do whatever she needed. He waited while she cried. He held her as closely as he could as she cried and sniffled and unintentionally used his shirt as a tissue.

He rarely saw her cry, and never like this. She had shed a few controlled, carefully contained tears over the death of her brother, though her quivering bottom lip had given her away. Alex had seen the way her eyes watered when she saw him again after his ‘death.’ But he had never seen her cry like this. It was unexpected, to see Farah so painfully human.

She had spent years rebuilding her flesh and bone into steel and brick and mortar for the sake of her people, and Alex felt as though he had accidentally swung a wrecking ball through her chest.

“Sorry,” Farah whispered, barely audible against Alex’s chest.

“Don’t be. I’m so sorry you went through that, my love. I don���t really know what to say, to be honest.” Alex stared at the top of Farah’s head. He wished he could know what was going on inside.

“You are here. That is good enough.” Farah sniffled and pulled away, only to be met with the mess of snot and tears she had left on Alex’s shirt. “Your shirt-“

“-Is just a shirt. I’ll live. I blew myself up for you, baby. A little snot is nothing,” Alex chuckled. Farah let out a little huff that could have been a laugh. “Here,” Alex said, nudging Farah’s shoulder, “Turn over? You can keep your shirt on if you want. Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”

Farah considered for a moment, before slowly, hesitantly, turning her back to Alex. As he traced his eyes over the slim yet muscled planes of Farah’s back, he felt as though he was struck with the sudden realization of Farah’s trust in him. This woman, who had been through so much, been hurt by so many people, and hardened herself into a stern, sharp-edged commander, was baring the most vulnerable part of herself to him, trusting him to give and not take. Trusting him to put his hands on her and only go as far as she wanted him to. He felt her shiver when he laid his hands on the base of her neck, and on instinct, pulled away like her skin was on fire.

“You alright?”

“I am not made of glass, Alex. You kissed me in that same place just hours ago.”

Alex breathed out a little chuckle and moved his hands back to Farah’s shoulders. Slowly, slowly, he traced the dimples of her shoulder blades and ran his fingers down her spine. His thumbs pressed just so into those little knots of tension, not enough to hurt, but enough to loosen Farah’s board-straight posture.

His touch was warm against Farah’s back, and she found herself melting like butter into the mattress. She hummed, content, as Alex gently worked out some of the tension in her shoulders.

Even once Farah’s shoulders no longer strained with the evidence of holding the weight of the world, Alex didn’t stop. He rubbed circles over her trapezius and kissed along her spine, traced patterns onto her back. He felt her breathing even out under his palms. Finally, she was asleep. Before he pulled her back to his chest, he took just a moment to trace a few words onto her back; “I love you” he wrote, buried his nose into her hair, and promptly joined her in sleep.

[witchthewriter]

do u think you’ll ever write for Alex Keller from CoD?

I don't really know his character right now, but little by little I'm knowing more and more about everyone in Call of Duty ✨

[indigosunsetao3]

Every time I see Alex I itch to move onto my next novel story. I’m forcing myself to wait and finish Gaz’s first but uggggh. So many ideas and drabbles in my little notebook.

Anticipation is the best part, right?

Alex Keller in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare (2019)

[teddypines]

The aftermath

------------------------------------------------------------------

Sumary: The aftermath of a not so great mission. Reader x task force 141, Fem!reader (she/her pronounce)

Note: This is a rather long one, it bit angsty and i might make a part 2 to this. I want tf 141 in Schotland!! Also yes the picture up top does not match the vibe of the story, but it's a funny picture. Art / picture is from pintrest, credits go to the creator

To Scotland Part 2

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Location: Safehouse, unknown. Date:  somewhere in September. 20XX

Both Gaz and Ghost lay on the only two beds in the whole safehouse, Gaz more hurt then Ghost, but both still beaten up quiet bad. Soap kept watch for now as Price went out to try and contact Laswell and any share or form while Y/N tried to make something eatable out of there rations. They’ve been stuck in the safehouse for over 2 weeks and with both Gaz and Ghost hurt things just didn’t look bright.

Soap sighed and stood up from his spot next to Gaz and Ghost. He quietly left the room to go check on Y/N and the food. He was tired and didn’t really get much sleep at night, not with Y/N clinging onto him like a koala. He didn’t mind it a lot since it kept him warm, but the way she slept on his arm made him wake up every hour or so. 

Y/N looked up when Soap walked into the small kitchen. “How are they doing? Any better?” She asked worriedly. “Gaz, was awake for a few minutes and Ghost helped me clean his bandages this time, so i would say they are getting better just very slowly.” Soap answered as he stood next to Y/N by the stove. “Bloody hell, what is that?” Soap asked the moment he had a look inside the pan. “I’m not sure, I tried to make stew, but with what little we have it is kinda hard to make it. I’m hoping the Captain comes back with something more useful after his call with Laswell.” Soap nodding also hoping the same thing.

<-------------------------------------------------->

Price did come back with something useful for the stew and a promise that they wouldn’t have to stay in the safe house for much longer. An evacuation team was on the way. 

Soap and Price made sure the rabbit was skinned and gutted before Y/N cut it and put it in the stew. When Ghost walked into the room. “Fuck what is that smell?” “Rabbit and you should be back in bed.” Price answered Ghost’s question before walking over to his lieutenant. “Come on, back to bed Simon, you are not supposed to be out of it.” Ghost groaned at Price, hating how he used his name to get him to do what he wanted. He quickly, but carefully, made his way to Y/N “Just let me kiss the lass first, then i'll go back.” 

Y/N looked up at Ghost. “It’s good to see you are a bit better, but please do as John says and rest. Don’t want you to be even more wounded than you already are.” She said while lifting Ghost’s mask just to be above his nose. “And just one kiss” Ghost didn’t listen to her, leaned down and gave Y/N one long kiss and two short ones before kissing her forehead. Soap then helped Ghost back to his bed in the other room, practically forcing him back and away from Y/N. 

“Want one too, now that they are gone?” Y/N asked as she made her way to Price, who slowly nodded his head. “Please.” They both smiled and Y/N wrapped her arms around the captain. “Thank you for making food for us these past two weeks, lass, made it less rancid” Y/N laughed and then gave Price his well-deserved kiss. “Better now?” “So much better.”

Soap came back into the room and rubbed his eyes a bit. “Is it okay if I nap on the couch for a little while? At least until dinner.” “Of course Johnny, I'll get you a blanket” Y/N said to the tired Scots man. She pulled away from Price and walked over to the chair near the couch to get Soap his blanket. She proceeds to tuck Soap in before he drifts off to sleep.

<----------------------------------------------------->

It took another week for the evac team to find them and to pick them up from the safe house. By that time Ghost was much better and his wounds started to heal nicely, but Gaz was still out of it. Y/N walked next to the carrier Gaz lay on while the medical team took him to the plane. They wanted to look her over too, but she refused. Just needing to know that Gaz was safe on the plane first before anything else could be done or checked on. 

The medical team could finally check on Y/N and the others once Gaz was safe on the plane with Nikolai. Turns our Price had been hiding a broken rib and a bullet wound for three weeks. Ghost was still the same, but got some morphine to deal with the pain. Soap and Y/N were both fine aside from some scratches and healed wounds.

“We got some food for you all on the plane” Laswell said as she helped Ghost on the plane. “Something not rations or gross” “Like a hamburger?” Soap asked as he sat down next to Y/N with a blanket. “Sadly, no, it’s chicken noodle soup with a piece of bread if you like.” Laswell answered. She sat Ghost down on one of the medical beds. “We could get you hamburgers once we’re back at base.”

Soap pouted a bit as Laswell tells him that there are no hamburgers, but he was happy that there was chicken noodle soup to warm up to and to have something that is actually food for the first time in weeks. He did however hope that Y/N would make rabbit stew once in the future, just to see if she could make it even better with real ingredients. Y/N looked over at Soap and smiled. “What ya thinking about?”

“Just food and you.” Soap answered with a big smile. “Ah, so two of your favourite things, I see.” Y/N remarked as she slowly lay her head on Soap’s shoulder. 

They all got settled on the plane, got medical attention even when it wasn’t really needed and got as much chicken noodle soup as they wanted. Nikolai got the okay from Laswell and started the plane, taking his favourite task force back home.

<---------------------------------------------------------->

Location: secret military base, England  Date: 29 September, 20XX

Y/N made her way over to the medical wing, a care package from Gaz’s mom in hand. Gaz was still out of it, but he was slowly getting better. Of course it worried the others, they hated seeing someone they loved hurt. As Y/N stepped inside the room Gaz lay in she turned on the lights. The steady beeping of Gaz’s monitors filling the quiet room. “Hey, Kyle, your mom sent you a care package again. She’s worried, you know, just like we are. She feels bad that she can’t come over and take care of you.” Y/N started to talk to Gaz in a quiet tone. She sat down on the chair next to his hospital bed and started to unpack the care package. “I promised her I would take extra care of you on our last call so she made you a bigger care package than last time.”

Y/N pulled out the first item out of the box and smiled. “She put in a framed picture of your family. I’ll put it on the nightstand so they can watch over you,” She explained before putting the picture on the nightstand next to the bed. “Owh and look at this, it’s a little sheep plushie, owh and their name is fuzzy” Y/N melted as she took the sheep plushie out of the box. It almost made her want to cry. Just wanting her Kyle back with her. She placed the plushie in bed with Gaz and continued to go through the box. 

“There are some drinks and snacks in here too and i think your mom put in a bottle of stock for soup.”

“Yes, it’s beef stock, and there is a pack of funny pasta’s in here for the soup. I’ll make you the soup when you’re better. Wouldn’t want to waste any of this good soup without you having a taste of home” Y/N said as the lump in her throat got a bit bigger. She looked at the door, closed, and then back at Gaz. First she put down the care package and then crawled into the hospital bed. “Please get better soon Kyle, I miss you, we all miss you.” Y/N whispered before crying herself to sleep next to Kyle. 

<-------------------------------------------------------->

Location: secret military base, England  Date: between 11 October, 20XX and 26 October, 20XX

Entry’s out of Soap’s Journal.

October, 11th, 20XX Y/N hasn’t been eating a lot lately. It worries me. I try to get her to eat, but she just won’t eat a lot. I get that she is worried about Kyle, we all are, but she can’t stop taking care of herself, yet she did. John said it will pass once Kyle is up again, but I have a feeling that won’t be for a little while. 

October, 13th, 20XX I talked to Simon about it, he sees it too. Both John and Y/N are looking worse than when we were in the safe house. We try to help them, it works a bit. Works more when Simon does it, but then again he has more balls than me.

Called home today, mom is worried too. She said that if Kyle is better again we can all stay with her and dad at the farm. I think that would do all of us a great deal of good. Just hope Kyle wakes up soon. 

October 17th, 20XX Simon got Y/N and John to eat properly today, took us 2 hours of fighting and 30 minutes of trying to comfort Y/N, but they ate. 

The doctor’s say that Kyle is getting better, but that he is taking his time. He did wake up for a bit when one of the night nurses checked up on him last night. She said he asked about us. 

Kyle’s mom sent a care package again, this time with mostly stuff for us and not Kyle. I might call her tomorrow, tell her how things are going. 

