#anakin's younger sister
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Ahsoka: There’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.
Anakin, from the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.
#source: tumblr#younger sister core#star wars#incorrect star wars quotes#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#star wars episode iii: revenge of the sith#star wars episode ii: attack of the clones#star wars episode i: the phantom menace#ahsoka tano#clone wars incorrect quotes#incorrect clone wars quotes#snips and skyguy#star wars: the clone wars#the clone wars
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old Obi-Wan is so funny to me because his sass and overall bitchiness is like the last thing he's got and I'm so proud it survived the great depression of his 40s.
#morgs rambles#star wars#obi wan kenobi#this post was originally about how sass and bitchiness are whats left of his charisma pts#and i was going to list all the docks to his stats#which i mean ill put them here because its funny#also eating warm uncooked broccoli as i type this#achievement unlocked! abandonment issues and lack of self worth#achievement unlocked! dead master/parental figure#achievement unlocked! war general ios version 2#achievement unlocked! your child hates you#achievement unlocked! first girlfriend/ first love dead#achievement unlocked! younger sister/ daughter firgure leaves (youll never learn her fate)#achievement unlocked! weird grandfather dead (killed by your child/little brother)#achievement unlocked! complete extended family killed#achievement unlocked! two murder attempts via husband and child#achievement unlocked! friend dies in childbirth#achievement unlocked! small child#achievement unlocked! entire allit persumed dead or hostile#achievement unlocked! friend and friend's planet explodes#achievement unlocked! ghost#anakin skywalker#codywan#ahsoka tano#commander cody#sw rots#rots#sw tcw#twc#new hope
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More clone wars headcanons (it's just Ahsoka and Anakin)
No matter how only Ahsoka gets Anakin will always see her as that little 14 year old who strong-armed her way onto a battlefield
Honestly he isn’t very aware of this but there are tiny moments when it becomes very clear
There are moments when people ask how old his padawan is and he’ll go “Oh she’s” and he’ll take a moment for some mental calculations and say “she’s 18 kriff she’s 18”
And he’ll kinda sit in silence with that fact for a couple of seconds
There’s also moments when people will call him out for getting her age wrong
Like he’ll go “Don’t bite off more than you can chew Soka you’re only 14 after all”
Ahsoka will reminds him in two days she’s be turning 20 when Anakin argues that fact Obi-Wan reminds him that he’s 25 which would make her 20 in a couple of days Anakin just kinda stares at a wall
Ahsoka tried to snap him out of it but Obi-Wan stopped her with a quite “let him grieve Ahsoka”
No matter how old the two get they will always play pranks on each other if anything the intensity grows with them
When Ahsoka when 14 she would save small handfuls of sand to put in Anakin’s shoes
And he would have thought it was just left over from some mission if the sand didn’t keep appearing after he emptied it out
That and he caught Ahsoka red-handed and chased her sneaky ass around the temple until they were both too tired to care
When Ahsoka turned 20 she hid sand everywhere in his shoes and in his pockets, girl even got it in some of his mugs
He knew it was her cause he knew her m.o but she won’t admit to it and she doesn’t stop to matter how much he begs
The breaking point is when he finds his bed covered in sand which he deems going too far cause even tho Padme literally couldn’t care less
He tracked her down and kept her in a headlock until she admitted defeat
It wasn’t a chocking headlock mind you it’s just tight enough to keep her in place he just drags her around the whole base while he goes about his business
Anakin’s prank was pretty simple he would slowly steal all her head wraps
At first she didn’t notice anything she just thought Anakin stole one during training and put it somewhere
But after a couple of days of not being able to find it she discovers another one went missing
And the cycle continued like that for years
It didn’t bother her but sometimes when she was going out with friends and couldn’t find her favorite ones you’d hear her scream “Ani where’s my leather head wrap?”
And he’d act all innocent saying that he “has no idea what you’re talking about snips maybe you misplaced it again”
And she’d groan and go look for a different one because she didn’t have enough time to interrogate him
Anakin waits a couple of years to pull off his full prank which is convincing everyone he can to wear one of her head wraps and act like nothing is going on
And he gets a good amount of people too including some of the clones and even the twins
The only people who wholeheartedly reject being a part of the plan are Padme and Obi-Wan they discovered years ago that it isn’t wise to get involved in their prank war
Honestly Ahsoka would have thought she lost her mind that day if she hadn’t found every single head wrap she lost hidden around her quarters
It kind of becomes a running joke of how protective Anakin is of Ahsoka
Some stories being blown out of proportion about how Skywalker single-handedly moved the ruble to grant her freedom form the tank
Some say how he searched on the ground day and night when Ahsoka was captured by the hunters
Criminals claim they barely made it out with their lives if they had Ahsoka in their custody
They both find these stories hilarious but Obi-Wan and Padme know there is a lot of truth in those stories
It doesn’t just stop with the enemy either this man has and will do intensive background checks on every single person Ahsoka meets
And you best believe that potential love interests are kept under the closest watch possible
Rex and his boys are happy to track down the person if they feel they’re acting a little sketchy
Sometimes this ends with actual criminals being put away and sometimes this ends with Ahsoka scolding everyone who had anything to do with it
Some people get 30+ apology letters and a promise that it will never happen again (most of those people can tell those letters were written with grit teeth and a little togruta standing close by)
Anakin does agree to tone down his protective streak and promises to never abuse his power like that again
She didn’t make him stop giving the shovel talk to literally anyone within a three-mile radius of her (mostly cause she didn’t know he was doing it) so he considered that a win
I’m always reminded of how Anakin made it a game to count how many people their squads took out and I was wondering what other games they had
How many times could they lie to the council without getting caught, how many times they crash a ship, and how many times they save each other's lives
Like imagine Ahsoka tripping Anakin and before he can ask why the hell she did that a blast hits the floor and she just goes “That’s 40 for me” as she runs away
Anakin yelled after her “yeah 40 to my 80 snips”
Those numbers also serve as a reminder and reassurance that no matter how dangerous the situation gets they’ll never let that count stop
#star wars clone wars#star wars#the clone wars#star wars headcanons#anakin skywalker#ahsoka tano#obi wan kenobi#padmé amidala#ahsoka and anakin#snips and skyguy#disaster siblings#yall dont understand#this is almost 1000 words long#these two have consumed my every waking thought#get me out of this hell of my own creation#I want to go home#I miss my family#my wife and kids need me but this show is keeping me here#honestly I think half the reason why this dynamic hits so close#is cause it's got the age gap of me and my younger brother#but the dynamic of me and my older sister#so every moment hits like a shot to the heart#because I can relate to a unhealthy level#Ahsoka is on the top of my kin list#me and her share a brain or something
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just read the interview with jake lloyd's mother, lisa lloyd, about his experiences with schizophrenia since being in the phantom menace. i'm glad to hear that he's finally getting help and is reportedly improving, but i can't help but feel absolutely furious about the fact that he was jailed for TEN MONTHS for traffic violations and resisting arrest while in a psychotic episode. the cops wouldn't give him his meds, and denied him hospitalization because "the beds were full". ten fucking months of that. my god.
#jake lloyd#anakin skywalker#the phantom menace#tpm#star wars#posting this both bc it's important as a sw fan but ALSO bc the stigma against psychotic ppl is so absolutely horrendous. i'm sick of it#i was gonna go to bed but i found this in my drafts from earlier today and realized i hadn't posted it yet#also the fact that he was so heavily impacted by his younger sister's death is absolutely heartbreaking. i'm truly rooting for him at this#point. i understand his pain to a degree as someone with bipolar. psychosis is a heavy heavy burden
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can i be so cliche for a second and say anakin skywalker x kenobi!reader
#i’m talking obi wan’s younger sister#or do i make her an oc.. erm#i’ve been thinking about this non stop for months help#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker x reader
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A PLACE IN THE SEA OF STARS
anakin skywalker x f!naberrie!reader word count: 10.4k (my longest yet... i'm so sorry) warnings: two idiots pining, pining, reader is padme's younger sister (whether biological or adopted is up to you), first time having sex, soft smut, angst synopsis: a life spent in padmé amidala's shadow and never once did she ever think she'd be envious of her sister. that is, until anakin skywalker walks his way into her life and she finds herself praying that one day, he'd look at her the way he does at padmé, that she'll be given a place in the sea of stars, that her destiny will include him.
read on ao3
It came as no surprise that Anakin Skywalker would be enamored with her second-to-oldest sister.
After a life spent behind Padmé Amidala’s shadow, she’d grown accustomed to it— being overlooked. But for once, just this once, she wished history wouldn’t repeat itself, wished the prophecy could be rewritten and for once, let it be her who was chosen, who was noticed.
But of course, it’s futile.
You can sink to your knees and pray to whatever higher being is in the sky but at the end of the day, there are millions of lost souls just like you doing the same. You can have faith, you can believe that someday you’ll be heard but with each silent day that passes, your voice still falls on deaf ears.
She’s done her time playing the fool who sinks to her knees and pleads with the night sky to find her a place in the sea of stars, so that she may fit in a constellation too. She’s been the statue who's been made to wait— and she’s started to crumble.
She remembers the day she started to pray like it was yesterday. It was the day she first met Anakin Skywalker, back when he was only a Padawan, still searching for his own place in the world. Her parents were restless then, having heard of the multiple assassination attempts on their dear second oldest daughter. Of course she was worried too, but she still could feel the guilt that settled into the marrow of her bones when she found herself pondering whether her parents would react the same way if it had been her life at stake instead.
She remembers helping her eldest sister, Sola, and her mother with dinner in preparation for the arrival of their sister Padmé and her Jedi escort. She’d been tasked with bringing a bowl of fruit to the table and she remembered nearly being trampled over by her nieces, Ryoo and Pooja, as they squeal Padmé’s name, sprinting for the door.
She remembers huffing, mumbling a curse in an alien language beneath her breath just as their guests step inside, looking up from where she leaned over the table, dropping the bowl down onto the surface. She remembers her breath catching in her throat when her gaze found a sea of blue that put the Naboo waters to shame.
Padmé’s lips curved into a grin as she exclaimed her sister’s name, circling the table to capture her in an embrace. Her sister wrapped her arms around her and her chin found Padmé’s shoulder as the blue that took her breath away crashed into her and she swore everything changed in that moment.
She remembers the first time Anakin Skywalker looked at her. It was a brief, friendly locking of the eyes but a fleeting moment for him felt like lightyears for her. His eyes were the blue of the water where the sun’s reflection gently ripples and warps. They were the blue of the sky after it rains and the sun begins to spill through the cracks of the wall of clouds.
She’s never understood what it meant to be speechless, for something to literally steal the breath away from her lungs. But from the moment her eyes met his, she began to understand.
“Anakin! This is my youngest sister,” Padmé announced, pulling away from their embrace. Her spine stiffened when her sister introduced her and she watched as his full, pink lips moved to form her name. His voice is like nails scraping against the itch she can’t reach on her back, his voice is like velvet she can swallow, deliciously soft and rich against her throat.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Anakin dipped his chin in greeting, the silly, little braid falling off his shoulder. She drained the lump that had formed in her throat, bowing her head. Her lips trembled and her breath was shaky as she prepared her salutations but her words fell dead on the tip of her tongue when Padmé’s squeal permeated the room.
“And my eldest sister Sola!”
And just like that, all attention rolled away from her and onto her eldest sisters but she still watched him, heart beating against her chest.
And that was the moment she began to pray.
She prayed, even though the looks he’d given Padmé didn’t go unnoticed. The way he watched her, even when she wasn’t the one speaking, the way he’d soak in every word, every praise for her that fell past her parents’ mouths. The way he stared longingly at her sister when he was certain nobody was watching— and no one was, for their attentions were on Padmé, save for hers.
It was typical.
It should come as no surprise that everyone would worship the ground her sister— the former Queen, current Senator of Naboo— walked on. She’s not surprised that someone young and benign like him would fall in love with her sister— she’d only seen it happen more times than she ever really cared to count.
And she’d never really cared about all the suitors on their knees at Padmé’s feet before— they were her sister’s problems, not hers. She’d never even really envied her sister, at least in that sense.
But everything changed the moment Anakin stepped through the door. Everything changed the moment their eyes met, if only for the most fleeting of seconds.
So she prayed.
Inside the inner realms of her mind, she sinks to her knees and stares into the void above her, the stars that beamed down at her twinkling, almost as if they taunted her. She swallowed her pride, folding her hands together and raising them to her chin, brow dipping as she pleaded with the higher being in the sky to hear her cry.
“Please, hear me, Maker,” she whispered into her mind, externally staring at Anakin, internally losing her gaze amongst the stars as if the Maker himself would appear between them. “Hear my plea. Whatever destiny you’ve pre-written for me, please be sure it includes Anakin Skywalker.”
She didn’t see Anakin Skywalker again for another year after that.
Apparently, being a Jedi means he’s constantly from place to place, but next time they do end up in the same place, it’s even more fleeting than the last. She was beginning to wonder if she would ever see him again, if she was foolish to continue hoping that he might notice her, that he might even love her. But she still remembers the way his eyes flickered in recognition when they caught hers across the courtyard of Theed Royal Palace. His hair was longer and he didn’t have that ridiculous braid or tiny ponytail on the back of his neck anymore. The Chancellor was speaking to him and another Jedi with umber hair and a matching beard, but his attention was on her.
