#an aged man remembers april

[llovelymoonn]

on april

barbara kingsolver demon copperhead \\ sara teasdale a november night \\ fatima aamer bilal i mother it, the absence of her ii. i was hard to bear from the very start (via @ivynightshade) \\ anne carson the glass essay (via @petaltexturedskies) \\ raymond p. fischer an aged man remembers april \\ cyrus cassells \\ anton chekhov love \\ t.s eliot the waste land \\ michelle o'sullivan the flower and the frozen sea: "bespoke"

kofi

[snackugaki]

i need to go crunchier

____

my tmnt au (where everyone made it past their 20s, splinter’s alive just old, venus is here, and they deserve some goddamn respite and shenanigans) 

tmnt au part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

tmnt au omake 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

lny visit 1 | 2

[arolesbianism]

I have obtained a new oc and in the process I've already signed myself up for needing to make at least 3 new ocs for his story which he now has despite me initially Intending for him to be a side character for a different side character to hang out with. My townhouse has over 200 characters on it.

[lestbian]

this day (march 16th) 21 years ago (2003), american activist rachel corrie was crushed to death by an israeli bulldozer while she protested the demolition of palestinian homes in rafah. she was 24. this april, she would have turned 45.

Sandra Jordan wrote in The Observer that because Corrie was American her death attracted more attention than the deaths of Palestinians under similar circumstances: "On the night of Corrie's death, nine Palestinians were killed in the Gaza Strip, among them a four-year-old girl and a man aged 90. A total of 220 people have died in Rafah since the beginning of the intifada. Palestinians know the death of one American receives more attention than the killing of hundreds of Muslims." (Wikipedia)

while we honor corrie's sacrifice, we must remember what she fought for. you can read her emails from rafah about her experiences in palestine at the rachel corrie foundation for peace and justice, organized by her parents cindy and craig who continue her work.

donate to UNRWA donate to Help Gaza Children donate to PCRF buy e-sims for Gazans

ramadan kareem and may we see a free palestine in our lifetimes.

[lancestrollsgf]

# THE BETTER NORRIS ! F1 GRID X ADOPTED NORRIS! READER, SMAU

introduction master list request list

part one, part two, part three.

# WARNINGS : cussing, i know nothing about the parents of lando so everything is fictional. lowercase intended, spelling errors (english isn’t my first language). lando's actual siblings are not really mentioned in this since I don't know anything about them. reader hitchhikes. an excessive usage of emojis such as “🙄, 🤫, 😝, 😭,😊,😉”. reader is 17 in the story btw (the age isn’t really mentioned so i guess you can imagine it however you want)

# SUMMARY: the adventures of the formula one driver lando norris adopted sibling, y/n norris.

# AUTHORS NOTE : this is my first smau (that i’m posting). there’s no meaning behind this story i really just wanted to make it for fun. backstory for how reader (you) were adopted is not explained. reader is kinda of portrayed as bisexual, sorry only like three times. pretend lando is a soccer/football fan (and likes messi). some of these scenarios/comments actually happened to face claim.

# FACE CLAIM : marian guevara/theatomicbabe on instagram (i love her so much)

VOTE FOR FUTURE LOVE INTEREST (now closed)

— instagram !

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 529,289 others

thebetternorris visited jamaica once again, spent every moment with the children and made memorial memories that i will remember forever, thank you @junglenonprofit for making this event happen🤍🇯🇲

landonorris: very cool hair style in the last photo is that your new look?

-> thebetternorris: maybe it is. you should also try finding a new look instead of looking like a washed up mop you have on your head that you call curls

-> carlossainz55: ay no, she got you with that one 🤣

-> landonorris: I WAS LITERALLY BEING NICE. WHY DID YOU COME AFTER ME??

landonorris: since when did you go to jamaica???

-> thebetternorris: since two days ago, man keep up with the times 🙄🙄

maxverstappen1: y/n does your mom know you’re in jamaica??

-> thebetternorris: no.. don’t tell her, she doesn’t have instagram 🤫

-> ciscawauman: y/n norris.. you said you were with friends for this week?

-> thebetternorris: hi mama 😊😊 im with bsf/n. but im on my way home! (max emilian verstappen this is all your fault, im coming after you)

-> maxverstappen1: sorry y/n.. hi mrs.wauman!

-> ciscawauman: hello max 👋 y/n please don’t threaten someone through comments

username1: y/n’s interactions with the drivers will never fail to make me laugh

username2: i love you y/n!!!

username3: will forever appreciate how y/n is not pr trained. her posts and comments heal me

-> mclaren: that will change very soon, sadly.

-> thebetternorris: @.mclaren YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE

lewishamilton: good work, little norris, very proud of you, keep doing good in the world 🥰

-> thebetternorris: I LOVE U SIR LEWIS

-> lewishamilton: love you too

-> landonorris: lewis please ignore her

username4: y/n’s reply to lewis’ comment is so real

username5: the third picture is so cute 🥹

view all 5201 comments

april 21, 2024 (dates are for the post above ^^)

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 661,201 others

thebetternorris 🍸����🌃🍾

landonorris: who is that guy in the last photo?

-> thebetternorris: i have no clue, i js chose it because i looked good. i think he was trynna lure me into a cult?

-> landonorris: WHAT?? CALL ME RIGHT NOW

username4: you can always rely on y/n to never disappoints with her outfits 😫😫

oscarpiastri: how come you never invite me to party out with you?

-> thebetternorris: because you steal all the girls and guys too 😕😕 also you’re too old

-> oscarpiastri: i’m barely 23??? and thank you or sorry idk man, you confuse me

username6: y/n’s life is so entertaining

username7: i wanna be like y/n when i grow up

username8: my goal in life is to party like y/n does

view all 6229 comments

april 25, 2024

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, girl3, and 786,929 others

thebetternorris no caption 🌞 👤: @.girl1 @.girl2 @.girl3 @.guy1

girl3: i had so much fun y/n see you soonnn

-> thebetternorris: me too! see you soon 😊😊

-> landonorris: y/n what is this???? what do you mean see you soon???? ANSWER MY CALLS Y/N

landonorris: who are those girls and guy on the last two photos???

-> charles_leclerc: leave your sister alone, as if you weren’t doing crazy stuff this week either 🤣

-> thebetternorris: @.landonorris they have names you know, you shouldn’t just call them “those girls”. i thought mama taught you better. 🤨🤨

-> landonorris: @thebetternorris sorry..?? but you didn’t answer the question.. also please @charles_leclerc don’t expose my doings of this week onto the internet

username9: you’re the loml in a another universe 😔

-> thebetternorris: why not this universe 😉

-> danielriccardo: damn little norris has more rizz than her brother 😭 @.landonorris

-> landonorris: why do i keep getting attacked 💔

username10: having the caption as “no caption” is having a caption

-> thebetternorris: 🤓🤓

username11: does y/n like girls cause that third photo is a bit suspicious LMAOO

-> username12: i think so, especially because of her response to oscar's comment on her previous post

view all 3620 comments

april 27, 2024

liked by landonorris, newyorkcityfc, and 887,292 others

thebetternorris thank you @.newyorkcityfc for inviting me to document the New York City fc vs charlotte game. visiting the new york city fc game made me want to try out soccer, turns out it might be time that i change career path 😝

landonorris: you’re in new york??? since when. and @.newyorkcityfc just invited you???

-> thebetternorris: since two days ago and is that an insult?

-> landonorris: who are you staying with?

-> thebetternorris: man stop asking so many questions 😕

charles_leclerc: weren’t you in jamaica like less than a week ago?

-> thebetternorris: weren’t you in china less than a week ago? why you judging where im traveling, i don’t judge you. you literally fly somewhere each week for your go karting 🙄

username13: y/n’s post are so unpredictable each time 😭 she was just helping children in jamaica and is now at a soccer game in nyc

-> thebetternorris: gotta keep y’all on your toes 🤫

-> username13: toes 🤤

-> thebetternorris: NAH GTFO LMAOOO

username14: y/n becoming a soccer player when??

username15: all of the norris siblings are so talented

view all 2928 comments

april 29, 2024

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 997,929 others

thebetternorris miami grand prix day 2 & day 3 🤙. found out some guy with the same last name as me won? idk but congrats @.landonorris

username16: dang her brother just won his first race and she doesn’t even make a post about him?

-> username17: for real, like everyone congratulated him right after but not even his own sister

-> username18: @.username17 well she is adopted 🤣

username19: it was so fun meeting you y/n!!!

-> thebetternorris: thank you pretty

username20: thank you for the water y/n 😊😊

-> thebetternorris: of courseee, had to give you that rich voss water 😉😉

-> landonorris: you gave a stranger water?? when?? you were with me the whole time???

-> thebetternorris: hey man you gotta start appreciating the people that support you, he was a worker ✊🏼

username21: hey i was the guy you were signing “way 2 sexy” with lolll

-> thebetternorris: AYY MY MANNN, i posted u on tiktok look at it 😉

jamescharles: omg i met you!! you’re gorgeous 🥰

-> thebetternorris: JAMESS HEYYY, i put you in my tiktok 🤙🤙

username22: omg you hugged me, remember i picked you up 😭

-> thebetternorris: I REMEMBER YOUU, that hug was great thanks man i needed that 🫵🏼 posted a full tiktok abt you

username23: your first outfit is so art teacher-coded

-> thebetternorris: is this a compliment or?? thank you though 😭

-> landonorris: @.username23 THATS WHAT I TOLD HER

landonorris: the number of people commenting that they met you is insane. @thebetternorris

-> thebetternorris: what can i say i'm js that guy 😼

view all 6282 comments

may 5, 2024

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 1,000,010 others

thebetternorris congrats to @.landonorris for winning your first grand prix, in america 🦅🇺🇸, i’m so so proud! turns out having an adopted sister isn't so bad for your racing career after all 😜. btw to everyone in the comments section getting their gears all tangled because I didn't congratulate him sooner, chill out. I was busy practicing my own racing skills. yk, just in case he needs some real competition 😴 sorry @.maxverstappen1. i’m so proud of you, i'm forever grateful that i got picked from the “bin” i was found according to you 18 years ago, and it resulted in me being your sister :) 👤: @.landonorris @.oscarpiastri

landonorris: thank you for the congratulations, but did you really have to use those photos of me?

-> thebetternorris: damn you got your congrats just be grateful man 🙄

oscarpiastri: so this is why lando was crying, btw thank you for using a good photo of me

-> thebetternorris: OSCAR ARE YOU SERIOUS. @.landonorris YOU CRIED?? LMFAOOO

-> landonorris: @.oscarpiastri YOU SNITCH.

maxverstappen1: thank goodness you’re not a f1 driver, you’d be some real competition. we need to try go karting together soon 👍🏼

-> thebetternorris: i know this is a joke but thank u max 😔 we should go karting soon so i can beat you at it 😈

-> username24: i would pay to see y/n kart against max

username25: i don't even know anything about f1 but this made me tear up

username26: y/n getting hate for not congratulating her brother is insane

username27: people getting mad about y/n not congratulating lando as if they know anything about them

username28: y/n was one of the first people to congratulate lando, yall are hating a literal kid for smth so little 💀

view all 4593 comments

may 7, 2024

liked by landonorris, leomessi, 1,102,920 others

thebetternorris pov that one unemployed friend on a tuesday (saturday). thank you @.mles for the invite and for letting me meet the goat @.leomessi 🩷🩷

joyboy: finally found someone that is everywhere like me

-> thebetternorris: paris fashion week next 😉?

-> landonorris: NO???

username29: IS THAT LIONEL MESSI??

-> thebetternorris: that’s literally oomf what are you talking abt 🙄

ueername30: y/n is literally everywhere but home

username31: y/n's smile 🥰🥰

carlossainz55: Real Madrid CF>>>

-> thebetternorris: carlos get outta here 😕😕

username32: te encantaría ser un hombre nunca lo vas a ser y eso es lo que te jode (you’d love to be a man and you’ll never be a man and that fucks with you)

-> thebetternorris: @.username32 me encanta ser mujerrr (i love being a womann)

-> username32: @thebetternorris pues lo disimulas fatal (well you hide it well)

-> thebetternorris: @.username32 que es ser mujer para ti? (what is being a woman to you?)

-> username33: SHE GOT YOU THERE 💀@.username32

landonorris: you meeting messi before me insane 😔

leomessi: gracias por tu apoyo 🩷 que chistoso la caption 🤣 (thank you for your support 🩷 how funny the caption is)

-> landonorris: oh you’re joking.

-> thebetternorris: @.leomessi 🩷🩷 (i’m so normal abt this..)

username33: i wanna be y/n's camera man

username34: who is taking these pictures of y/n

-> thebetternorris: for this game, some guy named jarvis took these photos idk but we're homies now

-> landonorris: WHO IS JARVIS???

view all 12920 comments

june 5, 2024

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 1,293,021 others

thebetternorris i look sunburnt, swear it's just the lights 👤: bustarhymes

bustarhymes: it was nice meeting you little norris

-> thebetternorris: it was great meeting you man, your music is great

danielriccardo: mate i think you need a new cameraman because most of these are blurry...

-> thebetternorris: my pictures look better than yours, you're letting your jealousy show

landonorris: nah bro how did you meet busta rhymes before me.

-> thebetternorris: because i'm better than you

username35: you dead ass look like han jisung omg

-> thebetternorris: thank you, idk who that is but i get that a lot 😭

username34: y/n looks so much like young miko it’s insane

charles_leclerc: you look scary in the first picture

-> thebetternorris: i saw your paparazzi picture from the beach, your shoulders look scarier, learn how to put on sunscreen 😬

username36: y/n’s style is so 🥰

view all 5934 comments

june 30, 2024

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 1,304,393 others

thebetternorris back at the big apple 🍎🏙️

itsyoungmiko: hi twinn

-> thebetternorris: hey twin, we should meet up soon

lancestroll: how do you travel everywhere?

-> thebetternorris: walking and hitchhiking

-> lancestroll: hitchhiking? be safe norris

-> thebetternorris: yea hitchhiking. not all of us have private planes that our daddy pays for🙄(just joking, love u @lawerence_stroll pls give me money)

-> lancestroll: your brother literally flies private. please don't ask my dad for money 😭

lawerence_stroll: hello y/n, how much money do you need?

-> thebetternorris: HI MR.STROLL, thank you for the offer I was just joking, you're so nice. see you at the next gp 😊

username37: who is that on the last photo?

-> thebetternorris: THATS ME. LMFAOOO

username38: ain't no way you're in new york city rn, you were in florida a day ago.