October 20. I caught Y/N sleeping with Kyle again today. I really hate seeing her like this. John is doing better tho. He’s been sleeping with me and Simon a lot at night. Y/N sleeps with Kyle most nights, scared he might die when she is not around. 

21 October, 20XX Kyle is finally doing a lot better, still not awake, but doing better enough to give Y/N a calm mind and to get her back in bed with us. Eating is still an issue, but we are working on it. 

We saw Alex at base today with Laswell. It was nice seeing him again, he looks good. Farah is rubbing off on him and it shows.

October 25, 20XX Called mom again today. Well, Y/N took over after about 10 minutes, she needed to hear my mom’s voice and that everything was going to be okay.

Simon and I talked about going to my parents after Kyle wake’s up. He thinks it’s a good idea too.

October 26, 20XX Kyle finally woke up. We are all over the moon and he is doing great. Y/N is making the soup she promised to him when he was out of it and John and Simon are staying close to Kyle.

We all talked about it and once it’s okay for Kyle to leave we are going to my parents for a month or 3.

[ebodebo]

I need Alex coming home to you after being MIA for months and finding you coping not knowing where he was and assuming he was dead by buying a bunch of dogs. Your favorite dog Ali (your nickname for Alex) tackling him when he comes in the door fr. Angsty fluff ykwim? 🙂‍↕️🤝

A Pleaser

NSFW CONTENT

—alex keller x f!reader

—2.2k+

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Glancing from your kitchen to the bay window in your living room, you see the first flakes of snow begin to fall, each unique and delicate. However, you can't get yourself to care about the serenity of the first snowfall of the season and the holidays coming right around the corner.

Your boyfriend, Alex, had left for a mission in June. You had no idea where he was going or why; the details he spared were extremely vague. The only detail he spared was that it would likely only last two or three months at most. However, it was now December, six months from when he left. 

Three months ago, Captain Price called to say the team had returned. You were ecstatic; Alex was coming home, and the timing he had said was on the dot. 

"But,"

One singular word. One single word had single-handley splintered your heart, breaking it into two. He explained how Alex had gotten separated and was now considered MIA. You didn't care to hear anymore, so you hung up. You figured if-when-they found him, they would call, but three more months later, your phone was dry. With no indication of his whereabouts. And no indication of if he was dead or alive. 

The last couple of months have felt like hell personified. It felt as though an unpredicted storm had torn through your life, leaving a grave deal of devastation in its wake. Every day, you wake to feel the emptiness of the bed beside you, a constant reminder of the void in your heart. 

The silence in the house was deafening; even with three new dogs, the creak and groans of the wood could never replace the laughter you both shared. Grief wrapped its cold fingers around your heart and squeezed tighter every single day.

Not to mention, every corner of the house now felt haunted. Memories shared, kisses given, laughter spilled. You couldn't walk anywhere in the house without hearing, feeling, or seeing him. Everywhere was him. He was everywhere. Something you were both equally grateful for and spiteful of.

Grateful for all reminders of him because you would never forget him. 

Spiteful because it was just a constant reminder he wasn't there with you. 

Your thoughts were seized, and tears threatened to spill down your plump cheeks as you felt your dog, Ali, rub her head against your hip.

"So needy," you laugh out, wiping your tears with your hand. Using your opposite hand, you reach out to scratch her head. Your other dogs, Junie and Riley, were quick to run over to you and Ali.

"Jealous girls," you smile, sitting on the floor as they all engulf you, licking your neck and laying on you. You let out a laugh as Ali lays directly on your diaphragm on her stomach, back legs sticking straight out. Riley lay on your legs, and Junie lay behind your head. You pick your head up and scoot back to lay on her stomach.

"My good girls," you contently sigh as you scratch Ali's head and slowly drift off to sleep with the sound of your dog's light snoring and the clicks of the heater kicking on.

You sprung awake to the sound of the front door handle moving back and forth, while your dogs growled. You quickly stood up, glancing outside to see the darkness of the night staring right back at you. 

"Shit," you curse, roaming through the kitchen drawers to find a knife you could use to attack the intruder. Once you find one, you hear a soft curse and the soft drop of keys outside the door. Your eyes widen at the familiarity of the voice. No. It can't be.

You stepped closer to the door, but it flung open before you could open it, making you jump back and drop your weapon to your side. Your dogs were quick to jump on the man, making him fall to the ground and drop his duffle bag.

"Thought you didn't like dogs?" Alex roughly asked, a smile playing on his lips as he gently scratched Ali's head.

"Alex?" You questioned, slowly approaching him, unsure if you were still dreaming.

"It's me, baby." You hesitated only for a moment before tackling him on the ground where he lay. He winces at the interaction.

"Shit... sorry. Did I hurt you?" You pull back, tears fully streaming down your cheeks, dripping onto your shirt.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. You didn't know." He brought his hand up to cupped your face, feeling the wetness from your tears.

"Hate to ask, but could you... can you-" He asked, gesturing to himself. You move to kneel to his side as he wraps his arm around your shoulders, placing only a bit of his body weight onto you.

"You can put more weight on me. I can handle it." You assure, as you help him regain balance as he stands.

"I know you can." He smirked as you playfully rolled your eyes at his comment.

As he's leaned up against you, with his arm around your upper half, you feel something wet connect with your skin through your shirt.

"Why are you wet?" You gently carry him as you make your way through the front door.

"Just a little blood." He casually said. 

"Bl... blood?" You question, stepping to the side a bit to get a better look. A little blood is an understatement. It was thoroughly drenching the bottom side of his white shirt.

"Oh my God... that's a lot of blood!" You exclaim, again placing your arm around his shoulder to lead him to the bathroom.

"Nah. It's not that much." You carefully guided him to sit on the seat of the toilet. You frantically grabbed an emergency kit from under the sink and started pulling out some antiseptics, gauze, and bandages.

You turn to be met with his face. It was your first time seeing his face in such clear light in six months. It felt so bittersweet. You knew how Alex was before he left, but you didn't know how much of him would still be the same. What if it changed him? What if the real him was gone?

You kneeled in front of him and delicately pulled his shirt up off his head. The sight made you tear up once again. Cuts, some already bandaged and some minor. Yellow, blue, and purple bruises covered his entire body. Then, a gash on his side, the one currently oozing out blood. It all made you feel sick. 

"Hey, hey. I'm okay. I promise. Just got a little roughed up, that's all." He assured you, reaching out to grab your hand. You squeezed his hand tighter before you spoke.

"I know. I just... I hate seeing you like this." You breathed out. "It kills me seeing you in pain." You confess, grabbing a wet cloth and lightly cleaning the blood around his wound before using some antiseptic to wipe across it.

"I know. I shouldn't have come like this. I just... I needed to see you." He winces at the stinging sensation, gripping your hand harder. 

"I'll take care of you." You lightly smiled as you placed a large gauze bandage on top of the cut, lightly pressing the sides of it to secure it to the skin. 

"Already feel better." He smiles, gently pulling you down so he can press a deep kiss to your lips. "God, I missed you," he gruffly says as he leans his forehead onto yours.

"I missed you too." You pull back a moment before he pulls you back to his lips. It was sensual. Maybe even a little rough. But, his lips felt the same as those you'd kissed many times before.

His hands moved up and down your hips, occasionally sliding to grip the fat of your thighs before moving to grip your ass, making you throw your head back at the contact and eliciting a moan from you. Alex's eyes light up at your whiny noise, and your mouth slightly open. He let go of you and smoothly stood to grip your shoulders, making you sit on the toilet while he gently sunk to his knees.

“Alex… your bandages.” You protested as you attempted to stand up.

"You took care of me; let me take care of you," he said as he sat you back down on the seat.

"But…" You started before he interrupted.

"Are you arguing with me?" He tilted his head, eyes full of desire.

"No-I." You started before chewing on your bottom lip, looking down at him with glossy eyes full of hunger. God, he could just eat you alive.

"I guess I am."

"Let's deal with that attitude." He's quick to pull down your pajama shorts, paying no mind to the painful ache he feels on his side. He has another ache he needs to tend to. 

"You're gonna hurt yourself… again." You caution as he peels down your underwear, eager to feel you around his fingers.

"Please. I'm tough. I think I can handle this." He leans in between your legs and presses deep, hot kisses along your lower thigh, moving higher and higher.

The feeling of his overgrown facial hair tickling your upper thigh, slightly grazing your cunt, made your head spin, even making you whimper at the loss of contact when he pulled his head back.

"You miss me?" He grunted, moving back between your legs to plant more deep kisses on your thigh, gripping your calf with his hand. Your throat had betrayed you. Becoming too dry to form any words, just letting out a pathetic whimper.

Usually, he would make you answer his questions to piss you off, to edge you, but he could feel your neediness, and he so craved a taste of you after so much time apart. 

He pulls his head back and supplements his mouth on your thighs, for his fingers in your needy cunt, crazing your sensitive clit. Immediately feeling your tightness and arousal pooling on his fingers, almost dripping onto the bathroom floor.

"Oh-fuck-I can tell." You throw your head back at the sudden contact, moaning, as you feel his fingers glide in and out of you with ease.

"You're so tight." He grits as he feels you tighten around his finger.

"And wet." He pulls his finger out, making your eyes stare into his.

"Why'd you stop?" You question, your tone carrying more desperation than you intended.

"Wanna add another." He muttered, looking at you as he sunk two fingers into you before gently massaging your labia, softly teasing.

"I don't need foreplay, Alex. I need you to make me come." You hiss as you feel him touch your clit again.

"So demanding." He gruffs as he moves his finger to stimulate your clit, making your eyes roll. You harshly gripped his bicep as his fingers moved faster in you.

"What did you do when I was gone? Huh? You touch yourself?" He groaned out, watching your mouth open wide as you released another loud moan.

"I did." You manage to say, voice shakey and husky.

"Did it feel good?" he says breathily as you look back down at him, then drift to his fingers, connecting you two.

"Not this good." You affirm, gripping his arm tighter as you feel your stomach tighten.

He speeds up his movements. "Did you think about me?"

"I always think about you." You breathy respond as you throw your head back once again, trying to suppress the pleasure coursing through you.

"Fuck-I thought about you too. I thought about doin' this to you every single night." He grips your chin with his other hand, bringing it down so he can examine it.

"Seein' you bite that lip." He brings his thumb up to wipe it across your lip, now covered in a light layer of blood from digging your teeth too far into your flesh.

"Hearin' your breathy noises." You let out a shaky breath.

"Feelin' you tighten around my fingers-just like that." You gripped his arm as you felt your body intensely pulsate, your cunt tightly gripping his fingers as he continued rubbing your clit.

"Oh-fuck-just like that." He groaned as the ecstasy fully spread through you, touching every part of your body, clenching harder onto him. A rainbow of color strikes your eyelids. A foam of music coaxes you through your ears. 

Once you thoroughly rode out your orgasm, you slumped against Alex's shoulder, unable to sit up on your own. 

"That... was-" You trail off, sitting up a little to look at him.

"Best orgasm you ever had?" He fills in, gently slipping your underwear back onto you.

"One of the best." You press a kiss to his lips as he cocks a brow.

"Remember the bar?" You plant your hands on his shoulders, gently tugging on your bottom with your teeth.

"Ah-how could I forget?" A smile takes over his face as he presses another kiss to your swollen lips.