He looked… darker. As if the years of war had finally begun taking its toll on him. But he’s still the same man he’s always been, still the same one she’s dreamed about. He even looked better.
They don’t get the chance to talk, only share knowing glances, as he was on duty and their paths unfortunately didn’t cross. But that gleaming in his eyes, the one that blazes with knowing is all the kindling in the pit of her belly needs to bloom, to blossom into a raging wildfire.
So, she prayed again.
“Maker,” she said into that night sky inside of her head. The stars shone brighter, as if to laugh at the foolish girl beneath them. She ignored them of course— because she truly believed that one day, she’d prove them wrong. “Please. Hear my plea. Let Anakin Skywalker see me again. Give me a place in your sea of stars and make sure it is in Anakin Skywalker’s orbit.”
She doesn’t see him again for another two years.
But still, he lingers, just like a phantom weaving through every corner she passes, cloaked in shadow. She sees Anakin Skywalker everywhere she goes— in the lakes of shining waters out in the country, in the rain that falls on a dark, cloudy day, in the litany of stars that idle in the sky.
She sees him in her dreams, staring the way he did at Padmé. Only, in her dreams, his gaze finds her. Almost like he had that day in the courtyard, but in her dreams, his eyes would linger longer.
His voice calls out to her whenever she’s sleeping and it lingers in gooseflesh on her skin, frosting over her bones. She’ll open her eyes when he calls but she’s never truly awake. Alas, if dreaming is the only way she’ll see Anakin Skywalker again, she’d gladly succumb to her sleep and trick herself into believing it is real.
Except tonight, she does not think she can take it much longer.
“Anakin,” she whispers one day when she peels her eyelids open after he calls. She says his name like it’ll be the last time she ever will. That look is on his face again— the one she’s seen so many times directed at her in her dreams, she’s nearly forgotten it wasn’t meant for her in the first place.
She used to wake and long for sleep to come again, just so she could watch him look at her like that.
But three long years of waiting and foolishly praying to beings who do not hear have begun to rust the illusion she’s deluded herself into hopelessly believing in. Three long years of silence and she’s finally cracked. She is broken— she sees it now. She’s grown weary of hoping he’d be the one to fix her.
His lips curve to form a smile and for three years, she’s fooled herself into believing it could be for her— truly be for her, outside of her dreams. But to be forthright, she’s tired. She’s grown tired of pretending, tired of clinging onto the dying embers of mere memories of how a man looked at someone that wasn’t her— but rather her sister. She’s grown tired of hoping, waiting, praying that one day, he may wander back into her life and thread his way into the tapestry that her destiny’s been woven into.
Tonight is the night she forfeits with her palms to the sky, tonight is the night she yields to the stars that have taunted her for far too long and admits her defeat. That they were right all along. Tonight is the night she blows away the ashes she’s desperately held so close to her chest and sealed away in secret urns inside for far too long.
Tonight is the night she lets go.
When she wakes the following morning, birds chirp outside her window. Sunlight spills into her room as it rises over the mountains across the lake and she yawns, stretching her arms over her head. Today is merry— it is the day her sister, Padmé Amidala, marries.
Today is merry but instead, she feels dread seep into the marrow of her bones. She’s happy for her sister, really, she is, but it serves only as a reminder that her time is ticking, and time has turned vexing. It serves as a reminder that she must make haste to find her own purpose, to find someone who will cherish her the way she’s spent many fortnights dreaming about. Sola’s already married and found her purpose, and Padmé’s had her entire life laid out before her since she was only fourteen years of age.
Sola, the wife and mother, Padmé, the Queen and then the Senator, and then there’s her. Unsure. Undecided. An ellipsis.
She’s envious. How could she not be? She’s envious that she’ll never be the perfect mother like Sola, envious that she’ll never live up to Padmé’s legacy, she’s even grown envious of the stars: they simply idle in the night sky but even their idleness has a purpose because their places have reason, to create constellations that in turn, tell stories.
She knows that after today, the pressure of fulfilling whatever destiny’s been written for her will only further suffocate her. She will suffocate beneath the weight of this pressure and she will be expected to continue breathing. She’s tried for so long to keep the air in her lungs but it’s so hard when with each day that passes by, the darkness grows more appealing.
She’s tried so hard to find the right path she’s supposed to take, but there are so many roads, so many choices and so many consequences. She’s afraid— and it’s why she’s allowed herself to hide in her sisters’ shadows for so long. But it feels so stifling now.
She sighs and blinks up to the terracotta ceiling. And then of course, dread wears her bones for an entirely different reason. Because it’s inevitable that she’s going to see Anakin Skywalker today. And things will be different.
It’s been lingering like an annoying, little insect since Padmé announced she’d invited her Jedi friends to the wedding, ever since she heard Anakin’s name being read off the list. Things were certain to change because he is but a mere guest, and not the groom.
It may have come as no surprise that Anakin would fall for her, but it certainly came as a shock that Padmé wouldn’t fall for him.
It makes her flesh blaze with a strange anger she’s not quite sure how to describe. How could her sister have something she so desperately wanted but not pursue it? How could she reject Anakin when he would willingly break and bend to her every whim? Why must her sister take his infatuation for granted— why could it not be given to her instead?
She thinks it must be some cruel trick the Maker is playing on her, dangling Anakin in front of her like that, cursing him with an unrequited love when she was right there. She thinks it must be the Maker’s— damn him— cruel way of taunting her, as if the sneering stars had eyes, his eyes. Even if part of her is relieved Anakin is not marrying her sister, it still feels like a blaster wound to her chest, puncturing her skin and searing her insides.
She hears her name called from outside her room’s door and groans.
“What do you want?” She replies in displeasure as the door slides open. Her eldest sister, Sola, steps into the room and glowers at her youngest sister’s tone.
“Well, good morning sunshine,” Sola remarks and she rolls her eyes. Sola makes her way towards the bed, dropping a dress the color of fire onto the mattress. “Is there a reason for your ill-temper today?”
She pushes herself to sit upright, wrinkling her nose at the dress as she takes a fistful of it in her hand. “Orange?” She scoffs, tossing it back down onto the bed. “I thought we were wearing blue?”
Sola shrugs, plopping down onto the mattress. “Padmé changed her mind last minute,” she says. “I suppose if we wore blue, we’d mesh with the background, don’t you think?”
She sighs and flops back down against her pillows, one arm folded over her stomach, the other folded behind her head. Sola pokes her forefinger against her knee and she grumbles, narrowing her eyes at the ceiling.
“Now, answer the question,” her oldest sister insists. “What’s the matter with you?”
Her eyelids flutter closed and she wishes more than anything that she could simply wink out of existence. It’s not that she doesn’t want to be here for Padmé, she does, but she’s uncertain how she could possibly explain how she feels to Sola in a way she could understand. It’s exactly this that’s made her feel so alone all these years.
She’s never had someone who could understand her, really get her. She’s always been different from her sisters, even before marriage and coronations and political promotions. It’s something she’s certain her sisters have known, that even her parents must’ve known. She’s never been jovial and nurturing like Sola, or clever and independent like Padmé. She’s always preferred silence and privacy, and maybe that’s been her problem. But it’s all she knows, being alone.
Sola’s never spent years yearning for a boy who yearns for another, so she couldn’t possibly understand. She doesn’t think she could even make her understand.
She sighs, lolling her head to the side until her gaze finds Sola’s.
“Not looking forward to wearing that dress for the entire evening,” she says instead. Sola’s eyes roll and she leans over to pinch her calf beneath the covers. She hisses and swats her sister’s hand away as she clicks her tongue, moving out of the way.
“Oh come on, it’s not that bad,” Sola tries to reason.
“It’s hideous,” she deadpans.
Sola deflates with the acceptance of her defeat. She grabs her sister’s knee, giving it a shake. She glares at her older sister.
“Come on, that can’t be the only reason why you’re in such a foul mood,” Sola insists, her bottom lip rolling in a pout and she swears it’s almost comical how her eldest sister can act like such a child. It’s a wonder how she has children of her own.
She blinks at Sola as a sort of realization creeps onto her eldest sister’s face and she blinks, internally grimacing. For she knows that whatever is bound to come out of her sister’s mouth next is going to be completely and utterly wrong.
“I think I get it now,” Sola’s tone is softer, her face falling to match it. “You’re upset you’ll be the last of us to be married.”
And there it is.
She internally cringes at just how wrong Sola is but she says nothing, further prompting her sister to lean forward, reaching for the hand that rests on her stomach. Her muscles stiffen when she takes it and she wills herself to stay still. It was better to let Sola say whatever she had to say than recoil and deny it— it’s not like she had any better excuse anyways.
“I know it can be tough,” she begins. “Feeling like you’re left out. Believe me, I had my fair share of it. I was so jealous of yours and Padmé’s relationship when you were younger because I was so much older, I felt like I just didn’t quite fit in with you two.”
Her eyes finally meet Sola’s and she begins to see her eldest sister in a different light. All this time, she’s believed she’s the only one who’s felt this way— lost, left behind. While this isn’t quite the same context, she still feels her heart tremble in her chest for her sister, still feels like something’s shifted. It’s at least one thing they can understand each other on.
“But then, I found my husband. And then I had Ryoo and Pooja,” Sola continues. “And it was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve never been so happy in my life.”
Sola’s grip tightens around her hand and she leans forward to place her other one on top. “I know it must seem hard, seeing as both Padmé and I are married— well, almost anyway.” Her lips curve into a soft, reassuring grin. “But you’ll find that same happiness one day. I just know it. So don’t fret, little sister.”
And there, she fears, is where her sister misses the plot.
She almost wants to laugh at how ridiculous this all sounds. She remains silent, however, and Sola gives the back of her hand one last reassuring pat before she lets go, sliding off of the mattress.
“Anyways, I’m going to breakfast. You should come too before all the blue waffles are gone.”
She watches as her eldest sister slips out of the room, the door sliding closed behind her and she sighs, digging her knuckles into her closed eyelids until the galaxy shimmers before her. How could Sola have come so close to understanding her one minute only to read her so wrong the next?
She doesn’t make any effort to get out of bed and in all honesty, she wishes she could simply stay here forever, or at least for the rest of the night. At least long enough that she doesn’t have to face Anakin Skywalker.
Because even though she’s already promised herself that she’d let him go, she wasn’t entirely certain she could hold true to her own word when she sees him again.
The day goes by in a blur. In the blink of an eye, she’s wearing a satin dress in that deep orange she finds hideous beside Sola who stands beside Padmé. Padmé stands facing her husband-to-be, fingertips delicately placed in his palms as they recite their vows.
The sun paints the villa’s terrace with an orange glow and she watches it sink beneath the mountains across the lake from the corner of her eye. The sunlight looks like fire rippling in the gentle waves of the water below and she has to look away because she thinks of Anakin, how his eyes glimmer just the same.
She’s determined to keep her gaze away from the audience, however, because she knows he’s there, the incarnation of all she’s ever wanted, of all her bad ideas, of everything she cannot trust herself with in one. She searches the ground below, watches the way her dress ruffles with the breeze, like fire askew in the wind.
Padmé says something that makes the audience erupt in laughter and it startles her, so much that the hair on the back of her neck erects. When she flinches, she makes the mistake of blinking up— right into the eyes she’d been bound to avoid all night.
The world around Anakin Skywalker seems to stir until it’s all wet, blurry hues of orange, green, and white. Anakin is the only one she sees in high resolution— she can see every lock of wavy, dark blonde hair, every rippling wave in his irises, the scarlet line that slices just beside his right eye. She’d never seen this scar before— it must be new.
But what’s the most peculiar of all is that she meets his eyes— she meets his eyes. She’d blinked up to find he’d already been staring, already transfixed on her by the time their gazes met and his eyes had illuminated with that same knowing gleam she’d seen in them that day in the royal courtyard.
Anakin Skywalker is looking at her and she is not in a dream. It’s both momentous and utterly devastating all the same.
She isn’t quite sure whether to look away or not. This is what she's mooned over more times than her pride will allow her to admit. She’s dreamed this many nights, for Anakin Skywalker to simply look at her and now he is. Anakin Skywalker is looking at her and she should feel elated but instead she feels… conflicted.
Does her heart flutter in her chest? Sure.
Does her stomach twist itself into knots? Certainly.
She felt so confident just the night before when she threw her hands up in surrender to the black sky, admitting her defeat to the stars who spent many moons mocking her that she was done. She felt so confident that she was ready to move on, to let go of this desire she’s harbored for Anakin for so long.
With the simplest of looks, Anakin Skywalker has proven capable of crumpling the paper walls she’d placed around herself. She was left feeling feeble, exposed and any sense of courage she thought she had was now lost.
Because three years of waiting and praying to higher entities who did not hear her pleas could not cease overnight. Her attraction to Anakin Skywalker could not cease in hours. She thought she’d extinguished the last flames of her withering hope but, as it turns out, a single dying ember remained. It means a part of her still yearned for him. A part of her still burned for him.
She wonders now, that he’s still looking at her, what possibly goes on inside his head. Why does he look at her now? Why does he stare, why do his lips twitch before curving in a smile when their eyes meet, why do they irradiate the longer her gaze lingers on his? Why does he not look sad at the wedding of the woman he loves? Why does he not even look at Padmé?