-> thebetternorris: that's what hitchhiking is for, duh

-> username38: you dead ass hitchhiked a ride from florida to new york city. that's like 20 hours...

-> thebetternorris: “that’s like 20 hours…” ☝🏼🤓

username39: are you gonna go to the british gp?

-> thebetternorris: yes sadly 💔 lando is forcing me against my will 😕

oscarpiastri: don’t forget my keychain pls

-> thebetternorris: ofc man ill give it to you soon 🤙

zhouguanyu24: very cool pictures y/n and cool outfit

-> thebetternorris: HI ZHOUUU, i got you something for you and sweet corn 🥰 thank u for the compliment 😙

username40: future mom lore is gonna go insane

-> thebetternorris: 😈

landonorris: y/n are you ever not in the US. come back home..

-> thebetternorris: USA 🇺🇸🦅🦅

-> logansargeant: USA USA 🇺🇸🦅🦅

-> landonorris: @.logansargeant logan please don’t lure my sister into your cult that you americans have

-> logansargeant: @.landonorris we don’t have a cult in america 😭 well… don’t quote me on that 😔

-> username41: “you americans” is crazy 💀

view all 4402 comments

july 1, 2024

comment to be tagged in the next part 🤫🤫

[astrotruther]

Astro Observations

misc. (i)

⛔️ TW: mention of anorexia and drugging❗️

♡ Venus Square Mars may attract obsessive people. In particular, people who obsess over their looks or fetishize them in some way. Brooke Shields had a whole nation obsessed with her at the mere age of 12. Eugenia Cooney has infamously attracted hoards of anorexia fetishists with her content. People with this placement may have a higher risk of drastic weight loss or gain.

♡ Either I meet too many Capricorn Suns by coincidence or it's a rather common placement. One reasoning could be that April is an ideal month for marriage in many places, especially ones where it gets unbearably hot in June. Spring adds to April's allure. Traditional couples often conceive right after tying the knot, making the pregnancy due in Capricorn season.

♡ Lilith is associated with sexuality but people focus too much ONLY on that facet of it. Lilith is associated with many other things like power, revenge and how one becomes a social pariah.

♡ Planets at 0° may symbolize struggle. Lana Del Rey has Sun at 0°. The Sun represents our ego. She had many controversies in 2020 including the mesh mask and her Instagram rant undermining POC artists. Even after criticism, instead of apologizing, she remained defensive. I believe that planets at 0° provide a lot of room for growth if the individual is genuinely interested in self-improvement.

♡ Aries Moon (ruled by Mars) and Scorpio Moon (ruled by Pluto, traditionally by Mars) despite being similar are perceived quite differently by people. The sign of Aries gives child-like quality to the native. They come off as cute and their sarcastic remarks are perceived as good humor. E.g. Rihanna roasting Helena Bonham Carter's sense of fashion. Meanwhile, one eyeroll from a Scorpio Moon, and they may come off as hateful and jealous. My advice to Scorpio Moons who want to be in the public eye, please never put on the mean girl persona. Tap into your kind side, it'll be received in a positive way and you'll attract genuine support.

♡ Venus-Mars aspects symbolize beauty; the difference may lie in how people perceive it. Venus Trine Mars are often called cute. People with this aspect are well-liked and have a good reputation. These are the people who may never be cancelled due to the halo effect they have. No matter how massively popular they are, people won't be digging up dirt on them, which is also why very little is known about these people's personal lives. These people often become a household name due to that one iconic thing they did, even if they decide to adapt a lowkey presence afterwards. Let me emphasize this with an extensive list of examples:

✧ Nina Dobrev (The Vampire Diaries), Zayn, Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl), Adele, Kit Harington (Game of Thrones), Sabrina Carpenter, Tobey Maguire (Spider-Man), Kate Middleton, Mandy Moore (A Walk to Remember), Jackie Chan, Jenna Fischer (The Office), Ana de Armas, Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games), Constance Wu (Crazy Rich Asians), Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) and Alan Rickman (Harry Potter) have this aspect.

✧ Taeyang being the only member of former K-pop group BIGBANG who's had no controversies (also managed to keep his relationship hidden for a long time before revealing it with a wedding announcement), Khloé Kardashian being the least disliked Kardashian/Jenner sister, Cardi B admitting to drugging and robbing men, starring in Hustlers that glamorized it, hitting her career peak with WAP the very next year really drives the point home.

✧ I've also noticed this aspect in almost all Bollywood IT girls of their time: Priyanka Chopra, Aishwarya Rai, Anushka Sharma, Ayesha Takia, Dia Mirza, Divya Bharti, Parveen Babi - all loved by the general public despite the media scrutiny and misogyny that prevails within the industry.

Click daily to help Palestinians🍉🙏🏽: https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/

[southeastasianists]

It was the mid-1980s when Paul Toh came of age as a gay man, decades before smartphones and dating apps made sex a lot more accessible right at your fingertips. Toh has been diagnosed with HIV since 1989. 

Now semi-retired with his own business distributing antiretroviral therapy medication and HIV pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), the 59-year-old said that in those days, cruising in public parks, toilets, and back alleys of dirty shophouses along pre-cleanup Singapore River for sex was par for the course. 

Unsurprisingly, cruising in public made gay men easy targets for police officers. “They started going to these cruising grounds undercover, with the explicit intention of entrapping and arresting gay men,” Toh added.

Police raids in nightlife establishments with gay clientele also became common, with prominent gay discotheque Niche having its liquor license withdrawn by the police in 1989 and the Rascals incident of 30 May 1993, in which multiple patrons were arrested for not having their NRICs on them. This came to be remembered by veteran activists as Singapore’s Stonewall. 

Fear about the spread of AIDS was part of the reason why police intensified their clamp down on queer spaces. In April 1987, Singapore experienced its first AIDS-related death. And one year later, the Director of Public Affairs of the Singapore Police Department said in a Straits Times article that “homosexual activities have been strongly linked to the dreaded AIDS disease,” making it an “added reason in the public interest for police to disallow homosexuals to convert places licensed for entertainment into places where they can congregate.”

Iris��� Work of Fighting Stigma

76-year-old health advisor Iris Verghese was among the first health workers to rise to the occasion when Singapore reported its first HIV/AIDS cases. 

“I knew just as little about HIV/AIDS as everyone else,” said the retired nurse, who first joined Middle Road Hospital, a now-defunct treatment centre for sexually transmitted diseases, in 1974. As part of her job, Verghese was tasked with contact tracing people who had sexually transmitted infections. 

The job brought Verghese to brothels and nightclubs in Geylang’s red-light district, which meant she was no stranger to serving society’s Others with kindness. 

“A lot of it has to do with my faith.”

“I thought about my role models like Jesus and Mother Teresa—they didn’t care what illness you had. If they could hang out with people with leprosy, then who am I to refuse to care for those with HIV/AIDS?”

Verghese’s work is well-documented, and everyone has given her the accolades she deserves—from President Halimah Yacob to the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Singapore to the Straits Times, which named her an everyday hero in 2019.

Plague, a 15-minute short film by Singaporean filmmaker Boo Junfeng, captures the emotional gravity of the care work performed by Verghese and health workers like herself. 

The emotionally-stirring film is inspired by Verghese’s work with HIV/AIDS patients in the ’80s and offers a look into the life of Jamie, a patient who stopped coming to the clinic for treatment and counselling.

In the film’s climax, set in the patient’s HDB flat, Verghese tries to dissuade Jamie from inflicting internalised stigma. Jamie insists on using disposable plastic cups and utensils and cleaning every surface he touches for fear of passing the virus to his loved ones.

Wanting to prove that HIV/AIDS is not transmissible through saliva, Verghese takes Jamie’s plastic cup and drinks from it. She then hands him a regular glass, beckoning for him to drink from it, only for him to swipe it away, breaking the glass and cutting himself in the process. 

Thus comes the true test of Verghese’s dedication to her profession as she steels herself to the drastically heightened risk. Now that her patient is bleeding, she is dealing no longer just with saliva, but with blood carrying the virus. 

In our interview, Verghese recalled many incidents like these. One that stuck with me was her counselling session with Singapore’s first HIV patient, a young gay professional, in 1985. “As I listened to him and gave him a hug, he broke down and cried,” she said. “He said he felt so good afterwards.”

Safe Sex Outreach in the 80s

“Things were very different in the ’80s and ’90s,” said Professor Roy Chan, Founding President of Action for AIDS Singapore (AfA). AfA is a non-government organisation founded in 1988 to fight HIV/AIDS infection in Singapore. 

“There was no internet then. When we set up AfA, we had to rely on word of mouth, phone calls, faxes, pagers, and so on. Mobilisation was not as easy then, but we overcame the obstacles we faced. It was very much more hands-on in those days,” Chan recalled. 

Chan set up AfA as a non-governmental organisation in 1988 to respond to the needs of people living with HIV/AIDS, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, as well as to advocate for greater action and awareness around HIV/AIDS. 

AfA was also one of the first community groups in Singapore that served the needs of LGBTQ+ individuals—namely men who have sex with men—disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS. 

“Back then, people didn’t have as much access to the internet as we do today, meaning that accurate information on HIV/AIDS was much harder to come by, making education efforts vital,” Chan recalled. “On the flip side, no internet meant the gay nightlife scene was more vibrant than what it is today.” 

Since the gay community in the 1980s and 1990s did not have the internet and mobile phone apps to meet other people online, they had to go to physical spaces to fulfil their need for connection, whether it was nightlife establishments or cruising grounds.

Gay clubs were hence crucial in AfA’s outreach programs on safe sex practices back in the ’80s—even if it meant risking the possibility of police raids.

Back then, there were very few places in Singapore where gay men felt safe enough to gather in abundance, making gay clubs a viable hub for outreach and education.

AfA’s outreach efforts endure today in the form of the Mobile Testing Van initiative on weekends. The van, parked outside popular gay nightlife spots in Singapore, aims to bring HIV testing closer to the public, bridging the fear and stigma of walking into a stand-alone clinic to get tested.

The Consequence of Outreach

The people brave enough to put themselves out there to serve a larger cause were but a small minority, especially given the cultural milieu of the time. 

“There was so much that was unknown about HIV/AIDS even among the medical community, much less the general public,” said Verghese.

“Even at Middle Road Hospital, two doctors resigned, and twenty-five nurses asked to be transferred out.”

AfA’s awareness campaigns and fundraiser drives drew a lot of publicity—and no doubt some backlash.

Still, beneath all the headlines and the star power lent by high-profile celebrity allies was the silence surrounding individual HIV/AIDS cases. 

“It was all very hush-hush. People didn’t want to talk about it. No one wanted to know who died of AIDS,” Verghese shared when I asked if the atmosphere in the 90s was similar to that depicted in films and drama series such as The Normal Heart and Pose. 

The shows portrayed the HIV/AIDS crisis in the disease’s epicentre in New York as being a time of deaths and countless funerals attended by surviving gay men. 

One exception to this veil of silence was Paddy Chew, the first Singaporean person to come out publicly as being a person living with HIV/AIDS. 

Chew—well-known for his one-man autobiographical play Completely With/Out Character—told Verghese and her husband that he wanted no crying at his funeral. 

“He asked me to arrange his funeral such that his ashes will be thrown into the sea from a Singapore Armed Forces boat,” said Verghese. She and Chew’s close friends were instructed to be dressed in their party best, with helium balloons that were to be released out at sea. 

“There was one helium balloon that drifted away from the other balloons. To me, that felt like it was Paddy’s soul saying goodbye to us one last time.”

A Tale of Two HIV Diagnoses

Perhaps by coincidence—or not, since Verghese was one of the very few nurses dedicated to caring for HIV/AIDS patients at the time—Toh’s then-partner was also one of Verghese’s patients. 

“My then-partner Freddie and I handled our HIV diagnoses very differently, but of course, we also came from very different backgrounds and life experiences,” said Toh. 

“I found out about my status because an ex-lover of mine had come down with pneumocystis pneumonia (PCP). I flew to Sydney for a diagnosis so that I wouldn’t be registered in the local system here if I was found to be positive.” 

On the other hand, Freddie found out about his HIV-positive status because he was a regular blood donor. Not only was his diagnosis inevitably recorded in the national registry, but Freddie also ran into legal trouble. He was charged in court for false disclosure of his sexual activity. 

“Because of how the entire trial turned out, Freddie was sentenced to imprisonment for twice the expected duration. It affected his entire outlook in life, feeling like he was being framed by a bigger power with an agenda, with the whole world against him,” said Toh, who cared for Freddie until he passed in 2008. 

Toh, on the other hand, took his diagnosis as an opportunity to re-evaluate his life and make the most of the eight years that the doctor told him back in 1989 he had left to live. 

“When I received my diagnosis, the only thing in my mind was this: it is the quality of life that matters, not the quantity.” And so, the two spent the next few years of their lives travelling the world, making their remaining years as meaningful as they could be. 

Anything for a Chance at Life

Maximising his remaining years did not stop at travel for Toh. Having managed to get his hands on antiretroviral therapy in Sydney in the form of azidothymidine (AZT), he went on to look for more effective forms of medication while the technology was being developed in real-time. Toh wanted to help other HIV patients like himself. 

In 1994, Toh joined the Asia Pacific Network of People with HIV/AIDS (APN+), a regional network advocating for the improvement of the lives of people with HIV/AIDS in the Asia-Pacific region, later becoming a Board member and secretariat.

“North America and Europe were progressing swiftly in their battle against HIV/AIDS thanks to the work of activists there putting pressure on their governments and the medical community to channel funding towards the research and development of suitable treatment for HIV/AIDS,” said Toh.

“In Asia, however, it’s a different story. We had to be street smart in our advocacy while also looking elsewhere for allies.”

This meant looking to donors in the West who could be persuaded to recognise the importance of HIV/AIDS advocacy in Asia.

“I was very lucky to have the opportunity to be one of the first few Asians who had access to HAART, said Toh. 

HAART (Highly active antiretroviral therapy) is a triple-combination of antiretroviral drugs discovered in 1996 by Professor David Ho. Toh had been invited to attend the 11th International Conference on AIDS in Vancouver, Canada, where the discovery of this triple cocktail was announced. 

Within three months of beginning HAART treatment in 1996, Toh saw his health improving tremendously, with his CD4 count—a measure for the immune system of PLHIV—increasing exponentially and his viral load becoming undetectable within the fourth month. 