You can't remember how long you and Alex sat there. Your ass hurt from sitting on the hard porcelain for so long, and you imagined Alex's side was hurting from kneeling for so long, but you knew he could give less of a shit about himself. All he cared about was you. Protecting and caring for you were his only objectives in life.

Oh, and pleasing you. The man aims to please, and pleasing he does.

reblogs & comments are encouraged!

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

So request kinda if not just sharing my thoughts in general.

Alex. My boy. What if reader is a civ or even another soldier in a different squad and the whole thing with him joining Farah’s forces indefinitely. I think this can really lend itself to some angst and that good old misunderstanding. Kinda leaning towards civ!reader just because the more miscommunication. I guess it’d have to be an angsty ending though 😳, but regardless-

Love your writing and, as always, feel free to change anything or do whatever gives you the most inspiration

World Caves In

PAIRING: Alex Keller x F!Reader

SYNOPSIS: Perhaps it would have been better if your husband had died - at the very least you could understand that.

WORD COUNT: 7.9k

WARNINGS: Angst, misunderstandings/miscommunication, hurt/comfort, vulgar language, abandonment?, Alex being an adorable husband, fluff, etc.

A/N: I was gonna make this an angsty ending but I got my period and thinking about that made me cry so here we are, lmao. Enjoy, Anon!

*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*

When you’d been escorted out of work by two uniformed men, you knew the news wasn’t going to be good. Sitting in the back of a large black car, you spare nervous glances as the vehicle jumps, its wheels going over the last speed bump. Your work building begins to become a fraction of a memory and disappears faster than your resolve. 

The men sit on either side of you, silent, and the only comment is to the driver as you all enter the main road. Swallowing, you part your lips and mutter, plain dread in your tone, “Is he alive?”

All you get is a glance from the front mirror and nothing more. You hunch more in your seat and stew in agony, mind far off on the topic of your husband. 

Alex wasn’t overly reckless, you’d managed to snuff most of that out over the course of the many years you’d expressed concern to him about it, but a large chuck of the blond was still too selfless for his own good. It was hard not to think the worst. 

From training to advising, your husband was always off on one mission to another, far from your quaint and quiet home here—where you waited day after day for even a sliver of contact from him. Alex specialized in so many things that trying to wrap your head around it was impossible.

Even now, you only knew the bare minimum. 

The soft-smiled man worked in the SAD division of the CIA. He’s an Operations Officer. Currently, he’s somewhere across the globe. 

Away from you.

Thinning your lips, you take down a deep breath and settle back into the seat, pulse flying. The men were obviously Agents—you’d looked closely at their badges when they’d first shown their faces at the front desk and had kept within view of your work’s security cameras just in case this was a ruse. When you could find nothing out of the ordinary, you had tensely asked them what was happening. 

They would be holding his dog tags if he was dead, you had reasoned, desperately, a flag. 

It was frantic, the way you had thought that up; how could you not be like that? Alex was the light of your life! With him constantly putting his life on the line, it was inevitable for him to get hurt, sometimes seriously. It was ingrained into your mind the way you would help clean his wounds in the middle of the night when the pain woke him up with a grunt stuck in his throat. The way you would sit half-asleep in his lap and re-wrap bandages while he told you to go back to bed half-heartedly. His hands drifting over your warm skin like he was cascading his fingers up and down the spine of an old book.

You never listened. 

“It’s late, Bug, I can’t keep you up like this.” His drawl echoes in your ear as you rub a heavy palm into your eye. Alex’s hands are both on your hips, squeezing the flesh just below your tiny sleep shorts. You have him sitting on the floor, back resting on the wall and shirt discarded to the side only wearing loose gray sweatpants. A long cut up his left pec is the center of your blurry attention—a wet rag held as you dab at it. Blue eyes narrow at you. “I’m just fine with doing it myself, y’know.”

“You’re being stubborn again,” you utter, the soft light of the bathroom placed at half-capacity to at least try and keep some of the veil of sleep over your heads. “I told you to wake me up when you needed it cleaned.” Your skin brushes his and Alex shivers under you, sighing breathily. “And you’re not keeping me here—I’m helping.” 

A small flash of that full smile, mustache flinching up, “Well when you look so pretty sleepin’ I can’t just shake you awake and tell you to fix me up.” 

You take your free hand and pinch his nose, yawning as he grunts out chuckles. A delicate glance is thrown his way as the rag lowers from reddened skin. Like a butterfly's whisper, you study his face gently; reaching and cupping his cheek with your palm. 

Alex’s lids flutter, heavy weight falling into you as if waiting for this—lips pressing to your inner wrist in reverence. You hold back a tired giggle and feel the corner of his mouth pull up when he feels it.

“All that talk, and yet,” pressing a smooch to his forehead you take your hand back and hear the grumble he lets out after, “you still like it better when I’m the one that’s working on you.”

“Can’t complain too much,” he admits slowly as his head leans back to tap the wall, “my wife’s hands are way softer than mine.” 

Alex’s grip on your flesh tightens when you sipe away the last line of crimson from the wound, tattooed arms flexing. 

“Sorry,” you whisper, watching his eyes slightly awash with pain. “Got caught on a stitch.”

“Ah, well,” the blond sighs, shifting “I suppose I can forgive you.” 

Laughing quietly as the house settles, you shake your head and rest your forehead on his. 

“Such a saint,” your lips utter teasingly as Alex smiles wide, his hands moving higher to your waist. You lean into him, stealing his warmth as your tired eyes flutter; feeling his thumbs run circles over the flesh of your lower spine. 

A content breath escapes you.

“Go back to bed, Sweetheart,” Alex whispers, lips brushing yours like silk, the bristles of his facial hair tickling you. “I can do the rest, promise.”

“Know you can,” your mutterings are barely heard, but the man seems to register them, sea-glass gaze incredibly soft. He chuckles at your sleepiness, one hand leaving your waist to capture the back of your head; weaving into your hair and gently massaging your scalp. You practically melt into him, limbs going slack, slurring out, “Quit it. Wanna help, Alex.”

His laughter shakes you, and with a huff escaping, you bury your burning face into his neck and lean into him, careful of his wound even in your fatigued state. 

“No offense, Bug,” Alex shifts, grunting as he easily maneuvers you until you’re laying in his arms, inked forearms under your knees and behind your shoulders with vivid images of grim reapers, snakes, and angels guarding you close. A kiss is firmly pressed to your forehead as the blonde smirks downwards, “But you’re about as helpful to me right now as an empty mag.”

You grumble, trying to disappear into his skin and letting him dig his stubble into your cheek. 

“If you bring me back to bed before you’re done,” you yawn and close your eyes, “I’m divorcing you.”

He laughs deeply into your ear, body shaking as he pulls back and sends you an incredulous look. 

“Hell, we can’t have that, can we, Mrs. Keller? I’d lose my damn mind.” 

It’s a long drive, and you worry through the entirety of it. A primal, whole-body-shaking type of fear. You’d built a life with Alex and loved him more than anything or anyone that had come before. Even if he was gone a lot, that had never dulled what the two of you had—your marriage was nothing short of something you would find in a fairy tale; flashing pictures on pages with vivid colors and tender glances. The very cover itself is made of the finest leather and inlaid with gold calligraphy. 

Please, Alex, you plead in your head as you remember his loving gaze—his back as he makes supper in the kitchen and hums to himself. Please be okay.

The men hold open the car door when it comes to a stop outside a very obviously abandoned apartment complex near the outskirts of town. You get out quickly. Looking around, you take in the overgrown grass and the broken concrete with a knife in your lung; holding back the flood of anxious tears. 

Though, confusion takes president. 

“Where did you…?” You turn to look at the Agents, but they’re already clambering back into their car and snapping the doors shut. Wide-eyed and slack-jawed you watch them speed off as a cloud of dust drifts into the air. 

Pulse echoing in your ears, you watch the vehicle speed down the road and disappear. 

Swallowing, you whisper, “What the actual fuck?” Turning in circles, no one else is around. A part of you starts to worry less for Alex and more for yourself.

They were CIA, you reiterate, I checked their badges—Alex showed me the standard ones. Could I have missed something? 

Expression nervous, you shift on your feet before your stuttering legs take you closer to the abandoned building, not really seeing much choice here. You could imagine the scene from The Wizard Of Oz—when the man pulls back the curtain and all is revealed. 

That said, you could really only hope that was what was actually happening to you and you weren't getting kidnapped or shot. Taking a deep breath, you clench your fists and enter the building through the open front door. 

It was in the wide lobby that you locked eyes with Kate Laswell. You blank, mouth parting as the scent of concrete and decaying furniture get stuck in your nose. 

The woman seems highly agitated, brows tight and jaw clenched. Her white blouse had been flattened multiple times by rough hands, lanyard swaying on her neck like Alex’s dog tags would. She holds a file in her hands; the paper bulky as if holding something more than just paper inside its manila clutches.

“Kate?” You ask, confused, “What are you doing here? What’s all of this about?” Taking quick steps forward you splay your hands as your voice grows more serious. “Where’s my damn husband?” 

You didn’t know Laswell personally, in fact, when you had first got a glimpse of her here, you’d forgotten the older woman’s name for a moment. The first meeting between the two of you had been at a CIA get-together that Alex had been forced to go to because of his position—some celebration because a group of ICBMs had been taken back into US hands after being stolen. Your husband had introduced you to the Station Chief over a drink with a hand on the small of your back.

But it didn’t stop you now from talking to her like you’d known her for years. Not when fear was flooding your veins.

“What the hell is going on?” You say harshly, glancing around the room for any sight of someone else here. 

Kate sighs heavily but wastes no time in speaking, her professional tone and serious face leaving your already fast-paced heart racing.

“Alex isn’t coming back to the United States.” Your eyes blank, staring into icy blue. She holds out her manila folder, jaw tight. Blunt. “He’s a deserter.” 

It’s like your entire being halts; your skin suit feels as if it’s sagging on your bones with the weight of a cinder block connected by hooks to the floor. 

What did she just say?

Opening and closing your mouth you stutter, lids blinking rapidly. 

“I…” Fingers flinching in the air, an exhalation from your nose sounds more like a wheeze. Kate watches stiffly, taking a look at the floor before returning her attention to you; emotion flashes in her eyes. “...W-what?”

“Keller deserted his post—I tried to speak with the Colonel but there’s only so much I can do.” Laswell takes a deep breath as you continue to go through shock. Alex wasn’t coming home? How, why? “He’s staying in Urzikstan to fight with the Liberation Force.”

“Urzikstan?!” You gape, but the woman continues. 

“For all intents and purposes, I shouldn’t be here, but Alex asked me personally to hand these to you.” Again the manilla folder is shown to you, but when you only glare and fight the fear and confusion rampaging in your gut a sigh echoes out and it’s placed on a termite-eaten side table. “Even communicating with you could put you in danger now that he’s gotten on the bad side of the entire SAD and CIA branches. This is all I can do.”

“What the fuck,” you whisper to yourself, hand coming up to capture your mouth. 

“If Alex re-enters the states—he’ll be arrested and tried in a court of law. If he’s not shot on sight for what he knows.” Kate watches you closely, shaking her head in pity. “I’m sorry,” there’s a strained pause, “but he’s made his decision.” 

As she brushes past you, leaving the folder on the side table, you feel your wide eyes well with tears—confused and horrified. But he’s coming back to me, right? Alex…Alex wouldn’t leave me here alone.