Her mind swirls like a tempest— churning with unhinged, vicious anguish. She has to look away before the acid that bubbles in her throat can come to fruition but she can’t, and Anakin seemingly can’t tear his gaze away from her either. It’s all the more sickening and earth-shattering nonetheless. Her heart swells and pounds in her chest, the border of her vision beginning to blur with the familiar sting of tears. Her head is aching and it’s all just too much— she needs an escape.
“I now pronounce you, husband and wife.”
She blinks away her emotion to the best of her ability, using the end of the ceremony as an excuse to look away as the crowd around her thunders with applause. Her mind is reeling and she feels like her head is spinning as she subconsciously claps her palms together, the sound muffled like water in her ears. The watercolor around her stirs until it’s clear again and the entire world suddenly seems to move again— it’s her, this time, that’s in slow motion.
The cheering sounds like thunder, the applause like rain pelting against a window, and her mind begins to crumple, just like metal. She longs for escape, to flee and to be beside herself for the rest of the night. Padmé and her husband begin walking back down the aisle as their guests congratulate them, tossing flower petals into the air above them. She thinks that this is her chance to escape, she thinks everyone is distracted enough that no one will notice her leaving.
They never cared to notice her before anyways.
She begins to shuffle away but she doesn’t make it very far before her stomach lurches when someone clasps a hand around her wrist, tugging her forward. She snaps her head to the source to find her eldest sister, Sola, with her face illuminated by a grin.
“Come on!” Sola exclaims, dragging her down the aisle and back inside the villa. “It’s time to party!”
Dread drains the blood from her cheeks but she’s given no time to protest before she’s being dragged down the aisle, right past Anakin Skywalker. She doesn’t dare look up but she feels him when she passes by, a mere brush of the arms, the feeling of his elbow brushing going just as fast as it came.
And it’s still enough to make liquid of her insides.
She drowns in a sea of people as she and Sola find Padmé, wrapped in their mother’s arms. She can hear her heart drum in her ears as Sola releases her hand to draw Padmé into an embrace, tears streaming down the apples of her cheeks. Everyone around her is so happy and she should be too— but she still feels like she’s beside the altar, caught in the trap Anakin has seemingly laid out for her.
A tear that’s been painfully dormant in her eye falls and she’s certain her distress shows on her face but it must be easily mistaken for tears of joy, because Padmé pulls away from Sola to turn to her, drawing her in for a hug. Her sister’s arms wrap around her body, a palm on her back, the other cupping the back of her head. Even Sola reaches forward to give her upper arm a reassuring squeeze, undoubtedly thinking back to the conversation they’d had earlier.
“Don’t cry for me, baby sister,” Padmé laughs tearfully beside her ear. She can feel Padmé’s smile against her shoulder. She pulls away and rubs her palms up and down the length of her arms. “I’m still the same Padmé I’ve always been.”
She’s unable to reply— again, she’s misunderstood. But it’s her sister’s wedding day, she won’t burden her with her own confliction. So she swallows the boulder-sized lump in her throat, curving her lips just enough to form a tight-lipped smile.
“I’m just… happy for you,” she manages. Padmé cups her cheek and soothes the pad of her thumb over her skin before Ryoo and Pooja draw her attention away. Padmé’s hands fall from her arms and finally, she can breathe.
But even that is momentary.
“You make a perfectly fine bride if I do say so myself, Senator.”
Her spine stiffens. She knows that voice. And she knows exactly who is near when she hears it.
Padmé laughs and tosses her hands. “Obi-Wan,” she greets him just like an old friend would, pulling him in for an embrace. “And little Ani.”
How is it that she’s already seen him more tonight than she has in the past three years? She sees Anakin’s dark boots from the top of her vision, not daring to tear her gaze from the ground.
“Padmé,” Anakin’s deep, enriching voice sounds and rumbles deep in her belly. She shifts uncomfortably where she stands, desperate to flee. She thinks she can manage it now— Obi-Wan and Anakin are engrossed with Padmé now, right?
She begins to make her first attempt of escape, taking slow, careful steps to the side until her second effort crumbles when Anakin speaks her name.
Ice frosts over her spine and she’s no choice but to acknowledge the man she was so intent on avoiding the entire evening. Padmé and Obi-Wan are engrossed in their own conversation but Anakin’s gaze remains on her, eyes even sparkling when she finally meets them.
Her mouth is a desiccated oasis and her throat feels like a desert as it constricts painfully when she swallows. Still, she manages to breathe out, “Anakin.”
It’s the first time she can ever recall having a true, proper conversation with him. The last time being when they said their goodbyes that very first time before he and Padmé left for the Lake Country. It’s confusing how this is everything she’s ever wanted yet, she feels an urge to push it all away.
Anakin clears his throat and his eyes flicker to his feet for a moment as if he could possibly be nervous before they find hers again. “You look good,” he says and her heart stops beating in her chest. “That dress is beautiful on you.”
She thinks she could punch him.
Or kiss him.
She has to look away, or she may very well do the latter.
She wonders if this is some cruel, senseless joke the Maker is playing on her. She wonders if she’d upset him by unlatching herself from his hook and this is his way of reeling her back in. She hates that it has the potential to work.
“I…” she stammers and closes her lids frustratedly, willing air back into her lungs. She shakes her head— she cannot be here any longer. She may very well explode if she has to succumb to this torture for even a second more. “…thanks. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
And then, she bolts.
She’s lost track of how long she’s been locked in her room, sitting in the window, staring at the moonlight that ripples in the water below. It was long enough for the chatter downstairs to quiet to murmurs until it finally ceased altogether. The villa is now quiet and suddenly, her room feels suffocating.
With a sigh, her feet meet the floor and she pushes away from the window seat, cupping her neck to roll it around her shoulders as she pads towards the door. It slides open and she slips through, making her way down the hallway leading towards the main foyer. Her dress flows behind her like flames in the wind, the satin cool against her legs as she walks. Fresh, night air greets her and she inhales, letting it flood her lungs as she saunters to the wide terrace ahead.
She stops at the stone arches of the railing and exhales, feeling the wind sift its fingers through her hair, breathing on her skin like a lover in the throes of passion. It caresses her neck and rolls down her back, leaving gooseflesh in its wake.
She’d spent many nights just like this one. Staring at the moon rippling through the water, at the stars that twinkle overhead, the sky that blackens behind them. She’d spent many nights praying, releasing her pleas into the air and letting it drift away with the breeze.
She does not pray this time. When she lifts her head to brave the dark that faces her, she merely asks why.
“Why, Maker,” she whispers beneath her breath. There’s an edge, a strain to her voice that stings her throat, that feels like daggers to her chest. “Why must you be so cruel? I have done everything, I have given you everything. Why wasn’t it enough? Why do you mock me now?”
The stars overhead gleam as they cackle, sneering at the misfit below. “You’ll never have a place among us,” they seem to say. Tears well in her eyes and she drops her head, fingernails scraping the stone edge of the railing. She leans back on her heels and wills herself to breathe before a sob could wrack her body.
She feels lost and utterly alone, and she truly begins to feel like the weight of this prolonged pain has started to fall on top of her. She’s lost and alone and her entire world has started to crumble around her. And then she hears her name.
It’s like the call that haunts her every time she closes her eyes, the same velvety voice that caresses her ear every night when she lies down in bed. But it is not a ghostly whisper this time, because it is real.
Footsteps sound behind her and she further scratches her nails against the railing.
“I was wondering where you wandered off to,” Anakin remarks as he approaches and she can feel him beside her, like a whisper of shadow creeping along her skin. She rolls back onto the balls of her feet and stands straight, sniffing.
“Anakin,” she says, steadily, methodically. As if it took great effort to say it without stammering. She can see him out of her peripheral, dark blonde curls falling when he leans an elbow against the railing, tilting his head in an attempt to meet her eye.
She does not move.
“I was looking for you, you know,” he continues. “You must’ve found a good hiding spot.”
She rolls her bottom lip between her teeth. “I was in my room,” she replies simply, a steely, monotone in her voice.
Anakin inhales and hums. “Then it makes sense why I could not find you. I would never barge into a lady’s room.”
It’s an attempt at humor but she feels anything but. She’s stuck between a rock and a hard place with seemingly no clear solution in sight. She could walk away. She should walk away. She shouldn't spend a single second more in Anakin Skywalker’s presence— she simply couldn’t trust herself to not betray her own vow.
Or she could stay. She could stay and once again succumb to the fool’s game she’s been playing. She could stay and let Anakin Skywalker tie another noose around her neck, allowing him to drag her along for another three years.
She knows what is right. She knows what she should do.
But she’s frozen.
She cannot move, cannot even bring her lips to move so she can speak. She instead wilts, like a rose who once stood beautifully now losing its color, shriveling in on herself until she inevitably withers away.
She can feel Anakin draw himself just an inch closer beside her, and he’s like a single drop of rain that’s enough to somewhat salvage the husk of who she once was.
“Why do you avoid me?” He asks and it’s a question so simply but so damn infuriating all the while. She’s been a volcano in dormancy up until this point, but there’s a rumbling deep within her, threatening to erupt.
“Why are you doing this?” She questions, snapping her head towards him, brows dipped and drawn. Anakin blinks and draws back, a dent forming between his own brows.
“Doing what?” He asks and that feeling of wanting to ram her fist into his face comes back. She turns to fully face him and he pushes off the railing, uncertainty warping his features.
“This,” she gestures between them. “Staring at me. Talking to me. As if we’ve spoken more than hellos and goodbyes to each other.”
Anakin raises a brow, the one his scar pierces, and it warps with the movement.
She continues. “And then you have the audacity to tell me I look beautiful in this gods-awful dress just to spite me.” She is a volcano, no longer dormant, no longer overlooked. She is exploding and Anakin is unfortunate enough to be in her wake.
He shakes his head. “Spite you?” He repeats. She begins to pace, a hand on her hip, the other rubbing her chin. Anakin follows, exactly like a lost puppy. “I wasn’t— I would never—“
“Don’t say you’d never,” she turns on him, sticking an accusatory finger in his face. He blinks from it back to her, that ocean in the irises of his eyes raging, lightning cracking in the sinkhole at its center. She drops her hand and it curls at her side, her fists two shaking balls of fury. Blood bites her cheeks and she thinks of all the times she’s imagined speaking with Anakin Skywalker, of being alone with him.
This certainly was not how she’d ever imagined the scenario playing out.
She inhales. “Don’t say you’d never do anything to spite me while you are actively using me to get over Padmé,” she exhales, braving the stormy sea in his eyes. The tide shifts and his manner does too and she believes she’s already cracked him. She thinks she’s already shattered the illusion he was trying to create, that she’s lifted the wool he’s tried to veil over her eyes.
She thinks that he believes whatever game he was trying to play was over.
Anakin straightens. “You have no idea what you are talking about,” he says and she scoffs, backing away.
“Don’t I?” She retorts. “You don’t think I’ve noticed how you’ve always looked at her? How you’ve always loved her?”
It brings her great pain to merely mention it. Her palms wipe at her face as tears begin welling in her eyes again, her cheeks warm as she desperately tries to quell the beginnings of a sob that stutters through her chest. She realizes now that by keeping all of these emotions, these feelings she’s harbored for Anakin for so long bottled has made her restless, has made her tick like a time bomb.
And her time to detonate has come.
He says her name again and tries to step forward, reeling back when she steps away from him. His hand wrapped in a leather glove hovers in the air between them and he drops it with an exasperated sigh.
“Your sister means a great deal to me, yes,” he begins. “But it is not—“
“My sister is the sole reason why you torment me!” She snaps. “And you have no right to use how I feel against me just because she does not love you back.”
Her words are an arrow meant to strike, to pierce through his chest, his heart her target. Her words are meant to cut deep, to draw blood, to make him bleed just like she has everyday since they met. She thinks they will, she thinks her blows will etch deep, will even leave scars in their wake. Part of her longs to see that pained expression upon his face, just like the one she wears now.
But her arrow merely grazes, soaring past until it sinks in the shining waters below.
Anakin’s face shifts but it is not in the way she thought it would, not in the way she hoped it would. His brows dip and his eyes swarm with a pained sort of desperation she’s never seen before in someone. She certainly never expected to see it in someone like him. His chest rises and falls with his breaths as he steps forward again. She stands still, unable to move. She is stunned— Anakin Skywalker has surprised her.
“Padmé does not love me,” he admits. “I met her when I was only a child. The only girl I’d ever seen before her was my own mother. So, of course, I felt drawn to her.” Her jaw tightens and her lips fall together in a firm, thin line. Anakin’s brows knit closer together and there’s a flicker in his eyes that she swears looks like the predecessor to tears.
She doesn’t quite want to believe it. He could not cry.
“And I spent a decade pining, a decade praying that I’d one day see her again, a decade hoping she’d been counting down the days until she saw me again, just like I was.”
She doesn’t believe what she’s hearing. It’s a reflection of her own story, her own foolish pining, her own foolish praying but not hers, but Anakin’s. Her heart stutters in her chest and she forgets to breathe, having to gasp to gather air back into her lungs.
She’s never once felt like she could be understood. She’s never once felt like anyone else could experience the inner turmoil she has, the seemingly fruitless yearning she has.
But she’s realizing now that that's not true. Not anymore, at least. Everything is changing right before her eyes.
“And then I did,” Anakin shakes his head, a humorless laugh leaving his lips. “And I felt nothing. But I tried. I tried to convince myself I loved her. But I just… didn’t.”