Although Toh already had a supply of free antiretroviral medication from his healthcare provider in Sydney, he continued to look elsewhere for alternative sources for patients who were unable to afford the patented medication. 

“Unlike Taiwan, Hong Kong, and South Korea, where medication for HIV/AIDS was provided to patients for free, Singapore was the only Asian Tiger which did not do so,” said Toh. 

“Meanwhile, pharmaceutical companies in developing countries like Brazil, India, and Thailand were manufacturing their own generic antiretroviral medication in spite of patent laws, making it more affordable.”

While still not free, MOH announced in 2020 that HIV medication would become subsidised.

Singapore’s Very Own ‘Buyers Club’

With patented HIV/AIDS medication in the ’80s continuing to be inaccessible to many who needed it, buyers clubs—similar to the one featured in the 2013 film Dallas Buyers Club—would soon emerge worldwide, including Singapore. 

“The funny thing was that Australia had easy access to HIV/AIDS medication, so there was a lot of stock available in Sydney,” said Verghese. A family vacation down under in 1987 turned into an informal research trip for her to network and gather the information that she needed to perform her job optimally. 

During her trip, she met HIV researcher Dr David Cooper, who brought her to Albion Street Centre (now known as The Albion Centre), which specialises in HIV/AIDS management. 

Through her newfound contacts, Verghese managed to get her hands on some of the unused stocks of medication in Sydney back to Singapore for her support group. 

“We even got the help of the Singapore Airlines flight attendants to pool together their unused baggage allowance to bring this medication back,” she recounted with a laugh. 

Antiretroviral medication was not the only asset that Verghese brought back. She learned a lot about the virus from the professionals she met in Sydney, allowing her to move faster than the national response and gather the information needed to tend to her patients. 

A Ground Up Initiative

“George Yeo was actually very impressed with what we were doing,” recounted Verghese. “He wanted to meet with the community to learn more about our efforts and arranged a closed-door meeting with us.”

The meeting was the culmination of months of sending letters to Yeo, the Minister of Health at the time. The dialogue session was held to discuss the government’s rule that mandated the bodies of AIDS sufferers to be buried or cremated within twenty-four hours of dying. 

This rule was finally lifted in December 2000, after four years of advocacy by AfA.

They argued that the policy was outdated, having been implemented in the mid-1980s when hardly anything was known about HIV/AIDS. 

“I think we’ve certainly had to prove ourselves as an organisation over the years,” Chan said. “There might have been concerns among some who thought of us as a gay rights organisation, or misconceptions that AfA worked solely on issues that concern gay people.”

“But we’ve proven ourselves over the years to be a serious and effective organisation tackling HIV/AIDS and sexual health with clear metrics of success, and the results and continued support from the government speak for themselves,” added Prof Chan. 

Toh, who served as AfA’s Executive Director from 2007-2009, concurs. 

“Actually, not many people know this, but MOH has been quite supportive of AfA over the years. Even during my term, they would hold closed-door discussions with us, intently wanting to work with us on eliminating HIV/AIDS,” said Toh. He reckoned that MOH did not want to be publicly seen as supporting something considered by society as ‘morally corrupt’ no matter how beneficial it is to wider society. 

The Fruits of Our Predecessors’ Labour Are Not Handed on a Silver Plate

The history of HIV/AIDS and its role in fomenting community-building among the LGBTQ+ community has always been a topic of fascination for me.

I can only imagine what it must have been like to see everyone in your social circles and communities succumbing, one by one, to an unknown disease. 

Covid-19 provided the closest representation of the tumultuous and uncertain time in the ’80s.

In the midst of writing this, however, the comparison became a much closer one. Monkeypox is now affecting men who have sex with men more than the rest of the general population. 

“It’s not the same thing,” Chan said, cautioning against making blanket comparisons between monkeypox and HIV/AIDS.

“For starters,” he intoned, “monkeypox is not an unknown disease. We’ve known about monkeypox for decades, so it is nothing close to HIV back in the ’80s.”

Admittedly, life is easier for a gay man like me, who came of age at a time when HIV/AIDS is no longer considered a significant threat. 

With common knowledge of medication as well as preventative measures like safer sex and pre and post-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP and PEP), it is easy for me and my peers to take for granted the freedoms that we now enjoy, thanks to decades of advocacy and destigmatisation. 

But as Prof Chan said, “It is important not to be complacent. The freedoms and advancements we have today were not handed on a silver platter. Earlier generations had to fight very hard for all of these things.”

[goliath-de-senfina-sango]

Danny Phantom and the Riordanverse

I have some thoughts about a Shared World kind of crossover between Danny Phantom and Percy Jackson & the Olympians. I haven’t done a full rewatch of DP in ages, nor have a read outside the core 5 PJO books, the HOO books, the Kane Chronicles, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, and about 2 and a half of the Trials of Apollo books, also been a while. Apologies for any inaccuracies but hey, fanon.

A Glitch In Time canonizes that the Infinite Realms and Material World were once one and the same, but a global war - waged by people who were naturally half ghost the way Danny and Vlad are - split the world in 2. All things regarding Pariah Dark, I’d say he was one of the major powers in this war.

Realms can range from a 10x10x10 room to entire islands with their own celestial bodies like Dora’s kingdom and its sun. Technically we don’t know if the Far Frozen even has an End Point. Doors can lead to alternate timelines; Desiree, Ghost Writer and Clockwork are all able to warp reality, time included, and the Observant Council perceive time in at least 2 dimensions.

In the Riordanverse it is revealed in the few books of the Trials of Apollo that I read and remember that mortal belief from even a relatively small cult can elevate a mortal man to immortal status a la monsters and Gods. Apollo even muses about the way the Gods don’t want to acknowledge how dependent on mortals remembering them they are.

All of this considered, if you want DP to exist in the Riodanverse and even keep the lore of both, then the Realms/Planes/Worlds of the Gods - of Hellas, Kemet, the Æsir and Vanir, the Heavenly Beauracracy, etcetera - are Realms connected to the Spirit World but managed to remain intersected with the Material World through the efforts of the Gods and the memories of Mortals.

The Duat could even be a layer of the Infinite Realms, frankly.

Danny states that his accident was a month ago as of Episode 1, Mystery Meat, which is set April 3rd, 2004. Based on the few concrete date indicators we get in Danny Phantom, the series takes place over 3 years. 4 if you count Claw of the Wild, but that means the trio stays Tiny all the way into Senior Year lol.

Prisoners of Love begins on May 18th, Fright Knight is a Halloween episode, and in Lucky in Love, they’re at a waterpark, which only open in May at the earliest. The Fright Before Christmas is obviously set before and during Christmas and then Reality Trip is set at the beginning of Summer 2006.

In Urban Jungle, Tucker remarks that it’s 90 degrees outside, which means it’s either late May or early June since I do believe they Are in school at that point and iirc global warming hadn’t made it 90 in the midwest early in 2006. Claw of the Wild is an odd camping episode featuring Danny’s class, and I forget in episode details so if this was during school time it had to be during the spring since, again, they live relatively close to the Great Lakes, so it’s gotta be during a naturally warm time. A Glitch In Time, therefore, is set in late spring or early summer of 2008.

Percy Jackson is 12 at the beginning of The Lightning Thief & 13 at the end Iirc since his birthday is August 12th. Either way, this is in 2005. Sea of Monsters and Titan’s Curse are both set during 2006; Battle of the Labyrinth is in 2007, and iirc The Last Olympian is set next year during 2008 and Percy is 16.

Thereby when the Heroes of Olympus books begin in 2008-2009, Danny is 18 and either a senior or highschool graduate. This is a hilarious point in time for Percy to meet Danny, actually, or any of our protagonist crew, if you want to maintain canon for both.

I know most people don’t, in fact, care to keep up DP canon nearly this rigidly, so some other fun thoughts.

In Reality Trip, Freakshow acquires the Reality Gauntlet, and begins the summer (as this begins on a last day of school event I’d say probably even on the Solstice) of 2006 with a reality warping bang. Once he gets the gems, Freakshow transforms the whole world into his circus, until Danny tricks him and gets the glove back, fixing reality to exactly how it was before the change, wiping his identity from the memories of everyone save Tuck, Sam, & Jazz, and then destroyed the Reality Gauntlet in a single shot.

This, I imagine, would grab the attention of The Gods. That’s if the Pariah Dark situation didn’t register to them, even. Considering Percy is 13 at the time and due to deal with the Sea of Monsters situation, the Kane siblings haven’t been recruited yet (I think) and Magnus is still just a homeless kid in Boston, I dunno if anyone from New Rome would be sent but the Gods of various pantheons may investigate directly or through minor gods/spirits.

The House of Life certainly wouldn’t approve of the Ghost Portals, Vlad, or possibly even Danny. Hell, Luke might actually be sent to recruit Danny or Vlad to the Titan’s cause now that I think about it.

With the fact that Danny, Vlad, and Dan were destroying other timelines while smashing into them from sheer speed through the Spirit World during A Glitch In Time, I’d say Danny is at least a 6D being (existing in at least 4 dimensions of space and 2 of time.) If that doesn’t count him as a God, idk what would. Also during Infinite Realms, Vlad and Danny time travel to both ancient Rome during an event in the colosseum and ancient China at a monetary. If these are the same universe as Danny’s, then he and Vlad should have a myth or two regarding one another, which would also put them on the watch list for Olympus and the Bureaucracy of Heaven.

But hey, what do you think? I’m open to talk about this and wanna hear other people’s thoughts and opinions.

[girlactionfigure]

It was a "small" act.

But, at the time, she didn’t realize she was making a life-changing, and life-saving decision, not only for her but for hundreds of Polish Jews during the Second World War, helping save them from Nazi execution.

Only when she died, on April 8, 2022, at the age of 107 did the rest of the world learn of her courage.

She was born Carmen Koppel in Vienna, daughter of Frieda and Emil Koppel. Her father, an opera-loving grain merchant, chose her name after Bizet’s Carmen,” according to The Guardian, “She studied languages at the University of Vienna, taking shorthand to help with her note-taking.”

She said “My mother had insisted that I learn something useful, so I learnt to type.”

“In 1936 she married Josef Weitmann, who owned a curtain-making business in Kraków, and the couple settled there and had a son, Sascha.

“After the German occupation of Poland in 1939, the administration wanted to re-establish Kraków as Krakau, a German city. As Jews, [she] and her husband were forced to live in the Kraków ghetto, established by the Nazis in 1940. Its inhabitants were allowed to leave and return only with special permits. Josef was killed while trying to escape; Sascha was smuggled to relatives in Hungary.”

According to the New York Times, “in late 1944, as a slave laborer in the administrative offices of the Plaszow concentration camp in Poland, [she] typed an important version of the manifest of prisoners bound for [a] munitions factory in the area of the Czech Republic then known as the Sudetenland.”

“It was in those offices” that she also added her name and the names of two friends to the list, indicating her profession as “schreibkraft,” according to writer Alex Mindlin.

By typing that list, she almost certainly saved her own life, the lives of her friends, and many others, according to Mindlin.

That “list” “saved them from the gas chambers of Auschwitz, where most of the other Jews from Plaszow were deported,” according to The Teller Report.

Years later after the war, she would meet again the man who had made that list possible, the man who employed her.

She had a different last name by this time, but he still remembered her by her nickname. [She never liked the name “Carmen”, so close friends referred to her after a character in “La Bohème”.]

'It must have been around 1953,” she said. “I had gone to Vienna and I was walking along a street with an uncle. We were passing a coffee house where there was a group of people sitting. This large man ran across and hugged and started kissing me, saying: ‘Mimi, Mimi…’

“It was then that I realised that it was Schindler sitting with some of the Jews he had rescued.”

“The documents that [Mimi Reinhardt] worked on were made famous by Thomas Keneally’s 1982 novel . . . and by the 1993 Steven Spielberg movie ["Schindler's List"], both of which detailed the extraordinary lengths to which [Oskar] Schindler went to save the lives of some 1,200 of his Jewish workers,” according to the Times.

Other sources cite the number of lives saved even higher. According to AFP (Agence France-Presse) and The Times of Israel, “The lists which Reinhardt compiled for [Schindler] helped save the lives of some 1,300 Jews at considerable risk to his own life.”

“Austrian-born Reinhardt (sometimes spelled “Reinhard), herself a Jew, was recruited by Schindler himself and worked for him until 1945.”