It was common knowledge that over the last years the blond had gotten more agitated at his line of work; the orders that he didn’t want to follow but had no choice. No voice. But he can’t just abandon you...could he? You’d taken vows. Had a happy marriage and relationship. Loved each other.

He can’t just…he can’t…

Your hands shake and you’re unable to stop them, gaze locked on that unassuming manilla folder. Kate pauses in the doorway, peeking back and seeing your sickly-looking face, the agony written in the lines of your forehead. Like the picture of a loyal wife being told her husband was never coming home. And Alex wasn’t even dead. Resentment begins to burn. 

But he made his bed. 

“He told me to tell you that he wouldn’t be angry if you wanted to leave him,” was all she said, a final knife being stabbed into your heart and being ripped out like a live wire. Electricity makes your back go stiff in an instant. “It would be best to never tell anyone that we met.” 

You were alone, full body shivers and bile stuck in the back of your throat. Cold sweat coats your palms, a sticky mess of your barebones disturbance. 

“He…” your voice is hoarse, bouncing off the far walls. “Alex left me here? He left me.”

It was easier to say that the sun had exploded and you were waiting for the last beam of light to incinerate you. Inside of your skull your brain pounds as, in a mad dash of desperation, you rush to the manilla folder and rip it open with vibrating arms.

Having Laswell tell you that Alex wouldn’t be mad if you…if you…the hairs on the back of your neck rise and suddenly you’re angry beyond a sliver of a doubt. It was insulting.

“Alex fucking Keller,” the paper opens to the bulk of your husband's dog tags and a flip phone—reports like his own personal file and the patch that he had once worn so proudly on his combat vest. Red, white, and blue dig into your retinas; it was old, worn beyond measure, but that little patch was something that was never removed. Not even to be cleaned. 

“The dirtier it is,” Alex had commented on the American flag patch when you’d offered to mend it for him, cringing at all the blood stains and dirt flecking off it as he slipped his vest off in the foyer of your home. “The luckier I am.” 

“I think the stench of it alone will frighten off anyone who comes near,” you had raised a brow, smirking up at him as he walked over, laughing. A kiss is placed on your lips, Alex’s bright smile transferring over to you as if able to spread from his mouth to yours that simply. You sigh dreamily. 

He pulls back with a tiny wink as you gaze up at him, cheekily stating, “That’s the plan, Sweet Thing. Gotta make sure I come home to you in one piece.”

You brush your hands over it and think that maybe it would have been better if he had died. Then you could understand why he’s doing this to you. Anger spreads into rage. 

Looking next at the phone and dog tags, all you do is shake your head and slam the folder shut, bitter tears tracking your face. You can’t read anything—can’t see his name imprinted on that metal that used to press coldly into your skin as you both slept in bed. You don’t care about the phone or the files. 

None of it mattered.

“He fucking left me here,” it’s like you’re a broken record replaying over and over again. “You absolute bastard, Keller!” Yelling, you press your fingers into your face, hands spreading over your eyes and mouth to muffle your enraged sobs. 

“You’re still alive and you left me alone.” 

Only the abandoned building echoes your pain; replaying it back over and over again as your wails echo around the lobby like a symphony of laughing jesters. 

—

The phone that Laswell had given you had been going off at least three times every day—morning, noon, and at night. You had stared at it with fury, knowing exactly who was calling even if the thing was displaying an unknown number. By now you had steeped in your anger enough that you had found yourself snapping at friends and family alike when asked if you were alright. 

You wished Alex was here so you could hit him upside the head for being so stupid. So you could hate him until you had the pleasure to love him again.

Urzikstan. 

You’d looked up the country after you had spent two days straight in bed, afterward manically cleaning the house with a glare that could light fires. The far-off place was a land utterly divided by war. Russian occupation, a terrorist group; the force that your husband had joined. Mass against mass against mass.

Brick meets wall.

And Alex had chosen to stay—without a doubt because he’d seen the dire situation and had used that damnable good heart of his to empathize to the max. Forget donations, humanitarian work, or anything else, the man had fucking decided to join in a Liberation Force. 

As much as you wanted to say you hated him; had wanted to slam your gold wedding band to the table with a good riddance for betraying you like that…you still had his dog tags around your neck, and the ring was still on your finger. 

“Too good for his own sake,” you grumble, shoving dirty clothes into the washer like they had tried to attack you. “Deserted the fucking CIA, Jesus Alex. Do you even think when I’m not around?” 

There were only so many times you could curse his name until you felt a deceiving needle of pride slither itself into your skull. You could describe Alex as many things but he would always be steadfast in causes that truly needed his help. He often told you that the best missions were the ones where he could do so much more than take out a target—he strived to help the individuals he met. Form bonds. 

God forbid something came in between the blond and the ones he’d chosen to give his loyalty to.

You slam the washer shut and stomp into the living room after starting another cycle. Stress cleaning was really not a good look on you—the entire house was without a single spec of dust but you yourself felt like you’d run seven marathons. Clenching your teeth, you go and drop to the couch, a grunt falling from your lips as your head hits the pillow.

Staring at the ceiling, you finally take in the utter silence of the house—not a home, because it could only be that if Alex was here—with a pained crease forming on your brow. The pipes spit water, and the washer grunted its mechanical garble…but there was no humming man making food in the kitchen. No blond hair visible as a head rests on your chest; your fingers playing in the locks that act like silk as you part them, the man on top of you purring. Body a weighted blanket.

“Was it really that easy,” you whisper to nothing, lip quivering. “Was it really that easy to stay away, Alex? I thought…I…” 

Eyes wrenching shut, you hear the phone right at noon again as it sits on the coffee table. And you let it. 

There were voicemails, no doubt, but you hadn’t thought to listen to those either. This small act of rebellion was all you could act on but for the simple fact that it also harmed you. Barbed wire steadily digging deeper as it kept your hands wound to your sides—neck plastered to the pillow as bright silver spikes glinted. You stare at the unknown caller who really wasn’t all that unknown and watch the screen light, vibrating over the wood in steady intervals. 

What hurt the most was that if he’d asked you to come along—become an Expat just for him—you would have said yes. You could find a new job, a new place to call home. Humanitarian work would have been at the top of your list and Alex…well….he would still be fighting, just as he always had. 

But at the very least you would have been there to clean his wounds. Together. You’d both promised on that altar to do nothing less. He could’ve asked. He should have asked. 

Alex…

“Urzikstan,” you mutter for what seems like the fiftieth time. When the ringing stops a few moments later the new voicemail icon flashes. Placing your arm over your mouth, you clench your hand so tight it starts to shake, whispering into your skin, “Fine. I guess you did make your bed. And…and I won't be there to lie in it with you.” No matter how much I want to.

You slip the wedding band off of your finger and place it beside the phone before turning and burying your head into the cushions; feeling more numb than you ever had before.

—

It carried on like this for three months. The ring didn’t move from the coffee table and neither did the flip phone; the file had all but been tossed in the trash as it sat teetering on the living room desk. You carried on as well as you could, all things considered. 

Work was a blur, going out with friends even harder to enjoy, and any enjoyment of hobbies or activities was dulled to an almost gray existence. Like a ghost, you wafted through experiences with dog tags and a withering appearance. Eventually, you just stopped going out unless it couldn’t be helped. You still bought meals for two at the grocery store out of habit. You placed blankets where Alex used to sleep beside you. You went to work. 

And still, the calls never stopped except for a brief pause after the first month. You’d thought he’d finally given up, but no. Back at it.

It had gotten to a point now where the device was automatically deleting all recent voicemails—too little space in the inbox. 

Angry curiosity was tempting you. It would be easy, you reason, to simply play the first message and listen. The worst part of it was that you’d begun to forget Alex’s voice and perhaps that was why, on that dead-aired Saturday, you snatched the phone and brought it into the kitchen. 

Firmly planting it on the counter, you stand behind one of the island chairs and glare, hands tapping into the wood. 

“I’m giving you three minutes, Alex,” you speak as if he’s still here, as if his form stands right behind you, head tilted like a damn dog with that infectious smile and those sea-glass eyes. “Three minutes,” your fingers snap the device open and you go to your voicemails; jaw tight, “and if you don’t hear you groveling, Keller, I’m deleting all of them and chucking this phone into the sink.” 

You go down the line to the very first message, small buttons clicking, and before you can stop yourself you press play.

It begins with a small moment of silence. A cough. 

“Hey,” he says your first name, not one of your epithets. Your brows deepen their annoyed furrow, but you can’t help the uptick in your heart rate. Inside your flesh, the sinews of your throat close in on itself like a balloon. “I…I’m guessin’ I have a good enough ass-kicking waiting for me since you didn’t answer.” A strained laugh before another pause. You feel acidic tears boil behind your lids. “I’m not surprised—not really. Done some stupid things but never something like this.” You can hear him shake his head, voice going lower in defiance. “But they were asking me to leave Urzikstan in a worse place than when I entered it. This Liberation Force, Bug, it…they’re good people and what they’re asking me to do…” Alex huffs, growling under his throat. “I can’t stand by that. The man you chose to marry, he can’t stand by that. They need me here. I’m not asking you to not be angry—to not hate me for this. I know I damn well deserve it.”

You let your tears hit the counter, head slightly bowing over. That was your Alex. 

“You need a leash,” your strained voice hits the walls, bouncing off picture frames and your husband's cooking utensils. The small pieces that make up the whole picture frame of your life. “God,” you huff wetly, “you’re going to get yourself killed.”

“I know I should have talked to you first, figured out some plan. But, uh,” Alex’s throat gets choked up, and you snap a hand to your mouth when you realize he’s close to tears. He clears his throat. “Hell, I should have done a lot of things, Sweetheart.” 

You can hear shouts in the background, calls in Arabic. The pounding of a door and a woman’s voice.

“Alex, we need to move! Everyone is ready—Barkov’s lab cannot be left standing a moment longer.” The hurried hand to the line muffles the words, but you hear him anyway.

“Affirmative!” He comes back. “I don’t have time to explain more, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for… everything. I’d understand if you don’t use the passport Laswell’ll give you, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to stop calling.” Alex laughs and your face freezes.

“Passport?”

“What kind of Husband would I be if I just let the most perfect woman in the world go without a fight, huh? I’ll be waiting until you call to tell me to shut the hell up and leave you alone or that you’re down in the airport waiting.” There’s a large sound of combat vests being clicked on—pistols being situated into holsters and a rifle strap slipped over a chest. Alex suddenly pauses and you stare at the phone blankly. “I know this is a big ask, Doll, and I know I’m horrible for even springin’ this on you when I’m half a world away from our bed. But I had to try, even if it was selfish. I just…I just really need to hear your voice telling me if I’m an idiot or not for thinking this up. Call me back soon…or when you run out of my clothes to burn in the firepit out back…I love you, okay? More…more than anything.” 

There’s a minute or two of nothing, just Alex’s ragged breathing, and then there’s an older man’s voice ordering him to hurry up. The line clicks. 

Your ears ring as it does, wide eyes dripping tears from your bottom lashes as your lungs chill over. Hand slowly flinching out, you ghost over the keys before clicking on the following voicemail. As it plays, your feet start to take you backward at a snail's pace, your spine flattering against the wall as blood drains to your feet. 