Her brow furrows and Anakin’s gaze darkens as it finds hers.
“I spent a decade obsessing over someone I didn’t really know, and how could I? I was a child.” His eyes search hers, searching for something unbeknownst to her. But she lets him. “I didn’t know what love was. All I knew was infatuation. I didn’t know what it meant to truly feel seen, to truly feel drawn to someone.”
Anakin pauses and she gets the feeling that whatever he says next will be calamitous.
“Until I saw you again, that day outside the palace.”
Her lips tremble and her breath shudders, an icy chill frosting over her skin. To think he’s thought about her everyday since their eyes briefly met in the midst of a crowded courtyard was hard to believe yet, when she looks at Anakin Skywalker now, she sees the softening of his brow, the quiver in his lips, the honesty in his eyes.
She’s only ever imagined one look in his eyes. Desire.
But she looks at him now and finds an entire galaxy— there’s longing, there’s earnest, there’s optimism, there’s burning. As it turns out, living creatures are not black and white like she initially thought them to be. Anakin Skywalker is a complex creature, made of flesh and blood and of an intricacy she’d never stopped to consider before.
He’s even better than she’s imagined he’d be.
Every moment spent under the stars, praying that she’d one day have a place among them, that she one day would sit among them with purpose rather than in an ellipsis suddenly begins to feel like it wasn’t all for nothing after all. Every prayer she’s whispered into the night breeze with Anakin Skywalker’s name in it suddenly feels like they begin to matter, like they begin to come true.
Still, she is wary, and Anakin seems to recognize this caution.
He takes a step closer and he steals the breath from her chest, just like he had the first moment she saw him. Her fingers twitch, itching to find his, her palms tingling with the desire to feel his skin, her lips buzzing with yearning. She does not touch him, she does not kiss him, she does not do anything. She simply waits for the rest of his story to unfold and her brain aches with the hope that it will unravel into hers.
“I saw you that day at the palace to find you were already looking at me. That you were already seeing me,” he mutters, a little breathlessly. “It may have been for… for only a moment but when you looked at me, I felt…” he trails off, a furrow in his brow as he searches for the correct word. “…I felt… like something shifted.”
She watches as he rolls his lips together, watches as the moonlight catches how they glisten with spittle. Her breath catches a little bit, her gaze lingering there, her desire to lap it all up flaring.
“It felt like there was a string there between us I’d never noticed before,” he continues. “There was a connection I’d never realized until the moment our eyes met. I felt you, and I felt you see me. There hasn’t been a day that’s passed by since where I didn’t feel you, where I didn’t feel like we were connected, like we were two stars written in the same constellation.”
Her chest rises and falls to the erratic beating of her heart as Anakin draws nearer, the hand with his glove meeting her cheek with a tenderness she’d felt from no one before. She’d never realized how starved of touch she’s been until now and it feels so invigorating. Her stare drops to his lips and she feels that string Anakin must’ve been talking about, feels it drawing her closer into his mouth.
“Padmé does not love me back, and I do not care,” he says in just above a whisper, his voice rising and falling in a way that jellifies her knees, that makes liquid of her insides. “Because I am burning– foolishly, maybe, yes– for you.”
She inhales sharply and it truly feels like all her prayers are finally being answered, like she’s being inducted into her rightful place in the sea of stars. And in her constellation, Anakin Skywalker resides too.
She reaches up with a hand to hold the crook of his elbow that’s strung between them as he brings his other, ungloved hand to rest on her other cheek. She feels his skin on her cheek as the pad of his thumb soothes over the warmth of her flesh and her body quakes with shivers that roll down her spine all the way to her toes. He begins to lean in, his breath hot where it fans against her skin but she tilts backwards, just enough for him to halt, a quirk in one of his brows.
“I will not let you settle for me, Anakin Skywalker,” she whispers, admitting that insecurity still lingers, despite his words. Anakin’s eyes narrow as he uses his hands on either sides of her face to draw her in, his lips but a mere whisper away from hers when he murmurs, “settle? This is not settling. This is binding.”
Then, his lips are on hers in an electrifying bind that shatters her spine with cracks of lightning and she falls into him, her hands on either of his forearms to keep herself steady.
Anakin kisses her with an ardor she could never even dream up in all of her wildest of fantasies. He kisses her and she feels like she finally fits in her dress, as it is the color of fire and she’s engulfed in flames. He kisses her and he is the flame that lights her candle, the flame that melts her from the center, that makes heat course through her that washes all the way down to her toes. He kisses her and she is melting, right into him.
His tongue pirouettes over hers and she hums into his mouth, feeling his fingers thread through her hair. Her heart is pounding and her lips are buzzing but all she feels is Anakin, she feels the muscles in his arms, the warmth that radiates off his body and spills into her. She feels the push and pull of the passion, the yearning he’s kept inside all this time. She feels her own longing and fervor pour into him and they are floating, two clouds that collide into one another to become one.
Anakin steps forward and steps backwards until she hits a wall. When they pull away for breath, she realizes he’s backed her into one of the pillars, a vine caught in the hair on the back of her head. Their chests heave with the weight of their breaths and she watches as Anakin’s hand, not the gloved one, but the one with skin rises, following it as it reaches for her neck. She shudders when he touches her collarbone, exposed from the side of the fiery satin of her dress. His fingertips sear her skin as it drags to the neck of her dress, following the satin where it wraps around her throat, all the way to the back of her neck where the lace falls.
Her breath catches when his fingers find the small strings keeping her dress together. Her gaze finds his again to find he’s already staring, a narrow, earnest look upon his face that darkens his eyes and hardens his features. There is a silent question that hangs in the air between them: “do you want to stop?”
Maybe they’re moving too fast. Maybe this is crazy, maybe they’re simply caught up in the moment, high off the feeling of burning for someone who burns for them too. But after years of pining, of waiting, of praying, it only feels right.
But still, she asks, “what if someone sees? Someone like Obi-Wan who can get you in trouble?”
Anakin shakes his head, “they won’t. Now, I don’t want to talk about Obi-Wan. Do you want to stop?”
The shake of her head is all Anakin needs to see before he unlaces the strings holding her dress together, the satin falling like a spark blazing down the frayed edges of a rope until it pools at her elbows. Her breasts spill from the dress and the night’s ghostly whisper chills her skin, peaking her nipples.
Anakin’s eyes devour and she is prey.
His stare pierces through her skin to the marrow of her bones that catch a chill and she quakes. He meets her eyes again as his hands drift lower, dipping until they finally find her chest. A sharp gasp escapes when his palms cup either of her breasts and she arches into his touch, already aching for more.
“Anakin!” She gasps in a breathy exclaim when he dips his chin to press a kiss over the top of one of her breasts, heat blossoming in his lips’ wake. His eyes catch her again, a little warily. “Is this okay?” He asks, his voice low and gravely, scratching the itch in her brain she didn’t even know she had. It makes her knees feel weak and if it hadn’t been for his body pressed up against hers, she would’ve crumpled straight to the ground.
“Yes,” she breathes, chest heaving into his palms. “I’m sorry, I’ve just… never…”
Anakin’s lips curve and she can see a flash of white peek between them. He shakes his head. “Me neither,” he admits with a breathy laugh and she titters too, grateful for the fact that she’s not the only one who’s a little green.
“Can I keep going?” He questions and his voice is liquid desire, melting straight down to her core. She swallows the lump that’s formed in her throat, nodding. “Please,” she adds, feeling her heart beat straight into his palm.
Anakin’s head dips again and she watches, cheeks warm as he places an open-mouthed kiss just above her nipple. His palm kneads the other breast as his lips venture just an inch lower, finding the peaked bud that awaits, suckling it into his mouth.
It’s like electricity flooding through her veins.
She throws her head back, lips falling agape as her eyelids snap closed, soaking in the pleasure of Anakin’s lips on her nipple. He cautiously flicks his tongue against the bud, watching through his lids as a moan falls from her lips, encouraging him to do it again. He flattens his tongue against her nipple and licks a long, fat stripe from the underside of it up, feeling her tremble in his arms. He lets go of her breast with a wet pop, trailing kisses through the valley between them to make his way to the other.
Touching him, feeling him, kissing him is somehow even better than she’d ever imagined, even after all those years of dreaming for moments like this. She can’t believe she’s gone so long without feeling him like this, she doesn’t think she can ever stop touching him.
Anakin suckles on her breast, flicking his tongue against her nipple as his hand not wrapped in a glove ventures down her body, past her waist, down her hip. He pulls the satin material of her dress up until his arm can sneak his way beneath it and she shivers when his fingers find her center over her underwear. Her nails dig into his sleeves above his shoulders, holding her breath as he finds the wet spot in her underwear, gently pressing against it.
Her hands tighten on his shoulders and ceases all movement, peering up at her. “You’re wet,” he says rather matter-of-factly because of course she is, how could she not be? She nods down at him, swallowing thick layers of saliva down her throat. “Can I touch you here?” He asks and his voice drops to that silky, velvety tone that makes her core ache. She presses her lips together to stifle her groan, head vigorously nodding up and down.
“Gods yes, Anakin,” she moans, slowly rocking her hips against his finger. “Please.”
She feels filthy in a way for asking, for needing friction so desperately. She’s only ever taken her own fingers when she’s too lost in pleasure at night to sleep, never been touched by anyone else but it’s all she craves now, for Anakin’s fingers to touch her, for him— whatever part it may be— to be inside her.
A flame had been ignited in the pit of her belly long ago, back when Anakin first stepped through the door the day they met. It’s sat stagnant for too long, waiting for its moment to further bloom and now it has. It blossomed when her eyes met Anakin’s that day in the courtyard but it’s now in full bloom, now that they burn together, now that his kisses have seared her skin, now that his fingers are pulling her underwear down her thighs, just enough that he can reach her center.
When his fingertips brush her clit, she bursts.
Anakin’s arm wraps around her waist as she practically collapses into him, his middle finger drawing circles against her clit, his breath hot as his lips rest on her brow.
“Is this good?” He asks against her forehead. “Do you feel good?” He questions again as he adds his forefinger to the mix, applying just a little more pressure and it makes her eyes roll.
“Yes, just… just don’t stop,” she exhales, feeling her stomach twist itself into a knot, his fingers against her clit threatening to pull it undone any moment.
So he doesn’t.
He’s unrelenting in the way his fingers press to the aching bud in her center, tracing tight circles until her eyes squeeze closed so hard, milky-ways shimmer behind her lids. He dares venture lower, gathering her slick on the pads of his fingers as he teases near her entrance. It’s a foreign and strange feeling, it’s a pattern she’s traced many times with her own fingers but never been touched by someone else. Even in spite of how many nights she spent trekking that path wishing it was Anakin’s fingers instead, but it’s still strange feeling him there now.
She clutches his arm tighter and he slows, beginning to retract his hand. She stops him, lifting her head until their eyes meet again.
“No,” she pants, shaking her head. “Don’t stop, just… just take it slow.”
He nods, his finger a little unsure as it circles her entrance, unintentionally teasing until she begins to crack. She’s panting, trying to wiggle her hips so that she can draw his fingers in, seeking that feeling of being full. Anakin dips his forefinger into her hole and she tosses her head back, her lips parting for an “oh” to emit.
He watches her face, even if she can’t see it, she can feel his gaze behind her closed lids. He is testing the waters, learning what makes her moan, what makes her squirm, what makes her come. Slowly, he sinks his finger further in and she feels every single millimeter that drags along her walls until he’s knuckle deep. Her legs feel like jelly and her knees begin to wobble, nails clinging to his sleeves like they were her lifeline.
Pressure builds in the pit of her belly as Anakin carefully retracts his finger, just to sink it back in again, a slow, cautious rhythm that leaves her mind spinning. His fingers are so much bigger than hers and she already feels so stuffed despite it only being one finger. Somehow, it’s too much and not enough at the same time.
“Ana… Anakin,” she gasps, peeling open her lids to find he’s already looking. His finger slows but picks up its pace again when he realizes she’s not in any pain. “Another.”
His brow dips and his head tilts in confusion, uncertain what she means. She gathers moisture on her lips, trying to speak through the pleasure-driven haze in her mind.
“Another finger. Please.”
Their eyes lock and there’s a flicker in his, a hint of doubt.
“Are you su—“
“Please.”
So, Anakin gathers her lips with his and she mewls into his mouth when he presses his middle against his pointer, sinking them into her cunt until they reach as far as they can. She’s trembling against him but he keeps her upright, with his arm and with his lips.
Just one of Anakin’s fingers had made her feel stuffed but two of his fingers made her feel full to the brim. Her walls clench around his fingers and she gasps his name like the beginning of a prayer, pleading for more.
It’s a twist on the prayers she recites to the Maker every night. It’s rewriting her every broken hymn, transforming it into something entirely new. She moans Anakin’s name and his fingers turn it into a song so that she cries like a dove into the night. The Maker may have left her feeling broken, wasted, unimportant but Anakin has found her, patched her up, polished her until she’s brand new.
The tangle in her belly begins to rupture, slowly unraveling and so she pushes his arm away, his fingers sliding out of her cunt, her walls pulsing with the loss. They both pant and Anakin’s face hardens in question as his chest heaves.
“What is it?” He asks, searching her face.