This is a new story for the Jon S. Randal Peace Page. The Peace Page focuses on past and present stories seldom told of lives forgotten, ignored, or dismissed. The stories are gathered from writers, journalists, and historians to share awareness and foster understanding, to bring people together. And, as such, the stories are never relegated to one single month - they are available all year in the Peace Page archives and on this page each week throughout the year. We encourage you to learn more about the individuals and events mentioned here and to support the writers, educators, and historians whose words we present. Thank you for being here and helping us share awareness.

~~~~~

Reinhardt, then known as Carmen Koppel, “survived the final liquidation of the Kraków ghetto in March 1943, when 2,000 Jews were slaughtered, because the Nazis deemed her language and secretarial skills useful,” according to The Guardian.

At the time, the Red Army was approaching Poland and workers in Plaszow were being sent west to death camps,” according to The New York Times.

Reinhardt was a ��prisoner at a concentration camp near Krakow, Poland during WWII in 1944,” according to the World Jewish Congress, when Schindler recruited her for a job in the camp's administrative office.

“Schindler and his Jewish accountant Itzhak Stern, who had helped to motivate Schindler, prepared the 'list' of essential workers - all of them Jews - for relocation to his new factory,' according to writer Peter Beaumont.

As Schindler’s secretary, Reinhardt “drew up the lists of Jewish workers in the Polish city of Krakow to work in the factory of her German industrialist boss”, according to writer Caroline Frost.

“This was a highly risky enterprise but is estimated to have saved . . . [the] workers from deportation and almost certain death in Nazi concentration camps.”

Reinhardt also “added the names of friends and her own married names until Schindler's quota negotiated with the SS was fulfilled: "Weitmann, Carmen, January 15, 1915, typist" is number 279 on the list.

“The rescue almost went awry” according to The Teller Report.

“On the way to Brünnlitz in 1944, the train carrying Schindler’s workers was diverted to Auschwitz,” according to The Guardian. “Death seemed inevitable. But Schindler used his military intelligence contacts to stop the diversion, claiming that these workers were vital for his armaments factory.”

“They had to stay in Auschwitz for two weeks,” according to The Teller Report.

“Mimi Reinhardt later compared the time to Dante's ‘Inferno’.”

“At the war’s end, [Schindler’s] workers were liberated, and Mimi was reunited with Sascha.”

Reinhardt “settled for a time in Morocco and then New York, where she lived for 50 years,” according to The Guardian. “She kept in touch with other ‘Schindler Jews’ whose lives had been saved by escaping the Plaszów camp under Schindler’s protection, but did not speak publicly about her earlier life until she moved to Israel in 2007.”

In Israel, she joined “her only son, Sacha Weitman, who was then a professor of sociology at Tel Aviv University,” according to The Times of Israel.

Schindler died in 1974, when he “was named by Israel’s Yad Vashem Holocaust museum as a member of the ‘Righteous Among the Nations’, an honour for non-Jews who tried to save Jews from Nazi extermination,’ according to Frost. “He is buried on the Mount of Olives just outside Jerusalem.”

The story of Reinhardt’s “small act” came to light when she was being interviewed by the Jewish Agency for Israel. (Note, “Reinhardt wasn’t directly portrayed in the Schindler’s List film,” according to News18.)

Reinhardt “expressed regret that Mr. Schindler, whom she adored, did not become a household name until after his death in 1974,” wrote Mindlin.

“He would have loved it, the attention,” she said.

She added in another interview, "I saw a man who was constantly risking his life for what he was doing. He was human. He must have had a heart of gold."

Reinhardt spent her last years at a nursing home north of Tel Aviv.

She is “mourned by her son and his family, as well as the thousands of people whose parents and grandparents she helped escape certain death,” according to the Jerusalem Post.

She has three granddaughters, nine great-grandchildren and two great-great-grandchildren.

In the image attached, Sasha Weitman, son of Mimi Reinhardt, holds an old photograph of his mother in Herzliya, Israel, (AP Photo/Ariel Schalit).

Of her contribution to history and assisting Schindler in saving hundreds of her fellow Jews, Reinhardt said, “I was just typing the list.”

~ jsr

The Jon S. Randal Peace Page  

[sallowtheories]

What would happen if Sebastian became a professor?

This is a long one, but I just realized that if Sebastian somehow manages to follow in the footsteps of his parents and become a professor at Hogwarts, he could have taught Albus Dumbledore, Aberforth Dumbledore, Newt Scamander, Tom Riddle Jr, among many others.

Imagine it - the year is 1895, and a 20 year old Sebastian Sallow has just accepted the job as the professor of Magical Theory - a job one of his parents (I theorize), used to have before professor Fig. A position that would fit Sebastian, given the goals and values of knowledge his parents has passed on to him.

Sebastian would have been present in the Great Hall the evening Aberfoth Dumbledore would be sorted into Gryffindor, and would have taught him in his first year classes on the subject.

Some time before 1908, Sebastian would be teaching when Albus Dumbledore became a professor at Hogwarts. The same Albus Dumbledore that Sebastian watched getting sorted back in 1892, during Sebastian’s last year at Hogwarts. The same Albus Dumbledore, who his fellow classmates whispered about, wondering if he was any like his father. But now, at the age of 33, Sebastian would find himself in the Faculty Tower, having deep and interesting conversations with Albus about Magical Theory.

At times they would talk about their pasts. Sebastian would let a little slip about his family, and so would Albus, but they would never confide in each other more than that. They just knew about the other’s struggle, nothing more. Maybe there would be a friendship. A professional friendship, yet they would somehow always know a little more than they would like to say.

In 1908 Sebastian Sallow would be sitting at the teachers table, watching as Newt Scamander would get sorted into Hufflepuff, and Leta Lestrange into Slytherin.

In 1926, at the age of 51, Sebastian would have a knowing feeling that Albus had something to do with Newt going to America, and in 1927 his suspicions would be confirmed when members if the aura office showed up at Hogwarts, heading straight for Albus in his classroom.

In 1938, at the age of 63, Sebastian would watch with uneasiness as a certain Tom Riddle Jr gets sorted into Slytherin. He senses something familiar about the boy, but can’t quite place it. However, during their classes together, Sebastian would find himself impressed with the boy’s abilities, wondering if maybe he possessed the same abilities as a certain someone he knows… but soon Sebastian would learn that it wasn’t the case, but that the boy possessed a different ancient ability…

Many professors liked the young Riddle boy, and Sebastian too would find that the young boys charm had won him over. In some ways it was like look at himself at that age. Young, handsome, charming, with a way to bend the rules. Especially after both Sebastian and several other teachers had caught Mr. Riddle sneak around in the restricted section, and each time they would let him go with yet another warning. But that would change on day in 1942, not long before the summer that year.

During a day in April 1942, Tom Riddle would come to Sebastian in his office, asking kindly if he could have a word with him. It wasn’t uncommon for Tom to do so. He often enjoyed taking with his professors, and especially about quite advanced magic. Tom often found and interest in Sebastian’s research, so of course he allowed Tom into his office.

Tom proceeded to ask Sebastian if he knew anything about the name Marvolo. Sebastian asks him what it’s about, thinking of his best friend’s brother, remembering all the things Ominis had told him about the man. Some what mad, having two children of his own, and gambled and whored away all the money he had gotten after their parents death.

67 year old Sebastian asks the 16 year old Tom what it is about. Tom asks Sebastian if he knows about his… home. The orphanage. And to Sebastian he sounds sad, and for a moment Sebastian’s heart breaks for the poor boy. He almost doesn’t catch the look in Tom’s eyes, when he checks for Sebastian’s reaction.

“You see, professor, I just so badly want to know about my family, and it is the only name I can go off of. No year book says anythings about Riddles”.

“I understand, Mr. Riddle, I absolutely do. But I will have to ask you again. Where did you get the name Marvolo from?”

Something flashes in Tom’s eyes. Something dark, for just a small moment. Something Sebastian has seen before. Something he saw in his own eyes as a 15 year old, trying to figure out how that relic worked… But then Tom smiles, the flash in his eyes gone, as if it was never there.

“I’m sorry, sir. I should have told you, sir. It’s my middle name. As I told you, I am researching my family, trying to find some… answers. And there’s nothing about Riddles at Hogwarts, so the only other thing I have to go off of, is Marvolo. I suspect… I suspect it’s from my mother’s side”.

“Tom”, Sebastian started, not seeing the way the boy almost flinched at his name. “I don’t have much to tell you about Marvolo. I never really spoke to him, and he finished during my second year-“.

“But his sister graduated while you were in your third year”, Tom said, almost startling his professor, an intensity in his eyes. “And his brother was in the same year as you”.

“So you have already found what you’re looking for?”

“Sorry sir, that was inappropriate of me. I didn’t mean to pry, but I’m growing desperate in my search. What do you know about the Gaunts?”

And so Sebastian told young Tom about the Gaunts. Their history, their legend and their ancestry. However he know nothing about Marvolo’s whereabouts, and decided lying about Ominis would before the best, having a feeling it would be best to leave him out of the conversation. And then, moments later when young Tom left his office, Sebastian regretted immediately, writing to Ominis at the first moment he got.

Months later, Sebastian and Ominis would find themselves in Feldcroft, when an owl came with the Daily Prophet. Muggle murder - Morfin Gaunt had killed the Riddle family.

Ominis knew straight away. It wasn’t Morfin. His nephew may have been an overly inbred idiot, but it wasn’t him. But how would Ominis know anything about his nephew? He hadn’t even spoken to Marvolo in years. It wasn’t until that day he learned that his brother in fact was dead, and has been so for several years. But Ominis just knew. Tom Riddle was danger.

Upon Sebastian’s return to Hogwarts that September, he was surprised to find that Tom still had many questions about Magical Theory. More than ever before. More… specific. More… dark… than before. Subjects that Sebastian remembered he himself had read about in the restricted section. But the day Tom took it a step too far, and asked about inferi, Sebastian cut the conversation shot, obviously uncomfortable. Especially more uncomfortable when he saw the look in Tom’s eyes, reading him like a book. After that Sebastian avoided Tom like the plague, not caring if it was ethical or not. Talented or not, Sebastian could not handle such a questioning again, especially not about… those. Sebastian did not wish to remember those…

Tom may have asked Sebastian many questions about Magical Theory, bur there had always been specific professor that Tom had taken a strong liking to - professor Slughorn - head of Slytherin house. Strange man in Sebastian’s opinion. If he and the certain person in his life had been Slughorn’s students, they wouls have found themselves collected in these then a day. And of course, Tom Riddle had been collected by Slughorn, invited to his many parties. But never had Sebastian expected the day Slughorn would come to the Faculty Tower, an expression of distress on his face, along with a flinch whenever Riddles name was mentioned. At that point Sebastian was able to put two and two together. Riddle had asked Slughorn something worse. Much worse.

That June, a Ravenclaw student was found dead in one of the girls bathrooms, and Sebastian was not the least bit surprised that Albus already had his theories about who could have done it. Sebastian had one as well, but for the moment he didn’t say a word, not even to Dumbledore. Instead he wrote to Ominis, and Ominis agreed, writing personally to Amando Dippet, calling for him to close the school. And with the rumors of the school closing, whatever had attacked the Ravenclaw girl stayed abay. But Sebastian did not expect, was for Tom to suddenly march the half giant Rubeus Hagrid in front of the staff, telling them about the giant spider the student kept hidden, or as Tom put it - the monster that killed that Ravenclaw girl.

Given wizards and witches ability to age greater than muggles, a few things could happen. Sebastian could decide to retire before the age of 70, spending the rest of his life with whatever family and friends he still had left, or he could continue teaching, doing his research on the side, just like he had always done it. Just like professor Fig had done it. Just like his parents had done it.

In 1945 at the age of 70, Sebastian would have been at the school, when Tom Riddle asked Amando Dippet for a position at Hogwarts the moment he graduated, before he even ventured a foot outside the school. He would have noted the shaken look on Slughorn when he received that Tom was looking for a position at Hogwarts. But Dippet had declined Tom's offer, believing he was too young, telling him to come back in a few years if he still wanted a position.

In 1947, Sebastian and many others would have been watching with great intent, as the Sorting Hat took it's time with Minerva McGonagall, before finally sorting her into Gryffindor.

If Sebastian still found his age to be no trouble, and his job worth the time and energy, he would have been 81 in 1956 when his colleague, and now friend, Albus Dumbledore would take over the position of headmaster at Hogwarts.

In 1961, at the age of 86, Sebastian would not have been the least bit surprised to see the red heads of Arthur Weasley and Molly Prewett getting sorted into Gryffindor.

Should age still not be of matter, Sebastian would have been 90 when a Lucius Malfoy got sorted into Slytherin, just five years before the first wizarding war would break out.

But would Sebastian still be alive when Harry's parents would start at Hogwarts? We know that in the mid 1990's, the life average expectancy of a witch or wizard was 137 years and three months, so therefore it wouldn't be strange to believe that he would live so long, even if he was from around 1875. Amando Dippet was around 200 years old, when he took up the position of headmaster, and I still wonder how old Bathilda Bagshot was when she died.

So if we continue under the presumption that Sebastian would live to at least 137 and three months, then he would have been 96 in 1971 when Lily Evans, James Potter, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew sat their feet in the Great Hall for the first time.

Sebastian would have been there, as the Whomping Willow got planted, and maybe, at least once, he would have been one of the teachers escorting a young Remus Lupin to the hidden passage.

Around the year 1975, around the age of 100, Sebastian would find Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew standing outside of his office, whispering among each other, figuring out who should ask him.

"Ask professor Sallow about what?"

Watching the four Gryffindor boys scrumbling among themselves, their faces draining of color. Sebastian knew that look. He had seen it on his friends, and he was sure he had been wearing it several times throughout his life. It was the look of getting caught.

"We're sorry if we disturbed you, professor Sallow, but we have some questions about... well you see...", James Potter said, desperately searching for the words, that would make their professor less suspicious of them. "Sirius here really wants to be a map maker for the ministry, but he just have no idea how to do it, and he’s a little bit embarrassed about it. You know… not being able to make a magical map…", James said, ignoring the dead pan look Sirius was giving him, Remus and Peter holding back their chuckles.

Sebastian studied the boys in front of him, knowing fully well their tendency to sneak around Hogwarts. Four troublemakers they were, and Sebastian had had them at detention in his classroom several times. But there was no denying that he had once found himself in the same position as them, running around the school at night, getting up to no good with his friends. So of course the four trouble making Gryffindors wouldn't fool Sebastian. But what was the harm in letting them know the theory behind magical maps. What could go wrong?

Then, in the year 1981, when Sebastian found himself at the age of 106, news broke of the death of the Dark Lord, after he had hunted down the Potters in their house, and killed Lily and James Potter, leaving a one year old Harry Potter as the soul surviver. Both Sebastian and Albus (I have a theory about how and why Sebastian would know about it, other than being the professor of Magical Theory) would know the truth of Harry's survival - Lily. Lily's love saved Harry and got rid of the Dark Lord.