“Hey, it’s me again. I still haven’t heard from you—that’s alright. Take your time.” Steadying yourself with a hand, you look out of the kitchen and get a glimpse of the manila folder on the desk, its tan hide sucking you in. Pulse in your throat, you rush out to grab it as Alex’s voice echoes. “I know Laswell gave you the file, I trust her that much at least.” A sigh. “But even if it’s just to yell at me, please pick up the phone soon. Let me save some of my dignity and give me a chance to beg on an open line, huh, Sweetheart…? But I guess that’s all—gotta go. I love you.” 

You don’t play the next message because you’re ripping open the file with rabid hands, seeing exactly as you had when Laswell left it for you. Alex’s mission report; his patch. The dog tags around your neck clink together like a song, some brutal rhythm. 

“Passport?” Grasping the mission report you pick it up, flipping through the multiple pages of blacked-out words and more confused than ever. “Airport?” 

The words come out as whimpers, hands so shaky that the pages slip from your fingers. They slam to the floor in a flurry of bond paper and you curse loudly, snatching for the remnants futilely. Grasping on your hands and knees hitches build in your breath as your fingers dance rapidly before they slip across something distinctly not paper. 

Small, tiny, and blue. Laminate. 

Your very blood seems to stop in your veins. Pushing back one last piece of paper, you come face to face with a singular American passport. Gasping down mute breaths and licking your lips, you pick it up lightly, leaning back on your legs as if you’d just slammed your head into the concrete. 

“Alex…” you whisper to no one. 

Flipping the hard cover open, a small, palm-sized piece of paper slips out to your lap as your own face stares at you in image form. You blink for a moment before going to take the note and separate the ends. Formal script is inside, stiff lettering. Not your husband's handwriting, but you didn’t have to guess who’d written out these directions for you. 

Laswell.

There was a destination in fountain pen ink—an airport near the Urzikstanian and Georgian border. Seeing as Urzikstan was on the travel-ban list due to the turbulence of the government and terrorist threats, you wouldn’t be able to get there directly. 

But you supposed Kate had your back for that too. 

Georgian safehouse - wait for Keller there. It’s secure. More directions and then a small gap. A pause. Good luck.

You don’t know how long you stare at that paper—that passport. The first thing you think about is how could Alex ask you to do this. Uproot yourself with the snap of a finger. You wouldn’t be able to bring anything beyond what could fit in a few suitcases. No furniture, no large amount of clothes, or even sentimental items. You’d have to quit your job; leave behind family and friends to travel to a war-torn country.

But he’d said it was your choice, and he wouldn’t push you to make it. He’d said you could leave him if you wanted—keep all of this that you’d built here.

…But you’d built it together, hadn’t you? 

You think of Alex’s bright smile and his mustache. His tattoos. How he’d hold you so tight in the long hours of sleep that you half-believed he thought you’d disappear if he didn’t; nuzzling his nose into the back of your head and grumbling out nonsense. The way you could trace his scars and watch as he willingly submitted to your praise, delicate lips curving into sheepish grins as you place soft kisses on the raised skin. Red cheeks.

This place wasn’t a home without Alex in it.

You look over at the coffee table and lock onto the gold of your wedding band.

—

Getting into Georgia was a long affair of paperwork and screenings—not days but months of legal jargon that Alex had dodged entirely because of his desertion. By the time you’d landed in country, you were wholly exhausted down to the very marrow of your bones. You get through the checkpoints, pick up your bags, and look out at the entirely new world outside of the airport’s windows. 

“Okay,” you swallow saliva and nod carefully before looking down at Laswell’s directions to the safehouse. 

You slip the paper into your pocket after memorizing the address, tips of your fingers brushing the smooth surface of the flip phone. Clenching your eyes shut, you take your hand back out and go to try and hire a driver. You were here, but that doesn’t mean all of this was forgiven. 

After you find someone able to drive you to where you need to go, you end up standing with a quaint hostel ahead of you, home far behind. Gazing slightly nervous at the strange place you’ve found yourself, you think of Alex’s hand on the small of your back and sigh; caressing the cool metal of the ring around your finger. 

Walking forward, you hitch your bags over your shoulders and grit your teeth against the hot sun. When you meet the owner at the front desk you state your name and ask for a bed. 

The man’s eyes widen for a moment before he looks at something on his countertop, raising a brow in thought. Grabbing at a stack of papers he holds up a finger and begins digging. Too tired and overwhelmed to ask what was wrong, you just watch and rub at your face. 

“Ah,” the man snaps his fingers and laughs to himself, “here it is! I knew I had placed the note somewhere, Mrs. Keller.” You blink, confused, but the man just takes a key from the wall and motions for you to follow. Sparing a glance around for a moment, you slowly slink after, not really having a choice.

“I remember your Husband coming to me—the blond with the tattoos.” The owner looks back, making sure you’re following. He motions to his right side with splayed fingers. “Scars on the side of his head, to reserve a room.”  

Alex was here? How much had he done already pertaining to the chance that you would show up? 

“Y-yeah,” you chuckle stiffly, “that was him. Sorry for being so long I was…preoccupied.”

“You’re lucky he kept up on payments,” the man grumbles, opening a door with the key and motioning you inside. “My pleasure to finally have you, regardless.”

Entering the small and sparse room, you take the key from him with a thankful smile and a quick thank you before he closes the door. As the barrier thuds, you sway on your feet. Blinking. Breathing hard. You drop all of your bags with a heavy thump that echoes off the walls in a single instant. Heart pounding at everything that was striking you in an instant, you walk slowly back to the bed. You don’t bother to take a shower or brush your teeth; even change. 

You fall down on the mattress and pray you don’t have to dream about Alex sending money to this place every week simply on a suffocating hope that you’d come back to him. You pray you don’t dream at all. 

The phone wakes you up only thirty minutes later.

Groaning, you shift your body so your hand can snake into your pocket, grasping it and tossing it to the pillow beside your head. You’d never made it through all of the voicemails without crying, so you just deleted all of them and let the inbox fill back up again. 

Feeling the dog tags press against your chest as you form your chest into the bed, you shove your head downward and listen to it ring. 

Bring-bring, bring-bring, bring-bring

It happens in a flurry of a sleep-addled mind and a horrible desperation to see your husband after nearly a full year of no contact. You flip it open and answer with your nose pressed deeply into the pillow below you. Ears straining and pulse running like a starving cat after a mouse. 

Dead silence. 

“...Sweetheart…?” It’s pitiful how fast the tears flood you at Alex’s shocked and tiny voice. Tight breathing sounds over the line from his end and your other hand digs into your scalp. A small, cut-off laugh. “Hey…I—” 

You hang up with a vicious slam of the screen and let the silence settle again. People walk the hall; the sun dims as night sets in. This isn’t home. Dropping the phone back down to the pillow you curl into a tight ball and cry yourself back to sleep.

If you had to guess, you’d say the small curse was what woke you for the second time, though you didn’t register it until minutes later. That muffled ‘shit’ as a foot hits your dropped bags near the door. But then it’s silent again and your ears only twitch to the gentle sigh that brushes against your face; a thumb and forefinger caressing your cheek as hair is placed back over your ear. 

Perhaps the only reason at all as to why you don’t wake up screaming bloody murder is because of his calluses. They burn your flesh as they slide over it—as ingrained into your very being as your own heart is. As if Alex’s touch was another organ that was needed to survive. More important than a liver or a spleen. 

When your eyes slip open he’s leaning back in a chair he had turned to face you, built form shifting as the rickety wood creaks. No more than five feet away sits your husband, and all you do is suck in a tight breath and lock gazes with soft sea glass. 

Alex freezes at the same time, strong brow line peeling back and mustache stiff as his lips immediately thin. You both stare for a good while, a thread of tension entering the air. The night deepens. 

He speaks first, in the dense hours of confrontation. Your heart feels like it’s been stuck with a spear, vignette at the sides of your vision, and a blooming center of only Alex’s body and his messy hair. The scarf around his neck. The combat vest. 

Had he driven all this way to see if you were here? Because you’d answered the phone? But you hadn’t even said anything. Your head stays on the pillow, wondering if you were hallucinating.

“Hey,” Alex forces a chuff before he glances away, nervous arms crossed. “Hey there, Doll. Sorry that I woke you. I…ah,” your eyes bore into him, hand on the sheets slowly clenching into a fist. “I figured there was an off chance you would be here.” He clears his voice, throat closing on a trying laugh. “Guess I’m glad I looked. You should remember to lock your door, by the way.” 

At the sight of your rising glare, his tone drops, expression falling even more than it already was. Deep well of sadness grew in his eyes, lips pulling back in a strained agony. 

Alex’s gaze drops to the floor. 

“I know,” is what hits the air, “I know, Sweetheart. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t fucking cut it,” you push your body up as his large shoulders tighten—such an accomplished and strong man brought to a squirming heap when his wife’s sharp words hit him in the chest. “What the hell were you thinking, Alex?!”

Heavy feet hit the floor as you stalk over, fatigue and tiredness pushed all the way to the back of your mind yet also enhancing your emotions. Bitter rage was sparking—held in far too long. Alex’s eyes don’t meet yours, so you grab him by the chin and angle his head up to you. 

At the sight of your red sclera and the baggy gaze he stills. Under your grip his beard tickles you, the soft grip of flesh that makes you want to wrap your arms over him and weep; make him promise to never leave like that again. 

“I…I wasn’t…”

“That’s the thing isn’t it—you didn’t think.” Sea glass floods over, going glossy; hurt etched into both of your faces as if carved from the same stone. But you don’t stop now, growling out as your skin burns. Alex isn’t sad that you’re angry, he’s sad he’s done this to you. “You disappeared, Alex. Laswell had to just drop all of this shit on me. I thought you had died.” You growl. “Do you know what that feels like?!” 

“Sweetheart—”

“Shut up! You let me talk,” he falls silent, hand delicately coming up to grab your wrist. Not to pull you away, just to hold you. To feel your skin and the heat of it. You sniffle and his eyes break. “And the worst part of it was that if you had just asked I would have followed you right then and there.” Alex sharply looks back at you. “But the biggest insult was that you thought I would leave you—that you even considered that.” 

Shock slowly gives way to a blank expression. He was confused, now.

Was that what you were angry about?

“You’re an idiot, Keller. Hot-headed. Cocky.” You shake your head, but a tiny smile begins to bleed onto Alex’s face. Watching you like you’d just sprung a million dollars on him. His grip slightly squeezes, calloused thumb running the span of your knuckles as you shake his head with your hand. “Damn nuisance to my health, is what you are.” Trying to remain angry is tough when he’s looking at you like that—starstruck—but you spit out, “It’s insulting that you thought I’d just give up on us that easily.”

“Most women don’t want a man who’s wanted for desertion, Doll,” Alex whispers, testing a smirk on his lips with his expression still strained. 

“Arrogant!” your voice snaps. “Not a single brain cell in his stupid little head.” You let go of his chin and grip the sides of his skull, feeling the dirty but still soft strands of hair before you huff at him. 

But he just looks at you and smiles, face smooshed. 

“...You really came?” Alex asks quietly. You fall silent and after a moment you deflate.

After the silence of trying to keep the sneer on your face, you let it drop, lips quivering slightly. Anger glints with pain. “I should hit you upside the head, Keller, for all the worry you’ve put me through,” you grunt, eyes flashing over every new bruise on his face—every cut you’d have to re-learn. He looks tired. 