She gathers air deep in her chest. “I want…” She trails off, her embarrassment washing over her cheeks in blood. Her gaze drops and Anakin tilts his head to find it again, their eyes locked. He says nothing, only the nod of his head encourages her to continue. “…I want more. I want… I want you to…”
She purses her lips in frustration. For heaven’s sake, she’s talking to the man who just had his fingers inside of her mere moments ago. Why does she feel embarrassed now?
She takes another deep breath, mustering the courage to tell what she truly wants. “…I want you to feel good too.”
Something shifts in Anakin’s eyes. It could be easily mistaken as a trick of the light but she sees it, she feels it. Anakin is burning just the same as her, his pupils becoming a backdrop behind the fires of desire, and she burns within it.
She watches as Anakin’s hand sinks below the belt around his middle, all the way down to the waistband of his trousers beneath his dark tunic. She watches with her breath lodged at the base of her throat as he pulls down his pants, just enough for his cock to be set free and oh, it is just like her dreams but even better.
Nothing could have ever prepared her for the sight of Anakin Skywalker’s cock. Not even the wildest of her dreams could ever capture the essence of the art of Anakin Skywalker. He is handcrafted by the gods themselves— he is the physical embodiment of masterpiece.
He steps forward and towers over her, his breath like smoke rolling over her face. She peers up at him, her chest heaving with the effort of breathing. His hands find either side of her face and she stops breathing altogether, wondering what he will do next.
Then, “put your arms here,” he whispers, guiding her arms over his shoulder. “And hold on.”
She squeals when he drops his hands to the undersides of her thighs, lifting her off the ground so that her ankles lock behind his back. Her arms tighten around his neck as he presses her back against the pillar, his chest pressed into hers. She can feel his length as it’s squeezed between either of their bodies and her walls clench around nothing, practically sobbing to feel him inside.
For a moment, the world stills around them and it’s like when she sees him in the audience during Padmé’s wedding. The night stirs and blurs until it’s dark watercolor, but Anakin is what she sees in high resolution. It’s the perfect mirage— she and Anakin feel like two stars in the middle of the black abyss above, forming their own little constellation.
And when Anakin finally slides himself inside of her, she feels like her place in the sea of stars has been cemented. She finally feels like she’s where she belongs.
a/n; SO! MY LONGEST IMAGINE YET.... may or may not have gotten a bit carried away (more like a little too wordy...) BUT! i really hope some of you enjoy and i truly appreciate anyone who reads this all the way through. i know 10k words is a lot 😭 also i hope this doesn’t seem too insta-lovey… this idea just came to me in a dream so i wrote what I dreamt lol
💫 if you enjoyed, please consider reblogging or even leaving a reply to let me know! it means the world to me 🫶
TAGLIST
@your-nanas-house
@chaoticevilbakugo
@k1ttenmittonz
#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin skywalker imagine#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker fanfiction#star wars anakin#anakin skywalker#anakin x reader#anakin smut#anakin x you#anakin skywalker x you#star wars#star wars prequels#star wars fanfiction#star wars imagine
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Something something Dooku survives the Clone Wars, the Imperial Era, and even a few years past the OT...
And Luke finds him while looking for More Jedi to help him teach.
Chewie recognizes the decrepit old bastard, and there is yelling, but being A Hundred And Nine has mellowed Dooku out in his own dusty hermit hut, on the other side of the galaxy from Ben and Yoda's hermit huts.
All the Jedi ghosts are unhappy with this but Dooku is… not REFORMED, technically, but he's old and tired, even if the Force keeps him a bit more healthy and energized than the average Old Guy, and humans routinely live to pretty unreal old ages in the gffa anyway so really 109 for them is probably like 85 for us.
But yeah. Old mountain hermit (to contrast the desert and the swamp) who's been in hiding from That Dick Sidious since he lost both hands to babyface Vader in 19BBY.
@jebiknights (Sammie) said:
Dooku finds out Luke was also trained by Yoda and is like "oh Yoda finally gave me a younger brother like I always wanted"
Alternately he could probably get Luke to call him Great-Great-Grandfather.
Sammie: Funniest option is he's both which makes Luke even more confused lmao Ghost Obi wan in the background like "stop fucking using non Jedi terms to describe Jedi relationships it doesn't fucking work"
Luke calls him, irreverently, Gramps, but also. Leia definitely recognizes him as a Recent Historic Political Figure, but not until AFTER Luke has already integrated Dooku into his new Jedi school.
"Why did Chewie let him do that?" He thought it was funny. (And/or if you like Chewku, you can make this some sordid exes thing.)
"Why did R2 let him do that?" Best keep evil man in electrical prodding range.
Sammie: Leia comes to the school for her biweekly Jedi lessons and sees the newest teacher was a traitor to the Republic 😭
Best if they can find Quin or Ventress out in the black. Partly because like. Does this make Ventress their step-grandma (Quinlan's on-off something) or their great-great-aunt (Dooku's 4th apprentice)?
Sammie: Both and also Luke's niece. Luke has a migraine by the end of it and Leia is ready to disown herself. Ventress: I didn't realize the Jedi were so incestuous Luke: war flashbacks to before he realized Leia was his sister
Ahsoka in the corner with Spacebucks, five years late "Y'all suck. Hey, Quin."
Sammie: I know you likely didn't bring up Quinlan thinking of QuinObi but now I'm imagining Quinlan declaring himself their grandpa when he meets the twins bc 1) he loves to cause chaos 2) he does/did consider Anakin his kid even if not in neat non Jedi terms and 3) Obi-Wan thought being considered Anakin's father made him sound old, and Quinlan needs to harass him beyond the grave
Dooku must have a cane that the ghosts heckle him about because He Clearly Wants To Be Just Like Yoda.
@lyntergalactic (Lyn) said:
I feel like evil gramps could really bring out Ahsoka's snark once she shows up and that would be highly entertaining Ahsoka is simultaneously his most and least favorite grandchild
She's the most experienced as a Jedi (Ventress went full Sith, not just leaving the Order but following the tenets like Ahsoka, and Quinlan isn't in the lineage), has never Fallen unless you count that thing on Mortis.
Also she WILL bitch Dooku out at this age, and honestly he kind of appreciates the brutal honesty.
Ahsoka: I'm not a Jedi. All the old people: Lies
She brings up the Hondo incident since nobody else is putting in the effort. Anakin and Obi-Wan COULD as ghosts but nooooooo she has to do everything around here.
Sammie: Oh but it sets them off so hard they can barely get the story off from laughing NGL I think the twins did not understand how truly annoying Obi-Wan and Anakin could be together until the Hondo story gets told.
They are The Worst.
#star wars#count dooku#luke skywalker#leia organa#asajj ventress#quinlan vos#quinobi#incest mention#(the canon incident)#quintress#obi wan kenobi#master yoda#anakin skywalker#force ghosts#phoenix posts
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Smoke Me Out
Kinktober Day 3- Corruption Kink
warnings: female!reader, college!au, drug use (weed), slight age gap (everyone 18+), slight dubcon, sex while under the influence, childhood friends, brothers best friend!anakin, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, cum play, tattooed and pierced anakin, 18+ minors dni
masterlist
kinktober masterlist
you are half way through your first semester of college and you've never felt more uncool in you're entire life. you rushed for a sorority and you got into alpha delta pi, and though they have parties every weekend where you get drunk, you still feel like you're missing a key aspect of the college experience.
you want to get high. you've never smoked anything before and you're nervous to ask your sorority sisters or a frat guy to help you through your first time. you didn't know who else to ask to supply good stuff or even who to trust other than anakin.
you've known him forever. he's your brother's best friend and he was always around when you were growing up. you used to have the biggest, most hopeless crush on him when you were younger. now he's a junior at the same college you go to, but it's a state school, everyone from your hometown goes there.
when you finally decide to ask anakin to give you some weed, you text him, telling him you're coming over. no information or anything, just "omw".
you walked the mile or so to the off campus house anakin shares with your brother and a couple other friends. when you walk up, you see the porch light is on, illuminating the figure on the porch.
"your brother's not here," anakin says instead of a greeting.
"i'm not here for him," you say as you skip up the porch steps. anakin sits on a dingy lawn chair and smokes a cigarette, the pungent smell filling the air.
"so what do you want?" he asks, raising a pierced brow at you.
"well..." you start, suddenly feeling embarrassed.
"well?"
"i want some weed."
anakin lets out a chuckle. "you're not serious."
"i am! i wanna do it but i don't want to do it for the first time with a stranger."
a slight smirk forms on anakin's lips but he does not make a comment about your double entendre.
"that's cute."
you frown. "i'm serious, anakin. can't you help me out?"
anakin hums like he's thinking about it. "no."
"what? why not?" you whine. "i can pay, i have money."
"it's not about the fuckin' money," he rolls his eyes. "i'm just not going to let my little sister get high."
"i'm not your little sister," you huff.
"might as well be."
"i'm an adult, anakin! i can make my own decisions."
he picks up his foot and stubs his cigarette out on the heel, then tosses the butt onto the porch. he stands up and now, instead of being blow you in the chair, he has to look down to meet your eyes.
"and i can decide not to give you any."
you cross your arms and look up at him. you know it's a bit childish, but if he's going to treat you like one anyway, what's the harm?
"fine then. i'll just get some frat guy to smoke with me."
that seemed to get a rise out of anakin. "no you fuckin' won't," he says, voice gruff.
"i will. you know i'm in a sorority now. i have frat guys busting down my door. i'm sure i'd have a line waiting if i said i wanted to smoke."
anakin's frustration seems to grow when he sees the smirk on your lips. without another word, he grabs your forearm and yanks you, forcing you to follow him into the house.
"anakin!" you exclaim, but he ignores you.
he practically drags you up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom. you've never been inside it, only having seen it from the doorway of your brother's room by the stairs.
he marches you over to his dresser and you take in the sight of the room. navy blue sheets on an unmade bed, dirty clothes on the floor, a pair of panties you suspect aren't his at the foot of the bed. empty beer cans, some with holes in the sides, litter the top of the dresser. he has a small box of jewlery for his piercings, a poster of his favorite band, and a framed picture of him with you and your brother as kids.
the room is gross, not unexpected for a 22 year old, but it feels like anakin. evidence of his vices everywhere, but touches of personality shine through.
"you want me to smoke you out, huh?" he opens the top right drawer of his dresser and takes out a pre-roll and a lighter. "here you go."
you take it from him, but you don't feel as excited as you thought. anakin's attitude is kind of killing your vibe.
"are you mad at me?" you ask.
"mad? no," he says, looking at you with crossed arms. "just a little annoyed that you came here beggin' for weed and got all bratty and started running your mouth when i said no."
"i did not get bratty!" you whine, sounding very bratty.
anakin rolls his eyes. he turns and walks towards the window, pushing it open and sitting down next to it. you follow and sit across from him, the blunt and lighter in each hand.
"what do i do?" you ask.
"christ, haven't you ever seen a movie before? you put this end in your mouth," he points to the filter end. "and you light this end."
you do as he instructs, and attempt to take a drag. you end up inhaling too deep and you start to cough, eyes watering. anakin doesn't laugh at you, but he does give you a satisfied little smirk.
you take another hit and this time it goes better, you only cough a little bit. anakin reaches over and grabs the blunt from your hand and you frown.
"you're not smokin' this whole thing yourself."
anakin puts it in his mouth, right were a ring of your lip gloss is, and took a drag just like he taught you, but his was perfect. he didn't cough or choke, and the cloud he exhaled swirled out the window.
he gives it back to you and watches as you take another clumsy drag. when you hand it to him again, he takes a long drag but doesn't pass it back.
"hey," you whine.
"that's enough for your first time," he says.
"that was barely anything, anakin."
"it hasn't hit you yet. you wanted me to take care of you, right?"
you huff. "yeah."
"so shut up."
you roll your eyes but decide not to argue further. you and anakin sit next to the window, letting the slight cool breeze blow in on you. you feel yourself become more fuzzy as time passes. you're not very high, but it just enough to satisfy your curiosity.
"how do you feel?" anakin asks after some time of silence.
"good. fuzzy."
"that's good. means you're not too far gone." anakin takes a pause before continuing. "i can't believe you were gonna let a fucking frat guy smoke you out. do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"
your eyes flick back up to meet his; you hadn't realized you were staring at his lips. "some of them are nice."
"nice," he scoffs. "they're only nice because they want to fuck."
"that's not true," you huff.
anakin takes a hit and when he speaks, smoke pours from his lips.
"jesus, you're so naïve. frat guys like dumb inexperienced sorority girls."
"are you calling me dumb?"
"yeah i am. you need to stay away from those guys."
"well it's a little too late for that," you bite.
anakin's brows furrow and his lip curls in disgust. "you didn't sleep with one of them, did you?"
"not just one."
anakin sighs loudly and shakes his head. "what the hell were you thinking?"
"i was at a party and we just had fun. don't act like you've never had casual sex before." anakin stubs out the blunt on the window sill and leaves it there to smolder. he gets up from the floor and walks around the room aimlessly. "why are you being so dramatic? are you jealous or something?"
anakin's eyes snap over to yours. "no, i'm not fuckin' jealous. no one's fuckin' allowed to touch you."
"why do you get to decide that?" you shout, feeling your blood boil with anger.
"because you're mine!" he yells back, running his hands through his hair in frustration. "i protect you, i keep you fucking safe from assholes like the ones you're just falling into bed with."
"i’m not a child, i don't need you to protect me!"