In 1982 Bill Weasley would start at Hogwarts, and Sebastian once again found himself smiling when he saw Leander and Garreth's red gens still running strong.

In 1984, Charlie Weasley would start at Hogwarts, along side who might be Sebastian's own great grandchild (I have theories/headcannons about how the MC from Hogwarts Legacy might be connected to the MC from Hogwarts Mystery, but that is for another day).

In 1987, Percy Weasley would start at Hogwarts, followed by the twins Fred and George in 1989, making Sebastian wonder where on earth Molly and Arthur found the energy. Although, he thought that they deserved a medal for trying to repopulate the wizarding world after the first wizarding war.

Sebastian would be 116 in 1991, when Harry Potter finally came to Hogwarts, along side yet another Weasley. This would have to be the last Weasley, right?

In 1992 Sebastian would have been proven wrong when yet another Weasley came to the school. However this year, Sebastian would once again find himself writing to Ominis in horror, at the rumors of the Chamber of Secrets having been opened once again. But Ominis was at a loss for words. He had no ideas, and he was worried. Very worried. And he was just as worried when he and Sebastian learned that it was the diary of Marvolo's grandchild that had opened the chamber.

In 1993, Sebastian would finally learn of the reason James and his friends came and asked him about maps, finding his newest colleague Remus Lupin once again asking him about maps. Could these kind of maps show people who were dead? And with that confusing question, Remus would finally show Sebastian the Marauders Map. For a moment fear would rush over his face. What rooms did this map show? But to his luck, neither the Undercroft, the Room of Requirement, nor the entrance into the Map Chamber - none of it. Relief fell over Sebastian, before he answered the question Remus had been asking - no, such a map would not show dead people.

In 1995, a 119 year old Sebastian would feel the first signs of age, as he and all the others awaited the champions’ return from the maze. But to alls horror, Harry Potter would return with the body of Cedric Diggory. And when Harry cried that the Dark Lord was back, Sebastian believed him, contacting Ominis as fast as possible.

When a new school year started in 1995, 120 year old Sebastian found himself seated at the same table as a toad stuffed into a pink dress. Horrible woman, who Sebastian time and time again would find in his classroom, keeping an eye on how he taught the first years in the basics of Magical Theory, taking plenty of notes when he taught the older students who had taken the more advanced class.

In the end of June 1996, Sebastian found himself at the receiving end of strange questions from Albus. One asking about Ominis' whereabouts, and another asking if the could join him for tea. Here Albus asked Ominis for permission to destroy some family heirlooms of his. Not any that he himself had gotten, but his brother. Ominis, having an idea of what it could be about, gave Dumbledore permission. Dumbledore then turned his attention to Sebastian, asking him a question he never thought imaginable - "how does one destroy a horcrux?"

"That", Sebastian answered, pointing towards the sword of Godric Gryffindor. "It is goblin metal, is it not? Taking on the powers of what makes it stronger. Mr. Potter used it to kill the basilisk".

"Remind me to thank the boy one day", Ominis muttered.

The September, Sebastian would return to Hogwarts, finding himself surprised at the return of Slughorn as potions master. Upon asking Albus about it, however, he got told a totally different thing. Different, but probably more important.

"Do not attempt to interfere. Neither you, Ominis or the one that hold ancient power. This is not your fight, and if it is to work, you will have to stay out of it. I thank you Sebastian, for all that you have done, both as a fellow student, a teacher and a friend. But I fear that soon, Hogwarts will not be safe place much longer".

"What would you want me to do, Albus?"

"I want you all to flee the country as soon as possible. Take Ominis and your friend and hide them. If Voldemort were to ever realize that he is not the last of his Salazar Slytherin's descendants, he will try to find them. And should he learn of the power of ancient magic, he will try to use it. He will look for it. And I fear he will be more successful than Ranrok".

At the end of the school year in 1997, Sebastian still found himself at Hogwarts. Though Sebastian may be 122 at this point, he would not be any less stubborn, or convinced that he knew of what to do. But that one evening when Dumbledore was seen, falling from the Astronomy Tower, that had just been illuminated by the familiar green glow of the killing curse, Sebastian understood. As the dark mark hung above the school, Sebastian understood. Once again, those dearest to him was in danger.

And so, like so many others that year, Sebastian packed this things. This would be the last year he taught at Hogwarts. But neither he or those nearest him wished to flee. Instead he stayed at his uncle's old home in Feldcroft, listening in, during what they could in an attempt to help the order.

When Death Eaters took over Hogwarts Valley, they gave the order all the information they could.

Maybe in the year 1998, after Harry Potter had done what needed to be done, you could find an elderly Sebastian Sallow and an elderly Ominis Gaunt, together with an elderly friend of ancient magic, among the many students, teachers, aurors and those who wished for a free world, fighting against the Death Eaters. Maybe they survived it, or maybe this was the battle that killed them.

If they did survive the Battle of Hogwarts, I highly doubt that Sebastian would go back to teaching. Not because he didn't want to, but his age. With the time he and his loved ones would have left in this world, than maybe it would be nice for his to take it slow for once, knowing that he and those closest to him had done their part in history, and now it was time for a well deserved break, hopefully with some good books, a butterbeer in hand, and the smell of the ocean.

------------

I might make a fan fiction out of this.

[afreakingdork]

You Are My Sunshine, My Only Moonshine - Chapter 19

RotTMNT x Reader

@anixolt is back this week with yet another stunning piece! What's bothering Donnie? Read on to find out!

Rated: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationships: Michelangelo (TMNT)/Reader, Michelangelo (TMNT)/You, Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Donatello (TMNT)/You

Warnings: POV Second Person, Gender Neutral Reader, Anxious Reader, Introverted Reader, Stuttering, Aged-Up Mutant Ninja Turtles, Romance, Love, Love Confessions, Falling In Love, Unrequited Love, Rejection, Aromantic Asexual Michelangelo (TMNT), Bisexual Donatello (TMNT), Pansexual Leonardo (TMNT), Lesbian Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit, Demisexual April O'Neil (TMNT), Implied Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit/April O'Neil/Sunita, Endgame Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Romantic Love, Platonic Love, Panic Attacks, Sexuality Crisis, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety, Happy Ending, Fluff

Synopsis:  You’ve lost most of your life to anxiety and fear. Now, in your late 20s, you are desperate to reclaim it and during one such outing you encounter the sun personified. With his and his similarly celestially inspired family, will you finally reach your goal or will you lose yourself along the way?

Also available on Ao3

First 💛 Previous

“… Can stacking competition certificate, cup stacking competition certificate, Oreo stacking competition certificate…” Mikey counted off each accolade with a tap against a fine tablecloth.

You were trying not to laugh the food out of your mouth.

“I have a whole folder dedicated to stacking related awards! I could go on!” While that was what he said, he actually went to take a bite of a piece of bacon.

“W-why would Oreo hold something l-like that?” You got your bite down.

“Big Nabisco works in mysterious ways!” He took on a mind blown look before he came back down. “This is nice. I’m having fun. Are you having fun?”

You had an ‘of course’ loaded, but you’d also taken another bite of croissant.

Mikey accepted an enthusiastic nod instead.

The brunch restaurant was gorgeous.

The crowds were thin.

The food was exquisite.

Your server rarely returned.

You were in great company.

It was the making of a perfect day.

“Sorry… it’s been awhile…” You eventually got out.

He blew a raspberry and waved you off.

“No… I am!” You pressed. “This is the… first time in… over a month?”

“Counting or not counting the grubby run in at the lab?” Mikey’s attention bobbed somewhere behind you.

You stiffened and looked over your shoulder to find a waiter heading your way.

You sank down into your seat so you could prepare your retort for the staff.

You would shake your head if they asked if you needed anything else.

You would nod if they asked if things were good.

You couldn’t mix those up.

“Can I help you?” The waiter asked kindly.

Your eyes shot wide as both your prepared actions couldn’t answer the question. 

“Oh, oops! Actually I was…” Mikey trailed off before chuckling. “You know what!? I’ll get something else! A stack of pancakes, my good man!”

“You got it!” The gentleman’s shoes slipped away from your view.

You peeked at your best friend.

“Apparently I flagged him!” He laughed.

You remembered the wave and came up with wobbling lips.

“I really was debating cakes, no worries. Must be fate!”

“Fate pancakes.” You smiled.

“Fate flapjacks!” He adjusted.

“Alliteration is good… um…?” You thought hard. “Fate… crepe?”

“Oh, a slant rhyme, I dig it!”

You felt satisfied and cornered off some eggs with your fork.

“But yeah, dating’ll do that to ya! Especially when you’re obsessed with each other like you guys are!”

You almost got the food to your mouth and froze.

“Like, Leo is the worst!” Mikey sang the phrase. “He gets so absorbed when he’s crushing! At least when Donnie’s face is glued to his cell, you know he’s not listening. Leo could be looking right at you, be in a conversation with you, actively answering what you’re saying, and he’ll just suddenly be like, ‘Do you think so-and-so likes pizza?’ Like bro, we were talking beach episodes, where are you even?!”

You heard a plop as your forkful flopped back down on your plate.

“Raph’s the best. He’s cute because you can drop a name and he’ll explode with embarrassment! He turns his signature color straight through the green, but otherwise, he’s the same. He listens. He’s there for you and by that I mean me. He makes an effort. You make an effort and I am talking about you this time!” He slapped his own palm in emphasis.

You scheduled brunch, you reminded yourself.

Mikey had told you he wanted it, but you had pushed to make it so. 

You made time because it had been awhile.

You missed your best friend. 

It still stung as you thought maybe you weren’t making as much of an effort or showing that as much as you could.

“I get it with you guys though! Your whole start to dating was messy so you’re making up time! Plus, you always text me! I’m only feeling like… a little left out like…” Mikey pinched his fingers in demonstration and they almost came together. He then peered through the microscopic part at you. “Maybe this much?”

“T-there haven’t been many family events…!”

“True!” He nodded his head in a sort of time.

“Mikey… I can’t stress how import-”

“We should plan one!”

You shared a look.

He broke out into a grin first. “What’s important?”

You looked away with a fluttering heart. “You.”

“Aww…!” He gushed.

“Donnie…” You returned your gaze for a different glance.

Mikey’s expression shifted for further affection.

“All of you. The Hamato. I’m so glad… we met…”

“Stop!” He tittered and almost flicked his wrist again, but thought better of it. “No more thanking parade! You’re onto the enjoying part! The easy part!”

“Easy…?” You sent him a knowing look.

“Okay so maybe you and Donnie started out as mortal enemies and then preconceived notions kept you two apart, which lead to only like a month of misery, but basically the same thing happened to us.”  

You waited.

“Except…” He turned to you. “The enemy part, but everything else!”

Your head tipped the slightest amount.

Right on time, Mikey buckled under the pressure. “Okay, it’s nothing alike!”

His pancakes arrived like a predestined cue to free him up. He forgot all about his through line and instead started talking about maple syrup. The one on the table was apparently the real kind and tapped upstate. You listened attentively, asked predictably if Mikey had ever tapped trees to which the answer was yes, and he explained why the boring process was one he never bothered to go through again.

All the while, you couldn’t stop thinking about his easy comment.

Were things easier now?

You didn’t really check in with your anxiety now because it had hit a steady current. It was there, you were better equipped than ever to handle it, and your goal of going out was getting easier and easier. After your last mega list entry, you and Donnie had decided that you were both due for regular dates first until a theater production caught your eye. You and your boyfriend discussed going at length until it was decided that you should. It was coming up soon and you were excited, but the company you kept was never a problem.

Being with Donnie was easy.

Though it bothered you that he seemingly always had his brain churning about how to act around you, it also seemed like that was something his mind did in general. You sympathized to an extent because you did the same, only it was for every other thing, but him. When you were with him, your cares were erased and energy appeared to flow. Whether it was speaking to him or moving with him, you felt like the two of you were in constant motion. Being together was a rehearsed dance that came with intrinsic steps.

“It is… easy…” You spoke the fondness you felt.

Mikey only hummed like he could read your mind and slid his plate over so you could have some pancakes as a reward.

“Let’s plan t-that family hangout…” You readied your fork.

“Yes!” Mikey beat his dish like an excited drum. “Okay, let’s see… What should we do…?”

“Uh… b-before that…O-one more t-thing…?”

He paused and looked up breezily.

“Did y-you… well… forgive me…?”

He blinked rapidly. “For what?”

You verbally chased Mikey around the flapjacks, but he never quite recalled having said you needed to be.

-

Donnie could barely take his eyes off you.

Since you started dating, the burst of your existence seemed to never cease. You were a constantly collapsing neutron star and he was haplessly caught up in the surrounding nebula. As novel as you were, he also couldn’t imagine you any other way. You reached right through his very being to grab the long shielded raw side of his psyche and begged it to stay.

He found himself lighter. He laughed more often. He had an endless expanse with which to exceed some romantic lines he’d been holding onto for literal years and you accepted them as they were. You never faulted him for his theatrics and instead did your best to play along.

He adored you.

Which was why as you triple checked the off-Broadway booking before you even left the lair, he was entranced. Scrolling on your phone appeared like an event and the finer clothes you wore for the occasion only illuminated the backdrop of you. He withheld himself yet again, as he often did since his feelings were announced because, yet again, he was chancing moving too fast.

It was a welcomed speed, but he also wanted to savor it.

His favorite flavor of paradox, it was the oxymoron by which he lived his life. He craved structure and yet he also thrived on destruction. When rules were laid down, he appreciated living within them while also prodding them for their every hole. It was a scientific principle by any name and he adored the field.

Thus as you confirmed the tickets were still in your inbox, he happily took your hand to depart. It was one lulled car ride over to the theater. Instead of filling time with conversation, he allowed the show's mounting interest to linger. One you had both immediately been keen on, he snapped up seats and you prepared the checklist. Everything fell into place as it seemed to always do with you and you were soon mingling in a lobby with others.

A check at a counter waved you through and you were flighty on the way to the seats. You’d expressed concerns about being locked in which Donnie dispelled both by citing the Fire Codes of New York State among other things. The worry clearly persisted by your anxious head swings, so he snuck in close behind you. “Good afternoon, my darling passenger.”

You looked back at him with a curious tilt.

He wanted to whisk you away.

He wanted to keep you in his lab.

He’d study why you did the things you did to his heart on a molecular level.

Ah, but you just had to be cursed with autonomy.

“This is your pre-show announcement. We are about to sit down for our show which has a duration of about two hours and seven minutes…”

You giggled as you caught on and addressed him with your full attention.

He languished in it. “While you might be expected to stay in your seats, there is no seatbelt sign. Instead, it is asked that while the stage lights are on that you are to only keep silent.”

You nodded dutifully.

“Our emergency exits…” He brought up his hands as flags and conducted outward. “… are located there by the back right of the stage and behind me where you surely entered. These doors will remain unlocked during the performance in case of emergency or if you simply want to take a call.”