Oh, Alex…

Before the blond can respond to you, you’ve captured the back of his head and shoved it into your chest; face burying itself into his scalp to bring forth that scent of dust and cologne. You whimper out as he grips you around the waist with just as much fervor, “Did you think that I would stay away?”

Alex says nothing, only the slight tremor in his bicep betraying him. You firmly kiss his skull and run your fingers through his hair, the both of you so tight together there’s barely enough room in your ribs to allow your lungs to inflate. 

But holding him was more important than air, a sentiment that Alex seemed to share entirely. 

“I’m so glad you’re here, Bug.” He mutters into your skin. “Feels good to be able to hold my girl again.”

You stay like that for a long time before you pull back and capture his cheeks, face pulling closer before you kiss him deeply. It’s not a fast-paced or desperate thing—no clashing teeth or tongue. That wasn’t what you needed right now. 

All that you needed was Alex. Your home. 

You both separate and the blond grabs the back of your neck, forcing you back so he can lay another on the side of your mouth; nose, cheek. Anywhere that he could reach as his mustache tickled you to a smile. Giggles worm out and you wiggle out of his grip to wipe at your cheeks, spreading away tiny tear tracks and saliva.

“Quit it,” you whisper, and Alex gazes up at you reverently from his chair.

“Negative, Ma’am,” he says, equally as soft, not even blinking. “Don’t wanna.” You roll your eyes, face hot. 

The seconds draw long of only watching one another before you shake your head and move your hands to shimmy out of the dog tags around your neck. Alex’s gaze locks on the metal swiftly, smile shifting.

“You’re horrible.” You huff, quietly, before shoving his dog tags at his chest. “Now put them back on.”

“But I’m not in the—” Your glare shuts him up. Alex clears his throat sheepishly. “Yes, Ma’am.” 

You nod and watch as they’re resituated around his neck. Right where they should be. When you take a step back to really take him in, there’s a moment where you skim over the state of his left leg. After all, the metal was barely noticeable in the dark. But when you do see it every little part of you shrivels up with confused pain.

Alex stands with a noticeable preference to his right and as he towers over you, fingers coming to grab at your face and slowly drag it back up.

A slightly apologetic look washes over him.

“I’m guessing you didn’t listen to all of the voicemails.” 

“Alex…” you slowly cut off. “You…” Staring at the metal limb instead of the real one, you gape. “...how?”

“Y’know,” he laughs, but you don’t find this funny. He notices and kisses your forehead, tapping his scalp to yours and saying after a contemplative pause, “I think it’s better if I don’t explain it. I’m alright, just...” Alex smiles cheekily, the spark that you love coming back easily as it shimmers in his eyes, “just a little more carbon fiber and aluminum than I was before.” 

You hug him tightly.

“I’m sorry, I should have come sooner—I was just angry, and I wasn’t—”

“Don’t apologize to me,” Alex sighs, grabbing you and maneuvering the both of you to the bed. He sits and you end up laying in his lap like that moment in the bathroom ages ago. “None of this is your fault, okay? You deserve to be angry. I shouldn’t have put such a burden on you.” 

You sigh in his arms, head under his chin and heart finally able to return to a steady pace. Licking your lips, you ask, “Does it hurt?” 

Sending a glance down, Alex’s lips twitch with a grin before it disappears. He hums.

“Sometimes.” Your hand grips his opposite cheek and you lay a kiss on his chin, caressing his flesh.

It’s a tentative kind of love. An understanding and a plea all at once. 

The blond leans back against the wall and pulls you closer, closing his eyes. Finally relaxing for the first time in what seems like forever. But his girl is in his arms, and he’s never been this calm.

“I have a home in Urzikstan,” he confesses lightly, fingers brushing your body and giving way to shivers. You listen, eyes fluttering at the vibrations of his words. “It’s safe—protected. I…want us to live there.” Alex nods against your head, swallowing. “If you’ll come back with me.”

“Yes,” your answer is immediate. “Anywhere, as long as you’re with me.” 

You feel his breath hitch, soft chuckles brushing your hair far better than any comb. There’s a small tremor in his voice as he says, “I love you. God, do I love you.” 

Your lips pull up, body growing heavy with a final sense of home.

“I love you, too.” Soft kisses and tight arms. Shifting tattoos. “But if you ever do something like that again without talking to me, I’m telling Laswell she has permission to put a bullet in your ass.”

His loud laughs shake your body, and you press your face into his neck to steady yourself; smiling.

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[indigosunsetao3]

This gif set is the perfect “passing of the baton” for me finishing Keeping Lines Blurry (Gaz’s story) and starting to A Reason to Try (Alex’s story). Oooh casual story title drop 😉

Gaz is headed out and Alex is tapping in.

“Listen, there’s going to be a lot of angst and you’ll want to give up, but don’t…it’ll be worth it in the end, mate. See you on the other side.” -Gaz

Modern Warfare (2019)

[siddyyyyyyyy]

You're Only Sixteen

wc: 3.7 K

summary: child soldier joins taskforce 141 part FIVE; one, two, three, four ; six

warnings: discussion of child soldiers, discussion of character death

a/n: I have nothing to say, enjoy

Training hall, 7:32, one day before the mission

»C‘mon, focus.«

Ghost taunts you as he is sparring with you, having been at it for probably a few minutes after going out for a morning run. After that glorious nightmare that was indeed a flashback, you have been more focused than anything today. But Ghost doesn‘t care, he really wants to push your limits today and see how much more you can actually endure. And he is really sure you can handle more than you‘re letting on. He saw you take out a man twice your size with a simple fire extinguisher.

Obviously, his words do little to provoke you, but his punches sure do. The sheer amount of sass this man has during sparring sessions is always something you admire about him. With another hard hit against your side, you feel your adrenaline rise before your attacks start to become stronger, finally making him sweat. You‘re not sure why you‘re holding back on him, since back at your camp, you always made sure to be stronger and even meaner in fights, but you also know your camp was abusive, in some way or another. Ghost is quick too, however, and counters your attacks back, putting more force in his hits too.

Finally, the match is more rough between you two, making Ghost struggle to keep up with your movements. It is not clear who is winning the round before you kick his side quickly with more force, making him gasp and launch at you. Before he could actually attack you, you duck and aim for his abdominal area, finally making him stumble. But you don‘t stop there, encouraging him to fall. He does, eventually but not without letting out a curse so bad that you thought he was actually mad at you.

But no, he is far from mad at you. Actually feeling some kind of pride that you actually beat him. Even Soap has a hard time winning against Ghost, but he is also used to the competitive fights between him and Gaz. You help him stand back on his feet, and he gives you detailed critique. Well, he is mostly complaining about the way you‘ve been holding back until now.

»Seriously, you need to stop pretending I‘m fragile. I can take your hits. And I‘ve seen you take down men before. You can do better than that; just don‘t think too much.«

You give him a brief nod back, feeling somewhat lighter. Maybe today‘s morning training is making you finally take your mind off the things that are currently plaguing your mind.

You both start another round of training, having the freedom of taking out of frustration on Ghost, beating him a second time. You believe he is just going easy on you, but the way he pants while he gets up from the mat says otherwise.

Eventually, after some more rounds, in which you both win equal amounts of time, Ghost thinks you‘re ready for the mission, and it‘s time to go to the last official meeting before preparing for the deployment.

Arriving there, you see Laswell and Price already standing by the table, noticing you two enter as well. It seemed like they were talking about something, the room falling silent briefly.

»Still in for the task?«

Price questions you, his tone neutral but his expression having a serious hint in it. You give him a short nod, answering as the day before. Meanwhile, the rest of the team enters the briefing room and settles on standing around the table as usual. Laswell doesn‘t waste any time on getting to the point, starting the small PowerPoint and explaining the steps of the mission even clearer than last time.

The plan changed up slightly, changing up the positions mostly.

»You‘re still paired with Farah. But you will be taking care of the guards outside and keeping watch on the building. After that‘s done, you‘ll be joining the rest inside the building. Since you have the most knowledge about the camp, it will be your responsibility to lead the safest way into the director‘s room.«

The small changeup seems to be quite simple, understanding the task. Instead of ensuring the safety of the children, you will now help them get the so-called bad guys. Or your past superiors and boss. But it‘s better than having to escort your past rival, having dreaded the thought of possibly seeing him again. Laswell looks away from you, focussing her eyes on the slide of the PowerPoint that‘s projected on the whiteboard, continuing with the mission plan.

»Farah has enough men to safely escort the children away, leaving us a clear view of the task at hand.«

She glances back at you, her expression still as dead-serious as the day before.

»Your call sign from now on is ‘Bane‘.«

Soap grins lightly at the call sign, looking your way. Gaz does the same, glancing to you briefly. He only gives you a solid nod, but Soap even gives you a thumbs up. It‘s clear they both seem to want to hype you up in a subtle manner. Ghost, however, only gets the simple message behind the call sign; seeing the first mission together had left a big impression.

The briefing goes on, with Laswell mostly leading the meeting as the rest listens, only sometimes interjecting or asking questions. You stay quiet though, just letting the whole plan go over in your head several times and also getting used to your call sign.

Maybe you worry too much because you feel the muscles around your arms start to hurt lightly. It‘s not a sharp pain but more of a dull, throbbing pain around your forearms that makes you feel uncomfortable overall. No matter what, though, you stay still and calm during the briefing until you can finally leave for lunch and have a small break. The muscle ache subsides slowly as you make your way to the mess hall with Gaz and Soap, getting your food trays, and sitting down at your usual table. Finally, the ache seems to fully go away, letting you eat in peace. Of course that familiar ache was a thing even before joining this team. Due to being exposed to high stress situations at a young age, it must be your body‘s way of showing you stress since you mainly go through the stress and do anything to complete a mission.

Ghost passes by your table and sets the capri sun down on it, leaning his hands on the table as he looks at the rest.

»She beat me four times at sparring today.«

No one would have expected it, but Soap was the first one to process his words and drop his fork into his plate.

»You broke my record!«

He looks to you with a betrayed look, crossing his arms in a pouty way as he stares at you with his mouth wide open.

»Soap‘s havin‘ beef with a teenager now.« Gaz mumbles amused while he watches his teammate‘s reaction, only hurting his ego even more.

»I‘m not!« Soap glares at his teammate before looking back towards you, »In a matter of a few days, righ‘?«

You don‘t get what he is asking for a moment before you glance at Ghost, unsure of what to say. You beat Ghost four times today. Not four times in a year.

The lack of response makes Soap groan and hit his head on the table in a dramatic way. He could‘ve answered his own question, considering you are there for almost two weeks by now, and you have only been training with Ghost for today.

Ghost feels visibly smug and wanders off to his office, probably eating alone once again. The table isn‘t silent for too long as Gaz continues to tease him for getting his record broken by you, munching on the food while discussing this childish topic. In Soap‘s mentality, there is no such thing as ‚childish‘, because as long as it makes you happy or gives you a purpose in life, it doesn‘t matter if people find it funny or not.

Eventually, you finish your meal with the rest, starting on the capri sun now, as you walk out of the mess hall. Soap excuses himself to join Ghost in his office and bicker about his broken record, leaving you alone with Gaz, or ‚Kyle‘, for you, as he tells you to call him now. He suggests a walk around the park again, easily agreeing to such a request.