"i obviously haven't done a very good job. why would you even want a frat guy, they don’t know how to fuck.”
“and you do?”
you’re not sure why you said it. it’s irrelevant to the argument but for some reason it just slipped out. you can’t say you’ve never thought about how anakin would fuck before. you’ve spent many nights up late thinking about your older brother’s best friend.
“yeah i do,” he says, voice low. “i could show you what good sex is. it’s nothin’ like you had with those guys.”
your breath catches in your throat at the unexpected development. is anakin offering to fuck you?
“i thought you said i was like your little sister,” you say, suddenly timid.
“that's what you're hung up on?” he asks as he crosses the room in a few short strides. standing right in front of you, anakin towers over you. you have to crane your neck to look up at him, meeting his light eyes. "let me do my job and teach you something, huh?"
you shyly nod, none of the anger from moments ago fueling your actions any longer. desire burns in anakin's eyes, and although its odd that he is looking at you in such a way after being nothing more than platonic your whole life, it doesn't feel wrong.
"you want me to kiss you?" anakin asks. again, you nod.
he leans his head down and presses his lips to yours. it's not very tender, but you didn't expect it to be. his lips are slightly chapped and the kiss is rough. he's claiming you. anakin's hands grip onto your wrists and he pins them to your sides as he continues to explore your mouth.
when he pulls away, his lips glisten with spit and he's smirking down at you. he walks you over the bed and grabs the hem of your shirt. without saying anything, you raise your arms above your head and he takes it off, leaving you in your bra. anakin looks at your chest shamelessly, eyes drinking in the sight of you.
"anakin," you say, embarassed.
"what? you wanted me to fuck you and now you're getting all shy when i look at your tits?" he palms your breasts through your bra, watching them bounce. "how're you gonna react when i see your pussy?"
"don't say that," you whine.
"say what, pussy?" you nod. "aw, is that too dirty for you, sweetheart?"
he grins as he takes off his own shirt and tosses it to the floor. you ogle at his bare torso, acting like it's your first time seeing it. he has gotten more tattoos since the last time you saw him shirtless, and his left nipple has a silver bar through it.
without waiting for you to catch up, anakin undoes the buckle on his jeans and pushes them down to his ankles, kicking them off before removing his socks. now he's left only in a pair of loose plaid boxers that rest low on his hips, showing off the star tattoos on his hip bones. he then motions to you to do the same.
you kick off your shoes and socks, then more timidly, you take off your pants. you're left standing in your childhood crush's bedroom in your underwear.
"come on, take off your panties," he says, grinning. "let me see that pussy." you pout in response. he steps closer to you, putting his large, warm hands on your hips. "do you want me to do it for you?" you bite your lip and nod slightly.
he holds onto the waistband of your panties and pulls them down as he sinks to his knees. he lets the delicate fabric fall to the floor and he looks hungrily at the newly exposed area. he leans his face in and presses his nose to the joint of your leg and groin, taking a deep inhale of your scent.
"anakin!" you squeal, grabbing his hair and pushing his head away.
"what's wrong?" he asks, sitting back on his heels.
"don't be mean to me."
"i'm being mean? imagine how those frat guys would treat you. actually, don't."
anakin pushes you back on the bed and he crawls between your open legs, resting his cheek on your thigh as he stares at your pussy.
"what a pretty cunt," he smirks.
teasingly, he traces his finger over your slit, gathering your wetness. he circles your clit to gauge your reaction, delighted when you squirm.
"i bet most guys can't even find this. the most action it's probably seen is from you playin' with it yourself," he says, eyes flicking up to yours. "is that true?"
you squeeze your eyes shut and nod, evoking a laugh from anakin.
"this poor, neglected little pussy," he coos. "what do you think about when you touch yourself?"
"i-i'm not telling you that," you say, voice breathy.
anakin tuts as he pushes his long, slender middle finger into you.
"i bet it's not any of the guys who can't make you cum. is it a celebrity? what's the name of the actor you used to be obsessed with? i was so jealous if him."
"you, anakin," you whimper.
"what was that?"
"i think about you."
anakin grins and slides another finger into your pussy, curling them up to rub at that spot deep inside you.
"that's a good thing, then, because you're all i think about too."
"please fuck me, anakin," you beg, your voice sounding unfamiliar to your own ears.
"already? but you've only taken two fingers. are you sure you're gonna be able to handle my cock?"
as desperate as you are, you're growing tired of anakin's coddling.
"i'm sure i've taken bigger. just fuck me."
anakin raises his eyebrows and blinks at you a couple times, clearly offended. he gets up from his knees and pulls down his boxers, letting his long, hard cock slap against his abdomen.
"alright then, since you want to be such a big girl, i'll give it to you."
he grabs your lower leg and hoists it over his shoulder as he lines his head up with your entrance.
"wait," you stop him. "are you clean?"
he gives you an unimpressed look. "yeah, i'm clean. are you?"
"yes," you nod.
"i'm not gonna knock you up, am i?"
"if it happens, it happens." anakin freezes. "i'm joking, you asshole. i'm on the pill."
he rolls his eyes and presses his tip into you. you whimper at the stretch but you give him the okay to keep going, so he continues. he feeds his cock into you and it feels never-ending.
"is it too big for you yet?" he asks smugly.
"shut up," you breathe.
after going slow to start, anakin seems to get tired of waiting. he pushes in until he's fully seated inside you, filling you up more than you ever have been. he then starts to rock his hips, driving his head deeper.
"fuck," he groans. "never imagined this pussy'd feel so good."
you reach down to rub your clit as he fucks you, feeling yourself becoming closer as he continues to stimulate your g-spot with his cock.
sex with your previous partners truthfully had not bern very satisfying. but with anakin, you find yourself hurtling towards the edge faster than you get with your favorite toy. maybe its from years of pent up attraction to him finally spilling over. maybe he’s just that good at sex.
“just like that,” you say breathlessly.
anakin is looking down at you with half-lidded, lust filled eyes. his mouth hangs open as he thrusts into you, really putting his back into it to fuck you hard like you deserve.
“little cunt’s squeezin’ my cock. guess she likes me, huh?” he asks with a smirk. you bring your arm up to cover your embarrassment from his babbling. “don’t be such a prude, i know you like what i’m sayin’. you’re soaking me. it’s dripping all the way down my balls, baby. you made such a mess of me with that slutty cunt.”
you let out an unintelligible whine and anakin laughs. your fingers speed up on your clit as anakin fucks you harder, keeping up with the intensity of the stimulation.
“i’m gonna cum,” you say quietly, like you’re confessing a shameful sin.
“yeah?” he asks. “cum all over my dick, baby. ‘m all yours.”
after a few more thrusts, the tension in your stomach releases and your orgasm washes over you. anakin continued to fuck you through it, dragging it out longer than just a few seconds.
when you finally let yourself relax, the stimulation becomes too much and you whine at anakin, telling him to stop.
“your little cunt not used to it being that good?” he asks as he pulls out.
his cock stands against his abs, slightly curved and glistening with your cum. he strokes himself as he looks at your body, deciding how he wants to cum.
“get on your knees,” he says.
“i don’t wanna blow you,” you saw, furrowing your brows at the thought of your juices in your mouth.
“i wanna cum on your tits. get on your knees.”
you stand from the bed on wobbly knees and kneel on the ground in front of anakin. he positions his dick in front of your face, but too far to taste it. he jerks himself off, using your cum as lube to make the glide smoother.
“look up at me,” he demands. you do so, looking up at his face with wide eyes instead of at his cock. “those pretty eyes,” he mumbles.
you watch his abs clench and flex as he nears his orgasm. it’s almost mesmerizing to see the physical reaction he has to you.
“want you to cum on me, anakin,” you say.
maybe you’re playing it up a bit for his sake, but it seems to work, because suddenly he’s moaning and hot spurts of cum paint your skin. he continues to jerk himself off until he’s finished, and as he catches his breath, he admires his artwork.
“fuck, baby,” he sighs.
anakin drops to his knees in front of you and drags his fingertips through the mess on your tits.
“that wasn’t your pay of getting payment for the weed, was it?” you ask, giggling.
“fuck no,” he pants. “nah, i did that cause i wanted to. and now i’m never gonna let you look at another frat guy again.”
#anakin#anakin x reader#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker x reader#star wars#anakin skywalker smut#anakin smut#anakin skywalker fanfic#anakin skywalker fanfiction#anakin fanfiction#anakin fanfic#anakin skywalker x you#kinktober#kinktober 2023
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#I'm sorry it's so funny to me when ppl take a joke about a character very very seriously#and feel compelled to write a post about ppl doing it wrong 🤣#he will always be an eldest daughter (to me)#he is#also not a man (to me)#let men be masculine kinda posts in this fandom always lol @vaderborn
Well you felt compelled to reblog my rant post to tell me I was doing it wrong, yknow. (Btw, a post prompted by one my posts about Obi-Wan and children getting tagged several times separately about how Obi-Wan is sooo 'mother-coded' and 'eldest-daughter coded'....... for liking children??) Also this is the exact opposite of a 'let men be masculine' post lmao, this is a 'stop saying that a man exhibiting any kind of gentleness or caretaking tendencies makes him no longer a man' post. The ✨exact opposite✨ And it's about how women have their experiences erased.
I understand why you might have gotten confused though, not everybody knows misogyny is a thing and gets bothered by it. Lol.
"eldest daughter coded obi-wan" he's a man you clowns
#saying a man being nice to kids is him being 'coded' as not being a man just reinforces sexist attitudes idk how to put it more clearly#also#this wasn't strictly speaking an Obi-Wan post#(he just happened to be the character people were saying this about - could have been anybody else)#this was an 'eldest daughters' post.#obi-wan is not a firstborn (a meaningless term in the order)#he was not raised with the expectation of helping around the house from age 8#(they have maintenance droids and the younglings aren't the ones doing the laundry or rocking each other to sleep)#and he's not a disappointment to his parents for not being a son because he IS a son and also his parents aren't around#again NONE of the specific reasons why 'eldest daughter' is even a category apply to him#so if you say he is coded as an 'eldest daughter' because he's the eldest of his family with anakin and ahsoka and because he's good w/ kid#you're just saying 'daughter' means good with kids#you're saying 'daughter' means gentle and nice and helpful (regardless of why). CONGRATS! you have done a sexism#if that helps: i am the second oldest child in my family and the only girl. am I fcking 'eldest daughter' coded because I take care of kids#NO#because yeah I was asked to do more of the household chores but I'm still the precious Only Daughter and i wasn't a disappoitment#when i behaved well i was pointed to as an example to the others because there wasn't the unsaid view that this was just my expected role#i take care of the kids more - true. i cook more - true. and it is due to me being raised to do these things more because i'm an older girl#that still doesn't make me the same as my cousin who IS the eldest daughter#guess what she got? yelled at for being lively as a kid. being disciplined WAY more for being rebellious than any of us#having her younger sister propped up as a paragon because her sister is more gentle and helpful and less rebellious#and having to live with the knowledge that she'd have had it easier if she had been born after a son#this isn't about star wars this is about fandom being sexist af and calling it 'breaking gender roles'#you're not breaking shit you're REINFORCING THE GENDER ROLES by ignoring sexism exists and saying man =/= childrearing#and 'daughter'/'mom' = whoever is taking taking care of the kids and being nice to them
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✧ exile (what a ghostly scene)
. *. ⋆ Anakin / Vader x Reader
summary: you were bail organa’s ward, raised on alderaan with your younger sister. in the twilight of the clone war, you and anakin fell in love. when the war died, it dragged you and anakin to early graves with it — leaving only darth vader behind. even after years without you, he still wants you back. and there is nothing he would not do to bring you back to him. . .
tags: angst, tragic romance, suitless vader, no y/n, gn reader, inspired by the 2020 vader comics & vader immortal, past major character death, mourning, vader needs a hug, resurrection
note: my first reader/second person fic — i’m sorry if the tense is bad ajsjwjwjqjq. i’ve had this in my drafts for soooo long and i finally decided to finish it 🫶
word count: 1k
part 1 of 4
The stars have died, fizzling out into oblivion. All that remains is a charcoal heart that once belonged to Anakin Skywalker.
The boy from Tatooine is unreachable now, trapped inside the twisted soul of Darth Vader. The galaxy’s beloved Hero With No Fear is gone. With the rise of the Empire, the Jedi and their sympathisers will be erased from memory. A clean slate to start a new era.
Three years after the creation of the Empire, Darth Vader stands alone. His tower on Mustafar is isolating; its strategic position is a constant reminder of that day. His injuries still hurt sometimes: phantom itches on his now metal legs; scars from his burns that did not fully heal. The medical droids say he is lucky — the fire could have done more serious damage, and he could have been forced to rely on a suit keeping him alive for the rest of his days. Instead, the ebony coloured mask and suit he wears are to conceal his identity. A precaution so that Anakin Skywalker can fade from people’s tongues and memory, leaving the tyranny of Darth Vader in its place.
The weight of his failures is not the heaviest burden. Darth Vader drowns in his anger and grief. He was not strong enough to kill Obi-Wan Kenobi. He was not strong enough to save you.
(All things die. Even stars burn out.)
You were the stars in his sky, his light in the dark, the silvery moon to his blazing sun. So tender and kind. Perhaps your heart was too good for this world. Perhaps, it was your weakness all along. (How could peace ever love a dragon?)