You patted one of his limbs. “I’m okay…”

“You are.” He leaned into you and you leaned up for his favorite move.

Kissing you was one thing.

Hugging you was another.

Seated in a press was rapidly rising up the ranks, but the act where you tucked your nose underneath his chin was his favorite intimacy. By any other eye, it was nothing, but a tap, but for Donnie it was the pinnacle. It was not only the first contact you ever willingly exerted on him, but it also came with closed eyes from you which was a sign of pure relaxation in his eyes. You always came away from the exchange especially endeared to him and it was his dream to spend a night sleeping just like that.

Which was far in the future, he scolded himself.

You leaned away and took your own flight attendant pose to gesture him down your row. He bowed in courtesy and led the way to the seats. The flapped hinge on the retractable seats made it easy to get down the line. It had been his choice to select seats in the dead center of the auditorium as it gave optimal viewing. He watched you test getting your seat down first, before he moved to join you.

The immediate crawl through his sleeves shook him to his very core.

As you looked back and forth between the stage and exit door, Donnie pinched the scratchy armrest. The fabric coating the chair had the quality of burlap and, with one flick of his fingers, he pinched off a fuzz. That meant more would soon coat his clothes, which was another irritant. He shifted at the prospect and again his skin lit. He would have dressed differently had he known. His current coverings were inoffensive, but weren’t designed to act as a barrier. They prevented direct contact with the shoddy seat, but they also rubbed which made him all the more aware of the wretched texture.

Donnie’s eye was on a never ending twitch when you finally settled. “How did the tickets look?”

Data would soothe him. “When I last checked the system, we were looking at 74% capacity.”

Your eye left him to watch the stream of people coming in.

Two hours and seven minutes.

Could he handle that?

All signs were pointing to no, so Donnie went on the mental offense.

There were all sorts of stores nearby and he could purchase any sort of drop cloth.

As long as it was thick enough then he’d be able to stand sitting here.

That meant leaving you.

The option was deleted from his idea pool.

He refused to be anything other than attendant.

He could take you with him.

That proved difficult only because that would be a last minute change.

You had done fabulously and the day was impossibly agreeable to you for your next mega list item.

Could he interfere?

He certainly didn’t want to.

He didn’t want to blemish his amazing boyfriend track record.

He wouldn’t trade one discomfort for another.

He could stand it.

He had dealt with other sensory nightmares.

What was one more?

If he stayed perfectly still then it almost wasn’t noticeable.

There would be the show.

It would be distracting.

He could go into enough stasis with both those things that it wouldn’t be an issue.

He would have to forsake any show cuddling, but he could bear that cross.

He would hold you afterward.

Walk with you and talk about what you had seen.

It helped.

He felt his roiling epidermis cool to tiny popping bubbles.

The heat was turned off.

He would cool down.

“You okay?”

He moved only his head to look at you. “Pardon?”

“You seem… distracted?”

That was one way to put it. “I want to be in the right mindset to evaluate the performance.”

It wasn’t a lie.

You would surely accept that answer.

“Should we have…” Your fingers flexed. “… a program?”

“Playbill and not all productions create them.”

“Oh…” Your crest fell.

He could get up and look.

There was a chance they’d forgotten.

That meant he would have to sit down again.

He perished the thought.

“I’m…” You perked up on your own. “… going to… go check… I think.”

You looked at him with determination in your eyes.

He would deny you nothing.

There was a chance he could bum a cover from the box office.

Any theater production worth their weight in salt had excess fabric lying around. 

That was a workable solution and he berated himself for not coming to it sooner.

He prepared himself for the scrape of standing.

It would be his last uncomfortable movement. 

“I’ll go.” You tapped his arm. “I’ll be quick… Save our seats?”

You had a prepared gleam in your eye.

You were already in the process of standing.

A mega list item was designed so you could exercise your strength.

You were going to prove to yourself that you could do anything.

He was your back up.

You garnered strength from him.

If only you knew upholstery. “They will go nowhere under my watchful eye.”

“That and the stage…!” You took a few steps away. “D-don’t let them start without me!”

“Never.” He watched lovestruck as you shyly slipped around people to exit.

That left him alone with this fucking chair.

He would no longer be civil and scooted toward the edge of his seat. It freed most of his thighs, his limbs, and the edges of his body from the prison of repugnant fabrics. Now only the clip of his ass was tensed through its layers and he debated standing. Looking up for refuge, he debated getting a closer look at the stage for the sake of it.

A tinny sound came from his left.

Donnie looked to find several musicians readying to lay down the soundtrack. Live music had its advantages and a few preparatory notes would come next as they made sure their instruments were in order. Music had always been a faithful distraction and he was no stranger to numbing volumes. He breathed deep to let the congruent sounds wash over him when the trumpet lifted.

It gave a limp squeal that spoke of an obvious malfunction.

The way the other musicians descended on the player perfectly mimicked the way bugs assaulted Donnie’s skin. They writhed and squirmed their way through his pores until his very being shook. His teeth would chatter if it were any other sense. Instead, he slammed his enamel together and squeezed until his jaw threatened to pop because at least that pressure was one he could control.

It was going to be one of those days.

He was no stranger to overload or meltdowns, but it had been awhile. He had long learned to heed the symptoms and work with them. Two maladies in less than 10 minutes said he was already on the sensory edge which meant he needed to look further back. He could categorize the signs to give himself better projections of how long his fortitude for irritants would last. Though it wasn’t acute, there had been a few notable instances since the day began. He had been unable to stomach what was on the menu for breakfast and lunch. He also snapped at Leo exactly three times though when it was happening it seemed justified.

At the time Donnie chalked them up to excitement for the mounting date, but now they read as trigger symptoms.

He was on a much shorter timetable than he anticipated. 

If he didn’t crawl into a comfortable hovel soon then he was teetering on edge of mental collapse. 

Sighing and immediately remembering he couldn’t slump back, he stared out towards the stage. A lighting technician was adjusting something and the cover to the strobe spun as a result. It singed Donnie’s eyes and he felt that dip in clarity towards rage. Years of washing out his temperament flared as a result and it was the only thing that kept him from yelling out about the terrible preparations the crew was going through.

It wasn’t their fault.

It wasn’t their fault.

This was how plays went. They made sure everything was perfect right up until the last moment. The lights had long been tooled for hitting their marks. Someone must have noticed it was the slightest bit off so it was getting that fine tuning. Instruments were fickle beasts that needed care. It sounded like the trumpet’s mouthpiece was off. That spoke to a recent cleaning and replacement must not have been set just right. It would be corrected. That was why musicians warmed up. That was why any of these pre-show tests were occurring; issues needed to be found now and not during a performance. 

They would all be fixed.

Donnie heard you apologize to some people who had sat further down the row.

You looked flustered, but not as put out as he had seen in you in the past when trying to get out of someone’s way. You had two white slips pinched close to your chest and you flicked him an excited gaze. So, it was success that was offsetting your fear. He loved that.

You were on your way to share your victory.

He needed to cancel.

He needed to call this date off.

As much as he wanted to indulge you, if he crushed your current spirit then there was no way he could live with himself.

If he did it now, he would minimize damage. 

It was better to have a controlled burn than torch the entire day. 

You wiggled down the row and were getting closer by the second.

He had to decide.

Either way he was squashing a portion of your spirit, but it was the amount of which that mattered. 

He supposed there was always a chance he could muster the strength to carry on.

“Donnie!” You couldn’t help but give a hushed shout when you were a few sets away.

He would harbor any port in any type of weather for you. “Seems you were successful.”

“They t-thanked me…” You got to your seat and basically slapped it down to sit. “They almost forgot to pass them out. H-here…”

A piece of paper was innocent enough.

He reached out to take the leaflet.

It had a strange composition and he could feel the rough fibers.

“They’re handmade… like… all of it! The paper too!”

“Huh…” His voice had an even keel compared to his mind.

His skin was being torn apart by the playbill.

His fingers were unraveling to bone. 

At the top of the page was one errant strand.

Something akin to the size of a hair.

It marred the already marbled surface.

It was the stuck pixel ready to break an otherwise perfect television screen.

“Now you can know who each actor is…” You looked over the page without the same disdain.

“Are you sure you want me to be able to pair a name with a face?” A voice like his own teased. “I believe the actors will be in the lobby after the showing. Rife time for questions, comments, or concerns.” 

“Uh oh! A Donnie review m-makes or breaks a performance.” You pretended to be concerned, but there was a rustling on stage. 

The hands marched off which signaled it was nearly curtain call.

The musicians took their places and Donnie could feel each valve press the trumpet did as he practiced his notes.

They decompressed his cranium.

In his hand, that splotch at the top of the playbill appeared to get larger and larger.

Its ink bled and dripped into the writing.

The scrawl there warbled as if ready to fall into his lap.

There were several pieces of fuzz that had already somehow peeled off the chair and landed on his lap.

They weighed thousands of pounds and crushed his legs.

He stared at them with wide eyes.

How did they get there?

When?

He hadn’t moved.

He could count each muscle group exerted.

The lights fell.

In time, Donnie’s head rose.

The auditorium doors were closed audibly.

You shuffled in your seat.

This was the supposed lock in.

Donnie was his own captive.

The crowd hushed.

A man walked out to start the play.

His suspenders had buckles.

The buckles caught the light.

The light went in Donnie’s eyes.

The man kept moving.

He monologued and Donnie guessed the terminology should be adjusted.

He used far too much of his body.

It kept reflecting his damned buckles.

Then he was leaving and it felt like relief until the band took a breath.

They played.

The notes went in harmony.

All technically in tune.

The breath is what grated his tympanum like cheese.

He was peeled each time they had to inhale.

Which was all of it.

Every note.

Every wet gasp.

Spit gathered in reeds and catches.

It spewed out into aerosol.

He was inhaling it.

The sound was choking him.

Actors flooded out.

Talk.

Dance.

Movement.

Loud.

They stepped in it.

They expressed their own.

Spit.

Drivel.

Sputtering.

His chair was soaked.

He hunched forward and caught how his veins pressed against his flexed hands.

Inside him.

The bugs.

Your voice sounded miles away and you grazed his arm.

He didn’t look as his head spun.

The exit was flagged.

He looked through mental code.

Too many people in the way.

He calculated the trajectory.

With one press down against the miserable chair, he leapt.

Behind him, it smacked against itself in a flap and cast his decision in concrete.

He landed at the auditorium doors, but their metal bar was stricken with smudges.

Bacteria.

It coated everything like saliva.  

He manifested a simple block with his ninpo and shoved.

It touched the door to open it.

He had to immediately dispel it because the thought of spittle even touching his constructs made him ill.

He made enough of a crack.

He slipped out into the hall where the fluorescence screamed.

It drowned his tympanum and knocked him off his feet.

He stumbled and thought of shoes.

People stepping on New York sidewalks.

Spit.

Piss.

He couldn’t fall in that. 

He hobbled one way and then another.

It was all coated.

All unclean.

UV light.

The thrum of electricity would kill him, but he tried.

He flicked his ninpo like a lighter without fuel and tried to make a lamp.

The components of the filament alluded him.

He heaved.

He wasn’t breathing.

His ninpo wasn’t working.

Everything was sludge.

It slipped through his palms and splattered heavily on the floor.

He felt his vision burn up.

The singed edges as he caught fire instead.

There was yelling.

His hands flew up and tossed his goggles clean off.

Why weren’t they working?

Silence.

He needed quiet.

This was a performance.

Why was anyone shouting?

Someone touched him.

He snarled at them.

They disappeared.

No one was there.

Blinks.

His eyelids were wet.

His pupils picked up the moisture.

He clawed them shut.

He felt a shove.

He swatted back, but whatever push broom was being used to shoo his feral form was a wily one.

It hit him again and again until he saw an opening.

A door.

He dashed towards it.

There was no data past the frame.

He was out of memory.

He crumpled there on the safety of carpet.

Not the scuffed linoleum.

Instead, it was the patched kind for easy cleaning.

His hands hit it and found a tolerable scratchy quality.

He was curled up in an instant.

Made himself as small as possible.

Drowning everything out.

Minimizing all contact.

Disappearing into himself.

Him.

Only him.

Nothing else.

He could hear his breath so he stopped.

Within the cave of his arms then came his heart.

It pounded thick with the blood it surged.

It moved the wet inside him around.

Right atrium.

Superior vena cava.

Inferior vena cava.

Tricuspid valve.

Right ventricle.

Pulmonary valve.

Pulmonary artery.

Lungs.

Oxygen uptake.

Left atrium.

79 BPM.

60.

42.

39.

27.

Donnie took one breath.

His lungs whistled at their fill.

They were dried out.

He filled the husks.

Lucidity came with a pounding headache.

He didn’t know where he was.

His arms were over his head and numb.

He unfurled them and they came loosely.

The blood flow had been cut off.

He stared at them as if that were marvel until pins and needles pricked him.

They were asleep.

He found his knees next.

His feet were awake with a wiggle inside his shoes.

Then came the carpet.

Some cheap kind that was easy to clean.

Fools always alternated the swatches for aesthetics, but that made it harder to vacuum.

Why ruin utility?

His head lolled upward.

White walls with weathered clippings stuck to them.

Something old.

Something utilitarian.

Something nostalgic.

Was he in an office?

His chin moved in its perpendicular placement to his throat.

There was a being in front of him.

Their back sat rigid and they faced the door.

They were between him and the door.

They were you.

You were between him and the door.

He blinked a few times as the night rushed him.

All the data had been held from the crash in a log. 

His meltdown.

He’d run from the theater production.

Where was he now?

He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t vibrate his vocal cords.

His eyes welled at the sight of the back of your head.

What were you doing?

You turned your back on him.

He failed you.

His chin slammed into his Adam’s apple and he saw something white beside him.

It took moving his pinched legs to the other side, but it revealed a stack.

Two water bottles.

One cold with condensation.

The other room temperature.

A bag of crackers.

Expiration date in three weeks and two days.

A snack cake without branding.

A bottle of equally chilled apple juice.

His goggles.

Carefully laid atop what a cleanly folded square of fabric.

A blanket.

One that was clearly soft and aged.

He touched the last item first.

The threads were worn, but felt familiar.

He put his goggles back on, picked up the cloth, and it unfolded along the way.

He pressed it to his snout and it caressed his cheek.

He nuzzled it, building strength.

Its scent said it wasn’t his, but it was now.

He was absolutely going to steal this.

To solidify his ownership, he slung it over his shoulders.

It curled around his head and felt like a snug neck pillow.

He reached toward the water next.

The cold one warned his fingers away so he grabbed the room temperature one.

It went down like nothing.

Flavorless.

His current preference.

He remembered his goggles and it took one tap to the left headset to activate the noise canceling mode.

Now in his controlled environment, he searched the room.