You start walking beside each other, the conversation starting off with him asking you something out of concern.

»Nervous for the mission? It‘s a pretty big one.«

»It should be fine. I‘m used to high-pressure operations.«

Kyle can‘t help but feel his heart break every time you say something mature like that. A literal teenager shouldn‘t be feeling like this. Getting a big responsibility thrown in their way, having to act tough and not be allowed to feel fear or back down, constantly needing to keep up your fitness and strength… it‘s too much, and he really wonders if you are actually so strong and capable, or if you are good at pretending.

Maybe he is worrying too much, but he knows he was busy trying to beat his friends at ‚Need for Speed‘ and ‚Mortal Kombat‘ in high school instead of worrying about things like you are right now.

»Are you though? It must be a lot, raiding your old camp and arresting your old superiors. There‘s a lot to process.«

He didn‘t mean to pressure you even more or get you into some sort of stressful situation, but you started to get defensive.

»I am used to this. There is nothing new about this, and...« You pause, trying to figure out how to say this and also not cringe at yourself, »I have a team now.«

Kyle raises his eyebrow lightly at that, not able to hide his light surprise. He doesn‘t know the system you had back there, really only Ghost being the lucky – or rather unlucky one – to know about the unusal system. And you are sure that Kyle would be even more devastated if he heard about those. A brief moment of silence goes by before he speaks up again.

»You trust us a lot, don‘t you?« His voice becoming more solemn. You give him a brief nod back, not daring to look into his eyes. He sees it as the best positive response he‘ll ever receive from you and just walks beside you quietly.

The conversation turns into something more light afterwards, getting to joke around a little bit with him as he mostly explains you what vines are and tells you some of the more popular memes, which you find rather absurd but funny.

The rest of the day went by relaxed. Or as relaxed as possible, since you still sometimes got a muscle ache and there wasn‘t any official training or meeting until the flight, leaving you some time to fully set into the new mission and get ready.

You keep checking for the small Polaroid in your bag; paranoid that it will vanish into thin air, but it doesn‘t.

Flight, 4:00

The flight came by quicker than you wanted it to be. Even though you want to get your revenge on every single one who wronged you, you can‘t help but feel wrought up about it.

But you don‘t have time to think about it now as you‘re getting into the helicopter with the others, being too tired to give a fuck about any of your worries anyway. Once you got all the essentials into the vehicle, you took a seat and put the headset on. Nikolai‘s chirp voice comes through, greeting everyone again.

»Ah, good mornin‘ guys! Ready to kick some ass?«

Kyle snorts beside you as he hears the motivated voice from the pilot, shaking his head lightly.

»Always. Drive already.«

Price responds as he makes it comfortable on the seat in front of you, looking towards the cockpit where Nikolai is just doing some final check-ups.

»It‘s flying, Captain. Flying.« Nik quips back, a little disappointed by the lack of enthusiasm from the team, eventually starting to fly to Urzikstan. You wonder how the pilot can be so cheerful most of the time, it being literally four in the morning, and you are about to fly for approximately eight hours. He must intake some serious drugs before every flight, because you‘ve never seen such a happy Russian man before.

Speaking of the devil, he calls you over to the cockpit, and you wonder what he might possibly want from you now. You step into the cockpit, standing behind him as he flies, glancing to you. He motions for you to take your headset off, wanting to speak privately.

»I didn‘t tell anyone, but I built a sound box in here. You listen to music? You can choose here, just play whatever you like.«

Meanwhile, the rest of the team discusses something among themselves, not paying much attention to your conversation with Nik.

And, of course, you know a thing or two about music. Well, you do have a favourite band since the camp played most of their music in the gym.

You look towards the device he shoves into your hands, having a bit of trouble understanding the mechanics of it, but you figure it out quite quickly. The first tones go off in the helicopter, making you flinch lightly. Nikolai nods along to the music for a moment, smiling satisfied and glad you didn‘t put on Taylor Swift.

»Nik?« You quickly give the device back to the man as you hear Price approach you both, playing as neutrally as possible. But the pilot doesn‘t even spare so much of a glance to the captain, seemingly too focused on controlling the helicopter.

»Why is Papa Roach playing at full volume?«

Price questions, looking to Nik and then to you. His expression seems more confused than annoyed, not having expected some music on the flight. But he seems to piece it together fairly quickly with how quiet you are and that you happen to just stand innocently by him.

»Bloody hell...« He sighs out softly and leaves you two be, returning back to the rest.

The rest of the flight consists of you talking to Nikolai, him mostly rambling about the helicopter you are both in and talking about some more mechanics and other planes and jets he once got to fly with. At the same time, the music plays in the background, realising mid-fly that he also installed some serious bass subwoofers within the sound boxes. The playlist seems to change, as you hear some unfamiliar songs that seem to be the stuff he usually enjoys. You ask him about it, feeling like he is the most easy and fun to talk to by far. Beside Kyle.

»Oh, that‘s my favourite band, Slaughter To Previal! I‘ve seen them live last summer in Moscow… Their show was something else. Do you like them so far?«

You take a small moment to answer, actually finding it rather strange and also a little too much. But you certainly respect his passion for this specific band. It seems like they are singing in Russian too.

»It‘s definitely energetic. And loud.«

Nik barks a laugh at your answer, understanding it might be something new and strange for you, considering you mostly know something about the nu-metal band ‚Papa Roach‘.

The last four hours of the flight go by with some occasional naps against Soap‘s shoulder and listening to the conversations the others have.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you are back in Urzikstan. The very same country you spent most of your life in. Where you wished to never return.

But this is about getting a mission done. The most important mission you‘ve ever had, probably.

Nik lands in a big landing field near a smaller base, the surroundings being familiar to you. The scenery is mostly bland, the sun being out by now, and the base being located in the middle of a desert. As you walk out, the hot sun surprises you, making your shield you eyes with your hand from it.

There are already some extra people that help with the baggage and all the equipment you brought for the mission. You stand by the others, making sure not to get lost, and stay by Kyle‘s side, seeing him stretch his back from the long flight.

Two people approach your small group, seemingly apart of the operation and base, the same people who will help with your task just tomorrow.

»Good morning, old man. I heard you have a new addition?«

Farah greets Price, making you finally look to her and to the man beside her. Kyle goes in for a hug with the man who introduces himself as Alex Keller to you, seeming like a decent dude.

Price goes to introduce you to them but gets cut off by Farah.

»No, I know her. How‘s your arm?«

Even you are surprised by her directness, and the team seems to be even more surprised. Gaz is the first one to actually speak up about the initial surprise, gesturing between the two of you.

»You… know ‘er?«

The air seems to tense for a moment before Farah nods and explains finally, seeing that you are still not a talkative one.

»We met three years ago, during a raid. I‘m glad she‘s with you now.«

After that brief explanation, it seems like some were still confused at the absurdity of you both knowing each other, but no one will press any further for now.

With some more words between the team and Farah, you walk into their base and get back to discussing the mission. Everyone seems to know their task pretty well, but there are still speculations about the operation and camp. What is actually their motive behind it? Why do they even need child soldiers?

»From the information we received from the warehouse, we could only determine where the building is and who it belongs to. We also got a list with all the children inside; they have full files of each of them.«

Price explains as Farah listens, the second in command, Alex standing beside her.

»Bane has most of the intel from all of us, which is why I think she is essential for the mission.«

Farah‘s eyes are mostly on you, studying the way you stick by Ghost‘s side during the brief and seem to be focused on the task as well. You‘ve clearly grown quite a bit during those three years of not seeing each other, but she can still see the scared and rageful thirteen-year-old she once almost took out.

»And this is why she will stick with us after clearing the guards outside. Farah, you still have enough men to escort the children, right?«

Finally, she tears her eyes away from you and nods, getting back to fully focus on the briefing again. The air is serious but not tense. Again, something you are not used to at briefings, even after having been in several one‘s with your team.

Once some more information and planning has been done, checking afterwards if everything is working right, it gets back to preparing more. But before you could join your team in preparing your equipment, Farah gets ahead of you and speaks up. She stands by your side, leading you more towards the exit to speak more privately.

»Seriously, how‘s your arm? I stabbed it really back then.«

She questions with more concern in her features this time, looking at you while walking outside and abandoning the rest.

»It‘s fine, you don‘t need to worry about it. Just got a bit of a scar.«

You dismiss quickly, feeling really glad you are wearing long sleeves today, even though you knew it‘s pretty warm in this country.

»Well… I‘m glad you got into better hands. Your decision?«

She asks again, this time being more light, but not without a hint of seriousness and genuine curiousness.

»Got sent to them because I was starting to lack.«

»Why were you getting worse?«

You really dreaded that question, and there is no way you will be able to answer that without at least your voice breaking. The conversation pauses for a moment before Farah sighs out, realisation setting in.

»I‘m sorry for your loss… When did it happen?« Of course she would realise it that quick. After all, she tried to interrogate you after stabbing you before finding out you are actually still a child.

»Two years ago. Raid mission; I was first in command, but she insisted on entering first.«

You bit your inner cheek, focused on staying calm and not letting any emotions escape as you talk to her. Even when you have only met her two times, she grew on you quite a lot. She is definitely the reason why you kept going as well.

»It‘s like she knew… she - it should‘ve been me.«

Against your will, your voice breaks and apart of Farah breaks too, as you try to explain what really happened. She stops walking and embraces you into a hug, her arms wrapping gently around you with a strong intent to comfort you.

»Don‘t say that. Halime wouldn‘t want you to beat yourself over it. It‘s not your fault.«

She tells you gently as she rubs your back lightly, feeling how tense your shoulders are. Farah always saw a part of herself in you. She was, too, being thrown into a difficult situation as a young child and was forced to continue. However, she also had a brother to care about and also had some sort of company that way. Now, you are the one who has nothing left but your team and this life, in which you are still fighting to survive.

»You need the will to continue, and you have it. But most importantly, we are here for you, and we will make sure to help you through each step. Understood?«

Her voice became a little lighter at the end as she pulled away from the hug just enough to look at you.

You were caught off guard by her hug and comforting words, but you had an even stronger will and motivation to go on the mission with the rest and get it done nicely. Now it‘s time to gear up and make your way to the old camp that once made your life a living hell.

a/n: I actually love Slaughter to Previal, I've seen them live in January and my life changed. Had to really strain myself from not writing from my perspective as Nik was speaking lol. Some proof, lmao:

Hope you enjoyed it!

[st-el-la-luna]

El's COD Kinktober 2024

I figured this would be a good way to keep my blog alive. Expect short pieces, and missed days. But I will do my best

NSFW Minors DNI

1. SOMNOPHILIA: JOHNNY "SOAP" MACTAVISH

Soap wakes up to you moaning in your sleep. He helps you make your dreams a reality.

➳ gnlafab!reader, wet dreams, somnophilia, dry humping, fingering, premature ejaculation, use of "pup" once

2. Sensory Deprivation/Blindfolds: John Price x Reader

Somehow it's better when you don't know it's coming

3. Double Penetration: Alejandro Vargas and Rodolfo Parra x Reader

Your Colonel and Sergeant comfort you the day after a bad date

4. Lingerie: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

You want to surprise Ghost for his birthday. Things go wrong, in perhaps the best way.