Since you met, you had been Anakin’s sun. You anchored him; guided him home. You were his destiny. And, without you, the galaxy had turned cold. The fiery world outside, all hot air and lava fields, only stood as a reminder of his failure. He’d lost you. After everything Anakin had tried — surrendering himself to the dark side, betraying the light — he could not save you. Time had not quelled the pain.
Vader wonders if you would still recognise him. His copper hair has grown longer (he remembers how you used to cut it for him after he returned from another mission, and you’d giggle as you braided thin locks together), but his face hides behind an obsidian mask. You always loved the blue of Anakin’s eyes, but now they are blazing amber.
Mornings are the only time Vader allows himself to dwell on the past. It is when he finds himself alone and does not have to hide.
Vader recalls how you arrived on Mustafar like it was yesterday. (You haunt him every waking moment.) He could sense your conflicted emotions as soon as you disembarked your ship. Vader wasted no time approaching you, drawing you into his arms (where you belonged; where you were safe). His lips reconnected with yours, fitting together like puzzle pieces as he kissed you hungrily, his hands settled on your hips to keep you close.
You and Anakin had met after turning nineteen. He and Obi-Wan were called to Alderaan to protect the Queen and Viceroy from an assassination attempt. Being their ward, you had been there the whole time and quickly formed a connection with the young padawan — your relationship had blossomed during the Clone Wars.
He rested his forehead against yours as you spoke. “I heard terrible things. Tell me none of it is true.”
Vader hadn’t replied immediately and instead drew his head back to look at you. He would tell you any sweet lie if he needed to as he fought to quell the anger flaring in his eyes. “What have you been told?”
“Obi-Wan told me—”
Vader’s grasp around you tightened protectively. “Obi-Wan is alive?”
“He said you’d killed Jedi. Killed younglings.”
“You must not believe him, my love. He’s a traitor.”
It wasn’t the answer you sought, and you took a step backwards out of your husband’s grasp. “What have you done?”
“I did this for you. To save you.” He cupped your chin in his flesh hand and whispered your name. “I love you.”
Your eyes trained into his. There was no denial, no remorse in his stature; his only regret was letting Obi-Wan tell you anything.
He repeated his words. “I did this for you.”
From the shadows of your cloak, you drew a blaster. Only a small, weak thing. Vader watched your hands tremble. He did admire your courage. “Fix this,” you demanded. “Please,” you begged.
Anger flickered in Vader’s eyes. He had never seen you unimpressed with him. With an easy glide of his hand, Vader used the Force to knock the blaster out of your grip and pin your arms by your sides
“I am stronger than the Chancellor now,” he explained desperately, drawing you to his side. “I can overthrow him. Then you and I can be together; we can run away — just like you always wanted to.”
(But you didn’t. He lost you. Some might call you a traitor — Vader maintains that you were misguided.)
Three years later, regret still festers inside Vader’s hollow soul. There must have been a way to save you.
He misses you endlessly: craving your touch and the sound of your voice. (There is nothing Vader desires more than to have you back in his arms.)
Part of him wants to forget. To cast his memories of you into an abyss; to put the past behind him. But it is an impossible task. You are too well tangled into his soul. You haunt him. (And you’ll haunt him until his death.)
Today, there is no time to focus on you. A new morning brings meetings and training. You were Anakin’s Achilles Heel — but Darth Vader shows no such weakness. As Vader sits on his throne, reading over mission logs and other updates from the spread of the Empire across the galaxy, he receives a message: he must make his return to Coruscant immediately. (Your memory pulls him under the ocean again until he can no longer breathe.)
#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#star wars#star wars fanfiction#anakin skywalker fanfiction#anakin angst#anakin skywalker angst#anakin skywalker x you#darth vader#darth vader x reader#darth vader angst#darth vader fanfiction
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I have two requests hehe :)
anakin skywalker - incest & rape/non-con
I CANT WAIT FOR KINKTOBER!!!! 🖤🖤
I hope you’re fine with me combining them into one!
TW: DDDNE INCEST AND RAPE!! Don’t like don’t read!! Reader is at least 18.
“C’mon just once. Help your big brother out.” Anakin pouts, giving you big puppy eyes. He’d been gone at college and when he came back, he couldn’t believe how much you, his younger sister, had changed into a woman.
Your nose scrunches up in disgust as he continues to beg you to fuck him, or rather let him fuck you and you shake your head again. “You’re disgusting. There’s no way, Anakin.”
“Seriously? Didn’t you miss me?”
You scoff, “Yeah I missed you but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna fuck you.”
“You’re being a brat.” He mutters.
“What? Because I won’t have sex with you? You need to get off pornhub once in awhile.”
That comment gets under his skin. “Fine. You don’t wanna do it willingly? I’ll just do it anyways.”
Your eyebrows knit together, “Wha-?” Catching you off guard Anakin flips you onto your stomach, pressing you firmly against your bed. Your eyes widen, “Anakin. Anakin don’t. Please. Don’t.” You try to plead with him.
“Shut up. Shoulda just agreed when I asked. Selfish brat.” He spits the words out before he’s yanking your sweatpants and panties down.
This was wrong. So wrong. You squirm and try to fight him off but it’s no use given your position. He lands a sharp slap to your ass cheek, earning a yelp from you.
“Stop. Moving.” He grits.
You hear his belt jangle and you thrash even more. He growls and gathers both wrists in one hand, pinning them down on the small of your back. “You asked for this.” He mutters before he’s forcing himself into you harshly.
You cry out, tears pricking the corners of your eyes, “Stop Anakin! It hurts!”
“It wouldn’t hurt if you had just said yeah.” Your cries don’t deter him, instead he continue to roughly pound into your poor pussy from behind. “God your pussy’s so tight.”
Your brother keeps thrusting into you before he’s fully burying himself inside, cumming deep in you. He slips out, not even bothering to clean you up or readjust your clothes.
“Don’t tell mom or I’ll make it worse.” He instructs you before he’s leaving your room, shutting the door behind him and letting you process everything that just happened.
#tw!incest#tw!rape#anakin imagine#anakin smut#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#anakin skywalker imagine#anakin skywalker smut#rain works ˚₊‧꒰ა 🌧️ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚#kinktober
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"your my brother till the end of times. even after that"
Being anakin skywalker’s younger sister...
Note; this is incredibly long and goes through all the prequels. my requests are open
You’re two years younger than him meaning you both grew up veryyy close.
He would teach you how to build and fix things whenever the shop was quieter. He let you help with building threpio.
“The blue one goes here, see.” Your brother turned his head to grin at you. You nodded at him from over his shoulder. “Soooo the red one goes there?” You questioned pointing to another spot on the torso. Your brother smiled brightly at you and nodded. “Yeah, see not so hard.”
Over time you got better and better until you were almost just as good as your brother at fixing things.
You were 7 when a strange man showed up asking for parts to fix his ship. While your brother seemed intrigued by the girl who was with him, you were very much intrigued by the tall man with the strange accent.
When he told you he was a Jedi you were almost star-struck. Your mother had told you stories about them but to actually meet one was amongst your wildest dreams.
You were even more starstruck when one night he found that not just your brother but you also were force-sensitive. This led to your brother winning yours and his freedoms in the race.
Though this meant you had to leave your mom :(
You still had your brother though.
Your first time in space was something you’d never forget. You spent most of the trip back to Coruscant planted in front of one of the windows.
Halfway through the trip the other Jedi who Qui-Gon had introduced you to as Obi-Wan joined you by the window.
He told you about the order and about Coursant.
“What is it like?” You turned your attention from the window to look at the man beside you. “What is what like?” Obi-Wan asked looking down at you. “Coursant,” You frowned thinking for a moment. “I heard a smuggler say it was like a concrete jungle. I’ve never seen a jungle though.” The Jedi let out a small laugh. “Well there are lots of buildings but I'm not sure about the jungle part.”
You decided you liked him pretty quickly and stuck by his side for the rest of the trip.
(time skip)
After Qui-Gon’s death, both you and your brother were slightly worried about your future with the Jedi. While Obi-wan took on your brother another Jedi stepped forward to take you.
You and Anakin stayed close over your time in the order. You noticed the way your brother's temper could flare at times but put it down to stress.
You were off planet when Anakin told you he was going back to Tatooine to see your mom. You decided to follow him.
Finding out she had remarried was a shock but you were glad that she had gotten out of slavery.
Anakin confided in both you and Padme that he’d killed the Tuskans after finding your mother.
“You killed them?” You stared at your brother, a slight feeling of horror running through you. You could feel his anger through the force, it sent chills through your body. Anakin nodded his face hard as he looked between you and Padme. He’d killed them out of anger yes but fear also. What if they came after you?
You were concerned but due to your mom's death being so raw you kept your mouth shut about what Anakin had done. You didn't wanna risk losing him.
After your mom's death, Anakin seemed to hang around you more, even more so when he was knighted.
Obi-wan noticed your brother’s change in behaviour when it came to you. Anakin would try and take you off solo missions or force himself onto your missions once you were knighted and given your own battalion in the war.
He eventually questioned you but you simply brushed it off as him just being nervous.
“He’s not used to me doing things alone.” You shrugged looking over to the man who was walking beside you. “You're not alone though, you have a battalion with you. Your brother needs to let go of this fear, it's not healthy.”
Because of Anakins behaviour, you started to get put on more missions with him and Obi-Wan. You didn’t mind though.
You were the only person aware of Anakin and Padme’s marriage and as a result her pregnancy. You were ecstatic that you were gonna be an aunt.
You helped with the naming process for the baby(s).
During this time you noticed Anakin was spending more time with the Chancellor, something which raised a few red flags. Padme confided in you about his behaviour change, she’d noticed him becoming more on edge with each passing day.
You tried to talk to him but he just brushed you off claiming it was just the stress from the war.
“You're acting different. You can talk to me you know, im your sister.” You bumped his shoulder smiling slightly. Anakins smile in return was weak. He took a breath. “I keep having these dreams. Dreams where Padme dies in childbirth.” He looked down at you, his eyes desperate. “I can’t let that happen. I can’t lose her.”
After that conversation, you kept a closer eye on him. You could see his stress levels rising with his dream and the council not granting him the rank of Master.
Things seemed to calm down for a small while until things changed. When order 66 was called you’d been in the temple doing reports.
The sounds of blasters pulled you from your data pad. Your eyebrows furrowed as the door to the archives flew open. “Anakin?” Your brother's face was hard as he pulled you from your chair. He said nothing as he led you down the hallway towards his quarters. You watched in horror as blaster fire rang out around you but he refused to stop. Finally reaching his quarters the door flew open. “Stay here. I’ll come back when it’s safe.”
You were slightly scared and very confused as you tried to make sense of what you’d seen. The clones had turned but why?
You also realised very quickly that your brother had locked you in his room:)))
Luckily you had your comn and managed to make contact with Obi-Wan. After awhile he and Yoda deemed it safe enough to go back to the temple.
At this point, he’d seen your brother pledge his allegiance to Palpatine but had no idea how to break the news.
When he did tell you it was as if your whole world crashed down. He locked you in his quarters to keep you away while he killed the Jedi in the temple.
You chose not to go to Mustafar and instead stayed with Bail. He explained to you Padme’s plan to start a rebellion against the chancellor and offered you a space if you wanted. You agreed.
“She was right. This was his plan all along.” Your head rested on your hand as you sniffled slightly. “He was always gonna overthrow the republic.” Bail nodded rubbing a hand on your shoulder. “If the council didn’t see it how were you supposed to.” He let out a sigh pushing the data pad closer. “But we don’t have to sit and watch.”
You freaked when Obi-Wan and Padme came back without Anakin. You gathered what had happened to your brother simply from the look Obi-wan gave you as he carried Padme off the ship.
Having to watch her die without being able to hold her children. You were able to barely keep it together while the droids checked the babies over.
“They were both so excited.” You smiled sadly down at the baby in your arms. Luke grabbed at your thumb making a small noise. “There never gonna get the chance to raise their kids.” Obi-wan let out a sigh reaching over to pull you into a hug. At this, you finally broke down. All the emotions that you’d been hiding broke free as you sobbed.
They decided to give you the final say on where the twins ended up. You knew Bail would take care of Leia and while you wanted to keep Luke you knew it wasn’t practical.
You ended up going with Bail back to Alderaan where you both began building the foundations for the rebellion.
#star wars#star wars headcanons#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker x reader#star wars prequels#anakin skywalker hcs#anakin skywalker headcanons#anakin skywalker imagine#anakin x reader#obi wan kenobi#obi wan and anakin#obi wan kenobi x reader#obi wan kenobi headcanons#padme amidala#star wars imagine#star wars fandom#star wars fanfiction#anakin skywalker x you#anakin skywalker x sister!reader#anakin skywalker x platonic!reader#sw prequels#.mine#.starwars#!platonic reader
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The way she keeps rewatching this holograms he made for her. God, I love how much Anakin cared about Ahsoka, how he made sure she'd be ok once he was gone, and that now after facing her demons she can keep his legacy alive in her heart.
"He was a good master "
Master and apprentice
#crying in star wars#anakin my beloved#anakin skywalker#anakin & ahsoka#ahsoka#ashoka series#star wars#ashoka tano#anakin#force siblings#general skywalker#commander tano#older brother + younger sister#clone wars#star wars rebels#rebels#star wars clone wars
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As I look at the huge door in front of me, I take a few seconds before actually knocking and waiting for the person on the other side to answer.