This was clearly an office. There was a desk behind him and a bookcase on the wall. A few stacked boxes held programs and deliveries that weren’t yet opened. A messy spill of papers threatened to leave the desk. Business was done here.

What were you doing here?

Donnie didn’t attempt to talk, but looked up at the door.

It was shut tightly, but he couldn’t tell if it was locked.

It also seemed discolored, but not dirty. 

He stared until he realized that it wasn’t from paint, but some sort of light was reflecting against the pearl sheen of varnished wood. 

It appeared in maroon tones that read the lightsource must have been purple. 

It lowered Donnie’s eye to you.

He studied your shape until he caught your rim was light.

You were holding something.

He tipped his body to one side and his perspective shifted.

Something was glowing faintly in your arms.

Something a fuchsia color.

Something of his.

An incomplete projection of his ninpo.

One of his palms hit the floor to keep him from falling and you startled.

You didn’t look back and only seemed to strengthen your resolve in staring at the door.

Were you that mad?

He inched further to the side to catch a glimpse of your face.

You didn’t have just one object.

He counted at least four.

They appeared to be half manifested lamps.

He didn’t remember making those. 

Why were you coveting them?

You held them as if it were your solemn duty to guard them.

He gave no such command.

In a flick of his wrist, he allowed them to disintegrate.

You looked around in dismay and scrambled to catch the pixels.

They alluded you and you finally looked over your shoulder.

Your eyes were misty.

Your expression warped.

Donnie could only gape.

“I’m… sorry…” You spoke in your best hushed tone. “I tried to h-hold on… I d-don’t know why they…”

You groped the empty air.

He gestured to his chin and out with fingers to sign that it was ‘okay.’

You searched his hands wildly.

Right, you didn’t know ASL.

He hoped to teach you one day under better circumstances.

“Mine…” His voice was hoarse.

Your spine snapped to attention. “D-Don’t f-force yourself!”

He shook his head and held up a hand in a mimic of how you held those ill-formed lamps.

Your pupils flicked up and down in a study. “Those… things… were… yours? T-that’s why I tried to save them…”

He let his limb fall.

You only partially understood. 

He needed to try something else. 

He pointed to himself again with renewed intent.

You thought with your entire being before you chanced meeting his eye.

He sent all the information he could there.

“You… y-you made them… go away…?” You finally allowed yourself to wonder.

He smiled.

Weary and small, but it came into his face like it barged in.

You returned it.

You were so good.

He snapped his fingers while signaling ‘bingo’ because he couldn’t help a bit of flare. 

It sparked flickers of pixels like a lighter that didn’t catch. 

The fuschia color danced a reflection in your eyes. 

“That’s… your… ninpo…?” 

He gave a single nod. 

“You make things…?” You softened. 

His head bobbed a second time. 

“You create…” You spoke to solidify the concept with overflowing affection. “What a perfect expression of you…” 

He’d immortalize that smile in his ninpo if he could. 

Without time or energy, he supposed he had to move onto more pressing topics. 

He spun a finger in the air and cocked his brow for curiosity.

“Where… are we…?”

He nodded.

“We’ve… well I… uh… commandeered the office…?” You sheepishly glanced back at the door.

Had you broken in?

It dawned on him.

He could see everything from an omnipotent view.

His mind churned out a top-down replay of what had occurred after his figure ran from the seating area.

You chased after him.

You bumped legs and saw no one in the process.

Out into the hallway, he nearly collapsed and you tried to get his attention.

He couldn’t give it and presumably the attendant on duty saw you.

Not one to bother others for help, you’d moved on sheer instinct. 

You of all people would know if he couldn’t entertain you then no one would be good enough. 

You sought the closest door that had a hope of giving him shelter. 

This office was unlocked because a certain someone had asked for copies of the playbills.

He ran inside and you followed before the attendant could catch you.

The door was locked then.

You had been guarding him and it ever since.

While he cocooned himself, you scoured the office for items that could help.

You probably dug through the desk drawers for the snacks. 

From the cold bottle, he bet there was a mini fridge behind the desk.

You would be in so much trouble.

You didn’t care.

Or, at least. 

You didn’t appear to. 

Amongst it all, you found time to supposedly save the random ninpo constructions he’d mistakenly built.

He needed you, now more than ever. 

Could he stand it?

He didn’t even care if his body argued otherwise.

He swooped his arms out and the blanket turned into a cloak.

You made a surprised noise and he swallowed you up with the fabric.

You squirmed against his hold.

He gave you only enough space to breathe.

“Donnie! Are y-you sure…?”

He nodded against the side of your head.

You were stiff for a few more moments until you relented into his hug. It was there that your body language read awkward, but you daintily tested your nose beneath his chin. With a drop of his head, he pinned you there and you breathed warmth against his neck. Both in concern and growing affection, you eventually slacked against him. It perfectly hid you away against his body and he gave a satisfied hum that he had you to himself.

You sat like that for both an infinite and painfully finite amount of time.

He then felt the pull of Earth’s orbit and tucked his beak down into his blanket folds. He found you there and nosed your forehead until you giggled at his snuffling.

“Donnie…” You protested without a single complaint.

“You’re wonderful.” He spoke muffled against your head and plied you with a few pecks.

“Donnie…” You tried again, this time mustering up the slightest objection.

“You’re going to get in trouble… for me…” His voice oozed mirth.

You stammered on an unknown syllable.

“My betwitching nova.”

You stilled instantly. “Nova…?”

“Super.” He only clarified.

It wasn’t enough to answer your question.

“The stunning core collapse of an aged star. The end of an era. The most powerful explosion any being could ever hope to see.”

You pushed.

He released you from his cage of limbs.

You moved only far enough away to look him right in the eyes.

You wanted to see if he meant it.

You found he did.

He gave you a lopsided grin.

“I’m so glad I got to see your first crime…” He brushed your cheek with the soft cotton.

You leaned against it and pouted. “Not… the play…?”

“Who cares about the play?! I’d repeat what happened tonight a thousand times just to see you break the law again.”

“H-hey! That’s not-!”

He reeled you back in to silence you.

This time you easily fought back and he didn’t bother to keep you.

You got away on your hands and knees before turning right back around on him.

You were adorably feisty.

The fight fell right off you and what was left was equally cute concern.

“Are you…?”

“I’m okay. Tired, but okay.”

You nodded relief.

“Thanks to you.”

Nerves at the gratitude had your shoulders pinching. “O-Oh well… B-been there… or… something like that…”

“Autistic meltdown.” He identified his calamity for you. “A distress not dissimilar to a panic attack, but completely different triggers and experiences.”

You attentively nodded.

“I’d like to ask one more illegal act from you.”

You squeaked to attention.

“Break us out? I… can’t deal with anyone else. Only you. I want to go home and curl up with you. I have a sensory mode in my room. That’s what I need.”

You weighed the scales of crime against his desire and he was more than pleased to see he came out on top.

“Give me… a f-few minutes…” You nodded to him dutifully before going to check the door.

He decided then that you would never burn out.

His precious neutron star. 

Not if he kept fueling the fire.

NEXT

Me burying my betas @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83 in chapters: I love my betas!

[batmansymbol]

can't remember the last time i made a blog post on this blog. i really am becoming the hermit i always aspired to be.

looking for somewhere to put this particular exhaustion though and journaling makes me feel lonely and lately all interpersonal interactions leave me with the feeling of having transgressed in many secret ways unknown to me. so vent follows. although for the record someday when i am a true hermit i will have found inner peace, and i will no longer make posts like this, and i instead will be able to identify a cypress tree on sight.

for now, i've been having this feeling of kneeling in the surf with my mouth open and the ocean trying to force itself down my throat. i'm working four jobs to make ends meet. they are meeting, barely. my 16-year-old car broke down for the last time, and this week i bought a new one from a man at a dealership who lied to me over the phone about hidden fees as though $900 meant nothing. now i have new car payments every month but i no longer hear a steady drip behind me in the car when it rains, can't decide which of the two feelings of dread is more potent. i loved that leaking car into its grave. i often wish i had a soul-crushing 9-to-5 that paid me $75,000 every year like clockwork. i am spreading myself too thin socially. i love everybody in my life. sometimes i receive profound and beautiful reactions to my writing, and also with four clicks i can see criticism of my work online that makes me feel like i should never have been born. i struggle to weight these experiences in a reasonable way in my mind. i have not read a new book since sally rooney's intermezzo. i hate everything i write but luckily the hatred comes in cycles, counterbalanced by defiant love, like my relationship with my forehead. i have to believe everything i write is the one (the one that will financially or artistically save me). i have to tell myself the one doesn't exist so as not to get my hopes up. i have to remind myself my problems are atomically small compared to nearly everything. i have to remind myself of this because sometimes it's the only thing that makes me feel human again. i have dreams about friends i had in high school and the shitty jokes i made to them, how much more sensitive i could have been. in the dreams they hate me, or forgive me, or hit me. last april at age 28 i began to have back pain every single night from a degenerated spinal disc and now at age 30 i have anti-arthritis pills in my toiletries bag. it hurts to lean back in a chair, but i have all my limbs and my mind. i wonder every day why i'm not doing something differently. my inability to do anything meaningful disgusts me. i find meaning whenever i open the blinds. i have forgotten to switch my car insurance to my new vehicle, so after i press Post Now i will go to the website that will ask me for my password and to confirm i am myself.

[simvanie]

My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024🎉

Thank you @theplottdump and @duusheen for the tag!! 💗🥰

Tagging: @someone-elsa, @aurorangen, @thebramblewood, @tulipsimss, @cowplant-snacks, @rebouks, @bakersimmer, @flocy-sims, @cowplant-pizza, and of course whoever else would like to do this! (I've lost track of who has and hasn't already done this, so feel free to ignore if you have! <3)

Januari

I remember one of the first things I did when Supriya aged up into a teen was to have her take selfies. Because not only is that someting a pride generation heir would do, but at the time I also thought she was one of the prettiest teens in my game ever.

Februari

I decided to fully furnish and decorate an apartment for Supriya to live in and I think this is when I realized that I'm 100% a maximalist when it comes to interior design.

March

Ah, the night of the gala where Supriya and Rohan finally let their walls down 😊. I based the the outfits and the location of the gala (before they got back to Supriya's apartment) on the gala scene from the movie Maid in Manhattan which was a movie I really liked as a kid and for some reason that gala scene imprinted itself in my brain.

April

I love a good sunset. But what I love more is Rohan and Supriya getting engaged in front of a good sunset. The couple moved to Brindleton Bay where they fell even more in love with each other, and I fell in love with the Brindleton Bay heatwaves (when it doesn't rain that is). Rohan and Supriya eventually got married and it was my first cultural in-game wedding and, you guessed it, I loved it.

May

A pregnancy photoshoot with Supriya and Rohan in that little park with the blossom trees in Lykke Centre, Windenburg. The other screenshot is a screenshot with Cedia as a siren that I never posted in the Halloween post of last year, so I decided to make another post this year with the screenshots I also loved and that didn't make the cut back then.

June

I was still experimenting with my decorating skills and I had a lot of fun decorating the kids' playroom and Gulshan's bedroom when they were little.

July

I did an "end-of-generation" photoshoot with Supriya and also made one of my oc's, Fawzia, for Thebramblewood's vampire casting call who until then had only existed in my head. And for my legacy I wanted to try something different with the lighting in the screenshots where Gulshan and his friends are partying and I really liked how it turned out.

August

Sad boi.

September

Gulshan got his restaurant and I love everything about it. I started building this restaurant when I started the 7 sins legacy and I was so excited when I could finally play in it.

October

I took this screenshot after Gulshan earned 4 stars for his restaurant. I posed everyone except for Lord Hamlet. He just walked past and it turned out perfect for this screenshot. Did I mention Lord Hamlet already? BECAUSE LOOK AT HIM! At first I wasn't sure how a pig who is actually a dog would work out in game, but he is my favorite in-game pet ever and I love him so much. The last screenshot I made to showcase the Poppy cas set by Surely-sims and Ice-creamforbreakfast and all the screenshots for this are some of my favorite lookbook screenshots ever.

November

Sad man.

December

Nothing beats baking cookies with the love of your life on a snowy winter morning.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 24 - Modern AU

@wolfstarmicrofic April 23, word count 937

Sirius gripped his coffee as though it were a lifeline. It was the biggest, strongest coffee he could find, watered down with copious amounts of milk. He took little sips as he logged into his computer at work, brought up his list of tasks for the day and slowly began muddling his way through. 

He’d gone out last night with James, against his better judgement, not that it took much persuasion on James’s part. All he had to do was bat his hazels at him, and Sirius was putty in his hands. 

He’d been having a great time, downing drinks, shaking his arse to the vintage jukebox and then woken up in some fit lad’s bed, hence the massive coffee and the mind-numbing hangover. He’d crept quietly out of the little flat and stumbled his way down the harsh concrete steps that smelled like weed, piss and, for some bizarre reason, hairspray. Sirius had rushed home, hopped in the shower, changed his clothes and hurried to the coffee shop on the corner. He couldn’t even remember the man’s name. He put it out of his mind, reasoning that he’d never see him again anyway. 

It took an age for the little digital clock on his computer screen to blink to 12:00 and signal lunchtime. 

Feeling the need for greasy food, he went to pull out his mobile to order a McDonald’s when he realised he didn’t have it. He checked all his pockets and his bag. It wasn’t there. The panic had just set in that it had been stolen at the bar last night when his computer alerted him to a new email on his personal account. 

‘Hi, erm, I guess Sirius. Sorry, I didn’t get your name last night 😬.

So anyway, I have your phone. You must have left it here when you snuck out this morning. (You are not sneaky, by the way! Like an elephant in size nines!) But yeah, anytime you want to come by and get it is fine. I’ll be in all day. Crap, I hope you get this email, or I’ve just got myself a new phone. It’s actually a big upgrade to mine. On second thoughts, it’s mine now, mwahaha 😈!

Thanks 

Remus Lupin.’

Sirius stared at the words for a few minutes, taking them in, before picking up the work phone from his desk and phoning himself. 

“Hello?” A voice on the other end answered. “Hi, I’m not Sirius. He left his phone at mine last night.”

“Hi, Remus. It’s me. Sirius.” He added in case he hadn’t realised.

Well, I guessed when you used my name. I highly doubt anyone in your phone book knows who I am. Especially ginger toss pot number 1. There’s more than one ginger toss pot?” Remus snickered. 

“Wait, how do you know that, and how did you get my email address? Have you hacked into my phone?!” He felt outraged. How had he even gotten in, though? It was password-protected.

“Sirius, 6969 is not a strong password. Plus, I could see where you’d jabbed at the screen to unlock it. You really need to clean your phone.” Remus went on. 

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” He paused for a second, trying to rein in the snarkiness. “I don’t finish work until 5. Is it alright to come over after that?”

“Sure,” Remus answered. “I’ll be in.” 

“Great, thanks.” Sirius forced a smile on his face so Remus could hear his sincerity.

“Who’s Specky Dick Nuts?  Because they’ve been blowing up your phone all morning before I woke up and found it. They seem to have stopped now, though.”