5. Mommy Kink: Philip Graves x Reader

After a particularly long mission and several bad months at the company, Graves' spirits are low. He needs someone to take care of him, to tell him he's good

6. Threesome: Kyle "Gaz" Garrick and König x Reader

KorTac has been working alongside Task Force 141 for a while now. Kyle has always had his eye on you, but it becomes clear that the Austrian giant feels the same. Tensions rise between the two until they decide to prove which of them is best once and for all

7. Restraints: Kim "Horangi" Hon-jin x Reader

Horangi is in debt to you and your going to teach him a lesson: either he pays you back monetarily or...

8. Body Worship: Alex Keller x Reader 

Alex thinks every inch of your body is perfect. And he won't stop telling you until he's sure you believe it too.

9. Face Sitting: Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Reader

Gaz overhears you telling Soap you've never enjoyed receiving oral. He decides to change that

10. Exhibitionism: Nikolai x Reader

Nik likes to show you off whenever he can. The Task Force has been eyeing you too much as of late. He reminds them who you belong to.

11. Thigh Fucking: König x Reader

König is just too big

12. Breeding: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

Mid-fuck, Ghost let's slip that he wants to be a mommy.

13. Overstimulation: Rodolfo Parra x Reader

After everything that happened with the Shadow Company, you're just glad to have him back. Your relief at his wellbeing quickly becomes more and, well, you have a lot of stress to work off. But he can take it.

14. Free Use: Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Reader 

You and Kyle have an agreement. Whatever either of you want to do, whenever you want to do it. You both enjoy your agreement.

15. Blood Kink: Nikto x Reader

Nikto comes to your door, desperate. You tell him you can't, you're on your period. Blood has never bothered him before, why would it now?

16. Dry Humping: John "Soap" MacTavish x Reader 

You can't, it's a sin... Luckily even God leaves loopholes.

17. Uniform Kink: Philip Graves x Reader

He can't get enough of the way you look, all dressed up for this event. And you can't get enough of him in his dress uniform.

18. Cockwarming: Alejandro Vargas x Reader 

There's nothing Alejandro likes more than coming home to you. And to his second home, between your legs.

19. Pegging: Alex Keller x Reader

One of his friends bought it as a gag gift. You laughed. Alex didn't.

20. Oral Fixation: Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Reader

Gaz notices how you've always got something in your mouth; a pencil, gum, a lollipop. He can tell it calms you. At a formal event, he senses your stress and gives you something to help ground yourself.

21. Corruption Kink/Loss of Virginity: Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x Reader

After months of dating and never doing more than make out, you ask Soap when you're going to, well, do it. His answer surprises you, and you learn something about yourself that's even more surprising.

22. Spit: König x Reader 

In the heat of an argument you spit at your Colonel's feet.

23. Choking: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

An accidental training misshap leaves Ghost reeling, you help pull him in.

24. Werewolf: Keegan P Russ x Reader

Little Red Riding Hood, you should know better than to wander the woods at night alone. Especially tonight.

25. Spanking: John Price x Reader

John decides to get you back for slapping his ass in front of his men.

26. Predator/Prey: Valeria Garza x Reader

You and Valeria play a game of hide and seek with a twist...

27. Praise: John Price x Reader

Joyn worries he isn't good enough, that he's gone too often. That he's a bad person. You assure him none of its true.

28. Boot Worship: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

You show Simon your new boots. He reacts unexpectedly.

29. Hair Pulling: John "Soap" MacTavish x Reader

You accidentally grab his hair during a spar. He moans like a whore.

30. Cumplay: Poly!141 x Reader

Soap had an idea for a fun game. You're just surprised he was able to rope the others into it too.

31. Wild Card

[indigosunsetao3]

Feral thought of the evening.

There must be something in the air because this came out of nowhere. Written purely on my phone so not super proofread…I’ll do that on the computer sometime this weekend.

Dropping this and running 🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️

Female Reader | tied up, spitting, spanking, squirting

You had worn the little cotton shorts on purpose. Knew that they drove him right up the wall watching how the fabric bunched over your plush thighs and barely covered your ass. How the v between your legs left little to the imagination as the fabric dug into your delicate skin.

So when he gets you bent over the bed after a few hours of teasing, you smirk to yourself as he plucks at them. How he tugs the bunched cotton free from where it had been trapped to rub his fingers along the inside of the gusset. Which you know is wet and judging by the appreciative hum he has figured that out as well.

"Did you wear these for me?" He questions as a hand smooths over the globe of your ass to grab at the hem. "Or to tease me?" He asks, giving you a smart slap that makes your blood sing.

"Both," you answer as you stretch like a cat over the cool sheets, letting your arms splay in front of you as you rest your cheek on the bed. "I know you can't resist them."

"Mmm, I think you also like when the other guys watch you," he taunts as he curls his fingers over the elastic waist and tugs them barely down your backside. "Like the attention," his tone shifts slightly, dropping an octave as he tugs a little more. "Like imagining what they must be thinking about you."

You whine a bit and wiggle wanting him to move faster.

"Oh, you want a reward for how you behaved today?" Alex asks as he bends over your back, planting one of his fists on the bed beside you to hold his weight. "Do you think you deserve that? For making Soap squirm in his seat when you bent so far over to pick up that napkin for him?" He smirks as you roll your head over to glance up at him, still splayed out in a submissive posture that you knew he craved.

"I do," you barely whisper, a smile tugging at your lips. "Because you were watching me just as closely. Watching me as I carefully leaned across the Captain's lap to get a drink for you." He enjoyed the game. Enjoyed watching men lust for you but restrain themselves because they knew that he'd make them disappear for good if they touched something of his without permission. All a dance, all a taunt.

He pulls your shorts down further, exposing your thoroughly soaked cunt to the air. The satisfied sigh that leaves your lips is short-lived as he yanks your shorts taut, pulling the center of them into his fist. The thin line of fabric digs into your thighs as he tugs, and you feel him twist the shorts, forcing your legs together tight.

The shorts you had used to get his attention, to start this game, were going to be your punishment.

You shift a bit, but your legs are locked. Nowhere to go as he holds fast to the balled-up cotton that has turned into biting vices on your thighs. You dart your eyes up to him, a hint of apprehension in your expression and he just smirks at you. When he leans back off his supporting arm, he runs a taunting finger down your cheek before disappearing from your view.

"I think I'll keep you like this for a bit," he remarks as he appraises you, the fingers of his free hand sliding just outside your folds, making you squirm. "Keep still," he warns as he twists the fabric a fraction of an inch tighter so it stings. "You wanted me to look at you, so let me look at you."

He digs his nails into the back of your legs, scratching enough that goosebumps flash across your skin. You can feel your skin heating under his scrutinizing gaze and ache to just turn back and see him, but you know better than to disobey.

"Arch higher," Alex orders as he pushes a palm against your lower back, making your upper body sink even further into the bed.

You do as he orders and grab at the edge of the bed for support when you feel it. He had been so quiet about it that your body instantly jerks at the wet slide, but he grasps your hip to keep you from going far. From wasting it.

You can feel the spit slide from your rim to your entrance and glide down toward your clit before being cut off with how tight your thighs are clamped together. The groan of need escapes you as you bite your lip, doing your best to pry open your legs to let the wad soothe the burning pressure in the apex of your thighs.

"Something wrong?" Alex asks as he trails a finger through the spit that has glided down the seam of your legs. He slowly drags it up, and you tense, waiting before he finally rubs the slickness against your folds. You sigh with relief as he smooths his fingers over you, spreading you apart as he does.

"Please," you whine as you try to push back against his taunting fingers. He's barely sunk them into you and as he feels you push he pulls away. You are doing this on his terms.

"Stay still," he orders again, and you swallow the agitated huff, knowing he'll just prolong it even more. And, as if he suspects you'll protest, he waits to move. When you stay silent, he chuckles a bit, "good girl."

The praise sings along your skin, and you grin to yourself before a filthy moan escapes your lips. Without warning, he pushes two fingers into you, as far as they can go, and you clamp hard around the welcomed invasion.

The stretch burns, but you don't fight it. Instead, you huff as he begins to work you open properly, fingers scissoring and twisting until slick noises and your pants fill the room.

Alex doesn't let you help him at all, hand still holding tight to the shorts to stop you from opening your legs to make it easier. To keep you from releasing that building pressure on the bundle of nerves so the blood pounds almost painfully.

“Keep going,” you beg, forehead on the sheets now as you try to arch more. There’s no room for you to go anywhere; your body contorted to its max. He doesn’t relent, doesn’t ease up as he fucks you with three fingers now, making you slick and pliant.

When you come, it’s loud and shuddering, your body tensing and trying to coil on itself. He continues to push you through it. As you come down, back unlocking to a more relaxed position, he draws his fingers away. But you aren’t empty for long.

He quickly notches at your entrance, hand tugging your thighs back to him with your shorts. You hiss at the bite of cloth on your already sensitive skin, sure that you’ve got some type of fabric burn and will certainly bruise. He doesn’t acknowledge your quiet protest as he slides himself in.

“Still fucking tight,” he groans as he bottoms out.

He’s not wrong. With the way he has your legs locked, he feels that much bigger, and you feel that much fuller. You can feel every ridge of him as he rocks his hips back before snapping forward again, punching the air out of your lungs.

Alex isn’t gentle. Each snap of his hips makes you gasp, and you fight to keep your body in the same spot to meet him. His thighs slap yours sending a vibration to your still clenched clit. You need to release the pressure, need to ease that ache that’s starting to consume you.

“Please,” you whine, voice a pathetic lilt as you reach a hand back to pry at your shorts. You scramble one-handed at them, trying to pull them off your skin, out of his grasp. “Please I need,” you try and Alex slows his movements to watch you fumble about.

“What do you need?” He coos as you try to look up at him, eyes rolling up as he snaps forward into you again. “Use your words,” he taunts as he grinds into you.

“The pressure, I feel like,” you start, but he knows. He knows exactly what is happening because he can tell how your body is squeezing him.

In an instant, he lets go of your shorts, the fabric loosening its biting grip on your legs. You can feel the blood rush to your numbing feet, and you open your legs to let some of that building tension in your clit ease.

But Alex’s hand is there. He’s coaxing that tension to explode instead of dissipating. As he pushes into you just a bit deeper, now that your legs are opened wider for him, you come undone.

“That’s it, pretty girl,” Alex says as you push up on both hands to try to regain some semblance of control. Your body feels like it never has before and has done something you’ve never experienced.

“Fuck you’ve needed to come, haven’t you?” He asks as his fingers rub hard circles against your clit, so soaked you’re afraid you didn’t just come. “So wet for me,” he praises as he slides his fingers to smear the slick over your lower belly and hip before he grabs you again to continue to fuck you.

You lean back into him as he sets a ferocious pace into you, so slick and soft for him now there is zero resistance. You keen as you feel him tighten and twitch inside of you, and when he growls his release, you cry out as he fills you.

Alex snaps his hips a few more times before he stops moving and lets you fall forward into the bed spent. You feel as if your whole body is twitching from the aftershocks of your orgasm. But those twitches are nothing compared to the overstimulated flinch your body makes as Alex smoothes his hand over your ass and between your legs to play with the mix of his spend and yours.

“I’m going to have to tie up your legs more often if it’s going to get you to squirt all over me like that,” Alex says with a small laugh as he gently spreads your legs more to get a look at the mess you both made.