“Ah, it was about time. I thought you were going to be late,” I hear my sister’s voice in front of me as she opens the door and gives me a quick once-over.
“I left work early today so I’d have time,” I say, following her into the house and closing the door behind me.
“Most of the guests have already arrived; only a few of John’s friends from work are still on their way. Come help me in the kitchen for a second.”
“Is Lily coming?” I ask, picking up a few plates and setting them on a table next to her.
“She said she’d try, but she wasn’t sure. By the way, there’s a friend of John’s I want you to meet,” she says, with a soft laugh, picking up a glass of wine and offering it to me.
I accept the glass and take a long sip of the dry wine, hoping it will help me get through this long dinner.
“Come here,” I hear her voice calling me toward the living room, where most of the guests are gathered, all drinking and chatting animatedly.
Following my sister Emma, I spot her husband, John, across the room with a couple who are laughing and drinking wine.
“Sweetheart, Y/n just arrived,” she says, looking at me. “Harry and Taylor, this is my younger sister, Y/n.”
I shake hands with both of them, greeting them with a simple “hi,” and give John a light hug, who pats me on the back.
When I look to the side, I see a tall man with tousled blond hair, wearing black dress pants and a simple white button-up shirt, holding a glass of wine between his fingers.
The man had clear eyes, eyes that I couldn’t look away from; they looked like the ocean.
“Yes, she works at an art gallery, the one I told you about, Taylor. She was organizing an exhibition for the artist…” I feel my sister give me a gentle tap on the back, pulling my attention back.
Completely mesmerized by the man’s presence beside me, I had lost track of what I was saying or doing.
“Yes, I’m working with him. He’s a great artist, and we have a lot of projects for the future,” I say, smiling and looking at the couple.
I see someone approach my sister, giving her a kiss on the cheek to greet her, then moving toward John.
“Hayden, this is my sister, the one I was telling you about.” I see my sister pointing in my direction at the man with clear eyes beside her.
The man in front of me now looks at me warmly and steps closer, greeting me with a kiss on the cheek.
“Hi, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Hayden.”
“Oh, hey! I guess you already know, but I’m Y/n,” I respond with a polite smile.
He lets out a low laugh, takes a sip from the glass in his hand, and turns, still looking at me.
“Your sister told me you work at an art gallery in New York.”
“Oh, yes. I’ve been working there for a while now. It’s an amazing place, with so many talented artists.”
“I saw your last exhibition while I was working nearby. I must say, your work isn’t easy, but everything looked incredible,” he says, smiling slightly.
“You have no idea! I spend the whole day running from one place to another on exhibition days, but I’m glad you liked it,” I say, smiling sincerely and taking a sip of wine.
I hardly noticed that my sister and her husband had already stepped away, and now I was alone with Hayden, talking.
“Do you also work in the arts? You give me writer vibes,” I say as I observe him.
He laughs heartily after my comment.
“No, actually, I’m an actor. I never thought of being a writer. If I tried, I think I’d be a terrible one.” I give a soft laugh and reply:
“Do I know any of your work? Your face looks familiar; I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere.”
“Maybe. One of my most memorable roles was playing Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars. Perhaps you know me from there.”
“Oh, how did I miss that? I had a classmate in college who was obsessed with Star Wars. Every weekend, she’d watch the movies. I ended up memorizing the characters’ lines after seeing them so many times,” I say, laughing.
“Fans are truly passionate about the saga. I really enjoyed being part of that project; it brings back great memories. It’s a character I hold close to my heart.”
“I can imagine! I can’t say I’m the biggest Star Wars fan since I ended up falling asleep during the first movie, but I find the universe really fascinating.”
“How did you fall asleep?” I hear his laughter.
“I’m a very sleepy person, but I remember the third movie in the saga. I thought you looked like such a heartthrob with those curly locks.”
“Oh, thanks for the compliment! Although, a lot of that hair was extensions; not all of it was mine,” he says, laughing at my words.
As we talked, I noticed how Hayden’s voice sounded soft, almost like a melody that soothed me, even with all the movement around us. He seemed so comfortable talking about his career, especially about how Star Wars changed his life, that I hardly noticed the time passing.
“Life in Hollywood isn’t always as easy as it seems,” he said, turning his gaze to me.
“Sometimes, I feel like I’d trade it all for a simpler life… without all the exposure.” His clear eyes sparkled for a moment, but then he let out a small laugh, as if trying to dispel the seriousness in his tone.
“I can imagine that it must be tough... but it’s a unique life, one that many people dream of having,” I replied, trying to sound understanding. “Sometimes I feel like the gallery already exposes me too much. I couldn’t handle what you go through.” I laughed softly, and he joined in, nodding as if he understood.
Hayden fell silent for a moment and then leaned a little closer, lowering his voice, as if the rest of the party had disappeared around us.
“Maybe you’re the first person I can talk to about this without having to play the ‘movie star.’ It’s nice to just be… Hayden.”
A shiver ran through me. His words were simple, but the way he looked at me made me forget everything around us. The world seemed to shrink, focused on the space between us.
Before I could respond, a voice echoed from across the room. “Hey, Hayden, you’ve got to see this!” John, my brother-in-law, waved enthusiastically at him. Hayden let out a sigh and gave me a smile that carried a hint of regret.
“I should go over there,” he said but hesitated, still looking me in the eyes as if he wanted to say something more.
“Of course,” I replied, trying to hide the slight disappointment in my voice. He took a step back, but before turning, he lightly touched my hand, leaving a warmth that seemed to spread through me.
“It was nice meeting you, Y/n.” His voice sounded almost like a promise.
I simply smiled, certain that this wouldn’t be our last encounter. As he walked away, I looked at the nearly empty glass of wine in my hand and wondered what this brief meeting could mean.
The End
#fanfiction#x reader#hayden christensen#hayden christensen fanfiction#hayden christensen x reader#star wars#star wars fanfiction#hayden christensen dilf
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Maybe yandere master Ahsoka in a au where she never left the Jedi order and she gets a padawon , and she sees reader as family hcs please 🙏 🌙
Sure! I'm a bit rusty with her but I hope this alternate take based on her personality is good :)
Yandere! Platonic! Master! Ahsoka with Padawan! Darling
Pairing: Platonic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Fear of loss, Slight manipulation, Violence, Isolation, Dubious companionship.
Jedi aren't meant to be close to many people...
Companionship, relationships, any sort of close bonds are frowned upon in The Order.
Suppressing such feelings is necessary for a Jedi to serve.
Ahsoka herself has learned how to do such things.
However... That doesn't mean she doesn't feel complex emotions.
The bond between Jedi and Padawan is a close one, but less distracting than most.
Many view their Padawan's like siblings, or a kid they couldn't have.
Such a bond is similar to how Ahsoka feels with you.
She herself had a close bond with her master, Anakin... before he went to the Dark Side.
While she may not agree with The Order all of the time, she's stuck with them for many missions.
Even right up until The Order fell.
Now, as a Jedi Master, it was only natural for Ahsoka to take a student of her own.
Ahsoka has always wanted to protect people.
She defends people and has given everything to the order.
She has the spirit of a Jedi... always caring and ready to solve problems.
Then The Order deemed her worthy to train you... a young Padawan to call her own.
Ahsoka doesn't expect taking care of a Padawan to be easy.
Jedi training is taxing on the mind and body, yet upon going on a few missions, you're proving to be capable.
You remind Ahsoka of how she was when she was younger.
Now she finally understands how Anakin felt when she was acting reckless and impulsive.
It's easy for Padawans to get carried away.
She'd know such a thing as she was once overly ambitious herself.
Yet she can tell you're not only brave... but loyal too.
Ahsoka had you as her Padawan before Order 66 was executed.
She may even still keep you under her wing after Order 66, wanting to keep you safe.
Ahsoka as your master seems like she'd give off either big sister vibes or mom vibes.
Either way she'd be protective of her Padawan, fully away from the dangers that the Galaxy has to offer.
She wants to teach you to follow your heart yet stay cautious.
She's kind to you yet also isn't afraid to scold you for your mistakes.
Ahsoka may actually be a good master for you.
The one issue I'm seeing?
Her fear.
Fear can poison a Jedi and their motives.
In fact, fear... love... and anger can poison a Jedi.
This is the reason Jedi aren't allowed to have personal connections.
Having a family, a relationship, or even children can be distractions.
If a Jedi can not control their emotions, they become vulnerable to the Dark Side.
Ahsoka's issue towards you would be the fear of losing you.
Especially after Order 66 in this AU.
She's lost many close to her, an unfortunate part of being a Jedi.
She's even lost her own master.
So, really, you'd be all she has as a Jedi master.
You're her student... the family she could never have....
Teaching you becomes increasingly hard due to these feelings.
Each time she sees you do something risky, she tries to be optimistic.
Yet she can't help but think of you getting hurt.
She wonders if The Order chose right...
She wonders... if she really is the right teacher for you.
But then you look at her with eager eyes.
It's such a familiar sight.
When she sees you so bright and determined, despite it all, she smiles.
Yes... Yes they must've chosen right.
They put you in her care.
So... She should take care of you the best she can.
No matter what.
I imagine this AU would also take place after Order 66.
During it, Ahsoka kept you close and defended you against every rogue clone she could.
She isn't sure what she'd do without her Padawan.
She definitely sees you as family, treating you protectively and always observing any who come close.
She is moralistic... but as she learned from Anakin...
Sometimes you have to bend the rules to do the right thing.
Killing people often happens as a Jedi, like it or not.
Ahsoka takes no joy in it... yet she'd do anything to protect you.
Speaking of which, after Order 66 she'd take you with her into hiding.
She can't really teach you when in hiding... as using the Force would get you both detected.
Ahsoka, as your master, would give you both a fake name to hide from the growing Empire.
After Order 66, Ahsoka views you even more as family.
Since she can't teach you to be a Jedi, you two really do end up adopting a familial role.
Be that siblings or mother and child... Ahsoka hates to admit it but she's attached.
She knows such a bond may poison her... yet The Order is no more.
You two may be Jedi at heart, yet nothing is stopping you from having personal connections now.
Ahsoka's biggest fear is losing you.
Be that by death or the Dark Side... both are just as bad.
Such thoughts are what make it hard for Ahsoka to let you mature.
At some points she coddles you, especially when you have to pretend to not be Jedi.
She's worried about letting you out into the world.
It's just... too dangerous right now.
One mistake and you could be hunted.
The thought makes Ahsoka worry more than she should.
In fact, it makes her isolate you.
Naturally you believe her subtle manipulation when she asks you to stay.
You trust her, you know she wouldn't let anyone harm you...
So, if pretending to be farmers is what you have to do, you'll do it.
Ahsoka cherishes the trust you hold for her.
Which is why she feels bad when she abuses it.
Ahsoka is mostly just... protective.
She wants a life where she'll always have you, and a quiet one away from the Empire happens to be on her mind.
Although, eventually, you'll want to leave her side.
Padawans naturally have to leave their masters at some point.
They deserve to be independent... and Ahsoka knows that...
But things have changed.
When you tell Ahsoka you wish to leave, to make a life of your own... she hesitates.
N-No... No, you really shouldn't.
She hates to say it, really does... but it isn't safe.
What if you get caught?
What if the Empire executes you after realizing you're a Jedi or... Force sensitive at the very least.
Or... what if they choose to use you as a weapon against her?
Ahsoka would try to convince you into staying with her.
All you need is each other... you've been through so much already...
Why don't you sit back and stay with her?
You can have a quiet life!
She understands you crave action... that you want to join the Rebellion...
She was once a similar way in her youth.
Yet, she may even Jedi mind trick you in an attempt to keep you safe.
Ahsoka keeps telling herself she's just... bending the rules.
What she's doing isn't wrong.
Keeping you in hiding at a farm isn't wrong.
Convincing forcing you to stay isn't wrong, either....
She's protecting you.
Cutting someone who knows your secrets down isn't bad either.
They were a threat to you
Tricking you is... underhanded but...
You need her.
Ahsoka looks after you because you're all she has now.
Many of her friends are gone, her master is gone, The Order is gone...
It's just you and her... alone in a galaxy that wants you dead...
However, Ahsoka will always protect you no matter the cost, you're all she has and she plans to keep you all to herself... under her protection... safe and sound.
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So....ANAKIN WAS A SLAVE?!! Oh My god
This is why he's so messed up, damn.
This explains SO MUCH, please therapy, you don't take a SLAVE kid and give him a gun and teach him to fight, that will end badly 😭😭😭😭
Don't get me wrong si far I already was sure he had some form of trauma, like C-PSTD and probably some emotional regulation issues because....you know, war?
BUT YOU'RE TELLING ME HE WAS A SLAVE , damn...poor thing.
And not only that (I'm talking about TCW) he needs to deal with it all over again, and needs to PRETEND to be an enslaver (and to his younger sister-like figure), and then a slave woman commits suicide in front of his eyes because he stopped her from killing the Queen, and then he's captured again, so are his Master and Padawan, then WOKES UP ON A BED and this creepy Queen won't stop touching and grabbing him like he belongs to her.
Holy molly the levels of trauma and retraumatizing stuff in these episodes are on another whole level, damnm. Please, someone send him to therapy ASAP 😢😢😢
(yeah, those new to my blog, I knew nothing about SW until about a month and i'm slowly going through the series)
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