“Oh, that’s my best mate James. Oh shit, if he’s gone quiet, he’s probably tracking my phone. Er, be prepared. He probably thinks I need rescuing.” There was a loud thudding on the other end of the line. 

“Er, I think your friend might be here,” Remus whispered into the phone. 

“Put me on speaker so I can talk to him.” He heard the faint click as he was put on speaker and the sound of Remus unlocking the four locks on his door. 

“Hi, you must be James,” Remus said. 

“Where is he?!” James’s voice was stern and full of concern. 

“James, mate. I’m fine. I’m at work. I just forgot to pick up my phone this morning. This is Remus, by the way. He kindly let me know he had it.” He prayed that was enough to call off the Potter inquisition. 

“Oh, cool. Hi, Remus.” 

“Hi, James.” 

“Sorry, I thought you were some lunatic. And you were keeping him prisoner.” 

“Oh, don’t worry. Happens all the time.” The phone line was filled with laughter, and Sirius had to hold his receiver away from his head.

“Hey, James, can you take my phone, seeing as you’re there?”

“Sure thing.”

“Thanks, Remus.” He managed to say before James hung him up. He felt oddly dejected for some reason but brushed it off. 

When he came back from lunch, he found a new email, this time from Remus’s actual address.     

‘Can I take you out on a date?’ 

It said. Sirius felt a surge of joy and so replied.  

‘What do you have in mind?’

‘Dinner? Movie? Massive shagathon?’ 

Sirius choked on his own spit at Remus’s reply. He coughed as he typed back.  

‘Jesus, Remus. Are you always so forward?’

‘What can I say? You made an impression 😉.’

‘Yeah, go on then.’

And that was how Sirius found himself for the second morning in a row in Remus Lupin’s bed. But this time, he didn’t sneak out.

[kathaynesart]

I remember when you first started Replica and I haven't been here in a hot minute!

May you please do a debrief of what it is, the characters and their relationships.

I want to be able to give my friend (who I finally dragged down into this TMNT rabbit hole) a good explanation of your wonderful comic!

(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

Aw thank you so much! Hm… I suppose a summary would be good to have on hand. For the uninitiated with no context, here is the basic elevator pitch:

The year is 2044 and the last remaining Resistance of Earth has just fallen to the alien invaders known as the Krang. In a last ditch effort to save the planet, Casey, a freedom fighter is sent back in time to undo the events that first led to the invasion. While he is ultimately successful in his mission, the state of his original fallen timeline remains unknown. The last of the freedom fighters, his family, perished to ensure his safe escape, leaving their world to the mercy of the Krang.

Which brings us to the ultimate question: when you already know the heroes are doomed to fail, what can be gained from being told their story?

For the rest below, I’m going to write with the assumption that the reader has some basic knowledge of the series and the film because I feel that this story is best enjoyed with proper context.

SUMMARY

Replica is a story meant to answer many of the questions the first 4 minutes of the movie left us wondering. It’s to explain the basic history of the bad future timeline and how it came to be. The plot focuses particularly on the later half of the apocalypse, all with the intention of leading up to the opening scene where the Krang wins and Casey Junior is sent back in time to fix the mistakes that Leo and his family could not.

It’s to answer questions like:

How did Leo get injured?

Why is Mikey so old looking?

What were these characters like in the future?

What happened to Raph, Donnie, and April?

Where is big bad Krang Prime in all this?

How did the Resistance finally lose to the Krang?

Did they plan to send Casey back in time in advance?

What happened to this world/time-branch after Casey Jr was sent into the past?

MAIN CHARACTERS

For the most part, the cast is comprised entirely of characters from the series. My goal is to keep this as canon as possible, so no new OC's... save for one (kind of).

Omega Bootyyyshaker 9000 is where this story starts and ultimately where it ends. He is a brain scan AI of Donatello, created to act as both a support system for the Resistance after the turtle’s untimely death and also a key component in a plan that will hopefully put a stop to the Krang should the Resistance fail. Omega is great because he adds some much needed levity to the story, acting a bit more like the aloof but silly teenage Donnie (a side affect of not having to experience the usual physical weariness that comes with being an organic, aging organism in an apocalypse). However, he also adds more weight by being the thing that is supposed to outlast all of them and act as the last line of defense for the remainder of the universe. He claims to merely be a "replica" of Donnie's mind, but whether he's just a digitized scan, his own AI person, or somehow connected to Donnie in a deeper way has yet to be seen.

Leonardo Hamato: the man, the myth, the legend. Casey Junior spins tales of how great his sensei was in the movie, but in this story we really get to see Leo go from his lowest point as a pawn for the government, crushed by the shame of his past actions, to his greatest height as the leader of the Resistance. He is going to fail a lot in this story... but ultimately his greatest success is overcoming his own inner demons and coming to terms with being the father figure he had never asked to be. He cares deeply for his family and Casey... but he thinks he'd be a horrible dad.

Michelangelo Hamato: the only other surviving turtle to see the end of the world. He is the emotional bedrock of the family and a stand in therapist when he's not being a silly little guy. His mystical powers are unparalleled, but in his attempts to regain his lost Ninpo he taps into something far deeper, leading them down a path that intertwines the destiny of their doomed future and a past that has yet to occur.

Casey Jones Jr: a sweet boy taken in by the Hamato family. He strives to become a great warrior like his mother (Cassandra) and his Sensei (Leo). We are going to watch him grow from child to teenager as he slowly takes on the roll of being a fighter in the resistance. Through it all he must walk an unsteady line that allows him to find the strength to weather the storm but retain a certain spark of hope that helps keep his family going.

April O'neil: Commander of the Resistance and another honorary Hamato family member. She is the voice of reason and most emotionally stable of the family. Even after dealing with so much loss, she keeps a stiff upper lip as well as cold and calculating mind that always puts the colony's wellbeing first and foremost.

Donatello Hamato (deceased): The story begins shortly after Donnie’s passing during an infiltration mission against the Krang. He was dead set on planting a probe behind enemy lines that would allow them to spy on the Krang’s movements. However it seems that he had a secret agenda in planting something that would work as a final doomsday weapon against the Krang. What that is exactly, we do not yet know. The man self-destructed in a last ditch effort to avoid being interrogated by the Krang as well as a final attack to injure Krang Prime.

Raphael Hamato (deceased): The eldest brother who sadly passed away many years ago in the fight against the Krang. A boisterous but considerate man whose death sapped a great deal of the fighting spirit out of his brothers. His absence is greatly felt, but he might not be as far gone as he seems.

Krang Prime (One): Our big bad of the story. He is the leader of the Krang that has latched onto this planet like a cancer, using up its resources and assimilating its population. However, unlike the hundreds of planets that have come before this one is particularly personal. He doesn't want to merely assimilate but utterly destroy the descendants that caused his imprisonment thousands of years ago. His current state is unknown after being last seen with Donatello at the time of the man's self-destruction.

NEED TO KNOW DETAILS

All Resistance fighters have tiny self destruct bombs in their brains so that the Krang can not probe their minds to find out the Liberty Colony's location. They go off automatically after Krang infestation reaches a certain percentage, but can also be set off via voice command.

Donnie's brain bomb was far more potent because of the amount of information he knew. He did not want to risk the Krang getting any part of his mind.

The Krang have been searching for the resistance in a frustrating game of cat and mouse which has only become more difficult now that the Resistance easily knows their every move by using Donnie's probe.

Central Park Colony: now destroyed, but was once the last massive human colony in North America, housing both the EPF (Earth Protection Force) and US Government. Racism was a huge problem as most yokai and mutants were either quarantined, tested on, or used as living weapons in the fight against the Krang. It has since been destroyed.

Liberty Colony (aka the Resistance): grew from the ashes of the Central Park Colony. It is comprised of the survivors and lead by Leonardo, April, and several others. It is much smaller and more militaristic, but treats yokai, humans, and mutants equally.

Artificial Intelligence (like Omega and Shelldon) are able to fend off the Krang assimilation that people and tech would normally succumb to. It is for this reason Omega is used as both a protector of the Liberty Colony and operator for a majority of the vehicles so that the tech can no longer be easily taken over by the Krang during attacks.

Leonardo and Michelangelo (as well as Donatello's) Ninpo have all been stripped from them by this point in the story. While Leo can not tap into his family connection at all, Mikey at least has regained the ability to use some of his mystic powers.

Mikey's mystic abilities however come at a price. Since he can not tap into his Ninpo and the fountain of energy from his ancestors, he is instead using his own life force to cast his spells. It is slowly draining him.

TIMELINE Can be viewed HERE

SOURCE MATERIAL The video that inspired this all can be viewed HERE

Hope this helps! Sorry it's a bit long, tried to break it up with images. At least there might be a few interesting bits of information other readers may not have noticed. I snuck in a few things that haven't been mentioned yet, hehe.

[staerplatinum]

Some of my favorite doodles from my headcanon/redesign concept sheets used as an excuse to list my headcanons about the main six (for an AU that I'm writing)! More under the cut!

Charlie Morningstar:

She's way more hot-headed than in canon, albeit still keeping her cheerful and gentle persona.

She loves food, and she's always hungry. I always loved the trope of protagonists (both male and female, like look at Goku himself, Usagi Tsukino or Minako Aino) and I think it could fit Charlie perfectly!

She loves planning (and this is already canon) and she has a lot of stationary gadgets. "Sure Alastor, you can borrow any pen! ... Not that one! :D" And takes good care of them.

Her birthday is February 29th. I thought that it wouldn't be strange if her birthday ended up being that day if she follows a demoniac calendar...

Vaggie:

It's canon that she likes everything to be clean and organized. I think she would help Niffty with the rooms and everything! They bond!

She and Angel Dust absolutely have BFFs vibes. Before Hazbin Hotel I remember they were meant to be a couple, but with the new canon they're still adorable as best friends and I love the dynamic more. They get into fights but it's never anything serious, they look like a big brother and a little sis, even though sometimes she definitely acts as a big sis to him. Angel sees Molly through her :(

As we know she doesn't really believe in herself, but she actually makes a very good leader!

In my fanfic, contrarily to the series, she was really fighting with burning hate towards the angels that cast her out. She holds a deep grudge and it's hard for her to come out of it. (I want Out for Love to be useful, it's my favorite song ç_ç)

Her name as a human was Agata Flores, she was born the 28th of June in 1993. If we still count 2014 as her death and if she was once a winner that then became sinner... my headcanon is that she died of a hate crime in March 25th 2014, aged 21.

Angel Dust:

He's not in drag 24/7. He really is feminine, but sometimes likes to try masculine outfits too. (which make Husk wonder "why am I staring??")

He's secretly a nerd. Or not so secretly. He owns video games, and especially likes RPGs and life sims.

He overanalyses everything. Well, almost everything but still. He actually likes reading, and this led him to analyse anything that comes into his eye. (Oh, I can't wait to write one of those scenes because I already had fun outlining it LMAOO)

He's probably Charlie's food buddy. Give them some food and they'll be happy (Valentino doesn't like this but get screwed Val, give him food too)

His name as a human was Anthony (canon) Cavallaro and had Neapolitan heritage. He's born in April 1st (and this is canon) 1912, he died of overdose (canon) in October 11th 1947, aged 35.

Alastor:

I loved his pilot persona more than the series', and most of the things are confirmed canon... but I do have some headcanons for him, too! (also yeah I don't think that will be my last radioapple drawing or doodle lol)

We know he either doesn't sleep or sleeps with his eyes open. Well, I imagine him that in the few rare occasions he actually sleeps, his radio works as a mental surveillance "camera". Also, he's a light sleeper and would definitely go "Do you fellows mind? I'm trying to sleep." like the old man he is.

I would like to explore Alastor's feelings for Charlie more, and how he sees her as a daughter. While we may not know if he was telling the truth, I think they both seeked each other as a fatherly and daughter figures in a way. Many in the fandom headcanon Alastor's father to have been shitty to him. If he truly sees Charlie as a daughter, it could be because he would like to be a better father than the one he had, and since he never had children, he grew affectionate to Charlie as such.

He knows how to handle alcohol well, but I like to think that when he's really drunk he doesn't even know what he's doing. Oh, you saw him playing with Angel's Nintendo Switch? He even brought it into his room to continue playing Animal Crossing by himself? He was totally wasted.

His name as a human was Alastor (which is apparently canon, but I wonder if it'll be retconned or not?) Boudreaux-Alexander. Boudreaux was his father's last name, Alexander was his mother's. He didn't like his mother taking her husband's last name and wanted to keep his mother's. He was born in March 7th 1901, and died in August 4th 1933, aged 32, after being shot by a hunter that confused him with a deer and was mauled by dogs afterwards. (Yikes, I'm so sorry)

Niffty:

She definitely has written lots of fanfics about her fellow hotel friends. Especially men. Yet, she loves Charlie and Vaggie too, so they're there as well.

We know both Niffty and Husk have deals with Alastor. She loves them both, I love to headcanon that when she feels lonely and can't sleep well or had nightmares, she either goes to Husk's or Alastor's room to sleep with them. They welcome her warmly ç_ç

Alastor and Husk most definitely know Niffty's story, which is why they care about her so much. She's childish for her age, but it could be tied to a past that only the two of them know very well.

Niffty knew Vox when they were alive. Now I know it could be a weird headcanon since Niffty is Japanese and Vox is American, but if Niffty's work brought her around the world it wouldn't be weird if they crossed paths. When Vox died Niffty was 19, she either saw him die in front of her eyes or something else happened.

As I mentioned in my concept sheets, she used to wear glasses when she was alive so she can't see really well without them after she died. Sometimes she borrows Alastor's monocle, and if we apply the headcanon that he's colorblind, without his monocle not only he can't see anything but can't even see colors LOL

Her name when she was alive was Sachiko Tanaka, born February 27th 1934. She died September 1st 1956, aged 22, there are popular headcanons about the way she died and yikes, if it's true she didn't have a good death either. Not at all.

Husk:

Maybe I'm overanalysing but what if the reason why he grew affectionate to Niffty was because he once had children? Or just one? Either he had a child and was with him but felt like he wasn't a good father or his ex-wife left him because of his gambling addiction and this made him feel guilty, not able to see his child ever again. (I feel bad just thinking about this but ç_ç)

Despite the fact he hates being on a leash and none other than Alastor's, he actually cares about him. If the two were friends when they were alive (including Mimzy), this could explain why he's still around Alastor even if reluctantly. (Sure he says he's forced, but in the pilot Alastor summoned him, so it's safe to assume either Alastor-Husk-Niffty were roommates before coming to the hotel and did their business without telling Alastor, or simply we need more explanations of Alastor's deals)

His name when he was alive was Ivan Goncharov, born January 29th 1900, and died in December 23rd 1967, aged 67. As I mentioned in my concept sheets, he was friends with Alastor and Mimzy when they were alive and he was the last one of them to die. He would often visit his friends' graves when he was still alive :(